#like i don't feel any type of way about my decision to cut her off i'm not sad i'm not angry i'm not relieved i just... am.

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

Living with her is such a weird limbo now I’ve decided to go no-contact when I move out, like I’m sad and annoyed all the time about her bs and her attitude and her gaslighting, but I also know there’s an end in sight so I don’t feel... anything about it at the same time.

Idk I’ve got all these weird feelings/non-feelings going on and I just want to reach that end date so I can get on with my life, I’m feeling very weird lately...

[cherubfae]

|| love rival || Akatsuki x reader

They're now realizing what a mistake it was to introduce you to the group, now they have competition with their own teammate.

tags: former ninja!reader, gn! civilian reader, established relationships, threats, violence, protective!akatsuki, slightly suggestive in Sasori's || MDNI

Pain

He knows that Konan is harmless and she's not the sort of disrespectful person to go sniffing about where she doesn't belong, especially where he and his partner are concerned. Pain, however, cannot tolerate the lingering touches Konan gives you as she passes by. Her hand brushing yours, guiding you with an arm around your shoulders, and blushing at you. He feels a warning is warranted.

"You are my dear friend, Konan, I have known you many years, but this simply won't do. You are better than how you are acting. Be respectful and leave them alone, and I won't need to inflict pain upon you."

Konan

Oh, well isn't this troublesome. Konan isn't the type to make idle threats, but Pain is her commander and leader. That would not be a wise decision on her part, but she does trust her long-time friend to be somewhat respectful and not place you in any situation where you would be uncomfortable. She's not above putting her foot down if she really must.

"Sir, with all due respect, my partner isn't interested and we would both appreciate you to mind your manners."

Obito

You are his everything. He would destroy the entire world for you. Level mountains, tame seas, there isn't anything he wouldn't do as long as it's within his power. He's pretty surprised that Zetsu even took a liking to you, as he's not one that's expressed interest in most anything other than his eating habits.

"Surely Zetsu is mistaken. My partner isn't a corpse for you to munch on you, nor are they yours for the taking. Keep your distance and I won't have to bloody you up too much."

Zetsu

As with anything, both sides of him are at a near constant quarrel with each other. His light side trying to reassure his darker side that Tobi is harmless and doesn't mean anything malicious by taking interest in you.

"Tobi is a good boy, he means no harm." "His harm is his unwarranted interest in our beloved partner. Fool! You have no sense, do you?"

Hidan

Honestly he could laugh so hard he may undo the stitches in his neck. That old fucker wants his partner?? Is he actually serious?

"Haha! That's fucking rich! You've gotta be at least one-hundred by now, huh? Fuck off, geezer! They're not yours!"

Kakuzu

Clearly decapitating Hidan over and over doesn't make him talk any less. Neither does stabbing him-- but it sure does take the edge off. Kakuzu would rather not deal with the younger man's insufferable stubbornness. You are his lover, his alone, and Hidan had no chance in whatever the fuck kind of afterlife his mighty lord Jashin provides. None. Fuck off, Hidan.

"As if they'd want someone as lowly as you. You don't even pay for your own shit. Remember your place or I won't hesitate to remove you from this world permanently. One swipe and your head will be freed from your miserable shoulders. I'm sure all sorts of insects would love to burrow inside of that hollow space."

Itachi

For a moment he's reminded of Sasuke's little schoolboy crush on you, except Kisame isn't Sasuke. He is a grown adult capable of getting in the way of Itachi's livelihood. Threatening the sanctity of his relationship. He's unlikely to do much other than step in if he crosses any boundaries or makes you uncomfortable. So until something is said, it's just this weird, heavy atmosphere. Kisame starts to speak but Itachi cuts him off immediately.

"Keep their name out of your mouth, Kisame. I won't warn you again."

Kisame

Oftentimes he wonders how lonely Itachi is. He annihilated his entire clan save for his younger brother in a single night. He took away everything he loved and for what? He can appreciate Itachi's past but Kisame doesn't take too kindly to the eldest Uchiha brother being a bit too welcoming and protective of his partner.

"Itachi, a word of advice. Don't shit where you eat. And keep your nose out of other's relationships. You're a good, respectable man and I appreciate your concern in my partner's well-being. Let me handle it from here."

Sasori

There's still the age-old artistic view difference between the two: eternal art vs shortlived art. One could argue both have their merits, but even after all these years it was a sore subject between the blonde and redhead duo. And now you were thrown into the mix.

"If you truly think you're so superior to me, Deidara, then perhaps you'd be more open to what a waste your art truly is. My partner prefers eternal, long-lasting, but there's nothing long nor lasting about, is there?"

Deidara

This was great. Jusssst great. Sasori had been hanging around his area of the hideout more and for what, Deidara wasn't sure. Until he recalled that you had been given special permission to visit from Pain himself. You'd forsaken your village long ago and clearly had no interest in reporting them, so it was allowed. Sasori had begun skulking about ever since and the blonde could guess why he might be drawn to you.

"If you even think about turning my partner into a fuckin' puppet, I won't hesitate to kill you, Sasori. No matter which way I go about it, you'll end up in splinters. So, I repeat. Stay the fuck away from them, hmm."

|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024

[janearts]

ASDLKFJADKJ I love how you two immediately jumped to 'ok but like... is he #4 material?' (For those wondering, "What The Hell Is A #4?", the answer is linked here for reference.)

(The way to a woman's heart is through her favourite animal, obviously.)

Halsin is very much Roisia's type physically—aka large and in charge—and he has character traits that she would be attracted to: he's kind and compassionate, strong-willed and decisive, gentle and slow to anger, and in possession of a wry sense of humour and a keen intellect. So, yes, in that regard, Halsin definitely stands next to Wyll on the "suitable suitor to bring home" list. Top tier. Well done.

Additional rambling thoughts below the cut.

The trouble with Roisia when it comes to matters of the heart is that she unwittingly looks at a person, thinks she knows their true desires, can play out their combined future in her head, and judge them as compatible or incompatible without questioning her basic assumptions about that person. So, for example, Roisia would in many ways find Halsin an ideal romantic partner. And then, she would get into her own head. Like so:

Halsin is an archdruid. An elf accustomed to leading a notoriously outdoorsy lifestyle in a grove. Roisia is going to someday inherit an entire funerary business and wants to stay in Baldur's Gate, known for being not-at-all grove-like. Surely Mr. Outdoorsman will feel cooped up and miserable in a city if he thought the Grove was too comfortable for his tastes. Incompatible!

Halsin is all about the Natural Order of Things. Balance. Guess who disrupts said natural order when she takes dead things and reanimates them? Roisia. Roisia does. So they're at opposite ends of an ideological spectrum. Incompatible!

He's an elf; she's a human. They are on two different timelines as regards their lifespan. Unless Roisia can guarantee her own extended lifespan in a way that preserves the flesh on her bones in addition to her bones, she wants to grow with her #4 and not outpace her #4. Incompatible!

Again, these are assumptions that Roisia would make about Halsin, and I think she would ultimately write him off as a potential #4 more out of fear of some future rejection down the line than of Halsin necessarily explicitly confirming any of these assumptions to be true OR as relationship dealbreakers if they were. I want to shout out to @gracelessrogue for their tags:

It would not occur to Roisia that she could bond with a druid and a healer over life and death. If she would only think to challenge her own baseline assumptions about what she thinks she knows about the people she's travelling with, I think she would see the ways in which she could nurture long-term romantic connections with one or multiple of our possible companions.

Because, as it is, I think the larger issue is that Roisia would write off not just Halsin, but all the current known companions as not being a good fit for her #4. I don't think she would look at any of them and say: 'This person would stay with me in the city of Baldur's Gate and be totally, completely comfortable and content in a house with bodies in the basement, my skeleton father roaming the halls, and a graveyard right out back.'

Granted, it's still only Act 1/EA, but that's just a real bummer.

[alliwantistowearcomfypants]

I'm not gonna lie, I think mandalorian should have ended at season 2. It just buttoned up so well, and the message was incredible. It was touching and sad. And then, like a month later, it didn't matter. Season 3 was so disappointing to me, and I think a big reason for that is because it lacked that simplicity the first 2 seasons had. The show was just about a damaged man finding his humanity and helping various people along the way. I know that not everyone loved the simplicity, but I think it was the best thing the show had going for it. Star Wars often suffers from stuffing so much crap in the story that it forgets to add character arcs.

The first 2 seasons are super character focused. The plot is so intertwined with Dins' character growth that it doesn't focus on the big picture. But in s3, Din barely has any growth as a character. There's stuff happening left and right, but Din doesn't really have any emotional stakes in it. Him trying to get his mandalorian status back feels hallow because we literally just watched 2 whole seasons of him breaking away from it. One of the biggest character moments for him was taking off his helmet for grogu. He's telling grogu that he matters more. That he would give it all up for him. It's so touching and feels like his character's natural progression. And then we're supposed to care when all of a sudden he wants back into the morally questionable pseudo cult he broke away from for his baby? I don't care! That plot point also resolves itself in like 3 episodes with little to no confluct, so now what. He wants to help Bo Katan. Ok. Why. No idea. He's kinda just there, watching things happen around him. There's no inner conflict or tough decisions he needs to make. His character arc is over, and you can tell the writers didn't know what to do with him.

The show is honestly focused more on bo katan than din. Which, no hate to her, but I'm not here for her. She's treated like a wronged princess, not like a deeply flawed terrorist who saw the error of her ways way too late. She literally aided in getting her planet overrun by crime leaders and sith. And the show just brushes past that. They don't even mention Satine, which could have been a great way to humanize Bo. Have her struggle with the fact that she got her sister killed. Have her wanting to restore mandalor for her sister, who died trying to protect it. It would have been so much more impactful if Bo Katan's motivation was out of guilt for getting her sister killed and planet overrun. She could have slowly opened up about her complicated relationship with her sister. She could have had an obi wan kenobi type arc. Learning the only thing she can do is move forward. Try to right her wrongs. Restore Mandalore in the name of her flawed but deeply devoted sister. I do not understand why they didn't at least touch on Bo's personal ties to the planet. She feels so one dimensional, and they could have easily made her more interesting. Or at least motivating.

My biggest problem with the show is that I didn't really care. I didn't care about Bo Katan's goals or Din's. And I think the biggest reason is because the show forgot to add character moments that tied them to the things they want in a personal way. Also, Din's baptism thing was stupid. Just cut that out entirely. No one wanted that.

[animentality]

Hiya. Little chance you'll see/respond to this, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway. I'm kind of stuck, gender-wise. As a gender-fluid afab person, I kind of know where I want my transition to go, with both T and surgery. The problem is, my very lesbian partner has some squicks about the way I want my transition to go, (namely the clitoromegaly and metoidioplasty.) I haven't talked to her about this yet, because of the squicks. (I know I need to, it's just something I haven't built up to yet.) There's a lot of love in the community for the effects of going on T that I want, which makes me feel good, but knowing my partner would no longer find me attractive because of it is. distressing. This is complicated by the fact that I do sex work, so I'm putting off transition anyway to retain my audience. I know I need to stop letting other people's approval and attraction dictate what I'm doing with my body, but it's money to live off of and I desperately love my partner, (and I'm used to sublimating what I want for others.) I don't know if you have or care to give any advice or response, but even just typing this out and sending it is making me feel better, so thank you <3

I get it, friend.

I really do. You know it's what you want, but you're also afraid of how much it'll change things.

And I don't blame you. There's always comfort in stability and the status quo. holding on to things you've grown so used to having, that you worry you might not be able to survive without them.

But if you know it's what you want- and I think it must be, otherwise would it really be a difficult decision? - then you'll find some peace in knowing that things are never as stable as they seem anyway.

you have to pursue the things that will make you happy in this life. it's the most important thing. sometimes that means choosing something that's harder to do, in the short term, but will bring you peace in the long term.

and yeah, it will be uncomfortable and painful if, or when, your partner no longer finds you attractive because of the transition, but if she really loves you, and cares for you as a person, then she'll support you, even if it's only as a friend. she won't cut you out of her life, if she loves you as much as you love her.

And I know that sounds bad, but the truth is, people are attracted to what they're attracted to. Now that doesn't mean she definitely will lose interest in you, though. Because honestly, I think you definitely need to talk about it, and maybe you'll be surprised.

I have known lesbians who have a few exceptions, just as there are straight people with their own "gay exceptions."

And transition isn't exactly a new practice or anything, but transition surgeries sort of are, in the grand scheme of things. they can be kind of disturbing to people, even supportive people, at first, because surgeries in general are always disturbing.

something primal in us just doesn't like the idea of letting someone else cut into our flesh and rearrange all the parts inside. it's instinctive, i think. but just as you can grow and change, so can other people.

even if they never ever thought about it before.

life is kinda funny like that. you can think you'll never ever do something, but then someone else might come along, someone you desperately want to be with, and then you'll become more than you ever expected you would be. and you'd do it together.

but you definitely need to talk to her. she might surprise you. or she might surprise herself, actually, if you give her the time to consider how it'll change your relationship.

But if she's no longer attracted to you, and if you break up, well, relationships always fall apart when one person wants to stay the same, but the other desires growth, and change. It might seem terrifying, not to have her as a romantic partner, and maybe you're afraid you'll never find someone else, but these things are normal, these things are not as scary as they seem.

All human beings, trans, cis, het, gay, bi, have to deal with the fact that people change and some relationships end. Some people can adapt, and stay together. Some can't.

Some people lose interest in their partners over many, many years, and some people can't stay in relationships with people who become sick, or disfigured, who have horrible injuries that change who they are. Life doesn't go the way you plan, ever.

So you aren't alone in that feeling. And I hope that your community is there to support you too, so that you don't feel alone in this either.

You might consider joining groups, or finding people, who know what it's like to lose partners because of transition, by the way.

It's always good to have a network of support.

Now as for the sex work... listen, I don't know your financial situation. if it makes sense to not transition right now, to put it off so you can pay the bills, have a roof over your head, then you can always wait as long as you need to.

But I wouldn't let that hold you back either.

Financial stability is very important, and being able to pay for food is your first need and all that, but emotional and psychological fulfillment are important too.

so in the future, if you have the money, or maybe find other jobs, or other means of income, then don't let it stop you.

and also, if you enjoy sex work, and you don't want to stop doing it, or having it as an option...you can find another audience.

it might be smaller, and different, and you might have to start from the ground up, but if you already have an audience that makes you good money, then you're resourceful. you're creative.

you can do this. all of this.

but anyway.

my advice to you is...do what you need to do, to make money, but remember that life is primarily about being happy. it can't always be happy, but...the end goal is happiness.

you have to go looking for it, though.

even if it doesn't look the way it used to, that's the grand adventure called living.

thanks for the ask.

always feel free to vent to me, by the way, especially about this, because as a transmac, I get it.

I personally only would want top surgery, but I understand completely the afabs who want to fully transition.

I remember the first time I used my name, and not my deadname...I remember the joy I felt, when my friends started calling me by masculine pronouns...

I couldn't discourage you from seeking the self you were born to be. It's a wonderful feeling, being the person you dreamt of, on those lonely nights where you laid in bed and wondered why you feel so different and alone.

But you aren't alone now.

Good luck, anon.

Hope everything turns out ok, and then I hope the rest of your life is wonderful.

[avelera]

I watched the first episode of Kate Winslet's "The Regime" and had a few thoughts.

First, the good:

- Really excited to see Matthias Schoenaerts (Booker in The Old Guard) in it, so that was already a huge plus.

- Kate Winslet is definitely acting her ass off.

- A lot of worldbuilding and research about dictators both historical and modern definitely went into the script. I could see snippets of many known dictator affectations, like germophobia, on display.

And now the... not exactly bad but the ???:

(Cut because we start to get into some actual spoilers)

I really don't know where the show is trying to go just yet. I can't quite tell if it's a flat out comedy in the style of Death of Stalin, as advertised, or if it's actually going for a deeper dramedy where we're supposed to feel some level of pathos for Winslet's and Schoenaerts' characters.

Basically, it feels like a fictionalization of a historical dramedy.

However, in Death of Stalin and other dramas and satires based on real historical events, we know where this is all going, to some extent. We can tell if the Bumbling Advisor's advice is, well, bumbling because we know how things are going to turn out.

Right now, in The Regime, we don't have any grounding in reality to be able to determine if the decisions being made are bad or good or simply incompetent and doomed to fail.

We've got a lot subjective view points like the various ministers and Schoenaerts' character to give their perspective on what the country should do next, but we don't have any objective birds eye view, historical knowledge, or even an actual person average person in the this fictional country to tell us what they're really thinking, unfiltered through the subjective POV of all these characters with very pronounced agendas.

In a way, I do consider that quite clever from a writing craft standpoint. I feel just as isolated and wrapped in cotton wool as Winslet's character. Which is part of why I wonder if I'm supposed to sympathize with a figure that, to my eyes, reads like Marine le Pen from a dystopian world where she actually won in France.

As an American, I can't tell whether or not the country turning away from America (who was clearly trying to take advantage, in a cobalt deal that to my ears echoed the British oil interests in Iran at the beginning of the 20th c.) is meant to be seen as a good or a bad thing. Truly. I don't mean that as saying I want or expect America to be the good guy, but I can't tell if I'm relatively anti-American compared to the creator of the show (ie, that America is just assumed to be a good guy so it's meant to be a negative harbinger of bad things to come that they turned away) or relatively pro-American (ie, that it's a show made by non-Americans so by not seeing this as a clear good thing that they reject America using terminology that echoes current Russian rhetoric) and I should be cheering on their choice to turn away.

On the one hand, this ambiguity if intentional is quite masterful! I can't quite tell if I'm supposed to see Schoenaerts as a straight-shooter who is supposed to help this rather hapless dictator maybe achieve some good, or if he's a violent MAGA-type thug who is going to get her ear and put their country down the path to atrocities. I just don't know yet, because this isn't a historical dramedy so I don't know how these events play out.

And I can't tell quite yet if that's a good or a bad thing from the writerly perspective. On the one hand, I'm personally more baffled than intrigued as to why I should care about anything going on in it so far. It's not all that funny, so I'm not entertained or amused just at the nonsense happening, because I can't tell what I'm supposed to see as nonsense and what I'm supposed to see as serious worldbuilding leading towards an actual fictional country narrative that will allow some commentary on our own global situation, or if it's just intrigue for the sake of intrigue, or if it's a character study and I shouldn't care about the actual events in the fictional country because it's the absurdity of the personalities I should be focusing on. Or if I am supposed to be laughing, what aspects I'm supposed to be laughing at.

Basically, it hasn't won my trust yet. I'm mildly intrigued, mostly because of Winslet and Schoenaerts adding complexity to what in a normal satire might just be flat comedic characters. But I can't even really tell yet if the story thinks it's a comedy or if it just has comedic elements (like, say, Succession).

Maybe I'm just basic, but I wouldn't have minded a bit more signposting and a bit less of a feeling that I'm supposed to grasp what point the story is trying to make on its own. I don't really know what the thesis is yet, because it's not based in real events, there's no objective truth for me to look at and say, "Ah, they're saying this historically terrible person was misunderstood, or bumbling, or actually heroic, or well-intentioned," etc etc. I only have their word for it and they haven't actually told me yet what their word is trying to say, y'know?

Verdict: I'll probably watch a bit more, but I am a little perplexed at present as to what the takeaway should be.

[sailor-aviator]

Do you know what? I've been thinking and I am really interested in how you think Jake's shopping for clothes with Uncle Walter went. What did they talk about? Did Uncle Walter covertly quiz him to see if he was worthy of Scout and Scout's father's watch, or did he simply want to get to know his future nephew-in-law better? Was Jake nervous the whole way through or did he get more comfortable over time? Did he manage to knock everyone off their feet with his natural charm? Only if you want to answer, don't feel any pressure! Also, I am so, so, so sorry for not saying this before, but congratulations on 500 followers!!!

WOW this has been sitting here forever, but here I am....tackling the 100+ messages in this damn askbox. So, sorry it took me a while to get to this, Nonny! I hope you're still around!

I'll put this below a cut since it's a little long now...

DGU!Jake, my beloved. That boy was SO nervous, okay? He wanted to make a good impression because this was Scout's family we're talking about. The closest thing she has to living parents. They're classy, sophisticated, and born in high society. They're everything Jake isn't, and he knows it. Sure, they've been kind to him since he arrived, but who's to say that isn't for Scout's benefit?

What he doesn't know is that Benji had sent his aunt and uncle letters over the past few months detailing life out west and the inexplicable fascination this young ne'erdowell has with his baby sister. So, Aunt Josephine and Uncle Walter are very familiar with Jake before he even arrives.

I think Uncle Walter was definitely interested in getting to see the type of man Jake is for himself. Scout is like another child to him, so he's very protective over her and wants only the best for her. He was never too keen on Henry, but his late brother-in-law was excited for the match, so he bit his tongue. But now? Well, he saw how Jake and Scout look at each other, and some snot-nosed bully is not going to do no matter how wealthy he is.

Uncle Walter took the reins during their shopping trip, and made note of every time Jake thanked the staff there or moved out of the way for the bustling workers - something none of the high society men in the shop were doing themselves. He also took note of the calluses on Jake's hands, another stark contrast to the softer hands of the elite. Uncle Walter saw the way Jake's eyes drifted towards the fine silks of the scarves and handkerchiefs, something like regret shining in his green eyes as he grimaced. He noticed as a gaggle of young ladies watched him with coy smiles on their lips, the blond man paying them no mind except to nod at them politely.

"Benji tells us you've been hard at work on the ranch," he offers. Jake looks at him, surprise coloring his features before he nods.

"Yes, sir."

"He also tells us that Scout has been hard at work with the chores around the house and barn, as well."

Jake's expression softens at the mention of Walter's niece, a hint of a smile on his lips.

"She works too hard," he replies, turning his attention to the different fabrics. "She'll keel over one day."

"You think she's not capable of hard work?" Walter asks, a hint of amusement in his tone. Jake's eyes widen at his words, his head whipping around to look at the older man as panic fills his features.

"No!" Jake exclaims. "No, that's not what I meant at all. It's just-"

He blows out a breath, running a hand through his short locks.

"She's stubborn, and she doesn't like to ask for help. I know she can do it, but she doesn't need to do it all alone. She shouldn't have to, not if I'm there to help her."

Walter stares at the young man for a moment, letting his words sink in. With his decision made, he claps Jake on the shoulder, putting on a good natured smile.

"Come along," he says, leading the young man towards the counter. "It's time we should be heading back.

[thesinglesjukebox]

KATY PERRY - "WOMAN'S WORLD"

Laughter is not an essential component of satire; in fact, there are types of satire that are not meant to be "funny" at all.

[2.15]

Joshua Lu: The prevailing narrative around Katy Perry has transformed: not just about her being a bad artist making bad music, but also about her being a bad person on top of it all. It's easy to justify every mark. "Woman's World" is dated in concept (empty feminist dribble), sound (plodding synthpop that would fit into any of her past three albums), and execution (scatterbrained music video rationalized via "it's just satire bro"). Choosing Dr. Luke as the song's producer was not only morally questionable but also marketed as her executive decision. There are bad artists who are bad people making bad music and still hugely successful; Katy Perry's inability to join those ranks is weirdly comforting, in almost a cosmic sort of way. [3]

Andrew Karpan: Rarely do songs flop by sounding so purely evil: a collage of bad taste arranged in a way that scans as faintly ominous, weird and off-putting, the sound of a dystopian future nostalgically looking back to the past.  [2]

Alex Clifton: Katy Perry is trying so desperately to have it both ways, and it muddies the message she wants to send. If we are to take “Woman’s World” as earnest, the song might’ve fueled teen feminist awakenings back in 2011 but now comes across so dated. If we are to take it as satire, then it’s a disaster as there’s zero bite or personality on display. Say what you will about Taylor Swift and her complicated relationship with feminism (and I will), but at least “The Man” had her fingerprints all over it with a few snarky zingers. There’s nothing in "Woman's World" that I can laugh at (and that’s not even considering the Dr. Luke of it all). I was rooting for Katy, I really was, but someone girlbossed too close to the sun.  [2]

Brad Shoup: A pale stick of factory-engineered cheese, where all the laughs thud and all the flexes result in pulled muscles. Perry used to be one of our very best pop panderers. Now what? [1]

Alfred Soto: Bet some of y'all want to hear her Kate Bush cover. [4]

Jonathan Bradley: She's a winner, a champion; she's a flower, she's a thorn. She's a bitch, she's a lover, she's a child, she's a mother, she's a sinner, she's a saint. But shouldn't she feel a little ashamed about failing to clear the low bar of discount Dua Lipa? [2]

Nortey Dowuona: Katy's flat, nasal soprano is produced by Kalani Thompson and Ryan OG. Both are experienced hands, but clearly they could only do so much with the take they got. The melody Katy sings in the first verse is so flat and thin that when she ramps into the chorus, she barely resolves the melody, the "it" a jarring cut before the chords resolve. Thompson and Ryan try to multitrack her voice to give it the power it doesn't have -- a trick he's learned from working with Kim Petras and The Kid Laroi, both of whom have weak yet distinctive voices -- but it doesn't work. During the second verse, the multitracked echoes below just remind the listener of the lack of depth in the main vocal, pitch corrected so noticeably that it sounds even more inhuman. Since the first and second verse play the same barely moving melody, there's very little else the producers can do. And while the hook is where their work shines, the abortive chorus and warmed-over chords prevent Katy from selling anything. If only Thompson and OG had a better vocal to work with, or a less rapist producer. [0]

Leah Isobel: I honestly don't feel anything when people work with Luke anymore. Maybe that makes me a bad survivor, or a bad feminist; I'm sure that if I said that on Twitter a bunch of transphobes would immediately jump down my throat and call me a rapist. But it's the truth. If there was a true window for accountability -- and I'm not convinced there was -- it closed when "Say So" hit number 1 and the industry was like, cool, let's toss a bunch of other young women into a room with this guy. Or maybe it closed earlier, when Kesha performed "Praying" at the Grammys and seemed to collapse into herself after the song ended, to which James Corden responded with a blank, ineffectual "Wow" before moving the show along. Maybe it closed even earlier, when Bonnie McKee compared him to the devil and said that "Dr. Luke's deals are famously bad, everyone knows that," but still credited him with launching her career; or maybe it closed when, that same year, "New Rules" became Dua Lipa's breakout hit, earning Luke's publishing arm money via the songwriter Emily Warren. Maybe it was earlier than that, when Max Martin took Luke under his wing and made some of the most beloved pop hits of the form now known as "recession pop." But honestly, it was probably earlier: when capitalism took the place of feudalism, when some British guys sailed across the Atlantic Ocean and established a society built on the exploitation of people and nature, when the music industry was built off of vaudeville and the systems of domination it valorized. When artists choose to work with Luke, they are thinking like record executives; they are often rewarded. (Quoth the prophet: "As long as everybody getting paid, right?/ Everything gonna be okay, right?") Kim Petras is the first openly transgender woman to have a #1 single, and she only got there because she signed a contract with Luke. Nicki Minaj earned her first solo #1 with "Super Freaky Girl," a Luke production. Joy Oladokun performed at the fucking White House. That's not to excuse Katy's decision, but to say that these kinds of decisions are often papered over as "compromises" instead of sacrifices. This single's anodyne synths and bland, dated uplift smack of sacrifice. Any interesting perspective is filtered out of the song and redirected toward the video, with its blunt satire and strange pops of body horror. (If I had a nickel for every time a Katy Perry video's visual metaphors made me wince, I'd have two nickels, etc.) The oddity of the whole package suggests a certain helplessness in the face of doom. If it is truly a woman's world, it's in the sense of Andrea Long Chu's edgelordy Females: "The self is sacrificed to make room for the desires of another." [3]

Aaron Bergstrom: If the erstwhile Katy Hudson never actually broke with her fundamentalist evangelical upbringing and has in fact been working as a deep cover operative trying to discredit godless feminism and destroy it from the inside, how would that look any different from what she's doing now? [1]

Jackie Powell: Katy Perry is doing a lot. She’s doing too much. She’s straddling trying to be relevant, putting out an earworm, honoring her on-brand silliness that worked over 10 years ago, all while attempting to embody the current moment where rights in America are being taken away. “Woman’s World” has been discussed alongside “Chained to the Rhythm,” which Perry put out after Donald Trump was inaugurated, but while "Chained to the Rhythm" wasn't great, it at least had some sort of message and substance. “Woman’s World” doesn’t answer why this is a woman’s world that we’re living in. It is just a list of adjectives. There’s an argument to be made that Perry is still functioning in a pre-November 8, 2016 world where Hillary Rodham Clinton was trying to make history but was too polished, calculated and apologetic to do so. But the name of the game in 2024 is being unapologetic, a little silly, and authentic. That’s why Kamala is Brat and not living in whatever suffocating universe Perry is in -- I can tell you she's not living on Chromatica, amid all of the comparisons to Lady Gaga’s “Stupid Love”. There’s one mashup on YouTube where Perry’s “Woman’s World” vocal is smashed on top of the Gaga “Stupid Love” instrumental, and the chord progressions and family of synths are indeed similar. But as usual with a Lady Gaga song, "Stupid Love" had more dissonant sounds that gave the track some intrigue and punch. I’m a firm believer in the concept that being an artist involves a certain amount of thievery. But instead of stealing like an artist—there’s a book written about that—Perry is stealing like a manufacturer or corporate bigwig without a soul, just like the incredibly flawed person who produced the track.  [3]

Katherine St. Asaph: It feels reductive. [5]

Hannah Jocelyn: There’s no incentive besides the moral one to side with the abused, and who needs morals, especially when the abuser and their enablers are this powerful? That’s why Dr. Luke came back, and why he never left, depending on who you ask. Katy sounds good here (we��re not in straining “Daisies” territory anymore), and the beat is serviceably in-your-face and refreshingly loud. If this wasn’t Luke, I wouldn’t really care about it. In any other context, I'd even like the chorus line “we ain’t going away”; post-Roe it reads as hope that societal progress won’t be entirely reversed to the '50s and/or before. But if we are, in fact, “going away,” that’s partly because of power-hungry, entitled men much like Lukasz Gottwald. It's a predator's world, always has been and maybe always will be; he's lucky to be living in it, and Katy Perry’s happy to enable it. Neat harmonies on the word “celebrate," though.  [3]

Ian Mathers: We live in the stupidest fucking dystopia, don't we? [4]

Will Adams: A failure of a lead pop single by almost every conceivable metric (sonically: uninspired; lyrically: dated; visually: contradictory; contextually: yikes), "Woman's World" deserved its intense backlash from the moment its ill-fated snippet dropped. But the dust has settled, and my impression of the song now is mostly boredom and mild fascination. It is beyond me why Perry, whose career-long brand has been cartoonish kitsch -- sharks, furniture, toilets, oh my! -- thinks she's at all equipped to deliver message music. And this was after Witness. [3]

Isabel Cole: Sometimes I feel bad for hating so thoroughly on Katy Perry, America's living embodiment of what the Madonna/whore complex does to a mf, for having not one real thought in her big empty brain, but then she'll do something like reuniting with Luke in a pathetic attempt to rewind the clock back to when the two of them were still relevant. The lyrics are giving something between "Olympics-themed sportswear ad" and "studio exec who has never had a conversation with a woman his own age discussing his vision for a female superhero project." There are pop stars in the world who can take dumb lines and make them sound like they mean something, but possibly nobody is less suited to that task than Katy Perry, whose musical identity, insofar as she has ever had one, has mostly rested on taking dumb lines and making them sound even dumber. It's not just that her voice is grating, or that she's never once in her career displayed any kind of musical intuition or finesse or really any quality one might associate with an ostensible professional singer beyond "loud"; it's that she sings like she's doing a bit. On something gleefully stupid like "California Gurls," that served her well, or at least decently: it's camp! On a song pretending at genuine sentiment -- well, arguably it's also camp, in Sontag's formulation of "failed seriousness," but it's mostly just annoying. Luke, too, apparently has had not one single idea in the decade and a half since Teenage Dream, or else maybe he thought that putting out a track that would slot neatly onto the back half of that album would subliminally fool us into thinking it was 2010 again. But it's not, and rather than nostalgia the utter banality of the sound invites incredulity: was it really worth it, for this? [0]

Taylor Alatorre: "If we ended all collaboration with Dr. Luke tomorrow – and I will, if he deserves it, if the allegations against him are proven in a court of law – would that end sexism? (Crowd: No!) Would that end toxic masculinity? (Crowd: No!) Would that end record industry gatekeeping against mold-breaking female artists? (Crowd: No!) Would that protect other artists from those predators and abusers whose careers have continued unscathed? (Crowd: No!) Would that make the public any more receptive toward a stubbornly dated electropop stomper that misidentifies ‘girl power’ as a key ingredient of Teenage Dream's success, but whose uncompromising Moroder pulse and surprisingly diva-esque vocal turn are almost enough to override its intrinsic cheugy-ness? (Crowd: confused murmurs, smattering of applause)" [4]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: I can’t write anything more clever or devastating than what the internet has already written. Katy Perry has been so completely and rightfully been savaged—for her aesthetic, singing, taste, and existence—that I almost feel sympathetic toward her. Just not quite.  [0]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Defies even post-post-ironic enjoyment — no thinkpiece, no stannish counterfactual interpretation, no attempt to toss this into a running playlist or daily mix will survive exposure to this complete void. It's hard to even discern what she was trying to do here. [1]

Will Rivitz: Was she satirizing chart success too? [2]

Kayla Beardslee: I want to weigh in with my score, but everyone has already roasted this song so thoroughly, I don’t have anything left to say. Just like Katy Perry! [0]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[ambrosiagourmet]

Feel free to ignore this, but I love reading your analysis and was wondering how you start analyzing things? I try to do it myself but I always feel so unconfident in my interpretations and feel scared about posting about them and them being “wrong.”

Just curious to see how you approach your analysis and meta! Have a lovely day!

Ooh, what a good question! I'm happy to share a little, sure.

Under the cut bc it got long hehe 😅

So my first (and probably the most important) response to this is: it's hard to feel 100% sure that you are totally "correct" about this stuff.

There are always going to be other ways to interpret things. There are things you miss, or perspectives you don't consider. There will always be people who disagree. And even if you are as accurate and totally convincing as humanly possible, there always going to be different types of analysis that you can't cover all at the same time!

I think, especially when it comes to like, doing casual analysis for something you love, it really helps to just follow your passion. It's fine to speak confidently about an interpretation that you find compelling, even if you haven't considered every possible angle of how it could be wrong. It's about what speaks to you, after all.

For instance, the conflict-avoidant Falin post (which is currently the analysis post of mine with the most notes) was largely born from an interpretation of Falin that really resonated with me, based on a couple of points I remembered strongly from reading the story. It's definitely not the only way to look at Falin, and I don't think it's like the universally correct interpretation of her character. But it is the interpretation that got ME interested in talking about her, and in turn, resonated with other people, too!

I have plenty of anxiety about this stuff, so I won't pretend that it's just easy to turn off that "what if I'm wrong, though" part of your brain, but I will say it doesn't hurt to try to start writing. You can always draft a post and come back to it, or delete/private it, or reblog it later to add more context or nuance. You aren't shackled to your opinion forever, much as the internet (and anxiety) can make it feel that way.

As to where to actually start with analysis... for me, it's almost always either a detail, a question, or both.

Here's an example of an Idea In Progress I've been thinking about.

While I was grabbing screenshots from the Nightmare chapter, I noticed that Marcille's hairstyle there is similar to one of the chapter covers I'd also just looked at:

So like, that's interesting to me! Especially since the cover was from the chapter where Marcille makes her deal with the Winged Lion. So then I can start to ask like... what does it mean that there's this similarity? I could tie it in to the way I think the Lion kind of infantilizes her, talk about what influence the Nightmare chapter might have had on Marcilles decision. Alternatively, I could ask, are there any other similar times Marcille wears this hairstyle? Any other hairstyles that are repeated at key times?

Any of which could lead to some fun analysis! Alternatively, it can also just be fun to post about the detail without the analysis. Just be like, "hey, look at this weird thing." Other people might chime in with ideas about it, or maybe it will sparks something for you later! Either way, you'll have an easy reference saved for reference. Even if deeper analysis doesn't come, it's still fun to have pointed out. Details and connections are just. They are just great. And Dunmeshi especially has SO much to dig into.

(Oh, also, quick aside here: ignore anyone who tells you the details don't matter and weren't intentional. It fully does not matter. If drawing a connection helps you realize a new meaning in the story - if it inspires and motivates you - it's worth investigating.)

Anyway, the Adventurer's Bible is also a great place to find details to jump off of. The timelines and little blurbs highlight important events or facts about the characters, and you can then go fishing for other times those things come up or are referenced in the story.

In terms of starting from a question, it can also be fun just to spend a little time with something you don't feel like you totally got. I had a great time doing that with the succubus chapter, for instance. If there's a scene you find yourself kind of skimming over because its not clicking for you... go back and try and examine it! Even if it's just a small thing - an expression you missed or a panel with a funny little joke - it can be just as rewarding to try and pay attention to the parts of the story you don't understand as it is to dig into the parts you do.

~

Really, in a lot of ways, I like to use analysis as an excuse to just spend time with a story I care about. It's a way to savor it! And if you can write up those thoughts and ideas, you can share them with others, which can be even better. A dish doesn't have to be perfectly cooked to delicious, after all. Go, with Senshi's blessing, and make good food.

And of course, as with all things creative, never forget about Two Cakes:

[stoopid-turtle]

made-up mbti types for dd and gg

So the GQ event that dd attended recently (you know, the one with the love hat) was supposedly gonna share his MBTI type with us. I don't think they ever did, probably because dd just didn't do the test thing. I'm not surprised we never got to see his mbti type, but I did have my own guess as to what he'd score, so I figured I'd share here.

(As a note, MBTI is pretty much junk science but it's fun. Just don't take it too seriously. I used to be really into it in a fannish sense and it's the closest I get to woo-stuff. If you don't know what MBTI is, here have fun.)

Cut to the chase: I'd guess dd is ISFP. My reasoning below the cut.

Introvert - The best way I've found to describe the difference is that introverts recharge by being alone. That is, a weekend full of social engagements is something they need some alone-time after. For an extrovert, social events, themselves, recharge them. Being alone is what's exhausting and what they try to avoid.

DD's probably rarely fully alone, given his busy schedule and the life of a celebrity. But introverts have ways to introverting, even among a bunch of people. I think sometimes people conflate "introvert" to mean "shy", but they're not the same. I don't think dd is particularly shy. It's just all about where your energy comes from.

Sensing - This one is about how you process information.

As an illustration, my bff and I were on a road trip once. She's the type who liked to literally pull over a smell the freaking flowers. And she could name every single flower/plant/tree she came across. Her eye for detail and ability to describe things with precision is always boggling to me, because to me, the most I can say is something like "It was sunny and the trees are green". Very vague. All about the overall impression rather than the details.

In MBTI terms, my bff would be Sensing while I'm Intuition (this is the N. Just go with it). Intuition folks are thought of as the big picture, abstract thinkers while Sensing is about the details and about the Facts of the World.

I mentioned before that dd strikes me as a pretty literal thinker, and that type of thinking overlaps with Sensing more than Intuition.

Feeling - People get confused by this one. It's not about whether the person expresses emotions or anything like that. It's about decision-making. When making a choice, does this person weigh the pros and cons? Try to come to a reasonable and sound decision? Or do they go by gut, following their emotions like animes tell them to?

This is hard to assess because we don't know much about how dd goes about making the decisions he makes. We don't know what went into his decision to go into idol training, say, or why he put his hat in the ring for The Untamed.

I'm making a guess that he's more driven by emotion than thinking. This isn't to say he acts blindly without any thought or that he never makes rational decisions, but he weighs his feelings highly. He'll pursue a gay romantic relationship with another celebrity, despite the risks, because he's in love and, you know, he follows his heart. His decision to submit his headshot for The Untamed, especially, strikes me as being Feeling-driven. Given his career at the time, acting in a BL adaptation was off the beaten path and risky. He lost fans because of it.

I think both gg and dd make a feelings-based decision to drop candies for turtles. There's no rational business case to do so. It's simply because they value having a group of fans who recognize them as a couple and they want to keep those fans with them.

Perceiving - This one's about how you plan or organize your time (or don't).

Judgers are the type to have a planner with a set schedule a routine. They have trouble adapting when their schedule gets disrupted. Perceivers are more go with the flow, able to take things as they come. When taking vacays, they would rather not have a packed itinerary bc they want the freedom to go where the moment takes them.

This is also something I don't feel I have a lot of insight on. DD's schedule is heavily managed and heavily packed, and he spends most of his time diligently following along with that schedule. That's part of his job, though. On his own, would he be inclined to keep to a schedule? I kinda don't think so.

I'm just going based on his...um...general chaotic energy. That and his tendency to do his KPI social media posts all at the last minute. Classic Perceiver move.

***

So, ISFP. In truth, each of these traits is a spectrum and people show examples all along the different traits at different times (for instance, dd's decision-making in SDC is typically strategic rather than based on feelings). Most things are based on context. But this feels right to me, overall.

For gg, I haven't watched near as much of him as I have of dd, but a guess would be INFJ.

Feel free to share your own ideas. Or squee about the love hat. Whatever. 🐢🐢🐢

[notyour-valentine]

Hi! Congratulations! Would you please write headcanon about Tommy from TBITW showing affection to (Y/N) when they officialy became a couple? We know he is not the most affectionate person in the world but he has his ways and it's usually sweet and heartwarming. I'm also curious how children would react to them showing their feelings/affections to one another. I mean in the series they didn't do it in front of them, they didn't kiss or anything like that. I have a feeling like Charlie would be a little bit jealous of his father being too close physically to (Y/N). I don't know, I would like to know how you see this. Thank you so much for your writing!

🍷Join me for a Drink 🍷 - TBITW: Reaction to PDA

[Celebration] [Celebration Masterlist] [Masterlist]

This was written as part of my Series The Boy in the Window and contains spoilers

There isn’t some kind of big cataclysmic shift after their return from France, after all, they are already living together and very little changes in their daily routine for the children. Tommy goes back to work and is away for most of the day during the week. (Y/N) and him are also not the type of people who make out at the front door when he returns. Instead, there are far more kisses on cheeks and long embraces, especially after yet another hard, long day. So all in all these moments, even with the added frequency of her running her hand through his hair or them sitting closer on the sofas, it isn’t too far from what the children had gotten used to. 

Until it comes to sleeping arrangements. 

A house like Arrow House has two grand bedrooms, one for the owner of the House and a separate one for his wife, as aristocratic couples tended to sleep apart. Tommy used to share the Grand Bedroom with Grace. He gave the other one, the one closest to the nursery, to (Y/N) when the children moved back upstairs. So once they had made their decision, Tommy changes bedrooms to be with her. 

Both children, whenever they wake up at night, had a tendency to sneak into her bed just like they had back in Small Heath or Warburton House. 

That is when they both begin to notice Tommy’s constant presence (to be fair, it is difficult to miss). 

And Charlie isn’t too keen on that. The children know they can come for nightmares, but that they should try to sleep in their own beds, so he doesn’t understand why his father gets to sleep in her bed every night - it’s simply unfair. 

So he tries to push in, not at nighttime, but during the day. When he sees the two sitting on the sofa together, he will snuggle right in between them, drawing his legs up for extra measure before leaning his head in her lap, or insisting on holding her hand too if he sees his father doing it. 

He doesn’t understand why Emma isn’t bothered by it- isn’t she scared that she might one day not have enough hugs and kisses left for all of them if his father keeps taking up all of them?

It is Emma who tells her mother of Charlie’s concern, which is both a cause for relief and worry. Obviously, both her and Tommy knew something was off with Charlie, and knowing it wasn’t something irreparable removed a certain cause for anxiety but both felt incredibly bad for letting Charlie think that way. Tommy wanted to speak to him at once, but it is (Y/N) who does. 

She finds Charlie and the two of them curl up on the sofa together with him laying down on her chest and her arms wrapped around him. 

Charlie doesn’t really want to talk about all these very strong feelings, the anger and the fear, but he does listen. He listens closely while (Y/N) explained that there were different kinds of love that could happen at the same time and that love, like hugs and kisses, wasn’t like a cake that gets cut up and given away never to return but something one can give as much away as one wanted to and that there would always be enough left, like fruit on a tree that kept growing back.

“Nothing is going to make me love you any less, Charlie, and there will always be enough hugs and kisses for you.”

He is very clingy for the next few days, but no longer tries to squeeze in between her and his father. He is afraid of everything he has, everything he didn’t have before, slipping away. But trust, like that sense of security, comes in time. So instead of stopping his father from all the hugs and kisses, he just runs to claim and give some of his own. 

Bonus fact:

Jealously and perhaps even possessiveness turns into protectiveness with age and that never ceases.  

Thank you so much for participating in my celebration - I hope you like it.

If you want to join in, click here to find out everything you need to know!

~

Taglist

Overall

@lilyrachelcassidy @jyessaminereads @chlorrox @watercolorskyy @books-livre @quarterpastmidnight  @lilyevanswhore  @polishcrazyone  @zablife  @just-a-harmless-patato  @stevie75 @flyingjosephine-blog @runnning-outof-time @babayaga67

Tommy

@knowledgefulbutterfly @babayaga67 @signorellisantichrist 

@lespendy @geeksareunique @look-at-the-soul

[finnglas]

gonna use tumblr like livejournal for a minute, just personal musings under the cut.

I'm so scattered today. I can feel my brain reaching frantically for anything it thinks will give us a little hit of dopamine to combat this horrible feeling of entering the pet-with-cancer gauntlet again. The last time I did this was in 2010 with my heart-cat, and it was fucking awful. I had nightmares for almost a year afterward where I would wake up screaming and crying from dreaming that she hadn't died after all and she'd just been slowly starving to death while I neglected her, or some other equally terrible narrative my subconscious made up out of the guilt of not being able to save her.

I'm hoping that in almost 15 years maybe my subconscious has learned some better coping methods than just torturing all of us.

It also means that I'm questioning any plans that take me away from home, or any decisions to change jobs or... Well, you probably get it. Her first appointment with the oncologist is Thursday, so we'll know more then. Feeling guilty that I have to request time off from work again right after I finally got my requested schedule, but they don't do evaluation appointments on any days I'm already off.

(Just talking out the guilt at this point.)

Anyway. I was going to talk about the projects I want to work on and how I can feel my brain fluttering around them like "maybe this would distract us." Let's see if it does.

I want to finish the final Maya & Grace story and collect them all into a little omnibus that I can do a print run of. Problems: I have to decide where I want them to go. It will also have to be a slightly longer story than the other two-and-a-half to make the collection long enough to print. I also want to revisit/rewrite "Shiver," since I felt like it wasn't ready to publish when I put it out, but I had promised a friend that we would both write Halloween stories that year and then they passed away over the summer, so I felt like I needed to keep that promise somehow. But it needs some finessing.

Night Is For Hunting needs some rewriting too. Basically what got published was my first draft. And that's how I learned that I cannot write to someone else's deadline, even with an extension. I'll have the rights for all three books back in April of next year (April? June?) and would like to celebrate by releasing the Director's Cut of NIFH so that I can get on with the business of writing Wilderness of Horrors.

I wanted to write a thoughtful blog-article type piece on the effect of economic class on my choice of narratives. I realized that I write a lot of stories about people's complicated relationships with their hometowns - wanting to leave, but also not feeling confident in where they're going. I read an advice book once that was like, "What does your character want?" and the answer to almost all of them was "To get out," and it really comes back to the fact that I write small town, working class characters as a default. And when you're from a small town in an economically depressed area, you understand from the start that there's not a bright future for you there. You can graduate high school and get a job at the 7/11 or the Piggly Wiggly and get married to one of your old classmates and have kids that you don't have the time, attention, or money to care for -- or you can leave. You can go to a bigger town with more opportunity and people you don't already know. And you might end up worse, but hey, the dice are there for you to roll. Add to that if you're queer or neurodivergent, especially in a time before the internet, and whew buddy! You've heard that all authors just write the same stories over and over? That's the one I keep writing. I guess because it's mine, in a lot of ways.

Blackthorn is languishing thanks to all the stress and stuff but it was going so well and I really want to finish writing it before I focus on the rewrite projects (there are three). But the rewrite projects are so seductive because lmao they're already written. I just have to fix them. And I'm so much better at fixing them.

All right. clawed myself out of the worst of the abyss for now.

[softpine]

holy shit that was incredible 🧎 as usual right after reading one of ur posts i'm craving a LOT of bts info. how did u decide who would be the closest to which until dawn character? were there any choices u went back and forth on? how are u so talented? are there any hidden easter eggs? how do u think their relationships would change in the following months?

the edits are beyond stunning, i've been staring at the portraits for so long and i'm gonna reread the whole thing tmrw in case i missed smtn <3

ahhh thank you!!! i'm so happy you liked it 🥺💖

so the thing is, i'm like. wildly hyperfixating on until dawn right now and i decided to platinum the game, which involves replaying it at least 3 times (in my case it took 6 because i'm bad at gaming lol) so i had a ton of time to think about this AU while i was watching the same unskippable cut-scenes over and over. the first thing i thought was "haha i also have a character named matt who's kind of a pushover" and the rest is history :')

characters

Josh = Finn: i knew i couldn't have an actual josh in this case because none of my characters would do exactly what he did, but the core elements of josh are already in finn: he was wronged by the people in his life he trusted the most, he lashes out when he feels strong emotions, and he's really just scared and lonely underneath it all. so then i thought, what if josh's fake ghost antics were an actual ghost? and who's better for that role than finn? however, his parents are definitely not rich, so the lodge couldn't belong to his family. that's why i decided to make it a larger hunting lodge where all kinds of hunters would come together. also did you notice how i didn't even tell you who killed finn in the AU because no spoilers :P

Sam = Asa: i actually don't care for sam tbh but she's the obvious leader of the group, the level-headed one, the angel on your shoulder. asa can be impulsive at times (especially in regards to finn) but he's still the person i would choose to be at my my side during a crisis. his parents are the only ones with money, so it makes sense for danny to purchase the lodge without visiting it himself. sam is also compassionate to josh and has somewhat of a romantic thing going on with him if you read it that way, so that fits for asa and finn.

Jessica = Elaine: jess (best girl!!!!!) is the first person with the possibility of dying, and her death/injury is the catalyst for multiple characters future decisions, so her equivalent had to be someone who's also strongly connected to numerous others. so elaine is perfect! she's also the only person of my group who i can imagine storming outside in the snow in her underwear to give her friends a piece of her mind fjskjds but she also has enough strength of character & resilience to make it realistic that she might survive so many injuries.

Mike = Austin: this felt like a no-brainer because austin already has knowledge about guns, he's fearless, and if elaine got hurt, austin would go fucking ballistic. he stops caring about his own survival and starts making brash, unwise choices. but that's where the similarities end, because i actually really hate mike and i feel bad comparing austin to him lmao. say what you will about austin, but he would never try to talk his way into having sex with a girl who literally says "i'm just not feeling it". i hate mike 😒

Chris = Stevie: now hear me out!! at first glance you might think stevie would be ashley. they cry a lot, they look to others for guidance, and they even look alike. but stevie strikes me as much more of a chris type, being that chris was never meant to be the hero. he's a goofy nerd who tells jokes when he's nervous and screams his head off any time he has to do something brave. and that's exactly what stevie's role in this AU is. despite her nature, she's making brave decisions for the benefit of her friends. (but this pic did remind me of ashley)

Matt = Matt: he's kinda just..... here. he cracks some jokes, he can either diffuse or encourage arguments, he plays second fiddle to his girlfriend most of the time. he tries to be the hero but fails miserably. but he has a good heart and he almost never does anything controversial.

Alisa = Ashley: alisa is WAY less outwardly emotional than ashley, but she has the same chaotic, contradictory nature. she cares about people, but she's also capable of coldly letting others die to save herself. she's good at making others feel protective of her even if she doesn't need protecting. she's VERY curious.

Jada = Emily: listen emily just doesn't fit with any of my characters even though i love her so much. but jada does share her determination in the face of fear, her will to survive at any cost, and the way she has the capability to soften up and be really sweet under the right circumstances. they're both much more resourceful and capable than you would initially think. but jada is more likely to follow others' guidance than make plans herself.

other stuff!

for the safe room scene, i thought it would be more interesting if it was the archetypal heroic boyfriend who was bitten and the archetypal damsel in distress who holds his fate in her hands. but there is no way in hell that austin would just sit there and let someone shoot him. when he takes alisa hostage, it almost makes it easier to shoot him; if he were pleading for his life, jada would never pull the trigger, no matter how much alisa told her to. but since he puts himself in the position of the aggressor (the exact thing they feared he would do) it becomes a more believable dilemma. of course, we learn later that the bite is not infectious and austin never would've turned, but none of them know that yet. even austin doesn't know. this scene in the game is extremely horrifying to me so i hope i did it justice in my AU too!

i said this in the replies too, but: the playthrough i envisioned with the stats and pictures makes these major choices: elaine initially survives the mine, matt dies by the rope, stevie's leg is fine, jada shoots austin (why she's covered in blood in her portrait), jada & alisa die in the explosion, stevie rescues elaine, and finn saves asa!

imagine the lantern is doing this shit the whole time LMAOO

the swiss army knife in my AU basically has the same function as the flare gun in until dawn. if matt doesn't have it, he'll die. but if emily doesn't have it, she'll only be bitten. but getting the flare gun into the right hands is sooo convoluted so i had to simplify it for our purposes.

butterfly effects

i didn't include these because i was trying to keep things brief, but here's some of the other ideas i had:

if elaine & austin's relationship drops too low before they arrive at the guest cabin, then elaine won't kiss him and will go outside to look for her phone against his wishes. that's where she would be taken by the creature instead.

if jada and alisa don't find enough clues about finn's disappearance, then they will not recognize finn when they find his remains. this makes finn less likely to protect them later in the night.

if jada shot austin and her relationship with alisa is HIGH, then alisa will give herself injuries on her face to help corroborate their self defense story. if jada shot austin and her relationship with alisa is LOW, then alisa will be fascinated and say "i didn't know you had it in you..." but will not offer to corroborate the story. in both scenarios, alisa will then say she doesn't want to sit around with austin's body. jada will have the option of leaving with alisa or staying inside the safe room. jada can say no (alisa might survive, jada dies), or yes (they both might survive). or if they have a high relationship, she can convince alisa to stay too (they both die).

if matt survives the attack in the mines, then stevie's leg will be injured because she didn't have the knife, meaning she arrives much later to rescue elaine/matt. so if elaine is still alive, matt can find her in the mines and they have a conversation. they will both be impressed by each other's survival, and elaine will feel bad that matt is only in the mines because of her. she asks where austin is, but matt has no idea. then stevie shows up and the rest plays out as described!

after dawn

so obviously their relationships would vary wildly depending on who survives and what choices they made to get there.

in an everyone survives playthrough, austin and elaine would break up soon after the events of the game. if you notice, elaine's perception of austin went down a lot because austin didn't try to save her after she fell down the elevator. she felt abandoned by him when he was the most physically capable & experienced person who could have saved her, but instead it was her injured best friend who never gave up on her. so they're done lol. stevie and matt would break up amicably (for reasons unrelated to the night in question) and remain friends, because how could they not? as for alisa, she doesn't talk to any of them anymore. she was only ever close with jada in the first place, but after jada refused to shoot austin, she lost all trust in her. after finn's remains are found, his spirit is no longer chained to the lodge and he's able to join asa at home. this version of finn is like a normal ghost in that he can appear to anyone he wants. he becomes close friends with all of asa's friends, especially stevie. and then... a few years later... a family called the washingtons purchases the property for their kids (josh, beth, and hannah) to throw parties in. just kidding sjfkjsd sole survivor playthrough: with the outline i laid out, there's actually no way for each of them to be the sole survivor because i had to cut so much out for brevity (i know it doesn't seem like it lol). but it's possible for asa, stevie, elaine, or matt to be sole survivors. the most heartbreaking is probably stevie, who would've had to see matt's decapitated head, heard the lodge blow up with asa, jada, alisa, and austin inside, then watch elaine die right in front of her. so that's super fucked and i don't want to think about that anymore!! asa being the sole survivor makes the most sense logically, because he has finn to protect him for most of it. elaine or matt being the sole survivor would be if one of them dies early in the game and then stevie dies trying to help elaine/matt escape. in any case, i don't think all the therapy in the world could cure that amount of survivor's guilt... everyone dies playthrough: the group become ghosts who haunt the mountain. finn's body is never recovered because no one is alive to report it to the police, so he is never at peace either. danny still owns the property, so he destroys the cable car and builds a giant electrified fence so that, hopefully, no human will ever return to the cursed mountain. i can't even / don't want to imagine how any of their parents would be able to move on after such a tragedy, it makes me genuinely sad to think about :( everybody dies playthroughs are all fun and games until you think about what comes after 😭

ANYWAY THAT'S ALL!! thank you so much for indulging my frankly rabid brain fjskdjs i know i keep saying it, but until dawn is my most confusing obsession because i first played the game in 2015 and i wasn't a fan; i thought the characters were annoying and the gameplay was lacking. but a few months ago i randomly decided to watch a playthrough of the quarry and that made me want to give until dawn another chance, and now...... yeah. idk what happened here but now it's all i can think about lmao. but being able to talk about the game with other people is sooo fun and i'm really happy i did this!! 💖

[rockanroller]

The animation was pretty good, the one thing that bugged me to no end were charlie and vaggies bangs they were really distracting and just off character models but the animators put their all, the camera and editing isn’t good. BG/props/color keys were great but too great like it eat the characters up so much, not even Scott pilgrim or castlevania nocturne had this problem Voice acting was ok. Erika is the best thus far Alastor and nifty are alright, Vaggie Angel and husk were rough, Vaggie just sounds dead, Angel goes from sounding like a nasally teenager to trying to sound like Michael, and Keith doesn’t fit husk. They dropped a new clip of husk and Angel. You can hear Kieth David more and he drops the gruff and sticks with his smooth voice and it doesn’t work with Husk. I know people are tired of hearing this but Keith voice doesn’t fit Husk.

Vox and Vel were really good. I thought adam was bad (he is he’s really bad) but man Valentino is terrible, he’s not menacing, he’s keeping changing accents and he’s voices cracks so much it’s funny but also sad I can’t take him seriously he’s such a joke. This was the guy everyone was hyping up on the crew and fanart? People were saying the dialogue sheets they got leaked were old, they were not old, some of the stuff that was on that sheet made to the Final Cut except worse somehow.

people were saying sir pent new va was good and I heavily disagree he sounds worse than the pilot VA. I couldn’t stand his voice.

agreed on the animation/bg/props/color remarks. especially how Charlie & Vaggie's bangs were distracting, they really were especially when it seems like it was such a struggle keeping them on-model making it even more distracting. for the voice acting it's really interesting to me seeing so many different takes on the VA's various performances.

i do think having many of the fans so enthralled with the pilot, hearing voices that are different is jarring, especially if they don't feel like they add up to or match the previous voices' performances or tones. replacing the cast was a really iffy decision and many are insistent it never should've happened while others feel there "had" to have been *some* reason for it. and of course replacing pilots casts isn't unheard of--Billy West voiced Zim in the IZ Pilot episode and we all know that changed, and Richard Horvitz knocked it out of the park and made Zim into an extremely memorable character for many.

but i won't deny there are some obvious weaknesses. these are my personal takes on the voice acting, and you may disagree:

-Charlie was fine, in some points very good, fun execution. the only thing i wasn't a fan of was the "voice breaking about to cry bc this story i'm reading is just so sad" moments she had while reading the "creation story" at the beginning of the first episode, made me cringe. and i do agree with others who've said her cussing felt out of place. (some were fine/ok enough, but others weren't) -Vaggie was...weird, it felt like her voice didn't match, but i got used to it. tho i agree with what some have said how her voice was "too" low-emotion to the point it was bland. i felt her saying "fuck" in her "what the *FUCK* was that" at Alastor felt forced--later swears were ok--and her duetted line in Charlie's Happy Day In Hell song sounded so off that it startled me. -Angel Dust was in and out--his first few lines were *very* rough. voice was all over and cracked in a way that wasn't natural or charming, felt more to me of an "I'm trying too hard to do a specific voice" type of crack/strain. tho i think it either smoothed out or i got used to it bc i didn't notice it the rest of ep 1 or all of ep 2. -Alastor was fine to me. many say they prefer Ed's performance but i haven't seen the pilot since it came out so i'd have to rewatch to say for sure if i feel it's any sort of "downgrade". but i *did* notice, twice, there were lines where they just suddenly dropped his radio filter? that was really weird. it felt like it was supposed to be for...idk...emphasis? like "oh he meant that the filter turned off" but it was just jarring. i also know some feel that they toned down the radio filter too far, but i thought it was okay, and as someone who has a hard time hearing words if they aren't crystal clear, i had a much easier time understanding Alastor in these first 2 episodes than i did in the pilot. -Husk didn't jar me, Keith seemed fine, but again having not seen the pilot in years and Husk having less lines (i think?) i can't remember what Husk originally sounded like. but you're probably right about the gruff getting lost in his lines later. overall it kinda sounded like Keith really enjoyed the cussing and i'm kinda solidly divided on if that made it feel more forced or more natural. -Nifty i *think* was good/decent? she had fewer lines and very brief moments so they went by quickly. -Vox was good, no complaints -Vel was also good, no complaints -Val, like you say, was a mess. right from the get-go his accent was all over the place. it was there, then it wasn't, then another accent was, then it wasn't, then finally several lines later he slipped into this deeper "sexy" accent and i finally was like "oh *that's* what accent it's supposed to be"--he literally would flip-flop between "saucy/menacing voice with an accent" to "flat American voice that's literally just some guy" and it was bewildering. -Adam i loved and i personally feel Alex nailed the lines, i think if anyone else did it he would've been insufferable to me--but i can see how some felt Adam came off badly / too strong. he made me laugh, altho i kinda expect as a character he's going to get worse, it was only his initial appearance that amused me and to reiterate from my last post i lowkey suspect it only made me laugh so much bc the episode so far had already worn me down. -Lute i wanna say was fine but i kinda frankly don't remember. -Sir Pentious was fine to me--really silly--but i again am gonna say i barely remember his pilot voice so i can't say if it's a downgrade to me or not. hearing it w/o remembering what Stamper's performance was like had me feeling like it was a good voice, and he had good moments that made me chuckle. -Katie Killjoy i already mentioned in a previous post but i *really* don't know what they were thinking having Brandon not only voice her but not even do anything unique with it? it was jarring and felt super out-of-place to me. i honestly think his execution was pretty mid as well. i think that's everyone? lmk if i forgot any or you wanna know anything else. and ty for giving me your two cents in the ask!

[promptthebear]

I'm so excited to read your easter askbox game 💞 no pressure but could I please request🐰4, with Tyrion Lannister? 😉 Also, you are one of my absolute favourite game of thrones writers, I hope you are feeling better! 💖 😄

Hello! This is v late, but hopefully you enjoy it all the same! Thank you so much for your kind words, you've got me blushing honestly! I'm doing much better now, and ended up being able to go see my family around the end of April to have a "Easter" dinner of sorts, and I'm supposed to see them again this weekend!

Easter Askbox Event 2023- Tyrion Lannister x Reader

Prompt: “Let’s just kiss and see where it takes us.”

TW: Mentions of drinking/drunkeness, a little bit of dub con between some of the characters, reader!character is tricked into kissing someone, some canon typical misogyny. 2nd person, reader referred to as "you", fem!reader. If I miss anything let me know!

A/N: This is set somewhere in the third book, but like if you squint. Idk, it's a bonfire party and I just wanted everyone to be there, once again I don't give a fuck about canon.

Drinking had been Tyrion’s idea. The game had been Jamie’s.

“It’s simple” he said, with a wide grin “You spin the bottle, and whoever the spout end points to either has to kiss you, tell you a secret or accompany you to that corpse of trees over there. The choice is yours to make. If they forfeit your decision, then you both take a drink.”

You regarded the knight uncertainly, not trusting the glint in his eye or the knowing glance he exchanged with Tyrion. When the two of them were scheming, somehow you always ended up being the one in trouble.

“It’s an amusing enough diversion” Cersi’s tones were as cool and elegant as always despite the bottle and a half of white wine you’d watched her consume moments before. “Unless anyone wishes to protest?”

This was directed at you, with a gaze so sharp you could almost feel it cut against your cheek. You gulped, and took a small sip of your watered down ale before shaking your head. Those around you did the same, regardless of their true thoughts on the matter. An evening of mild discomfort or embarrassment was nothing against the wrath of the Queen.

Since the whole thing was Jamie’s suggestion, he went first. He spun the bottle with an easy sort of confidence, as though he couldn’t give a shit where it ended up. The way the firelight cast shadows upon his skin made your breath catch in your throat. As one of Cersi’s ladies, you only knew the man in passing, but there was no denying he was handsome. A kiss from him would make you the envy of many maidens across the kingdom, provided that was all he wanted. While members of the kingsguard swore vows prohibiting them to father children, Jamie also never really struck you as the type to be mindful of any rules but his own.

A series of hoots and jeers went around the circle when the bottle’s smooth arc finally reached it’s end…pointing at none other than Brienne of Tarth. The maid blushed crimson, her wide scowl doing few favours for her already homely face. Jamie seemed to smile even wider just to spite her, pushing himself to his knees so he could lean across the circle to reach her.

“Well, my fair lady” he proclaimed, clearly taking some joy from Brienne’s obvious discomfort “I shall give you a kiss, for it is like to be the only one you’ll ever have!”

Brienne seemed as though she was going to protest, but Jamie was too quick. Before she could react, Jamie had grabbed hold of the back of her neck and pulled her mouth to meet his. Brienne wriggled free in seconds, redder than before and clearly furious. She lashed blindly out at Jamie, the flat of her palm making contact with his chest in a shove that knocked him back on his ass. The knight roared with laughter, head thrown back and chest heaving. The crowd around you did the same, happy not to be the butt of the joke.

“Fool!” Brienne managed to sputter out, before rising to her feet and turning to leave. She stormed off without a glance back, most likely too embarrassed to even consider it. You made to follow her, knowing Jamie had been much too cruel to the poor girl, but another glare from Cersi kept you seated on the grass.

As the evening went on and the moon rose, kisses and bawdy comments began to flow as freely amongst the group as the wine. The bottle had landed on you more than once, though those on its receiving end had not asked much of you. Sansa Stark had blushed prettily when you’d kissed her on the forehead, though more likely from the stout red Tyrion had poured her rather than anything else.

Bronn of Blackwater had also asked for a kiss, and then turned his head at the last second so you caught his mouth instead of his cheek as you had planned. He’d been much rougher with you than you’d liked, biting at your lips and forcing them open with his tongue before you managed to get free of him. Those spectating seemed to love this as much as they had Brienne’s torment, cheering for Bronn and admonishing you when you’d slapped him for his insolence.

“Well, now you’ve gone and hurt my feelings” the sellsword said, though his broad grin seemed to suggest he wasn’t hurt in the least. You were grateful when a maid with Tully hair and brazen eyes asked him to accompany her into the woods. Based on the way they’d been looking at each other, they were not like to return any time soon, which at least saved you from being paired off with Bronn again.

When Oberyn Martell’s turn came around, you found yourself staring at him down the bottle’s end. Immediately, your heart went to your throat and you held your cup in a white knuckled grip, the forfeit waiting on your tongue no matter his request. It was not that you feared the man, so much as the rumours of his prowess. A thousand lifetimes of lovers would not have prepared you for even an hour in his company.

“Tell us a secret, pretty one.”

He, and the woman tucked beneath his arm, stared at you with matching pairs of dark, shining eyes. They were almost snakelike in appearance, which may have been why the couple had such a hypnotic effect on you. Your mouth seemed to open of its own accord, divulging something you swore you would tell no other but your future husband.

“I’m still a maiden.”

A wave of quiet, yet excited whispers, rose and fell amongst the group like the soft hush of wind through leaves. Until now, you had not been worthy of any special attention. You were nothing more to these people than the Queen’s pet, a lady from a minor house who got lucky enough to curry her Majesty’s favour this week. Your confession, however, had changed all that. You were now a conquest, something to be sought after and coveted simply because you had yet to be spoiled by anyone else.

You felt your cheeks grow hot, and you ducked your head down, trying to hide from the hungry eyes that watched you with much anticipation. You knew that it would not be long before someone tried to steal you away into the woods, whether you wanted to go with them or not.

Thankfully, Jamie’s next turn drew some of the focus away from you. The knight had given and taken his fair share of kisses throughout the evening, and each one had provided plenty of amusement for the increasingly drunken crowd. You could almost feel the group holding its breath as the bottle spun in the dirt, nearly writhing in anticipation at the possibilities to come.

Much to everyone’s shock and delight, the bottle’s tip finally came to rest in front of Tyrion. The small man immediately reached for his goblet, expecting a forfeit when Jamie suddenly raised his hand.

“Come now, my dear brother, it would be a poor evening for everyone if you were denied a bit of sport. Save your wine, for I have other designs in mind for you.”

“Surely you do not wish to take me into the woods, Jamie?”

Tyrion’s voice was sardonic as ever, prompting the crowd to erupt in gales of laughter. You felt a small smile playing about your lips, which you hid by taking another sip of your drink. You had always found Tyrion to be a source of mirth, though now that he was married, you didn’t think it would be proper to openly laugh at his gybes any longer.

“Unfortunately not, darling Tyrion, you are far too handsome for my tastes. However, since you have yet to capture the maidenhead of your young wife, perhaps you will have better luck with this sweet girl here.”

Before you could protest, rough hands were grabbing at your dress, hauling you ungracefully to your feet and shoving you in Tyrion’s general direction. For a moment, you were reminded of the bedding at Cersi’s wedding, and at the thought of what followed, you felt bile began to rise in your throat.

“Jamie, you’re taking things too far!”

If anyone was of like mind with Tyrion, they kept it to themselves. The two of you were half pushed, half drug from the circle of party-goers and sent towards the trees. Now ousted from the glow of the firelight, your eyes struggled to pierce the gloom ahead. You lurched slightly forward, trying your best to escape the hooting and ribald calls that followed, when the toe of your shoe caught a small divot in the path. You stumbled, reaching out to break your fall, only to be stopped by a pair of stout hands that caught your waist.

You glanced over your shoulder, and were met with a pair of mismatched eyes that seemed to almost gleam in the flicker of the distant flames.

“Are you alright, sweetling?”

There was nothing but concern in Tyrion’s voice, and yet the pet name made you blush.

“I am fine, my lord, thanks to your quick thinking.”

Tyrion smiled, and you felt your heart skip a beat. He’d been part of your life in some way or another since you’d started working for Cersi, but your contact with him had been nothing more than the expected politeness between an employer and servant. You’d never been close to him, not like this.

The sound of someone shouting his name made Tyrion release you from his grasp and turn back towards the fire. Immediately, the smile he’d given you fell and was replaced by a disapproving scowl. It was difficult to say for certain among the drunken racket, but Jamie seemed to be the one calling for his brother. Whatever he said and whatever lewd gestures accompanied it only seemed to garner further disgust from Tyrion, who let out a derisive snort and jerked his head back in your direction.

“Idiots, all of them.” he held his hand out to you, palm up “Come. We won’t know peace until we leave their sight, at least for a little while.”

The walk to the woods was silent, and more than a little tense. You clung to Tyrion’s hand, the warmth of his skin pressing against yours doing nothing to calm your fluttering heart and shaky breaths. Eventually, you came to a small clearing, which was ringed with tall birch trees and dappled in silvery moonlight that played amongst their leaves. From here, the fire was only a faint glimmer in the distance, the voices of the party members lost among the other night sounds. It would have been almost peaceful, until you remembered why you’d been brought here in the first place.

“I beg you, do not dishonour me, my lord.”

The words slipped from your lips before you really knew what you were saying. Immediately, your cheeks began to burn with a combination of shame and guilt. How could you have been so stupid? Tyrion had been nothing but kind to you ever since you’d met him, and yet here you were, behaving as though the rumours about him were true.

Thankfully, however, Tyrion did not seem the least bit bothered by your comment. Instead, he let forth a soft chuckle and released your hand. You watched him walk over to a patch of grass at the centre of the trees and lie down with his back beneath him. When you didn’t follow, he turned his head to face you, and patted the empty space next to him.

“I will not harm you, darling. All I want is some pleasant company, for a short while at least. There is so little of it in my life.”

You did as he asked, and went to lay beside him. The grass was cool and refreshing beneath you, a welcome distraction from the heat of Tyrion’s body so very close to yours. In spite of his reassurance, you could still feel the bundle of nerves twisting away inside your gut. Everything you had been taught told you this was wrong.

You were a lady, you had no business being alone, in the dark with a man who was married to someone else. Anyone else in your stead would have run off if only for the sake of her reputation, and yet, here you were. Perhaps this thing that writhed and wriggled in the pit of your stomach wasn’t fear…but rather excitement. But excitement for what? Tyrion already said he had no intentions of touching you…even if you found yourself wanting him to.

A glance at the sky above finally pulled you free from your swirling thoughts. It was a warm, clear night, with nary a cloud to hide the moon or the stars. And what stars they were. It seemed as though each constellation was on display, especially for you. You stared in awe, mesmerized by the way they seemed to dance and shimmer against a blue velvet sky.

“Beautiful.”

You turned your head to the side, preparing to agree with Tyrion, when you realized he was looking at you instead of upwards. You tried to remember the last time anyone had given you a compliment like that, and fell short. The only time anyone spoke to you in such a fashion was because they either wanted something, or they were teasing. The way Tyrion said it, however, made you almost believe he meant it.

“Thank you my lord, but I am not worthy of your praise. If you’ll pardon my saying so, it is really Lady Sansa who should-”

“She doesn’t want to hear that from me.”

The hard edge that crept into his voice made your eyebrows jump upwards.

“So, all of Ser Jamie’s talk?”

Tyrion sighed, then grasped the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger as though the conversation was paining him.

“I’m sorry to say my beloved brother was telling the truth, for once. Sansa had no desire to be my wife any more than I did to be her husband, and yet that didn’t seem to matter the least bit to anyone when we were wed. The poor girl has made it clear she does not want me to touch her, and I’ve respected her wishes. In fact, we both agreed that it was probably better for the other if each of us took a lover and remained married in title only. I do believe she’s had more luck than I have in that aspect, actually. Young Pod seems very keen on-”

He stopped, suddenly, as though he remembered he was divulging all this to little better than a stranger. You turned onto your side, trying to see Tyrion properly before you reached for him in the almost darkness. He watched, motionless, as you brought a hand up and stroked his cheek. His beard was softer than you expected beneath your fingers, given its untamed appearance.

“Tyrion…if I…that is to say we…”

Try as you might, you couldn’t keep your voice from trembling slightly. You hoped Tyrion understood, even though you were making a mess of things. You couldn’t make the world kinder, or make him taller or undo his Mummer’s farce of a marriage. You weren’t Sansa Stark, beautiful, highborn Sansa Stark who refused to see what a gift she’d been given. But perhaps offering yourself in her stead would be enough.

Thankfully, Tyrion seemed to know what you were getting at. He gently took hold of your hand that had cradled his cheek and pressed his lips against your palm. You gasped, softly, amazed at just how much reverence could be put into one kiss, as though he had been waiting to do it for ages. He continued to trail his mouth down the inside of your wrist, pausing between each kiss as though waiting for you to protest.

When no protest came, he tugged you closer, until your foreheads were almost touching. You could smell the wine on his breath, though that wasn’t why you were feeling drunk.

“If you don’t want this, tell me no, before I break my own heart.”

You swallowed, hard. No was the last thing you ever would’ve said, but you weren’t entirely certain you were ready for yes, either. What you wanted and what your body could handle in the course of one night were unfortunately two very different things.

“I want this. I want you only…”

You ducked your head, cheeks burning, and tried to hide from that piercing gaze. He’d been there when you’d confessed to your innocence, and yet you wished, not for the first time, that you had more to offer him. But the words wouldn’t come. Your heart had leapt into your throat and was holding your tongue for ransom and making you look more the fool with each passing moment.

“Sweetling, look at me.”

You did as you were asked, though it was agonizing to finally bring your eyes to meet his. When you did, you all but melted. The expression on Tyrion’s face was one you had never seen before, though it suited him very well. He looked…softer, and happier than he usually did. You realized that from here on, you’d do anything he asked if only he kept looking at you like that.

“Let’s just kiss and see where it takes us.”

[giraffefeather]

Absolutely love playing DAII for the first time with minimal knowledge. Like... all I know is Anders blows up the Chantry. At some point.

(Post got long, have a courtesy cut) Spoilers up to the end of Act II.

So I'm just wandering along Kirkwall, doing whatever quests pop up. I somehow managed to acquire Fenris at the VERY END of Act I. Like the last quest before finishing the main quest. I kept wondering when he'd show up.

Meanwhile, I've already decided to romance Anders. (Even though Fenris's voice hit me like a fucking freight train and I very nearly switched sides immediately). And I'm just blindly doing what he asks because he's my future husband, you know?

Totally forgot about the conversation with him about meeting at my house. Went to my house to read a letter and BAM! There's Anders! My Champion is absolutely a moron and definitely forgot in game, but hey, pleasant surprise, right?

And I'm jumping from quest to quest so randomly that I managed to complete Aveline's goofy date quest and then immediately followed it with my mother dying in the most horrific way. The fucking whiplash nearly broke me!

Every decision I make either pisses off Anders or Fenris. But Anders is my boy, and the only other warrior option I have is Aveline and I am not dealing with her! So I have to take Fenris. I have somehow managed to keep his friendship level just above rival, but boy does that elf dislike Hawke. And Anders. Jury's still out on if he likes Varric.

(My Hawke is a dual-blade rogue, so my party is always Anders, Varric, Fenris. For balance! Yeah... not because their banter has me giggling like an idiot)

Thought for sure that Anders was gonna blow up the chantry during his Justice quest. Was mildly disappointed when the Chantry was intact.

But uh... hey Anders? Trying to give away your prized possession to Varric? Keeping secrets? Absolutely eluding to some type of betrayal? WHAT DID YOU DO????? Mentally preparing for the worst while desperately trying to convince him to stop this nonsense or at least TELL ME WHAT THIS NONSENSE IS! (I need to know but I refuse to spoil it).

Haven't looked up any guides except the one for the Books of Evil. Because fuck that one. (I have a desperate need to get every achievement I can, to do every quest available).

Hey, as someone whose very first DA experience was a Qunari Inquisitor... where are the lovable Qunaris? Why do I have to hate and kill all of them as Hawke? Justice for Qunari! (Or at least give me a Tal-Vashoth that survives Kirkwall)

IMMEDIATE distrust of Meredith. What's up with her? No... don't tell me. Not yet.

Why am I so surprised at the amount of swearing in game? I mean DAI wasn't exactly PG, but feels like DAII has the language while DAI has the nudity. Is there nudity in DAII? Do I really want to see it? Or do I just want DAI to say fuck?

I started my playthrough months ago before returning to it. I do not remember naming my dog "Jurn." Why did I name my dog Jurn?? It's not even funny stupid, just stupid stupid!

Checks out for my Hawke. She really is just stupid stupid. Varric is truly holding this team together.

Constantly asking myself what the plot of this game is. Act I, make money. Got it, easy enough. Act II? Qunari for some reason? Act III.... ????

Isabela you little shit, come back to my party! I sided with you and you just up and left?? Come back! I miss you at the Hanged Man...

Bethany has been unavailable for like half the game. I didn't notice her absence for the majority of Act II. Idk why I thought I could just take her from the Circle if I ever wanted to. I just... didn't ever want her in my party. (I feel kinda bad, but with the Hawke family history, I have a sneaking suspicion she won't survive Act III).

I keep hearing about Anders's cat. He keeps talking about kittens. Where is this cat??? When does he get a cat? Can I pet it?

Act I has scarred me and I am hoarding gold like a dragon. I have bought exactly 2 things. An armor upgrade I found for Isabela (who is absolutely never in my party) and a gift I was curious about. That gift was immediately forgotten until I started talking to my companions. Suddenly, I had a gift for everyone that I picked up on my travels. I have no idea which one was the one I bought.

Really need to look into those armor upgrades... It's Act III and everyone is in their beginner armor. Except Isabela. But... she's fucking gone, so...

I love that Varric keeps track of kills. I'm ashamed that my Hawke is an idiot and probably has less than everyone else.

If I hear "out of range" one more fucking time... shut up and do your rogue jump into battle, Hawke. You're embarrassing me.

I keep hearing about this Sebastian fellow. I hope I get to meet him. I think I have all the add-ons. I just don't trust myself to find the right quest to find him. Maybe he's late game?

Love/hate that all my poor decisions come back to haunt me. Refuse to pay the loan shark dwarf? Yeah, we're getting ambushed at every turn. Hawke is very good at making enemies.

Merrill, sweet ray of sunshine, daisy with the eluvian, you scare me. But damn, I really want to see if the eluvian works (reason number 76 why Fenris hates me).

WHY DOES ANDERS ALWAYS BRING ME TO THE SEWERS??? THIS IS NOT VERY ROMANTIC, ANDERS!

Keep forgetting to protect Varric in battle. That man has used more injury kits than I care to count. I love the idea that he keeps telling all this to Cassandra, too. Like "yeah we had to battle the Qunari, but I was knocked out for half of it. Anyway, here's what happened while I was out cold."

Have I mentioned my battle skills are absolutely horrendous? Like button mashing is a strategy, right? Varric having to tell Cassandra, " yeah so we were fighting like 8 shades and 2 rage demons and Hawke was... waving her daggers at an empty corner for 3 minutes."

Hey uh, how does Varric know what went on in the privacy of Hawke's bedroom when Anders came to visit? And why is he telling Cassandra? Varric, I have questions and concerns.

Anyway, I'm loving this game, and how different it is from DAO and Origins. I like that I never know what the main plot is. I mean, yeah, mages vs templars, but I mostly know that from DAI and other lore referring to it. While playing, it just feels like Hawke is a person doing her best to meddle in absolutely everything with no game plan. And it's lovely!