#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.

[angelsdean]

ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

[thewxtchwhowrites]

Don’t boss me around

Summary: Hunting is not easy, especially when one of your companions tries to boss you around.

Characters: Dean Winchester x reader; Sam being sam.

Warnings: Is there a real warning here?, discussion, dean being bossy, mention of porn, and Dean of course thinking about his porn.

Words: 1.290 words.

A/N: I'm sorry if have mistakes, my mother language is not English, is Spanish.

A/N2: Second part here

MASTERLIST

Dean burst into the motel room like a tornado, he was really upset, and his hands were moving in some kind of flutter.

"You are crazy...you are a crazy woman"

And when you started this hunt you expected to work as usual: You investigate, you interrogate, you find the place, you hunt the creature and that's it. But you didn't expect to meet Dean Winchester again and his way of commanding everyone around him.

The hunt was going without a hitch until he started giving you orders as if you were a novice hunter, and to be honest you already had enough experience to know what to do, what not to do and how to do it.

You and Sam were discovered while moving around the other side of the barn and the vampire went straight to attack Sam for seeing him first, you had to cut the vampire's throat before Dean's signal. And after that, everything went to hell.

"You said you wanted to work together, honey. But those damn vampires almost killed us because of you…" Dean raised his voice as he tried to take off his bloody and muddy green jacket.

Sam tried to calm the situation, he knew his brother's bad temper, but before he could say a word, you and the green-eyed hunter raised one of your hands towards Sam, pointing at him with a frown.

"No…" They both responded in the same tone of voice. You lowered your hand and then crossed your arms, you looked at Sam for a few seconds, who seemed to apologize to you with his eyes.

"You know what, Dean?" You started to talk, you were starting to get fed up with his temper, you decided to lean against a kind of ornate column that the hotel room had. "They almost had us surrounded, and I had to kill that idiot right then and there, otherwise Sam and I would be being the juice boxes of those bastards"

You pointed to Sam, who was sitting on one again, this time with your hand open. He was sitting at the small table in the hotel room with his laptop, Sam was silently looking both of you without saying a word and trying to heal a knife wound on his arm.

Dean just licked his lips looking at you and then at Sam, he went straight to the bathroom to clean himself up, leaving his bag on the bed, you naively believed that for a moment the whole argument had ended there.

You sat across from Sam in the other available chair and smiled weakly at him. Sam was the real victim of all this, of his brother's behavior more than anything, you looked at your clothes all bloody and dirty, you were exhausted, you even had blood in your soul.

Within minutes, Dean emerged from the hotel room's small bathroom, drying his hands and then throwing the towel on the bed.

"Look, the work is already done. And you and I tomorrow… we won't see each other again."

You rolled your eyes, crossed your arms and legs, and let out a long, tired sigh. How could such a handsome man be so bossy and whiny? You were really holding back the urge to put it in its place, and Sam could see that you were a bomb that would explode at any moment.

"Working with you is like working with the king of hell, and damn, we've worked with that idiot before." He continued talking while you just looked at him in silence, you just weren't listening to him anymore, you just watched the movements of his hands, the tone of his voice and his expressions.

Deep down, you were attracted to Dean Winchester.

You were attracted to the way his eyes narrowed as he slit the vampire's throat, maybe it was more how he seemed to enjoy it.

The way his hands reloaded the gun after he was about to run out of bullets, or how the muscles in his back moved as he moved his arms while aiming when searching a room.

It gave you a strange feeling, a feeling of heat. Maybe the years of hunting had made you develop guilty tastes that most normal girls wouldn't have.

But it wasn't the time to think about that, you had gotten sick of hearing it. So you exploded.

"Mira mi amor, yo no iba a estar esperando tus órdenes, parada ahí como si fuera no sé, una estatua de mármol o algo parecido..."

(Translation: "Look my love, I wasn't going to be waiting for your orders, standing there like I don't know a marble statue or something like that ...")

You began to complain, getting up from the chair in a single movement and walking towards him, staying a few centimeters from his face.

“Tú no eres nadie para estarme mangoneando, como si fueras el rey y señor de toda esta tierra, llevo años cazando y conozco mi trabajo Dean Winchester..."

(Translation 2: "You are no one to be bossing me around, as if you were the king and lord of this entire land, I have been hunting for years and I know my job Dean Winchester…")

You swallowed and took a breath, the atmosphere was slightly stale with a lot of tension. And you decided to end with one last sentence:

"Don't act like you're the only one who always has a great idea, or whatever…"

After having expressed yourself and having imitated his tone of voice and some of his gestures, your hands returned to your waist, and you stared at him.

You caught him off guard and that was notable. Dean Winchester stood in silence for what seemed like hours, trying to understand everything you had said and the tone you had used. Had you insulted him, did you agree with him? Those words didn't sound like any he had heard before while watching porn in Spanish or other television shows.

But to him, they sounded like the beginning of a porno.

Sam smiled, it was funny to see his brother finally quiet since they were in the car coming back from the hunt. He had a sneaking suspicion that you speak Spanish when he accidentally overheard you talking on the phone outside the hotel with someone one night.

"Dean, I think she's letting you understand that he's not following your orders..." You looked at Sam in surprise. "In fact, you should tone it down a little because you've been a little… intense."

"Did you understand what I said?"?" Your gaze was fixed on Sam as you looked at him in surprise, he nodded at you. You let out a small laugh and looked back at Dean, feeling like the winner of said argument.

Your gaze ran up and down the body and face of the eldest Winchester.

"When you're in a better mood, Disney princess, then we'll talk..."

Despite the moment you were still a little angry at the way he had spoken to you, you said goodbye to Sam and headed to your hotel room, turning your back to them.

Dean looked with a frown and open arms at Sam, and he just responded:

"Looks like you finally found someone just like you..."

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part VII

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.

Words: 1864.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

________

You wanted to slap yourself. What the hell was wrong with you today? Why did you tell Peter that?!

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” Completely baffled with you behavior, you were deeply ashamed, unable to look the guy in the eyes and wanting nothing but fall into the earth.

“Ah, I got it. It’s Steve, isn’t it?” All of a sudden, Peter let out an irritated sigh, rolling his eyes skywards and rubbing his neck. “Of course, who else would say such nonsense. Blackmail, really? Funny he didn’t call me a stalker or anything.”

“Listen, I didn’t mean it, I’m really-”

“It’s ok.” He closed the locker, slamming its door loudly and making you jump. “It’s not your fault. If I heard that from somebody, I’d be scared too.”

He spent a couple of seconds staring into the wall until he rubbed his neck again tiredly and huffed. It took him less than a minute to regain his composure, and you heard him murmuring, “What a freak.”

He didn't return to the corridor, heading to the sports hall for his PE class, instead moving to the bench in the locker room and motioning you to sit. Feeling terribly awkward, you hoped he wasn't going to do anything out of anger, even though he had every right to be upset at your stupid behavior.

"About what he said," Peter took a deep breath, "it's nothing like that. I don't dig up some nasty stuff in the web to blackmail people. I've never done it. The reason why Mr. I-am-better-than-you said that is because I've made him take me into his little bodyguard group when I heard him talking to Loki. You're nice, and I wanted to help. Of course, Steve started acting like I was some creep, so he refused, and I had to remind him that, technically, he had to report your issue to the administration, not play a hero. I said that if I go and tell the whole story to the dean, Steve's gonna be in trouble because he knew who thieves were and didn't report them."

It was a loud off your mind. Goodness. Rogers called this a blackmail? Really? Just because Peter pushed Steve into taking him into their group?

You were less and less sure Rogers was sane. You definitely had to be careful around him.

"I can't believe he called it a blackmail." You admitted quietly, and the guy sent you a tired smile. "Peter, I'm so, so sorry. It was so stupid of me."

"Nah, don't worry. I'd freak out too if I didn't know the whole story."

You knew your apologies weren't enough, but you hoped Peter didn't take it to heart - if you can take such an accusation easily, that is. Shit, shit, shit, why did you believe everything these guys were saying? You didn't even know them in the first place! Why on Earth did you go asking them their opinions on others if all of them were biased, and every guy could twist the truth the way he liked? You shouldn't have let their words affect you that much.

"Whatever. At least now you know what Rogers is like." Peter sent you a grim smile and got up, picking his bright yellow sackpack from the floor. "Shit, I gotta go if I don't wanna be late. Let's meet in a library later, alright?"

"O-of course." You hurriedly stood up and left the lockers room after him, turning to the library: your Lit class was cancelled, so you decided to go study right away. At this time, the library was usually full, and you felt safe there.

Your thoughts were all about the guys again even when you were staring at your laptop, trying to focus on Excel numbers. Why did you feel like the atmosphere between them was so dense? If they were at such terms with each other, why did they group together to help you? What, because all of them loved you so much? It was ridiculous. There was something else to it, and you didn't know. You had a feeling no one was going to tell you the truth until you figured it all out by yourself.

Weird. It was all so weird. Steve's plan, their behavior, the relationships between them, and your nagging feeling they all were hiding something. Was it them who were actually following you?

The thought scared you to the point you started shivering. Oh shit.

"Hi there," the guy appeared behind your back so suddenly you almost jumped, looking at him wide-eyed, "sorry, did I startle you?"

"H-hi Jake! No, it's ok, I was just... studying." Both of you were talking in hushed voices, knowing the librarian would kick you out immediately if she heard some noise. "How are you?"

"I'm great, how're you?" You could hear concern in his voice: he was one of Thor's friends you met yesterday, and although you spoke briefly, Thor definitely told him more about you. "You look a bit worried."

"Oh, it's Math, I didn't really understand the topic, and we're having an exam on Monday... guess I'll be studying the whole weekend." You gave him your best smile to reassure you were totally ok, and the guy relaxed a little, smiling at you, too.

"I'm sure you'll pass. Thor said you're very smart."

What, he said that to all of them? Was he simply boasting about his girlfriend to his friends or was there something more to it?

"You're too kind. Thank you."

His smile grew wider, and he landed on the next seat to yours, resting his hands on the table. Apparently, there was something he wanted to talk to you about, and you grew uneasy.

"Listen, about these incidents... Thor told us all about it, so if you see any freaks following you around, you can message any of us, and we'll come right away." Looking at his serious expression, his bushy brows furrowed, you hoped he eas being sincere with you: you had enough with people you could no longer trust. "And also... that kid, if he's giving you troubles or anything, just let me know, and I'll tell him to keep his hands to himself"

Oh, he was talking about Peter, wasn't he? He had probably seen that silly photo. Wow, you though, Peter was totally right about Instagram: it was the best news source in the academy.

Thanking him for his concern, you laughed a little, convincing him there was nothing serious except for the theft and promising to tell him if anything weird would be going on. While it should have made you feel safer, in fact, you only grew more frustrated with this situation. You wanted to forget about these freaks and just spend you day like any normal student would, but everywhere you went people were staring at you as if you had a horn; one boyfriend or the other was always close to protect you from some unknown danger, and although you believed they tried to help, you hated the feeling they were hiding something from you. Why did you have to be going through all this? Wasn't it really better to drop off school, spend a year working and then apply to a better place?

Thinking of the faces your parents would make once you returned home, you realized it wasn't. This school with all those creeps wasn't worse than home that never felt like a safe place you wanted to come back to. Besides, all money you saved up until now were only good for buying food and things like that: you'd never afford to rent a decent place unless you found a well-paid job. It meant staying with your parents, and it wouldn't be much better than here, just different. If you wanted to drop off, you had to find a good place to stay.

Well, you could at least try, right?

When Peter met you in the library, the two of you no longer talked about anything important, simply studying together to prepare for the exams next week. It didn't feel off: from time to time you met his gaze, and the both of you smiled. You were thankful he didn’t talk about Steve or other guys or that weirdo in the lockers room.

Once you returned home, you went straight to bed, completely exhausted. Luckily, you did much more than yesterday, so you could rest now, but then you thought of Thor kissing you and bit down the pillow, angry at yourself. Why did you keep thinking of him right now?

______________

When you woke up the next morning, you felt like something was off: your body ached, your throat hurt, and your headache was only making it worse. Dammit, you caught a cold, probably. And that’s when it was finally the day to meet Steve, the guy you thought was a mastermind behind all these manipulations that were making you sick to the core. 

Anyway, it’s not like a mere cold would prevent you from doing everything you had planned. You left your bed and went to the bathroom, moving the dresser before again. 

Honestly, it felt terrible. It was definitely because of that flimsy dress you wore to school yesterday when the weather was becoming chilly. Argh. Watching your puffy eyes and swollen nose, you sneezed. Today you had to apply way more makeup to look decently.

Steve showed up earlier than either Thor or Peter: you had to skip your breakfast, hoping to buy something cheap in the cafeteria.

“Good morning.” He said with his everyday polite expression that soon shifted into a concerned one. “Are you alright?”

What, was it that bad? You did your absolute best to apply enough makeup and do your hair. Did you still look so sick?

“Good morning. Yes, I’m ok, just feeling a little sleepy.” You yawned on purpose, covering your mouth with your hand, and Steve’s face softened.

“Did you study all night?”

“Yep, exams are driving me a little crazy.”

“I understand. I also stayed late last night.”

Of course, the student council president studying all days long to be number one student in the academy. If you didn’t know of his twisted nature, you’d think he was the most typical nerd.

You spent most of the time either in silence or talking about studies, the academy, and everything related to it. Steve acted like a gentleman and a scholar, albeit a little too demonstratively. Walking with you as if he were a king of the place, he constantly replied to greetings of others, waved to his acquaintances and smiled. You felt so off you wanted to find Loki and walk with him: unlike Steve, he was considered unpleasant by the prevailing majority of students.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” America golden boy asked you for the last time, and you forced yourself to smile.

“Of course. Thanks for coming, see you later, Steve.”

As he finally left you in peace, you almost fell down into your chair, your fever only getting worse despite the fact you took some painkillers. It was going to be a long day.

_________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic @mariatietacapitu @d3monslust @maybesandohnos @ibeatuptwinks @mangobangi @nectav @whatever-happened-to-the-ducks

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[penwieldingdreamer]

First Meetings

So, now that I have been stuck at home due to my mother's positive Covid test and watching The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings for 6 days straight, inspiration struck again, thank god 🙏😅 The new center of this -maybe- series will be Lee Pace. Of course this is only a fantasy and everything only came from my imagination but with a pinch of real events happening, still it's going to be in an alternative universe.

Thanks for being my beta @fortheloveoffanfic

Hope you guys will like it. Let me know what you thought and if you like to be tagged in upcoming drabbles I have palned and will hopefully be able to continue now again.

Summary: You work as part of the Mae-Up and Hair Crew on set of the Hobbit Trilogy, where you meet many interesting people, but one has gotten more of your attention than you would have thought.

Warnings: none, except for a very long drabble 😅

Words: 1722

You had been part of the crew ever since Peter Jackson had started working on the Hobbit trilogy in 2011 and met everyone that had been essential to the movies on and off screen. Apparently Fran had seen your work first hand when you were at a competition for make - up artists and she was impressed by the end results. You hadn't won any of the prizes but you were only one against one hundred others and yet she wanted you to be part of the second historic movie trilogy PJ did in his life.

The first people you had met were of course the dwarves and Martin who was Bilbo in the movie. They all were fun to be around, especially Dean and Aiden, as well as James Nesbitt who would always greet you with jokes or a song, giving you something to look forward to during those nearly endless days of filming.

And then, at the ending of shooting the first movie of the trilogy Philippa came up to you, a very tall man following behind her. You had just gotten done with James' make-up and wanted some fresh air, with all the fumes inside the trailer you sometimes thought you might get sick, so you sat outside, watching the pair walk over to you.

"Y/N," she said in greeting, a smile breaking out on her face. "May I introduce you to our newest cast members. Lee is going to be Elvenking Thranduil and he's in need of your service." Pippa, as you called her, had always had a way with people and she was next to Fran and Pete the only one of your bosses you could be yourself with and even call family away from your own. In your former jobs you had only been the one for the make-up, the one being ordered around and not even been able to give an opinion to change should something not look right on the person. But here, you were part of the crew and they would listen to you.

"It's nice to meet you." You said, holding out your hand for the actor to shake. With a smile in return he grabbed it and you had to concentrate not to let your reaction show on your face. Holy shit, his hands were huge compared to your smaller ones.

Only your boss's voice pulled you back to the task at hand. "So, Lee needs to get into his wig and ears and we'd like to try the crowns with the wardrobe department. Let's say meeting in an hour and a half over at costumes?"

"Oh, uh, sure." you mumbled, hastily disentangling your hand from his. "I'll send him right over when I'm done."

Pippa grinned at you. "Why don't you come over, too? We wouldn't want there to be a repeat of Elrond's circlet like the last time."

A soft sigh escaped your lips, nodding your head you stepped up onto the small stairs outside the trailer. "I'll bring him over then and make sure the wig will be in one piece once you guys are done."

"Great, I'll see you guys later!" she said, clapping her hands and walking off, leaving you with the giant in human form standing in front of you.

Once he made sure she was out of ear shot, Lee turned back to you, a smile plastered onto his face. "Do I want to know what happened to that wig?"

"I don't think you want to know, it was a mess and the guys making the wigs were so angry because the circlet Hugo was wearing in the fitting got caught on the strands and ripped it in half. They had to do it all over again."

Nodding his head, the actor entered the trailer behind her. You told him to take the empty chair next to Richard, who was getting ready for his scenes and he took the time to watch you flit around in your workplace. Everything was chaotic and still in order all the same. When you had come back to your place, the prosthetic ears and wig in hand, Lee grinned at you, his dark blue eyes shining with mirth. "Well, we wouldn't want another repeat for the King of Woodland Elves."

"At least you're already in character, then." Richard mumbled next to him with a laugh trying not to interrupt the woman doing his make-up for the day, listening to the words leaving his co-stars mouth.

Watching the actor, who was Thorin in the movie series, he laughed. "I just need to get my crown and wardrobe and I'll be good to go, everything else is already perfect."

Ruckus laughter floated through the trailer and you couldn't help but admire the shape of his face. Before you could stop yourself, you had already mumbled a 'yes, perfect' and Lee's eyes turned back to you. You felt the blush creeping over your face, swiftly grabbing a comb and a few clips to prepare his own hair for the wig cap you were going to be putting on under. All had seen the flush spread out on your skin and Martin who was getting up from his chair next to you send you wink. That was a great way to make a first impression on the day of meeting a new part of the movie series. You were scolding yourself inside, making sure to only talk to Lee when he was asking something, otherwise keeping your mouth shut.

"Okay let's see the green coat again with the silver overcoat. Y/N, be a dear and bring me that one please." Ann Maskrey, one of the costume designers asked you, while Pete and Pippa watched Lee getting dressed in the green coat. You walked over to the wardrobe and took the first silver coat. "No, not that one, the one with the deep orange silk on the inside." So you took the correct one on the second try and held it out for Lee to put on. He grinned down at you, pulling the coat over his shoulders and straightening himself. It would be easier if he wasn't such a giant, but he was a handsome giant.

"Right then, that looks good. Let's try it with the smaller branch crown."

You sighed, hoping there wasn't going to be another wig fiasco when you helped putting the crown on. Weta had done an amazing job designing all the pieces for the movies, for all movies they worked on, but sometimes these things were a bitch to work with. Your comb and pins at the ready, he sat down on the chair, pulling the knee-high boots on over the leggings he wore underneath.

"I'm going to be gentle but if I should hurt you with the pin please let me know." you told him, lightly pinning the crown to the wig so it wouldn't fall off.

Lee had closed his eyes, hiding the bright blue contacts he wore for his role. "I can take my fair bit of pain, but if it's intolerable, I'll let you know. So far I can't complain about these gentle hands."

By the time they had taken pictures and you had finally calmed down again so the flush that had started to spread over your face and neck at the close proximity to Lee was controlled again, Ann had asked you to take off one crown and exchange it for the larger branch crown with red leaves.

"I think this is going to be a lot more striking for King Thranduil then the other one."

So you repeated the process, gently combing the wig while Lee sat on the chair, chewing his gum and closing his eyes. He even held the hairpins in his hand because he saw you struggle to get them out of the confines of your little bag. When he moved it closer to you to work with your finger touched his and if you didn't know better there was a tiny spark from that brush of skin.

Finishing up, you grabbed the unused pins from his hand and told him you were done, giving the tall actor a light tap on his shoulder. Just as he walked over to the small area where they viewed him in his costumes, the door opened and Martin and James walked inside.

"Sorry, you guys but we had a small, unfortunate accident." the Irish actor apologized, showing the burst seams on his pants. "We were doing our stunts and well."

Martin grinned, walking over to you and throwing his arm around your shoulders. "We also wanted to see what all the fuss was about that haughty elf king."

Giggling, you looked over at Lee who grinned at his co-stars and repeated the walk he did before.

"Just so you know, if I were a female dwarf, I'd tap that elf ass." James whispered into your left ear, your once controlled blush intensifying again while the blond actor nodded his head enthusiastically.

"He's a perfect elf, you know. Broad shoulder, tall, elegant, striking eyes. The hair." Martin spoke so only you and the dwarf actor could hear.

"The long legs." James added, nodding his head over to the American actor who strutted along the area, having thrown off the overcoat.

"That smouldering look." the Brit continued before you held up your hands.

"Enough, you." You hissed so no one would know what you had been talking about, but you knew they were only trying to rile you up. Yes, Lee was attractive, hell, he was gorgeous and Pippa and Pete did an amazing job casting him, but you knew him for less than a day. He could be a total asshole when he didn't have people to impress for his first day on set. "You guys should get to Lucy or Sam so they can stitch up those holes."

"Well, I'm going to tell you this, one day you'll end up with a guy like that and you'll remember what I told you. You deserve the best in your life, luv." James told you proudly, pulling you closer into a one armed hug. He was brother and father to you in one person and you knew that his words were going to bite you in your ass.

They always did.

Taglist(I wasn't sure who to tag, also who might want to read it, so please let me know if you don't want to see mor of this in your notifications)

@fortheloveoffanfic @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @meetmeinthematinee @omg-imagine @fanficsrusz @eevee-of-rivia @fics-not-tragedies @omgkatinka @fuck-yeah-hope @wholelottatiffy @axshadows​ @a-really-bi-girl @madbaddic7ed @maggiemoo1892 @pinkzsugar @agniavateira @mary-ann84 and everyone who might want to read this.

[supraveng]

Moving On - part 4

Summary: You are moving on from your past and starting a new life with your future as a Winchester

Characters: Reader x Sam Winchester, Dean x Cas, John x Mary, Joy Winchester

Warnings: fluffy Winchesters, swearing

Moving On part 3

@iamwarrenspeace @mythandmagik    @lieswithoutfairytales   @bbmommy0902  @hailmary-yramliah  @jessyballet @paryl @tcc-gizmachine @vicmc624

The next two weeks in DC were a blur of meetings and packing up the personal belongings you had accumulated over the past 4 years, most belonging to Joy. By the time you were heading to the airport and saying goodbye to your life, you were feeling a bit overwhelmed. It reminded you of your escape from NY but this time with a bit more excitement of the unknown.

Settling in on the plane heading for your new home, you had brought everything you could think of to keep Joy occupied on the 3 hour flight. By the time you touched down and made your way through the airport to baggage claim, your daughter had become a deadweight that you were now carrying along with your other items, you couldn’t imagine never having the support you currently have from Sam.

Then you thought about trying to make this same trek with her if you were further along in your pregnancy and knew you couldn’t do this alone, you consider yourself a strong independent woman, but not nearly strong enough to be a single mother, those women were warriors that you could only aspire to.

Baggage claim was a madhouse and just as you are about to reach out and grab Joy’s car seat, someone moves around you and grabs it right out in front of you. You were too tired for this, and you looked up to yell at the culprit only to see the beautiful hazel eyes of the man you love.

“I thought I told you that you didn’t need to pick us up” you whispered, hoping to not wake your daughter.

He leaned in for a quick kiss, “I know, but I’ve missed my girls, and this way I get an hour just the two of us before getting to my parents house for dinner.”

“Well, I could definitely eat, but I thought you would be in court all day, so I really am surprised to see you” you snuggled into him as best you could before he started to take bags off your shoulders.

“Let me get this stuff, and you hold on to the precious cargo” he smiled down at Joy, rubbing her back and placing a kiss on her forehead before leading you out of the airport.

By the time all your things were loaded in the car, your daughter was waking up and squealing when she saw Sam. He listened and responded to her the entire way down the highway and only stopped when we reached the Winchester home.

"Babe, I thought we'd be going to your apartment, I could use a shower and nap before dinner with your family" you tell him as you lean over and pull him into a kiss. Whenever you two were apart for any length of time you were always very touchy feely that first day, but even more so when it's been weeks apart.

"Didn't I tell you, I didn't renew my lease, I've been staying here for the time being until we get our own place" he mentions as he exits the car.

"I vaguely remember you mentioned your lease but I thought we had a few more months'' you try your best to smile. You were really hoping for a quiet night in with Sam, but it looks like that's going to be postponed for who knows how long.

Before you even made it to the door, Mary was coming out with a huge smile on her face and pulling you into a hug, “we’ve missed you around here, well I probably missed you the most, there are too many men around here” she whispered before releasing you.

“Nana!” was heard from inside the car as you saw your daughter try to unbuckle and reach her grandmother as soon as possible. You were about to go to her when Mary stepped up, “please let me, I need snuggles with my Joy”.

“By all means, but she slept most of the flight, so she’s going to be full of energy” hoping to warn Mary but by the look on her face, she doesn’t mind at all. The two are running toward the house as you help Sam with your bags from the trunk.

You always loved the Winchester home, large but still inviting, spacious but still cozy, and the fact that every member of the family; immediate and extended; welcomed you with open arms from the beginning was the best feeling.

Growing up in foster care, you never had a home, not for more than a month or two at a time. Then being on your own since you were 15, you never expected to be here now, but it was as if all the years of struggling and trying to find yourself had been worth it to get here.

Becoming a Winchester was something you never knew you always wanted and desperately needed. You can hear Mary and Joy chatting in the kitchen as you make your way upstairs hoping for a bit of relaxation before you become completely exhausted. Sam pulls you into a warm hug before you’re even completely in the room.

Calming any nerves with a kiss to your forehead. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the apartment, I’ve been working so much trying to catch up so that we could have a nice weekend together as a family now that you are officially moved to Kansas that it completely slipped my mind. What can I do to make it up to you?” looking up at him you could see a glint of mischief in his eyes.

“There’s nothing to make up for, but if you were offering a back rub before my nap, I would greatly accept.” as you reach up and kiss me softly before making your way to the bed to remove your shoes.

“Well, if you insist, but I’m almost certain my world famous backrubs is what got you pregnant the first time” he chuckles as turns towards you.

“Good thing we don’t have that to worry about” and you kiss him again. Snuggling as close as you could to Sam, you fell asleep almost instantly, his arms being your safe place, your home.

Waking up with a chill, you realized you were now alone and the absence of Sam made the room feel like a freezer. Quickly getting up and showered, you made your way downstairs to find your family.

You smiled watching Joy, curled up in Dean’s lap watching Scooby Doo, both laughing at the same spots, those two had such a great bond.

"There she is, how was your nap?" Mary asked as she entered the living room from the kitchen with Sam following behind.

"Wonderful, thank you. I promise to not disappear on you again" you told her as she pulled you into another hug.

"No need to apologize for allowing me more time with my granddaughter" as she moved towards the sofa and handed Joy a drink.

"Dinner will be ready as soon as John gets home, so I didn't think she needed a snack right now"

"thank you, but I was planning on cooking for y'all tonight" you told her as you and Sam joined them, while Joy and Dean shushed us for interrupting their show.

"Don't worry about that sweety, John is picking up dinner on the way here, we're just happy to have you two back in town"

The Winchesters were always so inviting, you had dreamed of a family like this when you were growing up and now you finally had it.

By the time John had come in with dinner, the tv had been turned off and you were helping your daughter clean up as Castiel came in and greeted you both.

"Unca Cas! I sit wit you" Joy squealed as she ran and hugged his legs.

"I've missed you too, and as long as it's ok with your mom" He crouched down to her eye level before she was throwing her arms around his neck.

"Don't you want to sit with your favorite uncle?" Dean asked as he patted the seat beside him. Joy laughed as she climbed into the seat between them "luv yu unca bean" and blew him a kiss.

"So, Y/N, we are so glad you two are back for a visit, how long do we get to keep you this time?" John asked as you all started eating.

"Well, about this visit, its um" looking at Sam for some help as he just shrugged with that cute smirk on his face. "Sorry, I'm not sure how to say this and I didn't really have a plan but, this isn't a visit" you looked around and everyone seemed a little confused. "We have officially become Kansas residents as of today"

"Oh, that's fantastic!" Mary told you as everyone seemed a bit shocked.

"Were you able to transfer to a local office?" John asked.

"No, actually, I resigned but they call it retiring so they have the option to hire you back when they need the help, but I don't think that will be a concern for many years if ever" you state trying to reassure Sam that this is it for you, for your family to be together.

"I'm happy for you, sweetheart, but that seems a bit sudden. Is something going on?" Dean seemed to be concerned by your sudden change.

Finally Sam spoke up, "yes Dean, something is going on" he smiled down at you. "Y/N wants to move the wedding up and become a Winchester as soon as possible."

You smirk at him and look back at the family, they seem happy but a bit confused. "Sam and I have a little surprise" you tell them as he squeezes your hand "we are expecting"

There was a unified gasp from the table before everyone was congratulating you.

Once the celebration was over it was time to put your daughter to bed, but with a house full of her favorite people you figured you wouldn't be able to do it tonight even if you wanted to. While Mary opted for handling bath time, the rest of you settled down on the patio, the men opting for whiskey to end the night while you stuck with a cup of tea.

"Might I suggest the name Dean, if it's a boy?" Dean told you with a smirk on his face.

"Really?" you asked "you don't want to use the name for your own kids?" Dean looked a little shocked but shook his head almost defeated.

"Come on Dean, you and Cas would make amazing parents, you never thought about it?" you questioned.

"We discussed it but I'm not sure kids are a realistic idea with as much as we work and travel all the time" he shrugged looking defeated.

Noticing Dean give Sam a pointed look, you realize you may have overstepped and decided to drop the subject. “Well, as your sister-in-law, I support any decision you make for your family. You need to do what's right for you"

The morning was a whirlwind of finding what you needed amongst the bags you had packed and boxes you shipped, but ultimately you were able to get yourself and Joy looking presentable for breakfast with the family. By the time you make it downstairs, John is kissing Mary goodbye and heading towards the door. “Papa wait!” Joy runs full speed and hugs John's legs. “Oh sweetie, I’ll be home tomorrow and we can have a whole day together, how does that sound?” he asks as he leans down to give her a goodbye hug. “Yay, I wan pancakes” as she runs to the kitchen to find her Nana.

“You are working on Saturday? That’s awful” you tell him as he pulls you in for a hug also. “Small little hiccup, I’m hoping to make it back tonight but just in case, I will see you all tomorrow” he waves and is out the door. “So mom, do you think you can keep an eye on your granddaughter for a few hours? I have something I want to show Y/N, and maybe grab lunch in town”

Within the hour the two of you are driving through Lawrence and he’s pointing out all his favorite places growing up before he stops in front of a beautiful two story house on the north end of town.

“So what do you think?” he asks as he opens the car door for you

“It’s beautiful, but what are we doing here?” you ask.

“Well, I was looking around and found this place, and thought we could have the wedding in the backyard” he tells you with a small grin.

“This is perfect, I wanted something small and intimate, but this is just someone’s house. Why would they rent it to us for our wedding?” you question as you walk around the house to the backyard.

“Well, that was the catch, we can’t rent it, so I bought it” he responds with a look between hope and apprehension.

“You bought a house?” you were shocked to say the least. You weren’t sure if you should be upset that he made such a big decision, but Sam was always one to surprise you.

“Yes, for us, technically it’s not ours until we sign the final closing paperwork on Monday but we need a place of our own and what better way to start our family than in our own home” he pulls you into a hug and you can only respond with a huge smile

[sofreddie]

Serendipitous Souls (Part 2)

Summary: They've been bonded by Chuck. Now what?

Characters: Dean x OC!Reader, Sam

Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 1,385

A/N: Still building here as our characters become acquainted.

"Sam," Dean breathed out, releasing Y/N and running to his brother's side. Sam was fine, with some residual aches over the ordeal, but fine nonetheless. Dean sighed with relief and patted Sam on the back before standing straight and running his hands through his hair in frustration and relief.

Y/N stood awkwardly, watching the brothers and trying to process what had just happened.

For starters, she was sucked from her couch at home - in her pajamas no less - into the damn show she was watching on TV. Yeah, see, that should be crazy enough. But then she finds out those characters are suddenly real, she's a soulmate to one of them, and she's pretty sure she just had an arranged marriage by God to said character. Her mind is refusing to acknowledge there is even a 'part that comes next'.

She could run, she thinks. That's her first instinct. To get away. To run from what she can't handle. But she's in another universe, with no one and nowhere to go. And she's pretty sure the Winchesters would just catch her before she made it to the door anyway. She fidgets on her feet, one arm holding the other, trying to offer herself some form of comfort in this awkward situation.

"Dean," Sam hisses, nodding in Y/N's direction. Dean follows his eyes, as if suddenly remembering she was there.

"Hey," he says with a big breath, coming towards her and pulling out the closest chair, "Maybe you should sit?" he offers with as much a smile as he can pull off at the moment. She hesitates before slowly moving forward and lowering herself into the chair, on the very edge of the seat, back straight and hands clasped between her knees. She's literally on edge.

"Drink?" Dean offers, watching her nod before pouring out three glasses and handing them out. The three of them sip in silence, Dean's eyes wandering over Y/N. She's an average sort of beauty. Tall for a woman, but still shorter than himself. She's bigger than the average woman too, but shapely. He can see that through her slightly baggy pajamas. His mind so helpfully reminds him that Marilyn Monroe was five-foot-ten and a size sixteen - a true 'plus-sized' beauty and Y/N for sure has that sort of build.

His eyes continue to wander, admiring her 'child-birthing' hips. Cause that's what's coming next, isn't it, his brain so helpfully provides. Consummation, as Chuck put it. But Dean knows. Chuck really meant mating. All these sorts of rituals require it.

"So," Sam chimed in to break the silence after polishing off his glass, "We should probably talk about everything," he sighed out reluctantly, watching as his brother nodded and took the seat across the table from Y/N. Sam let the silence drag out a short while as he waited for either of them to speak to each other. As it was, they couldn't even manage to look at each other.

"It's about three hours to midnight," he continued, but the pair stubbornly remained silent.

"I'm sorry," Y/N's sudden apology cut through the silence, both brothers brows furrowing in confusion.

"Why are you sorry?" Sam asked first.

"Because," she shrugged, "You don't know me and I don't know what happened to lead to this, but I-I know Dean never wanted something like this, especially someone he doesn't know," her words became more hurried the longer she went on, "A-and he deserves so much more than I could ever give and-"

"Whoa, hey, breathe," Dean finally spoke, urging her to calm down, "You don't need to apologize for anything. None of this is on you."

"B-but I'm just a fan," she emphasized, "I like the show but to be in it?" she huffed, "I'm gonna get you killed or get me killed-"

"We won't let that happen," Dean promised, his gaze serious and steady. He sighed heavily, "Look," he said, focusing all of his attention on her, "If anything, all of this is on me," Dean stated with a shake of his head. Sam groaned and rolled his eyes so hard his head rolled with it, "It is," Dean insisted to his brother.

"How?" Sam scoffed, "Please, explain to me how you've managed to work it in your mind that this is all your fault."

"He said I never worked right, never did what I was supposed to do," Dean argued angrily, "That the only difference between me and all the other Dean's was that a chip of my soul broke off when I was made and became Y/N," he said in a huff, putting apologetic eyes on her, "He sent you away so I could never find you. So we could never be together."

"Then why did he bring me here?" Y/N whispered, her gaze still on the wood grain of the table in front of her.

"Because," Sam shook his head with the nonsense of it all, "Chuck thinks that with you two being bonded, and thus Dean's soul being whole, that Dean will finally play along to his stories as he wants," he paused to finish off his drink before sucking his teeth, "And I think he's gone a little off his rocker and is experimenting with storylines now."

"You realize how fucking fuck-all crazy this sounds, right?" Y/N huffed out in disbelief, her gaze flitting between the brothers.

"Yet it's still not the craziest thing we've ever heard," Dean muttered.

"Or seen," Sam added with a shudder in memory of…something.

"Well, it really takes the cake for me," Y/N huffed out in a humorless laugh.

"Well, you're a fan, right?" Sam asked, "Fans usually imagine these sorts of things, right?" he asked, clearly uncomfortable suggesting such a thing but trying, somehow, to possibly be helpful.

"Imagining and doing are two completely different things," she growled out defiantly, finishing off her own drink. Sam was quick to refill everyone's glasses.

"So you have imagined it," Dean said with a sly smirk, taking a small bit of satisfaction from her shifting. She rolled her eyes and focused on her glass.

"You know," Y/N sucked her teeth before meeting Dean's eyes with a defiant glare, "I guess I shouldn't be so surprised you'd be so ready to sacrifice yourself. For Sam. Again," she huffed with a shake of her head, "I don't blame you for that. I just…there's really no limit to what you'll do to save him, is there?" she asked, the hostility gone and replaces with a sort of sadness, "Even marry a complete stranger," she chuckled in disbelief.

"Well, I mean," Dean shrugged, "It's probably the least damning sacrifice I've ever made," he laughed lightly.

"And an arranged marriage is probably the only way he would've ever settled down," Sam chuckled, feeling the mood becoming somewhat less somber.

"I know there's…more…that we have to do," Dean stuttered out awkwardly, "But afterwards, we can talk about what you want, or don't want," he tried to explain.

He didn't usually struggle so much with women. He assumed it had something to do with their bond and the way he swears he could almost feel her, feel their souls trying to reach out to one another. He had a feeling that if - no, when, his mind helpfully provided - they crossed that line, he would never come back from it. That wasn't something he ever had to worry about with any other woman. Ever.

"So what? We're just married, bonded, and expecting," she huffs out, "And then life just goes back to normal for you and I just exist around here?"

All of this was so sudden and forced on her. She'd be a flat out liar if she said she'd never thought about or imagined things like this before. It's Dean Fucking Winchester! Of fucking course she has! But for it to be real? To be happening right now as she sat in her pajamas and contemplated her greatest fantasies turning into her worst nightmares? Not like this, she pleaded over and over again in her mind. But she knew it was too late. It had already happened and, as far as she knew, couldn't be undone.

Bind myself to you for eternity.

The words from their 'vows' rang in her head. What would her new 'eternity' look like?

Forevers:

@sis-tafics

@lyarr24

@calaofnoldor

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67

Dean Winchester:

@akshi8278

Serendipitous Souls:

@brilovesdeanwinchester

@xhannahbananax03

@440mxs-wife

@crist1216

[remythologise]

Anon you got into Ted Lasso here! Just finished 2.01.

Do we ever learn how Trent's daughter Serafina handled being biscuit-less? This is what the people deserve to know.

I assume Keeley and Rebecca are definitely in a lesbian-centric throuple with Roy by the end of s2 and I refuse to look it up. (Can women be friends? Yes, as long as they also fuck. -- me, queen/king of lesbians and wlw everywhere. Trust me; I was voted in.) Anyway, looking forward to their passionate kiss with tongue any minute now.

I already know Nate does bro crimes. Reading the Discourse™, my opinion boils down to: there are way more south Asian folks in the UK than this casting job would indicate. But also, I'm glad they started his negative character development arc by being cruel to someone below him on the hierarchy. Since Ted and Beard have encouraged his cruelty on multiple occasions, and ignored his posturing in 2.01, I personally think they have reaped what was sown.

I hope he gets a chance to redeem himself in s3. If Rebecca can, Nate should get to. (But I also don't know the full extent of the bro crimes.)

Trent has only had like six lines so far but I miss him sooo much.

DANI ROOOJAS!! Boy, they don't give him much of an internal life, huh? I love him anyway. I hope he starts all of his mental breakdowns in bed with multiple women. He seems like a boy who knows how to make it good for everybody and doesn't mind when his x-some partners are more interested in each other.

Re: Jamie. Normally, I LOVE a mean, sad pretty boy with daddy issues (💖 Dean), but he's so boring.

Ted. I love that they don't make him perfect. He's such a sad divorced man. I want him to give Trent every mustache-related fantasy gay men have for whatever reason. wlw/mlm solidarity.

SAM!!

I haven't talked enough about my great idea (i.e. Rebecca and Keeley should f--

Hello anon I’m sorry I took so, so, so long to answer you!! I’ve had a very tiring few months with lots of work 😩 I’ll put everything you sent under the cut here!

First to reply to the above ask — NO WE NEVER FOUND OUT ABOUT THE BISCUITS. Although I’ll be honest/cynical (which is the tone of most of my replies here, apologies) I’m pretty sure this wasn’t planned out as more than anything but a joke about James Lance having a daughter that age.

Hahaha, I think most of the fandom is on the Jamie/Roy/Keeley train I don’t know if I can see Rebecca and Roy together at all (no…) but Rebecca/Keeley for sure!!!

I agree that Nate should definitely redeem himself. Seems ridiculous if he doesn’t. Although he’s also gone so far unnecessarily and in a sort of irredeemable way in some cases.

OH MY GOD YEAH TRENT NOT BEING IN S2 VERY MUCH WAS SO DIRE. I was impatiently awaiting his arrival on screen every week.

100% agree with your assessment on both counts. Firstly that Dani Rojas should have more complexity and is a weird cartoon at the moment but also he DOES seem like a very generous and emotionally healthy person for a relationship like that.

Interested to see if your opinion on Jamie changed! Personally I’m pretty neutral on him overall but he definitely became a more enjoyable character through Season 2.

I definitely agree that Ted NEEDED to be imperfect as did his method of teaching, but I don’t know if they’ve dived into the right angles of ‘fixing’ the gaps in his method yet (if Nate is meant to be Villain forever, etc., if the show will blame Nate and not Ted for that character arc)

Hahaha many people agree with you there!

I JUST FINISHED 2.03 AND I’M SO PROUD OF SAM BUT SO WORRIED THAT HIS GOVERNMENT IS GOING TO RETRACT HIS VISA OR SOMETHING JGSKSKGS. It was nice to see Sam being able to express his politics without being abandoned. It’s such a fantasy world but it’s good to see glimpses of it from the corner of your eye.

It’s not totally beyond belief but it’s certainly very very heartwarming to see even in fiction. Actually if I’m cynical I feel like it’s not THAT unlikely in real life, if the PR department of a company figure they can get media attention and brand loyalty through defying a well-disliked Moral Evil, that might net them more profit than loss.

Nate: Hi I'm growing more abusive every day. Ted and Beard: We've decided not to address it. This will have no repercussions whatsoever. But I really hope that he's allowed to move on and grow from whatever he did. I think power, money, and fame scramble brains; we're all vulnerable to it.

Yeah for sure, I’d be pretty shocked if Ted Lasso the show never brought back Nate over to ‘the good side’. I figure he’ll probably have a redemption arc where he betrays Rupert just before or during a match between West Ham and Richmond next season.

Also. I could Not watch Led Tasso. No idea what happened, and I never will learn, God bless.

😅😅😅

I didn't read all about the black woman therapist stuff (planning on reading the Discourse after I'm done) but I like Dr. Fieldstone a lot. The way the actor plays her feels so anchored in reality that the exaggerated/TV-sized personalities become cartoonish. I'm also not supposed to eat sugar, so I extra enjoyed the biscuit scene. Yes. Undermine the overly-friendly man who assumes he knows more about your body than you do. Make him question everything.

Yeah that’s true, I think Sarah Niles very realistic and understated in her acting!

Trent looked so good. I don't know if Ted noticed but I saw and I think he's gonna get that man. Also, congrats to Sam for making Trent realize there are other stories he'd like to cover.

kjsdflksdlfkjs yeah I think the Trent Crimm look is just very good, just on a character level it’s SO distinct!

Okay, I've put off the next ep long enough. Surely they won't put a deportation story line in Apple TV's flagship show about hope and kindness, Ted Lasso...

Certainly not, the writers seem to sort of MOSTLY exist in a very post-racism post-homophobia post-local-politics world which I have mixed feelings about. But that makes sense for Apple’s flagship show which needs wide appeal.

sorry I don't know anyone who watches this

No no it’s fine!! I enjoyed all your commentary.

LMAAOOO STANDING UP TO FAKE DUBAI AIR BUT ALLOWING NESTLE PRODUCT PLACEMENT. I know it’s Apple TV™ but still

Exactly 🙄

I am. FULLY on Nate's side. GO evil, baby. BETRAY them. WHISPER SECRETS INTO THE EAR OF THE KING, or whatever. Ted: We have to forgive Jamie and bring him back because he doesn't have a very nice daddy. Nate: He tormented me. Ted: Mhm. Nate 10 times a day: I made the fact that I'm unloved and disrespected into a joke, haha. Ted: Beard: Leslie: Nate: Yeah, alright. Nate: I hate myself and you remind me of everything wrong with me. Therefore, I will be a huge jerk. New Kit Man: Okay. Ted: Beard: Dr. Fieldstone who is like down right down the hall: Wow, another free hour of time. It's unfortunate that there's literally no one left to help. That no one feels overlooked, unwanted, and unloved. It's TOO BAD there's an anti-therapy culture here and certain people aren't encouraged...! Nate: I worked for hours and hours on my ability to do one simple, tiny thing that might win me a moment of your approval. Mr. Shelley: (I can't think of anything dismissive and mean enough.) Nate: Okay, I'm going to go SPIT ON A MIRROR which I literally just got done cleaning months ago, okay I'm breaking stride. My first job was as a maid fully 15 years ago and you know what?? I don't fucking spit on mirrors. Who DOES that. I get that it's a self-hating thing but PEOPLE HAVE TO CLEAN THAT, NATHAN. My original point was that he's once again harassing someone "beneath" him. It's just gross, Nathan. Then Roy comes back, and he's tall and beautiful and in a better suit, and everyone knows his name. Of course Nate joins the Sith. To be clear, I'm not suggesting that what he's doing is acceptable. It's just that, wherever he goes, no one on the good vibes good time lovey dovey team stopped him.

No I think for sure the extent to which Nate has been ground down is overlooked, but I think importantly it is a bit of a like… nobody did that INTENTIONALLY to Nate. Idk I do feel like the writing really missed here for me for a variety of reasons, I’m on Nate’s side but only because I’m so annoyed at the racism of it all. They COULD have tapped more into the likely reality of the situation (Nate being overlooked and not paid attention to historically and even when he has power because of his race height etc as part of it vs. Conventionally Attractive White Men) but of course Apple TV doesn’t go that far...

Anyway. How long am I gonna have to watch Keeley beg for Rebecca's strap? She needs it, Rebecca.

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 lmao I mean. I’m sorta neutral on Rebecca/Keeley because unless they do something about it, that one suggestive line really does tie into the Homophobic Joke train that I am uncomfortable with wrt Ted Lasso esp. with that Keeley bit in the last episode...

Please note that I genuinely love Ted, Beard, et al. I get that they can't be 100% on top of things all the time, and that this whole season is about therapy being important, and your friends aren't therapists, whatever. It's just that hearing someone say "I care about people with [problem], which is why I treat them differently to you," when you have [problem]? It makes you feel like what you experience isn't real or that you don't have it bad enough or that your emotions just aren't worth bothering about. A kissaroo from me to Ted Lasso, is what I'm saying. I contain multitudes.

Hmm, do you mean that Ted shouldn’t have treated Nate any differently anyway, even if he knew about Nate’s compounding issues? Maybe! Although I guess everyone requires different treatment because everyone is unique too.

Alright, next ep! kdkgdkgzkfskfzlgobllgx HEETTYY GUESS WHO JUST MADE A TINY SAD DIVORCED BOY FACE AND IS 100% MY ANGEL BABY SWEETIE PIE HEARTBEAT DARLING ANGEL KITTEN AGAIN. Also also also can you imaginneee Sam/Rebecca they would be SOOO cute. It’s not going to happen because he’s like 21 but still. They’re so compatible and he’s SO GOOD AND SWEET and!!! she supported him!! even though it cost her money!! So I trust her with his precious heart. Obviously I trust her more with Keeley--

Ha. Well. Great message to read with hindsight.

Nate pattern continues! So he's only visible and worthy of praise and affection when he does something impressive. Twitter, of course, is a corrupting force and must be stopped. But it's like Ted said. We've met Nate's parents, so we know why he's broken. This WHOLE season has been designed around breaking him more. Like I just feel like you're not as vulnerable to Twitter brain rot when you were seen and understood and loved by your family, you know?

Yeah of course!

Can you BELIEVE? I actually liked seeing Jamie on my screen.

I see the S2 Jamie effect is taking hold haha!

Also, Beard is dating my ex. Much love to you, Beard. I wouldn't have listened to Leslie Jr., either.

So sorry for you for having to deal with that then. Although unsure if Beard is meant to end up with her or not honestly.

Also, your icon gives me Rebecca/Keeley/Morgana brain rot. Forget conquering France; they'd take over the moon.

I think definitely any media property couldn’t handle Morgana and Rebecca in it at the same time.

He was mean to Will who still has chubby baby cheeks and now his evilness is evil for real. :( BUT MORE IMPORTANTLYYY Trent Crimm The Independent oh my GOD he dates little string bean mustache men that have a favorite 10-key calculator and can't dress. Ted is his TYPE. I've seen the gifsets of Ted walking away from Trent in his butt-huggin' khakis. I know in my heart he was consuuumed with lust. Trent Crimm The Independent probably ONLY dates divorced men. If you're not 40+ don't even look at him. He wants them a little pathetic and a LOT obedient-- (a shepherd's hook pulls me off the stage

SDLFKJSDFLKSJDF yeah. yeah. Eternally asking why they bothered to put that in if not— but no, this is Ted Lasso. But—

I haven't talked about Roy, but I love him. Kiss kiss. He treats Keeley well and gives her so many orgasms.

He does! Although I found him a little same-y and annoying in Season 2 in contrast to everyone else. His and Keeley’s storylines just went absolutely nowhere.

Dr. Sharon I am free on Thursdays are you free on Thursdays when I'm free ma'am? Doctor? Doctor ma'am?? I promise I am sooo normal haha Me after seeing Coach Beard address A situation: YEAH!!! Me after Nate apologizes publicly to Colin: Hmmm, good start Me after he's mean to chubby baby cheeks: 😱😱😱😱😱

You know the other heterosexual swing the show could take is Ted/Sharon (unethical!) your love IS under threat from more fandom/writing 😱 Yeah uhhhh Nate just got nastier and nastier. Unfortunately.

Sam/Rebecca continues to be a very strong mixed gender ship... Congratulations to Ted Lasso for making me want multiple sets of men and women to interact more, and even romantically. Wild how much I care about all of these weirdos.

I agree I actually really enjoyed their relationship as it was portrayed on the show!

Guy who's only watched Supernatural recently voice: Haha I know this is crazy but do you think sometimes people plan TV shows?

Well. In fairness I vastly prefer Supernatural to Ted Lasso which might be the only defence of the pantser vs. plotter approach I ever make.

Ted, if you leave a stew on your stove overnight, you'll burn down your house. :( :( :( See what Ted needs is a mean divorced 4 divorced gay ma--

So true but laughing that you noticed the pot on the stove at all

LESBOPHOBIA??? MY CRUSH JUST GOT HIT BY A FUCKING CAR "I don't have a husband." Yeah you don't 😏 This ep was wlw/mlm solidarity. Thank you for taking care of my future wife, Ted Lasso.

Yeah although that like. Mistaken boyfriend thing is SUCH (an overused and lazy) trope for setting up romance. Why put that in? Hmm. If they go the route of Ted/Sharon they’re going to piss off approximately 80% of their viewership but it did seem to me like it was being set up there.

I can't BELIEEEVE we got a Sam/Rebecca kiss TWO TIMES a Sam/Rebecca kiss. Is this how it feels when relationships develop on television? There's kisses and implied sex? I wouldn't know because, from what I learned yesterday, the great thing about making up funny little people for television is that they're always open for interpretation. You know what I mean?

lksjflkjaslkdfj what a way to timestamp this ask. 💀

Also, shout out to this fucking show for making me realize that Ted started taking care of his neighbor's dog who bit him once around the same time his dad killed himself. Shout out to the concept of taking care of little creatures when it's hard to take care of yourself. Shout out to pre-mustache Ted, who probably went by Teddy and had chubby baby cheeks. I need. Listen. Listen. People won't leave you if you make them happy, right? [static]

The backstory did explain a lot about Ted’s character, that much was signposted pretty well through the early show, I’ll give them that.

Apple Product Placement Count: I gave up like three episodes in. I hope all of Apple TV's shows are like this. I hope there's a show set in the '80s with some Apple nerd using insert name of original computer here so 1984 feels less like 1984.

It’s very funny that the core premise of the show is like ‘well the magic of iPads means Dad can have a job overseas and STILL connect with you, son!’

I don't understand how these are like, 35 minutes. SPN finale was 38 minutes and there were 12 montages. How did they play and lose a whole game? Also, is it weird to you when you watch shows with a budget? There are so many speaking roles and extras. Everyone has multiple changes of clothes. Characters kiss sometimes. Wild.

On my Supernatural Defence box because again I believe it’s a more enjoyable/lasting show to me than Ted Lasso (Season 2, at least) but certainly there ARE good Supernatural episodes… I don’t think Ted Lasso needs as much budget as it has, frankly, that money could be better spent elsewhere.

(The problem is, that one line from leupagus's masterwork replays in my head every time Ted has feelings: "No," says Trent, his mouth quirking. "That’s what made me want to shove my cock down your throat." Like what am I supposed to do, NOT think about Trent Crimm The Independent? Just because he's not in the episode? Just because he's not in the episode and it's extremely disrespectful?)

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

I fucking love that we don't even see why Roy was sent to the bad boys box. We can imagine what he did to anger the ref. Also, I don't know anything about fancy soccer/football with rules that are enforced, so do they really put coaches in time out? Related: do the fans think it's cool nasty boy behavior, or are they like :o this is a job you are getting paid to watch people play a game do your job oh my gosh. Bridget, did you see what that football manager did? He did a cuss at a referee, whose job is to make sure people are playing a game right, which is very hard. How dare he, Bridget. Oh, I know, Todd. Makes me sick, it does. Those poor referees.

Do you know I have no idea. Although in general Ted Lasso The Show notoriously doesn’t actually have very good research or consistency on the soccer lore (which… the show isn’t about that, or narratively doesn’t NEED to, but still).

You ever watch an episode of television and think "hey wait a minute, this IS an artistic medium that's uniquely qualified to tell small stories in perfect clarity?"

Me watching Supernatural 😛

I think the next ep is the finale... Goodness. I haven't binge watched anything in years. Thanks for going through it with me.

I wonder if binging Season 2 would have changed my opinions of the season honestly. I did enjoy Season 1 thoroughly when I binged it. But there are some weaknesses in Season 2 I don’t think a binge experience would have fixed.

I just want you to know that I am one of those viewers/readers/whatever that just fully invests in the emotions of whatever. I'm SOOO gullible. If the protagonist is a demon whose goal is to destroy the veil between worlds and bring hell on earth, I'll root for them the whole time. Then after I'll be like "hey wait a minute, I live there." All of this is to say: 1. Sam is 21 and if this was reversed I would Simply 2. There are 11 minutes left in the funeral ep and I was wrong 3. IF THEY DO TED/REBECCA AFTER THIS I WILL S I M P L Y 4. What the fuck did Rupert say to Nate. Don’t touch him. That’s MY sad little man in the alchemical process of putrefaction so that the detritus around his soul can decompose and his essence can be purified by fire. You don’t fucking TOUCH Nate, Rupert. 5. I’m just. LITERALLY using Sam as a baby step to get back into dating. Literally literally literally. 6. TO REITERATE. IF SAM GETS HIS PRECIOUS HEART CRUSHED AND TED/REBECCA IS ENDGAME. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 7. Like I know that Sam’s characterization was very Happy African from the beginning. I know that. Unfortunately, I am not immune to smiling men who do their best (see: Ted Lasso, Dani Rojas), even when it’s trope-y and shallow (see: Dani Rojas). I get that a good portion of Sam’s storyline this season was designed to give the white characters a chance to be Good Allies (see: Jamie Tartt esp. but basically all of them). But it’s just sooo. Like. It’s so much more PERSONAL to use his feelings and his body.

I don’t think it’s ‘gullible’ to invest in emotions of characters at all! That’s what fiction is for. Even if they are a demon bent on destroying Earth. I can name anime where you empathise with a protagonist with the same premise. 1) is very valid yeah although at least he’s a consenting adult — the unethical part really is the employment/employee relationship, and the fact Rebecca has power over him. The age/maturity divide makes it unrealistic a relationship would work out generally if it were a real thing but… I don’t know, the way they depicted in the show was almost like ‘true love’ (like lightning, to wit!). Not sure what they’re doing there.

2) and 3) - lkdjflkasjdf if this is in reference to Sam/Rebecca yeah I don’t think they’re going to convince me on Tedbecca where there’s like no existing subtext in the show (to ME, although people disagree) and they’ve just put down this Big Damn Romance with Sam. 4) Well honestly as a Anthony Head / Rupert Supporter (for the fun of it) Nate is really the perfect person to use as a weapon. 5) and 6) yeah it’s bad :/ but again the show SEEMS to be like ‘this is true love unlike her other flings’ so REALLY unsure… ? Fandom/audience reaction is throwing me off my perception of the show in a vaccuum, if that makes sense. 7) Yeah I completely know what you mean, I still love those characters even if they wish they were less trope-y and shallow. And yeah on the Sam issue… well. I don’t know what’s going to happen. But Sam deserves more agency than he has had in the story, historically.

Again, there are 11 minutes left. HHHHHHHHHHHH. I guarantee you though that if they wink in my direction and don't shake their head when I mouth "me?" I will shuffle forward into the bear trap every time.

Well, gosh darn. Shoot. And heck! Got me again. Them writin' folks got me again. Gonna eat my hat, I tell you what. He IS just gonna get more wonderful but dagNABbit.

Oh no, my foot, it is in a bear trap. How did this happen? Who put this there? Why? Except--what's this! It's my distaste for the idea of a white woman getting in between a black man's sense of home and comfort, as well as material gain? My distaste has rusted the hinges of the bear trap!! It has fallen away!! OH, the skin is unbroken--a miracle!!--and I am SAVED by how completely, utterly unequal Sam's two options are.

I normally wake up in 30 minutes, but I haven't slept yet. Instead of commenting on All That, I would like to recommend 2 Pesewas. It's a great podcast hosted by two Ghanaian women. They talk about current events and give music recs. I really appreciate their perspectives on everything. Even when I've heard the story before, their angles are always new to me.

That’s a great recommendation, thanks so much! I’ve got a ridiculous podcast backlog at the moment to get through but hopefully I start doing a lot of podcast-involved chores and exercise in the next little bit and can get to trying it out.

Actually, one comment. Was his display of wealth extravagant: - because he inherited his money last month? - because he’s a billionaire? or - because he’s a wealthy African? It felt very fucking weird. I do think that performance was great, though.

Yeah the politics of this were like. Not great, I felt a bit weird about it. I guess ‘billionaires always bad’ not the worst take but ‘minorities with power trying to change the system are secretly part of it’ not the best take. The thing *I* found most egregious was how Ted Lasso was called out for racism by a villian, therefore making his ‘calling out’ invalid and our white hero remains pure. Which it shouldn’t have been!

Once again I must ask Rupert to fall into the sea and drown. Anyway TRENT CRIMM INDEPENDENT TRENT CRIMM INDEPENDENT TRENT CRIMM INDEPENDENT TRENT CRIMM INDEPENDENT TRENT CRIMM INDEPENDENT TRENT CRIMM INDEPENDENT TRENT CRIMM INDEPENDENT CHECKED! OUT! TED'S! ASS!

LSKJFLKSDLFKJS. Come through S3!

He is sooo embarrassing lmao he was like "is anyone gonna meet this sad divorced man like 6 times privately before deciding to rearrange their whole life because he made you realize there are other possibilities?" but didn't wait for an answer. I!!! would love to hear your thoughts! And I will actually read the Discourse after I, you know, sleep.

I have nooooo idea what they were trying to do with Trent Crimm and what they intend on doing in the future but it is very romantic from that point of view! (And I hope The DiscourseTM didn’t ruin your experience too much!) (And very honoured you wanted to hear my thoughts on things!)

Also I think Nate's villain reveal was fucking cool. Good for him. Be evil!! Live a little!!!! Realize Rupert is using you and that your feelings of inadequacy are calls coming from inside the house!!!!!! THROW RUPERT INTO THE SEA, NATE. Inherit the club via falsified will. Build a mansion with your football club money and buy a silk velvet robe. Write out your memoir and sew the pages into the seams. Walk around in you empty house in your crinkly robe and revel in the way your problems followed you all the way here. They're so loyal, Nate. They'll never leave you as long as you keep the perfect environment for them inside you. Stay with them, Nate. Forever.

Scream I absolutely love this imagery thank you so, so much for this. I’m now in support of Victorian-Antihero style Nate ending!

I'm glad I went into this semi-warned, though. You're right; it was fucked. I especially didn't like the like, predatory/inept lover trope. Go and fuck yourself. Also, why does everyone apologize to Roy for what they did to Keeley?

Right? It was so unnecessary! And that is ALSO a great point I hated although in Nate’s case I suppose because (?) if I’m being generous the Keeley thing was more about the man Nate envied and wanted to be rather than Keeley herself (gross).

For the record, at this time tomorrow, I will be clocked in at work.

I’m so sorry I hope your schedule is all nice and readjusted now!

AHHHH okay that’s all. Except I’m so glad Sam stayed and didn’t make it about Rebecca. He’s right; there’s always a third option. Okay, bye, thanks for listening!!

Yeah although where they’re planning on going from here (and especially with the audience reaction to it all), I have no idea.

khxlhdlgydj so I read through some things. Me seeing Sharon in a corporate flat she hasn’t personalized at all beyond her alcohol bottles and sweet folding bike AND THEN she’s late to therapy which she doesn’t even go to, she has no excuse, like how hard is it to start a phone call on time AND THEN she's mean to pedestrians while riding her cool bike and listening to jams: Ohhhhhhh babygirl,, You: This is nothing to me. Who are you, Dr. Sharon Fieldstone? You're probably right re: the actual depth provided by the show itself. I am just very gay and love both disasters and bikes. To me, she seems like one of those professionally hypercompetent people who prioritizes work because she has control over it. Same reason she writes letters instead of saying goodbye. Also, she's gay. The "I don't have a boyfriend/husband" -> "is she gay?" rumors -> "gal pal brides only practice wedding" pipeline. I just made it up but it's real.

Ugh I HOPE she’s gay and I hope we get more from her next season but who knows!! Have no idea what they plan on doing with her character. She was really shafted for no reason at the end of Season 2.

I agree that Ted showing up at her place was incredibly boundary-stomping. Based on where he was, his actions make sense, but it doesn’t make them okay.

It’s always particularly egregious when Ted Lasso does something Not Okay and the show kind of excuses it or doesn’t address it, I don’t know I found this really confronting and weird behaviour that he got away with because he’s a white protagonist. Certainly I assume it’s the same here as the UK that following a therapist home is wildly aggressive behaviour you’d be justified calling the police over, although the show definitely was trying to portray it more as a friendship thing (despite the fact he was addressing her mostly as a therapist and not a friend).

Agreed, she largely existed to provide emotional growth for a white character. But like… Women. (I listened to the second NPR interview, but haven't read the first Slate article yet.

Oh definitely it’s cool to love characters even if they’re not treated very well by the show they’re in!

Also, thanks for letting me liveblog to you. I didn't realize that Nate specifically was such a tender spot for you; I went into this knowing he leaked something and wanted to figure out why. My innate love of fictional villainy, bastardry, and just being a bit mean on bad days then took over. With that stat that's like 7% of the UK population is Indian, his being the only one on the show is rough.

Oh no it’s okay, I don’t mind and I’m happy to discuss it! Honestly it’s just annoying to see it so uncriticised by reviewers/critics/fans/audiences; that’s the REALLY irritating part to me, that it’s just ignored.

I'm mostly sending this to say: if at any point my asks made you uncomfortable or lessened your enthusiasm about replying, there's no pressure to respond.)

It was a pleasure to receive the asks and reply to them!! Again I’m sorry it took so long - I just finished my semester this weekend haha. I’m glad you enjoyed the experience of Ted Lasso!

[msgrumpygills]

I feel like stans don't accept that people might have legitimate reasons to not like their fave outside of who they play on TV or what faction of fandom they belong to. For example, i came into this fandom a Dean girl(gn) and i wasn't a huge fan of Sam until season 5 or 6. I had no problem with Jared however. I adored him. I was very pleased to see a celebrity so open about his struggles with mental health. It became a problem however, when he started using his mental health issues as an excuse to act like a spoiled brat.

Those of us who suffer from various mental issues have a hard enough time trying to shake off the "crazy" stigma and having a celebrity, who seems to be an advocate for mental health awareness, turn around and slam someone who suffered from addiction, publicly shame customer service workers while doing nothing to stop the fans who attacked them in his defense, and assault people while under the influence, then turn around and play the victim while also making jokes about it.....not a good look for us, ya know.

Dont get me wrong, it's okay to make mistakes, people mess up. Its part of being human. Own up to it, apologize and move on. But to blame crap behavior on mental health issues while also trying to be a spokesperson for good mental health.....

I know my fave isn't perfect. He says and does some Fd up Sh** and absolutely deserves to be called out on it. I also know there are people in my particular corner of the fandom are toxic as hell, but their opinions do not influence my own.

I can separate fiction from real life. Who i like and what i like and what i do or do not ship has no influence on how i feel about the actors on some tv show. I didn't like Sam at first but it had nothing to do with any ship or any other characters, i simply just didn't like Sam at first. And that didn't make me hate Jared. Now it's actually the opposite. I adore Sam, but Jared gives me all the wrong vibes. I want to believe he will get better, but it seems like the more time goes on, the more controversial he becomes.

I tried watching Walker, and it was BAD. I tried to talk to people about why it was bad and people told me i was just biased because of my preferences in SPN. A completely different show. I pointed out that jared fudged some things about the finale (5 years vs 6months, blurry "gender ambiguous" spouse.) and was ignored because I don't hate Misha. (All three of them said sketchy things about the finale btw i don't want this to seem like jared was the only one)

I'm sorry to rant like this on your page, but you seem to be one of the only anti blogs that can keep an objective view and I'm seriously starting to get sick of all these people acting like their faves sh** don't stink. They're men. Not Gods. It's okay to call them out. All of them. And no one can tell me that if Jensen had beat someone up while drunk he wouldn't be crucified, or if Misha had called a beloved actors death "pathetic" he wouldn't be cancelled. As they should be. Because those are messed up things to do. No matter who does them. And who ever does those things should be held accountable. Not babied.

I just really wish more people would realize the hypocrisy in their favoritism. I'm sorry. Rant over.

You’re welcome to rant anytime you need, love! 

I have an anxiety disorder and depression, and let me tell you, I was stoked when Jared was so open about his struggles and created AKF. But now it kind of makes me roll my eyes. He only brings up AKF when he’s promoting a new product he’s selling, he rarely ever mentions being a “mental health advocate” unless he’s promoting some product. It comes off as really fake. And I completely agree with you that him being able to hide behind his mental illness as an excuse for everything is gross. The fans totally feed into it too because no matter what happens, no matter what he does, he’s exempt from criticism (well deserved criticism) because of his “mental health”. Him making jokes about his arrest while simultaneously dodging responsibility and accountability for it was a big giveaway to him being able to handle more than the fans think. 

There is a LOT of hypocrisy with Jensen, Jared and Misha and a lot of double standards. I try very hard not to be biased with them though! I think you’re right though that if Jensen had done the shit that Jared has done and continues to do, he’d be ripped apart. Misha would be cancelled in a heartbeat and Jared would absolutely stay silent to it all. Jared does it though? He’s just a big ol’ silly moose with depression! Seriously? 

I’m not saying Jared needs to be perfect, I’m not saying that any of them have to be perfect, but at least own up to your mistakes, take responsibility and practice what you preach. No one has made him face actual consequences so he keeps doing it without learning from his mistakes. 

[queenofgoats]

Thank You For Being A Friend | Imagine a night out with Dean

Summary: On her first hunt, OC fails all along the line and falls into an emotional down. Now Dean tries to cheer her up and takes her out.

Characters: POV fem!OC x Dean

Word Count: 2.746

Warning: insecurities, alcohol, flirtations and words = just spn

A/N: Hello dears!

I wrote this little FF for the challenge from supernatural-love14. My prompt was: "we probably shouldn't be doing this"

The hardest part was definitely the bar. I miss the old social life so, so much! 

Still, I hope you have as much fun reading here as I do writing.

Have fun! :)

"We probably shouldn't be doing this..." I said slowly. Emphasizing each word.

My eyes rested on the two brothers in front of me.

“That's exactly what I told you. I mean, I'm terribly sorry for what happened, but you know...”

Actually, I wanted to apologize last night, but it turned a bit differently somehow.

None of this would have happened if the Winchesters had listened to me. And if I wouldn't have let them convince me.

“I know.” Sam sighed into his coffee.

His brother, on the other hand, didn't seem quite as guilty: “But it wasn't our idea that you would get drunk this hard and jump right at the next dude’s lips.”

Dean had a point.

It should only be a small drink. After months of isolation in the bunker, I was allowed to join a case for the first time. Do some research in the library, get a taste of civilisation and just come out again in general. Easy thing.

Because back in the bunker I had created a whole new definition of cabin fever. Not something to be proud of to be honest.

The case itself seemed pretty clear and totally easy at first.

Nobody would have expected that the wraith with a faible for “Schoolgirl Report” would work with an incubus. Nobody!

The last-named picked me up later in the bar, where we three had toasted, to get revenge on his dead friend.

It was horribly. Bloody. And I had a new topic for my future therapist.

“I’m really sorry.” I finally mumbled.

I felt terrible. Just because of me, Sam was forced to wear a cast on his arm again.

Now it was me who buried her eyes in the coffee.

"I should have known. That will never happen again. Promise!"

Dean looked up: "How would you have known?"

I winced, caught and hesitantly tried to explain myself.

“Well. Actually it was obvious that I normally wouldn't have a chance with a guy like him...

“Oh come on!” Dean interrupted me despising “Don’t do this the girly way.”

“...but it’s true! Please look at you and then at me. I…”

First I started to give more examples of my low self-confidence, but decided against it.

Nothing honest ever comes around in these talks. You're just trying to make the other feel better.

“Okay, wait. Just forget it. I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. Let’s say it was my fault and won’t happen again. Ever!”

I stopped the subject and did not tolerate any contradictions.

Sam seemed to want to say something, but luckily I put him off with my eyes.

Our breakfast ended in awkward silence.

Less than an hour later, I found myself in my motel room packing up my things. Even if unconsciously, I gave myself more time here than necessary.

The mood between us was strange. Of course, once in a while in the bunker we were bitching at each other, but this situation will set the course for possible further cases. Or living together in general.

Exhausted, I sat down on the edge of the bed and fell back with my arms outstretched.

Thoughtfully, I pale my cheeks and let the air slowly escape.

I sure didn't have too much pride to apologize. Mostly too often rather than too little.

But this was different.

The Winchesters had seen a side of me, that no one else had seen before. The little, vulnerable girl who just wants to be good enough. I hated her.

Not even I confronted her myself. I knew from experience that other people got ther completely wrong. Attention whore and fishing for compliments were nicer reactions.

Oh dear Chuck, I prayed that Sam and Dean would just forget about this and never bring it up again.

At this moment I heard car doors slamming shut outside in the parking lot. That gave me a little nudge and I finally got up.

I put my travel bag under my arm. On the heel I turned around again briefly to make sure that I had really not forgotten anything and finally closed the door.

Sam and Dean stood at the Impala and seemed to be talking about something quite emotional.

They even played Rock-Paper-Scissors.

“Hey boys, are we ready?” I interrupted them from afar. Not that I got anything in my ears that wasn't meant for me. They startled and turned to me.

I almost felt a little transported back to school. Despite the queasy feeling in my stomach, I just ignored it. Stowed my things in the trunk and went to my place in the back seat.

Unfortunately the ride didn't get any better. It wasn't that anyone was mad, but there was definitely something between us. How am I supposed to fix it?

A few hours later we arrived at the bunker late at night.

I literally jumped out of the car and ran down to my room. Did I ever feel so out of place?

Probably not. I couldn’t stand them at the moment and needed to be alone for a few minutes.

Just as I threw my jacket on the bed, there was a knock on the door.

“Yes please?” I sounded more annoyed than actually wanted.

Unusually careful, Dean entered the room and looked at me quite defensive.

“I overreacted, sorry for this.” I sighed. “This was not necessary.”

“Yeah, normally you’re not a drama queen. So it’s okay.”

Dean stepped across the room and sat on the edge of my bed: “That’s why I… or we think you didn’t exaggerate this morning. You really meant it ”

We?! Did they talk about me?

I cleared my throat.

“Oh boy... Embarrassing.” It rang out of me.

Dean continued: “Uhm, I’m sorry too! I really am! That didn’t go well for all of us.”

He stopped and fixed indefinite points in the room. Apparently he was looking for the right words.

“You know. You are here… with us all along. And hey, you are a girl and have needs...”

I didn't know where this was going, but I did not like it.

“Dean. No. Seriously. We won’t have The Talk. I told you, something like this will never happen again and it’s fine. Can we leave it at that, please?”

We couldn’t. He raised his finger and looked deep into my eyes: “No.”

I huffed.

“You deserve to have fun and go out from time to time.”

“Yeah and you remember how it ended?”

“That’s why you are going out with me. I’m not a monster and in case of emergency I’ll protect you.”

I looked at Dean Winchester for quite a while.

In the middle of the room I stood there, arms crossed. Trying to hold back my anger.

“Wow. Really. How heroic.”

He hadn't expected this reaction: “What?”

“First: You do this out of pity. Second: Your pity is not big enough. So you and your brother fought to see who had to take me out.”

Caught!

“Why would you think that?” He asked, playing outraged.

“You can’t fool me, Dean. And I saw you at the parking spot back at the motel. You and Sam played about it. Since you always lose and are here now...”

There was silence.

“Wow.” Dean huffed. “You must think I'm quite a dick now.”

“Not only quite.” I said and immediately smirked slightly. Of course I can’t stay mad.

Slowly I walked to the bed and sat next to him.

“I mean… I know you had the best intentions, but... It’s just… Can you imagine how I feel? Going out, just because someone feels sorry?”

In fact, it made me feel worse than before.

“I didn’t mean to.” Dean apologized. “But I want you to feel better. Nevertheless.”

Right the next evening I stood in front of my mirror and applied some eyeliner. Or rather corrected it.

I haven’t opened my makeup bag in ages. Let alone putting on a simple cover stick.

Jepp, I was quite nervous. Even if Dean and I agreed to go out, but as friends, it scared me a bit.

Just couldn’t tell why.

I was so insecure! Every view of myself made it worse. Was the lipstick too much? Maybe I should change the dress. It was way too short! Phew, and my thighs have seen better days.

These months in the bunker didn't exactly flatter my figure.

Maybe I should cancel this evening.

“Hey, swing down sweet Chariot!” Dean poked his head through the door and tapped his watch. “Hurry up!”

Oh dear Chuck, what have I done? It’s not that I think anything would change in the relationship between Dean and me, but still...

“One minute!” I replied and walked quickly to the door.

His eyes went wide and he formed his lips for a whistle.

“Don’t do it!” I interrupted him. “Let’s go. I need a drink. Urgent.”

Dean just laughed and followed me to the Impala. Noticing he also dressed up.

Not a flannel shirt in sight, just a simple but fine black one.

Apparently Dean tried to take my nervousness away and covered everything with slightly gentleman behavior. First held the car door open for me and then, while I reached for the not existing seatbelt,

he held a small bottle of sparkling wine under my nose.

“It’s going to be a four hour drive. Save it.”

Now he had me. I laughed: “Thank you. You’re the sweetest.”

After we left the streets of Lebanon and I took a few relieving sipps, I asked him where we were actually going.

“Vegas, Baby!” was the answer.

I raised an eyebrow: “Okay I’m in, but Elvis takes me to the altar.”

Dean chuckles. “Alrighty then.”

Of course it was not Vegas, but we ended up in Kansas City. And that meant big city. Like really big. Skyscraper. Waste Gas. Too many people. I missed it so much! All of it.

“Oh Dean, you're making me the happiest girl in the world.”

He laughed: “Oh dear, I hear this pretty often.”

What was the last time I saw a billboard with LED lights?

It took us a while to find a parking space and finally to stand in front of a bar. At first it didn't look like anything. I even tried to remember when I had my last tetanus vaccination.

But when we got inside we stood in a very cozy place. Dark red curtains hung on the walls, while the light provided a pleasant atmosphere.

Dean and I chose one of the dark leather sofas that I'm sure has seen quite a few butts in it’s life.

It was so soft!

Excited, I grabbed the drinks menu from the small table in front of us. I spent so many weeks in the bunker, this trip was just liberating.

“Dean, this is so awesome!” I thanked him again. “Do you already know, what do you want to drink?”

He laughed quietly. “Dunno. Couldn’t look in the menu yet.”

It didn't take long for the two of us to place our orders. Just as the waitress left, I turned to Dean.

“Hey erm…” I cleared my throat. “I know, I've been saying it the whole time, but now again, calmly and seriously: Thank you very much Dean.”

I let my gaze wander around the bar and put the next words in my head. A mildly sigh escaped my lips.

“And I know you are doing this, just because you feel sorry for me.”

I paused and raised my hands defensively: “Which is fine! Really! Oh dear... What I actually want to say is… You are a good friend, Dean.”

Something in Deans face changed and he began to look at me like only his brother normally does.

“Do you really think so? For the last time: I’m here with you, because I want to. No lost bet or anything else.”

He rubbed his face, puffing.

“You just think too much.” He stopped while the waitress brought us our drinks.

He grabbed his glas and raised it: “Promise me one thing. Don’t worry about anything tonight and just… have fun.”

A warm smile laid on his lips.

“Promise.” I agreed and toasted my glass.

Some drinks later I was much more relaxed. I completely forgot that I could laugh heartily.

Not a thought has been wasted on the end of the world. There was only this moment. Like a little safespace.

In front of me was no longer Dean Winchester the hunter, but a good friend.

Someone you like to be around. I felt good.

“Hey you two, can I do something good for you?” The waitress asked very friendly.

Dean waved with his empty glass and ordered another round for us.

Toughfully I looked at him: “We already had a lot of drinks. Don’t you have to drive? Cause I can’t anymore.”  

He looked at me thoughtfully.

“Yeah… you’re right. But I don’t want to go yet.”

Dean paused.

“I like it here.” He said with a smirking face.

I leaned back quite drunk: “However, a normal cola couldn't hurt. Otherwise you have to hold my hair later.”

We decided to take a motel afterwards near the bar.

“...you had to see Sammy's face! He was so pissed!”

Dean told about his poor brother. Siblings were the best and the worst at the same time.

“That’s mean.” I commented. “Hilarious, but mean.”

A lot more drinks later we just fooled around. At first I didn't notice that we were sitting very close together, only when Dean put his hand on my knee.

I looked down confused, but let him do it.

When was the last time something like this happened to me? Way too long! Then I thought about WHO was actually sitting next to me. And winced.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked unexpectedly softly while not moving his hand.

I huffed. Not that I was uncomfortable, it was just... new.

My cheeks literally glowed. Slightly nervous I smiled at him.

“No. Erm wait. Yes. I’m okay. Yeah.”

Accidentally my eyes stuck on his lips. His so perfectly formed lips.

Have they always looked so soft?

I forced myself off Dean's forbidden beautiful lips, only to sink into his eyes.

Now I knew how a moth felt in the face of the moon.

“I am really glad that you are here with me.” His voice was more like a breath.

We both leaned forward a little at the same time. Barely noticeable.

My heart jumps right into my throat. I knew what was about to happen, but my insecurity cut it off.

Why did I fool myself into this situation? Dean Winchester would never. Especially not with me. That’s ridiculous. I’m ridiculous!

Suddenly Dean brushed a lost strand of hair from my face and gently ran his finger down behind the ear until it reached the chin. There he paused.

The skin he touched felt electrified. My goosebumps had goosebumps!

“Don’t think too much. Remember?”, he taught me.

His voice forced me out of my head and back into the bar. Back to his eyes.

I wasn’t able to say anything. So I just nodded.

The hand went back up from the chin. Very slowly. Stroking my cheek and sliding in my hair.

His touches calmed me.

He got to the back of my head, slowly pulled me towards him.

When our lips touched a switch inside me flipped. I was no longer able to think anything up, just let myself go. While his scent settled in my nose and seemed to rise into my head.

The lips were much softer than I could have dreamed of. They tasted a little like whiskey.

My eyes closed all by themselves and my body leaned itself towards. Even my tongue had developed a life of its own and began to ask for entrance very carefully. Just to be met by Deans.

I put my hand on the back of his neck and moved down. Resting at his chest.

All of a sudden I became aware of what I was doing. And with whom.

Against my own will, I broke the kiss and only brought as much distance as necessary between us.

“We probably shouldn't be doing this.” I lied to myself, but not moving my hand from his chest.

Dean sighed heavy: “Would you just stop saying this?”

Barely pronounced the last words, he pulled me into an intense kiss again.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XXXVIII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

I can't be mad at you.

(8x21/8x22 1st part)

Hello my friends!!! We are so close to finish season 8!!!! I can't believe how far we have come with these series of metas! I'm emotional right now... 😢💚💙

I had to put episode 22 in two parts so I can analyze in a better way.

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder because she made the gifs for this meta, Thank you girl!! 😘💕💕

Now let's start talking about Castiel... And how after ran away, he had Dean present...

Smart Heart and Beer

In episode 8x21 The Great Escapist (Edlund's) we are in front of a great strategist as Castiel is. He was avoiding the angel using the different locations of Biggerson's restaurant.

He had a little chat with one of the waitress, and asked for an interesting dish with tempura...

KARA: Uh, I'm sorry, mister, but you're gonna have to order more than coffee if you wanna keep the table.

CASTIEL: Of— of course, um. [glances at a menu] I'll have the smart-heart beer-battered tempura tempters.

KARA: Of course. Coming right up.

Read at that dish choice, the name is so symbolic... Smart heart... Is Castiel battered in beer... Is Dean.

Even knowing he had to left Dean behind, choosing the was decision over any other emotion, Cas is still battered in beer, he's still thinking about Dean and what he did to him. We will know better in episode 8x22 when he will try to fix things with the hunter.

What other proof do we have to say Cas was thinking about Dean, to protect him, and missing him and worried about how Dean would be feeling now? Well... This scene right here ...

Who's that good friend? Obviously he is talking about Dean, so, we had two comments Cas made about Dean. Proofs that he had him in mind, worried about him... Gawd... Destiel is gonna be the death of me... I'll be writing Destiel metas from my grave when I get old and die.

Castiel is special

The whole conversation Cas had with Naomi was revealing to us, because we understood there how many time the angel tried to control Castiel's rebellious and unpredictable behavior.

CASTIEL: We were supposed to be their shepherds, not their murderers.

NAOMI: Not always, angel. There was that day, back in Egypt, not so long ago, where we slew every first-born infant whose door wasn't splashed with lamb's blood. And that was just PR.

The word angel here, is used with irony, because it seems Castiel had an odd idea about what an angel should be. Against what an angel really is. Castiel talks about a divine and Righteous mission, angels should follow, is the same thing he said to Hester, because he really believes it. But Naomi knows that's an utopia. And that mission isn't in their priorities.

CASTIEL: Well, I wasn't there.

NAOMI: Oh, you were there. You just don't remember it.

NAOMI: (...)You have never done what you were told. Not completely. You don't even die right, do you? Where is the angel tablet, Castiel?

Naomi is just naming and naming what she thinks is failures of Castiel... But those are not failures... Those are characteristics that not angel has, and that's what make Castiel unique. Hated and Loved by his own kind.

Sam in front of too much Destiel drama

Okay, jumping now to episode 8x22 Clip Show, at the beginning of this episode we had a Destiel fight... It was very hard, because ... Poor Sammy was there... But ...

First of all we have to pay attention to the first scene... We had this character Tommy, from Wendigo episode in season 1, and there was this line...

GIRL: I can't believe you finally came up here with me.

TOMMY COLLINS: Why wouldn't I?

This is like the feeling inside Dean right now... He can't believe Castiel is back, but he can show him he's happy, because he's mad at the same time, and he need to show him how hurt he's, like a lesson, a hard one. Because he's so in love, he needs to overreact to it...

Dean's reaction is too way too much my friends, for just a buddy mad at his buddy, you know? Like... Dean was the jiltter lover here, I'm telling you... Look at this scene...

Ugh... Cold war my friends... Look how I'm ignoring you, because Dean is a schoolgirl in love, he will apply the cold war on Cas...

CAS: (...)I like this bunker. It's orderly.

SAM: Oh, give us a few months. Dean wants to get a ping-pong table.

CASTIEL: I've heard of that. It's a game, right?

Okay, why I'm pointing this out? Because a ping pong warnof cold words is about to start between CAS and Dean.

Ohhh this quote... The "I can go with you" a classic... But it doesn't work this time...

DEAN: Everything? Like, uh... Like ignoring us?

CASTIEL: Yes.

And here is when the US/WE gets started... Dean, heartbroken as he was, he confessed his feelings for Castiel and he was REJECTED, he saw Castiel didn't trust him, so he covered his soul again with this armor, pushing his feelings down, and there will be no more YOU AND ME, but this shield named YOU, ME, AND DAM. WE / US .

And he said it... He said what it hurted so much... But that's no everything... He said I NEED YOU, and Cas didn't respond to that, "I GAVE YOU NU HEART AND YOU JUST SMASHED IT".

That's why there's not apologize that would work with Dean right now.

Oooooohhh boom! Okay... That's one of the things, I think, Dean likes from CAS. Castiel is always trying to do the right thing. But right now... That's one of the things it took him away. So... Yeah... He's being hard with Castiel. He needs Castiel to realize how hurted he was... He needed Castiel to be worried about it. To recognize what he did to him by running away, after he confessed, and not trust him. Just the same feeling he had when he came back from Purgatory...

And the eye fucking... Okay guys...this is too much...

And pray for Sammy please. And the subtext in his words... "Do we have a room 7B?" Immediately after the old married couple fight and the eye fucking... Is reflecting his truly thoughts... "Guys... Just get a room."

Once Sam and Dean were alone, Sammy tried to be a mediator between them, but there was not resolution, Dean was very hurted, more hurted than mad, even if Sam said he should forgive him BECAUSE IS CAS.

But even so we had this scene...

Obviously we know who made that pop corn to CAS, right? It was Dean... Maybe after Sam's words... Okay... Dean can't be mad at him... For too long.

Crazy love is crazy...

But also... Castiel eating popcorn, could work as a foreshadow for Human!Cas.

Miscellaneous

The whole meaning with curing a demon, was a foreshadow for Demon!Dean and the way they will cure Dean. Even Crowley tasting the humanity, will be a Castiel mirror, and a foreshadow for Human!Castiel too.

To Conclude:

Castiel is a smart angel, he takes war decisions and is a very clever strategist.

He is different form other angel, and the things Naomi marked as failures in him, is what make Castiel unique.

Cas was away from Dean, but subtextually he named him twice while he was in his dangerous mission, what makes us infer, he was aware and thinking about Dean, and he knew his actions towards him will have some consequences.

Dean acted like a jiltter lover. He felt abbandoned and betrayed and rejected by Castiel in the crypt, after he manifested his feeling for him, so, it wouldn't be easy for him to forgive Castiel.

Even so, we saw he prepared pop corn for CAS .. like a contradictory behavior towards him, but a delicate attention to his friend. Also, Castiel eating pop corn could work as a foreshadow for Human!Castiel.

Hope you liked this, see you in the next Chronicles.

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica

If you want to be tagged, just let me know

If you want to read the previous metas, here are the links...

Vol. XXXI, Vol. XXXII, VOL. XXXIII, VOL XXXIV, VOL. XXXV, VOL. XXXVI, VOL. XXXVII

Buenos Aires, November 19th 2019 7:43 PM

[bros-before-ghosts]

I'm back!! Half the reason I got into Supernatural was all the references to Dean/Cas too and the other half was a friend telling me about it and fangirling over Destiel and I wanted to know more so I started watching spn when she was at season 4 and when I finally got to 4 I didn't really find evidence of a great love story. It was rather disappointing because I was expecting this great love story and I got two people barely being friendly half the time and the other half acting like family 1/4

I somehow found myself shipping Destiel for those moments and reading fanfics. I live in the countryside so people are conservative here too so of course the first hint of something out of the ordinary was new to me, especially the possibility of a gay relationship in such a popular series (flashbacks to that bio teacher who said being gay is a sin and a disease) so of course I wanted to know more as well. And somewhere in my mind there was Sam and Dean with their stupid connection and their 2/4

Their stupid devotion to each other and their stupid chemistry and I tried so freaking hard not to think about it too much. And I'm sorry but I find the fact that you're from Alabama funny as fuck. The universe has funny ways of working. And trust me I get it, I tried so hard to not think about Sam/Dean because of stigma and taboo and stuff. And I still kinda ship Destiel (and one of the reasons I love your blog is that you don't judge or throw shade or hate on other characters or ships) but 3/4

I realized I also kinda ship Sam/Dean. Like, they'd do anything for each other. Dean freaking sold his soul for Sam and they always find each other no matter what. Like yea, that's pretty much love - be it platonic or romantic, they freaking love each other. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I SHIP THEM OKAY?! Honestly, thank you so much. Thank you for your support, I needed to hear (read) this. Also did I mention I love your blog? Because I fucking love it! And I hope you don't mind this long af ask 4/4

Hey nonnie! Welcome back! Never apologize for asks! I know I’ve said it a billion times in my tags but I am a SLUT for asks. And thank you for reaching out again! Now I don’t feel so alone with my “started for the destiel, staying for the brother-loving” thing lol. And yeah, like you said, no hate here for ANY ships. I hope people feel free enough to ship whatever makes their heart skip and their panties melt. Because as many many people have said in more eloquent ways than I, ITS NOT REAL. do I think incest is hot diggity dog in real life? Absolutely not! I work at a job where I’ve seen literal horror stories of incest victims. But it’s kind of my weakness in ships. I can separate it out bc I know the difference in fiction and real life! I wish so many other people could learn to separate real life and fiction so that the shame around ships could please PLEASE die already. again I say: NEVER LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL SHAME OVER SHIPS! Especially a gross bio teacher that probs jerks it to more gay porn than I do (which is saying a lot)

But anywho, as much as I really really tried with dean and cas, their relationship will never be what Sam and Dean have to me. I keep them tucked into a dark corner of my heart for protection so I love it when anyone comes to talk about it. I’m so glad you feel comfortable enough with wincest to reach out and start conversations! I hope you continue to feel like this is a safe and inclusive environment! No matter what level you ship them at, if you even ship them at all, just know that this wincest shipper loves ya <3

[alleiradayne]

Part V - Surgery

Characters/Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel Novak Warnings: More fluffy awkwardness, secrets, hiding things that shouldn’t be, little angst Word Count: 1969

“I’m embarrassed.”

Castiel’s eyes snapped to his as Dean shoved another bite of his burger into his mouth and said, “Vis ef fo gud.”

“I take it you like it?”

Liked it? He wanted to make love to that damn slab of meat. Castiel had hand-made and grilled burgers for them, their second—technically, third—date starting off with a dinner that put his cooking to shame. Rather than put words to those thoughts, Dean simply moaned into his food again.

“Sounds like it,” Castiel said with a laugh. “Anything in particular you wanted to do this evening? Only idea I had was to watch a movie.”

Dean nodded, thinking of several in the moment. He swallowed his food and said, “I have a few in mind.”

“Perfect,” Castiel replied with a small smile, one that Dean has seen before. He wondered how often Castiel smiled like that at other people.

“You’re staring,” he said. “Is there something on my face?”

Dean shook his head as he averted his eyes, returned to his plate. “Uh, no. Just… spacing out. Long day.”

“That might have been my fault,” Castiel replied with a grimace. “Sent you a few new patients today.”

“Keeps me employed,” Dean said after another bite of his burger. “I’m not complaining.”

“Good, because I’ll have more for you next week, too,” he said. “My surgery schedule for the next month is quite full.”

“Oh great,” Dean drawled with a roll of his eyes. “Okay, no more work talk. Plans this weekend?”

Dean swore Castiel hesitated, a brief consideration of his words. But then he spoke, confident and steady once more. “I’m in the middle of remodeling the master bath upstairs. Probably work on that most of the weekend.”

“Oh? Need a hand? You know I’m good with mine,” Dean jested, but when Castiel’s brow shot to his hairline, Dean balked. “I mean, with construction. You know. My backyard. I’m…”

“Sure,” Castiel interrupted with a coy smile. “I could use the help. I’ll show you around the house after dinner. Then we can hit up that movie.”

“Sounds good,” Dean agreed.

Dinner continued, talk of plans for the spring and summer extending the meal well after their plates were clean. They concluded with a pecan pie that Castiel had made, much to Dean’s delight. He ate half of it before he stopped himself and apologized for being a glutton. Castiel shrugged with his small smile again, then motioned he follow him into the kitchen.

“Ready for the grand tour?” Castiel asked as he put their plates in the sink.

“Now I’m really embarrassed,” Dean replied, “Your cooking is far superior and you’re a better host. I didn’t even think to show you around my place.”

The warmth of Castiel’s hand enveloped his, and Dean fell silent. A long moment passed before Castiel spoke. “It’s fine, Dean. I didn’t take any offense. Let’s go. I’ll show you the disaster that is this bathroom.”

“Lead the way,” Dean said, and Castiel set out.

The living room gave way to the first level bedroom hallway. A closed door was passed by, Castiel declaring it a complete mess, filled with his junk, and that one day he should sort through it all. Dean found that strange. Most people put their useless junk in a garage or attic or basement. But spare bedroom?

“Silly,” Castiel finished. “I… don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I’m an organized person. Most of the time. Some parts of my life are a little messy yet.”

“I get it,” Dean said as Castiel turned back for the stairs. “We all have messy parts to our lives.” The words were out of his mouth before Dean understood what he meant. He thought of John and Sandra—not that they were the messy parts of his life, quite the opposite—but they were a part he wanted to protect. And when Castiel stared ahead at nothing as he paused at the base of the stairs, Dean wondered. How messy, exactly, was Castiel’s life? Another long moment lingered until Castiel’s thoughts seemed to clear and he spoke. “Ready to see this bathroom?”

“You’re building this up to be quite the reveal,” Dean said as Castiel started up the steps. He followed, asking, “Why are you remodeling it?”

“Mold, mostly,” Castiel stated. “House is over a hundred years old and nobody knew the last time the bathroom had been rehabilitated.” At the top of the stairs he turned into the only room across from a lofted space. “I was only going to replace the shower stall until I found the mold.”

Dean hesitated at the door, stuck at the threshold. “Is this…”

Castiel turned back to him and, with an incredulous quirk to his brow, shook his head. “What’s wrong?”

He crossed the threshold, a tentative step that revealed the entire room. “Your room?” he asked eyeing the bed. “Your…”

“My bed, yes,” Castiel replied. “Are you… Dean, are you nervous about being in my room?”

As ridiculous as it sounded coming from him, yes, Dean’s nerves had unraveled in a matter of seconds. He had imagined being in Castiel’s room under different circumstances. What those circumstances were, he had no clue. After a failure of willpower, succumbing to his base desires? When he came clean about his past, his children? When he figured out whatever it was Castiel hid from him?

“Dean?”

Castiel stood before him, so close, Dean smelled the carpenter’s saw dust and medical soap emanating from him. Warm, too, Castiel radiated a heat that enveloped him. The dizzying combination left Dean speechless, and so, instead, he reached out for Castiel’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

Dean nodded with a deep breath. “Show me the bathroom?”

Castiel took his hand and crossed the room with him in tow. “Voila.”

Bare bones, the entire bathroom had been stripped to its framing. Subflooring and beams were all that made up the entire space but for a huge window in the far wall over the tub.

“It is a mess,” Dean stated.

“It’s… a work in progress,” Castiel retorted. “I’m working on the shower first. Once that’s in, the tub and toilet are next. Then the cabinets and counters. Then the floor last. Heated, too.”

“Oh, fancy,” Dean commented. “What’s the water pressure like?”

Castiel sighed. “It was abysmal. House had old lead pipes that I had replaced. Now it’s fantastic,” Castiel motioned to the space where the shower would be, plumbing roughed in. “I’d show you but…”

Dean laughed a nervous chuckle at that. “You want to show me the water pressure in your shower?”

Pink slashed across Castiel’s nose as he stuttered a response. “I mean… sure. Some day. When it’s done.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he averted his gaze, seeming to search the ceiling for something better to say.

Dammit. He’d intended for a casual dinner, nothing more than time to get to know each other. He’d made that much clear last week. But Castiel’s unintentional flirting had bolstered Dean’s confidence, and so, he took a chance. A smooth slip of his hand into Castiel’s drew his attention from the bathroom. With his focus, Dean lead him back into the bedroom until he felt the bed at the back of his thighs. Castiel followed without much convincing, his devious smile matching Dean's. When he licked his lips, Dean indulged, every concern forgotten.

Their lips met in a rush, eager and insistent. Castiel responded to Dean’s every move, each touch mimicked, each swipe of his tongue matched, and each roll of his hips mirrored. With one hand at the small of his back and the other in his hair, Dean enveloped Castiel in an embrace so close, the world faded away, consisting only of them. Oh, how glorious a world it was; strong arms that reached for more, breathless gasps filled with lust, and subtle moans that encouraged his desires.

But that world shattered the second Dean tried to lean back for the bed. Castiel parted from him in a sudden burst of babble about second-thoughts, hands running through his hair. Dean slumped to a seat on the bed, unbalanced by Castiel’s rapid change of mind.

“Cas,” Dean started, but he continued to ramble incoherent half-sentences, “Cas!”

Castiel wheeled about, eyes wide and mouth gaping as though shocked to find Dean still there. A long second dragged before he shook his head, then spoke. “Sorry. I…” he paused, hands raised in confusion. “I freaked out. I thought I crossed a line last week. And now we’re here, doing this awkward dance again.”

“Cas, it’s fine,” Dean excused. “I get it. I… I’m not sure what I want. I drew a line and I crossed it. It’s confusing and it’s not fair to you, especially when you are so sure of yourself—”

“No, Dean, I’m not,” Castiel stated. “I’m really not. And not because of you.” He paused again, then eyed the spot on the bed beside Dean.

Before he had a chance to say anything else, Castiel crossed the space between them and sat beside Dean. He gathered what willpower remained as the warmth of Castiel’s hand enveloped his and a muscled thigh sat flush to his own. He remained silent in the wake of that sudden connection. Son of a bitch, he hoped he hadn't ruined the entire evening.

“I like you, Dean,” Castiel started. “A lot. Hell, more than most people I've met lately. It's been a lonely couple of years.”

“I'm… sorry to hear that,” Dean said. “Good looking guy like you with a giant brain and a big heart must be intimidating to most folks.”

That grabbed his attention. “I can't figure out why you’re single. Compliments like that are few and far between, and you give them so freely,” he paused, reconsidering Dean's words. “It was a compliment, right?”

“Yes,” Dean said as he squeezed his hand. “A much deserved compliment.”

“Okay you can stop—”

“Because you're an amazing cook, too.”

“Sure, but—”

“And an excellent host.”

“Well—”

“With great taste in Scotch, I peeked at your liquor cabinet.”

“How dare—”

“And incredibly smooth hands for a guy that does his own carpentry.”

“Alright, I get it!” Castiel shouted. “You’re still not getting in my pants tonight.”

Dean's jaw dropped as he feigned offense. “And here I was just trying to give you more compliments because you said you get so few.”

The pink hue of embarrassment colored Castiel's nose once more, then spread to his cheeks as he averted his eyes. Dean tried and failed to contain his laughter, but when Castiel shook with his own silent laughter, he leaned back into his full belly laugh.

“Alright,” Castiel said through his smile. “Let's keep the make out sessions to a minimum. For now.”

Dean nodded. “I’d like that. Bare minimum.”

Castiel smiled once more, but it lasted a mere second and never touched his eyes. That look, so full of regret, broke Dean’s heart. Without another thought, he pulled Castiel into him and placed a gentle, unassuming kiss on his lips.

Tension drained from his shoulders as Dean held him close and Castiel melted into him. Fuck, he felt good. No, better than good. Castiel, so pliant in his embrace, enthralled Dean. He pushed no further, hand yet entwined with his, and he enjoyed the kiss for what it was. A simple—long—kiss.

They parted together, timed as if Castiel could read his mind. When Castiel laughed through his nose, Dean shoved him away.

“Alright, enough of this chick flick shit, let’s go watch Expendables.”

Castiel’s cackling laughter followed him from the bedroom, and at that moment, Dean vowed to make him laugh like that every day for the rest of his life.

[inacatastrophicmind]

I have been in the fandom for less than a year so I'm relatively new and I don't know of any of the problematic things any spn actor has done. I was wondering whether you could tell me some problematic things Jensen and Misha have done? I'm a big fan of them and I'm sure I'll still like them afterward but I would like to be more aware of any mistakes they have done in the past. It's fine if you don't answer my ask though! I love your blog! Thanks for everything!

First of all, sorry for the waiting, I was on my phone and then I went to bed. Damn time zones. Anyway, thank you for your patience and for complimenting my blog :) The answer is under the cut

There are some actor that have done some really awful stuff, like the actor who played Cole. Just google it and you will find some disturbing stuff. Also, Ty has done some pretty bad stuff during cons, and Mark P is not a nice guy, just check his twitter.

But given that your question was about Jensen and Misha, that’s what I’m going to focus about.

The main problematic thing about Jensen is how he has reacted every time anything Destiel related has been asked. I understand that whenever people ask something sexually related to two characters, that can be really uncomfortable to someone, but the questions I’m talking about didn’t have anything sexual involded; they were about the probability of Dean and Cas having a romantic relationship.

In one JIBcon, a fan asked about Dean and Cas’ relationship in a romantic way, and Jensen gave a rude answer, implying that the fan was delusional. However, at the next year’s JIBcon, he apologized. I don’t remember the words he used, but it was among the lines of “Sorry I was rude. It’s okay if you see it that way even if I don’t.”

Other times, it isn’t only about Destiel. Sometimes Jensen doesn’t word thing in the best way, and sometimes his answers hurt. Thankfully, he is slowly getting better at that. But also, given that things backfire, he tends to keep silent about some important issues, and some fans think he’s a hypocrite for that. Here you can find I answer I gave about this.

He has also joined some of Jared’s jokes, but not all of them.

About Misha, I think the most problematic thing that comes to my mind might be some jokes he made on Twitter, but I can’t remember any of them. He usually knows where the line is between a joke that satirizes and saying something mean, and for the past 4 years I haven’t seen him making a problematic joke, but when I first joined the fandom 6 years ago, I saw people talking about something he said on Twitter.

But probably, the thing that bothers me, is that Misha is so keen on trying to involve William Shatner on stuff, like GISH (or Gishwhes as it was previously known). William Shatner played Captain Kirk on Star Trek, and he is one of the worst people out there, just check his Twitter. The whole Star Trek cast despised him, and Shatner really got extremely mad a Leonard Nimoy because his character Spock was more liked than Kirk. With the years, Shatner’s behavior hasn’t improved, and he even insults Misha on Twitter. Yet, somehow, Misha still wants him to do stuff :/

[elizabethrobertajones]

So I saw that gifset of Kripke's commentary on that season 3 episode (I'm a newbie watcher but I started the new season and and slowly working my way through!) and I guess I'm a little confused? Kripke is basically saying "yeah Dean really wants that apple pie life" and when I've been going through and reading people's meta, I've seen a lot of people's opinion (especially season 6 metas) that kind of disagree and that Dean really doesn't want that suburban life. Any opinions? Thanks much :-)

Heya!

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/162713109665/sensitivehandsomeactionman-eric-kripke-on

Oh! Yeah, I reblogged this with the sense of irony about what Kripke was saying in place that you get from being a long-time watcher or deeply embedded in the meta community :P (I should have a /irony tag I use for the benefit of people knowing I’m thinking deep dark shade at whatever I’m reblogging but you know not in a mean way just in a this goes way deeper than what it looks like to me but maybe I just don’t feel like commenting right now :P)

I can’t remember if I have a Dean x Lisa tag that’s actually well-kept except for cute gifsets but 3x02 and 3x10 probably have a fair amount of discussion about it if you want to dig deeper… But I have literally just watched Dean’s conversation with Rufus in 3x15 which reminds me that this was a season-long arc, and 3x10 was a weird little part of it… 3x02 sets up that Dean has a sort of wistfulness for what he COULD have had, and 3x10 and 3x12 (and all these are Gamble-related episodes) have stuff about Dean yearning - this bit and the conversation with Victor where he makes it blatantly obvious that even with Sam he has a sense that he might want more from life and he is not currently getting it - Victor’s comparison of ex-wives and empty apartments is paralleled to Dean’s feelings. And in 3x15 Rufus warns him that this is what he has to look forward to becoming if he survives. (In 12x14 we had a parallel where Ketch buys his way in the door the same way Dean buys his way in the door with Rufus & scotch, but it was subverted in so many ways, it just seemed like the BMoL had sketchy intel you might be able to buy Dean this way.)

Anyway, by the end of the season the message is quite clear that Dean sort of years for it but can’t have it and in many ways has chosen this life of saving people over it. Though he’s dying for Sam, and never un-wishes that or can even think of it, from about the midpoint of the season he wants to find a way to break the deal but I think a lot of that is driven by not wanting to be a demon rather than wanting to grow old, since becoming a demon will pretty quickly undo all the good work Dean did saving people, he’d have to assume. 3x09 gives him any motivation to fight rather than cheerfully stroll off to Hell because Sam’s alive and that’s all that matters, you know?

I think in the context of season 3 the Lisa stuff was pretty interesting because I think Dean can have a contradictory yearning but Lisa is a ghost of an idea, literally where she fizzles out of the dream in the same way ghosts disappear, and to feel wedded to the hunter lifestyle and in many ways he’s been rejecting it from the start… In 1x08 (Bugs) especially he’s making a point about beeing skeeved out by suburbia and the idea of living SUCH a normal life. In 2x20 we see him as a civilian and he enjoys it for a day or two to hang out with Mary and Sam and Jess, and I’ve written a LOT on the over-lap of Carmen in that episode and Lisa in 6x01 since they’re connected by djinn dreams and I feel like the message is his year with Lisa was emotionally/functionally practically the same to Dean as if he’d been strung up in a warehouse the whole time. (That’s something in my 6x01 tag or 2x20 depending which you feel like scrolling through :P Sorry, I’m kind of in advanced brain bleeh from sitting in a noisy room so you can get surface brain rambling to answer this but no research or links in this state >.>) 

Anyway in 2x20 he unequivocally rejects the civilian life because people died without him doing his job, even though he called Carmen “the One” and everything else seemed fixable or exciting to him, including his relationship with Sam. It was after discovering he’d “un-wished” all their work as hunters he angrily appealed to John about why it was his job, before stomping off to find and kill the djinn, and un-make his wish, assuming at this point it was a wish and not a dream. (I still call it a wish-verse sometimes because of how DEAN analysed it and I find it FASCINATING to look at that way when it comes to these decisions, while I’d just call it the djinn dream when looking at it from another angle). 

I suppose Lisa comes not long after but he goes to see her as part of a farewell tour revisiting the best hookup of his life, and ends up smacked with the potential he’s mission out on of raising a kid and all that - a long-term investment he can’t get involved in for one year (do you feel the knife turning :P) because that’s not fair on them and offers them no long-term stability. He CAN’T make a home when he has a 1 year demon deal weighing on him, so the episode is just there to psychologically torture him. I think he never dreamed of suburbia before Lisa in 3x02 but by 3x10 we can see he took some unexpected emotionally scarring just from being told he CAN’T have something. Because posing the question opens up “what if”s (this incidentally is my entire rationale when you boil it down for why the male siren proves Dean’s bi :P). Dean had a moment to seriously imagine a NICE life where he would be with Lisa and have Ben as a son and it’s impossible for he can even start to have it. And in 3x15 Rufus confirms that even if Dean survives (or comes back from Hell as it turns out), being a crotchety old hunter who only opens his door to people if they show up with nice Scotch is about as much as he can hope to look forward to.

I think that’s a bad message too but it gels more with Dean’s outlook and experiences and I think helps him shut away the feelings he could ever have had more or that he was being unfairly denied, in a combination of personal choices to hunt/seeing the benefits of doing it over a normal life, and pessimism about his lifespan or what they can reasonably expect from their lives. In 5x18 he tells Lisa that when he thinks of himself being happy it’s with her, because of the scarring I mentioned that 3x02 specifically denies him this endgame and leaves an impression of it in his psyche as the Thing Dean Can’t Have, but DOES turn into a nice thought to hold onto as a what if. And Sam tells him to go for it and he does, and by the end of season 6 it’s a “never mention this again or I’ll kill you” situation and Dean doesn’t think about endgame out loud for like 5 more years until season 10, and the question is slooowly reintroduced through hesitant confessions and car conversations and meeting a pair of married hunters at a bar one day, to finally get the idea that while Dean’s unequivocally written off suburbia, wife & kids, there’s other things he could get out of life to make him happy and feel less like Victor or Rufus, dark mirrors of his present and future, like the ghosts of endgame visiting a long-term-relationship Scrooge :P 

But yeah Kripke saying that Dean secretly has a romantic soft spot for the normal life and fluffy romance, personified in this case by Lisa, is really because he’s talking compare and contrast to Sam. He says Sam isn’t interested in Bela that way really, he’s just horny and they know no women really so… that happened. (I side-eye but whatever, different discussion :P) and that’s in contrast to Sam’s supposed sweet and nerdy surface layer, while Dean’s got the macho horndog outer layer so Kripke’s explaining in 1 go performing!Dean (and Sam) and that Sam n Dean are yin and yang to each other (which, again, in Baby, we have that great shot of them in red and blue contrasting colours, sleeping top & tail in the Impala from above that demonstrates this… Can’t tell if you’ve seen season 11 actually or joined in season 12 (oops apologies for those spoilers too, I tried to keep them super vague and if you’ve seen season 12 you sort of know where it led to >.>) but this is what it looked like:

from a meta POV it’s absolutely one of my favourite shots of Sam and Dean in the entire show. Anyway it’s visually demonstrating the same thing Kripke is saying in that commentary. Sam presents one way so they write Dean presenting in the absolute opposite way, and then choose to subvert both presented faces with an image each to absolutely destroy that image and show something deep underneath. From the way he was talking it sounded like they thought the Bela thing first so the Lisa thing might literally just have been a part of it because it was amusing to them to do that with Sam, and the rule is absolutely probably 1st thing in their character bible to always make Sam and Dean at odds with each other even if it’s in some innocent visual/character demonstration.

(This is why I hate Buckleming writing btw - they’ve been increasingly writing Sam and Dean as an utterly unified unit who think and breathe on the same wavelength and it drives me nuts because that is not their dynamic at all no matter how fan favourite “winsync” is (which is of course a totally different thing to do with them working well together meta-textually as actors and in the text as kids raised closely together, and who also have worked together for most of/their entire adult lives so of course they naturally move and talk together sometimes - I can be in sync with my twin and we have core personality overlap but we’re also utterly different people in extremely obvious ways e.g. quiet vs chatty - guess which :P)… In Buckleming’s hands it just means they can use Sam and Dean to alternately deliver exposition in lengthy talking scenes as if they’re one character, and that exposition to Mick in 12x17 when he “Hello boys” them in the Bunker was one of their worst incidents so far >.>)

Anyway, I don’t think that makes the Lisa thing insincere especially as it sounds like 3x10 more than 3x02 actually cemented her as Dean’s imaginary choice of perfect dream girl to fill the space Carmen the El Sol ad lady previously held, when it came to the writing. 3x02 stand alone is good to torment Dean as a “Hahahaha you will never have this” but 3x10 builds on it and shows them being intuitive to the character and things that make sense to write him… And I think from the very start they were aware of the contradiction and that Dean might sort of have a soft spot/dream of the normal apple pie life but that he was also at the same time profoundly aware of all the ways in which he hadn’t chosen it, it wasn’t his life, and there were abundant reasons he wasn’t having it and even in the same core places this dream resides, didn’t want it. If you go deep in my 3x02/2x20/6x01 Lisa x Dean metas (again, sorry, I’ll add tags to this post at least :P) you’ll probably find the post I made collecting my rewatch notes as I discovered this subtextual story through the season, realised where it all came from later, and by the end of the season realised that they knew and had talked themselves out of it being something Dean could have because the subtext took the same route as the actual Dean and Lisa arc in season 6, probably because Gamble helped craft the entire thing in season 3 and then brought Lisa back for season 6 and had a whole season to play the entire thing over again. So I feel like that suggests Dean talked himself out of it too with Rufus and Victor’s help, and fundamentally never changed track even with season 5 & 6′s Lisa stuff, because that closed the book on it so hard we have this parallel to Dean and Rufus in 12x14 and the idea he can have something more with a hunter maybe or ~someone in the life~ is now the subtext under that in the same way Kripke talked about him having this squishy interior to do with Lisa back in season 3.

[mittensmorgul]

I'm the anon who brought up that quote from SotF. Boy howdy, epic reply! You gave us lots to think about so I'm writing back to clarify my question. I totally agree with you that Dean is not a mean person and I totally agree that both Cas and Dean have had passive/aggressive moments in their relationship, speaking of. :) My issue with having Dean shout at Cas in a room full of people that nobody cares about you and your pain is mean and out of character to me. 1/2

2/2 If motivation was the objective, then I also agree his approach with Kevin is more in character, “I know you’re hurting right now and we can work on it later, but right now we need you to step up and help in the fight.” Said in his still gruff manner, not mollycoddling, but the emotional support is there. That’s why the line to Cas bothers me. It seemed too harsh even out of the anger and frustration Dean felt because he thought Cas was running away from responsibility. Actually, 2/3 now.

3/3 Being a bit facetious about “words hurt” line, I was connecting it to the point they both have done and said things to each other that were hurtful and just ended up complicating their relationship. So those kinds of extreme words made me think that feeds into Cas’ insecurities. As desperate as Dean may be, it doesn’t feel like he would be pushed that far to say those words. Guess for both of them, you always hurt the ones you love. Hope you don’t mind my long reply, you’re awesome! Thanks!

Oh gosh, hi. :P

First off, apologies for going on and on and on… this has happened to me several times over the last few days of rewatches, where I took a short anon ask and just… got sucked into writing long meta while three or four episodes ran in the background… Sorry. Sometimes I have trouble pulling a single thought out of the context of the larger narrative it sits in. For reference, this is the very long reply:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/163454512675/survival-of-the-fittest-rewatch-airs-today-i-have

I think part of the reason WHY Dean “toned it down” a bit with Kevin is BECAUSE he felt bad about having been so short with Cas in essentially the same situation, you know? And with Kevin there in 8.01? It was IMMEDIATELY after he got back from a YEAR in Purgatory, an entire year spent struggling not only to get OUT of purgatory, but to get out WITH CAS.

And he’d failed.

This was also before Dean “altered the memory” of those final moments at the portal. He was honest with Sam there, or at least far more honest than he was with himself and Cas in 8.07, before he’d been forced to live with that reality for a while and just… could’t accept it anymore, you know?

So yeah, I do think that’s part of the reason he didn’t just bark angrily at Kevin the way he did at Cas. But he also didn’t have the 10 tons of emotional baggage going in to that conversation with Kevin that Dean had with Cas by 7.23.

Kevin hadn’t hurt HIM, PERSONALLY. Kevin wasn’t avoiding acknowledging some sort of personal failure that was directly harming Dean, the way Cas was in 7.23. Dean had been willing to try and let all of that go, at least while they were still scrambling to put an end to the Leviathan, but when they discovered that they absolutely NEEDED Cas to succeed in that mission, and Cas was refusing to participate, refusing to even acknowledge that he should have any personal responsibility in fixing the situation at all… well… That was something Dean couldn’t accept.

And sorry, but crazy!Cas isn’t “cute.” He’s not a precious lil bean that needs protecting. He was using that to avoid having to face the enormity of what his actions in s6 led to. I wrote another really super long post two days later on (among other things) how this came to a head for Cas in 8.08 and his outburst at Dean’s gentle prodding about why he didn’t want to return to Heaven.

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/163529983575/so-many-nice-destiel-moments-in-87-but-i-have-a

Like, the “crazy” in s7 was EXTREME DENIAL. I mean, he’d literally suffered amnesia for months, forgetting he was even an angel at all and everything else… (including Dean). There’s no better metaphor for extreme denial. It’s like the tropiest version of “new phone who dis” that can possibly exist. And it takes him a LONG time to come back from that.

Late s7 “crazy!Cas” (and I have to say again how much I detest that being applied to this version of Cas, because again he is NOT crazy, he is in uberdenial and avoiding anything that might make him feel guilty/responsible for the horrific things he did, however inadvertently, in the name of trying to save the universe)….

Lemme start that previous thought again, since I got completely derailed by my own parenthetical.

Late s7 Cas was the first step back after his “penance” and subsequent recovery began. It’s Cas who is so ashamed of what he’d done that he couldn’t even face it AT ALL, until Dean started to pry his way back under all that denial. Dean acknowledged Cas’s feelings about being “poison” (to use Dean’s pet word for himself), and finally Cas felt like there might be a real way for him “to fix it.” Or at least start…

(He’d already “fixed” Sam at that point, which was something, but by no means the entirety of what he felt needed fixing… and remember that taking Sam’s Hell Trauma into himself is what drove Cas into that “crazy” state in the first place… the sort of trauma that had nearly killed Sam, and that he’d only spent all of s7 coping with by an extreme act of denial– pressing the scar on his hand and utterly rejecting the hallucinations his own damaged soul was inflicting on him…)

So, yeah, I have some pretty complicated thoughts and feelings about this, but I also feel like nothing else in Cas’s subsequent development arc makes any sense at all unless his absolute guilt and denial and yes, even his outburst in 8.08 about not wanting to return to heaven to face what he’d done driving him to thoughts of killing himself, are acknowledged for what they are.

It’s awful, it’s painful, it’s terrible all around. But I’m not in denial about it. It feels like doing a serious disservice to Cas and his later understanding and self-forgiveness and acceptance, and it’s really the foundation of EVERYTHING solid in his relationship with Dean (and Sam) over the next five seasons. It all had to come from this moment of hurt and guilt and anger and FORGIVING each other.