#I am such a problem

[thelediz]

Sonic Underground: The Chaos arc

That’s right, folks, it’s another three-parter, because this is the actual Knuckles arc, buckle up for a ride!

I’m watching Sonic Underground in search of inspiration to finish a fic I’ve been writing forever. It’s a sad state of affairs. See the recap of the first three episodes here, if you're interested!

The plot (for want of a better word): Robotnik has developed his greatest weapon yet: a giant gloating fortress powered by chaos emeralds! To defeat the undefeatable, the Sonic Underground call upon their ally Knuckles to help them save the day!

Sonic Underground 27: Flying Fortress

We kick off with the triplets on some kind of vacation day, Sonia sunbathing, Sonic playing frisbee against himself, Manic… digging for cash…? It’s all disrupted by a big flying ball with guns.

Now, this is Sonic Underground's equivalent of the Death Egg, but it isn't really a good one. It doesn’t look like the one from the games, and the equivalent of the Archie comics was much more egg-shaped. But it functions the same. It’s a big flying ball-shaped fortress powered by chaos energy.

The scary things about it are that it’s got an impenetrable outer shell (though Sonic breaks OUT of it okay), and a security laser beam thing that literally disintegrates anything it touches. Also its hallways are apparently labyrinthine, because Sonic spends a good minute running around it lost before the security system comes after him.

In this series, Sonic is not able to fall face-first from the upper stratosphere without harm. This is a problem, given the whole flying fortress thing, but Manic’s got a hoverboard so it’s fine.

But the good thing about Sonic getting chased out by the security beam is that he recognises the green energy as emerald energy. Which means they need to go see Knuckles.

Hilariously, in this series, Knuckles not only has traps, but also voice-activated anti-aircraft guns and a radio shack. It’s so very at odds with the mildly techno-phobic character we will come to know in the games, but it’s not entirely out of line for the Sonic 3 & Knuckles version, so cool.

Knuckles shoots the triplets (who are flying a converted SWATbot because why not) down, but Sonic uses their smoke to write his name in the sky and all is well. The most annoying part of this sequence is that the flying SWATbot was Manic’s idea and Sonic was against it, but when Sonic has an idea to stop Knuckles’ attack, Manic acts like it was Sonic’s. It’s… par for the course, but… mm. MM.

My headcanon to merge this series and the games kind of falls apart because of the conversation they have, where it’s very clear neither Sonic or Knuckles expect Robotnik to be able to get a hold of a chaos emerald, and Sonic can’t imagine there being more than one, but I hope you’ll forgive me my trespasses.

Knuckles, as per his original animated and comic nature, refuses to help because his duty is to protect the floating island. The Sonic Underground has to convince him with

THE SONG: No one is an island. Another Jamaican-style reggae tune, but thankfully without the accents this time. It’s not a bad sound, not bad lyrics, it’s generally okay, and more importantly, annoying enough to get Knuckles to give in.

No, literally. He is giving in because he’s been peer pressured through song.

So while Knuckles prepares a fighter plane, he is visited by his (recoloured) Great Grandfather Athair (Archie comic continuity is a go)(no Archimedes though, which I consider a damn shame) who has been given a Sean Connery voice and we just roll with it. Athair tells him that if he leaves the Floating Island, Mobius is doomed, but hey, maybe the future can be changed, so whatever man, you do you.

Meanwhile, in another REMARKABLE show of continuity, Robotnik is targeting Port Mobius because they have turned against him. Remember? Episode 9? Won’t blame you if you don’t, but wow, credit where due.

Also, Sleet and Dingo point out Port Mobius only rebelled because they rigged up a sea monster, because they’re not actually evil so much as employed/forced to be (according to this writer, at least), and Robotnik snaps that they’ve caused so many failures that he’s close to getting rid of them if they interrupt him again.

THE CONTINUITY. SOMEONE CARED ABOUT THIS SHOW. -WILD FLAILING-

Sleet is afraid of getting robotocised because they’re no longer needed, so he declares they need to do something. Yes, that’s right, folks, Sleet and Dingo are going to be sabotaging Robotnik for this arc to make sure they stay employed.

Meanwhile, the triplets and Knuckles have snuck on board and Knuckles pulls out a ‘chao-meter’ (kay-o, not ciao) which is basically an emerald tracker. It even kind of looks like an early build of Rouge's emerald tracker that we see in Adventure 2. So weird to see, in hindsight. Oh, wow, what if Adventure 2’s writers watched this series and… Nope. No, we’re not going there.

While they hunt it down, Sleet and Dingo are already stealing the emerald. Lucky for them, Robotnik knows our heroes are onboard, so only thinks Sleet and Dingo are trying to escape the falling ship.

And so episode 1 of 3 ends with the Flying Fortress in the sea, Sleet and Dingo on the run with the emerald, and nothing but danger ahead…!

Sonic Underground episode 28: No Hedgehog is an Island

First off, can we talk about how misleading that title is, and how good of a plot-relevant episode it could have been, about how Sonic needs to learn to rely on his siblings? Back in the day, it would have been a bit nonsensical in context, but in the current culture you could totally have him burning out or getting frustrated, and that leading him to screw up something, until his siblings help him de-stress and he gets his head back on straight, and…

Anyway. We have an episode to recap.

“How much would we risk to save the world from chaos?” Side-eye. Much side-eye, Aleena. On multiple levels.

Two things in immediate contrast to last episode: one, the chaos emerald is now much longer and pointier, and two, Sleet and Dingo (who originally stole the emerald to keep their jobs with Robotnik) are crowing about ‘so long, Robotnik'. So we’ve apparently given up on last episode’s proud continuity.

Knuckles is the hero of this episode, saving the siblings from drowning in the middle of the ocean and keeping everyone focussed on the emerald. It’s not yet about him worrying over the whole end of the world thing Athair warned about, but I’m sure we’re getting there.

So Sleet’s new plan is to use the chaos emerald to become ruler of Mobius. And then, for reasons that are only seeded if you don’t think Dingo actually likes Sleet, Dingo decides to use his physical strength to overpower him and take the emerald for himself.

Which. Look. I don’t tend to think too much about Sleet and Dingo – they’re the required hench-villains, they’re clocking in as evil (unless the writers demand otherwise), whatever. But as soon as you start thinking about Dingo, he’s… How does he morph? Why does Sleet have his controller? Why does he LET Sleet have his controller? As this episode proves, he’s perfectly capable of taking stuff off him. He doesn’t seem to enjoy being transformed. Why does he put up with Sleet’s insults? I kind of handwave it in that Dingo appreciates Sleet’s intelligence and ability to think beyond the current moment, but then that makes this a bit stupid, and also makes Sleet insulting him so much also stupid. Better to manipulate your muscle than build up resentment, or stuff like this will happen. And at the end of the day, he’s going to take Dingo back anyway, and nothing will change about their relationship, and…

I’m gonna stop and leave this to @shinymisty-blog to figure out.

Of course Dingo immediately drops the emerald and… it breaks. This actually makes no sense for an item of ultimate power unless Mobian rock is laced with a conflicting mineral that warps and contains the power of chaos into but we accept. The emerald kind of explodes in power, bathing Dingo in energy and recharging the van that Sonic’s trying to get started. Why not.

Cute little character moment – Manic drums in his sleep and snores in time. It’s kind of adorable, if very silly.

Aaaand we get the start of the Knuckles x Sonia romance. Knuckles is now on to blaming himself for not getting the emerald back, and Sonia comforts him. They’re then attacked by rogue chaos energy, and Knuckles has to save her from falling into a hole in the earth. And as everyone in the 90s knew, a person comforting a member of the opposite sex who’s getting down on themselves, AND then the first person getting saved by the second, can only lead to True Love. Et cetera. Sigh.

I’m not gonna lie, I strongly suspect this romance is a big part of what soured me to Sonia’s inconsistent love life when I was younger. It was so utterly unnecessary.

Also, Sonia can make herself into a spinning whirlwind. Are you honestly telling me she can’t - No. No, I’m not doing this. Just accept and move on.

So because chaos is breaking out all over, Sleet decides he needs to go crawling back to Robotnik, who is the only person who knows how to bring chaos under control. Another side-eye for the fic purposes.

Meanwhile, while the chaos energy is about to attack Port Mobius, Manic does something weird that doesn’t go particularly explained. He brings out his drums and plays them hard and loud until… the energy disperses? In the series, this is just one of the reminders that Manic’s power DOES actually equal his siblings’, it’s just entirely wrapped up in drums, but HOW it works is never mentioned or explained. He just… has that power over chaos, or something, I guess. He will not use it successfully again.

The song: Learn to overcome, which is some early Blink 182 like you can’t even guess. Like, M&Ms or Man Overboard type sound. Which is kind of funny because the music video is really trying to imply this is some hard punk rock sound and… ohh, honey, no. I love pop-punk and worship the godfathers of it like any good millennial, but it is NOT hardcore. And now I have Man Overboard in my head. It's just another, it's just another, it's just another night aloooone!

Also, just a weird side note that I wish I couldn’t notice, but whoever animated Sonia this episode really liked her boobs. Just saying. They are super noticeable for some reason.

So properly bolstered (or terrified, the expression leans more toward the latter) by the music, Knuckles suggests they go see Athair for advice. Anyone who has read the Archie comics knows this is going to be pointless without Tails.

But he gives them a cannister that can reform the emerald, and says they must make an alliance with Robotnik, which will somehow enable the cannister to work. It’s nonsensical, but it’s something that always had to happen in these cartoons, so we accept and deal.

The Sonic Underground refuses to make the alliance, but Knuckles decides to betray them and follow his grandfather’s advice…

Sonic Underground episode 29: New Echidna in Town

Aleena is on her nonsense again, talking about how sometimes it takes a whole world to learn a lesson, and that Mobius is now “learning the greatest lesson of all”. She does not tell us what this lesson is. I infer that it’s ‘chaos is dangerous’. And I mean… honestly, woman. We're about to have the Adventure games. STOP.

Robotnik informs Knuckles he’ll only make a deal with him if Knuckles brings him the Sonic Underground. Knuckles of course says no, but Robotnik is more than happy to call his bluff. “If I can’t defeat Sonic, I’d rather Mobius was destroyed.” Which I mean If Mobius isn’t the entire planet, that’s less insane and more evil than I think the writers intended. In series, Robotnik’s just insane as hell, which is appropriate because, y’know, back in the day all villains were all irrationally evil. Or Robotnik has gone crazy from chaos and anarchy beryl poisoning and

Anyway. Knuckles agrees, for the good of Mobius. Besides, Robotnik ‘promises’ not to robotocise the triplets. He’ll just keep them locked up. Honest. This is definitely not a lie that Knuckles will be horrified to discover later.

Meanwhile, the triplets are talking about what to do (Sonia wants to save Knuckles, Sonic wants to save the world, Manic points out they need Knuckles to save the world) and I do not know what Jaleel White was thinking, but Manic’s sing-song tone in this scene is so incredibly grating…

Knuckles comes back. And we have another moment of Sonia x Knuckles, and I mean… just… just look at this.

Sonia is magically attracted to men that are going to screw her over, I think is what we’re supposed to be getting from this. OR she’s just attracted to wet cats. One of the two.

And Manic plays wingman for his sister. We stan a supportive brother, even if we hate the relationship he’s batting for.

Anyway, so, Knuckles leads them into Robotnik’s trap and the triplets get captured in sticky stuff, and Robotnik immediately orders robotocisation. Five minutes, kids. FIVE. MINUTES.

So of course Knuckles turns on Robotnik and rescues the siblings. So the betrayal lasted all of two minutes. Conflict and resolved! -dusts hands-

Sleet and Dingo reunite, and Sleet transforms Dingo into a box to contain the broken emerald pieces. Naturally, this causes Dingo to mutate into a kaiju blob monster. I mean, obviously.

While Dingo goes on his rampage, Robotnik remains obsessed with capturing hedgehogs, until Sonic smooth-talks him into working with them to get back at Dingo. Like I said a few episodes ago, manipulation was once a thing Sonic was REALLY good at.

The song: The Mobius Song. Rocking tunes, brah. Like, totally tubular jams. For sure. That’s all I can get from this, and I don’t know why, because it’s actually kind of mod-rock, so I don’t know why my brain went there.

It distracts Dingo enough for Robotnik to catch him with sticky stuff, which is enough for Dingo to fall over and cough up the emeralds, which Knuckles catches, and… yeah, okay, let’s go with it. Enemies aligned, harmony was achieved, the day is saved. Hurrah.

So uh. Yeah. First, the counters, because it’s been a while:

Sonic implying less than 100% American heterosexuality: 5

Sonia in love with Bartleby: 4/37

Sonia in love with someone who is not Bartleby: 3/37

Sonia’s got super strength: 4

Manic’s thieving Is A Problem: 4

Then I have to process what kind of… narratively frustrates me, as world-builder, because we just have to accept the characters for what they are. But the… I think this is a problem Sega actually had, and still probably has, in that it doesn’t actually know what Chaos Energy does. It doesn’t know why Sonic (and Shadow and Silver) can use it to become a demi-god, or why it makes Angel Island float. It was only in the Adventure era that Sega solidified Chaos as emotions become form, and that’s part of why it quietly hasn’t ever acknowledged the Super Emeralds since, because they’re like… what? Super Emotions? Whatever. And what do emotions have to do with making stuff float, I mean... anyway. Anyway.

But that lack of clarity was really obvious in things like this, where Sonic doesn’t have power over chaos, so they take the safer route of chaos = bad, rather than the games’ line that you need to find control in chaos so that you can move forward with strength and resilience (GOD I LOVE THIS FRANCHISE).

And I actually think that could have been a really cool thing for Sonic Underground to explore, with its themes of resistance and harmony and not giving into the order of post-industrialisation and Taylorism and… and instead it just… chaos is bad, order is good, except when it’s not, don’t think about it too much, just look at the funky blue hedgehog and dance to the cheesy music woo.

But anyway. I am a problem and we know this. Dance to the music, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[christadeguchi]

(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)

[podcastwizard]

because here's the thing here's the thing the question was not "would you be more surprised to run into a fairy or a walrus" the question was "would you be more surprised to find a fairy or a walrus AT YOUR DOOR" and while no, i do not believe in fairies and would be surprised to know they EXIST i would NOT be surprised to find one at my door. HOWEVER, if a WALRUS shows up at my door i have to contend with the fact that a walrus somehow made it to my apartment specifically and knocked on my door for god knows what reason. i would be more surprised to know that a fairy EXISTS, of course, but NOT that they're at my door, do you get me?

[anna-pineappel]

Writing really goes one of two ways:

1. Write 3k words in 30 minutes

2. Takes 3 hours to write 3 sentences

There is no in between

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* what’s my deal why am I like this

[variksel]

i hate you ai art i hate you "unalive" i hate you youtube premium i hate you twitter 8$ checkmark i hate you nfts i hate you therapy app advertisements i hate you non-chronological timelines i hate you instagram reels i hate you subtle tiktok filters that cant be turned off i hate you family bloggers i hate you ads on true crime episodes i hate you facebook i hate you vr glasses on chickens i hate you dystopian social media

[komodocloud]

do you guys ever feel like an outcast even in a group full of outcasts. like i'm autistic and even in groups full of neurodivergent people i'm still excluded sometimes. i don't understand why

[aphel1on]

i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good

[selenekallanwriter]

Person: What's your book about?

Writers:

I'm both somehow 🙃

[secondbeatsongs]

for anyone too young to know this: watching The Truman Show is a vastly different experience now, compared to how it was before youtube and social media influencers became normal

before it was like, "what a horrifying thing to do to a human being! to take away their autonomy and privacy, all for the sake of profits! to create fake scenarios for them to react to, just to retain viewership! to ruin their happiness just so some corporate entity could harvest money from their very humanity! how could anyone do something so evil?"

and now it's like, "ah, yeah. this is still deeply fucked up, but it's pretty much what every influencer has been doing to their kids for a decade now. probably bad that we've normalized this experience"

[thelediz]

Sonic Underground episode 24: Mummy Dearest

I’m watching Sonic Underground in search of inspiration to finish a fic I’ve been writing forever. It’s a sad state of affairs. See the recap of the first three episodes here, if you're interested!

The plot (for want of a better word): One of Sonic’s ancestors was a prophet that predicted the rise and fall of Robotnik! Can the Sonic Underground find the scroll of prophecy and find out how to defeat Robotnik?

Is anyone getting the feeling someone in the writer’s room went to the middle east in this period of the series, or is it just me?

We begin with Sonia showing the boys a toy Cyrus gave her, called an ‘Intelliputer’ and after the whole zombie virus thing Cyrus cooked up last time I am immediately anxious.

It’s a surveillance laptop, basically, with very limited capabilities. Robotnik’s talking about some kind of expedition and finding Aleena, but walks out of frame before they can get actual details. HOWEVER

Also in the control room is an old book with a symbol on it that Sonia recognises as the Royal Hedgehog Crest. So apparently they need the book.

To do this, Sonic brings another new toy from Cyrus: very light SWATbot disguises. They use them to sneak into Robotnik’s headquarters and with toys like this I really have to wonder how the Resistance hasn’t just snuck in and shanked Robotnik in his sleep, I really do.

I know that’s not how kids shows work, don’t @ me.

They get in and would get the book easy does it, except Robotnik himself shows up halfway through the heist and even then, Sonic’s smooth talking (inside a robot disguise) would get them out except that Manic trips and breaks his disguise.

I question Cyrus’s engineering that it broke that easily.

Sonic just BARELY gets them out before the place goes into lockdown. This moment almost has tension to it!

Anyway, the book shows them the scroll of ‘Amun-Rappi’, which is… just… yep. Yep.

Okay, so let’s pause for a second to tell you why this plot point has always made me sigh a lot. Amun-Rappi is an ancestor to the royal family, and a prophet. To the point that he supposedly wrote out a step-by-step guide about how to overthrow Robotnik. They take him very seriously. AND YET no one saw Robotnik coming. No one has followed these steps. And this whole episode will ultimately have no plot relevance. In addition, Amun-Rappi is some weird… like, he looks like a fictionalised pharaoh, but in universe he is treated more like Cassandra of Greek myth. Which is, you know, whatever. The whole Mobius thing is a weird mish-mash of Roman globalisation nonsense so we deal. It’s just… I give SO MANY SIDE-EYES to the royal family for letting Robotnik into the kingdom with this in their history. This episode has stuck with me to the point that it’s kind of how I built up the entire Hedgehog royal family lineage from this one guy as a priest to the not!Egyptian King, whose descendents immigrated to the central kingdom before the Mobian wars that were mentioned in a past episode, but that IS SO MUCH HEADCANON NONSENSE and if I don’t do it, it just makes things messy.

THIS SERIES IS A MESS.

Anyway.

…Sonic is using Manic’s voice this time. Cool. Jaleel, I really think we need to re-record – no, no, you’re right, timing, move on.

The van (including the Sonic Underground) gets eaten by a Dune Worm. Robotnik and Sleet celebrate, while Dingo mourns Sonia. The audience is less concerned, because anyone who saw Pinocchio knows how this goes.

Sonia, who is the one carrying the braincell this episode, decides the best way out of this situation is to force the sandworm’s mouth open a bit (what) to let sand in (WHAT) until it surfaces (…kay) and spits the sand and them out (…uh huh). I mean, there’s logic to it. Not sure it’s my kind of logic, but we roll.

It lets them out in front of the pyramid and… as someone who replayed Assassin’s Creed Odyssey last year, I gotta say… this black, vaguely metallic pyramid… Issu artefact much?

Anyway. They get in through the secret entrance marked by the Royal H (the Hedgehog Crest. Yes, they call it the Royal H), only to immediately get frozen by magic by a… vaguely Jafar looking guy, who is there to protect Amun-Rappi's tomb.

But he recognises the royal hedgehog medallions, so apparently the necklaces have been things in the royal (which Amun-Rappi is not otherwise implied to be, yet) family for centuries.

Sleet and Dingo have been muddling through the other entrances, but catch up just as the guardian is showing the triplets to the main chamber. Remarkably, Sleet actually catches them with some sticky… stuff. But it’s for nothing, because Sonic ultimately breaks free with a superspin and takes the sticky gun thingy off them. The only thing this actually does is let the triplets know a SWATbot patrol is coming after them, so they have to take a shortcut to the burial chamber through two ‘chambers of death’. As you do.

So called, I guess, because there’s no way to disarm the traps without someone risking certain death first, I guess. But that’s what Sonic’s whole deal is, so he overcomes fire and water with only a few jokes and singeing and all is well.

Amun-Rappi was buried in splendour and with guardian souls but with very few treasures, gotta say. But said guardian souls take one look at Sonic, who is the spitting image of his ancestor, and back off. I dunno, I guess they needed to fill twenty additional seconds of the episode or something.

Amun-Rappi appears as a ghost, and demands a song in payment for the scroll, because of course he does.

THE SONG: We are Sonic Underground. Some… weird 90s rap thing that is directly referencing the plot for once and we just… yep. It is what it is.

Amun-Rappi curses Robotnik’s forces with his ‘Curse of Immobility’ while the triplets get away with his scroll of prophecy. But it’s all for nothing, because as soon as they remove it from the glass casing, it falls apart, as parchment is wont to do.

So that was an episode. I make way too much of it for world building purposes. I really shouldn’t, but egh.

Come back tomorrow if you’re interested?

[cozylittleartblog]

@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally

[melxhunter]

I feel like there are a lot of people out there who needs to hear this:

If you dropped out of school because of diagnosed (or undiagnosed) ADHD, Autism, ADD, OCD, Dyslexia, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar disorder, psychotic disorders, schizophrenia etc… You did not fail. The education system failed you.

[canonkiller]

This is expected, being human.

[unbloodiedmartyr]

Posts that are so VALShrue. to me.