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#last time it was acid at my wedding with my wife...
seth-burroughs · 4 months
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I did rotate a NDA/Amaterasu swap au in my head a few months back but I just got reminded of it now again soooo, some notes:
(ended up going a bit more loose with the swapping, essentially yuma is the homunculus and makoto's got amnesia, the NDA is Seth/Guillaume/Dominic/Martina with chief Yomi, the (post-ch0) peacekeepers are halara/desuhiko/fubuki/yakou with director Vivia because I sincerely think Yakou is too cringe for that. And just for the hehehe, Huesca is now Makoto's terrible shinigami while Shinigami dumps acid on people in the lab)
Makoto and Yuma change places but their personalities stay pretty similiar. Makoto keeps his eccentricity to #Cope and doesn't really trust others due to the whole amnesia thing. Yuma on the other hand becomes a prey animal after the entire homunculus event
I'm not exactly sure about the other fortes of the NDA except for Guillaume (who can alter the future with the requirement of having to use a plausible horoscope format, though i guess it's good she's having fun with it?) and Dominic (who is like, it's less that he's having a forte and more that he's just a super OP augmented human that has been through surgeries that made him able to shoot lasers out his eyes or something. we can even call him somewhat of an artificially created forte haver. he feels.... a lot of things regarding the whole thing). I do have a few ideas for Seth that I cannot articulate properly, but my mind just draws a blank on Martina. Maybe she gets some persuasion powers? like, if she focuses long enough on unethically interrogating some person or even just trying to get information out of a peacekeeper, they just eventually start uncontrollably spilling the beans via her cool mind control psychic powers affecting their thoughts and judgment and shit. Since that was similiar to her regular hobby in canon. Anyway that's in the works for now
Yomi is the chief of the NDA (for the longest time though it wasn't an agency even he just literally worked alone. not because detectives got discriminated against back then like in canon, but because he thought everyone who applied was extremely annoying for not meeting his impossible standards), and like Yakou in canon he does not have a forte. However, he acts pretty proud of it and how he unlike those other gifteds, actually had to put in effort and work harder for that position. He really hates his coworkers for having it that easy and and never passes up an opportunity to act superior to them and undermine everything they ever do, and invents slurs for people with magic powers. Very visibly actions of somebody that is actually totally confident in their abilities and themselves all along
He wasn't at all prepared for getting new subordinates, the WDO just called him at literal last minute saying they're gonna be delivering detectives to his sub the same week, then just hung up. He spent the next two days furiously vacuuming the place and throwing darts at the picture of master detective wikipedia article he printed out to put on his wall
He's very proud of his incredibly cool, glorious submarine he got with his own money back in the Glory Days. He's a very "stop fucking touching that get your hands off that furniture don't pick that up DON'T MOVE THHSE FFFUCKING SOPOT TRIP MAGNETS if you knock that over im gonna kill you make any mess in my sub and im gonna waterboard you in the shower" type of guy with his belongings. He doesn't appreciate the NDA being there and touching stuff. Unless they wanna sweep the floors in which case put on the maid suit Makoto. But he's still gonna just sit there in his chair and watch him and yell at him every ten seconds that he's doing it wrong
His personal "dead wife moment" was when Dr. Shizuka (Shinigami) ran over his darling boytoy hitman Zilch Alexander with her truck and reversed on him over four times before driving off . it was the night of their wedding
Halara is the chief of the investigations team, and is actually mildly interested in actually investigating the cases themself. Used to have aspirations to become a detective in their younger days, but didn't think it would be more beneficial to them than, say, becoming a peacekeeper. With their cool immunity benefits and pay. They love money, definitely not above bribery either. Still love cats more than humans.
Extremely confident in their strength and superior intelligence, to the point of feeling simply untouchable. They never quite considered the possibility of actually finding out after fucking around for such a long time during the nail man killings, and when director Vivia plainly told them they're fired and going to the chopper for that, their mind just short circuited for a moment from the influx of this incomprehensible information. Of course, they did not let themself get taken away, but are from that point on the run.
They think they're the smartest person in the room, however they never actually went through any training in being a detective or anything like that, and thus can.... severely overestimate their ability to get away with things. Especially when Vivia's around. Oh well!
Director Vivia is. Well first of all are you familiar with dark era Dazai bsd just asking for no particular reason. He allows himself to get pretty silly with it every once in a while, but generally he's just. Personality of canon Vivia with the sadism of canon Yomi, but also Not Really
Doesn't really like shows of power that much, and prefers to stay out of public as much as he can; whenever he is called to take care of a case himself, he will make it very clear he's too pissed off to tolerate any Funny Stuff. Eerily aware of everything that happens in his city, he possesses a lot of knowledge that he realistically just shouldn't even have access to. His subordinates treat him as some sort of powerful eldritch god. He's pretty apathetic to it though.
Yomi acts really weird whenever he's mentioned for some reason.
Nowwww onto Yakou, Vivia's slutty slutty vice-director.... haha just kidding, he's just replacing his wife for the week. She's at home sick <3
Kind of really cringe and not evil enough for this, but Vivia still wants him to get a divorce eventually. He's kind of the only person that isn't batshit scared of Vivia, because they actually did bond over at some rooftop smoking cigarettes looking into each other's eyes one night a few years back. And also he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the many benefits of being the director's faaaaaavouriiite~ a bit.
He's not a good person by any means do not get fooled by his wet rat charm. None of the NDA-turned-peacekeepers are good people now, not even Fubuki who loves to explode things for fun or Desuhiko who's honestly really just an underqualified nepo baby in this au
If anyone is curious about this then my ask box is open. I just kinda got too sleepy right now and left the summary at just that, but there was probably more that I forgot........
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angelitadiaz · 5 months
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Anthony Bridgerton x reader
~A Letter To My Wife~
Description: When Anthony's mother, Violet Bridgerton, decides it's time for her eldest son to be married, she calls on her oldest friend. Your mother agrees to the union of both families, but you quickly come to realize your husband won't think of you as a wife.
Warnings: None
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You remembered the day your mother told you about the arranged marriage. You had only seen him when you visited Daphne at Aubrey Hall. Visiting during the summers always left you feeling a sense of freedom. Forgetting that someday you will be married off to an older gentleman eager for an heir.
That's why when your mother told you who you were marrying, you were glad it was him. You looked forward to forming a friendship and, hopefully, one day, growing old together. You dreamt that night of the children you would have and woke up with a smile.
"I wish for our marriage not to have love. I want it to be strictly for an image." You stood there, a white gown with a veil over your head, hiding your tears as your father led you down the aisle. When he gave your hand to him, you couldn't help but look back, almost begging him for help.
The ceremony seemed to last an eternity. You were ready to depart from the church and feel the gentle breeze the outside offered. You felt him grip your hands tighter and only looked at him confused. The bishop repeated his question, and everyone held their breath only, releasing them when you said, "I do."
Feeling Anthony's hand move up to your veil, you missed the feeling of it when he tossed it back. He looked at your puffy eyes that were filled with tears looking away quickly. You noticed both of your families confused your sadness with happiness, not knowing the loveless marriage you would have.
As he led you towards the exit, you felt a strange feeling in your belly. It wasn't butterflies. It felt like acid, and it was slowly creeping up to your throat. You didn't bother looking at him and only waited for both families to congratulate you.
Once they exited the first one to congratulate the married couple was Violet Bridgerton. She gave you a hug before she moved on to her son. You waited there patiently for your mother, but she came last after your father. She pulled you aside and explained the wedding night you would have. Hearing what she told you, you couldn't imagine doing such a vulgar act with no love.
Once you left in the carriage, you took subtle glances at Anthony, only annoying him in the process. "Do you wish to say something to me, Miss Cupping? Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Bridgerton?" You sat there shocked at the witty response he had given you for staring. Not trying to ruin the marriage further, like it would matter, you stayed quiet.
It took a while to get to what you thought would be Bridgerton house, but instead, it was another. "Welcome to Petunia Estate. Your new home for now." You looked at him confused and glanced at the building before you.
"Will you be living here too, my Lord?" Anthony chuckled to himself and played it off as a joke. "Oh, heavens no. I will stay at the country estate with my family while you stay here." Before you could question him, he walked to the carriage and left quickly after.
You tried following the carriage before your maid, Adelaide, came after you. "My Lady! You must come inside! It is too dangerous at this time!"
You gave up and felt a teardrop fall onto your cheek. Your gloved hand reached for it, making you cry harder. Staring at it, you contemplated the life you would have.
A loveless marriage where your husband pretends you don't exist and would only treat you as a baby machine. You would never have the life you wanted. You would never experience raising your children with your husband. You would never be allowed to see his family with him, not there. You would never be allowed to experience falling in love and fighting for the relationship.
That's the life you wanted. That's the life you could only dream of.
Adelaide gave you a squeeze of comfort on your shoulder. She placed her arm onto your back and led you to your new home.
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As time passed, you had gotten used to the routine. Waking up, getting ready, eating, time for any hobby, eating, and sleeping. You quickly learned the joy of not having anyone, or more specifically, a husband bothering you. Anthony not being in Petunia Estate offered solace to you.
As Adelaide was helping you into your dress, you heard voices coming from the hallway. You looked at Adelaide, questioning her but only receiving a confused shrug. Before she was able to start on your hair, Hyacinth came rushing into your room.
"Hello, dear sister. I have not seen you in ages, how have you been?" You let out a chuckle, "Good morning to you, Hyacinth. I have been well, bored out of my mind without you."
Before you had gotten married, you briefly met Anthony's family, only clicking with Hyacinth. Her purity and laughter were what brought you hope and peace of mind. As well as the many promises she instilled on to you.
"Sister, have you sewn all the dresses I have asked you for?" Before you could answer, you heard another pair of shoes. "Hyacinth, she is not your sister. She is Vicountess Bridgerton." Locking eyes with Anthony only seemed to make you emotional. Ignoring him, you tried to lift up Hyacinth's spirit.
"Come, sister, I will lead you to your new dresses." Excitingly, she grabbed your hand and let you lead her to another room. Anthony followed, only looking at Hyacinth's smile.
Before letting his eyes shift to you. He couldn't explain it, but your eyes shone brightly. And your smile, oh your smile, was absolutely genuine and flawless. His eyes were on you for the remainder of the time with Hyacinth.
When you were done, you helped Hyacinth carry the boxes, laughing amongst yourselves. When suddenly you felt Anthony grab on to the boxes you were holding. Avoiding eye contact, he said, "a Viscountess should not be doing any manual labor."
"Viscount Bridgerton, it was only boxes. Additionally, I have had to carry much heavier-"
"Are you telling me the staff here don't help you?" Shocked, you looked at him and called onto your maid.
"Adelaide. Could you please show the Viscount and my dear sister to the carriage? I forgot another box that I meant to give to Hyacinth."
Adelaide nodded, bowing to you before leading the siblings to the carriage. You went back to your room, finding a ruby necklace and earrings. Running to catch the carriage, you yelled, "Hyacinth!"
The bubbly girl turned around, smiling at you before going to give you a hug. You quickly and tenderly reciprocated the affection kissing her on her temple.
"Hyacinth, this is a gift for you. It is a thanks for all of the love that you have shown me since the beginning. I hope you like it!" Hyacinth gasped and gently opened the box. A necklace with a delicate design along with earrings starred back at her.
"Sister! This is beautiful, I shall treasure it for the rest of my life." Once again, she gave you a hug that lasted longer. Smiling, you held her there until Anthony called onto her so they could leave.
She entered the carriage holding onto her jewels and waving goodbye to you. You waved back at her before noticing Anthony, looking at you. You turned to him, curtsied down out of duty, and made your way into your home.
What you failed to notice was Anthony reaching out for you. Having longing puppy eyes following you until the door engulfed your image. He let his hand join his side before he gripped his fingers together and joined Hyacinth in the carriage.
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Another month passed, and today, you were going to visit the Bridgerton home. Before Anthony came to get you, you decided to wake up earlier and bake some cakes and cookies for the Bridgertons to enjoy.
Walking into the kitchen, you noticed one of your cooks, Henry. He was an older man who you had learned to see as your grandfather. You would join him in the kitchen to hear the stories of his travels and would occasionally let you taste the food.
"Good morning, Henry! It is nice to see you on this beautiful morning." You said before giving the man a kiss on the cheek.
"Good morning, to you too! Tell me, what are you baking today? But most importantly, how was your sleep."
"It was wonderful until I remembered I would have to see Anthony and go to his home."
Henry chuckled, "At least you will see Hyacinth there, and maybe you'll see your old friend Daphne."
"That's true, I look forward to seeing them today, at least." You turned away from Henry to collect the ingredients and supplies you would need. "I plan to make a chocolate cake with a strawberry filling, and some biscuits for tea."
"Will you need help before I start preparing for dinner tonight?"
"Yes, please, Henry! You make the best biscuits! Your cooking and baking are just delicious."
Henry helped you bake and prepare while having a conversation with you. He talked to you about his grandson, who had recently started school thanks to your contribution. You asked about his wife, Charlie, to which he could talk about hours.
Before you knew it, the cake and biscuits were in the oven before both of you noticed the Viscount. "I wondered where Viscountess Bridgerton had run off to. It was a good choice coming here earlier than what I had informed."
Henry, out of respect, bowed to Anthony. "I was helping Lady Bridgerton with her baking. She wanted to bake some sweets for your family."
"Is that so?" Anthony pushed his hands back before turning towards you. Before he could make eye contact with you, you turned to Henry hugging him.
"Thank you, Henry. I will be back for the cakes when we're about to leave, but I must look precentable before I do."
You called onto Adelaide so she could help you get ready. While she did your makeup, you asked, "Adelaide, when did Anthony arrive at the Estate?"
"Around ten past seven. He was eager to find you, my lady, saying he needed to speak to you. He waited at the entrance and asked me to come get you. When it was twenty-five past seven, he decided to look for you himself."
"And that's how he found me in the kitchen"
"Exactly, my Lady."
"Thank you, Adelaide. For your hard work." She curtsied before continuing with your hair. When you were finally ready, you made your way to the kitchen with Adelaide to get the sweets. As you were descending the stairs, you saw Anthony waiting for you out of the corner of your eye. You went into the kitchen smelling the heavenly smell of freshly baked sweets.
Adelaide helped you with the biscuits as you took the cake to quickly assemble and decorate. On your way out, Anthony pleaded he should take the cake so you wouldn't have to burn yourself. You answered that you were fine and walked away from him with Adelaide following behind you.
You had Adelaide join you inside of the carriage, so it wouldn't be so awkward having Anthony there with you, staring at you. You made a brief conversation with your maid before feeling the carriage come to a stop.
Anthony hurriedly got out before offering one of his hands to you. Instead, you took the cake and gave it to him so he could carry it for you. You heard Adelaide chuckle to herself before you exited the carriage.
You looked at the Bridgerton Estate and wondered how it would feel to live there. Remembering your routine, you quickly thought of not being able to enjoy your hobbies throughout the day. Having to please Mr. Bridgerton, and having to please the ton with their abrasive thoughts.
Quickly collecting yourself, you took the cake from the Viscount and made your way inside of the home.
Anthony smelled the faint and sweet fragrance of your perfume. He imagined waking up to your scent every morning: wanting to wrap himself around you at all times. He slowly smiled to himself before he felt a stare on him. Lady Danbury was greeting his wife while also looking at him with a sharp, judgmental stare.
He collected himself before offering to help Adelaide with the biscuits. To which she had also rejected, leaving him feeling embarrassed and useless.
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Entering the home's calling room or lounge area, you quickly heard Violet scolding her children for being too rowdy. "Please, could all of you behave before the Viscountess gets here?" You entered before anyone could have noticed your presence.
"Lady Bridgerton, this is their home after all. I do not wish to make them uncomfortable, let alone incredibly bored." Violet turned towards you before letting herself relax and offered you a hug. You pulled away, showing the Dowager Viscountess the cake and biscuits you had prepared.
"I have made this for today. I hope you enjoy them, they were made with much love." She looked at you endearingly before happily accepting the baked goods and placing them on the table.
"Sister! You have come!" You turned around and was immediately engulfed in a tight hug. Laughing, you picked up the girl while still hugging her and spun her around. Hyacinth giggled and dragged you to one of the coaches so she could share some chocolates with you.
Violet smiled at the relationship you had with her youngest and only wished for this moment to last longer. Then she remembered that her son was supposed to be with you.
"Y/N, where is Anthony? I thought he was supposed to be with you?"
"He did come with me, but Lady Danbury asked me to give them a moment together. It shouldn't be long until they come here." She only nodded at your response before sitting down next to Benedict.
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"Lord Bridgerton, it seems you have become infatuated with your wife. What happened to the loveless marriage you planned on having?"
"I have no idea or interest in what you are talking about. Excuse me for trying to help my wife." Lady Danbury only sighed out of entertainment and eyed the man up and down.
"We both know that is not true, or else you would have not sniffed the air to catch the perfume of your wife." Anthony felt caught and blushed red.
"It was a scent I had smelled on other ladies. It has become quite popular, it seems.'' Danbury only rolled her eyes before shoving her cane into his stomach.
"Don't be stupid, my Lord. You have feelings for said girl, and I advise you before another man learns of her situation and chooses to take advantage of her. She was sought out by the queen for one of her sons after all." With that, the Lady made her way with the rest of the family leaving Anthony to think.
' Is it true that men would want to take advantage of his wife.' Anthony felt himself become more series at the idea of men wanting to touch you. But he also recognized that he didn't talk to you or made any advancements to get to know you better.
What he did recognize was the strange feeling blooming from his heart. From the moment he saw you getting close to Hyacinth before the wedding had him imagining you as a mother. How gentle and serene you were had love blooming, and he couldn't shake off those feelings.
He wondered how it would have felt to take care of you on your wedding night. Would you be with child right now? Giving hope for the next generation of Bridgertons. Would you have a baby cradled around your arms? A mix of both him and you.
When he walked in, he stopped himself and caught himself staring at you. You had Augie in your lap bouncing him on your leg while also tickling him. The laughter of Augie could be heard around the room as well as your own.
"You'll make such a wonderful mother one day, dear." You would, thought Anthony. He couldn't take it anymore. He needed to talk to you and ask you to move into Bridgerton home with him. But he caught himself.
Would you even accept? What if you only had hate for him since your conversation before your wedding? What if you admitted to never loving him or never wanting to have children?
He would think about that in the near future, for now, though he would admire you with your nephew. Dreaming of the children he would one day have with you.
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As you exited the home, you couldn't shake off the feeling of being watched. Turning around, you saw your husband staring at you with such gentle eyes. Before you could say anything, he spoke, "You were wonderful with Augie."
You looked at him before answering him, looking at the ground as you did, "Thank you, my Lord. I wish to one day have children of my own and-"
"Do you wish that with me?" You looked at him in shock. "My pardon, what was the question?"
"Do you wish that with me? Children, I mean." Your mouth was left agape hearing Anthony speak of children with you.
"My Lord, where is this question coming from? We barely know each other, why now?" Anthony caught himself before he could say anything else. He only looked down, " Of course, I apologize. It seems your carriage has arrived, I bid you a good night, Viscountess." He hastily grabbed your hand before kissing it and nodding in your direction.
You took your hand back and walked towards the carriage. Entering you, you noticed how Anthony stayed there looking at you before you felt the carriage move.
Adelaide sat across of you with a worry flashed throughout her face. "My Lady, are you feeling well? Your eyes are wider than usual, did something happen with Mr. Bridgerton?" You could only look at her thinking of what to say.
"He asked me if I wanted children with him." Adelaide choked on air, apologizing for her rash reaction. "I beg your pardon, he asked for children?"
"It seems so, Adelaide. But, what does it mean?" She could only shrug and question the situation herself. "What if he has feelings for you. Did you see the way he looked at you while you held the Duchess's son? He seemed quite infatuated with you."
Laughing amongst each other, you held onto each other, fanning yourselves for more air. "That is quite the claim, Adelaide." Wiping her tears, she said, "I only report what I see my Lady."
Feeling the carriage come to a stop, you exited slowly going to your room. Adelaide helped you out of your dress and into your night one before seeing herself out. You stayed sitting in front of your vanity, looking at yourself before thinking of Anthony.
Your heart was beating quickly, and your breaths shortened, too. You lifted your hand and traced your collarbone with your fingers before letting them fall onto your breaths. Taking a sharp breath, you allowed your fingers to fall farther, trying to find the strange pleasure you were feeling between your legs.
You pushed yourself off of the chair before blowing the candles and tucking yourself in your bed. Not being able to sleep, you thought of the day you had.
Hyacinth enjoyed your baked pastries, insisting you teach her how to make them. You remembered how happy you were seeing Daphne with her little baby, Augie. She seemed excited to see you not hesitating to catch up with her childhood friend. During the conversation, she had you hold Augie while she went to get herself a piece of your cake.
Remembering little Augie, you smiled to yourself, making him laugh was one of the highlights of your day, and you were proud to call him your dear nephew. Then your mind went back to Anthony and him asking you about children. Did he truly want them with you? Was there still a chance for both of you to fall in love and have the life you had dreamed about?
You shook your head sighing before forcing yourself to sleep. What normally took you a minute took you forever. You couldn't fall asleep and was uncomfortable in your bed, moving around trying to find a position to sleep in.
You got out of your bed and decided to go to the kitchen to get yourself a glass of milk. While heading down, you noticed one of your doormen holding a letter talking to Adelaide, whispering amongst each other.
"Adelaide, what's going on?" Frightened, she sharply turned her head towards you, "My Lady. It seems you have gotten a letter from Viscount Bridgerton."
"It is night. Why would he send a letter so late?"
"I do not know, my Lady. Do you wish to read it now or in the morning?"
"I shall read it in my room now. Thank you, Adelaide." She nodded and passed the letter to you before you made your way back to the room. Sitting on your vanity chair, you hesitated, opening it before closing your eyes.
You breathed in and then out and opened the letter.
Dear Viscountess Bridgerton,
I wish you well. Although I am not there with you at Petunia Estate, I want you to know that I think of you daily. In my dreams, my thoughts, and my words. Though it seems sometimes that I do not care for you, know that you have changed me through your actions.
A loveless marriage was what I wanted, but what I need is Your love. I want our children to experience the same love I have seen in my parents. To know that their parents know no bounds to love. To know that our love is so great, it extends to them.
I know you think, 'The Viscount is surely saying this sweet nothings out of pity,' and I assure you, I am not. I am mad, obsessed, and addicted to you. The very thought of you sends a feeling in my chest. The one I never thought I would feel again.
I adore you. I am mesmerized by you. I am fascinated by you. I am in love with you. I seek your very presence in the lonely rooms with souls who lie behind my back. I seek your thoughts and emotions because I want to learn about you. I seek your scent because it drives me insane knowing that I could wake up every morning to that scent. I seek you because I want you.
I want the life you told your mother you wanted. I want the life where we grow old together and watch out grandchildren laugh and run around. I want the life where we can be so open about our love, others become envious. I want the life where I wake up to you, talk to you, and love you.
I do not expect for you to write me back, but know I will surely send you more. I'll send them until you personally tell me stop, but will I? No. Because I will do anything in my power to have you.
Sincerely,
Your Husband
Viscount Bridgerton
You let out a breath you had been holding. It was true, Anthony had fallen for you. You read the letter once again and decided to write back until his next letter.
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tetsunabouquet · 10 months
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Basic Instinct Epilogue
A/N: Thank you for the ride everyone, I love every single person who liked, commented, reviewed, you are all so dear to me. Oh god, I feel like I'm getting very emotional, Basic Instinct really was my first baby on the internet after the many 'miscarriages' I wrote back when I was a teen. I feel like hugging my computer until it crashes in my arms! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I also low-key want to thank The Acid for their song. Basic Instinct had such a wonderful vibe I just needed for this story!
Ten years have passed since the day Akashi moved in with his grandmother. Thanks to her trying to help your mom, your mom had improved greatly and seeing her return to the mom you had known before her relapse was the greatest gift you had ever been given. Masaomi, on the other hand, had always remained somewhat of an eyesore. You had been as graceful as you could and Akashi had complimented you for holding out as long as you did until that one dinner party about 5 years ago. It had been the time when the two of you had began discussing marriage and planning out your future together. At that point, you had been with each other for 5 years and were certain enough your relationship was one of lasting nature. Masaomi had attended the dinner were Akashi had announced to his grandmother that the two of you were intending to look for engagement rings. Rima had been overjoyed at the news, having considered you her granddaughter already at that point. Masaomi, being the unsupportive douchebag he is, wasn't happy with the news. Whilst he had always been a little too stiff and formal with you around, he hadn't dared to act coldly in front of you. But this time, his disapproval had outweighed his fear for his mother in law on a level none had ever seen before. "Seijuro, I have tolerated this romance of yours because you had to make a scene about it but this is enough-" Masaomi hadn't been able to finish his sentence because of Rima suddenly stabbing his chicken with her knife, her eyes looking scary in a way you had previously only seen before on Akashi's other personality. The air had been tense, and neither you or Akashi dared to move or say a word. After Masaomi had been kicked out, Akashi had held you reassuringly, promising you that his father was simply an malicious idiot for not seeing how happy you made him, how wonderful of a wife you'd be. You had tried not to kiss him, considering Rima had still been present, but you still ended up giving him a warm peck. Masaomi, naturally, hadn't been invited to the wedding, neither any of the elite kids but all of your and Akashi's friends had been. It had been a vibrant wedding, and you had felt so happy it felt like it could kill you but in the most wonderful way, as if you were melting into a puddle of pure bliss. Being called Mrs Akashi had given you a lot of goosebumps over your honeymoon trip. It had finally come true, you had finally married the boy you loved so dearly. Akashi was an attentive husband and he dotted on you a lot, especially now. Now there was that sweet bundle of joy resting in your arms, your firstborn. With Akashi's bright red hair and your eyes, your daughter happily waved her little arms at you. Shiori was such a beautiful sweetheart, it kept baffling you to think this precious little angel actually was your daughter and you were allowed to love and nurture this sweet little girl. You knew there might be a time where that could change, where she could have a rebellious phase and pierce herself behind your back or whatever she wanted that you would disapprove of, but you knew you wouldn't love her any less. Akashi had been surprisingly pleased with having a daughter for a firstborn, considering the preference for a male firstborn had been installed in him at such a young age, but he loved his cute little princess, and Fujioka despite getting very old made an excellent babysitter. You felt so blessed with the family you had. "There my ladies are, how is my little strawberry?" "She's in a very playful mood, " you reported with a fond smile. Akashi wrapped his arms around you, leaning his head against your shoulder to take a peek at his daughter. "You know my favorite thing about her?" You shook your head. "It's that she got that sweet laugh of yours, it never fails to cheer me up." At that, you and your daughter laughed in unison, blessing Akashi's heart with warmth.
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so-yabeans · 3 months
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LIKE THE STAR
Naoya Zenin x Reader
Part 1 of "The Similes and Metaphors of Loving You"
You're saying I'm the one, but it's your actions that speak louder - I Love You So, The Walters
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To be married to a man named Naoya Zenin was both a privilege and a curse.
First, bearing his clan's name alone has become a privilege not given to just anyone. That means, being a Zenin means you are extraordinary. You're not just an average. That's why from the moment she changed her last name to Zenin, she was more respected by people.
But she didn't like any ounce of that respect. Not a bit of it. She was once respected as a beauty, a rare piece of jewel in her clan, but now she has become nothing but Naoya Zenin's wife. She hated it. She hated how people saw her only with the title crowned to her when she married the man. Her very existence has been reduced to being someone else's wife. Please don't get her wrong. She loves Naoya but she couldn't help but question her worth. Was her worth limited to being his wife?
She studied herself noticing how her eyes were devoid of life. She missed how her eyes used to be full of life. She longed for the moments when she could still laugh and smile sincerely. What has she become now? She's nothing but a broken doll forced to bend into tradition.
She let out a bitter laugh as she pulled out the hairpin from her hair and studied the golden object in her hand. It was a gift from her husband during their first anniversary. The luster was still there compared to her who rusted upon her husband's acidic words. Another bitter laugh erupted from her, this time it was much longer.
Naoya Zenin. The name has brought her nothing but pain.
Naoya Zenin. The name has been nothing but a sharp knife to her.
Naoya Zenin. The name of the man she loved and still did even after all this time.
Silly her. Did she think she could change a man like him? Did she think highly of herself?
"I just wanted to believe in him." That's what she had said in the past but now she had lost all her will to believe in him.
She looked at the broken mirror of her dresser, an aftereffect of her banter with Naoya a while ago before he left for a meeting with his clan. He decided not to bring her because first, he couldn't bear to see his pathetic wife. And second, it was too late in the night for her to go out.
The mirror reflected her so well. She was broken. And they were both broken by the same person.
Her lips curled into a smile as she recalled the fight that occurred a while ago.
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Not only that you couldn't give that damn head title, but you're also even going to disgrace my name? I told you to live your life quietly, didn't I? Why are you so pathetic? This is the last time, I'm going to let you off, woman. The next time, I'm not going to stop you."
His words echoed in her head. Insecurity fueled by her husband has begun to wilt her confidence away. She used to be a flower but now she is nothing, but her beauty has withered along with the light of her eyes.
"Why can't you become more like her?"
"How can you be so weak?"
"You think you'd catch my attention by speaking up at that meeting? You have no right, woman."
Ah, that nickname. Naoya would call her 'woman' when he was infuriated by her which is very often so she rarely heard her name slip out of her mouth except for their intimate moments in the bed, which is rare.
But then, if there's one good thing, she saw in him, it's that he never hit her physically. It was something she came to appreciate with a sharp-tongued man like him.
She placed the kanzashi on top of the letter on her dresser. She studied herself once again, smiling as she admired the white nightgown she wore. It was the same nightgown she wore on the night before her wedding. She remembered the smile on her face when she thought of her future husband. She was naïve back then. She didn't know that she was knocking on her hell.
Playing the song that she and Naoya both loved, she gracefully, just as she was always taught, stood up from the chair by the dresser and walked to the balcony. She smiled when she spotted the stars in the sky.
"What are you doing up so late?" The voice used to be her favorite melody but now it was nothing but nails on the chalkboard.
"Do you know that most of the stars in the night are already dead?" She asked and for the first time in her life, a genuine smile appeared on her worn out face.
"Just get to the point." Naoya sighed as he took off his kimono and started to get ready for the night. He was expecting his wife to come and help him, but it was like cold water was poured over him when he saw her climb up the balcony railings.
"You're right. I'm pathetic."
"Woman, get down-"
"I hope she takes care of you."
In the end, she couldn't curse him.
And for the second time in the night, she smiled genuinely.
Finally, she could be free.
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masterlist | next part
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siempredelsol · 26 days
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Chapter 1: The Means To My End . . .
Monday.
The floor feels cool against her cheek. She doesn’t understand where she is- but she knows what she’s done. She promised herself that last time would be the last time but here she was. Her mouth was dry, there was a ringing in her ears- and it was all accompanied by a pulsing that reached to the core of her stomach. Whatever she had to eat last was now churning in her gut;
What did she eat last?
Did she eat today?
She feels clammy, and almost like she’s suffocating. There’s an imaginary weight on her chest, one that she can’t push away. Sitting up isn’t helping- and fuck did her head throb right now. Her stomach ushers her to the cool rim of the toilet bowl and she expels food she didn’t remember eating. The smell is putrid and she doesn’t seem to care as she rests her cheek to the dirty porcelain. 
Blackness then falls and she is gone. 
She’s gone.
Tuesday.
Dave’s working her from behind. She’s still and robotic. She’s pleasure, she’s pain. She’s fire, she’s ice. She’s disgusting, yet desired. He finishes in no time and slips a bill into her hand. She ignores the urge to check what she’s worth.; much like she ignored his wedding band and like he ignored her, slipping out of the room. 
She walks around his house admiring his pictures and the life that fills his space. His lovely home. With his lovely wife. She’s robotic as she eats the leftovers in his- their, refrigerator. His wife was a good cook too. 
A robe lays on the edge of the tub in this huge flawless bathroom, same as always. She uses shampoo that doesn’t belong to her and the shaving gel to shave her legs. Of course she used the pink razor sitting there as well. 
She smelled clean and delightful. How ironic.
Wednesday. 
She keeps herself occupied with nail painting and cross word puzzles. What a time to be alive.
Thursday.
There’s a man on the small tv in her motel room. It’s hard to make out details in the fuzzy screen but the cross in the back stands prominent. She agrees with him and curses at him all the same. He is wrong. He is right. 
Nonetheless she pulls in smoke and blows it in his face, pours a shot, and makes a toast to sin. 
It feels numbing on the way down. 
Friday. 
When she walks out on stage, the crowd howls. As they should. She’s showing a lot of fucking skin. She teases not- she is the real deal, honey. Her tips can surely prove that. Her hands glide like silk down the pole and she doesn’t think about who was there last and why the pole is especially forgiving tonight. She just does. 
Her mind is moving, but her body is degrading her thoughts with their movements. Her hip sways may be in time with the music from the speakers blaring above, but she isn’t sure. She's off her game tonight. The men don’t seem to care anyways. Their faces had begun to blur with every spin around the pole, the familiar churning coming back to her stomach. 
The bitter taste flutters across her tongue. Acid begins to burn her throat but the show goes on. She bends over, giving them a good peek. Swallowing the bile back, she gyrates her hips against the pole suggestively as her head tilts back. Despite her arms feeling weak, she dips slowly down and up and down and up. The stage is generously covered with their money, and she she steps all over it with her stilettos, taking her top off simultaneously to coax them into giving more. 
“Selena” 
They call her name. One of them. 
Dave is here tonight. She sees him. Odd. He slides a twenty down the skin of her tits before slipping it between the thin elastic waistband that held her G string together. He speaks in her ear which day to keep open for the week ahead before she manages to slip away with just a wink. She needed to breathe. She needed to go.
There is a rose waiting for her at her station in the dressing room. Dave's doing no doubt. A giving man that lacked loyalty. How sweet. If only his wife knew how sweet he is. Was.
She walks towards the train with a lot more cash than what she had to begin with. A child standing with her mother catches her attention as she’s passing. She hands the rose to the child, and she smiles. Her mother pulls the young one closer.
It’s a brisk night tonight, and she hugs her arms around herself. It does nothing to deter men from staring at her as she continues her way home. The motel room. Same difference. 
Now she felt naked. 
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n1ghtm3ds · 11 months
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Kind of curious about the "disastrous rave" if you care to share
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So this is the only pic we have of the night because it was such a shitshow. Taking the picture in front is my friend Odysseus. Im the one in the overalls, the boy with the sticks was a friend of a friend who was really nice but smelled really bad, and behind him in the pink tank top is my friend Dandy. We had this farm reserved for this EDM show that fell through at the last minute, and we wound up instead "renting" the building where the Terminus scenes of Walking Dead were filmed. We had no money (that wasnt for drugs) so the guy organizing got the owners agree to let us throw the party there if we "micro cleaned" because there was still dye stains where the trough was and there were cigarette butts all over the courtyard from the previous show. So we get there expecting to pick up trash and they want us to mop the halls (pictured above) and tried to get me to clean a dirty bathroom and I was like This Barbie Does Not Clean Bathrooms. So we finish cleaning and take our drugs (5 tabs acid, 2 tabs 25-i, 3 hits molly which i should have spaced out because it was the crash that started my bad trip). But anyway I go to a corner store to get some chewing gum so I don't crack a tooth and realize very quickly that I am in a neighborhood that may not be the safest place to throw a rave. Crackheads showed up, paid the $5 entrance fee, and congregated almost immediately after we opened up. The first DJ was one of the worst id ever heard, he literally kept adjusting the volume of this boring EDM track and was on for like 2 hours. Dandy, who is 5 feet tall and 80lbs, is running the entryway. It gets dark. I crash on the molly pretty hard and take more 25-i thinking the stimulant will rejuvenate me. So Im looking around the dark, and I know everybody is a mile beyond fucked up, and I start noticing congregations of gentlemen all wearing similar colors, not mixing with the other congregations of gentlemen wearing their own similar colors, and recognize on multiple people what i know was a gun tucked into a waistband under a t-shirt (having dated a gang member in high school, it is easy to spot when you know what to look for) so there was not only obvious gang activity but people were armed. A fight breaks out between a group of guys and my friend Odysseus and this kid literally takes a bottle to his nose exactly like that scene in "Pans Labyrinth". Crushed it fucking flat, gushing blood, I spirit him away to under the DJ booth (smelly kid was spinning and his set was actually one of the few good ones of the night) but im terrified that the place is about to erupt in gunfire because wed listened to Eminem's "One Shot Two Shot" on the ride up and I couldnt get it to stop looping in my head and i took it as a warning and hid inside a subwoofer with B (Odysseus popped another molly and re-joined the party) and made him call a friend to pick him up. We show up unannounced without the car at his parents house with our faces full of face paint high as kites and ride it out in his room (this was the third time his parents met me). His dad refuses to talk to him, on fathers day, because we abandoned the car (even though B said wed both been drinking and the location was unsafe). I left a very... unflattering voicemail on the organizer's phone and we headed back to town. Odysseus' wife was my boss at the time and gave me a week off after hearing what a traumatic nightmare it was. Never went to a festival/rave without professional security again. Second-worst EDM experience of my life.
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fyreanddesire · 1 year
Text
Chapter 1: The Means To My End . . .
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Monday.
The floor feels cool against her cheek. She doesn’t understand where she is- but she knows what she’s done. She promised herself that last time would be the last time but here she was. Her mouth was dry, there was a ringing in her ears- and it was all accompanied by a pulsing that reached to the core of her stomach. Whatever she had to eat last was now churning in her gut;
What did she eat last?
Did she eat today?
She feels clammy, and almost like she’s suffocating. There’s an imaginary weight on her chest, one that she can’t push away. Sitting up isn’t helping- and fuck did her head throb right now. Her stomach ushers her to the cool rim of the toilet bowl and she expels food she didn’t remember eating. The smell is putrid and she doesn’t seem to care as she rests her cheek to the dirty porcelain. 
Blackness then falls and she is gone. 
She’s gone.
Tuesday.
Dave’s working her from behind. She’s still and robotic. She’s pleasure, she’s pain. She’s fire, she’s ice. She’s disgusting, yet desired. He finishes in no time and slips a bill into her hand. She ignores the urge to check what she’s worth.; much like she ignored his wedding band and like he ignored her, slipping out of the room. 
She walks around his house admiring his pictures and the life that fills his space. His lovely home. With his lovely wife. She’s robotic as she eats the leftovers in his- their, refrigerator. His wife was a good cook too. 
A robe lays on the edge of the tub in this huge flawless bathroom, same as always. She uses shampoo that doesn’t belong to her and the shaving gel to shave her legs. Of course she used the pink razor sitting there as well. 
She smelled clean and delightful. How ironic.
Wednesday. 
She keeps herself occupied with nail painting and cross word puzzles. What a time to be alive.
Thursday.
There’s a man on the small tv in her motel room. It’s hard to make out details in the fuzzy screen but the cross in the back stands prominent. She agrees with him and curses at him all the same. He is wrong. He is right. 
Nonetheless she pulls in smoke and blows it in his face, pours a shot, and makes a toast to sin. 
It feels numbing on the way down. 
Friday. 
When she walks out on stage, the crowd howls. As they should. She’s showing a lot of fucking skin. She teases not- she is the real deal, honey. Her tips can surely prove that. Her hands glide like silk down the pole and she doesn’t think about who was there last and why the pole is especially forgiving tonight. She just does. 
Her mind is moving, but her body is degrading her thoughts with their movements. Her hip sways may be in time with the music from the speakers blaring above, but she isn’t sure. She's off her game tonight. The men don’t seem to care anyways. Their faces had begun to blur with every spin around the pole, the familiar churning coming back to her stomach. 
The bitter taste flutters across her tongue. Acid begins to burn her throat but the show goes on. She bends over, giving them a good peek. Swallowing the bile back, she gyrates her hips against the pole suggestively as her head tilts back. Despite her arms feeling weak, she dips slowly down and up and down and up. The stage is generously covered with their money, and she she steps all over it with her stilettos, taking her top off simultaneously to coax them into giving more. 
“Selena” 
They call her name. One of them. 
Dave is here tonight. She sees him. Odd. He slides a twenty down the skin of her tits before slipping it between the thin elastic waistband that held her G string together. He speaks in her ear which day to keep open for the week ahead before she manages to slip away with just a wink. She needed to breathe. She needed to go.
There is a rose waiting for her at her station in the dressing room. Dave's doing no doubt. A giving man that lacked loyalty. How sweet. If only his wife knew how sweet he is. Was.
She walks towards the train with a lot more cash than what she had to begin with. A child standing with her mother catches her attention as she’s passing. She hands the rose to the child, and she smiles. Her mother pulls the young one closer.
It’s a brisk night tonight, and she hugs her arms around herself. It does nothing to deter men from staring at her as she continues her way home. The motel room. Same difference. 
Now she felt naked. 
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seraph1m-mouth-113 · 4 years
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Last month I had an apocalyptic dream where it started with rain and the cast of neon Genesis evangelion like stuck together in the form of a huge Led Zeppelin knot in the sky and was blasting huge rays of energy and destroying Everything, then some other crazy shit happened where it was trying to pick off the survivors like a magical girl scenario but I can’t remember... well I just woke up from another.... it started with rain again. except this time there was small isolated tornadoes ripping through the streets and we all fled to our homes but once we got to our homes, everyone reverted to a six-year-old state and was amazed by everything and then a trumpeted from the sky blew and I was able to remember what happened in my other dream so I knew something was going to happen that was crazy. so I started looking up in the sky from the windows but nothing ever happened instead all the radios and TVs and media type technology started playing some fucked up Cardi B in collaboration with Gwar (Oderus was still singing) singing/rapping/shouting about the future is it the future is here. Then these cult members showed up in big roadster death mobiles looking like Isaac from the children of the corn except lead by either Jesus in the Mr. bungle retro vertigo video or fucking Aphex twin window licker and come to daddy persona. Then they systematicly went to every resident and murdered everyone and everything with old timey tools for the children, and the roadsters and flame throwers for the Aphex Jesus figures. We fled to some stock ware houses while trying to take our Danes with us but they was failing behind so I went back to get when we ran into some children and they found me as my hiding spot was more of a trying to be offensive more than defensive and they slashed and stabbed my arms up but some how I took 2 of them out with the help of another survivor and we gathered the others and got them to safety. Once everyone was safe and hid I went to go get the Danes and they kenneled all the animals, I found Vera those fucking assholes sliced at her and cut her up to the point where one of here legs was partially severed. It made me so sad and mad and sick I woke up....
Why must my visions be so clear.
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augustinewrites · 3 years
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a/n: you guys asked for it :) a prequel to first day of school (dad!suna) cw: sexual themes, trouble conceiving, like...a dash of angst but it's hurt/comfort!
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suna’s mind is still a little foggy, the effects of his climax just barely tapering off when you start squirming underneath him.
he’s hardly in a state to protest as he lets you shove him to the side. he blinks a little dazedly as you twist yourself around, scooting up the bed and lining your legs up with the headboard, thighs squeezed together and toes pointed at the ceiling.
he wants to grab you by the waist and pull in for a post-coital cuddle and kiss you sweetly, but you have other things on your mind.
“babe,” he sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. the metal of his wedding band is cool against his flushed cheek, reminding him of why he’s letting you do this to yourself. “you know you don’t need to do…that.”
“‘s gravity,” you huff, not even sparing him a glance, brows creased in concentration. “don’t laugh, i’m desperate.”
suna doesn’t laugh, instead tugging his boxers back on before positioning himself next to you and placing a gentle, lingering kiss to your shoulder as he lays a blanket over the both of you. he knows how desperate you are, how desperate the both of you have been for a little over six months now. and this…whatever this was, has become his new normal.
sex was scheduled, planned. lined up with the help of an app on your phone and the planner you kept on the nightstand. you underlined fertile windows and circled dates of ovulation.
he fucked you in missionary and doggy for deepest possible penetration, hitting as close to your cervix as possible. (he doesn’t remember the last time you’d ridden him, or let him press you up against the tiles of the shower.)
he doesn’t remember the last time sex was fun. doesn’t remember the last time it wasn’t so routine and premeditated.
“you didn’t…finish,” he says plainly (some lame segue to the thing that’s been weighing heavy on his chest late, really). but also because suna’s not stupid, he knows that most women can’t finish on penetration alone. while the two of you had spent the better part of the evening trying, you hardly let him touch you. slapped his hands away when he tried to finger you, pulled his head up when he tried to go down on you.
“it’s okay,” you hum, still staring up at the ceiling. “i’m not the one who needs to do that.”
suna can’t help but frown. he knows that, obviously, but this is still sex, and he’s always going to want you to feel good too. “you once rode out two orgasms on my tongue before even letting me—”
“rin,” you say, exasperated, finally averting your gaze from the ceiling to look at him. “it’s not you, i’m just tired.”
“then let me help you.”
“you don’t need to.”
“i want to.”
“rin,” you say again with a little more bite. “i’m tired.”
“you said that already,” he snaps, and it comes out more acidic than he meant. it’s not you, it’s just a knee-jerk reaction, he swears.
(he must’ve really fucked up though, because now you’re twisting out of your position to sit up and stare down at him.)
“rintaro.”
he sits up immediately. shit. he needs to pick his next words very carefully.
“i’m just saying…” he starts slowly, studying your face for any signs of anger. “you’re stressing yourself out too much lately. maybe we should take a break from trying, just for a little—”
“take a break?” you echo incredulously, wrapping the blanket around your chest. “suna, we cannot just stop trying, it’s been almost eight months.”
the fact that it’s been over half a year is exactly why he thinks you should take a break, the use of his last name grating on his ears. “well, suna, when my wife obviously isn’t enjoying herself during the process, i think a break is warranted.”
“i am enjoying myself,” you argue, but you’re not looking him in the eye. “it’s not me…finishing that makes a baby, though.”
“i know that,” he insists, trying to find the words to make you understand. three years of marriage has made him better at communicating his feelings, sure, but right now he’s feeling like the bad guy. he doesn’t want to fight with you, not about this. “but you’re putting all this pressure on yourself and us–”
“pressure?” you scoff, turning away from him, expression pained. “you don’t know pressure when it comes to this, rintaro. do people ask you when–” you cut yourself off, and suna wants to know who exactly is stressing you out like this and give them a piece of his mind.
“i know the expectations for you and i are different, and that it’s stupid,” he says gently, placing a hand on your knee. “but all this– the schedules, the positions, it’s stressing you out more than helping right now. it’s wearing you out and i miss you,” he admits. “but it’s going to happen for us eventually, okay?”
“when?” you ask quietly, and he hates that when you finally look at him, he can see the tears pooling in your eyes. he hates when you look at him like that. hates that he can feel months of desperation and yearning finally weighing you down. hates watching you crack as your bottom lip trembles when you ask, “when, rin, because we’re already doing it all. i track my cycle, i take my pills, i put my legs in the air but–”
your tears spill over, and his heart absolutely breaks as you choke, “but atsumu is in the two percent of condom ineffectiveness and now he has a six month old. without even trying. but we try and can’t even get–”
he doesn’t even let you finish, just shuffles closer and braces a hand against the back of your head, pulling you in. he holds you tight, rubbing soothing circles across your back and letting you cling to him as your tears drip down his shoulder.
you want this, he knows. he sees it in the way you smile at osamu’s twins, even when they get their grubby hands on your shirt. saw it in the way you stared longingly at the infant in atsumu’s arms when the two of you last went to visit. felt it in the way you squeezed his hand a little tighter on the car ride home. suna wanted to give it to you so badly, and honestly?
he wanted it too.
wanted to see you in the stands during games with a baby on your hip, both of you wearing his number. wanted to come home from practice to the sound of little feet pattering across the floor, and a tiny human giving him a hug.
(suddenly, ten months of trying seemed too long.)
but that’s not what you need to hear right now, so he rubs your tears away and presses a kiss to your temple, letting his lips linger as he murmurs, “hey, we’re going to be parents one way or another,” he whispers. “gonna have the best kid, definitely better than atsumu or osamu’s…maybe better than kita’s.”
“with my eyes and your hair?” you sniffle, your lips curling weakly against his skin.
“prettiest kid you’ve ever seen,” he hums, burying his face in your neck, drawing a deep breath. “i’ll eat more spinach and hold your legs in the air for you, if that’s what you want. this is going to happen for us, i promise.”
-
a month later, he makes good on that promise. and when the time comes that he sees his baby in that first ultrasound, no bigger than a blueberry–
it makes everything the two of you went through absolutely worth it.
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geminigirl0298 · 2 years
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Leather-Bound (5)
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Relationship: Dom!Loki x Sub!Reader, Switch!Loki x Reader
Summary: Loki prepares to marry the princess. Frigga interferes one final time.
A/N: And finally, the end! Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to make this more than a one shot. It was fun!
Word Count: 5.2k
Warnings: NSFW, Smut, 18+, Minors DNI!, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, pussy slapping, face slapping, choking, flogging, spanking, multiple orgasms, orgasm control, orgasm denial, squirting, degradation, name calling, restraints, blindfolds, consensual sex, pain kink, vaginal sex, dom/sub dynamics, fluff.
Part 4  Masterlist
PART 5
Four days to the wedding. 
You lay on your back on the midwife’s table, listening to the words she told you.  There was only one you could focus on.  Pregnant.  You were pregnant.  Ironically, irreversibly pregnant.  It was almost enough to make you start laughing on the spot. 
“Are you listening to me?” asked the midwife with a stern look.  “You’re pregnant now, child.  You must take care of yourself.”  She passed you a few bottles and tins. “Vitamins, for the baby.  Folic acid.  Balm to prevent stretch marks… Are you okay?”
“Huh?”  Freya pointed to your face.  You reached up and realized that it was wet with tears.  “Oh.  I’m s-sorry.  I didn’t m-mean to—” Sobs stole away the rest of your words.  You clutched the pills and tinctures to your chest in an attempt to calm yourself, albeit to no avail.  “I’m sorry!”
Freya let out a sigh.  “Come, child.  Sit up.  You’re blubbering all over my pillows.”  She helped you to a sitting position, taking the items from you and placing them to the side.  A cup of water was pressed into your hand.  “Drink that while I find something to wipe your face.”  You sipped the water.  The coolness calmed you enough to stop crying until Freya returned with a cloth. 
“Here,” she took a seat next to you.  “Tell me what’s the matter.  Is it the child’s father?”  You sniffled into the cloth but managed a small nod.  “Let me guess.  Noble with a wife, never told you about the wife?” And this was why you sought a midwife away from the palace.  Anyone who knew about your affair would figure out that Loki was the father.  With the way the news travelled, you were sure it would be an hour before he found out about your pregnancy.
“Something like that,” you whispered.  “He can’t find out.”  Freya nodded in understanding.
“Are you thinking of terminating?”
The thought had crossed your mind a number of times, but, “No,” you replied.  “I don’t know.  I haven’t figured it out yet.”
“Well, you still have some time.  Start taking those vitamins from today and, if you decide to keep it, come see me in a month’s time.  If you decide to terminate, you can always come in sooner.”
“T-Thank you,” you whispered.  You wiped the tears from your eyes and tossed the cloth.  Freya grabbed your hand as you rose to leave.
“Listen,” she began.  “You’re not the first young mother to run through here and you certainly won’t be the last. Definitely won’t be the only one knocked up by a noble with no place to go.  Saying that, I’d like to offer one piece of advice.”  She gripped your hand tighter.  “If this man has any decency or has any kind of care towards you at all, tell him.  Tell him about the child.”  Freya released your hand.  “Sometimes, men can surprise you.”
ooOOoo
Three days until the wedding
“Are you going to tell him?” Isa asked as she stroked your hair, which rested on her knee.  It was too early in your pregnancy for morning sickness, so you chalked up the feelings of nausea in your stomach to nervousness and nothing more.  “Now that you’ve told me what really happened, I think you should.  It sounds like the prince really likes you.”
You lifted your head to look at her though teary eyes.  “And if I tell him, then what?”
“He’ll marry you,” Isa replied, in a tone that suggested you had lost your mind not to realize this.  “He’ll marry you and not that stuffy princess no one can stand.  Hey,” she held your face between her labour hardened hands.  “The prince will not turn his back on you.  Just find him alone and tell him—”
“He’s avoiding me, remember?  The prince doesn’t wish to speak to me.”
“Then make him,” Isa demanded.  “Make him speak to you.  He did this too, and from the sound of it, he was hoping for it.  You need not carry this burden alone.  Tell him.  Tell him, and everything will be okay.”
ooOOoo
Two days until the wedding.
A good night’s sleep did you well. It calmed your fears, refreshed your mood and made up your mind for you. You were going to tell him.  You were going to tell Loki about the baby… If only you could make your hand move to knock on his door.
Come on, you encouraged yourself.  Just a little knock.  You’ve done this hundreds of times before. With a frustrated grunt, you used your right hand to lift your left and bang it against the door.  The wooden structures opened almost immediately. Princess Linnea stepped out. 
“You.”  Her eyes narrowed.
“I…”. Her presence threw you.  Why was she coming out of Loki’s room?  “What are you doing here?”  Linnea’s eyes widened in offense.
“What are you doing here, wench?  This is my fiancé’s room.  I’m allowed to be in here.”  She placed a hand on the door, showing off her engagement ring.  You noticed it was not the Queen’s, as Asgardian custom dictated it be.  “Well?  Out with it?”
“I-I’m looking for the prince.  There’s something I need to tell him.”
“Is that so?”  She quirked a dainty brow.  “Well, I’m sorry but my fiancé is asleep.  All tuckered out from our activities last night.  Let me tell you, that man is wild- Oh!” She placed a hand over her mouth.  “You would know that, wouldn’t you?  Having been his whore and all.”
It was then than you noticed what she was wearing.  A tunic, cotton and simple, but in that rich emerald green you could never mistake. 
“I’ll come back.”  The waver in your voice annoyed you.  “I’ll come back another time—”
“Don’t.”  She gripped your wrist hard.  “Don’t come back here.  Honestly, this is pathetic.  I’m embarrassed for you!  Discarded and used and still back for more?  The prince doesn’t want to see you.  He doesn’t want to speak to you!  Why would he?”
Your lip trembled.  “That’s not true.”
“Has he come to see you since?” Linnea asked.  “Did he not agree to our engagement?  Am I not marrying him?”  You said nothing. “If he wanted to marry you, he would.  And he hasn’t so…”.
You wished to hear no more.  You ripped your hand from her grasp and ran back to your room.
ooOOoo
Two days to the wedding.
“My queen?”  Frigga looked up from her book.  “Might I speak with you a moment?”  She smiled and pulled out a chair next to her.
“Come, sit.  Tell me what’s on your mind, child.”  She slid you a cup of tea, smoothing a hand over your head.  “You’ve been strangely quiet today. How are you?”
“Well.”  Frigga lifted a brow.  “Not well.”
“I figured.”  Sympathy filled the queen’s face.  “If it makes you feel any better, Loki isn’t doing well either.  He spends his days away from the castle and—”
“I don’t want to talk about Loki.”  The words came out rushed, like one long string rather than a sentence.  “I’m sorry.  It was not my intent to be rude.  I just…” You looked away from Frigga’s intense stare.  “I wish to leave.  I want to leave the palace.”
Frigga dropped her cup.  It hit the saucer with a loud clatter.  “Leave?  Why?”
“Because it’s too hard!” you whispered.  “I got involved with a prince and now he’s marrying a princess.  Everywhere I go, people whisper and speak about me.  The stupid maid bedded by a prince.  That’s me.  That’s my reputation now—”
“Okay,” Frigga rested a hand on your arm.  “Calm down.  I understand your plight, and I understand why you want to leave.  What I don’t understand is why you’re blaming yourself.  My son had just as much fault in this as you.”  She paused for a few seconds.  “Have you spoken to him since?”
You decided it would be best not to mention your failed attempt the day before.  “No, I haven’t.”
“I think you should,” she told you.  “Forgive me, but both you and my son handled this horribly.  Loki won’t tell me why you broke it off and now you are asking to leave?  Sometimes, my dear,” she touched your hand, “a conversation can fix everything if you are willing to listen and let yourself be heard.”
You shook your head.  “My queen, I don’t think that’s wise. Loki and I made our choices and we have to live with them.  He’s going to marry the princess and I am going to leave.  There’s a family not far from here in the village that I’ve gotten in contact with.  They know my mother and have agreed to give me room and board until I find another job.”
“You don’t need another job,” Frigga insisted.  “Your job is here.  This is your home.”
“No, this is your home.  I just work here.”  You rose to your feet.  “And I can do that no longer.”
ooOOoo
One day until the wedding.
The entirety of the day was spent crying in Isa’s lap.  Your bags were packed and ready to go, final paycheck delivered and transport arriving in the morning.  You figured it would be best to leave the night before the wedding.  Everyone would be too focused on final preparations to notice, and during the wedding was not a good idea.  Carriages should be coming to the palace instead of driving away.
Queen Frigga, though unhappy with your decision, helped you as best as she could.  She secured the transport, gave you the rest of your year’s pay in advance and even asked that you keep in touch.  You would not, but let her think so either way.  Deceiving the queen was not proving to be an easy task, especially after she had been so kind to you. 
“And you’re sure you don’t want me to go with you on the journey?” asked Isa for the millionth time. “It’s a few days away and I don’t want anything to happen to you.  I don’t mind missing the pay.”
“Yes you do.  You need that pay to continue your lessons.  Do not put your future on hold on my account.”  You rose from her lap for the first time that day, and you knew you looked a mess.  Your hair was uncombed and unwashed, face matted with dry tears.  The only thing you had done for the day besides cry was eat and take your vitamins, because you refused to let your baby suffer on your account. 
“Do you have everything?” Isa began checking your bags.  “Enough food and water?  And what about money?  I can loan you some.”  You placed a hand on hers.
“Stop.  I’m fine.  I have enough money and enough supplies to get me to where I need to go.”  She placed her head on your shoulder.  “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
“I know you will.  I just wish it didn’t have to end like this.” You sniffled.
“Me too.” 
You cried again, softer this time.  Tears of regret slid down your face like a river.  You cried for yourself, for your mistakes and decisions.  For Loki, who you loved.  For your baby, who would never know their father.
For you. 
For you.
ooOOoo
The night before the wedding.
Everything was set.  The palace was quiet and most of its occupants were asleep.  Except for you.  You were dressed in a cloak and thick boots, breeches and leather belts to hide your feminine form.  Anything to make you look like a man so you’d be less of a target during your late night travels.
Isa was already asleep.  The girl lay next to you in your bed, clutching the pillow she brought from her own.  You could not bear to wake her.  Instead, you slipped a thick envelope containing the letter you wrote Loki under her hand so she would see it when she awoke.  She knew the plan: deliver the letter to Loki the day he returned from his wedding tour.  Loki might not miss your absence at the wedding, but he would miss your absence once he returned.  He would not stop until he found you and you didn’t want him to find you, so you left him the letter to tell him goodbye and request he leave you be.  It was a long shot, but the only one you had.
It was harder than you thought to leave the palace.  You took the path through the servant’s quarters that led you to the barn where the carriage was to meet you.  The bags you carried were heavy and sufficient, leading you to have to place them by your feet.  You supposed you should get used to heavy things.  Heavens knew you’d be carrying your own personal weight soon enough.
And there you waited.  Five minutes. Ten.  Fifteen— you were getting antsy now.  The carriage was late.  You could not afford for the carriage to be late.  Any later and you might not make it out of the town before the wedding party arrived.
“Gods!” you exclaimed.  “Do I have to do everything myself?”
“Well, it looks as though you’ve already decided to do that so you might as well start now.” 
Your heart hammered against your ribcage.  That voice— the one you had been yearning for— suddenly appeared right behind you.  It was as smooth as ever— dulcet, familiar— and right now filled with an anger you had never heard before.
“Loki.”
“Yes, Loki.”  The dark prince came into view, towering over you as he usually did.  On a normal day it was attractive.  Now, in the dim light of the barn with that furious expression on his face, you finally understood why so many people ran the other way when he was mentioned.  “So was this your plan?  To run away like a coward and not let me know—”
“Loki—”
“Ending our relationship wasn’t bad enough so you were going to leave me!  And to make matters worse, you made me have to marry that insufferable princess!”  You sighed.
“Loki, I know—Wait.”  You brought your hands up to your hips.  “How did I make you have to marry the princess?  I had nothing to do with that.  That was all you!”
“Me?  That was not me!  That was my father and that stupid king forcing the marriage before I could recover,” Loki hissed.  “With you gone, there was no real reason to say no.  ‘I don’t want to marry her’ was not holding up so I said yes to get them off my back and I have been paying for it every day since.”
You folded your arms across your chest and lifted a brow.  “I still don’t see how that’s my fault.  If our relationship was the only thing keeping you from marrying her, that’s not a very good reason for us to be together, now is it?”  Loki turned on you with fury.
“That’s not what I’m saying and you know it.  Stop being obstinate.”
“Stop being sneaky!” you shot back.  “You crept up on me when I was—” You bit your tongue just shy of drawing blood.
“When you were what?” Loki demanded.  A thin black brow raised in defiance.  “When you were trying to leave?  Sneak away under the fall of the night and not even say goodbye?”
Your gaze fell to your hands.  “I-”
“You what?  What?”  You could not answer.  “You can’t even refute what I’m saying.  It’s bad enough that you broke my heart and left me lost—”
“We ended our relationship together, Loki,” you reminded him through tears.  “It was mutual.”
“It was not,” Loki hissed.  “I never wanted to leave you.  I never wanted to end our relationship.  I just knew there was no changing your mind so I gave in.” 
“Loki, it was for the best.  We couldn’t—”. The tremble in your voice forced you to stop for a breath.  “We could not continue.  There were too many people against us.  There was too much at stake. You tried to get me pregnant, for Valhalla’s sake!”  And succeeded.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.  Water filled his eyes, deepening the sea green to an emerald hue.  “I’m sorry.  Desperation got the better of me.  My father was about to force us apart and I panicked.  I panicked because I could not be away from you.  I lo-”
Your chest tightened. “Loki—”
“-ve you,” he finished.  “I love you.”
“Would you,” you began, with barely controlled anger, “stop saying that.  It changes nothing.”
“Why is it so hard for you to hear that?  Do you not want to be loved?”
“Yes,” you replied.  “Yes, I do.  But it can’t be by you!  And yes, I was going to leave without saying goodbye!  I came to say goodbye and that stupid princess was in your room so I left!  Don’t act like this is some big loss on your part.  She was wearing your tunic!  You can’t stand her but you can fuck her all the same—”
Loki grabbed you by the arm so suddenly it shut you right up.  He backed you up until your shoulder blades touched the wall, coming so close to you your noses were touching. 
“Loki—”
“That’s not my name.”  His voice was rough, firm, and went straight to your cunt.  “What’s my name?”  Oh no.
“M-my prince,” you stuttered out.  Oh no. Oh no.  Oh no.
“Good girl.”  You whined at his succinct tone. The cloak around you disappeared, leaving you in just your dress.  “Now, why don’t you tell me what you were trying to do?”
Before you could prevent it, you felt yourself shift into sub space.  Gone were your reasonings and need to leave. All that mattered now was your prince in front of you, asking you questions you had to answer.  “I was l-leaving.”
“Why?”  His hands began bunching up your skirts around your waist.  Cool air wove itself between your legs.
“B-because I got another job.”  Loki did not seem pleased by that answer.
“You’re lying, darling.”
You whimpered.  “I-”
“Hush now, lest you tell more lies and prolong your punishment.  Here,” he handed you the ends of your skirts.  “Hold these for me.  Out of my way so I can see.”  Loki knelt before you.  “Spread your legs for me.”  You parted them with ease.  “Good girl.”  He yanked you underwear off in one smooth motion and reached up to cup you.
“Fuck!”
“No speaking unless you’re spoken too, slut.”  You bit your lip to hold back your moans as his fingers skimmed your dripping slit.  He spread your lips apart and made a noise of approval.  “There it is.  That sweet little cunt, always so wet for me.”  The pad of his thumb pressed against your clit.  “Now, darling. Tell me why you were leaving.”
“I- I had to go.”
Loki frowned.  “Wrong answer.”  Three of his fingers smacked your clit.  Your hips bucked up and towards him, pain and pleasure coursing through you.  “Let’s try that again.  Why were you leaving?”
“Loki,” you whined.  He smacked you again.  “M-my prince!  I had to leave!”  Another smack.  You loved this, and he knew it well.  He also knew how badly you would want to cum and how to prevent that.  “P-please!”
“Please what?”  Loki rubbed your clit.  “Does my little whore need to cum?”  You nodded in desperation, and he pressed down further.  Fingers tightened on your skirt as he sped up his movements.  It had been so long since you had been touched.  Loki knew every inch of your body, all your pleasure spots and where to touch you to drive you wild.  Therefore, it was not a surprise when you felt yourself reach the edge. 
Too bad Loki would not let you tip over
“My prince!” you whined when he removed his thumb.  This earned you another smack, right on your left butt cheek.  It was harder than usual, which was how you knew he was angry.  In all your playtimes, Loki was never really angry.  It was all just for show.  But this?  This was something else entirely.  “I’m sorry!”
“You’re sorry for what?” he wanted to know.  “Trying to leave me?  Accusing me of sleeping with that insipid bitch?”
“S-she came out in your clothes!  I thought—”
“Well, you thought wrong.”  He shoved two fingers inside of you.  “She’s forced her way into my room and taken over.  I sleep in one of the guest rooms to get away from her.  But that,” he twisted his fingers within you, drawing a deep cry, “would not have made you leave.  You aren’t afraid of her.  No, it was something else.  Something else made up your mind and you’re not telling me.”  You bit your lip as his fingers brushed your sweet spot.  “Tell me, and I’ll let you cum.”
Your head fell forward, fingers digging into the palm of your hands.  They were so sweaty now.  It was a wonder you hadn’t dropped the skirt.  “Loki.”  Your heels dug into the hay covered floor.  “Loki-”
“Tell.  Me.”  He punctuated each word with a thrust of his fingers.  Your eyes rolled to the back of your head.  “Tell me and you get to cum, darling.  Tell me and I’ll fuck your brains out. Have you missed me?  I know you missed me.”  He added his thumb to the mix, swirling your clit in circles.  “I’ve missed you too.  Just tell me why you were leaving—”
“Poe!”  It was too much.  “Poe!”  Loki stopped immediately.  His hands moved out from between your legs and pulled your skirts down.  Your entire body shivered as he gently lowered you to the floor.
“It’s okay,” he murmured.  He pulled you into his lap and stroked you hair.  “It’s alright. It’s alright.  Just breathe.”  Fear was evident in his voice.  Loki had never pushed you so far before that you had to use your safe word, and the one time you had foregone it led to a fainting spell.  “Darling.”  Loki brushed some hair out of your face.  “Did I hurt you?”
You shook your head, too afraid to even speak lest you blurt out the truth.  Your cunt throbbed with the loss of two orgasms and your head spun with the sudden shift.  His showing up, the carriage failing to do so.  You almost laughed.  Of course.  Frigga had told him.  There never was any carriage coming.  There was never any chance of you getting way. 
“Your mother told you, didn’t she?” 
“Yes,” he replied.  “She rushed to my rooms not a half hour ago telling me you were leaving and that I had to stop you.  What she would not tell me was why.”  He pulled back to cup your face, making you look at him.  “Darling, what’s wrong?  Why were you leaving?”  Tears brimmed in your eyes.  “Darling?”
Your head fell forward onto his shoulder with a sob.  Trembling hands clutched his shoulders with a vice grip.  “I’m sorry!”
“It’s okay.”  Panic crept into his tone, and he stroked your back in an attempt to keep you calm.  “Darling, it’s okay.  Just tell me what happened. Did someone say something to you?”  You shook your head. “Has someone done something to you?”  Another shake.  “Darling, please tell me what’s wrong. I can’t fix this for you unless—”
“I’m pregnant.” 
The world seemed to still after that.  Loki’s hands fell to his sides and you swore you heard him hold his breath.  “What?”
“I’m pregnant,” you repeated.  He did not respond.  Instead, his hands moved to your stomach, palms pressing flat against the dress covering your abdomen. 
“Are you serious?”  Marvel filled his voice.  “Are you really with child?  Our child?”  You nodded, and he sighed.  “You’re pregnant with my child and you were going to leave?”  You winced.  “I’m not angry, I just…”  His eyes darted down to your stomach again as though it held all the wonders of the world.  “Why didn’t you come to me?”
“I was scared,” you admitted.  “I found out about a month after we ended things and I didn’t know how to handle it.  You were already marrying the princess and when I came to your room to tell you, she made it seem like you had already moved on. I didn’t want to be a burden to you so I decided it would be best to leave.”
Loki’s face twisted in disgust.  “I have not moved on, and definitely not to her.” He shook his head.  “I’m sorry you met her instead of me.  I can’t imagine how horrible she must have been to you.”
“Yeah, she was something.”  You sniffed and wiped a tear from your eye.  “I asked your mother to help me escape.  She didn’t want to but I begged her until she agreed.  I’m so sorry.  The pregnancy was so sudden and it scared me and I…”. You cupped his face.  “I do love you.”  His eyes went wide. “I’ve loved you for quite some time now.  I just didn’t… I didn’t know how to… I-”
“Shhh.”  Loki pressed his lips to yours, effectively cutting off your feeble attempts at excuses.  He kissed you like he had never kissed you before— desperately, passionately; a starving man happening upon a hot meal.  Had you been on your feet, your knees would have buckled.  Even now, sitting halfway in his lap, the kiss went straight to your still sensitive vagina and made you whimper.  “My love?”
“S-sensitive,” you explained, clamping your thighs together.  “Sorry.”
“Come here.”  His hands moved to your thighs and you whined.  “No, it’s okay.  No games, I promise. Just let me take care of you.”  He laid you on your back on the hay, conjuring a blanket to protect you from the cold floor.  Kisses were pressed to your chest, then your stomach, then down until they reached your thighs.  Once there, he lifted your skirts and pressed a kiss to your swollen clit.
“Oh!”  It was already throbbing against his mouth from the earlier stimulation.  “Loki, please!”  His hands curled around your thighs, body laying flat on the floor as he began to eat you out.  He swirled his tongue around your button before plunging it deep inside of you.  It filled you, but not enough.  You wanted more.  “Loki.”  You tugged urgently on his hair.  “Need you.”
He crawled on top of you, body hovering over you to keep his weight off your stomach.  It was just one of the many protective measures you knew he would be taking for the rest of your pregnancy.  “You need me?”  He pecked your lips, leaving you high off tasting yourself.  “Where do you need me?”
“Inside,” you whined.  “Please!”  He pushed home with one firm stroke that drew a moan from your lips.   Your hands slid around his waist as he began to move, thrusting in you so deep he hit your sweet spot each time.
“Like this?”  You nodded.
“Just like that.”  Loki held himself over you on two strong forearms.  The veins in them stood out as he rocked into you at a methodical pace, ridges of his dick massaging your walls with every thrust.  Tears filled your eyes as his tip brushed your cervix.  “Loki!”
“I’ve missed you,” he panted in your ear.  “It has been excruciating without you this past month.  Not being able to touch you, having to follow you from afar…”. You gasped when he shifted his hips to drill against your G-spot.  “The worst time of my life.  I’m never doing it again.”
“I’ve missed you too,” you whimpered out.
“You’re not leaving.  Not one bit.  We’re going to be a family.  You, me and our child.”  He brushed some hair out of your face.  “Is that something you’d like, my dear?”
“Y-yes!” you gasped.  “Yes, I do!  I want to stay with you!”
“Good girl.”  His hand moved between you to rub your clit.  Your nails dug into his back with a gasp. “Now cum for me.  Sing for me and let the entire palace hear you.”  Your orgasm washed over you before you could stop it, body responding to Loki’s command as it was used to.  A high wail filled the air.  Your walls clenched on his cock and he yelled, emptying inside of you.  He just barely caught himself from doubling over onto you at the last second.
“Loki?”  You smoothed his hair out of his sweaty face.
He kissed your forehead.  “Yes, my love?”
“What happens now?”  He grinned.
“Now we stop a wedding.”
ooOOoo
You woke in the middle of the night to complete darkness.  Your hand reached out for your husband and found the bed next to you completely empty.  That made you sit up— carefully, though, and as fast as your rounded belly would allow.  You had to hold onto the bedpost to help you to your feet and locate your slippers.  Once you did, you made your way to Loki’s study.
You never made it to the study.  Halfway down the hall, through the open doors that led onto a large balcony, you heard your husband’s dulcet tones.
“—and that was when Uncle Thor decided to—”
“Loki?”  He turned to you with a smile, hands full holding your two-year-old daughter.  She had her head on his shoulder, sleepy green eyes blinking in the night.  When she saw you, she reached out one chubby arm.
“Mama!”
“Hey, baby.”  You walked over and pressed a kiss to her forehead.  “Why are you up so late?”
“Papa tell me a story,” Asa spoke up.
You let out a dramatic gasp. “He is?  What story?”
“ ‘Bout Unc’e Tor.”
“Hmmmm.”  You leaned up to peck Loki’s lips.  “Hey, you.”
He grinned. “My love.”
“Asa couldn’t sleep again?” you guessed, stroking your baby’s cheek with one finger. He nodded. “Poor baby.” 
“Why are you up?”  Loki placed a hand on your stomach.  “Did Finn wake you with his kicking again?”
“No.  I think he’s finally linked his sleep schedule to mine.  Hasn’t stirred in hours.”  You pat your stomach where you knew your son’s head lay.  In just two months you would have another little bundle of joy to look after.  Many thought you had lost your mind to have another baby when Asa was still so little. You paid them no attention. You wanted your kids to be close in age and planned to have another before Asa turned five. 
“What story were you telling?”   
“The one where Thor tried to invade Nifleheim.”  Slyness entered his face, curving the corners of his mouth up.  “But I was thinking of telling her the story of how we began.”  He lifted Asa into the air then kissed her cheek.  “Would you like to hear that one, princess?” 
“Yes!”
“Loki.”  There was warning in your tone.
He leaned down to your ear.  “I’ll embellish and leave out the raunchy parts, I promise.”  Loki took your hand, leading you over to the cushioned couch.  He helped you sit then took a seat himself.  Asa was already half asleep, curls blowing in the gentle wind.  Loki placed one arm over the back of the couch, the other securing your daughter, and you cuddled into his side.  Your eyes closed when you felt a blanket materialize over your little family of four.
“Once upon a time,” Loki began, “there was a maid and a prince…”
End.
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kiatheinsomniac · 3 years
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1. I LOVE your writing! You're amazing! 2. If it's not too much trouble, could I request something where Ezio's wife is feeling quite insecure because she feels like she isn't as good as some of the other women Ezio has "been" with like Caterina and Ezio is trying to assure her that she shouldn't feel like that
Of course!! Sorry that it's taken me so long to get round to this, I've hardly been active on Tumblr at all in quite a while but I miss it here :(
She glanced over to where the Contessa was being checked over by a doctor while Ezio worriedly looked over her. Deep down, she knew that he was only concerned because she was a powerful ally to the brotherhood and her arrest at the hands of the Borgia had put her contribution to that alliance in jeopardy. But she couldn't help but fear that he was worried because they had a history together.
Claudia had told (Y/n) enough of what her husband was like in his youth - romancing every attractive woman he laid eyes on. On good days, this made her feel special - she were the one he married, after all - but on worse ones, it made her worry that he felt he could do better and go back to some of these women. Ezio was a faithful man, especially when it came to family, but this didn't stop her from worrying that she may not quite reach what he's been treated to by other women in his past.
She must have been glaring a little too hard though, because soon enough, Claudia was by her side, her arms folded.
"The woman is fine, I have a meeting to attend and he’s holding it up to fuss over her.” She snapped in disdain, her voice lowered as to not carry across the stone walls of Isola Tiberina’s Assassin hideout. 
“I don’t like it.” (Y/n) confessed, her eyes shooting daggers at the Contessa of Forli. Claudia raised a brow at the acid in her tone, finding it so unlike her sister-in-law to be so bitter. Glancing over at Claudia’s expression of surprise, she stepped her way out of the conversation to go and fetch Ezio. He had duties as Mentor of the Brotherhood and she had the claws of jealousy tying knots at her like a marionette. Emotions were something personal to (Y/n) and she wouldn’t watch herself become a wreck over some half-disgraced woman who had lost hold of her city. 
She could remember Ezio telling her how impressed he was to see a woman running a city all on her lonesome once... 
She cleared her throat, dismissing the thought as she did.
“Ezio, our contacts are waiting for you.” She spoke up, her face and voice the mask of business to hide her feelings. 
“Sì, I just-” 
“Bartolomeo has barracks to attend to, Volpe has a tavern to maintain and Claudia has a brothel to run.” She cut him off, watching as he turned his head quickly to face her, his expression a lock of shock and offence, “While they wait for you, their factions wait for them. You keep our entire Brotherhood on hold in a most dire hour to fuss over the Contessa who I’m sure if capable enough of getting her own health in order with the medico.” Ezio had stood now from Caterina’s side, bewildered at his wife’s ill temper. 
“Amore-“
“You have a job to do so go do it!” She snapped, “I have recruits to attend to and correspondence to deal with.” And with that said, she stormed off to the study in order to deal with the letters sent from the Brotherhood’s contacts across Italia. 
She set the few recruits that she had gathered in Roma some training assignments and filed through all the available contracts in the Mediterranean, even going as far as to reorganise all the books of the study’s library. All of this was done to avoid going to bed, knowing that Ezio would be there and knowing that he wold ask her about her attitude from earlier. 
It was when she was obsessively trying to get the paperweights in position that the door opened. In stepped the last man that she was willing to face in that moment: her poor husband who had suffered the brunt of her lashing out in jealousy. 
“Gioia,” He began, his tone soft yet cautious, “come to bed.” 
“But I need to sort these out…”
“I’m sure that the papers won’t grow wings and start flying any time soon.” He walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder and inhaling deeply as he pressed his face to her neck, “Come, I want to hold you and talk.” 
“I just need...” She obsessively tried to get the weight to fit between the lines of the letter perfectly, some part of her mind telling her that everything would be alright if all these little things were exactly where they needed to be, that she wouldn’t have to talk about her feelings if she just got these other things sorted out first. 
“You need to lay down with your husband,” One of his palms splayed across her stomach, tenderly rubbing up and down as his other hand caressed her waist, “and let him hold you in his arms,” A soft kiss pressed to the nape of her neck, “and tell him all about what has you so stressed. Doesn’t that sound good?”
“Yeah, except the talking about my feelings bit.” She mumbled as the weight refused to quite fit between the lines, tears pricking her eyes, even if she tried to laugh a little. Ezio hummed knowingly. 
“Come on…”
“Ok...” She surrendered, letting him lead her upstairs with one arm around her waist while his free hand held her own, smaller, hand in his. 
He lead her up to their room where he began to strip her of her clothes that day, leaving her in a chemise. He frowned in sadness at her apathy, the way she didn’t melt into his touches as she usually would, and worry set into his veins. 
He pulled her to the bed where he lay beside her, propped up on one elbow while she laid on her back, her bottom lip trembling, eyes glassy and jaw held tight in determination to keep a cool composure. 
“What has upset you?”
“It’s stupid.” She replied simply, “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you or worried you, you don’t deserve that.” She took in a quick breath and covered her face with her hands, a small sob escaping her lips, each one that followed like a pair of scissors to his heartstrings. 
“If it’s making you feel this way, it can’t be stupid.” He rested a hand on her arm and she turned away from him, her hand gripping the case of the pillow under her head impossibly tightly. 
“It’s the Contessa.” She mumbled into the plush pillow, her cheeks already heating up in humiliation, “The way you risked your life to save her today and then you were fussing over her health and...” 
“Amore, you know that I would do all the same and more for you.” He spoke, almost in disbelief that this is what she was so upset about. There was a long silence as she wrapped her arms around her torso, hoping that somehow she could physically hold herself together with her arms. 
“Why did you marry me?” Fresh tears wet her cheeks and she muffled the sound of her crying in the sheets. He drew closer to her and held her in his arms, feeling her frame jolt with each sob. 
“Because I’m in love with you.” He replied simply, “I’m in love with the way you see the world and people, I’m in love with your passion and humour and intelligence.” He squeezed her tightly. 
“But you could have had any woman you pleased, any woman you’ve been with before. The countess of Forli: the only woman strong enough to run her own city and even fend off Borgia armies.” She hesitated but now that she had bottled up such strong emotions all day, the glass had cracked and no one could hold in its contents lest they slice their hands on the glass. “And don’t think I didn’t overhear that night back in Monteriggioni when I was still just the decipherer Leonardo had sent for the codex pages.” 
Once upon a time, this would have been a time for Ezio to be boastful, but now that he was a married man, he only felt rather embarrassed instead. Looking away for a moment, his eyes came back to land upon his wife. 
“You worry that you don’t live up to the women I’ve had before then?” He asked cautiously, knowing that this question may well only make things far worse if he were wrong. 
“She’s a fucking countess who runs her own city and has her own armies, not to mention the fact that she’s also very clearly good in bed. Who am I? The goddamn babysitter of all the recruits.” She threw her hands up in the air before rolling onto her back and turning her head to face him, at last, with teary eyes. 
“You, amore mio,” He began, reaching a hand up to cup her cheek, turning his body even more so in her direction, “are the woman who stole my heart so quickly, that I simply couldn’t wait to marry you.” It was true, they had only been seeing each other for just over 18 months when he asked her to marry him. “You’re an Assassin who is fighting for everyone in Roma and then all of Italia behind her borders.” A conviction began to grow within his voice as he took up her left hand in his, holding it up so that she could see her wedding and engagement rings. “You are the only woman in this world that I want to spend the rest of my life with.” He brought her hand up to place a kiss upon her knuckles. “I have had histories with women before, we both know this… But they are the past and you,” He leaned down to place a soft kiss upon her lips, lingering and tender, “are my future.” 
A small smile quivered upon her lips as fresh tears welled in her eyes, tears of an overwhelming sentiment of love. 
“I love you with all my heart, Ezio.”
246 notes · View notes
itssleepyrabbit · 4 years
Note
hi! wow i super love your art and i don’t have enough dabihawks in my life 🥺 was wondering if you had any fic recs for them?? 💕💕
aah thank you so much!! 💕💕 💕💕
BOY IF I DO HAVE!! alright buckle up this might get long (most are fluff and SFW~ i’ll put a NSFW warning but be sure to look at tags in all of them!!)
Bed I made (lie in it with me) by  silverwordswrites
“Touya is in desperate need of a plus-one for his brother's wedding and Keigo is infinitely curious about the man who he was sure used to hate him in college.” 
-- the summary says everything and honestly it’s one of the most romatics dabihawks fics i’ve read.
On-going
He Doesn't Love Me by  Fatally
“Dabi doesn't love him. He's accepted that thorny truth, swallowed it down and let briars grow in his chest, drinking down his blood like water.Or: The one in which Hawks settles for pining for his entire life and doesn't realize Dabi's been staring at him the entire time, too.” 
-- I love pinning Hawks with a burning passion.
Completed
sweetheart, is that you? by  fuckendeavor666
“dabi and hawks say i love you (without actually saying i love you) in five different ways.“ 
-- This is my absolute fave dabihawks fic
Completed
Deck the Halls With Boughs of Folly by  DrAphra
“In which the League has acquired a new fancy mansion -with all the heating and food and plush beds they could possibly need - but they still prefer to spend the day out in the wilderness with just each other. Plus Hawks.“ 
-- Honestly all Aphra’s dabihawks fics are more than worth it but this one has a special place on my heart.
Completed
fuck, im so young - orphaned
“Todoroki Touya writes poems.
Words upon words of heartfelt confessions, letters of sing song fantasies, syllables of feelings he never got to say out loud.
When Todoroki Touya hits sixteen, he burns himself to death.
When Dabi hits twenty four-
He meets Hawks.” 
-- i don’t know how to explain but this fic it’s pretty
Completed
Feathers and Feelings by  Toboe1087
“Hawks keeps leaving feathers on his pillow, and Dabi's about had it.
(like hell he'd let anyone else have them, though)”
-- Dabi preening Hawks feathers is a blessing
Complete
(this is not a) swan song by  bittermoons
“"Who's your favorite, then?"
"Hawks." Touya doesn't miss a beat. "Definitely Hawks."
"What? Seriously? How come?"
"He has his flaws, but at the end of the day, he's trying to do good. It's something he always strives for. Dabi, on the other hand...if it weren't for Hawks, he wouldn't be a hero, that's for sure."
[Or: How a secret is revealed, and what comes afterwards.]”
-- Adorable no quirks AU with manga artist Touya and oblivious Keigo! Another author i adore pretty much all dabihawks works.
Completed
You can't trap the sky in a bottle by thyandra
“Letting Toga organize the accommodations for their trip might have been a mistake. This particular truth becomes obvious to Keigo as he opens the door of his hotel room for the first time. There, staring back at him mockingly, is a single, king-sized bed. It’s only by virtue of all the years spent perfecting his poker face around his adoptive parents, that he manages to keep his face straight. At his side, Touya clicks his tongue. “They must’ve given us the wrong key.””
--(no quirks AU) I really love they way Dabi and Hawks are written here i can’t express it in words and so so much pinning
Completed
A Tale as Old as Time by  EloFromMars, Gotcocomilk
“Dabi and Hawks are hit by the most improbable Quirk: both are yeeted in Fairytales land and have to rely on each other to get out of this.“
-- this was such a fun read omg
Completed
A Romance Written All Over Your Body by  minatsukinoamayo
//NSFW mind the tags!//
“Hawks is assigned to infiltrate the League of Villains in order to expose them. Hawks usually never fails a mission, but Keigo usually never falls in love, either.A story of how Hawks falls from grace to become a villain, because hero society has failed them all.
OR
5 times they're not in a relationship and 1 time they are.“
-- you know those fics you say “one more chapter” and it’s 3AM
Completed
it caught spark in your eyes by  youareoldfatherwilliam
//Mature - Implied Sexual Content//
“Keigo’s quirk is powerful, but sometimes it comes with unintended side effects.
Or: A 5 + 1 fic of five times the more…instinctively bird-like parts of Keigo’s quirk took over accidentally during his relationship with Dabi, and one time it happened entirely on purpose.“
-- I was screaming about this particular fic on twt the other day pls give it a read if you can it’s so so so good! Any fic that has Hawks with bird traits has a special place on my heart
Completed
The Others by  threesipsmore
//Mature - 2 sexual scenes, nothing too explicit but they’re there//
“"Skeptic's starting to think he’s more important than me,” Toga sneers, an acidic edge to her voice. “Making decisions on his own, sending out birdie without even talking to me first.”
She’d simply acquiesced to cooperating with Skeptic, but from day one the complaints had never stopped. In this tiny room layered with sushi and cakes, Dabi was forced to listen to her whining.”
-- You go birb, you get that man
Completed
Equivalent Exchange by  inexchangeforyoursoul
“Keigo blinks the blurry oblivion away from his eyes, although some part of it is oddly stubborn and to stay indefinitely. There's three things he's certain of: first, he’s alive. Second, just by looking at the bed and windows he can tell this is no villain hospital or torture room. Third: something feels wrong. Very wrong.
The silence… is deafening.
xxx
To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
If so, what of a bird that has lost its wings?”
-- i had so many feelings reading i can’t physically explain them to you also PINK HAIR DABI PINK HAIR DABI
Completed
dabi's 5-step guide to being a better parent than endeavor by  twinkfrankenstein (orphan_account)
“A little voice inside his head whispered spitefully about how this was no place for a child, and how he was making a mistake and would only traumatize the kid, yada yada. He responded with an equally spiteful-
“Fuck off, its not like I planned to do arson today.”
(or: how Dabi becomes a good dad just to spite his own, realizes he kinda sorta maybe likes Hawks for realsies, begrudgingly admits the League cares and finally comes to terms with his protective side. Not in that order.)“
-- this legit made me laught out loud idk what else tell you
Completed
The Todoroki In-Laws by  aphrodaisyacs
“Over 10 years after the fight against the Paranormal Liberation Front, Rumi, aka the part-time hero Miruko and the proud wife of one Todoroki Fuyumi, decides it would be an awesome idea to create a groupchat with the significant others of the other Todoroki siblings.
Maybe things would be easier if its members weren’t two Pro Heroes, a former one and a rehabilitated villain, but…Honestly, where’s the fun in that?”
-- this is not dabihawks focused but it’s so funny pls
Completed
With Being Petty Comes Consequences by  CursedUndead
“"When we were saying fuck pro heroes, I didn't think you literally meant FUCK them," Tomura grumbles, kicking over an empty beer can.
"Pretty judgmental for someone fucking a pro twice their age," Touya says.
Tomura squints, and says, "Ten years is not twice my age."
Or, after spending Enji's money, Touya is forced to babysit for the number 2 hero to pay him back. Touya makes it his life's mission to fuck his new boss.”
-- this only has 4 chapters but i know it’s going to be one of my faves
On-going
The Truth series by  AmethystUnarmed
-- Hawks gets hit with a truth quirk and starts to be actually free by the power of love, friendship and a bit of crime <3
The last entry is on-going
and if we sit and count it up it's really not a lot by  sincerelysamedt
“Hawks finds a bento box in his messenger bag and almost cries.
"Is that a loving wife bento?"“
-- please PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD READ THIS ONE /sobbing noises/
Completed
steal your heart by  darlingest
//Mature//
“When infamous thief Hawks announces that he is going to steal the heart of Endeavor's son, everyone expects him to prey on Shoto Todoroki - nobody suspects Touya to be the actual target.“
-- Villain Hawks and civilian Dabi are my guilty pleasure and this one it’s so soft too i’m- djsahfdjkfhadf
Completed
darling, thank god it’s this universe we’re in (and you can annoy me as much as you please) by  juurensha
“ Todoroki Rei divorces Endeavor and moves all four of her children into a small apartment next to a boy with wings as red as the hair of her eldest son. “
-- This was one of the first dabihawks fics i ever read and, to this day, i come back to it when i feel i need the extra burst in happy feelings and check their other works too! Honestly all are such a good fucking read
Completed
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juminsmysticmc · 3 years
Text
Pregnancy Series - Part 2
Tumblr media
Finding out 
Hope you like the second part of my pregnancy series! 
Click here to read Part 1!  
Jumin 
You dried your tears after you dried your hands with the towel next to you, observing the pregnancy test you just took in front of you.
You hated that one stick so much that whenever your period was late, your heart was beating in fear and not happiness.
One and a half years passed ever since you and Jumin began to try for a baby and there was still no baby.
You couldn’t bear seeing your husband’s sad face anymore whenever you gave him the news that you weren’t pregnant and that this was just a false alarm.
You were sure that this time too, the result wouldn’t be the one you hoped for.
A last glance on the clock made you look at the pregnancy test for the last time before you would toss it into the trash can since you had to get the breakfast ready for Jumin, but somehow this time, something was different.
Your heart was beating crazily in your chest as your cheeks grew warm.
You slowly placed your hand on your belly as you watched the results on the stick you hated so much.
,,Pregnant’’ it said.
You slowly sat back on the toilet, the pink stick between your hands as you read it again. ,,Pregnant,’’ you gasped, trying to gulp the tears away.
,,J-’’ you were about to call your husband when your brain decided to think about this logically.
What if the test is false and he gets excited?
And so, you instead decided to not say anything and instead put the test in your pocket to hide in a bag so that he wouldn’t see anything.
The first thing you would do, however, was go to the doctor after breakfast.
,,My love, I forgot that I have to meet a friend after breakfast. I know I shouldn’t come late as your second secretary, but-’’
Jumin kissed you as he took his bowl of rice.
,,You are my wife and are allowed to do anything. Do you need Driver Kim perhaps?’’ of course you declined and even though you knew, you just lied. You knew that this was going to protect him…
,,Six weeks pregnant, Mrs Han. Your pregnancy test wasn’t wrong,’’ the doctor told you after a checkup, making you tear up.
She then made you follow her to a room where she made an ultrasound and eventually gave you your first picture of your baby.
The doctor explained the next steps, telling you that she wanted to see you regularly.
,,I’m so happy that you finally are here on your way and you did well. It's daddy’s birthday this weekend and you are already a perfect baby,’’ you sobbed as you looked around for some ideas for Jumin’s surprise...
Zen
,,I don’t think I can come today,’’ you groaned as you laid back as you just came back from throwing up into the toilet.
An acidic taste was left in your mouth, making you feel disgusting.
As if an upset stomach wasn’t enough, you even had a slight fever.
Your body felt weak and all you wanted to do was sleep, well, not that you could do anything else in this condition.
Your boyfriend looked concerned for you. The possibility of you being pregnant wasn’t even on his mind since the both of you finally gave up, wanting to wait again after so many failed attempts.
Well, Zen wanted to try more. It was more so you who couldn’t bear it mentally and so he stopped buying pregnancy tests.
,,It’s the time of the flu in February… well, I’ll stay with you,’’ Zen whispered and kissed your nose, feeling sad to see you so sick.
,,No,’’ you tried to stop him.
,,You need to go to work. It’s okay, I’ll sleep a bit and later when you are back, I will be better and I will be able to go to the doctor,’’ you told him, closing your eyes because right now everything was spinning in your head. You just wished for it to get better.
Zen hesitated, but agreed afterwards, giving you a last kiss. ,,I will come earlier, I mean, I took a holiday leave for tomorrow so I shouldn’t have much to do today,’’ he told you and quickly left as he was late for work.
You decided to close your eyes for a few seconds again before a big feeling of nausea hit you again, making you run to the toilet.
,,Ugh, I hate throwing up,’’ you silently cried to yourself as you tried to hold your own hair back.
It didn’t take you long until you decided to dial your doctor's number on your phone and ask for an appointment this afternoon.
,,Thank you, I will be there,’’ you said as the nurse asked you to come right away, making you groan in annoyance and get changed.
The weather was cold as you stepped out, closing the door behind you and walking towards the medical facility, rubbing your hands together as you were freezing.
,,Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day,’’ you remembered as you walked past a shop selling chocolate, remembering that you didn’t buy anything for your boyfriend yet.
,,Pretty lady! We even sell chocolate done with a picture chosen by you! Want to give it a try!? I bet you have a boyfriend!’’ a woman smiled at you, showing you pictures of white chocolate with edible photos printed on it.
You thanked her, telling her that you had to go somewhere and had no time.
A few streets away you arrived, putting your mask on and entering the building, telling the nurses that you had an appointment.
,,When I heard that you had a slight fever and felt nauseous, I knew immediately that you were pregnant!’’ the doctor smiled at you after she checked you up and took your blood sample, making you look in shock at her.
,,R-really? I am...expecting a baby?’’ you asked her, tears slowly coming up and rolling down your cheeks as she nodded.
You immediately called your gynecologist to make a second check and also see if you could already have a sonogram since suddenly you had a very good idea. 
,,Ajumma,’’ you said with a teary face to the woman who wanted to sell you chocolate earlier.
The woman looked concerned at first, but quickly began to tear up herself as you held up a picture.
,,I just got this good news. Will you help me surprise this baby’s father?’’ you asked her.
Yoosung
Soon, you and Yoosung would celebrate your eighth wedding anniversary.  
You were currently sitting in front of the window, thinking about everything the both of you achieved until now.
A lot.
Yoosung had a stable job, you worked with the RFA, both of you had your own big house with a beautiful garden. Your relationship and marriage was the best, there wasn’t anything else you could wish for.  
Everything seemed perfect, if just that one little detail wasn’t missing.
A child.
Something you both could take care of and shower with love and affection as it grew up.
But some things weren’t meant to be. It was just too much for you to handle.
The disappointment you regularly had to face, the pain in your heart.
,,We should give up,“ you whispered as you kept looking outside of the window, tears in your eyes as you said these harsh words.
Giving up was something you would normally never do.
Yoosung hugged you from behind, knowing how much this situation was hurting you and how much this made you depressed.
,,I will be back for dinner,“ he whispered after a few seconds before he rubbed your arms and put on his jacket to step out on his way to work.
As soon as he was outside, you could finally let out that loud sob you held onto yourself to not make Yoosung pity you and cried alone in your room.
,,Ah, I need to go to the doctor today,’’ you groaned as you dried your tears with your palm, sighting and looking at your display as you calculated how much time you still had until you had to go there.
As soon as you arrived, you rolled your eyes in annoyance as you sat down in the waiting room, three pregnant women with their husbands on their side, smiling widely, feeling probably blessed. Today was a bad day.
You were truly happy for every pregnant woman in the waiting room, but seeing them made you angry and made you feel and think things you shouldn’t.
You were jealous, jealous that they achieved something you couldn’t achieve in all these eight years.
,,Mrs. Kim?“ the doctor called you, making you stop thinking about the women around you and instead look up at her.
Your doctor was smiling at you as she asked you to follow her, leading the way to her room where she asked you to sit down to talk to you.
,,How are you?“ she began, ready to listen as you told her that you wanted to give up on getting pregnant.
,,But before that I would like to check one last thing. Is that okay?“ she asked you, nodding as she typed something on her keyboard to note everything you guys talked about.
A bit annoyed, you watched her minutes later as she checked you, finally looking into your eyes, smiling at you.
,,Mrs. Kim, it seems that you are already pregnant. Five weeks,“ she smiled.
In disbelief you observed her, you could feel your eyes get teary. ,,But the last test-”
,,Sometimes they’re false, but you are pregnant,“ she cut you off.
While she talked about a few things you should keep an eye on, all you could think about was that tomorrow you and Yoosung had your anniversary and that this news was the best present you could give him, just like she just gave to you.
Jaehee
,,I just hope you are alright and that they can find out whether it is or isn’t Covid-19,“ Jaehee whispered as she looked out the window.
You weren’t with her together at home, something that already was difficult for her, but knowing that you weren’t feeling well somewhere apart from her made her feel even worse.
The both of you decided to have a little bit of time on your own, making you go to your parents home for the week. Neither of you ever thought that you would stay away longer.
The reason why you both decided to get a distance from your place was that both of you just agreed on giving up on getting pregnant.
It was getting too hard for you and her, knowing that your body couldn’t give you what you wanted - a child.
You and Jaehee already spent about 9.000 won to get you fertilized artificially three times and you both failed three times.
Six weeks ago, when the doctor told you once again that you guys failed, you decided to give up.
As if it was yesterday, Jaehee remembered your crying face in your dark, shared bedroom.
Your loud sobs and your trembling body on the floor.
You were devastated.
She couldn’t bear to see you falling apart anymore and she couldn’t bear to act like the strong one for both of you because she, too, was in too much pain.
As soon as your parents found out, they persuaded you to come back home for a bit to rest.
However, as soon as you arrived, the symptoms of the virus hit you.
You were feeling weak, had a slight fever, and you felt like your limbs hurt a bit.
,,I hope so too. The test was negative. Well, all my tests are negative,’’ you mumbled, making Jaehee feel bad without noticing.
,,Tomorrow they will take a blood sample, but I’m happy that you are feeling good, Jaehee,’’ you said as she told you that her COVID test was also negative. 
,,Okay, I will go and sleep a bit. Call me tomorrow as soon as you know something new,’’ she whispered before she cut the call, her thoughts by your side.
The morning afterwards, your legs were shaking in the isolated waiting room as you waited for your results to come.
Well, if it wasn’t Covid it would be something less worrying, right?
Indeed, the news the doctor had was less worrying since you were told that you were positive - positive for a pregnancy.
,,Huh? But, the doctor said…. we waited so long!’’ you told her, crying out of happiness but not believing her.
,,Yes, sometimes the test can be false or he made a mistake, but I am for sure that you are pregnant,’’ she nodded.
And so, happy that you could go home again, you decided to not tell Jaehee anything and instead surprise her with good and happy news…
Saeyoung
Your husband looked at you with a sad face as you once again felt sick and decided to stay in bed the whole day.
But he knew that you weren’t sick, but more depressed and sad.
He gulped as he looked over to the calendar.
It’s been almost two years since the both of you agreed on trying to become pregnant, even though he was sure that it would work out in less than a year.
But you both failed.
And the one that was hurting her body was none other than yourself, but he could just observe you and stand by your side.
Saeyoung’s eyes wandered over to your desk where countless pills and bottles were standing.
The both of you were currently injecting hormones into you to overstimulate your production of eggs.
He was nibbling on his lips. ,,Mc?’’ he asked you.
,,Mhh?’’ you hummed in response, turning your body to his side.
He hated to see you in pain, feeling unwell, and of course the stress of becoming pregnant was something that bugged you too.
,,Maybe… well no, to be honest, I think that we should stop with the injections wait one, maybe two years for the baby. What do you think? I mean, I don’t want to stress out your body,’’ he whispered to you, nervous for your answer.
You just sadly smiled at him and nodded as you slowly closed your eyes.
,,It’s a good idea. I think I’ll sleep for a while. I actually have a headache,’’ you lied.
Well, the truth was that you stopped taking the injections for four days already, something Saeyoung didn’t know.
He also didn’t know that you were already six weeks pregnant.
But you also just found out at your last appointment when the doctor told you that you were five weeks along, making you feel the most happiest wife on earth.
The reason for your lies was that soon Saeyoung would have his birthday and you wanted to make this day a special day for him, but also for his brother, who would be an uncle soon.
And so you decided to lie to your husband who was clearly worried as hell and told him that you were having side effects of the hormones.
Well, that was something you also thought at first.
The doctor told you from the very first injection that the side effects may be hot flashes, mood swings, nausea, and swelling, so when you first had them, you didn’t actually think that you were pregnant.
But you still wanted to talk with her about it to make sure that everything was fine.
To your surprise, it was more than fine and you were pregnant.
,,We just need to keep the secret,’’ you whispered, rubbing your still flat belly.
Saeran
You patted your boyfriend’s back as he once again sobbed at the negative pregnancy test.
,,I… I’m a loser,’’ he whined and looked at you, his eyes red and swollen from all the tears.
,,Maybe my mother is telling me that I shouldn’t become a father, that I don’t deserve it, that I am bound to become a monster like her and… ahh… so much is going through my head!’’ he whined and threw the test into the next corner, sobbing into his hands.
You slowly began to sob too, feeling guilty.
,,I’m sorry, Saeran… I wish I could do better,’’ you cried as you looked at him. He seemed so fragile.
Your boyfriend suddenly looked up. ,,Why are you apologizing?’’ he asked you. He couldn’t believe what you were saying.
,,I can’t give you what you want. I’m a bad girlfriend,’’ you whined.
,,No!’’ he sobbed again. ,,I’m a bad boyfriend and brother! I can’t find Saeyoung so I’m getting punished and you’ve been with me even though you didn’t do anything!’’ he told you, now hugging you and rubbing your back. ,,I’m so selfish, crying to myself even though you’re in pain too!’’ he sobbed harder.
And so this day, just like other ones, ended with the both of you lying in bed, sobbing into each other's arms as you thought about the future without children.
But it was still empty.
Days passed by and you and Saeran decided to give it up. For the time being, you didn’t want to get stressed, you wanted to enjoy life/ Saeran wanted to find his brother for real now and you just wanted to have a clear head.
But it didn’t work as you felt a sudden pain in your abdomen.
Sick and lightheaded, you laid back in pain, feeling a slight temperature that morning.
Some infection, you thought. Being pregnant wasn’t on your mind back then.
But after you didn’t seem to get healthy again, Saeran decided that it was best to bring you to a hospital.
,,Are you perhaps pregnant?’’ the doctor asked you and seemed to understand the case pretty quickly.
But you wanted a whole diagnosis. ,,No, I can’t get pregnant,’’ you told him, hearing these words from your own mouth hurt even more and so you once again felt your hot cheek as your eyes began to shed tears again.
,,Make a pregnancy test to make sure before doing anything else,’’ he told the nurse and went off to the next patient.
Indeed, the nurse turned back with a big smile, asking you again. ,,Are you sure that you can’t get pregnant?’’ she asked you, rubbing your arm.
,,The last test was negative,’’ you whispered.
,,Well, we will bring you to the maternity ward because it seems that you are pregnant,’’ she chuckled and pushed the wheelchair to the other ward.
,,Uhm, can you please not tell my boyfriend? I… I want to prepare a surprise for him,’’ you told her as you began to smile in happiness.
Finally good news arrived. Was it a sign?
Jihyun
Almost two years passed ever since you and your husband decided to adopt a new child to make Lucy into a big sister.
However, back then the adoption wasn’t possible, making you go for pregnancy.
But to you it just seemed as if God wanted to punish you for something.
,,It’s not working,’’ you sobbed as you found out that this time, too, you weren’t pregnant.
Your husband pressed his lips together and thought of something else.
Injecting hormones into you was something he wanted to avoid.
,,Maybe,’’ he began, looking at you and stroking your hair. ,,Now, we should stop for a bit.
You are stressed out and I’m nervous.
We are doing our best and I’m sure that one day the right time will come and we will be able to have a child on our own,’’ he told you.
He let go of your hand and kissed your head and then walked off to pack his bag.
Jihyun also had to go on a business trip for six weeks so he had to prepare a few things.
As consolation, the both of you lastly had a lovely and also sexy time together. This time you two didn’t think of having a baby, you just wanted to feel each other, feel closer and happier as you both wouldn’t be able to stay next to each other for a bit.
The next morning, Jihyun already left. The house felt empty and you were down, but for Lucy, you kept staying the happy mother she knew, waking her up, preparing her, as well as bringing her to school and then doing your house chores.
But it didn’t take you three weeks until it all backfired. You got a bad virus and weren’t able to get off the bed.
,,I’m so sorry that I can’t help you,’’ Jihyun gasped from where he was currently, feeling guilty.
,,It’s okay. Hyun and Yoosung are helping me and Jaehee keeps an eye on Lucy's tuition while Jumin helps with the hospital and medicine,’’ you groaned as you felt like vomiting again. It was eight in the morning after all.
,,I am such a bad husband. Three more people have to look out for you,’’ he chuckled, happy that you had support at home.
,,Well, you are providing for our family so don’t feel bad. Besides, it’s five. Saeyoung and Saeran are doing their best making Lucy happy and helping me too,’’ you laughed.
A few moments later, you cut the call as a red haired man, none other than Saeyoung entered your room. ,,Hurry up, I am taking you to the doctor’s. I read countless diagnoses with your symptoms and none of them is anything I would like you to have,’’ he said worriedly, helping you get ready after you vomited again.
But the diagnosis you had was much better than you all thought and with happy tears in your eyes, you entered your friend’s car again, actually shocking him. ,,I never thought that you could be so wrong with your diagnosis, Saeyoung. Actually, Jihyun and I are finally going to become parents!’’
Vanderwood
The both of you stopped counting the time at some point.
It just felt like a never ending story. It felt as if it was impossible for the both of you to archive what you wanted to.
Becoming a family.
Having a child between the both of you at night, caring for someone…
The more time passed and the more negative tests you held between your trembling fingers, the more you thought that this was an impossible dream for you.
You kept biting your upper lip as you looked into your calendar again.
You were once again bleeding. It was your period.
A sigh left your mouth as you looked over to Vanderwood.
Ever since he stopped smoking and was actually trying for a child, his mood had gotten weirder and harder to bear.
You weren’t happy anymore.
,,Yo, Vanderwood!’’ you called him, trying to smile as he turned your head over to you. ,,I… can we actually stop trying? You can smoke again and I can… maybe focus on my job for a bit… like, nothing has happened yet. Can we go slowly?’’ you asked him.
This was so out of the blue, he was actually so shocked, maybe a bit pissed off. You fell over him with this topic as if it was the most causal thing to say.
But he still said yes. He still nodded at you and he still agreed with you.
And so he really began to smoke a day later. Of course, smoking wasn’t that good anymore. He actually hated it.
But, he was sulking? He was hurt by you, a bit disappointed even though he could understand what you were trying to tell him.
A few days later, your period didn’t come as strong as it was supposed to be, so you decided to visit a doctor, maybe also to get a prescription for your birth control again.
But the news you got there was something you never expected.
,,You’re pregnant and you’re three weeks along!’’ she said, looking at you happily. She never had a woman who couldn’t get pregnant since she was still not a very well known doctor.
But you, one of her hardest cases, finally did it.
,,Since it was a hard fight, I want you to take these,’’ she said and wrote something down. ,,You need to take them to support your body with the change, make sure to come regularly. I think you already know what to do, but do not lift anything heavy, rest a lot, sleep, drink, whenever something feels off do not hesitate to visit me, okay? I will now schedule the first ultrasound of your baby and then you will have the assignment to search for a midwife to support you, okay?’’ she asked her.
Suddenly you felt so happy and scared at the same time that you didn’t know what to do.
But you already knew that there was someone at home that would be clearly happy to find out and you knew that for sure.
Part 3 of my pregnancy series here
MASTERLIST 1
MASTERLIST 2
MASTERLIST 3
🤰🏻ᴘʀᴇɢɴᴀɴᴄʏ sᴇʀɪᴇs🤰🏻Masterlist here 
12.05.2021// 23:55 MEST
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enaelyork · 3 years
Text
A John/Millie Romance Headcanon
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gif by @winterswake
Midnight Mass John Pruitt Taglist : @ysamans @thewondernanazombie , @maximumcoffeeme, @cherry-acid, @justme12200 , @sullyosully, @wolfieellsworld , @elisabethvanroseblood
+ Millie has always lived on Crockett Island. She is also very appreciated by most of the inhabitants, specially because she managed to open a library of which she is responsible.
+ Her fiancé, Georges, who is also her childhood friend, gives her some help sometimes when his father's fishing business doesn't require too much work.
+ She first meets John in the library, when he introduces himself to her with his long coat and strange hat. Without wanting to, she giggled when she saw him in this outfit.
+ When he asked her why she was laughing, she replied that it was not every day that she was asked for advice on religious books.
+ Obviously, she wasn't going to tell him about his ridiculous hat, because despite that she found it very charming.
+ After offering him a book on the scriptures that she particularly liked, she asked him if he was just passing through. We can say that, he replied.
+ The next day she was shocked to find that the man in the hat was actually the new priest in her church.
+ Damn, was she really making fun of the new priest?
+ He waited for her after mass and she gave him an annoyed look.
+ Is this what you call being "passing through?" She told him. The smile he gave her then stunned her heart.
+ They discussed for a moment the book he had borrowed before George appeared. She had the impression for a brief moment then that John's expression had changed.
+ It was probably just an impression, for he greeted him warmly.
+ Over the weeks, John came regularly to visit Millie in the library. On the pretext of a very strong need to read.
+ One evening, when she inadvertently opened a book he had given her back, she came across a folded piece of paper.
+ The correspondence between them through the books lasted for months. They discussed their literary tastes and what they thought of their common readings. Millie was always excited to receive a new note slipped into a book returned by the priest.
+ Then war broke out and George was sent to the front. + Despite her strength, it was hard for Millie not to give in to worry and fear on an island emptied of part of its population. And despite the listening ears of her friends, nothing seemed more comforting than listening to John.
+ Without realizing it they became particularly close, and it often happened that she found herself with John to help him with the daily tasks.
+ The war was the subject of their first clash. Millie found it hard to believe that God could let such a thing happen when John saw it as a trial.
+ What God is testing so cruelly? She had thrown at him in anger.
+ This God who puts you on my path every day… he breathed.
+ This was how they first kissed and ended up having sex. + They had felt guilty, both to the point of putting distance.
+ Despite this they saw each other again, because it was impossible for them to do otherwise.
+ George's comeback was a terrible news. Because while they had always made sure to keep their affair a secret, it meant Millie had to return to her role as a wife.
+ And he, in his role of priest.
+ Every night, alone in his bed, he thought of her in someone else's bed and it was the worst torture ever.
+ Until the day he had to celebrate his wedding.
+ That day, as she exchanged vows with George, he felt like her eyes never left him.
+ Seeing this man kiss her in front of the altar literally broke his heart.
+ He has never cried so much as he did that night.
+ Despite George's presence, Millie came to him one evening in tears. Not managing to forget what she had been through with him during those long months.
+ She took advantage that George left to visit family on the mainland to find John in a more intimate way.
+ They both knew it was probably the last time.
+ One day, when he entered the Church, he discovered a book lying on his altar.
+ He knew perfectly well who had dropped it there.
+ When he opened it, a folded piece of paper slipped out of the pages.
+ I'm pregnant, John. Were the only words that were written there.
+ And he immediately understood all that it meant.
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oliveroctavius · 2 years
Text
read the wedding and honeymoon issues ;_;
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I knew the dress was designed by a real life fashion designer but I didn't know he was going to show up as an in-universe character! That's cool!
I love how Aunt May is written in this issue it's been so long since she's been around and the "save a little love for me" line stabbed me. Somehow my favorite line of the issue.
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If you can tell Exactly what 60s drawing of the Coffee Bean was used as reference, raise your hand. (This one.) Harry's even got a BOWTIE on so it's throwback time, baby. I like how he gets to work out his feelings with his two college pals and their experiences with marriage. If he'd really gotten into it with Harry, he'd even find they share anxieties about being able to keep a wife Physically Safe.
Meanwhile, I feel really bad for MJ. There's a lot of focus on how broken up Peter is about losing Gwen, but it's MJ who must really be missing her. She's stuck with a bunch of famous people we don't know, doing the party girl thing one last time. Perhaps the writer just forgot she likes hanging out with Liz and Gloria and... well, I guess Betty is a little indisposed. I dunno.
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This also annoys me. No, Peter, it wasn't her choice to be dating Spider-Man because you NEVER TOLD HER. It is, however, MJ's choice to be marrying Spider-Man, knowing the risks involved, despite everything. Not a 1:1 comparison, emo boy.
I love that both Peter AND MJ are late to their own wedding because they both were fighting second thoughts. Drama queen/drama king relationship.
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LOVE how living with someone who Knows unlocks shenanigans. You just know there are dozens of jokes he's been saving up because they only make sense if he's doing spider things in civvies. And of course MJ loves a good show.
This silver age convo seems relevant to their honeymoon:
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HarryMJ sidenote: I feel like some of the "MJ is mean to Harry for no reason" stuff in college makes more sense in context of how she works with Peter's insecurities here. She winds him up more or does something outrageous to distract him and get him moving, knowing that once he's out of his head he'll feel better. She's trying to get him to put on a show. Unfortunately Harry just kind of crumples with the punches where Peter starts flipping tables.
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This artist really enjoys the one-eye closeup shot on Peter I guess.
As an engineer I enjoy when little technical difficulties happen like messing up the acidity of the webbing. Stomping out bugs is 100x more relatable than any genius-works-first-try nonsense they use to try to sell fictional tech.
Love that I was immediately able to peg the priest as a fraud because Spider-Man vs Wolverine had genuine bilingual bonuses so the phrasebook French had to be intentional. "Can I buy my tickets here?" "Excuse me, where are the toilets?"
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also, I love MJ and did I mention that I love MJ. Both MJ and Felicia are girls who Enjoy Problems but I think the difference is that Fel likes causing problems for and with Peter wheras MJ is perfectly happy to sit back and watch Peter cause problems for others by his own damn self. Dinner and a show. I love her, and I'm glad they're married, and (checks reading list) J.M. DeMatteis? Already??? Uh oh! Uh oh! Uh oh! Uh oh!
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messrmoonyy · 3 years
Note
same anon here that asked for the remus returning thing, sorry for the confusion i meant like after he gets back but they aren’t back together yet and there are those few days we’re dora is kinda cold and distant just to protect herself and remus is doing whatever he can :)
My girl Dora ain’t no doormat, no way was she letting him get away with treating her like that and just forgive him immediately. Remus did some grovelling for sure.
Pairing: Remus lupin x Nymphadora Tonks
Warnings: none
You can find all my other writing on my masterlist and remember my ask box is always open, I love any and all requests so please do send them my way!
Tonks woke up to the sound of quiet clattering, a scent of sausages and bacon and eggs. Fresh pastries and pumpkin juice. She opened one eye but the bedroom door was closed still, the other side of the bed as cold as it had been for the last month and a half. Ever since Remus had returned to her he’d been sleeping on the sofa, still trying to even come to terms with being able to look at him in the eye. Never mind sleep beside him. She had said she’d sleep on the sofa at first. It was his home after all, who was she to make him sleep on the sofa in his own home? But he’d insisted she take the bed.
She had deliberated moving to her parents. She knew that would be the eventual outcome anyway, they weren’t exactly in the position for her to just waltz into st Mungos to give birth. But the thought of staying with her mother fussing for longer than necessary wasnt all that appealing. So she had stayed put and waited for Remus. And now he was on the sofa until she finally shifted the last of her hurt.
She still loved him, of course she did. But she couldn’t shake the purely painful feeling of betrayal. He had come back so she guessed she should have been relieved. But it was the fact that he had ran in the first place. The fight had been bitter, his words stinging her like acid, biting at her, beating her down until she felt completely worthless. She’d never heard him say such things. She didn’t know he had it in him. He’d always been such a gentle soul, she’d only heard him raise his voice once or twice. But everyone has a breaking point, everyone snaps. And he had. At her.
She’d never known he could muster words so cruel. Didn’t know his usually gentle face could twist into such hatred. Didn’t know he could look at as if he could barely stand to be within ten feet of her, when he so often only looked at her with adoration.
He’d come back quite literally begging for her forgiveness, down on his knees and finding every and any word he could to try and prove how sorry he was. She had let him back because she loved him. Because she was carrying their child. But she hadn’t forgiven him. And she wasn’t about to anytime soon she guessed. No matter how hard he was trying to win her back around.
He kept leaving her gifts, there was a constant supply of fresh flowers for her every morning. She had ignored them at first, leaving them on the kitchen counter to wilt and die. He’d started placing them in a vase now. Sometimes it was breakfast- like it seemed to be that morning from the smell. Fresh pastries on the pillow when she went to bed, chocolate frogs in her sock drawer, copies of the quibbler because she liked the comic pages, the list was never ending. She couldn’t lie that she liked his grovelling, it was really the least he could do after all he’d said to her. And she felt she deserved to have him pay for what he’d done.
She sat up in bed and sighed to herself, glancing over at the small box beside the bed that held her wedding ring. She’d thrown it in his face the night he’d left her, it landing somewhere at their feet in the front garden. She’d not even been sure on where it had landed. It had appeared on her pillow a few days after Remus had come back and she wondered if he’d actually taken it with him when he ran. Or if he’d just searched for it when he returned. She’d shoved it in the box and not touched it since. She wished she could’ve gone back to the wedding day. He’d been so happy. She’d been so happy. Her mother would’ve hated the wedding, but that had made almost a little more enjoyable. It wasn’t even the slightest part traditional.
A tiny church in what felt like the coldest part of Scotland going. Some strangers they’d met a few hours before in a local pub as witnesses, no big crowds of guests. No fancy white dress. She’d worn her boots and the nicest dress she could find in her wardrobe back home. Her bouquet had been some flowers nicked from someone’s front garden, one of which she’d pinned to Remus. It wasn’t perfect in anyone else’s eyes, but it was to her. To him. They’d shared their own vows, been bound together by magic and love and hope. They’d danced all night, stayed up until the sun rose sat up on a cliff over looking the sea. And of course the stumbled walk back to their B&B over the pub, the event that had inevitably created the tiny person residing inside her now. And that was that.
But the Remus that had shouted at her, told her that they had no choice but to her rid of the abomination they had created… that didn’t feel like the Remus she had married. She didn’t recognise that man. That wasn’t her Remus. That wasn’t the man she loved, had married, had given up everything for. He was a stranger to her.
She got dressed then, not wanting to fall into the hole of longing for Remus again and put herself in a bad mood, before leaving the bedroom. Remus was stood in the kitchen and smiling at her as she opened the bedroom door. The bedroom was the only place in the house that offered her privacy, the rest being tiny and open plan. She spent most of her time in there just lately and thankfully for her, he often left her to it. The bedroom being almost out of bounds to him. He hadn’t stepped foot in there since coming back.
“ good morning Dora “ he greeted quietly and she shook her head at him, raising a hand and pointing at his face.
“ no. I told you already. You don’t get to call me that now “ he looked down at the floor for a moment and nodded. He looked like a kicked puppy but she told herself she didn’t care. He deserved to hurt like she had. He did.
“ right. I’m sorry. Tonks “ he cleared his throat awkwardly and gestured to the table “ I. I have breakfast for you. I have to nip out to the Weasleys for a while but there’s more food in the fridge for you if that isn’t to your liking “ she sniffed and turned her head away from the table. She didn’t know why but his kindness just made her mad. Like a switch flicked inside of her.
“ and you’ll return this time? Or planning another week away? “ he sighed and ran a hand through his hair “ need another chat with Harry so you? Listen to a child’s advice but not your own wife right? “
“ Dora ple- “
“ no! “ she hadn’t completely intended to shout but she had. She closed her eyes, balling her hair into fists and tried to get rid of her sudden lack of calm. She could feel angry tears burning behind her eyelids and she blamed her messed up hormones. She refused to cry in front of him again. Refused to show the hurt he was still causing her weeks after her left “ just. Just go the Weasleys. Go on “ he hesitated for a moment and gave a small nod.
He knew better than to argue with her now. Knew it would get him no where.
“ just. Please make sure you eat something. It’s not good for the b- “
“ don’t stand there and pretend you care “ she snapped “ don’t “
“ Tonks I do. I do care I have apologised I don’t know what else I- “
“ if you cared you wouldn’t have left “ there was silence then. So quiet it was almost painful. But she felt like twisting the knife, plunging it deeper and drawing out as much agony as she could. She wanted him to hurt like she had, to feel the pieces of his heart shatter inside his chest, splinter his lungs so it felt as though no air could reach him. Make him feel how she had “ I am only here because unfortunately for me. You are the father of my baby. I don’t care how much you apologise. I will never forgive you Remus Lupin. Never “
The words burnt her own throat as she spoke them, and regret seeped into her chest. But she stayed firm. Refused to cry. Refused to feel guilty. He deserved it.
She had clearly struck a nerve. His eyes swam with pain, his hands hanging limply at his side. Defeated. Hurt. She’d won that round.
“ I don’t know how many time I can apologise “ he said weakly “ I know it’ll never come close to repairing what I did but- “
“ please. Just go to the Weasleys “ she said with a sigh and turned away from him as her tears finally fell. She didn’t want him to see. She closed her eyes. gripping onto the kitchen counter so her knuckles turned white. She heard movement behind her and the front door opening.
“ please make sure you eat “ he said softly before the front door closed and she dropped down to her knees, letting her tears run freely. Her body wracked with sobs
————————-
When Remus had been on the sofa for 2 months, and Tonks was finally starting to pass the phase of just looking a little fat, to actually looking pregnant, nearing her 4th month. She had started to become a little more forgiving. She had started to sit with him at breakfast again, didn’t shut down every single conversation he tried to start with her, sat beside him when he read by the fire in the evenings. Though she always left a fair space between them.
She found she’d started to miss him greatly. Trying to deal with how much her body was changing on her own wasn’t exactly the most fun thing. Remus was still piling her with as much affection as he could, even though she still wasn’t particularly receptive to it. But she had to admire his determination.
“ Nymphadora. I was wondering if I could have a word “ she turned to face him as she toed off her boots, having only just gotten home from a trip to see her parents “ please. If you would “ she hung up her jacket and nodded, walking over to him as he gestured towards the table where a small yellow gift bag was sat.
She sat down at the small table, it had an old copy of the prophet folded up under one leg to stop it from wobbling, but it still moved slightly when she picked up the gift bag.
“ you can’t buy my forgiveness “ she stated, not looking inside the bag “ I told you that already Remus. I can’t be bought “ he gave a small nod, clasping his hands tighter.
“ yes. I know. I do. Just- please “ he nodded towards the bag and she hesitated but sighed before pulling at the ribbon and pulling out the tissue paper. She froze when her figures fell upon a soft cotton and she realised what was in the bag. She pulled it out, dropping the bag to the floor “ I wasn’t- I wasn’t sure on the size or- it’s like Hufflepuff, you see? Of course I couldn’t get an official one. It was a muggle shop and I had to be quite quick I didn’t want to risk anything. I mean I had options of course but- “
“ Remus “ she cut him off. It was a babygrow. It was a pastel green with a badger embroidered on the chest. It was the first piece of clothing their child had. She hadn’t exactly had the best of opportunities to go shopping down Diagon alley for some herself.
“ Dora “ he tried her nickname again for the first time in weeks and this time she didn’t chastise him for it “ I know I’ll never be able to take back what I said. But as I told you when I returned. I had time to think. And these past months I’ve been thinking too “ he reached out gingerly for her hand and when she didn’t pull away he gently took it in both of his “ all I ever wanted was a normal life. A normal family. And now… now I have that chance. With the woman I love and. And our child “
“ and what if he’s not… ‘ Normal ‘. If he’s different. I’d hes half werewolf. Or full. Or. In between “ she was getting a little tense with her words again and she tried her best to remain calm. She was finally getting a truthful and meaningful opinion from Remus on the matter. She should be thankful for that. Even with the betrayal still poking the back of her mind occasionally.
“ then I’ll love him all the same. He’ll be could be born with four legs and 5 arms, two heads. No magic at all. I’d still love him. Because we made him Nymphadora. You and I. And I…. I never thought I’d get that. I never believed I’d be a father. A husband. Now I have that opportunity and I see how much of a fool I was to try and throw that away “ he squeezed her hand gently, his thumb rubbing circles over her knuckles in a soothing way. She knew him well enough to know when he was lying to her. And he wasn’t now.
“ let’s deal with the possible moon situation before we worry about any extra limbs shall we? “ she said with a small smile and watched as he seemed to relax every muscle in his body, his worries that she wouldn’t accept his apologies slipping away “ I won’t forgot what you said to me. And to him “ she placed her free hand on her stomach as she spoke “ but you’re his dad. Nothing is going to change that. And the world really fucked up right now. Like. Really. And so we have to protect him. Love him more than we can even think about “ Remus nodded.
She refused to let the world ruin her baby, refused to let him be warped into a life of terror and fear. Of feeling outcast and alone like his father had. Remus stood up then and knelt down in front of her.
“ I love you Nymphadora. And I love him… or her “ she smiled slightly as he placed a gentle hand over hers that was still cradling her bump. Remus’ acceptance suddenly made it feel all the more real. In just 4 months they’d have a baby. A real one. Screaming and crying and laughing. A most innocent thing born into a world on the brink of disaster. And somehow her and Remus had to keep him safe. And kind. And loved. They weren’t exactly the most functional of couples so it was no doubt that their family wouldn’t be either. But they’d make it work. They would.
Werewolf or not.
—————————————-
It was another week after that that she finally caved. The talk had most definitely been the turning point. And she’d kissed him again that evening for the first time in months. Was actually letting him touch her again without recoiling. Though he was still on the sofa.
Though December had well and truly arrived. The cold weather setting her into an almost constant chill, the old cottage not offering much in terms insulation. And she missed having him wrapped around her. He was always warm. And didn’t complain when her cold hands found there way under his shirt in the night to warm up. She also just missed him. Just him. Her Remus. The man she’d fallen in love with. She wanted him back beside her, his slow breaths on her neck in the night, his legs tangled with hers. Even the way his facial hair scratched at her when they kissed. She just missed him.
So it was almost no surprise to her when she found herself slipping out of bed, the coldness of the stone floor seeping through her socks and chilling her already numb feet some more. She opened the bedroom door slowly to see if he was awake or not.
He was in the armchair, a book on his lap. Clearly having not planned to sleep there, he’d have a sore neck in the morning that was for certain. She grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa and silently walked over to him. The fire was crackling in the hearth, immediately warming her up. She moved the book careful not to lose his page, before climbing into his lap in its place. She wrapped the blanket around them, bring her legs up and resting her head on his chest. One more month gone and she didn’t think she’d be able to manage that. She wasn’t the tallest or biggest of people. So her bump was still pretty small. But she loved it all the same.
Remus stirred slightly and made a small noise of confusion to wake up and find Dora on his lap. He opened his eyes fully, his eyelids heavy with sleep.
" Dora? "
" go back to sleep " she whispered and felt him give a small nod as his hand tentatively wrapped around her, like he was still unsure if he was allowed to touch her or not. She snuggled in a little closer to him as if to say it was okay and he fully wrapped around her, pulling the blanket up to her chin. It felt right to be in his arms like that again. They’d snuggled on the sofa the day before. But not as… intimate as this. It felt normal again. Like she belonged there.
" why did you- "
" I was just cold " she cut him off, ignoring the way his raspy sleep filled voice made her melt. She was trying to show that she was still just that little bit mad at him. But she couldn’t deny that she missed him. That yes she was still hurt, that she might always been. But nothing could compare to the amount that of love she had for him. Still. Even after all he’d done. No one would ever come close to the way she felt for Remus Lupin.
" right " She lifted her head for a moment to find he was already looking at her. And she couldn't help herself. Because time was precious now. And she was wasting it being angry all these months later. She slipped a hand up to cup his face before pulling him in to kiss her. He seemed a little surprised at first, his lips frozen for a moment before they opened to capture her own. But she didn't blame him because she was too. She hadn’t planned for that night to be that night she let go of the final part holding her back.
" this isn't me forgiving you " she said against his lips once they pulled apart. Half joking. Half not.
" I know " he seemed quite truthful with that. Like he understood her thinking. Maybe he did.
" good "
" good " she kissed him again and found herself shifting in his lap, slipping a leg either side of him. Because she was mad at him, she was really. But she loved him more. Missed him more. Needed him more. And soon she was unbuttoning his trousers and bunching up her sweatshirt- that was actually his- around her waist, rolling her hips against him until she was panting out his name, gripping the back of the armchair so hard she was surprised she didn’t splinter the wooden frame.
They stayed on the armchair even after Remus had cleaned them up, trying to keep the warmth of the fire in her body, trying to share Remus’ own body heat.
" Remus " she said when she was certain he was just dropping off, her head against his chest. Heading his heart beating felt like home. The familiar sound she had so often fallen asleep to. Comforting.
" I know. This isn't you forgiving me " he mumbled, hurt tinging his words.
" actually I was going to say that I love you "
" oh. Oh right... I love you too. You know I do " his arms tightened slightly around her and she let herself calm to the sound of his heart. She waited again until she felt him slackening with sleep to speak again, a slight mischief in her tone.
" oh and Remus? This isn't me forgiving you "
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