#like damn at least [other popular au fic] is extremely fucking good

[cuddlytogas]

entering my bitch era (trying to get more into twitter fandom and finding my tl flooded with people talking about A Certain Popular AU Fic that is, frankly, mostly just fine, and being overwhelmed with some of the pettiest little jealous rages you ever did see)

[bigskydreaming]

That last reblog is very informative and useful in figuring out where to find certain storylines. Purely on a personal recommendation note, for anyone looking for good reads and who tends to like my take on things, my recs from that list (and not saying that others I don’t rec aren’t good, just what immediately popped into my head) would be:

Batman: The Long Halloween (yes. its a good)

Batman: Birth of the Demon (if you want to set canon on fire, as many people are wont to do, a good place to start is aggressively ignoring Morrison’s take on Damian’s birth and origin and instead treating this story as his origin and just building off the idea that Talia lied at the end which is waaaaaaaaay better and just like...go from there)

Batman: The Killing Joke (kill it with the fire. we’ve had enough of the killing joke. it can die. even alan moore hates it and he wrote it and alan moore usually loves everything he writes and hates everyone ELSE for like, liking it the wrong way, so I mean, that should tell you a lot)

Batman: The Cult (holy shit I totally forgot about this story and now am off to go reread it again myself)

I have Issues with how ADITF AND A Lonely Place of Dying play out and most popular takes on them, so like, I’m not like, recommending RECOMMENDING them, but I mean like, they are pivotal.

Batman: Knightfall, Legacy, Cataclysm and all things No Man’s Land related have some good stuff throughout all of them. Like, things I don’t like, sure, but overall, there’s a lot of good material in them. Also, a good way to get a strong sense of actual canon Tim, who is not fanon Tim, and who would probably take one look at fanon Tim and go LOL nerd, and kickflip away on his skateboard to go tell Nightwing about this AU version of himself he just met, as like, he actually likes and respects Nightwing, among other differences.

JLA Tower of Babel (its a yawn from me, lads. the source of pretty much all “Batman can beat all of the JLA because he has the greatest superpower of all: PREP TIME!!!” hot takes and I mean, yeah that’s pretty core to Batman and who he is at this point, but the story itself its just like. Eh. Could you not. Idk. Basically I just mean this is all part of an era of JLA that for the most part I actually tend to LIKE Bruce’s interactions with the rest of the team, but then there was this and it was just like. Eh. Could you not).

Bruce Wayne: Murderer? and Bruce Wayne: Fugitive (Quality reads IMO that emphasize the Detective part of the Batfranchise and contain good moments for the whole currently present Batfam, lots of great Cass and Dick stuff in particular. Idk. I havent read them in awhile but I have fond memories)

Batman: Hush (this gets a bad rep and not entirely deserved IMO. Like, its not the greatest story in the world but I like how it portrays Bruce as having flawed dynamics with a lot of his loved ones but not shying away from his role in that but also without overly vilifying him....he’s an appropriately complex character in this, is what I mean, and I also like that this is another story that emphasizes the often lost-and-forgotten Detective part of his core concept. Also, it utilizes some of my fave villains in ways that bring home how much potential certain combinations/team-ups of villains could have if they were utilized more instead of overlooked in favor of ITS TIME FOR THE JOKER AGAIN WHEEEEEEEE!)

Batman: Under the Red Hood (hahahhahaha no. like could you imagine me reccing this? LOL its not realistic. Nah, stick with the animated movie retelling. At least Bruce doesn’t slit his son’s throat in that one to save the damn clown again)

Batman: R.I.P (I reluctantly rec this not because I like it, cuz I don’t, its Morrison back on his bullshit in a most I AM THE MOST GALAXY BRAINED OF ALL THE GALAXY BRAINED AND ALSO IM A CHAOS MAGICIAN DID U KNOW THAT HUH DID YA DID YA, like, fashion. Its. A lot. The story is A Lot. I don’t say that in a complimentary way. BUT I recommend it anyway out of pure stubbornness and Dick Grayson fanboy spite, as its set like, directly before Bruce is believed dead and gets lost in time, and like, A LOT happens to Dick in that story that SHOULD BE extremely relevant and crucial to examinations of his mental and emotional state at the time of him assuming Bruce’s role in the family and as Batman, but that just like....ISN’T, and that annoys me. Also, the primary villain of this, Dr. Hurt, like.....

his grand endgame involved torturing the fuck out of Dick to hurt Bruce specifically, and pretty much the first thing that happens when Bruce DOES come back from being lost in time is Dr. Hurt pops up out of nowhere and shoots Dick in the head, like FIRST THING, like this is the absolute first thing Bruce has to deal with when coming back, and this is just like....NONEXISTENT in most fics about that era. Because lolol how can we blame Dick for everything that went wrong and make Bruce be mad at him for how Dick wronged Tim and Jason and all of Gotham probably, if we’re going by actual canon and thus dealing with the fact that Bruce is preoccupied with hovering over his just-shot-in-the-head-specifically-to-fuck-with-Bruce son’s bedside and WORRYING about him. LOLOL hashtag Fandom Willfully Erases The Majority of Dick’s Canon Traumas Not Because They Want To Set Canon On Fire - they’re usually fine with sticking to every instance of canon in which Dick does something even in the ZIP CODE of wrong - but rather because if we acknowledge Dick’s traumas then eww, he might come across as....sympathetic? No, we can’t have that. ERGO HE WAS NEVER SHOT IN THE HEAD HAHAHAH WE FIXED IT, WE FIXED CANON).

But I digress.

Battle for the Cowl (another reluctant rec because like, its dumb and its bad, but its one of those things that I’d still rather more people read than didn’t, because like it is pivotal and relevant, and it contains key plot points like oh Idk, Arkham literally blowing up as all the currently locked up inmates escape, which led to Dick having Wayne Enterprises rebuild it himself, and like, the only villains present in it when he was Batman being the villains he and Damian CAUGHT while he was Batman, which did NOT include the Joker, and thus all the hot takes about how Dick locked up Jason two doors down from his murderer like the uncaring bastard that he is, like.....instead of the reality that Dick pulled strings to have Jason put in Arkham instead of Blackgate when the POLICE ARRIVED ON SCENE AND LOCKED UP THE ANONYMOUS RED HOOD BECAUSE HE WAS CLEARLY DEFEATED AND CLEARLY A WANTED CRIMINAL AND THUS LIKE, HIS IMPRISONMENT LITERALLY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH DICK OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT DICK DEFEATED JASON RATHER THAN LETTING HIM KILL HIM AND DAMIAN.....

like, its literal canon that Dick explains himself for having Jason put in Arkham instead of Blackgate because it allowed him to keep Jason OUT of gen pop where he had literal dozens of enemies that he, Jason, WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR PUTTING THEM IN THERE HIMSELF, and it was to keep Jason SAFE, and it WORKED as Jason’s only actual canon complaint at that time was that he was BORED. So in conclusion, AS ALWAYS, you can do what you want, but when you literally manufacture the fake fanon - and completely fail to make any effort to establish that this is NOT actual canon and that you’re not actually riffing off of an actual canon moment - that Dick callously locked his brother up a few doors down from his own murderer (the dude that Dick himself literally once beat to death because he killed Jason).....like, inquiring minds would like to know, why are you trying so hard to make Dick look like THIS MUCH of an asshole, hmm?)

Batman: The Gates of Gotham (a weird, but fun little read IMO, that delves deep into the backstory of Gotham, the Waynes, and also Dick’s ancestors the Crownes, and establishes a lot of the history revolving around all of the above, and like, it actually has Dick as Batman and being competent and respected by the rest of the family in that role, and its also one of the only times Cass and Damian interacted one on one, stuff like that)

Batman and Robin Eternal (eww no, kill it also with the fire, burn it, I hate it, uggggggh why is this series so praised, its so baaaaaaaaaaaad, its like what if literally every character involved in it is an asshole to Dick for no valid reason whatsoever.....huh, weird thought, wonder if the fact that its so praised as being so good and Dick’s so hated for weird reasons by a lot of fandom are connected....almost like.....the fiction influenced how people viewed his character....and thus....critical commentary of how the fiction was bad is....relevant....HMM I MUST PONDER THIS STRANGE AND NOVEL THOUGHT).

[supercasey]

What your RvB OTP says about you

((I saw a similar list, but it didn't include a lot of my favorite ships and also I thought this would be fun. Sorry if any of this offends anyone: it’s all in good fun and just some observations I’ve noticed over the years about certain shippers. Let me know if I missed any other big ones!))

FUCK I FORGOT SISTER AND DR GREY

Tuckington: Chorus crew is best crew. Wash and Tucker are your all-time favorites and you're so proud of how far Tucker has come. You probably hate/love Felix, there is no in-between.

Mainewash: You like to suffer; you have an addiction to fics that involve one of these two dying. You live for the Meta and Antagonist!Wash team-up. You probably ship Doc with them if you’re into polyam. Cat person.

Yorkalina: You adore York to the moon and back, and are honestly a sucker for “goofy person meets strict person and teaches them to have fun” pairings. You have a replica of York’s lighter that you’ve never used.

Grimmons: You deserve a Fandom Grandma/Grandpa mug, buddy. You’re so tired, and you’ve probably been here since at least season 6. One day it’ll be canon, you just know it. In the meantime, you’re suffering.

Churboose: My mom ships this so here we are. Caboose is the most perfect of good bois and you’re only watching rvb for him at this point. You’ve cried over Church every day of your life. You named a pet Freckles, probably.

Washlina: You are the most chill/sweet person in the entire goddamn fandom. Seriously, you’re so nice. You don’t care either way if it ends up canon, but the latest content is still very satisfying. You’re so kind, I love you.

Sargington: You’re having the time of your life and I’m so happy for you. Sarge is probably your favorite character, but Wash is a close second. You’re chill about other ships but this is the guilty fav; don’t feel guilty, you’re amazing.

Docnut: Precious cinnamon roll who is too good for this world, too pure. Doc when he’s doing the O’Malley voice is way too hot for you. You probably have written/daydreamed about these two having a farm together.

Pastrytrain: Congratulations for being a good person. The pinnacle of “I’m staying in my fucking lane” when it comes to fandom drama. I know you downloaded the Pastrytrain dating sim, don’t try to deny it.

Kimbalina: Never mind, you guys are the actual diehards for the Chorus trilogy. Carolina is your queen and she deserves the love that Kimball can bring into her life. That hand-holding scene is now your desktop background. Probably wlw.

Tucknut: Trans with an amazing sense of humor. You swear a lot and make more dirty jokes than you should, but people love that about you. Donut is your favorite but Tucker is funnier.

Churnut: Donut is your favorite. You hate that Church is dead and pray every single day that he’ll come back somehow. The Donut arc this season had you fucking THRIVING and I’m so happy for you.

Norkington: You’re either gay or trans or both, and that’s the tea. You’re still obsessed with the PFL seasons, despite how long it’s been. Your favorite version of Wash is the PFL rookie version.

Nork: Yeah, you’re gay, sis.

Flowarge: Where are y’all??? I know I’m not the only one. You want a sitcom of rvb that’s just Parks and Recreation but with power armor. Sarge is best dad and Flowers is your other, more dead dad.

Flyoming: You literally don’t need any canon evidence to ship something; if they breathe they’re in love. Florida is your fav, and tbh Wyoming isn’t even in the top ten, but you’re too into older men to care. Daddy issues.

WashCT: People claim you’re boring but tbh you have really good taste, everyone else just isn’t interested. Knives are one of your favorite things but odds are you don’t know how to throw them. You really miss CT.

SouthCT: The wlw energy is literally so powerful in your bones, congratulations. Team #SouthDidNothingWrong, as well as Team #CTDeservedBetter; you are correct on both accounts. South is best girl.

Southlina: Not sure where y’all are at, but you’re all about that powerful lesbian energy. You probably hate York; if not I’m sorry for saying that. On that note you probably hate the PFL seasons but you’re too desperate for content to complain.

Fucker: You little shit. You are 100% involved in fandom drama but you’re thriving regardless; it’s impossible for you to be affected by everyone telling you that you’re problematic. Tucker is your favorite, but Felix is hot af.

Locington: You say “Unfortunate” way too often but I love you nonetheless. You spent the entire hiatus between seasons 11 and 12 writing porn, and you damn well know. Hell, you’re probably proud of it. Locus is your fav.

Murdersandwich: Are you still here??? If you are, you’re braver than any us marine. Modern AUs where these three get together are your bread and butter. Tuckington is your second favorite ship.

Murdersandwich+Sharkface: You unapologetic, horny motherfucker. You’re living your best life while simultaneously sobbing into your pillow every night over Felix and Sharkface. Locington is your default fav, but this ship still rocks.

Lolix: Fandom veterans from the “Felix is problematic” wars and I salute you for your service. Here to have a good time, and ain’t nobody gonna stop you. You’ve probably written/thought about a “Felix lives” AU at extreme length.

Sharklina: Season 13 was so good in your opinion and you refuse to ever shut up about it. #SharkfaceDeservedBetter. You’re probably into punk aesthetics and you’ve made at least one playlist for these two.

Chex: #ChurchGetsPegged. Tex is your diehard fav and you will never in your life let RT forget that she exists. You’ll drag her out of her grave yourself if you fucking have to. You memorized Church’s speech from the end of rvb5.

Chucker: You cry each and every day about Church being dead. You’ve rewatched the BGC no less than twelve times, and that’s just this year. Everytime you see That Post, you reblog it. You know the one.

Sheipez: If Sheila were real you’d ask her to adopt you. Lopez is your current fav by default and you live for every moment he’s on screen. Caboose is your precious son and you’re willing to die for him.

Sex: You ship this purely because of the ship name. STFU, yes you fucking do. Tex is hot af and you love that one fancomic of sister without a bra on flirting with Tex.

Sucker: Despite popular opinion, you're not as horny as everyone thinks you are. Sister is your favorite and Tucker isn't even close but you love him regardless and think he fits well with Sister.

Suckington: I know you bastards are still here. Wash is your favorite but you love him being surrounded by these energetic shitheads who fill his life with energy and fun. Sister is best girl.

Greyington: I know for a fucking fact that this was a thing. Fucking sadist when it comes to your brand of porn, and Dr. Grey is your favorite character to ever exist.

Kimbones: You knew fuck all about Ladybones but you shipped her with Kimball anyways because you're a thirsty wlw. You've probably moved onto Kimbalina by now, but we will not forget the season 11-12 horniness you unleashed on this fandom.

[forestwater87]

Ok this is super embarrassing but you’re one of my favorite writers in this uh.. whatever this blogosphere is so!! I wanna try and take a crack at writing my own fanfic but.. I got no idea where to even start. Any advice?

Oh man, I feel awful about this! I didn’t know my inbox had any new messages, so some of these asks have been sitting here for . . . some time. 

Anyway, first off thank you very much! Secondly, the most obvious advice is just, you know, “do it.” But that’s infinitely easier said than done. I started writing fanfic when I was around 10 years old, so overthinking it wasn’t an issue, since I thought I was the world’s greatest writer. Assuming you’re not 10 years old and as blind to the concept of literary criticism as I was . . . well, the first step is obviously getting an idea. EDIT: Holy shit, this is long. I’m gonna have to break this bad boy up with headers, like it’s a real blog post or something.

Getting Ideas/Inspiration

I don’t know if you already have something you’d like to write about or if you’re still at the “gee that looks like fun” level of fanfic ruminating, but if you’re having trouble coming up with ideas, turning to the existing fandom is a great place to start! 

1: Filling in fandom gaps: I’ve found a lot of my best fic ideas by looking through what already existed and seeing where there was something missing; when I first started writing for Camp Camp, literally only @raenbowsofficial created anything for Gwenvid -- it didn’t even have a ship name yet, and I’m pretty sure the 3 people into it were still throwing “daven” and “gavid” around as well -- so there being zero other fics for it meant that if I wanted it to exist, I’d have to be the one to write it. (That’s also nice if you’re kind of insecure, because when no one else has tried the idea you’re interested in, you have no pressure to compare it to anything else.) 

Also, you could take a popular/already existing concept and write it the way you’d like to see it, if the existing fanfics do something with the story or characters that you’re not thrilled with. That’s handy because it gives you a general blueprint to work off of in terms of tropes and broad story beats, while letting you explore something new. Obviously, don’t rip off someone else’s fic note-for-note, but being inspired by someone else is a great way to kickstart your creativity! If you do have a specific author or story that you’re using as a jumping-off point for your own writing, I would strongly recommend linking them in your author’s notes at the beginning or end of the fic, and maybe gifting the story to them! You don’t have to, since the creation is entirely your own, but it’s still always nice to acknowledge the people who inspire you the most.

2: Fandom inception. If you want to be a little more direct and literal, there’s always the option of writing fanfic of a fanfic or fanart that you really love, if there’s a universe or story idea that you like, and you want more of it. As long as you give credit and notify the original creator, I think you’d have no issues in terms of fanfic etiquette, and I imagine they’d be honored to have inspired your own writing. Fandom is a very collaborative experience, after all, and we’re all in this together! :)

3. For more general “I have a vague idea of what I want to do (the ship, or maybe a tiny plot bunny) but I’m not sure where to go with it,” my biggest recommendation is music. Especially folk indie-rock music, which is 90% angst and 100% haunting. And again, looking at fanfic/art is a great way to get inspired -- I have a tendency to put up a particularly good or emblematic piece of fanart/fic in another window when I’m working on something tricky to write, just for something to stare at when my ideas start running dry (shoutout to @doritofalls, @ellohcee, and the aforementioned RA for being my go-tos when I need to stare at something pretty to feel inspired; there are absolutely others, because this fandom is filled with absurdly talented people, but those 3 are my heroes of inspiration and if you SOMEHOW don’t already know them, fix that immediately). 

Wow, that’s a lot and it’s literally just all about getting an idea . . . which you might already have. Yikes. For the sake of people who have to scroll past this, let’s put the rest under a cut:

Fleshing Out the Idea: An Ode to Outlines

Some people are able to just sit down and write something incredible from a vague idea, and the story just builds on itself without any sort of planning or organization to guide them along the way. These people are named Cipher/Campernetics, and we hate her for being unfairly talented.

For the rest of us, outlines are essential.

My outlines tend to be insanely specific, because I’m very afraid of letting a single idea slip through the cracks, and I build on them over time as I get increasingly sure of where the story’s going. The early outlines tend to be extremely vague, with lots of “and then something happens” connecting major plot points. An example for a current WIP I’m doing right now:

(Seriously, “Julia and everything”? Future Forest is going to be so pissed at current Forest when she reaches that point and realizes she has no idea what she’s doing)

And as the story starts to take shape and a plot eventually forms -- they tend to take at least 10 chapters to materialize, but they do generally show up! One of the great things about fanfiction is that plot is largely optional, though, so no worries if you’re starting without a full story idea -- I find myself writing more and more details down, if for no other reason than that I want to make sure I remember what I was thinking when I finally get to that scene (because I have absolutely gotten to a point in a story and forgotten what I’d had planned. It sucks). Here’s an example from another fic with pretty significant spoilers if you can figure out which one it is oops:

I’d recommend keeping your outlines pretty simple, at least to start with: words and phrases, rather than whole-ass sentences like the above. The complexity will develop as your ideas do, so no need to wrack your brain trying to write out the entire story in bullet form.

I use the bolded ideas as stepping stones, more or less; I’ll write out the piece of the story that each line represents, which can be as little as a sentence or as much as 4 or more chapters (RIP my most recent long-running fic), then delete that line and move on to the next. 

Bolding them isn’t necessary, but it does make it easier to differentiate at a glance what needs to be written. If you keep everything in the same hundred-page Google Doc like I do, this is very important.

Your outline doesn’t have to be well-written, and you can 100% use fillers like “and then something happens here.” I do that all the time -- again, another completely different story:

Now, the vaguer things are, the more annoyed Future You will be when it comes time to write whatever it’s bulleting -- there’s a reason I haven’t updated this fic, and it’s because I have zero idea what the everliving fuck “Pinky-and-the-Brain-ing all over the place” means -- but it’s really good for when you’re first getting started sketching out the vague outline of your fic. The more you panic trying to figure out all the twists and details at the very start, the less likely you’re ever just going to sit down and write the damn thing.

(This might be why I don’t write plot-heavy stories, to be fair. Mystery writers very well might have to have it all planned out from the get-go, and I’d recommend chatting with someone who’s a bit less “coffeeshop AU” and a bit more Agatha Christie for that kind of advice.)

Knowing When to Post

There are people that exist, who have amazing self-control, who can wait until their entire story is written and then release it in sections, at regular intervals, until the story is completed.

I am not one of these people, though I try to be with literally every single fic I’ve ever written.

Personally, I do this until I reach a point where I get stuck and need validation, and then post what I have in a giant chunk and then don’t update it for several months. This is almost universally known as the worst way to write fanfics, both in terms of getting interaction from fans and keeping readers from wanting to kill you, and if you have the ability to write the entire thing and sit on it until it’s ready to be shared, you are a hero.

Alternatively, if you can actually stick to a set schedule of writing it as you go and still update with a new chapter every X days, you are not human and I’m terrified of you, because if you find a way to weaponize this power you will rule the world.

Honestly, a good rule of thumb? Post it when you’re ready for people to read it, whether it’s done or not. Not all works will get done, and it seems mean to deny people the delicious little stub you’ve written even if you’re not going to finish it. When you’re happy with what you have -- or are so tired of looking at it that you need to post it or you’ll throw your computer out the window -- just do it and let out a sigh of relief, then either take a few days before going back to writing or just jump in immediately like a goddamn masochist.

(I have tried to get far enough ahead that I can start posting the already-written stuff on a schedule, figuring by the time I’m caught up I’ll have completed the entire story and won’t have any awkward gaps. Ahahahahahahahahaha that has never once worked.)

If you’re not certain about your writing, get a beta! The fandom is full of talented people who’d be happy to read over your work, and if the person you ask doesn’t have the time or spoons, they probably have a few ideas of other people you could reach out to. You don’t need a beta, but it always makes me feel better to have another set of eyes look over my writing before posting, and my beta always catches things I completely missed. Plus, you get a nice taste of that sweet, sweet validation we all crave.

This . . . is a bad guide. Just in general. The advice is . . . not good, and I think it’s largely useless. But I keep trying to think of useful things to add to it and coming up empty, so I hope something in here helped, and if you’d like to bounce your ideas off of someone, feel free to shoot me a message! Talking ideas over with friends is a great way to flesh them out as well, and I am happy to be anyone’s fandom friend.

[heechulhamster]

Stubborn and Stupid - Chanyeol

PARK CHANYEOL x Reader

College AU!, Angst, Fluff (Yes, here I am again with my Angst fics)

Somehow, loving him was all you knew. Your love for him was already innate to your being, a part of your identity, the only thing you know is right. And you are willing to wait for him. But does he want you to wait for him?

I listened to Bestfriend by Rex Orange County while writing this! I realized that it’s kinda similar.

4554 words

____

It wasn’t a good day for a fight. I mean, technically in your moral code no day was ever good nor bad enough to cause a messy confrontation. Yet here you are, in a locker room confined enough to cause cause claustrophobia in front of one of the feistiest people in campus. Well, the adjective was subjective as she usually seems friendly to the people she wants to be seen with. But obviously, you’re not among those people.

It was already unoften for you to be in a fight, moreover to actually cause the fight. Yet that was exactly what happened here.

“What are you standing there for? I thought you were brave enough to start a fight? Cat got your tongue?” Yeseul mocked you.

Yeseul is the girl he likes, or currently pursued considering the kind of guy Chanyeol is. And Chanyeol is, well, the man you loved to say the least. He’s always been the man you loved and you’ll continue loving.

Chanyeol is your childhood friend, you lived next door to each other. Your parents were close knit friends and you were bound to be one too. Except for the fact that as early as when you were 9, the friendly touches and hugs you and him shared weren’t too friendly in your perception anymore. Each connection lingered, the feeling of his skin on yours sent shivers to the farthest reaches of your veins. It was with him where you experienced the wonderful blossoming of a young heart’s first love. And he was your first heartbreak too.

You were too obvious, the red tint that painted your face when you hung out. The sudden awkward air that envelops the two of you whenever he’s around. It was like red paint on your forehead, ready for him to read, “IM MADLY INLOVE WITH YOU PARK CHANYEOL!” Not a lot changed since then, and you don’t know if it’s for the best or for the worst. You still were extremely close friends, despite your openness on your admiration for him. It was good that he didn’t see the need to avoid nor drop you, but it’s also sad that he always seen you as a friend, and only that.

The actual change of dynamics between you came during the latter part of high school. When the Gods of puberty hit Chanyeol pretty damn good. His lanky physique turned into that of a Greek deity. Every head turned to Chanyeol’s way whenever he walked down streets, hallways, or corridors. And eventually, you two just fell apart as friends. It was all too common of a teenage story, two best friends falling apart due to the imbalance of popularity and diverging interests.

But you stayed madly in love with him. Which got you in this situation.

“Try and cross me again…” Yeseul started and tugged your hair that was tied on the back of your head. You quickly retaliated and pushed her to the locker behind her, an action that caused a large thud.

A large figure suddenly casted a shadow towards the both of you. You quickly glanced at the locker room door and there he was, the root and main cause of all of this, Park Chanyeol.

“What the fuck?” As expected of him, he quickly rushed to her side and his hands reached out her back that collided with the lockers.

Yeseul, like an Oscar award winning actress, almost instantly cried and pushed her face onto the nook of Chanyeol’s neck as he consoled her. And with the glare he was giving you, you knew what his perception of the situation was - that you’re the evil one in this scenario. So you didn’t even bother to speak up, hurriedly grabbing your bag from behind and walking away from the ill fated room.

Since the last years of High school, you and Chanyeol haven’t been in the best of terms. Enter college and you were nothing more than one of his admirers, one with deeper feelings and more vibrant past with him. You��re still there for him, occasionally giving him gifts just because you wanted to and it felt right. You still supported him in his basketball games, still attended the dinners and parties his parents invited your family over. There were times that you’d catch up, usually during the few periods of his life that he didn’t have a girlfriend nor he was pursuing someone. But as soon as the missing slot in his life becomes filled up again, you quickly fade from his radar. Yet you’re still here, supporting and caring and loving him. Because loving him was always a feeling you didn’t hold back. To you, despite everything that happened - or the lack of any happening between you and Chanyeol, he still deserved all the love you could ever give, and more.

You had no other classes for the day, so you’ve decided to just go home and chill away all the negativities that filled your mind. You didn’t even think about Chanyeol would make out of the situation, your image to him had long been a done deal. He probably thinks that you attacked Yeseul in jealousy - which isn’t the case.

The contestants on the current season of Masterchef and their mouthwatering dishes was all in your mind as you lounged in your living room. But that peace was abruptly cut off by three knocks on your door.

“Care to explain to me what was that scene earlier?” Chanyeol blurted out as soon as you opened the door. To which you just let out a sigh.

“Do I really need to explain? I bet she told you all the right things already.” You answered in sarcasm.

“Yeah, apparently you heard her talking about me in the cafeteria and just threw a jealous fit on her.” He just towered over you as his hands rested over the door frame.

“Of course she told you that.” An unimpressed laugh came out of your mouth. “And you believed her.” -a declaration rather than that of a question. “You really believed I’d do something like that, didn’t you?”

“That’s why I’m asking you to explain!” Chanyeol lifted his hand and slammed it back on the frame in frustration. “You can’t just go and claim me as yours just because you’ve been crazy about me for the longest time. That’s just so fucking stupid of you, (Y/N.) Can you please stop annoying the hell out of me everytime?”

And that just took out the last straw of your patience and understanding.

“You know what, Chanyeol? Yes I’m so fucking stupid, man maybe I’ve got no wits at all for staying and loving you despite all the shit you’ve put me through all these years! Maybe I’m the one who’s stupid because I’m the only one who stayed for you, right? If I was smarter, I would’ve moved on a long time ago and went for someone better, not someone who treats me as shit as you do.” You snapped at him, which you almost quickly regretted as you saw the wide gape his mouth formed into. You’ve hurt his ego, for sure. But it’s a fair game as he hurt your feelings, one that he’s been doing for a good amount of time now.

Silence enveloped the two of you. You’re already thinking of apologizing, saying you didn’t mean anything in what you’ve said. But what’s done is done, words have been spoken and emotions have already formed.

“If it helps you to understand, yes I’ve heard her talking about you. But it wasn’t simply just a jealous fit. She talked about how she’ll only entertain you to get close to Seokjin in the basketball team. So being the stupid ass that I am that’s been crazy for you in the longest time, I fucking defended you for an awaiting heartbreak.”

You were protecting him from something he kept on doing to you for years. So much for being stupid.

“I’m…” That’s what’s all that escaped his mouth.

“Get off the porch, Chanyeol. Go take some rest. Don’t worry this will be the last time I’ll be annoying the hell out of you. Good night.” You wanted to say the common ending to your talks, you wanted to tell him that you love him despite knowing that you won’t get anything in return. But you just kept your lips closed and shut the door.

You remembered all the time you told him how much you love him. How you opened the deepest realms of your heart, letting him see how much you felt. How you’d look in his eyes as if it was the very vestibule of all the wonders of life, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. You knew he didn’t see the same, that your eyes were just two of the hundreds that gaze at him at the same way.

You didn’t expect anything, in contrary to the popular belief in your college that you’d kill in cold blood to get Chanyeol to woo you back. You just loved him because that’s what you feel. You didn’t bother to restrain yourself on the wonderful feeling of adoring someone. Loving him felt right, as if it was something you were fated to do all your life. You just wanted Chanyeol to be happy and supported him in every step and action that was needed for him to achieve that - even in the cost of your own.

It was in the senior year of high school when he cried on your shoulder the whole night over the cheerleader who dumped her just because he didn’t have a nice car. How you caressed his back infinite times before the wells in his eyes finally stopped and just surprisingly leaned in and kiss you. You didn’t talk about it afterwards as it seemed that he didn’t even planned on remembering how he left you breathless and blushing after your first kiss.

Freshman year of college saw the night where you were both drunk, not enough to pass out but intoxicated enough to not decide properly. He brought you as a date to Jongdae’s party, one of his new friends with the same major. One drunk decision led to another and you just woke up holding each other close, both as naked as the day you were born and only clad in the thin blanket he had in his room. But then again, nothing changed between the two of you. You’re still madly in love with him, with only more reasons to hold on. And you were still his friend when it’s convenient, and a little bit something more when he needs to - but you were never his lover. Never the only thing you ever wished to be.

“Do you still love me?” He asked while you were both in the dusky path of a dream as you both lay on his bed. Another night where Chanyeol needed someone for assurance, he needed someone to be there, someone to fill his needs, and you were always the willing participant in his games. The willing recipient of his touch that failed to find a home, because it never wanted to go home to you.

“Of course I do.” You answered nonchalantly.

“How come?” His grip around your waist tightened as your back leaned on his chest while you laid on your side. Chanyeol’s breaths lightly fanning your hair due to the proximity of the both of you.

“I told you I’d love you until I can. I’d love you as long as I can feel. I’ll love you until you tell me you don’t want my love anymore.”

He never told you that he didn’t want you. Not unlike the others who he was quick to decline, the hearts that he didn’t even think twice to break. With you, it was like he was more careful. Maybe due to the reason of your long history, the friendship that you’ve built that has been slightly tarnished by immature teenage priorities. Or maybe there was something more, the one you silently hoped for.

You’ve told him before that he could reject you when he feels it right to do so. That you’d stop and drop every hope you have in your heart the moment he asks you to. But he never did, not once did he ask you to stop loving him. And nights like those where he held you close and kissed you as if he loved you back made you think that maybe he actually did. The nights where it felt as if he actually made love to you. Maybe he just couldn’t admit it to you, but maybe there’s a bit of love in his heart that sang to you. Because he never showed otherwise.

Yes there were times where he didn’t reach out because he had an ongoing thing with other girls. One of the endless sparks he experienced that were quick to die down. But even so, after those adventures, he’d always come back to you. You’re always the one he whispered sweet nothings to when he was broken. You are his constant light that never gave up on him even if he kept being blinded by sparks.

Chanyeol was all gentle and good with you, until today.

“Can you please stop annoying the hell of me everytime?” Pierced your heart like a pigeon shot in its flight.

Because you annoyed Chanyeol. Everytime. It came from his very mouth.

Was this the sign for you to stop?

A month elapsed since Yeseul grabbed your hair and you glasly pushed her hardly towards a cold locker. A month since you last talked to Chanyeol. Since that night, you’ve decided to stay away. To let him keep his silence and sanity, void of your incessant chatter, void of your love that he said he found annoying. You wanted him happy, and if that happiness means you steering clear of him - then so be it.

It was a good month for you, honestly. With checking up on Chanyeol’s happiness out of your daily agenda, you focused on yours. It was in that timespan where you realized that you relied a lot of your plans in accordance to Chanyeol’s path. You had an opportunity to go to a University in the city but declined when he told you that he wanted to spend college with you. That you’ll be a piece of home in the new waters you two will tread. An offer that you all too willingly obliged to.

A month was something wonderful for you to work on, for you to find out what you really wanted. Things that weren’t involving Chanyeol.

Over the span of your short life, you also tried and date others. You attempted to feel the same way you feel with Chanyeol. Maybe another hand can fill the gaps of yours and you’ll feel as whole as you did with him.  Perhaps you’ll see the same sparks in others’ the way Chanyeol’s make you feel. His large, dark, luminous eyes that never fail to behold everything about them. But nothing was ever the same. Nothing surpassed the way he could make you feel, despite the fact that he took the least effort in making you feel loved.

Today, it felt as if all the powers of universe and fate conspired to get you to talk to him again. You’ve already thought of watching his game tomorrow, a feat that you’ve never failed. But now, your parents asked you to give a shirt of his that got caught up in the laundry, for a reason you fail to decode. But nevertheless, you couldn’t reason out of it. And you knew that there would still be eventually a point where you need to talk to him.

If there was a competition or a national recognition for the dumbest people of all time, you could be one of the hall of famers. You just couldn’t stop yourself taking an extra step and baking a batch of his favorite cookies. You thought of it as a peace offering, despite the fact that the last meltdown between the two of you wasn’t your fault. It was his favorite, the boy needs a power up snack for the nearing basketball tournament.

Even you found yourself annoying.

With the box of cookies in your bag and his shirt too, you walked towards the campus basketball court after classes. You used to go here often, watching him train and even bringing food for Chanyeol as you knew training can be gruelling. Some of his team members even dubbed you as his “pseudo girlfriend.”

You’re stopped on your tracks when someone called your name on the lockers just behind the court. You looked at the source and saw a familiar face, he’s part of the team, you think.

“Hey, coming for Park again?” To which you just answered an ample smile.

“When will you ever learn that you’re not his type? Maybe you should go out on a date with me instead. How about that?” The way he wiggled his eyebrows tormented your eyes and caused disgust to form in the pits of your stomach.

“Sorry, not interested.” You tried to smile sweetly and attempted to walk away and towards the court where you hope to find Chanyeol.

“Stop being so dense, will you? I’m doing you a favor. Chanyeol will never love you. You’re not even half as pretty as Yeseul nor any of his exes. You have no right to be picky.” You didn’t even bother to look back, you just close your eyes on the harsh truth that he spoke.

You thought about just walking away and back home when you heard a sudden rambling on his direction before you could even walk. It’s Chanyeol, who just seemingly went out of the shower with his hair wet and towel draped over his shoulder, and the distasteful man now leaning on the wall with his hand over his nose.

“Learn to mind your own damn business the next time, fucker.”

The next minutes are a vague whirlwind of spontaneous happenings. You remembered Chanyeol grabbing his bag and basically dragging you out of the court, then out of the campus. Eventually bringing you to his car and eventually driving the both of you home. Now you’re in your kitchen, nursing the red bruises on his right wrist with an ice pack.

“I thought he just look like a rock, never thought his face would be hard as one too.” He said when he hissed as you damped the ice over his hands. “Why were you even there earlier, you done being mad at me?”

You laughed at his choice of words and his tone.

“Mom just asked me to give this shirt of yours, got mixed up in the laundry yesterday.” You put down the icepack to grab the shirt from your bag.

“Hey are those cookies for me?” Chanyeol almost instantly noticed the familiar box that you laid on the table in search for his shirt. Like a child that’s excited for a new toy.

“Yeah, I should’ve given it earlier. It’s not warm now, you still up for it?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely. Your cookies never gets old for me.” He opened the box and took one in a bite. “This would heal me better than ice ever will.”

You just watched him in wonder, how childlike he is. Maybe it’s that period again, where you’ll act close and cherish each other. The times where he suddenly remembers that he has you.

“And for the record, I was never mad at you.” You suddenly spoke out.

“Hmm? Really? I thought you were mad at me for what I said that night. Which makes sense because I was a flat out asshole. I’m sorry.” He held your hand with his bruised one. A gesture that suddenly made you feel warm.

“No, it’s more of…” You struggled to compose your sentence with his hands on yours. “I just didn’t want to annoy you anymore.”

“Aish, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything on what I said that night. Can we forget about it?” His grip on your hand went tighter. And all you could answer was a nod.

“You didn’t have to punch him.” You said as you put back the ice pack on his fist.

“That asshole deserved it.”

��I mean, he’s not all wrong.” You whispered, wishing that he did not hear your surrender.

“What do you mean he’s not wrong? I swear to God you’re so much better than all of my exes. Sometimes I think they’re all just passing fancy to me. But look, whose hands am I holding now?” Chanyeol’s grasp tightened again. Your mind was entangled in a haze of surprise, shock, and failure to process his words. You tried your best to shake it off, remind yourself that it was all part of the vicious cycle of the game you all too willingly agreed to play with him. The cycle of you loving him and him consuming that love and needing you, a simple concept of supply and demand.

“I wasn’t talking about that.” You put your gaze away from him, afraid of the truth his eyes will speak as you know it would be multitudes louder than his words.

“What?” He asked, and you put your head down. “No, tell me. What?”

“He wasn’t wrong…” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Chanyeol. “That you won’t love me… that I have no right to be picky.. And that I should stop.”

You felt his hand detach from you, and your heart sank. Was this the answer that you’ve been waiting for? The rejection you’ve been anticipating? The only knife that will cut the thread that’s what’s left of you holding on to him?

“I swear I’m going to punch that motherfucker another time the next time I see him.” You’re shocked at his sudden display of anger as he loudly dropped his swollen fist on the table. You reacted in a haste as you grabbed it and put over the ice again.

“You’re going to hurt yourself-” He didn’t even let you finish when he spoke again.

“What if I could?” You slowly lifted your face to meet his eyes. Hoping to see insincerity, that he was joking, but he was painted of perseverance and eagerness. “What if I could love you?”

“You could do a lot of things, Chanyeol. But not all the things you could do are the things you want to do.” You mumbled without removing your eyes on his.

“What if I want to?”

“Do you?” A newfound courage pushed you to asked the question you’ve been too scared to ask. Does Chanyeol want to love you? Does he have any desire to reciprocate your feelings in any part of his heart? But it was time for him to answer, and it was time for you to know. You couldn’t just keep on holding a torch for him all these years, you couldn’t keep on waiting without knowing if you were even actually waiting for something.

“I’m gonna need time to answer that.”

“No, I’m going to need your answer now. I’ve loved you since we were 9, Yeol. I think thirteen years is already an enough amount of time to think if you want someone or not.” You pulled your hand away from his grasp. “Now, have me or lose me, Chanyeol.”

He just stared at you, his youthful eyes spoke of confusion. His lips agape, deprived of the answer you’ve been waiting for.

“I’m going to need an answer before I leave, Yeol.” You declared you stood up and walked towards the sink.

“Leave to where?” He just trailed you with his head, not moving from his seat.

“I’ve been offered an internship. It will be good for my growth. It’s only two months but I’m already so excited for it, Yeol. I’ll get to widen my horizons, my world, maybe even move on.” You looked back at him and smiled a modest one.

“From me?” He just stared at you as you filled the now emptied ice bag with more ice again.

“Probably. That’s why I need your answer now.” You walked back and sat on the chair once more. “Yeol, I’ve loved you for as long as I could remember. I’ve let you define me for so long. Remember when we we’re 7? I was known as Chanyeol’s bestfriend. In high school I was known as the girl who had a crush on you. Even I don’t know myself anymore, I only know you. Loving you has been my identity now, maybe I need to know who I am without you.”

“I remember when Sooyoung told me that maybe why you can’t fall inlove with me was because there was no one to fall in love with. That I don’t even know who I am. And it’s true. Somehow it feels like all these years all I am was a vessel of love for you, and it’s not healthy. For both you and me.” You continued.

“This is a great opportunity for me, Yeol. For me to know myself, my real dreams, what I want.” You explained.

“What you want…. Would that still include me?” Chanyeol suddenly asked.

“Do you want to be?” You asked back to him.

“Yes. I don’t know what I’d do without your love. It’s been part of me, it’s something I’m used to.”

“You’re used to it, but do you want me to love you?”

“I want you, your love, and I want to return it too. I just don’t know how to show it. Maybe I’ve been in love with you too but I’m too dumb to recognize it. I don’t know.” Chanyeol scooted closer to you and held both of your hands in his. “It would be selfish for me to ask this, but please don’t stop loving me. Trust me, I love you too. But I just suck in showing it, or recognizing it. Maybe I have too much pride to admit that to myself, to everyone, to you, that the one I’ve been looking for is all you. Please, don’t move on from me. I just… I just need time to be better at this.”

“We have plenty of time to figure things out, Yeol. Maybe when I come back, we’re both in a better place and better state of mind, right?”

“I love-” Chanyeol started but you were quick to hush him with your fingers.

“Not just yet, Yeol. Take your time. I want to hear it from you when you’re sure, okay?” He nodded.

“But I need you to hear that I promise to be better when you come back. To give you everything you deserve that I failed to do before. Because I need you, and I want you to stay loving me. I don’t know anything else. And it would be my biggest mistake if I let you go.”

“I told you, Chanyeol. I’m not going to stop loving you unless you ask me to.” You pulled one of your hands from his hold and caressed his cheek.

“Then please, (Y/N). Continue on loving me, and don’t you ever stop.”

[marypsue]

Tagged by: @mira-eyeteeth

Author Name: MaryPSue

Fandoms You Write For: Too many to list! Anything that I either love and want to learn to imitate, or want to rescue at least one character from. I’ve been most prolific for Gravity Falls and Rise of the Guardians/Guardians of Childhood, with honourable mention to Rick and Morty. (Seriously? That’s my third-most prolific fandom? Well, I guess I have no one to blame for this but myself.)

Where You Post: Here, and AO3. 

Most Popular One-Shot: Based on hits alone, it would appear to be The Incident with Mrs Peterson (Gravity Falls Transcendence AU, a sequel to Return, Rewind, Rewrite). 

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Again, by hits, Reincarnation Blues (Gravity Falls Transcendence AU). 

Favorite Story You Wrote: I’m gonna do one from each of those three most prolific fandoms up there, because I’ve been posting this shit for longer than I really want to think about and picking one ‘favourite’ from one hundred and eighteen posted works (not counting all the individual oneshots in each oneshot collection) is just not an undertaking I’m going to get into tonight.

Gravity Falls: Hive! I fear I will never write anything that so completely, absolutely captures exactly what I set out to write ever again in my life. As far as I can tell, the mood is there, the Ian Worrel visuals are there, the pacing is there, the slow, creeping horror is there, the mix of horror and humour is there, the weird identity bullshit is there, the characterisation is there, the canon tone and voices are there... 

ROTG/GOC: Dreamland. This was the fic that introduced me to my girlfriend and vice versa, and also the fic that introduced me to the X-Files. Both extremely momentous accomplishments. It also was an exercise in lyrical writing that I haven’t quite captured since.

RAM: Boiling a Frog. I set out to spread around as much pain as possible while doing my best to keep it all implied. It’s my favourite thing about the source canon and, imo, the trickiest (but most rewarding) part of it to try to imitate. 

Honourable mention to What Happens in Space Vegas because I giggled the whole time I was writing it.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Like, all of them? Writing is the mortifying ordeal of being known, even when you’re using other people’s characters.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Half of them are stolen song lyrics slash lines from poetry in pretentious lowercase, half of them are bad puns. 1% margin for error for the, like, two that are just titled like episodes of Friends.

Do You Outline: If by ‘outline’ you mean ‘have approximately three notes documents and a paper notebook full of post-it notes with different Things I Realised Had To Be In It, slash Thinking Through Things That Aren’t Working, But On Paper, Because That Helps Sometimes, Somehow for each project’, then yes. They’re usually updated constantly the whole time I’m working on the fic - sometimes just a little, sometimes a lot.

Complete: One Hun Dred And Six Teen Works, Babey

In-Progress: The creatively-named Adventure Zone: Balance sequel!fic Imbalance, and Something Borrowed, Something Blues, the sequel to Reincarnation Blues! They’re both actively updating, my update “’”schedule”’” is just glacial.

Coming Soon: Endings for both my published WIPs. I ammmmm also sitting on a couple of things that are all or mostly finished, but they're not likely to get posted, because unfortunately they're not any good and I don't know how to fix them, or they're a specific brand of weird I'm not sure the greater reading public would appreciate or have any use for, or I got fed up with the canon and stopped watching but now I don't know how it ends. Sorry, everyone who followed me because you liked my writing! I peaked in Gravity Falls fandom and it's all downhill from here.

Do You Accept Prompts: Not unless explicitly stated on the blog. I do open up for prompts every now and then, but I’ll reblog a prompt meme or something if I do.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Look, fool's errand or not, I’m still trying to wrangle that damn SPN/MCU Thor fic into something readable. There’s something there. If I ever manage to excavate it (unlikely), you’ll all probably be the first to know. Whether you want to or not.

Tagging @gretchensinister, @tejoxys, @viletorpedo, annnnd...anybody else who saw this and went ‘aw fuck yeah, fic meme’.

[dragonnan]

How about 2, 4, 5, 14, 17, 18, 23

I had to scroll a bit to find the Ask post again lol!! *cracks knuckles* ariiiight!! Sweet!!!

2. least favorite fic you wrote this year: 

“It's Not a Cape”. While there’s nothing really wrong with it I didn’t quite get it to the place I’d wanted it to be.  It was meant to be far far longer with a good deal more development of how the cloak came to be and in the end its development ended up a bit rushed. As it is, I had wanted to get it done for the Stephen Strange Bingo back when I’d actually imagined I could finish that thing lol!

 3. total number of words you wrote this year:

Oh crap, you asked a math question *explodes* uuuummm.... So I’m legit having to go to war with my extreme literal manner as I think what the question ultimately wants to know is within the construct of “posted” works rather than the full sum of actual writing of which I would at least double the number...  But of posted word count... somewhere in the area of 230,923.  Granted some of that includes copied text from other writers within fanart posts but AO3 doesn’t differentiate those things so the number isn’t exact but I guess close enough lol!

5. most popular fic this year:

And once more I’m not actually sure? “The Tiger and the Shark” has, by far, the most comments.  But “Just Another Day in New York” has the most kudos so I guess I’ll leave that up to others to decide how that shakes out lol!

14. a fic you didn’t expect to write:

“The Tiger and the Shark” - easily.  Not the only one, of course, cause arguably just about all my fics have an element of unplanned.  But “Tiger” was my very first Sherlock fic and I really hadn’t expected to be so completely pulled into that world and to end up loving it as deeply as I do, much less actually writing a fic.  Especially another noncon fic (I feel like I’m developing a reputation...)

17.  fics you’ll continue next year:

Sed Diabolus - absolutely! That one is my #1 priority once I wrap “The Tiger and the Shark” - hopefully within the next week or so.  I also will be continuing development on Avengers: New Beginnings and numerous shorter stories for both the MCU and Sherlock.

18. current number of wips:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Maaan!!!!! Ugh.  That’s like being called to the Principle’s office!!

Too many for Psych as my overt passion started to wane a few years ago (never gone - mind you - but I don’t feel that drive that I used to and it will be some time, probably, before I can really delve back into that world).  So, I’ll go by genre:

Psych: 8MCU: 3Sherlock: 1Supernatural: 1How to Train Your Dragon: 1

TOTAL WIPS: 14

23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t:

Not sure if there’s enough space here...

Most of the ideas are Psych ones given I had HUNDREDS of ideas and had to really pick and choose which ones went into development. But one I really was excited about but struggled to create a complete plot was an AU where Jack was Shawn’s real father and provides context for how he came to live with Henry.  I even managed a few pages on that one but it never made it to the posting stage.

I’ve wanted to write a Doctor Who story for a long time now - either about Ten or Eleven (though I really lean towards Ten cause he’s my fave!).  One of the off the cuff ideas I’d had involved bringing back Adam Mitchell from the Ninth Doctor’s list of companions; however short lived (sometimes literally *cough*).  There is SO much potential for that character to become a major influence in later years.  He knows about the Doctor and the TARDIS.  He knows about the future.  HE HAS A COMPUTER INSTALLED IN HIS BRAIN.  Honestly he seems prime... if not “super villain” potential; certainly a character that could be manipulated by someone far more insidious.

I tried, for the longest damn time, to create a crossover between Star Trek and Beauty & the Beast (the original series).  I have this whole plot where Vincent was actually of an ancient alien race left of Earth to protect him from those who would do him harm.  The story was going to take place during the time that the Vulcans made First Contact and they discover Vincent and held to reveal his telepathic abilities as well as help him find his way to his people.  It was also going to be a fix-it for the horrific 3rd season OF WHICH WE DO NOT SPEAK.

MCU: I toyed with this idea of having Howard Stark somehow brought to the present and Tony forced to face his abuser head-on but endgame fucked that whole thing up so thoroughly (along with a WHOOOLE lotta everything) I can’t even bear thinking about it, now.  Oddly enough, that is a rare example where their meddling attempt at retconning history is in dire need of a reverse fix-it...

I have a huge pile of ideas that, at some point, I still want to post. Mostly in the MCU and Sherlock worlds but as interest flicks around other worlds could yet be explored.  And I’m sure I’ll still write more Psych  I got pineapple in my blood, baby!!

...which is probably why I have high glucose...

Thank you so much for this super fun ask, @aelaer!!! This was a total blast!! 

[xukunstellation]

Fantasy Fest Series: Demon of Mine || Bu Fan [Demon!AU]

Credit to @buyuefan for the gif, which sparked inspiration for this fic!

Title: Demon of Mine Pairing: Reader x Bufan Genre: Witch!AU + Demon!AU + fluff  Word Count: 2,202 words Summary: Magic can be tricky, especially when you accidentally summon a demon into your home.

A/N: My first fic in the Fantasy Fest series! At the time of me writing up this fic, demon!au is currently in the lead in the poll. Who else better to play the role of a demon that Bufan himself? Also, a disclaimer: everything is pretty much more or less fictional. I made up a few things as far as summoning demons go and I also didn’t want anyone to get any ideas, lol. Everything is under the cut because this is the longest fic i’ve ever written I think, oof. Enjoy demon!Bufan! 

Warning: mild cursing, brief mention of blood

ya’ll asked for demon!au

so i gotchu boo

you come from a family of witches 

magic has ran through your family blood line for generations, dating back to the early 1400s

contrary to popular belief, your family did not practice black magic or served the Devil

instead your family used magical skills in order to heal others, even opening an apothecary as a family business

all throughout your life, you loved learning about the functions of different types of herbs and ingredients and using that knowledge to create all types of potions and concoctions 

you also had an affinity for spell-casting and charms

every so often, your parents would go on business trips and travel across realms, bringing back new knowledge of spells and potions that you had never heard of 

sometimes they were gone for months or, rarely, a year

it did feel strange being on your own for long periods of time, but you grew accustomed to it

it also meant you were left in charge of running the apothecary, which you were all too eager for

as you flipped to a page in one of your many ancient potion-books to find the cure for nightshade rash for one of your clients, you scanned the ingredient list and saw that one of the ingredients was virtually illegible due to the fact that the ink was rubbed away over time 

“damn. how am I supposed to make this potion now?” you sighed. “guess i’ll have to ask grandma.”

after closing up the shop so that no customers wandered in, you headed to the back room. shelves lined the walls and were filled with all sorts of magical ingredients, all neatly organized according to their use. the soft sound of the fire crackling under the fireplace and the bubbling of the cauldron hanging above it filled the room. books and papers written in latin littered the tables and floor messily, the aftermath of your charms studying session from earlier

with a flick of your wrist, the books and papers levitated and swirled in the air for a moment before tidying themselves into organized stacks. another flick of your wrist, everything including the furniture moved on their own and cleared the center of the floor

“hm... what was the spell that mom used?” you said to yourself.

you had never summoned your deceased grandmother before, let alone any spirit for that matter. usually it was your mother who did the spirit contacting

looking through a spell book, you stopped at one particular spell and figured this was what you were looking for 

how to summon a loved one

according to the spell, all you had to do was draw a magic circle, provide a drop of blood and say a simple incantation. the circle will automatically summon the one you love, which you figured was your grandmother in this case

sounds easy enough

oh boy were you in for a surprise

you carefully used a piece of white chalk to carefully replicate the image  of a large summoning circle, carefully sketching intricate patterns as you go. facing the fireplace, you slowly inhaled and exhaled, a stream of wind leaving your mouth and extinguishing the flames, turning the room almost pitch black. with that said, you lit a few candles around the circle. gently running your index finger over the other, a small incision appeared. tilting your finger, you let a drop of blood fall into the circle. it was time to start the ritual.

closing your eyes, you channeled all of your energy to your core and began reciting the spell incantation. feeling the magic run through your veins, you felt the air pick up and stir around you, creating a vortex at the center of the circle. shadows danced along the walls to the sound of your chanting that grew in volume with each repetition. the once tiny golden flames were now a roaring, brilliant amethyst. 

your words came to a halt as you finished reciting the spell. the room around you also fell into a complete silence. opening your eyes, you were prepared to greet the spirit of your grandmother

except it wasn’t a spirit

hell (no pun intended) it wasn’t even your grandmother

floating in a fog of purple smoke above the summoning circle was a massive male figure around 6′3′’. his hair was a blood crimson, mirroring his glowing eyes beneath his closed lids. aside from wearing slightly loose black pants and a long trench coat, he was completely shirtless 

(you were lowkey checking out his abs ooh la la)

but what caught you the most off guard was the lilac tint of his skin, the onyx curled horns above his head, deadly talons instead of fingernails, and the powerful presence of obsidian wings that were tattered and torn at the edges and looked at least twice your size

“oh shit i just summoned a demon”

at the sound of your voice, the demon’s eyes snapped open and glared at you with what you believe was murderous intent

fuck

you were going to die tonight 

you were a healer, not a fighter rip you

just as the demon made a move to step out of circle, the spell broke. the magic that kept him afloat disappeared in a flash

causing him to plant face first onto your wooden floor

“....pfffft-”

you knew you probably shouldn’t have found the idea of a potentially dangerous demon in your home funny, but you couldn’t stopped laughing at how someone so scary looking could be so clumsy

meanwhile the demon only winced in pain as he stood back up and rubbed his face before shooting you a look of disbelief

most people would faint, pee their pants, cry, or at least scream in fear at the sight of him

but here you are laughing at him

who tf were you?

“are you done?” he deadpanned after watching you laugh at him for three minutes straight

wiping away a stray tear, you barely managed to settle down and responded, “y-yeah i think i’m good. are you?”

“peachy”

you felt the need to laugh again... until you realized that the spell you used was meant to summon:

a loved one

and it summoned this random demon 

wtf was that supposed to mean

“wait, who the hell are you?” you interrogated

“my name is bufan. i’m a formidable demon of the Underworld!” his loud, deep ass voice boomed before leaning down his height to make eye contact with you

you felt your heart flutter a bit at how close he was

“that’s uh... nice...”

“just... nice....?”

“yeah....”

awkward silence

“so who are you and why did you summon me?” bufan questioned, raising a dark eyebrow at you

“oh! i’m (y/n). i kind of summoned you by accident,” you sheepishly admitted

“how do you accidentally summon a demon?”

“how do you accidentally trip and fall while getting summoned?”

“....”

damn you got him there

“anyway,” you coughed, “all i wanted to do was summon the spirit of my dead grandmother, not a demon. i’m not even sure why the spell summoned you in the first place. not to be rude or anything but can you go back to where you came from? I'm really busy and need to talk to my grandmother so i can start this cure already”

"i can't unless you give me your first born child"

“....say what now”

you gaped at his serious poker face before slowly watching it contort into a shit-eating grin. then he broke into a boisterous laughing fit that shook the whole room with its intensity

you pouted when you realized he was pulling your leg. “this is payback for earlier, isn’t it?”

he calmed himself down to a few chuckles, “i was just trying to break the ice. it’s not every day i get summoned to a cute little witch’s home”

you nearly forgot how much of a smooth talker demons were

blood rushed to your cheeks at his words

definitely not because he called you cute

(it definitely is)

“but i’m telling the truth when i say i can’t exactly go back. that’s not how this spell works. i’m already bounded to you by blood”

you wondered what he meant by ‘not how the spell works’

“the spell book doesn’t say anything about it either,” you sighed. “i guess that means you’re stuck with me for the time being- hey! be careful with that!”

you snatched a bottle of naga venom from bufan who already was snooping around at all of the magical ingredients and things around him

“you’re awfully calm. aren't you afraid i'll take your soul or something?" he says

"bold of you to assume I have a soul"

you were joking of course and he, being a demon, could sense that you indeed did have a soul and grinned at you

“just... try and behave yourself, ok?”

“i’ll be on my best behavior”

bufan was not on his best behavior

you should have known never to trust a demon smh

having bufan around was like taking care of three year old child

he’s constantly asking you questions every time you’re trying to make potions and just genuinely trying to annoy you

“(y/n), what’s that?”

“dragon’s breath”

“and that?”

“alicorn tears”

“this empty jar says teeth. who’s teeth?”

“it’s about to be yours in a second after i punch you in the jaw if you don’t stfu”

“are all you humans so snippy?”

“oh my god”

“more like oh my lucifer amirite”

you were a unicorn’s hair away from hexing him jfc

for someone so big, he was also extremely sneaky and sly

he’s always trying to play pranks on you and using his powers to his advantage

such as using his invisibility to randomly pop in front of you or poke your sides or face when you were doing something

or hiding your phone and other necessities all over the house and sending you on an entire scavenger hunt

despite his childish tendencies, bufan was also quite reliable 

for some reason, he grew to be protective of you although he knew you could protect yourself with your own powers

whenever you traveled home alone at night, he insisted on flying you home on his broad back

which you secretly loved bc flying with bufan was always fun since he would always make it feel like a roller coaster ride by flying in loops and various speeds

there were times where bufan even acted like a mother figure which was both intriguing and terrifying

“(y/n), did you eat yet?”

“no i don’t have any time to-”

*proceeds to make eight different types of meals for you*

in addition, he always had liver medicine on hand and you have no idea how or why???

whenever you were having a bad day, he never hesitated to listen to your problems even if they didn’t apply to him as a demon

over the next few months of bufan living with you, your once quiet and uneventful home was now constantly filled with laughter, annoyed yells, and bustle. you found yourself noticeably happier

but a part of you always wondered if your happiness was only one sided

“bufan,” you called out to him one day while fiddling with your wand

he made a grunting sound from the couch that was situated a few feet from you, indicating that he heard you and was listening

“do you regret being summoned by me?” you nervously asked

no answer

feeling your heart drop when he failed to respond, you assumed the worse and laughed quietly to hide the sadness in your heart

“it’s okay if you do. i wont hold it against you,” you nodded timidly

hearing his footsteps approach you, you faintly remember hearing your wand drop onto the floor before he pulled you close to him

you’ve never felt so tiny oml

“what makes you think i regret being here?” he questioned, clearly confused as to why you were suddenly bringing this up

you shrugged, “i don’t know... i mean, you were kind of forced to. do you miss being on your own?”

“do you?”

it took you a moment to quietly reply, “i’ve gotten used to feeling alone, so if you wanted to leave, i would let you”

bufan could hear the loneliness that lingered at the edge of your words. little did you know, he already knew how much you meant to him from the very first day he met you. there was no way it was an accident. he pulled you tighter to him before kissing the top of your head

“silly little witch. who says i’m going anywhere?”

you tilted your head up at him in surprise, “you’re saying that if you had the chance to leave, you wouldn’t take it?”

“you couldn’t get rid of me even if you wanted to”

and you swear that that was the moment you knew you had fallen for a demon

maybe performing that spell wasn’t a mistake after all

perhaps the universe knew that bufan was meant to be your loved one

because there was no better feeling than always coming home to a certain demon of yours

[afjakwritesarchive]

Title: All Bets Are Off Pairing: USUK Words: 5,958 Rating: T (mentions of sexual contact) AU: Human Genre: Romance/Drama Summary: Arthur Kirkland hates the popular crowd; especially World Academy’s all-American golden boy, Alfred Jones. However, after being roped into betting that he can make Alfred like him, Arthur may find himself having a change of heart. A/N: Yes, this is extremely cliche. And yes, I had a fantastic time writing it. Special thanks to my beta reader, for helping me improve this fic!! 

“I don’t understand what your problem with them is, Arthur,” says Francis, taking a grape off of his plastic tray and tossing it in the direction of Arthur’s face.

The Brit in question slaps the offending fruit away, rolls his eyes, and replies, “They’re ridiculous, shallow, self-centered, and obnoxious. Why wouldn’t I have a problem with them?”

Gilbert laughs and pops another fry into his mouth. “You’re right about some of ‘em, but some are pretty cool. ‘Sides, Ludwig hangs out with that crowd and he’s cool, isn’t he? They’re just people that are more popular than others. It’s not like they’re aliens or something.”

“Ludwig is an exception,” says Arthur with a bitter frown set upon his face, choosing to ignore the rest of Gilbert’s words in favor of glaring disdainfully in the direction of World Academy's resident “popular” crowd.

Currently, the large bunch was gathered around two or three round tables, eating and talking loudly. In his mind, Arthur conjured up all sorts of idiotic subjects that they could be talking about; the next football game, cheerleading tryouts, who was seeing who that week. Whatever it was, Arthur was certain that it wasn’t anything intelligent or meaningful. It had been clear since Arthur had started school at the World Academy that all of the particularly popular students at World Academy were absolute airheads. Although the academy, based in England, was well-known for their international scouting for students with “potential”, Arthur found it hard to believe that many of the more popular international students were truly representative of the intelligence the academy sought, and rather had rich parents who had bought their children’s way into the academy.

“Well, one thing’s for sure: they’re all exceptionally good-looking,” chimes Elizaveta from her place at Gilbert’s side, his arm lazily slung across her shoulders.

“Yeah, especially Lovino Vargas,” says Antonio, gazing dreamily in the direction of the aforementioned Italian boy, who appeared to be scolding his twin brother, Feliciano, about something while stabbing a plastic fork into his tupperware containing pasta.

Arthur scoffed and folded his arms across his chest. “Hah! I can’t see a single attractive person over there,” he said, turning his eyes away from the table when Kiku Honda turned a bit and met his gaze by accident.

“That’s because Alfred hasn’t arrived yet,” said Francis with a sultry smile.

Arthur groans aloud at the mere mention of Alfred. “God, he’s the worst out of them all. I’ve never met someone so stupid in my entire life.”

“Speak of the devil,” said Antonio, gazing past Arthur and toward the lunchroom entrance.

Arthur turned just enough to look over his shoulder as none other than World Academy’s golden boy, Alfred Jones, stepped into the lunchroom. His shiny, perfectly white teeth had formed a brilliant smile upon his handsome face as he waved happily to his friends. Arthur huffed and turned away, shaking his head.

“He thinks he’s the most important person here simply because he plays football. And he doesn’t even play the right football,” Arthur lamented.

“I find your distaste for him disappointing, Arthur. I’ve always thought you two would make a fantastic couple.” Replied Francis nonchalantly, although there was a bit of seriousness in his eyes.

Elizaveta perked up, clearly having been bored with the conversation until Francis’ addition. “Oh, you two would be so cute together! The height difference, the contrast in your personalities—it would be amazing!” She added excitedly.

Arthur shot a glare at both Elizaveta and Francis. “God, I can’t believe you’d even say that. As if I’d ever date someone that stupid.”

“Aw, I don’t see why you don’t give it a shot. Francis is never wrong about this stuff.” Antonio reasoned, nudging the French boy with his elbow. “What do you think of Lovino and I?”

Francis nodded sagely, as if thinking seriously. “The chances of him agreeing to a date are slim, but you two would make a good couple. As far as you’re concerned, Arthur, you should follow my advice. Antonio is right about me always being right.” The man said with a laugh.

Arthur rolled his eyes once again. “I think not. I have no interest in that moron.”

“Or maybe you’re just too scared to ask him out ‘cause you think he’ll reject you.” Replied Elizaveta with a knowing smirk.

“Excuse me? I’ll have you know that I’m not afraid of anything, least of all an obnoxious twit like Alfred Jones.”

“Oh? Then I bet you ten dollars that you won’t go ask him out.” Antonio said, his unnaturally red eyes sparkling with mischief and his lips parted in a smug smile.

Arthur’s eyes widened, large brows shooting up. “Fuck off,Carriedo.”

“Someone’s scared,” Antonio chimed, laughing loudly. The rest of the table joined in, laughing at Arthur’s supposed cowardice.

The Brit felt his pale cheeks heating up with anger and embarrassment and pushed himself out of his seat. “Fine,” he said, “I’ll take you up on your idiotic bet only to prove that I don’t give a damn what Alfred thinks of me. But your matchmaking scheme won’t go any further—he’s far too shallow to go out with someone like me,” the Brit huffed before turning on his heel and marching purposefully in the direction of the popular crowd.

Once he reached Alfred’s table, Arthur stopped behind Alfred and folded his arms across his chest. “Jones,” he said, making the American turn with a start.

“Yeah?” Alfred asked, blue eyes meeting green.

For a moment, Arthur was stunned into silence by the beauty Alfred possessed—he’d always known the American was handsome (even if he wouldn’t admit it), but up close he was even more handsome than Arthur had originally thought. Then, regaining his composure, Arthur willed the heat off of his cheeks and cleared his throat.

“I want to take you to dinner at eight this Saturday. What do you say?”

The rest of Alfred’s table had fallen silent and was now watching, most with wide eyes and open mouths. Arthur shot the rest of the table a smirk and looked to Alfred, expecting a similar reaction from Alfred. Instead, he was surprised to find the American looking up at him with his tan cheeks slightly flushed.

“Like, a date?” Alfred asked, surprised.

Arthur resisted the urge to roll his eyes, finding Alfred’s question a perfect example of the American’s stupidity. However, he forced a charming smile onto his face and nodded. “Exactly.”

Alfred’s mouth twisted in a sheepish smile. “Sure,” he replied, seeming genuinely flustered. “Uh—do you want my number?” Arthur floundered, completely astounded. He hadn’t prepared for the possibility that Alfred would say yes, completely sure that Alfred was too shallow and judgemental to date someone that wasn’t popular. Arthur felt his pale cheeks going red and he nodded dumbly. When Alfred reached for his hand, his brain short-circuited and he allowed the American to scribble his phone number down in sharpie across the top of his hand. When Alfred was finished, Arthur turned on his heel and walked away without a word, dropping down into his seat at his table with his eyes still widened.

Immediately, his entire table collapsed into loud laughter. Antonio even applauded Arthur before slapping a ten dollar bill down in front of him.

“Looks like Arthur’s got a date!” Gilbert laughed.

Still flushed, Arthur glared harshly at all of his friends. “Sh-Shut up, all of you! Why the hell did he say yes?!”

“Maybe he’s not as shallow as you think.” Francis suggested.

“Yeah, Arthur. Everyone I know thinks he’s a really good guy,” Antonio said, patting his friend on the shoulder.

“Oh, God,” Arthur groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “Now I have to go out with him. God, what am I going to do?”

“Find something in your closet without spikes or holes, for starters,” Francis said teasingly, gaining the laughter of the rest of the group.

“Shut up, frog.”

“Bet you won’t ask him out again after the first date,” Gilbert chimed with a laugh.

“God, no. I’m not making another bet with you, Gilbert. I’ll hardly be able to endure one date with him, let alone two.”

“Oh? Someone’s definitely scared. We all saw how much you were blushing, Arthur—you obviously like him. I’ll bet you won’t ask him for another date ‘cause you’re scared you’ll want another after that.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Arthur huffed, lifting his head from its place in his palms to glare hashly at his friends. “I don’t like him at all! You four made me ask him!”

“I’ll bet you twenty bucks you won’t ask him for a second date because you’re scared you’ll like him.” Elizaveta said, ignoring Arthur’s protests completely.

“I’ll bet you forty you won’t ask for a third.” Chimed Francis with a smug smile stuck upon his handsome face.

“I’m not fucking scared of Alfred, damn it! I know for a fact that I won’t like him, and I’ll prove it! You idiots may be charmed by him, but a stupid grin and a nice body aren’t enough to charm me. I’ll take you both up on your offers. Easiest sixty dollars I’ll ever make.” Said Arthur bitterly, his cheeks red.

“Wanna make eighty?” Gilbert asked. “I’ll bet you another twenty you can’t get him to admit that he likes you at some point within those dates.”

“Oh, you’re on,” Arthur said. “He’s an idiot—I’ll just spout some cheesy romantic words at him and he’ll probably fall into my arms.”

Francis merely rolled his eyes and then looked to Elizaveta, winking.

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After enduring two days worth of grammatically incorrect, emoji-ridden texts from Alfred, it was Saturday night and Arthur was waiting outside Alfred’s door, tapping his foot on the concrete patio with his arms folded across his chest and a cigarette hanging from his lips. He’d rung the doorbell once already and was about to ring it again when the door swung open and Alfred appeared.

“Hi, Arthur,” he said, smiling sweetly. “Woah, you smoke?”

“Yes,” Arthur replied simply. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I just have to grab my jacket. You wanna come in for a second while I get it?”

Arthur took the cigarette from his lips and let it drop to the ground, smashing it beneath the heel of his black boot. Then, he stepped into Alfred’s immaculate home and glanced around, actively resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he often did. As he expected, the walls were littered with cheesy school pictures of Alfred, as well as several photos of Alfred with two women, one of whom looked incredibly similar to Alfred, along with a much younger boy who also bore a striking resemblance to Alfred.

“I’ll be right back,” Alfred said before stepping out of the room, leaving Arthur alone in his expansive living room.

Despite himself, Arthur found that he was somewhat curious about Alfred’s home—if only for the sake of proving that Alfred was spoiled, he assured himself—and he stepped further into the room. Pictures littered every available wall, and Arthur slowly made his way around the room, gazing at smiling face upon smiling face with mounting interest. There were many pictures to be certain, and most looked to be professional quality, but Arthur hadn’t seen a single photo of Alfred under the age of what Arthur guessed to be around thirteen or foruteen years old. It seemed odd that a family who was clearly so fond of pictures wouldn’t have any of their eldest son as a young child.

“My moms are both photographers,” came Alfred’s voice from behind Arthur, startling the Brit.

Arthur turned around and offered a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I was just—”

“No, I don’t mind,” Alfred quickly interrupted with a shake of his head and a sincere, sweet smile.

“Is that your little brother?” Arthur questioned.

“Yep! That’s Matthew. He’s seven.”

Arthur nodded. “He’s cute.”

“Yeah, I think so too.”

“Where are you?” Said Arthur then, unable to help himself.

Alfred blinked. “What do you mean?”

“There’s no pictures of you as a child. You look like you’re at least thirteen in all of these.”

To Arthur’s surprise, Alfred’s face seemed to fall somewhat and then he brought a hand to the back of his neck and laughed awkwardly. “We, uh, we don’t have any pictures of me as a kid.”

“Why?” Asked Arthur again, far too curious to restrain himself.

“My birth parents never took any, I guess.” Alfred replied with a shrug. “They weren’t, uh, super fond of me.”

It was these words that finally caused Arthur to close his mouth, staring at Alfred in wide-eyed shock. Then, regaining his composure and feeling terribly embarrassed about his rude behavior, he took a step closer. “I’m sorry, Alfred, I… I had no idea.”

“That’s alright,” Alfred said, shaking his head. His usual happy smile returned to his face and he nodded toward the front door. “Should we go?”

Eager to get out of Alfred’s house and forget about his insensitive prying, Arthur agreed. He’d parked his car in Alfred’s driveway to take them to the restaurant, but Alfred asked if he wanted to walk instead seeing as it was such a beautiful night. Knowing that the walk would only make their date even longer, Arthur had half a mind to insist on his car, but there was something about the glint in Alfred’s bright eyes when he looked up at the sky that made Arthur agree against his better judgement.

Thus, they started the walk to the restaurant. Alfred was quick to engage Arthur in conversation, asking question after question about the Brit’s family, his hobbies, what he liked and disliked. At first, Arthur was annoyed by the seemingly incessant questions, but as he offered more information to the American, he found himself genuinely enjoying being able to speak to someone as cheerful as Alfred. No matter how negative his words were, Alfred bounced back with a happy spin on Arthur’s words. Before Arthur knew it, they’d arrived at the restaurant and he was being led to a booth toward the back, which was somewhat secluded and separated from the rest of the other patrons.

“Can I ask you something?” Alfred asked after they’d gotten their drinks and the waitress had left to give them time to look over the menu.

Arthur raised one thick eyebrow and lowered his menu to meet Alfred’s eyes. “Go ahead.”

“Why’d you ask me out? I mean, not that I’m not glad you did, it’s just—we don’t really talk much or anything, so…”

Arthur paused, thinking nervously back to the bet. “Er…” He trailed off momentarily, racking his brain for any response that wouldn’t give himself away. “W-Well, you’re just… You’re different than most of the people I know, and I find you interesting.”

Alfred’s cheeks turned a bit pink, and Arthur was surprised to find that rather than finding the American’s gullibility completely stupid, he thought the sweet flush was actually somewhat endearing. “Oh, well, thanks. You’re much more interesting than me, though.”

“What’s interesting about me?” Arthur asked, surprised. It seemed Alfred wasn’t quite as egotistical as he’d originally thought.

“I dunno, you’re just… I mean, you obviously don’t care what anybody else thinks as long as you’re happy. It’s really cool that you’re brave enough to do what you want and not be worried about other people’s opinions. And you’re, like, the top of our class in English and Literature even though you skip class all the time. You’re obviously super smart, but you also know how to have fun.”

Arthur blinked incredulously. He could hardly believe Alfred was capable of such perceptivity, let alone kind enough to say such things so freely. It made him feel a bit guilty about saying such rude things about Alfred earlier in the week, but he quickly shook such thoughts from his head. They’d only been talking for about thirty minutes—the night was still young, and filled with opportunities for Alfred to prove himself to be as shallow and idiotic as Arthur expected.

But, as the night wore on, Alfred only proved himself to be the opposite. Despite repeatedly reminding himself not to fall for superficial charm, Arthur found himself entirely involved in Alfred by the end of the night, smiling and laughing all the way home. He found that he was actually interested not only in sharing information about himself, but hearing what Alfred had to say as well. As they walked home, he asked Alfred about his hobbies, his interests, his family, and found himself sincerely interested in the answers.

By the time they reached Alfred’s house at the end of the night, it had been three hours, but Arthur could hardly believe it had been twenty minutes. Time had passed so easily with the cheerful boy beside him, he couldn’t help but to be sad to go.

“I had a lot of fun tonight, Arthur,” Alfred said, standing beside Arthur’s car.

“Me too,” Arthur said in return, finding to his shock that he sincerely meant it. Then, remembering the rest of the bet, he quickly added, “perhaps we can do it again next weekend.”

Alfred’s face lit up like a Christmas tree and he nodded eagerly. “Yeah, that’d be great. The carnival starts next Friday, if you wanna…?”

“That sounds perfect.”

“Cool. This time I’ll pick you up, okay? Six?”

“Alright,” Arthur agreed, smiling up into Alfred’s face.

“Sweet. I’ll see you then, Arthur.” Alfred said, turning away.

“Alfred, wait!” Arthur exclaimed, reaching out to take the sleeve of Alfred’s jacket in his hand.

Alfred blinked, clearly surprised by the outburst. He’d opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but Arthur stopped him by pulling him down a bit to press their lips together. Alfred hesitated only a second before his eyes closed and he wrapped his arms around Arthur, tugging the shorter boy closer to him. Arthur slipped his arms around Alfred’s neck and lost himself, his knees going weak at the feeling of Alfred’s strong arms around his waist, their chests pressed against each other, Alfred’s mouth against his, kissing him expertly.

When they finally pulled apart to breathe, Arthur was red in the face and had to resist the urge to tug Alfred back into him immediately.

Alfred grinned. “See you  next Friday,” he said cheekily, turning on his heel and sauntering inside.

Once Alfred was gone, Arthur got into his car and slumped against the steering wheel, groaning aloud to himself. Christ, what had he gotten himself into?

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The following Monday, Arthur’s friends bombarded him with questions about his date all day. Arthur adamantly refused to give up much information and feigned complete disinterest in Alfred, stating that his company was hardly tolerable and that he spent the majority of the night talking about himself and his football career. He claimed to have absolutely no attraction to Alfred at all and whined at length about how torturous their second date was going to be.

Internally, he scolded himself, willing himself to believe that what he was saying was true. The memory Alfred’s sweet smiles, his gorgeous blue eyes so sincerely filled with interest, the feeling of his soft lips against Arthur’s, had plagued him. He wanted more than anything to go back to how he’d been before, blindly hating Alfred, and vowed to put up a front of indifference when he saw Alfred on Friday.

However, Arthur hadn’t counted on the possibility that Alfred would have no problem speaking to him at school. That day at lunch, and for every day after, Alfred stopped by Arthur’s table to say ‘hi’ and catch up for a moment before he headed to his own table. Not only was the younger boy cheerful and friendly toward Arthur, but with everyone at Arthur’s table. He laughed and joked with the whole group, and even managed to get Lovino to agree to giving Antonio his phone number. Arthur was appalled at how quickly his friends took to Alfred, all of them singing his praises whenever he left. Internally, Arthur agreed, but he insisted to his friends that they shouldn’t get too attached to the young American as he was already eagerly awaiting the end of their third date and never having to see him again.

By the time Friday rolled around, Arthur had promised himself that he wouldn’t get any more attached to Alfred than he already was. Alfred picked him up at six on the dot and they rode to the carnival in relative silence, aside from the music playing quietly from Alfred’s radio and the American singing along quietly. Arthur couldn’t help but to find Alfred’s sweet singing entirely too endearing, and forced himself to tune the American out the whole ride.

“Arthur?”

“Hm?” Arthur blinked and looked up from his position peering out the car window, noting that Alfred was gazing expectantly at him.

“I asked whether you wanted me to get you a wristband or individual tickets. Are you okay?” Alfred asked.

The sincere concern in his eyes making Arthur feel a bit guilty about being standoffish. Even so, Arthur knew he couldn’t risk growing any closer to Alfred and so he made a face and shook his head.

“Truthfully, Alfred, I don’t think I’m feeling all that well.” Arthur lied.

“Oh. No worries, Artie, I’ll take you home. We can do this when you’re feeling better. You know you didn’t have to pretend to be okay, right? I wouldn’t be mad.”  Alfred said with an easy smile.

“I know, I just wanted to see if I would feel better by the time we got here. I-I was looking forward to it,” Arthur admitted, convincing himself he’d only said it to flatter Alfred.

“I was too, but it’s no big deal. The fair will be open next weekend too, and I don’t want to drag you around and make you feel worse. Let’s get you home,” said Alfred kindly.

“Thank you,” replied Arthur quietly, sincerely guilty. He hated himself for lying to someone who so obviously cared for him, but he couldn’t let it continue. Arthur knew that he was already too attached to Alfred as it was. If things went any further, he didn’t know if he’d be able to end things with Alfred after their third date, and then he’d have to admit that he’d been utterly, blatantly wrong about Alfred and perhaps all of Alfred’s friends as well.

“If you’re feeling better, do you wanna go next weekend?” Alfred asked as he began the drive back to Arthur’s house.

“Yes, that sounds perfect. Friday at six,” he offered with a smile.

“Cool,” Alfred laughed. “So, your friends seem pretty cool. They’re funny.”

“I suppose, although most of their humor comes at the expense of someone else in the group.” Arthur said, thinking sourly upon the bet that had gotten him into this predicament to begin with.

“Yeah, but it’s obvious they don’t mean it. You guys seem like you all really care about each other. And I’m glad they like me, too.”

“They like you more than they like me,” Arthur joked, making Alfred laugh.

Once again, conversation flowed easily and Arthur was disappointed when they finally reached his home. Alfred parked the car and turned toward Arthur, smiling gently.

“I know we didn’t get to do what we planned, but I’m still glad I got to see you. I hope you feel better soon.” Said Alfred sweetly.

“Me too,” Arthur sighed, regretting his decision to cut their date short. “A-Actually—I know it’s not quite as exciting as the carnival, but I think I’m well enough to sit on the couch and watch a movie, if you’re interested…?” He asked, immediately cursing his complete lack of self-restraint.

Alfred brightened and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like fun! You sure, though? I don’t wanna keep you up when you should be getting rest.”

“I’m sure.”

Thus, Arthur spent another wonderful night with Alfred. This time, Alfred kept him close for the majority of the night, keeping an arm hooked around his waist as they watched the movie. Arthur was hesitant at first, but found himself giving into his desires quickly, resting his head against Alfred’s chest and cuddling up against him. Halfway through, the movie was paused and they began to talk, their conversation seeming endless. When Alfred finally realized the time and bid Arthur goodbye, Arthur sent him off with another passionate kiss that left him both hating himself and longing for more.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Once again, Arthur endured the taunts and jeers of his friends (and feigned pride when Elizaveta forked over twenty dollars despite the insurmountable guilt pooling in the pit of his stomach) when he returned to school on Monday. Alfred visited him every day during lunch that week and was even joined by Lovino Vargas, to Antonio’s pleasure, and Kiku Honda. Though Alfred never stayed with Arthur for the whole lunch period, it was obvious the two groups were slowly beginning to blend together thanks to Alfred’s efforts.

When Friday finally rolled around, Arthur was both eager and terrified for his date with Alfred. However, all of his fear vanished the second he hopped into the passenger seat of Alfred’s car, replaced by a careless happiness that couldn’t be restrained. For the rest of the night, Arthur thought nothing of his pride nor of the bet he had with his friends, instead directing all of his attention to the sunny blond at his side.

By the time eleven rolled around, Arthur was pressed between the side of Alfred’s car and the American’s body, kissing him hungrily.

“Hey, Arthur?” Alfred asked, his voice coming out in breathy pants as he spoke.

“Mhm?” Arthur asked, running his hands down Alfred’s arms and grinning up at him, their foreheads pressed together.

“I really like you,” Alfred murmured.

Arthur paused momentarily, suddenly recalling the bet. Guilt immediately pooled in his gut and he was about to feign illness again, but then Alfred was taking his hand and kissing the corner of his mouth.

“And my moms and Mattie are spending the night at my aunt’s place tonight, so…”

Arthur’s breath hitched in his throat. He was no stranger to sex, that much was certain—but he’d never slept with someone as amazing as he already knew Alfred was. Once again forgetting all of his guilt, Arthur nodded and tugged Alfred closer, kissing him passionately. “Then let’s go back to your place,” he purred.

Alfred grinned and stepped back, allowing Arthur to walk around the car and to the passenger’s side. The ride back home was quick, and then Alfred was leading Arthur upstairs to his bedroom. They fell upon his bed in a tangle of limbs, kissing each other hotly. Before long, Arthur was bare underneath Alfred, moaning against his skin, whimpering and nodding when Alfred hesitantly asked, “is this okay?” His hands found Alfred’s back and gripped him tightly, pain dissolving into euphoric pleasure.

After they’d thoroughly exhausted themselves, Alfred fell down beside Arthur and tugged him closer. “Arthur…” He trailed off momentarily. “I don’t want you to think I’m one of those people who sleeps with someone and then never talks to them again.”

Arthur shook his head. “I know you aren’t,” he panted. “I have been in the past, but it’s not like that now. I… I like you too, Alfred.”

Alfred smiled and kissed Arthur gently on the lips. “Can you stay the night?”

“Mhm.” Arthur replied happily, cuddling closer to Alfred and closing his eyes.

When Arthur woke up in the morning, it was to Alfred shifting beside him. Arthur opened his eyes, green meeting gorgeous blue, and Alfred smiled softly.

“Want me to make some breakfast?” Alfred asked softly.

“God, is food all you think about?” Arthur teased with a wry smile.

Alfred laughed and slipped out of bed, taking a pair of boxer shorts from a drawer. Arthur admired the view of Alfred’s fantastic arse and toned, muscular body as the American dressed himself in a pair of loose-fitting jeans and a t-shirt. When Alfred turned around and raised a teasing brow, Arthur could only laugh and roll his eyes.

“I’ll be downstairs,” Alfred said, “you get dressed. Shower’s through that door if you need it.”

“Thanks,” Arthur answered, slipping out of bed and walking through the aforementioned door.

After breakfast, Alfred convinced Arthur to watch another movie with him. After that, Arthur treated them both to lunch at a cafe in town, and then Alfred reluctantly dropped Arthur off at home.

“See you tomorrow,” Alfred said happily.

“Mhm, see you then,” Arthur answered back, leaving with a small peck to Alfred’s lips.

As Alfred pulled out of his driveway, Arthur’s heart sank. The bet was over—tomorrow, he’d get his money and be expected to break things off with Alfred. He walked back into his house and flopped down upon his couch, vowing to suck it up and admit that he liked Alfred.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

When Arthur finally found Gilbert, the man was in the science lab working on a project.

“Hey,” Arthur greeted simply, his pale hands shoved into the pockets of his ripped jeans.

“Hey, Artie. How was date number three?” Gilbert asked, grinning as he lifted a test tube full of red liquid up and stared intently at it for a moment before setting back on a rack with other test tubes.

“It was… Er, it was fine,” said Arthur awkwardly, grimacing. “Actually, I wanted to—”

“Damn, man, I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it!” Gilbert interrupted, shaking his head in a jokingly disapproving manner, a grin stuck upon his pale face. “Francis owes you money, I guess. What about my part, though? Did you get him to say that he liked you?”

“I-I did, yes, but—”

“Damn, maybe you have more game than I thought. I’ll get your twenty to you at lunch. When are you planning on breaking it off with him?”

Arthur’s eye twitched, annoyed at the continuous interruptions by the other boy. “I’m trying to tell you that—”

“Breaking it off?” Came a sudden, familiar voice from the doorway.

Arthur whipped around, mouth falling open in shock at the sight of Alfred in the doorway. The American was staring at him with his blue eyes widened and hurt obvious in them, his mouth turned downward in a frown that was so very unlike him. He looked so positively upset, so far from his usual sunny self, that Arthur felt as if he’d just taken a knife to the gut. To know that it was he who had caused the pain currently blanketing Alfred’s face only twisted the blade deeper into him, and his mouth worked uselessly for a moment.

“A-Alfred, I-I…” Arthur floundered, entirely unsure of what to say. He looked back to Gilbert, but his friend was frozen in place looking equally as shocked as he was.

“What the hell is this, Arthur? Were you—did you bet money on us getting together?!” Cried Alfred, brows furrowing with anger.

“I—I can explain, really. It was stupid, and I was coming here to explain that I wanted to call off the bet!”

“Really? Because it sounded like you were trying to collect your payment,” Alfred spat sarcastically. “How much money did you make off of me, huh? Did you bet on each individual date, or just getting to the third one?” Alfred questioned angrily. When Arthur looked down guiltily, he scoffed. “God, of course you fucking did. So you’ve already made money off of me twice!”

“Alfred, please, it isn’t like that anymore,” Arthur said.

“What made you change your mind, then? Obviously it wasn’t the first or the second—oh, right, so it must’ve been when you were getting into my fucking pants!” Alfred laughed humorlessly.

“Ho-ly shit, you two slept together?” Gilbert asked, wide-eyed as he looked between the pair.

“How much money are you gonna make for that, huh? Did you bet on how fucking big I was, too?” Demanded Alfred bitterly, and Arthur noticed the glassy, wet look of his eyes.

“Alfred, I swear I didn’t intend for it to end up like this. When all this first started I had no idea that I would end up being so fond of you! I thought you were—”

“Let me guess,” Alfred interrupted. “You thought I was some stupid, arrogant jerk who you could toy with for your own personal amusement, without even bothering to get to know me at all. Thanks, but I really don’t need an explanation.” With that, Alfred turned on his heel and stormed out of the room.

Arthur jerked into action, dashing out of the room. Alfred was walking quickly down the hallway toward the gym, and Arthur had to run to keep up with him.

“Alfred, wait!” Arthur cried, catching the American by his wrist.

Alfred pulled himself from Arthur’s grasp and continued, increasing his pace. “Fuck off.”

“Alfred, please, just let me explain!” Hollered Arthur, breaking into a full-on run until he was finally in front of Alfred, effectively cutting off his path.

Alfred stalled in the hallway and fixed his angry blue eyes upon Arthur, the beginnings of tears in the corners of them. He folded his arms across his chest and frowned harshly. “You have thirty seconds.”

Arthur gulped, floundering under the American’s harsh gaze. His current angry demeanor was so unlike his usual happy-go-lucky self, and the Brit almost couldn’t take the guilt he felt at having hurt Alfred so much.

“Alright,” Arthur began, taking a deep breath in. “I did make a bet that I could get you to go out with me, and I admit that was wrong! And yes, I bet that I get you to go on three dates with me and admit that you liked me, and that was even more wrong! But I never, never bet that I could get you to sleep with me, nor would I have ever. And yes, I admit that I had some misconceptions about you, and spoke unkindly about you, but I regret it! I regret it so much, Alfred, and if I could go back and change it I would. If I had any idea the kind of smart, amazing person you were, I would have never been so harsh.”

Alfred scowled. He wasn’t saying anything, but the crease of his brows had softened a bit and his arms fell limp at his sides.

Arthur continued, “You opened my eyes, Alfred. It was so, so wrong of me to judge you without knowing you—or anyone for that matter. And because of you, I was able to look at myself critically and realize that the way I thought about other people—and treated them as a result—was hurtful. I-I understand that what I did was wrong, but I meant what I said. I… I really like you, Alfred. And I don’t want you to leave when we’re just getting to know each other.”

Alfred’s face softened even further and he wiped the tears from his eyes. “...How much money did you make off of me?”

Arthur’s face fell, knowing then that Alfred couldn’t let it go. Deciding it was best to be honest, he looked guiltily to the floor. “...Eight dollars total.”

“Then you’re buying dinner next weekend.” Alfred said.

Arthur looked up, surprised to find that Alfred was smiling down at him. “R-Really?” The Brit asked, eyes quickly filling with tears of relief at the sight of the happy smile he’d come to adore so much.

“Mhm. Wherever I want.”

“Oh, God. Don’t you dare say McDonalds,” Arthur groaned, heart fluttering when Alfred slipped an arm across his shoulders and turned them around, steering them in the direction of the lunch room.

Alfred laughed loudly. “Wherever I want,” he repeated, and Arthur could only laugh cheerfully in response.

“Alright, alright, wherever you want. But just this once.”

[hoyoungy]

On-Air | Vernon/Hansol (I)

genre: fluff, comedy, slight angst, college au | vernon x radio personality!reader summary: under the pseudonym Honey, you are the host of the most popular radio show in the city called Honey Time Radio where you give advice about relationships, school, and life in general. when it comes to your own love-life, however, you don’t have the best luck, and you don’t even follow your own advice! so what happens when you get a call from a listener who’s asking you advice on how to get to your heart? word count: 2880 a/n: oh my god i was stuck between wanting to write this for vernon, wonwoo, or woozi for the longest time, but ultimately decided vernon. i hope it fits him well! warnings include swearing, mentions of alcohol, and that it’s an extremely dialogue-heavy fic. as seen on my ao3

part ii

“Good evening, everyone. It is 9:48 on a Friday night and I am but twelve minutes away until I am free and only an hour and twelve minutes away until I have a drink in my hand. If you’re just tuning in, then you just missed my totally normal conversation with caller number three about her recurring ‘sock on the door handle’ dilemma with her roommate,” you sigh into the mic as a nostalgic smile appears on your lips. “I didn’t think people still do that stuff! I haven’t heard of a sock on the knob since my freshman year in college. You’d think people would be courteous enough to just shoot you a text, but nope, they can’t even do that, huh? Caller number nine, what do you think?”

“I think it’s just lazy and rude! I’d be pissed if I came home after a long night of studying at the library and see a damn sock on my door. If I were her, I would not give a fuck and just walk in.”

“Whoops, we’ll have to bleep some of that,” you chuckle. “Thanks for your input, number nine! Caller number thirteen, how about you?”

“I mean, I’d probably just go to neighbor’s dorm or somewhere else… I don’t really see a big deal about it, you know? Or she should just get back before her roommate does! Or tell the RA?”

“Number thirteen, I think we all know that no one likes a snitch,” you tease. “But thanks for your input. Anything to say, number twenty-two?”

“Just join them.”

“Whoa ok, that’s the end of that,” you said, cutting number twenty-two off before they could go further. “I think we have time for one more caller. You’re on the line, what can I do for you?”

“Hello, hi! Oh wow, I’m so nervous,” your caller giggled cutely. “S-So, there’s this boy…”

“There’s always a boy.”

“Yeah, right? So there’s this boy and I really like him. A lot. But I’ve never really said more than five words to him at a time. He’s just so cute that I get so flustered and I have to like, leave the lecture hall right away. He’s going to this party that I’ll be at tonight, and I really want to talk to him, but I don’t know what to say? Or do? Do you think I should drink before I talk to him? You know, liquid courage? Or-or how about -”

“Whoa, ok slow down! Take a deep breath,” you ushered. “Everything’s going to be fine. You don’t need a shot of some cheap vodka or a sip of some diluted jungle juice to get you through a conversation with this guy. Wait, is this your first conversation with him?”

“Yeah…”

“… Ok, maybe like, one shot will do the trick. But you know, I’ve definitely been there. I think the majority of us listening have definitely been there, too. It can be nerve-wrecking and terrifying, I totally get it. But once you start the conversation, once you get the hang of it, I assure you it’s smooth sailing from there. But you can’t be one of those people that stares him down waiting for him to start the conversation with you, you know? YOU gotta be the one to initiate. Show him you’re interested.”

“What do I even say? What do I talk about with him?”

“Definitely not school, the weather, his exes. Those are the three no-nos. I’d say… Start off by asking about him. Ask if he’s into the kind of music that’s playing, or what potato chip flavor should you choose to eat from the chip bowl, or if he’s a dog person or a cat person. If you approach him and you’re really way too nervous for a conversation at that moment, a usual go-getter is to ask them to play beer pong. Guys love beer pong for some reason. I don’t get it, but hey, if it works, right?”

“What if he says no…?”

You sigh lightly, briefly thinking about how many times people have asked you that question. “Then it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Just like that?”

“You could waste your time pining after someone who doesn’t appreciate how wonderful you or you could spend your time finding someone who will. Men ain’t shit, you know?”

“_____!” Dj Wonwoo hissed.

“Sorry. We’ll edit that out,” you smirked.

“You’re right… But he’s soooo cute ~! Ok, I’ll try what you said and if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. Thanks so much, Honey!”

“No problem. All right, that’s about it for tonight. Remember to stay safe out there if you’re going out tonight, that no one is worth that one shot of vodka, and most importantly, to bring a hair tie for your long-haired friends that might need it when they’re throwing up in the toilet. I’ll see you guys on Monday. Thank you for listening to Honey Time Radio. This is Honey signing off.”

When the ‘On-Air’ light shut off in the studio, you took off your headphones and leaned back against your chair, letting out a loud groan.

“Can you at least try to keep the language clean!? The head of the department might suspend the show! Again,” Wonwoo scolds, hanging his headphones on the hook.

“Sorry, ok! I gotta support my girls out there and tell them the hard truth that men are trash.”

“You only say that because you don’t take your own advice, which I still don’t understand.”

“I am a complex woman, Wonwoo. I don’t need a man, anyways! Besides, it might blow my cover if I follow my own advice.”

“Whatever you say. You ready to go to Mingyu’s?”

“Yes, dear God. I need a drink so badly.”

“We were on air for only like, three hours today…”

“Being the campus’s advice guru is draining, ok.”

“You know Hansol’s going tonight,” Wonwoo said as you both approach the door.

“The goodie two-shoes that looks like a bad boy?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Ok, so?”

“So ~ what do you think about him?”

You look at Wonwoo with a cautious stare and see that he’s giving you another one of his weird smirks. “Uh, he’s cool, I guess.”

“That’s it!?”

“Well, what do you want me to say!? I barely know him!”

You’ve met Hansol only a handful of times all throughout your years in college. Actually, you didn’t really know many of Wonwoo’s friends because you’re so preoccupied with your own studies and thinking up topics to discuss on the show that you never bothered to socialze too much, which was completely fine with you, as it kept your identity as Honey anonymous. Your first impression of Hansol was the same as Wonwoo’s (which is never a good sign) - he looked like he was your stereotypical bad boy that gave absolutely no fucks. But the same day you met him you felt guilty because, surprise, he was actually really nice.

But aren’t they all at first?

“He always asks about you. Well, about Honey.”

“He’s not the first guy to ask you about her, what makes him special?”

“Hansol’s a special guy. You’ll see,” Wonwoo smiles as he knocks on the door.

“You said that about Mingyu, and look how that turned out.”

“That was clearly a mistake…”

“Dj Hyung ~!” a flushed Mingyu swung the door open, holding two cups of stuff at his fingertips. “And Noona! Here, drink this!”

He shoves the red cups in yours and Wonwoo’s hands and neither of you hesitate to chug it down.

“That’s the spirit. Come in, it’s just getting started!”

The music was already loud before Mingyu opened the door, but when you stepped into his apartment, you could barely hear your own thoughts. The hallways were crowed with people making out or waiting in line for the bathroom and the rooms were dark filled with people dancing.

“How’s my girlfriend Honey doing? Why isn’t she here with you guys!?” Mingyu pouted, guiding you and Wonwoo to the drinks.

“She said she had a, uh, project due at midnight, so she couldn’t come,” you lied. “She said happy birthday, though.”

“I’ll never get to meet the love of my life…” You cringed at his whining. Mingyu was a prime example of why you didn’t want to reveal yourself. Though if he ever does find out, you’re sure he’d back off right away.

In the kitchen where the drinks were, you see Hansol standing next to the punch bowl talking to a girl who seemed too shy for this kind of environment. She reminded you a lot like your last caller of the night. He saw the three of you approach him and he errupted with his wide, gummy grin that was too cute even for you.

“Hey!” he greeted the both of you, though it seemed his focus was more on you than your partner in crime. “You made it.”

“Wouldn’t miss little Mingyu’s birthday for the world,” you said.

“I’m 21!” he screamed, shoving a shot of something in your hands. “Cheers!”

While your two tall friends take the shot, you toss yours into Hansol’s cup, who gladly accepts.

“S-So, Hansol!” Oh yeah, he was talking to someone else before you came and interrupted. Whoops. “Do you listen to Honey Time Radio?”

Your ears perked up at your name. You always loved hearing about what others thought about your show. It was enlightening and it helped you steer the show in a good direction.

“I love Honey Time Radio!” Hansol beamed, and you can’t help but smile with pride at his enthusiasm. “I want to meet her one day. She always sounds so profound and just amazing, you know? I want to have a conversation with her over a cup of coffee or something. Just to talk.”

A deep blush formed on your cheeks. In all the times you’ve heard boys talk about Honey, they only talked about how hot you sounded or how funny you were. Never had they said anything like wanting to just talk. Was hot in here or was it the alcohol?

“How about you, _____?” Hansol asked you, pulling away from your thoughts.

“H-Huh? Me?” You looked around the kitchen to find your scapegoats Mingyu and Wonwoo, but they’re nowhere to be seen. You cursed yourself for not paying attention. “Uh, yeah, I-I love Honey. She sounds like she cares for her listeners. She’s someone I can look up to,” you said, definitely tooting your own horn.

“Yeah, right!? It’s like she’s talking to you and you only…” You look at Hansol getting lost in his own thoughts and you feel proud that you had that sort of effect on him.

Well, that Honey had that effect on him.

The three of you hear glass break in one of the rooms, followed by Wonwoo screaming, “Mingyu, what the fuck!”

“That’s my cue to go,” you said, trying to escape being the third wheel. “I’ll see you later -”

“Wait, I’ll go with you!” Hansol said, speeding past you towards the crash and leaving the other girl speechless.

“Why did you leave? She was totally interested in you!” you asked.

“She was so bland! She asked me about, like, music and stuff…”

Uh oh, that might have been your doing. But that’s a great conversation starter, right!? Since when was music a bland topic to talk about!?

“You didn’t even want to give her the chance?”

“I just couldn’t do it. Besides, I’m too distracted trying to watch over Mingyu-hyung, since Wonwoo-hyung clearly can’t,” he chuckled.

You sighed as you followed Hansol, his hand grasping your arm as he pushed passed the people so he wouldn’t lose you in the crowd. Just as you thought you were finally getting closer to figuring men out, you’re taken all the way back to square one. You silently apologize to all the people who took your advice and completely scratch that advice from your mental idea board.

In the living room, you and Hansol see Wonwoo picking up the broken pieces of a vase while Mingyu peaks through the curtains of his windows.

“Mingyu, what are you doing -”

“Cops! Cops are here! Every body out!” he screamed, cutting you off.

In a matter of seconds, all of the people in his apartment ran out the front door, the back door, through the windows, every orafice of the apartment, leaving only you, Hansol, Mingyu, and Wonwoo.

“How long have we been here,” you asked, helping Wonwoo pick up the pieces.

“Twelve minutes.”

“Great. I’m going home then.”

“Ok, I’ll stay here and watch over Mingyu - wait, where did he go?”

The three of you hear him loudly puking in the bathroom.

“At least he made it to the bathroom…” Wonwoo sighed.

“I’ll walk you home,” Hansol offered.

“Wait, what?” you asked, whipping your head to look at him. The last thing you wanted was to be left alone with Hansol and make awkward conversation. “That’s ok, I can go by myself.”

“No way, not with all the crime alert emails we get every day. It’s too dangerous.”

“Yeah, _____, let him walk you home.” You could hear the pushy tone in Wonwoo’s voice as he tried to be subtle with you. When Hansol wasn’t looking, he mouthed to you ‘don’t fight it!’

“O-Ok,” you nodded. “Let’s go.”

Hansol beamed at your acceptance and followed you out the door. You tried to think up of at least five different conversation topics so that the walk wasn’t spent in silence. At least you wouldn’t ask him about music… But then what would you talk about!?

“So, how’s working with Wonwoo?” he asked you.

“A pain in the ass.”

“I bet. I’m surprised he does any work at all.”

“Actually, he does a lot more than you think,” you said. Wonwoo was infamously known for being a sleepy sloth, but when it came to the show, he put his whole heart into it, just like you. You - well, Honey - took pride in being his partner. “He does a lot of behind the scene stuff that no one gets to hear.”

“What do you do there?”

“I edit and upload the podcast. Honey likes to swear a lot, so I gotta bleep that out.” You came up with this fantastic lie when Mingyu first asked you what you did at the station. It wasn’t a complete lie - you just weren’t telling the whole truth.

“That’s so cool! Have you seen her before!?”

“A couple of times, but she always leaves to go back to her apartment.”

“Damn, I’m so curious about her! Every time I catch her show, I can’t stop thinking about her for the rest of the night. I’ve been begging Wonwoo for months to let me come down and meet her.”

“Jeez, months?” You blushed again at the mere thought that Hansol really wanted to meet Honey.

“Yeah. I meant it when I said I want to just have a conversation with her. Like, an intelligent one, about life or the stars, that cheesy shit, you know? No one seems to believe me when I say that, though,” he chuckled.

“She does have a lot of admirers.”

“Is it because her and Wonwoo have a thing going on?”

“Oh God, no!” you defended a little too quickly. You cleared your throat when Hansol raised his brow at you. “No, no, absolutely not, that’s just… No, that’s gross. Honey and Wonwoo? Never.”

“… Do you have a thing for Wonwoo?”

“I love Wonwoo, but you know, not like that.”

“Whatever you say, _____ ~”

You arrived in front of your apartment not long after. When you turned to say good bye, you were stunned by the soft smile he gave you. It was genuine, like he was happy that you let him walk you home.

“Thanks for walking me. You really didn’t have to,” you said.

“But I wanted to! Besides, I heard that you think I’m some kind of bad boy.”

“Dammit, Wonwoo! That was when I first met you! Not anymore, I swear.”

“It’s because I walked you home, huh?” he smirked.

“That, and that I also need to not judge people so quickly.”

“Well, that just means we need to hang out together more.”

“Hangout?” you asked, not sure if you heard correctly.

“Yeah. Let’s grab lunch together sometime. Or even just study. I heard you’re pretty good at Biology, and uh, I’m kind of failing it right now.”

“Only if you help me in English.”

“It’s a date!” he grinned. “Well, a lunch date… Study date… Y-You know…”

“Yes, I get it,” you laughed.

“Can I get your number? Or e-mail, or something…?”

Oh no, he was so cute tripping over his words… You mentally slapped yourself to get it together. You held out your hand as a way to ask for his phone and put in your number.

“Cool! I mean great. I mean thanks… I’ll just text you.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

Hansol gave you a shy wave good bye as he walked away. From a distance, you could see him shake his head from embarrassment.

Wonwoo was right - Hansol’s quite the special guy. You could already feel yourself dig a hole that you might not make it out of.

[scummy-writes]

Thoughts on the V Route! (Spoilers)

Full on disclaimer: This is purely my opinion on the route, and in no way am I trying to force my opinions onto anyone, or am I expecting people to agree fully. We all have different opinions and that's okay! Please don't harass me over any opinion stated in this, as I'm just sharing this for people who are interested and my intention is that and that only. Thanks! 💕

So, starting off, I cannot say I didn’t have a fun time with this route. I mean throughout the whole game, I was so excited for every chat, even if it dealt with characters I didn’t enjoy at all (Which was mainly just Rika, to be honest.)

I’m not going to lie though, while I like V, there were some things I was kind of disappointed in, but since V isn’t one of my super favorites, I don’t think it’s appropriate to say that the route is terrible because of some of the things I didn’t personally like.

But...I wanna open this up with more than just complaints!

I do wanna talk about what I enjoyed!

So seeing all of the characters before the canon main story was very fun! It was neat seeing how different they were two-ish years back. Jumin seemed to remain the same out of all of them (Still confused about the world outside of what he’s experienced, still a lovable dork in my opinion, still pretty level-headed and trying his best to joke).

Jaehee, through the whole route, seemed a lot more blunt than usual, and after I was secured on V’s route (aka getting to day 5 with no problem), I was very happy that I could throw a lot of hearts to her without an issue, haha! I missed being able to be sweet to her, and the cute (and tired) selfie we got was great!

Yoosung was very….Salty. Very much so, and there were times where, at first, it was a little annoying. Right off the bat he starts trying to convince you V is shady, and I can’t really blame him due to it being set just six months after Rika’s ‘death’, and how he was there with the interview with V and the police- That would make me a little suspicious as well….But, like usual, he kinda...blew up about it at first, but I got used to it, especially later on once he learns about what Rika had been doing and starts freaking out (along with all of the other members). I really Can’t blame him for that orz poor sweetie ;;; I think that would be such a huge shock knowing a close family member did such things. I’m glad he was able to get help, but also as the route went on, I felt so bad that he apparently never got therapy when he first learned about Rika’s ‘death’. :( And it was also sad when Jaehee seemed to recommend it from possible personal experience. I mean I’m glad she was able to get help, but hhhhh my babies ;;;; The fact that he apparently turned to drinking a lot when Rika ‘died’, and later on in the route, h u r t s orz

And contrary to popular belief, while Zen isn’t my favorite, I did have a fun time with him in this route except for when he was an asshole in situations that it wasn’t necessary. V getting hurt and needing a doctor is an example, and I thought it was uncalled for when Zen chose that time, of all times, to nag at Jumin for wanting to bring in his personal doctor. Another time is calling Yoosung a ten year old when Yoosung started to text MC during a big mental breakdown moment of his- Finding out this stuff with Rika. But...Besides that? He was pretty fucking funny. The whole thing about his computer was great, and I really did appreciate him helping Yoosung out, and showing more what their friendship is like. My only other issue was that, at first, there weren’t many options with him that I could choose that weren’t either A- Relentless flirting, or B- being a complete ass to him. Later on this got better though! I really like it when he’s not trying to flirt with you a lot.

Seven……..Was fucking great LOL. Lately I’ve been liking him more as a character! At first I was just kinda ‘meh’ with him, or had days where I just didn’t want to think about how he was kinda rude on his own route, but just seeing him in the chatroom was always great. At first he seemed a little...Hesitant? But later on it was just great seeing him interacting with everyone. The car-ride with Jaehee was great, and according to a friend, I apparently missed a very prime opportunity to call and hear him impersonate Jaehee LOL. I felt extremely bad for him later on, but...I’ll get to that later >>. Regardless,  I enjoyed his goofiness and interactions! I especially loved when him and Vanderwood were able to interact. I honestly didn’t think Vanderwood would be in this, but it was great seeing him! (And realizing he wants to go by ‘Stark’ instead LMFAO). When Vanderwood took Seven’s phone and chatted with you- I can say I think that was one of my favorite chatrooms in the game. I laughed so much and just had a fun time talking to him!

For V...

While I highly enjoyed each chat, a lot of phone calls, and some of the scenarios we were presented with, I have to say overall that this route sorta lowered my opinion of V ;;; There were many moments I enjoyed, don’t get me wrong! I loved finally getting to talk to him on the phone, how kind he was with the player, and just seeing how V really acts. In the main route, we never got to see him much...So every chatroom with him and Jumin were great, and I loved being able to learn more about his past (and good god I love his mom a lot? I wasn’t expecting that ajfbsdbhf). I Also loved the chat with V and Zen, talking about when Zen got into that motorcycle accident? It was nice hearing that Zen didn’t really seem super bothered (??) about the fact that V was...stalking him. It was weird, but I suppose it’s because it led to Zen still being alive to this day ajkbfsh

There were a lot of moments in the game that I loved, and so I was really hyped for what his route was going to bring! I was hoping my worries were going to be answered, but it started going downhill quickly for me when he straight up lied to Seven about Saeran being the hacker. Like, I was all “Okay, well… Maybe it’s because adding even more stress into a stressful situation isn’t ideal right now…?” But...It just rubbed me the wrong way, and as the plot progressed and Saeran killed himself- It’s never shown with V telling Seven about who the hacker really was?? He got away with never giving Saeran a chance to be saved from that horrible situation, which could have been solved if he just told Seven. Hell ;;; I wouldn’t even have minded if V told Seven, and the outcome was still the same. It would mean he was at least trying to help Saeran.

Because of that, and because of how much I love Saeran, that...Really made me not like V as much anymore. I could handle him wanting to hide things from the RFA members- He’s a victim of abuse, he wouldn’t want to hurt them especially when it came into terms of how horrible Rika had turned out to be. But he had several chances to tell Seven about Saeran, even if it was just “The hacker is Saeran-” Because Seven would have damned well tried to rush into Mint Eye a lot sooner than Saeran had a chance to kill himself. I...Can’t really think of any ways to forgive him for that. That’s a huge mistake to make, and where it led just makes it harder to say I like V after this.

I think I still prefer a V that is outside of this route, and based off of stories and fics I read before this route ;;;

Since we’re on the topic of Saeran, I cannot express enough how much I love him waaaah ;;; The whole Ray/Saeran bit gets me confused. I can’t tell if ‘Ray’ is how he really acts (which doesn’t make a lot of sense), if he has BPD (Which I guess is plausible but I don’t know anything about the disorder to be okay with saying he has that), or if the possible multiple personality is a side effect of the elixir? I honestly cannot tell. I know that probably makes me look insanely stupid, but BPD is something I’ve never looked into, and the few times I’ve seen it portrayed in various media, there’s always been a huge fuss over how its portrayed wrongly (like a lot of other mental health issues are).

Besides that, I loved every interaction with Saeran/Ray ;;;; I loved the calls, the messages, and it was always so difficult trying to purposely be mean to him. Orz Saeran is a heavy bias for me, so I loved all the content we got with him in this route. Him liking plants, researching flower meanings, the small details about everything he went through as a child (besides it being vague), the fuckcing emojis… I l ov ed. When day 10 happened, I died so much inside. I’m almost tempted to try writing a few fics (that are not….smut) dealing with Saeran and those moments. My fucking heart hurts too much ;;;;

I could gush about him for a while, so I’m going to take a hard lean to move onto trying to talk about my thoughts with the plot now, and then try to wrap this up! I’ve been trying to write this out for the past few days and failing miserably due to work.

I fully went into this game expecting this to be an AU (I mean...it is, right?), that a lot of the new details we learn about the characters are still canon, but it’s an AU because this wasn’t how they originally wanted the game to play out. (Does this make sense?) So, Zen having an old computer and being a doof when it comes to technology, Yoosung never getting therapy and drinking to deal with his feelings of Rika’s death, Jumin…………….being the same showing more interest in the supernatural, Jaehee being fully trusted as being the head of an intelligence unit- etc etc, all of that can be taken as canon!….Right?

(T_T I’ve never tried explaining it, but I’m sure you guys understand what I mean by that!)

Anyway, keeping that in mind and how this is nearly two years before we meet the gang in a more mature-er state (cough Yoosung cough), it was fun finding out more details about the characters that I didn’t expect, or having personal/friend HC’s confirmed!

Besides learning about the characters, we did get to learn more about Mint Eye, which I was thankful for. It was nice seeing how it worked, that they DID have a cleansing process (but apparently only needed to use it twice within the first six months?), what sort of ranking Saeran had, and how Rika was regarded. It seemed pretty big at six months, and I think Rika herself says that it’s been since months since they’ve moved into the building, so it does sort of raise questions again, such as was she getting people into her cult for a while before her ‘death’, the funds she got for it (I’m guessing possibly V’s money? Her parents, adopted or not, didn’t seem to care much about her at all), and so on. Also, since it seemed like there were so many members after the first few months, it’s scary thinking about how big it got after two years. 

And god, did we learn so much about Rika. On one hand, it’s nice seeing more of her backstory, her (delusional) reasoning for making a cult and brainwashing a child and many other adults. I really wanted answers, even if it was through some unpleasantness with Rika herself, and I got some of mine answered. I was thankful we could say no to her, as a lot of her actions and some of her excuses for her behavior reminded me of two very horrible people in my life, and it tremendously hurt seeing how much she had Saeran wrapped around her finger. I’ve heard some rumors about what the bad ends are (please don’t tell me!) and if they are true, it means there’s a chance a few sad hcs I had aren’t too far from the reality of the game. Which...Doesn’t make me a happy camper orz But regardless, their relationship worried me a lot, even if we knew he was really ready to do anything for her. Just seeing it just- shudder.

I also actually enjoyed the game showing that mindless devotion towards a partner doesn’t really solve...Everything. I don’t see that often! It was nice, especially since it was showing how they both messed up in the relationship (very much one messed up a shitton more than the other, with stabbing and dropping treatment, b ut it was nice seeing it nonetheless). 

With the plot, even if it could be seen as cheesy or generic, the only time I really felt it was strange was in V’s endings. The Normal ending was didn’t wrap up a lot of things, which you would expect from just a small ending (it was cute, though!!), but the Good ending didn’t really answer my more pressing questions that I had, and the one thing I was annoyingly upset about didn’t get resolved at all, so that kind of bummed me out. I think if you’re a huge fan of V, though, the ending would be good for you! Just the way the wrapped up the route was weird, but since the afterend isn’t out, there’s still a chance of some of my questions being answered in that department!

I’m trying to think of some things that really struck a negative cord in me, but besides what I’ve said, I’ve still really enjoyed this route. I’m upset about Saeran, of course, since he was a bigger fave than V for me, but... It’s not unusual for cults to have members commit suicide. I was moreso expecting a mass suicide, instead of Saeran having to blow up the building and just letting himself die in there rather than escaping like the plan seemed to have been, but...Saeran didn’t have anyone. He didn’t have us, Rika had left and was obsessing more obviously over V, and Mint Eye was in shambles and he was told to blow it up to get rid of the evidence surrounding it. I just really wish V told Seven. c h r i s t.

Regardless, I did enjoy this route. I can’t wait to worm my way through the bad ends, replay it for things I possibly missed before, and to hopefully crank out a few fics for it! Haha, I already have one in my drafts! I wish I could think of some more things to say, but off the top of my head these are just my general thoughts on the route!

Please keep in mind:  This is purely my opinion on the route, and in no way am I trying to force my opinions onto anyone, or am I expecting people to agree fully. We all have different opinions and that's okay! Please don't harass me over any opinion stated in this, as I'm just sharing this for people who are interested and my intention is that and that only. Thanks! 💕

[6ubble-gum]

more tag shit

tagged by @herdustisverypretty hoooo boy lets see if i can put on another shitshow

1. A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind?

OHHH BOY okay....that’s definitely gotta be aokise lmfao I’m very malleable so with all the aokise talk i’ve been having lately i’ve been like SHIT maybe it’s a good ship after all OTL

2. What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? 

Inuyasha probably. I’ve been in the fandom for like....seven years or so? Which doesn’t sound like a lot but I was extremely sheltered as a child lmao

3. Your favourite fandom {for the people, not the thing you spazz over}?

Um...in general I have a negative opinions on fandoms so I really need to think about this one. Let’s go with the small but sweet Galko-chan fandom, and the equally small and equally sweet Tanaka-kun fandom. Both are probably great because there’s not that many people in them so there’s no massive wars over pointless things

4. Are there any fandom popular ships that you don’t like or just don’t get? Alternatively, are there any typically overlooked minor ships that you think are really underappreciated?  (hay this one i made up myself lol)

So many. The first that comes to mind is Soukoku, I’ve never liked the pairing and I can only see them as reluctant friends at the most. For the same fandom I once again admit I’m Chuuatsu trash and I will protect this tiny raft of a ship until I die like??? Anything that would horrify Dazai I am here for honestly

5. What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? 

My first fanfiction was in like, 2012 or 2013 and it was Bad but people back then didn’t know bad things when they saw it so I was fine lmao

6. What’s a popular romantic/sexual ship that you can only ever see as a brotp? (also me!)

Aokaga honestly. People loooove their rival hatesex relationship but I can literally only see them as Best Bros who occasionally punch each other

7. If you had the chance to make your OTP canon, and your NOTP very clearly stated as ‘definitely not canon eVER’, how would you express this in your ‘new canon’? (i’m on a roll)

Now immediately I got the idea of erasing Kuromomo BUT it’s already been established that Kuromomo is not probable in the least soooo I’m gonna have to go with Sasunaru/Inosaku and Sasusaku. I’d make Sasunaru 100% canon and possibly Inosaku too if I could and I would completely erase Sasusaku from existence since I have despised that ship since I was twelve and my distaste for it grows every damn day and I just want it to Leave

8. Which character is Daddy Material? (there’s always at least one, admit it)

Nijimura. Just...Nijimura.

9. Character you relate to and why? (please share all tragic similarities)

Honestly probably Kuroko. I’ve been told by multiple people that I’m extremely difficult to read and I don’t show emotions the way my peers would like me to, and I too am forever salty about the people who have wronged me and will never ever be Over It

10. As either a reader, writer, or both!, what’s your favourite fanfic genre and/or tropes? Are there any you always stay away from?

I love fics with a power imbalance tbh. Like, one half of the OTP is a ruler and the other is a peasant, or one is significantly older or more influential in the social system. There’s so many ways it could go and I really love stuff like that. I typically stay away from coffee/flower shop aus because theyre so common and all seem to play out the same way but, I’ve enjoyed my fair share of them in the past

11. Opinions on omegaverse (in any and all forms, ranging from early spn fics, to the surprising amount of BTS/kpop fics, or have you tried the Japanese manga take on omegaverse - or even…. Life From the Ashes)?

Ohh man. That’s tough. That one x-files fic fucked me up for life so I’m gonna rate that a -10 on a scale of 0-10. It’s messed up in a messed up way and not in an “oh, cool” way. I do however shamelessly enjoy the manga take on it, most of the time. My favorite form of it is the kind that doesn’t include a slough of physical changes, even though it would probably make more sense that way. Idk there’s just something about “man basically becomes woman after presenting as omega” that really rubs me the wrong way lmao

(I’ve filled my quota of tags for the week so I won’t be tagging anyone lmfao I just really wanted to do this one OTL)

[sanzoumon]

Sometimes it gets really annoying when all a fandom seems to care about is OCs and OC x Canon ships. Like fine, enjoy them, idc. It just gets a bit grating to see OC after OC after OC (and not a stones throw worth of difference between so many of them) when you got so much stuff in canon with so much potential to explore. Plot, relationships, ships, angst, etc.

And then sometimes OC content for a fandom gets more popular than stuff having to do with canon characters. Barring shitposts, of course.

Naturally of course my main fandom is best described as "all your super colorful edgy OCs get locked up in prison, hilarity ensues" so of course it attracts people who like making OCs like that. Tho honestly what really grates on the nerves is how many of the OCs are female. It's set in an all-male prison.

Then of course the fandom itself isn't all that big so I'm just kinda over here, doing my own thing. And hoping one day the damn tag will update with some quality content. Also it seems like a lot of the fandom is made up of teenagers- which isn't a bad thing by itself, but this is Tumblr and I don't exactly like most of the teens I come across on here. But at least in this fandom, so far, they're not being whiny bitches. But given that I'm a raging pervert it's kinda hard to talk about things when I know no one else is gonna see it the same way I do. Or most, at least. It also makes for a really depressing lack of smut fic, unless I pay for it. Which I have done.

This is what I get for getting attached to a series written off as fujo-bait. I mean it IS fujo-bait, and I am a fujoshi, but that isn't why I decided to watch it. That's just a bonus.

Although it's not just tumblr. No it's other places too. I just don't feel like naming them. I gotta fucking rely on the Japanese and Chinese fandom for the shit I'm into. Although that seems to be the case for most things these days, dammit. And even then, they're not chalking up to be near as depraved as I thought they'd be. I'm actually pretty disappointed. Also it's hard to search for shit when you don't know the language.

But I'm basically stuck unless it gets a surge in popularity with people more my age who also happen to be perverts, because Goddamn Enki is too beautiful and perfect for me to let go of and I have too many ideas for him. But he's so under appreciated in the Western and Japanese fandoms. Chinese fandom seems to like him pretty well tho, from what I can tell. What gets my goat is how everyone loves Samon so much (which, fair enough) but want to ignore the big chunk of his life that is Enki.

Like at this point I'd take an Everything Is Good And Nothing Hurts AU if it meant seeing Samon with Enki in his life. Or if it meant Enki being acknowledged as someone extremely important to Samon.

Or shit I'd even take some damn AU where Enki and Noriko start dating and Samon gets jealous of Noriko, even tho he loves her as a sister, because Enki starts spending what little free time he has with her now so Samon never gets to see Enki much or hang out with him. And finally Enki notices Samon gets grumpy every time Noriko gets mentioned (which makes Samon feel bad), and he figures out MAYBE he's been neglecting Samon and Samon wishes Enki would want to spend more time with him. So Enki mentions this to Noriko and the sweet girl is 100% understanding because Samon is like a little brother to her and she doesn't want him to be upset with either of them, so she encourages Enki to spend more time with Samon.

And I hate bullshit like that. I'm all about the drama, angst, scandal, taboo, and most of all - smut. But I'll take what I can get my hands on at this point.

Or damn, how about some stuff with Qi and Upa? I'm not NECESSARILY saying it needs to be shippy, not that I wouldn't be into that - because I would, but I'd also kill for content about oh idk Upa swallowing his pride and showing affection to Qi and realizing Qi just cares about him and that's all there is to it? Or, for drama, Upa taking advantage of Qi caring about him in an attempt to deliberately push Qi away?

Ugh idk I'm just in a mood. I guess I'm just used to fandoms thinking up a wider variety of shit to cause me emotional pain and not having to come up with it on my own.

Either way, I'm just in a mood. Pay me no mind.