#like ig we werent even really friends in the first place

[aries-online]

Losing Score

(platonic)TWST housewardens x Reader

Authors note: ig this is angst to comfort, maybe. Enjoy or perish <3 /j. Working on requests after i post this, will be posting my oc masterlist thingy soon as well :)

also, this a little over 2500 words, sorry if there is any typos. :)

My video recommendation of the day is this , it's two hours of nothing but chill shrimp. Idk why I thought of floyd, but i did. This has absolutely nothing to do with the fic btw, just thought I should share.

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Synopsis: Reader learns how to magic, Reader then fucking overblots

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“I lost, Didn’t i?”

For the longest time, you thought of NRC as a home away from home. Being brought to a new world was taxing on you mentally and physically. Thankfully, you were not alone in this new world. You made a new friend, A boy named Yuu. like Yourself, he had no magic and nowhere else to go. Yet, as things went on, you two began to drift apart after the second overblot. Yuu had made new friends he could hang out with, yet he chose to bring you along. No matter how uncomfortable he and his friends were. When you noticed his waning friendship, you began to study more. Your private studies led you to learning a few basic magic spells. You were estatic to say the least, but you knew to keep this under wraps. No one could find out about this. As more overblots came and went, what began as a basic protection spell grew into more powerful magic, more untamed magic. You had drifted so far away to your first, and what you considered your only true friend in this place. You were much more of a loner, the once cheery air that surrounded you before replaced with one that was dark and heavy. You hadn’t spoken a word to anyone besides yourself in over a month at this point, and to say the least, people were concerned about you.

“Hey, [NAME]” Yuu called out, carefully making his way across the dorm to where you resided. You hadn’t bothered to fix up your hallway at all, saying you preferred the eerie atmosphere. Yuu spared a glance to the small crowd behind him. HImself and the other dorm leaders had decided to hold a little “intervention” of sorts, all were concerned about your drastic change in behavior. “[NAME]” he called out again, a little louder, hesitating infront of your door. With a sharp inhale, he grabbed hold of the doorknib and opened the door. You were nowhere to be found. “They aren’t in here” Yuu stated, dumbfounded. He hadn’t seen you leave the dorm at all in the day. He slowly examined your room, noting how dark it seemed, even with the light on. “What do you mean, They aren’t there” Riddle called from down the hall. “They aren’t here, like at all.” Yuu called back, sparing another glance over your room before leaving. “All their stuff is still there, but they aren't,” Yuu explained. ‘Well do you know of anywhere else they could be?” Riddle questioned, the other dorm leaders nodded to Riddle's question. It was quiet for a few minutes, while they pondered where you could be. ‘They like to go on late night walks” Yuu pondered outloud “maybe their somewhere along their usual path?” he suggested. “That is a good idea, Yuu,” Azul replied, earning a nod from Riddle. “Indeed” riddle replied “well, we know where to start”.

The group of eight had been walking down the forest path for about ten minutes. Your voice had picked up, but it was so faint that if you werent listening for it, you wouldn’t hear it. “I can hear [NAME]” malleus said, speaking up for the first time since they began looking for you. “It's quite faint, but i can hear them”. “Your hearing must be really good, Malleus” KAlim complemented, earning a small smile from Malleus. “Thank you, kalim” he replied, before turning his gaze back down the path “we are headed in the right way”.

“Maybe I should just blow this popsicle stand,” you laughed. The bird sitting on your shoulder seemed to laugh with you. “How long do you thinkit would take them to find out i was gone, i don’t attend school regularly enough for it to be noticed quickly” yo commented, twirling a tree branch you found here when you learned your first spell. The bird chirped at you, beginning to fly off your shoulder “yeah, i guess you're right there ” you replied, sighing “i guess Yuu and grim would notice pretty quick, He’d probably notice that whatever he leaves for me to eat wasn’t touched”. You fiddled with the branch more, tossing it and catching it “i do wanna go somewhere else though” you commented, looking at the bird who now perched on a tree branch a few feet from you “i don’t feel like this place needs me anymore, yknow?”. The bird gave you another chirp, you let out a heavy sigh “i know i don’t have a place to stay, but i could build something, yknow”

The group approached where you were, your voice growing from an inaudible mess of words to more coherent words. “I'm just surprised nobody noticed the magic i have sooner” you commented, throwing the group off. “You’d have thought that the people with the magic would notice something off about me, but I guess not.”. Yuu froze “how could they have learned magic” he muttered “Crowley had told me it wouldn’t be feasible with how far along we were in life”. “I think we all thought the same thing” Maleus commented “it should be a near impossible task, even if they managed to it wouldnt be anything too powerful” he replied. Meanwhile, your little bird friend had alerted you to the oncoming group, “Thanks Aj '' you muttered, petting the bird on the head before turning to grab your messenger bag. “I guess it's now or never” you sighed. “ i know you're there” you shouted, catching the group off guard  “i have ears, yknow”. The group had made their way from the forest's edge, and into the clearing where you stood. An angry look crossed your face “what do you lot want” you shoute, your voice ringing across the clearing. “[NAME], we're worried about you” Yuu began, before he could open his mouth again, you let out a cackle. “Why do you care now?” you asked, covering your mouth as you laughed “do you suddenly feel regret for freezing me out, Yuu?”. Vil casted a glance over at Yuu “what do they mean, Yuu?” he asked, concerned with what you just said. “Go on Yuu, tell them what you did” You mocked, holding you hands to your chest “tell them what you did Yuu” your voice grew darker as you continued to stare. You felt something like water drip down your face, the concerned stares from the dormleaders turning into those of fear. “C’mon Yuu, tell them” you said, your voice quiet and gravely. “TELL THEM WHAT YOU DID” you shouted, your voice shaking the area around you. The dripping water grew more frantic, before your vision was clouded over. It felt like forever trapped inside the inky prison that was your feelings. Consiously aware of the frantic shouting coming from those around you. When it was finally seemingly over you felt you body sink to its knees. “I lost” you whispered, sobs escaping your lips “Didn’t i?”. This time, when you retreated back into your mind, the memory of what started you down this slippery slope replayed back to you like a movie.

“Hey! Yuu!” you called out, laughter escaping your lips as you ran up to where he stood talking to Ace and Deuce. “You’ll never guess what happened!” You laughed, holding a poster in your hands. “Hey, [Na]-” Ace began, before being interrupted by Yuu “Not now, [NAME]” he sighed, textbook under his arm “Can you just tell me later?I’m really not in the mood” he snapped, causing Ace and Deuce to give him a weird look. Your excitement quickly died down “oh-, Uh- sure” you repiled, a lump forming in your throat. “I’ll talk to you later, i guess” you replied quietly, turning on your heel. You hoped they couldn’t see your tears as you made your way as far away as possible. 

Despite slipping the poster under his Door, as an invite to the performance you were invited to do at Monstro Lounge, you couldn’t see Yuu anywhere. You shook it off, letting yourself be guided by Jade towards the small stage. “Your up, [NAME]” he said, patting you on the shoulder, “your going to do wonderful”. You let a smile creep up onto your face “thanks for the encouragement Jade” you replied, shooting him a grin before making your way to start your performance. When you finally finished your performance and made your way off stage, you still saw no hint of Yuu. with a sigh, your shoulders dropped. He didn’t show up. He didn’t even bother to say he wouldnt come. You felt anger build up inside of you, Why was your best friend avoiding you?

The next night, you locked yourself into your bedoom, a book you freshly checked out from the library in your hand. A soft know could be heard on your door “Suppers done” Yuu Said, his tone bored and apathetic. You didn’t bother to answer. Why should you anyways? you gently shook your head and continued to read. You wanted to learn as much as possible about this worlds magic, if you could even gain magic. Turns out, you could, but it would take alot of time and energy to learn just a few basic spells. You were determined though, you wanted so badly for your best friend to notice you again. 

You took to teaching yourself spells in a secluded part of the forest surrounding Ramshackle. At first, it was going nowhere, but eventually you got the hang of a rather basic spell. You let out a loud cheer when you finally managed to build up enough energy to shoot a beam of light at your makeshift target. Although, after that you felt rather lightheaded. But the light headed feeling didn’t even begin to quell your excitement. “I did it” you laughed “I actually did it!”. Your excitement was shortlived though, you had realized that if Yuu found out, Crowley would find out and you didn’t need either of them harassing you on how you did it. It was difficult keeping it a secret, but you knew it was for the better of yourself. One night, while you were out at your clearing, you broke down into tears, the stress of everything that happened in the past few months finally catching up to you. “I just wanna go home” you whispered, tears streaming down your face “Why couldn’t i adjust like Yuu did. Why does he get to have friends and i dont”. A small sparrow fluttered down from a nearby tree, landing on the tree stump you used as a stool. It pecked at your face. “Sorry” you muttered, trying to shoo the bird away. It chirped at you and gave you a small headbutt, trying its best to comfort you. “thanks, little guy” you muttered, your hand absentmindly petting the birds head “thanks”

The next memory to come to you was a week ago, you had learned to use your newfound magic to float small things, despite the exciting development, you couldnt help but feel a lingering anger. Your newfound Bird friend was one of the only things you felt you could vent to. You had slowly been frozen out by the people you called friends, the only  person really wanting to talk to you was kalim. “Screw them” you grumbled, ploping yourself down on the stump. “Screw all of them, ‘specially Yuu ''. your bird companion chirped at you, hopping onto your lap. “Yeah, I get what you're saying. But none of them deserve to speak to me anymore”. You sighed, gazing up at the pinkish sky above. “It's getting late” you muttered, nudging the bird onto your finger so you could stand. “I guess I have to go back to my dorm room, so that no one finds out”. the bird cocked its head to the side, chirping at you once more. “Yeah, i’ll tell them eventually, but not anytime soon.” you replied, turning your head towards the path. “One day, but not today”

There you sat, in your own head, watching your memories like a movie. “ “m sorry” you muttered, wiping tears from the corners of your eyes “ ‘m sorry for being such an ass”. You felt a hand on your shoulder “i'm the one who should be saying sorry” you felt Yuu crouch next to you, gently embracing you in a side hug. “This is sorta all my fault” he said, gently petting your hair “if i maybe just communicated how i felt a little more, maybe it wouldn’t have ended up like this”. You two sat there quietly for a short while, just enjoying eachothers presence. “Next time you do any big performances, i promise i’ll be there”

When you woke up, the group around you all let out a collective sigh of relief. “[NAME]'' one of the blurry figures exclaimed, although you could barely see who it was, you could recognize the voice as kalim. “Thank the seven you're okay, we were so worried about you”. You rubbed your eyes, clearing up the blurriness, but when you owned your voice to speak, no noise came out. You gave Kalim a small smile, clearing your throat . “ ‘m sorry” you whispered, your voice hoarse. You felt a hand gently rubbing your shoulder “what matters is your better” Yuu replied, giving you a half smile. You gave him a sort-of smile back. “Im happy you two are on good terms again” Malleus commented, eliciting nods from the other dormleaders. “I agree, its nice to see you being friends again” riddle replied.  Your heartfelt moment was soon interrupted by someone clearing their throat. “If you all don’t mind, may i speak to [NAME]?” Crowley asked. You felt fear grip you, clenching your hands on the bedsheet, gaze fixed to your lap. “Is it alright if i stay?” Yuu asked, glancing between you and crowley. “I don’t see why not” he replied, before ushering the others out of the room.

A week after you were finally released from the infirmary, you made your way to your clearing once more, this time followed by Yuu, Crowley and the dormheads. “I guess i should show you what i can do” you laughed, playing around with your shiny, new pen wand. Your little bird friend swooped down, landing on your outstretched hand. “This is AJ, by the way” you explained, the bird on your hand letting out a friendly chirp “He’s a pretty cool little dude.” you motioned for yuu to stretch his arm out, Sending Aj over when he did. “Now for the real fun” you laughed, twirling the pen in your hands. Curious eyes watched as you began to alleviate the smaller things in the clearing, slowly moving to bigger items, then eventually, you began to lift the dorm leaders into the air one by one. Your smile grew as you heard their laughter. Slowly you let the wind pick up around you, letting a gentle breeze blow over everyone. You let everyone down slowly, letting the breeze die down on its own. A grin had formed on your face. Finally feeling accepted once again.

[pinkspiraling]

i need help making some decisions.

tldr: should i move back to a place that's probably toxic for me so i can be with a guy who im not sure it's going to work out with?

i started living with my grandfather recently bc i tried to kill myself a couple of months ago. im more than friends with this guy and we've been talking for six months, though ive known him longer than that. we live far apart now. my grandfather says he's toxic and i should drop him. i know this guy has his issues, but i don't think he's bad like my family says. he's the first guy who's ever been this good to me. i just don't know if im ignoring all the bad shit about us thinking that it'll just work itself out. ik guys lie obviously, but he seems really genuine about caring about me and wanting a relationship with me. i have to decide whether im staying with my grandfather or going back to live with my mom. my mom is kinda fucked up and things werent great over there, but my mom is getting cleaned up and is doing better than she ever has but i think she's still going to do the same shit. things are good with my grandfather, i have a great relationship with him.

i really don't want to lose this guy. he said he only wants a relationship with me in person. he doesn't know im considering moving back. my life has been completely uprooted the past year and the only part of it i still have is him, it feels like. idk if it'd be crazy to do all this, just for him. it sounds childish when i say this ig, especially since ik everyone sees this as a stupid teen fling, but he and i have a connection. isn't that worth it? or am i better off trying to start a new life?

he's had the same kind of life i had and we've bonded over that a lot ig. we have a good connection and we talk about everything. the thing that concerns me is that he's bipolar plus other things and won't get treated. things between us go up and down with his emotions.

im pretty sure im pregnant and idk what to do about that. i keep thinking about my own mom right now and how she messed me up. i wanted to think the rest of everything through first, honestly don't even know how to react.

there are other reasons to go back with my mom like school and work, but i could figure those things out here.

oh wow anon, there’s a lot of factors that go into a decision like this. i don’t have the right answer but i do think that you should focus on what’s best for YOU and YOUR future and well being! you can’t know for sure if it’s going to work out with him so don’t make a decision fully based around that. if he’s not getting treated and that worries you i think that is a big factor to consider. are you happy where you are rn? is living with your grandpa better for you than living with your mom? i always believe in going with your gut :) but also taking care of your current and future self. best of luck whatever u do <3

[golbrocklovely]

I dont understand how some of you dont see it and i know you’re going to keep denying it but i am telling you, she is not just being a bff who supports them and i say this based on stuff fans know and her roommate has said. (Also i am in no way shape or form saying she is a bad person) She clearly pushes the narrative that theres more going on even though he keeps liking pictures of different girls and following different girls, commenting certain stuff on their photos, saying hes single. But look, is it really necessary that out of anything she could post literally anything, she posts stories similar to his? And i dont mean scenery stories because shes obviously in the UK but stories peeking below the same window knowing what it might make people think.If he werent deleting stuff about them then i would think they were both in on it. But seriously even the smallest things he posts “my mirror isnt clean” then a few stories later, who posts from a bathroom saying the same thing. There are very little things she does and says to fans that has me sussing her out now because i genuinely feel she is trying too hard to make it seem there is something when he is not reciprocating and posting hes in his room.

It reminds me of the Shea early days when she would do the same thing, only difference is Stas is brought along more and not kept in the dark like Shea and he would not delete Sheas stuff, hed reply back. There have been a few stories now since being back from Vegas that he hasnt shown her face, you just see a knee or long hair. Then immediately she will let it be known she was there by either posting, replying to ig comments talking or liking posts about it. And it may not seem like a big deal but all i am saying is if this continues to be one sided, someone is bound to get hurt and a friendship will end. My guess is her.

personally, i feel like yall are reading into something that isn't there. if she copies her friends, so what. that's their problem to deal with (if it's even a problem to them in the first place), not ours to speculate about. we don't know her motives, or if she even has any.

and if you want to speculate, go ahead and do so. i just don't see the same thing you do.

and if stas is doing things that seem to be implying there is more between her and colby, clearly we all know that isn't the case. colby is very much single, and is going out with girls that aren't stas. maybe she's into him secretly. maybe she likes the attention she gets when it's related to him. maybe she's just accepted the fact that she's gonna be shipped with him so she plays into it, similar to amber. no one knows for certain.

if she gets hurt, that's on her. bc it's clear to most of us that colby only sees her as a friend.

and i'm not saying either one of us are right btw. i think realistically, none of us know the full story. we don't know anyone's full motives, whether or not they have any, and why they do the things they do. if you want to believe what you do, cool. i don't feel the same way, so i'm gonna disagree.

[strawberry-possum]

Man y'all ever just *becomes irrationally worried about someone you're barely acquaintances with and haven't spoken to in over two years*

[petscrub]

long post about my show

sorry idk how to do a read more on mobile

sooo about my show last night lmao. i was definitely nervous and i think it ofc reflected on me during the performance which is like. ok. thats fine, i expected that. when i got there there wasn’t a lot of ppl there and i talked to a few ppl and they were nice and friendly. and then later i started to set up my stuff and we had to find the right plugs and cords and such for my laptop but eventually we got it working. my music sounded p good all loud and stuff. and then as ppl slowly started to come in i went up to perform and i felt a bit awkward mainly bc there werent too many ppl and i was just singing. i think what will help my significantly in the future is having something to do whether playing the guitar or piano (preferably guitar) bc i just do not consider myself a singer and for that to be the only thing going on for me was kinda taking me out of the zone. i danced a little but the crowd was like. not dead? but not very dance-y. i wanted them to really vibe and there were a few people who were but majority were just kinda softly bopping their heads or something which is fine ig. i thought i didnt sound very good on the mic (probs bc first time performing live and it was hard to hear myself) but then i saw a video of me singing later and i think it was decent and better than what i thought. i did have some fun and it was nice to hear everyone cheer and clap and what not after each song that definitely held me in there. but overall i think the vibe was not mine. like it was so indie which is kinda my thing but not entirely. it was almost like. straight white indie. not like gay indie u know ? everyone seemed pretty straight (lots of very obviously cis straight girls and boys). and they seem to be the kinda music lovers who probably froth at the mouth when listening to like. phoebe bridgers. idk i say this bc the guy who went on after me was very good but he just had his guitar and sang. no backup instrumentals at all. and he sounded great! but it was just that kinda vibe that was so different than mine. i knew absolutely no oneeee there. and everyone loved this guy after me bc they all KNEW him. like lifelong friends. and the straight girls next to me were like wetting themselves just watching him lmfao. i was like ok yea i dont see myself really making a lot of friends at this place. or in general anywhere hahahah. i talked to some guys who were really chill and nice and honestly i got much better vibes from the straight guys than i did from the girls ? idk. they just seemed like they were there for the cute boys while the guys were there bc they are genuine music nerds. and they were very sweet to me for the most part. very helpful as well. i just felt very out of place and uncomfy bc i obviously dont know what im doing when it comes to this kinda stuff yet. so i decided to leave after the second set and i felt kinda bad about it but my thoughts were building up and i was like ok i gotta go. so on the train ride home i felt intensely suicidal, like more so than i usually get. i cried on the train and i think its honestly mainly bc i dont feel like i belong anywhere and that i will never find a place where i do feel myself and understood and accepted. and i kinda spiraled. after some reflection with gf when i got home, i realized it wasn’t even so much the performance that made me feel bad but just the thought of loneliness and how i feel like i will never fit in anywhere or make friends that are really meaningful to me. it made me wanna give up in the moment. in music and in life lol but i do know i tend to be a black or white kinda person. anyway. hopefully for my next show ill be more prepared and also be able to play some parts of my music live bc i think that will be what saves me really. and makes me have a good time. and also hopefully i will be in an environment that vibes more with what im putting out there. although i did got a lot of compliments on my set, like everyone was pretty supportive. it just felt weird.

[blissfulsun]

imagine having a fwb relationship w jeff but once you find out he'd slept with one of the ig girls you start to avoid him even tho you knew y'all werent exclusive but he shows up while youre leaving davids and confronts you

soooo...I went overboard am sorry😬💙🥺

He’s not yours, not really, you remind yourself as you stumble back down the stairs of some random house. You were reluctant to come to this party in the first place, fear of alcohol-induced honesty causing you to spill: heart and guts and all to Jeff if only given the chance.

Your gut was right of course, except it’s not because you happened to empty it in a confessional but because the image of Jeff with his mouth attached to some Instagram model you met a couple of weeks ago happened to now be seared into your memory.

You leave the party without telling any of your friends, texts asking where you disappeared off to ignored, same with the familiar knocking only a couple of hours later.

You tiptoed to check and upon seeing the familiar head of hair in the peephole, returned to the safety of your bedroom, the sheets muffling your sobs that night. You allow yourself that one evening of weakness, crying for your stupid crush and foolish feelings. 

And then it’s like it never happened, that night or you & Jeff. Stolen glances no more, no sly teasing or messages in risky circumstance. Hell, you won’t even spare him an individual greeting when you walk through the door, and that kills him inside.

Jeff isn’t sure what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, always a little too late to figure out what you might be thinking. He’s had enough when almost three weeks of aching distance go by.

Clearly, this isn’t a passing phase of teasing him with a little withdrawal, the thought that you’re no longer interested in the arrangement popping up. You run into him in passing, leaving David’s house in favour of other plans, it’s useless but you hope he would just let you walk past. Jeff takes his chance, it’s the first time you two are on your own in far too long.

 ‘We need to talk’ he states, leaning on the driver’s side of your car as to stop your escape. You huff, well aware of how you resemble a child who isn’t getting what they want, the comparison not that far off your current predicament.

There’s a sigh of defeat and then, ‘Okay, get in the car’ he’s quick to follow your instruction, a contrast to how it all worked between you two in your arrangement, you scold yourself for even thinking about it. 

‘So...talk’ you’re defensive off the bat, wanting to get the conversation over with. ‘What the hell is up with you?’ Jeff equally annoyed. ‘Nothing. That’s all you needed? Cool, cause I have plans so if you don’t mi-’ 

‘No. What the hell doll? If you don’t want this anymore then just tell me you're done instead of thi-’ ‘-I’m done.’ your back and forth escalates, the last statement to leave your lips stunning him into a brief silence. 

He feels his shoulders drop. ‘Tell me why.’ It’s a command, one you don’t want to follow but you know him, Jeff won’t leave your car until he’s got all the answers. You lean back in your seat and look away, ‘I saw you, a couple weeks ago with the brunette, she’s cute’ He’s lost at the way you shrug when the words fall out.

 ‘I...’ ‘-it’s okay you don’t have to explain yourself, it’s my bad. I didn’t think to ask if we were doing this exclusively’ A couple of weeks of distance have done wonders for you, granted, you’re dying on the inside but all Jeff sees is cold composure. In reality, you want to cry, scream, maybe damage his perfect little face but you refrain from showing weakness. 

‘I...I didn’t know, didn’t think you would want to be. Angel, If I knew that there was even the slightest possibility for us-’ His soft words don’t matter, they’re too late. 

‘There is no us Jeff.’ Your reply kills something in you both. 

[felismiscellaneous]

Casonverse Expo

ok so after you see this you Cannot save it. the whole thing about the casonverse is that its solely “oral” and memory based. i cannot write down “rules” to it or anything. this post Will be lost to time and youll just have to deal with that

ok so. we begin. our story. w/ an explanation on how ectobiology has been going on earth c. basically, every once in a while to increase genetic diversity, a babeh between two of the original founders is created randomly, and said founders get to decide if they want to adopt that babeh or not.

now its been a very very long time on earth c and all of these bitches are immortal. yep. every single one. even the non godtiers, they get an immortality boon for winning the game. you know whats also a boon? all of the players getting revived. yep. every single one. because this is my au and i can do what i want.

anyways as i was saying basically at some point a babeh between john and karkat is made and this time theyre like “yeah ok well adopt this one” SO. they be goin there. and the ONE TIME they decide this is the right time the baby is fuckin BROKE. the internal organs of trolls and humans dont mesh very well when the genes are combined in the ectomachine, and this baby is basically just dying very slowly. this baby isssss Casey! well, shes not named that by her parents, but well just call her Casey for now.

john and karkat do their fuckin best to keep this thing alive but her tiny baby body is completely dysfunctional. and doesnt last very long. This is Traumatizing for Everyone Involved. anyways!! a pretty long time after that we have Cason and Jones. they were spawned at the same time. Jones is rose and kanayas horrible ectospawn, and Cason happens to be another equally horrible spawn between john and karkat! they decide to adopt this one, and fortunately it lives. This was Their First Mistake.

but before we get into Cason, lets get into Jones. Jones is,,,, very socially awkward. in fact, she often comes off as creepy to everyone else. this makes her very clingy towards her mothers, who arent That terrible at parenting. theyve got quirks, but theyre good for her. Jones doesnt really have any friends, except this Totally Cool and Not at All Dangerous cult she gets dragged into! this is the second secret shes ever kept from her mothers. the first is that shes the one who keeps bringing snails into the house. Jones likes snails, but shes not good at taking care of them. she just keeps bringing them into the house and feeding them her snack. her snack is rat poison. snails like and digest rat poison safely. snails! she likes them.

ALSO APPARENTLY SHE CAN SEE GHOSTS???? yeah lets get into that. see, Casey becomes a Regular Ghost after she dies. not a dream ghost, just a plain ol ghost. and anyways, shes around the same age as everyone else if not a year older due to Ghost Rules now, and Cason is the only one that seems to be able to see her. and then theres Jones. Jones is absolutely stunning to Casey and yes she falls so hard in dokis. but Jones is trying to ignore the fact that she can see ghosts. it makes her feel like even more of an outcast. ooooo drama! anyways those two have their own background plot going on about fighting eldritch gods or something idk.

LETS GET BACK TO CASON. see. Cason. is The Worst. like, genuinely. ever since he was a kiddo, he was a completely spoiled brat from day one, and spent his childhood Looking Down on People for multiple reasons. for one, hes the son of TWO FUCKING FOUNDERS AND RAISED BY THEM, two he got away with EVERYTHING, and three i think its just in his nature. Cason prides himself in being knowledgeable and better than everyone else, but he is not like Other Egomaniacs((tm.))

Cason doesnt necessarily care about being liked, even if he WAS a great manipulator, or being the best at Everything. he couldnt care less about sports or popularity. all he wants, is Control. just like hes had since day one. This is Terrible for Everyone Involved.

but most terrible for anyone, is Tippie Piyjon. Tippie is terezi and nepetas ectospawn, which, really started it all. now, terezi and nepeta are not horrible people, or even necessarily horrible parents, but theyre just not suited for it. Tippie raised herself on romance novels and the like, especially after being sortve taken in as a goddaughter by karkat almost immediately after she was born. and, because of this, she got to meet Cason very early on. there was hardly ever a day where the two werent around eachother, whether they liked it or not. in school, at their own house, wherever. now, being around Cason of all people all the time, meant you knew exactly how he operated.

and well, Tippie figured that, maybe, if she was just good enough, she could change him. and Cason used that to his full advantage. the two became moirails, which was Fucked Up for Everyone Involved, and grew ever closer. now Cason, being Cason, was Extremely Emotionally Abusive to Tippie. she had to do what he asked, whatever it was, even if it wasnt morally right, she had to stay by his side, she couldnt cry in front of his parents, she had to get good grades so he wouldnt look bad, so many damn things she had to do. even if he never once laid a finger on her, her mental health was, slowly but surely, chiseled down.

every attempt at defying him was met with such coldness, or hed act more warm towards her, so surely she was doing something right and had to keep going. just had to be good enough. hell get better eventually. Cason earns the title of #1 Gaslighter Extraordinare. the only place she found any solace away from him was grubscouts, which she joined on her own terms when she was very young, and at the time was a camp counselor even! this lasted. for so many years.

Cason is nineteen whenever i depict him, and Tippie is seventeen, but very nearly eighteen. eventually, she cant take it anymore, and snaps at him. usually this doesnt last, and he would manage to calm her down eventually, but shes fucking Tired of it. he hasnt changed. not even a bit. well. Cason cant have that, now can he? the first time he lays a hand on her, he slaps her across the face. Big Mistake. though terrified, Tippie lashes out, and claws Casons left eye out, making a terribly deep gash that would leave him permanently blind in that eye whether or not he got treatment.

this scares the SHIT out of her, and Tippie runs off, for the first time, to her mothers. as she cries, she recounts how terrible everythings been and how she didnt mean it and shes sorry and- theres nothing to apologize for. its very clear, that they shouldve stepped in sooner, shouldve noticed something was wrong. meanwhile, Cason crawls home to his own dads, who are rightfully spooked seeing their son with a horrifically bloody face and a gouged eyeball. they only had a second to try and comfort him, before he snapped at them, showing a bit of his true nature to them for the first time, and also, terezi showing up behind him. after a thorough explanation which was mostly just a few stern, if a little tearful words, Casons parents are completely mortified. karkat quickly kicks him out in an act of raw emotion. no chance to grab clothes, or for john to interject, Cason is left outside, alone, and with absolutely no power left. what will he do?

theres also other characters but theyre like babies so they dont have much characterization and also arent very important to the story. but here they are ig:

owen, jade and daves child. hes like, 3. he likes sticks and playing in mud. hes 3 what more do you want from him

siyren, aradia and feferis kiddo. shes like, 6. she likes ballet, arts and crafts, and being snooty

damien, eridan and solluxs kid. hes 10, likes calling people slurs over xbox, and overcompensating since his parents waited so damn long to adopt him after his slimebirth

killer, who named himself, aradia and sollux kid. hes like 11 or something. he likes being edgy and has the same issue as damien. in fact, all but siyren have this issue

toga bitch, who i have currently yet to name, aradia and eridans kid. shes 12. she likes earth rome and chilling in public fountains. a burgundy whose violetkin

wemon wemon, who is also currently unnamed, feferi and eridans kid. hes 13, the oldest. he likes earth lemon demon and horror special effects

carrie, feferi and solluxs kid. shes like 11, likes dance dance revolution and earth 9s

rosie, calliope and roxys bab, whos a baby. jane is also her mom

ben, tippies far future carapacian bf, who likes boring shit like birdwatching and scrapbooking. malewife supreme. a very soft dude, and just wants to help his gf w/ her trauma and join her grubscout troop on earning badges. just a great, if boring guy

notkonyyl, just as unnamed, a notcanadian oliveblood who enjoys going to the gym, frequenting bars, being cool, flirty, and defending her moirail to the death

notkuprum, haha unnamed, is a human, and the moirail to notkonyyl. he likes things like being annoying, flirting with everyone taller than him ((most people)), the nintendo switch, and defending his moirail to the death

[fairycosmos]

Thank U! So me& my ex broke up 2 years ago. They broke up w/me but once I got Over the initial upset it was more mutual cuz I knew it was 4the best. We didnt talk for ages but got back in contact& have been gr8 friends since. We dont talk all the time but we are very open bout how important the other is 2us, we support each other thru life&just really get& see each other. We broke up cuz we were both in a bad way after the abuse we faced due to their ex. We kept on having misunderstandings& arguments but it was more to do with the proximity to the trauma cuz on reflection our fights werent bad we were just in a bad place&in a LDR so we relied on text/calls&facetime which made everything harder. Ive never gotten over them& its not from lack of trying but everything about them makes my heart sing. I love them in a way I cant fully explain. It feels like no other love Ive had its like breathing it feels natural to my whole being. Loving them helped me to love myself better love others better heal myself& grow so much. Ive loved before but never any real issues letting someone go after we broke up. Even if it was hard Im not the type to pine over some1 or any of that but if they asked me in the morning Id drop everything now to move where they are and to try to work on things. Ive thought about& tried to bring it up more than once but something always happened to1 of us that would of just made the timing inappropriate& they mean too much to me to just throw it at them when theyre going thru shit. Even if it didnt work out& they didnt want me Id want to talk about it in a way that was as comfortable& healthy as poss for us both: its still not a good time rn for me to bring it up. They have a lot of on w/family & work & I’m also working thru some stuff so Im not looking to talk rn but I been thinking about them so much today. I miss them a lot& have that “idk what to do” feeling. I just mostly really needed to get it off my chest& maybe have another opinion cuz I cant really talk to any1 about it so Thank U again for listening to me. - cj x

hey!! :) honestly to me it sounds like you have a really good + realistic understanding of your own situation. i’m really sorry for the pain you’re in and how heavy it all must feel, how frustrating it must not to be able to make things work at the moment when you love someone that much. all the hurt, confusion and sadness is completely justified and it is ok to sit with it and let it out until it leaves you entirely. no matter how long that takes. it’s all just a process. i’ve seen it happen quite a lot - where the person is right but the timing is wrong. if you want my opinion ig the first thing that came to mind for me like was, okay so you recognize that now is not the time to confess to them or to start anything romantic, but you also recognize that you both love each other and you’re both on the same page about how important you are to each other. that’s a really good sign because it indicates that even if you don’t get into a proper relationship any time soon, you’re still going to keep each other in your lives and you’re still going to nurture the love between you. i know platonic love is a little different but all of the goodness is still there and it’s still something to celebrate, to not shy away from. anyway, what i’m saying is, since you can’t do much to confront it right now - maybe planning what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it could occupy your mind until the time is right. if you can’t control the when you can least control the how. maybe writing down your thoughts and reading them over, trying your best to find what expression feels most accurate to your emotions could be a good place to start. perhaps seeing it all clearly laid out like that will help you feel less conflicted and more sure of where you want to go from here. i think it’s natural to not be fully certain anyway because emotions r so wishy washy at the best of times. it’s normal not to know what to do, nobody goes. we just do the best we can to be honest w the people we care about. sidenote it’s really respectful of you to be so considerate of whether or not they can handle such a heavy conversation btw, it’s really cool of you. you clearly care about them a lot as i’m assuming they do to you nd that’s what matters the most. so yeah i guess feeling it out and being prepared to have the talk when the moment presents itself would b the best course of action?? imo anyway. i’m usually a bit wary of going back to old flames but it doesn’t sound like you ended on bad terms last time. and it also sounds like you’re still super in love with them, AND like you’re going to be respectful of whatever their response may be. so i can’t see this ruining things for you guys beyond repair. anyway i really hope you guys get there eventually and that you both share a lot of love and life together for many years to come. i’m rooting for you a lot!! take care x

[punkcryptids]

ramble

this is the one form of social media i can vent on and be confident no one is gonna find it, it won’t start drama and i can just go the fuck off

i have this ex friend right? really mf toxic, i cut her off last year n shit is all good, right?

anyways, last week i found out she has been consistently posting abt me on her tik tok, just indirects, since aT LEAST may, probably longer. and i told her the fuck off, made my own shit behind “obsessed” by mariah carrey, after some comments back n forth, the whole incident is said n done, she blocks me. ok cool

here i am, finding out the bitch is *still* making indirects. its a lil less obvious, so of course there’s the possibility it’s not me but knowing the situation im p sure it is-- the caption was like “if you side w someone because they’re crying but dont care about what they did, i hate you” or something like that. and im just at my wits end dude,, (a tiny bit of context; our friend group completely left her when i did, n all of them commented on my video + people who were kinda in our friend group but not completely if that makes sense-- one of the kinda in the group ppl commented on her video n she responded “wtf did i ever do to you” so thats why i think the caption has to do w me)

it doesnt make me as anxious as it used to but it makes me angry dude. n the indirects were really fuckin wild. im not tryna explain the situation too much because it was a whole year of verbal/mental abuse that i somewhat tuned out because *trauma*, but she was making wholeass posts abt my relationship. thats what is was, each n every time. 

makes sense bc it was the whole fucking issue when we were friends, but they were straight lies. shit abt how he cheated on me and-- she KNOWS its not true. SHE KNOWS, the whole issue is she was overly involved in my relationship because we were both her best friends.  

the whole reason this incident happened in the first place was because two days before i made my thing calling her out, she posted ANOTHER indirect. idk how many of yall are on tiktok, but it was the trend “introduce yourself as why you and your ex bsf dont talk” and gUeSs wHaT iT SaID?? “i dont like when my friends get cheated on”. its amazing the mental gymnastics she has to go through to feel correct in the situation. AMAZING. making up whole ass events that didnt happen (when we had our lil confrontation she cited him cheating on me when WE WERENT TOGETHER dnkjfheifjoewi) 

god this probably reads so weirdly because its a random insight to a situation without full context + it jumps all over. im sorry about that i just physically cannot dude. im a legal adult next year, class of 2021 babey and it fucking blows my mind theres still this middle school drama bs going on. and i cant do shit, because all she will do is block me when i call her out on her bs and then continue to post abt it. when it first happened it made me feel happy and relieved that i stood up for myself for once but then finding out shes doing the same shit shes just a fucking coward.

ig whats sending me more is the one comment she left on my video was “bell would you like to say this to my face” n then BLOCKED ME N CONTINUED TO SHIT TALK I-

i know i need to work on letting it not bother me-- she will talk her shit, she will spew her lies, and at least all of the people who were there for the situation know shes wrong-- n thats all that matters. but anxiety is a bitch sometimes. plus i guess it just hurts, she was such a gaslighting, manipulative person n it fucking hurts to see her lie and turn that shit on me. esp because my mind is littered with mental instability that i will start to bELIEVE IT HDhnfiujfo. it makes me mad that i have to deal with the trauma she gave me n she gets to sit there making tik toks lying about what happened to strangers online to validate her. what bothers me even more is it wasnt even about our relationship really. it was just about MY relationship with my boyfriend which feels so fucking weird. especially bc half of her tiktoks are directed at calling me a bad person (+saying how much better she is than me lmao) n missing my bf (who she calls her “brother” even though she gaslit him and manipulated him all the same djifhbdi) and the other half is like she misses me ??? considering the latest indirect (before she blocked me) was abt why we arent friends anymore

i cannot stress enough how fucking done i am. it stresses me out because i cut her out of my life so i wouldnt have to deal w it and i feel like i cant escape her and i hate it i want to move out of this fuckign town so i never have to have the possibility of running into her 

but if i do run into her you bet your ass im calling her pussy ass out >:) 

also shoutout my therapist who will get the run down (probably a summary of this post) of this situation tomorrow hehe 

[he-tea-lia]

thank you for the advice. it was actually rly helpfull. i am not going to say my age but i am not legally old enough to drink... i know i should not be doing it pls dont bother telling me to stop. i am only a college freshman she is only a grade below me when we went out. i am not even a full year older than her, just that our birthdays put us in different grades, yknow? i think i am really lonely and so im comparing them more than i did when we first ment. she looks ALOT like alice but 1/?

i also really like how cheerful she is and she's silly and fun and i only really knew her for a few months but she made me so happy. i worry that even ig im not compairing her to alice, i might be too idk like idolizing my memories of her instead of what really happened??? Idk if i put that right but yeah. I was in a better place ementally then too. idk if i am ready to date, but just being her friend sounds rly nice right now. the thing is we werent really friends before we dated and 2/?

when we met i felt like we sorta clicked (she felt the same according to our texts from a year ago) and the word i think iw as looking for is infatuated? yeah. i know love at first sight is only in fanfic and obviously im not that good at relationships since ive only ever had one. still. when we first met we exchanged numbers and i thought she was flirting with me (she was) and so i flirted back and we agreed to go on a date and then we did and she let me borrow her sweater //^^// it was romantic and one of the best memories i have of high school.

ah ok, that makes a lot of sense! sorry about the assumption then haha. honestly, that all sounds really sweet! i think it’s definitely worth reaching out to her — if you’re not sure about dating, then being friends sounds like a great option honestly! she’d probably love to hear from you. x

[beebosbitchh]

1-10 I love hearing your answers :)

aw thank you :’-)

1. Name one way you break the wlw stereotype. (Fat, trans, poc, autistic, etc)

im non binary ! 

2. Who was the first girl you remember having feelings for?

hmm i think i had them when i was younger i just didnt think about it? the first one i remember was in 7th grade with this girl in my home ec and gym class.. i think i mostly liked her bc i didnt know many other gays and i knew she was one but she was/is really pretty like how.. also is 7th grade there was this girl in my computers class i sat by who, thinking back on it, i wanted to date lol. we werent super close but i always felt safe with them and their personality was just,, goodd ya know

3. What’s your opinion on the butch/femme labels? Do you think they’re harmful?

i think with any label they arent harmful if you assign them to yourself? like i dont see any harm in them as long as no one is forcing anyone into a box… i hadnt even considered this i havent seen any discourse on it before ig i dont really know

4. Do you have a girlfriend?

hellllll yeahhhh 

5. Define love in 5 words or less

didnt they tellyou whothe donorwas?

6. What characteristics do you look for in a girl?

mmmmmmm gay, good humor, interesting, willingly to date me/be seen w me in public

7. Do you participate in LGBTQ clubs and events?

i used to be in gsa but its kinda weird at my school :-/, the place where i work has an art workshop for lgbt teens that i might try to be in this year

8. Are you out to anyone outside of tumblr?

yeah my parents know and for the most part idc who knows at school.. im not out to my extended family as far as i know…

9. Say some things you love about your crush/girlfriend?

uhh everything? i love when claire explains skyrim to me its v cute, i love when she watches pg movies with me, i love her freckles and her nose n her lips n braces n eyes n eyelashes that point down that annoy her (but its cute soo), i love her laugh especially when shes delirious which is a lot, i love her hands which she draws on or gets paint on (that i !!! get to hold !!!1!), i love when she hears smt that doesnt make sense so she looks at me w a weird face like ???, i love when she smiles!!!!!!!! , i love how she makes sure i stay on the sidewalk when im third wheeling, i love how she puts stickers on me throughout the day, i love how vocal she can get when shes around more or friends bc shes v quiet around people shes uncomfortable w, i love that she smells good and i can literally tell if shes near me its such a comfort, i love when she sends w good memes or pictures of dogs she meets ..

fellas is it gay, to be a huge lesbian  ????????

10. Do you want to get married?

binch do i ! 

[gumheel]

excuse the messy doodles its 3 am but ive spent most of today sleeping (bc... sleep deprivation makes you Fucky In The Head) and thinking abt a marb/le horn/ets au in which sarah ends up with the tapes instead. amy runs toth/eark, jessica is a loose tim equivalent, but... yeah. more on this au (which i started thinking abt bc i love gorls) under the cut

OK SO my htoughts are that the events of the film itself run similar -- it still features brian as the main character, sarah is still a student actress enlisted in the film, seth and jay are still serving as cameraman n script supervisor, etc. so like alex is still the Big Bad(tm)

uh... ig the big diff in the ma/rble horne/ts mvoie is that tim isnt involved ? instead the audition tape we see in entry 84 features amy introducing jessica to alex (bc amy n alex r dating... she sitll attends a different college but her n jess r old friends n she thought jess who lives in town might be interested in the movie) and jess auditions. she essentially plays the role tim wouldve had

so the mar/ble hor/nets casting is pretty much the same

i think sarah gets her hands on the tapes will be like.. ok so EITHER sarah gets them in the first place somehow but since she isnt a film student she just doesnt care about them until like. 3 years after alex quits the film OR later on jay does get the tapes from alex and never watches them until he encounters sarah (shh plot reasons), they get to talking about mh and jay asks if she wants the tapes bc hes pretty sure he has them and shes like “ok sure maybe i can compare it to my newer projects n see how ive evolved as an actress”. i havent decided... the first would probably flow better bc jay would be a one-off character in this au but the second would make more sense ig ?

either way sarah gets the tapes, either HAS or BUYS a video camera that can play them (in my head shes doing shows at a local theater as well as some other job. idk yet) and starts watching them. the first few are fine and then she starts noticing the op/erator n that alex is filming himself more and more and is like “hm... that thing in the suit is worrying n alex was being weird” and decides to upload them. i feel like she exercises a lot more caution w what she uploads but (shrug emoji)

sarah starts off watching them out of curiosity which is,,, still why she watches once she notices the weirder stuff ? eventually it becomes worrying for alex (even tho hes an asshole in the footage . she sees that lines up w the op/erators appearances and wonders what that is) as well as like... why all that fucky stuff was happening. she really truly considers it in the past until she figures out her memory starts lapsing and that theres footage on the tape she doesnt remember so

sarah starts filming herself as well and starts catching the Girl In The Mask around the time to/thea/rk starts uploading vids in response to hers (tta being amy bc shes the one in the hoodie in this). this is Fucky and she does a lot of the same stuff jay does including visit either brian or jessicas old house. not sure of which of those two yet

sarah leaves her apartment bc the footage she gets is freaky n she doesnt feel safe there anymore. that night in the first hotel she sees that it was burned down n nearly stops persuing the mh film but realizes that she kinda has to at this point, w/e it was took her apartment and could very well be dangerous n the tapes and whatever they show her is pretty much her only chance to get answers n truly get away

she still interviews jessica (under the guise of wanting to see how the mh cast was doing 3 years after the fact which is... still kinda a lie but not as far from the truth as jays was lol) who tells her she fell out of contact w amy n the mh cast n doesnt really say a whole lot else.

uh since jessica n tim r p much equivalents here, sarah wakes up in that hotel w 7 months gone n tims the one she meets. he gets involved like jess did -- brians old friend (who alex is revealed to have been looking for in an attempt to finally finish everything) who got dragged back into it

SO YEAH. she wakes up w 7 months gone (she charged the ope/rator like jay did in an attempt to help tim. sarah isnt as oblivious to the genre as jay was but she still does rash things), sees the Girl In The Mask (jessica), and so forth. she leaves after getting the tapes from the safe That Night All That Shit Goes Down

in the 7 months gone, sarah encounters alex at the address where they see the Girl In The Mask whos revealed to be jessica. sarah actually stops alex from hurting her bc Sarah Doesnt Want To Stan Alex As Much As Jay Did and they both leave in a fury. alex runs out of patience w sarah much faster bc... they werent ever rlly friends in this au. mostly the same stuff happens there too, alex lies to both tim and sarah etc etc. sarah gets tims phone number the same way (Being Really Fucking Annoying And Eventually Taking Alexs Keys)

so sarah figures all that out, feels guilty bc she realizes theres a person who could be seriously in danger bc of her n so on.

i havent figured out a whole lot more but she meets up w jessica n actually comes clean one of the first times they meet instead of getting clocked the fuck out and they team up

idk whether or not sarah dies or anything. ive been figuring this out mostly linearly akdslasjdk but. YEAH thats all my thoughts on this so far i might revisit it

[poorboxershorts]

92 questions

i was tagged by @blue-greenstylinson so here it is

*THE LAST*

drink- water

phone call- my band director

text message- ‘u r adult’ to my band director

song you listened to- destroya by my chemical romance

time you cried- idk a few days ago

*HAVE YOU EVER*

dated someone twice- nope

been cheated on- yeah

kissed someone and regretted it- no

lost someone special- they didn’t die or anything but yes

been depressed- definitely

gotten drunk and thrown up- nah

*FAVORITE COLORS*

first- maroon

second- pastel pink

third- baby blue

*IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU*

made friends- ye

fallen out of love- yeah

laughed until you cried- idk maybe

found out someone was talking about you- h a h a yeah

met someone who changed you- for sure

found out who your real friends are- yeah

kissed someone on your facebook list- i dont even have facebook

*GENERAL*

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life- i dont have facebook

have pets- 3 dogs (lilly, felix, fiona) and a cat (jamie)

want to change your name- kinda but i probably never will

what did you do for your last birthday- we were in boston bc my mom was in the marathon the day before

time you woke up- 3 pm

what were you doing at midnight last night- watching gmm and on tumblr

something you can’t wait for- graduation night (lmao)

last time you saw your mom- idk a few hours ago

something you wish you could change in your life- procrastinate less and be less awkward

what are you listening to rn- nothing lmao i cant multitask

have you ever talked to a person named tom- not that i can remember

most visited website- tumblr or youtube

something that gets on your nerves- anyone who is racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and/or etc.

elementary school- wont say the name but its a small catholic private school

high school- again, a small catholic private school

college- something in new york if things work out as planned

hair color- naturally blonde but currently dark red

length of hair- shaved on the sides and back, but the rest of it goes just above my chin

do you have a crush on somebody- not really

something you like about yourself- glasses

nickname- my brother calls me emme

relationship status- recently single

zodiac- aries

pronouns- she/her

tv show- supernatural and american horror story

tattoos- none currently but i want a bunch when im older

right or left handed- right but i was supposed to be left so its weird

surgery- none

piercings- just ears but i want more

blood type- idk

sport- its not much of a sport but marching band

vacation- i love nyc

shoes- vans

eating- just had some fish

drinking- nothing rn

im about to- watch more gmm

waiting for- band camp

want- someone to date me and not break up with me for a dumb reason lmao

get married- hopefully

career- i have no idea

eye color- green ig

favorite movie- karla

best friend- jasmine

*YOUR TYPE*

hugs or kisses- both pls

lips or eyes- eyes

shorter or taller- idrc but taller would be nice

older or younger- well around my age but older

nice arms or stomach- i mean idk arms ig but not muscular

sensitive or loud- idc

hook up or relationship- relationship

troublemaker or hesitant- idc

*HAVE YOU EVER*

kissed a stranger- nope

drank hard liquor- uhh

lost glasses- yes

turned someone down- only when they asked me out as a dare

sex on first date- no

broken someones heart- nah

had your heart broken- ye

been arrested- nah

cried when someone died- i dont think so

fallen for  friend- everyone ive ever dated was a friend first

*DO YOU BELIEVE IN*

yourself- not really

miracles- depends

love at first sight- no

santa clause- nah

kiss on fist date- yeah

angels- eh depends on the day

*QUESTIONS I MADE BC THERE WERENT 92*

height- 5′7″/5′8″

sexuality- biromantic demiheterosexual (dang thats a mouthful)

favorite book- all the bright places

clothes- i wear a lot of black and flannel

yo so i tag @thedarknesszone and @drm-bby but you guys dont have to do it if you dont want to lmao i just felt like i had to tag someoone

[michaelreaderreblog]

My truemate pt4

Catch up here>>> PartOne , PartTwo , PartThree

Word Count: 2,161

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Dean and Sam both startle at your sudden outburst and back away slowly. You begin to sob as you stay seated on the floor

“All I ever wanted him is to stop, thats all I asked for is to stop but he didnt, he kept going and never stopped” You say as you let out a shaky breath at the same time sobbing, you begin to let loose and have your legs fall to the floor.

Dean sees that as a sign to move closer to you and when he sees you dont resist he takes you into his arms and holds you while you sob against his chest.

“At the restaurant or in your dream?” Sam asks while he wipes the tears away from your face along with the sweat from your forehead while Dean still has his hold on you.

You sit there motionless and just feeling tired to do anything or even say a single word. You sleep in the embrace of your brothers arms and when he is ready to place you back on your bed

“Sleep with me please” You say in a hushed tone sounding so little pleading with one of your brothers to sleep with you for the night just like when you were just a pup after having a nightmare.

“Sure thing kiddo, sure thing” Dean says while he lifts you and places you on the bed, after he crawls in next to you still has his arms around you.

He kisses the top of your head while nodding to Sam he has you for the night and he turns to kiss you at the top of your head as well.

“Night baby girl, love you” Sam says while you mumble sweet nothings back knowing all to well that he didnt hear you.

Sam walks away from the both of you and walks out to close the door behind him, you sleep soundlessly without having a single dream as you know Dean is the one who is sleeping with you to keep the monsters at bay.

“Michael what are you going to do man?” Benny asks him while he goes around the restaurant to see if there are still anything left behind from his employees.

“I dont know Benny, the way she felt and looked so completely terrified to even look at me” He says looking to Benny feeling completely helpless.

“Give her some time, Im pretty sure that she scented you to as well. In the mean time she will be ok since she has two alpha brothers to keep an eye on her” Benny says from the kitchen putting a few things away.

“Doesnt Dick know that he is going to be in a shit load of trouble after all of this?” He asks looking to Benny while he comes back into the dining area where Michael is seated near by the kitchen.

“Dick is Dick you should know that, he doesnt think like that. He was raised in a

traditional home full of Alphas and Betas thinking that they can do whatever they want with an Omega and they think of them as nothing other than a hole to fuck” Benny looks to Michael and feels extremely uncomfortable talking about a person like that but thats how he thinks of Richard Roman and his family.

“Thank god he isnt in office or else this town would go down in flames” He says looking away from Benny and looking out into the empty streets of Kamloops.

“Thats what Im most grateful for and very damn happy your father is in office with his beliefs in Omega rights. Speaking of Omega how is Castiel these days? I havent seen him in a while” Benny asks while getting away from the topic of Dick and into more of a neutral conversation.

“Castiel has been good but he hardly goes anywhere. Mother fears for him knowing how some people are around here and I do to but I am willing to hang out with him since we are more closer even after” Michael cuts himself from going any further about talking about his family and Benny knows all to well what has happened over the past couple of years with the Cuthberts.

A couple of years ago after Castiel presented as Omega after one of his heats he decided it would be a good idea to meet up with friends in the square. What ended up happening was he got taken from the streets of Kamloops and taken to a warehouse found himself tied to a chair.

He was well enough to get his phone from his pocket to text Lucifer who is their older brother, an emergency text and mentioned he was in some warehouse. Luc knew where to find his baby brother after reminding Castiel to turn on the GPS on his phone. 

Michael was away in school during the time he got abducted. Lucifer took matters into his own hands to save his brother from his abductees, he climbed the fire escape to get into the warehouse surveyed the area to make sure no one was around to spot him.

When he got to the room Castiel was being tied up in, he heard three sets of foots steps coming towards him. He unlocked the door with the bobby pins he had in his pockets, opened the door to close it behind him, Castiel wasnt aware his older brother was in the room now. He went straight for Castiel and undid the rope that bound him to the chair as fast as he could to get them both out of the warehouse. He woke up and began to resist Lucifer.

“Hey hey its me Im going to get us out of here” He says to his baby brother and luckily he complies to his response. Right when he undid the very last rope is when the three men came walking into the room, Lucifer threw Castiel to the side of the room while the three men attacked him.

He gave it his all when he was fighting off the three alpha's and yelled to Castiel to get out of the warehouse as fast as he could without turning back but he was hesitant to leave his older beloved brother behind. When one of the men were about to come for Castiel is when he kicked him in the groin, he got up as fast as he could to run out of the room and down the hall to run out of the warehouse.

When he got outside and ran straight for Lucifer's car is when he got in, started it and drove away. He made it just minutes away from the warehouse and called the police to let them know what had happened. When the police arrived at the scene they only made one arrest while the other two made a run for it, one of the officers brought back Castiel to identify a body and to his shock it was his brother Lucifer.

He felt completely numb at the sight in front of him, when the paramedics took his lifeless form away from him is when he frantically pulled away from the officer to see his brother again to make sure he was only sleeping but the officer held him and repeatedly told him he is gone and he died saving him. Castiel couldnt help but feel it was all his fault his older brother wasnt with him anymore, blamed his biology for the cause of his brothers death and everything else he blamed himself for.

If he had just stayed home like his brother said in the beginning until the scent of his heat went away than none of this would have happened. He would have been going home with his brother but that wasnt going to happen. All throughout the years he has spent so many of them locked away in his room replaying the events over and over again. If he wasnt in his room he would be locked away in his brothers old room going through all of his belongings even at times his parents would find him wearing his clothes but would never say anything to him.  

When Michael came home and saw how Castiel was he so badly wanted to take him away from the guilt and have everything unto him but he would always tell him

“I dont want you to carry around this guilt, this hate” He didnt like how his brother was until he brought up the idea of having him move with him to Portland, at first Chuck and Naomi werent so keen on the idea of having their youngest son moving away from home.

Until it was Chuck who decided it would be a great idea for Castiel to be away from home for a while and stop thinking about the death of his brother and son. After two years Michael has graduated from his construction program while Castiel went for a graphic design program and finished the program online.

“You should bring him by sometimes, would like to see him” Benny says looking to him with a smile on his face.

“Yeah Im pretty sure he would like that” He says looking away from Benny to take a sip from his coffee which almost reminded him of you but wasnt fresh enough.

“Now about this girl, you sure she is your true mate? Dont get me wrong Im pretty sure she is a delight but what about Anna?” Benny asks as he comes back to the table after he locked the front entrance and turned on the closed sign.

“I will deal with Anna, she always said how much she believed in true mates. She told me once she will let me go if mine ever came along but that was years ago when she told me that” He says putting his cup of coffee down.

“Thats what I mean, look you got to talk to her and at the same time get the new girls name at least and see what will take from there. I am rootin for ya Michael really I am but deal with the most obvious before anyone gets hurt. Alright?” Benny says to him and they both get up from the table to walk through the kitchen to exit the back of the restaurant to head home for the night.

“The girls name is Y/n Winchester, her brother Sam introduced himself along with her after I got rid of Dick” Michael says looking to Benny.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl. I hope she reports his ass, I am pretty sure everyone else will come forward when they hear about this” Benny says while finishing off his coffee and Michael does the same.

Michael needed to get a lot of things out of the way before he could even see you again. He got into his truck to head home to Anna who is a Beta he met in college,  he really thought he was going to marry her to spend the rest of his life with her until he saw you and that all changed once he caught your scent.

He got out of his truck to walk up the drive to get to the door to unlock it and go inside the house. He went to the kitchen to grab himself a beer from the fridge when he heard Anna coming down the stairs.

“Hey, its after midnight. Benny have you throw out a customer again?” She asks coming to him to give him a peck to his lips.

“Yeah, Dick was being a dick of course. He groped this woman as she was walking in with her brothers an Omega. She was so deathly afraid to even look at me she stood hidden behind her brother Sam” Michael says walking away from Anna to sit at the table.

“Did she call the police? Or did anyone call the police?” She asks following the same as Michael did to the table.

“No, no one called the police, and I dont know if she did when they got home.” said Michael

“I could just feel the fear she was giving off, I just wanted to move her brother out of the way and comfort her until she stopped shaking or at least until the fear went away” He continues

Anna looks surprised to even hear what he is saying. They both end the conversation and head up the stairs to the room that they share and get to bed.

Dean is the one who rises early, he looks to your sleeping form all curled up beside him

“So cute just like when you were four” He whispers as he gets up from the bed, you heard what he had said and that brought a smile to your face once he walked out of the room. He meets Sam in the hallway

[mjeoppa]

a story i told my friends

it’s long so. also contains malay words, if need translation dont use google, ask me. Quick summary: im actually happy (???questionable) but its all rather bittersweet

Maybe a quick intro to the characters of the drama

Me:awkward but living Raja: someone i kinda grew close through wanting to go to the same places together, a smart girl who's understanding and talks a lot, went to an agama school so she has that conservative part of her Afiq: a guy who lives in my neighborhood who's like probably the good samaritan of our malaysian organization, hobbies include playing video games, watching anime and cooking Hakim: afiq's housemate, doesnt really talk to people much but likes to get involved, hobbies include creating short films

So, i met all 3 separately; raja, since she's in my batch, earlier on, in fact she actually flew to michigan with me halfway, then we had different flights. Afiq i met when he came over to my house once, then later he came by bc my housemates said he could help me put my table together, and even then we were chatting comfortably. Hakim i met on a bus home after orientation, and i recognized him immediately; the guys from damansara i saw in the malaysian organization yearbook. But i didnt say anything bc how would i know he's malaysian lol

So after awhile i became friends w raja and afiq, progressing quite well in the friendship statuses, both of them having common interests w me. Then i found out that they were close w each other too. By the end of the semester, it was pretty obvious that afiq has a thing for raja, by the way he treats her.

Hakim on the other hand i kept having accidental meet ups w on the bus, n i could only officially say i know him after the first mso (malaysian student organization) meeting, but after that i didnt have a chance to say a thing to him. But after that meeting, i could also officially say that i have a crush on this guy. Afiq had talked about him, my friend's housemate talked about him, n from what i learned this guy has a weird charm where he does the most unexpected things, or maybe bc hes so quiet no one really knows what hes thinking

Im close to one of my housemates (who has graduated last semester), kak tipah whom i confessed i have a thing for hakim, and she told me that he has a girlfriend 🙃this was rather early in the semester, so i ended up shuffling crushes a lot throughout, but ofc hakim was still my first crush, also my first heartbreak in michigan

Another one of my housemates, kak su, recruited me to join her for her winter break trip, and when she asked whom i think would wanna join, i suggested raja. Another person who was already in on the plan w kak su was a guy named mirza. At this point i knew nothing about him. There was a phase where i would continuously confirm w my housemates whom mirza is through pictures until i could officially recognize him myself

It was thanksgiving, or maybe a few days before when mirza finally confirmed that the fifth and final member of our trip is hakim (jeng jeng jeng). I was happy, but i had to remain calm. He has a girlfriend, after all.

Okay so winter trip. That was so freaking fun. Funny thing is that we were 5 random people w different backgrounds, and yet we managed to make it work. It was awkward in the beginning, but later we learned how each other worked and after a few forum sessions we were more open w each other. Yes i did get to know hakim, but i also got to know so much more about raja, and mirza is a person that i didnt expect when i first came here to be someone that would be cool w being friends w me.

The ridiculous thing is that it was very early in the trip that we established that both kak su and hakim werent available. I didnt know when it started, but hakim started to talk more, and i liked that he didnt mind sitting around me, he was comfortable w stuff like giving me food he couldnt finish and asking what i wanted to order (dinner is usually the time we could talk, otherwise we'd be in the car and we cant really have a one on one conversation)

Raja on the other hand couldnt stop talking

She asked weird questions, and at first it was just to me, but later i fell asleep a lot so she started asking mirza, and so it became a thing that when theyre bored they would be listening to raja's epiphanies about life

Somewhere in between the first and second week of the trip i was texting afiq a lot n he said "aku susah nak rapat dengan perempuan" so to prove to him how bad i am at making friends w guys i told him that he's the closest guy friend i ever had, so ever since that i guess we had this agreement that we were somewhat close friends and we can kinda tell each other stuff

And believe me, i tell afiq stuff i dont even tell raja

So anyway at first i was kinda happy, and we had fun talking bout stuff, but later i saw that he was chatting w raja, so i felt a bit suckish bc he said he was bad at making friends w girls, so was he just saying it for the sake of it?

So there was a time where we were staying at separate houses, the girls and boys, so we decided to go out to eat, and there wasnt anything else to do in tulsa anyway, so we sat and ate and talked for 3 hours. So i asked mirza when did he finally recognized me as "elyna" and he said actually the first time he heard of me was from afiq who told him that i knew a bunch of animes, and yea actually this was before i told him hes my closest guy friend but i just realized that this was when hakim started to talk to me more than usual

Hmm there were times when he says stuff that i was thinking, n i think i say stuff that hes thinking as well bc when it happens he kinda glanced at me weirdly in the beginning, later when weve talked to each other more we finally say things like "hey i was about to say the same thing" or something like that. Example: we were eating at a thai restaurant n the menu was kinda simple, and i was thinking to myself "ape lagi. Pad thai jela." Then mirza asked hakim what he was gonna order, and he literally said the exact same thing i was thinking. Once mirza asked for an extra bowl of rice (also a thai restaurant, but this was a lot later) and he was saying "mahal doh, 2 ringgit" then hakim asked "brape?" "2 ringgit" then i glanced at him and he glanced at me and i said "murah gak tu. 2 ringgit kalau dollar 50cent." Then we laughed and he said he was about to say the same thing.

Theres this thing during dinners that he does, starting from this gyro place, where he would want me to sit somewhere near him, like either across or next to him, probably so that he can crack jokes w me, but after awhile we ran out of things to say. So sometimes we kinda order similar things just bc. Im not sure. Sometimes he follows my lead, sometimes i follow his, then when what i wanna order is too far from what he wants he just orders wtv he wants. I guess later he realizes that im really bad at first orders haha my food always turns out not that good a dish.

Okay so if i go on and on about the trip this story will never end. Basically we had fun, for a bunch of awkwardly matched 5-some. Raja really liked opening forums and asked weird questions and one of em was what were their first thoughts of us, and hakim said that i came to his house several times to play video games so he thought he'd have that to talk about w me. Raja, he said talked way too much for his liking in the beginning, he said he would like his peace lmao. Both of them knew kak su beforehand so they didnt really think of anything. Thing is, raja actually felt hurt at hakim's comment, even tho it was evident that even if he didnt like all her talking, he wouldnt actually stop her from talking. Except there was a time we wanted to play a game in the car n he said "jom main game senyap, siape paling lama diam die menang" n we all laughed n we asked whats the prize n he said that person can get to talk for an hour n kak su said lets let hakim win so that he has to talk for an hour. I take too much time explaining details ugh.

So for the next day after that confession by hakim raja didnt talk to hakim at all. She literally asked everyone what their glasses power were except hakim. I laughed at him quietly in sympathy. But later she was okay w him again. Just that whenever he talked to her she would complain to me.

She also complained that hakim took a long time to follow raja back on instagram but for me it was on the same night. I said it was bc i followed him when i saw that he was on ig, but she said she saw him going on ig after she requested to follow him but he hadnt approved.

Also both raja and kak su knows i like hakim since before the trip.

It was in new orleans that i really felt like he was making me expect too much from him. He wanted to buy a hot dog for himself, but kak su n raja were sharing, n i didnt want one whole hot dog, so he ended up sharing w me, n he even followed me to the counter when i ordered, n it really made me happy, my heart was bursting, thats the only way i can explain it.

So after that everything was rather mediocre. I theorized a pattern in his ig picture liking in which he would like pictures i post that did not include myself in it, except one. After we got home i kinda felt that feeling of "so thats it?"

But it wasnt. My housemates were saying i couldnt move on, but it really wasnt something to move on from. 3 weeks of just them gave me a lifetime of memories. So when I went out w raja on the sunday before classes start, i guess i shouldnt have been surprised whem raja confessed that she has a crush on mirza.

She went on and on about how they had been talking ever since the morning after we arrived home, and all i could talk about was how i felt like hakim treated me like something more than just another girl, n raja said she saw it too, n i couldnt hold on to those feelings bc he has a gf.

Talking about his gf, throwback to new orleans, second night, 1am. It was just me, mirza and raja, n before mirza had mentioned that hakim's gf went to mirza's mrsm before he got there, so he kinda knew who she was, n he told us that night that the girl's previous boyfriend wasnt like hakim at all, so he was surprised. So me n raja were making all kinds of conclusions. Maybe hakim came into the picture right after mimi, the gf just broke up w her prev bf so she was more accepting of him. Maybe mirza didnt really like the girl. Maybe the circumstances of their relationship is not as it appears, but theyve been together for 3 years, and for 2 of those years hakim was in the states n she's back home, so who r we to say if their relationship is good or not? Speculation wasnt even decent, but we speculated anyway.

But yea semester started n in the first week the only time i saw hakim was through a snap of him sleeping in between classes. Raja was moving into our apartment, bc 2 of my housemates were graduating, so she was taking over one of the leases. When hakim found out he was like "alaa nnti jumpa raja dalam bas." N raja was half kidding when she said "okay la kalau jumpa dalam bas aku tak tegur kau".

On that sunday afiq was being real weird. He's close to one of my housemates, one that i havent revealed until now, kak sj, n i dont know if it has anything to do w her graduating. she was the one who told me to ask him to help w the table n she invited him over several times to cook w her. But he was asking me if i had classes he could join in n in the first week, i saw him every week day. We talked a lot about mso n classes n common interests. One day i was saying youre old afiq, and you havent even confessed to ur crush, whatre u gonna do? Then he told me that hes actually confessed to her, a month ago. I was so surprised. I mean, if it really was a month ago, it had to be someone from my batch, probably, n it couldnt have been anyone but raja? But i didnt wanna assume, so i offered a trade - my crush for yours. So he told me about confessing to raja, n i told him about hakim.

That night we talked on the phone for almost 2 hours about feelings and shit. I was pretty dumbfounded. He confessed to raja before the trip, and she kept that from me all the while, i know its probably not my business, but i wonder if she thought it was better that i didnt know? Bc she tells me almost everything about her life, n i tell her almost everything about mine, so why this secret?

I couldnt keep all this to myself. The night before kak tipah's flight home, i told her everything. She said that she shipped mirza w raja, n me w afiq. I told her that me n afiq cant be more than friends, especially not now. And imagine, im actually one of the last ones to know about this confession. Both of them must know that i felt left out? Kak tipah asked, if afiq suddenly told me he likes me, what would i do? I said i probably wouldnt accept him, bc i feel like im just the second option. Then she asked, what if he confessed to me, not raja? Then i said i probably wouldnt accept him immediately, but eventually.

I also felt that afiq's confession was off in timing- it was way too early. We hadnt been here for even 6 months, we barely know everyone in mso, u really couldnt expect her to have accepted him immediately. But later afiq did say that he didnt expect anything from her, he just wanted to know that he likes her. One of the things that we mentioned during the 2 hour talk was what was his previous girlfriends like, n he said him n his friends concluded that there were 3 main components in the girls he liked; 1. Wears glasses 2. Is introverted and 3. Has common interests w him. I was being so slick at not pointing out that all these descriptions fit me, but instead i avoided it by comparing it to raja, n she only wears glasses at night, is extremely extroverted, n common interests w her is very general.

But yea, he dropped out of the classes he was planning to take w me, but we still talked a lot about stuff, n two wednesdays ago i went to his house for fun, n it was hakim's turn to cook, n i think that was the third time this semester i saw him, n he invited me to eat and said "makanla, aku masak untuk kau kot" n it was a happy moment, even if i knew he was just kidding. Later all his housemates left me n afiq to our geeking out session.

The first time i saw him in the semester was during an mso gathering. We didnt talk. The second time i saw him, i didnt actually see him, altho he probably saw me. Raja had been complaining about meeting hakim on buses n being awkward about it, so one day I was helping raja move her stuff, n we were carrying big plastic bags of pillows onto a bus. Raja mentioned beforehand that she hopes she doesnt see any malaysians, n especially not hakim. The bus we got on was rather crowded, so me n raja had to sit separately. I wanted to sit at the back, but it was too much effort to squeeze in, so i just sat somewhere in the middle. When we were almost home, raja kept giving me signals, but i didnt get it. As soon as we got off, raja went all "DAH CAKAP DAH. MULUT AKU NI MASIN SANGAT." So hakim was on that bus, n i didnt even notice him, even after all my previous efforts to get on a bus w him, when i finally did i didnt even see him. I probably did, but i didnt recognize it was him. Raja kept complaining about it but i was just frustrated, so she ended up pissing me off.

Okay so one day i told him that i had a theory for why he likes raja, a girl who doesnt fit the usual description, n it was bc he didnt want to get broken hearted by girls who are as such again, so he opted for someone who's different, bc srsly his exgf treats him like they never came around to broke his heart so thats mean, but it was also a hint i was giving that he should probably stick to being friends w me so that he wont get broken hearted again, but he was all "hahahah you just made my day" and it was bittersweet

This whole thing is bittersweet- liking hakim is, too. Bc i feel like he's someone who treats me better than he treats raja, n that feels so good, even if it sounds mean, but when was the last time i ever felt like i was someone who was preferred over another girl?

Back to the story, things kinda got lost in between my own life of working and classes and doing design stuff for mso n never doing what they want me to do, so when raja suggested we made a batch gathering in our new house, i thought it was an awesome idea bc i havent hung out w kids in my batch for awhile now, n after having a short lunch w one of em the other day i realized that theyve been spending their time living their lives awesomely as well, n i kinda wanna hear all about it.

So yeaa after many discussions on when we should do it n whos free when we finally decided to do it last friday night. Thing is, that morning was my first shift ever, so right after i had to go buy stuff to replenish the household resources. when i was on my bus home, i saw afiq somewhere near the bus driver. I waved at him, hating to sit in front bc those r usually reserved seats n i dont like hesitating to stand up to offer an older person the seat, so i went all the way to the back w my bags of groceries n there he was, abdul hakim bin zazli.

When he saw me he asked "pegi meijer ke?" And i said yea and our conversation stopped there. I was wearing earphones, but he wasnt, but he was looking at his phone. Afiq messaged me "have fun" n i hated him. After awhile i noticed he wasnt really on his phone, he was just bored n that was his escapade, as usual, a habit of his ive noticed since the trip. So I wanted to make conversation, but when i called out "kim" he wasnt responding so i looked away, but suddenly he turned to me but i was already looking somewhere else, so he didnt say anything. He didnt say bye, but after walking a bit i noticed afiq turning around n grinning at the bus. I still hate him.

So that night was pretty awesome. Even most of the guys came. All the girls came. It was tiring having to make sure there was always food for the guests n that they werent bored, but everyone was pretty chill n i loved it. My batch is pretty awesome. I think one of the best feelings after thinking that u suck at befriending guys is having guys laugh at your jokes. intec guys sucked. period.

Saturday night. I was supposed to be studying for a monday exam. Suddenly afiq asked if i wanted to play left4dead2, which is a game we casually play together w sal, a chill sarawak girl who i have a friend crush on (she loves video games too n owns a ps4). We also managed to get mirza to play w us. After losing one round too many times, mirza quit n the cpu sort of saved our ass. It was 2am n we were still talking while doing our own shit. I have a feeling us 3 would make a pretty awesome trio.

Anyway i ended up being the last one sleeping bc i was editing jongup's bday video, but they all said they'd wanna come over to the ceramics studio to play clay from my wheel throwing class. So the next morning i told them it was pretty empty, so sal came n made an awesome mug for a first timer. She had fun. Afiq had a meeting so we met up w him for pizza after, then he came back to the studio w me bc he wanted to play w clay too. He told me that hakim brought the car to campus, so if i still had a lot of work to do n would probably miss the last bus at 5.30 i could ask him. So i did. He said he was going back at 10, n afiq didnt wanna go back that late, so he ended up have someone pick him up at 7. At 9, hakim was in front of the art building.

I keep forgetting to tell u guys that raja has met hakim on buses several times but he wouldnt talk to her, or like, he ignored her, which was something he did even to me before the trip, which is why when he talked to me first on friday, it felt great really. But raja hated it. She questioned it - why does hakim talk to me but not her? Why is he the only person she knows who wouldnt talk to her? I guess what she hated was his ego, but it also made it sound like she wants everyone on earth to love her, n i couldnt really stand that. But i didnt say a thing.

So when he initiates conversation during that what felt so short trip home, i was happy. As i described it to raja, it was a give n take. He would ask a question then talk n I would ask a question then talk n we were still cracking jokes when we were at the front door of my apartment. Unlike afiq who likes long goodbye n attachment, hakim's goodbyes were short n sweet, n i wonder why he's so chill w me, n some parts of me says that he probably thinks i have something going on w afiq, n i kinda hate that.

-tbc-