#like in timed essays i just fuckin go for it cos i know i have to and its okay if its not perfects

[wings-of-angels]

The executive dysfunction is going hard today 😔

[champagnebrock]

you should be sad | one

SERIES MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

SUMMARY — caught up grading essays you end up being late to get home, your husband isn’t too pleased. a short conversation with your ex (who called from your dad’s phone) ends with a physical altercation which you decide is the last straw.

PAIRING — fem!reader x angel reyes

WORD COUNT — 3,451

WARNINGS — abuse, violence, strong language, mentions of blood, reader gets a glass thrown at her head, loss of a job, manipulation, mentions of alcohol abuse and drug use.

NOTES — so, this is a x reader fic, but you have a nickname (tok/tokyo) which will be explained a bit later (just wanted to clear that up so no one was confused)

POSTED — 08/22/21

CHAPTER ONE: free

—"HAVE A GOOD NIGHT TOKYO!" your co-worker shouts, waving as you pass her room.

you step back and wave, "night meg!"

you keep walking, adjusting the strap of you bag. you check your watch, six-fifteen.  shit shit shit. i'm so fuckin' late. once out in the parking lot, you pick up your pace even more, all but sprinting to your car. you should've just packed up your students essays at four like you planned, but you'd gotten distracted by two particularly good essays. when you finally looked back up again, it was six.

you packed your things at the speed of light, and then booked it, only slowing down to pass your co-worker's open doors. you speed nearly all the way home, shortening the thirty minute drive to fifteen. you pull into your driveway and fear shoots through your entire body as you catch a glimpse of your husband's porsche sitting in the driveway.

i'm so dead. dinner is not cooked and you weren't home when he arrived. instinctively, you touch the fading bruise on your wrist from the last time you'd been late. grabbing your bags from the seat beside you, you scramble toward the house, hitting the lock button on your key fob as you go. you carefully open the front door, your rottweiler dog ares bounding down the steps just inside the door, excited to see you.

he skids to a stop, plopping down on the carpet a few feet from you as you take off your shoes. you dump your things on the floor, and sink to your knees patting them so signal ares he's allowed to come to you. he barks once excitedly, and you wince, hearing a chair scrape heavily against the linoleum as ares nuzzles his face into your neck.

ares is solely your dog. you'd gotten him before you'd gotten married to dominic three years ago. well, partly true, you'd gotten him with your ex, and as much as your ex loved ares he felt like it made more sense for you to keep sole custody of ares because he was rarely ever home. dom absolutely hated ares and that has a lot to do with how protective over you ares is.

when things turned violent with dom, you felt as though ares was a god send. the minute dom even raised his voice, ares had his lip pulled back in a snarl. you loved ares with your whole heart. dom steps into the hallway, his tie askew, his hair messy and his dress shirt sleeve pushed up to his elbows.

"why are you so late?" he demands, stepping toward you and ares. ares has turned on dom—sensing like every other time that dom is drunk—his unclipped tail high, and his ears forward. dom steps back, nearly tripping over his own feet.

you stand up straight, "i got caught up with grading some essays,"

"sure you did," dom scoffs, rolling his eyes. "i was home an hour ago, no dinner, no phone call... i work my ass off to maintain your "lifestyle" and you can't even give me the courtesy of a phone call, really y/n?"

you so badly want to point out that the only reason his porsche hasn't been repoed yet is because you've been covering payments. the only reason that the power hasn't been cut off, is because you've taken a second job to cover the other half of the bills. your "lifestyle" is not the issue. him having lost his job a year and a half ago is the problem.

"i'm sorry," is what you reply instead, knowing that if you bend to his will you might actually get a few hours of sleep tonight. "what would you like for dinner? i think we have steaks in the fridge."

"i'm not hungry now y/n." he snaps, crossing his arms over his chest. "i was hungry an hour ago, i ordered a pizza, which you can pay me back for,"

"right, okay, sorry. how much was it?" you ask, digging in the pocket of your dress, producing a fifty dollar bill. before you can search your other pocket for smaller bills, dom snatches it from your hand.

"this'll do, cover the emotional distress as well," he replies, shoving it into his pocket, and turns on his heels heading back into the kitchen. likely to make himself another drink.

you take a deep breath, and ares calms down as well. nuzzling his face into your lowered hand, you look down at him, and crack a small smile. you lower yourself, "you're the only man i need," you whisper kissing his nose. he licks your face and you groan softly, standing up again.

you scoop up your bags and head upstairs to your room to change into pj's. you had a late lunch, eating while you're students finished up their essays last period so you're not hungry quite yet. you take the steps two at a time, ares following closely behind you, stopping every few steps to glance behind him to see if dom will follow. he doesn't. which you're thankful for.

after a quick outfit change you plop down at your desk in yours and dom's shared office, though he never spends any time in here anymore. you place your cellphone on the wireless changer on the edge of your desk and pull the stack of essays out of your work bag. with your reading glasses perched on your nose you set to work.

after grading three or so essays, your phone begins to ring. the distinct sound of your adopted dad, bishop's favourite song, here i go again by whitesnake filling your once silent office. you can't help but smile, every friday night at ten bishop always makes sure to either send you a check-in text or if he has a couple more moments to spare, a phone call.

you pick up, "hey you,"

"tokyo!" a voice shouts into the receiver, a familiar voice, but not bishop's.

"angel?" you ask, pulling your glasses off your nose. "why are you caling? why are you calling from bishop's phone?"

"i just—" he's drunk. you sigh, elbows resting on your desk as you rub your forehead with your free hand. "i miss you," he hiccups and you feel your heart break a little.

you feel ares shift, perking up at the sound of angel's voice through the phone. he recognizes his dad's voice. you don't reply. you hear a bit of a ruckus on the line, shouting and then you hear bishop's voice.

"hey kid," comes bishop's voice.

"hey, what's up with him?" you ask, glancing out the open office door.

noise travels in your house, chances are if you can hear the tv, dom can hear you. you're surprised your voice calling out 'angel' hadn't caused dom to stomp up the stairs and rip your phone from your hand.

"club party, got a little too loaded, i left my phone and you know how he is when he's like this," bishop sighs, the exhaustion evident in his voice. "sorry,"

"don't be, it was kinda nice to hear his voice," you whisper, and bishop lets out a bark of laughter.

"well, while i have you on the line, how's work? how are you? how's my favourite grandson?"

"works good, i'm grading final assignments right now, then i'm done. i'm okay, kinda tired, but okay. and ares' is good, taught him a new trick on sunday,"

"oh? what trick did you teach him," bishop asks.

"ares can now close and open doors by himself," you reply, and bishop chuckles.

"what next kid? gonna teach him to talk?" he questions and you giggle.

"i think he's got that skill mastered bish," you reply, lowing the phone down to ares, "say hi to grandpa,"

ares lets out a short series of soft barks that almost sound like 'hi grandpa' and you hear bishop laughing hysterically on the other end.

"that's fuckin' trippy mija, almost sounded like he said it,"

"yeah he's gettin' good at that," you say, leaning back in your chair.

"well i gotta go chase down angel, he's gettin a little too— angel! get back from the fire! angel! ang— prospect! grab your brother! sorry tok, i gotta go!" with that the line goes dead.

you let out a breath-y laugh, and set your phone back down on the charger. you pick up your pen, and glance up at the open office door. dom's leaning against the doorframe, glass full of scotch in his hand. even though he's leaning, he sways slightly, the ice in his cup clinking.

"you were talking to angel?" dom questions, eyes never leaving your face as he takes a swig from his glass.

blonde hair longer then he normally keeps it, shaggy around his face, long bangs hanging in his blood shot brown eyes. he's not just drunk. the drinking makes his anger explosive, the drugs make him paranoid. up until dom lost his job you'd only ever seen him get explosively mad one time, that anger hadn't even been directed at you. he'd lost it on some guy making you uncomfortable in a bar. then, he got into the drugs, which made him volatile, and his anger was now always directed at you. something made him think you were cheating, so, he'd started isolating you. the only man you were allowed to talk to was bishop—who was as good as the only family you had.

you'd had to cut out angel, your ex, and one of your best friends. you also had to cut out his younger brother ez, who'd you only ever seen like a younger brother. there were so many connections and relationships you'd been robbed of since dom had lost his mind. dom is sick, that's evident. you should've left the first time he hit you, but you couldn't. he'd managed to fool you into thinking it was a one time thing.

then, the next week you'd found out he lost his job. not from dom, but one of your co-workers who worked with dom. it was a shock, but suddenly the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place. when you came home that night, you confronted him, and you were met with a handful of jabs about your job. you were also met with a few jabs literally. he'd punched you in the face for raising your voice at him. it was around that time that dom started locking ares outside, or in a room when he wanted to yell, realizing that the one man dom couldn't take from you was the one keeping you just slightly out of reach.

you blindly reach for your phone, opening the voice recording app and hitting record. you keep your eyes down, attempting to play it off as just fiddling. it works. dom doesn't even register that you've even got the phone in your hands. he just stares at you expectantly. you shove your phone into your pocket, and look up, lacing your fingers together and giving him your attention.

"not really, he called— he stole bishop's phone, bishop took it. i just got off the phone with bishop," you reply, stumbling over your words.

there's an aura of calmness that exudes from dom, his voice is barely a whisper, and even though there's the clink, clink, clink, of the ice in his drink, you catch a small glimpse of the man you used to love. the man you married. not this possessive monster in your husbands body. however, just as you see dom, that man disappears.

"how is angel?" dom spits, and your whole body immediately tenses at the venom leaking from each hate filled word.

"i uhm, i don't know." you mutter, eyes moving away from dom's face and towards the glass in his hand.

dom's knuckles are turning white, and it takes exactly .2 seconds for you to realize what's coming next. you don't duck in time, the glass hitting you in the eye and then dropping to the floor shattering into millions of little pieces. a few of the shards embed in your legs, and you're just glad that ares isn't still laying at your feet. he's up on his feet, stalking slowly toward dom, his lip curled up showcasing his sharp white teeth, herding him out of the room.

you're in absolute shock. maybe you shouldn't be, you've been dealing with this for months. up until this exact instant, dom had never thrown anything at you. he never hit you with anything. you'd never feared for your life... until now that is. you feel blood trickle down your face.

"you can't stay in there forever!" dom shouts, he's in the hallway, staring right at you.

"what is the matter with you?!" you shout back, all the pent up anger, frustration and sadness pouring out of your mouth before you even have a chance to think about what you're saying, what kind of damage you're about to cause. "you have no damn right to throw shit at me because of a ten second interaction,"

he looks taken aback, "what did you just say?"

he shoves ares aside with his foot and marches into the room, slamming the door in your dogs face. you hear ares being to bark and growl at the closed door. you're going to stand your ground. a year and a half is long enough. you're leaving, tonight. be it in a body bag or of your own volition. you slam your fists down on the table, standing up using your socked feet to drag the glass to once side of the floor before standing up.

"i said, you don't get to throw shit at me." you snarl through gritted teeth, your eye throbbing in pain. "i am a person, with feelings. just because you lost your job, and feel like a worthless sack of shit doesn't give you the right to lay your hands on me, or make me feel less then dom,"

"oh you're in for it now you little bitch," he sneers, and lunges at you, but do to his intoxication, you're easily able to duck out of his reach.

you make a mad dash for the door, but end up slipping just before you reach the door. you hit the floor, and it knocks all the wind out of your lungs. that's when you realize in the seconds it's taken you to recover, dom's gotten a hold of your leg and is dragging you back from the door. he drags you away from the door, and drops his whole weight on top of you. you glance around, looking for anything to get your hands on. you being screaming, hoping, praying one of your neighbours will hear. you catch a glimpse of a larger chunk of the glass. if you could just distract him long enough...

"dom let me go!" you shout, wiggling your whole body underneath him, unfortunately for you he's got probably a hundred pounds on you. "get off of me! get off of me you prick!"

you smack at his chest, scratching your decently long nails at him in any attempt to get him off. you can guess what his play is, choke the life out of you. then it dawns on you, hit him where it hurts. literally. so, while he's distracted trying to grab hold of both your hands, you use all your strength to punch him directly in the balls. dom lets out a yelp, his eyes rolling back as he slides off you to left. you roll over, grabbing the glass shard and immediately push yourself up onto your feet. you hold it out in front of you, slowly circling him, and using your free hand to feel for the door knob.

"you stay away from me dom, this "marriage" is over. i'm leaving, tonight." you say, and he just groans.

you open the door, step out into the hallway, and then close the door behind you. you have ares sit in front of the door so you can cross the hallway to pack a few things. you hear ares growl and snap at the door every few minutes, and then the door click shut again. you change out of your pyjamas and into a black henley, a pair of black skinny jeans and your favourite leather jacket bishop had gotten you when you were fifteen.

you'd been denied the things you used to love for so long that finding yourself wearing clothes you'd promised dom you'd thrown away years ago is weird. this outfit had been such a comfort to you over the years, and now, it feels foreign. you hadn't worn skinny jeans in years, opting mainly for flowery dresses because you needed formal-causal clothes for work. your style had been suppressed by dom for so long that you almost feel weird wearing these clothes now. you'd started wearing less "biker-slut" (dom's exact words, not yours) clothes and more "respectable attire". you dressed like dom's friends wives. a style that when you were seventeen you and angel had made fun of.

"they all look the same," angel had laughed, and you nodded, "suburban mom chic, you'd never catch me dead in that shit!" you'd responded. you don't dwell on that though, you just shove the things you need into your duffle and pull on a pair of old combat boots you'd had hidden in the back of your closet. as you get ready, you begin to realize you'd hidden a lot of things from dom even in the beginning of your marriage. maybe you should've clued in then, but you were in love. it took him physically putting his hands on you to realize how manipulative dom was.

you'd been smoking since you were twelve, a bad habit, one you'd always tried to kick but being with dom made you anxious—even in the beginning—so you began secretly smoking. anxious that he'd see your flaws and decide you weren't worth the hassle. you'd even stopped speaking spanish, a language you grew up speaking. not your mother-tongue, but one you'd been taught by bishop, angel, ez and their parents. a language you loved. dom didn't speak spanish, so you'd never had anyone around to speak it to except ares. you catch a glimpse of yourself in the window, and find yourself smirking.

you don't see twenty-seven year old you in your reflection. you see seventeen year old you. long dark hair a mess, blood streaked on your face, a growing black eye, all black clothes. you used to be a force of chaos, no one dared to even glance at you wrong. now, you don't know who that girl even was. she seems like a completely different person. you remember being such a firecracker, always getting into fights with people twice your size and nearly always coming out on top, and now, now, you're fleeing from your home in the middle of the night with your tail between your legs because your husband couldn't keep his damn hands to himself.

seventeen year old you would be incredibly disappointed in you. seventeen year old you would've killed dom the first time he hit you. however, you're not seventeen year old you. what you are, is scared, alone, and hoping you hadn't burnt too many bridges in the name of your "love" for dom. you turn away from your reflection and take your wedding ring off. you set it on his bedside table, and then you grab ares' favourite toys, and head down the hallway. dom peaks his head out of the office, and ares snarls.

"you're making a big mistake!" he says.

"the mistake was staying to begin with," you snap back, continuing on your path.

you walk down the stairs, your students essays long forgotten as you head into the kitchen and grab the coffee can you'd secretly been stuffing money into since before you'd gotten married. then you head out into the night, whistling for ares. he trots down the steps, and out of the house into the passenger side of your car as you wait. you can hear dom stumbling to make it to the door, and you just close the door and round your car.

you slide into the driver's seat, and turn the car on. dom comes running out, waving something in the air, you don't stop. you just back your car out of the driveway. if you drive all night you'll make it to santo padre by six or seven am. you glance at ares, smiling, slightly to yourself. we're free. you think, turning on the radio and turning it up.

[microcroft]

Speaking of Merlin fics, if you don't mind, do you have any recommendations? I'd really appreciate it since Big ADHD means I have little patience for finding good ones -.-'

okay this was sent back in april but tumblr is garbage and i didn't see i had any new messages until right now?? im so sorry Anyway i fuckin get that my dude, except like my adhd does the opposite specifically with merlin fanfiction for the past year which has been my hyperfixation and i have been using to cope with a multitude of issues so you are in luck (if you still want recommendations) because i created a collection of my favorite fics that i am adding to a lot because i read a, quite frankly, concerning amount of merlin fics (there are some non merlin/arthur in it but its mostly merlin/arthur fics)

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/bestfunnylittlemagictwinkfics but more specifically, the ones that immediately come to mind are the long but very good ones that live rent free in my mind, in no particular order, there are a bunch in the collection which are just as good but I am really tired right now and dont want to make this post extremely long so I just want to make sure you (and whoever else may be reading this) know about these ones:

Born of Magic - "Set after 1x13. When Arthur learns he is of magic, he decides it's time to grow out of Uther's shadows. Secrets are revealed, and Arthur comes to learn just how far his father is willing to go in his war against magic. With Merlin on his side, can Arthur build the kingdom he was destined to create?" Arthur has his own cool special brand of Once and Future King magic, merlin also he is adopted by a unicorn.

Para Bellum - "After Merlin goes missing, Arthur forges new alliances to repel a deadly threat to Camelot. Nothing will stop Arthur from finding Merlin, and nothing will stop Merlin from protecting Arthur -- no matter the cost." I will never get enough married Merlin and Arthur fics and this is

The Care and Keeping of Camelot - "With Arthur dead, Camelot's destiny has soured--if it was ever any good to begin with. Gwen is fed up with grief and mediocrity and takes matters into her own hands, returning to the start to make a better Camelot or break history trying. Knighthood, rekindling her first love, and Merlin's silly almanac are all just byproducts." Post Canon Gwen is sent back in time by Merlin fix Camelot using what they learned. Featuring Morgana and Gwen having homoerotic sword fighting lessons and Merlin and Gwen's mlm/wlw solidarity.

For Want of A Nail- "Fleeing from Essetir in the bloody beginnings of the Purge, Hunith finds herself on the doorstep of old friends. That's all it takes to untangle the skeins of destiny and weave a new tapestry." Canon rewrite set in an alternate universe where Merlin grows up with Leon as his adoptive big brother, he has a very good dog, he and Leon give morgana a puppy for her birthday (very important to me), there's a whole lot of pagan rituals (which i fucking love), and merlin is a badass with a staff and throwing knives.

pretty much every CaffeinatedFlumadiddle merlin fic I have read, they are genuine comedic gold and so fucking well written it blows my mind. but out of all of their fics my faves are: Calling the Middle Man (Lancelot's characterization in my head is now entirely based upon this fic) and Thick as Sorcerers (the cat scene had me dying, and also gwen and elyan's dynamic in this fic is so fucking good)

Next to You (It's The Rule) - In which Merlin and Arthur are pining for each other and basically married, and everyone knows it, Merlin is a little shit, and all of Camelot and other kingdoms love him and see him as their ruler because he is honestly running half the kindom. Merlin and Arthur cant cope with being separated from each other, and when they get into a fight the whole kingdom goes into a panic.

(how do i do a secondary bullet???) (i really do love this fic so much, i love reading merlin and arthur being dumbasses together and co-running camelot and the majority of this fic is so unique, funny and like exactly what i look for in fics, so please dont brush it off just based off of this but i want to state that im not a fan of the genuinely-calling-merlin-queen bit. it was funny at the beginning but it did get taken a bit too far at the end in my opinion. i get that it is fantasy medieval times and it makes sense that people probably dont quite grasp that there can be two kings, i could write a whole essay on this topic but in the end it does make me feel uncomfortable, a bit like forcing heteronormativity when you dont have to because its fantasy medieval times not actual medieval times, and misgendering- it honestly did trigger my dysphoria a bit at the end but there is so much in this fic that is so good I can't not recommend it.)

okay there we go im cutting myself off now. if you want any more fics or to talk about merlin at all hmu i mostly just send shit to my friend who has never watched the show but probably has an extensive knowledge on it just from the shit i have been sending her like every day for the past year lmao.

[sleepymccoy]

Aziraphale’s demon aspect

As voted by 246 people!

The winner is

Owl

with nearly 26% of the primary vote

many people added in their free form answers that they were imagining a barn owl specifically

Owl was the front runner the whole way through this survey, but most of the time by a very beatable margin. The 40 or so people who voted in the last night really tipped it over, it was a tight race! And the results are crazy split imo, a quarter of votes constitutes a win! I love the different opinions and ideas we all have so so much

Ram/sheep came in a hearty second with 16.5% of the vote

A very regal demon there.

After that it gets a little murky, so I’m going to share the second graph I made when is every animal that got more than 1% of the vote. So it’s the top six animals

Magpie and Lion holding strong! Then Moth and Goat looking very good

The second question let you vote for as many options as you thought were appropriate for Aziraphale! So, there were a lot more write-ins! It’s crazy!

I’m using google sheets so I can’t get it to show you every name, but the raw data will be in a read more so you can scroll through everyone’s beautiful imagination there

Again, Owl winds with a solid 20% of the vote. Ram/Sheep coming in with about 15%, followed by Moth, Magpie, Goat, Lion, then Tortoise.

Tortoise was 11th in the first round, tied with Snake (but pale), and managed to surprise me by coming through so strong in the second. Slow and steady, baby.

Nearly everyone who wrote in about Magpies told me that Magpies hoard stuff, so it’s nice to see the hive mind at work there!

Five people told me they were voting goat because of that one piece of art by @hollow-head​ that shows Aziraphale scaling a bookshelf like goats do cliffs. As an artist myself I found it legitimately moving that this one image had stayed with people so strongly. That’s just beautiful. Here’s an example of just one person’s comment

idk dude i just remember one person posted art of him scaling the bookstore shelves like those goats scale mountains and just eating his clothes while he reads it was so fuckin funny but anyway goat eyes are great or he could have lil stubby horns that r covered by his hair

One moth enthusiast took the time to give me a short essay on their choice of moth. I have included a portion of it, cos it was so great

So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Here’s a flannel moth for everyone

and a poodle moth, which i honestly thought was a hoax but i looked into it just now and it seems legit? There’s not a tonne of proof, but the og pictures are from a scientists who stands by them, so like, wow

And then a DIFFERENT PERSON put this in;

the moth i had in mind is Acherontia atropos, in polish called Zmierzchnica trupia główka (meaning more or less "dusk death's head"). i have a whole symbolism planned out and stuff 

Fucking, moth fandom come through!!

I’m vaguely scared of moths, fun fact. I don’t like the thick thunking sound they make when they hit stuff.

Here is the second round but with all the animals that got four or less votes removed for ease of viewing

the one segment there at 12 o’clock that google hasn’t labeled for me is Swan at 0.9%

I cannot believe I didn’t put swan in as an option, that’s all write-ins

So, to summarise, I suggest you take a lot of this with a grain of salt. It is not meant as an instruction to fandom or to railroad creativity. I have a narrow corner of the Good Omens fandom that I interact with, and while this quiz was up for a week I’m not sure it reached a great variety of people. About 250 folks filled it out, which was tonnes more than I expected and I love each and every one of you for filling it out!! But I have noticed that Owl was first on my list and in the free form answers the example prompt I gave included, “such as a breed of owl that specifically speaks to you,“ so I think it’s possible I did that unknowing bias thing that practiced survey folk know now to do. So, grain of salt.

I also think that if animals like Swan and Cat were in the list of options they’d’ve gotten more votes because the people who voted for those were coming up with it fresh themselves. I suspect people would’ve voted for them, but it just didn’t occur to them in the moment. In much the same way it didn’t occur to me in the moment I was writing this survey.

So people know, I got the ten or so animals that I put in the survey from searching the demon!aziraphale tag on tumblr, so it was all stuff that other people had come up with. I was trying to avoid my own bias, but i think in hindsight i could’ve done better!

Having said all that, this was all so much fun and the results are clear!!! Love a good owl!aziraphale

Imma continue to draw my boy as a ram, though. Cos this was all just for a laugh <3

numbers and a few more things under the cut

So some of these have half a vote ascribed to them. That’s for people who in their freeform answer said things like this;

ngl, that one post about him being a swan still makes me laugh

Mourning Dove. Though that Scallop answer was fucking brilliant

And I kinda made a judgement call that that wasn’t a vote, but it was kind of a vote. So I gave them half a point.

There were a few situations where people would write in a specific species. If I got more than one vote for the root animal I just grouped them together, but if it stayed the only vote then it kept the species. Cat got the most specific species mentioned, and in the second vote Bat had a few species mentioned (albino bat being my fave), but I ended up grouping them all just under Cat and Bat to give them a better chance of getting on the graph. There were probably a few other examples but I can’t think of them. The one exception to this is the person who wrote-in Duolingo Owl specifically. For that one I figured Owl is already pretty solid, and that’s just fucking funny, man

I was also pretty generous about some stuff. So, this person didn’t vote for Moose but they clearly regretted it so I added a vote for Moose in the second one where you could vote for multiples. They kept their Ram and Goat votes, of course, but I added Moose for them

I get very bastard energy from my demon az headcanons. Like f-ing shit up for a laugh more than anything, but otherwise indifferent. That's kinda why I like the ram/sheep/goat thing so much because it reminds me of indifference and random chaos. Or a moose. Shit, I should have written in moose

So yeah, it’s hardly a double blind study that’d stand up to any real criticism, but it was fun and I think the essence of it is fun!! Scroll through and have a read. Imma pull a few more of my fave write-ins and put them down the bottom cos it’s great. Esp the ones that only got one vote, the reasonings were stellar on some of those

Here is the first vote results, where everyone could only vote for one animal each

Owl 63 Ram/Sheep 40 Magpie 28 Lion 26 Moth 21 Goat 17 Swan 4 Eagle 4 Dove 4 Cat 4 Tortoise 3 Snake 3 Scallop 2 Rat 2 Rabbit 2 Mongoose 2 Badger 2 Shima Enaga 1 Shark 1 Porcupine 1 Orangutan 1 Mouse 1 Long Furby 1 Hippopotomaus 1 Goose 1 Duck 1 Dragon 1 Cow 1 Cereberus 1 Boar 1 Bee 1 Bat 1 Alpaca 1

Second Vote results, where everyone could vote for as many as they wanted

Owl1 82 Ram/Sheep 136 Moth 108.5 Magpie 98 Goat 96 Lion 72 Tortoise 61 Snake 37 Eagle 33 Cat 9.5 Swan 7.5 Lizard 4 Rabbit 4 Badger 3 Mongoose 2 Dove 2 Mouse 2 Squirrel 2 Bear 2 Raccoon 2 Capybara 2 Dragon 2 Bat 1 Long Furby 1 Rat 1 Boar 1 Goose 1 Peacock 1 Pangolin 1 Lindworm 1 Moose 1 Chinchilla 1 Duolingo Owl 1 Cackatoo 1 Crow 1 Cow 1 Alpaca 1  Dodo 1 Shark 1 Big Dog 1 Snow Leopard 1 Scallop 0.5

All voting was optional. To help explain how scallop lost 1.5 votes from first to second, I believe the people who voted for it in the first question just skipped the second cos they’d said their bit.

In terms of how many people engaged with the questions, Q1 had 245 answers and one skip. Q2 had 241 answers and 5 skips, and Q3 where I just let people talk at me if they wanted to had 84 answers and 162 skips.

So please enjoy my selection of free form answers. They all made me smile but putting all 84 in seems excessive to me, so I’ve chosen the ones that are either full blown mini essays or that make me laugh. It’s still a lot, this project brought me so much joy

-

Shima enaga - It's the hair man

Cow (aka golden calf)

Scallop. He is a snack.

Swan. Elegant but very capable of fscking you up. Mates for life.

basically anything that is both gentle in nature and fiercely loyal, territorial and protective (but prone to anxiety). Also hedonistic esp. with food. For all of these reasons, I think a dog would be the best choice.

Dragon with his hoard of books

it’s about the teeth. just too sharp and too many to be human. (comment from op here, this person voted for shark, just for context)

Turkish Angora cat. Magnificently fluffy, incredibly intelligent, love heights and will jump off crazy high things and land on your head, gloriously dignified until they see a string and run into a wall, love one or maybe two persons to distraction and want everyone else to fuck off, will drape themselves over their person’s shoulders and go to sleep, range from “will jump in the sea to hunt fish and has a murder pit full of seagulls they’ve massacred” to “will fall over at the sight of a baby bird”, very particular about food and will yell at you if you get it wrong. Also the breed that some asshole took three cats from and bred parent to child to make Persians. The cautionary tale has been acknowledged and we love our crazy smart, single braincelled children.

I usually imagine him as an owl because they are nocturnal (and we know that Aziraphale can easily stay awake the whole night reading). Also the image of an owl puffed up is kind of ridiculous and reminds me of him, of how an annoyed Aziraphale would look. However the options above have made me think that a lion would suit him very well, too. A lion or just a very BIG cat. I mean, he makes pleading eyes to get what he wants, likes to be confortable, is a bit of a bastard and often puts himself in awkward situations from which he needs to be rescued. He just... acts very cat-like in my opinion. Also owls and cats are both predators, but are usually imagined (or, at least cats are) as cute little creatures, just like Aziraphale is an Angel of the Lord (a Warrior, actually) but looks all soft and cute and huggable. I dunno. Maybe I just want to pet an Aziracat.

I love all the other people's thoughts about demon!Aziraphale, but what about the honey badger? I try to explain why I have it in mind for demon!azi: its name (I think it's funny, expecially in English because 'honey' can make you imagine it's something sweet (it is for me), while the 'bad' in badger can be an alarm bell (like 'be careful! It is not like it seems!')); its face (ok, who can say its face isn't cute? I think, and hope, nobody can, and like the name, it is a misunderstanding: as always, be careful, it's not like it seems!, I think demons can say something about demon!azi as like "you don't seem like a 'good' demon, you can't be, your face (animal and human) is too f-ing disgusting sweet to be a demon!", I think maybe even angel!crowley, at the beginning, can think something like this ("how in the world somebody so cute like you can be a demon?"), then he discovered how demon!azi can be a very talented demon sometimes, but in Crowley's mind azi is still his little cutie angry furry); its furry's colour (black=demon, white/grey/silver/idkitsname= color of demon!azi's wings, because even if he fell, I can't say no to his white wings 😭); it is a snake's predator (and in my mind angel!crowley is still a snake); its solitary life (demon!aziraphale is alone and he doesn't mind it, unless it's angel!crowley we're talking about, then our cute demon minds it); its behaviour (demon!azi, even if he's cute, can be a really very talented demon: honey badger is fearless and dangerous, it can fight bigger animals if there aren't other chances and it can't escape); its skin is very tough (except for a soft/safe spot, behind its neck if I remember well, that only angel!Crowley knows and sometimes he uses it to calm demon!azi down or make azi do some good deeds); its diet (it has a sweet-thooth, for honey in primis, but it can eat everything it wants... Doesn't it resemble demon!azi?); it's smart (search for Stoffle on your browser if you don't know)... Ok,I think I finish, sorry for the novel 😅

I tend to think of animals that meet three criteria: (1) they exemplify “faults” in his character exaggerated to “sins”—gluttony, greed/hoarding, sloth, (2) they are species that favor fawning or flight as a defense mechanism but can also be bold on occasion, and (3) blend very well or have a keen affinity with human society, specifically thriving in urban (i.e., city) environments. This is mostly because I can’t see “Aziraphale” in a reverse AU that doesn’t preserve some of his core traits as an angel (a little hedonistic, hoarding, anxious, etc.). So I like city-dwelling bastard animals with bonus points for relation to scripture, like a rock dove or a fox or an owl.

Owls aren't  smart, and the pedant in me says not an owl. But, thinking on it, demon aspect, owls are perceived as smart, but designed as deadly silent predators, patient and solitary. So actually demon Aziraphale could take on more owlish aspects. I just like cockatoo better, since they are smart, and showy. Or a crow, although that does amusing things with Crowleys name.

god imagining him as a chimera is !!! (comment from op, there was this odd flurry of mythical animals being voted for one night. i think the survey hit a corner of fandom that leans that way. there was also dragon, another chimera, a griffon, and a lindworm all at the same rough time)

Magpies are great because they’re cute and fluff themselves up (go look at Sophie the magpie) and like hoarding their favorite things but also I’ve watched one just straight up kill another bird before because corvids are sneaky little bastards with no lack of a mean streak if they’re crossed

It’s the duolingo owl, I’m so sorry op but it just is. I genuinely don’t mean to clown on your post, but this take was delivered to me in a sleep induced haze and I believe it’s the god given truth. Demon Aziraphale WOULD try to make you learn a dead language and he’d go about it in a vaguely threatening way (comment from op, you’re so fucking right dude. also, shit like this is made for clowning, i’m with you 100%)

When choosing a demon aspect for a Aziraphale, I usually tried to keep in mind the artistic tradition of which animals are linked with demons. The Good Omens team seems to have drawn inspiration from that source because all the animals we do see are either reptilian or insectoid. Those species were often shown inhabiting hellish landscapes in Renaissance and Baroque paintings. However, Aziraphale never struck me as cold or slimy or hard like an exoskeleton. So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Ok so the only reason I pick magpie is because those bastards are smart as hell but also know how and when to inconvenience the shit out of you, and if you gain their trust then they're absolute darlings but if they decide "nah, dont like ya" then you're basically done and you'll wake up every morning with shit on your car window. I also chose sheep/ram cuz I mean... idk it suits him. I don't remember my other choice but I'm sure I had a good reason.

I feel like a barn owl would suit him well but I'm not really sure why, I also think that a moth would suit him really well because of the whole "moth to a flame" thing and as a demon he would have gotten burned because of that attitude.

I write a reverse AU fic called Lambs to the Slaughter where Aziraphale's demonic aspect is an albino sheep! I imagine him as a mix between a wild Argali ram and the first woolly domestics. I chose an Argali because they're the largest species of wild sheep, but I wanted him to have traits of a domestic breed because he obtains his animal aspect from a sheep in Abel's flock which would be several generations down from the original wild species in Eden. I really think a sheep suits Aziraphale! They're an incredibly common animal and have been since they were first domesticated. Likewise, since the start of human history, Aziraphale has been living side-by-side with humans, providing for them, and protecting them. Due to how common they are, sheep are often unnoticed, which Aziraphale leans into. Crowley wants to stand out. He has a dedicated aesthetic and an obsession with human invention, where Aziraphale leans more towards simpler, known things and creature comforts. He fades into the background, and that suits him fine. He doesn't have to be outstanding to Heaven or to humans or even to Crowley -- it's enough to do his part, to trust in a bigger plan. People associate sheep (especially lambs) with innocence or ignorance which foils nicely to Crowley as the serpent tempting with knowledge, as well as with Aziraphale's own sharp mind and ongoing embers of faith in a system that is failing him, Crowley, and all of humanity. Sheep are, like Aziraphale, soft, cute, and hiding a hard-headed stubbornness and a surprising strength that makes them absolutely fearsome. Aziraphale is very much the sort to put his head down and push relentlessly forward regardless of the pressure and strain. Rams in particular have thick skulls to withstand the brutal force of headbutting one another in displays of dominance. While Aziraphale is clever, he's not above rolling up his sleeves and getting the job done, as messy and unpleasant as it might be (see: pulling a gun on the Antichrist). Also sheep are associated with Pan, a god associated with food, music, theatre, and the criticism thereof, which hit many of Aziraphale's personal interests and hobbies! I like the idea that in a reverse AU, the demon formerly named Aziraphale might be the original basis for Pan!

I wrote in Orangutan for the first question because if I remember correctly they are some of the most violent apes. Although I'd accept bonobo for him too. They fuck alll the time.

mothman aziraphale,,,,, thats it

Snowy owl, speremint's tortoise, and I just adore the goat.

moth - dusty and eats books

Long Furby the way Loni-Capri draws it.

I keep thinking about that Black Philip quote "doest thou wish to live deliciously" because... it fits so much with the general epicurean/hedonism vibe the Fandom has for him ... but in a demonic way and also I think a lot abt that art piece (already referenced many times probably but what the hell) of him climbing his own bookshelves, it's just so good!!

Albino Lion/white lion (matches his hair).  I feel like maybe I should explain why I think Lion would fit him best, lol. Lions actually are rather sedate, inactive for 20 hours of the day (see: Aziraphale reading and unmoving- yes I pulled wiki for this to make sure I didn't spout anything terribly wrong, shhh)  but also there's nomad lions. Lions that range widely and move around sporadically either alone or in pairs (*looks at Crowley after apoconope*) (pairs are more frequent among males who have been excluded from their birth pride)  but also I think of lions as protectors, defenders, and what is Aziraphale if not that? If not an angel who fiercely protects humans, crowley, earth? (When he finally overcomes heaven and it's abuse) lions don't hunt unless they're hungry, don't attack unless they're defending. They've been known to sit directly next to jeeps full of people and just watch them, not attacking or being aggresive.

I saw art once (I have no idea who the artist is) of Demon!Aziraphale climbing his bookcases like a goat and absentmindedly chewing on his sweater while he reads. I felt like the goat aspect suited him perfectly.

Honestly I wrote Az with a rat aspect because, well, it fits who I see demon Az as. He's not super powerful but he is very consequential, like rats carrying plague fleas (this also describes how I see Az tempting). He tries to blend into a crowd, which is arguably one way rats survive, and can get himself into places/situations that should be impossible or super difficult. Like snakes, rats have been unfairly maligned by our culture for a long time, even though they are very social with their colonies, smart, affectionate, and generally good beans. Finally, male pet rats are known far and wide as the lazier of the sexes while the girls are super curious and adventurous.

Somehow his tartan pattern becomes either his colour scheme or his coat/feather pattern.

Eurasian eagle owl. A big, unapologetic grump of an owl that is soft as soft can be underneath. Possessor of the glare to end all glares to be used in such dire situations as being interrupted when reading or being told one has "had enough cake".

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #008

“if there’s a god, why did he let the devil do his work on me?”

Are you currently mad at anyone? Nah, not actively. Do you like drawing on cement with chalk? I loved drawing with chalk as a kid. I mean I probably still would, but my fat ass and inadequately-muscled legs are NOT letting me get on the ground if I want back up, haha. When was the last time you went tanning? I've never deliberately tried to tan because I hate the feeling of heat literally cooking me. Do you like the smell of fresh cut grass? No. Have you ever worked at a party store? No. Are you creative? I think I am and have been told I am. Do you know how to play poker? Haha, it's funny, I did at a certain age as a kid, but now remember nothing as an adult. Do you always wear your seatbelt? Yes, always. Do you sing in the shower? No. Showers are fucking torture for me because of my legs so I get in and get the fuck out as fast as possible, I'm not concentrating on anything else. Have you ever been called a slut/whore/something along those lines? Only playfully by friends, never seriously. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly/didn't even know? Yes. Do you do drugs? No. Where do you want to get married? I have a few ideas. The absolute dream wedding would be in some sort of beautiful gothic building, like an old mansion, in the ballroom. I'll tell you right the fuck now I couldn't even dream of affording a venue like that though, so a more realistic option would be in some autumn woods, maybe by water or even a waterfall. Have you ever made yourself throw up? So, uh... I have tried. At my last job, when I was in the restroom having a panic attack and crying, I stuck my finger down my throat trying to force myself to vomit to give myself an extra reason to go home. And let me add how fucking TERRIFIED I am of the sensation of vomitting, if that helps give you an idea of how severely I was panicking. It didn't work. Honestly I probably would've kept trying if my co-worker hadn't come into the restroom making sure I was okay. Approximately two hours of fucking disaster. Have you ever fallen in love with a really good friend of yours? Haha yeah, I'm dating him rn. Do you own a blacklight? Not to my knowledge. Do you like fruit better than vegetables? Oh, absolutely. Have you ever been expelled from school? No. Do you believe you've met your soulmate or one of them? I don't believe in the concept of "soulmates." When did you last have grape juice? Literally the worst flavor of juice, ugh. I tried some back in March at the hospital because I really didn't want water, but I took one fuckin sip and got some water lmao. Have you learned anything today? Yeah honestly, but I don't wanna write an essay about it. Do you like the smell of coconut? Sure. It's not a favorite or anything, but it still smells fine. Do you prefer longer or short socks? Oh god, I used to be ALL over ankle socks, not feeling the sock stop there drives me FUCK-ING insane, like I can't wear them. I like socks that are at a normal length, really. Not terribly high, not very low. Do you like to leave your window open at night or do you use a fan? I have two fans that are always on in my room. If you find a spider in your home, do you set it free or kill it? I actually haven't been in this position in a very, very long time, considering these days I would want to catch it and let it out. How many pets have you had in your lifetime? I literally couldn't count, especially when we had a cat problem growing up. Do you sunburn easily? Ludicrously easily. What did you get into trouble for as a kid? Mostly for reasons related to being on the computer too much, fighting with my younger sister, and uhhh... idk. I was a good kid. What's something good that has happened here recently? Uh... idk. Like, there's stuff ig, but nothing remarkable. Who did you last say "I love you" to? My boyfriend. When did you last feel beautiful? Ugh I never do. ^ tries his hardest to assure me I am, but I just honest to god don't see what he does. Are you currently frustrated over something? Yeah. I just don't feel like getting into it. Have you ever had a yard sale? Yes. Do you enjoy going to yard sales or garage sales? It's not something we really *do*, but Mom and I both do like looking at random and obscure stuff. Do you like gummy bears? I do, gummy candy is the best. Do you ever get room service when staying in hotels? We barely ever, ever stay in hotels, but any time we have, we haven't gotten room service, to my memory. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom. Sara. Have you ever caught a fish? Many, growing up going fishing all the time with Dad. Can you honeslty say you love the last person you kissed? I can very very confidently say I'm in love with him. What does your last text mesage say? I don't feel like checking, but I think it was Dad sending me a picture from the plane he'd just boarded to go to Michigan (or Ohio?) to see family. What does the last person you kissed name start with? "D," though I don't call him by this name. How many people have you kissed in the last 5 months? One. When did you last have sex? Still never lmao we just haven't gotten to that point yet for multiple reasons I'm not gonna elaborate on. Like we're perfectly comfortable doing it, there are just a number of reasons why we haven't. When did you lose your virginity? ^ Does anyone call you baby? Girt, sometimes. It's not a regular, and I prefer it that way. What do you currently hear? "Armee der Tristen" by Rammstein. It's never going to end y'all Who was your first love? Jason, my high school boyfriend. What would you do if your doctor told you, you were pregnant? Well, given what I just said a few moments ago, I'd tell them they physically couldn't have the right person because I don't believe in immaculate conception. Do you still watch MTV? "Still?" I never did to begin with. Does the person you like know you like them? I make it pretty obvious. If you're dating someone how long have you been together? 10 months. What’s the longest relationship you have ever been in? 3 1/2 years. Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion? Yes, and I promise you do too. It's not rare. People just don't talk about it because of the stigma. Have you ever kissed in the rain? Yeah. Have you ever spent the night with the last person you kissed? He literally spent the night a couple days ago. He's done it in the past too. I've never stayed at his place yet, though. Do you have a bad reputation? I wouldn't know, go ask people I associate with. Have you ever gone through a bad breakup? *performs Sign of the Cross* Has anyone ever used a cheesy pickup line on you? Idk, maybe. Would you ever want a statue made of you? Uh, ew. Has anyone ever called you dumb? Probably at some point. If we're including myself, then yeah that's like, daily. Do you have any cats? We have one. <3 Sometimes I want one more, but more often I'm content with just Roman, especially considering he would get out-of-this-fuckin'-world jealous. Have you broken anyone's heart? I don't know. Jason chopped me off and out of his life like a gangrenous limb, completely and entirely ceasing contact that I really don't have any way of knowing exactly how the breakup affected him. Tyler ACTED like I broke his heart after two fucking weeks when I can absolutely assure you I did not. He just had insane attachment problems. God I'm glad I said "fuck this, I'm out" when I did. What’s the craziest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself? I've only ever heard one, which was basically that Jason and I magically had a baby over one summer. It was started by his ex, who had a grudge against me even BEFORE we dated, and she clearly did not think this shit through considering I was very slim in high school and clearly NOT pregnant at any point. Anyway, I'm friends with this person now. Things sure do change, haha. What’s the coolest name you’ve ever heard someone have? Ohhhh let's see... Well, I did have a friend named Journee (like "Journey") which I always thought was a beautiful, brilliant name for a person just going through and experiencing life. I am sadly 90% sure though she committed suicide because of something very serious she was dealing with at way too young of an age. No one should go through what she did, but never mind a child. She confided in me a lot, and during our last few messages, she was saying some concerning things and then just disappeared, permanently. What’s your least favorite genre of music and why? Rap, probably. I just don't like what is typically sung about and just the whole style of it. There are rap songs I love, but in general it's just not for me. What did you last complain about? I actually don't know. Did you ever like nursery rhymes as a child? What was your favorite? I did. I remember liking "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" as well as that "This Little Piggy" one, whatever its proper name is, because it involved Mom tickling me. What do you usually purchase at gas stations? (aside from gas of course) If I get anything, it's likely to be a certain flavor of Mountain Dew, and then I'll sometimes get a sort of candy. Do you drink regular or diet soda? Only regular. The artificial sweetener in diet sodas gives me a headache, but diet is also just gross imo. What’s one of your favorite artists/bands, and least favorite song from them? All right let's go with Ozzy. There are a few of his songs I'm just sorta "meh" about, but if I remember it correctly, I believe I wasn't into "Diary of a Madman" at all. Have you ever seen them live? Bitch I would cry lmao. I would LOVE to see Ozzy, especially with it being so clear he's in his twilight years with all the health issues he's been fighting. Seeing Ozzy live would without a goddamn doubt be a very strong highlight of my life. Mom and I actually WERE planning on seeing him, all the way in Charlotte, but then that tour had to be cancelled due to the arrival of health problems. Can't say I know if he's planning another, but I would think so with a new album in the future. Do you consider graffiti to be true art or just messy? I mean, it can be both. Depends on where it's at, the content itself, everything. What last overwhelmed you? In a recent survey I mentioned that I don't know what really qualifies as sensory overload, but dear god I think I experienced it at Girt's place when Mom and I went there for an early 4th celebration. SO many people were talking about different things and I was trying to be aware and listen to everyone, but it just wasn't possible. I was so overstimulated with all the noise that I literally didn't even process what my mom was eventually saying directly to me; like I just stared at her blankly and had to come back to just me and her to understand anything. What did you last watch on TV? Girt and I were watching a Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach speedrun via YouTube on the TV the other night. We were curious because of the insane amount of glitches in that game how fast you could really do it. Do you know anyone who keeps a Christmas tree up year round? I mean I might, but not that I know of. What’s the strangest video you’ve ever seen? Oh brother, who knows, I've been on the Internet too long. Though I will say I actually haven't seen like... *any* of the notoriously gross and/or shocking videos because I cherish my eyes. They suck, but I cherish them lmao. Have you ever received a present that made you cry? Oh jeez, that's easy to do. Do you know of any haunted buildings in your town? No. I know of a location with false origins that portray it as haunted, but it's just literally not true. What’s the most random song on your playlist that people wouldn’t expect? HAHA at Girt's place, Mom was VERY surprised to learn Brittney Spears is on my iPod lmaooo. When did you last receive a business card from somebody? I haven't the slightest idea. Would you try that Flaming Hot Mountain Dew? ... I do wanna try it... lmaooo. I love both so I mean... leave me alone, haha. When it was first revealed, all the reactions made me feel horrible about myself, ahaha. Do you own any adult coloring books? Yeah, somewhere. What did you last draw or write down? Uh, probably my signature. Have you ever played pinball on a machine or just online? I've played it on machines before. Have you ever had a bad sunburn? I once had sunburn so bad it was actually sun poisoning. It was fucking excruciating.

[sunatooru]

omg rip to you missing out on an internship!! was that thru ur uni,, bc if it was surely they’d accommodate that and give you alternatives right? that’s how it worked w my uni anyways when the third years couldn’t intern bc of covid,, anyways dw i missed out on my whole second year and then i went back for a semester for third year this year and now bc of the delta variant i’m gonna end up missing the second semester of my third year which means i’m gonna graduate having spent half of my degree online anyways, even tho i originally signed up for a full time face to face degree 😍🤪 learnt in the news that our PM is considering we might have to stay in lockdown till christmas so,,, love that for me xx anyways one of my friends takes psych too! she really likes it but she’s kinda struggling atm bc she wants to work in mental health (just not as a psychologist bc she can’t handle that + she doesn’t have the grades for further study), so you got any advice AHAHA i just told her maybe working in the mental health dept of a company but idk if that would require a license as well sooo,,, anyways i did some psych classes for my crim justice degree and fuckin hated it LMFAOO it was interesting but i’m definitely more into the law aspect, which is why my plan b if i don’t get into a grad program is to do a juris doctorate but i’d like to avoid further study if i can lolol i’m glad you like psych tho! it’s a fun field and it’s really interesting, just wasn’t my cuppa tea - 🕯

sorryyy late reply was working and I am DEAD

Rip us to paying thousands to stay in bed 💀it’s acc embarrassing that fees haven’t been reduced or refunded :/ and lockdown til Christmas is not great😅 Good luck Charlie😂💀 and tbh i am the worst person to come to for academic advice cos I studied Psychology before degree level and was always interested and I don’t do any extra reading unless I have to or when I’m writing an essay, and I usually just go through lectures and if anything doesn't make sense I search it up to simplify ….but I would just say watch videos online and to focus on areas shes not good at rather than areas she is (we love going over things we know to feel better) and she could check the uni career service or even check for volunteering jobs in care homes or being a buddy (those usually just do criminal checks and see if you match) but hospitals sometimes looks for volunteers too!

😭😂I feel like most people who don’t LOVE psychology end up hating it sksksk it really depends on what the person likes and yh i did psychology and law module and it was fun, even though it was more psychology than law stuff haha and that's a good plan b! we love having options xx

[ambitiousskychild]

Ooh how about Mike and Eddie? :)

ahhh i’m so sorry it took me FOREVER to get to this, but thank you for giving me these characters in specific and also i’m apologizing now for how long this is gonna be let’s begin

Why I like Eddie and Mike

They are HANDS DOWN the best characters of the 7 of them hands DOWN. 

Eddie in the book is the BIGGEST badass, not only did he LAUGH IN HENRY BOWERS’ FACE when he broke his arm at 11 years old, he KILLED bowers 27 years later right after bowers broke the same arm in the same place, by smashing his classy glass Perrier against his bedside table and stabbing bowers to death with the remains :) 

Mike Hanlon is the reason the book happens AT ALL. He’s essentially the narrator. And he is the final member of the losers club, they save his life from bowers and co, and he automatically knows he can trust them and they all know, like magic, that their group is complete and that was so fuckin sweet to me. He often puts his body in the way to protect Eddie and Stan and AHHH

Why i don’t like Eddie and Mike

bc i LOVE them next question

Favorite scene

For Eddie there are so many, here’s a bulleted list

“They’re gazebos! They’re BULLSHIT!”

THE LOSER/LOVER SCENE ARE YOU KIDDING ME, THE FACT THAT EDDIE HIMSELF TOOK THAT NASTY WORD GRETA BRANDED HIM FOR EVERYONE TO SEE AND DECIDED THAT’S NOT TRUE, AND CORRECTED IT TO THE THING HE LOVES MOST ABOUT HIMSELF IT MAKES ME FUCKING INSANE, EVERY TIME I WATCH THAT SCENE I CRY

when richie set his broken arm back into place and most definitely made it worse lmao

when eddie got puked on by pennywise and literally SHOOK with rage bc there was sooooo much of it in his tiny little body and he decided he was no longer afraid and swung at pennywise with those tiny HANDS

For MIke omg

In the book there’s this scene where he faces Pennywise as a giant bird that’s terrifying and I can’t describe it but Mike is just SO smart and brave

In the book when the losers decide to fuckin hotbox their underground clubhouse hoping to get high enough to see the origins of IT and it fuckin works, but Richie and Mike are the only ones who can stand it anymore in there to actually SEE anything

In the book when they’re fighting IT as kids and pennywise turns into that bird again and swoops down for Eddie, and Mike is so worried the bird will just take him that he rolls his body over Eddie’s

When in Chapter 1 they ran from the Neibolt house after Eddie broke his arm and Mike picked Eddie up all by himself and put him in his bike basket like a little puppy lmao

Favorite movie

Favorite movie for both of them is Chapter 1

Favorite Line

Eddie: “Get my bifocals, they’re in my second fanny pack”

Mike, tragically didn’t get really a lot of good lines butttt probably “I know the difference between what’s real and what’s not” bc that’s like,,, literally the only thing he got that wasn’t just sad lol

Favorite outfit

For Eddie it’s the pink polo shirt and red shorts with the rainbow stripes but ALSO the thundercats shirt with those same shorts both of those were LOOKS lol

And For Mike i love the outfit we first meet him in, his jeans and the grey shirt. i thought at one point he wore overalls, but i think i imagined it lol

OTP

For Eddie, obviously Reddie

For Mike, i like him with Bill AND Stan, but i also think he and eddie together would be adorable

Brotp

For Eddie- him and Bev! They’re so similar anyway i love to think they’re absolute best friends, aside from him and richie. And i especially love the idea of Richie, Eddie, and Bev as a trio. Eddie and Mike could be the cutest best friends, and Eddie and Stan, and Eddie and Bill omg, Everyone should be best friends with Eddie

For Mike, i like the idea of him and Richie being close tbh! Him and Eddie too and him and Ben! Also, everyone should be best friends with Mike

Head Canon

ummm i hc that Eddie develops an almost INSANE need for thrills after they defeat Pennywise for good and he wants to get tattoos and try smoking and he gets a motorcycle to go real FAST, and richie is not only supportive, but stupid, so they have a lot of dumb matching tattoos and a motorcycle they’re trying to get rid of like a year later :)

I hc that Mike always wanted to be a vet or something with animals, but he just never got to :( but when they finally defeat pennywise, Bill supports his dream to care for animals :)

Unpopular opinion

I love soft!Eddie! I know that’s like,,, not cool to say in the fandom these days but that’s literally the coolest most rebellious thing about Eddie is that despite it ALL he still chooses to be soft and kick your ass lovingly

And for Mike, it’s so hard bc he got so little attention or screentime or ANYTHING that actually let him be a character, so my main opinion for him is that he deserved better but that’s not unpopular lol

A wish

I wish that Eddie had been allowed to not be a raging asshole and then a coward for like all of Chapter 2, and I wish that Mike’s character hadn’t been somehow turned into crazy man who steals from Natives and “lies to his friends” lol

An oh-god-pls-don’t-ever-happen

Oh god, i would fuckin HATE it if Eddie died for no fuckin reason and then his friends just moved on 20mins later like he didn’t literally die for them, that would suck, thank god that doesn’t happen

And it would also suck if in the book, Mike, the whole reason they’re all even back in Derry, despite knowing the dangers of Derry during the height of IT being back and knowing he should be watching his back, put himself alone in harm’s way for no reason other than to be taken out of the game so he’s not even down in the sewers for the final showdown with Pennywise, that would suck and be infuriating, glad that didn’t happen either

5 words to best describe them

Eddie: brave, loyal, loving, funny, chaotic

Mike: sweet, kind, strong, brave, wise

My nickname for them

i usually just call them both sweet angel babey lmao but also spaghetti boy and farm boy lol

thank you for the ask and sorry i wrote you an essay

send me a character? if you dare lol i really snapped on this one

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 14

oh boy Here We Go, its time to die

ngl I've been putting this off bc I'm not ready to be destroyed hhhhhh

oh god. overlords giant fuckgin face on the cover. I regret everything

ohhh some good ole functionist flashbacks 

is this momus the same guy as senator momus from the shadowplay stuff? lemme say...class traitor

and then some garrus 9 flashbacks, ft chromedome’s snarky interjections. my man you are Not gonna be on the ups much longer oh lord

this is reminding me that I really do need to read the wreckers stuff

chromedome, stop posing jauntily, I'm trying to prepare myself for emotional devastation and you aren't helping 

cd bringin that emo theater kid energy

and here's megatron! well, flashback megatron, but still

megatrons head looks so fuckin weird there

love the thematic (and extremely plot relevant) use of ‘til all are one’ here

WHY is megatrons bucket helmet removable. I hate it 

also overlord is so big gay for megatron its unbelievable 

the name ‘heretech’ is A Lot lmao. right up there w/rigor morphis in the puns category

cd hhhhh this is why you don't talk to your captives in this sort of situation...even to make snappy comebacks, but especially not to TELL HIM YOUR PLAN....now overlords all worked up over megs being alive and yall are screwed

ah, some good old weird birth/re-birth vibes going on here, classic jro

like he literally tells megatron ‘congratulations...its a superwarrior’ god hvbdkhjfbjsf what is it w/jro and pregnancy/birth/reproduction themes

but also like I Kinda Get It bc that IS a pretty intriguing thing to explore w/an alien species like the transformers, who are living machines...ok ill strap on my biologist boots later and get into that when its more relevant lmao 

cd is breathtakingly un-genre savvy here. my man you should have never gotten involved in this oof

overlords weird ab guns are weird

uh no! now overlord is in the drivers seat, and smiling unsettlingly with his creepy lips

its brainstorm!!! I love him

SOUNDWAVE I love soundwave sm he’s just the coolest and best

is that trepan that overlord grabbed? I'm assuming it must be but I have a terrible memory for these things so I don't really remember what he looks like lmao

IS THAT PHARMA

also damn cd rlly b out here committing war crimes/crimes against humanity (crimes against cybertronians? that phrase doesn't really carry over well). the fact that the secret government lobotomy & brainwashing labs populated the ‘good guys’ side is....hhhhhhwow

cant believe cd’s real name is tumblr 

also I love the misdirection from cd not disclosing his ‘real’ name, which leads the reader to think that he’s secretly a different established/important character...but nope!

ahhhh and the reversal of cd and overlords positions in-panel so we can tell that Things Have Gone Terribly Wrong even before we zoom out to see cd in the chair instead of overlord...nice

love how prowl & co made up the whole ‘whiteout vacuum’ thing to lie to the people about overlord...yall really do be breaking moral laws left and right huh

the continuing hilarity of prowl referring to rewind as chromedomes ‘friend’ despite knowing full well they're married...and now that it’s been revealed in-story that they’re married, its just str8 up funny instead of funny AND meta 

is tarn a phase sixer???? genuinely I don't remember lmao

I feel like I could write an essay abt how interesting it is that prowl is so insistent on figuring out the whole phase sixer puzzle and making autobot phase sixers, despite the war being over (and with the autobots having won it, too). like, that's yet another fascinating psychological reaction to the never-ending civil war ending

and the way that prowl is able to rope multiple people into this scheme, which shows that he’s not the only one who thinks that way

aw, bumblebee still has a few morals, unlike most of the rest of anyone. too bad it certainty didn't help anyone in the case of repairing overlord

like, cd is RIGHT, they don't need their own phase sixers - and especially cause like...they won against the cons without any phase sixers already, so whos to say they cant win again the same way? smh prowl 

god I love the exchange here....prowl subtly threatening chromedome, while also calling cd his friend and probably meaning it genuinely, and chromedome looming menacingly over prowl then pinning him down and messing with his head...ooooof. 

also that panel of cd shadowplaying prowl and prowls face is just super blank...sinister as hell, i love it

also also, I'm actually really glad that that plot thread of ‘cd was complicit in what happened to dominus and rewind doesn't know’ didn't end up happening

I also find it a little funny that this very intriguing scene didn't end up going anywhere in mtmte, but from what I've heard the whole ‘cd rearranged prowl’s brains’ thing had big consequences for prowl in exrid or w/e, which is interesting

brainstorm wearing a version of perceptors targeting reticle eye thing...hello....

also I like the fact that they subtly establish when this is taking place by showing brainstorm working on the humansonas, which means this was before the last issue 

drift brainstorm chromedome shaking hands meme: making stupid decisions bc they listening to prowl for some reason

drift, this is Not the way you should be going about showing your dedication to the autobot cause

brainstorm is on a totally different wavelength than cd and drift hvbfdskhfdskjf brainstorm is just here to have a good time and maybe cause some chaos

the tablet saying ‘project: end in tears’ TOO REAL the tears are from ME. AUGH

hhhhhhhhhh the fact that cd did all of this bc he wanted to protect rewind from the war maybe restarting....ouch :( love makes you do stupid things sometimes

I cant get over how h*rny overlord looks...like I cant even describe it, its not necessarily that overlord himself is h*rny, or even that he’s drawn h*rny in the sense that he’s sexy or provocative...he just has those Vibes. this makes no sense except in my head ok

overlord escaped....no way! who could've seen that coming! probably anyone with a brain who isn't blinded by trauma and/or a misplaced sense of duty/love....Ls

AND HERE’S OVERLORD, READY TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP. GODDD

never over the panel of overlord grinning maniacally and cracking his knuckles with the text ‘next: massacre!’ cheerily overlaid 

GODDD this issue god....I mean we haven't gotten to the soul-destroying parts yet but this stuff is so intriguing...the nuance is THERE! and this is basically what we’ve been building up to for all of mtmte so far, and Oh Boy is it gonna be a big one, you can just tell....

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

[gotatext]

 hello, its nora (she/her, gmt) n this is the ethereal but spoiled alma olive putnam (she goes by all 3 names cos she’s pretentious as fuck). raised in a farmhouse in vermont, big horse girl energy. very hungry for everything life has to offer. wakes up and smells the success in her blood. luvs the smell of libraries and listening to french music from a tinny record player in knee socks. here is pinterest. bio is below the cut, like this post to be bombarded with plotting messages but i might forget tho so pls message me x

application template.

『ELLE FANNING ❙ CIS-FEMALE』 ⟿ looks like ALMA OLIVE PUTNAM is here for HER JUNIOR year as a CLASSICS student. SHE is 21 years old & known to be RESILIENT, MAGNETIC, CALLOUS & PROUD. They’re living in PERKINS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ NORA. 24. GMT. SHE/HER.

aesthetics.

a red beret nestled on top of bright platimum locks, neck scarves tied around your throat the way they do it in french new wave films, running barefoot through the woods in feckless hedonism, china dolls with porcelain faces lined against the walls of your room, the mona lisa smile, knee-socks tugged over the hockey grazes on your knees, a forged botticelli drying on your easel, ophelia floating in the middle of a lake. 

proceed w caution, tw for death, drugs, alcohol, violence

the short form.

— studying classics cos she thinks it makes her sound smart, but actually hates fuckin latin and just loves learning about feckless hedonism and the festivals of bacchus and writing about how all women in myth are literally forgotten. was expelled from princeton in her first year so her parents basically paid her way into radcliffe but she made an impression.... like... super fast and in her sophomore year she was upgraded to perkins accomodation n a paid scholarship bcos i think the governors kind of expect to see her in the supreme court one day or.

—  born in vermont in a big old farmhouse. her great-great-grandfather moved to america as an immigrant and worked on a plantation, made his way up cos he could speak a lot of languages and therefore win more people over. for the last two generations, putnam men have owned the farm and do little of the dirty work. big in the meat industry.

— both her parents had large personalities, so alma’s never really been shy around adults, even as a kid she’d speak to them in a forthright, confident manner, and because she was always surrounded by adults, she’s always seemed a bit wise beyond her years.

— very much a consolidation of every character in the secret history. has a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs. obsessed with w.h. auden and the beat poets. — ”aestheticism is the only thing worth pursuing and even that is pointless” — is majoring in classical civilisation. can read ancient greek and latin. also speaks french.

— studies hard and plays hard. she gets top marks but it’s because academia is literally her life, she loves the smell of libraries, the ancient smoke of learning, of feeling like old wine in a new bottle reincarnated from the bones of some old, dead witchy woman who invented a cure for cowpox or somethin.

— isn’t a foward-planner, however. alma prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manner so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenaline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night.

— pretentious motherfucker. loves poetry, especially the romantics, loves morbid ones too, edgar allen poe, sylvia plath, allen ginsberg, she just loves them all. can’t get enough. her favourite films are like…. wanky artfilm independent european cinema. especially french new wave. “what do you think of goddard’s work??” while snorting a line off someone’s sink at 5am on a school night, but you can bet she’ll make it to that 9am class. — very intelligent and beautiful and knows both of those facts. plays devil’s advocate. humanitarian, vegan. — judgemental but takes great care not to appear so. petty and vindictive

— obsessively devours mystery and thriller novels. she herself is a gillian flynn book waiting to happen. — tries to be an enigma. wants to be mysterious and unreadable because that’s what books have taught her makes women desirable and interesting and cool. very amy dunne in the way she expertly reinvents herself to suit her audience, when she wants to impress

— act like the flower but be the serpent under it. is a user. manipulative. leads people on. will throw another student under the bus to demonstrate her own intelligence and integrity — heavily involved in the theatre society. loves attention. — has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive, runs track, played lacrosse at school, now is a cheerleader probably. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning.

— her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee-high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk. — relates to ophelia from hamlet and sibyl vane in dorian gray. weirdly obsessed with women who commit suicide. loves jackson pollock paintings and abstract art. – likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramophone because “the sound quality is better” kfdsjj.

plots.

here are some generic wanted plots but by all means message me so we can flesh them out more if any strike ur interest:

study buddies !! someone who is equally unprepared and so spends all night in the library with alma before a big deadline, maybe they even met in the library

if they’re from new england or vermont, then cousins . second cousins / extended family / family friends –  probably spat volavons on your character once as children, omg childhood friends !

people who live in perkins n feel like they r constantly competing with one another to keep their place as one of the #elite only know each other from brief interactions in the lift or the canteen

honestly someone who is fully in love with her or crushing on her that she can just break would be sweet :/ or on the other hand someone she unexpectedly gets feelings for and actually wants to guage her own  eyeballs out bc of it

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sporting or academic rivalries !

hockey / cheer friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!!

fellow academics who like meeting up to discuss latin and greek ! gimme a secret society bonding by their love of ancient learning

i reckon she’s in a lot of societies, definitely the film club, maybe works as a projectionist at the uni cinema if they have one so give me ppl affiliated with that, give me fellow wanky pretentious art-lovers and poets and historians who will go to museums and galleries with her and listen to the velvet underground on vinyl

people she gets mortally fucked off her tits with at parties

people who think she is throwing her academic potential away by caving to hedonistic impulse

A SECRET SOCIETY !!! honestly i would die for a slug club esque thing in which the children of notable families are invited to dinners OR alma’s also an art forger, so maybe like a club of students set up to basically forge paintings and documents from the university special collections

people she has drunkenly made out with, hooked up with, or regularly sleeps with casually, maybe even a friend w benefits she is repressing feelings for, i love angst,

people she used to date or unrequitedly likes, but to them it’s just a physical thing, give me all the thirsty angst plots, and maybe some softness too, i need some religion in this girls life, she is a roman catholic after all

full biography.

alma olive putnam.

intro.

         the girl is a knife. razor-sharp, double-edged, the bright shine of a two-faced, lovely thing. silver like the secrets you magpie thief from other heads. you’re a scavenger of knowledge, of tidbits, of gossip to lock away for later use and late-night re-inspection. a mind is like a clock if you get to learn the pieces. bit by bit, you dismantle the inner workings of the brains that tick around you – how easy it is to change it’s path, how words and their meanings can make a person laugh or cry in an instant. to have the power to control that is to be a god. it’s the power trip you crave wielding pom-poms in your hands; a possessive need for control that a younger you, small and weak, never had as a child. small lips, smaller smile, a doll clutched in your too-hungry fingers, hard enough to shatter the bones of a real infant. you cut your hair with your mother’s kitchen scissors before the autumn falls, rendering you out of season, unfit for the cold weather that beats against the nape of your neck, where a stick-and-poke marks the star you were born under ; the bull. “mama, when will i be a queen?” as soon as they find a crown small enough not to slip from your head.

biography.

         if you get hungry enough, they say, you start eating your own heart. hands red, stained by pomegranate seeds, the empty pulp of its shell splattered on your thighs you find yourself wondering – what would it be like to want? in the beginning, you never knew hunger. twins, born under the same star, you first, him second – a nuclear family. never a sister to compete with, you were always the cherry pie of your parents’ hearts. white-haired, blue-eyed, beautiful baby of mine. the townhouse in vermont and the summer house in lyon, you wanted for nought, showered with attention, saddled with gifts - hardly a wonder you came to rely on such affection as a confirmation of your own worth.

         at eight years old you first met death, blood on a gingham-print dress, a smear of it over your cheekbone and the pulp of a mangled animal at your feet murdered by the hands of a stable boy. “alma, my precious baby, you get away from that filth,” your mama would cry from the upstairs balcony – cigar in one hand and a bloody mary in the other – though whether the filth she referred to was the dead pig or the boy with a kernel of corn in his mouth, you never did find out.

         your family earned their keeps in farming, great-grandfather wolfgang hildegarde a german immigrant, great-grandmother maura lisbon a prairie girl. they fell hopelessly in love between troughs and pig-shit, working for three dollars a day at a farm their descendants would later own, trade deals with the indians, vacations to calcutta, your father todd putnam in the kind of sheepskin coat his father’s father could only dream of owning. he worked hard so that you’d never have to. your mama once asked – you heard it through the window, rounding cartwheels across the picket-fenced lawn – could he not find a respectable career rather than selling shrink-wrapped pork for a dime a dozen? that blood money had no business raising a child. you look far back enough, edie, your father had said in his low, strong voice that could bring a civil war to silence, and i think you’ll find that all money is blood money.

         language was never fickle on your tongue, french dinner time talk by the time you were out of your hush puppy shoes, your mama fixing the au pair a smile as she fixed herself another martini. you learned the clarinet at four and how to dance with the grace of a swansong at six, ethereal under a spotlight, an audience captive in the palm of your hand. by eight you knew that you’d always been destined to be loved. loved so hard they would want to taste you, bite into the soft plump of your cheek and eat you alive. that was how magnetic you wanted to feel. but mother hamsters eat their own young when penned in together too long, and soon you became too wild, too restless, another package on your father’s delivery invoice, box-shipped out to english boarding school.

         fitting in had never been something you had to concern yourself with. you were always the shiny new toy the other girls wanted to play with, bright like a dropped coin from a magpie’s beak. wherever you went, you seemed to leave a trail of awe, pig-tailed harriet’s adoring you, imitating you, teachers forgiving your class-time chatter for the sake of your wild heart and the restless spirit you possessed. tell us what it’s like in the states, alma. they’d coo, enamoured by your hollywood drawl. does your father own a gun? you hardly knew. barely even knew the colour of his hair, for the scarce amount of times he’d stoop to kiss your cheek, though you’d tell silver-tongued tales if it’d guaranteed you an audience. when you learned how to smile at the right times, and that flattery would get you everywhere, it soon became apparent that charm would pave the yellow brick road to success even when your lack of drive couldn’t.

         the road you followed – gum-snapping, roller-blading, friendship bands all up your arm – eventually led you to radcliffe. bright-eyed and gingham skirted, you’d always known you were more. there was a hunger in you to be something extraordinary, a want so adamant to be imagined and desired that it was almost savage. in leather-bound volumes and a circle of stones, you were helen of troy, the girl for whom they’d launch a thousand ships. but there’s so much rage within you, collecting like sawdust in cavernous parts. hockey helped. there was something grounding about the feeling of a stick clasped in your hands. sweat. stiff knuckles. feet pounding the earth. the smash of wood against flesh in the scram of a game, passed off as mere enthusiasm. “slipped, sorry.” hockey is the one thing you had that was yours alone – a feral instinct that motivates you to play; something primitive within you that sparks an energy like no other. on the pitch, you feel alive. you feel like a god.

[maggotmouth]

         hello, its nora again ( she/her, gmt ) n this is the ethereal but spoiled alma olive putnam (she goes by all 3 names cos she’s pretentious as fuck).  ive never used anya taylor joy as her fc before but anya has a smile that looks like she knows something u dont and thats completely alma’s vibe so we’re gonna try it out. she was raised in a farmhouse in vermont, big horse girl energy. very hungry for everything life has to offer. wakes up and smells the success in her blood. luvs the smell of libraries and listening to french music from a tinny record player in knee socks. here is pinterest. bio is below the cut, like this post to be bombarded with plotting messages but i might forget or get shy tho so pls message me x

application template.

ANYA TAYLOR - JOY   ,   CIS-FEMALE   ,   SHE/HER         →         according   to   the   school   records   ,   ALMA OLIVE PUTNAM   has   been   attending   sacred   heart   for   the   past   three   years   .   i   last   saw   them   hanging   around  the  sacred   heart   cathedral   ;   i   think   they   were   studying   the   stations   of   the   cross   with   a   smile   like   a   well - kept   secret.   at   twenty   -   one   years   old   ,   alma   has   been   studying   classics   and   get   this   ,   i   heard   that   she   has   made   a   fortune   on   the   black   market   by   forging   renaissance   art   to   sell   to   collectors   —   figure   it’s   true   ?   everyone   around   here   always   associates   them   with    neck   scarves   tied   around   your   throat   the   way   they   do   in   french   new   wave   films , running   barefoot   through   the   woods   drunk   on  red  wine   and  untapped   power , a  smile  like  a   locked   door   that   speaks   only  in   riddles  .   in   the   time   since   these   strange   happenings   ,   they   have   have   encountered   any   unexplained   occurrences   .         (   written   by   nora   ,   24   ,   she/her   ,   gmt   )

aesthetics.

a red beret nestled on top of bright platimum locks, neck scarves tied around your throat the way they do it in french new wave films, running barefoot through the woods in feckless hedonism, china dolls with porcelain faces lined against the walls of your room, the mona lisa smile, knee-socks tugged over the hockey grazes on your knees, a forged botticelli drying on your easel, ophelia floating in the middle of a lake.

proceed w caution, tw for death, drugs, alcohol, violence

the short form. (still long af tbh)

— studying classics cos she thinks it makes her sound smart, but actually hates fuckin latin and just loves learning about feckless hedonism and the festivals of bacchus and writing about how all women in myth are literally forgotten. was expelled from princeton in her first year so her parents basically paid her way into sacred heart and the board really liked her in her interview. i think the governors kind of expect to see her in the supreme court one day or st

—  born in vermont in a big old farmhouse. her great-great-grandfather moved to america as an immigrant and worked on a plantation, made his way up cos he could speak a lot of languages and therefore win more people over. for the last two generations, putnam men have owned the farm and do little of the dirty work. big in the meat industry.

— both her parents had large personalities, so alma’s never really been shy around adults, even as a kid she’d speak to them in a forthright, confident manner, and because she was always surrounded by adults, she’s always seemed a bit wise beyond her years.

— very much a consolidation of every character in the secret history. has a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs. obsessed with w.h. auden and the beat poets. — ”aestheticism is the only thing worth pursuing and even that is pointless” — is majoring in classical civilisation. can read ancient greek and latin. also speaks french.

— studies hard and plays hard. she gets top marks but it’s because academia is literally her life, she loves the smell of libraries, the ancient smoke of learning, of feeling like old wine in a new bottle reincarnated from the bones of some old, dead witchy woman who invented a cure for cowpox or somethin.

— isn’t a foward-planner, however. alma prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manner so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenaline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night.

— pretentious motherfucker. loves poetry, especially the romantics, loves morbid ones too, edgar allen poe, sylvia plath, allen ginsberg, she just loves them all. can’t get enough. her favourite films are like…. wanky artfilm independent european cinema. especially french new wave. “what do you think of goddard’s work??” while snorting a line off someone’s sink at 5am on a school night, but you can bet she’ll make it to that 9am class. — very intelligent and beautiful and knows both of those facts. plays devil’s advocate. humanitarian, vegan. — judgemental but takes great care not to appear so. petty and vindictive

— obsessively devours mystery and thriller novels. she herself is a gillian flynn book waiting to happen. — tries to be an enigma. wants to be mysterious and unreadable because that’s what books have taught her makes women desirable and interesting and cool. very amy dunne in the way she expertly reinvents herself to suit her audience, when she wants to impress

—  an incredibly talented dancer. she was accepted to juliard to study ballet, but after an injury to her foot she had to refuse her place, something that she’s incredibly bitter about. she went to princeton instead to study classics for a semester, before being expelled. 

— alma comes from a family of high-end art dealers. while her parents paid her way into the school, that was mostly due to previous expulsions, not low intelligence. she’s incredibly intelligent but will only put in effort when she deems the cause worthy. she’s frustrating to teach, because she requires evidence, truth, in order to accept something as worthwhile. she plays devil’s advocate, but academically she’s brilliant. 

—  she can recognise any renaissance artist just by their brush strokes. her aunt and uncle deal antiques and art, and from an internship with them after her expulsion from princeton, she learned how to market and sell art, how to recognise originals in contrast to fakes. from this, alma began to produce counterfeit art and sell it off as the original work to the contacts she had made in her internship. it’s disloyal, but it’s powerful.

— act like the flower but be the serpent under it. is a user. manipulative. leads people on. will throw another student under the bus to demonstrate her own intelligence and integrity — heavily involved in the theatre society. loves attention. — has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive, runs track, played lacrosse at school, now is a cheerleader probably. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning.

— her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee-high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk. — relates to ophelia from hamlet and sibyl vane in dorian gray. weirdly obsessed with women who commit suicide. loves jackson pollock paintings and abstract art. – likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramophone because “the sound quality is better” kfdsjj.

plots.

here are some generic wanted plots but by all means message me so we can flesh them out more if any strike ur interest:

study buddies !! someone who is equally unprepared and so spends all night in the library with alma before a big deadline, maybe they even met in the library

if they’re from new england or vermont, then cousins . second cousins / extended family / family friends –  probably spat volavons on your character once as children, omg childhood friends !

honestly someone who is fully in love with her or crushing on her that she can just break would be sweet :/ or on the other hand someone she unexpectedly gets feelings for and actually wants to guage her own  eyeballs out bc of it

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sporting or academic rivalries !

hockey / cheer friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!!

fellow academics who like meeting up to discuss latin and greek ! gimme a secret society bonding by their love of ancient learning

i reckon she’s in a lot of societies, definitely the film club, maybe works as a projectionist at the uni cinema if they have one so give me ppl affiliated with that, give me fellow wanky pretentious art-lovers and poets and historians who will go to museums and galleries with her and listen to the velvet underground on vinyl

people she gets mortally fucked off her tits with at parties

people who think she is throwing her academic potential away by caving to hedonistic impulse

a secret society !!! honestly i would die for a slug club esque thing in which the children of notable families are invited to dinners or alma’s also an art forger, so maybe like a club of students set up to basically forge paintings and documents from the university special collections

people she has drunkenly made out with, hooked up with, or regularly sleeps with casually, maybe even a friend w benefits she is repressing feelings for, i love angst,

people she used to date or unrequitedly likes, but to them it’s just a physical thing, give me all the thirsty angst plots, and maybe some softness too, i need some religion in this girls life, she is a roman catholic after all

full biography.

alma olive putnam.

intro.

        the girl is a knife. razor-sharp, double-edged, the bright shine of a two-faced, lovely thing. silver like the secrets you magpie thief from other heads. you’re a scavenger of knowledge, of tidbits, of gossip to lock away for later use and late-night re-inspection. a mind is like a clock if you get to learn the pieces. bit by bit, you dismantle the inner workings of the brains that tick around you – how easy it is to change it’s path, how words and their meanings can make a person laugh or cry in an instant. to have the power to control that is to be a god. it’s the power trip you crave wielding pom-poms in your hands; a possessive need for control that a younger you, small and weak, never had as a child. small lips, smaller smile, a doll clutched in your too-hungry fingers, hard enough to shatter the bones of a real infant. you cut your hair with your mother’s kitchen scissors before the autumn falls, rendering you out of season, unfit for the cold weather that beats against the nape of your neck, where a stick-and-poke marks the star you were born under ; the bull. “mama, when will i be a queen?” as soon as they find a crown small enough not to slip from your head.

biography.

        if you get hungry enough, they say, you start eating your own heart. hands red, stained by pomegranate seeds, the empty pulp of its shell splattered on your thighs you find yourself wondering – what would it be like to want? in the beginning, you never knew hunger. twins, born under the same star, you first, him second – a nuclear family. never a sister to compete with, you were always the cherry pie of your parents’ hearts. white-haired, blue-eyed, beautiful baby of mine. the townhouse in vermont and the summer house in lyon, you wanted for nought, showered with attention, saddled with gifts - hardly a wonder you came to rely on such affection as a confirmation of your own worth.

        at eight years old you first met death, blood on a gingham-print dress, a smear of it over your cheekbone and the pulp of a mangled animal at your feet murdered by the hands of a stable boy. “alma, my precious baby, you get away from that filth,” your mama would cry from the upstairs balcony – cigar in one hand and a bloody mary in the other – though whether the filth she referred to was the dead pig or the boy with a kernel of corn in his mouth, you never did find out.

        your family earned their keeps in farming, great-grandfather wolfgang hildegarde a german immigrant, great-grandmother maura lisbon a prairie girl. they fell hopelessly in love between troughs and pig-shit, working for three dollars a day at a farm their descendants would later own, trade deals with the indians, vacations to calcutta, your father todd putnam in the kind of sheepskin coat his father’s father could only dream of owning. he worked hard so that you’d never have to. your mama once asked – you heard it through the window, rounding cartwheels across the picket-fenced lawn – could he not find a respectable career rather than selling shrink-wrapped pork for a dime a dozen? that blood money had no business raising a child. you look far back enough, edie, your father had said in his low, strong voice that could bring a civil war to silence, and i think you’ll find that all money is blood money.

        language was never fickle on your tongue, french dinner time talk by the time you were out of your hush puppy shoes, your mama fixing the au pair a smile as she fixed herself another martini. you learned the clarinet at four and how to dance with the grace of a swansong at six, ethereal under a spotlight, an audience captive in the palm of your hand. by eight you knew that you’d always been destined to be loved. loved so hard they would want to taste you, bite into the soft plump of your cheek and eat you alive. that was how magnetic you wanted to feel. but mother hamsters eat their own young when penned in together too long, and soon you became too wild, too restless, another package on your father’s delivery invoice, box-shipped out to english boarding school.

        fitting in had never been something you had to concern yourself with. you were always the shiny new toy the other girls wanted to play with, bright like a dropped coin from a magpie’s beak. wherever you went, you seemed to leave a trail of awe, pig-tailed harriet’s adoring you, imitating you, teachers forgiving your class-time chatter for the sake of your wild heart and the restless spirit you possessed. tell us what it’s like in the states, alma. they’d coo, enamoured by your hollywood drawl. does your father own a gun? you hardly knew. barely even knew the colour of his hair, for the scarce amount of times he’d stoop to kiss your cheek, though you’d tell silver-tongued tales if it’d guaranteed you an audience. when you learned how to smile at the right times, and that flattery would get you everywhere, it soon became apparent that charm would pave the yellow brick road to success even when your lack of drive couldn’t.

        the road you followed – gum-snapping, roller-blading, friendship bands all up your arm – eventually led you to sacred heart. bright-eyed and gingham skirted, you’d always known you were more. there was a hunger in you to be something extraordinary, a want so adamant to be imagined and desired that it was almost savage. in leather-bound volumes and a circle of stones, you were helen of troy, the girl for whom they’d launch a thousand ships. but there’s so much rage within you, collecting like sawdust in cavernous parts. hockey helped. there was something grounding about the feeling of a stick clasped in your hands. sweat. stiff knuckles. feet pounding the earth. the smash of wood against flesh in the scram of a game, passed off as mere enthusiasm. “slipped, sorry.” hockey is the one thing you had that was yours alone – a feral instinct that motivates you to play; something primitive within you that sparks an energy like no other. on the pitch, you feel alive. you feel like a god.

[okk--maaan]

Adam Driver Tag Challenge!

Oh man! I was tagged into the ring by @mrsclydelogan @adam-driver-baby AND @babbushka! Thank you my sweet sweet friends! I’m about to pour my heart out about my beloved AD lmao

When did/What was your first film in which you discovered Adam?

Honestly I think the first thing I saw him in was TFA. Then TLJ rolled out and I was like ‘okay I’m listening’. And I jumped on The Dead Don’t Die (also cause Bill Murray). I was hooked.

Do you remember what your first impression was? What was it?

I didn’t think much of him at first lmao! I was like where’s Leia, where’s Han, where’s Chewy? Where’s my badass new lesbian Jedi? But that ALL changed as I got further into his filmography. In this essay, I’m going to talk about....

Favorite Adam Driver Movie?

I’m gonna have to go with TDDD. I loved him as kinda goofy kinda innocent Ronnie. (And again, Billy Murray, Tilda Swinton, Chloe Sevingy Steve Buscemi, Danny Glover, RZA?? C’mon!)

Favorite Adam Driver character?

Oh you mean my husband, Charlie Barber? Yeah Charlie fo sho!

Kylo’s right behind him though.

Least favorite Adam Driver character?

Yikes I’m gonna have to say Jude. As a character, he was just icky and not good. 

Sackler also got...questionable.

Favorite SNL skit?

Is the Chill Monologue an option?

Man BK Joe always gets me. I just love the sheer stupidity of it all. The stupid accent, the stupid outfit, the stupid half-up do. Fuckin BUSCOOTI COOKIE! I quote it all the time. (sorry Zannah lol)

Least favorite SNL skit?

Hmm probs the Cheer one. Don’t get me wrong, it had it’s moments but it mostly felt like the same joke over and over and over (and over) again. Plus that wig was weird lol.

Favorite Adam Driver hairstyle?

Long long long! Just like the rest of him! And just kinda pushed over. Yes. I think about Clyde and s6 Sackler hair a lot. A LOT. I- I- I have no words.

Least favorite Adam Driver movie?

TROS 🙃

I also wasn’t a huge fan of What If? Thought it was kinda boring.

On a scale of 1-10, how much do you like him?

Umm 100/10! Would totally recommend. I just adore the way he takes each of his roles. Always finds a way to make them personal, but easily accessible for a larger audience at the same time. And he has this honesty and authenticity to him that I feel you don’t get from many other actors. I hope he doesn’t lose that as he becomes more well known. And he funny. Love his dry ass sense of humor. Extra points for his face.

Do you think he’s a good actor?

Abso-fuckin-lutely! I feel like he puts so much effort and emotion and depth and thought into each one of his characters. Commitment? Yeah he’s got it. He’s so good at giving just enough of a character that you leave wanting more. Wanting to know more about that character as a person. I would love to get the chance to see him on stage.

Do you think he’ll ever win an Oscar?

Yeah...eventually lol. But we all know how that goes.

What is a role or character you would want to see him play?

I can’t think of any specific roles off the top of my head. But I hope he opens himself up to a more diverse range of directors and co-stars. 

IF YOU DO THIS CHALLENGE, DO NOT REBLOG THIS, PLEASE MAKE YOUR OWN POST!

If you’re also an AD lovin homie, lemme hear your thoughts on these questions!

[akozuheiwa]

Professors Tarron and Johnson

A post-canon not-yet-AU-technically by myself, @lizzylucky, and @brising. See the long post beneath the cut.

After grad school and everything, Seamus goes on to become a professor at the same college he and Krel and everyone went to. Krel drops into class on such a regular basis that the students pretty much regard them as co-professors. At some point, the deans or whatever realise this and sort of offer Krel a position because students seem to like him. Seamus thinks it’s a great idea and that’s how Krel gets coerced into being Professor Tarron.

Krel is the cool professor who doesn’t ever want to be called professor (because Aja made fun of him for it) and tries for a solid three semesters to get his students to exclusively call him DJ Kleb. Seamus is fine being called by first name, but he’ll introduce himself and Krel as “Professors Johnson and Tarron” at the beginning of the semester. Almost always, the two co-teach lecture and then split up lab, except the one not in charge of lab always shows up anyway.

Their students love them, even if tests can occasionally be murder. Class and lab are full of super awesome experiments. Krel shows up some days with something random he invented the night before with the help of either alcohol or caffeine. He’ll take over the class and throw the syllabus to the wind to get his students to help him figure out what, exactly, he invented and how, exactly, he invented it. Some love it. Some hate it because they did the reading which is now out the window. Usually Seamus is very frustrated at first because he “had a plan for today’s lesson, we only have six weeks left in the semester”, but then he just gets super into it too and makes sure it becomes a teaching moment and nothing blows up. Students learn quickly that if you like explosions, you take lab with Krel, and if you’d rather play it safe, you take lab with Seamus.

Sometimes students also bring in things like this, although they usually try not to mention exactly what substance they were on when they created it, except for one student who walks in and shamelessly declares that that weekend she was “super fuckin’ high” and she thinks she mad something awesome but has no idea what it is, and the class spends the entire period reverse-engineering whatever it is only to find out it’s actually just a really, really weird hair-dryer. She gets extra credit just because Krel and Seamus are nostalgic and have, obviously, done the same thing multiple times in school. Unfortunately, this triggers a wave of students trying to replicate it by sleep deprivation or drugs or alcohol, which turns out some really cool class projects, but is banned after one kid passes out in the middle of class. Krel and Seamus either take back all the extra credit or just give everyone equal extra credit.

Students always find out about the Akiridion sci-fi site where all the theories about Krel and Seamus ended up, and they use it both as a forum to keep up with each other and also to speculate about their professors. Graduated seniors and anyone in the know help to make sure there’s no way to prove their favourite professors are (both?) aliens, and Krel and Seamus go through to check as well.

They give all their graduating seniors gifts, whether they were in one of their classes this year or freshman year or never but got stuck with one of them as a major advisor. If the kids were good, trustworthy kids, which most of them are, they get sworn to secrecy and get to find out that, yes, Krel’s actually from space. It’s impossible to convince them Seamus isn’t, but it amuses the two professors enough that they let it go.

They do teach a special senior seminar course that focuses on Akiridion technology, but it’s permission only and you pretty much can only get in if you’re a dedicated student of the Tarron-Johnson duo. Not to mention that the course description is misleading enough that only those students want to take it. The first day of this class is largely introducing the students to the fact that extra-terrestrials are real and that their tech is way better than Earth’s. They usually take a vote to see which of them the students think is the Akiridion, and usually the winning vote is both of them. Krel doesn’t reveal himself until the end of class so they can get through the syllabus and everything, because otherwise the class would never calm down.

The Akiridion Tech class takes two annual fields trips. One is to Akiridion-5, of course, where they get a special tour and the chance to work in what was Krel’s lab when he lived there. Aja begins looking forward to these trips because, ironically, it's one of her easiest days as Akiridion-5 Ruler. The students are always excited to meet her and the citizens are respectful and peaceful on those days. The other trip is to a planet of their choosing, which is disguised as an assignment where the class as a whole is given a bunch of data and has to determine which planets are habitable and pick one to visit. They almost always go, even if it’s not particularly habitable, just because Krel and Seamus can usually rig up safety suits. They also have a day where they study transduction technology. It’s Krel’s least favourite lesson because the students get to experiment with it on the only Akiridion available, AKA him, and so he ends up looking all sorts of crazy. Yes. Pictures get taken.

One year, after the field trip, one kid doesn’t listen and ends up accidentally bringing a skelteg back to Earth, which of course goes nuts in class. Professor Tarron goes around blasting music until they all explode. When the students find out he made the music, they go nuts. Someone finds all of his demos and shares them in the class group chat. There’s a petition for Professor Tarron’s music to be broadcasted in the dining hall. Krel signed the petition, of course. A few students form a DJ/music club and ask him to be the faculty contact for it, and of course he's thrilled and gets super into it. Really, he and Seamus go to as many of their students’ events as possible.

Some of the more internet savvy students compare them to vines on YouTube and through brief discussion decide that these trips are very Magic School Bus esque. Someone makes the mistake of bringing this up in class and introducing Krel to Magic School Bus, which is something Seamus was very specifically avoiding. All of the classes start having a lot more fun field trips after that, much to Seamus’s frustration and secret amusement. The trips very much cater to and play on the Magic School Bus jokes. One student gets them a pet lizard. It becomes the class pet. Krel takes to it immediately. Seamus gives up.

Krel won’t always focus in lecture, and he has a habit of stopping mid-sentence and leaving the room, at which Seamus just sighs and picks up where Krel left off until the Akiridion comes back with some bizarre piece of tech. He’ll wait for Seamus to finish before explaining the jump in his thought process and how it relates to his tech. Seamus has done it once or twice himself, but he usually finishes talking before adding. They’ll also completely baffle the students by stopping mid-lesson to discuss how, “Wait, didn’t we disprove this once?” or “According to Akiridion science, isn’t this wrong?” or “Well, if we did this instead I bet we could prove this wrong.” No one ever understands what they’re talking about in those instances.

Professor Johnson is the only one to have office hours (and grade stuff, usually), but if you can’t make it, you can probably find Krel somewhere on campus and ask questions. He can always answer, even if it’s about a comment Seamus made on an essay Krel didn’t grade. Half the students are convinced they have some sort of telepathy device because they can pick up each other’s thoughts mid-sentence, sometimes even when they weren’t in the room. Sometimes one of them just moves to go sit down and starts researching something on the computer while the other takes up the rest of the lesson, knowing full well that they'd had the same idea at the same time.

They tell new students the first day to “forget everything you’ve learned in any physics class not taught by one of us.” They, in fact, have a class (PHYS 351 with Lab) called “Physics is a Social Construct”. All their classes always start with a syllabus, but by the second week, Krel (and it’s always Krel) is like, “Alright, so due to unexpected circumstances, and by that I mean Seamus and I disproved three of these theories last night, we’re throwing away the syllabus!” There are days when the students are so stuffed up with questions and confusion as to what their Professors are doing that an entire class will be spent just answering their questions. Some of the students already understand some things thanks to Akiridion Science Fiction and just laugh at the younger students' questions, but then find themselves asking questions too. Questions range from “Why did Professor Tarron vanish for a week?” to “What the hell is that thing on the desk?” to “What about the syllabus?” and finally, the most common one, “But that’s not possible!” PHYS 351’s final project is to break one of the laws of physics. The Tarron-Johnson duo’s motto is that everything is possible.

Krel, surprisingly, is really bad at lab safety, in that he doesn’t do it at all. He’ll get sucked in and forget things. Seamus has to remind them all the time, things like, “Krel, please put your hair up, you’re going to catch it on fire again” or “Krel, please wear goggles, we don’t want a repeat of the junior year fiasco.” If Seamus shows up alone and starts class with, “Let’s go over lab safety”, then you know Krel did something stupid. Some days Krel will have to tell Seamus, “Do not tell them why I’m not there”, and Seamus tells them because it’s usually something really stupid, including the time he fell off a ladder.

Sometimes they bring guest speakers to class. Akiridion Tech gets the best guests, scientists from across the galaxy and usually the Queen of Akiridion-5 at least once, but even other classes get cool Earth scientists and occasionally extra-terrestrials in disguise. Apparently, Professor Tarron is good friends with a high-up military general that runs the mysterious Area 49b, so he usually visits too, and sometimes Akiridion Tech even gets a tour of the military base. Students who don’t get a tour beg for one, and Krel, certified disaster even as an adult, tells them that “it’s not that hard to break into there anyways” and that he knows someone who did it at least twice. Professor Johnson is not pleased to hear about this when he discovers students plotting to break in. General Costas is even less happy, and every semester he drags anywhere from two students to the entire class to Krel and Seamus’s house in the middle of the night after they tried to break into Area 49b. Yes, this fuels the debate about whether they’re married. No, no one is sure. Krel secretly gives them extra credit by claiming it tests their capacity to plan and also, it helps test the security of the base. Neither Costas nor Seamus like this answer.

Seamus pretty much stays in the physics and engineering departments, but Krel actually ends up branching out. He stays involved in theatre, of course, and ends up teaching a class about sci-fi theatre in which he only teaches one play from Earth, if that many, and at least two are from Akiridion-5. The others come from random planets with plays Krel likes.

Krel is also in the habit of just… walking into other classes whenever he feels like it to see what’s happening or if it’s interesting. Students not aware of Professors Tarron and Johnson assume he’s maybe an older student or a grad student or something. He almost always goes to classes that talk about space and sci-fi. The special creative writing class about writing sci-fi is something he has to see, and the professor actually thinks he’s a student who isn’t on the list because of add/drop/swap and Krel, while finding it hilarious, has to explain that, no, he’s from the physics department, he specialises in astroengineering and cool stuff like that.

They also get super into things like holidays and spirit week, and will always go all out for any costumes. They’ll set up holiday-themed projects for extra credit. Students are challenged to relate their Halloween costumes to class (so they get a lot of superheroes) and they usually reserve the unit on holograms for February to allow the students to make hologram Valentine’s cards. They try to be as inclusive as possible, and research different holidays and make sure they know what their students celebrate, especially come winter time when so many holidays come up.

TL;DR: Seamus and Krel are the best professors for so many reasons and nobody knows if they’re married or not. That’s up to you and what you ship.

[midnight-jamboree]

TOY STORY 4

I’m fresh out of the cinema (okay no i’m not i went home and showered and had time to think but shut up), and my mind is kind of all over the place rn so I’m gonna do a stream of conscious ramble about how I felt (not exactly a review bc again, my mind is so all over the place I can’t really view the film in a super critical lens just yet, I’ll have to see it again)

I’m not gonna spoil anything/go too indepth but you may be able to guess plot things from what I’m talking about.

I don’t feel like anyone’s gonna read all this shit, but uh. yeah.

i got. feelings ok.

OKAY SO FIRST OFF I was soooOOOO excited for this movie because the Toy Story films are among my favorites in all of animation, they hold a really special place in my heart (the first one especially - it’s been one of my favorite movies since I was a toddler, hell it even came out a week and a half before I was born). And I knew and understood that all the early criticisms/apprehensions people had about this film beforehand were valid - like how it was an unnecessary addition to a perfect ending and how it seemed to repeat some of the exact same story elements from the first three movies - but that didn’t bother me quite as much because…well, I love these movies too much that I’d watch the same story beats over and over again because the characters themselves and the themes are so enjoyable, plus the elements repeated (lost toys, the idea of what it means to be a toy and loyal to a kid) are unique enough to the franchise’s premise that I don’t really mind exploring it more than once. That’s just me though. I’m easy to please when I want to be, but also critical when I want to be.

ANYWAY that out of the way, there was SOOOOO much good stuff in this movie - the animation was great as expected (but tbh at this point not much impresses me in regards to mainstream 3D animation except the odd spiderverse, so the animation was just kinda. great, and nothing else, if that makes sense haha). The acting was great, especially in regards to the new characters, cos the usual cast didn’t have much to do this time around..

The humor was spot on, I laughed SO much. I know people worry about these movies going stale, but as long as the creativity and humor keep going strong I don’t care. I fuckin loved the jokes. Keanu and Key and Peele were great hahaha.

And of course, being a Toy Story film, not only did i laugh but i fuckin cried so bad. I cried at little points throughout the film, but I was a fucking WRECK at the ending. I have no idea if the ending is gonna affect other people as much as it affected me, I’ll find out once the movie’s been out for a bit, but I know I’m not the only one who feels such a closeness to these movies. Like, guys, it hurt me. Really fucking bad. At the time I didn’t think I’d come to terms with it (and YES I KNOW IT’S JUST A MOVIE BUT STILL) but during the car ride home I started to appreciate it more. Oh, it’s still gonna make me cry to think about, and even tho i’m obviously gonna see it again i’m DREADING seeing that again, but I understand it, and I appreciate it.

The ending got me thinking about a lot of things in terms of storytelling, especially what makes Pixar films so effective. This post expresses it really well. Anyone who knows even the basics of writing/literature knows that a character’s “wants” are what drive a good story. But something I think Pixar understands better than anyone is that the what the audience wants makes for an effective ending. Because the more memorable Pixar endings aren’t 100% what you may want to happen as a viewer, but they needed to happen, and you remember them as a result. You didn’t want to see Mike and Sulley expelled, but you wouldn’t be satisfied if they got kicked out of college and then Hardscrabble’s final talk with them was to them right back in. With TS3, all the toys want is to get back home to Andy and stay with him, for the duration of the movie that’s all the AUDIENCE wants - but when it comes to the ending and they almost accept a future in the attic, you realize it’s not the right choice, even if the goodbye scene is a tearjerker to watch. Neither the characters nor the audience get exactly what they want, but the characters get what they need, and in turn the audience get an ending that leaves a lasting impression.

(tbh i’d love to make an analytical essay/storytelling guide on that topic, but that’s for another day this is long enough sdfjhgjsd)

ANYWAY THIS IS LONG AS SHIT SO TL;DR I LOVED THE MOVIE THE ENDING HURT ME BUT EVERYTHING ELSE WAS GREAT GO SEE IT GOODNIGHT ALL

[yourbrotherzulu]

Beginningless

Time is such an odd thing. Everyone is in such a rush. Trying to get this, trying to become that. Missing what they have and what they already are.

Life could be beautiful. Full of appreciation and gratitude for the beauty all around. But instead: more of this pleasurable thing, less of that unpleasant thing. And what’s inside is decaying instead of thriving.

A few years ago, I said fuck this and fuck that, left my home and my job, put my last bucks together, gave my balls a last scratch and started to travel without a plan. Just a ticket to India, and that was it.

And then another ticket. And another one. And God knows where the money came frome (and I mean that literally). And now I am hanging out inna hamock in the peruvian jungle with my best friend, a black fluffy monkey and try to put something in words, that is actually beyond words. But since I deal in words, I should be able to throw a bunch of them together, spice them a little bit and hopefully they give a good flavour and make a little sense.

What is there to describe?

Something that is magical and yet the realest reality there is.

Something that is everywhere and yet no one finds it.

Something that is so close and yet no one sees it.

Something that is there in abundance and yet no one takes it.

Something that is everything and yet in its core is pure nothingness.

The one selfless Self.

Somethin’ like that.

God, someone said to me once, is just a word. And in a way I agree, I would even go so far to say its a cursed word. It’s not a word like Om, where everyone feels spiritual like a smoking stick of incense after three times chanting it. It’s a word that wakes up so much associations in peoples mind, so dependent on their upbringing. It’s a word that I almost don’t dare to speak out loud but yet it’s the only word that really matters. And most of it is beyond matter anyway.

Consciousness. Everybody has it. But just a few investigate it. And even fewer investigate it within themselves. I mean who the fuck has time for this anyway, right? Although the real question is: who the fuck takes time for it? You see, if you are fortunate enough to one day stumble upon the idea that you and everyone around you is as eternal as eternity can be, here since beginningless time and here for a long, long while longer, then you might think it’s a good idea to take a moment to find out who you really are. And then you take the luxury of another moment, and then another one and after a few more you’ll find that the moment has become eternal. A vibrant flow of stillness, running through the center of your own being: Life.

The Self. There is a Self, there is no Self, there is a Self, there is no Self. We gonna discuss this in more detail later, since this divine paradox is actually the very foundation of creation. There are a few more of these divine paradox (es? a? oxeses? who gives a shitses?) and the integation of those always brings revelation...

What is this, that you call yourself? The images that you hold dear? Aren’t they changing like the seasons? The thoughts that are running through your head? Aren’t they as transient as clouds in the sky? Your body, that is so close to you? Isn’t it changing, growing and decaying over time, constantly creating and devouring it’s own cells? So where is the Self, that you call “I”? Is it the one who asks these questions? Or is it the one that can observe the one who asks the questions?

Maybe the monkey knows. He looks like he knows. His face looks calm and wise and his hands are tiny and soft and its finger approaching the holes of my nose.

and prngejekjessing on the kefeyboard.

Thanks monkey. you just ruined the page! That’s it! No more bananas for you lil’ fucker!

God, Consciousness and the Self. That sounds like a humble thread.

Reality is a funny thing, isn’t it? Every night you create whole worlds, with it’s own physics and a plethora of characters in your imagination. What if I told you, that this whole thing you experience in a waking state is not much different? A little bit though, since were all dreaming it up together, co-creating our world. You see, the word “Buddha” means literally “someone who has woken up”.

And it’s not as if there are not already volumes over volumes about this stuff. Waking up. Liberating oneself. Reaching enlightenment. Scratching balls. Songs over song and scriptures over scriptures. Philosophers, Poets, Saints, Mystics, Scientists, they all wrote about it.

But I am not a saint, nor a philospher, neither a scientist, and a poet only when I take a dump on the first, bright morning of spring.

I was a criminal. And a total failure, a depressed, angry piece of shit, spreading misery. I was alone. I had nothing. Well I had a lot of misery...

And now... Happy, every day, free and fresh. And my relations are awesome. To my family, my friends, even to those who have once been my enemies. To myself, who sometimes has been an even bigger enemy to me then everyone else. And to my God, who probably has been my biggest enemy of them all, back then, when I was still full of fear. My God, who is now not only my best friend (bestest), but also my father, my mother, my master, my lover, my home, my goal, my road, who I learn to see in every situation and in every being I encounter.

Life has turned into the most magical thing.

And I have become a child. And I guess that’s why they finally opened the gates.

Know thyself, they say, and you’ll know all the wonders of the universe.

Unless you become like children, they say, the gates of heavens will remained closed.

It’s because you are it. The universe. The wonders. The Self. The only one being that is actually there. And you are the child of it. The father and the son, or daughter... you are it.

And I believe, since everyone is so fucked up these days and tryin‘ to find themselves, maybe I could help a little. Or entertain someone. Or at least kill some time and write somethin‘ that no one will ever read.

But I feel I have a few stories to share.

But I dont know yet in what way.

I want it to be honest and fantastical at the same time.

It should be both smooth and classy and raw and uncensored.

I wanted it to be fuckin' noble

like a Buddha statue

behind a line of cocain

I want it to be serious and dark and funny and light

every text should be a poem, an essay a report, an adventure, an inspiration, and yet remaining empty and somehow vague for each reader to make it their own.

I want it to be always about God and never mention that cursed word even once. (well I guess, that goal is already missed.)

I wanna say thank you. To everyone I ever met. To every hardship and every joyride. To God who has always been there, especially in the Dark Nights.

I want to write about them, those Dark Nights of the Soul and guide you until you see the morning light again.

I want it to be full with hard and red cocks and wet, dripping pussies, obscene and perverted and then again just write pages over pages about how I try not to masturbate (many pages about not masturbating).

I want it to be spiritual, ancient and yet fresh and fly, timeless and yet contemporary, profound and yet funny. Like consciousness itself. Like waking up on a spring day. Next to a beautiful, naked woman who is still sleeping and drooling, while you’re making fresh orange juice and getting some croissants for her. Yeah, like that.

I want it to be about Jesus and Buddha and Bob Marley, but in a cool way. Like really cool. Because these dudes were cool, thats for sure.

And they certainly didn’t want to be forcefed to people by them hippocrates. They just wanted to share the treasure they found. Because they knew this treasure waits in every human heart to be discovered. They never intended to be forced upon anyone. Quite the opposite.

I don’t want to have an introduction... wait a minute...

It should be a trip. Just a trip.

I always hated writing about myself but whenever I wrote about anything else, people asked to please keep on writing about myself and share my thoughts and feelings. So I guess, that’s what I am gonna write about.

Me. Because at the end. You are just another me. And I am just another you. But the God inside is always the same.

Maybe I just want to share something.

How to be happy, I guess.

And a little bit of poetry.

Maybe I do know what I want to write about.

Maybe tomorrow I start again from the beginning. Who knows?

But just when I stopped scratching my monkeys head and finally found some words

 ...

The Universe changed the damn script.

And time started and killed my sweet timelessness.

...

[caelin-ismycity]

Please tell us more about Tellius ships

god theres a lot of ships with how many bitches there are in this game- like id have to play through the game some more which i plan on doing anyway to write an essay-ass anthology of all the good shit here but for now i can shoot off my faves

ike/boyd:

yall already know i like myself some elihec and one reason is cause of their lil rivalry/best friend relationship yknow- you can look at those losers romantically or not and it’d still be some Good Shit. 

same logic with ike/boyd honestly- especially with there bantering asses in the beginning and generally how boyd tends to think of ike immediately when it comes to finding a sparring partner or just helping him out during their quest with the tri-arrow attack discussed with rolf and oscar.

another scene i found cute was after ike and others disobeyed titania and sought out the bandits alone and when greil is about to rip into ike about disrespecting orders, boyd’s the first one (i think its been awhile since i played that chapter) to step up and take the blame (admitted by him to be pretty out of character which i like to interpret as boyd just being flustered that hes caught caring for ike beyond their competitiveness)

unfortunately, not only is fe9 hard to play legally because of its stupid price, but even if you did sell your soul to buy the game intelligence systems has cursed my household by not allowing ike and boyd to have any support conversations, nor any interactions all together beyond a certain chapter, so ike/boyd is one of the rarest pairs you can like in this series especially considering the most popular ship is ike/soren with the tellius series

ike/ranulf

ike and ranulf meet uhhh god i dont rememebr honestly- but they meet about halfway into the game when ike and co properly become associated with the beast laguz where ranulf, considerably, becomes a reoccurring ally to the greil mercenaries.

couple reasons why i love these two- one being the whole laguz/beorc thing ight (lemme get on that in a sec). i.e., ike is big on joining laguz and beorc together, and ranulf doesnt really seem to mind them (i say ‘doesnt seem to mind them’ because, if i remember right, ranulf has real issues trusting beorc and even tells ike that if he naively trusts people he’ll end up hurt). ergo, id imagine that ike would love to get to know more about the laguz alltogether and ranulf himself (he’s clearly curious considering h is supports with lethe as well). additionally, their C support is fuckin cute as hell with ranulf taking pride in making ike laugh/smile at one of his jokes (which tbh i thought would set the grounds for a lovely af A support but instead i get ranulf calling ike a nitwit for trusting him so easily so thanks intell).

another big moment for me is how ike hardly hesitated to defend ranulf from the other beorcs after he was discovered in that one really racist town (its the one where you get zihark and board nasir’s ship y’all know the one) even if it jeopardized the possibility of them escaping the town quietly (double points for ranulf insisting on ike leaving him alone and ike essentially telling ranulf to fuck off with that shit)

its utter trash that ranulf joins the mercenaries at the very end of the game (maybe chapter 25-26? you get JUST enough chapters to achieve their A support), not to mention he pops in-and-out of the gang’s path to actually talk to ike. but im grateful there’s some content for these two, even if there isn’t as much as i would like

kieren/oscar

again yall know i love that rivalry shit but this time it’s extremely one sided on kieran’s part (oscar more-or-less just dealing with it and not making a fuss about it). but damn if there isn’t potential, especially when you can take kieran’s insistent rivalry as some form of admiration for oscar (not to mention the possibilities of their past with oscar originally working alongside kieran)

double points for kieran’s insistence that oscar come back with him to work as a crimean knight again (obviously more because kieran’s genuinely astonished oscar would willingly work with lowly-payed, unknown, not-pristine mercenaries). you can really just take it as kieran really lowkey missing oscar but being too prideful to admit it

ill also be damned if oscar cooking with kieran/teaching him how to cook wouldnt be the tightest shit to watch; i cant tell if kieran would be too stubborn to let oscar fully mandate what he does, begrudgingly listens to oscar, or is utterly impressed with oscar’s culinary skills and insists that ‘only someone as amazing as his rival would obviously be fit with abilities like that’

kieren/rhys

not exactly phat on my radar but it is cute as hell considering how easily concerned rhys becomes of kieran (and for good reason to the fucker regularly bludgeons himself with an axe and he wrestles bears jesus christ man), so its easy to imagine rhys making the excuse to kind of baby kieran to make sure he isn’t seriously hurt on or off the battlefield to just look/watch him

its also pretty fun to imagine rhys going with kieran when the dumb bitch proudly tells the army he’s about to go bear wrestling and rhys getting to see kieran ;lightly’ clothed to fight a fucking bear

im pretty sure in their A support, rhys tells kieran that if he isn’t more careful then the army’ll lose their most valuable soldier to something as stupid as a self-inflicted axe wound. its obvious that rhys said something along the lines of that (as well as a couple of other things in that support) because he acknowledges kieran’s self importance, but its also cute to imagine that rhys was able to use that fact to his advantage to tell kieran how much he means to himself (bonus points if, alternatively, rhy’s dialogue would follow some shit like ‘I- uh... We can’t lose a soldier as important as you, Kieran.’)

gatrie/shinon

another lowkey one (considering shinon and gatrie are absent for a decent portion of the game post initial chapters), but the one support i did manage to get of them was enough to sell me- cause frankly i find the idea of shinon teasing gatrie about buying them dinner and gatrie just being like “hhrhrum” as he begrudgingly agrees to be endearing; i.e. the sinon mentallity being ‘If you’re going to throw your money at everything, you might as well spend it on something worthwhile’ aka ‘lets just have a nice dinner together instead of you buying some random girl three bouquets of roses’

they also have a pre-planned attack together (albeit quickly mentioned to titania) like cmon they bondin yall they conversin

finally i love how shinon’s taller than gatrie- like this isnt necessarily ship-related i just finally have the opportunity to say it. like shinon could absolutely tease gatrie about it like ‘what did you say you wanted a kiss? ? ? i cant hear you from down there’ and gatrie just playfully punches his arm like ‘bro- dude- cmon please i missed you all day just bend down for two seconds’

i’ve been typing for a while and ive got the attention span of a brick but these are the ships i think of the most. during my second playthrough ill be damned if i dont develop more but feel free to send in more ship shit