#like going in circles around him and analysing him is SO FUN

[cringefail-clown]

No one asked yet so I feel the need to see, thoughts on dirk and jake?

my friend youve just stepped into a Projection Landmine

DIRK:

JAKE:

[adoregojo]

mikage's 5 steps guide! - nagi.s

i missed writing for nagi... my loverboy.. also this writing style is so fun??? wth??? i need to write like this again. i can barely keep one eye open so if there's any typo, ignore pls pls.

warnings: some cussing ig?

nagi was never that charming.

'charming' couldn't even stand being a word in his dictionary to be honest, nagi truly had zero sense of romance within him. he was an actual brick-walled person when it came to these things, or anything of strong-emotions in particular, there was no thoughts behind those void eyes of his but a circle of: sleep, eat, go to work, eat again, play games, sleep, and repeat.

even back to his high school years, not once he recalls talking to a girl, let alone getting a girlfriend, that was something beyond out of his character. maybe there was a girl that confessed to him, he remembered on valentines day he got a letter saying that he should go to the school's roof. and he ended up leaving the poor girl hanging on the air till the sky was clean orange because he genuinely 'forgot', nagi then earned the title 'heartbreaker' for a year straight, he let it be since it was much of a hassle to keep on correcting them. not like his reputation was any better before.

so you could say that nagi wasn't that much of a company to have around, on the other hand was his friend, reo who was basically the opposite of nagi, if anything he was prince charming himself. those social skills were enough to befriend anyone on sight, he got the looks, money and attention was surrounding him 24/7.

and even if reo gather the earth power to try and motivate nagi would go down hill, every time he tried setting him on a date it's either gonna end up horrible or nagi using the excuse to go to the bathroom and vanish to the nowhere. what an asshole.

at some point, reo accept the fact that maybe he's friend will in fact die alone.

and things switched around when you came to the picture.

first it wasn't that hard to notice you, your desk was glued to him after all. it was weird when you would greet him every morning and wish him a good night when you left, no one ever did that to him before, he tends to ignore and ends up being ignored. it was nice, a little reminder that somone was seeing him, acknowledging him.

slowly, the walls between you two was falling apart with each introduction. when you would pat him from his little naps for lunch time, or when it was leaving time, then he would stare at your back until your figure disappeared with a last wave, staring at the door for a little too long, perhaps wishing for you to walk back in.. who said that?

it was getting worse, or better, not the best at analysing his feelings. but nagi found himself looking out for a glimpse of you around the office, he has no shame to admit that the world suddenly felt gloomy without your presence beside him.

maybe he raised his head a little too fast when you walked in, maybe not. but he mostly did.

then you would ramble about how your shitty neighbour refused to clean after his pets filth and you two had a screaming match for a while before realising you were late. the was the worst way to start a monday morning, so you closed your eyes shut, rubbed your forehead for a peace of mind. then you opened your eyes, a piece of your favourite snaked would magically appear on your table.

for some reason your eyes traveled to the white painted head, he was looking at the other side, avoiding your questionable gaze hoovering over him.

Mondays aren't so bad after all, you thought.

perhaps he did place it there, who knows. —but nagi just really didn't like seeing you glum.

possibly, did he grew fond of you? he doesn't know. all he knew that lunch box you handed him the next day is a blessed gift within his palms. too good for him, you were too good for him.

you were the prove that the sky itself favoured him above anyone.

and when nagi wanted to ask you out, he only had one person to guide him to your heart.

so the very mysterious person behind the scene (reo) had a astounding idea that if someone like nagi; mister, game-addiction-freak. that on every step he'll get points! 100-90 if he did well, 80-70 not bad, 60-40 could've been worse.. 40-20 definitely could've been better... 20-0 yikes....

so with that, nagi was sent on a personal mission to win you over and soothe you with his nonexistent charm.

STEP ONE: be straightforward! it's not good to keep on dancing on someone's mindset with hints, it may cause a lot of confusion feelings and misunderstandings! only ask under a certain circumstances, a suitable place where were you two sit alone so they could have they're attention on you only. SIDE NOTE: try to make a good welcoming conversation to ease up the tension first then ask!

so nagi did just that, maybe a little too well.

he couldn't even eat his own lunch and just kept on rubbing his sweaty hands against each other's, staring back forth —he just noticed how many unfamiliar faces were there? did he really only seeyou?一 he was extra quiet which made you ask him multiple times if he was okay, he would just hum in response. what a smooth talker.

"nagi, you haven't even touched your food. are you actually okay?" you questioned, concerned. after taking a brief sip of your juice, but nagi just shook his head in conform, you raised a brow, a little in disbelief that he would think an obvious lie would go through you just like that. there was something off. the tension upon you two was twisting.

the words were on the tip of his tongue, yet they felt un-removed. all this stressing over four words were a pain, and a heavy burden he needed to reales before he lose his breathing track.

and the moment you took a bite and chewing on it, he just had to drop the bomb carelessly.

"go out with me."

so nagi didn't try and sooth the air, nor start a decent conversation. and when he gathered the earth courage to speak up, it wasn't even a question, that was a whole ass demand.

although, it worked. but it definitely could've gone better than you choking on your own food that you swore you witnessed death himself laughing his ass off at you.

what a great timing.

after you saw the heavens gates open for you and life flashing through your eyes, weirdly enough, you accepted.

huh, maybe he didn't mess up everything like he thought (he in fact did).

20 points!

STEP TWO: dress nice and compliment their outfit! dressing well means that you take the date seriously, complimenting them to foster a better sense of comfort and confidence, and they'll compliment you back! extra points if you made them all blushy and giddy!

nagi really wasn't the best at this.

instead of dressing 'nicely', all he wore was a big white hoodie and pants. didn't put much effort to his hair and just went off. it wasn't his problem that picking an estimated outfit was such a hassle. it's good at least it is something that covers him, right?

it all went downhill when you showed up, listen. he always thought you looked fit and nice in your suit work, and now he definitely wasn't ready to see you in regular, uniform out of work place. you just looked... so good, even great, stunning and beautiful, you name it.

nagi barely breath out a greeting, his eyes too busy scanning you from head to toe over and over, he couldn't take his gaze out of your sight even when you were on your way to the table. and he almost stumbled over twice for that, the first was nearly his face planting on the floor, and the second time he almost knocked out a whole plate of drinks. you just somehow managed to muddle over half of senses with your looks alone, maybe he should've considered writing his last letter.

"nagi.. you're staring too much."

the of yours dragged him out of his thoughts line. he saw as you held a sheepish— extra points?—expression, it was either from his heart-eyes eating you alive, or the date itself was bringing you to the nervous state, or both?

nagi cleared his throat, slightly cringing at himself for staring a little too hard. he was absolutely not doing reo's steps justice.

"sorry. you just, look really pretty." if not the prettiest of all, but again, nagi has eyes for you only to pay a mind to others around him.

your breath halts at that, you don't know what to say for a second, nagi himself was complementing you? and the fact that he said as it was a matter of a fact was such an out character thing. but at the same time a an amiable change. and it was for you only.

"thank you, I appreciate that." you say as you kept on twirling your fingers over your hair, you felt like a lovesick teenager. "I think you look very nice as well." you add, almost like a whisper, he still managed to catch it.

nagi let out a scoff, not even a smile forming on his features for that. "it's just hoodie, really."

"i still like it, it's very like you. I'm happy seeing that you can be yourself around me."

he flinch a bit at that, he really wasn't ready for this- it takes a strong-soulful soldier to handle this. and he really, really wanted to be gods strongest warrior just for you. so he gets a grip on himself and mumble a thanks.

you smile sweetly at that, and nagi may really be not the strongest soldier under your spell.

50 points!

STEP THREE: make a conversation! show interest in their personal life and listen to every ramble they have, try to also throw side comments there and here to support them and blow away any negative feelings of the talk being one-sided. also try and talk about your own life to make it easier for them to talk all night. SIDE NOTE: try and joke around to bloom a friendly tune. extra points if you made them laugh!

third time's a charm, right?

however, since nagi was uncommonly unfond of others babbling. in fact he found it annoying and it was hard keeping his eyes evenly open. but then when it comes to you, he found your feathery tune to be airy, he grew ease to it pitch.

so he handed over all his senses of hearing to you on one knee, and let you speak freely. switching between different topics form nowhere, and like the world- his world- itself was turning for you only, his eyes and soul was for you to talk and he'll rot into a shallow void to your lovely enunciate to play on a broken radio repeating.

maybe he should tell you to stop, because your non-touched food was getting cold, and maybe he should tell that to himself that too because he didn't even realize his plate was even there.

it felt like he had drifted from the original plan, instead the tables were turned and he was the one being swoon by you..

not that he minded honestly. but ending the night with you being the one who filled the space was enough to create a makeshift reo berating him, nevertheless, nagi really, really wanted you to like him back. to consider the idea of another date with him.

plus, he also liked your laugh, he really did. didn't the guide say something about making you laugh? even tried telling a joke that you actually chuckled at, something that was unneeded to say that his book was empty, he had to search on google "funny jokes" for gods sakes, how hopeless can he possibly get?

"why couldn't the sunflower ride it bike?" nagi utter flatly, "why" you slope your head to the side. "because it lost it petals." the joke was old, dusty, forsaken. and the urge to recoil the second it left his mouth was understandable. but somehow you still pushed out a laugh at it, you don't know if it was an amusingly one, or because that nonchalant face was clearly begging you to laugh. with that monochromatic tone and all made it even funnier.

that bloomed the smallest amount of exhilaration within his rib cage. it was lovely, and what was made the giddiness to flourish inside his belly was the fact that he was the reason for it. it felt priceless. a sight to a crave in his midst. completely bizarrely about all of this, nagi let's you take over him. to consume him, his heart, his breath and soul were yours to claim.

at least he did something good that night?

70 points!

STEP FOUR: walk them back home! it's quite a simple act but very affected and gentlemanly, make sure to make them feel save and guarded! hidden notes: try to hold their hand!

after paying the price, you and nagi take your leave. with also nagi's off attitude with him opening the doors for you and let you walk first. although, who were to complain about such a treatment? you'll take it

but weirdly enough, nagi was a bit on the edge. like he had a n amount of ants in his pants, couldn't look at your direction, barely spoke out a response, or anything in general. and 一was he holding his breath???一

wait, was nagi actually.... nervous?

you glanced at him, shoulders stiffened, hands moving too much and fast, mouth was dry and agape, half dizzy 一when he isn't?一

now that you did not expect.

it was even ten times worse than him in the cafeteria earlier, it felt like nagi was about to confess to you his cruelest crime. the tenseness was mixed with the deep-seated tenderness, nevertheless, it was a bittersweet taste. and it kept on going until you two stood together by your home.

"i had fun tonight, nagi." you spoke first.

he finally flinched out of his own world, he sees you rubbing your arm, the gesture was sketchy, almost as if you were waiting for him to say something, anything.

but nagi's mind was blank, blow out an air in his ear and it will run out of the other, empty head. yet his mind was roaming, that need to say something clung up to him again. too many thoughts he cannot process.

but all nagi did know was he wanted you to stay a little longer.

"that's.. good?" he should have stayed quiet, what kind of answer is that.

you nodded awkwardly in agreement, breathing out an 'yeah..' he felt a bit guilty at making you feel uncomfortable, the fact of him being unfaithful may have crossed your mind, and nagi didn't like it. but you always managed to make feel weird, he always felt too warm when you would get close to him, words were lost when he would look at your eyes, and now this..

but despite everything, he felt like himself when he was with you the most..

every game had it secret move, and his was that he need to let himself be.

"can we do this again? i also had a good night." a part of nagi wanted to add that it was one of the best nights he ever had, yet it was too cheesy, cringe.

"yes!" you replied, too fast. you sounded so desperate! you palmed your mouth, embarrassment remains on your face as you cleared your throat. "i mean.. yes, we can do this again."

nagi had to physically bent down his head, he was gonna set you on fire alive with his eyes, if he may say, you looked cute when flustered. and his heart wouldn't stop beating so infuriated, almost bursting out raw of chest.

nagi for some reason, stretched out his arms. it was bold and he knew it, he just did it and hoped for you to handle it. "um.. can i?" he sees you halting at your place. eyes ogling around but his own.

you walk up all jittery to him until there's barely any inches left between the two of you, you kept your eyes glued to your feet as if it was the most interesting thing in this moment, but it's also like you were asking him if it was okay, unsureness. so he pushes your head gently forward to rest on his stiffen chest. an arm runs around your back to force you as close as possible to him.

you shrivel when nagi's nose would be buried deep unto your hair locks. your scent would draw him at slacken, his whole body bending against yours that you felt like he wanted to crawl under your skin desperately, searching for the seeds of endless love you endowed to him.

you didn't know if you were somehow intoxicated, but you swore that you felt a pair of soft lips pressing against your skull, god, you felt like melting and soon to become a paste sliding down between his fingers. you gently pushed yourself back, and perhaps you imagined nagi's whining for you to not let go. it's like you were gonna fly away once he unwrapped you free. the second you meet his face, a pout expression on his lips, and you couldn't help yourself from cupping his cheeks, squeezing them slightly. a smile made it way to your face as his eyebrows grew frowned.

nagi's hands were on yours, pulling them down from his face, but not too far. unabashedly keeping his eyes locked with yours, he was holding you tight and close, basically hostage. the bug-stomach is back at again but more fiercely than ever.

80 points!

FINAL STEP: kiss.

the dull hue travels down on your lips. boldly, he doesn't look away for what felt like eternity, if anything it seems like they grew heavy the second you parted them slightly to say something that sticked on your tongue.

"can i kiss you?"

was he trying to kill you?

you don't respond, instead you made a move to give him a quick peck on his cheek. backing off faster than ever. nagi stood still, rooting in his place, completely bamboozled. his mind stopped working and his eyes were drifting off in different directions.一is it normal that he felt like melting to the ground?一

"im so sorry, nagi- i just got really nervous and-"

"seishiro."

"eh?"

"seishiro, call me seishiro." he finally found a piece of mind to say. he didn't know if it came out as a command, but he sincerely wanted you to call him by his name. he'd die a happy man then.

"well.. goodnight, seishiro. can't wait for our next date," you said, weaving before your door. nagi barely being able to wave back, his mind was still half empty. you just made him see the light of the stars and left with with the sweetest, loveliest smile for him to think about for the next couple of weeks.

maybe he stood there for a little longer than he should have, his face was on fire, his heart on race track. antithesis of the nonchalant face he had, he made a move to rub the spot you pressed your soft lips against. and the first thing that came to his mind that it was definitely worth it.

and by now, he absolutely forgot about the points and the game itself. oh well, at least half of it worked. he just did it in his own version, which apparently was charming to you. nagi thinks if being charm to you, than he can come over anything.

limitless points! you have made your own path to the heart!

[eustasskiddsprosthetic]

Hey, remember when I said I shipped Lawlulaw? Yeah, I finally have an idea for them!

As I was fleshing this out, I suddenly felt the need to shove in Acelaw and Sabolaw in there so uh that's fun. I wanted this to be Lulaw centered but the moments of Ace and Sabo can be very easily spun into a romantic direction if I wanted and I wanted to be open to having a Law harem!

Welp, anyways, onto the plot I cooked. Edit: I elaborated more on this au here (x)!

I'm thinking of Law as a scientist who studies marine life. He has a huge lab where he collects specimens and spends a lot of time sketching out the intricate details and labelling them. He loves drawing these because it helps him get a clear, objective view of the world. His ultimate goal is to know just what makes the world tick.

He wants to know the inner workings of everything, kind of to compensate for how he barely knows himself and the depths of his subconscious nature. He believes everything has a place. A creature's ever part, every organ, every component is like a gear that keeps the whole system running and Law loves analysing them.

It may or may not be surprising but he actually believes in things like monsters, aliens and cryptids. From his experience, there's so many interesting sea creatures within the realm of science. It seemed a bit rude to dismiss the possibility. You never fucking know.

So that means when he sees a merman washed up one day in front of the beach near his home. He shrugs and says, "Well, he looks better than a drunk Bepo."

From indifference turned curiosity, Law squats down and starts poking this merman with a bit too much force and said merman jolts awake. Law notices how sharp his teeth and claws were. Law knew he would die if he did not approach him correctly.

"H-hello. I'm Law. Are you okay?"

The merman was visibly confused. Law realised he seemed a bit dehydrated and realised his gills on his neck looked uncomfortable. Law understood. He pointed to the ocean behind the merman.

"I'll take you back," Law said. He did not know how to approach the situation beyond rolling up his sleeves just in case the merman had an allergic reaction to his shirt and very gently trying to carry the creature princess-style.

Law was horrified to feel that this creature was heavy and struggled with carrying him. So much for wanting to be brave. The merman did not do anything to make things difficult—Law just was not the strongest out there. He just stared at Law with literal stars in his eyes. He made a cheerful little sound that was admittedly quite cute.

Law let the merman go when he was just around waist-deep in the ocean. He gently poured some water over his gills, which elicited even more happy sounds. When Law let go, the merman suddenly looked sad and Law felt like a horrible human being.

"Good bye. Take care"

The merman was swimming rather freely in the ocean now and he circled around Law. Law felt anxious. Did he walk into a trap? Was the merman going to attack? The merman did not seem hostile but you never know what these creatures were thinking especially when they were alive.

When the merman stopped swimming, Law took a good look at his features. He was quite cute in the face with large round eyes and an equally large mouth that occasionally broke into a large smile. If he were human, Law would've fallen in love.

"Good bye, it was nice meeting you-"

The next thing Law knew, he was immediately submerged underwater. He could barely breathe and felt himself choke. Meanwhile the merman was giggling like this was all very amusing. Law was knew he would die, if not for something rapidly swimming up and forcibly dragging the merman away.

Of course it was another muscular merman. He looked older than Law's murderer and had dark red accents on his hands and neck. There were spots on his face that looked like freckles. Now this one looked predatory. In human terms, he looked like he was nagging the other merman. Irritated, Law stood up as best he could and punched them both on the head.

Law's murderer seemed annoyed and sad at the violence, while the other one looked mildly impressed. He whistled through his gills. At least Law knew what that meant—it was a fucking mating call.

"Shut the fuck up! You're both annoying me! Go away!"

The black-haired mermen tilted their head to the side at the same time. In the distance, a pale, almost albino merman swam closer. Unlike the other two, he seemed friendlier even with a heavily disfigured face. He laughed as he happily said, "I'm sorry for my brothers, bastard!"

Law was flabbergasted. This was not his day.

"You can talk?"

The blonde merman seemed more surprised than Law. Law would punch him too but he was much faster than the other two in grabbing them by the shoulders and swimming some distance away so they would have to shout at each other. Law's murderer seemed sad that they were separated.

"You can talk, human?" The merman replied. He laughed. "Bitch!" He seemed to say those vulgarities with great childlike amusement. Though, Law would not be surprised to hear that he knew what those words meant and meant them sincerely. He seemed cunning.

Law felt wet, disgusting and thoroughly upset that he did not die. "Why, yes I fucking can! Piss off!"

As Law made his way back to the base, he suddenly heard the blonde merman tell the pervert and his murderer something. They went silent when Law looked back. Three seconds later, they started making loud, hysterical noises.

For God's sake, Law walked away with a ruined morning, wet clothes and the horrible memory of nearly dying. That was annoying, as he walked up the ocean where he was comfortably knee-length. He felt something gently grab his foot.

"What do you want, murderer?"

The merman pouted slightly and fuck isn't that just the cutest thing? He tried to pull Law back but gently this time. Law realised this was kind of like a child trying to make friends. He sighed and squatted down again to meet this creature at eye-level.

"I won't go with you but I'll come back tomorrow morning. Don't pull that shit again, or I'll kill all three of you. Understood?"

That seemed to be what the merman wanted for he smiled brightly and made those happy clicking noises again. He hugged Law's shoulders, licked his cheek quickly, jumped off and swam off with his brothers who seemed more interested in this little guy more than anyone else.

The sight was sweet. Maybe tomorrow morning would be better...

(Also, Law read up on Merfolk. Apparently, they were acknowledged to be legitimate sea creatures only three years ago and there were proper laws to forbid the act of hunting and killing them. Law found it strange that policies viewed them more like an endangered species than human beings.)

(More importantly, Law found out that there were some highly intelligent merfolk could learn human languages. And even more importantly, merfolk use their saliva to mark their territory... Including their mates, whom they usually commit to for life... Huh.)

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 莲花楼/Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Mysterious Lotus Casebook is a 2023 drama about a beautiful twunk who just wants to die of his chronic illness in peace, except that neither the dumbass purebred dog of a man who has decided they're best friends now nor the jock begging him for a rematch are going to let him go without a fight (in the latter's case, literally).

Also they ride around in a magical bamboopunk RV.

I have referred to it elsewhere as "the CW presents: Nirvana in Fire," and I stand by that assessment. (I orginally called it Tiger Beat Nirvana in Fire, before realizing that Kids These Days will not get that reference. Shout out to the other elder millennials in the audience!)

There's been a lot of English-speaking fandom buzz about this show, to the point where if you're in these circles, I'm sure you've heard about it before. I know I had by the time I started watching -- which left me largely unprepared for the actual viewing experience, because the parts of the show that fans talk about are not a representative sample of the show itself.

This drama can be a good time. It's fun to watch. It has some hilarious beats and also some emotional moments. It spent its not-huge budget very smartly, and as such is generally quite lovely to look at. As my League of Nobleman rec will attest, I appreciate raw materials, and this is a show that has some fascinating raw materials.

(Or some materials that need to get rawed, take your pick.) (Also, it's not my fault they didn't do a dramatically lit Fang Duobing shot so I could round out the trio here.)

You'll find some people out there who've gone real hard for this show, doing some deep analyses and getting really emotional over it. I don't want my gentle ribbing to give the impression that those silly fans are delusionally talking like the show's a five-star restaurant when it's really just a fast food joint. Not so! There's a reason it's captivated a whole lot of people! And in case you might be one of those, allow me to give you five reasons you should consider watching it.

1. This bitch

The main character, Li Lianhua/Li Xiangyi is probably 50% of the show's appeal all by himself. He's fascinating. He's gender. He's fashion. He's been afflicted with a substance we called "bitch poison" the whole time we were watching. He has many emotions. He cries a lot. He coughs up blood every other episode. Cheng Yi is putting his whole lianhuassy into this performance, and it shows.

I made the Nirvana in Fire comparison earlier, and I stand by it for a lot of reasons, but the truth is that he's actually much more Opposite Day Mei Changsu: Li Lianhua wants all this stuff to fuck off and leave him alone forever. He is not seeking vengeance, nor does he particularly want to Do Schemes, but Circumstances keep dragging him back into the thick of all this nonsense he thought he left behind when he (mostly) died ten years ago.

The thing is, he used to be a real dick back when he was a kid. And I mean a real dick. He was a dick to his chronically insecure adoptive older brother. He was a dick to his girlfriend with the personality of wet tissue paper. He was a dick to the handsome loser who liked his girlfriend. He was a dick to his followers. He was basically just a cocky little shithead who thought he was the best at everything -- and he actually was the best at everything, which just made it worse.

Li Xiangyi used to think everything (especially himself) was sooooo important, and now that life has massively kicked his ass, Li Lianhua had come around to the position that nothing is actually that important, so let's just all chill and grow vegetables. He doesn't want a rematch. He doesn't want to retake his rightful place as the head of anything. He just wants to pay his respects to the dead before he joins them.

Now will everybody please just stop moving into his house.

2. goof-ass jianghu nonsense (affectionate)

As I mentioned earlier, everything I'd seen about the show on Tumblr had still left me absolutely unprepared for what a silly ride it is. Because it's silly. Hoo boy, is it silly. My wife dubbed it "lace front Phoenix Wright," just to give you a metric for how silly we're talking. Ace Detective Fang Duobing never cross-examined a parrot, but I feel he came close.

This show has some serious goof-ass jianghu nonsense -- you know, the sort of stuff that's impossible and ridiculous, except everybody’s going to treat it like it's just a normal part of existence. Here's a short and certainly inexhaustive list:

mind-controlling bugs

other bugs that control the mind-controlling bugs

ex-conjoined twins

a grown-ass man who can compress himself into bitchy third-grader

grave-robbing societies with secret brag language

so much nonconsensual qi-blocking performed by poking people in the boobs, that can't be safe, everybody wear thicker shirts

magical crossdressing powers

a bad guy who looks like this

a princess who can get abducted and sex-trafficked and, like, nobody really notices? huh.

healing childhood paralysis by the power of believing in yourself

a ... hallucination pit? what was that, anyway?

so. many. mechanisms.

the equivalent of the "he's only mostly dead" business from the Princess Bride

a gradually lethal bookshelf

the strange amnesia everyone suffers from where a dude can cover maybe 30% of his face and render himself immediately unrecognizable to long-time friends and associates

The thing is: I think this goof-ass jianghu nonsense is a legitimate selling point. I found it so fun. I turned off my need for show elements to obey little things like the laws of physics, and I had a good time. It can be a very funny drama, in part because it knows how silly a lot of its shit is, and it chooses to go full speed ahead with a sincere heart. If you are down for some shounen absurdity, you are in for a treat.

However:

2.2. goof-ass jianghu nonsense (derogatory)

I'm granting myself a sub-point here, because this is an important qualifier for the previous point.

I'm going to assume, based on what I've seen from fan responses, that many of the people who really like this show actually don't like the goof-ass jianghu nonsense. They are here for the BL vibes (after all, there are three cute boys who alll have some intense emotions about one another), and therefore downplay all the parts that aren't that. I want to make it clear that this is not a bad thing to do. There are many, many properties where I myself fixate on a single element and toss the rest into the sea. No judgment here.

However, since this is a post written to convine you to watch something, I want to make it clear what you're going to get if you dive in. If you're one of those people who skips scenes and/or entire episodes when your ship of choice isn't onscreen, you're probably going to be doing that a lot here. (I mean, I can't imagine doing this, but Tumblr has taught me that fandom is a rich tapestry.) The bones are good, but the connective tissue can be questionable.

The main thing I wish I'd known before starting is that the mysteries are not the selling point. They are the celery that gets the cute boy peanut butter to your mouth. You, the viewer, absolutely cannot solve them; you're never given enough context or information to keep up with the detective lads, much less get ahead of them. Everyone does everything in the most convoluted way possible, to the point of comic absurdity. Finding out whodunnit is rarely that satisfying, because too often the culprit is Jianghu Steve, You Know, That Guy Over There With The Superpower The Characters All Know About But You'd Never Heard Of Before Thirty Seconds Ago.

The goof-ass jianghu nonsense feels like the place where the show I see fans talking about least lines up with the show that actually exists. And I think that's a shame, because I think the show that actually exists is actually a good time! It's just, you know ... silly.

3. Whenever Di Feisheng's not onscreen, all the other characters should be asking, 'Where's Di Feisheng?

This drama gets sold like it's the adventures of three guys together. (Hell, I kind of did it myself in the intro.) This is not the case. This is the tale of two guys who do most of the plot stuff near one another, and their occasional third, Di Feisheng.

This is a 40-episode series and I swear this guy's onscreen for maybe 15% of the time -- and for half of that, he's just off doing his own thing anyway. He disappears entirely for huge chunks of the series, which is a crime, because he is my absolute favorite.

He is the rare grumpy himbo. He doesn't just have resting bitchface, he has bitchface for all occasions. He somehow has bitchface even during the rare moments he actually smiles. He's got a whole traumatic backstory, but the traumatic backstory is not the reason for the bitchface. He's Just Like That.

(Important to note that the actor himself only slightly has a resting bitchface. Xiao Shunyao can look normal and indeed quite pleasant. He has simply leaned into it real hard for this grouch.)

The one -- one -- reason I can accept his being gone for so ding-dang much of the show is how often he re-emerges with perfect, hilarious timing. Thank goodness the show realizes how much comedic potential his character has, because his unexpected entrances are some of the best laugh-out-loud moments of the series. If the show had taken Di Feisheng as seriously as Di Feisheng takes himself, he would have been unbearable. As it is, he's an unmitigated delight.

While you losers were being heterosexual, he studied the blade.

He makes the perfect foil for both Fang Duobing, who's the human equivalent of a puppy trying to gnaw an elephant to death, and Li Lianhua, who just wants to be excused from this narrative. Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing are basically two dogs fighting over their favorite toy, and their favorite toy is Li Lianhua, who really wishes he weren't. Some of the most compelling and fun moments of the series are when these three losers are all together.

And these three losers are barely all together.

This show is Not Danmei. It's so Not Danmei that I had a tremendously difficult time while making this post finding either official images or screencaps with even two of them in frame at the same time, much less all three. It is, however, a Danmei Starter Kit. I mean, the tag on AO3 has, at present, 742 works in it (283 in English). That's just since July! There are years-old c-drama shows that have a fraction of that fan output! And I'm willing to bet a big reason why is how little the very intense boys with ridiculously compelling interpersonal dynamics actually interact onscreen.

But, I hear you asking, why would less of what the fans want equal more fan goo? Well, friends, that's exactly what the fan goo is for: filling in the blanks. And this here show has a lot of blanks. Look, I've made a very scientific diagram (that many people seem to agree with) about how this all works:

The Hump of Compelling Mediocrity is the place where the amount of stuff worth thinking about far outpaces what the show actually contains of said stuff textually. It is the ideal location for imagination adventures.

Di Feisheng and Li Lianhua's relationship in particular lives right in the middle of that hump, what with the huge gaps in their backstory and all. They are a pair made entirely of unanswered questions. What the hell is going on there? What's their whole history, beyond the big fight? Why are they like this about one another? The show refuses to say. Whatever you imagine, you're correct. Now go tell AO3 about it.

interlude: God's perfect dipshit

I feel like I'm engaging in Fang Duobing erasure in the rest of this post, since he's not at the tip of any of the points I'm making, so I'm going to add a picture of him here, because I love him and want to pinch his perfect little cheeks.

You know what I am shocked by? How the MLC/DMBJ reincarnation fics apparently have not taken hold yet. I give it another two months.

4. IT HAS A DOG

FOX SPIRIT, MY SWEET BABY

'You mean the dog gets a whole selling point to himself' yes the dog gets a whole selling point to himself, because he is a very good dog and a very good boy (and his actor is a very good girl)

Apparently he has a whole backstory in the novel that never gets included in the drama, including an explanation of why he's named "Fox Spirit," if you feel like going and reading up on that.

Sadly, Fox Spirit is in the show even less than Di Feisheng is, and that is a crime, because he could have solved all these silly human mysteries in thirty minutes flat, Wishbone-style.

Dogs are so good.

5. One bad, bad girl

Do you like an unhinged villainess? Someone who's been sucking down Crazy Juice since beat one? Because oh boy, this show's got one of those for you.

Jiao Liqiao wants two things: to rule the world, and to make Di Feisheng her pretty little housewife. And whomst among us does not understand these two impulses?

She's not even the Big Bad! She's mostly just Di Feisheng's personal nightmare. She is the type of woman for whom the phrase "he's just not that into you" was coined. You've got everyone around her telling her, honey, I don't even think I've ever seen him look at a pair of breasts, while she's already planned their whole wedding menu and reserved the venue.

She has spent the last ten years of Di Feisheng's extended vacation making sure she's the one who's actually in charge, functioning as the point person for all the other evil schemes going on. Instead of handing over the reins upon her himbo boss' return, she's just going to keep doing what she's good at. As long as he keeps doing exactly what she wants him to do, she's gonna let him do it. If he gets out of line, well, there's always Plan B (the B stands for Breaking all of his tendons and making the world's surliest RealDoll).

I love the fact that she's so obviously evil, and he can't see it. To a certain point, it's not his fault -- everyone who serves under him is pretty obviously evil, so that doesn't make her special. But she's real evil even above and beyond that, and his dumb ass can't stop thinking about Li Lianhua long enough to notice any of the hundred or so knives she's aimed right at his back. He's so uninterested in her constant advances that he doesn't register how wanting to fuck someone and wanting to overthrow someone are not mutually exclusive desires.

(Was I bothered throughout most of the series by how her lipstick should be a little more crimson and a little less coral? Yes, but I'm not going to hold it against her. She's busy doing evil stuff. She'll get over to the nearest Jianghu Sephora and restock one of these days.)

While the show occasionally sidelines or straight-up forgets about a lot of its supporting characters for several episodes at a time, it never forgets to check in on what Jiao Liqiao's up to. Claws out, hair done, she is at all times a constant glorious, scenery-chewing menace with excellent taste in terrible men. Absolute legend.

Bonus: These two sluts

They don't get to be a full point because they're not nearly in the show enough, but just look at them. This is peak male character design. Slutty undone hair and slutty bare forearms, be still my bisexual heart.

Going to give it a try?

iQiyi's got you exclusively, baby.

Have I sounded a little defensive in this rec? Yeah, probably. It's just that I know there's a big and pretty intense fandom out there for this already, and I feel like a jerk coming in and being like "sure, it's fun!" when people are posting about how it made them cry for weeks. I want to be clear that that's not a bad reaction to have, while at the same time also being clear that that's not the reaction I had.

I might not even have written this rec, had I not been nudged to -- not because I don't think it's worth watching (I clearly do!), but because I don't know how much help it needs from the likes of me. There are plenty of other evangelists out there that'll give much more enthusiastic recommendations (like this one).

But the truth is that not every show has to be a heartbreaking work of staggering genius to everyone. I watched the show, and I liked it, and I had a normal time.

I also think there's something to the way I watched it, which was: one episode per day, schedule permitting, such that it took nearly two months for me to finish it. (And before you think I singled MLC out for this, this is actually how I watch most c-dramas.) I bet binging it is a way different experience, one where what rises more readily to the top is the tragic throughline of Li Lianhua's whole deal. If you're inclined to skip things not immediately germane to your points of interest, this is definitely the show to take at a solid run.

I actually paused in the middle of making this rec and made the one for the Blood of Youth, because the two invite comparisons: jianghu tales with chronically ill protagonists, some imperial bullshit going on, pretty boys with swords being weird about one another. Mysterious Lotus Casebook did not grab me as hard as the Blood of Youth, because MLC went for a more understated take on all its nonsense, instead of shooting completely over the top, which is how I prefer my nonsense (as the record will show). If you take your silliness with a subtler flavor, this could be the perfect thing for you.

Maybe you'll wind up being one of those people who gets their whole insides totally ripped out by this drama! But even if you don't, you're probably going to have a good time watching it anyway. And really, what more can you ask for from a show than that?

Peace, nerds.

[lil-elle]

idea from loml @chiiyuuvv !! (Sorry it took so long to get to this pookie)

Truth or Dare

group: xikers

pair: seeun x fem!reader

genre: fluff, crushes, shyness, best friends to lovers (yknow me 🥰)

word count: 3.2k

content: drinking, kisses ‼️

a/n: TYSM POOKS FOR THIS AWESOME IDEA IM GIGGLING SM

Seeun dragged you by your wrist through the front door as you rolled your eyes. 

“C'mon, you'll have fun!” He insisted, but you just weren't the type to enjoy parties, you only ever went because he loved them and you were such a sucker for that wide, gummy smile of his.

You followed behind him like a small obedient dog as he chatted with his friends, people you'd never even seen before. You felt silly following him like this and almost hiding behind the broadness of his back, but you were much too afraid of straying off on your own in a house full of strangers.

You were busy zoned out, counting the tiles on the floor, when Seeun pressed something cold to your cheek: a beer can. You quickly took it from him and analysed the label.

“Woah, I didn't know you actually drank at these things.” You mumbled, spinning the can around in your hand.

“What, do you think we just sit in a circle holding hands or something??” He chuckled teasingly, making your face flare up in embarrassment.

“Of course not!” You quickly defended, popping the can open.

“Have you ever even drank before?” He smirked, cracking his own can open and taking a swig like he did this everyday.

“Pffft, h-have I- pshhhh- o-of course I have.” You waved your hand at him dismissively, avoiding his eyes despite the fact you were certain he could see through your lie. Without another thought, you lifted the icy can to your lips and took a sip, your face screwing up at the sour taste of the alcohol on your tongue. You swallowed after some struggle and smiled at him crookedly.

“See? Easy..”

He chuckled, taking another sip of his drink before grasping your hand and pulling you with him.

“Where are we going?” He looked back at you with a smile as he pulled you through the house into a bedroom where most of the friends of his you recognised from earlier in the night were gathered.

“I said we don't sit in a circle holding hands, but we do sit in a circle and play truth or dare!” He tugged you so you were sitting next to him in the circle, the sudden multitude of eyes on you making you shrink back and you timidly took another strained swig from your can.

One of his friends suddenly started speaking to the rest of the group in a confident voice.

“Okay, classic truth or dare, house rules: when someone asks you truth or dare, you pick one, and you do whatever they say. If you refuse, we get to all like- uh- point and laugh at you or something. Got it?” 

The group nodded their heads and began chattering quietly before he spoke up again.

“Okay who's going first?” Seeun's hand shot up before he even finished speaking and a few faces around the room chuckled at his enthusiasm. You felt a smile creep onto your face as well, charmed by how much he seemed to be enjoying himself. That was until he slowly turned to you with a smirk on his face. “Oh this motherfu-”

“Y/n! Truth or dare?” You gritted your teeth, making your disdain for him obvious on your face, and spoke up with the most confident voice you could muster.

“...Truth.”

“Lame!” Someone called out, followed by a few chuckles, but you kept your eyes on Seeun and ignored the embarrassed heat crawling up your neck.

“Hmmm…What do you really think of the beer?”

Your eye twitched and you promised yourself that you'd beat up this nutrient deficient string bean as soon as you got him alone next.

“....It sucks. Like it tastes like piss genuinely. But…it kinda makes being here easier, so…” You lifted the can and took this biggest gulp you could, Seeun smiling as you sighed with a twinge of regret for doing that.

“Preach!” You heard someone from across the room yell, making you smile shyly.

“Your turn now, shorty.” Seeun ruffled your hair and you swiped his hand away before scanning the room and quickly realising you had no idea who to pick, not knowing any of the people sitting around you apart from Seeun. Your eyes bounced from person to person, inevitably being drawn to the confident boy that introduced the game. You pointed a shaky finger at him.

“T-Truth or dare?”

He chuckled and set his own drink down before leaning back on his hands.

“Dare.” He said the word without hesitation and you panicked again as you wracked your brain for a dare to give that wouldn't make you sound lame (again). You nervously swirled your drink in your hand, just that action giving you an idea.

“...I-I dare you…to chug the rest of your drink right now.” You felt slightly proud as his eyebrows raised and his lip quirked up in a smirk. He sat back up straight before lifting the can to his mouth and throwing the rest of it back with a few hard bobs of his adams apple and various cheers and playful yells from the group. His eyes met yours again as he dropped his can, crushing it in his hand before tossing it behind him in a dramatic display. You quickly looked away, overwhelmed by the eye contact, and your eyes met Seeun's face, eyebrows tight in a frown and eyes almost boring holes into the boy you just dared. You lifted your hand to tap him on the shoulder, your attention being stolen away by the continuation of the game before you could make contact.

You continued nursing your beer as the game went on, Seeun nudging your shoulder to make jokes into your ear every-so-often. You couldn't tell if it was the buzz of the alcohol or Seeun's light-hearted presence making you feel so comfortable, but you were starting to enjoy yourself, laughing and chatting with the group like you belonged there as much as they did. That was until the attention was flipped back onto you and Seeun for the first time in a good 10 minutes.

“Seeun,” the boy started, “truth or dare?” 

Seeun leaned forward playfully.

“Dare.” 

The boy smiled and finished off his drink, crushing the can, before continuing.

“So…we've all noticed how close the two of you are,” he pointed, finger moving between you and Seeun, “don't think we haven't.” 

Your face flushed red and you shrunk back slightly before you felt Seeun's large hand rest on your back reassuringly.

“...And what about it?” Seeun responded with a confident tone, earning a multitude of teasing coos from around the room which only made you blush harder.

“Well!” He clapped his hands together as he continued. “Your dare…is to give her your phone…and let her go through it.” 

Your eyes snapped up to Seeun's face upon hearing those words, expecting Seeun to pull his phone out of his pocket without hesitation, only to watch as the colour drained from his face for the first time that night. A few seconds passed, then a minute, as Seeun's hands lay frozen at his sides.

“So…you're not gonna do it? This is the dare that's gonna break you?” The boy teased as a few other people chuckled. Seeun took a deep breath in before seeming to snap back into his usual confident persona.

“Of course not.” He smiled, grabbing his phone from his pocket and almost tossing it to you. Your eyes stayed glued on his face, frowning at the way he was almost refusing to make eye contact with you. You couldn't help but feel how wrong this whole situation was, feel how not like himself Seeun was acting. You clutched the phone to your chest in an attempt to push down your nervousness before putting on your best smirk and speaking up in a stutter.

“I-I think I'll look through it later…when me and Seeun are…alone…” 

You slipped the phone into your pocket and sighed with relief on the inside when you heard the teasing comments from the group, although embarrassing, reassured you that they hadn't caught onto your act. You caught Seeun glancing at you, a very small amount of blush on his face before the both of you turned away in unison, earning more cooing and teasing.

The night went on as usual and the group was beginning to get more rowdy and tipsy, you and Seeun included as you somehow managed to get down a whole beer and start on another one. 

By the time the two of you left the house you were giggling to each other about nothing in particular and just yapping about random things as he walked you home. The cold night air was refreshing on your flushed cheeks and the short walk to your house passed by in a flash. Eventually, you were pulling your front door open and attempting to pull him inside with you, insisting that you “had to have a sleepover with your bestie”.

He easily slipped out of your grasp and stepped back, chuckling.

“I have to go home,” he poked you lightly on the forehead, “and you need rest.” You pouted and leaned dramatically against the door frame.

“But but but- are you even sober enough to get home?” You questioned, just trying to find any excuse to get him to stay longer. He chuckled again and you were too hazy to notice the redness in his ears.

“I'm fine.” He smiled and you couldn't deny that he had a much better alcohol tolerance than you.

“Okayyy…,” you sighed, lifting your hand weakly to wave, “bye bye…”

The last thing you saw was his crooked smile as you shut the door, luckily remembering to lock it in your dizzy state, before scrambling to your bedroom and flopping onto the bed. As soon as your face hit the softness of your pillow, you were out like a light, shoes on and everything, but that wasn't something you cared about as you drifted into a dream filled sleep.

You were suddenly pulled from your sleep by an obnoxious alarm coming from the phone in your pocket, yanking it out in your half asleep state and slamming your finger on snooze before tossing the phone next to you and rolling over. It took you a few seconds, but you suddenly registered that… “Wait, I don't set alarms.”

You sat up, blinking against the sun shining ruthlessly into your window, curtains wide open and failing to protect you. You grasped the phone and pulled it up to your sleepy face, turning it around in your hands for a few moments before the memory of the dare crashed back into your head. 

“Oh.” You tapped on the screen and analysed the pic on his lockscreen: what seemed to be him and one of his friends you recognised last night posing together and making silly faces, both of them with drinks in their hands. You smiled to yourself and instinctively swiped up to unlock the phone, quickly met with the realisation that he has a password because why wouldn't he?? You thought for a moment before chuckling to yourself and jokingly typing in your own name, the click of the phone unlocking stopping you dead in your tracks. You sat up straight, looking down at the phone with a serious and slightly confused expression before you finally processed what his home screen was…it was a picture of you. A candid photo of you laughing taken most likely by him when you weren't paying attention. A photo that you didn't even know existed. Your heart suddenly sped up and you felt a small amount of heat enter your cheeks but you took a breath in and reassured yourself that it was normal for someone to have a picture of their best friend as their phone background.

You timidly swiped again, bringing up all the apps he had open and giggled, quickly realising why he always complained about his phone dying really fast. You scrolled mindlessly through the multitude of random apps before a text conversation with Hyunwoo, a mutual friend of the two of you, caught your eye. Quickly tapping on it and bringing it up, your heart started to pound at the idea of going through his private messages and you felt slightly guilty, especially because you were defeating the whole purpose of the reason you kept it with you. Despite your guilty feelings, your finger scrolled up like it had a mind of his own, all the way up to the beginning of the conversation Seeun had with Hyunwoo right before the party yesterday:

H: So do you have a plan?

S: Uhhhh. 

S: No.

H: Dumbass

S: STFU!?? IM TRYING MY BEST?!?!

H: Alright well keep trying ‘your best’

H: Meanwhile she's gonna go and fall for someone else before you can even confess

You blinked frantically like you couldn't believe your eyes. Confess?? Like, confess confess?? You started scrolling faster, eyes scanning over every word at twice the speed.

S: You're harsh man

H: If I wasn't you wouldn't even be considering confessing now would you

S: …

H: Yeah okay

H: Did you at least invite her to that party?

S: Yeah

S: I'm on the way to her's now to pick her up

H: This is the perfect opportunity! Confess tonight!

S: CRAZY

H: Just try man

H: For my sanity

S: 💀

S: No promises

Your eyes stayed stuck on those last two words as the gears in your head went into overdrive, your whole face burning red at the thought of Seeun having a crush on you. Even more so at the thought that there was a chance of him confessing last night and you had no idea. You quickly found yourself with your nose buried in his phone, scrolling through all of his messages without remorse, too busy dazed and confused over the situation you're in to feel guilt.

It didn't take you long to find your own messages with him, feeling a pang in your chest at the hearts he had put around your contact name.

The more you searched, the more you found, and the more real it all felt. A folder in his gallery dedicated to pictures of you. Instagram open specifically on your profile. A stupid buzzfeed article on different ways to ask out a crush that was clearly directed towards 14 year olds. All those symptoms pointed to one diagnosis of a boy in incredibly deep (and only a little bit pathetic) unrequited love. With you. Except that love wasn't actually so unrequited.

Your head was spinning trying to process everything happening when a sudden bang on your window made you almost fling the phone across the room. You lifted your head only to meet eyes with the exact man making your mind all jumbled up standing outside your window. Your blush only got worse upon seeing him in that plain but charming grey hoodie of his and you were certain there was no way you were hiding your feelings from him now.

Carefully, you lifted yourself from the bed and circled around it to the window, sliding it open and being met with the cold and fresh morning air.

“I'm glad you're awake.” He started with a smile, already making you melt with just 4 words. “Sorry for the startle,” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, “there was no way I could knock on your door without waking your parents so I had to improvise.” He stared at you for a moment as you stayed silent before his gaze fell to his phone caught in your death grip. He sighed and a look of relief covered his face as he leaned against the window frame.

“Thank God you have it. I remembered giving it to you but I can barely trust this brain of mine when it's not under the influence, y’know?” He joked but something seemed off about his demeanour, like he was nervous or hiding something, just like how he was acting before handing you his phone last night. Although, now you know why. 

His eyes travelled back up to yours as he spoke.

“You okay?” 

You felt your face only heat up more, a change he obviously noticed as he finally began slipping from his denial and started realising what you must've seen. A pink hue entered his cheeks and he spoke up again with a noticeably shakier voice.

“H-how much…did you see…?”

You finally found your own voice to respond to him.

“...Hyunwoo…he…was helping you…” Before you could even finish, Seeun folded his arms on the windowsill and buried his face in them.

“Fuck…” He mumbled, his soft hair falling over his now bright hot ears.

“A-and your wallpaper…a-and my name in your contacts…a-and your gallery-” You suddenly started spilling to him everything you'd seen, watching breathlessly as he sunk further into the plushness of his hoodie sleeves. He sighed again and lifted his head, the state of his face and the splotchy redness that covered it making your heart pound.

“Well whatever…” he mumbled before pulling himself through the window, forcing you backwards to make space for him. Once he was in he steadied himself before leaning back against the window frame awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with you the whole time. 

“Y/n.” The suddenness of his voice made your breath catch and you looked up at him, clutching the phone to your chest.

“I really like you…will you be my girlfriend?” He continued avoiding your eyes and spoke in a flat voice. It felt less like he was confessing and more like he was admitting and accepting defeat. Your fingers tightened around his phone and you mustered every ounce of courage you had to speak up in a tiny voice.

“...yes…” His eyes widened instantly, making you feel a strange sense of excitement and pride.

“Did…you just-” He finally turned to you and met your eyes, his red cheeks somehow growing redder. 

“-say yes…?”

You could barely hold back your excitement as you nodded, smiling and watching as his expression twisted from confusion to shock to disbelief to pure joy. You almost dropped the phone as he scooped you up into his arms, giggling so happily with an expression of such unfiltered happiness you'd never seen on him before. He spun you around a few times as the two of you giggled together before he finally settled down and hugged you close to him.

“...You mean it?” He asked in a quiet voice with a slight tinge of disbelief still present.

“Seeun…can I be your girlfrie-” your words were cut off as his lips suddenly pressed to yours. You were almost convinced your heart would explode in your chest as he kissed you in a way that felt like it would never end. He pulled away just enough but still keeping his lips only a few inches from yours, allowing you to catch your breath.

“Sorry…” he muttered with a smile telling you he wasn't really sorry at all. But you didn't care, not one bit, as a hysterical fit of giggles burst from your throat.

Thank God he forced you to that party.

-

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

TAGLIST:

@chocoeon @hyunukitty @ihyeokzu @cake1box @chiiyuuvv @shortnstupid @dogyunslover

[soullessjack]

listen i get your frustration about how people treat jack, i hate when people reducd him down to just a destiel baby too. but as an autistic person myself, i really disagree with you calling people that like baby jack ableist. he's canonically 4 years old and had to have his childhood basically stripped away from him due to how dangerous it was. i don't think people enjoying the thought of him getting to have that chance at a happy childhood is as cruel and evil as you seem to think.

hi, I’m actually going to answer this differently than I did at first, because I feel like I missed the point and spent way too much time on the canon logistics of “giving Jack a childhood that he chose to skip and is never shown to want,” or that he’s actually pretty obviously portrayed as a teenager in the show, or that his character fundamentally revolves around autonomy & the struggle to have it, and not enough on the actual ableism. I’m also going to be a lot meaner this time, sorry.

honestly, you don’t get my frustrations. you don’t get that this isn’t some petty fandom drama about “muh fav being misunderstood” or “grr this content bad.” you don’t get my frustration if you think that’s all there is to any of this. this is something with an actual bearing on reality and the entire topic of representation in general, which you’d get if you took your head out of your ass and looked around for once. autistic people are still immensely underrepresented and misrepresented in most mainstream media. we are still seen and treated as circus animals, as punchlines, as lesser humans if not subhumans, and we have to face that alongside navigating a world that is wholly and systemically unnavigable to us. fiction and fandoms are an escape for many people, but especially marginalized people who long for community and representation.

the autistic community has a pretty long history of resonating with nonhuman characters in fiction over time, from robots to aliens to monsters in horror movies. because whether it’s their mannerisms or specific struggles or even narrative experiences, they resonate with us. jack resonates with us. he’s important to us as autistic people—and namely, as autistic adults who very rarely see ourselves represented in ways that don’t depict us as gross man-children, infantilized precious beans or emotionless geniuses. in fact, the very notion that autistic people are inherently childlike or mentally children directly leads into our sole representation being children, and even more into the treatment of us as “precious small beans.” does that ring any fucking bells to you yet?

jack might not have been intentionally written with autism or representation on mind, but this fandom literally builds itself up on coding and unintentional implications. he was also confirmed to be autistic anyways, so anyone still whining should just grow the fuck up about it. also, ironically, most accidentally autistic characters end up being the best kind lmao. but these discussions? these analyses by autistic fans —and even just fans who actually care about his complexities — only exist within our own little circles, and the idea of baby!jack is very much the fandom’s steadfastly going mainstream version of him—so much so that people are convinced it’s actually canon, they die on that hill like it’s some obligation to uphold. and any viewing of his canon character with nuance or complexity, or even his basic personality, is left to gather dust. it stops becoming people having fun when it’s over-saturating and supersedes actual canon. it stops becoming people having fun when it’s actually fucking harmful.

it’s frustrating as a general fan, but downright upsetting as an autistic fan who sees themself in him and has to witness every fucking day — in a community that prides itself on being a big found family no less — the infantilization of traits I and other autistic people express, and the stubborn justification of him being “actually a toddler” with even more autistic traits. There are literal scraps of canon adult Jack content to engage with; of any semi-intelligent thoughts on him to indulge in.

what you don’t get (or you refuse to get) that there is a direct correlation between all of this, the way jack is treated (ie ‘reduced to a destiel baby’) and the ableist infantilization surrounding his character. as in, this content directly feeds into his treatment, which then feeds back into the content made of him, which then feeds back again into his treatment in a horrible and exhausting cycle.

what you don’t get is that constantly regurgitating content where the baseline is jack being actively stripped of his identity and autonomy for the sake of becoming an accessory to Destiel/Sastiel/the Domestic Winchester Family is inherently rooted in layers of deep ableist rhetoric, and you can perpetuate all of that even without any intent for it. I’m not a fucking moron, and I’m not the big bad guy you’re talking to me like. I don’t think anyone who enjoys baby!jack is inherently “cruel” or “evil,” or turning jack into a baby while thinking “this’ll stick one to those retards,” and twirling their moustache, okay? and it’s really so funny to me that you’re trying to point the finger back at me. at least you tried.

what you don’t get is that whenever autistic fans voice our perspective on baby!jack, we’re fucking ignored. we’re fed the same rotten slop over and over and over again. “But we want him to be happy!” “But it’s an AU, it’s not canon!” “But he actually is a baby because XYZ!” “But, but!” Buts are not an argument, they’re the thing you still haven’t found a way to pull your heads out of. maybe the lack of oxygen from so many people in one small dark space is why you’re so fucking stubborn to understand this.

you wanna know what is cruel? being told that you are doing something hurtful, something harmful and something that painfully reflects real life struggles a real community goes through, and shrugging it off. being aware of the value something brings to someone else, and stripping it away simply because it doesn’t matter to you personally. finding another But or a corner-cut to excuse yourself from blame. you didn’t have the decency to listen when general fans said “hey this is kind of annoying can we treat him like an actual person,” and you don’t even have the decency to concede when autistic people are saying this is a deeply wrong thing to do.

if you have to ignore an entire community’s voice to feel better about the content you’re making that directly hurts them, if you don’t personally think it’s harmful or even real because autistic struggles are never real, then I am well within reason to assume you’re not a good person. it’s one thing to do something wrong because you’re uninformed, and it’s another thing entirely to continue to do that when you’ve been informed, and simply decided that it wasn’t worth changing or stopping.

believe me, as an autistic person I am well used to being isolated, to not being anyone’s priority in this capitalistic circle of hell. I am ready to expect my struggles and existence to be tokenized for somebody else to feel good, or squeeze money from. Im used to seeing movies portray my experience as some Manic Pixie Star-seed or creepy overgrown child. I know the world doesn’t care about me. But I don’t think I’m asking too much for this, the big found family fandom that’s been shown to care so much about every other problem, to care about me. To listen when it’s hurting me, or uplift something I care about.

I don’t think I’m asking for anything less than this family to actually treat me like I am part of it. But can you even do that?

[enam3l]

rockstar eddie munson thinks any music is good music if it makes you happy

a little follow up ficlet / headcanons from the ask i got about what bands rockstar eddie likes to see and hang with. you can see all my rockstar eddie munson posts here to make sure you're up to date on all the lore 😭

Eddie fucking loves having the money and connections to take you to any gig you like. He doesn't care that he might not like the band or know the songs. But his heart flutters watching you mouth the words to your favourite songs. His knees go a little weak when you dance around him as if you're in your kitchen and not in a crowd. He can't help but smile when he sees you grinning whilst you take in the performance.

Festivals are a favourite holiday for you both. Together in the camper van or yurt or whatever crazy place you've ended up sleeping in, you carefully analyse the schedule. Each of you having a highlighter and choosing who you want to see each day. Then the dungeon master in Eddie comes out so he can organise your path for the day.

He loves how you both gradually get tipsy throughout the day, stumbling around the festival site arm in arm, talking about who you're excited to see. He can never believe the look of pride you get in your face when someone recognises him and you always offer to take their picture and miraculously always have a marker on you so fans can get an autograph.

Your heart soars watching him go wild to his favourite bands, living out delayed teenage years from when he never had the money to go to gigs. You hold his jacket for him and make sure to have a bottle of water to hand for when the set finishes and your man is dripping in sweat and exhausted from getting swept into a pit. He'll usually strip his shirt halfway through and you'll hold that too. When you think he's having fun lost in the crowd somewhere, he's really looking back at you. Grinning with heart eyes at you as you scan the crowd for him with a warm look in your eyes. Why would he look at the band when he can listen to his favourite songs live whilst staring at your sweet face?

When it comes to watching your favourites, Eddie is pretty sure this is one of his favourite ways of seeing you. Watching you a little wasted and dancing round him, holding his hand and twirling round to songs he's heard you sing to yourself constantly. Your little festival outfits drive him crazy, your fur coats and wellies with your knees a little muddy from splashing around. Eddie wonders if a heart can burst because when your favourite slow or sad songs are played you'll come back to him, press against him and let his arms wrap around you. He feels the tightness of your grip on his hands and can sometimes see a tear in your eyes as you away together. He feels honoured to be included in this vulnerable private world you get lost in when you hear these songs. Letting his face bury into your hair to press kisses, he can hear you whispering along the words.

The traditions didn't end when you became parents. Festivals simply became a family holiday. He didn't care as people whispered 'Isn't he that rockstar Eddie Munson?' as they watched you all holding hands, dancing around wildly in a circle. He wore the glitter his daughters put on his face with pride and would get matching face paint with them if they asked. If you look hard enough, there's a video interview with him being asked about his favourite bands at the festival this year, he talks totally normally as if he doesn't have butterfly wings painted on each side of his eye. Whenever Corroded Coffin plays festivals, it's hard to focus on the crowd when he can see you and the kids back stage with homemade banners saying 'MY DADS ON GUITAR'. He prays the cameras can't catch the blush on his cheeks when he spots your T-shirt that reads 'THE GUITARIST IS SLEEPING IN MY BED TONIGHT.' His favourite part of the festivals though is how you, him and your three girls all curl up together to stay warm in the camping bed.

No matter who the pair of you go and watch live though, Eddie crumbles in your arms when you kiss his cheek to thank him for the tickets and whisper in his ear 'I still can't believe I got to marry my crush from my favourite band.' Even though you say it every single time.

[asteria7fics]

I see like no Wendy content😔🙏 can we pretty please have headcanons abt her😻

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon

🏳️‍⚧️ A gender headcanon

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

🎶 A headcanon about music

👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of there

💝 A headcanon about their love language

🫂 A friendship headcanon

💔 An angsty headcanon

🪢 A headcanon about their family

📓 A headcanon about their hobbies

👗 A headcanon about their clothes

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes

🍫 A headcanon about food

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon

💄 An appearance headcanon

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

😶 A random headcanon

(I’m srry for giving u so many‼️) -😨

Wendy is SO under represented in the fandom!! Outside of her relationship with Stan at least, but I personally think she’s too interesting to be reduced to his future housewife (or just an obstacle for Kyle)!

Barely spoilers for EWILY under the cut, just including this in case anyone wants to go into the fic totally blind.

🏳️‍🌈 - Wendy is a severely closeted bisexual, with a strong preference for women. You’ll probably find that I head canon most of the kids as being either bi or pan, but with specific leanings to either end of the spectrum. Just some of my personal view on sexuality that I won’t get into here ahaha

🏳️‍⚧️ - Cis woman, though I do think she would lean into some degree of flexibility in her gender expression as she gets older.

🧸 - Wendy had a very happy and healthy childhood, all things considered. I do think she went through a phase of wanting a sibling when she was maybe 6 or 7, but filled that void pretty quickly via her friendship with Bebe.

👻 - Failure, and not being good enough. She’s constantly being made aware of what an uphill battle it will be to become a successful woman in our extremely patriarchal society, and she’s under a lot of pressure to prove herself. Truthfully, having to deal with Cartman has probably been great practice for her! But I think this fear also speaks to why she struggles to let Stan go; by not still trying to help him, she feels like she’s failing him.

🎶 - Though growing up Wendy listened to whatever was popular, as she’s gotten older her music taste has gotten a little pretentious. Lots of indie artists on her playlist, and I think she probably enjoys jazz and classical inspired sounds the most.

👽 - I’m not sure if it qualifies as a quirk, but Wendy does very few things casually. She’s the kind of person that will annotate a book she’s just meant to be reading for fun, with detailed analyses of the book’s themes and recurring metaphors.

💝 - Wendy is a mixture of quality time and acts of service. You may be able to gather why she and Stan break up so damn often.

🫂 - I think Wendy maintains friendships very well, and can jump social circles without much issue. However, her best friend in the whole world has been, and always will be Bebe. They’re pretty different people on the surface, but they have a bond that runs so deep it would be extremely painful to separate them.

💔 - She hides it fairly well behind a pretty smile and good grades, but Wendy is a MESS!! Like, if you guys think the Style angst in EWILY is rough, you just wait till I get around to writing Wendy’s side of the story. I-… don’t wanna say any more than that, heh.

🪢 - Wendy’s pretty close with her mom, but I think she’s not as close with her dad. Partially because he isn’t crazy about Stan (for understandable reasons) and partially because he strikes me as kind of a dick, in only the way that dads can be sometimes. They still love each other though, and their relationship will improve as she gets older.

📓 - I don’t get to explore this much in EWILY, but Wendy stays very busy! As I said previously she does read for fun, and she’s also a bit of a cinephile (something she and Stan bonded over, to an extent), but I also think she would participate in tons of other after school activities to keep herself occupied. Student government obviously, on top of cheerleading, field hockey, glee club, the list could go on. And of course, when she’s not doing all of that she’s hanging out with Bebe and the girls! Or Stan, I guess.

👗 - Dark academia queen, with a hint of twee I fear. Lots of pleated skirts and v-neck sweaters, Peter Pan collared dresses with tights, sensible sneakers or penny loafers. Hints of pinks and yellows, but her favorite color to wear is purple.

🔪 - Look, she can’t afford to get anything put on her permenant record so Wendy left her fighting days in elementary school. However she WOULD fuck a bitch up if tested, but nobody really messed with her after that whole fight with Cartman… and the, uh, entire war where she beat the shit outta several boys with her silly plastic sword.

🌟 - Wendy is very focused on proving herself, and I don’t think she truly stops to consider what it is she actually wants until she’s out of high school and able to thrive in a new and more comfortable environment. Her largest goal in life though is to make meaningful change that benefits humanity. Awww what a good kid.

🍫 - While not picky per se, Wendy does her best to be healthy. She’s a really athletic and busy person, so she gets up early to make herself a balanced breakfast and will sometimes bring her own lunch to school if what’s on the menu is particularly unhealthy. She does, however, never pass up Taco Tuesday.

🎭 - Being happy with Stan :-) And being straight :-)))))

❤️‍🔥 - As much as she tries to be highly logical, she’s a total hopeless romantic. Loves love, and loves to be in love. Sometimes it becomes a bit of a distraction for her, but she gets better at balancing these parts of her life with age.

💄 - I haven’t gotten a chance to post any of the sketches I’ve done of Wendy yet, but I picture her as being fair skinned with soft, delicate features. She’s pretty slender, and on the shorter side compared to the other girls. She also probably wears minimal makeup, maybe just some concealer to hide when she’s had a sleepless night. Oh, and she’s kept her hair pretty short ever since The Great Chop during The War of Trojans.

🖕 - Oooh Wendy is second only to Kyle in the anger department, let’s be so honest. And maybe Cartman? Though 9/10 times he’s the reason anyone’s pissed off in the first place, so we’re not counting him here. Wendy’s a passionate rager, meaning she gets pissed off about things that matter deeply to her, or when she sees blatant injustice in the world.

😬 - Aaahahaha, breaking Stan’s leg wasn’t great!! But, well, I think perhaps her most selfish move is yet to come. Stay tuned!

😶 - Sometimes when she’s sleeping alone she still cuddles with an old stuffed animal, especially when she’s feeling especially lonely (i.e. on the tail end of another messy breakup). She would never do this in front of anyone though, not even Bebe. She’s a little embarassed to show anything close to a sign of weakness, or a reminder that there’s still a little girl in her.

Whew!! Alright, I’m pretty sure I got them all, but let me know if I missed any! I really had to think about some of these, so thank you for giving me the chance to explore Wendy more than I’ve been able to!

Also, if you enjoy the way I write Wendy then hopefully you’ll enjoy a little something I’m cooking, just for her! (It’s in the crock pot though kids, slow cooking for as long as possible!)

Thank you for sending me more of these!!

[saphirered]

For the winter prompts maybe 4 with sad wizard Caleb Widogast

One sad wizard finding some holiday cheer coming right up! 😘

“Come on Widogast! We’re going shopping!” Beauregard shouts as the Mighty Nein gathers to go into the city to celebrate midwinter, buy some gifts but mostly drink mulled wine at every place that sells it and other alcoholic seasonal treats. Caleb instead sits at the table book out in front of him, coat nowhere to be seen. He just raises an eyebrow when the monk tries to get him out of this chair but he makes now effort. She’s not about to drag a grumpy wizard along a pub-crawl so she just huffs and grumbles and lets him be, much to Caleb’s satisfaction and relief. He makes eye contact with you when you are about to put on your gloves. He offers a half-smile in the way he’s known to do, the one that shows the underlying grief and sadness that he feels has become part of who he is now. You return the expression, look between the Nein and him and with that, stuff the gloves in your coat pockets, take off your coat and drape it over your arm. You separate from the others and make your way to him instead. Some protests are called after you, because you did just back out of something the group and you had been looking forward to. Caleb frowns but that feeling is replaced by a welcoming and accepting warmth even though he doesn’t want to admit to it.

“I’ll meet you guys later. Make sure to drink some extra for me okay?” You tell them and with some grumbles and groans and comments about how of course you would side with your wizard and ditch the group. Some more inappropriate comments follow too but you laugh it off, when Caleb’s cheeks turn red. But finally that door closes and the Nein are gone and you’re left in the common room of the tower with the wizard. 

“Don’t miss out on fun because of me.” Caleb speaks when you drape the coat over the back of the chair and sit down, pulling your legs up under you and leaning your elbow on the arm of the chair so you can balance your chin atop your knuckles. It’s an inquisitive gaze.

“What are you reading?” Caleb is fully aware you have little interest in finding out what he’s reading, especially since you recommended this particular book to him, handed it to him this very morning. You know exactly what he’s reading. 

“Do you really want to know?” Caleb humours you, a curt laugh and a shake of his head. 

“No but I take the chances of you talking about what’s really bothering you are abysmal at best so I’ll settle for small talk.” You hum. He sighs in response and puts the book on the low table, fiddles with his fingers. He refuses to meet your eyes like he does to so many others, but that’s a circle you’d broken in the past between just the two of you. Only in avoidance will he revert back to this. Your expression turns to pity. 

“The festivities, running around, being happy, it-uhhh- it doesn’t feel right.” He admits. That stare of you burns and he’s midway between finding it frustrating as if he’s unworthy of it, and relieving as you can sympathise. 

“Is that why you didn’t want to come with? Because you don’t think you deserve to celebrate or because seeing all these things remind you of the past?” Caleb thinks long about your question this time. He really weighs your words to analyse his feelings. Where does this come from? He feels that spark of self hatred, the feeling he’s been coming to terms with, overcoming even with the help of his friends, with your help. It feels like a slap in the face now, like he's failed you somehow. 

“I-uhm-I- I don’t know?” He’s still not entirely sure of that answer but you move from your chair, find your way over to him, in front of him. You hold out your hands for him, giving him the choice of physical comfort, and an invitation for something he might otherwise have denied himself. He clasps his hands together instead of accepting and frowns. He lowers his head, eyes fallen to the floor focussing on nothing in particular. 

Caleb does not see what’s in front of him. He sees the happy times he’s enjoyed with his family when he was a child, and with his peers when he attended his studies. They are good memories. He used to love these things. He still does. He loves the snow. He loves the markets. He loves the oddities found nowhere else this time of year. He loves the food and the drink and the company. He loves it all. He remembers the times he used to get excited for these holidays but he’s not celebrated in a long time. Does he even remember how? He shakes his head. He brushes it all away. What is he thinking? He’s been on a right path. He’s been breaking boundaries he never thought he’d ever be able to overcome. He’s done so many things he never thought himself capable of. He’s rekindled old joys. What is stopping him from doing so now? He is. Gods he’s missed the midwinter celebrations. He wants to stroll down the streets. He wants to barter with merchants for the best gifts. He wants to kiss you under the fairy lights. He wants to spend time with his friends. He wants to dance and drink and spin until he can’t no more. He wants to live. He takes your hands. His head lifts and a sad smile turns into something different. 

“Let’s go outside.” He can’t promise anything else but you’ve always told him progress comes in small steps, which he cannot deny. You beam when he rises to his feet and pulls you along. He takes your coat from the back of the chair you put it on, helps you put it on before he finds his own. He drapes his scarf around his neck and before he knows it you’re both at the door of the tower that keeps at bay the world beyond; a cheap tavern room. With a deep breath he pushes it open and takes a step beyond the threshold, and the next and the next. Even from this room the merry people outside can be heard and he finds himself among the clouds. Caleb keeps going. No turning back. You follow him, your hand in his reminding him you’re right there with him. He looks back at you, not at the door to that tavern when you step outside. He looks at you, and watches you take in the decorations, the falling snow, the people strolling down the streets. The market in the square is in full flow. Vendors shout prices, and beckon people to check out their wares. The cheers of the games being played echo throughout. It’s wonderful. It’s magical. It’s everything he remembers, but most of all, your eyes filled with wonder, he’ll commit those to memory too. 

“Come on.” You have not the chance to speak, nor did you have anything to say. Midwinter leaves you at loss of words. You’ve not experienced a celebration like this but given the rising childish excitement in Caleb you know he has and you gladly let him lead the way. You don’t know what changed within him, what made him change his mind because you know him to be static in these kind of ways sometimes. That doesn’t mean you’ll break this moment, interrupt the joy he is feeling by whatever questions you might have. You know Caleb to talk when he wants to talk, when he’s ready so you’ll give in and go along, enjoy the moment. Just the two of you. The two of you and all of this city. 

From oddities to fashions no one in their right mind would ever wear, to delicacies and questionable foods, you enjoy it all. You run through the streets, laughing and sometimes singing along the songs being sung by the people, or trying to and laughing more when you make up some ridiculous lyrics compensate for your lack of knowing the proper ones. You do some shopping, some seasonal gifts for your friends and of course you had to pop by every bookstore you came across to check their collections. You found a manifold of stupid books, some absolutely terrible smut which you simply had to buy but some decent things as well. Your best find you’ll chalk up to be a collection of folklore, fairytales and seasonal traditions; both enjoyable and educational. You manage to hide that one from sight, as your wizard stores away all your purchases so you don’t have to look like all those idiots carrying more bags than one should be able to, and bump into people so annoyingly. 

Your journey doesn’t end there. After trying many different foods from roasted chestnuts to some weird sauerkraut dish not even Caleb could stomach more than a bite of, you find yourselves in another city square. This one, is home to a magnificent fountain, large and frozen over entirely to the point it’s more like a pond with some statues in them. People have taken to the ice, much to the annoyance of the local guards who have given up on trying to stop people from using it as a skating ring. Caleb pulls you in the direction of the fountain and takes a seat on the ledge as you sit next to him. You finish the last of some roasted beef skewer as the wizard takes out some spell components. 

“What are you plotting?” You eye the components suspiciously knowing at least they’ve got to do with something vaguely transmutational but that doesn’t really narrow it down.

“Where I’m from, we used to take to any river, spring, or lake frozen over. If we got really lucky the streets would freeze over enough to skate across them.” Caleb mutters some words creates a mixture of ingredients you cannot begin to identify and uses his thumb to spread it along the side of his boot and then the next. Its shape changes until identical metal blades of an ember sheen begin to form underneath the soles. Ice skates. He’s making ice skates. 

“I bet you ten gold I’m faster.” You grin deviously as he taps your knee and you lift your feet for him to repeat the process. Before you know it, you’ve got skates too. Caleb steps over the ledge, onto the ice and offers his hand to you. Gracefully you take it and you’re on the ice. It takes a second to fully feel secure again. It’s been a while but easily you both adjust and do a practice run around the fountain. You’re gliding across the ice together and go a little faster each time. You have to avoid some less experienced skaters more than you’d like to admit but when the other doesn’t notice you manage to save each other from a crash. It’s casual, and fun and you’re having a good time altogether. 

“So about that bet of yours.” Your attention turns to him. “Make it twenty and we have a deal.” He speaks casually but there’s the self-confidence you’ve seen before. You couldn’t even fight the grin from your face if you tried. 

“You’re on, Widogast.” You crack your fingers as the two of you slow down at one of the statues right past the sharper turn of the fountain. “One round. Fastest to make it back to this point wins.” You receive a nod as reply. 

Three. Two. One… Go! 

Caleb has a quicker start and gains a few feet on you but has to dodge someone sliding across his path and you manage to get ahead barely a foot. You feel something grab onto your arm and watch as the wizard uses your momentum to throw himself past you. 

“That’s not fair!” He just laughs silently and you know it. Then comes the corner and you know what to do. Caleb moves to set in for the tighter corner so you move opposite, and gain the advantage in the next turn, being able to speed up much faster. You gently shove him as you do and he catches himself on another statue in the centre. You cheer but the race is not won yet. You have to stop to avoid a child stumbling and go around. By this time he’s back at your side. That’s when you see the spell components in his hand. You think fast, and take them from him in a round of surprise, and kick off fast as you can, fast as your legs allow. You feel the muscle burn, your breath heavy but the finish line is in sight. You pass it! Yes! You cheer and laugh in victory as Caleb slows down and skates up beside you. You jump and he catches you before you can lose your balance and face-plant on the ice. 

“You’ve won fair and square, schatz.” He tells you and you smile at the petname but then you realise something. He’s not remotely as out of breath as you are so your eyes narrows suspiciously and you point an accusatory finger at him. 

“Hold on just a second… You let me win…” His features are the image of innocence. The same kind of innocence of a child being caught with their hand in the cookie jar. You scoff and cross your arms. “You did! You really did let me win.” You just shake your head. 

“You were so much faster already. I couldn’t keep up-“ 

“I don’t want your excuses. I demand a rematch! No cheating, no magic and certainly no letting me win!” You might pretend to be upset but Caleb doesn’t need to be a mindreader to know you are merely joking so he holds his hands up in defence and gets in position. You do the same and off you go once more. 

Two out of three, best out of five, best of seven? It keeps going as long as you’re having fun, until your limbs ache, until the sun sets and the fairy lights spark to life. Only then do you slow down. Not much longer on this spell that keeps your skates going, or so Caleb claims but he’s happy to cast it again if you want to. It’s okay though. Maybe some more strolling will do you good. Maybe some hot chocolate, preferably with a shot of rum in it will do you both quite well. Right before the spell ends, when you both sit on the fountain ledge you turn to Caleb, put your hand on his cheek as his rests overtop of it. 

“Thank you, Caleb. Today was wonderful.” You gently bring your lips to his. A simple and chaste kiss. Today has been a good day. You’ve managed to remind him he wishes to do this every year. 

When you pull away you hear some commotion from a tavern in the same square, the door is thrown open, or rather someone is tossed out, and the distinct shape of a giant pink sparkly lollipop has you both look at each other. The shouts that follow reminisce of your friends and with that look, hand in hand you run over, ready for battle, ready to help your friends in their tavern brawl like it is any other day. This really was a wonderful day. Let’s do it again. 

[gxilgramore]

Long time no see!

I've been watching some classic who lately to see what's the fuss is about and... Yeah it's cool! I mean, all that i said in my rant on Blood of the Daleks still rings true, the pacing and narrative style is an acquired taste that is hard to get for a person like me, but don't get mistaken, i still liked what i watched, so much so I'll give a ranking from the episodes I've watched, im watching the episodes randomly, mainly the ones that interested me the most, so let's go.

From "worst" to best:

Season 18 - Full Circle

Honestly didn't grab me, i found it to be kinda boring, even though there is interesting thematic stuff here to be analysed. I liked Adric, but he was like this episode, confusing and kinda boring for a big part, the pacing is really slow, but i think this time for more narrative reasons than classic whoish shananigans, the weakest one by far.

50/100

Season 4 - Tomb of Cyberman

The second Doctor is the incarnation im most intrigued about, from the actor to the mystique of the lost episodes, and tomb being one his most iconic outings i though id see what makes him so beloved................ i was wrong, but not a 100%. I don't see much reasons to love the 2nd based on his scenes in this, not even the companions, they kinda don't do or show much, the episode focus more on the other parts of the narrative that being totally honest are boring, the Cyberman scene was really cool but also they don't have much of a presence on this episode, underwhelming more than i wanted to be, a bad first impression of the era, i'll try The Mind Robber or the Invasion later to see if its just me or the episode was boring.

69/100

Season 10 - The Five Doctors

Now it starts the episodes that i liked it, and this one is... nice! The Davidson doctor the is the one im the least interested in watching and this episode kinda helped it because i didnt see anything in him that wowed me, but the other doctors all of them offered me something interesting to care about them, i dont have much to say in this episode besides it was fun and all.

71/100

Season 25 - Remembrance of the Daleks

I might be admitting a crime with this one but it didn't grab me a lot, it was the first classic who story i've ever watched a couple months before this marathon and probably that's the reason i find to be so underwhelming to me, i don't remember much scenes besides the "unlimited chocolate pudding one", i will rewatch later once i watch Fenric and Happiness Patrol, but at the time, i didnt leave a mark on me.

72/100

Season 13 - Pyramids of Mars

I watched this episode at the height of the Sutekh rumours in the new series and liked more than i thought i would, yeah, the pacing is the biggest issue like ever but i loved Sarah and the 4th dynamic, they fell like old siblings with their constant quips and jokes, i also loved Sutekh (more than in those recent episodes btw) he was sitting throughout the 4 episodes but it was menacing and iconic, his voice is the biggest contributor, the soft but raspy tone, the way he emphasises certain words in a sentence giving them more weight, it sticks in my mind like bubblegum, i love also how they showed that Sutekh is a big deal in case he is freed better than those new episodes, Devils Chord literally rips off a scene from this episode where 4th shows Sarah the possible future where the world ends, it's great, a good episode all around.

75/100

Season 12 - Genesis of the Daleks

Ok, this one is kind of amazing, yeah it is a 6 parter, it gets boring after a while but what i love here is the themes on how the wrong point of view in survival and evolution could lead to genocide, if we took the nazi angle yeah it was kinda revisionist implying that the actual scientists would be against such a thing ignoring how fascism works as a thing that reaches the masses and also it can be seen as a kind of shallow portrayal that weakens the message but i see that this episode can have more reads than one, its cool to see the doctors dilemma and all. And also i love the anxiety and desperation of most of these episodes, with our heroes really near to get what they need but being stopped by some force, its great.

77/100

Season 7 - Spearhead from Space

Yeah, i was watching a lot of 4th Doctor but i also watched this one and it was great, i dont have much to say besides that i loved it, i like 3rd and his dynamic with Liz, at least their first interaction was great.

80/100

Season 17 - City of Death

The first one i watched in this recent marathon and its great, im shocked at how funny this one was, mainly in the last two parts, the downside is that i kinda dont get the hype still, even though i liked it, this episode in fact condenses all my opinions on classic who, i like what i see but i dont see what yall see, if that makes sense at all, still, was really fun. 84/100

Season 14 - The Deadly Assassin

By far my favorite from the classic series, at least at the moment, it's intense and interesting, starts with a gut punch of a mystery and it builds really well, and still treats timelords with certain respect even when showing them as burocrats, granted, everything i said in the previous section still true but this one grabbed me a lot. Even with the weird pacing in part 3.

90/100

And at the moment thats it, i dont know how long the Doccy Who hyper fixation will stay but ill enjoy it by watching more classic who episodes, the underline is that, i like what i see but all the problems i talked in my Blood of the Daleks review/rant still are true, i dont know if ill ever "get it" but i will keep watching to see whats going to resonate with me.

I have one more review coming up soon, probably tomorrow morning so stay tuned to that

[lightbarebunnies]

Hello! I saw that you have opened up requests and are willing to do match-ups! Could I possibly have one, please?

I'm 5'9'' and a little on the heavier side (she/her) with shoulder length, curly red hair and gray/blue eyes.

As for my hobbies, I love to draw and paint (charcoal is one of my favorite mediums) and I absolutely love creating fantasy world maps (I'm currently working on one for my Capstone creative writing final). I love writing and am in the process of writing my first book (what the map is for). I love gardening and I have a very large veggie and herb selection (My apple and peach trees are supposed to fruit next year and I'm super excited!). Foraging is something that I love. I love playing rhythm games, TTRP's ( I often play as a rogue), and video games. My favorite food would be Soba, my favorite drink would be Vanilla milk tea. Music wise, some of my favorite bands include Icon for Hire, Ghost Town, Good with Grenades, Skillet, and Breaking Benjamin.

Personality wise, I'm incredibly shy at first but when you get to know me, I can be more outgoing, I'll just need to recharge the social battery afterwards. I want to be helpful but there are times that I'm not really sure how. In high school, I was the mom friend. Anything you needed, it was most likely in the backpack. Snacks, water, lotion, a spoon (I carried a set of silverware all the time cause you never know), pain meds, hygiene products. A swiss army bag, is what my teachers called it. I have very high anxiety and can get overwhelmed very easily if I'm not careful.

My love language (giving) would be acts of service and quality time. Receiving would be physical touch and quality time.

I'm sorry if this is a lot, I wasn't sure what to put here so I just did a bit of everything! Take your time and remember to take care of yourself!

Oohh, this was a fun! It's my first time writing one of these - I might've gotten a little carried away though. If you aren't interested in my thought/decision making process, skip to the bottom!

Alright. So, I (as an autistic person) have a special interest in typology. While I'm not an expert by any means, it's just a really enjoyable way for me to analyse things - will be using some of the terms in my explanation. You don't need to know anything about enneagrams really, they're just an easy way for me to use talking points :3

Alright, initially, I decided to just think of anyone I think would have something in common with you. The list of your potential matches were

Natsume (Major Gamer, a fan of fantasy and thus creative writing, a pretty talented gardener)

Madara (Same favorite food! He is also in Kaori, which is a tea appreciation circle.)

Rei (LOVES gardens, but not so much gardening itself. Would definitely keep you company while you worked, provided there's shade. Perhaps he's introduced to you through his tea-loving brother?)

Eichi (He too is a writer, an enjoyer of gardens, and tea!)

Niki (I can imagine a nice dynamic between the two of you, he'd go crazy for your fresh produce, but you'd likely need to keep him from eating all of it.)

Ritsu (Tea fan, and a member of CRAFTMONSTER. I think he'd really benefit from your prepared-ness, as well!)

Midori (Gardener!)

Yuzuru (He is an artist!)

With that in mind, I did a little bit of just general thinking. At that point your top choices were Rei and Madara, but I wanted to delve a bit deeper.

Once I did that, I looked through each character's enneagrams to get a general idea what their basic fear and desires are. Yuzuru - 1 (Fears imbalance and being corrupted, desires balance and integrity.) Rei - 2 (Fears being unloved or unlovable, desires to be appreciated.) Eichi - 3 (Fears being considered worthless, desired to be needed) Natsume - 5 (Fears incapability or being unable to help oneself, desires understanding of the world around them) Midori - 6 (Fears being alone or lacking support, desires guidance) Madara - 7 (Fears being trapped, desires a feeling of contentedness) Niki, Ritsu - 9 (Fears loss and social rifts, desires peace of ones social circle)

I'm not the best at typing people currently, but from what you described I can see you having type 2 or 6 influences, likely as 6w5 or a 3w2.

Then I considered what you would bring to a relationship, your love languages both giving and receiving, and how they fit into everything. You're a carer. You care, you think of every possibility and prepare for anything. You then provide that to those you love so that they also have anything they may need. In my opinion - Rei, and Madara are the two that need to just have someone to be their person, the ones who sticks around even after they break down and stop being 'useful' or 'appealing'. One of the key differences between those two is that Madara is more extroverted and Rei is more introverted.

With all of that in mind… I'd match you with Rei!

You and Rei would have a Morticia and Gomez Addams type of romance. He adores you, you're absolutely enamored with him, and no one would ever question your relationship.

Rei usually brings an umbrella with him as he watches you tend to your garden, chatting with you about practically anything - if it's with you, it's bound to be entertaining. He's deeply interested in your creative writing, and likely would pick up TTRPGS to play them alongside you. He's a bit of a social chameleon, able to match your energy regardless of what level.

You offer him a place to belong, a home he can always return to. His clinginess can come and go, especially if he's in need of your attention, which comes from his lonely childhood. I think after some time he'd be far more comfortable and trusting of your bond... but he's still the type to always want to have a hand on you when you're in public. Resting it on the small of your back, holding your hand, his arm around your shoulder - it doesn't matter, he just wants to feel you there.

He tends to your needs, doing his best to ease your anxieties and reassuring you that things will be okay, and that he isn't going anywhere. When times are tough, and you feel totally overwhelmed, Rei would pull you close (likely to cuddle on a couch more often than his coffin) and just hold you. He wants you to feel him, his hand combing through your curls, to be reminded that in this moment you're here, with him, in the present. He'll ask you to share what it is that's on your mind, listening attentively as you lay in his arms. While not completely fearless himself, Rei is more than happy to battle your demons.

[tgammsideblog]

Tgamm S1 Ep 16-B ¨The Internship¨ Episode analysis

Molly is assigned to be Weird Larry’s intern as part of a school project, something she isn’t thrilled about. Meanwhile, Scratch looks for an intern that can easily follow his orders...

Episode Writer: Cynthia Furey ¨The Internship¨ is an episode that is a bit complicated to talk about because it does gets some things right while other things are excuted poorly, leaving bad implications as result. Molly’s plot is pretty good but Scratch’s plot feels forced and out of character. So, to analyse this episode, i’m going to first talk about Molly’s story and later discuss Scratch’s story, explaining went wrong with it.

First, Molly’s story: Molly is assigned to be Weird Larry’s intern, the character that asked Molly to helped him searching his pet skunk on ¨All Systems No¨. Molly isn’t fond of Larry, probably because she considers him too extravagant of a person. She mentions a few times in the episode that Larry’s workshop is ¨where happy memories go to die¨. She sees it as a place that doesn’t make other people happy, only miserable.

Molly has a hard time understanding what is the purpose of Larry’s workshop. She doesn’t know how she could enhappify other people with broken watches and old antique. She gets frustrated with the place so much she asks her teacher to change her to other mentor than isn’t Larry. The teacher reminds Molly that she is always able to see the bright side of things, which inspires the teen to ¨enhappify¨ the workshop.

The song sequence involves her cleaning and changing Larry’s work place into something she considers more ¨happy¨. The lyrics of the song capture Molly’s personality pretty well in how she tries to be optimistic and help her community. It’s a positive nice catchy song that i often find myself listening to. Other aspect that makes the sequence work is showing this flaw that Molly has of pushing the way she sees the world into other people without trying to see things from their perspective. Since she is still a teenager, she still struggles others point of views.

Weird Larry is shocked when he finds out his workplace got completely changed. He explains to Molly that he has his own system to find things easily. Later Molly sadly expresses that things aren’t working out between them. Seeing her reaction, Larry shows to Molly the project he has been working on: a big dragon built out of the materials people bring to him. He lets her play with it and later puts a crown on her for ¨defeating¨ the dragon.

With this, Molly is able to understand that Weird Larry is an inventor and, much like her, he uses his inventions to ¨enhappify¨ others. The difference is that Molly does it with multiple people while Larry prefers to doing it one person at time. I think it is nice lesson to learn for a character whose goal is making the world a better place. There are different ways to do that depending on the person and their skills.

On the other hand, there is Scratch’s story, which is the part that made some fans feel uncomfortable while watching it. Scratch’s B plot is about him taking advantage of his mentor powers and abusing them to make Reggie, his intern, do what he demands. In the first half of the episode, Scratch’s actions make more or less sense for his character: He is someone who struggles empathizing with people outside his social circle,unlike Molly, and he has terrible example of bosses who push him around, make fun of him and are constantly abusing him emotionally. This leads him to copy their behaviour, thinking that is the correct way to be a boss. The issue comes the second part of the episode when he starts yelling at Reggie for trivial things and chasing him for giving him a very specific food. There is difference between him making Reggie do his chores and treating him so poorly. Scratch rarely goes this overboard when it comes to being rude to others.

What makes this B plot fail is when Reggie goes to report to the Ghost Council about Scratch’s mentorship and it ends up potraying his poor treatment as a good thing that helped him learn some skills. I’m sure this wasn’t part of the writer’s intention but Reggie’s dialogue comes off wrong in this scene.

Another issue is that Scratch doesn’t get any serious consequences of being abusive to Reggie aside from Reggie becoming his superior and being yelled at to make him a sandwich. It doesn’t help that this wasn’t given any proper continuity in the season, which feels like wasted potential and makes the B plot kind of worthless. If it had some continuation, it would probably be less harsher with this episode.

In conclusion:¨The Internship¨ is mediocre episode that leaves a mixed impression after watching it thanks to Scratch’s side plot. It’s still worth of watching for Molly’s plot, which is well executed, and even for Scratch’s behaviour despite of not having a satisfying conclusion to it. It’s the weakest episode of this season if you ask me.

[soapkaars]

So, yesterday I made a poll before going to bed and, while it isn’t done yet, consensus seems to be to draw more obscure Lorre characters.

Of course, Lorre being a somewhat obscure actor, what would make an obscure Lorre character? Well, M, The Man Who Knew too Much, the Maltese Falcon, Arsenic and Old Lace can be taken off the list because they're somewhat known in the mainstream. They're also usually the films that draw people into the Lorre fandom! The Secret Agent, Mad Love, Crime and Punishment, The Stranger on the Third Floor, and Der Verlorene also fall off, because I’ve often seen these being discussed in books about cinema, cinematic history, and classic directors. Crime and Punishment and Mad Love even feature in a '50 films you should see before you die' compilation that I have lying around somewhere! I was an Adventuress, The Boogieman will get you, You'll Find Out, the Raven, Comedy of Terrors seem to be pretty popular in fandom circles (especially where Lorre films intersect with other fandoms - like Vincent Price, Bela Lugosi, and Boris Karloff)

So I decided to focus on the films that aren’t as discussed, either in mainstream or in fandom or in film critic circles, featuring characters who seemed to cash in on Lorre's breakout film noir character: Joel Cairo. Or, as @angelamontoo once jokingly called them: 'Coel Jairo'. But I like them because they are different enough from Joel to be stand on their own, and the films they featured in are strange or interesting enough also to make fun analyses of.

First up: Kismet, the gardener studying for his civics exam and doubling as a cool knife thrower for his side gig. I like him a lot. I remember waiting for days to torrent My Favourite Brunette, and having to watch it as a thumbnail because it was the only version I could download. I was so entranced by Kismet. I loved how the film changed in tone whenever he came around - he strengthened Bob Hope's comedy by playing his menace straight and I've always had a soft heart for the 'extremely capable henchman' trope. Bob Hope's character is also hilariously unnerved by him, and one of my favourite scenes is when he tries to throw a knife at him, and Kismet just catches it, barely changing his expression. I also love how sick Kismet is getting of Ronnie Jackson's amateurishness and can barely conceal his glee when he gets to kill him.

Next up: Gino from The Chase. I like this film. I know it's a bit of a messy film, and I once turned it off when it turned out the whole scene in Cuba was hallucinated, but when I rewatched it and watched it all the way through, it really grew on me. There’s something intriguing about the dreamlike narrative it tells, and I love the visuals. I love how Gino stands in front of the roman busts, or how we first only see his eye through the eyehole behind a little cupid head. I like the nightmarish quality of the scene where that one guy gets torn apart by dogs in the wine cellar. I like how Gino's presence overshadows the scenes in Cuba. The way he becomes the figure of Death in this film. I love the strange scene where Chuck Scott ends up in the quarantine house, lit up by gaslamps and the constant sound of crying. I love the strange dinner scene where Lorna Roman is miserable and how Gino and Eddie Roman appear to be having an affair in her presence. I was disappointed when the film tried to clarify the hallucinations because it felt to me like it dropped the ball. I could have seriously enjoyed it more if it leaned in way more into its strangeness, like Stranger on the Third Floor did.

Finally, I drew Marco from Black Angel. I'm cheating a little, because Marco's been getting a bit of a comeback lately, but I think he still counts. I loved this film too. It’s such a classic film noir, with the flashbacks, the red herring villain (Marco), the drunken antihero, the psychological drama, the twist, the camera angles and effects… It’s exactly the kind of film I'd use as an example to explain the whole genre. I like Marco. Not least because he's one of the few Lorre characters who gets to see the end, but also because he's so well-worn… if that makes sense? Like he's seen it all. He's been around, he knows what people try. He manages his nightclub and that’s that. The film ends but you feel like Marco's club will still remain. Perhaps there are traces of it still around. I like Lucky, Marco's heavy. His right-hand man. His silly little rabbit. Does he call you that? Yes. No.

I hope you liked these!

[cptn-m]

One Piece chapter 1101 review

I'm very pleased to finally see full colour schemes for all the Vegapunks. Sure, we got a hint at their intended appearances with the vol 106 animated trailer, but I'm glad Oda found the chance to circle back around and give us his vision by his own hands, because there are some differences. Putting this next to the Strawhat outfits and environments on the vol 106 cover and you can see that Egghead is going to be a vibrant piece of work when the colour manga catches up to it a few years from now.

Despite the milestone colour spread, this is another transitional chapter plotwise, continuing to fill in the timeline as the present day looms. Maybe Oda really is just looking to show everything up to Sabaody and/or the present and is fine taking his time with it, but I can't shake the feeling that there's one last tragic twist to Kuma's story yet to be revealed. But even without immediate plot progression or huge reveals, this ends up being another emotionally impactful, as so much of this flashback has already managed to be.

Kuma's visit to Windmill Village ends up not being a huge deal in the long term, something done more to provide a cliffhanger than anything else. As expected, Kuma's orders have nothing to do with Luffy or Goa. But copout though it might be, it does give Oda the chance to show us a little more of Dragon's motivations and personality. I get it, the high stakes battle he's fighting, he can't afford to give the Government the leverage of using his child against him (as we saw with Roger and Ace, you don't even have to be alive for them to try it), and he obviously cares enough that he knows it would work.

What's interesting is that the conversation with Dragon happens in flashback, seemingly when they were in the area for the Grey Terminal fire. Interesting that Kuma has chosen, of his own volition, to check in on Luffy as he passes by. Does he see it as a favour to Dragon, who he can no longer contact, to check in on the kid while he has a chance? Does he feel the similarity between himself and the Revolutionary, both forced to keep a distance from their children, and visit Luffy as penance for not being able to see Bonney. And you would hope this development at least slightly dampens the number of people online memeing on Dragon for being a deadbeat or whatever. Probably not though. Memes are short and snappy and more fun to spread the nuance, even it becomes impossible to have serious discussions on places like Reddit because you can't tell what level of irony anyone's on when they seem to be experiencing the story purely through agenda and slander posting.

So, I initially thought I'd dedicate a section of this review to going back over Kuma's scenes in Thriller Bark and Sabaody and analysing his actions with what we know now. Obviously it was clear from the start that Kuma went into Sabaody intending to save the crew, but somehow I got it in my head over the years that Kuma's actions and intentions at Thriller Bark were more ambiguous, and that there was a chance he'd sincerely tried to take out the crew before learning more or changing his mind later. But then I rediscovered the scene right after Zoro's big moment where he says that Luffy has exceptional friends because "he's your son, after all… Dragon." So yeah, Kuma knew from the start. Oda knew Kuma knew from the start. There's no possible retcon or new motive to look closely at, just the same info we've actually had since 2008. I love these kinds of discoveries (or rediscoveries in my case); they're going to make the series so much fun to fully reread when it's done.

There are some things of note though. I feel very differently about Kuma asking Nami if Ace was really Luffy's brother having seen the conversation about Dragon's weakness in this chapter. Ivan would also mistakenly worry that there was a blood connection that would drive Dragon to do something rash when he heard they were brothers during the Impel Down arc.

Knowing that by this point on the timeline Bonney had already escaped does shed a little light on Kuma's willingness to toy with the crew and let them go, despite Moria deriding him as the only Warlord who follows orders a few chapters earlier. I wonder how differently things would have played out if he'd been put up against Luffy while the knife was still at his daughter's throat.

My main thought about Kuma at Sabaody is that Sentomaru doesn't seem like he's written to be as familiar with Kuma as we know he would be. "But no one knows if that's true," he says of the rumour that Kuma's powers send people flying for three days and nights, as if he couldn't have just asked at some point. When he calls Kuma out for attacking the Pacifista he calls him 'bear-man' instead of his name. But maybe the harshness is something he's putting on to distance himself, knowing what his boss is going to be forced to do to Kuma in the near future.

But getting back to the chapter at hand, I was caught off-guard by how upset I was when Kuma's letter was intercepted and destroyed. His message is simple but heartfelt, but you understand how much it would mean to a child still too young to understand why her dad isn't around and what's been done for her. Alpha's choice to destroy the communication is just so callous and unnecessary, far beyond what was needed to keep a hostage, and you can't help but empathising with how let down and abandoned the young Bonney must have felt. If anything, keeping her satisfied with the promise of going to the sea in the future in the letters must have made it easier to keep the girl under control. But Alpha, as the kind of person who'd take on this kind of assignment for the Government, just needs to be cruel.

I'm not sure what to make of Stussy's comment about free will. She's perhaps already gone into Government service, but she also gets to moonlight as an underworld boss, and obviously retains her loyalty to Vegapunk, given what's happened at present-day Egghead. What parts of this vibrant career did she choose, and which ones were expected of her as one of Vegapunk's successes?

It's heartwarming to see the locals and Conny come together to dupe the Government and facilitate Bonney's escape. The simple joy of getting to go outside for the first time in years is cathartic for Bonney as well. Similar to the fishmen trapped at the bottom of the ocean, Oda uses the absence of the sun as a symbol of oppression, and it didn't even occur to me how similar Bonney's indoors incarceration was until she was appreciating the sun in this sequence. No wonder she got so into her dad's stories about a liberating sun god. Whether you're a prisoner, a slave, an underclass, a hostage or just unwell, the sun is freedom; its absence, chains.

I actually don't love what Bonney is able to do with her fruit at the end. It feels too extreme. Ageing like a particular person? Fine. Getting super buff or anything else a human could reasonably achieve in a lifetime? Yeah, great. But I don't get what the power is drawing on to warp her appearance that much. And while she was kept conveniently unconscious (fainted because of bugs) for the Gear Five sequence in the lower lab and blasted away before the transformation in the upper one to keep her from recognising Nika, she did personally stop Luffy from using Gear Three against a Pacifista near the start of the arc, so you'd think there'd be some kind of conversation to be had there. Could be that she was just too distracted thinking about her dad to connect the dots at the time though.

But weird power-releated stuff aside, it is immensely satisfying to see Alpha cop it after what she's done. And to see Bonney win her freedom and take to the seas like she always dreamed.

I think the flashback is nearing its end as we close out the year and start exploring volume 109, but there's still this gut feeling that there's one last stinger or final bit of info we haven't been shown yet, maybe relating to the moment Kuma fully loses himself. But even if we're just taking it slow filling in the time up to the present with Kuma's perspective of Thriller Bark, Sabaody, protecting the Sunny and the Reverie, Oda's proven here that he can still make low-plot chapters tug on the heartstrings, cuing up a quick but effective combo of frustration followed by catharsis. Very much looking forward to all this pain and suffering and emotional build-up coming to a head when Kuma arrives at Egghead in the present, presumably in the new year.

Wordpress!

[blueflyingturtleontheway]

Trick or treat?

Frida leaned deeper over her notebook. A few more delicate lines here and one long to close the circle there... And a few darker ones to convey the structure of the fabric...

"Hey, whatcha drawing?" Ángel's voice rung right over her right ear, causing her to jump in her seat.

"It looks cool," he continued trying to get a better view at her sketch.

"Nothing much." She quickly turned around and covered her notebook with her arm.

"Ángel! You don't just look over people's shoulders into what they're doing!" Gabe swatted his friend lightly in the arm, but then added after a pause. "It did look cool though."

Frida cringed at his comment realizing it's two against one and finally uncovered her drawing.

"It's just a costume design. Strictly hypothetical."

"Woah, it's so pretty!" Ángel called out immediately grabbing the sketchbook. "Are you a jaquin?"

"Yeah," Frida blushed a little. "I really like the stories about them and after I saw one myself..." her eyes sparkled as she recalled the memory. "They're just so beautiful, it immediately inspired me to draw!"

Gabe and Ángel hummed in agreement still analysing the design.

"So are you going to a costume party then?" Gabe asked.

Frida only sighed in response.

"I wish, but Halloween isn't really celebrated in Avalor so..."

"Ooh what's Halloween?" Ángel scooted to the edge of the desk he was sitting on and leaned even more to Frida. Gabe also leaned on the desk and encouraged her with a nod to explain.

"Well, it's this holiday we have in Maarsvik the night before Día de los Muertos and honestly, it's all about having fun, going to spooky themed parties, doing pranks and telling scary stories..."

"Oh I like this part!" Ángel cut in, earning himself a roll of their eyes and a giggle from his friends.

"And dress up?" Gabe came back to the topic.

"Yup, when we were in time for Halloween in Maarsvik, we'd always go to some party where everyone be dressed up and there'd be various games and, um," Frida bit her tongue at the last moment. "You know loud celebrations."

"That sounds sooo cool!" Ángel was already captivated by the idea.

"So you'd dress up as magical creatures for the party?" Gabe asked to make sure.

"Not only!" Frida quickly flipped through her sketchbook to show the boys a few other designs. "You could also dress as a historical figure, celebrity, or even your favourite character from a book or a play."

"You could go as that Antonio Gama guy." Ángel nudged Gabe on the arm and then giggled. "Or even an actual knight!"

Gabe put his hand to his chin in thought.

"That does sound like fun," he said finally.

"Yes!" Ángel punches the air with enthusiasm. "We should totally do Halloween!"

"You mean here?" Frida raised her brows in surprise.

"Yeah! Even literally here, in school!"

Frida's eyes widened as she imagined the school decorated with orange and black serpentines and pumpkins. But as quickly as a smile appeared on her face, it disappeared.

"I don't know, do you really think people would want to do that?" She but her lip and looked between her friends.

"Pff absolutely" Ángel swatted his hand. "Halloween is awesome I already love it."

"Ángel you just learned about it five minutes ago," Gabe reminded him earning himself an overdramatically offended gasp. "But it does sound cool so I'm sure there would be people who'd like to join us."

"And you think we could actually go in costumes to class that day?" Frida asked hopefully.

"Yesss that will be even better than theatre." You could almost see the cogs in Ángel's brain turning as he started to figure out his costume.

"And if we don't do it exactly on the 31st, but on a nearest Wednesday instead, we can try convincing señora Halconer to make a small party on her lesson." Gabe was already obviously involved in this idea.

Frida felt a wide grin creep up on her face.

"Oh I really hope others will join in, this will be so much fun, guys!"

And this, I suppose, is either a treat or a trick depending on how well I characterized your OCs XD

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Merlin has to explain an odd nickname,

only after Gwaine has a Fun (read: Stupid) idea. It’s not... illegal (not most of it, anyway), just... frowned upon.

TW: Bruises/minor injuries and fighting?

“What’s everyone up to later tonight then?”

Gwaine’s voice booms across the mostly empty training field, and it’s inhabitants look to him warily. The King, his manservant, and the First Knight just raise an eyebrow each as Sir Percival responds:

“Got no plans, something in mind?”

Sir Elyan is quick to follow:

“Having my night ruined by whatever you’re about to suggest.”

Sir Lancelot just grins, and Sir Mordred nods to Percival in agreement. Gwaine looks to The King:

“Sire?”

“I’ve a feeling you’re about to tell me.”

Gwaine's grin grows and moves his gaze over:

“Merls?”

“Sorry, Gwaine. I promised to run some errands for Gaius after I finish with the prat, and I’ve got a few other bits and pieces I need to get done as well.-”

He claps his hands together and smiles brightly before continuing:

“-Speaking of, I actually need to get going.-”

He turns briefly to Arthur, yanking his hair to catch his attention before turning and walking back towards the castle, speaking over his shoulder:

“-I’ll send George out to help with the rest of training, I’ve got a shit ton of laundry to do.”

Arthur scowls but doesn’t say anything, and Gwaine pouts and mutters a quiet “You’re no fun,”; the rambunctious knight knows he isn’t going to get anywhere, having lost this argument many a time, and he finally looks over to Sir Leon:

“M’Lord?”

The knight grimaces, regretting more with every word out of Gwaine’s mouth mentioning to him that he’s the only Noble Born among The King’s closest circle.

“I, for one, stand with Elyan on this. Doesn’t matter whether I say no and stay well away, I’ve not got Merlin’s skill in sneaking around and I’ll still end up tangled up in whatever mayhem you have planned, so lay it on us.”

Gwaine just grins proudly, happy to have all bar one in on his little plot. He does however tap the side of his nose with a finger, as he winks conspiratorially:

“Ah, that would be telling. Meet me by the castle gates at about an hour before midnight. I promise I’m not just dragging you to the tavern but I... uh, well... whilst I was in the tavern I heard a pretty solid rumour, more than once, about a certain something I’m eager to try out.”

Arthur looks doubtful, giving Gwaine a suspicious up and down look before slowly speaking:

“Not the tavern?”

Gwaine nods and crosses his hand over his heart obnoxiously:

“Cross my heart, not the tavern. It’s a special, rare opportunity to... well... have fun! So come on, who’s in? It’s not like any of us have anything on in the morning, and I promise it’s not illegal.”

The knight receives a round of nods and agreements, varying in enthusiasm, and that keeps him mostly quiet for the rest of the afternoon, bar his knowing, excited grin, and loud ”I’ll see you all later, then!” as they re-enter the castle and go their separate ways. 

~

No one had any idea what to expect. They all talk of course, analysing Gwaine’s word choice and cheeky grin from that morning, but ten minutes after they had all met at the citadel gates, they’re still waiting for the rogue knight to join them and explain what the hell is going on. It’s late, a half hour before midnight, and Arthur is about ready to give up and go back to his chambers when Gwaine jogs around the corner, out of breath and red in the face:

“Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t find my boot and then I was going to double check that Merlin isn’t just sleeping on us, but that involved potentially waking Gaius trying to sneak into our boy’s room, and I didn’t fancy a cuffed ear.-”

He takes a moment to catch his breath as the rest of the knights roll their eyes, before he dons his wild grin and begins leading the way out of the castle courtyard and into the city:

“-Come on, officially it started hours ago, but the interesting stuff won’t kick off for a while yet.”

It’s Elyan, used to Gwaine’s antics but not a fan of being kept in the dark, that huffs as they all follow like ducklings:

“And where exactly are we going?”

Gwaine turns on the spot, walking backwards down the deserted cobbled pathways as he shrugs his shoulders and answers:

“That, my friend, is still a surprise.”

They all roll their eyes again as he turns around again and continues his march, Elyan and Mordred the most frustrated and nervous, and the others just sort of resigned to it, on a spectrum between annoyed and amused. 

It doesn’t take them long to reach their destination, and true to Gwaine’s word, it isn’t the tavern. They actually ended up at the back entrance of one of the smaller seamstresses’ places in the very lower town, and this time it’s Leon who interrupts Gwaine’s cheerful humming, stepping in front of the other knight before he can pull open the door:

“Gwaine I swear to all that you may possibly find even remotely holy, have you brought us down here just to break into a small business?”

Gwaine winks and shakes his head, pushing Leon aside and opening the door. They all realise with just a little bit of confusion that it wasn’t locked, and there was quite the amount of noise coming from somewhere below them:

“Come on, I promised you it wasn’t illegal, didn’t I? They leave the back door unlocked, it’s sort of assumed that the only people coming in know exactly where they’re going, and luckily, I’m quite the eavesdropper, so go on then, in we all go.”

The entrance does not in fact lead them to the back of the seamstresses’ store, like they’d expected, but opens immediately on to a set of steep steps. Gwaine waves them all to go in before him, shutting the door behind himself as he follows them down, the noise growing with every step they take. When they eventually reach the bottom, there’s a short corridor that leads to yet another door, and it’s behind there that all the noise comes from. There’s yelling, and the occasional chiming of a bell, but none of them can make out what is being said, and Gwaine pushes himself through to the front, turning around and raising his hood pointedly, and not opening the door until everyone else follows suit.

The noise grows impossibly louder when he opens the door, and light spills into the corridor from the multiple lit torches around the room. The heat is almost unbearable, and with so many bodies packed into one room, it’s unsurprising. He leads the group through the boisterous crowds, careful not to lose anyone as they find a small clearing near a back corner. He finally turns to them as they all look around, trying to figure out what exactly it is they’ve just walked into:

“This, my dearest friends, is the semi-final evening of this season’s fighting ring!”

They all stare at him, deadpan, and it’s Mordred that first yells over the crowds:

“Aren’t underground fighting rings illegal?”

Gwaine’s grin grows as he waggles his eyebrows and yells back an answer, looking pointedly to Leon and Arthur:

“Nope!! Frowned upon, maybe, within the upper classes, but as long as the rules are followed it’s perfectly legal. Thought it might give us an evening of slightly riotous fun, without getting The Princesses’ or The Lord’s knickers in a twist!”

Mordred shakes his head with a short huff of laughter, though Elyan and Percival are quick to join in on Gwaine’s grinning. Leon and Arthur still look mildly annoyed, but the rambunctious knight can also tell that they’re just playing it up a bit and are secretly intrigued by the idea. Leon proves this when he waves a hand at the match board on the other side of the room:

“If this is the semi-final, then why are there so many fights up on the board for tonight?”

Gwaine puts an arm around the taller man’s shoulders and pulls him down, much to Leon’s chagrin, as he explains:

“From the quarters onwards, everyone has to fight everyone. Plus the last couple weeks of the season also run the qualifiers for the next season. You get into the semi-final, you automatically qualify, you want to get in otherwise, you need to put your name down and be matched up. You can add your name to the list right up until about an hour before the final fight of the season, then it’s qualifiers over. Sometimes these last hours into the morning, depending on how many names get put down.”

Arthur turns to the knight with a slightly doubtful raised eyebrow:

“I thought you said you’d overheard a conversation in the tavern, how do you know all this?”

Gwaine blushes slightly as he mutters, unheard over the din:

“Damn, didn’t think you’d catch on to that.-”

but speaks up with his usual grin:

“-You got me, I actually pestered the blokes talking about it until they told me everything, didn’t get into a brawl though! Promise!”

The King glances down at his perpetually bruised knuckles with a raised eyebrow:

“I’m sure.”

~

They’d missed most of the night’s qualifying rounds, but Gwaine said that was deliberate. They normally start around mid-afternoon and are mostly boring; sometimes it’s easy to see a winner among them, but nowadays it’s just farmers who'd like a little extra cash, or squires who want to prepare for becoming a knight and are wholly unprepared for what a real punch feels like.

There are five competitors left, meaning fifteen fights. In earlier rounds, each person only has to take part in a certain number of fights, and the top number, depending on each round, move on. From the quarter finals (which takes places over three or four nights normally, to give the fighters a break) onwards, like Gwaine had explained, everyone has to fight everyone. 

The group mostly ignore the qualifying and earlier fights and stay nearer the back for a while, only hearing snippets of the announcements over the crowd. Though they can certainly tell when the favourite of the season is on, by the noise of the applause. They finally push closer to the ring when the thirteenth of the proper matches is announced. It’s then, as the fight between a guard that Arthur recognises and a truly bulking farmer is taking place, that Percival asks:

“What sort of rules make this legal?”

Everyone gathers around Gwaine as he points out various things around the room:

“Well there’s a Physician over there, he and the referee just have to make sure no one dies, if at all possible. Uhh... There are noise regulations as well, the city guards know that this sort of stuff mostly happens at night for convenience, so it has to be quiet enough that it doesn’t disturb other buildings, hence the basement. The competitors have to wrap their hands, no weapons allowed, and there are certain moves that aren’t allowed. You can punch someone wherever you want, but kicking is generally disallowed. Basically just a whole bunch of safety stuff.-”

He waves a hand over to the opposite corner, where a loud crowd is gathered around a well-lit table:

“-Plus there’s all the regulations around gambling, though it’s a tad stricter here than it is in dice halls or on card tables. All that stuff makes this legal, technically speaking. Take any of it away, the ref, or the hand wraps, or the Physician, or the low noise level, you get the guards storming the place. Oh! And as much as there’s no limit on the number of fights, there can only be two actual tournaments a year, so a season normally runs for the whole of Spring, then there’s a gap, then the whole of Autumn, then another gap.”

They all nod in understanding, starting to enjoy themselves more and more, the more they settle into the noise and overcrowded-ness. None of them make any bets or give in to Gwaine’s goading to put their names up on the board, and the night, now the early morning, seems to whiz by as the qualifiers dwindle down and the fourteenth proper match is had. Soon enough, it’s time for the final fight, and the gang each hope that this will involve the favourite that they have yet to see.

The ref, doubling as a commentator so any newcomers and people not in the front row can tell what’s going on, stands in the middle of the ring as he yells to the boisterous crowds:

“And now!! The fight we’ve all been waiting for, between this season’s two favourites to win, our very own Wall Guard-!”

Cheers go up around the room as the guard from before walks into the centre of the ring, already bruised and battered, but looking just as ready to fight as he had done hours ago as he waves a hand to the crowd:

“-And The Guard Dog!!!-”

At this, the applause gets even louder, and The Guard Dog, whoever he is —Arthur can’t quite decide if that’s an incredibly cool fighting nickname, or an incredibly stupid one—has to force himself through the jostling to be able to jump into the ring. When he does, the whole group freezes as everyone around them goes crazy, because that... that’s Merlin. That’s Merlin, stood in the ring, shirt off, hands wrapped, grinning like crazy and waving to the applause. Arthur is the first to break from his stupor, about to rip his hood down and tell everyone to scram so he can knock some sense into his servant for sneaking into a competition like this, but the referee continues:

“-Who will win? Our Wall Guard, the first ever to win every fight in his first season, or The Guard Dog, who is ironically not a guard, but who has been in the final eight times over the years, this season being his ninth, and won six of those eight finals??-”

He turns to the two men as the crowds go crazy, and the gang slowly allow themselves to be jostled backwards, partly in shock, and partly because they’re not sure they really want Merlin to notice them:

“-A clean fight you two, you know how it goes. Best of luck, and I pray the two of you got the morning off.”

No one hears this, or their replies:

“Always, Garrett. I booked two days out to nurse my bruises. Merls?”

“I’m always clean. And no such luck, you know what his majesty is like, I’ll just tell him I tripped over, he normally buys it.”

The three of them snigger, bumping fists before the referee moves to the side and the other two settle into their positions. It doesn’t really matter who wins this match, both of them have already solidified their positions in the final, but whoever wins can change the order of the next fights, so for that, and to keep it fair, the fight still has to happen.

The gang don’t let themselves be moved all the way back, they still want to be able to watch, and potentially step in if Merlin starts taking the sort of beating they know that guard can give, but they blend into the crowds a little more. 

At least they think they do.

Merlin already has a smattering of bruises, old and new, over his ribcage (his scarred ribcage, though that seems to be fuel for a later conversation), but he throws the first punch without hesitation, and it’s a strong one. It sends the guard stumbling, but Merlin follows him quickly, throwing two more before the other man finally joins the fight, swinging his fist up and catching Merlin in the jaw before he can dodge. The others wince, that definitely would’ve hurt, in fact it easily could’ve broken something, but it doesn’t deter Merlin for even a second, and the fight continues. Every hit landed seems much more impactful and painful than they had in previous fights, and the knights reckon it’s probably because of how closely they’re paying attention, because it’s Merlin. A fact which they still haven’t quite gotten over yet.

The fight seems to drag on for hours, though Arthur knows it’s only been a minute or so at most when Merlin shakes out his arms and stalks towards the guard, his face steely and his fists raised, before he reins blow after blow down on the other man. He goes down quickly, and stays down until the ref shouts an end to the match, at which point Merlin sags and takes the offered water-skin, downing it through deep, gasping breaths. He cradles a hand to his jaw briefly as he contorts his mouth and stretches his ribs, grimacing slightly with the pain, but otherwise smiling and laughing at the applause.

He leans over to help the guard up, who offers him a congratulatory, if a little shaky, smile, and the two of them walk off into the crowd, heading to some sort of back room where they can re-dress and deal with any injuries. And presumably so Merlin can collect any winnings.

The crowds begin to dissipate quickly now that the last fight is over, the only people hanging around are working the event or waiting to pick up their winnings (or pay up) at the gambling desk. Lancelot is the first to break from his stupor:

“We should tell him.”

Gwaine looks to him quickly, eyes wide and grin wider:

“We should, we should tell him, but think about this... we can only tell him once.”

Elyan and Percival snort and shake their heads at Gwaine’s antics, though Leon and Mordred look like they agree with Lancelot. It’s only when Gwaine smacks Arthur on the shoulder and raises an eyebrow that The King replies:

“Gwaine is... and I can’t believe I’m saying this, right. I want to see how much he’s willing to lie to us about this. We should keep a closer eye on him from now.”

Gwaine laughs as they all begin to slowly make their way from the building, taking lungfuls of thankfully cold air when they finally step outside, but Lancelot pales, and starts planning how he can warn Merlin.

~

Arthur doesn’t say anything about the faint bruise on Merlin’s jaw when he wakes him the next morning, but by the time afternoon training comes around, it’s turned dark and angry and purple. Not that Merlin seems too bothered about it.

After the knights all share a pointed look (Gwaine can hardly keep his glee in, and gets a few odd looks from the servant), Arthur turns to Merlin to loudly ask:

“What in God’s name happened to your jaw, Merlin?”

Merlin lets out a fake wince at the reminder, and touches his fingers to the bruise tenderly:

“Fell over late last night, smacked my face off a step. Gaius said it’s not broken though so I’ll be fine.”

Lancelot gulps as Arthur raises an eyebrow, gesturing down to Merlin’s bruised knuckles, thankfully only on one hand (the wraps protect from breaks and split skin, but bruises still appear every once in a while, depending on how hard you hit):

“Really? Because it looks like you were in a fight.”

Merlin immediately snorts and looks at Arthur like’s an idiot, hands on his hips:

“And you... what, you think that it’s more likely I of all people got into an actual fight and came out with a grand total of two bruises, than the fact that I tripped up the stairs and smacked my hand and face on the way down?”

Leon has to stop himself from whistling at Merlin’s skill in lying, and everyone wonders absent-mindedly just what else he’s lying about. Arthur’s face turns slightly sour but he quickly covers it with a smirk, conceding the point:

“Hmm, I suppose you’re right.”

~

A few hours later, Lancelot catches Merlin alone and drags him back to the Physician’s chambers:

“Merlin, they know.-”

Merlin raises an eyebrow and smiles slightly, nodding his head:

“-... which you already knew...-”

The smile grows and he nods his head again:

“-How?? And why didn’t you say anything?”

Merlin laughs like Lancelot’s asking what two plus two is:

“Lance, there were seven of you, all wearing hoods, just stood stock still in the middle of the room. I do Arthur’s laundry, I’m the one that gave Elyan that cloak, Percival’s stature is kind of... hard to miss. And I didn’t say anything because, just like Arthur and Gwaine think it’s funny to see how much I’m willing to lie, I think it’s funny to see how much they’re willing to push. This is the best entertainment I’ve had since... well... last night, actually, but you know what I mean.”

Lancelot doesn’t seem to see the funny side, huffing and shaking his head:

“Merlin, they’re planning on keeping an eye on you. If you’re not careful they’re going to follow you whilst you’re doing non fighting ring stuff—which I’m definitely going to talk to you about at some point, by the way— and they’re going to find out the truth truth.”

Merlin rolls his eyes and huffs out a gentle laugh:

“First off, they’re not that smart; I’m good at sneaking and they are terrible and following. Second off, wait a few days and tell them that you overheard someone talking about the final; it’s the same night next month, in barn two on McGuckett’s farm, just outside the city limits. That should stop them following me around too much, if they know when the next fight is. And third of all, you’re not my mother, Lance, you don’t need to talk to me about anything.”

Merlin frowns slightly as he finishes off. He loves Lance to pieces, but the age gap and the knight’s anxieties surrounding Merlin’s magic means he has a tendency to be a little condescending every once in a while. He can usually keep a lid on it, but Merlin is never very impressed when it slips through; they’re best friends, not parent and child. Lance blushes slightly and runs a hand through his hair as he responds:

“Right, sorry. You know I’m just worried, Merlin.”

Merlin’s eyes soften and he smiles, patting the knight on the shoulder:

“I know, but I looked after myself for years, I can handle Arthur just fine. Tell them about the fight, and I’ll see everyone there I suppose.”

The servant grins and Lancelot just laughs and nods, leading the two of them from the room as he continues quietly, making sure there’s no one around to overhear them:

“When did you get so good at fighting anyway? You threw some pretty hefty punches last night, Merls...-”

~

As agreed, Lancelot spends an evening in the tavern a week or so later, with a confused but agreeable Leon. After spending far too long at the bar ordering another pair of drinks, he sits himself down heavily, and whispers about what he’d overheard at the bar:

“Guess Gwaine was telling the truth: couple blokes at the bar were talking about the fighting ring thing. They’re gone now, but apparently the final is a month after the semis in some farmer’s barn just outside the city. Not sure which, though I can’t imagine it’ll be hard to figure out when we get there, they don’t have to worry about noise all the way out there.”

He figures giving every single detail might be a little suspicious, so keeps it vague but easy, and Leon, after Lance dissuades him from looking for the men he overheard, agrees that they should tell the others and plan to all go down to watch again. To make sure Merlin stays safe, of course.

~

The month passes, and no one mentions Merlin’s fading bruises or good mood in the run up to the final, nor does Merlin mention everyone’s secretive glances or unsubtle muttering.

Thankfully, by the time the night comes, Gwaine had figured out which barn the matches would be held in, and they make their way there a couple hours earlier than last time so they can watch more of the qualifying matches before the big ones start. They wear their hoods again, to stop themselves being recognised as The King and his most trusted knights, and to stop Merlin from seeing them (despite Lancelot’s knowledge that it actually just makes them more obvious to him). 

The qualifiers, like Gwaine had said last time, are fairly boring. There are a few promising competitors, but it’s mostly young upstarts, bulky farmers, and the occasional cocky knight or fairly successful guard. Arthur is very annoyed to see that the knights don’t do very well in the grand scheme of things, and when Gwaine sees his unhappy frown, he laughs and explains:

“The knights are used to fighting cleanly with swords, weighed down by armour. None of them get much practice with hand to hand, but they still think they’re hot shit, so they overestimate their own abilities and always do terribly. I don’t think a knight has ever gotten to even the quarters before. The guards always do really well though. They’ve got more discipline, having to stand still for hours on end, and when it comes to actual disaster, they’re always the first to react and start getting things done whilst the knights flounce about protecting you and making plans. Plus coming to these things... I think it’s sort of an unspoken rite of passage for the guards, most of them will compete at least once, if not they definitely come to watch.”

Arthur settles for grumbling about how hand to hand will definitely be added to the training schedule, whilst also being incredibly proud of the guard garrison. Perhaps he should bring a few guards in to help train with the hand to hand? Though that’s a plan to be made at another time.

Eventually the qualifiers finish up, and the final matches begin; Merlin isn’t in the first, but he appears soon enough, grinning like normal and kicking unexpected arse (though they think perhaps they should expect it now, considering The Guard Dog (they definitely plan on questioning that at some point) is the favourite to win) and gaining more bruises that don’t seem to bother him. It’s Leon, after the third of six matches, that asks:

“What if there’s a draw?”

Gwaine frowns slightly as he thinks, counting in his head:

“Well there’s four competitors, six fights, so it’s impossible for everyone to win the same number of matches. Two people can win two each, in which case there’s a few hours break before they have to fight each other again I think, though it’s rare for that to happen.”

The others nod in understanding, paying close attention to who’s winning what. A farmer’s son, surprising everyone with how far he had gotten at only seventeen years old and in only his second season, according to the referee, has won two matches, and so has Merlin. But there’s one more match, Merlin verses someone they don’t know, someone who’s matches they had missed in the semis. The other competitor can’t win, but he can fight to up his own standing slightly, and he can fight to make things more difficult for Merlin. If Merlin wins this, he wins the season.

Gwaine gives up on being quiet, cheering for The Guard Dog as loud as he can as the two men circle each other, though it goes undifferentiated in the screaming crowds. Merlin limps slightly, after a heavy punch clipped the side of his knee in a previous fight, and he’s definitely favouring his left hand more than he normally would, but the other guy is equally injured, barely able to open one eye and shielding a section of his ribs that are badly bruised. Like normal, Merlin is the first to throw a punch, and once things get going, it all seems to be over in a matter of moments; there’s no posturing this time, no flimsy hits to test the waters; Merlin goes for it, and he goes for it hard, knocking the other guy on his arse in about thirty seconds. He gets up again quickly, but the next time he goes down, not ten seconds later, he stays down. 

Merlin wins.

The barn explodes with applause and Merlin, after catching his breath, laughs along with them, allowing the ref to lift his aching hand high in the air as the end of the season is announced. Merlin gets plenty of pats on the back, no bad sportsmanship is tolerated in these competitions (plus he’d won the last three, now four seasons in a row, no one was really expecting anything else) from his fellow finalists, and the other competitors who had tagged along to watch. His gaze roams the huge space, seeming to look for something, or someone, before he finally lays eyes on The King; he winks and salutes, making direct eye contact with Arthur before turning and exiting the ring, heading to the back to, like normal, get changed, treated, and collect his rather hefty winnings.

Arthur freezes in place, as do the other knights, who’d all seen the exchange clear as day. It’s Leon who mutters everyone’s joint realisation:

“He must’ve known we were here the whole time.”

Elyan tilts his head, seemingly unbothered by that idea as he asks a different question:

“I wonder how much he won?”

Gwaine whistles, the crowd slowly dissipating around them:

“A pretty hefty sum, I’d wager. Enough that he can buy a round at the tavern I’m sure.”

Arthur rolls his eyes and mutters something about “the only thing that’s ever on your mind, Gwaine,” as the others laugh. They all seem to silently agree that they’re hanging around to wait for Merlin, and a quarter candle mark later he wanders out from a back room, shirt and neckerchief back on and a bag slung over his shoulder. He’s talking amicably to the young farmer’s son, seeming to encourage him to come back next season, especially since he’s already qualified by making it to the finals. The boy blushes and nods as Merlin pats him on the shoulder before finally making his way over to the huddled knights, all of whom have decided they don’t quite care if anyone recognises them and had pulled their hoods down:

“Fancy seeing you lot here, hey? I’m surprised none of you fought in the qualifiers, I was sure Gwaine would have gone for it at least.”

Leon snorts and shakes his head:

“Believe me, he tried, Arthur and I said no though.”

Merlin laughs and pats the grinning, chastised knight on the shoulder:

“Maybe season after next then, though I’ve sort of built myself a name around here, I could probably get you in without qualifying if you change your mind.”

Gwaine shakes his head, still grinning, mainly at Leon’s pale face and unhappy huff of air, but responds truthfully:

“Nah, I was joking mainly. Occasionally winning a tavern brawl is vastly different to this-”

He gesture to Merlin’s various bruises:

“-and I don’t fancy embarrassing myself.”

Mordred lets out an amused snort and smacks the knight on the back playfully:

“You embarrass yourself on a daily basis, Gwaine, I’m surprised that’s your reasoning for not wanting to fight.”

Gwaine rolls his eyes good naturedly, pushing the young knight off as they all slowly make their way out into the cold night, starting the hike back towards the city. It’s Elyan, still curious, who questions:

“Speaking of making yourself a name around here, what’s up with your nickname? The Guard Dog?”

Merlin trips slightly but manages to stop himself from falling all the way over, and Arthur rolls his eyes, once again questioning how Merlin can have the skill and discipline to win such a vicious tournament whilst also still being the clumsiest person he’s ever met. The servant seems to blush slightly as he clears his throat and begins to explain:

“Well... when I first starting competing they just called me The Servant, I guess because most people recognised me from the castle. Then after I got pretty far in my first few seasons, they started calling me The King’s Guard, because they knew I was Arthur’s personal manservant and he’d only just been crowned, and it was common knowledge that I was always running around after him on quests and stuff. Then it just sort of... evolved... into The... The Guard Dog.”

He seems to stutter on the last part of the explanation, but before Arthur can question it with narrowed eyes, Leon asks:

“How long have you even been doing this? The referee last month said you’d won, what? Six times? And been in eight finals? If there are two seasons a year that’s now four and a half years, if you include this ninth final.”

Merlin bites his lip, like he’s loath to admit it, but nods in agreement and answers the question:

“The first two seasons, I made it about half way through, which was super impressive compared to people’s expectations, but not that impressive in the grand scheme of things. Third season I got to... the semis, I think. And the fourth season I only got to the quarters. Every season since then I’ve been in the final. I came fourth once, second once, and won every other time. Including this season, that’s thirteen seasons, with seven wins. So yeah, this is the first tournament of my seventh year, the next one starts in Autumn.”

None of them say anything for a while, but Gwaine is the first to break the awkward silence:

“How on Hell’s Earth did we not notice?? It’s not like you’re unhurt.”

He pokes Merlin’s right hand and the servant winces slightly and childishly sticks his tongue out at him:

“The same reason you all thought you could wear recognisable clothes, stand together in a group of seven, and not think I’d notice. Because none of you are very bright.-”

They all scoff and begin arguing, but at Merlin’s raised eyebrow, they realise he has a point, and quickly shut up:

“-And besides, this isn’t the worse I’ve had by far. The only reason I came fourth a few years ago is because I broke two ribs in my final match of the semis. I went down really quickly in the final and had to forfeit my other matches. The year after that I won, but got a concussion and had to be carried back to Gaius. He was so mad, made me stay in bed for three days, wouldn’t let anyone come see me as punishment.”

He laughs and Leon nods, muttering:

“I remember that, we’d all thought something terrible had happened because Gaius just kept saying you were sick, but he wouldn’t get any more specific.”

Merlin winces and nods:

“Yeah, sorry. He tried to stop me competing but I told him I either competed or started punching Arthur every time he deserved it instead of letting pent up energy out during the tournaments. He agreed fairly quickly after that.”

Arthur exclaims an offended sounding “Hey!” but everyone else laughs and nods along. The King drops it quickly however, narrowing his eyes and shoving his way to Merlin’s side just as they walk through the city gates, slyly asking:

“You never said how your nickname went from The King’s Guard to The Guard Dog. Fancy letting us in on it, Merlin?”

Merlin almost falls again, and Arthur raises an eyebrow as the servant blushes and stutters:

“Uh... I don’t know, it just sort of... happened. No reason.”

Arthur puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes as they continue to walk:

“Merlin, how can you simultaneously be the best and worst liar I have ever met? Come on, out with it.”

Merlin huffs, still hesitating even as Arthur’s grip gets stronger. Percival mutters a quiet “This is bound to be good” to Elyan, who snorts and nods his head in agreement:

“Fine. IF there were a story behind that name, it would be entirely hypothetical.-”

Gwaine snorts and Arthur sighs:

“I’m not going to like this am I? Hypothetically, I mean.”

Merlin bites his lip as he shakes his head and continues:

“No, you are really not going to hypothetically like this. Ok so, there are the perfectly legal fighting tournaments, but, hypothetically, sometimes people want to compete more often, and in a... different way. So there are, occasionally, hypothetically less legal tournaments with far fewer rules. IF my nickname were to have a hypothetical story behind it, which it doesn’t, it would be because, in one of these hypothetical, illegal tournaments, with far fewer rules, I may have... hypothetically... bit someone.”

The whole group stops walking as they whirl on the bright red servant. Gwaine immediately starts laughing, but everyone else just looks variations of horrified and disgusted. Arthur is the first to speak, loudly and demandingly:

“You bit someone?!”

Merlin just throws his arms in the air, blush somehow deepening even further:

“Yes!! I wanted to win, ok?!”

Arthur just shakes his head incredulously as Elyan laughs and says:

“You wanted to win hypothetically you mean?”

Merlin nods and waves a purposeful hand in the knight’s direction:

“Yes, exactly, I hypothetically bit someone because I wanted to hypothetically win this hypothetical competition because it was... hypothetically of course, a LOT of money!”

Arthur just shakes his head, exclaiming even louder:

“Merlin, you BIT someone?!!”

The whole group chimes in this time, all bar Merlin saying in tandem:

“Hypothetically!”

Arthur shakes his head and mutters to himself “I can’t believe this... my own manservant... biting people... Dear Gods what has this Kingdom come to...” as he continues his way back up the cobbled path, taking an obvious turn towards the tavern. The others just continue to laugh as Merlin blushes and tells them to, respectfully, fuck off.

The rest of the night is spent getting slowly drunker at The Rising Sun, everyone ignoring Arthur as he, every once in a while, mutters about the ridiculousness of Merlin biting people as a way to win an illegal fighting tournament. Merlin buys all the rounds, though also gets most of his own drinks free as at least two thirds of the people filling the tavern are people who came from the barn.

I imagine it becomes a little bit of an inside joke, every time Merlin mentions doing something slightly questionable, at least one of the knights will mutter “hypothetically, of course” under their breath, to which Merlin will respond with a quiet, deadpan “woof”, much to their amusement, Arthur’s exasperation, and everyone else’s confusion.

~

THE END!!

I really enjoyed writing this lol, I actually finished it before The List was even posted. I hope ya’ll enjoy it to!!

Let me know what you think!!