#like look why would you limit yourself. theyre all good.

[necromycologist]

is he part of the charter? kept alive by the charter? free magic infected so he can’t use the charter? free magic and charter? charter dead zone? walking charter generator? charter mage? fuck if i know baby hes any of them depending on the fic. goldenhand can die by my blade

[rockstvrdotcom]

✪ // SCARAMOUCHE NSFW HCS

tw/cw: begging, slutification, dom/sub, name calling, semi-public sex, bondage, scaramouche shocks u w his electro... (im going to hell), humiliation, gagging, a lil bit of childe watching you and scaramouche fuck

- unless he's really inlove with you, he only fucks you for his own pleasure. you're both colleagues; your supposed to be his secretary. but when he sees outlined curves when you wear those pencil skirts he loves, he can't help but bend you over his desk and take all his stress out on you.

- scaramouche is definitely a switch, not to his own will of course. but sometimes you'll 'overpower' him (only bc he lets u) and take control.

- although he still grunts and groans; he whimpers. if you're bold enough to push him past his limits and overstimulate him or deny him an orgasm— he's a mess. sobbing tears of pleasure and whimpering like a lost cat. next time you both fuck, he makes sure you won't be able to walk for the next week.

- calls you his bitch. and alot of other things.. like slut, whore, and cunt. nothing gives him more pleasure than seeing you feel humiliated.

- won't hesitate to continue fucking you even if he knows somebody is on the way to his office. still rams into you even when he knows theyre right outside his door. tells them to "get the fuck out and come back later." or asks them "would you like to watch?"— once, childe walked in and scaramouche told him to enjoy the show; and that he did. childe also found you quite attractive, and scaramouche didn't mind at all.

you cried out in pleasure as scaramouche's tip kissed the entrace of your cervix with each thrust. caught in a haze of delight, you almost didn't hear the approaching footsteps. you looked up at scaramouche in panic, tried to get up so you could fix yourself, but he gripped your thighs tightly— still fucking into you.

"let them watch, slut."

- if you're being too loud, he'll rip off your panties and shove them in your mouth; making you choke and gag on the dry fabric.

- puts a remote controlled vibrator inside of you every time you come to work; makes him so hard when your both sitting across eachother in a meeting and he turns the vibrations up— your face suddenly turning a deep shade of pink, your mouth struggling to stay closed.

- there are rare moments where he'll be actually having romantic sex with you, not just fucking you for a quickie. he isn't the romantic type, but after you've guys worked together for along time, he found himself fond of you. he'll be calling you baby, sweetheart, darling, etc.

- shocks you with his electro. yeah i said it guys. if he thinks your being bratty during sex— its his job to tame you. he'll harshly pinch your nipples or clit then send a wave of electricity throughout your body, it feels so good but hurts so bad at the same time. you love it.

- leaves bite marks on your neck and then drags you outside of the office so everyone can see.

- sometimes when you guys fuck, he'll leave the door slightly open and he forces you to be quiet, teasing you about getting caught.

- makes you suck his dick under the desk while talking to a fellow fatui member. you try your best to make him feel as good as possible and get a reaction out of him to humiliate him infront of his colleagues, but it never works.

- obsessed with cumming on your face and thighs. we dont know why, he just is.

- goes craycray when he sees childe hit on you. drags you into his office and fucks you on the floor.

- likes to spank you on the ass.. something about your cheeks being a pretty shade of light pink makes him go feral.

- if you guys are on missions together— such as your both staying in liyue for an assignment; he will fuck you anywhere (well almost anywhere). in the alleyways where nobody ever goes but theres still a chance of getting caught, in hotels, by the lakes, literally anywhere.

- makes you just sit on his cock while he fills out papers and stuff. you love cockwarming him and he knows it.

- obsessed with you riding his thigh. knowing that he can make you cum without putting a single finger on you is almost enough to make him cum in his pants.

hope you enjoyed this one! tips + feedback is appreciated!

[clownmoontoon]

RAAAAHHH HELLO ITS BEEN A MINUTE!!! \OUO/

YOUR FAVORITE CLOWN IS BACK IN BUSINESS ive been quiet a while, a LOTS been going on in my personal life that brought my social medias to a complete (and unfortunate ToT) standstill til now!

i rlly wanna talk about it, its been honestly life changing and for safety i need to add some warnings:

cw for abuse both physical and emotional, and suicidal thoughts/ideation (dw im ok and not suicidal! i used to be and i finally have real context as to why)

ANYWAYS LETS TALK ABOUT IT

i got the opportunity to see a therapist for free for the first time since i was a kid and it was IMMENSELY eye opening.

SOME CONTEXT: ive lived with just my mother since i was a teenager as i tried to "make it" as an artist. ive had my ups and downs w this career goal and have been heavy in the midst of a very big Down period. entirely brought on by how sick i was at the start of the year to june (infected lymph nodes, pneumonia, 2 pounds of tumors in my uterus that required the removal of the organ entirely etc, i may have a weak immune system im realizing sdlkjd) which resulted in me having very little energy to create and/or post content. by july i needed to basically start over. which i was excited to do! i WANTED to get back to work and i was even excited for art fight! ;u;

aaaand in july is when my mom thought would be a good time to threaten to kick me out unless i found money to give her or got a "real" job. this came as an extreme and horrifying shock as i had just asked her the month before to "believe in me just a little longer" as i finally felt i realized what id been doing wrong all these years before and felt strongly i could succeed before the end of the year, she not only emphatically agreed but even said i didnt need such a time limit and she definitely didnt mind supporting me til i reached my dream lol i couldnt even do anything until july bc i was busy recovering from major surgery, coming home with tape on my stomach to heal the incision that hadnt fully closed yet

ive wanted to see a therapist for ages bc im Full O' Trauma and i knew it would help. The way this worked was basically like getting a free trial, i got six days of therapy (to be spread out as far as i liked) thru zoom.

i used the visits more for getting advice on how to reach my goals thru mental blocks and exhaustion bc ultimately i felt like 6 days wasnt enough time to get into trauma stuff and i really just wanted to get my career off the ground again, hopefully permanently.

i had vented a tiny bit about my mom and by the final visit w my therapist i decided to forgo the "how to better reach my goals" questions and ask if she had advice on how to handle someone like my mother, who i had to live with and rely on and who would often say something cruel whenever the mood struck. as i told her about my situation she stops me and asks

"do you hear yourself? bc i hear you"

and im suddenly so scared shes going to tell me the same, "get a real job" "stop acting so selfish" etc

instead she says, "this is abuse, youre literally describing an abusive relationship"

i was in complete shock

i even asked her how could i be the one being abused when i was the one using the resources and she compared it to a person getting married to someone rich and that rich person treating them like theyre worthless for not also making money.

it shook me to my core especially bc my mom loved calling me an abuser and comparing me to her abusive ex husbands (one of which used to abuse her physically, punch her/beat her etc) and saying im just like them

for the record ive never laid a hand on her, she would say these things whenever the mood struck, often out of nowhere

once bc i told her i couldnt read her mind and didnt know what she wanted lol wild

ANYWAY after this conversation i started looking back on my life and realizing why ive always felt so worthless, why i thought until my early 20's that suicide would be the best option for everyone. i was so exhausted from chasing this dream and feeling like such a worthless burden, my mother would get so angry with me for just existing and i felt like she would be so much happier if i were out of the picture, my sisters (both a decade older and living w their own families) calling me a leech and selfish for "using" our mother etc

any time i would stand up for myself, kindly and meekly as i could my mother would tell me how she wanted to punch my mouth, slap my face etc for years i thought she'd eventually fly into such a rage one day that she'd kill me and... i honestly didnt really mind the thought once while in high school my mom picked me up for lunch and offered to pay for a prom dress. i told her that it was ok, i knew she was struggling w money rn and i didnt really wanna go to prom anyway she flew into such a rage she pulled over on the highway just to pull my hair and beat me, and then dropped me back at school to finish my day lol

realizing that all of that IS NOT OK OR A NORMAL WAY TO FEEL OR BE TREATED AND I DEFINITELY DIDNT DESERVE ANY OF THAT was extremely eye opening

i told my best friends what my therapist had said and they were both like YEAH... DID YOU NOT KNOW YOU HAD AN ABUSIVE MOTHER??

apparently it was very obvious ^^; my friends were shocked to find that i thought everything was my fault, my therapist even used the term "gaslighting narcissist" to describe her which was WILDLY VALIDATING for me lmao

sitting w all these thoughts whirling around my head my mom texts me suddenly and tells me to ask my sisters for money (13 hundred dollars lol) bc she needs it for "bills"

i didnt want to do that at all she told me to "use my big words" to convince them and not to say it was her idea, but instead to act like i was asking bc i wanted to

it felt gross and made my skin crawl and honestly didnt even make sense bc WHY would i need that money so i asked but let my sisters know it was my mom asking and said she prob felt embarrassed to ask, while telling my mom that i asked in the way she wanted

my oldest sister makes good money and has helped our mom w money in the past. she texted me back asking why our mom needed money and why 1300 and i told her honestly i didnt know, i asked my mom what to say and she said to tell her she had an itemized list but she left it at work and couldnt remember what was on it lol

my sister told me to tell our mom that she couldnt help rn, so i did and my mom encouraged me to push harder to my other sister

suddenly the sister i had been talking to texts me and says that our mom left her a voicemail saying she doesnt know WHY i would ask for money, must be bc she threatened to kick me out bc i never help her with money :,( which was WILD bc any time i had money my mom would get most if not all of it, i havent been able to save money since ... ever tbqh, even when i tried my mom would successfully guilt every dollar from me letting me know i didnt deserve to save a penny after all shes done for me aaAA

ANYWAY i was so angry and hurt that my mom would just throw me under the bus i told my sister i had proof i wasnt lying (bc she was already inclined to believe our mother since they both considered me a leech to start with) and sent her screenshots of my texts

she was shocked and hurt too i decided to tell her about my therapy and how my therapist had called our mom an abuser and she answered that she understands more than ill ever know... which is very sad hjghfgf

we havent really talked more since and i deleted my texts to the other sister, more likely than not my mom sent her a similar voicemail

im very tired

i want to get out of here, im finally seeing this relationship for what its been for years and years, even back to when i was a little kid! i didnt know about suicide but id dream of being an animal in the wild bc i felt like if i were just out of the picture everyone at home would be less angry

its something that enrages me now tbqh ive tried all my life to be as little of a burden as possible and now im ready to be a problem LMAO :o)

the long and short of it is that i will be posting art sales and opening my patreon FINALLY to try and save up funds to get out of here ive also gotten a part time job on weekends for a little cushion tho some of that money will inevitably go to my mother, unfortunately

she doesnt know about the money i make online :o)

my family has constantly called me selfish, entitled and spoiled for just asking for common decency and to be treated like a person, theyve dehumanized me to the point that my greatest coping mechanism was creating a creature sona that isnt human but a monstrous equivalent lol AND I LOVE THEM IM EMBRACING CREATURE LETS FUCKIN GO

i know this has been long and if youve made it to the end i love u and im so thankful for your support!! ;u;

FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!! i want to come back full force, i havent stopped drawing at all, just havent had the energy to do much til now

my therapist even pointed out that i probably WOULDVE had at least moderate steady success by now if it werent for my mom's constant abuse

OH ALSO I NOW HAVE FOUR CATS LMAO a stray i had been giving water to and keeping safe from weather things (extreme heat, extreme cold etc) had her kittens here! and my mom gave me the ok to keep them all ;u; (and then ofc rescinded that but thats hardly a surprise now lol) and man, having kids cats sure changes your perspective on what u want and feel like you deserve! I NEED TO DO WELL BC THESE KITTIES DEPEND ON ME AND I LOVE THEM QVQ <3<3

SO YEAH IM BACK BABY IM GETTING THE HELL OUTTA HERE ASAP AND CONCENTRATING ON MY WELL BEING AND MENTAL HEALTH!! 😤🔥

[jswatson]

you know about musical tuning right? harmonics? equal temperament? pythagoras shit? of course you do (big big nerd post coming)

(i really dont know if people follow me for anything in particular but im pretty sure its mostly not this)

most of modern western music is built around the 12-EDO (12 equal divisions of the octave, the 12 tone equal temperament), where we divide the octave in 12 exactly equal steps (this means that there are 12 piano keys per octave). we perceive frequency geometrically and not arithmetically, as in that "steps" correspond to multiplying the frequency by a constant amount and not by adding to the frequency

an octave is a doubling of the frequency, so a step in 12-EDO is a factor of a 12th root of 2. idk the exact reason why we use 12-EDO, but two good reasons why 12 is a good number of steps are that

12 is a nice number of notes: not too small, not too big (its also generally a very nice number in mathematics)

the division in 12 steps makes for fairly good approximations of the harmonics

reason 2 is a bit more complex than reason 1. harmonics are a naturally occurring phenomena where a sound makes sound at the multiples of its base frequency. how loud each harmonic (each multiple) is is pretty much half of what defines the timbre of the sound

we also say the first harmonics sound "good" or "consonant" in comparison to that base frequency or first harmonic. this is kinda what pythagoras discovered when he realized "simple" ratios between frequencies make nice sounds

the history of tuning systems has revolved around these harmonics and trying to find a nice system that is as close to them while also avoiding a bunch of other problems that make it "impossible" to have a "perfect tuning". for the last centuries, we have landed on 12 tone equal temperament, which is now the norm in western music

any EDO system will perfectly include the first and second harmonics, but thats not impressive at all. any harmonic that is not a power of 2 is mathematically impossible to match by EDO systems. this means that NONE of the intervals in our music are "perfect" or "true" (except for the octave). theyre only approximations. and 12 steps make for fairly close approximations of the 3rd harmonic (5ths and 4ths), the 5th harmonic (3rds and 6ths) and some more.

for example, the 5th is at a distance of 7 semitones, so its 12-EDO ratio is 2^(7/12) ~= 1.4983, while a perfect 5th would be at 3/2=1.5 (a third harmonic reduced by one octave to get it in the first octave range), so a 12-EDO fifth sounds pretty "good" to us

using only 12-EDO is limiting ourselves. using only EDO is limiting ourselves. go out of your way, challenge yourself and go listen to play and write some music outside of this norm

but lets look at other EDO systems, or n-EDO systems. how can we measure how nicely they approximate the harmonics? the answer is probably that there is no one right way to do it

one way we could do it is by looking at the first k harmonics and measuring how far they are to the closest note in n-EDO. one way to measure this distance for the rth harmonic is this:

adding up this distance for the first k harmonics we get this sequence of measures:

(this desmos graph plots this formula as a function of n for k=20, which seems like a fair amount of harmonics to check)

the smallest this measure, the "best" the n-EDO approximates these k harmonics. we can already see that 12 seems to be a "good" candidate for n since it has that small dip in the graph, while n=8 would be a pretty"bad" one. we can also see that n=7 is a "good" one too. 7-EDO is a relatively commonly used system

now, we might want to penalize bigger values of n, since a keyboard with 1000 notes per octave would be pretty awful to play, so we can multiply this measure by n. playing around with the value k we see that this measure grows in direct proportion to k, so we could divide by k too to keep things "normalized":

plotting again, we get this

we can see some other "good" candidates are 24, 31, 41 and 53, which are all also relatively commonly used systems (i say relatively because they arent nearly as used as 12-EDO by far)

increasing k we notice something pretty interesting

(these are the same plots as before but with k=500 and k=4000)

the graph seems to flatten, and around 0.25 or 1/4. this is kinda to be expected, since this method is, in a very weird way, measuring how far a particular sequence of k values is from the extremes of an interval and taking the average of those distances. turns out that the expected distance that a random value is from the extremes of an interval it is in is 1/4 of the interval's length, so this is not that surprising. still cool tho

this way, we can define a more-or-less normalized measure of the goodness of EDO tuning systems:

(plot of this formula for k=20)

this score s_k(n) will hover around 1 and will give lower scores to the "best" n-EDO systems. we could also use instead 1-s_k(n), which will hover around zero and the best systems will have higher scores

my conclusion: i dont fucking now. this was complete crankery. i was surprised the candidates for n this method finds actually match the reality of EDO systems that are actually used

idk go read a bit about john cage and realize that music is just as subjective as any art should be. go out there and fuck around. "music being a thing to mathematically study to its limits" and "music being a meaningless blob of noise and shit" and everything in between and beyond are perfectly compatible stances. dont be afraid to make bad music cause bad music rules

most importantly, make YOUR music

[sunnythegyarufreak]

✧༺♥༻∞ Hello everyone!! My name is Sunny :D ✧༺♥༻∞

I love gyaru and J-Fashion and since today (June 9th) is my gyaru anniversary I decided today would be the perfect day to make my first post. For this post I will answer some commonly asked questions about gyaru!

Q: Can I be a gyaru if I dont tan?

A: Of course! Certain styles like kurogyaru and manba do have styles that are non tanned such as Shiro gyaru which means "white gal" That just means that you don't tan but you still do makeup from styles such as manba/yamanba!.

Q: Can I be gyaru if I don't wear makeup?

A: This is a very common question in the gyaru community. This is debate is actually one of the many reasons why I distance myself from the community. I believe that gyaru is a lifestyle and mindset. For certain styles you may need to wear makeup. Like manba/kurogyaru/ganguro are makeup based substyles. But other styles like Amekaji and Himegyaru/Himekaji are more based on clothing. For example, my main style is kurogyaru but I don't do the makeup very often because of my mental/physical health. However I wear clothes that I feel are very "kurogyaru" and I live by the mindset of "Be wild Be Sexy" Some older gals however believe that you must wear makeup 24/7. So I think that at some point you should do the makeup at least every once in a while because throughout a lot of eras of gyaru the eye makeup has been pretty crucial to the whole look.

Q: Can I be gyaru if I'm plus size?

A: Yes! I happen to be a plus size gyaru. Gyaru is about recognizing yourself and "getting wild and being sexy," not about being a specific size. The most important thing is to feel content with who you are. This holds true for many styles, not just gyaru! Wear the things you love if whatever you're wearing makes you feel bad about yourself. If it does, throw it out right away!

Q: Can I be gyaru if I'm not asian?

A: Yes! Gyaru is meant for everyone, no matter what race you are.

(Btw this person is @citrusmalicious on tiktok! Go follow them! Theyre super cool and I love their content :D)

Q: Can I be gyaru if I don't do gyaru everyday?

A: This question is very complicated. Like i said gyaru is a lifestyle and mindset. If you can't do the makeup all the time I recommend incorporating gyaru into your daily life! You can do this by: buying deco phone cases, buying animal print bags/items, being positive and keeping positive and fun people around you, decorate items in your room with gems or rhinestones, or wear cute decorated nails :D So I would say that you can be gyaru if you don't do the makeup everyday. BUT if you don't do the makeup everyday be sure to atleast try to incorporate it into your daily life!

Q: Can I be gyaru if I do multiple substyles?

A: Yes! There are so many interesting and fun substyles and you most certainly don't have to stick to one.

Q: Can I be gyaru if I'm over 20?

A: Yes! Any age can be gyaru (however i recommend ages 14 and under to be careful when interacting with the community or doing certain styles) There is no age limit to gyaru and there is even a gyaru on instagram who is 50!!

Q: Can I be gyaru if I have colorful hair/short hair?

A: Of course! Many gyaru have bright and colorful hair and wigs! There are many short haired gals as well! There are gyaru hairstyles just for short hair on pinterest :D

In conclusion anyone can be gyaru! It doesn't matter if you have children, your race, your skin color, your age, or your physical attributes! Thats all the questions I can think of so far! If y'all have any more questions don't be afraid to ask. I'll be sure to answer them as fast as I can :D If you have any ideas for my next blog be sure to send them aswell! I really enjoyed making this and I hope you guys have a good day! Be wild and Be Sexy ✌🏽

[crunchybees]

a journal entry from a distant past

what are my goals? i feel myself in this state of transformation. can i truly live with no life goals? do i have to be working towards something all the time… that sounds exhausting. right now im chilling. getting high. living in the present. that sounds good to me. i think im discounting myself. ive been learning more about tarot and astrology. i want to be immersed in those. i want to learn about what we cant see. i am waiting for the right opportunity for me, but how will i know that opportunity is right if i have no goal in mind? well, first off, i do have a goal in mind - comfortability. secondly, im literally just playing devils advocate with myself. im gonna use my fucking intuition to understand if a decision is right for me or not. fucking duh. what am i talking about. i guess i had to write this out to feel better. why am i worried about having no goals? i guess i had the thought that if i had no goals in life, then my life is pointless. is that true? i dont know. it was just a thought… let me try to philophosize this real quick. if someone has no goals in life… maybe theyre just there to observe. observe the happenings of the world. how can certain lives be pointless and others significant? exactly. every life has the same amount of significance. were all here for a reason. well. i guess we are here to do different things, accomplish different tasks. but are those tasks on a ranking of importance? i want to think not. i dont think i think that. haha. im unsure. okay i just thought a little bit and im pretty sure there is no ranking, that we are of equal importance. yes. unless the universe is unfair or something… and i feel like the only unfair thing is humans. like were fucked up fr. oof this candle has been burning for too long and i have a headache now. well. this process is going to be long and drawn out. i look forward to see how i come out of it. i wonder if this is a collective happening throughout the world, or if its because of my age, or my birthchart, or if its just me. hm. i have to shit ill b back.

is it time to indulge? time to reflect and confront? or time to learn? the answer… do what you feel like doing. if you have any feeling like you dont feel like doing something… dont do it. yeah. simple as that. sometimes i forget, and thats understandable. your mindset is changing. change is not linear. its okay. i love you. i love me. do what you feel like doing. my two options are jack off, or read. mmm i feel like jacking off lol. thats what i mean though… is there a point where indulgence gets to be too much? and then i think, why are you worrying about that? just enjoy your life. stop worrying about whether something is good or bad, because youre thinking too much. using your head too much. not using your body enough. listen to your body more than your mind. when you start to thinking about whether youre getting too indulgent, youre limiting yourself, and your overthinking about things that do. not. matter. it doesnt matter. you do what you feel you should do. not what you think. your thoughts are influenced by your environment. your body is your body. bitch if yo coochie tingling play with it. if you feel like getting high then get high. if u feel like watching tv or doing nothing, then do that. dont feel bad. what the fuck. thats what other people have conditioned you to think. why would you feel bad about doing stuff that makes you feel good. stop that. i love you. who am i talking to? i feel like theres another person in my mind. ive always felt like that… always have conversations with myself. i think thats a good thing. always the devils advocate, seeing different perspectives within myself. i wonder where it comes from. is it me talking to myself? is it just me replacing the person who i would want to tell me these things? maybe. maybe. sun in my twelfth house.. i keep thinking that has something to do with it. sense of self is hidden. maybe me conversing with myself is that sense of self coming out of its hiding spot. im discovering myself, instead of just being a product of my environment. its me. its just me. its just been hidden. yes. hello. we are going to be friends. is it mental illness or a spiritual awakening lol. that was a joke. a meme i saw earlier. well. what a realization. i am curious to see this sense of self more in the future. hm. taking notes on the computer is so much easier because i type much faster than i write, however i am concerned about the digital aspect. im getting a hard drive soon. bye now.

[maschotch]

hello I've been an on-and-off CM enjoyer(?) for a decade, with Hotch being my main area of interest… I just spent literal hours going through your blog lol. tbh it was exactly the kind of CM content I desperately wanted but had trouble finding initially (jfc the sea of x reader I had to wade through) anyway I stopped watching full eps at around S5, but I'm aware of how things go for Hotch and I'm v bitter about the missed opportunities. maybe a popular opinion in the fandom, but I've always hated how the Foyet attack was glossed over for example - my disbelief when I first watched 5x02 and Hotch just... shows up to work?? why'd they bother with such a major injury if its consequences were limited to one (1) episode years later, and even then the mental trauma was 99% ignored. no mention of meds/painkillers/recovery? nothing about "your scars are gonna look just the same"?? BUT that almost pales in comparison to all the other Hotchner things you got me thinking about, like his subtle aversion to fire or autistic traits or other facets of his character/relationships that are soooo tantalizingly hinted at but not expanded upon. I don't know the whole show that well so idk how Hotch fared compared to other characters but it felt like we got crumbs, especially since he was there for 11 goddamn seasons sorry this is so long but I've never talked CM to anyone before and you've made me love Hotch even more as a character, and now I'll have to further stew in my despair over him getting zero closure

i have similar issues with the show and fandom. the show looooves to traumatize its characters and then pretend it didnt even happen the second the arc is over. i understand its the nature of an episodic show like this (and i love that style for this show! i do!) but they could MENTION how hotch has scars (especially in season 10 when theyre all comparing scars on the plane) or how he needs medication (considering thats the only reason why they found foyet in the first place). foyet was the first big arc, so i understand why they needed to get on with it and bring hotch back to work by 5x02, but i wish they’d had an extra episode in between dealing with the team’s emotions about their leader being attacked (the way we kinda see them reeling from haley’s death and the potential of hotch not returning in 5x11 (or whatever the next ep after 100 is)).

no matter who your favorite cm character is, anyone can have the same complaint of them not following through about what undergoing these kind of traumatic events would mean for the characters. it’s definitely a sore point with criminal minds. especially because the only time they do it is when they want a character to leave (like gideon, blake, and kate). it fucking sucks bc there’s so much potential

and that’s where i feel like the fandom lets me down too. there’s not a lot of talk about it—mostly it’s just self inserts and shipping. there’s hardly any good character analysis out there, but that’s why i started this blog in the first place: if it doesn’t exist, make it yourself! (i would encourage you to do the same if you still feel this way. i talk shit ab the fandom all day but i still get so much positivity despite that from people who value the characters just as much but express it differently)

sorry for getting to this ask so late! maybe you’ll come across it eventually. if you do, let me know your other thoughts on the show/fandom! if youve seen more, if youve interacted more, or if you just have more to say!

[just-more-trolls]

dumb fantroll ask meme, odd numbers for wyllow

Ok so this is gonna be Long’un I’m gonna put everything under cut

1.  Biggest pet peeves? How much do they annoy you? Are they bad enough to be a deal breaker if someone you were interested did them?

“okay so..im a very patient person and i understand self-loathing..”

“but i have my limits..im not here for a pity-party please dont lament how much of a pathetic asshole you are expecting me to help you only to ignore any advice i give you and continue to lament your shitty life where nothing good happens ever ok???”

“...ok so that was..a rant...uhm...my pet peeve is when people don’t want to crawl out of the pit they’re in..or downright refuse to..mainly because they like the attention..”

3. What are your turn on’s turn off’s? 

“tha-..thats a little personal hello?????”

“i choose to not answer that!!”

5. What is your least favorite and favorite parts of your body? Any feature you pride yourself on? Then least favorite would you change it if you could? 

“my favorite parts? uhm..my horns i guess? and my hips”

“my least favorite are my eyes because i need glasses to see..id change that if i could i guess”

7. What is your least favorite food and why? 

“i cant stand bitter greens like baby spinach..or kale..its just not what my tastebuds like..”

“and venison makes me legitimately ill..like bad stomach ache levels of sick..”

9. What are any tics you might have? Any nervous habits? 

“under extreme amounts of stress ive been told i get the antlerbeast-in-headlights look complete with freezing..”

“im real bad about picking at the skin on my fingers especially if im real anxious..to the point of bleeding sometimes..but it keeps me from picking on the threads of my clothes until theyre unraveling..”

11. What is your earliest memory? Is it a happy or a sad one. 

“my EARLIEST memory is of finding my ancestors hive..and consequently also finding my ancestors journals on herbology and botany..and its a happy one because its what jumpstarted my own career in it~”

13. If you could have any super power what would it be? 

“i want to command plants!!”

15. What would you do with the ability to see ghosts? Would they scare you or would you be interested in them? 

“id ask them about their life..or help them move on if they dont realize theyre dead..id also keep journals of everything i was told; preservation of history and all that”

17. How good a liar are you? How often do you lie to others. 

“i cant lie for the life of me..like ill withhold the truth but straight up lie?? id die from the guilt.......or by the hands of whomstever i lied to”

19. How far would you go to be perfect? Are you ok with flaws? 

“perfection is an impossibility”

“...that being said uhm..that depends on the..flaw i think..and flaws are subjective..that being said if a flaw is actively harmful to the individual or anyone around them im not as okay..if that makes sense?”

21. How much do you sleep? What is your typical night time routine? 

“a full eight hours~! night time routine is typical: wash up, brush up, jammies on.. i have a cup of tea before bed and i read a little until im done”

23. How good are you with choices? Is it easy to make decisions or do you struggle with them? 

“i...suck at choices if im under pressure to make them.. decisions arent too hard but if there’s weight to them its definitely a lot harder on me..”

25. What is the worst thing you’ve done to someone? Do you regret it? 

“..........theres not a night goes by i dont regret it”

27. How good are you with computers? How much do you use them in every day life? 

“fairly often! i mean im no savant but i know my way around a palmhusk or a tablet”

29. If you knew you had less then a sweep left to live how would you use it? 

“probably by myself.. id quietly wrap up my assets..tend to my garden up until’ my final night before laying myself in the largest patch of flowers and herbs to be consumed by the earth as a way to give back”

31. Which would you prefer you dying before your loved ones, or them dying before you?

“uhm..probably them dying before i would..to spare them the grief”

33. What are your stances on the spectrum? 

“in a social standpoint or a biological standpoint??”

“biologically i lowkey enjoy the diversity..how each group has something unique to them like the lower spectrum of trolls having a higher possibility of psionics..or purples with chucklevoodoos..”

“socially i really wish there wasnt such a divide..and its not like we have a choice in the matter were forced based on our blood color to fall into a certain level of financial and social hierarchy as a form of control and division..”

“honestly if i could give away all my money and not automatically get a refill i would..”

35. If you were empress for a day what would you do? 

“upend the status quo and dismantle the hierarchy..”

“..also give lowbloods a lot of money to live comfortably so they can begin the careers they wanted to do but never had the means to do them”

37. What do you fear loosing most? A possession, your senses, loved one, ect?

“the thing i fear most is losing someones trust in me...to irreparably damage a relationship with no hope of returning...ha..”

39. What is your biggest dream in life and how far would you go to obtain it. 

“i dont know...im pretty content in my life as it is; i have my shop..my garden..my hobbies..i just wish i had someone to share all of this with i guess”

41. Are there any people in your life you miss? What would you do if you could see them again? 

“....apologize..”

43. Do you consider yourself a material troll? If giving up every thing you owned meant eternal happiness would you do it?

“as cluttered and material-filled as my hive is i could give it all up if it meant id find eternal happiness..”

“..that being said i do fear losing everything ive worked on because i..kind of lack a fallback plan..”

[scoobysnax]

check out this neat song. anyways in my 15x18 au destiel goes to ask death whats going on and she’s like “idk assholes maybe god is trying to ruin your lives exactly like he told you he would by killing all your friends and also the whole world.” And theyre like Oh yeah he did say he was gonna do that. Let’s get back home i guess.

and instead of the chase through the bunker they end up regrouping in the kitchen and there is a sad phone call where sam is like “yeah so everyone we know is died it was reallyy sad….” (not pertinent to this scene but jack stops speaking in this episode) and dean is like Oh my fucking god…. theyre all going to die everybody in the world and we can’t stop it… !! and cas guesses that after everyone else in the world disappears it’ll be him next since chuck loves killing him in front of dean so hes like. [in the kitchen] “everyone is gone. i think…i think that means im next.”

and dean says What? no. dont fucking say that now man. cas is like “If it’s already just the four of us on earth… it’ll be me next. it could happen any moment.” Dean says what the fuck cas. why are you talking like that. cas says “because i’m not one of chuck’s main characters. i’m not supposed to be here. i’m here because i choose to be, because i want to be. but i’m always aware that my time with you is limited because it’s not part of the story. he’s tried to kill me before…now i realize he’s used that just to hurt you before. well i won’t let him do it again. not… without telling you the truth.”

dean says Shut up shut up just stop talking. nobody has to die anymore alright? we can figure this out. we can… i don’t know. i don’t fucking know just stop this ok? cas says “When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him. The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, The Empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever.” (dean is on the verge of tears already) he says WHY are you telling me this right now.

CASTIEL: I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it. I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're "daddy's blunt instrument." And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.

dean says don’t you fucking do this to me.

cas says i love you. and when he reaches out to touch dean’s arm dean grabs him too desperately to try to hang onto him or anchor him for once and he feels his coat starting to disintegrate under his fingers and it’s a decade of fear of losing him condensed into ten nine eight seven seconds as he doesn’t know what to do except hold on. Six five four cas says goodbye dean and they are so close together closer than they’ve ever let themselves be and dean just wants to hold him there or put him somewhere safe where not even god can reach him, like somewhere between dean’s heart and lungs, between three and two, except god can reach there too and there’s nowhere left to go and no time left at all …. ! And thennnn before cas can get disappeared by chuck he shoves dean away and the empty comes howling for him from every shadow, and he gets eaten up with a smile on his face, and dean is alone in the kitchen. not even a handprint left behind :/

[intothegenshinworld]

imagine creator reader waking up with like a backpack full of sweets and stuff from their world because they were heading to a friends house and was asked to bring snacks, and when theyre found all that jazz happens so they just,,, chug 3 sodas,,, in front of the archons,,, and just starts fucking vibrating. no explanation, just goes in for a hug and its like hugging a massage chair.

Note: I didn't want to make this ask pages long so I wrote it as if the whole Creator thing had already settled. I also didn't focus too much on the trembling,- I hope this is okay D:

‘Your grace?’ You hear Venti whisper to you. Ei and Zhongli seem too occupied in their own conversation to have seen you chug down soda. ‘Are you sure this is a good plan? I have never seen this substance before.’

Venti is ever so close to you, shoulders glued onto yours and his nose close to the can. You’re convinced he can smell the overly sweet scent from it miles away, yet he keeps his nose right above the opening. ‘It’s just soda, Venti.’ You glance at him once and then lift the can to your mouth. Surely with sweet flowers, there would be some form of soda in Tevyat as well.

Once the last drop of soda enters your mouth you give the empty can to Venti. Just as quick as the last one, you gulp down the next, not noticing the sugar rush has started already. Your body starts shaking but you don’t pay mind to it.

You wonder if giving Venti the chance to drink soda would end up in disaster or not. Either way, you only have limited stuff from your own world so you decide to keep it to yourself.

When Zhongli and Ei turn around, they see the both of you huddled together on the couch. Venti is looking into the soda can, curious about every small detail of your home. Meanwhile, they see you chug down some drink. You’re shaking as well? But it’s nearly summer, did something happen?

‘Venti. What is that?’ Ei ponders, walking closer. She is envious of the carefree archon, who gets to spend time lacking and being with you. ‘And what did you do to get our grace to tremble?’ Zhongli adds annoyed at Venti, as he gazes at you. Besides trembling you seem okay. Perhaps it was because of the thing you are drinking? He had never seen it before and he can’t help but worry.

‘What’s it called again, your Grace?’ Venti keeps his eyes glued to the can and cheekily smiles. You drink the last bit of soda and hand the empty can over to Ei. ‘It’s soda,’ She grabs the can carefully from your shaking hand, Zhongli now also looking over her shoulder. ‘I guess I just feel restless?’ Your leg keeps bouncing up and down. ‘Maybe it’s the sugar,-‘ You shrug it off.

‘Do you perhaps have another ‘soda’ for me as well? I am quite curious about this drink from your home.’ Zhongli tries to be as professional as he can, he is your acolyte, but can't help but feel worried. ‘Venti, do you have the other empty can I gave you?’ You ask Venti, who looks up pouting. ‘Aww, I wanted to keep that one as well,-‘

With some convincing, you get Zhongli one of the cans Venti seemed to keep to himself. You aren’t quite done yet so you open your backpack and grab some of the candy. With all the archons distracted you feel bored. Zhongli is analyzing the smell. Ei seems to trace the words on the can, amazed by your language. And Venti? He is just happy to have something that’s yours.

Maybe you could find Hu Tao and go ghost hunting? We’re in Liyue currently and you knew she was always able to have fun with you! You feel restless and sitting around in some office wasn’t going to bring you much fun anyways.

It was decided. Without a thought about the meeting, which all of you had abandoned, you stood up and collected the empty soda cans from the archons. You open your backpack and toss them in. Anything to keep a souvenir from your own world.

All three stare at you. Why did you take away the soda? Can’t they keep it for a while longer? Are you okay?

‘Are you really alright?’ Venti asks. You’re shaking and while it’s hard to stand up like that, it’s better than to sit down. He normally isn’t one to push those questions but it seems like sugar rush doesn’t happen in Tevyat. ‘It happens more often than you think. You guys just need to invent better candy and soda.’

You first engulf Venti in a hug. He doesn’t waste time wrapping his arms around you. He might have given you a kiss on the cheek which made you giggle, but don’t tell the others, they might get jealous. He is afraid to lose you, but he trusts every word you say. He lets go of you when you release your hold and move on to the next Archon. If you say it’s alright, he will trust you.

Ei is next. She seemed to hesitate a lot about the hugs at first but ever since you returned to Tevyat, she learned to open up to it. She lets you lean your trembling form onto her steady one, arms gently wrapped around your waist. She notices the sweet scent surrounding you, reminding her of desserts. You don’t seem warm, so it's not a fever. You’re alright.

Zhongli is the most patient out of the three. It doesn’t mean that he wants to wait, inside his heartbeat jumps when its finally his turn, but he won’t snatch you for himself yet. The sweet scent around you is the same as the soda. Is it perhaps a perfume as well? He pats your head with one hand, and the other is around your lower back holding you close. You feel so fragile when you shake. He is sure to keep an eye on you for the next hour in case it’s something bad.

The three acolytes all feel blessed at that moment. Your hugs are one of a kind, even if you’re shaking.

It's only after you yell ‘See you later! I’m going to Hu Tao!’ That the three snap back and try to chase after you. After all, it's their task to keep you safe.

BONUS:

Share candy with Venti and he will get even more energetic. He feels like running, flying and his heartbeat seems to jump out of his chest. Will end up falling asleep when he has a sugar crash. (Please don’t eat as much candy around Jean. She will get a heart attack of stress thinking The Creator will die in her office.)

Ei loves sweets. She has some resistance to sugar so she will enjoy the candy you share, but not have as many side effects as anyone else. Every visit to Inazuma will start with Ei bringing all her favourite sweets to share with you. (It’s Yae Miko that has to remind her that a trembling body, even if it’s The Creator,  isn’t normal and that they should cut down the number of sweets Ei gives you.)

If you can get Zhongli to eat candy, it’ll only be in small portions. That stuff is way too sweet for him to consume. He is the most worried about you when you start trembling during sugar intake. (In his head he will curse the soda because it made you tremble, how dare the soda do that to you. They will get to deal with the Wrath of the Rock.)

[violettelueur]

ITADORI YUJI + FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU || TOUCH-STARVED

| featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors but other than that n/a

| form : headcanons

| published : 15 december

| request : can i have a black coffee; yuuji, megumi, and satoru with a fem so thats touch starved and practically bottles her emotions up and always not feeling theyre worth anyone's time due to the household that she grew up in? its perfectly fine to decline this as you please!

| barista’s notes : hi hi guys! barista violettelueur is back after disappearing for some good few hours ʕ*ﾉᴥﾉʔ please forgive me, but i fell asleep the minute i got back from school and woke up at 9pm ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ meaning i slept for a good 5 hours...hahaha oops. BUT i hope whoever requested this enjoys their cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and please come again soon when the cafe opens back up!

ITADORI YUJI:

Being the type not to be physically affectionate towards someone, you were used to bottling up your emotions and were pretty good at hiding them as well.

Itadori knew this but didn’t know the reason - but let it off - and allowed you to take some control of the pace of the relationship. But if needed he would instigate

 the first move and hug and kiss you first - which does leave a warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach that you never really experience due to how you are raised in your family.

However, there will be times where you would feel extremely touch-starved to the point where even if you have to force yourself to hold his pinky finger, that would be enough for you - probably not, don’t lie.

There would be times where you would mentally beg Itadori to make the first move since you knew what he is like - but there are days where his mind chooses to be dense and here you are suffering.

So when the both of you are alone, you would just violently grab the back of his jacket before pulling him towards you to press your face upon his back.

You can’t lie, his scent was really calming you down and slowly the feeling of being touch-starved was wearing off slightly.

Itadori will be extremely surprised by what you have done but would allow himself to stay still since he wanted to relish this feeling of you making the first move for once.

Once he knows you feel comfortable, he would turn around much to your dismay and wrap his arms around you while one hand is used to press your face into his chest - because knowing you, you are probably blushing really bad right now.

However, Itadori is really happy that you are coming out of your shell and allowed yourself to express your love for him in a different way - he probably will have to wait a little longer, but this will do for now

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI:

Now this one is a little more complicated because Fushiguro probably knows about how your household treats you since you and him really confide in each other.

You both really didn’t have the best situations when you came to the topic of families so the fact that you two could somehow relate to it helped you two to trust each other.

Now the other issue - well not an issue - is that both of you weren’t really the type to be affectionate with each other. 

You both knew you loved each other, it’s just physical touch wasn’t your love language - more of quality time and maybe some act of service.

However, Fushguro will try his best and will probably pat your head here and there as well pull your cheek to help your snap out of your thoughts or when you say something really stupid.

You would always try to do something physically affectionate but you always back down since you just don’t know what to do.

BUT that all changed once you one day were feeling really touch starved.

You don’t know why this happened, but you just did...like out of nowhere.

So once you and Fushiguro were both alone - probably in his dorm room or yours - you would randomly bury your face into his chest before shakily wrap your arms around his waist - surprising him completely at your sudden display of affection but he would stay still.

He will probably know that you are blushing and feeling really shy, so he will also envelop you in his arms to tell you that it was okay for him as well.

Since you have literally squished your face into his chest, you wouldn’t see the small smile that he has on his face when he looks down on you.

Man is in love~

GOJO SATORU:

No matter what, this man has no idea what the definition of ‘personal space’ is.

“Personal space? What’s that?”

So whenever and wherever you both, this man will have his hands somewhere on you no matter what - there is literally no escape from it.

It could either be him holding your hand randomly, him placing his head on top of yours (if you are shorter than him), him hugging you in front of his students or him bombarding you with kisses - there was no limit to how much affection he would get you.

And to be honest, it really did help with the physical affection aspect of your relationship since you didn’t really involve yourself in that part.

However, Gojo knew why you were somewhat shy or afraid to be physically affectionate, so he didn’t force you to act affectionate but rather encouraged you and let you go at your own pace.

Sometimes he would open his arms wide and just wait for you to just fall into his embrace allowing him to swing you back and forward.

Although you wouldn’t tell him this, when he does go on missions that makes him leave for days or maybe weeks on end, you really crave his physical attention and become extremely badly touch-starved since you were so used to his affection on a daily basis.

So much to his surprise, when you would run up to him and hug him really tight to the point where he can’t even pry your arms away if he wanted to.

You had basically trapped him as well as stuck yourself on him like glue - but does Gojo care? No~ 

He really is relishing this little physical affection of yours and just stands there savouring the homely warmth that you are giving him.

He is really enjoying this and will probably tease you later~

[cornfarm]

waves against the rocks

saiki kusuo x reader

word count: 2.0k

synopsis: you show saiki your powers. he’s unbearibly jealous, yet for the first time, he feels seen and understood by another person.

cws: mention of the reader having a bad family

genre: melancholic fluff

reader is gender neutral!

===================================================

notes:

greetings... i promise i’m working on cease and desist part 2 but i keep starting one shots;; I ALSO DECIDED TO CHANGE MY TEXT FORMAT... i yoinked all the capital letters away... it feels a bit more liberating

whenever i make my crazy op self insert oc, i always think about how i can make them a foil/double to the characters i like. for example my gintama s/i is also a traumatized war veteran. i thought like... wouldn’t it be fun to write the reader character as a direct foil AND double to saiki? they have everything he doesn’t, but he has a lot that they dont and it’s like,., mutual jealousy.

i also wanted to write saiki properly empathizing with someone. aiura and toritsuka are so fun because they both have different moral compasses with their powers and how they’d like to use them. however despite the fact theyre all psychics, saiki can’t really empathize with either of them.

i wanted to have saiki be excited about something, and feel truly seen. empathy is a very powerful thing.

i hope the “ability” i chose isn’t too cringe;;;

i can’t help but feel like i write saiki ooc so feedback would be super appreciated!

===================================================

perception. the way people are seen by others, the mental images and sour thoughts rooted in nothing but misconception. the falsafied persona of greatness, beauty, and kindness. perception.

you kept saiki afterschool. tugging at his sleeve, you quietly asked “i need to show you something, stay here for a few extra minutes?”. he refused you at first, but you stayed firm, “i need you to stay.” fierce. he decided to stay.

but you stood before saiki, right? were you there? he suddenly felt a bit weary, head pounding at the thought of you. your name, voice, scent, failing to find matches in his library of records. when he thought of you, his brain flickered through the faces and names of everyone else he knew.

you were a gap, a void, a sudden unconjurable memory. it was horrifying. but he quickly accepted it. the body circling behind of him was none of his concern, because there was nobody there. he supposes he should go home now. why was he standing alone in the classroom anyways?

firm hands land on his shoulders, warm, present. he remembers why he’s here.

“it’s not that i’m invisible, it’s just that your brain can’t recognize me, and refuses to acknolwedge me as a thing that exists.”

like a wave crashing against a rocky shore, the void is filled. your voice, your scent, your name, all slotted back into place in his mental library. he recognizes the hands on your shoulders as yours. 

a hand snakes around and pushes up his glasses, covering his eyes.

“it’s not about visibility, it’s perception. you are unable to percieve me as a living thing, or of anything of importance. that’s why you can’t read my thoughts, and that’s why you’re so quick to give up trying to recall me.”

he’s practically trembling- you have one power. it was simple, but it managed to find a loophole around practically all of his.

“that’s terrifying.”

“right?”

you take your hands away and step in front of him. he adjusts his glasses properly.

“were you born with it?”

you nod, “it caused me trouble when i was a kid. i almost got left at an airport,” you chuckle.

“does anyone else know?”

“i’ve tried to tell my parents but they don’t believe me. they called me a liar and delusional, so i decided to stop trying with them. nobody else knows, i’ve never told any of my past friends either. when i found out about your powers, i thought maybe someone would finally understand. that’s the only reason i wanted to tell you.”

your lip quivers, “you believe me, right?”

truth be told, saiki’s stunned. he wasn’t expecting someone like you to have such an abrasive ability. despite how reclusive and fittingly unnoticeable it is, it was certainly powerful.

he’s jealous. you were able to freely aquire something he wanted- privacy, but he does believe you, afterall he just watched you waltz around him, outside of his keen field of view. 

“yeah, i do.”

you smile, bright and wide- you’re nearly trembling. was being believed that big of a deal to you?

you take a step forward and embrace him, wrapping your arms around his torso as your head presses against his chest. he goes a bit stiff, and glances at the door. “hey, someone might walk in-”

“it’s fine.” you look up at him, meeting his eyes, and oh. your eyes are glimmering, shining greater than he’s ever seen them, “they won’t.”

burying your face back into him, he tenataively wraps his arms around your back. you continue, voice muffled, “’m sorry, you’re the first person who’s accepted me. i’m happy.”

the emotional explanation for your actions ease him a bit, “it’s fine.” he states back.

you finally pull away, and for a brief moment as you lose connection, you flicker out of his view, but you come back in again, placing your hand on his.

“actually, i can touch you while using my power without you being affected by them, but i’m manually using it on you right now.”

“if you touch someone while making sure they still can’t see you, what does that make them experience?” his voice is clear, a bit fierce in tone. you always had trouble reading saiki, but you could tell that this was interest. perhaps he was threatened, but he was certainly intrigued.

“they might whirl around and look who’s touching them and account it to a person around them, but if not, they might think they’re having sensory hallucinations. i can also talk to people, but because my voice doesn’t have any weight to it, it’s almost like a hypnotic suggestion.”

“so you can brainwash people?”

“not necessarily,” you let go of his hand, you must have released your power, your eyes are dark, “if i suggest something to someone and it’s something mild, they’re more likely to do it because it already falls into their line of thinking. if i suggest something bold, they might do it thinking it’s an impulsive thought.”

“most people won’t do extreme things, they’ll read those as intrusive thoughts. but sometimes people think my voice is the voice of god, or a passed on relative, and will do intense things regardless of their judgement. others have poor impulse control, and some are just batshit crazy.”

you sheepishly scratch your head, “but i don’t really like having that much control over people. i don’t want to use my powers to hurt anyone.”

“do you want to use them to help people?”

you pause. it seems you’ve thought about this quite a bit.

“well my powers can’t help people. they give me the ability to help people, but they can’t help people directly. i think it’s a matter of it i’m strong enough to help people.”

“are you?”

“would you hate me if i said no? of course i lend a hand to my friends when they need it, but i don’t think i’m strong enough to really make a difference. i want to live peacefully.”

you look down at your hands, “i wish i wasn’t born with it.”

saiki felt unnervingly softhearted. he struggled empathizing with his peers, but his heart pounded in solemn familiarity. “i don’t hate you for that, i’m the same. having the powers i do means i have the responsibility of keeping the world in peace. people would be jealous of me for the self-fulfilling purposes i could use my powers for, but i don’t want to use my powers to hurt people. i don’t want to help anyone either. i just want to be left alone.”

guilt. guilt was a disease, just like jealousy is. it eats at you from the inside, and creeps up at times least expected. it left both of you hollow and empty.

“i wish i didn’t have powers,” he continues, “i don’t think i’ve ever properly experienced life in the way i’m supposed to, like everyone else has. i’m envious of you, you’ve had a bit more normalcy than me.”

“i suppose we’re equally unhappy, then,” you smile at him. he had been staring out the window, but he turns to looks at you. you’re leaning on the door of the classroom, tilting your head, you ask him a silent “walk home with me?”. 

“i mean,” you begin, “i’ve missed out on a lot. i’ve always had trouble making friends- my powers made it difficult for people to remain interested in me. i’ve gotten pretty good at controlling them, pk academy has been really good to me, but it doesn’t heal the damage it’s caused me.”

your teeth gnaw at your lower lip, “your family is so supportive of you, they love you so much, it makes me angry. i wish i could say the same about mine.”

it wasn’t too empty in the school, but your footsteps were loud and clear, both you and saiki walking in sync. saiki didn’t really know what to say, so he stayed silent. 

sighing, you continue, “i don’t want to be alone, but it’s too easy to be reclusive when that’s where you’ve always been. if you live a life of isolation, making friends is scary and draining,” a grim smile forms on your face, as if you’re trying to comfort yourself.

but saiki does have to admit that the two of you have much more in common than he initially thought. he quietly thinks to himself, perhaps he could use your abilities.

“y/n,” he begins, eyes meeting yours, “will you do me a favor?”

“yeah, what is it?”

he doesn’t like being indebted to people, but he wants to test your limits. you don’t give him the chance to ask, “you want me to use my powers while we walk out together, don’t you.”

his mouth falls a bit open, lips parting, “how did you know?”.

you laugh, “you’re not the only one who can read minds,” and reach out to wrap a hand around his forearm. he raises a brow at you, seemingly amused by your comment. he expected you to take his hand again, but your firm grip on his arm was admitedly unexpected.

he felt his heart skip a beat.

“well? are you doing it?”

“yup, you won’t feel any different though.”

walking down the steps together, people passed the two of you, strangers, familiar faces, teachers. nobody noticed.

the two of you passed toritsuka at the steps, but he paid no mind. “you know,” saiki started, “when i use my invisibility power, that guy can still see me.” 

“can he?” you murmur, your voice a bit low. 

“if it’s easier, you can just think what you’d like to say to me, we can talk that way.”

you squint your eyes in concentration, “like this?” you think to yourself. 

“yeah.”

you smile. you continue to hold onto his arm as he changes his shoes. 

“that must be frustrating, that he can still see you.”

he nods. he supposes if toritsuka can’t see you, then aiura probably can’t track you- and him, down either. 

“hold onto my arm while i change mine.”

without breaking contact, he gently wraps his fingers around your wrist. you hastily change your shoes, and slide your hand a bit up, taking his in yours.

“is it neccesary to hold hands?” he asks. his expression was nearly deadpanned, but the slight crease in his brows communicated just enough. he felt sheepish, a bit lost.

“no, but it’s nice.” 

teruhashi stands idly at the exit, waiting, doing her best to gently shake off the boys that surrounded her.

“she’s looking for me.”

“is she? do you want to talk to her?”

“no.”

you pause. 

“is she the reason you asked me to do this for you?”

he nods.

you turn and head towards the gate, but not before waving a hand in front of her face. you take a deep breath, before exclaiming a loud “teruhashi!”. she whirls around, trying to find the source of the voice, looking rather bewildered.

letting out a hearty laugh, you grin up at him. a slight huff of air escapes his upturned lips.

the two of you slip past the front gate.

“but you owe me something in return, i don’t give out my labor for free!”

he sighs, “what would you like?”

“wait, really? i was joking, you don’t have to do anything for me!” you double down on your demands.

“you say that, but i know you’re secretly hoping i’ll treat you.”

“shit, i forgot you can read my mind. that’s so invasive.” you pout, “not fair!”

“it’s fine, i don’t like being indebted to people, and you did do me a favor like i asked, so i’ll take you somewhere.”

you look a bit nervous, “really? you’re sure?”

“just accept the offer before i revoke it.”

you twirl in a circle, letting go of his hand and hopping a few steps ahead of him. “you’re buying me a nice coffee then!” 

he lunges out to take it again.

“sure.”

and once more in sync, both of your hearts skip a beat.

[queerautism]

the whole "ignoring DNIs" thing is dumb as hell. having boundaries doesnt make you untouchable, it cant shield you from criticism and accountability, and certain boundaries cant be completely off limits no matter what.

like holy shit, there is a difference between the completely reasonable boundary that calling people slurs or misgendering them against their will is a scummy thing even if said person is an asshole, and saying that the group that youre regularly attacking and/or invading the spaces of cant ever defend themselves against you, much less be mean about it

which yknow, is most often a result of being beaten down over and over again, being called a horrible person just for your existence, while also having said existence denied at the same time. you cant keep doing that shit to someone and then throw a hissy fit once they snap and throw courtesy out the window. they wouldnt react that way if they didnt have to constantly fight against attacks or sometimes outright misinformation campaigns against them! (btw im using they in the general sense- not specifically rouke or any of its members, but of course it does apply to it. i hope thats ok?)

if you made a DNI that said anti-endos cant interact, we all know that NONE of them would respect that, even if you were to stop interacting with any of them yourself. its lying of the most blatant kind to pretend its about "respecting boundaries" instead of doing everything in their power to silence the voices of the people they hate.

if it was about "respecting boundaries" and "just wanting to keep the communities separate", then they wouldnt be invading every tag or community related to endos and sending hate messages to blogs just for SUPPORTING endogenic systems (even if they arent endo themselves), or co-opting language that was created either for endos or specifically designed to be inclusive of all system types. even among those who *dont* do that (which if theyre a syscourse blog, almost never happens, because of the nature of a syscourse blog), you sure as fuck never see any of them try to intervene or criticise the sysmeds theyre all buddy-buddy with who ARE actively doing that shit, and im willing to bet its just because they agree with it but dont want to get called out on their hypocrisy. like jfc the amnt of times i see them say "we dont support fakeclaiming endos theyre just not systems" even though that like. still very much is constantly happening to everyone who doesnt fit within their limited frame of a "real system", whether theyre talking about an endogenic system or a traumagenic DID system that supports endogenics

if you truly dont support that behavior, then grow a fucking backbone and actually call it out when you see it! if you exclusively save your energy for yelling at endos and endo supporters and making shit up about them, rather than calling out legitimate toxic behavior regardless of the 'side' its coming from- youre a coward who only cares about the propaganda you want to spew, not about actually preventing harm or misinformation. if your asses cant even stop yourself from fucking over DID/OSDD systems (the very same people youre claiming to 'defend') just for disagreeing with you, then why are you even still trying to hide the real endgoal here? i mean we know why, because it doesnt make you look like the "good guys"- i wonder if theres a reason for that.

Yeah yeah yeah agreed on pretty much all counts tbh

[daniyanii]

I POSTED THIS ON MY WATTPAD (melaninanimez) FIRST

Soft Yandere Dabi

You remember the exact day you met him. You were just doing your day to day job as a florist. You loved your little shop with everything you had left, because well....it was all you had left.

Many years ago your shop was actually your fathers. You used to run around smelling the flowers and playing with the petals in your own world while he worked to give you everything he could. Life was good...until it wasn't.

One day while you were playing in the back room, your father was being robbed. He was always a prideful man and would refuse to give up, but that was his downfall. He refused to give the money not because he was greedy, but because he was saving up to give you a real christmas that year.

After he refused the money the robber was fed up. Your little dream world was interrupted by a single gunshot, something heavy dropping to the floor, and rummaging through the cash register.

You heard the bell on the front door ring quickly as whoever committed this crime ran off. You were completely frozen with fear, but you slowly inched yourself out the room. Once you hit the main room you were horrified to see blood spilling down the small steps that lead behind the counter.

"Daddy?" your high voice whispered out

But you got not response, the only sound that filled the room was the spilling of blood and your jagged breaths.

You had to no choice but to walk up the steps since that was the only way to get behind the counter. You always used to run around barefoot so you had to step directly in the warm trailing blood. When you peeked behind the counter it confirmed your worst nightmare.

Your father had been shot dead.

You remember running to his body and screaming. Begging him to move or talk, asking him not to leave you. But after a few minutes of crying and pleading you knew it was over, he was gone.

He wasn't the first parent you had seen dead either. Your mother killed herself by overdosing a year prior. It took you hours to realize she wasn't just sleep. You remember bouncing on her chest laughing, and begging her to get up. But after your poured water on her hand and when she didn't move you knew something was wrong.

You always tried not to think about it but without fail it remained a constant replaying memory. It was like an annoying fly who just wouldn't go away no matter how many windows you open. You took the pain and trauma from both of those situations and pushed it all the way down to your feet. Whenever you thought about it in public you would just put a smile on your face like always and keep moving.

One day a young man came in staring at the ground, refusing to look up at you. Nevertheless, you still smiled and greeted him like all your other customers.

"Do you have any sunflowers?" He mumbled out still looking as far down as he could.

"Of course I do! Let me show you." You spoke with enthusiasm since surprisingly no one ever asked for sunflowers. Plus....they were your dad's favorite.

You stepped down the steps, and lightly grabbed his hand to lead him to the flowers. He seemed to tense at this but didn't pull away.

"Theyre all the way back here since people aren't usually big fans of them." You explained but quickly shut up, feeling like he wasn't one for small talk. You let go of his hand when the sunflowers came in view.

"There they are, beautiful as ever. I'll leave you to it, any other questions you have I'd be glad to answer." Since his head was slightly up now he could see you but you couldn't really see him, you still gave him your warmest smile and began to walk back to the counter.

"Um, can you actually help me pick one? I'm not very good at this." He spoke deeply, he knew that any other day he would have wordlessly walked in and wandered till he found what he needed, grabbed the first one he saw and left. But something about this woman made him have to talk to her. She radiated this warmth that even he couldn't make.

"Of course! It's not like there's anyone else in here." She turned around smiling again

She began asking him simple questions only flower related. She could tell he was a private man due to his lack of responses and she would respect that. After they picked which ones he wanted they traveled back up to the counter. He had subconsciously fully lifted his head up, displaying scorched skin and stitches. He didn't even realize until she spoke again.

"I'm sorry but your eyes are just beautiful." She confessed to him which made his eyes widen

Half of my face is burnt to a crisp but she noticed my eyes first? And complimented me...she must be joking

"I'm sorry again, I didn't mean to upset you and overstep. Here you go, free of charge." She quickly recanted once she saw his face frown

When he went to grab the flowers his hands grazed hers. He expected her to snatch her hand back after feeling the scorched skin, but she gently let go once she was sure the flowers were in his grip.

"It's alright. Thankyou for the flowers and helping me but I must pay you." He reached to his pocket but she pulled his hand out, holding it for a second.

"No need. It's nice to actually have a customer on the weekdays. Consider it a gift!" beaming brightly and the dark man

That damn smile again, why is it so enchanting? Is that her quirk?

"What's your name?" He blurted out before he could stop himself, and subconsciously tightened the hold on her hand

"Y/n L/n. What about you stranger?" Her smile never once faltered and she didn't even think about pulling her hand away

Why isn't she scared of me? Or is she just good at acting?

"Dabi. My name is Dabi." He bluntly responded

"Well Dabi, I hope to see you again. You seem like a good man." Y/n had always been like this, her kindness knew no limits. Anyone else would’ve immediately labeled Dabi dangerous…which he was

"I- Okay." For once Dabi didn't know what to say

After that day he stalked her non stop. It was such a surprise to see that once she was in the "safe" confines of her home how fast her smile dropped. How on most days her eyes would immediately begin to water as she scolded herself about being weak.

It saddened him to see how draining it was for her to act so nice. She wasted her kindness on anyone and everyone, and it took a lot out of her.

He had finally worked the courage up to go back. This time he knew he'd have to have her forever.

"Hey Dabi! Nice to see you again." she exclaimed

She remembers my name?

"Hi Y/n." He spoke lowly trying to avoid eye contact since he knew she was probably disgusting by his burnt skin and stitches

"More sunflowers?" she questioned since most people always got the same flowers

"Um, I guess you could say that." He answered knowing she wouldn't get it, but he knew that whenever he saw sunflowers (or any flower for the most part) he couldn't help but see her smile.

He considered her a flower, more specifically a sunflower.

"Well you know where they are. Need any help picking them out?" She questioned while he just nodded in response

She took a deep breath and walked down the very steps that haunted her. Almost as if she could still feel the warm blood between her toes She refused to show her pain so she did what she always did....smile the pain away.

When they got to the very back where no one could see them, he grabbed her hand. Not forcefully, but he had a good grip on her, scared that she would snatch away.

but she didn't

and in that moment he knew

she was his and his only

"Dabi are you okay?" She asked smile slowly dropped as she saw his nervous face

"Why aren't you scared of me?" He blurted out, needing to know the reason.

Her warm smile came back as she grabbed his hand a little tighter

"Well, you haven't given me a reason to be. You're really nice, and I have no room to judge anyone."

Dabi's heart was beating so fast he could hear it. He no longer could live without her, what was to come next had to be done.

"W-Would you mind taking a walk with me?" He asked nervously, knowing that any normal person would practically scream no

"Of course, the shop is slow today anyways. Come on." She took their hands and intertwined their fingers

Dabi could feel all the blood rushing to his cheeks. He never had a woman, or anyone touch him like this so willingly.

She let Dabi lead and after quite some time she realized he was walking her out of town.

"Dabi where are we going? Town is back that way." She questioned

"I-I'm selfish. I need you, I want you, and so I'll have you. You'll learn to lik-." Dabi was cut off by lips touching his

His heart damn near stopped

He had never been kissed before

He'd never even had a hug

And here she was kissing him first

"Dabi I already like you. I'll go anywhere you want, but what about my shop? It's been in my family for generations." She replied softly

I'm fucking dreaming arent I?

"W-We can arrange t-to have it looked after." He was in such shock he could barely talk

"Okie Dokie. Then lets go!"

"Are you serious? You're not gonna run or scream and call me a monster? You'll just come with me willingly?" He stared at her with udder disbelief, expecting her to kill me

"Will you protect me?" She ignored his questions and dropped her smile to know she was serious

"With my life. You'll never be hurt again." He didn't even hesitate, wrapping arms around her waist, not pulling her in for a hug because he didn't wanna scare her.

"Will you give me your loyalty?"

"There is no one else I could ever feel like this for. Only you." He confessed truthfully

"And you promise not to leave?" She was tired of everything in her life leaving

So what if Dabi wasn't "normal"?

So what if she would never leave his sight?

She finally had someone again, and she didn't wanna have to let go again.

And he wasn't letting her go

So it would all workout

"I will never leave you. And you can't leave me. I-I love you." Dabi couldn't believe he just said that but he really couldn't believe what happened next after that

"Then what are we still here for. I'm ready to go home with you." she said while pulling him in for a deep hug

He just inhaled her scent, she smelled so floral and ethereal.

He couldn't believe she wanted to be with him.

[letswritestories101]

Heya im currently working on a book, it contains an arranged marriage, forbidden relationship and theyre royals.

however, ive no idea what to include in said book, like do i add a political element like a war? whos the villain? does the crown die and suddenly the main character is the king/queen! i just dont know and now im stuck.

any thoughts or advice for me?

Hey, anon! Hello and welcome!

Your story sounds cool, with classic and amazing tropes. A lot of good things can come out of that, for sure.

You seem to be in the brainstorming stage, right at the stage where you're deciding what you want before you start writing the thing itself. So keep in mind that it's okay not to have a very good idea of ​​everything yet.

Here are some tips that might work, IMO:

Think about the theme and/or message. It doesn't have to be something deep. It doesn't need to revolutionize the world or induce a paradigm shift. It doesn't even have to be new. But it has to be something that helps you focus, see the point of your story and what you want to tell. Even the good old 'love conquers all' helps to put a focal point. For example, showing the two royals loving each other despite being a forbidden romance illustrates this well. So the challenges will have to try to break them and not get it permanently, reinforcing the theme. Hence, from these limits now placed, you can think what kinds of challenges would best illustrate. Studying your elements that you want to put in and why you like them will help you find your theme. Adventure and friendship in the face of challenges can hide a theme from the power of friendship, not losing faith that something will work hides a theme about hope. It's about what you want to go through.

Discover the genre of your story. From what you've told me, she has a lot of romance so you can already trace some things like you already did. Ask yourself, is my book all about romance or fantasy or another element also has prominence. For example, if it's a fantasy novel with a romance, the fantasy will also need problems and resolutions. Look up the conventions of the genre and try to work from them. It will help to assemble the previous stitch, inclusive.

Think about what you like. We tell stories about our points of view. Our opinions appear in our art because they are part of us. So, find what you like and put that in the book. Helps a lot.

Go berserker with your inspiration! Make music playlist, moodboard, jot down all ideas including weird sleep deprived ones at 3am! Look for things that remind you of your book and save it!

Search, Search, Search! Know how a plot works, what are character arcs. Writing is a skill, so we have to improve it.

Only share when you are ready. The pressure for validation is high, but showing it to the public ahead of time can ruin your motivation. I've been through that. Give yourself time to think.

And remember, you and only you are the author. Neither I nor anyone else can talk about what you are going to write. The story is yours and that is our greatest blessing and pleasure as authors. We can create worlds and plots as we want and no one else. Enjoy it. And don't worry if someone else will like it. The answer is yes. There is always. Someone already likes. You already like it. And I can tell you from experience, your love for your book will reflect and beautify your stories for others like no other method of outreach could. Nothing shows how amazing a book can be like the faith and love that we writers have for our stories.

I hope my advice can be useful. Writing is a strange but wonderful hobby. You'll do fine :)

Some useful blogs:

@writingwithcolor

@wordsnstuff

@pens-swords-stuffswords-stuff

@hyba

@writing-is-a-martial-art

[theonesthatiworship]

Mate, my friend says that if they get there in time they're gonna put her in a mental hospital, they'll take her phone, clothes, everything. she's gonna have 3 days to prove that she'll never do that again, it'll be terrible! force her to eat...here here's the convo:

You guys told the authorities??

levicorpusbitch a person called the police

They will send them to a mental hospital like they did to me

They do that to everyone who is going to do suicide

levicorpusbitch but i dont want her there

I don’t want her these ether…

levicorpusbitch what if they treat her wrongly- what if theyre gonna throw her in a cell or something!?

Mental hospitals don’t help…

I know… they do that trust me

They tried to give me drugs I don’t need… I know

To get out of there, she needs to stay calm

Act normal

levicorpusbitch WHAT?!

Don’t fight back

levicorpusbitch I DONT WANT THEM TO DO THAT

They will tie you down if you do

levicorpusbitch did..did that happen to you

Three days is the least amount of time they will give her

Yes it did

levicorpusbitch I...im so sorry

the mental hospital is no fucking help

If anything it only made me worse, I get anxious and panicky thinking about being tied down again

It’s alright, I’m out now so

levicorpusbitch oh well thank god

They will take away her phone, cloths, everything

At least this is what they did to me

They will watch her 24/7

They will probably restrain her at one point

They do it all the time…

levicorpusbitch ev- everything?

Yes

Everything

It will go on her record as well

levicorpusbitch what does she have to do?

It will limit her from doing a lot of things for a while

Act normal

levicorpusbitch like?

Don’t yell, try not to cry to much but don’t hold it back ether, she needs to eat

They watch your food intake

To the point where they make you eat

Deny the medicine

levicorpusbitch thats brutal

Say you don’t think you need it at the moment

I know

levicorpusbitch what if she has allergies!?

If she acts hostile they will force her to take medicine

They will take that into consideration

levicorpusbitch oh god- THATS SUPPOSED TO BE A SAFE PLACE

ITS TOTALLY A TORTURE CHAMBER

It is, they don’t care about the people

They just care about keeping the people from hurting themselves or kthers

Others**

They will be dramatic about everything

And some doctors might even lie

Mine did and made my situation worse, saying I would kill people and then myself once I got out

It was a lie

They will give her no rights

They won’t even tell her what they are doing or giving to her or why

Try to be friendly maybe, look normal cause they don’t think you are

It’s hell in there

Adults and kids don’t mix

But I honestly knew what true crazy looked like looking in the eyes of some of the adults

It’s not a good experience… it’s traumatic

levicorpusbitch so they only want you to stay alive, not hurt yourself OR others but they get to hurt you?

Yeah basically…

And you have no say in any of it

levicorpusbitch I dont want her ther

This isn’t the world, when I tell you this was actual enslavement I mean it

levicorpusbitch how can I- or her not go there

Lie about it

Get her to stop now if you can

They drive you insane…

I-

We’ve already called the police. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried talking her down. She isn’t going to stop. I don’t know any other option. What are the alternatives?