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ultralightpoe · 2 years ago

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Midnight Rain - Jamie Tartt

Authors Note: I have been trying to find any sort of energy to post and get out of bed. Got so close to giving up on life itself and I'm barely back, please bare with me as I try to find my way out of my depression hole I have dug for myself everyone. I know it's been a minute but life has been kicking my ass. Be patient with me - Ultralight

Word Count: 4274

Warnings: slight angst

Apart of my MIDNIGHTS EVENT. (Next Event is Sour by Olivia Rodrigo. Requests closed. Event following yet to be decided)

SOUR EVENT

MAIN MASTERLIST

Enjoy!

Rain, he wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight

It was an odd thing, falling for a famous person with everyone watching you both, it felt like every private moment had been laid bare to the world for them to mock and laugh at. There was nothing normal about it.

But then again there was nothing normal about the way you and Jamie Tartt had met.

You thought of this as you left the Richmond Stadium, glasses covering your eyes as you did your best to hide your face from the flashes, your bodyguard holding the small of your back as he pushed you forward.

“Just a few more steps until we are in the car.” He informs, blocking a poster from being shoved into your face.

By the time you are shoved into the air conditioned car you risk a look back at him, and this is the moment all the paparazzi catch a picture of your tear stained face.

You wish this had never happened.

“I just don’t understand.” You whine, eyes cast up to the ceiling of the building, swirling in the chair as your manager tapped her pen on the desk in front of you with an unamused expression. “I didn’t do anyth-”

“YOU WERE CAUGHT MAKING OUT WITH YOUR COSTAR!”

“......And?”

“HE WAS MARRIED!” In your defense he had never mentioned his wife and how the hell were you supposed to know? He never wore a ring, he was always in costume and character so it wasn’t like you had talked about his family at all.

That being said, you felt horrible when you found out, and then your surprised face had been printed onto every magazine and gossip site known to man, which made you look like the homewrecker and him like the lost puppy husband. What a scuffing tool.

“So what on earth does this have to do with Jamie Tartt?” You had never heard of him before, not that you were a football fan in general, but you did kind of recognize him from some cheap reality show.

“He is looking for a change in image, a happy healthy family image.” Your manager explains.

“So you want me to be his pretty little wife?” You snark, lifting your voice until you're whispering like a 50’s pinup girl and batting your eyelashes at her. “Should I make him dinner every night and kiss him sweetly-”

“How many job offers have you gotten lately?” She snaps, slamming your gossip mags on the desk in front of her.

She had you there, since he had played victim you had close to no job offers, your image had been destroyed by that pompous man.

So it seemed Jamie Tartt was your only option. You would play the role of your sweet girl.

My town was a wasteland

Full of cages, full of fences

Pageant queens and big pretenders

But for some, it was paradise

Your face was printed everywhere by the next morning and Jamie Tartt couldn’t help but try and throw as many of the magazines and papers away during his early morning jog with Roy.

“The fuck are you doing?” Kent snaps, crossing his arms, his back straight and his eyebrows pinched.

“I don’t fuckin’ know mate!” Jamie snaps, face bunched up as he panics, the stack of papers in his hands heavier than he thought when he makes eye contact with your photo. You looked so sad he felt his heart shatter. “I jus’ don’ want any of these fucks seein her like this, ya know?”

“Everyone has phones.” His running partner points out and Jamie sighs of disbelief. “Come on, you massive twat.”

With that Roy starts running again and Jamie is forced to drop the magazines in the trash, picking up his speed to catch up with his coach, heart racing against his ribs.

After this he would call you, maybe try to clear the air. After everything you both went through he was sure you would at least want to talk to him……right?

“So…..I just go to the restaurant…..for the date you set up for me?” Jamie asks, confusion laced in his tone as he stares at his ex girlfriend and now his social media manager. “I just don’t get it Keeley.”

“It’s not something you get, ya?” She smiles, rubbing his shoulders. “Just trust me Jamie, I think she will be good for ya.”

“And she’s interested in me?” There was a small excitement in his chest now, the feeling of being adored always enough to boost his ego. “Then I think I can give this a chance, ya?”

So he did give you a chance, he showed up (late) wearing simple workout gear and asking the host about your reservation. She gives him a disgusted up and down look before side-eying him as she points to a table in the far back.

You were there, your nose in a book, and not caring about anyone else in the restaurant. And he instantly knows he should have dressed up more, he figured you would be some fangirl and would like him as he is. But now he sees that he looks like a massive twat who showed up late and not dressed up at all.

“Y/n?” He asks slowly, reaching a hand up to fix his hair subconsciously. Nerves were getting the best of him and when you finally looked up he could not think straight, let alone breathe. It’s like life stopped short. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah? Jamie Tartt I presume?” You ask and he can do nothing but nod. “Why don’t you sit, the paps are going to be here in no time.”

“Paps?” He asks, lunging to sit in front of you, fixing his hair once more.

“They follow everywhere. I haven’t ordered yet, even though you were late.”

“Right. Yeah. Thank you for waitin’.”

My boy was a montage

A slow-motion, love potion

Jumping off things in the ocean

I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

He had been one of the sweetest fake dates you’d ever had in your career, and for a couple minutes you wondered if it was a real date, only to laugh it off as a camera flash caught him in the middle of a dramatic retelling. You had to remind yourself that night that it was fake. It was all fake.

But the kiss you gave him outside the restaurant felt more real than anything else you had felt before, and when you had pulled away your hands were shaking. But he simply smiled and kissed your cheek before disappearing.

You had exchanged numbers that night, so you wouldn’t have to go through your managers everytime you needed to meet. And that had worked well for the first 2 weeks.

He had gone from making you laugh at coffee to texting you at 3 am. And though you had a red flag in your mind about the professional boundary you ignored it because why not? If you were forced to fake date someone then why not have fun?

But now you sat in your empty apartment, legs pulled into your chest as you sobbed, wondering why on earth you had crossed the professional boundary.

Your phone rang somewhere behind you and a part of you wanted to dive to answer it, already knowing it would be him. But you drew the line in the sand, why run to the water to drown yourself now?

So instead you pulled your throw blanket over yourself and let the world wash away.

“Is there a reason you called me this early?” You laugh, pulling your coat closer around you as you meet him at the side entrance of the Richmond field. “And when will the paps get here?”

“They won’t be.” He looks proud to say that, excitement crossing his face as he reaches for your hand. “I figured you had enough of them so I’ll sneak ya in.”

His hand finds your own and you are filled with the same warmth of the night you kissed him so you follow him without questions. And he seems ten times happier to lead you to the main field.

“Okay so there are sooo many rules about being on the field, it’s a bit of bad luck yeah? So don’t tell anyone you were here.” He rambles as you look around before pulling out a ball from his backpack.

“Oh, what on earth is that?”

“It’s a football?” He laughs, throwing it at you which makes you scream and hit it. It bounces off his forehead with a thud that has you gasping.

“Oh my goodness I am so sorry about th-” But he merely laughs.

“I said a football not a handball!”

“You mean a volleyball.”

“A what?”

“Why am I here?” You interrupt, leaning to touch his forehead where the ball hit.

“I was hoping I can teach ya to play.” He blushes when he says it and for a second you are not Y/n L/n international actress, you are Y/n L/n, dumbass in a soccer field.

So you spend the night running around the field with Jamie as he teaches you tips and tricks of the game, you are sweating and laughing.

Then he slips and falls harshly and you are a goner, holding your stomach as you fall over him, cackling.

“You’re a traitor!” He laughs, catching you before you hit the grass and leaning to tickle you. This ends up being a small wrestling match and by the time it’s over you are both laying in the grass, your head on his chest and staring up at the sky.

“This was fun.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I am really thankful I picked the call up.” You giggle, looking up to him and before you know it you are leaning up to kiss him. And just as the first time you are left breathless and shaking. Then he smiles at you and there is a red flag once more. But you don’t listen.

“You wanna come back to my place?”

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight

“I just don’t understand, yeah?” He rants, walking back and forth in the coaches office as all five of the men stare at him with odd expressions. “Like I woulda understood if she just told me it was a public stunt-”

“Ah, I see your dilemma here young pup-” Ted starts, only to be interrupted by Beard and Higgins howling while Roy and Trent both stay silent. “It seems to me like you had some deep feelings for this girl….like, oo oh come on fellas help me out here-”

“Love is dead.” Roy supplies.

“Beats me.” Trent shrugs.

“I’m blanking-” Beard panics.

“LUKE AND LEIA!” Higgins rushes only for beard and Ted to turn on him slowly.

“You ever seen those movies, Higgins?” Ted asks slowly, and everyone in the room stops.

“No….No sir.But I know they kiss.” He smiles and Ted nods. “Watch em and then get back to me.”

“Will do, sir.”

“Will you blokes help me?!” Jamie snaps and they all turn back to him. “She won’t even pick up her fucking phone.”

“Well……” Roy grunts and everyone sits up.

“Oh boy, Roy is about to open up. Buckle in.” Ted giggles.

“I think if you truly love the lass then you should be Jamie about it and go do what Jamie does.”

“And what does Jamie do?!”

Weeks and weeks of this, dates at restaurants and secret dates away from the paps that relentlessly followed you, and then he would spend the night with you in your apartment. Which was never a requirement but gee what a bonus because you managed to take his breath away with every kiss.

One tug and his soul is gone, one bite and he is swearing himself to you.

But his favorite moments between the two of you were when he was laying in your bed, the sunlight streaming through your curtains as you kissed your way up his back to wake him up. In this room you never had that actress pretense you swore by, in this room you were just Y/n. Queen of his heart.

“I think it’s time to wake up.” You whisper, nipping at his ear as he smiles.

“Or we can just sleep in…..” He offers.

“You have a huge game today, and I have my first session on my new film.”

“A new film?”

“Yeah! I’m playing the love interest, a bit weird when I have to kiss someone dressed as an alien but who am-”

“So you’ll be kissing someone then?”

“Well acting…. Just like the sex scene is acting and this relationship is-” You are cut off by the sound of his phone ringing but something in his ears screeches.

It came like a postcard

Picture perfect, shiny family

Holiday, peppermint candy

But for him it's every day

You were right back where you started, swirling in your manager's chair as she glared at you, only this time you felt like there was a gaping hole in your chest that you couldn’t seem to fill. This entire idea had been a mistake.

“You are right back where you started, but with ANOTHER SCANDAL!” Your manager shouts, slamming the pen onto the table and reaching to grab the tabloids laid to the side. You didn’t bother to look since you already knew what would be plastered all over them.

You were now not only known as the woman who cheated on Jamie fucking Tartt but you were the reason the team lost their game. You were bad luck.

A whore. A homewrecker. A lame actress. A waste of space……. But those were just the things that Jamie had said. The public had many many more things to say about it all.

Your heart stung at the thought of him, trying your best to erase the image of him as tears sprung in your eyes, picking up your stuff as fast as you can before you storm out.

You didn’t need to be told what a fuck up this was, you already knew it.

“So… the other day, when we were lying in bed?” Jamie starts, leaning against the wall of the coffee shop as he stares into your eyes, letting you play with the zipper of his jacket. Your back was pressed to the wall as he covered you from the paps, all that could be seen was your legs and at this moment you couldn’t be more happy.

You, as much as you hate to admit it, loved hanging out with Jamie when it wasn’t a performance.

“You mean when you forgot your underwear in a rush to leave?” You tease, enjoying the nervous look that crosses his face.

“Well, you said something that just…. It made me nervous, yeah?”

“What made you nerv-”

“JAMIE!” A voice calls, breaking you both out of the small trance that had built up between you, both of you taking a step back from each other. You keep a hand on his chest, his own flies up to keep it there as he smiles at the man who interrupted you both. “DANNY ROJAS!”

“Oy, keep it down, Mate!” Jamie laughs, pulling you to the man dancing. “Danny this is Y/n, Y/n this is Danny.”

“Wonderful to meet you-”

“You coming to the game?” Danny asks, face filled with excitement. For a moment you want to say no, there was no need for a public appearance at his game, but then you look to see the hopeful expression on Jamie’s face and you feel yourself smiling.

“If handsome is okay with me going?” You ask, eyes not leaving Jamie. He gets excited, rushing forward to kiss your cheek.

“I’ll save you a seat!”

So I peered through a window

A deep portal, time travel

All the love we unravel

And the life I gave away

Jamie found himself running the next morning, thinking about what fucking Kent had said. “Jamie Tartt would fuck it all up of course.”

Fuck it up? Roy Kent is saying he would fuck it up? That wanker didn’t know anything at all, and Jamie would never fuck it up.

But then he finds himself at your doorway, sweaty and nervous as he tries to figure out how the hell he got here. Fuck fuck fuck.

Just as he goes to dash off the door swings open, revealing your tear streaked face staring right at him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I have no fucking clue.” He blurts, hands flying up like you are about to swing at him. But you don’t, you merely stare at him as he stares back with a heavy heart. “But I am here…..and I’d love to talk.”

You were thrilled, looking around the stadium with wide eyes as everyone cheered for Jamie. You had seen this man in his element many times, you knew he loved the game but you had never seen him in his element surrounded by his fans.

This was one heck of a thrill.

He was cheering with them, and yelling, and honestly just owning the field (or Pitch as the coach had explained). You could do nothing but watch in amazement as the two females beside you cheered them on as well.

But that’s when things started to go sideways.

You had just been cheering Jamie on, jumping up in your seat when he made the goal, when you saw your old co-star from the corner of your eye. The pompous asshole that forgot to mention he was married. Within a second of making eye contact he was nodding his head, moving closer to you, mumbling out excuse me’s to book it to you.

For an instant you think of telling him to piss off, but for some reason you didn’t want the group of people you were sat with to realize that you were a homewrecker, whether you meant to or not that's embarrassing. So you let the panic get the better of you and dash to meet him halfway, tugging on his jacket to drag him up the stairs.

“What the fuck are you doing-” You start to ask, anger coursing through your veins but when you whirl to glare at him his hands are on your jaw pulling you in for a swift kiss as cameras click in the background.

In a moment of panic you gasp out, only to swing your hand quickly so slap his face harshly. The sound rings out in the hallway followed by multiple ‘oohs’ as you twist to walk away quickly.

But the damage had been done already, and twitter was on the jump already.

'Cause he was sunshine

I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed

Like midnight

You watch him in amazement for a moment, eyebrows raised while you tried to process the words he just said. He stares back for a moment, tilting his head while he waits for your response, but you can’t think of a single thing to say.

“I think we already said enough,” You start, wrapping your arms around yourself while he shuffles uncomfortably.

“No, Y/n let’s just-”

“Jamie, just drop it. We both already said what we had to.” You mumble, attempting to close the door before his foot catches in it and he huffs in pain.

“Just….. Five minutes, that’s all I need.”

“.......Fine,” You sigh, opening the door and letting him in.

“Um- what the actual fuck?!” Jamie snaps, coming around the corner his phone glued in his hand as he glared at you. “You mind tellin me why the fuck you were lockin’ lips with that wanker?!”

“Wait, it’s not what it looks like-” You start, but he is too mad, sneering at you when you try to reach for him.

“So you weren’t actin’ like a whore with a man while I was playing my game?!”

“Excuse me?” The feeling of panic vanishes, replaced by another wave of anger as his words settle in. “Coming from the dumbass that was in Love Island?”

“It was Love Conquers All, I’ll have ya know!” He scoffs.

“Not to mention I don’t owe you anything! THIS IS A PR STUNT!” You shout, not caring at the amount of paps that were beginning to swarm.

“A pr stunt?” He asks, face falling as he looks at you. “You mean to tell me that you have been dating me for-”

“Pr. Yes. This entire thing has been PR. Did you not know that?” That laugh that slips from your lips is bitter, eyes welling up with tears. Dear god, did no one tell him?

“Right, so this entire time I have been used by a lame ass actress? You been using my fame to get roles? Is that it?”

“More like I have been using you to clean up my image after….”

“RIGHT! Sleeping with a married man-”

“He didn’t tell me he was married!”

“YOU COULD HAVE SEARCHED IT UP! BUT YOU HAD TO BE A HOMEWRECKER!”

“YOU ARE A NATIONAL SOCCER SLUT!”

“IT’S FOOTBALL!”

Rain, he wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed

Like midnight

You watch him shuffle across your living room, jumping up and down on the balls of his feet as he tried to talk himself up, breathing out slowly as he turns to face you.

“I have never been good with this whole….feelin’ thing. But then I met you and for a moment I thought I had it, you know? I thought I was gonna get the life with the girl that loved me because everytime I was near ya my heart started cracking through my fuckin’ ribcage.” He begins, rubbing the back of his neck. “Then you are tellin’ me that it was all fake-”

“It wasn’t all fake.” You whisper and he sucks in a breath.

“It wasn’t?”

“No, I wouldn’t have slept with you if it was.” You scoff, rolling your eyes.

“I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Me too.”

“I….. I want it to be real.” He admits, taking a step closer. “I know it was all fake……now I do. But I want this.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re the wind beneath my fucking wings!” He smiles, moving until his hands are on your shoulders. “You make my heart race and you are the only one on this earth that doesn’t seem to mind my massive fuck ups. I fall in front of ya so many times a day, and you’ve seen me flex in a circus mirror and get frustrated and you have seen me-”

“I get it.” You smile.

“Please, Y/n, just give me a chance back. Let’s make this real.”

“But it might not-”

“We can make it work! If you can learn football then we can make this work.”

You stare at him, and he stares back. For a moment he thinks you are going to say no, and he begins backing up until you nod.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “Okay.”

I guess sometimes we all get

Just what we wanted, just what we wanted

And he never thinks of me

Except when I'm on TV

From that point on there was a stark difference between the actress you and the real you. Actress you kissed handsome men on screen and ended up in a tabloid once a week, accusing you of vile things.

Real you, well real you ate gummy worms in bed with your charming husband that loved hearing all the rumors, reading through them and acting them out like a fake fight. You went to all his games, he showed up to all of your premieres.

Sunshine and rain mixed into a storm of chaos that both of you loved.

I guess sometimes we all get

Some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted

And I never think of him

Except on midnights like this (midnights like this)

“Are ye ready yet?” He calls, laying on the couch as he watched the screen before him, laughing a bit when he sees Nate the Great slip on camera.

“No, I am not!” You snap, rushing into the living room in a panic, searching around. He picks his head up to watch you, laughing a little when you trip over the rug. “What are you lookin’ for?”

“My heels!”

“You are wearin heels to a concert you’ll be jumpin around at?”

“They complete the outfit.” You sigh, watching a smile break across his face.

“No, lovey, your gorgeous tits complete the outfit!”

“OH YOU PIG-” He laughs as you move to throw something at him, dashing to chase you back. You scream out, dashing up the steps to avoid his clutch as he chases you around the house.

The next morning you both wake up to the headlines “Football star and movie star late for T Swift concert!”

“Is this all they have time for?” He asks, yawning a bit as you laugh.

“Apparently.”

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whence-the-woody · 3 months ago

Text

Lots more thoughts

Main takeaway is how much i fucking love Haymitch. I already did but so much more now. He's so funny, kind, smart, cocky, sarcastic, loving, rebellious and firey. He is a pure rebel through and through. He does an illegal job, hates the rich and the peacekeepers, dates someone whose family doesnt approve, hates bullies, he IS a rascal but far from harmless. He was down immediately to fuck shit up and just kept getting up and trying again. I adore him all the more, and Im more heartbroken for everything he lost.

So yes, alot of it was fanservice. Generally Im not mad about that in any media. The only times I was a little iffy was - 1, Snow talking so much about Lucy Gray to a random tribute kid and 2, the way plutarch apparently knows the future when talking about the rebellion. Those were a little on the nose for me and unrealistic. Haymitchs curiosity about Lucy Gray veered on far fetched at times but I can believe it because of his attachment to the Covy. My god LG is the DEFINITION of haunting the narrative and I love that for her

The propoganda message was so out there and on the nose. Partly its because we're hearing from a more aware character (Katniss bless her only noticed things after it was waved in her face 100 times). The other thing I think is SC just knowing that media literacy is dead and after so many years, she still has a message to get accross so this time she was just like LOOK. HERE. ITS ALL LIES. PROPOGANDA. TRUST NOTHING. NO ROOM FOR INTERPRETATION.

What that does do tho is make us question every single story Katniss ever told us about the games and the victors, which is wild. We shouldve known that already - so maybe SC was right to be so obvious about it

For me, in every single book, the games drag at least a little bit. This one was really interesting because some things happened so fast I got whiplash - Lulu, Ampert, the failed plot - then the part with Maysilee felt just a bit too long. Tho even her death felt quick idk. I adored him accepting her as a sister. The whole theme of siblings throughout was again a bit on the nose but so so important to the series.

I have to admit there were so many characters and I listened to the audiobook over 2 days so by the time we got back to Wellie I could not remember who she was. REGARDLESS her starvation and death her fucking brutal my god. Every death in the games was, I feel like Suzanne has gotten more comfortable over time calling them what they are.

The last few chapters were more what I thought the whole thing was going to be - a story we already knew but devastating nonetheless. There were of course details that made it all the worse - seeing the house burn, Ma and Sid holding each other, Birdie singing at the funeral, getting a reunion with Lenore Dove. All so so cruel and heartbreaking even though we knew what was going to happen the whole time

I love how Suzanne subverted expectation and showed us that the stories we're told are lies. There was so much more going on that we didnt know.

Also big love for her dumping so much lore in the first few chapters. Again, I can almost hear her being like FINE here have it already! then we can get to the important stuff and you can stop asking questions we already know the answers to

The early cameos made so much sense to me. The later ones initially surprised me but thinking about it they absolutely make sense too (of course other victors would be their mentors, of course beetee was a rebel all along). The only one that is still a stretch is effie. Dont get me wrong, love it, so glad to see her. But yeah that was fanservice with not a whole lot of logic. I was hoping for Tigress too ngl.

Overall its just left me with such an interesting feeling because so much of it we already knew and so much has been completely changed by learning more. Haymitch was such a fighter and it was taken from him. Mags always had such heart. Wiress was so smart. Beetee always so valuable he could get away with murder.

Ive been saying for years that the rebellion did not start and end with Katniss and Im so glad this book highlights that. It started before her parents were even together, it has always been slowly building. Beetee was already making plans and fucking with their systems. Haymitch set a spark, the rage was already there, all the pieces slowly came together. She was lucky and at the right time and had the right people and had so much fucking compassion that she became the centre of it but it was always coming. Haymitch promised 25 years before he would stop the reaping.

Finally, the epilogue. Oh my fucking god. I really thought we wouldnt get any Katniss or Peeta content. Or anything from the original timeline. It took my breath away to hear him call them his family. I was so proud that he finally shared his story, that they helped him keep his loved ones alive. But, as the hunger games always does, we're reminded that there are survivors but no victors. Haymitch spent his whole life imagining Lenore Dove with him. He self medicated to a point of no recovery. His belly will always be scarred. But he has his kids and his geece and his freedom. I sobbed through the epilogue and I really hope we see it on screen, it will ruin me.

#thg #sunrise on the reaping

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antisocialelf · 3 days ago

Note

Returning the favour, Helen or Gerry for the ask game thingy?

I'm so sorry, I couldn't pick between them and I accidentally ended up rambling so much.

How I feel about this character:

I absolutely adore Helen. The Distortion in general fascinates me, but Helen has a very different energy and dynamic with Jon than Michael. How can I not love a murderous corridor who just wants to cheerfully lie to you and convince you to be the worst version of yourself?

Gerry is just constantly eating my brain. His backstory is just fucked on multiple levels and things would have been a lot easier for him if he'd just been Mary 2.0, but somehow he manages to be one of the least morally compromised characters in the entire show. And also he's fucking hilarious I am so sad that MAG 111 is the only time we got to see him interacting with Jon.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

I am a big fan of Melanie/Helen and I am kind of sad it isn't a more popular ship. They're almost the reverse version of each other, if that makes sense? Helen ended up being taken over by something non-human after Jon failed to notice the Distortion's influence in time, and after briefly resisting (if we assume she was telling Jon the truth that one time) comes to absolutely revel in her monstrosity. The Distortion never seems exactly happy at being bound to any human form, but it seems to enjoy being Helen a lot more than it enjoyed being Michael as she's just a more suitable host.

Meanwhile Melanie would make a suitable Slaughter avatar, but before she can make a choice about this Jon intervenes and forcibly "saves" her from it with traumatic non-consensual surgery. She does eventually realise her anger might not be good for her and makes a conscious effort to become a better person, eventually choosing to reject the power of the Eye as well.

I guess what I'm try to say in an overly rambly way is that those two could inspire so many brainworms in each other and I am absolutely convinced they had some kind of toxic situationship going on while Jon was in his coma which then ended terribly just before Melanie got together with Georgie.

I'm afraid my Gerry answer is kind of boring in comparison - I mainly just ship him with Jon because I think Jon being so protective of this guy he's only met through statements where strangers complain about how creepy and off-putting he is is adorable, and because I think they have fun chemistry once they actually meet in MAG 111.

I have read some Gerry/Michael fics I enjoyed, but the problem is Michael Shelley the human man having like thirty seconds of screen time and a couple of vague backstory factoids means that authors have to make a lot of decisions about his personality/motivations/how he even meets Gerry/etc, so I kind of find it hard to say I ship it? I ship Gerry with some Michael iterations from some authors but there's just too much variation there, if that makes sense?

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Helen and Jon. I love how she's nothing but a disorientating bad influence on him, I love that weird arc where she's fujo-ing out in the apocalypse over him and Martin, I could probably write an entire essay on her last words being "you're not better than me".

I'm obsessed with Gertrude being Gerry's reluctant and incompetent surrogate grandma. I would listen to an entire show that's just about their disaster road trip to stop the apocalypse.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I love the fact Helen is a Tory, it just fits so well with her character. We can tell human Helen was very obsessed with superficial signifiers of wealth and status from how she talks about her real estate job. I don't know why people were surprised she was a Tory. And the idea that that fixation on respectability was just a delusion that made her a suitable Spiral avatar later is super interesting to me.

In a similar vein, I always pictured her as middle aged partly because of the above. I was kind of surprised most Helen fanart has her looking in her twenties/thirties?

I'm not sure if this is an unpopular Gerry opinion, but I'm not sure I entirely agree with the interpretation of him as this hero who's intrinsically driven to fight the powers for the good of humanity. If you listen to him talk about his life and how he acts in statements, it's mostly just him reacting to the shitty situations he finds himself in and trying to survive. It's admirable that he's one of the only characters in this show who manages to survive multiple encounters with the powers *and* retain a moral compass and his humanity (at least before the book incident happens), but I don't think he'd have gone out of his way to fight them if he hadn't been born into that world. If TMaP Gerry ends up becoming plot relevant later I am very curious to see what his reaction to The Horrors will be like.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

I'm afraid my answer here is kind of boring and applies to both Helen and Gerry - I kind of just wish they both had more screen time? In particular I think it might have been interesting if book Gerry had gotten to interact more with Jon/interact with characters that aren't Jon in a way we can see. But at the same time it's kind of hard to think of a situation where that would plausibly happen, as he's very clear about just wanting to be released from the book and I don't think he'd co-operate if someone summoned him again.

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oceanblueeyes03 · 3 days ago

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"She is probably hiding that because she’s already getting shitted on for the age difference and knows she will be vilified for baby trapping him even if that’s not the case. For all we know they are married. The constant push/promo from her side to build him up to her celebrity level has been so obvious and makes sense. I’m personally not judging her at all, but many will." - is the "constant push/ promo" in the room with us, Anon? 😂 she has always shared to her stories and entered the comments of her close one's projects - especially from Derry Girls. You out here really trying to claim that being a supportive partner and sharing a story or lking some post is some heavyeight campaign to "build him up as a celebrity?" Sus, Anon, you are sus.

"Why else should she be acting like such a puppy dog following him around to his work commitments so much??" Gee Anon, I don't know... meeting your significant other after weeks of being apart, or being a supportive partner in general automatically equals to "such a puppy dog following him"? tell me you haven't had a healthy, loving relationship without telling me 😂 You are getting more and more sus.

"You can’t deny all the obvious pregnancy signs. And no this is not body shaming, anyone with eyes saw her pics at the Big Boys premiere, especially if you play with the lighting on the pics. That was a beautiful preggo belly." Yess anon, Nicola is such a superhuman that her so called "pregnancy" took off and went full term in, what, 3-7 weeks? it is nowhere to be seen in any of the other events in January of February or later on. Sorry to burst your buble Anon, but you are absolutely body-shaming her 😬

Also, I don't see how someone could flaunt their "obvious pregancy" for months and months to hundreds if not thousands of people, dozens of events and paps, constant work projects that have cast, crew, catering and God knows how many more people around and yet no rumour? No leaks? No gossip columns, and the most rags can do is chomp at articles forecasting that Jake will break her heart 😬

Math ain't mathing Anon, but I warmly encourage you to reevaluate the body shaming you disguise as "obvious pregnancy"🙂 (unrelated - I also had extra weight during a time in my life that went straight to upper abdomen and I really looked as if I were pregnant without it being the case. So yes, you are absolutely body-shaming and it's not just me trying to argue you out - you can still believe what you choose to, argument it if you want, but maybe try not to use the ol' "I'm not body-shaming, but.." as " proof" for your argument)

I don’t think there is a baby

Agree with you anon except for the leak of gossip mags. No gossip magazines talks about Luke’s toxic hbs behavior or him constantly calling paps, or copying Nicola and we all see that. Gossip mags are not trust worthy to give us tea.

Jared letos creepy behavior was all over Reddit for over a decade, just now daily mail picked it up. Diddy creepiness was viewed as a conspiracy theory created by crazy people, never did tmz talk about it until now

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strangebiology · 2 years ago

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So, I just read your post on Myths surrounding Traditional publishing, and as an aspiring writer myself, I hope you don't mind me asking a question. How would I go about getting "experience" to have a better chance at getting traditionally published? I've been writing my whole life, but I haven't published anything, apart from some poetry in a state fair when I was a kid. Do I have to just self publish a book first and then try to find an agent?

Hi! (re: Myths about Traditional Publishing)

My writing experience involved getting jobs at Nat Geo, PBS Newshour, Newsweek, and Bay Nature. Got hundreds of articles published. My grad degree in science journalism, for which I am in $70k of debt, may have had something to do with me getting those jobs, or at least the first one.

You do not have to self-publish a book first; there are many types of writing and places to publish them. Most of what I know about is science journalism, and a tad bit of journalism in general. Here is a list of lists of science journalism resources which probably has a few articles on breaking into science journalism.

Regarding other types of writing, there are literary magazines to apply to and publish in. Not everything has to be a book! I don't know which lit mags are good. I know you can find calls for submissions in the Funds For Writers newsletter, but don't be fooled by the name, it mostly lists not-funds, but contests that you have to pay to enter. I imagine a lot of places that make money from the writers and not the readers could be considered scams or just targeted at people who are happy to pay to be included in a compendium. I don't know, what I see seems sketchy from my side of the aisle, as a journalist, where we expect to be paid for our work, but maybe it's just a different philosophy over there.

If you self-publish a book and then try to find an agent for that book, they will most likely not want to represent you. Trad publishers will make offers on books that have been self-published generally only when those books have sold very well already as self-published books, which is extremely rare. Actually, that sounds a bit of an unfair policy to me, as self-published books tend to sell very poorly even if they are good (it's WAY harder and more work for an indie author to sell their own wares than for a big, established company with lots of distribution lines to sell it.) So there may be exceptions if your book is truly amazing.

Self-publishing is a form of practice so it's sort of a good idea IMO. My book is taking me a year+ to write so I could not and would not self-publish a book and just starve for a year, as the advance for a self-published book is $0 and quite a lot of people lose money in the process paying for editing, advanced reader copies, etc. Agents also often don't want to acknowledge previous self-published books when pitching a new book to a trad publisher, unless those self-pubbed books sold well, which...well, see above.

Some writers will write a novel, stick it on their shelf, then write another, then another, then at some point they'll have the one worth publishing. But, you can't gain popularity or win prizes for the writing that sits on your shelf. Fanfiction seems like a good idea, even though it can't be published for money or put in any lit mags, there is a built-in audience there. If you're doing fiction, some fiction communities might have better advice for you--but ask the person giving advice what their success is, if you can. You don't wanna follow in the footsteps of someone who wants something completely different from you.

(PS. Again, I know self-publishing a book is the best deal for some people and there is a tiny minority that sells them very well, and I'm not trying to encourage trad pub, and a discussion of trad publishing isn't a dig at everyone else, I respect you and your craft, in fact if you enjoyed and/or profited from self-pubbing that's amazing...)

#publishing #traditional publishing #books

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paramorearchived · 1 year ago

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April 5, 2011

Transcript:

Like Eli.. I deed it.

Hey everybody today, let's dive into the discussion of sexuality! yeah yeah, i wanna talk about the cosmo cover. it's a little more than a big deal to me. and you know what? i'm really excited about it. to the general public, cosmo magazine is either a) a woman's obsession or b) a woman's demise -- honestly, either of the two options equal out to be the same damn thing! the media clearly has our attention. it's easy to let all the images of all these godlike looking women whisper to us how we think we're supposed to look. it's like "here look at my BOOBS! don't you wish you had these?" "more guys will like you if you do it THIS WAY!" "get this figure" blah blah blah spend all your time, energy, and money on becoming the world's idea of ''sexy"... and you know what? it's never gonna change. as much as i tell myself i don't care and i wear whatever i want... there will always be those moments when i'm at the check out line at target and i see some gorgeous person on the cover of any ol rag... and i'm like "ugh, is that how it's gotta be!?" only to realize that... next month, that girl on the cover is gonna be me.

WHAT A HYPOCRITE RIGHT?!?!

noooo. here's the thing. my #1 goal when the band began was to make myself invisible. not only did i not want to be the focal point, i wanted to be UNSEEN! and honestly, it never made a difference. i've turned down a lot of magazine covers. i specifically remember turning down Blender mag when i turned 19. and you know what? no one ever knew. it never made people focus on me any less. and it never mattered. so this time i'm taking a different approach. all 3 of us in Paramore have our own roles. and finally i will accept mine. i'm going to be okay with being a "powerful female". and if that's what it is... i'm going to use that role to make a difference. here's the plan. here's my course of action. i WILL be myself. i WILL grow up. and i most definitely WILL find the time in my own life to be SEXY if i feel like it. who wrote the rules? who said that a girl that lives in this same tshirt and jeans nearly every day won't wanna wear pumps and a short skirt tomorrow? the heart that's underneath the clothes is still the same. because to me, it's not about using sex as a weapon. it's about how i feel. somedays i straight up feel like wearing sweats. other days, more confident days.. i'm like... DUDE WHO NEEDS CLOTHES!? ok well, i'm not that extreme but hopefully you see my point. if you are a girl, i think you'll understand all of these words just fine. you know those mornings you get out of the shower and you're drying your hair in your underwearsss and you realize you finally don't care that you have that scar on your leg? or that your skin is so pale that sometimes in bad light you can see your veins? ... or when your skin keeps breaking out and you're like "today, i simply do not give a f***!" those are the liberated moments that i try to hold on to. and i'm hoping by seeing my crazy mug on a magazine cover... some girl who's having a not particularly liberated day will think to herself that the MAY cover looks just a little different than the usual cosmo cover and hopefully they can even be inspired. no, i don't think i'm some kind of saving grace that's going to change the magazine world and the lies that we believe in the headlines every day. but i do know that i NEVER ever thought of myself as conventionally beautiful nor sexy. and only just recently did i ever even begin to accept how my looks differ from other people's whom i admire. i'm hoping that the more a magazine will take a chance on a girl like me, the more a girl will have a frickin chance in hell to be UNIQUE, powerful, strong in her weaknesses, confident in her flaws. because that's who i'm trying to become.

sexy is whatever you want it to be. don't let cosmo tell you. don't let vogue tell you. even your boyfriend or your best friends. the point is, it's up to you. i'm gonna make up my own version as i go.

and for the record, i really was hoping one of the headlines would be "69 ways to 69" but i guess it was a no go. honestly, i don't think they could come up with that many. thank you guys once again for being a part of our family. love every one of ya.

hayley

-- once again, i didn't proofread ;////

#paramore #hayley williams #2011 #livejournal

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ecsundance · 1 year ago

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Never Look Away: A Personal Connection to Margaret Moth

Never Look Away, directed by Lucy Lawless is a groundbreaking documentary that explores the colorful and bewildering life of photojournalist Margaret Moth and the impact she had on putting the war on record. I believe that this film is a love letter to photojournalists across the world that depicts the importance of their work. Without these types of artists, because I believe that is what they are, we would not be aware of the countless stories unfolding around the globe and the history that is being documented through every single photo and video. If it were not for them, we would be completely left in the dark and Lucy Lawless does an outstanding job at emphasizing this through her film.

After watching the film, I left the screening with a pretty heavy feeling in my chest. I am a huge fan of character pieces in documentaries, especially when the primary focus is on a larger than life individual with a charisma that makes them irresistible, which is exactly what Margaret Moth embodied. She was such a unique and fearless woman, watching her on the big screen and the way in which those who were involved in her life described her left me feeling so inspired. There is something about people who move throughout life without an ounce of fear or self doubt that makes me so emotional, and I think that has to do with wanting to be just like them so badly. I have always dealt with pretty awful general and social anxiety, which more often than not forces me to get through every day with a sense of fear and uncertainty. Fortunately, this struggle of mine gets easier and easier as I grow older, but it is still a challenge that I am actively trying to overcome. However, these are the types of films that give me that glimmer of hope for the future. People like Maragret Moth who live their life however they please whilst also doing so much good for the world through her work, or individuals like Lucy Lawless who take a chance on a story they deem important and go as far as doing their first directing job because they know the world must know who this icon was. ‘

This has definitely been a much more personal blog compared to my others, but this film touched me in such a beautiful way that I was truly not expecting, which is why Never Look Away has certainly found its place in my top three films I have seen at this year's Sundance thus far. In a film review written by Patrick Gibbs for Slug Mag, he states “It’s simply impossible to watch Never Look Away and not gain a profound respect and love for Margaret Moth, an exemplary spirit who left an indelible mark on the world forever”. This is such a perfect way to describe who Maragret was and even if some viewers found her character to be troubling or controversial, it is impossible to learn her story and the events that she survived without having an insane amount of admiration for her. I definitely recommend people to give this film a chance or to at least look into Maragret Moth’s story because it truly is so inspiring.

References: https://www.slugmag.com/arts/art/interviews-features/lucy-lawless-will-never-look-away-from-a-great-story/

-Manu Delgado

#sundance #sundancefilmfestival #sundance 2024 #indie #indiefilm

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lycanlovingvampyre · 2 years ago

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MAG 191 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: mowing the lawn.

Does anyone understand what Martin is mumbling in his sleep? I've listened to this part so many times now, I feel like I'm at work...

MARTIN: "You were sleeping with your eyes open again." You know who else sleeps with their eyes open? Cats! Jon is a cat, confirmed!

JON: "What was I like at Salesa’s?" MARTIN: "Oh, you’d just completely conk out. Eyes open, obviously, cos god forbid the creepy ever stops entirely, heh, but –" JON: "Thank you." MARTIN: "– you’d just be dead to the world. I actually got a bit worried, once or twice, but you always woke up fine. You said you didn’t dream. Sounded pretty happy about it too." Aww, finally some fluffy fan service again! That "Thank you", so amused, so fond!

MARTIN: "Hey, I meant to ask. Do you recognise that woman, Celia?" Hehe, Martin already reacted to her name last episode^^ Lynne Hammond is her pre-Change name.

UNNAMED: "Names are how they see you; they’re how they find you in the files. You can hide all you want, but if they know your name, they can see you. And take you away." Oh, that sounds like some conspiracy bullshit...

I feel Jon so much, I also can't shut up if I hear someone obviously getting things wrong...

MARTIN: "Do you need to make a statement?" JON: "Actually no. I haven’t since we got down here. I suppose it must be the tunnels. Nice to be a bit more in control, although it does feel… odd." That's so good to hear, Jon enjoying just being Jon.

ARUN: "You don’t believe in them, do you? In their power?" OMG, the way he taunts Martin!!! I really can’t with religious fanatics..

I'm with the tape recorder/Web on this one. I think it was very important to record Martin and Arun fighting xD

JON: "I don’t know. I know how Georgie gets about people in her care. If she thinks helping us will endanger them…" That... is really sad to hear. Those are random people Georgie has known for, what, half a year tops? Georgie and Jon used to date. Even if they got into a bad fight when they parted, there has been affection there once. They seemed like halfway decent friend when Jon lived at her place... And these people are now more important to her than Jon? And later it is actually Melanie suggesting to help them in their cause..

JON: "If, however, we find a way to somehow destroy or, uh, eliminate the powers… I’m not going to be okay. There’s too much of me that’s part of The Eye now. I don’t… know what would be left of me without it. Maybe I just die. Maybe I survive, but I lose… something. My identity. My mind. My… memories. I don’t know." We hear later from Annabelle that Jon would survive this and stay more or less the person he thinks himself to be (whatever that means), and I kind of can see that this works... Right now, the Fears exist, the Eye takes up a big part of Jon, and while the Fears exist in this world, in general even if blocked out - sometimes more, sometimes less - that part becomes hollow and can't keep Jon structurally upright and he threatens to collapse. But if the Fears completely vanish, that void goes with them and the empty space can be filled with Jon again and support is once again given. (Also yeah, the tragedy part, he could have been okay and so forth...)

JON: "Martin, when the time comes, I need you to promise me that you won’t try to stop me." MARTIN: "I promise. I love you, Jon." JON: "I love you too." MARTIN: "But I’m not going to doom the world over it." This is super important! I mean, Jon will bring it up again, when the time comes, but this is the origin of their promises and how each of them will think the other one didn't keep his.

MARTIN: "And you have to promise me you’re going to do everything in your power to live. That you’re not going to sacrifice yourself at the first opportunity, just because you feel guilty about what happened" JON: "… I promise." Both of them don't really believe it will come to it, that's why they promise. Martin is so sure, that there is another way and that he never gets in the situation of having to let Jon go. And Jon thinks, in his infinite knowledge, that there's no way this could possibly end good for him..

GEORGIE: "And it’s not like the tunnels have gotten any safer with them hanging around." Wow... How she emphasises "them"... Another thing to throw on the I-don't-like-Georgie pile...

MELANIE: "It feels crap, you know, just doing nothing." GEORGIE: "We’re surviving. And trying to help others do the same. That’s not nothing." I mean on the scale of "trying to save the world" and "doing nothing" that's pretty far on the "doing nothing" side... And this will be Georgie's suggestion in MAG 199...

MELANIE: "and I’m sick of people acting like I should feel so super-sympathetic towards him, just because he’s had a rough time of it. I’ve had a rough time of it from the second I met him!" You can have had a rough time yourself and still show empathy...? This isn't a competition. I get not liking people, you don't have to like everyone, that's simply not possibly. But a bit of empathy for others also isn't like the hardest thing in the world...

Bit sad that Melanie ended up still hating Jon. I felt like she did have character progression at the end of S4. What happened to "He's welcome as a friend"?

GEORGIE: "Well, we’re not going up the tower, but… yeah. I want my cat back." Finally something we can agree on!

Oh and just last episode I was wondering if the recorders ever clicked on themselves without either Jon or Martin being present? Well, at least after the change I can say they do! xD

@a-mag-a-day

#a-mag-a-day #mag 191 #tma #tma spoilers

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saltymongoose · 3 years ago

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Hihi! Im a bit new here (cough even though I’ve read like everything already cough) and i just wanna say i FUCKING, LOVE your depiction of grunts!!! Ive always felt they were more, animal like? With the paws and growling and purring and aaaa! /pos

But i do have a bit of a question for you!! You you don’t need to answer, and if you don’t want too you can just ignore this entirely! But i wanted your thoughts and opinions on this, do you think grunts have mating cycles? Aka, heats/ruts? Its been on my mind quite a bit, and as someone who doesn’t necessarily write fanfiction, i just wanted an opinion from someone who does on this little thought!!

Anyways!! I love your writing so much <3 and I’m glad you’re getting some more lenient time with uni and everything! Have a good day!!! And remember to drink some water or eat a snack <33

(If its alright, might I go by Pop Anon? :0 Or just Pop for short!)

(TW: A bit suggestive for the subject matter, but this reads more like a biology lesson/explanation than anything.)

Hello, Pop! Welcome to the blog, I'll make sure to add you to my Anon list. :) I'm also really happy you like the way I depict grunts; I've always tended to lean into a more non-human portrayal of them since I really like to explore the differences they'd have with us. (It also made enough sense to me with the paws they have and the purring hcs I'd seen before, etc.) Plus, I'm just a big fan of non-human characters and grunts can fit this really well, being the cross-faced homunculi that they are lol.

I'd also be more than happy to answer your question too. If we were to go even more into how animalistic grunts could be, to put it shortly, yes! I do in fact think that grunts would probably go through mating cycles. Or at least some of them would.

The reason I make this clarification is because of how generations and cloning work. Basically, my hc is that all Gens before G03s (G03LMs) would probably have these cycles, but after G03's, all of the new grunts are clones, which makes it more unlikely.

(Further clarification below with a little weird biology stuff I know fsr, this response got pretty long. 😅 I do include a note where the complicated stuff ends tho, if you don't care for reading it. 👍)

This includes G04s and MAGs, according to the wiki. Given how dystopian the Nexus Core and AAHW are (specifically the AAHW, with how a majority of them are also S3LFless), I think population control might be an element they'd include. Or at least they'd try to get rid of heats/ruts because it makes grunts "unproductive" or some weird corporate nonsense like that. 🙄 So I can see some genetic manipulation going on to sort of "erase" the behavior for the cycles.

Whether the later generations even have the capability of experiencing them depends on how this behavior is altered. Though if we go with genetics, and use the logic of pseudogenes (genes that are not "used" but are still there in the genetic code), then technically one could have a G04 experience a heat cycle/rut by sort of "reawakening" the gene. This could be by grafting a part of from an earlier grunt to them, fiddling more with their genetics, etc.

And even with pseudogenes and "dormant" traits, some clones would still probably exhibit mating cycles as the product of a flawed development cycle. (Called "atavisms" in biology, where ancestral traits occasionally make a reappearance in new lines.) If you want to go really far, all of this biology stuff could probably be applied to fertility as well in later clones (because population control ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), but I digress.

(End of In-Depth Explanation)

As you can tell, I've probably put too much thought into this lol. Basically, what this means is the following grunts would have mating cycles: Phobos (G01), Hank (G02), Deimos (G02), Sanford (G02), and 2BDamned (G02).

With G03LMs, they're stitched together corpse parts so I am undecided (I still need to figure out how that works lmao), but with all gens after 3 it's probably pretty unlikely. But not impossible.

(P.S. Thank you so much for your kind words, Pop, and I hope you have a good day too! <3)

#tw: suggestive (kinda?)#currently drinking water as you instructed #can't wait to see what I get in my inbox after this lmao #pop anon #i ❤️ anons #this was weirdly fun to discuss tho

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mizutori-heiko · 4 years ago

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Mizutori’s bakudeku fanfiction master list [complete works]

Really really good writing by these incredible authors. In no particular order! These are all Top!Bakugou and Bottom!Deku. If A/B/O dynamics then it’s Alpha!Bakugou and Omega!Deku. Yes, I have preferences.

Canon World – until 15k

What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me? by reading_raindrop | 8,303 | Izuku starts calling him Bakugou and it pisses the explosive teen off a lot more than he thought it would.

Oh right, you were a little sh*t by SaysiWrites | 5,653 | When Midoriya Izuku gets hit by an age-reversion Quirk, the last thing anyone expected to find out is that Toddler-Izuku is a little shit. Except for one Bakugou Katsuki, who has seen this phase one too many times already. (Bonus+ the entire Little Sh*t (Kidfic) series)

Do Not Disturb by surveycorpsjean | 10,010 | Apply enough force, and something is bound to break.

And Atlas fell by supercrunch | 15,185 | They move in together, after a while. Katsuki joins Best Jeanist and Izuku trains under Gran Torino. They still take comfort in each other every day, curl up in bed and kiss and talk about how life is going. Their live are tumultuous, after all, what with villains and training and rescuing people every week. It’s nice to have something certain. At the end of a day filled with violence and adrenaline, Izuku knows he can come home to someone concrete. It’s perfect. Being a hero is scary and grueling and uncertain, but this part is just right. And then, one day, a child dies in Izuku’s arms.

be loved by bonnia | 5,403 | The kidnapping incident leaves bakugou traumatised about being touched on the back of his neck, and midoriya decides to take matters into his own hands.

Big Protein by Mysecretfanmoments | 13,683 | Bakugou Katsuki has a thriving hero career, an agent to manage his famous attitude, and absolutely zero romantic interest in anyone. With the exception of his favourite health food joint refusing to expand to his city, his life is pretty damn perfect—so why does a viral video revealing Deku's stash of dirty mags involving him and Deku together turn everything upside-down?

Chocolate cake and resin preserved flowers by Anoksun | 11,396 | Izuku loses his memories. Katsuki struggles not to lose Izuku too.

Twin Stars by theperksofbeinglarissa | 8,435 | When Deku saves a woman's life, her quirk is accidentally activated. Her quirk? She reveals a person's soulmate. A star-shaped mark appears on Midoriya's left arm... and on Bakugou's as well. Kirishima is the only one who knows that Bakugou is Midoriya's soulmate, and Bakugou isn't taking the news very well. Can the twin stars of class 1-A work out their differences and find their happy ending?

Unhealthy Fixations by Thesis | 12,522 | Izuku is an adult who knows better than to crush on his childhood bully. AND YET.

Like the Moon by osakakitty | 14,781 | Katsuki Bakugo is having constant, erotic dreams about Izuku Midoriya. He isn’t sure why, but they won’t go away. In order to make them stop, he needs to figure out what Izuku Midoriya means to him.

Worth a Second Shot by cinnabee | 13,080 | Katsuki and Izuku celebrate registering as a Hero Duo together with a big party. What could go wrong?

Like Something Out of A Shoujo Manga by Merrywetherweather | 2,971 | Deku ends up in a rather interesting quirk accident, one that triggers flag events as if he were the protagonist of an otome game.

Canon World – 15k++

Blood Moon by lalazee | 94,860 | The Thank-Fuck-We-Aren’t-Dead Sex had started then, and had never really stopped. Then came the feelings and the fights. The ego, the pride, the jealousy. And then there was Us.

The Way You Used To Do by edema_ruh | 669,463 | During a battle, Midoriya gets hit by a villain whose quirk detaches his soul from his body. Stuck in a ghost-like state, the boy enters a race against time in order to save himself from permanently dying. Much to his luck - or lack of it -, the only person who can see and talk to him in this state is no one other than Kacchan.

Just Like Breathing by MD_Daydreamer | 35,423 | Izuku got engaged. He didn't mind. If that made Uraraka happy, he could do it. He thought his life wouldn't change much.But then, Kacchan went to live in the USA.

briar roses (and hundred years of sleep) by vannral | 15,951 | In which Izuku is hit by a ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Quirk, Class 3-A tries to find his True Love and get them to kiss him, and Katsuki’s very angry about it all.

"what's your type?" by sapphicflower | 20,192 | In order to increase their popularity rankings as up and coming pro heroes, Izuku and Katsuki participate in the most popular late night talk show for hero duos - ‘Heroes Rising!’. They’re killing it, obviously, because they know each other from inside and out. Until one question stumps the two of them: “What is your hero partner’s type?”

and it was Just Right by cinnabee | 23,759 | Katsuki spends two years post-graduation in a furious one-sided competition with his childhood friend and rival's promotional photos - until they finally run into each other, and, well. You shouldn't believe everything you see in magazines. A love story about size differences.

Notice Me, Nerd by useless_donut | 40,000 | Bakugou is in love with Midoriya. He doesn’t hide it, in fact it’s so painfully obvious that the entire class of 3-A has him figured out in a matter of months (days, in some cases). Too bad Midoriya is the most oblivious motherfucker out there, and Bakugou is too damn stubborn to actually ask him out. A love story as witnessed by the class of 3-A.

in your dreams, nerd! by sapphicflower | 37,639 | In a strange and unexpected set of circumstances, Izuku and Katsuki find themselves sharing their dreams together whenever they happen to fall asleep at the same time. Being hopelessly in love with each other, they don’t mind it all that much. What better way to spend time with your crush than in a stupidly vivid dream?

Hear Me by my_name_is_Levi | 22,419 | It wasn’t as if nightmares were uncommon for the freshman class of Yuuei. They’d seen plenty of things, heard and felt and witnessed enough travesty in their lives to last them a lifetime. But Midoriya Izuku was screaming, and no one, not even Bakugo Katsuki could ignore it.

Bridges by supercrunch | 18,018 | Bakugou is signed up for a Calvin Klein modeling gig. The thing is, they really do need the money. And Katsuki's technically the leader of this bunch of morons, so he finds himself taking the job even though his pride will never recover. And even though nobody thought to tell him that he'd be working with his ex-boyfriend. You know, the cute freckled guy from high school who went and broke his heart. So, yeah. This whole situation kind of sucks.

objective truth by mamalade | 15,390 | Izuku gets hit with a truth quirk, as one does. He seems to be handling it well—until Katsuki shows up.

catharsis by dollcewrites | 15,071 | It's been six years since Izuku graduated.It's been six years since he confessed to his childhood friend; his classmate and his inspiration. It's been six years since he deleted Bakugou's number, asked his friends not to mention the name, spent every last effort of his heart turning off the TV and averting his eyes from the newspapers. It's been six, long, long years since he gave up on Katsuki Bakugou ever loving him back.

Here here, my friends and me (You are my familia) by Jeka | 128,832 | Bakugou Katsuki has made a great job of ignoring the fact that he is tragically in love with Deku, someone who could never love him like that and let's face it, he doesn't deserve. Now that he can't ignore it anymore, he has to find a way to keep his childhood friend and move on for his own sake. Or so he had thought, maybe he can have Deku, after all. Izuku has everything he always wanted in life. But suddenly he has to navigate the most important relationship in his life through different eyes.

Canon World – Jealous!

Hands Off by SaysiWrites | 7,140 | When a new girl at school starts flirting with Bakugou, his friends quickly become invested in the idea of their friend experiencing love - even if he doesn't seem at all interested in her. What they don't see is Midoriya fuming in the background. But how can he get rid of her when they've spent so long keeping their relationship a secret?

Surfaces by surveycorpsjean | 25,225 | Katsuki has a new girlfriend, but something isn't right. As impossible as it is, Izuku can't help but wonder what it'd be like to be called Katsuki's girl.

Green-Eyed Beast by SecretKiwi | 4,721 | Everyone wants a piece of Katsuki Bakugou, but they should beware of the Green-eyed beast always lurking close behind him.

Green with Envy by Sol_Morales707 | 2,611 | Izuku Midoriya is not as innocent and pure as everyone thinks he is. The truth was he was very jealous and willing to do anything for a certain blonde.

Happy Camper by Arysa | 7,074 | Wanting a break from the stress of dealing with the rookie Pro Hero grind, a handful of students from Class A decide to go on a camping trip. Izuku's excited to relax and catch up with everyone, especially Kacchan. But, well, Kacchan's... Kacchan. And dating Kirishima.

How to stop time: kiss by Teddingtons | 31,693 | Deku finally asks Uraraka out. Everyone's supportive except Bakugou who can't even look him in the eye. Deku seeks him out after and is hit with truth.

What I Deserve by s_the_queen | 16,671 | When Izuku starts dating a student in General Studies, everyone is happy for him. She's super sweet and really caring. But something doesn't sit right with Katsuki.

Deku's Already Fucking Taken by asdfjkl129 | 20,704 | 5 times people don't realize that Deku is already in a very happy relationship and try their hand at asking him out, and then in Bakugou's unique and special style, get very firmly corrected, +1 time where no correction is needed.

His by sister_elric | 6,206 | Izuku would like to consider himself a pretty level headed individual. Sure, he had the occasional tunnel vision, especially when it came to training. And hero work. And Kacchan. But, overall, Midoriya felt as though he typically kept his cool. Well, maybe that was a stretch. But, at the very least he could understand his own emotions. So, it surprised even him when an unfamiliar emotion coursed through him as a first year approached his boyfriend, Katsuki.

Down the Red Line by MinervaHope | 7,804 | Izuku has been able to see the red strings of fate since birth. It's no surprise that his is connected to Katsuki.

Canon World – Fake Relationship Goes Wrong

how he should’ve known (and how it turned out) by vannral | 43,918 | In which Katsuki and Izuku pretend to be a couple to avoid journalists, the plan backfires magnificently because of course it does, and the act goes on. Includes feelings, pining, domestic fluff and jealousy.

Vicious by feelslikefire | 105,173 | Midoriya and Bakugou wind up in the very last position either of them thought they'd be in: Hero Partners. It's not fun, but they learn to cope. Their first big assignment together takes them undercover to infiltrate a cult, but the situation turns out far more sinister than they first thought.

What I can never tell you by Mikacrispy | 27,067 | After living in the US for 5 years, Izuku returns to take care of a concussed Bakugou who believes they're engaged. Now, Izuku has to pretend he's in a relationship with the man he's loved for most of his life, knowing that it's just a matter of time until Katsuki gets better and realizes it's all a lie.

Not-Dating by MiraChaDoodles | 14,290 | Katsuki takes Deku on a not-date to save his career, only to find himself wishing it were real.

we'll do the things that lovers do by ethereals | 29,544 | Izuku gets an invitation to Shouto's wedding and Katsuki is PISSED that he asks Kirishima to be his date (also he wasn't even fucking invited

Canon World – Friends With Benefits (?)

Four Times Bakugou Katsuki Doesn't Intend to Sleep With Midoriya Izuku (And the One Time that He Does) by fallingraine85 | 17,601 | He hadn’t planned for any of this. He isn’t about to go delving into the ball of yarn that is Midoriya Izuku’s heart; he isn’t equipped to try and untangle and make sense of it all. He isn’t about to try to analyze how he’s feeling about all of this, either.... How many times can you repeat the same mistake?

We Wear Chains on the Weekend by surveycorpsjean | 35,086 | Well, in a day of revelations, it turns out that Izuku isn't as vanilla as Katsuki previously thought. Unfortunately, that fascinating discovery is overshadowed by Izuku's dumbassery, because he has zero concept of aftercare."Don't go to anyone else," Katsuki says, because screw it. He can do a better job anyways. Or; Katsuki finds Izuku on a bad drop.

Just for Now by Shiro_Kabocha | 48,135 | Katsuki's parents are out of town over a school break and to keep him from getting up to any shenanigans, they ask Izuku to house sit with him. What are two teenaged boys to do when left alone to their own devices? (Bonus+ the entire Just for Love series)

safe in the darkness by yoonskisses | 20,855 | Izuku and Katsuki had been meeting up secretly for months, with absolutely no feelings involved. Or so Katsuki thought at least. The dorm gossip about Ochaco and Izuku's new relationship seemed to set a spanner in the works for their arrangement.

Alternative Universe – No Quirks

Bluebird by EtherealBeing | 53,108 | Dialing a wrong number was no unusual occurrence. Everyone did it once in a while, and Katsuki was well aware of that fact. However, possessing this knowledge made it no less aggravating for him to discover — a full two minutes into his rant about his day — that he’d been venting his frustrations to a complete stranger. As if that wasn't enough, said stranger was also inexplicably determined to hear his story to its end.

Someone Borrowed by mynameis152 | 138,996 | It felt like hours that he stared at Izuku, coming to terms with the fact that a man, his childhood best friend, whom he hadn’t seen since their senior year of high school, was there in front of his very eyes. Then his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched before he uttered through gritted teeth the very name Izuku had longed to hear for years. “Deku.”

Dark Side of the Sun by Synnie | 51,598 | Staying up too late playing video games, Kirishima wasn't expecting to get an urgent call begging for help. Next thing he knew, he was letting his classmate Izuku Midoriya take refuge in his apartment - without consulting his always angry roommate.

Manage Me by Justaperson1718 | 10,756 | Izuku becomes Katsuki’s model agent.

Don't Set Your Drink Down by Crandberrycrush | 88,424 | With sudden clarity Izuku realized he had broken the first rule of going out. Never leave your drink unattended.

Livewire by pretty_rekless | 18,160 | Per Ochako's request, Izuku downloads a gay dating app in hopes to finally find a partner. Except every single one of his leads keep ghosting him or standing him up... That is until one hot, fiery blond enters the chat. Grindr/Tinder AU fic.

Drinking Watermelon by warschach | 8,906 | Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.

Precious Pet by Mikacrispy | 6,379 | When broke college student Midoriya Izuku found a job that offered lodging, food, and good pay for four hours of work each day, he thought it was too good to be true. But he called anyway. Turns out all he has to do is to be the spoiled little puppy of a rich businessman.

Our Eleven Summers by Dark_Mage_Ayumu | 34,472 | The first time Katsuki met Izuku was when he was eight. For the next eleven years, Izuku changed his life, and no one even knew. Their relationship was something they shared in secret.

sticky note crushes by ladyofsnails | 3,239 | Katsuki hates his roommate. The green-haired, freckled, artsy son of a bitch with his dumb pun t-shirts and paint-stained hands he can’t fucking keep to himself. Katsuki can’t leave a single assignment or paper out in his room because that idiot will just grab anything to draw on it. He’s like a shark that can’t stop swimming else it’ll die – he can’t stop drawing. Ever.

Don't Play Pretend by SweetSide | 10,103 | Actor AU: Deku and Bakugou get the leading roles for an upcoming TV Drama. They weren’t aware that they would be working with each other for who knows how long. It would’ve been completely fine if they weren’t exes.

97.6 FM by jamjars | 32,249 | Izuku can’t stop listening to the radio host with the deep voice who sounds like he’s stuck in 2010. It’s a harmless crush. That is until he starts calling into the show under the pseudonym Deku.

Read {between} Your Lines by greatcloudninja | 52,252 | Midoriya Izuku, up-and-coming actor, has finally hit his big break (...), Bakugou Katsuki, who has been acting for over twenty years.However, Bakugou seems to have it out for Izuku, leading to tension both on and off set. When some incriminating photos surface, the studio suggests (...): having Bakugou and Midoriya fake a relationship to get ahead of the rumors.

I’m not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts by PassingShadow | 5,522 | Izuku is a professional cuddler and Katsuki is his new client that’s just a little rough around the edges, and needs a natural healing touch.

Alternative Universe – Quirkless Deku

A Good Old-Fashioned Tattoo AU by lalazee | 14,437 | After their paths had split, Bakugou & Deku meet again as adults. While Bakugou begins to repent for the kid he used to be, he also starts to prove himself as he the man he is now.

Call Me a Safe Bet (I'm Betting I'm Not) by WTTTD | 10,803 | He wished he had some sort of heads up before seeing Deku again for the first time after nearly two years, looking like the essence of a lazy Sunday, smiling and surrounded with brand new, adoring friends. It was a little fitting that Katsuki burned for him so badly. (Support Department Deku)

In Which Kacchan Has a Ruff Time by OneshotPrincess | 14,511 | Bakugou Katsuki gets quirked into a dog, gets adopted by an unknowing Izuku and generally has a very rough few days full of realizations

While You Were Sleeping by Belkacaramelka (annabelleg) | 71,197 | The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Let Me Assist You Personally by Seeress | 32,806 | Izuku is long-suffering Personal Assistant to #1 Pro Hero Dynamight.Dynamight can't keep a PA to save his career. They all quit crying after a few days weeks. Enter, Izuku—with enough money problems to brave the jaws of the cranky beast. Childhood friend turned glorified paid slave. Somehow it all works out. ‘Kill them with kindness’, his mom had told him once. If that were true, Bakugou Katsuki would be stone-cold dead by now.

Smile For The Camera by kurokonekokilled | 19,179 | Midnight has a cam site, home to millions of users, but one catches Katsuki's eye when he goes scrolled through it in search for something to help him release a little stress. A live stream and the best orgasm of his life later, his wallet is lighter, and he might be almost as obsessed with this Deku guy as the cam boy is with him.

Just Like The Comics by brichibi | 24,935 | Where Izuku works at a comic book shop because that’s as close to a hero as he’s gonna get, and Katsuki plays the part of heroic ex-boyfriend who is good at everything except winning Izuku back... maybe

Alternative Universe – Quirks

Get on my Level by Mikacrispy | 92,273 | Bakugou Katsuki is a Pro Hero whose boss demands him to take an intern. Midoriya Izuku is a UA student who needs an internship. When the two of them are put together, they learn about what it truly means to be a Hero and what it means to be in love.

A/B/O – Secret! Baby

Home by Emerald2402 | 87,214 | Midoriya Izuku left Japan in a rush, moving to America without a word to anyone else. But then almost 11 years later he arrives back Home and Bakugou Katsuki's Alpha is furious. Fuck that, Bakugou is furious, because Midoriya Izuku, an omega he tasted one time, has been keeping a very big, very blonde haired, green eyed secret.

Those Under the Same Stars by PerpetuallyPerturbed | 325,553 | When Katsuki Bakugo left Izuku Midoriya five years ago, he thought it was for forever. He put aside dreams and wishes of the omega to focus on his career. He was going to be the best hero, after all. He couldn't have an omega getting in his way. So when he's stopped on the streets one day by a pup begging for help for his mom, he isn't prepared to face what he gave up, and what the consequences of his actions were. (Quirkless Deku)

A/B/O – Quirks

Mark Me. Make Me Yours. by decadentbynature | 10,062 | Midoriya is the only Omega at UA and he's been hiding it well but there's one issue that threatens to expose him: his attraction to an Alpha, Bakugo. After being told to give some paperwork to Bakugo, Midoriya lets him into his dorm room and is immediately overwhelmed by his scent. Unable to help himself, he gives in to his urges, only to be discovered by Bakugo but instead of becoming enraged, Bakugo decides to give Midoriya exactly what he wants

Claim Me by ScientificallySinful (VampireGaaraCheesepuffs) | 114,449 | Being an Alpha has nothing to do with Katsuki's success as a Pro-Hero, the same way Deku's Omega status hasn't kept him from becoming Number Two. Secondary gender doesn't mean anything nowadays and “mating” is an antiquated practice. So when Izuku, his rival, asks Katsuki to Claim him in the middle of the night, there is only one logical thing to say. “What the fuck?”

Change of Plans by Mikacrispy | 185,965 | Alpha Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki never planned to get married to some random omega but what he wants isn't an option anymore. One for All wielder Midoriya Izuku has suffered injustice too many times and doesn't plan in allowing his secondary gender to dictate how he must live his life. Falling in love was never in the plans.

Going Feral For You by ANGIE_fic | 17,977 | Bakugou has an aggression problem that might have to do with his Alpha. His job is on the line because of it. So what do you do with a pent up Alpha? Yes.Rut. (Quirkless Izuku)

i live for you, i long for you by jeonjeonggukkkkkie | 19,165 | The five times Izuku hinted he wants Katsuki to spend his next heat with him, and the one time Katsuki took the hint.

Baby's First Bloom by ContraryBee | 44,945 | Izuku blooms for Katsuki one warm day in their third year of middle school. What follows is both boys learning about themselves, their bond, and the society they live in.

As Fate Would Have It by ScientificallySinful (VampireGaaraCheesepuffs) | 88,737 | Katsuki Bakugo had plenty of reasons why he wasn't mated yet, not that he was going to explain why to just anyone. But now, Ground Zero was running out of time. If he didn't find someone soon, he'd lose his position as a Pro-Hero and he'd never get to be #1. So, when he finds out there's a male Omega recently arrested for prostitution that's headed to prison if he too doesn't get a mate…well it must be fate. (Quirkless Izuku)

A/B/O – No Quirks

Gravity by warschach | 71,477 | Izuku is back in his hometown and plenty hasn't changed much from the 8 years he was gone. Except, Katsuki Bakugou, the alpha king of their small town. He's hotter- because that's fair, right, God? -, stronger, a now-famous pro fighter, and noticeably nicer this round.Not that he cares, pfft. (Fine, he cares.)

Nine Months by greatcloudninja | 23,303 | Omega Midoriya Izuku connects with Alpha Bakugou Katsuki through an online singles ad. Izuku pays Katsuki to help him with his heat, ending up pregnant in the process. What follows is a pregnancy filled with ups and downs, but whatever hurdles come their way, they can make it through together.

The long dark by Ominous-Anonymous (Ominonymous) | 13,289 | He could have been really dangerous. He could be a fucking murderer for all he knew. But Izuku Midoriya, ever the reckless daredevil, was not thinking of that when he got into a car with a complete stranger. Completely ignoring the part where his mother always taught him to never gets into cars with alphas he didn't know...

#bakudeku #masterlist #fanfic masterlist #katsudeku #holy shit i can't believe i did this #mizutori’s personal post archive #bakudeku fanfiction #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #alpha bakugou #omega izuku #bnha fanfiction #bnha #mha fanfiction #fanfiction masterlist post #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #archive of our own #ao3

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bluejayblueskies · 4 years ago

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Please say more abt how Martin fits the closed off trait I'm begging 👁👁

Okay, so I got a bit carried away with this and it got quite lengthy....

I've put a TLDR above the cut and the details, transcripts, and general discussion below the cut!

TLDR: Martin is at his core a closed-off character who keeps his vulnerable feelings hidden and close to his chest. He instead focuses on caring for others and considering their feelings above his own, particularly in the case of Jon, who he cares for (sometimes to the point of self-sacrifice) throughout the podcast. His arc with the Lonely in season four and his interactions with Jon in season five demonstrate this lack of emotional vulnerability, and it's really only during the moments he spends by himself that we get significant insight into Martin's emotional state and inner thoughts.

Martin, to me, is a character who is very used to hiding how he feels. He tends to care for others at the expense of himself, has low self-esteem, and has a predilection towards the Lonely, all of which go hand-in-hand with somebody who is very used to hiding their emotions--particularly the negative ones--because they either think they're not important or that they're inconvenient and inappropriate for the situation. On a textual level, that's probably due to growing up with a sick (and likely unsupportive) mother who he had to take care of, where there was 'no time' for his emotions to get in the way or for him to prioritize himself in any way, shape, or form.

Martin is self-destructive, dislikes moments of emotional vulnerability, and (I would argue) genuinely struggles when he doesn't have somebody else to prioritize over himself. (His mother at first, but as the series goes on, Jon settles comfortably into this role for him.) Additionally, the biggest way that we, the audience, know anything about Martin's emotional state is when he's alone and self-reflecting (such as in MAG 170 and 186 or when talking to the tapes) or when he's forced to talk about something vulnerable (such as when Jon confronted him about his CV).

We don't get much insight into Martin's character between seasons one and three (at least not as much as we get in four and five), but I find myself drawn to this bit in MAG 118, when Martin is talking to Elias:

MARTIN

So what? I don’t get to be angry? I don’t get to burn things? Just, just run around, making tea, while everyone else gets to actually have feelings?

I think two things are important to note here. The first is that Elias is surprised (or least intrigued) that Martin is acting in this way--specifically, acting on his emotions in such a dramatic way. (And given that Martin is doing this as a distraction, rather than actually acting out because of his own emotions, maybe he's right to be surprised.) The second is that this line very much implies that Martin doesn't talk about how he's feeling, not like 'everyone else' does. He doesn't talk about it, doesn't act on it--just 'runs around, making tea.' And when Melanie comes back in after Elias is done, Martin immediately focuses on the plan and whether it succeeded, ignoring Melanie when she asks if he's okay or not. He closes himself off, and as far as we know, doesn't talk about it at all after that.

And then Jon goes into his coma, and we reach season four.

Martin is incredibly closed-off during season four. He's self-isolating, self-sacrificial, and approaching a state of genuine emotional numbness by the time he's cast into the Lonely. There's a lot to unpack there, but I'm going to focus on a few main things, many of which can be drawn from this bit in MAG 158:

MARTIN

It’s not him! It’s not anybody. It’s just me. Always has been. I…

When I first came to you, I thought I had lost everything. Jon was dead, my mother was dead, the job I had put everything into trapped me into spreading evil and I… I really didn’t care what happened to me. I told myself I was trying to protect the others, but… honestly we didn’t even like each other. Maybe I just thought joining up with you would be a good way to get killed.

And then… Jon came back, and… and suddenly I had a reason I had to keep your attention on me. Make you feel in control so you didn’t take it out on him. And if that meant drifting further away, so what? I’d already grieved for him. And if it meant now saving him, it was worth it.

When you started talking about the Extinction, though… you had me actually, then, for a while. But then – (laughs sardonically) then, you tried to make me the hero. Tried to sell me on the idea that I was the only one who could stop it. And that I’ve never sat right with me. I mean, I mean, look – look at me, I’m not exactly a – a chosen one. But by then I was in too deep. So I played along. Waited to see what your end game was, and here we are.

Funny. Looks like I was right the first time. It’s probably still a good way to get killed?

This monologue is a big insight into Martin's thought process during this season, and I'm mostly going to focus on two parts: the self-sacrifice and the prioritization of Jon.

Self-sacrifice

There's quite a bit of discussion about Jon's self-sacrificial tendencies, but less so about Martin's, both in this season and in season five. In my opinion, Jon's self-sacrificial tendencies originate from (among other things) survivor's guilt from his traumatic childhood experience with Mr. Spider, his increasing belief that he's less than human, and the fact that he prioritizes the lives of others over his own. Martin's self-sacrificial tendencies, while very similar, come from the fact that he thinks he only has worth if he can help and care for someone else and the fact that he doesn't think he's important enough to live. (For example, he says in MAG 158 that he's 'not exactly a chosen one' and says in MAG 198 that he's 'not important enough to kill.')

It's a subtle difference between these two things, and I would argue that while Jon's tendencies are more rooted in the 'help' (ie, 'I want to help other people and I will sacrifice myself to do it'), Martin's tendencies are more rooted in the 'hurt' (ie, 'I will sacrifice myself and other people will be helped in the process'). There is, of course, overlap, and it's not a black-and-white distinction between the two, but ultimately, I think Martin is so used to prioritizing others' emotions and needs above his own that when he's left mostly alone as he is at the end of season three, with the only person left to hold onto being in a coma (possibly forever), he falls back into the same patterns of self-destruction and closed-offness, only without the 'help' to go along with the 'hurt' because there is nobody left to help (especially after his mother dies). Ultimately, he joins up with Peter because he thinks it 'would be a good way to get killed.'

Prioritization of Jon

But then Jon wakes up from his coma, and now Martin has justification for his self-sacrifice again, because he can protect Jon by continuing to work with Peter!

... Maybe.

Jon isn't harmed by Peter during season four, sure, but he does climb into the coffin and visits Ny-Ålesund and is tracked down by Julia and Trevor and struggles emotionally and morally with his own humanity and is hurt, in a way, by the distance Martin puts between them. And I hesitate to place blame for the apocalypse on anybody but Jonah, but if we're going to argue in-canon that Jon was responsible for the apocalypse (he wasn't, but that's not the point of this post), then Martin contributed to that blame and responsibility because it was his actions and decisions that ultimately drew Jon into the Lonely and resulted in him getting the 14th and final mark. (Again, I don't think Jon or Martin are at fault for the apocalypse, but if we were to blame Jon, we could blame Martin as well.) It was only after getting that mark that Jonah was able to use Jon to end the world, something that was hugely hurtful for Jon. So did Martin really protect Jon at all by staying away from him and continuing to work with Peter? Or was that just a convenient excuse to keep self-destructing?

Jon and Martin, in my opinion, had very similar arcs in season four. Martin was sinking further into the Lonely and Jon was sinking further into the Eye. We hear a lot more about Jon's emotional struggle with this given that he's the POV character, sure, but Jon also talks about this with other people. He talks about it to Helen (MAG 152):

JON

…

When does it stop?

HELEN

(impatient) What?

JON

The guilt. The misery. All the others I’ve met, they’ve been – cold, cruel. They’ve enjoyed what they do. When does the Eye (inhale) make me monstrous?

And to Daisy (MAG 136):

JON

My – (large sigh) My memories of the coma are not clear, but I know I made a choice; I made a choice to become… something else. Because I was afraid to die. But ever since then, I – I don’t know if I made the right decision; I’m stronger now, tougher, I can – (he cuts himself off) If I do die, now, or get sealed away somewhere forever? I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. And I don’t want to lose anyone else, so if I can maybe – stop that happening, and the only danger is to me, I – I’ll do it in a heartbeat; worst case scenario, the universe loses another monster.

But all we really get from Martin are the things he tells the tapes when he's alone and the monologue he gives in MAG 158. It makes sense that he wouldn't be as open, yes, given the nature of the Lonely, but I can't help but think of (MAG 154):

JON

The Lonely’s really got you, hasn’t it?

MARTIN

(no hesitation) You know, I think it always did.

Jon was always curious and hungry for knowledge; the Eye amplified it. Martin was always closed-off and isolated; the Lonely amplified that as well.

But then Jon pulls Martin out of the Lonely, they flee to the safehouse, and three weeks later, the apocalypse begins. Martin isn't as consumed by the Lonely as he was in season four, he's with Jon--the person he loves--for extended periods of time, and they're in an extremely stressful situation that's sure to be incredibly emotionally charged. There's a lot to be said about Jon's emotional vulnerability during season five and how Martin both pressures him for it and rejects it in different ways, but for the purposes of this post, I won't go too far into detail about the motivations behind how Jon is feeling and acting.

I will say, however, that in season five, Martin still continues to place a lot of focus on asking Jon how he's feeling, encouraging (or pressuring) him to share, and getting frustrated when Jon can't or doesn't (MAG 167):

MARTIN

Okay, so how exactly would you describe your current emotional state regarding all of this?

JON

I –

MARTIN

(overlapping) Go on, I’m all ears.

JON

I feel…

MARTIN

(go on) Mhm.

JON

(sigh) I feel… sad.

[Brief pause.] MARTIN

(flat) Sad.

JON

Very sad.

MARTIN

(*very* flat) Very sad.

[He sighs slightly as he says it. Their bags jangle.]

A few moments prior to this, Martin expresses displeasure that Jon is Knowing things about him, specifically pointing out his emotions (MAG 167):

MARTIN

It’s just – it’s weird knowing that you can know literally everything I think and feel. E-Especially since you’re not exactly the most open of people – emotionally, I mean.

I think Martin is making an effort to open up more to Jon. But I still think it's difficult for him to talk about how he feels so openly, and while he is completely in the right for not wanting Jon to Know things about him without his permission, I think it's interesting that the focus is on his feelings and that he brings up how Jon isn't emotionally open immediately after. It scares Martin to think that Jon could know, at any given moment, how he's feeling, and I think it's partially because he's not used to that level of vulnerability. He turns the focus on Jon, away from himself, and doesn't really make an effort to talk about how he's feeling about all of this, instead prioritizing Jon's feelings and mental state like he's grown comfortable with.

And when Martin bottles up his emotions--of which there are a lot, in such a stressful environment, they can explode out in hurtful ways:

MARTIN

(overlapping) I know! I know, okay, I just – (bracing exhale) Look, I j,just – don’t want to get burned, all right? It’s, it’s like my least favorite pain ever.

JON

Is that – a joke?

MARTIN

(a bit faster, a bit shaky) No, no, okay? I, I legitimately hate burns, alright? They’re, they’re awful, and they scar horribly, and they just – it – it just makes me sick; I, I hate it. Hate it!

I don't think Martin really thought about what he was saying when he told Jon, who has a large burn scar on his hand, that burn scars make him sick, and I don't think he meant it maliciously. But he'd spent the greater portion of the conversation talking around the fact that he didn't like burns and that was why he didn't want to go into the building, and so when it finally ended up coming out, it did so in an explosion of emotion rather than a conscious decision to share. Martin doesn't have a good handle on his emotions, and he doesn't have a good handle on sharing them.

(Is it too much for me to say that Martin was more emotionally vulnerable with himself in MAG 170 than he was with Jon when Jon finally found him?)

Throughout season five, Martin asks Jon questions, he expresses frustrations with Jon, he shows discomfort or fear at times, but for as much as Martin feels frustrated that Jon isn't talking about how he feels about their situation, Martin really isn't doing so either. The most he talks about his feelings is in MAG 170 and MAG 186, when he's by himself, and I remember MAG 186 in particular because before that, we really didn't know what Martin was thinking about for the majority of the season! And in this episode, we find out a lot of very important things about Martin's character. Like (MAG 186):

ALSO MARTIN

Look, I know what you know. Maybe I’m just a bit more… open about it.

Also-Martin acknowledges that Martin often doesn't say what he means and hides what he really feels, telling him that it's 'hard to be vulnerable,' and Martin is initially very resistant to the idea. And then, when Also-Martin suggests that Martin wants to stay so that he can be 'quietly sad,' we get (MAG 186):

MARTIN

We could talk to Jon about it.

ALSO MARTIN

We could. But we both know that loved ones make the worst therapists. They’re too wrapped up in trying to stop you hurting to actually help. But hey, we know all about that, am I right?

MARTIN

There’s nothing wrong with comforting people.

ALSO MARTIN

A cup of tea isn’t a resolution. At best it’s a… a plaster. At worst… a muzzle.

This is very interesting to me, because for all that Martin tries to help other people, he also believes that comfort doesn't always help and that you can't be your loved one's 'therapist.' I think this gives a lot of insight into why Martin doesn't share his emotions with the people he cares about, especially Jon; he doesn't want to put Jon in the position where he'll become his 'therapist,' and he doesn't necessarily think Jon can help. So instead, Martin just chooses not to be vulnerable at all, because he doesn't want to burden the people he cares about. But, when it's just him (MAG 186):

ALSO MARTIN

Don’t lie. You don’t need to. Not here. It’s just us.

He doesn't feel like he needs to pull his emotional punches. He can't accidentally hurt somebody or put them in an awkward position; it's just himself. But what's said to himself remains with himself, and (at least on tape), he doesn't discuss any of this with Jon. Not even the bit about, if it came down to it, Martin would have rather had Jon smite him than continue to rule over a domain. He goes right back to being closed-off around Jon, but now we, the audience, know what lies underneath, and how little of it reaches the surface.

In fact, the thing Martin's probably most vocal about is how Jon's feelings about himself bother him (MAG 199):

MARTIN

I guess that’s why it really bothers me, you know? I try, but I can’t actually imagine ever making a decision that I knew meant losing you.

And it… It hurts to know you can.

And I think he has a tendency to use anger and frustration to cover up hurt, shying away from the admission that something Jon's done has hurt him (an incredibly vulnerable thing) and instead relying on the less-vulnerable and more external anger to cover it. This is more speculation than true analysis, but I think that's a lot of what's happening in MAG 200, when he discovers that Jon has already assumed the position of the pupil and has, in Martin's eyes, broken his promise.

#tma #the magnus archives #martin blackwood #tma meta #jonathan sims #(because i do talk about jon a bit in this too)#i actually think martin isn't good with emotions at all #both his own and others'#i think he doesn't quite know what to do with them so he puts on a mask and defaults to things he knows will work #*thinks about the low empathy autistic martin high empathy autistic jon post with love in my heart*

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hopeymchope · 2 years ago

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Loooong final thoughts and lingering questions regarding A.I.: The Somnium Files - nirvanA Initiative

Even moreso than the first game, this game is really hard to discuss without digging into spoilers. Yikes. But I’ll try for a little while, I guess.

1) One the one hand? I loved this game, and I really hope the series gets a third entry so it can be another great Uchikoshi trilogy alongside the “Zero Escape” games. On the other hand? These characters are insanely overdue to get their happy endings, and I’m saddened to see them get delayed for YEARS on that. :P

2) I know I’ve already mentioned this, as did an ask I received before even playing the game. But it bears repeating that the lengths this game goes to in order to avoid spoiling the first game REGARDLESS of whether you already played that game are truly absurd. If they ever DO make a third game, I hope they can find some way around this mess (which would only get even MORE complicated after the events of this sequel). Might I suggest doing a prequel adventure, perhaps... ?

2) Looking back, it’s HILARIOUS how incredibly, deeply wrong my initial speculations were :)

3) ....okay, but it seriously drove me FUCKING NUTS that nobody in-game even commented on the shape of Komeji’s head. Or why he has a big dot on his forehead where his “third eye” would be, for that matter. That’s all just... normal to the people of the AITSFverse, huh? Really?

4) I’m so very grateful for being able to adjust the difficulty of the somniums. I sucked so bad at somniums in the first one.

Okay, SPOILER COMMENTARY BEGINS NOW.

1) The first game built an effective mystery out of information our lead doesn’t know, but the sequel builds a mystery out of information that only the player doesn’t know. The characters themselves really had plenty of information that should’ve made them capable of solving the case before SIX YEEEEAAARS had passed, IMO.

2) Can’t say I’m a very big fan of “Tama” and her personality/design. She’s HYPER-sexualized in a way that Aiba wasn’t and isn’t, really. It’s.... kind of uncomfortable sometimes. I have to wonder how an A.I. eyeball decides to generate such a holographic body type or gets so into sexual references anyway? What experiences developed her in this fashion? Hrrrrrm.

3) AS SOON as we started talking about “genetic editing/engineering,” in the game’s second chapter, I said, “Oh man, I really hope they use this plot point to retroactively explain Mizuki’s crazy strength and Date’s wild porn-induced powers.” And hey, one out of two isn’t that bad! I *love* that they went to this trouble to go back and logically justify something that was just a goofy gag in the first title. And after Date provides everyone with a detailed explanation for how his “porn mag = enhanced strength and speed” thing actually works, I was convinced that part of it was still yet to come! Sadly? Not to be. Hey, maybe they can still retroactively introduce an origin for that in part 3! Suffice it to say that I LOVE the idea of going back and retroactively explaining the silliest parts of the series using actual logic and lore. LOVE.

4) Lien’s huge “DANGER ZONE” tattoo is something that amused me from start to finish. I’m simple sometimes. Give a Japanese thug a tattoo referencing a Kenny Loggins classic, and I’m happy. And yes, I absolutely do believe it’s a reference to that seminal Top Gun anthem.

4) More than the first game, this game has the cops just... not even try to negotiate or coerce or otherwise even ATTEMPT to get reticent suspects to tell their secrets. Instead? Everything always comes down to “sync with them,” and if that doesn’t give you the answer you desired? You give up and let them go and never ask about it again. Admittedly, this because game mechanics gotta happen, and the first game isn’t completely innocent of this problem either, but the “drop the issue like a hot rock” element is definitely unique here. .............................. God DAMN do you guys suck at this ‘policing’ business. And that’s not even getting into information that you keep to yourselves when you ABSOLUTELY should be sharing it with your colleagues and superiors.

Y’know, like when a suspicious figure it somehow obscured in your vision while you chase them, and you don’t know why your cybereye is blocking out what they look like, but you just don’t tell anyone it even happened AT ALL........... fuuuuuuuuuuuck

5) Ryuki getting chewed out and threatened with losing his job unless he could hit some arbitrary deadline just because a suspect appeared and escaped within the underground cathedral? Really pissed me off because it made no sense. This has never happened to any cop, ever. I guess we can kinda excuse it because it fits with some old-school movie tropes about cops, maybe? But once the timeline is “corrected” and we see that that didn’t even HAPPEN in the past? IT MAKES EVEN. LESS. SENSE. He is literally never seen or known to do ANYTHING wrong that would warrant such a reaction from Boss!!!! Furthermore: Since he DIDN’T catch the HB Killer back then, does that mean he’s not a cop with ABIS by the later timeline? Because that certainly does not appear to be true! He seems to still be operating as one, just a fucking crazy one due to circumstances beyond his own control that nobody seems to have discovere/addressed in the interim.

6) I absolutely adore that the terrifying visage of Gen’s mask is ultimately hiding... the sweetest, most noble person you can possibly imagine. I am *always* here for someone to subvert the expectations of your first visual impression. ALWAYS down for that shit. Wonderful, thank you, no notes.

7) Although I eventually expected what was under the mask of the mysterious woman in the cool cloak, it also feels like one of the most overt examples of making the story jump through hoops just to suit the twist they wanted. I feel like Uchikoshi definitely thought up the “We told you the story in the wrong order!” twist before he ever came up with the existence of a second Mizuki to explain it all. The fact that they dress exactly the same and act the same and both have that name and both use Aiba but AIba forgets about the first Mizuki by coincidence and... YEAH, it’s pretty forced.

8) I was both horrified and delighted by the reveal that Amame is one of our culprits. I never once thought that a character we met in the first game - someone who was portrayed as just a quiet, good-hearted, sweet kid - would actually go off and murder someone in our sequel, and I LOVE that twist. In truth, I kind of wish she’d killed Tokiko too as Aiba originally theorized. Just let her go all the way off the deep end! But uhh... that would really make our relatively happy ending a lot less happy, because then Amame wouldn’t be getting that light jail time, huh? So maybe not... lol.

9) Because these games tend to ultimately be so hopeful by the end, I thought Kizuna might even get some futuristic cure to her paralysis by the conclusion and be up to dance by the big finale. But it’s probably better that she didn’t. There have to be SOME consequences to these events, after all.

10) I wish Mizuki would actually show some concern/affection for her long-missing adoptive father after he finally resurfaces. Like, instead of just insulting him and treating him like shit?? The brief moments when she ISN’T insulting him and belittling him are heartwarming, but they’re SO few and far between. And there’s no denying how much he’s done for her and how much he loves her. Mizuki even took his family name eventually. But from her actual words, you’d be hard-pressed to know that she even likes him at all. Girl needs serious psychological help to learn how to communicate properly, because kee-RY-st.

11) Given how utterly fucking psycho Kizuna’s dad goes in at least one route — particularly with how he sends a massive army of thugs that have no compunction about even KILLING Lien — I was really hoping we’d see Mr. Chieda taken down and arrested for his connections by the end. Alas, there is no ending where he pays for his cruelty and associations. He always just walks the hell away. Meh. :P

12) What... on EARTH.... was the point of Boss pretending like Ryuki died in the final battle?! Only to reveal to EVERYONE that he was alive/fine the whole time... ?!?! So clearly there wasn’t even a need to hide that he lived at all?!? I guess she really just likes fucking with everyone by devastating them for no reason. Jesus Christ, Boss. What the actual FUCK is wrong with you. I guess now I can finally appreciate why someone as whip-smart and hot and utterly girlboss as her is single... it’s because she’s secretly a goddamned SOCIOPATH.

13) The introduction of the “The Frayer” and the unlockable Secret Ending is in keeping with Uchikoshi’s other works, sure, but it also raises a lot of problems that I think I’d rather not contemplate in regards to the universe of the game series. I’ll have to try to compartmentalize that as “stuff that cutely refers to the fact that you’re playing a video game” and not consider that information strictly, y’know, canon.

Ultimately, I obviously have far more plot/writing concerns than I did with the first. I would still say the first is better. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t having a DAMN good time throughout. I’m still very happy this exists. And here’s hoping for some more adventures down the line...

#a.i.: the somnium files #a.i.: the somnium files - nirvana initiative #a.i. the somnium files #a.i. the somnium files - nirvana initiative #aitsf #aitsf:ni #aitsf-ni #aitsfni #kotaro uchikoshi #visual novels

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prof-peach · 4 years ago

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if fans wanted to include peach in stuff they write, would that be okay? and how would they write peach's personality? aside from "FIGHT ME" anyway, i think that much is a given lol. i only really write the anime characters 'cause that's what i know, but it sounds like it'd be kinda fun to try making a version of ash that fits into this blog's universe! nerf'd Obviously, but i think she'd probably appreciate how hands-on he gets when training his pokemon!

Ok, I get a lot of these messages, and I often hear folks wanting to throw peach into their stories and comics and writings, and I will always simply ask that if it’s published online publicly, to be linked to it so I can snoop and enjoy the content too. If someone asks about her in your work, let them know about the blog I guess? But literally I love that people take this stuff, these characters and stories, and make new stuff with it. No ones making money off my work here? So where’s the issue? Go for it buddy, knock yourself out, I’m all for it.

For you, and all the others out there who want to add peach, and other characters to your world building, I will give you a detailed rundown of the main lot, and how they behave, what they do, how they function. You can use that, use bits, or use none of it, I do not mind at all. If you’re creating something, you’re in control, not me.

So, peach doesn’t actually fight people as much as you’d think. She’s very aware most cannot and do not want to do that, and so she likes to keep to herself with regards to that aspect of her life, she doesn’t ask to spar with people, or even bring it up at all, but people ask her all the time, even if they clearly would lose or become hurt should she miscalculate during the fight. She looks at people like they usually create problems, and often has a somewhat reserved nature to other humans. You have to work quite hard to get anything more than formalities out of her. She will dead-pan handle people with blunt and very to-the-point statements, aid whenever possible, but very quickly get back to handling the Pokemon she so carefully tends. Her focus is clear, she’s all about hard work, her very small select family, and the Pokemon.

Her brutal, loud and brash personality only comes out with friends, family, difficult humans, OR any Pokemon. She will joke and laugh and play with Pokemon, but clam up around humans, maintaining tight body language and generally will be a little cold by regular standards. She does however have some weaknesses in this emotionless shield she puts up. When peach was young she was always angry, which swung so fast to sadness, back and forth. Her teenage years it just got worse and worse, it was crippling at points. She is to this day, full of fire and rage, even sadness, but now she has learnt to control it, to use it. When she sees that in others, it’s familiar, and she is pushed to drop the front, and be very real with the person. Underdogs I suppose, people who get bad reps, but deserve the same as everyone else. She can’t ignore it.

Once you start to pry open her personality, you’ll find she’s a lot more laid back and fun than originally appeared, you just have to work hard to find that side of her. She will meme reference, can’t dance to save her life, loves her coffee, and can be caught in quiet contemplation while gardening. This hobby is her calmest, and often is why she can stay so level headed when her quiet rage boils up again. Without time outside she will become grouchy, a little snippy, and lethargic. Will not go in the ocean for any reason other than life or death, is fine with ponds and rivers, or water at wading height. Likes the rain.

With regards to her training others, they usually have to tolerate her somewhat strict nature. She is a little....unforgiving, holds a grudge if you make a lot of mistakes, and has no tolerance for ignorance in the age of information that we all live in. In previous posts I’ve mentioned she’s only recently selected two students, after many years of testing kids who want to learn from her. Hundred tried out, only two have ever been approved. How she teaches is very fast paced, be prepared to get some scrapes and bruises, she will test your physical and emotional tolerances with intense tasks, carefully watching students like a hawk. Bad posture in your stance? She’ll be the first to tell you to sort it out. Not hearing your Pokemon partner? Right, now you spend the day without using words trying to communicate, let’s see how you like not being listened to.

This is a woman who has spent her life saying very little, and watching everything, she watches Pokemon and can see an issue from a mile off, and in battles, her observations are why she can react fast, and chose effective strategy to avoid damage and achieve results. Don’t let her body fool you, her strongest asset is analysing, watching, planning. Those skills have over the years transferred to people too. As a student, mistakes don’t go unnoticed with this professor.

Her methods are harsh but fair, and should you prove yourself, she will protect you with her life.

Because of her disinterest in kids and lots of noise, she does pass the training of students on to the other staff members whenever possible. Grey takes on the lions share of battle lessons, he is far calmer, more open and friendly, with patience for people, and an empathy that peach sometimes struggles to have. When you go through a lot of harsh training, and difficult events, it’s hard to change how you feel or think, with peach, well, she’s been through it. Most do not come out the other end in one piece, but she did, and it made her strong. You may think I mean strong like buff and big, and yeah sure she is, but I mean it mentally more than anything. Peach will not quit. She has learnt to destroy the boundaries that stop people getting hurt, gone is the fear that freezes you in your tracks, that feeling that you’ll pass out if you go one more step. She’s learnt to ignore it.

This means she’s a little forgetful at how it is to be normal, to be vulnerable and soft and squishy like students so usually are.

She has her issues, but for the most part, visitors get a laugh, a smile, a calm assertive confidence, and facts. She will indulge those who have genuine interest, or show a connection with nature, an understanding of the balance that needs to be struck for everyone to live well together.

Despite her many flaws, she’s fiercely protective, and will go above and beyond to defend the island, it’s staff, the Pokemon and the visitors. Injustice is her biggest gripe, along with littering, and she doesn’t stand by quietly if something happens that seems unfair.

You will not see her without Valka, her vulpix, close by. That Pokemon doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, at all, and will run the second someone comes at her with that intent. Peach will scold you for pushing yourself onto her, should you persistently try to get close to pet Val. They are in sync, if peach is sad, Val is sad, if Val is stressed, peach is stressed, and so on. They are inherently connected, it’s just been that long, the psychic bridge between them has been built, and reinforced over the years.

The only other Pokemon who follows her so endlessly is Booker, a teddiursa who’s pretty rough looking. He quietly trots behind, grouchy and stoic, they fight closely together a lot. He lost his mom a long time ago to poachers, and peach took him in, and changed her whole life for him. Not many people know, but Booker was the reason she left the rangers, changed career, and got so strong. Will tolerate people petting him but isn’t keen at all, grumbles a lot and tries to move away.

You may also need to know about the others, for the sake of writing, she here a few more bits that may be important to you, or others wanting to do this.

Grey is very tall, very burly, composed, tells bad dad jokes, is a bit of a goof if allowed to be. If he sees a pun, he’ll say it. Can’t help himself. Very nice guy to work with, good at keeping people calm and grounded. Pokemon are drawn to him like a moth to a flame, he gives off warm energy, and has inhuman amounts of patience. If you wrong his family however, he will snap back.

He grew up in the city, loves to swim and hike and cycle, can snowboard, is really sporty. A total brain box with held items, and boosting stats. He will explore many paths, to make sure visitors and students get the information they need, in a way that can be remembered and retained for later. Is a huge guy, but will get on the floor to play with a tiny Pokemon. Treats big “meaner” looking species like babies, very good with all pokemon.

His free time is spent either tinkering, swimming, or trimming his bonsai trees. This guy stares at screens a lot, so appreciates time away from them. Peach built him his own little greenhouse for his trees and tools, which he keeps clean and loves dearly.

His methods as a teacher are built around fun and games, he makes hard work easier to do by distracting trainers from the difficult bits, and focusing in on something more interesting or compelling.

His most commonly seen Pokemon would be a houndoom, Saxon, old battle veteran, retired now to herding and being a good boy. Very gentle, loves a pet.

Pari, now a fully fledged nurse, often oversees the labs front desk and pokecentre features, such as healing pokemon, and informing trainers who come to visit. Her skills with eggs and hatchlings is high, she’s great with younger Pokemon, and hands out good advice to trainers a lot. She’s not a fighter, never was, but can find any file, any study, any book, and any refrence you may need. A true bookworm, loves her romance novels, chat shows and upbeat celebrity gossip mags. Will cry at a lot of stuff, be it sad or happy.

She’s got a seriously upbeat personality, but if caught off guard or shocked, she gets a little flustered. Too much chaos will overwhelm her, but usually she’s on top of things. The years spent on the island have made her better at maintaining composure in emergencies. With lots of siblings, she’s very competent with others, and has a good ability to disarm cagey people with her jolly nature. Because of this, she can sometimes gain information from trainers that some of the more harsh professors may not have access to. Charming is a word for it.

Her partners are an eevee, and a happiny. They are quite sweet and well adjusted, the eevee gets a bit bouncy if you get it too excited.

#if you dont want to use the refs #im really cool with it #just enjoy yourself buddy #pokemon #prof.peach #peach talks #prof.grey #pari #dotaku island #dotaku staff #PLEASE #just ask me if you dont know something #or feel i missed something in what i wrote

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