#like i give em a personality and such but im not giving them a backstory

[forecast0ctopus]

I kinda spam liked your merthur posts so sorry if that was annoying haha,,, anyway! Do you have any ocs?

no apologies needed i love it when people like a lot of my stuff !! im not much of an oc person, but ive got a few from my films over the years..... none of them have names lmao theyve just got titles

hitchhiker from Stranger Danger (2019) cowboy from The Cart Before the Horse (2020) and ballerinas 1 and 2 from Barre Fight! which brings up the perfect opportunity to let you guys know im releasing it TOMORROW (may 1, 2023)

im not that great at promoting my original stuff but im really proud of my films! so if u guys wanna check them out.................

[queenofallimagines]

Can you do Blue Lock Sae x female reader x Rin? The brothers are fighting for her love.

A/N: I SURE THE FUCK CAN!! The itoshi effect is hating them both and then post backstory explanation coming to like them both a lot😔

TAGLIST: @priv-rose

Sae & Rin itoshi:

- okay so boom

- Had another OC though of being like a counselor at blue lock bc none of them boys is right in the head😭

- You have previous connections to Sae bc you were a counselor for another team he was on and his manager liked you so he would schedule private sessions

- Ended up in you leaving bc he’s so frustrating but alas fate has other plans

- You show up to the U-20 match bc DUH

- Anri doesn’t have any money to hire a manager also so you’re taking over that role

- Sorry😔

- Anyway rin comes to respect you for dragging him by his eyelashes about his trauma

- “So are we gunna start with hating yourself and thinking you’re not good enough to prove a point to your shitty brother OR are we working on your material conditions that stem from that today?”

- “…..off yourself”

- Like he can’t say shit back bc you got em!

- Comes in often enough now that he doesn’t schedule sessions he just shows up to spill the tea

- (Isagi and bachira are the same. the spies on the inside that tell you how the others are doing)

- He comes in and flops down in the chair

- “I’m not looking forward to seeing him. Why the fuck did they call HIM to help the team? His ass should have stayed in Spain!”

- “Oh I hear ya, I’m not looking forward to even making eye contact with his ass either. I’m counting on yall to win.”

- “The game-“

- “I want yall to crush him. I have my own personal beef with him.”

- “…….im not asking how.”

- You’re being restrained from jumping over the divider during the game to go swing on Sae

- Like did you see that?? THE AUDACITY

- DID NOBODY ELSE IN THE WHOLE STADIUM HEAR THAT SHIT??

- Yeah I would have swing on his ass right when the final whistle blew

- Better than me for him to get that mess out his mouth about isagi

- Would have stood up and clocked his ass

- When they’re all jumping all over each other celebrating you can feel the bad vibes coming from rin

- It’s suffocating

- You run to the locker rooms to catch him and bump into sae(accompanied by shidou)

- “……”

- Glaring at his ass

- Give him the dirtiest look ever

- And then turn to Ryusei smiling like you saw a puppy

- “Hey Ryu! Wonderful performance you put on today. You definitely stole the show.”

- Like lmao just ignore him pls

- After saving rin from going off the deep end; bc baby I’m so sorry that an ugly ass bitch would say something like that to you

- Their two week vacation starts

- Rin is surprised to see you in not work clothes chilling like a regular person

- Ends up hanging out with you a lot bc you’re the only one who he can speak freely to

- Unfortunately his brother is also back in the country

- Running into Sae while hanging out with his brother was NOT on your vacation bingo card but here we are

- “You’re here?”

- “I could really say the same to you. You haven’t gotten citizenship to stay your ass over there yet?”

- Flashback✨ y’all had a casual thing back in the day because when he’s not closed off he can be pretty fun to be around

- Then he let a white man get in his feelings and refused to talk about them and lashed out on you

- So he just kinda got these feelings and nothing to do with them

- Didn’t think he’d ever see you again to be honest so now stuff that he buried ages ago is in his face

- Can’t tell you sorry. Doesn’t know how.

- Sees you smiling and doting on rin how you used to him and can’t help but get jealous

- Makes sure to approach you when rin isn’t around

- You go to the kitchen to get water boom he’s there too now

- “Jesus Christ do you ever announce yourself?”

- “You’re in MY house”

- “Is it your house if you only show up one a year?”

- Can’t help but start arguments when he just wants to talk regularly

- Rin already picking up what his brother is trying to lay down and he’s not having it

- He’s already developed a crush on you like you CANT leave

- Gets nervous bc if your past with sae that he might snatch you up too

- Not letting his brother take something else away from him

- So all of a sudden he’s a lot more touchy with you

- Trust me inside he’s screaming and throwing up bc he’s never done this before but he will try

- You can feel his stiff ass hand around your waist😭

- Poor baby

- The silent itoshi beef isn’t missed by you but you don’t know that they’re competing off the pitch too

- “You sure you don’t want to go do something? Like we watched horror movies in your room all day yesterday, I had errands to run-“

- “Well I wanted to start the final destination franchise so you gotta watch all 5 of them there’s a new one coming out”

- “Yeah in 2025! That’s like 3 years away!”

- “Shhhh, the movie starting🙄”

- Hoards you all to himself in his room because you’re surrounded by HIM and less chances for Sae to sneak up on you in public and steal you away or join your date outing together

- Thinks you look cute wrapped in his blankets and tries not to blush when you cling to him

- “I swear to god-“

- “My bad forgot there’s a jumpscare here I’ll warn you about the next one promise.”

- He won’t

- Sae rolling his eyes to the back of his head bc you just always in the house now and Rin hanging off you like a sad puppy

- Sae is more strategic where rin is impulsive

- So he’s the type to do shit from the past that he knew would make your heart flutter and run will be blunt and impulsive with his actions

- Sae will touch your lower back as he comes up behind you to grab a class from the cub board and hand it to you

- Sae will bring you home your favorite snack when he knows rin wont see him give it to you

- Rin will grab your hand in public and not let go to make sure you don’t get lost on a crowd

- Rin will clumsily press his lips to your forehead when you are most distracted

- Both are very annoying

- And after a good WEEK of getting mixed signals from both of them you’re ready to stay your ass at home for the rest of the vacation before it’s back to work

- Monday morning Rin invites you on a morning run

- Which you obviously say fuck NO to bc the sun ain’t even up

- But he shows up to your front door at the asscrack of dawn telling you to get dressed you have no say in the matter unfortunately

- The jog isn’t so bad and he has the decency to buy you breakfast afterwards so that’s nice

- Decent conversation surprisingly

- When he drops you off back at your home he kisses you before literally sprinting off

- He was working up the nerve to do that all morning

- Can’t even say thanks or whatever yet before he presses his body close to you and lifts your head to slot his lips against yours

- Puts all his feelings into that kiss before managing to get out “bye” before his throat completely closes up

- And then sprints off before you can even blink

- Clown

- Giggling and kicking his feet when he gets home

- Sae is packing for his trip back to Spain at the end of the week

- When he catches you leaving his house after another Rin spontaneous all day movie marathon

- Offers to drive you home because it’s dark and he remembers the address

- Didn’t really offer so much as grab his Keys complaining about how you know better than to be outside this late

- Sir 🫤🫤

- The ride is kinda tense until he forces a conversation

- Unsurprisingly e vividly remembers all the right buttons to press to see that smile he’s been dying to see

- Don’t even notice he took the long way back to your home

- Puts his new number in your phone and tells you to stop being stubborn and answer when he texts you

- He’s a gentleman before all else so he walks you right to your front door

- Man barely hears a word you said before pulling you closer by your neck pressing his lips to yours

- Remembers you like the back of his hand the way his lips fit so familiar with yours

- Ends up with your arms around his neck and your back pressed into the front door

- Clearly wanting to come inside he pulls away because he’s fond of the chase🙄😒

- Wishes you a good night before kissing your forehead and going back to his car

- both of them have laid their cards out on the table

- Just up to you to make a choice I’m afraid

[carmenized-onions]

SIGH you got me good with this one I fear

Okay so the chap is still fresher in my mind this time since I read yesterday!! Itemized yap sheet incoming below based mostly on the order they happened

1) Yoooooo

That just cracked me up okay. Had to add. But also like. I love them. I love that Tony is so nervous to catch up with Richie bc it means talking abt mikey, but also relieved and excited ish to talk to richie bc it means talking abt mikey does that makes ykwim

2) AAAAAAA listen the way that Carmy thinks about Tony to calm down?? Like hes having a panic attack and he thinks about Tony and is calmed slightly by smelling her shampoo in his hair literally makes me ILL

2b) kinda related but also like not ?? But Anyway Like. Carmy like unsure whether or not he is actually scared/believes Richie when he says he could end his relationship with tony got me like on my knees in my workplace when I read that bc UGH he has absolutely zero confidence and i just want to kiss his face okay. Also him not really wanting to share tony with Richie is so real of him actually. Like he wants Tony to just be his and that's so sweet.

3) if we dont find out the chip storyline ill riot if only for Carmy's sake cause like Carm, im also now very intrigued that Richie didn't immediately blab when prompted but also go richie thats very cute

4)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Scream break mb

5) last one but like the painting??? The way that it starts with the beef and has like pictures of before and stuff and the mid point is mikey and then it has pictures from like the building process and ends with the The Bear sign? IM DECEASED YOU KILLED ME THATS SO GOOD WHAT LITERALLY WHAT

6)okay im i liar whatever could i edit the post yes will i no. I digress. Last one fr. So the way both their lil povs end with them saying on friday they'll do right by each other??? Im so gone actually wtf

Anyways as always i adore you and your writing RAAAA

HEHEHEH GOTCHU!!! GOT YOUR ASS!!!

yoooooooo -- The next convos are really some of my favourite to write, i get to amp up the funny and math out what their texting styles would probably be, it's fun!!

Also yes, it's very much that part of grief where it's like a knife to talk about them, but it's also nice, it's weird when in the grief process, everyone around you acts like that person just simply Never Happened in fear of being triggering-- It's nice for Tony and Richie to get to talk raw!! Even if it's anxiety inducing to lead with it!!

2. Hehehhehe, he does it a LOT, When he called her before, trying and failing to get her voicemail, when he was having an episode in the diner and then Tony came back and he became Normal mostly. Grounding Tool but it's a Person

3. listen baby, I don't put a gun in the first act just to not fire it. I've had this backstory since chapter two. And honestly, I was extremely nervous that someone was gonna guess it and I was being too obvious. Thank God, no one has, yet-- But also no one's guessed, so like, feel free to throw in your guesses, love to hear em.

4. AHHHHHHHH!!!! Here let's see, during this scream break what can I give you...

This is what I'm screaming over, personally. This is Chapter 10 alone, LMAO. AND I'M NOT EVEN DONE LMAOOOO. The goal for me is to get it out this Friday, so it's like, timely and on theme. But we'll see how tired I am, this work week. Might've just gotten a commission (that I honestly don't want to take lmaoo) so we'll see. Fingers crossed. It's definitely gonna need me to take my eyes off it for a day and come back to, so keep your fingers crossed, for me.

5. OH GOOD! I was worried I described it poorly; there's always that fear, when you have to make the thing that's like the thing of the story, and if it's not good then what the FUCK WAS IT FOR!!!!!????

I'm vv happy to hear it killed you, is what I'm trying to say. I also thought the idea was very sweet. Hehhehe

6. You're always free to yap on end, never fear such a thing. Yes!! Their POVs start and end the same way, which is just like, a cute lil touch, yknow. Two anxious mfs. In the club tnnnnn, trying to do right by each other if it fuckin' KILLS them

thank you thank you thank u as always i love to hear this and i hope u enjoy Friday whenever the FUCK it comes out.

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

Scar anon again I'm so sorry for sending consecutive asks but mashima really made the coolest dude + team ever (laxus n the raijinshuu in case it wasn't obvious) and then refused to elaborate like???good sir I would have paid for a full series of Them?? The raijinshuu are so criminally underutilised like I want to know their backstories!! I want to know how they came to join fairy tail!!! I start frothing at the mouth everytime I think about how mashima did the raijinshuu so dirty esp during the Tartarus arc ;- ; anyways sorry for the rant it's like 4 am and I'm having many Thoughts ok that's all from me for real this time 👍🏼 peace!

Everything after Tartarus is my villain origin story lol, not even joking. It's so messy.

Im not singing praises for everything before it ofc there was some jank from beginning to gmg but after tartarus' end the story and characterization really seemed to start coming apart at the seams and it really tanked everything even though at that stage mashima's art was 10/10. Which is a shame bcus tartarus really was a step in the right direction tonally but it just stopped right there. Copped a massive W then tossed it out for consecutive L's.

But yea man! Laxus and his squad! Laxus will forever be a sorta sore spot for me because of the dropped Dreyar family plot thread. The whole dealio with Ivan, Makarov sending Gajeel to spy on him, Laxus' lone adventures. It really could've culminated in either a small side arc or a B-plot of an already existing arc

(I personally would add it into Tenrou. Take Gajeel off tenrou to have him doin his spy gig, accidentally meet up with Laxus during that, plot details regarding the dreyar family happen all while the events of tenrou go down. The duo gets wind of Grimoire Heart heading to tenrou from Raven Tail due to all dark guilds sharing info. The duo head over to tenrou post haste and allowing gajeel to carry out the iconic gajevy moment where he saves her and justifying why Laxus ended up on Tenrou instead of just randomly showing up at the nick of time. But alas, details lol)

Thunder Legion's always been interesting to me though. I'll admit i dont think about them often but they are a pretty unique squad with varying personalities across the board that, on paper, you probs wouldn't expect em to be friends, let alone friends that close and loyal to one another.

Their magics are also a main point of interest because it really is so out there. Freed in essence has an upgraded solid script (plus those unused transformations the beast lookin one from fantasia and the more streamlined one from tenrou), Evergreen has the petrification magic (alongside her main magic with the energy attacks) and Bickslow? Soul manipulation? That can't be legal man. The magic system in FT is really underexplained and has a anything goes sorta deal (hello summoning gods) but man, i would've loved something there for these 3- power limits or drawbacks, how it works, whether its magic they naturally manifested or learned or both. Something along those lines.

And while i don't think a backstory would've been necessary for them per se, because at the end of the day they still are side characters so relevancy of the information learned throughout the story dictates how much is really needed to be known and this extends to learning about how they joined the guild as well (i personally think they all joined as adults tbh. I know a lotta peeps like to think of em as a teen friendship squad but i really prefer it they were an adult friend group. Having a friendship that strong forming in their 20s feels right to me), but i think even a one line or 2 regarding their pasts could come up in conversation for that information to come up naturally.

Like for eg. Freed gives off rich kid energy, so perhaps he's a runaway rich kid like herself but not from Fiore, that could be revealed in a convo with Lucy at some point to strike common ground between the two. Evergreen feels like an orphaned soul turned away (i personally think she gives off Jessie from pokemon vibes) by others a lot so why not a kinship with her and Juvia or even Mirajane? Bickslow the wild card could spout jokes about his acrobatic skills he learned from being a street performer, just something. They're not perfect concepts no, but they're little ways the characters could've been given even a scrap of info to help learn more about em.

Also uhhhh, it always threw me off that they weren't all S-class wizards so i think it would've been cooler if they were a whole squad of s class wizards who attempted a guild coup instead of just 1 s class and his homies. Aight byeeeeee.

[krynutsreal]

yipee another request done, this time for @princeasimdiya12 !!

they had asked for some talentswap ishimondo and I asked for some suggestions of what they wanted:

I only did a few of em since some I couldn't really think of designs for mechanic mon and aiikido master ishi aughefjejt but either way I hope you enjoy!

this post is gonna be long bc of the doodles and also just me rambling abt em 👍

starting off with prince! Ishi and soldier! Mondo :]

im gonna be honest it was somewhat difficult to come up with a decent design for mondo bc I feel like it'd be a bit ridiculous to make it those like cameo soldier type of things that first show up when u google soldier aughddjtkdnt

But it was fun to draw them either way! Mondo would probably have shorter hair if the man bun was down but he keeps it up so that it doesn't get in the way of his face (duh)

As for ishi my only thoughts for him are that he's a prince who wants to make his family name and kingdom better because of his old tyrannical grandfather who used to be king or sumn.

I don't think either of their personalities would change too much, mainly their backstories ofc due to the change of ultimates.

Onto the next talentswap!

Idol!Mondo and Assassin! Kiyotaka :)

OOK SO FOR THESE I LITEKTJJDF I rlly like how Mondo turned out and I had more difficulty with taka since looking up references were wonky this time.

Ik these look very simple but trust me it took so long trying to not smudge everything even more SO 😭

.

for mondo I believe that when he actually preforms it's more of that outfit but obviously with more details to it (I would have added them if I could but I didn't want to make it more messy). Like he'd probably have some form of the Diamonds logo maybe on the back and some gold designs on the cuffs of his outfits and such!! Maybe his preforming outfit is like the version of his coat where it's white with gold like in his original design yk? In a similar way that Sayaka wants to not give up all that she's worked for to be an idol I feel like Mondo would be that way too. I'd say more but it's this post is already long enough as is jakfjdjf

For ishi I wasn't sure on whether to go in the way where he pretends to have a different talent in hopes to cover his actual talent? Like how they did with Maki, but I just decided to draw him in what he would wear when actually killing someone, the cape to cover himself and the black mask to keep his face unrecognizable ofc. Ironically though I think people would state that even with his mask and hood on the most recognizable thing abt him is his eyes since they're red. On the job he probably tries to keep quiet to make himself unsuspecting but when talking to classmates or outside of it he's probably still just as loud as he is canonically lol

ok that's all, I'll probably draw more of em and draw some ideas out bc clearly I cannot organize my thoughts properly

[nerves-nebula]

hey legend sorry for coming onto your ask to talk about my stuff but i kinda came up with it under a post of yours so i wanted to give an update (im the less fingers au person. that.that’s not the name. it doesn’t have a name yet. and only one of them has less fingers. anyways)

i said i was going to learn how to draw but in a twist no one saw coming i wasn’t able to master the art of art in a single day (rude) so in the meantime i’ve been writing shit down. and i accidentally have only thought about splinter. i haven’t decided a single thing about the actual turtles besides one of ‘em having a limb difference. on the other hand i have thought up my splinter’s entire backstory and am now emotionally attached to this middle aged rat man that only exists in my head. he is going to be the bestest dad you won’t even believe. and once the turtles start doing their own thing i Will give him a midlife crisis. this rat dad is going to have so many hobbies. mucho texto sorry legend love your au was exciting to see part 2 of the mind worm comic today. the way mikey tried to look at leo for help ahhhh.

actually question about that: how long ago was that memory? how come mikey tried to ask leo for help? is this when they were much younger or was mikey just hoping that despite everything leo Might help his youngest brother?

oooo yesss yess RAT MANNN!!! <<33 beloved middle aged rat man.

that memory is when they're much younger, yeah, and its one of the first instances of Leo really having to choose between doing what his dad wants and his siblings. they're still at the age where they're kind-of-sort-of friends, I think. They're pretty young so whatever issues they have they tend to resolve themselves or just forget about. so Mikey is thinking that his brother, who his dad likes, could stand up for him!

But leo knows that's not how Splinter works, and doesn't think anything good will come of him trying to help Mikey. it still hurts tho :')

[yardofangels]

OMG HI!! So I just finished reading the latest chapter of your AO3 fic and I love love LOVE it!! I came to ur tumblr because I was hoping for more content and I saw ur post about Königs backstory and god his entire demeanor through the fic makes sense now!! I was wondering abt some stuff in his backstory though..

1. Why did he choose to enter the military instead of continuing math/science studies like his parents wanted him to?

2. He really seems to hate the people he worked with while in the military, so how did his ‘friendship’ with ghost and soap develop?

3. Would he ever introduce us to his family? (I know thanksgiving would be hell in his household 😭)

4. Do you think he’ll ever come to face his trauma? Like would he consider therapy or some other type of treatment?

5. (Bonus question) how do you write such good German 💀 I wanna write König fics but know absolutely nothing about German

Sorry for the onslaught of questions!! I just love this man so much fr

HELLO ANON !!!!!!! im so glad to hear that you're interested in König's backstory - it is such an important aspect of who he is (despite how much he would deny this fact if questioned) and as you said, really does dictate much of his behaviour in the fic.

i love getting questions!! there is no such thing as an onslaught of questions - just keep throwing them at me. often when im questioned it helps me add depth to the characters i write, inspires new ideas, etc. KEEP EM CUMMING !!!

okay. now to actually answering them

a huge part of it was to spite his family, actually. by his mid-teens, he would do just about anything to piss off his mother. yes, he loved his math and science, but it was something he could let go of. he never really felt a huge amount of passion for anything by the time he decided to join the military. his decision was also influenced by his lust for violence and underlying blood-thirst - he thought it would be a genius way to experiment with the anger that was bubbling away at the surface and see how he could release it. finally, he grew up with very few positive male role models. they were all hyper-masculine, aggressive, physicality-based. to him, the picture of a perfect man was a soldier, an army man. he thought it the most logical (and easy) pathway to guaranteed employment.

GREAAAT question. his friendship with ghost and soap started with Ghost. Ghost (in my au) was a few years older than König and had a bit more life experience than him. Ghost watched the way that the Austrian behaved for weeks; the silence, the angered glare, the punches thrown. he saw himself in König, and wanted to see what he could do to help, to prevent him from ending up where he did. it was a slow process to befriend König and earn his trust, but after weeks of quick comments, pats on the back, and quiet early mornings, Ghost finally got him to come around. and Soap? well, he's just an extension of Ghost. that's what he would say to anyone else, including Ghost, but internally, König actually quite liked Soap. his incessant comedy and positivity were both infuriating and admirable, especially in the face of what they were contending with at times. finally, he appreciated the fact that neither of them seemed to judge him for much. they were just interested in his well-being, something that seemingly the rest of the boys were not.

fuck no! he doesn't want his beautiful girl to be exposed to the horrors that plagued him as a child, giving her any insight into the person he used to be. aside from that, he went no contact with his mothers years ago, after she divorced his father. his father only gets a text message from König once a year, normally at Christmas or around his birthday. maybe one day he'd clue his dad into the woman in his life, but not for a good long while. not until he's certain that you're not going anywhere.

another big fat no. on one hand, he knows that something might be a bit off about him, but on the other, he doesn't think it important enough to go and get it checked out. on all the psychological assessments before he joined the military, he lied on every single question. gave the impression that he was fine, because he knew what they expected of his mental health. he thinks it would be a waste of time. he much prefers just pushing it to the back of his mind and taking his anger out elsewhere. if he believes he's fine and doesn't need help, wouldn't those pansies who just want to study him think that too?

HEEELLLPPPP please it is not that good - in fact, i got a lesson from a German reader in my ask box correcting me on my German which from now on i will be implementing. it was all just google translate and blind faith that the Germans wouldn't get me for it. go for the writing!!! just trust that they won't get you too!!!!!

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Ed/Jack

*evil laugh*

Do I ship it- of course it is one of the ships ever Im love them.

Why do I ship it- Ed is my beautiful beautiful blorbo and Jack is my skrungly who lives rent free in my fucking brain. Also I love the way they are around each other. Jack is such a charismatic douchebag and Ed is on board fucking immediately I don't know if we're ready or if we will ever be ready to talk about the Ed Teach bimbofication arc that happened before our very eyes in episode 8 but Jack showed up and Ed was like alright werk and switched off his brain. It's like Jack is a braincell black hole and Ed has infinite braincells so they just cancel each other out to a nice even 0. Jack is also the only guy other than Stede who manages to spice up Ed's life, so he gets points there. Ed says he's unhappy because there's no chaos, no drama, no fuckin life and Calico Jack is made of chaos and drama so it's no wonder that they're fuck buddies and besties. Also whip my balls Jack. Whip my balls cannot be understated I want to see what they were getting up to. I know they get kinky with it.

Canon potential- it depends on what you mean by 'canon'. I do consider them to be a canon ship. They had dalliances, that's canon. But if you're asking about the canon potential for them to be end game? Uh no. There's nothing(other than the cannon ball which he can survive because it's funnier if he did) stopping Jack from swooping in and being the best rebound ever and Ed deciding that he can have both from the watsonian perspective but doyleistically this is Ed and Stede's story. There's not gonna be any more dalliances, no matter how much I like jack or how much I personally want things to get even messier.

Fanon- Jack is underused as fuck in fanon. If you are writing a fanfiction and you want a romantic rival for Stede I would encourage you to ask yourself if Calico Jack is right for you. I know you feel yourself drifting towards Izzy. This is the jockphobia at work and you should not give in. Another thing I don't love is that every time there's a backstory fic from when they were young on Hornigold's boat, Izzy is always fucking there for some reason which, lame next. And then there's the disproportionate number of SA fics. But other than that I'm chilling. I'll take these boys where I can get em. Write More Jack/Ed 2k23.

[automatayaoi]

i Still dont have a name for them bc thats always hardest for me but ive been thinking abt them a LOT an d they have incredible swag

look at the fucking rizz on this dude im fucking obsessed with himmm Gender euphoria the insert. i dont care if im not actually anything like this (i do a little bit kind of makes me self conscious if im honest but) Self care is think abt urself as the pathetic little meow meow twitter whould shit its nuts over

ignore the horns i decided to keep them human (probably) but that picrew still fucks so im making you look at it. i dont have a lot of backstory planned for them yet its mostly just the vibes ive been thinking abt. theyre definitely american (i will never be willingly british) but i'm not sure they work for the hellsing org, or if theyre some kind of lone actor that maybe integra hired after the manor invasion like she did with the wild geese

i do Really like that coffin backpack that comes in that one picrew i found so i kinda wanna figure out how to incorporate it into their character/weapon. maybe like...smth that unfolds into a big fuck off gun? since hellsing is well known for its big fuck off guns. or i might give them a different kind of weapon...something that can contend with the likes of millennium without immediately being slaughtered AJSLKDHKJS.

been thinking abt sorta leaning into the contrast of an american in the uk by making them a lil bit of a cowboy...i just think it would be neat. not full cowboy but a lil more southern (i as a person and accent haver am more mid east coast but the ease of use yall contains within it and the autism brain sometimes has me dip into country for literally no reason). more than anything i just like the vibes of them in a long black duster and some big ass boots

thats all the thoughts i really have rn i gotten nail em down better. so i can nail alucard. Ha.

[nukavolkov]

From the Fallout OC Questionnaire ~ I've just met em so I gotta know: 4. Give us a summary of their backstory. and 19. What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil) For both your beans, please!

Oooh this will be a long one! I am still working on refining Beau so this won't be entirely set in stone for her.

Donovan would be considered Chaotic Neutral I'd say and as for his backstory. Im going to sum it up as best I can but theres a lot lol:

Donnie was born in Vault 101 and is younger than the cannon player character. His life wasn't amazing in there. A bit neglected by his parents who treated his younger sister like an absolute perfect blessing. He was a big scapegoat for almost everyone there. Getting the blame for so many things. It was east with how quite and awkward he was. He never really fought back. There were people who were on his side but the ones who weren't felt louder to him. He had particular disdain for Butch and the cannon PC. James and kid left the vault when Donovan was 15 and in the chaos he snuck out behind them. Looking for a better life than the one he had.

Immidiate regret on that. He found the Wasteland terrifying, hostile and cruel but he managed to make a few friends in Megaton and beyond. One being Moira as they worked on the Wasteland Survival Guide. Things were hard at first. He was afraid of everything, not very strong, lost a couple fingers and struggled a lot. But as time went on, he got stronger, taller and harder to kill abd developed a wild amount of skill with almost any gun he got his hands on. He was still afraid but he had more control. He also made some mistakes. And the cannon PC also got into some absolute bullshit that he pinned on Donovan. Being blamed for both their wrong doings earned him a real bad reputation in the Capital Wasteland. While he wasnt the most moral person around he wasnt full on evil either. He does genuinely care about people. But being labeled brutal, a monster, vicious. Every word they could come up with left him feeling bitter and as hostile to them as they were to him. His general demeanor, general expression and awkwardness didn't help at all. Just made it worse really. He's hard to read and comes across as rude without meaning to.

So he left the Capital Wastes at 34 with his reputation in unsalvageable shambles and made for the Commonwealth after Maccready (one of his few friends). He met Beau in Nuka World on his way there. Helped her clear out the Raiders then followed her to Sanctuary and eventually Diamond City where he settled nearby, got back to mercenary work and earned a far better reputation with friends to boot.

Now as for Beau. I'd consider her to be Neutral Good I think. As for her story. It's still a WIP but here's what I have so far:

Beau was and is a robotics and power armour enthusiast. Even before the war. She always loves tinkering, building and just making the coolest stuff she could. When she met Nate she was happy to settle down though she was plotting out where she could fit a workshop in their home and saving up to get her own Power Armour frame. She was happy to have Shaun and nestle in in Sanctuary until the bombs.

She hadn't trusted the Vault Tec lads from the beginning but didn't see much of a choice. When she woke to a dead husband and missing baby after being frozen, she didn't know what to do. She was scared, alone and confused. But after a couple aimless days she found her resolve. She moved out, helped Preston and reformed the Minute Men. Vowing to wear a suit of power armour with pride and protect everyone she could. Making the Commonwealth safe for her baby when she found him.

This is all I have so far but I'll give her more as time goes on 👍

[flingza-roller]

Sorry if this is bad timing, but I just saw your post about lorikeet and I love them! Could you tell me a bit more about them and your other splatoon OCs?

OHO YES! there is no such thing as bad timing to ask about ocs, im just incredibly happy that somebody is interested!! heheh time to Ramble (this is long sorry)

ok so im gonna stick to the bird kids cuz theyre a lot easier to explain GSJFD (maybe someday ill give my other ocs refs and backstory stuff....)

all four of em are very much based off how i play the game as each character, so i pretty much just grab my in-game behaviour and give it to em as a personality.

so, lorikeet! splat3 is still very new but i think ive somehow already solidified their personality lmao. theyre super reckless, pretty much always falling off stages and getting themself splatted by doing stupid things like running headfirst to a tacticooler or trying to challenge the eliter that wont leave them alone (i think mahi-mahi is the absolute worst for this). they like to go a little bit cazy and get as many kills as possible, which is silly when the only mode u play is turf war... (on that, there is not a single splatoon game that has gotten me to like ranked/league. i played it a few times and then swore off it, so now all four of the kids hate ranked lol)

lori fucking ADORES deep cut so theyve got the three earrings in their right ear bc they wanna be like shiver and frye. on deep cut, they love splatfests and all the music n fun stuff that comes with it. theyre weirdly not too competitive when it comes to defending their team, BUT they will go extra feral during splatfest turf wars and go complete beast mode. they still dont have a main weapon? favours brushes but thats pippins thing so they should probably pick something else GDKGS

oh they have the worst adhd brain. if they see something cool happening in the bg of a stage they will just straight up stop in their tracks and watch for a while, completely oblivious to whatever is happening in the match. and of course the moment they hear the tacticooler they will run for it even if theyre literally in the opposite end of the stage.... stupid. favourite stage is yet to be decided, gotta let the game marinate for a while longer

as the new agent 3 lori is pretty good at following orders, they just kinda... die in the dumbest possible ways. trying to jump through walls, walking straight off ledges, accidentally attracting attention to themself by throwing lil buddy right next to them. but theyre pretty good at fighting! also they like annoying the captain, because of course (this doesnt bode well for kiwi)

id like to build more on their character eventually but that requires me playing more splat3 and ive been rly unmotivated to do so >:/ ive barely played any salmon run and still havent touched table turf. augh. lori u will grow as a person i promise

now PIPPIN! (she/they) theyre my kid from octo expansion! shes very silly but surprisingly strong and skilled. never asked for help from OTH and went through every single test multiple times to get every weapon ticked (hell). also enjoys fighting inner agent 3 because ??? clearly a lot more competent than theyre letting on.

so once pip came to the surface they were very much like "id rather NOT do the whole fighting thing again" and jumped into turf wars with the intention of just having fun and messing with people. her gear set is 100% QSJ cuz she likes annoying the enemy team and then jumping away like a coward when theyre cornered (it jumpscares people bc they dont expect an octo to jump THAT fast).

she uses brush so that they can draw love hearts in enemy base :] they think its very cute and gets sad when ppl ink over it. also if an enemy tries to initiate a party they will always join bc make love not war etc. always goes for the highest inkage (highest score excluding win points was over 2000) favourite stage is inkblot art academy!

zero sense of fashion btw they either wear the QSJ gear or whatever they think will make her look hot (big fan of the octoling armour and marinas crop top). sometimes changes gender to Boy bc why the hell not, gender is arbitrary.

when grouped up with the others, they like teaming up with pigeon to cause chaos and havoc. shes very excited to see lori joining the team cuz theyre equally as insane as the other two! kiwi is the only one carrying a braincell here rip

PIGEON time!! (also she/they) technically my first oc because splatoon 2 was my first game! so she definitely has the most going for them. foil flingza main (my beloved), absolutely a frontliner and goes for the kill as much as possible. very good at sneak attacks! main gear is almost entirely special charge up (sorry. im the og missile spammer) except for ninja squid which they use to scare the shit outta ppl.

pigeon adores the birds u see hanging out on various stages, especially the pigeons (naturally). favourite stage is moray towers! i never said we had good taste. moray is excellent for roller users and allows for fast clean base inking >:]

like the others they love a good squid party but isnt always in the mood, HOWEVER she will never splat an innocent partier bc thats a dick move. if theyre not a threat, theres no need to splat.

outside of turf, pigeon is actually not a very violent person. very sweet to their friends and oh so very lesbian. she sees a pretty girl in the square and goes 😳 (btw this DOES work in battle, be a cute girl and they will be distracted). fucking absolutely obsessed with squid beatz like you have no idea, aims to get gold on every hard mode song. favourite songs to play are frantic aspic, shark bytes, and entropical. she and pippin love playing games like this together, i bet theyd be great dance duo.

in hero mode, pigeon is naturally a completionist and obtained every weapon. fucking loves harassing marie and annoying her as much as possible. adores callie so much <3 their best speedrun time is 40 sec on octo samurai (sadly cant reach the world record of 39)

unlike pippin they actually have a pretty good fashion sense, always coordinating their outfits and ink colour to match. a very stylish squid!

now kiwi is an interesting one. i first played splatoon 1 in beginning of 2018, so sadly i missed out on the splatfests. still got plenty of turf in and played hero mode repeatedly bc i have brainrot!

so kiwi (again. she/they) is really into amiibo challenges, especially the kraken challenge. being a kraken for that long makes em feel powerful, and its lotsa fun. they actually spend far more time on hero missions than anything else, they enjoy turf on the occasion but find it weirdly intimidating (favourite stage is flounder heights!). she feels most at home in the valley, with craig and the squid sisters. theyre far too sympathetic toward octolings (unlike pigeon who just goes fucking ham) and tries her best to just avoid fighting them entirely. because of this, shes pretty good at stealth missions, especially since she rarely makes much noise anyway. theyre definitely the most low-key out of the four agents.

SO!! why do i name them all after birds? because.... i like birds :D yes im a wannabe ornithologist and birds are my main special interest. i also mainly name them after aus/nz birds cuz im just Like That. we have cool birds in australia, and lorikeet was just far too fitting to pass up. (btw pippin is short for peregrine falcon)

despite being so skilled in hero mode missions they do actually get hurt a lot and almost always has some kind of bandaid or gauze on her body from various injuries. is it a lack of skill, or just recklessness? hmmm (its definitely just because she doesnt take enough care of their body lol).

if kiwi were to be captain in splatoon 3, theyd definitely be just constantly scruffing new 3 by the collar to stop them from doing something stupid. is very afraid of a new idiot joining the gang, as if pip n pidge werent bad enough. all 4 as a splatfest team would definitely be the most chaotic thing possible.

also theyre this way because when i draw squirds (tagged on my blog as "wings au") i think its fun to see how different they all look! kiwi would certainly be more fitting as a bird of prey but i think they look so silly with the stubby wings so im not changing my mind. this does mean shes real fast at running! pip and lori are the fastest flyers, pigeon is just kinda in between rip

final note, theyre all at LEAST 18 just so that its not weird. they all use she/they except lori, whos exclusively they/them. they all fucking hate ranked but love hero missions. also all of them have 1 braincell bouncing between them (mainly held by kiwi)

if u managed to read this far, thanks for ur time!! ill eventually draw all these silly bird kids together as squirds, i think itd be fun.

[ashren]

hhhhng I want answers to all of them for everyone BUT, how about:

Why did you give them the name they have? What is the in-universe reason for their name?

What inspired you to create your oc?

Does your oc have any notable skills or good personality traits? Why did you give them those traits? Why do they exist in-universe?

Which canon characters (if any) do the oc have bad relationships with? Why those characters?

Share a random piece of trivia about the creation of your oc. Examples: scrapped ideas or changes you didn't expect to make.

For Peter and Ren? No pressure to do 'em all, I'll be excited for any combination :)

AHHH thank you!!! I will absolutely Ramble on about my ocs so don't u worry heheh 💞

Why did you give them the name they have? What is the in-universe reason for their name?

Ren: I think I've actually answered this some time, a LONG time ago, but dont @ me i answer differently now LOL. In universe, he picked the name Ren because it's a shortening of Loren, the name of his Uncle who had the farm. The IRL reason for the name is because I see a lot of cool names at work and I write down my favs hahaaaa ((side note, i forgot until way after i created him, but the first guy i kissed at college was named Wren. I did not go anywhere.))

Peter: SOOO you get some bonus Calvin facts here too! Oringally Peter and Calvin were kind of the same character that I turned into two different guys. I had called them Peter kind of as a place holder bc I was reading a lot of Spideypool at the time, and well. You know what happens with placeholder names. Then I redesigned them both, and the demon felt more like a Calvin to me, so vampire boy got to keep the Peter name! In universe, Peter's original last name was something generic like Brown or Smith idk but once he was bit and Maggie started calling him Peter V. Pyre as a joke, it kinda stuck. (Later on, Florence ends up taking the name Pyre as well. Makes things a lot easier for everyone, and she says it feels more 'her')

Ok this is already long so I'm gonna put the rest under a cut!

What inspired you to create your oc?

Ren: My baby boy was my Outer World's Captain! That's how he started, my first play through was as "Ash" but only in name really. Then I finished the game and was like must consume fanfic, which then lead to me developing Ren as his own Boy. I had been working on a lot of lore for Ash and my Fallout 4 OCs! Then I was like "Ohhhhhh no,,,,, sorry my children Ren's my fav right now"

Peter: Cowboy Vampire. Needed one. Also a lot my ocs starts as loosely veiled self inserts so they tend to all be a little similar in like,,, body shape and size so I was like... Beefy cowboy vampire???

Does your oc have any notable skills or good personality traits? Why did you give them those traits? Why do they exist in-universe?

Ren: He's really good at like, being stealthy, because that's how I TRIED to play TOW the first time. I am impatient, so Ren get all the patience I don't have LOL. In Universe I ended incorporating it into his backstory- he's got a bit of a criminal background and learned how to get around unseen and unheard during that time. It helps that he's a small boy :3

Peter: He's got some fun Vampire ~abilities~ that probs vary from story to story bc im too lazy to stick a set of rules. Stuff like being able to see in the dark, and like, idk he's got some good reflexes. Also a heightened sense of smell. Bc of reasons. All of those are just cuz its fun tbh! I also have him being a really good shot with a pistol BEFORE his transformation, so with his reflexes as a vamp he's near unmatched.

Which canon characters (if any) do the oc have bad relationships with? Why those characters?

Ren: In TOW Canon, aside from the obvious, he's got a rough relationship with Max for... most of the story lol. For a while he'd ONLY travel with Max if Parvati was with them as well. She's the only one he wasn't constantly arguing with. Max's "violence is the immediate answer to everything" attitude reminds Ren of some not so great ppl in his past, and after Fallbrook, Max is on Ren's shit list. Max becomes more tolerable to him after Scylla, but Ren still never gets as close to Max as he does the other crew.

Also Lilya Hagen specifically bc she tried to "poison" him once.

Peter: I haven't really figured out a lot of details, but at least in the beginning, he and Calvin have a... tense relationship. Peter wouldn't consider them friends for a while, a work partner maybe. Calvin likes to push Peter's buttons and Peter doesn't really understand at first that Calvin is just having fun. Calvin IS a demon, though, so they know exactly what they're doing. ((Bonus fun fact: Peter is actually legitimately older than Calvin. Peter was born in uhh some time in the 1790s? and Calvin was born in 1933))

Share a random piece of trivia about the creation of your oc. Examples: scrapped ideas or changes you didn't expect to make.

Ren: Ren was supposed to be a lot younger at first! Originally I had him ~25 during the games events, but then as I developed him more i was like.... what if.... older??? A lot of that was inspired by my need to give Felix someone older than him that WOULDN'T fucking betray him in some way. So, you have my love for Felix to thank for Ren's age In turn, because I made him older, I ended up having a lot more time to play with in Ren's pre Halcyon life, which created Johnny.

Peter: Peter's still pretty new so there's not too much I haven't already talked about BUTTT a little peek into the future of Peter's story, I did end up expanding on the Maggie/Peter relationship, and it's part of Peter's eh origin story now~

[vaugarde]

2, 4, 23, 27 and 50 for the oc asks!!

already answered 4!

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

it changes with the week really but rn its predictably castor LMAO. i think abt him a lot

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

first one to come to mind is bates! how she changed is kinda spoilery so ill be vague, she was originally just gonna be comic relief and not important to the prequel at all, just a side character. she's basically crucial to the backstory of the prequel now and is castor's best friend initially (i havent posted art of them yet but!! its been sketched but it got deleted bc it was on a different program but i care abt em so expect em at some point lmao) she's still got a goofy concept in being a merchant that only sells trash but gets just as violent as kecleon if you steal it, but other than that... damn girl

(valerie also sorta counts for this ig but she hasnt really changed at all in terms of Her Deal and personality. its just that she was a side character instead of a main one. she only lasted as a side character for like a day)

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

idk if it counts but goodbye to a world and sad machine by porter robinson inspired me to actually do something with starfall (idea has existed since middle school). so u could say asha and skylar technically hehe. otherwise tho idk ive never heard a song and made an entire character around it. sometimes itll influence what they do or inspire me to tweak their arc tho

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

WAH ok ok so like. once the semester is done (bc holy shit i have way too much to do rn) i may just say fuck it and start writing starfall. im really bad at the outline stage so im thinking if i just write a first draft immediately, then weigh it and do a ton of rewriting and reformatting itll just inspire me to write more and just get it done. im feeling so bad for not posting bc i wanna talk abt these guys in more detail sjdklfjsdf

if not that then im absolutely starting @bugsofpetalroot. that one is very low stakes and will mostly be decided by ask prompts i think, its very laid back slice of life besides the few story arcs i have in mind (which will wait bc i want yall to know the characters first and the first one is pretty heavy) i wanted to do it earlier but i just have wayyy too much going on and i wanna spend my free time on quick stuff like mlp designs.

i also have a pokemon soul silver nuzlocke story i really wanna do!! the run itself is done i just gotta outline and make it fit as an adaptation (tons of characters gotta get cut bc i used a rotation team oof.) hopefully that wont be as difficult tho bc its based on a pre existing setting and stuff. most of the characters are figured out. no idea when its happening tho i have pmd oc brainrot

[happyfunf3tti]

💕💎 for any fixation you like!

thank u squid!!!! austin powers time! this is gonna get long so bear with meeee

📃 first one is abt austin powers getting cryogenically frozen for 30 years after his arch nemesis, dr evil does the same and he struggles adjusting to his new life. autism moment

second movie is abt austin getting his "mojo" stolen and has 2 get it back

third movie: austin has daddy issues

📌 i thought about watching the first movie 4 quite sum time after seeing referencez and people talking about it and quoting it

✨these movies just have a really goofy tone to them. it's very infectious and hard not smile at em. its very rauncy but not too raunchy and it balances it out by being just plain silly. the movies are also funnier if u know james bond and the stuff theyre parodying

🎥 the whole zip it bit is sooper funny

austin powers' introduction

austin making vanessa laugh in the first movie is rly kyoot and the scene where he refuses 2 kiss her while drunk is great and highlights the kind of character he truly is

dr evil scolding mini me for trying to nibble on mini mr bigglesworth XD

dr evil's speech in the parent counseling thing

the godzilla parody scene

the scene where foxxy uses that guy (i forgot his name atm) to speak 4 her by mouthing what shes saying to austin. im still wondering how many takez it took 4 that scene

🎶i honestly don't have a favorite! i just luv all of these songs and i have em in my playlist

BBC

daddy wasnt there

female of the species

soul bossa nova

💕 austin is my fav but im gonna talk about dr evil since i like him just as much as i like austin. hes pretty much austin's opposite in every way. hes villainous and doesnt live the life that austin does. he's sassy sometimes and is genuinely funny. i like his dynamic with scott and hes just all around adorable n awkward. i love how when austin is beating up his henchmen and trying to stop him he still takes the time to feed his cat. talk 2 the hand girlfriend XD

💔 i dont rly have any characterz that i outright hate per say. im personally not a fan with how many toilet humor jokez they drag on with fat man (i know thats not his name but the toy line calls him that 4 obvious reasonz. i'll just give him an actual name.... how abt fergus?)

he can he pretty funny sometimes even if i also dont like the whole "hahaha get it cuz hes fat" jokez...not a fan of those too (disclaimer: imo toilet humor can be funny when its utilized right)

🏳‍🌈 austin is autistic (made a whole autism gifset) and is bi!

🍀 austin is a huge comfort character 4 me which is funny because i normally wouldn't be a fan of characters that are all about intimacy since im ace but hes so dorky and i luv him

💎 the fembots are voiced by wendee lee whos da voice of faye valentine!

half of the stuff in these movies are improvised

mini me's name has sort of a double meaning. not only because hes a miniature version of dr evil (that needz no explanation lolz) but because dr evil sometimes has his pinky out, there's a muscle in that finger that's called a extensor digiti minimi

💢 im still bitter about what happened in the second movie (won't spoil just in case u guyz wanna watch it)

i dont rly like the whole backstory thing in the third movie with the whole spy thing and still dont know how 2 feel abt the big twist in the third movie..

[lonely-dog-song]

I dont have enough gals in my OC roster so I'm gonna make this one a girl now *remembers i was going to kill them*.. oh... epic blow to feminism.....

[bowievanfleet]

it's you [jake kiszka]

pairing: jake x oc (sort of, they have a nickname but y/n still applies!<3)

genre: angstyyy, fluff, enemies to lovers >:)

warnings: mentions of poor mental health and overthinking, cursing, itty bitty tiny mention of skin picking, arguing, emotional whiplash, crying, i am very bad at plot development and dialogue

word count: 4k

inspired by it's u by cavetown :)

a/n: guys!!! its been so long!!!! and i am back with a DOOZY. i don't know what possessed me to write this, maybe the copious amounts of rain we've been getting here is getting to me lmao. but, i am very, VERY happy with how this turned out. this is prob my favorite thing i've written to date. it'll probably be edited/rewritten over time but nothing too dramatic.

also, i'd like to say that the idea to give the reader a nickname to kind of personify them was 100% inspired by the lovely maddie, @hearts-hunger <3 go read her stuff NOW because she's so insanely talented its not even funny. also shoutout to my love @emadamssssssss for helping me out with pepper's backstory. everyone say thank u em!! anyways im done rambling now, i rlly hope u enjoy this. <3

also yes i had to have my little star wars moment at the end. i will not be taking questions or criticisms.

SONGS (v important for this one) its u- cavetown / climing up the walls- radiohead / chinese satellite- phoebe bridgers / i'll be seeing you- billie holiday / lilac wine- nina simone (jeff buckley version also works!)

-----

“oh god, it’s you...”

-----

you genuinely didn’t know why you were there. 

something, maybe an invisible string, or a magnetic field, dragged you to his door at 2 am. you stood in the pouring rain, the water mixing with your own tears pouring down your face. you didn’t have any idea what possessed you to come. you tried to go through the reasons in your head: on the outside, you convinced yourself that he was a last resort, that because no one else was picking up the phone, he was the only one you had left to go to.

“better to be with him than by yourself where you would do something stupid.” you would tell yourself, when in reality, you had only called one other person, josh. who didn’t answer likely because he was passed out on his couch with a bottle of tequila on the coffee table, you knew that was his routine on saturdays. you didn’t have the energy nor courage to call anyone else, which led you to your second reason: 

that realistically, deep inside of you, you knew the reason you had gone to him was because you simply wanted to be with him. you had to do something to satiate the hunger you had been feeling for the past two weeks since you saw him at one of josh’s stupid parties. your body craved him, your mind craved him, every single cell in your body craved him, and it was embarrassing. 

you guessed it was perfect timing, your racing brain giving you a perfect excuse to go to someone. it wasn’t just the fact you wanted to be with him, you needed to be near anyone. if you sat there on your bed, staring at the walls for one more second you knew you were going to break. 

you were overthinking more than you ever had before, mostly about him, but also about everything else. it was all getting too overwhelming, you desperately needed contact with someone, something. it was pathetic to be showing up like this, but what else could you do? text him? “hey, i’ve kinda been thinking about you every single waking moment for the past two weeks, can i come over?” the more you thought about it, the more you realized that even that would’ve been better than standing at his door in the pouring rain. 

you don’t know how long you stood there, contemplating if you should knock or not, 

before he took it upon himself to make the decision for you. you jumped slightly as the door jerked open, earthy eyes taking in your state with a confused and concerned spark in them. 

you were confused as well, until you remembered that doorbells with cameras existed. you looked over to it, silently cursing it. you looked back to the eyes staring at you, and realized what a contrast you two must be. 

he looked the softest you’d ever seen him, in a pair of plaid pajama pants and an old oversized guns n roses shirt. his face had a golden glow to it, courtesy of the various wax warmers and candles that were placed on almost every surface of his home. they reflected off of his eyes, making them seem almost caramel instead of the dark brown you would often see. 

it softened them, turned them from a stony tigers eye to a dark topaz. the sight of him and the energy radiating off of him was almost enough to stop the tears streaming down your face, but then started them all over again as you realized how gentle and beautiful he was. how pathetic was that? his beauty brought tears to your eyes. 

his facade was gone, he was no longer cold and cocky, dark and stoic. he was looking at you like he didn’t want to rip you to shreds for once. 

you had only seen this once before, when he was drunk at josh’s house and you were the only two left in the living room. he was falling in and out of sleep on the couch, and after watching him for a while, you finally trotted over to him and draped a blanket over his half-asleep body. his eyes snapped open at you, but they weren’t hostile. they were almost... loving. appreciative. adoring. 

you went to stand up to go to the guest room, but he caught your hand before you could get too far. you stayed like that for a moment, watching him stare at your hand in his, then with a slow, deliberate stroke of his thumb against your hand, he gently let go. 

he looked at you for a split second, and then rolled over on the couch, bringing the blanket up to his chin and cuddling around it. you spent all night wishing he was beside you in the guest bed.

“...pepper?” he asked tentatively. you were snapped out of your thoughts by the nickname he had assigned to you so long ago. you thought for a second about the stupid name he had reserved for you- 

you were friends with josh for a while before you got introduced to his family. you were college roommates, and one night he finally decided to invite his brothers over for dinner in your apartment. 

you decided you’d make a hearty meal of kraft mac n cheese, but with added seasonings to make it “gourmet” as you and josh liked to call it. 

when you were mixing up all the seasonings, you put in a little too much pepper than needed, but you panicked and just started mixing it around, trying to even it out as much as possible. 

when you awkwardly served everyone, waiting for their reaction, jake was the only one to speak up. “jesus christ this tastes like shit” he said. everyone immediately turned to look at him with wide eyes, surprised and embarrassed that he would be that outright. 

“what?!” he shrugged. “just being honest. if you're gonna make dinner for us at least make it good.” he said, but continued to eat the pasta anyway. 

josh looked at you sympathetically. “it tastes fine y/n, just a little spicy.” he reassured. and it turned out, by the end of the night, everyone’s half eaten bowl of mac n cheese ended up on the counter next to jake's empty one. 

if you had known him better, you would’ve teased him relentlessly. but instead, upon doing the dishes, you smiled fondly at the empty bowl. the first of many small signs that there wasn’t all hostility between you two.

that didn’t make the name stick, however. what made “pepper” become official was at one party the twins had thrown. you and josh were busy setting up everything beforehand, while jake was on a beer run. “what do you wanna start out with?” josh asked, flaring his hands dramatically toward the family’s extravagant vinyl collection. “hmmm...” you debated, kneeling down to scour through the records. once you found what you were looking for you demanded josh to turn around, wanting it to be a surprise. you carefully placed the needle on the black disc, the opening sounds of sgt, pepper’s lonely hearts club band ringing out into the spacious living room. 

josh instantly turned around with a grin, taking your hands in his obnoxiously, the both of you starting to scream out, “IT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO TODAY, SERGEANT PEPPER TAUGHT THE BAND TO PLAY!” 

you loved moments with josh like this, screaming out songs you both loved, not a care in the world. you always felt so alive. that was, until you heard the door open, choosing to ignore it until you saw his figure stalk through the doorway. 

he gave you a simple scoff and an eye roll, before quickly taking the bags in his hands to the kitchen and returning to the living room archway, leaning against it in a manner that made you want to storm over there and kick him. 

“you’re just pepper all the way around aren’t you?” he teased, you flipping him off while josh muttered a “shut the fuck up, jake.” 

you started toward the kitchen to start setting the drinks out, jaw clenched in irritation. 

why did he have to ruin everything? you were having a great time with josh, your own sunshine, before the rain had to storm in and drown it out. 

“awe, did i make you upset, pepper? i’m sorry.” he mocked, fake pity in his tone. “just fuck off.” you gritted, tring to focus on getting the drinks set out. “of course pepper, anything for you.” he teased, raising his hands in surrender and stalking off somewhere else in the house. 

-

you stared at each other for a long while, almost talking with your eyes. 

after a moment, his flashed with a gentleness you had never before seen in your entire time of knowing him, not even that night on the couch, and the only thing you knew, right then and there, was that you needed to be in his arms. 

you let out a shaky exhale, “jake-” you sobbed, all but lunging toward him. your body crashed into his, your arms winding around his middle and your head finding a home in his neck. 

he stood frozen for a second, obviously not expecting your sudden action, but after half a second of hesitation, he closed his eyes and let you melt into him, wrapping his own hands around you slowly, one belting around your lower back to keep you upright and the other going to the back of your head, threading through your hair and scratching your scalp lightly. 

he would switch between scratching your head once he figured out you liked it, and slowly rubbing his hand over your hair, smoothing it down. 

the two actions made you cry even harder, your hands finding their way up his body and around his neck, trying to get as close as humanly possible to him. if you had it your way, you would melt your body into his. you wanted to mold him for the rest of time, to never ever let go, to always have his body pressed to yours. 

you knew this was the worst thing you could ever do, because the second this was over, you’d never be able to live without touching him again. you’d need it like you need air to breathe. every second of every day you'd need it. how would you be able to go on after this? constantly craving his arms around you, his hands anywhere and everywhere on you, his breath letting out soft puffs against your skin. you didn’t want to even think about it right now, so you let him hold you while you held him. 

he must’ve felt the same way about letting go, so instead of pulling away, he took his arm off your back to close the door softly, immediately returning it. 

he walked backwards to the couch, sitting you down without ever loosening his grip on you. he laid back, pulling you with him as he pushed your face gently into his chest, giving you something to cry on. 

you laid there for what felt like hours, even though it was probably only ten minutes, before all that was audible anymore was your occasional sniffle and his gentle breathing. 

“y/n...?” he whispered, still stroking your hair. “yeah?” you squeaked, bracing yourself for the arguing and embarrassment and teasing to start. but it never did. 

“what happened?” he asked, concern evident in his voice and you knew he genuinely cared about your response. but that scared you. why would he care about your feelings? it surprised you that he was even touching you right now, let alone asking about you. 

it was an act of human decency that he usually didn’t show. jake kiszka couldn’t give two fucks about anyones feelings excpet maybe his brothers’.  

you leaned up on your hands, hovering over him. you stared at each other again, his hands finding a home on your back, yours resting on either side of his face. you slowly sat up, forcing his arms to drop from you. 

“i’m sorry. i don’t know why i came here. just- no one else was answering and it was all getting too much and i just didn’t know where else to go and-” 

“hey.” he interrupted, grabbing your hands from where they came up to cover your face. “i don’t want you to apologize i just.. want to know why you came to me.” he said, trying to choose his wording carefully. 

you chewed on your lip, trying to come up with an answer before you realized the only one you had come up with involved being vulnerable, and you were absolutely not in the right state for vulnerability right now, despite the fact you had just cried into his chest. 

you got up and walked to the kitchen, searching for water and trying to buy a few minutes. you knew exactly where he kept them, so you grabbed one and went back to sit on the couch, further away from him this time. he noticed this, a flash of disappointment coming over his face. 

he looked at you as you drank your water and set it down, being the most patient you’ve ever seen him. 

you stared at nothing for a moment, noticing how his hands clenched and unclenched, as if he was yearning to touch you again. you were yearning too, but you couldn’t touch him again until you knew for certain that this wouldn’t be the only time.

“jake...” you trailed, both of your eyes holding so much intensity. he gave a look of realization, finally reaching to grab your hands like he had been so desperate too. you flinched away instinctively, you were going to keep your word on not touching him again. you started to get frustrated, “why do you all of a sudden care so much? you should’ve just fucking told me to go home the minute you saw me.” 

that cold facade slipped back on his face, a look of confusion and disappointment taking his face. “did you just want me to leave you out there in the fucking rain?! cause i would’ve been glad to do that if you really wanted me to, you should've just said so.” 

“well you’ve never cared before!” 

“i’m not heartless y/n!!” he hissed, pointing an accusing finger at you. 

“you think i am but I'm not. i just don’t see the point in wearing it on my fucking sleeve all the time.” that hurt. you’d always been a very outwardly emotional person, it was one of your biggest weaknesses, and to hear it being used against you stung like hell. he saw that comment affected you but he kept going. 

“if i was heartless, i wouldn’t have sat here and fucking held you like i did. as much as i fucking hate touching you, i did it to comfort you. because i'm not as cold as you think i am y/n.” your head snapped up, something he said catching your attention. 

“why do you hate touching me?” you inquired, brows furrowed. he shut his eyes for a second, before he dodged the question. 

trying to be as soft as he could again, he spoke, “why did you come here, pepper?” 

you thought for a second. “i don’t know. i just needed someone. i couldn’t be by myself anymore.” 

“why not?” he questioned, curiosity gleaming in his eyes. 

“because my mind would’ve driven me insane.” you admitted, looking down at your hands in your lap, picking at your nails. 

you were hyper-aware of the fact that you were slowly drifting more and more towards him. 

“what were you thinking about?” he questioned softly. 

“jake i can’t do this right now. i can’t talk about this.” 

“then i ask again, why did you come here?!” he almost begged for an answer. you finally looked back up at him, trying to distract yourself with the melting chocolate of his eyes. somehow he must’ve known your answer, he could always read you like an open book. 

he could tell that you two were on the same page, you just weren’t ready to be that vulnerable with him. so, he gave you a head start.

“you wanna know why i hate touching you?” he asked, his voice tense. you sniffled and gave a nod. he leaned in closer to you.

“because you, you are so fucking addicting that if i touch you i almost can’t let go. you have no idea how hard it was to let you go just now. i’m so hopelessly desperate for you, pepper. now, i have a good idea of why you came here. but i need to hear you say it, baby.” the pet name pushed you over the edge, and before you knew it, the tears were back and you were babbling out your confession. 

“it’s you, jake. it’s always been you.” you sobbed, leaning forward to press your forehead to his chest. he finally reached up to your hair again, almost audibly breathing a sigh of relief when his hands finally made contact with you again. 

“and i’m scared. i’m so scared of how i feel right now. its a need- i need you. i need to be near you. but i can’t- we can’t. we’re not good for eachother, we never have been jake. we bring out the worst in each other.” 

“i know, i know.” he soothed. “i feel it too y/n, i’ve always felt it. from the moment i saw you. it’s terrifying.” he agreed, and all you could muster was a small nod in understanding. 

“you make me want to be better. sometimes that feels good, the fact that i can change for you, to make you happy. but a lot of the time... it feels like it’ll never be enough.” he confessed. “jake, i don’t expect you to change for me. i don’t want you to.” he soaked in the words, leaning down to rest his cheek on the top of your head. 

“you know, i think you bring out the best in me. you know damn well i wouldn’t do this with anyone else.” he chuckled. you let out a small laugh too, leaning more into his chest. “jake im so scared. t-this feeling... it's so strong, too strong. why do you do this to me?” you begged. “i could ask you the same thing.” he said, hugging you tighter. 

“we have so much to work out before we can do anything. i mean we can't even go 10 minutes without arguing. jake we hurt each other too much.” you reasoned, trying to convince yourself more than him. 

“love is supposed to hurt, isn't it?” he countered. 

love.

you knew that’s what it was, you were just far too scared to actually address it. loving someone that had been heartless and selfish to you for the past 7 years wasn’t possible. but if it wasn’t,  then why did you feel the need to have his body near yours at all times? there was a part of you, and you could feel it in him too, that needed to have the pain soothed by him. it was like a fire burning in your stomach, and he was the water to put it out. his arms were where you were supposed to be. forever.

“we can’t walk away from this anymore, baby.” he added, making your body shake again with sobs. that's all you wanted to do. you wanted to run away and never see him again. 

that way, maybe the fire would die out and leave tiny embers that could be satiated by someone else. but you knew. you knew no one could put it out but him. he was the only one that possessed the right water to extinguish the flame of yearning in you. and you knew you were the only one to put out his.

and so, you let him hold you as you cried for the second time that night, grabbing at each other to get impossibly closer. you knew there was no going back now, that you were about to walk off the diving board and never get back up. but you wanted it. you knew you needed it. 

“there’s too much going against us.” you borderline begged. begged him to find a way out of this, begged him to push you away, to kick you out, to do something to  stop it. vulnerability was your worst enemy. 

“pepper. look at me.” he demanded, forcing your head up with your chin tucked between his fingers. “something has been drawing me to you for nearly 7 years. i’m not walking away from it now that we’ve finally got it out in the open. we have to move on. what’s past is past, and what we have now is everything we need. what are you scared of, darling?” he asked gently. 

“...vulnerability.” you admitted. he let out a sigh, maneuvering you so you were in his lap. “it's scary isn’t it, pepper?” he soothed, running a run up and down your back. you nodded pathetically. curling into him more. 

“you know what irritates me the most about you?” he asked, but not hostile. you scoffed. “everything?” you guessed. 

“no. not everything. there's a million little tiny things, but not everything. the biggest one though, is no matter how hard you try, you can't hide. no matter how much you duck and run, i would be able to pull you out of a crowd of a million people. no matter how hard you try to keep your head down and blend with other people, you can’t, not to me. you stand out like a goddamn star. that's what irks me the most." he said softly. 

“am i supposed to take that as a compliment?” you laughed. 

“mhm. it’s painful for me but you should know. sometimes i feel like you and me are the only two people in the room. you drown everyone else out.” he confessed as your eyes filled up with tears again, but not sadness this time. 

this time, it was an overwhelming blanket of love that draped over you. 

the relief that you were wanted by him. that you stood out to him as much as he did to you. you lifted your face from its place on its chest, resting your chin there instead so you were looking up at him. 

he softly took a strand of damp hair from your cheek, tucking it into place behind your ear. “see? i was vulnerable with you. now its your turn.” he encouraged lightly. 

you looked up at him for a second more. the words were on the tip of your tongue, running through your brain over and over again- iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou 

you finally found your voice: 

“i think i love you, jake.” you stated, voice faltering near the end. he cupped your jaw in his hand, 

“i know.” he nodded, his eyes filling with tears too as your hands threaded through his hair, clutching at every part of him you could reach, as your lips finally melted into his.