#lemme know if i should put a ''under the cut'' on this because i might be too long

[sherlock-is-ace]

Just some thoughts about DID Holmes in Sherlock & Co.

I need to preface this by saying I don't have DID, all I know about it is from reading and hearing people who do have DID talk about their experience. I can be wrong, I don't mean any harm by it and I encourage people to correct me (just please be kind).

Ok so in the Sherlock & Co. canon, Holmes has DID, amongst a variety of other things, which is a new and interesting thing to explore with this character. I'm not sure if we'll ever see it explored in the show, or if it'll just stay a part of a long list of what makes Sherlock neurodiverse. But I've been thinking about it and I'd like to dump my thoughts here.

I think it makes absolutely perfect sense for Sherlock Holmes to have DID. Even in the ACD canon, Holmes isn't known to have had a good childhood and a good relationship with his parents. Jeremy Brett liked to think Holmes didn't see his mother until he was like eight years old. Lots of neglect, coupled with the struggles of being a "difficult child" because of his perticular cocktail of disorders (ADHD, ASD, SPD, DMDD and ODD), is just the perfect recipe for repetitive childhood trauma that could very well develop into DID. There's no question in my mind that it was a good decision (at least an interesting one) to give Sherlock DID in this adaptation. And that got me thinking about how much he probably struggled with it.

I chose to believe that Sherlock achieved final fusion years before he met John. That's what makes the most sense to me. We know he's got official diagnoses for these things, so it would make sense to me that he got professional help for his DID as well. And based on his personality, and his need to be in control and know all the information available to him, I think final fusion would be the result he would have seeked, as opposed to functional multiplicity.

Now of course one can't logic their way out of neurodiversity, and one can't just logic their way into final fusion. But what works and doesn't work has to have some connection to the way someone is, and I think Sherlock Holmes would have worked his ass out in therapy to achieve final fusion because I think it would have been a horrible time for a man like him.

I'm thinking about how he would handle the amnesia (we know his views in memory and identity), the loss of control when a different alter fronted, the confusion of "waking up" in a completely different part of town, disassociating in the middle of important (or interesting) tasks, etc. etc. I also think that perhaps, his addiction could have been a result of a persecutor alter.

As someone who struggles with communication because of his autism, I think perhaps that could also affect Holmes' communication with his alters. I genuinely don't know if that could be a thing or not, I've never met anyone who had DID and autism so I'm not sure how correct that assumption is. But if that communication was also a struggle, it would explain why functional multiplicity wouldn't work as well.

And I don't know, perhaps we'll have more glimpses into Sherlock's past in the podcast, and we'll learn more about his DID diagnosis, perhaps he hasn't achieved final fusion, perhaps he very much still struggles with switches and memory loss. We don't know, but I do hope we get to explore it more! It ads a new layer of complexity to the character that we haven't seen in other adaptations, and I really love that!

We know that Sherlock Holmes is always neurodivergent, whether that is explicitly diagnosed in canon or not. The whole point of Sherlock Holmes as a character, from ACD canon to any modern version, is that he doesn't think like everyone else. That is literally the definition of neurodiversity. To take that away from Holmes is to destroy the character. But what this adaptation did, by giving a name to each and every trait of Holmes is very interesting and I hope they can handle it well! So far I've been very pleasently surprised by the way they have handled Sherlock's autism. It is very much a part of him and it informs his actions, but it is not all that he is. And maybe it's because Joel Emery's daughter is autistic so he has more knowledge about it than the other disorders, but I still hope we get to see more of that as well, especially Sherlock's DID.

Alright that's all kdjfhg

As I said, I don't have DID so take everything I said with a grain of salt. But if anyone has thoughts they'd like to share please come talk to me! :D And if anyone has DID and wants to share their thoughts about Sherlock & Co. thought the lense of someone with the disorder please do! I'd be very happy to read about it. (Also my ask is always open if anon is more comfy)

[rabbitsrams]

I just had the most diabolical soul crushing thought. So inexperienced schlatt & reader have finally worked their way up to doing the deed, and when they do it’s so soft and sweet, kisses everywhere, holding hands, talking eachother through it. CUDDLING DURING THE SEX TO FEEL CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER.

oh anon... i love you. i love you dearly.

i already touched on this in my initial post but i'm so fucking glad to elaborate this is my favorite thing ever )):

nsfw under the cut, minors dni!! 18+ only.

so you don't really plan it out necessarily. you both know you want to go all the way but you're not sure if the other is ready. but schlatt really wants it with you so he goes as all out as he can.

making a spotify playlist for perfect songs for the night, taking you out to dinner (off campus) and just treating you like an absolute queen.

it's not ideal, he wishes he didn't have to take you back to his dorm room where his neighbors were the loudest, but he wants it to happen and will make it work.

his roommate is thankfully out with his own boyfriend (schlatt planned most with him so he knows not to go back in lol) so you have the room to yourself.

HE BOUGHT FUCKING. ROSE PETALS. (yes this man watched some of your favorite romcoms for inspiration. i want him so bad. im crying.)

"j, what is all this?"

"i wanted to make tonight special, 'cause your first time should be special."

"you're... you're ready?"

"yeah."

"me too."

then he's like wait and brings you back outside so he can attempt to carry you in. it doesn't really work, but you don't care. you're kissing him as soon as the door closes.

he's like wait lemme put on the playlist but you keep on kissing him so it's a struggle to get it on lmao.

HE TAKES YOUR CLOTHES OFF FOR YOU. THAT'S SO NEW BUT YOU ARE JUST SO CAPTIVATED CAUSE YOU WANTED THAT FOR A WHILE BUT WERE TOO SHY TO ASK. OMG.

AND THE WHOLE TIME HE'S MARVELING AT HOW BEAUTIFUL YOUR BODY IS.

"j, you've seen it all before, though."

"doesn't make it any less beautiful."

his hands are all over you when you both sit on the bed and make out some more. you just love kissing each other so much like ohhhhhh😭

you do some foreplay, lots of what you've done before, but it feels like the first time again. like that intimacy of sharing the moment together is just so special.

and as i said before, he's too caught up in the moment to realize he doesn't have condoms with him. he's panicking lowkey because he wanted everything to be perfect and now he messed this up and...

"j, i'm pretty sure the ra's have them. and if not, we can just run to the pharmacy or something."

"but i had this all planned out. i wanted it to be perfect-" you shut him up with a kiss.

"it is perfect."

he comes back from the ra's office with too many condoms. you're giggling at how they're all falling out of his arms and teasing the shit out of him.

"you could have gotten a few!"

"shut up." and he kisses you right after. oh fuck. that was really hot.

you both don't know how to put a condom on so he pulls up fucking WIKIHOW to do it. all while you're kissing down his neck to tease a bit.

a song you imagined playing during your first time starts right as he gets on top of you and you are just. in heaven. this is the perfect moment.

as i said before, he's really nervous about actually putting it in, you both know it might hurt or feel weird AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO HURT YOU OH MY GOD...

but you tell him you'll be okay. and he says you can stop any time if it hurts or if you're uncomfortable.

he takes your hand into his, assuring you you can squeeze it if it hurts or anything.

it is a little bit painful at first. it's different than his fingers, a lot more to take in, but he goes slow so you can get used to the feeling.

you do find yourself squeezing his hand a lot, not really from pain but from the new sensation of being stretched out further. but it actually feels really good.

his pace is a bit awkward and uneven when he starts moving, but once he gets used to it, oh my god?? and he just looks so pretty on top of you, his hair is sticking to his forehead, he's whimpering at how good you feel around him.

as i said before, he doesn't last very long. he finishes before you do and he's like oh no because he wanted you to finish as well. but you tell him it's fine and not to worry.

he's so cuddly )): like he's hugging you and kissing your neck apologizing that you couldn't get to finish but you reassure him that you can do it again later.

(later that night you do get to and it's really hot like it's your best orgasm yet. and he's so happy because HE made you come that hard. HE DID. AAAAAAAA)

[agoracactus]

GOW x Reader - Real Life AU Pt.1

i couldnt fit everyone in here so i thought id do a part two for the aesirs. if u got anyone u wanna see lemme know!

question, would ppl wanna read odin x reader?

or mimir?

Warning: no proofreading as im doing this late with my eyes half closed again

Kratos

He came from a military family, was raised with strict discipline, which gave him a stern and rigorous manner.

He's a huge man, tall and very well-built. Very. Intimidating. You would have stayed as far away from him as possible if not for your curiosity.

At the start of your relationship, you relied a lot upon Atreus- Kratos's son- to be the middleman of your conversation. After a lot of "practice" and determination, you're now confident to read his emotions and have a general understanding of what he's trying to say (but not saying).

He was a general in his country, then got a dishonorable discharge. Got into business with the local cartel for a while, brought down the cartel single-handedly, and is now an independent contractor doing construction work. You often joke that he should get his life story made into a movie.

You love that under all the hard shell and tough demeanor is a big warm heart. While he secretly admires you wearing your heart on your sleeves- although he worries from time to time for you rarely let your guard up.

He doesn't talk about his past much, even after dating you for some time. It was frustrating at first, you thought he either didn't trust you or wasn't serious about the relationship. After some heated arguments, you two finally talked it out. You'd patiently wait till the day he's ready to open up about his past, and it would be perfectly fine if he never want to.

Speaking of heated arguments, it is rare to happen. He's a very logical person and straightforward. And slowly he's learning to open up and communicate more.

He had 2 marriages before, both gave him bitter-sweet memories. On your anniversary, with Atreus's help, you dug out the very few photos he had of his family, framed them yourself (with handmade wooden frames, you had multiple cuts following those tutorials on youtube), and gave it to him over dinner.

You were so nervous that he might see it as crossing his boundaries that you thought you'd throw up, instead he almost choked up.

You helped him hang up the photos on the entry wall afterward.

And he started liking his pictures taken especially when it's with you.

Atreus gave him a film camera for his birthday. So he started the hobby of photography, and even learned how to develop photos.

He writes poems for you.

You submitted some of his photos to a local photography contest, and he won the second prize.

He prefers the old-school stuff, for the life of him couldn't catch up with all the new techs. And he hated using smart phones. Later you found out it was because his fingers are too thick for a small smart phone screen, so you got him an ipad. Now he facetime everybody if he needs anything and puts the tablet by his ear to listen.

Drives a 4 -door pickup, and wouldn't let anyone drive his precious car. Not even Atreus.

You often buy him clothes, knowing he would look good in either style- also knowing that if you don't care about what he wears he would wear whatever flannel he has in his closet- often with some holes.

He does not care about whether it's hot or cold, he basically wears the same thing all the time. You don't know how he is warm when he's only wearing a t-shirt in the snow, while you wrapped yourself up like an onion

Not like you wanna complain though, it's nice to have a human heater in bed keeping your feet warm.

Has a friend called Mimir, a somewhat hippy-looking man. He helps with Krato's company's finance and other paperwork stuff. Unlike his appearance, according to Kratos, he's actually very smart.

You often wonder how these two people become friends in the first place.

adult!Atreus

Works at a wildlife rescue organization, and travels all the time to help all sorts of animals.

You two met on a rescue mission. He admires your compassion and love towards the animals, and you love his capability of handling hurt and tense beasts.

When you first met, he had a full head of braided locs. He claimed that since he couldn't grow a full and luscious beard, he overcompensate with his hair.

Likes braiding your hair, and you'd let him do it because he can do all sorts of braids and does it better than you.

Used to participate in archery tournaments when he was still in school, won lots of trophies and medals. Now he plays amateur games.

He brought you to an archery range for your first date. You being competitive thought it would be a piece of cake. But couldn't even draw the bow string.

You thought you were going to impress him, instead, he impressed you with extreme patience and well-articulated instructions. You were able to hit a target after half a day's training thanks to him.

He loves to read. You planned a treasure hunt at the bookstore for your anniversary, looking for books to gift each other and to read together. He always talked about it to his friends, showing off how thoughtful you are.

He just loves showing you off to people.

He's as stubborn as a mule. Whatever he set his mind to, no one could change his mind. Sometimes you admire his level of determination, other times you wanna bang your head on the wall.

He has a huge dog named Fenrir, Atreus rescued him when he was just a little puppy. The first time you visit his house, Fen tackled you- it was almost traumatizing. Atreus told you it was because Fen really liked you, and he doesn't usually take a liking to people.

Of course he would be a prankster, often pulling small pranks on you (harmless though), you are constantly amazed at how creative he is, and would often laugh at these pranks together.

At first you were scared of his father, a big man who rarely speaks let alone smiles. Sometimes you wonder if he really loves his son, when he barely gave Atreus any response to whatever he was sharing

Plus , what loving parent lets their kids call them "sir"?

Later in your relationship, after many childhood stories Atreus shared with you, you realized how wrong you were. You apologized to Kratos over family dinner.

When you two have a fight, he'd storm off, usually out of the house. He'd return after a few hours with flowers or other gifts to apologize, and would be cool to sit down and talk about your issues.

Freya

She's a florist/herbalist, has a dainty flower shop on the street where you live. Before you two got together you often went and got flowers for your mother.

She'd insist that you pursued her first.

Has lots of plants in the apartment, and a small herbal garden on the balcony.

If you're good with plants, she'd argue which plant loves her the most. If not, you're forbidden from even going near her babies.

The pair of you each own a cat before your relationship, but somehow both of the cats seem to like/obey her more.

She has published several books about herbalism, led a few workshops, and there's a small community on social media praising her work. You often joke that it's her little cult.

Your parents adore her, especially your mother. Whenever you two went over for dinner they'd hang out in the kitchen, cooking and chatting. To your parents, Freya would be the one to go to for opinions of stuff instead of you.

Your mother knits her a sweater every winter. You don't even get a hand-made sweater from your mother that often.

Had a marriage with a businessman before, and had a son who died in an accident. She has the son's photo on her phone's lock screen, and would curse every time the businessman shows up on the news.

Has a twin brother who she worries about all the time. He travels around and is rarely home, when he's home she'd cook him a meal fit for a king.

When she was young she had to work several different jobs to raise herself and her brother. Even though she doesn't have to worry about finance or her brother anymore, a lot of the time she still acts as a "mother", you'd have to remind her to lean on you more.

You two often go for a weekend drive, have picnics at the beach or in the forest, enjoying nature together. For some reason small animals like birds or squirrels- sometimes foxes and rabbits- love her.

Every month you two go help at the local rescue center on at least one of the weekends. It still amazes you how she knows herbal remedies for animals.

You'd apologize first every time when you had an argument. Most of the time it would be your fault anyways. Your queen could never be wrong.

Freyr

He's the lead singer/songwriter of a popular band, doing alternative music. The band has a decent amount of followers but their music is mediocre. You had a theory that most of their fans are in love with the band members, not their music. (He wouldn't agree though)

Very charismatic, often is surrounded by a bunch of people in social situations. It's hard not to feel jealous, but every time when he sees you from the crowd, he'd pish whatever conversation aside and get to you.

Sometimes you go visit him when he's on tour, his band-mates adore you, but would constantly make fun of him, saying he talks about you too much.

An indoor person, doesn't like going out very much. He claims that it's because he travels a lot for work, and he wants to be as still as possible in his spare time.

Has long hair, and often has it in a messy bun. Sometimes you'd feel playful and ask to braid his hair. He'd let you, and if he has a show in a few days he'd make sure the braids last till then, and would tell the whole crowd you did his hair.

He's a great cook, often cooks for you. He explained that he used to cook a lot when he was a kid.

Definitely a gamer, and is very competitive. Although he is not a poor loser, and would let you win if you lose too much.

Sings in the shower. Before you moved to a better apartment with better sound-proofed walls, your neighbors often come to knock on the door to complain about how loud he is. (yes other aspects as well he is looooud)

Obviously, he sings for you all the time. He claims that after you two got together, all of the songs he made are either for you or about you.

And he praises you all the time, you often giggle at the creative compliments.

He's more into anniversaries than you, insists that you celebrate every one of them. From the day you first met to the day you move in with him. Even when he's away on the tour, he'd make sure to send you presents/flowers and facetime you.

Also very into holidays, he makes sure he would be home during any of the holidays. Sometimes you two visit Freya and celebrate together.

Bought you a puppy for your birthday, though in fact he was the one who wanted the puppy. He fell in love at first sight at the store and insisted on getting the pup. He named the golden retriever Ingrid.

Has a twin sister, you've met her a few times. Every time you see her you think that "majestic" is the perfect word for her. Though she's very friendly.

You'd ask her about his favorite food, and cook it for him, surprising him when he gets home.

You two don't really fight, he'd make it up to you before you even get upset. And you are absolutely perfect in his eyes.

adult!Angraboda

She's an artist, known for her unique way of utilizing color.

You first met at her exhibition, you didn't expect to be fascinated by this random artist at the exhibition your friend dragged you to. Soon you became her number-one fan, showing up at all of her exhibitions.

She'd recognize you and come greet you every time, greetings gradually evolved into coffee and dinner dates. Then it became nightly phone calls. One night she just blurted out a confession over the phone.

You two share a studio apartment, allowing you each to have your own space while enjoying each other's company.

She's pretty messy. When you first moved in, her stuff was left everywhere, you could find brushes on the stove, remote in the fridge, and clothes on the back of every chair you own. You had to teach her how to be more organized (her manager was very grateful). Now she keeps her messiness in her own space.

She's an animal lover, owns two dogs and three cats. Whenever you two watch something together and some animal shows up, she'd wanna have them as a pet.

She doesn't drive, she either takes public transport or rides a bike.

She doesn't really like living in the city, and is saving money to buy a little country house.

A spiritual person. You always find some crystals in the house, sometimes, she'd drop some rocks in your bag claiming it would help with fatigue or anxiety. The apartment always smells nice with the burning incent.

She also loves to bake, often experiments with different recipes, adding a sweet and buttery smell to the apartment.

You learned how to meditate from her. When you start working from home, she'd grab you every afternoon to do a 30 min meditation.

You do weekly pamper nights together, having face masks on, rubbing each other's feet, watching movies, and catching up.

Eventually you two would move to a nice little country house. And slowly but surely she would turn it into a small farm with sheep and chicken and goat and other animals.

You would get a secondhand car so it's easier to get groceries. You'd give her a ride if she has work in the city, and have a launch date in your favorite cafe.

You two never fight, whatever problem you have you are always comfortable talking to each other.

[jokertrap-ran]

(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Osborn’s 5✩ Inspiration: Congealing Azure Light [碧珀凝光] Date Translation (END 5: Heart-Throb)

“If you don’t teach me, then don’t even think about going back. Lemme guess, your little treat must have already been put into the oven, right?”

*Light and Night Master-list | Osborn’s Personal Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *This 5✩ Inspiration has 5 Endings!! *Osborn’s tag will be #For Night, For Freedom *Requested by anon! Here's the long awaited last part!

✥ Choice: Heart-throb [心动] ★Night★

Where should we start this creative journey of ours…?

⊹ Go to the Kitchen⊹

MC: Since we’re going to be giving it to someone we like, how about we… go to the kitchen and make some tasty food?

Ah Qiang: Yes! I love desserts!

Hearing the words "tasty food", the children instantly perk up, swarming around me. I snuck a glance at Osborn. He was sighing at the taste of freedom.

Ah Qiang guided our little group to the kitchen.

The children all chattered happily the entire way there. However, my ears picked up on a small argument amidst the chattering.

Ah Zhen: Ah Qiang, do you really know how to make desserts?

Xiaodie: I bet he doesn't! All he knows is how to waste food!

Ah Qiang: Who says? I might even be better than you at making them!

Ah Zhen: Why don't we challenge each other then? Boys against girls!

Ah Zhen's suggestion was immediately supported by the other children as voices of affirmation resounded through the crowd. They then formed two distinct groups.

Suddenly, someone tugged me to the side, and I was brought to join the girls. Ah Zhen raised her chin as she stood next to me, shooting the boys a proud look of determination. The boys instantly started panicking.

Ah Qiang: W-We still have big brother Osborn on our side!

Confusion was written all over Osborn’s face as he was pulled into the boys’ group. And I faced a similar predicament, just that it was girls on my side, as we both walked to opposite ends of the kitchen.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Facing the flour, whisking machine, and butter laid out on the counter, I thought long and hard. But, I could only remember how to make cupcakes, no matter how hard I tried. Hence, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.

Melt the butter, then add the sugar and flour. The whisking machine whirred as it whisked the mix. Soon, a golden-yellow batter was produced.

I poured the batter into small paper cupcake cups and was just about to put them all into the oven when Ah Zhen walked up to me.

Ah Zhen: And who are you going to give these cakes to, big sister?

MC: To everyone, of course. Because you’re all precious friends of mine.

Ah Zhen: Huh? But Big Brother might get sad if you don’t make him a special gift.

I’d originally intended for him to eat the cupcakes with the rest, but now that she puts it like that… I froze, feeling slightly awkward about it.

MC: He probably wouldn’t… “Sad” doesn’t really exist in his dictionary, haha.

However, she held up her hands and wiggled her fingers.

Ah Zhen: Trust me, big sister! I’m a powerful witch who can read the minds of others!

She then winks before leaving, causing my thoughts to drift to Osborn, who was working in the other kitchen.

MC: He’s neither good with children nor at cooking. He must have it hard…

Yeah, maybe I should make a little something for him. He is a “big kid” after all.

Since I only had a limited time to work with, I decided to go with Madeleines.

However, I had only made them once in my life. I quickly searched up the recipe on my phone and quickly melted the butter and put in the baking powder…

My actions unwittingly sped up when I thought about the look that’d cross his face upon receiving the Madeleine.

Once it was ready, I quickly placed the batter-filled molds into the oven as well.

A wave of relief washed over me as soon as the oven started up.

MC: There! It’s so hot in the kitchen. Maybe I should go out for some air.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

The long corridor was empty, save for the children’s laughter that came through the door.

I was happily imagining how the finished cake was going to taste when a door on the side opened, and a hand darted out, pulling me in.

MC: !!!

Osborn: Don't scream. It's me.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Shocked, I shoot him a baleful glare, only to find him looking a little panicked.

Osborn: Quick, teach me how to make a Tiramisu.

MC: Pfft… I knew it!

I was mid-snicker when Osborn approached me threateningly.

Osborn: Quickly! That demon’s waiting for me. A Tiramisu is hard to make, okay!?

MC: I genuinely recommend that you make something simpler instead.

Osborn: You think I didn’t tell him that? Of course, I did! But no, the kid insisted on a tiramisu because it had some sort of special meaning behind it.

MC: Well…

I suddenly remembered the allusions behind a Tiramisu.

MC: Ohhhh! Is he giving it to someone he likes? Wow, never saw that one coming.

Osborn: The kid called “Ah Qiang” wants to make one. He doesn’t know how, so he’s been pestering me about it.

Osborn: I searched up several tutorials on my phone, but there were some things I couldn’t understand, so explain them to me, please?

He held up his phone before me, but I turned away.

MC: But we're opposing teams now. Wouldn’t I be betraying the girls if I were to teach you how to?

Osborn: Oh? So you're not gonna teach me？

MC: No-pe.

I grinned triumphantly. Oh, dear Osborn, you finally got your just desserts!

He probably hadn’t expected me to reject him so brutally, for he rubbed his forehead, seemingly at his wit’s end.

Then, he freezes. His eyes narrowed dangerously as he put both hands against the wall, caging me within the small space.

Osborn: If you don’t teach me, then don’t even think about going back. Lemme guess, your little treat must have already been put into the oven, right?

Osborn: Who knows what will become of them if a certain someone isn’t there to retrieve them in time?

MC: ...Osborn?

Osborn: Hm?

MC: Are you dumb? All ovens come with a timer.

Osborn suddenly stiffens as the realization hits. His eyes flit around awkwardly.

But something soon clicked in his head, and the smile returned to his face once more.

Osborn: Well, don’t you still need to adjust the temperature?

You freeze at that. Didn’t the recipe say something about turning down the heat somewhere through mid-bake?

Now it was my turn to be shell-shocked.

Looking at the muscular arms caging me in on both sides, I realized that I had absolutely no chance at escape. Hence, I shot him a flattering smile.

MC: Fine, fine. You win, boss man. Leave my cake unscathed!

Osborn: And why’s that?

MC: Because… the happiness of many kids are at stake! Do you really have the heart to rip their smiles away?

Osborn: Absolutely.

I stared him down for a long while, refusing to back down, but I eventually backed down in defeat.

I took his phone and quickly warned him in hushed tones.

BANG! Suddenly, the door slams open.

I panicked for a moment, wanting to hide myself out of guilt. However, there was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide in this empty room.

Ah Zhen was standing just outside the door when she spotted us both. She suddenly pointed at us with a shaky finger and a shout.

Ah Zhen: You two! What are you two whispering about!?

MC: N-Nothing! Hear me out-

Ah Zhen: La la la, I can’t hear you!

She covered her ears, shouting as she ran out of the door. We could hear her loud and clear despite the distance she’d put between us.

Ah Zhen: Big sister got seduced by big brother! She has betrayed us!

My face flushed red, but Osborn only quietly smirked beside me. I swiftly smacked him on the chest in anger.

MC: This is on you!

Osborn: So you were seduced by me? My, I couldn’t tell.

MC: As if!

Osborn: Who knew that kids had such sharp eyes?

Pushing him away, I swiftly made my way out.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

The girls all turned to face me with looks of betrayal the moment I got back to our kitchen. It took me a long time before I finally got them to believe me, albeit reluctantly.

A delectable aroma wafted from the oven. I pulled open the glass door and looked inside, only to have my mind blown. 

The cupcakes turned out perfectly white and plump, giving off an enticingly sweet aroma. On the other hand, all the Madeleines that I'd baked had turned into unidentifiable charred lumps.

MC: I really shouldn't have baked them together… I don't think these have any chance of being saved.

I was in the middle staring and lamenting at the product of my wrong choices when a curious head popped up beside me. It was Ah Zhen, who'd followed the delicious smell all the way here.

Ah Zhen: These cupcakes smell so good! What's this though? Chocolate cake?

She reached out and was just about to touch it when I quickly pulled her away.

MC: Uh, those are burnt cakes. They taste terrible, so don't touch them, okay?

Ah Zhen: Oh…

Ah Zhen nodded and left obediently. With the time limit close at hand, I quickly placed the cupcakes into a basket, ignoring the Madeleines that had been burnt into charcoal.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Soon, everyone gathered at the Orphanage’s small lawn with their own baskets of food in tow. 

It was now the peak of the morning when the sun shone the most comfortably. The gentle breeze carried the refreshing scent of the grass and trees alike. We laid picnic mats on the green and lush lawn

The girls were the first to show their creations— An array of colorful and cute cakes, bread, cookies, and sweets.

I took out my cupcakes to add to their brilliant array of sweet creations. Everyone quickly rushed forward and swiped all of the goodies clean once they heard that they all had a share made for them. 

The girls felt confident enough that surely, they’d won this round. They then urged the boys to show their creations too.

Ah Zhen: What did you make, Ah Qiang?

Xiaodie: Which one’s big brother’s? I wanna see it!

Unfazed and unaffected by everyone’s watchful gaze, Ah Qiang and Osborn both produced a beautiful pink-colored box.

Ah Qiang opened his. Inside, was an actual tiramisu. Although it wasn’t very pretty, we could all tell that he’d put in lots of effort. 

They succeeded in making it! I turned to look at Osborn in surprise and just so happened to meet his eyes. He shot me a sly wink.

Xiaodie: Whoa! Cake! It looks really good… Can I eat some!?

Ah Qiang: No, you can’t! This one’s for Ah Zhen.

Ah Qiang bashfully lowered his head in apology, his voice growing smaller along with it.

Ah Zhen smoothly caught the verbal ball while the others gave an envious gasp.

Ah Zhen: Thank you. The witch shall grant your wish.

As Ah Zhen tucked the box safely under her own cloak, the other kids turned their attention to yet another one of the many boxes.

Xiaoqiu: And who are you going to give your cake to, big brother?

Osborn immediately shifted his seating posture into a rather awkward one as he placed a box before me.

Osborn: Try it. I can't vouch for the taste though.

MC: It's for me? Thanks.

I opened the box to see a piece of tiramisu within…

However, Ah Qiang’s tiramisu was decorated with one blueberry, while Osborn's was garnished with a layer of yellow-coloured lemon-flavored fudge.

Xiaodie: Huh? Why's it… the same type of cake?

Xiaoqiu: And what do you know? Ah Qiang likes Ah Zhen, and big brother likes big sister! Of course, their cake's the same!

Osborn’s eyes fall upon me. There was nowhere to hide; my panic was bared in front of him in all its entirety.

Osborn: This thing’s way too complicated to make. After I finished helping Ah Qiang make his, I didn’t have time to try making anything else, so I just went with the same thing.

MC: Oh…

I felt too embarrassed to face him for a while, fixating my eyes on the tiny piece of tiramisu.

Despite it being cut all crooked, and its top layer not being completely coated in cocoa powder, the thought of Osborn putting in the effort to decorate it despite being as clumsy as he is makes my heartbeat race.

Reluctant to speak, I placed it on the ground and snapped several pictures, but it still felt like something was lacking.

MC: Osborn, can you hold it and let me take a picture?

Osborn: More pictures? Snap too many and I might just eat it.

I quickly snatched the cake back and took a small hesitant bite.

Osborn: How’s it?

MC: Hmm… Yummy.

Osborn: What’s with that sigh of relief? Are you really that untrusting of my skills?

MC: Ahaha, of course not~ It actually looks pretty good for your first time!

Osborn: I knew it wouldn't be so bad.

Osborn: Everything turns out fine as long as I’m serious about it.

He smiled and extended his hand towards me with a proud look on his face.

Osborn: Alright, where’s mine then? I’ve been waiting really long now.

MC: Yours?

Osborn: Yeah. Where's my return gift?

I then recalled the plate of charred Madeleines and averted my eyes in guilt.

MC: Everyone has their own cupcake. Didn’t you already eat yours?

Osborn: I don't get a special one?

Osborn moved closer, his eyes bright with anticipation. Faced with such a look, I found it hard to voice the “no” that was lying on the tip of my tongue…

Ah Zhen: There’s something! Big sis (y/n) prepared something for you, big brother!

Ah Zhen’s voice cuts through my thoughts as she magically procures a box from under her cloak under everyone’s curious gazes.

Ah Zhen: Here it is! I knew that you’d be unhappy if you didn’t receive any gift, big brother!

Ah Zhen: So this clever little witch has brought it out for you!

Osborn: I see now. Thank you, clever little witchling.

A bad feeling niggles at me, starting to make itself known. However, before I could react, Osborn had already snatched up the box!

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

The box was nicely wrapped up in a gold-colored cloth with a floral pattern. He weighed the box with a thoughtful look before facing me with a smile.

Osborn: Now what goodie did you make, and why don't you wanna let me have some?

MC: You won't want to eat it. Trust me!

I quickly reached out to grab at it. There was only one thought in my mind- I can’t let Osborn open it!

He simply got up in the face of my advances and walked a couple of steps away. He undid the cloth covering it and opened the lid of the box.

I quickly chased after him and tried to grab the box again, but he only stretched his arm out before turning around and lifting the box higher in the air. The smile he had on his face oozed with smugness.

Osborn: Now that you’re trying this hard to reclaim this, you’re only making me even more curious.

I circled around him, frantically jumping in an attempt to nab it from him.

But no matter how hard I tried, all he did was dance out of my reach. I was out of breath after a while of hopping about.

Taking advantage of how I was out of breath, Osborn rounded back to the picnic mat and seated himself. Then, he placed the box on his lap, and…

MC: Wait, no! Don’t open it!

Before I could finish, he’s already pried open the box.

My black Madeleines, charred beyond all recognition despite the effort I took to bake it, was out in the open for everyone to see.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Osborn's hand stilled. He looked slightly shocked at the sight.

Osborn: This is… food?

MC: It was meant to be… edible.

MC: I wanted to make them for you, but it turned out to be a failure…

I was ready to slam the lid back down on the box when Osborn swiped a piece of it right under my nose.

Osborn: Still gonna try it.

MC: Wait, no- Hey!

Seeing that he was about to put the black, charred, failure of a thing into his mouth, I quickly reached out to stop him.

But all he did was shimmy a little to the back to completely slip out of my reach.

He narrowed his eyes in mischief as he leaned backward.

Osborn: You've put so much effort into it, it's only fitting that I try some.

Saying so, he put it into his mouth.

It was for a fleeting moment, but I didn't miss the slight furrow of his brow.

MC: How does it taste…?

Osborn: Hm, definitely something I'll never forget in my entire lifetime...

MC: ……

Osborn: But having room for improvement isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Osborn: I’m very patient when it comes to deserts tailored especially for me.

Osborn: I’m looking forward to your next one.

The cheery laughter of the children seems to recede, leaving only his low voice in the background along with the sweet aroma wafting out of the box of treats.

He gently pats my head and gives me a smile overflowing with warmth. I nodded in slight embarrassment.

Osborn: It's a deal then.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

✥ Choose your Ending:

END 1 | Choice: Do Nothing [都不做]

END 2 + 3 | Choice: Approach [亲近] ⊹Touch⊹

END 4 | Choice: Listen [倾听] ❖ASMR

END 5 | Choice: Heart-throb [心动] ★Night★

❖☆————— ⊹ For Night, For Freedom⊹ —————★❖

Previous Part: Prologue

[wearelondonhq]

TWILIGHT SAGA SENTENCE STARTERS.   feel free to change pronouns   /   change the sentence(s) to your liking.  

Happy Meme Day!!! If you want to take part all you have to do is reblog this post. Remember if you reblog to send them out to EVERYONE who also does. Meme lasts from today until the next Sunday (the 26th of May).

❛  i’ve got it,  i’ve got it!  i’m all right!  ❜

❛  you fell down two flights of stairs.  you went through a window.  ❜

❛  i’ll do whatever it takes to make you safe again.  ❜

❛  you’re in here because of me.  ❜

❛  ( name ),  calm down,  everything’s alright.  ❜

❛  you just can’t say stuff like that to me.  ever.  ❜

❛  rip him apart and burn the pieces.  ❜

❛  where else am i gonna go?  ❜

❛  where should i meet you?  ❜

❛  i put a new can of pepper spray in your bag.  ❜

❛  i’d never given much thought to how i’d die.  ❜

❛  c’mon,  we gotta talk boys!  are you being safe?  ❜

❛  dying in the place of someone i love seems like a good way to go.  ❜

❛  i have to go home now.  you have to take me home.  ❜

❛  you were a stubborn child,  weren’t you?  ❜

❛  when everything’s done,  i’m going to come back and get you.  ❜

❛  leave me alone!  it’s over!  get out!  ❜

❛  that’s gonna be a home run,  right?  ❜

❛  i’m gonna make it go away.  i’ll make it go away.  ❜

❛  what am i gonna say to him?  ❜

❛  death is peaceful.  easy.  life is harder.  ❜

❛  i just want to try one thing.  stay really still.  ❜

❛  i can’t hurt him.  ❜

❛  ( name ),  you are my life now.  ❜

❛  this isn’t real.  this kind of stuff doesn’t exist.  ❜

❛  we can do more stuff together.  ❜

❛  you’re not gonna drive home right now.  ❜

❛  ( name ), c’mon. i just—  i just got you back.  ❜

❛  why don’t you lemme drive?  ❜

❛  if i don’t leave now then i’m just gonna be stuck here like _.  ❜

❛  what if he kills one of us first?  ❜

❛  babe,  c’mon,  it’s just a game.  ❜

❛  is it enough just to have a long and happy life with me?  ❜

❛  i’ll keep her safe,  ( name ).  ❜ ❛  you’re ready right now?  ❜

❛  i/we won’t be bothering you anymore.  ❜

❛  i dream about being with you forever.  ❜

❛  if anything happens,  i swear to god.  ❜ ❛ 

❝ I decided as long as I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly. ❞

❝ I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.❞

❝ What if I'm the bad guy/girl/person? ❞    

❝ Do I dazzle you? ❞

❝ The right thing isn't always real obvious. ❞

❝ You’re still waiting for the running and the screaming, aren’t you? ❞

❝ I am not really breaking any rules. ❞

❝ You think I regret saving your life? ❞

❝ I always say too much when I'm talking to you. That's one of the problems. ❞

❝ I know love and lust don't always keep the same company. ❞

❝ Do you like scary stories? ❞

❝ No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end. ❞

❝ I miss you. ❞

❝ Distract me, please.  ❞

❝ You really should stay away from me. ❞

❝ It's too easy to be myself with you. ❞

❝ It's not the end. It's the beginning. ❞

❝ Your hair looks like a haystack, but I like it. ❞

❝ I'd rather know what you're thinking - even if what you're thinking is insane. ❞

❝ Can't you just thank me and get over it? ❞

❝ You've got a bit of a temper, don't you? ❞

❝ I don’t like to lie – so there’d better be a good reason why I’m doing it. ❞

❝ Without the dark, we'd never see the stars. ❞

❝ I hate you for making me want you so much. ❞

❝ Immortality must grant endless patience. ❞

❝ I'd rather die than stay away from you. ❞

❝ I love you. It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's still true. ❞

❝ I wished there was some way to explain how very uninterested I was in a normal human life. ❞

❝ I'm feeling extremely insignificant! ❞

BONUS! UNDER THE CUT, FIND A FEW MORE FROM NEW MOON AND ECLIPSE:

"what  part  of  'mortal  enemies'  is  too  complicated  for  you  to—"

"i  don't  think  you  should  dump  all  your  other  friends  for  your  boyfriend."

"sure,  sure.  i'll  stop  by  your  crypt  after  school."

"do  you  really  think  hurting  her  is  better  than  protecting  her?"

"i  thought  it  would  be  something  faintly  realistic."

"look  after  my  heart  —  i've  left  it  with  you."

"if  i  get  hurt,  it  was  because  i  tripped."

"i'm    not    going    to    hide    out    in    the    forest    while    you    all    take    risks    for    me."

"let's    get    this    stupid    party    over    with."

"i    am    not    really    breaking    any    rules."

"i    wondered    why    i    was    being    so    formal.    must    be    the    nerves."

"how  can  we  be  friends,  when  we  love  each  other  like  this?"

“you  try  very  hard  to  make  up  for  something  that  was  never  your  fault.”

“you  didn’t  choose  this  kind  of  life,  and  yet  you  have  to  work  so  hard  to  be  good.”

“you’re  the  very  best  part  of  my  life.”

“it  was  exactly  what  was  to  be  expected.”

“i’d  rather  deal  with  real  zombies  than  watch  a  romance.”

“can  i  help  you  with  something?  you  look  lost.”

“your  friends  are  a  lot  more  interesting  than  mine.”

“five  foot  four  is  perfectly  average.”

“you’re  like  a  little  doll.”

“do  i  look  like  i  tripped  in  your  garage  and  hit  my  head  on  a  hammer?”

“you  can  be  so  out  of  it  sometimes.”

“i’m  in  the  mood  for  action.  bring  on  the  blood  and  guts!”

[stellamancer]

hamburger emoji (implied katsuki bakugou x reader)

notes: hello, local deku lover here with yet another emotional support bakugou work. not sure why i go into depressive moods and decide ‘i think it’s a fine day to write about bakugou comforting me outta this’ since i go back and look at it and thing ‘wait is this even ic???’ lmao. also completely unedited because lazy lmao. 

It’s the world shattering sound of someone banging on your door that wakes you from your hibernation. 

You consider for a moment, maybe two, ignoring it. If it’s one of those door to door salespeople or some weirdo Christian missionaries they’ll leave after a few minutes when no one answers. Sure enough, the commotion at your front door grows silent and you start to ease back into dreamland. 

Until you hear the click of your lock. 

Now you’re wide awake, sitting up straight and wondering what to do next. If you were fully awake and your brain working at full capacity you would know that the only people who would be able to unlock your door are your friends whose fingerprints are registered with your door’s smart lock. However, you’re still half asleep and wondering if you should take an offensive stance or hurl yourself under the bed for protection. 

You choose the latter.

“What the hell are you doin’?” Bakugou’s voice is all bewilderment and for a split second you relax knowing the identity of your home invader, but then the fact that it’s him has you scrambling to get all the way underneath the bed frame because Bakugou might be worse than any random person breaking into your apartment. 

But you’re too slow, he manages to grab you by an ankle and using his stupid absurd strength he yanks you out from under the bed. When your eyes meet you give him a sheepish smile. “...hi?”

The frown is fixed on his face like a brand. “Well?”

“Well what?” you feign innocence, but it only serves to make him look even more annoyed.

“Cut the crap,” he snaps. “What were ya doin’ down there?”

“Um, well,” you pause, considering your possible explanations before settling on the truth. “I thought someone was breaking in and was trying to hide.”

His eye twitches. 

“Anyway, um, what brings you here today? It’s, um, Friday, right?”

Bakugou snorts. “Try Sunday, dumbass.”

You laugh. “Oh. I knew that, I was just testing you.”

That was the wrong thing to say, you realize, as Bakugou glares down at you, teeth glinting in an absolutely terrifying grin. “A test, huh? Then lemme ask you a question: why the hell haven’t you answered your phone for the past two fucking days?”

“Forgot to put it on the charger,” you answer almost instantly, almost perfectly practiced.

He scoffs and reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. Bakugou jams his fingers against the screen and a few seconds later you hear your phone ringing somewhere up on the bed. Bakugou is silent, but the smug look on his face says enough. 

You look away. “...I just… you know. “

Bakugou doesn’t respond, instead he pulls you up from off the ground. “....you eat yet?”

You open your mouth and he adds, an annoyed afterthought. “And don’t fucking lie about it either.”

“...no.”

He sighs. “...figured. I’m gonna use yer kitchen then. Go taking a fucking shower or something.”

You’re about to protest, but Bakugou eyes you threateningly. “Unless ya want me to wash your back or some shit.”

The look in his eyes makes it clear that he’s not intending to be nice about it if he helps bathe you. Whether that means he’s going to be rough with his scrubbing or his words, you don’t know nor do you want to. 

“No, I’m fine!” you squeak, moving to grab some clothes to change into. He watches as you scurry off toward the bathroom.

“If I don’t hear the water running in five minutes, I’m comin’ in to check on ya!” he threatens and you make sure to have it running in three. 

Sometime later, when you emerge from the shower, now fresh and clean, you find Bakugou in your kitchen, finely mincing up some vegetables. You eye the bags on the counter and realize he must have gone to the store before coming here.

“So, um,” you hedge. “What…. What are you making?”

“Hamburger steak,” he answers and it’s the first time since he’s got here today that he doesn’t sound agitated. “With some vegetables and shit.” 

“...shit?”

Bakugou points the knife threateningly at you. “You know what I mean, idiot.”

“...In Bakugou speak ‘shit’ can mean different things.”

“You know, yer pretty mouthy for someone who hasn’t eaten all damn day.”

“What can I say, it’s a special talent.” You nonchalantly wave your hand. 

Bakugou scoffs and lowers the knife. You think for a moment that your fabulous wit may have silenced the beast but then you notice him trade the knife for a spoon. He grabs a container and shovels a small bit of the contents onto a spoon and then thrusts that in your face. 

“...what’s this?” you ask, craning your head back to try and get a good look at it. 

“Shit.”

“Well if it’s—” He shoves the spoon into your mouth mid-sentence. It seems that right now ‘shit’ is pasta salad. You chew thoughtfully and swallow. 

Bakugou looks at you expectantly. 

“I’m not that big on pasta salad,” you start, reveling in how his lips turn into a frown. “But yours is pretty good. Not too much mayo.”

He looks satisfied with that and returns to his chopping.

After a minute of watching him you decide to ask your real question. “So, um. Why are you here?”

“...you seriously asking?”

“Uh. Yeah?”

Bakugou scowls. “...don’t be a fucking idiot. It’s only fucking natural to be concerned if some dumbass homebody doesn’t answer their damn phone for a couple days.”

“So you were just checking up on me?”

Bakugou gives you a pointed look before he starts mixing the stuff he was chopping up with what looks like ground meat in a bowl. You watch him in silence as he continues to prep the stuff for the hamburger steak, unsure of what you should say, if anything. 

You don’t know if you should apologize for making him worry. He’s a busy guy and he took time to come to your apartment and make you food instead of relaxing at home or doing whatever he does with his free time. But if you apologize, surely he’ll berate you for it. Tell you to at least respond to some of the missed texts you have so people don’t worry. 

So instead, you say, “...thanks.” 

“...’s nothin’,” he grouches. “Just fuckin’ answer your phone next time.”

“....even if I feel like human garbage?”

“Especially then, idiot. How’s anyone gonna know if you don’t tell anyone?”

“It’s not that easy.”

Bakugou is silent as he shapes the hamburger patties and you take that as him acknowledging your point. A minute passes and after he’s satisfied with the patty in his hands he moves over to the sink and washes his hands. You watch him curiously, noticing that there’s still a fair amount of meat left in the mixing bowl that hasn’t been formed yet. Bakugou dries his hands on a kitchen towel and reaches his hand into his pocket and pulls out his phone again. 

Then he shoves the screen in your face. It’s opened to your messages and in the text box is a single emoji. 

“If y'feel like shit just send me this,” he instructs.

“A hamburger?” you ask, squinting at it. 

“I know what it fucking is,” he growls. “It’s the closest thing to a hamburger steak.”

Fair point. You look beyond the screen to him. “But why?” 

Bakugou rolls his eyes like it’s supposed to be obvious. “So I know to come feed you, idiot. You’ll feel less shitty if y'eat.”

“Okay, but why a hamburger…?” You pause, and then ‘correct’ yourself. “Or well, I guess it’s meant to be hamburger steak here.”

“It’s your favorite food, ain’t it?”

You stare at him for a second, contemplating which of the two responses in your head you want to voice. Then, you pick one. “...yeah, yeah it is.”

Bakugou nods and goes back to cooking while you sit and watch, wondering how he knew your favorite food. 

And how the answer to that should be obvious. 

Though you won’t know for sure if he tells you.

If he ever does.

[fatestayyuri]

Finished Ward Act 2.

thoughts under cut.

I live in hell, lament.

I don't mean to be a hater more than like, what's comedic in the liveblogs to sell the bit. but also whenever i give this fucking serial an inch it throws sand in my eyes and spits on my face. when i go "oh this interaction with children is sweet, i'm glad that Vicky is at least to get some measure of comfort vicariously" they hit me with the "actually one of them might be powered so we have to funnel them into the paramiltary death squad fasttrack" and "Victoria is now going to be a freelance strikebreaker, but this time with Less Oversight". she also wants to fuck her therapist so like, sure. fuck it. i guess we're at that point now.

it's so fucked up very clearly seeing the artifice surrounding the actual genuine compelling core of the story of someone with terminal copbrain due to her trauma and upbringing learning to heal get fucking, impaled fourteen hundred times over by Wildbow moments. There's nascent themes here! of healing! of loss! of taking uneasy, shaky steps forward and trying to mesh the inherent hypocrisy of knowing your abuser deserves a second chance but feeling like that you'd rather kill both of you than be the one to give it to them. I Get It. i really do. but also please stop framing the strikebreaking like it's a good thing.

Sorry i just need to go on here to say that it's supremely funny to me that throwing cars in front of people during a panicked evacuation because they disrespected her Special Baby Girl authority is AFTER all of the conflict counselling is so fucking good. Like??? this is after, huh. it's okay since civies aren't people i suppose, just cargo and luggage

I'm not actually sure if wildbow knows what a strike is. "they're not striking, the two construction groups have just banded together to withhold labor", you say? I don't know maybe it's an intentional oversight on the character's part but at least mention that, goddamn. was he really that proud of the insult Glory Hole to use it twice, too? every time he tries to be witty i genuinely sink into my seat and start boiling alive in second-hand shame. that flirting scene was fucking terrible and the "wow so witty" he gave himself was fucking terrible.

^Wild thing to put slip in there, by the way. "yeah they acted like a union, y'know, making sure the kids were educated, sane, not being SLUTS, not being abused, etc etc"

These writeups aren't edited or like cohesive or coherent at all almost entirely because if wildbow doesn't feel the need to why should i. fuck off, it's ward.

oh right! the therapy group! the therapy group pisses me off so much dude I hate that i love them all i hate that their dynamics are good i hate that they have good chemistry and play off each other and that they feel believable and I hate that i'm gonna read more of this just to see them. Fuck me

uhhh lemme just go down the list... I haven't been given enough information on Chris but I'm liking what i'm seeing tbh, he's cagey and kind of idealistic but also he's like. 13. that's just how they are it's very convincing

Kenzie is good! i like her! she[realises i'm gonna write "is very convincing and compelling for all of these] uhhhhh mirrors a lot of the hangups i had as a kid but also I do in fact completely understand why everyone else wanted me Not In Danger back then

Ashley is too good and hot for Victoria "Cop" Dallon. that is all.

Byron and Tristan are a really interesting character concept to me actually; I have cogent thoughts whirling around in my brain but the only joke i have is that what if they starred in a variant of All or Nothing wouldn't that be fucked up

Rain O' Fire Frazier. She's so trans-coded it's unreal. I love her and how fucked up she is and how she's literally just in this to not get Murderized by her metaphorical family. Girl Same. It is really funny that she gets introduced with a functional kanji pun,

shows up with all her shit fucked up and cracked,

and then leaves with the closest thing of explicit lesbianism that Wildbow has written other than Victoria Dallon's weird thing with the milf therapist.

but from what i hear of Wildbow i'm pretty sure he'll add in a passage about her wanting to settle down with a nice Decidedly Male guy and get pregnant or whatever.

the main thing about Sveta is that she goes "well i *see* myself as disabled" while being like. a quadruple amputee. girl if you are not disabled who is

god. i love these characters. it's such a shame that they're gonna become cops. i hate it here. i hate that i'm gonna read like 1.8 million more words of this. fuck me. fuuuuuuuuuuck.

all in all 7/10 so far

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

Hey! I love your Beetlejuice stories on A03, all of them are wonderful. Do you have any tips on writing the Maitlands? You write them so well, keeping them sweet while giving them depth.

you're so sweet! this got super long so its under a cut. please keep in mind that these are my interpretations of canon and you might disagree and that's totally fine!

Lemme break these into specifics for each one cause while theyre a matching set and should not be separated they're also pretty different! Barbara- the more out going one between the two of them, more willing to jump into new situations. i think of her as someone adam can lean on, and because of that their marriage is a little non traditional, despite what beej might say, since she's the one more likely to do things that scare her and sort of lead the two of them. barbara should be sweet, empathetic, and very patient, but also willing to put her foot down when it matters. she's a doormat no more. between the two of them, she's the one more interested in arts. while she might not like making pottery i think she's the more creative one - she apparently also started and gave up oil painting (the painting she smashes) i read her as someone who comes from religious trauma but that also might just be me putting my own baggage on her. she just feels like someone who would/could have been more outgoing if she hadnt been raised in a very traditional way, where women are a step below their husbands. i dont think that believe holds true in her marriage obviously but it's engrained to some degree that she needs to behave like the perfect wife/mother. this could also be part of where her anxiety about being a mother stems from (this part obviously is VERY personal to me and her character may not read that way to you, i acknowledge this i headcannon territory here) she's also willing to push adam into things that make him nervous, because she does want her husband to stand up for her. (that moment when beej is having his soliloquy, if you watch her she's arguing with adam and telling him to say something to beetlejuice, and that's the reason why adam interrupts him) in general i think she finds things that are odd and unusual to be more funny and interesting than scary - her laughing at beetlejuice's antics in the attic a lot come to mind. Adam - the more shy one. adam is someone who i read as having a fairly heavy degree of social anxiety (there are strangers downstairs! i didn't like strangers when i was alive-) and because of that he tends to overthink and be in his own head too much. adam's fatal flaw might be that he wants to sit down and puzzle through things instead of reacting. while it's good to keep a clear head sometimes you do need to react in the moment and stand up for yourself (which he learns by the end! go adam!!!) adam loves working with his hands. while barbara creates, adam maintains. he restores furniture and does woodworking. i do like to mix movie adam with musical adam a bit, because in the movie adam owns a hardware shop, and i think that vibe also fits musical adam as well. adam leans on barbara a lot - when beej is asking them to hire him, he looks helplessly to barbara, and he's always willing to follow her lead. in a sense she wears the pants, but it doesn't read as emasculating to me - barb's strength is leading and adam's is supporting. does not like to yell or wish people unwell. THAT GUY!! NEEDS!! therapy, i hope he gets the help he needs :( to me this, combined with him honestly thinking beej might be his dad for a moment, reads as someone who had a very turbulent early childhood. a negligent or possibly abusive father who disappeared early enough in his life that adam doesn't remember his face. maybe he doesnt like to yell because that's what his own father did, and he doesnt want to be like his dad. he wants to be better than that. his not knowing his father could also lead into his fear of becoming one - he didn't have a strong father figure growing up, and he's never had that behavior modeled for him

The Maitlands as one - they should be like two halves of a whole. barb might lead, but she never steps on adam. adam might support, but his own impute is never stifled. barbara will encourage adam to be more brave and outgoing. adam will help barbara keep her temper or talk through things that frustrate her. they're so in love it's kinda gross.

[always-andromeda]

teehee hiii hello! :D im very new to the danonation community, despite being an admirer of mr paul for almost a year now,,, there's so many amazing people and content they make but, it's really overwhelming and a bit scary to explore on my own! you're one of the few people i instantly felt safe to approach so, would you be so kind as to direct me a little bit? which danonation blogs are active right now, or maybe even personal friends of yours, just to start my journey in this community? i really really wanna participate, but since i don't have a single creative bone in me and can't contribute in art or writing, the least i can do is give love to all of you lovely people!! 🥰 thank you for your time 💛

p.s. if you don't mind, i might have more questions later!

p.s.s. your blog themes are always so adorable and so so aesthetically pleasing it's amazing 😭💞

Hey hi hello, my friend!! Thank you so much!! I’m gonna leave all of my account recommendations under the cut because wHOO I went a little bonkers! Other than that, you’re always welcome to shoot me an ask whether you have a question or you just wanna say hello! Super glad to have you here and I hope that you have fun getting to know everyone and everything!!

@lost-in-sokovia

I couldn’t get through a post about talking about creators in Danonation and/or my friends without mentioning Soph. Not only is she immensely talented, but her ability to shift between writing the sweetest moments and angst is basically unmatched. Shoutout to her for warming me up to the concept of having kids tbh bc wOW I did not see that one coming! She’s also one of my closest friends on here and I would heavily recommend giving her a follow and sending an ask; she’s absolutely precious to me and deserves all the love this community can possibly give her (but that’s just my opinion 🙄).

@quietsounds

Now, if we're talking about my friends, I have to drag my wonderful Storm into the conversation as well since we met through Danonation. Storm has a wiiiide range of interests and gifs a lot of different things bUT his gif sets are fucking phenomenal. He hasn't been super active on here lately but I would still recommend dropping him a follow because lmao I am hugely biased (because I love and adore him) and because he's one of the most creative people I know and his work deserves to be seen by as many eyeballs as possible and fully appreciated.

@riddlersbimbo

Okay, I should preface that Bowie is on a bit of a hiatus and they’re kind of running on a queue schedule. However. I still adore Bowie with all of my heart. I genuinely cannot explain it; all I know is that I was born to be Bowie's biggest fan. Aside from that, they are such a pillar in this community. The work they put into giffing every Paul movie?? And furthering the Chubby!Eddie agenda?? And the bimbo agenda?? Listen, on this account, we’re all Bowie stans (lmao, new mandate, friends; we’re all Bowie stans now).

@puzzlekinq

It’s only been for the last few months that I’ve been following Ethan bUT LEMME JUST SAY. I cannot fathom how my dash survived beforehand. You can be sure that Ethan will always have something either slightly unhinged, horny, or downright hilarious to post. They also write a bit as well and it’s some damn good writing if I do say so myself!! Also literally every time they post this plays in my head (but that piece of information is more for Ethan's benefit than anyone else's lol).

@riddlers-den

I feel like almost everyone in my little circle has read or at least heard of Max’s Edward fic, Disarm. And I can confirm, Disarm is fantastic. But I also adore basically everything else of hers that I’ve read. Max’s interpretation of characters (specifically Eddie and Calvin) just makes my writing brain so happy. She is also incredibly funny, a massively talented artist, and a very lovely person to talk to and I couldn’t imagine this little community without her.

@finniestoncrane

I should preface this recommendation by saying that Finnie doesn't post purely Dano content and is more in the realm of the DC fandom in general. I would also give her content warnings a once over beforehand since they might not be everyone's cup of tea! But I still wanted to include her here because, her work and her personality has always inspired me so heavily and...goodness, I love being able to call her one of my mutuals. Her sense of humor is top notch; like truly, whenever she posts her little pictures where she draws herself as a stick figure wrapped around one of the Rogues, I lose my absolute mind. Anyways, stan Finnie too, Finnie is the coolest.

@bloomdolly

If you are in the market for a cutesy, coquettish aesthetic and Paul content wrapped up in one super sweet and kind person? Look no further than Ushuaia! I swear, every time I interact with her it feels like I’ve been hit was this pastel ray of light complete with lace frills and ribbons. She’s the absolute sweetest and the bits of her creations that she’s put out reflect that entirely and I can’t wait to see what else she can think up!

@the-odd-devil

Goodness, it feels like Odd and I have been mutuals for literally forever because they’ve been there pretty much since the beginning of this account?? I always love getting a chance to interact with them and it’s been so cool seeing them start to develop their own ideas (and I swear, Odd, I will get to your dark academia college!Eddie fic as soon as I get a chance to actually sit down and read it). Also…their 70s Pornstar!Jimmy Tree headcanons…god if they ever post about them, I will actually lose my mind.

@starlightsearches

Fun fact: Star was among the first fic writers I read from when I first got into Danonation! They are a multi-fandom blog but again, I just had to include them because their writing is fucking intoxicating and I'm sorry but I'll never get over it.

@danoberry

So this serves as apology to Wren for being awful at keeping up with fics lately because ages ago I know I promised to read one of her Calvin fics and then I never did sO I AM SO SORRY. But this also serves as me taking the chance to gush over her work. Like y'all know I will fawn over anything Joby Taylor related and her Joby fic, i'm so sick...GIRL I'M SO SICK ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEE. Like truly...I lost my mind for part of a day when she followed me because hahahah I'm a nervy little guy and I am always so hesitant to make new mutuals (especially when they're this talented goodness gracious).

@jeusschrist2005

Okay, I will admit that I'm also a little newer to their work! But goodness gracious, just from the bits I've seen of both their Joby fic and their Eli stuff, I love what I've read so far and I really wanted to include them on this list as well!!

[lowkeyclueless5137]

what’s the double genshin isekai AU?

ANON I EVEN HAVE DRAWINGS DONE, TRUST ME-

In here, for the rarepair week, I made a smol backstory of how Idia came back to twst and what role it has to the main story

Now, mind u, my sister insisted that I get genshin. I got the game like 2 days ago...

So behold! My first 20 pull:

I just wanted the penguin boi :'3

Now, under the cut, I'll explain the whole thing, top to bottom+ the drawings.

Also, please don't expect top notch loke knowledge. I'm not that invested in genshin... I only play just to unwind a bit. :'3

So... At base, it's your generic double isekai. Idia gets yeeted off twst due to the ✨ incident✨.

Except that he finds himself on a rainy day in a big city, running for some coverage. He finds a safe spot, unknowingly being at the entryway of the courthouse, where he gets found by Nevilette. Since the rain was getting worse and this kid was wounded and shivering, Nevilette takes him in the court house and treats him. Naturally, this priquires Furina's attention. The kid seems to not know anything that might give a clue about his family. He could just say his name: Idia.

So congratulations, kid, you got adopted! :D

Idia was a freakishly fast learner for his age. Nevilette wanted him to go to normal school, but Idia's fear of strangers urged both Nevilette and Furina to take the home schooling route. Wrio(I can't spell his full name for the life of me) is the occasional babysitter U_Ub

Idia, much to Furina's dismay, proved himself eligible for a vision when he intercepted an attempt at the archon's life. He was still around 9, so him taking most of the hit ended up with a long time in bed and his Shroud curse coming back.

Nevilette almost had a fricking panic attack that day, lemme tell ya. Everyone remembers that day. 030

But, when Idia wakes up, he's asked why he did what he did. He says that Furina is his big sister and he can't accept her or his papa(Nevilette) getting hurt. He maybe wasn't as great as them, but he will do his very best to protect his family.

That's when his vision appears. And it's pyro. :'3

So, as a congratulations for getting his vision, Furina purchased the finest fabric in all of Teyvat and she handmade a big bow for Idia where he could attach his vision. But because he was smol, if the bow was on the hip or back, it would incapacitate him. Instead Idia had it attached to the back of his neck, from where he braided his hair. He cherishes it because Furina went through all of that effort for him after all. While he was strapped to a bed and Nevilette was tiredlessly working at both the courthouse and towards nursing him back to health.

From there on, Idia did his best to train as the bodyguard of the hydro archon. Nevilette was at first against the idea, insisting that Idia should focus on his passions and prioritise an education before settling onto something. But Idia already made his mind and off he was. Wrio trained him, but Idia wasn't really made for punching. Thus he had to use a weapon, mainly a sword. For now, his job as a bodyguard is rarely needed when no more attempts at attacks were made, so Idia had to throw in the towel and focus on something else: schedule manager and prop management.

Idia's job is to keep track of every case and event that goes in the courthouse. He is the guy through which all the events pass first before being actually put in motion. He makes the schedule and he makes sure that everyone is up to date. Naturally it seems like a lot of talking has to be done, but Idia has his ways around, mainly putting a big panel of notes where he changes the schedule every day. People have to actively seek him out if they want a schedule change, hence why things usually run like clockwork in there. Idia manages props and tools for the more drama part of the cases after all. Not more than once did he end up dismembering smith for his curiosity needs. He knows how to build props from scratch by now. :'3

Unlike Furina, Idia is much more reserved. He hates crowded places and would do anything to pin the spotlight on someone else. He is Charlotte's biggest enemy, for the mere fact that he's impossible to even catch a proper photo of him.

And all of that reflects on his abilities as a character. For the game technicalities, he would be a pyro sword character. His basic attacks are fluid at first with a final rough strike, while for the long hold he can dash as a small flame before bursting out with a small surrounding fire damage.

His elemental attack is film cut: long strips of movie are tying 2 to 7 enemies so that if you inflict damage on one, that damage gets evenly split in between the others.

For his burst, I wrote it in the oneshot: lights. Camera. Action. Is a burst that creates a big range field (the spotlights signal it) as in there Idia and the rest of his party members become invisible to mobs unless they take damage, a projecto\movie camera taking place as the main target (basically a small turret). The burst does give a massive pyro explosion too, but ultimately it helps with dodging or health recovery.

The thing with Idia is that his fire is blue. His vision turns blue when he uses more powerful attacks and patterns appear on the back like blue bubbles. That was the hydro dragon's favour, a blessing Nevilette gave to Idia once he started to pursue his wish of being a bodyguard. U-Ub

Now... The events of the oneshot linked above occur. Idia now possesses the pair of scissors that can help him jump in between Teyvat and twst. Naturally, during the summer holiday at NRC, he invites Azul and Malleus over, while Furina and Ortho try to be wingmen. These 2 are besties and their only scope in life is to tease Idia with his luv life. They live for the drama™ :'3

So, seeing that Idia longed for closure with these 2, along with him actually being interested in attending proper school and Furina being down to explore the world, now free of the archon burden, Nevilette indulges in actually talking with crow man and enrolling these 2. I mean... It took a few pretty crystals and mama and papa Shroud(they are on actual good terms) to persuade Crowley into enrollment. Although he specified that he cannot arrange for dorms out of the dark mirror's decision. (BCS they obv didn't pay as much as the asims)

So cue high-school! Furina was obviously more excited than Idia. In there no one knew who she was or what she did. It was basically a new beginning. She already was dreaming of making friends, having tea-parties together and all that sunshine and rainbows.

Meanwhile, Idia was actually preparing to fill in his bodyguard duty, since he already had some experience with the NRC students. :'3

Cue first day of school! and Nevilette ugly crying for his beloved kids finally getting outside to learn and explore. :'3

And the ceremony goes ablaze. Literally!

Well, at first Furina was sorted into ramshackle, which came as a suprise since Idia was sorted in Ignihyde. Then here comes Yuu and your cannon fiasco with Grim. Idia had to stay behind with Furina due to the ramshackle situation. So now with Yuu, there are 2 people who are going to stay in there.

And Furina wants this challenge, despite Idia reasoning that the place is definitely unliveable. She's older, now shush and go to bed! >:v

Cue 1 half a prologue and Idia finds himself chasing after this 1 braincell squad and Furina down in the mines. It turns out the ginger brat has a geo vision and uses a bow, which raises even more questions! :'3

Ace does explain to the 2 that his family has the ability to pass through the abyss from twst to Teyvat. His big brother resides in Teyvat atm along his little siblings too. His grandparents tho are in the queendom of roses. :v

So now you have 3 vision users, one magicless hooman, one cauldron mage and 1 magic fire raccoon cat.

What a lovely team :'3

Now for my drawings:

First up, I really tried to experiment with diff tools, so you have this idea of how this 5��� mf would look like if you even wanna pull for him. There are 2 variants bcs I couldn't decide. :'3

There's also one page of memes and one of how the le Fontaine kids look like in NRC.

And ✨tsum Furina the almighty ✨. U-Ub

And finally, my personal favourite: a smol oneshot scene:

Welp... That's all for now on this au :3

[p3rry-pi3]

Pin pooooost!

Updated: 5/30/2024 :3

I cannot believe I didn’t bother making a proper one sooner

Anyways, info under the cut cause this thing is long as heck, and I didn’t mean to make it that way.

Uh. I shall give a gold star to whoever reads the whole thing, but DO NOT SKIP the DNI part.

I also want to clarify that I have a section with Palestine content, I know people aren’t willing to always look under the cut to actually look for that kind of stuff (I’m saying this as, most people not generally, but sometimes I do the same thing, as shitty as our attention spans are, I think it’s still important that you check these posts out and reblog them. I have been DEATHLY terrified to reblog and post on this account but that shouldn’t stop anyone from at least reblogging this stuff seeing as this stuff is 1000x more important.)

I’ve copy linked posts where you can find: journalists to support and follow, how you can help Palestine donations or not, what you can do to prevent the voting for more weapons in Israel (or the more scientific term, isntreal), and what to boycott.

Do not, and I mean DO NOT skip that part. I can’t control your actions but YOU can control YOUR OWN. I trust you to reblog, like, and share the posts I link.

Let me know if I should make this a separate post for you to reblog, but I hope this makes it GLARINGLY CLEAR on where I stand.

TW; teeth as header in the start and end :]

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Main info

Hey! I’m Perry! Short for Peregrine :)!

I’m a minor (above 10+, I wanna keep this a 13+ space cause of the cussing and my interests in horror art and other scary games. You kind of have to be 13+ to be on here anyway.)

I’m pretty spiritual

I’m a 4w5 intp. Idk what this says about me to others but uhhhh yeah.

I study the Paranormal and psychology

I like making headcanons and theories :]

I genuinely enjoy character analyses and overall enjoy video essays on media like indie horror and video games

I love hardcore horror and gore arts of all sorts. So beware of some of that. Ofc I’ll put warnings, just lemme know if I missed something. I also cuss a lot on here! So beware of that :)!

It’s come to my attention people have been posting real life gore of stuff like hyenas and actual victims so…That’s not the gore I meant. Fictional gore; FICTIONAL!

I’m new to the tagging system even now, so figuring stuff out is hard, but I’m equipped with enough knowledge on it and will put warnings in tags and captions since I recently learned you can block tags. Which helps loads.

Please be patient with me!^^

I’m trans, transmasc, and genderfluid. My pronouns are he/they.

I’m also working on getting a career or two in film :)!

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Extra info

My favorite colors are purple, red, black, white, and neon pink.

I’m multifandom

Reblogs are much more appreciated but I’m grateful for likes.

I like mixed media.

Pls use tone tags :]

Please reblog artwork! Shitposts are fine for just likes. Text posts to.

I usually stick to canon ships because certain fandoms make it weird, but I haven’t seen anything in the main fandom I’m in, so I like to ship some.

I’m a multishipper. (Again, this applies to certain fandoms.)

I’m generally inactive here and there, but I like posting most of my fanart here when I can or remember I also post stuff on here.

I cuss on here so beware of that ig

I have social anxiety and anxiety so posts can sometimes be slower than usual since I’m almost always on my own toes. And because I have anxiety, if I’m being awkward, it’s nothing you did or said, I’m just like that in general.

I have horrible memory so if I post twice on the same day or hour it’s prolly because I forgot about it.

I reference lots of lemon demon and jack stauber.

I blame the jack stauber fanbase for my lemon demon obsession.

I’m the oldest of two brothers so you might hear about them here and there but rarely so.

I’m kind of an idiot, so please be patient if I ask you a third time to repeat what you said.

I have ADHD took a lot out of me to confirm I do. So posts may come later or at the same time due to this.

Biiiggggg undertale and fnaf nerd.

I’m an over analyzer who loves theories. Did you know I’m also an overthinker? (<- sarcasm.)

I don’t dream. I have nightmares instead. That’s where I get most of my OCs.

None of my stuff has age ratings unless it’s like tough topics to touch on or something horrifying.

I ramble lots and ramble even more in tags, so there’ll be lots of tags of just me rambling

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Free Palestine! 🇵🇸🍉

DO NOT SKIP THIS PART!!!!!!!!!

It’s a genocide not a war!!! Z//onists FUCK OFF!!!!!!

I tried to make little watermelon emoji borders so they wouldn’t be confusing, but idk lmk if the borders help section it

I will also continuously update it if needed, and I take constructive criticism if I need to change anything, and no, ‘the only criticism I have is the fact you support Palestine’, or something, isn’t valid criticism. I’ll block you, and it’s not even a funny thing to joke about.

Links I have so far (I wanna remind ppl that if you don’t like seeing your link here just lmk and I’ll take it down, I’m just tryna share the word and I’ll soon make a post on its own abt this cause I think it’d be really important to make a separate post on this)

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Miscellaneous.

(This one is sort of just based off someone else answering an ask but I wanted to copy link this one anyways since by the looks of it, they have a lot of pro-Palestine posts)

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How YOU can help Palestine.

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Palestinian journalists.

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No more weapons for isntreal, ceasefire now.

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What to boycott.

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Pfp creds:

https://pin.it/1Jt3pb5eS on Pinterest :3

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Tags I think u should check out on here!^^ /nf

Some doodles :) (doodles that are 9 times out of ten fandom related)

Bugsnax ramblings (I ramble about headcanons, theories, characters, in game stuff, etc.)

Mind rambles (theories, it’s a new tag I’m working on updating soon.)

Rambling about shit (shits and giggles at 3 AM)

Bugsnax shitpost (mother load of idiocy from yours truly)

Some doodles (not aware this existed prolly isn’t even from this blog, not used as much. At least I don’t think I dunno.)

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Hyperfixations

Bugsnax

Lemon demon

Jack stauber

Mother Mother

Indie horror art

Analog horror

Spiderverse ITSV & ATSV

Franbow

Sallyface

Undertale

Undertale AUs

DHMIS

Mr. Plant (from Ashur Gharavi)

CoD MW2, Cold War Black ops (18+ content CoD blogs DNI)

Venom (Mostly the movies, but I also enjoy the comics.)

TF2/Team Fortress 2

Death Note (pray for me…)

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DNI!!!

LGBTphobes

Furry haters/anti-furrys

Proshippers/comshippers.

Ableists

MAP (not the art collab meaning, but the other meaning)

Anti-antis

Racists

Z00ph1les

Zi0nists

If you’re anything of the above, please get off my page/blog.

I don’t have much of a DNI, just be respectful and mindful.

Might expand if needed.

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Did you read it?

Did you read the whole thing or at least the “DNI” parts?

Here’s a gold star, as promised: ⭐️

Alright. Go nuts. Be respectful.

[outoftheframework]

my proposal for tropes we as a fandom should adopt in all fanworks going forward: Duke Thomas edition

So every fandom has tropes and characterization quirks that have been generally accepted into fanon and, like, maybe? they were originally based on some obscure comic panel from the 80s or something but it doesn’t really matter because we’re all just,,, cool with it? Like for example- in the dc comics fandom, an art piece could show 3 of the bats that look virtually identical except one of them is holding a box of cereal so that one is obviously Dick Grayson. . . Y’know?

Anyway, these things usually come up naturally I guess but I’ve been here a while and it’s finally time to put my foot down. It’s high time for Duke Thomas to be more in fanon than “the sane one.” Because he might be the relatively new guy but he is certainly fears no gods or laws of the land just as much as the other bats, lemme tell ya. 

TL;DR here are character quirks (”canon-based” or otherwise) that we should all really latch onto seriously I’m begging y’all to make at least one of these happen-

Duke “Habitually Jumping Out of Moving Vehicles” Thomas

This one’s actually based in canon y’all; Duke did indeed yeet himself out of the back of a cop car and off of a bridge (in We Are... Robin). Normalize Duke’s wearing knee and elbow pads as Signal because jumping out of a car turns out relatively fine once and then suddenly Batman’s rooftop disappearing act seems mellow compared to the amount of times Gordon has whipped his head around to see a now Signal-less backseat. 

Like, he’s going 60 mph?? And he didn’t even hear the door open?? and tHE DOORS ARE STILL LOCKED??

Imagine this leaking into civilian life and Bruce waking up to a blurry photo of Duke mid-escape from a limousine on the front page of the Gotham Gazette.

(more under cut)

Duke “Puzzles are my Passion” Thomas

Duke is ~canonically~ very skilled at both solving and concocting riddles (as a child during that time where The Riddler just,,, controlled Gotham, he worked non-stop on riddles, trying to make the perfect one). Please y’all- let Duke solve puzzles. Have the other bats ask him for help after 36 hours straight of brooding over some brainteaser that Duke works out within the half-hour. He texts a picture of the solution scribbled out on loose leaf in the margins of his pre-calc homework because this boy shows his work. 

My guy is a word-cross FIEND. A mind-sweeper speed-runner. That guy who mails into the Gazette to correct a solution in the “fun & games” section and also ps that photo is not of me I am simply a polite young man who is much too busy writing into the paper in the year 2021 to jump out of limos-

I also would love to see this integrated into the type of cases he investigates / runs into on his daytime patrol. Like, obviously the criminal activity is going to dramatically differ before and after sundown, but that doesn’t make Duke’s work any easier or less important. It’s a different skillset; he has to work differently. Instead of jumping into fights, halting mob meetings, saving civilians in dark allies, etc. Duke has to sort through all of the moving pieces before they all converge into something catastrophic. 

It’s a known fact that criminal organizations in Gotham make and execute a lot of behind-the-scenes plans during the day specifically not to run into the bats. And Duke knows and monitors this shit all by himself; his work is crucial to logistics and information gathering for the bats as a whole. Now criminals have like, a 2 hour gap between bat-shifts to try and get stuff done. But Duke would 100% set traps on timers or lead them on this pre-set convoluted goose chase  to distract them until the night bats come out and to let himself enjoy the whole thing playing out on the news while he finishes homework that’s due at midnight.

Duke “I Know a Guy” Thomas

So in going off of the basic concept for the “We Are. . . Robin” run in combination to his general likability, Duke has a lot of friends all around Gotham. Okay, sure, he doesn’t have a Super best friend or a Speedster on speed dial, but he does know this guy who details cars up on West 35th and will tell them all about the new mods on Black Mask’s transport vans if they come through the third floor window and bring takeout. 

Bruce and Tim will be waiting for the facial recognition software to identify at least a partial match off of security cam footage when Duke pulls into the cave, takes one look at the screen, and says “Oh, that’s <insert name, address, abridged life story, and known associates here>.” This also brings in the opportunity for Duke to have some sort of perfect recall for faces, voices, names, etc. which I think could be a really cool element for his position as the batfamily member who has a lot more personal interaction with the people of Gotham.

I’m also into the idea of a lot of people knowing/telling stories about Duke. Not to reference the Chuck Norris meme but almost like the Chuck Norris meme lmao. Think about Jason mentioning his brother to someone and she replies, “Duke Thomas? Like that Duke Thomas? The one who swam across the harbor because he said it’d be faster than the subway and it actually was?” These stories have varying levels of truth to them but Duke will never confirm nor deny when he gets random calls from family members yelling “you dID WHAT”

So those are my top three, and the following is a little speed-round of headcanons :)

Duke has a super expressive face. Like when he’s relaxed around family, you can tell exactly what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling by his visual reactions to things

Duke rotates through picking up new and revisiting old hobbies at a pretty rapid pace. Some hobbies include: bullet journaling, origami, viola, cello, synth, conversational basics in multiple languages, up-cycling and embroidering clothes

Duke has a really fucking adorable smile. He can’t help it. He’ll try to grin sarcastically or smug to be annoying but his smile just cannot be anything other than endearing. He also has a very specific booming laugh that’s an absolute treasure to hear, because it’s the most genuinely happy thing ever. 

Duke unironically enjoys Signal by Twice even though the first time he heard it was after Steph had set it as his morning alarm.

So.

Come and get your food, I guess.

Feel free to add on if you’d like! I’d love to see anything you guys write/draw/etc. based on anything from here if you feel compelled to do so!

Stay safe and be well :) 

[soulmate-game]

Well, here is the stupid thing I was alluding to. It’s mostly a filler chapter, but yeah.

Harley’s Plea for Help, Chapter 3

“Well, that took a while,” a relatively deep female voice smoothly drawled. The plants placed right next to the window pulled away, no longer blocking the pathway inside. The two figures who were perched right outside the windowsill took the invitation and climbed inside, the shorter of the two looking at the woman who had spoken and smiling widely.

“Auntie Ivy!” Marinette happily exclaimed, making the redhead across from her grin back.

“That’s me. It sure is nice to actually see you in person, little Marigold,” she held out her arms for a hug, which Marinette instantly ran in to accept. “Video calls are never quite enough, are they? You’re so tiny! Are you sure you eat alright?”

“Auntie Ivyyyyyy,” Marinette whined, knowing full well that Ivy was just teasing her.

“So, what took you all so long?” Ivy asked Red Hood, even as she kept her arms wrapped around her soon-to-be daughter in law. “Usually you bats are all about getting back on the streets to punch people, we didn’t think you’d be bringing her in at almost one in the morning.”

Hood shrugged, thumbs hooked in his pockets. “Your little garden fairy nearly gave us the slip. Went straight out the back exit instead of doin’ anything showy like we half expected and we almost missed her.”

“I stopped as soon as I noticed who they were, I swear!” Marinette pulled away from Ivy, holding her hands up in mock surrender. “I didn’t expect Momma to send them to babysit me before our first full day being in Gotham. In hindsight, though, I really should have.”

“Yeah, you should’ve,” Ivy agreed with a smirk, ruffling Marinette’s hair and making her pigtails go a little crooked. “And I know for a fact that you’ve done some stunts off your balcony back in Paris, so at least I know you can be responsible and hold yourself back from doing the same here. Must get that from me, because we both know it doesn’t come from Harley.”

Marinette and Hood both had to laugh at that. Being responsible was definitely not a trait that Marinette could have inherited from anybody in her family tree, that was for sure.

“Are ya makin’ fun of me in front of my daughter?” the comically scandalized voice announced the arrival of one Harley Quinn, who walked into the room in white onesie pajamas with a poker print on them. All of the “joker” cards were crossed out heavily with red sharpie, and a few of them had black-sharpie devil horns and handlebar mustaches vandalizing them. Marinette even caught one such card with a googly eye on it, the matching eye having fallen off and leaving only a small circle of since-dried hot glue where it used to be. “If you guys are gonna be that way, fine! Ivy dyes her hair!”

“No she doesn’t,” Marinette deadpanned, clearly fighting against a giant grin. The corners of her lips gave her away, they never stopped twitching with repressed mirth. “But you do. I got the pictures to prove—- aah!” Harley tackled her daughter to the ground, attacking her with tickles immediately.

“Take it back! My hair is naturally blond!”

“Yeah, naturally— hahahahaha! Sandy blonde! You— hahaha! Have just as much brown— stop I can’t breathe! hahahaha!— as yellow!”

“Hmph,” Harley finally backed off, crossing her eyes and looking away from Marinette with an exaggerated pout. “How dare you reveal my darkest secret?”

“I was a natural redhead even before I got my powers,” was all Ivy had to say, looking all too amused at this turn of events. “Your original costume completely covered your hair.”

“Don’t worry, Harley,” Red Hood butted in, reminding the three girls that he was still here. His tone suggested that he was definitely smiling under his helmet. “We found out about your hair dye years ago.”

“I just cover up the brown parts! It’s not like I’m changin’ much,” she argued before standing up again. “Thanks for gettin’ my cupcake back safely, little birdie. Oh, that's right! I made cupcakes! Hang on, lemme grab one for your trip back!” with that, she span on her heels and ran back further into the apartment. Marinette dashed over to Hood, immediately shoving him to the window.

“Quick, save yourself! Momma can’t bake for her life!” she whispered urgently. “I’ll say you were called away for an emergency, just hurry!”

“It’s not even a lie, getting away from Harley’s baking is an emergency,” Ivy agreed, waving as the vigilante took their advice and fled. It was only three seconds later that Harley slid back into the room, nearly falling due to the feet of her onesie having pretty much zero friction. Her face immediately fell when she saw that her victim was gone, leaving her standing there with a cupcake that was about twice as much frosting as actual cake, covered in sprinkles like a kid’s craft project that was smothered in glitter. The frosting was also shapeless, just heaped on the cake like a half-melted scoop of ice cream. She sighed in despair.

“There goes my chance of giving a bat diabetes. You guys warned him, didn’t ya?”

They both nodded shamelessly. “We’re not that cruel, Harley,” Ivy defended, getting up from her spot on her cushioned armchair and wrapping an arm around her fiance’s waist before she kissed the top of her head gently. “Hood got our little Marigold back safe and sound, and he’s even started a garden at his apartment. He doesn’t deserve to be poisoned by you.”

“I thought you said he got a single cactus at the flea market last month,” Harley deadpanned, making Ivy shrug.

“Might as well be a garden for him, and it’s something he’s not likely to kill so that’s a plus to me. He’s actually taking really good care of the little baby.”

“Speaking of garden!” Marinette gently took the sad excuse of a pastry away from her mom and sat it down on a side table before ushering both of them over to the living room and onto the sofa. “My garden back home is growing so big, I don’t think I can keep everything much longer. I barely have room to walk on the terrace, with all the vines and leaves and branches. Got any ideas of what I can do?”

“Of course! Do you have pictures, Marigold?”

—*—*—*—*—*

Slipping back through her hotel window at six in the morning was risky, since it involved climbing the wall and hoping nobody saw, but her classmates were so unpredictable that it was the only way she could be sure nobody would find out that she had violated curfew and snuck out. Of course, having Red Robin waiting outside her mom’s apartment’s terrace to escort her back helped. At least she knew that no street cams would record her comings or goings, and his grappling hook made the whole scale-the-hotel-wall business much more efficient.

Once she was inside, she sighed happily. “Thanks, now—“ her apology was cut off as Red Robin held up a finger to tell her to wait.

“Hold that thought, be right back. Don’t move.”

Thinking, rightfully, that something was wrong, Marinette obeyed. She watched Red Robin leap off of her hotel balcony and disappear into the streets. Immediately, she began a search to make sure her room had been left untampered— everything important had been packed in the backpack that she had taken to her mom’s place, but still. Could never be too careful. By the time she finished checking for bugs or any signs of snooping, Red Robin landed back on her balcony.

“Here we go.”

Turning to face him, Marinette opened her mouth to ask what the problem had been— only to tear up a little and walk over to the vigilante.

“Oh, my hero. Truly, my one and only savior. Knight in shining red Kevlar. I’m running on two hours of sleep and you have read my mind!” The pigtailed drama queen eagerly took the coffee that he offered her, and he sipped from a larger cup that looked like he had grabbed it from the same place. Marinette almost instantly sighed in gratitude when the hot drink lightly scalded her tongue. This. This was the elixir of life.

To his credit, Red Robin was able to restrain himself to merely an amused smirk. Probably because he was running on just as little sleep as she was. “Sorry it’s only a small, I figured it was best to have something you could finish quickly and easily hide the evidence for. If you need more caffeine, I happen to know that Wayne Enterprises has a very good coffee shop in their main hall. You’ll be touring there today, right?” He asked, taking another sip as he waited for the answer that he already knew.

Marinette nodded absently, drinking in the euphoria of her coffee as she tried to both savor it yet finish it as quickly as safely possible. When she came up for air, she said; “Yeah, that’s right. We’re touring Wayne Enterprises for most of the day, having lunch there, and leaving for dinner after the tour. Then we have a visit to the Gotham Museum of Fine Art, and we’ll stay there until about eight-thirty before heading back to the hotel.”

Red Robin nodded, then turned and looked out the window at the slowly rising sun. Sunrise was always a bit later in Gotham, partly because of the abundance of high-rises and partly because of the thick cloud cover and ever-present fog on the edges of the city making everything seem darker than it should have been. He had to be at work soon himself, which is why he had been chosen to escort her to the hotel in the first place, but that meant that he had to be heading off.

“Alright. We arranged for a bodyguard we trust to keep an eye on your class during the WE tour, but he doesn't know who you are or that we’re the ones who asked. We’re still in the process of arranging someone to shadow you after the tour, but we’ll tell you about that once it’s solidified. Until then, follow the usual self-defense procedures if you suspect anyone of following you. You have the panic button we gave you?”

Marinette nodded, gulping down the last of her coffee and carefully putting it in her room’s tiny trash can. “Got it. Thanks, again. Seriously,” she met his eyes— or, probably did since they were hidden behind that weird white film that the whole Batfam had covering the eyeholes of their masks. “I mean it. For listening to me, for listening to Mom. It means a lot. I’ll keep the panic button on me, and I’ll use it if I think I can’t handle a situation on my own. I’ll cooperate with the people you get to watch over the class, and I’ll do my best to not get into any trouble. No promises, but I’ll do my best,” she maintained eye contact until Red Robin nodded, hiding his expression behind his coffee cup. After a second, he cleared his throat.

“Well then. We’ll contact you once we have anything to say about your intel. Until then, I gotta go. And by the way?”

Marinette tilted her head curiously as Red Robin paused for just a moment on her balcony railing, aiming a smirk back at her. “Yeah?”

“Welcome to Gotham.”

And if she couldn’t help but smile widely as he grappled off into the fog-veiled sunrise? Well, only she had to know. She wasted no time closing and locking the glass balcony door, and pulling the curtains over it completely. Once that was done, she couldn’t help but do a little shimmy of Joy. She was caffeinated, she met Auntie Ivy in person for the first time, she got to sleep next to her momma— and she was in Gotham! Technically her hometown— or town she was conceived in? Didn’t matter. Point was, even with the chaos and dark energy clouding the very air, she couldn’t help but feel like she belonged in that city. Like that was where she was always meant to end up, where she could thrive and the environment that she was made to thrive in. The environment that she was born to start fixing.

She beamed at herself in her bathroom mirror as she gave herself one more once-over. Yeah, so far her visit to Gotham was going much better than she could have hoped. Now, she just had to make sure it stayed that way.

Three businesslike raps sounded against the door to her room, just in time for Marinette to feed Tikki one more cookie and straighten her purse on her shoulder. Madame Mendelieve’s voice called out from the other side of the door in her usual no-nonsense bark;

“Dupain-Cheng! Room check! It’s time to get up, we’re meeting down in the lobby in ten minutes.”

Marinette ran up to the door, not quite able to contain her energy, and swung it open with her trademark large, beaming smile.

“Way ahead of you, Madame Mendelieve!”

Her science teacher blinked, adjusting her glasses on her nose as if she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing.

“Ah. You’re already awake and ready?”

Marinette giggled and nodded. “Yup! I was so excited for the tour that I could barely sleep! Does the hotel breakfast include free coffee?”

—*—*—*—*—*

The hotel breakfast did, in fact, include coffee. What it did not include, however, was free coffee that Marinette could reasonably stomach. Especially after the heaven in a cup that Red Robin had gotten for her earlier, the watered down motor oil in the hotel lobby had been unbearable. She had barely managed two sips before regretfully throwing the rest away. Which is what brought her to stand in line at the very same coffee shop that Red Robin had mentioned was in the main hall of Wayne Enterprises, as the rest of her class mingled and waited for their teachers to check their tour group in and their tour guide to arrive.

“Hmm. Sorry, this is my first time ordering here,” she apologized when she reached the counter, gaining a slight lopsided grin from the barista at the register. “Um, I usually like strong coffee, with a lot of caffeine, but I also like something sweet. I don’t need anything too complicated though, do you have any recommendations?”

The barista gave her a customer service smile that seemed just a tad softer at the edges than usual. “Sure! So, we can add an extra shot or two of espresso to any of our drinks, to make it stronger and give it an extra kick. If you’re looking for good sweet flavors, the classics are our white chocolate or caramel. But we also have a seasonal syrup right now that I personally love, which is our cinnamon butterscotch. Did you wanna try that?”

Marinette smiled widely. “That sounds delicious! Then, if I could have your largest size café latte, hot, with… two extra shots and that syrup? Does that sound good?”

The barista actually let loose a soft laugh, already keying in the order. “If you’re a coffee lover and a sweet tooth at the same time, then you’ll love it. If not, come back during your tour’s lunch break and I’ll make you something else.”

Marinette made a little more small talk as she handed over the proper cash for the order, and grabbed her drink after just another minute’s wait. She turned around, taking a sip of the unsurprisingly heavenly coffee and started off to join her class.

Only to realize none of them were where she had left them. She sighed, starting to reach into her purse to see if anyone had texted her about where they were going, but a heavy presence stopped her. She could feel him approaching from in front of her, slightly to her right, but she couldn’t hear him at all. On guard, she straightened up and turned to observe the potential threat.

A security guard. Marinette blinked, running over what she had been told earlier that morning. Was he..?

He seemed to notice her instinctually defensive posture because he raised his hands to show he meant no harm. “Sorry, didn’t mean to catch you off guard,” he apologized. “I’m the guard that was assigned to your tour group. I offered to stay behind until you got your coffee while the rest of your group went ahead and got the run-down on all the boring rules and whatnot of the tour. Figured you’d already know everything they had to say anyway, you’re the class president right?”

Marinette relaxed her posture, nodding and sending the man a relieved smile. “Yeah, that’s right. Well, that explains why they left without me then. Usually Madame Mendelieve is strict about following rules though, how’d you convince her to go on without me?”

The man chuckled, jerking his head to show that she should follow him as he began to lead the way to a side door. Marinette kept her guard up just in case, but wasn’t too worried. If nothing else, she was still in the middle of a super crowded building and the other security guards around didn’t seem concerned. She could easily yell for help if she needed to.

“Well, can’t you tell it was my devilish charm?” He teased, grinning. He waited until she rolled her eyes to continue; “but really, I’m like a second tour guide. She made me show a lotta proof that I’m actually assigned to you guys and not just faking it, not that I can blame her. Eventually she saw the logic in my suggestion and agreed. See, there they are,” he pointed casually ahead of them in the large side hallway they had entered. Sure enough, near the end of the hallway was her class at what looked to be the tail-end of a standard rules-and-guidelines speech from the tour guide. “By the way,” the guard spoke up again, holding his hand out. “My name’s Jason. You’ll be seeing me more often, since I’m supposed to guard you guys for all of your visits to the Tower. Call me if you need help with anything, ‘kay kid?”

Marinette grinned, now positive that this guy really was the guard that Red Robin had said was assigned to her class. She switched the hand she was holding her coffee in so that she could properly grab Jason’s hand for a shake.

“Got it, Monsieur Jason. Let’s both hope I don’t end up needing your help though, I think that would be easier on both of us,” she joked, earning a chuckle from the large man. And— yeah, now that she was relaxed, he really was big, wasn’t he? Then again, Marinette didn’t always realize when people were a bit larger or more buff than they should be. Living with her dad had seriously skewed her perception of the normal size of an adult male (which, she learned when she was seven, most definitely was not almost seven feet tall and muscled enough to make a pro wrestler jealous). But she would like to think she had gotten better in that aspect, and Jason was definitely a big guy. A little over six feet tall, she thought, and though the guard outfit hid a good portion of his physique, she could tell he carried enough muscle to do serious damage if he wanted to.

With a wave, she left him to join her class and sipped at her latte. She had figured that the Bat Clan’s criteria for civilians that they would put to guard her class had to be high, but now she had to wonder just how high. Most police officers or security guards were fit, sure, but not like Jason. Casting a quick glance back at him, she confirmed that he had quite a few faded but visible scars. Again, more than your average officer even for Gotham. Who had they tasked with her class’ safety, exactly?

An elbow in her side distracted her from her thoughts, forcing her to blink and stop her cup from going back to her lips. The grin of none other than Adrien Agreste greeted her when she snapped out of her own head long enough to pay attention to her surroundings. He jerked his head to indicate that the class was already starting to move off.

“Come on, Mari or you’ll get left behind again,” he teased. She grinned back at him, rolling her eyes but falling into step beside him as they followed at the back of their class. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were gonna marry that coffee. You haven’t zoned out that badly in years,” his tone was light and cheery, but Marinette didn’t miss the concern in his emerald eyes. She sighed, gently bumping her shoulders against his in silent reassurance.

“I’m fine. Just didn’t get much sleep last night, that’s all. But this really is good coffee. Elixir of the gods,” then, just to provoke him, she took a giant gulp of the still steaming hot drink. Adrien grimaced in pained sympathy even though Marinette didn’t seem affected at all.

“Oww, Marineeeeeeeeeette,” he whined. “Don’t do that, my throat hurts just watching you guzzle hot coffee like that,” he complained, rubbing at his neck to make his point clear.

“Wimp,” she teased, unrepentant. Adrien just groaned dramatically.

“I’m not a wimp, you’re just concerningly used to burning your throat from the inside out,” he accused. “Anyway, how’d it go?” He was being deliberately vague, but it was obvious to her what he meant. He was only one she had told about visiting her mom, after all, just in case she needed a quick getaway.

In fact, he was the only one of her friends that she had even told about her biological parents. Alix knew too, but only because of time shenanigans. Marinette was fine with it now, but still.

“It went great,” she smiled widely at him, keeping her voice low but casual. “If I have a chance, I’ll introduce you sometime during the trip. I have a feeling you’ll love Auntie Selina, but I have to meet her first. All I have so far are stories.”

“Fair enough,” Adrien agreed easily. “But you don’t have to, you know that right? I’d love to meet your family, but I’m also fine just being your pseudo-brother like I have been up until now. I know it might be a bit… uncomfortable, for you.”

“Nah,” Marinette shrugged. “Nerve wracking, maybe. But that’s also about half the things that I do in my life period, anxiety is no joke. I’ll catastrophize for a while, but I know you’ll love them and they’ll love you.”

“Sounds like they have paw-some taste,” he didn’t even miss a beat with his puns, earning a playful glare for his efforts.

“Never mind. You’re a heathen. Disowned. Who are you?”

“Mariiiiii,” he whined, causing them both to laugh for a while before focusing on the tour.

So far, so good, Marinette thought.

—*—*—*—*—*

Part 1 Part 2

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One-shot for Gruvia Day/Greige Day/Gruvia Family Day 2021

Summary: Coming home from a mission is always better when there's someone waiting for you.

Word Count: 2,483 words

You may also read it on FanFiction.net and AO3! Check out my master list for other Gruvia fics.

Tag List: @shampooneko @fbflame94 @juviaafullbuster @unvalley @gruviaftw11​ (Wanna be tagged, lemme know)

“Mommy, we’re back!”

Looking for her blue head of hair had become second nature to him, so he quickly spotted her among their friends as she stood up to gather the running Greige into her arms. He followed right after, though a lot calmer.

“I finished my mission with Daddy!” the four-year-old boy with dark blue hair exclaimed as he reached his mom, still a little breathless from running. “I made big blocks of ice for the party, and Daddy crushed them to make snow cones for everyone!”

Greige prattled on excitedly, demonstrating each point with his hands and arms and making Juvia smile. Arriving at her side, Gray put his arm around his wife’s shoulders and kissed her temple. She embraced him back, giving him a quick squeeze before letting go and turning back to their son.

Gray chuckled. It seemed like ages ago when Juvia would welcome him with a half-hug, half-tackle to the ground while shouting, “Gray-samaaaaa!” Now, all her attention was on their son.

“That’s great, darling,” Juvia told Greige as they all sat side by side, with both of her boys on either side of her. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

Gray rolled his eyes. It was so like Juvia to get worried over a simple mission of making ice sculptures and snow cones for kids at a birthday party, even though she was the one to spot it on the job board.

At first, she got really excited as she saw it as an opportunity for family bonding. But with her six-month pregnant belly, Gray wouldn’t risk it even if it was just an easy and harmless mission.

It ended up being a father and son bonding with his little ice mage apprentice.

“Relax, Juvia. As if I would let something happen to our son,” Gray answered after taking a gulp of the ice-cold water waiting for him at the table. Mira passed by and set a hot bowl of udon in front of him, giving him a light pat on the back.

“Of course you won’t, Gray-sama,” his wife answered with a smile. “But Juvia will always worry for you two. It’s just the way it is.”

She turned to Greige and held his elbow to pull him closer but was surprised when he yelped in pain.

“Greige-kun? What’s the matter? Where does it hurt?” Juvia asked in a concerned voice, trying to look for any bruise or cut on his son’s well-covered body.

Gray also turned to look at him with worry. “Did you get injured, buddy?”

“N-nothing. I’m okay, Mom,” Greige answered, squirming from Juvia’s fussing and a bit embarrassed about his outburst.

“Don’t ‘nothing’ me, young man,” Juvia said in her stern mommy voice that meant business. She rarely used it to both Gray and Greige, so both of them knew better than to defy her in any way when she was in one of her moods.

And being pregnant, those mood swings escalated tenfold.

Greige let Juvia remove his outer coat, allowing her to quickly spot the source of the problem: a scratch on his elbow. It wasn’t that deep or big, but it definitely should be cleaned, or else it would get infected.

Suddenly, Juvia snapped her head towards her husband and glared at him with her fierce blue eyes.

“Gray-sama! You said you won’t let anything happen to our son!”

Gray gulped and scratched the back of his head. All they did was make snow cones, how the hell did Greige get that?!

“Juvia, I swear, I didn’t let him out of my sight! I don’t even know where he got that,” he answered as he moved to Greige’s other side, examining the wound. “Besides, it’s just a small scratch. It’s no big deal.”

He immediately regretted his words the moment they came out of his mouth. He felt goosebumps prickling his skin as Juvia’s glare intensified.

Really, this woman means the world to him, but she could be scarier than Erza sometimes.

But before he could appease his wife, Greige said in a small voice, “This was from yesterday.”

Juvia turned to their son. “Yesterday? What happened? And why didn’t you say anything about it?”

With his head bowed, Greige mumbled something he couldn’t hear. Gray was about to ask him to speak louder when he saw him chance a glance at the pink-haired girl just three tables away from them...

And blush.

Holy Mavis.

He knew that look. He used to steal glances at Juvia with that look.

But his son was just four years old!

“What did you say, Greige?” Juvia’s voice broke through his thoughts (and internal panic), and he tried his best to focus on his son’s answer instead of his pink cheeks.

“I-I... scraped my elbow while Nasha and I were trying to hide from Aunt Lucy,” Greige answered, and Gray swore his son’s cheeks flushed some more.

Okay, he and Greige need to have a long talk when they get home. He was just four, but who knows what ideas and thoughts were running through his head now? Better nip it in the bud while it was still early.

And maybe he would tell Juvia tonight, but he had to be really careful because it might trigger the waterworks. And God knew how extremely sensitive she was, especially now that she was pregnant. Just last week, they ran out of milk, and she bawled her eyes out over it.

“Next time, be more careful, darling,” Juvia said, seemingly oblivious to what just happened and already arms-deep into her first aid kit.

Juvia had always been like that whenever he returned from a mission. She would have a first aid kit by her side and a glass of cold water and a serving of whatever the meal of the day was already ordered for him. At home, there would always be a feast.

He had to thank her failproof Gray-sama radar for always getting the timing of his arrival right.

She started dabbing alcohol on Greige’s wound while blowing at the spot to ease the pain. Greige flinched a little, but he put on a brave face while his mom cleaned his wound, his eyes traveling now and then to the nearby table where his bubbly friend was busy playing with her mom’s keys, unaware of his stolen glances.

That talk was definitely happening the moment they get home.

“All done!” Juvia exclaimed, lightly patting the band-aid she placed over the abrasion. “Now, for the finishing touches.”

She puckered her lips and lowered it to Greige’s elbow to kiss the boo-boo away, as she always did whenever her son injured himself. But just when her lips were a mere inch away, Greige saw Nasha looking at him with her big brown eyes, causing him to push his mom’s lips away from him.

“Ahh, stop it, Mom! I’m a big boy now!” Greige blurted, crimson cheeks and all.

Lisanna, who was delivering some drinks to a nearby table, smiled widely and ruffled Greige’s hair. "Aww, you are so cute, Greige-kun!" This made the boy even redder.

Surprised, Juvia locked eyes with Gray, and he tilted his head towards the table where his rival’s family was staying. She saw Nasha looking at Greige, and she looked at her husband and raised one of her eyebrows.

“Okay, Mommy understands,” she told Greige as she smiled at him and smoothed the band-aid on his elbow. “But promise me one thing, darling.”

Greige looked up at her and waited.

“Promise me that even though you’re a young man now, you won’t give Mommy a grandchild yet, okay? Mommy’s too young for that.”

Greige just continued looking at her, brows furrowed in confusion. Gray, on the other hand, almost choked on his udon and shouted, “Juvia!” at his giggling wife.

“Really, I can give Mommy a grandchild? How?” their son asked, excitement twinkling in his eyes.

Gray took a gulp of cold water before turning to his son. “Alright, that’s enough. Greige, don’t listen to your mom. And Juvia, stop putting ideas into your son’s head!”

Juvia covered her mouth with her hands. “Juvia’s sorry, Gray-sama. Juvia just thinks it’s so cute that Greige-kun already has a --”

“Greige?”

A little girl’s voice interrupted them, and they all turned to look at Nasha, who had quietly made her way to their table. Gray stole a glance at his son and saw him giving the girl the tiniest of smiles.

Just like the smile he used to give Juvia when he was still fighting his growing feelings for her.

All of a sudden, the innocent-looking girl jumped on Greige and locked his head under her arm, a mischievous smile on her lips. “Aunt Juvia, Uncle Gray, can Greige and I get some ice cream?”

“Ow! Let go!” Greige exclaimed, suddenly finding himself in a headlock with a giggling Nasha. He escaped her grip and glared at her while his mom answered, “Of course, sweetie. Just don’t go far and don’t take too long.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Nasha excitedly answered, dragging a sulking Greige after her. “Come on, weirdo. Let’s get some ice cream!”

“But I just ate a snow cone!”

“Whatever, you’re coming with me!”

Gray followed the two kids with his eyes, watching them hold hands as they made their way to their Aunt Mirajane.

That was his son, alright. Before long, he would be all grown up and meeting Nashas from different worlds and seeing snow dolls of Nasha and having enemies conjure up fantasies of him and Nasha in a perfect, happy world and --

“Relax, Gray-sama,” he heard his wife say, bringing him back to Earthland. “It will be a long time before all your thoughts would come true.”

His wife’s Gray-sama radar probably got an upgrade as it apparently developed mindreading powers now. And since when did his mind start running off to fantasy world? After all these years, Juvia’s powerful imagination must have rubbed off on him somehow.

Gray stretched his sore muscles and popped the joints in his neck. “Don’t joke about grandkids again. It’s scary.” He placed his hand at his wife’s round belly. “‘Sides, we’re not yet done having kids.”

Juvia looked at him, the most beautiful smile gracing her face. “Juvia knows. Now, get naked.”

“N-now?” Gray stammered, surprised at his wife’s sudden request. Sure, he would love to try having more kids, but --

“-- so Juvia could examine you thoroughly for any wounds. And change your bandages,” she continued, eyes feigning innocence. But he could see a small smile tugging at her lips, satisfied with the little joke she pulled.

Gray rolled his eyes and took off his shirt. He let Juvia’s light fingers explore his body and carefully remove the old gauze wrapped around his broad chest. “It’s almost healed already,” he remarked.

Juvia just continued applying antiseptic on his injury, not looking up at Gray. His wound was by no means fresh, but it was a deep gash he got from one of his missions with Team Natsu. He threw himself in front of a kid to protect her from one of the bandits, which earned him a cut over his breastbone. Good thing Wendy was with them; it could have been fatal if she didn’t treat it right away.

“Still not totally healed. Gray-sama should keep the bandages clean to avoid infection.” She looked up at him and added, “And Gray-sama should be extra careful now that our family is growing.”

Despite her steady tone, he could see her eyes glimmering with unshed tears. He remembered the first time she saw his injury and how she tried to muffle her sobs so that Greige wouldn’t think something was wrong.

Gray wiped the tears that escaped her eyes and kissed her forehead tenderly. “I will. And no matter what, I will always come back home to you.”

Juvia nodded and gave him a small smile. She wrapped fresh bandages around his chest in silence.

“All done now, Gray-sama.” She patted her handiwork and started putting all the stuff back inside the first aid kit. When she was done, she stood up and was about to return the kit to Mira when Gray thought aloud, “How come she does it for Greige but not for me?”

Juvia turned to look at him. “Are you saying something, Gray-sama?”

Gray looked at her sheepishly while scratching his cheek. “Ah, nothing.”

“Juvia’s sure she heard something about doing it for Greige but not for you. What is it?”

Gray’s cheeks turned pink. “Well, it’s just that...” He puckered his lips towards her.

“Eh?” Juvia asked incredulously. “Juvia’s not sure she understands what Gray-sama’s talking about.”

Gray sighed and picked up his shirt. “Forget it. It’s silly.”

Juvia sat beside him again, thinking aloud to herself. “Hmm. What does Juvia do with Greige that she doesn’t do with Gray-sama?” After a few moments, her face lit up. “Aha! Does Gray-sama want Juvia to kiss his boo-boos too?”

Gray’s face flushed some more, but he couldn’t help the smirk from crawling on his face. “Well, you used to do it, right? I’m just curious how come you don’t do it anymore.”

It was now Juvia’s turn to blush. She put her hand over her mouth and said, “Is Juvia hearing this right? Gray-sama wants Juvia to kiss his body right in the middle of the guild?”

Realizing what she was saying, Gray suddenly burst out, “What? No! I was just asking!”

But it was too late. Juvia’s lips were already pressed onto a scar by his collarbone.

“Does this still hurt, Gray-sama?” She then moved lower to his chest where the bandage started, and kissed it softly. “How about here, hmm?”

Gray froze as Juvia’s lips traveled even lower, now kissing his hard abs covered by his bandages. He clenched his fist as he could feel something else hardening.

“Is Gray-sama feeling better now?” Juvia asked in a sultry voice, looking up at him with those beguiling eyes, a tiny smirk on her luscious lips as if challenging him.

Oh, she was definitely teasing him.

But why did she have to look this sexy?

Around them, he could hear some of their guildmates snickering and hollering.

“Get a room!”

“They’re being lovey-dovey again.”

“Give your wife what she wants, Gray!”

He was flustered alright, but he only knew of one way to turn the tables on his wife.

He grabbed her shoulders and straightened her so that they were at eye level with each other.

“You missed a spot right here,” he said, pointing to his lips. But before she could react, he angled his head and kissed her full on the mouth.

That will teach her, he thought.

Amid all the teasing, gagging noises, and catcalls, a little boy eating his ice cream a few tables away yelled, “Eww, Daddy and Mommy are being gross again!”

***

Happy Gruvia Family Day, loves! 😘

[sscoutregimentss]

i know we as a collective society believe in gamer! eren supremacy. and yes, this is a good take. however, may i introduce to you: normie/fuckboy/jock eren with gamer/nerd gf. thoughts under the cut (safe for work, pg-13, also slight snk spoilers for season 3 and up!)

see, eren isnt necessarily a fuckboy. in fact, hes very loyal! he doesnt really think that way about any girls or guys except you. but hes popular romantically and had a reputation for sleeping around before he met you (not that theres anything wrong with that but ya know word travels fast across campus). plus, cmon the dude is in a frat, super hot and has a tongue piercing. he cant blame anyone for thinking he is a fuckboy bc he exudes the energy.

you are kind of the complete opposite. you dont really enjoy parties and you keep to yourself. you're a total wreck when it comes to flirting and your kinda oblivious to whenever people like you. you dont have many friends and are a bigger fan of 2d people than 3d.

either way eren finds you so so so cute. he first approached you at one of his frat parties. your roommates convinced you to come after she said that someone (read: connie) had a dance dance revolution mat, but you kinda just stuck around in a corner staring at your cup once you lost them. he looks you up and down-- your outfit was pretty cute, a short plaid orange pleated skirt, dress shirt, orange cardigan and black beret laying neatly upon your head. and your face... he couldn't help himself but try to talk to you. you were really anxious because wahhh scary sports guy you dont know but he was kinda instantly comforting? in a way? and he was freaking pretty. he looked like a final fantasy character--long haired characters were your type. the rest was kind of history.

a lot of people are shocked when they find out your dating bc you two are so different (some people are surprise eren “dates” at all) but no one dares question your relationship when they see how much eren dotes on you. he has so many polaroids of you in his wallet-- from the many arcade dates you bring him on where you decimate him at almost every game, you awkwardly posing in the hentai section of bookstores, or just candids of you being intensely focused on a puzzle in a game. whenever you guys go out to eat and somethings wrong with your meal, he'll send it back (in a polite way, of course, but hes still assertive.) or if you buy like a figurine and its misisng something hes marching up to the cashier stand for you. he always has an arm around your waist or is holding is hand in yours. sometimes you just cling onto his arm and rest your head on it (hes comfy!!!!! and you are always tired) your both pretty clingy, but you get kinda awkward when you two are around people you know so he just kinda subtly holds you as to not make a scene. its nice. hes comfy.

youve got dual monitors, a pc you made yourself, rgb keyboard, the whole nine yards. all your consoles are up to date and you keep a handheld system on you at all times. you spend most your weekends watching anime and movies and tv shows and your shelves are piled high with books and comic books. eren literally does not understand any of it. when you told him you built your pc he goes "you made all those microchippy things? youre soooo smart babe". when you talk about some of your weirder or more complicated animes he nods along but honestly he gets so lost ("so like, lemme get this straight, the kids dad's wife ate his mom?" "yeah but like she was turned into a titan so she didn't realllllly know it was the dads wife, but like she literally walks past this titan shifter so i think she knew." "thats crazy.") and he will never understand the point of otome games when hes literally right there. he actually has a really bad habit of getting jealous of characters you have a crush on but you just find it funny. sometimes he gets an ego boost when they look like him because even if they look like him he is actually real so they can suck it.

hes rlly supportive tho. erens a rlly passionate person and he loves you a lot so he pours a lot of passion into what you do. if you are into esports/fps games hes cheers you on all the time and does all the raging for you ("BABE THAT GUY IS STREAM SNIPING! HES STREAM SNIPING YOU HEY ASSHOLE STOP CHEATING OFF MY GIRLFRIEND" "eren he cant stream snipe me because i dont stream" "oh i thought that just meant cheating"/"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER?" "eren its okay i can just report him" "NO NO LET ME AT HIM IF HE WANTS TO CALL YOU A BITCH I CAN CALL HIM MUCH WORSE" "um guys im gonna mute my mic for a second if you need me text chat") if youre into cozy games he likes to watch you play and gives you ideas on where to put things. like in minecraft he makes you put a second bed for him even though he doesnt play and he helps you name all your pets. you get a little less intense with cozy games so you sit on his lap and he lets his hair down puts his head on your shoulder and points at where you should place stuff. he still rages though? this is eren jaeger we are talking about. ("aw, she wont move to my island." "WHAT? who does that little ugly squirrel think she is? you think youre too good for MY y/n's island? i'll shave your unibrow off. then we'll see what island will want you" "leave hazel alone! shes cute!"/"dude that hamster guy with the glasses looks like armin" "graham? what? armin doesnt even wear glasses" "no no look at it more" "oh shit youre right") rpgs/otome games are kinda a wild card with how he acts. if its an otome game and the character looks like him he is more into helping you out because it reaffirms to him that you find him good looking but otherwise he is just sulking and calling them annoying ("princess y/n... i know im just a servant, but i want to be with you forever!" "pft. get a load of this guy. clingy much?" "its romantic! youre jealous.")

one of his favorite things to do with you is cuddle and watch anime. usually he lies his face on your thighs or chest while watching and you play with his hair or he holds you in his chest and you play with one of his hands while the other goes behind his head. he grew up on some of the classics like naruto sailor moon one piece pokemon and dbz but he never got super into it until he started dating you. you put him on to soooo many good shows (cartoons, anime, and live action) hes both a crier and he is a get-angrier(?). he gets mad on characters behalfs and you have to pause the show so he can rant about how annoying someone is or he feels so bad for someone so he has to take a minute because hes tearing up. he likes slice of life anime because the friendships <3 theyre so wholesome and they remind him of him armin and mikasa but he also likes shounen because it is entertaining to watch fights. he gets really into them actually. he also has this really bad habit of whenever there is a character with no parents or a dead mom he goes "oh same" or "welcome to the club buddy" under his breath. when theres a cute couple in an anime you both like guys get matching keychains of them unless one of them dies because he thinks its bad luck. his favorite animes are haikyuu, your lie in april and code geass.

you are equally supportive of erens volleyball career. you know all the rules because sports anime and you actually find yourself really liking it in 3d as well (it is lacking in bromance and screaming but you let it slide). you go to all his games and he always texts you before his practices. has a habit of kissing you before games and one day after he kisses you go "gg ez win" as a JOKE but then they like decimate their long time rival marley university and get into nationals (is that a thing for volleyball idk sports) so hes convinced its because you did your "gamer magic". now every time after getting his good luck kiss he interlocks your pinkies and you go "gg ez win" and he goes “yes.” because to this day he doesnt know what it means (he thinks googling it is like breaking the magic)

okay im gonna stop while im ahead BECAUSE I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I MIGHT JUST GO AHEAD AND WRITE SOME ONESHOTS....

[chipper-smol]

Hollow Knight Telephone Round Two: Relic Coffee Shop

Prompt

.

.

.

Prompts:

1: Lemm finds an odd fellow at the Blue Lake. Normally he wouldn’t bother to approach a stranger out of nowhere, but something in his gut urges him to take action. Quirrel, feeling the effects of age on his body, stares incredulously at the bearded face of a stranger who apparently wants to have him over for coffee. 2: Lemm sets up shop in an abandoned cafe. It’s roomy and pleasant at first, but there are _stacks_ of these disgusting old bitter coffee beans clogging up the rooms. It doesn’t help that bugs keep coming in to order a drink even though he’s posted signs to _KEEP OUT!!_ However, once they start offering Geo be begrudgingly takes it as an opportunity to achieve funds to pay for relics. 3: At first, the coffee was just an excuse to get Geo to pay for relics, but Lemm’s begun to notice that bugs who wandered into his shop with the telltale early symptoms of infection no longer have them on their return visits. He tells himself he’s not an altruist. He’s _not._It’s just a waste to throw out old coffee when someone just needs a pick-me-up.

By @bluwails​

------------------------------- By @hydrochlorinate​

“Just don’t. Tell. Anyone. Else.”

Those were the words that came out of the grumpy barista’s mouth that fateful day. One’s that you completely ignored, as you had already been drinking what could only be the drink of HIgher Beings, with just how heavenly it tasted.

Grinning like a lunatic, you give him 45 geo, not a small sum. If anything though, it was hilariously cheap for a drink that was this good. The bug doesn’t complain about the amount though, so he’s probably fine with it. Wings fluttering in excitement, you leave the shop, ready to tell any remaining survivors about the amazing drink shop you just found.

===============>(Coffee Shop AU)

The next time you come in, the store is absolutely packed. Denizens from all across the ruins of Hallownest are here, ranging from some uninfected moss knights to that one ladybug that you had a dance off with a while back. There's even a noble here, and- is that a mantis?

Anyway, it looks like your very subtle method of giving publicity to this cafe by talking about literally nothing else to whomever you talked to over the following week paid off. Good, this place deserves all the atte-

“You.”

Oh? You snap out of your thoughts, and look towards the counter, where the barista is levelling a glare at you that could instantly wither those delicate flowers that have been spreading around recently.

You stroll on up to the counter, a grin stretching across your face. The barista narrows his eyes.

“Didn’t I tell you to keep this a secret? Why is my establishment filled to the brim with bugs? Who are these people?!”

...huh. Did he tell you to keep it on the down low? It seems in character from your limited interactions, but you don’t remember exactly. Oh well, time to play it off. You tell him that, well, what can you say except you’re welcome.

You’ve never seen a bug go from “Irritated” to “Ballistic” as fast as this barista. Usually they make a stop at “Angry” or “Absolutely Livid”.

“YOU’RE WELCOME?!?!”

No, see, he’s supposed to say thank you.

“THANK YOU???”

You tell him he’s welcome, before laughing. No, really, you tell him, look around, the place is packed! Business is booming! The barista (you should really ask for his name) manages to bring his volume under control, taking in a deep breath.

“That’s part of the problem. I’m a relic seeker, not a-” He gestures around the cafe, as if looking for the right words to use. Barista, you suggest.

“Exactly. I’m not made to brew coffee-” Oh, that’s what it was called. “-or to be dealing with customers all day long.”

Sure. That’s why he decided to allow people to keep purchasing coffee, or why he decided to put on a cute green and white visor.

You didn’t just come to check in on your new favorite bug though, you have coffee to order! Taking out a sheet of paper from your bag, you begin to read out both your order, and those of your companions. Even with the end of the infection, the leftover damage to hallownest’s caves and architecture makes it dangerous to travel alone.

As you begin to read out your order, the barista shifts from crotchety old bug to attentive worker. You really wish you had come back earlier, instead of letting some of your other traveling buddies pick up the coffee for you. Something about the atmosphere here is… relaxing, despite the amount of people.

After your order is finished, you leave the cafe. Back to the real world bucko, as an old friend of yours would always say.

...Wait a minute you never got the barista’s name.

===============>(Coffee Shop AU)

It’s been 3 weeks. You think. Time gets a little funky down here, what with the sudden influx of void. Sure, most of it has cleared out by now, but every so often your exploration party comes across a tunnel that hasn’t quite been fully illuminated, the shadows just a bit too thick to be natural.

You enter the coffee shop again. It’s gotten a lot quieter as time went on and bugs started coming in on a schedule. There’s still plenty of other customers here, but it’s nowhere near as packed as the first couple of days. Lemm (yeah, you finally got his name) stands at the counter, still slightly disgruntled, but a lot less so than he was at the beginning. In fact, he’s actually talking to someone right now! An actual conversation too, not just an exchange of witty remarks. You can’t see their face, but they appear to be a pillbug wearing a blue hood. 
As you step up to the counter, you can hear their conversation a bit better.

“...of course, I couldn’t just leave it sitting there right? So I move to pick it up, only to find out that the desk I dropped it on was magnetized! So here I am, trying and failing to pick up this one plant hanger for a solid 10 minutes.”

They both laugh at this, before noticing you. The unknown bug turns to face you, allowing you to see his mask.

“Oh, hello, I don’t believe we’ve met before!”

You greet him back, introducing yourself.

“It’s nice to meet you. My name’s Quirrell. I’m… well, I can’t really call myself an explorer, because I’ve already been everywhere! I’m more of a wanderer, really.”

Ahh, a free spirit, you see. You point out that just because he’s been everywhere doesn’t mean he’s seen everything. After all, who knows what could’ve gone down during Hallownest’s peak. Both Quirrell and Lemm get amused by this, for some reason. Seeing your confused look, Lemm decides to speak up.

"He probably knows more about Hallownest than everyone here, having lived here since before the infection and all."

Your eyes widen, and your wings begin to flutter. Truly? An original denizen, and not someone else trying to piece together its history? Quirrell waves off the words, though.

"I wouldn't go that far…" He begins, but Lemm cuts him off before he can go any further.

"Hah! Next you'll be telling me that you weren't the head assistant of the kingdom's best scientist!"

Giving off the equivalent of a blush, Quirrell rubs the back of his head. Lemm turns back to you.

"I'm sure you didn't come in just to chat, though. What can I get for you?"

It's nice to see him making friends.

------------------------------- By @schyrsivochter​

Lemm wasn’t a sociable person. That was a fact. He wasn’t good at talking, or at being friendly. (It wasn’t like he needed it, anyway. It had been a long time since he’d enjoyed conversing with another bug.)

No, Lemm was much more of a person for reading. Deciphering the journals of the long dead, the writing and languages, was something he thoroughly enjoyed. Other artefacts spoke differently: the materials from which they were made, the way they were worked, the artistic style. It was a different kind of reading; some might say a more figurative one. But it was just as interesting.

Of course, architecture was part of that. It had not been a coincidence that Lemm had set up camp in Hallownest’s abandoned capital. When he’d arrived, he hadn’t dared to think that he’d ever finish exploring and finding new things. And it was true; he’d only explored a little bit before he’d realised that collecting and gathering relics was no use if he never took a proper look at them, instead letting them gather dust on the shelves, the tables, and the floor of the long-abandoned shop he’d moved into. So he’d decided to stay there, poring over his collection. His picture of the world of Hallownest in times past grew ever more detailed, more complete.

He’d opened the shop because people did not seem to stop wanting to sell him relics, and it never hurt to appear a little professional. And it had been a reliable source of new artefacts; new knowledge. He’d never sold anything, of course. His collection was his, and his alone.

And then came the dark. The cleansing void. It had taken him by surprise; he’d been working, and only noticed that anything was amiss when the light dimmed and he was finally bathed in darkness. He must’ve fallen unconscious at that point, and there’d been no telling how long it had been until he’d awoken. It hadn’t been until later that he’d learned that this was what had obliterated the plague, leaving in its wake hundreds of confused survivors and thousands of dead. No, the next thing to happen that told him things were not as usual was that a bug had come in, asked if he was open, and, upon his affirmative answer, asked for a hot drink, holding out a piece of ten.

Taken by surprise, he’d offered to make tea. He’d immediately regretted it, since it meant the bug would be staying for a while, probably without selling him relics, but it was easy enough to do and would get him geo, his supply of which had been running low. So he put a kettle on and took the money. The bug had thanked him profusely, while he had elected to remain quiet.

Not long afterwards, the same bug and four others stood in the doorway. Whether they had relics for him, he’d asked. They’d looked amongst themselves, and one had asked, ‘Is this not a coffee shop?’

‘I suppose it might’ve once been,’ he’d said. ‘Now it’s mine.’

More confused looks and standing around, and then the bug he’d seen before asked if he’d make more tea. He’d said no, not unless they paid him twice as much as the last time and stayed quiet and didn’t disturb him in his work. To his horror, the five bugs had agreed, and so he’d dug out cups from the coffee shop’s former stock and afterwards found himself a little richer in geo but with a significantly worse mood.

He had his peace afterwards, though. At least for a while. Now a bug had arrived, taller than the others, wearing a headscarf. Lemm had mentally prepared for the bug to ask for coffee, but the bug had halted in front of one of the tables that Lemm had repurposed for his collection of relics.

‘Admiring my collection?’ Lemm asked.

’Yes, quite!’ the bug answered, chipper and friendly. ‘I’m curious how you managed to get a hold of so many texts in such diverse languages! These are journals, are they not?’

‘They are,’ Lemm acknowledged. ‘From all over Hallownest.’

‘But most of them aren’t any Hallownest language.’ The bug put a hand on his mask. ‘I suppose they’re from travellers that came to the ruins and perished?’

‘Quite right,’ Lemm said. He had to admit, begrudgingly, that the bug standing before him was sharp and knew his history. A trait not many others shared.

‘Can you read all of them?’ The mask turned towards Lemm, inclined in question.

‘No,’ he answered truthfully, making his way around the counter to stand next to the bug. ‘I haven’t had the time to decipher all of them yet. But I’ll get around to it eventually.’

‘Interesting,’ the bug said. ‘I can—huh?’

He turned towards the entrance, and Lemm followed his gaze. Lemm was about to ask what the problem was, when a bug appeared in the entrance. The one that he’d made tea twice for. Ah yes, he thought. A customer. Two of them, in fact; one of the others from before had joined the one who’d taken a fancy to paying Lemm to make tea.

‘I don’t suppose,’ Lemm said, ‘there is any way to convince you to find tea somewhere else?’

The bugs shook their head.

Lemm sighed, and muttered an apology to the tall visitor. Time to get it over with.

He went to the back room to prepare the tea, and overheard the two visitors conversing in the front.

‘What’s this, anyway?’

‘Historical documents. Journals of travellers.’

‘What’s it doing here?’

‘I think the shopkeep collects them.’

‘That’s correct!’ Lemm called. ‘I’m always buying, if you have anything of historical value.’

He grabbed the cups and walked back to the front. ‘That’s fifty geo. Unless you have relics.’

The bugs complained under their breath, but paid up, and Lemm could direct his attention back to the visitor.

‘So is this what you do?’ they asked. ‘Opened the coffee shop again and collecting relics in your free time?’

Lemm was dumbstruck for a moment. Then he remembered to be outraged. ‘No! I am not opening this place as a coffee shop! People just keep coming and demanding tea and I cannot let an opportunity to earn easy money go to waste!’

‘Relic business not exactly booming, then, I assume?’

‘I’m—’ he spluttered, ‘It’s not a business! I don’t sell my relics, they’re mine!’

‘So you wouldn’t have any income if you weren’t selling tea?’

Lemm had the distinct impression that the bug was making fun of him. He didn’t answer, but simply walked up to the table, grabbed a random journal, and took it to his desk to try and get some work done.

He had not yet prepared his quill and ink when he was interrupted yet again.

‘You know,’ the visitor called, ‘that one is from a traveller from Greynest. Came here looking for his brother, never found him. No doubt said brother also perished in the ruins.’

Lemm turned around to see the bug standing in the doorway, having followed him halfway. ‘And how do you know this?’ he asked.

The bug shrugged. ‘I read it.’

Lemm regarded the bug. They didn’t seem to be joking.

‘You mean to tell me,’ Lemm began, slowly, ‘you know this language?’

‘Yes,’ they said nonchalantly. ‘I think I’ve been to Greynest? Must have been a while ago.’

‘Are you a traveller, then?’ Lemm asked. ‘You don’t seem the type.’

As soon as he’d spoken the words, Lemm became aware how utterly ridiculous it was of him to make observations about people. He didn’t like people, he wasn’t interested in people—

The bug laughed. ‘I am, in fact. I have travelled far and wide.’

‘Hmph,’ said Lemm, unsure what else to say. He turned back to his work, looked at the angular shapes carved into the stone, but now it seemed senseless to try and make sense of it when he knew that it was no mystery to the bug standing behind him.

At some point, he looked up and found that he was hungry and the visitor was gone. Oh, well. Time for a meal, then, and afterwards he might be able to find something else to do.

* * *

The next time the tea-drinker returned, they asked for tea and then asked Lemm about the relics, and he was in a favourable enough mood to talk about them. They asked some fairly stupid questions, but it seemed to come out of a genuine interest in the topic, so he indulged them. Plus, he had to admit that he enjoyed having a reliable source of geo. Not that he needed it much for buying relics, these days, but he supposed that his supplies of food – and of tea – would not last indefinitely, and he didn’t particularly fancy having to go back to scavenging, now that there were actual people living in the vicinity again. No, he’d rather find some place where he could buy what he needed fair and square.

The traveller with the headscarf returned, and it was an odd sort of feeling Lemm had about them. Like he actually liked having them in his shop and talking to them. And the perplexing thing was that the bug also seemed to enjoy conversing with Lemm. Which one one hand was absolutely preposterous, on the other … it was a refreshing change.

The bug introduced himself as Quirrel, apprentice to Monomon the Teacher, and Lemm could hardly believe it. Monomon the Teacher, one of the most brilliant minds of Hallownest? It couldn’t be! And yet it was not all too difficult to imagine. He’d seen stranger things in these lands.

Quirrel also was the one who later suggested Lemm officially open the shop as a coffee shop again. Lemm had thrown him out at that and gone back to work.

Now, a short while later, he looked up and Quirrel was back, standing at the counter, watching Lemm silently.

Lemm rose and went to the front, choosing to stare back equally silently. Lemm was good at that. Probably.

‘So,’ Quirrel said at length, his voice still as annoyingly friendly as ever, ‘have you thought about it?’

Lemm kept staring.

Quirrel held up his hands. ‘You need money, you don’t have much else to do, and besides’ – Quirrel shrugged. – ‘people like your tea.’

‘I certainly have enough to do,’ Lemm started. ‘These texts don’t decipher themselves. What’s so funny?’

Quirrel stopped his giggling and said, ‘They sort of do. Have you forgotten who stands before you?’

‘You don’t read all of these languages.’ Really, Quirrel’s ego was getting on Lemm’s nerves.

‘But most of them,’ Quirrel said, shrugging, ‘and most of the Archive’s records are intact. And we do have a nice section on language and writing.’

Lemm was silent for a moment, mostly because he could not think of a good comeback. Quirrel had a point, and Lemm did not like that in the slightest.

‘Let’s make a deal,’ Quirrel said. ‘I help you translate your texts and catalogue your artefacts, and you’ – Quirrel jabbed a finger in Lemm’s direction – ‘you sell your tea officially.’

‘Out of the question.’

‘You’re already doing it.’

‘I am not!’

‘Yes, you are.’ Quirrel said this with absolute certainty and no anger, and there was a voice at the back of Lemm’s mind that said: You really sort of are. And you could use the help. You don’t like the busywork anyway.

‘All right,’ Lemm grumbled. ‘Deal.’

‘Thank you,’ said Quirrel, audibly grinning.

‘I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?’ Lemm asked under his breath.

‘I don’t think so,’ Quirrel said. ‘I’m curious – what else can you make? Tea alone is a bit boring, don’t you think?’

‘Shut up,’ Lemm said, ‘or I change my mind.’

* * *

Lemm did not change his mind, even though Quirrel didn’t shut up. It had been a while, and Lemm hated to admit it, but he enjoyed doing something different for a change. Customers were now plenty, and Lemm had a menu with more than one item, and his relic collection was no bigger, but more orderly and better understood than it had ever been, thanks to Quirrel’s – and the Archive’s – help.

Another thing that Lemm was not quite ready to admit was that people could be nice. The more he talked to customers, interacted with them, observed them, the more he began to appreciate them. He used to be content in reading historical texts and artefacts, preferring to learn about people that were dead and gone. Living bugs had never really interested him.

Nowadays, however, it seemed that people could be just as interesting to read as anything else. And, as Quirrel entered, greeting him, and he could not help his mood being lifted just by the prospect of learning something new and interesting that Quirrel learnt on his last trip to the Archive, Lemm supposed that sometimes, very rarely … people were something he could enjoy.

------------------------------- By @gardening-clown​

------------------------------- By @buglife​

Lemm was five seconds away from throwing someone through the window.

His shop was now occupied by five bugs of various species, talking, laughing, and sitting around when he could be in the back doing literally anything else. It took weeks of bugs thinking that his relic shop was a coffee one before he simply gave up and made peace with it. At least he got some geo from it to pay adventurers that did come by to sell legit relics. How they mistook his shop for a coffee one, he would have never guess.

All he had was a little brewer that was barely put back together that he scavenged from some random shop, but other bugs seemed to like it, for some strange reason. It wasn’t even good coffee he was making, but they seemed to accept it. After all, who else in this dead kingdom was even selling coffee? He had looted plenty of shops and took as many sacks of beans as he would when he first arrived, and there was no way he could drink them all, so he might as well do something with them.

But he was steadily losing his patience with the amount of bugs around him. They were talking and loitering. Loitering was probably the worst of it all as it made the loner bug feel his shell crawl with the forced social interaction. He just wanted them to leave. He couldn’t stand the feeling of a crowded space, which is why he went to a dead kingdom in the first place.

Hell, he had to take his beloved odds and ends down from the shelves to keep some curious bug from touching them all up with their dirty fingers and breaking something.

He found himself dreading the sound of the bell above his door, and when it rang he wondered if someone else was coming to ask him for some random drink or be an annoying thorn in his side.

To his hidden delight however, it was the little wanderer. They looked like a grub, to be honest, with a black body and a stark white horned shell for a head. The nail on their back seemed to be a little put together the last time he saw them, perhaps they visited the Nailsmith? He never asked for their name, he didn’t want to learn it to avoid attachments, but he found them oddly endearing. They liked to listen to him ramble about his theories on various relics they bring him, so they can’t be too bad. Plus they were quiet and polite, something he was immensely grateful for.

They bounced inside the door and came to a stop, looking at the five other bugs sitting around and chatting. They tilted their head to the side, watching the bugs for a moment before looking at Lemm. They stretched out a stubby arm from under their cloak and pointed at him.

Lemm sighed. Of course, the little Wanderer had been gone for a while, and obviously didn’t know what had become of his beloved shop. He gestured for them to come over, which they did and looked up at him expectantly.

“Bugs keep thinking that this is a coffee shop.” He explained. “So here they are, drinking coffee that I make on a terrible little brewer. I gave up trying to kick them all out all the time, it stopped being worth the effort.”

The little wanderer blinked a few times, looking somewhat confused. They pointed to the cup being held by the beetle on one of Lemm’s chairs and mimed the action of drinking it.

“Yes, that’s coffee they are drinking.” He raised a brow as he looked down at the grub. “Haven’t you ever seen coffee before?”

They shook their head.

“Really now? Hrm…” He wasn’t sure where the little wanderer had come from if they never saw coffee before. It was a fairly common drink besides tea. They must have grew up in a rather isolated place If they never saw it. He decided he might as well explain it, it would be better to do it now than later.

“Coffee is a drink that bugs like to drink to give them energy.” He saw them perk up a bit at the ‘energy’ part. “It’s rather bitter, so some like it with sugar. I like it plain. It keeps me awake when I am working.”

They somehow made a face when he said it was bitter, tilting their head and angling their eye holes to look affronted. Lemm squashed down a laugh at the expression and decided to get to business.

“Anyway, they trade me geo for it, which lets me compensate bugs that get me relics. Do you have any for me today?” He hoped they did, he needed something to brighten up his day.

The wanderer nodded, reaching under their cloak to pull out a black orb. Lemm recognized it immediately to be an arcane egg. He loved working with those. Peeling back each layer revealed new information and new discoveries. He was in fact, still working on the one he got weeks before. He needed to be careful with them, and he reveled in the intense focus and work it needed to discover it’s secrets. His day instantly got better.

“Very nice, I’ll be glad to take that off your hands for the usual price.” The old beetle held out his hand and the wanderer gently placed the egg it in. They held up a hand once it was free and shook their head, pointed to a cup sitting on the counter.

“Ah, you want to trade this for a cup of coffee?” He wasn’t going to say no to that. If the wanderer was okay with it, it was a perfectly reasonable business transaction. His suspicions were confirmed when they nodded and bounced in place, looking as excited as they were able to. “Well I can certainly do that.”

Thankfully, the two bugs occupying the chairs in front of the counter left, leaving behind their dirty cups and a few geo for the mess. They thanked him and he grumped out a ‘have a good day’ as they left, seemingly indifferent to his mood. Oh well, at least it brought down the occupancy to a more manageable level for his social batteries. He pushed the dirty cups out of the way and gestured to an open seat. “Here, sit down and I’ll get you a cup.”

They bounced upwards to take a seat, swinging their legs back and forth as they waited. It didn’t take Lemm long to throw some ground up beans and water into the grinder, watching the brewed coffee pour into a clean cup. He carefully carried the hot cup down and set it in front of the wanderer. “Be careful, it’s very hot. I’ll bring you some sugar, you didn’t seem to like the ‘bitter’ description.”

They nodded and watched as he pushed over a bowl of honey sugar and a spoon. It was the least he could do after they got him another arcane egg.  “There you are, help yourself.”

They bowed their head in thanks and took up the spoon, poking it into the bowl.

“Excuse me,” One of the bugs by the window got up, the one with a bent antenna and holding their empty cup. “Could I get a refill, please?”

Lemm held back a sigh and nodded, taking the cup and heading back to his brewer. He had to smack it a couple times for it to start working again, but in the end he got a passable cup of coffee out of it. He returned just in timed to hear said bug exclaim, “Woah there buddy, you must really like sugar!”

He looked to the wanderer, who had added so much sugar to their cup of coffee, that he could hear the sugar that couldn’t dissolve scrape against the ceramic as it was stirred. It looked like fresh cement, there was only a bit of brown to denote that once, it was indeed a cup of coffee.

He wordlessly handed the other bug their coffee, who took it and retreated back to sit by the window. He was about to say something to the wanderer, when to his horror, their head tilted backwards. A maw of sharp black teeth opened wide, and he watched, astonished, as the mix of sugar and coffee oozed into their mouth and to who knows where. A long black tongue lashed out to get every last bit of sugar out of the cup, before the mouth closed with a quiet click. They must have felt him staring, because they turned to look at him with their fathomless, dark eyes. He stared back, wondering what the hell was actually sitting in front of him.

They then bounced in place and gave him a thumbs up. They made a shape of a heart with their hands, a way that they say ‘thank you’. They seemed rather happy.

“Um…you’re welcome?” He managed, after he gathered his composure again.

They sat still for a moment, seeming to ponder on what they had just consumed. He figured that they were probably trying to figure out if they liked it or not. He doubt they even managed to taste the coffee from the sheer amount of sugar in that cup.

Then, to his horror, they began to vibrate. At first it was a few twitches, and then it steadily became more and more severe, until they were a literal blur. The chair rattled under the stress and the bugs that remained in the shop turned to look at the commotion.

It was then, Lemm realized he fucked up.

They suddenly dashed away, slamming into the shop door with such force that it caved outwards. There was only the short sound of shattering glass and the scream of metal before it flew off it’s hinges and rattled down the hallway. He could hear the hurried pitter-patter of the wanderer’s tiny feet, now fast enough to blur into one continuous sound, race down the hall and out of sight and hearing.

He just stood there, looking at the wreckage of his shop door, wondering where the hell is he going to get a replacement, if there even was a replacement. He looked at the three shocked bugs, standing and looking at the wreckage, and then he got himself an idea.

“Hey fellas,” He said, as he turned and looked at the bugs next to the window. “How would you all like some free coffee if you find me a door?”

------------------------------- By @radical-mudkips​

------------------------------- By @unregisteredcookie​

Lemm's 'shop' was empty.

Actually, no, that… that wasn't right. Lemm's shop wasn't a shop in the first place--it was a haven for relics and ancient knick-knacks, and the shelves were filled to overflowing with stone tablets and peculiar eggs that held unimaginable information. Not that Lemm was ever able to crack into the eggs' shells, but he knew--he knew there was more treasured information sleeping beneath. If only he were able to open it up without risking that information being damaged.

And that wasn't right, either. The shop being empty, that was. Right now, the shelves were empty, but that was less because of the absence of relics and more because they were all stowed away in the back room to be sorted. He had a notebook he was combing over, quill in hand as he scribbled out little bits of information that might relate to one another.

'Might', because Lemm wasn't really from Hallownest. So he didn't know for sure whether this smooth L-shaped contraption was a door handle or a piece to a lost work of art.

It was while Lemm was scribbling about in this journal bound in parchment (hand-made and flimsy, using the paper he found around the area that was clean and allowed to dry) that he heard it: The distant clattering of the elevator. There were about seven options he could think of off of the top of his head, each more dreaded than the last. It could be that scarcely-seen Nailsmith who seemed to know more about the history of this ruin than he let on. It could be the peculiar little silent bug that stared up at him now and again, the one that sometimes passed by with a relic to sell. It could be that talkative windbag, droning on and on in his droning voice, so grating and persistent that Lemm struggled to ignore him. He was probably the worst.

Lemm stopped writing, tilted his head, and listened for the telltale sound. The rattling stopped, and all that he heard for a while was silence. And then.

Ding.

He sighed, getting to his feet. A customer it was, then. How delightful. Here's hoping that the customer wasn't 'Zote the Mighty'.

He had a small moment of dread when he saw the horn, a critical blow of dismay that tempted him to retreat back into the back room and pretend to be out for a walk, but then he saw the second horn and breathed a sigh of relief. Oh, it wasn't the Zote person after all. It was… them. The other little one.

They looked up at him as he approached the register and looked down at them. Their eyes were vacant as ever, face impossibly unreadable. Lemm doubted that he'd ever get used to it.

Lemm liked this little bug, if for no other reason than they were quiet, kept their hands to themself, and brought him relics to purchase. They were the only one willing to sell these relics, and they were the only reason Lemm often said what he said next.

"Cup of coffee, or looking to sell?"

He never had much company in this place until the Nailsmith (Lemm never caught his name, never bothered asking, really) first came in looking for materials for his smithing. Almost took one of Lemm's Pale Idols from under his beard while he was noting in his journal. After the initial yelling that followed and a cup of coffee, the Nailsmith apologized by paying for the cup. And he did it again. And again. Until the mapmaker came in, saw, and bought a cup himself. Until the hooded pillbug came in, hummed, and bought one for himself. And then--

Well. And then he had a coffee shop.

Lemm wished he could say that he hated it, and he did, at first. But over time, he found the company rather pleasant. Besides, the geo paid for this little bug's relic collection well enough, so he wasn't complaining.

So. Did they want a cup of coffee, or did they want to sell their relics? Lemm didn't get an answer. Instead, they looked around at the empty shelves for a moment before turning their empty eyes back onto him, tilting their head to the side slightly.

It took Lemm a moment.

"Oh, I moved the relics into the back room," he said. "I've been needing to work on sorting them out and writing notes about them. Never would I have thought that I would have so many to study."

Satisfied, they reached into the confines of their cloak. Lemm leaned forward a little, watching as they rummaged about for a moment, heart skipping a beat as he pondered what sort of relic they were going to sell this time.

And then they withdrew their small hand, reached up, and dropped a fist full of geo onto the counter.

Lemm blinked and stared at the geo for a moment. Something wispy and thin clung to them, and when he picked it up and opened the register, it was sticky. Was this webbing? Lemm wasn't aware of there being any spiders in Hallownest, aside from maybe that red-cloaked bug he saw very rarely flitting about outside his window.

So. No relics today. Fine, at least he'd have more money to buy another one later.

"One coffee coming up," he murmured, rummaging around behind the counter. Underneath the register was where he kept the coffee pot, which he refrained from moving just so he could be prepared if a 'customer' came by. He busied himself with it for a few moments, filling the filter and checking the water, before clicking the button and letting it steep. Granted, he didn't know what kind of coffee they'd drink, but they didn't make it clear anyway, so he doubted that it mattered.

Besides. They seemed a little preoccupied by something else at the moment. After a few minutes, the coffee was finished, and Lemm poured them a cup. He chose a caramel-like flavor, because they seemed about the size of a child and a little bit of sweetness never hurt anyone. Lemm reached over the counter and held it out to them, which they took in their hands and stared down at for a moment. Lemm was about ready to head back into the back when it happened. A crack. It almost sounded like something breaking, but when he turned to look behind himself at the small knight, they still stood there. Another crack, one that made his fur stand on end and his body stiffen, and Lemm caught the glimpse of something sharp and white shifting beneath the bottom of their mask.

A mouth?

They tilted their head back. A jaw opened. Many layers of teeth glimmered in the dim light, cracking as they did so, the noise chilling him through his chitin and making his hemolymph freeze. Lemm stood there, stock still, as they lifted the cup up to their face, jaw extending outwards to drink it, and then-- --they set the scalding hot coffee in their mouth, cup and all, closed it, and crunched.

Lemm had never seen a bug eat a cup of coffee before. He could still hear the crunch, crunch, crunching, muffled and quiet and growing quieter, noise sounding like a particularly crunchy tiktik being eaten.

Lemm shuddered. When the knight looked back at him, he turned around quickly and went into the back room.

Okay. Suddenly they weren't the second most welcome sight for sore eyes. Suddenly Lemm wished that it was that talking, yapping Zote fellow who came in instead.

------------------------------- By @doodle-chris​

------------------------------- By @payasita​

There was no shortage of open real estate as far as the City of Tears was concerned. But that certainly didn't make every option an equally viable living space.

First, Lemm wanted something enclosed away from the rain, and insulated enough to stave off the humidity. That discounted anything open to the outside, as he wouldn't risk his relics to even the threat of exposure. A leaking roof dripping down onto crumbling tablets or fragile spider silk could devastate hundreds of years worth of history, so that also discounted any room without a few protective floors above it.

Next, it had to be out of the way of any and all shambling husks and infected critters. They weren't the brightest of creatures, so a room only accessible by elevator was ideal. He'd never seen anything plague-cursed have enough wherewithal to operate one, and the noise of it would give him plenty warning of visitors otherwise.

Lastly, he wanted someplace with plenty of shelf space. He needed little in the way of actual living space, so long as he had ample storage room set up in such a way that things could easily be organized.

All of these qualities described, in his opinion, the ideal relic storage and research dwelling. And in the end, he was lucky enough to find it.

Unearthing the previous tenant's belongings informed him that it also, apparently, described the ideal setup for a small café. On his first day in his new residence, he'd uncovered an antique coffee machine and a few other ancient tools, kept miraculously free of rust and wear. The room's conditions must be far better than he thought.

He'd dusted his findings off and set them back up on the counter, having quickly deduced where they'd once been put to use through old nicks and rings left on the shellwood by years of service. Lemm had felt a small swell of pride at finding this small bit of the city's history, and began a set of notes on his theories about this tower complex and its surrounding culture from everything he found around. Perhaps the whole place had been a shopping centre.

On the second day, he pried open the crates in the back room, and they had spilled forth bags upon bags of beans and teas. There were so many of them that he was able to rationalize cutting one open and examining its contents without much guilt. The beans were coffee, that much was obvious at a glance.

Biological samples weren't exactly his area of expertise, but smell and texture alone all but convinced him that they'd been perfectly preserved in their airtight prisons, well dried and perfectly edible.

Most likely.

For the sake of research, and because the bag was already open, he put them through the machine. He committed some time to studying the machine beforehand, as he was afraid mishandling it may destroy it. But an hour of trying to figure the damn thing out was frustrating enough that he finally reasoned that if he did break it, he could at least take it apart and examine its insides for anything interesting. Lemm was a relic keeper, not a tinker. So he winged it with a bit of rainwater and the beans, and got wet beans and hot murky water all over the counter to show for it. He figured out the grinder and filter after his second attempt, and by the third, he had a mug of fresh coffee to show for his efforts. The scent that filled his shop and the outside corridor must have been nothing Hallownest had experienced in centuries. Lemm had little taste for the stuff himself, but in his experimentation he'd gone and made a whole pot. So he supposed he needed to acquire a taste for it rather quickly.

Luckily for his health, that turned out to be unnecessary. The smell, perhaps amplified in the ever-present petrichor, quickly attracted guests of the still-living variety. There turned out to be far more travelers and treasure hunters bumping around this old city than he'd initially expected, prone to tucking himself away in solitude as he was. Introverted or no, he happily gave the coffee away rather than waste it or risk giving himself a coronary. There were even a great deal of disposable mugs stacked away that just made it all the more convenient.

Just over the course of an hour, Lemm was graced with a fair amount of odd characters intruding on his doorstep. There was a surly fellow wielding a metal shield of some foreign make, who announced his intentions towards finding and conquering Hallownest's old colosseum. He was convinced it was still in operation somewhere. Lemm decided that if it was, the place was more than likely not populated with the sorts of honorable warriors this poor bastard was looking to prove himself against, but he kept his thoughts to himself and sent the boy off with a steaming cup of acrid bean water. Next came another traveller who gave off a more scholarly air than the first had, and who carried a more conventional weapon at his hip. The pill bug certainly acted more like a student than a warrior, all bright-eyed and curious and talkative. But no doubt he must know how to use that nail of his to have survived this far down and still be so cheerful. His stay wasn't entirely unpleasant; the two actually talked a short while about Hallownest's history and their shared learnings. The bug even tried to insist on paying, but Lemm was adamant that his reliquary wasn't a damn breakfast nook, thank you, keep your geo. But if he really wanted to pay, Lemm would certainly take any interesting artifact or trinket the bug happened to pick up on his travels. They eventually came to an agreement: A journal pilfered from a shrine somewhere in Greenpath for an extra cup for the road. Lemm's next visitor was, of all things, a cartographer. This one was far too involved in his work for much conversation, which was fine by Lemm. But he did manage to barter a cup for a map of the city. It was incomplete and bare of any landmarks, much to Lemm's disappointment. Finally, an odd little wanderer walked in almost soundlessly. They did not speak to Lemm, nor did they give any indication that they were here for any specific reason. But they had acquired an old city crest and a King's idol on their path, and Lemm had a more typical exchange of geo for relics with them. And then because it was the last of the coffee in the still warm pot, and because the little wanderer did not refuse, he sent them off with a cup on their way out. Thankful to be rid of all the blasted coffee and done with the uptick in social interaction, he then washed the pot and continued with his normal studies. It was nice and quiet, now.

But then the next morning, the pill bug returned. And he was surprised (and clearly disappointed) to see the coffee pot empty. It was a shame, he'd said. For he'd gone and found himself another journal, and considered a relic he couldn't use for a hot morning's drink to be a fine deal indeed. Lemm was inclined to agree, for how it saved him his geo in case of a more potentially significant find down the line. He turned the machine back on at once at the prospect. Unfortunately, he didn't know how to brew just one cup, and was still rightfully intimidated by the old, fussy contraption, and not inclined to mess with what worked. So he made another full pot, and talked shop.

The pill bug wasn't the only one to return that day. The would-be gladiator came back, still not having found his destination, and had the gall to just expect another drink. After the deal he'd just made, Lemm was feeling markedly less generous than he had been the day before, and informed his nasally guest that he'd have to barter something old and interesting for it.

The ant grumbled and left, but returned a few minutes later with a guardsman's crest. He'd apparently seen old treasures all over the place, but had found it beneath him to go and pick them up." A warrior has no need to weigh himself down with baubles," he'd sneered over his cup. Lemm privately thought that the plague-crazed beasts who were doubtlessly running the colosseum now would soon show this haughty kid what they cared for his warrior’s creed in due time, so he said nothing.

The silent wanderer came later. This time when they held up an ancient journal, they made no move to take the geo held out to them. They only stared at Lemm, with their little mask so perfectly unmoving he could easily think them a sudden corpse. Then his hand drifted towards the pot, and the creature set the journal down on the counter.

"...News of a relic keeper bartering goods for coffee has already spread among your lot, then? I suppose even wanderers must have a rumor mill," Lemm talked to himself while pouring their cup. Predictably, they padded away without an answer, drink in hand. Lemm would soon learn how right he was.

- The coming days were more lucrative than his business had ever been. All the travellers he'd met before all came back with various oddities found around Hallownest, as did anyone new. Though not everyone quite understood what constituted a relic, and Lemm had to turn down more than a few shiny rocks and petrified lake detritus. But they all got the routine down soon enough. And, well, Lemm did have an extraordinary amount of coffee that'd just go to waste for another thousand years otherwise, so, may as well.

The pill bug, Quirrel, came to be his best "customer", though Lemm would be twice damned before he ever said the word aloud. Either way, Quirrel often stayed long enough just chatting to warrant a second cup.

"I ought to have you bring double the treasure," Lemm griped once while handing that second cup over. Quirrel's response was a good natured laugh.

"Perhaps elsewhere, that'd be fair. Coffee was a luxury in some lands, and remains so to this day, but by my understanding it was quite in abundance here. Though I couldn't tell you where in the world they must have been growing it," he mused. Lemm raised a brow, wondering once again where in gods' names this bug was educated. But as asking would be an invitation to hear his life story, Lemm deferred.

"Is that right?" he asked instead, "I don't care for the stuff myself, luxury or no." "Really? Not an uncommon opinion, I suppose. I picked it up as a habit at one point... Though, I couldn't tell you when, now that I think of it," Quirrel trailed off, adjusting the oversized mask over his head. Lemm found it an odd choice of protection from the rain, though he supposed it was better than nothing. He only shrugged, "I hear many students do make a habit of caffeine. Your sorts can never get enough hours out of the day."

Quirrel stared at him for a brief moment, and then huffed a laugh again. "Student? You mistake me, sir. I've only ever been a traveller for as long as I can remember."

Lemm didn't bother to mask his surprise, and Quirrel's eyes crinkled. "You're right on that second part, though. So much to see, and never enough time." He took a sip.

-

The mapmaker came back one day with an order for two drinks. He had no relics, but offered an extra inkwell and quill instead. Lemm found equipment for keeping good notes was lucky to come by, and reluctantly made the trade, much to the old bug's gratitude.

"Thank you, the second is for my wife running our shop surface-side. It was her suggestion you might want materials for your research."

Lemm cleared his throat, blustering slightly under his beard.

"Ahh. Hm. I can appreciate that, then."

"Oh, on that note, have you any sugar you can add in for her?" The bug peered over Lemm’s shoulder, which rankled him for some reason.

"...I did find a jar back here somewhere, I think." Though he couldn't promise it was good. Could sugar go bad? It still just looked like white sand.

"Thank you. ...Err, actually, is that a box of tea on the shelf, there?"

Lemm paused in his rummaging, and looked back at the open storeroom door. The room now made a good home for his relics, though he never bothered unpacking the open crates.

"...It is," he eyed the bug neutrally.

"Ah. Iselda enjoys her coffee, though I quite prefer a good cup of tea myself. ...Erm, if it isn't too much trouble, of course," the bug grinned politely over folded hands.

Lemm, to his credit, did not sigh. There was indeed a kettle back there, too. And at least he knew how to brew tea without making an entire day's worth of it.

He brought up the jar of sugar, and leveled the bug with a grumpy look.

"Fine. But next time, you bring relics."

The cartographer acquiesced immediately, and that was the point where Lemm realized he'd invited them both to expect a "next time".

-

The silent wanderer came back again, on the tail of a group of treasure hunters who came in and left up the elevator. Shortly after, there was the sound of struggle above them.

This had become commonplace. Anyone who showed up had to contend with the violent husks above and beyond the shop, and some were more prepared to deal with the dangers of Hallownest than others. Lemm only poured the wanderer's cup in bored silence, tuning out the thumping and shouts above. "You know this stuff stunts your growth, right?" Lemm asked flatly. The wanderer only ever stared.

"Dehydrates you, too. You active types probably ought to stick to water. Imagine having to deal with the horrors of rotting sentries and whatnot with a diuretic sloshing about in you." Unbothered, they leaned forward and took their cup in both hands, still staring up while he spoke. Lemm honestly had no idea if they even understood him, and considered the possibility that their muteness was compounded by a language barrier. But they at least always made the effort to appear attentive.

There was a thundering crash above them that made Lemm flinch, and then a silence that kept him tense. The voices started up once again after a few seconds, and the sound of footsteps hurrying away as fast as they could. By his guess, his last customers had just had a very close encounter with a belfly. He'd likely not be seeing them again.

He turned his attention back down to the wanderer with a sigh.

"...Let me see what you have, then."

The tiny thing set their cup carefully down by their feet, and fished a genuine void egg from the depths of their grubby cloak. Lemm was struck with the brief impulse to give them the entire coffee machine for it.

-

There was a new visitor one morning, just as Lemm brewed the pot for his regulars. He rarely got anyone so very early, and was guiltily nursing his own cup of acrid sugary heart disease before anyone would be around to see. Alright, so he'd acquired the taste for it. It was hardly unreasonable with how much time he spent around the smell, and it helped him make up for lost time studying his relics later in the night. Perfectly understandable, and so he definitely did not freeze mid sip like he was caught in a crime when the door opened unexpectedly. The red-clad stranger who walked in wore a wicked-sharp needle slung across her back, and fixed him with an even sharper gaze.

"...I hear you sell tea." Her voice was quiet enough, but cut clear without the normal hesitant lilt of a question.

Lemm slowly put down his mug, and the soft thunk it made against the countertop sounded awfully loud in the morning lull.

"...I don't sell anything. I buy," he insisted.

The altogether frightening lass glanced between him, the full coffee pot, and the kettle sat next to a stack of assorted loose leaf teas. Then back at him.

He grunted, hiding an inane flush of indignation behind another swig of his drink.

"...I seek artifacts. Relics of this place's past, and anything that may help me understand it, for geo. ...Or for a cuppa, for those who'd rather." He shifted behind the counter, nearly trailing off into a mumble. But at this point, there wasn’t much use in fighting his reputation.

The girl just scrutinized him until she seemed to come to a decision. She then turned and left without saying anything else, opting to hop down the elevator shaft rather than waste a moment calling the lift.

Lemm rolled his eyes and gulped down the dregs of his coffee, vaguely annoyed. By this point, he was used to the rude and half feral sorts of vagabonds that only came by out of curiosity. At least she was quick about leaving.

All the better for him, as far as he was concerned. He doubted such a young thing would have anything of note to share with Hallownest's foremost historian.