#like I know she also dies in the books but geez just one episode with her as an adult??

[xsignedmsriss]

I really wish Laena could've been Vhagar's last rider because the next one...

[not-close-to-straight]

Random Wanda Vision Thoughts--

Episode 1: I am an emotional bitch crying at Wanda and Vision saying “i do” at the end of episode 1, like can these babies please catch a break? they just want to be happy. 

Also Agnes and the 70′s show mom are my favorite wtf. 

STARK TOASTERS I SEE YOU. 

WHO IS WATCHING THEM WTF 

Episode 2: 

Dottie should die, she seems like the type who needs gently run over by a bus

WHO IS IN THE RADIO

Elizabeth Olsen is so cute in this, absolutely adorable 

IS THAT DAVID SCHWIMMER PLAYING THE PIANO

Vision is drunk from getting gum in his gears, I’m actually cackling right now. 

Tiny bit culty with the “for the children” thing, huh? Yikes

BABY BUMP! 

Some creepo decides to get in on their world and Wanda literally went “i think the fuck not, let’s try this again and this time in technicolor” 

is that the cop who asked out Ant Man on the radio?

The difference in “sitcom” Wanda who is happy in her world and “real life” Wanda when she realizes something isn’t right is honestly astonishing and Grade A Face Acting. See what happens when they let women do more on screen then walk around in tight clothes with full lips parted in a sexy pout? 

Episode 3: 

Seventies Vision’s hair is ENDING ME, I can’t even deal with that. 

IT HAS TO BE DAVID SCHWIMMER except he looks like “russ” from friends instead of “ross” 

Poor Vision is not handling impending fatherhood well 

COMIC BOOK NAME DROP BILLY AND TOMMY I LOVE IT 

Poor pregnancy fritzing Wanda. DID WANDA JUST GLITCH A TIME ERASE AND NOT MEAN TO? Listen, I did not expect to love them as a couple this much. EW HER WATER BROKE OMG 

A STORK 

Oh Wanda, poor baby she’s so afraid, I write way too much fan fiction about how all these characters are secretly terrified to go through life alone to be okay with this. 

Why did I start crying immediately when the babies were born, I’m too emotional for this. She is so beautiful and Vision is so soft meeting his son as himself, oh my gosh. THE TWIN SCREAMS while the other twin comes omg this is Grade A Sitcom bullshit. 

The doctor knows something is Up and so do Herb and Agnes. *don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious*

...have we actually seen Ralph and I’m just blanking on it? WHY DON’T THEY LIKE GERALDINE? WHO IS SHE?

Oh no i’m crying again over pietro and the sokovian lullaby. Don’t let me watch this while I’m PMSing wtf this is torture. GERALDINE KNOWS ABOUT ULTRON

OH SHIT WANDA IS PISSED LOOK AT THAT DANGEROUS LADY. that head tilt is fucking lethal. 

I love agnes oh man. I know because of spoilers she’s something of a bad guy? but I love her

WHAT HAPPENED TO GERALDINE OMG DID WANDA KILL HER

Oh no, not dead. Just kicked tf out of the bubble. I just realized the symbol is for Sword. Is this some sort of experiment to keep Wanda contained post Endgame? I should have read more spoilers, I’m fucking confused. 

Episode 4: OH HOLY SHIT IT’S MONICA RAMBEAU AND IT’S POST EG SNAP OH MY GOSH SHE HAS NO IDEA SHES BEEN GONE FOR FIVE YEARS MY HEART IS BREAKING MY HEART IS BREAKING I CAN’T TAKE IT 

It IS the cop that hit on Ant Man! WHAT DO THEY MEAN WESTVIEW DOESN’T EXIST 

Oh it’s Darcy! Damn straight it’s Dr. Lewis. How very shocking, a woman was the one to show a room full of Ridiculous Men what’s going on?

ZOMBIE VISION OH MY GOD “no we can’t” oh man she is starting to CRACK and Vision knows something is wrong OH NO 

At this point I should point out that I am 1000% surprised at the quality of the show and 1000% pleasantly surprised by how much I’m enjoying it. The bar for Wanda’s character development was literally subterranean, but this is has been frankly sort of amazing?? 

Episode 5

Agnes asking about “taking it from the top” WHAT. I love so much the way the characters “break character” it’s so interesting and well done! WHY IS WANDA LYING TO VISION. 

WHERE IS RALPH

oh my god the babies are children now?? why isn’t agnes noticing?? THEY’RE SO CUTE I COULD CRY ALL OVER AGAIN 

I do not. trust. hayward. Why is he asking about Wandas nickname? Monica knows whats up-- she knows Wanda is grieving and hurting. 

THE VISIONS CORPSE WHAT? WHAT IS WANDA DOING OH MY GOD SHE STOLE VISION. Vision has a living will? Don’t you have to be human for that? Are you telling me the woman that loved Vision would straight up ignore his wish to not be turned into a weapon after his death? I have a hard time with this. 

Oh no Vision is starting to worry me. He’s onto Agnes, he’s noticing Wanda getting careless...the boys are adorable though. Good on Agnes for not even flinching. 

DAMN RIGHT WANDA COULD HAVE TAKEN OUT THANOS LETS HAVE SOME RESPECT PEOPLE. Also, why is Monica being sketchy about Captain Marvel? 

EMAIL ALERT EMAIL ALERT “none of it is real.” oh my god what is happening?!?!

“Is this yours?” OH MY GOD. “This will be your only warning” she is so unafraid and I love her for it. I love her accent coming back when she breaks characters LOOK AT HER TURNING ALL THOSE MEN AROUND I LOVE HER. 

“Fix the dead” oh my god the shock on her face. The absolute irony of her trying to tell her boys there’s rules when she’s writing the playbook as she goes. Oh my god. “Can’t I?” Jesus, then the credits start rolling because she wants the episode to be over but Vision won’t let her OH MY GOD. My heart is breaking

WHAT DOES IT MEAN SHE DOESN’T KNOW 

SHE RECAST PIETRO

Episode 6

OOOOH look at the classic costumes! Pietro is slaying me. I mean, it’s the wrong pietro but its still very funny. The way Vision calls her out and then plays it off is.... spooky. She is fully aware thats not her brother. “Be good.” holy shit. 

Look at me not liking Hayward again. “which one is the sassy best friend” i feel like that’s....racist. “don’t use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward” DRAG HIM SIS 

Listen Uncle Pietro being a little shit head is my favorite. I use the OG Pietro in my fics but this one is hilarious. 

Vision lied about being on duty? Yikes. The one house where people are stuck in a loop? YIKES. Its crazy how everyone is starting to be super aware of Wanda pulling the strings--MAGIC CHILD OMG. 

Whats past ellis avenue? Is that the limit of Wanda’s powers? I don’t super understand how Vision has his powers if he’s technically dead. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE AVENGERS ARE she really just gave him enough life to exist just barely. Agnes knows he’s dead so she wasn’t snapped??

Agnes’s witchy laugh while dressed like a witch is legit awesome. We call that FOREEEEEEEEESHADOWING! Oh and there’s Ellis Ave. Got it. 

Monica’s blood is changed?? Idk how to feel about Black Character willing to die for White Charaxter? I mean I know Wanda should be Jewish but still. Uncomfortably close to icky tropes but maybe I’m reading too far into it.

YIKES where was she hiding the kids till now? How’d she do all this? “I’m not a stranger or your husband” YIKES.

OH MY GOD DEAD PIETRO

OH MY GOD VISION STAY IN THE BUBBLE SOMEONE SAVE HIM SAVE HIM OMG BILLY CAN HEAR HIS DADDY DYING SAVE HIM

“The people need help” oh Vision you are truly Worthy

She literally expanded her world to save him omg

DARCY WHERED YOU GO geez look at power of this girls mind it’s about damn time we got a glimpse at just how intense her powers are

Season 7

Ok is this like a reality show? Oh man she is GLITCHING.

Oh no it’s just Wanda not Wanda vision cos she feels alone? So sad. She really is losing it isn’t she and not in a “lol how awkward” sortnof way but in that truthful hard to watch way that so many of us feel when we’re at the breaking point

“I actually did bite a kid once” I literally ugly laughed right there

I KNEW I COULDNT TRUST HAYWOOD

It’s so nice to see Darcy used in a real way. Her character was totally wasted in Thor

The way Wandas little interviews get more and more sad :(

Uhhh what does that mean Agnes is quiet on the inside? Again with the Ralph thing. I’m starting to think there’s no Ralph at all??

LOOK AT THIS GIRL WITH HER SPACE ROVER . She’s got that same look of determination her mama had. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER WHY ARE HER EYES BLUE

“....soooo Wanda killed me?” I’m ugly laughing again and I shouldn’t be but the comedic delivery is excellent. The whole “office” vibe with the cameras is making an otherwise devastating episode fairly funny

LOOK AT THIS GIRL STANDING UP TO WANDA we love a sharp cheekbones beauty

“Maybe I already am” I mean, I would have loved to hear that post Ultron when for some reason everyone blamed Tony for everything?? But hearing it now is just horrifying and I hate it

Oh vision deciding to go get to his wife is beautiful.

WHERE ARE THE BABIES WHERE ARE THE BOYS OH MY GOD IM FREAKING OUT WHAT BASEMENT THATS NEVER GOOD

Uh hey what the fuck is up with Agness creepy basement of horrors??

AGATHA HARKNESS OH MY GOD

This song is a BOP wtf she deserves an Emmy for this shit

Snoopers gonna snoop what?

Episode 8

Of course it’s Salem, where else would a witch story start

“They simply bent to my power” What a queen

lmaoooo THAT ACCENT COMES AND GOES Agatha really said what we’ve all been thinking

Wait so Wandas power drew Agatha in? I thought maybe Agatha trapped her here?? SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT WANDA IS

THE BABIES

Oh ouch this trip down memory lane is gonna hurt me isn’t it?

Oh no her mama I’m dying inside send help. The TV sitcoms. Oh my god is this her last memory before her parents died. HELP ME I CANT WATCH THIS

Oh my god, she had powers when she was little?? SHES NOT AN EXPERIMENT???

Listen I generally think telling a story retroactively is lazy writing? Just give us a well developed story the first time?? But this is BRUTAL and brutally well done.

SHE SAW HERSELF IN THE MIND STONE???

Would it have been so difficult for them to give us even a PEEK at this version of wanda vision in CACW? Marvel has the worst habit of just popping up like “oh hey these two love each other all the sudden with no real reason for it” but this is wonderful. So much character development.

Oh listen to this woman begging to be able to bury her husband omg. WAIT SO SHE DIDNT BREAK IN AND TAKE HIM?? WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO VISION?? DID HE PUSH HER INTO THIS PSYCHOTIC BREAK?? HE TOTALLY PLAYED HER INTO RECREATING VISION SHE JUST WANTED CLOSURE. He literally showed her visions dismembered corpse and said “say goodbye” I will kill this dude wtf

“I can’t feel you” guys I have to pause this so I can cry for a minute

“I can’t feel you” and then she leaves. Totally alone in the world. My heart is an empty husk.

Why the house though? Why west view?

OH FUCK ME UP ARE YOU KIDDING ME VISION WAS GOING TO BUILD THEM A HOUSE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE

It’s not even real vision? Just the projection of her broken heart? “Welcome home” I am broken. Physically broken.

CHAOS MAGIC

SCARLET WITCH

I CANNOT

OH MY GOD WHITE VISION??? NO NO NO

[whoaiminactivenowwepa]

His Dark Materials - Æsahættr - Messy thoughts

[MASSIVE HDM SPOILERS (DUUUH)]

- Oh sht I forgot that the cliff ghasts can communicate

- Pantalaimon low key flirting with Will tho

- "Sez you, rabbit" Dear god I live for every little interaction Lee and Hester have left together

- Mary is supposed to be playing the serpent in the genesis story, but the beautiful irony is how she's easily the kindest and warmest female parental figure here. Honestly, at least one healthy parental figure doesn't have to die in this series 😒

- Paula clearly wants a goodbye hug pleeeaaase

- Literally any time someone mentions Roger in this show, me or my sis or both of us go "ROGEEEERRR"

- Geezus, what right do these witches have to be so beautiful

- Hol up, did Marisa purposefully use the spectres to scare her monkey?? Geez look, I know the golden monkey is a bitch but I really can't help but pity him.

- "All I've learned is that we make mistakes. I don't want to make a mistake with either of these people."

I really wonder how Lyra will react to Lee's death in a 3rd season. One thing I like that the show has done is remind us how Will and Lyra are still only children that have no idea what they're doing, much less what they're getting themselves into. I can imagine her blaming herself or the alethiometer again for being unable to help him, just as she did for Roger before.

- I can't believe this show just did the damn "Run." *beat drops* meme on this scene, I stg

- Had an interesting conversation with my lil sister about that scene with Marisa and the monkey and we came to the conclusion that she just kicked her own ass.

- I also couldn't help but imagine Ruth acting with Bryan for when she goes down on all fours to touch the monkey and it's a beautiful image

- LEE'S HAT :'((((((((

- I don't remember Lee and Hester's interactions leading up to his death being this heartbreaking. Hester being overwhelmed at Lee's head getting grazed and blaming herself baby noooo (〒_〒 )

- LEE'S THEME PLAYING AS HE CALLS FOR SERAFINA JWIDHAJDHH STOOOOOP

- THE CONCERN IN LYRA'S FACE WHEN SHE TELLS SERAFINA TO GO TO LEE,,,,, BABY GIRL I'M SO SORRY FOR YOUR COWBOY BALLOON PAPA. HE TRULY DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER LQKDNS

- Hold up tho, there's no way Marisa managed to travel all the way to where Lyra was that quickly. Don't tell me she rode on the spectres or some sht

- "And then we go home?"

"...And then we go home."

I've fuggin had it with this episode man

- Okay so I was wrong about the possibility of Jopari surviving the season, but at least it was easily a major improvement from how he dies in the books. Bye-bye, Juta Kamainen. I won't miss you 👋

- I FORGOT HOW MANY PEOPLE DIE AT THE END OF THE BOOK DEAR GOD

- SHE PUT HER IN A SUITCASE??? MARISA FUGGIN SMUGGLED LYRA IN A SUITCASE?????

- Serafina Pekkala must be having such a bad day. She couldn't save Lee in time and has to be the one to bear the bad news to his best friend. And then she's probably going to come back to the base to find two dead bodies and a missing Lyra

- Why do we get no gay angels this season and have to watch the Wholesome Papa Duo™ die, but Lord Asriel gets to fuggin live wtf

- Stelmaria is really pretty tho and I missed her

- I love how Dafne is referred to as "Ms Keen" here in the end credits too, that's so cute

- ROGEEEERRR AFTER THE END CREDITS BEBEYYYY

- WE'RE NOT GETTING A SEASON 3 FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER 2 YEARS FUUUU >:((((

[characternerdocs]

10, 12, 17, 20 (wip ask game)

wip ask game ||| @chickypoodoodloos

10. how many wips do you actually have right now?

I know techically this ask is about writing, but I do art too so I'm including that on in count... so I have like five or six wips right now? 12. what’s a wip that you’re determined to finish?

My book! I'm split between working on two chapters of it at the moment, where one character just got yeeted off a balcony, and in the other a character is about to have a very powerful awaking due to a well placed tap ;D But I've been working on this book for - geez six years now. It's changed a lot from it's original concept, legit I scrapped like 85% of what i originally wrote back in 2018 cause i felt it be better to take it in a different direction. But I REALLY need/want to finish this first book by the end of 2022. 17. what do you do to motivate yourself to write?

for writing, I try to go to a coffee shop. or somewhere where I don't have as may distractions. Since I've been home since 2020 with the pandemic, I've had a harder time actually sitting down to write cause there are too may distractions at my house. When I was at University, I'd hunker down in the basement of the library and write. True I'd get up, walk to the cafe or to the union to get a coffee or a snack. but I'd leave my stuff at the library so I HAD to go back. At home I can leave my desktop as I doubt somebody's gonna steal that. So I was motivated by the theft of my property?

But also having feedback. Nothing get me more hyped to keep writing then hearing other's options on the plot or the characters so far. And I love hearing character x is somebody's favor, and I sit there with chaotic fire in my eyes as I know that character ultimately dies. I am a merciless god But no I love hearing people's feedback on my work and stories.

for drawing, it's music. I like to create doodles off of the vibes and feelings I get from sings that inspire my characters. I use to do a lot of speed drawing with that but it take up a LOT of storage on my computer. plus I forget to screen record... 20. how do you usually come up with story ideas?

Most of it is just me not liking how something is, E.G. I liked the premise of the show Supernatural but felt all the characters in that show were extremely unlikable. Extremely extremely. Also the most interest monster I have seen in season one the Daeva, aka a shadow demon, was in one singular episode. So there's why Vincent haves shadow powers, cause shadow based powers are cool as fuck and that show that had 13 or more season, wasted it.

There's also characters that I like from different shows but I feel like they development isn't right? E.G. Lapis from Steven Universe. I feel like her character developed backwards? I understand that her character has trauma and I respect what she represents, but it hurts to see this character go from lovable goofball from her first episode to edgy and kind cruel in the later episodes. And I've found that subconsciously that Rox's character arch is Lapis's arch but reversed. As Rox is this angsty teen from the start, but as their story progresses they get comfortable enough to let some their anger and resentment to the world go as they start to find acceptance. But again I know not all character development is positive.

But also music. I get story Ideas from music. - you want to know the song that made Heather and Vincent a couple? That made me realizes "holy crap! Vincent loves Heather!" Our Love is God From Heathers the Musical. (and yes... Heather's name comes from Heathers... the movie tho, I didn't know there was a musical until later) Music is a big inspiration for a lot of plot points and characters.

Thanks for the ask @chickypoodoodloos, I hope you enjopy getting some insight on me and my create process with is basically just ... music...

[give-me-back-my-rhodey]

Here We Are, Born to be Kings - AUgust Day 9

Title: Here We Are, Born to be Kings

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: N/A

Pairing: Rhodey/Tony

Square Filled: G2 Dramatic Proposal

Link: Read on AO3

Summary:  Prince James is in love with Lord Tony Stark, a childhood friend. However, the Starks have been disgraced due to embezzlement charges. Can they overcome this?

++++++++++

“Your Highness. Lord Stark is here to see you.” Quentin Beck holds up his nose.

 Prince James Rhodes rolls his eyes. It’s not like Beck should judge. He was only hired because his family was in serious debt.  Tony is working out of his.

 Tony walks in a few minutes later, hair askew. “Wow, Rhodey, your servants hate me. I call it an achievement.”

“They just think it’s ok to judge since their scandals happened long ago enough for people to forget. You don’t deserve this.”

 “I probably do.” Tony shrugs. “It doesn’t bother me. Actually, it gives me the chance to ditch my politeness because they already dislike me.”

 “Oh for that luxury,” Rhodey sighs. He hates the protocol he must go through. Maybe that’s why he finds Tony so refreshing.

 They first met at a football match. Tony was on the other team, and he told the young prince, “We’re not playing any easier because you’re the prince. So, be ready for that.”

 Rhodey laughed and started playing. Tony’s team was clearly better, and they defeated Rhodey's team easily. After the game, Tony invited him to grab some lunch. They have been fast friends ever since.

 Now, Rhodey is 22 and Tony is 21. Tony’s father died last year, and Tony inherited his estate. After going over the numbers, Tony’s godfather, Obadiah Stane informed him that Howard had been falsifying records and was basically bankrupt.

 Dazed and reeling from his parents' sudden death, Tony doesn’t know what to do with this information. He reaches out for help, but as Howard had been stealing money from his peers, everyone refuses to help him. Rhodey offers to bail him out completely. Tony won’t let him. He decides he will work to pay off his father's debts.

 Tony was always incredibly smart. His patented inventions were used worldwide. He decides to start his own company, Stark Enterprises, where he builds and sells hi-tech machinery and entertainment devices. As his company quickly grows, he branches out into clean energy and satellites. Not even a full year after starting his company, Tony is very successful. With only Stane and his PA, Pepper Potts, at his right hand, Tony makes sure that he himself takes care of the books. Every entry is painstakingly entered and checked by the big boss himself.

 Rhodey is very proud of his friend, but it seems that his family is the only one in the kingdom that is. King Terrance and Queen Roberta love the young man as a son, but they often wonder if he is taking on too much, causing his sleepless nights and unhealthy eating habits. Tony waves them off saying he had had those problems before his parents had died.

 Prince James’ PR agent tells him that finding someone to date might be a good look for him. Everyone is looking for news of the royal family, and they will only assume the worst if they don’t hear from each member. Queen Roberta’s cooking classes and bingo games are televised. The king does a podcast twice a month. Jeannie plays tennis professionally. James is the only one without a big public profile, and he prefers that. However, there are some people who think that James is being pushed out of the spotlight or being abused in some kind. To quell any quickly rising rumors, Rhodey agrees to attend sports matches and talk to the press for a few minutes each time. When Tony’s not working his ass off, he often accompanies Tony.

 What Rhodey doesn’t tell his PR agent is the reason he doesn’t date. He is hopelessly in love with Tony and admitting that would be bad for a few reasons. 1.) Everyone in the country is against Tony. They would slander his name even more if they thought he had got his “money-grubbing claws” in the prince. 2.) Tony is straight. He had never told Rhodey otherwise, and he has only dated women as far as Rhodey knows. 3.) He doesn’t want any reason to make Tony uncomfortable in the only place he is welcome other than his home. So, he skirts the topic because fake dating is not his idea of fun.

 Now, Tony’s here and Rhodey knows he’s giving Tony heart eyes. “So, you’ve got a day off from me. What’s the plan, Rhodey?”

 “You pick today. I’m up for anything.” Rhodey trusts that Tony won’t do anything Rhodey can’t.

 Tony sits on the chair beside Rhodey. “I need to sit. I don’t think I’ve stopped moving for a week.”

 “So, what you’re saying is you need sleep.” Rhodey retorts.

“No, I need to spend time with my Rhodeybear. We never did that Star Wars marathon after Rise of Skywalker came out, did we?” Tony pokes him. “We can order like tons of pizza and greasy foods and bro it out like the old times.”

 Stuck in a theatre room with only Tony and highly unhealthy food? “Sounds like a great day. Let’s queue up the movies. I’ll have |Miss Cabe order our food. The usual?” Tony nods and heads off to the theater.

 Rhodey pulls out his phone and texts a maid, Bethany Cabe, to place an order for the following: an extra-large bacon pizza, two orders of cheesy curly fries, mozzarella sticks, and onion rings. Rhodey has cases of Tony’s favorite beer, so they did not need to worry about drinks.

 As they settle in to watch the movies, Tony tells him, “Wake me up if I fall asleep. I don’t want to miss Episode Six again.”

 “Come on Tones, Return of the Jedi isn’t the best.” Rhodey smirks.

 Tony glares at him. “It’s my favorite. Leave me alone. Go ahead and like Empire or whatever one you like the best. Geez.”

 “You know mine is Episode Three. The tragedy, the pain, the John Williams’ scores? A masterpiece.”

 “Anakin deserved better.” Tony mumbles as he eats a bite of pizza. Rhodey sighs. He’s heard this rant many times, and he’ll probably hear it again tonight. Tony really gets into these movies.

 Tony falls asleep at the end of A New Hope, his head falling on Rhodey’s shoulder. He looks so exhausted so Rhodey lets him sleep through Empire since Tony thinks it’s overhyped or something. Rhodey likes it. When Return of the Jedi starts, Rhodey nudges Tony awake. “Episode 6? Honeybear, you are an angel.” Tony kisses his cheek.

 By the time The Last Jedi comes on, both of the men are sleeping. Jeannette comes in to check on them and snaps a picture of Tony lying on top of Rhodey, both snoring away.

 Rhodey wakes up a few hours later and freezes. Tony is sleeping peacefully on him, his head on Rhodey’s chest. He doesn’t dare move in fear of waking Tony up. He slowly reaches for his phone and scrolls through Instagram and other social media apps until Tony wakes up.

 Tony wakes up slowly, but when he’s fully awake he jumps up and goes. “I’ve got to get to work!”

  “Hey Tony. It’s Sunday. We were going to spend Saturday and Sunday together, right?”

 “Oh. Oh. Whew. I thought.” Tony slumps. “Probably hallucinating from all that grease.”

 “Maybe we should get a little more sleep in a real bed.” Rhodey suggests. Tony nods, and they walk up to Rhodey’s room. Since they were kids, Tony always slept in Rhodey’s bed with him. They only ever slept and/or cuddled, and Rhodey has a king bed in case either of them needed their own space.

 They go to Jeannie’s tennis match then accompany her to an expensive Italian restaurant for dinner. The next morning, there are pictures splashed across the tabloids. Stark trying to get in with the Royal Family? Read more on page 3! One says. The Apple Doesn’t Fall far from the Tree – Another Gold-Digging Stark! Rhodey shakes his head. He was afraid this would happen. He calls his PR agent, Maria Hill.

She answers with a “Now do you see why having a partner would be good?”

 “Yes. Do you have any candidates who would be willing to date with no sex and/or strings attached? For public only?”

 “You don’t know how many celebrities only hope for that. Let me see which ones I can get. I’ll send you over a packet when I get them.”

 When he gets the packet, Rhodey isn’t surprised to find that 75% of them are women. Skipping through them, he tells Maria to reach out to an A-list actress Natasha Romanov. She is a beautiful woman, and they seem to have a lot of the same likes and dislikes. She agrees to meet with Rhodey at a small café near the palace. He introduces himself as Rhodey, then corrects it to “James or Jim” when Romanov gives him an odd look. “I’m sorry. My best friend always calls me Rhodey. It’s just what I expect now. I mean, if you want to call me that in private, it’s fine. Maria thinks it’s better if you call me James or Jim when talking with the press.”

“Tell me about this best friend.” Natasha leans forward. “He sounds like a nice guy.”

 Rhodey launches into a detailed description of Tony: his strengths, his flaws, his quirks, etc.  When he’s done, she asks, “And you’re dating me because you can’t date him?”

 “How did you…?”

 “You’re in love with him. Just look at your face. It’s ok. I won’t tell the press. I have almost the same problem. I’m in a poly relationship with a different celebrity couple. However, since Hollywood, even with its sex scandals, still looks down on poly relationships. I need a beard to keep our activity on the downlow. Is that acceptable for you?”

 Rhodey nods. “Of course. And you’re right. I love Tony, but I need to keep the press out of his life. His father put him through a lot, and he’s trying to make up for Howard’s sins. He doesn’t need the extra press coverage. Also, I don’t know if he likes me like that. I’ve never seen him date a guy.”

 “Well, I’d like to meet him.”

 +++++++ Natasha and Tony eventually meet. Tony is happy to meet her, but Rhodey feels that Tony is wearing one of his many masks. |When they kiss goodnight, Natasha tells him, “Rhodey, he likes you.”

 “Not that I want to doubt you, but I’m highly doubtful on this one here.”

 A few months pass, and Natasha and Prince James are photographed at red carpet events, at sports games, and at galas. Rumors are spreading that Prince James might propose soon. Natasha shows up at the palace for a surprise visit. “Hey, can we talk?” She pulls James from his family dinner.

 She tells him how the couple that she is dating are planning on coming out to the press as poly with her because they know some younger people who are receiving hate for their relationships. They want to be allies for such people. And they want her there when they come out. “Can we say we amicably split? I’d love to keep in contact with you.”

 “That sounds good.” His phone pings. He has a google alert set up for Tony because the press likes to come up to him for hostile interviews at the most inopportune times. James does his best to save him. “Listen Nat, I will talk to my publicist, but I have to go.”

 The press has trapped Tony on the palace driveway. “What do you think of Prince James marrying Ms. Romanov?” One reporter asks.

 “I didn’t know they got engaged, but I think they are an excellent match. Well-suited for each other.” Rhodey can see Tony is keeping his press face on but was not ready for the sudden press conference.

 Another reporter sneers. “We know you were trying to get a piece of the royalty. Will you try for the princess now that the prince is spoken for?”

 “Excuse me?” Tony reels. “What are you talking about?”

 “They’ll never have you. You’re just a charity case to them. What do you think of that? Did you think Prince James really liked you? Especially after what your father did?” Another reporter shoves a microphone in his face.

 Tony loses his mask. “Do I think Rho- Prince James really liked me? I have known the prince since we were young teenagers. I know he likes me… as a friend. But anything more? No. He never did, never will. I know what my father did; I know what I have to do to fix it. My father and Prince James have no correlation. What are you even trying to say here?” Rhodey can see the pain in Tony’s eyes. They flash when he says that Rhodey will never like him as anything more as a friend.

 “Excuse me.” Rhodey steps forward. “Can you step away from him, please?”

 The press apologizes and steps away. “Now, I want to say this once more and hopefully never again. Lord Stark is not his father. Lord Stark is paying his father’s investors back as quickly as he can. He started up his business on his own with his trust fund from his maternal grandmother. Howard never saw or added to a penny of that fund. What is the point of hating a man for the sins of his father? Keep rolling. I am talking to the country as a whole. Leave him alone, please. I want to say one more thing. Tony Stark, you are the love of my life. The reason I have not dated is because the only person I have ever loved was you. Yes, Natasha and I dated, but we did to keep other things hidden. I’m sure she will let you know at some point. It’s not my job. Tony, again, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and perhaps rule with you. I do not have a ring yet because I had not planned to propose to you in front of live TV today, yet here I am. Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”

 “You’re serious?” Tony gasps.

 “Completely.”

 “Then Rhodey, my Honeybear, my Platypus, my Sourpatch, I will marry you in a heartbeat.” Tony smiles widely, and Rhodey kisses him deeply, in front of the cameras. As they turn to the palace, Tony turns back to the cameras, lifts his middle finger, and says, “Fuck you” whilst smiling sweetly.

 ++++++ The country is so shocked at Prince James’ dramatic proposal. People wonder if Tony is a good fit for the prince due to his blatant disregard for protocol. Princess Jeannie posts the picture she took of them sleeping in the theatre room on Instagram, the caption “I knew it.” She broke the internet with the most likes on an Instagram post.

  Tony goes through his numbers and his father’s numbers again to make sure everyone is paid off. While looking at his father’s records again, he notices some discrepancies from Obadiah’s report. The truth comes out – Howard had not done anything wrong; it was Obadiah. He falsified documents, records, and even bills to give him much more money. Obadiah is fired and imprisoned. Tony’s name is cleared. Anthony Stark marries Prince James Rhodes a happy man.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #239

Thur Dec 17 2020 [10:52 PM] Umbramatic: :O [10:52 PM] Wack'd: I'm gonna guess Batman. You'd never expect that

[10:53 PM] Umbramatic: its the spanish inquisition [10:54 PM] Wack'd: So this mystery guest is a woman with short black hair, having come to see the Four all the way from Arizona on a matter of life or death. She also mentions in thought balloons that

"It's been so long--so many years since we last saw each other. I wonder if he ever thinks of me--of us."

[10:55 PM] Bocaj: I don't think I know of anyone with black hair [10:55 PM] Wack'd: Lucky for her, especially given it's the dead of night, the Four's little corner of the Baxter now has a receptionist. Uh. Kinda.

[10:57 PM] Wack'd: Reed meanwhile has been up for three days straight trying to fix the current Ben related-fuckup. He blamed himself, of course. Sue tries to reassure him that Ben probably doesn't hold him accountable [10:58 PM] Wack'd: Huh!

[10:58 PM] Wack'd: You know what? Fair dues. I did not see this coming. [10:59 PM] maxwellelvis: Doctors Hate Her! [10:59 PM] Bocaj: I always thought of Aunt Petunia not appearing until later [10:59 PM] Bocaj: In my mind she was sort of a the ghost for a while in the sense of sir not appearing [10:59 PM] Wack'd: I mean hey, twenty years is a hell of a while. [10:59 PM] maxwellelvis: As an aside, from what I remember of Ben's wedding, it looks like Aunt Petunia started aging in real time as if the Four had gotten their powers NOW as in 1982 [11:00 PM] Wack'd: "Doctors Hate Her!" Funny you say that max because Ben describes Petunia as a "genuine country doctor." [11:00 PM] maxwellelvis: Ha! [11:01 PM] Wack'd: So Petunia meets the gang. Sue mentions she was expecting someone older, which Petunia takes in stride [11:02 PM] Wack'd: It turns out Petunia married into the family. She, uh. Well. [11:02 PM] Wack'd: Ben's Uncle Jake got into an auto accident, which killed his wife. Petunia, then a student nurse, became his medical student, and then his wife. [11:02 PM] Wack'd: That...sure is a course of events! [11:03 PM] Bocaj: 😬 [11:03 PM] Bocaj: That feels like it fits into a trend with Byrne [11:03 PM] Wack'd: Doesn't it just. (Though I will again point out he is not responsible for Sue having been creepily young when she and Reed hooked up. That's Lee.) [11:04 PM] maxwellelvis: I can see why Slott decided to retcon Aunt Petunia into the grandmotherly type for the wedding. [11:04 PM] Bocaj: Oh now I know where MCU Aunt May has absorbed life force from [11:04 PM] Wack'd: So the "life or death" matter involves her home out in Arizona with Jake. The whole town is in danger of being "frightened to death." [11:05 PM] maxwellelvis: So call Mystery Incoporated [11:05 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh wait, this is 1982, Mystery Inc.'s broken up. [11:06 PM] Wack'd: So. Uh. This is Uncle Jake.

[11:06 PM] Wack'd: And this is Aunt Petunia.

[11:07 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, she'd have to have a few more gray hairs than that if she's known Ben since he was a boy, I think. [11:07 PM] Wack'd: She does not seem to have. [11:08 PM] Wack'd: So the Four arrive in Benson, Arizona, and the narration informs us that Ben had been the only one who approved of Jake marrying Petunia, and. [11:09 PM] maxwellelvis: That's what all the instances of Ben invoking her name had led me to believe. [11:09 PM] Wack'd: Look I want to take for granted this is messed up and move on but the damn book seems dead set against me doing this. [11:10 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, anyways, I guess that means we've hit the OTHER side of John Byrne's run. [11:10 PM] maxwellelvis: Aspect, perhaps [11:10 PM] Wack'd: Sue mentions we don't know much about Ben's past. Ben says his mom and died died when he was a teen and Jake raised him. [11:10 PM] Wack'd: (We don't really know much of Reed's past at this point, though I am given to understand this will also change in the near future.) [11:11 PM] maxwellelvis: This part is just Byrne telling Steve Gerber he can fuck off. [11:11 PM] Wack'd: Gerber, I assume, would instruct Bryne to get in line. [11:12 PM] Wack'd: Racism? Anyone want some racism? Anyone think what this story could really use, right about now, is some racism?

[11:13 PM] Bocaj: Eesh [11:13 PM] maxwellelvis: (Gerber I think was one of the first writers to use the "Ben grew up on Yancy St." backstory) [11:14 PM] maxwellelvis: (Unless he didn't write that issue of Marvel Two-In-One, in which case it would probably be Roy Thomas that Byrne was dismissing here) [11:16 PM] maxwellelvis: (I would look this up, but I physically cannot get to my Essential 2-in-1 collection atm) [11:16 PM] Wack'd: So Ruth's child assistant(?) Wendy is upset that Ruth, rather than just appreciating the arrowhead, started a whole excavation. She has fond memories of this place because when her mom was sick they'd come to the site and collect rocks and whatnot. [11:16 PM] Wack'd: So that's not ominous.

[11:17 PM] Wack'd: We skip forward to that night, where two of Ruth's more non-child students are doing some late-night archeology. A mist comes at them and then BAM! Scared to death! [11:18 PM] Wack'd: MEANWHILE IN THE HIMALAYAS [11:19 PM] maxwellelvis: I was putting something in the oven, thinking "Oh man, it better not be the Miracle Man again" and then we cut to the Himalayas [11:19 PM] Wack'd: Quicksilver has been fighting some kind of war, apparently, while Crystal--suffering complications from a half-mutant half-Inhuman pregnancy--is being treated by whoever this guy is.

[11:20 PM] Wack'd: Pietro here is apparently the only guy in all of Attilan who's not come down with some sort of mysterious disease. [11:20 PM] maxwellelvis: He looks like the Leader, if the Leader was slowly turning into a raisin. [11:20 PM] Wack'd: And Attilan is being destroyed, leaving Pietro as their only hope. [11:21 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh yeah, he just looks like the PICTURE of health here, don't he [11:21 PM] Umbramatic: gfrtvtigyhhuihjio;opkp [11:21 PM] Bocaj: The funny thing is that mutant and inhuman genes apparently cancel out [11:22 PM] Bocaj: Or Crystal and Pietro won the silliest genetic lottery [11:22 PM] Wack'd: Back in Arizona, Reed is having no luck cracking the case, while Frankie and Wendy get some bonding time in

[11:23 PM] Wack'd: So, uh. Because this story just did not have enough going on, it turns out Wendy's dad is beating her. [11:23 PM] Umbramatic: oh [11:24 PM] Wack'd: Frankie tries to intervene but Wendy begs her to back off, so she figures there's nothing to be done and leaves. [11:24 PM] Bocaj: Comic are you sure you're up to this content [11:25 PM] Wack'd: I feel like Reed should be caught a bit more flatfooted by someone he looks up to intellectually telling him he can't fix things with guesswork.

[11:26 PM] Wack'd: Sue and Ben want to take action of some kind but Reed points out that, uh, they can't really punch their way out of this one. [11:27 PM] maxwellelvis: I'd make more scooby-doo jokes, but John Byrne deciding to put a Very Special Episode in here has kind of made that feel... not so fun anymore. [11:28 PM] Wack'd: That night, Wendy sneaks out of her house to go talk to the mists. Turns out that’s who her wonderful friends are. [11:30 PM] Wack'd: I think she wants to beg them for mercy? The narration boxes get kinda cryptic. Anyway if that's what she's done, it reeeaaally doesn't work.

[11:30 PM] Wack'd: "What was that about not being able to fight our way out?" [11:32 PM] Bocaj: I think Slott revisited some of this [11:32 PM] Bocaj: I vaguely remember mists and gremlins when Franklin and Valeria were staying with aunt petunia post wedding [11:33 PM] Bocaj: But as it was the same story where Sue made Doom naked on a live broadcast the details escape me [11:33 PM] Wack'd: So on top of these weird things the entire town is now also set on fire and also in a giant windstorm. The Four put out the fires but the damage is done and most of the town decides to evacuate. [11:33 PM] Umbramatic: oh yes that one [11:35 PM] Wack'd: what the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK

[11:36 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh of COURSE Byrne has Reed sympathize with an abusive parent. [11:37 PM] Wack'd: Okay so for starters, because this is the thing I'm the least mad about, everything about this resolution is fucking nonsense. We know basically nothing about any of the other people who got "frightened to death" and so as the readers had no ability to draw upon our own knowledge of their morality or why they might not be able to handle seeing visions of their worst selves. [11:37 PM] Wack'd: From there we get to the fact that, for all the ways Ruth and Reed protested earlier, this is a massive pile of assumptions with absolutely no backing in fact or evidence. [11:37 PM] Umbramatic: geez [11:38 PM] Wack'd: Speaking of Ruth, she said that the arrowhead was crucial, and Ben speculated that may be the excavation released the spirits and they needed to be re-buried. They don't out right say it, but this may as well be a "ancient Indian burial ground" plot. [11:39 PM] Umbramatic: yeesh [11:39 PM] Wack'd: And from there we get, yes, Reed saying that their job is not to judge people, therefore they can't do anything about an abusive parent. Which is frankly just moral cowardice and also really gross. [11:40 PM] maxwellelvis: And also a grim portent of things to come in this era. [11:41 PM] Wack'd: And so the story ends, with. I think the implication is that Wendy asked her "friends" to take care of her dad for her? Which is okay, I guess, but doesn't really fix the way everybody else reacts to this.

[11:42 PM] Wack'd: The story is also just plain all over the place. There's absolutely no reason for the characters who get the Four involved in the plot to be Ben's Aunt Petunia--except-- [11:42 PM] Wack'd: Oh. The whole town got judged. [11:43 PM] Wack'd: Did John Bryne really just write a plot where a bunch of cosmic arbiters of justice basically give the okay to marrying your student [11:43 PM] maxwellelvis: RED FLAG [11:44 PM] Wack'd: This a lot, huh. [11:45 PM] Wack'd: Well, maybe whatever Inhumans nonsense is going on will help clear my head.

[turqrambles]

I watched all 26 episodes of an obscure Australian cartoon in one week and I’m not okay - My journey with Wicked! (2001) PART 1

Here it is, the reason I started this blog in the first place. I need to talk about this cartoon I ran into completely by chance. 

It all started, like you would, with Tubitv.

Good ol’ Tubi, the free streaming service that makes you either an expert at being able to find diamonds in piles of garbage or a connoisseur of said garbage. It’s thanks to Tubi that I put down that I watched Alpha and Omega: Family Vacation on Letterboxd for all to see and judge, but it’s also thanks to Tubi that I finally ended up watching Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

Anyhoo, one day I was browsing their family film selection when I ran into this selection. And that was the day my life changed forever.

What you see before you, posted to a streaming service accessible in the United States, is the movie adaptation of an Australian TV show that never made it to the United States, which is based off a series of Australian children’s books from the 90′s that also never made it to the United States. It made it to other territories like Germany and the United Kingdom (and it apparently did super well in France but don’t quote me on this) but the TV show ran for one year and then disappeared without a trace after one 26 episode season.

How obscure is this franchise? Well, for starters, at the time I’m writing this in 2020, the books, the TV show, and the movie all don’t have a single Wikipedia page to call their own, and the easiest way to get info about this thing is to find the (rather tiny) TvTropes page. 

Let’s just get right into this shall we.

What is Wicked!?

Before you try to be all cute and make any references to the hit musical, there’s a reason I’m putting that exclamation mark there.

Wicked! started out as a series of six children’s books written by Paul Jennings and Morris Gleitzman. I actually grabbed a kindle copy of all six books (because I’m in this thing too deep and I wanted to see how the cartoon compared with the source material) and I gotta say, they’re very charming.

The best way I can describe them is that they’re in the kid horror genre, but they’re less Goosebumps and more The Weenies book series by David Lubar in terms of gore and child endangerment. Wicked! has some artful depictions of blood and gore, but in a way that can be digested by the grade school crowd.

Being a former child, I can proudly proclaim that I would’ve adored this series when I was younger. Just look at these covers!

The plot of the books is that there’s a widower with a daughter and a divorced wife with a son who get married, and the two new step-siblings Rory and Dawn absolutely hate each other. They can’t stand the fact that their parents are getting married! Gross!

But then, on the day of their wedding, creepy things begin to happen after Rory receives an appleman doll in the mail, and then, over the course of six books, a deadly single-minded virus that feeds on hate and is targeting Rory’s bloodline begins to spread across wildlife, creating crazed mutant animals that try to kill everyone in the household. It’s up to Rory, Dawn, and Dawn’s grandfather Gramps to stop this virus before it kills Rory and his mother, and to do so, they have to seek out Rory’s father, who seems to be the mysterious cause and/or the solution to the virus.

I’m not sure how well these books did, on account of the whole “not Australian” affliction I seem to suffer from, but they seemed to do well enough to get a TV show adaptation.

And surprisingly, the TV show is a very close adaptation of the books, only they changed the plot in two big ways so that it fits an animated series with a “monster of the week” setup.

The first big change was that, of course, they toned down the blood and gore and removed the deadliness of the virus, choosing to go with a more cartoony mutagenic approach. Rory gets infected by the virus several times in the show, just like how he does in the books, but unlike the books, he never thinks that he’s going to die from it and it’s definitely treated as a more temporary thing. There’s no race against time either. Everyone is trying to live their lives except every so often, the virus shows up. A wacky cartoon virus with cartoony stakes.

That brings me to the other main change that they make in the show. Unlike the books, where the main villain is a mindless virus that feeds off of hate, an invisible foe that can only be defeated at the end of the last book with the help of Rory’s father, the TV show decides that that’s no fun and instead makes a main villain out of one of the main plot points in the books. Say hello to The Appleman. (Apple-Man? Apple Man? Fuck it, I’m going with the first one from now on)

Instead of having the virus mutate mysteriously and having the main characters constantly hypothesize what’s going to happen next, the TV show made a main villain who constantly reinvents new strains of virus in a laboratory that he set up in an abandoned refinery.

What then happens is a basic plot set-up that the show follows pretty consistently in every episode. The family is trying to do something, we get the theme for the episode, and The Appleman, who is a spiteful bastard who is trying to ruin this one family in particular (and I’ll get to that), decides to make a virus that will infect the theme of that episode.

Pretty standard cartoon stuff, right? Ah, but then you don’t realize the beauty of this show. But first, I gotta introduce the main stars of this show.

The Characters

(quick note: this bus is incredibly important to the plot, but only in the books)

First we have Rory (the boy holding up the tin) and Dawn (the mad red head).

Dawn is the step-sister who lost her mom, a bus driver, in a gruesome bus accident, Rory is the step-brother whose parents got a divorce and then his dad went missing, believed to have run away from his whole family. Both of them are meant to be the dual protagonists, but I feel that there’s just a tiny bit more focus on Rory. There’s a reason for this that I will mention later.

What is interesting to note is that they make Rory the smart, non-athletic little nerd that gets picked on a lot at school for being a dork while Dawn loves sports, is failing science, gets made fun of for not being as girly as the other girls in her class, and likes violent computer games. I wouldn’t exactly call them “fleshed out” but they did enough to make these kids feel like actual kids.

Also, they fight. Constantly. This is the main complaint of anyone who actually looks into this show judging by my brief skimming of Internet comments because these two constantly bicker and insult each other and that makes up like 40% of the dialogue in any given episode. While this is one of the main story conflicts and they’re like this in the books too, it just feels super exhausting to see these two constantly at each other’s throats in every single episode.

They get mean too. Which, surprisingly, makes them both more realistic (I babysat multiple times and kids can be pretty verbally awful to each other) while also making them just a tiny bit unbearable at times. Here’s some actual dialogue.

"My dad sent it to me!" "Gee, he must think a lot of you to send you a doll full of worms." "Your mum thought so much of you she drove this bus over a cliff and into the river to get away from you."

GEEZ, guys...

Eileen, Rory’s mom.

It feels out of the three adults in the family, she gets the least amount of character development, but she does get a fair amount of screentime, so you can’t really say they’re intentionally ignoring her. She divorced her previous husband and works as a mail courier. Instead of owning a car, she drives a motorcycle, and, in the first episode, even drives it to her own wedding while dressed in a bridal gown. Rory’s mom rules.

She tries to bond with Dawn because she always wanted to raise a daughter, but Dawn clearly doesn’t like her new stepmom very much. Dawn is also afraid of the motorcycle and it comes up a couple times in the show.

Eileen is the adult that gets targeted the least by The Appleman’s schemes. There’s a very pointed reason for this, and I swear, I’m getting to it soon.

(quick note: yes, the show uses real photos to put in picture frames in the backgrounds and it’s real weird and never addressed)

Jack, Dawn’s dad.

Jack is a sheep shearer, just like in the books, and he’s a big easy-going dope that is hard not to love. Look at him hammer in this carpet. A true champ.

Out of the three adults in the family, he seems to be the one that nearly dies the most, with The Appleman going out of his way to specifically target Jack in some episodes. If you know Appleman’s backstory, this reads as absolutely petty spite and I love every minute of it.

Gramps, Dawn’s grandfather and Jack’s dad.

He’s an aging WWII veteran (one that has killed people in combat no less) who radiates constant Boomer vibes and, unlike Eileen and Jack, he actually sees some of the crazy shit that happens and will sometimes sense when something is infected with virus when the other two adults can’t.

In the books, he’s suffering pretty badly from dementia, but thankfully the cartoons drop that completely. I’m glad too, because I don’t have the confidence that they would’ve written it with enough sophistication to make it not seem ableist. Instead, he’s just your typical kooky cartoon grandfather.

He’s probably the adult that gets the most screentime because he will actually help Dawn and Rory out. Again, this ties into the books, where he was the main adult ally for the kids.

He says a lot of army-themed catchphrases. It’s a tad overplayed but it never really gets to a point where I would call it “annoying”. Also, instead of living in the house, he lives in a tiny granny flat on the property. Sometimes Rory spends the night there.

Last but not least, we have the star of the show, and the reason why the easiest way to find information of this show is to google “Wicked The Appleman”.

The Appleman, as explained, is the main villain of the story. Dressed in a very fancy suit complete with dress shoes and a nice blue tie, he lives in an old refinery full of rats, bats, and giant worms (called Slobberers), and he’s rocking a voice that can be best described as “Australian Mark Hamil” with an absolutely heavenly evil laugh. He has gross clawed hands, a rotten apple for a head, and likes making people miserable, because he’s basically the living puppet for a virus that feeds off of negative emotions. The main goal of each episode is to either defeat him or to stop the mess he’s made. Usually both.

Since all of his minions are non-sentient animals, a lot of his dialogue is him lurking behind something while he monologues to himself, sometimes turning it into a creepy little rhyme. He’s a pretty lonely guy, so him hanging out with this family can be seen as a very non-subtle cry for help.

The best episodes are the ones where he tries to lurk about in public with a very poor attempt at disguising his hideous features. Somehow it always works, you know, despite the fact that he has yellow eyes, the skin like a moldy apple, and no ears.

What Makes Wicked! Unique

(no, The Appleman doesn’t actually use that axe)

The first thing this show does that most of the formulaic shows don’t do is that it does, in fact, have a beginning, a middle, and an end. That’s why this show was packaged into a full-length movie - you can glue scenes together and actually make a pretty decent narrative, even if the resulting movie definitely had a “glued together TV show episodes” feel ala some of the bad Disney sequels like Cinderella II and Atlantis II. 

This show even has some plot-heavy episodes that dive into just why this whole Appleman situation is going on and why he seems to have it out for this one family in order to flesh out the characters more.

Because that’s a thing that this show does. The Appleman is a cartoon-y villain who cackles in his lab and constantly invents new strains of viruses that can mutate things like animals and household appliances, but he doesn’t do it to take over the city or to “destroy the world��. He does it purely to inconvenience this one Australian family, who he stalks pretty regularly. This is a thing that comes from the books and honestly, it’s a thing that elevates Appleman from “ugly-looking cartoon villain” to “pretty damn creepy, if also still cartoony in execution”.

Sure, a lot of cartoon villains target the main protagonist in their evil schemes, but this one is definitely more personal.

He regularly follows Rory and Dawn to school and, when the family goes on a camping trip, he comes too. If Rory decides he’s going to hang out in the wrecker’s yard, The Appleman will be cackling and hiding behind totaled vehicles. If Gramps takes the kids out to the bay to go fishing, The Appleman will pull an ice cream truck out of his garage and follow them there. That’s how the main conflict is really set up.

I think if a scarier cartoon tried, they’d make him out to be this grotesque stalker, but instead, since this show is kinda goofy in execution, he’s like the shittiest cryptid in the world, constantly crouching behind trash cans and on top of rooftops while constantly cackling about how clever he is and how, miraculously, no one notices anything’s amiss.

This alone would make this villain interesting, but then they set up something about this show at the beginning if you watch the intro and the first episode and put two and two together.

Right from the start, the opening shows that The Appleman was once human by depicting his transformation by the virus. They don’t even try and pretend that he’s some demon or some sort of supernatural monster - he’s specifically a blue collar worker who had a nasty run-in with fate and mutated into this hideous apple-headed creature that now has to hide out in an abandoned refinery. You see why he’s dressed like that - he’s still wearing his work uniform.

Right after you watch that intro, the first episode of the show has Rory receiving a mysterious package from his father on the day of his mother’s wedding. It’s the first time that Rory and his mom Eileen have heard from their dad after he mysteriously vanished years ago. 

What’s inside? An apple-headed doll, which contains the first virus-infected monsters, The Slobberers.

When The Appleman makes his first dramatic appearance, he never says Dawn’s name, but he does know Rory’s name.

And, in case you didn’t pick up the hints from the first episode, the fourth episode really drives it home without spelling it out. Then the last episode of the series decides to say it out loud.

That’s right. Rory’s father, the man who mysteriously vanished from Eileen and Rory’s lives, is still an important part of the cartoon’s storyline, but instead of being the man who appears in the last book that knows how to cure the virus while also being the first victim of the virus, he’s the main antagonist.

The Appleman is Rory’s father.

And honestly, because of this little plot point, this show becomes a much richer experience once you look at the unhinged appleman who keeps unleashing horror on these kids and realize that he’s a divorced dad who constantly keeps tabs on his ex-wife's unstable dysfunctional family in order to make them more pissed at each other because that feeds the virus that mutated him.

This is a very cool concept. This is where Wicked! shines when, for all intents and purposes, it is otherwise a pretty average turn-of-the-century Australian cartoon that can be best described as “it’s okay, I guess” in terms of quality.

Because that’s really the rating I can give this show. It’s Okay.

It’s a very solid Okay, but I think any adjective more powerful than “Okay” is really pushing it. It’s not Great, it’s not Amazing. It’s Okay. Alright. Kinda Good.

But man, is it a wild ride.

Next time, I’m going to start discussing the actual episodes as well as this show’s pros and cons. Dividing this up into multiple parts partly because I feel like these things are more easily digested in smaller chunks and partly because I’m pretty sure tumblr now has a size limit on posts soooo...yeah.

Follow this handy link for Part 2 - The Actual Review!

[gaamagirl565]

Matters of the heart ep 10

Matters of the heart

Episode 10

First impressions

{OPENING CREDITS}

{open to morning in old corona; rooster crows and pans to Isaiah waking up; start reprise of “when will my life begin”} {Isaiah} Ugh. 7:15 it’s morning once again time to get up Go downstairs and eat whatever dad has made Go outside and get started on my chores Feed the pigs, milk the cows and now it’s 8;45 Time to get the eggs from all the mother hens Let sheep all out of their tiny pen Pick some fruit, and read, and just basically Wonder when will my life begin And I’ll keep wonderin’ and wonderin’ 

and wonderin’ and wonderin’ Just when will my life begin… Ugh… {end song with Isaiah kicking a bucket then promptly grabbing his foot} Isaiah: Ow! {cut to the edge of the forest and noremoth is looking over at old Corona} Noremoth: Corona...ick...The name always leaves a bad taste in my mouth… Cassandra: I would ask why but I feel like you're going to tell me even if I don't… Noremoth: a kingdom full of self-righteous people... too high and mighty to even care about helping those less fortunate.  they speak as if there's some sort of Heaven on earth and then they turn around and ignore your existence when you truly need them… Cassandra: that's not completely true… Noremoth:  and yet your past begs to differ sweet vessel… Cassandra: call me that again we will have problems. Noremoth:  temper temper... you know your mission correct? Cassandra:... yes… Noremoth:  good girl... repeat it, please. Cassandra:... infiltrate Corona get the Moonstone shard and leave. Noremoth:  that's a right and remember we're not here to diddle daddle... get it and go. Cassandra: You told me about the person who has it and let me just say I knew this person at one point and he's not going to give it up easily so how do you expect me to get it? {Noremoth unsheathes his sword} Noremoth: by any means necessary of course!  and don't forget if you try and tell anyone of what's going on... let's just say you won't want that. {Cassandra’s eyes flicker in color for a second; Cut to Isaiah in the orchard with a basket and a book} Isaiah: ughhh!  I'm never going to get this right!  it says to keep my knees leveled and balance but how am I supposed to do that when I can't even pick up the sword! {Ruddiger yawns and Isaiah walks over to a tree with a long sword resting on it; not to far away from him is a stump with a log on it} Isaiah: Okay... hold sword firmly in hands and swing forcefully down...Ruddiger,  if this kills me I want roses at my funeral, thank you! { he closes the book and picks up the sword; Cassandra appears from behind a tree that immediately Retreats behind it upon seeing him; Isaiah attempts to lift the sword} Cassandra: what on Earth is he doing? { Isaiah lifts the sword over his head but the weight causes him to fall  onto his back and drop it} Isaiah: Whoa!!...owwww…. { Cassandra cringes and walks over to him} Cassandra: what are you doing kid? { Isaiah immediately jumps up and tries listing The Sword in the defensive position} Isaiah: who are you!? I've never seen you around here before! are you a threat!? Cassandra: Okay first of all… { she sweeps out her leg knocking Isaiah's legs out from under him making him fall back to the ground} Cassandra: your stance was all wrong... secondly the sword is way too heavy for you you wouldn't be able to lift it further than your head if you tried I'm surprised you were even able to do that... this is a claymore kid… Isaiah:... it's my family's Greatsword... Cassandra: uh-huh... you do realize greatswords nowadays are practically decorative right? not actually used for fighting anymore. Isaiah:.. that would explain why it was so dull… { Cassandra helps him up and pulls out her own sword which is much thinner and medium-sized; she hands it over to him} Cassandra: there.  Better? Isaiah: yeah I'm actually kind of surprised at how much lighter this one feels. Cassandra:  your stance was all wrong your legs were crooked. don't Point them inward.  Point your knees outward and lift with your knees only curl your back when you're going to swing.  as for your aim might be a little more difficult for you considering your eye... your depth perception must be crap. Isaiah: hey! Cassandra:  I'm just speaking the truth kid… { she moves behind him and Maneuvers him into the correct position} Cassandra: there... Try it now. { Isaiah eyes her curiously before going to swing;  he cuts the log in half perfectly} Isaiah: I..I did it..I DID IT! Cassandra:  you sure did kid. Isaiah: thank you,  Miss... I didn't catch your name Cassandra:  my name is Cassandra but you can call me Cass. Isaiah:  I'm Isaiah... {cut to them sitting under a tree and having lunch together laughing} Cassandra: wow.. that is... quite the way to get a scar… Isaiah: yeah I probably should have thought that one through… Cassandra:  when I was younger I knew a kid not too much older than you and he almost crashed me with this giant robot thing… Isaiah:  geez that kid sounds unstable! Haha! Cassandra: yeah... haven't seen him in years... so do your parents know you want to be part of the royal guard or… Isaiah: my dad knows he tries not to show up but I know he's nervous about me joining... I never got to tell Mum… Cassandra: Why is that? Isaiah: I lost my mom when I was really little.  she was killed by Bandits… Cassandra: I'm really sorry about that kid… but you still got your dad right? what does he do? Isaiah: he's an alchemist mostly… {Cassandra looks shell shocked} Isaiah:  apparently he used to do a lot of traveling before I was born and he's best friends with the queen. Apparently she got him out of a lot of trouble when he was younger he won't talk about that though. brings up bad memories you know?  Miss Cass? {cut to Cassandra crying and looking shocked} Isaiah: Miss Cass? what's wrong? are you okay? { Cassandra looks over at him and wipes her tears away} Cassandra: Yeah... just something in my eye… Isaiah: I can tell you're lying trust me that's a line I always use. {Cassandra looks away from him} Cassandra: look all I'm going to say is... I know your dad... or rather I knew him. we were good friends once. Isaiah: really!? Cassandra: let me guess your dad's name is Varian? Isaiah: Yes!  my dad is Varian! when was the last time you two saw each other!? { Cassandra Shuffle uncomfortably} Cassandra: look kid...I’m kinda here for a reason...and it’s not... Isaiah: no yeah I totally get it!  hey you know what we're supposed to be visiting the capitol tomorrow!  why don't you come with me! you guys could see each other again! Cassandra: um kid I… Isaiah: please miss Cassandra? I'm sure it would make my dad really happy to see you again! {Cassandra look sadly at him and then back at the forest where the cult is waiting then back at him; Isaiah is looking up at her with hopeful eyes} Cassandra: alright... I'll meet you at the castle tomorrow…. 

Isaiah: that sounds great! I'll see you there tomorrow! I better return the Greatsword to my family's house before Grandpa realizes it's missing! Cassandra: *Chuckles*  yeah that would probably be a good idea… Isaiah: see you tomorrow miss Cass! and thank you! {her eyes flicker in color and pink magic crackles around her for a moment} Cassandra: Sorry little guy... you're not going to enjoy this at all... { cut to a giant barn where men are loading heavy sacks of grain  to store for the winter} Varian: If we follow this plan we should be able to keep enough grain to last us through winter... I've also put aside some seedlings to test on to see if we can come up with a better Harvest next year. Quirin:  good idea... and maybe we could…. Varian: dad? something wrong? Quirin:  slowly look over towards the northern border of the field... try not to make it obvious… { Varian does as he's told and sees a small group of people in armor trying to hide amongst the trees} Varian: I know those people... I know that armor...Noremoth... it's the cult… Quirin: you mean...that group you were fighting all those years ago? Varian: I thought they died out...they hadn’t made a move in years… Quirin:....I’ll gather the men. Tell them to gather their swords. Varian: don’t make any moves yet...Wheres my son? Quirin: he was out in the orchard. Varian: By himself!? They could have him already! Gather a search party! We need to-ah! {He turns around and Isaiah is right behind him} Varian: Isaiah! Oh, thank goodness! {he grabs him and checks him over} Varian: Isaiah did you see anyone? Did you speak to anyone? Isaiah: uhhh...no...why? Varian: We need to go to the castle! C’mon! Isaiah: Wait what!? Why!? Varian: Isaiah there are things I need to discuss with the queen and I want to keep an eye on you Isaiah: b-but dad- Varian: no buts Isaiah! In the wagon, now! Isaiah:...y-yes, sir... {Cassandra watches from the orchard and walks away with a sad but determined look; cut to Varian keeping the horse at a gallop through Corona’s main roads making people dodge} Isaiah: Ah!...D-dad slow down! You’re gonna hit, someone! Varian: sorry buddy no can do! {He gallops past the guard at the gate} Guard: what the-!? {he pulls the reins to stop the horse; he rushes out and grabs Isaiah and runs carrying him into the castle;  when he reaches the throne room he sets Isaiah down} Varian: Go find princess lily! Find her and both of you go to her room and lock the door! Don’t come out until I or the king or Queen come for you understand!? {Isaiah nods and runs away as Varian runs into the throne room; cut to the royal gardens} Isaiah: Lily? Lily!? Where are you? Lily: hmm? Isaiah: LILY!? {Lily gets up and jogs over from the bench she was reading on} Lily: what? Stop shouting! Isaiah: C’mon! We gotta go! {He pulls her hand} Lily: What why? What’s going on? Isaiah: I don’t know but I think the kingdom is under attack Lily: What!? Isaiah: my dad rushed us here and told me to protect you so come on! {They run through the garden heading to the main door but they hear running from behind} Isaiah: Quick into the bushes Lily! {He puts her in the bushes and picks up a thorned branch and hides; he waits for the person to get close enough before he jumps out and knocks their legs out from under them and points the branch at the once their down} Cassandra: nice job, kid... Isaiah: miss Cass? How did... how did you get here without the guards…? Cassandra: that doesn’t matter now...do you know where your dad is? Isaiah:... why? I thought we agreed we'd meet here tomorrow…? miss Cassandra what's going on? Cassandra: look Isaiah I don't have time!  I know I promised you before but things change… Isaiah:... what are you talking about? Why do you want to see my dad now if you were going to see him tomorrow? Cassandra:... just tell me where he is…I don’t want anyone to get hurt... Isaiah: I…!? {Varian, Eugene, Rapunzel, Lance, and Various guards burst into the courtyard pointing their weapons} Rapunzel: C-Cass? Varian: Cassandra? What? Eugene: Okay I'm confused I thought you said there was a threat… Varian: there was.. I'm sure of it I saw them on the northern border of old Corona! {Cassandra suddenly looks like she's in pain as she holds herself slightly; Noremoth watches from a ways away} Isaiah: M-Miss Cass? Are you okay? {Pink crackles of magic surround her and she grips under her head} Cassandra: please... no... not now… Rapunzel: Cass? { suddenly everything is deathly quiet and Cassandra looks up with pink irises and green scleras;  Varian’s eyes dilate in fear} Varian: no... {Cassandra grabs Isaiah and presses a dagger to his throat; cut to Noremoth and he looks visibly disturbed; cut back to cassandra} Isaiah: AH!...M-miss...Cass? I...I don’t Cassandra:  like I said kid plans change. {Varian begins to panic} Varian: Cassandra please don’t! Cassandra: listen here Varian... you have something that we need... and I think you know exactly what I'm talking about… { Varian puts his hand over one of his vest pockets} Cassandra: Bingo... and let me make this perfectly clear if you want your kid to live I’d just hand it over. Varian: Please Cassandra...he’s just a child...let him go… Rapunzel: Cassandra you don't understand what you've missed in the last couple of years Isaiah is a literally all that Varian has please let him go! Cassandra: Oh Thank you Rapunzel! you reminded me of something!  Here Varian!  I've been meaning to return this to you! { she tosses over Estelles necklace and burying catches it;  he begins visibly shaking} Varian: H-how did...how did you…? Cassandra:  let me ask you something there and did you lie to your son or did you seriously not know? Isaiah: Daddy what’s she talking about? Cassandra: Oh my gosh you really didn't know, did you?   let me tell you it wasn't easy especially that Duke... barreling out of the carriage like that attempting to protect her... it was actually kind of romantic that brings me to a question.  what was she doing with a necklace with your name on it and such a romantic message on the back? wasn't she already married to that Duke? oh my do I sense a scandal? {Varian looks up at her filled with rage} Varian: you...you killed her… {Isaiah looks shell shocked and confused} Isaiah: W-what? Cassandra:  yes indeed I did... we've been calling it a practice round if you will... I was quite new to this power that I now possess.  I needed to learn to control it however it appears I'm “unstable”  however I would have never been able to find that out if it weren't for the lovely duchess so thank you!  thank you for sending them my way. Varian: I’LL KILL YOU! Eugene: Varian trust me I get it but... Rapunzel: We need to keep our heads. Varian: She killed Estelle! I’ll destroy her! {Isaiah begins shaking and whimpering} Cassandra:  tell you what I'll make you a little deal... you give me the moonstone shard and I'll give you back your boy do we have a deal?

{Varian looks Isaiah in the eyes} Isaiah:...Daddy… {Varian reaches into his pocket and takes out a small vial with a glowing shard} Cassandra: Perfect...AH! {Cassandra lets go of Isaiah and falls in pain letting Isaiah run over to his father; it’s revealed an arrow has pierced her shoulder} Cassandra: What in the hell… {Cassandra looks over to see Adira with Princess Lily behind her} Cassandra: you know there are some people that are nice to see you again and then there's you… Lance: that’s my Lady! Woohoo! {Noremoth rushes in and stands between them} Eugene: Now who is this guy!? Varian: Noremoth… Noremoth: Varian you wretch… {he holds up a vial of something} Noremoth: Backup all of you!  if I drop this we all go up in smoke! Rapunzel: what do you want… Noremoth: I want to leave in peace rather than pieces... and I'm taking our vessel with me… Rapunzel:  her name is Cassandra! {Eugene holds her back} Noremoth: eh, tomato...tomato... The point is we are leaving and you will not stop us... understood {Everyone is silent as Noremoth helps Cassandra up and waves his glove, making a portal; the walk through it and leave} Varian: Isaiah are you okay!? {Isaiah sobs loudly into his Father’s chest} Rapunzel: Is he okay!? {Adira walks over and examines his neck} Adira: ...He has a slight cut on his neck but nothing that can't easily be healed. Varian: shhhh...Isaiah...I’m here...it’s okay. I’m here. Isaiah: D-daddy… Varian: shhh..oh baby boy….it’s okay… {Varian looks at the necklace in his hand and down at his son then at his friends before shedding a few tears himself} Varian:...It’s okay...We’re okay… {END CREDITS}

[thestudyfeels]

🎨 Graphic made by @indiaisstudying​: India is brilliant my pals, and I recommend checking her out for studyblr/artblr inspiration. My girl tHIRIVES.

The singular takeaway from this post: Do a creative binge. Much productive than a Netflix binge. Period.

Two months ago, I reached my peak when I coined the term ‘bood day’ (a bad to good day, in my article How To Flip A Bad Day By 180°). Today, puppies and kittens, I present to you— a creative binge.

*crickets chirping, that one dude in the audience scratches his nose and turns away* 

…This one actually works but okay, we get it, y'all are bitches. But gonna do my job anyway– if you're a creator reading this, please do a creative binge at least once every two weeks.

I started doing these binges two months ago, and I've seen a VAST improvement in my creative energy. I feel my commercial voice coughing and saying hello to the mic, so before I start listing side-effects for a sponsored pill, let's dive into the basics. 

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Ever questioned your life, experienced writer's block, painter’s pain or blogger’s… block? (Narrator: aaaand she's back to advertising.) A creative binge helps deal with fixing exactly that.

“A creative binge is based off the equation of quality in = quality out.”

A lot of creators feel that they're supposed to magically create out of their head, and that's just ridiculous. It's ludicrous considering you don't know shit, read shit, do shit and watch shit.

Even to write fiction, my pal, you'll have to expose yourself to the world to know its ways, read great books and take tips (not to mention stock up on coffee, and prepare to cry a lot) before you start cranking out the pages. Everything you create is ultimately inspired by the Ways Of The World. (And that's a fantastic novel title)

So in short, you’ve got to consume content, to make content. And in a creative binge, you conscious choose content that'll help you create. Genius, I know!

Okay, but what if I'm not a creator?

Brilliant question! Wanna become more valuable and leave the people you interact with better? Take a creative binge.

Allow me an elaboration: Take a janitor and a neurosurgeon. The said janitor is paid much less than the neurosurgeon. Why is that? Is the neurosurgeon a better person? That's debatable. Is the janitor less efficient at his work? Again, debatable. The primal reason lies in the neurosurgeon acquiring more valuable skills than the janitor. Society rewards them by paying more since there are less folks who can do what the neurosurgeon does.

To recap: In order to be indispensable in the role you play (whatever it is, a student, calligrapher, CEO of the Janitor Club), you HAVE to become valuable. Grow your curiosity & know more than yo’ buddies (also bring more value than anybody else). And to become valuable, you consume value. Tada!

(And if you still ain't convinced, I'll pull out the Netflix card. You'd really rather watch shows? Or binge YouTube? Than learn a new skill, or develop existing ones? Question your priorities, my friend. Victims love entertainment, victors love learning.)

Cool, you're joining in then! Not that creative binge is NOT an entertainment binge. It's a value providing binge. What you ‘consume’ has to bring you something in return— whether that's creative inspiration, motivation or skills. *Swing arms* yup! We’re one gay, productive household. Someone remind Hallie to buy the groceries though, the Cheerios are going mouldy.

By my dictionary, a creative binge is a slot of time, 1½ to 3 hours I'd say, when you watch/read/listen to some good stuff.  Basically, binge content. 

THE 101 OF A CREATIVE BINGE 

🌿 Basics:

I conduct one every week (usually Wednesday mornings), lasting around 1½ to 2 hours.

I'll also keep a notepad and a pen nearby, to take notes and jot ideas as they come. Again, this is NOT an entertainment binge, even though it's a chill job.

Sometimes I'll get passive things done (like wiping my desk, eating breakfast and taking out textbooks) while watching. We maximize our time. 

🌿 What Do I Watch: 

The stuff I watch falls into 3 categories: creative/humor (for inspiration), business/skills (for skills) & motivation (for, um, motivation). Fair warning though, a lot of the stuff these folks make overlap, but that's alright. This is just a rough demarcation. 

Creative/Humor: some YesTheory, maybe some MacDoesIt, sprinkle in some Ryan Higa, perhaps an episode of a show with an amazing script, some stand-up comedy from my favorites. Or maybe trash that and just watch Sherlock. (Geez, Netflix, I hate you, I love you.)

Skills: Gary Vee, some artist channels, that random video on how to thrift shop even though I don't shop.

Motivation: Be Inspired, Tom Bilyeu, Mel Robbins and random videos which look nice.

🌿 What Do I Listen To: 

Oof, I love music tremendously! If you're a pal, you know it's time to RUN when I come around being like, “soo, I was wondering what's your favourite–”.

Yet, during a creative binge, I'll only listen to stuff that 1) inspires me, or 2) is creative in a way I can't explain. Some recommendations! 

Hype music:

The Score

NF

Imagine Dragons

Creative music:

Billie Eilish

Lana Del Rey

Sleeping At Last

Lorde

Conan Gray

Harry Styles 

🌿 What Do I Read: 

Usually the book that I'm reading at that point if I'm being lazy.

POETRY: It's my belief, but poetry is a writer's most powerful device. There's a novel to be said in a simple sonnet.

FICTION: I dig great fiction. PS, please read (and sob over) Away Childish Things, by @letteredlettered. It changed me as a person, changed my entire perspective about kids. I'm much kinder and softer now, and my pimples are gone. I'll literally never get over drarry too, so thanks lettered, love you.

ARTICLES: Bookmarked psychology, productivity & fitness articles on Medium. Maybe check out James Clear's & Gary Vee’s blog for new posts.

Because I wanna drive this home, here's what I did in my last creative binge as a concrete example —

Care to Note that:

All of the stuff I consume is pre-planned.

I add videos throughout the week to my Creative Binge playlist on YouTube, download albums from Amazon Music and articles for offline reading.

DON'T leave this to the last moment, you'll more likely pick entertainment vs learning then. 

Watched–

Why I'm done trying to be "man enough"

Redecorating my room 2017 (I wanna decorate my room this year so)

How to Squat Properly (I’m trying lmao)

Giving a 9-Year-Old Her Dream Job for 24hrs!! (I stan YesTheory so much)

How To NOT Be A Starving Artist (A mood. I love Sorelle)

Couple more, I could go on & on, but you get me.

Listened–

Every song on YouTube by Bruno Major

Born to die: paradise version (album) by Lana Del Rey 

Read–

Articles from James Clear's blog — (x) (x)

Articles from Gary Vee’s blog — (x) (x)

HIIT workouts for beginners

All of this birthed–

Ideas for future articles, titled: How To Be Great & Solomon Letters #2: Question Your Faith, Not Your Dreams, among others.

A small poem about faith– posted on my IG, check it out!

New content ideas, like value chains (upcoming!)

Bunch of other small rants for everyday posting

Some business and life advice that might be useful later.

Gotta say goodbye now! (literally too... but post about it coming on 12th so wait for it) Try this one out, and let me know how your binge goes (tag it with #team conquer). Mine usually end with a bucketful of philo notes, a recharged left (right? psychology? idk) brain, and a fresh perspective towards the rest of my week. 

This is the #1 strategy I've adopted to sustain creative energy when it's sapped all around by negativity and school & I promise it helps. No side effects, no sponsored pills needed. Thanks for reading!

Related: How To Get Back Into The Creative Process (if you're in a blogger's block or experiencing painter's pain)

Have something to say? I treasure all feedback! If this post inspired you to do something, or you wanna throw some love/constructive criticism at me— hop into my ask box, or reply to this post itself!

Thanks for dropping by! Major articles, like this one, come out every Thursday! Join my taglist by to read them when they do. I also post daily wins, journal entries, rants & photos of my plant babies throughout the week, so follow me if you’re into conquering life. I vow to be the loudest cheerleader. ✧

Sending you love and good energy, talk soon. 

Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ 

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[hamfistedmorals]

Rise of Skywalker: Initial Thoughts and Feelings

As a movie, it was engaging. As a Star Wars story, it hooked me. But as a conclusion to this particular trilogy? As a final chapter to the entire saga? Oh boy, was it a hot mess.

BEWARE OF SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

(Disclaimer - I’m one of the 5% of Star Wars fans that loved The Last Jedi, so that might influence my opinion, but I’ll try to keep things unbiased.) 

It was all over the place, and I mean that quite literally. 

We got to see so many new locations, and most of them seemed interesting. Unfortunately, because of the breakneck pace and the ticking clock, the film doesn’t spend any time developing these places apart from Exegol - and that’s only planet who’s name I can remember. Adding on to the map of a Galaxy Far, Far Away is always a good thing. But so many new locations in one movie, with our heroes jumping back and forth every ten minutes...doesn’t make this universe feel larger. Actually, it makes it feel smaller. In past Star Wars movies, it would take time to go from one planet or star system to another. But that really doesn’t seem to be the case here. If there’s one problem that’s been semi-consistent throughout this trilogy, it’s the confusion of timing. (What’s the point of the title crawl if Episode 8 is going to pick up immediately after Episode 7? But I digress.)

The Dyad in the Force is easily the most fascinating concept of the entire trilogy.

I braced myself for the movie to ignore the connection previously established between Rey and Kylo Ren, as it ignores so much of Episode 8. But no, Rise of Skywalker actually build on the bond between these two characters and gives us more amazing scenes of them interacting entirely through their connection in the Force. We learn that they are essentially a one-of-a-kind anomaly, that Palpatine can use to restore his life energy. Rey and Ben even learn how to use their bond by the end of the film. It’s a new idea that Star Wars hasn’t done before and I kinda love it - I just really wish they had explored it more, and better outlined what it is, where it came from, and how it works. Then again, after how much people hated the Midichlorians, I expect the writers are hesitant to give any answers about how The Force works. 

I also appreciated the official introduction of Healing, as a Force Power. 

Say what you will about some of the Force-Abilities introduced in TLJ, but this one makes perfect sense. So much so that I’m pretty sure it’s already a thing in Star Wars video games? It was well foreshadowed and it played a role in Rey and Ben’s final fight, as well as that heartbreaking climax. Honestly, I truly thought Rey was dead in that moment. I teared up, thinking that her parents’ sacrifice was for nothing. Wondering if Finn could sense that she was gone. Wondering what Ben would do without her, since he had no one else. To be honest, I almost wish Rey had stayed dead, since as it stands...we have a redeemed villain sacrificing himself to save the hero that redeemed him...sound familiar? If Ben had lived, and Rey had died, it could have been a tragic inversion of Return of the Jedi, instead of just a retread. But oh well. I had a feeling they were going to kill off Kylo Ren anyway. 

It feels like they did have plans for Finn, but never properly carried them out. 

Rise of Skywalker very clearly implies that Finn has discovered that he’s Force-Sensitive. Which is a good idea, it just comes out of nowhere. Apparently, that’s what he was going to tell Rey - JJ has clarified it. One problem...that’s not a detail that should be confirmed in an interview. It should be answered within the movie. There were two separate conversations about Finn wanting to tell Rey...something, but the film never comes back to that or gives it any conclusion. Likewise, the idea of Finn being force-sensitive is only ever foreshadowed, never brought to light. Overall, Finn got some great moments, like when he met Jannah and got to connect with another former Storm-trooper...but his overall character arc in this film never got off the ground. 

Was it just me...or was Poe constantly angry throughout the movie? 

I don’t know if this was just Oscar Isaac’s frustration slipping through, or if it was meant to be the stress of the war, or something...but Poe was in a bad mood in just about every scene. But just like with Finn, this never gets resolved or even really acknowledged. Didn’t Poe go through an entire arc in the last film about learning to be less of a hot-head? For some reason, he and Rey are at each other’s throats...even though the end of the last film hinted that they found each other attractive? He does get some backstory as a Spice Runner (though they don’t explain what that is. Maybe it’s answered in one of the books, I dunno.) and we get to meet Zori, who is truly a charming and compelling character. Even if she was only written in as a final “no-homo” to Finn and Poe, I wanted to learn more about her. 

They did Rose dirty. They did her so dirty.

She should have been an official member of the squad in this film, not relegated to cameos. There was no reason she couldn't have been more involved. Her romance with Finn should have been addressed. Even if it was just him gently letting her down, they ought to have mentioned it. Regardless of how you feel about Rose and that particular pairing (Personally, I adored her) it's downright strange that she's so absent from the story when she was a main character last time. Gee, I wonder why this was done? Could it be because the character was eviscerated online by a group of hardcore “fans” who compared her to Jar Jar Binks? Who not only made racist, sexist, and body-shaming comments about the character - they drove Kelly Marie Tran off social media? It really seems like downplaying Rose in this film was a direct response to how unpopular she was, and that isn’t fair to the character or the actress. It just seems...cowardly.

The CGI on Leia...could have been better. 

Not gonna lie, it might have been safer to simply reveal Leia’s death in the title crawl and open the movie with her funeral. Don’t get me wrong, I was initially quite impressed with how they managed to re-create Carrie Fisher. It was nice to see her training Rey, and we even get an answer to the age-old mystery of why she never became a Jedi. But as Leia’s scenes went on, the cracks started to show. It became very noticeable after a while that she would never adjust her standing position or really move at all. So many of her lines were shot to avoid showing her face while she spoke. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why it looked this way. I’m just saying that as a viewer, I noticed. Leia’s death scene was the worst offender of this. By the way...what exactly killed her? She apparently gave the “last of her energy” to call out to Ben, but...nothing beforehand indicated that her health was failing, so why would a simple telepathic message consume all her life energy? She’s done it before. Either way, the death scene was kinda lame...but other characters reactions to it? Hit me right in the feels. Chewie’s breakdown tore me to pieces. I wanted to hug him. And as for Ben...

 That Han Solo Cameo

I’m impressed, first of all. We all though Han could never come back since he wasn’t force-sensitive, so he wouldn’t get a spirit form. But the great thing is, Han didn’t come back - not really. It was all in Ben’s head, hence the lines echoing his father’s death. I love how Leia’s death, compounded with Rey healing Ben and all but telling him that she would be with him if he wasn’t on the dark side, is what ultimately swayed him to turn back. When he called Han “Dad...” In that broken voice, and Han just said “I know...” Honestly, that was the best scene in the movie. Ben previously said to Rey that the Dark Side was in her blood, so she couldn’t escape it. It was so clear that he felt that way about himself too, which may have been part of why he turned. Seeing Han was a perfect reminder that he had more than just Vader in his ancestry. 

Chewie’s “death” was the other scene in the movie that took my breath away. 

Echoing the Force-Battle over Anakin’s lightsaber, Rey and Kylo Ren have a tug-of-war for the ship Chewie is on, and in her rage, Rey accidentally conjures Force-Lightning and blows up the ship, shocking everyone. It demonstrates Rey’s power, as well as her natural leaning toward the Dark Side (through anger.) It also foreshadows her lineage. Plus, the whole concept of accidentally killing your beloved friend..It’s got so much tension, so much emotion - it’s fantastic. Only one problem...Chewie survived, and we find that out not even five minutes later. Honestly, it’s the last movie. Anything goes, you can kill off main characters, even beloved main characters. All of the emotional drama that this scene brings to the table stops mattering once you find out Chewie’s alive. I would love to see Rey actually have to deal with the consequences of what happened, for the movie to explore how it makes the other characters feel about her. On the other hand, one of my first thoughts after it happened was “Geez, if the fandom hated her before...” All the fans who complain Rey is a Mary Sue (She’s not) Yeah, they’d never, ever forgive her if she was responsible for Chewie’’s death.

I can’t decide how I feel about Kylo Ren repairing his mask. 

When I first realized it was happening, I was disappointed. In a way, it undoes his character growth in Last Jedi when he rejected his hero worship of Darth Vader - and even did what Vader could not, slaying his master and living to succeed him. Kylo Ren surpassed Vader once he stopped trying to be him, and that was awesome. But between bringing back the mask (with the painfully on-the-nose line about the “cracks in your mask”) and the reveal that “Snoke” is still alive, all of Ben Solo’s coolest moments from TLJ have been reversed. On the other hand... the Kylo Ren mask is, and always was, a symbol. In TFA, it reflected a pretentious attempt to be more like Darth Vader. But in this movie, it seemed to reflect Kylo Ren embracing the image of being the “Big Bad.” much like how Luke embraced his status as a legend, just before he died. And I’m not gonna lie, seeing the words “Supreme Leader Kylo Ren” in the title crawl was quite satisfying. Not to mention, at the end of the day...it’s all an act. Kylo Ren has always tried very hard to be “evil” but his heart just isn’t in it. He’s trying to be something he’s not - so maybe it’s okay if the mask comes back. 

Let’s rip this band-aid off: Bringing Palpatine back was a mistake.

If they needed a greater-scope villain for the climax after Ben was redeemed...why not use Snoke? Apparently, they’re the same person anyway, and people were mad that Snoke died without having a greater story to tell. Palpatine’s return goes entirely unexplained. He just hand-waves the issue by quoting Episode 3. As a viewer, why should I feel triumphant when Rey kills him at the end, when as far as I know, nothing is stopping him from returning again? After all, he survived certain death before, and we don’t know how he did it. (This is what I mean when I say the film is good by itself, but highly flawed as a continuation of existing Star Wars.) Palpatine’s return devalues Anakin’s sacrifice. It weakens both Vader and Kylo as villains because it removes their agency - we now know they only turned because Palpatine manipulated and groomed them. They’ve made him the greater-scope villain of every single trilogy, which just feels weird. I always thought the overarching villainous force of Star Wars was supposed to be, y’know, the Dark Side and it’s tempting call. That anyone could potentially succumb. But speaking of this film rejecting the idea of “anyone” being special...

Rey...did not need to have a bloodline. 

You need Palpatine to have a reason that he’s so intrigued by her? You’ve already got that - she’s part of an anomaly in The Force that no one’s ever seen before. Need a life-changing shock that pushes her closer to the Dark Side? All you have to do is let Chewie stay dead, and have it be her fault. As much as I have genuinely loved Rey’s character growth and I always enjoy watching her, I can’t help but feel like giving her a bloodline at this point was at least partially done to mitigate the claims that she’s “too powerful.” Not to mention, it ruins the reveal at the end of The Last Jedi, and it’s one more thing that makes the Star Wars universe feel smaller. Coming from a powerful bloodline shouldn’t be a requirement for changing the fate of the Galaxy. Sure, Force-Sensitivity is often hereditary, but not exclusively. Besides, there are more people out there attuned to the Force that just the Skywalkers, Palpatines, and Kenobis. Why couldn’t Rey just be one of them? If Star Wars really is going to go on forever, it can’t simply be the continuing sage of two or three families screwing up the Galaxy. 

What’s up with the super-rushed tone of the ending? 

So, Rey and Ben share a kiss - whether or not you ship them, this moment is wholesome, heartwarming, and so earned -  But then Ben immediately, and I mean immediately falls down dead. He doesn’t get any last words or even a last moment. (Come to think of it...does Ben have any lines at all after his scene with Han? I...don’t think he does. That’s just weird.) Nope, he just fades into the Force so quickly that I didn’t even realize what happened at first. Rey makes it back to the Resistance base and reunites with her friends, but they don’t share any dialogue either. No final moments, not even Finn telling Rey that he’s Force-Sensitive. Disney gets to check off their diversity clipboard by having two nameless women kiss in the background, and Rey then visits...Tatooine, of all places, to bury The Skywalker twins lightsabers. Because you see, a Jedi’s Weapon deserves respect. Burning them? Shameful. But burying them, A-Okay.

Rey is never shown mourning Ben Solo.

Whether or not you think he “deserved” redemption, the film clearly sided with the idea that he did. It based a lot of it’s conflict on Rey and Ben being a hero and a villain who also cared about each other. Going so far as to include the Dyad, and give them a kiss scene. So it’s bizarre that Ben’s death doesn’t seem to affect Rey. She doesn’t even have any sort of reaction to it, but she does have a gold lightsaber now. Which is so incredibly cool that it baffles me that they didn’t let her have it sooner. She never gets to really use it. A random local shows up, for no other purpose than to ask Rey who she is. Rey looks on to see Luke and Leia’s Force-Spirits give their blessing (No Ben, for some reason.) And she then introduces herself as Rey Skywalker. Because they had to justify that title somehow, right? Then the scavenger-turned-jedi, who started out all alone on a desert planet but found a family through her travels...ends her story all alone on desert planet. Hey, wait a minute-

The problems of this trilogy boil down to the fact that it had two writers, with two different visions for the characters.

Perhaps the death of Snoke, the introduction of Rose, and Rey’s lack of lineage directly conflicted with J.J.'s plans for the new trilogy...but The Last Jedi happened. It's canon now. Trying to pretend otherwise doesn't "fix" that. Having moments that directly contradict the previous film, even taking intentional jabs at it (looking at you, Force-Spirit Luke) is a waste of time and honestly feels...kind of immature? As a writer, I’m sure it isn’t easy, but you've got to work with what you have, follow the ideas and plot threads introduced, or else none of it will feel organic. So many moments like repairing Kylo Ren's mask, bringing back Anakin's destroyed saber, giving Rey a bloodline...they just cause whiplash.The only arcs that really continue through each movie are Kylo Ren's redemption, and Rey's identity issues. The writing of Episode 9 does everything it can to erase the ideas of Episode 8, and as a result, the entire trilogy feels directionless. The story feels like its at war with itself. I understand if Rian left J.J. in a compromising position, but sometimes you have to let go of ideas if they can no longer work in your story, however much you want them to. And, not to pick on J.J. too much, but...if he really had a major plan for the trilogy, then why didn't he stay to write Episode Eight? He left the second chapter of the trilogy to an entirely different writer, so...what did he think was going to happen? 

It’s a good movie. It really is. I was on the edge of my seat. If you’ve never seen the first two films, you’ll likely enjoy the hell out of it. But if you’re hoping to get a satisfying conclusion for the characters you’ve grown to care about...well, I’ll just say that I didn’t find that here. 

[sepedarodatiga]

The Stark’s revenge towards Aegon’s conquest

I feel like I have been quite more receptive towards the ending of GoT than other Jonsa shippers as proven with this post and this post. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of things that I don't understand but I chose to let go of those things and write it off as something that D&D just failed to convey without GRRM's book. Three-Eyed Raven King Bran is one of it, and every concern I have read about this is valid and I cannot offer any explanation. I don't know if GRRM would ever be successful in delivering this in his book but obviously he will do much better than D&D. Not that I will be waiting around for it though. Despite my acceptance towards the ending, I am still quite hurt and have decided that I am done with GoT and ASOIAF.

That is after I write a few more meta to tied up loose ends I suppose…

There are basically two things I think, that has made me more receptive towards the ending.

First is the realization that GoT/ASOIAF is really about the retaliation from House Stark with their magical ancestry towards Aegon Targaryen's conquest. Every other storyline is just the events that brought House Stark to the top and beat the other houses, especially House Targaryen in the game. We heard it again and again: Ned Stark should have taken the throne for himself. Because that didn't happen, his son who was named after the first Stark ancestor would have to do it.

I know, I know, Bran is not really Bran anymore, Bran died in that cave, etc, but he still used the name Bran when he is crowned King. Or maybe this interpretation is just dead wrong, but until there’s another one that makes sense and can make me feel better, I’m going to hold on to it.

Aegon Targaryen kneeling to Brandon Stark in 8x06 - The Iron Throne. Winter has come for House Targaryen. The North Remembers.

Aegon Targaryen conquered Westeros and brought King in the North Torrhen Stark to kneel with three dragons. Dragons were then no more until Daenerys Targaryen hatched exactly another three. In the same time that another Brandon Stark was alive and crippled by the Targaryen-King slayer Jaime Lannister.

Bran Stark in 2x01, the episode title is The North Remembers. 

House Stark also hide and raised the true heir Targaryen Prince (also named after the conqueror Targaryen ancestor) who shared blood with them, who will later be instrumental in moving the events to bring the demise to House Targaryen. I'm sorry, I know we all love Jon Snow and we know he is a proper lad and much more a Stark rather than a Targaryen, but he is still a trueborn Aegon Targaryen. Is it fair to Jon? Maybe not, but this is something that I am going to discuss later in the second point.

Bran's rise as king in the show came from nowhere because the show only cares about Daenerys Targaryen, the fan favorite and they didn't spare any thought about concluding the story of any other character. It probably would have been more interesting if we got Bran's POV in the last season. How he knows the events that was gonna happen and the realization of what he must do as well as his inner doubts and turmoil about it. How he make decisions and how those decisions affected the story as well as the reason why he must take the throne. But alas, we didn't even get ANY Stark POV in the last season and got the Dany show. Pathetic, considering the Bran's rise is suppose to be culmination of the story.

The second thing is that I firmly believe that there was supposed to be a Jonsa bastard child. The foreshadowing is absolutely there and they told us via subtext exactly when it happens. Other people has speculated that this would happen in the future as some kind of Bael the Bard story. But I think it should have already happened in this story and not only that, but it would have been the thing that moved Aegon Targaryen to commit treason to his house and his aunt Daenerys.

Aemon Targaryen to Aegon Targaryen in 1x09 - Baelor

Look it's just so silly that I can pinpoint exactly when the consummation happened (the night before the war with the NK aka episode 8x02 titled A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms) and when Sansa would have realized that she's pregnant (when Gilly told Jon that she's pregnant, Sam/Gilly has always been a stand-in for Jonsa). Sansa also hides in the crypts after just like Bael the Bard's Stark maiden. However the show decided that it should only be in the subtext for God knows what reason. Maybe it is for future story, I don't know. Or maybe a hint for it to be a different plotline in the books. GRRM did asked "how many children does Scarlett O'Hara has?" when asked whether the show and the books will have different ending. But in the show they decided not to bring it to the text and gave Northern Independence as Sansa's motive rather than her love for Jon Snow and in the end she is given "Queen in the North" as a consolation prize for the missing bastard child plot.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know that many people are happy that Sansa got what she deserve and she does deserve to be queen, but there are also many people who pointed out that her coronation felt hollow and not satisfying whatsoever because Sansa wanted romantic love and family. Her queen foreshadowing mostly relates being a consort of a King and bear his children and technically if she bears Jon's children, she is bearing a King's child. Jon is a "King" only not in the throne, but a King (that lives exiled) Beyond the Wall. 

Sansa Stark in 2x07 - A Man Without Honor (again with the episode title, geez, stahp!)

Secondly, it is just such a messy ending politically. There are already many post talking about this. Bran just give his sister Northern independence, making the North effectively not part of the Seven Kingdoms when he is…from the North? And why would the other kingdoms not ask for their own independence?

I think if the Jonsa bastard child story line happened, Sansa wouldn't need the QiTN ending. She's already the Lady of Winterfell and also she could be Wardeness of the North. They even put a foreshadowing bit for it. Sigh.

Sansa Stark and Littlefinger in 5x04 - Sons of the Harpy

There's no need to bother with Northern independence since a Stark is already on the throne and even ruling other kingdoms of Westeros. They are not "bowing to anyone else", the King of the Seven Kingdoms is of the North. Sansa's conclusion would be her bastard child with Jon.

A Jonsa bastard child would also make sense as a payoff to all the Jonsa romantic scenes and foreshadowing and to our characters. Tell me how you would feel if Jon ends up beyond the wall and Sansa in Winterfell, but they already had a child together? Even if it’s a bastard. Especially if it's a bastard. Named Snow. It would still feel true to a heart wrenching GoT plot but won't leave you feeling hollow. It would have been truly bittersweet. For both the viewers and the characters. Jon has to go through a tragic plot with Dany, but he would have his Stark maiden and he would have sired a Stark heir ala Bael the Bard. And the bloody irony of it! He grew up a bastard, hated it, not wanting to ever sired a bastard, find out that he is not just true born, but a King, but still ended up siring a bastard named Snow. His own bastard name. But he would love it and it would be his source of happiness. So for me, it would made much more sense to have Jonsa in this story rather than the future.

There are other things that I might still want to discuss such as some other foreshadowing for Jon stabbing Dany as well as his exile to the Wall and maybe I will expand about how Bael the Bard story should have already happened. Let's see if I'm still interested to write it but for now I think these are the two arguments that I can give for myself to find closure and acceptance. I hope everyone is doing fine and I have been enjoying reading all your thoughts here on tumblr.

[clutchforbalance]

thoughts on legacies ep 2x15

why are they opening on what looks like the school burning but in the next shot everything is perfectly fine?? is it fireproof???

knockoff Willow is a boring storyline. it requires me to like or care about Josie to begin with and i really didn’t before this arc began.

how long was she waiting outside the door just to make her grand “i’m right here, dad” entrance that she in NO WAY could have heard before blowing the door in

maybe it’s maybelline, maybe it’s a shitty storyline...

now she can dessicate a vampire with a HUG???

i love how Hope’s timing is so convenient to witness all the events so the story can move itself along

also more convenient entrances. geez Alaric, is barging in on cue one of the things you teach at this school?

how is Josie almost dessicating MG a good sign? explain your logic Alaric Saltzman

HOPE TO THE RESCUE! (what else is new)

speaking of arcs that are getting old fast - lizzie being the selfish twin one minute then a better person the next. WHICH IS IT? wait, i don’t care.

soooo all of this is to bring on the merge? why exactly? 

how convenient that Alaric was the one sentenced to the box..what if it worked and he’d trapped Josie there? would it just be like Jumanji? “sorry kid, you’re grounded so into the jungle you go”

on that note, check out the knockoff Indiana Jones

ha i knew Lizzie would make a Voldemort reference at some point.

training montage! (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

oh thank god it wasn’t real

Chad you’re precious and the only character worth watching on this show

jfc the necromancer has almost as many titles as Daenerys

how did Josie know where to go? and how could she think he’d been taller if she only just asked him who tf he was? was that just meant to be witty? because it wasn’t

Raf having sudden flashbacks is a plot b that’s unnecessary unless it somehow ties into the overall plot. which, given who the writer is, wouldn’t surprise me in the least because he’s otherwise unimportant in the Josie is evil storyline

behold Josie the queen of eavesdropping and enigmatic one-liners, lord of deus ex machina timing 

well Alyssa’s dead so at least ONE good thing came out of the episode (was that too mean? do i care?)

oh look that werewolf douche who only shows up every other episode!

damn Hope you could’ve at least let him bring the crossbow with him..also how tf did he know where to look to find said crossbow? 

Dr Hawkins??? what is that accent??? does he not recognize him??? wtf i don’t understand the rules of this jungle

great encouragement Landon but not actually helpful

where’d the arena come from? and how did werewolf douche (weredouche? douchewolf?) think the Necromancer is dead if he should’ve been forgotten due to Malivore? wouldn’t the correct assumption be WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY??

yay, more convenient timing and dramatic entrances. as if this episode didn’t have enough of those every other scene

uh...what just happened? let me get this straight..one minute Alaric is Indiana Jonesing with clearly no memory of Kaleb and now he remembers because he read some words that suddenly appeared on a wall? 

how could Raf have died by the tree if he’s clearly alive right now? how are ANY of them alive after that fire Josie set at the end of the last episode?

jfc this episode has so much convenient timing! of course Hope is fine because she’s the heroine and no way would Lizzie let her be staked by the evil twin.

Landon says what i’m thinking about Raf’s plot. i..don’t have anything more to add to this after watching the whole dock scene. the drama is just...too stupid for words

how did Alaric get out of the box and how did he know where to go when he’s been trapped in the jungle?

damn..Alyssa came back.

if this was plan B then why did they even need a plan A?

Raf and Landon are supposed to be this show’s Salvatores, i’m just sayin

nevermind guess Landon’s dead..where was Raf hiding the arrow??

well next week’s glimpse is apparently based on fairy tales which does make sense with that being the book MG gave her. not really looking forward to that episode either but hey i’ve come this far..

rating 3/10. lower than last week’s with still room to get lower!

[pandoraimperatrix]

Four Names for Love

Gotham | BatCat | BabyFic | Multi-chapter | Read on AO3

Summary: When Bruce parted ways with Gotham he was leaving behind more than he thought. Meanwhile Selina is trying to find a way to herself after being abandoned again and on top of that she finds out she was left with a lot more than a heartbreak.

Agape part II

 Selina left Haven and her trashed room behind. That life she was leading there was a dream, but now she was back to reality and she reminded herself that she was good at reality, well, not good, but she had survived on her own until this point, and she would not give up now.

She bitterly remembered those nights when they whispered plans for the future under the covers, the life they would have together. He talked the most, she listened, rolled her eyes at his silly romantic boy ways. But how nice was to believe that there will be a future, that there was more than live one day each. So much bullshit. How could she let herself believe in all that crap?

‘I guess I am young and stupid.’

She breathed in, held for a little, let it out. She haven’t eaten yet. But that she was used to. That was good. Hunger. She knew hunger. She knew how to deal with it. It was simple; it was real, not like the stupid dreams, the unreachable yearnings that didn’t belong to someone like her.

She just have to rob herself a dinner.

But Gotham was a very different city from before. If it was a rotting carcass before, rich enough to feed street rats like her all sort of vermin, now only the naked bones remained. And it wasn’t like the rich people would come back anytime soon. What was left was the miserable and the poor.

She couldn’t rob people that have nothing. Could she?

How could she know that morals were also a kind of STD? Tabitha never told her, but she wouldn’t know that either.

Fucking rich asshole.

 Her old squat was a stinky hole, there was cat pee and cat poo e v e r y w h e r e, but no cats, not anymore.

But she guessed she deserved that after abandoning her babies. At least there was running water again. Stomach howling, Selina cleaned. Stomach calling her dirty dirty names, Selina lay in her ruined cot, she had stripped the sheets and flipped over the mattress but it still stank like hell.

She needed clean beddings. Where the fuck would she get that?

The next day she was so hungry her stomach gave up hurting.      She tried to stop thinking about what the other kids like her would say when they were trying to find something eatable in the dumpsters behind junk food restaurants, that if you didn’t eat the walls of your stomach would stick together and fold and you would die.

Kids were like that, they liked to scare each other even when reality was scary enough.

By noon she had found a broken vending machine that somehow still have a single gummy bears package, and she was really impressed when she noticed that it wasn’t expired. Maybe that would feed everyone post-apocalypse: children snacks with free nutritional value. That was a happy thought, see, she was thriving.

She knew that now the government was sending help there was probably a soup kitchen of sorts back in Haven, but she would rather boil her own leather jacket and eat it than stand the pity looks everyone would send her there.

 Selina tried to contact the people from her old background network and to her surprise, she discovered that not much have changed there.

‘I mean, No Man’s Land? Pfff. We were already living in warlike conditions way before that. Not all of us found ourselves billionaire boyfriends and cop pals.’

She deserved that, but she still punched him for good measures. In that life no disrespect should be treated lightly.

There she found out that there was one place that haven’t been completely cleaned out yet, the Drake Mansion. Well, must of it was scraped clean, but there was one vault that no one was able to get in. Selina smiled when she heard that. Finally.

 Of course the dammed mansion had to next to the demolished Wayne one. She ignored the feeling of her heart sinking when she saw the pile of rubbles, turned her face away. That place, that life, it didn’t matter anymore. She climbed the Drake Mansion tall iron fence with practiced ease, yes, that was what she was good at. That was her, not Selina Kyle the hero, Selina Kyle the thief. The Selina Kyle that cared for what was really important: herself.

The door was ajar and imposed no difficulty for her to get inside. The whole place was trashed and it was clear that someone was there before because it held nothing of value, nothing that could be traded for food or melted into ammo. That, Selina thought, was reality.  That was what people really amounted to in the end. Surviving.

She walked through the bare corridors, in some of them even the wallpaper was ripped off, to make fire, she thought, smart.

‘If I were a rich prick where would I hide a secret vault?’ she whispered to herself. Basement? Attic? A secret passed in the library? Behind a grandfather clock?  

Well, there was no grandfather clock, and all the books were gone from the shelves so she couldn’t just pick one and the secret passage would open like in a Scooby Doo episode. She wished she had pressed for more information. Geez, her head was pounding, her body had really get used to that eating everyday thing. There was nothing in the basement, just trash and what looked like it was one abandoned squat. How could someone have chosen to be in that creepyass place? And it was freezing!

She was getting really annoyed and was ready to climb to the attic when she noticed something moving with the corner of her eye. Selina rested her hand on her bullwhip slowly and walked towards it. It moved again. With luck was just a rat. It moved once more and let out a squeal, a very human one. Not a rat then.

She rolled her eyes, nothing that made that sound could possibly be dangerous.

‘Come on out!’

Nothing.

‘If you don’t then I will have to go there and I don’t think you will like it.’

The shadow rustled a bit, and them it tried to make a run to the stairs.

Selina cracked her whip blocking their way.

It was a girl. Around her same age. She was wearing a long dirty wool skirt a pile of coats that with the addition of the enormous backpack she had on made her look very small despite her actual size, she was taller than Selina, her hair was brown and oily. She had her back to Selina.

‘Turn around! Who are you?’

She turned surprised.

‘Selina?’

Selina frowned.

‘Do I know you?’

‘It’s me, Paul! Paul Milligan. Well, it’s Nikki now.’

Selina blinked confused and then the girl walked closer, Selina’s hand held the bullwhip harder, but she didn’t strike again. The thin light bean coming from upstairs washed the stranger’s face.

‘Oh my god! It’s you!’ She couldn’t help the smile. ‘What the fuck you’re doing here? Didn’t they find you a good family last time? And Nikki? What is that? A stripper name?’

Her old friend laughed lightly.

‘It’s for Nichole, my parents chose it. The new ones.’

‘What happened?’

‘They died. The building they worked was one of those that blew up.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Yeah, me too. But hey, you’re looking good.’

‘Can’t say the same.’

Nikki laughed again, thing time more whole-heartily.

‘I missed you, Cat.’

‘Sheesh. So…’ She pointed to the cot on the corner of the room. ‘You’re squatting here?’

‘No, nooo. I’m here to do the same as you, I guess. The vault?’

Selina sighed, great. She was happy to see Nikki and all but that was the last thing she needed right now, competition.

‘Look, Nikki…’

‘No, listen, Selina. I know you work alone, but hear me out, I don’t think this is a work for just one person.’

‘And why is that?’

Nikki looked up.

‘I’ve been studying this place for a while… I you need to go up there to open the vault down here. It has this very complicated computer system, but I think I can hack it.’

‘But there is no power here, how is this computer system even on?’

‘I think they have a generator.’

‘Shit.’

Selina was good at a lot of things, but she had no idea of how to deal with that nerd stuff.

‘Hey, we can collab. For the old times?’

Selina met Nikki on Gotham’s Children Center where Selina was thrown time after time when she was rejected by some foster family or simple picked up from the streets when she fled. Nikki, then Paul, was this sad little nerd that Selina took a like into because she helped her to learn to read in exchange for protection from the other kids that beat her up regularly and called her slurs. When Selina was ten, Nikki, then eight, left the GCC to live with this nice suburban family and Selina heard that she was adopted later. She was happy for her friend at the time, but also jealous, she wasn’t the only one. She after hearing some boys saying really disgusting things about her friend she decided to discount her frustration by beating the shit out of them and fleeing GCC again before getting a punishment. They didn’t try to bring her back after that.

Nikki was still waiting an answer with those big brown eyes of her.

Selina rolled her eyes and sighed.

‘Okay, fine. What do I have to do?’

 Turns out that was a lot of money in that vault. A lot.

‘What are going to do with your share?’ Asked Nikki, she still looked dumpy but now her cheeks were a healthy red and she had a gleam of happiness in her eyes.

‘I’m leaving Gotham.’

‘What?’

‘Why? Is it so hard to believe that I want nothing to do with this shitty place?’

‘No, it’s just… I head about you…and Bruce Wayne.’

Selina winced at the sharp pain hearing his name brought.

‘That is over. He is gone.’

‘He died?!’

Despite herself Selina almost laughed. She missed Nikki, she had a childlike way to say things, and she was always jumping to extreme conclusions, it was endearing.

‘No, you moron. He left.’

‘Oh… I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be. I don’t care. I don’t care about him.’

Nikki said nothing.

‘What about you? What are you going to do with yours?’ Asked Selina.

‘Where will you go?’

‘Why?’

‘Do you think you could use some company?’

 So this was the first part. I’m really glad for the views, kudos, bookmark and comment. You guys are great!

Next chapter might be a bit raunchy XDD Lots of flashbacks of Selina and Bruce in Heaven.

[confused-bi-nerd]

Ok so it's like 2 in the morning but you know what I'm f*cking desperate for?

Modern day Anne with an E

I mean obviously the original historical context is just f*cking awesome.

But picture Anne being an incredible badass feminist bi icon. (Does she have a youtube channel? Who knows???? That'd be cool...)

Her new family, two pretty "traditionally" raised siblings at first have a hard time with her and her identity and intensity about everything. (When dont they though right)

She doesn't even have to be a "mistake." Nowadays with cellphones and stuff a confusion like that would be impossible. But maybe she just ran away because the orphanage was abusive af and kept sending her to sh*tty homes.

And honestly if Matthew doesn't have asperger/autism/down but it went ignored cause "we just don't talk about it" but Anne came and was like "that's f*cked up were getting you diagnosed and treated Matthew dammit" then what even is the point.

Diana being raised in a really harsh and severe family so she's afraid her mom will find out about her best friend being, well, her. (No, they are not dating, they're BFFs as originally just that Diana's mom sucks even more in the actual timeline.)

Honestly I just LOVE Anne and Diana's friendship. Like they've literally known each other for one day and they already have this deep bond, they truly are kindred spirits. I think Diana wouldn't even have a hard time accepting Anne; she would just be relieved she could finally explore herself. (Ace-Di-ana-Ace-Di-ana)

Cole (yes, Cole, book and series mixture S u C k I t) being openly gay and spending a lot of his time just laying low at Anne's because his parents also s u c k. (Uhhh maybe then he just realises he doesn't HAVE TO go back to his sh*tty parents and moves with aunt Jo, the Eccentric City Lesbian tm) (And also honestly let's say f*ck it and go all out: Cole with eyeliner)

Man they'd probably sneak around a lot talking about all this "forbidden stuff". Cole would join them whenever they were at Anne's (most of the time anyways) because Diana's mom knows his mom and there's no way in hell he'd risk crossing her way.

Mr IDKwhat (that teacher dating a student) being an ACTUAL pedophile and it being f*cking reported and shut down. (Yes I realize this was era appropriate but SURPRISE, stuff changed)

OMG GUYS MISS STACY

I could make a whole post about miss Stacy alone but lets just go with badass lesbian teacher who actively fights the school and the parents, takes bs from no one and basically adopts all of her students in need.

Also let's be honest, the Barrys would probably be this really wealthy family with a bigass house in the suburbs and they'd all own IPhones or some sh*t and the Cuthberts would be this regular middle class family with an inherited little house in a not-so-awesome-but-still-pretty-nice neighbourhood; so Diana's mom already isn't a big fan of Anne because a) "she's a freaking street orphan for God's sake" and b) "her ClAsS isn't exactly the SaMe as ours Diana dEaR". So imagine if she found out her _perfect older daughter's_ two best friend are queer icons one of them being "a BoY wHo WeArS mAkEuP" *scandalized old British lady accent*

And I can totally picture Anne with this really weird pet, like a mouse or a small bird or one of those extrangely small cats that you can carry in your pocket and her talking to it and it really looks like a conversation to outsiders. (Because it is, they're discussing the latest episode of a show or planning a prank on Cole's stupid homophobic mom)

Let's be honest, Anne would be the BIGGEST fan of Rent. I'm talking memorizing both songs AND dialogue and having a thousand fan theories she'd be able to defend against rain and wind. (This one was originally drafted during my Rent phase, geez it is a great musical though)

OMG GUYS JERRY AND DIANA. I'm talking Jerry being an old friend of Anne's (Orphanage? Foster home? The streets? We'll see...) and him falling HARD for Diana. (Not the same plot as the series though, I know it wouldn't have been possible back then but they'd totally stay together in MY self indulgent AU of everything. Still would exist the class issues and the Anne-Diana fight about it, bonus point if Jerry ends up Latino cause I want more representation man)

Maybe this part being on them more advanced on their life (Maybe the whole thing could be more advanced? Like directly starting with them at 16 or stg??? Cause like they are all sounding way too independent for twelve year olds) so Cole already moved to an apartment in the city near aunt Jo but all in all being independent and pushing through despite his terrible TERRIBLE parenting. And like both Anne AND Diana going to him with their class issues fight (Is Cole Latino/African American? I'd like that.... Let's say so it's my 2:40 am fantasy after all) and him being all surprised because a) He was most definitely NOT expecting them b) This two never fight about anything and c) Diana and Jerry? Geez how long was he away?

And I would legitimate M u R d E r someone for their yelling match across Cole's apartment being interrupted by like a male voice asking "Cole where is X thing?" And Anne and Diana like "I thought you'd been living alone this two years (two years, let's say so my brain is shutting down) since leaving aunt Jo's" and Cole being like "you've also missed a lot" And essentially that's how they meet Cole's boyfriend who doesn't understand a thing but rolls with it because he finally gets to meet famous Avonlea friends (the neighbourhood should be called Avonlea or among those line at least)

Anne and Gilbert WILL end up together cause I honestly think they're meant to be they just compliment each other but like maybe while fighting her totally obvious inner crush she'd date a few people, some girls, some boys, just casually bi-ing by but like settling but still being bi cause that's just real bi people

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[yoshimickster]

RWBY VOL 6 Episode 3 “The Lost Fable”-THE ULTIMATE ORIGIN OF ULTIMATE DARKNESS-Recap

HEY EVERYBODY-how’s you’re day going? My computer blue-screened RIGHT BEFORE I could hit save so I’m gonna redo the WHOLE thing. Remember to save folks. EITHER WEITHER-let’s get to Mickster Recap!

The episode starts out with BACKSTORY TIME-where its revealed Salem was a princess locked away in a castle by her cruel father during the good old days, where the only thing keeping her busy is manipulating arcane magic.

2:07 Salem: *SIGH* What good is being able to shoot energy blasts if there’s no bad guy to blast them with?!

BUT LUCKILY-a HERO arrives on the scene-TO RESCUE THE FAIR DAMSEL-and his NAME-

-was OZ...ma. Ozma was his name...does he just happen to reincarnate into anyone with the syllable “oz” or “ma” in their name? THAT is a weird rule.

ALSO-look at confused as fuck Qrow here, he’s all “Uh...hi.” OH-he’s gonna drink himself into a coma after all of this is done.

BUT-not only does Ozma BRAVE the evil forces of the castle to reach Salem for ONLY pure motives(Jinn said so so its true)-HE ALSO-

2:49 LET’S SALEM IN ON THE BLASTING-like a TRUE gentleman!

The act of kindness of giving her her freedom, and Salem...just being Salem, cause the two to FALL in love!

3:13 ....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand kiss! KISS! KISS DAMMIT! Seriously, what IS IT with this show and its “No-kissing” policy, its WEIRD.

Either weither, Salem and Ozma go off on LOADS of adventures-UNTIL-

3:36-when Ozma got sick with a FATAL case of “Unnamed TV disease”. CURSE YOU UNNAMED TV DISEASE-you’ve taken FAR too many lives!

Salem in her grief decides to seek out the god of Light and Creation in the LAND of light(what is this Homestuck?)to bring him back to life-AND-

4:38 -it is DOWNRIGHT beautiful, obviously inspired by Japanese scenery and it just WORKS. SHAME this is where the doom of man kind came to begin.

The god of light than reveals himself to Salem, WHO REVEALS HIMSELF TO BE-

4:51 ANTLER JESUS-a WEIRD mix of Japanese deer spirits, and as I’ve said-JESUS-

-SEE?! Water-walking, full package.

Antler Jesus than gives Salem the same spiel we’ve heard about ressurecting the dead we’ve heard a million times, gotta respect the balance what-not, bla bla bla-GIVE HER BACK HER HUSBAND YOU MONSTER!

BUT-ol’ Mr.Light rose petals her away telling her to let it go, but ain’t NOTHIN’ gon’ stop her from getting her man back, so its time to make a DEAL with the devil in REMNANT HELL-

-which is also in its own way VERY beautiful, nice use of dark colors and purple, kinda looks like Cybertron when it was infected by Dark Energon!

Salem’s here to seek  out the God of Darkness, whom after seeing Antler Jesus’ striking albeit minimalist god form, I’M SURE-the god of Darkness’ form isn’t utterly creep-

6:20 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND welcome to your nightmares for the next few months folks, Purple Satan is here and he is HERE FOR YOUR SOUL!

Salem then asks Mauvisto(Get it, like Mephisto but with Mauve?) to bring back Ozma, ALL while not bringing up that she asked Antlers first. The dark being agrees because he’s just SO happy someone is giving him praise for once, why does his BROTHER get all the praise JUST because he didn’t create a race of empathic eldritch beasts whose only purpose is to cause as much misery and destruction as possible? Un-GRATE-ful is what those humans are!

Purple Haze than brings back Ozma-WITH-

6:57 THE POWER OF PURPLE! PRAISE HIS GRAPELY EMINENCE! 

After Oz has a BRIEF freak-out over no longer being in the land of the dead-GUESS WHO SHOWS UP?!

*CRACKA BOOM*

7:12

Mauvisto: OKAY EVERYONE-party’s over, AJ’s gonna kill it with ANOTHER of his lectures.

AntlerJesus: Don’t you give me that tone.

Mauvisto: WHATEVER YOU’RE NOT EVEN MY DAD-GAH!

I joke, but that is BASICALLY how it went down.

AJ than rose-petals away Ozma to preserve order-

Oz:...S...Salem...I don’t feel so good.

Seriously y’all, I BETTER see some Thanos memes from this episode.

BUT-the elder brother forgets the younger brother still has the POWER OF PURPLE!

PRAISE TO THE PURPLE! Either way, Mauvisto is NOT happy about that which starts-

8:19 A DRAGON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT-or does it?!

ACTUALLY no, AJ tells Mauvisto that Salem went to HIM first, and after he told her he wouldn’t resurrect her hubby, she tryed to manipulate him into going behind AJ’s back. Mauvey than apologizes to his best bro the BEST way possible...WITH A PURPLE DEATH BLAST!

8:48

The Purple giveth, and the purple taketh away.

Salem is NOT happy about this, and EVEN tries to THREATEN the god’s with her magic-BUT-AntlerJesus than gives her a chance to cool off by-

9:15 ...drowning her from a million miles in the air. MAN-the Super God Bros don’t fuck a-ROUND do they?

9:26 ACTUALLY no, by dunking her in the pool of light, the Gods curse her with immortality, unable to see her sweet Baboo Ozma EVER again, and will only die once she accepts the importance of life and death. 

Salem than does the most logical thing after being cursed by two immortal beings who think cursing someone with immortality is a COMPLETELY rational response to wasting like...WHAT five minutes of their time, AND RALLIES AN ARMY to take on the gods!

11:24 It should also be noted that this army...and all of humanity are just TWO WEEKS from retirement!

The army than BLASTS Mauvisto, with a beautiful display of firework-I MEAN-magic attacks-

11:56 I’m just gonna assume since it was the old days, people weren’t as creative with magic as they could be. BUT-because Mauvisto is a friggin’ GOD-

-he PURPLIZES all the magic into one handy dandy ball! What the hell CAN’T purple do?!

Either way, as an ancient omnipotent being, I’M SURE he’ll give them all a just and fair punishm-

12:12...OR just nuke everyone, whatever works for you Satanic Purple Beerus!

Salem of course due to her immortality is NOT ONLY the only one in her army to survive the blast, but ALSO the only HUMAN who survived the blast! GEEZE-Mauvisto, ain’t that a little harsh? I get it, you hate Salem, but what did all those side-characters who DIDN’T go against you do? BUT-enough about that-NAME ORIGIN TIME-

12:51 AntlerDragon: This planet, was a beautiful experiment, but it is merely a Remnant of what it once was. 

DAH-they said the name of the continent-HUZZAH!

Either way, both bros decide to leave the planet to create OTHER Avatar meets Soul Eater meets X-men meets Harry Potter worlds. AJ leaves in a BEAUTIFUL yellow mist-

13:08

While Mauvisto leaves in the most OVER THE TOP way he POSSIBLY could.

Mauvisto: SUCK IT SHORTY!

13:21 HUH-guess Atlas Arcadium Rex DIDN’T destroy the moon from Rwby. Sorry folks, your shared universe headcanon is DEAD! DEAD!

13:41 Salem than takes a GOOD long walk throughout ALL of the planet now named Remnant, until after an ETERNITY of walking decides she deserves a GOOD soak!

14:04 IN the God of Darkness’s POOL of darkness! MMM-look at those bubbles, bet they’re NICE and warm!

But seriously, after EONS of roaming the Earth alone, she figures that since the fountain of life gave her eternal life, the pools of Grimm with finally kill her, ending her suffering...but we WEREN’T all so lucky were we?

INSTEAD-the pool recreates her from a being of infinite life, to a being of infinite life who wants PURE destruction!

14:33 DAMN she looks scary, and that’s not even her FINAL form!

A THEN CUT TO-

14:43

OZMA-having himself a NICE nap in the eternal void of nothingness! Honestly if I died, brought back to life, killed, brought back to life, and then killed a SECOND time I’d want one hell of a nap as well.

BUT-for realsies, AntlerJesus pulls Ozma into a void between worlds to curse him for all eternity to fight his now corrupted wife-I MEAN-give him a chance to return to the land of the living! Yeah...THAT! Where APPARENTLY humans will come back again in time...presumably...NOT made by the god of creation? SO...is this a world where humans are made by gods...OR evolution? HUH-well if THAT ain’t a neat bit of science-fantasy!

15:56

Its ALSO here where we learn what happens when all four relics are brought together, that they’ll summon BOTH god brothers back to Remnant and judge humanity. If they’s chill, its ALL good, but if they AIN’T chill-BYE BYE REMNANT!

Either way, despite hearing his honey Salem won’t be the same anymore, OZMA accepts and REINCARNATES INTO-

17:40 THIS GUY...whose name iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis?

18:01

Oz?: GRIMM STAB!

QUIT DODGING THE QUESTION YOU-what’s your name?!

Rando: Thank you! Please, tell me your name, who are you?

SEE-he’s got the right ideal-TELL US DAMN YOU!

18:17 Oscar:...he didn’t know.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH that sucks. I’m not sure if it means he over-wrote his host’s memories or what, either way the reaction on Oz’s face says it all.

AFTER the Grimm attack, Unnamed Ozma reincarnation takes a page out of his lady’s book and GOES on a walk, where he sees the world has CHANGED completely!

With LACKLUSTER architecture-

-enSLAVEment of the new Faunus race and WORST of all-

18:33 -PEOPLE HAD TO USE DUST INSTEAD OF MAGIC!

Blake:...why wasn’t my people’s early enslavement not saved for last? Like it was only the SECOND worst thing?

Jinn: Look I just put it in order of what he saw okay, gimme a break!

Turns out, only Ozma2 and a MYSTERIOUS woman known only as “The Witch” could do magic, WHERE SHE IS FOUND-

18:41 In this GHETTO ass shack! COME ON SALEM-you’re immortal, you seriously tryna tell me you don’t got time to make a nicer house?!

Ozma2 than logically assumes the witch is Salem and goes to see what she has become, AND IT IS REVEALED-

Ozma2:(OH NO SHE’S HOT!)

19:27 AND it turns out that both of them recognize each other-CAUSE THAT’S THE POWER OF LOVE!

Salem and Ozma than tell each other all the CRAZY shenanigans that have been going down in their lives while hiding their SECRET backstories-WHILE THEY ALSO-

19:40 -FINALLY fix up that old shack! Fixed up the windows, got a deck table and chairs, re-varnished the wood, if THAT don’t help out property values I don’t know WHAT will!

Also during their convo Salem fearing Ozma would hate her, blamed the end of the world SOLELY on the gods...well...I mean TECHNICALLY it was, she raised only ONE small army against the gods, and instead of punishing JUST those humans they killed EVERYBAH-I feel she could be honest.

The days went by, Salem and Ozma enjoyed their happy lives, having logically an INFINITE amount of sex, until one day SALEM SAID(paraphrased)

20:18 

Salem: Okay hear me out, WHAT IF-we act like gods, and be the NEW AntlerJesus and Mauvisto?!

Ozma:...okay I am SO sure that won’t work but I am INSANELY attracted to you so LET’S DO IT!

21:07 SO it appears they live on as gods and nothing else crazy happe-

21:33...bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbby MAIDENS! THE FOUR MAIDENS WERE THE DAUGHTERS OF OZMA AND SALEM! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY god damned shit-THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING-probably, for all we know Oz gave four COMPLETELY DIFFERENT young girls magical powers. But enough about that-

21:38 LOOK AT THEM! LOOK AT HOW LOVING THEY LOOK! CURSE YOU ANTLER JESUS AND MAUVISTO-the world is FUCKED because you refused to let my new OTP be HAPPY!

But sadly, all good things must come to an end, as during their plans Ozma has second thoughts on their quest to reshape the world given the destruction they cause, which PROMPTS Oz-

22:02 -to start, with the maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan in the mirror (OH YEAH) and he’s asking him to chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaange his ways(COME ON CHANGE)!

But for realsies, he then remembers the great quest the god of light gave him-BUT THEN-

22:21 DAW-baby’s first use of the dark arts!

HRNGH-LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT HOW PROUD SHE IS OF HER BABY GIRL! DAMMIT SALEM-you’re supposed to be the evil Sorceress Supreme, you have NO business looking adorable!

SO-I guess they go their magic powers from their parents, I wander what else they go-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT IF-Oz’s daughters didn’t just inherit their magic...BUT ALSO-Oz’s CURSE to forever reincarnate across the Earth like he did?! THAT’S WHY THEIR CONNECTED TO THE FOUR RELICS-probably, like I said there’s still the possibility of the story still be being true-HELL-maybe the maiden spell merged the four girls souls with those of his daughters?

AFTER the adorablenes, Ozma FINALLY decides to be an honest husband for once and tells Salem of the four relics and the judgement day that would occur if they were ever brought together, which Salem basically responds with-

22:51 Salem: You know what?! Let’s take the relics and make our OWN human race, with BLACKJACK! AND HOOKERS! And you know what? FORGET THE HUMAN RACE! KILL ALL HUMANS!

Yes, I am now headcanoning Salem as witch Bender from now all on-TRY AND STOP ME!

This logically upsets Oz, so he decides to calmly and rationally talk with his wife-

...OR take the kids and run without telling her only to get caught, because LORD KNOWS he couldn’t just get a marriage counselor to talk about their problems...seriously, this was ye olden times, the concept probably wasn’t invented yet.

22:34And sadly, it appears this is where everything ended between Ozma and Salem-

23:42 LITERALLY EVEN-everything between them in the castle has been destroyed! INCLUDING-

...don’t...don’t make me make a joke about this sub-conscious...tis too sad.

The battle/divorce ends with Salem winning RIGHT before saying this-

23:58 “...we finally...had freedom.”

AND...there’s TWO ways to look at that. That either A.) With the knowledge of the god’s relics, they could do the same thing the god’s did but without their rules or the metaphorical outlook B.) They were free BEFORE Oz told her about the relics...because than the god’s power wouldn’t keep controlling their lives. The latter I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean but to me...I think that’s true.

Salem than finally takes out Ozma2-

-with a Super SMASH bros meme no less! Don’t lie, you know who you are Gifmakers, AND YOU DISGUST ME! PERISH IN FLAMES!

After this, Oz takes the break up PRETTY badly-

24:10 -going on sad graveyard walks-

24:17 Drinking near paintings of empty liquor bottles.

24:21 ULTIMATELY getting out of his funk when he reincarnates as a nice swarthy individual and a bad ass new cane!

Even finally starts dating again and settles down with this nice lady, WAY TO GET BACK ON THAT HORSE BUDDY! BUT-just like in real life, the evidence of his ex STILL haunted his life-

24:37 In the form of monster raids no less! That’s break-up aftermath for ya.

Oz than realizes he has to bury the ex(literally) and goes out to find the FOUR RELICS-

25:00 ...in his next life as a hipster for some reason! Cleh, he’s an immortal soul-symbiote, he has time. 

He seeks out knowledge first and asks her where the other relics are, what could they do, and how could he kill Salem(in that order)? The first two answers we don’t know...but the THIRD one one we do-

Jinn: You can’t.

And the episode ends-

-with Oscarpin giving himself a good sit in despair.

So...yeah...HOLY SHIT-there’s a lot to take away here! For ONE-its interesting noting how tragic a villain Salem was, and how Oz spent so much time avoiding his fate because he just wanted to be with the woman he loved. FURTHERMORE-its neat how Salem is now like, Lord Garmadon in that destructive impulses BURN through her veins...but also like Lord Garmadon, she was still able to love. Sadly though...her worse impulses got the best of her, and now she has nothing to do but move forward and Thanos the planet, because there is NO going back to the good old days.

I’m Yoshimickster, and this was Micksterecap, and I hope your lives are filled with joy and happiness, and that you don’t become the toys of fate. Thank you, and have a pleasant night.

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[fyeahbatcat]

Batman Annual 2: A Romantic Opus About the Transcendence of Love

This past Wednesday, DC Comics released the highly anticipated Batman Annual #2, by Tom King with art by Lee Weeks and Michael Lark. The issue, which promised to “see the early days of the Bat and the Cat”, went far above and beyond a mere Batman and Catwoman date night tale. A story that is less dense in plot but rich in narrative with truly amazing art and breathtaking coloring, the Annual is an emotional game changer that easily inserts itself as one of the greatest Batman and Catwoman stories of all time and opens the door for much broader implications for the future of Bat and Cat.

The Rebirth of the Bat and the Cat

After more than half a decade spent on the back-burner (the way back-burner) writer Tom King has spent much of his eighteen month tenure as the Batman head-writer reestablishing the relationship between Batman and Catwoman. He made it clear that the relationship would be a major focal point in the Batman books, rather than the standard obligatory romantic subplot when he made the surprising decision to have Batman propose to Catwoman earlier this year. Perhaps even more surprisingly Catwoman accepted Batman’s proposal after a long wait. 

The relationship between Batman and Catwoman is long and ever changing. It began in Batman #1 in 1940 as flirtatious frenemies and was established as a canon relationship during the Bronze Age under the tutelage of Len Wein. The relationship broke out of the comics in the 1990s and went on to become one of DC Comics’ most recognized and popular relationships. Having been featured in two live-action television shows, three movies, countless animated series, and thousands of comics the romance between Gotham’s hard line crime-fighter and most infamous femme fatale endeared themselves to fans and writers alike and the relationship was allowed to be pushed forward. In 2003 during the Hush storyline by Jeph Loeb, in a demonstration of trust Batman revealed his identity to Catwoman for the first time. During the time that followed the relationship received more focus and development than in previous eras. However, by the time the Pre-Flashpoint era ended in 2011 things ended between Batman and Catwoman in the finale of the Gotham City Sirens series where it usually ended: in limbo. 

Unfortunately, the succeeding era, New 52, saw a baffling destruction of DC’s legacies. Legacies were eliminated, histories were changed, and some characters were erased altogether. Romance was hit particularly hard and nearly every DC relationship was eradicated. Superman and Lois Lane’s fifteen year marriage was wiped out and Lois was virtually exiled from the Superman universe. Green Arrow and Black Canary became strangers and remained that way much to the ire of fans. Although Wonder Woman’s original love interest, Steve Trevor, returned to the comics more prominently than he had been in the previous era, Wonder Woman was quickly shuffled into a relationship with Superman. 

In an embarrassing episode in 2013 DC made their new stance on romance abundantly clear when Batwoman writers, W. Haden Black and J.H. Williams III, abruptly resigned from the critically acclaimed, best-selling series after DC refused to allow the titular character to marry her longtime partner and other instances of editorial interference. DC Comics was accused of homophobia and many fans vowed to stop reading the comics. Responding to the controversy, Co-Publisher Dan Didio, said in no uncertain terms that marriage was forbidden at DC Comics. 

They put on a cape and cowl for a reason. They’re committed to defending others — at the sacrifice of all their own personal instincts. That’s something we reinforce. If you look at every one of the characters in the Batman family, their personal lives kind of suck…Tim Drake, Barbara Gordon, and Kathy Kane — it’s wonderful that they try to establish personal lives, but it’s also just as important that they put it aside as they know what they are accomplishing as the hero takes precedence over everything else. That is our mandate, that is our edict, that is our stand with our characters.

Batman and Catwoman absolutely languished during this time. Their relationship which had previously been loving and trusting was reduced to an insulting cross between virtual strangers and friends with benefits. For five years DC Comics seemingly did everything they could think of to avoid the relationship and fans took notice. In 2015 after a series of failed relaunches, a two year sales low, and an increasing market lag behind Marvel it became clear that New 52 had failed to attract and sustain the audience that DC had hoped for in 2011. With the DCEU taking off, mediocrity was no longer an option. In 2016 DC announced Rebirth, yet another relaunch, this time promising for a return to the old and in many ways it did. Superman and Lois Lane’s marriage was restored and a son, Jon, came in addition. Steve Trevor was once again a prominent supporting character in Wonder Woman as well as her main love interest. Even Midniter and Apollo made a comeback. 

Batman and Catwoman did not reunite as instantaneously as many had hoped. They were featured in a series of poorly timed variant covers at the start of Rebirth but Catwoman had yet to make any appearances. Relatively new DC writer, Tom King, was announced as the Batman main writer and at New York Comic Con he teased that Catwoman was to become the co-lead of Batman. Catwoman’s eventual debut in Batman #9 as a mass murderer facing the death penalty did not warrant a positive response and diminished the hopes of many fans that Rebirth would be a kinder era to Catwoman and Batman and Catwoman’s relationship. Although it was expected by many that this newest revelation was likely a red herring, after five years of New 52 their patience was wearing thin. 

Meanwhile Batman and Catwoman teamed up to invade Bane’s sanctuary to kidnap Psycho Pirate, an encounter that cumulated in the Rooftops arc. Catwoman’s innocence was finally revealed, and for the first time since Heart of Hush was published nearly a decade prior Batman and Catwoman declared their love for each other. While the jury is still out on King’s execution he has undeniably reestablished Batman and Catwoman as a canon romance. His tale is of two lonely, damaged orphans who see and accept the best and the worst in each other who despite their shared traumas find hope and happiness with each other. 

All of them can laugh. Mother. Father. Him. The whole world. They can see me in this idiocy and they can laugh and laugh and laugh. But you. Selina. Cat. You wouldn’t. Because you know. You know what this is…And you, Cat. You know. Because if you’ve made that choice, you can see it in another. You can see it in me. I can see it in you.

- Bruce Wayne to Selina Kyle in Batman #12

King’s interpretation of Batman and Catwoman’s relationship differs from almost every other writer’s interpretation because he doesn’t bog the relationship down with the will they/won’t they trope and hyper focus on juvenile sexual tension at the expense of substantial development. Rather than portray Batman and Catwoman as opposites that attract, he understands that they’re similar. 

They’re missing pieces in a puzzle and they understand each other in ways that other people can’t. “I need you,” Batman says before proposing to Catwoman for the first time in main canon history. 

Batman Annual #2

To appreciate the Annual is to appreciate Tom King’s Bat and Cat. The former half of the issue reiterates King’s consistent interpretation throughout his Batman run. Batman and Catwoman are orphans who see and understand each other in ways that other people don’t and are bonded by their trauma. 

Where King separates himself from other writers and takes his interpretation even further is in the second act of the book. An aged and married Bruce and Selina are living a happy albeit seemingly unextraordinary life retired from crime-fighting, and they even have an adult daughter who is operating as Batwoman. Things take a quick, heartbreaking turn when Bruce is inflicted by a nondescript illness. He’s dying and there’s plainly nothing to be done. Mortality is unavoidable. Bruce lived an extraordinary life and died a natural, ordinary, human death. 

The tragic part of Bruce’s death isn’t even the fact that he dies. What’s sad about it is how much Bruce and Selina don’t want to leave each other and how they try to stay strong for one another. Even though he is dying Bruce’s only concern is that after he passes Selina will be okay, and that she won’t be lonely. They both muse using magic and time travel to try to cheat death just so they can stay together. 

There are those who abhor what King has done to the Batman books by portraying a Bruce that is more vulnerable and driven by things other than crime fighting. Everyone has a favorite version and preference, but it’s baffling as to why anyone would think that something like marriage would take something away from who Batman is as a character or why anyone would think that Bruce is better off as a loner. To quote another blogger, “Geez, what do these people want for Bruce, anyway? For him to die alone and clinically depressed, his body marred and broken from decades of fighting Gotham’s never-ending crime wave?”

I always use the animated Batman Beyond as a litmus test for how Bruce ends up (Does this version of Bruce Wayne end up like Bruce Wayne in Batman Beyond?). In Batman Beyond he ends up a lonely, bitter old curmudgeon who all of his former partners despise and avoid. This is not the ending that Bruce deserves. The Annual portrays a Bruce who breaks the wheel of this portrayal. He dies a natural, wholly unremarkable death surrounded by love after living a long, happy life. It’s what he deserves. It’s the best ending any of us can hope for.

So how did a comic where nothing remarkable happens plot wise illicit such a strong emotional response from readers? It’s because of it’s simplicity that makes it so impactful. For nearly 80 years fans have been told that a simple, happy life for Bruce was asking too much. To finally get to see it happen feels like an affirmation. There is, however, more than enough evidence to indicate that this story is not a telling of Bruce and Selina’s ultimate ending but that this story features a Bruce and Selina of a presumably different universe. 

C’mon guys. Tom King made us wait four months just to find out if Selina said ‘yes.’ Did you really think he’d just tell us their entire life story in one issue? 

An Alternate Universe? 

There is an abundance of evidence within the Annual and the fact that it has been published concurrently with other major DC time altering events to deduce that this story is an AU in some form or another. 

The biggest clue to indicate this is a comment Bruce makes after learning that he his illness is terminal. He tells Selina to find Barry Allen (The Flash) and find another version of him that never marries to take care of her after he’s gone.  Probably the most well known modern Flash story is Flashpoint, where Barry Allen alters events and timelines by traveling back in time and changing history.  This allusion was intentional.  

One of the biggest themes of Rebirth has a whole is the idea of merging times and universes. Remember how New 52 Superman was killed off and replaced with a different version of himself? This is also coinciding with Doomsday Clock where Doctor Manhattan has essentially been experimenting with different realities and universes resulting in a merge of timelines, which published just one week before the Annual. This is not a coincidence.

The second clue is the appearance of Helena Wayne. 

As you we are all probably aware Helena Wayne is Bruce and Selina’s canonical daughter from Earth-2 who operates as the Huntress during in the Pre-Crisis and New 52 eras. Helena was last seen in Earth-2 Society, which ended publication in September, taking up the Batman mantle. Helena Wayne has never been part of the main universe, although many have hoped that she one day would be. This could just be a glimpse of things to come, but the appearance of any characters that are not from the main universe should raise red flags. Which brings me to the next clue. 

When Bruce is on his death bed he is seen surrounded by his loved ones. Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake, Duke Thomas, even Gotham Girl are all there. Damian Wayne is noticeably absent.  Damian was a pretty big factor in Bruce’s decision to seek happiness as he wanted to set a better example for his son as mentioned in The Button, which was also written by Tom King. Bruce even mentions to Thomas that he has a son (singular). He made it a point to single out Damian so it’s very doubtful that Damian being excluded would’ve gone unnoticed here.

In addition to Damian being nowhere in sight: don’t you think it’s a little bit weird that Damian isn’t there, but Carrie Kelly is?

Carrie Kelly, a prominent character in Frank Miller’s Dark Knight AU series, is a famously non-canonical character. As stated before the appearance of characters that are not from the main universe should indicate that things are not likely what they appear, especially when they are there in the absence of main universe characters. 

Annual issues are really a grab bag of canon. Sometimes they have an impact on the main stories going forward; sometimes they’re standalone stories. It all depends on what the writer wants to do with it. King has been mum about revealing what the Annual will mean for the future of the Batman books, but he did imply that some parts of the Annual will impact the story in the main universe. 

What Does This All Mean?

I seemed to have struck quite a few nerves when I pointed out that the Annual issue features an AU version of Bruce and Selina. I suppose some people were disappointed to realize this and felt like I was ruining the experience. With that said: the Annual issue features an AU version of Bruce and Selina. I do not say this to hurt anyone. I say this because well, for one thing that’s what the evidence indicates. Secondly, to ignore this misses the point of what the Annual is supposed to mean. 

To just accept that the Annual is just a quaint glimpse into the future where Bruce and Selina grow old together in some ways reduces the story to fluff that happens for no other reason than to make the readers feel good, which is the conclusion drawn by a few of the negative reviews. We as readers want to take comfort in knowing what the ultimate ending will be but that misses the point of the Annual entirely. Much of what King has done during his time on the Batman books is vitiate what we’ve come to accept as the status quo in regard to Batman and Catwoman’s relationship and the Batman books in general. 

Here’s what King said about changing the role of romance in the Batman books:

EW: In comics, there’s this general idea that superheroes shouldn’t be happy. We’ve seen this in Spider-Man, Bat-family, and other places. How did you pitch this story to DC Comics? Was there any pushback?

TK: No, because what you’re talking about is looking at happiness as the end of conflict, right? This idea that if a character is content, then there’s nothing dramatic about them and you don’t want a cliffhanger and you don’t want to turn the page. That’s my whole point as an artist — I’m trying to get you to turn a page. But what makes Batman unique is that happiness is, instead of being the end of conflict, the source of conflict. It’s something you haven’t seen before. You throw sadness, you throw depression, you throw horror at Batman, he’s like, “yeah, yawn, I’ve done that.” You throw happiness at him? That’s something that riles him, that’s something that he’s not used to. That’s throwing gas on a fire, and that’s always how I pitched it. This is not the end of something. This is the beginning of something.

Notably when King was asked how he would picture Batman and Catwoman’s marriage he gave a sincere response drawing inspiration from his own marriage rather than relying on the usual excuses for why the relationship wouldn’t work out that writers seem to default to. Compare that to Scott Snyder who said that Batman’s story would always be a tragedy or Dan Didio who said that superheros should be unhappy and issued a departmental ban on marriage.

Batman and Catwoman’s relationship has only marginally progressed in fifteen years. So many writers have hit the exact same rut when attempting to develop the relationship. No matter what the story, no matter who the writer, for one reason or another the relationship just doesn’t work out in the end and they’ve had to invent reasons for why. Batman is too immature. The Joker turns Catwoman evil. Because…reasons. We’ve accepted this as just how things are supposed to be for almost 80 years. If creators are unable to see the relationship beyond everything that’s already been done, then the relationship will never go anywhere. 

The Annual is intended to show us the type of life and relationship that Bruce and Selina can have if everyone abolishes their ideas of the relationship they’re expected to have. King is subverting the expectation of what everyone says their relationship must be like. “Batman and Catwoman can’t be together.” “Batman is only dedicated to his mission.” “Catwoman isn’t suited for married life; she’ll just get bored.” He is showing us that this type of life is possible for them. They can have a long happy life together, and the barriers that have prevented that in the past are simple imaginary.

The point King is trying to make is that even though this isn’t necessarily Prime Earth Batman and Catwoman’s story it still can be.

“I’m not sure it’s 100 percent out of canon,” King said. “…To me and to my Batman, this is a story that’s certainly possible. It’s something I think that could and may come true.” 

Even if this isn’t main universe Bruce and Selina’s story per se that doesn’t mean that it won’t be. This still very well might be their future. That door is not only still open; it’s probably been opened for the first time ever. 

The Timeline

Going by what was indicated in the Annual and by Rebirth’s theme of timeline and universe meshing my prediction is that it will be revealed that the current Catwoman of the main universe is actually from a different timeline or universe or something of the sort. For those who are perplexed by the idea of Selina being from a different universe I’ll remind you that the current Superman and Lois Lane are both versions from a different timeline.    

Some initial reactions to this prediction were quite negative with many believing that this somehow changes things. My question is why? In many ways this would seem symbolic of the longevity and range of Batman and Catwoman’s relationship. They have been and continue to be featured in every form of media for nearly eight decades, including a myriad of alternate universes. They were married on Earth-2 which is a version of them that DC Comics thought was within the realm of possibility but couldn’t quite commit to in the main universe. 

The fact that Bruce is confident that Selina would be happy with another version of himself shows that these versions of fundamentally the same and their feelings for each other never change. Bruce and Selina’s feelings for each other are authentic and that wouldn’t change. It shows that their love for each other transcends all time and space. 

In short Batman Annual #2 is likely to be remembered as one of the greatest Batman and Catwoman stories of all time. The positive response from fans and critics proves to DC Comics that there is a market for this relationship and they can strive for more than what’s already been done. The massive commercial success will hopefully convince the editors that the direction Tom King has taken the book and the characters has been long overdue. Beyond the romantic narrative the Annual opens a world of exciting opportunities for the Batman books. What will occur is yet to be seen and Tom King isn’t saying, so we’ll have to wait to find out. 

Reflecting on the Annual I’m reminded of a quote from Kiersten White’s The Chaos of Stars that have been used in a number of fandom edits, that I myself used once. I’ll quote it here because no matter what will come to be I think it fits very well: 

I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.