#like i'm literally not normal about this i want the fucking backpack

[watchfuldeer]

greg hirsch, succession season 1 props

[rottenpumpkin13]

Cloud becomes tiny, who out of ASGZ is the one responsible for it?

• Genesis being the responsible and sane-minded individual he is decided to teach Cloud, his student, about the joys of transform materia.

• How does he do this? By stealing a classified transform materia from the materia research department and bringing it to a lesson.

Cloud: uuuuh are you sure about this? It sounds dangerous.

Genesis: Will you calm down?? If there's anyone qualified to handle this it's yours truly. Besides, it's only for a minute or two, and you'll be able to better understand your targets disadvantaged perspective.

Cloud: .....Will it hurt?

Genesis: Like a bitch, but I know what I'm doing. Stand still now, will you?

Cloud: Wait! I changed my—

• Genesis did not, in fact, know what he was doing.

• There's a frantic knock on the door of Angeal's apartment. Angeal stops stirring the pot of soup. Sephiroth stops chipping the vegetables. There's another wave of banging on the door. Angeal and Sephiroth look at each other and sigh.

• They open the door and Genesis is standing there disheveled. His clothes are in disarray and he's holding a tiny toddler with spiky blonde hair in his arms.

Genesis: I FUCKED UP

Angeal: WHO'S CHILD DID YOU STEAL???

Genesis: THIS IS CLOUD

Sephiroth: Strife?

Genesis: YES

Angeal: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM??

• Genesis proceeds to go on a barely intelligible tangent about how he stole a transform materia from the R&R labs and cast it on Cloud during a transform materia lesson.

• When he's done Angeal punches him in the face.

• Sephiroth snatches tiny Cloud away from Genesis and proceeds to hold him as one would a contaminated potato sack, with his arms outstretched as he slips back into the apartment.

Sephiroth: Better to deal with this inside rather than be a victim to a Turk's prying eyes.

• While Angeal finishes screaming at Genesis, Sephiroth places Cloud on the couch and stands back. He observes as Cloud starts playing with his own feet and observing his surroundings.

• He turns back to Angeal and Genesis and the three start discussing what to do. Genesis is 70% sure the cast only lasts 24 hours but that suspicion is overshadowed by his 30% certainty that it's a faulty materia and the cast is permanent.

• Angeal punches him in the face again.

• Sephiroth wants to suggest they take him to the labs, but ultimately decides against it since Hojo would likely dissect the child.

• Angeal suggests they contact Cloud's mother in Nibelheim and take him to her until the spell wears off..... if the spell wears off.

• Genesis says the safest thing to do is to keep Cloud under close observation between the three of them until he's back to normal.

Angeal: And how long will that be, Genesis???? *points at Cloud* That doesn't look like it'll go away in a few hours!

Sephiroth: I'll contact Fair. Four hands will work better than three.

Angeal, scooping up baby Cloud in his arms: I'll run Cloud a bath. Poor thing's covered in soot.

Genesis: And what am I supposed to do?

Angeal & Sephiroth: YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH.

• Zack received the text "Come quick. Genesis has turned Cloud into a child" one minute and is quite literally beating the apartment door down the next.

• He's bouncing right into the place with a backpack and an arm full of stuff claiming "I've come prepared! I've been waiting for this moment for ages!"

Genesis: For what? For me to fuck up and turn one of you into a tot with transform materia???

Zack: Yup!

Genesis: *facepalm*

Zack: So where's baby Cloudy???

Sephiroth: In the bathroom. Angeal's bathing him.

Zack: Sweet! I brought bath toys! *runs off*

• Once they're alone Sephiroth punches Genesis in the face.

• They spend the rest of the day fussing over baby Cloud and taking care of him. Angeal makes all the kid-friendly food and snacks he can think of. But feeding Cloud is a hassle because he's a spitter. This is how Angeal ends up with a face full of mashed potatoes.

• Zack, who's brought over all of his own childhood toys, plays with Cloud until the apartment is a mess and Cloud is totally sleepy.

• Genesis steps up to the plate and tries to put the kid to bed. He grabs a book of fairy tales from his personal collection, then sits on the couch with Cloud, who's burrito'd in a cloud-print blanket Angeal conveniently had.

• He's a pro at being an entertaining and narrates using funny voices and dramatic intonation. This only serves to make Cloud laugh and soon enough he's wide awake again.

Angeal: YOU HAD ONE JOB, GENESIS.

Genesis, sobbing: I'M TRYING

• Sephiroth has an...idea. He picks up Cloud and sits in the armchair. Then Sephiroth starts gently rocking the kid back and forth, all while Cloud is playing with Sephiroth's hair strands.

• Angeal, Zack and Genesis all gather around and watch in awe as Sephiroth begins to hum.

• His tone is deep yet comforting, and the tune is slow and melodic. Cloud's tiny hands go limp with Sephiroth's hair still tangled between his fingers.

• Cloud's eyes start to close as he yawns.

• Soon enough everyone is asleep. Genesis is passed out on the couch, Zack and Angeal are curled up on the floor, and Sephiroth has fallen asleep with Cloud.

• The next morning, a full-sized Cloud wakes up to find himself back to normal. The guys all wake up, relieved to see he's back to normal, then proceed to explain what happened.

• After shamefully unfurling himself from Sephiroth's lap, Cloud shakes off the childish blanket.

• Cloud then punches Genesis in the face.

[moonlit-escape]

★彡 ˙🌱. ¡! Vylad Mystreet headcanons !!

the second character i fell in love with. how cruel it is that he has fuck all going for him. I'll fix that.

pansexual (actually this one is just canon) (cole petty ily)

will try anything once

will put anything in his mouth

can sleep literally anywhere

i think this man might be the most laid-back, flexible person on the planet.

except towards geese because fuck those things

any time he has slept in a park he has made sure there were no geese around because those fuckers have stolen his stuff before and made him watch as they drowned it

listens to the most underground shit you've never heard and it all slaps (i didnt add this kind of stuff to his playlist though bc i wanted it to. make sense.)

also just listens to underrated music in general (includes just underrated songs from super popular bands)

currently holds an award for being the "funniest man on mystreet" and he didn't even have residency there

kind of has random visions about his friends in his sleep, but he just thinks they're normal dreams and that he misses his friends a lot (oh little does he know.)

used to say the most cryptic shit as a kid and freak his brothers out

being friends with vylad as a kid mustve been the weirdest experience. the kid eats glue, dirt, and moss, befriends frogs, crows, and moths, tells you you've suffered immense turmoil in a past life completely sincerely, and then infodumps about the entire history and process of typewriters for some fuckin reason

im 100% sure all three of the boys have autism and they got it from zianna

while he doesn't really want to connect himself to the ro'meave name (mainly bc of garte), he does love his family to death and sends his mom and brothers post cards every once in a while (when he remembers, mostly)

doesn't really reach out to his family any other way and neither do they. which he understands; communication is a two-way street

knows how to fish with nothing but a shoestring and a good fuckin stick

Loves pickin up good fuckin sticks

also cool rocks

he collects cool rocks from all the places he visits and keeps them in an old jewelry box. he keeps special ones he plans on giving to his friends in the top part of it

always making friends with stray dogs, cats, rats, raccoons, and opossums. someone stop him

has a johnny stein hotel transylvania relationship with his backpack (it literally has everything he owns in it)

knows how to fix and alter clothes

he knows how to do a lotta shit, alright. i don't think you'll find a craftier little guy than vylad ro'meave

except when it comes to fixing a water heater or anything to do with pipes or electrical tbh he hasn't lived in a house in a While

i'm obsessed w the idea that zane had spent so much time and effort trying to get gene to notice him meanwhile vylad enters gene's peripherals for 2.5 seconds and gene's like I Want Him. poor vylad can't get on zane's better side for shit

owns a few skirts and dresses and high-heeled boots because he can wear whatever he wants

goes to ren faires whenever he can honestly. sometimes as a job!

when his hair gets too long he ties it back into a low ponytail or pigtails until he can get it cut again

wears weird and funky socks

he absolutely has a roblox account

[smellydano]

Hiii! I'm back again with one request! This time with our favorite greasy boy Brian Wilcox from Fast Food Nation!

So I was thinking about Brian gets off of work sooner than the other days and lovely reader (afab and female) goes to pick him up to go for a drink or something but Brian as the Pervy boy he is just wants to have sex with reader and relieve all of his stress, so they ended doing in the car on a lonely alley or street.

(Also I would love so much if Brian is into spanking and you know like super pervy hehe, and one last thing! Reader can be hyper feminine (yes, again, sorry:c) and shy? Thank you!💟💟💟) -🧸

late night drive || brian wilcox

sorry this literally took forever ,, i loved this request so i tried to tweak and edit it as much as i could LOL

warnings: unprotected sex, mdni, car sex, spanking, lmk if i should add more !!

synopsis: after picking up brian for a drive after work, he has something in mind.

word count: 1231

you pull your car into the parking lot of mickey’s, watching as him and another coworker lock up for the night. brian has gotten used to working the shitty closing shifts from being in college, but nights like these really made him wish he’d quit this stupid job. it’s been non-stop asshole after asshole, according to brian as he hopped into the passenger seat of your car. He’d already had his mickey’s uniform shoved into his backpack, wearing his usual black tee, jeans and zip-up hoodie, one you’ve stolen on many occasions.

“i’m just so done, with all of that.” he grumbled as he gestured his middle finger towards the building as you drove by. you chuckled as you kept driving down the crowded street. He tossed his backpack into the backseat of your car. You quietly drove away from town as brian’s hand trailed up your thigh, carefully touching your pink plaid skirt. You knew it drove him crazy, especially when you paired it with your tight-fitting white crop top, perfectly displaying your tits.

“did you want to grab a drink or something? my treat.” you questioned, looking over at him. brian grew a smirk, gripping your thigh once more.

“i was thinking, maybe we do something else?” you knew what he wanted, but you weren’t going to let him have it so easy.

“what else did you have in mind, bry?” his tense shoulder shift down as he heard the nickname you always called him, he’s a sucker for it and any pet name you give him. it makes him love you even more.

“drive to our usual spot.” he said without another word, and you followed his orders. you and brian had a specific spot down by a nearby lake you’d usually park at, in the warmer months you go swimming and hang out under a tree, and in the colder months you gather in the backseat of whoever’s car you take.

as soon as you get to lake, you put the car in park and turn over to him. he immediately pulls you in for a heated kiss. you moaned out of shock, placing your hand on his knee. “turn off the car and get in the back.” he breathed out, you nodded and followed his orders, quickly climbing into the backseat. he chuckled as he got out of the car and opened the back door. he tossed his bag up to the front seat, to make more room.

“you come pick me up and tease me like this? in the skirt you know i love, and your tits, holy fuck.” he was overwhelmed with lust, as well as love, but in this moment, it’s all lust. he grabbed your boobs roughly, lowering your top and twisting your taut nipples around. you whined into his ear, muffling them to stay quiet. “i want to hear you, babe. every noise you make.”

“perv.” you snickered, running your hands around his waist. you pulled yourself closer towards him, climbing into his lap. as if it was a normal position, his hands swiftly wrap around your waist. you ran your fingers through his dark hair, tugging slightly as his face went to your neck. he nipped at your skin, he loves to leave bites all across your body, but his favourite was your neck. so soft, so pretty with the marks against it.

“please bry, i need you.” you whined again, without missing a beat, he lifted your skirt up and slid your panties to the side. you rubbed yourself onto his groin, the feeling of his hard cock pressed against the rough denim of his jeans was breathtaking. you continued rutting your hips against him, moaning out into his shoulder. he grabbed your hips roughly and helped you move.

brian couldn’t take the teasing anymore, he needed to be inside you. he lifted his hips as you lifted your body as well, making it easier to slip his pants down to his knees. you watched as he pumped himself a few times before placing his hand up to your mouth. “spit.” he demanded. you looked into his eyes and spit in his hand.

“god, fuck you’re so hot.” he said as he watched the spit trail from your lips, he gripped his cock and pumped it, letting you back onto his lap. with his other hand, he gently toyed with your clit. “you’re so wet, i wanna fuck you right now.” he groaned as he made sure your thong was pushed to the side. he guided his tip against your hole, you sank onto him like it was second nature. he gave you time to adjust to his size, then you slowly started bouncing. brian was a grunting, moaning mess underneath you. he gripped your hips as his met yours, slamming into you at a quick pace. he gathers your skirt up in his hand, then lays a couple harsh spanks on your ass.

you squealed, wrapping your arms around his neck, holding on for dear life. his thrusts bounced the car, thankfully, no one ever comes to this lake. especially in the colder months.

you muffled as many moans and cries as you could into his neck, you didn’t like being super loud during sex, and brian knows exactly how to make you feel good. so, needless to say, you need to keep it toned down. plus, you were always shy when it came to sex. you were pulled from your thoughts when brian pulled on your hair, lifting your head.

“i want to hear you.” he demanded. he started leaving bites and hickies across your neck and collarbones, you couldn’t help but let out a loud moan. your cheeks turned red with embarrassment, but your moans made him go faster. he says another harsh slap on your ass before gripping it roughly. “fuck, you have a nice ass.”

he kept spanking you, making you cry out for longer. you felt the burning in your stomach start to get closer, grabbing brian’s shoulders so hard, little crescents from your nails left imprints. “bry, please i-i think i’m gonna cum.”

“do it, babe. cum on my cock.”

his words immediately triggered your orgasm, your cunt squeezing his cock as you rode out your high. his thrusts kept going until they became sloppier, cumming inside you. you felt the warm ropes cost your insides, making you shudder.

you pulled yourself off his cock, the feeling of his cum spilling out of your cunt making your eyes roll back. you say yourself on his lap as he grabbed the clean hand towel you keep in the car for this moment. he cleaned both of you up, then you flipped over to the other seat in the back. you caught your breath before scooting over to brian, cuddling into him instantly.

he smiled and wrapped an arm around you, placing a kiss on your head. “we should probably head back to your place. i want to go to bed.” he whispered against your ear, laying his head on your shoulder. you nodded, both of you started getting dressed and cleaning up the backseat. you both get into the front of the car and made your way to your place, brian yawning in the passenger seat. you soon made it to your place, the night ended in a bunch of cuddles and kisses.

——

this came out different than i meant it to,, but i don’t hate it ,, i hope u liked it anon :3

ty for reading :3 requests always open ,, likes/reblogs and comments are always appreciated!! :D

[tachimichishrine]

<yall... hear me out.... why do i kinda prefer bottomless bram... been thinking abt him a lot... guys... guys someone... someone please tell me im not losing my mind here...>

"ride me"

⫭◦⨝◦⫬

bram stoker x gn! reader

warnings: nsfw/absolute crack i don even know what i just wrote ngl

what to do when you're horny but your boyfriend has no dick?

what to do when you're horny but your boyfriend has no fingers?

or thighs

or body

or anything

it's really hard to be dating a head

"bram, baby, I'm horny."

"sorry about that."

"😐"

dating a head is REALLY hard

"babe, babe, there's this fair in town, I really wanna go!"

"prepare the backpack" 😼

people gave you weird stares as you carried around a talking head in a baby carrier, and then leaning down to kiss him 🌝

he likes to be put in flower vases because it makes him feel pretty, but obviously doesn't like sunlight 😣

by now, your arms are so strong from carrying him all the time that people ask you if you're a body builder😪

"do you work out?"

"no I just carry my boyfriend everywhere."

"that sounds pretty childish of him, I'd break up with mine if he did that."

"he's not childish. just... incomplete."

the person would leave, and you would pull him out of your backpack like, "dang, sorry about that. you know I love you."💓

his rbf is on all the time

he's so blunt and for WHAT ⁉⁉⁉⁉

"did I ever tell you that I love your eyes, they're so gorgeous, darling."

he doesn't respond, just "mnn" and stares at you with the same rbf 😍

but, whether he admits it or not, he really appreciates you, and he has the softest rare smiles that just make you go 🥰🥰🥰

affection is not his strong point but when he does get soft and cuddly and lets you run your fingers through his hair, he's the absolute king of verbal reassurance and compliments that don't feel fake at all.

but then again if you start to braid his hair he literally can do nothing to stop you ☠☠☠

if things get spicy, things get complicated

you'd think that making out with a head is relatively normal, since the mouth and tongue are still there, but NOPE

words cannot describe how weird it is to carry someone while kissing them but also not being able to feel their body because there is none???

needless to say he is a sub

no bc this man couldn't dom if he wanted to, he can't even move by himself what did you expect???

he looks tired the entire time 🕴

he makes up (sort of) for his lack of... everything with his tongue game

low sex drive because 1) has no genitals so I don't think he could get hard, 2) PLS THIS GUY JUST WANTS TO SLEEP AND LISTEN TO MUSIC, NOTHING ELSE 😭😭

however, he does really love you and everything you do for him, so if you want to experiment, he's totally fine with that, it's not like he hasn't been through worse

oh and teasing him DOESN'T WORK 👩‍🦯👩‍🦯👩‍🦯

once you tried S&M and tied up his mouth, trying to get him to beg, but, once again, he's kinda indifferent

"could you please refrain from choking me, i don't even have lungs or the need to breathe."

so most of the time it's just a question of face-fucking him

if you cum in his mouth it's literally going to pass down his throat and then it's just going to splatter on the ground anyways because... he's a head 🤓

one time, you'd just gotten so crazily worked up and needed him to fuck you, so you suggested letting him fuck you... with. his. ear.

LOOK AT THOSE THINGS THEY'RE POINTY AF TELL ME THAT THEY AREN'T FUCKABLE

you set him up so that he was facing sideways on the bed, just got on top, and rode that mf 💃💃

now he has cum in his ears and he's not sure how you're going to get it out

that's how you ended up spending the night using cotton swabs to get your cum out of his ears, and that's not exactly a story you like to tell people a lot 🗿

[mostautisticangel]

vent post about my shitty life and my shitty mom

so during the pandemic i discovered i was most likely adhd and autistic. since then I've just self-diagnosed. It explains a lot of things going on with me.

Most of such things are interactions with my mother. Specifically my mother. I think my dad might be autistic but i'm not sure. he's not as bad as mom but he's still a shitty parent.

So my mother is the absolute peak of Strict Republican Christian Homeschooling White Mom. Every stereotype you can think of, she has (except having like 6 kids, THANK GODDESS). And that means that I, a queer autistic creature, do not fit into her picture perfect little Good Christian Family.

Ever since I was little I was obviously neurodivergent. I was every single stereotype except the fact I was a girl. I went to public school for two years: preschool and kindergarten.

Turns out, I was """gifted""" wow! not like that phrase means anything to autistic people! So mom signed me up for this fancy hybrid private school. I went two days a week, wore the ugliest fucking uniform you've ever seen, and all the kids thought i was weird.

I don't remember much of it (thank goddess) except how much i hated it. I went there for two years. then mom found this homeschool community group thing and signed me up. I've been in it since 3rd grade. we buy the books, do the assigned work, and meet with the community once a week.

I forgot to mention my dad is in the military, so we moved a lot. a LOT. my current best friend i haven't even known for a year. i've never been friends with anyone for longer than 3 years. But military brat trauma is a separate post this is about my neurodivergence.

(I wont be naming specific states for privacy so bear with me) The first place we lived since joining this group was okay. I met some people, two of which i think were neurodivergent, the rest were typical Christian kid assholes.

I specifically remember this one girl who was my friend (well, what 9 year old me thought was a friend) who was really nice to me and seemed to like me but she always insulted my interests and called me weird.

There was this other boy, who i still know and is still an asshole. He would literally go through my backpack and take out my stuff and bully me for it. I used to take stuffed animals and my little pony fanfiction to school to show my one nice (probably neurodivergent) friend. What kind of person does that. what the fuck.

so we moved away from there and to a new place. this was at the end of 2019. we bought an rv, thinking we'd only be in this stae for 18 months, and we could travel! we could go up to canada!

i was already MASSIVLEY against the idea of the rv. when my mom made the announcement i BROKE INTO TEARS. i still remember it. i am very emotionally attached to my Things, and having lots of Things makes me happy. the thing about rv living is that you don't have Things.

I'm just now realizing this is like a trauma cocktail i have. we have queer kid trauma, autistic kid trauma, van life kid trauma, military brat trauma, going through tween years during covid trauma, christian kid trauma, living in The South trauma, you want it come get it folks.

anyways, i had to put all my shit in a storage unit and was never the same. i legit blacked out most of the time in the rv because of how fucking horrible it was. i just sat in my room on my goddamn kindle fire all day because mom wouldn't let me have a phone.

At this point in my life, i was a gacha kid. no no, don't panic, i was a normal one. i thank my lucky stars for that. so i decided, fuck it, secret youtube channel. here's the thing: we werent allowed youtube. at all. under any circumstances. still arent. technically we're not allowed any internet use besides like google or something. because everyone on the internet is a pedophile.

I also ended up getting discord. i had so much fun. i made so many friends and one of them invited me to join a queer server. this is where i got better.

being a Sheltered Homeschooled Kid, I didn't know much. i say much as opposed to anything because i watched she-ra and s1 of the owl house was out so yeah. i knew they existed. but not much.

so i learned lots of new terms and went "hey! i might be one of these!" idr my first label, I think it was pan. which was actually right. at the time i was %100 convinced i was cis. i even made jokes about it. then one day the egg cracked and i was like "oh im transmasc." i also adopted the aroace label by then.

one of my old friends from that old homeschool group reached out to me and asked if i knew about discord. she thought we would be able to play minecraft together over it. i said yes. i invited her to the server. she was really nice and respectful and found out some things about herself.

but her parents went through her phone, found out, and called my mom. cue the trauma.

i remember this so distinctly. that night, both of my parents yelled at me for """talking to strangers on the internet""" I'd lose all my devices for a month. which was insane because what else was I supposed to do? all my stuff was in the storage unit.

the next morning i got a yelling at because """gay people are bad"""" thank GODDESS they found out in that tiny window of time i identified as cis but asexual. if they thought i was trans or queer i'd be dead. (i am trans AND queer. i have no doubt that they wouldn't disown me if they knew.)

then she went through my yt channel and boy oh boy did i get lucky. she only watched a few videos. she watched the one of me making my intro. i used the song "honeypie" bc i thought it was vibey and funky. mom got mad because "you know this is a song about sex, right?" blew my little 12 year old mind. im autistic i'm so fucking bad at metaphors. so fucking bad. then she just told me to delete it. so i did.

and my main oc was supposed to be a boy but for some reason she didn't say anything? he wasn't even a femboy he was very masc looking with a masc name. so. weird. then again, my mom thought fucking Wriothesley from genshin impact was "trying to look like a girl" so who knows whats going on in that head of hers (fr tho?? WRIO?!?! HUH?? IS IT CAUSE OF THE EARRINGS??? IM SO CONFUSED LITERALLY HOW??? dont show her venti ig)

so i just gave up trying by then.

mom got much more aggressive in the rv. she yelled at us for almost every tiny little thing.

and my new class? hell. jail. hate them all. (except you caleb you were a sweetheart.) there was stereotypical racist sexist homophobic country boy who borderline sexually assaulted me so thats fun. (whats more fun is that he's coming to visit this summer! la-dee-fucking-da!!!) a weeb with concerning opinions on women, and just the most autistic fella you've ever met. that was caleb. ily caleb you were the only one keeping me sane. he liked to talk about his lizards and his goats and lord of the rings and i could listen for hours. i mightve been in love.

the teacher was nice though. she was the racist country boy's mom. i say "teacher" but she was just like the one in charge of making sure we all followed the curriculum. our own parents were our actual teachers. still, that class was a nightmare. for three years i had to endure it. AND WE WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE RV FOR 18 MONTHS. FUCKING LIARS.

anyways we moved to my grandparents so my dad could find a non-military job and we could buy a house. i joined a local volunteer program and met my current best friends, @aubreymonobry and @tboymagnus i literally love you guys so much you don't know how much you saved meeeeee <3

we had fun. i moved away again once dad got a job and we got a house. i joined a new class. same program, new people. we had: peak annoying gen z boy, most basic white girl you've ever met (affectionate) girl with highly concerning views, and guy who i am literally in love with hnggg he is so silly and goofy RAHHHH and actually nice and respectful im gonna dieeee <3

so now i'm here. im not going back to that class. im doing %100 homeschooling next semester. BUT i dont have to learn latin anymore and i wont have to read a book a week so thats good. ive been learning how to mask better and i think its working. i got all my stuff back and have cluttered up my room to the max and i actually feel happy again. sure, mom might be worse than ever and the career path i'm studying for is absolute shit and the economy is in shambles and i might get murdered for literally existing and i live on the whims of my borderline alchoholic and emotionally abusive mother BUT WE STAY SILLY! I AM OKAY!!! I WILL MAKE IT!!!! I WILL MOVE OUT AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE SOON!!!! I HAVE MY FRIENDS! AND THE SILLY LITTLE GAY PEOPLE ON MY PUTER!!!

i might revisit this post a few years later and add on to it. for now, im just a silly teenager doing things that make me happy and doing my best to survive. i think that's the best i can do

if you read this far, wow thanks, friend. :3 hope you have a good day <3

[rpking99]

BOOM! Megazords!

So BIG NERD TALK time!

Been a while, huh guys?

Well with BOOM! Studios ending their Power Rangers comic book continuity with Darkest Hour later this month (and seriously, they have a LOT to fix into this story. Like the arc has been dragged out so long, but now there's an ending they've just slammed their foot on the accelerator and it feels like some things aren't even close to being talked about elf alone concluded) I just felt... Time to do another one of these

Now some of you may remember on my old blog, where I did three big nerd talk posts gushing about BOOM!'s original ranger designs, a post Ill definitely want to explore and expand (and make a singular post) once the series is done. But right now? ... Time to be negative

Because while BOOM! has been nailing it with their ranger designs.... Their original megazords have been crap.

And I am not talking about the amazingness of the Gravezord. Ranger Slayer's baby is amazing since it's a stand alone robot literally made our if destroyed parts, it's design works and makes sense in universe

It is a literal scrapyard fused together. The main body is the White Tiger Zord with the Yellow Griffon Thunder Zord's shell as a claw on the left arm, the Pink Firebird Thunder Zord's wings as wings, Tor the Shuttle Zord's head as a helmet and face, the Blue Unicorn Thunder Zord's front plate as a shoulder pad for the right shoulder, and the Red Dragon Thunder Zord having it's head and crotch plate turned into a buckler/sword combo on the right arm, and it's warrior mode shoulder as a shoulder pad on the left shoulder

It is literally spare parts showen together

No

What I'm talking about... Is their combinations.

Now I'm gonna do a quick aside to explain what's wrong with BOOM!'s design philosophy.

Transformers. Gundam. The Brave Franchise like GaoGaiGar. Heck, Power Rangers and Sentai on TV. Why do these shows have good looking combinations in them?

Why does, say, the original MMPR Dino Megazord/ZyuRanger's DaiZyuJin work as a design? Because it was thought of TO combine. As "this part folds in like this so that part can connect there, this part folds around this, hands flip out, click that into place" and so on. Yes, a lot of this is because "toys" but because they are designed to be real machines, real objects, with limited mass and placement... It works

Even "Cluster Fuck combinations" like Go-Ongers Engine-O G12 or Shinkenger SamuraiHa-Oh work because they have to work with the real pieces that actually exist.

But this is where we come to a problem

BOOM!

BOOM!'s megazords... They treat every zord like putty that just merge together like silly putty into the final combination

Example A is the MegaGraveZord, a fusion of the MMPR Megazord and the Gravezord.

I showed the Grave Zord earlier. Where did most of its body go? Where did so much RED come from?! Like... Those knee guards are the shoulder pads of the Red Dragon Thunder Zord's warrior mode! Which they only had one of in the Gravezord. But they've also shrunk! ... And the actual shoulder pad on the Gravezord was put on this combo!

Where did the Unicorn's shoulder pad go?!

How did the head change like that?!

But the biggest issue... Where did 99% of its mass go?! It's got the tiger head and the upper arms, but the rest of the ACTUAL body has just... Vanished!

And this wasn't exchanging parts by the way, it was a full fusion

But you know what. At least this looked cool.

Next week have the.... I think they called it the MegaMegazord?

It is comprised of the Hyper Force Megazord. But also the Dolphin, Lion and Hawk Ninja Storm Zord's (yes, the full Wind Megazord is in there), the Purple Wolf Jungle Fury Zord (that's normally used as a leg), the Yellow Garuda Mystic Force zord (normally a backpack and wings), the green Minotaur Mystic Force Zord (which is most of its megazords body... That's in there to), the Violet DinoCharge Plesio Charge Megazord (Plesu-Oh for Kyoryuger fans) (yes that's ANOTHER full Megazord in this as well) and finally the Super Zeo Zord I Pink (which becomes a pair of feet)

Like... This is a cool ass design

But... Combining? No, not like this

Not at all

It's just a generic design robot design with random design details that imply the design but that's it.

And.. yeah. A lot of these don't work because they weren't supposed to. But that's where you could be clever. Look what what breaks into what pieces and how they could theoretically be used... Also using ones that COULD work together

And then there's.... This

We have all thought of this. The awesomeness of the Dragonzord fusing with the White Tiger zord. But....

No

Why is the crotch piece from the dragon zord (which is part of the chest plate) there? Why are the symbols from the Dragon Zord's KNEES and THIGHS taken OUT of its body and placed THERE?!

Why is the golden chest plate attached to the FRONT of the shoulders like that?! Especially when the MISISLE FINGERS of the dragon zord fold in there so they COULD have been used as shoulder canons!

Also why is the CIRCLE from the middle part of the chest piece removed to be a shield?! Can't get just use the whole chest piece?!

And how is the drill attached to the arm like that?!

Like... This fusion is super obvious! Drape the Dragon Zord over the shoulders like you do with the classic Megazord! Maybe have the hips detach and attach to the Tiger Zord's waist and thighs to bulk that up. Then combine the chest plate and drill tail and connect that to the arm, or use it as a hand held weapon!

But finally we get to THIS monstrosity

This is four of the MMPR Thunder Zord's combining together with the Blue Omega Zord and

....

Do....

Do I have to say anything?

The Red Dragon Zord has complelty changed texture! Where is the Thunder Bird?! This is basically the Thunder Megazord combination, so surely the Omega Blue Zord should just be replacing that! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE LION?!

The only part of this combination that looks right is the left leg. Because the Griffon is the only one being used right. Which, ironically, makes it look out of place

Like... The lion is the big one. Because... You can see it in the picture. They've literally stretched and squished it like taffy. They basically painted small details of it only a leg hit

If you don't know how this combination works... The Lion becomes chest armour for the Thunder Megazord. The lions head hanging at the crotch with it's beard flowing down as a waist skirt. And it's two large paws unfold and become arm armour for the combination

But in this "Omega Blue Thunder Omegazord Formation" (the names for these things suck, by the way) yoh can see... The lion face is a complelty different shape and cut off, the gem that would be in the middle of the chest and act as the rangers cockpit has been cut in half and is near the knee, the paws are missing, it's much lomger ans thinner than it should be.

The underlying issue with all of these combinations is simple. They are doing generic robot designs using the Zord's as a paint by numbers thing with barley any cohesive thought behind the designs beyond 'robot good'

And to be clear. This is me just explaining why I do not like these original designs and what about them I do not like. If you do like them, awesome. Am honestly happy for you.

[selineram3421]

I kinda want snacks.

Isekai'd

Part 4: A Weird Duo

Part 3

~

Vash (Tristamp) X Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ food, teasing Vash a bit, the word normal(ew), cussing, reader lets their emotions slip ⚠

Splitting one of your homemade ration bars, you give the other half to your new traveling companion.

"Much obliged.", he said accepting the food.

After the whole thing with his nose, you introduced yourself. Or as much as you could, still having to play the amnesia card.

"So you don't remember how you wound up in the desert?", he asks, taking a bite of his half.

"Nope.", you say popping the P.

Both of you were walking, letting Kevin carry the bags.

"Man, that's tough.", he says with a bit of a frown.

"You gonna introduce yourself now stranger?", you ask and take a bite of your ration bar.

I kinda hate having to act like I know nothing when I know everything. You think while eating. But this might be the safest option.

"Oh, I-I'm..", he looks away.

Sighing, you take out the wanted poster and show him.

"Wanted, right?", you say with a straight face.

Vash looks like he's seen a ghost, soul practically leaving his body when seeing the piece of paper with his face on it.

"Don't worry, I don't double as a bounty hunter.", you say, and hand him the paper with a pen. "I kinda wanted you to sign it."

"Huh!? Me?", he points at himself, surprise written all over his face.

"Yeah, you Star boy.", you grin.

Don't have enough money to go to signings but this is way better. You think finishing up your food. And free.

"Never autographed anything before.", he mumbled and wrote his name just above the drawing of himself.

After he's done, he hands the paper back and you raise it up to get the whole view.

"Nice.", you say before putting it away.

"You know, you're kind of odd.", Vash slips out and then slaps a hand over his mouth. "Oh-"

"Thank you.", you agree. "Better than being boring or worse.", you cringe at the thought. "Normal."

The Humanoid Typhoon lets out a laugh, letting his hand drop to his side again.

"I mean, you're pretty odd too.", you say.

"What? How-", he starts but you don't let him finish.

"You were literally watching me sleep a few hours ago.", you look at him from the corner of your eye and see him hiding his face again with his hand.

"I said sorry!", he whines.

"Mhm.", you hum and look forward again.

What a weird duo we make.

.

Hours passed and the night came by again.

After making a fire, Vash helped teach you how to set up the tent. There was a bit of trial and error but you managed to put up a decent tent.

"Fuck yeah.", you silently cheer to yourself.

Going over to your backpack, you rummage around until you find some more of the ration bars.

"Hey Star boy, catch!", you say and toss one over your shoulder.

"Whoa!"

Looking back, you see that he's fumbling to get a hold on it. But then he does get it.

"Haha!", he says in victory.

That is until Kevin tries to steal it.

"Back off! Its mine!", the blonde says and holds the food away, getting pecked on the head. "Ow!"

"That's enough Kevin, I've got your food.", you say and bring the bag of feed.

After eating, you all just sit around the fire.

You are looking up at the stars as Vash talks about how expensive bullets are.

I can't believe I can see all of the stars here. You want to try counting them but know that's impossible. Back on Earth I only counted twelve, and that was on the clearest nights.

"Think about it! A bullet is like a box of two dozen donuts! Who the heck-", he says but pauses. "You're crying."

"What?", you snap out of it and look at him confused.

Wiping both of your hands on your cheeks, you feel your left get slightly damp.

"I was..", you mumble.

"You ok?", he asks, having a worried puppy dog look on his face.

"I'm fine, I-", you say and sigh. "I remembered something."

Looking back up to the stars, you think about telling him. Everything.

Both of you sit in silence for a little while.

I can't.

"Wherever I was from didn't have a lot of stars.", you finally say. "I can't count this many."

"Really?", he asks and looks up at the sky as well.

The feeling of loneliness envelopes you. Being in an entirely different dimension, on a different planet.

I can't really say anything though. Vash has felt the loneliest.

"I'm gonna sleep. Night.", you say, standing up and going over to the tent.

"Oh, uh..n-night!", he stutters out.

You don't bother taking off your boots, just lying on the cot and going to sleep.

✴

You woke up to the boy this time.

He was looking down at your lying form and smiled when you opened your eyes.

"You're back!"

There's the feeling of grass under you and you can see the leafs from the tree.

Again? You thought before sitting up.

Looking around, you find that you're still in the same place.

What was it called again? Geez, I've got to be better at remembering names of things. You think for a bit and give up. Fuck it. Its a dome green house.

"Hi Star boy.", you say.

"Star boy?", the little blonde repeats.

"Yeah, cuz your smile is so bright.", you say and boop him on the nose.

He laughs and that makes you smile.

✴

Vash is still sitting by the campfire, looking up at the sky and thinking about what you said.

"A place where you can count the stars..", he says out loud.

"That must be far away."

Stars are hard to see with all the pollution.

~Seline, the person.

Next: Part 5

Taglist@

@summerdazed @+?

ML Vash | ChL Isekai'd

[lake-cosay]

since yellow posted about it without my permission (/j) here's everything (literally i'm going to try and put everything in one post) i've got for my parasite au

(just a heads up, it gets a bit heavy, mainly bc lake contemplates saving jesse's life against his will or letting him die with his consent.)

it's a no-train, human lake au. jesse and lake are childhood friends, both with relatively normal lives until one day jesse disappears. seemingly vanished out of thin air in the middle of the night. lake, who whole-heartedly does not trust the cops to actually try to find jesse, let alone bring him home safe, takes matters into their own hands, and sets out to find him themself.

lake packs a bag and heads out. (but not before they're stopped by jesse's parents, who know they can't stop lake and give lake supplies to stay safe, including jesse's dad giving lake his pocket knife.) (yes this might be a bit careless on the parents' side but i just want an excuse for jesse's dad to give lake his pocket knife idk) lake is willing to camp out in the woods for as long as they need to to find him.

days go by, and lake combs the woods looking for any sign of him. they think they catch fleeting glimpses of him, but whenever they turn to look, there's no one there. they also keep seeing deer -- sometimes only breifly, other times, they're able to watch the deer long enough to determine it's real and they're not just hallucinating. (surprise! it's alan dracula)

as the days go on, these glimpses of both jesse and the deer become more freuqent, more clear, more obviously not just lake's imagination. when lake is finally able to recognize the person as jesse, he looks bad. covered in dirt, his braid a mess*, his skin red from frostbite. his eyes... glowing. some horrible looking mark on the back of his neck.

*i firmly believe that if jesse and lake grew up being friends, jesse would shed the toxic masculinity much easier/earlier in his life, so he'd end up having a long braid by the time they're in high school.

but every time lake tries to get his attention, he disappears. but when lake is calm and quiet, they can start to approach him without scaring him away. eventually, they finally get to him. here's a drabble about that:

"Fuck, Jess, you're freezing," Lake said as they tried to suppress a shiver. He wasn't acting like he was cold, but then again, nothing about the way he was acting was normal.  Lake started to dig through their backpack, eventually fishing out the blanket. "C'mere," Lake tucked the edges of the blanket around his shoulders, then knelt down a bit before pausing. "I'm gonna pick you up," they said, hoping for permission. They didn't get anything explicit, but they didn't get a no either. As much as they hated to touch him without consent, his feet would fall off from frostbite if they stood there much longer. Lake tucked one arm around the back of Jesse's shoulders, the other under his knees. They lifted, and his weight came off the ground with surprising ease. Both because he had seemingly let Lake pick him up, but also because he had definitely lost a bit of weight.  With all of his weight in Lake's arms, Jesse leaned into Lake's chest. Lake lent their back against a tree, before slowly sliding down to sit on the ground with Jesse in their lap. They fussed with the blanket, making sure all of his skin was covered, especially his feet. Lake guessed that the blinding redness in balls of his feet were frostbite.

lake discovers that jesse's memories are extremely fuzzy. he doesn't remember any names, not even his own, but he does mention that lake looks familiar. when lake asks why he's out here, how he got out here, how he's alive etc, all he can answer with is "i don't know"

(alan dracula is definitely involved in lots of scenes but i forget about him when writing for some reason. i'm sorry AD i love you)

with their reunion, jesse's memories slowly come back. not fully, but he starts to remember lake's name again, and that he loves them, and that they love him. he remembers that he has a younger brother and his parents but it takes a while before their names come back to him.

i don't really have many details for the rest of what i planned for this au. basically lake somehow figures out that the parasite is killing jesse and they need to get it fast. they have to resort to cutting it out with the pocket knife.

that was all i had for the au until one day i realized that i've never seen anybody do anything with the fact that jesse almost turned into a tree in canon, and yellow helped me decide to combine that idea with this au. so, the parasite's way of killing him is turning him into a tree. here's another drabble:

Jesse winced and whimpered as another branch sprouted from his skin. Lake rubbed Jesse’s cheek, watching the branch slowly grow outwards.  Lake wasn’t sure how long they’d sat there, watching this parasite take over their best friend. But neither of them could think of a solution, and Jesse was so scared he was already practically stiff as a board. Save for the sobs that shook his body. There were 10 of them. At least 10 separate branches Lake could make out from here. They looked like they had pierced his flesh, the base of each branch surrounded with blood. Lake would look away for a minute, and when they looked back, the branches had grown thicker or longer. 3 of them had sprouted leaves. Or, maybe it had been more, but Jesse’s shaking had caused them to join the other leaves on the forest floor. Even his hair was changing; it was starting to feel more like vines than hair. Like dry, wilted roots. The tears Lake wiped away felt thick and sticky, and when Lake would kiss them away, they tasted like sap. Another whimper. Lake scanned his body, and the next branch poked out of his forehead, on his right side just below the hairline. Jesse’s shaky hand clawed at it, as if that was enough to stop all this. “I’m not gonna let you die like this,” Lake stated, with seemingly no response from Jesse. “Please. Let me try,” Jesse tried to take a deep breath, but the exhale made him shake violently. “I-I’m scared… I don’t— I don’t wanna die,” He tried to crawl even farther into Lake’s lap, but the roots from his feet kept him firmly planted in the earth. “If— If you really just… want me to stay,” Lake began, choking down their own tears now. “Then I will. But—” Staying meant saying goodbye. It meant Lake would sit here and hold Jesse until this parasite consumed him and he died. It meant he would die here, suffering. Lake’s hands itched to cut away the branches and carry him home, but Jesse had begged them to just stay. And though Lake’s heart had burst at his pleas to die, if that was what he wanted… Then Lake would do it for him. But Lake had a feeling that wasn’t what he wanted. That he was too caught up in his fear to really consider his options. Not that Lake blamed him; they couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. “If I stay, you die. I— I won’t leave you but— If you let me try— Then there’s a chance you could go home—” “Cut it out. Please,” Jesse begged, gasping for air. He pulled at his hair, and half of it came out like it was nothing. His whole body shook with sobs. “I don’t wanna die,” he gasped. “I wanna go home.” His hands clawed their way back to Lake’s. “Take me home.”

jesse turning into a tree was definitely NOT where i expected this au to go and i almost feel like they might be better as separate aus but the ideas are similar and i wanted to post that drabble anyways, so

i was going for a kind of analogue horror/lost footage vibe with this, just like. spooky dark forests, unexplainable disappearances, strange infections, etc.

so yeah, there's that. lmk what you think :>

[myreygn]

Home is where your heart is.

summary: Miya sleeps over at Reki's place and everything's great, except it's not. But Reki wouldn't be Reki if he didn't have a way to cheer Miya up.

an: this was a commission (my first commission amen) by the wonderful @wertzunge. thank you so so much for commissioning and i really hope you like it!

wordcount: 2396

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Miya knows that he’s being ridiculous. There’s no reason for him to be this nervous. He’s been over at Reki’s place before, he’s met his mother and siblings. And Reki is his friend, so it’s not like he’s sleeping at a strange place surrounded by strangers. He’s sleeping at a different place though. Miya tightens his grip on the backpack in his lap and looks out of the car window so that the driver wouldn’t catch onto his uneasiness.

He has never had a real sleepover at a friend’s place; heck, he has never even had a sleepover at his own house! It’s only due to his parents’ laissez-faire-don’t-care-attitude and his nanny being sick that he’s allowed to stay at a friend’s house. (A friend neither his parents nor his nanny have ever met, but okay.) Miya’s glad that this friend is Reki, of all people, but still, it’s a little nerve wracking to think of falling asleep in a house he’s a guest at.

“We’re here,” the driver says, looking at him in the rearview mirror. “I will pick you up tomorrow. Fourteen-hundred sharp. Do you need help carrying your backpack?”

Miya just shakes his head and gets out of the car. Just say 2pm, like a normal person… goddamn Europeans are always-

“MIYA!”

See, every home that is a loving one has a certain element to it that jumps right into unsuspecting visitors’ faces and makes them think ‘Wow, this truly is a loving home’. And it is here and now that Miya encounters such an element; it’s just that it literally jumps onto his back instead of figuratively into his face, and that it doesn’t make him think the loving-home-thing, but rather “What the actual fuck”.

“GHA- get off of me, you little twats!”

Reki’s younger sisters just giggle brightly, clutching onto his torso and arms for dear life and almost making him fall over in the process. “Never!” “We caught you, Mr. Miya!” “Yeah, you’re now a prisoner on the pirate ship! Arrrrgh!”

Oho? Well, alright then. “But I'm also a pirate! You can't just capture a fellow pirate, that's against the rules!"

"You're not a pirate! Harrr!" "Yeah, we never heard of you!"

Miya can't help but grin slightly. "What do you mean?! I'm Miya The Pirate King!" He grabs the girl clinging to his chest around the waist and throws her over his shoulder. "You have betrayed the Pirate King and now you will face his reven- oof!" The other kid has let go of him, only to tackle him right into the stomach. Miya goes down, careful not to hurt either of them, then they're all over him.

"Attack!" "Down with the Pirate King!"

"Chihiro! Nanaka! What did I tell you about ambushing our guests?!" Reki's mother snatches the two off of him, then she smiles at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, dear!"

He gets up, returning her smile a little carefully. "It's alright." Jeez, he's nervous again. This woman has never been anything but kind to him and, yeah, maybe he gets a warm feeling inside his chest when she calls him dear, but he can't help but feel like a burden every time he comes over. She is raising four children by herself… he never even considers helping Joe with the dishes after eating there, because it's Joe, but he always offers to help with the dishes when he's at the Kyan house. (She always declines his help though. Luckily. He has no idea how to do the dishes.)

"Please, go inside. I think Reki is in his room- sorry, I'm a little busy right now, but there's lemonade in the fridge, if you want."

Warmth. Fuzzy feeling in his chest. This family does something to him. Miya nods. "No worries, thank you very much for letting me stay over." He then heads inside, taking off his shoes at the entrance and turning towards Reki's room - only to discover, to his horror, that the redhead is already awaiting him in the corridor, leaning against the wall and smirking cockily. "That was really cute."

Miya feels his face flush with heat and he pushes past Reki with a low grumble. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"They gotcha good, huh, Pirate King?"

"Shut the hell up, Slime!"

Reki laughs and opens the door to his room. "Come aboard my humble ship, oh ruler of the seven seas!"

The "I'll kill you!" Miya was about to snap back gets stuck in his throat at the sight in front of him. A futon. A simple futon in the middle of the room. Two blankets and four pillows, all with flower embroidery. It looks soft. Miya stares.

"Do you like it?" Reki has closed the door behind him. "It's okay if you don't, I can sleep on it and you take my bed."

"N-no, it's fine. I mean good. It looks really good." Miya clears his throat and he quickly sets his backpack onto the futon, just to do something. What the heck is wrong with him?!

Reki tilts his head slightly, then he smiles one of his bright signature smiles and grabs Miya by his hoodie. "Come on, let's play Mario Kart!"

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

As suspected by the rational part of Miya's brain, there's nothing to be afraid of. They play Mario Kart, fighting a rather even match for first place. Then Koyomi drops herself on the couch between them with the attitude of a mob boss and smokes both of them in a pink princess cart. That bruises their egos enough to lay down the controllers and look for something else to do, so they go skating until Reki's mother calls him to let them know that dinner is ready.

The nervousness doesn’t return during dinner, luckily. Not that it could have if it wanted to - Miya is too busy dodging the rice Chihiro starts to throw around halfway through the meal, and then he has to defend himself when Reki turns out to be a backstabber and uses him as a shield against his sister’s attacks. It’s an adventurous dinner to say the least, and despite his hair and shirt being ruined, Miya catches himself thinking that he hasn’t had this much fun since the birthday party they threw for Cherry two months ago.

Now they’re cuddled up on the futon. It’s already pretty late and the girls are all asleep, so they have time to themselves. They spend it watching videos from the most recent international skateboarding competitions. Miya watches these videos every night before going to sleep, so it relaxes him immensely. Reki, on the other hand…

“Whoa, did you see that?! I wanna learn that too!”

Miya smirks. “You sure? That’s a really difficult one. Took me weeks to get it right.”

“You can do one?!” Reki beams at him. “Show me!”

“Sure.” Miya yawns. “But not tonight.”

“Are you tired?” Reki pauses the video they were watching. “We can go to bed if you want.”

“Uh, no, no, I’m good!” The sheer thought of letting Reki go makes his chest clench in a way he doesn’t really understand, but it doesn’t feel good. “I mean, I’m not tired, I-”

Reki tilts his head, the softest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Wanna play something? I have Uno Extreme.”

Miya just nods. It really doesn’t feel good to be left alone on the futon, but at least Reki is just gone for a few seconds before he sits back down and sets up the game

“So? How’s this for a sleepover?”

“It’s a good premiere.”

“Premiere?!” Reki stares at him in disbelief and lowers his hands. (Miya can look straight into his cards like this. Idiot.) “Wait, hang on, this is your first sleepover?! Like, ever?!”

“Yes, Reki, that’s what ‘premiere’ means.” Miya softly shakes his head, grinning up at him. “Is that so weird?”

“I mean, I guess… I had my first sleepover when I was, uh… I don’t know, six or something.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t. Sue me.” Miya shrugs a little, hoping that he’s not blushing. “But I like this. It’s fun.” He quickly puts down a +4 card. “Uno, by the way.”

“Wha- oh, come on!” Reki throws down his cards and yawns. “It’s okay, you win. I’m tired anyways, let’s go to sleep.”

“Do we have to…?”

“Don’t pretend, you’re tired too.” Reki grins and ruffles his hair. “Relax, okay? I won’t kick you out first thing in the morning, you don’t have to worry.”

“I’m not worrying, Slime!” Miya bends away from the hair-ruffling and quickly crawls under the blanket. “Don’t touch me!”

Reki just laughs and hops into his own bed. “Yeah, whatever. Sweet dreams, Pirate King.” He turns off the light and chuckles to himself when the only answer is a mumble in the dark: “Shut up, I’ll murder you!”

Now… it’s not that Miya is scared or anything. Definitely not. Pff, scared, what is he, a baby?! It’s just that, despite the two blankets, it’s a little cold on the futon without Reki there. Right, that’s why he’s shivering. And there are shadows on the wall. Of course it’s the trees outside, but it still looks weird. He doesn’t have that at home, and that’s strange, because this whole house feels like home, simply due to the loving nature of the Kyan family, but it shouldn’t feel like home when it’s also so different from home. The background noises are also unfamiliar. Reki moves a lot, so there’s a constant rustling from the bed, and there’s a dog barking outside. It’s really loud. Weird. Everything here is weird. He also feels like he’s lying the wrong way. Maybe his usual bed is located towards the South and now his head is in the West or something, who knows. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. It’s just weird.

“Miya?” The blankets stop rustling. “Are you crying?”

Is he? Oh, yeah. His face is wet. Damn, why is he crying?

“Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Reki sits up in his bed and softly pats the mattress next to him. Miya doesn't think twice and immediately sits down next to him. He doesn't even care that he must seem desperate like that.

A shiver runs through his body and he can’t help but scoot a little closer to his friend when he feels a warm hand on his shoulder. “I… I don’t know… I’m… it’s a little cold and I’m…” He feels his face burn. “I’m scared, but I… I don’t really know of what. Or why. I just feel weird.”

Reki smiles softly. “Okay, come here. Can I hug you? Is that okay?” Upon a careful nod from the younger one, he pulls him closer and wraps his arms around him. “It’s alright. I think I know what’s up with you.” He tries to keep his voice as calm as possible. “You’re homesick.”

“Homesick…?”

“Yeah. That’s okay, it’s your first real sleepover. I mean, of course it would also be okay if it wasn’t your first one, but you get what I mean, right? And I get it. You’re a guest, you don’t wanna do anything wrong and you don’t want your hosts to hate you. You know that’s really irrational, right?”

“I know, I know… I’m sorry…” Miya sighs. He’s such a loser. “I don’t even know why I have these… these thoughts, or whatever…” It’s not a fear: He refuses to call it a fear. “I mean, I slept at Joe’s place before, I shouldn’t feel like this!”

Reki smiles softly. “It’s okay to feel how you feel, however you feel. And I mean, it’s still different, I'd say. Think about it, when you stay at Joe’s, you’ve been to S before. You’re bruised and tired and literally fall into bed. And then, the next morning, you’re immediately on the run so you get to school on time.” He carefully pats Miya on the back. “This here is a real sleepover. You’re also not nervous when you skate on the street with your friends to get somewhere, but you’re probably a little nervous before a real race at S or the championship.”

“I’m never nervous before a skateboard event.”

“Oh, shut up!”

Miya squeaks when Reki jabs his side. “H-hey!”

“That’s what you get for being arrogant!” Reki smirks and scribbles his fingers over Miya’s ribs, making him shriek. “Also, I don’t like your sad little face, you should lighten up!”

“N-no, Reheki! Dohon’t! I’m happy, I’m hahappy, ack-”

“What? What is it?” The first bubbly giggles escape Miya’s mouth when Reki finds the spaces between his ribs and starts to massage them. “Does this tickle, Little Miya?”

“Don’t cahahall mehe thahaAHAT! NAHAHA! NAHAT THEHERE!” Miya spasms and Reki has to dodge a violent kick that would’ve probably broken his nose.

“Not where? Here? But I like this spot!” He wiggles one single finger into the younger skater’s belly button, laughing softly at the screams this gets him. “Sheesh, Miya, be a little quiet! You don’t wanna wake everyone up, do you?”

Miya clasps a hand on his own mouth, trying to stiffle the laughter pouring out of it. Reki's right, he can't do this to the Kyans. Not after they let him stay and fed him. He can't even begin to imagine the disappointed looks on their faces…

Reki carefully takes his wrist and guides the hand away from his mouth. He has reduced his tickling to light squeezing of Miya's side; enough to keep him giggling, but at least he's not screaming anymore. "Hey, I was kidding." He pulls the smaller boy up to him and hugs him from behind, all while never stopping the squeezes. "My sisters are like stones when they sleep and my mom sleeps at the other end of the house, you're all good. Sorry, I didn't mean to stress you. Are you okay?"

Miya nods. His lips are stretched into a wide smile and he finds that it's not a painful one. Reki's right. There's nothing to worry about. "I dohon't think I'm homesihick anymore."

"Good." Finally, Reki's fingers come to a stop. "And when you get homesick again, remember, home isn't just one place. Home is where your heart is."

"That's so fucking cheesEEK!"

"Could've fooled me, but I don't think you're tired enough to sleep yet."

[negativepeanuthoarder]

I wanted to say that I do agree 100% with your reply to the other anon about casual friendships, though for this kind of conversation to actually make some kind of impact on drolos brains the whole context should be discussed. The reason its not strictly double standards to be “mad” at karl and not at dream’s other casual friends is karl’s relationship with snf (and honestly the history of dtqk in general). Karl and Dream were never painted as casual friends, so for (granted, insane) people it’s harder to accept that that’s what they are.

And I think people have this idea that because the dream team are obsessed with each other literal ride or die friends, practically family, then outsider friends should have the same/similar relationships with all of them - as in, because Karl is best friends with snf then he should also be best friends with dream. And dream’s other casual friends don’t have this relationship with snf that Karl does, so its different. To people it feels like Karl excludes dream when their relationship is just different and thats ok.

Sorry in advance for coming off like kind of an asshole, I'm just trying to get my point across but I feel like I came off super harsh, which wasn't my intention at all.

(long post again)

I understand the first point all too well, Anon, I ALSO had a pretty hard time accepting that DTK was a lot more casual then I initially thought. But at the end of the day I want them to have the kind of relationship that they want to have and I ultimately just want them to be safe and happy with one another.

As for the double standard thing, I do see where you're coming from on that. It's a lot more justified to be upset with Karl over this because of his relationship to SNF, as opposed to someone like Foolish, who isn't nearly as close with the two (he is with Bad but I suppose that's a bit different). At the end of the day though I do think the broad strokes of what I was trying to say still applies. If you are going to use "they're not talking PUBLICLY" (keyword, publicly) as a justification for them not being friends, then ONLY and EXCLUSIVELY accusing JUST Karl and not Dream's other causal non-public contacts, you are perpetuating a double standard.

I honestly don't even think its purposeful exclusion on Karl or Dream's fault half the time. In some cases, yeah, Karl backs off on purpose to minimize fallout and harassment, but in a lot of cases it just seems like two extremely busy people can't find time to hang out with each other.

Karl has approximately 128,749,324 jobs, constantly travels for MrBeast, works on his own videos, owns an esports organization, works with a bunch of Roblox YouTubers, and for fuck's sake he bought a livestreaming backpack so he could do IRL streams since he couldn't produce "normal" content. Dream owns his own merch company, is the CEO of public relations at Minecraft, the best selling video game in history, is producing music and maybe even a short film, all while planning to launch a sixty person Minecraft server.

And if Karl is closer to SNF then he is to Dream? I literally do not care. I'm not in this relationship, I have no bearing on what they do or don't do with one another. Sometimes you're really close to two people in a friend group and not the third, and that's, once again, normal.

Anyways that's my parasocial take on the situation.

[shadowonwater]

My 2nd post about playing Pokemon Scarlet (just got to the school)

In this post I marvel about how big the world is and talk a bit about Team Star.

I've only just gotten to the school, but decided to stop to post again. I'm having a great time! Could really use a bike though, lol. But I guess I'm going to get to ride Koraidon soon.

I really love exploring so I spent so much time just wondering off and looking around so it took me awhile to continue the story. I picked up so many items and caught a whole bunch of Pokemon! I think Box 1 is getting close to full :D

The city the academy is at is SO big! It took awhile to explore all of it, bought a whole bunch of sandwich ingredients and a few other things. Excited to try the picnic feature, I'm prepared for it!

The city really feels like a city. It's interesting how cities have evolved overtime in Pokemon games. Before Pokemon games couldn't really do nearly as much to emphasize scale, buildings were pretty small looking because of that top down view. But now the world feels truly big, seeing Pokemon out in the wild emphasized that too.

Reminds me of seeing my cat inside vs outside. Inside she seems to be a pretty normal size, albeit a bit on the small side. But the times my cat has gotten outside, she just seems tiny compared to the outside world. Seeing how small Pokemon can be when they're just hanging around outside really shows how big the land is.

Oh yeah and what's-his-name the son of the professor was interesting to run into. I kind of forgot about it because I spent so much time exploring. I find it funny that his first interaction with you is pretty much telling you to fuck off. And then he just dumps the giant lizard on you and doesn't really explain anything. It really feels like he's hiding something.

Anyway the Eevee backpack girl is cute, excited to get to know her more! And I continue to love Nemona, I love how much she loves battling. Love her comment about the stairs, if this wasn't a video game, indeed, those stairs would be a bitch to climb. It feels like complaining about the stairs is like an in-joke among the students.

Love my first interaction with Team Star. Pokemon really has been leaning into these antagonist teams as being non-evil. Like trouble makers but not evil unlike a lot of earlier generations.

I always can't help but wonder what the implication of the use of the word "Team" means to those who live in the Pokemon world. Like there's the infamous Team Rocket which is a mafia. And then you got Team Skull which are more like petty criminals, but still criminals.

Like doesn't calling something a "Team" send off red flags or something? Or are there others "Teams" out there who are chill? Then again maybe Team Star like the use of the word "Team" to sound tough? Like a kid calling themselves a gangster? I guess if they called themselves a gang, they world be Gang Stars.

Anyway I guess they are a bunch of trouble makers in school who like to play hooky. So far they don't really seem that bad though. Although it's rude to be pushy about getting someone to join something.

I find it funny that you beat that one girl and the other guy is like "I don't really want to fight, there's no way I'm winning" but then Nemona is like "It's either let them practice terralizing on you, or you fight me" And the guy was like "ok fine" and he went in there fully knowing he wasn't going to win.

What a refreshing character interaction I'm so used to Pokemon grunts being like "I'm totally going to win!" right after seeing someone else get creamed by me. Fun seeing them have more situational awareness. Looking forward to more Team Star in the future.

Something kind of funny is that I've already evolved my starter already. To end this post off here's my current Team (The shiny Scatterbug I caught isn't on it right now because I want to focus on new Pokemon):

Floragato (Cutie) [my starter]

Axelle (Lechonk)

YarnBall (Tarountula)

Wowza (Flamigo) [I find it funny that's literally just a Flamingo]

Jimin (Wooper)

Wiggles (Wiglett)

[chocoenvy]

heyo, it’s me pretty anon. (i like it better than bully anon too :))

i think i fucked up

so, i’ll keep this simple since i need to go to bed cause it’s like 4:30am and i get up at 8 lmao.

since the cruise my dad and step-mom decided to physically split as well. my dad is signing for a divorced in the next couple of days. my step-mom is in a completely different state rn with her youngest daughter and mother. my mom mom doesn’t know about the divorced and honestly i think no one’s told her since we don’t wanna hear it.

so um, i haven’t really gotten a chance to talk to anyone about this stuff since i live in a small town and everyone knows everyone yknow? so firstly, thank you for letting me vent. it’s nice to talk to someone the same age anonymously. you give good advice.

anyway, all of this has kinda been building up on me, which is super weird cause i thought i wouldn’t care. i’m a senior in high school rn so it’s not like i can’t go visit her once i graduate. and my dad and step mom are both encouraging me to keep up a relationship with her. she wasn’t really around much and when she was it was only ever good one on one since with my dad it would be borderline abusive. (or maybe actually abusive, i’m not really sure i know how to identify it. it just seems normal to me)

my dad also asked me if i had contacted my step mom like a couple days after she left. i’d been wanting to but i had no idea what to say to her. so i didn’t. he said to me, and i don’t think i’ll ever forget this, “oh. i thought you loved her.” in the most casual tone. my heart is broken. i got really upset with him and he literally could not comprehend why. i’m starting to second guess myself if i loved her or not. i know for a fact that i did, but does she know it?

so yknow the new ios 16 update? weird change of pace i know but i swear it’s important. well i just decided like an hour ago to get it and i fucking hate it. fun fact, if you have spotify on and your phone turns off then they change YOUR LOCKSCREEN to match the spotify song. wtf. well i started off hating it cause i had to scroll through over 2,000 photos just to find the exact same ones i was currently using (it’s venti and xiao btw) and i started hyperventilating.

well i was doing my daydreams when i realized the spotify thing. and i completely stopped. i had a full blown panic attack for at least 45 minutes. i was hyperventilating so hard i honestly thought i was going to passed out. i later down so i at least wouldn’t fall and everything.

i think i panicked because of all the penh up emotions that i have going on rn.

after i finally calmed down, i went over to plug in my chrome book for school. and then i remembered i had an eyebrow razor in my backpack…

i think you know what i meant when i said i fucked up.

it was only four cuts. not deep enough to draw blood except for one, all tiny on my thigh where no one can see them. i can’t believe i did it though. and the worst part, the absolute worst part is, the relief i felt? it’s like i actually have control.

i know you said the ice cube method. i’ve actually told other freinds going through a hard time about it too. but at the moment, i just wasn’t thinking straight.

im scared im gonna do it again. any ideas on what i should do? lol

with love, pretty anon

HELLO PRETTY <33 I'm so sososososo sorry for answering this so late but!

tw: self harm, relapses, sensitive topics

It's completely valid and I cannot fault you for relapsing it is a very normal part of healing. So long as you get back up, everything will be okay I promise.

But! I remembered an app that I had come across some years ago. I forgot the name and when I tried to look it up i found calm harm.

The app I thought of describes self harm as a wave. The want to harm yourself flows in and then out. It comes and goes. The trick is to distract yourself before the feeling takes over your actions. Calm Harm definitely helps with it from what I've seen. I've never tried these apps though. There are also counters that count how long you've gone without cutting if that kind of thing helps.

Would definitely recommend! As well as watching videos or creating a playlist full of videos/songs that make you happy! Find something that makes you happy and hold onto it for when you need it! I can completely understand not being in the right state of mind and forgetting it which is why you should have it on your phone so you can access it before you can access something else. It also helps if you're ever in public - or even in private - and need to calm down.

Gather resources to prepare for these down times. It'll help!

I understand that self harm can feel good, god trust me I know, but it's not worth it. There are other things that can make you feel better than self harm can. And I can't speak for you but after I self harm I just feel so much shame?? And fear?? Mostly because I don't want someone to find them but I just feel ashamed.

I can't explain it and I really don't have much room to talk because I'm still stuck in self harm. But if it means anything, I would be very proud to see you heal from this <3

I'm glad you can talk about this anonymously but if you ever need to talk to me one on one my dms are always open <3

Take care! And I'm sorry for answering so late, I hope you're okay <33

[wykedstories]

Chapter 4: The Coffee Shop.

As everyday starts this one starts the same. I woke up this morning at a crisp four am, and got my makeup and hair done. I'll admit I was so lazy today even I'm ashamed. I can't even blame it on being tired, it's just pure laziness. Instead of doing the whole eyeshadow and everything I just slapped on some mascara, eyeliner and, my shimmer lip gloss to complete a simple look. It's so early and I'm ready to hit the road so that Darcy and I can have  breakfast. I slap my shoes on and make sure everything is packed neatly in my black backpack then I proceed to throw it over my shoulder and head downstairs. As I head downstairs I hear my mom and dad  talking to my little sister Mia.

 Mia has been at my grandparents since the weekend, she's finally home. I love Mia. She has the cutest little smile, let me tell you she's the cutest 5 year old ever! As for my dad he's normally out of state for work so he must have come home while i was sleeping! I walk into the kitchen where everyone is and I say my hellos and goodbyes quickly then head out the door to my car to pick up darcy! I hopped in the car and plugged my music in so that I could get the mood set for the day today. It's feeling like a Slipknot kind of morning. 

As I get everything set up and my first song picked I see that Darcy messaged me. As I look at my phone I see “ Hey babes, we're still on for breakfast im up and ready to go see you soon!”. 

I responded to her with “ awesome love i'll see you soon im on my way.” 

Back to duality by slipknot oh the wonderful sounds of metal in the morning. I casually roll up to Darcie's house and she's just as casually standing outside waiting for me to get here like she is waiting for the bus.

“Hey girl hey, I'm so beyond ready for that chai latte that's calling my name!” she squeaked as she waltzed over to my car.

“Girl, no coffee for me. I am really trying to lay off the caffeine so I think I'm gonna get a refresher and a nice breakfast sandwich.” I responded. 

“ Oh Leah common now after this week at school you definitely deserve that coffee. Get that caffeine girl you only live once! What happened to your large caramel macchiato with 4 shots of espresso and your bacon bagel?”.

“Yeah you are right fuck it im getting my coffee!” I sharply said back to her. 

“ That's my Girl,” Darcy replied. Then we made the mutual decision to crank that music up and jam all the way to the coffee shop. Darcy was dancing in the passenger seat and boy was she having the time of her life. I love seeing Darcy happy. It literally makes my whole day when she has that goofy smile on her face. I was paying attention to driving when I noticed something really odd. There was this guy in a black hoodie walking down the road who looked hurt. He looked as if he was limping but I am not one to stop for strangers.

 I thought about mentioning it to Darcy just because of the weird feeling I got from it, instead I just kept it to myself and onto the coffee shop I drove. We finally got to the coffee shop, not to mention traffic wasn't so hateful. I always complain about traffic but in reality I'm sure it's nothing like what New York City is. I couldn't even imagine driving in Vinces city. I bet driving is heaven here for him. 

“Hey do you want to drive through or go in?” I asked her as I simultaneously turned the music down. 

“I think we should go in and order if you're not opposed?” Darcy replied.

“Going in to order it is” I say loud and proud. We jumped out of the car like we haven't had coffee in months. As we walked up there was an older couple coming out so I stepped over by the door and opened it for them. You know it's the kind thing to do. I smiled at them when they thanked me and I told them to have a blessed day. Darcy and I walked in and ordered our coffee and breakfast that took about 25 minutes to long.

 As we walked out the doors of the coffee shop I felt this wave of uneasiness go over me, I looked around instantly to see if something was going on and that's when I looked on the other side of the street and saw the guy in the black hoodie limping towards the coffee shop. I glanced over at Darcy and she was sipping on her coffee unphased, so I continued to ignore those uneasy feelings and went back to the car to head to school of the day.

[frogsandfries]

I'm glad to see you guys noticed my absence 😜

I nearly died, but both my bead packages were at my sister's place when we got in.

I had asked my sister if I could borrow a hard side carrier for my cat; she forgot. I kept forgetting to get one. Anyway, my girl got put in the backpack. She eventually worked her way out, and she was absolutely chill, so my sister and I agreed that she could stay out for a while.

We hit Oklahoma, and it was getting late and stormy. My sister put on the wipers and the first time, the motion for my cat's attention; cool, something for her to check out. The second time the wiper moved, my cat flew into the air.

I still feel really awful about my response, but we were in a moving van with a trailer on the back. I didn't need something worse to happen. I grabbed her scruff and, feeling blood already trickling down my arm, drew her limbs in. She had flipped out of her harness at some point; there's no way I was getting that back on without an even bigger fight than normal. I had to get her back in the bag and as soon as possible, I needed some aspirin and neosporin.

It took forever to get to a Casey's. Fun side fact for you, Casey's appears to have at least two different brandings. I'm from Wisconsin. There aren't any in at least any in New Mexico that I saw, but in like Oklahoma and Iowa, they've got the same house/barn shape sign, but just the word "Casey's" in like......a casual/decorative font. Like this:

In Wisconsin, at least, Casey's signs look like this:

Anyway, the point being, I got in the bathroom, cleaned up the fucking blood, considered buying literally eight dollar neosporin, decided on just a Casey's mt dew. Get up to the register; guy in front of me wants a shower.

Cashier: Will that be all?

Me: *exhausted nod*

Cashier: Have a good [night, trip, whatever]

Me: *looks up, confused*

Cashier: (repeats) Have a good night

Me: *exaggerated nod of understanding; takes my free soda back to the truck*

I also had another interaction of me being disoriented from my travels. When we finally, finally, finally reached Dubuque, I bought a soda and a slice of pizza, but there are three items I'm being charged for. Since when does Wisconsin have a deposit on cans?

Nope. Iowa. Iowa has a deposit.

Earlier: We're pulling into some random gas station in southern Iowa. I have no phone service because I also didn't factor that into this process and don't ask me why.

So I'm completely, absolutely disoriented. Anyway, one of the fucking tires on the fucking trailer busted. The rubber part, the hub cap, the axel. Fucked harder than.... anyway. Fucked.

It takes about twenty minutes for Budget Rental to get us towed to the place across the street. Awesome, great, fine. They get the trailer in and remove the busted stuff. Then they report that they can't fix it. Basically, we should get a motel. That's not in the budget and sure as fuck not acceptable for about fifty reasons, least of all being, Ialready had to take Friday off because of scheduling issues and I'm not paying extra for a motel that allows pets with money I don't have. So we start bothering their fucking vendor for a resolution. Get us a new trailer, where's the new trailer. Three hours, eighty minutes, they're almost there blah blah blah. Bullshit. Every time, each time we spoke to someone, bullshit.

Finally, I lost my fucking temper. The fucking tow yard we're practically stuck at is closed. It's getting cooler and later and we're fucking stuck. Both my cats are getting pissed off and tired and they haven't been to the bathroom, they don't want to eat. It's humid and gross. My cats are stuck in the car with a puppy who doesn't know that no means no.

I start chucking stuff from my sister's vehicle into the truck. As the stupid fucking truck finally pulls up with the new trailer.

Look. I do not blame the people with the trailer.

We should have just shelled out the about four hundred dollar difference for Uhaul.

[living-d3ad-gh0ul]

Tuesday 29th August 2023, 05:48am

I've been trying to figure out a way to start writing my next post to you for a couple days now. I keep coming back and writing and then deleting everything. Right now, I just want to sigh very deeply. Things are just.. I don't even have a word to describe them, I just want to do a big sigh.

I'll start off with some nice stuff. London was lots of fun, Joji was amazing. I'm gonna attach some pictures of the concert and places I went and just some other random pictures of my trip. My little mini holiday started with something really cool actually, I laughed when it happened. I went to check in at the airport (cause I had a checked bag and I hate doing it online when I have one of those) and I give the guy my passport and stuff, tell him my name, where I'm going etc. And he just goes "Oh.. how about that" and immediately I'm looking at him like 👀 how about what? What does that mean? And I start panicking thinking my flights delayed or cancelled or I booked the wrong fucking date or something. And he just says "Well it says here 'Thank you for flying with BA, enjoy your upgrade' so it looks like you've been upgraded". I swear to you E, I looked at the man like he'd grown an extra head LOL. I was all like "is this some like.. ploy to get me to pay for an upgrade? Cause it's not happening lol" and he's like "nope, you've already been upgraded, you're in business class now, you get extra luggage allowance, here's your boarding pass, go to priority security and head on up to the lounge for free drinks and food". So I just stood there and laughed and shook my head and asked him if he was serious, and he absolutely was. Thank god for the extra luggage allowance btw, because I had absolutely overpacked. I think I always worry I won't have enough or that the weather will suddenly change or something and I won't be prepared. Which, is actually a very valid fear when you live in the UK lol.

So.. I went on up, went through priority security.. and I got fucking stopped didn't I? I sat there like "shit what did I leave in my bag? Did I not do my liquids right?". The guy pulled me over.. and it turned out it was my dad's jacket that they had flagged. He passed his leather jacket down to me, his proper real leather biker jacket. It's too big on me, but I love it and I really wanted to take it with me. Now.. I'm not sure if I said before or not.. but my dad was a fond man of the devils cabbage. So I *immediately* started panicking, thinking there was some hidden pocket I hadn't found that had some in it.. or that he'd just stuffed some in the lining or something, because that was a very my dad thing to do, I honestly wouldn't have put it past him. So I'm standing there, watching this guy look through all the pockets and almost fucking sweating at airport security lmfao. Then he just goes "ah okay, our scanner just didn't like the zips for some reason" then he SWABS it and my backpack and I was like OKAY YEAH I'M ABOUT TO BE DETAINED LOL. But it came back fine, he handed me my stuff and off I went to find the fancy lounge. I literally looked up at the sky as I walked away and I laughed and was like "fuck you". I'm honestly convinced that was my dad totally fucking with me, just playing a prank on me and winding me up like he always loved doing. He'd have been pissed himself laughing at me.

God, I just realised how much I typed already, jesus. This might be long, because I'm sure you're aware of this by now, but I tend to ramble and drabble on about stuff. I'm sorry I just.. idk, I like giving you as much detail as possible, I like fully explaining things to you like we're actually having a conversation and not just writing letters to one another, it's just.. nice and I just want these to be like.. totally organic and not heavily edited or anything. I just wanna talk to you like I normally would.. if that makes sense. I hope it does.

So I managed to find the lounge, went and sat myself down, I had like.. an hour and a half before my flight so I grabbed this wrap thing and there was free drinks including alcohol so of course I poured myself one lol. I sat there in a nice comfy booth by myself, charging my phone, eating this tasty random wrap I picked up and drinking expensive whiskey, all because I could thanks to the random free upgrade I got. I then went and got on the plane (I was one of the first to get on too) and oh my god I had so much room. I was sat on the aisle and there was a table between me and the person in the window seat, I could properly stretch my legs out and everything. It was.. amazing. And then we took off and we got drinks and stuff brought to us. And ACTUAL food on ACTUAL plates with ACTUAL cutlery. Let me tell you, I was absolutely fucking AMAZED hahaha. I think the flight attendants could definitely tell that I had never experienced that before. I was like a kid in a candy shop haha. They gave me a gin and tonic with my little plate of food, which was SO fucking good too. And then came back and asked me if I wanted some CHAMPAGNE. So I was like UH FUCK YEAH OF COURSE I WANT CHAMPAGNE hahahaha. And it came in a REAL glass. Honestly, I've never experienced anything like that before on a plane and honestly, coming back home in economy sucked after having that lol.

I got there all good and my bag came through almost right away so I wasn't fucking about at the airport for ages, I hopped in an Uber and went to my uncles. It was really warm and the drive took a while because of traffic (I also was going from one end of London to the other tbf, but I was far too tired and warm to be dealing with the London underground, I also hate getting the tube when I have a case with me, people just look at you and give you the dirtiest looks). The first evening I was there was super chill and low-key. Me and my uncle nipped around to his local pub which was only 2 minutes around the corner from his place, we had a couple drinks together and actually bumped into a Scottish guy who was there on his own, we got chatting to him and he was quite cool. Him and my uncle were talking about being teachers and me and him had a chat about music and stuff. He didn't stay long though, but it was nice to talk to someone from the same country I am when I was away from home haha.

The next day was the Thursday which was the day of the concert and I basically had the flat to myself all day. My uncles flatmate (who is also his ex partner who I've known since I was a kid, they're still really good friends though and still live together) was gone to see family and my uncle was going to see friends on the coast that day, so we had breakfast and coffee together before he left. I chilled in the morning, put some music on and just.. enjoyed the sun. I had the balcony door wide open and just sat there playing music and relaxing. It was the most chilled out I'd felt in months. I ended up picking up my uncles guitar and playing that for a little bit too. I'm so fucking rusty haha. I hadn't played for quite a long time, so I was trying to remember stuff but some things just came back to me, like total muscle memory almost. It was so badly out of tune too but I just tuned it up by ear, I'm still really glad I can do that. It was just really nice to have that little bit of time before I had to get ready for the concert and make my way across London again. But I did and I actually met up with someone from the discord server we first met on! A guy called Zach from London and his girlfriend. Me and him are still friends and have been for years, but I'd never met his girlfriend before. She was so nice, she even got me water when I thought I was dying of heat stroke at the concert lol and I had a really cool day with both of them. It was just soooo busy and sooooo fucking warm at the concert. So much so I ended up buying a fucking hat lol. I don't ever wear hats, but I really needed one. Even when I had sunnies on. I ended up buying a t-shirt too, which I'm actually wearing right now. I ended up I was so warm and drank soooo much water, genuinely thought I was gonna keel over at one point, but I was okay and I had fun.

The support acts I didn't really know, but they were quite good. I really enjoyed the first support, he was really funny and really got the crowd involved. Omg and he sang Gary Come Home from SpongeBob hahahahaha. I was absolutely pissing myself laughing when he did that, but it was a good rendition hahaha. Then obviously Joji came on and I was absolutely in my element. He was amazing. He sang one of my favourite songs first too. He actually sang quite a lot of my favourites of his, and even some old ones too, and I mean like.. songs from his SoundCloud days. It was really great. And there was two fucking mosh pits haha! He basically paused the concert halfway through and went off stage, then came back on and him and his hypeman or whoever started doing a fucking DJ set in the middle of the concert hahaha. They also had a Jack Sparrow lookalike competition on stage and called it a Jack Off lmfao. Oh and they literally brought out a blackjack table too and started playing that hahaha. You could tell he really wanted to appeal to all of his fans and wanted to make people laugh, FilthyFrank and Pink Guy are absolutely still in there haha. I honestly had such an amazing time at the concert. Getting out was an absolute pain though, they stopped and started us all leaving so many times and had like.. police blocking off entrances and stuff for no reason other than it was busy. I remember getting asked where I was going about four times and I was just like "um.. to get the tube home? Same as everyone else?" Lol.

The Friday I was there was more low-key. I stayed at the flat and chilled with my uncle for a few hours before I got ready and headed into Soho. I ended up going to a pub my uncle recommended me and had a few drinks. I got talking to two older ladies who were really nice and let me sit with them and chatted away to me. I also met up with a friend who had moved down to London once they finished work and we had a couple drinks there too, before we moved on to a different pub that I'd been told about. I really liked that second pub, it's actually apparently really well known and a lot of famous people go there. But I didn't see any famous people haha, or not ones that I knew anyway. My friend recognised a relatively famous ex-manager of one of the biggest Scottish football teams though in the first pub we went to and I made them take their picture with him lol. Well, I say I made them, they were like "should I ask for a picture?" And I just whipped my phone out and was like "excuse me, hi, you were just talking to my friend, do you mind if they have a picture with you?" And the guy was happy enough to do it. We then ended up having a walk around and going to another couple of bars. So many people instantly gravitated towards me because of my accent and kept telling me how amazing it was and I was just like "it is?" Hahahaha. I didn't stay out too late though, I was still tired from the concert the day before and I think I was home and in bed by like.. 1am haha.

The Saturday I just went around some places locally to my uncle. There's a cool little old cemetary nearby him that they're doing a lot of restoration works on, but you can still walk through it. So I had a wander through there, it was really nice. I then found this nice little cafe and had some lunch there before I went back to my uncles place. He'd gone out and his flatmate was still away, so I just chilled and listened to some music again, before I had some dinner and then I got ready and went to a goth club that night haha. My uncle had got back before I went out and he was telling me how he'd been to the same club I was going to before, but it was back in the 80's and was telling me stories and stuff while I did my makeup. We also had a little drink together before I headed out and it was nice. We're really similar personality wise and he's honestly really cool. We sat and listened to The Cure and Cocteau Twins and Lebanon Hanover and Siouxsie and stuff like that while I got ready and we drank together. Then I went off to the club MYSELF might I add. That was a really big thing for me, going to a place like that alone. But I ended up I just got a drink, found myself a seat near the dancefloor and just chilled for a bit. Again, I ended up opening my mouth at some point, I think I was ordering myself a drink, and some girl asked me where I was from and said she liked my accent. I told her and we ended up chatting for a while. She introduced me to her friends and I ended up tagging along with them for the rest of the night. They were all really nice and took me under their wing and we even took pictures together haha. I got drunk with them and danced with them to music similar to what me and my uncle listened to before I went out haha. I got really excited when Depeche Mode came on and basically just put myself right in the middle of the dancefloor haha. I have a tendency to do that when I'm drunk lol. I didn't get home til 5am, I had been having that much fun haha. The club didn't close til 6am too, so I really could have stayed until then if I wanted to haha.

The Sunday was just really chill, we went for some lunch and we chilled in the flat, I was a little hungover so my uncle just told me to relax and take it easy. I had been really busy tbh, so it was only natural I started feeling it a bit by the Sunday. I also ended up getting bitten on my arm and shoulder by mosquitoes or something on my first day there and by this point the bites were really itchy and irritating, so I kept having to put stuff on them to soothe it. I ended up I sat and talked to my uncle til about 9 o'clock before I got really tired and went to go crash out early. I woke up really early the next day and had to pack everything away for leaving that afternoon lol. It was sad saying goodbye to my uncle, cause he's one of my favourite family members and he really sympathises with me on the bullshit with my mother. He was really shocked when I was telling him all about how she'd been acting when my dad was sick and when he passed. She actually hadn't spoke to me for like.. 3 weeks after her birthday at the start of July. She didn't even send me a text on the day of my dad's funeral. Not a word. Didn't hear from her for like another 2 weeks after that. It's actually been like a month since she's even made any kind of attempt at contacting me. She's just.. she's really shown her true colours with all this and it's sad, because I feel like I've lost and I'm grieving for both parents almost. Just in different senses of the word, I guess. It's a whole thing spanning years, I won't get into it cause this post is long enough. She's just not a very nice person and I'm slowly starting to realise that, when I used to idolise her. It just hurts.

I was supposed to get home at like.. 6pm on the Monday evening, but our plane ended up delayed by 2 hours so I didn't get picked up by my sister at the airport until like 8pm. There was some issue with the planes navigation system that didnt happen until we got to the runway and were just about to take off. So we sat there for like.. an hour, while they tried to fix it. They managed to sort it out.. but then we had to return to the stand because they had wasted all the fuel just sitting there lmfao. So I was just like ok lol we're not going anywhere anytime soon, put my headphones in and just chilled. They refueled the plane and eventually we were on our way. I didn't get any fancy drinks or food this time, just a bottle of water and a bag of pretzels that tasted really bad hahaha. I got off the plane and, as usual for me because I always seem to have shit luck when I land at Glasgow airport, we'd landed at the furthest possible gate and had to walk aaaaaaaaall the way through the airport to the baggage carousels and so I could leave. Then there was an issue with them too. No one knew where our bags were lol. And then suddenly we were being called through to the other room which had one carousel thing. Another 2/3 flights landed at the same time as us and the baggage people put ALL of the bags from ALL of the flights on one belt. It was fucking chaos. And there ended up being a massive pile up of bags and the airport people had to press the emergency stop button. It was just a total fucking clusterfuck lol. They said that one was only supposed to be for the Dublin flight, but apparently the baggage people just went "lol no" and put all the bags on the one. Luckily, I could literally see my bag just before the pile up, so I managed to grab it (after I made sure I wasn't gonna make anything worse) and quickly make my way outside where my sister was there ready to pick me up.

I got home and had a long ass shower and just relaxed for the rest of the night. I was off work the rest of the week, so I didn't have to do anything and took my time doing laundry and unpacking and getting back into a routine a bit. I'm actually still off work right now, before I went away, me and my manager had like.. a little meeting thing. She was concerned that I hadnt had enough support at work because I'd had loads of time off dealing with stuff with my dad etc. So she wanted to like.. restart me? If that makes sense? So I took some holidays and some unpaid leave (begrudgingly, but she said it would do me best) and I'll start back from my training weeks on Monday 4th September. She thinks if I have all my training again and have a proper chance and a proper start at things without the stresses of having to look after dad or any of the other stuff I'd had to deal with, that it'll make me feel more supported and I'll do better this time around. I'm not really sure how I feel about it, cause I kinda feel like it's being forced upon me against my will? But I kinda need the job and they do keep saying it's for the best so.. I'm not gonna argue with them too much about it. Especially if they really are just trying to support me. It just means I'll be able to fly through all my training and stuff and hopefully get really good marks on all my assessments if I remember everything haha.

So um.. now comes the kinda bad part. The bit that's been making me want to just.. *big sigh*. The weekend after my dad's funeral, my aunt was pretty insistent on coming to see me. I was kinda like wtf why? This is my aunt on my mum's side btw, the one who I'm close with and who really understands my situation with my mum and stuff (and really does not agree with how she's treated me at all). She also lives with my gran, who is my mum's stepmum, but she's always just been my gran cause her and my grandad had been together since the late 70's until he passed away in 2020. So.. yeah.. I was a bit worried as to why she wanted to come over and I had asked her if it was important. She turned up at my door like 20 minutes later, telling me that it was and she wasn't going to stay long, but she just didn't want to tell me over the phone or anything, she wanted to tell me in person. Immediately, I panicked. And I was right to. My gran had been sick for quite a few months. Unexplained weight loss, loss of appetite and energy and stuff, some other really weird things that they couldn't explain. They did so many tests and scans and everything and they couldn't find anything. That was, until she had another follow up scan the week before and they called her with the results a couple days after my dad's funeral. My aunt just wanted to give me a couple more days, because she knew I was already upset, that's why she waited to tell me. But um.. yeah.. what they told her is that she has pancreatic cancer. My aunt started telling me this, telling me that they were looking at all available treatment options and that surgery was potentially going to be happening and stuff. The whole time I just stood there staring at her in complete shock. All I kept thinking to myself was "really? Again? Already?". This is now the fourth close family member of mine to have cancer. My stepmum who passed in 2014 (it was actually her anniversary yesterday on the 28th, my first one without dad), my grandad (my grans husband) who passed in 2020, my dad who got sick really suddenly and passed this year.. and now my gran.. so soon after my dad. I really got upset. I can't remember much of that evening because I think I just broke down. They've basically said that they're going to do this really intensive and strong round of chemo to try and get rid. They may also be doing surgery to remove things too. Unfortunately though, this chemo and surgery plan is like.. a one time deal. So it HAS to work. If it doesn't then.. I don't wanna think about the "if it doesnt" right now tbh. I dont know if I'm strong enough to. She started her chemo on 17th August while I was away, but I've been texting and calling, checking in on her and stuff, seeing how she's doing, even while I was away. She's been okay, but over the weekend just gone, she was feeling really sick and dizzy, not eating much or drinking, they nearly took her to hospital because she was dehydrated, but thankfully she's perked up again. She's eating and drinking and feeling a little bit better. She has to get the chemo treatment every 2 weeks and she gets 6 treatments. So there's 5 more to go. I hope her body gets used to it and she doesn't feel as bad as she did over the weekend just past again. But if she does? I'll go help her if I need to. I haven't been able to see her since I got back because I got sick with a cold or flu or something again, so I didn't want to risk passing it on to her, especially when she's going through that and her immune system is already low.

I've been feeling a bit down since I got home too, I'll be honest. This town is just.. it's so shit, there's nothing here and it's honestly just.. bleh. That's the only way I can explain it. I haven't been seeing people much either. I just feel like everyone's too busy for me. I try and reach out and make plans and stuff, but everyone's just.. idk if they're busy or just cba with me. I really hope it's not the latter. But it's kinda shit. Considering everything I've been through this year and am still kinda going through. I also keep thinking more about saving up and moving away from this shithole town I grew up in. I just want to move somewhere where there's more to do or a better life to be had or where there's more opportunities. Idk, it's definitely something I might look into. But right now, I need to be there for my gran, get started with work again and just.. breathe a bit. I can think about all that bigger picture stuff soon. I just need to look after myself and my gran and just.. idk have some kind of normality for a little bit I think.

I really hope you're doing okay too. I hope your doctor's appointments have been going well. I swear to god, if they don't let you keep the piece of your rib that they cut out, I will come over there and I will riot lol. It's your fucking rib, they better let you keep it! Haha. I'm glad you managed to figure out the monitor thing too, that would have honestly driven me mental. I think I'd have also went a bit crazy with that going on, I'm sorry you ended up getting migraines and stuff from it, that really does not sound fun at all. I really hope you're feeling a bit better though and that you've been able to have some good times and some good rest too, considering you've had a lot go on this year too, with all your health stuff and having to move back home and stuff. It seems like we've both had really busy and stressful years so far. Let's hope that the rest of the year is nice and uneventful and has some happy things for us both, I really honestly do hope that for both me and you. We both deserve a bit of a break, let's face it. If I could, I'd come steal you away for a few days so we could have a break together. We could maybe go to Tasmania and you could show me those little markets and stuff you talked about before. That would be really nice I won't lie.

Oh, I also had a dream about you a few nights ago. It was only like a two second thing, but we were standing in a shop and you were laughing at me cause I wanted to buy peanut M&M's? Lol idk why but you were like "Don't you know what they put in those things?!" and I was genuinely so confused and just wanted peanut M&M's lol. It was one of those ones where I woke up and was like "huh?" Hahaha. You weren't being mean or anything, you were saying it more in like a.. jokey concerned way it seemed.

I really really hope you're doing good, E. I really can't wait to hear from you again. And I'm sorry that this is so bloody long. I guess I just wanted to tell you everything and do it justice, tell it like I would if I was sat here talking to you in person or on the phone or leaving you a voicemail or something. Idk it just feels better than way.

I had woke up and couldn't get back to sleep when I started writing this, but now I'm starting to get tired again. It's 7am here now, but I think I could probably get another couple of hours sleep. Hopefully. My sleep hasn't been too good since I got back home again. Probably because I don't really have anything to do during the day other than things around the house etc. So I end up getting bored and napping. Which isn't good but sometimes I just get so cosy lol. I wish I had a cat like Chonky to snuggle up with and nap. I hope she's doing good too. Please give her some pets and scritches from me. Belly rubs too, if you're feeling like a gambling man.

I really look forward to hearing from you, E. I hope you like the photos and stuff of my trip to London.

"If you ever go, all the songs that we like will sound like bittersweet lullabies"

P.S, it was only gonna let me upload one video, so I put them all up on my YouTube. There's a couple different ones, but here's the link for one of them, you can have a look at the rest if you like

and heres the pictures..