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chronically-ghosted · 3 months

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i totally agree that it’s ridiculous for people to write fics for films that haven’t been released yet, but the problem isn’t the smut itself. people have every right to write porn if that scratches the itch.

i think your main point is the most important: it’s impossible to write a thoughtful, inspired fic when we don’t even know the story it’s based on. no one knows who this character is or what he’s like.

at this point, everyone should just call a spade a spade and write pedro rpf. all they care about is seeing his face in different situations.

so my earlier post was not so much a statement on Pedro Pascal Character fanfiction/porn, but the commercialization of art and I interpreted the thoughts and opinions of others through the lens of the medium I most often express myself with, which is fanfiction.

let me be clear: i have no problem with smut - pwp or otherwise. people are allowed to write whatever they want, about whoever they want, with whatever tropes make them happy.

my overall focus (and granted it was probably very muddled by the end of those - what, like three reblogs?) was an interrogation of fanfiction as art, and the state of art in this modern era. and after doing some more thinking and listening to more people much smarter than me (thank you to everyone who dm-ed me directly to talk further about this), my opinion is thus: the creation of content (not art) is more ubiquitous today is not because we are getting more stupid as a society, not because of our failing attention spans, not because we are on the brink of moral collapse but because we physically do not have the mental strength to be intellectually curious as a direct result of constant, distracting, emotionally-draining stimuli.

i can explain what i mean below the cut with two primary examples, specifically regarding the shift in fanfiction cult, and yes, the prominence of smutty oneshots in the pedro pascal character fandom of which this blog is a part of.

I have been in various fandoms for almost twenty years. I have been writing fanfiction for almost that same amount of time. In recent years, I've noticed two trends that initially discouraged me, but that I now believe is a symptom of our adjustment to a modern, constantly online era.

A severe lack of engagement within the artistic artifacts of a fandom

The quality of the fanfiction itself (because yes I do consider fanfiction to be an artform) has gone down hill - mostly.

Lack of engagement:

Art is inherently created to be shared. This is especially true for fandom because the community lives or dies by how many people are interacting with each other and sharing ideas (news, theories, fanart, fanfic, etc). If you say a fandom is dead, it means there haven't been any new posts or fic about it in years. So I don't wanna hear it when people say, "oh write for yourself, you shouldn't be chasing engagement" because that is antithetical to the very concept of fanfiction.

In recent years, I have seen and experienced myself engagement in my work only so far as a like or kudo. This is not how it used to be. Message boards (yes I am that old) and niche fandom sites were constantly abuzz with media sharing and excitement, and everyone enjoyed some version of praise (unless you got hit by the antis but they're never fun anyway). Initially I blamed this drop in engagement on laziness: people just want the next thing, they can't be bothered to appreciate the hard work writers put in and they just see content and art as the same thing - stuff to consume.

But I myself am GUILTY of minimal reblogs and comments and I LOVE what I'm writing - the impact certain works leave me with is long, long lasting but for some goddamn reason, I can't sit down and praise the author's works. Am I lazy? Possibly, but this is also not an isolated behavior and it's on the rise: people do not have time to engage with fandom/fanfic like they used to. Most people I know have worked at least two or three jobs at some point in their lives to just to make rent. This gen z is the first generation in DECADES to be worse off economically than their parents. With an interest rate at 8%, who the fuck can afford the security of a home anymore? We work ourselves to the bone for scraps and the realization that The Dream has officially died. And so what do we want to do in the free time we do have? Engage with the very bare minimum. We want to read things that we can at best skim, things we don't have to think about or engage with in any meaningful way. We want a way to turn off the noise of the next apocalypse and sometimes the best we can do is the tap of a thumb.

Which brings me to my next point: what the fuck happened to thoughtful fanfiction?

But this question is inextricably linked to the points above: oneshots are easier to write, faster to write, and if you write fic that is basically "Mad libs porn" (without ever engaging in the actual medium because it is literally not released yet), you are doing the most minimal work for the most amount of engagement. But I can't fault ANYONE for doing that. It feels good to be told your smut is "so hot" or "this exploded my panties" and in this era where the time available to create is so fucking small and minimized of course you're going to write for the most popular character, whether or not you're interested in the source material because we want our art to matter to someone. Intellectual pundits loooove to lambast our "shorter attention spans" but fuck, when are we allowed the time to think - in between this "100 year storm" that's happened twice in the past five years, or the global pandemic that turned millions of deaths into a political punching bag, or the next video of a white woman crying wolf to the police over an innocent black man, or - or - or - or

In a day where reality and the world as we know seems to be holding onto a thread, we turn to comfort: comforting tropes (dbf to rape/kidnap fantasies), comforting fanfic (pwp), and comforting ways to engage with fandom. There is nothing wrong with wanting your art to be appreciated and there's nothing wrong with inherently wrong with pwp - but I do believe its symptomatic of a MUCH larger and more sinister movement within ALL art right now.

I come from the generation who banished fanfic authors for scrubbing off the filing numbers to their fics and publishing it as original content because, in our communities, they were selling out. Fanfiction is inherently an act of rebellion. Every time you write fanfiction you break canon, an established structure with its own rules and boundaries. So by trying to appeal to the masses, to curb your own writing to fit whatever is mainstream, you are doing a disservice to yourself AND to the art of fanfiction. If something you write becomes popular, wonderful, great, you are very lucky and there is nothing wrong with that either. But do not sell out your 13 beloved fans who WILL take the time to leave a comment, who WILL take the time to reblog because your weird little fic spoke to them on a fundamental level and now is with them for the rest of their lives - in favor of a 100 thumb taps.

If you've made it here, thank you very much for reading. I've added some links to some additional references to see how this concept of "populist" art is having a serious negative down turn in the quality of art, but is also not any one individuals personal failings:

Why the world is addicted to background tv by Kayleigh Day

How Modern Audience are failing cinema by Like Stories of Old

Rupi Kaur episode of Rehash podcast

I'm always here to talk fic and art and what makes you excited about your writing. Much love and please rest. We need you here.

#fandom #fandom thoughts #ppcu #populism #fanfiction #the state of art #the discussion of accessibility to art as form of intellectual gatekeeping was fucking fascinating on that podcast episode #rehash

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lily-alphonse · 27 days

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Hear me out, LeahxSandy rarepair💥

Ok hot. In some ways, Sandy is Leah dialed up to 11. Tall and taller. Ginger and gingerer. Cool and cooler. But they definitely also have their differences that make it fun.

Leah leans masc, happy in her hiking sandals and art smocks and doesn’t really ever wear makeup. She’s straightforward and honest in relationships. If she likes you, you’ll know. And you’ll probably be helpless to fall for her attention.

Sandy is a hyperfem trans goddess that isn’t afraid to wear heels despite her height. She’s seen everything working for Mr. Qi, so nothing bothers her either. But more than that, she knows people. She’s charming af.

When she spots Leah at Emily’s party she’s immediately interested. Leah approaches her and makes her own interest unflinchingly clear, and Sandy knows she’s going to have fun with this one.

"Well hello, gorgeous."

"Hello, sweetie" Sandy responds with an easy smirk.

"You into girls?"

"Ha!" She rolls her eyes at her tactlessness. "I suppose I could be. Depends."

"On?" Leah is already getting excited at the prospect of a challenge, and Sandy's deep rasping voice is seriously getting to her.

"How much you're willing to work for it."

And Leah's fate is at once SEALED.

My vision for these two is that Leah goes through a bit of a glowup dating Sandy, like she needs to match her vibe when they go out but in her own way. French braid, white or colored cropped suit with loafers and a nice watch. If I could draw at all I would draw them I have such a clear image in my head.

And they do go out quite a bit, because Sandy used to do drag and loves it and other types of live performances. They are both majorly into the arts, and share what inspires them about their respective artforms. Leah loves to paint and sculpt images of Sandy (and Sandy of course loves that because she knows she's hot shit) but she also encourages Leah's weirdness. The really weird art that barely looks like her actually turns out to be her favorite.

And Leah is the perfect test dummy for new makeup looks, and lets herself be dragged into dance routines and stuff just for fun.

The dynamic is that Sandy gets what she wants. She is almost always in charge, until something gets to her. While she is immensely independent and has seen and dealt with everything under the sun, she used to retreat into herself when things got hard. Now that she has Leah though, she trusts her to take charge when she needs to. Leah will also absolutely beat the shit out of anyone that fucks with her wife 😂 or just... find them directions when they are lost, whatever the case may be.

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

#stardew valley #sdv #answered asks #send asks #fic writer #ao3 writer #rarepair #shipping in the valley #rare ship #rarepair challenge #ficlet #fic idea #lily speaks #anon ask #sdv leah #sdv sandy #leah x sandy #sandy x leah

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caffemochachoco · 4 months

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lil bit of brainrot i had

(context: i saw that one trend 'you with the dark curls, you with the watercolour eyes' on twitter using rimlaine, and i decided to write a little something!)

you with the watercolour eyes.

as the rain washes our memories away, will what’s left be a faded palette, colours mixed beyond repair, blue and brown and everything beneath turned a murky grey? will what’s left of those deep sea, mysterious midnight sky eyes, be only known to me as blue once again?

one day, will all the colour wash out? will the tears slipping from my eyes waste the paint? will i then, have to retrieve a new palette and marvel at watercolours that are never the same pigment as your eyes? nothing will be the same anymore, my dear. maybe we were meant to be paint on a paintbrush, either made into something beautiful or washed away into the murky waters of fate’s paint cup. tell me dear, were we ever destined for something more than just a child’s art piece? were we meant to be acrylic, meant to be carved into stone? or were we meant to be messy fingerprints dotted on a kindergartener’s art block paper, ready to be thrown out as the child ages?

because watercolours are impermanent, my dear. once, they were a painting, a happy scenery of reds and yellows and blues, before getting washed away by the rain. before we knew it, before any of us could go out into the storm we brought and rescue this fickle painting, the colours were washed off the canvas into the earth. so, you with your watercolour eyes, as blue and hopeful as the sunny skies, will you stay or will you go with the rain?

because you were meant to be carved into marble, my love. ancient tales would speak your name. edges outlined with sharp black marker, softness filled in with vibrant oil pastels. you were meant to be lifelike, beautiful yet haunting in appearance, loving yet despising in heart, existing yet disappearing from my grasp. the details forever imprinted into white stone, smooth to the touch, your face clear as day, those hands that once lovingly touched my skin cold as stone, yet warm as embers after a blown out fire.

you were meant to be carved into marble and remembered, and yet, your canvas was torn from my heart, the sketchbooks of our time ripped and scattered. what was once vibrant now dull and dusty, hidden away in a corner i cannot fathom. what was once shining pale stone, now chipped and broken, thrown into the abyss i cannot yet reach. sketches to drawings to paintings- what use is there? only ripped pages are left. i cannot grasp the full pictures, only bits and pieces, shreds and tears. i cannot create, i can only destroy. your likeness is an artform that i am unable to conceive, and i must thank you for that. the watercolours spread from the pages, markers bleed, old crayons crumble. soon, there'll be nothing of me left. and yet, creation is a masterpiece, as is destruction.

maybe the boy who shares your watercolours will find you in his likeness once again. maybe the ghost who paints your heart in heavenly red and gold will finally let you appreciate a work of art. maybe the breath in your lungs will always be painted in vibrancy, coloured in sunlight locks, carved into marble, fired into porcelain.

maybe, when we meet again, your eyes will leave an everlasting stain in my brain, like a marker pressed down too hard- it's not perfect, but we could make something out of it.

#bsd #rimlaine

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carlos-in-glasses · 1 year

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I want you to know that your writing is so beautiful, and I think the amount of effort you put in to making other people feel good on Tumblr and in their fics is really something. I aspire to be more like you :)

Oh anon! I love it when the souls of anons are radiant and you can just feel it all glowing behind that little grey sunglasses face.

Thank you for being so sweet about my writing! I'm absolutely hilariously terrible at everything else so it's good to know that I have something okay going on!

I've been part of this fandom for roughly a year now. As it's my first fandom (and I understand they all vibe differently anyway???) it's taken me some time to find my feet, come out of my shell, learn certain etiquettes, and also learn what gives me the most joy. What I've found is - making other writers and artists feel good and encouraged is the best. I don't always do it right, and I'm sorry I can't do it for more people more quicky - as my spare time is limited (as is everybody's, of course) so I want to take this opportunity to apologise for being so behind with reading. (If anyone sees this and has tips for time management/managing a big Marked For Later list, please share!!!)

I also want to take this opportunity to say that if anyone wants me to tag them in WIP games or anything, please let me know as I'd be so happy to whenever I participate!!! I love experiencing fic through snippets and getting excited about it and sharing it around. Snippets and the moodboards people make are in themselves an artform and it's so great. Sometimes I forget to include 'open tag' in WIP tags but I'm going to do that more.

I just LOVE that I've found a community of people who are as gone for Tarlos and Lone Star as I am. It's such a treasure and I genuinely think I'm a more happy and confident person than I was this time last year. Thank YOU, anon, for that, because you're part of the whole thing that keeps the fandom going. ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

Please have the moment Carlos is terrified awake and balls up and passes the blanket to TK and TK takes it because this is my favourite moment ever ever:

#Ask #Thank you - you've lit up my Sunday morning

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amandacanwrite · 7 months

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The Happy Ending Isn't Always Happiness

Hi friends, this is something I originally shared on my newsletter, but I thought a lot of people here would benefit from reading it as well!

I spend a lot of time thinking about the Japanese art of Kintsugi.

For those of you who don’t know, Kintsugi is a Japanese practice in which broken ceramics are repaired with gold instead of ceramic slip. The idea is that by highlighting the imperfections in the broken glassware, you repair the vessel while also granting it a beautiful acknowledgement of its journey to what it is today. The origins of the practice aren’t entirely clear, but it is believed to embody the Japanese philosphy of wabi-sabi; the appreciation of simplicity and the beauty of imperfection.

The results are stunning, to say the least. But the real reason I find myself thinking about it so much is not necessarily because of what it looks like, but because of the symbolic power of mending broken things with gold—a rare and precious metal.

With the practice of Kintsugi, a cheap or even poorly made vessel is granted new value far beyond its original worth. In fact, it is through the shattering that the vessel is able to become more than what it was.

I don’t think very often about the things that capture my heart. To me, it is enough to be inspired by them and I don’t think too hard about why they move me so much, but this particular artform has had me thinking a lot lately. In particular thinking about how much I let my own mental health struggles and the day-to-day failings in my life get in the way of the things I desperately want for myself.

I am finally learning to take the advice I wrote in my own debut novel. (Holy hell, what a concept, right?)

“Juni,” he said, “You’re not going to be able to sort everything out in a vacuum. You can only grow and change by challenging yourself.” “But how can I challenge myself without falling to pieces? I can barely function around most people,” she said. “You lean on the people who love you; the people who have been supporting you anyway. You lean on me and your father and your mother. You let us help and protect you; you see yourself through our eyes until your own eyes adjust to the lighting,” he said.

I truly believe these words I wrote, and yet for so long I have been holding myself to the impossible standard of having to be “well” or “fixed” before I pursue something I really want. The feeling that I have to wait to be perfectly mentally healthy before I could even dare to strive for something.

For me, it’s never been about feeling undeserving. It’s always been about wanting to be able to seize the opportunity once I get it; something that can be hard to do when I’m struggling to get out of bed and take a shower in the morning. Or when my ADHD makes even the smallest of tasks feel like mountains.

But as I’ve been working with my editor on my book, I’ve realized that if I wait to “be well” to pursue things—if I wait until the stars align and a window of high functionality opens up—I will watch all of my endeavors sputter and peter out.

Facing this has required me to accept that in order for me to have success in life, I’m going to have to do it from a place of vulnerability. I’m going to have to fail publicly, falter on promises of how quickly I can finish things, and I’m just going to have to be honest about it when I simply do not have the energy to do things the way other folks do.

I want to embrace my cracks. I want to forge them in gold.

Sometimes the happy ending isn’t happiness.

Sometimes it’s just learning to keep going and to keep trusting the world around you to keep you buoyed and cradled in its kindness.

Sometimes it’s learning that the world will drop you sometimes; that you’ll get more cracks and will have to spend more time reconstructing yourself with that molten metal.

Juniper, the main character in my book, doesn’t cure her anxiety by the end of the book. She grows, and she gets braver, but much like it is in real life, those things don’t simply go away. I wrote it that way on purpose, because when you have a chronic mental illness it truly doesn’t go away. It sticks around and you learn how to make it your ally.

It feels silly to be learning this lesson now, close to three years after I wrote the words of my first draft. But, better late than never, right?

Thank you for sharing this journey with me.

I’ll leave you with a little snippet from the epilogue of With Love, Juniper.

Yes, she still had many of the odd fears and behaviors she always had; it was still nerve-wracking to place orders at restaurants or buy tickets at the train station. There was still the rare customer who would force an uncomfortable smile when she extolled the virtues of the nutrients found in cow manure or caught her speaking to her seedlings when they wandered into her store. But that was alright; she knew she wasn’t meant to appeal to everyone. She found the comfort in being an acquired taste, a delicacy for a special chosen few, so long as Oleander was counted among them. She wasn't entirely sure that it would always be easy, wasn't sure she would always feel so brave—but she knew that she had the support of the ones she loved to make it through the times that were truly frightening. She had done it once before, and she could do it again.

If you want to be involved this year in the release of my book, feel free to comment below and let me know if you'd like to join my writing taglist! ARC readers will be something we need soon, and I'm also doing a really cute cover reveal that you can participate in! Thanks so much for considering it either way!

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howtotrainyournana · 2 years

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All We Do anon here!!

I'm very happy to hear that interaction helps! It's one of the main reasons why I always try to engage with / show appreciation to authors with comments, asks, etc. The artist and audience thrive off of each other!! Creative mutualism is a thing that is to be cherished and nourished! And congratulations on those daily writing habits! I've been trying to write again after some years and it's been difficult breaking into it again. But I'm determined to do it!!

I love the new version of "Hello My Old Heart" so so much and I am very very happy to hear that you also love it!! Two very different perspectives shown by the two versions but both wonderful and heartfelt and human!!

Just started listening to some of your recommendations and I really like them! "Make This Timeline Brighter" is very soothing? Smooth? Not sure how to describe it but it's good!!

I will happily wait!! And also thank you so much for the snippet!! Love the homeliness of the descriptions!! All the thread and fabric makes me think of a warm cozy cottage. Very curious why Drea kidnapped a king? Is it before Techno gets controlled and this is a warning? Is it after and discussing what to do? Is it even after than that and Techno is a hero now?? Is this about winning the bet or something else entirely?? I'm so intrigued!

(also the "I am here, queer and ready to listen to music until my brain melts" made me happy. I too am here, queer, and ready to listen to music until my brain melts!! I love music so much!!! One of my absolute favorite artforms!!!)

(also hi mischeif-lileep, if you ever see this, I have no idea who you are but if you don't know Sleeping At Last, check them out!!! I realize my ask only refers to them as SAL, so here's the actual name so you can find the songs! SAL is really really good.)

(and one last note, yes having full conversations through asks is indeed very fun!! gives me something to look forward too as well everytime I check your blog!)

All We Do anon I love you and I'm kissing you gently on the forehead. *mwah*

Bless your entire face for being the person who gives feedback. You're doing blessed work and I hope every person you give encouragement and interaction to appreciates you. I know I do. Creative mutualism is so so real and we're propagating it together right now. Also, this is an encouragement and a threat - you ARE going to succeed getting back into writing and when you DO publish or share something, let me see it so I can scream encouragement at you like you've done for me. Because you deserve it. And whatever you create? I'm going to be proud of you for it. That is a threat.

I'm glad you liked the recommendations!!!! Scribe has so much good stuff. I got the chance to hang out and record stuff with Scribe and Nate a few years back and it was one of the most lovely experiences I've ever had. They're such good people and I love them.

I'm so glad you liked the snippet!!!! Timeline wise "so build me a cottage of sunlight and stone" takes place right after "and played like a record on endless repeat", which if you remember ends with a conversation between Dream and XD about escalating Dream's villainy to the next level. Up until this point Dream has been mostly small-scale, harassing farmers and burning down buildings and committing petty thievery. And bothering Technoblade. (mostly bothering Technoblade). Now, though, he's stepping it up, because that's the only way to keep and hold Techno's attention, which Dream desperately needs to do. You're going to get more information on the nature of Dream's bet and why he needs to win it in the next chapter or two of "to a familiar tune we resist"! I'm so so so excited to post that next chapter. I just have to finish writing it.

Just to make it a bit easier if it was hard to follow - timeline is that when Techno was eight, the Blood God possessed him and used him to go on a killing spree and kill like, a whole third of the world. Dream met Technoblade shortly before he was fully possessed, when he was dying in the Creative God's garden (read: graveyard) and Dream saved him. (these are the events of "to a familiar tune we resist"). The Blood God was stopped from continuing the spree by ~interferences yet unknown~ and now, over a decade later, Dream and Technoblade meet again, this time as villain and hero. (these are the events of the first three fics in the series, "all my foundations are laid next to yours", "in part, in whole, in pieces", "and played like a record on endless repeat"). At the point of "so build me a cottage of sunlight and stone" in the timeline, I believe Dream and Technoblade have been facing off for about a year or so? I'm not looking at any of my reference materials at the moment, so I might be wrong, but that's what I remember off the top of my head. Things are going to continue to escalate after this for about another year or so, before the fic and scene that's I've had written for nearly three years occurs. I'm so excited to publish that, when it finally happens. If you have any more "kill me softer" questions, let me at 'em! I'd love to answer them.

HELLO FELLOW MEMBER OF THE ALPHABET MAFIA. HAIL AND WELL MET!

(please continue the conversations through asks, I'm utterly delighted by them lol)

#nana answers asks #all we do anon #hold me softly (kill me softer)

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matthewwaugh · 2 months

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Week 01 - Studio and SDL

For our first studio session we began with understanding and breaking apart the brief. Manipulating images isn't exactly my strong point, so I'm going into this assignment with a few concerns. I'm hoping that I'll be able to figure something out and find a style and approach that I'm happy with.

We began with working on our class-wide image bank. I journeyed around the outskirts of campus and snagged a few shots to add to the image bank.

Above are a selection of the photos I took today. I tried not too get too technical or over the top with these ones, since I'm still trying to find my footing with the brief. Since these photos are potentially destined to be used by other students I wanted to keep them as open as possible - so that they could be reintegrated into a digital setting. These photos are not perfect, but they're a good start.

SDL - Readings and responses

A brief history of photography and the truth of an image.

The article asks a compelling question: What does truth mean? The camera is able to capture something that the eye cannot typically see, does that make photography untruthful? I don't think so. While photography can create for a distorted image, the intent is still the same. The image is made up of reality, regardless of how that reality ends up in the final exposure. Longer shutters may produce blurring that we often don't see with the naked eye, but the photograph is still made up of real movement and objects. An image loses it's truthfulness when we start artificially adding or removing something from the world itself. Altering the 'reality' of the image is what set's true documentary photography apart from spliced edits.

The article also bring up the artistic integrity of photography, and questions what makes photography 'art', a nebulous word that seems practically boundless in definition. To me, art needs to have some sort of intent behind it: what does the artist want to convey with their piece, and how successful or potent is the outcome? Staged photography is a good example of 'typical' art. The framing and composition of a photograph is also its own artform, and a display of skill - much like painting or drawing. It's very easy to blur the lines of what is considered as art, but it's the thought and intent that truly counts. Everything else is how you choose to communicate that.

A manipulated image that I've encountered online is the classic "Tourist Guy". It's one of those viral images that has little info surrounding it, apart from the obvious and shocking scene it depicts. It was shared around, and described as a photograph taken atop of the World Trade Centre, as a plane soars towards the building. The picture was unsurprisingly edited, with the creator splicing in an image of a plane into the backdrop. The image surfaced shortly after September 11th, and periodically pops back up across the internet. It seems to be in a constant cycle of rearing it's head to new viewers, who without knowing better accept the image as reality. It's an interesting phenomenon that is all too often these days, especially with AI generated pictures going viral every other week.

Further Image Bank additions

I made an effort to add more photos to our shared bank, going out and photographing in the city and around my neighbourhood. At the moment I've been interpreting the checklist quite literally, and staying within my comfort zone. After I manage to fill all of the categories i might let loose a bit and try out some more 'interesting' compositions. But for now I'm quite happy with what I've got so far.

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thecornwall · 2 years

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Cornwall’s Random Card of the Day #390: Rugged Highlands

Rugged Highlands is a common from Khans of Tarkir, seen here in its....ugh....Warhammer 40k Commander printing.

So, I don’t like the Universes Beyond stuff. Big surprise, Cornwall doesn’t like something. But really, I like Magic having its own unique IP which can stand on its own, something which got me INTO this game in the first place, in fact. Borrowing IPs from other stuff just kinda seems...I dunno. For one it kinda denigrates the IP of Magic which I mentioned earlier, like, “Oh, wait, kids, you don’t have to use that lame ol’ original stuff, here’s some cards about things you REALLY like!”. I know, it’s just a feeling, nothing defensible in a factual way, but it really does feel this way to me.

Secondarily, one of the great parts of Magic was that it was a Card Game. Like, it existed ONLY to be a card game, not a tie-in to anything else, like almost LITERALLY EVERY OTHER COMPETITOR. And, I don’t think I’m being too controversial to an already-Magic-enfranchised audience here, Magic kinda kicks all those other games’ asses. Cause it focuses on being itself, not just some flash-in-the-pan appeal, not cribbing off the popularity of an actual product, Magic is Magic, through and through. Or, it used to be.

Honestly, this is all kinda part of the whole “Double your profitability. Oh, you did it? Do it again.” mentality which has been weighing this game down for a while, ever since the Hasbro execs realised that Magic was actually their best seller and decided to meddle the fuck out of it. Before then, they were kinda just happy to let Magic do whatever it thought was best for Magic. Which was not always the best thing, but I got the idea they were TRYING.

Back before the MtG site was a joke, they’d put out a bunch of great articles every week, and in them, they would often emphasise that WotC managers wanted this game to be a game to stand the test of time, not just make a quick buck and fizzle out. They joked you’d know things were fucked when they started reprinting Power 9 level cards, which they kinda, sorta, not-quite did. Even the Bank of America (which, terrific abbreviation choice, btw) has realised this shit can’t hold. Even a bunch of greedy, money-grubbing bankers are like “Whoa there, friend, you need to slow down!”.

So the Universes Beyond kinda seems like one of many ways that Magic has sold out its integrity to make more money. And yes, people buy it! That justifies it as a business perhaps, but as an artform? As a game? Cause I don’t have shares in Hasbro and I couldn’t give a shit how much it made beyond “enough to keep the lights on”.

Oh, also I hate crossing over with Warhammer in particular due to the abundance of facist sympathisers in that fandom. But this is a Commander deck so...uhhh....damage contained?

#mtg

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popculturebuffet · 2 years

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Thomas and Friends Season 1 Review: Gorgeous Uniquely British Rail Based Insanity (Comission for lachievpoststhings)

Hello all you happy good engines! I”m Jake I review stuff and today we got another comission and for the first time in a while someone liked my work enough to comission me out of the blue.. and when I say a while I mean in the three years i’ve been doing comissions this is the first to not come from Kev or Emma so i’m pleased as punch it happened.

This one is out of my element as this is both a show meant for preschoolers (something i’ve only covered once thus far for my three cabs retrospective) and a franchise i knew nothing about going in: Thomas the Tank Engine, though Lachiev, the nice guy comissoining this was happy to give me some background info and the rest I dug up was fascenating. Add in the fact the show , which I knew as CGI in the present was STOP MOTION, an artform I always love, and narrated by ringo star, who took time out of personally responding to all his fan mail to work on this show, and I was intrigued enough to agree.

And what I got was a mix of delightful model work.. and a rollercoaster of fairly standard, if often charming, episdoes for a show like this.. and insane ones that involve train crashes, attempted murder and bricking a sentient being inside a tunnel “forever and ever” for being naughty and only letting him out when you’ve succesfully broken his spirit.

Nope! Join me under the cut as we take a vacay to the isle of Sodor to visit some silly little engines.

Background

Thomas the Tank Engine started life as a series of books, the Railway series, by Reverend Wilbert Awdry, which is one of the most delightfully british names i’ve ever heard. He was by all accounts a lovely man and, given the series adherence to how railways really worked despite the trains being sentient beings with faces who when angry can bore deep into my soul making holes that willl never heel, it’s not a big suprise he was huge into trains and railways and in retirment still championed for railway preservation.

And some evidence of this is how the books came about. In 1942, yes the stories are that old, Wilbert and his wife were trying to keep their 2 1/2 year old son christopher intertained as he was laid up with measles. Most of their stories failed to help the child.. but he was drawn to the silly rhymes his dad made up about trains, leading to wilbur telling him more stories and elaborating on the ones he had. His wife thought they were good enough she urged him to publish them and after adding a happier ending to one of their stories because without that sequel the execs were rightfulyl worried it’d send every child who read int into depressive crying fits, more on that story later, it was a huge hit. Chris still enjoyed the stories and wanted a mockup of Gordon, the biggest of the train, but since that was impossible for wilbur he instead made a tank engine the boy crhistned thomas.. and the rest as they way was history. The second book was a huge hit and while Wilbur intended to stop after that he continued for the reasons you’d expect

I can’t blame him: He had a family to think of, he clearly loved trains and judging by this series, which is as far as I can tell as straight as they could adapt them, the quality didn’t remotely dip. He continued this into the 70′s before retiring and the series sat dormant. There were attempts to adapt it.. but the timing just wasn’t right: animation was the only way it could go but by the time it had gotten to being on tv the series had been dead for years.

But then lightning struck when tv exec Britt Alcroft saw a reading of the stories and after reading the books herself, saw gold and bought the rights, workign with the reverened and his now grown son to make the show. Chris had not only shared his dad’s love of engines but of thomas, but had wanted to continue the stories, something his dad happily agreed to. Sadly it woudln’t end great iwth rights issues nad creative diffrences sinking it despite his attempts to continue, but it was succesful enough at the time that many of chris’ stories got adapted alongside his fathers.

The series used models, which were made with a combination of actual train models nad resent, carefully put together and used on real tracks. This lead to the series very unique animation style: it is somewhat limited with only the characters faces moving and when they do move it’s clearly like any other model train, and the human characters are just well carved mintiures. Yet.. it works. The faces are incredibly expressive,w ith diffrent ones built, the model train sets are gorgeous, especailly the snow ones to the point I coudln’t tell it was just powdered sugar for most of the first time they used it, and while the characters are only narrated by Ringo, he does so with enough gusto and whismy it comes off charming. Despite a small budget the series FEELS magical and feels like a story book brought to life, with the limited animation feeding into that, the still bits feeling like the imageso n a page. It’s truly awe inspiring they made something so wholesome and fun to watch with just a few simple tricks and a lot of still images. But that’s all the techincals and stuff, what’s the show like in motion?

Stupid Train Children

Thomas and Friends takes place on the british isle of Sodor, based on the isle of man. The reason for picking an island was simple: it allowed the good reverened to still use UK trains, but have an area where he could world build with. Granted this mostly amounts here to just a diffrent assortment of train lines in the series, but it still shows: Sodor feels like it has a specific geography to it and thus feels more alive.

The show follows Thomas and a number of other sentient trains, to the point thomas is often absent from episodes, as they go about their days and usual fuck up and learn some sort of lesson. Their essentially, as lachiev himself brilliantly called them “Stupid Train Children”, with their dad being the Fat Controller. And that’s not me being an ass , that’ what they really call him. As a fat reviewer, I can sympathize.. but I will also call him that over tottinghat because it amuses me.

The show follows a number of basic setups

1) One of the trains gets full of themselves and in their arrogance fucks up horribly and gets humilated for their hubris.

2) One of the trains gets into a silly situation (rarer) 3) One of the trains is a dick to another train or people and general and gets punished for their hubris, with the train or other object with a horrifying flesh face they mocked getting some form of victory, wether it be saving their ass or just showing their useful.

It’s standard kids show stuff, especially for the time. This was the same time period where we got the get along gang, aka OBEY THE MAJORITY CHILDREN OR GOD WILL PUNISH YOU FOR THINE AROGANCE. Or for my fellow 90′s kids, what the buddy bears was making fun of. But it does avoid the pitfalls of shows like said get along conformist half hour. Which is the rare show I will cricize sight unseen because it’s entire purpose is laughably horrible, so there. Here the problem isn’t conformity or anything: it’s just “be kind, don’t get cocky kid, and hang in there even if people are an ass to you, you’ll shine”. There lessons for everyone and even if i’m about 10 times the age of the target demo, there’s still a charm to it. I can see WHY this series has a massive fanbase to this day: it’s simple, but it works perfectly. And frankly that’s the best way to do a preschool show.

As for characters... while there are a lot of them their really pretty one note outside of thomas, who while hot headed and cheeky is a good sort deep down , cares for his carriages annie and clarabel, and will do the right thing and the Fat Controller who while.. very questionable early on, evolves into a loving father figure, to the point he adopts a train he met on vacation. Otherwise the characters are mostly one note or no notes whatsoever, but given the series both moves fast and the purpose of said characters is more to teach specific lessons or show off diffrent types of trains and sometimes other vehicles, I can let it slide. The show is great for what it is and I look forward to seeing more of it. Now I COULD end the review there but that’d be underselling this show. So instead i’m going to go over the season 1 episodes one at a time like I do for venture bros, though instead of in depth analysis i’m going to give a quick review. Some quicker than others. I’ll also be doing only one entry for stories that are two parter.

Here we go!

Episode Guide

Thomas and Gordon

This story was moved up as given the title, they wanted to spotlight the main character and all. This one has Thomas be a bit cheeky to Gordon, the biggest train on the line and also a massive egotistical prick.... and thunder clashed the second I heard that so clearly gordon heard me so if this review is published posthumously, you’ll know why. Thomas chides Gordon saying he wants to pull trains and stuff and Gordon teaches him a lesson as you would.. by doing the train equilvent of tying him to the bumper of a car and letting him fly in the road like a bob stoolie. I mean Thomas stays attached to the train but the principal is the same and he learns the valuable lesson that gordon is to both be hated and feared. I”m also going to be keeping some counts. Sadly not one for accidnetal inneundos though for the record there’s about 127 this season, so it’d be a bit exausting, but for when Gordon’s an Egotisticla prick, and That Seems A Bit Unresonable for when the punishment outweighs what the train did

Gordon is An Egotistical Prick: 1 That Seems a Bit Unreasonable: 1

Gordon and Edward:

Gordon is a big ole bully boy to a little train named edward who ends up saving his ass. None of this is a shock to anyone

Gordon is an Egotistical Prick: 2

The Sad Story of Henry/Edward Gordon and Henry

And now we’ve come to the big one. While the first story caught me off guard for how insane it was, this one REALLY uped the ante. This one is easily both the most cruel and the most insane at once and is thus infamous. And rightfully so, even if it’s direct sequel helps with the sting a bit the sad story of henry is still PROFUNDLY fucked up and is indeed the story Is aid had to have a sequel just to get published and for good damn reason.

So the SSOH starts simple enough: Henry is a train whose being a small bit of a wanker (and yes I know what that actually means, it was intetional) and refuses to leave his tunnel as to not get wet, refusing to listen to his goddadboss fat controller and attempts to push him fail. So the fat Controller’s response? Take away the track in front of said tunnel and brick him up in there, “For always and always”.

Yes this does happen and in the version I watched those are the exact terms. The US version, naturally changed the narration to that. It also left out the part where the narrator says “I think he deserved it don’t you”

Yeah. And while apparently it’s a sore spot to imply henry never got out, and he does next episode and once again punishes gordon for his hubris.. it dosen’t take away the fact the Fat Contorller’s response to an issue was to imprison a train and only let him out because the experimnce of being trapped for DAYS mentally broke him into obedience. I’m not even being cheeky myself, that’s entirely what happens from context: Henry feels bad and is unsuaully helpful after. I can chock this up to early instalment weirdness and the good reverend having been not used to writing on his end, but how EVERYONE working on the show thought this was okay to translate 1:1 is beyond me.

Gordon Is An Egotistical Prick: 2 That Seems A Bit Unresonable: 101

Thomas’ Train

Thomas gets to pull freight but accidently leaves his cars behind. Gordon isn’t a dick for once and this episode isn’t that intresting. Concidence?

Thomas and the Trucks

This one was the title for the first tape I watched, as Lacheiv had me watch some old VHS Rips, which was charming, including the fact that between segments they just had this weird bit showing off the entire cast... including several characters who don’t debut till the second or last tapes.

Fun fact asides this is a decent one enough: Thomas gets to haul trucks, who decide to shove him around and nearly cause an accident because every sentient being in this franchise has to be an asshole for at least one segment. And yes EVERY car or truck on a train is sentient

Not bad, pretty standard stuff.

Thomas and the Breakdown Train

We meet henry, a shiny new train whose basically, at least for now, thomas but red. Another fairly standard ep, Thomas feels bad about himself, but is able to prove himself by saving henry, but it’s still INCREDIBLY important in the grand scheme of things, as this is where Thomas gets his own train line i.e. going from just pushing things around to carrying passengers and his story begins in earnest.

James and the Coaches/Troublesome Trucks

A two parter, this one spotlights james more and again James comes off a lot like thomas, likely because at this stage which train was which only mattered for the bigger trains. The first has james fuck up again first accidently destroying the fat controller’s hat, then angry over that taking it out on his coaches and thus going super fast, annoying and endgagering his guests.. and then literally brekaing down. This also leads to his condcutor needing a guy’s shoe lace to repair james.. and this guy leads to another count I feel i’m going to need especially for the future: Side Character Idociy Count as the guy REFUSES. For no real reason other than to be obscrutive and obnoxious.. which tracks with real life. Thankfully the res to fthe passngers rage is enough to get him to reconsider lest they tie him to a diffrent set of train tracks and wait for nature to take it’s course.

As a result James is confined to a shed though the resulting story is awesome: James admits he was wrong, gets freed to push trucks and works his ass off despite said trucks not wanting to work with a “big red monster”, succesfully winning back the fat controller’s trust. It honestly got me hooked into it, wanting to see james succeed and this two parter feels like a far better version of the henry story: a train screws up thanks to his own ego and has to work his way back, just without the horrifying tourture.

Seems Unresonable: 102 Side Character Idiocy: 1

James and the Express

One more james story, with James getting mocked by Gordon.. only for the egotistical prick to get lost himself, leading to a great comeback by james.

Gordon is an Egotistical Prick: 3

Thomas and the Guard

Thomas accidently forgets his guard, i.e. the guy looking after the train on the inside. Thomas’ coaches annie and clarabell get flehsed out some more. So.. yeah not a lot in this one. LIke I said some are shorter than other so er.. have this.

Yeah that’ll do.

Thomas Goes Fishing

As you can tell by the image of a bunch of grown men fishing inside a horrified looking train car with danger, keep away signs all around him, this is a weird one. Thomas wants to try going fishing.. and is punished for his.. hubris? Is it even hubris to want to try fishing? I mean he is a sapient being and he could probably hold a fishing pole in there? Like.. the story treats this like some moral failing but... he did nothing but want to fish. And as a result he gets a fish in his tank that his conductor and guard have to fish out and utterly humilated? What?

And it gets even weirder: They EAT the fish, having a meal of fish and chips. Yes really. I’m no fish expert but i’m pretty sure a fish you fished out of a train’s boiler should be endeible at best and stomach imploding at worse.

Seems Unresonable: 103

Thomas, Terrance and the Snow

We meet Terrance, a tractor who Thomas insults because Thomas is also a bit of a prick sometimes, if not as much as Gordon. Thomas also has to have a snowplow installed and looks like he wants to murder everyone, but learns his lesson as not having him leaves him snowbound and gives him a new respect of terrance for saving his ass from his own stupidity and stuborness.

This one’s also notable because like I said the set is REALLY fucking goregous. I don’t know how they covered the set in snow so well, as it’s clearly the same sets they used meaning they either made a double, not an easy feat i’m sure, or had to clean all that up. THey get two stories out of it too, so it’s not like it was for a ton or they coudln’t of just skipped this one to avoid the expense, but they did it anywya nad i’m glad they did. This is easily the best looking the series has been up to this point and will be for the rest of the season. Truly top notch work and a fun time.

Thomas and Bertie

Easily my faviorite of season one and for once not a morality tale or anything. This one just has Thomas form a rivarly with a bus who mocks him, and the two and their drivers agree to a race, which kept my attention the whole time. I figured, correctly, thomas would probably win, but it was still fun to watch each twist and turn as both’s natural disadvantages (thomas’ long refuling, bertie having to take longer routes and stop for traffic, thomas picking up more speed as time went on) made for a nailbiting race and the two becoming friends at the end was adorable.

Tenders and Turntables/Trouble in The Shed/ Percy Runs Away

So this one is just... hilaroius. So gordon, henry, his conditiong having worn off and james go on strike as their pissed smaller trains are doing coach jobs while they have to do some of the pushign cars and stuff work. Like a commmener. The fat controller naturally has none of this and grounds them, and just busy a new train, Percy, to show them their not replaceable. Which would be dickish if he were say doing it due to low wages (do these trains even get paid? is this slavery? how ethical is this operation?.. that that’ sgoing to keep me up to night) and not just being egotistical pricks.

They learn their lesson, and Percy later gets into shenanginas because he was too eager to work and nearly runs into gordon.. who for once shows some humiltiya nd is impressed Percy manages to RUN BACKWARDS AWYA FROM HIM. I am too holy shit percy. As you can tell percy became an instant faviorite of mine. All in all a truly fun and hilarious set of episodes.

Gordon is an egotistical Prick: 4

Coal/The Flying Kipper

Oh you thought the series was DONE torturing poor henry?

Nope! This two parter.. ish... is here to pile more suffering on the poor engine. In the first Henry is sick, with his box just not burning as well these days and spends most of the short either exausted or being mocked or harassed by the other trains for “not working hard enough”, and once again is threatned by the fat controller. .though this time it’s with replacement as since the conditioning from the tourture wore off he deemed it ineffective. IT’s honestly the meanest he’s been since that ep.

That being said he does quickly redeem himself as once he realizes it really is a tehcnical issue, he not only apologizes but when needing expensive welsh coal to fix it, he gladly foots the bill. Granted it’s because it’s more practical than getting a replacement train but still, compared to the guy who at the start of the season walled him up forever as a punishment for “can’t make me don’t wanna” it’s progress.

The second part is mostly unrelated but does solve the welsh coal thing: Henry goes on a winter run to deliver the flying kipper, the island’s fish truck... but dosne’t get signaled about danger ahead because the signal’s frozen over. So he HORIFICALLY CRASHES because god regretted the day he made henry and aims to correct his mistake. That said while I assumed there’d be more abuse heaped on the poor engine, instead the Fat Controller shows how much he’s grown again by understanding and having henry rebuilt with a new frame and a better engine. It really makes The Sad Tale of Henry episode more baffling as the character is hardly recognizable by this point in the stories, so why’d they keep him so cruel for that one?

Whistles and Sneezes

What a suprise, Gordon is an egotistical prick, this time getting on henry for whistling now he gets to pull the express. Gordon, like god apparently hates it when Henry has any joy in his life. So are the local kids who break Henry’s windows when he whistles at them, but he gets back at them by sneezing on them, covering them in soot and causing them to die of colera as they brought on themselves. Also Gordon gets his compuance when his own whistle breaks.

Gordon is an Egotistical Prick: 5

Toby and the Stout Gentleman/Thomas in Trouble

This is a nice one where, while a two part story, you don’t get how their connected till halfway through.

The first half spotlights toby and his carriage henrietta (she has no face.. yet but apparently their a couple later. That’s lovely), an outdated train whose sadly being put out of work as the line he’s on in essex no longer needs him. Thankfully he finds a new dad in the form of the Fat Controller whose on vacatoin as the Stout Tentleman and admires toby’s gentle nature and work ethic and since he can always use more stupid train children, he plans to buy him.

And just in time too since Thomas runs afoul of the police. The old kind officer on one of thomas’ routes is replaced with your typical police officer: i.e. a regulation and violation loving asshole woh penalizes thomas for minor things like not having a cowcatcher, even though they’ve never seen any cattle on the route.

Thankfully toby meets the requirements and blows his whistle at the prick so justice is had and Toby gets a new home. All in all a really lovely story. Toby is really likeable even if the non round faces on vehicles creep me th efuck out, he’s the exceptoin. He’s just so sweet and it’s so nice of the fat controller to basically adopt hima nd his wife. Just wholesome and heartwarming all around.

Dirty Objects

James mocks god’s faviorite son Toby for his apperance and is judged by getting covered in muck and humilaited.

Off the Rails

Gordon is an egotistical prick.. again

First teasing James who you THINK would deserve some teasing given how he acted last ep... and yo’ud be wrong as gordon does so whiile saying nothing bad EVER happens to him... with James pointing out his own stupid mishaps to no avail. Then Gordon takes it up another notch by being a picky dickhead , refusing to pull special trucks because i’ts “beneath him”.. and getting stuck in a bog as a result. The fat controller leaves him there to be laughed at till evening as he brought it on himself. I laugh, You laugh, we all laugh. As we should.

Down the Mine

The last vhs title. This time Thomas mocks gordon as he should then gets stuck in a mine due to his own stupidity. This sure was an episode that happened.

Thomas’ Christmas Party

This one is just sweet and a high note to end on. It’s christmas time and Thomas and co are feeling the spirit, and Thomas wants to invite Miss Kyndly to a christmas party. If you don’t remember her don’t be blue, this is her first apperance. And I checked the incident where she helped thomas mentoined hadn’t happened. But she helped him so when she gets snowed in the trains and co all pull together to get her to christmas. It’s a simple, heartwarming christmas tale and seeing the set decked out for chrismtas, as wlel as the image above with all the trains in little santa hats really warms my heart. I may look this one up next christmas, a true treat .

So that finishes season 1. Will I be back for season 2?

Lachiev has already told me be plans to do it in a few months and frankly this was fun. It was good modelwork combined with easily mockable insanity. Just the perfect mix for the work I do. So i’ll see you next time you silly little engines and if you like you can join my patreon bellow and follow me for more content. See ya real soon

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#thomas the tank engine #thomas and friends #thomas the tank engine henry #ringo starr #british television #the fat controller #sir topham hat #animatoin #stop motion animation #scott the woz noise

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thewhiteroseofvermilion · 3 years

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Moving Forward

Hello everyone. It’s been a long time since I’ve last spoken to you all, and an even longer time since I’ve last updated this story. Over the months and years, my absence has saddened, frustrated, and even angered many of you. Despite my own valid feelings of how—to put it bluntly—I don’t owe any of you anything as this is something I do for free and in my own free time, I still recognize how it must feel for you all to see something you enjoy so much slowly lose momentum and eventually grind to a halt. Furthermore, my habit of making enthusiastic yet empty statements in between didn’t help either.

As such, a proper and honest explanation is due, as anything less would be unkind. This will be lengthy, but please bear with me.

For the past four years, it’s been increasingly difficult to find the time, energy, and motivation for me to properly sit down and write. Seemingly gone are the early days of this story’s life when I was able to publish a new chapter every month or so, or even every two weeks when I was at the top of my game in terms of activeness. Even though I had an immense workload due to being a double major in college, leading me to adopt the best work ethic I’ve ever had, I still led a sheltered lifestyle where I didn’t have to worry about the many looming, inevitable adult responsibilities that were ahead of me.

Those tranquil years of course came to an end when I graduated, and I soon felt immense pressure to shift my attention to finding work, living independently, and working on things that would further my career. While I received support as an aspiring writer from the majority of my family, those being my mother and sister, the both of them commented more frequently as time passed by that my “fanfiction” wasn’t something that I should be spending so much time on anymore. After all, it’s not like I could sell the work as my own, and the fact that despite fanfiction absolutely being a valid artform, it wasn’t something that the world of professional employers cared about.

Nonetheless, when I did eventually find work as a film freelancer, I still tried to persevere and write on the side. My goal back then was to work in film in order to sustain my pursuit in writing. Film was something I went to school for, greatly enjoyed, and even saw a possible future career for myself in, but it was the writing aspect of it that I was truly after, that being primarily screenwriting.

After two years of living at home, I felt the need to try and live independently as I outgrew my tiny room and my mom started dating a man that I didn’t particularly like. I knew it wasn’t financially smart of me to do so when my mom allowed me to live with her rent-free. But at the time I thought that it would help me to become more mature and productive, as I would have to force myself to work in order to put a roof over my head and food on the table—as opposed to living a sheltered life at home where everything was taken care of for me. Essentially, I was longing for the lifestyle I had in college, thinking that once I returned to it, I would be able to reacquire that once incredible work ethic I had.

So, I became roommates with a friend from college and together we rented a townhouse together. Rent wasn’t terribly expensive, but it wasn’t cheap either. Regardless, I was able to make ends meet. My greatest challenge however, was to live up to my family’s spoken and unspoken expectations. On one hand, my mother was sweet and understanding, naturally giving me her full support. My father, on the other, always thought that it’d be better for me to pursue something safer and more lucrative, and to not risk being a starving artist. But the one I had to prove myself the most to was my older sister, who was wildly more successful than I was—financially and professionally. My pay compared to hers was like a drop in a bucket, and I felt both indirect and direct pressure from her to be more “professional” like her. Therefore, I threw myself into my work, which is when things slowly began to go downhill.

As a film freelancer, my work hours usually averaged between 10-12 hours a day, and with my work taking me all over my home state of Maryland and even into neighboring Washington DC and Virginia, my commute time to and from work ranged anywhere from an additional 1-3 hours. It became incredibly common for me to wake up for work anywhere between 3-6 AM and not get home until 8-10 PM.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, I slowly slipped into a routine where when I did have the “time” to write, I had zero energy or motivation as my work was so taxing. I reached the point where I had to drink two energy drinks with 300mg of caffeine to get myself to and from work. I saw less and less of my roommate and friends. I spent an alarming amount of money and gained weight from ordering take-out so often because I hadn’t the energy to cook for myself when I got home late from work. There would even be days when I fell into what felt like comas, sleeping up to two days straight at one point. My physical, mental, and emotional health was in serious decline. And yet I didn’t see it that way, as I had become obsessed with trying to prove to my family, my sister in particular, that I wasn’t a failure and that my pursuit of writing wasn’t a hopeless one.

During the first month of COVID-19′s outbreak last year, I finally had a much-needed vacation. This was undoubtedly the best time for me to have returned to writing—but I didn’t. At this point, so much time had passed since my last proper writing session that the few times I did try to write, I found myself completely unable to write anything. I was so out of practice and so out of touch with what I had written. This honestly frightened me, and I soon began to doubt if I could ever be able continue the story with the same quality that so many readers fell in love with. Regrettably, I fled from this revelation long enough for a full month to pass by, and I soon found myself busy with yet another distraction: unemployment.

I was out of work for about 4.5 months, from the middle of March to the beginning of August. During this time, I had to rely on state unemployment, which earned me great scorn from my older sister. Our relationship had always been uneven since we were kids, but it was becoming increasingly toxic as of late since our college years. I felt so ashamed to tell her how much money I made in a year from my job as a film freelancer, and how I barely managed to move to a better position after four years of work. Riddled with guilt and disappointment in myself, when work became readily available again in August, I frantically threw myself back in harder than ever before. In the past where I had turned down the occasional job to give myself some time to relax or in order to make it to a social outing with friends, I now accepted every job thrown my way, only declining those that would make me double-book myself. I earned a lot of money during those months as a result, and I was so happy to finally distance myself from the stigma of being “unemployed.” However, I once again failed to see that I was yet again sliding back into the lifestyle that had been slowly poisoning me for the past two years.

After essentially working non-stop from August to March, my body, mind, and soul soon returned right back to the brink of collapse. It wasn’t until then at my lowest point when I finally realized how I initially went from working to sustain myself in order to write, to not writing at all and only working to sustain myself to work even more. It was truly scary to see myself fall victim to a brutal cycle of unfulfilling work that could have trapped me for years to come if I hadn’t broken free first. That’s when I realized that my lifestyle was personally unsustainable, and that something had to change.

Henceforth, I’ve made the difficult decisions to both transition out of film freelancing and to soon return home to live with my father. At the end of April, the homeowner of the townhouse my roommate and I had been living in for close to three years gave us our 30-days-notice to vacate, as they no longer wished to rent but to sell the property. As my roommate had been planning on finding a place of his own with his girlfriend for quite some time, we split amicably at the end of last month in May and I’ve since moved into a temporary apartment with a friend who has traveled back to Maryland for seasonal work.

Regarding the change in my career, I’ve been looking into applying for writing positions for something that I’ve grown to enjoy over the past few years, which is to write reviews for media such as film, anime, and videogames. This of course is not what I truly want to do in life, but I think that because it actually involves writing, it would be both good practice in terms of practicing my writing and experience in terms of resume-building. Furthermore, a stable “9-5″ job as such would be good for me, I think, as it would introduce some desperately needed structure back into my life. Being a freelancer was definitely fun as I had the power to choose my own schedule, but it unfortunately fostered a lot of laziness and procrastination when I wasn’t completely burnt out.

I’ve shared with you all this information, a great deal of it being very personal, in the hopes that it helps you better understand who I am as a person and what I’ve been going through these past four years.

I understand that my word may be difficult to trust due to my history, but I sincerely wish to let you all know from the bottom of my heart that I do plan on continuing writing The White Rose of Vermilion until it’s completed. My fears and insecurities may have alienated me from that promise, but not once did I ever entertain the idea of fully dropping the story. And I promise you, I never will. It most likely will not further my career in any way, bring any revenue in, and will continue to consume a great deal of my precious free time—yet I still choose to pursue continuing it because I can’t see a future where I don’t finish it.

It is after all my most cherished project; the reason that I was able to truly find my calling as an aspiring writer, its success also ultimately being the proof to my mother that I had some skill as a budding writer, who then gave me her full blessings to pursue it as a career. But most important of all is that it’s the reason why I was able to experience first-hand one of the most important and beautiful discoveries in my entire life. That being the incredible phenomenon of how art is like a beacon—its bright light is powerful enough to reach out and inspire others to create art of their own. From Monty Oum to Nancy Phetchareune to myself, I was blessed enough to see readers create wonderful fanart to show me or tell me in a review that reading my story had inspired them to create something of their own.

I am officially leaving behind my prolonged hiatus and returning to working on The White Rose of Vermilion. While I am extremely hesitant to even estimate when the next chapter will be published, please know that I am genuinely trying to leave behind my habits of old and returning to a more consistent schedule.

The White Rose of Vermilion will return in:

Arc II, Chapter Twenty-Seven: Stranger in the Night

#TWRoV #The White Rose of Vermilion

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fenristheorem · 3 years

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Lance finding out that Gardienne killed herself? After a while of her being in the HQ again, he has fallen in love with her. She just couldn't bear those seven years, having lost that many people and being here just to save this world by suffering.

He wanted to tell her he loved her, he knocked her door, he worried bc no one answered, and he finds her hanged up.

I know this is really specific, it's just kind of my OC ending😅😅 anyway, I'd understand if you weren't comfortable with this.

So I’m going to talk about the boundaries of what I write for a moment, starting by saying that I will write this BUT I won’t write detailed suicide scenes due to the sensitive nature of it.

This ask isn’t asking for a detailed scene, it’s asking for the effects the decision has on Lance, and because it’s asking for the long-term effects and not a scenario I’m just fine with writing this.

Thank you for asking this, Anon, genuinely. Being this specific was probably what gave me the push to write this in the end because I know you were looking for the reaction and not the actual scene. This is a good example of a post that walks along the lines of what I will and won’t write so anyone requesting future asks with a similar subject gets a better idea of what to ask.

Also, I apologize for how long this took to write. This ask was, unfortunately, the one that spent the most time eaten in my drafts folder so I couldn’t work on it until about a week ago. Fortunately that gave me a lot of time to think over how to best write this, so I think this’ll be appropriately written considering the subject.

*Warning / Note: This post contains heavy depressive themes and suicidal mentions, as evident by the ask and what I wrote above. I’m aware that this is a very sensitive subject and I intend to treat it with appropriate seriousness. This is not a happy post, please only read this if you know this won’t lead you down a dark path. To me, writing is another form of art, meant to express and draw out emotions from the audience, so I won’t subside the intensity of my writing even with this being a sensitive subject. I don’t intend to drive anyone to harm themselves, but I do intend to write with the intensity that I always do because this is my artform; so please prepare for heavy themes or don’t read if you’re not comfortable with this. On a side note: I care about everyone, I really do, so please take care of yourselves. If you’re feeling depressive or suicidal, talk to someone, please. There is always someone who cares about you.

Technically Guardienne's death may have a major adverse effect on Eldarya due to her link with the crystal, but for the sake of this ask I'll ignore any possible effects like that.

~Under the cut~

Lance’s reaction to Guardienne’s suicide:

Lance had seen a lot of terrible things in life and had done many terrible things in his life, but this reached a new type of fucked up for him. Not because it's truly disturbing - although it is deeply disturbing - but because it fucked him up even more in a way that he neither thought could be possible nor that he could bear.

He’s convinced that he’s cursed; everything that’s happened to him has been his fault. He started the war within Eldarya, destroyed so many faeries’ lives, killed his own brother, and now the woman he loved is dead because of him as well. Sure, he wasn’t the one to tie the rope around her neck, but there are signs for these sorts of things. Was he truly that blind that he couldn’t see that she was in pain? Did he ever truly love her if he couldn’t see the pain? Would she have done anything differently if he wasn’t there to constantly remind her of everything that was lost?

Lance believes he deserves this. He’s caused so much pain and agony for everyone, it only makes sense that he should be the one in pain now. Lance won’t try to fight the agony he’s in, he’ll let himself drown in it for nights on end to wake up - or not even sleep to begin with - feeling exhausted, reckless, irritated and - overall - worthless. He’s sure to emerge from his room in the morning without the slightest hint that he’s been sobbing quietly with the feeling of a dagger twisting itself over and over within his chest all night, and he’ll refuse to answer any questions about if he’s alright after the recent events. He was the one to find her after all; it would make sense that he was hit the hardest...

In the daytime he’ll be rough and withholding, keeping the Obsidian guard in a tight hold to reflect how he needs to hold himself tightly to keep from falling apart. It’s one thing for him feel and express emotions, but this feeling is an entirely different thing; this is something that should not be released into Eldarya. He realizes it and knows that this feeling - something that he recognizes all too well from his past - threatens to destroy everything that he worked so hard to gain in the past seven years.

Mathieu will notice Lance’s change in temperament immediately, and being the kind man he is he’ll want to be there for the dragon, but Lance won’t be looking for comfort; he’ll be looking for something that will change the past and take back everything that happened. But that’s impossible - he knows that - and so he’ll be stuck in a state of limbo, deemed to mourn for his unknown, unrealized love until... something happens to change him.

Ice cold fear will wash over him some days as he recognizes the familiar feeling that haunted him in the past, and while he’ll be aching to reach out to lean on someone for support - afraid of this feeling overwhelming him again - he’ll feel that he can’t lean on anyone. He doesn’t deserve that support at this point after all he’s done, and there’s so many others who are busy grieving; the guard needs him to be strong now. However, on occasion - when he has a clear mind - he’ll grieve gently with someone who’s somewhat close to him, sharing kind memories of Guardienne and gently advising them to spend time around friends if his co-worker feels it’s needed. He’ll never completely break in front of anyone though, he can’t bring himself to.

However, Lance falls apart immediately when he’s alone, sometimes even lingering in the conference room for a few minutes after a meeting to allow himself the private time alone to recollect himself. Grief will randomly hit him throughout the day, constricting his throat, burning his chest, and glassing over his eyes - and every time he’ll excuse himself from his company to isolate himself until he regains control again. This, of course, is taken into notice by a few others around the guard, and slowly there’ll be people who realize that Lance is not fine.

This becomes a further issue over time as his grief slowly turns into anger and disgust, and this is when that familiar, ominous feeling from his past really rears it’s ugly face. He should have seen something. Was he really that terrible to her that she felt she couldn’t trust him? Was everyone really that blind to not see her hurting?

Lance finds that he begins to choose to isolate himself, mentally and physically. He’ll leave the guards members alone that have stated they need time off, but he won’t be very forgiving with those who have chosen to continue their work but seem to be slacking. His mentality is that if you can’t handle continuing on, then don’t offer your service as it’ll become a hindrance, and this quickly becomes a major issue.

Huang Hua - knowing how important Guardienne was to Eldarya, and the guard especially - has let it be known that if anyone needs a break from their responsibilities, then it’ll be allowed, but she will stress that those who feel they can continue to function please try to do so, and be lenient and take on a few responsibilities that aren’t usually asked of them if they feel they can. She can read other’s auras and sense intentions and emotions of sorts, so she can generally get a good read on how someone is doing, but she can’t consistently do that with everyone, so while she’ll use this ability when necessary to enforce that someone take a break so they don’t fall apart, not every unstable case is known to her. This is the main reason why she slightly overlooks Lance for a while. When he first found Guardienne, he panicked immediately, rushing her to Ewelein and not even truly believing her death until many days after the event. Huang Hua - having sensed his shock and panic blocking out any other emotions - let it go for a few days; everyone goes through their own grieving process, some immediately and some not until many years afterwards. There was nothing that anyone could do for him until Guardienne’s death hit him fully. However, she also knew from her abilities that Lance was in love with her, or at very least had a deep liking for Guardienne, so the instant a few members of the guard come to her expressing serious concerns regarding Lance’s recent aggression and distance, Huang Hua knows immediately that it needs to be dealt with. This grief was an unknown factor in Lance’s new life - but his past with this type of grief shows clearly that this can really fuck him up - so it needed to be discussed, otherwise he risks spiraling back into the same place he was seven years ago.

She’ll approach him when he’s alone, or if they’re in a relatively public space she’ll take him somewhere private, sensing all the while the breathtakingly painful feeling of agony, anger and distress that’s clouding his mentality. It was just the same as when he was Ashkore, how did he not yet break? He’ll refuse to follow her if he knows she wants to talk about his emotions - ironic since he’s always been open to sharing his perspective and thoughts - so she’ll just tell him that she needs to talk to him in private regarding a few anonymous tips from some guards members if he happens to ask why.

Being alone with an unstable, emotionally distraught dragon with a history of violence while under heavy states of grief does unsettle her a bit, but she knows the outcome of this will be much worse if he truly feels isolated. He’s not going to reach out for help by himself - he doesn’t know how to, nor does he probably want to - so she needs to be the one to reach out to him and help him stabilize himself before another situation like Valkyon’s death occurrs.

She’ll consider first talking alone with him in his room - where he’d likely feel most comfortable - but considering he’d likely be defensive, that could then translate into aggression in his own territory, and that may lead her to being forced out of his room for her own safety. Lance has certainly changed in temperament, but heavy grieving emotions can blind someone, so there’s really no promising that nothing... destructive may happen, no matter how much he’s changed in patience.

She then considers talking with him in the conference room, but there isn’t a whole lot of privacy there. The conference room is more for business, rather than personal, private, emotional conversations. The last thing Lance needed in this moment was for his emotions to be treated even slightly like a business confrontation and not as an important part of his being. Frankly, even on a day where he’s feeling just fine he would never accept anyone’s emotions to be treated like a business issue, so the last thing she wanted was to imply that by bringing him into a room that could do just that.

Huang Hua then thinks over the idea of talking to him in her room; it would likely be safer, after all. He probably won’t become territorial or aggressive as it’s not his territory, and it’ll be a gentle reminder that she’s happy to welcome him into her personal life to help comfort him (therefore defeating the concern that it could seem like a business confrontation), but since it’s her territory he might emotionally shut himself down. It can be uncomfortable to fall apart in someone else’s room, especially knowing they’re higher ranking and could be interrupted at any moment to deal with something else...

Then she wonders if she should bring him outside of the guard to speak with him - somewhere that’s private and on neutral ground. That way they’d both be in strange territory and may not be interrupted, and if they are they’d receive prior warning by noticing that someone was walking their way.

Of course, Huang Hua then realizes that - no matter how much she’d like to think that she understands what would make Lance most comfortable - she truly doesn’t know what would help him best, but she can be there to provide support at very least, regardless of where they are. At the end of the day, Lance would probably know where he’d feel most comfortable, so when she approaches him to talk, saying that it’s an important but private conversation, she’ll ask him where he would rather talk. He’ll be slightly hostile, especially when he picks up on the fact that she’s going out of her way to word things carefully and prioritize his comfort, but he’ll decide to talk somewhere private outside the guard, where no one is around.

And that’s how Huang Hua finds herself in the middle of the open plains, far away from the guard to talk to a dragon who might as well be stabbing himself with his own dagger with how he’s been allowing himself to feel as of late. She’ll start off gently, telling him the recent concerns of a few anonymous guard’s members and Lance will stand a few feet away and listen coldly with a blank expression until she suggests that he take a few days off. He’ll debate things with her then, and it’ll escalate slowly until Lance is clearly distressed but still unmoving in his decision to remain active, and Huang Hua will know then that she can’t be gentle anymore...

“Lance, take a few days off, for your sake.”

“No.” His tone is harsh and cold as he snaps at her. “The guard needs me, there’s so much I need to do - so much I need to repay-” He didn’t mean to let that last statement slip - after all, his actions certainly couldn’t be made up for, right? - but emotions can be a powerful thing, can’t they?

“You won’t be able to do any of that if you’re destroying everything you’ve helped rebuild in the process.” Lance is pacing, keeping his eyes trained to the ground. Huang Hua - despite her anxiousness at the dragon being so stubborn on decisions made under heavy negative emotions - tries to keep a comforting, open atmosphere to avoid furthering any issues. “You know the pain you’ve cast upon on others, you’ve felt that same sort of pain now and you need to take time to be able to recover from that.”

“I can’t take time, it’s not something I can just accept! Everyone I’ve hurt before never had time to accept the situation before I made it worse, but they still pushed forward! There’s no reason for me to have it any easier!”

“And where would we be if we treated you the same way you used to treat the world? Would we be any better than how you used to be?”

Lance stops pacing but his eyes remain on the ground, his throat constricting as his thoughts run rampant. Would they be the same as how he used to be if they allowed him to keep running himself this way? He’s done terrible things, but he’s spent many years trying to keep that from happening again. Certainly he’s an asset to the guard now, so would it be cruel of them to ignore his distress? Or would it be justified payback for everything he’s done?

“Lance, you’ve done wonderful things the past seven years, and we want you to continue that and I know you want to continue that as well. Take some time off so you can do that without destroying yourself or your environment. Don’t ignore your pain like it’s nothing - it’s not nothing, and you have the resources to deal with it in a better way now. Use those resources, Lance, it’ll help you work your way through this.” Huang Hua’s tone is gentle and soft as she pleads with him, hoping that her blunt words will reach his common sense.

He tries to argue this, stuttering the beginning of sentences to try and disprove her point, grasping for any reason as to why his pain is invalid. However, Lance finds that there’s no sound argument against Huang Hua’s words, and constricting panic, horror, and then heavy tides of grief will hit him as he realizes that he is, in fact, dragging himself into his own downfall. He is his own worst enemy, once again.

In any manner, this is all his fault - his past actions, Guardienne’s distress of what’s changed that lead to her death, his emotional isolation, and disruption of the guard is all because he doesn’t know how to deal with himself and his abyss of emotions. How did this happen to him? He was never the type of person to deny and hide away his emotions, so how is it he ended up caging himself like this when under personal grief? Is it because the situation is so personal to him that he has a hard time allowing himself to seek comfort in others who likely couldn’t understand?

Lance will fall apart at this, closing his eyes and turning towards the ground to keep himself together, but falling apart all the same as grief overwhelms him one final time in a push that throws him over the edge. He’ll clench his fist and bow his head, bringing it over his mouth as he desperately tries to steady his breathing, to no avail as tears find their way from his eyes and his chest heaves in quieted sobs.

Huang Hua will lurch forward to comfort him, but stops as Lance whirls around to step back and snap at her - he didn’t want comfort, he wanted her back!

“Where were you for her!? Why didn’t anyone else see her pain!?” His eyes are tragedy and desperation underneath the weakened cold anger of ice blue, a faint few tears streaking down his face as his voice - thunderous and howling - cracks and breaks alongside his crumbling rage. If he couldn’t have fixed this, then someone else could have - why didn’t anyone fix this!?

“You know it’s not morally correct to monitor everyone’s private emotions all the time. What kind of leader would I be if I didn’t allow my people their privacy?” Huang Hua stills and clasps her hands together at her waist, understanding Lance’s outward anger. However, she realized his statement signaled something else as well; Lance could no longer fight why he should allow himself to grieve, so he was desperately clinging onto some semblance of needing to be distant by turning it to be someone’s fault - someone that he could hate. “You are right in a way; of the many people who knew her, someone might have been able to catch how torn up she felt, but people who wish to hide their pain, or spend so long hiding their pain that it becomes a part of who they are, learn how to hide their pain in ways too complex for others to realize. And, Lance, if she didn’t want anyone to know about her grief, there wouldn’t have been much that I could have done anyways.”

“You could have helped her!” The dragon’s voice was weakening as he spoke, distant anger being replaced by a cold, hollow emptiness as he realized the truth in Huang Hua’s words.

“Only if she was ready for that help. You can’t force someone to accept help, you can only wait for them to allow themselves to be helped.”

“She wouldn’t want me to find relief during this time...” He looked away toward the ground and hung his head, blinking rapidly as he began to heave for breath. There must be a reason why he shouldn’t be allowed to feel this way .

“Do you think she would have wanted everything good you did - whether she knows what you did or not - to be destroyed because of your grief for her?” Lance’s eyes squinted closed and he tilted his head a bit further away from the phoenix. It seemed as though every reminder of everything good he’s done continues to leave him with a hollow chest. “I think if she witnessed firsthand everything you’ve done the past seven years she would have thought very differently about you now than what she did when first having woken up from the crystal.”

Lance turns to face his back towards her, resting a palm on his forehead before brushing his fingers back through his hair as a tremble rolls through him. He could feel pressure rising from his throat as he bared his teeth in an agonized snarl before parting his mouth to silently gasp for air. His head tilted back to look at the sky, only for a few tears to fall from his eyes when he releases a shaky breath.

“Lance, your situation with her was very unique - no one else could begin to understand exactly what you’re feeling from your history with her. Take some time so you can understand it - and fix, or do, or feel whatever you need to - so you can carry forward knowing yourself better.”

He wanted to fight her statement, but his moral compass argued with his resistance on this as well. If anything, of whatever terrible things came as a result of her death, there should be some good sought from it as well. What’s the point of accepting a tragedy if not to learn something from it as well, even if it’s something quiet that no one else knows you learned?

For the first time in a long while - if not ever - Lance allows himself to break and be comforted. He lets himself embrace the burning, stinging pain that rises in his chest as he turns his head back to the ground and collapses on his knees. Huang Hua immediately reacts and is by his side in moments, on her knees and laying a gentle hand on his shoulder as she leans against him slightly. Sobs escape his throat as his body tenses and curls forward slightly, bracing a hand on the ground to steady himself as tremulous waves of emotions - any and all emotions that could possibly be named - wash over him and leave him gasping for air.

“I miss her, too.” Huang Hua’s voice shakes now as she leans further against the dragon, bringing her arms as far around him as she can while her head rests against his shoulder, away from the spines on his pauldrons. Lance brings his other hand up and tightly grasps the forearm reaching across his chest.

Huang Hua had spent so much time trying to help others through this that she had completely forgotten to make sure she was alright as well, and seeing Lance - the man she least expected to be torn apart by this situation - completely break and fall apart before her eyes reminded her of the true depth of their loss. They didn’t just lose Eldarya’s savior, they had lost a friend, a great warrior, one of the last angels, someone who was pure at heart and wasn’t afraid to face the darkness of life without so much as a blink of hesitation. They had lost someone who gave everything for the world, and suffered because of it.

Minutes merged until they were unsure of how long they spent in the fields, but in time both of them calmed down. Lance - now able to think clearer on the subject - began to reflect on the situation.

“This wasn’t her fault... the blame is on all of us, for not having seen anything... but she must have known that someone would have been there for her if they knew how much she was hurting...” He murmured this quietly, waves of shame washing over him again as he realized he was perhaps pinning some of the blame on Guardienne. Was there really anyone to blame here? She must have known that someone would have been there for her if she sought help, but it’s not right for others to pry into the personal life of another if the intrusion is unwelcomed, and who was to say she wanted help in the first place? Had she given up? Would anyone have been able to stop her to begin with? Who was to blame, if there was anyone?

“There’s nothing we can do now except honor her and move forward.” Huang Hua whispered back with a shaky voice and Lance faintly nodded his head. There were many things that worked together to lead to this happening, and in between there also were moments where something could have helped deter it, both by her doing and by others. At the root core, everyone and anyone could have helped stop this in some way, even if it was by giving her a small passing smile that could have helped remind her that there is good and hope in the world, but there’s also no guarantee that anyone could have stopped it. Regardless, this is how things happened. They can’t change the past, but they can move forward with her in mind and learn from this.

Lance - despite his heavy grief and complex emotions on everything - begins to soften himself to the situation. He’s not the only one grieving. His situation may have been the most complicated, but he’s still in the same boat as everyone else. He doesn’t feel the need to sob alongside the others anymore, but he does find that whenever the group he’s in begins to fall apart into wailing, he’ll bow his head and won’t hide the obvious pain that he’s in at the reminder of his lost love. His feelings for Guardienne will be kept quiet, and he won’t openly say how he felt about her - it could still be seen as wrong in the opinion of some people for him to have fallen in love with the same woman he hurt so much, especially knowing her pain is what led to her death - but he won’t deny the truth of his feelings to those who caught on somehow. Lance will find that he’ll slowly begin to mend after this death, many months after of course, but it’ll happen, and in some ways this will help him move past his brother’s death as well. After all, in the end both Guardienne and Valkyon came to accept their final moments in life before allowing Lance’s past actions to bring about their end, and although one chose to die to help mend him and the other chose to die to help relieve herself, the root issue of the situation that led to their death was still very similar. He’ll have a hard time allowing himself to move past the fact that his actions played a major part in both deaths, but he realizes in time that that’s what happens when someone has a violent past. It’ll haunt for many years, and the effects of it can never be reversed, but in the end this only inspires him to work harder to provide a better world. Maybe he can’t erase what he did, but he can make sure it doesn’t happen again and work to provide Eldarya with as much good as he can provide now.

Without a doubt Guardienne’s death hits him hard, but he’ll be sure to come back twice as strong from this.

I hope you like this, Anon! I feel Guardienne’s suicide would definitely hit Lance hard and remind him subtly of Valkyon’s death, but I don’t see Lance being held down by this for too long. He’d heavily grieve for her for a good while before he eventually finds himself standing on two feet again and powering his way through life, if not for his own sake then for the sake of others, both alive and dead.

Have a request? Ask them here!

But first, please read the rules list for asks!

#Eldarya ANE #eldarya lance #fenristheorem writing #askfenris

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fipindustries · 3 years

Text

three bittersweet feelings for which i dont have words

helping my mom

the other day i was visiting my mom and i had to go buy groceries, she decided to come with me to do much of the same, we both bought our separate stuff but when we get to the cashier she realises she forgot her credit card home, so i saw her there, in front of the cashier, getting incresingly desperate while looking through her wallet and then i stepped in and payed for both of our things.

the crazy thing was that it wasnt even that big of an expense for me and it was a lot of stuff, but as far as my finances go today i was able to perfectly accomodate it without worrying too much.

it was strange because usually i am the one who has to be bailed out of money problems, to be able to be there for someone else was... nice.

i remember like ten years ago being in a similar situation with my dad and he refusing adamantly, to the point of getting angry with me for trying to do the same.

yearning to share

i like the food that i cook. and by all accounts most people i know like my food too and while sometimes i might find cooking tedious or time intensive i do take pride in doing it and doing it well. i treat it much like any other artform or craft i practisce, like a talent i cultivated through the years, with tricks and techniques ive incorporated and something that i can show to others so they can appreciate it and, thus, appreciate me.

now, generally one of the biggest perks of living by myself is that i can cook my favourite foods whenever i want, in the amounts that i want, so that i can eat as much as id like, just the way i like it.

but today i found myself setting the table and looking at the giant pot of spagetti that i had made and... feeling lonely. i felt an acute need to share that food with someone, to feed and take care and cheer people who might feel lonely and hungry with the warm zesty meal that i cooked. it was a feeling very similar to that of going to bed alone for the first time after breaking out with someone, of reaching out across the bed and finding the sheets empty.

so much food and noone to eat it with, noone but me to enjoy it, noone but myself to feed.

happy to be overwhelmed

i have a lot on my plate right now.

i’ve been getting calls from the company i was training at and in a couple of weeks i might start working there which means i will finally have a stable job but also that from that point forward my life is going to change drastically for a really long time. on top of that i’ve been taking care of my uncle’s house but his boyfriend is coming back from abroad in a few days to stay here which means im going back with my mom BUT my uncle is happy to let me live at another of his apartments and i only have to cover the taxes but this might signify the first step in me actually getting my own place and moving out of my mom’s house for good which is really scary (i know, what an amazing problem to have).

on top of that im being comissioned six drawings which will be taking quite a long time to make, time that im not 100% sure i have. ALSO i was hired to direct an animated short, which means im having meetings and coordinating with the producer, the assistant director and the animation team making sure that the boat sails smoothly

ALSO ALSO, im still working on my own personal project, jennyffer, episode 4 and five, for which i have to coordinate with multiple people because i want to have voice acting in these shorts and they are a bit more ambitious than the last ones i’ve been making.

in the past any single one of these things on their own would have been enough to keep me crawling up the walls, hyperventilating, shutting down and refusing to function, and yet today i am tackling all of this which penache, resolution, comfidence and aplomb. im energized, invigorated, motivated. i have direction

to the day it has been literally a year that i was trapped in my ex’s apartment, crawling on the floor, having literally daily panic attacks, convinced every hour that i was about to die and desperate to find a way out. i was a wreck in body, heart and mind

today i have purpose, im tackling problems one at the time and living the life that i always dreamed to have.

#fip living life #and what a good life it is right now #there will be bad days #there may even be bad years #but the good years will always come as well

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nighttimepixels · 5 years

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someone asked me a really fun & interesting question that i got to answer earlier about my girls and now i’m curious about the lilytale ladies, if they were to be goddesses what would each of their domains be?

H… holy hell I love this ask,, guess who is weak for deity-type AUs?? THIS CHICK. It could go so many ways with them, tbh, but let’s go with…

(shortened list here, details about them under the cut! :D)

Serif (Lady UT Sans): Goddess of Stories and Memory

Vellum (Lady UT Pap): Goddess of Exploration and Discovery

Sapphire (Lady US Sans): Goddess of Light and Warmth

Amber (Lady US Pap): Goddess of Muses and Inspiration

Crimson (Lady UF Sans): Goddess of Combat and Bloodshed

Scarlet (Lady UF Pap): Goddess of the Hunt and Cold

Pepper (Lady SF Sans): Goddess of Passion and Greed

Cinnamon (Lady SF Pap): Goddess of Desire and Envy

Blade (Lady HT Sans): Goddess of Harvest and Ritual Madness

Twist (Lady HT Pap): Goddess of New Growth and Spiritual Ecstasy

Alpha (Lady Q Sans): Goddess of Invention and Ingenuity

Glyph (Lady G!Sans): Goddess of Music and Dance

Dusk (Lady HF Sans): Goddess of the Lost and Forgotten

Dawn (Lady HF Pap): Goddess of the Untamed and Abandoned

Serif (Lady UT Sans): Goddess of Stories and Memory

Be it history or legends or the excitement of a bard’s tale, Serif is the one mortals seek for support in this. She’s a very accommodating goddess, in fact, and though she enjoys offerings of any sort of homemade food or pillow or blanket, her favorite off-beat offering is precisely what she reigns over - a story, told from the heart. Her followers are often the ones seeking to establish celebrations of stories in local communities, both real and fiction, and the murky in between, and the more stories you share or inspire, the more likely you are to find her favor.

Too, if you cross her - or, as mortals tell it, even if you cross her deific sister or strange associated friends of her fellow goddesses, you’ll find your memory wavering in crucial moments, your stories flat, your histories lost, your spark for that weaving of tales that unites all mortals all but severed.

Vellum (Lady UT Pap): Goddess of Exploration and Discovery

She’s a popular goddess not just among those setting out on journeys, but with those attempting to discover things about themselves, or in their field of passion - and particularly amongst children! Loving parents frequently seek Vellum’s blessing to help inspire bright-eyed children to maintain that spark with ever more life. You’ll have even better luck if you offer her sweets or proof of discovery - and most difficult but rewarding of all, if you can bring her something that allows her a discovery and bit of exploration of her own! (Rumor has it, clever puzzles are a great way to go if you’ve a mind for them…)

Her favor usually just recedes rather than turns outright sour if it does at all, and that’s mostly when you prove yourself cruel to others. However, if you purposely snuff out someones sense of wonder & eagerness to discover, you may find yourself on the rare outright bad side of her opinion… and godspeed to any mortal that thinks they can survive long without blessings in regards to discovery in their everyday life.

Sapphire (Lady US Sans): Goddess of Light and Warmth

The rising sun, the kindle of the hearth, the flicker of a lantern, the gentle guidance of the moon and stars - all these are in Sapphire’s domain, and all these make her all the more loved. She’s nothing so raging as fire, but without her mortals would be well and truly lost - and so for her, people tend to rejoice. Her temples are frequently overflowing with offerings, glimmering rocks that catch the light, a blanket laid out to be taken by those less fortunate to keep themselves warm, a warm cup of tea, a few matches.

Her followers are adamant that she particularly prefers things in her domain that can be of use to those who truly need them, and so are open to be taken should the need truly arise. They’re right, of course - though you might find yourself of the very sour side of her favor if you take of (or withhold) these things without need… particularly if it’s on purpose/in spite. Good luck in those cold nights after you’ve proven yourself cruel, when you can’t seem to hide from the whisper of a breeze that snuffs your every match, when the nights seem darker, the stars obscured by clouds… She’s hard to piss off, but not impossible.

Amber (Lady US Pap): Goddess of Muses and Inspiration

Creatives the world over celebrate the blessings of Amber! She’s a tricky one at times, often pictured with an ineffable, almost mischievous smile - her blessings can come with a twist. You may not know how you’ll be inspired, but frequently it’s not how you expect - but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Her most ardent followers (artists, writers, musicians, craftspeople - but also countless workers of all fields) often laugh as they curse and thank her in the same breath, inspired for a dozen new things as much as their current work.

She’s got a lesser affiliation with seeking help in finding new paths in life in general - but she’s got a good track record with those that think to seek her help in this regard. And hey, if you’re leaving her baked goods or the results of your latest inspiration, then you’re likely in her good graces.

Crimson (Lady UF Sans): Goddess of Combat and Bloodshed

A fierce goddess that some are a bit too nervous to pray to - but most seek her help at some point in life. War and fighting are common topics, which she works with of course, but lesser known is just how ferociously she acts on behalf of a very different kind of bloodshed, too. She’s most often favoring the underdog, those that desperately need her help, who are taken advantage of and in a terrible bind; but this also includes anyone who has periods. Bloodshed amongst mortals means so many things, and when in the dark of the night, she hears the tightly whispered pleas of those who fear what may happen if their cycle doesn’t come, she has a perfect track record of helping them. Too, those that experience pain or other difficult symptoms, she finds ways to help them - it’s not always pain relief, but perhaps some sort of reward for bearing the burden of such regular bloodshed.

She sees the red that stains cloth and skin and ground alike, no matter how looked over it is by most; she believes those that soldier through it deserve more, and provides the strength to continue on, dreams to soothe the aches of the heart in these hardest of days, and a little more sureness of foot to carry your weary body. Her favorite offerings tend to involve good liquor, but she also enjoys those that linger in her temples, offering tales of their hard-won battles - whether with a weapon, or in the mere workings of their life.

Scarlet (Lady UF Pap): Goddess of the Hunt and Cold

While many pray to her during the hard cold months of winter, any hunter would be a fool to embark without offering a prayer to Scarlet. It’s rare they don’t; it’s not so much that she’d be offended and curse their endeavors, but they’re so much more likely to be successful or find some good favor or growth in their ability that it would be a waste not too. She’s a proud goddess, yet also isn’t one to stand much on ceremony; a cold night’s hunt, while taxing, may also find you the most blessed by her. She rarely gives simple blessings; rather, through her work you may find your skill growing. Some opportunity arising during your hunt to become better than you were in some aspect of it. It’s convoluted, yet worthwhile… if you put in the effort and show your dedication to her affinity.

Offerings of some small portion of your hunt certainly go far, but she also enjoys long tales - most particular of hunts of the heart, pursuit of who you love… in a consensual way, of course. Terrible things come to those she finds have been turning their skills in hunting to provide onto hunting to hurt… many have come to a grisly end, legend says, themselves becoming the hunted in their final days as she drew out their ending as a punishment for what they instilled in others by sullying her domain.

Pepper (Lady SF Sans): Goddess of Passion and Greed

Curiously, her followers are quite split on whether her temples should be lavish or spartan; some argue that she most favors passion of the heart and mind, and therefore would most prefer that passion directed in a way that enriches your life and the lives of others, while others argue that she most favors passion of the body, and so her temples ought to celebrate physical feats, both intimate and otherwise. Technically, they’re both right - her domain spans it all. Pepper is the Goddess of all things Passionate; be it your skill or most loved artform or topic, or be it your acts of passion for those you love.

Offerings that prove your passion, though it seems vaguely described, are what she most favors; that has lead to some temples having… closed off, private sections, for passion between people that wish for blessings to keep such passion cultivated, shall we say. She’s also a fiery goddess, and even if you don’t slight her in particular - well, let’s just say if you act to quash the passion of another (providing it’s not actively harming anyone else’s ability to pursue happiness), you’ll pay a heavy price and may find yourself haunted by apathy and a bottomless, unfulfilled greed with none of the satisfaction of acquisition.

Cinnamon (Lady SF Pap): Goddess of Desire and Envy

Some scholars argue that her and her sister’s domains overlap too much - and it’s true, there is overlap, and many find themselves most successful in praying to both of them. Cinnamon’s domain is broad, however, and is a double-edged sword of the most bittersweet variety. More often than not she’s instigating desire in others, of varying kinds; a challenge to overcome, to sort through, to feel ever more alive in your curious mortal coil. Desire can lead to passion, or to joy, or to curiousity or to combat; it can involve discovery, or storytelling, or it can turn dark in so many ways… not the least of which is brooding, broiling envy.

She’s a gateway to many other domains, and is as loved as she is cursed. Best offer her something tasty, or else find a way to offer something that sparks desire in her as well (a tricky matter indeed, but she likes followers that get creative).

Blade (Lady HT Sans): Goddess of Harvest and Ritual Madness

One of several goddesses here who have a twist in their domain; she’s affiliated with autumn for obvious reasons, though any harvest at any time of year is best had with a prayer and offering to her. Most importantly, though, is the celebration of that harvest (especially in the fall) - and the celebration of this cycle of life. In the death of what has been harvested is the life of you and yours; in your life, brings new life, to be harvested in the future again… and on again. It’s a madness of it’s own, the circle of life; and the more you allow yourself (and ideally, as many people as possible) to celebrate in a raucous, near-mad party that indulges in the absurdity of existence, with food and drink and music and dancing, the more your following year will likely see good harvest.

Life is for living is Blade’s opinion, and the opinion of her most ardent of followers. Even in lean years, celebration and letting loose is encouraged as much as can be managed, at least on a single day, if not the usual several. Her offering is the ritual madness itself, combined with the act of feasting and sharing food with others. Those that would take without providing support of some kind, that would take advantage of the harvesters or quash the stolen joy of the festivals… well. They don’t just have bad luck. Whispers in the winter say such people might just disappear.

Twist (Lady HT Pap): Goddess of New Growth and Spiritual Ecstasy

Often affiliated with Spring and Summer too, she nonetheless has domain over new growth in other times of the year… and, most pointedly, over growth that doesn’t relate to plants, too. While every farmer worth their salt offers prayers and first blooms to Twist come planting season, so too do people looking to embark on new paths, to become someone better, someone they can strive to be proud of. Too, she welcomes those that don’t know to pray to her… that don’t know how much they need that growth. It’s up to them whether they notice the subtle opportunities that arise under being under her watchful eye, whether they take the step in a positive direction, but she always hopes.

The madness of spiritual ecstasy is associated with her, too. It’s the sensation of breaking through an emotional wall you’d never thought you’d find crumbling under your desperate hands; it’s the vibrance of a dawn after a storm you never should have survived. It’s the incandescent moment of connection with a person your soul sings for; it’s the moments you’re moved to tears, your throat closing, your body trembling as every sense takes in too much atop a heart that cannot bear the agonizing beauty of a moment. It’s the power in a hand that’s always been too weak to bear what you witness yourself nonetheless bearing; it’s the ecstasy of a thousand voices rising in unison, bonded in the name of a single movement. You can pray for it all you want, but it is no easy thing to get; and yet such moments are of her orchestration, a madness you could never bear for long and yet could spend your entire life treasuring the few stolen moments you’ve had.

Alpha (Lady Q Sans): Goddess of Invention and Ingenuity

Little and small inventions alike, clever ruses and brilliant arguments, moments of connecting those two seemingly unconnectable dots - these are all under Alpha’s domain, and she relishes them. It’s a little madness in and of itself, sometimes, but should you cave to seeking it and see it through, you’ll see why her followers are so adamantly devoted. Her temples are akin to science and art museums, at times; prototypes left for her, people reciting brilliant breakthroughs in arguments, children convening to exclaim over their clever game or some connection that had never been explained, yet they made anyways.

Alpha doesn’t discriminate based on any strata of society, and in fact favors underdogs herself… and more intriguingly, is known to be amused by those who attempt to be clever in their prayers too- so long as it’s in good faith, and not just to be an ass. She’s been known to make an ass of those who try to turn cleverness to cruel advantage, and people murmur about those that get a bit too big for their breeches being cursed after flaunting being blessed by her and get greedy or forget to give thanks where it’s due (not just to her, but to the others around the person that made their invention/ingenuity possible).

Glyph (Lady G!Sans): Goddess of Music and Dance

As on the tin, her domain is precisely what you’d expect. There’s not a festival or celebration that doesn’t feature cheers to her, and every musician the land over frequents her temples which are never quiet. Some pray to both her and Amber, seeking inspiration in their music and dance, others combine their offerings between her and Pepper, seeking passion in their art, and still others pair her and Serif, in their effort to tell stories through music and dance- this doesn’t phase Glyph as goddess, and in fact she tends to appreciate those who connect her to other goddesses the most. Truly, she can be connected to them all, and her followers believe that she is in fact happiest when these connections are forged.

Her offerings most frequently come in the form of her domain itself, followers and prayers offered via songs or dances in her name, but too people may find themselves with her blessing if they offer their time to help others with their own music and dance, sharing the love and life of it. Rumor has it that wherever you find celebrations, where music beats with the footsteps of the dancing crowd, you may just find the silhouette of the goddess herself, dancing and inspiring song without people wholly realizing just whom they shared such a moment with.

Dusk (Lady HF Sans): Goddess of the Lost and Forgotten

Her temples are fewer and further between; in truth, there are only one or two that could even be truly called that. More frequently, small shrines are offered to her. At the edges of dark, haunting forests, on misty, cold beaches and at the edges of vast deserts… and too, in the shadows of dark alleyways, where people can be forgotten in plain sight. People who find themselves lost pray to her, quiet and desperate and alone, no matter how many people are around them. Those that pray, however abstractly, on behalf of those lost and forgotten, too, may find blessings as well, guiding lights home when the night seems too dark to get there, the call of a bird that draws them back to a path, or perhaps the flicker of a connection, an outreached hand, when they were in danger of losing themselves not physically, but emotionally or mentally.

She is not a popular goddess, but she is the quiet sort, at the edges of society; those that seek her help, truly, will rarely find themselves turned away, even if what they receive in turn is not what they expected. She has a particular affinity for those who find themselves lost while trying to help others, or while trying to resist the pressures that would have them or their loved ones otherwise crushed. She doesn’t expect much in offerings; curiously enough, simply a heartfelt prayer, and perhaps a return to a place you nearly lost yourself to lay down a blanket, or some food for another lost soul, will have you greatly in her favor indeed.

Dawn (Lady HF Pap): Goddess of the Untamed and Abandoned

Sister goddess to Dusk, of course, many confuse their domains, and yet their overlap is not as great as people would think. Whether it’s the untamed wilds or the untamed spirit, fighting viciously for what it believes in, it falls into her massive domain. So too are those not just lost or forgotten, but truly abandoned, by the will of someone who had the power to choose otherwise. Gentle to those affected by her domain, and vicious to those that landed them there, she’s a lesser-understood goddess who has a small but fierce following. Her temples are less temples and more… holy sites, in a way, some wild piece of landscape with a shrine built that is almost part of the landscape itself.

Her offerings tend to be supplies laid for those that are abandoned, simple things; but too, she has an affinity for wildflowers and rough crystals. You’ll have the best luck if the wildflowers are native and planted by her shrine, rather than cut down (where it will inevitably wilt and die); those that have received her blessing will often speak in awed, hushed tones of a great silhouette in the distance, five, six, seven times the height of a human… not an omen of ill fate, but a harbinger of a blessing they thought might never come.

#torrikor #night answers #lilytale asks #lilytale #imagine the lilytale crew #lilytale but goddesses #hnnnngh oh no its one of my (many) weaknesses #lilytale asks now may or may not include dusk and dawn it depends #but mostly i love the hf sisters so *eyes emoji*#long post #ahhhh i hope literally anyone likes this i took too long thinking about it and writing it up XD #i could've rambled more but hoo boi gotta reign myself in pff #lilytale goddesses totally have their own mountain 'palace'/temple

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cosmic-navel-gazin · 4 years

Photo

This is something a bit different from me, but in light of the recent announcement from Ubisoft that there’s going to be a remake of Prince of Persia: Sands of Time coming out in January 2021, I thought I’d share some thoughts.

(This started out small but got outta hand so super long post incoming, no spoilers for the games)

So first off, a bit of my history with the original game.

I’m a big fan of the Prince of Persia (PoP) franchise, and I’ll fully admit that nostalgia plays a big part in it. You see, in many ways this 2003 classic was my real entryway drug into the world of videogames.

It wasn’t the first videogame I had ever played. My friends had consoles, there were some games on the school computers, but I didn’t own games as a kid. As far as my parents were concerned, these were all the spoils and soul damning devices of Lucifer himself. You know how it is, every generation goes through this thing of blaming all the world’s problems on a new artform: rock and roll, comic books and then videogames.

So yeah, a gaming console or buying games for the home computer was a BIG NO-NO!

But of course, the more an authority figure says you can’t have something, the more you want and crave it. It was only a matter of time until the opportunity presented itself to me.

And then the day finally came.

It was just me and a couple of friends, going to this new magazine store near the school. And there it was: the dvd case that came with a gaming mag for like 5 euros if I remember correctly, stupid cheap for such a great game.

There was doubt, there was fear, there was anxiety. I didn’t know much about the game, only the old 1989 DOS Prince of Persia:

This had the same name but looked different. I was seduced immediately.

The case stared longingly at me:

It’s not my fault, I was bewitched and I bought it.

My symbol of rebellion, my first big transgression, and my first real treasured posession that I bought with hard earned money.

PoP:The Sands of Time was my original sin so to say:

Accurate representation of what happened that day

I furiously installed the game as soon as my parents left the house. Played it for a couple of hours and stood in awe at the thing - the cinematics, the cool parkour moves, the arabian nights setting, the time manipulation to undo mistakes when platforming or in combat, the Prince breaking the fourth wall saying:”no no no, that’s not what happened, let me start over” whenever I died and got a game over…

You have not experienced true fear if at some point in your life you didn’t feel the cold sweat running down your back as you hear the very distinct sound of your parents’ car arriving when you’re doing something “prohibited”.

As soon as I heard that sound, I quickly quit the game, uninstaled it (I could not run the risk of them finding out I had tainted their machine with a videogame *gasp!*), and ran to my room to hide the game before opening the door for them.

Neetheless to say, I never made much progress since I had to start over every time after quitting and uninstalling the thing. I would just play those first couple of hours over and over, never knowing how the story progressed, but I was happy all the same. At one point I knew every line of dialogue, every music cue, every sound effect of that beginning part. It would be some years before I got my first laptop and finally managed to complete it.

All of this to say that the game means a lot to me. Not just as a product or piece of entertainment. This wasn’t casually playing on someone’s gameboy advance or PS2 to have a bit of fun and pass the time.

This was more intimate.

It was just me; the game; a dark room and a blanket; and a sincere and charming, simple but compelling story told seamlessly through mechanics that only enhanced it. This was me witnessing gameplay and storytelling going hand in hand in a way that even many of my other favourite games don’t do, or don’t do as well (there’s usually some disconnect where a game only manages to really excel at one but not the other).

Ok, so on the announcement and trailer:

youtube

As a big fan you might think I was super hyped for this.

But I gotta say…no, not really.

I’m not super angry, but I’m not really excited either honestly. And I don’t think it’s just the rough and uncanny character models and animation that people are pointing out all over (although that doesn’t help).

I guess to talk a bit on that, I should stress out that my problem isn’t that it doesn’t look realistic enough. To be honest, and this is going to sound rich from a big Witcher 3 fan, I think that the gaming industry overall, moreso big tripple A titles, seem to have this unhealthy obsession with photorealism. Like, I don’t need to see the characters’s pores to care about these polygon people. Strong art direction is what I feel is more valuable. I just don’t think this arms race to photorealism is sustainable. Games are taking longer to make and fund, and I’d rather have dev teams spend more time polishing and refining the games’ mechanics and/or story if the trade-off is less “realistic” graphics.

It might just be personal preference, but I wish we were getting more stylized character and world design. Go look at some screenshots for Pathologic 2, a game that came out last year that hits that sweet spot between full-blown cartoony/caricature and realistic by today’s standards:

And I think that is somewhat what they were going for with this remake’s character models (or I hope it was). But it’s still not quite there, hopefully they’ll work on improving those so they can hit that sweet spot also.

(in defense of my hipocrisy and love of The Witcher 3, I think the more realistic look was appropriate for the world they were portraying, it benefits from it. However I don’t think I would love it any less if it had less detailed models and environments)

One last thing on the graphics.

I will say this though, at least from the footage we see in the new trailer the team seems to be capitalizing on colour. Big vibrant reds, blues, whites and yellows in the environment look great, and really captures the 1.001 nights/arabian nights feel that I absolutely love. I appreciate that since there’s always this tendency for remakes to suck all the colour and life from the original (in both games and movies), regardless if it fits the setting and tone or not.

Anyway, I think the reason I’m very much without a big reaction is that I believe the 2003 original is a true classic, a masterpiece even - I guess I should stress out that when I say masterpiece, I don’t mean it’s perfect. Just that the whole is bigger and better than the sum of its parts, that the things it does right, it does so right, that it completely overshadows the flaws.

The story, the art direction, the gameplay (the holy trinity of platforming, combat and puzzle solving), the brilliant introduction of the dagger of time as a gameplay and story mechanic (one of my favourite mechanics in all of gaming), the music, the charming duo that is the Prince and Farah, the tight pacing with the game being just the right length and not overstaying its welcome, the outstanding level design where you’re never stuck doing one thing for too long (the game is always juggling between combat, story, platforming and puzzles, mixing and matching)…

Looking at all these things, I just really don’t think we need a remake because I don’t think there’s that many glaring terrible flaws that could justify it.

Adding more scenes and content could be good, or it might backfire: bloat and ruin the game’s already excelent pacing and fluidity (which I think is the main keyword that better describes the original, everything flows superbly). The original was only 6-8 hours long and it is better for it. I’m not confident that adding dozens of hours of gameplay like the big tittles today would help at all.

The only real improvements I can see are:

tweeking and perfecting the combat (I’ve seen it mentioned that they’re implementing a targeting system which sounds good);

perhaps also better Farah’s A.I during combat when you have to help protect her from swarms of enemies;

Maybe throw in a couple more enemy types? The cut sand tigers for example?

usual things like adding the option of subtitles, add the ability to skip cutescenes;

But other than that��

I don’t even think the graphics of the original look bad. They’ve aged of course, with the game being 17 years old, but still. I installed it last night and played through the first hour to take some screenshots and I think they’re still good:

I can understand the MediEvil remaster, the Spyro remaster or the more recent FFVII remake in terms of wanting to update the graphics. I can understand that not everyone can easily go back to these low poly lads:

But this game? I know I’m influenced by nostalgia and all, but I don’t think it needs that makeover that badly, especially when compared to these other remakes and remasters. Funnily enough, I just noticed that these examples I just listed were all PS1 games. PoP: SoT was a PS2 , PC and Xbox game. PS2 era games have aged far better visually and don’t need that big a makeover in my most humble opinion.

It would be one thing if the original was out of print like a Rule of Rose scenario ,where you can’t find the game unless you go to ebay or something and it’s stupid expensive. Or if it was a pain to get running on modern systems like it was with Grim Fandango, until it got a remaster.

But no, you can find the Sands of Time trilogy and the PoP (2008) reboot on GOG and Steam (on Steam only there’s also the PoP:The Forgotten Sands midquel). So there isn’t the usual problem of the game no longer being accessible to people who want to play it, which helps justify the need for a remake.

The original still plays nice, sounds nice and looks nice, so I guess this all goes to show that at the end of the day, this remake just feels a bit unnecessary to me, at least from what little the trailer showed (I would love to have my bitter cynical ass proved wrong though!).

Maybe I just have a superhuman tolerance for older games and how they look, I really don’t have that big a problem if the game itself is good or interesting, so I don’t always think older games need remakes.

Maybe my falling out of love with Ubisoft in this last decade has curbed forever any hype I might have for their announcements, even when they pull out my son, my baby boy Prince of Persia out again.

Maybe I’m just burnt out and too pessimistic about remakes, remasters and adaptations (although game remakes usually do better than film ones).

And this makes me a bit sad because I don’t want to sh*t all over the first piece of “new” Prince of Persia content we’ve had since 2010??? Oof, it’s been a while.

Especially knowing that Yuri Lowenthal is coming back and excited to voice the Prince again. And I also don’t want to be too harsh since we’re looking at an alpha of the game. But so far I’m just very numb to this, I do seriously hope it turns out good and that they don’t rush it out the door. But I’m not convinced we need a remake in the first place. The original is a milestone, a game changer. I’d rather see a game that had great ideas and poor execution being remade than something people already love and consider a masterpiece.

Guess we’ll see how I feel once more news and footage come out.

Oh and feel free to share your own thoughts on this remake. I’m curious to know what both fans and newcomers alike think.

small edit: I can’t believe I was just watching this Sands of Time playthrough on youtube and at one point it is said: “Another game that is designed similarly to this is Soul Reaver actually.”

Of course! I didn’t even see it! All of my favourite things are connected!!! Maybe that detail was another thing that helped me getting really into Soul Reaver as I was first playing it.

#prince of persia #prince of persia: the sands of time #prince of persia remake #ubisoft #videogames #my ramblings #I can't seem to write a short post to save my life!

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