#last time I tried to talk about it she was like ‘I tidy when I’m in the mood’ 😃😃😃😃

[elysiumcalled]

long stupid rant below feel free to scroll on 🤣

I think my mum is getting annoyed at me making a few comments about her being messy and lazy lmao but every time I try to civilly bring up how it‘s not fair that I’m constantly cleaning up after (I get very unnecessarily angry about it sometimes lol) but she tells me off for moaning about her 😃 Like excuse me I am very quiet about how annoyed I get and I hate that it makes me mad at her for something so petty but it’s been going on for ages now 😭 I think ever since I’ve worked from home (I literally still work at home every day) it drives me insane to have it be too messy (and DIRTY) but mum is only at home 2/5 days do I don’t think it bothers her as much lol

[7s3ven]

NOBODY’S SON, NOBODY’S DAUGHTER. luke (pjo) pt 1

PART 1 > PART 2 > PART 3 > PART 4 (last pt)

( master list )

IN WHICH… Y/N L/N, after spending a decade at Camp Half-Blood, still remains unclaimed. Luckily, Luke is there to keep her company as her good friend. And to, perhaps, provide a bit more.

“I’m in the wind, you’re in the water. Nobody’s son, nobody’s daughter.”

( follows the show - kind of just a oneshot bc i’m bored )

Warnings : fighting, violence, a little too much of a description about injuries

—

Nobody had been this excited about a new kid since three years ago, when a H/C-haired girl showed up holding a Harpy’s head. The new arrival had slain a Minotaur, which Clarisse wasn’t too happy about. She was convinced he was a liar.

Y/N sat in the Hermes cabin, closely inspecting her empty juice box. She had waken up an hour ago yet her good friend, Luke, still woke up earlier. She always wondered where he went in the early morning. Perhaps to get some sword training in before the day started. He was, after all, the best swordsman in camp.

The rays of sun poured through the window, bathing the wooden floor in light. A few of the Hermes kids groaned, knowing Luke would burst through the doors any second and force them to get up. He always did when the sun rose.

As expected, Luke kicked the door open. “Good morning!” He exclaimed, as energetic as ever. “The new kid’s coming today so get up and start cleaning! I’m mainly talking to you guys.” Luke sent the group in the corner a stern look and added, “Y/N, you’re fine.” He pointed at her with his usual boyish grin.

Lately, Y/N had been sleeping in Luke’s bed while he slept on the floor. They took turns switching. Lying on the ground for more than a decade now wasn’t good for the back.

After all this time, Y/N was still unclaimed. It usually took a week or less. Y/N was a prime example of the Gods above ignoring their children.

“He’s the one who killed the Minotaur, right?” Y/N questioned as Luke collapsed onto his mattress, partly to annoy Y/N who was sitting on it. The H/C-haired girl scoffed and playfully rolled her eyes, yet she couldn’t contain the amused smile on her face.

“Yeah. He can join your little monster slaying group. Let’s hope he gets claimed because I can’t deal with a boy version of you.” Luke teasingly grinned while Y/N scoffed and slapped his shoulder.

“You love my company.” She uttered, rolling her eyes.

Luke’s friends snickered to themselves. “More like he loves you.” One whispered to another.

“What’s his name again?” Y/N asked, tilting her head to the side. “Was it… Tom?” Luke stared at her in disbelief before lightly snorting.

“You’re way off, Y/N. Stop thinking, you’ll hurt that tiny brain of your’s. Just do what you do best; sit still and look cute.” Luke ruffled her tidy hair, turning it into a bird’s nest again.

Y/N flung a pillow at him, and glowered at the Hermes boy. “I’m going to kick your ass in capture the flag.” She threatened, poking his shoulder. Clarisse, out of all people, was her best friend. So naturally, she teamed up with her.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, princess.” Luke lightly shoved her which caused Y/N to gasp in disbelief.

“Don’t push a lady, Luke!”

The other campers, already used to their antics, just chuckled. “Hey, love birds!” One of the unclaimed kids exclaimed. “Get a room!” With her smart she was, Y/N assumed she was Athena’s child.

Y/N and Luke liked to play a silly game where they guessed which camper belonged to which godly parent. It was fun. Luke was never wrong until the day he tried to guess Y/N’s.

A year ago, he guessed Aphrodite. His explanation? Because she was charming and she had a certain aura that followed her. And because she was pretty. That was the only time he was wrong because Y/N never ended up in a cabin.

“So, what do you think of the new kid? Which cabin?” Y/N asked as she and Luke walked outside. He shoved his hands into his pockets, laughing.

“Tough call. I haven’t even met him yet. Apollo, maybe?” Luke shrugged and frowned. “I’ll tell ya my guess when I see him.”

“I’m guessing… Poseidon.” Y/N uttered, earning a light snort from Luke.

“No way. Is that your confirmed guess? Being a child of Poseidon would mean being a forbidden child.”

The game had a few rules.

One. You can only take a single guess and once you confirm it, you can’t change it.

Two. You can’t ask the kid you’re talking about. Luke considers that cheating. You can only observe them.

Three. No asking Annabeth because she’s always right.

“I guess. It’s not like I ever win, right?” Y/N laughed, grinning at Luke. He stared at her for a moment before returning her bright smile.

“I know we don’t usually make bets, but if your guess turns out right, I’ll willingly give up in the next capture the flag game after he’s claimed.” Luke puffed out his chest, certain Y/N wouldn’t win.

“And if you win?” She asked, arching an eyebrow.

“You give me your strawberries.” Luke had an obsession with strawberries that everybody, even the gods above, knew about.

“You’re on, Luke.” Y/N held out her hand with her lips curved up into a teasing smirk.

“Good luck, princess. Looks like I’ll be taking all your strawberries.” Luke ran his tongue over his teeth, already being able to taste the sweet, red fruit in his mouth.

He walked off, playfully winking at Y/N. Clarisse, who saw the whole conversation go down, hurried over to Y/N. “Looks like you and lover boy have a bet going in.” She smirked, raising both her eyebrows. “You two are cute together.”

“Don’t mess with me, Clari. We’re just friends.” Y/N rolled her eyes at what her friend was suggesting. She had been friends with Luke for three years now and she had known him for even longer.

“Are you just friends… or you want to be more?” Clarisse leaned forward with that taunting glint in her beautiful eyes. Y/N groaned, shoving her away. Clarisse simply laughed. “Come on, princess.” She mocked.

“Oh, come on, Risse.” That was a horrid nickname given to Clarisse by an Apollo boy who seemed to be obsessed with her.

“Shut up!” Clarisse exclaimed, eyeing Y/N up and down in disgust as if she was the Apollo boy. “You know how I feel about him!”

“And you know how I feel about Luke.”

“Yeah… but do you?” Clarisse tilted her head to the side before her gaze flickered to something, or rather someone, behind Y/N. “The Minotaur kid is out.” She grumbled and sharply clicked her tongue.

“Great. I can see if my stupid guess was correct.” Y/N glanced over her shoulder, watching the boy walk beside Chiron. His hair was curled, much like Luke’s, and blond. Clarisse had wandered off in the midst of Y/N’s staring, but she didn’t mind.

Suddenly, the boy lifted his head. His eyes clashed with Y/N’s, and he almost jumped at how intensely she was staring at him. Y/N merely smiled before turning away.

“So, what do you think?” She asked Luke as they walked towards the Hermes cabin side by side, their shoulders brushing against each other.

“Hard to say for now.” Luke replied. Y/N looked at him and he stared back before the pair burst into quiet laughter. Just locking eyes could make two friends find anything hilarious.

“I assume you’ll take him under your wing? Good luck.” Y/N nudged him with her elbow, which seemed to be a normal gesture between them.

“Thanks, princess. See ya.”

Y/N turned around, almost crashing into a disoriented Percy Jackson. He seemed jumpy and panicked. Of course, how couldn’t he be? He had just unknowingly killed a monster and his mother had been taken.

“Hi. The first day is always rough. Don’t beat yourself up about it.” Y/N muttered to him before she passed by.

She didn’t stick around to hear Chiron announce him. She sighed, wandering aimlessly around the camp. She saw Clarisse talking to her siblings. Y/N had always wondered what it was like to have siblings you could relate to. What did it feel like to understand each other? To go through the same difficulties?

The Hermes cabin was comfortable and friendly enough but it wasn’t the same. She wanted to feel what a true family felt like, or at least was supposed to.

As Y/N had expected, Luke was the first to talk to Percy.

“I’m Luke.” He introduced himself to the boy after the rocky start to their conversation.

“Percy. Hey, uh, who was that girl before? The H/C-haired one?” He questioned, clearing his throat.

“Y/N. She’s nice most of the time the time but a pain in the ass during capture the flag.” Luke chuckled, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m just kidding. Don’t tell her I said that, though.”

“You guys seem close.” Percy uttered, remembering the way Luke looked at Y/N when they talked.

“Yeah. She’s my best friend. Unfortunately for me, her best friend is an aggressive Ares kid.” He grinned, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “Feel free to lie down anywhere. Just don’t get too close to Y/N. If she’s having a monster dream, she kicks in her sleep.”

One of the campers across the cabin groaned. “I know how that feels. The bruise lasted for weeks!” The others burst into laughter while Percy hurriedly made a mental note.

Avoid the pretty girl when she sleeps.

Percy was lucky that Y/N, who lay on the floor a few feet away from him, wasn’t having one of her infamous nightmares. He couldn’t say the same for himself, though.

Percy sat up, panting and sweating. He looked around, realising where he was. Birds chirped in the distant and he could hear the faint sound of chatter through the wooden walls.

“You okay?” Luke asked.

“Super.” Percy sarcastically responded.

“We all have them here, you know.” Luke clicked his tongue and sighed. “Intense, reoccurring nightmares. That’s normal here. Take Y/N for example. When she first came here, no one wanted to get near her while she slept. Girl’s a bloody good kicker.”

Percy lightly chuckled while Luke smiled. “The daydreams and ADHA and dyslexia are normal too. Demigods just process reality differently than humans do. For the first time in your life, you’re just like everyone else.”

“So, are you also…” Percy trailed off, not wanting to sound rude to his first friend at camp.

Luke found his hesitation amusing. “Am I unclaimed? No. Hermes is my father.”

“And Y/N? Is her father also Hermes?”

Luke scrunched up his face like he had just eaten a sour lemon. “Oh, no. Heck no. Y/N’s unclaimed… still. She has been for a while.” The brunette pressed his lips into a thin line as he gazed at Y/N, who was laughing with Clarisse.

“Why hasn’t Aphrodite claimed her? I mean, she looks the part.”

“That’s what we’re all asking ourselves. We all thought she’d be Aphrodite’s kid.”

Boys and girls flocked towards Y/N like she was a muse. It was no secret that out of all the campers, Y/N stood out the most. There was something unique about her, how she always hung around the aggressive Ares kids like she wanted to be one of them.

She was a tough opponent but a little too soft for Ares’ liking.

Too gentle for Ares but too angry for Aphrodite. She was constantly stuck in the middle. It almost seemed like no god or goddess wanted her in their cabin because she had proved herself over and over again.

“How long has she been unclaimed?” Percy inquired. Kids before him had asked that very same question and every time, they were never ready for the answer.

“A decade.” Luke replied, “She’s been here for a decade. Last year, there was a stupid rumour going around that she was fully mortal but that doesn’t make sense. If she was, she wouldn’t be here in the first place.”

“Why so long?”

“Nobody knows.” Luke shrugged. He had wondered that too. And he could see how it was weighing down on Y/N. The unclaimed kid was what campers referred to her as. They used her as an example of what not to do.

“Will she ever get claimed?”

Luke hoped she would. For her sake. He knew how she felt about not having a related family of her own. For now, she was satisfied laughing over silly tales with the Hermes kids.

“So, where does she go during the day? She disappeared yesterday and today.” Percy tilted his head to the side, not being able to spot Y/N anymore. Luke paused. It was uncommon for him to not have an answer to everything.

“I… don’t know. I assume Clarisse and her go somewhere.”

“Probably swimming in the lake.” Grover said, overhearing the two’s conversation.

It was scorching during Summer at Camp Half-Blood. Most stayed in the shade while an occasional kid or two tended to the plants. So it would make sense that Y/N would go to a lake to cool off.

Luke left Percy in the company of Grover and made his way towards the Lake in the middle of the forest. As Grover guessed, he found Y/N and Clarisse and a few other Ares kids swimming in the water or sitting on the nearby rocks.

“Hey, Y/N, your lover boy is here!” One of them exclaimed. Y/N, from her spot in the middle of the lake, glared at him. She huffed before swimming over to Luke, easily heaving herself onto shore.

“Hey, Luke, ready to make your guess yet?” She asked, grinning up at him. “Or do you wanna swim?”

“My guess is definitely not Hephaestus.” Luke said as he sat down in front of Y/N. His gaze flickered to her new swimsuit. “New bathing suit?”

“Yeah. Miya got it for me.” Miya was a child of Aphrodite and favored Y/N quite a lot.

“Ah. No wonder it’s so…” Luke hesitated, “Revealing.” He tried to act like a gentleman but his cheeks flushed every time he even looked at Y/N.

“One more day until I kick your ass.” Y/N laughed as she sank back into the water, returning a moment later with her hair dripping wet and her face shining in the sunlight. She looked effortlessly angelic.

“Are you sure you’re ready to handle Y/N again, Luke? She almost beat you last time.” Clarisse snickered as she floated on her back.

Luke scoffed. “Keyword. Almost.” It was true that Y/N had almost beaten him in his own game of sword fighting but that was because she was becoming increasingly more distracting.

Gone was the shy and quiet kid who always trailed behind Clarisse. With every passing year, Y/N became more headstrong and, well, beautiful. That’s why it was so hard for Luke to keep his feelings to himself now. Even Clarisse could see through his facade.

“I’m ready to make my guess.” Luke finally announced, catching Y/N’s wavering attention. She arched an eyebrow, intrigued. “My guess… is Demeter. I met the kid and he seems gentle. A soft and kind soul.”

“Nice. I guess we’ll find out soon.” Y/N’s guess was nothing but a joke and she’d end up laughing if she was actually correct.

“Join me for a little swim?” Y/N asked, reaching out to tug on Luke’s shirt. He sighed while Y/N merely smiled. A moment later, he gave in. Luke lifted his shirt over his head while Y/N stared at him a little too shamelessly for her liking. Some of the Ares boys teasingly wolf-whistled which made Luke chuckle.

He jumped into the lake, practically tackling Y/N and taking her under with him. “Luke!” She yelled, hitting his shoulder when they resurfaced.

“Oh no. The married couple is fighting again.” Zyra, Clarisse’s half-sister, said. She and Clarisse shared a knowing grin.

“They’re so whipped.” Clarisse whispered, subtly swimming away to give the two more space.

It was the day Y/N had eagerly been waiting for. Perhaps her favourite day at Camp. Capture the flag day.

Clarisse handed Y/N a spear. “I got it fixed for you.” The brunette said. During the last game, Y/N’s spear had broken. She was forced to fight with half of it after that.

Y/N adjusted Clarisse’s armour, ensuring that it was tight enough before putting on her own helmet.

“You’re gonna love this.” She overhead Luke say to Percy as they passed by. “Camp-wide mock warfare. All glory to the victors. Annabeth’s the head counsellor. She’s led our team to three straight wins.”

Y/N looked away, giving Luke the perfect chance to gaze over at her. “Y/N and Clarisse lead the other team. Clarisse is rather… impulsive, though. Y/N’s come up with some good plans but Ares kids always go off the rails.”

“What’s the deal with you and Y/N anyway?” Percy suddenly switched the topic, much to Luke’s surprise. “I mean, you guys say you’re just friends but you’re always looking at each other. And talking. And you stare at her like she’s your world. Sometimes I wish I could look at someone like that.” Percy sighed while Luke was left speechless.

Luke cleared his throat and shook his head. “Let’s just… focus on the game.”

The conch shell blew. Y/N stood side Clarisse, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. “Heroes, it’s time.” Chiron announced. “The game begins. The first team to retrieve the opposing flag and return it across the river shall be the victor. As always, there will be no maiming and no killing. I trust these rules will be respected.”

He subtly glanced over at Clarisse and her cabin.

“Let the games begin.”

There was twenty minutes until the next conch shell, which meant game-on. Normally, Clarisse and Y/N would pair up and hunt through the woods for the first few hours. But Clarisse had a different idea this time.

“Good luck.” Y/N said to her friend, slinging her spear over her shoulder. Y/N split up with the rest of her team, taking with her small portion of campers.

“We follow Clarisse’s plan this time. We’re the last defense meaning that if the blue team manages to get through, we fight like our lives depend on it.” Y/N said as she gripped her spear tightly.

“What are going to do?” Someone else asked.

“I’m going to…. look around.”

Luke grunted as a sword piercing his upper arm. He easily disarmed his opponent and kicked them to the ground.

“We give up.” The red leader grumbled, wincing as their brushed their fingers over his cuts.

“I wanna move quick. Straight through the woods for their flag.” Luke uttered.

“Y/N and Clarisse hunt in those woods for the first few hours, you know that. They’ll cut us down.”

Luke grinned, shaking his head. “Annabeth has a plan for Clarisse. And Y/N, as always, is mine. Don’t worry about her.”

“Last time I didn’t worry about her, she almost chopped my head off. By accident!” Chris loudly exclaimed, shoving Luke. Unbeknownst to the pair, Y/N was watching from above in the trees, hidden by the thick leaves.

She skilfully hopped from branch to branch, sliding down in front of her teammates. “The blue team is coming. They got past the other defences. Get in position.” Y/N hid behind a thick tree branch, panting and listening carefully for the sound of Luke’s voice.

She heard a twig snap and peeked her head out slightly to see Luke, Chris, and the rest of their small team. Y/N looked up, signalling to her friends above that it was almost time.

The moment Luke, who was leading the pack, stepped right where Y/N wanted him, she revealed herself. “Now!” She shouted, raising her spear and striking Luke. He easily blocked her attack.

“Thought you could ambush us, princess? Nice try.” Luke chuckled, pushing Y/N back.

“I’d say that it worked just fine.” Y/N retorted, lunging at Luke again. She pinned him to a nearby tree, holding the blade of her spear to his throat.

Chris grabbed Y/N by her shirt, pulling her back. Luke swung his sword at her but Y/N simply ducked to avoid the blow.

She tried to run off to help her teammates but Luke blocked her path. “Where do you think you’re going?” He uttered, playfully furrowing his eyebrows.

Y/N scoffed, kicking his ankles. She pointed at spear at his chest, poking it ever so slightly. “Ready to give up, Luke?”

“In your dreams.” He rolled over, latching onto Y/N’s arm and pulling her down with him. Y/N yelped, quickly scrambling up before he could grab her again.

She looked around at her surroundings, finally understanding what Luke’s plan was. It was to keep Y/N away from her team so that Luke’s could take them down. That left Y/N solely alone, standing between the flag and the blue team.

She panted, glaring at Luke. “Bring it on, Luke.” She muttered, holding up her spear. Luke was the first to make a move. He jumped at her, swinging his blade. Y/N dodged it and blocked another attack from Chris.

She quickly lowered her head, tackling another Hermes kid. Y/N rolled across the floor, swiftly standing up. “You won’t be getting near that flag on my watch.” She kicked Luke and whacked Chris. One of the Athena girls launched herself at Y/N, gripping onto her leg.

Y/N shook her off but the girl’s weight caused her to topple over. The bits of debris grazed at her skin. Chris swung his sword, slashing at Y/N. The blade cut her lower arm and blood welled up from the slit.

Quietly groaning, Y/N heaved herself up. She lightly swayed, unbalanced and a little weak. “Like I said,” She murmured, “You aren’t getting that flag.”

Y/N blocked every attack and blow aimed her way but she was getting slow. She could barely lift her weapon fast enough to stop Luke from successfully landing a hit.

Everything was becoming too overwhelming as she struggled to keep up. It was all a fast blur filled with weapons violently clashing against each other and shouting.

Up above, thunder crashed and lightning flickered through the darkening sky. Rain poured down, drenching the campers.

The thunder got louder and the lightning brighter as the seconds passed until nobody could ignore it. A harsh flash of lightning hit a tree nearby, setting it alight.

“Y/N, watch out!” Luke shouted, reaching out. Strings of electricity rippled around Y/N as a burning tree branch fell towards her. Luke sprinted towards her, dropping his sword in the process. He tackled Y/N, shielding her from harm’s way.

She groaned as she hit her head, black dots swirling around in her vision. She felt numb and her head lolled to the side as she heard shouts of victory followed by gasps of surprise.

“Y/N L/N has been claimed by Zeus, the king of Gods and the God of thunder and ruler of the sky.”

[catssluvr]

hiii if ur still looking for emily prentiss requests… could u possibly do like i dunno something about a playlist? sorta where you & emily make a playlist for your relationship and each sonh correlates with a different memory… perhaps….

p.s. thank u so much for writing my first request, it couldnt have been better ❤️❤️

- 🐞

hi again, bug!! (hope its ok i call u that 💗) i’m so glad you liked the other one 🫶🏻

this was so fun to write, ur ideas are just superior 💌

𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒔 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒚, emily prentiss

emily prentiss x sunshine!wife!reader

you and emily remember your relationship by making a playlist <3

warnings: mentions of pregnancy (no pregnancy tho), emily's fake death, bit of angst, r likes the smiths and stevie nicks?

note!: i used laufey and taylor for this cause they're what i've been listening to, i'm not implying em would listen to them!

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

Emily pads towards the balcony as soon as she finishes the laundry, eager to get her late night cuddles with you.

You lay on the hammock, city lights illuminating the balcony and making your face glow nicely. She takes a moment to take in your appearance. Fuzzy pink socks, an old yale hoodie of hers and pyjama pants that don't match even the slightest bit. Yet you look better than ever.

Your gaze is focused on your phone, thumb scrolling slowly and brows furrowed in concentration.

"You'll get wrinkles if you keep frowning." She chuckles and your face immediately softens when you look at her.

"I'd stop frowning if my wife was laying with me and not doing boring chores." You joke back, hand reaching out and signalling for her to join you.

Emily complies without a question, clumsily laying behind you so that you're now between her legs. Her hands rest on your stomach as she peeks over your shoulder to get a look at your phone screen.

"What are you so focused on?" She asks in confusion as she looks at the list of songs on the screen.

"Well, since we are planning on having a plus one on the family soon, at some point i'll be way to pregnant to get on the jet. And i know i'll miss you too much so i thought that maybe i could make a playlist of songs that remind me of us. Just so i can have a bit of you while you're away." She finds herself at a loss of words. It's not that she doesn't know you're quite loud about your love for her, but it never ceases to make her speechless. It always has and always will be that way.

"Can i have that after you're finished?" She asks. The idea of finally starting a family with you might be thrilling, but you are right on one part. It will definitely suck to be away on a case for days while you're here all by yourself.

"Mhm, but only if you help me make it." You fingers toy with her ring, head turning to kiss her jaw before returning to look at your phone.

"Deal." She smiles in return.

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

from the start, laufey

"me and you and awkward silence, don't you dare look at me that way"

"when i talk to you a cupid walks right through and shoots an arrow through my heart"

Emily takes one last glance around the living room, searching frantically for anything out of place. It's probably the fifth time she's doing it in the spawn of minutes. But to be fair, it's your first time coming over and she feels the need to have everything perfect for you.

Her apartment is usually very tidy, she tends to do things more easily if the space around her is organized. But it has to be specifically perfect today. The floors are shining, no dust can be found on the shelves and she has a vanilla scented candle on just to make a nice ambiance.

It's probably weird that she's doing all of this just for a sleepover with a friend, but you're not really just that. Unless friends kiss on parties and just whenever they feel like it. She tries to think of it as something 'casual', it just feels quite impossible to do so when she's pretty sure she's had feelings for you from the start.

A knock on the door has her taking a deep breath, rubbing her already sweaty hands on her jeans. Opening the door, she's met with your excited smile.

"Hi, Em!" You're practically bouncing off your feet with happiness.

"Hey, come in." She returns the smile just as excitedly, taking the bag slung over around your shoulder and setting it on the nearby sofa.

"Your place is so nice. Is that vanilla?" Her smile brightens up so much her cheeks hurt, she's so glad you noticed.

"Yeah, i found this candle somewhere in a drawer and remembered it's your favorite smell." She actually went to the store earlier to buy it just for you, but that would be too weird to admit.

"That's nice." You note, a slightly awkward silence following.

It's almost inevitable, you've never been here and the fear of saying something wrong is definitely present. You look around the living room, desperate to find something to say so you can hear her voice again. Your eyes land on the record player on the corner of the room, a collection of vinyl's on it's side.

"You collect?" You ask pointing to them.

"Oh, they're mostly from when i was a younger. But yeah, i buy one or two occasionally." She chuckles nervously before adding, "Do you wanna take a look?"

"Yeah, yeah of course!" You answer a bit too enthusiastically, cursing yourself internally from embarrassment.

"I should warn you, they might not really be your taste." She comments as you start looking through the generous collection of vinyls.

"S'okay, i wanna know what you like." You smile warmly, looking at her with those damn eyes that make her melt into a puddle.

You chuckle as you come across one of them, "Siouxsie and the Banshees? The cool punk kids at my school used to listen to them."

"I guess you can call it that." She grimaces slightly at the image of it. "You know, i actually went to their concert. Pretty sure i have a shirt somewhere."

"Cute." You mumble before going back to your search, not noticing the way her cheeks grow red at the simple compliment.

"Oh my god- Fleetwood Mac?!" You gasp, delighted to finally find one that you both might like.

"Yeah- do you like them?" She smiles surprised. Her fingers hitch to tuck the strand that falls on your face but you beat her to it.

"Are you kidding? Die hard Stevie Nicks fan." You pull out the vinyl and she encourages you to play it.

"Hm, guess you did find something your taste after all." She says, making note to remember that you like them.

A few months later when your birthday arrives, she gifts you a vinyl signed by Stevie Nicks herself. She knew you'd tell her not to spend that much for a gift, but it was worth for your smile.

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

paper rings, taylor swift

"now i've read all of the books beside your bed"

You enter the bullpen with a small smile on your face, bag of italian food in your hands. You're sure that if Hotch sees you here on your day off, he'll probably drag you outside himself so you quickly look around for your raven haired girlfriend. Because your day off doesn't always mean Emily's day off - unfortunately.

"Hey Spencer, have you seen Ems?" You ask the boy who seems awfully concentrated in the magic cube in his hands, occasionally taking bites off a sandwich.

"Pretty sure i saw her entering the break room a few minutes ago." He answers, not really looking up from whatever he was doing.

You frown at that, you know she didn't bring her lunch today. It was in the counter this morning, so you assumed she just forgot it,

"Thanks." You ruffle his hair as walk by, heading to the break room before you can hear him grumbling.

As silently as possible, you open the door. Emily sits by a desk in the corner and doesn't seem to notice your presence at all. She has a book in her hands and you assume she's listening to music by the mp3 laying on the table.

Once you're close enough to see better, you recognize the book cover immediately. It's one of your favorite romances, it's so dear to you that it has it's special place on your nightstand - along with a few others. And now that you think about it, you don't remember it being on it's place this morning. A surprised smile makes way to your face, amusement all over your expression.

You tiptoe to stand right beside her before settling the bag on the table. She jumps, visibly frightened, before she sees you and her cheeks flush in embarrassment. Her hands reach to take off the earphones.

"Are you reading my romance book? I didn't quite take you for a romance girl." You tease.

"Well- i'm full of surprises." She answers, trying to hide her flustered expression but failing at lying - as always. You don't show any signs of being convinced at all, arms crossing and eyebrows raising.

"Fine, you win." She grumbles, closing the book and turning slightly to get a good look at you. "I thought it would be nice to read the books you always talk about." You think your heart might just explode at that.

"Em, that's so sweet-" Your eyes flicker to her mp3, a small gasp leaving your lips. "Emily Prentiss, are you listening to the smiths?" You laugh. This definitely comes as an even bigger surprise to you, she's never been a big fan of them.

"Yeah? You like them, right?" She looks confused and you can't help but think she looks more adorable than ever. She's probably doing the romantic thing someone has ever done to you and doesn't even realize it.

"You're perfect." You confirm with nothing but sincerity.

Emily groans in annoyance when her cheeks grow flushed again, dropping her head against your stomach and smiling against it. You chuckle quietly, fingers running through her hair while the food starts getting cold in the table.

"I brought you some food. Your favorite." You sit in the chair next to hers, bringing it closer to her.

"You're perfect." She remarks while reaching out for the bag.

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

fresh out the slammer, taylor swift

"fresh out the slammer i know who my first call with be to"

"now that i know better i will never lose my baby again"

You feel overwhelmed with emotions, just as many as when you were sitting on a hospital chair while a doctor was telling you your girlfriend didn't make it. You don't exactly remember how long ago that was, too long. Months of denial and grief that feel like a blur now.

It doesn't really matter now. Not after finding out Emily was actually very alive.

You don't know how you're supposed to react. What does someone do when they find out their girlfriend had to fake her death because of a serial killer?

You feel betrayed, how could she not tell you? You feel anguished, because you might have been mourning her for all this time but now it feels like you're mourning for what you had before. It's never going to be the same again.

And you want to feel angry at her, you really do. But it always drifts off to thinking about all of the things she's probably went through since the last time you saw her. You think about what he could have done to her, how bad it must have been for her to have to run away to Paris.

You want to hate her for ruining it, but you love her because she's her.

She's dead. Emily's dead. The untouched clothes on your shared closet and dusty record player are proof. You don't dare to touch her things, you can't.

The knock on your door isn't unexpected at all. You knew she'd come, you just couldn't pretend you knew how it was possible.

The sight of her face makes your breath get stuck in your throat, knot returning and making it impossible for words to come out. Tears bream in your eyes and all you can get yourself to do is let her in and rest against the door once it's closed. After all it's her house too, her home. Or at least you thought so.

Emily only looks at you for a moment, not getting any luck at locking eyes with you as you look at anything but her.

"I-" Her voice cracks before she gets a chance to speak, taking a deep breath before trying again, "I'm sorry- god, i'm more than sorry. I had to, i promise you. There was no other option. I couldn't- he would've-" She cuts herself off when you finally look at her. She expected anger, she wants you to be angry her. It's what she feels like she deserves. But if anything, you look sorrowful.

"I need you to know why i did it. I needed to protect you. I know i hurt you, you have no idea how much it cost. But it would've ended way worse if i hadn't done it. I did what i did because i love you, as much as it doesn't seem like it." She forces herself to keep a steady voice, it won't help her at all to breakdown right here.

"You could've told me." Your voice is small and strained. But she's never felt more glad to hear your voice before.

"You would've come after me." She whispers with a shake of her head.

"I would've." There's no room to lie, not right now. You know why she did it, you understand. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. What now? Are you supposed to pretend that nothing happened?

"Please- i know i'm asking so much of you already. But don't give up on me, i know i won't give up on you. Let me try to fix it, i want to try." She sounds almost desperate, tears freely running down her face. "Please."

"I want to. But i can't just pretend nothing happened all of the sudden. Not yet." You answer. It pains you to almost reject her, never in your wildest dreams you would have thought this would happen. But it's not a 'no', just a 'not yet'.

"You don't have to, i'll wait for you. I'll wait for my whole life if i have to. It's worth it, i know it is. There's no one i could ever love as much as i love you." She's sure of what she's saying and you don't have to try hard to know it.

You nod, your own tears leaving your eyes. It would never be the same, not after all you've been through. But there's always the option of starting over and forming something even better.

˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

bewitched, laufey

"wrapped me in your arms, leaned in and whispered 'keep me in your heart'"

"you bewitched me, from the first time that you kissed me"

You rub your tired eyes, quickly adjusting to the dim light illuminating your room. You feel groggy and messy, but that nap was definitely a good idea. This case had been particularly draining and right after you landed all you needed was a nap. Going to sleep at daylight to wake at night feels weird, but that means Emily is probably already home. She insisted on staying at the bau to get her report done.

Getting up and quickly fixing your clothes, you walk down the hall. The delicious smell of lasagne (Emily's speciality) reaches your nose and you smile contently.

When you approach the living room you come across your lovely girlfriend settling a fresh out the oven tray of lasagne in the table. The table is set in a weirdly fancy way, two scented candles adding up to the romantic mood and there's jazz humming softly from the vinyl player.

"Hi, love. Well rested?" She asks softly, walking up to you and kissing your forehead lightly.

"Mhm...what's the special occasion?" You wrap her in a hug and nuzzle against her neck. Still feeling slightly drowsy from the nap as you place lazy kisses there.

"Can't i just want to do something nice for my amazing girlfriend?" She teases. You believe that she would do something nice for you, she does that even way too much. You don't believe that's the case though, it feels strangely planed. You know her enough to realize that quickly.

"You can, m'love." You decide to play along, not wanting to ruin whatever it is that she's planning. Besides, it does look really nice. Mainly the lasagne that's starting right at you, your stomach growling in anticipation.

"C'mon let's eat, don't want you to get grumpy." She laughs as you scoff, it is true that you tend to get grumpy when hungry.

Emily pulls the chair for you and you're even more sure now that she's got something up her sleeve. Either that or the glimmer in her eyes that she has specifically when she's excited about something.

Dinner goes by peacefully, you mostly just eat silently as she talks about what you should both do tomorrow since it's your day off. You settle on visiting the new bookstore that's just around the corner and have a nice walk at the park after. Even after almost a decade of being her girlfriend it still amazes you that even when she should be resting at home, she prefers to spend the precious time she has in her days off with you.

Emily is your company for life, your coworker, your bestfriend, your family, your girlfriend. It almost feels silly to simply call her your girlfriend, she's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, that's one of the only things you're absolutely sure in your life.

You're doing the dishes when you hear the volume of the music playing in the living room turn up. Seconds later, two familiar arms are wrapping themselves around you from behind. You feel her kiss the spot right behind ear before nuzzling against your neck.

"Dance with me." It's more of an affirmation rather than a question. You raise your eyebrows but comply anyway, drying your hands quickly on a towel before she's dragging you to the living room.

The music is more clear now, the soft melody promoting a small smile to your lips. Emily's hands find your waist once more, this time in front of your. You immediately wrap your arms around her, face almost involuntarily resting against her shoulder as you both start gently swaying with the music.

Your heart beats almost wildly in your chest, and yet you feel more at peace that ever. It's not often you get to just enjoy her company like this. You feel incredible lucky to get to work with her everyday but it feels good to have Emily all to yourself even if just for a few moments.

She hums softly with the song, head resting against yours and occasionally leaving a kiss or two on your hair. Her hands are against the small of your back, warm enough for you to feel it through your sweater.

"Marry me." She says it so casually, as if it's a sentence just like any other. Your feet come to a halt, moving your head so you can look her in the eye. You search for any kind of hesitation or regret, yet you only find tenderness and the same glimmer from before.

"I know this is not a lot," Emily reaches into her pocket, pulling out a velvet box. Inside there's a beautiful golden ring, a small gem adorning the middle. "but i don't think i can wait anymore. I know you're the one i want to spend my life with, i know you're the only one who would ever go through all of that for me and you have no idea how much i love you. Everyday i wake up next to you i feel incredibly lucky and i find myself dreaming about having a family with you. And most of all i dream about being your wife. Will you marry me?" She asks and you can feel the happy tears threatening the spill from your eyes.

"Yes!" You answer excitedly, grabbing her face to place multiple clumsy pecks on her lips. She pulls apart momentarily to encourage you to slip on the ring, beaming once it contrasts perfectly with your skin - even more than she had imagined.

"Ugh, i love you." You smile brightly, lips find hers once more, but this time with a shiny ring adorning your finger.

˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

a/n: had so much fun with this <33

love you,

cat 🤍

[planetkiimchi]

sixth time's the charm | w.jh

no. 1 of my 100 followers event (requested)

featuring: coworker!jun x gn!reader

word count: 8832 words

summary — your coworker jun is naturally friendly and a little chaotic, but he also mistakenly thinks you like his crush. this love rivalry persists despite the two of you being friends, at least until he realises that the one he likes is you.

author’s note: thank you to @fairyhaos for beta-ing this, your comments are so appreciated. especially knowing now that you have such high standards for fics, i’m so honoured to receive any sort of compliment from you <3 thank you ara for the request and i hope you enjoy!

Your first day of work was in January, at the tail end of winter. People were trading their thick winter coats for thinner wool sweaters and cotton hoodies, slowly switching back to sneakers instead of the chunky boots they donned in the winter.

The temperature was still cold in the mornings, especially when people were heading to work. The streets were filled with people walking briskly, as staying idle for too long would let the chill seep into one’s bones.

You were no different, a long coat wrapped tightly around your work attire, the most formal you could get. You cracked your knuckles nervously as you came to a hesitant stop in front of an office building, indistinguishable from the surrounding buildings save for the large “JH Corporations” displayed across the front.

Inhaling deeply, you stepped inside.

You were greeted by the warm air of the heated building, and you took in your surroundings as subtly as you could, taking small steps towards the reception desk while your gaze wandered about.

Everyone there seemed to be in a hurry, impatiently bustling past with briefcases, holding onto their laptop cases and thick folders. The constant clicking sound of high heels against the floor seemed to match your heart rate, going tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.

You made your way over to the reception desk.

“Good morning!” A cheery voice broke your train of thought, interrupting your anxiously racing thoughts and preventing you from spiralling.

Turning around to face the owner of the voice, you came face to face with a familiar face.

“Wen Junhui?”

The man in question grinned back at you. “Hi!”

So it was him. Junhui—”Call me Jun,” he’d said—had been there at your job interview, which had been done in a group, so both of you were probably starting at a similar level. Logically speaking, that day should also be his first day at work. However, unlike you, he looked a lot more at ease in this large building.

“Excuse me?” The receptionist tried to get your attention, and you blinked quickly before nodding.

“Yes, hi.”

You gave her your name and waited as she searched for your employee pass, before handing it to you, along with directions on how to get to your level.

You thanked her and turned to leave.

“I’m going to level three too, would you like me to show you there?”

Your heart, which had been beating painfully fast ever since you stepped foot into the building, slowed to a reasonable pace as you forced yourself to take a deep breath. Then, turning to face Jun, you smiled slightly.

“That would be great.”

Jun didn’t shut up the entire way to your desk. He looked tidy and well-kept, brown hair parted slightly off-centre, a tie around his neck. His smart black shoes clicked against the floor as he walked, and you noticed his fingernails were trimmed when he reached out to press the lift button.

“Y/n, right?” You nodded absently as Jun talked about this job, how his boss was rather friendly and how excited he was to be able to work in this team setting. Everyone was welcoming so far, and no one had belittled him as of yet.

During the elevator ride, you didn’t manage to get a single word in. Jun just kept on talking, somehow finding ways to fill the silence without you having to say a single thing. When he finally took a breath, you seized the opportunity to ask, “When did you start?”

“Last week! They asked me to come at the beginning of the new year, but I requested to start a week earlier instead, just after the winter solstice, so I could get acquainted a little earlier.”

Oh. That made sense. You briefly wondered why you hadn’t thought to do that yourself, stepping out of the elevator as the door opened onto the third floor.

You followed Jun through what felt like a winding maze of desks, all grey with some attempts at personalisation in the form of white mugs with “I ❤️ DAD” and “This is my fifth cup of coffee” printed across them, and cushions propped up on chairs for comfort.

“... And here’s your desk! Mine’s right across, so you can come over and ask me for help at any time. Just wave, and I’ll come over!” Jun smiled at you expectantly.

“Thanks?” you replied hesitantly.

“No problem!”

Smiling cheerily at you, Jun walked over and took a seat at his desk.

Breathe. You inhaled deeply, taking in your surroundings once more. This time, it felt a lot less scary. Each team had a semi-secluded area, with partitions sectioning off different teams, and your section was a little quiet but very conducive for working in.

The other people in the office had looked up briefly when you walked in, disrupted by Jun’s voice, waving politely at you before looking back down at their computers.

It didn’t seem like much, but you weren’t quite sure what you had been expecting in the first place. Setting your things down, you went over to find your team manager so you could officially start working.

—

Time passed too quickly. Soon enough, the project that the team had just undertaken was already almost half completed, and your working hours grew longer as the daylight stretched longer as well.

The sun set just after six, and you often got off work before then, so you would be home in time for dinner. Upon graduating from university, one of the first things you’d done was rent a house on the outskirts of the central business district.

It wasn’t the cheapest option, but luck was on your side, and the marketing job you had secured was enough to pay your rent.

Life wasn’t particularly luxurious; your flat was small and your meals were simple, but it was comfortable enough. On top of that, your transport fees were lower, since the office was located very close to where you lived.

That day, you were staying in the office a bit longer, staring blankly at the design drawn up on your computer and trying to figure out exactly what was off about it.

There was something about the design that didn’t work, and you intuitively knew that it had to do with the layout and the contrast in the colours of the background and the elements, but you couldn’t put your finger on what it was.

As the graphic designer on the marketing team, your workload was manageable, so this was your first time staying in the office past your stipulated working hours.

You rolled your neck around, hearing it crack, and fought the urge to rub your eyes. You turned the computer off and got up from your seat to take a bathroom break.

When you returned, there was a box of fried rice next to your keyboard.

Picking the box up, you looked around the section to see who had gotten the food. There were three people in the team still present; besides you and Jun, Yueyue was also working overtime that evening.

Yueyue had a reusable lunchbox by her side, and she took a mouthful of noodles into her mouth every once in a while, in between typing furiously on her keyboard.

Her clicks and the sound of her slurping the noodles were the only things disrupting the silence.

Jun was sitting directly opposite you, and he too had an open lunchbox beside him, along with a spoon, and he shovelled rice into his mouth every ten seconds or so. It was a bit strange that both of them had brought food from home, and yet there was takeout on your desk. It was especially strange because you knew you hadn’t ordered it.

As if sensing your confusion—or perhaps due to the fact that you had been standing in front of him for a good few minutes—Jun looked up.

He raised an eyebrow at you. “Are you planning to sit down soon? You’re kind of putting me off by just standing there.”

Oh. Embarrassed, you hurriedly sat down, but not before leaning over and asking, “Do you know who bought this?”, pointing at your own food.

“I did.” He looked back at his screen for a few moments, typed something out quickly, then moved his chair over so his view of you was no longer blocked by the screen.

“Minghao usually buys us food when we work overtime, but his mother’s health isn’t the best, so he took leave today to visit her in the hospital. Yueyue brings her own food, and I’ve started that habit too, but I noticed you hadn’t eaten so I got you something. I hope you don’t mind?”

You shook your head quickly. “No, I don’t. Thanks. I’ll pay you back, how much was it?”

Jun reached over to push your phone away. “It’s on me. Minghao even sent me money earlier on to make sure everyone in the team was fed, look.”

He showed you his screen, as if he felt the need to prove it to you, and you scanned Minghao’s texts.

Minghao (Team Manager): Make sure everyone eats well. Minghao (Team Manager): Tell them to go home before 7, it’s dark and cold outside, don’t want anyone falling sick. Minghao (Team Manager): Oh, also, tell Y/n to send me the draft of the advertisement by tonight. Minghao (Team Manager): Thanks.

“Say thank you to Minghao for me.”

Jun shrugged and put his phone away, “Already did.”

As you ate the fried rice, wrist cramping up from drawing the animations for the advertisement on your tablet, your heart felt extremely warm.

—

Becoming more comfortable with the members in your team also translated to becoming careless, it seemed.

One fine spring day, you awoke at eight-thirty to the sound of your ringtone blaring obnoxiously loudly in your ear.

"Please pick up, please pick up–"

"Hello?" you mumbled, voice a little raspy.

"Y/n! We have a meeting in an hour, where are you?"

Shit. You'd completely forgotten to set your alarm for that morning, having turned it off the day before for the Qingming Festival. You hadn't wanted it to ring while you were visiting the cemetery, which coincided with the time you normally woke up at.

To top it all off, after the long day, you'd had to take a long ride back to your flat from your hometown, which was a long way from Beijing.

You must have been so tired that night that you had forgotten to set your alarm.

"I'm still at home, is Minghao there?"

"Yes, and he's getting ready for the meeting already. He looks a bit pissed, you might want to hurry."

"Shit, yeah, okay. If he starts the meeting early, help me stall or come up with an excuse," you said.

Jun muttered something in acknowledgement.

"I'll hang up first, I've got to get ready and hopefully I'll reach on time."

"Hurry!" was the last word you heard Jun say before you hung up the call.

By some miracle, you ended up reaching the office 5 minutes before the meeting, wisps of hair falling into your eyes. You irritatedly pushed them away, taking the time to catch your breath as you turned your laptop on and tried to pull up your documents.

"Come into the meeting room now," Minghao ordered, and the team filed into the meeting room and took their respective seats.

You glared at the loading screen on your laptop, willing it to work more quickly. As Minghao said something about following the timeline and how the team was lagging behind and the client was beginning to get impatient, you did your best to listen and pull up the designs you'd done over the past couple of weeks.

However, luck was not on your side, because Minghao called upon you to present what you had done the moment he finished speaking.

You stood up hesitantly, eyes scanning your screen in a hurry, breathing still a little uneven. “Well…”

Jun let out a soft snort. You stole a glance at him, just in time to see him rolling his eyes before angling his laptop screen towards you.

“This is our advertisement video.”

Minghao took your cue to start playing the video, and you watched as your hard work came to life before your eyes. You’d watched it so many times, rewinding the animations over and over again until it was perfect, that it was no longer shocking to you how smooth the transitions were.

But seeing the video play in its entirety, not stopping every two seconds for you to fix something, you realised that you’d actually done well.

As the video came to an end, you launched into your spiel behind the technical aspect of the design elements, and Jun nodded attentively from his seat. Satisfied with your presentation, Minghao went on to the next person.

“Junhui, since you’re already prepared, tell us about the rest of the campaign and how you plan to manage the small budget we’re working with for this project.”

When Jun finished, Minghao raised an eyebrow, impressed. “Not bad, the two of you are a real match. Always good at thinking on your feet,” he said softly, just loud enough for the two of you to hear.

“A good match?” Jun fought to keep his volume down.

“I’m just saying, you’ve never called me when I was late.”

“Hao, when have you ever arrived any later than 8.30am?”

“It’s just a comparison.”

“I-” Jun threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. “We’ll talk about this later.”

Minghao shrugged and pointed at Jing Xuan, motioning for her to go next. You squinted at your team manager, then back at Jun, trying to figure out what their exchange could possibly have meant.

Yueyue went last, looking for you for help when she couldn’t recall the right word in Mandarin, and a couple of times you had to correct her pronunciation softly. She took it all in her stride, successfully completing her presentation of the segment she was in charge of.

Minghao ended the meeting with a short briefing on the development of the project and the client’s requirements, and gave updated instructions to each individual on the team.

Once he had finished speaking, the meeting was adjourned. Without hesitation, Jun grabbed Minghao’s hand and all but dragged him out of the meeting room, muttering something that sounded like “We seriously need to talk” as he strode away.

Curious, you did your best to subtly close your laptop and place it on your desk, before walking to the coffee lounge in what you hoped was an innocuous manner and casually inching closer towards the duo.

They were speaking in hushed tones, Jun’s brows furrowed and his tone of voice anxious, while Minghao was as relaxed as ever. In times like that, it was difficult to believe that Jun was a year older than Minghao.

You were a couple of years younger than Minghao, but you had changed jobs a few times, just like Jun, so Minghao was more senior than both of you.

However, Jun never really treated Minghao like a senior, although you could tell Minghao definitely treated Jun like a junior.

“What do you mean we’re a good match?” Jun hissed.

“I mean what I said,” Minghao replied, sipping his coffee.

“They like the girl I like, how could we be a good match?”

Too stunned to process Minghao’s reply, your mind blanked out as you heard Jun’s whispered words. In fact, you were lucky the cup in your hand didn’t shatter to the ground with how shocked you were feeling.

He liked Yueyue?

Yueyue’s English name was Luna, and she had joined the team at the same time that spring began. With her limited Mandarin, she struggled to communicate with the others, mostly electing to keep to herself and using Google Translate to send emails.

Having come from Singapore, your English was as good as Yueyue’s, and you were able to communicate effectively in Mandarin after your four years at university.

As such, for the time being, you basically acted as Yueyue’s translator, often helping her with her conversational Mandarin. Yueyue was a fast learner, and though sometimes she struggled with active recall, she was able to understand most conversations now without having to look the words up.

You hadn’t realised Jun liked her, but thinking back on it, you did remember Jun often looking at her while working, casting her glances when he thought no one else was looking. You recalled the way Jun hesitated before speaking to her, as if he had to gather his courage before speaking to her.

At the time, you’d simply thought it was because Jun’s English was extremely subpar, and the same could be said of Yueyue’s Mandarin, but now you knew it was more than that.

Even that time that Jun bought you dinner, you were fairly certain that he had gotten it for Yueyue, because it had come with a post-it note that was coming off the side, saying, “Enjoy your meal :)”. Jun must have been unsuccessful in removing it after he realised that Yueyue had brought her own food.

The puzzle pieces were all clicking in place, and your mouth invariably formed an ‘O’ shape as it all started to make sense.

Minghao elbowed Jun, jerking his head slightly in your direction. “Y/n’s staring.”

“Can you stop it, please, I—” Jun’s voice cut off as he turned to look at you. You were still deep in thought, and your unfocused gaze just happened to be facing Jun’s direction. “Oh.”

Minghao nodded. “Go on.” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “And remember what I said.”

Jun glared at him before standing up straight, leaving Minghao leaning against the counter with his mug of forgotten coffee, walking towards you.

He called your name, and you jerked your hand in surprise, spilling coffee on a stunned Jun.

He looked down at his white shirt in shock, frozen to the spot, and you covered your hand with your mouth. You hurriedly set the mug down, grabbing a bunch of tissue paper and pressing it against his shirt to dry it.

“I’m so sorry, you shocked me, I didn’t mean to stain your shirt. You can pass it to me, I’ll wash it, I’m really sorry—”

Jun called your name again, effectively stopping the flow of words that would have otherwise continued to stream from your mouth.

“Stop, it’s fine. It’s just a shirt, I can wash it myself.”

You opened your mouth in protest, and Jun’s eyebrow lifted ever so slightly. “Didn’t know this shirt mattered so much to you. If you want to wash it so badly, I’ll pass it to you after I’ve changed out of it.”

You could only stare in shock at his retreating back as he turned and left, mouth agape. What had Minghao said to him? It felt like the tectonic plates of your dynamics had shifted, but you wouldn’t quite be able to understand it until much, much later.

The first time.

There was a work party coming up, and you originally intended to ask Yueyue to go with you, if not as your date then as your friend.

Lo and behold, just as you opened your mouth to say “Yue”, Jun beat you to it.

“Y/n, would you do me a favour and be my work spouse for a night?” You furrowed your brows at his strange wording, glancing at Yueyue. The latter looked up, caught your eye, and shrugged helplessly.

“No,” you replied flatly. “Yueyue—”

“Pretty please?” Jun latched onto your wrist, tugging onto it like a little child would.

“No!” You pulled your hand away, shaking it in irritation. “Yueyue, will you please—” Before you could finish your sentence, Jun slapped his hand over your mouth, his other hand clutching your wrist again, preventing you from moving away or speaking.

When you finally struggled out of his grasp, you glared at him, beckoning him closer. As he leaned in, you stood on your tiptoes and hissed into his ear, “What are you doing?”

“I don’t want you to go to the party with Yueyue,” he said simply.

“Who I go with is none of your business.”

“Well, both you and Yueyue are my coworkers, so it kind of is.” Then, before you could reply, he said loudly, “Anyway, we’re going together and that’s the end of it. If any of you try to steal my plus-one, you’ll never hear the end of it from me.”

You whipped your head around to see Yueyue’s reaction, and saw her sinking into her chair, the smile on her face dissipating faster than you could blink. Jing Xuan hid her smile behind her hand, calming herself before removing her hand and continuing to work. Minghao had no visible reaction, but his deliberate ignorance was enough.

You were well and truly alone in this struggle with Jun. You took one glance at your gleeful colleague, sighing in defeat.

—

By the time the work party rolled around, it was already summer. You decided to pack your outfit, leaving it hanging by your desk throughout the workday. Sometime early in the afternoon, Jun got up from his seat, collected the suit he’d hung next to the coffee machine, and glanced at Yueyue.

She was too absorbed in her work to notice. Jun scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, and you subtly cleared your throat. “Yueyue,” you called softly.

She finally looked up, raising both her eyebrows at you. “Yes?”

You looked pointedly at Jun and jerked your head slightly in his direction. “He’s trying to talk to you.”

“Oh,” she replied, sounding surprised.

Jun smiled hesitantly at Yueyue, “Do you want to go get changed? Then we can take a taxi to the hotel together.” As he spoke, he moved his hands, pointing first at himself, then at Yueyue. His limbs felt longer than they usually seemed, and he looked like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with them.

Before Yueyue could reply, you cleared your throat again, causing both of them to turn towards you.

“Are you not inviting me to hitch a ride?”

Jun’s eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Then, he and Yueyue spoke at the same time:

“No.”

“Yes.”

The two glanced at each other, and turned back to you.

“Yes.”

“No.”

Jun caved first, hissing in irritation, saying, “Whatever. As long as Yueyue’s fine with it.”

The person in question smiled warmly at you, and nodded in reassurance. “Sure, you can come with us.”

As Yueyue stood up, you locked gazes with Jun, smiling triumphantly at him.

—

The ride there was tense. Not entirely because you’d figuratively shoved your way into the car, although you suspected that might be a big part of the reason. No, for some reason unbeknownst to you, the typically outspoken Jun had turned silent, nervously glancing at Yueyue from time to time.

Seated in the passenger seat, you couldn’t help but steal a glance at the two behind you from time to time, and yet nothing changed throughout the entire ride.

Jun kept looking down at his hands, playing with his fingers, and Yueyue stared out the window mindlessly.

You debated trying to strike up a conversation, but just as you opened your mouth to speak, the taxi came to a halt. Looking out the window, you noticed that the hotel that had been booked for this party was much, much fancier than you had imagined.

The imposing building stood apart from the plain buildings around it, the stairs leading up to the entrance all lit up. The evening had just begun, and the sun was beginning to set, and the lights drew attention to the hotel.

Inwardly, you sighed in relief that you had chosen one of the more elegant items of clothing in your wardrobe to wear that night, because you were sure that being underdressed would have ruined your whole night.

Too caught up in admiring the grandness of the hotel, you didn’t make a move to step out of the car until Jun opened the door for you, and you stepped out. It seemed only natural to take his hand, although the moment your hand was in Jun’s, you realised that it might be overstepping slightly.

Jun’s hand was warm, enveloping your smaller hand in it completely. Yueyue came to stand behind you, amazed by the scale of the event.

“Let’s go in,” Jun suggested, and you nodded dumbly, following him inside.

Seeing Minghao eased everyone’s nerves a little, and soon there was a small congregation of five near the entrance, all keeping a close watch on the rest of your colleagues.

Since you often came to work in a sectioned-off area, and only worked closely with your teammates, you didn’t recognise any of your other colleagues. However, you couldn’t say the same for Jun.

As an elaborately-dressed young man walked past you, Jun seemed to recognise him, waving hello. Minghao could see that Jun was itching to socialise, and urged the rest of you to find people to talk to as well, leaving with a reassuring smile and a pat on your back.

You stuck to Yueyue like glue, the two of you acting like outsiders in this unfamiliar environment that was far out of your comfort zone, until someone Yueyue knew walked by and struck up a conversation with her. Not wishing to be the third wheel, you watched them walk off, standing awkwardly by the side and wishing the time would pass faster.

Fortunately for you, a kind soul noticed you standing on your own and came over, casually asking for your name and which team you were in. The man, Kun, had a warm face and a comforting voice, easily calming you down.

Halfway through a rather engaging conversation about stocks, you felt the need to visit the restroom, and looked around for someone to help you hold your things.

You would have gone to one of your teammates, but Yueyue and Minghao were having a heated discussion with a group of unfamiliar people, and Jing Xuan was nowhere to be found. Of course, there was Jun, but he flitted from group to group without giving you a chance to catch up to him.

You excused yourself to go to the bathroom, clutching your purse. Before you could leave, Kun reached out and offered to help you hold your things, and you thanked him with an embarrassed smile.

When you came out of the bathroom, you were greeted by an unhappy Jun.

He was standing in the corridor in front of the bathroom, not even on his phone, simply holding your purse and staring at the doorway, waiting for you to emerge. 

You had been expecting to see Kun waiting there, prepared to thank him once more. Instead, the person awaiting you was Jun, and the lack of a smile on his face was disconcerting to say the least.

You couldn’t remember a time you hadn’t seen Jun smile. He had a pleasant disposition and a happy-go-lucky attitude, so seeing him with a poker face was a rare sight.

You reached to take your purse from him without a word, but his grasp on it only tightened as your fingers brushed against his.

“Why didn’t you come find me to help you hold your things?” he asked, volume soft but tone threatening.

You shrugged. “Kun offered to help me before I could go to find you.”

“We’re here together,” Jun insisted. “You’re acting like you hate me.”

You raised your eyebrows, slowly appraising him. “Oh, really? Funny, that’s exactly the same sentiment I received earlier, when you outright refused to let me take the same fucking taxi as you. Is being in my presence such a horrifying thought that you would refuse to take the same car as me after asking me to be your plus-one, deliberately preventing me from getting the date I wanted?”

Stunned, Jun’s grip on your purse loosened, and you shouldered your purse and turned to leave. He grabbed your wrist, and you whipped your head around to glare at him, causing him to immediately let go.

“I’m sorry.”

You stood there, not speaking, but the fact that you weren’t leaving was enough for Jun to continue, “I didn’t mean to upset you. Yes, I wanted to go with Yueyue alone, and yes, I ruined your chance to ask her, and yes, it’s hypocritical of me to expect you to act nicely towards me when I’ve been nothing but an asshole this evening.”

“You left the team first, so anxious to talk to that friend of yours that you didn’t even spare the rest of us a second glance,” you accused.

Jun shrugged his shoulders helplessly. “I’m sorry.”

You nodded curtly in acknowledgement, ready to leave, but Jun called out your name before you could take a single step.

“You can join me for the rest of the evening if you want. Since we’re supposed to be together for the night.”

You looked at him slowly, taking in his pose, rocking on his feet, thumbs stashed into his pockets. He looked distinctly uncomfortable, and some sadistic part of you felt glad you were making him feel that way.

After a long moment of deliberation, you nodded. “Sure.”

The second time.

Jun introduced you as his work spouse for the rest of the night. The first few times, you raised your eyebrows in shock, meeting his mischievous gaze, and his disarming grin told you to leave it be.

So you did, not even batting an eyelash when he proudly showed you off for the rest of the night, your heated conversation from earlier almost forgotten.

You supposed that was one of his charm points, that he didn’t hold grudges. Jun had a forgiving personality, and it made interacting with him comfortable and easy.

As the night passed, your eyelids started drooping, and it became increasingly difficult to pay attention to the conversation topic at hand. Bidding goodbye to a few of your colleagues, you took some time to stand by the side, hiding your yawn behind your hand.

“Tired?” Jun asked, accompanied by a soft laugh.

You nodded. “I think I’ll head home soon.”

“I’ll send you home.”

You cocked your head at him, then shook your head. “There’s no need, you should stay if you want to.”

At that, Jun scoffed, then shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I’d rather not. Besides, it’s not like I would understand what they’re saying without you to translate; their use of technical jargon is way out of my vocabulary range. This entire night, I’ve been piecing together the meaning of their words from your replies.”

You laughed to yourself. “Really?”

Jun nodded. “I’m serious. Anyway, it’s dark outside; you shouldn’t go home alone.”

The corners of your lips lifted, “Didn’t know Wen Junhui was such a gentleman.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

You elected to ignore that sentence, turning on your heel to leave, and Jun chased after you, matching your long strides. Outside, you hailed a car, and Jun rushed to open the door for you.

You hesitated just a second before stepping into the car. Earlier that evening, you’d assumed that Jun had opened the door for you out of formality, because Yueyue was present and he was getting into character for having to spend a night with you.

However, with a night so bleak and the dim glow of the streetlights barely lighting up the roads, there was no one to see his actions then, and everything he was doing was just between the two of you.

Perhaps he really was a gentleman, and it was out of habit that he opened the door for you. You wouldn’t know.

Because Jun was right. There was a lot you didn’t know about him.

The third time.

That incident remained at the back of your mind as concerns about the project wrapping up took priority, especially when finishing the tail-end of the promotions. You were often busy working, and had little time to spare to think about other things.

By then it was summer, and it often rained in the afternoons. Sometimes it only drizzled lightly, and sometimes the thunderstorms were so loud that you could feel your eardrums vibrating.

That day it started out drizzling lightly in the morning. At first, you thought nothing of it, expecting it to stop raining by evening. However, an hour or so before you got off work, it was still pouring outside. The rain didn’t seem like it will stop soon, and you sighed in resignation. You'd foolishly hoped that the rain would have stopped after pouring the whole afternoon, so you'd be able to get home without getting soaked.

However, you were almost about to leave, and yet the rain was still pouring ceaselessly down. You rummaged through your bag for an umbrella.

Even though your hands were occupied, something at the back of your mind told you that you'd forgotten to put the umbrella in your bag this morning. Your search proved futile, and you recalled seeing the umbrella resting on the shoe rack that morning, but you had no memory of putting it into your bag.

You ran through the options in your mind. You could make a dash for it—the building wasn’t too far away from the bus stop—but you didn’t particularly feel like taking the bus home while soaking wet. The other option was waiting it out, but you hadn’t had dinner yet and you were absolutely famished.

You inhaled through gritted teeth, mentally preparing yourself to run through the rain, when a voice cut through your thoughts.

"Are you walking to the bus stop?"

You locked eyes with Jun, who'd just asked the question, and nodded.

"I'm walking there too, shall we go together? We could share an umbrella," he said.

Oh. You felt a ripple of warmth spreading through your body. He'd noticed. You swallowed and nodded. "That would be great. Thanks."

To be honest, you weren’t sure what to think of the gesture. Jun was nicer to you lately, and whatever odd tension between the two of you that had laced your interactions had died down too. You still talked to Yueyue, but more for work than any other reason. Jun, too, seemed to be taking it easy, reducing his attempts at chasing her.

Jun stood up, closing his laptop, and you kept your things as well. He came over to you, umbrella in hand, which caused Minghao to look up from his seat.

“Leaving so early?” This sentence was directed at Jun.

“Yeah. Gotta send my work spouse home, they forgot to bring an umbrella.”

You rolled your eyes at the term, but Minghao didn’t even flinch. “Okay, don’t get too wet.”

Tilting his head, Jun gestured for you to follow him out.

It was a silent walk to the bus stop, both of you all too aware of your proximity to each other, trying not to step too far out of the umbrella for fear of getting soaked. The sky was dark, covered by clouds, and the floor was slippery, so you had to take great care not to slip.

Jun maintained a small gap between the two of you, tilting the umbrella slightly to your side, but when you finally reached the bus stop, both of you were dry.

“Thanks.”

Jun looked up from the umbrella, smirking when he saw the grudging expression on your face. “No problem.”

The fourth time.

When Minghao said you would be going on a trip together as a team, you weren’t expecting that to entail camping in the middle of the woods—”Nature reserve, Y/n, I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve said that already”—and definitely not when you realised you’d have to put up your tents by yourselves.

Not that you were incapable of putting up a tent, but you weren’t keen on the idea of sleeping without a mattress. With your terrible posture and the way you kicked in the night, you could already foresee the backache that would result from this wonderful idea.

At least it was summertime, so you wouldn’t have to worry so much about freezing to death. Minghao and Jun were sharing a tent, of course, because there had never been much to debate about that. Yueyue and Jingxuan were sharing the other 2-person tent, which meant you were left with the smallest tent to yourself. Fortunately, you didn’t mind.

Putting up the tents was a two-person job, and you were embarrassed to admit that you needed help doing it. Obviously, stubborn as you were, you’d tried to set it up by yourself, but trying to place the groundsheet on the ground with only two hands was difficult. You could only hold two corners at a time, and the material of the groundsheet made it such that it kept creasing in ways you didn’t expect, so after a few minutes of trying, you eventually gave up.

You helped Yueyue and Jingxuan fit the tent poles through the loops of the tent, the three of you cheering when the tent started to take shape. Once the tent and flysheet were secured, you asked them to help you set up your tent, only to realise Minghao was the only one setting up his and Jun’s tent. Jun was standing behind you, watching the three of you awkwardly, grinning crookedly at Yueyue when she turned to face him.

Rolling your eyes, you went over to help Minghao.

Minghao raised his eyebrows when you came over, starting to speak before your hands even touched the pegs.

“I’m extremely particular about these sorts of things, by the way. That’s why Jun’s not helping me. So if you do something that I don’t like, there’s a high chance I’ll just undo it and redo it myself.”

You shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

“Also, please put the pegs in well, because I’d prefer to not have to wake up in the middle of the night to find my entire tent blown away.”

You nodded. “Sure.”

After a moment of silence, you tugged at the loops at the bottom of the tent, wiggling the tent pegs deeper into the ground. You packed the soil into the holes you’d made, shaking the pegs to check that they were secure, and stood up with a triumphant smile.

Minghao made his rounds, adjusting the flysheet. Hands on his hips, he walked one round around the tent, inspecting every small bit, using his shoes to check that the pegs were secure. Satisfied, he looked to you with grudging approval.

“Not bad.”

You smiled to yourself, knowing that in Minghao’s dictionary, that was a high-level compliment. Turning back to your own tent, you noticed that Jun and Yueyue were almost done setting it up.

You would have gone over to help, but you didn’t want to interrupt. You turned back to Minghao, who was already climbing into his tent and unpacking his luggage.

“Need help?” you asked Yueyue, deliberately choosing to use English because you knew Jun wouldn’t understand.

She shook her head. “We’re good, I think.”

You glanced at Jun, who was biting his lip in concentration as he slotted the bendy tent pole ends into each other until the tent began to take shape.

“Jun? I can take over from here, you should go ahead and unpack.”

Jun’s head whipped up, and he glared at you for a moment before realising Yueyue was watching him. “I don’t have much to unpack,” he replied simply.

“You sure? I saw how big your luggage is.”

“It’s fine, I can help Yueyue for a little longer.”

“Actually…” The two of you turned your attention to Yueyue, who continued, “I think I need to unpack. I’ll leave the two of you to it?”

You smiled warmly at her. “Go ahead.”

“Yue…” Jun’s voice trailed off as she walked away, glaring at you fiercely.

You pretended not to notice as you focused only on getting your tent up, and once it was set up, you finally paid attention to the way Jun was staring at you. He stood on his tiptoes to tie the knot that secured the tent poles to the flysheet, then stalked over to you.

“Y/n, what the fuck—” The moment the curse word left his lips, Jun looked almost apologetic. He pressed his lips together, silent for a moment, before deciding to continue. “Why would you purposely ask her to leave? We were doing fine, we’re literally helping you set up your tent, I don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what? I just reminded her that she still had to unpack.”

“It won’t take that long, don’t play dumb. It’s still bright, and we both know Minghao always gives enough time for everything. It wouldn’t kill her to start unpacking later.”

You shrugged, your gaze slanting towards the other tent. “Tell her that yourself, it’s not like I told her to leave.”

“Cut the crap, Y/n. Why are you acting like this? I thought we were friends.”

“Why am I sabotaging your attempts to hit on her, you mean? I'm not trying to. I’d just prefer it if you didn’t do it while setting up my tent.”

“I-” Just then, Minghao tapped both of your shoulders, jerking his head towards the centre of all the tents. He looked pointedly at Jun for a few moments, then left without saying anything.

“I’m going to set up a fire,” Jun said. “We’ll talk about this later.”

“Maybe,” you muttered unhappily under your breath.

—

After dinner, which was cooked over the fire—definitely an experience—the five of you sat by the fire, admiring the orange-red sunset. As the sun disappeared on the horizon, the temperature grew colder, and everyone subconsciously shifted their chairs closer to the crackling fire, jackets wrapped tightly around themselves as they extended their fingers towards the glowing flame.

When all the conversation topics had been exhausted, so was Jingxuan, as evidenced by her sudden yawn. Claiming that it was time for her to turn in, she got up. Not wanting to leave her alone, Yueyue took her leave as well. That left you, Minghao and Jun by the fire, moving your chairs so each had a warm spot.

“Y/n?” You glanced at Jun, bracing yourself for the argument you felt was sure to follow. You were naturally argumentative, there was no denying it, and though Jun wasn’t one to start an argument, he always wanted to win them.

You jerked your head in acknowledgement, waiting for him to continue.

“Are we friends?”

You frowned. That wasn’t what you’d been expecting at all. “Yes?” you replied tentatively, unsure where this was heading. 

“Do you like Yueyue?”

You almost laughed. “No.” You didn’t and would never like her that way, probably. She was nice enough, but not exactly your type. You weren’t sure where Jun had got that notion from, but he seemed to be clinging on to that thought since you first joined the company all of 8 months before.

“Then what’s your deal? It feels like you’re doing this on purpose, trying to keep me away from her. If you like her, and she likes you back, fine. I’ll stop pursuing her. But you don’t even like her, so I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”

You pursed your lips together, trying to identify the feelings messing up your head, like water after a dirty paintbrush was dipped into it. 

Jun looked at you earnestly, eyes wide as he awaited your reply. After a moment of silence, you shrugged helplessly. “I can’t say what it is. But you’re right, I’m being unreasonable. So, how about this: I’ll leave the two of you be if you don’t flirt right in front of my face, deal?”

Jun stuck out his hand, adding, “You’re still my work spouse, right?”

Taking his hand, you nodded. “Sure.”

Just then, an ear-piercing shriek sounded in the otherwise quiet camping place, and the three of you gathered around the fire stood up simultaneously. Minghao was the fastest to get to Jingxuan and Yueyue’s tent, and the two of them ran out of the tent, Jingxuan’s face white with fear.

“There was a rat!” she cried out. “I swear it bit my fucking toe.”

Upon hearing this, Jun looked rather faint. You moved to help Jingxuan get her shoes, bringing her to the campfire to take a seat first. Yueyue helped Jun to sit down, and you left the three of them to get jackets for Yueyue and Jingxuan.

Meanwhile, Minghao took his phone and turned the flashlight on, inspecting the tent and the area around it.

He came back a couple of minutes later, having ascertained that the rat was gone, but by then everyone had grown comfortable and too tired to move. Jingxuan and Jun were fast asleep, heads propped up on their fists, and you watched Yueyue carefully.

Her hands were shoved into the depths of her pockets, her lips forming a pout absentmindedly, hair tucked behind her ears.

Yueyue tapped Jun’s shoulder to rouse him, and the two of you guided your half-asleep colleagues into their tents before everyone finally fell asleep.

The fifth time.

By then it was autumn, and September was drawing to a close. It was an ordinary work day, a couple of hours before lunch, and Jun suddenly stood up, rummaged through his bag, before procuring a card from his wallet and stalking over to Minghao’s desk.

“You busy?” Minghao nodded without looking up. Jun placed the card on his desk, saying, “I’m using this.” Minghao barely spared the card a second glance before saving his progress and getting up from his seat, gesturing for Jun to follow.

The two of them entered the meeting room, your gaze following them curiously. You met Jingxuan’s eyes, both of you just as confused as each other.

You stood up, walking over to Minghao’s desk, examining the card left behind on the desk. It said, in Minghao’s neat handwriting, “15 minutes of my time. Use whenever.”

You furrowed your brows, placing the card carefully back to where it had been before, heading back to your seat.

Jun and Minghao exited the room not long after, Jun looking conflicted. You followed him with your eyes as subtly as you could, watching as Minghao sat in his seat, looking at the card on the table and furrowing his brows. Looking up, he met your gaze, tilting his head.

Shit. Had you not put the card back properly? How did Minghao know? But to your surprise, your team manager didn’t speak, smirking before returning the card to Jun.

“Team drinks later after work,” he announced, not as a question. The other members of the team looked up briefly, nodded, then returned to their work. You continued to watch Jun sit at his desk, bury his head in his hands, then mess up his hair in frustration.

Then, as if nothing had happened, he opened his laptop and began to work.

—

That evening, the five of you sat at the front of the bar, talking between drinks. After Jingxuan’s story about her landlord drastically inflating the rent when he found out that Jingxuan and her roommate were splitting the costs, you recalled an incident you had just had.

A couple of weeks ago, you’d seen a stray cat on the streets, and decided to take it in. You’d since taken it to the vet for a proper check-up, and had made an appointment for it to get spayed. The only issue was that your landlord didn’t allow tenants to keep pets, and you weren’t sure you could keep it a secret when she came over to check.

“Come stay with me,” Jun said. His tone was teasing, but when you looked at him, his gaze seemed earnest, burning into you with his sincerity. The way he said it, it wasn’t really a question.

“I mean it. If you need a place to stay, come stay with me.”

Normally you would tease him for how serious he was being, but something about the fraught silence and the surrounding atmosphere stopped you from making fun of him. Instead, you watched him carefully, never breaking eye contact, and nodded slowly.

“Okay.”

“Lighten up, my work spouse. You’re acting like we haven’t known each other for a year already,” he said, already back to his old self. You only nodded in reply.

Bonus: the time where he leaves out the “work”.

When you first joined the company, little did you expect that three years down the road, you’d end up waking up next to the man you’d met at your interview, the one with brown hair and dark eyes and a sharp smile.

It had started out with him liking your friend, with tensions here and there due to both of your stubborn tendencies. Your personalities clashed often, resulting in disagreements that turned everyone’s moods sour.

However, you were still mature adults, and after a period of working together, you learned to be more accommodating of his differing opinions and habits and vice versa. Through the shared bonding over working overtime and walking home in the rain, you grew from mere colleagues into friends, growing close enough to talk about more than just the latest project you were working on.

Of course, growing from friends into lovers was slightly more complicated, and you had Minghao to thank for helping you along.

You never realised, but Minghao was the first to notice that you were starting to like Jun. If it weren’t for Minghao subtly helping Jun to grow closer to you, the rivalry may have extended for a far longer period of time than just a few months. Especially with the misguided notion that you liked his crush, Jun would not have been as willing to be your friend without Minghao’s constant nudging.

Almost a year after you had met, before getting drinks together and Jun’s fateful statement that led to the two of you moving in together, Jun had realised that he liked you.

He liked you, not Yueyue. The realisation had been startling, and in a daze, he’d used the card Minghao had given him for his birthday to ask for Minghao’s attention. In those 15 minutes in the meeting room, Jun had voiced out his concerns and desperately asked Minghao for some form of advice.

Jun later told you that Minghao’s answer then had been a simple, “I think you like Y/n.”

Having been in denial for so long, it took Jun a while to realise that his feelings for Yueyue had slowly dissipated over time, and that the lingering sentiments were only platonic, whereas his feelings for you had only grown.

Minghao had offered a simple solution to ease Jun’s heavy heart—drinks with the team. Unbeknownst to him, this action had led to Jun’s implied confession and indirectly caused the two of you to finally get together.

Jun snuggled into your embrace, interrupting your thoughts, nuzzling the underside of your chin and burying his face in the crook of your neck.

”Good morning,” you whispered softly, fingers running through his soft hair. He looked up at you briefly, as if checking over every feature of your face, before nodding in satisfaction and shutting his eyes again.

A peaceful smile came over his face, the blissful expression on his face causing you to smile as well.

”You should marry me,” he mumbled, hands tightening around your waist.

”That’s sudden. Where’s the ring?” You teased.

”Haven’t bought it yet,” he frowned. “But if you don’t say yes, then I wouldn’t have to return it.”

You let out a little laugh. Practical as always. “And if I say yes?”

Eyes still closed, he reached over you to the bedside table, fingertips trailing to the first drawer. He pulled it open, and you turned your head to look. There, sitting on top of your favourite books was a nondescript black velvet box. “Pass it to me,” he said, blinking his eyes slowly open.

You passed it to him without a word and he scrambled to sit up in the bed, both knees tucked under him in a kneeling fashion, opening the box to reveal a ring with a silver band, with a small jewel atop it.

”You said you don’t like fancy things, right?”

Struck speechless, you didn’t protest as he gently took your left hand, slipping the ring onto your fourth finger. He pulled your head in towards his chest, kissing the top of your head.

Just like that, Jun’s proposal to you was as simple and direct as the time when he asked you to move in, less of a question than a request, one that you would gladly agree to.

[nhlclover]

i wish you would | rutger mcgroarty

summary: when you reunite with your ex-boyfriend at a party both of your self-control is tested.

request: yes / no

warnings: mentions of alcohol, making out

a/n: based on ‘i wish you would’ by taylor swift. literally been planning a fic based on this song for forever and i finally wrote it so yay me!

word count: 1.3k

“This feels like an excessive amount of booze.” You say, dropping the last bag on the counter.

“Well, there is an excessive amount of people coming.” Your friend Kelsey says.

“You know what? Birthdays get special privileges.” You smile at her. She steps towards you, wrapping her arms around you and squeezing you tightly.

She unravels her arms from around you, leaning on the countertop. She has an anxious look on her face looking at you. “What?” you ask.

“What?” She says back.

“Your face is all screwed up tightly. You look like you want to say something.” You tell her.

She lets out a huff of air. “I invited Rutger.”

Your breath catches in your throat. Kelsey chews on her lip as she awaits your answer.

“That’s fine.” You say.

Kelsey straightens up. “Really?” She asks.

“Yeah I mean you’re still good friends, it would be unfair to make you not invite him.” You explain.

“Y/n you’re truly wonderful.” She says, wrapping her arms around you and squeezing tightly.

You hug her back, wondering how the evening was about to go. It was hard having your ex-boyfriend still in the same friend group as you. You were friends before you started dating, having met through mutual friends.

Your relationship was a strong and passionate one, which is likely what contributed to you guys breaking up. If you’re being honest, you’re not quite sure why you and Rutger broke up. You remember the fight, being mad at Rutger and hanging up the phone on him. But you don’t know why you fought.

You were the one that said the words “we’re over” before ending the call. It hurt when Rutger didn’t even try to call back, so you fell asleep with anger in your heart. It only took a couple of days for the anger to dissipate and the mourning of your relationship to kick in. You missed him too much to be mad anymore.

There were several unsent texts you’d drafted outlining all the things you’d felt had gone unsaid on your part. However, you never sent any of them.

You tried to force the thought of Rutger out of your mind throughout the rest of the night, as well as attempt to avoid him. It worked for the majority of the night until most of the party gathered in the living room to play a drinking game.

While you sat out, wanting to be sober to keep an eye on your friends, you spotted your ex-boyfriend across the room nursing a Bud Light.

The two of you locked eyes instantly. Your instinct was to look away but you couldn’t find yourself doing so. You kept a locked gaze for a moment before he finally tore his eyes away to talk to a friend. The moment had your heart pounding.

You met eyes a few other times throughout the night but you were able to force yourself to look away those times.

It was weird; all you wanted was to have Rutgers eyes back in your life, but every time you met them a sense of panic would erupt within. You weren’t sure why. On one hand it makes you want to run and hide but it also makes you want to turn right back around.

2 AM was when people started to file out of the house or retire to one of the bedrooms in Kelsey’s house. Looking around the living room at the abundance of empty cans, cups, and bottles, you began to start tidying your friend's house.

“Hey, need some help?”

You spin around to face the voice, seeing Rutger is standing in the doorway,

“Uhm, no, no. That’s alright, I’m good, I’ve got it. It’s honestly not that much to do, I can handle it.” You ramble.

Rutger chuckles, stepping towards you. “Nice to see you still do that rambling thing when you get nervous.”

He picks a trash bag from the box, filling it with cups from around the room. You stare at him momentarily before resuming cleaning. The pair of you clean, the silence only being broken with the sound of clinking bottles.

“How’ve you been?” Rutger asks.

“F-fine. I’ve been good.” You reply. “How about you?”

“I’ve been good.” He says. “I haven’t seen you at any of the hangouts or anything.”

“Uh yeah, just been busy.” You lie. You’d been purposefully not attending anything your friends planned if you knew Rutger was going to be there. You didn’t know what you would do if you saw him. Now, being forced to be alone in a room with him, you were panicking slightly.

So, the two of you clean in silence, only quiet noises coming from the two of you. There’s still a bit of comfort you find in being in Rutgers' presence despite your nerves in seeing him.

“Y’know, the other day I was in your neighborhood and I accidentally drove down your street. Just out of habit.” Rutger tells you. “It was weird to keep driving past.”

There’s a pang in your chest hearing what Rutger says. You remember a couple of days ago, sitting in the window seat of your bedroom. It was 2 AM when a pair of headlights flashed in your window. You peeled back the curtains, catching a glimpse of the car.

Your heart did a little flip-flop when you thought it was Rutger’s car. You brushed it off as every white car you saw recently made you think it was his.

“Just driving past your house made some memories come back,” Rutger says, a little chuckle coming out. “Like when we accidentally crashed that wedding at the golf course.”

You laugh remembering how you wound up joining the wedding, stealing a bottle of wine, and running when the maid of honour caught the two of you. Overwhelming memories of your relationship come back as you’re reminded of the days and nights you spent together.

“I’m sorry for how things ended.” You say, dropping empty bottles into the recycling bin. The clink of the glass cuts the abrupt silence. You look over to Rutger standing over the coffee table staring down at the wood.

“Me too.” He says. He goes back to picking up the cups and bottles, dropping them in the bin by your feet. You look up at him, his dark blonde hair falling over his forehead.

“I miss you.” You say quickly.

“I thought you hated me.” Rutger says in a low voice. He eyes your face, pausing briefly on your lips.

“I could never hate you.” You sigh. “I honestly wish I could go back and not hang up on you when we broke up. I actually don’t even remember why I was mad at you anymore! I just… all I know is I miss you.”

“Really?” Rutger says.

“I miss you, Rut. I’ve missed you ever since. I’ve spent hours late at night hoping, praying that you’d come back and knock on my door. That I would have you back in my arms because that’s the only thing I need.”

Rutger suddenly swoops down, connecting your lips. His hands are on your hips lifting you slightly to match his height. Your hands are up in his hair, tugging at the roots, something you know he likes.

He groans into the kiss, which itself becomes rougher. Rutger pulls you off the ground, your legs wrapping around his waist. He carries you over to the couch, laying you down.

His lips are detached from yours but he keeps you in his grasp.

“All I wanted to do was call you back. Do you know how many times I drove down your street, itching to pull into your driveway again?” Rutger asks.

“Why didn’t you?” You question.

“I thought you wouldn’t take me back.” He says.

“I’ll always take you back.”

His lips are back on yours, the mess you were once cleaning left forgotten as you picked things up where they left off.

[thegettingbyp2]

Jess Mariano request: Reader works with Jess at the publishing house in Philly and has feelings for him (she hasn’t told him though). She sees him and Rory at the open house and seeing the way Rory treats him reader lets Jess know how she feels about him (and wherever it goes from there) basically I need a Jess fix it because Rory fucks him over that night haha

I'd Never Do That to You

A/N: This is my first Jess fic and I loved writing it! If you have any other Jess requests, don't hesitate to send them in!

Buy me a coffee :) Gilmore Girls Rewatch Patreon Exclusive

You were watching Jess out the corner of your eye as you began tidying up after the open house. You’d developed a crush on him not long after he moved to Philly and started working at the publishing house with you. The two of you had quickly become friends and he told you everything about the time he spent living in a little town called Stars Hollow.

You tried to busy yourself when you saw him sitting to the side with a girl that he’d been with during the open house and you couldn’t help but notice how close they were sitting. You looked away fully when you saw him lean in to kiss her but quickly grew concerned when you heard his voice rising and the girl quickly leaving.

‘That Rory?’ you asked, lightly when he moved to help you tidy up. From the stories that he’d told you, you were 99% percent sure that the girl was Rory Gilmore and it bothered you how hung up he was over her because, from what you heard, she was quick to get rid of him the second he did something that she didn’t approve of.

‘Yup,’ he replied bluntly, the set of his jaw making it clear that he didn’t want to talk about it.

‘You okay?’

‘Yup.’

‘I hate this!’ you blurted out, causing Jess’s head to snap up to look at you, surprise written across his face.

‘Hate what?’

‘This!’ you replied, putting the book down in your hand a little more forcefully than necessary. ‘The way that Rory girl was treating you all night! She was flirting with you and then the second you try to get closer to her, she runs away because she’s still with this other guy but she knows that you’re always going to be there waiting for her! You don’t deserve to be treated like that, I’d never do that to you!’

You realised what you said and stopped talking immediately, looking down at your feet before you nervously glanced back up at Jess to see him looking at you with a mix of shock and something you couldn’t describe playing on his face. ‘What did you just say?’ he asked quietly before clearing his throat.

‘I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me,’ you started talking quickly, trying to backtrack until Jess gripped your wrist, anchoring you as he spun you around to face him.

‘(Y/N), stop, calm down. What did you just say to me?’

‘I’d never do that to you,’ you whispered as you looked at him.

‘Never do what?’

‘I’d never lead you on like that. Never let you think that we have a chance and then run off because of some other guy right at the last minute. And I don’t want you to think that I’d do that to you because I do like you, I have since you started working here, I just never said anything because you seemed so hung up on Rory. And I know that you’re not over her and that - ’

Your voice was cut off by the soft press of Jess’s lips against your own. As soon as you realised what was happening, you let yourself relax into the kiss which only made Jess wrap his arms around you and pull you into him, the slight stubble growing on his face tickling your cheeks as his tongue slipped between your lips, drawing a soft whine from your throat that had Jess smirking against your lips.

Breaking the kiss, it was your turn to look at him in shock. ‘What just happened?’

Jess let out a laugh that you didn’t hear too often and you found that the sound warmed your heart. He reached down and twisted his fingers in yours, pulling up to press a kiss to the back of your hand. ‘You know you ramble when you get nervous? I like you too,’ he said, shaking your hands slightly and bending down to look into your eyes to make sure that you were believing what he was saying. ‘I just didn’t say anything because we work together and I didn’t want to make it weird between us.’

‘But what about everything with Rory?’

‘I tried to convince myself that I was still in love with Rory to distract myself from going after you. I can’t lie, I was relieved that she ran off because the thought of kissing her in front of you almost broke my heart.’

‘Why didn’t you just tell me?’ you exclaimed, slapping his arm.

‘Ow! I just told you I didn’t want to make things weird!’

‘Well, you wouldn’t have!’

‘I know that now!’

The two of you stopped talking for a moment, just looking at each other before you both started laughing simultaneously. Once you both calmed down a little, Jess pulled you closer by his grip on your hands, pressing his forehead to yours.

‘So what do you say? You gonna let me take you on a date?’

You nodded quickly, leaning up to peck his lips. ‘I have been waiting for the past two years after all.’

[aperrywilliams]

blurb on what spencer would do to make reader feel better after an argument!!! maybe he made her cry???

He feels so bad about it! But passive-aggressive Spencer did it again.

--------

Over the years Spencer has been able to control his passive-aggressive attitude when he is mad. But this time he failed. He not only yelled at her but also said hurtful words he didn't mean it. He realized how deeply he fucked it up when the tears started to roll down her cheeks. He hates to see her cry. And knowing it was his fault only worsen the feeling.

Spencer tried to apologize immediately, but she cut him off.

“Get out!”

Then she grabbed his coat, threw it at him, and ushered him out of their shared apartment.

Now what? The old Spencer would sulk in his self-pity and stick his head under the ground. The old Spencer would feel like the right punishment is to endure a breakup for his own incompetence.

This Spencer, although, knows he needs to do amends. He loves her too much to hurt her like that and not do anything to fix it.

The next morning, she is getting out of the shower when she hears two knocks on the door. Seeing who it is, there is no one. But at the foot of the door, there is a paper bag with a note:

‘I know I fucked it up, and I’m sorry. You have the right to be upset and not talk to me, but this coffee and cheesecake are not to blame.’

She shook her head, seeing inside the bag: there were her favorite coffee and cheesecake. Of course, he knew her favorites. She was still mad at him and didn't want to talk, but the gesture was something.

That morning she couldn't concentrate at work, replaying the fight from the night before, the anger mixed with the sadness. She wanted to punch him, but also to hold him so badly.

Her phone chimed announcing a text message.

Spencer: ‘I know what I said was out of the line. Believe me, I didn't mean it. But I said it and I’m so sorry for hurting you. I hate myself for that. I would love to talk to you to explain myself, but I don’t want to pressure you if you don’t want it. Just know I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I love you.’

During the afternoon he sent one or two more texts. He didn't want to overwhelm her but let her know he was there and he was sorry.

The last one - almost at the end of the work day - was a voice message.

‘I’m in the apartment right now. If you don’t want to see me I could go. Or I can do dinner if you are up to that. Whatever works for you. I love you.’

She didn't reply to any of the other messages, but she did to this one with a text: ‘You can stay. Dinner would be good.’

What she didn't know was Spencer went the extra mile with dinner. Tablecloth, a homemade meal, and even dessert. He tidied the place, did the dishes and everything.

When she entered the apartment she was really surprised. Spencer was relieved of could see her even if he didn't apologize properly yet.

“Spencer-“ she started to say, but couldn’t finish, a lump forming in her throat.

“I know. I know. This is not the one percent of the things I should do to compensate for what I said and the way I hurt you. And I know I can’t take it back, but if there is something I could do right now it's showing that I care. I really care and I would do anything to get your trust back. I love you. So much. I want to be better, I really do. I want to be the man you deserve. Let me try again, please?”

She knew it was genuine. She had known Spencer for years by now, and he was telling the truth. Of course, she could forgive him, but they know there was still a rough patch they needed to overcome. But something in Spencer’s behavior told her he really mean it: he cares.

[lunajay33]

New World🍂Part 2!

Summary: You grew up in a crappy town with one friend who kept you going, everything started to fall into place, that’s until the world ended and the dead ruled the world

Pt.1

•Masterlist•

It’s been about a week since we got to the quarry and everything has been going smoothly…..well as smoothly as things could go with Merle around, he teased both Daryl and I every night that he stayed in the tent but in his gross ways that he talks

But I tried to put it to the side because I had my best friend with me and that’s all I could ask for

Today was a new day and we were running low on supplies so some people decided to go on a run to the city

“Hey y/n do you wanna come in the run with us?” Glenn asked as he came over to the table Daryl and I were sitting at

“She ain’ goin no where” Daryl answered before I got the chance

“I could help though”

“I ain’ risking your life out there, I need ya here where it’s safe, Merle can go in yer place” he said trying to plead with me

“Wow baby brother tryin to feed me to the walkers” Merle laughed as he came and sat next to me throwing his arm around my shoulder

Merle always did this, he thought it got a role out of Daryl, plus it made me damn uncomfortable

“Merle get your hands off me” I said swatting his arm away

“Yer a damn brat we should’ve left ya to the walkers” Daryl gave him a look that I’m glad I’ve never gotten, it honestly gave me the chills

“Fine I’ll go, only cause I gotta find me some more pills” he laughed before he left to get his shit together

Glenn had long go left knowing how Merle was with any person that wasn’t white here

“So ummm what are you gonna do today?” I asked feeling awkward now

“Gonna head out hunting, try and find somethin, might take awhile” he said as he cleaned his arrows

“Please be safe out there”

“Always am” he grunted but I saw a lift at his lips making me smile

~~~~~~~~~~

The day went on as we all carried on with our chores, I missed Daryl it’s only been a few hours but he was my biggest constant now and the fear of him alone placed a heavy weigh in my chest, but I know he’s knows how to handle himself out there……but still

Some of the girls and I were hanging clothes and it helped clear my mind

“I miss my straightener” Andrea said

“I miss my kitchen, making home made dinners every night” Lori smiled reminiscing

“…….i miss my vibrator” I stated as all the girls laughed

“Me too” Andrea and Carol said in unison making us all cry laughing now

“Y/n why do you need a vibrator when you got that Dixon basically sowed to your hip” Andrea said

“I…..I don’t know what you’re talking about” I would’ve said he was just my best friend like before but that’s not how it felt to me anymore

“Oh come on sweetie we all see how you both ogle at eachother when you think no one else sees, or when you’re doing chores he’s looking at you like you hung the moon in the sky, it’s adorable” Lori stated making me blush

“Don’t tell him please, I don’t want to ruin anything between us” I admitted

“Ooooooo I told you” Amy said pushing Andrea’s arm

“I guess I’ve felt it deep down for a long time, I mean he’s the whole package but, I’m just plain ol’ me, he could have anyone he wanted” I said clipping on of his shirts to the line

“You’re hilarious, if anything he doesn’t deserve you, girl you’re hot” Amy laughed

“Sure whatever, just everyone better keep their mouths shut”

I loved talking with the girls it always felt like we were back in the normal world, when all we had to worry about was paying bills

As we were tidying up I decided to take a nap, I couldn’t get much sleep last night with Merle’s snoring, so I told the girls and headed to my tent

~~~~~~~~

I woke up abruptly to a ruckus outside so I quickly unzipped the tent and ran out with my knife Daryl gave me, tight in hand

“YER TELLING ME YOU LEFT MY BROTHER ON THE ROOF” Daryl was back, and fuming

“He was a danger to us all he would’ve gotten us killed” this new guy said

Daryl was about to jump this guy when Shane got him in a choke hold, I ran over and pushed Shane off him

“What the hell is wrong with you, don’t EVER touch him like that again” I yelled at Shane

I knew Daryl past, hell I was the one usually to help get him through it and I know he didn’t like others touching him like that

I kneeled infront of Daryl and held his shoulder

“Are you okay” I asked worried

“ ‘m fine” he said swatting my hand away and standing up, it hurt but I understood

“Rick is going back to get him aren’t you” Lori said seeming angry

“Ya, I’ll get a group and we’ll head back for him, I won’t leave him out exposed, well he’s four tomorrow morning”

“Fine” Daryl groaned as he left out into the woods

I quickly followed him seeing him walk back and forth in the same spot I could tell he was fuming, he had a hard time controlling his temper sometimes

“Daryl I’m sorry” I said stopping him from his wandering

“Damn guy just shows up and now my brothers gone, the hell is wrong with him”

“We will find him, eventually you guys will find each other, you always do” I said pushing his hair back out of his face

He was quiet for some time trying to calm down I assume

“Sorry ‘bout before, I shouldn’ have smacked yer had away like that”

“Daryl it fine I just want you to be okay” I smiled

“It’s not”

“Come we need to get some food in ya and we should go down to the quarry and wash first it’s been a while” I took his hand and led him down the trail to the crystal blue water

“Do you wanna go first?” I asked

“Nah, go ahead” he motioned to the water as he sat on the rocky shore

He looked away as I stripped down and glided into the warm water, I was covered up to my shoulders when he looked back but this was clear water I’m sure he saw a little something but…I wasn’t apposed to it

“Me and the girls were talking earlier” I said as I ran my hand over my dirty skin

“Ya? ‘Bout what?”

“What we miss, some said straighteners, cooking in a nice kitchen, what do you miss Daryl?” I cupped my hands and let the water run through my hair

“Mm…probably our dinners, and the drives we’d take on Merle’s bike at night”

I remember those nights so fondly, wrapping my arms around his waist and holding him close as my hair flew behind me, the smell of him surrounding me, the cigarette and woodsy smell I adored so much

“I miss it too”

“What was yer answer to the girls” and my cheeks instantly exploded with heat

“Ummm nothing” I squeaked out

Which he obviously could tell I was lying

“Really? You miss nothing at all” he smirked his conniving smirk he knows I loath

“Maybe a few things”

“What do I gotta do fer ya to tell me?”

“Hmmm the only way I tell you is if you don’t laugh”

“Fine, now tell me”

God this was so embarrassing

“I said I missed…..my vibrator” I squeaked out the last part feeling my heart in my throat

I heard him choke obviously shocked by my response

“I told you not to make fun of me”

“I ain’ just can’t believe ya really used those thangs” he said trying to compose himself

“I’m a woman Daryl I have needs”

“What ‘bout them guys you talked too?”

“They never got past the part of getting to know each other, too many pricks in our town”

“Ya I get that, best ya don’t waist her time, ya deserve better”

I cleared my throat down with this embarrassing conversation

“Umm I’m done, your turn”

~~~~~~~~

(I’m gonna change from using *i* to *you* instead it’s just easier to write that way!)

After we were both washed up we headed back to came, ate our food and went to the tent

“I’ll take Merle’s bag tonight” Daryl said

“Oh okay” we changed and laid down

An hour went by and you couldn’t sleep, it was freezing without Daryl, you rolled over and whispered

“Daryl? Are you still awake?”

“Mmm” he grunted from an answer

“Can you come back to our sleeping bag, it’s too cold without you” you whined desperate for some warmth

You couldn’t see it but his eyes were wide open from shock, he didn’t say anything but he came back over and climbed in behind you

“Thanks”

“ ‘course” he whispered before his snores started to lull you to sleep

~~~~~~~

The next day went on and they were gone looking for Merle for a long time, and it was worrying you, the sun was now setting and your belly felt like a knot of stress

As everyone was sitting around the fire Amy got up to use the washroom, a few minutes later she was screaming, you turned around and walkers were surrounding the camp coming from everywhere

You took your knife and jammed it into the walkers that came near you, until a big one stumbled over and fell ontop of you, you struggled until an arrow shot it dead, well…. forever dead now

It was pulled off of you and Daryl picked you up and held you against his chest, you wrapped you arms around him feeling lucky to have him back and safe

“Are ya okay?” He asked looking you over for bites

“I’m okay, are you okay D?”

“Fine, Merle got away, knew he’d be comin back to take revenge”

Everything died down, the camp lost a lot of people, when the sun rises we buried our dead and burned the walkers

“Where do we go now, it’s not safe here anymore” Lori asked the group but mostly Rick and Shane

“We head to the CDC that’s the only place I can think will still be running”

So after everyone packed up we got in our cars and were off, thankfully it was just Daryl and you in his truck, giving you both some much needed peace

“Do you think we’ll be safe at the CDC?” you asked looking over at him

“We best be, we ain’ got much more places to go”

You could see the worry in his body tension, and the way he talked, sure he was a grump with everyone else but not you, never you

“We’ll find something Daryl, as long as we have each other” he looked at you and looked back at the road nodding

We’d be okay…….right?

—///—///—///—///—///—///—

Part.3<-

Need some ideas for this story please put you suggestions in the comments

Taglist: @thebadbatch2022 @writer-ann-artist @deansapplepie @ghostboneswrites

[hoedamn-eron]

baby, please - part 4

You were just coming down with something, that was all. The flu, food poisoning...or something...

Warnings: Throwing up, so emetophobia warning. Like one or two mentions of drinking alcohol. Mentions of failed protection. Spot the accidental FNAF reference. Proofread, again, lazily. Word count: 4,479 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

These are your texts. These are Craig's/Tinder's texts.

Part 3 ● Series Masterlist ● Part 5

Santiago was gone by the time you woke up the day after your date. You hadn’t expected him to be there, at all. You’d have been more surprised if he had stayed for breakfast.

He at least tidied up after himself, putting back the plant pot he had knocked over, although it looked like he had just shoved the plant back in with the way it was tilted on an angle. You snorted before grabbing the pot, quickly fixing it up and giving your poor peace lily some water.

You’d had fun last night. Even though you’d both agreed that this was probably not going to lead to anything else and was a one-time deal, you would probably meet up with Santi again if the opportunity arose. He was a good laugh, and the perfect gentleman, even if he did knock over your plant.

Not to mention he was insanely good looking and gave you the best orgasms of your life.

Giggling at the memories of last night, you made yourself some coffee, intending to catch up on a few emails as you made your breakfast. Sundays had always been your day to clean and tidy up your apartment, usually to feel fresh and organised for the week ahead. You had no plans to leave today; you’ll prepare some stuff for work in the afternoon, so you had a head start when you go in on Monday, but your plan was to lounge around and watch Netflix.

But first you needed to shower, because you had all kinds of funk going on.

Emily cornered you the minute she stepped into the office on Monday. She demanded you tell her how well your date went with Santi since he didn’t ‘give anything up all weekend’.

You shrugged at her. “It was fun, we had a good time.”

Emily waited for you to say more, but when she was met with silence, she waved her hands at you frantically. “Is that it?”

You snorted. “I don’t know what you want me to say, we went out, we agreed we weren’t looking for anything serious, and that was that.”

“So my match making didn’t work? You went out, ‘had a good time’, and nothing came from it?”

“Let’s be honest, Emily, I’m probably never going to see Santi again.”

One week

The launch was weeks away, and your week was filled with meetings, and looking into getting new clients on board. You had tried reassuring the other teams in your office that there will be potential but some of the more difficult members of your office didn’t want to listen to you. They had already started headhunting.

It had put you in a bad mood that your co-worker’s didn’t seem to have any faith in you, despite your reputation and how long you had been there. You knew what you were doing, you weren’t an idiot. You studied for four years to get where you were today. By midday, you had already plugged in your earphones, asserting that no-one talks to you for the rest of the day.

As it turned out, it was another late lunch day for you, you sitting yourself down to eat when everyone was packing up to leave. It was Friday, and everyone was chatting about their weekend plans. You had had plans with Beth but she had cancelled earlier that morning due to a ‘wedding emergency’. She hadn’t elaborated and you hadn’t asked, just sent her your love and help if she needed anything.

You relax your shoulders, almost groaning at the ache in them. There was a lot going on, and you hadn’t had the chance to unwind at all. Emily had been pestering you again about Santi. You told her that you just weren’t interested in anything more, and neither was he. If she thought there was someone else you should meet, then sure, you would give it a go, but she didn’t seem to understand that you had both wanted something casual.

Also, you really needed to get your AC fixed. It was getting warmer as the summer was approaching, and you couldn’t keep going the way you were. You told yourself you will be at home next weekend and get your AC fixed. You made a mental note to look up electricians when you get home.

Two weeks

God you were tired. And moody. Your period was due in a few days, so it must have been that. You better check your supplies for when you go to the store tomorrow. Not only that, but work was running you ragged, and it was really taking it out of you, and the hot weather was not helping. Thank God it was the weekend, and you were finally getting your AC looked at.

You were thinking about your date with Santiago and decided that you were going to download Tinder again. You had fun with Santi, so why couldn’t you have fun like that again? It didn’t have to be anything long term, but if you happened to meet someone who wanted a little more, you would give it a go. You were open to anything in the end.

You were scrolling left and right through Tinder when the electrician arrived. He had lots of good reviews on Google, and he seemed really reliable. You had contacted him as soon as you could, and he replied within an hour. He turned up when he said he would, and he’d even fixed your AC an hour after arriving.

As you paid him and thanked him profusely as he left, a notification went off on your phone. It was a match with a guy called Craig, and he’d already messaged you. You grinned and snorted at the cheesy pick-up line.

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Wow. Think I might need some nachos for all that cheese.

I’m sorry. My buddy and I have a bet going on to see who would get a response from the worst pick up lines and you just won me $50 so thank you!

Glad I could help. Was that the only reason you swiped right?

No, you’re genuinely beautiful. The bet was just a bonus.

You raise your eyebrow and grin.

Well, aren’t you just a charmer?

I aim to please. So what is it you do for a living?

You talked well into the afternoon; Craig was in fact charming, and a sweetheart. And he was a fan of cheesy pick-up lines, and not just for bets. You gave him your number later in the afternoon, and promptly forgot about Tinder.

Three weeks

You were late.

For work and your period.

But it was fine, your body was never like clockwork. Sometimes you were late and sometimes you weren’t. There wasn’t any reason to worry, it was only a few days. It was probably from the adrenaline of the product launch.

What you were going to worry about was the fact that traffic was ten times worse than it usually was and you were absolutely about to get a severe warning from your boss if you didn’t start moving soon. The launch was tonight, and you had so many things to still finalise. You sensed you were going to be spending your day in the office going at 100 miles an hour.

You called Emily to tell her to get started without you, that you had all the faith in the world that your team could make the right decisions and hold for the fort until you got there. At least then no-one would be behind and on schedule.

You made it into the building ten minutes late.

“You’re late,” Harriet, your boss, muttered to you with her arms folded across her chest as you practically run into your workspace.

“Yeah, sorry, traffic was terrible. Emily, where are we up to?” you ask, throwing your bag and jacket on your chair.

“Uh…” Emily read through her notes, her brow furrowed before nodding. “We are good to go on the slideshows, the banners, and the drink display. We’re still waiting on the DJ and the food itself is fine, it just the waiting staff - ”

“The waiting staff? They confirmed weeks ago!”

“The flu has been going round and they’re trying to replace the ones they have off.”

You let out a groan of frustration before taking Emily’s notes from her. “You get in touch with the DJ, I’ll sort out the servers. Anything else?”

“Yeah, the mechanic for the wraps on the cars have sent over their invoice,” Emily bit her lip. “I don’t think they’re sending them out until it’s paid.”

“Send it over to accounting, let the client know, and get on it ASAP. I can’t believe this is all happening on launch day!” you snap, already punching in the catering company’s number to ask them for an update.

Turns out, half of their workforce was out of commission because they had been hit with the flu and it had spread like wildfire. You tried not to lose your temper, it wasn’t their fault, and it wouldn’t be your company that was affected by it either. You told them you understood, that if they could send whoever they could for the event, that would be great.

You slammed the phone down and searched up any temp agencies that may have had any servers available. You contacted a fair few, leaving messages and sending emails, you could do nothing but wait and move on to something else that required your immediate attention. Of course, the client had some last-minute changes to the flyers that were also finalised weeks ago and were sent to print last week. You had wanted to put your foot down on that one, but queried with the printer company anyway, to see if they could print out over five hundred flyers and have them ready for collection by that afternoon.

By some small miracle, they said they could for an extra cost and if you sent over the prints in an hour.

You got on the phone with the client and made the adjustments then and there. With the completed flyers accepted and checked off, you sent them over to the printing office with minutes to spare.

Then one of the temp agencies came back to you to say they did have some spare servers and they could work that evening. You thank whatever God is up there that someone was on your side that day!

You send an update in the office team chat, where Emily also confirmed the DJ is already on the way from Orlando. His gig that morning had ran over and he hadn’t been able to confirm back to Emily’s email regarding the launch, but he was now on his way.

You sighed, closing your eyes and sitting back in your chair, rubbing at the headache in the middle of your forehead. You needed a drink.

“We did it!” cried Emily. “We fixed the problems!”

“Only just,” you muttered, your eyes still closed. “I could do with more servers.”

By the end of the day, another catering company managed to send over a few more servers. You sent the invoices over to accounting, the last of your jobs for the day over.

You made it home with less than an hour to get ready for the event. You were feeling a little woozy, probably from the mess that was today, and how you hadn’t really eaten. You make yourself a quick dinner, just some spaghetti in a tomato sauce, and shower while the sauce was cooking.

Once you were ready, and looking fabulous, you left your apartment, not before you sent a quick photo of yourself to your friends, sending over ‘Final night! 🎉’. You were praised with congratulations and love hearts from your best friends.

You even got a text from Craig, which caused you to smile.

Well done, superstar! Let’s celebrate together soon.

You sent him a quick text back thanking him and telling him you’d definitely take him up on his offer as a notification for your Uber came through.

Making your way into the large venue, Emily was already shoving a drink of champagne in your hands. “We did it! We worked our asses off and nearly crashed and burned, but we did it!”

You give her a large smile, and cheersed her own champagne glass before taking a gulp. You grimaced at the taste. “We spent all that money on marketing, but couldn’t afford decent champagne?”

Emily pulled a face as she rolled her eyes. “Ugh, I know. It’s awful, isn’t it? I told Harriet it was worth buying the better stuff, but no.”

You frowned before placing the champagne on a table, intending to leave it there. You took a deep breath, your stomach doing somersaults. The spaghetti you made earlier wasn’t sitting well, and the champagne had really turned your stomach.

It was probably the bad champagne.

The head of the sport’s drink company made his way up to the stage and tapped into the microphone to gain everyone’s attention. “Hello everyone! It’s amazing to see you all tonight for the launch of our product…”

You zoned out, trying to focus on breathing. You did not feel good, and as the crowd went silent to listen to the ‘big boss’, you tried your best to listen, but you couldn’t from the ringing in your ears. You can feel the beads of sweat forming on your forehead as you turn to Emily, not really looking at her as you discreetly excuse yourself. Panic sets in as you realise you can't hold it in any longer. You rush towards the nearest restroom, desperately hoping you make it in time.

Your heart pounds in your chest, and you can hear the distant hum of the speech fading away as you step into the bathroom. You're grateful that it's empty, providing you with a moment of privacy. You lock yourself inside a cubicle and drop to your knees, gripping the cold porcelain toilet bowl. As you lean over, Emily’s voice echoes through the empty bathroom. Figures she followed you, noticing your sudden discomfort. You felt the embarrassment flow through your body, but you know that she's only there to lend a helping hand, if you needed it.

The wave of nausea intensifies, and you barely have time to pull your hair back before a rush of the earlier spaghetti emits from within you. The taste is bitter and acrid, burning your throat as it leaves your body. Then you hear a knock on the door, followed by Emily’s gentle voice, muffled by the bathroom's walls. She asks if you're alright, if there's anything she can do to help.

You manage to compose yourself enough to respond, your voice shaky and weak. "I...I think I'll be okay," you say, your words interrupted by a sudden gag. "Sorry, just...just give me a minute."

She doesn't leave, though. Instead, she waits outside your stall. Her presence makes you feel even more embarrassed at this unexpected moment of vulnerability. You wanted to tell her to go back to the party, to not worry about you, that you’ll make your way back in a moment, but words escape you when you needed them the most.

As the nausea subsides, replaced by a lingering queasiness, you take a deep breath and rise to your feet. You grab some toilet roll, dabbing your mouth before throwing it in the toilet. You flush it, feeling as though the moment has finally passed and it was over. Slowly, you unlock the door and step out, finding Emily waiting for you with a concerned expression.

You avert your gaze and walk past her, washing your hands.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her eyes filled with empathy. “Do you want some water?”

“I’ll get it, thanks Emily.”

You clear your throat as you shake your hands of excess water before grabbing a few paper towels. You dry your hands and throw them away, before turning to Emily. You couldn’t find the right words, so with a weak smile, you both return to the event.

Four Weeks

“Just take a pregnancy test,” Courtney said, shrugging. “I’m shocked you haven’t yet, honestly.”

Now that you suddenly gained an awful lot of free time as the launch was over, you and Courtney arranged to meet up a week after. Your newest clients were more relaxed, really only happy with the updates to their social media, and a few print outs every now and then. So this gave you the perfect opportunity to gain some advice about the awful ‘case of the flu’ you’d been complaining about all week.

You’d been talking about it since you puked at the launch (and pretty much every day since). And you were constantly tired, and hungry. And just a ball of emotion. You’d thought about the other explanation, obviously, but you can’t be pregnant. You used protection each time. You couldn’t be.

You still decided to skip on the wine with your meal.

“Don’t you think I’m overthinking it, just a bit?” you ask, almost rolling your eyes. “It’s not weird for someone to sometimes be late on their period.”

“And to throw up at their important work event,” Courtney said, raising an eyebrow at you and throwing you a pointed look. “Then every day afterwards. Did you not use protection?”

You wanted to shout at her. She’s talking to you like you’re an irresponsible teenager, and not a woman who was nearing thirty. “Of course, I did.”

Courtney stared at you with a stern look on her face. “So rule it out then, what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that it’s impossible for me to be pregnant because I always use protection, so there must be something wrong that’s causing this.”

“Yeah, probably a foetus,” muttered Courtney sarcastically. “All condoms have a 2% fail rate.”

You groaned, burying your head in your hands. You had to admit, it was a bit weird, and it was the only logical explanation at this point. The ‘flu’ symptoms weren’t wearing off. You were only digging yourself a deeper hole if you didn’t approach it now. “What do I do?”

“Whose would it be?”

You peek over your fingertips at your friend, who was raising an eyebrow at you. You had already thought about this since the last person you slept with was - “Santiago. The ex-army guy from a few weeks ago.”

“Not this doctor guy you’ve been talking to?”

“Craig? No. We haven’t even met yet. We have a date next week.”

“Do you think that Santiago lied about using condoms?”

“No, I…” you grimace, your cheeks warming. “I watched him put them on and throw them in the trash.”

Courtney shrugged. “Well then…I guess you’ll just have to pee on a stick and find out.”

You sigh, before excusing yourself to go to the bathroom and throw up. Again.

Five Weeks

You’d put it off long enough. You were very late for your period, the symptoms hadn’t subsided, and you couldn’t avoid it anymore. You had to take a pregnancy test.

You had cancelled your date with Craig, apologising profusely. You came up with the excuse of the flu and he was very understanding but you noticed he didn’t mention rescheduling. You felt slightly disappointed, but it was fine. You had other things to worry about.

You made your way to the nearest CVS, taking a few deep breaths to calm your racing heart before walking inside, straight to the family planning aisle. Your eyes widened at the brands. Which ones were most reliable? Why are they so expensive? Aren’t babies expensive enough? And why so many different brands? Don’t they all do the same thing?

You would ask Gabrielle, but you didn’t want to bother her with something like this.

You bite your lip as you walk up and down the aisle. ClearBlue is trustworthy, wasn’t it? And it was a well-known brand. And you were sure they had digital tests as well as regular tests. But you know that Clinical Guard is good too. And First Response. Or should you check –

"Are you okay, sweetheart?“

You jump at the sudden interruption, turning to look at the older woman who was wearing a pharmacy coat, her auburn hair pulled back in a bun as her green eyes looked at you a little concerned. You blink before shaking your head quickly and gave the woman a small smile. "Sorry. I'm...which brand would you recommend?"

The woman looked at the pregnancy tests before letting out a hum. "If you want my honest opinion, they all are the same, just have different names. But it's up to you."

Biting your inner lip in slight frustration, you sigh through your nose, looking back at the tests before grabbing a ‘triple check’ ClearBlue box, and a First Response box. You turn to the woman, who smiled at you before leading you to the counter. You pay the (more than you had planned to pay) fees for the tests. The pharmacist looked at you as she tilled in the amount. "You were stood there for a while before I came over. I thought there was something wrong."

You let out a nervous laugh, shrugging a shoulder. "Well...I mean, I could be pregnant, so..."

"We've all been there," replied the pharmacist. "Whatever the result, I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Thanks," you replied, grabbing the plastic bag and leaving the store, making your way back to her apartment quickly, almost feeling the anxiousness of being found buying pregnancy tests (as if you weren’t an independent, fully grown adult).

It seemed to take longer to get back to your apartment than it did to get to the CVS. You eventually made it back, closing and relocking your apartment door as you practically ripped the tests from the plastic bag, speed walking to the bathroom, and reading the instructions on the First Response tests.

"You can't pee on a stick wrong, right?" you muttered to yourself, before shaking your head. "Well, Cassie in high school managed to do it wrong. Remove cap, pee on test, pointing down then replace cap and lay on flat surface for three minutes. I can do that. Two lines means congrats, you're pregnant!"

So that’s exactly what you did. Once placing the cap back on and leaving the test on the side of the sink, you washed her hands, watching the test with a concerned look on your face before catching your reflection in the mirror before scowling. You point to your reflection, calling your name sternly. "Come on. Staring at it isn't going to make it go any quicker." you momentarily froze before shaking your head.

Stop talking to yourself.

You took a deep breath, knowing it had been longer than the three minutes it suggested on the box. You let the breath go before closing your eyes tightly then opening them, lifting the test to eyeline.

Two pink lines stare back at you, almost mockingly.

You felt sick again. And dizzy. You were going to pass out. You need to sit down. You feel yourself grab onto the edge of the counter, slowly lowering yourself to the floor, still staring at the positive test. No matter how long you stared, the test didn't change. Those two pink lines were still as vibrant as they were a few minutes ago.

What do you do? What are you supposed to tell Santi? It was a one-night stand, you used protection! How did this happen?

You could feel yourself panicking, becoming breathless. You drop the test on the floor, your heart pounding loudly in your ears as you stumbled your way into your bedroom and to your bedside drawer, digging around for the condom box. They must be a defective batch. There was no way –

You felt your blood run cold. Expired.

You, again, felt like you were going to pass out. How did you not know? Why didn’t you check the expiration date sooner? You felt tears flood your eyes as you angrily threw the box into the trash. What we’re you going to do now? You can’t have a baby. You had a tiny, one-bedroom apartment! You had just situated yourself in your career! And you were pretty sure Santi didn’t want kids. You would be alone, with a child.

You didn't sleep well that night, if at all. Your mind was going one hundred miles a minute, going through all the aspects that you currently had going on and how you would accommodate for a baby, if you were pregnant. You would have to find a new place, big enough for two people, if not more. That was another thing. Would Santi even want to be involved? You hadn’t even spoken since the date, you might not even need to tell him.

You shake the thought away. Of course you need to tell him.

You took a second test as soon when you woke up, and it did come out positive. You waited until after you had breakfast and showered and watched a little morning TV before taking another one. You ended up throwing up your breakfast into the toilet. It was positive, again.

It was late afternoon, after hours of pacing and weighing the options when you scrolled for Santi’s number. You had taken yet another test, just to be sure (the result was no different than the first three you took), and had promptly thrown up again, into your toilet. Your thumb hovered over the call button, hesitating. What if he doesn’t answer? What if he blocked your number after your date? You had no intention of speaking to each other again, what if he just ignored you? Would he think you wanted another date?

No, you couldn’t let these fears take over. He deserved to know. And if you couldn’t contact him, you could always ask Emily to pass the message along that you needed to speak to him.

You shiver. You hoped it didn’t come to that.

You press the call button before you psych yourself out more, placing the phone to your ear. The ringing twisted your stomach with nerves. This wasn’t even the hard part. You just had to ask him to talk, to meet you for coffee or something. It’ll be casual, as casual as it can be telling a one night stand you were pregnant. Oh shit, you were going to be sick –

“Hello?”

Your breathing hitched at the sound of Santiago’s voice. You take a deep breath before releasing it. There was no turning back now. “Hey…it’s me.”

“Hey,” he replies, muttering your name. “How are you? Wasn’t expecting to hear from you.”

“Er, yeah. Just…listen, we need to talk.”

[knotwerk]

holy shit i fucking love editing. (remind me i said that in two weeks.) 

i’m working on the proper hydration series finale aka PH6. i finished writing the first draft on 4/6/24, clocking in at 85k words. and then i sat on it for a few days before rereading it, did an extremely cursory once-over edit, and sent it off to my first reader & og beta @demolitionwoman-blog (CHEERS!!!). she started working on the beta, and by the time she hit chapter 3, she made the observation that the next step in the editing process for this might not be a typical beta read, but a structure/development read, and maybe a reverse outline would be a good next step. 

and i was like, i have never heard of a reverse outline. like, i have never heard of most things, really; i just started writing fiction in fucking august 2022 and am having a FUCKING BALL learning by doing. so i googled reverse outline, read the top three hits lol, and was like OH FUCK YES. 

because i do not Outline-outline when i write. all respect to those who do!!!!!, but i just Can Not. i have tried, and i get both daunted and bored, and that combo is like fucking kryptonite to my brain. for a longer piece (or a piece that doesn’t just burst out of my fingertips in response to a gifset or bts drop or tweet or gc comment 😅), i do make a sort of vibes outline. like, i open a fresh doc and splort down all the themey ideas i’m able to put words to at that point, and i make notes on whatever beats have already formed in my head, but it’s loose and sketchy at best. and then i write and see what happens as the story unfolds, and i go back to that notes doc to sort of talk to myself about it, to update the vibe outline as i get further in my draft, etc. 

but PH6 is the longest & most complex thing i’ve written yet, so by the time i got to the end of the first draft—by the time i’d put the whole story into words—i was like, oh my god, what is this. like, has this done the thing i wanted to do, per my vibe outline, and also, what did it actually do, and is it legible (whatever that means; like far be it from me to tell the reader what they should get out of something, but, generally speaking, is it cohesive.). now that i have told the story, like… what the fuck is the story about please, and does it "work." 

so i “finished” my reverse outline yesterday and omfg it’s helping so much and it’s SO EXCITING!!!! LIKE, THIS IS HELPING ME WRAP MY MIND AROUND THE THING I DID, SO I AM BETTER ABLE TO SEE WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO!!!! AND I CAN WORK WITH THAT!!!!!

it’s like i had a bunch of kittens scrambling around in my brain and while i was writing i was like 'oh i love these kittens so much, and i really hope this story herds these kittens effectively so they slow down just enough that people can really see their cute little faces (including me, i am people)' and then i finished the first draft and was like 'ahhh did the story herd the kittens??? i can't tell, they're still moving too fast in my brain' and then the reverse outline showed up and was like I COME BEARING TUNA AND FIFTEEN CARDBOARD BOXES and now i can see the kittens better. 

and then! i slept on it last night, and this morning my brain was like, “oh, here, why don’t i just efficiently articulate the vibes and arrange them in a tidy visual diagram that reveals how they all flow through the story for you?” WHEE!!

and then i got so excited that i had to put it down and write all this instead of working on it further 

(this, which could probably use its own reverse outline lmao)

like, i’m reading Mary Ruefle’s Madness, Rack, and Honey, which is a book of collected lectures that i cannot stop screaming about and that slaps so hard i keep having to throw it across the room, and just the other day i read, in the chapter “On Secrets,” 

I used to think I wrote because there was something I wanted to say. Then I thought, “I will continue to write because I have not yet said what I wanted to say”; but I know now I continue to write because I have not yet heard what I have been listening to.

and i think the reverse outline is helping me hear it a little better, and that is fucking exciting.

[fanficshiddles]

Irresistible, One Shot

This was a tough one! I hope you like it and hope I did it justice. mrslaufeyson002 submitted: If you are still accepting requests I was wondering about Loki and the characters name be Kiara but Kiara is autistic (idk if it’s appropriate to involve high functioning…idk it’s very difficult to describe since they classify all types of autism as just autism nowadays…even as an autistic person I have difficulty explaining it all). What I want though for the story is like it’s Kiara’s first time and Loki’s very considerate about her feelings and the fact that she’s autistic. If you want to add any kinks that can be your choice since I’m sure I’m already making it difficult adding autism into the character lol. I really love your work and if you have any questions pm me. Also one last request for Kiara is she be small like five foot lmao.

-

Loki smiled softly at Kiara as she shyly walked into the bedroom in the new sexy lingerie she had bought especially for this night.

Loki was sitting on the end of the bed in just his leather trousers, he reached a hand out towards her and she took it without hesitation. She trusted him so much, but she was still nervous about tonight.

They’d talked about it a lot during their time together as a couple. Loki knew how much she wanted it, but with her autism it had made her hesitant for multiple reasons. But Loki was in no rush and made it clear to her that he wasn’t, which had helped hugely.

Loki pulled her over between his legs and she draped her arms around his neck, she was smiling shyly and blushing as he slid his hands down her sides and gripped her hips.

‘Remember, if you feel you can’t use your words, tap me. Ok?’ Loki reached up and cupped her cheek with a warm, large palm.

Kiara nodded in response.

‘I’ve got a towel laid down for us, condom at the ready too.’ Loki grinned.

‘You’ve thought of everything.’ She said quietly with a giggle.

‘Of course. I know you don’t like mess, so we will keep it to a minimum.’ The God chuckled and pressed his forehead against hers, helping to calm her down.

Kiara loved skin on skin contact, she craved it. Especially from Loki, it always calmed her. If she was feeling anxious, she would reach for him every time. Just feeling his hands on her in some way.

But they had discovered in their time together that while she liked kissing him on the lips, she didn’t enjoy open mouth kissing. It freaked her out, the sharing of saliva and tongues touching like that, she just couldn’t cope with it. She had been upset and worried about not being able to do that for Loki, but he’d assured her it wasn’t an issue at all.

He had a feeling that bodily fluids leaking everywhere might make her uncomfortable too, hence why he planned for the towel underneath them. And use of a condom to try and keep as tidy as possible for her.

Loki slid his hands firmly up her back, making her skin break out in goosebumps from his touch. He pressed his lips against hers, keeping them there for a moment as he began taking off her lingerie.

‘So beautiful.’ He hummed as he tugged her knickers down her legs and he kissed the tip of her nose, then her forehead, making her giggle. She stepped out of her knickers and tried not to crumble to dust with how shy she felt. But Loki carefully lifted her up as he stood and he turned them around so he could lay her down on the bed and lean over the top of her.

Loki gently kissed her neck as he slipped his hand down between her legs. ‘Remember, if you feel uncomfortable about anything at any time, just let me know.’

‘I will.’ Kiara squeaked with a nod.

He smirked against her neck when he smoothed his fingers through her folds and found her starting to get aroused already.

‘Oh, petal. You’re already getting wet for me. Am I really that irresistible?’ He teased.

Kiara giggled and put her arms around his neck. ‘You know you are.’ She then let out a whimper as he took his time circling over her clit.

‘I’m looking forward to hearing more noises like that.’ He growled and his thumb took over teasing her clit so he could carefully test pushing a finger into her. And it went surprisingly smoothly.

His heart felt like it was going to burst, knowing she felt so relaxed and comfortable with him. That she trusted him so much.

Loki took his time fingering her, he couldn’t resist teasing her too. Working her up nicely and then when she was close to cumming, he backed off. Making her whine and squirm in need.

He chuckled and nuzzled her cheek. ‘Patience, love.’

‘You know I don’t have any patience!’ Kiara whined and slid her hands around him to stroke his muscular back.

‘That’s what makes this fun.’ He teased and growled against her neck as he stroked over her clit for a little longer, but not too fast or firmly so she couldn’t reach orgasm.

Kiara tried to get him back as she reached one hand down between them and started palming at his cock, making him groan and harden in his trousers.

‘Are you… Are you going to take off your trousers?’ She asked shyly after a whimper with the way he dipped his head down to suck at her nipples, surprising her a bit with how much she liked the feeling.

‘Do you want me to?’

‘Well, can’t really have sex with them on. Can we?’ She teased.

Loki chuckled and cupped her chin as he kissed her on the lips. ‘Touche.’

He reluctantly pulled away from her and stood up, but still on the bed just over her. He began humming a silly tune and attempted to do a strip tease for her, even crouching down to thrust his bulge at her face, making her laugh hysterically. He wanted to keep things light and goofy for her.

When he pulled his trousers off, he spun them around a bit and tossed them across the room, they landed on the dresser. She continued giggling as Loki lay down over the top of her again, she could feel his hard cock pressing against her abdomen.

Loki cupped her cheek and kissed her on the lips gently as he shifted himself between her legs and positioned himself at her entrance. He rubbed the tip up and down, making her gasp when he stroked over her clit.

‘Are you ready, sweetheart?’ Loki asked softly, nuzzling against her neck.

Kiara nodded, her heart was pounding in excitement and a little nerves too, she hoped she didn’t do anything wrong.

‘Are you sure?’ Loki asked as he ran his thumb along her lower lip.

‘I am.’ She nodded again.

Loki took great care with her, he took his time and slowly pushed into her while rubbing her clit, to keep everything as wet and easy as possible for her. He had to take deep breaths himself as she was so tight, slowly enveloping his cock, squeezing hard. It was difficult for him to keep slow and gentle.

She began a series of little pleasurable whimpers and moans, that was like music to his ears. He kept checking her face for any sign of discomfort or pain, but all he saw was pleasure.

‘Please… go faster.’ She whined once she had adjusted well to him. But she felt like she needed more.

‘Needy little thing, aren’t you?’ He teased and flicked her nipples, sending pleasure right through her body.

The way her body clenched around him, let Loki know that she enjoyed it when he talked like that. So he started whispering dirty words to her while he rocked into her, getting a little faster and harder like she wanted.

‘Loki… I… I… need to…’

‘Go on, let yourself go. Cum for me.’ He growled.

And cum she did. Loki was close too, but that’s when he realised he’d forgotten to put on the condom. So caught up in the moment.

‘Ah, fuck.’ He grunted. ‘Forgot condom.’

‘Just… do it inside me.’ Kiara blurted out, panting still from her orgasm. She was super sensitive still, but the way Loki was still rocking into her was dragging it out.

‘Are you sure?’ Loki panted, unable to hold off for much longer. He had thought about pulling out and using the towel, but the thought of staying inside her warmth if she wanted him too was far too appealing.

‘Please.’ She whined. ‘I… I’ve always wanted to feel it from you… Like I’m yours.’ She admitted to him.

He was slightly surprised at her admission, but glad she was being open with him. And using her words too, which he knew she would’ve found difficult. But being wrapped up in the moment had helped her to admit one of her kinks, as her body was singing high in pleasure.

‘You’ve always been mine, petal. And you always will be.’ He growled possessively and kissed her neck as he came deep into her.

[ask-agent-rapzutin-vodello]

[Promt suggestion] Milla walks in on raz and lili making out and she gives a very embarrassing talk with raz.

Timeline: Near future. Raz and Lili are both 15 years old.

It was a pretty quiet Saturday afternoon in the Vodello-Nein household. Sasha was in his office, fixing up some overdue paperwork and Milla hummed a song as she went around the house picking up laundry as she went. She hadn’t heard her son in almost an hour now. Last she saw him, he ran past her saying something about his plans, but since she was busy and a bit distracted, the only thing she managed to pick up was ‘-with Lili in-‘. So she figured he was hanging out with his girlfriend, and perhaps any of the Junior Agents – whom were not too far away from being promoted to fulltime Agents - too.

As she passed her son’s room, she noticed a pair of socks – among other items of discarded yesterday’s clothing - laying in front of his door. Milla let out a sigh, and with a flick of her wrist the clothes levitated into her laundry basket. “Why did I even bother giving that boy his own laundry bin he begged for last week?”

A familiar scratch in the back of her head tickled her, making her smile as she recognized her husband’s mental touch.. ‘Because he’s longing for more independence from ‘overbearing parents’, as would any 15-year old teenager his age?’

Milla giggled. “Back to your papers, husband, for they won’t fill in themselves.”

A hearty chuckle resonated in her head. “Unfortunately….” She soon felt the connection break away again, leaving Milla with her own thoughts.

Milla looked at Razputin’s door, letting out a heavy breath. Knowing Razputin, his room would be littered with clothes. Such a shame, certainly because he was so much like her when it came to fashion and wellbeing of his clothes when he was younger. So fussy about keeping them as fabulous as possible, as long as possible. But alas, little ducklings grow up into hormonal teenagers as well and will look to tear themselves away from mama duck, looking for their own place in this big blue pond that is the world.

Milla smiled. Not that Raz really tried, though. He was often mentioning about being ‘too big for that, mom’ a lot, but still he would snuggle up to her whenever they’d watch a movie together. He’d always be her little boy, no matter how much he tried to act mature.

She shook away her thoughts and walked over to his room. She’d normally let Raz’s room alone – trying to teach Raz some responsibilities about tidying his own room. But if he was insisted on leaving his dirty laundry around, she’d clean now and give a lecture later.

She opened the door …and froze at the sigh before her. Her teenage son was in his bed, his equally teenage girlfriend Lili on top of him, her shirt seemingly halfway on it’s way to be taken off. The two teens let out a startled yelp, with Lili quickly rolling off Razputin, scrambling up while she tried to fix her outfit.

Raz sat him, giving his mom a venomous look. “Damnit mom, haven’t you ever heard of knocking?!” He asked, his voice a bit too harsh.

Milla dropped her laundry basket, her lips two thin lines on her face. A silence fell over the room. Raz, realizing what he just did, turned bright red.

“Uh …so-“

“Lili, darling, I think it’s time you go home, don’t you think?” Milla asked calmly, her expression neutral despite the overly sweet tone in her voice – which brought shivers down the two teenagers’ backs.

Lili quickly grabbed her jacket, giving Raz a quick wave. “Yes, Milla. Sorry about that Milla. I’m going now Milla. Please don’t kill my boyfriend, Milla.” She turned to Raz. “If you survive, give me a call, okay?”

“Now, Lili.”

Lili squeaked. “Gone! Bye!” She quickly ran out of the room, running into a side table by the sound of it. They heard the front door open and slam shut.

Only Raz and Milla were left in the room. Milla took a deep breath and walked over to her son, who shrunk further in himself with every step she took. By the time Milla had reached his bed and sat down, he was holding his breath.

Milla sighed, her gaze fixed on the wall in front of her. “Razputin, I do not appreciate you raising your voice against me.”

Raz gulped. “Mom, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“And I certainly do not like it that you used profanity at me, too.”

Raz shrunk. “That …was an accident. It came out before I realized it.” He explained in a tiny, soft voice. “I mean, you startled me and Lili – NOT that I’m blaming you are anything, but-“

“And what were you and Lili doing?” Milla asked, snapping her gaze at her son.

Raz let out a squeak. “Okay, okay, I don’t know what you think it it looked like, but-“

“I think it looked like you and Lili were making out quite passionately, Razputin.”

“O-kay …so, you do know what it looked like, but-but-but I can explain. Me and Lili were just hanging out here, watching movies and such, just minding our own business and I commented on how nice Lili’s hair looked today and good she smelled and w-well …one thing let to the other. I mean, she’s my girlfriend, right? It’s not like we never-“

“Raz, you are not in trouble for …making out with your girlfriend.” Milla stated, her expression slightly amused for a second before it sterned again. “I’m not a naïve person, darling. I do realize you and Lili are very close, and you two act on it, in the same way you have seen me and Sasha express our love for one another. You’re a passionate person, Razputin. You’re a Vodello, after all.”

“So …I’m not in trouble?”

“I’m not finished.” Milla stated. “I do, however, would like to ask you one thing: if I hadn’t stepped into your room just now, how far would you two have gone?”

Raz tilted his head, his expression confused. “How far would-“ His eyes turned wide and he quickly waved his hand in a frantic dismissive manner. “Oh, oh, mom, no! Me and Lili weren’t gonna- I mean, I wasn’t going to …just kissing, not …the other thing.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you two never had such intentions, but two hormonal teenagers in love in a room alone could potentially end up in those types of situations. You and Lili are getting older and your bodies are undergoing constant changes, which make you look at one another in different ways then when you were younger.”

Raz groaned. “Mom, I had ‘The Talk’ with dad last year.”

“And now I’m having my say as well, querido.” Milla stated, a teasing smile spreading on her lips. She noticed how Raz visibly relaxed at this sight.

She placed a hand on his cheek and smiled warmly at him. “Razputin, I just want to implore you that you and Lili act responsibly. Not only for your sake, but especially for Lili’s. I realize that, if the two of you ever decided to take the next step-“ She grabbed Raz by his chin, giving it a light squeeze. “-that the two of you wait until you’re both old enough!” She pulled him closer, looking him dead in the eyes. “You understand me, Razputin?”

“Loud and clear, mom.” Raz squeaked.

Milla released him with a smile. “Good. Glad to hear you take this seriously.” She pulled him into a hug, which he promptly returned.

“I’m really sorry I yelled at you, mom.” Raz stated as he pulled away from the hug.

“And I am sorry for not knocking first.” Milla said. She booped her son on the nose. “Seems we both learned a few lessons today, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna need a lock for my door, for instance.” Raz joked.

“Never gonna happen, darling.” Milla patted Raz on the head and stood up. The laundry basket levitated off the ground, into her arms. She stopped in the doorway and looked over her shoulder. “Oh, and please clean your room, darling. It’s like a pigsty in here.”

Raz let out a groan. “Yes, mom…”

“Good boy.”

Milla walked out the room, closing the door behind her. She let out a heavy sigh and smiled. “Teenagers... no-one said motherhood would be easy.”

[nicodemuslily]

Family

Journalist: Can you introduce us to your family?

Hotch: Yes. Here is Derek, the elder. Our conversations don’t run under less than 100 db and he opens doors kicking them with his foot.

Hotch: Here is the second one, Penelope, who collects glittery pens. As you see her right now, she has just woke up.

Hotch: Emily, the third one. She has a subscription to the local precinct. It’s her fifth arrest in three days this week.

Hotch: Spencer, the little one. He talks a lot, but we don’t always understand what he is trying to say. I think there was an exchange at the maternity ward.

Hotch: And here is Jennifer, my lovely sweet child. She obeys, tidies up her bedroom and does the dishes when asked. She’s perfect. And then, she has a black belt in MMA, so beware of what you say.

Journalist: And him?

Hotch: Well, him, he’s only there to steel our coffee.

Hotch: Get out, sir! That’s enough now!

___

Something a little bit different this time, but I didn’t want to publish it during the week (it’s not really a silly comics, but not a sketchdump neither). Well, whatever, I’ve got this idea into my mind for quite some times now and needed to do something about it. 

I don’t really know the ages of the character into the show to be honest (Rossi and Hotch are clearly the eldest, and Reid the younger, but no idea about the in-between). Weirdly, I always thought that Emily was younger than Derek, but it’s the opposite actually. So, yes, this timeline above is completely messy, but who cares? They’re no real family after all. :D

Well, I’ll hide the next part because it will have nothing to do with the drawing above. I need to talk about my feelings about the S12E06 (aka the last Hotch episode, but not really because he disappeared 4 episodes before). No one cares but my brain is chewing me alive with the strong emotions I felt watching it. If you think that this character was just an unsufferable and emotionless dork, you’ve got the right to go away to do something more interesting. :)

Well, I could have talk about that on the CM discord server I’m currently in, but they are all MGG fanpeople, so they don’t give a damn about the disappearance of the character (they even think that is a great episode because Emily became the BAU director). 

Actually, I totally can get why the writers gave this job to her. She was already a team leader in Interpol, she surely have the shoulders to lead another team with the FBI (especially a team she already knew). I’m perfectly okay with that. 

What I’m not okay with is the way it was treated. 

I’m mean, all this episode is just nonsense (I’m not talking about the case, just what happened in the team). When Rossi told them that Hotch gave his resignation because Mr. Scratch tried to kill Jack, their reaction was: “Okay, who’s going to be the boss next?”. 

Dudes! Someone is telling you that the guy who was your boss for 11 years is freaking out because a serial killer is after his only family left, and you don’t give a damn sh*t. When Foyet was after Haley and Jack, you jumped on the bandwagon to find him at any cost. The same happened now, but with another sociopath turning after a kid... and you just shrug your shoulders???

I mean, even if you’re fed up with the old man, isn’t supposed to be your job to search for serial killers? I know that there was another case around, with kids involved, but they really reacted like it was nothing. And they spent all the episode only talking about Emily and her future role as a leader. They didn’t speak at all about was happening to Hotch and Jack (like they were on holidays or something). It’s just: Emily, Emily and Emily. 

The only character who talked “about him” was Garcia (because Rossi asked her). And, actually, she mostly speaked about her feelings and what she could say as last words to all the others, than anything else. 

The worst part must be the last scene. Rossi speech is so awkward and the reaction of the others are the same: they litteraly celebrated the fact that a guy they knew for a decade (what I supposed to be their friend) was going to live the shittiest life ever, turning his back all of sudden to his relatives, his friends, his job (maybe his country) for an indetermined amount of time, because a sociopath (they were supposed to catch, you know) was hunting him and his son. Their “friend” has lost everything in a blink, and they drunk Champagne. 

That’s nonsense.

I mean, I know why the character left (and I won’t talk about this here, even if I think that he was treated like garbage too), but what I don’t get is why did they wrote something like that. Why they just didn’t kill him?

We all knew that the character wasn’t meant to come back anyway (not like Emily with Doyle, you see), so why they just didn’t put him down definitely, like they did with Gideon. There was no need to kill Jack, just Hotch. The kid would have lived with his aunt Jessica (not a big change for him, if I may), we would have had a terrible burial ceremony (where there’s no need to see the actor) and that’s it. It would have killed me as hell, but it would have make more sense that... this.

Well, I’m sad and angry at the same time, because I love this character so much, but at least, it’s said now. I don’t know if it will help me to watch the next seasons, but I had to do it. Sorry for the rant. It’s just my non-objective opinion about this old frowning guy; feel free to think otherwise. :)

[kindheart525]

Luster was feeling pretty discouraged after her failed attempt at bonding with Marmalade. For once she felt like she had a family member who understood her, who was on her level, only to find out how self-absorbed she was. In hindsight, she should have known when Marm got her the wrong ice cream on purpose, it was a sign.

It was disappointing, but Luster couldn’t say she wasn’t used to it. She wasn’t much of a group-project filly anyway, she actually learned a lot while working alone. And it looked like Marm was the same way…even more so. Group projects never went well when two ponies were fighting to take charge. 

So now Luster kept to herself, opting to spend her time reading and organizing her books in a peaceful but somewhat lonely state of solitude.

“That looks like a good one.”

“Ah!”

Luster nearly jumped out of her skin at the voice, turning to see one of her other cousins, Blackfire Phoenix, also standing at the bookshelf.

“Sorry. I’m not trying to read over your shoulder.”

Blackfire stepped aside a bit, even though she wasn’t close enough to read over Luster’s shoulder to begin with.

“Oh, okay, um…thanks.”

Luster stammered as she tried to gain her composure, though she already appreciated her cousin respecting her space.

“If you’re looking for something I can get out of the way, I’m just organizing.”

“No.”

Her cousin said a bit bluntly, but she was sincere about it.

“Keep organizing if you want. I won’t stop you. Not enough people appreciate the value of tidiness, so be my guest.”

Blackfire smiled a bit at this last part, nodding for Luster to continue what she was doing.

“Well, not enough ponies do either. I’ve even met teachers who can’t keep their desks clean or their lesson plans in order.”

“It’s the worst, isn’t it?”

Blackfire rolled her eyes playfully and they both chuckled together.

“It’s a skill that you develop, it takes a lot of practice. Some don’t want to put in the effort, while some just haven’t been taught how. It’s like Mom always says, self-improvement takes a lot of work but it’s worth the effort.”

“Yeah, that makes sense!”

Luster nodded along, warming up to her cousin but also impressed by her aunt’s wisdom.

“And, well, annoying as it is, I have this one teacher who is actually really smart even if he can’t keep his room clean. He’s really good at making math actually relevant. My Papa…”

Luster almost couldn’t believe she was bringing up either of her parents, and so casually too. She almost stopped herself but ultimately decided to share this memory with her cousin.

“He always told me everypony has their different strengths.”

Blackfire didn’t know her uncle at all, but she could tell that talking about him was hard for Luster. She didn’t want to press her to talk about him more than she wanted to.

“Mmm, he sure had a point.”

She looked over the bookshelf for something to cheer her cousin up.

“What’s yours? I’m seeing a lot of magic books here.”

“Yes!”

Luster lit up a little more, taking some books and starting to flip through them, passing a few to Blackfire so she could focus on one.

“My favorite is light work magic, there’s so much you can do to manipulate light! You can manipulate the colors, the brightness…well, just about anything! It’s actually really fascinating but I don’t want to distract you from something else.

“I have nothing in my schedule. I want to hear more. Go on.”

Luster was practically floored by this, in a good way. It was such a small gesture but it meant a lot to her for somepony else to show genuine interest in her passions. She hadn’t felt this way since…well, in a long time. 

And so the two cousins spent the rest of the afternoon talking about their passions, demonstrating the tricks of the trade and discovering new ways to create a space that brought them joy.

~~~~~~~~~~

Previous: Weird Science Next: Peach Skin

Luster Dawn's cutie mark by Parcly-Taxel

Bookshelf by DayDreamSyndrom

[strangetowntales]

One might ask why Nervous accepts the treatment he gets from the Beakers. Well, firs of all, Nervous has no one else. He was put in foster care when he was still a small child, so he doesn’t have any conscious memory of his family… though sometimes a woman who he kind of perceives as his mother appears in his dreams.

But we’ll get on it later.

And even if he had some memories that he could use to eventually find his family, well. There must have been a reason to take him away.

Nervous has good reasons to believe they didn’t like him much to begin with, just as nearly everyone he has ever met. He can assume they did not care for him properly… or maybe his family was the one to contact social services to raise them from the weight of his existence. Who knows?

What he can tell for sure is, people generally don’t like him.

Growing up, no one seemed to want to be around him. Children would avoid him, if not bully him. Caregivers would simply tolerate his presence. There were a few nice people who were actually kind to him, but almost as soon as he met them he had to move somewhere else. Nervous has always believed those people were good-hearted and felt sorry for him, so they made an effort to treat him with kindness even though deep down they found him repulsive like the others.

Why would someone like him, by the way?

He, too, feels different. There’s something off about him. It has been an hard pill to swallow, but eventually he had to accept it. Everyone else seems to intuitively know what to do in social situations: what to say and what not, and when. How to be funny, how to make a good joke, when to laugh. There are things no one teaches you. You just know. You somehow sense them.

Well, not him. It’s like he’s from (and on) another planet. Of course he has tried to fit in, but you guessed it: it never works. It’s just exhausting and unfullfilling. He doesn’t remember the first time people called him Nervous. It was early on, for sure. For awhile he actually believed Nervous was his real name. Or perhaps he was aware it wasn’t, but he wanted to pretened they weren’t making fun of him. Anyway, at one point no one recalled or even knew what his real name was in the first place, not even himsfelf.

When he was out of the system due to being legally an adult, he had nowhere to go.

In a different life maybe he would have been off to college, instead he found himself in the streets. He quickly ran out of the few money he had before he could find a job, so…

“Hey! Are you ok? Do you need help?”

Nervous was sleeping on a bench when he woke up to the sound of a worried woman’s voice standing right in front of him, her concerned face framed by short red hair. By the uniform she was wearing she must have worked at the hospital. He felt immediately reassured by her presence.

“Hi, my name is Circe.”

The sun was going down and it was getting cold. “I’m Nervous… I mean, that’s how they call me. My name.”

She didn’t comment on his name, just smiled and asked if he had a place to stay, and he answered honestly: not anymore… but hopefully he could find a job soon.

“Well, I’m waiting for my taxi. Do you feel like telling me how you got in this situation in the meanwhile?”

Circe sat near him. Her genuine interest was surprising to say the least. When was the last time someone actually cared about his story? He didn’t remember. It felt relieving to tell someone about it, but he tried to keep it short, he was afraid he would bore that kind stranger. By now he believed he had accepted his fate, but still it was rather painful to talk about it. When he was finished, it happened something he hadn’t dare to hope.

Circe offered him to go home with her.

She explained that she lived with her husband and they were searching for someone who could keep the house clean and tidy since they both worked very much. Also he was a scientist and occasionally needed some help in the laboratory, nothing too difficult. Of course she had to talk about it with her husband, but it was worth to give it a try.

Nervous was so grateful, he didn’t ask a single question. He thanked her profusely but she brushed it off, like she was pulling people off the streets everyday and it was no big deal.

The taxi ride to Strangetown was kind of long. Nervous observed the desert landscape unfolding through the window. They passed what he recognized as the town cemetary, a stone building surrounded by an elegant black fence.

For some reason, he was unable to get his eyes off from it until it faded in the distance.

How he feels stupid now thinking about the way he was feeling that day, how thankful he was to Circe, as well as Loki. He wishes so much to not have ignored that unnerving feeling he got when he saw their house or rather their castle for the first time. To not have ignored the unexplainable uncanniness holding up him when Circe and Loki exchanged a look before informing him he could stay…

[namixart]

Never Bloom

Read on AO3!

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Cloud had always known that relationships weren’t really going to be in the cards for him. It wasn’t that he didn’t have the time, or the inclination—although, for most of his life, that had also been true. Rather, he’d come to recognise that what he wanted in a relationship didn’t really match what everyone else seemed to want. In hindsight, the realisation had been a long time coming.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Cloud had always known that relationships weren’t really going to be in the cards for him. It wasn’t that he didn’t have the time, or the inclination—although, for most of his life, that had also been true. Rather, he’d come to recognise that what he wanted in a relationship didn’t really match what everyone else seemed to want. In hindsight, the realisation had been a long time coming.

---

When Cloud was thirteen, his mother sat him down in her tidy and brightly lit kitchen for a Talk. He grimaced when she said it: she’d made it into an important word, as if she’d capitalised it in speaking. He knew what the Talk was, mainly from movies about awkward teenagers and first loves. He didn’t like those movies much—it just seemed like the characters were all worrying and making themselves stupid over nothing. Cloud didn’t care about first loves and capital-T-Talks: he wanted to become a SOLDIER, and that was much cooler.

He had never thought that the Talk would ever actually happen in real life. He grimaced the entire time.

“Mooom,” he groaned at one point, interrupting her even-voiced ramble about protection. “I don’t care. Can we not?”

She sighed. “I know it’s awkward. But it’s stuff you need to know, so you’re ready when you—”

“But I don’t want to.” Cloud scrunched up his nose. The movies were getting to her.

She chuckled. “Oh, we’ll see how you feel about that in a few years.”

He frowned. He hated it when grown-ups did that. “Ever,” he added. “I don’t wanna do that, ever.”

His mother raised an eyebrow. “Ever is a long time. And thirteen years is not. How do you know that?”

Cloud crossed his arms and looked away. His mother’s bluntness and honesty were usually something he liked about her, even if they often resulted in him being embarrassed, but in that moment all they were good for was making Cloud’s stomach turn. He frowned as he tried to imagine himself with another person in any of the ways she was describing. Sex. He squeezed his eyes shut to chase away the image. No.

“I just do,” he mumbled.

She hummed and reached out to take his shoulder. Cloud didn’t look at her. “Okay,” she said, in that tone that really meant that she was letting him win the battle but not the war. “Just remember, it’s okay to talk to me about anything like that.”

Cloud made a non-committal noise. His mother let go of his shoulder and leaned back in her chair. “On a completely unrelated note—” Cloud snorted— “do you still like Tifa?”

Cloud felt his cheeks heat up. “I guess,” he muttered, planting his eyes firmly on the ceiling. A lot of boys in Nibelheim had a crush on Tifa. She was nice, and pretty, and she was studying martial arts with Zangan, which was cool. Maybe she wanted to join SOLDIER too.

“Uh-huh,” said his mother. “And, when you think about her, you don’t—”

“Not like that!” he snapped. Unrelated note, my ass. “I don’t give a damn about—”

“Language,” she warned, voice even but firm.

Cloud rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to—to have sex with her.” He spat out the word like it would burn him if it took him any longer to say it. An uncomfortable weight sat at the mouth of his stomach.

His mother nodded. “Oh, of course. You’re way too young for that, both of you. But it’s okay to feel attracted to her in that way. It’s just part of growing up.” She smiled sweetly. “It’s normal, honey.”

It felt like a slap. Cloud stood up suddenly, nearly toppling his chair over. “Yeah, well, maybe I’m not normal.” His voice cracked on the last word, and it hung in the air for a long moment. His mother looked at him with a mixture of surprise, confusion, and pity.

“Oh, Cloud…” she started. “I’m—”

“Forget it,” he said, shoving his chair back under the table. “I’m going to my room.”

His mother called his name again, but he was already climbing the stairs two steps at a time. He quickly got to his room, slammed the door shut, and let himself fall down on his bed. He stared at the ceiling as his mother’s words replayed in his mind.

It’s normal to feel attracted to her in that way.

But he just didn’t. Why was it so hard to believe? What did it even mean? How was it different from just liking Tifa the normal way? He was pretty sure he did like her, but not—not like that. Not in the way everyone else did.

Cloud didn’t like to be around the other kids much, and they certainly didn’t like being around him either, but he’d heard them talk during recess at the schoolhouse. They talked about Tifa—or other people they liked—often, but in a way that made Cloud wish the ground would swallow him. They talked about their crushes’ bodies, and their own bodies, and about how they wanted to touch and be touched and—and then it varied from person to person, but it was never anything that Cloud could fathom being enjoyable. He also really didn’t think Tifa and the others would appreciate that kind of fantasies.

They had to be joking, right? Putting on a show of being grown-up and cool, like they did all the time. They were so immature. Attraction, sex… it was adult stuff, not something thirteen-year-olds thought up on their own.

At least, he didn’t. Once or twice, Cloud had tried imagining himself in some of the scenarios they described, but they just made him uncomfortable. One time, he’d snuck into the adult section of the library and gingerly flicked through a couple of magazines, only to quickly shelf them again with a mixture of shame, confusion, and dread.

His classmates were joking. They had to be. He couldn’t be the only one to find the whole… sex thing off-putting and weird.

…Right?

There came a soft knock at his door. “Cloud?” called his mother. “Can I come in?”

He hesitated. “Whatever,” he mumbled then, folding his arms behind his head and closing his eyes.

Quietly, she slipped inside the room and padded over to his bed. She sat down close to him—he felt the mattress dip—and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry, baby,” she said. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Cloud just huffed. His mother chuckled. “What, don’t want me calling you that? Well, tough luck.” She poked him lightly in the ribs. “You are my baby. My little silly goose.”

“Mom, come on,” grumbled Cloud, but he was finding it hard to keep frowning.

His mother giggled and pushed him a bit to the side so she could lie down next to him. “I really am sorry,” she said, running a hand through his hair. “It’s okay if you don’t feel that way yet.”

Cloud bit his lip. “But…” Everyone else does.

“Not everyone’s journey is the same,” she continued, as if she’d read his mind. “You’re still so young. It’ll happen for you too, eventually. You’re just a bit of a late bloomer, that’s all.”

“I guess.” He frowned again. Could that be it? That he was just a late bloomer? It sounded more like wishful thinking—except he wasn’t really wishing for it, either. If he never bloomed at all, what then? Would that be okay?

The feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach told him otherwise.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now, if it makes you uncomfortable,” said his mother. “Do you want me to drop it?”

Cloud nodded, relieved. “Yeah.”

His mother smiled and pressed a light kiss into his hair, before getting off the bed with a quiet “Oof.” Cloud pushed himself up on his elbows and watched her make for the door. “Gonna go get dinner ready,” she said. “See you down in twenty minutes.”

“Okay,” said Cloud, as his mother disappeared into the hallway.

He let out a shaky sigh and lay down again. He didn’t have to worry about it. It was okay. He was okay. No need to think about the stuff that made him uncomfortable.

But everyone at school would, the next day and the day after that. Cloud would be sitting at his desk at the back of the classroom, scribbling absent-mindedly in his copybook while they talked. He would press his lips together and try to tune out dreams, fantasies, and desires that felt so alien to him.

I’m a late bloomer. I’m a late bloomer. I’m a late bloomer.

There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m a late bloomer.

Any day. Any day now.

---

Being bumped down to the Shinra army was a setback Cloud hadn’t expected on his way to becoming a top SOLDIER operative, but he wouldn’t be stuck there forever. He would work hard, train harder, and crush the entry test for SOLDIER when he took it again. He knew it. He wasn’t stuck in the army. It had only been one year. And, hey, he was already stationed in Midgar.

He wasn’t really there to make friends but, by the time their first week of assignments ended, he’d found himself sneaking over to another building in the barracks in the middle of the night. According to Alendi, his assigned sparring buddy and sharer-of-the-bunk-bed, he needed to loosen up. Cloud had rolled his eyes, but then he’d let him and his friends, whose names he only half-remembered, push him out the room.

As it turned out, the event was a small, clandestine party to celebrate a cadet’s eighteenth birthday away from the prying eyes of the officers. Alendi and Kim, one of the friends, made a beeline for the makeshift refreshment table, where a few bottles were being passed around already. Kim grabbed three cups and a brown bottle, filled them almost to the brim, and made to hand one to Cloud.

“I, uh…” He scratched the back of his head. “I’m fifteen,” he said. He was one of the youngest cadets, he knew that, but the age gap never seemed to matter, not until it came to dumb teenage stuff outside of the army.

“And a goody-two-shoes,” said Kim cheerily. “You’re not gonna rat us out, are ya?”

Cloud frowned. “Course not.”

“Great!” Alendi downed his drink and then swiped the one that had been meant for Cloud. “Better get this away from you, then,” he said with a wink.

He smiled tersely. “Yeah. Uh, sorry.”

Kim shrugged. “More for us.”

A couple of hours later, Cloud thought that maybe he should have been drinking after all. Everyone else was getting less coherent by the second, and Cloud was starting to feel more and more alone in the crowd. He wished he could leave, but he’d promised he’d help Alendi back to their bunk, so he was stuck.

Eventually, inexplicably, all of the guests ended up sitting in a circle on the ground, with Cloud pressed between Kim and someone whose name he was pretty sure was Fabian.

The birthday guy, on the other side of the circle, raised his cup with drunken shakiness. “I miss Areia,” he announced, slurring his words so much that Cloud almost didn’t catch them.

A girl next to Birthday Guy shoved him playfully. “No, you don’t. You miss the sex.”

A low rumble of laughter spread around the circle. Someone yelled, “Don’t sex your ex!”

Cloud swallowed a knot of anxiety in his throat and laughed nervously. He silently prayed for the conversation to swiftly move on.

The guy waved a hand in the air—the one that was holding the cup, so he spilled some of the drink on himself—and huffed. “I won’t, I won’t. But damn.” He nudged the girl. “I do miss the sex.”

She shoved him again. “Don’t look at me,” she laughed. “Taken, and not into guys, anyway.”

He laughed. “I know.” He looked at the circle again. “Any volunteers? Be a pretty cool birthday gift, jus’ sayin’.” He struck what was probably supposed to be a sultry pose, but ended up spilling more of his drink.

Everyone laughed again.

“It does suck, though,” said Fabian, next to Cloud. “Bein’ in the army an’ all—dating is a nightmare.”

“Maybe you’re just ugly,” said Alendi.

Fabian laughed. “Speak for yourself. I got high standards, that’s all. And no one here clears ‘em.”

Alendi threw his cup at him. “Oh, you dick. Okay, how’s this: Redi Moore, nautical engineering. What about her?”

As Fabian thought for a second, Cloud also wracked his brain until he found Dr Moore in there. She was kinda cold, but definitely knew what she was doing in the labs.

“Know what?” said Fabian, smacking his palm with his fist. “I’ll give you that one. Major hottie.”

The girl next to Birthday Guy whistled in agreement, and a lot of people around the circle nodded as well.

Cloud frowned. Right. This was still about being attracted to her. He rolled his eyes.

“What, not sold?” asked Alendi, and Cloud realised with a jolt of alarm that he was talking to him. “You don’t think she’s smoking hot?”

He swallowed. “Uh…” No? What does that even mean? Why does everyone know except for me? “I, uh, don’t even know her?” he finally got out.

Fabian shrugged. “Well, duh. Neither do we. What’s that got to do with anything?”

Cloud pushed down a surge of frustrated confusion. How can you like someone you don’t know? He shook his head. “Isn’t she, like, in her twenties?”

Alendi leaned back on his hands. “Fair enough, I guess. She is kinda old for you. Well, there anyone your age you like?”

Cloud wanted to protest being talked down to like that, but at least he’d dodged a bullet for now. So, he swallowed his irritation and shrugged. “Not really.”

Kim clicked his tongue. “Oh, come on. There’s gotta be someone.”

He rolled his eyes. “Nope.”

Fabian slapped his hand on Cloud’s shoulder so hard that he buckled a bit under it. “You’re holding out on us! That’s no fun.”

Cloud groaned. Were they really not going to leave him alone until he gave them a name? Fine. “Well, uh,” he started, “I guess there’s this one girl. From back home.” That was safe, right? Tifa was all the way back in Nibelheim. No risk of them trying to set him up with her or anything.

But Alendi looked disappointed. “Aww, but that’s so far away.”

Cloud shrugged. “Dunno what to tell ya.”

“Well, we gotta find you someone here,” said Kim, shaking his head. “You need to loosen up, Blondie.”

Cloud frowned. Damnit. “Not interested. Don’t have time, anyway.”

Fabian laughed. “I’m sure you’ll make time. So, you’re into girls, right? Just you wait until—”

“Not. Interested,” repeated Cloud, with some venom slipping into his voice. For a moment, he thought about explaining himself. Explaining that he didn’t understand that world they all seemed to care so much about, that he was the latest of the late bloomers—not broken, not broken, not broken, any day now—that he didn’t know why it mattered if he found people attractive-in-the-sexy-way or not. But he figured it would’ve been nothing more than a waste of effort, so he just glared at Fabian and Kim.

The mood seemed to shift in a moment of surprised silence.

“C’mon, guys, leave him be,” said Alendi, tapping Kim on the shoulder. “He’s already got someone, didn’t you hear?” But he was frowning at Cloud as well. He knew that look. It meant, ‘It was all in good fun. Why can’t you take a joke?’

Cloud didn’t have an answer. But he’d had enough of the party.

“I wanna get some early training in,” he said, standing up. “Think I’m gonna head back. You gonna be okay on your own?”

“Yeah,” said Alendi. “Don’t get caught.”

Cloud nodded, then made a beeline for the door, walking as fast as he could without running. Once he was finally outside in the cool night air, he sighed in relief.

“Want me to beat them up for ya?” came a voice from behind him.

Cloud jumped a bit and turned to find the girl from earlier leaning on the wall just beside the door, with a lit cigarette between her fingers.

“What?”

She straightened up. “Fabian and the others,” she said. “Looked like they were giving you a hard time. And you looked upset earlier too.”

“Oh.” Cloud shook his head. Damn. Someone had noticed. “It’s nothing.”

She tilted her head to the side. “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” She took a long drag from her cigarette. “Let me know if you need help, though.”

Cloud furrowed his brows. “…Why? You don’t know me.”

She blew out a perfect circle of smoke from her lips. “Feel like it,” she said, shrugging. She seemed to hesitate for a moment, then added, “I’ve been there.”

Cloud frowned. “Where? What do you mean?”

Instead of answering, the girl tossed a glance up at the street clock nearby. “You going back? If you make a run for it now, you should dodge the patrol.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

She waved a hand in the air—first dismissively and then in a shooing motion. “Run along now. I’ll see you around, Blondie.”

He nodded, then said, “It’s Cloud.”

“Noa,” she said. “Nice to meet you. Now go.”

She tossed her cigarette on the ground and put it out with the heel of her boot, then offered one last wave before slipping back inside the barracks.

Cloud stood there only a moment longer before turning around and hurrying in the direction of his own building. Idly, as he hid behind a wall to check for anyone patrolling the area, he wondered what Noa had meant by ‘having been there.’

---

Off-duty SOLDIERs weren’t strictly allowed to wander in and out of army common rooms as they pleased, but Zack Fair had never been one to let something as trivial as rules stop him. Cloud’s superior officer shot Zack a glare as he strolled inside the room and casually flopped down onto the least uncomfortable couch, while Cloud closed the report that he’d been reading with a slight smile. It wasn’t like he was gonna get any more work done with Zack there.

He hoisted his legs onto the backrest of the couch so he was lying upside down, and let out a long, satisfied sigh—in Zack-speak, it meant that he wanted Cloud to ask him what he was so happy about.

“Had a good day?” Cloud turned around to sit backwards in his chair.

Zack gave him a big upside-down grin. “Not yet! I’m basking in the anticipation.”

Cloud hummed. “That so?”

“Yep.” Zack spread his arms out. “I’m seeing my girlfriend, tonight. I’ve been so busy, I’ve barely managed to get down to Sector 5 lately.”

The familiar little sting of jealousy was easy to ignore. It wasn’t like Cloud had ever thought his vague, half-crush on Zack would ever go anywhere—frankly, he didn’t even want it to, because it would inevitably lead to places he was desperately uncomfortable with. Places that Zack’s mind was very clearly at as he kept talking, unaware of Cloud’s thoughts.

“She said her mom’s not gonna be home,” said Zack. “She asked me to spend the night!” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.“She was so cute and excited about it.”

“Uh-huh.” Right. For all that he felt at ease around Zack, there was still that invisible barrier of understanding, that world Cloud just didn’t get. It made him feel so… alone.

Zack brought his hands together. “Ah, I can’t wait. It’s such a hassle to find some privacy ‘round the slums—and she won’t even come close to HQ—so this is a golden opportunity. Man, I’m starting to get kinda nervous. I haven’t been with anyone in a while. What if I’m rusty?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I just really, really like her, y’know? I gotta make tonight awesome for both of us.”

“Uh-huh.”

Zack fell quiet for a second. Cloud looked up—he’d let his gaze wander off into nothingness—and found him frowning at him.

“You okay?” asked Zack, turning around on the couch so he was sitting normally.

Cloud gave a well-rehearsed nonchalant shrug. “Uh, yeah. All good.”

Zack’s frown deepened. “You’re a bad liar. What’s wrong? Was it something I said?”

“I’m fine. Really.” Cloud winced as Zack’s expression morphed into one of deep thought. Once he was sure something was going on, there was no dissuading him.

“Hmm… Does it bother you when I talk about my girlfriend?” he asked, putting a hand on his chin.

Cloud sighed and shook his head. “Of course not.”

“You got all sour when I mentioned I was going over to her place tonight,” said Zack. His eyebrows shot up. “Oh, I get it. Sorry—didn’t mean to brag.”

“Huh?” Cloud cocked his head to the side. “Brag?”

“Well, yeah. You’re not seeing anyone and here I am, going off about spending the night at my girlfriend’s.” He scratched the back of his neck. “So, uh, sorry.”

“I didn’t think you were bragging,” said Cloud, in a half laugh. “It’s fine.”

“Still.” Zack shrugged. “I feel bad.”

Cloud shook his head. “Don’t. I’m not interested anyway.”

Zack furrowed his brows. “Not interested… in what?”

“You know…” Cloud gestured vaguely with his hand, averting his gaze. Shit. Shouldn’t have said that.

“I really don’t. What’re you talking about?”

Cloud hesitated. Zack was looking at him with a mixture of sincere curiosity and confusion. And, when he tossed a look around, he saw that no one else was in the common room anymore. Maybe… Maybe it would be okay to talk to him about it. Maybe he would understand. He took a deep breath. “It’s just—I don’t get it,” he said, fiddling with his gloves so he wouldn’t have to look Zack in the eye. “The whole… sex thing.” He felt his ears burn, like he was a child caught saying a bad word. “I don’t get why it’s such a big deal to everyone. I dunno. Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

Zack didn’t say anything, but Cloud wasn’t looking at him to gauge his reaction. Now that he was talking—for the first time in years—it was hard to stop. “I feel like I’m missing something—like everyone’s in on the joke except for me. I dunno—that bothers me. Not you talking about your girlfriend or anything like that.” He ran a hand over his face. “I’ve never looked at anyone and thought that I wanted to have sex with them. Is that something people just do? I just don’t get it. But everyone else does. I feel—” He cut himself off. Different. Lesser. Broken.

He had to shut up, so he did. He hazarded a glance up at Zack. He had his face scrunched up in thought, as if he were trying to remember something. Or maybe it was bafflement, confusion, disgust at Cloud’s particular brand of damaged. As unlikely as that sounded, coming from someone as nice as Zack, the prolonged stretch of silence was starting to gnaw at Cloud’s bones.

He swallowed a knot in his throat. “Know what? Forget I—”

“Oh!” Zack cut him off by snapping his fingers as his face lit up. “You’re ace, aren’t you?”

Cloud furrowed his brows. “I’m… what?” Ace? Of what? He hadn’t done that well on his latest physical assessment—and what did that have to do with anything anyway?

Zack leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “Ace! Asexual!”

Cloud just shook his head. “I don’t know what that means.”

“Oh.” Zack leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Okay, I gotta get this right. Kunsel explained it to me a while back.”

An explanation!? Cloud bit his lip to keep it from shaking. Whether that was out of fear, or excitement, he didn’t know.

Zack looked up. “Right, okay. So, you said you don’t get being attracted to people, right?”

“Right,” said Cloud, flushing a bit. “In the I-wanna-have-sex-with-you way, at least.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, so, you know how everyone kinda has a preference in who they like? Guys, girls, non-binary people, all of the above…” Cloud nodded. “Well, some are the opposite of that. Asexual people don’t feel that way. Towards anyone. Some still like the sex, some don’t—but they’re not attracted to anyone that way.”

Cloud furrowed his brows. “That way,” he repeated slowly. “The, uh, I-wanna-have-sex-with-you way?” He suddenly regretted calling it that.

Zack nodded. “Well, yeah. They might still like people romantically, but not sexually,” he said. “So, like, you’re into someone but you don’t wanna sleep with them, y’know?” He scratched the back of his neck. “I think that’s right. Mostly.”

Cloud stared at the floor. Asexual.

There’s… a word. There’s a word for it. It was a little hard to breathe.

“Cloud,” started Zack, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I think you’re ace.”

A word for me.

A million questions swirled in his mind, but the one he ended up going with was, “Is… Is that okay?”

Zack burst out laughing. “Of course it’s okay!” he exclaimed. “Can’t say I relate, myself, but it’s great!” His expression softened a bit. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Cloud. It’s okay.”

Something must have shown on his face—Cloud wasn’t even entirely sure what. Too many thoughts and emotions were running around in his mind—overlapping, pushing, and stumbling into a confused pile as they all tried to be the main thought. Cloud shook his head. He could sort them out later. He offered Zack a small smile. “I think I’m ace,” he said, as if it could sum up all that he was feeling.

Zack grinned and playfully pushed a fist against his shoulder. “Atta boy,” he said. “But you should definitely look more into it yourself. Or ask Kunsel about it. I swear, that guy’s a walking encyclopaedia.”

“I don’t know Kunsel.”

Zack shrugged. “Well, you didn’t know you were ace until five seconds ago. Things can change, buddy.”

Cloud laughed as a knot finally unravelled inside him, one that had been tightening for years.

I’m not broken.

For the first time in forever, he didn’t feel like he was lying to himself.

---

The house hadn’t changed at all. The counters in the kitchen were still cluttered but tidy, the rug in the hall still caught on the front door, the vase by the window still sat empty—no doubt waiting for the day Cloud’s mother finally planted the expensive seeds she’d gotten as a present years before. Everything was the same as when he’d left.

Cloud wished he’d changed a little more, himself.

He finally took off his helmet when he stepped inside, and was immediately enveloped in a tight hug by his mother.

“Welcome home,” she said, as Cloud patted her shoulders. “You’ve gotten so tall! What happened? Oh, it’s been too long.”

Cloud chuckled awkwardly. He hadn’t realised he’d hit a growth spurt in his time away. Now his mother was a full head shorter than him, just tall enough for her hair to tickle his chin.

“It’s only been two years,” said Cloud.

His mother stepped away from the hug and put her hands on her hips. “Only! No wonder you never call—must feel like yesterday to you! While I’m here, left to my own devices and wondering how my baby boy is doing in the big city.” She faux-pouted.

Cloud snorted. “I call. Sometimes.”

His mother raised an eyebrow. Cloud winced. She giggled and shook his head. “We’ll work on that. Welcome home, honey.” She patted his cheek and motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen. “Come on. I was just about to make dinner. You’ve got some time, right?”

Cloud nodded. “I’m on call. But it should be fine—Sephiroth said we’re gonna start the inspection tomorrow. I’ll be busy then.”

She sighed. “Well, at least I get you all to myself for a little bit. How long will you be in town for?”

“Couple weeks, give or take.”

His mother hummed, turned to the stove, and started puttering about as Cloud went to set the table. They didn’t speak for a little while. His mother seemed at ease, singing quietly to herself as she cooked, but Cloud felt his own silence weigh on him.

He’d failed. He was supposed to come home a SOLDIER, a hero—or at least a hero in the making. But he wasn’t. He was just yet another faceless grunt in the army. He could barely face his mother, let alone Tifa and the promise he’d made her. He sighed inwardly as he set down two glasses on the table.

Behind him, he heard his mother stop in her tracks. Even without turning around, Cloud knew she was studying him.

“You know,” she started, as the clinking of kitchen utensils resumed, “I’m so proud of you.”

Cloud didn’t look at her.

“I am. I know you’re not where you want to be just yet, but I’m proud of who you are. It takes a lot of courage to leave home to go follow your dreams, especially when you’re so young. Look at you.” Gently, she took him by the shoulder so she could look him in the eye. “You’ve grown so much.”

Cloud gave a half-laugh and averted his gaze. “Mom, c’mon.”

She huffed playfully and let him go. “Alright, alright, you’re prickly today.” She turned back to the counter. “But I mean it. I keep expecting to see my baby boy and I keep finding a man.” She giggled. “A really handsome one, at that. I bet girls are all over you.”

Cloud rolled his eyes. “Not really.”

“Oh, come on. I don’t believe that.” She tossed him a glance over her shoulder. “No one?”

“Nope.” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he sat down. “Seriously? We’re doing this?”

She shrugged. “Well, excuse me if I’m worried about you. All alone in the big city…”

“I live in HQ. And I’ve been out of the house for two years.”

His mother tutted. “That doesn’t make me feel better. There are so many dangers and temptations—”

“Temptations?”

“—But you know what would make me feel a lot better?”

Cloud grimaced. “Please don’t—”

She turned around and pointed at him with a wooden spoon. “You finding a nice girl to settle down with!”

He groaned and leaned back into his chair. “As if. I can take care of myself.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Have you learned to cook?”

“That’s not—”

“But it’s more than that,” she continued, turning back around. “You need someone to keep you out of trouble, and someone who’s gonna tell you when you’re being silly.”

Cloud rolled his eyes. “I’m doing just fine.” And, unless I find someone who’s also ace, that’s never gonna happen anyway.

“Like right now,” she said. “Maybe an older girlfriend. I think that’d be perfect for you.”

Cloud sighed. She still didn’t get it. “Not interested,” he said.

His mother glanced at him again. “You’re holding out on me, aren’t you? Oh, there is someone, isn’t there?” She set down the pan and switched off the stove, then turned around and went to sit in the chair in front of Cloud’s. “Come on, you can tell me!”

Cloud groaned. “I don’t—” He cut himself off and frowned. He was holding out on her, just not in the way she thought. How was she supposed to know he was asexual if he didn’t tell her? I should just do it, shouldn’t I? Maybe she’d stop needling him about getting a girlfriend, then. He took a deep breath. “No one, really. But there’s something I—”

Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep.

His mother cocked her head to the side. “Is that your phone?”

“Yeah,” said Cloud, fishing it out of his pocket. He smiled when he saw that it was a text from Zack. Maybe he was taking Cloud on about coming to dinner at his place. “Just a sec.”

He quickly scanned the text and frowned.

“Something bad?”

He shook his head. “Not really. But I have to report back to the Inn for a briefing.”

Her face fell. “Now? But you said—”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Cloud stood up and grabbed his discarded helmet. “But that’s what being on call means. I have to be available.”

His mother walked with him to the door. “I understand,” she said sadly. “Well, alright. Go do your big important job. But I expect you to be back before you leave for a proper dinner.” She winked and patted his shoulder. “And maybe you can bring this mysterious texter along. I saw you smile at your phone, don’t think I didn’t.”

Cloud snorted. “Seriously?” Well, now he couldn’t ask Zack to come with him, unless he wanted to die of embarrassment. “It’s not like that. Actually, I—” He cut himself off and frowned. He couldn’t come out to his mother while halfway out the front door. He needed to sit her down and explain himself. “Know what? I’ll tell you when I come back for dinner.”

She nodded and leaned against the doorframe. “Alright. I’ll hold you to that.”

He smiled. “Yeah. Don’t worry. See you later.”

---

Cloud hadn’t expected to run into Tifa again, especially not in Midgar of all places. She ran a bar, now, on top of being part of a small eco-terrorist cell out to take down Shinra. And, well, Cloud was only happy to help with that part—for a fee, of course.

Tifa had been excited to see him. Cloud was glad to see she was doing well, although he couldn’t quite shake the memory of her lying on the floor of the Nibelheim reactor in a pool of her own blood. Cloud frowned. He’d really thought she wouldn’t make it.

But she had, and she’d built a new life in Midgar. She told him about it as she confidently led him through the narrow streets that made up the Sector 7 Undercity, the day after the Reactor 1 mission, but Cloud was only half-listening. It was a by-product of his SOLDIER training: he had to be on constant alert in case anything happened. However, instead of approaching enemies or monsters, all he picked up on were fragments of conversations from the people around him.

“Did you hear about the secret reactor jobs?”

“Wedge has so many cats—I wanna go see them!”

“Have you seen Betty? She was just at the playground…”

“I wanna drink with Tifa so bad.”

“Who wouldn’t? She’s a looker!”

“A bombshell, even!”

“I really wanna ask her out.”

“No way, dude, she’s so out of your league.”

Cloud stopped in his tracks. He quickly found the three drunk-at-10-in-the-morning men sitting on the steps in front of a house just a short distance away. They saw his glare and rushed to cover their faces.

“Oh, great. That her boyfriend or somethin’?”

Cloud sighed, shook his head, and hurried to catch back up with Tifa. When it came to being into someone, adults and thirteen-year-olds had a lot in common.

Seeing his old crush again, after so many years—and a very important realisation—had been strange. She’d gone from being pretty to undeniably beautiful, but Cloud didn’t think he felt any differently about her. And it was fine.

Years before, Cloud would’ve felt self-conscious and weird about looking at Tifa without a trace of the fabled sexual attraction—did feel self-conscious and weird. But there was a sense of peace about recognising his asexuality, a release from that expectation. He couldn’t remember the exact moment he’d realised it, or when he’d first learned the term. But it didn’t matter, he supposed. All that mattered was that he had it, and that he didn’t need to feel like there was something wrong with him anymore.

“Cloud?”

He shook his head and looked at Tifa. She’d stopped a few steps in front of him, and had a quizzical expression on her face. “Hm?”

“You good? You seem distracted.”

“I’m good,” he said. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

He shrugged. “Nothin’. Let’s go.”

Cloud walked ahead of Tifa, then let her catch up because she was the one leading him to wherever their odd jobs were taking them. After just a moment of silence, she started talking about a customer that had been giving her grief the day before, light and casual. Cloud again let her voice wash over him as he listened to the words and noises of the Undercity. It was kind of relaxing.

---

While Cloud had a lot of practice interrogating his own feelings of attraction—or lack thereof—he wasn’t used to being the target of it. It seemed unfair: he didn’t want anything to do with it, so why were other people dragging him into their games and desires?

Working with Jessie had been a rude awakening in that regard. He couldn’t be sure how much of it was an act—according to Wedge, it was all of it, Cloud disagreed—but Jessie was well and truly too thirsty for her own good.

He’d never really questioned whether or not he was attractive, but Jessie was very clear and very vocal about her opinion on the subject.

She’d kept up the flirty comments during the entirety of the Reactor mission, and then as he escorted her to the Plate to procure ingredients for her bombs. He didn’t really understand how she could focus on him while also dodging mortal danger. Maybe she was trying to get him to loosen up, or coping with fear. Either way, Cloud didn’t have time to pay her much mind while fighting for his—and everyone’s—life. However, he didn’t have anywhere to escape when she chose to hit on him with no danger in sight, when he went to check on her after their escapade to the Plate.

“Promise you’ll come back tomorrow night? My roommates should all be out.” Jessie linked her hands behind her back and winked as she swayed on the balls of her feet. “Come ooon. It’ll be lots of fun!”

Cloud sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You can’t be that desperate.”

Jessie shrugged. “Who says I’m desperate? It’s not like I’m settling, Mr Eye Candy.” As if to underline her point, she looked him up and down with an exaggerated pensive expression and a satisfied hmm. He felt his face heat up a bit.

“Seriously?” groaned Cloud. “Cut it out. Not interested.”

Jessie frowned and took a step back. “Oh. Okay. Uh, sorry.”

Cloud sighed and rolled his eyes. “Don’t take it the wrong way,” he said. “It’s nothing to do with you. It’s just—”

Jessie burst out laughing. “Are you seriously giving me the it’s not you, it’s me?” She waved a hand in the air. “Thought that only happened in shitty movies.”

Cloud furrowed his brows. “Huh?”

“Sorry, babe,” said Jessie, in a deep, goofy voice. “It’s not you—it’s me. See, my love for brooding and whacking things with a sword is far stronger than my love for you. It’ll never work between us.”

“I don’t sound like that,” said Cloud, shaking his head. He did offer a half smile, though. “And I didn’t say that.”

Jessie put her hands on her hips. “May-ko, Mah-ko. Anyway, I better get going.” She didn’t even pretend to move. “Buuut, if you reconsider...”

Cloud rolled his eyes. “I won’t.”

She brought a hand to her chest, faux-hurt. “Ouch! Hey, is that the arrow of love, piercing my heart? Or the cold sting of rejection?”

Cloud snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”

Jessie winked. “It’s part of the charm, Hotshot. It working?”

Cloud shook his head. Again, the question of her sincerity prodded at his mind. He toyed with the idea of telling her about himself—about how it really wasn’t because of her that he wasn’t interested. But, somehow, he doubted it would have worked. “Not really,” he said.

Jessie laughed. “Oh, you sweet-talker. I’ll win ya over, one of these days. Just you see.”

“Uh-huh.”

She winked and finally turned to open the door to her house. “Well, it’s getting late. Thanks for coming to check on me. And thanks for tonight.” She waved and went inside—but she pushed the door open again just a moment later. “Remember! Offer’s still valid!”

Cloud shut the door in her face.

---

Wall Market was home to many a neon sign, but the most glaring of all to Cloud was the one reiterating just how ace he was in contrast to how horny everyone else seemed to be.

“You two! Yes, you!” shouted a barker standing in front of a rickety-looking inn. “Do you have a place to stay this enchanted evening? We have the perfect room for a sweet-looking couple like you!”

Cloud groaned as Aerith giggled by his side. “No thanks,” he said quickly. And he was the weird one for not being into sex? Maybe some people needed to be slightly less into it, instead.

“But you thought about it, didn’t you?” said Aerith, winking at him.

Cloud rolled his eyes. “Get real.”

She giggled again. “Sorry, sorry. I’m kidding.” She took his arm and gently turned him around. “The nerve of some people, right? Come on. Inn’s this way.”

He let her lead him away as the barker shouted something at their retreating backs. After a few steps, Aerith let go of Cloud’s arm, but kept walking close to him anyway. She seemed to know where she was going, so he took the chance to properly take in his surroundings.

Wall Market was… a lot. A lot of noise, a lot of bright lights, a lot of people. At times, it was almost hard to keep his eyes open. He wondered whether it was a special night, or if every night in Wall Market was like that. It sounded exhausting to exist in any longer than strictly necessary, but maybe he was just wired weird. There was music coming from somewhere—multiple somewheres, in fact, playing a bunch of different songs—and people were dancing, eating, drinking, chatting like they didn’t have a care in the world.

Even Aerith seemed to be enjoying herself just by passing through the crowd. There was a bounce in her step that hadn’t been there earlier in the day, in Sector 5. Cloud realised it was a dance. It was subtle and subdued, but there nonetheless, as if she couldn’t quite ignore the urge to follow the beat, no matter their mission to rescue Tifa. It was strangely endearing, and Cloud briefly wished they had the time to stop so she could dance properly. But they didn’t and, before he knew it, they were in front of the Honeybee Inn’s neon-covered entrance, and the bounce vanished.

“Alright!” exclaimed Aerith, stopping beside him with her hands on her hips. “Let’s go over the plan again.”

Cloud sighed. “It’s not much of a plan. You bargained me away in exchange for disguises.”

She laughed and patted his shoulder. “Oh, don’t be dramatic. I still need you for this mission, I can’t very well just bargain you away. You just have to give the nice people a good show, that’s all.”

Cloud eyed the crowd of drunk and loud perspective spectators lining up outside of the Honeybee Inn. Aerith giggled again. “Besides, I’ll be there too. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“You still haven’t told me what the show is,” groaned Cloud.

Aerith shrugged. “That’s because I don’t know. Haven’t been here before, and the owner didn’t say. Guess we’ll just have to go inside and ask. He should be back by now.”

Stepping inside the Honeybee Inn was like entering a whole new world inside a bubble. The interior of the building was lavishly decorated, clean, and spacious: a far cry from the cramped chaos of the rest of Wall Market. As Aerith walked directly to the reception desk, Cloud looked around the lobby. Mixed in with the steadily growing crowd of customers, there were people dressed in bright yellow and black, some sporting top-hats and vests and some in one of the most ridiculous getups Cloud had ever seen. They were wearing fishnet tights and fuzzy collars, and they had a large plastic ball stuck to their backs, painted to resemble a bee’s sting, as well as antennae and wings.

Cloud had long given up trying to figure out what people found hot about other people, but ‘sexy bee’ had to be a weird one, right?

“Well,” said Aerith, suddenly appearing at his side. “Guess we know why it’s called Honeybee Inn, now.”

Cloud snorted. “Yeah. Talked to the owner?”

“Yep,” said Aerith, popping the p. “They’re waiting for you just through those doors.”

He nodded. “And you?”

She pointed to a bee-girl standing a little bit behind her. “Gonna go get ready now. I’ll see you inside. Break a leg, ‘kay?”

Cloud sighed. “Sure. Let’s get this over with.”

Aerith giggled and waved at him before walking over to the bee-girl, who took her by the elbow and led her into a small side corridor. Cloud took a deep breath and made his way to the door Aerith had pointed out to him, the one that had a sign with a cartoon bee wearing a tutu and ballet shoes.

Inside, he was immediately met by two bee-girls rushing up to him.

“Cloud, right?” asked the taller of the two, taking his arm. “We’ve been waiting for you! Come on, the show’s about to start!”

Cloud frowned. “Hey, hold on—I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing.”

The bee-girls shared a look. “Oh, don’t worry, honey,” said the shorter bee, also tugging him by the arm. “You just follow the lead and everything will be okay. It’s just dancing.”

Cloud sputtered, “Dancing!?”

The first bee-girl gave him a bright smile. “Isn’t it exciting? C’mon, this way!”

“Hey, wait a—”

A few minutes later, Cloud was sitting in a small booth to the side of a large dark room, only illuminated by a few candles set on each table. People were slowly pouring in and Cloud could just about make out stagehands setting something up on the big, raised platform in the back of the hall. The two bee-girls from before were sitting on either side of him, and Cloud wanted nothing more than for them to not.

If he had thought that Jessie’s flirting was uncomfortable, it didn’t hold a candle to the Honeybee Inn girls. They were both pressed against him: one of them had her head on his shoulder, while the other was running her hand along his arm.

“I can’t wait to see you in action,” she said, squeezing his wrist. “I bet you move like a dream.” She winked. “Hey, if you’re up for it, I’m free later tonight for a private showing.”

Cloud grimaced. “I’m not,” he said.

“Oh, that’d be fun,” piped up the other bee-girl, tapping Cloud’s chest. “You sure you can’t spare some time for us?” She put on a cutesy pout.

Cloud kinda wanted to bolt, but he didn’t know where Aerith was, or how he could find her quickly enough to get away from the Honeybee Inn. “Very sure.”

The first bee-girl snapped her fingers and finally leaned away from him. “Oh, I get it! You’re with that girl from before, aren’t you? Shit, sorry, didn’t realise.”

He opened his mouth to deny it, but then closed it. Probably for the best if he let them believe he was taken rather than simply uninterested. He sighed inwardly. Why couldn’t people just take a hint?

The other girl let him go as well. “That brunette in the pink dress? Oh, I see. She’s cute—you guys make a good couple.”

Cloud just hummed, eyes fixed on a point just above the dark stage. He felt his face heat up a bit, but hopefully they couldn’t tell.

The first girl patted him on the shoulder in a way that was much less uncomfortable than before. “Well, good luck. Oh, look, the show’s about to start!”

A single spotlight appeared over the stage, and bee-people started pouring in from the wings as a steady beat grew in volume from the speakers. The bee-girls took Cloud by the arms and dragged him with them to the stage. There, they handed him over to another bee-person, who all but threw him to the spotlight. Once he got there, the beat stopped, and he quickly backed out of the beam of light.

Cloud slowly looked up. He could barely see the audience in the dark, and he couldn’t hear anything but hushed giggles and his own heartbeat pumping loudly in his ears.

Shit.

He looked around. The bee-people were standing still, neatly positioned in two lines at his sides. One of the bee-girls from earlier caught his eyes and motioned to the smile on her face. Cloud scowled at her. The beat started up again, and a bee-guy nodded towards the spotlight.

He sighed. Okay. Fine. Just gotta get through this.

Cloud closed his eyes and straightened up. He was a SOLDIER, trained to control his body and adapt to his surroundings. He could improvise a stupid dance.

As soon as he stepped into the spotlight again, cheers erupted from the audience, as well as applause and whistles. Someone yelled, “Woah, he’s hot!” and Cloud suddenly wanted to turn tail again. Everyone in the hall was looking right at him, and he decided very quickly that he hated it. He wasn’t trained to deal with that.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. The hell do I do?

“Woo! You got this, Cloud!”

Aerith’s voice cut right through the fog in his brain. He shook his head and looked for her. She was sitting in the closest booth to the stage. She’d changed: she was wearing a deep red dress and had red flowers woven into her hair. She gave him a bright grin and a thumbs-up.

Seeing her seemed to snap his mind back in place. Everything was fine. He had no stakes in the stupid dance going well. He just needed to uphold his end of the bargain so he and Aerith could get the hell out of there and go save Tifa.

Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Everything was fine. It was. Aerith was right there and cheering him on. Even if he was stuck up on a stage, under the eyes of a room full of people, he suddenly felt much calmer. He didn’t need to be good, he just needed to get through the show. To hell with the crowd of strangers. But seeing Aerith so excited made him want to at least give her a fun time. He didn’t need to care about the rest of the audience. If he just focused on making her smile, it’d be fine.

When the music came blaring in, the dancing began, and Cloud kept his eyes on Aerith throughout the show.

---

Falling in love with Aerith hurt.

It hurt in a way Cloud had never experienced before. Before, he’d never really given much thought to crushes. He’d realise he liked someone, then shrug and move on. He knew nothing would come of it and, even if it did, he knew that they would leave the second they found out he just wasn’t the full package when it came to relationships.

It had been like that with Tifa, at least for a little bit after they’d reconnected in Midgar. So what if Cloud had still sort of liked her? Why tell her if all the possible outcomes led to awkwardness and embarrassment? Either she didn’t like him, and that would’ve been that, or she did and then she would have left anyway after finding out he was ace. Rejection was lying in wait, sooner or later, and it just wasn’t worth the trouble. So Cloud had just… waited it out. It really hadn’t been that hard, in hindsight. He’d been busy, after all. His doomed love life could wait.

And then… and then he’d met Aerith.

Falling in love with her had snuck up on him. One day, they were friends forged by circumstances and a common enemy. The next, he’d woken up in their party’s shared tent to Aerith having curled up to him in her sleep, and he’d thought that he never wanted to leave that moment, that he wanted to hug her, hold her close, and share every morning with her for the rest of his life.

Except he couldn’t.

There was no way Aerith liked him that way—not when she was so incredibly charming, funny, spirited, and beautiful, and Cloud was just… Cloud. She deserved the world, not someone who struggled with grasping a simple high-five.

And if, somehow, it turned out that she did love him back, that still wouldn’t have solved anything. Even in his lowest moments, Cloud couldn’t quite bring himself to believe that she would have been disgusted by him being asexual, but she had the right to not want to be with someone who couldn’t offer her that side of a relationship.

He knew she wasn’t ace—first off, because almost nobody else was, but also because he’d sometimes overheard her talk with Tifa, no matter how hard he tried not to listen in. But Aerith didn’t have a shy bone in her body, and so Cloud had learned that she’d had at least a few one-night-stands and a couple of boyfriends over the years—curiously, though, never someone from Sector 5. She’d never gone into much detail, thankfully, but it was enough for Cloud to never even develop the faintest hope that, maybe, she was like him.

Once again, he’d decided to just wait it out. But it was so much harder than it had been with Tifa. Aerith was her own centre of gravity, and Cloud couldn’t help it if he loved being drawn into her orbit. He couldn’t push her away when she joined him to chat while he kept watch at night, he couldn’t help but be happy whenever they were sent to scout out an area together, he couldn’t stop watching out for her reactions whenever he said something funny or cool. It wasn’t so much that it was hard not to act on his feelings, but it just hurt to know he never could.

Cloud had never wished he was normal, not until Aerith. He’d tried, he’d tried so hard to be normal for her, to not be ace. He’d tried putting himself in the shoes of someone who could be sexually attracted to people, but he didn’t know how to. He didn’t know how it was supposed to feel, what he was supposed to think. Aerith was gorgeous and so vibrantly alive that sometimes it felt like he was looking at the sun. If he wasn’t attracted to her in that way, then he doubted he ever could be, to anyone.

So, that left him no choice but to keep his damn mouth shut and push down those feelings until they either went away or became a dull ache in the back of his mind that he could learn to live with.

“Whatcha thinking about?”

Cloud looked up from the campfire to find Aerith standing just outside the tent, wrapped in a blanket and wearing a small, tired, smile.

You, he thought.

“Nothing,” he said.

“Me too,” said Aerith. She walked close, sat down next to him, and draped her blanket over his shoulders as well as hers. “Mind if I keep you company?”

Cloud shrugged, even though his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. “Suit yourself.”

She smiled. “Think I will.” She leaned against his shoulder and closed her eyes.

Cloud exhaled quietly.

It hurt, but seeing her leave would have hurt more.

---

Cloud woke up with a sharp intake of breath, but he didn’t open his eyes right away.

Where am I?

He was lying on hard and uneven ground, with something jutting uncomfortably into his shoulder. His clothes were wet and sticky, and a light breeze was making him shiver. People were whispering around him, and someone was holding his hand over his chest.

What happened?

He’d been… asleep, but dreaming about the Lifestream. Tifa had been there, floating in his dream and helping him put it together like a puzzle, until the picture was clear and Cloud was himself again, rather than a pale and pathetic imitation of the SOLDIER he’d failed to be.

He clutched the hand holding his a little bit tighter. He needed the grounding.

“Cloud?” called a voice in a whisper, a voice he could have picked up even in the middle of a thunderstorm. “Cloud, are you…?”

His eyelids were heavy, but he managed to pry them open, just so he could see her. She was kneeling right beside him, his hand in hers and eyes shiny with tears. She had a trembling smile on her face, and she looked dishevelled and frazzled.

But she was there, and she was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.

He tried to speak. “A-Aerith…” he said, like a prayer, as he tried to push himself upright.

But she had other plans. “Cloud!” she exclaimed, breathless. She let go of his hand and threw her arms around his neck, pushing him back to the ground as she held him tight.

Cloud wrapped his arms around her middle out of reflex and relief. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and took a deep, shaky breath. She’s here. She’s real. “Aerith,” he murmured, just because he could. I love you, I love you, I love you.

She let out a weak laugh and pulled him up into a sitting position without ever letting go of him. “You’re here,” she whispered, a hair away from his ear. “You’re okay. Right?”

He chuckled quietly. “Think so.”

Aerith held him tighter. “Thank goodness.”

Other people were still talking around them, but Cloud didn’t pay them any mind. He could feel Aerith’s hummingbird-fast heartbeat against his chest, and he wondered if she could feel his in the same way.

She let go of him just enough to look him in the eyes. She cupped his face in her hands and gently wiped a tear from his cheek—he hadn’t known he was crying. He did the same for her.

“Hey,” he whispered, because he didn’t know what to say.

Aerith smiled. “I’ve been looking for you,” she said, voice dripping with emotion. “There you are.”

Then she kissed him, soft and salty from the tears.

Cloud had never been kissed before. His eyes snapped wide open and then squeezed shut, and he balled his hands into the back of her jacket as he pulled her closer, unsure but determined. Aerith hummed, a quiet vibration that echoed all the way down to his chest, which was so tight that it felt like he was going to explode. In that moment, nothing else mattered.

Aerith pulled away from him for a second. She made a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob and said, “You’re back, you’re back, you’re back!”

Cloud laughed. “I’m back.” And then he drew her into another warm kiss.

Someone laughed behind her. “Alright, alright, lovebirds, get a room,” said Barret. “C’mon, Aerith, give the guy some space. We were all worried sick.”

Cloud wanted to protest that he didn’t want any space from her, but she huffed good-naturedly and let him go. She didn’t go far, though. She settled down next to him and took his hand again, squeezing it gently.

Cloud finally looked around. All of his friends were there and everyone was smiling.

He smiled as well and tightened his hold on Aerith’s hand. She grinned and leaned against him, shoulder to shoulder. “Welcome back,” she said.

For that one, single moment, everything was perfect.

---

Aerith had told him that she loved him.

Cloud lay awake in his bed in the Kalm Inn, as his mind kept replaying her face and her voice. It seemed impossible. But, then again, he’d seen his fair share of impossible things lately.

They’d defeated Sephiroth.

Holy and the Lifestream had destroyed Meteor.

They’d saved the world.

Aerith loved him.

Cloud ran a hand over his face. She lovedhim. He’d managed to say it back, in a surprised stuttering fashion, and she’d just laughed and kissed him. His heart had felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. She loved him.

He cast a glance at the wall to his right. Aerith was asleep in the room right next to Cloud’s, probably mumbling quietly into her pillow. He wanted to run to her and tell her that he loved her over and over and over, to whisper it in her hands and on her lips until he stopped feeling like he was overflowing with it, if it was even possible. He ached to see her, to talk to her, to make her smile. He couldn’t wait for the morning.

But he also dreaded it. He, this, they were running out of time. With every day that he got to spend by Aerith’s side, Cloud was painfully more and more aware of the fact that he hadn’t told her yet. About being asexual.

Aerith hadn’t brought up sex yet. Cloud figured that she thought he wanted to take things slowly in that regard. He felt as if he was tricking her, stringing her along on the implicit promise of a candle that would never light. He just… hadn’t been able to find the words, or the moment. At least, that’s what he told himself.

In reality, he was just selfish. Cloud knew that his time with Aerith was limited, so he kept quiet to delay the end. He wanted to cherish the days he spent by her side, the days that would come to a screeching halt as soon as he came out to her and confessed that he couldn’t give her all she wanted from a relationship. Love wasn’t going to be enough.

Cloud sighed and covered his eyes with his arm. He was being so selfish. It was unfair to her.

I have to tell her.

There was never going to be a ‘right moment,’ or a right way to do it. He just needed to rip off the band-aid, no matter how much it would hurt to see the disappointment on her face. No matter how much it would hurt to never be able to hold her again.

All he could hope for was that she wouldn’t stop being his friend.

---

“Asexual?”

Cloud winced. He couldn’t read the emotion in her voice, and he wasn’t looking at her, either. There: it was done, as ungracefully as he did most things that required talking. He’d just blurted it out, and now Aerith knew and he just had to wait for the break-up.

“Uh, yeah,” he said, picking at the blades of grass at the side of their picnic cloth. “It means that I’m—”

“I know what it means,” said Aerith, gently.

Cloud let out a small sigh of relief. Thank god.

“Zack explained it to me forever ago,” continued Aerith. She chuckled fondly. “One time, he showed up to a date night yelling about how he’d helped one of his friends figure out he was ace. He was very proud.”

Cloud laughed mirthlessly. “Yeah. That, uh, that was me. Probably.”

“Oh. Small world.” She paused. “You’ve known for a long time, then.”

He nodded, still without looking at her.

“Okay,” said Aerith.

Cloud frowned. “Okay?”

“I understand. Thank you for telling me—I’m glad you trust me with this.”

He winced. “I’m sorry.”

“Hm? Why are you sorry?”

He finally looked at her. She had a perplexed expression on her face and her head was tilted to the side in confusion. Cloud gestured vaguely with his hands. “Y’know…” he started. It was hard to speak. “I’m sorry about… this.”

Aerith frowned. “This,” she repeated. Then, a flash passed over her face. “Hey, just so we’re on the same page… Are you breaking up with me?”

Cloud winced again. Did she want him to do it? “I mean—I know you—” He cut himself off and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Aerith looked at him for a long moment, then her expression softened. “Cloud,” she said, reaching out to take his hands. “Lemme rephrase that. Do you think I’m going to break up with you?”

He didn’t meet her eyes. He sighed. “Well… yeah,” he confessed quietly. “You deserve to be with someone who—”

“Cloud,” she interrupted. She held his hands tighter. “I don’t want to break up. Do you?”

He froze. Slowly, he turned to look at Aerith again. She was smiling softly, and stroking his hands with her thumbs. “…No,” he breathed. “But—”

“Then it’s settled!” she let go of his hands to move the remains of their picnic aside and then scooted closer to him. She brushed his hair out of his face and smiled. “Ya had me scared there for a second.”

Cloud shook his head. “What? I told you, I’m—”

“Ace. I got that. And that’s okay,” she said. She pressed a light kiss against his lips. Cloud couldn’t help but melt into it. “Cloud, it’s okay,” she said when she pulled away.

He frowned and took her hand. “Aerith, look.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t know what’s going through your head, but I need you to understand.”

Aerith nodded with a smile. “Of course.”

Cloud sighed. “I’m asexual. And I—I don’t think I ever want to have sex. With anyone. Ever.” He ran a hand over his face. “I—I love you. So much. But I just… I can’t. I can’t give you that. I wish I could.” He looked away. “I’m sorry.”

Aerith gently turned his face back towards her. “I love you too,” she said. “And that’s why I’m not breaking up with you.”

“…What?” he stared at her.

She shrugged. “I like sex, sure. But I like you a lot more.” She smiled. “I don’t care if we never do it. I don’t care if you’re not into me that way. There’s more to a relationship than sex. I want to be with you. And, if you want to be with me too, that’s all that matters.”

Cloud blinked down at her, at a loss. He’d been bracing himself for so long, and the blow hadn’t come. But he was still wound up tight as a spring. Aerith smiled and opened her arms. Cloud let out a shuddering half-laugh and let her pull him into a hug. He buried his face in the crook of her neck. “Thank you,” he murmured into her skin.

Aerith giggled and tapped her fingers on his back. “What for? Silly.”

Cloud sighed deeply as the tension left him. “I was scared. So scared.”

She hummed. “I know. The whole time we’ve been together?” He nodded. “Sorry about that. I’m glad we could clear this up.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I was so sure you’d—” He shook his head. “I was so sure I was gonna hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

Aerith pulled away a bit. “I get why you didn’t.” She looked down and bit her lip. “Cloud, you’ll tell me if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, right?”

Cloud furrowed his brows. “Hm?”

She found his hand. “I’m a little worried you might feel like you need to force yourself to be okay with things that aren’t okay. For my sake.” She smiled. “You don’t have to. Just talk to me, and we can figure out a compromise. ‘Kay?”

“Oh.” Cloud rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. I will. Uh, same for you.”

Aerith nodded and gave his hand a light squeeze. “Okay.” She leaned closer to him, then paused. “Just checking—you are cool with me kissing you, right?”

Cloud laughed and pressed his lips against hers. “So cool,” he said.

Aerith giggled. “Awesome,” she said, and kissed him again.

He pulled her close and poured all the love and relief he was feeling into the embrace.

He wasn’t broken, he’d never been broken. But he loved being with someone who helped him believe that.