#like he is everywhere in the science and technology department | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

studywurfavwasian · 3 years ago

Text

My professor is unintentionally hilarious so I started keeping a list of things he’s said.

My entire department at my school is just filled with hilarious and genuinely kind professors. I am so lucky to have them teaching me a subject that I thoroughly love and enjoy so deeply, as they are so passionate and so dedicated to encouraging academic and personal growth. Not to mention they love a good rant. My friend and I literally plan our schedules around which prof is teaching the course bc we just love some of them so much.

(This is how we ended up both enrolling for a course about Greek & Roman science & technology, where we may have to write a 2000 word essay about olives. But yk, the olive was so important to Ancient Greek society, and I love olives, so it’s fine.)

But there is this one professor who stands out from the others. For some background information, this professor was one of my first professors at my university. In my first year, he taught me three courses (Latin & Classical Mythology), and I did a Latin reading group session with him, and I had my Greek Literature course with him (so I’ve spent a lot of time studying with him). Studying Latin can be so intimidating (for good reason, the case system is absolutely overwhelming when you first start learning it), but he created such a positive environment that I ended up being able to fall in love with Latin.

This professor is not always the most...organised (he left answers in our online tests by accident at least twice), and just goes on various tangents that take up most of our lecture time. (Although, I think this trait is common in the humanities. Literally look at what I’m doing right now). He likes to go on and on about literature and Hebrew and his years in grad school where he spent hours pouring over translating Plato or Aristotle or Gorgias. I personally find this entertaining and love learning from his little tangents. Plus sometimes he says some pretty funny things. Which I will now share a selection of with you.

**For Legal Reasons (ha), take the quotation marks with a grain of salt.**

“Conserve me sounds like you’re an autumn peach waiting to be put in a jar!”

(Context: we were translating the sentence: ‘Conservate me!’ which does directly translate to ‘conserve me!’ but ‘protect me!’ is just sooooo much better.)

“I suck.” *ends the Bongo meeting*

“Did I do something stupid? I do that a lot.”

*someone asks a question* “Oh, I don’t know.”

“Sometimes I get worried that nobody can hear me, so I have to ask.” *Five minutes after nobody could hear him and he didn’t ask*

“I was driving yesterday and I saw a vanity plate, in Latin! Latin is everywhere!”

“It was all leading up to this very high point of learning Latin!”

“Is anyone listening?” *No response* “Okay.”

“This is my cat Mango” (during online classes)

*Late for a lecture and Mango jumps up on his desk* …. “oh, mango!” *exasperation*

“Does everyone get that?” *No response* “Okay.”

“I get tired of hearing myself talk.”

“There’s a problem with calling it Archaic poetry. But, I’ve called it Archaic poetry.”

“How can class be over just when we’re going to talk about Socratic Irony?” *ducks head in sadness* “I’m just going to go outside and lie down” (it was raining) “…. okay class is over. Mark this as the most pathetic class you’ve taken at [redacted].”

(Context: he showed up ten minutes late and the lecture was very disorganised (I think he did a good job!))

*Begins gesturing to the blank title slide of his powerpoint* “Notice the nice ancient map I have with ocean all the way around, and then all the continents with a nice short kind of Africa, and everything kind of roundish, smushed together, with the Mediterranean (Old world) oversized, Black Sea oversized, and everything stylized once you get out to the East.”

“Some colonial asshole probably, who lived a really dull life and wanted to oppress people.

(I can’t even remember what lecture this was from. I’m thinking it’s our geographical literature lecture. And he’s right lol.)

“Don’t tell the bartender that you’re there for the Inklings, he won’t care. It’s not like I did that or anything.” (Talking about the Eagle and Child pub)

“Scholars are fairly certain there was no access to google at this time.” (Talking about the year 280 AD)

*Everyone in the class agreed that we hate Plato.* Someone says: “I have beef with Plato!” He laughs and just dejectedly says, “aw. I love Plato.”

“A hoplite was kind of like the middle class who could afford heavy armo-- actually, you know what, we don’t need to talk about that.” *moves on and doesn’t finish his sentence*

Some other things he has done that I think are wonderful:

When we were studying Herodotus’ Histories he told us about how when he was in grad school, he used to read Herodotus to his daughter as a bed time story. It got to the point where she would ask for a Herodotus story.

Came into class, took out his laptop, wrote a website URL on the chalkboard, turned around, told us we had to go to that link and fill out a survey and then walked out of the room with all his stuff and didn’t come back for fifteen minutes.

Always had at least one typo in all his pop quizzes. On our quiz for Poetics he wrote ‘Aristotle’ as ‘ARistotle’ and my friend and I looked at each other and made pirate hooks with our fingers.

Hosted a Latin reading group in the summer and gave the people who had been studying latin for less than a year the Vulgate and Ovid’s Metamorphoses. (I gave up so quickly). But went on a ten minute ramble about the word ‘fiat’ and the subjunctive mood (which helped me a lot in second year).

While studying the Vulgate he went on a mini rant about St. Jerome and talked about his authorship when it came to his Latin translation, which spiralled into a 10 minute discussion about Hebrew and his frustrations with it.

Our pop quizzes were 5 multiple choice questions and we finished them before he finished handing them out, only for him to be shocked each time.

Agreed that the Greek Gods act like a squabbling family in the Iliad.

Laughed at my friend’s theory that between the Iliad and the Argonautica it was like they had grown up, and agreed.

Pronounces ‘circe’ like ‘sirsaayyyy’ (very long ‘ay’ sound at the end)

Whenever he writes words on the chalkboard he accidentally writes them in Greek (ancient Greek isn’t a pre-req for this class), and then has to take a minute to figure out how to write it in English.

Said: “Why does everybody read the bloody Republic? Read Symposium” only to realise like 5 minutes later THAT HE SCHEDULED US TO READ THE REPUBLIC.

TLDR - He’s a very funny man. And he’s a very good professor. He did create what is probably one of the MOST CONFUSING ESSAY QUESTION I’ve ever had the displeasure of creating a thesis for, but that’s beyond the point. I would go on forever, but this is already long.

#classics #classics major #studyblr #classics student #my department is *mwah* i love them #this is why i study what i study #even tho he's funny he teaches so much in his little rants #mango the cat #i'm sad i don't have any courses with him in the fall #watch me try and cheat my way into first year latin so i can have him again #unfortunately i have to translate CICERO #i hate cicero #academicsunite

10 notes · View notes

shallow-wordsalad · 2 years ago

Text

"Welcome Aboard" (Modern Fantasy/Sci-Fi short story, Superhero setting)

Ten years at Harvard, slaving over myriad databases and pages on the physical sciences - burning my brain down to the stem to answer questions and ask a few myself. Thesis paper after thesis paper, and finally I get my Masters in Applied Physics. It was hard work, but I'd never been so satisfied as when I was certified with a doctorate years later - having a real, actual "Dr." before my name gave me such a rush of satisfaction I was worried it'd go straight to my head. I was only 35, and I'd realized a dream I had just twenty years ago. I'd found a job with a government organization - DARVO, the Department of Allocation and Regulation of Vigilante Operations - something having to do with crimefighting on a global scale, and I was accepted after my first interview. My resume spoke for itself, I suppose.

I sat down at a table much like the ones I had back in Harvard, a long and wooden countertop dotted with seats to take along its unbroken surface. It was polished and shined so well I could see my own reflection, and I was left to enjoy the room's accommodations for a few stark minutes. Sleek décor and fresh paint on the walls spoke of a modern government office that took great care in appearing orderly. The single, boldly-placed logo they had above the podium at the sloped room's lowest end was somewhat humble, since I'd almost expected to see it printed on every door and floor tile. Around my seat were several encyclopedias - on physics, medical sciences, thermodynamics, astronomy, theology, history, the occult…As I wait in the well-lit room, I worry - am I expected to read all of these? I'm a physicist - I spent my entire adult life up until now becoming a physicist, what kind of untouchable polyglots do they hire here?

Finally, a man with a tired smile on his face enters the room, wrinkles across his brow and mouth betraying an age he tries to conceal with class and professionalism. He's older than me by about ten or twenty years, hair greying at his sides in a salt-and-pepper look he's combed and cut to maintain that air of someone absolutely in control of himself and all he surveys. His glasses sit on his nose and hang around the back of his neck by a gold-colored chain, and his suit fits his frame nicely - the marks of a man well off, but not too proud. Except that watch, which looks like it cost as much as my car.

"Good morning," He speaks to the room empty but for me and him, his voice echoing rasp before he clears his throat. "Nice to have you here. I'm Hirohito Sato, the director of this division of DARVO. Dr. Ngozi Musa, correct?"

"Yes, sir," I nod, happy to be recognized by name. "Great. I read your paper on the effects gravity has on time - a fascinating hypothesis you formed, and one I'd love to explore further. We're excited to have you here." "Thank you," I nod again, a practiced habit, but I look to the books all around my seat and on the table. "Can I ask what these other books are for?" "Oh, absolutely. Let's get right to it," He clears his throat again.

"So, Dr. Musa. Let's start off with a question - can you name a metahuman?" "A…metahuman," I'd hummed. I've heard of these - basically mutants, or super-people. The stuff you see in comic books and movies. More and more of them had been appearing since the 70s, and in the modern age it's almost impossible to live even a humble life without knowing at least one, and seeing a great deal more everywhere you go. Supposedly, about 1 in 20 people are now being born with some strange quirk of biology or talent, and it's become its own field of research, evolving rapidly with advances in technology. So, outside my field of expertise as much as it was, I spoke the name of the first one I knew of - the 'super-man' who'd turned the tide of second World War in favor of the Allied forces. A name everyone knew as much as they knew Albert Einstein, Bruce Wayne, or Tom Hanks. "Pinnacle Man. Let's start there."

"Let's…Not," He hesitates to say as much, grimacing in a way he's trying to hide. "Try something more local." "…A-alright," I think again, this time to people I knew. I'd met a few metahumans in my life - at this point who hadn't - so the name of one of my classmates in my senior year rises in my mind. "I knew a man named Benjamin Carlyle. He could grow or shrink his fingernails." "Ah, perfect. Please open that book on physics. Let's examine the part about conservation of mass." I do, of course. The book cracks open, its heavy cover thumping against the hard wooden desk. Crisp and fresh pages make their first creases and crinkles as I find the index and the page needed. "Alright. What about it?"

"Tear those pages out." "What?" "Rip them out. In fact, grab that medical textbook, too, and rip out everything having to do with the production of keratin."

I presume this is a joke, so a laugh escapes me and disappears in the uneasy quiet left behind in the air. Dr. Sato doesn't so much as crack a smile, telling me he's utterly, entirely, grimly serious about this strange request. With no other choice, I do it. The tearing sound sends painful pangs through my heart - these books were pristine and more in-depth than the thick encyclopedias I used at school.

"…Why did we do that, Dr. Sato?" The still air in the room makes me ask it just to break the pall of silence that'd settled in so strongly.

"We know about Mr. Carlyle. His ability simply creates matter at the ends of his fingernails, seemingly from nothing. It comes at no cost to his body or his metabolism, and the extensions can be clipped away safely without any lasting damage. If he were so inclined, ol' Ben could burn fingernail clippings to power a generator and provide endless energy." "Wh--but, that doesn't make any sense-" "Name another please," He doesn't humor my objection, moving right along - parrying a point he's seen and heard many times before. I try to think, my brain still wracked with questions. "What about the hero of Hong Kong? Zu…Sh--Zhu Que, that's it!"

"Perfect. Now, let's talk about her. What superhuman abilities does she have?" I struggle to recall, exactly, so direct is this questioning. "Uhm…Flight-" "Rip out everything about propulsion in atmosphere." "In-indestructibility…" "Bone density, material composition, and distribution of force." "She could…make fire…?" "Just rip up that entire thermodynamics book." I could feel my face falling. The pages are ripped out of books, and gently set aside in the vain hope I could perhaps put them back in after this madness had passed.

Dr. Sato kept asking for names, and I kept ripping pages out of brand-new texts. It started as nervousness, and I'd ask if he was sure. I'd give examples and possible theories, and he'd state empirical, researched evidence that defied those theories. It soon became anger, and with building rage I began ripping the pages to shreds. This was ridiculous, how could so many people exist that simply defy the basic laws of physics?! Why do we even have physical laws if they were just going to be torn up and thrown away by 5% of the population of the planet?! I begged him, surely there must be some examples of metahuman abilities that worked within our understanding of the universe, at least one! But he'd just tell me to name another metahuman, and more words - days' worth of experimentation - were ripped from the spines of extensively researched data. I felt despondence setting in as I wondered if the degree on my wall would be next, since all peer-reviewed science appeared to be worth less than the paper they were printed on. Then it became a dull acceptance. 'Oh, right, Velocitazer runs faster than the speed of sound, but never experiences friction,' I think, and another page is torn.

When all was said and done, I was sitting before a mass of scientific confetti. Decades, centuries of human achievement and knowledge reduced to the pitiful shreds of academia, better used for papier-mâché. Is this what the world has come to in light of superhumans proliferating across nations - this senseless dirth of intellectualism, this rejection of the sciences? Was a world of metahumans and superheroes this devoid of the basic functions of reality?

"So that's where we're starting," Dr. Sato's voice lifts my head out of my hands and untwines my fingers from my hair. "From square one. But before you get too disheartened, remember that your knowledge of physical laws - as we once understood them - will be key to researching this new evidence and redefining the field of physics. Your name will be among the pioneers who came to understand the world we live in, and the first to put logic to these illogical conundrums. This is one of DARVO's most valuable duties, Dr. Musa. Welcome aboard."

"Dr. Sato!" I called, the last bit of my defiance of this new world screaming to say something, hands slamming on the table. "Has it always been this way?! H-how long have you been studying this?! How long have you worked here?!"

"…" He does not have to ponder his answer, but simply gazes to a wall with the distant look of someone who still vividly remembers those days. "About three years." "What?! When did…how old were you when you started?!" "…I started when I was your age," He speaks like an old man talking to his grandson, and walks to the door he'd used to come in. "See you at work on Monday."

#writeblr #superhero fiction #modern fantasy #worldbuilding #mutants and masterminds #creative writing

3 notes · View notes

picnokinesis · 4 years ago

Note

your profile on ao3 mentions you like Pacific Rim have you ever considered a series 12 cast (so 13 + fam + master) pacrim au? bc weirdly enough i feel like spydoc would actually be drift compatible

OH MY DAYS ok I had to write this out on a note on my phone because I have so many thoughts, pacrim aus come like BREATHING to me, but consider:

Koschei Oakdown (he/him), teenage heir of some kind of rich and powerful business man who moved his family inland when the Kaiju attacks began. His father is essentially grooming Koschei to be his successor, but Koschei has zero interest - all he wants is to go back to the coastal city of Vancouver where he grew up, so he can stay with his best friend Theta Lungbarrow (they/them) and study things he's actually interested, like xenobiology, since he's certain that the only way to defeat the kaiju is to understand them. It only takes a few weeks for him to get sick of the whole thing and run away, heading back to Vancouver - but the day he arrives, the kaiju Karloff attacks. He survives, and finds Theta, who also survived - but their parents were not so lucky. Koschei's parents believe that he's dead, and Koschei has no intention of correcting them on that, and so him and Theta end up in the care of the state, and he begins to start studying xenobiolology. Theta, on the other hand, has become somewhat obsessed with the idea of jaegers, after watching Brawler Yuhkon fight against Karloff - the first jaeger to ever fight a kaiju - and win. They want to build jaegers and be a pilot, and even Koschei won't deny that there's no way the two of them aren't drift compatible.

Fast forward a few years - Theta and Koschei are two young but brilliant scientists working for the PPDC, Theta in J-Tech and Koschei in K-Science. Theta is working on a new technological approach to building jaegers and also messing with the Drift interface, to see if the synchronisation between pilots can be increased, whilst Koschei is looking for weaknesses in the kaiju's biology. However, they're both entirely invested in each other's research and tend to argue quite intensely in order to brainstorm and have breakthroughs - much to the despair of everyone in the j-tech and k-science departments. But one thing Theta wants more than anything is to pilot a jaeger - even though on paper they have no chance, having not been to Jaeger academy or anything. But Caitlin Lightcap (the pilot of Brawler Yuhkon and inventor of the drift interface) also didn't go to jaeger academy. She just put herself in the position where they HAD to let her in a jaeger by completing the first drift with D'onofrio and saving his life. And so, because Theta entirely lacks self preservation, they persuade Koschei that it's a good idea to test out their new drift technology on themselves. Because the other issue is funding - no one wants to support an experimental rig or jaeger design until Theta can prove that it works. So they will.

And that's EXACTLY what they do, and they're extremely lucky it doesn't kill them but they get it to work and it's fantastic. The Drift is stronger than any before it. And so (after the pair of them get pulled out of an experimental rig and get into a LOT of trouble), they manage to persuade the PPDC to 1) let them build a new jaeger and 2) be the two who pilot it, since they've alread forged a drift bond in the new interface.

And so the jaeger Gallifrey Ember is born.

BUT THEN. They have several extremely successful deployments, until one fateful night where it all goes very wrong. I'm not sure exactly what happens because this is all off the top of my head this morning and I'm currently walking to work HAHA but I'm gonna say that maybe Koschei thought there was some xenobiology knowledge that they could use to fight against this specific kaiju (which is something he's done before and it's partly why their missions are so successful) but as he goes to dig for it, he accidentally pulls up the memory of the Karloff attack, and ends up chasing the rabbit. Only, because the new interface has their minds so intertwined, it knocks the pair of them out of alignment even worse than it would have otherwise (especially since their trauma memories are from the same event) and their drift just goes completely. As you can imagine, it all goes very badly a la Gispy Danger vs Knifehead, only the city they're trying to protect gets hit pretty bad and there are a LOT of casulaties - more than ever since the jaeger programme started deploying. I think in the end it's Theta who, mostly bearing the neural load alone, has to do something drastic to stop the kaiju - maybe killing it in a way that spills Kaiju Blue everywhere and just poisons the land/water. Anyway after that Theta is EXTREMELY ANGRY at Koschei, and he's mad at HER for being mad at him because sorry for having trauma memories and accidentally triggering them?? But she's like I KNOW I also have those memories and you left me to basically pilot alone??? But anyway it's all a mess, Gallifrey Ember is basically destroyed and the pair of them are injured, traumatised, and unreconcilable, and so they decide that they're never drifting again and basically go separate ways. No one ever uses Theta's drift or jaeger tech again because it's considered too dangerous or volatile.

FAST FORWARD SEVERAL YEARS AGAIN. Enter Ryan Sinclair - young j-tech engineer who looks at the original Gallifrey Ember specs and is like "hey, no, this WORKED but it's just it went wrong one time and now no one will touch it, but maybe I can fix this old beat up jaeger and make it work again?". And so he rebuilds the jaeger - and names it Gallifrey Inferno instead. But, of course, no one wants to pilot it because of it's history, and also it really needs two pilots who are used to this sort of interface, rather than trying to train two new pilots (also, what new pilots?? The funding for the jaeger programme is getting cut by the day, and the jaeger pilot academies are all getting shut down). So, in short - they need Theta and Koschei back.

Yaz and Graham are there too - Yaz was in jaeger academy, but then the funding got pulled so her cohort got dropped, and now she's a security guard for the Shatterdome, but she still desperately wants to be at the heart of the action and actually making a difference. Graham is one of the guys who drives the carts across the Shatterdome deployment floor HAHA but he's great, he talks to EVERYONE in the Shatterdome and knows exactly what's going on underneath all the bureaucracy. He's also Ryan's granddad - they're somewhat at odds, but they're also both still grieving over the death of Grace, Ryan's nan, who died during a kaiju attack.

And then I have no idea - the three of them team up to drag Koschei and Theta back? Although to be honest I bet if Theta found out they were rebuilding their jaeger, they would be breaking into the Shatterdome IMMEDIATELY, so maybe Yaz catches them sneaking in hahaha. But obviously, even when Theta and Koschei are back together they are very reluctant to drift. I imagine that they both also have a lot of problems with ghost drifitng and stuff because their drift was so strong. And then...I want there to be s12 parallels, but I'm not quite sure what happens but I feel like Theta ended up being made to work on some weird slightly unethical drift project by the people who control the funding of the PPDC because they want to know more of the impact of the drift on the human brain, especially such a strong drift (I'm thinking like...ok so in one of my favourite pacrim fanfics, Newt gets forced to work in a drift project after his kaiju drift, but he keeps the fact that Hermann also drifted secret to protect him - but it ends up being pretty rough for Newt) but then obviously they're forced to keep the whole thing secret so they don't even tell Koschei. But eventually when the pair of them drift again, Koschei finds out (which then is the equivalent of him finding stuff in the Matrix). But he doesn't find out everything because it's all a mess and maybe the drift is off kilter because of it? Not sure. But yeah! This is all extremely rough so...y'know. Could probably develop it further. My only other thought is that the other jaeger pilots are alternate versions of thoschei or doctor-companion team ups.

#taka replies #anon #doctor who #pacific rim #pac rim au #SKSKSKSKS CAN YOU TELL #I LOVE PACIFIC RIM #i am actually at work now which is why it's taken me ages to actually finish typing this #i am not writing this as a fic #just putting that out there now #HAHAHA #long post

22 notes · View notes

mainviper · 4 years ago

Note

The new player card Reyna x Viper has my mind racing for answers and I love the theory you posted sooo....

Caaaan we get a one shot? 🥺

I'm so sorry it took me that long to answer @boxedyogurt , I tried to compensate working really hard on this one

Reyna x Viper Card • Poor Unfortunate Soul

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Regina was only six years old. She loved ice cream, her teddy bear which she affectionately named "Tactic Bear", and dreamed with a better life. She was very loved by her parents and older sister, but when she was seven years old everything changed.

Pains started to appear, the girl was getting more aggressive and hardly slept anymore. Her eyes didn't focus and sometimes it was possible to see them completely purple, when she slept she had nightmares and several attempts to wake her and get her out of this terror failed, the girl had a superhuman strength and almost killed her family several times .

So, when her older sister discovered that there was a convention on radiants going on in the city, she didn't think twice about going after ANY answer that could help the girl. She arrived at that Congress, signed up with the justification of wanting to pursue a career in science, since it was her last year of high school she had a priority. Reyna didn't want to be a scientist, nor was she interested in the study of radianite, she just wanted to save her family.

So when she saw the lecture of a young scientist, perhaps five or six years older than she, on the technological advancement and security that contained the Kingdom Corporation's experiments, her naive teenage heart believed her.

And Sabine believed it too. When they signed the contract, her idea was that in a year the girl would be recovered.

She met little Regina and became enchanted with her, made her mission in the world to save the girl from all the evil she was experiencing. She also enjoyed talking to young Reyna, explaining to her what they were doing so that the girls' parents would understand. She let the teenager stay in her laboratory to calm her sister, played with the stuffed animals that the girl brought and tried her best to make it very clear that she was on their side. Always.

After a year, her colleague and best friend was relocated to help with the case. Frederick was an excellent chemist and his analyzes were essential to reduce the pain that the girl had throughout her body. Fred, Sabine and Reyna talked until after work to find solutions and discover the source, the root of the problem.

Two years passed, something was beginning to change in Regina. She grew and became quieter, more restrained, her eyes lost their brightness and became more wild. Control of her, when she went into “radiant mode” was gone and she was capable of anything. These tantrums were frequent when her sister was not around and when she felt threatened. Due to her extraordinary strength, she ended up attracting the attention of Kingdom's Weapon team.

Three years passed before the extension of Regina's power reached a level that no one foresaw. War agents made weekly visits, no matter how much Sabine loathed interruptions, they only increased.

Frederick was examining the girl, the pain was starting to return and it was necessary to have a blood test.

Reyna was on vacation from college, she was on her sister's side and saw one of the agents at the door. She didn't want to let go of her little sister's hand, only that the girl insisted that the man stay.

At this time when the two separated, the girls' parents began to view the sessions as routine, she was left under the tutelage of Sabine and Frederick, and while the two argued at the end of each "consultation", Regina made a friend. He constantly asked about her day, always praised her and said that she should not try to limit herself, that her radianite should be a source of pride. He even gave a plush sloth to give Tactic Bear some company, so the only thing Regina wanted to do was impress him.

Reyna's hands started to burn, the older sister asked the youngest to stop but the girl would not let go. Her eyes shone in a purple tone and her body started to hover in the air, Reyna cried begging for mercy. The girl screamed and all the windows on the floor shattered, the two fell together but the older one passed out.

Sabine ran to help them both, but saw that Reyna's case was serious, she took the matter in her own hands, asked for a full list of tests, did all the procedures to ensure that nothing but that black circle on the teen's shoulder was the result of the accident but there was one more thing: she didn't wake up. All the tests done showed that there was no change in Reyna but she didn't open her eyes, nor responded to any stimulus and no one, not even the young and brilliant doctor, would know why.

Frederick stayed with the other sister while Sabine ran and tried in vain to bring Reyna back to consciousness. The girl panicked, she started crying hysterically and said it was all her fault, that she just wanted to show what she was capable of, that she SERVED to help. The chemist's heart sank, he hugged her and comforted her.

That day was the start of a huge battle in Kingdom Co.

Sabine and Frederick against the entire War department, the two refused to give information and claimed that the patient couldn't be treated as a weapon of mass destruction, after all, she was a human being, just a girl who was very frightened and blamed herself for almost losing her sister.

Sabine became obsessed with finding a solution, she worked day and night in search of a way out and five years after they started treatment it finally came.

Regina was eleven, her sister was in a coma for two years and all she wanted most was to get the radianite out of her. Her parents agreed, they asked for this to be the case and against all their beliefs the war department wanted to help find a way to channel the girl's energy.

An intern presented a device, something capable of sucking the radianite from spaces without the need for mining.

It was a prototype. And Sabine hated it.

Of course, technological advancement was incredible in her eyes, but what she loathed most was the prospect of using it on a patient.

Every part of that idea she tried in vain to argue and bring risks to parents and staff. She knew that she had lost when even Frederick admitted that the idea was a good one, that it could work, almost choked him for saying that in front of the patient's family. Could it work? Yes. But it could go terribly wrong and then they would have lost not only Reyna but Regina.

Years of study, years of experiences to treat the girl and to understand how a radiant body worked would be thrown in the trash. She was almost deciphering, almost mapping the powers and body composition of young Regina completely. No one had any idea how important her research was for the development of new technologies that would help other patients and, well, she loved working with that family so much.

They explained the whole process to her.

She provided some data so that nothing could go wrong.

She promised to follow everything closely, Frederick said that he would put the girl himself and tie her in the extraction room.

When the day came, she went to visit Reyna. Not that she stopped, Sabine took care of the young woman almost every day, saw her grow old on that stretcher, confided things to her and even though she knew she couldn't be heard she continued. She apologized for not having any answers and for not finding another alternative for "hermanita". Intubated on that stretcher, the young woman seemed to show a peaceful expression almost every day, but her doctor noticed something different.

She seemed to suffer. The black circle on her shoulder took on a purple color at its edges.

A very bad feeling started, she called Frederick asking him to wait for her to be there to start.

"We are about to start, the team's agenda is very busy. I'll be in with Regina in five minutes."

Sabine ran off when she hung up the phone. The procedure was scheduled for two in the afternoon ... How much time did she spend with Reyna? How could she lose track of time in such a reckless way? She looked at her watch and yes, they were almost late. If she ran she would have time to get to the front building.

To this day, Viper doesn't know how she survived.

When she entered the elevator everything seemed normal, but when she leaved she was faced with the huge wreckage of an accident. People were running desperately everywhere, and she was incredulous walking, but then running to the center of everything. Her heart beated faster and faster as she approached, she fought the desperate tide of colleagues and patients trying to save themselves. Screams echoed, people agonized beside her, but she was hipnotizedd by the scene she encountered.

Regina, her little and beloved patient, was lying in the middle of everything. Her eyes were completely empty, she didn't move and as she touched the girl, Sabine realized that the worst had happened. There was no sign of Frederick or the girl's parents. In the midst of the rubble, she hugged the girl and cried. Trying in vain to bring her back, patting her face and calling her name.

Another explosion occurred in the building where she had left. Sabine watched Reyna's floor go completely dark for a moment and a purple glow came out of the young woman's window. She screamed, and to her surprise, Regina's sister appeared. She was staggering, barely able to steady her own feet, but what caught Viper's attention was not the sudden awakening, but the color of Reyna's eyes and the black circle that now enveloped the woman's entire arm with some lines that looked like a tattoo.

She was filled with a purple aura that grew stronger and stronger as she approached the doctor. An orb, hovering over Regina's head appeared, had a strange and supernatural shape, Reyna raised her hand and pulled the orb towards herself.

Viper would never forget that scene, the terror of people around her, panic, Reyna's wrath and how many lives she took. People who were struggling to get out of there, who had either been buried in the wreckage or crawled to safety, died.

Only one orb hovered beside them, this one, Reyna managed not to take for herself but to place it inside a prism-shaped bottle that she kept. Sabine would stay with it and find a way, she understood who was in it and started crying again, passing Regina into her sister's arms.

And silence was made.

And Reyna came to her senses, with a small sparkling pulse that glowed in her chest. The young woman seemed to have awakened, leaving her stupor and finding terror soon afterwards, when she saw her lifeless sister.

The mexican never blamed Viper for what happened, she remembered the doctor's words while she was in a coma.

The following week Sabine resigned. She refused to pass data on her research with Frederick and was impeached for it. They took away all her professional credibility, Kingdom made sure to ensure that she never worked in her profession again.

And Viper didn't want to either. Her anger at the corporation took shape, and she would make it a point to help and find a way to save radiants before Kingdom got their hands on them and treated them like lab rats.

She moved to another country, went into hiding and started a new degree in chemistry. She still had contact with Reyna and the two visited each other from time to time.

It was after one of those visits that a man knocked on her door. She recognized him as one of the employees of Kingdom's war department, the man who was always talking to Regina and who also liked the girl asked to come in and seemed to be nervous about the situation.

Suspiciously she listened to what he had to say, he told that he spent the last few years trying to contact her, said that he was sorry and wanted to get away from Kingdom too. He felt guilty, but he was not humiliated when he left. The man then proposed the idea of working together, of making the world a better place so what happened to Regina would not be repeated.

Which, according to him, was very close to happening.

The bottle Sabine was carrying, containing Frederick's soul, began to shine and that was how she knew that helping the man would be the right thing to do.

Fortunately, Brim already had a few people in mind and Viper knew exactly where to start.

#valorant #viper #valorant agents #reyna #headcanons #headcanon fic #a little bit of omen #and brim #send asks #ask fic

24 notes · View notes

fatehbaz · 5 years ago

Text

"Grass built the British Empire". Aotearoa will be “the Empire’s dairy farm". Colonial environmental "improvement". Ecology "in service of empire". “The grass crop is still the greatest of Empire crops". The burning of the forest and English grasses “broadcast in the embers".

---

Grassland was one of the last components of the imperial agro-commodity chain to gain the attention of improvers [...]. In New Zealand, the state acquired increasing acreages of indigenous (Maori) lands for conversion to pasturage. [...] Everywhere indigenous plants, be they of grassland, forest or wetland, were being replaced with what were usually termed, not always accurately, ‘English grasses’. Colonial development could hardly have occurred without grass and clover plants. [...] In 1926–27 George Stapledon, regarded as the foremost British grassland scientist of his day, took a voyage to Australia and New Zealand. He had established the Welsh Plant Breeding Station, outside Aberystwyth, in 1919, to develop new strains of ley grasses. [...] In the book’s [published in 1928, recounting observations of his tour] introduction he wrote:

‘[P]robably grass land, equally with the sea, is to be regarded as one of the corner-stones on which the greatness of the British Empire has been built.’ [...]

---

A grass of some significance in this new landscape was cocksfoot, or, as it is known in the United States, ‘orchard grass’. [...] In the mid-1880s a fast growing reciprocal trade in Peninsula cocksfoot grass seed developed, to Australia, Britain, Europe and America. [...] These districts soon became the centres of New Zealand dairying, with the surrounding hill country being stocked with sheep. [...] It occurred so fast that by 1908 the North Island carried more sheep than the earlier settled South Island: 12.2 compared to 11.3 million. [...] The leafiness and persistence of what became known in Britain as ‘Akaroa cocksfoot’ (after the biggest Peninsula bay) attracted the notice of Stapledon [...]. It was sown in mixtures with ryegrass and clover. [...] When Stapledon observed the North Island's ‘transplanted sward’, he saw ryegrass and clover growing in greater abundance than in Leicestershire, thereby echoing the observation of a local writer that ‘[i]n New Zealand the background of every landscape is un-English, though the foreground ... is often curiously like bits of the southern counties’.

Stapledon described this transformation using the familiar tropes of colonial improvement. ‘The present merges rapidly into the future in new countries; what was begun at least over a thousand years ago in Europe has, for example, been begun and finished in little more than eighty years in New Zealand.’ [...]

---

Grassland development was nonetheless clearly important both as a technology in the incorporation of the lands of the imperial periphery, and as the basis of trade in the networks of empire. ‘The grass crop is still the greatest of Empire crops’, declared one of the Empire Marketing Board's pamphlets in 1928. [...] The grasslands transformation changed every aspect of New Zealand life and instituted a kind of [absolutism] that marginalised other forms of landscape. [...]

In 1926, New Zealand established a Department of Scientific and Industrial Research (DSIR), the same year that Australia set up the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO). These initiatives were formal recognition of the role of ecology as a science in the service of empire, in which New Zealand's role in the imperial division of labour was to be that of grassland farming specialist. [...] Stapledon became very enthusiastic about the success of grasslands farming in New Zealand and held the Dominion up as model which Britain and the rest of the Empire might follow. [...]

[B]y the 1930s, the newly established Dairy Board was enthusiastically advertising New Zealand as the ‘Empire’s dairy farm’. [...]

---

A good example of such environmental ‘improvement’ was the erasure of forest and its replacement by sown pasture on Banks Peninsula. This steeply sloping volcanic protrusion on the eastern coast of the South Island is adjacent to the colonial city of Christchurch. The peninsula's trees, many of them huge southern conifers, or podocarps, hundreds of years old, represented a state of wilderness as well as a source of timber to colonists. Between 1860 and 1890 most were cut down, and the harvested logs dispatched by sea from the peninsula's small bays to the ports for Christchurch and Dunedin. [...] As a contemporary put it, ‘True gloomy Rembrandt like shadows have disappeared…but in the stead of the past beauties are smiling slopes of grass’.

The forest remnants were fired, and seed of ‘English grasses’ broadcast in the embers.

---

Text above by: Tom Brooking and Eric Pawson. “Silences of Grass: Retrieving the Role of Pasture Plants in the Development of New Zealand and the British Empire.” The Journal of Imperial and Commonwealth History Volume 35, Issue 3, pp. 417-435. Published online 31 August 2007. [Bold emphasis and some paragraph breaks/contractions added by me. Italicized first paragraph/heading in this post added by me. Presented here for commentary, teaching, criticism purposes.]

#ecology #landscape #abolition #imperial #colonial #pacific #indigenous

537 notes · View notes

alittlefrenchtree · 4 years ago

Note

What would a good pr look like for you? Or, are there any principles you would suggest? I'm genuinely asking out of curiosity, cause we see so many things done badly (in a movie related industry), that even someone inexperienced like me can notice it all. You don't have to answer this if you don't feel comfortable, of course. Have a nice day :)

Hi there! Thank you for asking and for being so kind while doing it. I don't mind talking about this at all, don't worry 😊

I'm going to try to not take too long to answer but I already know I'm going to fail so I apologize in advance 😉 (edit after writing it: it's enormous, i'm so sorry. Hopefully, it's interesting. I'm crossing fingers for it to be at least readable 🤞).

Disclamer before I even try to start: I'm not a pr person (why do I even bother opening my mouth then? Idk either). I've already said it before but I always like a little bit of context, so. I'm not a pr person but I've studied (for about 3 seconds) fields close to pr or even directly related to pr in college, worked more or less close to a pr department (for about 3 other seconds) and have now been working... for let's say the other side of one fence for at least a good 5 minutes. I'm not close to pr people but I can see some effects of what they're doing on a regular basis. It's not pretty clear but i'm just saying that even if I'm not a pr person, I've been evolving around the field for a while, and even more than that, I've been watching (too) many public people from up close for way too many years. That doesn't make me an expert obviously, but I think it makes me at least someone who knows where to look and how to look in most cases. Obviously I won't say too many stupid things.

Ok, that being said.

In theory, a good pr move is a pr move that: a) reach its targeted audience in the way that was planned b) improve or doesn't hurt the image of the person/brand and c) make the people/entity who give the person/brand money happy (or at least, isn't hurting the rich people/brand's values). Some pr are more specifically designed for one or two of these goals, the three being the perfect combo.

I've said it before but it's always a important reminder that just a pr move not being good for me doesn't mean it's not a good pr move at all. It's most likely mean that I'm not in the targeted audience.

About principles... Again, I'm not sure if I can give a straight answer but, it's what I like about public relations. For me, even if of course you can learn things in theory, the beauty of pr is to completely adapt to the client. Trying to transpose pre-existing patterns on different people or different brands is not doomed to fail but, still in my opinion, very limited. So the only important principles for me are, a) to know (and respect) the audience you want to talk to and b) to not twist too much the identity of your client (whether it's a person, a person that has become a brand, or a brand).

The b) yet, is still debatable. If your client (person/person-brand/brand) is either shy or boring or extremely detestable or all of the above, you can think the only way to make them catchy is to completely twist them. For me, it could have been a good idea until... a few years ago. Before social media, twisting a nature for public image purpose could work. Before social media, public entities and audiences weren't talking that much together, so it was doable. Say I was an asshole singer in the 80's. All my pr people had to do is to make sure I appear somehow lovable during the 5 weeks a year I was promoting something (while all I was doing is around 2 things on tv, 3 things on radio and 5 things on written press) and I could be an asshole the rest of the year and nobody would know nothing about. At worst, someone would have a bad experience with me, but that someone would just talk about it to their four friends and two parents and that's about it. Or it would be a vague rumor, but no one would care that much. Like many things today, social media has changed things. Many public person have social media accounts, which means twisting the nature of the client is... way more complicated and more likely doomed to fail at some point. Of course you can be a public entity and not have any form of social media presence. First, it's going to be rarer with time because in the majority of the cases, it's shooting yourself (or your activity) in the foot. But even more importantly, not having social media account for yourself doesn't prevent you from their effects, because everyone else around you has social media accounts. Say I'm still an asshole singer in... say a post-covid world because otherwise it's too complicated. I'm still doing that 5 weeks promo tour to present my new album but this time, my agent is documenting everything on their own social media accounts to promote their own selves and work (because unlike me, they're smart and know social media are part of the business). During that tour, the media I'll interact with will probably be more plenty than the ones I would have met in the 80s because there are way more media than before. Every one of them has their own media accounts, for which they're going to create social media content (of backstage,...). Even more, some media are only social media based and will propose mostly content based on my personality. Remember that one person who had a bad experience with me in the 80's but had mostly no consequence? Now that person can share this with their 135 followers on Twitter who all have a RT button or on a post on their Instagram account and tagged their story on my account (if I have one) or on every fan account or on my agent account or on my mom account or everywhere people go when they want to lurk/stalk content about me. And well, you know the Internet, if 100 people knows, everyone knows. Even outside of my 5 weeks promo, every person I meet can morph into a viral story on the Internet. Which let me circle back to what I was saying in the first place. In a time where the flow of content is almost non-stop and the (media) public place is almost everywhere, having a pr strategy based on something dramatically opposed to who you are is tricky and not really viable in a long term. Especially when, in my opinion, you can work with everything in pr. You can adjust certain things, choose to hide some other parts, highlight other without changing everything. If you're good enough, you can make the most boring person relatable to an audience and work from that. I think the easiest way to make pr works is to based it on something real. Even if you then make it ten times bigger for public purpose, starting from something real makes everything easier.

When I wrote the post earlier, about public relations being interesting, I was mostly referring to what I see happening on Twitch and with streamers lately (if you're not familiar with this universe yet, just imagine a youtuber who only is only making live content and who mostly live on paid subscriptions from viewers instead of advertisement). It's nothing revolutionary, but I do appreciate the predominant transparency I hear in some of them. Yet again, because of the nature of their activity, transparency with their audience is in itself a good pr move. When you've spent 9hours a day, 6days a week live streaming for an audience without any edit or filter, transparency is often required. But still, it was really refreshing to hear that guy, who is and has been considered as the number one streamer in France for many years having that kind of speech. He was explaining how this thing he did hadn't making him earn any money but was good for his image and how that other thing he did was for money and many others things like these. And you find out that thing that could be badly perceive by the audience (such as doing something for money when you are supposed to have a job of passion) isn't at all perceive as so when you're explaining it to the audience and why you're doing it, where the money goes next and what you're going to do with it, etc.

What I like about pr is that, the possibilities of creativity are endless. Especially now, with all the new (that aren't that new anymore) technologies and the internet and the social media and the fact that everybody with a smartphone or an internet access is reachable from anywhere in the world. When I see something as the Travis Scott event on Fortnite and I see that you can virtually gather together 28 millions of people from all over the world for a concert (especially during a global pandemic), it's like, fucking mind-blowing and absolutely genius in so many levels. When we talk about pr, I wish people would think about stuff like events like that instead of just a set up lie or something to mislead the audience or something. But it also comes from pr people and teams and from public people themselves to not see pr as a mean to an end (selling something to an audience, making some rich people happy, etc.) but as a science as much as an art, and an occasion to produce something interesting, exciting and to create emotions.

Have a nice day/everning/night as well, Nonny. Thank you for stopping by 💜

#alft asks

5 notes · View notes

shirlleycoyle · 4 years ago

Text

Found: Page 25 of the CIA’s Gateway Report on Astral Projection

Page 25 of the CIA’s “Analysis and Assessment of The Gateway Process” hitched a ride with an email one evening and landed in my inbox. A digital attachment felt like an unceremonious entrance for a document that was produced 38 years ago and has been missing and highly sought after since it was declassified in 2003. For years, people had been filing FOIA requests and speculating about what was on this missing page in the middle of a mind-bending report about military research into astral projection and other dimensions. And then, there it was, just downloaded on to my desktop quietly looking back at me. My immediate reaction was frenetic; I couldn’t chill out long enough to properly read the rogue text. I called a few friends to ensure my reality was synched properly—a telephonic pinch to verify I was awake. All signs pointed to mostly. I double clicked the file.

Let’s get into it.

Screengrab: CIA

A Whirlwind Backstory

I published a breakdown of the CIA’s Gateway Report in February. The classified 1983 document was produced by US Army Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M. McDonnell, with a technical power-assist from mastermind Israeli-American biomedical engineer Itzhak Bentov. The report was declassified in 2003. It packs a tour-de-force investigation into the potential achievability of astral projection into 28 hyper-dense pages. A spectre has hung over the report since. The version released by the CIA was missing what seems to be an extremely crucial page.

IMAGE: SPECTRAL-DESIGN VIA GETTY IMAGES]

For the uninitiated, astral projection is mostly interchangeable with the psycho-physical phenomena of out-of-body experiences and remote viewing. With the right guidance and technologies, astral projectors believe, we can train our consciousness to move beyond the confines of the space-time dimension. This super-ability frees our human minds to travel through the universe, exploring an endless array of normally imperceptible realities and dimensions.

McDonnell states early in the report that his goal was to "construct a scientifically valid and reasonably lucid model of how consciousness functions" in order to put "out-of-body states into the language of physical science to remove the stigma of its occult connotations."

The Department of Defense's ambitions are made clear in the report's conclusion: McDonnell suggests that if the military were to experiment with astral projection, it could find "practical application," but also noted that it should "be intellectually prepared to react to possible encounters with intelligent, non-corporeal energy forms when time-space boundaries are exceeded." It kicked off years of attempts by the US Army to train psychic soldiers to conduct “remote viewing” missions to regions across the world.

Image: CIA

A Cosmic Mystery

The report is a vicious mind labyrinth. For 24 pages, it winds its way through the spiritual and scientific underpinnings, techniques to achieve and potential applications of space-time transcendence. It introduces methodological frames of reference like hypnosis, transcendental meditation, spiritual belief systems, biofeedback, quantum physics, and universal holograms only so that its intended audience—CIA top brass—might merely begin to grasp its (and our) bigger reason for being. By the bottom of page 24, McDonnell reaches a full existential crescendo, broaching the very nature of reality itself. It’s a cliff-hanger:

Image: CIA

And then … the report skips to page 26.

As if he hadn’t just side-stepped revealing the secrets of the heavens, McDonnell is on to a set of pragmatic “Motivational Aspects” for why the CIA might employ the Gateway as opposed to other methods of achieving astral projection.

Image: CIA

Expediency Wayne? Really?

Since the report's declassification, countless FOIA requests have been filed demanding page 25’s release. In every instance, the CIA has denied they ever had it in the first place. Page 25, then, has been the holy grail not just for would-be astral projectors, but also for conspiracy theorists, government transparency activists, and people who have simply read the report and found themselves maddened by this missing information.

Image: CIA Foia response

One fantastic internet theory maintains that McDonnell omitted the page intentionally. If someone could successfully astral project they’d be able to tell him what’s on it.

Contact

The CIA did not invent the Gateway Report and the Gateway Experience on its own. It used teachings from a man named Robert Monroe, who later founded an organization called The Monroe Institute.

Four days after we published the first article about the Gateway Report, I received a note from The Monroe Institute. They had some ideas for a follow-up piece. Drowning in responses to the article though, I failed to return their email. They reached out again. This time their message was more concrete: Sitting buried in the Monroe Institute archives in Faber, Virginia, was page 25 of The Gateway Report. But it didn't come to us easily.

Our first scheduled phone call included The Monroe Institute’s CEO, COO and marketing division. Motherboard Editor-in-Chief Jason Koebler and I got on a Google Hangout.

In that call, the Institute said that they had Page 25. People had been trying to obtain the report from the CIA and had repeatedly failed. But no one had bothered to ask them for the report; they'd had it all along. At one point, they described the report as having been "in a barn," unexamined, for all of these years. Otherwise, the call was uninspired. The CEO didn’t show. After an hour run-around it became evident that The Institute wasn’t going to part with Page 25 without some carefully orchestrated marketing plan. The words of COO Lori Jacobwith made their purpose clear, “We’re attempting to capitalize on some of the enthusiasm by a market that isn’t our normal age group.”

The institute was hoping to tap into the popularity of our first article, as well as some viral TikToks about the report.

The call ended with “You’ve touched on some things we are not talking about right now.”

The Institute then went quiet. Time passed.

One evening, the Monroe Institute’s Director of Marketing & Communications Jenny Whedbee emailed again. She'd been silent on our last call. The email contained the full Gateway Report including the missing page. She wrote that they’d just “went through a major org change.” The CEO and COO were no longer with the company. She was now down to talk, after we had read page 25.

The Missing Page

In the true spirit of discovery, I am pleased to present the full uninterrupted report in all its glory.

The page opens with the word “Absolute.” It sits there authoritatively, as if guarding the gate to the rest of the text. In the broader context of the report the term is applied to both spiritual belief systems and quantum physics alike. It's an important word.

Physicists define time as a measurement of energy in motion. In this way, time is really a measurement of change. In order for that motion to occur though, it must be limited inside a larger vibratory pattern. Inside this framework it is limited, contained at a specific location. That confinement then makes it distinguishable from other locations in space. Uncontained energy is force without limit. Imagine a formless entity speeding through the galaxy with no friction to hold it back from being everywhere. As McDonnell puts it “There is no 'here' to differentiate it from 'there.'” And this, my friends, is an absolute state or “The Absolute.”

According to the report, the Absolute is essentially the governing energy of the Universe en masse. It powers the universal hologram that is all of entirety. The report makes multiple attempts to visualize this universal hologram or “cosmic egg” as one big constantly flowing spiral.

Screengrab: CIA

Between the reality we know and The Absolute are countless intervening dimensions, McDonnell writes, which is pretty trippy stuff for a government report. Absolute is the ceiling (as far as we know it). End of the line, and a hell of a way to open a missing page.

McDonnell observes that a “stylized representation” of this spiral is present in every religious system in history. He cites the specific examples of Christianity’s Holy Spirit, the Hellenic world’s labyrinth, the Hebrew Tree of Life, its Hindu counterpart, and the Chinese Spiral Through the Four Powers. This thinking has found its way into each systems’ teachings.

The crucial distinction between the breakthroughs in modern physics and the epiphanies of religious thinkers is the way they all found The Absolute. Whereas physics leans on quantitative research, religions relied on intuition. The Gateway then sort of showed up just in time—a holistic mainline for “interfacing” with the universal hologram, freeing us from the limitations of a left brain logic-based culture.

The page’s third section takes a slant which should feel familiar to adherents of modern psychology. The universe, the Absolute, the cosmic egg. All of it is irrelevant, and certainly unreachable, until we possess knowledge of ourselves. My eyes, upon first glance of page 25, picked up “The Absolute” first, then darted swiftly to the aphorism McDonnell trots out here— “Know Thyself.” What hits even harder than achieving a psychological self-understanding, according to McDonnell, is the sense of self-perception achieved when one can manage to alter their state of consciousness to the point where the universal hologram itself can be perceived.

And it’s The Gateway Experience, McDonnell says, that promises this possibility.

Images: The Monroe Institute

Achieving Hemi-Sync

Key to the report and technique for achieving astral projection is an audio technology developed by Robert Monroe, a radio broadcasting executive who, in the 1970s, built an R&D division inside his company solely to study the effects of sound on human consciousness.

In a series of self-experiments in which he exposed himself to carefully calibrated audio frequencies while sleeping, Monroe repeatedly achieved elevated mind-body states. His 1971 book Journeys Out of The Body documents those early investigations and officially coined the term “out-of-body experience.”

Books by Robert Monroe

Monroe’s corporate R&D division eventually became The Monroe Institute, which produces tapes containing audio techniques to stimulate brain functions and achieve “Hemi-Sync.” Hemi-Sync is short for hemispheric synchronization, and is instrumental in achieving a state of consciousness in which the electrical brain patterns of both left and right hemispheres are equal in amplitude and frequency.

It does so by combining two techniques. The first is Frequency Following Response—a recognized external frequency is introduced by headphones, which causes the brain “to try to mimic the same frequency by adjusting its brainwave output.” For instance, a resting brain that hears a Theta level will shift out of its Beta level. The second technique is beat frequency. Contrasting frequencies are introduced to each ear. The brain then “chooses to “hear” the difference between them.” A brain receiving 100hz through the right ear and 104hz through the left, can then detect the delta, in this case a 4hz frequency. The technique then opens the brain to “a variety of frequencies which are played at a virtually subliminal, marginally audible level.”

With the left brain relaxed and the body in a virtual sleep state, according to the report, the conditions are ideal to promote brainwave outputs of higher and higher amplitude and frequency. When the wave pattern of a consciousness drops below an oscillation frequency of 10 to the power of -33 centimeters per second, for a brief instant it “clicks out” of space-time and joins infinity. Monroe’s theories maintain that if that “click-out” can achieve continuity you can begin dialoguing with other dimensions.

Image: CIA

The Monroe Institutes’s chief engineer today is Bob Holbrook. A former events producer, Holbrook believes the Monroe Institute's audio offerings helped him rehab from head trauma sustained in a brutal car accident. The Hemi-Sync technology featured in The Gateway Report was sold to a company now called Hemi-Sync®. The audio technology stack The Institute now produces—collectively called Monroe Audio Support (MAS)—is a hugely evolved version of the original binaural beats-based technique. As Bob puts it, “Binaural beats was just one technology, now we have 50.” This widens and populates the spectrum of experience for participants. “MAS takes the idea of binaural beats and utilizes many other “colors” and technologies to create more intense experiences in different levels of consciousness.” A key MAS ingredient is gamma synchrony. “It allows us to connect much more easily to 'all that is,'” he said. Two additional innovations play a central role—Phase Modulation and Amplitude Modulation. Phase Modulation changes the direction from which a sound feels like it’s coming from. Bob shared an audio-visual animation illustrating sound source oscillation.

Amplitude Modulation gives technicians the capability to drop into the soundscape live and manipulate specific aspects of the volume.

The Institute shared a 30-minute sample of their newer programming for this article. Headphones are essential for full results.

The Monroe Institute’s tapes combined these frequencies with subliminal suggestions from Monroe himself. An archive titled “The Explorer Series” contains recordings of the Monroe Institute Research Division’s experiments, in which subjects “report from these non-physical environments.”

Up until COVID, all meditators physically travelled to The Monroe Institute’s palatial headquarters in Faber, Virginia to work through a series of increasingly challenging levels. The 7-day course offers the possibility for one’s consciousness to navigate space, time, and beyond. That is, if you’ve got what it takes.

It’s these tapes and their potential applications that caught the attention of the CIA and prompted the commission of the report.

The Monroe Institute Today

After I read page 25, I called Jenny Whedbee back up.

She said Monroe is an organization that was trying to find its way in an ever-shifting world. “There’s a part of this organization that definitely needs to grow, but it needs to grow at a pace that keeps with the tenets of who we are,” she said. The importance of listening to where an organization comes from before deciding on a future was a theme. “If you don’t have the input from people who have been here a while, then you’re not really staying true to what the Institute is.”

Paramount to staying that course is the guiding light of its influential founder Robert Monroe. “We’ve had a lot of executives come and go. I know Robert Monroe is still here and still trying to run things,” she said.

It’s this pioneering energy that powers her enthusiasm. In reference to their newer classes, she explained, “Gateway Voyage is primarily the same exact program that Robert Monroe developed. And so is Lifeline, Exploration 27, Guidelines. Those core programs, he actually worked on and developed.”

“It puts you into direct experience with expanded states of consciousness where you can explore and ask questions and receive answers and visit past lives," she said. "You can astral travel.”

These programs are grueling. Participants go through five or six exercises a day for five straight days. “It’s like running a marathon,” she said.

Jenny joined the company without much experience in consciousness elevation but swiftly got the feel for things. “It did exactly what the course said it was going to do," she said. "I experienced past lives. It gave me this 20,000-foot view of my life. Not just this one, but previous and future.”

“If you want the rocket ship where your life is forever enlightened, you’re not going to get that any other way than coming here,” she said.

The conversation with Jenny eventually turned to page 25.

“I have my own interpretation," she said. "Whether it was accidentally or intentionally left out I don’t know. Like I said there are people that work in this place that are on another plane and not here in the physical.”

For Jenny, the page appeared at the right time and place. “I feel like 20 years ago the world wasn’t ready to hear. But this generation is ready.” She says the institute changed her life.

“You grow up, you go to school, you get married, you have kids, you go to church, you die," she said. "And your life lives on through your family. There is value there. But on a much deeper level it’s the relationships and the memories you create. Not all this stuff we’re collecting. So what if that page was released 20 years ago? Could it have backlashed? Cause it talks about religion and that all religions are equal. And what if people feel really powerfully that not all religions are equal. I feel like the generations nowadays, they’re not so wrapped up in that anymore."

Jenny said that young people today are pushing for social justice and are more open to different perceptions of consciousness and different ways of living. "There’s this whole thing going on where people are awakening," she said. "People become more conscious, people become more awakened—tearing down the monuments in Richmond. Enough’s enough. This has come about at a time when your generation has questions and they want to know and they’re ready to hear the answers without judgment.”

“TikTok happened, you happened, all this happened for a very important reason that’s not of this physical plane,” she said.

Jenny concluded our hour-long conversation with a suggestion for how to handle page 25. “Do something with it. You know even if it’s you just saying what it means to you.”

[Hold my beer]

A Consciousness Feedback Loop

The Gateway Report is so dense in parts, it compromises its own accessibility. The goal of my initial synthesis was to create a written and visual experience (including, ahem, some premium custom graphics) that might help folks without a PHD in quantum physics benefit from its huge thinking.

It struck a nerve.

Over the course of a 3-week period, millions of readers made their way through an admittedly arduous editorial obstacle course. Studios reached out.

Two days after the article’s release, we inserted an invitation:

“Have you had an experience with The Monroe Institute, Hemi-Sync or had an out-of-body experience? Get in touch: [email protected]”

Thousands of emails came in from folks all over the world who described their out-of-body experiences. To me, it signaled the possibility that many of us are searching for something more than what seems currently available. To describe my experience in telling this story and the search in many senses, I produced a visual reinterpretation of page 25.

The Gateway. Image: Thobey Campion

'The Gateway' is a high-resolution digital image of a print of the missing page 25 of the CIA's Gateway Report. It contains 659 digital micro-inscriptions of out-of-body experience accounts, that only become visible at 300%+ magnification.

Just look closer.

Thobey Campion is the former Publisher of Motherboard. You can subscribe to his Substack here.

The Gateway is an NFT. Part of the proceeds go to Mind Science, a foundation that explores the mystery of human consciousness by funding the work of early-career neuroscientists.

Found: Page 25 of the CIA’s Gateway Report on Astral Projection syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

3 notes · View notes

nightlight-stardust-and-rain · 5 years ago

Text

So I wanted to do a Homestuck HP au because I love writing about Homestuck. But like right now I don't have a lot of ideas so I'm gonna write whatever goes in my head.

John is a muggleborn. Everyone thinks he's a halfblood because when he talks about his dad people thinks he's a wizard (nope just a weird but cool muggle who took the magic thing very well). John doesn't correct them because honestly, pranking half of his classmates without even trying, that's something (he just want to see their faces when they realize). Also I think he would be a gryffindor. Oooor maybe a slytherin, but idk I don't see the "ambitious" side. No, gryffindor. Because pranks. He think he'd be very good at potions and charms ? Because pranks. Like you know you're better with subjects that are interesting to you. He really likes potion and charms because the amount of pranks he can do is like, unlimited. He's also good with a broomstick, even if he's not on the quidditch team : he likes to fly for flying, not for playing. He never really understood the problem with houses - or rather, the competition. He pranks everyone equally, that's all that matters (OK maybe he pranks more Dave and Karkat, but come on. Their reactions are priceless).

Jade is, I think, a half-blood ? Honestly, nobody knows, not even her : she doesn't remember if her grandpa was a wizard or not, and she remembers even less her parents. She grew up on a island (like in canon tbh) with Bec, who is a ex-wizard : he had a accident and he got trapped in his animagus form but due to the incident he sorta kept some of his powers (that's why he can still apparate) and, kinda, got the mind of a dog (still more intelligent than any dog, but not enough to notice that he was a wizard - he doesn't even remember bieng one). She's a slytherin ! Because she's really clever and kinda ambitious ? Like she really want to mix science and magic. She wants the magic world to know science ("guys, they don't even know what an atom is !!!"). Due to that, she's really fucking good with potions. The best of her years (of any year, really). While being a arithmancy and herbology genius, She's also pretty good in every other class tbh. Not really the best at flying, but she tries. Also she somehow learn to apparate when she's like 12 and everybody is stunned like HOW (and she's "oh my dog taught me !" "... WHAT"). She's very happy to be a witch but her scientific side SCREAMED when she learned the existence of magic. She can often be found staring at the moving stairs mumbling something about the physics laws.

Rose iiiiis... A pureblood. Come on. Like she grew up with magic traditions and such. She also loves the muggle's representation of wizards (it's very funny). She's SO a ravenclaw. That was obvious. Her mother is a famous witch (both famous for her acts of heroism during the last War (??) and also famous for being drunk anytime) and she doesn't really likes to be famous by association, but eh. She's obviously a Seer (like, a true one). She took divination and she fucking destroyed the teacher. Like she just looked at them with her superior smile (you know the insufferable one) and proceeded to walk out of class and never return (the destroying the teacher part took place at the exams when she got the highest score despite having skipped every divination period). She's really good in DADA and Alchemy and potions. Maybe sometimes she's a bit too close to the dark side of magic (*snort*) but eh she didn't killed anyone (yet). The only classes she's not good with is care of magical creatures : the creatures are all afraid of her (tbh it's because she tried to summon a eldricht horror once. She failed but the eldricht aura kinda stayed on her). She's very interested in vampires, but her interest may be personal rather than scholar ;)

Dave is, I think. A pureblood ? Tbh I really don't know where Bro stands. Since he's Rose's twin, he's obviously a pureblood, but he didn't grew up in the same place. Bro was the kind of wizard who was absolutely obsessed with muggle's technology so one day he just... Moved to the muggle side ? Idk. So here I'm really torn up between "Dave's shitty childhood and shitty role model is a important part of his character" and "I want Dave to be happy and have a happy childhood". Fuck it he' ll have a extremely weird but happy childhood (like. Remember before we knew that Bro was abusive and we tought that he was just a cool and really really really weird guardian ?). So he grew up in a mix of magic and technology : ofc Bro didn't hide he was a wizard, he used magic pretty often. Dave knows some things about technology but he kinda lacks... Basic knowledge. You know. Bro still taught him fencing (kinda was a family thing) but like. Low-key ? Like not before he was ten and Dave wasn't beat up, it was actual teaching (I just want Dave to be happy without PTSD, dammit). Also Dave is a hufflepuf (fight me). The beta kids are all the four houses (they think that's funny and they're kinda proud to be a multi-house group. XD amateurs just wait to see the trolls). When Dave got his letter, he was "... Bro. There is a magic community ??" "yes ? You didn't knew ?" "you never told me I tought we were mutants". Bro then realizes he never told Dave that he was actually a wizard, uh. Then "oh yeah your twin sister must be at hogwarts too" "I have a twin sister". Like. Bro legit forgot to tell him. Also Dave is absolutely fascinated by magic pictures. He's kinda good with classes because he's pretty smart but he's better with charms and DADA. He can fly (I mean with a broomstick of course) but he's not in the quidditch team. He took divination because he knows it's bullshit : it's for irony. He carries a camera everywhere because honestly magic pictures are so cool. He takes pictures every time because come on, Hogwarts is wonderful (he sends some of his pics to Bro who replies by "I know how Hogwarts looks, dumbass"). He also likes to take pics of his friends and also of this strange, huge group of friends who are not in the same house and who are indeed very strange and very differents but they stay together no matter what (yeah I'm talking about the trolls). Not gonna lie, he takes more pics of one of them... (yes I'm talking about Karkat. Because I ship DaveKat). He didn't realized he got a crush, the poor boy (also a lot less internalized homophobia because Bro is so gay. Dave's just takes a while to understand that he's Bi).

The trolls are a big multi-house group. Some of them knew each other before Hogwarts but mostly they were strangers who inexplicably and despite all their differences became friends the first day of school and stayed together for their whole life (it's Karkat. What keeps them together is Karkat).

And you know what I'm gonna do the ancestors before the beta trolls.

The Handmaid, Damara Megido (yeah they're keeping their post-Scratch selfs names), is Aradia's mother. She works at the ministry's time department (idk if it exists in HP so if not it's a department to regulate time travel and time traveling objects) and she's pretty great since she's the head of her department. She likes her work and she's pretty famous : both for her work, her magic skills (she's super fucking powerful) and her one-night stands (come on it's still Damara I had to). Actually Aradia comes from one of these one-night stands. She never hid it to her daughter. Aradia honestly doesn't mind. She's the type you would never expect to have a kid, but she's actually a good mother. She smokes a bit too much and maybe sometimes she forgets to cook but she tries.

The Summoner, Rufioh Nitram, is Tavros' father. He's part fairy and has absolutely no fucking clue about who was a fairy in his family but he doesn't really cares. His wings are cool, he likes to fly, talking to animals is even cooler. He's really chill about it. He never really felt ashamed of his wings, even when people tought they were girly. He's an auror affected to the department for control and regulation of magical creatures. He deals with dangerous creatures such as dragons. He loves his job. It's perfect for him : when he was a teen he was torn between auror (the action !) and the department [...] of magical creatures (the creatures !) but he got a mix of the two. He's proud of his son : he fully knows that being different can be hard and knows that his son is doing his best.

The Psiioniic, the Signless and the Disciple are in a happy poly relationship. Their kids Sollux, Karkat and Nepeta are actually triplets. The funny thing is that since they named them differently (Sollux is Captor-Vantas-Leijon, Karkat is Vantas-Leijon-Captor and Nepeta is Leijon-Captor-Vantas. Honestly their parents did that just to mess with everyone) and that most of the teacher's call list was only long enough to include the first of their last names, everybody at Hogwarts took like a year to understand that they were related and one more year to discover that they were triplets. That's exactly the kind of mess that was in their parent's mind when they named them.

The Psiioniic, Mituna Captor, is one of Sollux's, Karkat's and Nepeta's dads. He's a sarcastic little shit who got a job with computers on the muggle side of the world (people are usually stunned when they discover that he's a pureblood). He's a parseltongue and has a yellow-blue-red snake named Gemini. Honestly the only reason why everyone doesn't know he's a parseltongue isn't because he hides it (he doesn't care about people's opinion) but because, as a very not talkative person, he talks to his snake (or any snakes) like he talks to people : rarely. He's trying to introduce technology in the wizard world. It goes slowly. He' s actually a good dad who may forget to eat and/or to cook sometimes and has bipolarity (wizards usually think it's a curse. He gave up trying to explain every time) but he loves his childrens and is so in love with Signless and Disciple that sometimes he embarrasses himself.

The Signless, Kankri Vantas, is Sollux's, Karkat's and Nepeta's other dad. He's a half-blood and a Seer. Unlike Rose, he can't see the future, but the past lives. His past life or anyone's. He needs to touch people to See their past life and it's not really useful but he likes it. He's a teacher in Muggle studies : he was so appalled by the muggle studies in hogwarts that he decided to correct wizard's opinion on muggles. That's how he met Psii : he was trying to make a computer who could resist in Hogwarts (spoiler it exploded) and Signless was extremely interested (spoiler he lost his eyebrows in the explosion because he was too close). He kinda travels in various magic communities to teach them about muggle things that are very useful (he's not 'muggle are better than wizards'. Just 'we could learn so much from them and also the muggle are not a different species, we're all humans'). When his kids talked to him about their friends he laughed really hard and said "of course. You twelve are bound to each other after all". He's such a great dad. He loves his childrens so much and when he looks like he could explode you know he's thinking about how much he loves Psii and Disciple.

The Disciple, Meulin Leijon, is Sollux's, Karkat's and Nepeta's mother. She's a author and journalist. She does documentary-like articles. Like about animals or nature. She's a muggle born who was raised by a nundu ! You know the leopard-like creature with spikes in Fantastic Beasts (It moved silently, despite its "gigantic" size and was considered by some to be the most dangerous creature alive. The breath of the Nundu was toxic and filled with disease so potent that it can wipe out entire villages of people. Source wikipedia). Her muggle village was wiped by said toxic breath. Her magic protected her and somehow the nundu adopted her *shrugs*. She lived with her until she was seven and a witch found her and took her to the wizard world. It took her time to learn to talk, write, read, behave like a human. But oh she loved writing. She loved the books and she loved the stories and she loved to read. She kept some things from her years with her mother (she won't call the nundu who adopted her anything else), like the ability to move very silently and the, well, wilderness and fight skills. Honestly everyone believes she's a werewolf. She's tiny and pretty but actually more dangerous than half of the ancestor combined (admittedly in this HP au they are physically weaker or just not used to fight). So she writes reports about magical creatures and animals, she write books (her best book is an autobiography : everyone believes it's a fiction because of the adoption by a nundu thing). Sometimes Signless helps her to find a good story because you wouldn't believe the crazy things they did in their past life : he tells her, and she writes a book with that basis. Sometimes she works with the department [...] of magical creatures because she knows a lot about magical creatures and she understand their mind you know. Sometimes she works with the Summoner. They make a good pair and are very good friends.

The Dolorosa, Porrim Maryam, is Signless' adoptive mother, Karkat's, Sollux's and Nepeta's grandma and Kanaya's guardian and relative. She doesn't look that old because she's a vampire. She's Kanaya's ancestor, but literally. She must be like +600. She's really wise and really cool and also she can kick your ass easily. She lived in both worlds (muggle and magic) and lived in every country. She knows almost everything. Really she is just super badass. She adopted Signless when he was like 3 months. She greatly influenced him and his ideas. She's a very supportive mom and guardian. Also she uses a chainsaw. She's a bit of a legend everywhere honestly some people don't believe she exists.

Neophyte Redglare, Latula Pyrope, is Terezi's older sister and guardian. She's a auror (duh) and one of the best ! She's also a part-time lawyer and she's feared. With reason. She is Terezi's role model ! Redglare is very proud of her little sister and think that she will surpass her one day. Her and Psii are good friends even if they have nothing in common except their tendencies to sarcasm (Signless says they get along well because they dated in another life. They both gagged at that).

Spinneret Mindfang, Aranea Serket, is a fucking criminal. That's all. Like. She's a rich pureblood who leads a sort of magic-muggle mafia ? Like she does things on the muggle side and on the magic side and her group has wizards and squibs and muggles (who of course know about magic. When you're breaking laws everyday, what's one more ?). Her group works with magic methods as well as non magic methods - that's kinda why she never got arrested. Muggle police can never find them because magic, and aurors usually don't know where to search on the muggle side. She's feared everywhere and she's Redglare's principal target but she's not worried about being caught. She's not a really good mother to Vriska - she loves her daughter but she's a bit neglecting ? Like sometimes she's not home for a week or something. Also she has a pet acromentula.

Darkleer, Horuss Zahhak, is a black-Smith who lives in the same magic town as The Nitram, Maryam and Captor-Vantas-Leijon. He's a pureblood from a high family but he somehow get kicked out and ended up being a blacksmith. He actually, truly loves his job and while being Greatly ashamed (sweating) to have been kicked out of his house, he actually thinks that, hadn't he been kicked out, he would never have found his true vocation. He's very very awkward but his son doesn't mind since he's also very awkward. He's a good dad who teach blacksmithing to his son (while trying to erase the "better than anyone" way to think that his House teached to his son). He's friends with Disciple, she thinks his awkwardness is cute and he's kinda fascinated by her wilderness - they come from totally opposed sides after all.

The Grand Highblood, Kurloz Makara is a pure mystery. Is he wizard ? A muggle ? Is he at least alive ? Nobody knows.

Orphaner Dualscar, Cronus Ampora, is a pureblood who was a little shit when he was young (see post-scratch Cronus) but somehow (spoiler he pissed off the wrong person) he got his wand broken on his teens and he was dropped in the muggle world. Since he didn't knew what to do he ended up being in the marines by accident. It was hell for him. He fought a war, a muggle war, and saw what muggles can do. Years after his PTSD is still here. That's where he got his scars. After the war he succeeded to come back to the wizard world. He got a new wand and still had his family's name behind him but he still had the war in his bones. He never talked shit about muggles again and while being very scared of them he's also kinda fascinated - he had a sort of rifle harpoon (harpoon rifle ?) in the marines and it felt more right than his wand. He had Eridan like a year after being back. He panicked at first of course but he did his best to be a good father (he didn't had the best parents either) and kinda dropped everything to take care of his son. He's a very good dad even if he had to hire a cook because he can't cook to save his life. He later adopted Feferi and he has no clue why he did that but he loved her as if she was his biological daughter. Now that Eridan and Feferi are at Hogwarts he's searching for a job (spoilers he'll end up being Disciple's secretary because she's absolutely hopeless with planing and such and also he helps her with her books because he knows some things she doesn't about the muggle world or the army. He'll end up writing his own book - an autobiography)

The Condesce is the queen of the Selkies. Just. The queen. She's not a very good mother since she drooped Feferi in a magic orphanage after having her with a human.

now the beta trolls !

Aradia is a half-blood. She lives with her mother and their house is in the middle of a magic graveyard. Aradia grew surrounded by graves and ghosts, and she loved it. Some ghosts were around often, to visit their own grave or their family's grave. She talked to every one of them ! And they all had stories to tell ! And (and one day when she was little she met a woman with gray skin and eyes glowing of diferents colors and she had ram horns and she wore a green dress and she asked Aradia "tell me about yourself" Aradia told her about her mom and how she loved talking to ghosts and how her mom is the best with time problems and how they both are happy and the grey lady cried rust red tears and said she was relieved to know that at least in this universe they could know happiness and she vanished and Aradia never forgot her). She's a little spooky and also every ghost loves her, even Peeves ! That's, like, her own power. She can do necromancy and she thinks it's super cool. She doesn't talk about it outside of their group because she knows that even if her friends have no problems with that, the magic society isn't that accepting. She's gryffindor, even if the hat seriously considered Ravenclaw. She really like the dark red of gryffindor (that reminds her of the red eyelashes and red lips and red tears of the grey lady with ram horns who never came back but is somehow still with her). She' s really good with charms and DADA. she's not very good with herbology, every plant she touches seems to age a bit too fast. She's very good with flying ! Maybe a bit too risky. She's beater in the quidditch team ! She's animagus. A ram ! She loves it (and she swears she heard a laugh in the back of her head and she knows that was the lady with ram horns and rust red lips even if she never heard her laughter)

Tavros is a pureblood who grew in a magic town. He was kinda bullied because his family somehow got fairy blood - that's why his father got wings (Summoner is proud of his wings and doesn't see how having fairy blood makes you feminine). He had a disease who got him paralyzed. The Zahhaks built him a sort of magic-mechanic thing who helped him to walk but he still has to use his wheelchair sometimes. He can control animals and talk to them (he can't control people who are part animal and creatures who are sentient but he can talk to them). His father says it comes from the fairy blood. Despise being kinda bullied because being part fairy is "girly" he's still proud of his fairy blood like his father taught him ! (also it's hard to think that being part fairy is girly when your father is the Summoner). I'm so torn between hufflepuf and gryffindor for him... Nah gryffindor (like Neville you know). Gryffindor helps him to be more brave you know ? He's also the absolute best in care of magical creatures (of fucking course).

Sollux is a slytherin. His blood status (as well as his sibling's) is kinda undetermined since he got three parents. He's not a muggle born for sure. Honestly he doesn't care if he's a half-blood or a pureblood. He's kinda pissed to not have inherited of his dad's parlestongue because he likes snakes but eh. He's a absolute genius with computers and he HATES how computers doesn't work at hogwarts. He's trying to make a magic-proof one (spoiler it'll explode and more spoiler Karkat Nepeta and him will be too close and will get their eyebrows burned). He's pretty good with potions but he's better with transfiguration. Arithmancy is like his favorite class (it's easy for him and he's kinda in competition with Jade). Surprisingly he flies pretty well but he hates broomsticks. Like. Blurgh. He's animagus and guess what he's a bee. Karkat and Nepeta made fun of him endlessly but it's actually quite useful. He likes it. He's not bipolar like his dad but he got some pretty bad mood swings. Honestly he wanted to go to hufflepuf because they're yellow. He likes yellow. The fact that everyone took like two years to figure out that him, Nepeta and Karkat were triplets was absolutely hilarious to him. Like. They have the same birthday and the same parents how did they not understood once they figured out that they were related ? (he knows they don't look alike but seriously) he's one of the only persons to know about Karkat's secret obviously. This tsundere won't admit he loves his siblings but Nepeta and Karkat are on top of his "things I love the most" list.

Nepeta is a gryffindor. She got a limited form of metamorphmagi (?) mixed with her animagus form (she's a cat of course) she can manifest only a part of her animagus form, like the tail and ears or the claws. But she can't do what a normal metamorphmagus can do. She can fully turn into a cat of course. She keeps the ears and tail more or less always. A lot of people think someone cursed her to be part cat. She's really fucking strong : she learned martial art (more specifically taekwondo and aïkido) and parkour. She knows that most of the wizards are physically weak and that without their wand they're usually kinda useless. She's not really powerful magically speaking. More average but she doesn't mind. She's good in care of magical creatures and transfiguration. She absolutely hates flying. Like she's not afraid of heights but if she was made to fly her animagus form would be a bird not a cat ! She's Equius' best friend and nobody understands how they became friends (then again, nobody understands how the whole group became friends). She likes to ship people and they usually come to her (or Karkat) for romantic advice. She wants to be like her mother because she's so cool. She loves listening to his dad's stories about their past lives and she tries to understand her other dad's thing with computers but honestly the only thing she can do with a computer is an explosion. She likes to go to the forbidden forest to fight some dangerous creatures. She LOVES her brothers so much you wouldn't believe it. One of her favorite thing is the faces people do when they discover that they are triplets. It's priceless.

Karkat is a hufflepuf. To everyone's surprise. Like... He does works hard but friendly ? Him ? (when you tell that to his friends they laugh because Karkat, not friendly ? lmao dude he's the mom friend™) he inherited of his dad's ability to talk to snakes. He think it's completely useless and also he doesn't talk about it because ~discrimination~ he doesn't want to be seen as a dark wizard (he sucks at Dark magic anyways). He also has a weird thing with his blood : his blood is kinda like a soothing soporific ? Like, he can calm people by contact and when someone touch his blood they sleep. Nobody knows why is blood is like this (although Signless muttered something about candy red and a mutation). He keeps it secret (obviously his family knows) because honestly he doesn't want to be a test subject for the Department of mysteries. It's actually super useful when Sollux or his Dads are in lack of sleep - one drop of blood and bam they're asleep. Ironically, he's insomniac - he's obviously immune to the soporific effects of his blood. So he's a hufflepuf like Dave and some others and maybe he has a little crush on Dave. Ok it's not a crush he's in love but still a bit in denial. He likes potions and charms and alchemy and he's quite good. He also likes DADA but despite it he's not really good. He thinks Divination and Muggle studies are bullshit (but he regrets to not have been here to see Rose destroying the teacher). At first he took muggle studies to see if it was as awful as his dad told him - nope. It's worse. He absolutely, fully, from the bottom of his soul, HATES flying. He's actually one of the best students (not as good as Jade or Sollux but eh). First years are always afraid of him at first because he's always grumpy and angry and loud but the older are "lol no give it some time you'll see he's a giant teddy bear". He ends up being a sort of big brother figure for the youngers badgers. Nobody except him is surprised when he's named prefect. He's known at hogwarts to be somehow angry to everyone but also soft to everyone, all houses and years included. Everyone kinda loves him, despite *vague hand gestures to Karkat *. Some people don't like him, of course but he's not in danger : he got some powerful and protective friends. He's like one of the only persons who did not get lost in the castle. Like not even one time.

Kanaya is also a hufflepuf. She's a kind of cousin to the Captor-Vantas-Leijon since Dolorosa, her ancestor, adopted Signless. She's not a vampire like her ancestor (yet. She'll be at like 25. Don't want her to be 13 firvever after all). She's absolutely feared by everyone but nobody knows why. Like she's not really threatening ? She's really nice and pretty and always helping people. But she's still feared. Pure mystery. She likes to do handmade clothes and she's obviously very good. She took study of ancient runes and she's really good. She likes to sew protective runes onto her friend's clothes (they really need it). Strangely she's absolutely terrible at charms. She's pretty good with everything, but charms ? Nope. She's the mom friend as well as Karkat. But less aggressive of course. Her blood status is just as unknown as Sollux's, Karkat's and Nepeta's (them because they have three parents and her because the only family she has is Dolorosa who is too distantly related - and Dolorosa might have forgot her own blood status. She's old after all). Of course she knew that Nepeta, Sollux and Karkat are triplets, she basically grew up with them. She has always been more close to Karkat than to Sollux and Nepeta but she likes to have tea with Nepeta and reminding Sollux to eat had become a daily habit. She's the other prefect of hufflepuf, no surprise. When she and Rose began to date, everyone was both happy for them and midly terrified. Because they both pretty scary to begin with, so together ?? Brrr.

Terezi's a muggleborn like her sister Latula. She's been raised in the magic world. When she learned about dragons she went absolutely apeshit. She wants one, it's like one of her big goals >:] also she's a Slytherin. She's still blind but it was from birth. She has extreme synesthesia, an actual blind cane and some magic detection abilities. She's fine and is actually one of the few people who can find their way through the castle. She wants to be the head of the Justice department ! She's already D34L1NG W1TH TH3 1NJUST1C3S at hogwarts. Usually the culprits ends on the infirmary. She's maybe a bit too violent, but she's fair. She is surprisingly good at flying (better than Nepeta, Karkat and Feferi, even if that's not difficult) : she says that's because she was a dragon in her past life (Signless quietly disagreed but said that she had a strong bond with a dragon in her previous life). She's pretty good with the other classes but absolutely terrible in potions. Nobody knows if she's really that bad or if she messes it up on purpose (her failed potions always explodes). She and Vriska are absolutely the castle's terrors.

Vriska is a pureblood. The hat hesitated between gryffindor and slytherin but she ended up in slytherin. She's absolutely fascinated by acromantulas. She's also extremely disappointed that she cannot be a pirate (she fully intends to take over her mom's criminal network). She's good with potions, particularly the mind-controlling ones (*badum tsss*). She's also good with DADA and transfiguration, in her own way : everything she does in transfiguration class ends looking like a spider.

Equius is a ravenclaw. He grew up in a pureblood family (see Darkleer's part for more details) and kept some pureblood manners. He likes to build magic objects and is absolutely fascinated by muggle technology (and also ashamed bc muggle technology). He's the most discreet person in the whole castle. This boy is tall and buff and always carries metal things, but somehow he's like hidden in the shadows. He's not very good in magic but that's because he always breaks his wand :( he'd trying to learn wandless magic (that's how it's called righ ?) so he can avoid to buy a wand every week. This also happens with broomsticks - he's been definitely banned from flying class after breaking five broomsticks. He loves his house, they're all pretty calm (with a few exceptions) and they don't seem to mind his awkwardness. When he discovered that Sollux and Karkat were Nepeta's triplets, his brain exploded (they're so differents - both mentally and physically. He tought that Nepeta had a crush on Karkat because she was always hugging him. Nope she's just a very affectionate sister and Karkat loves hugs even if he won't admit it).

Eridan is a hufflepuf and he's very disappointed. He wanted to be in slytherin because he kinda got the mentality "pureblood = slytherin, hufflepuf = lame". But well hufflepuf he is. He'll find out later that his house is actually great and full of nice people who support him :) he's pretty good in DADA (his expelliarmus is mortal *badum tsss*) and good with water spells (*badum tsss x2*). He can fly but only because he had hours of training (if he hadn't he would be just as bad as Karkat, Nepeta and Feferi). His dad adopted Feferi when Eridan was like two. He had a crush on her for five years then realized that being her best friend was better (listen I want them to be happy and without major relationship drama). He's animagus but nobody knows except Feferi and Karkat (and that's becayse Karkat saw him on his animagus form by accident) he hides it because he's a seahorse (*badum tsss x3*) and he thinks it's lame and people will make fun of him but he enjoys being able to breathe underwater so... He's that kind of wizard who claims that muggle are disgusting but actually hides muggle books under his bed.

Feferi is technically a pureblood since Eridan's dad adopted her but her mother is actually the Selkies queen (yes I'm talking about the Condesce) and her father is a unknown wizard. Since she's not fully selkie she doesn't have the turn-into-a-seal thing but she can still breathe under water and swim really fast. She's a Slytherin (Eridan was jealous at first). She's just as bad with flying as Karkat and Nepeta - she's afraid of heights. She's a pretty good student but she's especially good in herbology. Like Eridan she's good with water spells (*badum tsss x4*). She's pretty ambitious (that's why she's in slytherin) : she wants to be the Minister. To change the magic world ! But like in a good sense. She wants to introduce muggle technology into the wizard world ! That far she gained the support of the Captor-Vantas-Leijon family (especially Psiioniic, who works in the muggle side with computers and Signless who knows a lot about muggle things) and Jade (come on she's a scientist). She's very determined >:)

So much for having no ideas... I wanted to do the Beta kids but this post is already long enough. Lets' just say that Jane is in slytherin, Jake in Gryffindor and Dirk and Roxy in ravenclaw. Thanks to @cornusblr ;) you kinda helped me I think you'll recognize some things.

76 notes · View notes

bees-aus · 5 years ago

Text

HLVRAI ROLESWAP AU

[ Main tag: #SWAP AU ]

Roleswap AU is just like it sounds- an AU where everyone's roles are switched! However, what causes this AU to stand out from the rest is that roles may be swapped... but species and personality, in most cases, are not! In this AU, Gordon + Benrey are swapped, G-Man and Tommy are swapped, Coomer and Bubby are swapped, Forzen and Darnold, and Joshua and Josh (who works at Gamestop) are swapped!

Gordon Freeman

[ he/him ] [ Reference image ]

Gordon is a college dropout who had a dream of becoming a scientist, but really couldn’t handle it. In some cruel twist of irony, he ends up with a job at Black Mesa… as a security guard. It had great benefits and you didn’t really seem to do anything, so… why not? Sure, he’s a little bitter, but it’s steady, easy, has decent wages, and he at least gets to hang out around scientists. And at least he’s forced to keep up a workout regimen, which is probably the biggest thing he has going for his mental health. Also streams games in his free time. He’d been working there for quite a while when he suddenly got shifted to a different division- something about a big project needing heavier guarding. That’s when he met Benrey- who he thought was fishy as hell. And maybe he was excited to actually be able to do something once in this damn job. Of course, shit immediately goes wrong. Despite everything going to shit- Gordon is sure that his bosses will pull through and fix everything, so he does his best to try and do his job and make sure Benrey doesnt go anywhere he’s not supposed to. Benrey proceeds to completely ignore him, and use his inhuman powers to completely thwart every attempt Gordon makes to make the man listen. Ends up unwillingly becoming the final boss because of Tommy’s thwarting, and hes to be killed by science team, and then manually saved by Gman, Benrey and Tommy.

Benrey

[ they/them + he/him ] [ Reference image ]

Just like canon, Benrey is very much not human and a pain in Gordon’s ass. He’s the head test subject for all of the Xen projects, since his inhuman status prevents him from being killed or injured by most radiation and xen lifeforms that would kill humans. Doesn’t really care about his job, but Tommy roped him into it and he owes him one. Plus, the pay is decent to get things for his son, Joshua- who definitely takes after his dad. When the game starts, he starts playing it for funsies. However, it becomes a lot less fun when he realizes the game is becoming all too real. He hadn't worried about his arm getting cut off- not until it didn't grow back, due to it being a scripted event. Not only that, but Tommy lets him know that when the game ends... they all might die. So he helps bounce ideas off Tommy of how to stop it- with some consequences. They end up causing Gordon to be roped into being the final boss, and has to save him with Tommy and G-Man's help.

Joshua

[ he/him + ??? ] [ reference image ]

Just like Benrey, Joshua isn’t human- and appears even moreso, since the kid has no interest in trying to appear human. Which Benrey at least tries, for his coworkers sake. About 6-8 mentally, his physical age isn’t really disclosed. He’s currently in his “molting phase”, as Benrey calls it; causing him to shed everywhere and try and itch himself on everything. As well as chewing. And hissing. And clawing the furniture. Despite that, they’re surprisingly well behaved when prompted, and listen to Benrey… decently well. Has an interest in Gordon, though that interest seems to half be trying to chew on all of Gordon’s clothes. Mainly watches Westerns at home or hangs out with Tommy or G-Man while Benrey is working. Has a strange love for cowboys. Calls Benrey “Bany” or “beedee”, Gordon “Hoofs”, Tommy “Eggs”, Gman “Chicken”, Coomer “Murphy”, and Bubby “Packy” as their main nicknames. Can’t read, but is a master Heavenly Sword player, amongst other games. Loves Minecraft in particular.

Tommy Coolatta

[ any pronouns ] [ reference image pending ]

Tommy is the son and successor to one of the more influential interdimensional buisnessmen, G-Man. When his father decided he was done, Tommy stepped up to the plate and took over the business willingly for several reasons- including simple pursuit of knowledge. He met Benrey long even before he took over the business, which is why he trusted him to help him with his project and appointed him to Xen experimentation- with pay, of course. He became self-aware when the "game" started, and though he tried not to interfere much, he got scared when he realized that when the game ended... they might all go with it. So, he decided to confide in Benrey- as they'd been friends for a long time; before Tommy had even taken over his fathers' position. Together they came up with a plan to try and delete the final boss- and it was this that caused Gordon to glitch and take over the role.

G-Man

[ he/him + xe/xem ]

After his son decided he was ready to take over the family business, G-Man decided to retire. He'd never really had time to simply... not do anything before. So he decided to indulge and start learning about more specifics instead of being involved with everything in a broad sense. One of his personal projects was creating a pet for himself- the "perfect" cat, a black oriental shorthair named La Croix. Though he claims she's perfect, she's... well, completley evil. But don't tell him that. Anyway, one day Tommy called him up and asked him for a favor- a client wanted Black Mesa to develop portaling technology to Xen, and he didn't really have to time to teach the humans. So, begrudgingly as a favor to his son, he posed as a scientist hired by Black Mesa to help fund and lead the research team. Much to his chagrin, that also involves working with Benrey, who he never really cared for. When all hell breaks lose, he's forced to accompany the rest of the team through the game for Tommy's sake- and because he actually decently likes the Coomer and Bubby fellows.

Dr. Coomer

[ he/him ]

Coomer is on of Black Mesa's experiments on creating the perfect security and scientist hybrid- if they could just have one person in both roles, it would be so much easier! Unfortunately, their testing didn't go so well. He's the most successful of his batch- and successful he is! He's got the brains of a scientist and the brawns of... well, certainly a lot more than your average security guard. Plus the psychokinesis. Really, he's the perfect package... if only they could properly replicate him. They decided to place him in the Xen department due to his multi functional abilities, and the fact that he got along rather well with the lead scientist there- G-man. Also, he's the only one who can really keep Bubby in check.

Bubby

[ they/them + he/him ]

Another one of Black Mesa's experiments- this time, in cybernetics. He was originally purposed to be withstanding of Xen atmosphere and basically work as a living space probe, but the idea was quickly scrapped. Still, they had a perfectly good brain, so... they simply stuck him in the scientist department instead. Though he's rather small and frail, he's by no means any less dangerous. A good portion of his body is advanced tech; a whole arsenal of tools store and hidden away in his body. Like a living swiss army knife of doom. Some of these features include giant, insectoid blade legs, a mini flamethrower, lasers, science tools... you get the gist.

Darnold

[ he/him ]

Darnold was Gordon's roomate back in college. Though he wanted to graduate in mixology- when Gordon dropped out, he got a new roommate, and things started to go south from there. Long story short, he decided to join the military for help with college and getting his degree. Unfortunately, Darnold is not a brave man. He did not want to be on this mission. He doesn't know why he ever even thought of this. This was a horrible idea. Oh fuck, oh no- But it's a bit too late now, once he's separated from the rest of his squad in an alien infested laboratory. When he finally meets the rest of science team, he quickly surrenders and dips out- but unfortunately, gets taken hostage by an evil cat named La Croix. Once G-Man manages to calm his pet, he books it, escaping the facility, quitting the military. Fortunately for him, Black Mesa's hush money (that Tommy provided, of course) was more than enough to let him get any degree he wants.

Forzen

[ he/him ]

When Darnold and Gordon both dropped out of college... Forzen was the one who decided to pick up the open dorm, and also the empty spot in Darnold's mixology class. Turns out, he was pretty damn good at that. Good enough that he decided that's what he wanted to do instead of join the military- fuck those guys. He went on to get a full, successful degree, and get hired as the official Black Mesa Mixologist. Though he's still a huge, buff, brute-looking man- he passionately works making his elixirs (all of which are lovingly named after beyblades, of course). He's pretty annoyed when a bunch of weirdos come knocking on his department, but he obliges because he has the perfect elixir to test on whatever the one-armed dude is- though they all quickly leave after a pretty heated discussion about TF2.

#HLVRAI #swap au

17 notes · View notes

perspective-series · 6 years ago

Text

Exposed Perspective (9)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Fear, panic, and feelings of helplessness.

THIS IS THE THIRD STORY IN A TRILOGY. READ “A Third Perspective” AND “Switched Perspectives” FOR THIS TO MAKE SENSE!

(Check the reblog for the links to the previous chapters and the TWO prequels!)

———————————————————————————————

“Isn’t there some sort of borrower protocol to prevent this?” Roman asked, looking down at his borrower friends.

The borrowers glanced at each other before they both shook their heads. “No. If we’re found, that’s it. End of story. It’s just, before all of this, we’ve been… ‘lucky’ enough that the few humans that have found borrowers never revealed it to anyone else.” Virgil explained. Their kinds luck was really something. But it looked as if it had finally run out.

“But- it can’t possibly be just luck.” Roman insisted. “This is the twenty-first century, there are cameras everywhere. This cannot be the first time a borrower was caught on tape.”

The two borrowers blinked and looked at each other once again, a silent conversation happening. “You...do make a good point,” Patton admitted, suddenly confused.

“But borrowers have never been revealed, before now.” Virgil winced at that. “It...has to be some sort of luck or something, right?” Now Virgil was starting to doubt. But if not luck, what else could it be?

“Maybe it’s never become big news?” Roman offered. “Thomas, can you try and find any articles about borrowers?”

“I’m trying,” Thomas answered, already on it.

“Or perhaps borrowers have been revealed, but then disappeared and were taken for a myth,” Logan suggested. “Many folk tales are inhabited by tiny humanoid figures.”

Both borrowers were shocked at that. “Wait, there are?” Patton asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Of course!” Roman nodded. “Fairies, brownies, gnomes, elves...well, the tiny elves anyways. They tend to change size.”

“It’s possible those mystical creatures are based off a rather un-mystical discovery.” Logan reasoned, pulling into the apartment complex.

Virgil hummed in thought. Could those myths be based on his kind? He could never be for sure but it wasn’t a very comforting thought. “So, what? You think this will blow over into some myth or something?” Virgil highly doubted that would happen in this case.

“Oh, no.” Logan’s bluntness instantly dashed all their hopes. “No, this is far more severe than a mere sighting or a bit of film. You have to remember this footage was already distributed to over a dozen scientifically-minded individuals, all with at least a master's degree under their belt, and the original video still belongs to a psychopath who wants to ruin our lives.”

“...great,” Roman said once he was able to stop gaping at Logan’s lack of tact. “Thanks for the rousing speech, Albert Ein-stink.” He hopped out of the car, rolling his eyes.

“What did I say?” Logan’s brow furrowed, hopping out as well.

The borrowers could only sit there in silence, leaning against each other as support. Everything was gonna change now. Borrowers would be caught and discovered...and it would be all their fault.

“What did you say?” Roman half-laughed, glad they were the only ones in the lobby as they began to make their way upstairs to the apartments. “You just crushed all their hopes and dreams in one fell blow! Thanks for ruining the mood, dr. gloom.”

“I was trying to be reasonable!” Logan argued, taking the stairs two at a time to get ahead and unlock the door.

“No, you were trying to be smart.” Roman sneered, walking past Logan and into the living room. “As usual.”

“Roman, don’t,” Patton said quietly. “Please, don’t fight. Not now.”

Virgil nodded. Their humans fighting was the last thing they needed.

Roman glanced down at the borrowers, feeling guilty all of a sudden. “...sorry.” He apologized, setting them down on the coffee table.

“Thank you,” Patton said, giving Roman a small smile. Virgil sighed, looking up to find Thomas as he entered the room.

“Have you found anything yet, Thomas?” Virgil asked, impatient and worried.

“No, nothing yet.” Thomas shook his head, still glued to his phone. “I think I’m gonna head downstairs, see if I get any more success on my laptop.”

“We’ll be here,” Roman said with a shrug, watching Thomas walk right back out the door.

Virgil watched Thomas leave and then sighed as he collapsed on the table and then laid down on his back. “...Our whole kind is screwed.”

Patton couldn’t help but agree with Virgil.

“Well, maybe there is something to that whole myth theory.” Roman hypothesized. “Maybe this will all blow over? Certainly, if nobody finds anything it’ll die out eventually, right?”

“Do you know of any borrowers in the immediate area?” Logan asked, closing the door and kneeling next to Roman.

“No,” Patton answered, seeing as how Virgil was still lying on the table. “Not that we know of. But, then again, we haven’t left this building in about two years. Or have checked the other buildings...there’s really no way for us to know.”

“Is there any way for us to check around?” Roman offered. “We could help you guys scout, maybe warn anybody else.”

“That’s a terrible idea,” Virgil spoke up before Patton could. Virgil sat up so he was sitting. “No one would listen or believe us if we showed up with a pair of humans. Besides, there’s no way we would be able to reach enough of them…”

“I suppose all we can do is hope that their borrower instincts protect them,” Logan admitted. “Though humans may be looking for them, the only true consequence is if they are caught. After all...according to the tape, only the existence of two borrowers can be proven.” Logan gazed thoughtfully down at said two borrowers.

“Unless they try and gas them out,” Virgil said, causing Patton to gasp. “Or tear down the walls to find them.” Virgil’s mind was working overtime at this point. “And if the government were to get involved, with all their technology and things? We’d be screwed for sure.”

“Okay, well, I seriously doubt the government is going to get involved with a simple pest problem.” Roman rolled his eyes. “But glad to know you think so highly of yourself.”

“Look, let’s think about this logically,” Logan advised. “Borrowers often take up residence in human houses, yes? Not places of business?”

“W-Well, usually but there are some instances where-” Patton started but Virgil cut him off, glaring at Roman.

“I’m sorry, did you just call us pests. What the hell, Roman?”

Roman’s eyes widened, quickly backpedaling. “No! I mean, well, I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just... oh come on, what else would you call it? You’re talking as though people are gonna call an exterminator.”

“And they might! But that doesn’t mean you say it like that!” Virgil huffed, calming down a little. “Humans are going to see us in so many different ways. Pests, pets, science experiments. Why wouldn’t the government get involved in the ‘find of the century’.”

“That’s just it, though.” Logan jumped in, stopping Roman from apologizing further. “Borrowers have to actually be found. While it is true that humans could go to drastic measures, the individuals who currently possess the footage do not have the authority to search through every household. They would need to gain permission from every individual homeowner, who would, in turn, have to pay the costs of said extraction methods. It’s highly unlikely that a person would be willing to put so many resources towards a chance discovery. It is equivalent to putting your life’s savings into lottery tickets: foolhardy and uncommon in real life.”

Virgil huffed, looking down. “I don’t doubt that humans will find ways. After all, it didn’t take much for the two of you to find us.”

Patton nodded slowly, agreeing with Virgil. “We’ve both seen humans do...a lot to get what they want.”

“That...does lead to my other realization,” Logan admitted. “The only way anyone of those individuals has a sure chance of discovering borrowers is to get their hands on one of you. It’s the only guaranteed source of information and the only way to determine the validity of the tape. At the very least Dee knows our identities, and I would not be surprised if our faces made an appearance in the tape itself.”

Patton felt himself pale. “You think there will be humans coming after us?” Patton asked, not liking the sound of that.

“Most definitely.” Logan nodded gravely.

“Well, what the heck are we supposed to do with that molotov cocktail?” Roman frowned, looking over at Logan quizzically for answers.

Virgil frowned, looking down and fidgeting with his poncho. “Maybe the two of us should...leave. Go off on our own, that way if they come looking here or with you guys, they won’t find us.”

Patton’s eyes widened. “B-But…” Patton started, trailing off.

“Indeed.” Logan sighed. “My thoughts exactly.”

“But you can’t just leave!” Roman’s eyes widened, looking down at his friends. He didn’t want them to leave so soon after meeting them.

“Me neither!” Patton cried. He ran over to be closer to Roman.

“I don’t either,” Virgil admitted, glancing over at Logan. The two of them had just become friends, after all. “But it might be the safest for us.”

“...we could all move.” Roman murmured, almost so quiet that Logan didn’t hear him.

“Roman, don’t be preposterous.” Logan chided.

“I’m not being preposterous!” Roman exclaimed. “Think about it- you can’t stay here anyways. You’ve managed to anger like every head of your department and they’ll all know of your involvement soon enough.”

“That doesn’t mean I should just leave town,” Logan argued.

“If they have to move, we should move.” Roman insisted. “It’s only fair.”

“Yeah! And then we can all be together still!” Patton exclaimed. Virgil bit his lip, looking at Logan.

“Isn’t moving kind of...expensive for humans?” Virgil asked. Not quite knowing how it worked but knowing it did involve money.

“It...can be,” Logan admitted. “Although cost isn’t necessarily a deciding factor here.”

“We can certainly find creative ways to make ends meet.” Roman smiled, clearly indicating his acting talents. “When there’s a will, there’s a way.”

“But would moving cities really work?” Virgil asked, still worried about all this. He did want to stay with his friends but he also feared getting caught by other humans as well.

“It would certainly lower our chance of random encounters, and I doubt many individuals would be so dedicated as to stalk us in the next town over…” Logan began to seriously mull over the possibility.

“Oh my goodness, we could get a house together!” Roman gasped, eyes beginning to sparkle with excitement.

Patton gasped as well. “That would be awesome!” That means they would all be able to hang out together, all the time!

Virgil bit his lip. “...I really do want this to work. I don’t want to leave you guys either.” Virgil said this, mostly directed at Logan.

Logan met Virgil’s gaze, feeling his heart swell slightly.

“I suppose we’re moving then,” Logan said with a slight smile.

“Yes!” Roman pumped the air victoriously with his fist. “Can we get a garden? And a wraparound porch? And one of those porch swings, you know?”

“We’re going for practicality here, Roman.” Logan reminded him gently.

“Yay! This is gonna be great!” Patton exclaimed, right along with Roman. Virgil smiled softly.

“We’re gonna be okay?” Virgil said it in a way that it was almost hard to hear that is was actually a question.

“We’re gonna be okay.” Roman nodded.

“Now, if this is going to work, we will need to get started on preparations right away.” Logan clasped his hands together.

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Patton asked.

“You two should begin packing all of your belongings,” Logan explained. “If there is anything particularly heavy or cumbersome you wish to bring, Roman and I can prepare a box.”

Virgil nodded. “Sounds good. Pat? Wanna get started on that?” Virgil personally didn’t have a lot of stuff he was gonna take but he knew Patton would probably need that box.

Patton nodded. “Yep! Let’s go!” Patton looked at the humans expectantly.

Roman put his hand down, eager to give his friend a ride.

“Roman, you should begin packing as well,” Logan instructed.

“I got it, don’t worry.” Roman waved him off.

Patton climbed onto Roman’s hand with a smile while Virgil instead went closer to Logan. His home was here, in Logan’s apartment, after all. It wouldn’t do well for him to go with Roman and Patton.

“Be back later!” Roman smiled, departing with Patton to go home.

“Care for a ride as well?” Logan raised an eyebrow, offering a hand as Virgil got closer.

“That’d be great,” Virgil said, stepping on. As he settled down, he let out a small chuckle. “Kind of funny all this happened after we made up, huh?”

“Indeed.” Logan agreed as he stood up, walking Virgil back towards the hall. “It seems there’s never going to be a dull moment when the two of us are together.”

“Yeah.” Virgil agreed. Though hopefully, the moments would be more fun once they got away from all this stuff.

“I’ll get to work on house hunting,” Logan said, setting his hand down in the still open hole that was Virgil’s room. “Hopefully by tomorrow morning, I’ll have made some progress.”

“See you tomorrow then,” Virgil said as he hopped down into his home.

Logan nodded in acknowledgment before heading to his bedroom. There was a lot of work to be done.

***

“Thank you all for coming in on such short notice.” Emile Picani said, gazing out on a sea of familiar faces. Every recipient of the email sat before him. Dee sat in the back, a proud smirk almost permanently plastered to his face. Picani frowned at him. “Now, before we begin, has anyone forwarded the email?”

“Only to my son.” One man answered, gesturing to the teen sat behind him.

“‘Sup.” Remy waved a hand in greeting.

“Yes, I am aware of Remy’s involvement.” Picani sighed.

“I don’t understand why I’m here.” Remy pointed out. “You already reported my video or whatever.”

“I did not report your video.” Picani shook his head.

“Fine, someone did.” Remy rolled his eyes, going back to his phone. “I get it, whatever, someone’s pissed that I keep trying to put it on the internet.”

“In the future, perhaps it would be best not to share faculty emails with your children.” Picani’s tone was tired, clearly strained from this whole scenario. “Now, has anyone else shared the email?” There was a chorus of head shaking and Picani breathed a sigh of relief. “Good.”

“Was that video...real?” Remy asked, engaging again briefly.

“...well…” Picani seemed a bit unsure for a moment as many eyes looked back at him expectantly.

“Oh yes,” Dee answered for him, eyes turning to the back of the room. Dee gave them a grin. “That’s why I acquired your assistance in the first place, boy.”

“Wait a moment.” The man from earlier turned around, frowning at Remy. “You’re involved in all this?”

“Well….” Remy pushed his sunglasses further up his face, curling in on himself and looking as though he wanted the chair to swallow him whole. “You see dad-”

Before Remy could blubber his way through an explanation, the door at the front of the room opened and two individuals in suits stepped inside.

“Oh good, we’re right on time.” The one in the beanie said, grinning.

“I’m sorry, this is a private meeting,” Picani explained, furrowing his brows. “Who exactly are you?”

“The name’s Joan, Special Victims Unit Officer.” Joan smiled, shaking Picani’s outstretched hand enthusiastically. “Heard you guys had a run-in with some borrowers!”

“Ah, well, yes, but-” Picani’s eyes widened as a few more suit-clad individuals walked in. The shorter individual with colorful hair that had arrived with Joan was now right in front of him, holding what looked to be a bright white light attached to a rod.

“Alright, sleepy time.” The Agent explained. With a flash of light, Picani blinked, wondering why he was here only briefly before his eyelids fluttered closed.

“Woah, I gotcha.” Joan caught Picani, laying him on the floor. Across the room other agents were doing the same, Remy only putting up a brief fight as his sunglasses had to be removed for the process to work.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Dee hissed, standing up so fast that his chair was flung backwards. Instantly two broad-shouldered Agents restrained him on either side.

“Oh, just your run of the mill memory wipe.” Joan sauntered over to Dee, their partner following. “So, you must be Dee.”

“What, you think you can pick on borrowers just because they’re tiny?” The short individual got up in Dee’s face, looking pissed.

“Easy there, Talyn.” Joan put their arm out to halt Talyn before turning back to Dee. “Heard you’ve been causing a lot of trouble out here. Didn’t anyone tell you the borrower rules? It’s an awfully big secret to keep. But not only did you fail to keep it, you’ve also violated a whole slew of ethics laws as well.”

“I demand to know what’s going on!” Dee roared.

“You’re coming with us because you were a jerk to tinies.” Talyn deadpanned. “Put him in the paddywagon, boys.” The buff Agents gave a nod, dragging a screaming Dee out the door. Talyn noticed that along the way Dee seemed to have dropped his phone. They picked it up, scrolling through the files.

“Alright, got it.” They confirmed, deleting the file. Looking around the room, other agents had just finished doing the same on the other faculty’s devices.

“Man, what a mess.” Joan groaned. “Why can’t people just mind their own business and leave tiny peeps alone?”

“I mean, we would be out of a job.” Talyn shrugged.

“That’s true.” Joan stretched their arms above their head. “Alright, almost done. Ready to go to the source?”

“Yup.” Talyn nodded, already pulling up the address on their phone as the two headed out to their car.

90 notes · View notes

c-is-for-circinate · 6 years ago

Text

It occurs to me that I promised y’all I’d tell you stories from the D&D campaign I’m running, and it’s now been a week since the first session, so I should definitely do some of that! I can already tell it’s going to be a fun-as-shit campaign. If nothing else, my party and I are collectively five variably-queer ladies who met at knitting group and range in age from “haven’t played D&D since 2e at GenCon in the 90′s” to “too young to remember fandom before AO3 existed”. We’re real fucking cool. I am going to have to explain, in detail, so many textiles and other interesting crafts.

I am a WORDY-ASS MOTHERFUCKER, so the whole tale will probably get pretty long in the telling, but: welcome to the continent of Nokomoris, on a world that probably has its own name but I haven’t decided on it yet because naming things is hard, dude.

[here’s where I will probably link game session posts in the future once they exist]

Hark, a backstory! (And, our four players)

IF YOU RECOGNIZE THIS CAMPAIGN INFO BECAUSE YOU ARE PLAYING IT, CONSIDER YOURSELF UNDER DM ORDERS TO BACK OFF AND STOP READING. I KNOW YOU FUCKERS ARE ON TUMBLR TOO, THERE IS A REASON I DIDN’T GIVE YOU MY HANDLE. (I love you all very much and yes, there are spoilers in here. Go away and text me now.)

Eastern Nokomoris, where our story takes place (or at least begins) is in a prosperous age of thriving city-states and collapsed kingdoms. Most trade, culture, and even centralized government is based among the Nine Cities, massive metropolises located around the Attiks Sea and nearby lands. Nearly a million people live in the nine cities, which are connected to each other via well-established sea and land trade routes, and also by what many are calling the most important technological/magical development of the modern age: a network of massive permanent teleportation circles, thirty feet in diameter.

The circle network is big enough to carry large trade wagons, livestock, huge parties of people, and even troops and war machines. Sea and land trade has dropped by half between the Nine Cities in the past fifteen years, and continues to decline. The cities themselves are thriving and prosperous, and it’s easier than ever to get beef and leather from Karna Vi, wool from Yefira, pottery from Celkan or metalwork from Tiers no matter where you live.

Outside of the cities, it’s another story. Dozens of once-prosperous kingdoms, and even the whole of the Trava Empire, have fallen in the past seventy years: first during the Church Wars, and then in the yeas of chaos and rebuilding once the Wars were over. Small towns everywhere that once paid taxes to a crown, and were protected in turn by royal troops and much-needed aid in times of hardship, have been left entirely to stand or fall on their own. Some have thrived, becoming local centers of trade for whole coalitions of abandoned towns nearby. Others have disappeared, died out, or simply faded into the wilderness, forgotten. The great open plains of Highnorth where the Trava Empire once ruled, the endless golden sea of the Southgrass, the peaks and valleys of the Thavine Mountains, the deep many-colored forest of the Iris Peninsula--who knows what’s out there any more?

And in the Midlands, where the worst of the Church Wars took place...well, precious few towns even survived to rebuild in the first place. Land that once held the most fertile farms in all Nokomoris is desolate now, scarred and cursed. Most of the battlefield has been picked over by intrepid adventurers and out-of-work soldiers in the six decades since the Wars ended, already raided for magic and treasure. The ruins remain, and the valleys where nothing will ever grow again, and the eternal shadow over the once-Holy City, and who knows what sorts of twisted things living in places people no longer go?

But it’s been sixty years since the Church Wars ended, and for most people, life is good. Small-town farmers may no longer have the protection of any crown, but small technological advancements in plow design and crop rotation mean that they can produce more food than they need and sell the extra in the nearest city for coin. More and more young people, freed from heavy labor on their parents’ farms, have learned reading, writing, history, and some amount of arcane talent. The Grand Universities in the nine cities are thriving, full of scholars of all ages eager to learn and advance the course of knowledge everywhere.

Of course, there are ten times more scholars in the Grand Universities than there are professorships or other high-ranking positions to hire them to...and that is where our story begins.

Our intrepid party thus far includes:

Marion, a human paladin of indeterminate gender, whose human family stands among the nobles of the great city of Karna Vi, where our story begins. Marion is an acolyte of the Church of Lost Things, which concerns itself with every god that does not easily fit within the purview of the other seven Churches, and also with every god that has been erased or forgotten by time (for all gods deserve worship, and all gods are capable of smiting those that neglect them, sooner or later). They’re also a math major, largely because computer science hasn’t been invented yet.

Marion’s really hoping to be able to build and program a simple computing machine, a la Babbage’s Difference Engine (or Arthur C. Clarke’s The Nine Billion Names of God), to tabulate and generate all the possible names of every god ever to exist, which seems much more efficient than just combing piecemeal broken historical records trying to find them. It has not been going well. In a Church system where paladins are often more concerned with protecting people from the gods than for��the gods, cracking this problem will let Marion figure out who the gods even are like nobody ever before. But there are variables missing, and theomathematical constants they can’t even identify yet, let alone calculate--and they’re not going to find here.

Three interesting facts about Marion, as per their player:

They once spent an entire week holed up in a lab over a holiday break and were declared missing-presumed-dead. Police searches were involved. It was a little bit of a scandal.

They are by far the most unremarkable and constantly forgotten member of their entire family. (This perhaps says more about their family than about them.)

Everyone on campus is fairly sure they interfered with the campus clock tower specifically to give students more time on finals last semester. This is false. They were trying to run a different experiment entirely, messed with the clock tower by accident, and didn’t actually notice it was finals week even after it was over.

Kevin, an elf barbarian sportsball champion, hero of the university’s sportsball team for the past ten years straight. Kevin is a foot and a half taller than any self-respecting elf ought to be, not to mention twice as broad. He’s finally starting to acknowledge the fact that there is, in fact, no NFElf, and you can’t be a “professional sportsballer” within the Elven Ascendancy, and his bemused parents would really like him to do something with his life beyond playing those little games with the ball and all of those...non-elf people.

Kevin is also an art history student, mostly out of desire for an easy major that’ll make his parents happy while he happily spends most of his time out on the sportsball field. He’s got high strength, basic middle intelligence, and negative wisdom. He’s sat through more history classes than the entire rest of the party put together. He understands approximately none of it. Still--he can’t do sports forever, and art history makes his parents happy, and he might as well go on a quest to uncover lost art and artifacts and maybe prove he’s an actual adult sooner than later, right?

Three interesting facts about Kevin, as per his player:

Back in his home city playing little league sportsball, there were definite (and accurate) rumors about this wild elf that could and would straight-up squish opposing players. That’s how the college recruiters found him in the first place. It’s definitely why they wanted him.

He has so many groupies. So many. They come in so many different species and genders and Kevin is on board with every single one. (On board? On bed? On convenient flat surface? Does it particularly matter? Not to Kevin!)

Kevin is covered in tattoos, and there are all sorts of rumors about what sort of eldritch magic they hold--like, that panther is probably a real panther bound by elven magic, right? A pretty persistent rumor suggests that the tattoos all commemorate individual opposing team members he’s...either hospitalized or fucked, or both, literally nobody is sure. (In point of fact, none of the above are true, and Kevin just has terrible taste in tattoos and a pretty stunning lack of both impulse control and supervision--but why quash the stories?)

Kou, a halfling bard whose girlfriend just left three weeks ago on a research expedition of her own, taking with her approximately 85% of Kou’s impulse control. In theory, Kou is an alchemy major, studying science to make her scholar parents happy. In practice, she probably spends more time sneaking into music seminars and/or busking on the street for spare change than actually doing alchemy, but her girlfriend was a Good Responsible Influence who made sure Kou didn’t get kicked out of the department, and to be fair, alchemy can blow things up sometimes so that’s always good.

Kou doesn’t so much have plans for the future as vague, contradictory aspirations, but that doesn’t mean she’s not smart. She’s learned enough magic to use a set of recording stones to play, loop, and modulate beats or bits of music, thereby making her Nokomoris’s very first DJ, and she really wants to be a professional musician someday. She just hasn’t figured out how to reconcile her dreams with her parents’ wishes, the lives they’ve worked so hard to create, or a halfling cultural legacy that has more to do with riding around snowfields covered in furs waving spears than it does with brightly-colored house parties.

Three interesting facts about Kou, as per her player:

Kou very definitely once spent a full day dressed up in halfling traditional garb, furs and all, including a very fuzzy fur hat. It wasn’t until that evening that somebody saw the hat move and everyone realized she’d been wearing a curled-up live fox the whole time.

She once managed to create an incredibly destructive compound in alchemy lab out of ingredients that should not have actually been able to react that way. She found out it was corrosive when she accidentally spilled it on six months’ worth of a different professor’s lab notes. (She got an A anyway, because her lab professor hated the other guy, but that has more to do with Professors Ayanova and M’tiersi than Kou, really.)

She absolutely goes down to counter-protest every damn time those Family First assholes try to rally downtown in favor of child-producing (read: heterosexual, single-species) families. Rumor says she once broke her guitar over a protester’s head, which horrifies her--Kou’s guitar is the most expensive thing she owns! She used their own protest sign, like a sensible person.

Reigenleif, a mostly-female-probably gnome rogue known around campus as “Beer Run” for her skills at somehow always having access to better and cheaper beer than anyone else, and her general willingness to deliver to parties (for a small additional fee). Reigenleif’s parents are small-time forgers who ended up mostly working for a local crime organization after a series of bad luck and political upheavals brought them to Karna Vi a few decades ago. They really want their kids to go clean, avoid all the uncertainties and occasional jail sentences/executions that accompany a life of crime, and maybe make a little something of themselves. Reigenleif, who has zero interest in staying on the right side of the law, mostly does odd jobs for a different, not-technically-rival criminal organization, and carefully does not tell her parents about it, ever.

Technically she’s an engineering major, and she’s more than got the brains for it, plus the accompanying curiosity about metallurgy and arcane artificing. Still, she spends most of her time helpfully involving herself in other peoples’ projects rather than running her own. (Her own projects have a lot more to do with figuring out new forging techniques and criminal tricks, and don’t look very good in the end-of-year department report.) Enjoys causing trouble, not being in it.

Three interesting facts about Reigenleif, as per her player:

She absolutely owns a copy of the provost’s signet ring, which she can and has used to create documents allowing herself access to all sorts of University resources. Like most things, she’ll share the use of it, quietly, for a price. (She also owns a copy of Marion’s family signet ring, which is a much longer story that I as the DM do not know yet--can’t wait for that.)

Once captured and maneuvered a live swan into somebody’s office to cause as much chaos as possible so Reigenleif could get up to something somewhere else. Is a little bit of a legend for it.

Aside from her not-actually-that-impressive family legacy of crime, Reigenleif’s spread a quiet rumor around school that she’s descended from the famous marauding pirate, Thrand Slender-Leg. It’s possible that Thrand Slender-Leg never actually existed. It’s possible that nobody had ever heard of him before Reigenleif made him up. She’s certainly not telling.

#C the DM #dungeons and dragons #The Yarn Crew goes adventuring

44 notes · View notes