#legit couple goals right there

[megahra]

Hercules and Megara sacrificing themselves for each other

[coco-loco-nut]

Iconic

pairing: Oscar Piastri x reader

summary: you make it your life goal to embarrass Oscar and annoy him, keeping things fun in his life

masterlist

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“He’s so cute,” a girl sighs in the McLaren fan zone.

“He really is,” you smile, leaning against the barrier.

“Oh my god, hi!” the girl gasps, recognizing you from your boyfriend’s Instagram. You haven’t had social media since you were cyber bullied in middle school, so you were a mystery to his fans. It also let you go to fan zone and have fun with them. You also run a fan page for Oscar on Instagram.

“Hi, I hope you don’t mind that I am standing here?” you say, holding a folded poster in one of your hand and an arm full of friendship bracelets that Oscar helped you make.

“Not at all, oh my god. Sorry, it’s just that you are so iconic,” the girl says and you quirk your eyebrow.

“How so?”

“You don’t have social media which is iconic, but all the fans know how nice you are, and you are always hanging out with us here,” one of her friends say, you nod along.

“Of course I would be here, I gotta support Papaya boys,” you smile. “Wanna help me embarrass Osc?” you ask the group around you.

“It would legit be our honor,” the one laughs, you laugh with her.

“Here,” you take off some friendship bracelets and exchange them with the girls.

“You are the best WAG,” another girl says and you blush a little, dutifully putting on each bracelet.

“I really do try. I even run a fan account for Osc,” you laugh, not revealing more than that.

“No way, that’s actually icon behavior,” the first girl says and you grin.

“Want to see the sign?” you ask, excited to show your latest sign off. Oscar tried to look but you refused to even work on it until he left the hotel.

“Yes!” you are quick to unfold the sign. Your neat handwriting carefully placed each letter just large enough so Oscar could read it.

“Omg, I can’t wait to see his reaction,” one of the fans say, the area is brimming full now, ready for the drivers to come out in a couple minutes.

“Make sure you get pictures of his reaction, he’s so cute when he’s embarrassed,” you giggle, getting ready to hold the sign in front of you as Lando walk onto the stage, excited to see what you wrote this time. He reads it and laughs, turning towards where Oscar is entering. You watch his brows furrow as he reads it. Oscar- I want to eat you up like a pastry :). The Australian’s face turns bright red as he laughs and winks at you, trying to hide his awkward embarrassment at the pickup line. It wasn’t your best, but it was the perfect amount of cringe. Lando gives you a thumbs up from the stage.

“You were right, his face was priceless,” the fan says as you watch Oscar push back his mousy brown hair before putting the hat back on. You swear you might be drooling while watching him, but you catch his gaze falling on you too.

“I LOVE YOU OSCAR!” you yell as he waves goodbye to the fans, giving you a wink. You make sure all of your friendship bracelets are given away before thanking the fans for being cool about you chilling with them. You head back to the paddock, scanning your pass, and beelining to the McLaren motorhome.

“Y/n, can I have that sign?” Lando asks and you happily hand it over.

“As long as you don’t use it to steal my man, have at it,” you chuckle as the Brit hugs you in thanks before walking away.

“Eat me like a pastry?” Oscar gives you an amused smile. “You do know my parents watch that, right?” His favorite thing about you his your playfulness, you can be serious when needed, but your teasing and jests keep his life fun.

“Oh, I know, your mom helped me with that one, the fans loved it too,” you laugh. “You did look so hot up there,” you slightly exaggerate checking him out.

“Why don’t we go back to my drivers room and you show me how you’d like to eat me?” Oscar whispers in your ear, trying to seduce you, but you resist.

“Oh, I’d probably start with the thighs, best muscle to fat ratio in my opinion. Hm, now I’m kinda hungry, what is in hospitality?” you ask, moving towards the food area. Oscar wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you back towards him as he picks you up to carry you to his room.

“Nope, don’t start things you can’t finish,” he says, clearly a little hot and bothered.

“Osc, I’m not a cannibal, I don’t actually eat humans,” you tease, not giving up on what you started. Oscar clearly had a different interpretation, maybe the right one, maybe not.

“Shut up before I make you shut up,” Oscar growls in your ear, quickly turning you on and making you drop the joke.

“Yes, Mister Piastri,” you say, knowing it’s affect on him as he drags you into his room, locking the door behind him. Oscar was a couple minutes late to his meeting, Lando holding back giggles as Oscar walks into the room.

“I see the fans aren’t the only ones who love Y/n,” Lando whispers to Oscar, who shoots him a glare. Meanwhile, you scroll Instagram using your fan page, laughing as some of them post the pic of you and the sign, the comments calling on your to reveal yourself via the fan page. You make a post about it as well just to blend in, thirsting over Oscar as well. You can’t imagine if he ever finds out about the account.

“Good luck, Osc. Drive safe,” you kiss him before he puts his helmet on.

“I am always safe,” he gives you his usual awkward smile, you smile back as he puts his helmet on. He squeezes your hand before walking over to the car. You take a seat in the garage, the headphones unflattering as always.

Your stomach drops as there is a crash late in the race, but you are instantly relieved when you realize that Oscar made in through and no one was hurt. He ends up in P2 for the race and you join the team in celebrating at the podium.

“Thank you for being my number one fan, even when you run a secret fan account,” Oscar hugs you in his drivers room.

“How? What?” you play if off but he just laughs, pulling out his phone.

“My private account follows you,” oscar laughs, and you just stare at him.

“That’s actually you? I thought it was a fan,” you quickly pull out your phone and request to follow his account, which he immediately accepts so that you can see all the cute posts he makes about you.

“Stop, Osc, you’re basically running a fan account for me,” you say, admiring his posts, including one from today of you holding the sign. You quickly type a comment that has the other drivers replying like crazy claiming that they found your secret account.

“You two decent?” Mark Weber’s voice says through the door, after a confirmation from Oscar, he lets himself in.

“Why wouldn’t we be decent, Mark?” you ask from the couch.

“I used to be a driver too, and after your fan zone sign nothing is off the table,” Mark shrugs causing you and Oscar to blush. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you great race, I will see you in a few days,” Mark tells Oscar before leaving the room again. You still aren’t sure how Oscar was able to bag the former F1 driver as his manager. Oscar yawns and you notice how tired he is, sleepy Oscar is your favorite version of Oscar.

“Alright, let’s get you back to the hotel, first loser,” you tease, helping him gather his things to leave.

“Hey,” he groans at the jab.

“You could be Lando NoWins, my love,” turning your jests onto his teammate.

“That is true,” Oscar yawns, holding your hand as he leads you to his chauffeured car.

“Osc, would you marry me if I was a worm?”

“Who said I’d marry you at all?”

“Alright, that’s it, I’m deleting your fan page,” you pull out your phone. Oscar basically tackles you in the back seat as he lunges for the phone.

“I take it back, I’ll marry you right now if you want,” Oscar pleads.

“Who said I wanted to marry you? Do I look like a worm?” you retort, putting your phone away. Oscar just sighs in defeat.

“God gives is strongest people his greatest challenges, I’m not strong enough for this,” he groans a few seconds later, the tiredness setting in.

“Sorry, baby, I promise you will get unlimited cuddles when we get back to the room,” you smile softly, holding his hand tight.

“I love you,” he whispers, his beautiful brown eyes gazing into your eyes.

“I love you too.”

[syzthefrizz]

Tips for writing dream sequences (from someone who has really vivid, weird dreams on a frequent basis)

My biggest pet peeve with fictional dream sequences is that they make too much sense!! They're too relevant! There's not enough random crazy stuff! That's not always unrealistic per se, but you are missing out on some of the fun ways you can reveal information about your character's mindset, fears, struggles, and future.

Most of my dreams have a goal or objective driving the plot, and it's usually urgent. Ex. "escape the huge storm on the horizon", "find a place to sleep for the night in an unfamiliar town", "find a bathroom". This is especially true of stress dreams.

Everything going on in the dream makes perfect sense to you during the dream. It doesn't feel like reality per se, but you think it is. You're living in a house full of vampires that could eat you at any moment? Seems legit.

Emotions and situations from the dreamer's life can/will find their way into dreams, with varying levels of subtlety. The dream could be about the stressful event itself, or it could be some sort of exaggerated metaphor. Ex. I was worried about whether I was a competent CS major while I was still trying to find a summer job/internship, and I was worried about what my professors must think of me. Such a good student on paper, still without summer plans. I dreamed that I ran into my professors all having lunch together at a restaurant (during a dream with a completely different storyline), and I was wearing my pajamas. They judged me.

Certain things are very hard to do in dreams. This could vary from person to person. For me, it's always driving (the brakes never work right), flying (I can't stay off the ground for very long), and running (it's like trying to run through waist-deep water).

People with PTSD may dream about the traumatic event happening differently than it actually happened. (Take this one with a grain of salt - I don't suffer from PTSD, I just research it sometimes so my blorbos can suffer accurately).

You can have a string of loosely connected or disconnected dream sequences back to back, each with an entirely different plot, setting, etc.

People can have reoccurring themes or plotlines in their dreams, which are often connected to their lives/psyche somehow. I frequently dream about running away from tornadoes and being in situations where there's some catastrophe coming but I'm the only one who understands that there's a problem and nobody will listen to me.

It's common for me to have a dream setting that I KNOW is someplace I'm familiar with, but it doesn't actually look like that place at all. Ex. "I dreamed that we were at my house, but it didn't look like my house..."

Dreams can end in cliffhangers. Sometimes I wake up right before I'm about to eat something delicious.

Sometimes people have dreams about doing things that they would never, ever do in real life, and they wake up feeling disgusted. This is Not a manifestation of their secret desires (*glares at Freud*).

Images are the most memorable parts of dreams. I forget the specific plot points, but I can still picture dozens of liminal spaces my brain has created, even years after I dreamed about it.

Dreams will fade from memory very quickly unless the dream had a strong impression on you, you write details about it down or you tell someone about it before you forget.

If you realize you're dreaming during your dream, sometimes you can control the dream going forward. This is called lucid dreaming. I've done it accidentally a couple times, and it's really hard to "hold on" to the dream and control it. I usually wake up soon after starting. With practice, you can get better at it.

Sometimes a normal/good dream can turn into a nightmare, and vice versa. Most of my dreams aren't really good or bad, they're something in between.

Your subconscious brain is CRAZY intuitive. We can argue over the existence of prophetic dreams (I've heard so many crazy stories), but at the end of the day, your subconscious brain knows things that you don't consciously know. If your character is in love with someone, their subconscious brain will know even if the character doesn't. Relationship problems? Deepest darkest fears and insecurities? Your brain knows. A dream predicted the downfall of my first relationship eight months before it happened, down to the reason why we failed. You can absolutely foreshadow this way. A character might subconsciously know what the consequences of their or other people's actions will be, understand things about the situation they're in, know things about the people they're interacting with, and more, despite their conscious realizations.

There are plenty of ways to make a dream sequence relevant to your story, but don't forget to add in some fun, random details. Character A is secretly in love with Character B? Have Character A dream about Character B confessing feelings to them while in a Vine Nostalgia themed restaurant over a plate of mac-n-cheese. The details are the fun part, and you can get as weird as you want. I once ran into my aunt in a dream, and she was wearing a backpack with a bunch of (fake?) hands sticking out of it, making a fan that rose above her back behind her head like some sort of peacock feather costume piece. I was so freaked out that I woke up. I dare you to get weirder than that.

Not everyone's brain works the same way. I have vivid, random, detailed, memorable dreams on a frequent basis. When I describe them to people they often ask "what were you on?". My roommate only remembers her dreams when they're nightmares. I have some friends who say they don't dream. Other friends have really boring, mundane dreams about their normal lives. Some people have weird dreams but only once in a blue moon. It's a good idea to decide off the bat what kinds of dreams your character has, and how often they remember them.

That's it for now, but I might make a part two if I think of more things to add. Feel free to reblog with your own personal dream expertise!

[cloveroctobers]

JEY USO x BLACK! READER — Spring Writings 🩵

A/N: I took a stab at writing for roman and now here I am doing the same for jey? Except this one isn’t strongly plot based…Wish me luck! I’m new to the scene so I apologize if this isn’t in his character…But I think I got it? We’ll see 😆

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using:  “did you seriously use the last of the milk for this?” “i thought it would taste good!” +  “well i put it on the grocery list!” “i didn’t think i needed the list!” “you clearly did!!” +  “i can’t find the remote.” “i’m actually going to kill you.” 1. “But look, this is on sale!”

WARNINGS: language + just doing typical bickering couple things.

☀︎༄·❅☘︎ ☀︎༄·❅☘︎ ☀︎༄·❅☘︎ ☀︎༄·❅☘︎ ☀︎༄·❅☘︎ ☀︎

In the near future, you wanted to advocate for detaching your head (not on some Black mirror type shit, although you knew there was a 70% chance that it could go that route) and leaving it to get any protective style for yourself, sisters, brothers, and non-binaries while you went about your business before you came back to collect your freshly did head. You originally wanted to go in with some straight backs with the water wave left out towards the ends but switched to boho locs last minute.

Thankfully you had that type of relationship with your stylist so she didn’t mind much.

You were always down to try something new and been contemplating getting some locs after a few of your family members been on their journey for years now. Tending to your head nearly everyday was a hassle especially as a routine to go into the world and work. Hair had a mind of its own and it didn’t need to be explained, if you know, you know.

The last thirty minutes of your appointment, you were reaching out to your husband to see what was on the menu at home or if you needed to pick something up. The snacks your go to girl provided only held up for so long and when Jey told you that he had a taste for Kopai, basically hinting that would be for lunch or dinner—when Jey threw down he made enough for both occasions—you sat up a bit in the driver’s seat, one hand on the wheel, while you floated through the streets to get back home.

When you unlocked the white security gate to the bright russet orange home (Jey picked the exterior color and you weren’t crazy about it but at least it stood out from the other homes, which was his main goal), you were already hit with a whiff of spices, thanks to the breezy San Francisco spring air and found the petal pink front door wide open. Which made you quirk up a brow but you were too famished to think too hard about it as you quickly made your way through the small entry way into the master bedroom to toss your things onto the bed.

You sighed with a shake of your head as you made your way up the stairs, hearing Jey listening to Kendrick’s disses on loop again but you also ignored that as you made your way to the right where the kitchen and living room sat. Sneaking behind the man on your toes like swiper, you slapped a hand and squeezed his backside in greeting while Jey legit yelped and yanked himself away.

Grinning at him innocently you say, “why are your clappers clenched?”

Jey sucked his teeth while you attempted to hide your laughter, “yo, what I tell you about doing that man? That’s my job to do to you, not other way around.”

“I thought we believed in equality in this house?” You placed your hands on your hips while Jey just huffed.

You moved towards the stove, where Jey was hovering over. The soup pot was there, steaming but the aroma wasn’t giving Kopai. While jey was distracted on his phone again, mumbling to himself and nodding his head—possibly the lyrics—you snatched up a spoon to dip into the pot.

Wincing against the temperature on your tongue, you managed to get the food down after chewing and sucking air into your mouth. That was enough to get Jey’s attention as he looked at you with a straight face, annoyed that you went and sampled.

“This is not giving dumpling…where are the dumplings?” You managed to get out after your last chew.

Jey folded his muscular arms honestly replying, “that’s because there isn’t any.”

“Huh? But it’s Samoan Sunday.” Which meant each Sunday included something from Jey’s culture, sometimes combined with soul food, depending on what y’all were in the mood for.

Jey lifted his chin, “turns out it’s a whatever’s in the fridge day. That you just rudely sampled behind my back without giving me any proper love by the way, it’s spicy chicken and rice chowder.”

Scrunching up your face, you popped your tongue in distaste at the aftermath. Now that you knew what it was, it could explain this foul after taste because something wasn’t adding up.

“Joshua.”

“Oh here you go,” Jey threw his hands up in the air, “If I wanted another food critic, I’d just call your damn father.”

Your father has his own successful restaurant here in California and back up North where you were originally from. Majority of the time if your family was over, Jey did everything in his power not to be the one who was solely on food duty because your father was very critical especially when it came to food.

That’s that Virgo shit.

“Chowder includes milk right?” You didn’t get the culinary trait but you watched enough cooking competitions and attended plenty to know the basics. You weren’t the biggest fan of seafood, although that was the common type of chowder, there was no seafood in this dish.

It still didn’t taste right to you.

And Jey usually knew what to do in the kitchen, more so on the grill but still he got by and knew Gordon Ramsey would approve of at least a few of his dishes. If not? His bitch ass could certainly see Jey’s hands. Not your pops though, he wasn’t messing with him at all.

Jey scoffed, “yeah.”

“Hey, I’m not feeling your attitude.” You addressed over your shoulder as you went to the fridge to open up.

Jey shot back, “well I’m not feelin’ you sneaking and holdin’ two handfuls of my ass but here we are.”

It was one hand but whatever fed his ego.

He was really about to bring the hangry out of you if he kept it up to be honest. Your hands went to the top shelf, immediately spotting the now empty glass milk bottle. Yanking it out, you held it up in the air for your husband to see.

“Did you seriously use the last of the milk for this?” You questioned, one hand on your hip now.

He blinked between you and the glass and then back again, “I thought it would taste good!”

Your eye twitched, “With expired milk, Josh?!”

He scrunched up his face at this news, “be for real,” he starts as he makes his way towards you to grab the glass, “…how was I supposed to know?”

Jey’s fingers quickly unscrewed the silicone dispenser cap to take a sniff of the inside and recoiled.

“By doing that like you normally do.” You respond, “also there’s a label on the back that aways gets written with the expiration date.”

Jey snarled, “Why can’t we just keep the damn carton instead of this aesthetically pleasing bullshit?”

“That’s rich coming from Mr. Leo the flashy asshole himself.” You tilted your head to the side, sending him the same type of energy.

“Why am I catching strays?” Jey pounded on his chest, voice naturally booming off the walls, “it’s my fault I like nice things?”

‘And that I tried to cook us a meal?’ He thinks to himself.

“No but it’s mine?” You repeat his motions, pointing at your own chest while Jey sighs, “I tried to remind you this morning before I left, that the milk needed to be dumped.”

Jey scratches at his ear with his lips pushed out in thought, “I heard none of that.”

“Well, I put it on the grocery list!” Your voice went up now and you can only blame your hunger.

Jey slides the bottle onto the white surface of the pale blue counter, “I didn’t think I needed the list!”

“You clearly did!” You laugh humorlessly at the fact that you just ate partially spoiled food.

It was funny how your husband picked and chose what he wanted to remember. Granted it was pretty early when you told him this, waking him up from his snoring slumber as you pecked his cheek on your way out. Last night in bed he said he would hit the store for a few quick items you needed for the house and milk was the first thing on the list. He didn’t remember that but he knew you had a hair appointment since he insisted on paying for it, he always loved your fro and didn’t mind seeing you change it up.

He was very vocal if he didn’t like a look either, even if you were pranking him a few times with stiff wigs from Tyler Perry Amazon, which caused many more lashings from the both of you that it sometimes got personal. The both of you could take the shit talking from each other but once it actually stung just a little too much? And if it happened to occur in front of family? Oh the silent treatment was more lethal than the actual words.

“Now I see why your ass was so clenched when I came in here. You were trying to poison me, or encourage me to go vegan, my own got damn husband.” You scoffed while Jey rolled his eyes at your dramatics and that was saying a lot, since he was the number one Thespian.

He makes the noise of a buzzer, “wrong answer forehead! My fatty is too well rounded for it to be clenched. Especially if it was glute day yesterday. There’s no high booties around here and I’m highly offended that you think I would do that to you when you’re my whole heart.”

You stuck your tongue out giving him a thumbs down, “don’t try to butter me up, I’m still aggy and I’m trying to big my back, not make my stomach touch my back.”

And just like that he grins as he moves to grip the sides of your face, “I’m sorry ma, you know I always got you and already have a back up order for dinner if this didn’t turn out too well. Plus, I got something else that could feed your appetite. A appetizer if you really think about it.”

His smile turns devilish now as he moves to place his hips on yours to feel exactly what he’s serving up. You shove at his chest as he goes even further to try and kiss up your neck, “Nope, if you don’t get off me! You’re not getting none of that.”

“Why not? We got at least twenty-five minutes before option B is ready and I can make it work.” He’s chasing after you now.

You’re on the other side of the white and blue island with a shake of your head, “for one, I have no nutrients in my body and it’s really sounding like you want me to cross over to the other side.”

Jey interrupts as he stares at you in all seriousness, “never.”

Holding up fingers you continue, “Two, my laser appointment isn’t until Wednesday.”

Jey caressed his beard in thought licking his lips, “oh word, hump day? That’s even better but fuck all that we grown! Let me get you that jug of fruit water you made and then that ass is mine.”

You laughed, “you think I’m gonna just fold after you deprived me of Kopai? You really done lost your mind and it’s all KDot’s doing.”

“Nah, leave my boy out of this.”

You gasped, “That switch up is crazy.”

‘Guess we know who Jey’s shaking that ass for and it’s not just for me,’ you cackle internally before focusing back on what your husband’s response would be to picking with him. You knew better than to let that slip through your lips because you wouldn’t hear the end of it and your body was already going through it okay!

From getting your hair done and WORKING OUT!

Get your mind out of the gutter you hoes.

“I mean I didn’t say I was going to completely cut BBL—

Your eyes went wide as Jey smacked a hand over his mouth. You pointed at him and hopped up and down to prove your point.

“Be quiet.” He hissed before he made his claim, “I mean sure if im in the car I’ll bump Drake over Kendrick but he had something on his chest so some shit talking needed to be said.”

“And did.”

“Exactly but Drake’s still my guy.” He shrugged.

You shake your head as you pace the floor as if you were analyzing Jey like you were in some courtroom instead of your kitchen, “That’s just like you, taking up for the light skins.”

“Aight now you dragging it.” Jey sent a glower in your direction.

You laugh as you leaned against the counter feeling like a nap but not without facing the issue here, “so…what’s actually on the menu since you lied to me about the Kopai and then flopped the chowder.”

“It wasn’t a complete flop!” Jey argued with a deep furrow of his brows, “the flavor was on point, I just messed up with the dairy portion.”

You stated, “Goat milk would have been superior.”

“Oh hell no, wait until I tell your father about that one.” Jey’s shaking his head in disgust, goat milk was only great for a skincare routine and he could say that based on experience but far as consuming? Jey was good on that.

“Wait until I tell him that you tried to give me food poisoning.” You countered with a heated stare.

Jey deeply inhaled and sucked his teeth, “aight let’s roll before you get my blood pressure up to the point I need to be hospitalized.”

He turns the stove off and moves the pot to the side while it’s your turn to make your way over to the tatted man. You nuzzle your head into the back of shoulders while hugging him, “it’s only fair that we get on each others nerves.”

“You’re lucky I love yo ass.” He mumbles, resting a warm hand on top of your clasped ones.

“And you’re lucky I love you right back and didn’t take a bite out of your behind for depriving me of food.”

Jey scrunched up his nose at that and side eyed as he turned to face you a bit but you held his stare, letting him know that you weren’t joking. “See, I knew it in my spirit that you were one of those kids that liked to bite. I’ve seen baby pictures and that’s something I’ll have to keep in mind when we’re blessed with children.”

“Says the fighter out of the marriage.” You quirk up a brow but Jey just shrugs.

“I own my shit.”

“Whatever bro…where’s your keys?” You remove yourself from Jey to look around the kitchen while the said man follows you.

He buries his forehead against the side of your temple bumping you, “i’m not your bro so I don’t know who you think you’re talking to.”

You push him from your space, “stop playing with me, Joshua. We don’t have time for this!”

“Come correct then.”

You roll your eyes with a flick of your hair, “keys or I’ll go get my own.”

“I’m driving, I don’t need you acting like the streets are Mario kart like you probably did on your way here.” He states before he sarcastically jokes, “You’re not you when you’re hungry.”

Let’s not talk about driving skills…of course you didn’t say that but Jey could tell you were thinking it. So he steps to you, holding out his hand but kept his eyes on you until you placed yours in his. He led the way back downstairs to the front level of the home, keys already in his pocket as he locked up the front of the house before heading to the garage.

There was tension on the first five minutes of the drive but not to the point where you two knew you wouldn’t get past it. You fumbled with the radio as the wind whipped across your profile and before you both know it, you’re both singing along to music from 2018, which was reminiscent back when things were starting to heat up between you two. Back when Jey was inviting you to family barbecues and being too afraid to ask you to be his girl and making an ass out of himself to his family when they questioned what you were.

It was all trial and tribulations that led to your marriage a year later. This bickering was nothing compared to what the both of you dealt with prior. And what’s a perfect marriage?

“By the way, the new look is sexy.” Jey comments as the both of you sit in his car digging into your food.

He chose Japanese…which was satisfactory since you loved the Wagyu beef tacos here and he was tearing into the BamuBamu wings, licking his fingers and everything that you knew his mother would be slapping the back of his head if she was in the backseat.

“Thanks baby, we’ll call this look: Gaia or Alani.” You posed, hands still holding a taco.

Jey nods, “ooo, Gailani is fire! See how I just did that?”

“Hope you come up with better earthy names for our future crotch goblins.” You told him while Jey frowned at you mid-bite.

“No way you just said that.”

Shrugging you say, “I mean I don’t know how pregnancy is going to make me feel so that’s their potential nickname.”

“I mean…how would you feel if I referred you as a gremlin?” Jey questioned, not liking how you were picking on your unborn children already.

Listen to him being the sensitive parent! He cared deeply for his niece and nephew, he also didn’t play when it came to them either so he can only imagine how he would be with his own.

“…I’d blame the children you played a part of helping create. Like child like father.”

“That’s cap and not exactly how that works, that’s right, I paid attention in biology class! You’ll probably start taking it out on me, I’ll have to have doc on speed dial for tetanus shots.” Jey winked at you while you elbowed his arm, “but nah I’ll love y’all through it regardless because like it or not I’m a pretty great guy.”

You snort, “You say that now.”

“I mean it though and I know you know that. I couldn’t have picked a better person to ride through this rollercoaster of life with and the world deserves to have mini versions of us roaming the earth, plus I’m always down to get to practicing.” He winks at you while you shake your head.

“I can tell, you almost leaped over the counter to take me down.”

He pointed, “You started it by grabbing my ass and the new look isn’t helping my urges.”

“Well,” you shrugged with a smirk on your lips, “it’s definitely not happening since you like to pull hair and you didn’t buy the milk.”

“There’s a farmers market right up the street, they got to have some and then will you chill?”

“I’m chill now.” You chew with a smile as you slump into the passenger seat while Jey deeply exhales.

“Yeah, cause you’re spoiled.”

“You made me this way.”

“I know.” Jey smiles at you adoringly before shaking his head, “my own personal pain in my butt.”

“But I do appreciate the effort…although my stomach might feel different in a few hours.” You pout a little, feeling it flip just a smidge.

Jey widens his eyes at you, just hoping that didn’t happen, “nah we getting probiotics or some type of cleanse at this market, let’s go before they close. Seatbelt please.”

“I’m eating.”

The side eye he gives you makes you do so but you hold onto your taco a little tighter in the process. Driving across the street to the open parking lot that sat to the side of where the market was set up, he’s ready to hop out the car, door tossed open, without you since you were still eating but you call out to him to wait for you.

The farmers market was one of your favorite places to be, especially on a Sunday and there was no way he was going without you. He was the main one that said the both of you were always going to be by each other’s sides wherever you went. When it came to grocery shopping, Jey was the type of shopper that wanted to get in and get out. Anything else? Clothes? Cars? He could spend all day there.

Yes he was huffy as you took your time, knowing they were about to start closing up in the next fifteen minutes. You had to search his car for your gum, lipgloss, and micro wallet that you stored in here just in case you didn’t have your purse (which was sitting pretty back at home on your bed) and stole Jey’s car for the day.

“C’mon,” Jey says your name impatiently, “what’re you doing?”

“Where’s my green mini wallet I had stored on the side of the rati?” Your hands are going along the pocket of the black Maserati.

Jey answers, “that little thing? I been took that out and threw it somewhere in your drawer back at the crib. What do you need that for when you’re with me anyway? Let’s go, ma.”

Then he questions why you’re a pain in his butt!

Checking your lips once more, you get out the car dusting off any crumbs from your lap before you circle around the car to intertwine your fingers with Jey’s. You huddle closer to him as the wind is at your backs before you enter through the tarps of set up sections. He’s on a mission while your eyes are wide, trying to look at any and everything to the point he lets go of your hand to keep searching for what you’re mainly here for.

Usually it’s mostly food here but occasionally they’ll have a few clothing, accessories, and even home decor shops set up as well. It really was the best of both worlds when that happened. Jey already knew that you would search for one of those while he stayed where the food was at. He chatted with the elderly man who had his own farm about forty miles from here, got three jugs of milk: oat, goat, and coconut. Along with a nice tip before he bid his farewells then began checking for you around the sizable space.

“Hey baby,” you greet as he eventually finds you at a vendor that wasn’t selling food yet you’re holding a few fruits and fruit juices in your hands, “I got us some more papayas and pineapples. It’s already paid for since the lady took Zelle but I want to show you something else.”

You finally shift the items into the netted bag onto your other wrist as you reach out for Jey’s wrist to drag him back to a few vendors over. It was some shop that was selling antiques and he’s now standing in front of two figurines.

“Wouldn’t this be cute for the mantle above the fireplace?”

Jey glanced at you, “yeah if we wanted to be murdered in our sleep at some point.”

“Joshua!” You shushed him, “I thought they would add more color to the mantle since the fireplace is black.”

“And the marble on the bottom is white along with the rest of the furniture that’s light and the walls except for that one kitchen wall that’s a chalkboard.” The man blinks as he vividly remembers your shared home, “We don’t need anymore unnecessary stuff, especially no dolls that look like annabelle and her possessed friends.” Jey tells you while you frown as he grabs your wrist now.

You’re being dragged away while the woman laughs and sends you a wave as you attempt to persuade him one last time on one other decor piece sitting on a table, “But look, this is on sale!”

Jey mutters, “there’s a reason why majority of her items are. I know evil when i see it.”

“Not the judgement. You don’t know that lady, Josh and you need to stop watching so many scary movies lately, they’re making you so paranoid.” You sassed while you two made it back to his car.

He peeked at you before he grabbed his seatbelt, “did you see her pet possum on the leash sleeping underneath that dusty red chair?”

“Her what?!”

“Uh huh.” He nods, starting the car while going into detail about how the vendor felt off the moment you dragged him closer to it.

By the time the two of you get home, you’re heading into the master bedroom to grab your floral bonnet while Jey heads up stairs with the food. He does the clean up of the soup, finishes up his wings while you eventually make your way upstairs to eat your own food. When you meet Jey’s brown eyes across from the dining table, the both of you share a laugh at your matching low-lidded eyes. The Itis. You’re the first to move, discarding your food since Jey finished way before you and pull at his hand for him to stand.

Wrapping your arms across his shoulders before moving one hand to play with the end of his hair, he leans down to grasp your back before slipping his hands down to your ass to lift you against his hips. “That’s how it should be,” he tells you as you kiss his lips and he makes his way over to the couch.

You warn your husband, “Watch my head, we know how heavy handed you are.”

“I got it, I got it.” Jey mocks as he protects your head, laying you down first before he climbs over you to rest against the couch.

He loops an arm across your shoulders as you move around trying to get comfortable thanks to your new do. Finding that your left is less painful than your right, you face the coffee table, two living chairs, and tv instead while Jey lightly wraps his arm around your neck instead.

And you’re fine just like this, well fed and in the arms of your man ready to get a nap in until…

“I can’t find the remote.” Jey breaks the silence that makes your eyes peel open with a flare of your nostrils.

You want to fling your entire body back but your neck said different, leaving you to only side eye Jey as he sheepishly smiles at you.

“I’m actually going to kill you!” You inform him, “i said leaving the remote in the drawer of the coffee table makes it easier so we don’t have to go crazy looking for it.”

“And I may or may not have done that.” He says nonchalantly, not bothered that he was pushing a button again, “I like to leave it tucked in the cushions along with my leg in there because you know how that stupid thing likes to overheat sometimes and it’s always cold in there.”

Only Jey y’all.

Only Jey.

Once you go quiet and manage to face the brown eyed man again, you smile softly at him as you caressed his face, “that lady at the market that you were shook over, ain’t got shit on me.”

“Whatchu mean? Aye!” Jey yelled as you started to playfully ring his neck.

The only way to get you to stop was for him to slap his hand right on top of your sore head and wiggle it and what did he do that for?

“OW! Why would you—I’m done.”

You hop off the couch and circle around it but not without yanking a pillow and slamming it against Jey’s stomach, “disrespectful ass.”

“So I’m just supposed to take you son-ing me?” Jey sat up on his elbows, grunting at the attack before shoving the pillow to the floor.

You snapped over your shoulder, “I don’t know, I thought you might like that since you like your ass grabbed, although you try to deny it as much as possible.”

“What?! Now you just saying shit.”

“And you’re always doing shit!” You yell back, out of sight now and heading back downstairs.

Jey sighs as he settles back against the couch again, “Where you goin’?”

“To bed!”

“It’s 4pm.”

“Goodnight mullet! You play too much.”

Jey felt his chest bubble with some laughter but said back, “I LOVE YOU!”

“So?!”

“I SAID, I LOVE YOU!” Jey called back out but when he didn’t get any response, he jumped up to his feet and raced down the stairs just to see you laughing waiting to slam the door in his face.

Yet you were too slow, making Jey barge into the room to latch onto your body to pepper your face in kisses.

It was the little things that he did that he knew would get on your nerves (which was mutual) but ultimately you loved that man down no matter what.

Jey could say the same even if you got on his case majority of the time.

You were his everything and more.

☀︎༄·❅☘︎ ☀︎༄·❅☘︎ ☀︎༄·❅☘︎ ☀︎༄·❅☘︎ ☀︎༄·❅☘︎ ☀︎

[trulyyours-rune]

¡Hi!

Se me ocurrió un Tom celoso porque el lector ha estado pasando más tiempo con Gustav que con él, entonces Tom decide ponerlo celoso con una chica pero al final el lector le da una lección a Tom (me refiero a algo un poco caliente) 😼

I didn't know what this meant to google translate was my bestest friend <3

(Didn't know if you meant for Dom ((like top)) Male reader or Dom bottom, so I did top)

Warnings: Smut, Dom(top) reader, language, jealousy, smoking, drinking, public sex (jerking off), risk of getting caught, Tom being Tom, cause I know +18 doesn't work just read what you're comfortable with.

Tom Kaulitz x Male reader

You and Gustav got real close, like y'all were best friends. With Tom being not being hard to make jealous, got jealous. Spending out some time with Gustav instead of him made him upset, and with Tom being Tom he's gotta make you jealous now. (fair game man. You signed up for it.)

It's currently an afterparty to a club your friend owns, and let's you guys party for the night for free. You and Gustav were talking at the bar, Bill was out dancing, and Georg and Tom were out to God knows where. You were a bit tipsy, but could be easily be mistaken for sober, while Gustav was near to being drunk.

You seen Tom come out of legit no where, a cigarette in hand, as he spot you and walked over. "Hey Tom." Gustav waved his drink, Tom just waved back. "You okay Tom? Where's Georg?" "He's out smoking, bet that I left he's making out with some chick." He sat down on a barstool. "You're usually having the time of your life at free parties." You leaned back a bit, your empty shot glass banging against the table. "Yeah." He tilted his head a bit. You shrugged it off and continued to talk to Gustav, Tom holding your hand while you talked.

By the time you've taken a few more shots and were drunk at the time, you noticed Tom was gone, but also some guy that was troubling the bartender getting kicked out, you and Gustav laughed like idiots at the sight, your head against the table while Gustav had his drink spilt over. The flashing neon lights were making your head spin, and the alcohol was making it worse. It was like the world was waving and spinning. "Jesus... I'm gonna go to the bathroom, be back soon." You rubbed your eye, setting the glass down. "Alright, see ya bud."

You stood up and slowly walked your way to the bathroom, trying not to trip over your feet from not being able to walk straight. You look over to your right, and you see long dirty blonde dreads with a hat, kind of looked like Tom, kind of longish brown hair which you supposed was Georg, and two blonde ladies. One in pink and the other in black and white. They we're all sitting in a fancy booth with a light dimmed over them, currently you couldn't care less. Your main goal was to make it to the bathroom without looking like an idiot.

You made it to the bathroom, there was no gender sign so some guy was probably puking up 10 shades of green in a bathroom stall and some girl was fixing up her make-up. You turned on the taps and washed your face off, the girl glanced over at you and winked. You just ignored her and continued to not seem and feel as drunk. You bent over and drank some water which overall wasn't that good, but did help your head and vision a bit.

You walked out, letting the door swing behind you. Some couple was making out in the corner, but it's not like you'd see then again anyways. You started to walk your way back to the bar Gustav was waiting at, only to see from afar that he wasn't there. You sighed and rolled your eyes then you heard a familiar laugh coming from your right. Seemed like Tom's and Georg's laugh. You walked over and seen the same booth with them, noticing it was actually them this time. You decided to be an ass and sit down with them, not being able to find Gustav anyways.

"Hey Tom, hey Georg." "Hey Y/n" Georg smiled, the 2 ladies were still here. Awfully close to the each of them. Tom stayed silent, the girl on him having full attention on you now. Her hand still on his chest which you were kind of off about, "I'm Alexis, call me Alex." She seemed to talk in a flirty way towards you. You introduced yourself to the pair of girls. They were attractive, but you already had your boyfriend. He was just staring at you, not quite saying anything. You guys were chatting for about 10 minutes by now on different alcohols, Tom didn't seem to be paying mind to you and only kept holding 'Alex' by the waist. A bit close for your liking, but you still had some alcohol left in you, so just blame it on that for now.

There was some obvious tension between you and Tom, Georg kept looking at you two as if you both were gonna snap and just start randomly making out with each other. (Not like you would mind.) "Excuse me, I'm gonna use the restroom." Alexis called out, you and Tom moving out of the booth for access for her to get out. You both sat back down next to each other, this time with your hand on his thigh. He seemed to tense up a bit. He was avoiding eye contact with you and you smirked at it, moving your hand more inwards.

"Y/n." Georg called out "Huh? Oh yeah- as you were saying?" "Truth or dare, wanna play?" "Sure, I'm in. Tom?" Tom just nodded, wonder what's keeping him from talking with you. 10 minutes passed with useless drunk truth or dare, you seemed to get drunk again. Everyone laughing, the music blaring, lights flashing everywhere, every regular club that horny people come too. Hell, there were 2 dancers in revealing clothing dancing on display.

Alexis came back, making you and Tom boot out of the booth and scooting back in. The game continued, Tom was leaning against the table, covering his stomach and lower. Alexis just seemed to be chilled back and relaxed with a drink in her hand, drunk off her ass. "Y/n, truth or dare." Alexis's friend called out on you, "Truth." "Would you fuck a guy for $25?" "Yeah I would." You scoffed with a laugh, (you already have, for free.) Everyone laughed, you narrowed your hand towards his crotch, no wonder why he was covering. Tom has a problem down there.

You looked off to the side a smirked, letting Georg ask Alexis something. Couldn't care less to hear it, you continued to run your hand over his crotch repeatedly, seemed to work as it was teasing him. Next thing you knew was that Alexis chugged down some vodka. She was nearly black out drunk. Tom tried to swat your hand away, but you smacked his hand away. He was enjoying himself anyways, why bother?

The game went on with continuous questions and dares, and the amusement of Tom trying to keep quiet, if everyone weren't so drunk people would notice his face being all red and his constant shifting in positions. He positioned himself so no one could see your hand, which was uncomfortable but for the sake of not being caught. His shirt was curled up, so it would take no effort for you to undo his jeans. Speaking of which...

You tugged at the button and ripped the zipper down, you can see him biting his lip trying not to make any lewd noises. You honestly wanted to hear them all, to bad you can't and you'll have to save the patience. You stuck your hand into his boxers, making his breath hitch and him slamming down his fist onto the table. "Er- you alright there Tom?" Georg nodded his head towards your boyfriend "Yeah yeah- I'm fine." "You sure? Seem tense." You teased. He just shook his head and looked down at the wooden table.

You finally took him out of his boxers and you started to stroke him off under the table, his breathing was fast and heavy, his knuckles turning white the the strong grip he had on his glass. "Hey Tom, truth or dare." Georg slurred, obviously drunk out of his mind. "Fu- truth." "Alrigh- *hic* umm... H-have you everrrr... Crashed a car?" "No, surp- fuck.. Surprised I haven't yet." He let out a laugh. His laugh interrupted by him cursing under his breath, but you can't stop being so tease and decided to go faster. He threw his head back slightly, his free hand forming into a tight fist. His mouth hung loose, he started to twitch in your hand so you picked up the pace again.

Not to long before he released onto your hand, making him swear a bit loud. "You okay Tom?" "Alcohol is strong." He shrugged off. You wiped your hand onto your jeans, not like it's gonna be long before they're discarded.

__________

This one turned out better than I thought it honestly would. And I normally don't write pure smut because I actually suck ass at it soooo 😘

This took be 3 hours. It's 1 in the morning, I'm going to bed so have a good sleep unlike me <3

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Don't know about divorce watch, but it does seem like their Diana arc is right on track. Those horribly awkward joint engagents that Charles and Diana did in the 80s, where they could barely contain their disdain for eachother... Uff! The latest CBS interview seems to be pretty much thesame thing. And for a change, I think this is genuinely the same.thimh, not just Diana cosplay.

There were a few years of this for Diana and Charles till it all came to a head. So if say another couple of years of this weird, awkward, barely contained resetment for them. The question is during the divorce who gets to do the Diana cosplay? Harry being her son, is the obvious conteder, and God knows, he has legit grounds to play the victim here. But Meghan, being Meghan, would probably put amber heardto shame.

That being said, do you think there is any credence to the billionaire boyfriend rumours? I just don't see her losing focus by getting a boytoy. Plus she looks too miserable and angry to be getting it on onthe side. If she was having an affair, she would have been able to put a better act with Harry. Her relationship with Cory was very rocky for nearly a year but she looked her best and acted so happy.

I think we need a tour with incredibly awkward, very visible "we're separated and not getting along" body language, like Charles and Diana in Korea. Don't get me wrong - the Sussexes' tours and foreign trips are cringe, but they're not cringe in a "divorce watch" kind of way. Not yet. Colombia could be it, though.

Whoever gets the Diana cosplay for the divorce (aka the victim edit) will be whoever files the paperwork and gets their story out first. But the caveat to that is also "whoever controls the narrative." For exactly the reason you mention - Amber Heard.

Amber intended to "win" the divorce with the victim edit and, for awhille, she was actually successful at it. Her mistake was the Washington Post editorial, which gave Johnny's team the opportunity to poke holes in a very public, very televised, very controlled way that eventually collapsed her narrative.

And this is 100% Meghan's blind spot. She loves editorializing how awful everything is, in interviews, op-eds, and books as an anonymous source. It's all but guaranteed that she will one day write something - or have something published that's attributed to her - that will give Harry's team something to use in a point-by-point rebuttal that turns her from victim to villain.

(I'm not worried about Harry having something in writing because, well, he doesn't write to begin with.)

Yes, her relationship with Cory was rocky but it looked much more stable than her marriage to Harry - and that's the power of illusion. I made a Wizard of Oz reference in an earlier post: "Pay no attention to the real lady behind the curtain, just worship the illusion that appears in front of you." That's applicable here too. With Cory, because that relationship was shown in public through Meghan's photographs and Meghan's stories on Meghan's blog, she controlled the illusion we saw; that they were stable and happy.

But with Harry, the curtain has been pulled back and we see the real relationship, warts and all. Their marriage is being shown in public through everyone else's photographs, everyone else's video footage, and everyone else's stories on everyone else's platform. Meghan can't control the illusion we see, so we see everything happening behind the curtain. That's why her platform includes censorship - so she can control what we see of her. That's why her tools include Sussex Squad and Christopher Bouzi - so she can control who says what, and what we say, of her.

As for the billionnaire rumors, I think it's just gossip. We know that she'll only leave Harry for something better, and the only thing that's better than him (according to her narcissm) is someone with a buttload of money who can finance her goals, aka billionnaires. But Meghan talks too much about money and private business for that to be attractive to billionnaires. Billionnaires don't talk publicly about money or their private business. Just look at Bezos and Lauren Sanchez - for as much as we see them in PR and as much as Lauren flaunts the relationship, she actually keeps her mouth shut about Bezos's money and his business. Meghan could never.

My feeling has always been that if there's a divorce, Meghan's next partner will be someone in tech. Tech is the only "industry" left that she hasn't tried (Trevor was acting, Cory was lifestyle and foodie, Harry was charity, society, and business. All that's left is tech and politics). Especially since in today's world, tech is the framework for almost everything. You want to get into content? You need tech. You want to be in media? You need tech. You want to be in politics? You need tech (big Tech is a huge donor and lobbyist in politics). You want to be in charity work? You need tech. You want money? It's all in tech.

Plus, there are dozens of centimillionnaires in/around tech than there are billionnaires in the world. It'll be so much easier for Meghan to meet, and get into a relationship with, one of those guys than it would be for her to get into the same room as a billionnaire.

(Just for the disclosure, since I am Rumor Tracking Anon, there's an astrologist who's seen Meghan marry a Middle Eastern billionnaire after leaving Harry. So it's not totally out of the question. I think it's implausible given everything, but never say never.)

[bookwormbynight]

hello! as a huge fan of ur works i was inspired to write something of my own but im struggling to get L & light's voices down, in both exposition and dialogue, theyre so tricky! 😭 would you have any tips youre willing to share? 💖💖

Oh my fucking God I'm so flattered I'm going to crumple up into a little ball and die you let me know the second I can read whatever u got going on my dms are open

Here's the biggest single piece of advice I can offer you: can you hear their voice actors read the line you just wrote in your head. That's the one I always end up harkening back to. To get a good sense of this, make sure you know the material. Interpret the way the characters say things and deduce how this adds to the person they are beneath everything explicitly stated or shown. Watch the series a couple times, maybe focusing on episodes that the character you're struggling with features strongly in. That sort of thing. I use this in every fandom I've been in that has voice acting. This applies to exposition as well, although that's always a bit more nebulous and can really come down to personal style.

Character specific... Let's see...

L - Be an asshole. State everything eloquently, but basically as plainly as possible and do not pull any punches. His vocabulary tends to be a bit higher-class than pretty much everyone else in the anime, aside from maybe Watari. Lots of SAT words and synonyms for common words. ("I understand" instead of "got it" like Ryuk would say. But don't overdo it, he still speaks like a human being.) Do not hold back on the snark, he's a fucking dick and even more so when he doesn't have to watch his words for cooperation purposes. If you can fit the occasional pun or two in there, do it, you KNOW the scene where he shows a penchant for wordplay and I'm inclined to believe that wasn't out of left field for him. He's constantly cracking himself up and no one else, and he doesn't care, because any jokes he makes are for him. If Light's involved in the scene, have L fixate on him. In the anime, he's CONSTANTLY poking Light, asking questions, and trying to get him to engage. If I'm translating this into prose, I usually take his POV as the opportunity for the most fucking detailed obsessive descriptions of Light I possibly could want to do. (If L describes literally nothing else about his surroundings and all you can envision is a white room, HE WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW LIGHT'S EYELASHES ARE LOOKING.) He also tends to notice little details about others, to be fair, but far less frequently lol simply because he doesn't give enough of a shit to catalog them.

Light - He's a lot trickier for me, tbh. I'll do my best. He tends to avoid slang, but I don't think he goes out of his way to, and he's not afraid to cuss for emphasis, but otherwise he keeps his mouth clean. Other than that, his word use is very average and unremarkable (he pays a lot of attention to not being noticeably weird, even though he's super hindered in that goal by virtue of the fact that he's a fucking weirdo 😭 he's got most of the superficial stuff down, tho). His emotional thought process (and thereby descriptions) depends on where exactly he is in his Kira journey, sliding scale of arrogant but legit sweetheart to full on Regina George. He is kind of a bitch regardless, but he'll be very very polite if it's good for him to do that. He's a hardcore rationalizer, and sometimes he's right, but sometimes he's dead wrong and deploying it as a defense mechanism, which can affect the prose.

Hope this helps.

[genericpuff]

Do you know "Eggnoid"? It's a rather old webtoon about a girl being put into circumstances on taking care of a robot guy who hatched from an egg (hence the title) the robot guy appears to be a grown man, but he has mental capabilities of a toddler and even acts like one. So, it's like those types of "born sexy yesterday" tropes but the gender reversed. The girl also repeatedly shown crushing over the robot guy and at some point, she called him her boyfriend despite she's supposed to be his caretaker.

I haven't read it, but I can definitely attest that there's a double standard when it comes to gender roles and age gaps / situations of grooming / etc. in literature but especially in webtoons. And by that I mean I've legit seen people hold comics like Lore Olympus accountable for their gross dynamics between a young teenage girl and the much older and richer love interest, but then turn around and say it's "couple goals" for a teenage boy to hook up with a much older woman. At the end of the day there's still a power imbalance due to the age gap and the massive differences in life experiences between the two, gender doesn't really change that.

Big ole' sip of hot tea as a take, but speaking as an AFAB, a lot of women are just as capable of grooming and taking advantage of younger men in the same way as men towards young women, it's just that on the surface people tend to get skittish about addressing that because they don't want to sound like they're going "yeah well actually women though-" and dismissing the notion of toxic masculinity. Which yes, that's a fair thing to worry about, some people do use that as a way to dismiss the arguments made regarding patterns of grooming behavior in men towards young girls (among many other problems in which men and toxic masculinity are held accountable), but like any topic of this nature, it's not always a cut and dry black and white thing. Toxic masculinity and the grooming of teenage girls by adult men is a very real problem! But just like how we can understand the nuance that being a man by default doesn't immediately make you a predator, we should be able to understand the nuance that being a woman doesn't give you a free pass to do the same things we call out men for doing without consequences. It's like the double standard in LO that it's okay for Persephone to do the same things - if not worse - than what Leuce and Minthe and Thetis do, because she's the main character and she's not some scummy "mud-sucking" lower class person, she's rich and a Queen and she's wearing a giant hat so it makes it okay /s

Unfortunately the saying of "I support women's rights and women's wrongs" is being used in a completely tone deaf "literally excusing the main character of her crimes and wrongdoings against others because she happens to be a woman" kind of way, while missing the real point of the saying - supporting women's wrongs doesn't mean you celebrate their abuse towards others, it just means women shouldn't automatically be viewed as irredeemable "crazy bitches" for making mistakes like any other human does, and like any other human, they should be given the opportunity to grow and heal and learn from their wrongs.

When it comes to Persephone specifically, it can't even be chalked up to a "one time mistake" anymore, she's literally been showing patterns of abusive behavior for years now and refusing to take accountability, and now even Rachel is meme'ing on it knowing fully well it's what people are calling Persephone out for in the critical spaces. That's not "supporting women's wrongs", that's enabling the wrongs of a person because they happen to be a woman, and that's not okay. Persephone isn't a "girl boss", she's a bully.

I think the double standard in these age gap romances also speaks to the idolization and fixation on women as being nothing more than conquests for men as well. People who romanticize age gaps between a young woman and an older man think, "Wow, that woman is so mature for her age, enough that an older richer man would choose HER to be his wife! So romantic!" when in reality those who know those dynamics are unhealthy and toxic recognize it as an older man taking advantage of a young woman who's being love-bombed into believing she's "mature for her age" so that she'll sleep with him. Meanwhile, on the other side of it, those who romanticize young men getting with older women tend to come at it from the angle of "well she's so old and washed up, no man could ever love her, her chance for love and a happily ever after is gone now! it's so wonderful of that young man to give that sad and lonely old woman love and attention!" and yet fail to see it from the same perspective of an older person manipulating a young person with zero life experience, because there's still this deeply-rooted ideology that women are "used up" by age 30 and any man who gives her attention beyond that age range is a hero. Completely neglecting the fact that relationships aren't off the table at all for older single people and they don't need to involve robbing the cradle.

I blame the lack of older couple representation in media tbh, so many mainstream romance stories are basically just this:

To pull it out of the perspective of LO and webtoons for a second (sorry, I'm going on a hell of a tangent here), remember how gross it was when it was revealed in Fifty Shades Darker that Christian had been introduced to the concept of BDSM at age 15 through one of his mom's friends (i.e. an older woman!) who Anastasia calls "Mrs. Robinson"? And they had that relationship until he was 21? And they never really did anything about that, it was pretty much just there to explain why Christian was fucked up but he still got married to Anastasia, an innocent woman who he was repeating the cycle of abuse with, and lived happily ever after anyways?

Yeah. That was pretty fucked up.

[theleastprofessionalchef]

Ah jeez, I started making this post end of May and saved it as a draft so I could come back with the recipe, and fully forgot to do that for uh. Yeah. A long time. I've since made a few more batches of successful mead, and have a couple more fermenting right now! I'll reblog with pics of them later.

Well! better late than never. Leaving what I'd written initially unchanged, so-

-

Two months apart - start and end - my first successful batch of mead! I've tried a handful of times over the years, but had an unfortunate habit of doing... SOMETHING wrong each time that resulted in lightly sweetened cleaning alcohol 😅

But finally, a success! Real mead! Sweet, but not too sweet, and boozy enough without being straight up moonshine

Recipe:

Roughly three pounds of honey

3? 4? Of those little mandarin oranges, quartered

1 packet ale yeast, I used this

Various whole mulling spices, I used a stick of cinnamon and a few cloves this time, but I've also tossed in cardamom pods and anise occasionally, maybe a couple peppercorns. Go wild

So much filtered/distilled water. So much. Like two gallons?

I'll be real folks, I used a cheap shitty online guide that I don't remember the link for, that said it was a good basic way to learn how to make garbage mead and that any brewer worth their salt would cringe at. It is also coincidentally the same guide I used years ago in the aforementioned cleaning alcohol incident; I haven't changed what I used or did, so I honestly don't know why that came out bad and this good. Shrugs! Yeast can't read.

Dissolve the honey in warm/hot water. Not boiling- you don't want to kill the yeast when you add it in. Think a nice, warm shower. Stir it well, add the oranges and spices, and mix in the yeast until also dissolved.

Load it all up into a large glass container like the one pictured. I ordered a carboy online for this, which is the 'proper' thing to use, but you can honestly get away with an old milk jug you've thoroughly cleaned and sanitized, if you again, don't care about it being the highest quality. Carboys come with the fermentation/filtration Thing on it to let gases out and nothing in (the little doohicky plugged into the top of the lid) but you can also get away with stretching the mouth of a balloon over where the lid would go and poke a teensy hole in it with a needle. The goal is to let the gases that build up during fermentation escape the container, but not to let outside air in.

Fill the container the rest of the way up with water, but leave a couple inches of space on top. This thang's gonna bubble like crazy once the yeast start feeding, and you don't want it to overflow and make a mess of your cupboard.

Put it in a dark, cool space, and wait a few days!

It'll bubble a lot those first days; DON'T mess with it. Leave her be. Let her have her hot girl summer. After a few days, maybe a week, it'll calm down a bit; now you can top off the water supply.

Fast forward uhhhh two months or so, and it's done! There's a more legit way to know for sure when it's done that involves watching the tiny bubbles that form near the top as part of the fermentation process, and figuring out when they'll stop, but I'm impatient and don't know jack and am here for a good time not a long time.

Enjoy mead! And maybe do some better research than I did if you want something fancy.

OH AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT STIR IT WHEN YOU GO TO DRINK THE FINISHED STUFF

You'll want to scoop the fruits and spices off the top and then siphon it off into another container, or do what we did and simply ladle it off the top (because on a ship of 10-13 sailors, 1 1/2-2 gallons of mead won't last longer than an off day), and NOT drink the detritus off the bottom. You can kinda see it in the picture above. It is not like unfiltered apple cider. That stuff tastes gnarly.

Do not shake the mead before drinking.

[hyunsuks-beanie]

perv best friends yeonbin corrupting their innocent bff into giving them both a sloppy head

Wait. No. Stop. Why the hell can I imagine this scene playing out legit crystal-clear?

CW: Smut; perv! patterns; mentions of porn, masturbation, and fellatio

So you know, you've been friends with one of them for a while and he decides to introduce you to the other. Like, for example, I'm gonna take you being friends with Yeonjun bc he's more social most of the time, and he brings Soobin along to your place one day (of course, they can switch places if you'd rather, but the plot pretty much remains the same).

Now, Yeonjun is not blind. He knows how attractive you are, he's seen how sexy you can be when you want to be. Actually, scratch that, he just finds you sexy all the damn time. Periodt. He's had the nastiest of thoughts about you and he desires nothing more than to ruin that image of the innocent little angel that you've been carrying around. He wants to make you moan, he wants to make you gag on him.

And then we have Soobin, who takes one look at you and knows he must have you. His tongue flicks from between his teeth, grazing his lips as he eyes you up, shamelessly undressing you in his mind. He must have you, even if that means stealing you from the elder.

Yeonjun doesn't take too well to it at first, because you're obviously supposed to become his little toy, right? And he's made so much progress, making you comfortable to his lingering touches or his kisses to your neck little by little. And this little (super tall) jerk here dare threaten to ruin all that he's built?

But soon enough, the both of them realize that it's pointless to fight when they both have a common goal. They need to work together, not against each other, right? So they come up with a plan, a sloppy one, but a plan nonetheless.

They pretend as if it was an accident, and you're an idiot if you actually fall for it. But then again, maybe you've been pretending all this while too? Maybe that's why you're acting so oblivious to their intentions? They're watching porn when you come around, using the key to their dorm that Yeonjun had so conveniently given you a couple days back. They're watching porn, in the living room, jerking off to the sight.

They pretend to be surprised to see you, when they had been the ones to invite you over not more than a few hours ago. Yet they act as if they had forgotten. They act as if they're shy and embarrassed that you saw them like this. Yet that embarrassment was obviously a façade, because barely moments later, they're suggesting you help them out.

"It'll be just this once. Please princess?"

"Our hands could never compare."

"You're the prettiest little thing we've ever laid eyes on. Won't you help us?"

"That's what friends do, right? They help."

"I'm so sorry you had to see us like this. But you should've texted us that you were coming over."

"Can we really go back from this? I think the only way is to go forward now."

And in the end of course, you're on the floor, face-fucked out but totally satisfied. And all three of you know this is only the first time.

[doukeshi-kun]

First off, your little fic was cute af. Domestic Kolya stuff makes me go bonkers, go crazy go stupid. Jumping off the walls. Make a wife out of that man

But I also wanna throw out there, I strongly believe despite his goals and motives, he'd be an amazing father. Like imagine, him and small kids that he helped make and they look and act like him. He'd have a blast bro I don't doubt it. Imagine the literal circus of chaos he would make with them, but the happy smiles and giggles they all would share. Amazing, precious. Oh lordy, imagine he brings them to "work" with him. Of course, these kids would not grow into being wonderful citizens of society lmfao, but the imagine of him bonding with his own children (that he 100% calls his little clown army or something) is honestly precious. The domestic stuff even would be so much cuteness I couldn't take it. I would gladly pop out this man's kids no doubt, on god, dead ass legitness

RIGHT YOU GET ME QUIN YOU ALWAYS GET ME😫💞💞💞💞💞 HE'LL BE THE BEST FATHER IF ONLY HE'S NOT THAT FIXATED ON HIS GOAL😭😭

i believe he doesn't have strong opinions on children. like, he doesn't actively like kids or play with anyone but he makes that exception on for his kids awww

AND HIM CALLING HIS CHILDREN LITTLE CLOWN ARMY WAGH SO PRECIOUS 😭💞 imagine them wearing mini eccentric clothes like him and he calls them to line up in front of him to brief what kind of fkin chaos they can do today hsgshdsh

i feel like nikolai's been independent for so long that he's very decent in basic chores. with his minions, he would certainly teach them how to do house chores so he can mess around with you instead lmao

the only downside is that, since he has a very complex mindset and questionable morales, i do think he will influence his kids, one way or another. there's a good chance that his children would grow up to be very morally grey. but worry not, he would even threaten his own kids to be nice to you.

he is gonna be a big manchild dad, i'm sure😍

aghhh i love this concept sm! 🌃anon used to send a couple ask where nikolai's a dad and reader is his daughter's friend mueheh

[fullsunised]

i’m not sure if you’re doing requests but if not you can ignore this. if so, this is going to sound super random but can i request nct dream reaction to their s/o’s curly hair? thank u

ɴᴄᴛ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ¹¹ : ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴄᴜʀʟʏ ʜᴀɪʀᴇᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

. ★彡 genre: fluff

. ★彡 trigger warnings: swear words

. ★彡 requests open

. ★彡 a/n: I expected myself to do ass in this one, but imma say its better than I expected it to be. also, thank you for the request, such a cute idea. AND DISCLAIMER BRO I JUST USED COMMON SENSE, IDK WHAT PEOPLE WITH CURLY HAIR GO THROUGH LEGIT. anyways, hope you enjoy this :))

❝ 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆 ❞

╰─▸ ❝ 愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐋𝐄𝐄 ] ࿐ྂ

he loves playing with it. he genuinely thinks that's the best part about you- of course, he adores every little thing about you but your hair legit makes him wanna die cause its so pretty.

loves pulling on it. not aggressively but like you know, taking a strand and twirling it, or like straightening it to see how it recoils. bro he just loves the way your hair bounces up and down while you walk.

you know damn well, he's studying on the products and shit for your hair. bro he just loves watching it bounce.

╰─▸ ❝愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐆 ] ࿐ྂ

very afraid about the fact that your curls can be delicate. he just loves watching you making your hair in the morning, he sits next to you and hands you all the products you need at the right time, because bro has memorised your hair routine.

bro buys you like twenty five different hair accessories because he can, and because he loves to decorate your hair. probably braids it, or styles it for you. a very artistic person, so explains that.

loves watching you play with it, or loves it if you let him play with it. he loves drawing you as well, especially with your hair all out surrounding your cute little face. so damn cute, couple goals.

╰─▸ ❝愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐉𝐄𝐍𝐎 𝐋𝐄𝐄 ] ࿐ྂ

for him your hair is the best part fr. always using some sort of excuse to touch it all the time. bro has no chill fr. oh you are next to him, he's touching your hair more than any other part of you. 

loves resting your head on his lap so that he can run his fingers through your hair all the time. no chill. ong, he loves washing his hair for you. like them therapy sessions where he just does your hair while you relax.

is the type to advice you to experiment. like colouring your hair, maybe trying a different hair style, and bro even does it for you. he just adores it so much. whipped culture vibes. 

╰─▸ ❝愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐄𝐄 ] ࿐ྂ

man he loves waking up next to you, his face shoved into your hair smelling his favourite shampoo.

boy doesn't ask. he's just walking around, he stumbles upon you and he's touching your hair. you don't mind it of course. ruffles your hair a lot, so that it gets messy and you come to him for a brush.

also, ong he is the type to hide stuff in your hair. pretend they went missing, tease you for hiding it in your hair while you deny it, and then you know he's snickering while you pout after finding that shit he hid on purpose.

╰─▸ ❝愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐍𝐀 ] ࿐ྂ

adores it from afar. he loves it when you run up to him, cause your hair be bouncing up and down in the air. also is the type to carry a hair tie on his wrist ( that's hot asf ).

boy also adores brushing your hair for you, especially with your bed hair, just uses a comb and brushes through the knots. just loves it absolutely. makes sure to fill up on your hair products and shit.

the type to nag and complain if you straighten your hair even for a evening because bro embrace your natural hair fr. personal hype boy if you ever are insecure about it.

╰─▸ ❝ 愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐋𝐄 𝐙𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆] ࿐ྂ

buys you the most expensive shit, cause boy needs you to maintain your hair. also the type to buy accessories, and decorate your curls. also a nagger, bro hates it when you change your hair in any way, but loves if you accessorise a lot. 

loves watching your bed hair, but also is the type to make fun of the way your hair is in the morning. ong, he's definitely the type to take pictures of you with the messiest of hair instantly after you wake up, and save it as his wallpaper, so that every time he opens his phone, he can laugh at it and coo at it at the same time.

he is very chill about it. like he doesn't treat your hair as any different than straight. 

╰─▸ ❝ 愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 ] ࿐ྂ

he's so adorable about it. bro is awestruck. he just loves watching your hair bounce, he's not the type to be touching it all the time, because he is the secret admirer types.

even if you are having separate conversations in the same room, he is still staring at your hair- bro is that mesmerised. nah, he's so delicate about your hair, like, even if you ask him to touch it, he just grazes it with the tips of his fingers and he loves it already.

his eyes are shining watching your bed hair, or while you are doing your hair routine. trust me, he just loves watching it that's all. 

FULLSUNISED.

[slowlydifferentbluebird]

hey! i saw the hcs for Sakura, can i request the same for Yunjin? ^ ^ thanks in advance!

Le Sserafim headcanon: Yunjin as your crush, girlfriend and wife

Requests are open

Hello Anon! Thank you for requesting this headcanon. It's funny because this was the most requested idea, I mean also other 4 or 5 people requested this headcanon. But honestly legit, because Yunjin deserves all the love in this world. I hope you enjoy it ❤️

Le Sserafim Yunjin X GN!Member

SFW Content

As your crush

You remember clearly when years ago you spent your days watching Produce 48

And how hard you were simping on this woman

And how upset you were about her being eliminated from the show

So imagine your surprise when she was seated next to you in an american college

You were like "Excuse me, but wtf?"

But honestly you didn't mind having her as your first friend there

In fact you didn't lose time in creating a friendly relationship with her

Even if people always thought about you two as lovers

Because both of you were so touchy and affectionate

Countless night spent together

Talking about your past and future

One of these night you were kinda drunk

So you confessed to her

You were so afraid to be rejected by her

Luckily that night she kissed you

As your girlfriend

The next morning you were two blushing mess

But at least you had the courage to take the lead and ask her to be officially your girlfriend

And guess what? You became the IT couple of the college

No, but seriously you two were the embodiment of the couple goals

Always wearing matching outfit

The most aesthetic photo to post on yours profile

And photo of each other as wallpaper of your phone

Cuddling before sleeping is a must

She needs to hold you to have a good sleep

You always tease her for being such a "Yas girl"

But actually you love this side of her because she always boost your confidence

As your wife

One though she received a call

And holy sh!t, it was the Hybe

And they wanted her to be part of their new girl group

She wanted to accept so bad, but she also didn't want to leave you behind

But you actually encouraged her and proposed to move with her

That was the moment where Yunjin understood you were her person, the only love of her life

Obviously she couldn't make you immediately the proposal

But after years of work with Le Sserafim, she finally did

You were officially hers and she was your partner for life

And for some reason now Eunchae is yours daughter, but hey, how could you say no to that baby?

NSFW Content

Now, talking about the spicy things

She's the biggest brat in bed

Always teasing you about not being good enough to make her satisfied

And every single time, after a couple of hours she squirted even her soul

Often wearing only lingerie in your house

And you're like "Alright, now we're gonna fuck"

Also very attentive to make you feel good too

Even though she needs to tease even in those moments

"Look at you, cumming so hard for me"

So it's only right to tease and edge her in exchange

She becames such a whining mess

Almost begging you to make her cum

After though she's a supporter of cuddles and aftercare

Tell her you love her, even if just minutes ago you were calling her a slut

[redux-iterum]

Do you have any writing tips?

A few!

Don't be afraid to write poorly. Dissatisfaction and mistakes are an important part of the process of learning to write well, and they'll continue to exist no matter how skilled you are. If you look at what you've written and hate it, don't just delete it and walk away, swearing to never write again; take a moment to pinpoint exactly what bothers you about this paragraph or that line of dialog, and keep it in mind for the next time you write. Be excited when you catch mistakes! That means you've improved, even a little.

Take the advice of "write drunk, edit sober" as metaphorical (as I do). That is, write with wild abandon, and then come back later with a clear, cooled-down mind and see what you need to fix. Have fun with it and write nonsense. You can change it later. It'll still be there. And sometimes the nonsense will be great! You never know!

If you want to be consistent and finish stuff regularly, set small goals for you to accomplish daily. "I want to write at least one paragraph a day" or "I'd like to have half a page written every day", something manageable like that. Your job is to get something done every day, no matter how much it is (shit, it could be a single sentence, if that's easiest). I recommend having a goal of 250 words written daily - it's a small amount that you quickly get used to, yet significant enough that you've made notable progress.

The least pleasant advice I have is that sometimes, writing will not be fun. You'll be on a scene you don't want to do, or be in the non-entertaining stage of planning something dull between two concepts you're really excited about. You'll be tempted to leave it for later and then end up never doing it at all. Get accustomed to the carrot-on-a-stick method - or dinner-before-desert, if that's your fancy. You don't get to write the really fun scene until you finish up the scene you're bored with. That requires some discipline, but it's not impossible to achieve. Lord knows I've gotten myself through a couple months of writing not-as-fun stuff on the promise that I get to write the thing I've been dreaming of since I started the story. The reward is very well worth it, I promise.

Along those lines: do your best to find small joys when you're at something you find dull. Maybe a conversation takes an entertaining turn! Maybe you make yourself smile when someone makes a joke or does a backflip and hurts themself! The scenery certainly is lovely right now, you can write about that in detail! It's the little things that help push you along until you get to the Big Thing. Like in life, appreciate the small moments.

That being said, don't punish yourself for not being able to complete something. There are a million legit reasons to not come back to a story. There's a line between "I gotta get this done, even if I'm not thoroughly enjoying it right now" and "I'm worthless until I finish this thing and I'm not allowed to take breaks". Take care of yourself. You are more important than your fanfic, and your fanfic doesn't get written unless you rest and eat and take time to enjoy the outside world. Be kind and understanding to yourself and any writers you enjoy. You are flesh and blood, not a machine.

Hope these help!

[hookechoes]

goal: one legit pull-up

where i am starting: lol

Over the past couple of weeks I bought a pull-up bar and 4 resistance bands. I've been dead-hanging on the bar, and on any bar I can find at the various parks around town, to try to improve my time, form, and grip strength. I've gone from 20 seconds to 40 seconds in a couple of weeks, and my hand calluses are starting to come back. I'm aiming for at least 60 seconds or better every time.

I'm starting with the heaviest resistance band, which has a max resistance of 100 pounds. Even with that, I can't do a pull-up, so I'll be working on negatives and static holds for a while with that band while also trying to get my weight down a bit.

I've tried this before, but I never bought real stuff I could use and I was reliant on good weather and transportation to get to the parks. So of course it didn't last. But now the bar is literally right outside my bedroom with the band already looped onto it. I'm trying to make it as convenient as possible to get to the workout so that I don't have to waste mental effort on worrying about the weather, or if my car has enough gas to get to the gym, or if the gym is open, or if people are going to be looking at me, or if I have clean gym clothes, etc.

It's gonna take a really long time, if I ever make it; I've never had any upper body or core strength to speak of at all. But if I improve, I'll still count that as a win.

[majaloveschris]

For some the “weddings” was what made them believe it was PR.🤣

Mostly because of the information that was coming in real-time when they were supposed to be happening from people that were supposed to have signed NDAs, around the same time projects for both of them were coming out I may have to mention, followed by all the articles promoting the ceremonies that keep happening even now almost every month like someone it's afraid we would forget. Which is kinda funny and desperate in my opinion because those articles are not always tied to them doing something like for example RDJ's wife mentioning how “he was mentoring during his wedding” after over 10 years of working with him. Like really? That's the best example you can think of. 🤣🤣🤣

Also, the mystery of where the first “ceremony” was supposed to happen that not even his “go-to” magazine seemed to know.

But I guess that helps to get people attention that seem to be the ultimate goal.

All of it is too sloppy to be just PR.

There doesn't seem to be much love or real need for privacy to be completely real so we are stuck in limbo until someone breaks…

Yeah, the super secret, super private, NDA-proved wedding wasn't that big of a secret after all. As you said, it's funny to think that the first article via Page 6 came out the day after the wedding. The "source" didn't wait a single minute. And the People article wave was even funnier. We got newer articles every single day for almost a week. Talking about the wedding, their relationship, and whatever they were able to come up with. What a low-key couple, right? My opinion is that those articles came from their teams, which leaves the question of why selling this whole "we are so happy and in love" thing is so important. It's a super secret, NDA-proved wedding, but Hemsworth was casually telling random people that they were there for Evan's wedding. RDJ's wife wasn't holding it back either, and it's so believeable that in the past 10+ years, RDJ hasn't "mentored" him for something else or even more important.

The whole location thing is a joke. Page 6 wrote, "The couple said “I do” Saturday in an intimate ceremony that took place in Massachusetts at their Boston-area home," and then People wrote (mentioning that "The New York Post's Page Six was first to report the news") that "The actor, 42, wed Alba Baptista during a ceremony at a private estate in Cape Cod, Mass., on Saturday, a source tells PEOPLE." Neither of those articles mentioned that the party and the ceremony were at two different locations, and both of those pages talk about the ceremony. So where was the ceremony then? Because the two outlets wrote about entirely two different locations, and the fact that People mentioned that Page Six was the first to report yet their "source" said a completely different thing is funny. I wouldn't assume the source didn't know where they were. Then People obviously tried to save what they could and published another article where they wrote, "Chris Evans and his new bride Alba Baptista partied at his Boston-area home to celebrate their marriage" and that "the wedding weekend also included a gathering at a private estate in Cape Cod, sources confirmed to PEOPLE." So what happened and where then? Because the story doesn't really make sense. Just like anything else in this whole thing. I guess their love is so strong that even the source(s) got high on it and couldn't tell where or what was happening.

To me, the sloppiness is one of the reasons why I think this is PR. There wouldn't be this many inconsistencies if this were a legit thing. They wouldn't need to prove anything, they wouldn't need to publish this many articles about the wedding or their relationship, and they wouldn't need to keep filling in the whole mess their sloppiness caused.