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faorism · 3 years

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needing the au to drop wherein i can commit to writing a historical au,, because since i first watched the db cooper job my mind went straight to OT3! OT3! OT3! (unlike with the van gogh job, since i aint playing with that fucking lieutenant)

one day maybe one dayyyyy i will sit down and i will write the ot3 into that episode's story. so, it'll be the backgrounds for the characters in the flashback (so, stephanie ritter, steve reynolds, and reggie wilkins), but with the necessary personality adjustments (parker, eliot, and hardison respectively). basically, vintage ot3 with some hot as hell aesthetics and secrets and avoiding as much as possible producing copraganda.

so. my thoughts. what i see happening. and this got super long so im throwing this under a cut. and for ease i will call them by their modern day canon names except when making a point.

first, general thoughts about the characters.

and so: steve to eliot. nothing much here on the surface. eliot still volunteers, too much an indoctrinated white man to have been forcibly drafted. so its still one man gone to war. one man come back. eliot would had been noticed early in training for his ability to pick shit up, and they teased at maybe sending him to a special unit. maybe they do, or maybe they don't because they just need to funnel fuckers to the jungle. the vietnam invasion was a terrorist imperialist venture and there's no romanticizing from me about anything done being at all valorous or special or brother-in-arms'y. and eliot commits war crimes under the american stars and stripes instead of just to keep moreau's champaign running. but also maybe moreau is eliot's superior. he certainly would have been rewarded for this ruthlessness. (eliot of course strove to impress moreau because there aint an eliot spencer who wasn't that man's dog at some point, i!!!! dont make the rules). eliot's friend died and eliot's gone off to carry out his wishes and moreau lets him because he Knows eliot is gonna come back. whether its to come back to the same squad, or follow him into deeper spy shit for the military, or to fuck off and go private. then eliot meets parker.

now. stephanie to parker. beth plays normal so well im mad at her, but there's something edgy and strategic about stephanie that i think parker can grab onto. i feel that maybe she was kind of a thief still, but there's more realism to this world so archie wasnt a super secret spy with lasers to practice with, but just a guy with sticky fingers whos a little bored and wants a protege. parker is good really good at what she does, and not having to deal with lasers makes me easy. but she's into scams that are less grifts and more Catch Me If You Can slight of hands. she's always looking for easy money (she was into lifting cars at one point! literally she follows where the crime is). she's doing something in an airport and someone tries to recruit her as a flight attendant because she's got the Look. and yall, flight attendants? that shit was like being a model and an astronaut and a time traveler back then. and according to a teacher i had, who once worked as in the f.a. union, those ladies back in the day were rad and queer and free spirited and runnnnning shit. i think, yes, it's a Job which i think we might resist placing parker into. but! of the jobs, at the time, i really see her rocking it during the time period. (also come on, the opportunities to swindle distracted people of their shit would be endless. they would just think they dropped their stuff in the airport! not that it was stolen.)

finally, reggie to alec. i think hardison will be the hardest to translate. even tho i admittedly listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, i dont know much about fbi life and also definitely don't know about it historically. part of me desperately wants to put him somewhere else even if it does have to stay within the fbi. i might cheat and make him like a Q(uartermaster) to 007/00s like in james bond, and he's like UGH this is horrible god i hate working for the fbi but they will give me funding so...... anyway, here's this totally cool [radio term]. that said, if hardison is stuck in the fbi, why he ends up there is that he is a fucking savant when it comes to research and the man can put together a presentation like no one else. that white man gets all the credit for profiling but it was hardison who goddamn was the google of the microfilm days. reggie felt super square but that might be because he had to deal with mcsweeties db cooper shit day in and day out for years. hardison is more himself. and definitely still a nerd. alec would be into dime fantasy novels and comics and ham radios and oh god he also would be into star trek like the original star trek as it came out and he would be into the zines yes! yessss. omg. also he plays a mean arcade cabinet. but he's mostly well adjusted but lonely. his colleagues dont appreciate him because fbi esp during that time were fucking wilding out and racist as hell aaaaaand im sorry im srry im trying so hard to have fbi hardison make sense but also! acab. ANYWAY.

second, the relationship

i think it would be fun to play with what it means to have parker/eliot start off first and bring in hardison afterwards. (if white collar is your thing, it would be like this canon divergent ot3 fic wherein peter burke is the last to join in.) i feel they would be Super Intense esp since they are carrying this big ass secret. kind of broken and dysfunctional and there's the passion and the commitment, but i think there's also a tenderness that's super hard for them to achieve? and i think there's a way that hardison plays such an important part in who they are and how they are. like, sure i think parker/eliot would have joy but they won't have levity. they would have compassion but they won't have gentleness.

eliot meets hardison after being recruited by nate. i think they get close because while nate and eliot have an interesting and compelling mentorship/friendship, nate is still eliots superior; sometimes its nice to complain about your boss, as hardison will say to eliot to try to make friends. i think hardison and eliot would become legit friends and not just work buddies because they are just not cut out of the same cloth as the rest of their colleagues. they grab beers after work. after hard days, hardison cajoles eliot into going to the arcade. they are friends. real real truly deep best friends, in a way hardison didn't think he could have with a fed and eliot didnt think he would have after his friend died. but also? they are like "buds" who are buds who are desperately tryna to cross any lines because there's a.... tension? an UST between them they dont know what to do with.

parker meets eliot by way of a "lets have my friend for dinner, he's a blast." and immediately immediately hardison is like... wow this woman is beautiful but like, really attracted to her personality. and parker things hardison is kinda dorky but cute dorkie? anyway, they have a puppy love situation growing. and it keeps growing until bam. eliot and parker are like. are we into alec???? fuck we are aren't we.

i think stephanie and steve would never tell reggie (even if somehow they were to be a thing). but parker and eliot? hell yeah they tell hardison. eventually. after a while. sooner than maybe they should. the tension if they should say something is one of the things that build up as UST between them for so long; parker and eliot know they are carrying this huge thing. two huge things. eliot being db cooper and also their massive crush on him.

if i could control myself to stick to a pwp, it would be another christmas. maybe the christmas nine (more?) years down the road. the damn snow grounded hardison's flight back to his nana's, and parker and eliot hear this and invite him over. the egg nog gets flowing and parker eventually is like,, fuck this. and comes onto hardison. and hardison would be like wow wow what but... idk, free love and swinging were In The Thoughts And Minds Of The People. he still checks in with eliot who is like. her body, man; i aint gonna tell her what to do. and for a sec hardison is like, man is this a cuck situation? i guess i can be for it but also...... aint mad if i aint alone. and eliot is so grateful and idk. i just want them all to be happy and having fun and no one to be left out. and yeah i am kinda brushing over a lot of the racial politics which, in a more developed fic rather than a pwp, would definitely need to be brought in; but idk that needs to just be in the bedrock of whatever plot is going into this.

it takes a lot of maneuvering of their lives but they make it work and eventually hardison is a keeper of eliot's secret too.

(apart from the historical aspect, another reason i probably won't actually write this is because i know myself. i would want to do worldbuilding. i would follow eliot and alec to their jobs, but i wouldnt want to write outright copaganda. the grit/realism i would be comfortable with would take a level of research i dont think i can commit to. but if someone wants to take this up or if you figure out a way around this issue, pls do i wont be mad)

#eliot spencer #parker leverage #alec hardison #leverage #thiefsome #okay i srsly am not this active but this week got me wanting to talk and talk about these three beauties #the db cooper job

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district2001 · 4 years

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Fake Fan

Seventeen AU: 14th member

ERA: An Ode/ Fear

Jangmi x SVT

Recap: Jangmi deals with an unpleasant situation at a fansign, and takes it a lot worse than she expected

Words: 1.3k

AN: Requests are OPEN: Please please please send me what you want to see from Jangmi. I’m also open to feedback :)

Let me know if you want a part 2 on the members reactions

CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST FOR MORE JANGMI CONTENT XX

“OMG We have matching earrings!” Jangmi squealed as she continued signing the carats album, adding a quick ‘twinning’ alongside her autograph.

Seventeen were currently smack bang in the middle of the ‘An Ode’ promotions, and their schedule was packed with music shows, radio interviews and fan signs. The latter being her favourite. She could secretly eat snacks, mess up the performance as much as she pleased as well as spill some of the tea with Carats.

She waved goodbye the fan, before taking a sip of her water whilst waiting for the next fan to move along. She was squashed between Mingyu and Hoshi, who had both decided that would be super loud and annoying today. She grabbed one of the feather boas near Mingyu and wrapped it around her neck. It definitely didn’t match her leather suit, but the bright pink allowed her to stand out from the rest of the members. As if being the only girl wasn’t enough.

She turned to face the next carat, who was still talking to Mingyu. Must be their bias, she thought. Jangmi continued waving at the fans back in their seat, making stupid faces to them.

One of their staff came up behind her and tugged the boa, so it came off her neck. Jangmi turned around to face them, whilst pouting.

“Nice try.” They teased, ruffling her hair slightly, but not enough to ruin the difficult task their hairstylists had this morning. They then ushered the fan who was still with Mingyu, to move over to Jangmi.

“Hi, how are you today? Is Mingyu your bias?” Jangmi asked. Whilst trying to grabs the fans hands to hold. But they just shoved their hands back.

Strange. Jangmi thought. But then again not everyone wants to hold hands.

“He’s my favourite person in the entire world.” The fan declared, a smile on her face from ear to ear.

Jangmi politely smiled. “He’s a good bias to have. I mean did you see the amount of content he gives carats. Mukbangs after emceeing every weekend. I think Joshua’s stans are in a continuous drought.”

Jangmi reached over to grab the album, but the fan once again pulled it out of the way, hugging it tightly

“Do you bias him” they asked cautiously.

Jangmi tilted her head, at the strange question. “Ofcourse I do.” She then lowered her voice into a whisper. “He’s my favourite member.”

The last comment, which was meant to be a joke, clearly hadn’t turned into one, since the fan was furrowing her eyebrows at Jangmi.

Jangmi awkwardly looked around, trying to find a way to diffuse the tension. She couldn’t think of anything, so she leaned over to get the album- to sign- since it was technically a fansign.

What she didn’t expect was the ‘carat’ to thwart her hand away.

“Stop throwing yourself at Mingyu, you little slut. I know he’s your boyfriend” They whispered, loud enough only for Jangmi to hear.

“He’s- He’s not?” It can out more like a question then a statement. Jangmi furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

The fan quickly grabbed Jangmi’s hands, and squeezed them a little too tightly, for her liking. She tried pulling away, but they started digging their nails into her skin.

“I don’t even understand what he sees in you. You’re just a little fat fuck who is free-riding on Seventeens success. Don’t think you’re better than anyone else. You don’t deserve his heart”

Jangmi widened her eyes, trying to silently motion for the staff to come over. Where were they when she needed them.

“Please let go of me before I call security.” She firmly said, hoping they didn’t catch the little quiver in her voice.

The fan leaned over closer and sneered, tightening their grip on her arms. “Do it, I dare you. Bring more attention towards the truth.”

She was weighing up her options, when Hoshi suddenly interrupted her train for thought. “Jangmi, don’t steal all our carats.”

“I’m not.” Jangmi scoffed, holding up her hands which were still being held by their fan. “She’s not letting go.”

“Not her fault everyone loves her.” Mingyu chimed, causing the fans eyes to widen.

“Do you love Jangmi?” The fan asked quickly, tripping over their words.

Mingyu, being the most unobservant person on the planet replied with a simple “obviously,” whilst leaning his head on Jangmi’s shoulder.

Jangmi tried pushing him off to not make the situation worse, but the damage was done once the fan let go of her hands and stood up on their chair.

“Everyone” She yelled, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and look at her. “Mingyu just confirmed that he loves Jangmi.”

Jangmi held her breath, waiting for the crowd and staff to go crazy.

They did not.

They just laughed, and went back to doing what they were doing before the interruption.

Jangmi mentally laughed. Why was she even worried? Carats were so used to dating rumours with her and her members. Legit. They don’t even trust Dispatch anymore.

Unfortunately, her happiness was short lived, when the fan started yelling again. Except this time, instead of spilling the tea, she was calling Jangmi out for being a shitty human being.

“What does Mingyu even see in that talented bitch?” All the members stopped signing again, with Seungcheol pre-empting the situation and alerting security.

“Mingyu’s never going to be yours. You can’t sing. Can’t dance. Can’t rap. You can’t even speak Korean. Plus you look like you need to go on a diet. You’d probably have been kicked out already if you were in a kpop girlgroup.”

Hoshi quickly stood up, pulling Jangmi with him, and stood infront of her, shielding her from the fan.

“Ignore it.” He whispered, not breaking the deathgare he was shooting at their fan.

The fan’s rant was cut short by security asking her politely to get down from the stool and walk off stage.

Jangmi felt someone’s hands wrap around her shoulders, and she leant into their embrace, slightly embarrassed for being the centre of this whole ordeal.

“You know what?” The fan screamed at their security. “I don’t want this shitty album anyway. Since her medicore vocals are on it.” She pointed her finger at Jangmi before hurling the CD towards her.

Jangmi, who was too busy looking at her members reactions, didn’t have enough time to process what was happening. And before she knew it, she felt the sharp corner of their album hit her cheek, before crashing on the floor.

Hoshi quickly turned around to face his maknae and cupped her slightly red cheeks. “Are you okay?” He asked worriedly, quickly scanning her face for any signs of distress.

She nodded while biting her lip, trying not to show any emotion. That was the first rule of fansigns; make it a positive and fun environment for carats.

She felt the arm around her shoulder pull her towards the side of the stage, and she didn’t object. Instead she grabbed one of the signs she was gifted as shielded herself from the fans.

“Thanks Hannie” She whispered, as they walked off the stage.

Hannie’s arm was replaced by their managers, who guided her to the nearest couch.

“Go back onstage. And tell everyone that everything’s under control.”

“Can’t I stay with Jangmi for a little while.” Jeonghan pleaded, but one look of their managers face made it clear that it was no point arguing.

Jeonghan quickly untied her high ponytail and took out all the bobby pins, before running his fingers through her hair. “Just relaxed for a bit. Don’ worry we can handle the rest of the fansign.”

He quickly ran back on stage, but not before turning around and giving her a thumbs up.

Her manager came back over to give her a bottle of cold water, which she gladly accepted.

It’s not like she hadn’t received hate comments before. She was basically the only girl in a group full of guys. Not to mention that they were all considered visuals, and she-well the fan was right- definitely did not fit into any of the beauty standards of the industry.

But she had never really had to deal with a hater in person before, especially right in front of her. Usually, they just talked shit on the internet, and she could give a snarky reply from her secret fan account.

This was different. Everyone heard it. And she was so sure it would be the talk of the town for the next few weeks. Pledis would make a statement, the members would be ultra protective of her and her parents would once again question her decision of being an idol. Fucking fantastic!

She heard Seungcheol making a statement, and fans screaming back towards him. She heard a few ‘I love You’s’ and ‘Jangmi’s,’ but she honestly was a bit over the situation, to really understand what was happening.

As she sunk deeper into the couch, she accepted the fact that she was not ok after this ordeal. But she’d have to keep on a brave face. Considering the end of promotions was nowhere near in sight.

Next: Hyung Line’s Reaction

#seventeen #svt #seventeen fic #seventeen imagine #svt imagine #svt fic #seventeen angst #seventeen 14th member #seventeen au #seventeen oc #svt oc #kpop oc #female member kpop #kpop additional member #kpop additional female member #kpop #hate

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butterflyinthewell · 4 years

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I’m going to tell you the story of why I love Godzilla.

When I say not to make fun of an autistic person’s special interests, I say it from a place of deep understanding and pain. For me, an autistic SpIn is like being in love, or (for the aro folks out there), it’s like being with your best friend ever and it just feels so comfortable and good.

Sooooo in January my dad mentions wanting to watch KOTM with me. Any excuse to watch KOTM is good, so of course I jumped on it. We watched Godzilla KOTM. It’s the movie I spent all of 2019 talking about from January to May. I got it for Christmas 2019 because mom knew I was going to want it as soon as the first roar hit the screen in the theater. (I took her to see it as a Mother’s Day gift, she liked it too.)

Lemme tell y’all something: when I was a young kid, my dad got me into Godzilla. Starting when I was around 5, he told me the stories of the movies he’d seen (the whole Showa era and Godzilla 1985). So I knew about Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, King Ghidorah, Minya, MechaGodzilla, Gigan, Hedorah, Megalon, etc long before I ever saw them.

My dad said “these are important characters.”

Then he started renting the movies when he felt I was old enough to not be scared by them (age 7 in 1987) and pointed out who was who.

And my first ‘real meeting’ with Godzilla was the same as the people in 1954, when he popped his head over that hill and roared that haunting sound I never forgot, and I was hooked forever.

I loved it. I loved all of it. Dad warned me about the ending of the ‘54 movie, so I wasn’t surprised by it, but I still cried! He got me over it by showing the the rest of them, as if to go “see, he’s okay!” Then dad warned me that Godzilla was ‘the bad guy’ again in Godzilla 1985, but didn’t tell me how it ended. I was reaaaaally upset when he fell into that volcano. I probably cried about it for three days. That scream still hits something in my soul.

My favorite childhood Godzilla movie is Godzilla’s Revenge. It’s the first Godzilla movie I ever owned. I loved Ichiro’s dreams of making friends with Minya, outsmarting his kidnappers and standing up to his bullies. I even tried to pick up Monster Island using a little portable am/fm radio I had as a kid. It didn’t work, all I got was static, but I sure tried! 😋

I wanted to be an island lady like Saeko from Son of Godzilla who could call monsters for help. I wanted to be a cyborg like Katsura, except I would use MechaGodzilla to make friends with Godzilla instead of trying to hurt him.

Anyway...

Dad’s interest in Godzilla stuff kinda dropped away as the 90s hit and my autistic traits began to make me deviate more and more noticeably from my peers. I had seen all the Showa era movies, so he stopped telling stories because there weren’t any more to tell.

My love for Godzilla carried on into the Heisei era and beyond. Dad acted like I should “leave that crap behind” when I kept buying movies and talking about them to him. He didn’t want to watch them with me or look at pictures in the Godzilla Compendium I picked up.

I didn’t stop my enthusiasm for Godzilla, I just stopped sharing it with dad. I kept at it through high school. I sobbed over Godzilla vs Destroyah because I thought that was the end of the franchise, and I can’t even mention what happened to Godzilla in that movie. If you’ve seen it, you know.

In the year 1998 the rumblings for the ‘98 movie started around New Years, so of course I made noise about going to see it. Because GODZILLA, y’all!

Well, dad surprised me and took me to see Godzilla ‘98 when it came out. I had been bugging about going to see it and he kept giving me a hard no, then had me convinced we were going to a baseball game that night instead. I did nothing to disguise my boredom or hurt in the car, and it broke when we pulled up to the theater. Okay, he pulled a fast one on me and he said I did an emotional 180 spin, but it was worth it. (I still like that movie, but I don’t call that creature Godzilla. I call him Zilla or GINO instead.)

Literally right after that my dad would get mad if I talked about Godzilla. He griped that I was “so obsessed with that stupid monster” and that I needed to grow up. I was almost 18, and I had, just not the way HE wanted, I guess...

Godzilla 2000 came out. Dad grudgingly took mom and me to see it, and I finally got to live my dream of seeing a legit Toho Godzilla movie in theaters. I was yelling and clapping (as were other people) and just had a huge blast. In the car, he told me to knock it off when I talked excitedly about what I liked in the movie. He slapped down all talk of Godzilla.

I still continued to be a fan. When more Millennium era movies came out, I grabbed them when I saw them on the shelves. I got everything from Godzilla vs Megaguirus to Godzilla: Final Wars in a little Japanese shop my dad found near where he worked at the time. I was in my early 20s then. I also got some figurines from that store: a Heisei era Mothra, a Heisei era King Ghidorah and a Millenium era (Final Wars) Godzilla. Dad rolled his eyes when I walked out with them in my arms.

And so began his weird pattern of indulging my interest, but getting upset at me if I talked about it. I was discovering the online fandom at this point, so I had another outlet, but still, it used to be our thing, and his behavior really stung.

I only discovered there were more movies in the Millenium era becuse I happened across GMK on HBO and realized I didn’t recognize that Godzilla suit or the setting.

Then I missed the ending because of a very badly timed phone call. But I was like “omg more Godzilla movies...hey dad, can we go to that shop?” (And then I was like a dragon with treasure when I came home....)

I grabbed the two Kiryu movies first because a certain fanfic author in the fandom had written some Mechagodzilla fanfics where Kiryu (Kiryuu in her stories) was sentient and sexy af. The idea of the original Godzilla being brought back as a robot was amazing and that author basically took the idea and ran it to another level. She’s the reason I headcanon the 54 Gojira as Heisei Godzilla’s dad.

ANYWAY, I got all caught up on the Godzilla movies and blew up to a boiling fan girl froth when the 2014 movie got advertised.

I took mom to see that becuse dad’s Parkinson’s had advanced so far that he couldn’t go out much anymore. Mom likes Godzilla movies and sci-fi in general. While she’s not as into it as me, she enjoys them for the entertainment. We both liked G2014, so I got it for Christmas.

We watched it with dad as a family, he said it was okay.

Through 2016 and 2017 I was rattling on about Shin Godzilla. Got that as a late 37th birthday gift because it came out on dvd a few days after my actual birthday. I watched it for the first time with dad, and he complained the whole time and kind of ruined the experience for me, which pissed me off. HE was the one who wanted to watch it with me, now I wish I watched it alone instead.

2019 came, KOTM happened. So that brings me to sitting down to watch it with dad. I was excited see his reaction to the monsters he introduced me to in childhood realized with modern cgi effects and all. I love seeing things that remind me of happy times in my childhood, and I thought those memories were fond for him, too. So I watched, waiting for him to recognize Mothra, Rodan and King Ghidorah.

He said nothing when they came onscreen. I got engrossed in the movie and sort of forgot about it, but when it was over I bounced up and asked, “Wasn’t it cool to see the guys you told me stories about when I was 5?”

I thought back while I waited for him to answer. I thought back on the stories, the fun and the movies.

I thought back on how my love for this character has grown, and how in KOTM it was physically realized in that painful moment when Ishiro Serizawa looks up at Godzilla with such reverence and lays his hand on his snout. I feel like that was Dougherty telling all the fans he sees their love for Godzilla and gives them that one singular, intimate audience with the big guy through Serizawa. Because who wouldn’t want to give him a pat on the nose and thank him?

The director of KOTM understands what Godzilla means to the fans. He understands how they feel and what they want. In my mind he gave it in spades.

But my dad...

My dad, the man who taught me enough to get me into Godzilla forever, looked at me in the eyes and said, “I don’t remember any of it. They’re not that important anyway.”

“These are important characters.” Much younger dad said to much younger me.

“They’re not that important anyway.” Older modern day dad said to older modern day me.

I thought my heart had stopped and my soul fled through the floor. This franchise, these characters he brought to me with such enthusiasm, something that grew into a lifelong love, meant nothing to him. It was as if he gave me a diamond and later told me it was worthless glass to him. Godzilla was and still is a huge part of my life and who I am, and dad acted like this “us” thing I thought we bonded over during my childhood didn’t matter to him.

It’s almost like he expected me to take passing interest and then move on, but because I’m autistic and because I relate to Godzilla so much, my interest turned into love and respect for the character, what he represents and the messages he has sent throughout the years.

Part of who I am is shaped, literally, by Godzilla, something that started because my dad told me he existed. And in a sentence my dad took that root from my childhood and ripped it out because he decided it was a worthless weed.

It’s not my love for Godzilla that was ripped out. It’s the love I thought my dad felt for me when he was telling me all those stories and showing me the movies. I’m sharing this because I love Godzilla, because I love what he represents and means to me, and I thought my dad shared it with me for the same reason. This is a very autistic thing...I’m sure autistic readers can feel my love for Godzilla just by reading this.

I thought my dad did, too, once.

But no. There was no love at all like I thought there was, so I was not pouring my love into an ocean that still existed, I was throwing it into a black hole.

Dad didn’t care to remember Rodan, or Mothra, or King Ghidorah. He didn’t care to remember what all that meant to me during my childhood because he doesn’t and never has cared about my feelings.

He doesn’t care about my feelings.

He wants me to shut up about Godzilla.

I will not.

I love Godzilla. I don’t need dad’s approval anymore. I will turn 40 this year (2020) and there is no stopping what began 35 years ago. The plant that grew around the root dad planted is shaped like me now, and like Biollante I will keep blooming because Godzilla was my first love fandom-wise and that admiration and love for him stands on its own.

Dad no longer has a say.

But, my God, my dad has this remarkable ability to tell me something is important when I’m young and then claim it isn’t so many years later. He’s done it for a lot of things, but hearing him say Godzilla isn’t important after instilling his importance into me at a young age just...gutted me...and it gutted me as much as the time he asked me what I did to make kids bully me when I was being bullied as a teen.

I got bullied because I’m autistic. I existed. He said it was my fault for being that way. I was a newly diagnosed teenager when he said that. It was 1995, ironically, the same year Godzilla vs Destroyah came out.

And I was an adult when he ripped at that root of Godzilla he planted in me.

Godzilla was the last part of my childhood that he hadn’t sunk his abuse into, but he finally did in January of 2020. Now there is no part of my life untouched by his emotionally abusive crap.

It shouldn’t hurt like this. I feel ridiculous to be hurt so deeply, but I can’t keep pretending that I’m not hurt by it anymore.

I will get over it. My absolute love and respect for Godzilla is something my dad can never destroy no matter how much he tries to shit talk about it. I’ve let him ruin so many things, but not Godzilla.

Godzilla will never be a trigger for me. He is an anti trigger. On this day of April 19, 2020, I’m realizing he is the protector my dad failed to be.

To all parents of autistic kids, be careful that you don’t belittle the things you said were important when they were young. Don’t introduce something that becomes a special interest, say it’s important and then belittle it when they grow up.

Even if you don’t think it’s important anymore now, even if you think it’s silly now, even if you didn’t know they were autistic at the time and would dive in like that, it may still be important to them.

It may become their safe place. It may become treasure.

Don’t try to destroy that safety. Don’t treat it like trash.

#actuallyautistic #special interest #godzilla #emotional abuse #gaslighting #dad issues #swearing #ableism #gifs #long post #tw emotional abuse #tw gaslighting

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hazelenergy · 4 years

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What happened that final night.

One year ago today was my last Elysium in Atlanta. And in a mere 48 hours, I will have betrayed and killed my adoptive sire, blood bonded myself to the wild sister of two famous Malkavians, and lost two people I loved.

A few days prior to this night was the beginning of the end. A bloodhunt was called in Atlanta. Not for me. Not for the other thinbloods. A salubri had entered the city. Our adoptive sire, Mary Andrews and primogen of the Tremere (and the only Tremere in the city..I dont know actually why she was alone but I have theories) ordered her children, myself and my two shovelheaded broodmates to bring this man to her alive. We complied. At first.

Solomon had been working closely with Reverend Clancy, the primogen of Clan Brujah. We never knew Solomon’s bloodline, but he vibed with the righteous and nonviolent nature of Clancy’s leadership. Clancy told us the other half of the history of clan Tremere and the Salubri. We were devastated. And now our adoptive sire wanted this man and would probably experiment on him like she did to us. And it would be worse. He can heal. He’d be able to endure what she did to us. So Clancy asked us, two lowly thinbloods, to help him and his clan free this man and get him out of the city. We said yes without questioning the consequences.

Long story short we put our ability to blend with humans to the test at Airport security. We managed to slide through the TSA check with ease- without tipping off the inquisition either. Solomon and I had intercepted the international flight by getting the plane to dock in the incorrect port, allowing the Salubri to slip past the sheriff and his hired guards. Things didn’t go as well as we hoped- as the Sheriff caught on to someone was messing with the radio tower and hopped over to where we were hiding. We had already called the brujah boys to the airfield to intercede the sheriff’s men. A huge fire fight broke out. The brujah were losing so Solomon and I made a rash decision. We used far reach together and launched a fuel tank at the gun fight- fire engulfed the scene. Solomon and I fled into the night- starving, but unscathed. Cue camarilla media blackout and clean up.

The next night we were ordered to return to the chantry. We refused and gave pitiful excuses saying things like keeping face by going to a night job or Solomon had a legit excuse of needing to write his Yom Kippur service. Instead we tracked down Clancy and the brujah and high tailed the Salubri out of Atlanta. Clancy handled the money for the dark flight and I wore less clothing to convince the guy to bypass security. Our Salubri was in the air and out of Atlanta. But the sheriff was on our trail. Someone had to take the blame. Clancy knew how hard we had worked. He was the only kindred who knew about the safehouse project. He took the fall for freeing the Salubri and let himself be staked by the sheriff as we fled unseen into the night.

The following night, we did go to Mary’s Haven. She immediately shoveled us into the car and took us to Elysium. She knew we had something to do with this. Or just wanted to see us squirm. Regardless. Clancy had been placed on trial for his crimes against the Prince and the brujah were ready to Throw. Down. The air was tense and violent choleric resonances dominated the room. There is one brujah in particular, Jamal. He was basically an anarch. The only reason he wasn’t a Baron and fighting the Prince was because of his faith and trust in Clancy. He was nearly going to free Clancy then and there- if it wasn’t for Solomon. Sol begged him to let him play the political game first. Solomon offered himself to the prince as the duskborn primogen. He advised the prince that Clancy’s life was the spindly thread that kept the brujah from rioting. Solomon ruled that Clancy should be exiled but allowed to live. The Prince agreed. The brujah and Jamal backed down- begrudgingly. Clancy was still staked and was to be driven out of the city once Solomon achieved a few goals as his new primogen. Mary was furious. Was it because her ex had arrived in the city and had gotten close to her other child? Oh that was a part of it- for sure. Somehow this night really did not go according to plan and the car ride home was AWKWARD.

That night Mary tried to get me to drink from her again- which uhhh no. Idk what you all know about Tremere who follow Carna- but they can still blood bond. And that made her even angrier. She was willing to try anything to get either myself or Solomon to comply. We resisted. That’s when I figured out Mary had slipped on some control over us and wanted to reclaim it. So, I left the haven that night and went to get some sweet distractions at Atlanta’s Asylum chain. That’s when I decided to stop being careful and took that final drink- as a huge fuck you to Mary and to give myself the edge I wanted. I’d have the swirling madness and premonitions in my system for a while and could be thinking ahead of her. I didn’t realize how loopy I’d get. I felt higher than ever before and couldn’t keep my thoughts from spilling out of my mouth. I stumbled back into the chantry and told my adoptive sire this:

“I reject your blood.”

and

“Any kindred that bothers with me is up to something. You. You chose me. YOURE Up to Something And I wont let it happen.”

She looked me in the eye and said, "tell the truth."

I babbled about everything. The page from the book of Nod and how I copied it. The alchemy I kept from her. The thaumaturgy I tried and made a mess. How she blood bonded Tommy. Letting the Salubri go. How I knew about her plan to usurp the Prince- the madness told me what she’d do. We argued until the sun came up. I went to bed, thinking that I’d have to continue the talk in the evening. I didn’t expect to find myself warded into my own room, windows loaded with explosives, security cameras installed, and my girlfriend Lisa trapped with me. Mary had called an emergency Elysium- excluding Solomon. They were planning our executions. I made it out, barely. Mary’s ghoul and Lisa were killed when one of the explosives went off. There was nothing left but her necklace. In a fit of grief, rage, sorrow I don’t know what emotions I was feeling but it was a lot of them. I obliterated the wards around Mary’s private lab and took whatever I could carry.

We drove off, thinking we’d lay low for a few hours before Mary could use trail of prey on me. We could beg borrow and steal to get our things and get out. I had just parked the car when I vomited the first time. My blood began bubbling and boiling and oozing out of every open surface it could. I had three bullet holes in my stomach- the bullets were pushed out as my blood gushed. I spent the next fifteen minutes in agonizing pain as Mary called my phone. She heard every gag and wretch- and laughed. The ultimatum was to bring me before the Prince to be put out of my misery, and return what I stole. I told her to go fuck herself. Within seconds, my blood was boiling again and I was a mess on the sidewalk.

The next few hours were agony waiting. I didn’t know if she’d do it again. But the clock was ticking. The Prince had ordered a hunt for us. And Mary’s ritual to dominate the Prince and the entire court was already ignited. We could have just fled right then. Fuck the Camarilla of Atlanta. Fuck everything about this place. Lets leave and never look back.... But Solomon still had too much to lose in Atlanta- and was willing to fight for it. And Cass had old wounds from Mary (they were an item at one point omg). And I wanted to go so badly- but what I wanted more was to see her vitae spilling out onto the floor as I drove my knife through her. So after cleaning myself from the third wave of dagons call and alleycat hunting for the first time- we took what little time we had left in the city to put an end to this.

We used the first hour before sunset to gear up. I immediately drove out to the few spots to where thinbloods were hiding and told them to RUN. Find a new city or something- just get out. A few times they looked at me with power hungry eyes. It was a perfect opportunity to take a wanted kindred to the Prince and move up the ranks. I reminded them that they are not known by the prince. And to take me in was to also announce themselves- amidst a time when they are using thinbloods as scapegoats for anything gone wrong. And BOY. Is it going wrong. The last stop I made was to my alchemical dealer. I drained my bank account and bought some of the most powerful brews I’ve ever drank. As a parting gift, or grift if you ask me, he let me have his best brew: Potence.

Solomon went to free Clancy with a group of the brujah boys. A minor fire fight broke out. Solomon was a bit roughed up- both physically and spiritually. I think he had broken one of his own oaths and it was weighing heavily on him.

When we met up at the edges of Mary’s Haven- we didn’t realize how quickly she had redone the wards. As one of the Brujah boys drove up the path it kept twisting and winding to steer us back to the front gate. Eventually I crawled into the drivers seat. Even though I wasn’t welcome anymore- I was the last one to drive this path and now armed with malkavian whispers. It wasn’t my best driving. Certainly creative. But I got us to the bottom of the hill and we could see the lights to the haven. Mary had laid tons of traps as we made our crawl up to the porch. Landmines specifically. Seriously, where the fuck did she get these? Were they always here?

When we made it to the porch, the sheriff sat illuminated by the single flickering light. That certainly explains why it was so easy to bust Clancy out. Solomon took the diplomatic approach and tried to reason with the sheriff. I knew it wasn’t going to work and hovered one of the explosives over him. If anything happened to Solomon I’d-- two gunshots. Solomon clutched his chest and fell to the ground. There goes the second person I believed was actually good in this world. Thats when fresh vitae rained from above. Yeah, this is where I get frenzy bombs. The brujah boys immediately attack each other. Clancy and I keep our cool.

I dropped the explosive and the sheriff flies back into the haven. I go to enter the door, and am met with Mary’s hell cat. Far reached the cat aside. I didn’t care. Nothing was going to stand between me and ending this. The sheriff, his skin singed and peeling, turned to me with frenzied eyes. Far reach again. He’ll never lay a hand on me again. I held him still as Cass drove the stake through his chest. We tossed him aside.

Thats when we realized the basement was warded. It sent Cass flying back everytime she got close. Even Clancy couldn’t get closer than five feet to the doorway. So I pulled out that potence brew and drank it. I slammed my fist into the mahogany floorboards and crashed through two levels of the haven. I fell to my knees surrounded by rubble and looked up to see my adoptive sire performing her ritual- the circle nearly illuminated. “Mom, I’m home.”

When it came down to it, my hand shook and I couldn’t pull the trigger. At first I tried to far reach her out of her circle, but my hunger had gotten the best of me. So instead, Cass took my hand. She fired at my adoptive sire. The Tremere collapsed and fell to ash. I hadn’t seen someone suffer final death before. I stared at the wispy grey ashes fluttering around the room. Suddenly, the house began to crack and crumble. Clancy grabbed both me and Cass and leaped out of the rubble. When we got back to the ground level- the sheriff was gone. Jamal had taken all of him-the last drop. He told Clancy that Atlanta won’t be the same without him- but its going to change in a way he didn’t like. Clancy looked so disappointed. Without a word, He turned and picked up Solomon’s corpse. Sol was now warm. He was dying. He breathed his last breath in Clancy’s arms. The old brujah carried him to his family that night and they got to give him the proper funeral for his faith.

I told Jamal my dark secret and it’s why I couldn’t stay in Atlanta. He told me to get moving and come back when I’m zeroed. “I need a chameleon that can put on charm and take a punch like you.” I was still chased out of Atlanta by a few kindred who wanted that sweet sweet blood hunt boon- but Jamal used it to his advantage. He took them out as I sped away with Cass to Miami. I don’t know what the affairs of Atlanta are like- a mere year later. I know Jamal was going for the Prince since was now without a sheriff missing his two heavy hitting primogen. But regardless of who is in charge- the duskborn trio perished in that haven that night. And we keep it that way.

~HB

_____

Here Jackie, this is the sob story. @ventrue-in-control

#vtm #thats what happened #most of this is canon...in the chronicle the third drink didnt happen but hazel was still loopy af #vtm chronicle #vampire the masquerade v5 #vtm rp

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angelhummel · 4 years

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6x05

this episode actually is making me ill lmao it’s so bad

idk what it is about these songs that make it so nothing. my sharona is fine and i love you spin me right round but all these covers are just so flat. i’d literally prefer they just do the s4 method of listening to the radio for twenty minutes and including every song that they heard in an episode

so my number one pet peeve of tv shows and such is telling and not showing when it comes to relationships. two characters have nothing in common, probably barely know each other, maybe they even kissed or had a moment together but there’s literally no genuine chemistry. and then someone is like “oh they’re in love” or they say “oh we’re in love” and you’re supposed to be like “oh they’re in love” but what’s your evidence?? where is this love?? i dont see it

anyway they literally did the opposite here when sue is watching the klaine tapes and becky is like “they don’t even look like they like each other” like child where?? sorry my otp is the only one capable of conveying genuine love and emotion while yours is either straight and made eye contact once so they’re soulmates, or one half of your couple spent more time on insulting someone than they did proposing to the supposed love of their life lmao. tragic

also ive said this before but why is rachel acting like she’s horrible for not remembering the s4 newbies?? she was back at mckinley the least out of all the alums and saw them maybe twice?? why do they care about some random woman knowing their names or not?? so dumb

also she did say “crossdressing mercedes” but that just makes me hate the writers and not rachel so

omg blaine legit growled?? hilarious but also lowkey sexy

also in the list of my questionable ships - rachel and kitty

“It’s a lot harder to be devoted to kids I don’t like” wow will schuester teacher of the year

you’re telling me chris and darren came up with mc hot chocolate and little feta?? icons only

yeah that game really felt improvised omg. but in a good way

oof all that stupidity was almost worth it for that kiss. literally had to slow it down or it would’ve melted everyone’s tvs lol. also actors don’t kiss with tongue mhmm

this episode would be increased tenfold if we had 100% less sue flashbacks and 100% more chris and darren improvising and making out in an elevator. and 100% less everything else. just chris darren klaine whole episode. perfect

bringing up karofsky’s suicide attempt as a reason why he sucks and wondering which of their partners will die first. yikes

kitty calling jane “other girl” instead of firing out some racist insult. we call that progress <3

#glee #long post #my thoughts #anti brittana #lol brittana #angel watches glee #season 6 #6x04 #episode: the hurt locker p2

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rachellwrites · 4 years

Note

🖊

send in a “🖊“ and I will talk about any one of my OCs at random!

MIGUEL “MIG” RIVAS

oh i will gush about this babie any day of the week, thank you v much!!! he’s 26 years old, a hufflepuff and tyler posey is his fc and he is my lil himbo wfsfvdedf

he first came to mind to me awhile back when at the time i was thinking of putting together an rp group that takes place at a mall, and he essentially was just gonna be this ‘dumb of ass, pure of heart’ kind of a muse that either worked at like a radio shack or in a comic store and even tho the rp never ended up becoming a thing i kept him close to my heart and he’s just been there ever since.

he grew up in texas w his 2 twin siblings and a single mom, their dad just sort of bolted when mig was just around 6 and he grew up p quickly after that, wanting to do all that he can to help his mama out being the man of the house, and the closest thing to a paternal figure his siblings have ever had. bc of this he didn’t end up going to college but he doesn’t regret it for a second, taking any off end job that he could find so that he can still provide for his fam. he’s kind of a floater due to having the majority of his life being revolved around being a caretaker and provider but this he also doesn’t really mind either, he’s just doing his thing and letting the chips fall where they may, despite kind of being at a lose now that his siblings are old enough to care for themselves and his mom’s business now taking off, so he’s just kind of tryna figure things out. personality wise this babie is still a true child at heart, loving kids cartoons, will be the type to ask for a kids menu and a margarita and will also tell you the moon is made out of cheese (smh) he’s not necessarily the brightest but he makes up for it w such a big heart and love for all his friends and family, he adores them all so so much and would give them the absolute world if he could, god knows he absolutely TRIES, he’s everyone’s local hype man and an honorary older brother to all, he just wants everyone to be good and cared for 🥺 he ironically lacks self care despite his instincts to care for everyone else so his meals are usually microwaveable or shaped like dinosaurs. he’s got big stoner energy (he’s also a stoner)kind of just super down for whatever be that lazying around on the couch or going out to do smth spontaneous and uses words like rad and sick and my guy/dude a lot

he has thoughts about his dad who has left them behind when he was just a kid and the twins being too young to even remember him at all; he’s angry that he never got to have a dad of his own and is sometimes terrified of that anger still deeply rooted inside of him. he KNOWS that he wants kids but bc of his dad he’s really scared that he might mess up the same way somehow, he doesn’t want it to turn into a cycle so he’s hesitant when the topic goes to having a family of his own despite it being smth that he wants so so badly, he just wants to do his best by them bc that’s truly all they would deserve.

there’s this verse i have w a friend where he is her son ale’s cousin where after their dad left, ale’s dad stepped in to help out and be the dad for mig and his brother and sister, meaning they all just sort of lumped together as one big fam, gaining a brother (ale) and an older sister (barbie) and honestly i adore it so freakin much, i would die for that big conjoined family folks yes indeed

he is bi af and can crush on ppl fairly quickly, and he’s not v good at being subtle about it in any way, shape, or form, either, he’s just a cute lil puppy, i swear, it’s adorable but also like hello yes put the heart eyes away pls, we are in PUBLIC, on the flip side he is the densest in the WORLD when it comes to someone liking HIM, cannot pick up on hints to save his life and will legit be like “...you mean like as a friend” when/if someone says they love him dcsfvswff he has two ships, one w this lil hippie artist babe named rae (dove cameron fc) and they met at a carnival hitting it off right off the bat and we haven’t done much w them bc busy but goddamn it are they adorable as hell. the other one is w this cute paramedic named gabe (alberto rosende fc) who’s mig’s childhood friend that helped him figure out he was bi but he didn’t realize it until much later and they ran into each other again in their late 20’s and hit it off since and they are so freakin preCIOUS, I SWEAR, they’re kind of end game and thinking about it just makes me so freakin HAPPY

other lil things/ hcs about him: he adopted a doggo named duke and he’s this tiny lil babie who’s also a piece if shit and mig loves him w all his HEART, he’s learning how to pick up guitar and sings a lil bit but doesn’t really do much w it, has a tattoo sleeve and is always wanting more, tyler’s nose ring is canon bc ofc it is hello? he skateboards around to get to where he’s gotta go, tries to practice tricks indoors smh, owns so many freakin hawaiian shirts idk he freaking loves them, it’s like a collection now, also owns a lot of snap backs but are we surprised??? smokes the weed, what he does to unwind when he needs it

all and all he’s just my lil goof ball babie who’s heart is so big and adore him, my friend said it best when to describe him she said “he’s the maternal dad friend w the personality of the youngest sibling” this got super long and even all this i don’t feel freaking summed him up all around but i appreciate you sending this sm thank you omg

#IM HOMESTLY SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS TURNED OUT OMG

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

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July 16: Star Trek 1x06 Mudd’s Women

Mudd’s Women today. I don’t really think fondly of this ep when I’m not watching it, not because it’s not good, but because it’s less focused on the Enterprise, like the really important part of the story is about characters who only appear here, so it doesn’t stand out as much. Also Mudd is really annoying. Also almost every ep of S1 is a Classic so anything that isn’t, like 11/10 seems just “okay” by comparison.

So the Enterprise is just chasing a suspicious vessel because why not. Actually kind of speaks to that theory that esp. the pre-5 year mission purpose of the ship is to be like the Coast Guard, to patrol. I guess they still do that. Hey--that looks suspicious!

“No registration beams.” No license plate lol.

Kirk is so good-hearted. Doesn’t hesitate to put his own ship in potential danger to save some random people he doesn’t know, because of course, he can’t let this situation he exacerbated, as part of his job, become worse. Plus, like, curiosity I’m sure.

Uhura in gold today.

Always get a kick out of anyone on the bridge doing the job of anyone else on the bridge and Kirk just taking Spock’s station gives me Emotions.

Mudd like “I couldn’t be sure you were a friendly vessel, so I ran” like okay, the ship literally says “U.S.S. Enterprise” on it in big letters, it’s not ambiguous.

Early example of McCoy hating transporters.

Literally can’t believe this ship has batteries.

Honestly, they’re not that hot guys, keep it in your pants.

“How many did we get off?” / “Oh, two, maybe three depending on how Spock’s feeling rn.”

McCoy is such a slut omg.

The one in blue is literally just wearing a shirt.

“You’re part Vulcanian.” Honestly, Mudd seems to understand the whole concept of Vulcans better than McCoy does (”This type can turn himself off from any emotion.”).

“I apologize for what he said, Sir.” Oh, Evie, so empathetic. Spock’s not even upset. He’s having a grand time. Can’t wait to see what the Captain will think of the hot ladies! (Answer: he thinks they’re the crew.)

Honestly, I do think Spock was into them a little. It’s pretty ambiguous, Mudd’s comment aside, just how much of a kick he got out of them. He comes very close to smiling a lot, though.

“You’re a hard-nosed one, Captain.” Damn right.

Defense attorney Spock.

Man, I love Sulu.

I’m only noticing it on this rewatch but Spock has a lot of engineering knowledge, I feel? He’s the Science Officer but engineering is honestly the most specific skill set he exercises.

The way Kirk says, “Well, Mr. Spock?” is so flirty. They even give the dramatic, flirty lighting.

Honestly, I can’t believe the Enterprise canonically runs on crystals.

I love the computer. Nurse Chapel’s voice. The squiggly green line. Constantly irritating Mudd. Though also tbh very disturbing from a privacy point of view. I mean in a way it’s not, like, a lie detector, it’s not determining Mudd is lying by anything about him, it’s just comparing his words to public records, but still.

Convicted of driving without a license.

Computer: the male members of the crew are horny.

Kirk: strike the horniness from the record.

I really expected the computer to say “incorrect” when Mudd says, “Heaven’s honest truth.”

That look Kirk shares with Spock though. It’s not super obvious they’re looking at each other, but they are.

Spock with his hands on his hips. Underrated stance, should have had more of that in AOS.

Honestly, this plotline is yet another vehicle for the sort of story Beyond was allegedly interested in telling lol.

“Are you wearing something radioactive?”

This lady in green isn’t very smart but I love McCoy in this scene. His horniness fighting with his realization that uh this is weird?

“Don’t mind me, Captain, I was just lying on your bed for no reason.” “Uh, actually I do mind???”

Kirk is a paragon of virtue though!

I like Evie a lot. She’s the best part of this ep. Really going after Kirk in his vulnerable spot with that talk of loneliness. I do get the impression she legit liked him (as much as she could in uh 2 days) but I don’t think he had much of an interest in her, other than in the same way as everyone else reacting to the hotness drug. And even that he controlled pretty well.

Those original husbands are going to be pissed.

Good Kirk and McCoy scene. “They’re not smart enough to be aliens.” And Kirk doesn’t even pull the “I’m the Captain, answer my question” thing, he’s literally like, “I asked you first.”

I like that McCoy gets that they’re just “acting beautiful.” Actually in retrospect this is probably where Kirk get his placebo idea.

“Ships captains are already married--to their vessels.”

Lol they look exactly the same without the drugs, just with their hair disheveled and their makeup gone.

Love that the pill’s in the form of a sparkly heart.

Spock likes the look of the crystals. That decadent bitch. Idk if people generally thinkk of Vulcans as austere but they are not, like aesthetically--only emotionally. He just likes pretty things, and it’s canon.

Whereas Kirk’s like “I literally don’t give af that we made some crystals less sparkly, we saved some people’s lives.”

Mmmm, I enjoy negotiator!Kirk. Even though he’s in such a bad spot. That poor, sad little face.

Mudd’s earring loooool.

“Expect further difficulty from the miners.”

I love the mining aesthetic/world building/almost 50s sci fi feel.

I love that Kirk just went out into the storm after Eve. Even if he didn’t find her... but then this isn’t their love story, huh.

“I didn’t get any. I should have found a way!”

I’m too tired for real, like, analysis, but I like Evie and Ben.

She’s not even ugly, like........... I know I just have to take it as reality that the Venus drug makes them hot and I’m willing to just suspend disbelief that there’s some quality there that isn’t literal, that can’t be seen, but I cannot suspend disbelief that this very pretty woman is “homely” or “ugly” when she takes off her makeup.

Sub-space radio marriage.

Kirk is so smart with his placebo experiment.

I’m not like a super fan of the ultimate explanation of the Venus drug though--that it gives you “more of what you are.” Too... essentialist and playing into gender stereotypes personally. Like a lot of the Message of this ep I can get behind, but then it takes a few weird missteps that are almost certainly a product of the time in which it was made (like a less extreme version of The Enemy Within). Also, the little like shoehorned “You just gotta believe in yourself!” message was weird. It didn’t really seem to fit with the point.

The really interesting and thoughtful parts of this episode are smushed too much into the end. There’s just a lot going on: what is the nature of marriage, what are the confines of gender roles, what is the purpose of beauty, what are the intersections between gender and class, what are the larger economic realities at play here, how do human emotions like loneliness interplay with class and gender--and man the drug itself!! Is it manipulation? Is it lying? Are the real and/or biggest victims of the drug the women themselves--is it a danger to them? (I’d say yes, and, it appears to be.) And honestly nothing is really resolved?? Even Evie agreeing to stay with Ben apparently because she knows Kirk won’t have her (when they had one conversation and he didn’t really seem that into her anyway) is like... I get it because we always gotta shoehorn hints of romance with the lead because he’s the lead, and we have to bring everything back to the lead because he’s the lead, but I’m not interested in Evie’s thoughts on Kirk. I’m interested in her thoughts on Ben, marriage, partnership, gender roles, love.

I mean “You don’t want wives! This is what you want!” is so !!!!

Basically the ep is fine but it’s so weighted at the end, to a degree that everything that came before seems kinda... slow, in retrospect.

Honestly, Kirk’s even a little flirty with Mudd. (My mom: “The problem’s been solved, Kirk is happy and flirty.” I agree, happy and flirty is his default mode!)

"The fact that my internal arrangement differs from yours, Doctor, pleases me no end."

#the year 2020 #2020: star trek #2020: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

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someone-elses-star · 5 years

Text

The 100 6x09: What You Take With You Personal Narrative

Another two week hiatus that absolutely killed me! Thank goodness for the Beliza pics from the recent con or I would absolutely be drowning! What did you guys think of the sneak peaks we got? I’m excited to see the new dynamic between Octavia and Gabriel! I also want to know if she’s faking not remembering anything or not. Plus, we get so much Bellamy/Jo!Clarke action tonight! I definitely don’t think we’ll get Clarke back this episode, but I’m hoping for 6x10 when the Blake siblings are reunited! :)

Alas, the episode is about to begin, so let’s get started:

It’s coming on! I’m so cool with Eliza introducing all the episodes.

Eliza is such a great actress. She does so well with separating her Josephine voice from her Clarke voice.

Aww... clean and young looking Octavia. Gotta love the glam that the anomaly provides!

Does Octavia really remember nothing? Seems strange....

Gabriel is pissed.....Why does he want to know so much about the anomaly?

Help....? That can’t be good

What’s in the creepy boxxxx

What the hell is Gabriel doing?

He’s going to get her.....high? Ahhh so that’s how she is going to see Bloodreina.

So the anomaly doesn’t heal...but it passes through time possibly....then erases memories? Interesting....

So there could be truth in the time travel theories that have been floating around?

Can we really trust Gabriel, though? I mean....he has been lying about who he is.

Damn....that was quick. Where can I get that stuff? Lol

Nice glowing boxes. Red light. Green light. And she decides to go towards the red? That’s such an Octavia move.

Yes, let’s pick the angry looking box that is obviously going to lead you towards your worst memories.

Marie is such a great actress. What did we do to get such great actors and actresses in this show? Did someone sacrifice a virgin or something?

Echhh.....creepy new Marcus---Marcus Kane II if you will---I do not like it! SO ICKY!

I mean....he’s hot....but....him and Abby possibly being romantic in the future is just a kinda gross concept.

Is anyone else sick of Abby? She has gone way too far.

There love story has never really been healthy in my opinion, but this is too gross and too far.

Ewww don’t kiss! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

Yes, everything is wrong, Marcus. People are not meant to switch fucking bodies!

Yay! Bellamy and Jo!Clarke!

Aww Bellamy can’t stand seeing Clarke in pain in any aspect.

You tell her Bellamy!

“I guess you just care about her more.” Well that is dropping some more truth bombs on Bellamy!

Commercial Break #1 Thoughts: WOW! Josephine dropping the truth bombs on Bellamy! Everyone is calling him out on this! This has got to mean something for Bellarke! IT HAS TO! We usually only get like one of these comments per season about the two of them putting each other first but.....now we’re getting this like twice in two episodes? AMAZING!!! If this is anything like what the rest of the episode is going to be like we are going to be served a MEAL! So thrilled! On the opposite side, Kabby 2.0 is creepy and I’m grossed out. Who’s with me?

Ohhh we’re in a cave! And Josephine is such a fucking priss.

Seriously Josephine is going to get herself killed.

Bellamy is such a boss. Though is he going to get them killed? Doubtful. But his heart is definitely leading over his head.

Oh my gosh. He just said Doubtful after I did! It’s fate!

Can she really hear them now? OMG!!!

What is he going to say?

OMG he was always speaking to her! In the trailer he was speaking to her and not just metaphorically or whatever! WHAT A FUCKING TREAT!

Was it worth it? Probably not.

Eeww....the host had a wife....and still willingly sacrificed his body? Wow these people are brainwashed!

Ohhh what is the truth?! Reveal it Kane! Drop some truths!

Kane is our King! Even if he is in a new body.

Woop there it is! This is the only time where Raven’s condescension this season isn’t bothering me.

INDRA IS BACK!!!!

I forgot Indra and Kane were friends! This is awesome! I missed Indra so much! Is she going to ask about Octavia? Is she?

Commercial Break #2 Thoughts: After the first commercial all of the commercials come so quickly. But we seriously got info that Clarke can hear them! And it seems legit! And Bellamy in the trailer was always just talking to her!!! I love this so much! I’m so happy! But what worries me is the fact that Clarke’s brain---according to the episode sneak peaks we got with Jason and this episode’s writer--has only a few hours left. So....hopefully they get her into the anomaly or something soon? If it will heal her...but if it is just a time anomaly will it actually fix her or just kill her brain sooner because of a time jump? I’m concerned, confused, and cautiously hopeful.

And we are back with Octavia and Gabriel! He better hear his call from his people! We need him to save Clarke!

Octavia versus Bloodreina! FINALLY!

Oh....no....Pike. Interesting.....

We are really getting down to the deepest set of what turned Octavia so dark. Intense

Did anyone else miss Pike’s actor like I did. I mean....I didn’t really care for Pike, but I love the actor who plays him!

Ohh...playing the Bellamy card with her. Ouch.

Of course she hates herself. She was forced to do a lot of shitty things and she did a lot of shitty things on her own. She’s a bit fucked up.

Wow! Pike is really laying into her. Her mind is almost as bad as Clarke’s.

There’s Bloodreina!

Pike is Octavia’s good side of her conscious? Interesting.

Lincoln!!! I don’t want to see this again! Don’t show me his death again! NOOOOOO!!!!!!

Hmmm....but Octavia still protects her mind Pike. Good for her!

You kill Bloodreina, Octavia! I know you can do it!

Damn. That kill shot came quick.

Aww Gabriel is wiping her forehead! That’s sweet!

Commercial Break #3 Thoughts: So....that was intense. But we don’t really know what happened in the anomaly still? Or will it come back to her now that she fought against her demons/Bloodreina? I still think the fight was kind of quick. Even if Octavia has been continuously thinking about getting redemption for awhile now, it still seems like a quick internal battle. I’m sure she will have to fight harder on the outside for redemption with Bellamy and the others, but it wouldn’t have killed us to get a longer fight. However, I will be okay with this shorter fight if it means longer scenes with Bellamy trying to save Clarke.

INDRA!!! Because she loves you.....yes drop those truth bombs girlfriend!

Hmmm....Indra....what are you saying. We need you on our side!

Ohhh.....Raven/Indra/Kane II team! Love it!

YAY Bellamy and Jo!Clarke interaction!

At least she knows that bringing her back was a big mistake sorta.

OHHHH what Clarke/Bellamy truths is she about to drop?!!?

Bellamy’s hope is so cute! I hope it continues and he’s right!

Haha continue to be confident if it pisses her off Bellamy!

Bellamy looks so hurt that Clarke’s body is being hurt.

Uhhh....ohhhh....They know!

Is....Clarke back?

Oh!!! How is this possible! This is such a great fanfic....I mean episode. LMAO!

Commercial Break #4 Thoughts: So....now that she gave control back to Clarke....does that mean that she can take it back or does Clarke have to give it back? I mean....Clarke’s brain is obviously still dying, but will this make it better? Worse? I just can’t believe we just got Clarke back so suddenly! I’m so crazed! I’m so much more hopeful now! Is this going to make me a clown in the end? I don’t know....but I refuse to let go of this hope! Clarke is BACK!

Wait...she is running towards motorcycles...is she playing the part of Josephine or....is she actually Clarke? Yup....actually Clarke.

Ohhhh....So Clarke does have to give back control. So cool.

I’m loving Clarke on the motorcycle! SUPER FUCKING HOT!!!

Clarke and Josephine interaction, and Clarke sassing her! I LOVE IT!

Ohhh....Octavia seeking redemption is hot! And....they just heard the radio calls.

Octavia wants to save her people!

“Things are about to get weird...” Lmao....I love Gabriel! Best line of the night, probs!

Commercial Break #5 Thoughts: So confirmed Clarke is back. We get to see Josephine and Clarke interact with each other outside of her brain. So thrilled that Clarke is back though! SO HAPPY! And Octavia actively seeking redemption, and Gabriel pretty much being cool with it despite him wanting info about the anomaly. That is legit wise-old man vibes! I’m digging it, Gabriel. You’re awesome! I take back not trusting you. If you don’t do something stupid...I’m just going to love you.

Indra is such a badass. We should have brought her back sooner.

Ohhh...are we losing Marcus again so soon? That’s sad....but it makes a good point to this whole show. I really think letting him die would be better for all of this. It proves the point that taking over someone else’s body and living forever is never right. Sometimes people just have to die and stay dead.

Ohhh....she is seeing his old face! I love it! Or are we just seeing it? I don’t care! It’s amazing!

This is the perfect way for us to say goodbye to Marcus! I LOVE IT!

I’ll miss you Marcus! But sometimes dying is for a good cause!

“This is how we get our humanity back.”

I’m crying!!! May we meet again, Marcus Kane. Your fight is over.

So....that episode ended abruptly. But at least we only have one week until next episode!

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crunchyspicysalmon · 5 years

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heres my drunk review of LOVE + FEAR

Handmade Heaven: so when I first heard this song I was already in love like wow.... the song just gives me chills in general and is a very cute song. this song was beautifully produced - ive just overplayed it for myself which is unfortunate for me

Superstar: TBH not sure about this song at first, BUT I ended up eventually loving it a lot actually omg. very good song for radio, technically a great pop song.

Orange Trees: Same as superstar, ended up loving it, but also not my favourite yk?? good to listen to on a nice day while on the streetcar or a train

Baby: fun song tbh!! also not my favourite, but the video was cute. I know this one was an obvious collab. liked that bit of gay/bi rep in the video. also I do like marinas solo version on the LP a little better

Enjoy Your Life: this one is a fun cute song, but also one I think we can all relate to. I actually got chills listening to this song bc of how damn relatable it was and how we all need to think about how were human and make mistakes and thats okay!!! just live your life right??

True: this song just reminds me of Taurus’s now lksdhfklhkhs but like it’s accurate right??

To Be Human: on a serious note, this song I feel is like.... just a lyrical masterpiece like its stuff that needs to be said, and like on a global scale. this song has an energy that everyone can relate to its a very 2019 song

End of the Earth: fucking underrated as hell!! like this song almost brings me to TEARS like I cannot express how much this song means to me like wow!!!! My hair raises when I listen to this song every time without fail and its just so underrated and doesnt deserve it!!! one of the best on the LOVE side imo. im cryin rn listening to it (legit not joking)

Believe in Love: this is one of those songs that I wasn't sure about at first, but actually ended up absolutely loving. this one became one of my faves on FEAR and it also almost brings me to tears. I have a lot of issues with love things and letting people in which may be why I feel emotionally connected to this song lskhdflkhskfl plus good harmonies also get me

Life is Strange: so like this song I kind of.... forgets it exists until it comes on either on the album or shuffle. like this is true, life is truly strange but this also isn't my fave. however I do like how its composed.

You: okay this song goes fucking HARD!!! at first I didnt even think I like it but like I really do like it a lot. i feel I perceive this in a celeb culture kind of way and its true, you dont rly know the person you stan, and sometimes even people you think you know yk?? also just the beat of this song goes hard too in general

Karma: hell YEAH!!! this song SLAPS!! its about women and what they have to deal with in the industry nd how it will no longer be tolerated and I fucking STAN BITCH!! shocked this wasn't a single... but like yo this song deserves hella praise!! its also fun to sing

Emotional Machine: the chorus fucking gets me, yall know harmonies fucking GET ME like wow!!! otherwise this song is aight yk? but still good. something actually young girls need to hear, their emotions are normal and make them strong!!!

Too Afraid: god..... at first I was like... this is chill, but I went through a depressive phase + listened to the lyrics and H E A V I L Y related like damn... this song started to really give me chills like every lyric in this song I relate to and it really kind of captures that feeling of isolation and being trapped in a lifestyle you dont want to live which is EXACTLY how I feel. also the chorus is fun to sing

No More Suckers: this one is just really fun tbh. its also a good message yk, like leave those leeches in the past who needs them!! dont let people take advantage of you!!

Soft to be Strong: I dont know where the fuck to start on this song. this needs to be heard by everyone, especially men. like this is a universally relatable song, and something we arent told like at all really. being vulnerable takes fucking guts and its important to be able to show that sometimes. its better to be kind in the end, as cruel people have a lot of insecurities of their own. it’s easy in todays society to talk shit, we all do it all the time. but we've lost our sense of empathy in a way, and I dont know how to explain this since im drunk, but like as a psych major and empath this hits me in a certain way. another one of those songs that just gives me goosebumps

OVERALL:

okay tbh this is probably the best album Marina has released like EVER in terms of lyrics and technical production. her lyrics mean something, they aren’t just empty gestures and you can tell. she has so much wisdom and awareness of what is going on, and it shows in her lyrics. she has done a lot of collabs on this one, yet is still able to have her style shine through, even when you can tell it is a collab. im super proud of Marina, and actually happy she waited 4 years to release this. I think in terms of a number scale, I’d rate it a solid 9/10 - esp since I haven't been able to stop listening to this album since LOVE came out in early April. I HIGHLY recommend taking a listen and digesting the lyrics bc she has a lot to say and we should be listening!!

#marina #marina and the diamonds #matd #review #album review #drunk review #p #mine #okay look I AM a fan and was one before this came out #but trust.... I would and did tell the truth on how I felt on this album #some songs arent my faves #but this album in general is like her best #and I usually lean towards lyrics on deciding if its good #but she does in general have a good poppy sound!!

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daleisgreat · 4 years

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Lockdown 2009

Greetings all and welcome to my fifth installment of marching through every TNA/Impact Lockdown PPV. Catch up on the previous entries right here! As I watched this PPV it reminded me of where I was with enjoying Impact in this era of April of 2009 when Lockdown emanated from Philly. Even though this was about a third of the way into infamous head booker Vince Russo’s eight year run with TNA, I think I was near the peak of my TNA/Impact fandom. They maintained a solid X-Division lineup and former X-Division stars were becoming mainstays in the World Title picture like Samoa Joe and AJ Styles. TNA was getting a lot of momentum with its Main Event Mafia faction consisting of former ‘Monday Night Wars’ stars like Nash, Sting, Booker T, Scott Steiner and Kurt Angle. TNA’s ‘Knockouts Division’ they established when Impact went two hours in 2007 put WWE’s then ‘Diva-Search era’ to shame and I feel it was the predecessor to the ‘Women’s Evolution’ era in the WWE for the past few years. This came to a halt when Eric Bishoff and Hulk Hogan arrived in TNA by the end of 2009 and within a year Impact went from must-see programming to becoming a chore and largely ignoring it by the end of 2010. There will be more on that to look forward to in future Lockdown entries. Here are some key takeaways I had from the 2009 Lockdown before I breakdown the matches…. -I think this is the final Lockdown with Don West announcing because Tazz at this time in the midst of his no-compete clause after finishing up with WWE after nine years. Don West did an entertaining short run as a heel announcer a couple months prior although he largely played it straight on this PPV. Sure enough, Tazz debuted in TNA a couple months later and West was gone from the announce desk. West was an affable and authentic voice for TNA in these early years for the promotion and while Tazz was always a solid announcer, I could not help but feel the announce desk permanently took a dip with the removal of West. -This was year two or three of TNA leaving the safety nest of the Impact-Zone Arena at Universal Studios for a bigger arena gate on the road. Lockdown was one of just a handful of PPVs that TNA took on the road per year and it paid off with a big-time atmosphere, especially with this 2009 card taking place in a city known for its passionate fan-base in Philly.

-Yearly props again go out to TNA promo-package voiceover guy, Barry Scott for delivering powerful narrations for all the storyline recaps before most matches yet again. His poignant voice makes any rivalry and PPV no matter how weak or strong at that moment seem must-see. WWE or AEW needs to hire this guy!!! -The 2009 DVD has a decent smattering of just over a half hour of extras. Aside from the pre-show match, there is a recap of the TNA Interaction fan fest, post-match interviews with Sting, Kevin Nash, Team 3D and a in-progress-of-being-stitched-up Mick Foley. Sting has some kind reflections after his match, Nash is a riot enjoying a post-match brewski, and they get so up close to the medical staff working on Foley that they have to issue a graphic content warning. A Smashing Pumpkins music video and a photo gallery I once again borrowed a few pics from for this entry round off the decent amount of extras. -TNA head honcho Dixie Carter made one of her first on-screen appearances for the company giving a quick interview to Jeremy Borash in the pre-show thanking the fans for their support. She started to make some PR appearances around this time to help promote the recently released Impact game on PS3 and 360 and I believe this was her TNA on-air programming debut. Regrettably, Dixie would go on to make more regular appearances in the years to come as an on-air authority figure much to the displeasure of viewers.

-I liked the frequent quick backstage interviews with talent before their matches and them combined with the aforementioned Barry Scott recaps served as a nice refresher on the rivalries going into this, and none overstayed their welcomes unlike a lot of modern WWE rivalry recap packages. I think Lauren was probably the fourth or fifth backstage interviewer for TNA at this point, and she did a fine good job with her reactions and adding in a quick take relative to the storyline’s after most of the interviews wrapped which added a nice ‘fan’s perspective’ view on the feuds. -Also worth noting is future TNA president and current top brass of NWA, Billy Corgan made an early TNA appearance in the music video hype package for the PPV, which is also a DVD extra, with him lending TNA Bullet with Butterfly Wings for use. Speaking of Corgan, you guys should really watch NWA Powerrr!! It and NXT are my current top two shows of the overcrowded 2019 wrestling bubble in America. -Before we begin (I know…sorry), I have to touch on the Suicide character making his Lockdown debut. He was a masked wrestler that debuted in the previously touted Impact videogame. The Impact game was ridiculously over-promoted on TV each week, eventually culminating in the videogame character becoming an actual wrestler. As of this writing, six different individuals have donned the Suicide gear for various stints for the character in TNA up until earlier this year when his most recent run ended. Worth noting is Suicide’s trademark fingers-to-the-temple pose. That same pose would coincidentally become the well-known cover art of the far better performing game, Borderlands when that game first released the following year. Naturally, having fans chant ‘Suicide’ and having him face off against opponents named ‘Homicide’ stirred controversy and TNA answered the criticism and would change his name to Manik…..before ultimately changing it back to Suicide due to presumably fan demand/creative resentment? TNA! TNA!

-Last year I noted how Lockdown 2008 had a shockingly low blade-job count with Brother D-Von being the sole wrestler who bled throughout the card. 2009 exponentially upped that number with six wrestlers donning the crimson mask with Abyss, Matt Morgan, Bully Ray, Mick Foley, Sting and Kevin Nash all doing the honors. Unlike WWE today, TNA did not change the mat canvas after a match if a wrestler bled so gradually throughout the night the mat transformed into a blood-soaked mess as you can see by the cell-phone photo I took with an overhead camera shot of the main event near the end of the PPV. -Ok, enough babbling, onto the matches of this 2009 Lockdown! The pre-show match is included as a DVD extra and has Eric Young squaring off against local Philly radio personality, Danny Bonaduce. Danny tries some slimy antagonist antics against fan favorite EY, and even sneaks in a little offense before Young surprised him with a roll-up for the win. Danny tried to avenge his loss by beating down Young afterwards, but Rhino came in for the save and gore’d the smithereens out of Bonaduce! The first official match on the PPV card was the annual X-Title, X-Scape contest. This saw champ, Suicide defending against ‘Black Machismo’ Jay Lethal, Sheik Abdul Bashir (formerly WWE’s Daivari), Kiyoshi and Consequences Creed (a pre-WWE Xavier Woods). I will give Vince Russo credit for accidentally stumbling into a legit thrilling finish for this X-Scape matc! It is probably one of my favorites of them so far. After a lot of trademark X-Division high-flying and a few pinfall eliminations, it came down to Suicide and Bashir to escape in order to win. Kiyoshi tried to climb the top of the cage to prevent Suicide from climbing over, but security intervened and pulled him down while Bashir attempted to sneak through the door during the distraction. Before Bashir could sneak out however, Suicide surveyed the surroundings and did a dive from the top onto the security and Kiyoshi outside the ring for the instant victory! It played out very convincingly and I was popping just as big for it as the crowd! -The second annual queen of the cage bout took place next between Sojourner Bolt, ODB, Daffney and then-Beautiful People intern Madison Rayne. Rayne would become a big player for the Knockouts division so it was interesting seeing her quite early in her TNA run. Unfortunately the Knockouts could not quite gel in this match and after several minutes of unremarkable action ODB hit a powerslam for the victory. The IWGP JR. Tag Titles match faired much better though with Motor City Machine Guns defending against LAX and No Limit. It was a bit on the spot-fest side of things, but a good one at that with the Guns successfully defending after hitting their Made in Detroit signature finish for the pin.

-Abyss and Matt Morgan squared off next in the uniquely titled ‘Doomsday Chamber of Blood’ that saw its stipulation being a wrestler cannot score a fall unto they make their adversary bleed. With that, we saw the use of tacks, glass shards and chairs resulting in the expected bloodbath. This Lockdown also took place while Abyss was a little ways into his ‘escaped mental facility’ version of his character and he referenced in a pre-match interview seeking therapy to stop weapon violence from one ‘Dr. Stevie.’ That Stevie turned out to be a TNA-debuting Stevie Richards fresh off his WWECW run who distracted Abyss by taking away a chair from him that caused Morgan to hit his finish for the win. This match gets the honors of being my annual induction for being a solid lock for the eventual WWE home video release of ‘Top 50 OMG Moments of TNA/Impact.’ -The Knockouts Title was on the line next in a triple threat with Awesome Kong defending against Angelina Love and Taylor Wilde. Unfortunately a freak concussion happened to Angelina Love a couple minutes in after she took a cross-body from Wilde. She looked on auto-pilot while Wilde tried to bide time with a hold, but eventually they got the call to go home and Wilde took a weak kick from a handcuffed Kong for the awkward sudden victory. Hate to see it whenever this happens, but this was still a few years before the concussion controversies gained steam in the NFL and before WWE and TNA banned head chair-shots, so part of me was surprised TNA did the right thing and quickly ended the match when they realized something was not right, so good on them for that.

-Both the TNA Tag Titles and IWGP Tag Titles were simultaneously up for grabs next between Team 3D and Beer Money. The announcers and promo package did a tremendous job hyping up this match for who would be the king of the tag teams and making this match have the vibe of a homecoming for Team 3D due to their ECW roots. All wrestlers left the cage within seconds of starting the match (they would be among many to do so throughout the night) and did a ECW-esque brawl throughout the crowd for old time’s sake! Eventually the action came back inside and saw a few good highspots that got the crowd and me rolling and finishing with Team 3D getting the feel good win after hitting Roode with a 3D through a table. -TNA’s version of War Games, Lethal Lockdown, happened next. It saw AJ Styles, Jeff Jarrett, Christopher Daniels and Samoa Joe team up against Kurt Angle, Scott Steiner, Booker T and Kevin Nash. Seeing how worn down Kurt Angle looked in his farewell match earlier this year it is remarkable how much better he looked ten years prior. He looks about 30 years younger! Highlights of this Lethal Lockdown see Steiner hitting impressive top rope suplexes and Franken-steiners to a big crowd pop and Scotty responded by doing an aggressive flurry of bird flipping motions to the Philly crowd before they could conjure up a ‘You Still Got It’ chant. After Jarrett entered last and the roof of the cage locked down with weapons on top, AJ and Angle quickly ascended on top of the cage roof with a big spot coming from AJ doing a splash through the roof of the cage onto a few Main Event Mafia members to a big reaction. The finish occurred when AJ got the pin on Booker T when Jarrett hit him with a guitar after Jarrett teased turning on AJ. TNA had another former WWE-debut immediately after the match though with Bobby Lashley having an odd motorcycle-themed tron and theme-song package as he posed to the crowd and did…..nothing else of note. This would be the first of two runs for Lashley in TNA where he eventually evolved into a pretty decent act before he went back to WWE last year.

-The main event saw Sting defend his world title against Mick Foley. I recall not being into Foley’s ‘executive shareholder’ authority figure character here where he was squabbling with Sting for calling him out for being inactive and being portrayed as losing his marbles. He continues that characterization by pounding his forehead to bust himself open at the very beginning of the match. Foley looks like he got himself in decent shape in time for this match, but he could not go like he use to by this point in 2009 as this was mostly a kick and punch affair until in a baffling booking decision, Foley attacks a cameraman for being in his way, only moments later to demand that same cameraman to hand him an out of reach barbed-wire bat from outside the ring, to which the cameraman who just got pummeled by Foley quickly acquiesces to. After beating down on Sting with the bat for a while the two engage in a anticlimactic climbing-over-the-cage affair that Foley gets the best of to become the new TNA World champion in an underwhelming headlining bout. The two put on a good effort, and I hate to slight Foley, but he and the odd booking dragged things down a couple notches to the ‘alright’ quality level. -This was a 50/50 night for the eight PPV matches. On one hand we had the off night for the women and the mediocre Doomsday and world title matches, but on the other we had two standout tag title matches, easily the best X-Scape match yet and better-than-usual Lethal Lockdown bout. Overall I would have to say the good outweighs the bad and will give 2009 Lockdown a solid thumbs-up. Join me next time as we enter the first of four Lockdowns that transpired during the not-so-highly-regarded Hogan/Bishoff run! Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Clash of Champions Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes DDP: Positively Living Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 Eric Bishoff: Wrestlings Most Controversial Figure Fight Owens Fight: The Kevin Owens Story For All Mankind Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Hulk Hogans Unreleased Collectors Series Impact Wresting Presents: Best of Hulk Hogan Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story The Kliq Rules Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat NXT: From Secret to Sensation NXT Greatest Matches Vol 1 OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold RoH Supercard of Honor 2010-Present ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Hall: Living on a Razors Edge Sting: Into the Light Straight Outta Dudley-ville: Legacy of the Dudley Boyz Straight to the Top: Money in the Bank Anthology Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder Then Now Forever – The Evolution of WWEs Womens Division TLC 2017 TNA Lockdown 2005-2016 Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe War Games: WCWs Most Notorious Matches Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania 3: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28-Present The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2017

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