#like dude are you testing me

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

attempted earth c multilungal meeting

JOHN: okay, everybody. our first meeting has officially started! 

JOHN: i know english, spanish, french, german, some latin, and have a 3 year streak on duolingo! jake, what languages do you know? 

JAKE: Christian latin, modern latin, ancient latin, ancient greek, most european runes, a decent amount of southern american tribal languages…

JOHN: okay, uh. any languages that are alive?

JAKE: Oh yes and the romance languages! How could i forget? 

JOHN: awesome, so two of us know spanish! dave, ¿también hablas español?

DAVE: uh 

DAVE: no sabo 

JOHN: pfft, okay then. davepeta, do you know any languages that aren’t a part of your prototyping?

DAVEPETA: B33 < well yeah

DAVEPETA: B33 < kinda rude to suggest otherwise

JOHN: my bad, my bad. what languages do you know? 

DAVEPETA: B33 < i taught myself dog to impress jade 

JOHN: …uh huh.

DIRK: Can I introduce myself?

JOHN: you taught yourself to watch anime without the subtitles.

DIRK: And?

[certified-anakinfucker]

gonna start firing rent-lowering gunshots but its me walking into a server saying I LOVE THERON and seeing if anything skitters 💀

[bigmammallama5]

u know ur muscles in your calves are Too Tight when your pt guy is digging in and finding all the Actual Muscle Knots that make you want to jump off the table lmao

[compacflt]

I don’t know why, but I totally believe Mav is one of those skincare people. Just look at how he takes care of his body. Anyways, he doesn’t have a multi-step process since he’s busy, but does have a couple good pricey serums. I also think as a retirement gift, Ice got him an appointment to get one of those chemical peels that takes a few weeks to recover from. Okay, that’s it.

agree to very very much disagree. maverick wears hanes t-shirts that you buy in plastic-wrapped counts of 12 for less than $20 and he wears jeans that were on buy-one-get-two-free sale at macys. Sorry. you could not Pay me to believe that man invests in skincare.

imo ice & mav are superhumanly blessed with good skin & good hair. to the extent that they use dollar store shit and are totally fine and never ever see the need for nicer shit. like a neutrogena commercial will play on the tv and they’re clueless. like “who actually needs that stuff? just wash your face once in a while, you’ll be fine” (the same advice they give to middle school/high school Bradley, who finds their advice summarily unhelpful) they have no knowledge of skincare or any of that stuff because they’ve annoyingly never needed it. they’ll put sunscreen on when they go to the beach… but, like, that’s it. they’re just dudes.

[public-trans-it]

Eh fuck it. I'll just make The Discourse Post and just not have it be a fucking text essay.

One of my biggest issues with TME/TMA discourse is how much its based on assigning who is affected by oppression, in ways that are just FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG ACTUALLY.

If your method of analyzing oppression is built on a premise where you if you met the author of "I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out." you would look her directly in the eyes and say "You aren't the target of transmisogyny, actually" then quite frankly... your method of analysis sucks shit.

My OTHER big issue is... every fucking post about it sounds like this fucking tweet tbh.

Yeah, I'm sure that the dickhead looking to curbstomp someone who falls outside of gender norms entering a public restroom, is gonna go "Oh! You are a tranny with LADY PARTS! My mistake!"

[onthejadedjournal]

im done with the exams ...!

NOT

[calico-kiwi]

gave my number out to someone (god i wish i’d come up with a good reason to say no) and reeeaaaaaalllllllyyy wish i hadn’t but wouldn’t dare make the social faux pas of ghosting them because that’s mean and also i see him almost every day of the week

[the-bluestreak-cat]

HR PERSON ANSWER ME I WASTED A DAY WAITING FOR YOUE CALL

[hellsbroadcaster]

Bro I haven’t been out five minutes and I thought I was gonna fight somebody.

[youjustfeelthemforever]

Cried over an English test but hey I'm alive

[shenzi-hemlock]

Do you ever listen to a podcast and you hear some of the coldest takes you’ve ever heard in your life (I’m talking colder than the heat death of the universe) and the little devil on your shoulder says you should start a podcast to just tell these poor souls why they are so disgustingly wrong about every topic they chat about but the little angel on your other shoulder tells you to just move on and hold strong, to not give in to the desire to make a podcast??

Is that just me??

[greekesctasy]

tim really is bruces son because theyre the only two fuckers who upon losing someone incredibly important to them decide the best course of action is bastardization of science and the sanctity of life in order to bring them back, and then carry through with it

[sethdomain]

yesterday i ordered food and the one who drove it explain to me how busy the queue is, the thing is i would cancel if i can, but i cant cancel it as the order is already made in the kitchen.

I explained it to the one who is going to bring my food over n over again that i cannot cancel it bruh and he kept insinuating that i was 'selfish' when i cannot do anything, how tf am i suppose to know the queue was 'busy' and how am i supposed to cancel it when i literally cannot, i'll have to call the hotline that 90% isnt even helpful most of the time. I try to calm the driver down and shit for some reason, idfk what he's been on but brahhhh he still was pissy and shit and i dont want it to be awkward so i offered 5$(it might look low but its like the equiv of 50$ in my country) as a compesation and so he will stop his weird ass pissy episode when i've literally reasoned with him many many times, also i dont want to get my food from a pissed off driver okay? Like i do not like conflict and i do not want to have chances of making a scene with him. you know what sucks?? the wait for the queue isnt even that long it just takes 5-10 minute, literal standard time for every food order. And uhh because iam also pissed off, i might have not tipped them and broke my promise😢

[moregraceful]

kinda eating drywall abt the karlsson trade but it is what it is

i consider it a win in that i didn't lose nick cicek in the trade honestly, which probably says intensely worrisome things about my priorities in the sharks org AND my perception of nick cicek's trade value but. yeah no we got fleeced not only by pittsburgh's most eligible president of hockey ops slash gm AND kent hughes, which is an ego blow on unforeseen and sloppy levels. like my mom could sell me to kyle dubas and i'd be like fine, whatever, but mike grier is a whole ass nhl gm. he should have protective charms in place against that man so i gotta ask. i gotta ask. mikey you good. you good babe??? you need some electrolytes???

congrats to sid crosby for adding another boytoy to his dman harem tho. personally cannot wait to see what happens when karly (mean cat), tanger (evil cat), and gravy (anxious greyhound) get in the same locker room. the sparks...they're flyin

[hikeyzz]

wild that i can be bleeding internally for six weeks and it's just ... fine?? i just keep working like everything is normal?? that's cool. just like, let me know at what point to be really concerned .. i guess?!

[kosher-salt]

Every few years I discover another thing about myself that the nazis would have gassed me for immediately.