#like in a ‘oh my god I cant believe I’m marrying you this is happening omg’ way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myszumizu · 2 years

Note

Hello I saw that your box was open and would like to request a either noctyx or luxiem accidental relationship reveal.

Where reader or the members accidentally reveal their relationship on stream. I like the cute reactions of the boys getting flustered or shocked.

Hope you like it

THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING <33 , and thank you guys for the support on my last post!! I CANT BELIEVE THERE WAS OVER A HUNDRED LIKES! THANK YOUUUUU!

gn!reader, fluff

HOW NOCTYX WOULD ACCIDENTALLY REVEAL YOUR RELATIONSHIP

ALBAN

. it just slipped out

. while alban tries his absolute best to keep your relationship hidden, he would eventually let the cat out of the bag

. happens when y’all were doing a collab

. probably when playing minecraft

. it was nighttime and you two were still out doing whatever

. you came into contact with a zombie and because you had just respawned, you did not have any of your loot and could not defend yourself

. “ALBAN, HELP! THERE’S AN UGLY ZOMBIE HITTING MEEEE!”

. “OMG, BABE! NOOOOO! HOW DARE YOU KILL MY LOVE!”

. yeah, you died

. and alban just revealed your relationship

. double fucked

. chat goes wild and the mods are panicking behind screen

. “alban you idiot.”

. “eh? what?”

. “YOU JUST REVEALED OUR RELATIONSHIP!”

. after a bit of processing, alban goes “OH SHIT.”

. he panics and gets all red-faced

. cue you hitting alban with your fists

. but it all turned out alright

. now alban can call you babe whenever he wants

. that’s a win i guess

FULGUR

. the moment y’all got together, he would have already dropped hints about your relationship

. acts like you two are a married couple 24/7

. chat asks a lot if you two are together but fulgur always gives an ambiguous answer

. but one fateful day, the truth is revealed

. you were over at fulgur’s house just to chill

. he had a stream scheduled

. while he was streaming, you were in the background on your phone

. suddenly, you had to get up to go get something

. as you were walking, you accidentally tripped and fell with a thud

. obviously, this alerted your boyfriend and he instinctively turned to find you on the ground, groaning in pain

. without hesitation, he goes, “oh god baby are you alright?”

. to which you replied, “yeah yeah i’m fine.”

. right after you said that, you realised what you’ve just done

. chat heard your voice and within seconds, the entire chat is flooded with comments

. “oh fuck, you’re streaming fulgur.”

. “shoot.”

. tries to change the topic but fails miserably because he’s so flustered

. the suspicions were confirmed

. [name] x fulgur is real

. “hehe, sorry [name] but now everyone knows you’re mine.”

. oh fulgur, they knew LONG ago

SONNY

. now, chat doesn’t suspect that you two are “together together”

. but they do suspect that there is some hidden feelings going on behind that screen

. i think how sonny would reveal your relationship would be by pure accident

. sonny was about to begin a stream

. however, he left his mic unmuted

. a very common mistake made by many streamers

. you just so happened to be at his house

. and you were also unaware of the fact that sonny had left his mic unmuted

. you were bringing food and water to sonny before his stream started

. “handsome taichou, here’s your food.”

. “ah, thank you love.”

. chat instantly recognises your voice

. chat overload

. at this point, you guys were still oblivious to everything happening

. “[name], can you give me a quick kiss before i officially start the stream?”

. obviously you give him the kiss

. when sonny started the stream, he was puzzled as to why the chat was so active

. after reading through the comments, he mentally facepalmed

. “[n-name], i left my mic unmuted. chat heard everything.”

. well, now you don’t have anything to hide

. good job sonny

UKI

. definitely reveals it when y’all stream

. okay so, most, if not all, of the nijisanji en members (professor included hehe) would have already known about your relationship

. you were doing another among us mega-collab and you were the imposter along with elira and reimu

. the only imposter left was you and you had already killed someone else, meaning you only had to eliminate one other person in order for you to win

. you had been following uki around for quite some time, waiting for the cooldown

. when it finally cooldowned, you went straight for the kill

. the game ends and all of you come together again

. uki is malding

. “[NAME], FUCK YOU! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? IM YOUR BOYFRIEND! HOW COULD YOU, YOU CHEATER!”

. everyone goes dead silent

. “oh wait shit. nononononono.”

. “uki…”

. suddenly, everyone bursts out laughing, leaving a stunned you and an embarrassed uki

. after a few seconds, both you and uki regain your composure

. “okay [name], now that EVERYONE knows, can we fu-“

. “uki.”

. of course we can uki

YUGO

. his would be a very unique case

. at least i think it’s unique

. yugo was busy composing yet another song that was inspired by you

. now, he was writing the lyrics based off what he felt

. he was streaming this as well and didn’t notice that the lyrics he wrote was basically telling the tales about your relationship

. the lyrics were very genuine

. no names were mentioned until something unexpected happened

. “ah thank you for the superchat! ‘i really like the lyrics to this song! was there any inspirations?’ [name] of course! this was all about them!”

. yugo was so excited to talk about you he didn’t process what he said

. he continued to talk before finally realising that he had just revealed your relationship

. his eyes widened and he immediately went, “WAIT THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

. too late yugo, chat already knows

. “AHH [NAME], IM SORRYYYY!”

. you were already in chat and took in a deep sigh

. you joined the call and hear a sniffling yugo

. “it’s okay yugo, now we don’t have anything to hide.”

. yeah it’s alright yugo

. now chat knows how much you love [name]

#myszumizu posted 💦#nocticks #noctyx #x reader #noctyx x reader #nijisanji en #nijisanji x reader

920 notes · View notes

thesunicarusfellfor · 3 years

Text

Mortal of Gold - Part 3

(Yandere!C!Techno x GN!Shy!Reader x Yandere!C!Philza)

Anyone want my list of the characters as gods? There were a few characters that I couldn't think of like Ponk, so I just left them out. ANYWAY. Hi, how's it going? ALSO I CANT EDIT THIS DAMN POST AND THE SPELLING ERRORS ARE SO IRRITATING

Part 1 Part 2 TW: Mention of amnesia, memories being altered Send me a message via inbox if you wanna be added to a general or series tag list. Make sure to turn off anon, please. ------- “They weren’t born… A mortal?”

A light wind brushed over your features, causing you to give a small sigh and roll over onto your side in an attempt to block the light from hitting your lidded eyes. It was nice and quiet for once… “(Y/n)?” A distorted voice echoed softly, causing you to flinch a bit. You opened your eyes slightly to see a silky blackbird sitting on the sheets beside you, a few golden trinkets laying beside it. Upon seeing your eyes slide open, the creature hopped up onto its legs and began making soft cooing noises, “(Y/n)! (Y/n), you’re awake!” Glancing around at the surroundings you had been placed in, racking your mind for any sort of familiarity but failing to come up with anything at all, even who you were. You sat up, slowly brushing your fingers along your ombre silk clothing before putting your hands on the sheets below your body, frowning as you didn’t recognize the bed as yours. “Hello…” You murmured softly, reaching your hand out to the crow who eagerly jumped forward to nuzzle your hand. The feathers of the bird felt… Odd. They felt more like grabbing at misty fog, but with a light staticky cotton texture that caused a buzzing sensation on your fingertips, “I’m sorry, my memory… Seems to be a tad faulty… Could you tell me your name?” “I’m Chat, Dadza- er… Philza’s familiar! I was a gift from Mumza, oops... Kristen, the Goddess of Void and Death.” It chirped, its voice having multiple layers in your head, causing you to shake your head a slight bit, “No, they’re not married, only parental figures to the souls that pass on to the afterlife or those they saved sometime before they passed on… I believe they have more of a co-worker relationship.” You nodded slightly, pursing your lips at how the creature’s voice sounded in your mind. It was unsettling and caused shivers to crawl up and down your back, but at the same time, it was incredibly calming and had a soothing aura. How that worked, you had no clue whatsoever. Brushing off the unsettling voice of the bird, you decided to focus on the name that caused a light to go off in your head, “Alright… Philza… I think I remember that name…” “Yeah! Dadza- Eck… Sorry. Phil, he’s the God of Survival and Crows! He controls not only every crow in the mortal land, but he also controls whether or not someone will survive a situation. If there is no way that the mortal can survive, he will send a crow down and have them guide the soul of the mortal to him! Then he escorts them to Kristen! He has gained the name Angel of Death because he works for Mumza!” You decided not to question why the crow called Philza and Kristen Mumza and Dadza, knowing that you’d probably find out later, but by the sound of it Chat seemed to be multiple children, “Okay… Makes sense…” You mumbled slowly, nodding your head up and down. With a sigh you slowly brought your legs over to the side of the bed, only now becoming aware of how large the soft mattress was. Lowlands! (Hell) You could probably fit six people who were ten feet tall in it with room to roam! Pushing yourself off the bed, you also realized how high the beautiful bed was off the floor, Gods, whoever lived here was tall! Behind you, you heard a small chirp, and you saw Chat watching you curiously. With a small shrug, you decided to pick the familiar up and hold it in your cupped hands as you walked out the door, “Oooh! Dadza never carries us like this, and Technoblade does only when he’s about to yeet us out a window!” “Yeet?” You scowled in confusion as you walked through the arched doorway, your bare feet padding silently on the quartz flooring, “I'm scared to ask. Technoblade? Is he also a god of some things? He sounds familiar as well…” “That’s its word for throwing something. Well, it yells the word when they throw something or get thrown, so I assume it’s yelling in excitement,” A deep voice spoke from in front of you, causing you to gasp and lift your head from the crow. The telepathic chirping and squeaks from Chat in your mind quickly formed the name Technoblade, so… You had a feeling that your answer was on its way past his

lips, “I’m Technoblade, or Techno, the God of Blood and War. It’s… nice to see you finally awake…” He shifted awkwardly on his feet as you curiously studied him. His appearance could certainly be described as godly if anyone asked you. His long pink hair was mostly twisted and tied into a braid with bits of golden chain and a polished golden crown adorned with rubies, garnets and diamonds. Upon his pale skin, dozens of scars of varying sizes decorated his skin in different areas, but they were displayed in an almost proud manner. Almost. When he spoke, his dark pink eyes hidden behind cracked glasses searched your form for any sort of injury, “I’m… (Y/n)... I think. I don’t know if this bird is exactly trustworthy in its information… Do you know where I am?” Techno snorted as Chat gave an offended squawk at your statement, “That’s very fair, to be honest. You’re in the Tundra of the Upperlands, and this is my palace. No there is no snow, I believe the person who named this place has never looked into the name or word Tundra, but it’s been like this for too long to change it-” He paused for a moment as he noticed you looking extremely confused, “Ah. Right. Desert. Don’t worry about it.” “Oh… Okay…” You frowned at the tusked male for a moment before shaking your head, deciding not to question it much, “Now, uh… How did I get here, and why don’t I remember anything about myself? Or, about you and this Philza guy, I was told about.” You lifted Chat slightly toward Techno as a silent indication that Chat was the one who told you about Phil. “That’s uh… Phil’s field of expertise.” He rubbed the back of his head with his black-tipped fingers before adjusting his crown, “I don’t understand much of what happened, and Phil will tell you what you need to know that will keep you safe.” Hesitantly, he held his free hand out towards you making you realize that he was easily over seven and a half feet tall, “C’mon, I’ll take you to him and get you the answers you need.” His hand was extremely steady, you noticed as you stared down at it cautiously. Once you noticed that he didn’t seem to want to do you harm, you slowly shifted Chat into one hand and used your free hand to take the one extended to you, which you couldn’t help but notice, made Technoblade very happy, “Okay. Thank you.” The god held your hand in his calloused one for a few moments before beginning to lead you down the tan and white hallways that were turned a light golden hue from the rising sun. It was quite a long walk filled with a slightly uncomfortable silence, but you distracted yourself by looking around the palace curiously. It was obvious he was the God of War by how many swords hanging on walls and sets of armour he had placed on armour stands in the hallways. Eventually, he walked you through an archway that led into a wide-open room with multiple windows that had many crows perched on the windowsills, some chirping and singing some little tune in perfect unison while others shuffled around, seeming to do a little dance. You were quick to realize the whistling of one of the birds didn’t match up and noticed that it was coming from the man with the large white and green striped hat as well as massive black feathered wings dangling on his back, fluffing themselves up every so often. When you and Techno stepped in, the blackbirds started chirping loudly, losing the rhythm of the tune the winged man was whistling as Chat started telepathically squealing about… 2/4? Two out of four what? “Ah!” The hat-wearing male turned around and clasped his hands together upon seeing you standing up, “(Y/n), you’re awake. I was worried the injuries you sustained were enough to keep you out cold for a few more weeks. I’m glad to see I was wrong. I’m Philza, God of Survival and Crows, and I see you’ve met Chat and Techno. Pesky bird, I told it not to wake you...” You pursed your lips for a moment, analyzing the shorter god as the bird squealed out its protests. While he was shorter than Techno, he was certainly tall, standing roughly around six feet tall, his wingspan

probably double that for each wing! His blonde hair was long around his face but was pulled into a loose braid like Techno’s was, although instead of gold intertwined into his hair, it was silver. His outfit was made up of a loose green shirt and black pants, with a red heart-shaped pendant dangling off of a chain into the center of his chest. Why did that pendant… Look familiar? You slowly rose your hand up and clasped at the pendant around your neck, noticing how Philza smiled softly, “Technoblade… Said you could tell me why I can’t remember anything?” “You’re still wearing my gift, I see,” Philza gave a soft hum as Chat jumped from your hand and onto his shoulder, before gesturing for you and Techno to take a seat where he already had drinks and some form of cakes set out, but they certainly weren’t there when you came in. Upon seeing your confused blinking, he gave a soft laugh, “I’m a god, mate, magic is no difficult task for me, let alone creating some measly tea and desserts. Now, sit down and I will tell you everything…” - General - None Mortal of Gold -@generalalmond @binas-idea-vault @ohworm-writes

#philza x reader #technoblade x reader #techno x reader #yandere philza x reader #yandere technoblade x reader #mcyt #mcyt x reader #yandere mcyt #dream smp #dream smp x reader #technoblade dream smp #philza dream smp #technoblade dreamsmp #philza dreamsmp #phil dream smp #phil dreamsmp #mcyt au #dsmp #mcyt god au

1K notes · View notes

delicrieux · 4 years

Text

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand)

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it.

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge.

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too.

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view.

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”.

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute.

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets.

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance.

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?”

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over.

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae.

looking hot, her message read.

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse social media au #corpse husband fanfic #social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse x y/n #corpse husband fic #reader #xreader #imagine #imagines #myso #make you say oh

2K notes · View notes

ijustliketoreadstuff · 2 years

Text

Feri Gonzalez interview part 3: Felix in season 4 and the LGBT couples

The translator finished the third part to Feri’s interview, just as before, the translator gave everyone permission to post their translations on other social media pages..

Interviewer: There's a key word you mentioned about how the characters are humanized and well, there's something interesting I saw in the fandom about the final episode (of season 3), and its that many, despite knowing fully well its going to be Marinette and Adrien, they don't like the idea of these new ships that even Thomas Astruc had commented on stating its Luka and Marinette, Kagami and Adrien. I keep wondering about ,or rather, this is something I have commented on in a previous podcast, and its that these are young people of about 15 to 16 years old , meaning they are just barely starting to understand what love is.

Feri Gonzalez: Exactly

Interviewer: So then its impossible to, assuming you want a consistent series, to see them at 16 years old, to find someone, get married to them and spend the rest of their lives with them, that is...that doesn't happen, one doesn't just find someone that easily.

Feri Gonzalez: Well yes, to me it was more natural to, or rather its odd to, that is I'm not saying it doesn't happen because it can happen, but its very weird for you to end up with your first love, that is to say, the majority of people will go through their second, third or fourth love, then you find the right one and settle with them, to me that's more realistic. And for me personally, I went through a situation similar to Marinette, I had a boy friend when I was younger in high school, we dated for a while but for reasons we broke up , then I had another boy friend and without any details, we broke up because it simply didn't workout with my second boyfriend. And then I ended up getting back together with my first boyfriend and now I'm engaged to him.

interviewer: Awww :)

Feri Gonzalez: That's why to me, what's going on with Luka and Marinette is very natural, because Adrien was her first love, but it wasn't going to work, which is why that moment(final seen of season 3) with all the others made sense. That person will help her grow, because for me, even though I didn't end up with him(second boyfriend), I learned to be better, I learned what to look for in the person I would love etc.. You learn because you learn and so Marinette will learn from Luka and if they say Adrienette is endgame then I think she will go back to having a crush on him even though its going to be more difficult for her now that she sees she's the guardian. It will be interesting to see how this dynamic will change now that she's the guardian and has more responsibilities, how is she going to react to him, how is she going to pursue him, she's the guardian now, she cant reveal herself , she cant tell them who she is, it will be interesting to see how this will effect the story.

Interviewer: Now we would like to talk about a matter that was really , it was a bit of a surprise in the season, this happened mid season, it was this ship that was kind of broken out and I liked it a lot because it was a bit surprising but satisfying knowing Nathaniel, who I was really hoping would get a miraculous and get a ship, in the end he ended up in a ship and it was with this character who we were introduced to, named Marc. And I really like how in the finale, even though some don't believe it, it did end up with quite a bit of fame on the internet and ended up as a bit of a symbol in the series. Of all the the other series you have introduced to us towards the LGBT community, it was in fact something Thomas Astruc confirmed.

Feri gonzalez: Yes, in facts its really funny and thank goodness he confirmed it because, oh my god. In the past I already knew Nathaniel and Marc were going to be a couple, that is, they already told me it was, and a lot of people have asked, "Feri are they a couple?, are they a couple?!", because well, Thomas already said there would be LGBT character, and some of those protagonists were Marc and Nathaniel. And I said they were, but some didn't believe me and doubted it saying, "no, no, their just friends", because I don't even know why. I think if they don't see people kiss, then they don't think their gay. No, I always knew and I always saw it in the show, you need to pay attention, you can criticize what you want, but many takes are very deliberate, that is to say, a lot of the things background characters do are very planned out if you pay close attention, you'll notice anytime Nathaniel or Marc appear, even if they don't speak a word, they are always together, their absolutely always together. In fact in the season 3 finale, when all of them are paired up, there's Marc and Nathaniel!.

Interviewer: Yes Yes, there they are! XD

Feri Gonzalez: I mean, Max and Alex confused the whole world, I'm confused to, so I don't have an answer for the situation between Max and Alix, I'm just as confused as you are. But Marc and Nathaniel, anytime they pass by, its very deliberate, as well as anytime their mentioned...Oh!, I think it was in "Party Crasher", they mention Nathaniel can't come because he's with Marc, I don't know, I think it was something about them mentioning how he was working with Marc. I can't remember exactly what episode it was but even if these characters don't do anything, the other characters will tell you , "no Marc and Nathaniel...", they always hinted them as a couple, the thing is it's one of those things the people need to learn to understand. One would want to include other ideas right?

interviewer: mhm(yes)

Feri Gonzalez: Buuuuut the other channels are always, "you know what, can you get rid of that cause my demographic is etc. etc....trash it!" I don't even know what. Steven Universe has a lot of freedom, they are lucky to have so much freedom, Cartoon Network is very open, they allow them to do a lot of things, thank the heavens...but that's not the case for Miraculous Ladybug ok, because with Steven Universe its just about cartoon network, but Miraculous Ladybug its more about other channels, that is to say, its not just about Zag, its Disney, its TF1, it's all of them! There's so many companies involved, its not like Steven Universe which is only Cartoon Network. Every company will tell you, "get rid of this, change that, I don't think blah blah blah" and Disney wants this and I don't know, but some want that and so you have to balance everything out. There's things you have to change and there's things you have to be more subtle about, and one of those things are the LGBT couples, because in certain countries, like Russia and others like them, are super super censored about all of it, that is, you really need to think a lot about, "How much can I put in without them censoring the whole show?", so that's why they keep Nathaniel, Marc and Rose and Juleka super super subtle. In fact, the strongest hint towards Juleka and Rose was in "Zombizou", when their all in the bus. A lot of people noticed, but a lot of other people said, "No, it was just a friend thing", no no no.

Interviewer: Hahaha!

Feri Gonzalez: take a look at where Juleka has her hand when rose gets zombified, she has it over her mouth because rose kissed her on the lips, why the lips? because they like each other, simple as that. So you see, its all deliberate, even when Rose and Juleka are holding each others hands, when they hug, how their always together, and sure you can confuse it as them just being best friends, but I think they've made it deliberate enough to point in the other direction and say there's more going on there.

Interviewer: In the case between Marc and Nathaniel, I'll stick to what you told me, that "its not necessary to show them kissing, to show they are a couple" and in fact to me it was really well framed to not see them so much and just see them off camera just together in general, because i feel they are very reserved characters, their not very extroverted characters. So I feel they prefer looking more towards their privacy but are a very open couple in that final scene. And I like how, a lot of people became protective of Nathaniel.

Feri Gonzales: Yes, I find that very interesting, and now that we are heading forward, I feel its become super obvious that at some point we will see them as heroes, so I think it will be very interesting to see how their dynamic changes, or if there will be some kind of change, that is, what are we going to see next?. Because well, we already know that, for example, Juleka will be the tiger, we already know Rose will be the pig, not sure who else I'm forgetting, but they appear in the opening and I think its become rather obvious the others will get one to, because those miraculous have to go to someone, that is to say, they didn't add 12 miraculous to the show just for laughs.

Interviewer: Hahaha seriously

Feri Gonzalez: They have a purpose being there and so I feel we will eventually see them and I want to see how the dynamic changes, what Nathaniel and Marc's reaction will be. I mean, Nathaniel I think will take it very well because he's always drawn himself like a hero, so I think Nathaniel will be a very cool hero, he will have all the willingness to be a hero but it will be interesting to see how Marc deals with it because Mark is timid, so it will be interesting how his way of being works with the miraculous, so yeah, I'm really more interested in those two as we move forward, yes.

Interviewer: I'm very interested to haha :D. And speaking of future topics, we're almost coming to the episodes "Felix" and "Cat Blanc"(a few parts of the world had not yet premiered these episodes along with the rest of season 3) , and well...I feel a lot of emotions about these episodes, but for all the people who are not following you on twitter like me and so many others, but will obviously start following you after this video, but in any case, could you give them a message without any spoilers? what message can you give them despite not following you, just to get them hyped? because you honestly give so many messages on twitter to make peoples hype explode XD. And so I was wondering if you could share that with the episodes "Felix" and "Cat Blanc", and so, what message could you give them? maybe a word or a sentence?

Feri Gonzalez: Well, Cat blanc is going to be a bit stronger, as for the character well....Adrien fans, Cat Noir fans, hold on tight because....poor thing, that episode is going to hit him hard in the end. We are going to notice a lot of interesting things, I think you do need to emotionally prepare yourselves to see Adrien in a different light. And in terms of Felix well...what I will say is, don't judge the introduction, expect to learn more about Felix, I mean, the episode is good, it has a lot of information nuggets for the story. Obviously Felix is coming back and he's going to be a very interesting character to see on screen, so do not judge the introduction. It makes me laugh so much because when Felix first premiered people were all, "I hate Felix! he's so ugly, why is he so ugly?!", he looks like Adrien but with his hair brushed to the side!

Interviewer: HAHAHA! he looks exactly the same! XD

Feri Gonzalez: it was like his mom did his hair using her wetted hand and done, except its on someone like Adrien, and Adrien is cute so don't come and attack me, but Its just that stinginess with a change, the change hits them.

Interviewer: hahaha! the message they want to give is, "its not the same as the PV"

Feri gonzale: God, and he's not even ugly and then they get into how he doesn't look like the Felix from the PV, "Oh, I wanted him to have blue eye!" and I'm like, so what!, his blue eyes don't change anything, it doesn't effect his character, but there is a reason why he looks so much like Adrien, there's a very logical explanation why he looks so much like Adrien, that's why they had to make them look the same, right down to their eyes. The thing that people don't understand is that the Felix of the series is not exactly the same as the Felix of the PV. Thomas already told us that the peoples idea of the PV is completely wrong, Thomas explained the Felix of the PV was a bad character, in fact Hawkmoth wasn't even his dad, but he was a bad guy who was only interested in kissing ladybug so he could get rid of his curse

Interviewer: yes the curse

Feri Gonzalez: He couldn't take off his ring, and he couldn't take it off until he got a kiss from ladybug, that's why ladybug kept getting chased around by cat, but in reality he didn't like ladybug, Felix was meant to be a bad character. And now over here, this new Felix still has that evil trait, but he still has his moments were he is a mama's boy. Lets say he has his own agenda, and he has his own vision of what's right and what's not, and so he does whatever he needs to do to accomplish that agenda. And maybe some of his actions can be perceived as evil, Like what he does with Adrien when he dresses up as him and all that, but he could also in other moments, do something good. So that's why I say don't judge him just yet. In fact, I think I sent out a tweet as a joke where I said I can already imagine all of you hating Felix, and then in season 4, all of you are going to be all, "I love Felix!, I always liked him, I'm team Felix". It happened before the episode aired but it did happen, that is to say, my prophecy came true, people changed their opinions.

Just as I said, you saw two sides to Felix, on one side he's a mama's boy and on the other he's an interesting character who has his secrets, who has his motives, he's got his clever little smartass walk, I love it, it's a very interesting character. Many people who read what they want say, "oh gross, its a guy Lila", and its like, its not really like that entirely, I mean yeah he manipulates, he lies occasionally , but to me he's a bit more neutral than Lila because not everything he does is bad, that is to say, when he does something bad its usually towards someone who deserves it, or rather, its usually towards someone who Felix believes deserve it. We have to look at things from the characters point of view , because in his own head, he thinks what he is doing is right ok. And so that's why I say, look at Felix with an open mind and don't judge just yet, wait until season 4, this is just his introduction, Felix has a specific motive in this episode and he will show he will have others. Don't believe you know him just because you watched the episode "Felix", because that episode will show various aspects of him but that's not all that he is, and so its very important for the story, for you to know Felix.

links to other parts of interview:

part 1: here

part 2: here

part 4: here

part 5: here

part 6: here

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #mlb #mlb season 3 #mlb season 4 #nathaniel kurtzberg #marc anciel #marcanciel #marc and nathaniel #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #mlb ladybug #cat noir #luka couffaine #kagami tsurugi #viperion #mlb ryuko #felix graham de vanily #lila rossi

81 notes · View notes

ushiwakaout · 4 years

Note

I-bRO your what the Haikyuu bois would say is so awesome! Could I request that but for Kuroo? I'm literally such a simp for the roosterhead! Thanks so much ♡

Thank you 🥺 that means a lot.

i love kuroo 😖 i hate fannon kuroo ngl, so many people think he’s a sex god (well even cannon kuroo is probably a sex god once he figures out how to work his willy but u know) and he’s honestly just a dumb chem nerd.

Let us just say that you work for him as a personal assisten

Warnings: HAIYUUU TIMESKIP

“Hey, honey... Breakfast is ready.” (5:00 am)

“No dont worry, i didnt make it... You know I cant cook to save my life.”

“I just went down the street to buy you a coffee and some sweet bread.”

“You always wake up earlier than I do to get me something, so i just thought to repay you back...”

“Why do you always think there is a catch?”

“Fine, you caught me... I need you to help me make an itinerarie for our upcoming not-so-vacation, vacation.”

“I would have told you yesterday but we where, busy~”

“Ow! Do not hit me, I’m your boss.”

You: “More the reason!”

“More the reason my ass, hurry up and get ready, we gotta get to the office.”

“Oh yeah, we also have meetings all day today so wear something comfortable.”

“You ready to go?” (6:30 am)

“Give me a little twirl baby.”

*will slap you ass when you pass him to leave your home*

*he is def laughing past you and you’re like alright bet*

you: “Hey baby come here, give me a kiss”

“Oh now you wanna give me a kiss, you gotta reach for it, honey ~ ”

*you pull on his tie so he’s at level for a kiss but you only give him a peck before giving his ass a good smack and running to the passanger side of his car*

“Hey! Get back here, I want a decent kiss!”

“Who tought you how to smack so hard?”

“Me? I would never~”

“Come on give me a good kiss.”

“I’m gonna park the car, you go ahead and get a head start without me.”(7:30 am)

you: “What took you so long?”

“What do you mean what took me so long, I was getting you flowers”

*gives you the bouque of flowers and kiss on the cheek*

“Duh honey~”

“Stop blushing and lets get to work.” (8:00 am)

“Have you seen my pen?”

“Can you go get me some water?”

“Come on give me a kiss before we get to the next meeting.”

“Hey, just because their an assistant doesn’t mean you get to boss them around like that.”

“Says who? You ’re fucking boss and her husband you dibshit- get out my office and I want you to apologize, but don’t you dare look in their eyes because a low life like you doesn’t deserve to.”

“Oh and ask her to come back in, will you?”

“Hey honey, is it lunch yet?”

you: “You did not have to be so rude...”

“Didn’t have to be rude, my ass. No one gets to talk down to you like that- not even me... Well, I do... But only if you want me too~”

*he do be leaning in for a kiss but you shove your hand onto his face*

you: “Whatchu want for lunch Testu and do not say me because I will quit.”

“Awe.. Honey you’re no fun...”

HE HAS ONE HUNDRESS PERCENT EATEN YOU KNOW OUT IN HIS OFFICE, HES MADE YOU CUM DURRING MEETINGS AND HAS MADE YOU SIT ON HIS COCK WHILE ON CONVERENCE CALLS AGHHHHH

“Just order me something and get it to go because we don’t have time to go out right now, I’ll make it up to you next time tho.”

“It’s just Y/n with my lunch. Let them in will ya?” (1:00 pm)

“Hey, honey...*whispers* book me an appointment with my chiro will ya? My back is definetly gonna need it... Do it for friday night since we have the weekend off.”

“You’re dismissed.”

*will pat you your thigh before you walk out the door*

*is a very firm believer of not teasing you around co-workers. no pda around the office unless it’s his and the blinds are shut and the door is locked*

“Honey~ let me take a nap on your lap.I’ve got thirty minutes and I’m tired.” (2:30 pm)

“Hey- We have a dinner meeting so I need you to go home, freshen up and get me a new suit- I’ll get ready in the gym bathrooms, I’ll be fine.”

“Let me know when you’re on the way so I can just take a quick wash- hold on give me a kiss before you go.” (3:20 pm)

“You’re on the way back? Pick me up some iced coffee, yeah?”

“You here? Hold on let me put on a towel.” (6:00 pm)

“What you lookin’ at?”

“Oh? Sorry- I’ll cover up~”

“You look real sexy by the way... Give me a kiss.”

“Mmm, if I keep kissing you, were gonna have to head home right now baby~”

you: “Tetsuro, this meeting is literraly about keeping your company and making it a bigger establishment... We are not gonna drop it to go fuck.”

“But honey~”

*smaking the back of his head*

you: “I will leave you high and dry next time you try it.”

*Kuroo def becomes a little pouty after you say that*

*while at dinner a conversation about you breaks through while youre in the restroom*

“So, you’re married to your assistant... How’s that like?” The man in front of him asked, with his own wife absent at the moment. “Oh, um... They’re really great- Y/n a great partner and theirs nothing more I could ask for.” He man scoffs before taking a drink, “Did they work for you before you got marries?” Kuroo nods, “I met them a fem years ago during a one on one interview, they have been working with me ever since.” The executive nodded, clearing his throat. “They a good fuck?” He asked, shocking Kuroo. “Excuse me?” He asked, making sure he didn’t hear him incorrectly. “I asked, are they a good fuck. Someone like that seems too good for our work, bet their probably a sleazy bitch who-” Kuroo go up from his seat a reached over to grab the mans collar. “Speak of my spouse with that manner ever again and i wont hesitate to ruin your life. You know what they learned about you before we got here. They found out that you’re having an affair- and they just happen to be pregnant... Seems to me that your hush money wasn’t enough. How about we tell your wife and kids that you just happened to start a new, hidden, life without them.” Little to Kuroos knowledge you where a few steps behind the table and happen to hear everything your husband had just threatened to spill. “Tetsuro...” You mumbled, setting your hand on his shoulder. “Sit down...” You looked back at the executive and smiled sadisticly, “You heard my husband... Finding about your second life wasn’t so hard.. Maybe I could send it to your wife in a matter of seconds if you don’t get up from this table, agree to our side of the contract and then leave. We’d like to enjoy our dinner in peace.”

“How much did you hear?”

“Right... Let’s just forget this ever happened and enjoy the dinner we deserve.”

“That was so, so, delicious” (8:00 pm)

“Did you enjoy your dinner?”

“Good, let’s get a bottle to go, yeah?”

“Home, sweet fucking home.”

“Come here, we’ll open the bottle later.”

*ya’ll accidentally fall asleep on the couch bc you guys work so hard together... its a cute sight*

Extra:

you: “Kuroo wake up, someones trying to get in.”

“No one is trying to break in.”

Kenma: “No she’s right I was trying to break in... I forgot my switch charger here and I need it.”

More of Husband Kuroo: here

419 notes · View notes

you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 3 years

Text

so get this. I was gonna roll around in Tombstone related fluff today - but no, no - this post came across my dash so Now We Are Gonna Discuss the Carnal Consumption of Meat as it appears on That Show Supernatural. YEAH BUDDIES!

(also my sincere apologies to OP of the inspiration post who innocently tagged it with “lunch date!” because I am about to go Elsewhere, cursedly).

Let’s all go meat man, after the cut!

This analysis centers primarily on 5x14 Bloody Valentine. The title of course is a semi-homage to a 3D Slasher Film Jensen starred in circa 2009.

Which I will be renting soon I guess. ,[<- parasocial panda GET BACK IN YOUR ENCLOSURE]

Also Its Really Fun that the trailer for Said Cinema ends with “nothing says date movie like a 3-D ride to hell” [are you also thinking of Cas pulling Dean out of hell, or are you normal?] ***unironically the teaser for 5x14 is -

EXT. SIDEWALK - IN FRONT OF ALICE'S APARTMENT BUILDING

RUSSEL

First date.

They then eat each other. Literally they eat each others flesh. They also do it while dirty talking about it. SPN IS A SHOW

ALICE Ugh! I've been so alone. So empty...

RUSSEL I know. Me too.

ALICE I want you, Russel---All of you... inside me...

[they both take bites out of each other, Alice chewing on a piece of Russel's flesh]

****Remember this detail, as it is important.

ANYWAY, it’s truly Cursed that not only are we doing an homage to this 3-D Jensen Horror Date Flick but also this episode is specifically centered on Valentine’s Day. The day honoring romance and love Now Coopted by Hallmark, everyone, that is the day spn writers chose to introduce us to

Sir Horseman of THE Biblical Apocalypse Famine.

Canonically, we are aware that the show is drawing from the book of Revelations in its depiction of the Four Horsemen. Here’s what it says about Famine -

"When He broke the third seal, I heard the third living creature saying, "Come." I looked, and behold, a black horse; and he who sat on it had a pair of scales in his hand.”

-Revelations 6:5

Famine holds scales (used to weigh out grain in times of food scarcity). Spn’s depiction is represented as hunger, a bottomless pit of need. It consumes souls (demon and human alike).

Cas describes Famine a little more poetically:

CASTIEL

"And then will come Famine riding on a black steed. He will ride into the land of plenty... "

"... and great will be the Horseman's hunger, for he is hunger. "

"His hunger will seep out and poison the air. "

***Consider a prior season in which we are introduced to the Seven Deadly Sins. Which are the sins associated with hunger?

Gluttony

and Lust.

***this is also important

Back to the episode. Case cold open, and we find out that Alice was a Nice Girl. In that she didnt drink, smoke or

have premarital sex.

***So Alice’s hunger for the sin of Lust caused her to succumb to it; and her demise was presented as Gluttony (literally eating her partner’s flesh). HMM

Famine’s presence is affecting the town, and Cas is not immune.

DEAN

And when did you start eating?

CASTIEL

Exactly. My hunger-- it's a clue, actually.

***They lay it out a little more in case you missed it ->

SAM

I thought famine meant starvation, like as in, you know, food.

CASTIEL

Yes. Absolutely. But not just food. I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something--Sex, attention, drugs, love...

***this is so important. but of course because its spn and our textual narrators are generally unreliable (even in a Ben Edlund episode, yes I know)

we get a red herring

CASTIEL

Right. The cherub made them crave love, and then Famine came, and made them rabid for it.

***but that’s not accurate. they didn’t get married or become obsessed with each other (remember the cursed coin in 4x08 Wishful Thinking and the unconditional love wish? not what happened here). they had premarital sex. they did the thing Alice considers wrong, and dark, and sinful. and then they ate each others’ flesh.

DEAN

Okay, but what about you? I mean, since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle?

CASTIEL

It's my vessel-- Jimmy. His, uh, appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine's effect

***mad lad Jimmy Novak’s hunger is for...red meat? He is starving for red meat? You are telling me that the Novaks, red blooded conservative religious midwestern Novaks, ate RED MEAT SO SPARINGLY that Jimmy Novak was LITERALLY starving for it?!?! No way. Absolutely no way. This is a man who was such a religious zealot he STUCK HIS HAND IN BOILING WATER and accepted an angel of the lord into his own body but his secret hunger was for fucking ground beef?

give me a damn break.

to me this is an absolute coverup. Because Cas’s burger consumption is not related one iota to his vessel Jimmy Novak.

it is a representation of Cas falling. Cas’s cravings for meat represent his growing (and very much prohibited) feelings for...humanity (Dean Winchester), and they are presenting as Gluttony in the form of his downing more and more copious amounts of red meat.

SERIOUSLY, consider this - at one point the depiction is so desperately carnal that he is eating raw ground beef with his bare hands. It is fucking uncomfortable. and it is SUPPOSED to be. Famine stirs up hunger for the prohibited. For the sinful. That which we are starving for but do not believe we can ever have, so we lust and we lust and we LUST after it, but should we allow ourselves even just a taste of what we have been ravenously craving, we binge it until we ourselves disappear into the oblivion of our own sinful, dark desires.

Since You Want More Examples of why this cant possibly be hunger for Cheeseburgers and Cheeseburgers alone, Consider Famine’s effect on Dean. Remember his doctor kink?

**when its revealed that Doctor Corman has succumbed to Famine’s poison by drinking himself to death, Dean - very uncharacteristically by the way - reacts by saying out loud

DEAN Thanks. Crap! I really kind of liked this guy.

***please note that Doctor Corman says the following to Dean in the prior scene they have together -

DR. CORMAN [to Dean]

Agent Marley, you just can't stay away.

****was that a flirtation?

***Also, Dean doesn’t want to go out and chase tail for Valentines Day.

SAM

I mean, what do you always call it-- Uh, unattached drifter Christmas?

DEAN

Oh, yeah. Well... be that as it may...I don't know. Guess I'm not feeling it this year.

SAM

So you're not into bars full of lonely women?

DEAN

Nah, I guess not. [takes a sip of his beer] Ahh. What?

SAM

That's when a dog doesn't eat-- That's when you know something's really wrong.

***oh look we are relating things to eating again. sex/lust to gluttony. hmmm hmmm hmmm

ANYHOW - *takes deep breath*

this is also the Episode Where This Scene Lives

****JACKTING JOICES

oh and speaking of jacting joices, this is also the Dean Notices Cupids Crotch Episode.

frAckles, I am once again asking why you only permit celestial beings to hug you from behi-[gunshots]

but Dean isn’t hungry. Why? Famine has the explanation, and we get it after Dean immediately runs inside after Cas heads in to complete his portion of their plan barely giving him any time to do so because he misses him that much.

FAMINE

I disagree. [Famine moves closer to Dean and touches him] Yes. I see. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.

DEAN

Oh, you're so full of crap.

FAMINE

Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me!

***not Dean making all of those homophobic/homoerotic jokes every time he’s in danger or feeing uncomfortable; not that, that can’t possibly be what Famine is referencing, right?

I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated.

***not THIS parallel:

AMARA:

You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel, except… It's cloaked in shame

You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions.

***not the motions of performative heterosexuality!!

***Dean’s not hungry because in his heart he truly believes that he can’t actually have what he hungers for. That Thing Which This Episode Overtly but Also Very Clearly Made Obvious. It’s an angel riding shotgun [I did Do That and I am Not Sorry], eating a burger in the front seat of the impala. But, I’ve deviated from the meat of this essay [gunshots] [this time just for the bad joke].

BONUS

there’s Exists another episode in which a man ravenously consumes red meat; eventually succumbing to eating raw beef with his bare hands in the season prior to this one.

Yes Supernatural the Show That Brought Us Not One But Two Scenes of Persons Carnally Consuming Red Meat With Their Bare Hands.

This episode is a MOTW - the man in question is a rougaru - a monster that starts out as human but due to some specific genetic disorder (hmmm hmmm hmm crack in THE chassis hmmm hmmm) soon begins to be extremely hungry - “for everything, but eventually long pig.” AKA human flesh.

Wanna know the kicker?

Episode’s called Metamorphosis.

(GIF by jackttwist)

I’ll see myself out.

[DOUBLE BONUS for extra credit:

if you really wanna wild out, go watch the scene of Jack the rougaru looking at himself in the mirror in 4x04 - and then meander on over to 7x01 and check out God!stiel looking in the mirror as the leviathans writhe inside him over there. It’s worth the walk.]

***oh and @lilac-void im tagging you in this one because in exchange for your KIND creator content nomination I guess I will respond by cursing you with an Honorary tag in this, a Meat Meta. you’re welcome slash I'm sorry XO [but seriously thank you again for your kindness and appreciation; it really motivated me to sit down and get moving on making more content <3]

#yes I did do a meat meta #and what of it #destiel #spn #spn fandom #supernatural #spn family #myspnmeta #my spn meta #hellerism #deancas #longpost #spn analysis #spn 5x14 #spn bloody valentine #meat meta #<- I do not even want to know or see what else that tag would lead to

347 notes · View notes

shit-scfandom-did · 3 years

Note

so i have a few questions

1)i cannot understand how you ship k*ramel. their relationship was FILLED with toxicity. from mon-el failing over and over again to listen to what kara had to say to him basically telling her to give up being kara danvers. convincing her that "being supergirl and having you is enough” was absolutely horrible. karamel had their moments but overall it was toxic. then in s3 mon el was married and the whole point of season 3 was allowing them to move on. accepting the toxicity from s2 and pushing past that romanticized time. mon el was a better person by 3b but he was still married. even if mon el and imra did break up in the finale there’s no future for karamel. even during 5x13 kara went to ask on advice about lena. and when winn came to visit from the future not a word about him. she’s moved on and it just wouldn’t make sense for kara to end up with him.

2) how can you hate lena so so so much?? it’s been said over and over again that all she’s ever wanted to do is good. though she’s designed to be this morally grey character. she has FLAWS but that’s what makes her so good. she’s a victim of abuse and you can see her struggle with that especially in seasons 4 and 5. in 5 she definitely goes down a questionable path but how can you expect her not too? after being emotionally abused by her brother, betrayed by her family, andrea (this did happen before kara), and then eve. finding out that kara and EVERYONE she loves has betrayed her as well. I mean how could you not go mad?? and even when she “went mad” she was trying to rid humanity of PAIN. something she later realized was a necessary part of life. her hurt blinded her from reality and lex’s manipulation pushed her down further. she’s been hurt and broken so many times and while that’s not an excuse for what she’s done you have no sympathy for her and that I find appalling. lena has realized what she’s done is wrong, that she’s made mistakes, what she did to kara, and she will have to live with that isn’t that punishment enough? she’s apologized and is trying to make up for everything she’s done by saving the world (again). your unnecessary hate towards her infuriates me. cant you take a step back and see the whole picture?

3) why DONT you ship supercorp or accept the queerbaiting? (watch this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C2w2GBXd_Pg) They are the core relationship of the show while the danvers sisters are the heart. they’ve gone through so so much together and practically dated in early season 2. they love each other it’s just oh so apparent. i like to believe one of the reasons lena reacted so strongly in s5 is because she was in love with kara and she couldn’t handle the person she was in love with lying to her. and kara flew around the world to get lena’s favorite food!! if that’s not romantic idk what is. I feel like you’ve developed such a clouded view of supercorp that you need to take a step back and understand what lena is the love of kara’s life.

wow what a long message. im not here to hate. im here to inform & undertand. i get it. karamel had their moments and even MY perception of them might be a little cloudy. im not going to hate you for liking them. hell I even shipped them for a little! my brother thinks 3b mon el and kara would’ve been perfect but he understands that supercorp is just where the show is leading and he wants them to be endgame. but what I will hate is your hate. what’s the point of all this? this thread, this account is going to do NOTHING. so why bother? I debated sending this and I hope I’m not too harsh at times but I really wanna see what you say. I hope you can open your eyes to lena and supercorp. maybe even become a supercorp shipper yourself!

- thanks and supercorp endgame 💙❤️

First of all, if you want to discuss ships in the future send this type of anons to facepalming-since-chernobyl, this blog is not for this, but for gathering receipts.

1.I just ship it, I don’t get why you have to understand it. It’s shipping. But if you insist:

No, it was not filled with toxicity. Count me when he failed to listen to her when they were in a relationship. Secondly, he is not a dog, he has his brain, he is his own person. People don’t always do what others asked them to do. It’s not slavery.

He has NEVER said to her to give up being Kara Danvers. How did he exactly convince her? How can you read the scene that he convinced her that being supergirl and having him is erasing Kara Danvers? In this scene he supports anything SHE WANTS to do. Also, Kara Danvers doesn’t equal Kara being a reporter in CatCo. On that moment she had her blog. She change people’s live with it like a real reporter. She took the risk and met consequences of her actions aka being fired by Snapper. Also, remind me who told her to create a blog? With your logic Lena was erasing Kara Danvers too.

Friendly reminder that he was forced to the marriage to keep peace. Also, friendly reminder Imra and the Legion out him in this situation without telling him about her plans. She and Brainiac put him there, knowing exactly how much he loved Kara and how much she meant to him. Imra knew that, that’s why she asked him to stay and solve his feelings. She said if he had come back, she would have known he had no doubts. But he wanted to stay, that’s why they broke up. He came back because once again he sacrificed himself for the greater good, like a real hero. Maybe watch the Argo eps because they clearly show that no, it was no about moving on.

It was not accepting about so called toxicity. First of all, she already forgave him that he lied. Secondly, all of she was screaming in that scene, when she was infected with M’rynn’s powers, happened before they got together and it was already approached in the musical ep. Aka, this scene had no point.

There is no future for karamel because you say so?

Kara went to asked him, because she truly believed and trusted him and his judgment. And yes, she asked about Lena and what did he said? That Kara deserved the same compassion she gives others, something Lena never gave her. And sorry, I know all scs scream the 100 ep was about sc, but it was about Kara fully realizing she is not responsible for Lena’s horrible choices. That’s it. And friendly reminder she called her a villain in the last scene. Also, the ep showed than no matter what, Lena always ends screwing something, because she has too big ego, always knows better, doesn’t stand criticism and doesn’t trust anyone.

It doesn’t make sense for you. Suit yourself.

2.Her fans made me hate her :) Thanks to them and how they excuse her every horrible action, how they treat her as a victim, while she abuse everyone etc. I started to watch her more carefully. And well, she is a horrible, white, privileged capitalist, who plays god, judge, jury, has mommy issues and acts like typical Luthor while crying she is not one, while still using Luthors money and resources.

Yeah, many people want to make good and end doing evil things. Common people pay for their sins, she has never. Since allowing hostile Daxamite army to invade the Earth (also, her portal affected the other aliens who destroyed the NC), producing a device that could recofnize aliens without their consent (and it was used by Children of Liberty,)producing and lying about Kryptonite, trying to make people superpowered without any supervision, killing Adam during illegal experiment, supporting openly alienphobic president and in a way Agent Liberty, killing Lex and then blaming Kara and finally manipulating Kara for months, lying, gaslighting, yelling, making her steal Lex journal, trying to lobotomize her and tortured with kryptonite, hurting every way possible, physically and mentally. Working with mass murderer, enslaving 3 people (kidnapping Eve, without her consent putting AI into her mind, basically RAPING her brain and making her a puppet in her own body; enslaving end experimenting on Malefic and Russel – threatening to kill him to steal Andrea’s necklace) – none of it are flaws. It was horrible abuse and violating every human right and the fact some people excuse it is disgusting.

First of all, being victim of abuse doesn’t give you the rights to HURT other people. The fact I have to explain pains me. Secondly, what abuse exactly? Lillian didn’t love her? Lex kidnapped her? Said he was going to kill her? You know what? Winn HAD HORRIBLE past and he didn’t turn into a murderer. Mon-El was abused by his mother and never tortured Kara with Kryptonite. J’onn killed a lot of white martians but last time I checked he doesn’t feel good about it. Also, never said the things he has done were GOOD. See a difference?

Yeah, and all of it, still doesn’t give her the rights to torture people. Also, friendly reminder she lied to Supergirl about Kryptonite in s3, much before the whole drama. Remember how she destroyed the life of a girl that stole boyfriend in middle school? It clearly shows she always had THAT in her. Plus, sorry not sorry, if she wanted different life, outside her family she could have easily done that. She was in Star City, with Jack, doing her researches, making her career. And she threw it all away, because she WANTED to be a Luthor.

Plus, sorry not sorry, if you feel betrayed and hurt because your friend didn’t tell you something she didn’t OWE you, you go to therapy, not trying to lobotomize entire planet.

Mate, she wanted to lobotomizer entire humanity, without ANYONE’S consent, because SHE, one single Lena, felt hurt. This is playing a GOD. Nothing explains it.

Planning a cold ass revenge for months is not being blinded by feelings.

Once again, even if could argue about how many times she was broken, most of that was a white privileged life she chose herself but whatever, it still doesn’t excuse her. All of she has done should meet consequences. Paying for shit you have done, accepting it, fully realizing what you have done is a part of redemption. Still in s5 she didn’t even apologize to Kara. Because she still didn’t understand what she has done and doesn’t feel sorry about it.

Feel appalled as much as you want, because I’m not going to feel sorry for a white, privileged woman who has never paid for her actions and is basically a living avatar of the worst Karen you can imagine.

She realized Lex was using her horrible experiments (remember? She experimented on puppies too) to his own agenda, that’s why she went to Kara. That’s not grasping a thing. Mhm, if you call that an apology then suit yourself. She is not saving the world, she is helping once again other people fixing the shit she created.

Feel infuriated as much as you want, because I don’t care? Especially when it comes from a person who tells others to take a step back while being totally narrow minded about Mon-El and karamel.

3.Because actors, prodcuers, writers call SC a female friendship. Mel did that in her last interview. See whatever you want but maybe stop forcing people to ship a horribly abusive ship.

Well… no. Kara is the heart and soul of the Supergirl. Alex is her most important relationship. Lena is an important friend, who doesn’t deserve it yet, but we all know Kara is the Paragon of Hope so of course she is going to forgive her.

I know you people think sc dated because they breathed in one room, but in s2 Kara dated, had sex, kissed, cuddled and enjoyed her time with Mon-El.

Yeah, they love each other as friends. It was said more than once.

That’s your delusion, you are free to do it.

Kara done that to Alex too, so you are saying she is romantically in love with her sister or something? If bringing people food is romantic and damn, most of the people I know loves me, god.

No, lena is not Kara’s love of her life.

Cool, you are not going to hate me because I ship karamel, I’m touched.

Sorry that you are going to be super disappointed in the end of the show I guess.

You will hate my hate – what’s the point of it?

Once again, because I don’t think you understand the point of this blog or read the description – it’s gathering receipts of assholes who cross tag and hate on the actors. Maybe go and search #gross hate or #cast hate on this blog so you can see how amazing your fandom is. Have fun.

I would rather eat my own shit than starting shipping the victim of abuse with her abuser.

Thanks and no :)

#anons

165 notes · View notes

winderlylandchime · 8 months

Note

1/2 hello, hope you guys are doing good. I have no clue what time it is for you. But i am back with updates! And if you may noticed that it took a few days it is because SOMEBODY went to a party in only a robe and shorts thinking he won’t get sick and then got sick. And then gave me a cold. Thankfully we are back now with 4x12 (ive never related to Brian during the ride more than now): btw this started with him high as a kite off of cold medicine but thankfully he is more normal than he was when they had him on the strong pills. Lowkey glad that is over. *Brian walks off in the intro* ‘someone should make a compilation of every time that man is barefoot. Did they even give him shoes half of the time?’ The ep starts with the parent/teacher conference ‘i cant believe that I actually like Mike as a parent. He’s actually better as a dad (mikey introduces himself) where the fuck did Bruckner came from? Did he just marry himself to Ben? Imagine if Justin did that? Brian would have a stroke.’ ‘NO MY POOR BRIAN! please tell me his cancer is gone? I hate seeing him a hospital gown. This is giving me flashbacks to when I was in the hospital *immediately pauses and raises his hand at me* not that someone was grabbing my balls at the hospital. WHAT DOES HE MEAN CANT BE CERTAIN THE CANCER WONT REOCCUR?! you better be fucking sure. (Brian asks about the drugs and alcohol and the doctor is being kinda strict) *pauses ep and looks at me* is this…is this how it looked like when I was at the doctor when I asked about the cancer? (Me: yes kinda. But more embarrassing)…hm. Noted’ ‘man, they really suck at doing Charity. First that carnival and now this. Maybe just don’t do it anymore. Or better yet, start asking Bri Bri for help’ Emmett and Ted are talking about his secret affair with a celebrity ‘be honest, would I have a shot with Brian? *he starts laughing at the scene where Drew is on every poster* man, Bri Bri really knows how to do marketing (that scene happens where a lady thinks Em is begging for money and gives him some) oh that’s happened to me too. Both of those. I once crossed a busy street and almost got hit by a car to give money to a homeless guy and when i dropped it into his cup it made that plonk sound cause he had coffee in it. And then like a few months later some kid did the same to me but I didn’t want her to be embarrassed so I told her “god bless you, i haven’t eaten all day” *goes back to the ep as if all that was normal to experience* ‘i know it’s a lesbian relationship but holy fuck they really did turn Lindsay into a stereotypical straight guy from shows…(Mel is now attacking Linds about not being a lesbian) *he lets out the BIGGEST gasp ever and then gets up and walks out for a cigarette and comes back in* WHAT THE FUCK IN THE HOLY FUCK WAS ALL THAT? I’m confused cause she also cheated so like some of the stuff shes saying..girl be for real. But the rest? WHAT?’ ‘Ahh look at them all going to the gym together! Hold the fuck up, so we went from Brian not telling Justin anything to Brian telling Justin his doctor is letting him only light activities? Ahhhh young love. So now everyone knows he has cancer?’ The scene with Drew stalking Em is on ‘that is the uglies car in the world. ugh him. DO NOT GET IN! Who does he think he is? Oh you miss him? Fuck you. EMMETT BE STRONG!…should I remind either of you that you have a wife’ hunter and callie are now on screen kissing ‘OH MY GOD. This feels wrong. NO THEY ARE CHILDREN STOP. i need Brian and Justin back. Please stop it. No. No. What am i watching? No (he is hiding his face behind a pillow because he is uncomfortable) fuck i forgot about the HIV. Oh shit. Oh no. Dude you really waited till you guys are in bed? Aw she is so sweet, i love her. But make this go away. Give me Brian and Justin’ ‘BRIAN TOOK HIS CLIENT TO THE HOSPICE? He cares so fucking much. Of course he is saving the day. Renowned humanitarian? Is Ben gonna be sponsored by the client?’

Hi dear sweet anon! I’m doing well. I went to a concert on Halloween which was amazing but also the crowd and traffic were ridiculous. Then, yesterday, two of my closest friends got married (to each other). It was a small courthouse wedding but it was like 2 hours away from where I live so lots of driving and also lots of fun.

I am laughing so hard over your brother’s reaction to “is this how it looked when I was at the doctor and asked about the cancer.” OMG yes but far worse.

Mel attacking Lindsay about not being a lesbian is the worst. It makes me sick that it’s in this show that I love. So bad.

BRIAN TOLD JUSTIN THAT HIS DOCTOR CLEARED HIM FOR LIGHT ACTIVITY! it’s growth!

Ohhh Hunter and Callie, your brother is about to have his heart broken.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

0 notes

moistmailman · 4 years

Text

Jaune, nervously: Hey b-babe? C-can I ask you something?

Pyrrha: Of course. What is it?

Jaune, fidgety: Well uhm...I-I Uh.....you and I are....I'm.......*sucks teeth and slightly groans*

Pyrrha: Are you Okay?

Jaune: Y-Yeah. I’m fine. I just....for the past month I’ve been......*shakes head* Okay, screw it. I'm tripping over my words. I'll just to show you it instead.

Pyrrha: Show me what?

Jaune: This.

*Jaune reaches into his pockets and pull out a small black box before opening it towards Pyrrha*

Pyrrha, gasping: Oh my gosh.

Jaune, blushing: Y-Yeah. I-I know.

Pyrrha: Babe, I cant believe it.

Jaune: I k-know this is a big step and all, so y-you don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to. I’d understand.

Pyrrha: What? Why would I say no? These earings are beautiful, babe. Thank you.

Jaune: You Really think— Wait, earings? What do you— what the fuck?! How the hell— oh fuck. Yang!

*meanwhile*

Yang, smirking: Hey Babe. Got you something. *pulls out identical box and hands it to Blake*

Blake, smirking: What’s this?

Yang, shrugging sheepishly: Something I think you’d like. It’s expensive too I must say. You’ll gonna love it.

Blake, teasingly: Well I’ll be the judge of— *gasps loudly* oh my god.

Yang, satisfied: Yep. I know how to pick them, huh? I’m good.

Blake, wide eyed: I....are you serious?

Yang: Uhm...Yeah. Duh? Why would I joke about this? *chuckles* That'd be a boring prank.

Blake: *staring at box in disbelief*

Yang: Erm....this isn’t exactly the reaction I expected. Is this a good reaction or a bad one? I’m completely lost. Are you—

Blake: Yes!

Yang: Yes what? What's happening?

Blake, pulling out a wedding ring from the box: Yes I’ll marry you!

Yang, choking: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!

#rwby #pyrrha nikos #jaune arc #arkos #blake x yang #bumblby #imagine your otp #imagine your ship

385 notes · View notes

zaikaglow · 3 years

Text

Betrayal

For @mikaberries 4k Celebration Collab

Pairing: Bertholdt Hoover x Reader

Content Warnings: Unprotected sex, dacryphilia, abandonment

Summary: You feel your relationship has run its course but youre unable to get out and you feel trapped leaving you with only one option, but can you bring yourself to do it?

“You're really sure about this y/n”? Hitch asks, sitting in the driver's seat of her Subaru palms just grazing the wheel as she drums on it with her pink fingernails. Sitting in the passenger's seat you pull your knees to your chest and look out at the Starbucks parking lot. Your face is starting to heat up at the shame of what you just told her. “I just really don’t know how else to do it” you mutter, wishing that maybe you had just kept your little plan to yourself that you didn’t get your best friend Hitch involved. She turns to you this time before she speaks “I just really can’t believe you wanna do that to him, just leave totally ghost the poor guy after what? 4 years? Come on y/n be an adult”.

You can tell she’s scowling at you now “Hitch what would you do if Marlo asked you to marry him?” she laughs “well I’d tell him no, I’m not ready for that and not just pack up all my shit in the middle of the night and ask my best friend to be my getaway driver”. You were trying to choke back tears of frustration when you weakly mutter “that wouldn't work on Bertholdt”. “Come on y/n you're being ridiculous what do you mean that wouldn't work” her eyebrows knit together as she looks at you with more concern than contempt now. “Remember when I told you I was going to break up with him last year”?

“Yeah but then you two went to dinner and talked it out and you decided to stay together”

“That’s not exactly what happened. I started trying to breakup with him but he started crying and saying how he didn’t even think he could imagine life without me and everyone started staring and I just told him we could work it out”

“Okay so just don’t do it in a public place again” she takes a sip of her iced coffee

“God dammit Hitch! I’m an adult don’t you think I thought of that? Every time I’ve tried to break up with him he just starts either smothering me telling me how much he loves me or starts crying and going on about how he doesn’t know how to go on living.” Getting more exasperated at trying to make her understand you place your head into your palms “I swear that's the whole reason he asked me to marry him”

Hitch sighs “Do you still love him?”

“I don't know anymore Hitch”

“Okay how about you make an actual attempt to end it tonight, I’ll still drive you and you can stay with me until you get stuff figured out but please don’t just disappear on him”

“Fine i'll make a last attempt but if it doesn’t work will you still come get me?”

“Sure what else are friends for y/n”

It’s later in the evening when you make it back to your shared apartment and your heart is beating in your chest. You're going to do it, you're actually going to be an adult and tell Bertholdt that you're breaking up. You're not getting married and you don’t care about how much he’s crying or the way he wraps his big arms around your body and pulls you close and whispers “stay” over and over. But then you walk in and he’s there and the way his eyes light up when he sees you makes your heart swell and you start to wonder if you can really go through with this “y/n! I’m glad your home I made dinner it’s your favorite” he walks over to you and places his hands on your shoulder “Don’t worry i'm not trying to sway you, I told you that you can take your time to think about my proposal” he smiles “unless you want to say yes right now I’d be okay with that”. Oh god the swelling in your heart is gone and is now replaced with the feeling of being drowned by him, even his touch no longer feels like that of a lover but of a weird stranger. “Uh actually I think” you're interrupted by a kiss, as his hands slide up from your shoulders up the back of your neck into your hair. His lips move to your neck “I’m only joking baby, take your time”. God this is what he did. You could tell he knew what you were trying to do and he was going to try to seduce you into staying with him. His lips lose contact with your neck as he reaches down to pick you up and place you on the counter. He brushes the hair out of your face with one hand, the other resting on your cheek “you know I love you y/n”. You place your hand over his “I love you too” it wasn’t entirely a lie. You truly do think that you still love him in a way which is why what you were going to do was going to hurt. “Let’s go to the bedroom” at which he grins and picks you up again carrying you to the shared bedroom. And you hope to god he doesn’t see the suitcase stored under the bed.

His hips press into the space between your thighs right where he fits perfectly, as you two would joke. His hands go to start toying with the hemline of your shirt, when you look up into his soft blue eyes and push his bangs out of his face “hey, how about we try something” you practically whisper he ruts his cholted cock against you as he kisses that sensitive spot behind your ear reply “yeah what do you want to try” . You grab him by both sides of his jaw bringing him back up to meet your gaze “how about you fuck me like its the last time?” his lustful look is replaced with a mix of concern and a smile trying to hide it “I don’t know if I like that game y/n”. Moving your thumb in small circles against his cheek you smile “I mean just like as passionate as if this were our last time together” you can see his gaze soften at your reassurance. “Okay” ending his reply with a kiss. Large but soft hands run down your neck thumbs tracing your pulse point as he moves towards your breasts giving them a gentle squeeze before moving back to that hemline pushing it up so he can start planting kisses by your belly button making his was up your torso moving the shirt up along with his head until it reaches the bottom of your rib cage where you take the hem in your hand and remove the shirt and bra yourself. Bertholdt pinches your nipple between his top teeth and his bottom lip rolling it into his mouth and soothing the sting of his teeth with his tongue, as his other hand grips your other breast rolling the nipple with his thumb. Legs wrapped around him tightening as the overwhelming stimulation in your tits is causing you to start grinding against his hardened dick in his pants desperate for friction. He pulls away sitting up to pull off his own shirt “hey slow down if this is the last time im fucking you I’d rather make it last” he says with a small chuckle before going to work at your own pants as he slides them down your legs and then lays himself down between your legs. He starts with a wet kiss to the side of your right thigh before making his way down to your core fingers running over your clothed slit before grabbing the waist band and pulling them down. “That's my good girl” he sighs as you spread your legs further apart and grips the sheets at the sensation of his hot breath fanning over your now exposed cunt. A feather light kiss greats your clit before he starts to use the flat of his tongue to lick circles around it as he dips his long delicate fingers into your core and all you can do is grip his locks of dark hair. His fingers dragging against your swollen walls bringing you closer and closer until he switches to suctioning on your swollen bud pushing you over the edge. You squirm under his grip around your thighs as he keeps licking to help you ride out your high. You pull his head off of you, feeling his resistance and attempting to make contact with you again. His jeans already have a wet spot from the way he was rutting his hips into the mattress, so excited at the pleasure he was giving you. He takes off his jeans before sliding back over you, his weeping cock laying on your stomach. You pull his head down into a kiss as he takes his cock and rubs the wet head against your clit before sliding it into you. His hip movements are rhythmic, dragging out slowly and thrusting back in faster and you cant help but to blurt out “I love you, I love you, I love you” over and over at his thrusts; it's almost like a prayer, no, an absolution. The building of guilt at the betrayal to this man's love that you were about to perform, and when he says it back you can't help it and you feel tears start to streak down your face. Bertholdt shifts up and grabs your legs throwing them over his shoulder, head ever so slightly turning to the left to kiss your ankle “it’s okay sweetheart I’ve got you” he says before continuing his thrusting. The tears are still streaming down your face as your head throws back into the pillow at the new deeper angle. Legs still over his shoulder he brings his forehead down to meet yours and he’s so deep you can feel him start to brush against your cervix hurting in the best sort of way. His hips begin to stutter as you feel the warmth of his release into you, and you can feel it start to drip down your thighs as he pulls out of you and wraps you in his arms. “I love you y/n, I really do”

It’s been about 2 hours since you’ve settled down for bed, you're pretty sure he’s sound asleep by the strange way his body is contorted, and you think about how you’ll never wake up hitting the floor because your boyfriend accidentally pushed you out of bed with his crazy sleeping positions again and your chest hurts. “Berty, Berty are you up?” you mutter sweetly but the tall man just continues to slumber. You pull your suitcase out from under the bed, it's packed with all the essentials and you’d probably have to convince Hitch to come and collect the rest of your things for you, no way you could stand to face him after what you were about to do. God you felt like such a bitch you couldn’t have one hard conversation? You had to do it this way? It was so hard because you did love Bertholdt. You weren't lying earlier, you really did love him! But you know this won’t work so you'll continue to feel like something isn't quite right, not exactly whole. So this is the only way you can do it, the only way you can escape from this relationship without the love you feel for him pulling you back in.

You sit in the foyer of the apartment building on your stuffed suitcase and pull out your phone and call her “Hey Hitch” choking back a sob causes a cracking in your voice “can you come get me now”

“Of course, I’m sorry your talk must have been hard”

“We’ll we didn't have the talk per say”

“What do you mean?”

“Well we had sex and I just couldn’t do it Hitch it just has to be this way”

There's a long pause from the other end of the line

“You know y/n, I love you but right now I really don't like you”

You start to sob “I’m sorry I don’t know why I couldn’t, but I left a note”

Hitch sighs before replying “It’s okay we’ll talk more later, i'll be there in 15”

#bertholdt x reader #aot bertholdt #aot smut #bertholdt x you #bertholdt smut #aot fanfiction #bertholdt hoover #snk x reader #aot x reader #aot x y/n #aot modern au #Aot #snk

107 notes · View notes

markandlexies · 3 years

Text

The One With Will and JJ’s Wedding - Part 1

Summary: Based off of 7.23 and 7.24 of Friends! Will and JJ’s wedding is approaching and troubles arise when Will starts to panic and doesn't want to go through with it.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (Female)

Word Count: 5,115k

A/N: This is my first time writing anything like this but I love Friends and Criminal Minds and this is one of my favorite plot lines ever. I could make this a series if anybody is interested, again I’m new to this and barely even know how to use Tumblr lmao so pls be nice!!! There isn't all that much pairing of Spence and reader here but I really loved writing the relationships between the characters and I’ll def go more into detail in later chapters! If you guys have an Friends episode you would wanna see written with the criminal minds characters, feel free to send me a request! Enjoy!

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

“Do you guys realize that this is the last time we’re all going to be here in O’Keefes as all single people?” JJ sighed, fiddling with her thumbs. You smiled at this, leaning on the arm of the couch, JJ sitting to your right. Emily sat on the couch also, squeezed in next to Garcia. Reid nursed a cup of coffee on the love seat to the left, while Hotch, Rossi and Morgan sat around the small table listening intently to their friend.

“Why, what’s happening to O’Keefes?” Garcia questioned, not understanding what JJ was trying to say.

Everyone just stared at her, used to this kind of behavior, and waited for the lightbulb.

“Ohhh! Right!”

“I cant believe in just two days I’ll be Mrs. LaMontagne. God, it’s just- we’ve been waiting for so long and now the day is finally here,” JJ smiled to herself, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“I’m so excited for you, Jaje,” you smiled, resting your hand on her knee and giving it a light squeeze. She placed her hand over yours, “I just can’t help but be nervous, you know?”

“Of course, that’s normal! But actually, it’s been statistically proven that men are more nervous about marriage than woman. About 60% of men get cold feet-“

The sentence was cut short with a yelp as you kicked Spencer in the shin, urging him to stop.

Morgan cleared his throat as JJ laughed nervously. “But that’s not gonna happen... right?”

“Hey, don’t look at me...” Rossi chuckled.

“N-no of course not!” You stammered, trying to calm the bride to be’s nerves. “Spence, what are the statistics of couples that actually end up happy together?”

“Well actually about 50% to 60% of marriages end in divorce, but that doesn’t count factors such as death-“ he started.

“Well would you look at the time, we gotta go!” Garcia said, putting an end to this conversation before it could get any worse.

“Where are you guys going?” Hotch asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“We’re going to pick up the wedding dress and then go have lunch with my Mom,” JJ exclaimed as the girls all stood up to gather their belongings. Morgan got up with them, leaving Spencer, Rossi and Hotch to exchange questioning looks.

“Derek, you’re having lunch with JJ’s mom?” Rossi asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“No... I just heard lunch...”

After lunch, the girls sat around the apartment as JJ went over her list of things that still needed to be done in order for her big day.

“So what else do you have on that list?” Emily asked as she delicately applied a second coat of polish to her right hand.

“Oh, this is a different list. This is my list of all the things that could go wrong at the wedding,” she said as she wrote a couple more notes on the paper before her.

As she was met with silence she continued on, “You know, that way I could be prepared.”

“...Well, what do you have so far?” Garcia chimed in.

“So far I have, my bridesmaids dresses won’t get picked up, my veil gets lost or I don’t have my something blue-“

“Hey! Those are all the things I’m responsible for!” You interrupted, putting your coffee mug down.

“I had to do with the odds, Y/N/N!”

Before you could interject again, Will waltzed through the door. You all greeted him with a smile as he stood behind JJ’s chair, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

“What are you guys up to?” He asked, his hands finding their way to JJ’s shoulders.

“Just finishing my list of all the things that could go wrong at the wedding. You can never be too sure,” she shrugged, making a couple of more notes.

Will shook his head laughing, “Oh, relax! Everything will be perfectly fine.”

“Yeah!” You chimed in. “Stop looking for things to go wrong, you don’t want to jinx it!”

“Exactly!” He agreed, walking over to the fridge to grab a beer. “So, who’s excited for 7:00 tonight?”

You all just stared at him as Garcia walked behind JJ, tearing the page off the notepad. “You might want to start a, ‘What Could Go Wrong at the Rehearsal Dinner’ list. One: Will forgets the time.”

“Will! I told you a thousand times it’s 6:30!” JJ huffed immediately scribbling down on her new paper. You grab the notepad and clutch it to your chest. “Will you stop it? He’s just messing with you! He knows it’s at 6:30!” You turn around at his wide eyed figure. “Right?”

“Uh- yeah! I knew it was 7:00 I was just kidding-“

“6:30!” You all yelled in unison.

“That’s what I meant!”

“You’re killing me here, Will!” You whispered before turning back around to your best friend. “Jaje, everything will be perfectly fine! Everything is going to go as planned!”

“She’s right! You need to stop worrying!” Emily laughed, blowing on her nails.

JJ nodded, “Yeah, you guys are right...” She stood up walking to her fiancé, “Can you believe that tomorrow we’re gonna be married?!” He smiled at her before giving her a quick peck on the lips. “Yes, and I’m so excited for you to finally be Mrs. LaMontagne.”

You all smiled at the interaction, none of you could be happier for the pair in front of you.

“I just cant believe we made it!” She swooned, grabbing his hands in hers.

“Well, you don’t have to sound so surprised!” Will scoffed.

“It’s just- never mind.” She started, walking to put some dishes in the sink.

“What?” Will laughed, following her as she walked.

“Well... honestly,” she started, “... ever since we’ve gotten engaged I’ve been waiting for something to... you know, flip you out.”

You all giggled, silently agreeing. It was no question that Will loved JJ, but he had a tendency to overthink.

“Honestly, me too... I keep waiting for something stupid to come up that’ll make me freak out and go all... Will. But nothing has.”

She turned around and smiled at him, caressing his face. “I’m so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during all of this.” She placed another kiss to his lips before slipping into the bathroom.

You all sat in comfortable silence for a moment before the phone started ringing. Before anyone could volunteer to answer it, it had stopped, automatically going to voicemail.

“Hi! If you’re calling before Saturday, you’ve reached JJ and Will! But if you’re calling after Saturday, you’ve reached Mr and Mrs. LaMontagne! Please leave a message for the LaMontagnes!”

The girls all giggled, having been there when JJ recorded it, assuming Will had heard it already. You all continued what you were doing and missed the look of panic that was only being discussed not too long ago. Will started to sweat profusely and loosen his tie a bit, feeling he was being choked to death.

The LaMontagnes.

The rehearsal dinner had gone smoothly for the most part, nobody realizing the panic that had been struck into Will just hours before.

Before they knew it, the night had ended and their big day had begun. The girls had been sitting around like they were the previous day, eating breakfast and chatting, excited for what was ahead. JJ was prancing around the apartment, nervously fluffing pillows and moving magazines in a straight line, she had so much adrenaline and didn’t know what to do with it.

Little did she know that across the hall, Spencer and Derek were tearing the apartment apart looking for the groom to be. Will had been staying with them the night before, being that JJ wanted the wedding day to be as traditional as possible, which meant they were not to see each other until she was walking down the aisle.

“Will! Come on, buddy. Time to wake up!” Morgan huffed, knocking on the door.

After no answer, Spencer called, “Will...”

No answer again. The men exchanged questioning looks as came to agreement their next move was to just walk in. Opening the door, they were met with a neatly tucked bed. They looked at each other confused. Derek walked in going to see if there was an trace of where he went as Spencer walked towards the kitchen.

He stopped in his tracks as his eyes met with a piece of yellow paper sitting on the counter. “Morgan...” He started, walking over to read what it said.

“What is it, Pretty Boy?” Derek asked his, standing next to Reid.

“Oh no.”

The boys ran across the hall, knocking feverishly on the door in front of them. They were met with your smile, “What’s up, you guys?”

Your smile quickly faded as you saw their worried faces.

“Is JJ in here?” Morgan asked in a hushed tone.

“She’s steaming her dress, why?” Garcia answered coming behind you.

The boys walked in the door a little further. Spencer looked up at you, pulling the paper out of his pocket. “I think Will’s gone...”

You reluctantly took the paper out of Spencer’s hands, Garcia looking down to read it with you.

“Tell JJ I’m sorry.”

You met Spencer’s eyes with disbelief of what was in front of you. The group had soon enough caught Emily’s attention and she walked over.

“What’s up?” She asked as you placed the note in her hands.

“Tell JJ I’m sorry,” she read aloud. She looked up at Morgan, shoving the note in his hands, “Tell her yourself!”

You pinched the bridge of your nose as she attempted to walk away, grabbing her by the forearm and pushing everybody outside the door.

“Oh my God! Will just left her?” You cried, running your hands through your hair.

“Okay, yeah! But maybe it’s not what we think! Maybe it’s, ‘Tell JJ I’m sorry... I drank the last of the milk!” Morgan said, desperately trying to convince himself also.

“Oh!” Garcia nodded excitedly, “Or maybe h- he was writing to tell her that he’s changed his name, you know! Uh- Tell JJ I’m ‘Sorry.’”

You and Spencer looked at each other in annoyance before Spencer whisper shouted, “I think it means he freaked out and left!”

“Don’t he so negative! God, isn’t it possible ‘Sorry’ is sitting in there right now!” Garcia whisper shouted back at Reid.

Spencer put his head in his hands and before it could escalate any further you put your hand on Garcia’s shoulder and said, “Okay, I-I think Spencer is right. What are we gonna do?”

Spencer sighed, “Well, me and Derek are gonna have to go find him and bring him back.” You all nodded in agreement.

“You guys make sure JJ doesn’t find out, okay?” Morgan added, clearly stressed.

You all started to go your separate ways as you noticed Garcia following you and Emily back into the apartment.

“Oh! No you don’t!” Emily started, blocking the door with her arm.

“W-what-“ Garcia stammered confused.

You called back to the boys who were walking out of their apartment again, jackets and phones in hand, “She’s coming with you guys.”

“Good call,” Spencer laughed.

“What are you talking about?!” Garcia huffed looking back and forth between the group.

“Pen, we need JJ to not find out! You’d blow our cover in seconds!” You said nudging her towards the guys.

“Oh, come on! That’s not fair-“

“Babygirl, you know you can’t keep secrets-“

“Oh, fine!” She rolled her eyes, walking away with them.

You and Emily walked back into the apartment as JJ excitedly ran out of her room with wet hair and a robe clinging to her body. “I’m getting married today!” The sentence ended with a yelp as she fell to the floor, you and Emily running to her aid but quickly coming to a halt as she picked herself up, not even phased.

“Think I just cracked a rib...” she started, her smile still intact. “But I don’t care because today’s my wedding day! My day is finally here! I’m gonna start getting ready!” She ran back into the room clapping and squealing.

“You know... she might not even notice he’s gone,” Emily shrugged, attempting to lighten the mood.

Tears prickled at your eyes and you put your head in your hands. “She cant start getting ready! This is too awful!”

“Shh!”

“She’ll be in the gown, and then he won’t show up! And she’s gonna have to take off the gown! It’s gonna be so awful-“ You started, panic running through your veins.

“Y/N, stop it! You cant do this out here!” Emily rolled her eyes, pulling you into the bathroom.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It’s just so sad!” You cried, gripping the sink and shaking your head.

“You have got to pull yourself together! JJ cant see you like this or else she’ll know something is wrong!” Emily urged rubbing your shoulder in an effort to calm you down.

“I know, I’m sorry. God, there’s no tissue!” You groaned looking around the sink, “Can you grab me some toilet paper?”

There was no toilet paper either, Emily looked down into the trash can. “Oh... I found some...” She hesitantly reached into the can, pulling out some crumpled toilet paper and handing it to you.

“Thank you, Em,” you sniffled, wiping away your tears, “Can I have another one?”

Emily scratched the back of her head, cringing as she looked down at the trash can again. “Sure...”

She pulled the sleeve of her shirt up before reaching in again, pulling out some more. “Need some floss?” She suggested, shaking it in front of you with her hand.

You ignored her as you continued with your tears, “I just cant imagine what is going to happen if Will doesn’t show up.”

Emily continued to look through the can.

“I mean, she’s gonna be at the wedding waiting for him! And people are gonna be whispering, ‘Oh, that poor girl!’ You know! And then she’ll have to come back here and live all alone,” you shook your head, turning to face the previously steamed wedding dress hanging up on the shower rod.

“Oh my God.”

“What?” you asked, eyes never leaving the beautiful dress that you hoped to see your best friend in later that day.

“There was a pregnancy test in the garbage and it’s positive.”

Your eyes widened as you turned to face Emily and the little stick in her hands.

“JJ’s pregnant.”

Your hand instantly shot up to your mouth.

Emily sighed, “So I guess she won’t be totally alone.”

“Oh my God,” you whispered.

“Can you believe it? JJ’s gonna have a baby!” Emily said in disbelief, “Hey, can this count as her something new?”

You were at a loss for words, this was bad.

“Do you think this is why Will took off?”

You shook your head, biting your nails, “No, she had to of just taken this test. I took out the trash last night.”

Emily looked back down at the little stick, “This is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant, the groom is missing... and I’m still holding this!” She shuddered as she dropped it back into the trash.

“Em...” you started, meeting her eyes, “we cannot tell anyone about this.”

“Right... yeah. Okay,” she nodded standing up from her spot on the toilet seat, you following her movement to the door.

“Wait do you know what kind’ve birth control she was using?”

“No, why?” you asked.

“Just for the future, this is hardly a commercial for it!” You tried to laugh but nothing came out, you were screwed.

“Anything?” You asked as you walked into Spencer and Morgan’s apartment.

“Nothing! And we looked everywhere!” Garcia groaned from her spot on the couch.

You all shook your head in disbelief, this was a nightmare.

“I am going to kick his ass when I see him! I’m starting to think we don’t really even know this guy! I mean think about it, does anybody else ever really understand him when he’s speaking?” Morgan huffed, looking around for an answer.

You rolled your eyes, “Shut up, Derek! He’s just freaking out! We should’ve known this was gonna happen sooner or later!”

Reid sighed in a agreement as he met your eyes, “This is bad, you guys. I don’t know where else we should look.”

You ran your hands through your hair, “We’re gonna have to just tell her that he’s gone!” you said as you turned around to walk towards the door.

Spencer jumped up from his seat, “Y/N, no! We can’t!”

“Spence, she’s gonna start getting ready soon!”

“Cant you at least stall her a little?” He pleaded, walking over towards you. “We can go back to some of the places we went last night!”

You looked up at him, he was grabbing your forearm lightly. You could never say no to those eyes.

“Alright,” you sighed, “...how much time do you need?”

“How much time until she absolutely has to start getting ready?” Derek interrupted.

“One hour.”

“Okay, give us two,” he replied, gathering his things from the counter.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance, “Then why do you even ask?!”

You all started to walk towards the door. Emily decided to join them, being that they needed all the help they could get. Hotch and Rossi were now in on the plan too and they agreed they should all split up in groups.

“Y/N! There you are!” JJ giggled as she excitedly walked towards you as you entered the apartment. With her cosmetic bag in hand, she sat down at the kitchen table, already spilling out the contents, “So I thought we’d start with my makeup and then do my hair!”

“Okay... uh...” you stammered, “before we do that... I-I need you to talk to me...”

“About what?”

“Um...” you were already cringing at the words about to come out of your mouth.

“I’m never going to get married!” You cried, placing a hand over your face.

JJ rolled her eyes and looked up at you, “Yeah, you will! The right guy is just around the corner... Okay, are we done with that?” she said quickly and continued to look through her makeup bag.

“JJ, I’m serious! Maybe I should just forget about it! I’ll become a lesbian or something...” you rambled on, faking more tears and sitting down next to her, trying to get her attention again.

However, it didn’t work. JJ didn’t even look up at you when she scoffed, “Any woman would be lucky to have you.”

You mentally face palmed. This was getting pathetic, and you couldn’t believe what you were about to say next.

“Maybe it would make me feel better if I just slept with Derek.”

JJ immediately stopped what she was doing and put a hand on your shoulder with wide eyes and a concerned face. “Oh my God, Y/N, are you okay?”

You shook your head quickly and stuffed your face in her shoulder, letting out fake cries.

“What are you doing, man?” Derek huffed as he stood besides Hotch and Penelope in front of Will’s desk at the station.

“I cant believe you guys found me! I knew I should have hid somewhere more secretive!”

Penelope rolled her eyes, “Will! What the hell are you doing?

Will shakily ran a hand through his hair, “Panicking...” he pointed to laptop opened in front of him, “Also trying to prove on the internet that I’m related to JJ.”

The trio was unamused.

Will got the hint quickly and asked, “How is she?”

“She’s fine. She doesn’t know you’re gone,” Hotch spoke up, getting closer to the desk, “and she doesn’t have to know, okay?”

Derek nodded in agreement, “Yeah, come on. We’re going back home-“

“I-I can’t! If I go back, we’re gonna become the LaMontagnes!” Will cut him off, shaking his head, “I can’t be the LaMontagnes!”

“What’s wrong with being the LaMontagnes?” Garcia questioned, clearly not following.

“The LaMontagnes have horrible marriages! All they do is yell and fight, and it never ends up well!”

Hotch, Penelope and Derek looked back at Will, finally understanding. He didn’t talk about it much, but Will and his parents were not close, he was too scarred from what they had put him through growing up to ever reconstruct their relationship.

“Man...” Derek began in an effort to calm him down, “You are nothing like either of your parents! You and JJ would never put each other through anything like that!”

Will thought about it for a second before saying, “I mean, look at Rossi! It’s just been divorce after divorce-“

“Will! Listen to me!” Penelope interrupted walking over to the side of the desk, “Right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do... but I totally believe you can do this!”

Will looked at his hands before saying, “I want to. I love her so much. But I’m afraid... this is... too huge.”

“You’re right, it is huge,” Hotch chimed in. He remembered when he was the one getting married and started to sympathize with the nerves of the man in front of him. “Just take it one step at a time. Forget getting married right now, can you just come home and take a shower?”

Morgan nodded in agreement, “Yeah, that’s not scary, right?”

Will slowly started to stand up in agreement and the trio in front of him couldn’t help but smile.

“The nights are the hardest...” you cried, looking down at your hands. JJ rolled her eyes. “But then the day comes... and that’s every bit as hard as the night. Then the night comes again-“

“I get it, okay? The days and nights are both hard!” JJ snapped in frustration. “Look, Y/N, I’m sorry but I have to start getting ready. I am getting married today,” she emphasized.

“I know... at dusk. That’s such a hard time for me.”

JJ stood up, not being able to take anymore of your pity party. “Okay. I’m gonna go put my makeup on. We have to be at the hotel in an hour.”

As she started to walk towards the bathroom you jumped up, “W-wait! Let’s go to lunch!”

“I can’t go to lunch!” She shrieked, running into the bathroom.

You were starting to run out of ideas. Throwing yourself to the floor you yelled, “Oh good God, I’ve fallen down!”

JJ stormed out of the bathroom, crossing her arms and looked at you sprawled out on the floor. “What the hell is going on?”

“Alright, JJ, listen...” you said standing up, feeling the tears ready to spill. “When I tell you what I’m about to tell you I need you to remember we’re all here for you and we all love you.”

JJ’s gaze softened, “Y/N/N, you’re really starting to freak me out...”

You looked down at your shaking hands as you whispered, “We can’t find Will...”

And just like that the door opened to reveal a smiling Emily Prentiss holding two big thumbs up.

“...s vest. We cant find Will’s vest-“

“How can that be are you serious?!” JJ cried.

Emily caught on and shut the door walking towards you two, “Found the vest! Well I mean we have to keep an eye on it. You know, to make sure we don’t lose it again!”

JJ instantly relaxed and started laughing, “Oh, thank God! Don’t scare me like that, okay?”

You both started nervously laughing as she started to walk towards the bathroom to finally do her makeup.

“For a minute there I was like, ‘Oh my God, the worst has happened!’ Phew!”

You and Emily both looked at each other with a sigh of relief.

Derek stood behind Will in the mirror, smoothing down his tux. “See, that wasn’t so scary was it? You put on a tuxedo!”

Will laughed nervously, looking at his reflection, “No... I guess not.”

Spencer smiled, “See, just a little bit at a time.”

“So what‘s the next little bit?”

Derek and Spencer looked nervously at each other, knowing they had to choose their next words very carefully.

“Just uh,” Derek stammered, “Getting married-“

Will let out a girl-like shriek, putting his head in his hands.

“W-woah, relax! You can do it! Just like you’ve done everything else!”

He lifted his head, nodding at Spencer’s words. “You’re right... I can do it. Just excuse me for a minute,” he sighed walking towards the door.

The men shared a skeptical look before Will added, “I’m not gonna run away again! I just need some fresh air.”

The boys reluctantly let Will out of the door and he paced the halls, trying to let all the nerves out. Hearing familiar voices around the corner, Will walked into one of the empty rooms on his left, trying not to be seen. The last thing he needed was to run into JJ in her dress before they were married and ruin this day even more than he almost already did. He soon recognized the voices as Y/N and Emily.

“I just cant believe JJ is pregnant! We gotta make sure we don’t say that too loud in here, you know they frown on that,” Emily said, referring to the church.

Pregnant?! How could it be? They used protection every single time?

All Will could hear was your humorless chuckles and wordless responses to what Emily was saying.

When your voices were gone, he popped his panicked head out of the door and started pacing the other way.

“Hey...” Derek nervously laughed as he entered the bridal suite. He was met with the eyes of JJ’s family members and gave them all a quick wave. “Have any of you seen Will?”

Penelope was fixing her hair in the mirror and quickly turned around, “I thought he was with you!”

Suddenly everyone’s attention was on Derek. “Well... he was,” he awkwardly looked around. “We’re playing a game of hide and seek.”

Penelope’s shoulders relaxed, “Well you can’t ask us, Chocolate Thunder! That’s cheating!” She turned back around scoffing, to continue pulling at little pieces of hair to frame her face. The rest of the room was clearly uncomfortable.

Derek gritted his teeth, “You’re right. Thanks for keeping me honest, Babygirl...” he smiled at the rest of JJ’s family, trying to make sure they didn’t suspect anything.

Walking towards Penelope to tell her Will was actually missing, he immediately came to a halt as JJ and Emily walked in the room.

“JJ, you look beautiful,” he smiled, giving her a hug.

She hugged him tightly and thanked him before asking, “How’s Will?”

Derek paused.

“Great. He’s doing great. Don’t you worry about Will!” he nervously chuckled before turning his attention back to the other side of the room. “Penelope, Emily, will you help me with something outside?”

The girls nodded and followed him out, Penelope closing the door behind them.

“Will is gone again!”

“Oh my God!” Penelope cried, “Why would you play hide and seek with someone you know is a flight risk!”

Derek rolled his eyes before turning his head and seeing the man of the hour walking with a small gift bag.

“Hey- There he is!”

“What-“

Without thinking Derek sprinted towards the man, tackling him on the floor. “You’re not getting away this time-“

“What are you talking about- I’m not trying to leave! I-I know about JJ.” He groaned, pushing Morgan off of him and standing up.

“You know?” Emily asked in disbelief.

“Know what?” Garcia chimed in, matching Derek’s expression of confusion.

“I heard you and Y/N talking...” Will answered.

“Talking about what?” questioned Derek, looking around confusingly.

“Oh my God... You know.” Emily whispered.

“Can someone tell us what the hell is going on right now-“ Penelope exclaimed.

“JJ’s pregnant.”

The pair looked at each other in shock, and broke out in smiles as Will pulled out a tiny onesie.

“Anything this tiny can’t be so scary.”

The ceremony had begun and all the guests had taken their seats. Rossi took his rightful spot in the center, being that he would be the one to officiate the wedding. Will was accompanied by his parents down the aisle and one after the other, the bridesmaids and the groomsman met in the middle and followed. It went Emily and Hotch, Derek and Penelope and then it was time for you to meet Spencer. It was the first time you had seen each other dressed up. The day had been so hectic you hadn’t had the chance to run into one another. He looked handsome in his suit, his hair so perfectly messy, and it took everything in you to not sprint over to him and run your hands through it.

Spencer was speechless, He couldn’t help but smile at the sight of you walking towards him to meet in the aisle. You looked gorgeous in your light blue bridesmaid dress that hugged you perfectly. Your hair was pulled back on the sides, a few pieces hanging and your makeup was elegantly placed, highlighting all the features he loved.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered as you met up and linked arms. The blush spread through your cheeks like a wildfire and you prayed the camera couldn’t pick it up.

“Thank you,” you whispered back. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

As it came time to part from him, you slowly unlinked your arms and walked to your respective sides, but not before giving his hand a gentle squeeze. He smiled at that.

JJ had walked out and tears were brought to not only Will’s eyes, but everyone else’s. She looked gorgeous and you couldn’t help but feel ecstatic for her as you knew she had been waiting for this moment her whole life.

Rossi had soon announced them husband and wife and everyone had cheered as they kissed one another. It was truly a moment of bliss.

“I love you,” Will whispered while cupping JJ’s cheek, “and I know about the baby too.”

“What baby?” JJ laughed.

“Our baby.”

“We have a baby?”

“Emily found your pregnancy test in the bathroom-“

JJ looked at him confused, “I didn’t take a pregnancy test...”

“Then who did?”

You, Emily and Penelope stared at the two in awe.

“Just look at them, they’re so happy.” Emily gushed.

“And they’re gonna have a baby!” Penelope smiled.

You nodded nervously, the wave of nausea hitting you like a ton of bricks.

“Wait- Penelope knows now too?!”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds au #friends #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #mgg #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds friends au

141 notes · View notes