#like I've never said that about any woman but this one does hate men

[la-pheacienne]

Sara saying that rhaenys wouldnt kill alicent cause theyre both mothers and women, despite alicents family being a direct threat to her own, and alicent and rhaenyra reconnecting after hurting eachother for 20yrs because now theyre both wives will never not piss me off. Do they not understand that alicent rhaenys and rhaenyra are humans first and foremost? Not mothers, not wives, not victims, not women but HUMANS. Like ned, stannis, daemon, aerys, robert, viserys were all husbands, fathers, and men each with their own beliefs goals and experiences that shaped them and yet if you put them all in room together no one would ever suggest that these guys would ignore everything about themselves and wouldnt all start fighting eachother one way or another just cause of those basic commonalities. Thats not how humans work sara

I have nothing to add, you said it all bestie.

[bethanydelleman]

Hello!

I rewatched Pride and Prejudice and it's surprising how my thoughts on it changed over the years 😃

When I was a teenager, Elizabeth Bennet was the plucky heroine that I wanted to be (lol) , now I'm older with a mortgage and responsibilities/bills, I'm like what was her plan in life?

Because she wasn't really educated per se (im thinking about how she answered lady Catherine about what she has to recommend her re:drawing, playing the piano etc) so I guess a 'career'(no matter how little it would be available at that time) was out of the question, but accepting marraige to the (admittedly obsequious) Mr Collins was also out of the question as well as Mr Darcys first proposal (which I get why sge turned it down!) ...I guess I'm asking what Elizabeth's plan for her future.

I've heard this from a lot of people upon re-read, "Why isn't Elizabeth more worried about her future?" I think there are a few things to note.

Early 1800s or not, Elizabeth is 20 years old when the novel begins (the average age of first marriage for women was 23). 27 year old Charlotte is in more of a future panic, but Elizabeth is still young. She has done practical thing like learn to play piano, but like most young people, she's probably just hoping for the best. And it's not like there is much she can actually do, Elizabeth is putting herself out there, she's dancing, she's playing piano, but otherwise she can just hurry up and wait. Her mother's marriage schemes are seen as vulgar and mostly backfire, and we would hardly want Elizabeth to act like Caroline. We read across Austen's novel's that women are largely stationary and it is the men who move in and out of their lives.

Also, I think a big part of Austen's point is that women are in a position where they feel the need to accept any and every proposal, because as Mr. Collins says, they may never receive another, but that this leads to misery (just look at the older couples and how many of them are unhappy!). While somewhat foolish from a financial perspective, Elizabeth is thinking about her long term happiness. She has watched her father turn bitter in an unequal relationship, she does not want that for herself. Elizabeth is choosing possible spinsterhood over being married to a person she knows she could not respect. Marrying for love, or at least on a basis of respect, is a big theme in Austen's novels. Let me add this quote from Mansfield Park to illustrate this point:

“I should have thought,” said Fanny, after a pause of recollection and exertion, “that every woman must have felt the possibility of a man’s not being approved, not being loved by some one of her sex at least, let him be ever so generally agreeable. Let him have all the perfections in the world, I think it ought not to be set down as certain that a man must be acceptable to every woman he may happen to like himself.... And, and—we think very differently of the nature of women, if they can imagine a woman so very soon capable of returning an affection as this seems to imply.”

So yes, Elizabeth Bennet isn't being financially prudent but she is being sensible in preserving her happiness. And for realism, we know Austen made this decision herself! She turned down an eligible offer.

Next, Mrs. Bennet is somewhat exaggerating: they are very unlikely to starve or be destitute. While it is never explicitly stated, Mr. Gardiner seems to be doing very well, and would probably very happily take at least Jane and Elizabeth if Mr. Bennet died. Mr. Philips is also doing well for a country attorney, he could take in his sister-in-law and nieces. It is going to suck, the Bennets should have planned better, but it's not the end of the world. We also do not know Mr. Bennet's age, but he may well only be in his late forties. He's no Mr. Woodhouse who may die tomorrow in a stiff breeze.

So what is Elizabeth's plan? She doesn't have one, she's 20. She's hoping life will throw her a man with a decent income that she doesn't hate. It works out in the end, but I don't think she would live to regret either turned down proposal if she had never met Darcy again.

[star-anise]

So, Easy Beauty by Chloé Cooper-Jones is not by any means a straightforward tale of the specific traumas and experiences of being a disabled woman. In many ways, it's an examination of how holding onto those traumas too tightly can keep you not just from positive chances for connection and experience, but understanding when your choices and behaviours are hurting other people.

But. It does talk about the trauma. And specifically, this splinter I've spent months now slowly drawing out of my soul, because this never happened to me except for the version of it that did happen to me. In her case, it was a conversation with a friend in high school:

I approached him in the library of our school. He was studying for a geometry test. He saw me, closed his notebook, and smiled. “I feel like,” he said, teasing me, “there might be something you want to talk to me about.” I told him yes, there was, and I said that I wanted to go to the homecoming dance with him and would he take me. “Of course,” he said. Relief flooded through me so quickly it turned my stomach. “But,” he continued, “there’s something very important I need to talk to you about first.” He proceeded to tell me that our female friends had been pressuring him for weeks to ask me to the dance, not wanting me to feel left out. “They love you,” he said, “but they pity you and their pity won't help you in the world.” I can, to this day, recall the exact even tone in his voice, his smile. He reached across the table and took my hand. “I want to tell you something as your friend,” he said. “I want to protect you. When you ask a man like me on a date, you put us in a bad position.” He was still smiling; I was having a cute delusion and was in need of his loving, if uncomfortable, correction. “It’s just the truth,” Jim said. “No man will want to date you unless he, too, is desperate or ugly.”

What I've felt, since I was very young, was this sense not just that no one would ever love me, but that I was so pitiful, so unlovable, such a complete failure of femininity, that expressing interest in another person was tantamount to forcing them to pity-fuck me. And how could I do something that horrible to them?

Well, at least in the years since then, I've learned that actually people feel no compunction about rejecting me!

I have almost always felt like such a complete failure at femininity, to the point that discussions about the female experience feel hypnotically surreal, because these things never happen to me. Y'all get catcalled and hit on? I'm struggling to dredge up memories of experiencing that firsthand. I grew up with grownups always warning me about men who'd want me for sex but didn't actually love me, and now I'm like... being wanted for sex? What's that like? I have literally ten seconds of experience of my desire for someone else being something that excited and interested them.

This is my own personal neurosis, not a prescription for widespread behaviour. But I've always kind of hated when people talk about slowburn romances and stories with pining as "two idiots in love" because on a visceral level, it doesn't feel stupid to me to believe you're repulsive and nobody will ever want you. It has always felt like the natural and obvious conclusion to enter adulthood with.

Up until two weeks ago I've always been very careful to describe my feelings about my body as part of me being crazy--I hate the way I look, I don't like seeing or hearing recordings of myself, I think I'm not pretty. Because obviously that means I'm actively working to rid myself of those emotions and attitudes! I've got it handled! I've admitted that I have a problem!

And that's because I always had it locked away in my heart that if I tried to make a factual claim about being ugly, people would say "No you're not!" just to make me feel better, and then I would never ever know if anyone who found me attractive really meant it, or if they were just doing it out of pity.

That is crazy. That's holding onto the lesson of that fucking shitbag who found Chloé attractive and fuckable two months fucking later once he got over himself. That's sitting around waiting for someone to come climb up into my unfuckable tower and do all the work of establishing a relationship themselves. That's lesbian sheep behaviour.

It's only just begun to feel possible that I could begin to take steps to seek people out and express interest in them, instead of holding perfectly still and making someone else do all the heavy lifting to get to me, when I haven't even made it known I wanted them to.

But this doesn't get talked about as part of "the female experience". When men talk about women's experiences in the dating market, they absolutely never mean women like me. Why bother with the experiences of women they wouldn't want to fuck anyway? It's not like we're people or some shit like that.

[radykalny-feminizm]

I can't sleep because I'm thinking about Anna Garska again. I've been haunted by her case for some years now and I think I'll forever be. She was a young woman, a mother of a little girl. Her husband (a policeman) killed her because he got bored and wanted to "start a new life". They never found her body, but there was enough proof anyway and he went to jail for her murder. The worst thing? He never said what he did to her. Her grave is empty. Her mother is suffering beyond any measure, she was very close with her. Anna's daughter is growing up without her and will never know her. And this scumbag knows where Anna's body is. But he just won't tell. Just like that. Even though it shouldn't matter to him now when he's in jail anyway. It makes me so angry. That's a typical fucking man, not caring about anyone but himself. A master of life, death and truth. I'm telling y'all that the biggest dream I have is to get him in my hands and torture everything out of him in the most brutal way. He fucking killed her but that's not enough for him, he won't allow her body to rest in peace, he won't allow her mother to mourn her properly. Why? Just because he can. Can you imagine? That's a definition of evil if I ever saw one. Where does it end? Do men have any fucking limits of how far they'll go with their depravity? When I say that they hate us THIS is what I mean. We're nothing to them when we're alive and we're nothing to them when we die.

This is Anna. I didn't know her, but I'll never forget her face.

[purpledemonlilyposting]

Oh look a blatant self asking talking shit.

[Lily's Post]

Lily people tell each other they hope you cover a thing they like as a CURSE. It is a wish of doom upon their fandom. Are you just whining that people tell you to watch FMA: Brotherhood cause it's really good again? You know it's based on award-winning manga drawn and written by a woman right?

And you get your paycheck from tearing down other peoples' creative output, Lily. Can't complain when someone does it to yours. Don't you only review children's fantasy adventure cartoons you hate because you have to "pay your rent"?

The money I get from laughing at you is like 3rd down the list of my income streams.

Way to prove you have never listened to a word I've said about Utena. I'm not the one who focuses on the allusions to Greek myth and esoteric French literature, that's a bit beyond me. Save that for the essayists on Ohtori.nu. I just talk about the plot and the symbolism cause I'm sick and tired of people who have only ever experienced Utena as an aesthetic mood board pretending they know what it's about.

You OUTRIGHT ADMITTED you spoiled the manga out of sheer spite.

You're such a child. You got called out for trashing a show you very evidently didn't even watch and so in retaliation you made a new video in which you spoil the ending of of the manga without any warning. And you had this video labeled as "First Impressions" for a while. Nobody expects ending spoilers of an unfinished anime adaptation in a first impressions video you absolute petty little bitch.

It's not a good anime, Lily. It's a dull moeblob fest the only purpose of which is to get 4 high school girls on a big technical ship. The writing is incredibly lazy, contrived and relies on increasingly improbable coincidences to get the characters from point A to point B.

And it's not like the girls in the show are actually interested in arctic research or science or ship work. Its just let's get 4 ditzy moe joshi kosei on a big ship to appeal to otaku men who like to goon over "pure" teenage girls next to engineering porn. You played yourself.

[nerdygaymormon]

I hear so many people hating on the Olympics for showing drag queens reenacting the Last Supper. That does seem pretty blasphemous. I'm curious to hear your thoughts about that

The morning after the 2024 Paris Olympics opening ceremony, my mom expressed her disgust at drag queens recreating da Vinci’s "Last Supper" and said it’s fine if they don’t believe but they shouldn’t mock others. I had no idea what she was talking about, I watched the opening ceremonies but I missed that. She admitted she didn't notice it either but it was all over her morning news.

Tbh, I figured if she was going to be offended by anything, it would be the multi-racial ménage à trois

Or possibly the guillotined Marie Antoinette holding her head

I found online that what she was referring to is what took place on a bridge over the river Seine. There was a table with a red carpet down the middle which served as a catwalk. At the center of the table was seated a woman wearing a silver headdress, surrounded by some drag queens and dozens of dancers and artists. Models featuring fashions from France's most promising young designers walked the runway.

The specific part of the ceremony that caused the offense was a closeup of the people at the table. The tableau was reportedly based on a painting by Dutch artist Jan Harmensz van Biljert called "Feast of the Gods," painted in 1635, and is housed in the Musée Magnin in Dijon, France. In the painting, the Greek gods on Mount Olympus have a banquet to celebrate the marriage of Thetis and Peleus.

The figure seated at the center of the table is Apollo, being the sun god he has a halo of light around his head.

One thing I liked is they updated the idea of Apollo with his lute to be portrayed by French DJ Barbara Butch with her equipment. Barbara advocates for several causes, such as acceptance of obese people and lesbian rights. She says her "aim is to unite people, gather humans & share love through music for all of Us to dance & make our hearts beat at unisson! Music sounds better with all of Us!"

They also had a blue Dionysus, the Greek god of wine, fruit, vegetation, and festivities.

All that meaning wasn't explained during the broadcast and went over my head, but I guess it makes sense to have a scene in the Olympics that gives a nod to the Greek gods, where the Olympics began, and which is meant to convey celebratory festivities, and is based on a painting housed in a French museum.

Even though there was no iconography like bread, wine, or even a bag of gold coins, having a bunch of folks on one side of the table reminded some people of Leonardo da Vinci's "Last Supper" painting.

The ceremony’s artistic director Thomas Jolly has said it was meant to celebrate diversity and pay tribute to feasting and French gastronomy. "The idea was to create a big pagan party in link with the God of Mount Olympus — and you will never find in me, or in my work, any desire of mocking anyone," Jolly said.

My guess is that if drag queens wanted to portray the Last Supper, they're talented enough that it would've been clear that was the intent.

Even if they meant to portray the "Last Supper," that painting has been recreated in many creative ways and I've never heard anyone upset about it, but maybe in this case they're upset because there were queer people involved. They forget that it is a queer painting, having been done by one of the most famous gay men in history, with one of the characters at the table being modeled on da Vinci's own lover Salaì.

Let's say the Olympic organizers did intend for this scene to be reminiscent of the "Last Supper," I'm good with it. Jesus would invite everyone to have a seat at the table, which is a good message for the Olympics to convey, all are welcome. No person at that table would be excluded from Jesus' table, but there's a number of Christians who would exclude themselves if it meant not having to sit with queer people and others they perceive as sinners, which is ironic since Christianity teaches that we're all sinners.

In summary, I think some people misinterpreted the intention of what was presented, and a group of conservative media types promoted that misinterpretation to cause outrage because that would generate views and clicks. Most people who are angry by this weren't upset when they saw it originally aired, they are furious because they were told that they should be upset about it.

[confess-ledzeppelin]

I know I'm probably crossing into controversial territory here, but I'm so sick of logging onto Tumblr just to find people talking shit about Jimmy and wishing the most horrible things imaginable over a single fucking thing. He's not a creep, he's not a pedophile, he's not a Satanist, he's not an asshole, and he doesn't deserve even a fraction of the hate he gets. I see it all the time and it's sickening what people wish on him.

I might as well address the elephant in the room first. Lori's story is pretty hard to find information for since she couldn't tell the truth to save her life (I frankly can't stand her because of that), but I did manage to find the actual facts:

First of all, it was never a "passionate long-lasting love affair", it was actually only a few months (they never hooked up again after that, even in the 80s) and they weren't "madly in love" or whatever. I'm frankly not sure which of them technically initiated the relationship (although it's something to take into account that Jimmy is much more reserved than most musicians (like, say, Jagger), and Lori was a groupie for a reason), but it wasn't the way Lori described it at all. She wasn't kidnapped by anyone, and the version about Jimmy waiting in his hotel room with a cane and no clothes on is the most ridiculous rubbish I've ever heard. This isn't fucking West Side Story. They did meet at a show, though. He recognized her as a model since she was at least decently popular, but it's not like he was just waiting on the edge of his seat for a chance with her.

Secondly, this girl was absolutely not groomed. While there are certainly some tragic stories about grooming and pedophilia in the music industry (or just the entertainment industry as a whole, really), Lori is NOT a part of it. Most of these girls, including her, knew what they were doing but didn't care. After all, why would they? It was (for the most part) socially acceptable at the time, even if it wasn't legal. There are lots of women out there who will admit to sleeping with older men while they were 12-17, I've heard it myself. Does that make it right? No, but it's not like she was pushed against a wall or coerced in any way, shape or form. Despite how her stories change every time she tells them, she has said she looks back on her time with Jimmy fondly (Jimmy was very good to all of his lovers, but whether they were good to him is a different story that I'll get to later). Does he? Not really, no. He hardly talks about it and I can't blame him. But if he could go back, it's something that wouldn't have been repeated. He is a human being who made a mistake that just like every single one of us has, yet for some reason he apparently deserves to go to hell for it. It makes no sense to me. One mistake shouldn't define who he is as a person. And by the way, the "Jimmy Page if minors" memes aren't funny and you know it. Stop.

Anyway, as for what I said about past lovers, it's honestly tragic. First it was Jackie DeShannon, the same girl that kept him physically retrained in a hotel room against his will and assaulted him at least once, all while insisting that she loved him. And he believed it. One of her two songs about him, "Don't Turn Your Back On Me", basically gives the message of "we are going to last last forever. And if we don't, yes we will. Fake it 'til you make it, or else." It creeps me out. Next it was Charlotte, the same woman who allegedly cheated on him several times (even though he was faithful to her just like every other woman he was with), started heated arguments with him constantly (one time during a fight she even slapped him hard in the face while wearing several rings, which likely drew blood), and always retained a very "well he's okay, I guess" view on him even when they were having a baby. Jimmy, on the other hand, adored her and tried to give her the best. He even once said something along the lines of, "as long as I have Charlotte, I'll be okay" when he felt threatened. Basically, he would've crossed an ocean for her while she wouldn't have crossed a puddle for him. Their entire story actually reminds me a lot of Since I've Been Loving You, and he deserved so much better. Maybe there were even more incidents like these that never made it to the public, even though I don't think they're very well-known. Naturally there was also Lori, who was - to put it lightly - way more trouble than she was worth, and just her existence unfairly taints his reputation. There were also a few times when screaming girls mobbed the stage and started taking his clothes off, although I suppose they don't count for this bit.

But imagine if that shit was reversed. He would be crucified. And the best part? People actually turn it around to make it sound like it was him doing all of that. Absolutely rich. I really think people hate him just for the sake of it.

Another thing is his interest in the occult and how he's typically assumed to be a Satanist, because he gets plenty of hate for that, too. I'll put it this way: if I were to be super interested in, say, sharks, does that make me a marine biologist? Even if I study sharks for hours and visit the aquarium every week, even if I buy a whole bookstore about them, does that make me one? No, of course not. I don't see a difference. I know many occultists practice witchcraft and worship Satan and a bunch of really creepy things, but he's not one of them.

People also dislike him just for being a general asshole, and that's just as wrong. He's a sweetheart, a gentleman, and he's actually pretty funny, too. This is the same guy who rushed to help Robert up back when he was on crutches and fell in a studio. Robert said he'd never seen him move so fast. He's been there for Robert through a lot, and I think it should be said that the only reason he wasn't present at Karac's funeral was because he was physically unable. 1977 was obviously one of the worst - if not THE worst - year for him as far as his health; I think we all know that. He had even lost so much weight that his clothes from school were huge on him. But when the media came after him for answers on why he wasn't there, he accidentally made himself look pretty callous (as far as Jones goes on the situation, my guess is that he just already had vacation plans or figured it wasn't his problem anyway).

Also worth mentioning, Jimmy has done TONS of work for charity. He joined and played a part in Task Brazil, the ABC Trust, the Ahmet Ertegun Education Fund, Childline, Mount Sinai Hospital, MusiCares, the AIDS Memorial Campaign and Racehorse Sanctuary (I believe these are also supported by Robert, naturally).

This is also the same dorky guy who was found in a literal pillowcase by a roadie who was sent to wake him up. The same guy who sneezed while recording the Stairway to Heaven solo and grew frustrated with himself and started apologizing while the rest of the band couldn't stop laughing their asses off. The guy who knows not to take himself obnoxiously seriously and can laugh at himself, and has a great sense of humor. He's shy and reserved, but he's always been kind enough to notice when other people have needed help. He's always been a very polite "yes sir and no ma'am" kind of guy who says gosh instead of swearing and has a very soft voice. He's also the ultimate mama's boy, and still is even with her gone.

Sometimes he even says the most beautifully poetic things ever. "I'm just looking for an angel with a broken wing." "I remember when I was young I used to run along railway bridges with 250 foot drops... just dancing..." I mean, come on.

I'm not sure what about this guy is worth hating.

Anyway, that's my soapbox. Thanks.

Also can't fit this onto a picture, so just sharing as is. Thanks, anon!

[sharp-rosee]

Hey funny story: I haven't been around Tumblr at all for months, but today someone told me menalez had deactivated or something so I came on here and looked it up. First result was a post by you, i checked out your blog and wouldn't you know it your most recent post had you defending me post mortem lmfao. I sent an anon to the other woman too but it seems she won't post it so to clarify to you: when I supposedly said "studies showing violence suffered by bisexuals are cringe and useless" what I remember thinking about that is that those studies that I've seen are never used to try to understand why bisexuals suffer such insane rates of violence (more than homosexuals) and trying to stop it. I've only seen them be used as battering rams in discourse when homosexuals criticize bisexuals. Which is crazy for such a serious issue and totally trivializes it lol. Also that my explanation for it was that such studies show that many abused people incorrectly id as bi for a time. You can disagree or wtv just those were my points, she made it sound like I'm cheering on women beating if they're bi or something. Also your defense of me (thanks queen lol) is accurate if you were wondering. I used to be sorta pro strict separatism but I outgrew the anger/ denial phase of "most women will partner with men" and reached acceptance. Most people are built for romantic partnership, that's just human nature, I can't be hating het women just because their lot in life in that means they're more likely to be abused. Just because I'm not drawn to men, or even much to romance, doesn't mean I should act like that's everyone else too and judge them on that standard, I accept reality and want women to be safe within that rather than pointlessly hate on them and get all worked up because some women have boyfriends..

Well I'm also a mean asshole, I'm sure you noticed, and I definitely would give the bi girlies on radblr a hard time here at the time lol. I don't have the "one side" sort of takes on this divide on radblr. It was funny but I can't feel the energy to that anymore since leaving tumblr, way too few bis or gays irl to care about that stuff. But at the end of the day these are my actual takes on all that disk horse. Funny to see it immediately on such a causal stroll around here lol

-sleep3r4gent

QUEEN I used to follow you ♡ at least when I was crypto a few years back I did.

Also, I'm glad you clarified because the way some women on here seem to hallucinate things they read almost makes me feel insane as well. Like you sending an ask saying you never thought of a certain perspective is not indicative of you agreeing and obviously one can change their opinions over time.

I really have no opinion either way tbh, I myself am straight and in a relationship, and have had others on my last blog send some anons calling me a "dick worshipper" and other misogynistic BS, but they stopped once I didn't let it bother me much. It's so obviously a group of trolls that it's embarrassing that they still believe it enough to keep bringing back the same users, some like you who aren't even misogynistic, to further their persecution complex.

It even is more annoying because these are the women who made Mena/Moideater leave, the above drama is a big reason why. The way radblr will still reblog posts from very racist blogs and not bat an eye but then freak out over a clique of women who aren't even radfems really does show what demographic makes up this site.

I know it gets exhausting to be involved in arguments, but it's nice to know you're still somewhat around. I hope you, Mena and Moid come back someday. If not I understand. But I'll never forget any of them and I haven't forgotten you 😭😭😭

[headspace-hotel]

hi, so i do have a question regarding trans people- i completely support trans people and people should have the right to do whatever they want to as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, and i would never side with those who try to take away someone's autonomy. that being said, why do people want to be the specific genders(men, women)- what exactly does one feel? is it identifying with gender stereotypes? wanting the other kind of body? i can understand why someone would want to be enby, but can't seem to understand specific reasons why people would want to be transmasc or transfem etc. i've read posts before where people have wanted to be women/men because of gender stereotypes- they wanted to play with dolls/liked feminine/masculine colors/clothes etc. but it's obviously something that shouldn't be stereotyped against and anyone should be allowed to play/like anything they want to, whether it's feminine or masculine. so what exactly is it that makes people want to be either? again, though even if i didn't understand why someone else felt that way, i fully support them.

I'm not even transgender in any flavor so I'm not the best person to ask, but I'm pretty sure the answer is going to be individual for every person.

I think like, the larger society has latched onto the narrative of "I always wanted to play with 'girl' toys and do 'girly' things" because that's what makes sense to a cisgender audience in a culture where behavior and clothing and toys are very obviously gendered.

But that's not, like, what "makes" someone transgender—it's a way of explaining it.

I mean, okay, maybe I can talk about this a little. I'm a cis woman. I've thought about it! I like being female, it feels comfortable to me, and experimentally imagining anything else feels...bad.

This has nothing to do with gender stereotypes—I don't shave, I don't wear makeup, I usually cut my hair super-short, I'll wear my brothers' clothes if I like them, I always actively hated the "girl" toys as a kid (though I was never labeled a 'tomboy'—I feel like autism overpowered any specific gendered label that would otherwise apply to me, for complicated reasons. I was a Weird kid). It's just...I don't know. It's nice when one of my friends in chat in a game i'm playing calls me "she"—like hell yeah! Your mental concept of me is a girl :D

If anything, I started to feel more "woman" when I started dressing and styling more masculine—it was actually seeing pictures of butch lesbians online that made me see an image of myself I liked for the first time. I wanted to be a woman who's like a guy at the auto parts store.

I think some people just have no internal sense at all about their gender, and some of these people probably ID as non-binary, and some of these people probably just identify with whatever they were assigned because that's what's convenient. There are no wrong answers here, right?

And some people have a really strong unwavering internal sense about it, and it's not exactly able to be distilled down to feelings about your body or clothes or interests or whatever, but it exists. I know that I "feel" like a woman even though I couldn't say why. It's somewhere in between "this feels accurate" and "this feels nice."

[autisticzenitsu]

People have a lot of double standards when it comes to Zenitsu. They hate him for being loud and annoying but then turns around and say they love Inosuke who's also loud and annoying. They hate how jealous he gets when Nezuko interacts with other men but turns around and call Obanai (an adult) cute when he gets jealous over Tanjiro (a kid) being friendly with Mitsuri. They hate how inapproriate Zenitsu acts around girls but says nothing about Tengen trying to kidnap little girls, threw one of them off the roof and spanked one of them for no reason bc ig they're too busy simping for him 🤷

For real. Inosuke's also loud and annoying (but in a more-palatable-for-nts-way). The main difference is that Zenitsu has anxiety, has frequent meltdowns and poor emotional regulation. All of which are autistic traits, it's just not the "cute and quirky" autism allistics/nts are used to, so they hate him for it.

And yes, thank you for pointing out the jealousy thing. I love Obamitsu, but Obanai should not be getting jealous of a child. Like, I'm not saying it's fine/healthy how jealous Zenitsu gets, but he literally has a history of being abandoned, which helps explain it.

And yeah. Sorry, but as an autistic woman, I refuse to hate Zenitsu for not behaving all that well around girls. Picking up on boundaries is hard. Behaving how nts expect you to is hard. And like...Zenitsu is just clingy and has abandonment issues? He shouldn't be begging girls to marry him, but a) he calms down after meeting Tanjiro, and b) doesn't peek up girls' clothing, touch anyone inappropriately, or say pervy things to girls. The closest he's come is the "girls have curves" rant to Tanjiro and Inosuke, but he doesn't say it to any girl. Also, I've seen more objectifying/pervy posts on this damn website. Worse than anything Zenitsu has ever done or said.

Also, Zenitsu does understand the word 'no'. In one of the light novels, a girl turns him down and he respects it. People just focus on his begging that one girl during his debut for marriage. Never mind the fact that he was actively having a meltdown and did not realize she wasn't interested in him. People go so hard with "respect the word no!!!" that they end up being ableist and expect everyone to be good at reading boundaries??? Which isn't how it works??? People SHOULD respect the word no (and Zenitsu does; again, read the light novels), but people should ALSO acknowledge that picking up on boundaries is hard, especially for neurodivergent people. And Zenitsu is VERY autistic coded.

And yeah??? Tengen trying to take the Butterfly Girls is far, far, worse, especially since he literally spanks Aoi (who's underage) for no damn reason. And even then, he still DID bring three underage kids to a Red Light District. It was for a mission, but he really should have recruited adults. Yet no one says anything about him. It's literally the "Hello, Human Resources" meme.

[satirates]

Baghera Jones is her own person that can make her own decisions, thank you very much

I wasn't going to post this here because most of this discourse came from the bird app, but I've seen so much posts here (and in my notes) that I need to get this out of my chest. So this post is going to be TW: fandom neg about Baghera treatment by the QSMP community, be warned.

So, where to begin?

I keep seeing post about Q!Baghera being a bad friend to Forever, insulting her, saying she" hate him" and that it would be better if Forever only interact with Brazilians from now on. And I'm tired of this shit

" She will clearly always side with BBH whatever Forever do"

Oh, so we have a woman friend with two men, so of course she needs to take sides. Forbid her to have her personal opinions, it all about choosing the guy she likes the most, isn't it ? How people don't realize hoe misogynistic that way of thinking is !?

She literally connected on the server yesterday, learned that Forever wanted to build a prison to imprison players and that he pass a law that was specifically targeted at one of her other friends. Of course, she said that she will stand by BBH if this continues. She is trying to comfort him because from HER perspective, he's being targeted by unfair laws, and he is still (in lore) experiencing psychological problems. She didn't side with him, she chooses to help him. Because she can make decision with the information she has.

" But she is always against what Forever propose with the government"

I'm sorry, where were you when the election arc happens? Probably insulting Baghera because she dare have opinions and calling them "stupid" and "baseless" to the point she quitted I guess? q!Baghera was ALWAYS anti-federation. She joined the election so she could start a revolution. Even after she accepted to not do that, she always defends the point that having a president was a bad idea and that a council would be better. These ideas aren't new and she didn't stop having them after Forever got elected. It makes sense for her character to oppose to him, because she was never for a president in first place.

Yesterday, she didn't say she thought his idea of vote is stupid. She says that she doesn't agree with HOW it's done right now and that they can make it better. More representative of the people. But when she talked to Forever, he basically ran away when she started saying she didn't like it. Then they got interrupted by Bad. She hadn't the time to explain herself and people are acting like she said the idea(and Forever) was bad when she never says such thing. And even if she was totally against it, she would have the right to. She has the right to have a different opinion than her friends.

" But she is always hiding things!"

Clearly, you haven't watched Baghera's stream in a long time. What does she have to hide, I'm asking you? She never gets lore, and never has any in the past. Every time sometimes mildly exciting happen, she is running to another player just so she could tell them. In the election arc she was even sharing a ton of secrets with Cellbit, a guy she was convince was a dormant agent, just because he was on the server at the same time as her and she needed to share! She is only keeping secrets that other people told her. You know, like a good friend? Also, she sometimes forgot to say things right away, but cc! Baghera has ADHD, so it's not on purpose she sometimes forgets things. CC! Baghera said that canonically, her character trust Forever 100%, and she kept it that way so far. She just has no secrets to share right now because she isn't getting any lore.

" But Forever is always alone these days, and Baghera isn't appreciative of his work!"

Pshhh, I'm going to tell you a secret. You know who's alone 90% of their streams? BAGHERA JONES! She is in her castle alone, building. And why she spends the other 10% with people? Because she goes to people to check on them! Does Forever do that? No. He's in is isolation arc. We have never seen him check on what Baghera was doing or asking to do something together. Several times we've seen the players having fun while he was online, and he didn't join. It's not Baghera's job to go fetch him to play and help him when he isn't asking for it. And she always shows appreciation for what he is doing, just not in his face. Things you would know if y'all were actually watching her POV. She has Portuguese and English subtitle on at all times, you have no excuses. And why these type of comments are always directed toward Baghera and nobody else in the server that are doing stuff aside from Forever? Literally, I've never seen anyone else being call names because they are not tending to someone else need. Truly strange that it's directed at a woman, isn't it?

Baghera said in live recently that she has to take a break from doing lore with some of the streamers with the biggest community because she was getting hate every single time she was interacting with them. She didn't say names, But we all know who she was talking about. And I think it sucks she has to walk on eggshells around Brazilian players because of that. That she try to not be too friendly/teasing with Forever because of that. If you don't see her spending time with him as much, now you know why. They are still friend, but she doesn't want to deal with the community bullshit.

To conclude

She said that she wants her character to be recognized for her own achievement and not just be "Forever and bad third friend". And I'm also tired of this. She has the right to have opinions. She has the right to make decisions that contradict the ones of her friends. Furthermore, she isn't "Forever bad friend" or "BadBoyHalo emotional support woman". She is her own person. Stop acting like she's picking sides. Stop to infantilize her by saying that "she needs to think about the way she's acting". All her decisions make sense in universe. She has the right to defend her friend, she has the right to do her castle in peace, she has the right to not spend time with/help her brother if she doesn't feel like it. SHE has the RIGHT to exist at the SAME LEVEL as BBH and Forever, not as their accessory that is there to break them apart.

We have a lot more women on the server now that Jaiden plays regularly and with the new players. Let threat them like person, not just by the lenses of the men of the QSMP. Go watch their POV. Ask questions to people that watch them on main.

I'm so tired of this, it's being going on for months. I know the biggest part of the community is nice and love her. At least until she does something they don't like. I'm so tired...

[topaz-witch-tea]

Yanqing’s Happy Family AU: Baiheng’s Parenting

I can finally drop all the stuff I've been working on now that I don't have to work overtime!!! It was torture watching all my stuff be in-progress and not being able to work on them.

1. Spoils him the most out of the five. She has spent an outrageous amount on her nephew. Yanqing, as a kid, while easy was also quite picky about certain things, and one of them was clothes. He hated onesies and would cry and fight when people would put him in one, preferring a cross-collar top and trousers. The issue was that there were not a lot of options when it came to that. Baiheng proceeded to spend hundred of thousands of strales on custom clothing for baby Yanqing, who like all babies, would spit and vomit on them. When asked about it, she stated "You cannot honestly expect me to sit there and watch you put Yanqing in plain, unstylish clothes." This would continue as she would order for him more and more custom clothes. Yanqing currently had 5 winter cloaks in a variety of colors, fur trims, and clasps from his auntie.

2. She taught Yanqing how to drive a Starskiff. In fact, I am convinced she taught everyone in the HCQ how to drive. She was a renowned pilot back in the day and definitely knows her way around one. But it should be prefaced, that she taught Yanqing way before the legal age to drive a starskiff. Her mentality was that if Yanqing was old enough to join the battlefield, he should learn to drive since it might one day save his life. She is a very chill teacher and had gone out to buy an old starskiff to teach him in. However, she did it in secret since the three dads were already very against Yanqing going out to fight even though he had earned his position as lieutenant and any possible incident/issue could cause them to revoke Yanqing's mission. Yanqing, being the responsible kid he is, never drove in public and his dads did not know for a long time. They only found out when he was 15 and his squadron was ambushed by the enemy. After getting his men out first, Yanqing commandeered an abandoned starskiff to escape as well. Despite the fact it was hidden from them, the three could not be mad in the slightest since it saved their son's life.

3. Baiheng has fought many families at PTA meetings. She has the most available schedule and participates in a lot of daily school events for Yanqing. Yanqing goes to a fancy private school where a lot of children of the nobility go, and Baiheng never forgot the comments that floated around when Yanqing was first taken in (comments are in the fic Family Dinner). Some nobles still keep the belief that Yanqing is a nuisance that lived too long and the attitude trickles down to their easily-influenced children. Baiheng does not stand for this at all, she attends every meeting with the intention of throwing down. While she doesn't fault the children, she does not hold the same patience for the adults. She actually punched a mother in the face during a PTA meeting for bad-mouthing her nephew and dared the woman and her family to retaliate. "Go on then, you can fight back if you want. Or you can even go and report what happened to the Cloud Knights, where you can repeat what you said about Yanqing to the General instead."

4. When Yanqing was just a little baby and was left in her care, she would constantly send photos every hour in the group chat so no one would miss anything. There were a lot of photos of him sleeping or smiling at the camera. There was one photo of Yanqing in a sea-green cloak where the hoodie had little horns resembling Dan Feng's. The photo was his screen saver for a year.

I hope you like them! Feel free to let me know if you want a part 2 to any of my headcanons or want a drabble written about them.

[realmythsmoved]

I've been thinking lately and I think if they do end up putting Eloise with Philip (in the Bridgerton show), I'll definitely be ignoring it. Not simply because he is A Man, and Eloise is more into women and nonbinary people, but also because:

To end up with him, Eloise's entire personality and worldview has to change. The only thing is, I like her personality and worldview the way it is. She is right and she should say it lol.

Eloise is frightened, no petrified of giving birth. Especially for the time period she's in, that's a fair thing to fear, I think. Heck, I never want to give birth and I live in modern times. And I never have either. I think Eloise is the same.

Furthermore, I don't think Eloise cares for children too much. She doesn't hate them, and if a partner wanted children, she would always be kind to them etc. But I don't see her as a very maternal woman. And that's okay.

Eloise also wants to be with someone who is her intellectual equal. Who challenges her, surprises her, makes her think about the world in a different way. Now, I could be wrong, but I don't see Philip doing any of that.

Eloise (as her face tag 'my rebellion is not a costume' states) is not going through a phase. She has genuine criticisms and notices the problems of the society in which she lives. To end up with a Man, not only a Man but one who doesn't add anything to her life except give her more work, would contradict that, IMO anyway. Not saying that women dating men can't be feminists. Of course not, that's silly. But what I am saying is that Eloise would only be attracted to a man who IS her true equal. Who isn't just more of the same. Who would respect her as she is. And I just don't see Philip doing any of that. Maybe the show will surprise me, but idk. In addition, as I said above, El doesn't ever want to give birth (and in the books she does), isn't largely fond of children (and Philip already has them). For their relationship to work, El would have to sacrifice a lot, while Philip wouldn't. And that is exactly the kind of thing that Eloise has an issue with. If the relationship was more equal, she wouldn't mind. But it wouldn't be. And personally, I don't want that for her.

(Trigger warning: rape) I haven't read the books yet, but I've heard that Philip is kinda rapey towards Marina in the books, and I don't want that for Eloise. Not saying he would ever harm her, idk. But she would never want to be with a man who would harm any woman, no matter her feelings towards them.

TLDR version: Show!Eloise would have to change and sacrifice a lot for her book relationship to still work. And personally, I don't think I would find that a compelling character arc. And I think Eloise deserves one. She also deserves to be with someone who truly challenges her, surprises her, improves her life. Not saying relationships don't require sacrifices, they do, but they do on both sides. Not just one. Eloise and Philip, from what I've heard, is NOT that. It's Eloise sacrificing and Philip gets off easy. It's not fair imo. And it's not the ending I want for such a strong woman. She deserves better.

My Eloise, therefore, will likely not be following canon if that is indeed her endgame in the show. That doesn't mean I won't RP Philip and Eloise, I'm sure RPers can have an interesting take on the character. But I'm much more interested in developing ships with women and nonbinary characters in the Bridgerton universe, for Eloise. Or maybe RPing with a Theo. (I liked him, sue me. At least he's her intellectual equal and challenges her.)

[pinkomcranger]

I saw your post about Saga and I 100% agree. I love her character so much and was so happy they avoided stereotypes AND gave her agency. She wasn't there just to save Alan (the horrid magical black person troupe was avoided) she was there for people who meant something to her and they just so happen to work together by the end. Remedy truly wrote a fascinating character and got a great actress to portray her. I'm glad the hate died out from the reactionaries but the apathy from the fandom is just as bad sometimes. I love her personality and I honestly love AnderCase as a ship and incorporating Saga into ships (AndercasexWake is a thing for me lol). I also like them as friends, their dynamic is so damn good I want to see them in future games. However, I gave up writing Andercase because people just ignore it most of the time. The fandom in general kind of feels isolating if you don't like the standard ships/characters. It's discouraging and sad and makes it hard to want to post. I tried again and of course the fic did poorly so I don't bother, reminds me how little people want anything to do with Saga. Even general fics would be awesome if people are squicked by het or don't like Saga and Casey as a ship. The fan space for her and ships/dynamics with her is so small...Drawing her is scary too given someone was attacked over it, so that worries me too and I kind of backed away. There's barely anything of Saga in any fanworks and when women are involved they gravitate to Rose and in some cases Estevez (the Yakuza mod just broke my heart they did not think to add Saga before Rose who has less time and at a point people shipped Casey with Estevex BEFORE Saga like WHAT). I know that struggle you're feeling. Saga and anything with her is a footnote and I know it's not malicious but it sucks. Fandom favoritism does not help, even in the smallness of Saga fandom content only a handful are seen and the rest ignored. I've been there and seen it, it pushes newcomers away. I hope this gets better in the future but not holding my breath. Love Remedyverse/Remedy but the fandom space depresses me which sucks because everyone seems nice to me, just...sorry for the rambling. Just saw a post that resonated with my frustrations.

Do you know the thing that gets me the most about Saga? She was created by a white man. And he, along with the other writers, made SURE to avoid the stereotypes we usually get in black women protags, especially in video games. She has a power, yes, but she's not using it solely to save one person. She doesn't even know she HAS a power until halfway through the game!

She wants to save her daughter first and foremost and then Casey, she tells Alan this point-blank, save my daughter and Casey, non-negotiable, she's NOT helping him otherwise. And you can see that as selfish, but it's not, if it had JUST been herself thrown into the story? She would've been FINE with it, you see her getting more and more excited about the case. She's intrigued EVERY step of the way. It only becomes personal when Alan has the audacity to use Logan and Casey, that's her line in the sand.

Melanie puts so much into making Saga come alive, because as amazing as the writing is, she could've still fallen into the sassy black woman trope, and Melanie doesn't let that happen. I think the ONLY criticism you can give her is that her accent slips, but I really never noticed it. I agree that I'm glad the hate from the dumbass gamer bros, but like you said, the apathy can be just as bad, it's a choice to not say the quiet part outloud.

I genuinely wish they'd just say, she's a black woman, therefore, I'm not interested in her. I only care about the white men. At least be HONEST about it, instead of raving about how fun it was to play as Saga and she's so badass but not backing it up with actions.

I love Andercase with every fiber of my being. I loved them from their first scene, despite knowing she was married to somebody else. Casey is Saga's support, you see her loving to crack her puns to Casey, she even thinks of one and saves it to memory solely to tell it to Casey. Not Logan, not David, but Casey.

They mirror each other, again from their first scene, drinking coffee at the same time. A trait they keep, even as the horror story creeps closer. Casey wouldn't be even a little bit interesting to me if he wasn't paired with Saga. He's the moon and she's the sun.

I'm so sorry you were discouraged to write and post about Andercase, even just as besties. Because their dynamic IS gold, and it echoes even when they're separated. The second Kiran shows up and kicks Saga off the case, she gets over it, fine, she'll deal, but help her find her partner, damnit! I've enjoyed fics where they are just besties, the ones that ACTUALLY focus on them and, you know, doesn't make Saga the driving force for CaseyWake and nothing else.

I think that's one of the reasons it's hard for me to ship Saga and FBI Casey with anyone else, because they're each other's closest interactions for so much of the game. It's hard for me to ship Alan with them because I see him and Saga as the true platonic soulmates of the AW2 cast and Casey HATES Alan. All the way up the ending of the final draft. You can see it in his expression and body language, if he hadn't just been through the wringer and so happy to see Saga, he definitely would've punched Alan for all he shit he's put them through.

Writing a pairing you love, feeling so proud and happy about the work you've done, just to see it brushed aside is one of the most painful feelings as a creator. Fandom is supposed to be for EVERYONE, it's not supposed to be high school cliques that can't interact with each other. I don't ship Alan with Saga's Casey (it's just the only way I see him, heh), but I've seen some AMAZING fan art for them that's made me smile. But you rarely see Saga involved, which makes no sense in regards to her Casey. If it was fictional Casey, that would make sense, he doesn't exist outside of Alan's head, while Saga's Casey is a living, breathing person who spends most of his time with Saga or talking about her.

Yet she's relegated to the bro when her Casey and Alan only have her in common. I can't buy Casey being soft and domestic with Alan to save my life. I see it with Saga, I can see Saga being soft with Alan because she does show that side to him. That's who she is, if you've earned her trust and respect. You can tell Saga is always the "good cop" while Casey is the "bad cop." The only time you see him sympathetic towards Alan is when he first washes up to shore. He's mocking him but holding his tongue because Saga's not going to take that nonsense from him.

You only see Casey show the full force of his anger towards Alan when Saga isn't there to stop him. To say "Yes, THAT'S the actual love story here" is a...choice, one that actively ignores the on-screen narrative. Again, fictional Casey and Alan are a completely different topic and not something I care enough to write about.

NOBODY should be attacked for liking a pairing because what does that do? What does it accomplish except make yourself feel better and superior? Again, it's been a choice to ignore the two main women in the series, which are Alice and Saga. But I've seen quite a few fics where Alice gets to be paired with CaseyWake, while you'll be hard-pressed to find a fic where Saga gets to interact with them. That tells me something that makes me uncomfortable. And that's covert racism.

You can't even make the excuse that there's nothing left to learn about Saga, because that's simply untrue. We know the bare minimum about her family on the Anderson side, and absolutely nothing concerning her father (who is Warlin Door and I will die on that hill). We don't know much about her created family, certainly nothing about David, outside of the fact he likes Bright Springs, and boardgames and doesn't take his daughter to get checked out after she hits her head in the shower. The fact her entire identity ISN'T just Logan's mother and David's wife means so much to me.

You can't tell me it's because she's married either, because how can you say that in one breath and then ship Alan with anyone but Alice in the same breath? It genuinely leads me to think it's simply that she's a BLACK woman. And as you said, seeing people create ships for Rose and to pair Estevez with CASEY, when she's an out-and-out lesbian that Casey only meets near the end of the game speaks volumes.

I genuinely think if you swapped her race, she would be less ignored, and that's extremely fucked up. Saga was created with so much love, care, and respect. A black woman protag that we could get behind and feel represented by. A smart, strong, caring badass, who still retains her femininity, but who has an identity outside of "mother" even though saving her daughter is her driving force, it's not her only one. She cares about her newly found grandfather and great-uncle. She cares about Rose, despite the woman irritating her in the beginning. She worries for the residents of the nursing home. She has mixed feelings towards the CULT. And of course, her secondary concern is Casey. And once she sees how hard Alan is trying, she comes to care for him as well. Why else tell him he's a hero when she has every right to hate him more than anyone else in the game?

She cares about these people she's met, and she knows they deserve to be saved. And Alan is the first to admit he can't do ANY of it without Saga. If the main character of the series acknowledged Saga, why can't the fandom?

I truly hope that you can find the courage to try again with Andercase, or just Saga in general. Because I'm seeing that there are people that love her, and maybe they're not content creators but consumers, and that's now one of my motivations. To feed their hunger because they're part of the fandom too, and they shouldn't be ignored. I promise you, you'll have a fan in me. And sometimes, just one person knowing they love what you create and how they look forward to it is enough. I'm not interested in a popularity contest. You'll never see me in ship wars. I'm here for FBI Special Agent Saga Anderson. This is her story too, to make her the footnote in fanworks is terribly egregious and goes against the very thing Remedy wanted.

If you ever want to ramble, my inbox is always open. If you ever have ideas you want to see in regards to fanfic for Andercase or Saga, I'm right here. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to read about your feelings for Saga and her partner. It means the world to me.

[olderthannetfic]

I’m kind of surprised that the whole heteronormativity BL discourse turned into me hating femme men and wanting every man to be masc. It’s doubly nuts because the story I described that got the brunt of this was one I made because of a certain masculine gay character trope that I really hated, to the point where my idea of fixing it was to basically make him sensitive and soft and a yuri on ice fan, and bullied for his lack of masculinity. If I find myself hating or feeling negatively about any part of a BL story it’s usually because of the actions of the top/seme character.

If a BL is bad, or I don’t know if it’s good or not, or I think there’s any bad writing moments at all, the top is usually the problem. This rule applies even if I think the top is a great character. This applies even if the bottom is a fucking terrorist who crippled an innocent young woman and tortured her for hours and never once grows as a person the whole story. (to be clear I really like the story i’m talking about and would recommend it, halfway across by dracze, but it’s still insane how the top basically NEEDS to be at the more toxic one in the relationship if the story has any flavor whatsoever). I know there are obviously exceptions, I can’t name a single one at the moment.

None of what i’m saying is a criticism of BL or of masc gay characters, i’m just saying that way too many people jumped to one specific conclusion about me based on my words. I really hope this doesn’t turn into discourse about me hating masc gay men and wanting everyone to be femme or some shit. I’d probably rage quit the internet for a week if that happened.

--

You are the only one who can't let this go. Everyone else forgot about it five minutes after it happened... or would have if your ongoing behavior didn't remind them.

--

As I've explained numerous times, people respond to the subtext and vibe of what a person writes as much as to their literal words. You said a bunch of shit that was laden with buzzwords and dogwhistles from communities with bad attitudes. People picked up on that.

You send lots of lengthy posts that are hard to parse and that come out of nowhere. And no, "you don't have to answer this but..." is not the ass-covering you think it is. I have to at least look at the posts in my inbox to evaluate them before they go in the queue. Normally, I don't mind if the same person sends me lots, and I don't care if they're all super interesting, but yours are particularly self-absorbed, boring, and horribly-written.

They're always phrased like "I think X about media Y". They don't invite discussion. They aren't tied to past conversations on here. They don't show the slightest spark of interest in what others think.

You apparently want eyeballs on your writing, both creative and nonfiction asks, but you're incapable of showing genuine interest in others. If these posts are an attempt to interact rather than to just say words in front of an audience, it sure doesn't show in the final product.

The posts people respond better to are just written better, but they are also more obviously part of a dialogue that treats other readers of my blog as peers, not a spigot dispensing free attention.

--

Why should anyone care why you dislike one BL or another? I get that you're trying to prove something about yourself, but why should anyone care about that either?

You are not the main character in other people's lives.

You're treating this like some need to clear your name, but fundamentally, that's assuming any of this matters to other people. It doesn't outside of refuting a given comment on a given post and then, like I said, forgetting about it five minutes later.

--

Every time you ask a new question, it just demonstrates the same lack of clue as before. For example, you recently asked (in part):

"What would changing my behavior look like? I have full plans to write […]"

It does not matter what comes in place of that ellipsis because no one cares what you do in your own art.

No one ever had an issue with your art because nobody has consumed it. And, to be honest, plenty of people have perfectly fine values for things they do. The fact that you do or don't include problematic thing X or proship stance Y in your own art is not proof of anything.

The issue is in how people talk to others about other people's art.

Endlessly trying to bring up your own work just looks like pointless grandstanding. Meanwhile, the vibe when you chat with others here has not really changed. There's still a strong subtext of unexamined assumptions and desire to make everything about yourself.

It's not about swapping out word X or Y. It's about your overall writing ability and command of subtext, which is poor. Really, really poor.

It's also about moronic statements like:

Like would it have made you mad that I said what I said if I removed those words? Because I didn't even mean them I just didn't think long enough to cut them from the post.

"Ooh, I didn't think".

Then don't fucking speak.

Or, if you do run your mouth without thinking, like most of us do sometimes, expect to suffer the consequences and don't cry like a cowardly little weasel when you do.

--

To be perfectly frank, I spend less time trying to promote my own work on here than you do. On my blog.

And I can actually write.

This constant me, me, me, me bullshit is what makes you seem selfish, self-absorbed, and like you're wasting everyone's time on purpose.

[peachjagiya]

hi peach...

i don't know if you've heard about the scandals with deepfake porn in sk, which is really just a tip of the iceberg of many things. the state of things are horrible for women. the male population are pretty much horrible, and i know that is a generalizing statement but the statistics agree. womens position in korean society is seriously not good. and i don't want to make this about myself. but i don't know how i can continue to support bts. yes, on one hand, there is nothing that shows that these men are like that, and most things show that they are good people. and i would never even think these things about them if it werent for the things i have read. but they are also very protected, and are meant to be portrayed in positive light. i just mean, even though i feel that i can trust them, i also can't? but i don't want to judge them for things they haven't done. i don't know why i am sending this to you, i know you probably don't have the answers. but i like reading your blog and i am especially invested in tk even though i like all of bangtan. i know that we know very little. it just scares me. i know that i have to accept that we can not know for sure, but how do i continue to support them then? but my life would feel so empty without them, i don't think i could stop supporting them either because my heart does not believe these things about them. i just don't know how to justify it to myself when i read about these women suffering, i want to help and support them and if supporting male idols isn't then... i don't know. i know i probably shouldn't invest so much in these artists that i don't know, but i can't help it... if something ever came out about them, i don't think i could take it.. what are your thoughts on this, and maybe your followers too? thank you

<3

I am so sorry this has affected you this way. I think your concerns are valid - ultimately we shouldn't be placing any person we don't personally know on a pedestal, man nor woman.

The first thing my wife said to me when I said I was getting Tae tattooed on my arm was "What if he turns out to be a bad person?" and I did have a think about it. Like all I actually know him is what I value in him. That stuff isn't for nothing. I think it's very human to gravitate towards traits in people that feel familiar, help you feel seen, make you feel good, give you that dopamine. But you do need to consider there's always a possibility.

(In the end I decided to go ahead with tattoo anyway. It's not photorealistic, it's a photoshoot that represents something I've been into a lot longer than BTS, etc)

The advice I have is make their humanity your baseline. My baby army observation is that we're not very good at treating these guys like humans even when they haven't done anything wrong. We expect perfection, we expect they share their whole brain with us, we expect a lot from them that is highly unreasonable to expect.

Accepting they're human as a baseline means you're less surprised when they behave like humans who make mistakes, who are flawed and imperfect, who probably have darkness in them like everyone does. And if they should have committed a crime you find abhorrent, you're not losing the idol love of your life.. you're cutting loose a human.

Of course this is easier said than done. I fully admit BTS, especially TKK, are a huge source of dopamine for my depressed ass. If I had to cut them off for any reason, it would suck! I would be so sad. That feeling is ok too.

Think about JK R0wling. Nearly every single queer I know personally was once a Harry Potter OBSESSIVE. I know about eight lesbians with a Deathly Hallows tattoo. And she has let our community down. She has gone all in on a hate campaign against us to the point where I have gently held my gender questioning child, with a non-binary mama, by the shoulders in a shop and explained softly that I would never be buying him Harry Potter pyjamas he wanted because "the person who created this is an open and active bully." And do you know what? It's fine. My son is fine. I am fine.

If I said to the much younger Peach who idolised her that one day the sight of her would make us feel sick, much younger Peach would have been devastated and disbelieving. But you know what? It has been remarkably easy to get over it. My life is actually missing nothing as a result of getting rid of a deeply abhorrent author who was once my world.

All eight lesbians have got or are in the process of getting them covered or removed. And they're fine too.

So that's what if they HAD done something.

But the thing to remember... is that they haven't. And it's still ok to enjoy them right now! This Yoongi situation probably hasn't helped because I think I'm feeling overanxious about stuff like this too. You can only act on facts though. Half the criticism they receive online is just people making stuff up.

The Nth room stuff was wrapped up in 2020. They weren't on lists then. The new Telegram stuff is an ongoing investigation. They have not been arrested. This doesn't mean there's no way BTS have ever been involved. It just means based on the facts, we have nothing untoward to go on.

If "protected" is an indicator of maybe there's shady dealings going on, then every film, every piece of music, every TV show, every book has a connection to shady stuff. Art exists to get us through hard times, not to make things worse. That's why it sucks so much when artists DO let us down. Because they take away a piece of something we need to be happy. Music, art, film, literature.

You can't live like that, anon. You're doing the right thing by educating yourself, by believing victims, by being appalled by this. I know many people who simply don't become so affected by this stuff that they even think about it beyond the article they read and a few more who would laugh it off. You are on the right side of history. Think what your care means to people who've been abused. In a world where people do not listen to women, you're saying you hear them and you see them. That does actually mean something.

But please protect your spirit - you need to be able to sing, and look at pictures and watch films. You're not doing the wrong thing to still enjoy things right now when the world is in the dumpster. There's nothing to suggest BTS have been involved... so stick with facts.

Anxiety is ruling our collective mind at the moment, I think, and though she's helpful in small doses, Anxiety is a bitch in big doses. Letting Joy take control is not naivete. It's strength.

I don't know who you are but I am sending you so much love, anon.

💜