#like not everyone worries abt dying at least once a day. or does not like to think in nuance

[skylordhorus]

its such a bizarre feeling when ur suddenly necessitated to acknowledge a thought process that a. u didnt even notice was there because its so natural to u and b. that other ppl dont think like that

[just-a-creep-babe]

I'm back?? Creeps with a really go with the flow, devil-may-care, Not afraid of death, Chill SO? [EX: *meets creeps* Wow, okay, this is my life now I guess. || Same stuff as always! *helps hide body* || You wanna fly into the Bermuda triangle and live to stream it? Heck yeah, she'll bring spicy sour patch kids. || Don't worry! I'm still in shock! Can't feel a thing! || '*does something stupid* we survived? Brilliant. Love it when that happens. ] Thanks!♡

~Requests are closed but commissions are open~

Masterlist: x

Slenderman

Jfc—why?

He’s already worried about litcherally everyone else in the mansion, now you too?

He is Quite Concerned™️

Lowkey more concerned for you over the others but that’s a given tbh

Honestly questions how tf you’ve manage to make it this far without dying

He makes it his personal mission to keep you safe at all costs—no matter what

So on the bright side, you sort of inherit this ancient eldritch being as a personal bodyguard!

But on the not-so bright side, said being just doesn’t let ya have any fun around here >:/

Will physically restrain you from doing something stupid so you don’t get caught up in anything dangerous

Starts considering giving you a curfew or smthg because even he can’t keep up with the stuff you get pulled into

But he respects you too much for that, ofc, so he just begrudgingly accepts that you’ll keep doing you—no matter how irresponsible or dangerous it might be :”)

Still loves you despite the heart attacks you nearly put him through every other day :)

Jeff the Killer

This 👏mans 👏will 👏love 👏you 👏forever 👏

At first, admittedly, he’s a teensy bit put off by your nonchalance because how can someone actually be that laid back all the time??

But once he adjusts to it & realizes that you aren’t, in fact, faking it for whatever reason, he’ll be completely & utterly enamored with you

Like,, he can do a bunch of stupid shit & drag you along into it & you won’t freak out??

Sign 👏him 👏up 👏

Loves not having to worry about you sanity tbh—there’s no need to hide all the dangerous crap he does because he knows you won’t worry ^^

And homeboy most definitely will take advantage of your go-with-the-flow nature

He’s got a taste for danger & doing stupid shit—how could he not bring you along with him?

If/when y’all get caught & put in trouble tho, he’ll take the blame so that you don’t suffer for something that was most likely his idea

Jeff? Doing the right thing? It may be more likely than you think 🤔

It still sometimes unnerves him just how chill you are with everything, but hey, he can’t let you outdo him in badass-ness, so he’s guaranteed to incite plenty of chaos to prove himself; it’s bound to be an exciting time uwu

BEN Drowned

Oh he is sO down

One of the perks of being dead? He probably can’t die again

So there are absolutely no limits to the insane shenanigans he’s willing to pull off

The fact that you’re just as down to clown makes thing so much better

It gets to the point where someone constantly needs to keep an eye on the both of you so you don’t accidentally end up dying

Cause BEN (and bless his soggy soul) as much as he loves you, tends to forget how fragile human beings can be

So it’s up to the others to make sure your lack of self-preservation doesn’t get you killed

But your fearlessness & nonchalance is like a breath of fresh air!

Things can get a teensy bit boring when you’re immortal, so he’s more than happy to have a badass s/o by his side who’s down for pretty much anything uwu

Y’all get into a bunch of stupid, dangerous & probably illegal shit—but he wouldn’t want it any other way 😘

Eyeless Jack

Similar to Slendaddy, this mans is Concerned™️

He will constantly check you over to see if you need to get patched up because he knows you’re a danger magnet

But at the same time, he doesn’t wanna be too overbearing

Like he definitely has this live & let live mentally (prolly in part due to his diet) so he‘ll try not to bring up too often how nervous he is about your safety & well-being

You’ve accepted him as he is, part demon and all, so he feels like he owes you the same

Even if it does scare the shit out of him because my god what have you gotten yourself into this time??

He’s kinda like a worried mom tbh—he’ll pack you up a lunch & send you off with a “be safe, don’t do anything dangerous, say no to drugs,” and stuff, even despite knowing you probably won’t listen

Homeboy just wants you to grow & experience the world for yourself :”)

Still, he’ll ask the others to keep an eye out for you & to not put you in too much danger

And he’ll totally sometimes follow you from the shadows just to make sure you’re staying safe skdjsjdlsjl

He’s a protective demon boi, what can I say? :)

Masky

He’s,,,, pretty impressed actually

Thinks your nonchalant attitude is kinda badass

Of course he still gets worried, but he’s also prone to forgetting how fragile most people are

His pain tolerance is pretty dang high, so he doesn’t always realize certain things can hurt normal people. Badly

He’ll feel super bad if you get injured with him, but at least homeboy will try to make it up by giving you plenty of sweets & cuddles uwu

He might try to give you a stern talking-to so that you’re more careful, but he knows it won’t stop you from being you

Still, overall, he thinks it’s pretty sweet that you’re down for, like, anything

Will probably wanna take you with him for jobs sometimes—just cause he can & it probably won’t traumatize you too bad :>

Just don’t tell slender

Thinks his bold little s/o is damn cool & lowkey brags abt you all the time uwu

Hoodie

He thinks it’s pretty funny lmfaoo

Is torn between being worried & wanting you safe while also desperately wanting to just be like “fuck it” and do a bunch of stupid shit with you :”)

Will probably take advantage of how you don’t worry much to tag you along in his shenanigans

But at least he’ll make your safety & comfort his utmost top priority uwu

Honestly, he admires how chill you are with shit that’s pretty traumatizing—it’s almost funny that you’re just as brave as he is, considering his line of work and all

It’s,, kinda intriguing to him; homeboy will maybe wanna psychoanalyze you a lil 👀👉👈

You’re just so interesting, he can’t help but be a smidge fascinated 👁👄👁

Really wants to be able to make some good, wild memories with you <3

He’s honestly the perfect balance of protective & adventurous at the same time

Just wants to please his little s/o and keep them safe & happy while fulfilling their need for wild shenanigans :>

Ticci Toby

Oh boy

He is the same

Together, y’all are chaotic af

The creeps know not to leave you unsupervised because shit will go down

The utmost chaotic duo in need of constant watching over & patching up ngl 😅

Seriously, the others are damn near always worried about babysitting you two because you’re both danger magnets

And it doesn’t help that Toby has no concept of danger and/or pain

He’ll try to be super sympathetic if/when you do get injured, but poor boy will be clueless af as to how to help

So more often than not, he’ll end up using himself as a human shield to protect you from danger to make up for it

Either way, y’all get into so much shit, it’s unbelievable

Kinda perfect together but like,, in the worst of ways lmfaooo

[wowtobio]

Hi, could you please write hcs for tendou, Kuroo, and iwazumi helping their s/o who has horrible back pain. Like to the point of almost not being able to get out of bed( I am in that situation, but during school I’d have to take a bunch of pain killers to get through the day)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟKuroo, Tendou, and Iwaizumi w/ an s/o who has back pain･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

awwh i’m really sorry to hear that :( back pain is the worst, i hope the pains go away for you very soon ❤

my last post flopped haha :’) o whale

genre: fluff

Kuroo

Alarm sounds jarred within the confines of your bedroom. Ignoring the searing pain in your back which was the true cause of your awakening, you slap your hand on the snooze button, silencing the most annoying sound in the world.

You sat up. Yup. Nope. Not today.

You collapse back into your pillows. The warmth and softness that welcomes you does not soothe the excruciating sting starting from your lower back spreading upwards. School is not worth enduring through combined with this. Gulping down some painkillers, you tell your parents class is a no go. And by the grim look you had, they allow you to stay home. 

Kuroo notices your absence immediately, and he pulls out his phone sending you a text. 

This boi will borderline spam your phone and will call you during break times at school. You appreciate the sentiment, but as you answer his fourth call with a tick mark on your forehead, he realizes that he should probably cut it out in order for you to get your beauty sleep. 

He thinks about you the whole entire day and is lowkey worried abt your well being awwwwh

Buys your favorite snacks and some painkillers on the way home, Kenma’s like “you’re so whipped kuroo oml” 

When Kuroo arrives, he just casually walks in. He’s been here before. Upon seeing your curled up form he sits beside you. No words exchanged as he lays his hand on the small of your back, rubbing it soothingly. His touch is familiar to you and you sigh with content.

You both end the day sharing and feeding each other the snacks and you listening to Kuroo talk about his day. He gives you the assingments he collected for you throughout the day and he offers to help you catch up on it. Of course, homework and studying is the last thing on your mind as you practically jump into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck, 

His arms encircles your body, his fingertips stroking your back in attempt to relieve the pain. 

Tendou

Groaning, you ignore Tendou’s phone calls. This was your morning routine, your adoring red-headed boyfriend would spam call you acting as your alarm, patiently waiting outside your dorm. Once you do wake up and get ready, you meet him outside and walk to your classes hand in hand. 

However, today was a different case. Your back decided to act up once again, normally you would bite your tongue and deal with it. It may have been the way you slept or your back just decided to be a little dickhead, either way you couldn’t even sit up due to the screaming pain you were feeling. 

Your ringtone going off and the text tones rapidly popping up did not help, your annoyance towards the middle blocker grew. Finally you picked up the phone.

“OI TENDOU COULD YOU QUIT IT PLEASE. I ain’t coming to class today so just go on without me” 

Before you could hear his dramatic wails, you push the red end call button and throw your phone on a nearby nightstand. Not even 5 minutes of peace go by as the door to your dorm burst open with your worst enemy aka your boyfriend. 

Thank goodness your roommate already headed off, but you silently cursed her for leaving the door unlocked. Ignoring the calls from Tendou you chuck a pillow at his face. For whatever reason he falls on his butt due to the force of said object and he spits out how cruel and cold you are. 

When you don’t retort back like you usually do and instead curl up into a ball crying a little in pain, the boi goes silent. surprisingly. This is not the first time you experience these pains, Tendou now reads the room and he waddles on over to your side. 

Poking your arm he c a u t i o u s l y asks if you’re okay. because he loves you ofc

“Nee~ (y/n)-chan. Are you okay? You’re no fun when you’re all grumpy like this”

No response again, he sighs before walking off. Your ears perk up at his short arrival. He brings back a heating pad and some painkillers with some water to down it. He offers it to you and you thank him shyly, a light pink dusting your cheekbones. 

You didn’t even realize how much time has passed and you frantically panic and shout at Tendou he’d going to be late for class. He merely laughs it off and wave off your concerns. 

“Don’t worry about it honey! I’ll be here for you, now lay on your stomach for me okay?” 

There’s no convincing him otherwise, so you sigh and lay down. He starts to massage your back and even do his cute little karate chop thing that always made you giggle (seen in the gif above^^ lucky goshiki). 

Iwaizumi

sooo I have read a few scenarios in which Iwaizumi is your nextdoor neighbor and all I have to say is yes. I love it. So I am writing about it here too because I want too.

#iwaisbestneighbor

Alright, upon waking up you cry out slightly as you predicted. The slight uncomfortableness you felt before and during you slept has ended with a now terrible aching in your back and all you want to do it make the pain stop. 

Try to sit up? Haha no, you could barely turn over on your side to check your phone, sending your boyfriend who also happened to live next doors, a text message saying you won’t make it to school. 

About 5-10 minutes pass and you hear your front door open. When your bedroom door opens you jump which causes you to yelp slightly in pain. Iwaizumi clad in his school uniform, tsks. 

“And here I thought you were dying” He scowls slightly. 

“I am Hajime! Or at least my back is hmph” You pout at him. 

Iwaizumi only sighs before sitting on the edge of your bed, his backpack left on your carpet floors, long forgotten. “I was only kidding” he states matter of factly, his roughed up hands from his volleyball practices finds themselves tangled in your hair. His hand strokes and massages your scalp and you purr at his touch. 

Tugging on his sleeve, you give him the puppy eyes you know he cannot resist. Hajime coughs slightly, attempting to hide the growing blush on his face and you only laugh at his shyness. He denies your request, claiming that he shouldn’t skip school.

“Buuuut Hajimeeee, you’re smart so it’s okay if it’s just one day” Cue the same puppy eyes, but this time cuter. Iwaizumi didn’t even know such a thing was possible. 

Turning bright red once again, he pinches the bridge of his nose and groans before sneaking into your arms right beside you. Silently cheering out of joy, you bury your face into his broad chest and inhale his masculine scent. His strong biceps wrap around and massages your back, he hides his face in your hair and mumbles

“I’m doing this for you idiot, so be grateful” 

-

a/n: it’s confirmed that i have a thing for iwaizumi’s hands sighh but thanks for reading! i hope everyone’s healthy, happy and staying safe hehe

masterlist

[hiimsociallyawkward]

the wicked day

hey guys. i'm back with my random and annoying merlin thoughts. i should be studying for my bio quiz, but yk- i don't want to :,) love you @lady-ofmagic-andstars✨enjoy✨

literally every time i'm going watching i'm going to comment on john hurt that says young man instead of young boy

it's so subtle but wow. thanks i didn't need to be hurt so early on in the episode

i know i know i'm basically a child but this is so exciting

merlin is so cute

aw no not arthur being pouty abt his big birthday

I LOVE THE 'i heard that' thing so much. i love it i love it

off topic, but i love knife throwing. i've always thought that if i had to choose a weapon that's not a gun, i'd choose knifes. swords? maces? crossbows? sure. but knives?? that's where it's really at

i love arthur not wanting to overburden their citizens

ok uther? i hate him

but here? i love him

he's a good dad here. remembering arthur's birthday? that's so sweet. uther in season 4 is the only time i semi like him

AW ARTHUR AND UTHER AT DINNER

i love them

off topic but i like that arthur is wearing his 'every day' clothes, jacket and a tunic under his cape. that's it. the knights are all wearing his garb but arthur is just wearing his 'regular clothes'

hehe gwen being nervous about arthur being on the wheel is so sweet

idk why but i always get nervous at that last knife.

like of COURSe i know he's not going to get hit but it's scary.

the 'not wearing any trousers' thing omg. bbc really decided to do that

i wish we had more of this parental dynamic of arthur and uther

dam alright arthur. being out of it but still being in it enough to see the guy in the reflection? i stan

SKLFJASLDFJA uther fighting to protect arthur

literally me through his whole scene going 'oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez' on repeat.

so off topic but i kind of like the hairstyle they have for most of the guys in this show?? idk is that weird

oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez uther dying

like, i HATe him. i've been waiting for this since season 1 but this scene makes me sad

ok i don't remember the last episode of merlin so i forget what arthur says when he's dying in merlin's arms??

it's something like 'hold me' right? i feel like that has the same energy as 'stay with me' so while i can't exactly say this is sort of parallel, it's sort of parallel?

i mean, ok 1. dying in someone else's arms. 2. dying in the arms of someone you love? romantically, platonically, familial? doesn't matter. both uther and arthur died in the arms of someone they loved. 3. i'm just gonna say 'hold me' and 'stay with me' have the SAME energy, so if no one has called semi-parallels, i'm calling semi-parallels

bradley's single tear

stfu agarvaine. i'm serious. legit everytime he shows up i wanna pow pow pow him

legit. agaravaine needs to get away from morgana.

DO NOT GRAB HER ARM MISTER. LET GO OF HER

I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH HER. LET GO OF HER RN

i've said it once and i'll say it again, i love gwen

not to romanticize death or anything but i like candle light vigils.

ok maybe slightly symbolic but probably not? ok actually i think it is, not to toot my own horn but this is also just really straightforward too.

arthur wearing 'street garb' and his 'knight stuff' sort of differentiates between 'arthur' and 'prince arthur'. the scene where merlin and arthur are looking over the vigil and merlin's talking about how there's nothing that can be done, and arthur mentions using magic, i may be off about this but i feel like he's speaking more from prince arthur rather than arthur, uther is my father.

like of course arthur's hurting, everyone knows he's hurting. but idk. i feel like he feels like he's not ready to be king. he needs more time, and he can't be king yet. so therefore, prince arthur is talking about needing to save their king.

gaius and merlin are both right here. idk what else to say.

wow merlin 'you can't stop me' love that

jeez 'maybe this is my chance to change that' little do you know what's happening soon merlin.

oh shoot.

arthur asking merlin if he would use magic to save his father? i'm just thinking back to merlin crying, but not crying over balinor because he couldn't tell arthur, and merlin having to mourn his father in secret. vs. arthur, asking merlin for advice. sharing all his worries and insecurities with gwen. begging gaius to do something more for his father. this just makes me so sad

arthur TRUSTING merlin. with everything. taking merlin's opinion on things and aw

this is dumb but tbh i really like merlin's outfit. like tbh i think i dress in the same sort of style, just ✨modern✨ sadly, no neckerchief for me but i do have a necklace that says 'heather' despite my name being 'ashley'. ily conan gray

ugh. arthur calling merlin a coward but also calling him brave?? you need to pick a side arthur

LMAO ARTHUR STOP THINKING ABOUT WATCHING MERLIN PEE

bruh arthur breaking the vase. it's so dumb but merlin referring to the vase over and over actually makes me chuckle

ok merlin going 'you have come to kill me?' reminds me of another show but i can't remember but i thought i'd put it out here anyways

oh shoot i just realized/remember that uther got stabbed on arthur's birthday. hell of a gift am i right 😭

hehe arthur 'sweeping' with the broom. silly goose

dragoon sounds so vulnerable asking for the right to use magic freely

i love you arthur. this scene, i'm like YES. arthur i love him

i love the saying 'my word'. like, i don't want people to promise me anything anymore. i want them to give me their word.

HAHA THIS IS SO DUMB. MERLIN SAYING 'QUESTIONS. SO MANY QUESTIONS'. I LITERALLY SAY IT WITH THE SHOW EVERY TIME. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME

aw arthur just sitting there with the cup and trying not to break it HAHA he's so sweet. slightly scared after that vase yk what i mean

ok i don't like morgana and everything but that necklace? that's a stroke of genius. yes girl. make up the plan as you go along

frick you agarvaine. do not scare gwen you PERV

jeez agarvainewas SO rude putting that necklace onto uther. like yes, ik you don't like him but STILL. that's just rude

i'm going to start calling people toads now

hehe arthur closing his door and merlin being right there. it's not necessarily a trope but it totally is and i love it

ah yes. merlin and the tavern. i feel like it's been referred to before but it's still funny.

ok ik arthur carrying merlin is there for kicks for the kids but i laughed anyways

apparently i have the humor of a 10 year old

this is really dumb but the scene with arthur and the two guards. i'm just thinking 'how tall are these guards'. ofc ik that the staging/perception could be doing something that might be making arthur look shorter, but my first reaction was 'bradley is 6' just how tall are these guards??'

merlin's speech about magic makes me sad

aw 'i hope, one day, that you'll see me in a different light'

dragoon has the same effect on arthur as merlin does

uther waking up 😭

AW. UTHER'S LITTLE SIGH AND THEN 'ARTHUR' BREAK MY HEART COVEY. BREAK IT A THOUSAND TIMES.

they're both so happy. this makes me so sad now. oh jeez. oh jeez. oh jeez

oh jeez oh jeez merlin's expression. AW merlin gave arthur his word. oh jeez this is very stressful and i'm only watching this

ok obviously. merlin doesn't want to see arthur in pain. but ALSO this was merlin's chance to change things once and for all. and now uther is dead. #no liam just payne

arthur's face post crying. skf;aldjfa;ldk AW

frick you agarvaine. literally die. i can't wait for merlin to kill you

i think this scene is pretty. the light on the left and the dark on the right? ok actually, i'm going to be making an off base comparison now because that's all i do.

i'm remembering this post i saw on here and it was like, arthur uther and morgana in the throne room. in order of the way they sit in the throne room, first it's arthur, uther, and then morgana

well. the really dumb and off base comparison here is the 'light' goodness of arthur and the 'dark' evil of morgana being mirrored in the picture above.

'light', bravery, doing what's right- being on the left. 'dark', evil, power on the right- and arthur in the middle of it, king

like i said, it's a dumb off base comparison, but at least the picture is pretty

oh jeez this scene

my heart breaks for both of them

merlin not being able to form a sentence at first.

😭😭😭😭 arthur please. you're breaking everyone's heart right now

you already knew i had to include this scene

arthur walking in there all alone

oh jeez he's all alone

dumb parallel number 2. arthur walking into the throne room with uther, father and son. merlin and gaius closing the door for arthur- pseudo father and pseudo son.

'he'll never know who i really am'

i want to do a DEH post soon but jeez. the line that hits hardest for me in DEH is 'i never let them see the worst of me. cause what if everyone saw? what if everyone knew? would they like what they saw? or would they hate it too? and jeez that's all i can think about when i think about merlin and his secrets

again. no liam, just payne

asldkfja;sldkfjas dlf merlin waiting for arthur

i have so many feelings

i love the show of affections for his father. you already know that uther wasn't affectionate when arthur was growing up, but still. forehead kiss? i love it

I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FEEL THAT YOU WERE ALONE. i hate this and love this so much. i'm not saying merlin is completely selfless, because merlin wants magic to be leagalized and arthur is the way to do that. but omg merlin not wanting for arthur to feel like he's alone breaks me

first, merlin being physically alone while waiting for arthur. arthur was technically alone too, but he was with his father

but also, merlin being alone in the sense of his magic. no one knows except for gaius. lancelot knew and then they killed him. merlin is so alone when it comes to his magic, and morgana's enchantment only pushes merlin into his 'magic shell' more. arthur thinks magic is pure evil, and merlin is made of magic. what does that mean would think of arthur. this hurts me so much i'm so sad

friend 😭

arthur asking if he's hungry and them getting breakfast together

ok this sound track

pendragon red. i actually stan

gwen wearing a purple dress?? color symbolism?? nah i'm over thinking

ASIFA;SDLFJAD HE'S KING OF CAMELOT

IT'S LIKE I WANT TO CRY BECAUSE I'M SO PROUD RIGHT NOW.

oh jeez oh jeez.

and merlin saying 'long live the king' at the end of the episode?

chills

Anyways! I’ll be back next week to rant more about aithusa so I’ll see you then! thanks I love you bye

[hakuryuu]

All for circumstance and fortune if that’s not too much, I wanna know Everything

SORRY THIS TOOK ME ALL DAY AAHHH

CIRCUMSTANCE

their voice: it's soft and medium-pitched. he doesn't usually raise his voice above speaking level even if he's agitated

their smile: he usually does a closed-mouth smile, it's hard to get him to grin with his teeth! but even his little smiles are usually genuine, since he's not the type to fake smile

their greatest achievement: he's something of a prodigy in the order and he's really talented and innovative with the lady's gifts

their insecurities: he's always worried about getting in trouble because despite often getting in trouble he's very unwilling to stray from the things he wants to do, so he's always trying to like.....fit his own desires into the framework of what he's supposed to be doing? and he's always a little uneasy about that because he knows he's supposed to be the order's golden child

their shortcomings: imdnfndndnf he's SO like........rigid?? that's not quite right and neither is stubborn, i described him as unbending and i think that's the closest? he's very much not the kind of person to be deviated from a path or way of thinking, not because he refuses to be swayed but just because he's so singleminded. he's also kind of naive and unsuspicious but luckily for him his tunnel vision makes him harder to manipulate. also he's. kinda lazy. fhfngndnf

how they deal with grief: outwardly he shuts down and powers through it, but it makes him prone to just like crying at random times and he also will become more emotionally withdrawn and prone to trying to do stuff by himself. if he's allowed to exercise by himself while he's grieving he'll sometimes go too hard and hurt himself

how they like to dress: he likes loose unrestricting clothing when he's not wearing his vestments because he is, unfortunately, a jock. he probably wears dresses a fair amount, but he also likes loose tank tops and shorts, that kind of thing

what they like to eat: he likes salty foods like grilled fish and he likes soups!

their theme: if the question is thematic arc i'm still hammering that out but his theme song is natsukage by KEY

their fashion sense: he really likes bold patterns and interesting fabrics despite his own tendency to wear plain neutral colors most of the time

their family life: he loves his mom and his little brother!!! him and fortune are close (both emotionally and in age) so they spend a lot of time together. their mom is a [term for luck-bearing person] while they're both [luck-using people] so they don't spend as much time with her, but they try to have meals with her at least once a week and they see her around the order with some regularity. the order isn't small but it also isn't super big so mostly everyone knows each other and it has that kind of familial aspect

their romantic life: he gets hopeless crushes on cute boys but never actually enjoys being around them fhsjdngndnf or like does enjoy being around them but in the same way you like being around people you're friends with. he's never actually dated anyone and he's never met anyone he's wanted to like actively chase after, but he does get a fair amount of confessions from people who like aloof-looking prettyboys

their embarrassing memory from years ago: when circumstance was little the room he shared with fortune was such a mess that once in the middle of the night a pile of his stuff collapsed onto fortune's bed and buried him and they had to get a bunch of adults to excavate him. fortune has never let him live this down

how they react to burning their tongue on food: sticks his tongue out, maybe does a small "ah", immediately goes to get an ice cube on it

how they react to a brainfreeze: that gif of paul rudd in front of a computer going "oh shit!!!" and closing his eyes really tight

their dreams: he dreams of a day when the order's outposts are connected more firmly and he can travel between them more often

their ambitions: he wants to discover new applications of the lady's gift!

how they sleep: face down upside down on the bed so his feet are on the pillow. he usually wakes up one or two times a night unless he's really tired

their reaction to betrayal: he'd search desperately for a reason to forgive or excuse them, and then afterwards he would just be sad

their reaction to a mystery love letter: fgdhjfj probably unfazed.....if whoever sent it approaches him he'll kindly let them down but if there's no sender name then he won't do anything about it

how they react to pain: a hiss through the teeth unless he's around fortune or his mom AND it's not a big deal in which case he's a huge baby and wants to be coddled

what they're like on two hours of sleep: imfngndndnf he functions poorly on no sleep so he always feels really normal and rational internally but from the outside he doing really dumb stuff, like how when you're drunk you think nobody can tell but it's super obvious

how they act when they're sick: whiny and dramatic, if he has a cold he Is dying. if he gets some kind of stomach bug or a bad flu though he just becomes a zombie until it's over because he hates it so much

what motivates them: he's really motivated by the order's job (balance of luck, that kind of thing) because he knows it's important job

why you enjoy them: that;s my son...i really enjoy how like gentle and mothering he is sghsnfnfndf

FORTUNE

their voice: an upbeat kind of husky voice, clear with coarse edges

their smile: big bright grin! he's an expressive boy so you can almost always see what's happening on his face

their greatest achievement: every time he outshines circ it feels like an achievement to him. also once he cooked a big dinner for the order and it went off perfectly

their insecurities: he's got a bit of an inferiority complex abt circ being better at using the lady's gifts....he's also a little insecure about how slowly his hair grows. the people at the order are always telling him how well he follows rules compared to circ but he's always sure they're just saying it to make him feel better

their shortcomings: he's envious and a little mistrustful....he has a lot of trouble not comparing himself to others (Esp Circ) and seeing where he falls short instead of where he excels in comparison. he's also got a lot of drive and not very much place to put it which results in him being unnecessarily competitive about Everything

how they deal with grief: it ferments very quickly into bitterness if he doesn't talk with anyone about it, he also tends to get angrier and pick fights when he's going through stuff

how they like to dress: very similar fashion style to circumstance (they steal each other's clothes sometimes) but he tends towards more long-sleeved shirts. he finds the underlayers of the vestments pretty comfy. both him and circ are pretty into big jackets and straw sandals as well

what they like to eat: he likes light cold foods, like a bagel or some cucumber slices or stuff like that

their theme: rever's edge (b-6) by the pillows

their fashion sense: he likes loud color blocked stuff but doesn't like stuff with patterns on it

their family life: he's super close with his brother & fairly close with his mom + he's so generally cheerful & outgoing that he's kind of the equivalent of that classmate that everyone likes

their romantic life: running joke that he should be [a luck-bearer] bc his luck w relationships is so bad (mostly unrequited crushes, a handful of breakups: he tends to put people on a pedestal and it causes problems)

their embarrassing memory from years ago: he once got an important visiting member of the order's birthday wrong and threw them a surprise party on the wrong day....it went fine but he's mortified every time he thinks of it

how they react to burning their tongue on food: AGHHH HOT HOT HOT, accepts the ice cube circ is already handing to him while also flipping circ off because he Is laughing

how they react to a brainfreeze: goes fetal, shoves the pad of his thumb against the roof of his mouth as fast as possible

their dreams: he daydreams about being a famous chef

their ambitions: he's very ambitious!!! i don't know enough about how the order works to explain what his ambitions are!!! help!!

how they sleep: worlds SLOPPIEST sleeper, he knocks out immediately and stays asleep through hell and high water, mouth open + drooling + starfished at a weird angle across the bed w at least one limb hanging off + at least one pillow is on the floor every morning. if you put a cat on his chest he will wake up immediately

their reaction to betrayal: jovial resignation that masks hurt and anger & you will find him in the gym hitting a punching bag at 1am

their reaction to a mystery love letter: he'll think about it all day and go around asking everyone if they sent it (but is really casual and jokey about it because if this is a prank someone is pulling on him then god dammit they are not gonna get a reaction)

how they react to pain: if he gets a minor/sudden injury he gets Angry and then has to tamp that down, bigger or duller hurts he bears with aplomb and tries not to think about it. he lets circ fuss over him because it makes him feel cared for even though externally he acts like he hates it

what they're like on two hours of sleep: HUGE kid at a sleepover at 1am energy (bro......do you think pigeons have feelings???) + he gets super weepy

how they act when they're sick: he doesn't get sick very often but when he does he knocks out for one to three days depending on severity of illness and then is perfectly fine. circ, who once had a head cold that lasted a month, will never forgive him for this

what motivates them: he wants to be good at a lot of stuff (versatility!!) and get praised

why you enjoy them: he's a good boy!!

[elijahfitz]

and introduction.

meet elijah.

hey guys! im lina! im 18 and im in the cst timezone. im currently a freshman in college and ive also been rping for like 6 years now ( i started on the neopets chat boards. if thats not an embarrassing fun fact idk what is ) but i havent rped since this summer since school was and still is kicking my ass. im really into musical theater, marvel & dc, and disney! i also used to be a lifeguard at a great wolf lodge for 2 years so if u want any funny stories about stupid children, or even just wanna be friends, lmk! im also SUPER sorry this intro is so late. i was gonna do it yesterday but then my friends wanted to hang and it kinda went downhill from there. im actually posting this like 20 min before i have a lab practical so i wont be able to reply until late tonight, but like this post to plot or anything!

some fun facts abt elijah:

he was adopted when he was around 3-4? he was abandoned and left on the back of a merchant cart headed to corona, where he was then discovered and then put into the local orphanage since no one was sure where he came from or who left him. all he had was a stuffed bear (named wooly), a basket of water and fruits to eat, and a letter that explained that:

his name was elijah

he was 2 (born on february 28th)

his parents couldnt care for him, so they hoped he would be found by a kind soul who could either take care of and love him, or else get him to someone who could

they loved him and only left him in the hopes that he would have a better life

he lived in the orphanage for almost 2 years and the few months before the 2nd anniversary of his arrival, rapunzel & eugene visited the orphanage that eugene grew up in and fell in love w/ eli, promptly adopting him soon after. he barely remembers anything about his abandonment and time in the orphanage, but always wanted to find his birth parents and let them know how he turned out. he kept the bear and basket in his room but carries the letter around with him in his wallet wherever he goes.

his full name is elijah frederic fitzherbert. he was given the middle name frederic in honor of his grandfather.

but, he much rather prefers eli. doesnt mind formalities but insists on people who know him to call him by his nickname. except he HATES being called “highness” bc he thinks it sounds stupid. he wont get upset per se if u keep referring to him as “your highness” but he will get annoyed

he very much wants to fulfill his role as “corona’s golden boy” by contributing back to his people. he worries for the kingdom more than he worries for himself and is always trying to prove that he is worthy of being a prince rather than just some random kid who got lucky enough to get adopted. most of his days are spent doing modest favors and helping out the townspeople or visiting the villages surrounding the kingdom.

when he’s in the castle you can almost always find him in the kitchen! boi loves to bake and cook. he loves the way food can bring joy to everyone. he often makes goods to give to the townspeople or the kids at the orphanage, where he volunteers at least every 2 weeks when hes not busy w prince stuff.

has an acute fear of disappointment. he feels so much pressure to prove his worth that came from growing up thinking if he did anything wrong he’d be sent back to orphanage, esp since his parents had another child. they wouldn’t want or need him anymore. he mostly got over this when he broke a vase when he was 12 and tried to run away from home, except he fell out the tree that he used to climb out his window and broke his leg lmao. his parents assured him that no matter what he did they would still love him and never abandon him, and his dad also taught him how to climb trees and roofs without dying (much to his mom’s chagrin). even tho hes pretty much over it, it kinda lingers subconsciously. thus, he overcompensates in everything he does and gets overly anxious about small problems

growing up he thought the stories that his dad told him about his past were so cool, despite the fact that he would almost always only hear those stories when he was being taught lessons of what he shouldnt do. he used to run around pretending to be flynn rider and his dad played along, planning play heists for them to do together (think scott & cassie in that one scene from ant man and the wasp) but they stopped when eli hit that age where he thought it was embarrassing to play w his dad. but, it really helped him bond w eugene and help him work on his coordination bc eli is CLUMSY AF

eli legit trips over nothing at least twice a day.

he bonded w his mom through art tho, which eventually turned into aesthetic desserts and meals! thats another reason why he loves baking and cooking so much.

when his 1st sibling was born when he was 5 at first he was jealous. he didnt get much attention at the orphanage due to the fact that there were so many kids and he was just starting to get used to the idea of having parents didnt have tons of kids always trying to win their affection and attention. he thought having a little sibling was the worst thing in the world and would hide from his parents bc if they couldnt find him they couldnt send him away. he hated his sibling.

until he met them. the second he saw their chubby face he was hooked. he swore that he would do anything and everything for them. and that continued when his parents adopted his other siblings as well. he absolutely adores them and acts like the protective older bro role

thankfully, with such a large age gap eli never rlly had to go through any of those petty squabbles that siblings usually have. he was always pretty protective of them tho and would fight when he thought they were being reckless and dumb out of his own fear that if they got hurt he would be an awful big brother (again, fear of disappointment)

he loves to travel bc his mom would always take him to these extravagant kingdoms and on these amazing sightseeing trips

this boy is hopeless when it comes to love. i can imagine lots of ppl liking him on top of all the ppl throwing themselves at him bc royal, but him being completely oblivious and thinking that no one likes him.

he had rlly bad ADD as a kid but its gotten better as hes grown. he still occasionally struggles w executive functioning tho and always gets rlly frustrated when he cant focus or remember

like i said earlier, clumsy af. no coordination. the only athletic ability he ever had was horse riding and running

that said he has a horse named may (short for mayonnaise. dont ask

he likes music a lot. prob learned piano at a young age

he probably is at the party bc royals? idk

EDIT: although (currently) unknown to eli, his true birth mother is maleficent. when eli was 2, his birth father took him away from her and had her suppress eli’s natural born powers. his father realized he was unfit to care for him, so he was the one who abandoned eli.

wanted connections!!

obv his parents and siblings? i mean cmon

one ( or both???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) of his birth parents!!!!! they dont have to know that eli is their son or mayb they do and are too scared to tell him, but being trapped together will eventually make it revealed

childhood friends! people he met when he traveled w his mom or met at royal social functions? i rlly also want friends that he would hang w at all the royal galas and stuff and they would go do dumb stuff like look sneak out and look for secret passages of make bets of who could dump more crab cakes into the stuffy duchess’ purse when she wasnt looking

people who know him solely through his family

someone who likes eli and eli legit has no clue, no matter how much they flirt and drop hints

people who hate eli! or even just dislike him, which makes him upset bc he doesnt like the idea that there are ppl who dont like him in the world. mayb bc sometimes he gets super highstrung when things arent going how they should b and he like lashed out at them once or something. maybe they hate his parents and on principle hate him. idk

someone who was w eli in the orphanage

past relationships? i feel like hes never rlly had a bad breakup tho, its just that they prob just didnt work out. hes also bi so they can b any gender. hes still looking for his otp

idk, legit anything. send me those plots man

[zepdeans]

this is highkey like a month late (i mean wbk im a chronic scatterbrain procrastinator) and she’s thicccc but without further ado. my skam s4 thoughts.

I first just want to say a couple things: im not a muslim woc so my thoughts on s4 don’t hold as much value as those of a muslim, woc, or a muslim woc. I also don’t know to what degree sana’s representation was true to real life. I made an effort to look for posts from muslim woc on sana’s season but to no real avail, especially given it’s been two years since skam ended and a lot of blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or posts have become buried :( [if you know of any good posts regarding sana’s season please lmk!]. from what I can recall in 2017, there were mixed opinions on s4 with most being upset (or at least disappointed) with the ultimate execution of sana’s storyline and I agree w that. while s4 means so much to me and has a really special place in my heart, I do 100% acknowledge its flaws. ok!!!!!! lets get into it😤

ep1 -as much as I wished isak stayed in kollektivet I’m glad he and even had a rlly sweet happy time this entire season. also evak making their friends move all their furniture while they whisper romantic shit to each other and makeout? peak comedy -you fuckin wish!!! -sana is the one to say “of course you should tell noora about william”.. she Knew and still takes the fall for it :( -this opening clip is such a jarring shift into sana’s pov!! e.g. while easy to overlook in previous seasons, sana’s exclusion from the girls is glaringly obvious once we’re looking through her eyes -adding onto that! sana is the friend who notices everyone else- she’s so observant, which hurts even more when you notice her friends don’t do the same (except mayhaps chris- in my heart of hearts I know chris is also the friend who notices and goes unnoticed, but unfortunately we don’t get enough of her and sana’s relationship this season to fully see that) -yousef and the balloon squad’s entrance.... ICONIC! also I cant believe for 2 seasons they presented those dickbag nissen 97s as the be all end all of hot amazing boys when the bakka third years were RIGHT THERE like,, the penetrators vs. balloon squad + even? no contest ma’am -also! it’s so interesting that we literally had no idea sana had a brother, or that yousef etc existed until now? it’s as if she has a whole private world at home, separate from her friends and nissen (and I think a theme of this season is those two worlds merging) -im obsessed w the yousana train scene but yousef being the only one who notices sana standing off to the side? ;-; -fy faen is such a stunning clip oh my god. when sana leaves to pray? possibly my favourite skam scene ever. it’s exquisite.  -sana is so cute and awkward squeezing thru the crowd shsdhgfhshdf I LOVE her love her -the last shot on yousef and noora... oh my GOD oh my god bc like. being that friend who never ever tells your real feelings or your crushes or is vulnerable with your friends?? and then having to listen to them talk about how good your crush would be with someone else (especially one of ur friends) while ur sitting there silently dying inside? and you don’t say anything since you can’t be vulnerable with your friends and u don’t think u stand a chance anyways so. (in the words of s3 noora. I think sana struck a nerve with the emotional unavailability! abbey r u ok) -this episode is a masterpiece and did such a phenomenal job of both introducing us to sana’s perspective while also touching on a multitude of her struggles AND establishing the themes of the season. plus the cinematography, editing, soundtrack and aesthetic...... o baby. (case in point I deadass just rewatched it after writing this)

ep2 -every shot of sana praying is beautiful (and beautifully edited!!) -sana’s room is usually messy... not smart enough to fully analyze this but I’m sure it means something  -an interesting contrast of what’s expected of her vs. of elias- I can’t speak for muslim families, but I know even in non-muslim families girls are always held to suchhh a higher standard (source: I have 2 brothers rip) -”if you find immaturity charming” hilarious bc sana actually does in fact find immaturity charming  -what’s interesting is how noora comes across in sana’s POV- kinda obnoxious, kinda ignorant, seemingly perfect (compared to how noora is portrayed in eva’s season, for example) -even is one of those ppl who uses the bill gates argument on why dropping out of school makes u richer sdfhfsjskfjfsd -sana staring down the pepsi max squad. fuck em up. -vilde adding magnus to the groupchat jfkjsjfdjfsfsdkj -isak missing eskild :’) sidenote I fucking live for isak and sana’s chats this season. they’re literally my lifeblood like.... 

ep3 -the kiss me scene god I go FERAL -“you need to pull it towards you, not push it away. okay?” yall mind if i SCREAM!! YOUSEF!!!!!!!!!! -there rlly is something about seeing sana, who in everyone else’s POV comes off as cold and harsh and stoic, just absolutely meltinggg when she talks w yousef like she doesn’t stop smiling she’s so sweet!!!! ah🥰 and yousef is 100% that guy who ppl tell “your gf is so intimidating and ruthless bro” and he’s like are y’all talking about sana??????? my baby?? my fuckin cinnamon apple????? -yousef’s lil smile watching sana peel carrots. 911 it’s me again -vilde and sana’s relationship has a really interesting dynamic bc like.. vilde says ignorant shit to sana while also genuinely looking up to her. and sana is probably the harshest to vilde within the group but it’s because she actually values their friendship a lot  -IM HURT BECAUSE YOU NEVER REPLIED TO MY MEME -sana pulling 2yr old receipts off the top of her head to defend vilde. god I stan -sana doin research taking notes..... shameful she isn’t canonically a virgo (honestly her and isak both but like-) -she’s so soft and smiley w her mamma awh... “of course he likes you, who doesn’t like you?” her mamma only knows the real, gentle, beautiful loving sana oh im CRY -even is so kind and loving and thoughtful yall mind if i....... -”you can’t escape the internet girl” foreshadowing mayhaps?

ep4 -david and ulrikke together are fucking hilarious -noora’s “you’re lucky you don’t have to think about this stuff, heartbreak and that” :/ it’s not just vilde who says ignorant things to sana! -that being said sana and noora are cute asf in the exper5 scene.. dorky noora rise (omg josefine and her yogurt in the bloopers too sjhfkjdf) -I HANDLE BALLS BETTER THAN YOU -the yousana scene is sooo gorgeous whew...... -I always cry a lil bit (ok a lot) when yousef brings up even. and sana knew too. even sweetie ily :( -sana talking about her religion is beautiful. it’s so lovely to learn about how she thinks and sees the world. -yousef’s smile watching sana leave like ur kidding right....... -“flawless since 99″ is so cringey. it’s so cringeyyy -sana uses “smh” I knew we were soulmates

ep5 -eavesdropping on ur parent/brother’s argument is peak sibling culture -when ur always paranoid but ur always right..... -sana’s green jumpsuit sign me up babey -I really really really love elias and sana’s conversation -u dont even realize how tiny sana is until she’s standing next to isak and even -not finding out why yousef avoided the fight and why he kissed noora will haunt me forever (could we not have expanded more on that instead of noorhelm.......) -the parallel of sana washing isak’s blood off her hands vs. her washing her hands during maghrib in episode 1. gotta sit down. -vilde gossiping to the pepsimax girls stings SO bad it’s just such a betrayal?:( -“the other girls seem cool, especially noora! she’s so pretty!” ok much to unpack here but: sana again comparing herself to noora (who she sees as /perfect/)... sana being written off despite putting so much effort and passion into the russ bus while noora, who has done literally nothing and at best is indifferent to russ, is the one they like the most. disgusteng -love will tear us apart.. bitch..... -sana abt to cry god I can’t -if sana is anything like me (I mean I think she is but jkjjkhsdfhfsd). looking stupid is the absolute worst so like, her sending out emails abt being bus boss when she was actually being lied to? being played? and her being “paranoid” about sara being shady, but deciding hey maybe im just being crazy? except she wasn’t she was right and she Knew!! and she’s probably thinking how dumb it was for her to get her hopes up, everything always ends badly anyways and no one actually likes her :((((((( -dont rlly know what my feelings are on the fight. im not against it bc isak does have a temper but his apparent motive always seemed weak to me?? and god I feel so bad for even

ep6 -forgot about sana getting bullied in middle school yall mind if I sob?? -sana lying and getting defensive bc it’s hard to be vulnerable, or because she hates looking stupid? or both?:( -isak looking up dandelions in his textbook just bc even put one behind his ear. I HATE this man -sana’s dad asking if she had a bad day aw :( -all the boys (and sana) wearing black but yousef wearing white.... what does it mean.............. -the carrots are back goddammit -radio station playing during this scene: “if I have to choose between the just non-muslim and the unjust muslim, without any doubt I would choose the non-muslim who is just” -ISAK’S NOSE SFFJDFJFSDKJSDF -sana’s text about chris I’m going to bawl my eyes out.           “yeah! looking forward (to going to nissen) but a bit worried. don’t know               anyone else starting there.”           (J: new friends?) “yes, at least one of them. I have german with her (chris)           and she’s very cool!” -the contrast of how blunt sana came off when we’re first introduced to her vs. how she was really just excited to make a new friend bc she was scared no one would like her :( especially knowing her past with bullying and how nervous she was to start at nissen? chris baby I LOVE YOU thank u ;-; -also sana keeping 2yr old conversations on her phone... same -sana is honestly too smart and scheming and overthinking for her own good. she has these elaborate plans that more-or-less always get ruined by her being more kind than she gives herself credit for (e.g. wanting to protect vilde in s1, clearing isak’s name in s4) -everyone in skam texts back so fast smh -chris calling sana “sonic”...... a moment please -I cannot watch the sana/evak apartment scene without thinking of the bloopers and losing it lmfaoooo.. “this is where we live. just come in” -ik it’s based off fanart but there is little I hate more than their matching outfits  -“remember you’re both geniuses!” 🥺even  -once again isak studying is uhhhh me - “you’re a good person” yall i love isak i really do. he puts his foot in his mouth pretty often and doesn’t have a great brain-to-mouth filter and he can be awkward and rambly and blunt and unsure of what to say in emotional situations but also? he’s so genuine. it’s just his honest thoughts and he says it bc he cares about sana and knows she needs to hear it!! -ᶠᵃᵉⁿ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ -sana’s inner turmoil.. thank u iman for inventing acting (ik I haven’t mentioned it much yet but god iman is SUCH a phenomenal actor I owe her my life) -LETS GO BITCHES

ep7 -sana crying silently in her room breaks my fucking heart (IMAN!!!!)  -idk how I feel about the instagram plot but sana watching as her plan falls into place and then storming up to sara... pretty bada$$ -“it’s creepy it was published but it’s more creepy we have a bus boss who talks shit about everyone” THANK YOU vilde -i love s4 isak thanks -sana and jamilla’s chat aw :~) -how awkward do yall think the walk to the bench was lmfao -what sana tells isak is SO powerful and I love it a lot -isak does actually make a good point- the other girls are like that too.  -unfortunately I have been in situations isak describes, where you want to learn more about your friend’s culture or religion because you care about them and you’re genuinely interested, but you don’t know what questions are okay to ask and you don’t want to sound rude or ignorant, so you ultimately end up asking no questions at all. but I hate that the responsibility is put on sana to constantly educate people bc I cannot imagine how exhausting that must be [[[ok so. I know there are VERY mixed opinions on the bench scene but here’s my dumbass two cents. 1- I genuinely think isak was trying to make sana feel better by attempting to relate to her and pass on advice that really helped him. however, I don’t think isak realized what sana eventually told him- that her experience wearing the hijab is a lot different than isak’s experience as a gay man. do I agree with everything isak said? nooo. do I understand why he said it? yeah. 2- it was not isak’s place to tell sana norwegians aren’t racist, or not to look for racism in questions. I think there’s some truth to ppl often just being ignorant, and he does add that there are probably a lot of racist people in Norway, but yeah. not great. 3- in conclusion I think while isak shared some meaningful advice w sana, he put his foot in his mouth too and said some stupid shit. im not trying to defend that. I will add, though: a. we actually do see some growth on isak’s part. when he and even are yelled at on the street, that’s the moment it clicks for him that oh shit, this is what sana was talking about. this is what she has to experience? and that’s why he texts noora, “in the speech for sana, you have to include how insanely strong she is. I don’t think many people understand how much bullshit she has to take” and b. isak’s (bad) advice of “not looking for the racism in things” is ultimately contrasted by yousef (a moc who lived most of his life as a muslim) suggesting instead to show people what islam really is. and that’s so much more meaningful. I think the root of a lot of the issues isak brought up- i.e. ignorance- is a general lack of education, representation, or effort by non-muslim people to seek out information themselves. so sana leading by example and showing what it means to her to be muslim is so much more powerful.]]] -𝒃𝒂𝒎!  -BEST BUDS 🥺

ep8 -haper du har plass weaving in and out of this episode until the chorus finally breaks when the los losers van shows up...... miss julie 😭 -oh my god the pictures. im a fucking MESS bc they’re not only significant to the scene and to sana but also like,, as part of our goodbye to the girls?? -the balloon squad and even :( while the timeline of them reconciling within just this week is kinda wack, seeing even back with his friends looking so happy makes my heart uwu so i’ll allow it just this once -eva’s message to vilde about her and magnus being able to trust each other w/o reading their texts... growth or irony -chris is such a phenomenal friend (and this is why I wanted more of her in s4!!) -sana’s phonecall to the girls breaks my fucking heart bc like. right off the bat she’s finally being vulnerable with them?? telling them about her fears and insecurities and struggles? typing this im gonna start crying lol but god I love her so much. she’s so brave and she put all that on the line bc all she really cares about are her friends, she loves them SO much even if (she thinks) they don’t love her back -lowkey sobbed so hard during the haper du har plass clip I almost threw up and it gave me a headache :)  -anyways this is one of my favourite skam clips and god just. the moment you hear the girls calling for sana??? I LOSE it. when sana just starts BEAMING omg🤧 the girls love sana and support her and if you fuck with sana you fuck with us!!!!!! god. cannot articulate how dear to my heart this scene is. -haper du har plass feels like the end of the episode and the party clip is kinda just tacked on but I love how happy everyone is!! they’re all drinking champagne (who taught isak how to hold things) and dancing and smilingggg 💛 -yousana rise!!!!!!!!  -ok don’t get me wrong I hate william for crashing the party but their entrance slow-mo kinda slaps.... also sana popping up in between noorhelm SENDS me

ep9 -this is the point in the season where the amount of time dedicated to noorhelm is beyond beyond beyond significantly damaging to the story. this is sana’s last episode!! instead of having them makeout in front of william’s car for 20 minutes mayhaps we could’ve had a conversation between the girls and sana, or with her brother (if they had continued the elias alcoholism plotline rip), or maybe even with jamilla or her mamma? like I don’t care at ALL about noora or william. give me anything else. ple a s e -what makes skam scenes so brilliant is their quiet moments!! julie let the scene breathe. not everything needs a tacky song playing over top. -I’ve said this abt like twenty clips now but MAGHRIB. oh my GOD. an absolute masterpiece and definitely tied for my all time favourite skam clip. can’t rlly put into words how stunning it is. & I love sana and yousef’s conversation so much. -“of course I brought food! my name is yousef!” mr. acar you’re the only man I trust

ep10 -as much as my heart yearns for 10 sana episodes I think splitting up the last episode of skam into individual POV clips for different characters was brilliant and such a poignant way to say goodbye :( -okay don’t think about what sana could’ve written in her texts to everyone or ur heart will go sicko mode -I won’t write anything abt this ep since I’ve already written too much but like.. (elias should’ve gotten a clip instead of william. pchris can stay because his clip was funny but he’s on thin fuckin ice) -kjaere sana was such a beautiful way to say goodbye to skam. so yeah. bye skam. i miss you. 

overall ➔I’m not really sure why (possibly a lethal combination of my undying love for sana bakkoush, how much I relate to her, this but my ass was crying EVERY single episode of season 4...... F ➔I’m obsessed with s4′s aesthetic. imo the best editing, soundtrack and cinematography of any season!!!! julie is so talented at making each season feel distinct- to me, sana’s season is cool, vibrant colours (aka the late-night sunset aesthetic- gabie i hear u laughing shut up), crisp electronic/pop music and rap, ethereal city nights..... also sana has the best style of any skam character it had to be said ➔sana’s growth! seeing her open up and be honest and vulnerable with the girls during that phone call. sana sending all of her friends literally the sweetest messages of how much they mean to her and how much she values their relationship. sana being the (MUCH) bigger person and making amends with sara, ingrid etc. I love her so much :’((( ➔I’ve thought a lot about what I would change in season 4 and honestly? im a mf scatterbrain and have no real, structured ideas. my biggest issue is too much noora. dream s4 would be william staying in london and noora being happy on her own (but not rly on her own bc she has the girls and kollektivet!). as :/ as I am about the noora/yousef plotline, I’m not really sure what I’d do to replace the yousana conflict in ep5. maybe involving elias, or the balloon squad and even? related to that- in lieu of all the noora/noorhelm screentime, I would so much rather have a follow-up plot to elias’s drinking problem bc it was kinda just dropped? at the very least, the william clip should’ve been elias’s. I also would've killed for more one-on-one scenes with chris (even vilde or eva!), jamilla, even, members of the balloon squad... there are so many interesting stories that could’ve been explored instead of going down the noorhelm rabbithole again. furthermore, I feel like the social media plot was a bit... weak? again I’ve tried thinking of what I would’ve done instead (while also keeping the haper du har plass clip, y’all can pry that one from my cold dead hands) to little avail. what especially threw me about this plotline is that sana did this in s2 to jamilla, fucked up, and it bit her in the ass. I know that she gets irrational when angry but from a storytelling perspective, it seems repetitive. just.. I feel like there could’ve been a more powerful plot in which sana follows the same character arc. another thing I would’ve loved to see is beyond the los losers van, an apology from the girls to sana. or even just a conversation where they tell her “hey sana, we’re sorry for not paying attention and we’re sorry for being thoughtless/ignorant.” an apology from vilde about things she’s said in the past would’ve been <3. even a gesture! the girls order pizza again but this time it’s halal, or they make an effort to learn about sana’s religion and culture. I know it’s implied through the letter they write for sana, but a final standalone scene would’ve been so nice.  ➔i’ve noticed soo many remakes do this thing where they like.. water down shitty behaviour of their characters. which like- sure. I would love for everyone to be kind and thoughtful and not as horrible as they could be but also... I think that’s the point of skam? to show that people fuck up, but that doesn’t define them as a person. no one is perfect and no one can be thoughtful and considerate and kind all the time. and often these ‘problematic’ actions are integral to the story- e.g. elias saying stupid comments to isak (related to isak’s internalized homophobia and fear of coming out to his friends), the girl squad being ignorant about what sana can eat, etc. so..... your remake is not better because it erased every horrible action every character has done. (nuance.. where r u.........) ➔despite its flaws, I will say- the good moments of season 4? ineffable. I think we sometimes forget that julie literally wrote, directed, and I believe (?) assisted w editing and soundtrack too. i cant imagine doing all that under so much pressure, trying to bring so many storylines to a conclusion whilst simultaneously creating a goodbye-season to a show she put her life into the past two years. I’m so fucking appreciative of her. and you know what? all in all julie wrote some pretty damn beautiful episodes and scenes, and you can tell she loves this show just as much as we do. ➔and honestly this is maybe one reason I’m more wary of watching remake s4′s, bc like.. this season meant SO much bc it was the last season of skam. we knew it was the last season. the final episode is more or less a love letter, a goodbye to the show. whereas w some remakes (do i have to say whomst) its  like.. that love isnt there. it’s just another season. yknow? in conclusion I miss skam so much :(

ok whew if ur reading this ur a champion but also why did you just read 5k of me rambling about how much I love sana bakkoush?? 

[gontagokuhara]

you should tell us abt ur fangan kids!

ive been meaning to answer this but itz long so i wanted to put it under a cut!!

hibiki (he/they) is the ultimate demolitionist! i cant draw but his design and whole aesthetic is literally just. minecraft creepercore. they’re 4′10″, they wear full-eye black contacts bc Crepper Aesthetic, and he just. likes to blow shit up. he’s the rival in my group killing game and i love him SO much

yuri (he/him) is 100% my kinnie oc as the ultimate camp counselor. despite being very good at what he does (duh), he hates it. the responsibility of having to maintain the fun and safety of a bunch of kids is shaving years off his lifespan. and, amazingly for him, he immediately gets assigned Group Dad against his will during the killing game. he also carries at least four fanny packs at all times, each containing snacks and capri suns, first aid supplies, arts and craft supplies, and a fucking tazer (which he usually threatens to use against hibiki). 

kimi (she/her) is the ultimate candy maker! her entire aesthetic is cotton candy, in which her hair is dyed blue and pink, she likes soft, puffy clothing, and she’s just a really sweet (ha) person in general! she gets along with most all of her classmates bar a few. she has lesbian disease also

miyah (she/her) is the ultimate witch, which sounds really cool, until she opens her mouth and you realize she’s the crystal-wielding, essential oil-drinking, anti vax queen you were warned about. she’s very sweet and very soft spoken, and genuinely tries to be kind to everyone, but she’s very much a you love her or hate her kind of personality.

koya (they/them) is the ultimate swashbuckler! swashbucklers are a hero archetype defined by flamboyant movement, sword-wielding, chivalry, and daring adventures. koya is a sea-faring spirit, and they fill their time in the killing game enthralling the others with stories of grandeur and convincing all of their classmates that they are a legit pirate. koya is a liar, they exaggerate…a lot, but their intentions are not malicious and their tales just come out a bit more romantic than they actually happened. they’re very charming and laid back, and they’re definitely the sort of heartthrob character that everyone wants to smooch. 

chieko (they/them) is the ultimate girl gang leader, and they are also ultimate lesbian. they’re sort of isolated from the rest of the group due to their talent being considered scary, and their very intense and intimidating appearance and personality. they’re major concern is to escape the killing game and find their way back to their girls (they say as much, which makes everyone VERY suspicious!) but they wouldnt hurt anyone and they end up becoming best friends with yuri and masako (who i’ve lovingly dubbed the parent squad of this class)

speaking of masako (she/they), she is the ultimate investigative journalist, and this killing game’s trial helper! she is very well traveled, and takes what she does very seriously. they are completely and utterly devoted to the truth, good or bad, they will find the truth. they absolutely detest koya for this reason; even little lies absolutely grind masako’s gears. she also is very distrustful, and she doesn’t trust anyone at the onset of the killing game. it takes her a long time to warm up enough to the protag to share her findings during investigations, and she often comes across as somewhat of a rival during trials due to her critical nature and the way she very blatantly does not trust those around her. nevertheless, later on she is (against her will) forced into the Parent Squad with chieko and yuri, and though she doesn’t trust anyone else, she will do everything in her power to keep more killings from happening. 

daichi (he/him) is the ultimate superhero, and he was the first dr oc i actually made!! he’s very much a pretty boy (fluffy blonde hair, pink eyes, freckles, he’s just Cute) and he and hibiki start dating during the killing game! he’s sort of a bastard and won’t give anyone a straight answer on what his superpowers actually are, but despite his kind, cheeky nature, he feels a deep sense of responsibility and guilt over not being able to do anything about the killing game. he is one of the more likely people to go snooping for the mastermind, and he’s gotten in physical fights more than once with people he deems suspicious. 

hirohito (he/him) is the ultimate joggler and he’s the greatest character of all time. what is joggling, you ask? don’t worry, he’ll tell you. i came across this while looking for talent ideas, and i laughed so hard i cried when i conceptualized this fiend. he’s very much the token joke character, he’s a hot head, and he’s kind of a dick, but the idea of hope’s peak allowing the ultimate person who can juggle and jog at the same time into their doors is just too hilarious to pass up. protag joggler 4 life

speaking of people who are kind of dicks, meet yuuto (he/him), the ultimate dancer. he’s such a hot head. he hates the most of his classmates out of any other character, including the mastermind. he’s dating the protag, who is one of like…four people he actually likes in his class. yuuto takes his talent very seriously, and spends hours every day working to maintain his status as the best of the best. his talent comes before everything else (or, at least, it did), but if his talent comes first, then the people he cares about take up every other place on the list. he doesn’t tolerate many people, but those he does, he is fiercely loyal towards. he would kill and die for the people he cares about. he is 5′2″ of pure kickass, and he will throw everything he has into defending the people he loves. i lvoe him.

michiko (she/her) is the ultimate influencer (yeah. i know). she’s an internet personality who has followings on instagram, twitter, youtube, tiktok, et cetera. she is also one of my earlier oc designs, and i’m kind of attached to her lol. she’s very naturally magnetic and has a lot of friends among her classmates, but she does have a tendency to get hung up on things like follower counts, conventional beauty, and wealth. she has a huge (mutual!) crush on koya, she’s best friends with hibiki, and she has an intense fear of swimming pools (her hair is dyed, and chlorine is way bad for dyed hair)

leeanne (she/her) is the only non-japanese character, and i. she’s a mess. she’s the ultimate theatre kid, and she’s basically every broadway tumblr user when h*milton was super popular. she complains about musical bootlegs, becries her classmates for not knowing anything about the musicals she stans, and she’s just. lord. obviously she’s a joke character, and she’s honestly a caricature of the kind of shit i got up to (to a degree! don’t call me out sdkjdsjbd) when i was 15 years old. suffice to say, none of her classmates like her very much

tomoya (he/him) is the obligatory ultimate ???, and also our trial ruiner! he earns the distrust of his entire class by keeping his talent a secret and then having it revealed by masako, and as a result he is very outcasted and lonely among his peers. he’s a naturally very reserved person, and his situation lends him to feeling very lonely. most of the class suspect him to be the mastermind – whether they’re right or not, only time will tell. 

katsumi (she/her) is 1/3 of what i’ve dubbed the Showbiz Squad as the ultimate pageant queen! she’s been participating in and winning beauty pageants since she was very young, and she’s won all the way up through the pageant ranks. as one would expect she’s very beautiful, and she’s also very bright and charismatic, which lends itself well to gaining allies in the killing game. she is by and large very fake, though, and she operates as a mini antagonist for various reasons. 

hikaru (he/him) is another third of the Showbiz Squad, as the ultimate game show host! he’s very ostentatious and charismatic; he’s always ‘on,’ always playing the gracious, enthusiastic host. there’s always a smile and a flashy, charming quip in his mouth, so he can wear very gratingly on the less enthusiastic and personable kids. he definitely would be a tumblr sexyman if he were an actual dr character {sweating emoji]. despite the crowd he seems to gather wherever he goes, no one knows much about him; and he likes to keep it that way. 

and finally, the last third of the Showbiz Squad, and also the protagonist: hachi (he/they), the ultimate child star! as their talent would indicate, hachi was a child star, and he absolutely detests the showbusiness world as a result. he really dislike pretty much…everyone who represents that part of his past (katsumi, hikaru, and michiko are prime examples) and his least favorite thing is getting the question: “omg where you in ___?” they’re very emotionally and physically fatigued by all the bullshit going on around them, so they come across as fairly apathetic to most people. but in actuality, hachi is someone who craves stability and kindness, and their extremely blunt, extremely annoyed exterior hides a very soft, compassionate interior. i absolutely adore this character :D

and umm thats it for my kids! i (for the most part?) have all of the killers/victims worked out, i have my mastermind all planned, but i’m still working on a setting/obligatory extra mono-creature/how this group falls within the dr canon. i love talking about these guys so if ur interest in them pwease send me asks/messages about them 🥺

[superemeralds]

I never understood this about Shadow, why does he even work with GUN?

*rubs my gay little hands together*

Finally it’s time for my analysis of GUN, the current GUN commander, Shadow’s relationship with both of them and speculations on the future…………..

warning: it’s actually gonna get……….. really wild. This turned out to be mainly an analysis of the GUN commander because he is the main factor that influences shadows decision but im… hoooo boy.

TLDR;

The commander is a Robotnik and the character development he went through, paired with Shadows acceptance of his judgement + forgiveness of his actions, as well as their friendly bond by the end of the game, gave Shadow the feeling that it is a good idea to join forces with GUN to keep his promise to Maria in keeping the planet safe.

( +3k words; all referenced videos and audio files are transcribed for accessibility; sources/references at the bottom)

If you have any questions or comments feel free to shoot me an ask! If you have anything to add or critique (because I’m 49320% sure i forgot half of the things i wanted to address again), feel free to add to my post!

Okay so before we can make out why Shadow would join GUN, we should establish why people think he wouldn’t.

As you said, you can’t understand his decision (very understandably so), therefor let’s sum up why you feel like this, and then I’ll try to explain how all that can actually lead to him joining in the end.

We all know GUN is responsible for Maria’s death, so why would Shadow want to join them? It doesn’t make sense!

Well, you see, it doesn’t. Things don’t always make sense. Not on first sight anyways.

First thing we should note is that the current GUN commander (I’ll talk abt him a lot now) and his family were aboard the ARK during the time that Shadow was created. We don’t know why, as there are no hints towards his parents’ jobs. There are also little hints to GUN actually having employees up there.

It is confirmed that GUN was funding the ARK project and all scientists abroad, they probably had agents up there that would live among the scientists to make sure to report back to the base frequently and keep HQ up-to-date about new findings and development of the experiments.

If the future commander was aware of that, or his parents were part of GUN, is not clear.

Speculative it is to say that he probably saw the GUN soldiers in the big invasion that killed his family (his parents either were scientists that were exterminated so they wouldn’t talk, or they were GUN agents that chose to defend the scientists, or they were killed by the artificial chaos that went on a rampage*) as heroes, since he canonically blames Shadow for everything.

He did have a deep and strong fear of Shadow since the very beginning because he happened to see Gerald and Black doom in a room with Shadow together at one point in time and associated Shadow with the alien ever since. It’s possible he didn’t know about Maria being very close to him, or he tolerated it because it was her.

Actually. 

Actually hold your fucking horses everyone I’m onto something.

Okay so… You know how the commander is super inconsistent with the whole family and Maria dying deal right?

SHADOW: Damn it! What does it all mean? These memories… thedoctor’s actions and words… nothing makes sense! Wasit real?

* - The GUN Commander walks up to Shadow, and points a handgun athim.

GUN COMMANDER: It’s been a long time… Shadow.

SHADOW: Who are you?! And how do you know my name?

GUN COMMANDER: I know you… Shadow the Hedgehog. You killedeveryone I loved… myfamily… Maria. I’ve been waiting all my life for this day!

SHADOW: What?! Me… and Maria?

* - A younger GUN Commander and Maria are running in a hall on theARK. He hits his ass to taunt Maria, and she catches up to him.She holds him in place, but he starts running again.

GUN COMMANDER (voiceover): Maria was like a sister to me. She wasthe only family I knew! And because of you… she waskilled!

* - The younger GUN-C gets to the door to Geral’d lab, and looksin the glass. Inside, Gerald and Black Doom are talking nearShadow’s pod.

GUN COMMANDER (voiceover): Witnessing it all… the plan to createthat horrifying evil creature... that black creature, and that insane professor who unleashed it all!

* - As the pod starts to move, the young GUN-C starts screaming.The pod sits upright, and Shadow opens his eyes.

SHADOW: So… the professor created me… with Black Doom?

GUN COMMANDER: You don’t fool me! It’s not just about Maria.Thanks to you, everyone I knewand loved was killed when the ARK was destroyed. Worst of all, myfamily! Finally… justice is served!

I bolded everything that is important to my analysis,,,,

ANYWAYS AS I WAS SAYING.

The Commanders words about his family and Maria being killed are all jumbled. One moment Maria is the only family he had, the next everyone he knew and loved was killed. Among those people Maria and his family.

We have no canon confirmation as to who his family was and why they were killed on the ARK. (Read speculation above again if needed, marked with an *)So what if Maria was his family? What if he was a Robotnik himself?

Who says that he knew about Ivo’s parents?

He might be blood related, or adopted by Gerald.

How else would a kid end up on a Space Station that is primarily for scientific research? Maria and the future commander should logically be the only children up there, because Gerald brought them with him. 

The commander witnessed Shadow’s creation and knows that Gerald was involved in it. He felt a deep hatred for Shadow, aswell as Gerald, for what happened. He mainly blames Shadow for the incident on ARK, but he also holds resentment towards Gerald for having created Shadow in the first place. (”The insane professor that unleashed it all!”)

This would imply that the commander refuses to see Gerald as part of his family anymore after that had happened, which would figuratively make Gerald “dead to him.” Maria would be the only family he had left after that, and she was killed on the ARK.

He was not there when it happened, he was escorted by GUN back to earth while Maria tried to defend Shadow and help him escape. He never got told how she died, he just, presumably, saw her on the list of victims.

This event shaped the commander into wanting to become someone who can protect the innocent from harm and prevent needless death.

We see his compassion in other cutscenes!

* - The Presiden’t helicopter touches down on the landing pad andseveral GUN soldiers run over to it. Slightly later, the GUNCommander helps the President walk to the control room. The Presidentsits down in a chair.

GUN COMMANDER: Sir, are you all right?

PRESIDENT: Never mind me… What about the people of Central City?

GUN COMMANDER: No need to worry, sir. Orders were issuedyesterday, and  everyone hasbeen evacuated to the safe zone.

[…]

GUN COMMANDER: So he’s finally decided to show himself. Attentionall command units! Mobilizeall Mech battle sections! Prepare all weapons to strikeincoming vessels! Mobilize “Diablon”!

GUN SOLDIR: But sir! It’s not ready yet!

GUN COMMANDER: I don’t care!! We have NO other option!! We MUSTprotect the President, andthe Chaos Emeralds, at all costs.

* - In the White House, the President is looking at Westopolisfrom the balcony. The sky is dark red/orange. The GUNCommander and two other soldiers come in through the door.

GUN COMMANDER: Sir, your transport is ready. We must go now! Sir,please!

PRESIDENT: Once again… I have failed my duty to protect ournation.

GUN COMMANDER: Sir, it’s not over! We can continue to fight. Theblack aliens may haverendered us unable for now, but we will rally, sir. You  must keep yournation strong and together.

PRESIDENT: Yes, keep the nation united. No matter what happens,we’ll never surrender to these creatures.*looks at the picture of Sonic and Shadow* This much I learnedfrom them.

GUN COMMANDER: Sir, please hurry.

PRESIDENT: Okay.

* - The President and the two soldiers start to leave. The GUNCommander looks at the picture the President keeps on his desk before leavinghimself.

GUN COMMANDER: The black creatures will feel their own bloodyHell!

Again, bold lines are important!

The commander made sure to evacuate the entire population of a major city that is based off the Washington metropolitan area with a populus of over 6 Million people within just one single day.

For reference I researched how long it normally takes to evacuate big cities in real life.

“At around 10 am on August 28, Mayor Ray Nagin declared a mandatory evacuation of the city, after Hurricane Katrina was updated to a Category 5, the strongest possible hurricane. By the time the hurricane hit, at around 7 AM on August 29, later studies revealed that around 90% of the New Orleans population left. That’s around one million people within 21 hours.

Preparations for Hurricane Katrina - Wikipedia

This is important, as we can guestimate just how long an evacuation could take, if we assume that the cities can evacuate at a similar rate to New Orleans. Doing the math, this means that New York City takes around 8 days to clear out, and Tokyo needs around two weeks or so.

Thing is, however, evacuation procedures will likely suffer because these cities are much larger than New Orleans, so you might need to add a few days to them.

So, it’s more likely that NYC and Tokyo would need at least two weeks before the cities could be cleared.”

source

So he really did something really amazing.

He prioritizes to keep the President and the chaos emeralds safe above anything else and risks unleashing a new and unreliable weapon; and against what you might think- that he’s selfish/doesn’t care about the citizens- the reason he prioritizes the emeralds over people….. 1) They’ve already been evacuated.2) If Black Doom gets all of the Chaos Emeralds there won’t be an Earth anymore. No Humanity. He can think critically and in advance yall.

Also consider how he gives the President hope, not to give up. He’s confident in his abilities as commander, and his his soldiers, to do whatever they can to keep the people of their country, and the entire world, save. And he also emphasizes that the nation themselves should not loose hope, that the President should be a positive influence and stand up against the intruders (the aliens).

He also says he’ll return “their bloody hell” to the aliens, which 1) references his association of Shadow with those aliens and his firm belief that Shadow killed Maria (and by extend his (grand?)father Gerald ?).2) references the fact that the aliens have taken countless of soldiers lives already and that he wishes to return that favour to their kind.

The commander is generally a justice loving person who will do anything in his power to do the right thing. When it comes to Shadow, though, he seems to not have his personal grudge towards him under control and he gets a little extreme with his idea of justice.

GUN COMMANDER: Shadow? Deploy the troops, NOW! And if you findShadow with the black aliens…then kill them all.

GUN SOLDIER: But sir, isn’t Shadow on our side–

GUN COMMANDER: I gave you an order, soldier! He’s evil and he’sthe enemy!

//

GUN COMMANDER: Alert all field commanders in Sector B. I’mauthorizing full use of alltactical weapons. I want both black aliens and Shadow stopped andburied. Failure, is not an option.

//

GUN COMMANDER: Hm-hm… It’s over, Shadow. You’ll finally beexposed and eradicated forthe evil that you are.

//

GUN COMMANDER (radio): Come in, Eclipse Cannon! He must be stoppedat all costs! Take him out... that’s an order!

//

GUN COMMANDER: Shadow! Damn you! It’s been fifty years… justicewill finally be served.*cocks handgun*

This emotional side of him is a great flaw in a man of his position, but also a great strength.

As we know he confronted Shadow about his hatred and literally attempted to personally kill him.

* - He fires his gun, but Shadow’s now standing behind theCommander, faced away from him, with his eyes closed.

SHADOW: If what you say is true, then I will respectfully acceptmy fate.

GUN COMMANDER: You mean to tell me that, you really don’t remembera thing?

SHADOW: But I just need some time… to uncover the real truth.

* - As Shadow walks off, the Commander looks at his gun and fallsto his knees.

Shadow admits to not remembering any of what he is saying, but that he will take responsibility for those things if it’s true (WHILE NOT EVEN REMEMBERING ANY OF IT). This means that Shadow accepts the justice the commander wanted to serve. And also that he forgives him for being so bitter about it, for being so incredibly angry.

You might think it is because he knows what it’s like to hate someone for killing your loved one and then doing everything to avenge them but…. he doesn’t remember. He doesn’t remember SA2. All he knows is the empty feeling of rage and sorrow, that he can’t really put any context on. (He remembered that Maria died and that he wasn’t able to save her, but he never remembered how she died. This had to be told to him by someone else. Either it was directly shown to him by Black Doom when he uses chaos control to show Shadow the past, or by Doom’s Eye in a cutscene before a boss fight. (iirc anyways because I’ve gone through so much cutscene and script material now that I might mix some stuff up, please correct me if I’m wrong).

Once the commander learns that Shadow doesn’t remember anything and fucking accepts his plans to kill him, he is SHOCKED.

He looks at his gun, as if he’s realizing just what the fuck he was doing, threatening and literally trying to kill Shadow in an attempt to serve “justice”. He falls to his knees in shame for his misguided behaviour. He realized how foolish and childish is obsessive pursuit of Shadow was.

Later in The Last Way when Gerald tells the truth about Shadow and Black Dooms relation and Shadow saves the world….

* - All of the members are cheering and yelling.

GUN COMMANDER: *sigh*

* - The President pats the Commander’s back.

PRESIDENT: How ironic… After the way we all treated him, hesaved us all i the end. We were all wrong about the professor. Let us pay homageto Professor Gerald. Let’s work to ensure peace and prosperity for a brighter future! What do you say, Commander?

GUN COMMANDER: Excellent idea, Mister President.

They feel guilty for holding Shadow accountable for the destruction the aliens caused, aswell as for what happened to Gerald. They plan to reform the way they act in homage of Gerald Robotnik (and Shadow the hedgehog).

Now, it’s not confirmed when exactly in the timeline it is, but the commander does say this, but in Space Gadget (after completing the game I assume) during the training gameplay it is possible to get a random call from the commander which says:

“Shadow, do you read me? First… I want to apologize, for the other day. Actually, I just became a grandfather last week and I was thinking of maybe having you over. I know that training is tough, but try and do your best.”

(here’s the voice file in case you want to hear it)

This confirms that the commander is trying to build a friendly relationship with Shadow now and wants him to be part of his family (again. Since they are both Robotniks.). It could either be an invitation after Shadow already had joined GUN, or, and I think that’s more likely, he wants to discuss that matter when Shadow pays him a visit and they can talk about it in person.

Now Shadow does forgive the commander for his actions, and he accepts that what happened to Maria lies in the past and that it is not the fault of anyone else but the person that shot her, so he can’t be angry at the entire human race for it. He understands it now.

The commander makes a genuine effort to keep the country, and the planet, save; and GUN is an organization that focuses on keeping the world save. Shadow knows that it is impossible for one person alone to do it, so he likely sees this as a good option for help since he’s willing to cooperate with this commander. Due to his old age he would have to retire soon, though, so Shadow would also likely want to be inside that system to have influence on the new leaders in the future, so that GUN does not stray the wrong path again. (Be it shady experiments or useless killing.)

He likely agreed upon the request under the condition that OMEGA could join along with him, as well as the condition that he, OMEGA and Rouge are an inseparable Team that will work together from this day forth.

This is how I think it went.

Yes I got lazy towards the end because it’s super hot and I’m sweaty and my laptop is literally wet from my sweaty hands its disgusting akjsfhka

If you have any questions or comments feel free to shoot me an ask! If you have anything to add or critique (because I’m 49320% sure i forgot half of the things i wanted to address again), feel free to add to my post!

sources: (take the wiki ones with a grain of salt i only referred to the stuff that is absolute fact (sourced trivia, quotes and plot line); not personality descriptions or anything interpretative stuff since the wiki is also fan made and i disagree with some of that)

http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Shadow_the_Hedgehog_(game)

http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Commander

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ps2/926671-shadow-the-hedgehog/faqs/39966

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mh7b_eml0EU (i used all 4 of those videos aswell as this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBisWZ8eKV0

[parkjmini]

Outlier | the end

poly!au: park jimin x reader x kim jennie while your lovers said they needed you, you wondered if they knew how much you needed them. word count: 3988 genre: angst warnings: explicit language

[an]: nothing is medically accurate lmao im so sorry i researched like 70 percent and then i implied everything else so dont trust me idk what im talking abt. but a BIG thank you to everyone who sent me so so so much support and feedback for this entire series bc i wouldn’t have had the motivation to finish. getting those messages after posting a chapter made me giddy for my own story and i know what happens. I truly love interacting with my readers and going into plot/character analysis, i just love hearing everyone’s thoughts and thinking processes bc we all interpret things differently, again, thank you everyone who enjoyed reading this story (: 

prologue . 01 . 02 . 03 . 04 . 05 . 06 . 07 . 08 . the end 

After confirmation of the surgery, it became prepping sessions. Your doctor slowly took you off the chemo and gave you medication to ease any discomfort. You were given less visiting hours because you needed to rest. 

But your troubles stirred when you were alone. The moment replayed in your mind when Jennie told you that they were broken up. There was nothing you could say, nothing for you to fix. Jennie and Jimin were respectfully dating you, aware of your decision for still wanting to be with the both of them. It didn’t feel the same though, it didn’t feel secure or safe.

There was no way you could date them separately. Jimin lacked what Jennie brought to the relationship and vise versa. It wasn’t complete without the both of them. Your nurses didn’t let you worry about that, brushing away Jimin and Jennie during your resting hours. 

Jungkook visited you once after you added him back onto your list. He also brought you a vase of your favorite flowers. There was part of you where you didn’t want to make things awkward, but the other part didn’t allow for that. Instead, you blurted out that you knew about his crush on you. Then, he left quickly after you rejected his offer to be with him.

Hoseok respected your time and didn’t visit when he wasn’t allowed to. You were aware of how he had other important events in his life, but you really wished he tried to see you more. You’d hate to admit it, but Hoseok seemed to be the only person you could turn to for any non-biased advice. Since he stopped coming around often, you had to turn to your nurses.

The two weeks were absolutely the dullest moment in your life. You thought that living in your small town with your mom was bad, this was worse. You were stuck in a huge hospital with no friends majority of your stay. Your nurses were only with you for max ten minutes before they needed to go. You had the television, sleep, and your own nervousness.

Surgery was a big decision, so big that you even called your mom about it. You didn’t have the best relationship with your mom, so calling her was a surprise to even her. She totally didn’t bother to follow up on your life, so she never called first. But, you couldn’t go into surgery with the possibility of death and not tell her about it.

She offered to fly over and you insisted that she didn’t. So when she arrived to see you, you didn’t hesitate to give her a piece of your mind.

“What are you doing here? I told you that you didn’t need to come. Where did you find which hospital I was staying at?” You groaned into your pillow.

Your mom set her things down and crossed her legs while she took a seat across from you. “I asked the school. I’m your mother, for fucks sakes.” 

“Yeah, well you didn’t think that when I was growing up, so now that I’m dying, you decide you should start caring.” You rolled your eyes at her gasp.

“How dare you say that to me? I raised you when your dad walked out on us.”

“If you think being drunk and picking me up from my after school programs means raising me, then yeah. You did great mom.” Your sarcasm came out in train wrecks when it came to your mom; she drew the worse out of you.

“(Y/N), you have cancer and you decide to let me know when you’ve already decided for surgery is not exactly the most responsible daughter thing you pride yourself to be.” She shot back.

Your nurse came in to cue that she only had 15 minutes left before she needed to leave. “It honestly didn’t cross my mind that I needed to tell you since you’ve never cared enough to call me these past years except to invite me to your stupid wedding. Might I also add that you didn’t tell me about until the day before, so that makes two of us.”

“I didn’t raise you for you to treat me like this.”

“You didn’t raise me at all, what are you saying? But how about we talk about something else, since that’s all we ever talk about. News flash, mom, I have fucking pancreatic cancer and I’m going into surgery tomorrow. I’ve been going to chemo these past three months and I have almost to no hair. My body is bruised from being poked by needles. I am dying! Thanks for even having the audacity to come see me before my maybe death tomorrow. Don’t let the door hit you in the face.” You shouted as loud as your lungs let you go.

Your door opened and you both stopped your argument to see Jennie and Jimin standing under the frame. They looked stunned and confused to see the lady who you resembled. “Did we come at a bad time?” Jimin asked.

“No, since this is your visiting time.” You crossed your arms, glaring at your mom.

“Who are you two?” She asked, rudely.

“Mom, that’s my boyfriend, Jimin and that’s my girlfriend, Jennie. Welcome to the modern society of polyamorous relationships where I love two people at once.” Jennie and Jimin have never heard such sarcasm run out of your mouth. You were always just subtle, but this side of you was new.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Jennie stepped forward and your mom got up.

“Well, I can see that you have a whole double life I know nothing about. I guess you don’t need me anymore. Good luck on your surgery and whatever you call a relationship.” She grabbed her things and walked past Jennie and Jimin.

“She was pleasant.” Jimin said sarcastically and you rolled over on your side.

“This is why I never brought you home with me for the holidays.”  Jennie hurried to cuddle up to your side. 

“At least we avoided an awkward argument over Christmas dinner.” She chuckled and kissed your ear.

Jimin sat on your opposite side. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” 

Sitting up in Jennie’s arms, you buried your face in your hands. “No. I’m so scared.” 

“You’re going to be fine. Jennie, Hoseok and I are going to be right outside of your door. We’re going to be with you when you’re recovering. We’re with you every step of the way, we already packed our go-bags.” Jimin tried to comfort you, but you sobbed into your hands. You couldn’t help but cry so much nowadays. Staying strong was hard when you were so vulnerable. 

“And if something happens? Will you be there with me?” It was a rhetorical question that caused them to both fall silent.

“Nothing will happen. They’re highly trained professionals and I made sure you had the best surgeon in this hospital.” Jennie bragged proudly and Jimin laughed.

“Yeah, seeing her demand it was very terrifying. But, she did it. You’re in good hands, baby.” Jimin smiled and kissed the top of your head.

“Can you two just lay with me for the last couple of minutes before my nurse comes and kicks you out?” You sniffed and moved over for Jimin to join the sandwich fest.

“(Y/N), I love you so much.” Jennie and Jimin said in unison, and the unsettling feeling set back into your system.

A group of nurses and surgeons rolled you into a double door room. It was dim, except for the big spotlight that shined above you. Squinting, you saw the surgical masks that blinked back at you.

“Ready?” Your doctor was smiling behind her mask.

“No.” Your voice trembled from your nerves; your palms slick with sweat. “I want to be okay.”

“And you will be, (Y/N). We’re going to start with the anesthetics and we’ll get everything going. Relax, I’m right here.” She held onto your shaking hand and you stared back up at the bright light.

You felt the drugs enter your system, slowly stripping away your consciousness. You’ve already cried out all night your worries and said a few important goodbyes before the day arrived. The jittery feeling caused your body to shake uncontrollably and you were so terrified. This could mean recovery or death.

And while you hoped for survival, you knew the chances were split between the two options. Death was unavoidable, but to die so early shook your bones. Your dreams have just been memories of past events in your life, reminding you of the life you lived. The life you might soon leave. It was harder to ignore death than it was to wish for recovery.

Once your eyelids fell over your eyes, you’ve never felt more alone in your entire life.

“Would you stop pacing? You’ve been walking back and forth for the past two hours.” Jennie complained.

Jimin stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes at her, “I’m nervous.” 

“What happened to ‘it’s going to be fine’ and ‘you don’t need to worry’?” Jennie laughed and Jimin rolled his eyes.

“I can’t help that my body reacts the way it does when I’m the slightest worried. How are you so calm about this? They’re literally cutting her open in that room.” Jimin gestured to the closed doors.

“By not thinking about it like that. I’m thinking about the lovely time I get to spend with my girlfriend when she’s done.” Jennie muttered.

Jimin walked up to her and pointed to his chest, “you mean my girlfriend?”

Hoseok pushed the two apart. “She’s both of your’s. Are you two done making a scene in a hospital?” 

Jimin went over to sit next to Hoseok’s other side, making him stuck in the middle of a not-so-friendly feud. Even though they showed up together for visits, they were incredibly hostile to one another when they were alone. 

They slept in separate beds, Jimin taking over your room and Jennie in her’s. They ate dinner with their own friends and didn’t bother to tell each other about their whereabouts. They mostly spoke to each other in scoffs or groans.

Suddenly, the hallway doors were slammed open and nurses were rushing in a big machine --- a defibrillator.

The three of them stood up, seeing how rushed and hurried the nurses looked. The surgery door opened and a surgeon walked out with sweat dripping down the side of his head. The sound of a flat line heartbeat caught the attention of Jennie.

“Her heart isn’t beating, is it?” She was afraid to hear the answer to her question, her chest rising and falling violently.

Your doctor held the door open for the other nurses and defibrillator. “Her pulse went out, but we’re doing our best. But prepare for the worse.” 

Jennie collapsed onto the floor, bawling. “Holy fuck, we’re going to lose her!” She shouted with heavy tears running down her face. It was like her words pulled Jennie’s heart down to the pit of her stomach. Her whole mind and body were shutting down at the news.

“You have to stay calm, Jen.. we’re in a hospital.” Jimin tried to get her up, but she kept slipping his grasp.

“I don’t care! That’s our girl in there and her heart isn’t beating!” She exclaimed and Hoseok helped with holding her up.

Jimin’s head was in shambles, utterly speechless at what was happening. Hoseok was numb to the news, unaware to how to react. They wanted to stay optimistic, that the defibrillator will work. It had to work. 

“Why don’t you two go outside and get some air? I’ll stay here for any further news. Please... it’s not a suggestion. Go.” Hoseok needed to clear them out before they both stressed him out more than he already was.

Jimin walked Jennie outside. The light breeze clearing their heavy, crazy minds. Jennie was choked up by her tears, constantly wiping at her wet cheeks. Jimin stared at the ground, listening to her sorrows. His heart too heavy to express.

“Aft-er -- everything.. --Jimin --- I’m.. really, truly sorry...--” Jennie had trouble speaking with the endless waterfalls from her eyes.

“--Jen..” Jimin barely got out.

“No.. listen to me first. I’ve felt really guilty about all the rumors. We should’ve never gotten together in the first place, especially with someone like me. I’m known as the campus hoe, right? I can’t hold onto a stable relationship even if I wanted to and now my --- girlfriend --- is-- she’s -- dying.” Jennie cried harder, holding her face in her hands as she slid against the wall and onto the ground.

“I didn’t do anything with Jisoo ever. I don’t know how many more times I need to tell you, but I would never hurt you or (Y/N) like that, especially coming from a place where that has happened to me multiple times. Maybe you’ve always secretly doubted our relationship, considering how we got together through an accidental one night stand.” 

“Through our three months together, I fell head over heels for you, Jimin. I’ll admit it. I liked (Y/N) first, but you had a piece of me I didn’t think I could give to anyone after Taehyung. You’re so open, so understanding, so kind. I’ve never fully gotten the chance to explain myself because you keep shutting me down and every time, I believed that my explanation doesn’t matter. I’ve been devalued my entire life by my partners and sadly, I made myself feel that way with you when you ignored my pleads. But I think now is the best opportunity to tell you because we honestly don’t have anyone else who understands us the way we do. We’re both suffering because our girlfriend is in there not breathing. Our girlfriend, Jimin. I love you and through everything, you’re the one of the only people in this world who knows my struggles.” Jennie held him by the shoulders, so he could look her in the eyes as she gripped onto the only hope left in her life.

Jimin invited her into his arms, holding her tight. He had forgotten why he was upset before. He just wanted to be with his girls. He wished, hoped, prayed that things were back to how they were before the misfortune. 

“I’m sorry for making you feel invalid. I’m sorry for hurting you the way I did.” He admitted and Jennie sobbed harder into his chest.

“It’s okay... -- we’ll --- be...”

“--- Okay?” Jimin finished off and she nodded. 

You couldn’t breathe or move. Your lungs collapsed into your chest and you struggled to supply oxygen to your body. You screamed, but no noise came out and your arms were glued to your side. It was like you were trapped in a motionless body.

Everything was turning fuzzy and a white light blurred your vision. This was it. You were dying. You weren’t sure what realization hit you. Maybe it was the lost of breath and your heart rate slowly declining. Maybe it was the blinding light that caught your attention ahead.

Your memories started flashing before you. Jennie and Jimin flooding your mind. Your eyes scanned for anyone else, but them. However, you were left with scenes of your once perfect relationship.

Your first date night. It was the day you officially joined your partners. Jennie hurried you down to meet Jimin. He was cleaned up nicely, standing all cool against his sleek car. He peered up to see Jennie with the biggest smile on her small face, hand holding yours. 

She told Jimin the news and he was overjoyed, ready to hold you in his arms. He rushed you into the car and it didn’t feel much different than it was when all three of you hung out. The only difference was that you’ve never been more intimate with your best friends. 

Your first kiss. You anxiously sat next to Jimin on the couch during a lazy movie fest you were having with them. He had his arm wrapped around you, twirling the ends of your fingers with his. Your heart beating so fast, being not use to the touching from either of them.

He picked up your chin, knowing that you were distracted. It was an instant spark once your eyes connected and soon, your lips did as well.

Your first ‘I love you’. This moment was one of your favorites. It was Jennie’s birthday and you three were excited for the day ahead. However, a huge storm was rolling in and you were almost home. Jimin insisted in stopping to buy more snacks before rushing back. 

Once you all stepped out from the convenience store, it was showering, pouring heavy amounts of rain. Jennie, you and Jimin were drenched within seconds of going outside. Your plastic bags filled up an inch with collected water. Jimin’s leather seats in his car pooled with rain. All three of you laughed with glee as you marveled the escape from the wet mess.

And you suddenly stopped to admire the way Jimin’s eyes disappeared cutely and how Jennie’s nose scrunched up, her adorable snort catching your attention. In the midst of their happiness, you blurted out, “I love you two.”

The news of your mother’s wedding. An invitation was addressed to you. It had pretty cursive handwriting and a beautiful design. It was a wedding for your mom and her boyfriend, inviting you to join them for an evening of unity. You weren’t aware of them even being engaged, let alone a marriage. 

Jennie and Jimin never mentioned your mom, knowing you didn’t like pressing on too much about her. Their initial reaction was for you to go, until you explained that you didn’t even know she was getting married. You had crumpled up the invitation and threw it away in the trash.

Jennie consoled you, reassuring you that it was perfectly fine that you don’t attend. While you sulked in the living room, they approached you with the idea of still giving your mom a gift to congratulate her. It showed that you were the bigger person and that you acknowledge her efforts. They made you a better you.

Throughout every flashback, and every memory, your heart was searching for something beyond them, an image that wasn’t them. You laid there, dying, and all you saw was your girlfriend and your boyfriend. There had to be more than that and your heart was looking, waiting, for any other memories to surface. 

But nothing. It was only them and you couldn’t help, but feel a little disappointed. For the last few years of your life, you’ve revolved your entire world around these two people. You’re alone, not because you’re not social, but because you chose to focus all of your efforts into your relationship. And as you slowly lost sense of your consciousness, you became regretful about how you lived.

You heard distant voices, “1, 2, 3!” and you slowly opened your eyes. There was a rush of air that filled your lungs. Your vision adjusted to the bright spotlight and the many surgical masks above you. 

“She’s awake! We got her pulse!” They cheered and one of the nurses pulled down his mask.

“You’re going to be okay, Ms. (Y/N). The surgery was a success.” He smiled and you nodded, reaching for his hand to hold to make sure it was your reality. 

“We’re going to move you to your recovery room now, but you did really well.” The young nurse cheered with so much excitement, there were tears in his eyes. He was a complete stranger that just saved your life, yet he was even crying for you.

“T-Than-k yo-u.” You barely made out and he patted your shoulder. You shut your eyes again and felt the bed move and the voice of Hoseok calling after you as natural light hit your eyelids.

Several hours after the surgery and going over the post-surgery care, you carefully sat up in bed. Hoseok had to leave, but the two stayed. Jennie held onto you tighly, and Jimin blinked at you with stars in his eyes. But the thought you had while you were close to death never left your mind. 

“There is something I need to talk to you about.” You began, and Jimin and Jennie shared glances. “There was a lot to think about when I went under, my heart stopped for a few minutes and I was so close to my death. All I saw were our memories. I saw you two, but... something inside of me longed for something else, something more.” 

“If it’s not the three of us, then I don’t want to be in an individual relationship with either of you. That would mean making me choose and I don’t love one more than the other. It’s either both of you or neither. I will always love you two with all that my heart has to offer, but my life is so valuable and I need someone who is going to recognize that. I realized that the best for us is that there simply is no us. I love you both so much, I really do, but right now is not the right time. I’ll never forget us. ”

“Jennie, you were the first girl I love. Jimin, you were the first boy I love. But throughout it all, I won’t try to remember us. Maybe we’ll realize each other’s worth once we’re ready for it and we’ll be new people when we meet again.”

Jennie didn’t let go of your hand, instead, she nodded to every single word that you poured from your heart. “If that’s what you think is the best option for us, then I’ll accept your decision.” She agreed and no longer shed any more tears. She knew it was for the better, even if it did break her heart.

With a turn of events, Jimin was actually the one crying this time. Jimin’s tears spilled down his plump, supple cheeks. It was difficult for him to talk.. it was difficult for him to express how he felt in general. “I felt so regretful because I thought I was going to lose you forever when I was ready to trade my life for your’s. I’m just happy you’re alive and breathing. I respect your decision and I think that you’ll always know what’s best for us three.” 

Your heart was healing, bit by bit. The shock of almost death woke you up and you no longer wanted to be trapped in something that didn’t seem to work out well anymore. It was time for an end. It was time for change and you were more than thankful to have Jennie and Jimin, who loved you so much, they were willing to let you go and live life with no more regrets. 

Jennie smiled before gently kissing your hand, “I’m unsure how long me and Jimin would’ve lasted without you, but we were two people who fell out of love for each other, but back in love through you. I want you to know that even though you felt like you didn’t belong in our relationship, you were actually the connection between us. You were the reason there was an us.”

It was an epiphany ---- you were not the outlier in the relationship. You were the core center. Jennie and Jimin were more than thankful to have you in their lives, who loved them so much, that you were willing to look past their differences and to fight through every trial. 

“You were the reason there was an us.” That single line replayed in your thoughts, in a constant loop. And you smiled at Jimin and Jennie, the monitor beeping being the only noise in the room.

“I love you both, don’t you ever forget that.” 

[survivor-mountmerapi]

Finale: “My impact on this game? Astronomical.” - Raffy

Raffy

My impact on this game? Astronomical. This is probably the best I've ever played in a long time. I literally survived a vote that I should have been gone at. My strong social bonds and strategic mind are literally shining. With my SWP, I am at F5 guaranteed. There's no reason to lie to Gian or Anastasia anymore. It's time I come clean to them so I don't lose to a bitter jury. It will be tough because I really like Gian, but this has to be done. Literally, my CP edit is over the charts. I am winning this game! My F3 plan is still in the air. I definitely want Steven there. So, it's between Elle and DeNara. I have a better chance at winning against Elle, but DeNara could be extremely bitter. Choices, choices.

DeNara

Final 3 alliance with Elle and Anastasia? Yes please! I am feeling like I am in a good spot right now. I can use a break from stress for at least a day. We just cant have Gian win  immunity

Raffy

I found an idol! I got it! I have it! I can make it to Final 4! These people are going to be MAD when I flip that thing out at Final 5. But, it doesn't matter anymore. I have the one thing that will keep me safe in these trying times. That's all that matters. Now, I just need to win the Final Immunity Challenge and I will the game. Honestly, things are looking a lot brighter for me. I came into this game thinking that there was no way I could possibly win, but now there is a real chance. My preferred boot order at the moment is Gian -> Anastasia -> DeNara. I think that gives me the best chances at getting my second win.

Steven

These puzzles are making me not like puzzles. I literally haven't talked to anyone cause Im trying to grind these things out.

Raffy

I won individual immunity! We stan a king that's making it to FTC. My plan this round is to finally take out Gian. I am giving Steven the SWP to ensure he sticks around. So, it should be 3-2 against Gian which serves me well. I am not that worried about an idol because I am safe. In fact, it would do me well if Gian does have an idol and idols out one of DeNara or Elle. It takes one of them out for me so I do not have to do it later.

Gian

No one wants to talk with me, which means they’re unwilling to flip. So, 6th place it is I guess! Not bad for a noob in what’s like an All Star season. I’m proud of that.

Elle

hi between last round and this one i have contracted covid amazing hate that for me anyway this is a general run-through of the game stuff i did while i still had energy to do game stuff: - made an 'eventual final 3' alliance with denara and anastasia - made a plan of it being gian, raffy, then steven gone - texted the raffy steven denara and me alliance abt some meant for the other one and then had to cover a bit whoops - idk i think that's it, i started the puzzle challenge and then the next morning i woke up and was like "this... might not be it chief" and then took a nap and woke up and was like "this is Entirely Not It, Chief" Hope im not some secret blindside vote bc i have not been active enough to even guess what may be going on secretly I'm voting Gian and that's all i got

DeNara

Oh my goodness, I can't believe I have made it to final 5! Yay me! I feel good about my final 3 deal with Anastasia and Elle. I am nervous about Steven and Raffy. Steven hasn't really been talking to me much lately so I am nervous he doesn't want to work with me anymore so I feel like he may have to be the next vote off. Anastasia said she searched 28 and was told there used to be something there, which is where Raffy said he found his idol. I didn't believe he had the idol, but now I do. Which means he is for sure going to be in the final 4. He cannot win final 4 immunity or I am hecked. Right now I am trying to figure out if there is a way to put the votes on Raffy  in case he doesn't play it. I don't want to only vote Steven and then have Raffy give his idol to Steven.

Raffy

The only concern I have for this round is if Anastasia will win immunity. That presents a very big problem as I would have to move my betrayal plan up by one round. However, I am not terribly worried about this round since, with this idol, I will be getting to Final 4. There's not much tea. I am trying to discuss with Steven later who we should take out at 4, but he seems hesitant. That's a red flag that he might be targeting me. Oh well. He'll have to beat me at FIC first.

Anastasia

The only tea is very sad. I think I might be getting voted off. I only think this because Raffy sent me a goodbye message and it seems that's the way it's going to be. My only hope is DeNara and Steven and I talked with them and pleaded my case to keep me. I don't know what they'll do but I'm thinking they will vote me out because I'm a bigger threat than Elle. DeNara literally said earlier in the game that me, Gian, and Raffy were her biggest threats. I have like a 30% chance of staying but even if I do stay I probably wont win. And if they somehow get Raffy out next round, I don't even know who I'd even vote for. I think if I made it past this round I would maybe have a chance at winning or at least recieving some votes.

Raffy

Steven and I had a small chat about our FTC plans. We came to the conclusion that we should bring DeNara to FTC. The logic behind it is that some of the jurors may be bitter against DeNara for not flipping at multiple occasions. She missed her shot to do anything really impactful in the late stages of the game. So, it would be best to take her to the end. Elle has a solid vote in Moth, but DeNara has no one like it. So, that is the current plan of action. Other than that, Anastasia should be getting the boot tonight unless she has an idol. In which case, it makes the FTC plan a lot simpler in my mind since we will not have to betray anybody.

Elle

Late game I feel like there's less and less to confess, probably bc there are less people to interact with, and especially with this vote not much choice. Unless Anastasia has an idol, she's going this round :(. I could've sworn there were 2 more idols out in the wild (well one more bc Raffy has one) but maybe I forgot to subtract once or something. Anyway I hope DeNara wins, even though I was thinking about it, and no matter which one of us wins at this point it's not a bad narrative. Steven will have won his first game in like 3 years, Raffy will have had years of losses only to win twice in a row which would be wild lol, and I'm not sure how long DeNara has been playing but it'll be her first win, and this is only my second game so I'm not like, dying to win, honestly. If Anastasia does have an idol tho :O now wouldn't that be interesting!! I hope she votes for me 😂since the only options are me and DeNara I really want DeNara to win :( but if I go to FTC I can't just be like "Hello everyone vote for DeNara pls 💖" Plus I've been getting like a stray vote like every round since before Julia left.

Steven

So basically Raffy conceded his chance of immunity to me cause of his idol. Like i guess I could've done the same but my idol is still a secret (shhhh). The plan is now to use it on Anastasia and maybe throw a vote on DeNara. Like it's in everyone's best interest to vote Raffy next round so I could pretty much do whatever this round with little repercussions. Like I know voting DeNara would probably hurt her feelings but she is apart of Raffy's ideal final 3 so whatever way I can mess with that I would be down for.

DeNara

Dang it. It sucks that Steven got immunity. I love the guy, he is great, but he is the person connected the most to Raffy so now it is either myself, Elle or Anastasia going home :-(

DeNara

Ahhhhhhh I am so nervous for tribal. I really hope I am not going to be blindsided. Right now the plan is for myself, Steven and Raffy to vote for Anastasia. I am nervous because I know I am probably a bigger threat than her and it has been super quiet lately. Sooooo.... either I am going to be blindsided or everyone is just super set with their plan. Part of me wants to take Elle out and work with Anastasia but that would require Steven's help and I don't think he is up for it. Sigh. It is harder because I like every one!

Anastasia

DeNara just comfirmed with me that I'm going home. Since this is probably my last confession in this game I will say my opinion. This whole situation in this game is very boring because everyone knows what's going to happen. And it's DeNara and Stevens fault for it too. DeNara could've voted him out but she got scared. Steven, to this round, is too scared of Raffy to vote Elle. They are letting the person that is supposed to be the biggest target control them. They are literally scared of "going against his wishes." It's rediculous and I'm sorry to say it but I don't like how Steven and DeNara played the game. I love them as people though! DeNara even made it seem like she was on my side but the only time we really worked together was when I saved her by voting out Madi. That was the only thing we actually got done. Steven also said he was my ally the whole game but whenever I would talk game with him he would just talk about how he's scared of what Raffy would think or do. It's so boring and dissappointing to me. Oh and Elle. The nicest girl here but also the least active in the game. She was good at challenges kind of but she also followed Raffy the whole game. If Raffy got voted out, I wouldn't want to vote for any of them. Sorry about it. I'm hoping I can play this game again and be an experienced player. Now that I know how this thing works I am ready to make moves and stuff. It's too bad I'm getting voted off tonight.

Anastasia

So everyone tried to get Anastasia out but Anastasia remains in this game. I survived the hardest week when the odds were against me somehow. And heres something awkward: I said out loud that Steven is such a Raffy follower and basically that I think hes a bad player and then he used idol on me. Laughs out loud I guess. Anyways i am so happy that I am safe and we got the most likable player outta here. I really hope I win immunity like I literally need to win please.

DeNara

Holy crap!!!!!!! I knew I was going to get blindsided!!!!!!! Although I thought it was going to be Raffy doing that, not Steven! I am so thankful to Anastasia for voting Elle because I told her to vote Raffy and if she had done that, I would have gone home. I am also so thankful for Elle for saying she wanted to be voted out. I kind of feel like I don't deserve to be in the final 4  because I think Raffy would have voted me out, but I have played a great social game. I told Raffy I will send him to fire-making if he doesn't win immunity and I meant it when I said it. Now I have to figure out if I am actually going to do it. I have played a great social game and connected with just about everyone so I do feel like I have a chance to win.

Raffy

I am not that surprised by Steven's move. Though, it didn't work. I figured he was wanting to make a big move to have some credit to his game. Though, it didn't work. Now, I have two options: win FIC or get DeNara to vote with me. It will be a tough road, but I have faith that I can get her to send me to fire along with someone else. I have found myself in a very sticky situation, but I'm a weasel. I can get out of it. It's possible. I am very nervous about this immunity challenge because I have no idea what I am going to get myself into. God. I want to win so badly it hurts.

Anastasia

So everyone tried to get Anastasia out but Anastasia remains in this game. I survived the hardest week when the odds were against me somehow. And heres something awkward: I said out loud that Steven is such a Raffy follower and basically that I think hes a bad player and then he used idol on me. Laughs out loud I guess. Anyways i am so happy that I am safe and we got the most likable player outta here. I really hope I win immunity like I literally need to win please.

Raffy

I should get "Arrogant" tattooed on my forehead. There's something about that word that just gets me HEATED. But, during the conference, I feel I maintained my cool. I don't think it was necessarily helpful because I already know what I need to do to get to the end. Just got to find a way to get there.

Raffy

Time to go cry. There's nothing left for me to do. Literally, nothing to do except wait and pray these people actually talk to me. DeNara will not be receiving my vote if she chooses to vote me out here as giving me false hope after last tribal is a bit too unflavorful for me. Anastasia is going to vote for me. Steven is going to vote for me. Literally, I just have to rely on DeNara which fucking sucks. I'm just so sad now. I've come so far in this game and done so much and have given up so much time, effort, and mental energy to a game. And now it's all going down the drain because of fucking trivia. Side note. I hate trivia. If there's one thing I am not good at, then it would be trivia. God. I just want to crawl into a hole until tribal.

Anastasia

GUYS I LITERALLY JUST WON THE CHALLENGE. We literally just need to vote out Raffy it's so easy but I'm scared DeNara is going to send him to fire like she promised WHICH WOULD BE DUMBEST GAME MOVE EVER I SWEAR IF SHE DOES IT.. Anyways I am a little bit excited for final tribal council i can't wait to plead my case and probably win. I mean maybe I wont but I talked to the jury today and they don't seem to like Steven or DeNaras games. So unless they have something really good to say I think that I might have a really good shot at winning.

DeNara

Well I lost that challenge so hard. I am so glad I saved my advantage for that *insert eye roll here*. Seriously though I actually only knew two answers lol I felt so stupid. I hope people realize how incompetent I actually am and give me props for making it this far lol.

DeNara

I feel so stressed. Steven and Anastasia are begging me to vote Raffy out and Raffy is begging me to let him make fire. I know that if I vote him out, I have a really good shot at winning, but I think the guilt would eat me alive. He saved me last vote 100% and now he is asking me, person to person, to just give him the opportunity to fight for his life in the game. I know that if I let him make fire, I am basically killing my chances of winning. If Steven wins fire-making, people will be mad I left it to chance and didn't vote Raffy out for the second time. If Raffy wins fire-making, he is likely to just straight up win the game. I have played a fantastic social game so I know I deserve to win, but I think everyone will be clouded over by Raffy that they won't even listen to me. Right now I plan on voting Steven because I know I would feel awful voting Raffy out, whether I win or not. But I know I am likely to flip flop about every 11 minutes until tribal lol. I honestly have no idea what I will end up doing. Greedy DeNara really wants to win, but kind DeNara wants to give Raffy the chance, even if she looses. DeNara loves to talk in third person btw.

DeNara

Both Raffy and Steven are checking in on me constantly because they want to ensure my vote. It is kind of nice to feel like I am guaranteed a spot in the final 3 at this point. Unless something crazy happens and Steven and Raffy both vote me.... rip

Raffy

DeNara is sending me to fire. I am going to cry.

DeNara

Well.... it is 35 minutes before tribal. I am feeling stressed and pretty awful about voting Raffy, especially since all day I have told him I am going to send him to fire. I have been trying to not think about how I feel about this. I plan to vote Raffy and I feel awful about it right now.

Steven

This may be my final confessional. This game has been a journey of ups and downs from the start and I'm so happy to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It hurts to vote my friend out at the last possible tribal but I have gone over it in my head for rounds now and the only possible way for me to have a chance at final tribal is to have him out. Its so weird though going the end with both Anastasia and DeNara cause we just randomly made a final 3 rounds ago but we barely talked in it, and now it actually came to fruition and we are most likely being in the final 3 together. Now my life is in DeNara's hands and I'm just hoping that she sees the situation from a logical standpoint like she has for most of this game. I'm just worried cause she has got nervous in the past and I don't her to make any irrational decisions and keeps Raffy.

I was so worried before the challenge cause I told Raffy that the chances of me voting for him to stay was very unlikely. I just wanted to be honest cause I didn't want to get his hopes up and then hurt him right before he goes to jury. He was honest back and said that he will be voting for Anastasia and if she wins then me. Well Anastasia won (Just barely and oh my god Raffy had me so worried cause he almost won) and ultimately put Raffy's final target on me. Like if I do make it to final 3 with DeNara and Anastasia I do think it is kind of an even playing field. We all have different stories with our own person ups and downs. I know my biggest hurdle is going to be getting the jury to see me as anything as Raffy's goat first and then get them to understand my game second. I'm worried they will look at the other two and see them playing more individual games and I need to make everyone see that I played the same way. I don't say this much and actually mean it but it is anyone's game.

Anastasia

So we just voted Raffy out of this game. The vote was all up to DeNara at this vote and she is a very emotional player so I was so nervous. Luckily, she voted Raffy and that made it 3 votes Raffy and 1 vote Steven. And as a plus, Steven no longer has a perfect game so I think that is just perfect. DeNara was very upset about having to vote Raffy but she knew she had to do it. Raffy's goodbye speech was very extreme and I think he shouldn't have said some of the things he said. He had been playing with DeNaras emotions for a week up to this tribal and his speech just attacked her. He basically took all of this negative emotions that he felt from losing the game out onto emotional DeNara and I didn't feel it was right. Raffy just critisized DeNara for lying but everyone lies in this game including you. I know he's lied because he's lied to my face before. I just hated how he made DeNara feel it was not nice at all.

[impyeseul]

( loOK AT THIS CUTE LIL SQUISH IM CRYIGN !! )

hI BABIES !! i hope you’re having/had a good day bc my impatient and hyped ass has been dying to plot with you all since i sent my acct in bc this rp is ? already so cool ?? anyways i’m kat, 19 yo mess™ from canada, the nt specifically aka the geniuses behind the only :30 tz on the planet tyvm. i’m a SUFFERING uni student, i’m bts, sci-fi and alt rock trash, letterkenny s3 has become my life now and when my social life isn’t dormant like it is rn, you can usually find me at the campus bar having a wild time with a couple of my ra’s lol. i have a small plots page set up HERE that you can check out — i kinda gave up on the creative thing i had going with them by the fourth one and still have a few to add ( bc it’s dinner time rn and i’m famished ) as you can see hgjkfs — and feel free to im me for my discord acct !! now, on to my content, quixotic bab seulie who rly.. doesn’t know what she’s doing with herself despite finally getting her life on track overall, but she’s trying:

— earlier, i could’ve sworn i saw PARK CHAEYOUNG (ROSÉ) on campus, but it’s just SONG YESEUL. i heard they were sorted as a GLEAM and they’re only TWENTY years old majoring in FASHION MARKETING here at imperium, which isn’t surprising considering their ability is ADOPTIVE MUSCLE MEMORY. people call her the PEACH because she is supposedly EBULLIENT, but also COMPULSIVE but who knows if that’s true, it’s their ability that matters. ( kat. 19. nt. she/her. none. )

so lil song yeseul was born in changwon to a korean-canadian father and her mother who had both moved from daegu abt two years prior ??

has a younger brother by abt two years and ig you could say they were middle class

so most of her family bg is still up in the air for me but

her parents were always v big on education, wanting the best for their kids and to be cared for in their old age, so seulie and her brother were diligent in their studies as kids

however, she slipped away little by little and became a more lax student, hiding under the guise of working endlessly in her room when she was really just reading the new tw****** book ( yeah, i rly just censored that series lmao )

her grades were still good, she just didn’t get as into it and overwhelmed by it as before

without a doubt lost her shit when she learned that she had powers

i mean she prob learned she had them when she was fourteen and saw a huge fist fight between some kids at school.. before going home and accidentally punching her little brother in the face

“ what.. the fuck ? oh my god oh my gOD HOW DO I KNOW HOW TO THROW A PUNCH LIKE THAT ? HOW DO I KNOW HOW TO DO A ROUND OFF BACK HANDSPRING DOUBLE PIKE ?! ”

is good at sports and dance mostly bc of her power.. but she’s also a walking safety hazard bc she’s clumsy af, so she steers clear of most sports for everyone’s sake

like cute guy or girl in the stands ? she’s taking the field hockey forward down with her when she trips on air and prob fucks them up bc they cushioned her fall

yeah i rly.. made a girl equipped with muscle memory a klutz, rip

anyways her parents weren’t too peeved by this surprisingly ( at least her dad wasn’t lol ) as long as she didn’t nearly break her brother’s nose again jgfksd

ngl it was smooth sailing for the most part, unless you caught her off-guard with your presence or something, then she was a state with her movements 

prob took up a job at some local fast food place like every other teen to save for uni

so fast forward and she graduated !!! she thought she’d do medical science and had no real worries about changing her mind

got into imperium and was set on medicine.. until she finally began attending uni, about a month in and she was fucking clueless

on top of that, she had to adjust to so much concentration on her power that it was all a little surprising and foreign to her

so to sum it up, her first year saw her suffering with academics, and other aspects of her life at imperium, however for the most part, everything was p good and she was content

so after a while, seulie switched into fashion marketing and she loves it

her parents were p disappointed for a while bc of the switch in major and there was an evident strain on their relationship ( between her and her mom, at least ) but by now they’ve come around and she’s so thankful for that tbh ??

anyway she’s kinda a mess, not rly sure of what else to say lol

personality and other stuff ig

pansexual af 

soft af !!

spontaneous, if only i could give you an example rIP

obsessed with the idea of leading a luxurious lifestyle and wants it to be at her own accord

has a bit of a dependency on others, even if she tries to deny it bc she knows she does deep down

a generally cheery person who wants the best for people

C L U M S Y

like she rly isn’t joining any sports bc of it, even if soccer is prob ok for her; won’t take her chances lmao

the type to make up for any harm she inflicted in training by icing your bruise, buying you lunch or cuddling if you wanna do that lol

physical affection is everything to her rly, kisses and the like are welcomed wholeheartedly

won’t admit to this either, but she tends to feel rly insecure bc she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life once she actually dived into uni or how to tell her parents, or how some people tend to walk over her bc of her occasional naiveté, see her as weak for being a more gentle soul, etc

is scarily calm when she’s angry, but that’s bc she doesn’t get angry per se ?? it’s irritation and disappointment at best so like.. beware

thinks the hierarchy is pathetic and jst wants everyone to be treated fairly ?? is prob an advocate for world peace but with the knowledge of it being difficult to achieve easily, so she approaches this whole thing similarly

is the type to cry over a series finale she’s watched twenty times already

horror movies get her evERY TIME; even if she can laugh at the badly done ones, the jump scares without fail fuck her up

super chill though, always smiling, just a rly cute bean

loves cats and dogs, she’ll never pick one over the other

hc: when she has a family and all that and they decide to adopt a puppy, she’ll leave the kids with her partner and snatch a tabby cat bc why not have both ??

the biggest meat hoe™

but loves cocoa more than life itself

tries to dress in a sophisticated manner but also rly loves wearing cute baggy sweatshirts and ball caps

skIRTS

loves all of the cult classic teen movies, has a soft spot for well done romance flicks and kdramas too

also a hopeless romantic and is set on the principle of heart over head, legit will fall in love with/develop a crush on you so easily so watch yourself pLS

has never been in a relationship tho lol

.. wh y am i saying that like she’s a loser when i haven’t either

i rly just played myself, why am i not surprised lfjdkgh

loves indie/electropop, alternative, rap, and r&b music

has a profound admiration for classical as well

not the heaviest drinker or user of sorts but it’s prob for the best bc she’s such a lightweight lmao

can be like four different people when she’s drunk so.. yeah js hahaha

so she’s sometimes that chick™ that has a wild time at a party but surprise !! she’s stone cold sober

has a slight oral fixation ig ? not in a sexual manner though so don’t get any ideas hahaha

.. ok maybe a little but it’s rly innocent on her part 99% of the time. you’ll almost never see her without a straw in her drink for example; she’s also a lollipop and liquorice hoe so yeah

she’ll never bite her nails though, at least not beyond a light nip that’s p subconscious when she’s concentrating on something

.. funny how i typed more about this than her feelings abt her major rIP

but listen when i say that she’s lowkey freaky i fucking meant it lmAO. idek if she realizes it herself but yeah.. she’s not that pure sdhfkg i hate myself for this you doNT UNDERSTAND

so that’s seulie !! if you’d like to plot, just like this or message me, i’ll try to get back to you as soon as i can !

[rollertoasteroflife]

Hey get ready for more info abt me than you prob wanted to know

Tagged by @katyaton heyyy I was gonna sleep but you know I love oversharing so here we go!!!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. <—pah yeah we all know i’m gonna tag two people...

LAST…

Drink: water, it’s hot and I’m dying

Phone call: Err dunno hang on. apparently it was a missed call who i ddin’t know the number of and didn’t leave a message so I ignored it. Actually spoke to was my Grandma.

Text message: My friend who I’m meeting with tomorrow as I want to drag her along if I get my ear pierced.

Song you listened to: Beyonce’s Flawless. I was having a mid beyonce binge on youtube ok

Time you cried: I was cryingwith laughter earlier because of my research...i posted one of the funny things on here and then the rest were jst stories that I find hilarious. Humanity is a disaster

HAVE YOU…

Dated someone twice: I’ve been on precisely 1 date so nope

Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah

Been cheated on: Have never dated so nope

Lost someone special: Yes

Been depressed: *shoves my nearly 7 years of depression under the rug* no why do you ask??

Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yeah twice. First time I let my drunk friend get me a drink and she just poured abput 7 types of different straight liquors into a pint glass and I drank the whole thing. to be fair it tasted nice but yeah violently sick. 2nd time was after my meds were upped and I didn’t realise it would affect me so badly...I was still drunk and throwing up the next day which was unfortunately my last day of work...my boss didn’t mind though thank god. but yeah i have since learnt that i can have about three drinks and then i have to stop.

Made new friends: Yeah, for someone who is antisocial I have a surprising amount of friends

Fallen out of love: no

Laughed until you cried: All the time. I am very emotional,,,

Found out someone was talking about you: I can’t think of anything but probably? dunno i have an awful memory

Met someone who changed you: Well yeah everyone helps shape you

Found out who your friends are: Don’t really agree with this as a concept, yeah I’ve lost friends but if it wasn’t right for them then no worries. 

Kissed someone from your Facebook list: Does this mean like list of facebook friends? If so yeah, I kiss my friends a lot (not on the lips just like forehead kisses etc i’m affectionate when i want to be shush) and then have also had drunk friends kiss me and just been like aight ok then

Kissed a stranger: One of said drunk friends kissing me I think was the first night I met him?? Not sure

Drank hard liquor: yep

Lost glasses/contact lenses: All the fucking time D: I lost my glasses for over a  day and then found them in the glasses case which i never put them in...i am dumb

Turned someone down: 1 person

Sex on the first date: Nope i haven’t

Broken someone’s heart: I don’t think so?

Had your heart broken: Yes.

Been arrested: Do I seriously seem like I lead that interesting a life??

Cried when someone died: Yes.

Fallen for a friend: ahahah I have this fun thing where once I am very close and comfortable with a friend I can’t work out if I am romantically or sexually interested in them or not as well as caring about them as my friend??? It’s weird and I don’t know how I feel about it. Usually I just ignore it but yeah if any of those friends initiated something I’d probs go with it out of curiosity. I kind of wish it didn’t happen it’s confusing.

Kissed on the first date: no i haven’t

GENERAL

List 3 favorite colors: blue, red and purple

How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, except like a few friends of friends

Do you have any pets: A dumb cat, an overly excited dog, and 5 chickens

Do you want to change your name: I used to want to change my sirname, I went by a different one when I was younger but as it’s not legally my name we stopped using it. I was going to chage to it when i was old enough to not need parental permission but by then I have wayyyy too much paperwork in this name to be bothered to change it. But yeah my name is annoying and people get confused by it but at this point it’s just fun to mess with them :D 

What time did you wake up: somewhere between 9 and 10??

What were you watching at midnight last night: this damned laptop screen

Name something you can’t wait for: when i can see my dumb cat again

When was the last time you saw your mom: we skyped a few hours ago

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I had more control over the symptoms of my illnesses.

What are you listening to right now: my fan whilst my brain is relentlessly singing a mashup of Formation and Flawless-it’s catchy but like i wanna seep in a bit shut up brain

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah one of my childhood friends is called tom, we catch up now and then

Something that is getting on your nerves right now: My inability to actually relax and do something fun for simple enjoyment?? I am actually incapable of it

Most visited website: This shit hole

Mole/s: no

Mark/s: I accidentally stabbed myself in my thumb so that has a lovely scar on it as it went through to the muscle. I also have two scars on my face from when I was a toddler but one people don’t really notice as it’s under my nose and the other is mistaken for a dimple as it is literally a small gauge out of my face. i think that’s it?

Childhood dream: Apparently I wanted to play violin to the sharks...I was an odd child...

Do you have a crush on someone: No

What do you like about yourself: I like to think I’m mildly amusing at least

Piercings: ONe in each ear lobe but I’m actually planning on getting another in the top of my left ear tomorrow. shall see if I actually do it hah

Blood type:I don’t actually know?? And apparently you can’t just get them to check despite the fact that I’ve had a blood test so it should be on record?? But yeha I dunno

Nickname: abby is a nick name, also abs, and hoenstly just make a sound near me and I’ll probably answer! I have a lot of very bizarre nicknames and I also respond to insults...i respond to mos t things weirdly

Relationship status: Single

Zodiac:Leo

Pronouns: She/her

Favorite TV show: pushing daisies, yuri on ice, merlin, brooklyn 99, parks and rec, god so many...i watch too much tv....

Tattoos: None but I like them. However have chickened out each time I had an opportunity. I frequently daydream about ones I woould like though.

Right or left hand: Right handed but i can actually use either hand for most things which i great wehn I’m working and one hand gets tired, my uni friends all hate me for it!

Surgery: nah

Hair dyed in different color: Have tried it but my hair doesn’t hold onto dye for more than about two weeks at most. who knows why? not me

Sport: I used to row but not anymore. I practise archery but haven’t been since christmas as I wasn’t well enough to drive there. I want to start up again as I now have a new bow

Vacation: I’m debating joining a friedn in spain for a few days near her birthday but dunno if it will plan out. but like a proper vacation pahaha what do you take me for?? an adult with money???

Pair of trainers: Only have one I actually exercise in as finding ones thta fit is hard as i have odd feet. i also have hiking boots and converses

Current and all-time best friend name: I have had best friends in the past but none have ended well so instead I simply have quite a few close friends ( like seriously I have a lot of poeple that are my friend sand I have no idea why becasue i am a disaster)

Eye color: blue

Favorite movie: errr so many....ever after, mulan, httyd, just so many i can’t think i don’t have favs ok?!

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: have never really had a proper kiss so imma say hugs as I am secretly an octopus and will wrap myself around people when I want company (legit and I’m not a small person but people let me and it’s nice)

Lips or eyes: Eyes

Shorter or taller: *Both is good gif* both are excellent hugging options

Nice arms or stomach: *has just spent about 3 minutes randomly daydreaming about a variety of nice tummies and arms in detail* erm yes...

Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

Hook up or relationship: Relationship (though the thought of having a relaationship is also terrifying...)

Troublemaker or hesitant: errr fuck ok i am not good at deciding ok arghhh both is good D:

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Yourself: *looks at both my low self esteem issues and my tendencies to be supremely arrogant* juries out

Miracles: yes

Love at first sight: no

Santa Claus: Well i used to

Tagging *drum roll* yaaaa guessed it @showmethestarlight and @deaded123

overshare with me, my weird losers

[wingheadshellhead]

Hi, I love your blog! So I've been reading a lot of 616 stevetony lately, and I've noticed that in both canon and in a lot of fiction, Steve seems to really dislike Extremis (even before superior iron man). Why do you think that is? Even without looking at this with shipper goggles (which I always am), I think it's really strange that Steve has so much disdain for something that essentially saved one of his best friend's lives.

(THIS HAS TAKEN ME 5 BILLION YEARS BUT HERE IT IS FINALLY)

i used to be in the same boat and automatically assumed steve’s dislike of extremis was one of those fandom headcanon things that was so commonly accepted it’d basically become fact, but it’s really, actually, all 100% canon. but the comics that deal with it happen right before civil war so i think many ppl have simply forgotten or skipped over that part of tony’s timeline.

execute program is the 6-issue arc that comes right after extremis and it’s the main thing i tell everyone they have to read if they’re putting themselves thru the ringer that is 616′s civil war. it is so so important to understanding tony’s headspace and where he’s at before the events of civil war occur. 

READ EXECUTE PROGRAM. a) bc it’s absolutely crucial to tony’s side of civil war, b) the follow-through from the extremis arc is just… amazing, virtuosic. i really genuinely think it is a fascinating, excellently-written arc, c) when it gets gay it gets very gay. truST ME you do not need your shipper goggles for this at all bc guess which of the following things are canon: the sound of steve saying his voice being the only thing that snaps tony out of (likely a dissociative episode) trying to murder a villain that nearly kills peter, dyeing his hair blond when he’s going on the run, tony stopping his heart to save steve’s life. all of them !!! all canon !!!!!! 

extremis is, basically, terrifying. to the average human being, hell even the average superhuman. it’s p much unfathomable the sheer level/magnitude/scope of extremis. extremis allows tony to access and control any piece of technology on earth and even in earth’s atmosphere, he can hear satellites. it’s like having the singularity as a superpower. 

so part 1, iron man vol. 4 #7 (2006), opening issue and we have tony stopping a villain with lethal force, all while counting down the milliseconds and bidding on priceless artefacts.

now, avengers don’t kill. and tony doesn’t, he stops the man’s heart, then restarts it, basically performing defibrillation. 

and then we get this conversation: 

and after tony jets off leaving the new avengers to sort out the aftermath, we get this disturbing reminder:

a proper reread might prove me wrong but i don’t think the writers ever clarify whether this transformation in tony’s personality is due to extremis or outside manipulation (which is the culmination of execute program’s arc as i’ll go into in a bit). but when your brain is literally a machine and you Have Become more machine than human, this is the natural progression of tony’s humanity – the aspects of compassion, empathy, etc. – fading into the background to accomodate for extremis. 

extremis brings out everything about tony that steve (and possibly the world) fears most. it makes him cold and calculating, and with a brain like tony stark’s elevated by the superhuman capacity to think and react at the speed of a machine, he’s unstopppable.

part 2, iron man vol. 4 #8, we have tony nearly straight up burning a man alive for almost killing peter and laughing about it. 

he’s so deep in Destroy Mode that he doesn’t even register steve’s warning, and here i think he acts entirely out of instinct –– like extremis is thinking for him rather than his brain prompting him to do this. 

extremis is also the cause of tension between tony and the newly-formed new avengers (one of my favorite line-ups!!), he almost gets into a fight with logan and jessica has to break them up. it turns out tony is missing time in his memory, which is extremely worrying for someone w/ his level of power…

what’s so fascinating about extremis, and why we have so much to thank warren ellis for (the writer of the extremis arc), is that it is the perfect and the most logical climax of the modern iron man story. tony’s worst villain, as we’ve known since the very beginning really, has never been anyone else but himself. and in the case of extremis, it’s a highly technologically advanced version of himself that can do and be everything he’s ever dreamed of being able to achieve vs. him. 

the question extremis asks is at what cost? at what cost does technological advancement, bleeding-edge breakthroughs, and the spirit of human innovation come at? how far would tony go to become the Ideal version of himself that he sees as superior in every way? what would he sacrifice for that?

extremis represents basically the pinnacle of sci-fi tech in iron man comics, it’s why even god awful superior iron man used a 3.0 version of it as the foundation for tony’s sins. it’s the farthest point he’s ever reached, and it’s also the lowest in terms of the damage and fallout that comes from it. because ofc, tony stark can’t have nice things like this, but also bc the hubris + nature of extremis allowing its host to play god can’t exist without there being negative consequences. really b ad consequences. 

huge respect to danial & charles knauf, the authors of execute program, too, because they find a way to perfectly bring the arc full circle as ellis did with his extremis. the central villain plot revolves around ho yinsen’s son. the kid hacks extremis and uses it to control tony, sending him to subconsciously assassinate a bunch of people on his kill list, i.e. a list of all the men involved in yinsen’s death. i mean like, HOLY SHIT, an iron man plot where a literal ghost from tony’s past – a direct victim of events tony was involved in, the son of the man that sacrificed his life so iron man could be born and so tony stark could live – shows up, weaponises tony’s own body + technology and uses him to murder people who are scheduled to participate in a peace summit despite the blood on their hands and the human cost of their involvement in the weapons industry.

DRAWING PARALLELS BETWEEN YINSEN’S LIFE’S WORK AND TONY’S LIKE DEATH AND DYING WOULD BE KINDER. again bc of my memory or even regardless due to constant retcons + reruns of the iron man origin story, i don’t know if it’s ever been explicitly stated before that yinsen also got into the weapons industry in order to get the funding necessary to support his other revolutionary work. but his son literally conflates yinsen with tony here, blending them into one + the same with that final panel and it becomes very obvious that at least a small part of him blames father for entering into weapons design. if he hadn’t, he might never have been captured by the the terrorist group that wanted him and tony to build them missiles. 

also, yinsen + villains involving yinsen are a recurring theme in iron man history but can we talk abt the fact that tony has never ever let himself forget the man bc jesus christ

yinsen’s kid is killed by a SHIELD sniper, activating the dead man’s switch and unleashing all the peackeeping units tony built that are now compromised. now, tony’s no jean grey or wanda maximoff but if this arc shows anything it’s not to underestimate him bc intentional or not (lmao) if he put his mind to it there’s literally no limit to the damage he could do. 

we see various heroes fighting off the peacekeeping units, and the new avengers are at the peace summit fighting a hulkbuster. 

and here it is people !!! the 23989485th time tony kills himself so steve can live. 

JUST. THE LOOK ON HIS FACE. AND THEN THIS ABSOLUTE LACK OF HESITATION:

so, yes. extremis was traumatising for pretty much every single person involved. steve has extremely good reasons for HATING extremis, even in the early stages or even if a fic is taking place before the events of execute program.

if you read the full arc, you’ll see tony running himself into the ground with his new abilities (world’s greatest multitasker can now multitask 192483958 things at once? ofc he’s going to use and abuse and exploit that), you see him spiralling and losing his grip on reality (mainly because he’s actually having dissociative episodes and losing time due to being remotely controlled to assassinate ppl but also bc of the Effect extremis is having on him). i brought up wanda and jean earlier as a casual reference but like, to put it in that kind of perspective, people just weren’t made to have this much power.

on a smaller scale, apart from eating up all of tony’s time and attention and mental health in a really bad way, it just Distances him from everyone. especially from the team. it’s Isolating, having this much going on in his brain and no one else in the world to fully understand it. 

and on steve’s side, you also have the fact that tony’s genius is both one of the things he loves and lowkey resents most about him. he has this deep-set anxiety about tony with all his brilliance and intelligence leaving him behind in the dust, or worse, laughing at him and how outdated and dim-witted he is in comparison. this is steve’s version of tony’s “i’m never going to be good enough for him”, a sentiment summed up in a quote from him as early as tales of suspense vol. 2 (1995): “yes, tony stark, a man of today and tomorrow is the man i’ll never be.” he’s so afraid of being abandoned + alienated by tony’s mind and the future that tony’s worked so tirelessly to build that might render him irrelevant. he’s scared of a future where he has no purpose, but more or just as importantly, he’s scared of becoming obsolete in tony’s life, of not being needed by tony anymore. one of the things that endeared him so much to tony, and which laid the foundations of their lifelong friendship, was the fact that from Day One (1), tony made him feel At Home. he never let him feel ashamed or isolated as The Man Out Of Time, he actively worked to make steve feel comfortable and to give him the things he needed to acclimatise and to fit himself into this brave new world. 

extremis undoes all of that. it propels tony so far and so fast into the future that it makes tony untouchable to steve. all of the ‘i can hear satellites’ stuff renders steve helpless and even more out of his depth than usual. it presses all of steve’s secret buttons and then some.

to sum this all up, and to finish my extra rambling abt tony bc u asked me about extremis and i couldn’t not finish with this:

here we have, ladies and gentlemen, everything u need to understand abt tony going into civil war. and it’s not on any of the official civil war fucking reading lists which really pisses me off because whether or not they did it on purpose the knaufs basically wrote all of execute program as the perfect precursor and characterisation groundwork for an antebellum tony stark. 

a tony stark who was just very recently manipulated against his will into assassinating people and causing a world-threatening incident that could have resulted in the deaths of thousands, including his own friends and teammates (and the love of his life), is a very different tony stark to the one ppl see in civil war #1.

what happens in stamford was an accident, too. no one meant for that to happen. tony knows first fucking hand what that means and what it feels like to carry that responsibility and guilt. his position in civil war supporting the SHRA is not only to protect the potential lives that could be lost in another stamford incident but also to protect superhumans and superheroes from ever being exploited against their will by villains to kill and hurt and destroy. 

superheroes are inherently susceptible to being used, it’s just part of the narrative convention –– a superhero is brainwashed or mind controlled or otherwise forced against their will to do something awful. and even if it’s not their fault there needs to be  accountability  for the victims. both the victims that suffer directly because of superhuman incidents but also the superheroes that become victims of ppl who abuse their powers. it’s abt protecting superheroes not just from civilians but from themselves. and if u’ve read a single comic u kno that this kinda shit happens way too often and way too easily.

sO YE S T hIS iS W HY. AND IT Ex PL AINS SO MUC H AND i j UST WISH P PL WOULD GODDAMN REA D THIS. LIKE EVERYONE WHO EVER WANTS TO SAY ANOTHER A GODDAMN THING ABOUT TONY STARK IN CIVIL WAR NEEDS TO FIRST READ EXECUTE PROGRAM FIRST OR PAY ME $10

anyway…………… one last time, i’m so so so sorry this took forever to get to. hope the wait was worth it!

[curioscurio]

just saw a post abt coran headcannons and wanted 2 make one :)

yall  think shiro’s space dad but its actually a part time job that he shares with coran

he feed u soup and keeps u worm when ur sick

but when HE’S sick he’ll either work till he’s dying or keep it from everyone. He’ll completely deny he has anything unless it puts the team in danger (ex: lightly poisoned? mamma didn’t raise no pussy. Contagious poison? don’t touch me im sterile) 

sleep is a suggestion to him. Alteans don’t need as much sleep as humans anyway, but coran is constantly awake and ON THE MOVE. basically a cryptid

he’s always around in case any of the paladins have nightmares or insomnia at night or something and makes them sweet root tea or something. :’’-)

eyes and markings glow when super happy or excited (allura too!)

he’s ripped as fuck hes goddamned beefy and when the paladins find out they’re like: ?!?!?!?!

lance: he’s..... thicc

coran has no favorites (lance) but will go the extra mile to make every paladin laugh if they’re feeling down

talks to the lions when repairing them or just hanging around them. he tells them stories and jokes. blue thinks he’s sweet but green nearly falls over laughing bc she thinks he’s so funny. then when he tells a pidge a joke and she doesnt get it he’ll grumble and say smthng like “green would have laughed..”

this guy CAN FLIRT 

seriously, one time they were on a mission and both coran and allura were there for diplomatic reasons and the prince of the alien planet started getting fresh with allura. coran swoops in.gently takes his hands. leads him away from allura looking into his eyes. he’s got the most charming voice and smile ad says something like “ i can see the universe in your eyes” tHE ALIEN IS DEAD HE’S ENDED. 

paladins have memes about him 

“vore me daddy coran” (this is his least favorite)

* pidge goes up to the beefiest alien with the biggest muscles ever* “coran... is that you... how did you get here...”

*lance and keith making out* “you know who’s the best?” “hmm?” “coran” “lance what hte fuck”

they actually love him a lot and when they’re concerned abt him he doesn’t quite get it bc he’s the advisor not a paladin or the princess?? ‘why would you guys worry about me im replacab-” “NO??? FUCK OFF??? YOU’RE THE BEST???”

has TONS of tiny scars on his hands from mechanic work but they’re so fucking smooth and soft like a little baby hand. everytime he takes them off u can hear someone running down the hall “GLOVES OFF” and someone dives to the ground to hold his hand

WANTS TO FIGHT EVERYTHING? 

i mean he’s very diplomacy first and shit but if someones down to fight or threatening the paladins... gloves off. he socks them right in the face and starts a huge fight which he wins. it’s actually a little scary.like he’s all dirty and torn up and wiping blood from his nose with his knuckles and spits on the guy he just pummled. the guy is crying. he turns back to the paladins with a wide grin and and goofy laugh “sore losers am i right ;-)”

allura can beat him in a fair fight and he doesn’t hold back (too much) 

hands shake when anxious and gets real clumsy. ;ike theres a line. normally he has sturdy hands, if he’s nervous or anxious or paranoid they shake like the devil and he trips over stuff and you want to keep him out of the mechanic room (unfortunately thats the first place he’ll go) however he can stitch up your wound faster than lightning, and is very calm in the face of real hardcore danger

Paladin specific headcannons under the cut:

Lance:

would die for coran and vice versa

reminiscence about home planets together

is very gentle with coran, even though coran is usually the rock 

GOD HE GETS SO ANXIOUS ABT HIM SOMETIMES LIKE coran will do something incredibly dangerous like hanging from the rafters upside down (he’s done it so many times) or going days on end without sleep (really it’s for a project) or engineering something with dangerous substances that often can and will blow up in his face ( i s2g i will save u from another explosion)

complains to the paladins about the shit coran makes him go through but also wouldn’t have it any other way

Pidge:

TERRIBLE INFLUENCE ON HIM

both of them will collaborate on a project and then you won’t see them for days.

they live in the Castle Basement where they do experiments and shit. Pidge is worse than Coran about sleep so they have a couch down there that coran will carry pidge to and lay her on if she falls asleep during work.

if pidge is with him, coran makes sure to schedule breaks and snack times so pidge doesnt crash horribly. he brings her food and makes sure they don’t stay cooped up for weeks.

pidge knows this which is why she helps him so often ( that and she really enjoys learning new altean tech and hanging w him) 

will march in and drag coran from a project if she thinks he needs to take a break or a NAP 

Hunk: 

hunk loves to draw and sketch and whittle and stuff in his spare time! coran can barely hold a pencil. hunk teaches him how to draw and paint and coran just loves it so much. “coran what are you painting” “it’s a sworlump” “it looks nice” 

in turn coran teaches hunk how to whittle. hunk has shaky hands so learning this is helping him be more confident with his strokes and dexterity! 

hunk can FIND coran. he’s got a detector. he senses him. if corans sick or smthng or injured but trying to hide it he can sniff it out like a hound dog and is the only one that can actually get him to rest or visit the medbay. usually ends up carrying him there. i love hunk. 

Keith: 

it’s not that he doesn’t worry about coran (he does a lot) he just gets pissed a lot bc he doesnt get why coran can’t see how important he is. 

but also trust coran to know his limits 

wants coran to spot him when he trains bc if he’s training with the other paladins he has to keep a stoic face and perfect form. but since he does it to burn out stress, he gets really messy and emotional and nasty when he does it. like he’ll get so frustrated and cry and tear shit up and halfheartedly swing his bayard until he’s all drained. 

coran doesnt ever judge and makes sure he doesn’t go past his limits or something. can calm him down if he’s super distressed without it feeling patronizing. 

Shiro:

SHIRO HAS A MAJOR CRUSH ON CORAN LMFAOOO

GETS FLUSTERED AROUND HIM ALL THE TIME

coran: *smiles*

shiro: i would die for you

can train comfortably with coran as well as allura! but allura is sometimes too intense for him and he needs someone who is really in control of the whole thing. coran knows how to disable his arm if things get too wack. coran is a really good parter to spar with bc he likes to do funny banter and keeps shiro from getting lost in his head. 

shiro will eat anything coran hands him without hesitation. everyone else is??

turns out shiro has no taste buds but it makes coran happy so

coran once had to carry shiro out of battle bridal style and shiro couldn’t stop blushing for hours 

Allura: 

they’re so mischievous together lmfao

you’d think coran would be the one to be like “no allura you could get hurt!!” but unless it’s a huge life or death situation he’s such an enabler for her and vice versa. “HEY ALLURA I BET YOU CAN’T SHOOT THIS APPLE FROM KETIHS HEAD LL THE WAY FROM THE BRIDGE” “coran you fool i am the strongest one on this ship i can do anything” They’ll both find the most dangerous animal on whatever planet they’re on and ride it. coran used to be against her drinking and stuff but now that theres been a war going on they’ll basically do shots together and talk abt altea. THEY LOVE TO FUCK WITH THE PALADINS 

“oh no!! it seems Lance has caught the.. uh.. Altean stomach worms...”

“oh yes princess... so sad. we will miss you lance.rip in peace”

“princess have you drunken your florppinus potion this month?”

“ ...........OH YES THAT ONE. YES IM ALL READY FOR THE RECKONING. PRAISE THE ALLENIUM”

coran: did you know alteans can breathe pure quintessence?

lance: :O

allura: *holds up a jar of mouthwash* it’s so beautiful

[leaughrilke]

Outside of their family, how are the kids doing socially? Do they make friends, trust people easily? Do they have a hard time keeping their powers a secret? Does one of their moms being a Luthor affect the way people act around them? How do they deal with their moms kinda being in the public eye?

oof well this started fluffy and got angsty and then got cute again so do with that what u will

so for the most part?  the kiddos do alright!!!  they rlly do, like they’re all enough like kara that ofc they attracts ppl like moths to flame

finn’s like easily one of the most popular kids in school, starting from elementary school and like he’s not one of the traditionally popular boys??  like he’s not a jock and he’s not one of those uber macho dudes but he cares so deeply and fully and like all the girls love him to death and all the uber macho dudes for the most part love him to death as well 

like he’s rlly soft and kind and remembers ppls birthdays and who has a nut allergy so he always makes sure to make a separate safe batch of baked goods for bake sales.  he’s that kid that’s got tabs on everyone and knows who is having a bad week and who might need someone to eat with at lunch and he makes it look so fun to be nice??  that he just manages to lead by example and national city prep academy is a nicer place for him being in it

maia’s that ride or die friend like she’s super intense and kind of scary tbh but god when she picks you, she Picks you and she’ll keep picking you, keep standing up for you, keep vehemently defending u until her dying day tbh like she loves so much like kara, once she sees the good in you, once she’s decided ur one of her ppl, she’ll fight everyone in her sight for u and that is so wildly appreciated, like she has all the girls at school wanting to have her on their side, in their corner and the best thing is that she is, she will be, no questions asked

like??  she’s not half as soft as finn but she’s just as caring, just as loving and she like??  doesnt have a cult following, but she definitely is that hot ass senior that has all the underclassmen stumbling over themselves bc she nodded at one of them in the hall during passing period and stella dies a little inside bc all her friends are in love with maia to some degree

stella is the one that struggles the most socially??  bc everyone loves finn and maia doesnt give a shit if some ppl dont like her, barely notices it, but stella is a little quieter and a little bit different and she kind of weirds ppl out bc she’s just as intense as maia but she doesnt have the cool factor, she stumbles over her feet and stammers and gets easily overwhelmed and most ppl get a little weirded out by how stella always seems to know how they’re feeling??  can sort of predict whats coming in a conversation???

but god when she makes friends, they are so so protective of her.  like??  stella is disliked by a lot of ppl, is a pretty easy target but her friends love her so so deeply bc she knows how to help them best, is v careful with their feelings in a way that not a lot of kids think to be u know??  she’s not the most popular, but she’s p well insulated by the time she hits high school, has a rlly solid group of friends that stick close to her

this kind of goes hand in hand with the first part but here’s some other anecdotes lmao

finn makes friends so so easily like that boy walks into a room and within the first ten minutes he’s already got five new friends like??  he’s probably one of those student ambassadors, shows all the new kids around the campus tbh and like for sure has brownies or something to give them

like???  he’s for sure voted mr congeniality.  For Sure.  he collects friends and favors so easily and so quickly and he loves them all so much, you would think that maybe some friendships arent as deep as others and that’s true, but that doesnt mean he doesnt love those friends just as much, wouldnt drop what he’s doing to go pick them up bc their car died on the highway

that said, he doesnt trust super easily??  like he’s p wary in general, a little more suspicious of ppl than he ever lets on.  like it takes him a Long time to rlly ever tell his rlly close friends any big details abt himself.  it takes him even longer to ever invite ppl over to the house, even tho his moms are like you can??  pls do??  have a childhood kiddo

maia takes a little longer to make friends i think??  but that’s more a matter of her not noticing someone is trying to be friends with her, like she’s sort of above it all a lot of the times, often wrapped up in her own head.  but like i said, she’s p intense so once she’s noticed, she’ll dive in head first like all in, ride or die

and its so funny bc she is so so like non-plussed by things like what movie to see or stuff like that, she’s kind of a rlly great friend without meaning to??  like oh, yall were planning to do a mall night but ur period started and u dont have the energy and now u just want to lie around and eat ice cream??  she’ll pick up ur fave flavors and probably a couple redbox rentals and is down for a movie night, maybe becomes ur favorite person in that exact moment

she actually trusts ppl more easily than finn, if only bc generally the ppl that are more insistent abt actually getting to know her, not just that scary person she puts forward are usually ppl that genuinely care abt her and want the best for her??  that said, she gets in with a bad crowd and dates this super fucking awful abusive asshole that sort of destroys that innate trust for a while.  she gets it back eventually, thanks to those friends she had before the entire experience, who stood by her even when she tried to push them away

stella takes the longest to make friends??  she’s like that shy kid in the corner that wont make eye contact but when she does u feel like she’s probably seen ur soul and knows all ur secrets (which....techincally she doesnt see souls and only knows maybe four or five of ur secrets) but she’s rlly sweet and v earnest and ppl sort of find her endearing after a while

like??  she finally finds her ppl when she joins the drama department and switches soccer teams and gets into debate and starts a chess club, like??  when she starts actually embracing who she is and not trying to model herself after maia or finn or kara or lena, when she sort of loses herself in doing things that are actually interesting to her and not just what gets her the least negative responses from other ppl, she makes so many friends !!!  like girl just has to get out of her own head sometimes

of the three kiddos, she definitely trusts the easiest, just bc like??  she knows what ppls intentions are, knows when someone’s hiding something from her or has ulterior motives for trying to befriend her.  like most of the work is done for her just at first meeting like she rlly doesnt have to worry too much abt trusting ppl

they all sort of struggle with hiding their powers??  some more than others for sure

like finn probably struggles more than maia??  bc maia keeps taking that power-suppressant all through school, but finn wants to learn to control himself, wants to not be as dependent on something else to make him more human, safer for others to be around.  so he wears the glasses and softens his touch and makes sure he never moves too quickly, gives up on sports and works hard to never get angry, never let the hum of his heat vision get too distracting 

its rlly hard when he’s around his friends, harder when he starts dating, bc other ppl dont have to worry abt the stuff he has to worry abt??  like he has to have like a lot of talks with kara abt it bc he gets overwhelmed a lot, worries a lot abt accidentally hurting someone he loves

maia on the other hand struggles more with the lying??  like she has this ride or die mentality and it fucks her up that she cant tell the ppl she trusts this giant secret abt her, this thing that defines her existence??  Fucks Her Up tbh like.....she’s like a vault, her friends confess all their shit to her and she hates that she cant do the same??  cant do that without endangering her brother and sister and moms and, rlly, her entire family and she’s not going to do that, wont ever do that

so like she struggles with that, but the actual powers part of it isnt as big of a thing for her bc she keeps taking the suppressant bc she just??  doesnt trust herself not to.  doesnt trust the power in her hands, like she wont take it on the weekends bc thats when kara trains her and finn, takes them to the deo to spar but during the week, when she doesnt have kara’s steady presence to ground her, finn’s quiet hand at her shoulder to stop her when she’s about to go too far

stella struggles with it but its different??  like she’s not hiding superhuman strength or the ability to fly or anything so conspicuous, but she has to like.....constantly monitor what she says and how she acts towards ppl that dont know like??  ppl get kind of weirded out when she knows stuff abt them or like....knows their heart or some shit when they’ve only rlly known each other for a few months

that said, she also gets away with a whole lot by just saying she’s rlly empathetic with this weird little smirk that her friends think is just her poking fun at the fact that she can be kind of spacey and not super aware abt other stuff all the time but lol little do they know

i mean??  at school??  most ppl dont know like she’s mrs danvers or (insert kiddos name)’s mom and like especially in elementary school, she’s not the one at pta meetings bc she knows what will happen if other parents see her and make the connection??  so its usually kara and she usually flies under the radar, like ppl kind of know that she’s the kara danvers from page six, wife of lena luthor and doing the gala circuit when needed, but no one ever like rlly registers it ya know??

likes the kiddos friends kind of put it together but she’s still just mrs danvers to them, their friends rlly cool mom that helps them do these rlly awesome science experiments when they come over and are bored.  a couple ppls parents find out and refuse to let their kids go over anymore and the kids dont understand why and lena like.....lost tbh.  like how does she explain that??  how does she let them know its her fault, that she did this to them by association and for that she is truly sorry

but like the kiddos rlly just let it roll of their backs like it only happens maybe a handful of times and their friends are still their friends at school

but like??  when they get older, they get more vocal, like??  they’re proud of their mother and theyre so fucking sick of hearing the weird, awful comments ppl make about luthors whenever lex winds up in the news again and maia reaches a point of just FUCK OFF levels of anger, starts screaming IM A LUTHOR TOO, MOTHERFUCKER when she tackles someone in the hallway after hearing superman should do the world a favor and just get rid of that entire rats nest during passing period and that’s sort of what outs them all

things change a little after that??  like most of their friends stick around, but there is definitely a wariness towards the danvers kiddos after that, but they bear it with pride, like finn and stella arent upset in the slightest.  like??  so they lost a couple friends; good, better leave now bc they love their mom a whole hell of a lot more than those ppl and that’s never going to change

like??  they rlly arent that aware of the weird spotlight they live in for a while when they’re small, particularly maia and finn like......kara and lena kept their relationship rlly rlly quiet for a long time.  like??  no one knew they were an item until they rlly needed to come out and say it, and then they got engaged and married rlly quietly, just family and lena kept her name professionally so no one rlly knew.  and they kept her pregnancy under wraps, not necessarily hiding??  but just not announcing it either and quite honestly the press doesnt know abt finn until some opportunistic pap gets a shot of kara and lena with little roly poly finn at the park, looking every bit the deliriously happy family they are.  its much the same for maia, with no one outside of their little circle of friends and family knowing abt her until someone catches a picture of them with two little ones, not one.  and like stella??  hell, stella doesnt rlly get a debut until she’s nearly four tbh and its bc she v seriously asks to be lena’s date to her gala and like how was lena going to say no to that request

that said, when they get older, they’re kind of prime targets for some asshole opportunistic paps to swarm and try and get quotes from, try and smear the luthor name some more.  lena issues a no nonsense statement that she’s fair game, but her children are off limits.  catco worldwide issues a similar statement, that the family lives of their reporters are not open for discussion and that such targeting of children is a reprehensible act that has no place in journalism

that helps, that and the ruthless way their family encircles them, fights the press and tabloids and fights to give the kiddos as normal of a life as possible.  and like???  they rlly do.  there’s a couple incidents where the heightened scrutiny was noticeable, but mostly??  the kiddos rlly dont notice, just flip the newspaper over when its lex on the front page or switch whatever gossip show off when the topic comes round to lena, little things like that that help them live as normally as they can