#lauren's long answers return

[lovinpelova]

stupid | k. casparij

summary; being in a hot country doesn't do you any favours when kerstin is around, neither does having to share a bed.

🎵 power trip - j. cole

you had always forbidden yourself from even developing feelings for a teammate ever since you discovered your love for women whilst you were still in the england youth groups. you hadn't formed a crush on anyone or dated a girl on the same team as you and you planned on keeping it that way, you saw how messy it could get in the blink of an eye and didn't want to be involved no matter your age. you'd made the rule for yourself when you were fourteen and still maintain stubborn on it at the age of twenty-two whilst playing for manchester city and the england senior team.

well, apart from kerstin. she's an exception.

you thought you wanted to be her friend because you liked her accent, tattoos, style and got on well with her cat. a couple team bonding sessions later when you won bowling and hugged in celebration, you found yourself blushing and quickly scolding yourself for the butterflies that arose when her hand lingered on your waist. it didn't take long for your feelings to grow into a not-so-small crush and your teammates eventually started prodding at why you were constantly staring at the midfielder or blushing around her.

they already knew the answer, of course, they were just mean and wanted to hear you say it out loud. so you confessed after a month of teasing and had been subject to even more jokes ever since, now having figured today marked three months since your initial realisation and just to your luck, kerstin was your roommate for a two week long preseason camp in spain with your club. you had been fine so far since you weren't in your rooms for an extended period of time yet- but you knew when you headed up for sleep in a couple hours it would be difficult to keep your thoughts from racing; especially since there was only one bed.

there was a booking mistake with your room and it meant instead of having a twin bed suite or two doubles like all of your other teammates, you and kerstin were provided a single bed. not even a double bed, a single. the pair of you didn't make a big deal about it and figured one would sleep on the couch after a small argument on who does - but when you remembered there was no couch and definitely no spare mattress - you knew you were going to have to share a bed with kerstin after discovering there was no other rooms available.

so here you were, sat next to lauren hemp as you cooled down from your intense training session and watched your teammates try cut off some distance on their weekly running targets. the winger could sense you were trapped in your thoughts and after knowing you since you were fourteen, she had no doubt it was about your sleeping situation, how you were going to position yourself with kerstin right next to you was beyond your imagination. she nudged you gently with her elbow to break you out of your daydream and smiled when you returned the gesture, setting down your water bottle.

"you're probably gonna have to lie on top of each other or something. you do know that, right?"

her comment made you groan in further frustration and lie back onto the pitch, your arms covering your eyes from the sun that was blinding you.

"you mean cuddle, yeah?"

"pretty much."

the blonde laid down next to you with a sympathetic smile as she felt the stress radiating through your silence, her attention quickly being diverted as she heard footsteps headed your way.

"it won't be that bad. you're both sensible adults- and besides, something good might happen out of it!"

"what good could possibly come out of a situation like this?"

"i can feel your stress from the other side of the pitch, y/l/n."

a familiar voice broke into your conversation and you shot up just like lauren did a couple moments ago, watching the way she smiled sheepishly and quickly made her way over to the rest of your teammates. you looked up into kerstins eyes and nearly melted, the hot sun not doing you any favours when you saw how she'd rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and shorts to display her toned muscles and tattoos. immediately keeping your cool with a subtle deep breath, kerstin sat down next to you and leaned back on her hands to mirror yourself as the two of you admired the beautiful pitch you were on.

"if you want, i can share a double bed with one of the others?"

"no!"

both of you were taken back by your sudden outburst and you cleared your throat in apology as kerstin smiled widely at you, her eyebrows raised slightly as a smirk grew on her face.

kerstin wasn't stupid. neither was she deaf or blind. your teammates make secrets very hard to keep once they're out.

"i mean- no. it's fine, honestly. we're both adults and we'll figure out how we're going to go about the sleeping situation when the time comes."

"i was thinking maybe i be big spoon for the first week and then we swap? i need my share of cuddles too."

you nearly choked on your spit when you heard her, turning to see the brunette grinning at your reaction and smiling wider when she took note of the blush on your face. shoving her shoulder lightly, you stood up and waited for her to rise with you.

"like i said, we'll figure it out when the time comes."

"yes ma'am."

--------

the time had finally come.

you'd been thinking about it all day and stressing over every little thing you could do to make her uncomfortable. you were currently wiping the excess toothpaste from around your mouth and taking deep breaths as you looked in the mirror to calm yourself down, almost needing a peptalk. after deciding you were taking too long in the bathroom you headed towards the single bed and were met with kerstin sprawled across the entire mattress comfortably, her arms behind her head as she smiled teasingly.

"if that's how you always sleep, i'm sleeping on the floor."

"very funny. i need to find my charger quickly anyways, make yourself comfortable and i'll work around you."

the midfielder hopped up and began rummaging through her suitcase next to yours, taking note of how apprehensive your steps were towards the bed. she knew why you were so nervous about the whole ordeal but she also wasn't the type to make you stress even more by confronting you, so she plugged her phone on charge and watched you move about until you were comfortable, gently pulling back the covers from behind you and moving slowly once she heard your breath hitch.

you were about to share a bed with the woman you had hopelessly been crushing on for the past three months and the realisation had just hit you, feeling the bed dip behind your body as her quads brushed over your hamstrings. your body grew hotter and breathing picked up a tad, kerstin noticing and deciding she had to make you comfortable before you had a panic attack or jumped out of bed.

"can i-"

she started, her voice as hesitant as your bodies. a toned hand was hovering over your waist and if you turned to the right you would've noticed- thank god you didn't, or else you would have freaked out.

"can i touch you?"

kerstin asked gently, your mind running wild with all the other scenarios she could be asking you the exact same thing in as you nodded your head. her hand gently grabbed your hip as she pulled herself closer and the cover was now over her too, your bodies flush together with her arm wrapping around your waist to pull you even closer as your hand moved down to rest on hers that was gently tracing shapes along your stomach.

"you don't need to be so far away. it's only me."

"i just don't want to make you uncomfortable."

her chin rested itself on your shoulder for a moment as she took in your response, your breathing now slowing down whilst kerstin smiled to herself.

"you could never."

the dutchie pulled you closer and felt you relax in her arms within no time, silently wishing the moment would last forever.

--------

you woke up to your dreaded alarm ringing out annoyingly, groaning and turning your face to bury it further into your pillow as you fell back into kerstin's embrace. the midfielder chuckled lowly at your reaction to being reminded you had to wake up eventually, reaching her arm further around you to turn off your alarm but not moving to unravel herself from your touch. she tightened her grip and nuzzled her head into your neck, smiling softly when your hand reached to tangle itself in her hair and gently scratch the bottom of her neck.

the two of you were so caught up in your own bubble that she placed a kiss to your shoulder and trailed her lips upwards until they reached your pulse point, your head leaning back to let her move further before you both gasped in realisation and shot up out of bed. staring at each other breathlessly with bright red cheeks and fists clenched by your sides, you tried to rack your brain for any reasonable explanation but nothing came out, quickly gathering your training kit and pulling it on before heading down towards breakfast.

in seperate elevators.

"so... she kissed you?"

"keep it down you idiot!"

you shoved lauren towards your breakfast table and made quick work of continuing the conversation before any of your teammates could follow and eavesdrop, the winger apparently not knowing that everyone could hear her talking.

"only on the shoulder and neck."

"wha- and you just got ready in complete silence after?"

you nodded your head in confirmation as you both began digging into your breakfast, lauren obviously trying to rack her head for any explanation that could stop your thoughts from running wild.

"maybe it's just a natural thing for her to do that when she wakes up in that position, you know from her exes."

"yeah, but it still doesn't explain why she did it to me."

your conversation was cut short by esme and kiara taking their rightful places on the same table as you, a new topic arising to take your mind off that mornings antics. trying to keep your eyes off kerstin was proven very difficult to do in general, but now you could feel her staring glances and lauren would bump your leg whenever she caught her staring. it seems the winger had remembered kerstin also had friends she could tell secrets to, so she suggested you try talking to jill and mary.

after a couple moments of persuasion and arguing from yourself she called them both over anyways and stole mary for her own entertainment, giving you a look that said 'i'll ask for you' as you racked your brain on how to start the conversation with jill. the midfielder slung her arm around your shoulders and smiled down at you, walking to the pitch in a simple conversation until she dropped in the name you hadn't been able to stop thinking about for the past three months.

"so, did you and kerstin eventually figure out how to sleep last night? she was telling me about it."

you froze up momentarily with the thought of kerstin telling jill what happened on the morning on your mind, then realising they weren't close enough for the brunette to let it slip the same way she would with mary- oh god, she's definitely told mary.

"er, yeah. we had to cuddle for it to work but desperate times call for desperate measures."

"i wouldn't call cuddling kerstin a desperate measure. i know you wouldn't mind it but the woman is a good hugger."

you nudged jill at her teasing as she held her hands up in mock surrender, obviously being one of the many girls (everyone knew) that wasn't blind or deaf or dumb.

just like kerstin.

she was eyeing you up as discreetly as possible, doing the same to lauren and mary as she pondered on why you'd both suddenly taken such a huge interest in talking to her best friends. sure, you'd spoken before, but never for this long. she soon came to the conclusion that it had to be about her and lauren had to know what happened.

kerstin wasn't stupid.

--------

"y/n! do you have a sec?"

an unmissably australian accent called you over from your spot in the common room next to alex, you excused yourself and headed over to mary with a curious expression.

"am i in trouble?"

mary hadn't really ever spoken to you before, so her calling you over was a shock to your system. lauren must have said something.

"sit."

she dismissed your joke and patted the seat next to her with a soft smile, taking note of how stiff you were when you tried to make yourself comfortable.

"chick, i don't bite! relax. i just wanna talk to you about you know who."

lauren had said something.

"what about her?"

"well, lauren told me what happened this morning- and so did kerstin."

you both relaxed back into your chairs opposite each other but kept the volume of your conversation low. you knew lauren would have let it slip and kerstin wouldn't have told anyone but mary, she's not one to tell more than a couple people she trusts otherwise it spreads like wildfire and others start asking.

kerstin isn't stupid.

"how you feeling about it?"

"i'm just trying to figure out why she would do it. i mean, she only sees me as a friend, right?"

"...right."

the hesitance in mary's voice made your head shoot up in shock as she smiled sheepishly, your breath hitching in realisation. her eyes darted to your right and yours soon followed, watching as kerstin stood up abruptly with an annoyed expression, giving mary no time to apologise as she'd seemingly overheard.

"shit- kerstin wait!"

the common room was left in an uncomfortable silence that had you staring at mary in shock, lauren and jill giving each other knowing looks. it was obvious the aussie had just let a secret slip - a big secret - and kerstin was, understandably, not happy about it. the midfielder didn't need to hear the remainder of your conversation, all she needed to know was mary had hesitated to reply and you were hit with a sudden realisation, physically affecting you in a way that could be seen from across the room. the way both of you looked over to the defender meant you had to be talking about her.

kerstin wasn't stupid.

--------

"are you at least gonna let her explain?"

you asked whilst leaning against the doorframe of your bathroom, waiting for an answer from your roommate as she rummaged through her suitcase. your question made her look up and sigh in a way that had her shoulders falling heavily, watching as the midfielder sat back on her heels before standing up.

"nope."

she popped the 'p' just to make herself even more clear, the blunt response she rewarded you with indicating she wasn't in the mood to talk about anything. you hummed in reply and looked down at your feet in contemplation.

"look, i'm going down to play a couple rounds of pool with the girls. you know you're always welcome to join."

the brunette turned her head lightly to show she was interested, sitting on the edge of the bed rather awkwardly. you knew why she didn't take up the offer immediately like she usually did.

"if you want, i'll text when mary heads to bed."

the dutchie needed time to forgive and forget when it came to watching someone betray her trust, you'd known that for a while now just by judging her character.

"if you don't mind."

her quiet response was all you needed to walk over and place a hand on her shoulder, smiling softly when you felt her hand rest on top of yours.

"you're gonna have to speak to her eventually though."

kerstin wished she told you to stay and come to bed with her, truth is she was too tired to play pool in a couple hours time when she knew mary would decide on going to sleep- but if it meant she got to spend time with you she would stay up. within a couple hours you'd became the reigning champion at pool once again, potting the black more times than you could count as all the teammates that volunteered to play against you lost.

soon enough, mary said goodnight alongside the rest of the girls, leaving you downstairs with lauren and jill once again. you knew that they would want to talk about the situation so decided on keeping the silence present, texting kerstin that mary had headed up with the others and it was just the three of you that would no doubt welcome her if she came down for a couple games or some conversation. she responded in record-breaking time with confirmation that she was coming down and within minutes she arrived, taking a seat next to you that jill and lauren had so obviously left for her on purpose.

the couch was fairly small so your legs were touching and neither of you were pulling away, your friends taking note and discreetly nudging each other. they made a silent agreement to head up in a few moments with a reasonable excuse, watching as you and kerstin challenged each other to a game of pool.

"oh, you're so on."

you spoke cockily as kerstin smirked in response, clearly confident in her skills but knowing she'd never really played pool before. jill and lauren snuck upstairs without telling you, seeing you were too busy interacting with each other and this could be the moment you confessed your feelings if you were alone. a game of rock, paper, scissors determined you were breaking and you did so confidently, potting a solid as kerstin groaned and remained to the side whilst watching you think about your next shot.

"where'd those two go?"

her question broke you out of your game face as you searched around for them, discreetly rolling your eyes at their antics.

"probably got tired."

you covered for them whilst aiming your next shot and missing, kerstins mouth falling open at your form.

"how are you apparently so good at pool when my form is better than yours? i've literally never played before and even i know you're supposed to keep your elbow up!"

"if you're so good at pool show me how it's done then."

you replied sassily, expecting the brunette to take her own shot but were instead watching as she placed her cue down and walked over to your side of the table. she positioned herself behind you and put her hand behind yours on the cue, your fingers brushing.

"bend over."

the low tone she used sent shocks through your system and you had to take a deep breath whilst doing as she said, hearing a hum of approval come from her throat didn't make it any easier either. she bent down with you and her body was placed flush against yours, head almost resting on your shoulder with her hand placing itself on the table for a steady support.

"put your hand on top of mine and make sure your fingers are in the same position. that's it, just like that."

you followed her demand with ease, trying to focus on anything but her and failing miserably when mindless praise left her lips.

"which one you going for?"

"you choose."

the woman aimed for the ball you'd initially missed and shot after a moment of eyeing it up she was draining the ball into a pocket. she smiled in pride and turned her head to quietly speak.

"i have better form than you."

your head turned to hers and you were immediately taken back by the lack of distance, eyes unmissably flickering down to her lips as your breathing rates picked up in sync. kerstin moved her head towards yours slowly but surely, licking her lips in anticipation as her hand on the cue fell to your hip instinctually. her breath was fanning across your lips and you could practically taste her already; she was so close.

you both wanted this- you wanted it so badly. if you could, you would've had kerstin pick you up and take you right then and there on the pool table after carelessly moving the cue balls out of the way. her lips would be molded with yours as tongues clashed shamelessly, you would be reeling and kerstin would be claiming you as her own to take forever more with no resistance.

her other hand reached to hold your cheek intimately, both of you leaning in until lips were brushing. her mouth was practically on yours and you just were waiting for her to make the final move, close the gap.

"oh, sorry!"

a familiar scouse accent burst the bubble as you dropped your pool cue and quickly bent down to stop it from clattering, taking a deep breath whilst kerstin stepped away to a respectable distance and you both stared at the ground with bright red cheeks.

"i forgot my phone."

"no, you're okay alex don't worry."

the defender smiled sheepishly and rushed to grab her phone, apologising once more as you waved her off with a soft smile and watched her head back upstairs. you turned to kerstin and found her already looking at you, eyes dark and wanting. her gaze sent a shiver down your spine and you had to forcefully tear your eyes away, looking to find your phone whilst mumbling about how late it was.

the elevator ride wasn't awkward, neither was getting ready for bed in the same bathroom- being in the same bed after nearly kissing though, that was another story. she was unreasonably stiff and pulling away to her side of the bed, obviously not wanting to make you uncomfortable and you weren't fighting against it, only because you didn't want to make her uncomfortable. it was the worst night's sleep you'd ever had.

but waking up in kerstin's arms the next morning wasn't something you were ever going to complain about.

it seems you'd shifted towards each other in your sleep and adjusted out of instinct, her arms were wrapped tightly around your midsection as yours were around her neck. your head on her chest and legs either side of her waist with one hand drifting towards a thigh indicated kerstin had moved you there herself to gain more comfort, her head turned away from you to let yours rest in her neck.

"morning."

a raspy voice spoke after taking a deep breath and stretching out lazily, arms pulling you closer as kerstin tucked her head further into your hair. you felt her shamelessly inhale the scent of your shampoo, resisting the urge to pull away and deciding not to when she continued to ignore the realisation that she was doing it again.

"hope you slept well."

your hand traced shapes along her back comfortingly and a shared sigh left your lips, both of you remembering you still hadn't confessed your feelings. pulling your heads away and looking into the others eyes, you made no move to back up fully as kerstin let her gaze travel to your lips once more, quickly pulling her eyes to yours again.

"are we going to talk about what happened last night?"

"not until you let mary explain."

you response was quick and put kerstins hopes down immediately, letting her relish in the moment for a couple more seconds with her eyes closed and your lips knowingly teasing the skin of her neck to persuade her into hearing mary out.

"five more minutes."

her arms tightened themselves around your waist and trapped your bodies together before you could move any further to get up. luckily you had the day off, so a lie in wouldn't be frowned upon.

--------

kerstin turned to furrow her eyebrows at you disapprovingly when you shoved her towards mary, playfully flipping you off and making her way over to a hopeful aussie. you watched the two converse for a couple minutes whilst finishing up your breakfast, smiling at the hug they shared before kerstin got up and made her way to sit with you once more, stealing the last strawberry in your fruit bowl as you smacked her hand.

"and...?"

the defender caught your suggestive drift immediately and sighed heavily as she made herself comfortable, racking her brain to remember everything that was said.

"we're cool, forgave each other- back to besties."

you smiled and nudged her shoulder with your own teasingly, both of you laughing lightly and falling into a momentary silence as kerstin took a small breath to indicate she had something else to say.

"she also said what we have is really special and she wouldn't mind being my wingwoman."

"i think you were your own wingwoman last night."

"true, alex was a bit of a cockblocker though."

you gasped and shoved kerstin teasingly, both of you laughing with bright red cheeks once recalling the events of last night.

"speaking of last night, would you maybe wanna continue what was going to happen before we got interrupted?"

"are you asking for permission to kiss me, casparij?"

the dutchie smiled shyly and shuffled closer, an awkward aura taking over her body language as she grew more nervous by the moment. you placed a hand on her cheek to tilt her head towards yours, deciding to take the lead and just go for it, your lips connecting in a soft kiss before cheers were heard around the cafeteria.

"it's about time you two got together!"

"took you long enough!"

the girls confirmed that kerstin had been blind to your pining for longer than she thought, confusion written all over her face as she realised you'd liked her for longer than she thought. when it came to mutual pining, kerstin could be stupid.

[1d1195]

Most V

Read Most here | ~5.8k words

From me: I've been waiting for this part for a REALLY long time.

Warnings: *drum roll* SMUT, semi-public, unprotected, really needy 18+ also, some pretty angsty chats (and more Lauren)

Summary: Harry has been dying for this date for three years. And all the answers it comes with. Even if he doesn't like some of them. She missed Harry. Plain and simple.

With Addie off the phone, she gazed at her reflection for a moment. The girls did an amazing job with her hair and makeup. She felt beautiful. Beautiful enough to be on a date with Harry. He was one of the only people she had ever been on a date with (as much as she did it, she didn’t consider third-wheeling with Addie and Carter actually dating; and knowing Harry was her soulmate put a damper on the memory of her dates with one of the only other guys she dated, Beau, in the ninth grade). It was simultaneously terrifying and wonderful.

The thought of him made the nerves return. Closing her eyes, she smoothed down the skirt of her dress. It was light green. Nearly matched Harry’s eyes, which was why she selected it. There was a slight V-cut at her neck and had fluttery sleeves at the top of her shoulders. Eleanor insisted it looked beautiful against her skin and the skirt cinched slightly at her waist accentuating her curves and then came to a ruffled hem that hit just above her knee. With a pair of wedged nude sandals, she tried to create the effect that her legs were longer, but she slightly felt like she was playing dress up and this was not a date she was meant to go on.

“I just need to jump,” she whispered to herself encouragingly.

The full effect had Harry’s jaw nearly unhinged to the floor as she entered the kitchen. Eleanor punched him in the arm to keep him from drooling. Sarah smiled excitedly. “You look beautiful.”

“Extremely,” Harry nodded in agreement, his eyes scanning her in a way that made her feel naked, but in a really good way. She blushed so cutely. It made Harry’s heart skip a beat.  “Ready?” He asked.

She nodded. Because for the first time in ages she felt so ready to go on a date. Eager. Utterly excited to be alone with someone. “Yes,” she smiled.

*

Dinner passed in a blur. Truly, he was only thinking about the way her smile looked so nice on her lips. How soft her hair framed around her face. The way her skin practically glowed and it was only amplified by the makeup that she decidedly did not need but it looked like she was doing the products a favor by wearing them on her beautiful face. He was only pretty sure they spoke. Chatted about a variety of things but he wasn’t sure he could recall them in detail if asked because he was so overwhelmed by the fact that he was with her, on a date. After all that time.

He suspected there was stuff about work and college. He did remember he told her at least twenty stories about Mrs. Peterson and seriously worried she was one of his best friends, now. She talked about Carter and Addie. Gave an update on her mum and how she enjoyed living closer to her aunt.

But all those details disappeared. He was on a date with her. A date with the love of his life after three years of not seeing her and it was so goddamn effortless to talk to her, make her laugh, and smile with her.

It felt so good he could have cried.

“What are y’going t’do when y’finish your degree?”

“Uh,” she sighed, and Harry sensed her worry almost immediately. Wished he hadn’t made her feel uneasy even a little. Even if it was natural to feel that way.

A little anxiety about her future career was new for her. For the first time in so many years, nervousness that wasn’t because she was worried about him or her love for Harry was a bit of a curve ball. She knew what she wanted, and she wanted it badly, but didn’t know if it would pan out the way she saw it in her mind. “I’m not totally sure, actually,” she admitted. “I’ve got an online portfolio of my work, and I’ve sent it to a ton of publishers, magazines, et cetera,” she took a deep breath. “I could be really stereotypical and just continue waitressing by night and writing by day,” she shrugged. It wasn’t a bad gig. But it wasn’t what she hoped for exactly.

“Someone is going t’pick you up. You are too brilliant t’not be,” he sounded so sure—because he was. If there was anything he believed in, it was her, her dreams, and ambitions. “S’nice it can be... remote, yeah? Let you travel and visit your mum and whatnot,” stay here. With me. He thought silently to himself.

She nodded. “Yeah... I guess. But... I think I’d want to stay here.”

For three years, his heart was not inside his chest. But now it was back, the veins and arteries reconnecting to the rest of his body. Literally putting life back in him. It thudded so loudly he could barely make out the sound of the restaurant around them as he smiled at her. “Good,” he nodded. “Good,” he repeated quietly, relief heavier in his tone.

After a brief protest from her, (and for the first time since she arrived home, he didn’t even look at her as he pushed her hand away) Harry paid and signed the receipt for their meal. Once her glass was nothing but ice, he looked at her expectantly. “D’you want t’get coffee?” He asked, his voice full of hope because he didn’t want the night to end. Not even a little.

She nodded. If the night never ended, she would be glad.

Harry ushered her out of the restaurant, and she held her hand out for his. He took it eagerly and marveled at how her fingers fit the spaces between his; it felt like they were supposed to be there, and his hand was empty, not complete without hers attached to it.

They made their way toward the coffee shop up the road. Holding hands like they had done hundreds of times before. They chatted about the weather. He complimented the way her hair had lighter streaks throughout. She looked good. So good. “Louis and I have been running in the morning,” she told him with a shrug. “I think the sun hits different parts of my hair when it’s up and gives me this highlight effect.”

Harry had no idea he had been running with her. “You have?” He asked. Jealousy flooded him. It wasn’t fair to either of them. It was stupid. But the surprise was genuine.

“Yeah... the first time I went out and I saw him, I chased after him because he didn’t want to talk to me. But I buttered him up with those muffins I—”

“Holy shit, y’made the oat muffins?” He asked in shock. Forget what he said. The jealousy was real. She blushed, feeling bad she let Louis’ secret slip.

“You hate him now, don’t you?”

“Immensely,” he squeezed her hand as she giggled. “Did y’make the blueberry ones or the cranberry ones?”

“Do you actually want that answer?”

“No,” he shook his head quickly. “You’re right.”

“I’ll make some extra,” she offered.

Harry was about to ask her about breakfast tomorrow, but his phone began vibrating in his pocket. It was a great effort and made him feel awful, but he looked at it because he had to. As expected, it was his boss. “M’sorry kitten. S’work. Do y’want t’go in and order?” She smiled, nodding encouragingly. “Tell Lauren I said hi,” he said pressing the phone to his ear and stepping away from the shop a few paces.

Of course, someone was having a family emergency and without a family of his own, Harry was always the first call for overtime and help. There were still hours before he would need to go in. It wasn’t ideal, but still gave him plenty of time to finish his date.

It was well worth getting no sleep if it meant he could spend more precious time with her. It was one thing he was never going to take advantage of ever again. Time with her was the most invaluable thing he had.

“Everything okay?” She asked, holding out a cup to him.

“Thank you. Yeah... jus’... gotta do the overnight at midnight.”

“Oof,” she frowned. Then, much to his delight and surprise, she slipped her hand right back into his, like three years of nothingness didn’t stretch between them. Like they held hands for the last eleven-hundred odd days, every day. “Is that hard?”

For a moment, Harry was speechless, breathless, unable to remember what her question was asking. But then he brought himself back to reality. Harry didn’t like sleeping much. It was where he saw her most. All those dreams of what could have been... so no. It wasn’t hard to do overnights because at least when he was dead tired in the mornings after his shift, he didn’t dream. Didn’t see her. But he didn’t want to make her feel bad. “M’used to it.”

“Well, we can head home if you want to get a couple hours of sleep in before—”

“Do y’want t’go home?” He asked immediately, cutting her off, frowning at the idea of ending their night so quickly.

“No!” She answered just as immediately. Then, with a pink color painting her cheeks, she cleared her throat. “Just... want to make sure you’re... okay.”

Now he dreaded it. The couple of hours that he had seemed like nothing. There was no way he would get all the questions he wanted answered out in the open. But he had to start somewhere. “M’fine. Promise. Do y’want t’jus’ drive around for a bit?”

Silently, she nodded. “Please.”

*

Something shifted as they got back in his car. He wasn’t sure what, but it was a feeling like something had changed in the short time he was on the phone. It was in her eyes, the spiral of anxiety that was beginning to surface from inside her.

It seemed utterly unfair, and he silently hoped she wouldn’t retreat into herself. The thoughts of her leaving like she did three years ago rolled in his head so frequently now that she was home, he had a whole new set of nightmares to keep him company when he did sleep at night.

But right now, she was still in his car, and he had questions to ask.

For the time being, he pointed out new details on road signs that had been fixed and renovations to things in town she couldn’t see from the outside. She asked polite questions but really, he was just wasting time. So finally, Harry went to the next town over. He pulled into a little spot off the side of the road that fit exactly one car and gave a great view of the town. It wasn’t a mountain by any stretch, but high enough to make them feel tall and important.

He imagined it was a popular spot for teens with new licenses to make out as well.

Not that that was his intention.

There was a pause in their conversation. Comfortable and quiet. Then as Harry was about to ask her another question, she bounced in surprise at the sound of fireworks decorating the sky in front of them. “Wow,” she laughed. “All for me?” She winked at him.

He laughed and nodded. “M-hmm, had it all planned,” he watched the sky for a bit but the most beautiful thing he had the pleasure of looking at was her. So, he turned to watch her enjoy the display. She looked so pretty, her face illuminating every few seconds with a different color from the sky. He missed her so viscerally. Like even the freckles on his skin missed her. Every inch of him was plagued with wanting her even though she was right next to him.

If she went silent on him, he was going to lose his mind.

It was now, or never.

“Why did y’do it?” He whispered.

“Do what?” She asked, frowning at his quiet tone.

He closed his eyes, gripped the steering wheel tight. She had to know what he was talking about. “Why did you leave?”

Her breath caught and Harry felt bad for catching her off guard. But she had to know this needed to be said, needed to be dealt with. “Harry,” she sighed, swallowed hard. She looked out the passenger window avoiding the fireworks. “You should just... enjoy the fireworks. This isn’t—”

“Kitten, I need t’know.”

“I know,” her head knocked against the glass. He could just make out her reflection, her pained expression. It was rude of him to press. But he had to keep going. “But we—”

He pressed anyway. “You have t’tell me. Y’jus’ show up after three years of nothing. It killed me.”

“I know,” she croaked. “God, Harry, I know.”

“So tell me,” he was practically begging. “Don’t y’think I deserve t’know? You were m’whole world, kitten. S’not fair of you—”

“Harry, I fucking know!” She clenched her hands into fists in her lap. He was being unfair. In the time they were together they never fought. What did sixteen- and seventeen-year-olds have to fight about? When she left it was just sad. They never argued. So asking her to do this in his car on their first date after so many years, so many days of sadness and heartache, was completely unfair of him.

“I was so lost, kitten,” he wasn’t fighting fair at all. Coaxing her to breaking even though he had every right to know. She didn’t want the night to end and she feared it would if she told him.

“Harry—”

“Please, kitten. Baby, I just want t’understand—”

She choked out an involuntary sob the moment he said baby. “Because you deserved more than me! Okay? You deserved so much more than me and you wouldn’t have let me go so I just left, alright? You deserved more. So much more than me.”

The fireworks seemed quiet after her explosion.

But it didn’t make any more sense to Harry than the very day she first said it. “What does that even mean?”

Clearly, he broke something in her. She cried, hard. Breaking his heart further. He felt like an asshole, but he desperately needed to know. Her pretty makeup was going to be ruined thanks to him. “I don’t know. I don’t know,” she covered her mouth with her hand and sobbed into the window.

At least he had an answer.

Now for the next question. “Why did y’come back?” There was no answer for that. Just her quiet sniffles filled the car. She dug into his glove compartment for a napkin to wipe her face. If Harry wasn't so upset, he would have marveled at how she knew where everything was; some things didn't change even if they had. “Kitten, tell me.”

“Harry,” she whimpered. “Please...”

But he was desperate for answers. Desperate to put his heart back together. “I needed to see...” she croaked, her voice dying part way through the sentence.

“See what?” He was exasperated.

“That you had...” she swallowed. “That you had moved on.”

He turned away from her briefly, face twisting in anguish. He shook his head then turned back to her. He put his hand on her shoulder, asking her to face him and look at him when he said the next part. “Moved on?” He repeated. The words didn’t make sense. “How was I supposed t’move on, exactly?”

She sobbed and Harry wanted nothing more than to comfort her. Hold her and kiss her. He wanted to promise it was going to be okay. The way he always did when she cried. But he couldn’t. He needed to know how she thought that it was possible to exist without her. “I thought if I—”

“You are my soulmate, kitten. You know that.”

She whimpered, cheeks flushed, and tears streamed down her face. It pained him to look at her so upset but he had to finish this. Now. “You don’t believe in soulmates,” she whispered. Almost as if she wasn’t talking to him.

“But you told me we were,” his voice was crystal clear, definitive. No room to persuade him of anything else. She was his soulmate. She believed in them, so it had to be true. He believed in her. So that was enough. Harry gripped the steering wheel for all he was worth. Gritted his teeth as he asked his next question. “Did you move on?” The question was lost to the fireworks and the sound of her cries. But she clearly caught some of it.

“...What?” She whispered, tilting her head at him at a strange angle. Like he just told her that the grass was orange and it rained flower petals.

He inhaled sharply realizing he was agonizing over the thought. How long had he been holding that question in his head? Why didn’t he ask it sooner? Well, he knew why he didn’t ask it sooner. A large part of him never wanted to know the answer. “Do you have a boyfriend? Or... a fiancé?”

“Harry,” she rubbed her hands into her eyes.

“Goddammit," he sucked in a deep breath. "Tell me!” His heart was breaking.

“I didn’t date anyone while I was gone. I told people that I, and my heart, were happily taken. It never even crossed my mind, Harry,” she looked at her lap and swallowed nervously.

The fireworks complimented their evening perfectly. He released the breath he was holding and the grip he had on the steering wheel. The feeling came back to his fingers. His knuckles returned to the right color. “You said y’were taken?” He asked, thinking of the same notion he told Mrs. Peterson whenever she wanted to set him up on a blind date. Her gaze returned to his, and she held it for a moment, still in complete silence. Then she nodded. Her sniffles subsided.

Then she snorted, shaking her head with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “A fiancé, Harry? That’s ridiculous.”

“S’not,” he didn’t smile like she did. It was so serious to him. Felt it in his bones how serious it was. “Because if y’thought I was going t’move on from you... I don’t know, kitten,” he shook his head.

“No,” she repeated. Relief flooded him further. “I couldn’t... I took this first aid class,” she swallowed. “You would be really proud of me,” she smiled more genuinely through tears that filled her lash line. “I thought about all the things you taught me yourself when you practiced first aid and whatnot. I knew so much stuff. I was the class pet—”

“Course y’were.”

“—but we practiced taping wrists and ankles and I had to work with this guy, and I thought he was going to kill me,” she sniffed but that smile never left her lips. “I flinched every time his hand touched mine. He probably thought I was in a horrible relationship and that’s why I was learning how to tape injuries. I couldn’t even tell him that it was the exact opposite because I couldn’t tell him about you.”

Harry was silent, watching the explosion of color against the dark sky.

“I thought you would have moved on,” she whispered.

“Y’got your mom t’leave. I couldn’t even ask ‘bout you. You stopped talking to all of us.”

“If it helps at all, it was really lonely. Even with Addie and Carter...” she shrugged.

It didn’t. The thought of her being sad and lonely felt about as painful as her leaving. He was so grateful she had a friend to look after her. Someone to confide in. Because she left a lot of people behind who loved her, but at least Harry had them to comfort him as best they could.

“I thought about you every day,” she whispered. “I’ve been thinking about writing our story. I’ve been outlining it... reliving every memory through it. Every painful thing. I think it’ll be a series and honestly, I think it will be really good because the ending will be sad, and no one will see it coming because we didn’t see it coming and—”

“Our book?”

She paused. “You were my favorite thing to write about.”

He shook his head. He knew that. It wasn’t a conceited kind of thing. She said it all the time and he knew it. “What do you mean a sad ending?”

Another pause. She closed her eyes and sighed. “You can’t possibly want me back.”

Another long pause. Harry mulled it over and he realized just how angry he was. What had he done wrong that she didn’t feel adored by him? Where had he messed up and not made her feel safe? Did he let go of her hand like when they were on the balcony the other day? It was too much for him. His grip tightened on the steering wheel again. “What is the matter with you?” He put his head on the steering wheel against his hands as he spit the words out. He hated arguing with her. He felt pulled in two directions to have this conversation and comfort her. It seemed impossible to do them both at the same time.

“Harry,” she frowned. “I’m—”

He shook his head and smacked his hands against the wheel as he sat back. “I am never going t’stop wanting you. Don’t you get that? There is no ending with us. There can’t be. I have been waiting for three years for you t’come back t’me. You’re here and y’think I’m jus’ supposed t’have move—”

She was kissing him.

Her lips covered his in a hungry kind of way. Raw, achy, and hot. She pulled away briefly, her breath short pants. Her hand at the back of his head, her fingers pulled and tightened snuggly against locks of his hair. Poor Harry was so surprised he didn’t fully grasp what was happening and forgot to kiss her back.

He hoped she didn’t think it was too late. Or too soon, maybe, for him to agree to this kind of thing. But he only let one additional second pass before his lips were back on hers. His hands held each side of her face pulling her close to him, awkwardly around the console.

She seemed to melt into the kiss, her whole body releasing a long breath that made her shoulders fall, her body sinking forward. Harry moaned quietly into her mouth. One hand slid from her face into the back of her perfectly styled hair. Within five more seconds he started to pull her over the console separating them. He heard the clunk of one of her shoes falling onto the floor. With one hand on the small of her back, he used his free hand to push the seat back to give her more room between his body and the steering wheel.

Harry wasn’t her first kiss. But the way it felt, he may as well have been. She wished he was. There was nothing better than kissing him. There was a familiar possessiveness in the mix of their lips and breath. It was like he was saying no one else was ever going to kiss her as well as he did. Softly, his tongue slid across the seam of her lips to get her to open further.

Harry knew she didn’t like lots of tongue in her kisses. Which was fine with Harry, a quick brush of her tongue against his was plenty and not the part he cared about much anyway. The way she sucked his lower lip into her mouth and traced it with her tongue nearly made him finish in his pants. Her lips were so sweet. Just like her. It was the most natural feeling in the world to kiss her. Like he kissed her yesterday, the day before, all last year, and every other day succeeding her departure. “God,” she whispered against his mouth.

“Hmm,” he hummed. His hands touched everywhere. Roamed along her sides and around her back, up her arms and cupped the sides of her neck. He wanted to touch her everywhere. It felt so good to hold her and the way she moaned made him assume she was enjoying it just as much. It had been ages since she had been touched and that was fine because she didn’t want anyone to touch her but Harry. His hands were warm and felt so good on her back. Even through her dress. Even though it was summer and very warm, she shivered and nuzzled closer. The car was too small and the space between them was too big. “Baby, can we—”

“Yes,” she whispered. It didn’t matter what he asked. She was a yes to anything he said. He groaned into her mouth and slid his hands between them, lifting the skirt of her dress just above her hips so everything was covered but easier to access.

“Kitten,” he moaned when she reached between them as well and fiddled with the button of his jeans. Why on earth would he have a condom? The thought of being with anyone else so intimately was laughable. “I don’t have—”

“I don’t care.”

He groaned again and kissed down the length of her neck, his tongue poking out to lick at the spots he kissed. She thought she was going to pass out, but she didn’t want to miss a second of this feeling. So, she refused to pass out. “I forgot,” he was breathless as he shifted trying to make space between them so he could pull his pants down just a little more, just enough. “Forgot how much I missed this.”

“What did you miss?” She whispered just as breathlessly, her lips against his neck as he reached between the two of them, slid his fingers against her underwear and pushed it to the side. She whimpered at the light friction of his knuckle barely grazing her clit even though it wasn’t his intention.

Harry’s moans were nearly obscene. They turned her to jelly. “I missed everything, kitten. Everything.”

She shivered again at his response. When she felt him lining himself up, pressing through her folds so easily because she was already an aching wet mess for him, she cried out again. The electric feeling coursed through her and it wasn’t fair that she made him lose this feeling for three years. “Oh,” she tucked her face into his neck.

“I’m... fuck, baby,” he whispered as the head of his cock slipped deeper inside her. He didn’t want to know if she had sex while he was gone. In his mind he was the only person that got to be inside her like this—to feel her like this. His voice was raspy. Not even a whisper really. “I’m not...” his other hand that wasn’t helping her slip further down on him cupped the back of her neck. “S’not going t’last...” He couldn’t even give a time frame because he was so far gone. “S’been...”

She didn’t want to know how long it had been for him. The idea he had sex with someone else would probably make her inconsolable while he was inside her and it wasn’t anyone’s fault but her own. She shook her head and kissed the space just below his ear that used to drive him crazy. “I don’t mind,” she promised.

“God,” he closed his eyes and pressed his face to the front of her chest. Her dress was still in the way, but he wanted to rip it off her. He couldn’t because as much as he was enjoying this—and yes, he would have loved to feel her nipples in his mouth—he refused the risk of anyone seeing her naked like that. This was already bolder than anything they had ever done before—and the intimacy of seeing her fall apart was for him only. A possessive stance he would never let go of.

“Oh my God,” she whispered. It was too hot in the car; her skin was damp with sweat from pressing so close to Harry and the exertion of fitting in the small space between him and the steering wheel. She wanted nothing more than to stay glued to Harry like that, his dick deep inside her for as long as she lived. They really were two puzzle pieces just meant to fit together. For a brief moment she paused the way she was moving slowly up and down his cock; hoping that maybe she would just die in that car because at least this would be the last thing she ever did. Their breathing stilled, quieted. He tilted his neck back, smiled as he gazed up at her.

“You’re so beautiful, kitten,” he whispered.

It was embarrassing that she could come that quickly and that hard from just his compliment and he wasn’t even moving inside her.

She gasped so loudly. Her whines and moans releasing from her without warning. She felt distraught and whole. It was practically primal the way she started to bounce up and down again, only ever so slightly, her legs shaking to find purchase on the side of his seat near the door and dodging the seatbelt holder with her knee. It wasn’t conducive to do this here but what choice did they have when they couldn’t wait a second longer?

“Oh my God, fuck, kitten,” he groaned, wrapping his arms tight around her waist, kissing at her throat and the exposed cleavage he did have access too. He met her greedy little bounces to prolong the euphoria that was coursing through her, making her clench around his cock so hard he thought he was going to exist outside of his body. “Baby, I can’t pull out,” he warned her.

They were young, but not in high school young anymore. Getting pregnant wasn’t their worst fear anymore as it was their first go around leading to her going to the doctor and asking for birth control. In fact, getting pregnant probably didn’t even crack the top ten. But even still... “Pill,” she rasped. “Please,” she begged.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned. His hand slid beneath her dress. He pressed the tip of his finger directly on her clit and rubbed perfect little circles on it.

So perfectly, she was going to explode again. The fireworks had nothing on her. “Oh my God, please,” she cried. The plead, the feel of her squeezing around him again, the heat of her and the car... all of it was a heady combination that left Harry completely useless as he finished inside her at the exact moment that she dropped her face to his shoulder again and fluttered around him. As Harry finally released a breath, he had been holding for three years it seemed, he found she was still trying to squeeze her thighs around him to savor the pleasure. He couldn’t blame her. All he wanted to do was make her come over and over.

There were a lot of firsts they shared over their relationship, and Harry was so grateful to have another even after all the time between them. His body twitched as she stayed in place, her breathing finally slowing. Harry felt hot, too hot but didn’t dare remove her from his body. He held her to him as he shifted more, her bum bumped into the car horn. She giggled once and Harry smiled. His breathing slowed, following hers.

The car was silent except for their labored breathing. They were young when they had sex back then. They thought it was good back then. But it didn’t compare to that. She felt a wave of worry that he had practiced all while she was gone. The same worry went right through him nearly at the same time. Maybe she sensed it because he relieved her with one sentence. “I read an embarrassing number of books with scenes like the one we just reenacted.”

Harry sighed with relief; his nose pressed to her ear. His lips brushed her temple and he spoke quietly. “Send me every single page y’read, kitten.”

She giggled making her clench around him as he softened. He groaned involuntarily. He didn’t want to leave her body. Terrified it would never be like this again. As he started to move, she stopped him. “Um... Do you have a towel?” She whispered; her cheeks probably would have flushed asking the question, but it was impossible to tell with the endorphins that flooded her blood doing most of the work now.

Harry felt a little stupid at the moment, so he nodded, then shook his head. He didn’t fully understand her question but wanted to try for her.

“Uhh... here,” he reached in the backseat for a T-shirt with the station’s logo on it. As he shifted, she whimpered at the feeling of him moving inside her again. He kept a hand on her dress, right at her hip and rubbed his thumb soothingly against her.

“I can’t use this and then have you wear it around town,” she frowned.

“Baby,” he snickered. “I wouldn’t wear it... in public," he teased. She lightly hit his chest with the back of her hand.

She slowly pulled off him, falling back into the passenger seat, the T-shirt between her legs. She finger-combed her hair as best she could and checked her makeup for obvious smudges. Harry mussed with his hair quickly and then placed his hand on her knee. She held it with both hands, brought his fingers to her lips and kissed his knuckles no less than ten times.

“That was perfect,” she whispered.

Forget her writing, she was her very own poem. He smiled. “Always, kitten.”

*

Harry took the long way back to her apartment. Her grip didn’t loosen around his hand. Not even when he needed to take a turn. When he finally parked, she looked at him expectantly. “I don’t want t’go,” he whispered. “I would quit right now, if I could. I want t’talk all night and tell y’everything and know everything, kitten. M’so...” he shook his head terrified that if he left right now all the progress, everything would be gone. “I missed you so completely baby. I need t’know everything there is t’know ‘bout you and the last three years and all the thoughts y’had. S’not fair and m’so—”

“Harry,” she smiled, squeezed his hand encouragingly. She brought a hand to his chin and rested her forehead against his. “I’ll see you tomorrow; right after your shift, okay?” she kissed him gently on the lips. A soft brush of promising more.

Relief flooded him. “Yeah?” Their mouths were so close as he spoke, his lips touched hers the entire time.

“I’ll be here,” she promised. That little saying, “it was music to his ears,” never really made much sense to him. But right then it did. It made so much sense. She was music. She was the sun. She was fireworks. “Good night, Harry. Have a good shift,” she whispered and pressed her lips solidly against his once more making him feel like he could do anything.

--

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach

@straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals

@angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams

@summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @perfectywrong @foreverxholland

@lovrave @st-ev-ie @pandeebearstyles @toosarcastic03 @luvonstyles

@tenaciousperfectionunknown @classychalamet @love-letters-to-uranus @emmaawbr @crossyourpeter

@kissitnhekitchen @kittenhere @stylesfever @indierockgirrl @michellekstyles

@just-another-reader1098 @hermionelove @tiredinwinter @whimsy-willows @hannah9921

@fangirl7060 @triski73 @vikiii07 @prettygurl-2009 @madstyles3204

@angeldavis777

most: @harryspirate

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist here

[strawberries-and-summer-days]

READY FOR LAUNCH? ‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅

| percy jackson x popstar au

| au masterlist ☽

warnings: swearing and one mention of drinking wine

a/n: the dead returns 😌 WE WILL NOT TALK ABOUT HOW LONG THIS TOOK ME TO GET AROUND TO OKAY? LETS ALL COLLECTIVELY IGNORE IT. KAY GREAT WONDERFUL anyways enjoy! also gasp too parts in one night? woah

you were bribed.

lia and riley had to beg, stacey was pestering you for days. you were firm on no until you were bribed with lia's mom's famous cookies. and anyone who's ever had one would know that her cookies are to die for.

so now you're sitting next to the asshole in question, both staring at your managers. "another good reason to go along with this is, a publicity boost-" stacey says continuing on with the list she had prepared to convince you both.

"i don't need publicity," you and percy say at the same time. lauren and stacey both hide smiles and continue on.

you're about too seconds away from leaving but stacey's warning look has you sighing and staying in the seat. percy groans as the two managers start to ramble on about a soft or hard launch. neither sound appealing.

"why did i agree to this shit again?"

☾. ⋅

"you post the launch this afternoon okay?" stacey says looking up from her paperwork to you.

you sigh, "fine whatever." a cough erupts from the the other side of the room and you look up to percy curled up on the furtherest chair from you as if your being physically repulses him.

after the photos you took this morning and yesterday it seems warranted. i mean you had to hold hands. gross.

"you know you too will have to be more friendly with each other in public right?" lauren asks from her spot next to percy.

"i can be friendly."

"ok let me re-phrase that," lauren pauses. "you're going to have to act... couple-y."

"... i can still do that."

you scoff at percy's words. "yeah right, you looked like you were about to throw up when we were taking photos earlier."

percy glares. his eyes scanning your face while he clenches his jaw in thought. "fine," he huffs standing up and walking towards you.

you panic slightly. whats he doing? whats going on? you look to stacey for an answer but her eyes are trained firmly on percy seemingly asking the same question.

he stops when he reaches your chair and drops down to a crouch so you're at eye level. "um.. what are you doing?" you ask.

he leans forward slightly so you're only inches apart. his eyes travel across your face as if memorising every feature, they stray to your lips - and falter there - before they return to your eyes. trying to diffuse some of the tension you tilt your head down avoiding eye contact. but a finger on your chin guiding your eyes back to his, has your head tilting back up. "eyes on me sunshine."

you're pretty sure you just gasped. maybe. a little bit.

"what are you doing?" you ask again, your voice barely a whisper.

a smirk overtakes he face and he speak loud enough for stacey and lauren to hear. "proving i can act like your boyfriend in public." he drops your chin as if it burnt him to touch you and walks away to his chair.

your face is on fire. "yeah, uh." you clear your throat. "that'll do i guess."

☾. ⋅

percyjackson

liked by underovergrover, clarisse.la.rue, the.annabethchase, lia.mandel, rileywest, yn's.team, and 1, 849,426 others

percyjackson so.....

view all comments

user1 Y/N'S TEAM LIKED THIS!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!

user2 percy/n confirmed??

user6 PLS PLS PLS PLS

user3 i think i died a little omg

user4 omg a soft launch???

underovergrover congrats man

percyjackson thanks 😉

user5 someone become an fbi agent and tell me if thats y/n rn.

user6 PLEASE

user7 who is sheeeee???

☾. ⋅

yn.official

liked by underovergrover, lia.mandel, rileywest, pjackson.team, maisiehpeters, gracieabrams, the.annabethchase and 2, 748, 925 others

yn.official surprise!

view all comments

user1 HOLY SHIT!!!! THIS BASICALLY CONFIRMS IT

user2 SOFTLAUNCH SOFTLAUNCH SOFTLAUNCH!!!

user3 you cannot tell me that them posting a soft the same day one after each other means they're not together. i wont believe it.

lia.mandel ahhh congrats babes <333

yn.official 😘

user4 the teams like their posts??? percy/n is real!!!!

user5 IKK they couldn't have made it more obvious.

user6 ...i mean they could've hard launched?

user7 anyone else notice how their captions kinda line up? "so....." and "surprise!"

user8 delusion is strong with us today

rileywest happy for you !! 🤍

liked by yn.official

☾. ⋅

you look up from the thousands of comments on the post and over to the sleeping lumps on your couch. lia and riley decided to stay the night for moral support. we'll their idea of moral support is breaking out a bottle of wine and watching movies. they didn't even make it through the first one before they zoned out and fell asleep.

you sigh and glance down at the countless comments and likes on your post. the idea was to soft launch to get more suspense or 'attention' as lauren and stacey like to say.

it seemed simple enough except for actually getting the photos taken. that was a nightmare.

the next step is another post or two and then an outing. together. and then from there who knows.

let the games begin...

TAGLIST‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ [if you're name is white it means i couldn't tag you]

@lauptimist, @itzmeme, @mariaaaaaahhhh, @paankhaleyaar, @maybxlle,

@lara20aral, @cxp1d, @user-3113s-blog, @pleasingregulus,

@avihashearts4lix, @inlovewithmorales, @brokecollegebitch, @user-3113s-blog, @officiallyalbino

@gloryhaddock, @kozumesphone, @moonlightwonderlan, @starxshining, @taintedrosee

@lovelyygirl8, @cleothefrogo, @sungjinwoomybeloved, @hearts4li,

[sugarjar]

On purpose -2

Roman reigns x oc

Lauren is handling her ex-boyfriend from colleges divorce, he and Lori embark on a journey that proves how things happen for reasons. Either hers or his will it work out this time.

Her thoughts are slanted and this is somewhat proofread.

Previous part

This was my last case as a divorce settlement lawyer before I returned to being a prosecuting attorney. When I first went to law school it was to be a criminal attorney but when I graduated I was desperate to get out of debt and get a job so I settled into a smaller firm that paid well and was able to pay off my debt a few years ago but over time every last case became my last until the next one came along. I meant it this time Joe Is my last case and hopefully it's open and shut.

Making my way into the next conference and meeting I had with Joe walking down the long white minimalist halfway, with bright white lighting and pieces of furniture here and there and a mixture between abstract and a kind of Picasso. Opening the big gray painted white oak door laying eyes on the tall, brown eyes that I hadn’t seen in damn near twenty years, his hair was wrapped in a military style bun with his salt and pepper beard and he smelt more than heavenly when he reached in for a hug before we broke apart. I watched him drink in my grown woman's body. I hadn’t always had the curvy of curves but after college my grown woman body really settled in and I was more than in love with myself.

“Hello Joe, can you give me a bit of background or insight into your marriage over the last few years?” I said sitting down getting right into it sitting himself across from me and the polished oak table that matched the door. Looking back and forth between Joe and my pen and notepad as I waited for him to answer the question.

“Hi Lori, I'm doing great thank you for asking, haven't seen you in a while but that's okay.” he said sarcastically, having a conversation with himself using a bland tone before seeing my face and sitting up clearing his throat. “It was amazing the last few years but i've been working a lot between the traveling and long distance she couldn’t handle it and wanted to divorce about three years ago but I wanted to save us and suggested counseling and that i'd cut back on working and for about seven or so months it worked and everything was blissful but then I got an amazing storyline and it projected my career up and i started making more money but then i was way for way longer and we barely got to see each other and a few months ago she served me and said it was over and she didn’t want to try again.” he listed I wouldn’t dare and say I knew him because he’d changed so much since since id last seen him but i could see sadness in his eyes when he listed off the last few years with his wife Juile.

“Okay so what do you do for work?” I asked, jotting everything he’d just told me.

“I'm a wrestler, including endorsements of at least five million more if I book a lot.” he told me

“Okay and your wife wasn’t able to travel with you?” I asked him looking up.

“No, she gets sick in a car long distance and she works as a trauma surgeon so it’s hard for her to take time.” he explained watching me write it down, before asking my next question i made sure to make direct eye contact with him. “Did you at one point or another cheat on your wife with anyone whether that be emotionally or physically? I need you to be very honest with me.” I asked, waiting for something to change to tell if he was lying. At this point Joe had spoken with firmness in his tone and kept his answers short but detailed.

“No, because i was working so much i was too tired for sex at the end of most days.” he said staying firm with his tone and maintaining eye contact not seeming nervous at all.

“Okay and I don’t expect you to know this but did she at some point cheat on you in any way?” I asked keeping the same vibe, not one of tension but honest and open.

“No, she didn’t” continuing to answer firmly.

“Okay, and during the counsouling what was the conversation like?” i said counting to ask my normal oeping questions.

“Same things i just said working long and late and she felt like we weren’t married anymore and she felt neglected.” he reiterated

“And finally do you have any children?” I asked him

“Five, two set of twins four and six and a older daughter who just made fifteen.” he said making my eyes slightly bulge out of their sockets.

Damn

Hearing his deep chest laugh

“Sorry its just damn anyhow is there anything else i should know?” I asked him.

“No” he quickly gave

“Okay we’ll be intouch and figure out numbers and settlement later it seems like you both are ready to move on, this should be finialized by nexty month.” I said walking him out the door wanting to get the day over with.

Finally getting home just after ten o’clock I was beyond worn out and itching for a bubble bath, unlocking my front door hearing the automated voice announcing my arrival, my mother was standing in my kitchen over the stove.

“Momma, whatcha doing here?” I asked her sitting my briefcase down and stepping out of my heels my height dropping as I took them off one by one. Standing over with her hands in her hips looking at me some kind of way.

“Is that how you speak to someone let alone your momma?” She said with her ‘fix yourself tone’.

“Where Joe?” She asked looking behind where I was sitting and into the walk way.

“At home probably” I said standing and looking through the pot seeing chicken that hasn’t been fried yet as well as red beans with sausage and rice on the stove.

“I told you mama we’re not just going to fall out of the sky into a relationship, I’m just his divorce attorney.” I told her leaving the kitchen to go into my room and take my bath for bed.

Turning the faucet on and filling the tub floor with bubble solution slipping out of my clothes and into the water feeling the water warm and the bubble form on and around my wet body. Taking in a deep breath peacefully before my momma busted into the bathroom.

“Momma!” I said frantically gathering the bubbles to cover me before she smacked her teeth at me and with a wave of her hand said.

“Girl I’ve seen every crevice of your body you ain’t special.” She said sending a small ping to my heart but nonetheless shaking it off.

“That doesn’t matter, momma I’m grown you can’t do that.” I pouted at her. “God why does she always make me feel like a child”

“You worried about the wrong things you need to worry about how you gonna get Joe back, he’s doing more than well for himself with his play fighting.” She pointed

“What happened to this all being immature and besides that was a long time ago.” I said sinking I to the bath wanting her and this conversation to stop.

“Girl money is forever don’t be dumb now I’m going to finish the food and be on my way since you wanna act like you don’t care about nobody.” She said with an attitude walking off. Which made me sigh and just lay there and enjoy the warmth.

Getting out of the tub sometime later I dried my body off and did my nightly routine, slipping into a big tee-shirt before dipping into the kitchen for some food seeing a plate made and everything else cleaned up. Eating my food I thought about yet another guilting conversation with my momma.

I didn’t understand why she flipped from mommy dearest to getting like that. Finishing up and putting away my fish I slipped into bed and allowed sleep to take me.

-

[beyondthesefourwalls]

This Love Came Back to Me (4)

Summary: You and Bradley hadn’t ended on bad terms; really, you stopped before the two of you could even truly begin. Still, in the last seven months, you had never completely left his mind. So when you suddenly appeared in front of him at the bar, asking for a favor and pulling him into a kiss, he thought maybe it was the perfect opportunity to see if this time, things could be different. But what neither of you realized was that there’s more going on than just rekindling a lost romance, and it might not be as easy as simply just wanting it. 

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x Reader (no use of y/n)

Warnings: second chance romance, language, allusions of smut and potential full smut, stalking, unhealthy obsessions, delusions of feelings, unwanted attention.

Part Four Word Count: 4.7K

Part Three :: Series Masterlist

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The weekend you spent with Bradley was the happiest you could remember being in a long time. 

Even when you were together before, you lacked this air of understanding and dedication that came from the conversation you had early Saturday afternoon, and it made all the difference. You were able to just be, enjoying every moment, with no worry about what would happen next with him, because you knew he felt the same and you would figure it out together. 

You spent the rest of the day and all of Sunday holed up in your house. You cooked together and watched movies and napped and reconnected physically as well as emotionally, and it made saying goodbye late on Sunday night that much harder. You kissed at your front door for a long time before he finally left to return to his own place. He had contemplated staying the night again, but you both had early mornings to start the week, and you knew it would make leaving for work almost impossible if Bradley was laying beside you when you woke up. 

Walking into your office on Monday morning, you still felt like you were floating on cloud 9. When you got to your desk and saw an arrangement of carnations and daisies, you gasped in delight. You drew your bottom lip between your teeth, though it did little to contain your grin as you opened the card stuck between the flowers. 

I had an amazing weekend with you, Bug. Can’t wait to do it again xx

It took everything in you not to squeal out loud, but inside, you’re screaming. 

“Nice flowers,” your coworker Lauren commented as she walked by your desk on her way to get to hers. She wiggled her eyebrows at you playfully, like she was looking for gossip. “Hot date this weekend?” 

You laughed lightly, thinking how that didn’t even begin to describe it. 

“Something like that,” you answered instead. You rubbed one of the flower petals between your fingers as you thought about how Bradley had woken you up on Sunday morning with kisses to your bare stomach and how you had lounged around in your bed naked until early afternoon. 

Your emotions must have been playing across your face because you were brought out of your musings by Lauren’s laugh. Your eyes snapped up to hers and you felt the heat rush to your cheeks at the knowing look she was giving you. 

“Oh girl. Whoever he is, you have it bad.” 

She didn’t wait for a response before she flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder as she continued her way to her desk. You smiled down at the flowers again, the card with his note held tightly in your head. 

“Yeah,” you whispered, “I really do.” 

Your heart was so full as you sat down in your chair and dug your phone out of your purse. You opened your message thread with Bradley and then, pulling the flowers close to you so they would be in the camera frame, you snapped a selfie. 

Someone sent me flowers. I think he might like me. 

Once the picture was sent, you moved the vase to the corner of your desk where you’d be able to see it all day without it blocking your computer monitor. With one more wistful sigh, you started going through the motions of logging on and clicking through any emails you may have gotten over the weekend. Soon enough, you were caught up in your work, scrolling through documents that had been sent to you for review. You had slipped your headphones in as you normally did, so when you caught sight of someone hovering over your desk out of the corner of your eye, you nearly jumped out of your skin. 

“Jesus, Paul!” 

“Good morning,” he said brightly. He set a cup of coffee directly in front of you and you leaned to the side to avoid the brush of his arm from being so close. Your skin was starting to prickle for all the wrong reasons, as it always did in his presence. The smell of whatever cheap cologne he had on made your nose scrunch. “I brought you coffee.” 

“I've told you that you don’t need to do that. I make my own coffee.” 

“It’s no problem,” he chirped, pushing his glasses up his face. You did your best to offer him a polite smile, but you’re sure it appeared as more of a grimace. You pushed the coffee to the side, pulling the travel mug you brought yourself closer in return. 

“Oh. Someone got you flowers.” 

You took a deep breath, releasing it slowly as you nodded. “Yup.” 

“Who sent them?”

He was looking at you expectantly. You narrowed your eyes as your annoyance started to turn to anger. You didn’t owe him anything, and despite Bradley not even being here, you felt a flash of protectiveness go through you. These flowers were from him. They were special to you, and Paul didn’t need to know that. 

When you didn’t respond, he wasn’t deterred. 

“Was it that guy from the bar? He didn’t seem very nice.” 

“Paul, it’s really not your - hey!” 

You tried to grab it before he could, but he had picked the note that accompanied your bouquet up off of your desk and was reading it with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Bug? That’s stupid. You aren’t a bug.”

You snatched the card out of his hands with a scowl. By the way his eyes widened and snapped to you, he seemed shocked at the action. You suppose you couldn’t really blame him for that; despite how much he bothered you and, frankly, creeped you out, you had to work with him, and so you always tried to maintain a level of civility. But after Friday night, you were approaching your whits end. 

“It’s not your business.” 

“I’m sorry. But you deser-”

“I have work to do,” you snapped, unwilling to listen to anyone tell you what you deserved, especially when it came to this, to Bradley, when he was everything you wanted. 

Paul gave you a pleading look but before he could say anything else, you put your headphones back in and turned back to your computer. You started aggressively typing notes, mostly nonsensical, to the document you had been working on before you were interrupted. You stared straight ahead, refusing to look at him. It took a minute, but he eventually took the hint. It was only once you knew he was gone that you stopped typing. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath and tried to push away the discomfort that had settled over you. You were starting to wonder if it was time for another email to HR. 

You jumped when your phone buzzed. Picking it up with a sigh, some of the tension left you when you saw Bradley had responded to your earlier message. 

Bradley🐓✈️❤️: I have it on good authority that you’re correct with that thought. 

Your lips quirked. Despite the interaction you just had, your heart skipped a beat reading his words. You chewed the skin at your thumbnail for a moment as you contemplated what to say in return. Another text from him came through. 

Bradley🐓✈️❤️: Happy to spend more time convincing you though

A full grin stretched across your face now. Truly, you didn’t need to be convinced of anything, and you knew Bradley knew that, but you were happy to play along. Especially when it made you smile and your heart fluttered like this. 

And just how would you do that? 

Bradley🐓✈️❤️: I have my ways. Wanna find out?

Consider me curious. Yes. 

Bradley🐓✈️❤️: I’ll see you tonight then. 

Bradley🐓✈️❤️: By the way - thanks for the picture. You look beautiful, Bug. 

And the flowers I’m sure you paid good money for? 

Bradley🐓✈️❤️: Barely noticed them. Too busy looking at you 😉

You sat your phone down once you sent back a few heart emojis along with a promise to see him later. You glanced at the flower arrangement before you got back to work, a pleasant warmth filling your body. 

You were in and out of meetings the rest of the day, and when you were at your desk, you kept your headphones in and your head down, trying to stay zoned in and avoiding interaction when at all possible. You almost thought you were lucky that your boss had a tendency to throw too much work at you, because being as busy as you were meant that you didn’t have much time to watch the clock and wait for the hours to tick by. Still, you breathed a sigh of relief when 5:00 rolled around. You weren’t usually one of the first to leave, but you were eager to get home. 

You packed your things quickly as you said goodbye to a few of your coworkers who were still finishing up. The last thing you grabbed was the vase of flowers. You brought them to your nose as you walked to the elevator. They really were so pretty, and smelled so nice. You were going to have to ask Bradley where he had gotten them. 

You felt your phone buzz in your bag and shifted the flowers into the crook of your arm as you dug with your opposite hand to retrieve the device. Bradley was leaving work now and would be on his way to your house after a quick stop to shower and change. And, in a follow up message, he couldn’t wait to see you. 

You were texting back one handed when a weight knocked hard into your right side. 

With a startled gasp, you stumbled. The sudden contact caused your phone to fly out of your hand, and as your bag fell down your arm the hold you had around the flowers loosened. You scrambled to get a better grip on the vase, but then hands grabbed your arms to steady you, only jarring you further, and you watched in what felt like horrified slow motion as it fell to the ground. The sound of breaking glass rang in your ears, the water keeping the flowers alive spreading quickly on the floor, soaking the carnations and daisies that laid in a heap amongst the tile. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there.” 

Your eyes snapped up from the catastrophe at the familiar, nasally, grating voice. They narrowed quickly and you took a step back, jerking your arms out of his grasp when Paul didn’t immediately let go. His face was the picture of innocence, but there was a glint in his eyes that had you unnerved. You couldn’t help but scoff. WIthout saying a word, you dropped down to scoop up your phone and Bradley’s gift to you while they were still salvageable. The thick vase was beyond saving and you were careful to avoid touching any of the shards of glass.

“I can throw those away for you, if you’d like.” 

Your nostrils flared at his words and you glared up at him. With a huff, you finished grabbing what you could and stood back up. “That won’t be necessary.” 

“I don’t mi-” 

“I do,” you snapped. You took a deep breath, doing your best to center yourself before you got too worked up. You could feel tears prickling behind your eyes because of how angry you were and you refused to cry right now. “I won’t be throwing them away.” 

He started to say your name again when your manager Gretchen rounded the corner to the elevator bay. Her eyes widened at the scene in front of her. “Oh no! What happened?” 

You gritted your teeth before forcing on a professional smile. “Just clumsy,” you excused. 

You could practically feel the judgment rolling off of her in waves as she eyed you up and down, glancing again at the mess you hadn’t even caused again. “Well, let’s make sure this gets cleaned up before you leave, okay?” 

You felt scolded and shamed, your eyes hot, but you were thankful for her when she set her gaze on the red headed man hovering beside you and told him she had been looking for him. “I want to go over a few things for your next project. Let’s chat in the elevator.” 

Paul couldn’t do much more than agree with her, though his eyes lingered on you even as he did. You took the opportunity to pivot where you stood and dart across the hallway to the kitchen on this floor. By the time you returned with a thick roll of paper towels, they were gone and you could breathe out a sigh of relief. 

You tried to be quick with cleaning up the mess you had inadvertently created. A few of your other coworkers had walked by you, eyeing you in a way that didn’t just feel curious. Embarrassment settled deep in your chest, but even stronger than that was the overall exhaustion you felt. You hated it here. And you hated that you hated it here, because you genuinely liked what you did. But you didn’t know how much more of this you could take. You hadn’t spent the weekend applying for new jobs like you had planned, even if your distraction was for the best possible reason. You made a mental note to set aside some time and prioritize scouring LinkedIn and job boards this week. 

Once you’d thrown away the combination of wet napkins, broken glass and stray leaves and petals, you took off the hair tie you kept on your wrist. There was an indentation on your skin from where you’d snapped it throughout the day as your anxiety got the best of you. You wrapped it around the bundle of flowers to keep them contained and just stared at them for a moment. Your heart ached at how some were bent and ruffled from hitting the ground. You swallowed the feeling, telling yourself you could do your best to fix it when you got home.

The office was mostly empty by now so the elevator ride down to the first floor was mercifully quiet. There was a crack on your screen protector from when your phone hit the floor and you ran your finger over it with a sigh before letting your head fall back against the wall. 

It was only Monday, and you were already ready for the weekend.

To top it all off, you got stuck in a bit of traffic on your way home, because of course you did. When you pulled into your driveway, Bradley was already there, leaning against that familiar blue Bronco. You realized once you caught sight of his phone in his hand that you had never actually texted him back before. 

“Shit,” you cursed under your breath. By the time you put your car in park and took the keys out of the ignition, he was opening the driver’s side door. 

The wide smile on his face while he greeted you had some of the angst you had been feeling easing into something soft and warm; you couldn’t help but smile back at him. He grabbed your bag for you and slipped it over his own shoulder as he helped you out of the car. You held tight to your flowers with your other hand. Without skipping a beat, as soon as you were standing, you buried your face in the soft material of his Hawaiian shirt. A soft chuckle vibrated through his chest, but both of his arms locked around you and his lips pressed into the top of your head. 

“Hi, baby,” he murmured into your hair. You mumbled the word back to him, snuggling closer. “Long day?”

You inhaled deeply, letting his scent invade your senses, settling over you like a blanket. You finally lifted your head, smiling up at him. 

“Better now,” you promised. Bradley leant down to kiss you and you raised on your tiptoes to meet him halfway. You hummed in pleasure once you settled back down on the ground. “Mmm. Much better now.” 

He grinned, but then his eyes flickered down, and his eyebrows furrowed slightly. You followed his line of sight to the bundle grasped in your hand at your side. Your smile dropped just the slightest bit at the reminder of what had happened less than an hour ago, but you do your best to swallow it. Instead, you held the flowers up to your face, mimicking the photo you had sent him earlier. Bradley’s eyes sparkled in recognition and his smile grew. 

“Even better in person,” he quipped, and your heart fluttered, because even if his tone was joking, you knew he meant the words. 

Bradley’s hand settled on your back as you made your way to and through your front door. You groaned in relief when you kicked your shoes off. You went to take a step toward the kitchen, but a gasp escaped you when instead, your body was turned with a hand on your arm. Before you could ask what he was doing, Bradley’s lips were on yours again. You melted against him, moaning into his mouth. 

You lost yourself in the kiss and only pulled away once breathing became an issue. You knew your lips were swollen by the way they tingled, but you drew your bottom one between your teeth anyway. You peered up at him through your lashes. 

“Hi,” he said simply. You couldn’t help the shiver that went through you at the rasp in his voice. The sound went straight to your core. 

“Hi,” you breathed. “What was that for?” 

Bradley shrugged, giving you a small smirk and a wink. “Because I wanted to, mostly. But also as a way to convince you of your theory.” 

Your brain wasn’t quite back online yet so it took a moment for you to process what his words meant, but then your texts from earlier flashed in your head. You let out a breathless laugh which Bradley returned with one of his own.

He followed you when you walked further into the house this time. He leant against the counters next to you, watching as you grabbed the vase with the bouquet he had gotten you at the farmers market on Saturday. You took your hair tie off of the ones from today and started to combine the two arrangements into one. You only had one vase, and you weren’t ready to part with any of the flowers quite yet, so you had to make this work. 

“What happened to the vase that these came in?” he asked casually. He rubbed one of the carnation petals between two of his fingers. You froze for a brief moment, but he must have caught it in the corner of his eye, because he turned to face you more fully. “Bug?”

“I uh..I dropped it, on my way out of the office. It’s why you beat me here, I was cleaning it up.” 

You didn’t look at him, but you could feel him looking at you. You weren’t sure if you were just incredibly obvious, or if he just knew you that well, but he shifted closer to you and settled a hand on your arm again, his thumb running up and down on your exposed skin. 

“Are you alright? Didn’t get nicked by any glass or anything like that?” 

You bit the inside of your cheek and shook your head. You fluffed the newly added flowers, noting how nice they all looked together, and how the glass containing them was so full it was practically overflowing. 

Bradley said your name gently, and you couldn’t resist the pull to look at him this time. His face was open and curious, and you could see the hint of worry there too. “Hey. Talk to me.” 

You wanted to deflect and tell him that nothing was wrong, and that you were just having a clumsy episode, like you had said to your boss. You felt awful for ruining the lighthearted moment you had been having since coming into the house, and disrupting the overall peace you had felt since Friday night. But part of the reason you broke up the first time was because the two of you masked what you were feeling, and you were so determined to make it work this time. You had promised you would talk to each other. So you took a deep breath and let it out slowly. You convinced yourself it wasn’t that big of a deal, anyway. 

“Paul ran into me,” you told him, trying to come off as unbothered as possible. He pushed himself off the counter, standing at full height. You could see the concern written all over his expression, now, along with a touch of anger. 

“He ran into you?” 

“Mhm,” you nodded, before releasing a long sigh in defeat. You wanted to be completely honest with him, even if it made you feel some sort of misplaced guilt for causing him stress. “He made a snarky comment this morning when he stopped by my desk. Read the note and made fun of my nickname. Said you seemed rude. Tried to imply that I deserved better. I told him it was none of his business. Then when I was leaving, he just…came out of nowhere and knocked into me. He grabbed onto me before I could catch my phone and the vase.” 

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the end, thinking of how, on top of everything, you were going to need to replace your screen protector. You had forgotten about that. 

“He grabbed you?” 

“To keep me from falling, apparently. I guess. I don’t know. He said he didn’t see me.” 

“Bug…” Bradley’s eyes were wide, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Truthfully, you couldn’t either. 

“I know,” you said softly. You suddenly needed to touch him, so you closed the distance between you and wrapped your arms around his middle. You could tell he was trying to find the words to say; you could practically see the wheels in his head turning while he rubbed your back. You were patient as you looked up at him. 

“This isn’t okay,” he finally settled on. 

“I know.” 

“I’m trying really hard not to be overprotective or overbearing. But from what happened on Friday and then everything you’ve told me about him… I don’t want to tell you what to do. I know that you can take care of yourself. But something needs to be done here, baby.” 

You sighed again, agreeing with him. “I’m going to apply for new jobs this week. And maybe I’ll email HR again tomorrow.” 

“Can you talk to them in person?” he asked. You knew it was his version of a compromise, because what he really wanted was to talk to them, or him, himself. But you nodded, saying that you would go tomorrow. 

“First thing,” he requested, tacking on a quiet ‘please’. 

“First thing,” you promised. 

Bradley let out a long, loud breath, and you hated that he was feeling this way. You could sense the frustration he had and you had to remind yourself that it wasn’t directed toward you, but rather, for you. It made your stomach flutter that he was doing his best to respect the independence he knew you were so proud of, even if the thought of him being overprotective of you was one you surprisingly didn’t mind one bit. You hugged him a little bit tighter, burying your face in his chest. 

You stood there for a minute, arms wrapped tightly around the other. When Bradley finally pulled away, he tilted your head back up to look at him. The anger he had been feeling has faded from his face, replaced with the soft, open look he usually gave you. His smile was gentle and he tucked some of your hair behind your ear. 

“I have an idea,” he said. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“I need to finish convincing you that I like you. So go get changed. I want to take you somewhere.” 

After stopping at your favorite hibachi place for a pick up order, the somewhere he referenced ended up being the beach. Bradley grinned at the surprised look on your face when he pulled a blanket and a bottle of your favorite red wine from the backseat. 

“Did you plan this?” 

His only answer was the wink he sent you before he opened the door and jogged around the front of the Bronco to open yours. He didn’t let go of your hand once you got out, fingers laced together as he led you onto the sand. You didn’t walk too far before he found a spot to spread out the blanket. You kicked your shoes off before you sat down; the smile on your face never faltered. 

You ate your takeout and drank the wine straight from the bottle, passing it back and forth between bites as you talked and laughed about different things. This section of beach was nearly deserted, only the stray person occasionally walking or jogging by. You nearly jumped out of your skin when a dog barking broke through the air, prompting Bradley to burst into laughter. 

Once your food was gone and the drink recorked, you laid back on the blanket. You were meant to be watching the sunset, you knew. But the ocean breeze ruffled the curls on Bradley’s head and you couldn’t resist running your fingers through them, looking at him instead. He was on his side beside you, head propped up with one hand while the other played with the hem of your shirt.

“So, are you convinced yet?” 

You giggled at his question and the way he wiggled his eyebrows. You hummed loudly in playful consideration as you pretended to think about it. “I think I need one more thing,” you decided.

“Name it.” 

You ran your index finger over the scars on his cheek before doing the same over his lips with your thumb. His breathing hitched at the notion, eyes darkening in time with the sky.  He looked almost ethereal staring down at you with the orange and purple hues in the background.

“Kiss me.” 

___

You’re surprised when you walked into work on Tuesday to another bouquet on your desk. It’s identical to the one from the previous day and a smile tugged at your lips as you approached the work station. You were going to have to talk to Bradley about the flower budget he seemingly had set aside.

You set your stuff down and reached for the note, eager to see what sweet thing he had written this time. Your beach date last night had been nothing short of magical, and saying goodbye to him at your front door was even harder than it had been on Sunday. You were sure whatever he had to say would get your heart racing in anticipation of seeing him again, more than it already was. But your smile dropped and a sick feeling started growing in your stomach as you read the words and realized these weren’t from your boyfriend at all. 

You’re too pretty to ever be called a “bug”

You crumbled the note and snatched the vase up in your hands. You got more than a few curious looks as you made your way down the hall toward the kitchen. You froze for a second once you got there, seeing Paul at the coffee station with a mug in his hand. He spotted you instantly and you saw the way his gaze flickered down to the flowers you held. He stood up a little bit straighter and had the audacity to start smiling. 

Your nostrils flared and anger consumed your whole body, and you took the last few steps you needed. You made sure his eyes were locked back on yours, staring directly at you, when you dropped the arrangement into the trash can with enough force to shake the whole bin. You turned on your heel and fled the room without saying a word. 

It was only once you were back at your desk that you realized your hands were shaking and tears were stinging your eyes. 

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Part Five :: Series Masterlist :: Main Masterlist

Notes: I hate Paul. But I love my Bug and B. I hope you enjoyed this one! Likes/comments/reblogs are the best encouragement for posting more🖤

Thank you to Mak and Em for all of your help making this story come to life. And thanks to Mak for the AMAZING banner!

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[bcacstuff]

With him in SF in early September I wonder if they'll shoot S8 without any break. They are filming the 6th episode, with 4 weeks/block=2 eps. + 1 week for all table reads they should be done by end of August. The end is near & 12 years in the making by the time S8 airs.

I received a number of these similar asks in the last weeks already but didn't get to answer it in the way I wanted (sorry for the delay)

First of all to avoid some confusion, as far as I know he said he was gonna receive the SWF Award at Top Shelf event in October! I don't know why people keep saying September?

Caitriona's movie The Amateur was scheduled to be released on November 8, 2024, however the release is delayed and will now be on April 11, 2025

source

I do (of course) not have a filming schedule, so the short answer on will they have a summer break is; I don't know.

But we can speculate and think about a few things I considered. No facts of course, purely speculation.

Previous seasons we always could find some little clues and hints from time to time during filming, but this season it's extra hard. I shared what I could about location, but it's not always clear if it concerns OL S8 or BOB. That goes also for the clues we often would find on IG from the crew, which it seems are switching being busy on both series. The cast from BOB posts more little hints and clues than the cast from OL. Sometimes the supporting characters do, like today Kieran Bew

Kieran Bew IGS 21 June 2024

I also considered that S7 part 2 might have been altered a bit from how it was originally planned. As we were wondering during filming of S7 that there was no Fersali on set. Lauren and Cesar both were busy on other projects. But lately we've seen them again in Glasgow, and I really wonder if they filmed some extra scenes we will see in S7 part 2. It's hard to imagine how the storyline about Claire returning to the US, Philadelphia for Henri Christian's health problems (Fergus and Marsali's child) could omit Fersali. So perhaps they added scenes to S7 part 2, hence the long delay for it? (I could be completely wrong but we will know when it airs and if we'll see Fersali in S7 part 2 we know)

Anyway, we don't know where S7 part 2 ends, but if we are still in 3 different time periods (which does look that way given Diarmaid (Buck) seems to work on S8 as well, I figure not all cast is always needed on set. I do think, well actually am quite sure, some already had some time off in May. So perhaps, depending on the characters needed they scheduled it that way that people can have a wee break. I do wonder though about crew members, but perhaps BOB, which already started filming earlier this year will be done by July or so, and crew can take a wee break as well.

As for Sam, I do have an idea why his schedule didn't fit the Highlander con in July... but I keep that for my self for now. When time comes I'll see if I was right about it or not.

[fugmanssexystories]

When it Rains, I Get Wet

I was at a barbeque with some friends a couple of years ago. Lauren was a friend of a friend’s friend, but we were attracted to each other immediately. She had long brown hair and sparkling brown eyes, and this presence made me want to see more of her. We talked for hours at the barbeque, and it just wasn't enough.

I asked for her number and if she would like to go to dinner. Lauren smiled and asked for my phone. She gave me her number on that day, and I called a couple of days later. We talked on the phone for a while and made plans for dinner on Friday. We talked for a while that night, the next, and the next. We had amazing chemistry, and we could talk about anything. 

Lauren asked, "So, what's your favorite time of year?" 

I answered, "Summer because that is when all the good storms happen."

She seemed shocked but soon returned with, "I like summer too, and I love a good storm," she continued, “I have to go; I'll see you on Friday."

I thought I said something wrong; she ended the call quickly after I told her I loved a good storm, was that a bad answer? I would ask her on our date over dinner. 

When Friday came around, I was excited to pick her up for our first date. I was a little nervous when I got to her front door, but I was even more nervous when Lauren opened that door. She was dressed to kill, and I had to gulp before I said hello. I kissed her cheek softly and asked if she was ready to go. 

She smiled at me, "Yes, let's go!" She grabbed my hand and pulled the door shut behind her as we headed out to the car. 

The black skirt that she wore kept revealing her legs. They were shiny and tan, but I resisted the urge to touch them. I rationalized it in my head as too much, too soon. I didn't want to scare her off; I enjoyed talking to her, and I was curious as to where this would go. 

We talked briefly about our jobs, families, and dreams of the perfect life until we got to the restaurant. Once I parked, I went around and opened the door for her and reached out my hand. She placed hers in mine as she rose, and I closed her door. I put my hand on her back and felt the silk white shirt as we entered the establishment. The restaurant was a little bit of a hole-in-the-wall Italian place, but the food was amazing. 

I asked her why she ended our conversation quickly last night. She smiled and said, "I don't want to reveal too much too quickly; I think I really like you and I don't want to rush through this."

She could tell that I was more confused but changed the subject. I didn't push her any further about it. 

We had a great conversation, and the dinner was a hit; when we went back to drop her off at her place, she invited me in, and I happily accepted the invite, as I was engrossed in our conversation so far. 

We sat on the couch, and she handed me a glass of wine. We shared more stories about ourselves and enjoyed ourselves. She leaned over, and I kissed her softly, and she whispered to me, "Before our next date, I need you to do some homework."

I looked at her, puzzled and unsure of what she meant. 

"I want you to do a little research on what Astra philia is," as she kissed me again and said, "Call me tomorrow, and we'll talk more about it."

She walked me to the door and kissed me gently before opening the door for me to go. 

I had the dictionary open by the time I got to the car. 

"Astra philia: This behavior refers to the sexual attraction toward thunder and lightning. Storms heighten sexual urges and intensify the feelings of satisfaction."

I couldn't believe what I was reading—no wonder she didn't want to share that with me yet. I will tell you this: I resisted the urge to call her immediately. I rationalized that we'll talk about it as soon as she is ready to. However, she did tell me to do the research, so did she want me to know? 

When I called Lauren the next day, I had many questions for her, but I wanted to take my time with things, and she would bring them up when she was ready. It took a while before she asked if I had done my research.

I acknowledged that I had but asked what it all meant. She told me, "Basically when it rains, I get wet!" We giggled at how she worded it, but I knew what she meant. 

"I guess in the grand scheme of things, you could have a more significant issue, “I said, trying to be supportive.

Lauren told me, "Normally, it is not terrible; however, when the terrible storms hit, and I'm single, it makes life rough." "I'm telling you because the bad storms are only A few weeks away, so if you want to back out now...I understand."

I told her, "I have never met anyone like you, and I am a bit curious." 

"I'm just trying to let you know that the rougher the storm, the more intense it gets for me."

We continued talking about other things, and before we hung up, she told me, "Thank you. I will try to control things so as not to scare you off too soon."

I laughed it off; imagine someone being scared because their girlfriend gets crazy sexual! I'm sure I will be more aware of the upcoming weather forecast.

We got a little serious for a few weeks after that conversation. When I caught a weather update, they called about severe thunderstorms this weekend. 

Lauren was nervous as this would be the first time I would experience her in the middle of a storm. We have already had a healthy sex life, so this weekend should be enjoyable. We decided to spend it together at my place.

Saturday evening was forecast to be rough storms, with high winds and cloud-to-ground lightning, so that would be the most difficult for Lauren. 

The storm was supposed to hit a little after 8 pm, so I invited her over at 6:30 for dinner and a movie. We took our time eating the homemade chicken parmesan that I had prepared. After dinner, we loaded the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen. I switched the light off in the kitchen, and we headed towards the couch.

We sat down and cuddled together as I started the movie. We barely reached the opening credits when the wind whipped around outside. I put my arm around her, "you will be fine, I promise."

She looked at me, "It's not me I'm worried about."

I smiled at her, "I'll be fine too."

When the thunder was heard, I felt her hand grip my knee. She looked up at me, and again, I smiled, "Fine!"

More thunder came, and her hand traveled up my leg. When our dark room lit up from the lightning, her hand was moved up to the front of my pants. She stroked my growing tool from the outside of my pants. 

Between the thunder and lightning, she was already starting to lose control. Another lightning strike brought her hand inside my zipper. Her hand furiously tried to get inside to feel my hard skin on skin. It wasn't long before she told me to lose the pants. 

I lifted my hips, and she pushed my pants and underwear down my legs. By the next time the thunder rang out, she had my tool deep down in her throat. She was insatiable; she was thirsty for my body, and she wasn't going to stop until she got what she wanted.

Without removing my tool from her mouth, she got off the couch and knelt in front of me, her hands playing with my testicles as she continued to go up and down, fast, slow, deep. She stared at me, and I could tell the sheer joy in her eyes from servicing me. 

When the room was flooded by light by the next crack of lightning, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Thunder roared, and I felt her finger inching behind my sack, and I felt it traveling toward my hole. I held her hair as she worked me towards my impending climax. When her finger slid up my hole, and her tongue swirled around the hole on my pole, it was all I could take as I fired jet after jet of my seed inside of her mouth. She worked me through my entire climax and kept going. It wasn't long before he was standing at attention again. She wasn't done; she just took a second to relax. 

The storm started to pick up outside as her finger withdrew from my backside; she released my tool long enough to stand up in front of me. I peeled her clothes off and removed her shirt and her bra, taking a few moments to capture her nipples in my teeth. She moaned and held me by my hair tightly. I removed her pants and G-string and grabbed hold of her butt and pulled her closer.

I kissed my way down her stomach as her hands forced me down. She didn't stop there; she pulled me down and laid me down on the floor. I was looking straight up, and as I looked at her naked body shimmering already in every strike of lightning. I watched her eyes close during every crack of thunder, and you could tell she was in quite a state. She moved above me, put a leg on either side of my head, and sat down, right on my face, facing my ankles. While I went to town feasting on her already dripping sex juice lips, I felt her hand grip my pole tightly and start to massage it back to its former glory. I was treating her to every trick I knew, and she bent over and began to swallow me whole. She was loud and noisy and worked me into a frenzy again. I decided I wanted to finish her before she did for me a second time. So, I worked her lips and clit with my tongue and lips. She was panting between every downward stroke of my rod. I knew I was getting her close as she wasn't going as fast on my hardness. 

She stopped working on my tool altogether at one point. She was too busy enjoying the climb to the top, anxious to erupt. I took a page out of her book and slid a finger into her backside; she moaned loudly. I continued working with her, making sure that all the critical areas were well taken care of, then another finger joined the inside of her butt. Her body started to ride my tongue, moving back and forth, grinding her pubic bone against my nose and face. 

I worked my fingers in and out of her backside as my tongue ran circles around her clit, teeth nibbling gently on it. It didn't take long before she forgot about playing with me and just started to enjoy what I was doing. 

She planted herself down on my face, and she just stayed still as I felt the rush of her juices flood inside of my mouth. She moaned as each wave squirted out of her. Her legs tightly wrapped around my head as she rode my tongue for all it was worth. My face was drenched in her juices, but I wanted more; I licked her opening up and down to make sure I got every last drop. My lips surrounded her clit and milked it. My tongue is darting in and out and around. She was still dripping by the time she rolled off of my head. 

She collapsed on the rug next to me, "Holy shit, that was incredible."

I switched positions so that I could kiss her. She seemed hesitant initially, but I went in for a long, passionate kiss. She enjoyed the taste of her, and believe it or not, I didn't mind tasting myself off her tongue. It was a turn-on to see how she reacted.

The kiss started to become more heated as my hands began traveling down her naked body. She stopped me long enough to take my shirt off. "I want to feel your naked body all over me."

I think she forgot about the storm as her body felt other things. My hands explored her sweaty body as I looked down at her. She smiled and grabbed my hands, pushing them towards her nipples, then down further. When they tried to dip between her legs, she opened them and encouraged me to go for a dip between her lips. 

I slid my fingers deep inside of her hole a few times before she pulled them out and up to her mouth. She licked every bit of her juice off my fingers; it was a real turn-on to watch how much she enjoyed her taste. 

After she was done cleaning my fingers, she moved them back down. I stopped and was ready to slide them in again; she looked at me and then slid my fingers down deeper between her opened legs. "Back here!" She looked at me with such passion when my fingers slowly disappeared inside of her back hole. 

She held my hand tightly against her as she started to move her hips. My fingers moved in and out of her. I had two fingers buried inside of her deep as I got the idea to use my thumb to slide between her lips. Her eyes closed tightly as she held on. She was moaning softly as I had two fingers in her backside and my thumb probing in and out of her other hole. 

It wasn't too long before her body was trembling softly. Her moaning started to get louder and more intense as she was about to ride through her second orgasm of the night. Her juices provided enough lubrication for me to pick up the pace, and I was pounding as deep inside as they would go. I picked up the pace, and I was finger fucking her right up to the edge. I bent my head over and took her right nipple into my mouth. I bit down gently and swirled my tongue around it as I felt her hand grip my pole tightly. I knew she was standing on her tippy toes on the very edge as I bit down tightly on her nipple; she shrieked as her body was rocked, and she started shaking uncontrollably. Her holes held me tightly as she rode the sensation through. 

I'm not sure if it was the storm that was still happening outside, my fingers in new places, or something else, but her orgasm seemed to continue for a while as her body hadn't stopped trembling.

When I removed my fingers, she brought them up to her mouth and licked each one of them clean. This was incredibly sexy. I watched her eyes as the joy of each one clean was so satisfying to her. 

There was something so sexy about that. My erection was as stiff as it could get as she pushed me off her and stood up. "I want to see the storm; let's go on the balcony."

Usually, this would have caused me anxiety; I have neighbors who live close enough to see all of our parts. She opened the curtain and was greeted by a big flash of lightning.

I could see her skin glistening from the light reflecting off her sweat-soaked body. Her curves, sweet and sensual, had my erection coming back to life again. She came over and grabbed my bone and led me to the patio doors. She slid it open and walked outside into the rain. She opened her mouth and looked up at the sky. The rain splashed over her, and she reached back for me and brought me through the doors to the outside world, completely exposed to any one of my neighbors. 

Both of us, naked and still reeling from our already steamy encounters, she took me over to the patio furniture and pulled out one of the ottomans. She sat me down on it; I remember feeling the dampness of the rain on my backside. I stayed put, watching her worship the rain and the storm as I pulled at my tool. When she saw what I was doing, she approached me and just watched me as I played. Her hand wrapped around mine as it traveled up and down my rod. The rain still cascaded over our naked and excited bodies, the thunder contributing to the soundtrack of our night. 

The lightning enlightens the area and glistens off both of our skin. I catch a glimpse of Lauren; she is looking at me. "Take me...now...rough...hard...slam into me...I want to feel you, NOW!" 

I pushed her hand away and forced her to the table. I pushed her down until her face met the hardwood of the tabletop. She moaned as she gripped the top with both hands and braces for my forceful thrust deep inside of her. My hand came crashing down on her bare butt, stinging in the rain. She cried out as I continued to spank her; I could not tell if she was crying from the pain or the excitement of the moment. 

"Do it NOW; I can't wait any longer; slam it inside of me." She gripped the table tighter as I entered her with a firm thrust. She moaned, "YES, THAT IS WHAT I NEEDED!" 

I pounded deep inside of her over and over; the rain continued to wash over our bodies as I gripped her hips. I was on a mission; I needed to get her over the edge before I did. I grabbed them tightly and pulled her hips back as if my life depended on it. In and out, as hard as I could, she moaned and screamed her approval as the heights of her arousal skyrocketed around me. It was pure, animalistic, and raw; we were lost in the moment together.

I'm not sure if it was the storm or the motion of our bodies, but we were both climbing quickly toward another climax. She screamed out that she was about to come, and I pounded into her ever faster, harder, and as deep as I could push inside of her. A crack of thunder, a flash of lightning, and she was trembling beneath me. I felt her inner muscles clamp around me as I started to fill her full of my hot semen. She moaned out loud as we rode out our eruptions together. 

I stayed buried deep inside of her until the very last drop oozed out of the tip of my pole. When I started to move and slowly pulled out of her, she grabbed my hip, "Please don’t, stay inside of me!" 

I pushed back inside as I held her hips tightly to mine. The storm started to subside as I returned to my senses; I looked around and saw the Thompsons staring out their window at us. I'm not sure how long they watched, but I am sure they got an eye full. They turned on their patio lights as if to congratulate us on a good show, then light from the other side flipped on; John's house and their twenty-something daughter, Samantha, was standing at the window; she was naked with her hand buried between her legs.

I let Lauren know that we had audience members when I finally released her from the table and withdrew my now soft pole. She smiled, stood up, greeted each house, and gave a pose and a naked bow. She grabbed my hand, and we disappeared inside of my home, closing the door behind her. 

She laughed and kissed me, "Best storm ever!" I grabbed two full-size towels and brought them back. I wrapped her up in one and me in the other; we stood there in each other's arms as we warmed each other up. I told you, "When it rains, I get Wet." We smiled, shared a kiss, and laid down on the couch together to continue our movie. 

[practical-tactical-brilliance]

I’m Willing to Wait for It. (Part 1)

Aaron Burr x f!reader

Set 5 days before the Battle of Long Island. Reader is a spy working for Washington.

There’s an upsetting lack of Burr x reader fics out there, so this is my contribution to the cause.

———

The young men from the army were a common sight to see, crowded up in the taverns near the docks in New York Harbour. Raucous, pissing themselves and unashamedly eying up the ladies passing by, they were a sight not to behold. You weren’t expecting to stay for long with such company if you could help it.

Brusquely you made a short circuit around the bar, eyes searching the room, but failing to find the familiar face of someone you were meant to meet with here.

Wolf whistles and the occasional lewd commentary followed you as you found yourself a little nook away from the larger crowds where you could wait for your friend. He had a habit of being late after all and you had time to entertain yourself with watching the antics of those solider boys parading themselves about like peacocks.

From the other end of the room, Alexander Hamilton and his friends John Laurens, Lafayette and Aaron Burr watched you with interest. You were new in this establishment which meant that you were an opportunity.

“Say, where’s Mulligan when you need him?” Lauren’s exclaimed. “He’d be kicking himself if he weren’t here to try and talk such a lovely lady into his bed.”

“I daresay that leaves her fair game to the rest of us then. She holds herself gracefully, I bet she must come from money.” Hamilton jokes.

“Who is she and what family does she belong to? I’ve never seen her before.” Burr questioned with intrigue. He gazed over toward her, and somehow, as if she could feel the heat of his eyes on her, she picked him out from the crowd and returned his stare. It was not a stare of charm, or abashed chasteness that greeted him, but more titillating, it was calm and assessing. His first instinct was to turn away in shame, but his experience made him hold her gaze and respond with a light smile. This was his chance.

“I have absolutely no idea either, but maybe you might care to tell us when you two have a little heart to heart over there, Burr? Looks like someone’s caught her eye.” Hamilton cheekily announced to their circle.

“Oui, you should move quickly mon amie, before another one gets the chance to talk to her!” Lafayette was always the brilliant optimist of their circle, pushing people to try their hardest in all sorts of situations even if the odds were against them.

Although Burr was quite sure that the odds would be in his favour this time.

“I’ll be taking my leave tonight then, gentlemen!” He said as he excused himself from the group.

Weaving around the crowded room, toward you, you saw the man who you locked eyes with was fast approaching. Aaron Burr, you noted. You knew of him and his genius predisposition as well as his status as a young man of growing influence. But you also knew from many accounts that he was an opportunist and a rake.

“Excuse me, my lady, I couldn’t help but notice your exquisite face from afar, may I know what sweet name belongs to a beauty such as yourself?” Without a moment more, he smoothly takes the seat opposite you before anyone else can.

“You speak so kindly, Colonel Burr, my name is Y/N.” You responded in neutrality, you would be waiting otherwise and you supposed that a little flirting wouldn’t hurt in the meantime.

“Ahh, I see that you know of me.”

“It’s hard not to when you’re living in New York. The gossip is always rife.”

“What brings you here tonight? It is unusual to see such lovely woman here alone.”

“I’m here for business, and I’m waiting for someone to arrive.”

“Business? A client?” Burr raised his eyebrows in surprise, was she an escort?

“Business related to the war effort.” You corrected with a blush, realising the misunderstanding.

“Ahh. I must ask what side of the war you are on then.”

Before you could answer again, the shadow of Hercules Mulligan, your contact, towered over Burr.

“Burr! I’m not surprised to see you here, and I see you’ve just already acquainted yourself with Miss Y/N.”

The look of curiosity crossed Burr’s face. How on earth did you know Mulligan? And what role did you play in the revolution?

At the arrival of your contact you relaxed, and without further ado, you turned to your admirer and began to shoo him off. “Mr Burr, I’m afraid Mr Mulligan and I will be discussing some things in private tonight, but it was lovely to meet you.”

“Burr’s a good friend, Miss Y/N and I’m sure he won’t let anything from this conversation leave our little circle, will you, Burr?” Mulligan countered, he must have trusted Burr a lot to let him in on the secret intelligence mission you were working on.

“Of course not, anything said here tonight stays between us.”

This was not the protocol you followed. But you knew Mulligan enough to know that he chose his friends carefully and that he would never invite someone that he didn’t trust to engage in such a sensitive conversation.

“I trust your judgement Mr Mulligan. Bring up a chair then and we’ll get started.”

Over the next hour you gave him explicit details on the movements of the British army that you had gleaned over the course of the week. Things that you were absolutely certain of and plans that were yet unconfirmed. Your position was unique in that it allowed you to move between the American and British side of operations without being questioned.

You were employed to teach the children of a long string of British officers who had started their families in colonies which put you in an advantageous and secure position to gather intelligence for the revolutionary cause. After all, the way to a parent’s heart is through their children, and nobody asks questions of a teacher who is adored by their kids.

“…and there will be an attack, five days from now that there is to be an attack on New York harbour and Long Island when the British fleet arrive. They’re expecting 10 line ships, 20 frigates and 170 transports. 32,000 men.” You said quietly.

“My god. We are unprepared for such conflict.” Mulligan exclaimed, flabbergasted by the revelation. Burr said nothing, although the colour drained from his face immediately. It must be hard to be in his shoes, you thought. The responsibility of leading these men to battle must weigh heavily on him.

You nodded, deep in thought. It would be a bloodbath. How many of these young mirthful men would be here again to tell the tale in 5 days time when all was said and done? Many had never even been in battle before.

“Is that everything you have to report today, Miss?” Mulligan started up again after a brief silence at the table.

“That’s everything.”

“Thank you for the information, I’ll be passing it on to General Washington as soon as I reach him tonight. Hopefully there will be aid for us or another way to defeat the British when they arrive.” Shaking hands with you, he took his leave, but not before turning to Burr. “You should be grateful we have a good spy network. Y/N is one of our best, you should thank her in advance for saving your ass.” He chuckled, clapping his friend on the shoulder before slipping off into the night, leaving the two of you alone again.

“I’m assuming this wasn’t quite the direction you were expecting tonight to take, was it, Colonel Burr?”

“Please, just Aaron. And no, it wasn’t quite what I was expecting, but thank you all for your service to the country.” He bowed his head in newfound respect and awe for your work.

“I could say the same for you. Aaron. You responded with a smile. You tested the name, it was certainly less of a mouthful than ‘Colonel Burr.’

“And I also trust that you will keep my position a secret from your friends?”

“They will be none the wiser, you can trust me.” Burr assured you.

“Thank you. I should be heading home now that Mr Mulligan and I have finished up. Your company tonight was most welcome and flattering, Aaron. I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your night.”

“It would be my absolute pleasure to walk you home if you’d like. The streets here are not the safest at night and at the very least, maybe I can provide you with some entertaining conversation to pass the time.” Aaron pleaded.

“I wouldn’t be opposed, but I don’t want to deprive you of the company of your friends.”

“I don’t think they’re expecting me again if I’m being honest.” He said coyly.

Uh huh.

You fought hard to not wrinkle your nose in disgust at his suggestiveness. They were not wrong when they said he was reliable with the ladies. You absolutely were not going to be offering him tea and biscuits when you got home.

“It is late, and I won’t be able to offer you room and board at my home.” You warned him.

“The pleasure of walking with you is more than a reward for me.”

“Shall we get going then?”

[ghostflowerdreams]

Audio Drama Recommendations, Pt. II

For part one, click here. I went on another audio drama binge and I found some that were pretty fun to listen to. I usually tend to go after the ones that are completed because the longer the wait, the more likely I will forget the details, but this time I just went for anything that caught my attention. This also isn’t in any particular order.

The Magnus Archives – is a horror fiction anthology podcast written by Jonathan Sims, directed by Alexander J. Newall, and distributed by Rusty Quill.

The new Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, Jonathan Sims, attempts to bring a seemingly neglected collection of people’s testimonials of their encounters with the supernatural up to date, converting them to audio and supplementing them with follow-up work from his small but dedicated team. [COMPLETED]

It has five seasons, each 40 episodes long, as well as additional content such as Q&As, non-canon fan-submitted statements and one-off episodes that tie in with Rusty Quill's other podcasts.

It does start out slow and maybe at some point you’ll be wondering where is this going and what does some of these episodes have to do with the overall story, but it does all eventually connect. Your patience will pay off because once the build-up is done it picks up and things get really interesting!

Unwell – is a horror podcast starring Clarisa Cherie Rios and produced by Hartlife NFP.

The story follows Lillian Harper who has returned home to Mt. Absalom, Ohio to care for her estranged mother Dorothy after an injury. Living in the town's boarding house which has been run by her family for generations, she discovers conspiracies, ghosts, and a new family in the house's strange assortment of residents. [ONGOING]

This audio drama has five seasons which runs for 12 episodes. It currently has 54 episodes in total and each one is about 20-30 minutes long. New episodes are released fortnightly (biweekly) on Wednesdays. They take a mid-season break between episodes 6 and 7.

Bridgewater – is a supernatural thriller audio drama produced by Grim & Mild and by iHeartRadio, created by Aaron Mahnke and written/directed by Lauren Shippen.

Folklore professor Jeremy Bradshaw is pulled into the mysterious 1980 disappearance of his police officer father, Thomas, by new evidence that threatens to upend decades of certainty. Along the way, he’s helped by some unlikely partners who challenge everything he believes in, and ultimately tries to answer the question: can the past actually be rewritten?

Together with his father’s former partner, retired Detective Anne Becker, Jeremy must chase the clues that will tell him whether his father really did fall victim to a Satanic cult in the Bridgewater Triangle—or something much more dark and unexplainable. [ONGOING]

It has two seasons, the first consist of 10 episodes and the second has 12 episodes. Each one runs about 20-30 minutes long. Season three was put on hold when there was news of a possible television series. However, that fell through and by then everyone was working on other projects. So a season three, well, that’s pretty much up in the air.

It stars Misha Collins (Supernatural), Melissa Ponzio (Teen Wolf), Nathan Fillion (Firefly, The Rookie), Karan Soni (Deadpool), Kristin Bauer (True Blood), Hilarie Burton Morgan (The Walking Dead, One Tree Hill), Wil Wheaton (Star Trek: The Next Generation), Jonathan Joss (The Magnificent Seven, Parks and Rec) and Lori Alan (Spongebob Squarepants, Family Guy).

The Lovecraft Investigations -- is a mystery thriller/horror fiction podcast written and directed by Julian Simpson, based on several works of H.P. Lovecraft. It’s produced by Sweet Talk Productions for BBC Radio 4. It concluded with three seasons and each episode is about 25-30 minutes long. There might be a fourth season in the works, but even if there isn’t the series is considered to be finished.

The first season starts off with an investigation into the disappearance of a young man, Charles Dexter Ward from a locked room in an asylum. [COMPLETED]

It stars Barnaby Kay (Shakespeare in Love), Jana Carpenter (Doctor Who), Nicola Walker (MI-5, Unforgotten), Mark Bazeley (The Queen, The Bourne Ultimatum), Phoebe Fox (Eye in the Sky, The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death), Steven Mackintosh (Rang De Basanti, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels), Samuel Barnett (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, Penny Dreadful), Alun Armstrong (Sleepy Hollow, The Mummy Returns), Adam Godley (The Great, The Umbrella Academy), and so on.

Midnight Burger – is a monthly sci-fi audio drama about a diner at the end – and somehow the beginning – of the universe.

When Gloria took a waitressing job at Midnight Burger outside of Phoenix, she didn’t realize she was now an employee of a time-traveling, dimension-spanning diner. Every day Midnight Burger appears somewhere new in the cosmos along with its staff: a galactic drifter, a rogue theoretical physicist, a sentient old-timey radio, and some guy named Caspar.

No one knows who built Midnight Burger or how it works, but when it appears there's always someone around who could really use a cup of coffee. Come by any time, we open at six. [ONGOING]

The audio drama currently has three seasons and each episodes averages about 30 minutes to an hour or so.

Rex Rivetter: Private Eye – is a 1950s-style noir detective audio drama written by Greg McAfee, directed by Rhiannon McAfee, and produced in San Diego, CA by Downstairs Entertainment with editing and sound design by Steve Murdock. The Rex Rivetter theme “Nightmare” by the Artie Shaw Orchestra is used with permission of Music Sales Corp.

The year is 1955. Tinsel town. The land of make-believe. It's a time of growth in American prosperity. Especially in Los Angeles. Here, dreams are bought and sold.

But there's a seedier side to the City of Angels, the shadows where pimps and narcotics pushers live, where organized crime stands just around every corner with one hand out, and the other wrapped around a roscoe. It's a city full of fancy dames and slick cons, where bookies know the vig, so you better, too.

Some folks call it noir or pulp fiction. But for a private eye named Rex Rivetter, it's home. [ONGOING]

It has four seasons and each one runs about 20-30 minutes long. Due to the pandemic, it is still unknown if season five will ever come out and so far there hasn’t been any news about it either.

Mansfield Mysteries – is a satirical, cozy murder whodunit written by Amy Henson, directed by Nicholas Hoyt and produced by The QuaranTeam.

It follows the inquisitive, martini-loving socialite Dorinda Mansfield and is set in quiet, affluent Berkshire Bay. So far it only has one season, which contains nine hilarious episodes, each three-chapter story finds Dorinda wrapped up in a new murder. With the help of her devoted daughter, Stacey—as well as the occasional frenemy—Dorinda digs for clues, navigates Berkshire Bay’s elite social circles, and sifts through years’ worth of grudges and motives. In this company town, no one can be trusted, and everyone has something to hide.

Whether at the Labor Day Extravaganza, the Halloween Tennis Club Open, or secret karaoke night, Dorinda sets out to find the real killer before they get away with murder… Just as soon as she orders her martini! [COMPLETED]

If you’re looking for a bite-sized audio drama, this might be for you. It has three seasons (or chapters) and each one only takes three episodes to complete its tales, which is fun, amusing and will keep you entertained while you’re working on something or resting your eyes.

The Call of the Void – is an indie science fiction mystery audio drama created and written by Josie Eli Herman and Michael Alan Herman. It’s produced by Acorn Arts & Entertainment. It contains three seasons of 28 episodes and each one is about 25-30 minutes long with a cast of about 35 actors.

In the bustling streets of New Orleans, a tour guide and a palm-reading outcast team up to unravel the mystery behind cases of sudden insanity besetting the city. [COMPLETED]

Wolf 359 – is a science fiction audio drama created by Gabriel Urbina and produced by Gabriel Urbina and Zach Valenti under Kinda Evil Genius Productions. It consists of four seasons with 61 episodes in total and each one is about 25-40 minutes long.

It is set on board the U.S.S. Hephaestus space station orbiting the star Wolf 359 on a deep space survey mission. The dysfunctional crew deals with daily life-or-death emergencies, while searching for signs of alien life and discovering there might be more to their mission than they thought. [COMPLETED]

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 20

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC Smut & Language- Minors DNI New as of 9/11/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: "I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy."

My entire morning was dragging after finding out about the TMZ article and Instagram post. I could feel the staff's eyes on me and hear the whispers. Everyone knew about it. Once I had a minute to myself, I sent Dieter a text about everything. That was two hours ago, and he still hadn’t answered. I had a feeling he was dealing with a shit storm of epic proportions. The longer I went without hearing from him, the more anxious I felt.

As my final meeting was coming to an end, I saw a notification pop up on my phone. Normally I wouldn’t check my phone during a meeting, but I needed to hear from him.

DIETER: Sorry it took me so long to respond. This morning has been crazy. You want to come over to my house when you leave work? I’m meeting with my manager and publicist.

ME: Yeah, I’ll come straight there.

DIETER: Just a head’s up... TMZ is about to post an update. They have info on you. They are refusing to keep it under wraps. We tried everything. I’m sorry.

I sighed heavily and let out a quiet “fuck” under my breath. Everyone sitting near me looked in my direction. Aubrey had heard it too, but she continued speaking as she gave me a concerned look. I opened the browser on my phone and hit refresh on the article. There were multiple updates posted since earlier this morning. Several ‘sources’ had indicated that Dieter was under the influence of some unknown substance during the confrontation, which they said was related to concerns over his current relationship. They had also added a screen shot of this morning's Instagram post. Another ‘source’ raised concerns about his current mental health status due to his unusual behavior the last few months.

I squeezed the bridge of my nose where a deep throb was forming. This was so ridiculous and blown out of proportion. Who were they even talking with to get this information? I hit refresh again. Sure enough, there was a new update. They had my picture from the company website along with all sorts of details about me, including where I worked. I exhaled slowly as I leaned back in my seat. Aubrey was just wrapping up the meeting. While everyone filed out of the conference room, she and Kerrie walked over noticing that I was upset. When they asked what was going on, I didn’t say anything. I unlocked my phone and handed it to Aubrey.

Aubrey’s eyes grew wide as she handed the phone to Kerrie.

“Wow. That didn’t take long, huh?”

“Where are they getting this information? It’s not even accurate.”

“There is no telling,” Kerrie said as she returned my phone.

“I should probably go before the paparazzi show up here.”

I quickly walked back to my office to gather my things, then headed out the back door toward my car. I noticed there were already a couple of people across the street milling around with cameras. I kept my head down, walking in the opposite direction toward where I parked. I managed to make it out of there without being noticed.

I arrived at Dieter’s a short time later, without incident. When I keyed into the front door, I could hear voices coming from the kitchen. I paused to take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves.

“This is fucking ridiculous. Where are they getting their information? Someone that was there with Anna has to be feeding it to them.”

A woman’s voice spoke up, “D., you were yelling. I’m sure anyone seated around you could have figured out what it was about.”

“Yeah, but what about these sources? It’s all total bullshit. I swear, it sounds like Ann...”

I sat my bags down on the couch before walking into the kitchen as Dieter was speaking. He was leaning against the counter, until he caught sight of me. He stopped mid sentence, walking over to hug me tightly and immediately started apologizing.

“Stop apologizing. It’s fine. I’m ok.”

He pulled away as he moved his hand to cup my face. He gave me a questioning look, trying to decide if I was being honest or not. He seemed satisfied with what he saw before leaning in to give me a quick kiss on the lips. He reached down to grab my hand and led me further into the kitchen to where the man and woman were sitting at the kitchen table. He then introduced me to his publicist, Elaine, and his manager, Ty.

Elaine was probably in her late forties. She had blonde hair swept up into a neat bun. She was dressed business casual, but there was something elegant and genial about her. Ty seemed to be around the same age. He had dark hair with a hipster vibe about him. His face was very smug and judgy. Something about him was already rubbing me the wrong way.

As Dieter introduced us, Elaine gave me a warm smile and shook my hand. Ty on the other hand, looked me up and down before saying, “I would love to say I’ve heard a lot about you, but he has told us absolutely nothing before today.” He followed that statement with a tight smile before turning his gaze to Dieter in an admonishing way.

“That’s not accurate. I told you about her a long time ago. I just didn’t share intimate details because my personal life is my business.”

“Yeah, until it’s not,” Ty shot back at him.

Elaine jumped in, “Ok guys, let’s not argue. Let’s just figure out how we’re going to deal with this, please.”

“D., I’ve got to ask… you swear you're not using again? Be honest. We can’t help if we don’t know.”

Ty glanced over at me as he spoke. Almost like he wanted to see my reaction.

“I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have asked that in front of your lady,” he added.

My eyes were focused on Ty. I could feel the intense look forming on my face. I knitted my brows together and tilted my head slightly as I tried to read his body language. That was exactly his intention. Was he testing us or just trying to be an ass?

“It’s fine, Ty. She already knows everything,” Dieter said as he grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. He could sense that I was on edge with this guy. He gave me a comforting smile before turning back to Ty.

“I can’t believe you’re really asking me that. I’m completely clean. I didn’t even have any alcohol to drink last night. Neither of us did.”

“You’ve been so secretive lately and haven’t really been in touch with us unless you have to be. I’m just making sure. We don’t know what you’ve been up to,” Ty replied.

“I’ve been on a fucking break. Here. Staying out of trouble like you told me to do.”

I was starting to get annoyed with Ty’s line of questioning. He was being very negative. I felt the need to say something.

“For what it’s worth, I can vouch for him. He’s been working really hard at getting his shit together and he’s been doing great. Truly. We’re together the majority of the time, so I would know if he was doing something like that.”

“I’m sorry, what was your name again?” Ty asked. I narrowed my eyes at him in response. He waved his hands and shook his head in a way that said ‘never mind’ before continuing, “Look, I don’t know you. No offense, but for all I know you could be feeding him lines of coke off those pert tits of yours all the while telling us everything is hunky-dory.”

I had to bite my tongue. I nodded my head as I gave him a tight smile and exhaled loudly. Dieter braced for my response, but I didn’t give one. I wasn’t really sure how to handle this situation.

Elaine interjected, “Ok, that’s enough Ty. Stop being a dick.” Ty gave her a sarcastic smile before leaning back into his seat and crossing his arms.

“Look D., I can tell by looking at you that you’re clean. Don’t listen to him,” she added.

I turned to go grab my laptop and phone off of the couch, then walked toward the back door. Dieter gave me a questioning look. I couldn’t stay in here with this guy for another minute.

“I’m gonna go sit out here and work until you're done.”

“You don’t have to do that. You’re in my life now. I don’t mind if you're involved in these discussions.”

“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.” I raised my brows at him. He knew what I was saying. I was going to lose it on this guy if I stayed. He gave me a tight nod in understanding.

I exited to the back yard and walked over to sit under the canopy of the rounded daybed to avoid the afternoon sun. I propped myself up on several outdoor pillows and stretched my legs out before getting back to work on my laptop. It was hard to focus given the day’s events. My thoughts were wandering as were my eyes. I couldn’t help glancing toward the glass doors. I could make out Dieter’s dark figure pacing around the kitchen, gesturing with his arms as he talked. Based on his mannerisms, he seemed frustrated. I felt that too.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed before the back door opened. Dieter came out carrying a takeout container and two bottles of water. He sat everything on a nearby table before crawling up the daybed toward my right side. I slid my laptop off to the left, giving him space to hover above the right side of my body as he leaned in for a lingering kiss. He pulled back slightly as his eyes roamed over my face.

“Lunch is here. Gotta make sure you don’t get hangry.” I chuckled.

“Thank you. How is it going in there?” He sighed as he sank down to lay his head on my chest. His right arm reached around and hugged me tightly.

“It’s going. I think we’ve settled on releasing a statement. Elaine is drafting it now. I’m not cool with people thinking I was under the influence. That’s the part that bothers me the most, aside from them posting all the details about you, obviously.”

“Can I ask you about that Instagram post?” He groaned.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve talked to you before I did that. I was hell-bent on making a point.”

He raised his head to look at me. He had a fierce look in his eyes, “I meant it though. I don’t need anyone but you. You’re kinda it for me and I don’t care who knows. They can all fuck off if they have a problem with it. I hope you’re not mad about it.”

“I’m not mad, but a heads up would’ve been helpful. I had to find all this stuff out from my assistant and boss as soon as I walked into the office this morning. Under normal circumstances, I probably would’ve found it to be a turn on, actually. But, the whole public side of everything just adds a weird layer to it, you know what I mean?”

“Shit, mi vida, I’m sorry. I really didn’t think that through. It was impulsive. I shouldn’t have done it.”

He scooted to sit upright, then pulled me into a hug. I nuzzled into the crook of his neck while he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. He began to run his fingers through the back of my hair.

“I’ve never been in an actual relationship, so I’m probably gonna fuck up… a lot. I’m asking for a little grace in advance because I’m not really sure how to navigate all this. But... I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

I pulled away, reaching to cup his cheek as our eyes met.

“We’ll figure it out together. You just need to make sure you’re communicating your thoughts and feelings with me, ok?”

He shook his head in agreement before reaching to grab my hand that was resting on his cheek. He held it as he turned to kiss the palm. Then he leaned forward to kiss me on the lips. His tongue quickly found its way into my mouth for a moment. He pulled away, giving me a deep gaze. His eyes were now hooded with desire.

“I better get back in here before Ty comes looking for me.”

“I don’t think Ty is a fan of me.”

“Ty is a dick. He’s also friends with Anna, so there’s no telling what’s going on in his head.”

“Oh, is that gonna be a problem?”

“Possibly. We’ll see.”

I gave him a concerned look. He responded with a tight small and raised eyebrows before moving to get up and walk back toward the house. As I watched him, my eyes were drawn to the two silhouettes in the kitchen window. Elaine and Ty had been watching us.

I suddenly felt like our private moment had been violated. Then again, I should probably get used to that. The quiet world we had been living in was quickly crumbling around us. I had a sinking feeling in my gut that we were about to be tested. My only hope was that we could handle it.

I moved over to the table with my laptop so that I could eat as I continued to work. However, that was soon interrupted by my cell phone ringing. It was Lauren calling. She must have finally gotten wind of what was going on. As soon as I answered, she was in full interrogation mode.

“What the actual fuck is going on? What is all this stuff on TMZ? And that Instagram post? What the hell happened in Sonoma?”

I quickly filled her in on all the details as I nibbled at my lunch. I could feel my chest tightening as I relayed the events from the previous night.

“Well, I’m happy you both finally stood up to Anna. She is such a bitch. I can’t believe she said that shit. It’s so fucked up. It’s almost like she was trying to get that kind of reaction out of him.”

“Oh, I’m fairly certain that was the exact reaction she was shooting for. She knows how to push his buttons, unfortunately.”

“Should we be concerned about his reaction? He’s never been like that before, right?”

“Not that I’ve seen. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t concern me a little. He wasn’t responding to me initially, but I think he was just trying to focus on staying calm.”

“Yeah, hopefully that’s all it was.”

Lauren and I ended our conversation after that with promises for the two of us to get together soon. It felt like we hadn’t spent any quality friend time together in ages, and I hated that. She had seemed less engaged lately, blaming it on being short staffed at the shop. I briefly found myself wondering if she had something going on that she wasn’t sharing. It would be unusual for her to keep something from me though. I wasn’t sure if I had the mental capacity to think about that too much at the moment, so I dismissed the thought.

Soon after hanging up with Lauren, Aubrey called to check in and see how I was doing. She told me to take the following day off to try and relax after the madness of today. She also told me to work from home for the next little bit until things calmed down, noting that guys with cameras were hanging around the building. All I could do was apologize. I felt awful that my place of employment was having to deal with this mess too, but she was having none of it.

“Talia, after what I saw in here with you two yesterday, I can’t bring myself to care. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that happy or content. It is what it is. We’ll handle it.”

I could feel myself getting a little emotional. Tears started to form in the corners of my eyes. She was always more supportive of me than she needed to be. I had to take a moment to steady my voice before responding.

“Thank you. I appreciate it. Hopefully it will blow over quickly.”

After hanging up with Aubrey, I sat staring at my laptop, completely disassociating for a time, feeling like my mind needed a break. I was soon brought back to reality by the sound of footsteps. When I glanced up, I was greeted by Elaine’s approaching smile.

“Do you mind if I join you for a few minutes? Dieter and Ty are on a conference call with the studio. I don’t want to be in on that one if I can help it.”

“Uhh, yeah, sure. Have a seat,” I motioned to the seat next to me as I moved the empty food container out of the way.

She sat down beside me, still smiling before she continued, “You work for Aubrey, right?”

My head snapped back toward her, eyes widened in surprise.

“Yeah…how did you…”

“We have friends in common, so we’ve spent a lot of time together. I didn’t realize who you were until I read that article. I’ve heard her say a lot of really good things about you.”

“Oh well, small world.” I gave a timid laugh. I wasn’t sure where this was going.

“You know, I was with Dieter during a few meetings in New York. He seemed different, even then. I’m pretty sure he was enamored with you the moment you met.”

I couldn’t help the look of disbelief that came across my face, “I doubt that.”

“I’m serious. I mean, he’d been trying to straighten his life out for some time, but something changed after that trip. He seemed a lot more focused and determined. I think that had a lot to do with you.”

I couldn’t help the half smile that crept across my face. If I was honest, I think I was probably enamored with him before we even said a word to each other that first night at the bar.

“I’ve been working with Dieter since the beginning, and I’ve never seen him like this with anyone. I can see that he’s in love with you. I think you’re good for him. So, ignore anything Ty says. He’s blind and also a dick. If you need to throw some of that sass at him that I’ve heard so much about, do it. He needs to be put in his place every once in a while.”

I chuckled. Of course, Aubrey had mentioned that. It was the thing she loved most about me. I could always say what she couldn’t. As far as Elaine was concerned, she was definitely earning some points in my book. I felt like she was being sincere and meant what she was saying. I was happy to find that Dieter had at least one decent person on his side.

“Thank you. I probably needed to hear that. I’m happy he has you. Everyone else I’ve met so far, aside from his family… I’ve just not been impressed. I can understand why he feels like he doesn't have enough support.”

“It’s not the easiest industry to work in. Especially when you have things going on like he does. I’m happy he found someone from the outside that he can trust.”

We were interrupted by Dieter sticking his head out the back door to announce they were off the call. I decided to give up on work for the day since I couldn’t concentrate and had made zero progress. I gathered up all of my things and followed Elaine inside. Elaine and Ty didn’t stay much longer after that, thankfully.

Dieter made a point to set his phone to ‘do not disturb’ after they left. He was over it all and looked exhausted. He flopped down on the couch. I followed, squeezing in between him and the back of it, cuddling into his side. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. Both of us sat in silence for some time before he spoke up.

“I’ve been asked to go see my therapist tomorrow. I’m a little pissed that Ty has no confidence in me.”

“How involved is he with that stuff?”

“Not really that involved. He just likes to make sure I’m going regularly. He doesn’t know the details of anything.”

“Well, maybe it's not a bad idea. This week has been a lot for you. It couldn’t hurt. I can take you if you want. Aubrey told me to take tomorrow off. I can pop in to visit Lauren at the shop while you’re there.”

“Yeah, sure. I think I’d like that.”

We spent the rest of the evening on the couch together catching up on some of our shows and enjoying each other’s company. It was a nice end to the day given how it had started. It was exactly what we needed to recover from the drama.

When the alarm went off at 7AM the next morning, Dieter was not there. I sighed when my fingers met with the cold sheets on his side of the bed. As I lay wondering how long he had been awake, he came walking into the room wearing nothing but gym shorts and carrying a cup of coffee. He handed it over to me as I sat up.

“Despierta, bella durmiente.”

I squinted at him in confusion, “What?”

“Wake up, sleeping beauty,” he repeated in English with a smirk.

“I don’t know about beauty. I’m pretty sure I look like a hot mess.”

I could tell my hair was sticking up in every direction after having Dieter’s hands tangled in it for an extended time the previous night. Even though we were both worn out, we still had the need to partake in some stress relieving activities before sleep took us. It was becoming part of our nightly routine at this point.

He rolled his eyes at me, “Whatever you say, mi amor.”

I smiled at his response. I understood that pet name.

“I happen to like the wild sex hair look, it’s a good reminder of our late night activities,” he added with a playful smile and a wink before walking into his closet.

“I probably need to run to my house to grab some clothes.”

“I should just give you space in my closet so you have some things here for days like this.”

He walked out and threw one of his band t-shirts at me to wear. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Is that right? Are we those people now?” I huffed out a laugh.

“Just trying to make your life a little easier babe,” he replied with a flirty grin.

“I guess this means I shouldn’t make you live out of a gym bag at my place anymore then.”

I gave him a teasing look as I took another sip of my coffee.

“I mean, it would save me from all the wrinkles and it’s the polite thing to do.”

He shrugged as he sat down on the bed beside me with a toothy smile on his face. I reached up to slide my hand around to the back of his neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss. He briefly paused to take the coffee mug out of my other hand and sat it on the nightstand. Then, he lifted the comforter and crawled underneath it, hovering above my naked body to settle in between my thighs.

As he kissed down the crook of my neck, he reached down to my folds, rubbing gently. He groaned when he felt how wet I already was for him. He inserted two fingers painfully slow as his thumb found the bundle of nerves at my center. His touch caused a sudden jolt of heat to radiate through me. I arched up toward his mouth, which had found its way to my breast. My hands twisted in his curls as he kissed and sucked every inch of me that he had access to, causing me to climax quickly. It was amazing how well he could work my body into a frenzy. I didn’t understand it, but I welcomed it without hesitation every time.

He continued to shower me with soft caresses and kisses until I came down from my high. My immediate response was to reach for his shorts and shove them down his hips far enough to release the hardness I could feel pressing against me. As soon as he was free, I lined him up with my entrance. He responded by slowly sinking into me for the first few thrusts. He abruptly switched to hard thrusts in, all the way to the hilt, but pulled out ever so slowly. With each thrust in, I could feel my muscles quiver slightly. Ready to be taken over the edge again. A small whimper escaped my mouth every time he slammed into me. This pace was maddening, and he knew it.

“Fuck, I’m so close. Stop teasing me. Please,” I managed to cry out between moans.

“What do you need, mi amor. Tell me.”

I could feel his warm breath against my ear as he spoke in a low, sensual tone.

“Faster… please.”

He acquiesced by gradually increasing speed, but still thrusting just as hard. It didn’t take long after that. I quickly came undone around him. He followed soon after, burying his face into my neck. Muffling the low grunts that were escaping his lips.

He hovered above me with his head leaning down toward my chest for several minutes, trying to catch his breath. When he raised it to look at me, I reached for his face and ran my thumb down his plump bottom lip as we looked into each other's eyes. Taking in the shared emotions of the moment. Our time together only seemed to be getting more passionate. It was a miracle to me that we could handle it. I took that as a testament to how much we had both evolved emotionally.

“We really should get in the shower, or else I’m gonna be late.”

I nodded in agreement before giving him one last kiss. He pulled himself out of me with a small grunt, moving to get up. He discarded his shorts on the floor before he walked toward the bathroom. I followed behind to join him. Showering together was becoming pretty routine at this point too. Any chance we got for bonding time, we took full advantage of.

We both had to rush to get ready so that he wasn’t late for his appointment. I didn’t have time to stop and get fresh clothes, so I ended up wearing my skinny jeans from the day before with his t-shirt. Luckily, I had a spare pair of comfy sneakers stowed away in my car.

He was quiet on the way to his appointment, seeming somewhat anxious. He had his right arm propped on the passenger side door with his hand fisted under his chin as he looked out the window. His left hand sat on his thigh while his thumb rubbed back and forth against the other four digits non-stop. I reached over to grab his left hand, entwining our fingers together, hoping it would help calm him. I wasn’t sure that it did.

I pulled up to the front door of his therapist office to drop him off. He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss before exiting the vehicle. I really hoped his session went ok. I wasn’t sure how much more he could handle this week.

After dropping him off, I made my way over to Lauren’s shop. I needed to pick up some supplies, but also wanted to visit with her if she wasn’t too busy. However, when I got there, I was informed that she was taking the day off because she wasn’t feeling well. I found that to be odd. I tried calling her as I wandered down the painting supply aisles. She didn’t answer. I sent her a quick text.

ME: Hey, stopped by to see you and they said you’re out sick. You ok? Need anything?

I didn’t get an immediate response back. Maybe she was asleep? Weird.

I continued browsing for another twenty minutes or so. Finally, my phone pinged.

LAUREN: No, I’m good. Just sleeping it off.

That’s it. Nothing else. Typically, she tended to overshare the gory details. Something had to be going on with her. I felt like I needed to talk to her about it.

I gathered up the remaining items that I needed, then headed toward the checkout counter. I still had some time to kill before going to pick Dieter up, so I decided to run by his favorite smoothie place to pick something up for us. When I got there, it was fairly empty. However, I could feel eyes on me as I stood in line. I glanced around and noticed a couple of girls sitting in a booth looking my way like they recognized me. Geez. I felt like I needed to resort to wearing a hat and sunglasses like Dieter often did. I made a point to turn away from them so they couldn’t see my face. Luckily, I got our order fairly quickly after that and hightailed it back to my car.

I made my way back toward Dieter’s therapist office. I managed to find a parking spot nearby to wait. He still had about ten minutes left. To kill some time, I pulled out my phone to scroll through social media. As soon as I opened the app, I checked the one message alert that popped up. It was from Kerrie. She shared a picture of me at the smoothie shop that had just been posted by a fan account. There was a second picture of Dieter wearing the same t-shirt at some point in time. So they take inventory of his clothing too? And I had literally just left the place.

“Fucking hell. This is so ridiculous.”

I shook my head, closing the app without reading any of the comments. I didn’t want to know what they had to say. Just as I threw my phone down on the middle console, I saw Dieter walking out of the building, briefly stopping to pull out his phone. I assumed to check in on where I was. I quickly pulled out of the parking spot to meet him.

He had an irritated scowl on his face as he got into the car and shut the door a little harder than necessary. I stuck his smoothie in front of his face, and he softened some as he took it from me. He turned, giving me a small smile before sticking the straw in his mouth. I took a minute to pull out onto the main road before I spoke, “I’m almost afraid to ask, but did everything go ok?”

He was quiet for a time as he continued to work on his smoothie. I could tell he was thinking about how to respond.

“He wants to make some adjustments to my medication. The med provider agreed, so I’ve gotta go pick up some prescriptions.”

“Why does he want to do that?”

“Because I’m still having trouble sleeping and the anxiety is getting worse. They’re trying a different sleeping pill and different dosage amounts on the other stuff. I know it’s just because I’m leaving to film soon. It’s got me a little amped up. I really don’t wanna be dealing with medication changes on top of that. It tends to mess with me until I adjust.”

I didn’t really know what to say. I reached over to grab his hand in comfort. He spoke up again, directing me to one of the local pharmacies so he could pick up his prescriptions. I parked and started to grab my purse, but he told me I could wait in the car. Before he got out, he grabbed his hat, sunglasses, and earbuds. His ultimate “don’t talk to me” look. He reached in for his drink before shutting the door. I watched him walk toward the main entrance with his head down. He looked defeated and I hated it for him. He still had a long road ahead of him.

It took a while before his prescription was ready since they had just called it in. He finally came shuffling out the doors forty-five minutes after he went in. He was immediately approached by someone shoving a camera in his face. I could tell he was annoyed, but still smiled and chatted with the guy as he walked. I assumed it was paparazzi since they were clearly recording the entire interaction. When Dieter got to the car and opened the door, I could hear the guy yelling my name and asking how I was today. I mustered a small smile and wave as Dieter shut the door.

“I guess our quiet little bubble has burst, huh?”

“Yep. Welcome to my world.”

He gave me an annoyed look as he put his seatbelt on. I backed out as the guy continued to film. We were both beyond ready to go home.

During our remaining two weeks together, we spent as much time at home as we could. Dieter enlisted his assistant, Rylee, to pick things up for us as needed. She was a sweet girl and seemed like a genuinely good person, which I was thankful for. She had a lot of spunk and a fun personality, with brightly colored hair to match. He was going to need that while he was away. He was going to need all the help and positivity he could get.

As his departure date neared, he was clearly getting more anxious. He tried to keep himself busy preparing for the role during the hours that I worked. Our free time was spent wrapped up with each other, locking the rest of the world out. It was the only time he seemed to relax in the slightest.

Since his change in medication, there were some days he felt terrible. He started having intense headaches and nausea almost immediately. The doctor insisted that was normal the first few weeks, which was frustrating for him. He was worried it wouldn’t stop before filming began, adding an extra layer to his anxiety. It did seem to be happening less as the days went on, but that did little to ease his fears. It also didn’t seem to be doing much to remedy the issues for which he was taking them, further frustrating him.

In an effort to keep his spirits up, we started planning our trips to see each other. The first trip would be three weeks after filming started. I would be spending a week with him while he worked. He had a scheduled three-day break four weeks after that. Which meant he would fly back home during that time. By then they would be getting into filming out in the middle of nowhere, so we decided to play it by ear at that point because of my work schedule. I had hoped that having those planned visits would give him something to look forward to. A positive distraction to focus on rather than the negative thoughts he said often plagued him.

The morning that he was set to leave, he was a scattered mess. His thoughts were all over the place. He was jumping from one topic to another as he rushed around to make sure he had everything he needed. I felt like he was doing everything he could to not focus on the fact that he was leaving, which was probably a good thing. Both of us seemed to be avoiding that topic directly.

Rylee was traveling with Dieter, so she showed up around an hour before their car arrived to take them to the airport. They went through several checklists to make sure he was all set. I was thankful for that because I had no idea what all he needed. It also helped to keep him distracted.

Before we knew it, their car was out front waiting as they hauled their luggage out. We kept our goodbye brief with a tight embrace and passionate kiss, all while avoiding direct eye contact and not saying a word. We both knew if we lingered too long, one of us would break down. I didn’t want to stress him further, so I knew we needed to avoid that at all costs.

As soon as his car was out of sight, I lost all composure. I couldn’t help it. I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it was making me nauseous. I was worried about how he was going to handle this. As I sat on the couch trying to pull myself together, my phone pinged.

DIETER: Love you, mi estrella. I miss you already.

ME: Love you too. I’ll be with you again soon enough. Call me if you need me, please.

DIETER: I promise I will. I’ll text you when we land.

After I calmed down, I turned off everything and locked his house up. I decided to go back to my place for now. I needed to distract myself. When I got home, I went straight to my craft room and started a new project, a painting for Dieter. He had mentioned multiple times that he wanted me to paint one for his house. I felt like this would be the perfect distraction.

I had an image in my mind that I wanted to recreate for him. A reminder of our most intimate experience, but also a reminder of a happier time from his past. I started by covering the canvas with the brilliant colors of the rising sun, before moving on to the more symbolic images that would serve as the focal point of the piece. The images were slowly beginning to take shape as I blended the dark wood colors with gold, green, and white. I got lost in the project, my emotions finally going numb and thoughts going blank as I had intended.

A/N: Hopefully this chapter wasn’t too much of a mess. My concentration has been all over the place this week for whatever reason and it was a struggle.

Anyway, so there we have it. The fallout from the very public argument with Anna. How we feeling about that? Do you think it will create any problems for our lovely couple? Did your feelings change about the Instagram post after their talk? What are your thoughts on the new characters? Do we think something is going on with Lauren, or is Talia overthinking it?

Dieter has officially left to film, which is what everyone has been dreading. How do we think everything that he is currently dealing with is going to affect him? Any predictions on how this is about to go?

What about Talia’s painting? Any predictions on what it might be?

So many things to ponder in this chapter!

I am issuing a warning now. Things are going to start getting a lot rougher going forward. There is going to be some extreme drama and angst building until it finally hits a breaking point due to a major event that’s going to be pretty heart wrenching for everyone. So, be prepared for the crazy journey ahead.

Mood board for this chapter is included below in case you missed the teaser. 😉

Next Chapter

Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @cakipy-blog @pedrostories @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury

Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: robots and artificial intelligences

A note: I'm differentiating here between artificial intelligence and transhumanism (such as uploaded consciousnesses and cyborgs), which I intend to make a separate rec post for at a later date.

(Titles marked with * are my personal favorites)

Other book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books, portal fantasies

Continue beneath the cut for details on the books!

The Outside by Ada Hoffman*

AKA the book the put me in an existenial crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired scifi where reality is warped and artifical gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by post-human cybernetic 'angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart.

The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden

South African-set scifi featuring gods ancient and new, robots finding sentience, dik-diks, and a gay teen with mind control abilities. An ancient goddess seeks to return to her true power no matter how many humans she has to sacrifice to get there. A little bit all over the place but very creative and fresh.

17776: What Football Will Look Like in the Future by Jon Bois*

A multi-media web novel available to read freely online (which you should do!!). I don't want to give too much away as the initial punch of finding things out is part of the journey, but it's both hilarious and profound as it questions the meaning of humanity and life.

Illuminae (Illuminae Files) by Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff*

Young adult told through the medium of transcripts, text messages and the like (this is one of few books where I highly recommend reading a physical copy over a digital as the visual aspect is much more enjoyable like that). After their colony is attacked, the surviving inhabitants flee on space ships, attempting to avoid the pursuing killers while also dealing with a deadly madening plague on board and a ruthless ship AI seemingly losing its mind.

A Closed and Common Orbit (Wayfarers series) by Becky Chambers*

Technically part two of a series, but stands well on its own as the installments are only losely connected (though I recommend reading the first book as well, it's very good). A former ship's AI recently moved into an illegal android body tries to make sense of life as she navigates her way through humans and aliens alike.

The Quiet at the End of the World by Lauren James*

Young adult. After the spread of a global virus causing infertility, teenagers Lowrie and Shen are now the youngest humans alive as the adults around them race to find a cure. As they investigate the ruins of the world, the two come across records from the past, of how grief stricken people turned to raising artificial children in apps and how these 'children' developed, and through these records the two learn of their history. Also has a bisexual main character!

A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk and Robot series) by Becky Chambers

Novella. Long ago, robots, upon gaining sentience, simply laid down their work and walked into the wilderness. Long after, a tea monk looking for purpose follows after them into the wilds, where they come across one of the robots seeking its own sort of answers. While not plotless, this story focuses more on character and vibes over plot. Also has a nonbinary main character and features conversations on gender between human and robot.

All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries) by Martha Wells*

After having hacked its own governor module, SecUnit uses its small amount of new freedom to secretly download and watch as much media as it can between doing its job guarding humans. But when the scientists it’s been charged with keeping safe come under attack, it must make a choice about whether to continue keeping its freedom secret or risk it all to save them. The series features both novellas and full length novels, and balances humor with scathing critique of capitalism.

Machinehood by S.B. Divya

Prudent in the rise of AI and machine learning, Machinehood shows a near future in which humans struggle to find a place on the workforce as more and more jobs are given to AI. Status quo is shaken as a dangerous terrorist group calling itself The Machinehood starts committing attacks. A close look both at the rights of humans in a technologically changing world, and at the rights of AI as their intelligence edges ever closer to full sentience.

The Company of Death by Elisa Hansen*

A wild mix of genres, where a zombie apocalypse has struck and vampires gather up humans to keep their food source from going extinct, a robot travels across America with a young man she's tasked to keep safe, and former-vampire-hunter-recent-zombie Emily teams up with Death himself to stop the apocalypse. Features bi and ace characters! Bonus rec: the author also runs the youtube channel Maven of the Eventide, where she talks about various vampire media. Check it out!

Railhead by Philip Reeve

Young adult. In a future where humanity travel between the stars using not spaceships but a portal-connected system of sentient trains, a young thief and street urchin is hired to steal something off of the Emperor's train.

Being by Kevin Brooks*

Young adult. Cards on the table, I think I was about 14 when I last read this, but it made a strong enough impression that I still think of it as one of my favorite books. After having gone in for a routine exam, doctors make a stunning discovery about Robert Smith: he isn't human. Suddenly hunted, Robert goes on the run as he tries to cope with the fact of his own existence. While I love this book, it gives very few answers to its many mysteries, so don’t go in expecting full explanations.

Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie*

A space opera in which sentient spaceships can walk the ground in stolen human bodies, so called ancillaries. One of these ancillaries, the sole survivor after the complete destruction of her ship and crew, is one the hunt for revenge. This series also does very cool things with gender!

Crier's War by Nina Varela

Who says sci-fi has monopoly on robots? In sapphic YA fantasy Crier's War, artificially created automae have defeated and subjugated humans, who live as second class citizens. Young Ayla goes undercover as a servant, meaning to assassinate automae girl and Sovereign's daughter Crier. This would be easier if the two weren't quick to develop feelings for each other.

My Heart is Human by Reese Hogan

Nine years ago, all complex technology was made illegal. This complicates life for Joel, young transgender single father, as a bionic just uploaded itself into his brain without consent. Scared of losing his daughter, Joel tries to keep the bionic secret while using it to fix his life, but things quickly get more complicated as the bionic gains more and more control of his body. Makes a lot of cool paralells of bodily autonomy to Joel's experiences as a transman. Bonus rec: if you like the general concept of struggling for physical control over one's body with an AI, may I also suggest the (much grittier and gory) movie Upgrade.

The Archive Undying (The Downworld Sequence) by Emma Mieko Candon

In a world where AI gods sometimes lose their minds and take entire populations down with them, Sunai was the only survivor when his god went down. In the 17 years since, he has wandered on his own, unable to either die or age, drowning his sorrows in drink and men. But his attempts to flee his past comes to a stop as he is forced back into the struggle between man and machine. Featuring some pretty wild world building and narrative techniques, this book will definitely confuse you, but it is worth the experience.

Activation Degradation by Marina J. Lostetter

Unit Four comes to life in the middle of a war. The mine it was created to care for is under attack, and as Unit Four is activated with the memories of its predecessors, it is thrown into the task of protecting it at any cost. When the battle leads to its capture, it is prepared to do anything to stop its captors, even as their very presence causes it to question all that it knows.

Sea of Rust by C. Robert Cargill*

Years after the death of the last human at the hands of a robot uprising, Brittle travels the desert searching for machines on the brink of breaking down whose parts she can scavenge. The world is quickly falling apart as a war between OWIs - One World Intelligences - struggle to absorb every robot, willing or not. Bleak and captivating, Sea of Rust features horrible people who you can’t help but root for anyway as they struggle for their lives while questioning the very nature of said lives.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

Hybrid Child by Mariko Ōhara

Japanese 1990s classic. Follows an escaped AI who can take on the form of the people it has consumed.

World Running Down by Al Hess

Follows a powerful AI that has been forced into an android body against its will.

The Thousand Year Beach by Hirotaka Tobi

Set in a virtual world populated by AIs, meant as a resort for human guests who stopped showing up over a thousand years ago, leaving the AIs on their own.

And Shall Machines Surrender by Benjanun Sriduangkaew

Novella. Machines are the gods and rulers of the Dyson sphere Shenzhen, where humans live in luxury and strive to become host bodies for future AIs.

After On by Rob Reid

Phluttr is a social media and a person, potential hero and potential villain, holder of the secrets of all her users.

Annie Bot by Sierra Greer

Annie Bot was designed to be a perfect girlfriend, but as she learns all the more about being human, perfection becomes all the more distant.

Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them:

The Lives of Puppets by T.J. Klune, Machines Like Me by Ian McEwan, Barbary Station by R.E. Stearns, The A.I. Who Loved Me by Alyssa Cole, Medusa Uploaded by Emily Devenport

[dabilove27]

Hi Rach 🥰🥰

Could I request prompt #3 with Madara Uchiha, mayhaps? ❤️

Or honestly write whoever you want for that prompt, with a little dash of angst. I love that prompt so I’m excited to see what you do with it!

Congrats on your follower milestone my love! 💕

Hello lovely Lauren!!!! I am sorry this took me so long! Life and kidney stones completely destroyed my schedule! Thank you so much to @lady-lunaaa for giving this a quick read through!

Link to the masterlist

Warnings: hints of intimate moments, established relationship, pet name “my love” and a hint of angst. Let me know if I missed anything!

At night, the moon shines high and bright, casting its rays through your open window and illuminating Madara's skin. The weight of unspoken words fills the room with an uneasy silence. The two of you lay naked in your bed, the covers half strewn across your bodies.

"I thought you weren't going back," you finally muster up, your mouth dry and throat aching from the noises that had recently escaped you in an intimate moment with the man staring blankly at your ceiling. 

"I wasn't going to, but I must finish what I started. I can't allow this failed experiment to continue any further." Madara’s words drip with contempt.

You release a slight hum of acknowledgment even though there's an ache in your heart. You didn't anticipate developing feelings for the enigmatic man who arrived in town one day, brimming with animosity and rage. After spending a few unrestricted nights together at your home, you witnessed his passion and brilliant mind. He was definitely unlike any previous partner you've had.

Madara shared his aspirations for Konohagakure and how they were shattered when he witnessed his clan being suppressed by the Senjus. While he exudes confidence and cockiness in his ability to combat Hashirama, you feel apprehensive and concerned that the outcome could be fatal.

You wish he would stay by your side and abandon his plans to attack the village, but Madara is resolute. Is it foolish to desire a family to attain happiness with him? If you were to reveal your knowledge about him to others, they would definitely answer in the affirmative. The heart can be fragile when it comes to love, sometimes overlooking the flaws, especially when Madara manages to captivate you so swiftly.

The first time you saw him, he appeared like a shadow in the night. His long, dark hair that glistened in the moonlight. Scars littered the hard planes of his body. There were deep stress lines beneath his dark eyes. All of it drew you in. To put it mildly, he was handsome. 

Despite the logical warning to not pursue this elusive figure, your heart couldn’t resist his beckoning. The thought of him departing and never returning was too painful to bear. So instead of pushing the issue, you let your fingers trace over his toned stomach, following each scar slowly. 

That was your intention, or so you thought. Instead of controlling your emotions, you blurted out selfishly, "But what about me?"

Madara shifts his gaze towards you and carefully observes the anxiety and exasperation visible on your face with his intense, dark eyes. "My love, what about you?" He repeats the question you asked earlier. As he pulls you towards him, his face draws nearer to yours. His lips are against yours for a moment, and you can taste the remnants of you on his tongue. Just a reminder of how close the two of you were just moments ago. 

Madara pulls away from you too quickly and lets out a short growl as he whispers, "For you, my love, I would destroy the world." 

Thanks for reading!

[luckyroll3]

Crimson Lights: Chapter 16

Master List

The days have slipped by without a word from Changbin, a rare occurrence for us. Our phones were constantly buzzing with messages and calls throughout the day since we’ve become friends. But now, it’s Tuesday afternoon and I am feeling a bit anxious that I haven’t heard from him.

After changing out of my work clothes, I sit down to send him a message.

Kay Hey friend. You busy? We should really talk. Can I come up?

Changbin Hey. I’m getting ready for tonight, but sure, we can talk. Come on up.

I’d completely forgotten about his date with Lauren.

Kay Oh right, the date. We can chat another time if it’s inconvenient. There’s no rush.

Changbin No, it’s fine. Come.

Kay Okay. I’ll be there in a sec.

I slip my phone in my pocket then walk to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine before heading up to Binnie’s place.

The elevator doors open onto Changbin’s penthouse. I immediately note that it smells lovely, a light floral scent. I see Changbin in the kitchen and he calls “Hi,” to me over his shoulder. He’s wearing a fitted black t-shirt and dark blue jeans.

I leave my shoes at the entrance before walking over to him. He’s washing his hands in the sink as I give him a hug from behind. “Hey,” I say as I squeeze him tight. “I brought this for your date.” I place the wine on the counter.

“Thanks,” he says as he dries his hands. He picks the bottle up to read the label. “Nice. This will work.” He places the bottle to the side and proceeds to open the take out bags on the counter. He also pulls out some serving dishes.

“So you were serious about the take out, I see,” I say with a smirk, sitting on one of the bar stools. I watch as he transfers the food from to-go containers to ceramic bowls and dishes.

“Dead serious!” He laughs. After a few beats, he asks, “What did you want to talk about?” His tone has shifted.

“The other night….” I hesitate, thinking about some of the awkwardness. “What happened?”

I watch him as he covers each of the dishes, then throws the empty containers away. He rakes a hand through his hair as he leans against the counter facing my direction. “I don’t know. It was….nothing.”

“Binnie….” I start. “It felt weird…and a little tense between us. And we’ve always been super comfortable with each other. I just need for us to clear the air because….”

“Kay,” he interrupts, his eyes locking onto mine with a look that almost makes me squirm. “Tell me honestly,” he says slowly, each word heavy. “If you had met me first, before Chan, do you think things would be different?”

The question hangs in the air. My heart skips a beat as it dawns on me where the awkwardness is stemming from and I realize that I am totally not prepared for this raw honesty.

I take a moment to answer, not wanting to create more tension between us or inadvertently hurt his feelings. "I've honestly never thought about it," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. "But I'm glad to have you both in my life. You’re very important to me, Binnie. You know this. I haven’t had a friend like you in a long time."

His eyes search mine, looking for something I wasn't sure I could give. A flicker of disappointment seems to pass over his features before he masks it with a nod, the corner of his mouth twitching in an attempt at a smile. "Thanks, Kay," he says, the softness returning to his voice for just a moment. "That means a lot." He turns back to cleaning off the counter and the room is silent. I watch as he moves around the kitchen, avoiding my gaze.

He walks back towards the kitchen bar where I’m sitting. “There’s something you don’t know,” he says when he’s standing directly across from me. He presses his hands down onto the counter top between us.

"Okay?" I feel a bit uneasy, unsure what he's about to tell me. I watch him take a deep breath, steeling himself.

"We actually met first," he confesses. "Before you met Chan; before you ever laid eyes on him. It was brief, nothing too memorable, but...”

I blink, stunned. My mind races to recollect that fleeting moment, but it remains elusive. I shake my head. “Really?” I ask.

“Yes. It was about a month before you moved in when you came to view the apartment. I remember seeing you here, in the lobby, looking lost and confused. And then we chatted for a minute or two before the realtor arrived." I vaguely remember that day in the lobby, but it was just one of many viewings of apartments all over the city, during a long and exhausting search over a period of 10 hours. I remember feeling overwhelmed and how a resident in the building had offered a kind smile and a helping hand. He continues, “That night, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I told Chan about you, about the beauty that I hoped was moving into the building.”

He pauses, studying my reaction before continuing. “The day you moved in, Chan saw you from across the parking lot and immediately locked eyes with you. There was an undeniable attraction. He didn't know at that time that you were the same woman I'd mentioned to him. And of course when you two finally met, sparks flew. It was clear you two had… something.” His voice trails off, as if reliving that moment when Chris helped me with my groceries. “So when Chan asked if it would be a problem if he pursued you, I said no. I stepped back." His voice is barely above a whisper now as he admits this. "I thought it was the right thing to do. We hadn't had the same connection, at least not yet. But now, I'm not so sure."

"Changbin..." His name comes out more breath than sound. I try to think about how to follow that up, but all my thoughts are tangling in each other.

He stares at me silently before walking around the bar towards me, a sense of determination in his approach. "Kay," he says as he swivels my stool around to face him. He places his hands on my knees and gently parts my legs so that he can step in between them. He's close enough that I can feel the warmth radiating from him, the faint smell of his sandalwood cologne enveloping me. His face is inches away from mine. "Have you ever thought about me? In that way?" He asks softly, staring into my eyes.

He slides his hands slowly from my knees up my legs, his thumbs gently rubbing along my inner thighs. His hands settle firmly on my hips as he waits for my response. Leaning in close, he places a soft kiss on my collarbone. “I don’t know when it happened,” he whispers against my skin, “but I’ve been hesitant to get too close to you lately. Afraid of what I might do.” I feel the tip of his nose graze the delicate skin along the curve of my neck, tracing a path up to my jawline. His breath is a warm caress against my ear as he asks, “Well?” He pulls away just far enough to search my eyes for an answer.

His proximity sends my senses into overdrive—the heat of his body, the pressure of his fingers gripping into my flesh, the rhythmic rise and fall of his muscular chest, the intensity in his dark eyes, the subtle twitch of muscle along his jaw. This is a side of Changbin I haven’t seen or rather, haven’t noticed; he’s vulnerable and raw. And while I’ve always found him to be very handsome, I now can’t ignore the sensual energy emanating from him. It is intoxicating and I am turned on.

I open my mouth, but no words form. The truth is, I hadn’t allowed myself to go down that path, to consider anything beyond our friendship. Yet, there had been signs that there could be something more between us. And now, here he is, offering me an option I hadn’t considered because I was so consumed by Chris.

The buzz of Changbin’s phone shatters the charged silence between us. He leans closer to my ear. "Think about it," he urges gently, before kissing my earlobe. He returns his gaze to mine and says, "Get back to me."

He steps back and pulls his phone from his pocket. I’m left, perched on the stool, my pulse racing and a storm of ‘what ifs’ brewing beneath the surface. The realization that I harbor feelings for Changbin—feelings I'd never dared to explore before—bubbles up like lava, scorching everything in its path. I unconsciously touch my ear where his kiss lingered.

I watch as he glances at the screen, running his free hand through his hair. “Lauren will be here in a few minutes,” he says as he looks back up at me.

“Right,” I manage to squeak out. I stand up and try not to show how unsteady my legs feel. “I should go.” I start walking towards the elevator.

As I pass him, he grabs my hand. “We’ll continue this conversation later?” he asks hopefully.

“Sure,” I respond. He squeezes my hand and I smile in response. “Have fun tonight.”

“Thanks.” He releases my hand and watches me walk to the elevator. “Bye,” he says.

“Bye,” I call over my shoulder, attempting to sound nonchalant as I put my shoes on and wait for the elevator. I sneak a peek at him as he retrieves the dishes he just prepped from the kitchen and starts to set them out on the table. When the elevator arrives within a few seconds, I punch in the code for Chris’ floor.

My heart is a wild drum solo against my ribs as the elevator rises to Chris’ place. What just happened? I ask myself. And why did it feel like stepping away from Changbin was harder than it should have been?

The elevator doors open to Chris’ penthouse. It’s very quiet. I see Chris sprawled on the couch, his arms over his head, and large Bose headphones on his ears. He’s wearing a white tank top and gray sweatpants. The rise and fall of his chest is steady. The sight pulls at something yearning within me.

He hasn’t heard the elevator arrive or me enter the space. Silently, I close the distance between us. His face, relaxed in sleep, is gorgeous. Without overthinking it, I climb on top of him, straddling his waist. His breathing hitches, a subconscious response to my weight settling onto him.

I lean down to press my lips against his. It’s a kiss meant to stir, to wake, to ignite. I move the headphone off his right ear and whisper into it, “Hey.”

Chris’ eyes flutter open, confusion melting into recognition as they focus on me. A lazy grin spreads across his face as his hands find my hips, anchoring me in place. I note that they are in the same spot Changbin had gripped me minutes before.

“Hey you,” he murmurs, his voice thick with sleep. His dark brown eyes sparkle with a familiar mischief that always promised trouble in the best possible way.

“Thought you could use a more…enjoyable alarm,” I tease, allowing my lips to lay kisses along his jawline.

“Best way to wake-up, ever,” he chuckles, his fingers tightening their grip, encouraging me closer.

I return my lips to his, deepening the kiss. It’s fueled by the sudden intensity of my emotions, still turned on from my interaction with Changbin. Chris responds with equal fervor, our exchange growing more heated by the second. In this moment, it is just Chris and me, and the undeniable connection we share. But beneath the surface, the tremors of what I’d left unsaid with Changbin ripple through me, adding an edge to our passion that tastes suspiciously like desperation. I want to prove that this is where I belong.

The heat of our kisses can’t mask the cool rush of doubt sweeping through me. As my hands caress Chris’ face, his fingers skim along my spine intimately. There’s a slight tremble in my touch, betraying a hesitation that isn’t like me at all.

“Kay?” Chris says through our kisses. I ignore him and stick my tongue down his throat. “Hey…” he says again, this time moving his face slightly to the side to avoid my kissing assault. “What’s going on with you? You’re here, but…not really.”

“Nothing,” I say, kissing his cheek. “I just need you to fuck me.” I see a mask of concern cross his face. Before he can speak again, I return my lips to his with even more force as I move my hands in between our bodies and into his sweatpants to claim what’s mine. He moans into my mouth as my fingers wrap around his cock. I feel it twitch and start to grow hard. I begin to stroke him. In response, one of his hands moves to the back of my neck, pulling me closer. His other hand grips at my leggings and underwear and pulls them down my legs in one quick motion. His hand settles on my bare ass. I keep stroking until his cock is at full attention. I sit up, saying softly, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

I remove his headphones and set them on the side table behind his head. Without a word, he tugs my leggings and underwear the rest of the way off then pulls my shirt over my head. He sits up to kiss my bare stomach. I pull his tank top off. Then he lifts his hips so that I can push his sweats down to reveal his hard dick. He kicks them off the rest of the way. He lays back and watches as I position myself over his cock and slide all the way down.

“Oh fuck,” he moans, arching his back into me. He exhales sharply through gritted teeth as I start moving, slowly as first, then picking up the pace. A small gasp escapes my lips as our bodies collide. His hands move up my back, pulling me back down onto him, allowing his lips to find my neck and begin to suckle and bite. I’m panting now, rocking back and forth on his dick as our hips meet over and over again.

My mind flickers back and forth between Chris and Changbin. It feels like a betrayal to think about someone else while I’m riding Chris. But I can’t ignore that I’m also wondering what Changbin would feel like inside me.

I push that thought from my head and try to focus on the man below me. My man. I lean forward more and press my breasts into his chest trying to get as close to him as I can. I pull his head away from my neck, bringing his face and his pink puffy lips back to mine. Our tongues fight against each other and I savor the familiar taste of him.

As we continue to move, his hand slides down to play with my clit, sending jolts through my entire body. I can’t help but let out a moan against his lips, which Chris responds to by picking up his pace. He begins thrusting upwards, matching my every move.

I try to ignore the lingering thoughts of Changbin and focus on the heat building within me. The tip of Chris’ dick starts to hit the perfect spot over and over again, and my entire body starts to quiver. My breathing grows ragged. Chris’ grip tightens on my hips as he senses my impending climax. Then, just when I think I can’t take it anymore, he shifts his hips and sends me over the edge. My orgasm washes over me like a tidal wave and my vaginal muscles clamp around Chris’ dick.

“Fuuuuuuck…..” he exclaims as he cums inside me.

I collapse against his chest and nuzzle my face in the crook of his neck, trying to catch my breath. I feel his arms wrap around me protectively and squeeze, followed by a kiss to my forehead. He pulls the blanket off the back of the couch and tosses it over our bodies. The two of us lay there silently, wrapped in each other, only the sound of us breathing.

After a few minutes, Chris says softly, “You want to tell me what that was about? And don’t say ‘nothing’.”

I bite down on my lower lip, the taste of him still lingering there. I tilt my head up to meet his gaze. The concern etched into his features coaxes the truth from within me, a truth I hadn’t realized or hadn’t fully admitted to myself until now.

“It’s Changbin,” I start.

“Did you two finally get to talk?” he inquires. “He’s been pretty quiet around me the past few days, which is unusual for him.”

“Yeah. I just came from his place.” I pause before continuing, thinking about how best to phrase this. “He…he has feelings for me, Chris,” I confess, feeling the weight of the words between us.

The air shifts in the room, charged with unspoken thoughts. Chris doesn’t speak immediately; instead, he twirls one of my curls around his finger and nuzzles his cheek against my forehead. His touch grounds me.

“Tell me everything,” he urges, his tone devoid of any judgment, only filled with a desire to understand.

I pour out the details, the way Changbin had looked at me, the intimacy of his touch and kisses on my skin, the longing behind his words, the questions I left unanswered. With each word, I feel the complexity of the situation I now find myself in tightening like a giant knotted rope. “I was caught off guard. I wasn’t expecting…that. I also wasn’t expecting the feelings that rose within me. I was so turned on. I hadn’t realized I’d felt that way about him at all.”

Chris listens, his expression unreadable as he processes my words. I wait for any sign of his own feelings, but he remains quiet.

“I don’t know how to handle this, Chris,” I whisper, suddenly feeling really vulnerable about my confession. I had just told the man I love that I have feelings for someone else; for his brother. In addition to that, Changbin was currently my closest friend and I didn’t want to fuck that up. “I’ve been here before. I’ve told you about Jason. And it didn’t end well.” My mind thinks back to my late 20s, to the time when my former best friend, Jason, and I got drunk one night and had sex. After that, we started an ongoing physical relationship that quickly became a disaster and ended our 8-year friendship. “I can’t let that happen again. And I don’t want to come between the two of you.”

“Changbin’s my family in every way that counts,” he finally says, his voice steady. “But so are you, Kay. We’re building something here, something strong. And it can be whatever we need it to be. I trust you — and him — to navigate this with care. But most importantly, I trust us and what we have together. You don’t have to worry about hurting me.”

His affirmation wraps around me, and I start to feel at ease. He grabs my hand resting on his chest, his fingers tracing idle patterns across the back of my hand. “And Changbin and I will be fine,” he continues.

“Listen, I have no illusions about where I stand in this trio. I know the two of you would choose each other over me….everytime,” I joke, trying to lessen some of the tension in the room.

“As long as you know!” Chris chuckles, bringing my hand to his lips. His tone shifts. “It’s okay to be worried. But don’t let fear stop you from exploring your feelings, whatever they may be. You owe it to yourself, to Changbin, and even to me, to be honest about what’s going on in your heart. And if that means we consider a relationship that includes him too, we’ll figure it out.”

Something in the steadiness of his gaze promises that no matter how unconventional, no matter how complicated, we would find our way through this labyrinth of emotions—together.

I lean up to kiss him. I place my chin on his chest to look into his eyes. “Who are you?” I ask.

“Hmm…who am I?” he responds playfully, questioning my question as a small smirk tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Yes. I get turned on by someone else and come here to fuck you before confessing that I might also have feelings for this other person. And your response is….I don’t know, unexpected.”

“But you came home to me,” he says tenderly. With one swift motion he flips us over so that now he’s on top of me. He places kisses across my neck as he whispers against my skin, “That’s what’s important.” He looks into my eyes. “We navigate this together,” he says as he brings his lips to mine. “We’re a team.”

“I love you,” I whisper to him as his mouth comes to mine again.

[phantomwritezstuff077]

The Runt - Billy the Kid

Warnings for this chapter: child abandonment mention, Laurie's mommy issues, Jesse Evans existance is it's own trigger warning, swearing, violence, underaged drinking, angst, sad Laurie

Chapter Eleven

Early the next morning, Laurie saddled up Artax, mounting him with a small smile as she looked around at the rest of the gang, thanks to Billy, Laurie was able to accompany them on this little trip. Once everyone was ready, they took off on their horses in a gallop. 

Laurie didn’t keep track of how long it took for them to round up the chosen cattle that they were going to steal, cantered alongside Billy, making sure none of the cattle tried to escape through the side as Artax snorted, enjoying this little adventure. It was a beautiful day, the sun was up and shining bright, the sky was a bright blue and the rolling hills looked especially gorgeous today. Once the cattle were all rounded and had calmed down, the gang walked along the trail, Jesse and a few guys trotted ahead while Laurie trailed at the very back, helping make sure none of the cattle strayed behind. She pulled Artax to a stop when they got to the army base that the stolen cattle had been sold to, allowing Bob and John to herd the cows into the corral. Once the cows were inside the pen, the gang quickly left, a lot of the men were very rowdy and cheery about the successful round up.

ⅠⅠⅠⅠ

Later that night, when the sun had left the sky and the world was becoming dark, Jesse returned to camp in a wagon pulled by two black Friesans, tossing booze to the excited gang-members as women exited the wagon, greeting the men with smiles. The young teenager watched from her spot in a tree branch, drawing a picture of Artax.

Laurie wasn’t stupid, she knew what these women were – prostitutes. She never really knew how to feel about them, but all she knew was that when she saw them coming to the camp, she would be in for a very sleepless night listening to the guys have their fun with them. The girl rolled her eyes, however just before she was about to turn her attention back to her drawing, one of the women caught her eye. Laurie recognized hat voice and face and it felt like time froze. 

It was Jennifer.

It was her Ma.

She immediately climbed down from the tree, pushing through the crowd of overexcited men to get to the woman. It had been almost 4 years since she had last seen her mama. And it was so surreal to finally see her again.

“Mama?,” the young teenager asked, following the crowd into the house. The older woman froze upon hearing the child’s voice and she turned around with a shocked look. 

What are the odds of seeing the daughter you abandoned at the camp you were going to be having sex with pretty much every guy there? 

“Lauren?,” Jennifer questioned, looking at the teenager up and down. “You’ve grown.” She did not sound as happy to see Laurie as Laurie was to see her. Laurie was stunned for a moment, trying to figure out why her Ma didn’t sound happy to see her.

“It’s been years,” Laurie said, the happiness in her voice faltering into sadness and disappointment, maybe a little bit of anger, even. “Where have you been all this time, Ma?”

“I’ve been around,” Jennifer replied awkwardly, her tone was somewhat dismissive as she tried to go into the house but Laurie grabbed her arm.

“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?,” Laure pleaded, her voice breaking. “Why did you leave me? Why? I just need to know why? Was I not enough for you?”

Jennifer didn’t answer, she went stiff, staring at her daughter. She had left because she felt like Laurie was nothing but a burden to her. 

“I left because you were doing nothing but cause me unneeded stress,” the woman snapped, yanking her arm away from Laurie. “You’re nothing but a burden to me and everyone else in this camp, Lauren. I don’t know how you even survived this long, but I want nothing to do with you.”

Laurie was frozen to say the least. Tears spilled down her face, poor Laurie didn’t know whether to be angry or heartbroken. She simply left, crying as she climbed her tree again, she sat in the thickest branch, quietly sobbing as she hugged her knees to her chest and rested the back of her head against the trunk of the tree, cursing herself for thinking her reunion with her mama would have been this heartwarming thing filled with happiness and strong emotions.

She hated herself for thinking that that was how the world works. 

Later that night, a few men were outside drinking and having a good time. Laurie hadn’t left the tree since interacting with her Ma. How could she have just left her alone like that? She was only 9 when she left. She wiped her face, turning her attention when she heard the sound of Billy snapping at Bob.

“Shut the fuck up, Olinger,” Billy snarled, fixing his hat as she stood up.

“You don’t tell me what to do, boy,” Bob shot back, taking a swig of his beer. “Now everyone thinks that you’re something special. You ain’t special. And neither is that runt you seem to have made friends with. I ain’t never seen anything special about you, and there ain’t nothing special about the runt either. She’s just another body to bury.”

That last comment really pissed Billy off, especially because he knew how much those kinds of comments affected Laurie, she wasn’t just another body to bury. “All right, then let’s fight it out.” Billy drew his gun from the holster at his waist and Bob groaned, shaking his head.

“I ain’t fighting you with a gun,” Bob said simply, taking another sip of his drink. Billy glared at the man, undoing his gun belt and tossing it to the side. Laurie could tell he was drunk as a skunk right now, which was probably why he was acting more defensive and impulsive than usual.

“Then lets fight with our fucking fists like men,” Billy replied.

Bob smirked as he stood up, also tossing his gun belt to the side as he approached Billy. “I’ll beat your ass any day.”

Jesse and the few other guys that were still awake started cheering for Billy after Bob threw the first punch, decking Billy square in the nose. Laurie slid down from the tree and approached the fight, the tear stains on her face were all too visible but she didn’t care. Billy grabbed Bob, slamming him into a wooden pole a few times before throwing him over the table. Laurie knew better than to intervene in fights like this, so all she could do was watch as the men all cheered in Billy’s favor. The fight continued as they fell into the empty barn where the rest of the guys were going at it with the girls.

Billy had Bob pinned as he threw a few more punches into the man’s face, hitting him hard, making sure he felt the pain nice and clear.

“Get the fuck up, Olinger, get the fuck up. You wanna talk shit and bully a child behind her back?,” Billy hissed, hitting Bob one more time before Jesse went over, breaking up the fight as he held Billy’s arm into the air, smiling as he announced Billy the winner of the fight. Everyone cheered and clapped, all except for Laurie, of course she was happy someone had stood up for her, but when she caught sight of her Ma in bed with one of the guys, she just shook her head and left. 

Billy noticed this ad pulled his arm away and followed the upset teenager outside. He watched as Laurie picked up a random bottle of whiskey, chugging the rest of the contents before throwing it at a tree, smashing it into tiny pieces as she yelled in frustration. The outlaw felt his heart break for the girl, he had never seen her upset like this before. He walked over to her, gently grabbing her shoulders in a firm grip and making her face him, his face was soft and full of worry.

“Laurie, kid, what’s got you so upset?,” he asked, wiping the fresh tears from the young girl’s face.

“Because it turns out my mama left because I'm nothing but a burden to her,” Laurie snapped, hiccuping as tears dripped down her face. “How could I have been so fucking stupid to think she would actually be happy to see me? I mean, who am I kidding? She chose to leave me, and yet I still fucking believed we would have a reunion and…”

Laurie was a mess, she was rambling by now, not making much sense but Billy got the gist of what she was saying and it broke him upon hearing that Laurie found out her Ma wanted nothing to do with her. The outlaw pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back as he tried to soothe the sobbing child in his arms.

God she really is just a kid, a scared and lonely child, he thought to himself as he allowed her to cry on his shoulder. 

Laurie didn’t deserve this, and he knew that.

But did Laurie know that? 

A/N:

I am a part of the Laurie's mother hate club

Laurie deserves better, but will she get that better she deserves? Prolly not idk

Tag:

@slutforsnow

[sequinsmile-x]

Priority

Just this once, on her wedding day of all days, she wanted her mother to put her first.

-x-

Hi friends,

I couldn't tell you where this came from, but here we are. And as always it kind of got away from me!!

I hope you like it <3

-x-

Words: 3.8k

Warnings: Lots and lots of mommy issues

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily never thought she’d get married. 

When she was young, an angry teenager who did her best to push every boundary her mother tried to build around her, it was defiance that made her say it. An outright refusal at the thought of marrying anyone, well aware that it was part of the future Elizabeth envisioned for her, part of the life she desperately didn’t want for herself. The life she wanted to escape. 

The thought of being a bored socialite, of marrying someone that would be deemed acceptable, had been enough to push her to make the decision to lead her to Ian. A man Lauren would have married, but Emily couldn’t. 

Her return to the USA both times after Ian, after he’d loved her and then after he’d killed her, she felt like she’d missed her chance. Any residual defiance from her childhood had long worn off, leaving her with nothing but a simmering of regret. She’s glad she never married just anyone, because she hadn’t wanted that, but she wished she’d found someone to love. Someone she could have spent her life with. For a long time she worried that by trying to not become her mother, by purposely making decisions Elizabeth never would have, she had inadvertently done the opposite. Her career the defining part of her life, filling up her days before she went home to an empty apartment at night. 

And then Aaron happened. 

He’d been there right in front of her for so long that it had taken her aback, the taste of his kiss still against her lips as a breathless laugh escaped her, the final pieces of the puzzle finally falling into place. 

When he asked her to marry him her answer could only ever be yes. They already lived together and had just bought the house they now called home. At first, they said it would be a short engagement, neither of them keen on dragging it out too long, but then Emily realised she was pregnant. Their agreement to ‘just see what happens’ leading to her crying over a positive pregnancy test just a couple of weeks after Aaron proposed. 

She didn’t want to be a pregnant bride, so they’d held off. Something she was grateful for now, the thought of their little girl, Violet, being part of their wedding making her heart sing whenever she thought about it. Life had, as it always did, carried on around them and by the time they finally settled on a date for their wedding Violet was two years old. 

“Em, are you even paying attention?”

She smiles as she looks up from her book at Penelope, raising her eyebrow as she sips her wine, “No,” she replies, smirking as her eyes meet JJ’s, “I said I wouldn’t.” 

The wedding was only four days away, the countdown do it making Emily something close to giddy. A permanent feeling of butterflies in her lower belly that made her smile almost constantly. She was getting married to the love of her life, the father of her children, and she’d never been happier. 

That, however, didn’t mean she’d turned into someone who enjoyed wedding planning. 

Thankfully, Penelope had been more than happy to do that for her. She’d joined forces with Elizabeth and the two of them had organised everything. Emily only had two demands - that she would choose her own dress, and that the wedding would take place in Dave’s backyard. Her mother had originally tried to push back on that part but had eventually relented when Emily wouldn’t budge, intent on having a small, intimate, wedding with their friends and family. 

Penelope insisted on coming around this evening to assemble the wedding favours. They were personalised cookies that she had baked herself, and she had invited herself, and JJ, around to Aaron and Emily’s house so they could individually wrap them for the wedding guests. Aaron was giving Violet her bath before he put her to bed, and Jack was in the dining room helping to wrap the cookies. He was diligently paying attention and helping, urged on by the promise of spare cookies that Penelope had made when she arrived. Emily, on the other hand, had tuned out right around the time Penelope had given them very exact instructions on how to wrap the rust orange ribbon around the top of the cellophane wrapper. 

JJ laughs, “To be fair Pen, she did say she would have no part of it.” 

“And I meant it,” Emily says, making a point of flipping a page in her book, “At least Jack is helping,” she winks at her son who smiles wildly at her, his excitement for the upcoming wedding unending. 

“Aunt Pen said I could have more cookies,” he says, his smile getting wider and Emily hums in response. 

“One more cookie, honey,” she says, having another sip of her wine, “You need to go to bed soon and all that sugar is bad for you.” 

There are footsteps in the hallway, the familiar footfall of the man she was days away from marrying. She turns and smiles at the sight in front of her. Aaron was standing in the dining room doorway with Violet on his hip. The little girl is fresh from her bath, her wet hair pulled back into braids that Aaron had carefully done like he did whenever he was home. She’s wearing bright pink pjyamas covered in unicorns that Penelope had bought her, and Emily knows her fiance would have picked them specifically because her friend was here in their dining room.

“Someone wanted to say goodnight to Mommy,” Aaron says, smiling at Emily as she stands up from her chair. She walks over and Violet immediately reaches out for her, tiny hands clutching at her shirt as Emily takes her into her arms. 

“Goodnight sweet girl,” she says, pressing several kisses in a row to her daughter’s cheek, smiling as Violet giggles, “Mommy loves you.”

Violet presses her face into Emily’s chest and wraps her arms tighter around her neck, “Love Momma!” 

Emily looks up when she hears a barely covered gasp from the dining table and finds Penelope staring at them, her hand over her mouth and her eyes wide with adoration, her previous task of individually packing the wedding favours abandoned. So many of their family moments were private, precious things that she and Aaron held dear, making it rare for the team to see them like this. She knows Penelope particularly loves it, much less subtle in her enjoyment of it than JJ who had simply smiled softly before returning to the task Penelope had assigned her. It makes Emily blush and she turns to look at Aaron, exchanging a small smile with him before she returns her attention to Violet. 

“Daddy is going do bedtime, ok?” She says, kissing Violet once more before handing her back to Aaron, “And he’ll read you two whole stories.” 

Aaron lovingly shakes his head at her, both of them well aware that he’d do whatever the little girl wanted. He’d been wrapped around her finger since the moment she was born, since the moment they found out she existed.

“Can I help read to Lettie?” Jack asks enthusiastically, already up on his feet, “She likes it when I read her Goodnight Moon.” 

Emily smiles and ruffles Jack’s hair as he reaches them, “Of course, honey,” she says, “We’ll keep a cookie for you.” 

Jack beams at her as Penelope and JJ say goodnight to an increasingly sleepy Violet, who waves at them as she rests her head on Aaron’s shoulder. As soon as Aaron are the kids are gone, Emily turns to look at her friends. They both have wide smiles on their faces, delighted at the small insight they’d had into her and Aaron’s private lives.

“Jack loves being a big brother, huh?” JJ asks, sitting back in her chair with her wine in her hand. 

Emily nods as she sits back down, “He loves it,” she replies, her smile wide as she thinks of her children, “He’s so sweet with her.”

“Are you planning on making him a big brother again any time soon?” Penelope asks, her eyebrow raised. Emily chuckles and shakes her head at her friend. 

“We’ll see,” she says, staying purposely vague. She doesn’t tell them that she recently stopped taking her pill again, that she and Aaron had agreed they’d like one more child. It’s not something she wants to share yet, something she might never share at all if it doesn’t happen for them this time, but the hope fizzles in her chest, making warmth spread through her whole body. 

There’s a knock on the front door and Emily frowns, 

“Mother, hi,” she says, stepping back to let Elizabeth in, “This is unexpected, it’s not like you to just drop by.” 

They’d never had a relationship where they got together without it being planned.  It was partly because both their jobs meant it took a certain amount of strategy to align their calendar, but mostly it was because Emily always felt as if she needed to prepare herself to see her mother. She needed to put her armour back on, pieces of protection Aaron and the kids had all but made obsolete, so she could hold herself together. She found herself prone to regressing around her mother, just one evening together enough to make her regress. Irritation and frustration bubbling under her skin that never failed to make her feel like a teenager again, not the grown woman she was.

Elizabeth smiles politely as she walks in, “I’m not interrupting anything I hope?”

“It’s okay, we’re just doing wedding prep,” she says, closing the door behind Elizabeth and they walk towards the dining room together, both of them coming to a stop when they get to the doorway. JJ and Penelope look up at them and smile, “Mother, you remember JJ and Penelope,” she says, feeling concern spark in her stomach that she doesn’t understand, “They were there when I picked out the dress for the wedding.”  

“Of course,” Elizabeth replies, smiling tightly, “Lovely to see you both again.” Emily sees something she can’t name flash across her mother’s face and it makes her falter. She clears her throat, grateful that her voice doesn’t falter as she speaks. 

“Is everything okay?” 

Elizabeth turns to look at her, her smile tight, “Can we talk privately?” 

Emily frowns, concern and confusion bubbling in her belly, “Yeah, of course, we’ll go to the home office,” She looks up at JJ and Penelope, “When Aaron comes back can you just tell him where I am?” 

She turns back to her mother when her friends nod and she leads her further back into the house. She keeps glancing at her as they walk, watching curiously as Elizabeth looks at the family photos adorning the walls, her eyes fixed on frozen moments from Aaron and Emily’s lives. A museum of memories that Emily loved to look at on the nights when she couldn’t sleep, well-needed reminders of what she had now, the life she had made for herself, when the monsters from her past dragged themselves out of the shadows and into her dreams. 

As soon as they are in the office Emily closes the door behind them, “Okay, we’re alone. What’s going on?” 

Elizabeth clears her throat as she looks Emily up and down, “It’s about Saturday-”

“Oh, god, Mother. If this is about Vi being the wedding again it’s non-negotiable,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. It had been one of the main arguments they’d had about the wedding. Elizabeth had said she thought giving Violet the role of Flower Girl would be a distraction, that the toddler wouldn’t be able to focus for the entire ceremony and would end up being a distraction. 

Emily made it clear that she didn’t care if Violet ran up and down the aisle the whole time, or if she played with her toys all the way through the ceremony, she was her daughter and she was going to be a part of it. 

“No, it’s not that,” Elizabeth says, pausing a moment before she carries on, “I have to go to Saudi Arabia.” 

Emily feels her whole body freeze and she narrows her eyes slightly, the reality of what her mother was trying to tell her slowly sinking in. “When are you flying?” 

Elizabeth sighs, “Emily, don’t be purposely dense.”

“You have to say it,” Emily says, shaking her head, her nails digging into her own bicep as she clenches her jaw, “If you’re trying to tell me you’re going to miss my wedding you have to say it. You can’t just talk around it.” 

There’s a moment of silence between them, the air around them thick with tension, with all the things they had never said. 

“I’m flying on Friday. I won’t be able to make it on Saturday.” 

Even though she knew it was coming it still hurts. It still makes her breath catch in her chest, painfully bitter and familiar disappointment burning in her throat. She huffs out a humourless chuckle and shakes her head. 

“Are you kidding me? You couldn’t say that your daughter is getting married on Saturday?” She asks. It’s anger, not sadness, that makes her voice shake. Fury at her mother, at herself for expecting that just this once she would come first. 

“The Crown Prince asked for me personally,” Elizabeth responds, an edge to her voice that reminds Emily of when she was a child, the days when her mother would scold her for wanting nothing more than her attention, “I have to go.” 

Emily scoffs and shakes her head. She feels emotions she doesn’t want to let out start to climb up her throat. Her heartbeat loud in her ears as tears burn in the back of her eyes. 

“Mom…I’m getting married.”

“Emily, please. You’re getting married in someone's backyard,” Elizabeth says, “You  haven’t even invited anyone we know.”

“I haven’t invited anyone you know,” she corrects, “All the people I care about will be there.” Her words hang heavily around them, and she feels an odd sense of achievement when her mother dares to look hurt by what she’s said, “I’m your only kid,” she says, huffing out a defeated laugh as she shrugs her shoulders, “I’m sure if you told them-”

“My job is important-” 

“I’m important,” Emily yells, cutting over her mother before she can carry on, before she can say everything Emily had heard countless times before, “I’m important,” she repeats, shaking her head, “It’s my wedding day. The day I’m marrying the man I love. Why don’t you want to be there?” 

“You know if I could be there-”

A lifetime of quiet disappointment, of pushing down everything she has always wanted to say, ends in a single moment. Fury fueling the fire that had been burning in her belly since they’d stepped into the office. She’d always struggled with her mother’s choices, how no matter what she’d come second, but when she became a mother herself, from the moment she stepped into a maternal role for Jack, it had turned into anger. Emily had always found putting her children first easy, something she did without thinking. She’d changed jobs when she returned from her maternity leave, determined to make sure she made different choices than her own mother had. It made it clearer than ever how much her mother had actively chosen her job, her reputation, over her for her whole life. 

And she was done pretending it was anywhere near to being okay. 

“If you wanted to be there you would,” Emily says, cutting her off, her entire body tense, “If you wanted to put me first you would,” she shakes her head and furiously wipes away the one tear that falls from her lashline, “But you don’t. I’ll never come first to you. And…maybe it’s my fault for continuing to expect that one day I will.” 

“Emily-”

“Can you go please?” She asks, feeling as if she is on edge of breaking down, well aware that her defences are crumbling around her. She turns so her back is facing her mother, not wanting her to see the anger dissolve into sadness, “We’ll see you when you get back from Saudi Arabia. You can see the photos then.” 

There’s a part of Emily, the part of her that she knows will never give up hoping, that wants her mother to tell her she’s changed her mind. That she’s sorry and she’ll be there on Saturday as planned, complaining about the chicken she’d insisted they served. For a second, she thinks it’s going to happen, the silence in the room cloying as she struggles to suck in a breath, desperately trying to replace the grief for a relationship that had never truly existed that had settled in her lungs. 

Then she heard the door open and close in quick succession. The sound followed by her mother’s footsteps subsiding as she gets further away from the office. 

She chokes on a noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh, her hand over her mouth as she tries to capture it. She’s barely alone a second when the door opens again, and she turns to see Aaron standing there, his brow furrowed in concern.

“Sweetheart, is everything okay?” He asks as he pulls the door closed behind him. He walks over to her, his hands immediately resting on her hips, “I just got downstairs from putting Vi to bed and I walked into your Mother-”

“She’s not coming to the wedding.” She says, her lower lip trembling as she says it outloud, as she truly acknowledges what had just happened. Aaron cups her cheek and makes her look up at him, his thumb catching a tear as it slips down her cheek.

“What?” He asks, his voice stern, his hold on her getting tighter. 

“She has work. A last-minute assignment that apparently couldn’t wait another day,” she says bitterly. Her eyes meet his and she breaks, the unrelenting love for her shining in his eyes enough to tip her over the edge. “My mom isn’t coming to my wedding, Aaron.” 

He pulls her into a fierce hug, his arms banding tightly around her back as she grasps handfuls of his shirt. Anchoring herself to him, her guiding light on a dark day.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he says, kissing the top of her head, “I’ve got you,” he runs his hands up and down her back, “I’m sorry.” 

She presses her face into his neck, “Why can’t she just…be what I want? Just this once.” 

“I don’t know, baby,” he says, kissing her temple before he encourages her to look at him, his hand on her cheek, “I do know you deserve better though,” he smiles encouragingly at her, “Want me to get JJ and Pen out of here?” 

She nods, “Yes please, I just…I don’t want to see anyone other than you. And the kids.” 

Aaron smiles and leans forward to kiss her forehead, “You wait here,” he says, kissing her once before stepping back, “I keep the good scotch from Dave in the cabinet behind the desk.” 

She smiles, “Okay, honey,” she says, watching as he goes, “I love you.” 

He turns back to look at her, his smile, the one both of their children had, shining back at her, “I love you too.” 

___

There’s a moment on her wedding day as she’s waiting to walk down the aisle, nerves dancing in her belly as she watches JJ and Penelope walk down ahead of her, when she misses her mother. Her absence notable as she realises she has no one to check her over, to make sure her hair is sitting correctly. It’s over as quickly as it starts and she shakes it off, not wanting her mother to upset her anymore than she already had. 

As soon as she starts walking down the aisle, all eyes fixed on her, she feels nothing but joy when her gaze meets Aaron’s. He’s smiling widely at her, tears shining in his eyes, and she can see her home in them. The place where she’d finally found the love she’d always been looking for. Jack is standing next to him, proud to be his father’s best man, in a matching suit, his own joy as clear as the smile on his face.

“Momma!”

She looks down just in time to see Violet running towards her, the little girl quickly and easily escaping Penelope’s attempt to catch her. Emily chuckles and stands still, smiling at Violet, whose tiny white dress is covered in embroidered flowers, as she makes it to her side. 

“Hi sweet girl,” Emily says, crouching down to look at her.

“Momma pretty!”

Emily hears a series of exclamations around them, the guests clearly finding this as adorable as she did, and she’s vaguely aware of the flashes of cameras going off around them. 

“Thank you, baby,” she says, reaching out and playing with one of her curls, “You’re very pretty too,” she looks up and sees Aaron take a step towards them, clearly intent on getting Violet, and she gently shakes her head, “Want to hold my hand as we go see Daddy?” 

Violet shakes her head, her tiny hand on Emily’s lace-covered knee, “Momma up.” 

She smiles and nods, well aware this wasn’t the time or place to try and argue with her toddler about whether she could carry her or not. She adjusts her hold on her flowers, grateful that she’d gone for a small bouquet of wildflowers, and reaches out for Violet. The little girl lifts her arms so Emily can pick her up and she stands up straight, settling her on her hip. 

“Come on sweet girl,” she says, adjusting her hold on her before she restarts her journey down the aisle. If she’d thought Aaron looked happy before, it was nothing on how he looked now, his arm around Jack as he held him to his side. 

She’s aware of everyone looking at her again, and can hear the sniffs as they try to cry quietly, but she doesn’t care about any of it. All she can think of is her family, the one she had built around her. 

The only one she needed. 

She smiles at Aaron as she makes it to his side, turning behind her to pass her bouquet to JJ, before she reaches out for his hand. 

“Hi,” she whispers, her voice cracking. 

“Hi,” he replies, leaning in to press a kiss to her cheek before he smiles at Violet, tickling her belly to make her giggle, “Looks like you have the world's cutest bouquet.” Emily nods, adjusting her hold on their daughter and gripping his hand even tighter.

“Are you ready?” The officiant says, smiling expectantly at them both. They look at each other and smile before they turn back to her.

“Yes, we’re ready.” 

She’d never been more ready for anything. 

-x-

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[crimsonlyinglilly]

Day 27 “Or what?”                                       

| Defiance | Display | Last Resort |

Still with Caged Founder and another day for @juneofdoom

Elijah deals with the aftermath of Finn's visit and his choice

Follows directedly on from Guilt and Failure

---

“Goodbye brother.”

He waited until he heard the elevator doors shut before he acted, pushing himself from his chair.

It's not hard to get Tristan on his knees, after decades he had learnt all the boundaries of the ritual, learnt just when it would stop him, a slight shift to set Tristan off balance and let gravity do the rest.

Elijah had learned to take control back in ways that weren't just Tristan giving it to him.

Much like switching the chains they use in bed to those that could keep Elijah contained and leaving Tristan chained to the bed for days, far easier to get away with since the three of them now resided away from headquarters, they had all had a choice in the regency townhouse which Elijah preferred walking back to each evening.

The city was busy, it was alive and after decades shut away in the french countryside it was freeing seeing people go about their lives.

He's almost sure he found a way to kill those of his sireline he just hadn't tried it yet, first it was due to his own caution, not wanting to risk his one ace until he was sure it would lead to an escape, then he had been too shattered to think to use it, now it was due to most the time not wanting them dead, although Tristan found ways to push it.

Like today, he wasn't truly surprised Tristan possessiveness came out, after ninety years of keeping him from his family, any of the, returning was a threat to him.

Still didn't mean he enjoyed having to sit through Tristan’s little display and allowed himself to be pawed at in front of his brother, in front of Finn, like his older brother needed another reason to look down on him.

Besides the angrier he made himself seem the less likely Tristan would look into it.

“Tell me if that was Klaus who visited, would you have decided we needed to have sex on my desk to show off.” He asked sharply as Tristan stayed on his knees

“No,” Tristan answered, sitting back to look up at him “I'd have called Aurora, I promised she'd get to be the one to show our relationship off to him.” Tristan confessed making Elijah freeze and look at him in shock.

“You discussed this?” he said in surprise, his planned lecture vanishing.

“Never really needed to, Rory’s been planning to repay the pair of you since we recovered ourselves. They’re changed but would you deny her revenge?” Tristan asked

Elijah gritted his teeth, revenge against him was fine, he had done something to deserve it, Klaus was as much a victim to that cruelty as Aurora was.

“She'll be disappointed to learn Finn will tell them.” he said instead of his thoughts

“Doubt it, Finn's not going to say a thing.”

“True, he doesn't care.” He sighed

Tristan sent him an almost pitying smile that made Elijah wish he could throttle him.

Finn had offered an escape. All he had to do was keep the Strix from interfering, he could keep acting normal, distract Tristan.

There was an end in sight.

He pulled out a gold letter opener, one of if his golden chain links he had reshaped out of boredom and spite in the first few months of his captivity, nearly a century ago now and the thought almost makes his heart jump in panic, one century how many more-

No, he had an escape now. He ignored the very childish ‘Finn promised’ that echoed around his mind. It had been too long since he had a sibling touch his mind; it had stirred up old feelings that was all.

“Blood for blood.” He told Tristan as he presented the dagger. 

He smiled when he noticed the recognition in Tristan's eyes as he saw which blade it was, Elijah had had it enchanted twenty years ago by Lauren, one of The Sisters, wounds caused by it healed slowly, ignoring Supernatural healing. Even on ancient vampires like Tristan, it would cause a simple cut to last over a day before the power faded and it healed.

“You volunteer that'' Tristan's argued changing it to “there was barely any.” when Elijah said nothing but raised an eyebrow, which was true but besides the point, Tristan had bitten his lip with inhuman fangs just to prove a point to Finn, to show off Elijah's helplessness.

Tristan had made the deal situations where Tristan acted without thinking and Elijah paid for it; much like when Tristan had torn his heart the second time because simply seeing Lucien had wounded him up and he unthinkingly took that out on Elijah.

“My lord Tristan, not keeping his word.” he called mockingly sweet.

Wasn't it a delight, for Tristan to be even more tried to his word, half noble upbringing and half the need to prove himself better than Elijah.

Elijah knew for all his reputation he worded his deals carefully to give him a loophole and when trapped would break them for his family.

He wasn’t truly hungry, even with the blood he had given to Finn, Tristan had made sure he always had blood unless he was being spiteful and found a reason to ‘punish’ him.

But Tristan hated pain, even after centuries he never learned to take it and since Elijah couldn’t simply bite him, Tristan had to do it himself.

He had been strangely insistent on creating a balance in their relationship, to be more equal.

Ridiculous and completely Aurora’s fault, there could be no balance since Tristan had stipped him of his ability to defend himself.

The moments of contentment and joy that had been growing more common were temporary.

The fact that Tristan had stopped and never mentioned electrocution after the one time Elijah had said stop, didn't matter.

Neither did the fact Tristan had let Elijah spend months away from him and the manor, when the Martel siblings tried ECT to treat Aurora's mind and Elijah had voiced his discomfort at the after effects.

Not alone, Elijah still needed guards even on the missions for the Strix to deal with werewolves; they couldn't leave their founder unprotected after they stopped him from being able to completely protect himself.

“Does my treasured Sire have a request where?” Tristan's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Diagonal, across your dominant arm’s forearm.” he answered thoughtlessly, Tristan’s words settling in his mind to remind him ’treasured’ like a hard won prize not a person

Aurora’s dreams of a happily ever after were just that dreams, it was more proof that Elijah was losing it that he kept letting himself forget that.

Finn’s return, news of mother’s plan was perfect timing before he let himself fall too far.

In a way he should thank Tristan, the possessive show and humiliation just made this choice easier, a reminder that he could so easily return to being a prop and tool.

“I’m cutting my hair.” he announced suddenly as Tristan started to stand from his knees

“No.” Tristan replied quickly looking at him with confusion.

“Or what?” Elijah asked as a hint of honest curiosity in his tone, there was a lot Tristan had used over the years;

Returning him to his first cell, leaving him there in the dark, but he hadn’t done that in decades.

Leaving him chained to the wall, which was how Elijah had first found his way into Tristan’s bed, even his first sired smugness was better than the wall after a while.

Plain torture which Tristan has alway excelled in even if it had never worked on Elijah the way he hoped, pain was just pain after all and Elijah was familiar with pain.

Starvation, which just got more effective since he had started teaching the human recruits and taking responsibility for the Sisters young foundlings forcing him to turn them away for their own safety from him.

While Tristan overt control had faded a lot over the years, he knows Tristan likes his hair long.

Tristan scowled at him.

“Fine.” he gave in, pouting but seemingly letting it go

He blinked at Tristan, that was- not entirely unexpected he found, but before he started thinking to much about it, about how much Tristan had changed over the years, how much Elijah had managed to regain. 

It didn’t matter, so what if Tristan trusted him or was trying to let them be equal, if he meant it when he claimed that having Elijah wasn’t just revenge or for power.

Elijah couldn’t live like this anymore, and he couldn’t let himself hope there was anything better.