#like a solid 4 things are stopping me from doing the Seriously Bad thing

[lokavisi]

So about two nights ago, I had a really solid conversation with Loki. A friend got some cues from him through their pendulum, we were both very confused, and then my wife (who barely gives a shit about the Guy lol) interprets this message so pristinely. It was like getting slapped upside the head when she gave her explanation. So I started free writing to continue the conversation more directly with Loki. There were a few big points made in this conversation.

First, he expressed frustration that, in spite of working with him for 4 years now, I still don't seem to "get" him. Like I keep coming to him to vent about some bullshit that's winding me up, he offers a suggestion to help me unwind, and then I brush it off or forget or just straight up ignore it. So he was like, "I've been telling you the same shit for 4 years now... It feels like you're just fundamentally ignoring all the parts of me that make me, ME." So...naturally I felt really fucking stupid and shitty.

Then he very lovingly affirmed that "this isn't me being facetious or angry or trying to put you down. I'm frustrated and irritated, yes, but surely you do realize by now that I fucking love you and you're stuck with me." This meant a lot to me more so than it might for others because my ADHD comes with mad rejection sensitivity dysphoria. Any time anyone says something that indicates some level of upset at me, my brain catastrophizes and breaks down because "clearly" it means they hate me. (This is basically never the case.) This leads me to the primary nugget of wisdom that came from this conversation.

I realized this whole time (once my wife interpreted the initial message) I was hearing him more clearly than I had in a long time. It was nearly as if a physical person sat next to me speaking. As the conversation was wrapping up, I made a note of this and asked, "Why do I feel l hear you clearest when you're frustrated with me?" We've had plenty of similar conversations, and when I look back at past moments when I simply couldn't deny the messages were coming from outside myself, he usually had some level of frustration with me. But to answer my question, he said:

"Because that's all you wanna hear. That's all you think you deserve. Even when you seek love or comfort and I provide, you don't always fully receive it. I try to be funny to cheer you up and you won't have it, just calling me stupid. You are terrible at receiving input that doesn't put you down or reinforce any negative thoughts you believe about yourself. So stop it. Seriously. Fucking stop believing bad shit about yourself."

He went on to talk about the rune readings I did for a bunch you on here (thanks again for the practice❤️), and how I should be pumping myself up from all the positive feedback I got from it. And we exchanged some jokes and "I love you"'s before calling it a night.

As per usual, I share my story in a giant block of text to remind everyone of what Loki reminded me: to not just take in the messaging that supports a negative view of yourself. Allow yourself to believe that you are the gods' gift to humanity. (I just heard him say, "Seriously. I do it all the time. It works wonders for your self-esteem." 😂❤️) Maybe that verbage doesn't have the greatest connotations, but the point is to think more highly of yourself. Believe in the power and confidence that you possess. Even if it doesn't feel like you have either of these things, fake it til you make it - until you realize they've been here this whole time.

I'm on this struggle bus, too, y'all. We're gonna find ourselves together. Hail Loki ❤️

[devildomwriter]

🪷:

I haven't TOUCHED nb! in a while (left after playing through lesson 13 I think) the last scene i remember playing were mc was in coma while brothers confessed and yea I left after that

Recently I see some uproar about lesson 37 💀 I am so curious but sooo lazy to play through it myself. Will you be so kind to spoil the entire nb! lore for me? Lmaoo

Seriously though I see spoilers of Lucifer RAGING and I have no idea 🤌

Wow that’s a lot to go through haha I’ll try and give a brief summary

Michael saves MC from their comma and the boys and MC are reunited and they are accepting of MC being a human

Diavolo decides he must send Mc back to the human world but before he can he is forced to undergo trials to prove his right as the king because the House of Lords is angry with him

Afterwards Henry goes missing and the brothers search for him. Shortly after it’s announced Raphael will be coming and they are all on edge.

When Raphael arrives he tells everyone they will be allowed back to the Celestial Realm and their father has pardoned their crimes and warns if they don’t accept they will “intervene”

The brothers individually decide they cannot leave Satan behind because he is their brother but Lucifer wants them to go back and he alone with stay with Satan because his actions are what caused his brothers to fall. In the end they all reject their pardon and stay with Satan where a ball is thrown by Diavolo to officially announce them as the seven rulers of hell.

The end credits scene reveals that Raphael was actually Michael in disguise coming to check on his brothers

Season Two

At the beginning of the season the brothers are working with Diavolo, Barbatos, and Mephistopheles for a more solid set of rules and classes at RAD and participate in mock classes

As that happens the brothers begin succumbing to their sins one by one

First Mammon succumbs to greed and his Little D. (which are revealed to be a reflection of themselves) is the key to saving him by delving into Mammon’s psyche. They then form a pact.

Next this happens to Asmo who becomes strong enough to enslave all his brothers until Solomon and MC use his Little D. to stop him. They then form a pact.

Next Satan meets Little D. no 4 and is embarrassed by his behavior and sinks into a coma but since he was born with his sin he doesn’t succumb to it but Little D. is needed to save him from within his mind where it’s revealed the first things his brothers ever gave him are his greatest treasures. They then form a pact.

Next Beelzebub grows much hungrier but doesn’t succumb and instead grows weaker. It’s thought that Beelzebub is becoming weak because he is the least demon-like of his brothers. Little D faces against Beelzebub in an eating competition and Beelzebub proves himself the avatar of gluttony.

Belphegor won’t let MC form a pact with Beel as he isn’t sure they can be trusted so MC undergoes the angel’s trial where they cannot tell a lie or the bracelet will break and they will not forge a pact with Beel. MC ends up telling Solomon his cooking is bad which devastates him but tells a lie to cover for Luke and it’s revealed the trial isn’t not to lie but to know the weight of a lie.

Leviathan overhears MC talking with Solomon about how they need pacts to get back to their world. Leviathan becomes upset and hides away in his room. He succumbs to envy and his powers rage out of control and flood the Devildom. Eventually MC is able to get through to him and Leviathan saves them.

Belphegor doesn’t want MC to leave and won’t accept the news so he uses his powers to keep his brothers too slothful to do anything and traps MC in the attic so they can’t leave but MC uses his Little D and breaks him out of his own psyche.

In the attic everyone reunites and agree to help MC return home so Belphegor, Beelzebub, and Leviathan makes pacts with MC. Everyone believes Lucifer will hop of board but he states he doesn’t want to, a sentence that makes Diavolo laugh.

Lucifer begins suggesting MC get used to life in the Devildom as they won’t be able to return home.

The brothers discuss how odd this is when MC wins a trip for two on a Devildom train owned by a noble. Lucifer invites himself as the second guest and during the trip is hinted his pride is at play and they may need his Little D. Before this can happen, Diavolo sends Mephistopheles after Lucifer and MC to make sure they are safe since a noble who hates Lucifer and his brothers owns the train.

Mephistopheles intrudes on their vacation and he and Lucifer butt heads often. The train is then hijacked and it’s pinned on MC, Mephistopheles, and Lucifer. Mephistopheles and MC are freed but Lucifer is sent to the lowest layer of the underworld, Cocytus, for punishment.

The brothers reveal the underworld is technically Celestial Realm territory so it’s weird that Lucifer is being punished for a crime committed in the Devildom in Celestial Realm territory. The brothers and Luke and Simeon venture to Cocytus to save Lucifer but the brothers are each restrained on different levels of cocytus for their crimes.

They reach Lucifer who is surprised to see MC and horrified to learn his brothers came along since the final layer of Cocytus is where you are punished for crimes against their father. As he’s yelling demanding to know where his brothers are is when Raphael is forced to read Lucifer his crimes and that he and his brothers are trapped in Cocytus and will be punished forevermore for their crimes in the Celestial War.

Lucifer is saddened for Raphael and enraged his brothers are suffering and in his rage he breaks free of his chains.

Meanwhile Diavolo is more furious than Barbatos has ever seen and is meeting with the House of the Lords to uncover what they plotted to get Lucifer arrested by the Celestial Realm.

That’s where we currently are in the game.

[cartmankisser]

Hello, hope you're having a wonderful day today!

I was wondering if you could do HC with Kyle Broflovski (or the main 4 boys, whichever you would like to write) on how he would act when their s/o got their wisdom teeth removed? Like the drugs their doctor gave them were still doing their thing and they just start talking about random stuff? Maybe unknowingly starts giving compliments?

Sorry if this is a long request! Feel free to remove it if it makes you uncomfortable in any type of way :)

i added stan and cartman! hope that's cool ^^

-- kyle was so concerned for you when you were coming out of surgery. like he's shaking and stuttering and he keeps asking you questions??? like if you're okay or if he can do anything help. he's talking too fast for you to understand anything he's saying, but you didn't care. you were just happy to see him!! and you were sure to tell him that

"oh my god kyeal... you look tho perfegt right neow..."

he could barely understand you from all the gauze in your mouth, but once it clicked in his head about what you were saying, he turned bright red. he was pretty annoyed at you for embarrassing him in front of the nurses

-- stan, similarly to kyle, was pretty concerned when you woke up. although he wasn't nearly as overbearing,,, he felt so bad that he had to try so hard not to laugh at you!!! he felt bad that he couldn't understand anything you were saying, but the way you were drooling and spitting everywhere was a bit funny

"stan.... don't laff at me... it hurths..."

i'm sorry he laughed so hard at that.. it's too hard to take you seriously when you're talking like a toddler who's learning to speak. he'd have to take a solid break from trying to help you just because he couldn't stop laughing at you and the way your cheeks were all puffed up from the gauze

-- cartman wouldn't even try to hide his laughter. he would keep giggling about how you looked like a fish with your puffy cheeks and swollen lips. he's not even trying to be mean he just... he can't take it.

you probably wouldn't even get a word in over his ugly cackling.. he doesn't know how emotional the anesthesia makes you until you're bawling and calling yourself an ugly fish

yeah now he really can't stop laughing

[circeius-invidioso]

👏🏻 Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay.👏🏻

Those 4 Liber books. Which ones you may ask.

These ones.

Now that we are all in the same page.

✨️Let's talk about them.✨️

Not good enough to be collected.

Not bad enough to be forgotten.

And not forget them we shall.

The tall and short of the story:

They are expansion packs to the main tabletop rpg game. And you guessed correctly it add daemons etc etc.

That etc etc is.

Liber Ecstatica : Slaanesh and horny on main cults.

Liber Infectus : Nurgle and dirty plagues.

Liber Mutatis : Tzeentch and birdy mutations.

Liber Carnagia : Khorne and angy serial killers. (No the spelling error was on purpose. Cause our boy real angy)

+ an adventure on theme with the above.

A solid 3/ 10.

Unless you are a writer and need basic descriptions of daemons and fluff then its a decent 3.5/ 10.

Now.

Now that we dealt with that.

Its time.

For the tall and longer.

And in depth analysis and my personal ice cold takes and my thesis of - this would have been lit if we played the villains pov.

I could be talking about the latest books, hell I could be talking about dnd. But no me and you we are here and we are stuck and for the next 5 minutes I am the captain and I will take you on an adventure.

🐙Liber Mutatis - feat Dj BoBo and the Mutants are Alive🐙

Nothing gets me more going than referances that weren't funny even in 2007.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Mutations. From bird beaks to tentacle limbs in case you decide to multipraise Slaanesh on the side.

Because you aren't just a chicken worshipper, you are a wizard and what best way to show it that gaining an additional 30 eyeballs for all those books you want to read.

This book is your one stop to fond some very basic mutations to add to a game.

And when I say basic. I mean basic, don't expect great stuff. But I guess this might have been part of the plan...

What's the included adventure like?

You team goes in a town to find why all those apprentices have been taking such a long unauthorized day off.

Well they were kidnapped by a cult with a ringleader being a shop keeper with a Lord of Change tranformed as a parrot named Bobo that births pink eggs.

Then they feed those pink eggs to create mutant bird people.

Your job is to stop it. Not the most original ideal... but what would it be if you played the adventure from the cultists pov?

Dj Bobo and his gang of squidmen

You heard the adventure of the heroes. But how would it be if you were the bad guy?

🐙 One player would pretend to be the shopkeeper with his pet parrot that births oversized pink eggs and you have to smuggle them and hide the fact from the people who came to stop you in the city.

🐙 The second will be the immortal nun with only her face intact in the soup house cooking for the poor and using the eggs to create mutant by trying to convince the people that those pink eggs are totally edible what do you mean eggs are not pink. Maybe you are seeing things...

🐙 The third one is squidward at the gates. Basically a war veteran that lost his legs. But jokes on them. The big bird man gave you tentacles and you will be wizzing throught the sewers like a getski.

🐙 The fourth will be the person kidnapping those student wizard kids, bagging them up and send them to the ritual site alongside your grizzled unshaven gang of pain assistants.

🐙 Finally someone can even take the role of the bird. Blasting eggs before the time of the summoning happens when they will be blasting magic and turning the whole city into a lethal rave.

🪲Liber Infectus- Grandaddy Nurgle's Black Death Clown Parade🪲

If only I was joking... stick around and find out more...

What the book adds to gameplay?

A wide selection of how you and your players can seriously get down with the sickness.

Besides that all the basic nasty descriptions about the warps most unwashed denizens. Basic. But we all start from somewhere, like how a rash develops into a mouth and eats the person living next door.

What's the included adventure like?

Evil doctor spreads a plague you are there to stop it etc etc. You can see where this goes from the words "initial symptom development".

Those sick clowns I mentioned

On the final part of the adventure a clown parade, with music and performers and everything. Pops in town and is ready to kick pc ass.

And the only thing I got to say is.

Why can't I play their pov.

The idea of five sick honk honk clowns in a cart playing music and spreading the literal word on nurgle with a mutant strapped on the back. Sounds like a wild adventure.

It sounds a lot more enjoyable than sitting around asking people "so when did the first symptom begin and how are you feeling?"

Give me the clowns. With their dancing plague and their bouncing nurglings on a wacky adventure to evade the law.

Fast and furiously popping knees and bursting shins.

⚘️Liber Carnagia- Renaming Khorne into Gandhi ⚘️

Again. Wait and I will explain this as well.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Nothing. Of value. Is it obvious that this one was my least favorite?

Whats the included adventure like?

Theres a magical angy spear and your job is to be beaten down and not kill anyone. Just sit with your thumb-tacks up your ass and do nothing.

That's what the adventure is.

In the book of Khorne what you are asked to do is not fight anyone.

The irony is so deep, I screamed that's deep bro and a lovecraftian horror responded from the chasm "I know".

Putting the K of Killer back into Khorne

A murder hobo adventure. That's it. It's a lot better than going to a besieged nun house and sitting on the grass asking those raiders to pretty please let go of the hostages.

Chaos, mayhem. If I was the dm I'd put everyone in a nonr stop 4 hour rollercoaster of blood, guts, bullets and norwegian death metal music playing in the background before they all die gloriously into a massive raid burning imperial churches.

Then go to hell, become daemons and be yeeted back into the mortal world to kick even more ass.

🪷Liber Ecstatica- And the Dick Measuring Olympics 🪷

The title will again make sense soon I swear.

What the book adds to gameplay?

Cults, anything you need to know about a basic degenerate cult. From poison chuggers to vape huffers and even vegetable shovers.

This is your one stop to make a bare bones cult for your games.

What's the included adventure like?

A girl is being chased after many eligible bachelors of the city.

And your job is to stop them from doing so.

How did this adventure start?

A rich old dude didn't like that an "average" in his eyes poor, low noble had admirers. So obviously its witchcraft.

The reason is as sound as an airplane made of shredded cheese. And the book is weidly mean about it.

Like the girl is fine. But everyone is like "she is not a busty noble that cries gold so obviously theres foul play, also have I told you that she is average".

Oh the crimes against humanity. If the adventure began and the noble was like "yeah my son flayed himself while screaming her name" then sure. I'd be calling foul play.

Busting a Nut not Busting a Move

The same but instead of having 10 men fighting over a decent, everyday girl its Danny Devito art critic and the whole team tries to complete the ritual and avoiding the witch hunters from burning their "beauty".

We are already dealing with a daemon that has magically roofied the local men in order to be freed from a magical mirror. We might as well make it into a comedy skit.

This is a game about the ultimate degenerates, extreme is the only word we must know. And you know what would be even better.

All of the players are grade A spandex bdsm supermodels and have to promote gollum as a drop dead nuke level bombshell.

[tismrot]

CREATIVES - HOW DO YOU NOT LOSE YOUR MINDS? I need help!

Fellow writers or creators of Tumblr - I have a problem. I have recently gotten into the Good Omens fandom, and it opened my brain to a level of creativity I haven’t experienced since I was a teenager (20 years ago). It started out great, but now it feels like an addiction. I’m writing again (good), but my brain won’t shut up about it (bad). I constantly have new ideas for my narratives and I’m really excited about that, but my brain will NOT shut up when I need it to.

For the past few weeks, this has gotten so intense I have had trouble falling - and staying - asleep. My mind drones on about “what if this happened because of the thing in chapter 3” and “I’ll have to change that event just a little to fit with the explanation for that thing in chapter 6” and so on. Even when I reach a “conclusion”, my brain just loops everything all over again. If I manage to fall asleep, I sleep lightly and wake up very easily - and then, my brain starts narrating again. I get between 4 and 5 hours of solid sleep each night, with some additional hours of in-between half-dreams if I’m lucky.

Here’s what I’ve tried doing about it

1: Quarantining myself from writing, creative pursuits or anything else related to my hyperfixation. (This works a little after a few days, but, like… I want to finish my story and I need to find a way to do that sustainably)

2: Upping my regular Seroquel (for sleep) dose from 25 mg to 50 mg each night. (It actually doesn’t stop the narrative-grind.)

3: Turning off all screens one hour before bedtime, earplugs, sleep masks. (No effect)

4: Finding a new show to watch. (Doesn’t work, brain relates everything to Good Omens or my fic or something I can use for something etc)

5: Meditation. (Can’t even go 5 seconds without THOUGHTS)

I’m so tired. Just want to sleep but can’t. I have autism and ADHD (diagnosed) and at first I thought my meds (30 mg Vyvanse every morning) might make this worse, but it’s not better when I have breaks from them. I’ve always been like this, I think, which is why I’ve avoided creative projects spanning over more than a few days. I often can’t sleep until it’s done. I think that’s what’s happening here too, on an immensely larger scale.

Anyone else like this? What did you do to fix it? Is there any way for you to be creative long-term without losing your mind? I’m seriously considering just giving up this project, which is such a shame - it brings me so much joy and it’s evolving into something far beyond Good Omens, I’m (perhaps foolishly) hoping that if I could do this sustainably, I could publish things eventually (I mean, 50 Shades of Grey started out as Twilight fan fiction, so…)

HOW DOES ONE WRITE WITHOUT LOSING ONE’S MIND? HELP!

[cyanide-latte]

TURNABOUTS FAIR PLAY what are your top five horror movies??

Aaahhh, I've been uno reversed~. Touché, darling!

The last three are in no particular order and they're all trilogies I'm counting as a set. Second place is usually subject to change at any given point in time, it just fluctuates depending on my mood.

1: Candyman (1992) - Not just my favorite horror movie, but my favorite movie of all time, period. Taking the mythology from "The Forbidden" and turning it into the story that they did? The shots, the symbolism, the casting, the sheer power of how seductive the relationship is between Helen and Candyman, the tragedy. Truly a movie for all disaster bi's out there. Helen's story and the way it's handled! This movie gave me such a triumph out of tragedy, and it's so beautiful. It holds up brilliantly, it's high art, it's everything. The 2021 sequel was also excellent.

2: Malignant (2021) - Absolutely bonkers in the fucking yonkers. This movie was made for fun and that one specific fight sequence in the police station. It's wild, it's not taking itself seriously, and yet it's fascinating to analyze and comb through. Periodically I just get hit with the need to reassess and think about elements of this movie. Maybe one day I'll get back to that fic trilogy I had planned for it. An excuse to pour my analysis into a written narrative? Perhaps...

3: Hellraiser original trilogy (1987-1992) - Is that the religious trauma talking? Maybe a little. These movies grabbed me by the throat. The first was a near-perfect adaptation of "The Hellbound Heart" and an interesting look at Clive Barker doing directorial work. I actually adore the second one to pieces. It dives beautifully into its own mythology, into revenge, into the horror of medical malpractice as well as the body horror and sexuality. Kirsty Cotton is, imo, perhaps the Final Girl of all time. I also appreciate Tiffany, she's a very good example of a positive neurodivergent deuteragonist in that movie. The third one is...WOOF~. In all seriousness though, I'd always been curious about the films since childhood (the posters and box art of the Hell Priest and the other Cenobites used to grab my attention whenever we went to the video store, Mom used to have to come find me and pull me away from "my staredowns with Pinhead") but I'd been anxious for so long to try them because I hadn't had much exposure to body horror in films. Finally gave them a shot, went "oh, huh, this isn't that bad," and then got sucked in by the movies' approach to the topics they tackle.

4: Scream original trilogy (1996-2000) - My gateway to horror, as I saw the first one when I was seven. My uncles were babysitting me and they never really worried about whatever I saw them watching. They've stuck with me my entire life and honestly they're just so damn fun. The writing is solid and while 2 and 3 have their flaws, I'll defend them to the death, they're still fun and they still work well. Sidney Prescott was my first Final Girl and she'll always hold a special place in my heart.

5: The Shining 3-part TV film (1997) - it's the superior adaptation. Full stop. Kubrick's adaptation has some gorgeous camera work, a few memorable tracks in its score and some iconic lines but it's so lacking. It misses the true heart and strength and point of the story because Kubrick went and did his own thing. The 90s made-for-tv adaptation is brilliant. It has its weak points and there's a few things that visually aged in a clunky way, but the heart is there. The catharsis and the hope is there. It moved me to tears and it gave me everything I could have asked for and more.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Fear Street trilogy (2021) - They were fun, a lot of fun, and for someone who's never been a fan of R.L. Stine, these were still easy to enjoy. I heard about the trilogy being released and it felt like the kind of thing I remembered from childhood as far as gimmicky releases went, so each weekend, I dove onto the couch and watched them drop on Netflix one by one. I still have a lot of issues and complaints with them, dgmw, but they're a solid summer watch, they really played around with popular subgenres and I think Janiak and her cast and crew did well. One day I'll get back to my fics for this trilogy too. Justice for my girl Ruby Lane.

Us (2019) - ngl this one sat in my brain for weeks afterwards. I need to rewatch it, it's such a good psychological horror.

Urban Legend (1998) - I have a fuckoff weird relationship with this movie. Like, that deserves its own post, probably. But because I have such a weird relationship with it, I felt the need to give it an honorable mention.

Halloween (2018) - I'm here for senior citizen final girl Grandma Laurie Strode kicking ass, I love seeing a survivor reach that age and still be willing to do what it takes to survive and protect those she loves.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) - this is a weird one because I wouldn't say I enjoy watching it like most other movies. But it's a really interesting study piece, especially the more I read nonfiction books that go into depth and detail about the film and the time period it's contemporary to. I don't watch this movie for fun, I watch it to study, to analyze, to self-inform and to then improve my ability to apply those skills to other horror movies I watch.

[fire-fira]

A list of random (hilarious as shit) bad shark movies that I might or might not have Eddie subject La'gaan to in my first DC Rarepair Week fic:

This first one is a little on the nose, but--

Devil Fish. A shark-octopus hybrid. South Florida coast. With a line up of characters that sounds like the set up for a joke following the words '-walk into a bar'. Freaking 2.7 stars. It sounds delightfully horrible.

2) Then we've got--

"Amphibious shark-like monster"-- because why not? (I freaking hope this thing has legs. If it's like one of those shark puppy drawings I'll be cry-laughing.) This one's got a 5 star rating, but considering it's from '98 I'm kind of hoping it's one of those cases of 'so bad it's actually good'.

3) This though... Dear gods... 😂

ATOMIC. SHARK. 2.7 stars. And a shark that looks like it has a freaking bomb strapped to it because why the hell not? What's more destructively nonsensical and what-the-actual-fuck than gods-damned bomb-toting sharks?

4) And because someone had to almost combine a shark with a fucking xenomorph--

Toxic Shark. 3.3 stars. Not only is the shark somehow poisonous and "infesting" the water (seriously, how tf does a single animal 'infest' anything? You kind of need a lot of them for 'infesting' to be the right term here), but it has projectile acid spit. That it can apparently fire out of the water at its prey. Because WHY NOT?

5) Of course the what-the-fuck-ery can't stop there--

--because mother-fucking Sand Sharks. 2.7 stars. If I watch this one, istg I want this to feel like it should be a side thing to the Tremors series. I want it to be so hilariously stupid and nonsensical that it feels like it should exist in the same world.

6) Considering I've mentioned this one before in some of my headcanon posts of what Eddie would expose La'gaan to, I'd be remiss if I didn't include--

Ghost Shark. 3.3 stars. Because if you want shark movie crack, this is SHARK MOVIE CRACK. (Last time I saw this one there were some moments I was laughing so hard I was damn near wheezing. The deaths are just... so hilariously stupid. I can't.)

7) Ah, but guess what--

Did you know there's a Ghost Shark 2? Because I sure as hell didn't. 2.6 stars. I'm honestly hoping-- if I do see it-- that it's just as much wtf CRACK as the first one.

8) This one... I shouldn't pick on the anatomy of this thing, but--

Dinoshark. 3.2 stars. They straight up slapped a t-rex-like head on that thing. Why does it have a t-rex head? I don't know! Doesn't matter! It's a ✨dinoshark✨! It doesn't have to make sense! (Though I do have to wonder if it has a neck, because at this angle I can't tell. lol)

9) I didn't think it was possible to get this low on this list, and yet--

Jurassic Shark, at a whopping 1.5 stars. On one hand I'm curious because of that old trope of 'It was frozen in ice, but it thawed out and is still aliiiive!!!!' and I want to see just how bad it is. On the other hand, with it being the only one on this list so far to hit 1.5 stars, I do have my concerns that it'll drop from 'so bad it's hilarious' to just straight up 'OOF, this is baaad.'

10) This one, ngl, is here just because this description is making me crack up to no end.

The Shark Hunter. 5.1 stars. "A crusty recluse-" gross, but hilarious "-on a Caribbean island who is dedicated to destroying sharks-" dude why? Get a fucking hobby ffs. "-gets involved in a hunt for buried treasure." Because shark movies, wanting to be the source of the shark-pocalypse (against sharks), and being crusty and reclusive just naturally goes with treasure-hunting. Yeah. (And wtf is up with that spear he's holding and that thin-ass headband? What is even the point of that thing?)

11) And then there's more 'Let's fuck with nature via fictional science because fuck if it makes sense if it looks cool enough!'

SharkMan. 3.1 stars. Ngl, I barely remember this one-- I think I may have seen it once-- but if it is what I'm remembering then it's some solid what-the-fuck-ery.

12) omg... I can't... wtf... I never knew this one existed. Send help. I am freaking cracking up even thinking about this. JFC.

SHARK EXORCIST. Because it's not enough to have a monster-movie shark with all the nonsensical what-the-fuck bullshit that's involved, but let's have fucking Satan possess a gods-damned shark. 😂😂😂😂 1.3 stars! It's apparently worse than Jurassic Shark! This one might be so bad it's worth it, I don't know. All I know is that I am mcfuckin' losing it over how hilarious this sounds.

13) Wtf.... Was the other SharkMan a sequel? Idek...

Anyway, Sharkman (without 'Man' having the initial letter capitalized), from 2001 (whereas the one higher up on this list is from 2005). 2.3 stars. I'm honestly not sure if this is the one I vaguely remember, or if it's the 2005 one, but either way 'We fucked around and found out with science that doesn't have to make sense because it looks cool!'

14) Pffft. And speaking of things that don't follow logic--

Roboshark! 3 stars! Because a shark biting an alien spacecraft will, 100% for certain, magically make said shark a cyborg-shark. Yup. That's totally how that works. Totally. (This one is absolutely up for consideration because I'm just dying over imagining poor La'gaan going, "That's not how that works! That's not how any of this works!!!")

15) a;lsdkjldsjd;lfa;ldj

Sharkenstein?! Mother-fucking Sharkenstein?! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Holy shit. 2.1 stars. Because why not have the reanimated sewn-together multi-corpse of a shark put together in World War II rampaging around? OMFGGGGGGG

16) omg, now we're going freaking Nightmare On Elm Street with sharks--

Nightmare Shark. 3.6 stars. People. Being hunted. By a "supernatural shark". In their dreams. TELL ME that doesn't sound like Nightmare On Elm Street But Sharks. 'Oh don't sleep, or Sharky Krueger will get you!' I now want to see this shark and Freddy Krueger in a knife fight in an Applebee's parking lot. lol

17) Pffft. Talk about understanding the assignment.

Bad CGI Sharks. 4.6 stars. If you know it's going to be a bad shark movie, then why not deliberately make it as bad as possible by having shitty CGI sharks pop into reality from a script you were writing and just have everything go tits-up like something that'd make about as much sense as Alice's trip to Wonderland? (Ngl, it sounds like they had waaaaayyyy too much fun with this one.)

18) Oh my f- This is like they're dealing with a raccoon. A giant fucking raccoon with giant sharp and pointy teeth, and I just- omfggggg--

House Shark. 3.7 stars. An ex-cop finds out his house is occupied by a 'house shark' and needs the help of a freaking real estate agent and an exterminator. JFC. IT'S A FUCKING RACCOON. 😂

I am freaking dying. lol

Some of these won't make the cut for whichever one I decide to include mention of in my fic due to time placement, but I definitely have a better idea of some of the possibilities.

(I might throw in a poll in a reblog for the most likely possibilities to see if there are any that are really jumping out to people from this list.)

[bloody-spider77]

How I feel looking at my mutuals TicciWork post ideas that come from them and their partners while I haven't had a partner in a year and everything has come from just my mind

lil rant below

cw: attempted suicide, abuse, hitting, cutting, etc

When I was 9, I got into my first ever relationship, this was with a girl two years older than me a grade 7 and I loved her, I romanticized every second of her red flags and later abuse because I wanted to be like the protagonists I'd see on TV. She got depressed, badly and took it out on me when I tried to help. She made me feel like a bad person because I didn't want her to kill herself. I dreaded each and every night that one morning she would just be gone. She led me to isolate and lash out at my family and led me to ignoring or snuffing off friends, she was an awful influence. She told me she'd kill herself if I ever told anyone what was going on, I watched her get worse each day.

Gradually, we quit talking about anything fun or happy and she was so miserable inside and out but I was still romanticizing her abusive patterns. I once had a friend who was being abused, I gave her advice and when she came to me in the following weeks to tell me she was better, the 7th grader began running away from me, calling me names and saying I was going to replace her when all she had been doing was replacing me. She would talk all day about how much better her other friends were or how much I was annoying or gross looking. I stayed fucking put, didn't tell a soul, never argued or disagreed with her.

I had this one day that my real friends wanted to spend time with me and while we sat outside she came up to me, I went to hug her and she started choking me, she choked me for 4 solid seconds before letting go and being chased and screamed at by my friends but I stayed put, I didn't tell a soul, never ran away. When my friends told a teacher, she told me to apologize to her and I did with genuine feeling and she half assed that sorry so hard.

Eventually, she got paranoid worse than ever before and tried to kill me by pouring bleach into my water which thankfully she never did because she got caught. I told my friends that day they said "[insert abusers name] is going to kill you! we have to tell someone." and I told them it was fine and I'd talk it out with her but they knew better. I called my dad and reality hit me, I couldnt stop crying on that call so I had to pass it to the teacher we were telling.

3 years passed and I was still fucking miserable about her, i thought it was my fault for just existing and that I was better off letting her kill me because at least she could've finally been happy for something. I texted her and the cycle continued into another year but we were only online because her parents hated me.

That ended badly. There was a lot but I talked enough abt her

moving on to my ex BOYFRIEND!!??? (omg spider's not a total lesbian? I was shocked too) so, last year him and I dated and it was great but to great for my mental state and issues to keep up with so I self sabotaged by pretending I cheated on him to run away from normalcy I wasn't prepped for and I regret that super bad now, i had a lot of growing to do.

We started talking again a bit ago and I told him I lied about the cheating thing and he forgave me, telling me he had a history of cheating on his partners that he stopped after meeting the girlfriend just before me. After talking again for days, his girlfriend he was with when we started talking again, dumped him for personal reasons and we began talking more seriously again. I'm afraid of getting attached still but I dont want to ruin it if it happens again.

[rottingsparrow]

Oh boy oh boy here it is my thoughts on Lore Olympus episodes 1-10 I didn't include any pictures because I'm figuring out how I wanna do this also im tired but here it is:

Episode One: Stag, You’re It

Why the title

Minthes hair like connects to her head without a line not bad just a comment

Hades’ sharp ass nose but I enjoy the colors, not super bright yknow

Hera looks so cool but also like snatched almost unnaturally

She is a god tho so

Zeus lets goooo such a solid color imo

Im sorry but artemis’ hair is a lil ugly

Love that all the main characters are snatched /s

Episode Two: Who is She?

And Persophone is now 3 shades lighter ok

Also like i hate the dress Artemis gives persephone it ugly

Persophones hair changed lengths like 2 times but maybe im seeing it wrong

Also artemis if she doesnt wanna be here leave wtf

How is. How is hades holding his drink

Zeus changed colors king

I understand lighting and shading but like. Damn

Ok so if Poseidon hates Odysseus does that mean the events of the Odyssey already happened

Ep 3: Who is She pt 2

LMAO what is hades’ nose

Why did she have random parts w/ no color not a complaint just curious

HER FOREHEAD SO LARGE IN THIS ONE PANEL

“Short sighted” Do we ever see him wear glasses again

Zeus’ lil. Hair thingies keep disappearing

“Honestly i think she puts Aphrodite to shame” wow comparing women/hj

Seriously tho like. why

Ep 4: Who is she pt 3

Idk why she does random scenes where the characters are all like just one color. Not bad per say but weird

Gives artemis huge boobs and in one panel they are either smaller or gone

Artemis bestie if that one thing distracts you from your friend you gotta get ur priorities straight

“Hey kiddo wanna have some real fun” ew

Omg purple eros

So much hair

Did she just give her hair powers so she could draw diff styles lets be honest

Ep 5:

Aphrodites hip angle is so sharp it could kill me

“Friggin” makes my mind go to supernatural and i dont appreciate it

Omg shes a cinnamon roll shes so adorable and gorgeous and yet sexy and *i get shot*

Mother emotionally guilting her son omg its my life

The listen panel. Haunts my dreams

Why does she have so many different painting/coloring styles

LMAO LOOK AT HADES ON THE BALCONY its. Its bad

Ep 6

W hy do they stand like that persephone pls

Love demeters colors tho

This is. This is the metaphor for the maidenhood thing right

Thats how i always saw it

Wow persephone you just woke up and you look so pretty wowww woww

Rachel rachel please does her hair have bangs or not just choose

I do actually like the panel with cerberus, persephone, and hades its nice

Ep 7

Cerberus is so cute

Hades shut the fuck up

The coat is cute

Persephone get off the counter this isnt ur house

Whos minthe? Stop being nosy damn

Didnt really have much to say bout this one

Ep 8

Why are both their eyes open i know they arent in love but that so weird right

Is his dick out or is she just naked on him

“Salutiations” old man

Every second i read persephones eyes get bigger

“I would pay you a salary to barge in on every single aspect of my life” is actually cute however. You literally just met her she hasnt even introduced herself

I dont understand why he thought she meant sex idk

I like that his business card has diff names for him

SHE WAS HOLDING HERS IN HER TITTY WHY

Ep 9

Persephone giggling over that is kinda weird imo but whatever

Persephone please pic a face shape

“Come here puppy” look. Look at her face. Wtf

Train ur dogs hades smh

We never see like any of these dogs fuck you rachel i want dogs

“Let the unionize see if i care” haha so funny haha wow so. So funny. Hades ur such a character

Why is her mouth so high up in this one panel

Hehe puppy

Man in bushes

Ep 10

Why does he have so many cars he doesnt need em

The little :p panel is cute

NOT HER FACE AGAIN RACHEL PLEASE JUST LOOK ONCE MORE

Stop yelling hades

Persephones hair is looking bad rn ngl

I love the colors of the underworld tbh

Rachel please go in depth on how you travel there between realms i am so curious

Artemis randomly gains bangs

I know her hair was flowing but her bangs are too short to completely disappear

Why do his eyes randomly turn red honestly

Goodbye thank god

[piilokarsastus]

You wanna find out some personal shit?

1. Any scars? Nothing cool. I do have a little dent on my forehead from the time my friend accidentally drew blood on me with a toy sword when we were like 12 but that’s about it. But yesterday, I accidentally caused myself a 7 cm long (and luckily very shallow) cut on my forearm so we’ll see what happens with that.

2. Self harmed? I’ve done things that probably count as self harm but I’ve never cut myself (on purpose...) or anything like that.

3. Crush? Not at the moment, although there’s a person who could definitely change that if we saw each other a bit more often.

4. Kissed anyone? It’s been like 2,5 years but yeah.

5. Coke or Pepsi? I don’t like to breathe in carbon dioxide, much less drink it.

6. Someone you hate? Conservatives. What exactly is it that you’re trying to conserve? Society has always been in constant change and there’s little you or anyone can do to stop it. Seriously, didn’t you learn anything from the Congress of Vienna?

7. Best Friends? I’ve had several but I’m currently in a phase where I’m not that close to anyone.

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? No. I’ve tasted alcohol plenty of times but I don’t think it counts as “doing” it if I don’t get drunk.

9. What’s your dream job? Teaching music theory somewhere in higher education (you know, with motivated adult students who don’t have to be disciplined)

10. Ever been in love? Yes

11. Last time you cried? Last proper cry was probably in January but my eyes have been known to get watery whenever I see a tiktok about someone’s cat passing away.

12. Favorite color? There are so many good colours out there but I’m gonna say ultramarine blue.

13. Height? 170 cm

14. Birthday? September 6

15. Eye color? [shrug emoji]

16. Hair color? a very deep brown

17. What do you love? classical music. nature. cats. food.

18. Obsession? classical music. nature. cats. food.

19. If you had one wish, what would it be? That no human was capable of any sort of violence towards other humans. I think that would pretty much solve every problem we have as a society.

20. Do you love someone? romantically, no

21. Kiss or hug? why not both?

22. Nicknames people call you? none at the moment

23. Favorite song? Ravel’s “Asie” does give me the chills every time

24. Favorite band? The Netherlands Bach Society

25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? finding out my crush chose someone else over me is up there but I’m so very over it now

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you? idk

27. Something you would change about yourself? nothing much, just like my entire face and body #justnonbinarythings

28. Ever dated someone? yes. it’s been five years... but yes.

29. Worst mistake? Hard to say. Me choosing to get to know aforementioned crush did lead to a very weird and not always easy 2022 but I guess it lead to some growth as well.

30. Watch the movie or read the book? If we’re talking adaptations, the original is always better.

31. Ever had a heartbreak? yup.

32. Favorite show? Better Call Saul

33. Best day of your life? there have been many great days in my life but just based on concentration of emotions felt in a singular day, none have felt quite as great as high school graduation day on June 2nd 2018.

34. Any talents? I’m great at making music and a pretty solid writer. I also have a fantastic memory.

35. Do you wish you could ever start over? Start over what, my life in general? There are experiences I’d like to relive and things I wish I experienced but never did, but I’m reasonably happy with how things have turned out. I have often wondered what my life would be like if I were a different person altogether but that’s kind of the point of “self”, if I was any different I’d be someone else.

36. Any bad habits? indulging like every single craving i get. god giving me access to wolt was a mistake of drastic consequenses

37. Ever had a near death experience? no

38. Someone I can tell anything to? my mum 

39. Ever lost a loved one? no

40. Do you believe in love? yes. it sure is a thing that exists.

41. Someone you hate/Dislike? wasn’t there a question like this already?

42. Are you okay? honestly, yes? more so than in a long time.

43. Relationship status? single, and for the first time in 5 years it doesn’t seem to be bothering me that much.

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Top 7's: My Top 7 Favorite Fighting Game Characters #7: Aoko Aozaki (Melty Blood: Type Lumina): Long red hair? T-shirt jeans combo? Laidback & positive personality? Balanced playstyle that leans towards zoning? Giant laser beams!? SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY! Oh wait, she’s free? Well, I had to pay for the game anyway so the point still stands.

#6:Darkrai (Pokken Tournament DX): After trying and liking quite a few members of Pokken's roster, I never would have thought that the edgelord Pokemon would wind up as my favorite. A trap character who can turn the shadows he leaves into dark vines and activate a super mode by trapping his foes in their own bad dreams? Sounds like a nightmare to fight but a dream to play and watch. Also, where Pokken 2?

#5: Dr. Mario (Super Smash Bros Series): The topic of my favorite Smash character changes on a dime. I don't so much have mains as characters that I play. However, my love for the Doc has been pretty consistent all things considered. From chucking pills at my cousin in Melee to back throwing my friends in Ultimate, playing this plumber turned pharmacist leaves a smile on my face nine times out of ten.

#4: Android 17 (Dragon Ball Fighterz): When I played Marvel 3, my favorite character was Iron Fist. A speedy ground centric, rekka machine with fun combos and awesome supers. MVP17 in FighterZ is similar in this regard but with additional points in his favor. Namely, I've used him more in actual matches, I have a stronger attachment to the character himself, and it was fun to watch his rise from DBFZ's worst to viable to an amazing character through balance patches.

#3: Tohru Adachi (Persona 4 Arena Ultimax, Blazblue Cross Tag Battle): I loathed this character in Persona 4. I am entranced by this character in Arena. Among other things like his specials, supers, and renewed character arc, learning how to do his combo where he smacks his target between him and his persona like a tennis ball is one of my proudest fighting game moments. That and his back walk deserves to be hung up in a museum. Plus, they brought him back in Cross Tag Battle and not only gave him another great story moment but let me use him alongside some of my other favorites (who are unfortunately not on this list).

#2: Alex (Street Fighter 3 & 5, Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom): When I first laid eyes on him, I thought Alex was cool. That feeling has intensified after learning his simple combos, fun to use specials, and his ability to power bomb giant golden lighter men. There are other reasons to be sure but the major reason he's this high is that he is the only fighting game character I have bought games for just because he was in them. And I have not been disappointed yet (except in SF5 when he wasn't there at launch). Really hoping he makes it back into SF6 at some point...or any 3rd strike character for that matter.

#1: Axl Low (Guilty Gear XX+R, Xrd & Strive): The first (traditional) fighting character I ever tried to learn seriously (thanks to the game's bevy of awesome tutorials). A grab bag of varied tricks, a cocksure but friendly attitude, and the ability to knock your opponents around like a rag doll with chain sickles made me want to rock out hard. And then Strive game him a cooler outfit, time stopping powers, some new moves and a rock solid conclusion to his character arc and now he is number one. No regrets.

[jxmbi]

⠀

[izzielizzie]

I don't remember if you've already made a similar post but what is your opinion about all the changes they made from the book in oouil? And your opinion in general about the show

oh god i genuinely stopped talking about the show like three episodes in because i was mad but i think it's been enough time to talk about it without sounding insane

#1: Detention

there was no reason to make the b4 have different reasons for getting detention. the phones was a good red herring when nate was a suspect, and a good way to show that none of the people in detention should have been in detention. all the different reasons were boring tbh

#2: The Distraction

the car crash added a lot of drama, but also it was a solid lead. it was the first time anyone other than maeve realized simon was involved.

#3: Keely/Cooper

i actually liked this change? a little? cooper's relationship with keely and his brother was a lot more interesting to watch, and only made sense because of other changes (namely, the popular groups' secrets). however, i'm sad cooper missed the chance to really step away from expectations (the perfect girlfriend) to what he wants (kris).

#4: Vanessa/TJ

i didn't really like vanessa as a character in the show tbh (she was funnier than book vanessa i'll give her that) but her relationship with tj kind of took away from the whole point of having tj in the book: tj was an outsider. he was sort of a reprieve for addy. everyone in her friend group was sitting passively while she struggled with jake, but tj, who, for all intents and purposes, wasn't really part of the group, was able to say "hey. what jake is doing is wrong. everyone can see that". this tj is too busy being vanessa's bf to do that properly.

#5: Addy/Jake

tbh i kind of liked jake/addy as a couple in the first episode. they were adorable. the trouble with the show was that there was no way to see jake was a bad boyfriend. in the book, jake did things that made me feel uncomfortable. he didn't let addy around other boys. he didn't want her to wear a sweater at night because it wasn't cute. those are small things that definitely show ho unhealthy the relationship was, and makes everything that happens make sense.

#6: Addy/TJ

i sort of hate the fact that tj was a suspect. his entire character was supposed to just be a friend to addy. not whatever he was.

#7: Addy

i know, i know that this is a tv show and we don't get internal dialogue and that's where addy mostly grew but seriously? going back to jake? ahhhhhh i can't even talk about it i hate it so much

#8: Bronwyn

i never really loved bronwyn? i mean she's a great character and she's super important but she's never been my favorite narrator or rojas sister or character tbh but here she was sometimes insufferable. i don't even have a reason it was a vibe? also the way she treated her sister? the fact that she thought maeve was a murderer??? book bronwyn would never.

#9: Maeve

speaking of the rojas sisters... WHAT THE HELL??? maeve's character was ruined which is so sad because melissa is an amazing actress and would have really captured book maeve so well. i sort of hated her outfits? she was always described in jeans and t-shirts which fits her vibes more than whatever she wore in the show. and her cancer trauma wasn't talked about at all unless it was about simon? and the whole simon friendship was stupid because she hated him. the fact that she outed cooper was... i can't even talk about it, it makes me so mad. and her and janae? book maeve hated janae for very valid reasons. am i happy that there is a universe in which it's cannon that maeve is bi? yes. but i hate who she's paired with.

#10: Cooper

cooper was so agressive? and angry? and not coop at all? i didn't like it.

#11: Kris

kris?? babe??? what??? he was supposed to be a haven for cooper, someone who loves him unconditionally even though cooper was too scared to tell the truth. dumping cooper because he wasn't out yet was the opposite of what kris would do.

#12: The Bayview Four

the whole allure of oouil is that they band together to solve the murder and that if they hadn't then their lives would have gone downhill. maeve even says so in the first chapter of oouin. they spent the entire time arguing and it makes no sense. they're still not close and a whole season has passed

#13: Jake and Simon

a dare?? a fucking dare??? and now they're both dead?? it makes no sense

#14: Vanessa

i don't even want to think about her tbh. it's all just messed up.

#15: i'm done for now but i'm also me so... Luis

luis supported cooper when no one else from their group would, luis supplied important information, and luis was a good fucking love interest for maeve.

okay that's all i have i don't even know if i answered the question lol

[ughdontbeboring]

5 more days

Henry Cavill x Reader

this is TOTALLY self-indulgent and base off my current life at the moment, obviously not completely *le sighs* missing Mr. Cavill 🥺

warnings: cussing, oral mentioned, talk of surgery

10:05pm

“No!”

“Love”

“Noooo”

“Love you have to open your mouth”

“Absolutely not! I said no Henry!”

“Just open your mouth, it will be quick, I promise”

“Goodbye Henry!”

Henry sighed as he watched the adult women he adored, hide under the thick comforter blanket in front of him. She continued to huff as she tired to burrow her body into the bed and the stacks of blankets and pillows.

“Love will you come out of there? This is the last one of the day”

He was meet with silence.

“If it makes you feel better I’ve made myself one”

He waited a moment. The blanket slowly starting to move as she poked a eye out, eyeing him and his two full hands. True to his word he had two protein shakers both filled with the same amount of vanilla protein.

He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows at her. Coaxing her out from under her fortress.

She covered herself again before he heard her huff and push herself from the comfort of her blankets. She slowly crawled over to him.

“What would I do without you?” She asks in a small voice

“Hmmm good thing you’ll never have to find out” He said before placing a sweet kiss on her lips “now drink”.

She rolled her eyes as he pushed the shaker into her hands. Henry cheers her shaker before gulping his down. She turned up her face as she quickly finished the vanilla protein shake with almond milk. She knew it wasn’t that bad BUT having to have 8 shakes a day for a week without any food because of her liquid diet was starting to wear on her. She was 4 days in and had 5 days left before her surgery. She had to have a corrective procedure done on her abdomen so her stomach needed to be empty and the other organs smaller to avoid any complications with the procedure.

Henry was strict with her, not allowing her to slip up and potentially complicate her procedure. She was thankful for it, she knew it was out of love. She didn’t think she could get through it without him being there with her. He even went to far as to eat his food in his game room only, so she wouldn’t smell or see it. Almost all the meals take out so the house wouldn’t smell like food.

Half way into her week and it wasn’t even the hunger anymore it was the headaches and nausea from having so much pure protein.

“Good girl”

Her eyes shot up to his blue ones, twinkling at the praise. He smiled again before bringing her into a more passionate kiss. She broke the kiss when his tongue sought hers.

“Eww! Protein kiss, yuck!”

He playfully glared at her before grabbing her shaker and standing up heading for the door.

“Baby can you grab me something to suck on?” She ask sweetly laying back on the bed.

Henry’s eyes twinkled with mischief as his eyes ran up and down her.

“hmm look at that I’ve got the prefect thing on me, just let me put these down” He said before smirking.

She watched as he moved to put the shakers down, one hand quickly moving to the band of his sweat pants.

“Henry!”

“Oh, not this?” He asked toying with the band of his loose sweatpants.

“Baby stop playing!”

They both laughed as he picked the shakers back up.

”seriously I’m hungry I might bite you” she said half serious.

“Yeahhhhh, I’ll get your ice pops babe”

“Thank you baby”

“No problem” he said before winking and walking out the room.

“I’ll suck your dick after the ice pops babe! So it taste like strawberries instead of protein shake!” She yelled as she heard him laughing as he made his way down the stairs.

Gosh she couldn’t wait til this procedure was over so they could go back to stuffing their faces with food, something they made after finding it on IG and laying on the couch with Kal laying on his doggie bed while some movie played.

She already knew the first meal she wanted once she was back on solids.

Just 5 more days girl and dick won’t be the only solid thing your having

It sounds like all fun and games until you have to turn down fried chicken, tacos and pasta.

* * *

*this liquid diet is horrible and it’s not even the hunger its the fact that it’s triggering my migraines, I’ve had one since Monday, its so painful and it’s making me nauseous. I can’t take asp which I usually would Or eat which helps. Can’t do either of those til after Monday so FML.

[sleepdeprivedsloth]

May I request prompts 4 and 30, with Kaminari? Whoever else you want to add is fine. He's just the cutest ever, I couldn't not send in a request! Thank you for your time :)

a/n: omg i was so excited to write for kami bc he is the cutest ever and just sorta powered through this, but then realized at the end that i completely forgot to put in the numbered prompt quote things lmfaoo! don't worry, i got them in :) thanks anon <3

Best Bud Benefits

[MHA - Kirishima, Kaminari]

words: 1.4 k

#4: “D-don’t come any closer…”

#30: “You can run, but you can’t hide!”

--

Kaminari wasn’t sure if his quirk was more blessing or curse. There were the obvious advantages of his electrification. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be their own source of electricity? He’d never have to deal with the struggle of finding an outlet or the panic of a power outage, so of course his quirk was more of a blessing, right?

Wrong. The electric blonde could not go a full day without someone asking for-

“Hey, Denks!” Kirishima called, bursting into Kaminari’s dorm room, where he lay sprawled out across his bed. “Could you do me a solid and-”

“Nope,” Kaminari interrupted, giving a dramatic pop to the p. 

Kirishima paused in his tracks, a bit confused. “I didn’t even fini-”

The blonde held up a hand, signalling for the redhead to stop. “You need me to do a quick charge on your phone?” Kaminari guessed with a deadpan expression. 

“Well, yeah-”

“Thought so.” Kaminari brought his attention away from his friend and back to his phone. “Sorry Kiri, but that’s a big nope from me.”

Kirishima fished his phone out of his pocket and started waving it around in the air. “Wha- why not? I thought we were best buds, bro!”

“We still are best buds, man,” Kaminari looked up with a reassuring smile before returning his gaze to his screen. “I’m just a bit tired of everyone using me as a fast battery fill up. And that includes you!”

“I hardly ever ask you to fill up my phone!” Kirishima insisted.

“Dude, you literally asked this morning before class. What do you even do on your phone to use up that much battery?!” he asked incredulously.

“It’s not my fault Mario Kart World Tour takes up a butt ton of battery!!”

A resigned sigh left Kaminari’s lip as he gestured towards a nearby outlet in his room. “Just go plug your phone into the wall. It’s not like I’m the only thing that can charge your phone.”

“But you can charge it so much faster!” Kirishima put on a playful pout, moving closer to his friend, who had put his own phone away at this point. “Isn’t there anything I can do to make you change your mind? Just this once?”

“Sorry dude,” the blonde just shrugged. “My mind’s made up.”

“How about I treat you to dinner? Or I could do your homework for a week?”

At that, Kaminari let out a few short laughs. “Ohokay, one: save your little dinner date for Bakugou. And two: your grades are nearly as bad as my own!”

“Ughhh, come on!!” the redhead gave out an exaggerated groan. Almost absentmindedly, his hand had reached out towards his friend, and he had begun to poke a singular finger into Kaminari’s side. “There’s seriously nothing I can do to-”

Kaminari momentarily sputtered at the gentle pokes before efficiently shoving the finger away. “Hmngh n-nope, nothing you can do!”

A small smirk began to spread across Kirishima’s lips with realization. “What was that?” he asked teasingly, slowly moving both of his hands closer and closer towards Kaminari, wiggling the tips of his fingers just slightly.

Kaminari bolted up from his bed and ran as fast as he could out the door. He sprinted through the hall, but he could hear that Kirishima was not too far behind.

“You can run, but you can’t hide! Where do you think you’re gonna go, Denks?”

“Anywhere but here!” Kaminari shouted behind his shoulder as he finally got to the elevator, but sadly, Kirishima had caught up to him even before he could reach the buttons. “Nononoooo!!” Kaminari tried fruitlessly to wiggle away, but it didn’t stop Kirishima from successfully dragging him back into his room.

Kirishima practically threw Kaminari onto the bed and watched as his body bounced a bit from the impact. Once he looked back up to his friend, Kaminari was met with the spine-chilling sight of Kirishima’s hands and their claw-like fingers raised threateningly towards him.

“D-don’t come any closer…”

“Oh, but you never answered my question~” In a bright red flash, Kirishima was now leaning over the bed, hands teasingly positioned just above Kaminari’s stomach. “Now tell me,” his voice only above a whisper, fingers moving close, too close… “What was with that noise you made earlier?”

When the fingers inevitably touched down on his tummy, and even though they weren’t moving yet, nervous giggles began to fill the room. “Nohohothing, ihit was nohothing!”

“Hmm, really?” Kirishima climbed onto the bed, settling himself upon Kaminair’s thighs, still resting his still hands tauntingly on top of his stomach. “Because it kinda sounds like it was something~”

“Ihit wasn’t!” Kaminari squirmed underneath the soft, unmoving pressure of Kirishima’s fingers, the anticipation filling him with titters. “Hands ohohoff! GAH! Nohohoho!”

The fingers dived underneath Kaminari’s loose t-shirt and began gently kneading into the sensitive flesh on the sides of the blonde’s belly, efficiently ending his jittery anticipation. “Oh no, what’s the matter, Denks? Something wrong?” Kirishima teased with a face-splitting grin.

Kaminari tried curling up or pushing the hands away, but the constant giggling had drained him of his strength. Even without the tickly touches, he still would’ve struggled with shoving Kirishima away. I mean, come on, the guy was literally a rock! “Kirihihehehehe!! Gahahahaha, ihihihit tihihihickles!”

“Oh really? Well, maybe I could make the tickles go away…” Kirishima let out a small chuckle at Kaminari enthusiastically nodding his head. “But I would need a small favor in return.”

“Yohohou’re sohohoho mehehehean!!” Kaminari’s torso instinctively twisted and turned, attempting to dislodge Kirishima’s torturous fingers. Unfortunately, his efforts only managed to press the fingers further into his tummy, making the touches all the more ticklish. “Yohohou cahan’t just tihihickle mehehe to get whahahat youhuhu wahant!”

“Huh, that’s funny, because I kinda think that I can, Giggles.” Kirishima began to move his kneading inward, getting ever more closer to the boy’s belly button.

“NO, Kihihiri plehease! Plehehehease nohohot thehehere!”

Completely ignoring his friend’s pleas, Kirishima wiggled a finger into the sensitive navel while rubbing circles into the nearby skin with his other hand. He playfully gasped through the rising laughter from the classmate below him, “Oh no! Did I find a little tickle spot right here?”

“Nonononahahahahahaha!! Gehet ouhuhut ohohof thehehere, nohohot thahahat spohohohot!”

“Man, if only there was something you could do…” Kirishima pondered aloud, alternating between scratching his nail against the inside walls and trying to wiggle his finger down to the bottom of the small pocket.

“SohOHOhomewhere eHEhelse! MoHOhove soHOHomewHEHEhere ehEHelse!!”

“Hmm.. nah, I think right here is perfect, don’t you?”

“OHOkahahay, I give, I gihIHIHIVE!!”

Kirishima spontaneously scribbled and dug all of his fingers with all his might, a bright smile of sharp teeth on his face. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I’LL CHAHAHARGE YOHOHOUR PHOHOHONE, I’LL CHAHAHARGE IHIHIHIT! STOHOHOP, KIHIHIHIRI PLEHEHEHEASE!!”

Kirishima stilled his fingers and began rubbing the palm of his hands across Kaminari’s torso, washing away the ghost tingles that his tickling left behind. “You all good, bro?”

“Ehehe, yeahah, I’m all gohohood.” Kaminari sat up as Kirishima moved off of his thighs. “Whehere’s your phohone at?”

“Don’t worry about it, Denks, you don’t have to charge it,” Kirishima said with a shake of his head.

“What?” Kaminari asked, extremely confused. “Wasn’t that the whole reason why you chased and tickled me?! So that I would charge your phone??”

Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “Oh yeah! Well, to be honest, I just wanted to cheer you up. You looked kinda upset when I came in here to ask you, and you’re right! You’re my best bud and I shouldn’t be using you as my own portable charger, especially when I already asked for a charge this morning. I’ve been super unmanly lately, but do you think you can forgive me?”

“Aww, bro! Of course I forgive you!” Kaminari practically jumped onto Kirishima, giving him a reassuring hug, which was quickly reciprocated. “Thanks, Kiri.”

“Anytime, Denks.”

“Okay, listen up, I’ve got a new rule: best buds get one free charge up per day!” Kaminari exclaimed, still embracing Kirishima, but slowly moving his hands lower so that they were above his lower ribs. “And since you’ve already used up your free charge, you’re gonna have to pay in order to get another one.”

“Pay? Dude, c’mon, you know I’m broke. How am I supposed to pa- AHAHAHAHAHA!! WAHAHAHAIT, NOHOHOHAHAHAHA!!”

--

a/n: thank youuu and i hope you enjoyed! have a wonderful morning/day/evening everyone <3

[dottiechan]

ICEBREAKER Pt. 1

Read on AO3 (link in bio)

Part 1 | Part 2&3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Pairing: Crosshair x Reader x Hunter; Tech x Reader (platonic)

Wordcount: 2389

Summary: Tech watches on helplessly as his brothers' affection for you threaten to ruin the squad.

Warnings: cursing, yearning

You’re just as cold on the inside as the ice is under your boots. It crunches with every step you take, and your heart seems to beat along with the fall of your boots, aching. You feel unsteady, almost enough to miss the tracks running in the snow right in front of you. You pause and crutch down, gloved fingers dipping into the indentations as you grumble to yourself. It’s not even your turn to scope out the area where you’re setting up camp, and besides, there is a literal tracking genius in your squad - it really shouldn’t be you who’s out here in the snow and ice, eyes straining against the blinding white of the planet, fingers freezing off as you set up perimeter alarms. And yet you just volunteered for the less than ideal task without explanation, not understanding your own decision either.

At least Tech offered to tag along, but you suspect he’s simply had enough of his brothers for a while. Not that you can blame him.

“Fascinating.”

You sigh, internally begging him to stop talking as you stand, abandoning the tracks after deciding they most likely belong to a lone whitefang. You have enough on your plate right now, with Hunter still being pissy and Crosshair avoiding you like the plague, and silence would be much more preferable right now to listening to one of Tech’s rambles.

“Did you know that this moon’s surface is almost entirely composed of water?”

“No.”

“Despite the subzero surface temperature, there are subsurface oceans underneath the ice that are warmed by the moon’s internal heat.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I wish we could stay long enough for me to study the subsurface flora and fauna. There might be plants underneath the ice that-”

“Tech.”

“-that use chemosynthesis-”

“Tech!”

“What?”

He has the decency to look flustered, one hand gripping the datapad tightly, the other flying up to adjust his goggles as he peers up at you. You didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but sometimes you just can’t help it. Sometimes, the confinement of the Marauder is enough to turn you into a ticking time bomb, irritated by the slightest seemingly innocent things. And you’ve had more than just mere sparks to flare your temper as of late.

...

His rifle is spotless, and yet he’s still scrubbing it as if his life depended on it.

Maybe it does, because if he jumps up and lowers his guard for a second, he’s out the ship and off to find you and Tech. Maybe you’re a fool sometimes, a god damn nuisance, a person he still couldn’t grow used to, but you belong with them now, you’re theirs, you’re his, and that means something to him. You frustrate him beyond reason, and he often grows callous and agitated because he refuses to allow himself to feel the emotions you elicit from him whenever you’re near him.

Even now, on an ice planet, the mere thought of you infects him with a sweet, sweet jungle fever that knocks him off his feet.

And he’s supposed to be angry now, Crosshair reminds himself. After all, you almost gotten yourself killed on Bracca, and almost broke him in the process.

“They’ve been gone for too long,” Hunter grumbles as he paces up and down like a caged nexu craving to run free. But lately Crosshair began to suspect that he craves something else, someone else, and the thought has his throat tightening in jealousy. He’s been watching, and he convinced himself that he’d misread the signs until he saw the same agitation reflect in his brother’s eyes that he himself has to wrestle with every day.

If it ever came down to your choice, he knows he wouldn’t be it, and he hates living with this knowledge.

Hunter has all the things you seem to like - unlimited kindness, longing looks, smirks that turn a little too soft when directed at you, broad shoulders he caught you staring at more times than he can count. Deep down, he’s still hoping it will never come to you having to choose, but it’s impossible not to wish to be in the centre of your attention. You drive him insane, but you also make him want to commit and stop fighting and lay down his weapons for once in his god damn life.

“Relax. They’re probably fine.”

The screen to their left lights up, and Hunter rushes across the ship in long strides before exhaling in relief. “The proximity alarms are online. They should be heading back soon.”

Crosshair sucks in a breath, worried about seeing his own emotions sitting behind Hunter’s eyes as well.

...

You were assigned to assist the Bad Batch for an unspecified period of time some months ago. You’re a versatile field agent, specialising in both stealth and combat casualty care, one of the few volunteers who were qualified enough to join the GAR. Oh, and you’re also clearly mistrusted by your new squad as they flip out the very moment you risk yourself in the line of duty. You’re not stupid, you weighed the risks carefully, and you trusted your abilities to see you through the job unharmed.

But ever since the incident on Bracca, you’re given the cold shoulder by most on the squad, and for once, the scenery matches your mood.

And yet Tech deserves better than to be cut off like that. He deserves to be listened to, and appreciated as the good man he is. You’re friends, but in moments like these, you think you don’t deserve his friendship.

“Look, I’m... I’m sorry, okay? But right now, I have too much on my mind to think about, umm, chemo...”

“Chemosynthesis?”

“Yeah, that.”

“I think I understand,” he nods, satisfied with your half-assed apology for the time being as he goes back to scanning the vast icy desert stretching as far as the eye can see. The Marauder’s lights blink in the background, orange against the dark blue of the growing darkness that surrounds you. It’s like a beacon, a sign that promises warmth, and you gaze at it longingly until you remember that you’ll have to go back to Crosshair’s scowl and Hunter’s disapproving frown and Wrecker’s awkward little smiles. Somehow, the ice is preferable once more, and the snow that just began to fall in soft flakes is little more than a mild annoyance.

“Well, aside from a few distant life forms-”

“Whitefangs.”

“Yes, most likely whitefangs - aside from those, we should be quite safe inside the ship for tonight.”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “You might be. I’m not the most popular with the squad right now, remember?”

“You are a valued addition,” Tech declares, and the certainty in his voice releases inside you the emotional equivalent of a sucker punch. All you can do is stand, and fight the sting of tears in your eyes. You’re confident, but you never in your wildest dreams imagined how difficult it would be to live up to the expectations of a special unit. You also know your worth, but it’s hard to keep on believing in yourself steadfastly when the rest of your squad doubts your every move. “Which is why the prospect of losing you elicits a rather severe emotional reaction in us. It is rare for regs to warm up to us as well as you have, let alone volunteers. Aside from the obvious tactical disadvantage losing you would mean, I believe it is a little more personal than that.”

...

Hunter knows something is off even before one of the alarms is triggered - whatever it is, it is within five clicks of the ship, making you and Tech plenty exposed before he could do anything. He was straining his ear simply to keep you all safe - so what if he accidentally heard your muffled voice, or the soft crunch of snow underneath your boots?

But now is not the time to be idle, and he knows it. He would never forgive himself if something happened to his squad. And to you, he corrects himself almost softly as he grabs his helmet and checks his weapons quickly. Despite the fact that he’s still angry about your previous carelessness, he cannot deny the forbidden yearning coiling in his stomach whenever you’re on his mind, making him just as nervous as hopeful. And to be fair, it happens more and more often as of late, which is both alarming and exciting as he never thought he’d ever have the luxury to feel this way about someone else. Sure, he knows love, he loves his brothers with all his heart even if he isn’t very vocal about it, but this is different. New, scary, exciting different, an effervescent and persevering tingling blinding all his senses.

Crosshair is beside him in less than a second, rifle in hand, silent, and they share a nod before lowering the ramp and rushing out into the freezing dusk.

When he picks up on your muffled voice, he seems to ignore everything as he breaks into a sprint towards you, hoping to reach you in time before you’re in danger. He almost misses the way Crosshair’s heartbeat picks up, the usually stoic man reeking with genuine worry as he looks through the scope of his rifle.

He can deal with this later, Hunter promises himself as he pushes down this uncomfortable feeling. But then he sees you and Tech, and he seems to forget about anything and everything - you have that unfortunate and awfully distracting effect on him.

...

“But Hunter yelled at me for being reckless for a solid hour. And Crosshair said he didn’t care if I wanted to get myself killed, but I should do it in a way that didn’t interfere with the mission. Seriously, what an asshole.”

“Nevermind what they actually say,” Tech waves his hand in mild annoyance. “Hunter was worried sick. Crosshair almost went after you. And they’re both too pigheaded to admit the real reason why they’re so worked up.”

“Which is?”

“Obviously they both view you as a potential romantic partner.”

There’s a moment of pause as you two stare back at one another before you snort and chuckle, shaking your head and crossing your arms over your chest as a futile attempt at staying warm. “Tech, you need to work on your sense of humour.”

“And you need to work on your observational skills and situational awareness.”

“My observational skills are exceptional,” you defend yourself, a finger held up in the air defiantly. “And my situational awareness is-”

“Lacking, as you didn’t seem to notice the whitefang return. I suggest we head back to the safety of the Marauder.”

Sure enough, the wild cat is there lurking amongst the ice dunes, its eyes glowing in the dark as they reflect the light of the ship. It shouldn’t pose a threat to you as it is alone, and relatively small, but you still consider wrestling with it instead of returning to the ship and facing the rest of the squad - somehow, even that feels like a fight more fair than the ones that await you upon your return. So you hold its gaze as it curiously inspects you, wishing to swap bodies and run away and avoid any more conflict. Before you can even think of returning to the ship, you hear quiet footsteps catching up to you.

“I thought I heard something.”

“It’s probably more curious than anything.”

Hunter unsheaths his vibroblade and twirls it in his hand so theatrically it makes you roll your eyes. He glances at you, shoulders all tense, ready to pounce at the slightest sign of danger, and even though his face is obscured by his helmet, you can almost see the disappointed frown sitting on his features. “You want to test that theory?”

“My money would be on the whitefang winning.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Tech.”

“Any time.”

“Relax.” The distorted rasp of your commlink is not enough to drown out the smugness of the sniper. The stand-off ends when a single well-placed shot right before the big cat sends it sprinting away into the darkness. You all turn to find Crosshair standing by the ship, his rifle still aimed at the retreating form of the whitefang.

“Well, there goes my opportunity to finally have an interesting patrol,” you mutter to yourself as you all make it back to the Marauder.

“Do all of your patrols end in you staring down carnivores?” Crosshair snorts, clearly unamused.

“Only the good ones,” you fire back, deciding not to wait for any of them as you head inside. Crosshair is hot on your heels, another string of mockery sitting on the tip of his tongue, because fuck, you’re stubborn, but he’s not going to cave in and tell you how it makes him feel to see you in danger. He can’t, however, put up with being away from you either.

Hunter lingers a little outside. He has to set himself straight, to contain all the things he wants to say you that have nothing to do with scolding you about Bracca, to kill all the feelings that suddenly demand to be felt so desperately. He clenches and unclenches his fists by his side, pretending to survey the surroundings of the Marauder. Tech moves in the periphery of his vision, but instead of following you and Crosshair, he steps closer to Hunter.

“I believe the threat’s been averted.”

“Yeah. Good job on setting up those alarms, Tech.”

“No problem. Is there anything else you need?”

“No. You should head back inside. The last thing I want is for you to keel over with hypothermia.”

“That’s not how hypothermia works,” Tech mutters, his voice trailing off, eyes uncertain behind his goggles. He suddenly places a gentle hand on Hunter’s shoulder, making the sergeant glance at him.

“Hunter, I’m only asking this because I care about you all, but... how long do you think this can go on before one of you gets hurt?”

Tech’s words echo in his mind long after he’s rejoined the squad on the ship. And Hunter just stands outside in the snowfall, watching the last rays of light disappear on the horizon, wondering which one of you he’ll have to hurt when the push comes to shove.