#like 1. why would you show me that 2. why did you show me that when i told you i was going back to ohio right then

[ozzgin]

Its been 6 months😭😭 pleaasseeee make a part 2 of the android x human story im beggingggg😭

-H❤️

Yandere! Android x Reader (II)

Featuring your assigned android partner who is not as devoid of humanity as you originally thought.

Content: female reader, AI yandere, mildly NSFW, based on Caves of Steel

[Part 1] | [More original works]

The case had been solved.

Not only that, but you'd managed to prove that human officers were just as efficient as their robot counterparts. The Commissioner was beyond ecstatic, pacing back and forth in his office and finding new ways to praise your detective skills.

"That'll show those Spacers. They think some glorified tin box can match our skill?"

You frowned at his words and glanced to your side, where the android was sitting. He observed the Commissioner with the same polite smile, no hint of disagreement on his features. Was he not insulted? You questioned him once the formal meeting had finished.

"I have no reason to be offended, (Y/N). It is a personal opinion, and thus I have no control over it."

"So you don't mind people disliking robots to such an extent?"

He pondered your statement.

"I would certainly be upset if it was you who harbored the disdain. The beliefs of other humans hold no meaning to me otherwise."

You couldn't tell if he said it out of politeness, or if he actually meant it. Most likely the former, in order to part on good terms. After all, your partnership has reached its completion. He'd return to the Spacer Colony with his report on human customs, and you'd go back to your regular job.

Except he never left. Days later, he was still sipping on his morning coffee, lounging at your table. You fiddled with your cup in contemplation. Was there anything else left to do?

"When are you leaving, actually?"

The pale man raised his eyebrows in mild surprise.

"Is my presence here of such significant disturbance?"

"What? No!" you swiftly exclaimed, stumbling on your words. His lips widened in yet another cheeky grin. He was teasing you again.

"My assignment on Earth is done, thus I should have returned to the Colony already. That's what you're wondering about, yes? I am awaiting a response from my superiors."

"Whether you can go back?"

"No, whether my transfer has been accepted. I have applied to be your permanent partner."

You could feel your cheeks burning with heat. Was it that obvious to the synthetic that you enjoyed his company? Then again, he wouldn't have gone through such motions just for your sake.

"Why did you..." you probed sheepishly. There was no logical reason for him to keep working in a poorer, less advanced environment.

"Because I want to continue spending time with you."

Nonsense. An artificial being wouldn't make its decision based on such mundane, emotional reasons.

"I don't believe you."

"I understand. It is a faulty answer to come out of a machine. Though unlike common AI assistants, we have been invested with the capacity to develop likes and dislikes. Interests. Wants. It helps with variety and individualization."

"And you want to stay here? If I didn't know you any better, I'd say you have a crush on me or something", you attempted to joke.

A few moments of uncomfortable silence. Had you gone too far with your humor? Was it too cliché of a sentence? You turned away, tucking some strands of hair behind your ear. You just had to be witty, huh?

"I'm afraid I do not know what to tell you, (Y/N)."

"You don't need to say anything, it was a poor choice of-"

"Many social aspects have been implemented into my behavioral network. Workplace rapport, friendships, intimate relationships. What seems to be lacking is the transition from one to another. I know how to act as a romantic partner, but how does one achieve such a title in the first place?"

You gazed at him, incredulous. What was he trying to say?

"I am trying to convey that I am indeed infatuated with you. Which, then, makes my initial explanation dishonest: while I do appreciate our fruitful work cooperation, it is not a main reason for my decision. I hope this clears up any misunderstandings."

You'd never been a romantic. You sometimes flipped through sample pages of contemporary romance books at stores and community centers, but they always felt forcefully cheesy. Predictable. Consequently, you never had any grand dreams of passionate confessions under the rain.

On the other hand, you also didn't expect to be asked out in such a mechanical, calculated manner. Or that a machine would be the suitor. Yet there was something charming about his approach. For the first time since meeting him at the border, you saw him struggle. There was something human-like in his uncertainty.

You stood up from the table, and walked towards the android. Then, you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, expressing the mutual feeling and understanding.

His eyes bore an eerie glint to them. It was most kind of you to offer a common ground, but he knew better. The affections you held for him were, with utmost certainty, a mere fraction of whatever overwhelmed him from the moment he encountered you. Limerence, obsession, compulsion, there were many definitions that aptly described his otherwise unexplainable desires towards you. Even more unexplainable was the fact they'd evolved from a blank slate, a programmed agent with no previous knowledge on feelings or humans.

You noticed his hesitation.

"Is there anything else troubling you presently?" you nudged.

Nothing of immediate urgency. Well, not for you, at least. The android remained thoughtful. What were the variables which needed to be met in order to initiate a sexual encounter? Would it have been inappropriate for him to suggest intercourse straight after this conversation? To him, it was a natural escalation he'd considered many times in the past. To you, it could've come as a sudden, crass, and hurried proposal.

He reached for your wrist and discreetly pressed a thumb against your skin. Judging from your resting heart rate, facial expression, and localized temperature, there was a fair chance you wouldn't reject his advances. Once the statistical risk had been assessed, he pulled you in for a kiss.

"Would it be possible to continue this in your bedroom?" he inquired, standing up.

"Alright, just don't...ask for approval for every single step" you retorted. You'd rather not become a narrator of your own pounding.

You open your eyes with a squint, greeted by unexpected natural light flooding your bedroom. Someone must’ve lifted the hologram blinds.

“My apologies, I hadn’t considered the discomfort it would cause you. My Spacer colony uses artificial lightning, though I am becoming rather fond of the natural sun rays here.”

Your android partner is meticulously preparing his outfit for the day. Judging by the stark nakedness and the glistening skin, you suppose he’s had a shower while you were still sleeping. You involuntarily furrow your brows and blush at the sight. He notices your embarrassment. 

“A most surprising reaction. You have seen the very same genital organ…”, he says as he quickly checks his wristwatch, “...precisely eight hours and forty-five minutes ago.”

“It’s just…most people get dressed once they start doing other things. I also wear a towel for coverage when I come out of the shower.”

He processes your words.

“Hmmm. Illogical, but it explains your reaction.”

You stand up and stretch with a prolonged yawn. Suddenly, a revelation hits you: your mind flashes with images of the android fondling your body, your ears ring with the shameless moans you’ve let out throughout the night. Your face turns pale.

“Listen, when is your next functional inspection?” you ask, without waiting for the synthetic to answer. “Will they, uh…will they have access to all of your memories?”

You know that the android permanently records all data and saves it into a memory unit. It’s a pointless fear, of course. The Spacers couldn’t care less about irrelevant details. If the intended tasks are fulfilled, what happens on the side is out of their concern. Yet you don’t exactly appreciate the possibility of your personal deeds airing like this, before the eyes of multiple engineers. 

“You may rest assured, whatever involves your privacy will not be included in the examination.”

“Do you get to decide what is checked and what isn’t?”

“No, most data is sampled randomly.”

You stare at him, confused.

“Then how-”

“It is not common practice, nor encouraged by our code of ethics. I can, however, choose which information is available to begin with.”

“What? I thought you’re fully controlled by whoever created you. If they so desired, couldn’t they open you up and take whatever they require?”

The robot smiles at your assumption and takes a few steps towards you.

“Once an android model is finished, one can no longer modify the processor. Not without compromising everything else with it. It is not a device to be deconstructed, (Y/N).” He taps his temple, then continues: “I am a biocomputer. While most of my parts are mechanical, my processor is a cortical organoid developed in a laboratory. A human brain, if you will.”

Somehow, the discovery fills you with dread. A living organ, encapsulated within a machine. What does that say about consciousness? About self-awareness? The Spacers didn't just tinker with metal scraps and smart computers. They artificially birthed life.

You were always under the impression that your robot companion is closer to the computer you have on your desk. Billions of lines of code within a black box, which then lead to spontaneous, novel interactions with the outside world. To think that at the very core of his functions lies a clump of living cells...

Perhaps you weren't so different, after all. The line between machines and humans is suddenly blurred.

[whismizxal]

who’s her man? pt 2 ln4

── in which y/n y/l/n soft launches her relationship and her fans are starting to figure out who it is.

── warning: fluff, secret relationship, love, kissing, probably some spelling and grammar mistakes, if there’s more warnings to be added, let me know.

f1 drivers. navigation. prt 1

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WHEN Y/N Y/L/N WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR OF THE ARRIVIALS IN MADRID AIRPORT she didn’t expect to see her boyfriend dressed in a black tracksuit with a large grin on his face.

she was quick to run up to him, drop her bags and hug him. the man held her tightly as he embraced her before pulling back and kissing her quickly and leaning his forehead against her’s.

“hi my love.” she said softly as she looked up at his eyes and stroked his cheek.

“hi gorgeous.” he responded back, his tone just has soft and endearing.

“thought we agreed you weren’t gonna pick me up, you need to rest.” y/n pointed out.

“you honestly think I wasn’t gonna pick up my girl from the airport after I haven’t seen her in two months? you’re crazy.” he said calmly as he held her, looking at her as if she hung the moon and the stars.

“you still need your rest love.” she told him whilst she ran her fingers through his hair.

“mhm, so come on then, let’s go rest.” he smiled, reluctantly pulling away and grabbing her luggage whilst his other hand intertwined with hers.

as they walked towards his car there’s a comfortable silence which is soon broken by him as he places the luggage in the car and opens the car door for her.

“how long can stay with me?” he asks, as he gets into the car.

“three months.” she sees happily, her smile only growing when she sees his reaction.

“yeah?” he says hopeful, his face filled with joy and love.

“yeah.” she confirms nodding her head as she leaned into kiss him which he accepted quickly. “you have me for three months.” she whispers against his lips with a soft smile.

“good.” he murmurs as he kisses her again, placing his hand on her cheek as she places her’s on the back of his head.

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landonorris made a story

yourusername replied to this story

my love, thank you 🤭

ofc, I can’t help but notice I am mentioned a lot though

it’s for you. pretty sure everyone’s gonna realise we’re dating soon

I love it. thank you gorgeous

🤍🤍🤍

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yourusername

liked by landonorris, your bestfriend and 721,191,822 others

yourusername you guys already know so might as well show a few photos I’ve taken over the past two years of MY BOYFRIEND. happy anniversary love 🤍🤍

tagged; landonorris

view 10,292 comments

landonorris WHERE DID YOU GET THAT LAST PHOTO?

yourusername your mum. where else would I get it?

username not the first photo 💀

username she did him dirty with those last two photos

username DID YOU GUYS GET A DOG

username damn two years

username so happy for you guys!!

danielricciardo surprised you guys kept it a secret for so long

carlossainz55 send me that last photo

⤷ yourusername you got it 🫡

⤷ landonorris NO WHY

⤷ yourusername too late 🤍🤍 sending love

⤷ landonorris I hate you

⤷ yourusername I love you too pretty boy

⤷ landonorris love you more

⤷ carlossainz55 take this somewhere else so I can’t stop getting notifications of you two flirting.

last part, hope you guys liked it <3 also I feel like this is really cringe but idk 😭. also that spotify thing looks so bad so I might change it.

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[stanlunter]

Bi erasure in the fandoms

There are many types of biphobia among people, but I wanna talk about the least noticable type of it, which is super common and barely gets called out. "Headcanoning" canon/implied bisexual characters (mostly female, for some reason) as lesbians.

Usually they don't even portay it as a "headcanon", but just state that they are and make everyone believe this. And when they done, people even start call you lesbophobic for calling bi erasure our, bc It's suddenly you're the one who "erase" lesbians. And the funny thing is that a lot of those who state so, haven't even watched these shows and just have "heard" that these characters are "lesbians" and the continue misinformate everyone else. And that's awful and very harmful for bi community

Let's take some examples

1. Asami and Korra

Both are bisexual women who were in love with the same man and then broke up with him and started dating each other. Prolly the most heavily implied bisexuals ever. But what do people have problems with? Oh, they think that if a bi girl has broken up with a man, it means only that she realized she's lesbian. Not that her ex was a cheater, not that their relationship was toxic. No, they can break up only bc she had a comphet. There are no other options. And if a girl dates another girl, she's also 100% lesbian, bc bi girls are just "straights who wanna invade lgbt", right? Oh, yeah, also Korra is strong and muscle "lesbian stereotype" and Asami is "cold and lady-like" "lesbian stereotype" so yeah, It's absolutely makes them lesbians! — another example of why the stereotypes are actually harmful.

2. Poison Ivy (both in the show and in the comics)

Absolutely the same thing as with Korra and Asami, but is also a "mean lesbian stereotype" which is basically the strongest stereotype, so yeah. Ivy dated Kite man and was actually attracted to him. She liked kissing me and enjoyed his company. The only thing that made her break up with Kite man is that he wasn't someone she saw her future with. He didn't fit her and she knew who did - Harley, her girlfriend. Even when Ivy knew she was attracted to Harley (bc she litterally cheated with her), she still knew she is attracted to Kite man and even so planned their wedding, but being attracted ≠ being soulmates, unfortunately. People also for some reason think that just bc Ivy hates men, it means she has to be lesbian. Ig they don't know there are bi or even straight girls who hate men. Like febfems (bi girls who refuse to date men for political reasons and their safety) don't exist. Like you can't be attracted to someone you hate.

And after all, Ivy dating Kite Man (and Dan Back) isn't even the main reason she's bisexual. Besides it, she was confirmed to be bisexual multipe times by many different authors. She's canon bi in almost every universe. And the way some new authors are trying to change her sexuality is a clearest bi erasure. And It's also funny, cuz if someone ever dared to turn a canon lesbian character into bisexual, everyone would immidiatly lose it. But when they do the same with bisexuals, It's suddenly being ignored. Wow.

3. Sasha Waybright

Thankfully the last time I don't see this so often (mb bc the fandom is dying tho), but just when everyone's favourite "mean lesbian" was confirmed to be bisexual, everyone went wild... Yeah, their favourite stereotype was broken. Does it mean they started to understand that stereotypes don't define sexuality and that even mean girls can like men? Ofc not! They obviously started to say that she was confirmed as bi bc: 1. Disney didn't want to let her be lesbian 2. Mate did it only to make the fandom mad

Lmao. They really gonna believe anything but that a character can just be...bisexual. And even so, they keep "headcanoning" her as lesbian. I've even heard people who were saying she had a "comphet" and will realize she's lesbian in the future. That's not even funny, but it does make me laugh

4. Princess Bubblegum

Oh, I love the way the whole tik tok fandom suddenly started to call Bubblegum "canon lesbian" just bc someone has said so and others have spread it up. Ig I should be thankful, that they at least recognize Marcelin being bisexual, huh?

Anyways, the thing is that Bubblegum, just as much as Marcelin was heavily implied to be bisexual. She litterally had an ex bf and for those who love calling every bi character with ex bfs lesbians with comphet, besides that Bubblegum was also in love with Finn in the episode when she turned 13. She litterally kissed him there and has said she wishes she could stay this way with him. It was directly shown throught the whole show that's the only reason why Finn's feelings are one sided is that Bubblegum is way older than him. And in the episode "Too young" it was directly confirmed. But people are still gonna call her lesbian just...bc? I don't even know why, she doesn't even fit stereotypes that much. Mb they decided to "ruin stereotypes" by it? Or mb they just decided that since6she rejected Finn (a litteral child) it means she can't be attracted to men at all? This logic is even worse. But God only knows what is in their heads

5. Yang Xiao long

Oh, yeah, this one is usually super objectionable bc she was showing interest in men basically only in v1 and then started dating Blake. And if Blake being bi was so clear that there are basically no people denying it or bc she fits bi stereotypes, who knows, however we should remember that bisexuals don't have to have equal attraction to everyone (like Blake, who had 2 male and 2 female love interests) and they don't have to date all genders to prove their attraction.

But there are many evidences of Yang being attracted to men too.

In the whole Yellow Trailer Yang actively flirts with a man

In ep3v1 she happily gazas on shirtless men and then, when Ruby says "father wouldn't approve it" she answers (I know, I fo) – which already would be enought to confirm her attraction to men

But in the same volume, when the team decorates their room, when Yang hangs a poster with a male band of the artists she's attracted too, it was shown that she liked men as well.

Yeah, I got that both the fandom and Roosters really love to forget everything that was in v1-2, but It's a fact that Yang is bisexual as well as Blake. But wait, she's a "strong lesbian stereotype", right!!! So let's ignore a bi representation, sure!

6. Sunset shimmer

Here's a girl, who canonically has dated a man and was officially confirmed to be bisexual by the author in Twitter. So why do people keep "headcanoning" her as lesbian? Oh, bc she's SUNSET and has flags of lesbian colors. Like "Sunset" was invented by lesbian flag, yeah. And what's the funniest thing in this perfect argument is that Sunset Shimmer was created even before the sunset lesbian flag designed!

And, yeah, I could take the "she has said that she didn't like Flash so it was a comphet/pretending" thing, but the problem is that it still litterally was confirmed by the author himself that Sunset is bisexual. And in the further show and even movie we can see clear signs of them still having a thing for each other. Like Sunset winks to him and many of their other interactions, but they can be read in a friends way as well ofc, which doesn't make her any less of canon bi!

7. Clawdeen Wolf

Her situation is exactly like Yang's. Since not so long time ago Clawdeen was confirmed to be lgbt and there was announced a comic about her and Toralei's romantic relationship, everyone started yelling that she's "canon lesbian" now. However it was only confirmed that she's wlw, not lesbian. And wlw includes these little unknown people called bisexuals.

But why do I say she's bi, but not lesbian? Well, bc it was clearly shown in the show and the movies that she's attracted to men. Yeah, she's a bit less obsessed with them than others and doesn't have a bf, however her feelings for many of them were obvious. And it was no where near a comphet. No, she was exactly attracted to them, that's a fact. So for now, she's a heavily implied bi character who had feelings for boys and who is dating a girl, just like Yang. And calling her lesbian is kinda biphobic

8. Kagami Tsurugi

A canon bisexual character, who's love to both Marinette and Adrian was confirmed in official synopsis for s5 and official show bible. She was shown to have a clearest attraction to Adrian and Felix, 2 men. Even if after she has broken up with Adrian (and no, not bc she realized she was lesbian, but bc he has fucking lied to her face and has broken up her heart) some people got an idea of her being a "lesbian with a comphet", this idea was destroyed again by her new attraction to Felix, another man.

However people are still gonna ignore her canon sexuality and call her a lesbian, by using "comphet" as a justification, or even by turning Felix and Adrian into transwomen, which isn't a justification to erase bi representation either anyways!

It's especially hurting since she's my favourite character I strongly relate to tho

9. Sayaka

Omg, Madoka Magica is an anime that includes girls who like girls. Almost all of the main characters are implied to be lesbians. But you know who's being headcanoned as a lesbian the most?? That's right! The only girl that likes boys too! What an irony, yeah? Sayaka has a huge romantic tension with Kyoka and has a canon crush on her male childhood friend – Kyosuke. So we can have the only bi rep out of 5 wlw girls. Ofc this rep was taken from us, bc some people wanna headcanon (or even impose it as canon) that the only bisexual girl is a lesbian with a comphet! Sure, yeah. Again, my favourite excuse for bi erasure, nothing's new, lol

10. Utena and Anthy

Another bisexual couple, who's coded sexuality is always getting erased. Uthena and Anthy love each other and even shared a kiss in one of the endings. The status of their relationship wasn't directly stated in anime, however everyone who has eyes can see their clear romantic and not only tension. Utena's another love interest is Touga, who was her childhood love who she was shown to have super clearest attraction throught the anime, and this attraction has no platonic explanation, so yeah, Utena ia attracted to both men and women and It's canon. The same goes for Anthy: she had strong feelings for Dios. Both characters are bi-coded and comphet was never there. People are just trying to use it as an excuse to bi erasure bc they want all wlw characters to be lesbians, that's all.

So, if someone is gonna say that I'm "denying comphet" or any other shit like that, no, I know it exists and I know a lot of lesbians go throught it and it deserves a representation too, but in such cases the difference between comphet and an actual attraction to men is so clear and you know that.

There are also examples of the characters who had or could have comphet:

Like Apple White, who thought she supposed to like Daring just bc he's "her destiny", but she never liked him (and even in her bio she says that just bc they have to marry, it doesn't mean they're dating) and her actual "true love", who's kiss made Apple wake up was Darling, his sister. And It's an actually good example of comphet bc of the society pressure. Or Yuzu (even tho for some reason some people still think she's bi) who was said to never be in love with anyone untill her step-sister, she even lied to her friends about having boyfriends bc she thought there was smth wrong with her since she isn't attracted to men. Also Velma and etc. Unfortunately there aren't that many examples, but even with these ones the difference between a lesbian with a comphet and a bisexual girl is obvious, so yeah, you just want an excuse to erase bisexuals and turn them into lesbians and it will never be okay

[flower-boi16]

I just finished watching The Full Moon, here are my thoughts.

Positives:

+The opening musical number is good & is admittely pretty catchy. I expected it to be some god awful love ballad between Stolas and Blitz, and thank god it didn't end up being that.

+The scenes of the Cherubs being horrified of the stuff at Blitz is buying are pretty funny I'll admit

+Nice to see the Dhorks and Cherubs back as well as a team up between the two. That's a fun idea

Negatives:

-The Dhorks just. Randomly appear out of nowhere to capture the Cherubs...? Where did they come from????

-The Cherubs for some reason try to lie about being excorists...? Why??? Why are they lying about this??? Why can't they just tell the Dhorks their beef with the Imps???

-So the Dhorks got more funding from the government because of the incident that happened the last time they met with the Imps, implying that they did send the footage they had, implying that the government now knows about the existance of demons. Ok so woulden't an incident as big as this get on the news...? Did this thing get on the news or no???

-The Cherubs are screaming right behind Blitz yet he NEVER hears them for some reason????

-Blitz being on completely good terms with Fizz still feels very weird to me. Like Fizz just instantly forgives Blitz for the sheer amount of physical and emotional truama he gave him in one episode and their back to being buddies again. It just doesn't feel earned is what I'm saying.

-So it's revealed that Loona and the others were following Blitz throughout the whole episode, which is how they were able to find the cherubs. Ok so if they were following Blitz around then woulden't they have seen the Cherubs? They were plainly hiding on the roof in the first scene, anyone could see them. Did they see the Cherubs at first? And if they did, why didn't they attack them earlier???

-The whole fight feels oddly very slow. Like I just felt bored while watching this fight scene unfold and that sucks because season 1 was able to create good fights, and even season 2's first half has some well-animated fight scenes. Why do the movements of the characters here feel so sluggish now???

-One of the Cherubs for some reason doesn't cut Millie's tail off and stabs her leg instead even though it's literally the thing that’s strangling her.

-Millie throws st. Cherub with her tail after that which she for some reason didn't do earlier.

-Moxxie makes quip in front of one of the Cherubs when he could’ve just instantly shot him in the face there. Seriously that was such an easy opportunity

-That fucking line where Stolass says "I thought so highly of you, I didn't know you felt so low of me" is PEAK Stolass victimization and Blitz being demonized. Plus it makes no fucking sense; like, BITCH YOU WERE SEXUALLY ABUSING HIM. OF COURSE HE WAS GOING TO HATE YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

-The whole finale scene is very confusing to me. It starts out good enough with the show actually ackgnowlegding Stolas' mistakes for once but then towards the end the framing begins to shift into Stolas victimizing and Blitz demonization, all culminating in that final line. "Oh no Blitz hurt Stolas' feelings he's such an asshole!!!". Like although the show sometimes acknowledges Stolas' mistakes it's rendered null by the show Still framming Blitz as an asshole for not understanding that Stolas has real feelings for him, even though all Stolas has been doing is SEXUALLY ABUSING HIM.

It all feels gaslighty to me. And the line where Stolas says that Blitz not realizing that Stolas has genuine feelings for him and thinks it's just for sleeping with him shows that the reletionship can't work makes it sound like Blitz is apart of the problem for not reconizing that Stolas loves him, even though, again, Stolas has been treating Blitz horribly throughout the first season so why WOULD Blitz think that Stolas loves him???? It's just more Stolas victimization painting him as the sympathetic one while Blitz is once again framed as the asshole by the narrative. I'm sorry. But I'm fucking TIRED of it. I'm tired of Stolas victimization. I'm tired of Blitz being demonized. And I'm TIRED OF THE FANDOM BLAMING BLITZ AS THE TOXIC ONE HERE WHEN HE'S NOT.

And sadly, the Blitz demonization is only going to get worse from here judging by the latest trailer.

This episode was just as awful as I was expecting it to be. 2.5/10.

[mocatii]

Hi! This post is a response to a post made by Ranidspace/Splatoongamefiles. For context, they (19 at the time) were accused of sending a 15 year old minor pornographic content. Here is the post from the victim that contains a link to a document with screenshots. I will warn that the screenshots are disgusting, view at your own risk.

I am making this it's own post so that A: The victim's original post isn't cluttered B: More people can see and be aware. The victim themselves also told me they would prefer this be it's own post. and C: I have Ranid blocked.

The allegations we are, and have been, making against you are that you send porn to a minor. Thats it. There is no missing story when the whole fucking story is you sent porn to a child.

I want to mention: you encouraged Wick to send porn. You, a 19 year old, fostered a situation where you told a 15 year old child that it was okay to send you porn. I dont fucking care if it was drawn, i dont fucking care if it was adultxadult personxdog childxadult or whatever, you let a 15 year old send you porn and encouraged it.

Ranid. You are an adult. The fact you kept telling this minor you were uncomfortable yet made no real attempts to stop this shows me you were only looking for reassurance from wick. You, a 19 year old, kept looking for reassurance from a 15 year old that it was okay to send them porn. You are the fucking adult in this situation, and you should've fucking acted like it.

1. There was no misinformation. All we said was you sent porn to a minor.

2. There is a difference between sending a minor porn and telling people to DM someone if they personally feel comfortable seeing evidence of someone sending a minor porn. Maybe we could've handled this situation better the first time, but it still pisses me off that you're trying to paint the original poster of the first callout (Who wants to remain anonymous, so i'll call them A) as doing something similar to you when we were trying to show evidence of what you did.

This entire statement is a lie.

You harrassed A and to the point where they had to take the original post down for their own fucking safety. You tried convincing A that calling you out would actually be harmful to everyone (Including the minor) because you wanted the evidence taken down.

You claim you've learned your lesson and are taking accountability, but none of what you've said and done shows that. You're acting like a person who got caught and is now trying to justify why sending porn to minors is okay, actually.

You have messed up a childs life and are now trying to run instead of taking accountability.

Fuck you.

Edit: Ranid responded claiming they already addressed everything yet they have not addressed 90% of this post. The only thing they've admitted is they've sent porn to a minor, yet they keep attempting to shift some blame onto the minor and everyone else who tries to call them out for it.

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Promptosaurus Rex; cw for toddler stuff, eg 💩 & 🤮]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) 19: weather (20)

'A-ha! We did it!' John says, possibly too chuffed as he holds up a freshly changed and dressed Rosie. 'We--'

She makes a very distinctive face, then grunts. John eyes her. 'Tell me that face doesn't mean what I think it means.'

Then he does the sniff test, and yes. Yes, it does mean that.

He lays her down yet again, fond exasperation tugging at his lips. 'Wee girl, why do you do this to me?' His mum has used the endearment on Harry their whole lives, so it's comfortable on his tongue as he reaches for wipes and a new nappy -- only to discover the stashes depleted. As in… nill.

John rolls several expletives around his teeth. But then Rosie giggle-gurgles up at him, and he swoops in to expel his breath instead on her cheek in the form of a huge raspberry. He almost doesn't hear the knock on the door.

He pauses, but then shrugs and picks her up. 'Sorry, sweetheart. Let's go see who's at the door, yeah?'

She is notably non-nonplussed. 'Livery?'

'Might be,' John replies as he reaches the building door and opens it. 'And it is!' His daughter claps and immediately reaches out for the spotty young man trying to wrestle a rather large box. 'Whoa, there.' John reins her back in; she wants to be friends with everyone, which is both endearing and alarming.

'Do I need to sign?' he says to the carrier, who, now that John's looking, isn't wearing any sort of uniform. He looks like a dishboy haphazardly and temporarily promoted.

'No, sir. I'm to bring it up to the flat.'

A seed of a thought germinates in John's head. 'That was your instruction?'

The lad nods, clearly trying not to show his impatience. John holds back a sigh, and opens the door wider to let him pass. 'By all means.'

And it's as John expected: Wipes, diaper rash cream, and nappies. They're even--though he really shouldn't be surprised--the correct size.

As soon as Rosie's changed (again), he's got his phone out.

'I trust the delivery made it in time?' Mycroft answers.

John spares them both the niceties. 'How?'

'Nothing untoward, I assure you. Sherlock texted me.'

'Right. And where is he?' They may have an… evolving relationship, but Sherlock is still Sherlock, and John can also admit he only vaguely remembers what the detective had said when he'd left earlier in the day.

'I believe the words "spleen" and "unidentified poison" are involved.'

'Excellent. Listen.' He clears his throat. 'I'll pay you back.'

'My mother would call that "vulgar," as you know.'

'And she's a lovely woman, but--'

'Discuss it with Sherlock, please. I've got work and must get back to it.'

He rings off. John stares at his phone.

Death by Holmes. That's it. That will be how his life ends.

---

Rosie has broken the laws of physics and/or cloned herself. She has. She must have done.

That's the only explanation for the sheer reach of mess he finds waiting for him after his clinic hours the next day. 'Bloody hell,' he breathes, standing in the flat's doorway and taking it in.

It's more than the usual whirlwind that happens when Sherlock's between cases and takes Rosie for the day - He claims loftily that he's putting her through intellectual paces, but really he just indulges her every whim, including her lack of enthusiasm for cleaning up. And it's not as if the flat was shining and organised to begin with.

John doesn't even have the bandwidth to log all the bits of chaos surrounding him. For heaven's sake, he hadn't even known they owned bubble solution. But, then again, they don't now, judging by the rather large soapy stain on the rug in front of the window, and the family of tipped-over empty bottles next to it.

'John!' he hears from Sherlock's bedroom. 'Come join us!'

He rolls his eyes, but goes anyway. The noises make it clear as to what they're doing, and John hangs his head before pushing open the door. He'd been hoping to at least have one nice mattress in the flat for a bit longer.

But no, currently Sherlock is holding onto an absolutely delighted toddler while, obviously, jumping up and down on the bed like he's seven. Actually, John fleetingly wonders if Sherlock even got to do such things when he was seven--

'Come on, John!'

--and the unabashed joy in Sherlock's eyes tells him his answer. With that, the resistance whooshes out of him. He toes off his shoes and joins them.

'We're testing the durability,' Sherlock explains, loudly, then swoops Rosie like an aeroplane.

John laughs, huffs of air as he jumps and watches his daughter. She seems to be enjoying herself, except-- 'I think she might--' He stops, reaches out. 'Sherlock, she's going to v--'

With a small noise of surprise, Rosie is, indeed, sick. The remnants of whatever they'd had for tea form a lovely puddle on Sherlock's expensive sheets.

The grown-ups both manage to avoid it, scrambling backwards and into each other, somehow. John, lungs tight, reaches for his daughter, not caring that she's got sick all down her front. 'My girl,' he says, going for soothing, knowing her reaction could go either way. 'Did that surprise you?'

Rosie, wide-eyed, lets out a small hiccough. Then her face crumples, and she starts to sob.

'Oh dear,' Sherlock says faintly.

John, because he's a bastard, feels laughter start to bubble up in his lungs.

Then he hears Sherlock repressing chuckles next to him, and the floodgates are open, them laughing together like errant schoolboys.

'We musn't giggle near an ill child!' Sherlock admonishes, but it works no better than it had the week they met. John bumps Sherlock's shoulder and curls Rosie into his chest, rubbing her back and putting his lips to her forehead in between breaths. She's not feverish, she just likely got swooped about like an aeroplane too soon after tea, so John relaxes and lets himself go, laughing like an idiot in dirty sheets with a dirty baby and a spotless Sherlock (somehow, the bastard).

Then there's a knock at the door. The door of the flat, not the ground floor.

He and Sherlock exchange glances, no longer laughing; even Rosie has geared down from wailing to whimpering. John shrugs.

'Come in,' Sherlock says, loudly, because of course he does; he doesn't give a toss what people think of his cleaning habits. 'We're in the master bedroom.'

A formidable grey-haired woman with a tight chignon and very no-nonsense shoes appears in the bedroom doorway. She takes in the situation, and then she tuts. Actually tuts, in a distinctly Edwardian way that John hasn't heard since his grandmother passed. 'Just as Mr Holmes suspected.'

Sherlock purses his lips. 'Mycroft sent you?'

'He certainly did. Now, out of those clothes and into the bath, please, all three of you.'

Sherlock opens his mouth to protest but the Look she gives him has him shutting it with a snap.

John would laugh if he had the fortitude. 'Beg pardon, ma'am, but he sent you because…?'

'Because you lot are a mess, a fact of which you seem to be unaware.'

John and Sherlock exchange another look. 'Fine,' Sherlock says curtly. 'But could you be so kind as to leave the room while we undress?'

'Certainly.' She gives a short nod, then turns on her heel and exits down the hall.

'Hang on,' John whispers loudly as they start to unbutton and unzip. 'Mycroft sent us a nanny?'

'I'm relatively certain she's his housekeeper, and just on loan for this evening.'

'I guess I should be surprised.'

'No, you shouldn't, as you're not entirely without wits.'

'Such flattery.'

'Dull.'

'It's almost sweet of your brother, really.'

Sherlock points a finger at him. 'Don't you dare.'

John's lips quirk. 'Don't worry, I won't send him a fruit basket or anything. I just-- I appreciate that he indulges a child he hardly knows, that's of no relation to him.'

Sherlock clears his throat. 'Yes, well, be that as it may, I say we take full advantage.' He pulls the now-naked toddler out of John's hands and heads towards the loo.

John watches them go, feeling quite swirled around by the last half an hour's events. But then he shakes his head at himself and his navel-gazing, and follows them.

---

John's phone buzzes while he's at work the next day, and he doesn't pay it much mind until he sees it's the day nursery. After he reads the message and is able to breathe again-- Jesus, being a father is not for the weak, is it-- he thumbs one to Sherlock. 

Did you get the updated pickup address from the minder? Trip to park rained out. 

He doesn't get a reply, not right away or in the next few hours. 

This could, of course, mean a few things. John firmly puts away the worst case scenario, and reckons a case has taken priority, seeing as Sherlock knew John was available for pickup if necessary. 

So, needless to say, he's surprised when he arrives at the given address. One, because Sherlock is there waiting. And two, because it's… 

John stares.

'John,' Sherlock says after a moment. 'I'm afraid my brother has outdone himself.' 

'Yes, well.' He coughs. 'I'm afraid he's turned an indoor football pitch into a Disneyland for toddlers.'

'As I said.'

'Jesus Christ.' He wonders how long Mycroft's been planning this. 'Wait-- Was this just because of the rain today?'

'Knowing Mycroft? Yes. Is that not a proportional response?'

John can hear the amusement in Sherlock's voice. 'Definitely not,' he replies, but his cheeks hurt from repressing a smile. 'Hang on,' he says. 'Why are you here? You didn't return my texts, I figured you were in the middle of a corpse or something.'

'Mycroft told me to stay put.'

John snorts. 'Didn't you think he might be using trick psychology to get you here?'

Sherlock scoffs. 'Soft science, that.'

'Sure.'

'Daddy! Sherlock!' John looks away from Sherlock at that particular mispronunciation of his flatmate's name, and is barreled into by a clumsy sparkly dervish. 

'What--' He automatically reaches down to pick her up, then does a double take at the elaborate butterfly painted onto nearly her whole face. It's basically a work of art, honestly, and he has no idea how someone got her to sit still for that long. 

'They are hired for speed,' Sherlock says to him, and he laughs, still impressed after all these years. 

'Incredible.'

Sherlock glances at him. 'Whether you mean the artwork or my deducing your question about the artist, you are correct.'

John ignores him and listens to his daughter chatter enthusiastically. The words "bouncy castle" and, somehow, "golf" filter out of it, and John chuckles.

Then he hears her say something that makes him double-take. 'Pardon? Say that once more, sweetheart.'

'Uncle Mycroft!' she repeats. Or at least, most of those letters. Enough to confirm.

John's jaw clenches. 'Did he tell you to call him that?'

She nods enthusiastically. 'He's fun!'

This jars John from his confused dismay, and he hears Sherlock snort, too. 'I suppose he can be, in his own way.'

'Don't lie to your daughter, John.'

John tries not to laugh, and nearly succeeds.

You're going to have a hard time topping this for her next birthday, he writes to Mycroft. He doesn't get a reply, but he supposes that's fair.

They get halfway through the relatively short walk home. Halfway. Before the heavens open up, changing from an aggressive mist to actual splotchy rain.

John swallows a curse, ducking under an awning and already anticipating Rosie wailing about prematurely losing her face art, about being cold and wet and out of doors. 

But when he looks at them, at Sherlock swinging his daughter down from where she'd been perched on his shoulders, he sees nothing but joy on her face.

Joy, and wet streaks of glittery violet paint. She's clinging to Sherlock's hands, and Sherlock looks -- Well, he looks really bloody happy, if John had to label it. But he hesitates in doing so, and resigns himself to just enjoying the moment.

'What,' he says once he's recovered his voice, 'Mycroft can't have a drone deliver us an umbrella?'

Sherlock chuckles, then sobers. 'He does adore her, you know.'

John looks at Sherlock, not quite hiding his surprise. 'And you're alright with that? With "Uncle Mycroft"?'

Sherlock's eyes flash with something, but John isn't quick enough to categorise it. 'A child should have a variety of influences in their life.'

'True, but--'

'And an expanded support structure they can rely on. I daresay Mycroft qualifies, don't you?'

John nods shortly, finding himself unable to form useful words.

Luckily, Sherlock does it for him. He sweeps Rosie back up into his arms and boops her nose, which makes John's eyes cross with cognitive dissonance but there it is all the same. 'Shall we continue walking and enjoying the rain?' the detective asks Rosie. 'And then have a nice bath and some tea? I'm sure your father will make up a fire, too.'

John swallows. 'Sure, yeah.'

Heart warm enough to hurt, he follows them out from under the cover and into the storm.

Time's too short, he reckons, to fuss about dreary weather.

[ <3 ]

[inspiration: Richard Shindell's 'The Weather'. Also consulted bubbleinc.co.uk, obviously.]

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Sams incorrect quotes 6.

1.Lunar: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE! Lunar: aggressively throws water bottles Bloodmoon: Uh… what's up with him? Eclispe: He's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us. Lunar: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU! Ruin, crying: It's working.

2.Earth: What state do you live in? Sun: I live in a state of constant anxiety.

3.Eclipse, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Earth: Hey. Ruin: Hi. Lunar: Hello. Moon: Hey! Eclipse: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Bloodmoon: We were out of Doritos.

4.Ruin: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way. Bloodmoon : Did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?

5.Sun: What's the most efficient way to burn calories? Earth: Exercise more. Bloodmoon: Set yourself on fire! Moon: There are two kinds of people.

6.Moon: Hello Bloodmoon , made anyone cry today? Bloodmoon : Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.

7.Ruin: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

8.Eclipse: I'm not doing to well. Earth: What's wrong? Eclipse: I have this headache that comes and goes. Bloodmoon enters the room Eclipse: There it is again.

9.Sun: Is Bloodmoon always like this when they lose? Ruin: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015. Bloodmoon: You bumped that table and you know it!

10.Ruin: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window. Lunar: …We're on the ground floor. Ruin: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

11.Eclipse : holding a salt packet It’s just a little sodium chloride. Moon: Actually Eclipse , it’s salt. Eclipse : That’s what I said, sodium chloride. Moon: Uh Eclipse , that would be salt. Moon: *takes salt packer from Eclipse * This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

12.Lunar: Good morning. Earth: Good morning. Sun: Good morning. Eclipse: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Bloodmoon : MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

13.Bloodmoon : Hey, can I get a sip of that water? Moon: It’s not water. Bloodmoon: Vodka! I like your sty- Moon: It’s vinegar. Bloodmoon: …What? Moon: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

14.Lunar: Bloodmoon , I am questioning your sanity… Moon: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

15.Bloodmoon : You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. Bloodmoon : That's why I own TEN guns. Bloodmoon : Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

16.Ruin: Fight me! Bloodmoon , standing behind him and holding a knife: mouths Do not.

17.Bloodmoon: I lost Lunar. Sun: How did you LOSE Lunar?! Bloodmoon: To be fair, he is very small.

18.Eclipse : Everyone synchronise your watches. Lunar: I don't know how to do that. Bloodmoon : I don't wear a watch. Ruin: Time is a construct.

19. Sun: Look guys, I need help. Earth: Love help? Moon: Financial help? Lunar: Emotional help? Bloodmoon: Help moving a body? *Everybody looks at Bloodmoon * Bloodmoon: What?

20.Moon: A mouse! Sun, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you. Bloodmoon , pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal! Earth, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. Ruin , gasping: It's Ratatouille! Eclipse: His name is Remi, dummy. Moon: …I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window… what is wrong with you people.

[catmiemy]

Another Chance to Live Part 4 (Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader)

Summary: Ana and you finally start dating.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

A/N: Look at me sticking to my upload schedule. Although I might be able to publish the final two parts earlier since I had more time to write because I had to cancel some plans thanks to conjunctivitis.

I hope you enjoy these two finally getting together. As always, happy to hear what you think :)

After your conversation with Jenni you continued to sit on the couch, staring at your phone as if the device would be any help in figuring out how to ask Ana out.

As it turned out, it actually did. While you were still contemplating, weighing the pros and cons of every option, your phone buzzed with an incoming message. Your heart skipped a bit when you saw it was from Ana, just like it always did. And your heart definitely skipped more than one beat once you read the message.

You read the words over and over again, finding it impossible to believe this was actually happening. For so long you had told yourself there would never be anything more than friendship between you and Ana, and now all of the sudden your whole world had been turned upside down in the best way possible.

A little birdie just told me about the conversation you had.

Hope you don’t mind she told me.

Jenni said you didn’t tell her not to tell me, so she thought it was fair game.

Anyway, what do you say about changing our hangout tomorrow to an official date?

You know as a date, as more than friends.

Ana’s reply was almost instant.

Of course I don’t mind, it makes my life a lot easier!

I really owe that birdie, but don’t tell her that.

And yes, I’d love to do that!

You quickly texted back that you were excited about it as well, before putting away your phone grinning like a fool.  You felt like you were floating on a cloud of happiness, something that you hadn’t experience in a long, long time, maybe never to this degree.  

Great, I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow.

Already looking forward to it.

---

The next day you got more and more nervous the closer the time for Ana to pick you up came. However, whenever the anxiety threatened to become overwhelming, you just thought about the Swiss woman; how happy you always were in her presence and how at ease she made you feel, as if you were perfect just the way you were. Every time you did that you immediately felt much calmer; less anxious nervous and much more joyful excited. 

 Still, it took you forever to pick out an outfit, mentally thanking Ana that she had texted you earlier in the day to at least let you know what style of clothes you should be wearing, elegant but not overly fancy. In the end you settled on a black dress because you could never go wrong with that, and it did show off your body in the best way possible.

Even with all the internal debating about your outfit you ended up being ready almost 30 minutes before the pickup time, because you had started so early. Therefore you settled down on the couch, trying and failing to distract yourself with your phone.

Only a few minutes passed before there was a knock on the door. With a frown you went to open it, hoping it wasn’t your parents with some sort of request to help them out. You definitely didn’t have time to do that right now.

However, when you opened the door and laid eyes on Ana your frowned turned into a big smile. You were always happy to see her, but tonight even more so. Finally you got to be with her in the way you wanted, no more pretending to be just friends.

“Hi,” you greeted her, too distracted by the blonde’s mere presence to wonder why she was here so early.

“Hi,” Ana echoed, stepping forward to hug you. You melted into the embrace and turned your face inwards against her neck, relishing in the fact that you didn’t have to suppress gestures like this any longer.

“Ready to go?” The Swiss woman asked you after a bit.

You nodded, grabbing the bag you had conveniently placed next to the door. When you turned back towards Ana, she reached out offering you her hand. You instantly laced your fingers through hers, the small contact filling you with warmth and an overwhelming sense of belonging right there in this moment.

When you were getting into the car you heard the church bells ring and suddenly realized how early the Swiss woman had been. It wasn’t like she was known for being unpunctual, but also she wasn’t usually this early.

“How come you were here this early? Did I have the time wrong?”

That seemed like the most logical explanation, even though you had checked the time in Ana’s text about at dozen times.

“Well, I knew you’d be ready early and I didn’t want to make you wait unnecessarily and maybe get anxious.”

Your heart melted at this. It was so thoughtful of Ana and it showed how well she already knew you. This fact put you even more at ease. There was no need to pretend or try to show yourself in the most favorable light, this woman already knew you and somehow she still liked you.

“Plus I was excited to go out with my friend,” the blonde continued.

For a second your stomach dropped at the last word, but when you looked over and saw the humor in Ana’s eyes you recognized that she was just teasing you.

“I guess I deserve that,” you conceded, “And for the record I never wanted you to be just my friend.”

You were a little surprised by your own boldness. However, Ana made you feel like it was not only okay to say what you were thinking, but that it was in fact exactly what the Swiss woman wanted.

“That’s good to know,” Ana stated, sounding much more serious all of the sudden as if she still hadn’t been totally sure about your feelings.

Suddenly you felt a little silly for not taking into account that other people got insecure as well. You had been so focused on yourself, that you had never considered how it must have been for the Swiss woman to constantly hear you emphasize that you were merely friends.

“I’m sorry about that, I just didn’t think there was any possibility you’d ever like me too,” you apologized.

Ana looked over at you sadly. “I know, but we’ll work on that,” she promised.

“On what?”

“On the way you see yourself! Don’t think I missed how you didn’t believe me when I told you that everyone I know on the Spanish national team likes you and is always looking forward to seeing you,” the blonde elaborated.

You didn’t quite know how to react to such blatant flattery. Most likely this was just Ana being sweet, but you couldn’t lie, it was still nice to hear.

“See, you’re doing it again. You don’t believe me,“  the blonde accused you softly.  

You whipped your head around to look at Ana, shocked that she could read you so easily. Up until now you had always prided yourself on having a good poker face, but apparently the Swiss woman saw right through it.

She didn’t say anything else though, merely smiling at you gently. The silence gave you the time you needed to gather your thoughts. Once again you found yourself being surprisingly honest.

“It’s just because I’m nothing special, I’m just me. I’m too quiet and not very interesting. It’s not like I think everyone hates more or anything. But why would anyone particularly like me?”

In your opinion you had made a good point, but Ana’s eyes were filled with disapproval and sadness on your behalf.

“Because you’re a great person! You always have an open ear for everyone. If there’s anything you can do to help someone, you do it without hesitation. You have such a good heart and you’re so mindful of everyone around you, doing your best to make everyone feel seen and heard.”

“Sure you don’t talk everyone’s ears off as soon as you meet them, but once you’re more comfortable? You tell great stories that always make me feel as if I’m right there with you and I love hearing what you think about things because I can tell that you took your time to form opinions. And to see you speak passionately about the things you care, that’s just something else!”

“Also, I love how much you appreciate the beauty around you. Going somewhere with you is such a treat because you will always point out the pretty flowers, the interesting cloud constellation or the cute dog you see with so much joy and reverence.”

“And let’s not forget that you’re gorgeous. You have the most beautiful and kindest eyes I have ever seen and don’t even get me started about your smile!”

You were overwhelmed by how easily, without even thinking about it first, the Swiss woman managed to list all of these nice qualities. It made you more inclined to believe her. At the very least Ana had you convinced that she meant every word she had said, and that in itself was a good feeling, even if you weren’t convinced all of this was actually, objectively true.

“I could keep talking all night long about all the reasons why I like you so much, but I guess you wouldn’t really appreciate that. So instead I’ll keep bringing it up for as long as you’ll let me be a part of your life, which I’m hoping will be a very long time,” Ana concluded.

“That’s probably a good idea, otherwise you’ll spend the rest of the evening with a tomato head,” you joked.

You had always hated how easily you turned red, your frustration usually only making it worse.

“I wouldn’t complain about that for a second, I find your blushing adorable,” Ana commented, which of course only made you blush even more, but for once you didn’t mind as much.

You arrived at your destination soon after, and you immediately recognized the place from pictures you had seen of Lola and her girlfriend. So the mystery of how the blonde had chosen where to take you was solved. You had never actually been to the restaurant yourself since it was very romantic and mostly frequented by couples, but you had heard good things about it.

By the end of the evening you could definitely confirm that all the praise you had been told about the restaurant was justified. Although in all honesty every place would have felt like heaven to you when it was the location of your first date with Ana.

The conversation stayed mostly light and happy for the first half and hour, both of you enjoying each other’s company and this new and exciting situation. In a lot of ways it wasn’t all that different, you talked as easily as before, the conversation flowing effortlessly. So once again you realized that you had gotten into your heard for nothing. Things weren’t awkward or weird at all, like you had been concerned about.

Sure, there were some differences, all of them positive though; the way you kept slipping from normal conversation into light flirting, how you just gazed deep into each other eyes a few of times, and the way Ana placed her hand onto yours and left it there as long as she possibly could, sighing when she had to retract it because you both needed your hands to eat.

“So do you want to talk about the national team?” You asked, once the last of your nervousness had settled.

Ana shrugged her shoulders unsurely, smile dropping from her face. You had to fight the urge to take it back and apologize for probing; reminding yourself about the conversation you had had after the game against Barcelona. It was okay to ask, and if the Swiss woman actually didn’t want to talk about it, she would tell you. Still, this went entirely against your instinct.

“It’s just such a frustrating situation. Inka is a horrible coach! At least for us, maybe it’s just not a good fit, I don’t know, but for us it doesn’t work. We’re playing badly and the atmosphere at camp isn’t how it used to be. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nothing like what I heard about Spain, but everyone was kind of in a state of constant annoyance and was so happy when we could leave.”

“And the worst thing is that the home Euros is coming closer everyday and I wanted that to be the crowning moment of my career. Maybe that’s selfish, I don’t know, but now? Now I think it’s going to be nightmare, if I even get to go at all,” Ana finished her rant that had began passionate and angry, but fizzled out into something more like helplessness. 

Exactly like after the game against Barcelona the Swiss woman looked drained, her shoulders slumped and her smile no longer reaching her eyes. It made you simultaneously want to give her the longest hug in the world and go and punch Inka in the face.

However, since you were still sitting in the restaurant you settled on reaching over and giving her hand a good squeeze, before doing your best to come up with a good response.

“I’m so sorry things are like that and I’m always here to listen if you need to rant about it or hold you if you need to cry. Trying to keep in your emotions isn’t healthy.”

That was probably one of the most hypocritical things you had ever said, you who always held your emotions in until you felt like imploding. However, theoretically you knew that wasn’t a helpful thing to do, so you weren’t going to advise someone else to do that.

“And I can help you figure out if there’s anything you and the girls can do. I did a lot of reading and looking things up when everything was going down with Spain. Of course it’s a totally different system, but I’m still happy to help out,” you offered.

A soft smile, a real smile, one that made Ana’s eyes shine, returned to the blonde’s face.

“I appreciate how much you care. That means more than I can ever express with words. To be honest we’ve already started looking into what our options are and have been talking with the Swiss federation. So maybe it’s not quite as hopeless as it feels right now. The next few weeks should give us an answer to that,” Ana told you.

You felt some relief at that. Surely there was no way the Swiss federation would be as difficult and idiotic as the Spanish one. Right? Therefore things would hopefully be sorted out before too long and Ana would get the home Euros she deserved.

“That’s good. I’m confident things will turn out okay,” you said with more confidence than you actually felt. But Ana didn’t need to know that. If you were wrong in the end you would deal with it then, right now the best thing you could do was strengthen her hope.

“Yeah?” The Swiss woman double-checked, confirming to you that this was actually the right thing to do.

“Definitely,” you assured her, praying to a god you didn’t believe in that you wouldn’t be proven wrong.

“I think so too,” Ana admitted quietly, as if she was scared to say it too loudly out of fear of jinxing it.

“Now let’s talk about other things. I don’t want Inka to ruin the mood on my date as well, she has done enough of that during camp. How about we focus on your national camp instead? I heard you almost made Jenni rip out her own hair with your cluelessness,” the Swiss woman teased with a big grin.

Your first instinct was to tell Ana that it was totally fine to keep talking about the situation with her national team, that it wouldn’t ruin anything. But then she mentioned Jenni and all the teasing you had endured, and all of the sudden you wanted to beg her to continue talking about the Swiss team. Anything to avoid speaking about how oblivious you had been.

“Come on, let’s be honest Jenni would never rip out her precious hair or do anything else to ruin her looks,” you deflected, basking in the sound of Ana’s laughter. You would never get tired of making the blonde laugh.

You kept up the banter for a bit, before you remembered a specific thing you had been fretting about for the last 24 hours. It probably wasn’t something you should bring up on the first date, or maybe it was exactly the kind of thing you had to mention on the first date. You still hadn’t made up your mind about that.

All you knew was that in that moment, feeling happy and secure in Ana’s presence, you wanted to talk about it. And maybe it was time to do what you wanted more often and worry less about whether it was the ‘normal’ thing to do. What was normal anyway?

“There’s something I need to tell you”, you blurted out, kicking yourself for making it sound so ominous. No one ever said ‘I need to tell you something’ about unimportant stuff.

“Of course, I’m all ears,” Ana replied, smiling at you encouragingly.

“Okay, so…” You swallowed, trying to gather yourself. „I’ve never been in a serious relationship before. I mean I’ve dated and had flings and such, but never a serious long term relationship. And I don’t know it that’s a problem for you. I would totally understand if it was. And maybe I shouldn’t even have brought it up tonight, so I’m sorry if I’m making this awkward. Although if it is a problem then it was probably good I told you today. I…”

“Schatz,” Ana interrupted you. You didn’t really know any German, let alone Swiss German, but you were fairly certain you remembered this one. The use of a sweet pet name relaxed you significantly; she wouldn’t do that if this was in fact a deal breaker.

“I don’t care about that in the slightest. I’ve never been in a relationship with you either, so that will be brand new for me too. We’ll figure it out together,” the Swiss woman promised.

“Together,” you echoed. You loved the sound of that.

---

As time passed and more dates followed it became clear that Ana had been right. Things between the two of you just progressed naturally and not once did you feel out of your depth because of your lack of experience with relationships.

You shared a magical first kiss on a walk through the city after your second date. Ana’s lips felt pleasantly warm on yours in the chilly night air. After that all dams were broken and you spent a lot of time kissing like two hormonal teenagers, slowly or more precisely pretty rapidly moving on to other activities.

After the first time you slept together, the two of you lay in Ana’s bed facing each other. The Swiss woman gently traced her thumb over your forehead and your cheek, looking at you lovingly. Although you did your best to avoid using this word for anything to do with Ana just yet. It was too early to even think about love.

“Are you okay? Was this okay?” The blonde whispered, her eyes serious and for some reason slightly worried.

You stared at her in surprise. Could she not see how happy and satisfied you were, how cherished and lo- adored you felt?

“This was perfect and I feel amazing. You know I had sex before, right?”

Suddenly you weren’t sure if you had been clear about that. Maybe you had given Ana the impression that you weren’t just a relationship virgin, but an all around virgin.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but still this is a big step and I just wanted to check in. It’s different when feelings are involved,” Ana elaborated.

For a moment you just grinned at her like an idiot. If you thought you had been feeling lo-, adored before, it was nothing to how you felt now.

“You’re just the absolute sweetest, tesoro. And you’re totally right, it is different. So much better! I can’t wait to go again, but right now I need some sleep. Someone wore me out.“

You looked at her pointedly, but that quickly changed into a smile when you saw how proud of herself Ana looked.

“In that case, sleep, mi Schatz. Because I definitely need you to be ready for another round soon,” Ana said, pulling you against her and kissing your forehead.

It took you all of five seconds before you fell into a peaceful slumber, your face buried in Ana’s neck.

---

However, you were right too, about everything sorting itself out with the Swiss national team. You were eating lunch at Real’s training ground when you heard, willing the time to move faster because tonight you would finally see Ana again. The two of you hadn’t been able to meet up the last few days because of insanely busy and conflicting schedules.

So when your phone buzzed with a message from Ana your heart fluttered happily. Hearing from her was always the highlight of your day. Things at Real were still less than ideal. You didn’t feel connected to the team, most of them still seeing you as ‘that Altético player’.

You were well aware that you were to blame for that as much as anyone, maybe even more so. Your efforts to integrate into the team had been minimal to say the least. And you felt a fair bit of anger at yourself for being so unprofessional, but somehow that still wasn’t enough to change anything. You just didn’t want to be there. It was as simple as that. And you could pretend, but you couldn’t change your actual feeling.

Day after day you forced yourself to be perfectly punctual, train hard, listen to the game plans and analyses, but there was no joy to any of it. Not even when you played games, something that you had always loved before. You were simply going through the motions.

At least you were having a pretty good season; otherwise your disappointment with yourself would have been through the roof.

When you checked your phone you saw that it was a screenshot announcing Inka’s departure from the Swiss national team. A happy squeal escaped you, everyone turning to look at you. It wasn’t like you to be loud, especially not in a cheerful way.

“What is it?” Misa asked curiously.

You simply showed her your phone, a smile appearing on the goalkeeper’s face.

“This is great news,” she agreed.

“Amazing news,” you corrected.

Now you were even more excited to see Ana later that night and celebrate this special occasion.

You were happy that you had decided to meet up at your place; this gave you the opportunity to prepare something special. However, you didn’t have much time, so you found yourself standing in the store after training looking around frantically and blanking on what to do.

The first idea that came to mind was to get a cake with a message like ‘She’s gone!’ on it. But you seriously doubted that you would get one on such short notice. Also a whole cake for just the two of you didn’t sound like a good plan.

So maybe just a card? What kind of card though? You had some strong suspicions that there wasn’t anything like an ‘I’m so happy you got rid of your stupid national coach’-card. 

You could practically feel the seconds ticking by, getting more and more anxious by the minute. Time was running out and you still didn’t have the slightest idea what to do.

Noticing how tense you had become you forced yourself to exhale slowly and relax your body, starting with your jaw and slowly progressing downwards. There was no reason to get so stressed about this. Ana wouldn’t expect any grand gestures; you wouldn’t disappoint here no matter what you did or didn’t do.

As you calmed down the fog in your brain lifted and you regained the ability to make decisions. After having a swift look around you settled on buying the ingredients for Ana’s favorite meal, as well as two caramel cupcakes. As a last minute decision you added two candles to put on the cupcakes, one an I and one a G. This way you could literally get the satisfaction of seeing Inka Gring’s legacy go up in smoke.

Later that evening Ana arrived at your apartment with a bright smile on her face and some extra pep in her steps. She immediately pulled you into a tight hug, rocking the both of you excitedly from side to side.

“I’m so happy for you,” you told her, leaning back slightly to beam at her, before getting closer again and peppering her face with light kisses. 

This made Ana giggle. “And you know what makes me happy?” She gasped.

You stopped your kisses and tilted your head, unsure of where the Swiss woman was going this. It didn’t seem like the kind of question she would ask if the answer was the obvious one; Inka leaving.  

“That you are so happy for me. It means the world  to me that you care so deeply, about both the good and the bad things happening in my life,” Ana clarified.

A blush cropped up on your face and you moved to hide your face in Ana’s neck, but the Swiss woman gently stopped you

“Don’t. You know I love your blush,” she murmured, placing her hands on your slightly pink cheeks and taking in every inch of your face. “So beautiful.”

Of course that only made you blush more. Ana winked at you, but didn’t stop you when you once again stepped forward to bury your face in her shoulder.

The two of you spent a nice evening together; spirits were high all around thanks to the good news. Ana showered you in compliments for your cooking and when you brought out the cupcakes she burst into laughter.

“I love this! Like a cleansing from Inka,” she said in between laughing.

“Shhh, this is a serious matter,” you chastised her playfully.

“Oh sorry,” the blonde replied, forcing a solemn expression onto her face.

However, it only lasted for all of five seconds before the huge smile that had been on her face all night long returned. You wouldn’t be complaining about that though. A happy Ana made you happy.

“To the end of the unfortunate Inka-area and to a better future for your national team,” you announced, lighting the two candles on fire. “Make a wish!”

Ana leaned forward and blew out the candles with closed eyes. Then she turned to you. “Do you want to know what I wished for?”

You shook your head firmly. “No! Otherwise it won’t come true.”

Ana smirked. “Too bad because it involves you.”

“Wait really? Then I change my mind and want to know,” you backtracked, mentally running through everything she could have wished for.

“Nope, too late,” the Swiss woman informed you.

“Meeeeeaaaaan,” you complained.

Ana just grinned at you, shrugged her shoulders and took a big bite of her cupcake.

When you continued to pout at her, she offered you a compromise, “Fine, I’ll tell you when it comes true, okay? And now enough with the puppy dog eyes. Otherwise I might crack and tell you right now and then we’ll both be at fault when it doesn’t come true.”

“Sounds good to me,” you agreed, biting into your own cupcake with gusto.

And honestly just knowing that Ana had made a wish that included you warmed you heart. It was nice to be such a big part of someone else’s life, someone other than your parents that was. But you wouldn’t think about them right now, nothing was allowed to taint this moment.

Instead of dwelling on your thoughts you looked up at Ana happily chewing the last bite of her cupcake.

“I love you,” you blurted out without thinking about it.

Once the words had left your mouth you instantly regretted them. Not that they weren’t true, they absolutely were, but you hadn’t said them to each other yet. So what if Ana didn’t feel the same and you just ruined this perfect moment? Or even worse, everything!

At least Ana was still smiling at you, that was probably a good sign. If she was going to leave right then and there she wouldn’t smile. Right?

“I love you too,” the Swiss woman simply said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  

“Really?” You couldn’t help but ask.

Ana got up and came over to your side of the table. She grabbed your hands, softly pulling you up so you were on eye level.

“Of course I love you. How could I not? I guess we still have some work to do until you see yourself the way I see you, as such an amazing, good-hearted, beautiful person,” she told you earnestly.

“I really love you.” It was the only thing that came to mind, Ana’s compliments once again overwhelming you.

“That’s good because I really love you too,” the blonde replied with a chuckle, gathering you into her arms. “And I won’t rest until you love yourself too , exactly the way that you deserve.”

You just snuggled even closer into Ana, a deep calmness filling you up from head to toe. It wasn’t something you were used to, usually there was always some anxiety running in the background. However, the blonde brought you so much peace.

It was something you had never expected before you experienced it yourself. You had always thought love would be all excited butterflies and exuberance. There was some of that of course, but also this all-encompassing calmness, that was in many ways even better than all of the excitement.

[serasfanfiction]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3| Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15

"Lucy!"

Lucifer braced himself. Even with the preparation, Beelzebub hit him like a ton of bricks. He wrapped his arms around her neck, his wings coming out as she lifted them both off the ground and spun them around.

"You're here," she exclaimed, squeezing him tight enough that he could feel his ribs protesting. "You have missed so many parties! I thought we'd never see you again."

Lucifer giggled as her fur tickled his neck as she nuzzled his cheek. "Hiya, Bee." He instinctively tried to protect his neck from the cold, wet feeling of her nose as she snuffled his hair. "I, uh, had some things to work through."

Beelzebub bared her teeth, growling low in her chest. "I still can't believe she left! What a bitch!"

Lucifer wilted, Lilith's leaving a raw enough wound that all mentions of it making him want curl up and cry.

His sister paused, gauging his response. She brought them down to the ground, her hold turning into something more gentle. "I'm sorry, Lucy." She gave him a jostle. "You totally deserved better."

Lucifer didn't believe that for a moment, but he didn't want to spoil the mood anymore than he already had. Over his head, his siblings shared a glance. He hated they looked so worried, even as it soothed something along the jagged edges of his self-loathing.

"It's fine." It wasn't, but he was thoroughly subscribing to the delusion that if he said it enough times, it might make it true.

"You can talk to us if you need to." Beelzebub gave him another squeeze, almost as tight as the previous one. "You may be our big brother, but we're still your siblings."

Lucifer blinked, his eyes stinging. He looked up over the mass of her colorful hair to see Asmodeus watching them. It went without saying that the offer was extended from him as well. Lucifer couldn't bring himself to nod. The promise would feel disingenuous, as he was unsure if he was in a place to ever take them up on them offer. Sadness flickered across Asmodeus's face, knowing him too well.

Beelzebub seemed to understand as well. She pulled away, giving his shoulders one last squeeze before she let him go. She turned her sights on the sinner in the room, floating over to get a better view of him. By the time Lucifer was sure he'd blinked away any incriminating evidence of his emotional slip and was certain it was safe to turn around, Beelzebub had already reached her target.

"And who is this cute dear?" It was difficult to determine if she was using the endearment or the animal species name. With her, it could be either. She made a circuit around Alastor, coming up and over his head to hover at eye level with him. "Is this the guy you were talking about?"

Lucifer sputtered, dismayed. "Wait, what?" He spun around on Asmodeus, pointing at him. "When did you even talk about this? I heard that phone call!" It had done right in front of him! How did he miss that?

Fizzarolli held up his phone to show a series of text messages he couldn't read from this distance but could guess at their content. Judging from the smirk on his lover's face, it wasn't hard who had told him to do it.

Traitor! The whole lot of them!

Alastor turned on the charm, although unlike with Asmodeus and Fizz, it appeared to be at least somewhat genuine in this case. "Please, call me Alastor. It's a pleasure to meet you, your highness." If he was irritated with her fluttering around him, he didn't let it show. "From what I've heard, the famous Queen Bee's parties sound like all the rage!"

Beelzebub placed a finger to her chin, squinting her eyes as if racking her brain. "Alastor?" She said the name slowly, considering. She set herself down on the ground, studying him intently. Lucifer noted she had shrunk down in size to match the sinner's height. "The radio host?"

The redhead's demeanor became more amicable, his ego stroked, confirming jovially, "Why yes! It's an honor to hear someone such as yourself has heard of my show." He shot Lucifer a smug look, which in turn earned him a renewed glare.

The Sin of Gluttony waved her fingers at him. "I'm always looking for new music to play during parties." She danced to an imaginary beat, swaying her hips and doing a little twirl. She pointed in his general direction as she spun back around. "You've got good taste in music, if a little out of date."

Alastor wasn't offended by her critique, likely having heard it before. Perhaps emboldened by her positive engagement with him, he offered one of his own, "Perhaps, but music today sounds so..." He paused, searching for the right word. After a moments debate, he settle reluctantly on, "Repetitive."

From out of nowhere, a short clip of music played, emanating from Alastor's direction. The clip was followed by another clip, from a different song, and then a third one. They were all obviously different songs, but they did all sound remarkable the same.

"Wait." Beelzebub's eyes had widened. Alastor paused his flipping through channels on a random song. A male singer with the kind of voice that could make anyone swoon was singing about how he took his whiskey and coffee and how the subject of the song was 'too sweet' for him. She gave Alastor another circle around. "You can generate music yourself?" She clasped her hands together in delight.

The redhead cut off the music, amused by her response. He clarified, "I can act like a radio, my dear. I sadly can't produce music out of nowhere."

Beelzebub threw her older brother a grin over her shoulder. "Lucy, you don't mind if I steal your partner later, do you?"

Lucifer, who had been watching all of this with stiffly crossed arms and an ever darkening glare, scoffed. He just knew this was going to become an issue and already could see the headlines come the next morning. "He's not my anything, Bee. Really."

To Alastor's discernment, Beelzebub sniffed the air far too close to the sinner for her to be doing anything other than catching his scent. Vindictively, Lucifer couldn't help but smirk and think to himself that, yeah, it's not as much fun when someone does it to him, was it? Little taste of his own medicine.

Then she asked, "Then why is his scent all over you?"

Lucifer's hands flew to his hair, belatedly realizing how telling the movement was. He didn't care. What the hell? He'd not only cleaned up last night with magic, he'd even gone for a shower out of the desperate need to swath himself in the comforting smells of his favorite shampoo and body wash. Nothing of Alastor should have remained.

Alastor had that pleased as punch grin on his insufferable, punchable face.

Lucifer hissed like the snake everyone called him, angerly pointing a finger at the asshole. "Take him! I don't want him!"

"Now now, your Majesty, what would Charlie do without her business partner?" Alastor's tone was all sunshine and roses, as if anyone would believe that for an instant.

Behind him, Lucifer heard Fizzarolli whispering to Ozzie, almost (but not quite) too soft him to hear, "Stealing his daughter's business partner? That's ballsy."

Lucifer must have looked one wrong move away from setting the whole building on fire because Beelzebub came floating over to him, saying, "Lucy, why don't we get you that new top?" She placed her hands on his shoulders and directed him out of sight of the main source of all his current woes. "I've always wanted to try some outfits with you!"

"It still needs to be formal," he said, imagining all the outfits she'd worn over the years. They always managed to be both with the times while also being on the cutting edge of what was appropriate.

She pinched his cheek. "Yes, yes, because you're somehow covering up more rather than less." She didn't ask nor did she attempt to find out why. He was ridiculously grateful for it. She produced a slew of garments from her own personal subspace dimension.

Lucifer tried not to sweat over the sheer quantity of them.

Alastor hadn't been wrong when he'd said they had time before the main event, but they didn't have enough for the quantity Beelzebub had brought. Lucifer was able to eliminate roughly half based on the fact they they did fit his aesthetic. His sister didn't look surprised by the choices he outright eliminated, leading him to believe they were there simply because she would have found enjoyment out of seeing him wearing them.

He held up one top from his remaining pile. It was a two-piece top, consisting of a fancy button-up shirt with poofy sleeves and a sleeveless waistcoat that could be laced up at the waist for a more form-fitting look. It wasn't bad, he was so going to steal it for a later day, but there was something... boyish about it. He eyed his sister. "Are you trying to tell me something?" He shook the garment for emphasis.

Beelzebub wasn't even trying to look sheepish. "Only that you'd look adorable in it!"

No one had called him adorable since he'd still had an unbroken halo and a full set of white wings. To his face, anyway. "You do remember I'm not a doll for you to play dress up with, right?"

She picked up a top with a similar vibe to it. "But you're as pretty as one, so how could I resist?"

Alastor looked like he'd swallowed a lemon or one of Asmodeus's more phallic candies. Lucifer filed that thought away for another time.

He sent the top away to his wardrobe in his room at the hotel with a small spark of magic the moment Beelzebub wasn't looking. Listening to the conversations going on around him with only half an ear, he snagged another potential choice, only to toss it aside almost immediately. A knock at the door brought an issue for Asmodeus and Fizzarolli, calling them away with the promise they'd be back shortly.

Beelzebub and Alastor became engaged in a discussion about music, not quite arguing which time period was better. Beelzebub had all of human history to pull from, but it was quickly established she preferred anything someone could dance to.

Alastor had a soft spot for Jazz, as it was the music that followed him throughout his early adult years to the end of his life. He admitted to liking some of the music that evolved from Jazz, such as swing music.

He was down to the final two potential choices - a toss up between a very high neck coat that flared in the sleeves and a more form fitting, corseted, button up tailcoat - when he heard Beelzebub's delighted exclamation of: "You can tune into Earth stations? Have you heard of XM radio?"

The seraphim blinked up at them, as Alastor responded with, "But of course, your highness! Everyone loves a radio station without commercials!"

Lucifer wondered at the full extent of Alastor's reach. Hell was supposed to be cut off from Earth and Heaven, save for specific circumstances. It was one thing to use a crystal or spell to open a portal to Earth. To walk in the dreams of humans as they slept to communicate and influence them. It was another thing entirely to actively reach through that barrier as if it wasn't there to begin with, tuning into any radio station on Earth. Something Alastor could apparently do with ease, as demonstrated by the sound of dance music, something heavily remixed, filling the air.

Beelzebub made a noise that could only be called a squeal, her fingers twitching like she was ready to make off with the sinner the first chance she got.

So distracted by the display, Lucifer didn't immediately notice that one of his hands were empty. Fingers flexing around air, he narrowed his eyes when he found the tailcoat in the grasp of one of Alastor's shadows.

"You were taking so long to choose, your Majesty," Alastor explained innocently. "I thought I might help you choose."

Feeling spiteful, Lucifer snapped the fingers of his free hand, simultaneously sending the coat with the flared sleeves away to his wardrobe while replacing his cashmere roll neck with the tailcoat.

Alastor, the little shit, merely smirked at him. Lucifer didn't like the fact that he couldn't tell if he had done exactly what the sinner had wanted him to do or not.

The doors to the office opened, signaling the return of Asmodeus and Fizzarolli. Both of their shoulders slumped in relief when the door closed firmly behind them.

"Someone blow something up again?" Beelzebub asked, sympathetically.

"I swear, this group can't go one day without blowing something up!" Asmodeus sighed, deep and long suffering. "They didn't even have the excuse of it being a prototype."

Both of his siblings made consoling hums at him. Asmodeus' attention turned to his older brother, a smile breaking out on his face when he saw Lucifer had changed clothes. "Lucy! Marvelous choice!" He paused, tilting his head. "Not really the colors I would expect from you."

That was mostly because Lucifer hadn't had a chance to fiddle with it. He smiled back, waving a hand over the top. The original coat had been forest green, with black buckles, and silver buttons. Forest green bleed out into pure white. The corset center of the coat was now his favored pink, while the buttons and buckles took on a shiny golden hue. He pondered the length of the tail, unsure if he found it too long or not. Deciding to leave it for now, he conjured his hat and cane from his room, topping off his outfit as he placed his crown on his head.

Feeling more himself, despite the change in wardrobe, he grinned. "What do you think?"

Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Fizzarolli all gave approving thumbs up.

Alastor gave him a once over, smirking and unimpressed. "I suppose it's a little better than that ringleader ensemble you're so obsessed with."

Lucifer's eyebrow twitched, stalking over to the sinner. "You're on thin ice, bitch," he said saccharine sweet through gritted teeth.

Alastor watched him approach, his smirk a challenge.

Lucifer met it with one of his own. "Now I think it's your turn for a make over." He gave the sinner a lazy once over, pointedly lingering on the tattered ends of the redhead's coat. "Can't have my date in anything other than the best."

Alastor's expression darkened, almost imperceptivity. "I can't say I know what you mean, your Majesty. I always look my best." This last part was said with the undertone of a warning, not for an agreement, but to back off.

Lucifer considered the response. If anyone could recognize someone's pride having been slighted, it was the Sin of Pride himself. Alastor's pride had been poked at, but the seraphim wasn't immediately certain why. The sinner did indeed dress to impress every day, the haircut and the tattered ends of his coat too out of place not to be anything other than deliberate. So why was he upset?

The answer came from the depths he liked to keep the memories he acquired from reading one of his people's sins: the foundation of Alastor's public persona was one large middle finger to a world that had held him to a higher standard than everyone else around him, and yet, had still found him wanting at the end of the day. It was as much a defense as a way to gain a leg up against the people in power around him.

Lucifer took a step back, lessening the pressure of his approach. He asked, "Do you have anything for a formal occasion?"

A little of the tension left Alastor's stance, now that he didn't feel that he was potentially going to be accosted. "Events in Hell don't usually require a more ...formal dress attire." In other words: sinners dressed however they were going to dress and that was that. One was lucky if they chose to get dressed at all.

Still leaving all the choice in the redhead's court, the blond asked, "Can I make you a tuxedo? If you don't like it, I'll change it back." He paused, before tacking on, "I promise." It wasn't a formal deal, but he tried to keep his promises where he could.

Alastor seemed to be weighing his options, his fingers tapping against the top of his microphone. He could chose to take the offer or he could chose to go as he was, nothing more nothing less. The sinner approached on his own, pacing around his king, his gaze equal parts considering and lost in thought. "Something in my current colors," he finally responded. "If I don't like it, you change it."

Lucifer chose to be pleased that he was being given access to Alastor's person. When the redhead came to a stop in front of him, he raised his hand, keeping it in eye sight the whole time. Alastor picked up on his caution, something fond taking root in his expression. The moment Lucifer's fingers touched the helm of Alastor's sleeve, a golden flame sparked into existence.

Pure creation magic spread like a wave across the red suit, transforming it as it went along. Pin stripes were replaced by red wool of the same color, fine black thread woven into the fabric to cast the illusion that the fabric was darker from some angles. The lapels of the coat were folded back to reveal a completely black interior. A vest and pair of pants of similar design took shape. Underneath the vest, a pure white button up shirt stood out, bright and stark against the otherwise darker colors. The only thing Lucifer hadn't touched was Alastor's black bow tie.

He tiled his head, feeling there was something missing. An idea, born of random inspiration and the desire to uphold his promise to his daughter, took shape in Lucifer's mind. In one hand, a flame of creation magic appeared, raw and undirected. In the other, he formed a flame of pure hellfire. Holding the idea in his mind, he slammed his palms together. The two flames intermingled, eating at each other as they fought to either consume or transform the other. Lucifer bent the two forces to his will, forcing them to come together and take on the shape he desired: something wholly new.

When he opened his hands, sitting on his palms was a gem, one of a kind. As it tilted, the surface reflected back at him like black glass, until it settled to reveal a light within it, gleaming of hellfire. If one were to blow out all of the blue flames that lit the office, the gem would continue to give off a glow of its own. Most importantly, woven into the very fabric of the gem were powerful protection spells, ones that would protect the wearer from someone as strong as the Sins of the Goetia. It might even protect them from an archangel, although not for long.

If Alastor had been wearing this during the previous extermination, it would have likely given Adam a moment's pause. More than enough for the sinner to escape unscathed. Not that Alastor would have run, but still.

The sinner in question eyed the gem as the Devil raised it to his bowtie, securing it in place. Alastor shouldn't have the power necessary to tell what it really was. Some of the Goetia might. Anyone of them that did would know what kind of statement he was making by placing it there. It was a more physical reminder that this sinner was under his protection and he wouldn't take kindly to anyone trying to kill him.

Asmodeus and Beelzebub could tell what it was. The former was silently laughing at him, while the latter covered her mouth to hide her grin, for all the good it did.

Lucifer ignored them. He was merely keeping his promise, nothing more.

Alastor tapped the gem, the chime unlike anything he'd ever heard before. His hand traveled down his sleeve. "Wool?" There was a slight crease to his brows, unsure with the assessment.

Lucifer didn't have the slightest clue how he could tell, since the redhead was still wearing his gloves. Was Alastor pressing the cloth into his arms and could tell that way? The blonde took a step back, nodding. "Yes, vicuña wool, to be exact."

The sinner went still, his ears ramrod straight. "Vicuña wool?" His eyes were boring right into Lucifer's, something heavy in his gaze.

The blond found it difficult to tell if the reaction was a good one or a bad one. He'd chosen it because humans seemed to place great value on the wool for it's rareness and the quality of the fabric it produced. Once only for kings, only the wealthy could afford more than one garment. He largely only knew this because Asmodeus was a fan of the fabric and had raved about it on the odd occasion.

Lucifer waggled his eyebrows. "I said I'd dress you in the best, did I not?" He still felt there was something missing, not from Alastor's outfit this time, but his own. Hand aglow with his magic, he met the redhead's gaze and held it as he ran his hand down the center of the tailcoat, transforming the pink section into red.

The same red as Alastor's favored suit and current tuxedo.

The sinner huffed, the brewing conflict passing for something more possessive. He raised a hand, a single claw tapping the fabric that hid the mark he'd left. "Isn't matching color schemes as much a statement as this would have been?" His expression stated he thought Lucifer was a ridiculous creature, but he was bemused regardless.

Lucifer caught his wrist, holding on long enough to pull it away. "Didn't agree to be your property," he repeated, teeth bared in light warning.

Alastor wasn't affected, as always.

They were both startled by the loud clapping of someone's hands. All heads turned to Beelzebub, who was grinning brightly at them all. "Alright! Fashion crisis averted!" She slung her arm around her older brother's shoulders in a hug, squeezing tightly before releasing him just as quickly. "I will see all of you at the party! Got to get ready myself and then pick up the boyfriend and girlfriend!!"

She portalled out of the room before anyone could get any remark out. Lucifer mouthed 'boyfriend and girlfriend,' bewildered as to when that had happened.

Fizzarolli blinked after her. "Do you think she's going to bring anything fun with her?"

Asmodeus gave him a very light push, little more than a nudge. "Fizzy! We do not want everyone to get black out drunk in the first hour!"

The imp gave his partner a deadpan look. "Just because they can't hold their liquor doesn't mean the rest of us have to suffer."

Asmodeus chuckled as he made his way over to Alastor and Lucifer. "Lucy, brother, would you make a portal to our home?" He pulled out his cellphone. "By the time the limo arrives, we should be ready."

Fizzarolli snorted. "Speak for yourself." He dramatically pressed a hand to his forehead, demonstrating his flexibility as he swooned backwards over his partner's shoulder. "Some of us have to put a little effort into it to be this beautiful."

"Aw, Fizzy, baby, you look amazing no matter what you wear." Asmodeus followed this statement up by running a finger along the underside of the imp's chin, causing Fizzarolli to giggle.

Being the sin of Pride, Lucifer could sense the dual war in his little brother's chosen partner. Fizzarolli did indeed have his pride, he couldn't be a performer of his caliber without it. He knew his talent and his worth, but underneath it lay a wound so deep it threatened to overwhelm all of it. Asmodeus' words were an ongoing healing balm, like cool, clean water over a burn.

It was... sweet.

Lucifer swallowed the envy he felt watching them, missing the warmth that came from a loving relationship. Love looked good on Asmodeus and Fizzarolli was certainly flourishing from it as well.

He opened the portal, tempted to make a comment about them just using his own limo. It was practically Charlie's at this point for all that he ever used it. When one could just teleport or portal or simply fly to their destination, why wait to drive there? The suggestion died in his throat as Asmodeus passed him, pushing him along with them. The weight of his hand was heavy, as if he could keep his older brother there with him just by holding on to him.

Lucifer supposed he could stick around a little longer and ride with them. Leave the public guessing when he was going to pop up and from where.

He glanced over his shoulder to make certain Alastor was still with them. The sinner was stepping through the portal, taking in the new room they had travelled to. There wasn't anywhere truly 'safe' to jump to unannounced, if Asmodeus was at home, but he usually kept high traffic, potentially public areas clean of anything suggestible if he was going to work. Lucifer chose the kitchen because it was as safe as anywhere else, and he and Alastor would be able to get any snacks or drinks for themselves while they waited.

Not that Alastor was likely to have much of an appetite after his indulgence the day before.

It pleased Lucifer on a petty, vindictive level to see the taller figure in this particular setting. Everything was set up to be a comfortable height for someone as tall as Asmodeus. The counter tops likely were too tall for Fizzarolli to see over, if he never took advantage of his stretchy limbs to add on some height. Alastor's head and shoulders might clear the countertops, but there was no way he was reaching any of the top shelves without going full eldritch demon or without the assistance of his shadows.

What did the foot the redhead have on him matter when they were all lacking in height in this setting?

Lucifer closed the portal behind the sinner. Asmodeus and Fizzarolli wandered off deeper into the dwelling with the former telling them to "Make yourselves at home!" as they went off, likely to their bedroom. The king listened to their voices for as long as he could, keeping a watchful eye out as Alastor explored the new space.

He smirked upon seeing the exact moment the sinner realized the tips of his ears weren't on level with the bottom of the cabinets, the sinner lazily blinking at them like he found their placement ridiculous. He might have asked if Alastor needed any assistance, if not for the fact that even he could tell that would be walking right into a short joke. Instead, he simply conjured a pair of glasses as he settled in at the table taking up the center of the kitchen. "Care for anything to drink while we wait?" He filled his own with juice, waving the second empty one in invitation.

Alastor peered over at him from where he had moved on to inspecting a potted floral arrangement made up of one Lust Ring's indigenous flora, a plant with blue leaves tipped with purple. His eyes tracked the movement of the glass. "Wouldn't cake be more beneficial in this instance, sire?" His grin extended from ear to ear, teeth alight from within. "Wouldn't want to get any shorter, now would we?"

The reference almost went over his head. Of course he'd somehow find a way to throw in a short joke. Lucifer leaned an elbow on the table, crossing his legs. "Please, I'm hardly the white rabbit." He placed the glass on table. Alastor could take it or leave it. "And you're certainly no Alice."

Alastor abandoned the plant in favor of stalking over to Lucifer and the table. He tapped the lip of the glass, and then abandoned as just as uninteresting as the plant. The floor to ceiling window on the other side of the kitchen, however, seemed to catch his interest. "No," he agreed. Moving as if entranced, he made his way over to it. "I've always thought the Cheshire Cat suited be better."

He was certainly as annoying one, anyway.

Lucifer could only guess how different the blues and pinks of the Lust Ring must look after nearly a hundred years of the constant red of the Pride Ring. The radio host, in his own shades of red and black, stood out like a sore thumb, almost like a reminder of which of the rings he belonged to. His ears were completely forward, intent on catching the soft patter of the rain against the glass.

"Would his Majesty be willing to answer a little question?" Alastor met his gaze through his reflection against the glass.

Lucifer swirled his juice. His first impulse was to put stipulations on the exchange. Milking information out of the sinner usually cost something, why shouldn't getting information from the Devil cost the same? But Lucifer didn't have the energy to stoop to the sinner's level at the moment, so he decided to go with generous. "Depends on the question."

To a point.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't for Alastor to ask, "Does it always rain in the Lust Ring?"

"Yes?" Lucifer was more than a little baffled over why such a thing might interest Alastor, until he remembered that the only rain in the Pride Ring was acid rain. It tainted the water until the only safe sources were those kept safe from any access to the open sky. Anyone unlucky enough to be out in it would likely receive some nasty burns. "Oh, it's not acid rain. Only the Pride Ring has acid rain." The Greed Ring was certainly working it's way towards it, though.

Black tipped, red ears twisted 90 degrees around, Alastor being more focused on the little king than the rain. "And what makes the Pride Ring so special?"

The blonde gave a low grumble of disapproval. "Seems like you have more than one question."

Alastor pointed the head of his staff out into the room, circling it around to showcase it's emptiness. "Would you prefer I poke around your little brother's kitchen to pass the time?" His tone suggested he would absolutely make sure to mess with something, just to be a nuisance.

Lucifer had half a mind to let him do it, just to see what would happen if he did. He sighed, put upon by choices that had led him to babysitting a sinner in his little brother's home. "Hell didn't look much like anything when we got here." He put his drink down, loosing all interest in it. "It wasn't originally meant to be our prison. It was just convenient to throw us into it."

It had been decided from the moment Eve had bitten into the apple that anyone who allowed themselves to be consumed by the Root of All Evil's influences would be tossed down to join her in her prison. Foreseeing it would get bad, God had decided that Lucifer's punishment was to be trapped with the worst of the worst, forced to watch all the ways his decision had gone terribly wrong.

"When my siblings and I recovered, we joined our powers together to create the other rings." He nodded to the window, more a nod to the Rings as a whole than just Lust in general. "Lilith and I stayed in Pride. She wanted to be with her people." He paused. Amended, albeit grudgingly, "Our people. My siblings each headed south and claimed a ring for themselves."

He was a bit fuzzy on the early details following their arrival in Hell. Lucifer had been terribly injured in the fight leading up to their imprisonment, and then further injured protecting Lilith from the Fall. His siblings, each dealing with their own injuries, hadn't been able to lend a helping hand. The moment Lucifer had been recovered enough to help with making their new home more comfortable, he'd proceeded to push too hard, too fast, creating the Seven Rings all at once rather than one at a time. They had tried to warn him to take it easy, to slow down, but he had been desperate to do something right by his family. Even with the added help of his siblings' power, he'd gone down hard.

By the time he regained consciousness, the first sinners had already begun to arrive and his siblings had already moved into their respective rings. Everything had been decided with very little impute from him. Considering how exhausted he'd been, both physically and emotionally, it had been easier to go with the flow. He hadn't cared either way, to be brutally honest about it.

Alastor looked like he could tell there was more to that story, but let it go. "And the Hellborn?"

Lucifer shrugged. "They were already here when we got here." Belphegor had speculated that the Hellborn were Roo's response to humanity, but she hadn't been able to prove it. As time passed, the natural flora and fauna of Hell had evolved and expanded exponentially with the introduction of different environments, until there were multiple different species of both. Earth evolved slowly over time, but Hell evolved in leaps and bounds. "We did start getting different types over time, though."

"And human's being delegated to the Pride Ring?" There was something about the tone that suggested that this had been the question Alastor had been working up to all along.

The blonde pushed back from the table, rising to his feet. He came over to stand behind his date for the night, just to the side enough to see out the window. "An agreement between Lilith and my siblings." He tapped the apple end of his cane against his chin. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Mostly to keep down the fighting between the Hellborn and the sinners. Humans were innovative creatures and putting the worse of the worse in one place together was always going to be a recipe for disaster. The Hellborn hadn't stood a chance. Now the sinners fought primarily with themselves, while the Hellborn lived lives as varied as humans did on Earth.

Alastor fell silent. For a while, they simply stood listening to the rain, lost in their own thoughts. Lucifer thought he might be content to mull over the new information he had received, when he broke the silence to ask, "The acid rain?"

"A present from Heaven." From behind them, Asmodeus answered before his brother could, his voice an unhappy rumble. Alastor turned to face the sin, while Lucifer left his back to his little brother. Asmodeus approached, setting his hand on Lucifer's shoulder. His hand was large enough it encompassed the blonde's shoulder and the upper part of his back. "Michael thought Lucy's kingdom was looking too nice."

"A nice way of saying Michael was still angry at me." Lucifer internally grimaced at the memory of his twin's face, distorted in anger, at the way Lilith was thriving. That Lucifer wasn't doing anything to curb it. As if he ever would. "He thought making Hell more difficult to survive would curb everyone's spirits." He snorted. "Jokes on him, because they only infected the Pride Ring and humanity is... stubborn."

It was an admirable quality, even if it often got them into trouble. It was something Lucifer could relate to.

Lucifer shook off the thoughts before they dragged him down into too much of a melancholic mood. He already had to deal with the public and it wouldn't do if he couldn't even last more than an hour with them. He stepped away, turning as he did so that he could get a look at his brother. Asmodeus had changed into a suit similar to his usual one. The colors were more vibrant and he had added a business coat over it.

Fizzarolli, notably, wasn't on his shoulder.

Noticing where Lucifer was looking, Asmodeus laughed. "Fizzy needs a little more time." He began to usher his older brother towards the door, Alastor following of his own violation least the sin decide to get the idea of getting handsy with him. "It's his first time out in public since giving Mammon the literal finger and he wants to put on his best." As they neared the main entrance to Asmodeus' home, the sin called out towards the bedroom, "Fizzy Frog! Babe! You picked out your outfit a week ago!"

From the bedroom came the shout of, "But Ozzie! It needs to be perfect!" Fizzarolli appeared a moment later. The imp was wearing a white laced jester styled outfit, fitted with a laced up bodice that was black on one side and red on the other. His hat matched his bodice, with the colors switched, while being white underneath. Similarly, the hearts adorning his shoulders and forehead alternated the red and black pattern. "I need to look badass."

Asmodeus could move fast for someone his height, when he wanted to. He cleared the room in nearly two strides, picking his partner up. "Fizz, you look amazing. No one is going to say other wise."

Fizzarolli didn't appear completely convinced. "I just don't want anyone to talk shit about you if I don't."

He received a pat to the nose with a single finger and a no nonsense tone from Asmodeus, "The only person you need to impress at this event is yourself." The blue and pink sin hugged him close. "No one else's opinions matter."

Fizzarolli took a deep breathe, his anxiety visibly calming. "You're right!" He grinned, his whole expression lighting up. "And if they don't like me, who cares? Because I don't need them!"

Asmodeus beamed at him. "Exactly!" He made his way over, ready to shuffle everyone out the door. "Now where is that limo?"

Right on cue, a horn blasted outside.

Lucifer allowed himself to be shuffled outside, casting a glance at Alastor as the human-turned-demon got his first feel of normal rain since he'd died. The sinner held out a hand, cupped it to catch the water. Nostalgia softened the sharp edges of his smile into a more real one. Lucifer turned away when Alastor stepped out fully, tilting his head back to enjoy the feel of the rain on his face.

Lucifer refused to admit that Alastor was actually kind of handsome, when he was being honest with himself and the world.

The ride through Lust and then up to Pride was filled with small talk and blessedly uneventful. Lucifer, Asmodeus, and Fizzarolli had all been through the various ways to travel the Rings, so they were more interested in their conversation than the sights. Having never left the Pride Ring before, Alastor was more absorbed with the sights than their attempts to include him. He gave off the distinct impression that even if the sights hadn't been more interesting, he likely wouldn't have engaged with them anyway.

Lucifer could feel the uptick in his nerves as they entered the Pride Ring and the closer they got to Stolas' manor. The crowd of people outside, wanting to catch any glimpse of Hell's royals were lined up a mile away, all climbing over each other on the slimmest chance they would catch a glimpse of someone. The paparazzi had managed to secure the area closest to the drop off point, ensuring they would get the first photographs of the arriving guests.

A weight settled on the nap of his neck, the prick of one of Alastor's claws just above his high collar stealing Lucifer's attention before he could begin to spiral and reminding him that he wasn't alone. The mix of gratefulness and frustration was a heady feeling in his gut, even as he leaned subtly back into that hand.

The wait until it was their turn to disembark was both far too short and far too long. A portion of the crowd was especially intent on following Asmodeus' limo, the reason made all too easy to sus out.

Lucifer squinted at the signs, pointing at a particularly graphic one. "Are those... fans?"

Fizzarolli was a equal mix of put upon and repulsed. "Yeah, Mammon isn't very big on keeping boundaries between his cash cows and the... fans."

Visible through the crowd, the same fan - fanatic, rather - proceeded to do something extremely lude and inappropriate with what appeared to be a doll version of the jester.

Heaven was very dull and boring, Lucifer would never tell anyone otherwise, but he sure did miss it at times like this.

tbc

[choicesficwriterscreations]

June Creator of the Month: Thosehallowedhalls

Please welcome this month’s Creator of the Month is @thosehallowedhalls.

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists. The writer or artist is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I can't remember exactly. 2021, I think? Laws of Attraction was on its tenth chapter.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined in January of this year. I was upset with Crimes of Passion 2, so I wrote a couple of stories about it. I had deactivated my old Tumblr long ago, so I had to open a new one.

3- How did you pick your blog name?

I love old buildings - the history, the ambiance. I tried hallowedhalls, but it was taken, so I added the article.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

I… have zero recollection of this post. But I'm big on nostalgia and mourning past times, so the fact that this was my first post tracks.

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both?

I write fanfiction. I've been teaching myself to draw, but I'm not anywhere near close to sharing what I do.

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

I started writing fanfiction way back in… 2010? For about four or five years. Then I stopped until December 2023.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Crimes of Passion on both counts.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

That would be The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm, inspired by The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. I do still like it, but I would tighten up the writing a bit. I had barely written any fiction for several years at that point, and the lack of practice shows.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created?

I keep going back and forth between The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm and Home Without. Both are angsty short series.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I was taken aback by the comments on The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm. I'd posted it on AO3 a few weeks before, and had gotten a handful of kudos and one comment, but within 24 hours of posting it here, I had several lovely reblogs. It was a welcome surprise. Stories with fewer comments… I guess Home Without. The first chapter got quite a bit of love, but by the time the final chapter rolled around, fewer people were interacting.

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I love a balance, but I'd say angst with a happy ending. I enjoy the breadth of emotions angst lets you explore.

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

There are bits and pieces of me in all of them. Emma has my sarcasm, and Raine has my need to look for the best in people. There may be more, but if so, it wasn't done intentionally.

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Perfectionism. Like I said before, the lack of writing practice shows. I know that the only way to get better is to keep writing, but I hate seeing the gap between what I do and what I want to do. Catch-22.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

My Sebastyan x Emma fic, Of Cloudless Climes and Starry Skies. There are only a couple of chapters left, but I've been struggling with it for a couple of months now.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first?

Oh, hell no.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

So many writers have influenced my writing throughout the years, including authors I do not currently read. The Brontë sisters, Charles Dickens, Nora Roberts, Jane Austen, Courtney Milan, Alyssa Cole… I could go on and on. Fanfic writers… There are a lot, but off the top of my head, @inlocusmads, @coffeewithcutcaffeine, @gaiuskamilah, @aria-ashryver, @jerzwriter, @dutifullynuttywitch, @aces-and-angels, @petalouda85, and @storyofmychoices. I know there are more.

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Home Without. I'm a sucker for good pining, and I'd love to see all that mutual longing play out onscreen - not to mention that reunion.

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art?

I do. I'm currently working on a horror short story, a MG novel, and a dual timeline mystery that's still in the research stages.

19- What other hobbies do you have?

Reading, non-fandom writing, drawing, learning new things (especially languages!), going on walks, and drinking enough coffee to alarm medical professionals anywhere.

[king-bumis-armpit]

A Dirty Chai and a Black Tea with Cardamom, Part 1

A Maiko Modern AU

Summary: In Ty Lee’s quest for her crush of the week, a cute blue-eyed barista at the local tea shop, Mai stumbles into a new college friend group. But it’s not all bad. That one grumpy guy is actually kinda cute…

Author's Note: This idea was gifted to me by the lovely @cowpoopies !! I’m pretty sure you were the first person to respond to my call for prompts, which was really encouraging!! Thank you so super duper much!!

And thank you to whoever’s reading this. Whether you interact or not, I love you and I hope you’re doing well <3

I made Mai very, veeeeery oblivious here, lol. My depressing in-story explanation is that her mother ruined her self-esteem. The real reason is that I like Mai and Zuko being super duper awkward and then pining for long periods of time. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Part 2 of 2 will be out sometime next week hopefully. 

WC: 5,010

Mai yawned. It was seven in the morning. An absolutely ungodly hour to be functioning in the world. Her roommate had dragged her out of bed at 6:30 and coerced her into getting ready for the day. They were now on their way to acquire caffeine, passing brick house after brick house on the path out of campus and onto Main St. “Remind me why I’m awake right now?”

Ty Lee giggled. The piercing noise reverberated in the suburbs of the quaint town. Mai longed to put in her airpods and drown it all out with music. “I’ve told you like a million times. We need to see the cute barista at the tea shop!”

“And I need to be there because…” she drawled.

“You are going to demonstrate that I have friends and I’m not a murderer. It’s like the mandatory group pic on a dating profile that shows you have social skills,” Ty Lee explained. 

“Right.” Mai knew that arguing was futile. At the very least, she could get a headstart on her Judicial Politics paper. Or she could do her Research Methods lab of the week. Or start studying for her Philosophy of Law exam. Ugh! Time to stop thinking about school. As the houses abruptly became parking lots and store fronts, Mai asked, “So, which crush is this? The girl with the pretty hair, the boy with the blue eyes, or the mohawk guy.”

“Blue eyes! He’s so dreamy,” Ty Lee did a twirl as she walked. “He wears his hair in a ponytail and he makes the funniest jokes. You can’t miss him!”

“And does he have a name?”

“Probably.” Ty Lee skipped ahead and Mai sighed. If Ty Lee didn’t even know this person’s name, then she didn’t see why she was already being called into action as wingwoman. 

They stopped outside of the storefront. Mai was surprised she hadn't noticed the place before. It wasn't far from their dorm building at all, and the warm glow of the lights beckoned her in. The sign on the window read ‘The Jasmine Dragon’. 

Ty Lee walked in first, causing a string of bells on the door to jingle. Mai followed and looked around for their target. The walls were adorned with illustrations of different tea leaves, and Mai recognized a decent number of them from her Aunt Mura’s greenhouse. The inside of the building was much more spacious than Mai would’ve guessed, and housed a number of sage-green tables. The counter was at the back of the shop, likely for the ease of connecting to a storeroom. The menu above the wall housed a wide array of teas and other beverages that sounded intriguing. Mai made a mental note to return at a time when she didn’t feel like death.

Ty Lee was not lying when she said the barista was hot. He was leaning forward on the counter next to the register, cradling his chin in his palm. His eyes were closed, perhaps dozing off. (Mai didn’t blame him one bit.) He had long black hair, but it was not in a ponytail as Ty Lee said it would be. His muscular physique was apparent, even under his t-shirt and apron. Mai was surprised that Ty Lee hadn’t mentioned the nasty scar around his left eye, but she assumed her friend wanted to be polite.

“Excuse me,” Ty Lee said, waking the barista. Mai noted that his eyes weren’t blue after all. He must be the wrong person. “My friend and I were hoping to order.”

He stood up, and glanced between the two of them. He immediately began blushing, and Mai couldn’t help but find it adorable. The poor guy probably had a hopeless crush on Ty Lee, like every other man on the planet, and he had just embarrassed himself by sleeping on the job. Mai hadn’t met Blue-Eyes yet, but so far she was rooting for Drowsy. 

“Umm… Sorry about that. W-what would you like?” he asked. He was looking squarely at Mai, as if Ty Lee didn’t exist. He must be trying to play it cool. Mai wanted to pull him aside and tell him that strategy was never going to work on her friend, but she knew it wasn’t her place.

Ty Lee piped up first, “I’ll take a large vanilla matcha milk tea with tapioca pearls.”

As Drowsy entered her order on the register, a second person appeared from the back.

“Hey! Our first customers of the day. How are you lovely ladies?” This must be Blue-Eyes for sure. He had the signature ponytail and radiant brown skin. Mai couldn’t deny he was attractive. The “lovely ladies” line annoyed her though. 

Ty Lee giggled and batted her eyelashes at him. “My morning is always good when I start my day here.”

Blue-Eyes laughed. “I know Zuko’s customer service isn’t that good. He was sleeping like two seconds ago.”

“I wasn’t!” Zuko demanded, but his vociferous protest did not help his case. He seemed to be fidgeting in his seat.

Blue-Eyes nudged him with his elbow. “Have you even taken their orders yet?”

Zuko nudged him back, harder. “I was before you interrupted!”

Mai took that as her cue. “I’ll have a medium hot dirty chai latte. Her treat.” She pointed at Ty Lee, who smiled brightly.

“I’m a very magnanimous friend.” She pulled out her credit card and passed it to Zuko who cashed them out. 

Blue-Eyes ignored her and focused on Mai. “I never would’ve guessed you were a chai type of girl. You seem like a black coffee person.” Ty Lee pouted.

Mai shrugged, “I don’t want to have to suffer to be caffeinated. Life has enough pain.”

Blue-Eyes laughed. “I feel you. This one time–”

Zuko tapped him on the shoulder. “Sokka, can you help me make the drinks?”

Sokka. So he did have a name. Why did it sound so familiar? And Drowsy– no, Zuko– seemed to be annoyed with him. But maybe that was just how Zuko was. As a fellow grump, Mai appreciated it. 

Mai and Ty Lee found a table while the two men moved around behind the counter getting their drinks and whispering to each other. Mai could only catch snippets but she was pretty sure they were arguing about who should bring their drinks over. 

Ty Lee leaned forward and spoke quietly. “Ugh! I think he’s into you, Mai.”

Mai raised an eyebrow. “Don’t be ridiculous. When in the history of our friendship has that happened? They’re fighting to deliver your tea right now.”

“Hmph!” Ty Lee pulled out a textbook and resolutely ignored her friend. 

Real mature, Mai thought as she pulled out her laptop. She never got annoyed when guys were into Ty Lee. Even hot guys like Zuko. That was like girl code 101.

She pulled up her essay prompt and bit her lip. Justice Own Roberts wrote: “The judicial branch of the Government has only one duty – to lay the article of the Constitution which is invoked beside the statute which is challenged and to decide whether the latter squares with the former.” Does his estimation allow for the justices to exercise their ethical codes? Should the personal ethics of these appointed officials–

“Umm… here’s your tea.” Mai looked up to see Zuko standing over them. Ty Lee had already received her tea, and it seemed to slightly improve her mood.

“Thank you.” Mai accepted her chai and took a deep breath to catch the scent. It smelled nice and strong, just how she liked it. Zuko was still standing over their table, and it seemed he was about to say something more when the door opened.

“Sokka! Tell Toph she can’t drop out of college and become an underground MMA fighter.” Mai recognized the girl, Katara, from a few of her classes. She was followed by Toph, who Mai also knew, and bald guy that Mai had seen around campus.

“No! Tell Sugar Queen here that a college degree is overrated in our fucked economy.”

Mai laughed despite herself, and everyone stopped to look at her.

“Oh, hi Mai!” Katara made her way to stand behind Mai’s chair. “Are you working on Judicial Politics? That essay is killing me.”

Mai nodded. “There is no fathoming the depths of my hatred for that class.”

Sokka made his way from behind the counter. “So do I need to settle the underground fighter dispute or…”

The bald guy shook his head vigorously. “Let’s just hope they forget about it.”

Toph crossed her arms. “We can all hear you. I’m blind, not deaf.”

“Oh!” Something clicked in Mai’s head. “Sokka is your brother, isn’t he? And Suki’s boyfriend.” She shot a meaningful look at Ty Lee.

“That’s right. Are you coming to practice with us later? You can bring your friend,” Katara said. Suki led women’s self-defense courses that Mai, Katara, and Toph all attended. She called her troop the Kyoshi Warriors. Mai thought the name was a bit much, but she enjoyed it all the same.

Mai realized she was in the unique position of knowing more people in a group than her roomate. “This is my best friend, Ty Lee. What do you say? Wanna tag along to Warrior practice later?”

“No, thank you though. I have gymnastics at the same time, remember?”

That was a lie, but Mai nodded along. She had told Ty Lee about Suki in the past, and it seemed that Ty Lee was not in the mood to meet her.

“Well, now that the troops are assembled, I assume you’re all having your usual orders?” Sokka asked. There was a chorus of assent from the newcomers. Sokka grabbed Zuko by the arm to drag him back to work.

“Wait– I haven’t–” Zuko resisted and everyone stopped to look at him. He locked eyes with Mai. “Nevermind.” He allowed himself to be led away. 

“Oh, I get it.” Toph laughed to herself. She must have uncovered his crush on Ty Lee. Despite her lack of eyesight, the woman was alarmingly perceptive.

“Get what?” Katara asked, irritation creeping into her voice. “Secrets don’t make friends.” The two began squabbling and the bald guy extricated himself.

“Hi! I’m Aang. Katara’s boyfriend.” 

“Hi.” Mai replied. She wasn’t sure what to say next. 

“You’re majoring in philosophy and poli sci, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right. What about you?”

“I’m a philosophy major too, but I don’t think we’ve had any classes together.”

“No,” Mai replied.

Katara, seemingly finished with Toph, reappeared. “How are you feeling about Professor Jeong Jeong’s Philosophy of Law midterm?”

Mai sighed. “I’m feeling like Toph has the right idea. After that exam, I might have to find a new career plan.”

Katara nodded sympathetically. “We should study together! You can come over to my place sometime.”

“That would be great! Does Wednesday afternoon work?” There were very few people in her classes that Mai would agree to study with, but Katara was an exception. She was brilliant and always kind. Not to mention, Mai was warming up to her little group of friends.

“That’s perfect! I’ll text you with the details later.” 

Ty Lee perked up. “Mind if I join you guys? I’m not in your class, but I’m more productive when I’m surrounded by others. It focuses my energy.” Mai struggled not to roll her eyes at Ty Lee’s bullshit.

“That’s fine by me! It was nice to meet you!” Katara and Aang left to pick up their drinks.

Ty Lee snapped her book shut, mood buoyed again. “Are you ready to head out?”

Mai stared at her blank Google doc and sighed. It wasn’t a productive morning, but it wasn’t awful to socialize for a change. “Yeah okay.” They gathered their stuff, and Ty Lee tossed her cup in the garbage. Mai had no idea how she chugged it so fast.

As they reached the door, Zuko called out, “Thanks for stopping by!” His hand was raised in an adorably awkward wave. Mai kicked herself. He wasn’t into her. Her mom had made it abundantly clear that guys didn’t like gloomy girls. 

Still, Ty Lee wasn’t giving him the time of day. Mai returned his wave and gave him a small smile before chasing her friend out of the tea shop. 

Ty Lee was already halfway down the block by the time she caught up.

“I think Zuko is way hotter than Sokka! You should go for him. He might be single.”

Ty Lee rolled her eyes. “Oh Mai! He couldn’t take his eyes off you that whole time. You should totally go for it, though.” Mai blushed. “Besides, you got us an invite to Sokka’s house, assuming he lives with his sister.”

“That was why you invited yourself to our study session?” Mai laughed. “What if Katara lives with Aang or has a roommate on campus?”

“Then I’ll say the energy is off and it’s affecting my aura and I’ll leave early,” Ty Lee explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“This is why I don’t believe in auras. You change the rules all the time.”

Ty Lee smirked, “Your aura was much pinker in there than normal. Did that have anything to do with a certain sleepy barista?”

“Oh shut up!” Mai trudged on ahead, hearing Ty Lee’s giggles behind her. 

— — 

As the pretty girl and her friend left, Zuko lowered his hand. Was waving cringy? The way he did it probably was. But the pretty girl had smiled! At him! He wanted that to happen again. The friend had stopped by many times before, but she’d never brought the pretty girl with her. Mai, Zuko remembered. 

His friends had congregated around their normal table in the back with their drinks. Zuko claimed a seat in between Katara and Toph.

“Sooooo, you guys know Mai from class and stuff?”

Katara chuckled, “That was not subtle at all. You like her?”

Toph punched his arm, “Looks like Sugar Queen finally caught on.”

Aang was beaming. “This is so exciting! Zuko’s never had a crush before!”

Zuko’s jaw dropped. “Yes I have! You all only met me two years ago. What are you talking about?”

Sokka cut him off, “Well this is the first time you’ve called dibs.”

Katara’s eyebrow twitched. “Eww! You two have a system for calling dibs on ogling your female customers!”

“Hey!” Sokka protested. “It works on all customers regardless of gender. And it’s a tried and true hand signal.” He made a series of complicated movements that Zuko had memorized only through seeing them many, many times before Sokka met Suki. 

Katara glared at her brother. “That’s still objectifying and degrading. Besides, you have a girlfriend!”

“And I love her! I haven’t ogled anyone since we started dating. Zuko was the one who called dibs anyway.”

Zuko sighed. “I thought you could help me out. But I think she was clearly just more into you than me.”

“Dude, what? She was definitely checking you out. What happened to our plan? You were going to take out their drinks and ask for her number.” Zuko appreciated that Sokka was trying to cheer him up, but there was no way Pretty Girl was looking at him for his attractiveness. His fingers itched to touch his scar. He formed a fist in his lap instead.

“Oh please. Do you remember the first thing she said to Katara?” He pitched his voice higher, “‘Oh this is your super hot brother? But he’s dating Suki? Life is full of suffering.’”

Toph kicked him under the table. “I don’t think that was why she asked about Sokka. I feel like I’ve heard that Ty Lee girl’s voice before. Isn’t she always here when Sokka is working?”

“Oh yeah!” Sokka sounded smug. “She was definitely flirting with me earlier. Maybe her friend was letting her know I’m off the market.” He flexed his muscles. While he was distracted by posing, Katara gagged exaggeratedly at Aang, who was trying desperately not to laugh. 

Zuko smiled. His friends always made things seem… slightly less horrible.

“I have an idea!” Katara said. “Why don’t you happen to be visiting Sokka or Aang during our study session? You took Philosophy of Law last year, right? You can offer to help us and talk to her some more.”

Zuko bit his lip. “I don’t know. Besides, I’m probably working on Wednesday.”

Katara shrugged. “That’s not an issue at all. I’ll text her and ask to change the location to here.”

Sokka nodded. “This is a good plan Katara, I’m impressed.” Katara rolled her eyes. “The shop is really quiet on weekday nights. You could probably still sit with them. Who’s working with you on Wednesday?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s just gonna be Uncle and me.”

“That’s perfect!” Aang said. “Your Uncle is going to be so on board.”

Zuko shuddered. “You are NOT going to tell my Uncle about this.”

Aang frowned. “But he’ll be super helpful. I bet he has great advice for love stuff.”

“That’s so embarrassing.”

The younger man pulled out his phone. “I’m gonna text him.”

“Don’t!” Zuko sprang out of his chair and tried to get around Katara to grab Aang. But Aang was quicker and dashed behind a Sokka. A very intense chase through the shop commenced, to the raucous laughter of their friends.

— — 

Ty Lee hummed happily while applying her mascara. “I hope Zuko and Sokka are both working tonight! Then they might ask us out. It would be so fun to be able to go on double dates with them. We could even have a double wedding!”

Mai sighed. “We spend enough time together already, don’t you think? Besides, Sokka is unavailable, so you need to get over it. And I still think Zuko likes you.”

“Not a chance! You’re so dense sometimes.” Ty Lee sprayed some perfume and Mai tapped her foot impatiently.

“Are you ready to–” Mai was cut off by a notification on Ty Lee’s phone. 

The other girl gasped. “OH MY GOD! The girl with pretty hair asked me to get dinner tonight! I’m freaking out! Do I look okay?” Ty Lee began frantically running around their tiny dorm room. 

“You look great,” Mai assured. “I guess this means you’re ditching me tonight?”

Ty Lee shrugged, “Duty calls. We’ll have to take a rain check on that double wedding scheme.”

“Bummer,” Mai deadpanned. “If that’s the case, then I’m leaving now. Have fun and stay safe!”

Ty Lee winked. “I always do.”

As Mai made the short journey to the tea shop, she couldn’t help but feel nervous at the prospect of meeting Zuko again. She hated herself for getting so worked up. She hardly knew the guy, so he shouldn't be affecting her like this. She certainly hadn't thought about Kei Lo this much before they started dating. And Zuko wasn’t into her. No way.

She caught sight of the familiar facade and pushed through the door, to the chime of the bells. The shop was almost completely deserted except for Katara sitting alone at a table near the back. Zuko and an older man were working behind the counter. There wasn’t a Sokka in sight, so it was probably for the best that Ty Lee found other means of entertaining herself. 

“Welcome in!” the old man smiled warmly. “Katara tells me you two have quite the night of studying ahead of you. Order whatever you want, on the house!”

“Oh!” Mai was taken aback by his generosity. “Are you sure?”

“Of course! I’m not so old that I’ve forgotten my school days. Besides, what's the point of owning a business if I can’t flaunt it a bit?”

Mai smiled. Before college, she hadn’t met very many generous people, and even fewer jovial ones. She decided to take a page from his book and be whimsical for a change. “In that case, I want your favorite thing on the menu. Since you’re the owner, you probably have good taste.”

The old man laughed. “I like to think so! But I would be devastated if you didn’t like it. How about I have my nephew whip something up for you instead?”

He gestured to Zuko, who Mai realized was staring at her very intently. Did she say something awful? Did he think she was weird? Oh! He was probably wondering where Ty Lee was. Maybe his uncle was only being so nice because he thought she was the girl Zuko liked.

She could feel her cheeks getting red. “That would be great… Um… Thanks again.” 

The spirit of whimsy whooshed out of her body and she retreated to Katara’s table.

The other girl already had her textbook, notes, printed study guide, and laptop in position. It did not make Mai feel better. 

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she checked her watch, but luckily it was only five minutes after their scheduled time.

Katara smiled, “You’re not late at all! Sokka, Toph, and I came here after our lectures so I’ve been here all day. Midterms are killing me, but this is a good place to zone in and focus. You should totally come here more often.” Her eyes twinkled and Mai didn’t know what was happening. She would almost think Katara was flirting with her, but wasn’t she in a relationship with Aang?

Mai noticed Zuko, not too far from them working on her order. Mai spoke slightly louder than normal to ensure he heard, “Yeah, Ty Lee loves it here. But Ty Lee had something come up today, so Ty Lee won’t be here.” It was highly un-subtle and inelegant, but she wanted to be sure Zuko understood that Ty Lee wasn’t coming. She hated to think he would get his hopes up, anticipating her arrival.

“Oh yeah,” Katara said, “I forgot she was going to come with you.” Zuko must not have told Katara about his crush.

Mai pulled out her study materials, and Zuko approached their table. “I– I made this for you.” He gently set the cup amid the mess of books and paper. “It’s black tea with cardamom and a dash of milk. It’s my favorite for studying.” He gazed resolutely at the floor.

“Thank you,” Mai said. Zuko didn’t leave and Mai wondered if he wanted her to try it before him. Surely it was too hot.

But then Katara spoke up, “Oh my goodness!” Mai looked up, startled. Perhaps cardamom held a special significance to the other girl. “Zuko, I just remembered! You took philosophy of law last year, right?” 

“Yes. I did,” he replied robotically.

“Do you think you could help us study? You are really smart and get excellent grades.” Katara spoke like she was announcing the fact to a crowd.

“Yes and I love helping others!” Zuko offered. Mai was not sure how that was relevant, but she supposed he couldn’t hurt. Besides, it would be nice to see him up close.

“Uncle!” Zuko called out, “Do you mind if I sit with them for a little while? I can help out if we get more customers.”

The old man was already looking their way, a gleam in his eye. Mai heard the distinct undertone of humor in his voice: “Don’t worry about it! I can manage.”

Zuko turned his attention back to them and looked between both sides of the table. Katara moved her backpack off the floor and into the seat beside her. Zuko sat beside Mai, and Katara smiled from ear to ear.

“So, when I took this class, Jeong Jeong gave us a list of ten essay questions and then he chose two of those to write on the day of the exam. Is the format still the same?” 

Mai nodded. “I printed out an extra study guide for Ty Lee in case she got bored.” She handed it over, and Zuko’s fingers grazed hers as he took it.

He glanced over the prompts. “My strategy for exams like this is to target the readings and lectures that apply to most questions. That way, I know there’s at least one source I can reference. 

Mai nodded. “I think we should start with Aquinas for natural law theory and Hart for legal positivism. That will give us a good overview of the main debate in the course. 

Katara tapped her fingers on the table, “Do you think he’ll take points off if we disagree with him? He’s a big advocate for natural law, right?”

“Definitely,” Mai agreed. “He never shuts up about it.” Zuko chuckled and Mai felt warmth blossom in her chest.

“I don’t think he’ll take points off if you explain your case, though,” Zuko replied.

“Okay then,” Katara began flipping through her textbook. “Let’s start with Aquinas.”

— — 

“Yes, but you have to keep in mind that the judges don’t have a standardized moral code. What if the Supreme Court accepts a case reviewing–” Zuko’s train of thought halted as Mai shifted in his direction. They were almost touching. He could shift and their arms would be pressed together. “I’m sorry, what was I saying?”

Mai gave him a sympathetic look. “Don’t worry about it. It’s almost closing time for the shop and we’ve been at this for ages. Maybe we should call it quits?”

“No!” he said before he could stop himself. It was true that they’d been studying for almost two and half hours at that point, but he didn’t want it to end. Zuko had studied his old notes all week in preparation for this. (It was more than he’d studied when he’d taken the class the first time around.) But he really wanted to be helpful and impress Mai. 

Over his short time knowing her, his crush had only grown. She was beautiful, obviously, but her sharp wit and humor made talking to her very entertaining. Even when the topic was Philosophy of Law. Beyond that, she was incredibly smart and she grasped the concepts very quickly. It was apparent that she didn’t need his help, but he liked watching her in her element. Crap, was that creepy?

Katara rubbed her forehead. Zuko knew she was really stressed over midterms, but she still rehearsed their little speech about asking for his help studying at least half a dozen times before Mai’s arrival. In true wingwoman fashion, Katara backed him up yet again: “I know it’s getting late, but what if we talk through this last prompt really quickly. We’re almost all the way through the study guide.”

Mai agreed, but just then the bells on the door jingled. Zuko looked over to see that it was Aang. He came to stand behind Katara and rubbed her shoulders. “How’s it going?”

Katara leaned into his touch. “It’s awful. I’m going to fail. Why am I minoring in Justice in Society anyway? I don’t need it for med school.” 

Aang smiled down at her. “Do you remember the last exam you thought you were going to fail? You got, what? Ninety-five percent?”

Katara crossed her arms. “It was ninety-two.”

“I’m sorry.” Aang kissed the top of her head and she visibly relaxed a little.

Zuko smiled wistfully. He had never had a long term relationship, but maybe… He glanced sideways at Mai, who was still scanning the study guide.

“Hey Zuko!” Aang got his attention once more. “Do you think you could unlock the upstairs for me? I think I left my Tsungi horn in your room.”

Zuko narrowed his eyes. Aang was terrible at the Tsungi horn. He didn’t own one as far as Zuko knew. “Sure. I’ll help you look.”

They went into the back room and Aang stopped them before they could go any farther. “So how’s the mission going? Katara texted me that she thinks Mai likes you for sure.”

Zuko’s cheeks flamed. “I don’t know about all that. I still think she might have been into Sokka. She was talking to Uncle– Oh! Also, she really got along with Uncle Iroh.” He knew he was probably smiling like a fool, but Aang was in no place to judge.

“Zuko, everyone gets along with your uncle. It would be really concerning to me if she didn’t,” Aang pointed out.

“Fair enough,” he sighed. “But it’s still important to me. Anyway, she was talking to him and he mentioned me. When she first saw me it was like the wind left her sails or something.”

Aang shook his head. “I’m sure you’re misinterpreting things. And that was just at first, right? How have things been going otherwise?”

Zuko bit his lip. “I actually think they’re going pretty well. I mean, we’re getting along well enough but it’s hard to tell. We’re studying and Katara’s there, so I don’t know if she likes me all that much.”

Aang snapped his fingers. “I have an idea! Let’s go!” The younger man grabbed Zuko’s wrist and led him back out into the shop before he could protest.

Mai examined them. “No luck finding it?”

“Nope,” Aang smiled nervously. “Not a trumpet in sight?”

Mai’s brow furrowed. “I thought you were looking for a Tsungi horn?”

“None of those either,” Aang laughed in a stilted manner. “Anyway, I had an idea. Since this exam is so awful, what if we all went out to dinner to celebrate when it’s over? You and Katara can relax, and it'll be my treat! And Zuko can come since he helped out.”

Mai hesitated, and Zuko wished the floor would swallow him. Aang came on way too strong. He was going to scare her off and she would never come back.

Katara spoke up. “That’s a great idea! We deserve it, don’t you think?”

Mai relented. “Okay… but I can pay for myself. You’re all too kind. Seriously.” Zuko almost crumpled to the ground in relief. 

Mai left shortly after, and the shop closed for the evening. But the end of day chores didn’t feel so mundane, with the knowledge that he would be seeing Mai again so soon. 

[lorkonsghost]

Here's a sneak peek into April dating a Wayne kid au I'm writing. Title work in progress

The Red Hood, The Red Head, and The Big Green Turtles

He just wants to be Jason again

Jason has no idea why he’s fighting alien robots with almost 6ft tall turtles, or why the girl he started dating a month ago dating is also fighting said alien robots but he wasn’t really going to question it. He was fighting alien robots makes a lot of things easier if you don’t question them wait are those fucking ninjas and why did the turtle in red say their name like it’s a bad thing. Jason really rethinking coming to New York to go drinking by himself was a bad idea maybe if he at least brought Roy he wouldn't be in this mess.

 

1 month ago, and 2 weeks after Jason’s 21 birthday

 

Jason was getting sick of always having someone tag along everytime he went drinking, for his 21st birthday wasn’t the problem, but the 4 times he tried after that doing it solo was the first time he tried it Dick showed up not 10 seconds after his first shot the next tine he did it was in star city and Roy showed up before even his first shot. The third time it had to be a joke because why did Rose fucking Wilson show up at the bar he was drinking at in central city she normally never even visit central city. The fourth time he knew it was joke because he went to the most swear rat bar in Gotham and for fuck sake why was Bruce their wearing a fucking fake mustache. Jason wasn’t really annoyed at not drinking alone if he actually wanted to do that he would just stay home and buy a few beers with Bruce’s credit card but it was the fact that he kept running into people he new he just wanted to get drunk and make a few mistakes but no now somebody he new was their and he can’t go embarrassing himself in front of them he had reputation to up hold. So that’s why he’s in New York he knows almost no hero’s who even touch New York so he thought no problems.

 

Jason was a few drinks in when he first saw her it looked like the first time she ever been in bar by herself and Jason thought why would she choose such a warn down bar like this. Jason took a shot for confidence and approached her thinking the most he could do is keep her company.

 

“Hello their beautiful looking kinda lonely mind if I join.” Jason say with his buzzed confidence

 “Hmph ha ha ha are you serious my ex had better pick up lines.” the red headed girl says

“Sorry I never been the kind of guy to try pick up a girl this way.” Jason says with a slightly bruised pride

“Oh so how you do it mister aren’t you look lonely miss.” Her blue eyes smiled behind her glass

“honestly most of the time we just start dating or they fall for bad boy charm” Jason with a cocky smile

“Sorry dated one bad boy don’t know if I need another” her red hair drops a bit but she says with a cheer in her voice

Jason doesn’t know actually why he tried flirting with her Jason knew it wasn’t good to get involved with a civilian Isabel taught him that he missed the flight attendant. But maybe it was the alcohol In his system, or it was the fact he wanted to ignore the hero stuff that’s also probably why he wanted to drink  without anyone he new he just wanted a night where he’s okay to be somebody other than Jason Todd the red hood son of Batman in somebody’s eye just Jason.

 

“I never introduced myself I’m Jason I’m not just a bad boy I also happen to read pride and prejudice.” Jason says in half cocky smile with another swig of his drink

“Okay mister Jason tell me your favorite quote and I’ll tell you my name” Her smile softens

“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun. I know the original quote is about falling in love but it’s like I lived my life by it”  Jason says trying to hide the emotions he feels when he says it

“My names April so you where telling the truth about reading it” April say with a reassuring smile

Jason collects himself for a moment he’s kinda surprised how far he’s come along in this conversation. Jason really was only Jason right now no baggage to unravel yet and he’s okay with that right now it only him, April, his slowly blurring vision, and the hope maybe he could get a date out of this.

“So miss April tell me something other than your name please”. Jason say with a half smile

“Well currently I’m trying to be a journalist but get the last 5 credits of my degree I need to intern under another journalist for a year.” April says with a slight annoyed frown on her face

“so what’s the problem can’t find respectable enough journalist or something else” Jason says trying to offer A chance to vent

“It’s not that it’s just any intern ship I apply for needs me full time and my home life just doesn't allow that right now* April says with happier expression

Jason wants to call in a favor from Clark or Lois so bad right know he really could solve this girls problems with a phone call. But Jason was taught by Bruce, Ras, Dick, and Talia you can’t solve all the problems even if two them he would stab and not regret it and Bruce and Dick have been off his shit list for a good minute. But all of them where right he can’t just solve her problem for no reason but Jason wanted to do he makes a compromise.

“Okay that’s problem I could possibly help with” Jason says with cockiest smile yet

“Oh how so” April says with curiosity

“So a family friend is a journalist I could put in a word for and give you a chance at something buuut with it would be uup to you to convince them to agree to whatever youuu propose” Jason say with seriousness but with slurring

“Are you serious why would you do that for me” April says questionably

“Well I could ask you for a date as compensation but instead here’s what in going to do I give them a word if they give you a chance you go on date with me as celebration if they don’t drop my number we never talk again” Jason says with a smile

“Well mister Jason you got a deal and if don’t get I might stillll give you a chaaaasnccce for at least not being a creeeep” April tries to say a little flirty

Jason grabs a napkin and calls the waiter over to closes his tab and ask to borrow a pen and writes his number down

“call me in the morning I’ll set up an interview” Jason say as gets and walks over to April

Jason kisses the back of April hand and says as looks into her eyes once more ”Did you admire me for my impertinence?”

April laughs “yeah I did.”

Jason offers to pay for April’s tab as well but she’s says it’s okay and as Jason leaves he wonders if he’s doing the smart thing involving April in his life.

[snarp]

Real True Law Stories

This is heavily-paraphrased because 1) it happened a while back, and the conversations were longer and involved a lot more of me going "no! no! augh," and 2) the case was not actually about Ale-8 bottles, but its actual focus was similarly-specific, which would have made it really easy to look up.

Dad: Can you value a collection of old Ale-8 bottles for me, honey?

Me: ...possibly, but I'm not going to. Is this a blasting case again? Did someone's designated used Ale-8 bottle shelf fall over?

Dad: No, they got stolen. He had this shed or big closet or something totally full of collectible Ale-8 bottles, he's got all these insurance photos, he'd had them appraised by the national Ale-8 bottle expert -

Mom: Dear...

Dad: No, he's definitely really upset about these lost Ale-8 bottles! He's traumatized! Do you think I don't deal with liars? ...He thinks his estranged drug-addict relative stole the Ale-8 bottles.

Me: No. That did not happen.

Mom: That's probably not what happened, dear.

Dad: Drug addicts steal stuff all the time, what is this -

Me: Dad, no, this is fucking logistically -

Dad: - don't, I'm telling the story, stop it - "logistically" -

Me: A drug addict would not steal and hock a huge collection of Ale-8 bottles! They're heavy and fragile and that's a ridiculous specialist hobby, logistically it'd be way too -

Mom: The bottles were definitely stolen, dear?

Me: Why wouldn't you just steal, like, the TV? Or the car or whatever?! You don't steal the Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: They were stolen! He was gone! He'd had a fight with this person, he couldn't get back into the house for a while, he came back and the bottles were gone, he was heartbroken!

Me: No! You don't steal the collection of Ale-8 bottles, that's not what you steal!

Dad: No, they knew he really liked these bottles, it was revenge or something? Seriously, he keeps asking me why I can't make the police go and arrest this person and find out where they put the bottles, he's really angry! He misses his bottles.

Mom: *sigh* Okay, dear. So the Ale-8 bottles were stolen and insurance won't cover them.

Dad, to Me: So you're going to try and value the Ale-8 bottle collection for me. It'll be easy.

Me: I am not.

Dad: He has a spreadsheet.

Me: No. - You said he already had it appraised!

Mom: Before the Ale-8 bottle heist...

Dad: He did! I mean. There's this guy who writes Ale-8 bottle valuation books, he lives - somewhere, and the client knows him over, I guess, an Ale-8 bottle club? Ale-8 bottle mailing list? On the internet. - and he came on this road trip to just look at these Ale-8 bottles in the guy's shed or closet! Does that make sense?

Me: If this is an actual collecting hobby that other people engage in, and not a scam - if Ale-8 bottle collecting is something that's real - then yes, that's normal if you've got a valuable collection, I guess? How much did he say all these Ale-8 bottles were worth, is this even a sane case to be taking if he's telling the truth?

Dad: [a very large number]

Mom, who has been quietly thinking about this while we do our manzai routine: Well, there are definitely other Ale-8 bottle collectors, honey. [name] likes them, I think?... That seems awfully high. He had them in a shed? Like a garden shed?

Dad: I've seen the book! He showed me the Ale-8 bottle book! It was a shed or a garage or a side room or something. They weren't outside.

Me: If what you're trying to figure out is whether this guy and the appraiser are for real, I'd just... look around online and make sure there are actually people buying and selling these things, and talking about them to the extent he says there are, I guess?

Mom: If there's a real community and a real buyer base.

Dad: The Ale-8 bottle book had numbers in it, like values.

Me: The numbers don't mean anything if his buddy wrote the book and if they're the only two people who care about Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: You know, you're awfully suspicious of these Ale-8 bottles...

Me: It's a completely ridiculous story. - You're suspicious of them, too! That's why you even asked me to value Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: You're just not a trusting person. You're paranoid. You know, I trust all my clients completely -

*My Ale-8-bottle-related-outrage HP drops too low and I die.*

Mom: No. What she's saying is that their book value -

Dad: Yeah, that's the word, their book value! Like a Kelley Blue Book value for a car, that's what this other guy does, he does the Blue Book for the bottles. So all I have to do is show the insurance company the Kelley Bottle Book, right?

Mom: No.

Dad: It's fine! The insurance company will be completely cooperative. What are they going to complain about, it's right there in the book.

Mom: Does the book reflect the market values of the bottles? The street values? Are these the prices that people pay on eBay or wherever when they're buying the bottles?

Dad: I don't know.

Mom: Are they the prices he paid for them?

Dad: I don't know. Probably.

*I finish my corpse-run and resurrect.*

Me: There's got to be an actual market for there to be market prices. People who buy the things and have opinions about how much they're worth and stuff.

Dad: Can you research that for me, honey? Research the Ale-8 bottle market?

Me: I'm not going to do that. You have [name] in the office, right? You are paying her money to do this stuff for you, correct?

Dad: You never want to help me. Help me research Ale-8 bottles. I don't know why my daughters never help me.

Mom: And then you have to prove all this stuff to the judge and jury. Will they believe that Ale-8 bottles are worth anything?

Me: Please show us how you will emotionally convince the jury that these Ale-8 bottles are worth money. Make it sound like you're really sad about the loss of the valuable Ale-8 bottle collection.

Dad: Nnnno! *laughs* Oh, my god, they're such bullshit! They're these little bottles! And he had zillions of them! He must have some sort of trauma in his past, I'm going to ask [Psychiatrist Who Acts As An Expert Witness In PTSD Cases] to examine him... - Well, this is some southern thing, like the little toy stock cars that guy had. I don't know, maybe a southern jury will buy it?

Me: Say that "a jury of your peers" means "a jury of Ale-8 bottle collectors."

Mom: Yeah, hope you get a collector on the jury or on the bench.

*- several months later -*

Dad: So do you want to hear what happened at court the other day? With my Ale-8 bottle guy?

Me: You're going to tell me about the Ale-8 bottle guy regardless. Did it turn out to be insurance fraud?

Dad: No, actually! - well, I don't know. "A reasonable doubt for a reasonable price!"

Mom: Dear.

Dad: So obviously the insurance guys are like, "this is bullshit! It's bullshit! Ale-8 bottles aren't worth anything, the whole thing is bullshit!" And I'm like, okay, well. And they don't want to go to mediation, and they give us this lowball number to settle, and, obviously, no.

Dad: So we go in front of Judge [X] the other day, and I'm like, *solemn expression* "Judge. My client has had his extremely valuable Ale-8 bottle collection stolen, and his insurance will not pay for it even though he had it personally appraised by The Ale-8 Bottle Man."

Me: Who is his buddy and who may well be artificially inflating the prices of stuff he and his friends have a lot of, sure.

Dad: You don't know that!

Mom: And opposing counsel said…?

Dad: So, [Other Lawyer], he got up there and he was like, "Well, Judge, I mean. Ale-8 bottles, right? They're Ale-8 bottles." And they start - but then the judge goes, "Actually. I wanted to say, I was looking over the documents in this case. And, well, I've got a bit of a collection myself - I've got the - 1492 Foofrall-something Bottle and a mint-condition Bluh-buh-buh Bottle, and" and then he just sits there and lists all these Ale-8 bottles he's got for like, several minutes.

Me: Is this a joke. Did this actually happen.

Dad: It happened! It did happen!

Me: Mom!

Mom: I know, dear. It happened. He is not making this up.

Dad: So I get out of there and I go over and talk to opposing counsel, and just! The looks on their faces! They looked so defeated.

Me: They've got to be really suspicious of you right now.

Mom: "Is this why he took the case? Did he know?"

Dad: No! I had no idea! I was just as flabbergasted as they are, I've never heard him - okay, did you know this terrible fact about Judge [X]? Did you know he was one of them? The Bottlers?

Mom: I did not know this. I knew that he golfed.

Dad: So, long story short, I kind of think that this case is going to settle?

Mom: Unless the bottles are just in his basement, and he posts a picture of them to his Facebook without thinking.

Dad: Huh?

Mom: Like your other guy.

Dad: Those weren't bottles.

[haemosexuality]

why are so many adventure time fans just straight up stupid. about how stories work. and i dont even mean kids i mean like adult fans just with the absolutely dumbest takes

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.

HOWEVER.

It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.

People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?

Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?

And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:

HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.

Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.

And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.

You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly that's not the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.

[mildcicada]