#like even by trashfire standards

[thelediz]

Sonic Underground episode 24: Mummy Dearest

I’m watching Sonic Underground in search of inspiration to finish a fic I’ve been writing forever. It’s a sad state of affairs. See the recap of the first three episodes here, if you're interested!

The plot (for want of a better word): One of Sonic’s ancestors was a prophet that predicted the rise and fall of Robotnik! Can the Sonic Underground find the scroll of prophecy and find out how to defeat Robotnik?

Is anyone getting the feeling someone in the writer’s room went to the middle east in this period of the series, or is it just me?

We begin with Sonia showing the boys a toy Cyrus gave her, called an ‘Intelliputer’ and after the whole zombie virus thing Cyrus cooked up last time I am immediately anxious.

It’s a surveillance laptop, basically, with very limited capabilities. Robotnik’s talking about some kind of expedition and finding Aleena, but walks out of frame before they can get actual details. HOWEVER

Also in the control room is an old book with a symbol on it that Sonia recognises as the Royal Hedgehog Crest. So apparently they need the book.

To do this, Sonic brings another new toy from Cyrus: very light SWATbot disguises. They use them to sneak into Robotnik’s headquarters and with toys like this I really have to wonder how the Resistance hasn’t just snuck in and shanked Robotnik in his sleep, I really do.

I know that’s not how kids shows work, don’t @ me.

They get in and would get the book easy does it, except Robotnik himself shows up halfway through the heist and even then, Sonic’s smooth talking (inside a robot disguise) would get them out except that Manic trips and breaks his disguise.

I question Cyrus’s engineering that it broke that easily.

Sonic just BARELY gets them out before the place goes into lockdown. This moment almost has tension to it!

Anyway, the book shows them the scroll of ‘Amun-Rappi’, which is… just… yep. Yep.

Okay, so let’s pause for a second to tell you why this plot point has always made me sigh a lot. Amun-Rappi is an ancestor to the royal family, and a prophet. To the point that he supposedly wrote out a step-by-step guide about how to overthrow Robotnik. They take him very seriously. AND YET no one saw Robotnik coming. No one has followed these steps. And this whole episode will ultimately have no plot relevance. In addition, Amun-Rappi is some weird… like, he looks like a fictionalised pharaoh, but in universe he is treated more like Cassandra of Greek myth. Which is, you know, whatever. The whole Mobius thing is a weird mish-mash of Roman globalisation nonsense so we deal. It’s just… I give SO MANY SIDE-EYES to the royal family for letting Robotnik into the kingdom with this in their history. This episode has stuck with me to the point that it’s kind of how I built up the entire Hedgehog royal family lineage from this one guy as a priest to the not!Egyptian King, whose descendents immigrated to the central kingdom before the Mobian wars that were mentioned in a past episode, but that IS SO MUCH HEADCANON NONSENSE and if I don’t do it, it just makes things messy.

THIS SERIES IS A MESS.

Anyway.

…Sonic is using Manic’s voice this time. Cool. Jaleel, I really think we need to re-record – no, no, you’re right, timing, move on.

The van (including the Sonic Underground) gets eaten by a Dune Worm. Robotnik and Sleet celebrate, while Dingo mourns Sonia. The audience is less concerned, because anyone who saw Pinocchio knows how this goes.

Sonia, who is the one carrying the braincell this episode, decides the best way out of this situation is to force the sandworm’s mouth open a bit (what) to let sand in (WHAT) until it surfaces (…kay) and spits the sand and them out (…uh huh). I mean, there’s logic to it. Not sure it’s my kind of logic, but we roll.

It lets them out in front of the pyramid and… as someone who replayed Assassin’s Creed Odyssey last year, I gotta say… this black, vaguely metallic pyramid… Issu artefact much?

Anyway. They get in through the secret entrance marked by the Royal H (the Hedgehog Crest. Yes, they call it the Royal H), only to immediately get frozen by magic by a… vaguely Jafar looking guy, who is there to protect Amun-Rappi's tomb.

But he recognises the royal hedgehog medallions, so apparently the necklaces have been things in the royal (which Amun-Rappi is not otherwise implied to be, yet) family for centuries.

Sleet and Dingo have been muddling through the other entrances, but catch up just as the guardian is showing the triplets to the main chamber. Remarkably, Sleet actually catches them with some sticky… stuff. But it’s for nothing, because Sonic ultimately breaks free with a superspin and takes the sticky gun thingy off them. The only thing this actually does is let the triplets know a SWATbot patrol is coming after them, so they have to take a shortcut to the burial chamber through two ‘chambers of death’. As you do.

So called, I guess, because there’s no way to disarm the traps without someone risking certain death first, I guess. But that’s what Sonic’s whole deal is, so he overcomes fire and water with only a few jokes and singeing and all is well.

Amun-Rappi was buried in splendour and with guardian souls but with very few treasures, gotta say. But said guardian souls take one look at Sonic, who is the spitting image of his ancestor, and back off. I dunno, I guess they needed to fill twenty additional seconds of the episode or something.

Amun-Rappi appears as a ghost, and demands a song in payment for the scroll, because of course he does.

THE SONG: We are Sonic Underground. Some… weird 90s rap thing that is directly referencing the plot for once and we just… yep. It is what it is.

Amun-Rappi curses Robotnik’s forces with his ‘Curse of Immobility’ while the triplets get away with his scroll of prophecy. But it’s all for nothing, because as soon as they remove it from the glass casing, it falls apart, as parchment is wont to do.

So that was an episode. I make way too much of it for world building purposes. I really shouldn’t, but egh.

Come back tomorrow if you’re interested?

[three--rings]

Okay so I know we're in this big anti-sex cultural moment.

And I know my own personal standards on this issue are way out there. I am a sex first relationship later person. It's just how I roll. So I'm biased.

But I have to say, everyone talks like it's definitely for sure that it was a bad idea for Ed and Stede to have sex when they did.

And honestly, like, I'm not even arguing with that. It was a very understandable time for them to have sex. There should have been some more talking either before or AFTER about how they were both feeling. But it wasn't ideal perhaps.

Still I want to be clear: I don't think them having sex is the fucking problem here.

Ed is overwhelmed and unsure of where he fits right now. He's been through a lot of trauma recently (and caused a lot of course.) So it's understandable why he'd feel unprepared to add sex with Stede on top of it all.

However, they both do very much want to have sex with each other. And when two people are in love and really attracted to each other and really want to have sex, even if they have other reasons why they are holding back from it...well, eventually they're going to have sex. Sooner or later, but probably sooner.

Time in this show is very difficult to gauge, especially this season. So some time has passed between the moonlight scene and the beginning of ep 6. Ed had his leathers back, he's not wearing the bell, things have changed and progressed. It's not the next day. Probably.

We don't get to know how much time it's been or what has been said in between. Ed seems basically in the same place mentally. If not a worse one. Progress is not being made.

It's easy to criticize Stede for initiating a rather aggressive pounce on Ed in the wake of his trauma. But he's clearly not thinking. That's his issue, separate from the question of whether Ed is ready, so I'm not going to get into it. But he does pause, and he looks to Ed for permission, which Ed gives before enthusiastically and passionately joining in.

They both just went through a scary time. They both are seeking comfort in each other. It means sooner comes rather than later in the inevitable 'they're GOING to fuck' race. I know that sentence is a trashfire but let's move on.

Ed is happy in the morning. He's a little nervous, with the breakfast, but he feels good about dumping his leathers. He's come to a decision. Even after he starts to get nervous after Stede talks about their career, he's mostly fine when they go eat. Relaxed, happy about what happened.

And then all the fame stuff starts and he's fine at first. He talks to Jackie and is fine about it until Jackie is like yeah but you have a problem with your man. He talks to Izzy.

Now he's REALLY done a 180. He doesn't see his desired life and Stede's desired life matching up. Stede apparently doesn't understand Ed and where he's at if he thinks they're going to be pirates together now.

This is the problem. This is what upsets Ed. he spirals for hours. He's running scenarios and coming to negative conclusions. He's not valuable or loveable if he's not Blackbeard. Stede doesn't want him if he doesn't fit into that life. He needs to move on. He is panicked and freaking out.

Then he talks to Stede, after already making the decision to leave and go fishing. Like, let's be clear, he doesn't decide that during their fight. He's decided and signed on. He's just saying goodbye.

It's only then that he brings up the sex. He does throw blame at Stede for it a bit, which I think is mostly fair. But he also isn't accounting for Stede's state of mind at the time. They were both off tilt. But he digs into that, and to me, I think he's using the sex as an excuse.

He didn't have a problem with the sex itself. He was happy in the morning and after. Smiling, smug, cute, loved up, having heart to hearts about mermaids and letters.

It was all the life/identity stuff that crashed in that shifted him. But he doesn't know how to talk about that. He doesn't know how to explain it or be vulnerable about his worst fears and self-worth issues.

So he goes on offense and says hey, actually, this is your fault. He picks the issue he has words for, the only one they've actually talked at all about.

Stede is NOT wrong when he identifies Ed as panicking and wanting to run. Stede is recognizing the behavior from himself.

Just like it's not about Ed wanting to fish, it's not about them going too fast. It's about them not communicating about their deepest needs and desires and fears.

They can have sex or not have sex, if they're not communicating it won't work. They could continue fucking like rabbits and have long talks in between sessions and get really really far. Or do what they've been doing which is NOT having sex and also not communicating which can go on forever and they won't get closer to happy.

I feel like fandom has latched on to this one thing as The Problem, because it's all Ed SAID was a problem. But we have lots of evidence otherwise.

I mean, even the conversation...Ed says it's too fast, Stede is like...okay well we can do whatever. He doesn't get defensive even though he's hurt. But that's not good enough, because that's not actually the problem. But at that point Ed really starts running away.

And they start getting more heated, both being sloppy at expressing themselves. (Stede is unfortunately pretty freaking drunk.)

I think they are both very avoidant personalities when it comes to this kind of thing, this kind of deeply personal conflict. Their anxieties keep them from being honest. And so the sex combined with Stede's killing of a man, and newfound fame, that all became a crisis that forced them to confront these issues. I think ultimately probably for the best, instead of not addressing them.

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

Boneheads Problem With Your Assessment They Want To Make Stolas A Victim Of Blitzo When It's The Other Way Around

The problem is that his mistakes are treated as a blimp instead of giving him a full wake up call. He instead is babied and say his big issues are just not real or self-realization that doesn't understand the full extent. Oh my gosh, when will the babying never end and when will these braindead followers realize it. No, even if you were sheltered you still are responsible for your actions if you cross the line. And Stolas crossed several times and needed to be called out. And again like Blitzo he needs to realize he can't expect to have his apology accepted easily. Sorry, but these boneheads are so hooked on what bs this show is selling the can't see it for the trashfire it is. Seriously, they say he realizes how wrong, but in my opinion he doesn't and he still making everything about himself and not what Blitzo wants and he's a selfish prick for it. The blame is obvious when the narrative shits on Blitzo more than it ever does for Stolas who is babied and you don't realize because you yourselves baby him. The double standards are there but you guys don't want to see it.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #17

17. MALTA Sarah Bonnici - "Loop" 35th place

Decade Ranking: 64/153 [Above Hooverphonic, below RAFAL]

TAKE A VIDEO, WATCH IT ON LoOOOoOoOOOP~

Officer, I'd like to report a robbery. Because THIS is not a last placer in Eurovision, are you fucking shitting me. Who the hell sees that performance and thinks "well this is obviously worse than Albania"?

Granted, Honeypie's struggle to climb off the bottom was always a steep one, long before Christer put the finale stake in her heart by having her open the strong semi. Malta's selection was the expected unwatcheable shitshow (amazing that somehow, Lux, Denmark AND Germany all managed to be worse) and it was a small miracle they picked something decent.

In this case the "decent" entry was shallow slutpop - LOOK I KNOW that term offends some people (get a life) but, that's what Loop was ok?! An anthem for the manwhores (or in my case, wannabe manwhores, in fact de facto hermits with a crippling fear of rejection) to be their salacious slaggy selves to. It's trashy and fun and as shallow as a puddle, which is how I like to see myself as. Under the guidance of Malta's lavish budget, "Loop" then blossomed into a budget SloMo and was the unexpected, but deserved winner of MESC.

(and she aborted that afterbirth Satan Banan in the process thank Mother Teresa for that)

Of course, "Being A SloMo" always comes with diminishing returns since the original holds such massive standards. Chanel to this day has the best live execution of a flirty girlbop. (evidenced by her clowining on Eleni during the opener of semi 1 ♥) "Budget SloMo" is going to struggle even harder than a regular clone with the powercreep, along with the Maltese flag, ALONG with the garbage R/O based on assumptions and betting odds (isn't it time we return to FULLY RANDOMIZED R/Os?) and along with the myriad of girlbops in the 2nd semi, most of which weren't outright trashfires.

However, despite "Loop"s many flaws, Sarah was always a shining beacon of grace and slaytitude. No matter what you think about the song (it's fine), that woman KNOWS how to put on a show, and that's precisely she did.

SARAH

FUCKING

SERVED

HUNTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Seriously, Aiko was good, but a lot of that the surprise factor of her discovering her newfound talent of breath control. I knew Sarah was good going into the semi, and she promptly proved that yes, all the diva's were born as a human beings. She was drawfucked, and that all it was, rly. (at least compared to Nutsa who had a similar package and a worse song). Sarah's✨ ditzy personality ✨ really shone through as she queened her way through her quartet of meatsack himbots.

(speaking of ditzy omg remember when all the dystopian joost shit went down on friday and sarah innocently announced amongst the confusion she had an IMPORTANT UPDATE TO MAKE AT 18:00, and it was her NEW SINGLE "Lose", ♥♥♥ every twitter dummy jumped to the conclusion that she was the 11th placer because her live had just been THAT GOOD ♥ and ofc she won the semi because she got to move on from eurovision 2024 fewer than 24 hours after her elimination, while the losers of the semi such as nemo contemplated quitting altogether. Slay, sister. 💋 )

"Loop" was also one of the rare instances of Malta nailing staging. I say rare and I mean it. Name two more examples? It's just both Ira 1.0 and Michaela, am I misremembering? Copy your homework from Chanel and you'll be good, lol.

So yeah, she came last in the semi. An NQ I can live with, but last is... unfair but hey, SHE WASN'T A DEMON OR A NUDIST or whatever the equivalent for semi 2 was (a traumatized zoomer monsterclown or a zionist nepobitch?). It's certainly was no help that Malta somehow decided to designate A DANCE BREAK (I initially wrote "the dance break" but lbr, Loop has at least five of them ♥) as the recap footage (pro-tip: the audience doesn't tune in for dance routines, but for the songs around them), but everything else was.. good? Vocals, act, even the song after a few retouches? There's obviously a ceiling to how high I can carry a "Loop", because it was never an actually good song, just a very fun empty vessel for Sarah to fill with her Ditzy Diva Deva personality. This spot (17th) is that ceiling.

For I recognize what "Loop" truly was.

The best NQ of the 2024.

THE RANKING

And that's indeed ALL of the NQs of the year eliminated before the verdant green (strong like) tier! I believe it's the first time that's happened since I started ranking ESC on tumblr? (it might be the first time ever ~ usually someone excellent is robbed). Hooray for (mostly) correct eliminations? And we have one more finalist to eliminate before we get there.

[metawatts]

My favourite part of the movie is when they arrive at 'The Docks', and Blake and Weiss comment on how they now understand why Batman is the way he is and why he wanted to get away from Gotham because of how bad it looks. All while their surroundings look as generic and vaguely futuristic as most of RWBY's 'normal' environments. I get that they didn't want to waste budget on making Gotham look like a gothic, depressing cancer of a city; but then maybe don't have characters talk about the environment that clearly isn't there?

No this was so funny/infuriating because the docks of Gotham in this film literally look like downtown Vale just slightly overcast. It reminds me of some of the problems people get when adapting Batman, such as The Dark Knight trilogy basically having Gotham look generally normal, meanwhle the animated series and the recent Battinsom film actually looked like a capitalist ubergoth nightmare neck deep in corruption and lead poisoning built on top of like, a half dozen Miscellaneous Evils with room for sewer cults, a lazarus pit, and probably an emo cthulu somewhere down there. And the worst thing?

Instead we get Blake literally seeing a copy of the city she went to college-school at and going 'oh wow this place is a trashfire'.

And it didn't even look that bad? I mean- it was just your standard warehouse district/docklands, surprisingly underpopulated by workers, but what have you. I guess we can't all grow up in a mansion on a tropical paradise island.

But yeah Blake and her Privileged Bullshittery was unironically the worst part of this movie unquestionably (Yang came in at a close second it's pretty neck and neck). At least Weiss got some sort of cosmic comeuppance for a minute with having to deal with no powers, the most interesting a rwby character's been in yonks. Blake just sucks now.

And another final thing this is the last thing for real: hilarious how they 'don't want to waste budget' but then made models for Joker and Harley, just saying.

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Screaming again don't mind me, just I usually realise the tags are going to be trashfires but I went to bed before the inciting incident last night and oh boy are my blocked tags insufficient huh.

This should be taken in the context of I've had a long week, I'm literally ill, and I just want thoughts out my head so I can enjoy the streams tonight please thank you love you all <3

I'm sat here like on the one hand Sunny being upset about last night is COMPLETELY legit. Like I think I know where Philza was coming from - Tubbo and Slime both respawn when killed, which 'real' eggs don't - but many of the words he said while his usual teasing were out of line, especially when Tubbo wasn't there to defend himself. And like a kid isn't going to see that so fine its cool if I thought it was ever going to get resolved yeah no perfect sense here. And even with that logic in mind it's a fucking dick thing to say. There were only bad answers. It was a question designed to have only bad answers. The least bad answer was probably honestly Trump as not only is he dead all his parents are too, but that suuuucks.

On the other hand, I know where this started and what it started with is with ccPhilza's tone of voice and phrasing (because those are the same as qPhilza's in many of the instances), and I do not think it was ever appropriate to have this come up as a thing in the first place. I don't care about the IC-ness or whatever right now, I mean pure simple if this should ever have been a plot point in the first place. And the longer it goes on without anyone fucking telling Phil so he can fix it the more certain I am it was a fucking awful move that never should have started - and if Sunny didn't already think Phil hated her, maybe this would be more interesting! The whole thing with the Tubbo and Gegg.

Anyway point. QSMP is supposed to be about cultural exchange and communication over differences and language and stuff, but what's being done here is reinforcing genuinely harmful with real life consequences stereotypes about English Northerners - the sorts of which have things like people being put on blacklists by their own home insurance providers due to being 'difficult customers', and having the cops called on them for 'being aggressive' when they said fuck a bit and laughed too loud, and being failed in class for talking wrong, and I just... The one thing from last night is completely legit. That's entirely and perfectly legit and all that, but the fact is it's not in isolation and whether intentionally or not every time Sunny and Philza are in a room together no matter what I blacklist if I look in the tags for my primary PoV it becomes a fucktonne of classist microagressions.

And like ccPhilza may well be fine with it! And that's cool and all! (Though I'm honestly not convinced he's entirely aware ooc Sunny's afraid of him) But much like any of these things, it's not /only/ the cc who stands to be hurt by it.

Which is to say I think Sunny's admin is a good roleplayer but not so good at being an NPC and is - probably accidentally, and only in a minor way god knows the rest of the media joins in - contributing to genuine and actual harm with their choices here. Calling Philza aggressive or scary based on his accent, phrasing, and tone of voice (and like this is outside of last night - this is how it /started/ not where it is now) is in a similar if smaller vein to saying the French players are stuck up, entitled, prissy, flirtatious, etc for having French accents. Or the Mexicans are stupid for their accents. And when he's the only northerner and he genuinely isn't being aggressive when he's being accused of it it's... uncomfy. ESPECIALLY as it's not from another player, it's from a fucking admin('s character) who should be being held to a higher standard on shit like this as the admin's are part of the organisation team.

It'd be less bad if there were more regularly playing northerners, or if tubbo wasn't a southerner, or if she was afraid and people were yelling about her being afraid of other characters too, but it's /so/ noticably Philza.

And it's not intentional, there's very little chance it's intentional, but it's still why I have to put on a fake accent to call the DWP else I get blacklisted and treated significantly worse. One time I rang up, usual accent, after 40 minutes of being bounced around was told no. Rang back, spoke to someone else, put on my other accent, was treated significantly nicer and got told yes. And this shit happens regularly in my life. Northern is more natural to me but I can also do southern. And my sort of northern is considered more acceptable than ccPhil's!

I don't really want to talk about it, I just want to scream.

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

small things on my second (third?) unsleeping city rewatch, pt 1

truly nothing compares to that first episode. I've never seen characters and a world so deftly introduced in such a perfect tone, setting up so much of the reveals down the line in everyone's first goddamn scene

I ADORE Margaret Encino, I really do. I still think that TUC1's Pete is my favourite Ally character of all time. Watching him stubbornly refuse to accept that this is not just a bad trip is so good, and honestly good on them for introducing their character with a fake name to half the party and keeping that going literally until Brennan forced them to drop it. They're playing the trust issues so well and it bringes such a fantastic crunchy tension to the group dynamic, bless them for going so hard on this character

the dynamics on the right side of the table have my entire heart:

Ally still being occasionally overwhelmed and Murph hovering at their shoulder like an excited dad teaching his kid to drive

the brutal and beautiful clash between Misty's and Kug's vibes at all times

whenever Pete is doing anything blatantly illegal and Kug the character is taken over fully by Brian 'Lawful Good' Murphy the person. It'll always be Ally doing their scene and Murph being So Scandalised beside them

Siobhan and Murph low-key egging each other on whenever it's about playing the Party Elders

"Do you want me to roll for you?" "Yes, I do, actually! I might make Siobhan my designated roller."

Siobhan and Ally just absolutely shattering at the Wally reveal

honestly so in love with how endlessly polite Ally and Murph are about trading their dice back and forth, every combat there's just a pleasant background chatter of "here you go" "oh thank you" "you're welcome", it's a very small thing but it's so pleasant to see

all three of them being SO nosy and sympathetic about each other's rolls

.

god I love the Pixie wedding so much. The atmosphere, the endless Godfather references, the massively creepy intro to Robert and co, the silly dancing, poor Sofia struggling hard (and Murph and Ally commiserating even harder), "It's my special day so, if you're gonna cry, you should leave", Ally's face when Robert mentions the bubbles, the absolute perfect suspense move of casually going "Kugrash you know this guy" when even Misty didn't, it's all SO good

honestly the perfect episode maybe?

Zac, Murph and Emily's reaction to La Gran Gata is so funny. They're truly The Most Cat People

also Murph's long-suffering but extremely fond "...always needs a familiar"

Emily and Murph are SO tuned specifically into each other all season (can't help but suspect this is a natural consequence of the seating arrangement tbh), but narratively it makes so much sense! Kug was Sofia's intro to the Unsleeping City so she turns to him for everything, and he knew exactly how miserably she was doing and how new this is for her so he's looking out for her and trying to cheer her up in his trashfire ways (and also probably feels some kinda way about seeing someone so shattered by their husband's abandonment). This friendship forever and always

I'm outspoken absolute trash for Sofia and Kug, but the first Dream Team's party dynamic overall is probably my favourite ever party dynamic. There's so much respect and admiration and history and mistrust and fondness and protectiveness and perfectly calibrated power imbalances in terms of knowledge of the word vs. actual magical power, every two characters together have individual conflicts and connections and dynamics, it's just. Perfect.

"Hey Pete, I... bless you with the blessings of um, uh... some pidgeons who died... near a church..."

coming from Twilight Sanctorum where Murph was on an unreal lucky streak for his standards, seeing Kug and his abysmal rolls is truly so funny

given that this is the season that spawned "I'm all the bad guys", I always forget how benevolent a DM Brennan is in TUC. Like, Zac is rolling badly in Ricky's first real talk with Esther? No dude you were funny, take some inspiration (is this literally the only time Brennan gives inspiration on D20???). Emily is disappointed when she doesn't find cool shit in the Bodega? No, you just saved the cat, it's giving you advantage!

the whole weird sexual energy happening between Sofia and La Gran Gata, special shout-out to Murph's face when Sofia says "I'll be waiting, but not in an impatient, desperate way" and "You are not the first woman to turn to a cat when her marriage has fallen apart"

Ricky, Ox and Kug the busted mutt having a jogging sesh will never not be funny, "It's fine, fuck me, go! You stupid kid! You goddamn beautiful boy, you fucker! You absolute asshole!"

"Animal control has decended on you"

Ricky being canonically too hot to stealth

"Just another perfect day for the luckiest, hottest man in New York"

Ricky's selfies and texts to Esther, my beloved

"Misty goes in, word-perfect, note-perfect-" "Please roll low, please roll low..." and Murph's absolute delight at someone else rolling a nat three

Misty and Alyssa tho. Siobhan is ice-cold. "No, I know you're sorry." "This will never happen again -" "No, it won't."

Kug in David's home, just. That whole scene. Crushing. The letter?? Everyone around the table bracing for impact before Kug even opens it. "I leave the letter... because I'll remember it."

we all know this, but Kingston and Liz's talk at the precinct is ICONIC. "Because of you I live in a fucking cartoon now!" lives rent-free in my head

Sofia's tiny meltdown in the drugstore is so funny. Also, her reaction to a random man getting all up in her business is an immediate "Okay! I fight him!" I love her so much

Spaghetti's Bakery, my beloved

The Cry Booth (and half the table cracking up at Pete’s incredibly quick “oh yeah he mistimed the pour over” excuse)

God I love how hateable Priya is. I love nuanced characters a lot but occasionally. You need a villain. Who is just a raging manipulative bitch. For the catharsis

The Talk About Pete?? Incredible. Kingston's devotion gaining such a dangerous edge, like damn, Lou, out the gate with "if things get out of hand, we put him down. Straight up." Kug, searching for a way to explain why he hates this whole situation and landing on just interrupting this extremely serious discussion by yelling "I have kids! I have kids! I fucked up raising my kids!". Misty wanting to lock everyone that bothers her in a cave (it can be a nice cave!). Ricky, the goodest of good beans, pointing out that if they're protecting all of New York, that also means protecting Pete.

All Hail Kug's rat swarms, I love them so much! "Our lives suck anyways!" "We prefer death!" Truly just a LotR girly gifting another some sewer Rohirrim (aka, "sorry i made you play superheroes buddy, can i interest you in some tiny high fantasy dynamic to make it better?")

Brennan revelling in his players outrage will never not be funny

Kingston continues to go so hard, casting heat metal and taking equal damage himself, "What do you say to her?" "Nothing."

the idea of some poor train driver hitting a mounted cop in a subway tunnel

"Live like a rat, die like a rat." !!!

The LOVE for the city radiating off of Brennan and Siobhan in particular is so so sweet

Pete opening the mind link and then just being silent on the line, ultimate power move

god I fucking LOVE this fraught dynamic so much. Always give me groups that have secrets!!!

WALLY AND KUG

just a reminder that Sofia has pictures of Kugrash hugging his son :(

Nod is so fun. The talking cherry tomatoes, the mobsters literally sleeping on the bottom of the river, the dreamworld literally receeding from Kingston, Brennan's mind is just incomprehensible to me

"Ricky, you're gonna get a clue one of these days!" "I know, I think I'm close!"

Siobhan reading The New Colossus!! Also, Emma Lazarus as a Vox Phantasma!

"She's gonna kill you." "Only if she can get here, and I have her goddamn shoes!" God, I love Misty so much, what a pompous little old savage

The Hell scene is SO GOOD though, with the coked-up rat men all scrambling for a finite amount of money!! Murph's "Oh no, this isn't subtle at all!" will always make me crack up. Also can I hear a hell no on the concept of "you weren't so much transformed as made to take the form of your soul"?

Ricky being complimented by the Statue of Liberty

"the danger, of course, is losing the dream in the pursuit of your ability to obtain the dream"

Sofia's (and Emily's tbh) RAGE at the Dale revelation, GOD

also "He's got a job to do on earth! He has deer in the backyard to watch!" Emily!! She cannot keep getting away with this

I really love Pete's evolved wild magic mechanic so much

The Kingston Brown biographical exhibit :(

Goddd Sophie and her brother!! The most tense of scenes!! My love for Sofia knows no bounds

[lavendulachronicler]

I Really Don't Want To Just Follow A Bunch Of People Willy-Nilly Again

The idea in making a tumblr, finally, was to move away from twitter, considering what a trashfire that site is becoming. Maybe promote my writing because I'm actually pretty proud of the stuff I'm working on lately. The problem is I didn't even ever use twitter for posting. Nothing I ever said felt like it'd be worth it. Or cool. Or enjoyable. Even the stuff about my writing I don't know. This all just feels like standard imposter syndrome shit that I just need to work to overcome because closing and reopening twitter every minute and a half is NOT a solution.

I don't know, maybe I'll just port over all my OC notes from Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel and see where that gets me.

[monsterqueers]

Things I wish people would understand-

Nonhuman creatures dont always age at human intervals or speed

Those who age at the human-comparable rate of 1:10 and are 60 years old are in fact 6.

Those who age at 7:1 and are 4 are 28.

The period at which his holds true may not be the same. It could take 30 years to reach ‘adulthood’ but only 5 to complete the rest of their life cycle, or the exact opposite.

Immortals are a whole other sack of weasels depending on if their cognitive age DOES progress chronologically or partially-chronologically or if it adheres to their brain’s physiology.

Please understand that frequently the details are not stated canon, for example ‘Bleach’ never explains the rate at which shinigami age or if its different for different people. FANON tends to use 1:10.

Please dont confuse popular fanon for canon.

Please DO understand people might not have the same headcanons regarding the ‘age’ of nonhumans with different lifespans or probably different lifespans

[lady-of-lyon]

HEY ASSHOLES! Some shit’s apparently going down in this lovely trashfire of a community, and I think I should address it, so you guys don’t eat yourselves. As for the people not in this fandom, I guess it’s good advice too!

If someone says a word you do not like, be it a slur or insult of any kind, and it’s not in an inherently malicious context, maybe don’t immediately assume that they’re being malicious! There is a chance that they just do not know what that word means.

Especially on the internet, it’s tricky to sort out someone’s intent, so you cannot just label this as evil or blah blah blah. There are any number of reasons a person might not know the meaning of a word! For instance:

English might not be their first language, so they don’t know what they say. English is a brutally difficult language to learn, and you can’t expect everyone to know the meaning of every word, let alone the social connotations of it! And if you aren’t willing to accept that non-native english speakers can’t pick up on linguistic nuances as fast as you can, my guy, do I have bad news for you: you’re being pretty racist.

They could be a minor, who has not yet gotten the chance to learn about the badness of certain words. You especially have to take this into consideration on the internet, where nobody knows anybody’s true ages. It seems to be a particular problem in the Wild Kratts server for adults to accept that they share a space with children, and act appropriately. THEY ARE NOT ALL GROWNUPS WHO SAVY WITH THE SOCIAL NORMS OF EVERY SPACE AND COMMUNITY, SO MAYBE DON’T LABEL THEM AS BAD PEOPLE MUST BECAUSE THEY DON’T MEET YOUR GROWN UP STANDARDS.

Even if they are native english speakers AND adults, there is also still the chance that they just don’t know! Hell, I probably have a better vocabulary than 99% of the people in this fandom, and I am still surprised by words I thought were ok or bad that weren’t!

So what is someone to do??

You have to educate, not antagonize. Reach out, and kindly correct their mistake. Don’t immediately dive into a cancel campaign, because that can be so much more harmful to a person than slipping up and saying the wrong word. In a world where there are large groups actively trying to destroy our communities, what the hell is the point of scrutinizing someone over a simple mistake? We need to stand together, and offer kindness and forgiveness, because that is the way we won’t be torn down. If there’s nothing but infighting in marginalized groups, we’ll be giving the other side exactly what they want. So chill tf out, and stop harassing people over nothing. I can promise you, you’re not protecting anyone.

[lex-munro]

[Glitter on the Wet Streets: Part 1] Shiver Stop Shivering

In another corner of the multiverse, the spell-triggered incursion happened a different way… Eddie went to New York, saved Aunt May, got dumped for some Bambi-eyed kid, and ended up playing the roles of chaperone and mascot for said kid and his two misfit pals. A year later, the timeline is trying to get itself back to something resembling its cousins.

This is Chapter 1 of probably about 12 (I couldn’t tell you, because I am trash who can’t stick to a plan) of a Venom/MCU fic about the kids having adopted Human Trashfire Eddie Brock. Massive canon divergence, lol. Let’s have a rich MJ, the Hawkeye series set a year later instead of in the same year as NWH, some implied Loki shenanigans that lead to the trio taking a gap year working at a small-time newspaper.

I originally pictured Oscar Isaac as Rafael, but he nailed Moon Knight so well that I can’t picture him as anyone else in the MCU. So let’s go with Pedro Pascal, if you need a mental image.

Warnings: Canon divergent based on the MCU. Discussion of abusive relationships (both romantic and platonic) and recovery from abuse. Giant cats. Modern YouTube references. The Scheming Writers Club™ is inspired by my coworkers. Ensemble background OCs. Language: PG-13 (primetime tv plus s***, f***, and g**damn).

Pairing: None for this chapter, just background Peter/MJ and background Happy/May with past Eddie/Venom.

Timeline: A year after the events of No Way Home, but concurrent with the events of Hawkeye (told you it was canon divergent).

Disclaimer: I doesn’t owns the movies or the characters. Or the assorted objects of pop culture reference.

Shiver Stop Shivering

“I’m just saying,” Madison drawls as she waves the onion from her cocktail through the air. “It’s almost a year since your ex left, and six full months since you met Rafael, and he is so into you—”

“Oh my God,” Eddie groans.

“Super into you,” confirms Julio. “It’s sickeningly sweet. Even my má knows the saga of you two not really dating, and she’s never met either of you. She says it’s better than a telenovela.”

“That’s how much we all yap about you lovebirds,” Tanya agrees.

Eddie presses his palms together in a pleading pose and begs, “Guys, please, no matchmaking.”

“At the very least, bone the guy. The sexual tension is really starting to get unnerving. You said it was two bad break-ups of long-terms in a row—so maybe try something less committed.”

He feels his good-humored smile slip. “Yeah, nah, I’m…I’m not really wired that way. I need long-term.”

“Okay, so long-term him! Rafa likes all your dumb little quirks, and he’s a fan of your reporting, and he smiles like a fool when you start off on one of your righteous tangents. Take a chance. Use the Christmas break to plan the perfect first date, then completely scrap that, because it’s guaranteed to go adorably awry.”

“Fine. Hard maybe.”

They laugh and jeer. “That’s not a thing!” Tanya tells him, but they (mercifully) drop the subject.

~*~*~

An hour later, he’s walking home, enjoying the weather (light snow, not too cold or too humid) and thinking about Rafael, with his boy-next-door curls and his caramel skin and his twinkling eyes. Rafa is the first person (of any gender) that his writer pals have shoved at him who isn’t at least ten years younger than Eddie, so that’s a plus. He’s nice, and he’s smart, and when he edits Eddie’s shit, he’s gentle but firm. Also, when he grew a beard in November, he was seriously rocking some big DILF energy.

So yeah, it’s tempting. Real tempting.

But all he can think about is them getting somewhere good and stable, somewhere that makes him think it’s gonna last, and then getting dumped on his ass again for not being good enough. Sometimes it’s genuinely because of something he consciously chose to do, like when he put being right (and the associated ego boost) before Anne’s privacy, but a lot of times it’s either a flimsy excuse or something he can’t (or doesn’t know how to) change about himself.

Before Anne, the standard reason had been that he’s too pushy and takes too many risks. Against all odds, Venom fixed that; his writing team considers him shy and skittish.

It took them three tries to get him to come out drinking with them, but only two weekly hangouts to guess that he was recovering from the Worst Breakup Ever. After that, well…he got a little drunk and weepy and told them about ‘V,’ who was big and brash and impulsive and selfish and immature and amazing. He told them about rough starts and violent disagreements and two not-quite-breakups. He told them how doting V could be, and how V accepted more of his failings than anyone else had, and how V knew him inside and out (he didn’t tell them it was literal, though).

He told them how V had always said Eddie was perfect for him, and that they were meant for each other, and that they belonged together.

He told them how V had taken one look at some sweet little college freshman and just fucking left without a word (he didn’t mention how the kid was Spider-Man, because that would’ve raised some really weird questions).

He didn’t have to tell them that it left him in pieces, because they’d met him in the midst of Scotch-taping himself back together.

Clean up your act, get a job, pretend you know what ‘the Blip’ is, pretend you’re not from another universe where you��re a killer vigilante and a wanted criminal, pretend you know someone—anyone at all—besides three nosy kids and the asshole alien who dumped you for one of them.

He’s honestly always liked his chances here better than back home.

He takes a long breath. This version of New York is a little cleaner than the one he remembers, and a little safer thanks to all the metas running around. Maybe it’s not smart to still be in the habit of wandering through high crime areas like he’ll eat anybody who tries to stab him… But Hell’s Kitchen has sort of adopted him, and he did get saved by Daredevil the one time he got too drunk to defend himself (and boy, did Eddie’s bisexuality reassert itself very loudly when two gang members went flying and he was face-to-amazing-ass with the red-clad hero). Point being: maybe once a month, some kid will jump out and demand cash, then start stammering apologies when he sees it’s Eddie. He gets a lot of ‘sorry, man’ and ‘big fan of your stuff’ and ‘thanks for that piece about water quality in June.’

Anyway, it’s half past seven, so it’s not like he’s out late.

He’s passing an alley that’s darker than most, when a rasping voice says, “Eddie.”

His heart skips, and he stops walking. “Whattaya want, Parker? Your girlfriend got another scoop for me? Usually, she brings it herself, because she’s got the decency to—”

“Peter is asleep,” says the voice in the alley. “We wanted to talk to you, Eddie, and Peter thinks that would be inappropriate.”

Eddie barrels into the darkness and spits out, “You’re goddamn fucking right, it’s inappropriate! What the fuck could you ‘n I possibly have to talk about, huh? You left. All that shit about ‘we’ and ‘us’ and ‘perfect symbiosis,’ and you just fucking—”

“We—I am in love with Peter.”

Eddie makes a wounded sound before he can stop himself. “And why the fuck would I wanna know that?” he asks in a tiny, trembling voice. “You used to say you loved me, that we’d be together forever.”

“I do love you. You are my friend, Eddie—my best friend. And Peter doesn’t love us—me.”

So now Eddie feels put on the spot, like he fuckzoned somebody who was never into him.

Screw that noise—Venom was the one to turn their thing romantic, and Venom was the one to turn it sexual, too.

“Fuck. This isn’t fair, V. You can’t just show up after what you did and expect me to give—what, sympathy? Advice? I have a nice life now. I have a shitty little apartment and a half-decent job where the things I write help people, and a big stupid cuddly cat, and friends who helped me get over you, because it fucking destroyed me when you left. And you think you can just come back into my life like you didn’t completely wreck it, just because now we both know that I was in love with you and you weren’t in love with me, so somehow I’m supposed help you now that you’re in the same boat. Fuck you, V. I hope he keeps you for a nice, long time, so you can have all the fun of being right there and watching him not love you back.”

In the darkness, Venom hisses and says (rather sulkily), “You are a shitty friend, Eddie.”

Eddie feels like he just took a punch to the gut. “Well,” he says, and he doesn’t really care about how wet his eyes are or how shaky his voice still is. “You were a shitty, abusive boyfriend who abandoned me, so you don’t really deserve my friendship. Goodbye, V.”

And he just leaves. He’s not going to give Venom the satisfaction of a fight (he’d lose, even if he didn’t care whether he hurt Peter), and he’s sure as shit not going to be some shoulder to cry on.

He pulls out his phone and shoots a text to MJ.

tell ur bf his roommate has been joyriding while he’s asleep

As he approaches his building, he notices a crowd, and a strange light and—

Great. The fucking building is on fire.

“Eddie! Oh, che fortuna!”

The plump little nonna from the floor above waddles over with his stupid giant fluffy black cat. The damn thing is almost as big as she is.

“Mrs. DiPazzi, what happened?”

“Those tracksuit ragazzi showed up and started throwing Molotov cocktails at the loft next door! I thought they learned their lesson when Ronin was here after the Snap, but I guess they’ve forgotten what fear is. I hope one of those nice superheroes comes to teach them some manners. Here—Snowflake came to get me, grazie a Dio. I might not have known anything was wrong until I was trapped, and meeting a fireman is not worth the risk at my age.”

Snowflake complacently drapes his furry bulk around Eddie’s shoulders like a thirty-pound purring scarf with very little encouragement from Mrs. DiPazzi.

“What would I even do with a big strapping fireman—eh, Snowflake? Yes, such a good boy, saving my life like that… Oh, bene, my son is finally here! Take care of yourself, Eddie.”

“You too, Mrs. DiPazzi.” His phone buzzes.

MJ wow rude. did he do that 2 u 2?

He snorts.

prob so my apartment is currently burning down

His phone actually rings.

MJ would like you to join a video call

He snorts and hits the ‘accept’ button.

~“Like, literally on fire or—oh, never mind, it’s on TV.”~ The girl looks vaguely impressed. ~“Bummer. Well, I’ll text you the address.”~

“Address for what?”

~“My place, weeb. My dad’s out of town anyway, and your place is on fire.”~

“You have a dad? I thought somebody used black magic on a QAnon post and it came to life.”

~“That’s fair. But seriously, how many people do you actually know in our universe? And how many of those would loan out their guest room, indefinitely, for free, to a scruffy guy who occasionally talks to somebody who can’t hear him anymore?”~

“Now you’re just bein’ hurtful.”

~“Also, I want to meet Snowflake in person—hiii, sweeetieeee, pwecious foofy dummy!”~

Snowflake yawns at the phone.

~“Awww, wookit all doze widdle fangies!”~

“Gawd, stop. Thank you for offering me ‘n this big dumb furball a place to crash. We’ll head over soon as we can get a ride.”

~“No worries, dude; it’s Christmas. In fact, y’know, I’m gonna send Aunt May’s boyfriend to come pick you up; he’s gotta come get me for family ice skating anyway.”~

~*~*~

Thirty minutes later, he’s waiting at the corner when a nice black car pulls up.

“You Eddie?” the driver asks.

“That’s me. Sorry I smell like a bar and look like I’ve been crying about my ex in an apartment fire—I was at a bar and then I was crying about my ex when I saw my damn building on fire. This is Snowflake; I promise he’s harmless.”

“I’ve had worse passengers. Hop in, and we’ll get you guys to MJ’s place.”

Which is in fucking Central Park East, eighteen floors up.

“Oh my glob, hewwo fwuffy-wuffy!” MJ coos as soon as she opens the door. She squishes Snowflake’s face between her palms, to the cat’s extremely vocal approval. “Whatta big purr, whatta big purr!”

“You done yet?” Eddie asks.

She’s back to her blank, aloof self in half a second. “You look like shit. When I get back from family skate night with the Parkers and the Starks, we’re eating a gallon of ice cream and not talking about your ex. Lock the door, don’t answer for strangers from other dimensions, yadda yadda. Wifi password is ‘MJ is the Queen of all existence and everyone else is her slave 1.’ Capital Q, no spaces. Cat food and litter will be delivered in twenty minutes, no contact; just go down to the lobby and show them this—your new key card.” It has his name and photo on it, and her apartment number.

“You, uh…you work pretty fast, huh?”

“Double-teamed it with Ned. Benefits of having smart friends whose careers you don’t ruin with hacked emails. I recommend posting the apartment fire on your Insta; I’ll setup a GoFundMe tomorrow.”

And she shoves him into the apartment.

Something catches Snowflake’s attention, and he launches off Eddie’s shoulder—and when a thirty-pound monster of a Maine Coon launches unexpectedly, even a guy like Eddie can end up knocked on his ass.

“Ow, you damn traitor!”

Snowflake has discovered the Christmas tree. He’s just sitting at the bottom, staring up at it.

“Don’t even think about it,” Eddie warns. “Nothin’ll get us kicked out faster than your dumb ass climbing up that tree and wrecking it.”

Snowflake expresses his opinion of the situation with a raucous sneeze, then prances off to lounge in front of the fake fire (because of course the place has a heater shaped like a fucking fireplace).

There’s a note on the coffee table (next to an array of ‘conversation starter’ literature).

Eddie-spaghetti Guest room down the hall to the right, next door to guest bath. Linens and towels are fresh. Leftover vegan lasagna (shut up, I’m trying smthg) in fridge, pop the lid before heating. This remote is for the TV, or you can just talk to Alexa. Back by 10pm, we’ll talk then. MJ

He watches the really depressing news report about the apartment fire. He goes down to get Snowflake’s supplies (there’s even a pack of compostable litter trays, though the sheer size of the cat means it’s wisest to spread them out in a grid). Then he stretches out on the couch and continues his efforts to understand this universe’s YouTube stars. He ends up watching three videos about Victorian clothing, one critiquing the hypothetical efficacy of sexualized costume armor designs, one TikTok compilation about being the awkward oldest friend (it hits very close to home), two vids of humorously misheard lyrics, and has just started his second video of some soothing guy restoring old paintings when MJ gets home (Snowflake surfaces from his explorations to rub up against her knees).

“Julian Baumgartner,” she says approvingly. “High quality ASMR.”

“How was skating?”

“It was okay. Happy and Aunt May were sickeningly adorable. Pepper and Morgan were great, mostly because Morgan is a lot better at skating than the rest of us—literally skated circles around us. Peter was a little weird, even for him; seemed like the roommate was sulking.”

Snowflake seizes his usual spot, loafed on Eddie’s chest and purring (like Venom used to do, in fact).

“Yeah?” Eddie says in a petty tone. “Who cares? Fuck that guy. Selfish asshole…”

She perches on the edge of the coffee table and leans toward him. “Are you okay? Because I kind of thought you were more ‘over him’ than this. Didn’t I hear Julio saying just the other day how you and Rafael were totally on the brink of dating?”

Eddie focuses on petting his giant cat. “I am—we are. Just…when he hijacked Parker earlier, it was to come find me and tell me he’s in love with the kid. And what am I s’posed to do with that, right? ‘Hey, Eddie, I know you’re in love with me, but I’m in love with this other guy who’s younger, smarter, more ethical, and generally just better than you, but he doesn’t feel the same way, so I’m gonna cry to you about it since you’re my best friend.’ Can you believe that shit? Had the fuckin’ nerve to call me his ‘best friend’ after all the shit he’s pulled, all the tantrums, all the times he broke my shit or broke my bones or fixed me up just so he could hurt me again…after he took one look at Parker and just left even though he said we’d be together forever.”

MJ holds out a box of tissues, and Eddie realizes he’s been crying. He takes a handful and blows his nose, and his dumb cat puts a giant fuzzy paw on his face in a boop so epic it should be conveyed in all caps.

“You have kinda crappy taste in boyfriends,” says MJ. “But you have pretty good taste in cats. I’m gonna go get the ice cream and some spoons, and we’re gonna marathon some Nailed It International. The Mexican version is especially wholesome.”

.End.

[thelediz]

Sonic Underground 08: Tangled Webs

I’m watching Sonic Underground in search of inspiration to finish a fic I’ve been writing forever. It’s a sad state of affairs. See the recap of the first three episodes here, if you're interested!

The plot (for want of a better word): Sonic’s old friend Cyrus has turned traitor, hoping to exchange the Sonic Underground to save his father from Robotnik’s evil clutches! Will the Sonic Underground escape, and can they turn Sonic’s oldest friend back to the side of good?

I mean, of course they will, but lean into the drama for me a little, will you?

The first words are “Learning to trust” and I am already bracing myself because I just KNOW this is not going to be resolved satisfactorily.

Also we just had an episode about someone who can’t trust their own inventions and father like two episodes ago, so um…

Hey! The first glimpse we get of the Sonic Underground’s underworld bars. These are surprisingly common and apparently Sonic likes hanging out in them.

ALSO. QUEEN ALEENA SIGHTING. I CANNOT GET A CLEAR SHOT DUE TO MY OLD AND COMPRESSED VIDEO BUT APPARENTLY THE QUEEN ALSO HANGS OUT IN SEEDY BARS.

Cyrus! Cyrus always has terrible animation, but that’s because he’s on this show. I love Cyrus for the same reason I love all the Sonic Underground recurring OCs: he’s such a gold mine for interpretation, and absolutely nothing in his actual canon material.

And a quick scene between Robotnik and Sleet that is one of the reasons I love Sleet as a character. You might remember from early episodes that Sleet and Dingo are self-employed mercenaries that have been forced to work for Robotnik. Left to his own devices, Sleet is remarkably crafty and probably quite effective, but he will always echo Robotnik’s orders, and that makes him sloppy. This will continually bite him. It’s such a nice detail.

Yet another example of smiles in a supposedly stressful scene, and of Sonia trying to ‘stick to the plan’ while Sonic’s being irresponsible (waylaid by Cyrus) and Manic isn’t listening. Because Sonia is the Perfect Freedom Fighter, just ask the writers.

Hedgehogs aren’t rodents, Sleet.

Seriously, the animation this episode is atrocious.

Sonia’s superstrength! Counter +1

And Sonic effortlessly destroys the factory on his own. Why do we have his siblings in this show?

…so in this episode, Sonic is supposedly learning that “there is something to this plan stuff”. He will occasionally remember this, but only if it helps Manic look bad, but mostly he will remain an improvisor. It’s… tiring, if only because—as proven BY THIS EPISODE—Sonic doesn’t need plans! He will always win with or without plans, and most plans only make things unnecessarily harder. IT’S A PLOT HOLE I LIVE IN.

TREVOR. Who is here to introduce Sanctuary, a haven for orphaned kids run by the Resistance that will never be mentioned again.

But I have to say, Sanctuary is one of the reasons I like Cyrus. Because Cyrus ONLY betrays Robotnik when he hears there are kids involved. That’s his moral line – not his old friend, not his loyalty to queen and country, not even hatred of Robotnik, it’s just orphan kids. It seems basic and a very standard moral line, but in context, that gives him some interesting layers that I like to play with.

THE SONG: The Children Light the Way. Oh wow, the ballad about kids. These were so big in the 80s and 90s. This song would have gone off in the charts, you have no idea.

…and like I said, Sonic gets out of this by not sticking to the plan. Narratively, it’s because he’s the hero, but I will absolutely make it out as a plot point, honestly.

And Cyrus loses his dad. And that’s how we end the episode.

No, I say again, we end the episode by acknowledging the loss of a parent. That was so huge at the time and it went completely unacknowledged because this show and this episode are generally such a trashfire.

I so wish this episode had better animation, because if it did this would have been a really good and important episode, showcasing all the things I like about it. Instead, it’s… kind of urexample of everything that this show is: terrible animation, interesting characters, amazing worldbuilding, horrible plotholes.

I love it dearly.

The counters:

Sonic implying less than 100% American heterosexuality: 2

Sonia's super-strength: 2

Sonia's in love with Bartleby: 1/37

Manic's Thievery Is A Problem: 1

Come back tomorrow if you want to know more!

[flashfuture]

Hal’s love life is oftentimes in shambles but Kyle’s burning trashfire of a love life overshadowed it so he seems more love wise than he really is.

Ya know that comment about Kyle’s romantic life post Alex is like...a trashfire because like—here is the tea, for me, Kyle (after Alex) stopped dating someone who was also his friend and just someone who was his lover, and like that’s his issue and why I feel like “well even if Conn and Kyle got together why do you think it wouldn’t blow up in his face?” And like my simple answer is that it’s because Conn and Kyle were friends first, and sure they don’t have everything in common, but they like each other and are best friends, that is a much better foundation for a relationship than what he’s been aiming for, because like I don’t like comparing but Alex was the gold standard and like the biggest difference between her and Kyle’s other ex’s is that she was his friend and PARTNER in life, like...fuck man.

Conn and Kyle have the best friends to lovers arc down pat.

Donna or Jason and Kyle just sitting awkwardly at the Queen’s table, trying not to stare at each other while also not seem too much like they rather deal with the end of the world than be here. Roy and Conn take no joy in their awkwardness (they probs thought the other wasn’t coming and realized all too late) but Kyle has a voice in his head (who sounds like a space Viking he rather not think about) that Ollie is soaking up his unease as if it was candy.

Conn: ya ever...communicate healthly with your boyfriend to flex on your family but like by accident?

Wally: my whole life has been a single mission to be a healthy person to flex on my parents so like go off king.

Kyle will look Ollie straight in the eye and not flinch while he eats his chili, that HC you had that he straight up ate hot sauce for fun as a college student, god he would.

Okay but also Kyle stood no chance in getting good love role models lol. His mom fell in love with a CIA agent who she had to leave to keep Kyle safe. Like Kyle couldn’t even be told real things about their relationship.

John’s wife was killed by a Star Sapphire possessed Carol years before Kyle became a Green Lantern. And then Fatality is John’s other love interest and she is mostly trying to kill John and she’s an assassin/bounty hunter so not a great option lol. 

Guy has had a pretty solid relationship with Tora/Ice. But Tora is obviously mean to be with Bea even if DC are cowards. Plus she doesn’t wanna move to Oa with him or anything so long distance relationships are tough. 

Which means out of that list Kyle would be getting his advice from people who can not keep a relationship. He fits right into those disasters lol. 

Yes it is. See Donna and Kyle knew next to nothing about each other. They just started dating and it fell apart very quickly. Kyle knew Jade very well but they bickered a lot even as friends. It was sort of a case of they lived together and felt like they had to start dating. Jade was always less invested in the relationship than Kyle was. And Soranik is a lesbian more analytical than Kyle and Kyle made some weird choices but yeah def not meant to be. 

So Kyle really needs to find someone who’s on the same footing as him. And the best way to do that is for certain to date a friend. 

Ollie just looking smugly at Kyle as he starts to freak out. But it takes one awkward shift from Roy and Ollie’s dad instincts kick in so he takes the attention off his kid. 

Wally said that by the age of 9 his parents had convinced him hope wasn’t a real thing. So like Wally flexing on his parents by being a well-adjusted happy man is actually something that can be so personal. 

Kyle feeling conflicted because on one hand he loves teasing Ollie on the other his chili is so fucking good he needs to know how to make this. Also I think after Hal is back they’d just have a generally still teasing but not hostile relationship. So like people think they still hold grudges but its all in good fun

[drivingsideways]

Alright, ok, oh wow, HOOOO BOYYYY. 

Episode 64!!! 

Summary: AN ENTIRE TRASHFIRE. 

How do I start? Every time I think show has hit rock bottom, they just smash through the floor and keep going. 

-I don’t know who can argue that the Emperor is acting ethically. WHO. There are two possible explanations to the positions the Emperor and Empress have taken re: Huirou

(a) The entire scandal would rock the court, and given that the Emperor is still steadfastly refusing to publicly name an heir (though privately his mind is made up),  the political fall out would be immense, and supremely inconvenient to the Emperor 

This is the guy who despite knowing he’s fucking dying won’t settle the succession issue because he still thinks his weak-ass body will produce an imperial son. In  the conversation he has with Fu Bi, he points out that if he does appoint someone from the Imperial Clan but later has his own son, things would be worse. 

[Or, you know, you could stop taking young and fertile women into your bed? THE HORROR OF THAT CONCEPT, OH NO, IMPOSSIBLE. WHAT IS CONTRACEPTION.  WHAT IS ABSTINENCE. (don’t @ me techniques of contraception are historical, ffs)]

Basically, the desire to have a hypothetical biological heir to succeed him trumps his moral obligation to protect his real, live daughter. And somehow this is presented as a “non choice” in the drama that we’re supposed to agree with, or rather that it is still a “reasonable” and “justified” choice. No, it fucking isn’t. It’s one thing to keep hoping for an heir when you are 30 and healthy, it’s another when you are 50+ and dying. 

If Renzong had just made the choice to announce his heir, even with some remonstrances and whatever shit, he would have absolutely gotten away with getting Huirou out of the marriage, because he’d have given the majority of the court what they really wanted, and Sima Guang would have screamed for a bit and then had to shut up. 

(b) They could have left it at the above - i.e. it’s a political decision rather than a personal one and he would personally rather have annulled the marriage-  and I might have still have rolled my eyes and just moved on; HOWEVER. 

The drama makes it explicitly clear that HE DOESN’T THINK SHE’S BEEN WRONGED. EXPLICIT AS IN THESE ARE THE WORDS COMING OUT OF HIS FUCKING MOUTH TO HE’ER WHO’S COME TO BEG HIM TO SEND LI WEI AWAY SO THAT HUIROU WON’T HAVE TO GO BACK.

It’s a request that apparently offends HIS sense of justice!!!! His refusal to punish Li Wei is not just about political considerations, but because: 

(HE’ER’s FACE!!!)

OH REALLY.

SO MUCH WOW. MUCH AMAZE.

MY ETHICAL AND INFALLIBLE RENZONG WHO’S BEEN PUT TO SO MUCH TROUBLE BY A ‘STUBBORN’ DAUGHTER. 

Like, I honestly think the show could have left this entire thing as “political compulsions” and made it about his clash with his court. But no, they have him explicitly acknowledge that he doesn’t think Huirou should have any autonomy over her body, i.e. she is the property of the Li clan to do as they will, and we, as the audience are still supposed to sympathize with him, rather than Huirou? Still see him, with his victim-blaming, shaming rhetoric aimed at his own flesh and blood as ETHICAL AND JUST?????? 

WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCK. 

And now, also, because I still have MAJOR ISSUES WITH IT, let’s circle around to Fucklord and Danshu.

In one of the early episodes, he tells Maoze that he doesn’t want to “force” his legal wife to be with him i.e. he won’t force a consummation. I bet a lot of us went (oh!!! what a good dude!!! How sweet!!!(though god, like, what standards we have, huh???)

And then, 15 years later in the show’s time frame, that consummation happens when he gets into an argument with Danshu, and then, in a rage, uses his physical power to overpower her resistance. (Let’s not even get into how he’s the fucking Emperor, she has to obey, even if there had been no physical violence!)

Now you tell me: which is the real Renzong- the one in the first episode or the one the second? 

Was the first refusal on principle of “i don’t want to violate my wife’s consent because that would be a violation of personhood” or was it, in hindsight, “I want her to crawl to me, I will not be the one to beg her forgiveness for the insult i offered her on our wedding night”.

Because, you see, at some point in those 15 years, he ran out of “patience” and then acted on (what we guessed before and now explicitly stated in episode 64) his actual belief: a wife has no entitlement to her own body, she is the property of her husband. 

So, now, those still arguing about how the incident with Danshu was rape or not- not to him, certainly. 

“Oh but Danshu didn’t think of it as rape either!” 

Yes, the show does a huge song and dance about it too, to make it clear to US that Danshu doesn’t see it as rape. (just in case we had any doubts, huh, show? because you knew what you were trying to cover up right, you knew that some people would see that scene and go wait, what???)  I’ll come to Danshu’s attitude a bit later. 

But to us, as the audience? Where should it fall, now that you know without any ambiguity his attitude re: bodily autonomy of women within the institution of marriage?

And finally, let me touch on Danshu vs Huirou in the show, two women who are explicitly unhappy in their marriages, though for different reasons. 

- Danshu’s marriage starts out unhappy because she’s in love with a man who gives no fucks about her.

- In contrast/parallel, Huirou’s marriage is unhappy because she gives no fucks about him, and is actively repulsed by him.

Danshu’s crisis is resolved over a period of nearly two decades and achieved by her entirely subjugating her self to him, including not characterizing his violation of her body as rape. This isn’t even all that strange- if you view it in the context of the whittling down of her self worth by sustained emotional abuse to the point that she cannot even think herself worthy of the very basic respect. Do you know how many women stay in abusive marriages because they end up believing “he abuses me because he loves me”? or a variation “it’s not abuse, it’s love, it’s for my own good”. do you know how many women still continue to love their abusers? do you know how many abusers constantly insist that they love their victims, that their actions are actually out of love too? A WHOLE FUCKING LOT.

 At this point, Danshu’s entire being seems focused only on what can make Renzong happy, what will bring him most comfort, what will make his life easier- and every other relationship, including now, her’s with He’er and Huirou suffers for it. 

I could have even accepted this fate for Danshu’s character- because yes, some women don’t escape their tragedies-  if the writer had shown the SLIGHTEST FUCKING AWARENESS THAT THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE SHOWING. 

But NO, in the most EPIC gaslighting I’ve see in a while, they have continued to insist that Danshu and Renzong are a “romance.” 

Now coming to Huirou- in contrast with what has happened with Danshu, Huirou is still at the point that she’s ABSOLUTELY CONTESTING every attempt to have done to her what was done to Danshu. She sees clearly how her life will be, how her entire being will be destroyed, if she continues to stay in that marriage and she’s fighting for her own life tooth and nail with the only weapon in her arsenal- at this point - self harm and the threat of suicide. Luckily for her, she does have some support in He’er, Huaiji and even the head eunuch in her household, and Superintendent Ren. (Everyone except the Empress, who by rights, should have been on her side, and would have been, if the writers had chosen to take her down a different path early on)

Unfortunately for her, it’s clear where the writers sympathies lie: if they think that what happened with Danshu is the “happy ending”, then how can Huirou have any other ending either? Oh, they might show her sad for a bit to leave Huaiji, but i can bet you anything, that the ending will be framed in such a way that it shows that her final choice to go back to the marriage as the “morally right” one/. If they didn’t it would be inconsistent with the internal logic/moral philosophy of this story. 

I’ve said before- I can accept tragedies. I can accept tragedies that happen to women, even. 

What I can’t accept is when you don’t call it what it is.

Or the kind of writing that equates Renzong’s tragedies- which are largely products of chance (the death of his kids) or his position in life (an emperor who must sacrifice some personal desires in service of his duties)  to the tragedies of the women that are inflicted on them not by chance or circumstance but by the actions of those with more power than them. The writing in the show never, ever, acknowledges the specificity of the harms, and spends a considerable amount of time exonerating its perpetrators (see latest eg Li Wei), and wow, what more can I say except one last -FUCK. YOU. 

[ringmaster-jack]

Mobile Character Stats

Mobile-Friendly character stats below the cut.

Basic Information

Full Name: Jack Arafa

Nickname(s): The Jackal, the Ringleader, Mister Jack, Jack the Ripper, Jack of Spades, Blackjack, Spades, Asshole Piece of Shit, Dad, Jackie, probably a lot of others

Age: 31

Date of Birth: November 24th

Hometown: Various.  Primarily Dawnhold, Demacia

Current Home: The underground catacombs of Zaun

Ethnicity: Demacian/Shuriman mix

Nationality: Zaunite

Gender: Male

Orientation: Bi/Pansexual.

Religion: HAH

Political Affiliation: None.

Occupation: Showman and ringleader of a traveling circus/carnival/freak show.

Living Arrangements: When he’s not traveling for work, he lives with most of his crew in the underground catacombs of Zaun.

Language(s) Spoken: English(equivalent) and French(equivalent).  

Accent: Standard English, USA(equivalent).

—

Physical Appearance

Faceclaim: Toni Mahfud

Hair Colour: Black

Eye Colour:  Ruddy brown, like the color of old dried blood.  Though he’ll often wear contacts to change this.

Height: 6'5"

Weight: 159 lbs.

Build: Tall and lanky, a bit underweight for his height, but with some residual muscle from a previously militant lifestyle.

Tattoos: A spade on each wrist(left red, right black) and a tramp stamp of a scantily dressed pinup model, portraying a demon holding a skull.

Piercings: Three hoops in each ear, going from lobe to helix.  Snakebites.  Others.

Clothing Style: His style varies between relatively classy and presentable to absolutely gaudy trashfire.

Usual Expression: Mischievous, alert.  Smiles a lot.

—

Health

Physical Ailments: He’s physically and psychologically addicted to a variety of drugs, but mostly stimulants.  This results in a near-constant state of sleep deprivation and lack of appetite, which leads to a general decline in overall health.  He’s underweight and probably on the verge of giving himself any number of long term diseases from his lifestyle.  He has a bad knee from an accident when he was a kid and probably more than a few broken ribs and bones that never healed right.

Neurological Conditions: He’s been diagnosed with a multitude of various mental illnesses, though not all of them were necessarily accurate or fully correct.  He most likely suffers from some combination of BPD and PTSD which is co-morbid with ASPD(though this is debatable).  He's hypersexual.

Allergies: Soy.

Sleeping Habits:  He’ll either go days without sleeping and then crash for anywhere between 12-24 hours straight, or have 1 hour naps every other day for weeks on end.  He tends to have insomnia both due to the constant abuse of stimulants and his nature.

Eating Habits: He doesn’t eat nearly as often as he should considering his size.  It’s not something he does consciously, he just tends to forget due to a muted sense of taste and smell.  When he does remember he needs to eat, he doesn’t tend to be picky and will consume just about anything given to him.  

Exercise Habits: There’s no going to the gym or anything like that, but being a showman tends to involve a lot of physical exertion.  

Emotional Stability: Non-existent

Sociability: He’s an extrovert, but not by nature.  It’s something he’s taught himself how to be over the years and perfected for the purpose of survival.  He’d be more comfortable sitting back and reading a good book than he would be talking to someone.

Addictions: Various drugs, mostly stimulants, sex.

Drug Use: Yes.

Alcohol Use: Sometimes.  It’s not his favorite.

—

Personality

Positive Traits: Generous, idealistic, good sense of humor, patient, curious, good at selling things, charming, musically inclined, intelligent, extroverted, humble, courageous, persistent, alert, capable, exciting, insightful, thorough, well-rounded, witty.

Negative Traits: Unreliable, overwhelming, pushy, drug-addicted, violent(at times), sadistic, underhanded, dishonest, manipulative, a con artist, disloyal, unforgiving, no self-discipline, perverted, aloof, destructive, calculating, insincere(at times), melancholy, obsessive, sly, unhealthy.

Goals/Desires: It’s hard to really say what his long-term goals are, he outwardly seems to live in the moment.  He just wants to be happy.

Fears: Someone having control over him, being trapped, being alone, being forgotten.  Heights.

Hobbies: He’s most passionate about music and probably spent some time as a minstrel before he took on his current occupation.  He’s also fond of art and literature.  

Habits: Drugs, collecting things he probably shouldn’t be collecting, making music, doing things he probably shouldn’t be doing.

—

Favorites

Weather: Rain.

Colour: Red.

Music: He has a very eclectic taste in music.

Movies: Horror and comedy.  Preferably combined.

Sport: Bloodsport.

Beverage: Coffee, energy drinks, milk.

Food: Anything greasy or sweet.  Meat.

Animal: Wild dogs.  Jackals specifically.

—

Family

Father: Nkrumah Arafa (deceased)

Mother: Harper Farrowthorne (deceased)

Sibling(s): Tabitha(f, 31, deceased?)(fraternal twin)

Badru(m, 29) and Heqet(f, 29, deceased)(fraternal twins)

Milo(m, 28, deceased)

Seth(m, 25)

Mii(f, 19) and Kes(m, 19)(fraternal twins)

Amani(f, 16) and Amari(f, 16)(identical twins)

Children: 3 illegitimate children.  Possibly more he's unaware of.

Pet(s): He has a menagerie.  Most of his pets would be considered ‘exotic’.  

Family’s Financial Status: He grew up severely impoverished.  Although his mother was born to a wealthy Demacian family, she was disowned and cut off from her inheritance for hooking up with her bodyguard, a Shuriman man that sadly died while on duty shortly after their fourth child was born.  His mother took up prostitution as a means of trying to provide for herself and her family, which ultimately ended up in her baring even more children, with the added misfortune of being rather susceptible to twins.

[golbatgender]

Honestly I have seen that post reblogged by mutuals SO MUCH even though they’re generally progressive and it creeps me out intensely? Like yes absolutely youth is way overvalued in women and someone who consistently seeks out only the barely legal as sexual partners is shifty at best but that doesn’t make “its so gross that people don’t treat adult women like children just because they aren’t children anymore” less of a fucking bonkers statement

I KNOW, RIGHT?

And the solution to people being too immature or vulnerable at 18? Younger legal emancipation, in stages. Full medical autonomy at 16, or younger. Stuff where you have to flex your rights and make decisions, because that’s the only way you become independent and less susceptible to grooming. Not to mention that basic income and free college and rent caps would also help, because finances are the number one reason why you’d stay in a bad relationship or enter into a dodgy one in the first place--maybe it’s not consciously transactional, doing that, not all the time, but if you associate being in the company of someone with a higher standard of living, if they give you things you can’t afford for yourself...it’s going to get you. And this applies to toxic friendships, too; it’s really not just sexual.

But, you’ve got a culture that encourages parents to micromanage their offspring for as long as legally allowed, and sets up financial incentives for that micromanaging to continue even after legal emancipation, and then of course you get legal adults who are immature, because they’ve never had the chance to make decisions. Because they’re financially dependent on other people. Because they’re too scared of those people to take control. Because any attempt to take control of their lives is framed as more immaturity instead of adult actions. Fix that, don’t prolong it, my god.

 I am an adult, I have been an adult for 6 years even if I was a bit of a trashfire for the first couple of them, and if someone tries to raise the age at which people, particularly women, can make legal decisions for themselves without consulting possibly abusive parents or, god forbid, spouses--relatedly, wonder if that other poster has anything to say about child marriage with the consent of parents--I will get so fucking ugly about it. Like, god forbid you tell me that 16 or 18 or 20 or even fucking 24 is too young to decide if I want to have sex or, heck, get a fucking flu shot so I don’t die. Or that financial and social incentives have way more to do with abusive relationships than just age, past the mid-teens. Because arbitrarily raising the age at which an exploited minor can get a job or medical care or sign a lease, instead of offering financial assistance and a safe place to stay, is totally going to help them--not.