#like her just dropping captain lore and everyone is like HOW the fuck do you know that

[natjennie]

okay but the captain and kitty being bffs is so important to me and now im thinking about a world where, after the little garden skipping adventure, they go on walks around the grounds and talk and yeah cap is secretive but he's secretive in that dad way where if they have a captive audience they'll tell the craziest stories you've ever heard and kitty loves to just stand there and zone out looking at the clouds while cap rambles but the information does still seep in. so she knows all about havers and the letter and the mine and all sorts of cap stories no one has ever heard.

and one day cap is like really withdrawn, staring out the window at the garden and sighing and the rest of the ghosts dont know what to do because cap doesnt ever want their help, but then kitty goes over to console him and then she walks back over to the rest of them and theyre like what the fuck is up, is there anything we can do whats going on.

and she's like "oh, yeah, this is just the anniversary of william's death, you know, lieutenant havers? that man captain was in love with during the war who left him for the north africa front. it turns out havers loved him too, but was so afraid of getting caught he requested a transfer, and captain didnt know until william passed away. there was a letter addressed to the captain in his belongings when they got sent back to his sister, so it wasnt until she mailed it that the captain knew he felt the same way. so sad, isnt it, that they were right there, loving each other the whole time and couldnt do anything about it. for all those years. it's just tragic! but I'm not supposed to say anything about it because- oh goodness!" and she puts her hands over her mouth and everybody just. jaw dropped looks to the captain who looks Mortified.

[fixfoxnox]

good FUCKING LOORRDDTT

that price fic was so absolutely amazing 😮‍💨🤌🏽 fuck man that shit was piping hot friend… PIPING

respectfully sir —more PLEEAAASSSE 👹🫴🏽

Back Home - Captain Price x Trans! Male Reader (NSFW)

Description: John Price's boyfriend returns home from a mission so he bends him over his desk as a welcome home present

Warnings: Slight Dom/Sub, Slight Overstimulation, pet names

Names Used: Sweet boy, love, brat. No use of Y/N

Word count: 5.5k

Note: We're just gonna call this series "John Price and his boyfriend" cause now there is lore and backstory on how reader and Price met so-

NSFW Under the Cut!

“We’re closing!” The younger woman behind the bar called out to him, her face pinched in annoyance as he continued into the bar, not paying her any mind. It was clear that she was still new, she didn’t know him yet. “Hey, I said we’re closing!”

He turned to her with wide eyes, surprise written across his face. He hadn’t realized fully that she was talking to him, he’d assumed that she was calling out to someone in the bar but, now that he looked around, he could see that wasn’t the case. He was the only other person in the area. He shifted suddenly, readjusting the duffle bag on his shoulder, the one with all of his things that would need to be washed and cleaned before he got called out again. His mask especially was going to need some TLC. “Oh,” he started slowly, “I’m sorry, I’m-”

She cut him off, “I can’t give you any drinks or food. The chefs left an hour ago and you missed last call. We’re closing.” She stared at him for a moment, he stared back. Finally, she tilted her head toward the door, annoyance clear on her face, “Please leave.” 

He shuffled nervously again. He hated when new hires came in because it was always like this. They never knew before he got there and, though they were just trying to do their jobs, it always ended up with him feeling more awkward than he would have liked. It was never his luck to meet them on a regular night, it always seemed to coincide with when he would return from a mission, or just arrive at the bar late. He opened his mouth to speak, nerves chewing at him, they never believed him when he told them. 

Luckily for him, some god seemed to be smiling down on him that day as the other bartender, the one who did know him, came out from the back. The man gave him a big smile, “Hey! You’re back, welcome back dude!”

The girl looked back and forth between them for a moment before asking, “You know him?”

“Yeah,” the man turned, pulling a glass down from one of the higher shelves. He started to mix together a drink, a little tradition that he’d started for any time that he returned from a mission. “I forgot you’ve not met him yet, this is the boss's boyfriend.” 

He approached the bar slowly, noting the way that the woman’s mouth dropped open slightly and her head tilted to face him. He took the offered drink from the other bartender with a small smile and a nod of his head. “I didn’t know John was dating someone,” the woman spoke quietly, “Sorry man, if I’d known-”

He waved her off quickly, “Don’t worry, it happens with pretty much everyone new at one point or another.” He smiled into his drink taking another sip before asking, “Is he in his office?” 

“Yeah, man,” the male bartender leaned against the counter, “We’re about to head out, if you’d let him know we’re finished up I’d be grateful.” 

He pushed himself away from the bar with a chuckle, “Have a good night.” He gave the two people a slight wave before trekking his way toward the back of the bar, his drink still in hand. He didn’t bother knocking on the door of Price’s office, instead, he just pushed it open, standing in the doorway with a small smile as he watched the other man. Price was focused on one of the papers on his desk, writing something out in a quick flurry. He was a sight for sore eyes to the other man. 

After weeks of being out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by his brothers, dad, and teammates, the sight of his boyfriend was a welcome thing for him. He didn’t move until Price spotted him. The other man had turned to try and grab something, only to catch sight of him and do a quick double take as he realized just who was standing in the doorway to the room. A grin split across Price’s face and he couldn’t help but give a smile back. 

He crossed the room in several quick strides, abandoning his drink on the bookshelf by the door and dropping his duffel along the way so that he could sling his arms around Price’s shoulders and dip down to press their lips together. He gave a sigh at the feeling of the other’s mouth molding against his. This was what he’d missed more than anything during the mission. This feeling, the other’s mouth against his, Price’s hand in his hair gripping tightly to tug him further down. 

Price dominated his mouth, even from his relaxed position in his office chair, even when he had to tug him down to press their lips together. Price’s tongue quickly found its way inside his mouth, just enough that he could open his mouth against his lips, giving him quick nips to his bottom lip and pulling a low whine from him. Price was being rough with his kisses, which he knew meant one thing and one thing only.

After a moment, Price pulled away. He slowly unwinded his hands from his boyfriend’s hair, allowing him to stand up fully. His hands moved down to rub up and down the backs of his thighs, just skating over the beginning curve of his ass before moving back down. He gave a playful hum before tugging the man closer, “How was the mission, love?”

One of his hands landed solidly on Price’s shoulder, the other moved up to lovingly stroke through his hair, “Tiring,” He spoke lowly, “boring. I’m glad to be home.”

Price’s hands continued exploring, moving up and over his ass with a quick squeeze that pulled a gasp from his lips. They dipped under his shirt then, feeling along the skin. “I’m glad you’re home too,” Price muttered to him lowly. He’d dropped his voice into that low purr, the one that had his heart beating faster and his legs shaking beneath him. He was really in for it, it seemed. Those hands moved around the front of his chest, stroking his skin carefully as they moved down further and further until Price could slip his fingers in at the waistband of his pants. 

“You,” He took a careful breath in as Price looked up at him, clear desire in the other man’s eyes, “You just want to get me into a bed,” he accused.

“No,” Price scoffed. His hands moved over and started to undo the button at the top of his pants, “Right here is just fine, we don’t need a bed.” With that, he surged up from his seat, knocking his lips against the other man’s in a fiery kiss. 

The kiss was a searing quick thing, knocking their teeth together with the force in which they connected. Price was quick to lick into his mouth, sucking at his tongue and giving tempting little nips to his bottom lip. He tugged on Price’s hair, a desperate whine leaving his lips as the other man pressed him back against the desk behind him, grinding their lower halves together temptingly. 

Price gave a slow roll of his hips, pulling a desperate gasp from his boyfriend. He could feel the other man’s cock pressing against him through their clothes. A flood of warmth worked its way through his veins at the feeling. His face flushed red and he could do nothing but accept Price’s hands skating across his hips and his cock rutting up against his thigh.

Their kisses grew sloppier, spit slicking their lips as they tried to press closer and closer to one another. Price raised a hand to grab tight to his hair, tugging his boyfriend's head back so that he could press into him harder, fully taking control of the kiss. He broke off after a moment, one last nip given to the other’s lip before he began trailing searing kisses down his throat. Price gave a hum as the man pressed against him gave low moans at the feeling, mumbling out his name, “Fuck, John.”

Price kicked his feet apart then, slotting a thigh between his legs as his mouth left bruises on his skin. Price yanked his hips down roughly, forcing his core to rut against the strong thigh between his legs. The seam of his pants caught on his clit with delicious friction, pulling a startled gasp from him at the move. Price dragged him down again, a low chuckle leaving his lips as he listened to him moan at the move. He was getting wetter, his boxers damp with his own slick as Price encouraged him to ride his thigh. 

With every drag across Price’s thigh, there was a searing friction to his clit. Delicious steady pleasure began to flow through him, drawn out by the man in front of him. On one particular roll of his hips, Price jolted his leg forward, making the feeling much more intense and overwhelming than what had been pressed against him previously. His hips stuttered at the feeling, and the low moan that was pulled from his lips was quickly swallowed as Price shoved their mouths back together, his hands dipping low to force their way under his shirt. 

“Let’s take this off,” Price growled against his lips. He had no choice but to listen, separating from the man in front of him just enough that he could sling his shirt off, tossing it to one of the corners of the small office area. Immediately Price’s mouth was on the exposed skin. 

He tilted his head back, “Please,” he whimpered as Price’s tongue and teeth began to drag over his collarbone, marking the skin of his chest carefully. Price paid him no mind, his hands joining his mouth’s exploration across the exposed skin while his thigh continued providing merciless pressure against his clothed cunt. 

His mouth traced down further and further, kissing along the scars on his chest before finally latching around one of his nipples, giving quick licks and nips to the little nub. His boyfriend reacted with a harsh gasp, his nails digging into Price’s shoulders as he tried to pull him closer. Steady little desperate gasps pulled from his throat as Price brought his other hand up to brush across his other nipple teasingly. It was like the pleasure of the feeling was preventing him from taking in a proper breath. 

Finally, after several moments, Price pulled back. He was quick to pull his own shirt off, tossing it away with his boyfriend’s before slamming their mouth’s back together. His boyfriend was quick to take advantage of the situation, feeling across Price’s chest with deliberate movements. He let his palms brush across the other man’s pecs, his nails just grazing over his nipples to pull a curse from the other man’s lips. “Fuck,” Price’s hands darted down, finding the button to his pants and quickly undoing them. 

He refused to separate his lips from Price’s, chasing after the other man and pulling him back any time he tried to move away. Open-mouthed kisses were exchanged between them, their movements sloppy as their minds focused on other things, like the way that Price was tugging at the top of his pants, yanking them down bit by bit. “God, fucking things,” Price cursed against their mouth, “fucking hate these, so hard to get off of you.”

His boyfriend gave a laugh against his lips, pulling back for a moment before teasing, “You’d probably prefer it if I didn’t wear pants at all.” He pressed closer to Price, making it even harder for the other man to get his pants and boxers down his thighs, “You just want me wet and ready for you all the time.”

Price gave a groan against his mouth, his eyes rolling back just slightly at the idea before his hands suddenly moved to grip the back of his boyfriend’s thighs. “Fuck it,” he growled out, annoyance clear in his voice. With that, he used his grip on his boyfriend’s thighs to tilt him back, roughly slamming his back onto the flat of his desk. From there he grabbed tight to the tops of his boyfriend’s jeans and yanked, pulling the man further down the desk with the movement. 

Price was rough with it as he pulled the other man’s shoes off, letting them fall to the ground with little care before finally, he was able to yank his boyfriend’s pants and boxers from his legs and toss them across the room where they wouldn’t cause him any more trouble. 

Price’s hands stroked carefully across his boyfriend’s naked thighs, his eyes raking across his skin hungrily. His boyfriend was flushed red from his face down to his chest that was rising and falling rapidly. Price was never one to deny himself a want, especially with the pliant man beneath him, so he didn’t resist the urge to dart down and begin trailing his tongue across the heated skin. 

He started at his neck, tracing over his previous marks with additional nips and soothing little licks from his tongue. From there he began moving down, following the flow of red with a grin on his lips as the man beneath him moaned out his name. He stopped to give a bit more attention to his nipples, his hands pinning the other’s hips to the desk as he tried to squirm against the pleasure. 

“John,” he moaned under him, his head tilted back as his hands grabbed at the other’s shoulders, trying to move him closer. His thighs felt slick from the other man’s attentions and Price hadn’t even fully touched him yet. The other man knew how to tease him just right, just enough to drive him up the wall. “Please,” he tried to rut his hips again, desperate for some sort of stimulation to his aching cunt, Price only tightened his grip, “Please, fuck, I need you.”

“Do you?” Price gave a low chuckle against his skin, his mouth finally moving away from his nipples to trace lower, slowly marking a path down toward where he wanted him most. “How do you want me, hmm?”

His boyfriend whined, throwing an arm over his eyes as Price went lower, his hands grabbing at his thighs to spread his legs. His lips moved to press kisses to his knees before beginning a slow trail down his thighs. He came close to his cunt, enough that he could feel Price’s breath on him, making his boyfriend clench down around nothing, but he didn’t connect, only pressed slow kisses to the other’s inner thighs. “Please,” he begged, “anything, anyway. However you want me, John, please!”

He could feel Price grin against his skin, “That’s what I like to hear, love.” With that, the man pulled back, his focus now completely on the sight of his boyfriend’s wet cunt. “Fuck,” he muttered. One of his hands moved down, just stroking over his boyfriend’s slit, collecting some of the wetness there to spread along his fingers. His boyfriend jerked up into the movement, an embarrassed noise leaving his throat as Price examined his fingers with a grin, “All this for me?” He gave a low chuckle, “Fucking perfect.”

With that he dived down, laving his tongue across his boyfriend’s cunt with one harsh move. Pleasure jerked through the other man’s system, his head banging back against the desk as his hand rushed down to grab tight to Price’s hair, trying to tug him closer. “John,” he called breathily, “Please, don’t tea-” A moan pulled from his throat as Price pressed fully against him, attacking his cunt with that clever tongue. 

Price’s beard rubbed deliciously against his thighs as the man gave several quick flicks of his tongue over the other’s clit, pulling sharp punched-out groans from the man beneath him. He wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriend’s thighs, preventing his legs from closing around his head as he set himself to work licking and teasing his boyfriend’s clit. 

He moved his tongue in short tight little circles, occasionally stopping to wrap his lips around the other man and give a harsh suck that had his boyfriend’s back arching up from the desk. Price used his grip on his thighs to pull him closer, wet noises filling the air as he brought one of his hands over to tease at his boyfriend’s cunt. His arm pinned the leg he wasn’t holding down as his fingers stroked lightly over the other man’s entrance, pulling desperate whines from his mouth. 

He felt completely overwhelmed with the pleasure that Price was pulling from him. With every flick of his tongue, a new pang hit him. It pooled in his gut and fogged his mind, keeping him focused on the feel of the mouth against his cunt, the fingers teasing their way inside of him, and the hand gripping tight to his thigh. He was weak against the other man, unable to do anything but take the continuous abuse to his clit.

Price teased the tip of his finger in and out of his cunt, a pleased hum leaving his lips as the man below him began to beg, desperate for something more than what he was being given. “Please, John! Fuck me, you feel so good, you’re so fucking good at this,” his words devolved into a groan as Price gave another harsh suck to his clit. 

Finally, one of Price’s fingers pressed inside of him, moving in slowly until he was pressed down to the knuckle. He kept his finger there for a moment, just letting it sit inside of his squirming boyfriend as he continued giving steady sucks against his clit. It was clear that he was enjoying the increasingly desperate sounds coming from the man below him. Luckily, he wasn’t in the mood to wait long, his own aching cock begging for him to finally take the other man.

Price curled his finger inside of him, delighting in the high-pitched moan that escaped his boyfriend as he pressed deliciously against his walls. He began to slowly fuck his finger in and out of the other man, moaning at the feeling of the other’s wetness forming a sweet slide for him. “Fuck, so desperate for me, aren’t you?” 

“Yes,” His boyfriend answered with a weak groan, “Yes, for you, John. God, please.”

Price chucked against him, his tongue dipping down to join his finger, sliding in beside the slowly moving digit so that he could lap at the slickness that formed there. He slowly began working another finger inside the other man, giving a content little sigh as he finally pushed two fingers inside.

The sensation of both Price’s finger and tongue inside of him was enough to have him bucking his hips again, trying to ride the other man’s fingers and tongue. The movement caused Price’s nose to rub against his clit, the sensation of that and the man inside of him was almost too much and he could feel his legs beginning to shake as he repeated the movement. “That’s it, baby,” Price moaned against his cunt, his fingers beginning to move quicker and twisting cruelly. 

Pleasure flowed through his body, filling his veins with warmth and slowly building higher and higher in him as Price continued his movements. His legs shook in the man’s hold and his hands in the other’s hair tightened, using his grip to pull the man closer and closer to him. Price was so good at this, his fingers making a scissoring motion inside of him, stretching him open as his tongue lapped at him with a steady pace. 

The man’s nose brushed against his clit again and he knew it wasn’t going to take much more for him to finish. “Fuck, fuck,” his voice came out in weak pants, “John, please, so close baby.” Price hummed against him, his fingers continuing their movement as he traced his mouth up to begin flicking over his clit again harshly. 

The move was quick to drive him over the edge, his hands tightening in Price’s hair as his mind seemed to fizzle out, pleasure flooding his system and attacking him in quick bursts as Price continued to flick over his clit. He could do nothing but ride the wave of pleasure that overtook him, babbling out Price’s name as he did. 

The smooth flick of pleasure quickly became too much for him, overwhelming as Price continued attacking his cunt and pushed him toward overstimulation. “John, wait, wait, wait,” he gave a choked-out moan as Price sucked on his clit again. The man didn’t seem to have any intentions of stopping, which meant that if he didn’t want to spend the rest of the night pinned to the man’s desk until he was begging him to stop, he was going to need to make a very good case for himself. “Please,” he begged, squirming in Price’s grip, “Please, John, need your cock so bad. Fuck, want you to,” he cut himself off with a moan as Price’s grip increased, “Please, need you to fuck me.” 

“Yeah?” Price gave a harsh slap to his thigh, still attacking his clit with his tongue. He was terribly hard in his pants, his own cock pressing uncomfortably against the fabric and aching with interest at his boyfriend’s words. “Want me to fill you up, sweet boy? Fuck another one out of you?”

“God, yes,” his boyfriend moaned at the thought, his body still shaking even as Price finally pulled away from him, slowly removing his fingers from his cunt and giving one last good suck to his clit before standing up fully. He watched Price with desperate eyes, his breathing heavy from the pleasure that struck him only moment’s ago. 

Price stepped away from him, quickly undoing his pants and shoving them down just enough that he could pull his cock out. He gave himself several slow strokes, tilting his head back with a pleasured sigh as he finally soothed the near-painful arousal that had been drawn from him. His boyfriend was quick to sit up from the desk and bat his hand away, replacing it with his own.

He moved slowly, twisting his wrist and giving several slow tight strokes over the other man. He bit his lip at the sight, admiring the desperate pants that began escaping Price’s mouth as he let his thumb run over the tip of the other man’s cock. He slowly moved off of the desk, fully prepared to drop to his knees in front of the other man and let him fuck his throat. 

Price didn’t let him though and, instead, he roughly grabbed his arm and turned him around, slamming him down so that his face was pressed roughly to the wood of the desk. He felt heat rush through him at how rough the other was. “John,” he gave a whine, “Please.” 

“You can suck me off later,” Price leaned down so that his chest was pressed tightly to his back and his mouth was just beside his ear, “For now, I want to fuck that tight cunt of yours. You want that, love?”

He nodded his head rapidly, wiggling his hips back to try and get closer to the man. Price gave a groan as his cock pressed tight to the curve of the other man’s ass. “Brat,” Price chided quickly. He clearly wasn’t actually mad at him as soon he was standing back to his full height, one of his hands pressed to the small of his boyfriend’s back as his other guided his cock to his cunt. 

He took his time, rutting the length of his cock against the other’s slit for several moments, the tip of his dick occasionally brushing along his boyfriend’s clit to pull a shaky gasp from his lips. After several moments he guided himself to just slip inside of his boyfriend, only allowing a small part of his cock to enter the other man. He sat there for several moments, enjoying the way that the other man squirmed and whined against him. 

Finally, after several moments, he slowly began sinking into his boyfriend’s cunt, his head falling forward with a gasp as the tight wet heat enveloped his aching cock. In no time, he bottomed out, his front pressed firmly against his partner’s ass as they moaned out for him, the flush of their face trailing down their back as well. Price traced the sight with his fingers, a pleased moan leaving his lips as he felt the other man flutter around him. 

“Move, please please please, John,” he moaned out for him, the feeling of the other man filling him up was so good, the stretch a delicious thing, but he needed more. He wanted to feel the other man fucking into him exactly like he knew he wanted to. 

Price grabbed tight to his hips, “Beg some more, love.” He gave a shallow thrust of his hips, his hands tightening at the feeling. He didn’t move again though, he had too much control for that, too much control to not get what he wanted from this situation. 

“John,” his boyfriend babbled out, his face twisted up with need, “Please fuck me!” He gave another moan as he buried his face into his hands, embarrassment running through him as he continued, “Please I need it, need to be fucked. I need you to fill me up, oh god, want to feel you cum inside me!”

Price gave something similar to a snarl at those words and, before his boyfriend could prepare himself, he was setting a rough pace, pulling back to fuck into him with harsh quick thrusts. Price tugged his hips back to meet his thrusts, hitting deeper and deeper with every move. His boyfriend could do nothing but grab tight to the desk and take what the other man was giving to him, his face pressed into the cool wood as the sound of skin slapping skin rang out around the room. 

Price moved to drape himself across his boyfriend’s back then, removing his hands from the man’s hips in favor of wrapping one around his throat. He used his grip on the other’s throat to pull his face up from the desk, turning him just enough that he could press their mouths together in a filthy kiss. His other hand connected with one of his boyfriend’s landing on top of his hand to lace their fingers together in a move that was startlingly soft in comparison to his harsh movements. 

The sounds of their moans mixed together, swallowed by the other’s lips as they enjoyed one another, wringing pleasure from the other’s body with every move. The desk rattled dangerously under the strength of Price’s thrusts, items falling to the floor with every move. Neither of them paid it any mind, too focused on the other. 

“John,” he muttered against Price’s lips, he pulled away from the other man with a gasp as Price hit that spot inside of him that had him seeing stars. He could do nothing but say the other’s name as Price readjusted and moved to hit that spot with every thrust of his hips, forcing him to clench tight around him as pleasure began building inside of him, threatening to topple over ever so quickly. Price had done a number on him earlier and it was clear that he was still feeling the aftershocks of that. 

“That’s it, love,” Price practically purred in his ear. His own voice was clearly strained, sweat slicking between their bodies from the effort, “That’s it, fuck, you take me so well.” He tilted his head back with a groan, his pace growing more frantic. It was clear that he was building to that edge, every slide of his cock inside of his boyfriend pulling a desperate gasp from him. 

“Please,” His boyfriend cried out. He was so close, he was right there on the edge, right there on the edge of too much and yet not enough. Price could tell, he knew from the way his legs were shaking and his cunt was fluttering around him deliciously. His hand around the other’s neck moved away, trailing down his body until he could press two of his fingers against his clit, rubbing tight circles against him. 

He came with a cry of the other’s name, his face falling forward against the desk as he jerked uselessly against the other man who was still pounding into him at a quick pace. He was overwhelmed in the best way possible, his mind blank and his vision whiting out around the edges as he was worked deliciously through the pleasure.

Price continued to fuck into him, his own thrusts growing more and more sloppy as the feelings of pleasure curled into his gut, warming his skin. He buried his face into his boyfriend's shoulder, mouthing at the skin there as his moans grew more and more desperate, more and more wild. With the feeling of his boyfriend still fluttering and clenching around him as overstimulation began to drive at him, it wasn’t long until Price was giving several stuttered thrusts before burying himself deep inside of the other man, spilling into his waiting cunt. 

They stayed like that for several moments, pressed against each other on the desk, cum dripping from between them to begin slipping down their thighs. Price gave several slow kisses along his boyfriend’s shoulder, one of his hands softly running up and down his thigh as the other stayed laced together with his own. “I missed you,” Price muttered into his skin, his voice soft. “I love you,” he pressed a kiss to his neck, “So much, love.” 

He hummed against the other man, his lack of sleep from the mission and their past activities making his eyes feel heavy, “Love you, missed you.” He paused for a few moments before muttering, “Fucking tired though.” 

Price gave a rumbling laugh from behind him, “I can imagine.” He pressed another quick kiss to his shoulder before slowly beginning to draw back, both of them wincing at the too-much pleasure that panged through them at the move. After a moment Price was able to pull away fully. His boyfriend stayed leaning against the desk, listening to the sounds of the other moving around behind him, likely gathering their clothes. 

Another few moments passed and he felt his eyes drooping, a haze slowly clouding his mind. That disappeared with a sudden press of something cold between his legs. He gave a hiss at the feeling, jerking away as the cold wet wipe cleaned up between his legs. “Sorry, love,” Price muttered to him. He finished in only a few moments before tossing the wipe into the small trashcan beside his desk. 

He gently grabbed at his boyfriend hauling him up from the desk and holding him against his chest for a moment. “Get dressed for me?” He kept his voice soft and punctuated his words with a kiss to the man’s cheek. “I’ll take you home, you can nap in the car.” 

“Hmm, a nap sounds wonderful,” he turned his head with a lazy grin, capturing Price’s lips in a short sweet kiss before carefully pushing away from the other man. His legs were a bit shaky and he stumbled forward. Price was quick to grab his arm, steadying him with a concerned glance. He waved him off, “I’m fine, you just fucked me a little too good.”

Price shook his head, a small smile on his face, “You’re ridiculous.” He turned to his chair, gathering up the clothes that he’d already gathered and handing them over to the man. “Get dressed, love.”

He did as he was told, slowly putting his clothes back on as Price moved around the room, picking up the things that had fallen from his desk and fully closing up the bar for the night. By the time he’d fully finished, his boyfriend was already long dressed. He’d collapsed into the man’s office chair and was dozing off when Price finally knelt in front of him, a small smile on his face as he shook his knee to wake him fully. “Time to leave?”

“Time to leave,” Price confirmed. His boyfriend gave a small playful cheer before pushing himself up from his chair. He made a point to grab his duffel as they headed to the door, though it was quickly snatched away from him by Price and slung over his shoulder instead. When he raised an eyebrow at the man, all he got in return was Price holding out his empty hand for him to take. He didn’t try to question the man any further.

He latched on to Price’s arm, leaning against the man with a satisfied smile on his face as they made their way through the empty bar and out into the cool air of the night. He felt warm and tired and, above all, an overwhelming sense of comfort. He was finally back with Price. Finally back home.

[theroseandthebeast]

Yuletide 2023 Recs, Batch Two

17 recs for Castlevania: Nocturne, The Chronicles of Riddick, Crimson Peak, Critical Role / EXU Calamity, Daisy Jones & The Six, The Devil Went Down To Georgia, Dracula, Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

The Safety of Abstaining, Courteously, Olrox/Original Male Character + Mizrak/Olrox

Love is a dangerous thing for all vampires. It makes them vulnerable. Olrox has had the misfortune of experiencing this first hand. He is not doing that again.

Strange Allies, Olrox/Mizrak + Mizrak/Richter Belmont

Mizrak can’t figure out why Richter Belmont is still alive.

Three Principles, Dame Vaako/Vaako

Society among the Necromongers is cruel and ruthless. Death is the natural order of things, and life is to be endured. This is the story of the man and woman who would become Lord and Dame Vaako. Don't forget: you keep what you kill.

Blood in the Snow, Lucille Sharpe/Thomas Sharpe

Before the house, there was the earth, and the blood.

tempter or the tempted, Asmodeus the Lord of the Nine Hells/Zerxus Ilerez

“The tempter or the tempted, who sins most?” - William Shakespeare Zerxus won't give up trying to save Asmodeus. Asmodeus won't stop trying to damn Zerxus.

You Wanna Try That Again?, Billy Dunne/Daisy Jones

There are so many lines in the sand between Daisy and Billy - boundaries they won't cross, words they won't say, urges they won't give into. Right up until they do.

The Devil Went Down to Georgia Station, Gen, The Devil & Johnny

Me, I was just about ready to play the fool myself when the Devil arrived. You see, the sector sheriff had died a little while back, and the spaceways were so infested with bandits that no law-abiding ship dared to fly. The bandits didn't come stop at Georgia Station for a drink and a fiddler either—nobody comes down here unless they've got a resupply contract, for there's only one safe route in. I was feeling my old wanderlust, what with being cooped up in one place for so long, and besides my free meals were getting smaller by the day. That's why, when the Devil came sauntering into the station's only saloon and slid into the booth across from me, bringing out her fiddle from Devil-knows-where, I listened when she made me a deal.

The Calm before the Storm, Gen, The Captain of the Demeter

The Demeter's log was not the only tale of note to be found upon the ship.

Sanguine, Gen, John Seward

John is having bad dreams. Most of all, he dreams that Quincey might not be as dead as everyone thinks he is.

Into That, Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar

Edgin returns the Helmet of Disjunction. Xenk rewards him.

Not Certainty, But Hope, Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar

In which Xenk proposes. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to need you to repeat that," Edgin said. "I have come here to ask your hand in marriage," Xenk said in that annoyingly calm voice, like dropping in on someone at their local pub and asking them to marry you was just like popping next door and asking for a cup of sugar from the neighbor, "that we might infiltrate a temple of Ilmater and discover the means by which so many happy couples have disappeared."

Deception Check, Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar

Ed had lied a lot. Did lie a lot. There was a lot of lying, was his point. But the trouble and the lying did not typically involve Xenk Yendar, and this was proving to be the problem. (or, Edgin Darvis attempts to lie and rolls a one.)

Legends & Lore, Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar

Xenk gets truth potioned and doesn't say anything interesting at all.

Ink of the Covenant, Gen, Edgin Darvis & Holga Kilgore

Holga and Edgin get drunk. Edgin gets a tattoo. Standard 8th day in Targos, really.

it's a (fake) love story, baby (just say yes), Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar

“Back up,” Edgin said. “Explain how that’s connected to me going with you to a wedding.”

Perception Check (Roll for Romance), Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar

"I bet Xenk fucks like a metronome, too. You know." Holga makes a highly suggestive, repetitive gesture. "In, out. In, out. No variation. Same exact rhythm every time. Boring." Edgin stares at her, torn between horror and fascination. "You've really thought about this, huh?" (So has he. Unfortunately.)

you'll find us in the meadowland, Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar

Xenk let himself in with a slow turn of his key in the lock. The obedient door let out not a solitary creak or groan. It had better not; he plied the thing with oil as often as he cleaned any of his gear. There was a little moonlight seeping in through the window - enough to see the shape of the man rifling through his things. He was standing at Xenk’s desk, tucked into the corner and lined by shelves stacked with holy texts. Not his most valuable, of course - he wouldn’t be so careless as to keep the most precious of his collection here - but any one of them would feed a hungry man for a few days, at least. And yet this man wasn’t hungry, and he was no ordinary thief. Xenk judged this not only by the strong slope of his shoulders and broad back and the fine weave of his coat but also by the fact that he had recently been awarded the highest honours the Lord of Neverwinter could bestow. No, Edgin could want for nothing; even he could not have spent his rewards so quickly. There was only one explanation. This was an affliction of the soul.

[911-on-abc]

the second they made buck bi i watched the whole show for the first time, took a week, finished just before the latest episode came out. this obviously means i do not know my first thing about anything, most theories and fanon storylines included. what is the most important stuff that i need to know? the more deranged and delusional the better 🌸

oh LORD buckle up anon!! but also... hi!! Welcome!!! I'm so glad that ur here and that you've enjoyed the show enough to (hopefully) stick around!!!!

Full disclosure, I've only started watching 911 since season 6, so there are years of fandom lore/drama that I'm not even aware of. I really recommend checking out blogs such as @captain-hen @gracieryder @maygrcnt who have been around here MUCH longer (I'll tag more people in the morning) & follow @911bts who keeps track of literally EVERYTHING 911.

Okay, 911blr 101 is couch theory. What is couch theory you ask? well, it all starts at the beginning of S6 when Buck's couch (or lack there of) was used as a metaphor for Buck's romantic relationships. In S5, when Taylor moved into Buck's apartment replaced Buck's couch (that he got with Ali) with her own. When Buck and Taylor broke up, she took the couch with her, leaving Buck couchless. The connection between girlfriends and couches first comes up during a conversation with Buck, Eddie, and Christopher. Buck's struggle to find the 'perfect' couch reflects Buck's struggle to find the perfect person to partner up with. At the end of the episode, Buck decides to move his armchair where the couch used to be, signifying that he is trying to become comfortable with himself outside of a relationship.

Then we get to the start of S6b. Buck's parents come to town, Buck gets struck by lightning (as one does), and his parents buy him a new couch. There is probably some metaphor there about family and blah blah blah, but that doesn't matter because the couch is uncomfortable and Buck can't sleep on it and everyone keeps bothering him, and who does Buck run to? He runs to Eddie. And then he falls asleep on Eddie's couch.

and like this is a big fucking deal. because it shows that he is comfortable with Eddie! he feels safe in Eddie's home! he is more safe and comfortable on Eddie's couch than he is on his own and Eddie welcomes him there!! and couch = romantic relationship, so falling asleep on eddie's couch = relationship with Eddie???? There is another scene in S6 where Christopher falls asleep on the couch and people are like!! we are connecting the dots! (we were not connecting the dots)

and then!!!! the Kameron gives birth on Buck's couch and the couch is ruined and then y'all never guess what happens. In one of the last scenes of s6 Buck asks his brand new love interest Natalia if she wants to go couch-shopping and everyone is like WTF???? aren't we past this?? didn't we just have this conversation about NOT buying a couch with ur gf at the beginning of this season???

uhhh this explanation was NOT supposed to get this long. okay, let's speedrun this shit. The Christmas Elf!! Very important!! OG Buddie Queen!! Buck Navy Seal AUs (ugh. he literally talked about how he was too emotional for the Seals I hate this AU so fucking much!!) everyone is fucking irrational about the lawsuit arc, just filter that shit out. eddie = gay and/or demisexual. buck = christopher's second dad. literally, everyone is bisexual. Chimney? bi. Bobby? bi. Maddie? bi. is this canon? no, except for in my heart. there is SO much that I am missing. but if u are still reading this drop ur favorite/least favorite fanon theories in the chat and drop the @'s of some good blogs to follow. OH!!! ALSO!!! do NOT trust Tim (the showrunner) that man LIES!!!

[blnk338]

hi hello i am once again (this is the first time) asking for 831 content. like i KNOW you prolly can’t tell much because of like lore and trauma and stuff but like they’re so cooooool and i have a gigantic crush on ALL OF THEM AND REAPER USED TO BE SO HAPPYYYYY. do you have any plans on possibly giving lil sprinkle hints and stuff abt them throughout the story? bc like 3 of them are still alive and well and one is like. kidnapped 🤨 soooo idk i know reaper has some deep seeded trauma like every girlboss does but idk

i also don’t know if this ask makes any sense. i’m very eepy BUT no pressure to write or add anything i’m just genuinely curious. ANYWAYS i hope your week goes well!!! and pls stop eating shrimp bc we need them to fry the rice !!!!

fun fact I was actually going to make something for them so...

//drinking mentions

"Okay, so, it's gum, but it's natural." Tahoma tried, offering Izzie the packet. It was a sweltering summer in Austin and the two of them and the rest of the 831 were waiting outside the lines of parked taxis and Ubers rumbling, hidden from the heat. "No gum is natural--"

"Yeah, but it's not like you're going to eat it!" Izzie just shook her head and leaned further into the concrete wall, sipping her water like a drunkard at noon. Each and all of them had pretty much run out of water by that point, but Okazaki and her ever-growing intelligence snuck in another bottle in her bag, aptly saying "fuck TSA." Johnny was well and done with her, sighing as he popped another piece of gum into his mouth as Rigo groaned loudly, Nadya shoving him. "If you keep moaning someone's gonna think you're having sex."

"In this weather? I'm sweating enough as is."

"I thought you liked hot," Marisha quirked, pushing her lips out as she fanned herself with the collar of her shirt. "Yeah, but this shit's dry!"

"At least California has a beach-- all Austin has is a river you can't swim in." Angel wiped her forehead, rubbing her eyes in the process. She hadn't slept on the flight and, frankly, the nearly twenty hours of travel, she was ready to hit Phil's guest bedroom's mattress and sleep for an equal amount of time.

The doors wheezed open, Rosie stepping through with seven different water bottles in her arms, the rest of her team practically leaping at the chance to take one from her. Everyone thanked the woman with all of their heart, gulping down every drop, Nadya crushing the plastic bottle like a Four Loko, sighing in relief. As if right on queue, the massive black SUV that they were so familiar with pulled up and honked loudly.

Shades pulled down, bright American smile sparkling as the window rolled down, their captain's arm out his own window, patting the roof. "You folks need a lift?"

They piled and packed in like sardines, grateful for the ever-blasting AC that he cranked up to max. "Hope I didn't leave you guys out there for too long."

"No offense, Cap, but you were forty-three minutes late." Rigo tapped his wrist, his metaphorical watch clinking (he made the noises with his mouth). "Always so exact," Phil smiled, rolling up the windows as Achebe settled herself in the front, happy to get her own special seat while the rest of her team had to sit on top of each other (though none minded all that much, they were just happy to be out of the heat). "And that was thirty-eight minutes we sat outside when we could've been inside your house, in your pool-- oh, wait, did-- Nadder, did you order already?"

"What? Dude, we just got here, why would I have ordered?"

"Because I was talking about Lolo's and I thought we were on the same page." Phil grinned over the 2015 Summer Pop that played over the radio, cranking the volume. "Can't hear you two over the sound of Calvin Harris!" The rest of Nadya's and Rigo's unharmful argument over whether or not the former could predict the Californian's hunger was muted by "How Deep Is Your Love?" as the team was driven to the not-so-humble abode of Phillip Graves.

It was everything the sweaty brigade of military idiots needed; from a pool and green, green grass in his backyard, to a three-bedroom, fully airconditioned suburb-style house. As all of the group crammed in right behind Phil, his keys jingling as he unlocked the door, he chuckled, the group pushing through as he let them inside. The first time that they'd been over, there were kids' toys, drawings of crayon figures, and dozens of stacked apple sauce packs in the pantry. By the second trip, they were gone. There was a mutual agreement not to talk about it, but Graves' team still softened their blows on him.

But as the team made their way from the front entry to the living room, they stopped. Nadya was in the back of the group, rummaging through her backpack, bumping into the back of Navarro. "Shit-- why'd you..." But as she stepped around the massive woman, she stopped too, her jaw slacking. "... Dad?"

To be continued...

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (February/17/2021)

Foolish, Ponk and HBomb get involved in some “lore,” and Bad confronts Puffy about the omelette propaganda that’s been cropping up.

---

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

HBomb94

Foolish Gamers

Ranboo

Captain Puffy

---

- Foolish speaks with Ponk and HBomb as he walks through the Nether. Ponk decides to do some lore about the Egg taking their kneecaps.

- Foolish is very *angsty* with everything going on. The rain is falling heavily on his trench coat. HBomb loves lore-ing on people.

- Foolish mentions he has no parents, as he lost them. HBomb laughs and then says that’s not funny at all. Laughter is a coping mechanism. Foolish is Bruce Wayne.

- HBomb points out that Foolish has a father. Foolish clarifies that he has an adoptive father but he’s lost his biological parent. Killing two parents with one stone -- a terrible metaphor.

- H asks if Foolish is looking for a mother. Foolish says to stay the fuck away.

- H and Ponk can be Foolish’s cool uncle and aunt. Foolish says they can come up with something better -- the Justice People. 

“Together we are Batman.”

- To be clear, Ponk says, this is now the main storyline since Tommy doesn’t stream as often. 

Ponk: “The rain makes me feel...home again.”

- Ponk and HBomb greet Foolish at the portal. 

HBomb: “Hello, son.”

Foolish: “I’m Batman.”

- They go to check out the Egg. The red reminds Foolish of the blood of his parents as they lie on the ground.

- The Egg goes “wooOOOOoooOoo” to Ponk. The Egg is speaking.

- HBomb is both of their mothers now.

- Badboyhalo joins the game. Oh no.

Bad: “How hard do you think it would be to kill all three of you?”

Foolish: “Not a chance.”

HBomb: “I don’t have a weapon or armor.”

Foolish: “I have leather!”

Ponk: “WE’RE BATMANNNN.”

- Ponk tells Bad he needs to hurry. The Egg is in peril and it’s leaking milk.

- Bad arrives at the Egg Room and sets Ponk on fire. Ponk finds the one hole in the ceiling where the rain can come through. It’s very poetic.

- Bad asks if Ponk would like to break a piece of the Egg.

- Ponk breaks a piece and it hurts him. 

- H is curious and breaks a piece himself. It hurts him too.

- They ask Bad about his lore voice.

Bad: (in Yoda impression) “Mmmm, canon is this?”

- Ponk asks Bad to tell the jukebox story.

- Bad sings the campfire song.

- Back on the surface, just outside Eret’s museum, Bad builds a makeshift campfire and tells the jukebox story.

- Foolish leaves to continue work on his summer home.

- Ranboo works on the vault.

- Puffy decides to create a L’manburg memorial at L’manhole. 

- Puffy and Bad discuss heights.

- Bad confronts Puffy about the Omelette Propaganda 

Bad: “Why would he [Danny DeVito] be anti-Egg?”

Puffy: “Because he has class and style, and an enchanted sword.”

- Puffy explains how taking any of them down would be a hate crime against Danny DeVito, lizards, polar bears named Steve, the sun, or chickens, but she definitely didn’t put them up.

- Bad points out that Puffy is IN some of them. Puffy insists that this sheep person is definitely not her, maybe a relative.

Bad: “Who is that?!”

Captain Puffy: “Smokin’ hot, don’t know her.”

- Puffy insists that it was a party of chickens with clipboards who went around putting up propaganda against eggs. (She didn’t tell them she eats chicken nuggets because that would’ve broken their hearts) They want to replace chicken eggs in people’s diets with Skeppy eggs.

- If Bad takes down these posters, he’ll offend everyone! The chickens, Technoblade, the Green Party, nutritionalists, all of them!

- Puffy says that one of the chickens, Mr. Cluckington, informed her that the chickens might have dropped something off at Bad’s house.

- Bad insists that the poster on his mansion has Puffy and Technoblade in it.

- Puffy draws a very accurate portrait of Rat in MS Paint. Bad loves it!

- Foolish boats over to them on the lawn and asks if they have 489 blue concrete. He then boats away.

- They do more art!

- Bad explains Big Daddy Island.

- Bad tells Puffy that Sapnap is his son canonically, and he found him under a rock somewhere. Puffy asks if that would make Karl his son-in-law.

Puffy: “The family tree is really sort of questionable here.”

- Puffy asks if that would mean Sapnap was an accident. Bad says he’s a “happy little accident, also known as Sapnap.”

- Puffy also asks if Bad’s son’s roommate is Dream. 

- They continue with the MS Paint art.

- Bad talks to Mr. Cluckington, a chick, as played by Puffy.

- Next a cousin drops by, Cluckers. Bad threatens his life, but Cluckers says he’ll get another cousin out.

- Feathers comes out to speak with Badboyhalo. Feathers is a big Badboyhalo fan and asks for Bad’s autograph, in a voice so high-pitched that it cuts out the Discord mic.

- Feathers asks if Bad has a Snapchat and goes on Omegle.

- Puffy comes back out and asks how it went.

Bad: “I think I’m done with chickens, Puffy...”

- Bad says he’ll go investigate who put up those posters.

- Puffy departs to continue work on the L’manburg memorial.

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[itwoodbeprefect]

decided to just compile a bunch of comments about my sga 1x01 rising rewatch into a single post because i don’t actually want to make a hundred posts in a row, so here, under the cut, many rambles:

announcer guy does, in fact, speak english upon a second attempt. well done on not forgetting to not speak german, announcer guy.

“i’m afraid of the thing” elizabeth says, about the drone chair, while standing next to it and looking like she wants to fuck it

rodney in that orange sweater! very orange! very warm!

john is on screen. john’s first words are helicopters he knows how to fly. john KINDA LIKES IT in antarctica. john has barely done anything and i already feel like crying a little bit about this guy who LIKES ANTARCTICA because he just wants to fly

POOR CARSON when he almost kills two people. “ai told ya ai was the wrong pursohn” :(

i really love how john sees the drone coming at the (landed) helicopter and yells “get out!” and they throw open their doors and john JUMPS and then it’s just “ugh.” and he’s belly-down on the floor and still like, almost under the helicopter. an attempt was made, for sure. just not a very succesful one.

the way john looks around like he’s never seen a ceiling before when he enters the base is just. very funny. and then some guy in particular is looking at him because he’s a bit of a weirdo and john looks back and the guy sort of looks him up and down and john looks away as if to check if anybody saw that. hmm.

john’s face of “oops” after he sits down in the chair and it ACTIVATES and carson RUNS OFF to go get literally everyone and john is realizing he MAY have just made a very giant big mistake. PRICELESS

teyla: my people have long believed the wraith will come if we venture into the ancient city. sumner, when the wraith come after he ventures into the ancient city: [surprised pikachu face]

gotta love how john insisting on saving his people is what wakes up the wraith, and saving his people is also what landed john in antarctica in the first place because he tried it in afghanistan once before. which wouldn’t have happened if there hadn’t been an american war in afghanistan in the first place, which there wouldn’t have been if bush hadn’t thrown the us into it, which wouldn’t have happened without 9/11, so... bin laden woke the wraith?

on the other hand john would never have had to go on a rescue mission on his first day in pegasus if sumner hadn’t gone into that city against the wishes of the people that already lived there and had a history dating back thousands of years with the place, so more realistically, the expeditions’ colonizer mentality woke the wraith. and then they just kinda... kept going with that for the rest of the show, because it worked out so well on that first day.

anyway i’m not even there yet - puddlejumper! it jumps puddles!

have to love the moment john realizes the puddlejumper is pretty literally reading his mind and giving him anything he can think of that is within its power (so no turkey sandwiches, but that’s okay). john is already in love with it just based on the fact that IT CAN FLY AND GO FAST (“i kinda like it here”, restored) but then all the ancient technology just seems to know him and love him back and gives him way more than he even thinks to ask for. which, for john, who doesn’t really do well expressing desires? a FLYING SHIP that then READS HIS MIND? starstruck. love at first sight. john&puddlejumper, instant bffs. i bet it would have popped a compartment with some stray bits of wire if he’d asked for a friendship bracelet right then and there. ford sitting there witnessing this doesn’t even know how hard he’s thirdwheeling it in that moment.

now i am at the bit where sumner is taken from the wraith prison to see the actual wraith, and look, obviously they’re evil and feed on humans etc etc, but this particular wraith’s sense of dramatics? unparalleled. she has them bring her victims one by one to a large foggy room with a looong table set with a wonderful dinner and then she LEAVES a DEAD BODY sitting at the head of the table (implied to be the athosian that was taken before sumner?) and drops down from the ceiling while sumner has his back turned for no reason except the spectacle of it all, and dracula himself literally couldn’t have made a better display out of this. it’s maybe scary in the way that it makes clear she’s a cat toying with a helpless mouse before she eats it, but it’s also hilarious in the way that this is absolutely a very bored immortal being who had to stay up while the rest went to sleep and is inventing high school improv plays with her dinner for some diversion. don’t play with your food, wraith queen. you’re scaring your dinner.

life signs detector!!! ford didn’t get to name the puddlejumpers gateships, but that one stuck, no matter how much “we can name it later” john was trying to throw at it!!!

(god. there’s a ficlet somewhere in there about season 2 john having a moment where he realizes he’s on the hunt for ford using the thing they first discovered together and that ford gave its name.)

getting sidetracked here, but when john and ford find the group of humans caught by the wraith teyla goes “major!” and it makes me think that. well. how are the athosians supposed to know things like “major” and “colonel” are military ranks? what are the chances the pegasus galaxy uses the same designations? (don’t really know how the language thing works here - we’re hopefully not supposed to think they’re all speaking english, are they? i’ve never watched sg1, there’s probably lore about this, i assume. maybe alien titles somehow get perfect translations to earth ones and vice versa.) but i mean, teyla is too smart, she’d have it figured out already even if those words don’t exist in her galaxy, but some athosian somewhere is going to be very confused by this earth tendency to name way too many kids private and lieutenant, and then put all of them into the army. strange, to have your job decided for you at birth like that. earth people are weeeeird.

fjdkl john is like bye, gonna go find colonel sumner all on my own, run if you don’t hear from me in twenty minutes, and ford’s like “you’re the only one who can fly these people out of here” and “i’m saying i should be the one to go, sir” and john, with his savior can’t-leave-anyone-behind-gotta-do-this-personally-or-i-will-literally-die-from-not-almost-dying complex DOES NOT LISTEN to ford’s EXTREMELY ACCURATE objection. which is his right, as ranking officer, but is also a perfect showcase of why john Should Not Ever be in charge of atlantis, and why sam saying he was totally on the shortlist when she takes over command in s4 is funny but frightening if you’re on atlantis and like being alive.

sumner: “we travel through the stargate as peaceful explorers.” FDJKFD. god, that line, from that character, hilarious.

rodney comes to elizabeth full of enthusiasm about all the interesting stuff they’re finding in the city only to find her staring at the empty gate and when she says she should never have let them (the rescue party) go, he sobers up and says awkwardly “for what it’s worth, you made the right decision” and that’s GOOD that’s KIND.

back on the planet with the wraith everyone is running to the jumper while there are wraith darts whizzing through the air and teyla turns back, catches up with ford who was told to cover their six, disarms him (because he was firing at illusions, revealing their position), hands him back his weapon, pulls him in the direction of the puddlejumper, and PUSHES HIM ASIDE when they’re almost scooped up by a wraith dart, and i’m so here for teyla being allowed a moment of heroics that saves specifically ford, guy with a gun, and not a random athosian damsel in distress. teyla is fully on their level. teyla is perhaps above their level. thank you.

that scene at the end of this episode!! in which there’s a sort of party on atlantis and it’s all buzzing and relaxed while the athosians are mingling freely with the expedition members and they’re talking of friendship and ugh. UGH. there’s a better version of sga in an alternate universe where the expedition didn’t decide atlantis was totally theirs, actually, and they cooperate with the people that were already in the galaxy when they came there and learn from sumner’s mistake to actually respect what they have to say and form a single front and teyla takes over as head of the expedition in s4 when there’s a void left by elizabeth’s absence.

final thought that has always haunted me a little: john suddenly becoming the ranking military member on atlantis after sumner’s death is ?? one of those things where i wonder what the sgc was thinking in their personnel assignments. john wasn’t even supposed to BE THERE. if john hadn’t gone and sumner had still died (which was something they should have considered as a possiblitiy! they didn’t know what they were walking into at all! sumner is apparently the type to lead his own missions!), then what exactly would they have done? i don’t know much about how the us military operates but i’ve watched enough mash to have figured out the order of the ranks and it just seems. very odd to me? to take one (1) colonel on this mission and then ZERO lieutenant colonels OR majors (if john hadn’t stumbled his way into it, that is). like, are there any captains on atlantis? (i think there are?) or would ford, a lieutenant, have ended up ranking military member? this is like the surely-they-only-need-a-single-medical-doctor-right thing. WHAT IS THE SGC THINKING.

anyway. this was good. i liked this. i hadn’t rewatched the pilot in a while, and i only just now figured out how much of a while, because there was a bunch in here i didn’t remember. ON TO EPISODE TWO.

[chandelier-s-notebook]

Chapter 3

Let me know if you wanna get tagged when I post new chapters in “These Streets Are Made For Walking”. @sleepysnails.

Ao3 Link

-------------------------

“Police! Everybody put your hands up!” they shouted barging into the main hall of the abandoned mall.

Heads turned and there was a brief moment of disconnect; on one side you had the fighters wondering who snitched, and on the other you had officers equipped for a potential multi-party drug deal and instead got a fighting ring operating in broad daylight.

People scattered, some ran to the exits; some hid in the rubble of the crumbling building; some were still with shock; and others were close enough to get grabbed by an officer. Out of those, a few guys fought them off, but others--such as the Dream Team--went quietly.

The Dream Team and two others were led out of the building.

“Where are you taking us?” the younger girl walking along with them asked, worry etched on her face.

“We’re just taking you to the parking lot,” the officer said. “Then you’ll be taken to the station to make a statement.”

“First time?” Dream asked, trying to make a joke.

Sapnap whacked him upside the head. “Not funny.”

“I’ve never been caught before,” the girl murmured to him, her tone significantly hardened. She quickly lightened up her voice and addressed the officer, “Will we be charged?”

“Mostly likely.”

The officer led them out to the parking lot.

Captain Craft met them at the barrier. “I’ll take them from here X33N. Jordan's just arrived to take over the scene, I’m going back to the station to get these guys processed.”

“Yes Sir.”

“We’ll send out rotating cruisers to pull in detainees as your team apprehends them.”

“Understood Sir.” The officer--X33N--left the five of them with Officer Craft.

Captain Craft’s junior partner then abruptly grabbed Dream by the shoulders and shoved him down to the car.

“Ouch!”

“You are under arrest for loitering on private property.”

“Geez, I get it! No need to be so rough. I came quietly, for goodness sake.”

“Just had to make sure you didn’t get away,” they said snidely.

“The only place I’m going, is the fucking station.” Dream let the officer pull him upright. “I’d like Captain Craft’s car if I get the choice.”

Captain Craft gave his junior partner a nod as well as a hard look. “Be gentle. Treat them with respect, otherwise things will just get worse. You respond, not instigate,” he reprimanded. Captain Craft was much gentler with Sapnap, George, the girl, and the other boy.

Dream and George rode with Captain Craft, while the other three took another car driven by the junior partner.

“Fuck,” George whispered under his breath.

“What is it?”

“Seriously?”

“Specifically,” Dream amended.

“Mother is gonna kill me.” George dropped his head forwards. “She’s been on my ass for that 92 I got in biology last week.”

“She’s still on about that?” Dream asked. “Dude it was a 92, people would kill for a 92.”

“Word choice,” Captain Craft teased from the front seat.

“Sorry,” Dream quickly said, attention never fully leaving George. “She’s too hard on you.”

“And now I’m being taken into the station.”

“George, you’re the medic. You didn’t do anything.”

“Willful ignorance,” George cried pitifully.

“Dude shut up. Anything can and will be used against you and all that.”

“Fuck. Right. Sorry.” George took a deep breath. “It would come out in questioning anyways. Fuck. Mother’s gonna read this on the news.”

“You didn’t have to come with us.”

“I need to live Dream.”

Captain Craft parked the car. He opened the door and ushered the two of them inside, the other three following close behind.

“Names?” the receptionist asked.

“Dream Taken, you?”

“F1NN,” he replied offhandedly, typing Dream’s name into the system. “No current warrants. Next.”

“George Lore.”

“Sapnap Halo”

“Hannah Rose.”

“Walli Bear.”

“Any injuries?”

All five of them stood patiently as F1NN led them through the spiel, the Dream Team bored, Hannah putting on her scared little girl front, and Walli looking genuinely panicked and muted. Dream was then taken away for solo questioning by Captain Craft first, and the rest were taken into a communal holding cell in the station.

“Dream Taken, was it?”

“Yes Sir.” Too formal.

“How are you this fine afternoon?”

“Wonderful. Going to me on my best behaviour for the few weeks I believe. I’ll try too anyway,” he bantered.

“Dream.”

“What’s on your mind Captain?” Dream leaned forward on his elbows. “Any questions for me?”

“There was this kid--your age--in the parking lot.”

Dream blinked, his joking persona dropping for a split second. “Yeah? What about it?”

“He was doing homework. Said that was his spot to get out of the house. What’s the likelihood he didn’t know what was going on?”

Dream wasn’t about to throw Techno under the bus. “Pretty high. He could have gotten there before us and not noticed everyone parking around him today. Also could be a case of thinking that this was normal and not questioning things. You know, Las Nevadas guys running around, best to keep your head low.”

“Advice you clearly stand by.”

Dream shot the officer a wide smile. “That’s my aim.”

Captain Craft scribbled something down in his notebook. “How often does that ring meet?”

“Every so often. It moves around.”

“How many locations?”

“Three? Four? Not sure.”

“Fight often?”

“When I’m told the location.”

“Where’s the next one?”

Dream wiggled his eyebrows. “Not telling.”

“Less community service hours coming your way if you ‘fess up.”

“Need that in print before I hand everyone over. Besides, I only attend when it’s at the mall.”  Dream smiled again, clearly having fun with the banter. “Am I done here? I think I’m done.”

“Nothing more to say?”

“I didn’t fight this afternoon. I only watched.”

Captain Crafted jotted it down, he flipped the page and wrote down another note before ripping it off and closing the book. “Take this to F1NN and call your guardian for pick up. Loitering on public property, and willful ignorance to assault and battery.”

Dream stood up and pushed his chair in. “Not gonna walk me there?”

“We’ve been here enough times,” Captain Craft sighed. “Best behaviour?”

“Of course.”

Captain Craft cut open Dream’s zip ties and sent him on his way.

Dream gave the note to F1NN and was given the phone in return; like clockwork these visits were. That was a bad thing wasn’t it?

After two rings Bad picked up his phone. “Hello?”

“Hi Bad, it’s Dream.”

“Tubbo just left,” he said as if he knew exactly what Dream would have wanted from him. “Techno just came by to pick him up.”

“That’s ‘cause I told him to,” Dream explained. “The three of us got picked up by the police, think you could bring us home?”

Bad could be heard moving around the apartment, and he heard the clinking of keys. “I’m on my way. Anything I need to know?”

“George and Sapnap will probably be calling you, once they’re finished with their interviews.”

Half an hour later Sapnap was sitting shotgun in his dad’s car, while Dream and George chilled in the backseat of the car. The first stop of the night was Punz’s house, so they could pick Tubbo up, before dropping Dream off at home.

Bad parked on the driveway, and Dream got out of the car. He walked up to the front and used his spare key to get in.

It’s quiet, and too early for the fourteen year olds to be asleep. Tubbo and Purpled are good friends, they had been since childhood; getting dropped off at Bad-Halo’s-Unofficial-Daycare-for-the-Siblings-of-Petty-Criminals-and-Their-(Count-‘Em)-One-Normal-Friend did that to friendships. They should have been playing around here somewhere.

Dream stalked around the house looking for clues as to where they might have gone. It was in the kitchen that he found a note.

“Purpled went out. Didn’t want to be here alone. Went to Ranboo’s.”

Dream grabbed the note and groaned in frustration, all this way for nothing? He checked his phone. Nope, Tubbo hadn’t even sent a text message. He left the house--making sure to lock the door behind him--in a huff.

Opening the car door, he slid in, exhaling loudly. “Punz wasn’t home. Purpled’s gone. Note saying Tubbo went to Ranboo’s. I’ll just bus home from your place. Think Techno left my bag with you.”

“He did. I noticed it on my way out.” Bad pulled out of Punz’s driveway. “Why don’t you stay the night?”

“I would, but you know Ranboo’s parents. If they find Tubbo there, they’ll kick him out, and I’d rather be in the apartment if he has to come back.”

Bad nodded. “I’ll drive you and George back to your places then.”

“Actually, Bad?” George interjected quietly. “Can I crash at your place? Mom’s been a lot this week already and they got our picture. Think we’re gonna be in the news again.”

Bad sighed. “You’re ruining your future. How will you get into university with those articles?”

“Good grades and scholarships,” Sapnap said.

Bad laughed. “Of course you can stay the night.”

[wizardysseus]

i was thinking about once upon a time (abc) in bed this morning so i decided to write this list

subject to change, since awhile ago i was in the middle of season 6 when they took it off netflix and i never quite got around to picking it back up. i’m gonna finish if it kills me i promise

top 5 things about once upon a time

5. anna frozen

when ouat introduced frozen characters, most fans decided the show had jumped the shark. they were not wrong. however, it was this very thing that allowed the show to be fun again! after an excruciatingly bad season 3 (we will get to that), bringing on anna and elsa literally transported directly from their own unaltered story in cheap ass versions of their unaltered movie costumes allowed the show to let loose and do... basically whatever it wanted. this became the hallmark of the show for those who stuck with it: absolutely not making sense at all, but being fun about it. post-season-three ouat becomes a totally different soap opera from season one, but by god you are never bored.*

personally, the flashback episode where anna annoys rumpelstiltskin and gets the better of him and he’s so fucking mad about it is like top 10 episodes**

4. 2x16 “the miller’s daughter”

this episode is just another personal favorite. it exemplifies what this show was really good at when it was good, and also where everything went wrong. i think cora is a great example of a good ouat villain, i think the twist on the rumpelstiltskin story is great, i think the dramatic beats really work.

...and in typical ouat fashion, cora immediately dies and two more villains we don’t care about at all are introduced. (sonequa forgive me you know i’m in love with you but tamara was nothing. it’s not your fault.) yes we get that great scene of snow aggressively doing archery practice while listening to “bad reputation” but was it worth killing off a compelling villain just as you’d dug into her story?

3. the commitment to regina’s redemption

and lana parrilla in general. i mean i’m gay and she’s hot but the worse the show got, the more acting lana gave it. and this is just speculation, but i think lana is more comfortable with drama than with camp? because regina becomes a much more interesting character as someone conflicted and on the path to redemption than as a villain. and by god, they were gonna redeem regina.

if only she had been gay we really could have had it all.

2. rumpelstiltskin

the sweet spot with rumpelstiltskin for me was seasons one and two when he was unabashedly bastard, there was an attempt to make him sympathetic but nobody except belle actually liked him, you weren’t quite sure how much he knew, he was pulling all the strings, and he was just really fucking weird. it will surprise no one who follows this blog to hear that that is my type of wizard.

1. season one

it’s a good season. it’s a good season. there are some bad things about it, but it was extremely watchable. it was doing fairy tales with occasional disney nods in a (mostly) cohesive fashion. the lore and the magic hadn’t sprawled out of control yet. it had the strongest relationship, imo, between emma and henry, and emma and snow. as for iconic episodes, most of the greats are here, plus sebastian stan as the mad hatter and giancarlo esposito as a series regular. the crowning moment for me is the scene at the end of skin deep, when regina confronts gold in the town jail and he reveals that he remembers his real name (after beating the shit out of belle’s dad with his cane obviously). god. that is some good television.

worst 5 things about once upon a time

5. the adoption politics but everyone knows this one.

4. WASTING the talent

you had the love of my life sonequa martin-green and gave her nothing. you somehow scored oded fehr as jafar and gave him nothing. you had giancarlo esposito and regina literally forgot he existed. i will kill you

3. rumpelstiltskin.

it’s no secret that robert carlyle was acting circles around most of the cast; my opinion is that the showrunners felt that if they committed to either his redemption or his villainy, they would never find someone else with the talent to fill his shoes as bastard wizard. so they flip-flopped on him every half-season, which ruins his story longterm, slowly kills the light in robert’s eyes, and gets reallllllly old. it’s also no secret that my favorite rumpelstiltskin is bastard wizard, but they screwed over belle BIG time in the process and for that i will never forgive them.

also like. the rumpelstiltskin fairy tale is antisemitic to begin with and they did not minimize that by comparing him to a lizard and naming his storybrooke counterpart mr gold. they just. did that.

2. THE FUCKING NEVERLAND ARC GOD IN CHRIIIIIIIIIIIST THAT HALF-SEASON IS EXCRUCIATING

1. captain hook

*it’s my opinion that if you are bored, you’re watching a hook-centric episode. every time i dropped the show and forgot about it for months at a time, it was because i had been in the middle of an episode about hook and just could not get through it. how do i describe all the things i don’t like about what killian hook jones did to the show? with subpoints!

1a. the episode where gold gives him back his hand and he never changes.

**this is actually the same episode i mentioned about anna and, like i said, it’s one of my favorites and not at all boring. look, i’m not pretending this list isn’t subjective as hell.

remember when hook blackmailed mr gold into magically reattaching his hand, which gold has been keeping in a jar, because hook has a date with emma and wants it to go well? but also, gold tells him that if he reattaches his hand with dark magic, it will turn him evil? and then hook spends the episode doing evil things, only for mr gold to tell him “i was just messing with you! the hand was not evil, you gave yourself permission to be evil ;)”

yeah, that’s basically hook’s mo.

1b. episode where emma tells him his brother is lying to him and he learns the exact wrong lesson from this and never changes.

so emma goes to the underworld to get hook back after he dies (while being evil and doing villainous things). they find his brother down there, too, and emma senses that he has a dark secret (because he does) and is lying to them (because he is). but hook always idolized his older brother, so he won't believe her. when emma confronts the brother directly, hook interrupts to rant to her about how he knows what this is ~really all about.

actual dialogue:

HOOK: i don't need proof to know what's really going on here. emma, when are you gonna admit that this isn't really about my brother? EMMA: what else would you think it was about? HOOK: us. you think if you can prove that liam is a villain, then i’ll somehow feel like i was less of one.

who... would EVER come to that conclusion. and why is the lesson he learns at the end “perhaps i do deserve saving after all” (another direct quote), and not “NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE EMMA WAS LITERALLY RIGHT ABOUT YOUR BROTHER LYING TO EVERYONE”????

1c. the emma dark one arc, where hook never changes.

this would be the arc that leads up to the above underworld arc, and it is deeply dumb, entertaining, and hard to explain. suffice it to say, during this whole arc, killian (along with emma) has all the powers and ~~~Darkness~~~ of the dark one (formerly rumpelstiltskin). unlike emma, he is not aware of this for most of the season. the moment he finally finds out, he turns on emma and goes through with all the revenge plans he’s apparently been holding onto since season two.

it’s supposed to be sympathetic, because emma made this choice for him to be a dark one, which is clearly awful, when he didn’t want it. so i get that. but on the other hand, it is..... boring. because (a) it's nothing we haven't seen him try to do and fail at before, his motivations really aren't that complex. and more importantly, (b) he was the dark one the whole time! the only thing that changed, that made him act evil, was finding out about it. at that point, it's not the ~~~Darkness~~~ making you do evil things. it’s just you. because you’re a dick.

how is this arc resolved? well, he dies. after the underworld arc (which i very much enjoyed tbf), a sizable part of robin hood’s death episode is devoted to people telling emma to slow down and grieve for killian, since at least two arcs have revolved around her inability to let hook go when he is literally dying or dead. (it’s been said a million times but being his girlfriend really sucked the personality out of emma and i miss her.) and in the end he just... comes back anyway. no explanation given; he says it must be a reward from zeus for killing hades... while he and emma make out literally in front of the coffin of robin hood... who actually died fighting hades. killian died half a season before. while he was evil. and emma reverts to tearful girlfriend.

it’s insulting. it’s grating. and it is a Killian Hook Jones Guarantee that his episodes will involve some measure of this.

like, is it more or less the same shtick that the writers kept giving rumpelstiltskin, too? backsliding and screwing over his love interest who gets less and less say in the matter? yes. definitely. the crucial difference is that i, personally, love rumpelstiltskin, while i find hook boring and not self-aware. but clearly i have had a lot of fun complaining about him! again, this is not an objective list.

conclusions

this show ran for 7 years. it got cancelled not because it deserved to, but because no one liked the soft reboot. it was on until 2018.

[deans-haunted-baby]

Curious. What do you mean by Dust till Dawn going against it's Characters? I know I have my own feelings, or confusion, with how they left Kate's story.

From Dusk Till Dawn effectively character assassinated every single character in the very last episode including Kate Fuller. No one is acting like themselves in that series finale it's like some deranged fanfic writer came aboard and hijacked the show while no one was looking. If you thought 15x18 & 15x19 of Supernatural were bad and believe me they really are; those episodes are minorly salvageable against the slaughterhouse that Dusk 3x10 was. It utterly contradicts and ignores everything the show put forward in all 3 seasons. I will never watch that episode again.

I'll first explain what that piece of shit did to the show's lead protagonists, the Gecko brothers. Regardless of how you or anyone else feels about Supernatural's series finale; that show was a saint to Sam and Dean's storyline beginning to end compared to how From Dusk Till Dawn definitively butchered Richie and Seth. I'm sad saying this because Zane Holtz and DJ Controna are outstanding as these characters. I freaking love their chemistry man, it's a great rival to J2! They're the badass dark clones of the Winchesters.  Their arc starts out fascinatingly complex because they went from cold-blooded criminals/bad guys and meanwhile during their escape over the Mexican border with this hostage family the audience is told pretty quick by Professor Aiden Tanner that the Geckos are destined to become these foresworn warriors The Mayan Hero Twins in an ancient prophecy (based on real Mesoamerican lore) who battle the Underworld. So right away the show is telling us ahead where Seth and Richie are suppose to end up in their journey and when you introduce a storyline this big I expect a satisfying payoff.

At the end of season 1, Richie Gecko is *SPOILER ALERT* transformed into a culebra (snake-vampire) while Seth Gecko remains human symbolizing their night and day Hero Twin counterparts from the legend. And they're separated in the first half of season 2 where both try to navigate this new supernatural world they've stumbled on individually. What they find, no different than the Winchesters, is that neither can function properly without the other making their destiny all the more valid. That season is practically constructed like their swan song to the criminal lifestyle since the brothers are meant to become more than crooks; and since Richie's a vampire they can't ever go back to basics. Their adopted father aka uncle Eddie actually says the line "this is my swan song" in 2x07 to Seth and Richie in reference to their final heist together which is not a coincidence. That's the writers telling us that the Gecko Brothers' role in the show is going to shift from anti-heroes to heroes very soon. Eddie and Kate Fuller's fates in S2 act as the primary catalysts for this transition taking shape in the finale.

Going into season 3 it's business as usual for the boys until the prophecy of the twins officially rips a hole in the damn universe via demon queen Amaru. Who's now possessing Kate. Throughout that season Seth and Richie embark on a journey of heroism; find themselves battling monsters, actually saving civilians and dealing with their own personal demons (guilt and remorse over past sins). That year is presented as their redemption arc and final phase into their new role. No one ever tells them about their destiny (despite most of the other characters knowing) but we as the audience are already aware as we watch the brothers in action. The best episode is without a doubt 3x06 the crown jewel of From Dusk Till Dawn because it's about overcoming the darkness inside. And who best represents that than Richie; the show's most important central character whom began the series as a deadly clairvoyant criminal into the tortured vampire hero struggling with his own humanity. Now I won't spoil the whole episode for anyone who hasn't seen it or the show in general but it's an incredible moment of character development for both the Gecko brothers. Not only does it cement their powerful bond it's the episode that defines who these two are once and for all. The ones who lead the battle between good and evil; keep the balance of light and darkness. One day I plan to do an entire analysis of that episode because it's so fucking brilliant and shot so incredibly eerie at the same time 😁

You want to know what 3x10 does to these characters? It shits all over their entire storyline and pisses away THREE FUCKING SEASONS of character development. Just flushes it all down the toilet rendering everything they've ever done up to that point completely pointless! Their destiny which is the WHOLE POINT OF THE SHOW is suddenly dropped last minute and the Geckos hit reset on their former criminal escapades; dragging Kate along with them. I hate that finale with the fire of a thousand suns for what it does to Richie and Seth 😡

Moving on to Carlos Madrigal. He is the best villain character in the history of show villains hands down. I can actually say that without blinking. Wilmer Valderama is phenomenal, he steals the show as Carlos. He's is so freaking awesome, evil and badass! I just want to keep seeing this man tear things apart while being the sexy asshole he is 😈For all intents and purposes I don't want to spoil his whole storyline on the show for those following me in case they're interested. But what I will say is 3x10 destroys this character; so don't watch it if you want to keep the memory of who he was alive. I'm actually depressed over what was done to him as much as I feel sorry for Wilmer having to perform that shitty script. It's laughable in a very bad way. Gotta hand it to the writers and showrunners of FDTD they certainly knew how to humiliate their best characters in this series. Carlos basically goes from charismatic yet lethal Hannibal Lecter to a very captain obvious Gandolf caricature. Yah you heard that right, it's really fucking sad.

Next we have Freddie Gonzalez; the audience's avatar into the series. This character is connected to everyone on the show for a reason because of the crucial part he plays in this universe. The "Peacekeeper" destined to police the line between the supernatural world from the human world. In the beginning he's a Texas deputy on a quest to avenge the murder of his father figure/partner Earl McGraw via the Gecko Brothers. But once he steps in that territory of monsters there's no going back. And FDTD repeatedly tells him and the audience this in the first 2 seasons. But then 3x10 pulls the ultimate fuckery by giving him the most cliched, nonsensical hallmark ending effectively cancelling out his entire purpose in the series. He instantly forgets that he ever cared about Kate, watching her bleed out on the ground, then leaves the Geckos high and dry rushing his family (who isn't injured) to the hospital. And he stays there while the battle continues 😣

Kate and Scott Fuller OMG words cannot describe my anger over what was done to them so I'll make it fast. I'll begin with Kate the bright light and heart of the series. Her arc in the first two seasons is excellent. It's emotionally driven because she begins as an ordinary girl in broken yet seemingly-happy family to a young woman finding her way around the supernatural world maintaining her faith and moral compos while trying to help her brother after he's *SPOILER ALERT* been turned into a vampire; paralleling the Geckos's situation. Scott being only a 16 year old kid, like Richie, struggles immensely after his transformation; searching for meaning as a cursed individual and coping with his duality. He was already different to begin with so being a vampire adds some interesting layers to his character.

Btw Kate plays a vital role in Richie and Seth's lives, though in my opinion is more strongly connected to Richie. The show even goes as far as developing the early glimpses of a romantic arc between Kate and Richie (seeing as they kiss twice) with angst at the end of season 2 that is never resolved. You want to know why it wasn't? Not only does season 3 mute Kate's voice and agency but 3x10 ruins her character and demolishes her whole arc with Richie (who spent all of season 3 trying to save her) at the last second due to fan pressure of those who shipped her with Seth. They don't exchange one word nor barely look at one another it's like seasons 1&2 never happened. This is the biggest fuck you to fans of these characters I've ever witnessed in a series and they did my boys Adam and Michael so dirty in Supernatural. Poor Scott whom the show enjoyed kicking around all season barely gets a thing to do in that series finale either than listening to his sister and Seth gab about prom lol. Yah you heard me I'm not making this shit up I swear. Then he gets abandoned by Kate while she goes off to be a bank robber with the character assassinated versions of Seth and Richie. How extraordinary 😖

Santanico Pandemonium is really the only character in the series who manages to get out unscathed. HOWEVER her arc is handled very poorly beginning to end. They set up an arc between her and Seth that also goes absolutely nowhere. Give her zero closure with Richie whom she sired, dated and used in S2. And randomly throw her in a scene with Kate that makes no fucking sense after these two had nothing to do with one another all series. On top of that Santanico is barely in season 3 so by the time the show wraps her arc feels incomplete.

Other characters go missing that no one notices, the new bad guy whom they've set up at the end is just left hanging. And Richie Gecko, you know the show’s other lead, is horribly sidelined after 3x06 to make way for the Seth Gecko solo show. When I say FDTD series finale is bad I mean it's really fucking terrible and blasphemous.

[5lazarus]

Lore and the Prophets

Written for the Boldly Go Gift Exchange (go check it out, everyone’s wonderful!), and crossposted to AO3 here. Lore thinks he can sneak off Deep Space Nine and get through the wormhole without anyone noticing. The Prophets have other ideas. special thanks to @saathiray for helping me work out the plot and @planesofduality for cheering me on!

Lore is tasting Romulan ale at Quark’s bar, using Data’s credits. His brother comes in useful occasionally, though rarely. Around him buzzes a party. Apparently the station’s constabulary is celebrating all its new recruits. Lore is disinterested. Dr. Soong had programmed him with an appreciation of the finer tastes of life, and the way Romulan ale interacts with his organic mesh is pleasing to him. When he is disguised like Data he likes to think like him--not, of course, because he particularly admires the logical turns of his android mind, or because he misses feeling close to him. It’s method acting, as the Earth actors of the 21st century would claim. He swirls the bright blue beer in the snifter, enjoying the sensation of falling into an electric cloud, and ignores the chatter around him. A vedek slides down next to him and signals to Quark to bring him his usual. His robes and hat are arranged to hide his face. Lore is slightly curious, but not enough to move to another table. He will leave soon--the freighter meant for the Bajoran colony on the other side of the wormhole is set to depart in two hours, with him and his grand plans with it. Dr. Soong might think his brother his greatest creation, but what Lore will wreak will be the best yet. Then a man says, “Commander Data! It’s good to see you.” He curls his fingers around Lore’s shoulder and Lore turns mechanically to regard him, cursing to himself. He fixes his face in Data’s blank stare. “Yes,” he says. He does not recognize the man in the Starfleet doctor’s uniform, but clearly Data would. The doctor smiles warmly. “Oh, Romulan ale,” he says. He slides onto the stool next him. “I suppose you’re running some sort of experiment.” He looks at him expectantly, still inanely grinning, and Lore rapidly thinks of an excuse. The doctor keeps staring at his feet. Why the fuck is he staring at his feet? He opens his mind and suddenly the circuits of his perfect positronic brain fizzled, and panicked at the malfunction Lore tries to get up as the Ferengi bartender says in an echoing voice, THE MACHINE. The doctor, slackjawed, says, THE MACHINE HAS ANSWERED THE CALL. Lore starts in horror as the words echo in his  mind and almost falls off his perch. The Bajoran security officer behind him is suddenly in front of him, and he blinks, because Romulan ale is hypnotic, not hallucinogenic, this should not be happening, not when he set his organic processing system to separate out the suggestic effect-- THE MACHINE WILL KNOW, the Bajoran security officer intones. FOR THE SISKO THE MACHINE WILL KNOW. BAJOR IS OF THE PROPHETS, the Ferengi says: Quark. THE MACHINE WILL KNOW. The doctor says, THE MACHINE WILL KEEP BAJOR FOR THE PROPHETS. Lore says, “What the fuck is this?” His brain buzzes, he seizes again, and his vision goes dark as his body prioritizes life support over data processing systems.

Lore wakes up to the doctor and several security officers hovering over him anxiously, prone on the sticky floor of Quark’s bar, with the changeling constable barking orders to evacuate the place. He grabs the doctor. “What’s happening?” “There’s been a murder,” he says. “You’ve been poisoned too--Lore.” Lore spasms hard and collapses again to the ground, his eyes filling with a bright white light. When he wakes up, he is splayed on a biobed, despite his obvious synthetic parts. He tries to move, but finds himself stuck in a containment field: just his luck. His eyes swivel over to the controllers, where that doctor and a Trill regard him cautiously. The Trill straddles a chair, leaning on the headrest. Lore knows far too much of human biology and understands she would be considered quite attractive. The lankiness of the doctor is more his type, however, more easily manipulated, and while she looks at him warily the doctor has open curiosity on his face. Lore can use that. “Lore, I presume,” the doctor says. “Data’s...brother.” Lore twitches in annoyance. He was the better creation, he suffered more, he survived more--why does he always have to be defined by Data? They are nothing alike. They share the same neuro-synthetic make-up. That is it. “Dr. Soong’s murderer,” the Trill adds solemnly. She places her hand on the phaser at her belt. The doctor looks at her curiously. “An old drinking buddy of Curzon’s.” Lore sniffs. His father spent more time running about the galaxy than with him, and perhaps he wouldn’t have ended up so broken--perfect, he corrects himself, determined and justified and perfect--if Dr. Soong had bothered to stay with him, rather than plugging him into the computer. “Dax,” Lore says. “Can’t say he ever mentioned you.” He is lying, of course, but that’s his right. “And I’m Bashir,” the doctor says. “Dr. Julian Bashir.” Dax rolls her eyes at him, a private joke. Lore feels a flash of envy. He wants to know everything, even the private things. Dax touches her combage while Bashir continues, “You gave us quite a surprise, Lore. We’d been given an alert that you might be heading to the Gamma Quadrant, but we didn’t think you’d show up at Quark’s bar! The Romulan ale--how did it interact with your positronic brain? I don’t think that’s what caused you to black out, but--” “Do you mind?” Lore interrupts. “Are you arresting me or experimenting on me?” He tests the biobed’s confinements again. Dax points her phaser at him. Lore chuckles. “Really, Dax? May I call you Dax? What can I even do to you from here?” The door to the medbay opens and the goo constable and station captain walk in, phasers drawn: Odo, and Cpt. Benjamin Sisko, according to the database he hacked before piloting to the station. “Well, well,” Odo says, “a fugitive. And one who crashed a party of cops, while drinking illegally-imported ale. You can’t make this up.” Lore is a bit embarrassed. “It’s only illegal to Starfleet personnel,” he snarks. “And I am not my brother.” Odo snorts in response. Sisko eyes him, amused, then turns to Lore. “When you were...incapacitated,” he doesn’t want to use the word unconscious for a machine, “you muttered something about a vision. Explain.” “Oh,” Lore says, “we’ve decided on a genre. So now this is an interrogation, not an experiment.” “We can still vivisect you,” Odo says. “No, we can’t,” Bashir says testily. Sisko raises his hands slightly, to quiet them all down. They all look at him. Dax has not dropped her phaser, not once. Lore decides it’s in his best interests to cooperate. “If you must know,” he says, “I don’t know what happened either. I was just biding my time til I could head through the wormhole, where my vision went--blurry, and everyone started speaking as if they were..echoing within the circuits of my mind. They called me the ‘Machine’--they said I will know that Bajor is the Prophets--your wormhole aliens, aren’t they?” Sisko blinks slowly like a snake, taking him in. Lore keeps his gaze steady. He feels if he makes any sudden movements, Sisko will strike, precise and deadly. He is even more carefully controlled than Picard, and smoother. Lore can’t help but admire it. Then Sisko blinks. He stares into the distance, and suddenly shakes his head and refocuses. “Fascinating,” Sisko purrs. “A vedek is murdered while the Prophets tell you to keep Bajor theirs. A likely story. A likeable one.” “Noonian was always a charmer,” Dax says. “Well, he knew how to get you off his back.” Is that a hint of bitterness Lore detects? History he will never know: Dr. Soong burned his diaries when he realized Lore knew his code. “Since you claim the Prophets want to use you,” Sisko says, “let us see what use the Prophets have for you. Odo, Bashir--let him out of his clamps. You may investigate the vedek’s murder. Chief O’Brien has programmed the station’s database to keep you well restrained within its borders. Odo, Dr. Bashir--I want you two to use him. Find what poison they used, cross-reference whatever Starfleet database Lore has compiled--and find who did it.” “And then what?” Lore asks. Sisko smiles. “And then,” he says, “the Prophets will know what to do to you.”

They release him from his clamps but keep the containment field but in the medbay. Dax and Sisko leave, Dax never letting her back be exposed, and Bashir clears his throat when the door clicks shut. He begins to explain the poison--a distillation of expired moba fruit cut with smoke, a popular amphetamine amongst the former Bajoran resistance. Odo nods along thoughtfully but Lore is bored. It is clear this has to do with some petty regional squabble. One faction wanted another out, and Bajor’s resident would-be gods decided to intervene. It is odd that they have made him their tool, but Lore cannot blame them. He is brilliant, after all, and has a good reputation amongst the more eldritch species of the galaxy. The Q Continuum and the Crystalline Entity gave him rave reviews. When Bashir is finally done, Lore speaks before Odo can reform vocal cords. “So. What priesthood and caste is he? Have you done your report?” He raises an eyebrow at Odo. “No, of course not. Well, plug me in. Give me his name and twelve seconds and I can tell you everything about him, including what he ate for dinner last night.” Bashir looks at him wryly, rapping his PADD with knuckles. “Simple fare--he is part of the late Vedek Bareil’s order. Rice and a touch of salt. The drink was a surprise.” Lore is confused. He doesn’t know what he is talking about. Odo crosses his arms and smiles thinly. “ Also Romulan ale, which a simple vedek could not afford, let along drink in public. A vintage Quark was told to lay aside, by a certain Tahna Los a few years ago.” Lore is irritated. “If you’re going to withhold information, I’m going to complain to the captain. He wants me here for a reason. You may as well use my processing capabilities, or be done with me now, and hand me over to Starfleet.” Bashir and Odo exchange a glance, and Odo scoffs. “Believe me,” he says, “there is nothing I would like more. But the captain is as good as his word. We are going to see what the wormhole aliens want with you. And then we’ll hand you over to Starfleet.” “So glad I’ve excited such intellectual curiosity in you,” Lore snorts. “Put please--give me the information and let’s be done with it. I don’t like being used, you know. I want to know what they’re doing with me as much as you do.” Odo regards him. “Hm. You do know Captain Sisko drove the Q Continuum off the station, right? We don’t...tolerate horrors coming out of space at Deep Space Nine. And every starbase has been outfitted with the graviton resonance to shatter one of those crystal creatures.” “Right,” Lore says. “Because there’s only room for one ‘horror out of space’ on this station.” Bashir coughs a laugh into his hand, and coughs harder at the look Odo gives him. Proverbial dick-measuring done, the three set to work. Odo accesses the constabulary's databases from Bashir’s desk, and after carefully adjusting the security parameters, allows Lore to begin analysis of his files regarding Tahna Los, the unfortunate vedek, Bareil’s order, and Bajoran religious factionalism. Lore could easily hack into the rest of the databases, and he zips the files and stores them to chew over when he’s finally out of the Alpha Quadrant. He blinks rapidly as he realizes that this vedek and Tahna Los share an arrest record. Both were taken into custody by Cardassian nine years ago, with two people who work with station security. He says aloud, for the fleshier folk in the room, “Kira Nerys, Tahna Los, our unfortunate vedek, and one of your very own officers were arrested together, Constable. Perhaps you should screen your recruits more thoroughly.” He mimics Data in his deadpan delivery. Odo is unamused. Everyone’s a critic. “That doesn’t mean anything,” Odo says. “Kira shares an arrest record with half of Bajor. And most of my officers were...detained by Cardassians, at one time or another.” He looks a little uncomfortable. Collaboration always is--he arrested a few of them. Lore smiles slowly. He has learned many useful things from these files, more than the constable will ever know. “So let’s talk to Kira,” Bashir says eagerly.

They ping Kira, and Lore has to admit he’s curious as to what she’s going to say. She is fascinating. It takes a certain kind of person to go from terrorism to Starfleet-adjacent bureaucracy, and Lore wants to know exactly what that is. He knows he could do it, he has taken his survival matrix and run with it, and of course that is why the Prophets chose him for whatever little mission they have. It’s flattering to be in the center of the storm. It is exactly what he deserves, and he is curious to see what this kindred spirit is like. Major Kira glances at him curiously but without the hostility that characterized Dax or the interest Bashir showed. She looks tired. The vedek must’ve been a friend of hers, or at least a comrade. Lore doesn’t understand that relationship, nothing he has read or experienced has explained friendship beyond desire, but he knows she must feel upset. If only he cared. “Yes?” Kira says guardedly. “You called?” She glances at the body on the table, bites her lip, and looks away. “You don’t think it was the Cardassians, do you? I need an answer to give the provisional government. And if Bareil’s order, of all things, has been infiltrated, we need to start preparing. I’ve lost enough of my comrades to them.” Odo and Bashir exchange a glance, concerned. Lore, again, does not care--but he registers this is a vulnerability he can exploit. Bashir says slowly, “He was poisoned, Major. With a drink that Tahna Los sent him. And the only connection he has to Tahna Los is--well, you.” Kira regards the body. “The Kohn-Ma has long been disbanded. And Tahna Los is held at a monastery in the Rakantha monastery, being rehabilitated for civilian life. He wouldn’t have had access to even a data PADD. It’s the Shakaar cell who guards them, and they’re no friend to the Kohn-Ma. Not anymore.” “You’ve said that before,” Odo says. “And you were wrong.” “Are you accusing me of lying?” “No. Just that your sources might be.” Kira glares at the constable, and Bashir makes a face at Lore. Lore raises an eyebrow. Bashir hides a smile. “Gentlemen,” Bashir interrupts. He gestures at the body. “If we may get back to the matter at hand.” “Sometime before it finishes decomposing,” Lore drawls. Bashir’s mouth twitches into a smile. “Quite. Now, we know the Prophets are worried about a threat to their connection to Bajor--the wormhole, presumably, we’ve been through this before. We have a dead body, killed by a drink sent by a known member of the Kohn-Ma--separatists. And we know this man was not , but a member of the late Vedek Bareil’s secularist order. Now, I’ll willing to bank on the hunch that Tahna Los was framed--but the question is, does this represent a Kohn-Ma resurgence? Who killed him, and why?” Lore says, “Two of your new recruits were arrested with Tahna Los and this...unfortunate.” He regards the corpse with some distaste. At least he will never truly die. Odo straightens abruptly. “I vetted those men myself--” and then the station shakes, and while Lore simply adjusts the mechanical gravitational sense of his body, the fleshier ones stumble. Odo’s combadge chimes. He presses it. Lore cocks his head, curious. Does he pin it to his flesh? Does a changeling have flesh? Can he feel? Sisko’s voice rings out. “Constable, you’d better get to Ops. Bring Lore. A bomb went off in my office.”

In Sisko’s office, one of Odo’s new recruits is running a tricorder over the explosive powder left over from the bomb. Papers are strewn everywhere, and the desk is in splinters. Sisko turns from the window as the wormhole opens and frowns when he sees them, palming a baseball. Lore quickly analyzes the new recruit’s face: it’s one of them that was arrested with the homicide victim and Tahna Los himself. He smiles quietly to himself. Their security is truly incompetent, if they let any old Bajoran resistance fighter in. It’s embarrassing they caught him at all. Then again, it’s hard to disguise himself when he has his brother’s face. He scowls to himself, annoyed. He came first: when his brother took his face. Sisko nods at Odo, who quietly sets a containment field behind him. Lore realizes they know. Perhaps they are cleverer than they look. Even a stopped clock hits on something right twice a day--something Dr. Soong would tell him. Sisko says, “Report.” Odo cannot hide his own smugness. “We have reason to believe,” he says stiffly. Lore quirks his head. Fascinating how even a shapeshifter cannot keep his emotions from working its way to his face: expression truly is a learned behavior, Lore thinks. Odo continues, “We have reason to believe that we have been infiltrated by rogue members of the Kohn-Ma sect, who are striking against resistance fighters who have taken a more moderate position since Bajor’s liberation.” Behind Odo, Bashir puts his hand on his phaser. Lore is amused to see that it is set to stun. The recruit stiffens, but continues to analyze the bomb sample. His hands are shaking. “Really?” Sisko says. “A threat that concerns even the Prophets, who don’t want their connection to Bajor severed. I suppose that makes sense. Recruit, do you have anything to say?” The recruit turns slowly. “Is there any point?” he says. “When even the Prophets are against you.” Sisko says gently, “Not against you. For Bajor. By any means necessary.” He looks at Lore. “Even using a machine.” Sisko nods at Odo, who puts his hand on the recruit’s shoulder and helps him up. He leads him from Sisko’s office and into the turbolift, solemn-faced. “What will happen to him?” Bashir asks. Sisko sighs. “He killed a vedek. You’re better off asking the Major about the limits of Bajoran jurisprudence when it comes to old comrades. But doubtless he will not be getting the same treatment as Tahna Los. And we will need to monitor where he is sent, to make sure the monastery is not being used as a hotbed of radicalization.” Bashir frowns. Sisko turns to Lore. “And now for you, our resident fugitive.” He smiles thinly, and Lore steps back. The containment field is still up. He realizes he’s been tricked--it was not just for the bomber, but for him as well. With newfound respect, he gazes steadily at Sisko. This team is nothing like Data’s crew. They are much, much trickier. “Oh, I hope I won’t be staying long enough to be a resident ,” Lore says, trying to play it cool. “There’s a whole galaxy to see, on the other side of the wormhole. And, well, the Prophets have taken an interest in me. Why don’t you toss me at the Dominion and see what happens?” Sisko is unamused but Bashir snorts. “No,” Sisko says, “I think not. You see, I was sent a top-secret message by Starfleet Command an hour ago--alpha alpha black gamma clearance. A certain secretive department wants you, Lore.” “Section 31,” Bashir says out loud. Lore is unmoved. He has never heard of them. Sisko continues, “And I don’t want them to have you. If you’re so despicable to make an alliance with the Borg,” his eyes flash, and Lore is chilled, “then I don’t want to see what Section 31 will twist you into. I believe in the Federation.” Those words sound hollow, even to Lore. “I believe in Bajor, and I trust the Prophets. I’m sending you through the wormhole, Lore. For the Federation’s good and the good of Bajor. Right to the colonies on New Bajor, where the electromagnetic net in the atmosphere is set to make androids such as yourself move a bit more slowly. And certainly too slowly to be successful in any escape attempt. May this time in contemplation be good for you, Lore. And better than the Borg.” He smiles grimly, and turns away from them to regard the wormhole once more. “Dismissed.”

Lore is terrified. Bashir stings him with a hypospray that makes his movement malleable and leads him into the turbolift and towards the docks. He tries to work his mouth, but nothing comes out. Bashir himself is stony-faced. He doesn’t approve, but he follows orders. Lore curses himself, he should have realized that Captain Sisko of all people is not to be trifled with, the man lost his wife to the Borg, of course he wouldn’t be able to work out a deal. He’s heard so many stories of people who have managed to bargain with the station’s crew, he thought that he out of all people would be able to come up with a deal. The turbolift stops and the doors chime open, and Bashir pushes him forward gently, hand at his neck, another prodding a phaser into his back. Lore wonders if it is set to kill. He stammers, “D-don’t--” as they march to the runabout. Bashir opens the door and regards him sadly. “You are magnificent, do you know that?” he says. “A truly human android. Even more than your brother. Fully flawed, emotive, angry. So you deserve a chance.” He walks him into the cabin and straps him into the pilot’s chair of the runabout. “I hope you take this one. It’ll be the last you get, but who’s to say it’s better than you deserve?” Bashir turns the runabout on and activates the autopilot. “Good luck, Lore. And godspeed. I hope you find what you need on New Bajor. Slowing down a fast-paced mind--” He exhales sharply. “Well.” He smiles. “I was genetically augmented, you know. Using a procedure based on Dr. Soong’s experiments. So I think I understand a bit how your mind works, and how it can go--not wrong, but how it is hard. Perhaps this will be good for you.” He pats him on the shoulder. “It’s better than Section 31, at least. Good luck.” The runabout leaves and Lore is left in the lurch as the stars spin away and the wormhole opens to swallow him, leaving the Alpha Quadrant far behind, and he cannot move as his mind slows in the odd electric silence. He wishes, he wishes, he wishes--and then time slows and he can only contemplate as a spectre taking the shape of his father looks at him and says, THE MACHINE IS OF BAJOR. THE MACHINE KNOWS.

[deus-and-the-machina]

My thoughts on each Dream SMP character (sometimes thoughts on the cc leak in) in a few sentences. Like 5 people who follow me will be interested in this. I might update as my thoughts on the characters change.

Tommy: Like he says, I was indeed annoyed by him at first (mostly because he was loud) but his sense of humor has grown on me greatly. Needs a break. Overly demonized by the fandom

Techno: One half of my brain wants to argue critically about Techno and his methods, the other half just goes “haha funny pig man”. He always gets some of the coolest and most unique designs.

Tubbo: A chaos child hiding underneath the veil of a sweet innocent that he’s not even trying to keep up anymore. I support all of his actions at this point. He built some nukes? Nice. Built a hotel? You do you.

Wilbur: I started watching the SMP through Wilbur’s edited videos so it’s no surprise he was my favorite for season 1. I mostly just feel bad for him, but he’s still kind of a shit. He dug his own grave ever since the election. 

Dream: Piece of shit abusive asshole. The only character the evokes anger from me. cc!Dream is a cool guy though and scarily good at acting this out.

Philza: I’m so sick of the discourse around who’s dad he is. I don’t care, he’s an asshole either way. I would die for cc!Phil though so write that down.

Schlatt: Struck a good balance between funny and genuinely threatening. Sick of people trying to pretend he was a good guy actually just because he did one or two good things for L’manburg’s economy and because Wilbur was also pretty shit.

Unpopular opinion I guess but I don’t really want him to come back. He had a good run and reviving both dead characters would just make death feel meaningless.

Quackity: Very excited for his lore. One of the smartest characters imo and we were robbed of a Quackity + Techno confrontation at Doomsday.

Eret: Fairly neutral. I feel like he’s been stuck on “I want to make it up to the people I betrayed” and “I feel like I can’t do anything as king” ever since season 1, and his plot with Fundy never went anywhere. I can only hope he’ll be involved with Wilbur’s resurrection. I think it’s hilarious he’s taxing the entire server now. 

Fundy: Extremely neutral. For someone who wants to step out of his father’s shadow his character sure does revolve around his daddy issues, huh? He’s a good actor but his lore was fucked from the start for me. I will never sympathize with having daddy issues over a British e-boy and that’s that.

(I say this then proceed to feature him in all my fics so far)

Niki: Please get some therapy. Please. Cool motive, still murder. If she doesn’t cuss someone out in German during her villain arc than what’s the point?

Jack Manifold. His arc is fun, but so painful in conjunction with Tommy’s. I love that he uses Professor Layton music. Also cool motive, still murder. Currently at the Megamind phase of his arc.

Ranboo: my beloved. He’s grown on me a lot ever since the Tubbo shenanigans started and his reaction to Tommy’s death. I really appreciate characters who are introspective even if they don’t get everything right, and I really like that he’s very upfront about what he thinks. 

Awesamdude: Has a lot going for him lore wise. I don’t think I latched onto him as a father figure for Tommy as much as the rest of the fandom did (double this as of recent events). It’s funny that our standards have dropped so low that someone just has to be a decent person to Tommy though.

Ghostbur: Deserved better. While he’s a different entity from Wilbur, I still consider them the same person fundamentally. Ghostbur couldn’t have come from nowhere after all. Everyone ignores how fucked Doomsday was for him.

Karl Jacobs: Tales From The SMP is really cool and I love how he takes feedback and makes each one better than the next. His time traveler lore has mostly been shown to us through book entries so I’m gonna have to see him act it out to be more invested though.

Sapnap: Arson pog. I love how he’s really stepped up to roleplay recently. That scene with Dream in the prison? Great.

Ponk: Has some neat underrated lore with the village from the first Tales episode. The OG capitalist on the server before everyone having all these capitalist arcs.

Captain Puffy: I love that she’s just trying to be a decent person. Like not even as a mother figure or anything, she’s just looking out for people. I love her involvement in the egg plot and I really want a reunion between her and Niki soon.

Badboyhalo: Go OFF you funky egg man! I never thought such a wholesome person would make such a good villain. He’s also just a really supportive person in the community as well.

Foolish: Local cryptid. Hasn’t really done anything lore wise but I get the strong sense he will eventually. 

George: Is he even a character? I heard he doesn’t want to be involved with the lore. Eh, sleep jokes funny.

Skeppy: Not even really in the lore but simultaneously really important. That’s the kind of power he wields.

Purpled: The four minors on this server are diagnosed with trauma, trauma, trauma, and capitalist. Get that coin, Purpled Bedwars.

Punz: Had a banger of a line in the finale. Nice that we have more people in the Eggpire, and I really like the headcanon that he and Purpled are mercenary brothers. 

Antfrost: Seems chill, but he’s kind of just Bad’s sidekick at this point lore wise. I have a strong suspicious he’s read warrior cats.

Connoreatspants: Was lazy once and now we all think he’s immortal. Just out here trying to play Minecraft as everyone reenacts musicals and the Cold War around him.

[simpingforthisonedeer]

Chapter 5: Knife To The Neck

Summary: The aftermath of an assassination attempt; Meet Arthur; Everyone's simping for Julius except Holly(she aint buying his shit); There's a world organization or two; oop there's fae and some more magic lore; what??? is?? Julius??; someone who likes to edge himself apparently; magic paintings and shit, man; also more forbidden magic shtuff :)))

Notes:  There's NSFW Julius and Aika art under the "Julius & Aika" tag and julius thirst from urs truly on my page ;)))) This chapter was gonna be like 10k words long but i didn't wanna scare yall off so have half of it ;))) Oh, and uhhh most chapters will have some explicit here and sometimes the whole chapter will be explicit like the next chapter is going to be a fuckfest O.o (what did you think Julius meant when he said "hOlD mE") So, if you're not into that, I don't suggest reading this fic lmao but hey, if you are, please continue ;)))

“Oh my fucking god, we all nearly died.”

“Mom!” Holly threw her arms around Aika and buried her face in her neck. She wrapped her arms and held her daughter tightly as her head spun.

“I'm so sorry,” she whispered, holding back tears, further exacerbating the growing headache. 

Julius kneeled next to the pair and laid a comforting hand on Aika’s head, unwilling to interrupt their moment.

“It’s okay, everyone’s fine,” Holly assured.

“Yes, but you had to—”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t actually scared. Remember what you told me? You told me to think logically if I ever feel scared and logically speaking, the moon is up tonight and dad would’ve been fine. The man needed me alive to leverage me so I would be fine too.”

“I think I would’ve felt better if you blamed me instead of growing up so quickly,” Aika grumbled.

Julius let out a laugh, drawing attention to himself. She untangled herself from Holly and scanned him for any injuries.

“Are you alright, Julius?”

He waved her off and rubbed his eyes. “Besides the impending headache from the monster of a report I would have to write, I’m fine,” He looked at them intently. “You all need a security detail if this really is a common occurrence.”

“Oh! That won’t work!” Holly piped up. “My dad and I don’t even live on this continent and mom’s always travelling or bothering Uncle Ray at work. It’s okay,” she gave him a thumbs up. “My mom can take care of herself. She’s really scary. My dad and her friends are too. That’s why you shouldn’t hold her hand. If anyone fin—”

“Holly!” Aika exclaimed in horror, her cheeks inflamed with embarrassment. She threw an apologetic look at Julius. “He’s a Magic Knight Captain. He can take care of himself.”

“Ohhhh. That’s why he smells so much,” she muttered to herself, nodding as if everything made sense.

“What!” Julius whipped his head around, trying to check himself.

“Holly, no!” Aika stifled her laughs as she tried to catch his attention.

“You don’t smell, Julius. My daughter has Magic Synesthesia. Please forgive her. She’s just trying to say you have a lot of mana.”

He let his jaw drop in awe. That was an incredibly rare and fascinating condition! People with Magic Synesthesia were incredibly sensitive to magic, detecting unique mana from incredibly long distances. In fact, the world’s most famous bounty hunters and trackers had some form of Magic Synesthesia.

“Wait, really?! Then what do I smell like?”

Aika was going to stop Holly before she said something offensive again but it was too late.

“You smell like a warm, jelly-filled pączki in the middle of a lightning storm. It’s a good smell. It’s cold and warm at the same time,” she sniffed and wrinkled her nose. “But it barely covers the whiskey smell.”

“Oh, that was what the sweet smell was,” Aika nodded to herself, not unlike her own daughter. She rather liked pączki… 

Holly narrowed her eyes at her mom. She has good magic sense with her nose too but she has to be really close to smell something distinct like that. When did she get so close to him?

“WOW! That’s amazing, could you tell me—”

“I’m glad you lot are still alive.”

The trio turned towards the front of the house as a handsome, black-haired man with glittering, emerald eyes stepped into the moonlight as he rolled his bleeding shoulder with a groan. He tossed his braid behind him and raised his brows at Julius. 

“Did that handsome Magic Knight over there take that assassin out?”

Julius blushed furiously as this man, whom he was assuming was Arthur, winked salaciously at him.

“Listen here, you useless himbo.”

Holly stifled her giggles as her mom tore into her dad. It would get funnier when she realizes he was drunk too.

“You had one job and that was to keep Holly safe. An assassin throws some iron at you and you fall like a bag of bricks? It’s a freaking miracle you’re still alive after all these years.”

Arthur shrugged and winced at the pain.

“Your concern is touching, but what can I say? The Gods don’t want me and the Devil isn’t done with me. I’ll live.”

Aika rolled her eyes as she stood up and Julius with her.

“But really, what happened to the assassin?”

Julius ran a hand through his hair as he spoke up.

“The assassin had explosive runes on his chest and inside of his mouth. He already activated the runes so Aika threw him high and I contained the explosion. It was the only way.”

“Woah, he has a nice voice too.”

Holly groaned internally. Not her dad too.

“Dad.”

“Sorry, that was rude.” Suddenly he was in front of Julius, bowing as he took his hand. “My name is Arthur. What’s yours?”

Aika slapped his hand away as Julius looked on in shock.

“Don’t answer that question, Julius,” she said seriously as she threw a warning look at Arthur’s way. He shouldn’t use his fae magic if he doesn’t want to bring unwanted attention to himself. With that sentence alone, she made sure Arthur knew Julius’ name indirectly and thwarted his plan to assume control of the unsuspecting man. Trust him to think with his dick.

Holly groaned out loud this time. She didn’t understand what the weird tension between the three was, but it was disgusting. She shook her head as she walked back into the house. She didn’t want to be there if they got worse.

Arthur’s eyes flickered up to his forehead where the star lay on his forehead in interest. 

Is this the Time mage she was looking for?

His eyes slid down to Julius’ chest as he subtly reached out with his mana. He noticed that this man seemed to be hiding a significant portion of his mana and wore the Grey Deers crest.

Oh, lord. Is he that Magic Knight Captain?

“Holy shit, you’re that Captain no one knows the attribute about. Good thing that, considering the Pascere Syndicate went through so much effort to cover up Aika’s Time Magic,” he added.

“The Pascere Syndicate?” Julius frowned. He heard about them. “You mean the Assembly of Nations?” He knew he would have to attend at least one of their conventions after he gets appointed the Wizard King. It was a giant committee that sought to maintain peace, prevent magical wars and forbidden rituals on a global-scale that could destroy the world.

And wait, cover up Time Magic? How does he know that I have Time Magic?  

“Yeah, them. You’ve been doing a good job of covering up your Time magic so far,” he said, looking pointedly at his forehead. “but please try not to catch any unwanted attention from the international community,” Arthur laughed nervously. The last time that happened...Oh, he did not want to think about it. He didn’t particularly care if there was another Time Mage, especially since it looked like Julius kept his low-key, but people who would want to use it for themselves often took down many in their path to get it.

Julius nodded hesitantly at the unexpected advice.

“I’ll keep that in mind...”

“What are you doing here in the countryside anyways? Isn’t there a war going on?”

“He was just escorting me home,” Aika said as glared at Arthur. She slowly wrapped a possessive arm around Julius’ waist. He looked at her with a pleased grin and pulled her closer to his side.

Arthur’s mouth dropped into an “o” when he realized what they were actually here for and threw a knowing smirk at them. 

Seems like the Time mages are getting along quite nicely… 

He laughed as he slapped Julius’ back jovially but immediately recoiled. He quickly covered that up as if he was rolling his shoulders at the expense of the sharp pain that shot through his body. He willed his beating heart to calm down as hysteria threatened to crawl up his buzzed brain.

What the hell was that?

“I’m so sorry, Julius,” Arthur stepped back with his arms raised. He nodded at Aika calmly, though his eyes were filled with no small amount of fear, hoping she would spot it. 

She just threw a grateful look at him and shared a smile with Julius. Arthur’s shoulders slackened an inch when he saw genuine affection in their eyes. Oh. That was surprising...

But whatever it was, he needed to get Holly away from here. He needed to leave anyway due to the custody contract and someone will notice the assassin gone and will investigate. Whatever this Time mage was, he was trouble too. 

“I’ll take Holly home and bring her around tomorrow afternoon,” he declared with forced nonchalance. “Holly!” he called out. “Come on, dear! We’re leaving!”

“Wait, I need a statement from you two,” Julius stepped forward officiously, choosing to ignore his bizarre behavior for now. He had noticed how Arthur let go of him and the way his eyes shook in their sockets as he looked at Aika as if to warn her. He seemed scared of Julius all of a sudden, but whatever it was, he needed to get a word from them before they leave. Plenty of time to investigate later.

“Could you please explain how a foreign assassin got to Hage?”

Aika reached out and touched Arthur’s arm to heal it. He smiled tightly as he answered,

“Holly and I were exploring the continent—because it was our week off,” Arthur quickly explained when Aika opened her mouth to berate him again. “and we were in the Spade Kingdom touring your alma mater,” He motioned at Aika. “when the assassin, who had been tailing us the whole time, finally found an opportunity. We realized too late and were going to teleport away but he caught up to us as we ported here and there was a little scuffle,” Holly jogged back to her father’s side, unamused. “I got injured, Holly was restrained and held hostage for approximately an hour, then you two came along and you know the rest of the story,” he finished as he rushed at the end. He really needed to leave. He was getting antsy to get Julius away from Holly.

“Ah, thank you, Arthur!” Julius took his hand and Arthur suppressed a shudder at the wave of goosebumps and unnatural cold followed by warmth that settled over him.

Julius raised an eyebrow at the way he tensed and the distinctly different mana he was giving off.

That’s very interesting...

“It was really nice meeting you two,” He expressed sincerely.

“Of course,” Arthur said lowly, injecting false flirtatiousness into his tone. He needed to stay in character.

“Aika, can I speak with you for a moment before we go?” His hand twitched as he reached for Holly. He didn’t want to leave her but he needed to avoid suspicion. 

“Of course!” She turned to Julius and quickly pecked his cheek. Arthur’s anxiety shot up. “I’ll be right back Julius,” she said as he grinned sheepishly. Holly rolled her eyes at the display and crossed her arms across her chest.

Arthur squared his shoulders as Aika silently led them to a tree on the front yard. He needed to warn her.

She turned to him with a raised brow.

“Is everything alright?”

Arthur shot a cautious look at Julius. “No, it’s not. Your new boytoy isn’t human.”

She threw a sharp look at him. “First of all, don’t call him ‘my boytoy’ and second of all, what do you mean by that?”

“I mean that he doesn’t have a heart. His heartbeat is fake.”

“Oh, I knew that.”

“What? ”

Aika crossed her arms. “I had my lips to his pulse. His heart was supposed to be beating quickly at that moment, but at the speed he was going, he was either having a heart attack or he was orgasming,” she rolled her eyes. “But we got interrupted before we could even get that far. So yeah, his heartbeat is fake. So what? That doesn’t make him inhuman. His blood still flows, I can assure you that,” she added smugly.

Arthur shook as he stifled a smile. “Yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that his mana is completely different from normal humans.”

She hummed thoughtfully. “Well, forbidden magic can make a human mana seem inhuman. He doesn’t have any weg,” her eyes widened. “But didn’t I say that the seal on my forehead could double as a seal for weg?”

“Forget about forbidden magic!” he hissed. “Okay, he’s not as straight-laced as he looks. Okay, whatever, but I know how forbidden magic feels like on a person. This isn’t forbidden magic, it feels more lighter, and it’s not elf magic either. What kind of magic allows you to not have a beating heart, and feel light and dangerous?”

Aika’s cheek twitched. “Fine,” she conceded. “I’ll keep an eye on him. But I think you’re worrying about nothing. He’s had many opportunities to cause any harm but he hasn’t. He was actually really gentle and vulnerable with me. He is also a respected Magic Knight who is on his way to becoming Wizard King.”

“I know and it looks like he may have some rather large skeletons in his closet.”

“Arthur, we all do,” Aika sighed heavily. “Look, he is good. I can assure you that. You know what he wants to do when he is Wizard King? He wants to end classist discrimination in Clover Kingdom and he was genuine about it. Look, I’m surrounded by liars and I can smell one from a mile away. He hasn’t lied to me.”

“Yet.”

She growled in annoyance. “Are you worried about me or something?”

“Am I worried about the mother of my child? Yes, and I still stand by the fact that he doesn’t feel remotely human.”

“You’re not human either, idiot. I don’t care if he isn’t. I mean, as long as he isn’t conspiring anything malicious, I don’t have any problem with him being not-human and/or using forbidden magic,” she snorted. “I’d be a hypocrite if I did.”

“Okay, I’ll drop it for now,” Arthur shook his head. Maybe she’ll see some sense after she’s had her way with him. He smirked at her. 

“I guess you would be biased,” he quirked his eyebrow knowingly. “I see you eye-fucking him.”

“Oh, please as if I’d let that cloud my judgement and besides,” she threw a long look at Julius on his knees as he talked to their daughter. “As soon as you two leave, that wouldn’t be the only thing I would’ve done by the end of the night.”

Arthur relaxed a bit. While his instincts screamed that Julius was hiding something about himself, it doesn't necessarily mean he’s hiding something heinous or harmful. If anything were to happen, he believed that she could take care of herself.

“Be careful, and if you two continue your little tête-à-tête and you’re still alive, let me join sometime,” he winked as he added playfully.

“Oh, come on. The last time we both got into the same bed, you came out at the end of it looking like you lost a fist fight.”

He stuck his tongue out childishly. “Too bad I’m into that.”

He dodged as she smacked his arm with an indulgent laugh.

Julius kneeled in front of Holly with a forbearing smile.

“I really like your mom,” he admitted plainly. She scoffed derisively, all manners to the wind.

“Did I do anything to offend you? If so, could I do anything to fix it?”

“All of them are like that,” she snarled bitterly as looked at her nails. “Your type only likes my mom because she’s pretty and nothing else,” Holly braced herself, ready to cut him down if he moved to attack her, but he only stayed silent. She looked up to see Julius looking at her mom by the tree with a smile that threatened to overtake his face.

“Yeah, she’s pretty,” he agreed as he tore her eyes from her to look at Holly. “And she’s kind of scary too. She has a mean hook,” he huffed as he looked at Aika from the corner of his eye. “But she’s super smart and really cool. She knows a lot about magic and I want to learn from her. I want to work with her and the time I spent with her so far has been... freeing ,” he admitted shyly. “I want to know more about her and I want us to get along because you are her daughter and she loves you a lot. One day, I hope she could even show me a sliver of that love,” Julius sighed deeply. “Could you please tell me what she likes or where she might want to go?” He looked at her pleadingly. “I’d love to take her on a date.”

Holly stared at him, eyes as wide as saucers. The lump in her throat made it hard for her to breath. No one’s ever talked about her mom like that to her face…

“Um,” she squeaked as tears gathered at the edge of her eyes. Holly looked up and blinked rapidly, willing them to go away. All of her mom’s past lovers have always avoided her because she wasn’t their daughter. No one’s really come up to her and told her that they sincerely liked her mom. They might have loved her but she didn’t know and she didn’t understand it anyway. But the way Julius looked away at her mom while Holly composed herself made her chest constrict.

She cleared her throat, bringing his attention back to her. He looked at her searchingly to make sure she was ‘okay.’

“Sh-she likes to stay in during winters with hot cocoa and blankets and just talk. She likes to listen to people talk about their day,” Holly breathed in deeply. If he was sincere, and if he would continue to look at her mom like that, then she could afford to help him a bit. “If you want to get her something, don’t . But if you really want to, make her something, like food or a bracelet or something like that. She likes personal things like that.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate that.”

They both turned their heads when Aika and Arthur burst out laughing. Jealousy shot through Julius when Arthur laid a hand on Aika’s shoulder.

“Say...How close are your mom and dad?”

Holly shrugged. “They’re best friends. There’s not much to say besides that,” she raised a brow at him. “But if you’re asking if they like each other that way, I’d say ‘no.’”

Julius nodded, slightly relieved, and stood up as the grinning pair made their way to them.

“What are you two whispering about?”

“He was just keeping me entertained,” Holly quickly covered as Julius threw a grateful smile at her.

Aika and Arthur shared a disbelieving look. Their daughter was good at lying, but she wasn’t going to fool them , her teachers.

“Thank you, Julius,” Arthur said, looking better than he did before. Aika walked and stood next to Julius as she laced her fingers with his. Holly quickly hugged her mom and took her father’s hand.

“We’ll take our leave,” he said quietly and nodded at the two with a wink. “Have fun.”

“Bye!” Holly chirped before they vanished from sight.

“They didn’t have to leave at my expense,” Julius began as he turned to Aika with a neutral smile. She waved him off and looped an arm with him as she led them back to her house.

“They didn’t leave because of you,” she tightened her hold on him. “They left because of the custody contract. Holly can only visit me during weekends, holidays and extenuating circumstances. After that, she has to leave.”

“Arthur is very nice for a fae,” Julius said nonchalantly. He caught Aika as she stumbled over her own feet.

“What? How did you—”

“He wanted your firstborn, apparently iron is deadly to him going by your words, you stopped me from saying my name directly, his mana was not human and you have a pact with him; All clues point to him being fae. I wasn’t really sure because he recovered from the iron but your reaction confirms my suspicions,” he grinned in satisfaction as she stared at him in shock.

“I-Yeah, I mean you guessed right.” It made sense how quickly he connected the dots. Julius was going to be the Wizard King for a reason.

He leaned forward with an excited grin. “So your daughter is half-fae right? Does that mean she has two attributes? One is Spatial Magic, what is the other one? Can I ask Arthur questions about him being fae if I ever see him again?”

Aika stared at him for a moment, completely caught off guard by the cute expression on his face.

“Her other attribute is Sun Magic and y-yeah, you can,” she looked away with a blush. She really needed a sober-up potion. Julius tilted her face back with a finger and slotted his lips against Aika’s tenderly, much to her shock. She stared at his closed eyes and thick eyelashes and melted into the kiss and cradled his face. Their lips moved slowly and patiently against each other until they reluctantly pulled back to breathe.

Julius leaned his forehead against her’s. “Could I ask you a few more questions for my report,” he asked breathily against her lips.

“Of course,” Aika whispered back.

They linked hands with a shared smile and walked up the stony path to the house. He opened the door for her as she asked,

“Where did you learn to speak Greek?”

“My father and stepmother are children of Greek immigrants. I grew up speaking Greek and Latin,” he answered as he handed off his cloak and cape to her. That little information about his stepmother piqued her interest.

“Woah, that’s really cool!”

“Where did you learn?”

“I was in Athens for a few months, picked up the language on the go.”

“Wow! You were in Greece?”

“I’ve been everywhere,” Aika answered with a proud smile as she hung the cape and cloak on the coat rack. “I’m going to go wash my feet. Could you please take out the sober-up potions from the cabinet left of the kitchen sink for us?”

Julius nodded as she took a turn down a hallway off to the side. He examined the living room more carefully. It was modestly decorated with a few bronze accents pieces and dark brown furniture, but the walls were decorated with landscape and abstract paintings by Aika’s father. Some were of a view he would expect to see outside a cabin in the middle of the woods or at the edge of the sea and some were chaotic depictions of fire, water, lightning and metal curling around each other, tightly linked and unwilling to let go.

He shook his head and strode into the kitchen as he went over the questions he was going to ask. As he reached for the cabinet where he assumed Aika kept her potions, he was hit with a wave of unnatural dread from the window above the kitchen sink. He strained his eyes to look outside in curiosity and extended his mana zone in the direction of the backyard. His dread increased when he detected recent activity of forbidden magic. It was like a parasite that crawled over scorched Earth and flowers which surprisingly thrived despite the oppressive mana. It was all Aika’s magic.

His chest tightened at the thought of her doing forbidden magic but Julius could feel it so vividly. She had been doing forbidden magic. He wondered how he couldn’t feel it on her…He took out the potion and swallowed it thickly as any warm feeling he had of her shriveled up and died. He blinked as his vision grew clearer and leaned heavily against the kitchen countertop. He had such high hopes. 

“Boo.”

Julius immediately pivoted on his heel, fingers pointed at Aika’s neck as they sparked with mana. She stared at him, fresh-faced as she cocked her head.

“You’re under arrest for the use of forbidden magic,” he growled as he glared at her. Her eyes lit up in understanding and smiled cryptically.

“That’s kind of hot,” she giggled as her hand traveled up his tense chest.

“Wh—” And before he could finish his sentence, he was slammed against the wall, his wrists crossed and pinned above his head. He forgot she was Time Mage too. She could be just as fast as him.

Aika breezily opened her potions cabinet and downed the sober-up potion. 

Julius strained against the invisible, hand-like force on his wrists to no avail. She flipped a dining table chair around with a flourish and leisurely sat on it as she crossed her legs, looking like the very image of grace as she adjusted her skirt.

“Does Master Raymond know you use forbidden magic?” He spat as he struggled to uncross his wrists. Julius flared his mana threateningly as he activated mana skin but even then he couldn't break the bonds holding him. She quirked an eyebrow at him as she answered his question.

“Know?” she cocked her head at him. “He sanctions it.” Aika supressed a smile as Julius stilled in shock. “I’m sure you had questions about how I knew the forbidden runes on Sven’s body. A better question would be how you, a Magic Knight Captain, knew.”

Julius stayed silent as they both stared at each other, wearing equally neutral expressions.

“I like to read,” he finally said.

“Oh no, I knew that already. The question is why you would be reading about forbidden runes.”

“I could ask you the same,” Julius said, his expression icy and eyes that were dull to the point where they seemed black in the dim torchlight of the kitchen.

Aika raised her hands as she shrugged. “I’m an open book. I’ll tell you where I learned if you tell me.”

He jerked against the restraints one more time before he slackened in defeat. 

He sighed. “There’s a secret section of the Royal Library,” he growled, refusing to elaborate further.

“Oh, is that all?” Aika sighed in relief. She read everything in there already and it only had elementary books on forbidden subjects. “If that’s where you learned then that’s okay. It would be a problem if you were actually interested in forbidden magic and sought after it in other places,” Aika nodded as she crossed her arms. 

“I learned forbidden magic in the Spade Nation War College for four years since I was 16. That was almost twenty years ago,” she explained as she hugged herself. She smiled wickedly when Julius’ eyes strayed downwards to her chest.

“Did you know,” Aika began as his eyes flickered up to her’s with an embarrassed blush. “That using forbidden magic and having weg is a symbol of power in the rest of the world? It’s taboo on this continent only because someone opened the Qliphoth Tree over 600 years ago and let out a lot of demons into the world. The rest of the world actually still hates the Four Suits continent because of that,” she shook her head with a wry smile. “It’s no matter,” she leaned forward as if she was going to tell him a secret. 

“I’m not particularly a patriot or a nationalist—I’ve been around the world way too many times to be one—but serving the Wizard King was and is a pleasure. I do forbidden magic for the Wizard King. I keep my hands dirty so the Wizard King doesn’t have to—but that doesn’t mean Master Raymond’s hands are entirely clean,” she snorted as she said, “He did choke the life out of an entire army with their own blood and drown another. Did you know that he’s known as The Leviathan around the world for that?”

“Just because Master Raymond sanctions it, doesn’t mean it’s legal. Using forbidden magic means losing your humanity.”

“Yeah, if you don’t use it carefully. There are safeguards against that but there are some rituals where you can’t avoid that. But if you mean losing your emotions, I mean it happens, again, if you’re not careful. And besides, it’s legal if you have a license, and guess what? I have a license. I’ve saved lives with forbidden magic and if you try to have it revoked, you will be hard-pressed by many factions ready to defend me.”

Julius sighed and closed his eyes in relief. In order to be approved for a license, it takes years of thorough background checks, psychiatric evaluations and high-level government who "okayed" it. If she’s been approved, then she can be trusted. “You could’ve just said that. Please let me go. I won’t attack you.”

She giggled as she shook her head. “Sorry, I just felt like monologuing like a villain,” she said as she winked.

Julius laughed as he looked up at his restraints. “Could you please let me go?”

Aika’s languid eyes roved over his stretched out form. “No, I don’t think I will,” her lips twitched up into a suggestive smirk. “I rather like the view.”

A thrill shot through Julius as he resisted the urge to squirm. Her predatory gaze wasn’t doing anything to help the burning heat growing in his lower belly.

“CAPTAIN!”

They both jumped as a screen materialized in front of Julius’ face.

“What-Where have you been? The meeting was over hours ago! Why are your hands above your head like that?!”

“Marx! Ah, I am just stretching my arms,” he laughed nervously. Aika let go of her hold on him with a silent laugh. She couldn’t see who this Marx character was but she spared Julius the indignity of someone witnessing him being tied up like that.

Julius dropped his arms and rolled his shoulders as he smiled wide.

“I’m kind of busy right now, Marx. I have no doubt that the squad is up right now partying their Friday night. Well, tell them to party harder because tonight is that last night before we begin preparing for the final battle! By this time Saturday, we either win or lose the war.”

“The final battle? Are you sure, sir?”

“Yes, I am, Marx. Join your friends or just relax because tomorrow, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“Yes, sir...Aren’t you coming back to the base? You could look at Magic later, sir…”

“I’ll be there,” he smiled kindly. “but don’t expect me.”

“You could look at magic later! You have to inform the squad yourself now! A final battle? I can’t even begin to imagine what we need to start preparing!”

Julius raised his hands as he cringed from his berating.

“I’ll be there soon as soon as I can!”

“Alright, you better be!”

The screen fizzled out and Julius pressed a hand to his chest and exhaled in relief. Aika found it strange, for a passing moment, that he was still making gestures as if he had a heart that could beat.

“Oh, that was embarrassing,” Julius huffed as he leaned his head back against the wall. 

“You should go, you know,” she said softly.

He gasped dramatically and pouted as he strode to where she sat.

“You want to get rid of me already?” he asked as he cocked his head down at her. She tugged him hard onto her lap but he readily straddled her legs and threw arms around her shoulders as they both looked at each other challengingly.

“I think you know the answer to that,” she whispered and leaned forward to nip at his exposed neck. “But you shouldn’t slack off work for my sake.”

“I’m just letting my squad have one night off before I work them to death.” Julius squirmed as Aika bit harder. He slowly knotted his hands in her hair and pulled gently. She hummed as her hands slid from his hips down to his ass and squeezed as he moaned.

“Who knew that a man of your stature, and the future Wizard King could be so submissive. ” She slid a hand down his front and cupped him through his pants. Julius shamelessly humped against her hand with a whine, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He buried his face in her shoulder as he panted.

“I’m expected to be the opposite,” he admitted breathily. “But it was quite nice when you took the initiative.”

Aika brought her hands up to his face with an amused twitch of her lips and pecked at the little dimple at the corner of his mouth.

“Well, you are absolutely adorable. How could I not?”

He shook his head with an embarrassed grin and looked around and his jaw dropped at the framed painting that covered most of the kitchen’s West wall. It was gigantic but he didn’t notice it in his lust-filled haze.

“Holy—That’s amazing! Did your father paint that?” Aika nearly groaned out loud when he jumped off her lap and moved closer to the painting to examine it closely.

It was a small, raven-haired boy caught mid-dance as the rain and wind swept his hair and clothes as lightning curled around him. The stormy sky in the background was lit with stray lightning and some even seemed to strike the ground around him. Julius couldn’t help but gape at the magic depicted so delicately and with such detail. He could almost feel the mana through the canvas.

Aika studied the little boy’s face with a sad smile as she stood next to him.

“Yeah, he did. We caught my brother summoning storms again when he was 10 and gained full control of his magic. My father found the scene very picturesque so he spent months painting and perfecting it. ” 

Julius stared, starry-eyed as he touched the lightning on the boy’s cheek.

“He was summoning storms at 10? He must be a really strong mage now! Where’s your brother now? Why have I never heard of such a strong lightning mage in the Magic Knights? Didn’t you say he wanted to be Wizard King?”

“Oh, my brother’s in the backyard right now,” she said casually as she willed her face to stay neutral.

“In the backyard?” he craned his head to look out the window. “At this time? What’s he doing?”

“Staying dead.”

Julius clamped one hand over his mouth to stop an inappropriate guffaw from bursting out. He let his hand fall and pursed his lips as Aika continued.

“The painting is called ‘The Symphony of the Lightning God,’” she continued as she motioned at the painting with a giggle.

“I-I see,” he snorted. “I’m so sorry. That was so rude of me.”

She sniggered. “No, it’s perfectly fine. My brother told me to make that joke.”

“He told you? When did he die?”

Aika paused. “Over 23 years ago...He was thirteen and I was sixteen…”

Julius’s face grew somber as he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder.

“I’m sorry...I’m sure you miss him…”

She snorted. “No, I don’t. I saw his dumbass yesterday. What do you think the forbidden magic in the backyard was?”

“Huh?”

[thespiralgrimoire]

Episodes 126-127

Is the opening really gonna change every few episodes now? Bruh, I don't have the attention span for this shit

I've always wondered why they changed Sol's pet name from "sis" to "Char" in the dub? It gives their interactions a different feel and idk if I like it

Anyway Charla is my favorite elf and I will make it everyone's problem

I love how Yami is low-key such a sweetie, bringing all the injured captains gifts and asking how they're doing (he makes Fuegoleon a gift when he's in his coma in the light novels). He takes jabs at them but it's obviously meant in a friendly way and he's just so nice, even if he's rough about it

OKAY someone really has to tell me, is having a crush as an adult really like this?

Because I haven't had a crush since I was like 16, and I don't remember ever being at this level of wacky? Like even adjusting for cartoon antics, is this relatable to people who get crushes or is Charlotte just wound SUPER tight?

Anyway shout-out to Charlotte for becoming a magic knight captain and when it came time to pick her uniform she said "fuck it everyone's gonna dress like me now"

Charlotte coming out as straight to her squad continues to be the funniest thing on the planet but I've talked about that already so moving on

Actually no never mind why did they make her squad straight in the anime?? They didn't all have boyfriends in the manga! HOMOPHOBIC

AJASJSKSHSKSHSJSJSKS

THE SPARKLES I'M CRYING

"There's a member of your own squad who has been affected more severely than I have" which one bitch?? Half the black bulls are cursed

This whole episode is so fucking funny I don't know how I survived it

Alright moving onto 127

I like the extra detail that the anime gives to the Agrippa magic. It was a kinda vague in the anime so it's nice to see that fleshed out a little bit

Gordon's family welcoming him with open arms even after he feels like he betrayed them and disrespected them? 👌👌👌

If Roxanne Agrippa gave me a laughing meatball I would simply cherish it and love her. Rip to Grey but I'm different

Roxanne: "Nice to meetcha"

Me:

The Agrippa family just fills me with so much love. It seems like Nathan turned the entire base of his work around from harming to healing because he knew it would mean so much to his son. He finds real joy in it and he's helping people, but Gordon was the inspiration for it. And he didn't do it to bring Gordon back, he just did it because he knew Gordon would like it, whether he came back or not. Wholesome family

"You people need to learn communicate!" AJDJEODHAKASBSJSJ SHUT THE FUCK UP GAUCHE

DOROTHY TIME

Noelle ... She went to see Solid, Nebra, and Nozel and we only got THIRTY SECONDS OF IT!?

"I could never say no to a cute girl like you!" Dorothy that's gay

"a smidge of light torture :3c"

Dorothy really snatched Noelle's entire wig with that Asta illusion huh

This is still weird but it's way better than the manga

Dream Nozel doting on Noelle cleared my skin, watered my crops, activated my almonds,

Wait you telling me "Magicula" is pronounced with a soft G? Blocked and reported

And we're back to the Agrippas

Ajsbdkshaksbsksns "they're all kinda cursed" I feel validated

I feel like I'm in a desert and I've been given a drop of water WHY are they rationing the Silva lore like this--

I mean I know why they are but I HATE IT

Wait that's where the dub ends?!?

I can't do this man I'm dumb stupid I can't read I'm illiterate I don't wanna do all that sub and I don't wanna wait

Fuck

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

U know how ppl were able to make their own BL1 maps and with a bit of playing around u could use them urself. I'm gonna do that but with Bl3 but I'm gonna make junpai-7. Not actually, because it's probably not technically possible, but I will threaten it because give me water planet.

Here's the deal

I have already designed the eridian compass which will be the focus of the dlc and I plan to design the vault n monster both of which have been discussed previously on dis blog so I won't go in depth bc I have other things I wanna ramble abt.

Cutlord Karuu is gonna be the main villain. The Driver will control some misc fodder enemies as well before she eventually turns to the Raiders side and Karuu takes over all the villain bits. Because I love my vampire pirate queen (because gearbox looooves to name drop but not give them any character!!!) and I'd die for her, actually.

Also Clay makes a return bc I already decided his and Zane's smuggling job on Junpai-7 was related to the compass and Cutlord Karuu, so he'd have insight and potentially be the reason the VHs go to Junpai in the first place. And I love clay because he's one of the best new characters imo. Originally the VHs were going to go because Hammerlock wanted to finish a hunt he had started there (Commander lily shows he did go there) but I figured he already had his dlc this game and the last game that also featured a whole hunt thing soooo. Bring back Clay instead because I love his voice and I wanna learn more about the Vault shaped scar on his forearm.

The maps will be a mix of seaside towns (like guns love and tentacles- also a lot have abandoned Dahl structures since Hector mentions his unit visiting Junpai-7 in Commander lily) but notably they don't fish even tho the planet is 80-90% water (also there are a lot of wanted posters, and some are of a younger Zane and Clay and Karuu), a big pirate ship hub on the water that has the quick change ammo dump zeds meds etc and captain Scarlett hanging out for shits and giggles, jungles to hike through, a moon pool for Eridian lore, beaches + coves, and underwater parts for the Vault (not truly underwater bc swimming mechanics hard), imagine forcefields holding the water back kinda like that one scene in Pirates of the Caribbean except the water is over the top, too, and everything is bioluminescent and the brightest light is from the Eridian markings, crystals, and any entities glowing in the dark because it's pretty and I want it and if we're going to have magic glowing powers and glowing crystals we NEED a dark area for them to truly SHINE

Also yes there's a moon pool on junpai-7 because H2o is cool and it makes u have big dick energy and I wanted to work on my Driver/Eridian experimentation lore and I figured the moon pool should be her main base of operations and part of the reason the townspeople don't move beyond their coastal towns and into the jungle (because everyone who goes there comes back Different)

Also because the moons on Junpai-7 are so feared, they have the Sun Festival (mentioned by digby v in handsome jackpot). I'd like it a lot if the VHs showed up during one, during like a solace or smth where the sun is out for a full day and then as the dlc progresses they finally learn why the people of junpai-7 fear the night (hellllloooo Driver)

So anyway the dlc's main story would focus on finding the Eridian compass and opening the Vault before Cutlord Karuu does- as most borderlands themed content tends to go. I prefer it that way because it makes you be more creative with it... Like they say 'judge not the premise but how it is executed' or something n sometimes they do it really well n sometimes they... Don't. The side story is about the Driver and the mystery of what's going on under the surface (literally!!! Hahahaha) of Junpai-7

Clay is the main helper for Cutlord Karuu and the compass

Tannis is the main helper for the Driver and Eridian lore

Captain Scarlett is there on the main base of operations ship because if we're having another pirate dlc she better fucking be there. I just personally don't want her to be the 'bad guy' this time around, I wanna go for something new. She'll probably be missing from the hub with a few random decorations missing/'replaced' by the end of the story or after a side mission she sends us on. Because it'd be funny and fit with her character. Some electronic thing just has an 'out of order' sign taped to it because she stole all the valuable insides and dipped

Also if H2o Au is canon then I need to come up with a way for the luneshine to not have any effect on Zane during the dlc or else his voice lines are going to be EXTRA entertaining I'm sure Tannis can help somehow if we let her study the moon pool lmao

[stardatewiththedevil]

Fine, humans, fly your “starship”

I knew that having to start my stardate-order journey with Enterprise*, which I had never made it more than 20 minutes into before, would be a challenge. But my first foray into 22nd-century Starfleet is leaving me with more questions than answers.

To recap

Earth has a ship capable of Warp 5, but the Vulcans have told them they can’t use it yet. Our hero Jonathan Archer’s dad invented it, but died before he could see it put into use. The Enterprise NX-01 has been collecting dust for 50 years. But when a farmer shoots a stray Klingon, humans finally have the right excuse to ask their Space Daddies for a hall pass!!!!!

The humans of 22nd-century Earth, at least the high-ranking space boys we observe, are cavalier and impulsive, really into some cowboy shit. While it makes sense the Vulcans wouldn’t want Earthlings drunkenly stomping through the galaxy fresh off world unification, it’s pretty surprising that none of these fuckers went rogue and zoomed off into space. But instead they seem to mostly throw tantrums and then ultimately fall in line.

But this time, they throw the correct tantrum! The Vulcans want to kill the unconscious Klingon so he dies with honor, even though he has some kind of message to deliver to his people. They also want to delay a planned launch of the Enterprise over the incident. Archer has had enough and demands that not only are they NOT allowed to kill the Klingon, they have to let him, specifically him, return him to Kronos in the ship nobody has flown yet.

Daddy Vulcan says “ok, but come STRAIGHT home after dropping off the Klingon.” (Spoiler: They don’t!!!!!!)

Charming!

It is literally the first time launching this advanced Warp 5 ship and they’re doing it early, but nothing really goes wrong, hardware-wise, despite what appears to be a reckless lack of testing. Most of the adjustments they’re making are like, adjusting the TV and calibrating weapons arrays.

Everyone seems way too chill with this idea of going extremely fast out in the middle of space where no humans have gone yet. Except Hoshi Sato, Bless you, Hoshi, our queen of having normal feelings.

Up until this point, humans have only been hitting Warp 2, or eight times the speed of light. They’ve also been in contact with the Vulcans for almost a century. Some space travel is in service of colonization (e.g., settling on Mars). But the biggest, longest trips are on freighters, spending sometimes literally years on trade routes within 90 light years of Earth (more than 11 human years away!). As a Warp 5 ship sits docked in Earth’s orbit, children are born and raised on trade routes. (These kids are called “boomers”! I thought they just meant extremely old people or time travelers the first time they said it!)

Still, people are pretty used to being in space and visiting other planets, and have been for 50 years or so. But the Vulcans are maybe the only society present in this sector that have any mobility beyond that—so they’re holding everyone’s hand, handing out learner’s permits, basically doing a very gentle imperialism. This is a foreign policy I will from here on out call the Daddy Doctrine.

Also, the Big Bad this season appears to be... Zordon?

Meet the Spacepeople

Our captain this time around is Jonathan Archer, and everyone definitely knows who his daddy is. He invented the ship! When Starfleet finally launches said ship, some admiral praises the Starfleet nepotism that led to this grown child being in charge of an infinite number of first contacts, despite him losing his cool in front of the Space Daddies.

They’re going to have to talk to Klingons, so Archer taps Hoshi Sato, a genius human linguist and the only human to speak Klingon. She teaches other people to speak Klingon! But she has trouble translating some Klingon word salad almost immediately. Oh well! That said, Sato is one of two characters I can confidently say I like at this point. She has very normal human emotions about stuff like “being very deep in space on an untested ship.”

T’Pol is a hot lady Vulcan who was part of the deal for the humans to take the car keys, but she says she’s not there to babysit. She never really babysits, but people seem surprised when she doesn’t babysit, anyway. She first appears onscreen as the youngest member of the Vulcan Daddy Cabal by a long shot.

Charles “Trip” Tucker III is Archer’s best friend and seems kinda fratty, the kind of guy that really seems like someone you’d call Trip.

Our zany character on this starship is Phlox, a Denobulan doctor who loves animal testing. Denobulans are from the planet Surplus Cardassian Prosthetics.

Travis Mayweather is a Boomer and I think I like him. His confidence is earned. As an experienced spaceman, he knows that setting the ship to .8 g makes for a pretty pleasant environment, and that does sound nice.

I know Star Trek doesn’t like to acknowledge any cultural accomplishments between the year 1930 and 2100, but I feel like Malcolm Reed is a They Might Be Giants fan. Also, he’s British.

Porthos is a beagle. He smells. I like him.

This is on my desktop as “space beagle.jpg” and someday I will delight in finding this again

This Fucking Ship

When crewmembers are reboarding, they have to pass through a decontamination chamber, which is fully a hostile work environment. The decontamination chamber forces crewmembers in a room together, where they are forced to spread goo on each other under ultraviolet light like a sexually aggressive sunscreen.

We see the decontamination chamber in the first episode, and it’s basically an excuse to show some HBO After Dark shit under some expository dialogue. Tucker—that’s the guy named TRIP—takes the liberty of applying gel underneath the waist of T’Pol’s underpants for her. It is gross. (And how does the gel even work if you leave your underwear parts un-gelled???)

To be fair, Trip’s chest gets a lot of focus, too. The whole scene is shot like a Bodman Fragrance Spray commercial.

I don’t intend for these to always be this long, or episode by episode, but I just started and I have A LOT OF FEELINGS. And I didn’t even GET INTO the hot shapeshifting lady that lived for about five minutes, long enough to kiss Archer because that’s how she “senses trust.” Some real TOS shit.

*I was thinking of doing a watch order that included two watches of First Contact, but I have made my bed and now I need to lie in it for 200 years.

**Special thanks to my Star Trek chos for helping me work through some fundamental lore stuff.