#and that the goal is acknowledging difference but seeing it as a neutral and something to be celebrated

[skylordhorus]

its such a bizarre feeling when ur suddenly necessitated to acknowledge a thought process that a. u didnt even notice was there because its so natural to u and b. that other ppl dont think like that

[fallingdownhell]

Takes place when the Sumeru 4 (Alhaitham, Kaveh, Cyno and Tighnari) are still Akademiya students.

You're that one quiet, unassuming classmate of theirs who wears large, nerdy glasses and your main goal is to graduate without any attention drawn to you

Too bad, that backfires when one day, you somehow forget to wear your glasses to class and all of your classmates realize just how pretty you are.

Cute, I like this one.

Characters Included: Alhaitham; Cyno; Tighnari; Kaveh

Content: gender neutral reader; nothing else as far as I am aware

Word count: 1,2k words

Something short and sweet. Have fun!

Alhaitham

he does a double take at you as he looks up from his book

he's heard the whispering among other students, but didn't pay much mind to them, thinking they were over exaggerating again, like they always do

when you walk into class, looking completely different than you usually do, it takes him by surprise

is that really you? can glasses really have that much of an affect on people's appearances?

well, whatever it is, he doesn't say anything to you, just simply focuses back on his book

throughout the day, he notices that you became the main attraction for everyone. People coming up to you and asking questions, swarming all over you

he had half a mind to ignore them and just leave the situation, but upon seeing how uncomfortable you felt, trapped in this situation, he supposed he could lend a helping hand

under the guise of having to talk to you about something related to a project, he removed you from the situation

he stayed with you until you reached a quiet corner in the house of Daena, where you thanked him for his help

he just nodded at you, not really saying anything further but just looking at you

you begin to feel uncomfortable again, what if he views you as an attraction of sort like those other people?

yet, he simply asks you why you're not wearing your glasses again

having not expected him to say anything, you answer that they broke the other day and you're still waiting for them to be repaired

he just nodded again, then left and went about his day, but not before telling you to seek him out should you require his help again

you look after him, dumbfounded, not sure why exactly Alhaitham, of all people, was engaging in conversation with you and offering up his help to you

little did you know that he thinks of you as quite cute without your glasses. In his mind, they could just stay broken so he could continue to admire you..

Cyno

Does not recognize you

AT ALL

He doesn't mean it in a bad way or anything, but you genuinely look like a completely different person to him without your glasses, so what is he supposed to think?

When you walk into class that day, he sees you and immediately walks over to you, asking you if you switched up your classroom since he's never seen you here before

you're confused about his statement, telling him that you're in the right room and that you've been part of this class for the last half year

again, does not believe you

even when you tell him your name, he refuses to acknowledge that it's really you. He thinks it's someone walking around and pretending to be you

you have to show him your ID and even then, he's still not fully convinced

after all, if what you're saying is true, then the only thing different about you is you not wearing your glasses. But that little thing can't have that much effect on your appearance... right?

He wants to argue more, but then the professor comes in, ending the discussion between you two. And after class, you're gone too quickly for him to engage again

the next day, you come into class with your glasses on again and he thinks everything is fine again

He walks up to you and strikes up a conversation with you. As he was about to mention yesterdays events, you proceed to take off your glasses in front of him

"Believe me now?", you asked him

he was dumbfounded

apologizes profusely to you, for at least a week straight. He can't believe he made such a fool of himself. Such an embarrassement!

You quickly forgive him, it's not like he meant anything bad or was harming you in any way. But that doesn't mean that you can't tease him about it every chance you get..

Tighnari

does indeed recognise you

Tighnari, I think, is a person that pays decent amount of attention to all his classmates. Not excessively, but a normal amount

so of course he notices the change in appearance almost instantly, since your glasses were a big part about your looks

however, he notices that people are whispering among themselves, talking about you

most are taking guesses on why you suddenly decided to not wear them. Some guess that they were broken, others think that you just forgot. And some not so nice people think that you're doing it for attention

because, now that you weren't wearing them, everyone could clearly tell how good looking you were

Tighnari found himself getting unreasonably frustrated with those mean people, claiming that you were just seeking attention

so, he decided to go up to you and strike up a conversation. You were confused, but at the same time pleasantly so, about this turn of events

because even if Tighnari paid attention to his classmates, that doesn't mean that he interacts with them often

so for him to go up and talk to you first was a big deal. You offered the seat next to you to him, which he took and sat down next to you

the two of you got into talking and as time went on, Tighnari continued to sit next to you, even after you started wearing your glasses again

he never questions you about it, since you must have your reasons for it

he's happy as long as he get to talk to you, since during all that time, he actually grew quite fond of you...

Kaveh

also doesn't really notice it

Kaveh is always deep with his nose in another architectual project, focused mostly on him and his ideas

he doesn't mean it in a rude way, it's just that he has many ideas and he has to write them down constantly or he forgets about them

so yeah.. mainly focuses on himself than the people in his classroom, but he tries to stay friendly with everyone and keep nice conversations with them

one day, he is assigned to work on a project together with you and the two of you decide to move to the House of Daena where it's more quiet so you can properly brainstorm about it

during this brainstorming, Kaveh keeps staring at you. Honestly, it's really irritating to you , but you try to ignore it the best you can for the sake of your grades

meanwhile, Kaveh is deep in thought. He knows something is different about you, he's talked to you many times, so he's sure that you did something, but he can't quite place it and it's driving him crazy!

Until... he suddenly has a moment of realization!

he gasps out loud once he's gotten it, making you look at him questioningly

"Don't you usually wear glasses?", he asks you then, wanting to know your reason for leaving them

You hadn't thought he would notice this, to be honest. You tell him, truthfully, that you simply forgot to put them on this morning

"Hmm... you should do that more often. You look quite dashing without them on."

he says this matter-of-factly, then simply turning back to focus on the project. Meanwhile, you're a blushing mess from his unexpected compliment, yet he doesn't notice

he means what he said to you, but he didn't think it would have such an effect on you

but, thinking back on it now.. maybe this was the moment that the infatuation with each other started for the both of you...

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I think some people are annoyed that we can’t be friends with whatever characters we want but I really like it esp for the housewardens. It shows us that everyone’s different and maybe some people need more time to trust others or maybe they don’t want to open up in the first place. It says a lot about how diverse and strong Twst’s characters are.

Oooh that’s a very good point you brought up! ^^ Even within just the dorm leaders themselves, there’s a wide range of relationships and relationship evolutions that we’ve witnessed (in regards to them and Yuu):

Riddle doesn’t particularly respect Yuu at the start; while he’s not overtly super ruse, he still views them as a troublemaker no different than his freshmen. Post chapter 1, we can see that Riddle has warmed up considerably and seems to consider Yuu a friend that helps to keep an eye on Ace and Deuce when they’re not at Heartslabyul. He does cute little things for Yuu, like fixing their necktie for them, routinely thanks them for favors, and offers to help them or show them around. Most notably, Riddle is one of the dorm leaders that is most open about what he is doing to try and reconcile with his childhood trauma (which he communicates to us in the start of episode 4).

Leona is consistently abrasive towards Yuu from the very beginning to the current state of the main story. Their first encounter involves Leona about to fight Yuu for stepping on his tail, and throughout the second episode, he just continues picking on Yuu and their friends, whether in games or in actual battle. He still seems very closed off and reluctant to help Yuu later on (unless it also personally benefits him, like in the case of episode 3), and isn’t interested in becoming friends (Leona still looks very annoyed when Grim calls out to him in episode 5).

Azul doesn’t think of Yuu as anything special; while still professional, he initially sees them as another sucker to bait into a deal and take advantage of to acquire more assets for himself. According to Azul, Yuu doesn’t have any traits or skills worth taking—they’re unremarkable in every way to him. However, following episode 3, Azul is more willing to lend them a helping hand and to hear them out when they’re in need of help, most notably when the Scarabia mobs are chasing Yuu and Grim. Like Leona, Azul has his own reasons for wanting to assist, but at least he’s now taking Yuu’s word a little more seriously instead of taking them for another fool. Something else that’s interesting is that Azul’s business mindset still overrides his social interactions in the main story; he doesn’t give Yuu or anyone else overtly special treatment just because they’re on better terms or because Yuu literally saved his life.

Kalim is always pretty friendly and welcoming to Yuu, the same as he is with any other student or faculty member. Jamil, on the other hand, saw Yuu similarly to how Azul did: as some tool he could use to get his way. After the events of episode 4, Jamil no longer treats Yuu like someone he can weaponize to achieve his own goals, but treats them like how he treats everyone else with that stoic, diligent facade he always puts up. If I had to describe this, it’s like… Yuu was at a negative before, and now they’re on relatively neutral grounds? Or maybe Jamil feels that Yuu is a kindred spirit, considering they both need to constantly babysit dummies—

Vil is the dorm leader that is most consistently polite to Yuu, both before and after his Overblot. He acknowledges Yuu as his equal and thinks that they can play an important supportive role in the VDC group as their manager. Vil is very strict, but he isn’t unfair and he doesn’t chide Yuu for things out of their control or things they had no direct involvement in (ie Vil didn’t use his UM on Yuu because they didn’t eat the cake or pie that Trey made for them). After the OB, Vil is extremely apologetic to Yuu and even funnels his winnings to help renovate Ramshackle Dorm.

Idia doesn’t have a lot of time to engage with Yuu, but since he dislikes socializing, he, by extension, also dislikes Yuu and closes himself off from them. However, by the end of episode 6, Idia is making a genuine effort to reach out to others and hang out with them! He’s playing video games over at Ramshackle Dorm with Yuu and co~

Malleus’s episode hasn’t been released yet, but we’ve slowly been watching his and Yuu’s friendship come together over the course of the main story. Yuu’s the one person he’s met in his life that isn’t afraid of him and treats him like an equal (albeit in part due to Yuu’s ignorance about who he actually is), and we see just how much Malleus has come to cherish their company in the night. When he reveals his true identity to Yuu at the end of episode 5, then episode 6 skips addressing how their relationship has changed as a result of that discovery. 7 will likely pick up where this plot point left off, and I’m sure that many TWST fans are chomping at the bit to see how Malleus and Yuu’s dynamic will continue to develop.

In the end, it doesn’t feel like we’re super close to most of them (maybe varying degrees of “acquaintance” at most?), but it really helps in making Twisted Wonderland feel fleshed out! Different people, different personalities, different circumstances, different levels of comfort in opening up to and befriending others... The TWST cast is just really diverse!

[hxhhasmysoul]

Did u see these posts: https://linkspooky.tumblr.com/post/744136721881530368/hello-friend-i-thought-id-use-your-post-as-a . https://linkspooky.tumblr.com/post/744086250489774080/so-i-was-genuinely-surprised-last-week-when-we ? Honestly, I think am starting to dislike the Megumi & Killua comparisons more than I ever maybe did the Killua & Gojo ones (like I also saw a comment saying Megumi is smarter than Killua, and I don't think Megumi is dumb, but like how?). I'm not saying Megumi is a bad character, but he is not (imo) better-written or have a better arc than Killua (who has one of the best arcs ever).

P.S: Off topic from me complaining about Killua getting compared to JJK characters (which I was mostly neutral towards doing, but now, I might be becoming a bit less neutral). Great and pretty Palm, LeoPika, and Illumi's art u just reblogged!

The biggest problem with what that person writes is the value judgement. I don’t necessarily disagree with the stuff they say about Megumi, at least they see that Gojou forced Megumi into being a sorcerer and that’s rare. They also seem to acknowledge Megumi’s character flaws, even if I don’t exactly agree with every argument they make about him. And I especially don’t agree with how they compare Tsumiki to Alluka. 

They are right that Megumi tries to use others, Tsumiki and then Yuuji as justifications for his existence. And it’s true Killua uses the people he loves as a crutch because he has no goals of his own, because all his life the goals of others were forced onto him and he’s really lost at the beginning of HxH. 

The difference is that Killua’s relationships with Gon, Alluka and Nanika are very deep, he also grows close with others: Ikalgo, Palm, Bisky and Leorio, there’s clear potential for him developing a friendship with Canary. Killua also projects to some extent onto Gon, and onto Alluka too. But that’s something everyone does. Killua does it to a normal extent, the Gon in Killua’s mind is partially imagined and greatly coloured by Killua’s crush, but Killua quite often actually understands how Gon feels, or accurately reads the situation between them. The things he tells Gon don’t make Gon worse because they feed into Gon’s issues.

He does enable Gon, and he doesn't know how to help Gon after Kite's death, but his presence still helps Gon in those moments. He doesn't make gon better but he doesn't make him worse either, they are just two kids who are in a situation that's just too much for them to handle.

When Killua tries to enforce what he thinks is best onto Alluka and Nanika, Alluka puts him in his fucking place and he very clearly understands what he did wrong. Because he’s capable of seeing Alluka as a real person, he can see past the image of Alluka that exists in his head. 

Megumi’s relationships with Tsumiki and Yuuji are superficial, bordering on parasocial. The things Megumi tells Yuuji make Yuuji contract Megumi’s cog mentality. Megumi acts like he knows shit, how he's very smart and Yuuji buys into that, because Megumi reads a lot and knows long words. And Megumi also buys into that, and thinks he can talk with authority about who's to blame for what. Or which people deserve to be saved.

Megumi barely spends time with Yuuji in an active way, he just passively tags along and frowns and sighs, and he downright rejects Tsumiki and everything she stood for when she was conscious. He’s upset that Yuuji lashes out at Hana because Yuuji is mourning Nobara so fucking deeply. Megumi is taken aback because he never mourned Nobara, he never tried to get close to her, but more importantly, despite him thinking he cares about Yuuji, he has absolutely no clue how Yuuji is feeling. He projects his own idea as to who Yuuji is onto Yuuji. Yuuji the good selfless person who needs to be protected by Megumi but not engaged with, not reached out to. He has no idea who Yuuji really is or how he feels, nor does Megumi care. He never cared what Tsumiki felt or who she really was, and the whole situation with the bridge showed very clearly that Tsumiki led a life of her own and Megumi didn’t even know, and likely it wasn’t a completely pure and uwu life. But to Megumi what matters are his own made up versions of these two people. 

And this is actually okay, these are flaws and they are a consistent characterisation. I don’t like Megumi much but I will defend his right to be flawed, I will defend him from all the Gojou fans who pretend Gojou didn’t make a child soldier out of a little kid. Or who pretend that it isn’t clear that Gojou left Tsumiki and Megumi to fend for themselves in their daily life and just borrowed Megumi to force him to work so the two kids had a place to live and other necessities. And I will defend Megumi from anyone who tries to deny him his right to a fucking mental breakdow.

But what they write about Killua is extremely shallow, the mentions of Gon and Yuuji, and the paragraph about Maki, those are downright upsetting. They show very clearly that they will write whatever needed to prop up their fav. And I really don’t get what drives people to do this kinda stuff.

They honestly undermine their arguments (some very solid) about how nice Megumi’s arc is, because they can’t just argue their case. No, they need to bring another character into it and attack that character. It’s always a foolish thing to do. I get that they might not like Killua as much or think he’s overrated. But Killua was not needed for their argument. Everything they get wrong about Killua weakens their arguments about Megumi. And Killua’s relationships with his close ones really highlight the issue with Megumi’s. And the person never addresses that. 

I think I’ve seen maybe their posts or similar posts about Megumi, not exactly comparing him to Killua, but for example posts about how he’s the true MC of JJK, where Megumi’s fans argued about how complex Megumi is and how there’s nothing to Yuuji. And this person’s posts are just written to prop up Megumi by dismissing and discrediting other characters. 

The JJK fandom is vicious to most characters that aren’t sexymen. Megumi is much more liked in the fandom than Yuuji, but yeah, one can consider him disliked if one compares him to how people are about Gojou, Getou, Nanami, Touji, Chousou, Higuruma, Sukuna or even Kusakane, Shu and Ino. Also as they rightly notice Megumi isn’t overpowered so he gets a lot of shit, something Yuuta never gets. As to Maki, this person clearly doesn’t give a shit about her, so not only they very clearly didn’t pay attention to Maki post Mai’s death, they also have no idea what the fandom says about Maki. 

They also write as if the way the fandom treats Megumi is unique, when Yuuji gets that far more and over everything. Even Sukuna got that just because in the battle of JJK sexymen, Gojou truly is the strongest and his fans are fucking rabid and allergic to canon and the text of JJK. 

Gege’s love for HxH somehow creates the need in the JJK fans to compare the two stories and their respective characters, and I’ve never seen it done right. In this case it really just cheapens what they were trying to say.

[amaya-writes]

Hi! I was wondering if you can get JJK/ mha men reacting to reader with long hair that they had to cut their hair shorter (any short length) and are insecure? 🙏

Notes: sorry I only went with four characters for this one!

Warnings: n/a really

Characters involved: Gojo Satoru, Keigo Takami (Hawks), Aizawa Shouta, Nanami Kento

Gender-neutral reader, you/yours

Gojo Satoru

Immediately showers you with a hundred compliments.

Gojo understands that while others might think it's just a haircut, getting rid of your long hair after a lifetime of keeping it that way can be a jarring change.

This is why he wants to be by your side through the process and wants to ensure you feel as confident as possible.

If you're the type to use hair accessories a lot then he'll probably buy you a lot of different fancy clips, hairbands, etc. to compliment your new look.

He even goes out of his way to particularly compliment your hair when he's calling you pretty.

Overall, Gojo's pretty much like a hype guy who's constantly trying to reassure you.

Keigo Takami (Hawks)

Is way more subtle than Gojo.

Keigo doesn't outright point out your sudden change because he knows that can make you feel anxious especially since everyone else keeps on bringing it up. Instead he'll just tell you that you look pretty or subtly compliment your hair.

He doesn't exactly hype you up or anything but if Keigo realises you're a little nervous about the sudden change then he'll definitely have a small conversation with you where he basically tells you that you look good with both short and long hair and that you should own your new look.

Keigo's compliments centre more around trying to make you feel confident rather than trying to make you feel pretty.

If you're partners then he might even shower you in kisses and offer to help you style your new hair (tries to convince you to style it like his sometimes).

Aizawa Shouta

Aizawa knows what it's like to have people comment about your appearance since he's always kept his hair long (and someone always seems to have a problem with that).

When he first sees that you cut your hair short, his first concern is ensuring you like your new look and didn't cut your hair impulsively.

Once he establishes that Aizawa will tell you that as long as you're happy with your new hair then you shouldn't let anyone else's opinions get to you.

He's also one of the few people who realise how this change can impact you emotionally as well (since people generally tend to go through such drastic changes when they want to move on from their previous stage in life).

He'll sit you down and ask if something happened, etc. but won't pry too much unless the two of you are close.

If you changed your hair because you always wanted to do it/fjust felt like you needed a change then Aizawa won't really say much.

But if it's because you're trying to start a new phase in life he'll encourage you to pursue whatever goal you have your mind set on while also reminding you not to lose yourself along the way.

He's worked with impulsive teenagers long enough to know the starting signs of someone going through a phase and completely changing themself but then regretting it later and Aizawa would never want you to go through something like that.

It's why he just tries to ensure this new change of yours is more positive than the result of an existential life crisis.

Nanami Kento

Doesn't really react much.

This isn't because Nanami doesn't care but more because he knows you're probably overwhelmed with everyone in your life going on and on about their opinions of your sudden change and he doesn't want to add to that.

It's why he'll wait until the two of you have a moment to yourselves and just quietly tell you that you look good with your new hair.

He also tells you that your new hairstyle doesn't change his opinion of you, just as it shouldn't change your opinion of yourself.

Nanami doesn't really acknowledge your hairstyle after that. To him, that one conversation was enough to express his opinions and he doesn't see a point in bringing it up again.

However, if you both are partners he might buy you something like a silk hair bandana or another similar hair accessory that is classy yet can be used almost every day.

It's a meaningful gift that's supposed to subtly express his support.

[noisytenant]

Something I've been thinking about lately is viewing therapy, broadly, as "studying philosophies of wellness and care". A professional therapist is someone who is trained in viewing the world and your experiences through various lenses and trying to offer advice based on what would best create a sense of wellbeing. Of course, the notion of wellbeing itself is part of the philosophical question.

I think therapy, as a professional industry, is incredibly complicated and often profoundly violent. In the pocket of our violent political and economic system, it is for many people synonymous with a vision of wellness that believes in a normative body and mind, that believes "mental health" is an isolatable topic, that is uninterested in systemic analyses, that siloes off knowledge behind expensive institutions, and that prioritizes productivity and alienated self-sufficiency above all else.

It is thus no surprise that so many people are turned off from it completely. Just because the therapeutic industry is nominally focused on wellness does not mean that it is, on the whole, capable of or interested in meaningfully achieving it.

BUT. When we view therapy as a field that collects philosophies of wellness, we can understand that as the sum of its parts it is essentially agendaless.

Therapy "is neither good nor bad, nor is it neutral".

The rejection of wellness as a goal or even a possibility is itself a valid therapeutic philosophy. And there are essentially as many types of therapists as there are types of people--There are many accredited therapeutic practices that draw from philosophies outside the modern capitalist dogma, and each have their own benefits and issues.

If you approach your existing values and politics with the therapeutic lens in mind, you can see how a philosophy of wellness naturally emerges. It is impossible to live without some implicit notions of wellness, whether inherited or constructed. You may also notice how certain areas are lacking, confused, or contradictory, which I think is the natural state of the internal landscape. But by calling attention to the value of integrating disparate notions of wellness--From food and finances to religion and relationships, and all other areas of life--into a whole, you can work toward a more coherent way of living that supports your goals.

It can be illuminating to learn more about therapeutic frameworks when you view them not as medical advice but as ways of thinking. Even if you can't become an accredited expert, many therapeutic practices are innately comprehensible, and you can develop some knowledge about the language and beliefs of different systems through research. The right therapeutic practice can connect various personal truths under a single canopy, and as you learn more, you can move between different ways of thinking and approach the same challenge from multiple different perspectives. Aside from the time and energy spent, I think you can basically only gain from investigating diverse therapeutic thought for yourself, to the extent you feel drawn to do so.

Ultimately, I don't dream of a world where a large class of people act as paid confidants and philosophical experts to a generally clueless laity. Instead, I want every person to be able to acknowledge, articulate, and explore therapeutic philosophies and incorporate this knowledge into their everyday lives. This may, for some people, include working with professional therapists--I have been lucky to have had overally quite positive experiences, and for all my criticisms, I think that reframing therapy as a philosophical endeavor and encouraging research into its particular branches and practices is a key element in making the most of professional therapy.

I hope that some day we can see therapy as something we are all capable of accessing and learning from, not as a monolithic medicalized intervention or professional service but as a vocabulary for considering what affirms our lives.

I can't tell you what it means for you to take agency for your own wellness as you define it, but I think that it is something worth doing, because everyone deserves to feel well. Smiles

[faroreswinds]

Again, leaving behind a few troops wouldn't be enough. The army sieging the city should be larger than the army being besieged or else the siege is useless especially if you can't cover the city from receiving supplies. Claude just doesn't have the forces to keep Dimitri penned in Fhirdiad while he takes most of his forces to Ordelia. Also Claude specifies that the rebellion has been going for days now and that towns and villages have been ransacked. Edelgard was able to go from Dominic Territory in Faerghus all the way to Hyrm and that was a farther distance. Fodlan is just not a huge place. It's small as you said. It's not a sacrifice that he was willing to make but more a gamble that he was willing to make hoping that nothing would happen and then it did so he had to turn around. Anyways, the Kingdom citizens that died were collateral damage. I wouldn't say Claude is murdering them anymore than I would say Dimitri is murdering Adrestian citizens when he invades Adrestia and before you say it's different because Adrestia invaded, it's not like the average Adrestian person voted for Edelgard's war.

Also Claude isn't working with the Empire in Azure Gleam because it got too much power but because it went full evil empire. The Empire in Azure Gleam is at its normal borders when Claude allies with Dimitri. In Scarlet Blaze, half of Leicester got swallowed by Edelgard and Claude works with there still so it's not about how much power and territory the Empire amassed but more about how tolerable is the Empire to Claude. In GW, Claude got the outcome that favored his own goals so he got what he wanted. The Church dissolved. His alliance with Edelgard can technically be seen as ended (from Claude's viewpoint) and Faerghus is still intact so now Claude can go help Faerghus to keep Edelgard at bay or split Faerghus between them or see if he can use Edelgard's debt to him as leverage to make an armistice or start making a formal alliance with Almyra while he goes neutral but tries to forge peace between them etc. Claude's possibilities are endless now. Not to mention that in GW, Edelgard's armies have been taking loss after loss. Ferdinand's army got destroyed, Randolph's army completely wiped, they were taking losses at the Monastery and Edelgard hasn't even been able to make it past Arianrhod. I don't see a scenario in GW where Edelgard can conquer the continent especially when Claude has Shez and potentially Byleth at his side. Edelgard can be stubborn about it and continue or she can relent since the Church is gone but she's not going to conquer the continent. Hell, Edelgard couldn't even conquer the continent in the bad end of Scarlet Blaze without Claude even when she had Shez on her side and half the Alliance siding with her. I don't see how she gets wants in the context of GW where it's more unfavorable to her Rhea sacrifices herself but so does Dimitri. Dimitri acknowledges that he's sacrificing Rhea to Claude and he won't come to her aid. And it's made clear in GW that Dimitri was trying to dump Rhea at the monastery in that battle because Rhea was a noose on his neck.

Again, leaving behind a few troops wouldn't be enough. The army sieging the city should be larger than the army being besieged or else the siege is useless especially if you can't cover the city from receiving supplies. Claude just doesn't have the forces to keep Dimitri penned in Fhirdiad while he takes most of his forces to Ordelia.

While true that a siege needs more troops... any good war master would now NOT to bring your entire army with you. That's just begging to have something bad happen to your territory. You leave something behind.

And again, Claude was using Alyran troops as well. Which... is a very, VERY large country.

Why didn't he just take a small task force, sneak into the city, and corner Dimitri that way? Go directly for the throat, ignore the rest? That would cause less deaths, be easier to move about, etc?

Now I could come up with many reasons why the writers didn't do this, but I have no energy to jot them all down. The point is, the way it was written was incredibly stupid.

Also Claude specifies that the rebellion has been going for days now and that towns and villages have been ransacked. Edelgard was able to go from Dominic Territory in Faerghus all the way to Hyrm and that was a farther distance. Fodlan is just not a huge place. It's small as you said.

It's "small", but still not New Jersey small. Besides, you only added to my point. It only takes a few days for an unguarded piece of land to be utterly destroyed by an invading force. Claude has wasted more lives thanks to his plan, not prevented more.

That's not a great look for a "master tactician". He had no contingency plans? Where was the 5D level of chess the writers promised me?

Anyways, the Kingdom citizens that died were collateral damage. I wouldn't say Claude is murdering them anymore than I would say Dimitri is murdering Adrestian citizens when he invades Adrestia and before you say it's different because Adrestia invaded, it's not like the average Adrestian person voted for Edelgard's war.

Except, it IS different. Intent matters. Why things happen matters.

Like, in the case of GW, literally no one gives two shits about invading. They are like "YEAH! WAR! LET'S DO THIS! WHOOOOO!" AG, meanwhile, literally beats themselves up over taking a step over the territory line. Seriously, I actually got annoyed by how much they self-flagellated themselves over trying to stop the Empire at all.

The Alliance unilaterally invaded the Kingdom. The Kingdom had no quarrels with the Alliance, and had made no attempts to do anything to them. The Alliance struck them first.

In the case of the Empire, they struck the Kingdom first. The Kingdom had every right to retaliate back. Not to mention, the Kingdom in Hopes didn't even try to go into Empire territory until after the Empire began killing its own citizens (since Edelgard became a puppet).

These scenarios are NOT equal. It doesn't matter if the average Adrestian voted for Edelgard or not. Besides, I'm pretty sure a lot of Adresians were actually fans of the war. It barely affected them at home, after all, and it would bring their country new territory and power. Sounds appealing, no? There is like... one support with Shez that suggests it might not be a popular war, but it just barely scrapes the surface.

Also Claude isn't working with the Empire in Azure Gleam because it got too much power but because it went full evil empire.

If I didn't say that, that... is what I meant, so yeah....

In GW, Claude got the outcome that favored his own goals so he got what he wanted. The Church dissolved. His alliance with Edelgard can technically be seen as ended (from Claude's viewpoint) and Faerghus is still intact so now Claude can go help Faerghus to keep Edelgard at bay or split Faerghus between them or see if he can use Edelgard's debt to him as leverage to make an armistice or start making a formal alliance with Almyra while he goes neutral but tries to forge peace between them etc. Claude's possibilities are endless now.

Are they endless? I'm not so sure.

Well, even if we was, this entire scenario makes him one of the worst people in the game. Imagine using this opportunity to steal land from a nation that hasn't done anything to you in 300 years. Imagine turning your back on your allies after their usefulness has run out.

Damn, Claude really sounds like a sweeeeell guy!

Imagine helping the very people you slaughtered after you achieved your main goal. "Hey, I know I made things worse for you and killed some people, but let me help you now!" I'm sure Dimitri would take it well.

Claude is genuinely worse than Edelgard here. At least Edelgard is more honest about her goals and has more integrity.

Edelgard can be stubborn about it and continue or she can relent since the Church is gone but she's not going to conquer the continent. Hell, Edelgard couldn't even conquer the continent in the bad end of Scarlet Blaze without Claude even when she had Shez on her side and half the Alliance siding with her. I don't see how she gets wants in the context of GW where it's more unfavorable to her

Edelgard is stubborn though. She can be backed into a literal corner and she still won't stop. Ever. That's literally her main character trait.

She is either conquering Foldan, or will die trying. So Claude will have to either kill her, or kill Dimitri and side with her and be under her rule.

So, more killing! Claude truly did not think this through.

Rhea sacrifices herself but so does Dimitri. Dimitri acknowledges that he's sacrificing Rhea to Claude and he won't come to her aid. And it's made clear in GW that Dimitri was trying to dump Rhea at the monastery in that battle because Rhea was a noose on his neck.

Yes, something that is so completely out of character for Dimitri. It's a shame GW basically ruins him too. How could a single route ruin so many characters in one go?

But ultimately, Rhea makes the final sacrifice. She doesn't try to run, she knows that Dimitri is trying to do. The ball was in her court and she let it happen without a fuss.

So in my mind, she made the true sacrifice, more so than Dimitri did.

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 28th of June, 2022

This is speculation only

Cards drawn on the 28th of June, 2022

Question: How does Prince Charles feel about his son Prince William?

Intention: I want to get some idea about the current relationship between Charles and William, and then between Charles and Harry, to use as a springboard for asking why there is bad press about them from Clarence House, why Charles thinks this is an acceptable way to treat his sons etc. It is a baseline question for future readings.

Interpretation: He thinks Prince William is reliable and responsible in his work. His thoughts about William seem to be tied to his thoughts about Prince Harry. He wants harmony between the brothers.

Card One: The Emperor. The is the card of the father figure, so it stands for Prince Charles as the father of Prince William (and of Prince Harry). It is also the card for the ruler, and as such it refers to Charles in his role as future king. This says that Prince Charles's feelings for his son/s are influenced by his future position as King of the UK. He may even have only had children because it was expected tat he provided heirs to the throne. He sees himself both as their father and as their future king, which makes for a different dynamic than the straight father-child relationship. He may expect things from Prince William as the heir to the throne which are different to what a father would expect from his son when the son is not going to follow him as head of the family business.

Card Two: The Knight of Pentacles. This is an earth sign person, especially a Virgo, and as such it stands for Prince Harry.

As an attitude in general, the Knight of Pentacles moves slowly but surely. He is thorough and detail orientated, making a plan to achieve a goal and then carrying it out step by step. He is not afraid of putting in the dull and repetitive work needed to achieve his goal. All jobs are completed to a set standard, and all promises are carried through and kept. He accepts responsibility and gets the job done to his satisfaction.

The Knight of Pentacles in general - moving slowly but surely, responsible, hard working, sticking to a plan to achieve results - is how Prince Charles sees Prince William.

The Knight of Pentacles as Prince Harry says that Prince Charles thinks of Prince Harry when he thinks of Prince William. The two of them seem to be linked in his mind. If he does something for Prince William, his immediate thought will most likely be 'What about Prince Harry? What can I do for him as well?'.

Card Three: The Devil. This card is giving me three different energies.

The first energy is that of Catherine. The Devil is the card for Capricorn, and Catherine is a sun sign Capricorn. The energy here is neutral. There are no messages, just an acknowledgement that William is married, Catherine is his wife, and they need to be treated as a unit n many ways (as you do with married couples). There is a faint energy of class issues. It is old and faded now, but it is a snobby looking down energy. I think that maybe, perhaps, back at the beginning of William and Catherine's relationship, Prince Charles may have thought that Catherine was not 'high class' enough for his son and/or she was only after William for his status, and Prince Charles wanted Prince William to choose someone else. This has nearly all gone now, there are only faint echoes of it in the energy.

The second energy is that of envy and jealousy. Coming after the Knight of Pentacles card, this is what Prince Harry feels for Prince William, and Prince Charles is aware of this. With the Emperor card before the Knight of Pentacles card, there is some energy of Prince Charles feeling envy with respect to Prince William (I want what you have), and being able to understand where Prince Harry is coming from because of this. This is a much lesser energy, the main one is that of the envy and jealousy felt by Prince Harry towards his brother.

The third energy is that of Meghan. She is the status and money seeker that is the negative manifestation of Capricorn, she (and Harry) allegedly have problems with alcohol and/or drugs that are represented by the Devil card, and she is jealous and envious of Catherine as well as displaying resentment towards the BRF as a whole, which are also energies of the Devil card. The Meghan energy is there as Prince Harry's wife, as Catherine is there as Prince William's wife.

This is where it gets very confusing, because what I am getting is a sense of nostalgia, which is not Devil card energy at all. There is a sense of Prince Charles wanting Prince Harry and Meghan back in the Royal Family, for things to be the way they used to be, for the pair to be free of their addictions (this would be the Devil card reversed in terms of energy) and back with him as part of his family. I can't tie this energy to the Devil card upright like I can the other energies, and yet it is definitely there. I have no idea where his energy is coming from, but it is there and I would be cheating if I didn't report on it.

Card Four: Justice. This is usually a card about legal matters, or getting justice for something, being fair about something. It can also be a card of truth, or being impartial. I'm not getting any of that energy from this card. Instead, I am getting an energy of harmony, from the zodiac sign Libra, which is represented by the Justice card.

This energy is of a wish for harmony, a sense that harmony used to exist but is now missing. Prince Charles likes harmony and peace in his relationships, and that includes the relationship between his sons. He wants them to get on and to live together peacefully. Libra is the sign of balance, and the energy here is of a wish for balance between the brothers - I would say both being treated equally, but Prince William is the heir and that is not possible.

Underlying Energy One: The Queen of Wands. This is a fire sign person, especially an Aries, and it could be Princess Eugenie, who is the Aries in the royal family. This is coming across as a person and not as an attitude. As a person, the Queen of Wands is someone who is very social, confident, determined and optimistic. They can be very charming and very gregarious. They like to be independent or to work independently of others. This card could be a fire sign person with those characteristics, or it could be Princess Eugenie (who may have some or all of those characteristics herself). It is not Meghan and it is not Princess Anne. I'm not getting Princess Beatrice energy either.

On the card, my eye is drawn repeatedly to the chained lioness being held by the Queen of Wands. This is the female Lion of England, like our female monarch. To see the lioness chained in the picture says to me that this person is someone who wants to channel or control the power of the monarchy for their own purposes. It is a 'power behind the throne' energy. This is not someone working on behalf of other people, or for a greater aim, but rather someone who wants to use the power and prestige of the monarchy for their own, ego driven, personal aims. It is a selfish energy, concerned only with what that person wants from life. It is also a little energy - this person is concerned with very petty things and has small, petty, and limited goals that they want to achieve.

Underlying Energy Two: The Seven of Swords. This is the thief card, the card of diplomacy and lies, of working in the shadows. The card shows Orestes sneaking into the city or palace to kill his mother, the Queen,.

This card relates to the one before it. The fire sign person of the Queen of Wands card is working in the shadows, underhandedly, with lies and deceit, to divide the royal family and to pit one side of the family against the other. The energy here is of strife and division, but not destruction. This person does not want to destroy the monarchy. They want to have the family riven by internal strife, but they do not want the institution of the monarchy destroyed.

If the Queen of Wands is Princess Eugenie, she is doing this because of how her family has been treated by the main branch of the monarchy, like Orestes had to avenge his father by killing his mother. She is taking her revenge by fermenting discord and division in the family.

I don't know what role Prince Charles plays in this underlying energy. I don't know if he is aware of it, complicit with it in some pars, or blissfully ignorant. The underlying energy feels connected to Prince Charles somehow, but I can't tell how.

Conclusion: Prince Charles sees himself as a father to his son/s, and as their future king, so this is not just a father-son relationship. He may have only had sons because it was expected of him as heir to the throne. He sees Prince William as steady, reliable, and good at making plans and carrying them through. He knows that Prince William and his wife work together, as one unit.

Prince Harry is linked to Prince William in this reading. Prince Charles wants balance and harmony between them. He seems to feel that what he gives to one, he should also give to the other. He is aware of Prince Harry's envy and jealousy of Prince William, and he may experience some similar feelings himself, which gives him an understanding of where Prince Harry is coming from. He wants the two brothers to be able to live and work together in peace and harmony, with Prince Harry (and possibly Meghan) back in the family.

Underneath this is a fire sign person who is fomenting strife between the two brothers and possibly between other members of the royal family, trying to force them to take sides. This person wants to use the prestige and power of the monarchy to achieve their own petty and selfish desires. If this person is Princess Eugenie, then part of her motivation is to get revenge for how her parents have been treated by the BRF. There is a connection between this person and Prince Charles, but I can't figure out what it is.

[ardenssolis]

headcanon prompts; accepting || @shecharm @celowosc​ @unmeinoniwa

[ 🐺 ] does your muse like solitude? do they prefer it to being around others? how easily does your muse get lonely? [ 💛 ] how empathetic is your muse? how compassionate are they? is this something people expect from them, or are people surprised when they find out how compassionate or empathetic they actually are? [ 🧱 ] how would you describe your muses’ morality? what are their core values?

// ramble away  ♥

[ 🐺 ] does your muse like solitude? do they prefer it to being around others? how easily does your muse get lonely?

This one is a bit complicated. On one hand, he is used to solitude because his position puts him in a place where he tends to be alone, but on the other, not really. No one wants to be totally and absolutely alone regardless of what they might say because humans were meant to be around others. However, his nature as a demigod automatically puts him in a place where he can never be like anyone else. Ozy could pack up and decide to be some farmer (lmfao) but he would still be what he is: a being who is not quite human. He was born and raised to be held separately from everyone, so he is used to the solitude, and yet at the same time, a part of himself dislikes it. He doesn’t really get lonely that easily if only because he’s had his own company for a while that it’s no different from breathing at this point, and so he probably wouldn’t even recognize it, or at least, acknowledge that such a feeling is there at all. It’s a useless emotion to him and isn’t conducive to his ruling.

[ 💛 ] how empathetic is your muse? how compassionate are they? is this something people expect from them, or are people surprised when they find out how compassionate or empathetic they actually are?

Ozy can be very empathetic, although at the same time, he can and will shut this down in order to properly act upon his role as a king. His selfishness and pride can ALSO interfere with his compassion, blinding him to anything else that fits outside of his immediate scope or deemed worthy of his attention. His reputation is one that makes one wary of him as Ozy can be quite cruel when the mood hits, although when he is compassionate, when he IS generous, it can probably be jarring since many tend to tip toe around him. His personality can make someone wonder if he is capable of such, however he has a heart in there. It is just his way of showing empathy and compassion are not always right on the nose. They can be subtle.

[ 🧱 ] how would you describe your muses’ morality? what are their core values?

For all intent and purposes, Ozy is a very chaotic neutral, and fits this almost pretty much to the letter. He does what he wants, when he wants, and nothing anyone tells him will make Ozy think or act any differently. When it comes to morality, he isn’t someone who looks at the world black and white because to him, the world isn’t built that way. He sees those shades of grey smeared across the surface. As a result, very rarely will he see others fit into strict boxes as well (save for those few that are really, really evil in their habits). In combat, he will do whatever is necessary to assure his own victory, and if that means bombarding his enemy with a plethora of sphinxes without lifting a finger, or forcing them to traverse through his temple, weakened by poison before meeting with him, then so be it. There is no, ‘I must fight with honor, one on one!’

To him, he is a “god”, thus why should he care about that to begin with? He takes no joy in killing those who cannot protect themselves, but he will do it if said individuals bar his way and interfere with his goals, i.e., he was planning on destroying entire villages to get rid of some assassin classed Servants who were plotting on taking his head, and since he knew they were in one of the villages under their protection, then just kill everyone, basically, instead of trying to draw them out.

[ladyknightskye]

Okay, look. Look.

I just saw that "who is morally worst poll" that John Winchester won, and I - (rant beneath the cut)

Look. John Winchester is not a good parent. But the problem of John Winchester is not that he is on the Evil spectrum of the alignment chart y'all. Does he become the target of fans' own parental issues and traumas? Yes. Is he objectively a neglectful parent? Yes.

Is he ACTUALLY more morally reprehensible than Crowley? No.

I would argue that John Winchester's problem is not that he has too few morals but that he has too many. John Winchester is the bad kind of Lawful Good. He's the kind of Lawful Good that has a code (not necessarily one that jives with the laws of the land) but that code is not something he's going to give up for anyone including his children.

"But Skye, his whole deal was vengeance!"

And? That doesn't negate the fact that he took it upon himself to become a hunter of anything supernatural and not just Ole Yeller Eyes!

"But Skye, the dude lied, cheated, and stole all the time!"

Yes, in service to his ultimate goal of wiping anything supernatural off the face of the planet. And let's be real my lil leftist buddies - a lot of the people he was hurting with those crimes you would cheer about in any other context. Large banks, cops - those are not people most of us are fans of.

"Skye, that was a joke poll on Tumblr dot Hell."

Yes, and I made the mistake of looking in the comments. There are people out here on this very webbed site that think that "morals = being an actual good person" and don't seem to know what morals actually are.

Morals are a set of standards and beliefs that people have that tell them what they may and may not do in society.

Everyone has different morals, y'all.

Crowley is the definition of Neutral Evil. He will do whatever it takes to get what he wants, and yeah, maybe that shifts a bit as the story goes on, but for the vast majority of it, my dude doesn't give two shits what is right or wrong, just what is good for him at that given moment.

John, on the other hand, has morals. They're fucked up and not in line with the rest of society but he has them. Just because you don't like him doesn't mean they aren't there.

"Skye, you're just a John Winchester apologist."

No, I'm a person that really dislikes how the larger part of this fandom choses which characters can have nuance and which ones can't, usually based on which character they project on the most, and also refuse to engage with how their personal biases might color how they perceive these characters. I am well a-fucking-ware that I project a LOT of things on Dean because I see an awful lot of my own life's story in his, and this is not a bad thing, but I also know that this can color how I view other characters like Sam.

I am not a fan of Sam, and I'm aware that my dislike has little to do with the character himself and more to do with how I transpose my own feelings and memories on Dean. I am fully cognizant of this, and that's why I make caveats whenever I examine Sam as a character. Because I have biases! We all have biases! And that's okay!

I just want people to be aware of this and acknowledge it!!!

[iluzja-odlegla]

I've realized something incredible, yet extremally frightening. It's been brewing for weeks. Things that I now understand can be explained using the same words and sentences yet will mean completely different things to me now and to me from the past. I've tried to tell my friend about it and she dismissed me and joked about it and it made me realize that something needs to click in your brain for it to make sense. I've talked about the fact that nothing is really true. There is no objective proof anything is real or legit and that nothing is really "trustable". All human knowledge is just complicated guessing and we base our reality on that. I've based my whole understanding of the world on my personal experiences but mostly on movies and books and stories. I took everything I digested as reality and not as subjective experience of someone that is translated to some form that I consume and make of it what I make of it. It makes agruing over any topic seems so silly and unproductive. We are truly alone, there is no possibility to truly be understood. I think that David Hawkins book broke my brain. It's like my previous framework of thinking got obliterated. It taught me how to listen to emotions truly. I never understood journaling or therapy, it didn't work for me. It's all because for it to work you really have to already feel those things clearly. Now that I harnessed that ability and ability to dig into the og feeling I let it consume me for a while (phisically) and do my daily things while feeling it and then all I get back is one a5 page of writing. Summary of my biggest secret, of things that tormented me for so long needed just one page. Incredible. I was free of it for a while until it came back. But I stopped theorizing about it because now I know that I have a certain emotional need that I fullfil through fantasy because I refuse to get it in real life. If I tried to get it in real life it would take a toll on my dignity because it exposes my animalistic needs to the world. By knowing that I can just refuse feeding the animal that. Being aware of my feelings deeply and being honest with myself makes me trust myself. By acknowledging my feralness I take its power over me. it no longer rules me, I don't identify with it anymore. I know I feel face these tough feelings again because body remembers but in a way I'm not scared anymore. I will feel it and I will survive it. The worst thing that can happen is that that one person will see I'm being emotional (thus weak in my silly brain) and it's not the end of the world.

But back to the og theme. Now that everything is subjective, perfectionism doesn't make sense and all I'm saying here is not something to be understood intellectually but something to be FELT. it's a really important distinction. All these things I've known in the past but they meant something different. Now my experience of music is so much different. I don't hear perfection where I used to, I don't seek it even. All I hear is choices. Just choices on choices. Someone decided something and got some outcome. Good or bad stopped existing for me in every sense. Some things just work for most or don't. Some things just work for me or don't. Now I understand my dad's words differently. I asked him whining what should I do with my life and he said that he did something and how has what he has. And that I need to do something and get my outcome. These words are void of judgement. They are neutral. It's freeing and beautiful and paints life as just existence. No rat race, no goals, no things that need to be done or experienced. Pure sandbox. It's sad because there is so many things that I won't know. But exciting because I get to live in a totally unique way and I can choose that life everyday. If I read it once while having some musty ass corporate job - I can make a change that day. I can choose every fucking day and it's incredible. It's very scary tho. So scary that it makes me want to not knowing what I know. Scary because it places all responsibility on me. I'm not allowed to whine anymore. If I truly believe I can choose every day I cant blame everyone and everything for my poor conditions.

Living, reading, listening to people, experiencing is now only possible as consuming what I am able to consume. there might be more about all these things, but im incapable of understanding it fully or in a different way. Thus, it's impossible to do/understand something perfectly. the world is just a blob of things that I interact with and take it as I can, there's nothing I can do to live better. I can only live. And I need to repeat it after reading that paragraph. I don't think that. I FEEL it. Words truly can't describe it. Something must switch inside. But it brings a great relief - I am now capable.

[proofofburden]

Did Public Health Really Fail?

I've been thinking a lot about the Sisyphean problem of public health trust a lot lately, partially because I'm still processing The Pandemic and partially because of the rising threat of avian influenza. (I try not to be a bird flu alarmist but I do think the trajectory of the mammal outbreaks should rightfully be viewed as increasingly alarming.)

People want public health advice that minimally impacts their life, is state of the art, is correct to the underlying disease, matches their risk tolerance, affirms their values, and has a level of detail that exactly matches their willingness to make sense of the advice. Even if public health departments served only one person---and they explicitly do not---these are contradictory desires. What works and what people are willing to do rarely overlap, state of the art understanding of disease is often in some sense wrong, risk tolerance rarely matches the simple probabilities, policy advice necessarily compromises on values, and there's a fractal structure to mitigation that can be taken depending on your willingness to think through cases and exceptions in the advice. There's also a spectrum of "good faith" engagement, where some people are willing to understand the advice as trying to navigate all these factors and some people simply were not. There's a "both sides" element to this; both people who wanted more and less stringent advice were willing to see it either as a plan for state-based murder or to abridge freedoms.

While I certainly don't point all this out to suggest that there are no lessons to be drawn from the public health response to COVID---this is a framework for thinking about the failures, in fact---I think the reason why there is such unanimity that public health failed is that "success" is so personally defined for most critics. If your metric for "success" in the next pandemic is that communal advice is uniquely tailored to you with no scientific or moral uncertainty, we do not need to wait for the next pandemic to know public health will fail you.

Another dimension of this is that for all we've rightly talked about how "trust" and "credibility" were spent by public health officials, there's been almost no acknowledgement of the way that metaphor was weaponized against them. Far from being passive receivers of advice and weighing it based on abstract trust, people attacked the credibility of public health as a form of lobbying. This is a partial defense of health agencies, though this also should not have come as a surprise 4 decades into the AIDS crisis. (It has been [0] days since ProofofBurden got mad about the AIDS crisis!) Nor am I suggesting that the attacks were uniformly unwarranted, especially not in the AIDS crisis where the Federal government adopted a much clearer stance that AIDS deaths were good and happening to the right people; even in that case, however, some of the demands of activists were unethical and dangerous, to say nothing of the lobbying that was happening to encourage Federal officials to understand credibility in terms of welcoming a gay plague. With respect to COVID, the "credibility" blackmail became a way to constrain agencies. "I can't take public health agencies seriously if..." was not neutrally deployed in pursuance with public health goals, but individual ones. The waxing and waning of "credibility" tells us at least as much as about what different constituencies wanted as it does about how much public health officials were actually trusted before they dispensed advice.

I don't know how we fix all this. In some ways, it's not something that can be fixed; living in a diverse society where public action is hard is not something we ought to treat as a solvable problem lest we start answering with who must be forcibly "liquidated" or "purged" from society. Kennedy's appeal to virtue had to be said because it is very natural to ask what the CDC can do for me, and even on things I intellectually understood as reasonable compromises, I felt the frustration. Policy, including public health recommendations are so rife with tradeoffs you have to wonder if they even can be good to any decent standard of good. But I do know it's outright dangerous that we're lurching towards the next pandemic---H5N1, a bad COVID mutation, or otherwise---without grappling with these contradictions and challenges.

[forbidding-souda]

Hello um so I’m lowkey not feeling myself right now so could I please get some headcanons for Chiaki, Souda, Toko, Tenko, Nagito, Chihiro and Shuichi setting up a cute little at home date because the reader was feeling sad? Gender neutral is fine and thank you 🗿✨

Chiaki Nanami, Kazuichi Souda, Toko Fukawa, Tenko Chabashira, Nagito Komaeda, Chihiro Fujisaki and Shuichi Saihara creating a romantic date at home for their S/O

Literally like beeeettt omg I’m gonna be doing this so you feel better ^^ I hope you like it

this was so hard to write i wrote it in three sessions but my discord voted this to be written today so SIGH i'm finally finishing it.

if this is written really shittedly it's because this took me over an hour to write and it's 11pm and I have to get up early tomorrow so I'm a bit pooped.

-Mod Souda

Chiaki Nanami

❤ The easiest part was collecting all of your favorite snacks. She knew those by heart, because of course she did. It was the decorating part that was hard.She took all the cushions off the coach, taking up some time finding pillows in other places in the house. All except the bedroom. That’s where you are taking your afternoon, sorrowful, nap. Usually she would wait until you were ready to be in her company again before showing up with your favorite video game. But tonight, she spends her time watching a tutorial on how to make the best fort. In about ten minutes, it was stable enough to climb in and out of. She even put a blanket over it for good measure. 

❤ When you came home, she was too nose-deep in video games to even realize. She didn't hear the door, nor your calls, and by the time you had seen the fort (she was planning to surprise you) she had won her round. Still, she didn't let it bother her, nothing but a soft oh man left her lips.

❤ Seeing you smile was enough for her. That was the goal anyway.

"Is it alright?" She asks, putting her hands in the pockets of her sweater.

"More than alright."

You climbed in, too scared to touch much, sitting with a bit of a hunch as you run your fingers across the food she had placed inside. You sigh. She is so low-energy, so lazy most of the time that this is actually extremely flattering.

She lays in your lap, continuing on with her games (because of course).

And you pet her hair. You thank her for the consideration.

She only hums at you in acknowledgement. And that's enough for you.

❤ With all of the snack bags laying around, eventually you're the one tasked with picking them up.

❤ She never picks up after herself and she's not going to start.

❤ Also that pillow fort is. staying up.

.

Kazuichi Souda

❤ He almost wanted to go all out. He had originally put on a suit, just to be dapper, but quickly took it off. No, no, not the occasion. He was stressing over how to dress. It seems simple, right? And it's not like you're going to judge him for whatever he wears? He had brought over a bunch of board games from his dad's house and bought a few drinks (different kinds, he had forgot what you order at the restaurants the two of you go to). This was the best he could do. He knows you have been sad recently. It troubles him. He was never taught how to comfort people. Does he pat your back? Tell you everything is okay?

❤ Instead, he resorts to this.

And he ends up putting on a comfy pair of pajamas and bringing your pair downstairs for when you come home. The anxious tap of his foot is all that keeps him company until finally you step through that door.

"Uh- welcome!" He announces, racing to meet you.

You pause, just a bit, hesitating to close the door. "Yes?"

"I did something."

❤ Oh no was your first thought.

❤ But the sight of the living room, clean (for once), with games on the floor and drinks on the table makes you feel relieved.

❤ "Is this for me?" You ask, turning to him.

❤ "It's all for you."

.

Toko Fukawa

❤ No words could express how she feels about you. She notices you're sad almost immediately. Your shift in mood and demeanor makes her worry. She tries to do the chores that you usually do, hoping that this would brighten your mood a little bit. She did your laundry, put away the dishes, and made you food. In her mentality, if she just does services for you, you should feel better. Whether it's a love language thing or something trauma based, she wasn't going to standby and let you be sad.

❤ So she rolls out the couch into a bed. She transports the blankets and pillows onto it, turning on the television and putting on a movie she knows you like. And sitting there, she waits, fiddling her thumbs, trying to settle her breathing.

❤ Don't be anxious, she tells herself, nothing will go wrong, nothing will go wrong.

She's almost asleep by the time you get home. Her pale eyes are hazy and her chin is in her palm. The sound of the door alerts her, she sits erect, scrambling to fidget with her braids and fix her collar.

"Oh," you say, "what is all of this?"

The look on your face makes her heart beat faster. You're so beautiful.

"I-I just wanted to make you ha-happy." She tries to settle herself with deep breathes.

Your eyes go from the bed to the tv. Noticing the movie she had put on had ignited a feeling a gratefulness in your chest.

Oh my god, you think. She really does think about me.

❤ So you sit down with her, wrapping your arms around her and kissing her cheek. You hadn't even realized that your emotions were so palpable.

❤ When she lays on your chest, you run your hands through her hair, untying her braids and letting her hair flow down her back.

❤ You make a promise to yourself to find out the things that make her happy and indulging in them for her. She really does deserve it after this.

.

Tenko Chabashira

❤ Her mind was racing with ideas. There are so many things she can do - so many things she wants to do, but what makes you happy? What if she teaches you self defense? You could be happy and safe. Noticing that you are feeling a bit down has brought her mood down a little, too. She's followed you around and made fun of the boys that surround you - poking at them as if they're the reason you're sad. She wanted to bbq them and serve them as dinner. But alas, perhaps a nice at home date is all it takes.

❤ She sets the dinner table, googling reference images in the process. The food is something she ordered to be delivered. Beforehand, she clasps her hands over the food, trying to put a blessing on it - whoever eats this will get eternal happiness.

"Tenko?" You call out, taking your shoes off at the door. Her cheeks immediately redden.

"Ah - my lovely S/O! Welcome home!"

You get a peak at the dining table, trying to look past her shielding form. A small smile appears on your face. It makes her incredibly satisfied.

She gestures to the table with a look of pride. "It's our date."

❤ She eyes you throughout the entire dinner. She watches your hands - do sad people move their hands like that? When you talk, she reminds herself not to interrupt you and to listen as if her life depended on it.

❤ You notice the way her green eyes stay wide, pupils dilated, and her mouth tight in focus.

❤ "Are you okay?" You ask.

❤ She blinks in genuine question. "Why?"

❤ Her mannerisms make you smile.

❤ You wave her off with your fork, "Nothing. You're just being cute."

❤ Her hands cover her mouth. It stops a scream from coming out - but you hear the sound.

.

Nagito Komaeda

❤ He sets his mind to games. The two of you had gotten along through the games the two of you would play as a class. You had enjoyed his presence so much that you would always invite him to play with you - whether it be chess, uno, or a simple rolling of the nice. His luck is beautiful to you. You always smile when you win a round. That smile is rare, but this is a recent occurrence (or lack there of). It makes him a bit anxious. Are you getting tired of him? Wanting to leave?

❤ So he holds out a deck of cards, shuffling it, calling you to the living room. You scurry down the hall and slip with your socks. The table has glasses of soda alongside the deck.

"What's up?"

He bridges the split deck together. "Let us play a game."

"Uhm," you step close, sitting in front of him, taking your spot, "is there any reason?"

"You like games, right?"

He acts as the dealer and dishes them out.

You respond, "of course I do. What game are we gonna play?"

❤ Playing against him sucks, however. His luck messes with every single game.

❤ He had won every round - every game and every different version of the games.

❤ But when he went to get himself a drink he had spilt it all over the carpet.

❤ You sigh, going to grab the dish soap, already knowing how to take care of it.

.

Chihiro Fujisaki

❤ He tries to think of something the two of you can actively do together. He has a lot of ideas of fun things, mostly involving the computer and different things he can show you. He noticed you were sad because of the sudden change in regularity of visits. You seemed to be distancing yourself from him within the bounds of your shared house. Did he do something wrong? Or is it something internal? He decides, eventually, to just go with the old-style dates that the two of you would go on: sitting in bed and watching things together.

❤ So when you come upstairs, he has the television on as he sits above the blankets.

"Come join me." He asks, his honeymoon shyness returning.

Your eyes flicker around the room before you realize. "Are we going to have another movie night?" A smile covers your entire face; eyes light up and eyebrows lifted.

Thank goodness, he thinks, they seem so happy.

You continue, "I've missed these so much."

Crawling into bed beside him, you lean your head on his shoulder, sinking deeper into the mattress while he handles the remote.

❤ He had gotten the both of you water and also a few treats. When you asked where he got it from, he just smiles and tells you it's a secret.

❤ You make a mental note to try and find his stash later.

❤ The night had been the opposite of busy, yet it still tired you out, and you found yourself falling asleep to one of the movies.

❤ He notices right away.

❤ All he does it rub his thumb across your cheek, kissing your forehead, trying not to disturb you.

.

Shuichi Saihara

❤ He was worried that you would get mad at him. If he tried to 'interfere' with your time and space - would you be upset? He has been in love with you for awhile and therefore in tune with your emotions. When you started feeling sad, he found himself distancing himself from you, waiting for you to blow up and stop being in love with him, or worst, isolate yourself from him first. But then, he realized, that that possibly made you feel worse. So he decided to think of an activity the two of you could do together.

You pop into the kitchen, coming down to only get water, and then you see him, staring deeply into the instructions on a cardboard box, having bowls and mixers in front of him.

"Yeah? You're gonna bake?" You lean against the wall.

He looks at you as you startle him. But his face quickly settles, and his eyes soften. "I wanted to do it together."

His tone makes your stomach tighten. "I mean- yeah- let's do it right now, okay?"

He watches you pull up your sleeves, standing shoulder to shoulder with him, looking over his shoulder to the instructions.

❤ He notices you coming out of your shell. The two of you have quiet tones, but throughout the exercise, you both allow yourselves to get used to the presence of another.

❤ Soon, you're laughing together.

❤ He's so handsome when he laughs. You've almost forgotten what it sounds like.

❤ "I love you." You say abruptly, resting both of your hands on his chest.

❤ His breathing quickens. You can feel it.

❤ "I-I love you too!"

❤ You rest your head against his before placing a kiss on his cheek.

❤ You thank him, smiling, before turning and going to clean up the kitchen. He will not let you do that alone. He sets himself right there next to you.

[thedummysdummy]

Playing Hero

As promised, the second half of a request. The first half can be found here, if you missed it: In Which She Goes Missing

~~

Victor’s distaste grew the closer he got to the office of Professor Lucien. The sharp taps of his shoes preceded his straight and purposeful form down the hallway, not that there seemed to be anyone around for them to alert. He wasn’t surprised; classes had been canceled for the week to give the authorities time to track down the perpetrator of the double homicide. Students didn’t want to be around for a little while, and nobody really blamed them.

There was something particularly eerie about empty campus hallways. Despite the university being modern and high tech, the echo of any small sound was enough to put anyone on alert. Victor didn’t give the feeling much of his attention, though a shiver still crept up and down his spine. It simply added to the bile swirling in his stomach and the sour taste on the back of his tongue.

He paused outside the professor’s door, hand raised and poised to knock. Victor closed his eyes for a moment and pulled in a deep breath to settle his mask into place. The cold expression he wore for the outside world pulled the softness from his features and darkened his eyes. His knuckles rapped solidly on the door three times and Victor took a step back to wait. The sound of a chair sliding, papers shuffling, and footsteps announced Lucien’s approach.

The door opened and a look of surprise flashed across his face. “Mr. Victor? Well well, what a surprise. What brings you to my office today?” Lucien’s soft voice grated on Victor’s nerves, but his expression remained completely neutral.

“I’m told you met with my girlfriend last night in regards to a show you’re going to be working on soon?” Victor chuckled inwardly as Lucien’s eyes narrowed in annoyance at his blatant claim of the girl. However, the clouds quickly cleared and Lucien gestured toward the office.

“Yes, come in. We’ll speak inside.” Lucien entered and Victor followed, sitting down in a chair across the desk. He casually draped his left leg over his right knee and looked expectantly at Lucien. The professor settled into his own chair and fidgeted with a large, silver pen. “So enlighten me on the purpose of your visit. I did, indeed, meet with the girl last night. We spoke about the show, had a cup of tea, and she left around eight-thirty.”

A frown finally made its way through Victor’s mask and his toe flicked the air. “I see. Did she say where she was going? Have you heard from her since?”

Again the professor’s eyes narrowed and a hint of concern colored their irises. The situation seemed to become clear and his hands gripped the arms of his chair. “She said she was headed straight home, but no. I haven’t heard from her. I’m guessing that’s why you’re here? You haven’t heard from her either?”

Victor shook his head and Lucien’s mild expression disappeared. “I know where your mind is going. Have you at least gone to the authorities before deciding to play the hero? We both know you’re not as good at finding the girl as you think you are.” The jab was deep, but Victor outwardly remained unphased.

“I have spoken with an officer, but I have not filed an official report. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t just on a trip she had forgotten to tell me about. But since you have confirmed there is no such trip, I will be contacting them on my way to the STF.” Victor stood and straightened his coat, nodding slightly at Lucien. “Thank you for your time, Professor Lucien. I have already checked her home, if you’re having ideas of playing the hero yourself.”

Lucien smirked and stood himself. “More bodies can cover more area. Even the famous CEO himself surely would acknowledge that fact. Despite our differences, it seems we have a common goal.” The foul taste returned to Victor’s mouth, but he simply nodded and turned toward the door.

“Indeed. Anything that ensures she is found safe.” Victor tucked his hands into his pockets, fishing around for his phone as he walked back down the empty hallway. For what felt like the thousandth time the girl's voicemail played in Victor's ear and he slammed it back into his pocket. “Damnit dummy, answer your phone! Don’t you know you’ve got people worried?”

Victor’s murmurings followed him all the way to the car and the gates of the STF. Each mile dragged on his heart and weighed down his soul until the pain began to rival that of those ten thousand years of misery. Thoughts of the person he cared for most being in danger kept intruding, growing darker and harsher every time he banished them. When he finally pulled up to the outer gate, Victor merely had to lean his head out the window to be waved into the compound.

“Bring me to Gavin. It’s in regards to the active serial killer loose in Loveland City.” The well-dressed and stern-faced man’s voice and words made even the STF agents slightly nervous. Not everyone knew who he was, but even those that didn’t took one look at his face and made themselves busy elsewhere. Victor’s cold eyes seemed particularly hard in the sterile fluorescent lighting of the white room. His arms crossed his chest and his well-oiled leather shoe tapped impatiently as he examined his surroundings and waited for Gavin to appear.

He didn’t have to wait long; moments later, Eli arrived and gestured for the CEO to follow him. Victor nodded and did so, silently cursing the pace at which they strolled through the building. The desire to yell about wasted minutes while the girl was missing strangled his throat, but somehow Victor managed to remain calm and collected as he always did. “This is Captain Gavin’s office, sir. He’ll be with you momentarily.”

Eli knocked twice firmly on the door and stepped back, ensuring that Victor didn’t wander off. His face was strictly blank and his eyes focused on the wall in front of him until the door opened and Gavin’s form appeared. “Yes?” Gavin looked to Eli, who jumped to a sharp attention and locked eyes with his captain.

“This gentleman says he needed to discuss the serial killer case with you.”

Gavin took one look at Victor’s face and nodded. “Very well. Thank you, Eli. Back to your work.” He waved away the officer and gestured for Victor to enter the office. He stood next to his desk with one hand gently resting on it, while Victor chose to stand directly across from him in total disregard of the chair. “Alright Victor, I know you wouldn’t come here tossing around claims like that without backing. What do you know about the serial killer case?”

“The girl is missing.” Victor paused for a long time, watching Gavin’s face intently as he processed the implications of what he was being told. He knew the exact moment when the pieces clicked into place; it was rather obvious by the color draining from Gavin’s face.

“And you believe she’s been taken. What brought you to this conclusion?”

Victor’s eyebrows furrowed deep into his brow, the only real sign of the panic fluttering in his chest like a panicked dove. “She was last seen leaving Professor Lucien’s office around eight-thirty yesterday night. I’m sure you know already that the bodies found this morning could easily have been placed outside the university around the same time. I have checked her office and home, spoken to her coworkers, and interviewed Professor Lucien myself. There has been no sign of her.”

Every word seemed to violently draw more color from Gavin’s being until he dropped to his chair as white as the surrounding stone walls. However, his eyes burned more brightly as if they had collected all the missing color. “And so, having run out of options you’ve come to the STF to ask for help?”

“Something like that. I ensured there were no obvious reasons for her to be not answering her phone before coming here so as to not waste your time. But it has become obvious that this is more than a case of a dummy not knowing where she set down her phone this time.” Victor also sat, the corner of his lip twitching. Whether it was from anger, panic, or terror was unclear, but the small tic continued despite Victor taking a pair of deep, calming breaths. Gavin pulled out his radio and called out a few codes to his team before returning his gaze to Victor.

“While we both know how invested we are if the girl is involved, there may be a silver lining to this cloud.” Gavin pulled out a small device and observed the screen, his hazy eyes searching the contents before a frown etched his face. Victor remained silent until Gavin looked back up and met his eyes. “The bad news is, it looks like you are correct in your deduction. The good news is she was wearing the bracelet I gave her. This is probably the best break in the case that we could have hoped for, from the point of view of the STF. But-”

“But from the point of view of two people who are deeply invested in the safety of the girl, this is the worst possible outcome,” Victor interrupted, his teeth gritted and his words filled with anger. Gavin nodded and pulled out his radio again, the slightest tremor in his hands causing the antenna to wobble.

Gavin pressed the button and steadied his voice. “All teams converge at the abandoned shopping mall at the northern border of the city. Be prepared for anything. We don’t know if the killer has Evol or not.” He released the button with a crackle and gestured to the door. “I’m going to advise you to stay out of this, Victor. My men can handle getting to the girl safely.”

“You know I’m not going to follow that advice, Gavin. And I’m not going to ask why you have a tracking device on my fiance.”

The softest of chuckles escaped Gavin’s lips and he nodded. “I know.”

The men exited the office together and Gavin grabbed the nearest agent. “Aaron, take Mr. Victor back to his vehicle. I’m going out into the field, so if anyone else comes looking for me, just take down their information and leave it in the locker.”

Before Victor knew it, he was standing back at his vehicle with two STF transports flanking him. They gestured for the CEO to exit the compound and followed along with him, breaching the gates together before rolling toward the mall. The gates closed behind the trio and Victor rolled along after the agents. He had to see for himself that the girl was safe, and what she had been facing. Image after image of torture scenes threw themselves across the stage of his mind until Victor had to pull over to the side of the road for a moment.

The car came to a stop with the gravel on the shoulder crunching under his tires. Victor rested his forehead on the steering wheel and closed his eyes, fighting the stinging that preceded the tears he refused to allow. Now was not the time for emotions! “She has saved my life multiple times. Why am I sitting here feeling sorry and afraid when I should be coming to your rescue?!” He lifted his head and slammed his fist on the wheel, causing the horn to sound briefly. The afternoon had faded into a sunset that cast the inside of the car in pastel reds and yellows, swirling like the emotional torrent inside of Victor.

As soon as he felt that he had enough control, Victor put the car back in gear and tore off down the road toward the mall. A total disregard for laws and safety (and the use of a few rural back roads) soon brought him to the site where STF vehicles were already parked. Victor floored it and came to a screeching stop next to the transports. The engine had barely stopped roaring when the door slammed shut and Victor ran into the depths of the darkened building.

~~

The depths of the basement were cold, clammy, and damp. Green swathes of slime crept along the crumbling concrete walls where water from cracked pipes had worn paths in the man-made stone. A steady drip, drip, drip echoed through the otherwise silent and empty space. Only a few emergency backup lights still worked, casting their feeble light onto cracked and mud-covered floors.

And deep within the dark maze was a small, dimly lit room that was far less empty than the rest of the building. A single lightbulb dangled from the ceiling of what was once a supply closet, which still contained an assortment of chemicals and cleaning implements in one corner. More out of place, however, was the grungy and blood-stained mattress in the center of the room. It had no form of sheets or blankets, nor did it have any kind of foundation.

And on the mattress…was a girl. Her face, wrists, and ankles were stained purple and blue with the paint of violence and resistance of tightly-bound ropes. Her mouth was taped shut and her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. It appeared as if her face had at some point been in contact with the floor, for her cheeks were coated in the same black grime that formed a film over the concrete. Tears had washed away a track in the grime, leaving distinct rivers down both sides of her face.

All of her clothing had been removed save her underwear and her body was covered in small, angry nicks and scratches. Some appeared to be caused by fingernails in her struggle to free herself, while others were more consistent with the use of a blade. Some still bled, tickling her skin as the warm liquid dripped down in places she could not reach to wipe it away. Not that she tried…at this point, she was so exhausted that her eyes were closed and her breathing came in rhythmic cycles interspersed with unconscious sobs.

In another corner stood a spindly wooden chair, which contained the backside of a glowering and dour man. His dark eyes were flat and dull, but focused intently on the girl. He was rather unassuming, really; short brown hair, well-kempt and a smooth-shaven face, moderate build, and features that would be solidly classified as ‘ordinary.’ All in all, he was someone who wouldn’t stand out in any crowd.

A switchblade kept his hands busy, flicking it open and closed as he watched the girl and her fitful sleep. “Oh, the things I have planned for you,” he whispered, running his thumb across the blade and observing the thin and shallow cut it left behind. “The last two went way too quickly. But they made me angry, you see. They weren’t any fun anymore.” The girl whimpered and curled up tighter, pulling her knees closer to her chest. This caused the man to chuckle, a low and gravelly sound. “Oh yes. We are going to have all kinds of fun.”

~~

“We are approaching the target. Do not give away your positions; we need to secure the hostage before taking out the target. Do not do anything to set off the perpetrator!” Gavin’s radio crackled as he received responses from the other team members. He turned it off and activated the communicator in his earring, then gestured for his small team to follow. The group crept through the shadows and puddles, their feet silent on the hard floor as they avoided the scattered light sources.

Gavin pulled them to a stop, motioning that their goal was around the next corner. He pressed his back against the wall and peeked around the corner, his eyes searching the dim area for danger. From what he could see it was just another section of passageway…but that didn’t make much sense. With no humans in sight, he wrapped himself around the corner and crept closer, every one of his senses on high alert. The screen of his tracker continued to ping the bracelet’s location as just ahead so he continued, searching each room they passed for any sign of the girl, to no avail.

And then…he stood right above the dot and found the broken remains of the bracelet lying in the dirt. Gavin picked up the pieces, a look of anger and frustration in his eyes. “Spread out. Search every inch of this place! There have to be some clues, even if the culprit has moved bases.”

STF agents poured into the basement, filling the basement with the soft rustle of fabric and gentle footfalls. Gavin himself began by making careful circles beginning at the broken bracelet, his skills sharply digging into every crack of the basement. We are going to find you. I swear it!

~~

Victor followed the agents inside and into the basement, allowing enough space that he managed to avoid their detection. While he doubted the STF would actually force him to leave (if Gavin’s reaction was anything to go by,) the last thing he wanted to deal with was fighting his way past the officials. He walked like a wraith through the halls and open spaces, listening intently and searching for familiar footprints.

Empty room after empty room drew out what little hope he had and slowly burned it away. Here and there he passed STF agents and allowed them to pass by; they didn’t bother him and he didn’t bother them. I’m coming. Just give me a sign, any sign…

Deeper and deeper Victor wandered, choosing to leave behind the lights to follow what appeared to be the faintest of lights far off in the distance. His foot met something soft and he paused to pick it up, feeling the soft texture of an article of clothing. He brought it to his face and sniffed softly, immediately recognizing the scent. Subconsciously he held the shirt to his chest and picked up the speed. “I’m coming,” he whispered, this time audibly. “Just hold on. I will make sure everything is alright. I promise.” The faint glow solidified into a beam of light beneath a door. Victor homed in on it like a moth to a flame, stopping outside and pressing his ear to the door.

“Enjoying your sleep? You better. I want you to be well rested for our dance later.” The unfamiliar voice made Victor’s skin prickle and his lip pulled up in a snarl. The soft sound of metal brushing metal followed the words, the click at the end telling Victor exactly what it was…the man inside was armed. A muffled voice attempted to respond, which only made the man laugh. “Oh, we’re awake? Well then, perhaps we should go another round.”

Victor’s blood turned to ice and stabbed his veins as it attempted to return to his heart. He couldn’t wait any longer. The door flew inward to reveal the captor leaning over the girl, his blade millimeters away from the girl’s cheek. Her face was frozen with terror and a fresh cut oozed down her bicep. The wild panic of a downed prey filled her eyes.

Both captive and captor turned their heads in surprise, completely different reactions churning in their eyes. Surprise and anger clouded the man’s eyes, while the girl’s opened wide and immediately teared up in relief. “Victor!” they seemed to scream, and Victor found himself lost in them for the briefest of moments.

He couldn’t examine her too long, however. The kidnapper regained his composure and flung himself at Victor, blade brandished and a snarl on his lips. Around them the dust and water came to a sudden halt, but the attacker did not. “Evolver,” Victor growled, stepping to the side and grabbing the man’s arm as it came toward his face. Time restarted and Victor twisted the man’s arm around behind his back, causing him to cry out in pain. “You are going to pay for hurting my fiance,” he snarled, his mouth awkwardly close to the kidnapper’s ear. His tone could be used as a spear of ice and chilled the other man’s veins.

However, he did not give up that easily. The man twisted himself around and managed to pull his arm loose and again came at Victor with the knife. It slid across Victor’s palm, the resulting crimson a stark contrast against his pale skin. “You are going to regret coming here, scrawny man!” Victor grabbed the blade and wrenched it downward, knocking it loose from the attacker’s hand and ignoring the sharp pain as the steel cleaved the muscle at the base of his thumb. Blood dripped down his arm and absorbed into the cuff of his white shirt and smeared across the kidnapper’s face as Victor’s fist connected solidly with his jaw.

The knife clattered away from the grappling pair, who punched and kicked and fought to get the upper hand. Victor’s strength had caught the captor off guard and he struggled to make any progress, instead expending his effort on keeping himself free. Victor managed to hook his foot around the man’s leg and pulled his knee forward, causing it to buckle and the man to topple over. The man grabbed Victor’s ankle and attempted to pull him down, but Victor managed to maintain his balance and dropped to a knee in the center of the man’s back.

Moments later, STF agents alerted by the sound of the scuffle swarmed the pair. Two of them grabbed Victor and pulled him away, while two more secured the suspect. Victor quickly broke away and pushed the agents out of his way in his haste to check on the girl. He knelt at her side and gently removed the tape, wiping away the tears that streamed down her cheeks. “It’s alright now. I’m here. Everything is going to be fine.” The adrenaline of the fight had begun to wear off and Victor’s hands trembled as he tried to untie the ropes around her hands and feet. After a few moments of fumbling he growled and slipped his coat from his shoulders. He wrapped it around the girl and picked her up, cradling her to his chest protectively. His blood pooled on her stomach but neither of them noticed; he was focused on finding a knife to cut her loose and she had her face pressed as firmly against his chest as she could press.

Gavin waded his way through the agents and took one look to analyze the scenario. The man had been handcuffed and stood off to one side with an agent firmly gripping each of his arms; he seemed taken care of so Gavin went straight to Victor’s side and focused on the girl. “Are you alright? Let’s get you loose.” He whipped out a knife and sliced through the ropes, pulling them away and gently massaging her hands and feet as the blood returned to them. Victor was so relieved to have her safe that his jealous side didn’t even activate at the tenderness in Gavin’s touch.

The girl simply nodded, seemingly unable to find her voice yet. Her face remained buried in Victor, breathing in his scent and allowing relief to wash through her body. He cradled her with the utmost tenderness and met Gavin’s eyes. “I’ll carry her out to the ambulance. I’m sure you called one?” Gavin nodded and gestured for the agents to part and let them through. The trio walked in complete silence, each lost in their thoughts as they ascended the stairs and stepped into the slightly brighter main floor of the abandoned building. Flashing lights of ambulances and police cars turned the walls, ceiling, and floors into a dance of red and blue. Reporters jostled to be the first to get the scoop, but another team of STF agents held them back.

Victor made his way immediately to the ambulance and gently set the girl on the stretcher, only taking a half step back to allow the paramedics to assess her. A second crew took one look at Victor and immediately began fussing over him, as well. “Come with us, sir. You look like you need some cleaning up, too.”

“No. I am not letting her out of my sight.” Victor crossed his arms and planted his feet next to the stretcher, where the girl’s vitals were being checked. She shivered slightly and he wrapped his jacket more securely around her, tenderness dripping from every movement. The paramedic sighed and raised his arms in surrender.

“Alright, I understand. But can we at least take care of your injuries? Your hand is still dripping.” Victor looked for the first time at the damage to his hand and winced, though his face remained impassive. He extended his hand and the first responder went to work cleaning and wrapping it. “You should both be more fully examined. If you’ll just follow me to-”

Again Victor shook his head and grabbed the girl’s hand possessively. “I will only ride in the ambulance with her. I already told you that I’m not letting her out of my sight.” The paramedic again sighed and nodded. At that moment the other paramedics had finished their initial examination and were preparing to load the girl into the back of the ambulance.

“Okay sweetheart, you should be alright to climb into the ambulance on your own if you feel up to it.” The paramedic smiled and stepped back, but Victor didn’t even give her a chance to reply. He chose to pick her up and carry her inside himself, earning another sigh from the crew. He sat and held her in his lap, arms securely wrapped around her like a heated blanket. The doors were closed and the ambulance began to roll.

Neither Victor nor the girl could seem to find any words to say. They simply clung to each other like the morning dew clings to the grass, hoping that somehow it can avoid the burning gaze of the sun. There were a million things that Victor wanted to ask, but the trembling of the girl hushed the concerns. For now she didn’t need to relive the trauma. For now, she only needed strong arms and a strong heartbeat in her ears, each thump-thump whispering, “Everything is alright now. The scary part is over. You are safe.”

And equally? Victor needed her slender hands clasped firmly around his own, their warmth assuring him that his world had returned to him. Perhaps a little worse for wear, but returned nonetheless. He tucked his coat more securely around her and watched as her eyes closed and her muscles relaxed. “My little dummy,” he whispered tenderly. “You really scared me this time. I’m going to have to move the due date of your report up as a consequence.”

A tiny smile pulled up the corners of the girl’s lips and she gently kissed his trembling adam’s apple, finally eliciting the one and only tear Victor allowed to fall.

[loveanoutcast]

ok but I read games and I am ADDICTED and I just thought I could maybe request something like-

Eren meeting the reader through a simple comment and a timeskip to them being v close until they eventually end up in a fight because reader was ranting to eren about how perfect their crush (who is actually eren) is and him just exploding and them getting into a fight until the reader eventually goes "that person is you, dumbass!" Or smth like that and from there it all just turns into a lot of kisses and smut👀

only if you're comfy/in the mood of writing smth like this tho! just had this random thought last night and thought I'd request a little erenxfembodiedreader

Anyway have a nice day, night, afternoon, morning, you're amazing :D

Oh my gosh, this is my first request ever and I am so incredibly excited to write this and I really hope I did good in writing something you would want. Thank you so much for submitting this request, please feel free to send more! I love writing fanfics of any aot character and will do my absolute best to embody them in these. Sorry for the long wait, when I say the last chapter had me all the way FUCK3D up. EreMika is canon and I haven't been able to stop saying "He loved her, oh my god he loved her" in that "and they were roommates" vine way because that's my coping mechanism and it's cheaper than therapy. Anyway, I give you-

"Assumptions."

Pairing: Eren Yeager x Fem!reader

TW: nsfw, smut, angst, jealously, swearing, yelling, a bit of fluff, unprotected intercourse, breeding kink, a bit of voyeurism, a bit of sexism, eren being denser than a rock, Levi having health issues because he's old

Other: aot world if the mess of season four never happened and eren didn't fall to sad bitch hours, reader is a regular girl with family issues, all characters are over 18, Erwin never died and Floch never went insane

It wasn't that Eren hated going into town, but he wasn't exactly used to going to town alone. He always had Mikasa and Armin flanking either side of him but since the discovery of the world outside the walls and the decreased threat of titans, scouts were needed more than ever in the recovery of the lost districts. Mikasa was the second strongest soldier alive and Armin was expected to take after Erwin. Eren was useful when it came to being the one who possessed the attack and founder titan, but lately there was no big threats that required his titan abilities.

That didn't stop Hange from poking him, nor did it stop Captain Levi from keeping him busy with even the most minimalist of tasks. Today was no different and when the options were given to him and Jean, who was still asleep in his bunker, on shoveling horse shit or going into town to stock up on supplies and check to ensure all market suppliers weren't being capitalist pigs to the local vendors, Eren all but hauled ass through the door, hand swiping the grocery list off the table and yelling, "Good luck Jean-boy!"

Everything seemed to be going just fine, none of the local vendors had any troubles and most seemed happier with the drastic improvements of the living situations for Eldians. The fear of being eaten any day now or losing a loved one to war had seemed to be the driving force that had led to problems before. Some people recognized Eren, but no one seemed to want to approach him. He had had encounters with people who thought of him as a god, but he usually ignored them or kept a level-headed composure. Despite knowing that he had a power no one else had, outside of being a titan-shifter, Eren didn't really know what he had to offer. Armin was smart, Mikasa was strong, and he couldn't exactly claim titan-shifter seeing that Armin was also the colossal and Ymir had been the jaw.

He let out a sigh, kicking a rock in his path and silently yearning for something beyond his knowledge. Despite knowing that he was never really alone, he felt lonely a lot of the time. He had never given much thought to settling down, with the clock running out on him he often thought what was even the point? He wasn't sure if he wanted to keep being a soldier or if he wanted to go back home one day, he didn't really try to dwell on the future, content with being in the present and having Mikasa always on the verge of tears when she was reminded that he would one day die, didn't really give him room to think of much else.

You weren't oblivious to the tales and rumors that went around the town about the scouts and their secret weapon in the form of a shapeshifting man and how him and his comrades were able to plug the hole in the wall of a district your family had come from long ago. Your father had long since escaped the walls of Maria before it fell, he made an honest living being a construction man, and your mother was a nurse who happened to catch his eye when he had a roofing accident. They built a life for themselves within Wall Rose. You weren't the richest family, nor did you have a name that was well known. Nonetheless, you were all hard working. Your brothers worked for the respect they got, one being a weapon maker and the other being a bar keeper was enough for the part of town you were in. Even their wives did well for themselves in being a seamstress and bar waitress. As the youngest, you were loved and cared for. You weren't the most beautiful girl in town, but you turned heads nonetheless, well until one of your brothers decided to glare or promptly hit whoever doted on you too long for their liking.

The people who knew you, thought you were trouble. Mostly the elders spewed of you and your ways of thinking being a disgrace to everything Eldians stood for and bringing only shame to your gender, you were a woman ahead of her time and they couldn't stand it. Like your mother you had entered the medical field, but even when you were small you claimed you would be a doctor one day. You shadowed and worked under the supervision of the town's doctors. Many amused at your antics, some who didn't care about you being a girl and just grateful to leave such responsibility on someone who was genuine in the intent, and others not caring one way or another and not willing to hear your screeching pleads to observe what they did. Your mom had spoken with you more than once about settling with being a doctor's aide, today being no different and you let out a sigh as you looked to your mother's pained expression.

"I just don't understand why you insist on making your life so difficult? It was bad enough when you proudly exclaimed your goals in front of the entire church, but now this?"

You could only look away, looking towards the fields where you saw your third brother grooming the horses. You hadn't said anything bad, you were approached with a job offer that would give you the title and respect you had been desperately craving, and it would bring greater honor to your family...or so you thought before your mother reacted the opposite in which you hoped.

"I will not have any daughter of mine chasing dreams and fantasies off in some other place where no one can protect you. This is a suicide mission and I for one will not stand by and watch you march forward to your downfall."

Your father stood behind your mother, not really saying anything and not even looking at you. You felt especially bad for the commander and captain who stood on either side of you and were bearing witness to the absurd exchange between your family.

"Mrs. Y/L/N, you have to know that if Y/N were to accept this offer, she would never be in the front lines. We have bases located all throughout the walls and she would do what she did best and be our primary doctor." Commander Erwin spoke with such calm words, his demeanor kind and patient.

"So you expect me to let her run off with a bunch of men whose brains are broken from the wars they fought and not worry? She is not even married!"

You grit your teeth so hard upon hearing that, you were sick of the standards put forth on you since your birth. You were sick of the expectations you were in no hurry to reach and you were especially tired of the lack of faith your family had in you to be independent and strong. Your fists clenched and you felt a steady gaze on you.

"I'm not an expert or anything on parenting, nor will I act as if I am, but instead of yelling at her, why don't you try asking your daughter what she wants to do?" You didn't silence the gasp you released, looking at Captain Levi in confusion and admiration.

All eyes turned to you, your mother crossing her arms as if asking you to try and defy her. Erwin looked a bit expectedly and Levi looking indifferent to the entire conversation. It was your father who beat you to it before you could even open your mouth to answer.

"You have a choice, my daughter. If you choose to stay, you'll make your mother and brothers happy. You can continue to help people but you will never be acknowledged as a doctor...but you'll have your family. Or you can choose to leave and live your life to your own accord, but you will lose the respect of the town and your mother will never speak to you again. Are you willing to put yourself above your family?" You expected this from your father, always neutral and never judgmental, what he was saying was true after all. Were you willing to lose your family over your dreams? Would you be able to survive on your own with only the scouts to rely on?

Your head was hurting and your frustration only grew when your brothers decided to come home and after your mother wailing at them about your plans to leave, they were quick to overwhelm you with their own opinions. The commander and captain apologized but they had to leave and return to headquarters.

"Take your time on making your decision. We will come back in a few days for your answer." Commander Erwin told you, giving you a smile as he continued, "I know its a lot to ask you to choose us over your flesh and blood, but if you do. You have my promise that we will protect you, and we may never be able to fully replace your family in your heart, but the scouts will be a family on its own for you."

"Tch," Captain Levi shook his head, "Look brat, you will see and do things that you won't always like. People will die no matter how hard you try to save them, but call Erwin and Hange delusional--they see something in you. Don't walk into this half-assed, if you choose to be our doctor and you choose to take on the title and everything it carries with it, you have to dedicate your heart."

You only nodded. Two days had passed as you walked through the market, the small basket in your hands carried apples and some citrus fruits. Your mother still wasn't talking to you and your brothers seemingly assumed you wouldn't be leaving, only your father knew how frantic your mind was, and one morning he admitted that he would be delighted to have at least one of his children carry the family name on a military standing. So you had his support.

You even spoke to the animal doctor you had been shadowing for the past few weeks, his eyebrows had rose in an impressed matter and he promptly asked when you would be leaving.

"I haven't made a decision, yet." You said.

"You would be an idiot not to take it." Was all he replied before asking you to give the cattle their medicine.

Idiot, huh? You wondered. You knew deep down he was right. Your mind continued to play in endless loops of thought before you heard a commotion to your right. Turning your head you saw a group of men, their huddling seemed a bit more frantic and it was not until one of them yelled that you noticed one man in particular on his knees.

"Help! Someone call a doctor!"

The man on the floor was bleeding rather profusely and you didn't have time to question what happened before you quickly made way.

"Sir, let me see."

"Hey! Woman don't touch him!"

"Make yourself useful and go get a doctor! What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"I am a doctor." You calmly said, inspecting the gash on his side and seeing the edge of what appeared to be a broken pipe sticking out from the building behind them. The drips if bloods glistening in the sun only confirmed what you thought.

"We were-" The injured man rasped out, "Just horsing around."

"It's okay." You reassured, grabbing a roll of gauze and stack of medical napkins you always kept in your basket. You apologized before applying pressure to the wound, and you heard the patter of rushing feet.

"A doctor is on his way! A real one!" One of the men sneered, and you did your best not to roll your eyes and focus on stopping the bleeding. You asked the man to lie on his back and he surprisingly complied, he didn't seem to care about you being a girl and only seemed thankful to not be alone and scared.

"Do you hear that? Move before you kill him!" The first man hollered, the hand on your shoulder causing you to sharply inhale.

"Excuse me for one moment." You told the man, and you were quick as you hand shot up to grip the disrespectful ass by his wrist and twist it in one fluid motion, you wasted no time in using the building wall as leverage, quickly running up and using his weight to stabilize yourself before you roundhouse kicked him so hard it sent both of you flying back. You landed on one foot, balancing yourself before going back to the patient.

You couldn't deny how satisfying it was to hear the impact, or the groan of pain coming from him. Your eyes met the others.

"If any of you touch me, I'll do exactly what I did to your buddy there, but ten times worse. Now shut the hell up and let me save this man."

Eyes widely stared at you as you resumed caring for the injured, a few minutes passed by the time the doctor got there.

"Oh!" His eyebrows rose, "Hello Y/N, didn't expect to see you here. If I would have known, I wouldn't have left the hospital on its own."

"Hi Dr. Goodwin," You looked up, two fingers on the injured man's wrist and the other held up four fingers from your counting. You blushed slightly from his confidence in you and you noticed the men who bullied you all sport faces of confusion.

"His pulse is stable. I wrapped the wound tightly, but he needs stitches."

"Thank you, miss." The injured man grabbed your hand and you smiled in return.

"Don't mention it."

"Actually, it's Dr. Y/L/N." Dr. Goodwin said, seeing your eyes widen and the smile he gave only made your heart swell that much more.

The doctor nodded, thanking you before asking his helpers to load him to the small gurney they brought. He could only thank you briefly before you waved them off. The other guys had stayed back, eyes wide in disbelief that the doctor not only recognized you, but acknowledged your work.

"Are you a nurse or something?"

"Are you morons deaf? Did you not hear Dr. Goodwin? I'm a doctor too."

The leader seemed to recover from the kick you gave him earlier as his lip curled in an ugly matter, "What kind of sick joke is that? No such thing as a woman doctor."

"Obviously there is if I'm standing right in front of you. Or did my kick knock a few more scews loose?"

Eren was walking buy, noticing the commotion from afar and as a soldier, his instincts to provide help in dire situations kicked in. He elbowed his way to the front. Seeing you standing defiantly in front of five tall muscular men. He stepped forward as the main leader got in your face, but when you shifted your foot, he seemed to coil back. Eren noticed a giant welt on one side of his face and wondered how the hell he got such an ugly bruise. It didn't stop their onslaught.

"Who the hell do you think you are? What makes you think you could do whatever the fuck you want?"

"Because in this world, I'm free to do whatever the fuck I please." Eren watched as your eyes narrowed in further defiance, the smile on your face sickeningly sweet and all he could think about was how he had never seen such a woman.

You hadn't even noticed the audience that gathered, you side stepped the group of men, going as far as waving a goodbye with a breathy giggle, you picked up your basket. You had a small hop to your step and despite not caring to even spare a glance to the onlookers, your eyes met a pair of pretty green ones. The prominent bone structure made you think, "Wow."

However, the tall muscular body you did a once over on had you follow that thought with, "Oh damn."

Eren seemed dumbfounded, your obviousness in checking him out made him flush. He had never felt self-conscious over his body. He knew even before he hit puberty that he would do well to grow muscles and abs, the necessary type of figure to have if one were to be a soldier of the scouts. He knew it was also something some females found attractive in the opposite sex but it's not like he ever had time to date much less dwell on what girls liked. Seeing the way you looked at him though, he couldn't deny that he silently hoped for your approval.

When you finally met his eyes once more, you had him floored when he saw you drop a wink at him.

The crowd murmuring as they watched you go made his own eyebrows furrow in confusion. He stepped to one of the members and demanded an explanation.

"Honestly, the little lady was crazy! She came in here claiming to be a doctor and helped patch up a guy who got cut by the pipe over there. Instead of waiting for a real doctor, she made a whole fuss."

"Where's the guy?"

"Dr. Goodwin picked him up. That doctor is mad too, he also said she was a doctor, but that's ridiculous. No woman can be a doctor. That's so many levels of wrong."

Eren felt the urge to punch the man in the mouth, but one glance at the ugly bruise his friend sported reminded him,

"What happened to your face?"

The leader grumbled a bunch of profanities, "That little bitch. I tried to get her off before she messed the guy up anymore and she kicked me."

"In your face?" Eren sounded impressed, and he was when he received a nod of confirmation.

He looked to the direction which you disappeared in and said fine words to the group, "Whether you men like it or not. The world is changing, everyone is free to be who they want. If women can join the military no problem, they can be doctors too."

He saluted before rushing off, not hearing the mutters of annoyance from the men. In all honestly, Eren had no clue on what he was doing.

You were scrubbing off the blood from under your fingernails near a fountain when you hear the shuffle of feet from behind you. You silently hoped it wasn't any of those morons asking for more trouble, but you were pleasantly surprised when your eyes met a pair of green ones from before.

"I'm Eren." You smiled at him, nodding and your smile turned quirked when he stuttered in, "Yeager. Eren Yeager."

Hmm, you had thought, His name suits him. You studied his demeanor, not missing the gear strapped to either sides of his hips or the green hood covering his shoulders. You knew immediately that he was a scout and you wondered if he knew Captain Levi. Before you got the courage to ask him, he beat you to it.

"What did you mean by what you said earlier? Do you really think that? That we're all free to do anything we want here?"

You smiled as you nodded, walking towards a vendors stand and Eren fell into step beside you, you felt nervous around him, but also safe with his company. He watched you as you picked up another apple to inspect.

"We have laws and rules though...so we're not technically all the way free?"

"I'm free to be me, just as you are free to be you...Eren...Yeager."

It was the way the sun hit your face in that moment, highlighting your strong cheekbones and giving a special glint in your eyes that made Eren want to hear your thoughts more. He spent the rest of the day asking you questions, never satisfied with the small responses you gave him and he even walked you home. The mean glare from your mother confused him beyond belief and it was your father's words that made you gasp in surprise that night.

"He's the titan shifter, the one who helped plug up wall Rose."

Your face had turned red in embarrassment, you were talking so casually to a literal titan and you even flirted with him. He even held your basket the entire trip to your house and you didn't even consider how informal you acted with your skirt. You had hitched one of them up your thigh to get better footing and hadn't missed the way Eren blushed at seeing so much skin. You knew the girls in the scouts wore pants, but even then they kept covered.

You were certain Eren wanted nothing else to do with a girl who held little to no morals, but you were caught by pleasant surprise when you saw him with Erwin and Levi the next day in town.

His eyes had immediately found yours and you didn't miss the blush on his cheeks as he gave you a small wave. You couldn't but laugh when Captain Levi suddenly kicked him.

"Who's got you turning red brat?"

"Uh-it's nothing, captain."

He didn't look convinced as you gathered the courage to approach. Erwin acknowledged your presence which Eren was grateful for, but his eyebrows still came down in confusion on how the commander knew your name.

"Y/N!" Erwin gave a polite smile which you returned, "So great to see you. We were actually just about to stop by your house."

"Really? What a coincidence, I was hoping to stop by headquarters today as well." Your smile was bright, and by the way the air around you seemed cheerful, Erwin returned your energy.

"Bearing good news I hope?" He still hesitantly asked.

You nodded as you laughed, "I would love to accept the offer if it still stands."

"Of course it does," Captain Levi scoffed, his arms were folded across his chest. You noted for the first time the soft grey color of his eyes and despite the deep scowl he was currently showing, he had chubby cheeks that made you want to squish, "We wouldn't be coming all this way for nothing."

"I thought we were coming to collect a new scout, Captain Levi." Eren asked, you felt yourself blush in realization that he had no clue it was actually you they were referring to.

"We are," Levi grabbed you by your arm and yanked you towards him as he pointed at you while looking at Eren like he was an idiot, "Meet the scout's new doctor. Dr. Y/L/N meet Eren-"

"Yeager." You finished, smiling towards Eren, "We've met."

Erwin and Levi exchanged looks as they watched you and Eren smiled at each other like a pair of idiots, the realization dawning over them and Erwin couldn't fight the smirk that crossed his face. Small world, he thought.

Six months had passed since the first fateful encounter you had with Eren. You had long since moved out of your home and besides the occasional secret letter from your father, you hadn't heard nor seen the rest of your family since your decision to become a doctor for the scouts.

It was a transition to go through as you lost one family and gained a new one, but everyone was so accepting and welcoming. The girls welcomed you with open arms, most notably was Sasha whose habit of eating everything and anything brought her to the infirmary on more than one occasion, Connie usually followed right behind her with a minor injury resulting from his carelessness. You had met Floch when he brought Jean in from a sparring session gone wrong and he immediately took a liking to you. Your level-headedness was like a breath of fresh air to him as he was constantly sorrounded by people he thought were idiots. Jean liked your confidence (The fact that you were easy on the eyes, didn't hurt either), Mikasa respected the way you didn't hesitate to put people in their place, and Armin admired that despite your obvious toughness, you were a kind and patient doctor who never turned anyone away. You were diligent and hard-working, yet your smile was always able to uplift any sour mood and you always put your best foot forward. The one time he had puked all over your hospital floor from eating too much undercooked meat was embarrassing for him, he thought for sure you were going to be angry and call him an idiot. Instead, you took his temperature, put a cold cloth on his head (despite his titan status guaranteeing a speedy recovery), and started a healthier diet plan for him. Armin was scheduled a weekly checkup with you, partly to ensure he was listening and partly for you to study him a bit more. Your research on the titan's ability to regenerate and recover from even the worst injuries was fascinating for you, you hoped to isolate the genes and figure out a way to maybe trigger it in regular Eldians without setting off the titan ability, the fact that Eren made it a habit to accompany Armin didn't hurt either.

Eren had grown attached to you, whenever he wasn't busy or in need of a place to hide from Captain Levi's wrath or Hange's insistence to poke and prod him, he would be hanging out around you or in your office. At one point you had to hide him under your desk when Commander Erwin stopped by to hold a meeting with you about providing first aid training to the scouts for excursions. You were always welcomed to accompany them outside the walls, but your work was enough to make you stay. You recalled the way Eren was pressed against your legs, the feel of his hands steadying himself on your calves and when your skirt had shifted up when you reached for one of the records, you felt Eren brush his fingertips along the muscle. You had stammered the rest of the meeting through and smacked him afterwards for putting you in such a compromising position. You were blushing furiously at the way he gave such a boyish grin and even that night while he walked you to your small cottage, he had a satisfied smile in place.

You always knew you liked Eren, you were also hopeful that the feeling was mutual. The both of you had grown close over the course of your stay, as the head doctor you were given your own living quarters, not too far from headquarters but not so close to the city that you would be given a hard time. Your cottage was fair in size and with the amount of income you were receiving, you were quick to furnish and decorate it to your liking. Eren had even helped by adding his own touches to the interior. The times you would go to the city with him was always met with many curious stares. Your age and gender made many turn heads when you walked in, the fact that you were the youngest and by far prettiest doctor the scouts had ever had made people naturally gravitate to you. Your ability to make friends quickly also made it that almost every weekend you were entertaining guests at your house. Sometimes it would be dinner with Sasha, Niccolo, and Connie. Other times you would be knitting and embroidering with Mikasa and Armin, there was even game nights with everyone until Jean and Eren became too competitive with one another. Other times when the higher ups had meetings (All of which you had to attend since you technically held an officer position within the military branch) you would offer your house where you all shared cups of tea and your famous baked goods. You had even seen Captain Levi grab seconds on your sugar cookies.

It was the times when Eren would swing by alone that caused your heart to flutter, he would walk you home almost every night now. At first he would find the poorest excuses to see you like needing a bandaid for his wrist from the biting (even though by the time you gave him the gauze it would be healed over completely) or try to "casually" be around the area when you would get out at three in the morning. Eventually your amusement turned to you asking him to walk you home every night under the guise that you were afraid of being targeted or hurt, even though everyone had seen you body-slam Reiner the one time he tried to hit on you when you were stitching up his eyebrow from an ugly gash. Nonetheless, Eren accepted. You would invite him in for tea every time and he would even bring you lunch on days he failed to see you in the cafeteria. It seemed like everyone under the sun knew about you and Eren's crushes on one another, so it was also a pain in the ass that neither of you had yet to make a move on one another. Even Erwin had assumed you two were together the one morning he stopped by your house on your day off to ask for your aid for a soldier who had broken their arm from a training exercise, his eyes had grown wide upon seeing you open the door in only your nightgown, you were rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you invited him in for breakfast.

Upon walking in, he immediately saw Eren exiting your bathroom in his casual jeans, his hair was wet and sticking up from the steam of the shower. Eren wasn't wearing a shirt and before Erwin could excuse himself completely you quickly explained how you hadn't wanted him to walk outside so late so he slept on your couch. You were washing his clothes and had left them out to dry and Erwin could only nod and stop himself from suggesting for Eren to bring spare clothes to yours, remembering that it wasn't his place to push or even encourage his team's doctor and titan-shifter to date even though by the way he saw you put jelly on Eren's toast while he made your cup of tea with three sugars was enough for him to almost just order the two of you to date. Instead, he gave a long rant to Levi, wondering aloud whether Eren was either oblivious to your affections or just an idiot, Levi only replied with, "Did you happen to bring any of the toast she made?"...he did and Levi later on answered, "He's just an idiot." while licking the excess jelly off his fingers.

It was another day at headquarters, the mid-summer day was hot and since the flow of traffic had been slow inside the infirmary, you found yourself mostly in the officer's lounge. You had opted to wear a long sleeve empire waist dress, the top had ruffles along your collar and the soft pink of the dress complimented your skin tone. It fell around mid-thigh and the black shoes you wore with them completed your overall look. Eren had stared at your bare legs for a while until he noted your haircut. You had only cut off the ends but your heart did a flip as you blushed from him noticing. You had been chatting with Hange about your research while Moblit spoke to Eren about the new set of routes to be taken during their next trip beyond the walls when Captain Levi walked in. Hange waved him over and he fell easily beside you.

"Hey." His arm brushing against yours and you hummed in response, leaning a bit towards him which didn't go unnoticed by Eren.

"Levi, did you take your medicine this morning?" About two weeks ago you had caught the captain asleep at his desk for the fourth time. You knew he overworked himself and refused to sleep in his bed no matter how many therapeutic pillows you got him, but while he was out like a light you decided to check his blood pressure, only to find it alarmingly high. You figured the amount of stress and cups of caffeinated tea were to blame. Levi kept in good shape, but considering his age and the fact that he never even considers laughing, you prescribed him medications to be take every morning and cut him off from his usual tea leaves. The former was easier to push as the calcium and magnesium capsules were easy to swallow, it was getting rid of all the tins in his desk that made him a bit unbearable to the new recruits.

He let out an annoyed grunt as he nodded. Your smile was soft as you put an encouraging hand on his arm and Eren was officially not listening to Moblit anymore.

"Thanks for sticking to your diet, Captain Levi. As a token of my appreciation, I got you these." You didn't let him reply, quick to act as always as you reached into the small basket you had brought and grabbed his hand to put the gray tin of loose leaves that you took out in his palm.

As usual, the captain was unfazed by your lack of appreciation for personal space. The past few weeks had done well to teach him how despite being yelled at, threatened, and even outright ignored at times, your cheeriness was impossible to diminish and you did whatever the heck you wanted even when it was at times impulsive.

"What is it?" He looked between you and the tin, the slight sneer on his upper lip making you release a giggle before you tapped the bow you tied on it.

"It's tea leaves." He raised a slim eyebrow which made you roll your eyes, "Decaffeinated tea."

"Let me guess, it tastes like shit." His eyes flickered to the purple bow, "Or it'll make me shit."

You laughed, you upper body leaning on his as you attempted to catch your breath. The joke wasn't that funny but the face he made was. You giggled as you shook your head and Hange watched in bemusement as you elaborated,

"It's the tea I always serve and judging by the three cups you had last time, I'm positive you'll like it."

Levi let out a nod, he hadn't even noticed that the tea you served had no caffeine but the heavy notes of honey in it probably explained its sweetness. He gave a quiet thank you before his scowl returned,

"So that's why I was on the crapper all night after the last meeting."

"With a potty mouth like that, it's not wonder you don't have a girlfriend." You deadpanned.

"I feel bad for the poor bastard who falls in love with you."

You let out a small tsk, smiling at him and hoping Eren heard as you said, "Well that depends if he admits he feels the same way."

Captain Levi quirked an eyebrow at you, his eyes knowing and you blushed under his stare. Your fingers fiddling behind your back and Eren hated the way Levi suddenly chuckled at you. His smile was a rarity and to have him giving it to you only meant one thing to Eren; the captain liked you.

"So there is someone you like? Who's the poor brat?"

When you were about to make another snide remark, Hange cut in and excused herself and Moblit.

"As fascinating as this is, there's a captured titan waiting my arrival and if I don't get to use this research Dr. Y/L/N just gave me before nightfall, I will lose my mind."

"I hadn't heard of us ever finding it to begin with." Levi sighed, taking a lock of your hair between his fingers and letting the curl bounce back before he excused himself to tag along with them.

"Someone's got to make sure four eyes doesn't get killed."

"That's why Moblit is going with her." You noted.

"And who do you think will make sure Moblit doesn't get killed?" He smiled once more, "Laters doc."

You waved goodbye to the three, the door clicking behind them and you turned to see Eren with his arms crossed. He was pouting like a child and you wondered what his deal was. You figured with your earlier comment, he would be over the moon to hear you hinting at liking him. You skipped up to him, getting on the tips of your toes as you poked his cheek.

"What's the matter? You look like a scolded child."

"Nothing." He muttered, looking away as his jaw clenched and you only poked him once more.

"Liar." You called him out, "Talk to me."

"You didn't answer Captain Levi's question."

You were sure that there was a giant question mark on top of your head, the gear in your mind shifting as you tried to recall what the captain asked before your mouth opened in realization. You couldn't help but smile as you looked down at Eren's shoes and he only seemed to grow angrier as he watched you blush.

"About my crush? Oh! Well I wouldn't call him a brat, but I guess his attitude could often warrant that title. He's got this sort of this determined mentality that I guess some people can find...overbearing." You played with the cuff of your dress, "But I personally find it charming."

"So he's charming?"

You hummed as you smiled, "He's a bit rough around the edges, but he always means well. He's easy on the eyes too. Got really nice hair and pretty colored eyes that makes me swoon around him. Not to mention his body looks like Zeus could be his father." To add emphasis, your body leaned side to side as you laughed.

Eren snorted, his eyes rolling as he thought of any guy he knew that was like you described. All he could think of was Captain Levi and Erwin. He hated to think of Levi as charming, but he was rough all around. Erwin had eyes that Historia had once described as pretty, but to think of you being attracted to someone as old as him made his stomach flip.

"Want to head back to my office?" You suggested, not wanting to leave Eren's side until he figured it out but also not wanting to stick around in case other officers walked in. You got a stiff nod and wanted to giggle when Eren still opened the door for you. As the both of you walked through the large building, you added a hop to your step as you continued,

"He's also such a gentleman. He respects me, he's never intimidated by my sharp wit, always opens doors for me, waits until I'm sitting before he starts eating, and he almost seems proud of me being a doctor. He's just so understanding and sure of himself as a man that I guess the idea of having a girlfriend in my position would never make him feel inferior." You turned to look at Eren sideways and noticed his shoulders hunched, you knew it was cruel how you kept teasing him but were hopeful that it would click for him soon, so you went on.

"Wow, sounds like a real keeper." He grumbled, now thinking of Jean or even Connie. Armin was too occupied with Annie and Reiner was too obsessed with Historia to hang around you. There was no way Beruto/Borrito/Bertoto would catch your eye as you had made it a point to always get his name wrong, but Connie made you laugh and Jean was always extra nice to you.

"I'm telling you, I think he's perfect. He's dependable, strong, and we share so many of the same ideas. I could talk to him for hours and never be bored and when I'm not with him, I feel...sad. I just constantly want to be by his side and if I'm not I want him to be thinking about me because that's exactly what I do."

You both entered your office, you walked up to your desk as you spoke, turning around and leaning against it to look at Eren. He had closed your door a little harder than necessary, the wood shaking against the frame as he crossed his arms and leaned his back on the door. He looked downright irritated and you bit your lip to keep from laughing.

"So why haven't you told him?"

You shrugged, "I think I've been pretty obvious about it, I'm always smiling when he's in the room, I always want to be with him, there's never a day where we don't walk together. I even wore this dress for him today."

You waved down at your figure, Eren's eyes looked over you twice and you jumped up on your desk, your thighs parting as you let the short skirt cover your panties and barely cover the tops of your thighs.

"I'm sure he'll love it." Eren spit out.

"I don't know..." You tilted your head, "Do you?"

Eren pushed himself off the door, going to your bookcase and letting his fingers brush the spines of the books, "It doesn't matter what I think. I'm not Mr. Pretty eyes. Sounds like a simpleton to me."

You let out an actual deep sigh and Eren met you with furrowed brows.

"What?"

"You're so fucking dense, Eren."

"What did I say?" He threw his hands up, "Just because I called him simple? I'm so sorry I don't care to hear you go on and on about this guy. I never thought I'd see you bend over backwards for some guy who opens doors for you. I thought you would have higher standards than that."

You let out a snort, "Keep talking Yeager, and I just might higher them."

"I mean I never thought looks would be so important to you. It's so-"

"So what?" Your tongue had a sharp edge that did not go unnoticed by Eren. He stood only a few feet from your desk, but you saw the awkward shift in his posture.

"Shallow." He spit out.

"Excuse me?" You gave him a look that said if he wouldn't apologize in the next ten seconds, he would surely live to regret it.

"What I mean is...what guy could possibly have this head over heels and you're just now telling me? I thought...I thought we-" He stopped, looking to the side and you relaxed before saying,

"We what, Eren?"

"I thought we had something special." He muttered. He looked to see your mouth opened in a small gasp and he began to turn to exit when you quietly beckoned him over.

"Eren...come here."

"No, I should g-"

"Please." You begged and the look in your eyes brought him to stand in front of you. Your hands reached for his shirt, yanking him forward and you hooked your legs around his calves. Eren gaped at you, not knowing what to do and say as you put one hand on his shoulder and the other cupped his cheek.

"You are such a dumbass." You laughed, "The person I've been going on and on about, that simpleton you bashed, is you. It's always been you, Eren."

It was like watching a light flicker on very very slowly, but once it was on you watched as embarrassment flooded Eren. His smile was sheepish and stupid as he stuttered over his words. His hands rested on your hips and you stroked his face from his temple to jaw as you asked,

"Do you maybe feel the same way?"

You didn't get a verbal answer, the sudden kiss Eren laid on you was an answer enough. His lips were soft and warm as they moved against your own, his tongue enveloped yours and you felt him lean more onto you. The moan that slipped out his mouth when you bit his bottom lip made something tighten in your stomach.

When you two finally broke apart you didn't miss the trail of saliva that connected the two of you and you whimpered for more. The second kiss was heavier, a clash of teeth and tongues as Eren feverishly wrestled to touch you everywhere his hands could reach. You felt him press against your core, the loud gasp you let out made him look at you in concern.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll stop if you want me to."

You shook your head as you met those green eyes that held you captive since day one, "More. I want more."

The smirk was something you had never seen, his eyes became half-lidded as Eren kissed your nose. Then your chin, then your neck. When he reached your collar, his finger hooked onto the top of your dress, pulling the fabric down as he kissed just above your breast.

"She wants more." He said to himself, the soft rasp in his voice made you attempt to close your legs. His hands pushed what little that had covered your legs up and Eren's fingers brushed your core.

The jump you gave made his smirk grow, "I haven't even touched you yet."

He saw the small patch of dampness on your panties, and before you could ask him what he was doing, you let out a sharp gasp when his fingers pushed the fabric to the side and he plunged two fingers into your pussy.

The moan he ripped from you was like music to his ears and as he began to slowly pump his fingers in and out he watched as your face became hot and red. It was uncomfortable as first, you could even say it hurt but that didn't stop you from rocking your hips up to meet his eager hands. You weren't entirely prepared as you felt a bit tense as Eren kissed your neck, the suckling on your flesh making small breathy whimpers leave your mouth. His other hand's fingers hovered over the buttons on the back of your dress and his eyes asked for permission as he glanced up at you.

A small tentative nod was all he received before he took out his hand from between your legs, his tongue skillfully licking the digits cleaned and you didn't think you would find such an act so erotic. You arm hooked around his neck as you brought him down to a kiss, you could taste yourself on his lips as he kissed you back eagerly, his fingers skillfully working the buttons on your dress and you wondered for a brief moment if he had ever done such an act before. You pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to lose focus or confidence while in the middle of being with Eren by letting unnecessary insecure creep into your heart. As if being able to read your mind, Eren said-

"Stop being in your head," A hard kiss against your lips, "Be here with me."

His nose rubbed sweetly against yours, fingers tilting your head up as you gave a hesitant nod. Your eyes wanted to focus anywhere but his eyes and you could felt warmth spread across your cheeks when the sleeves of your dress fell down your arms. The idea of letting Eren see all of you was as exciting as it was nerve-wrecking, the most he ever saw was your legs and back from that one time you walked out of the bath in only a towel. Seeing him shirtless was not new but you still felt your breath catch in your throat as you watched him yank the material off. Your hands explored the newly exposed skin, fingers dipping in every curve of muscle and your hand rested just above the waistband of his jeans. You noticed his breathing grow heavy, Eren's head falling forward on your exposed shoulder where you felt him nip and suck on the soft flesh. You returned the favor by kissing him on the chest, your eyes still casted downwards as you fumbled with the buckle on his belt, you let out a small curse from how hard your hands were shaking and Eren placed a gentle hand on top of yours, his eyes alight with amusement as his lips curved into a soft smile.

"Baby, relax." He murmured, he pushed your hands aside as he took over the task. You let out a deep breath as you heard the sound of his zipper being tugged down and you decided to be bold. You lowered the upper half of your dress, the cotton falling off your arms with ease and you blushed furiously once you remembered that you hardly ever wore bras and today was no different.

Your nipples were taut as you shivered from the cold air in your office and Eren stared at you in wonder his eyes raking your body as you looked to the side and brought your bottom lip in between your teeth.

"Fuck, can I touch you?" Eren blurted, his hands still near his trousers and you giggled when he added a last second, "Please."

Nodding, you figured it was time to stop feeling so shy. You had been dreaming about this moment for months, yet as the man you loved stood before you, eager to be with you, all you could think about was how scared you were that you wouldn't be enough to satisfy him.

One more glance at the way he watched you was enough for you to think, If he really didn't, he wouldn't be looking at me as if I put all the stars in the sky.

You felt the second wind of confidence hit you and you took Eren by surprise as you hooked your fingers on his belt loops and tugged the fabric down. You palmed him through the thin material of his briefs and his hips jerked from the contact before he melted against you. Lowering the elastic, your small hand wrapped itself around his shaft and you took a moment to admire his dick. It was something new and foreign to you, for a moment you wondered if all male penises looked like that but you pushed that thought aside as you found yourself not really wanting to ever know, as long as Eren's would be the only one you saw. You hand moved up and down, your thumb brushing across his tip as you swiped some of the liquid leaking out to use as lube.

You knew he was a few inches above average, the thickness was also enough to make you worry for a moment whether he would be able to fit in you as his fingers struggling to push inside of you were of any indication of how tight your body was. Either way you were determined to satisfy the both of you, the idea of him using you and watching his face come apart as he milked himself dry using only your pussy had your head feeling fuzzy with want. He rested his head on you, causing your body to lean back and you pressed one palm on your desk behind you and the other jerked him off a bit sloppily. His moans filled the space of your office, you secretly prayed to the gods that the scouts could be smart enough for once to not be injured or to be able to at least handle it themselves and your eyes flickered to the door for a moment.

"Eren," You murmured to the shell of his ear, his heavy breaths fanning across the span of your chest and you felt both your bodies getting hot. "The door, we need to lock the door."

His groan was the only response you got as he trailed kisses up your neck and shoulder, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, he was such a guy sometimes. You began to lower yourself from the desk before his hand on your leg suddenly halted your movements and he gave you a lazy smile, his half lidded eyes softly rolling as he let out an obnoxious groan of annoyance.

"I'll do it." He didn't even bother to tuck himself back into his briefs, his dick fully erect as he made way to your door. You felt your hand falling to your side and you bit your lip as you thought about what you wanted to do twice before letting your own hand push the fabric of your underwear to the side once more. You rubbed at your clit lazily as you softly moaned, your eyes closing at the sensation and you smiled when you heard the soft, "Shit." coming from a few feet ahead of you. Eren's eyes were transfixed on you, the way your head rolled back as your moans became louder and higher pitched was making him painfully hard and he wanted-no needed to be inside of you before he was sure he would come right then and there.

Your eyes were still closed when you felt him settle between your legs once more, eyes hazy and smile lazy as you felt him tug your panties down your legs. Your ass lifted briefly to help and you giggled when he grunted in annoyance from having to shuffle backwards to slip them off completely. He laughed with you as his hand cupped you by your jaw, lips finding yours in a tender kiss and the hand that had been rubbing at your clit was used to steady yourself by his shoulder. His muscles flexed under your touch and your breaths intermingled as he stared at you with such an intensity that you felt your stomach flip. You looked down to where he rubbed his length along your folds and gulped.

"I-I'm nervous." You admitted, cheeks blushing and Eren kissed your temple.

"It's okay, I'll take care of you. Do you trust me?" You gasped at the intensity in his eyes, Eren Yeager was one who never beat around the bush and you felt tears pool around your eyes as you nodded. Everything leading up to this moment overwhelmed you suddenly, losing your family, gaining your dream job, becoming independent so quickly, and falling in love with a man who turned into what so many feared but who let you place` flower crowns on his head during tea parties. He continued to maintain eye contact with you, your lips parting and eyes partly closing as he began to push past your labia. It all felt too much, but you wouldn't want to be anywhere else in that exact moment Eren pressed his tip into your passageway. There was a bit of resistance and the guttural moan he released made your eyes widen in an audible gasp, he looked ethereal with reddened cheeks, a slacked opened jaw, eyes that looked close to tears, and thin layer of sweat making his dark brown locks stick to his forehead.

He pushed another inch in, trying his best to not act too quickly or too harshly. All he wanted to do was fucking ruin you. Mark you as his by impregnating you and watching as you took every drop of his semen. It seemed you wanted it too as your hips jerked forward and took in another inch.

"Eren, please." You had no idea what you were asking for, he was being slow and gentle and as much as you appreciated his mindfulness, it had been six long months and if you had to go through another night of humping your pillow or rubbing one out with only fantasies of Eren touching you (Sometimes even Levi, depending on how much alcohol you had consumed) you were gong to scream.

Another inch and a deep chuckle was his response. Your eyes were set ablaze as the realization that he was teasing you.

"Please what baby?"

"Give it to me." You whispered, your hand tugging at his hair harshly and the hiss of pain he released was simultaneous when he completely thrusted his entire length into you. Your thighs jerked at the sudden intrusion and the cry you let out was loud enough that if anybody were nearby, the would have assumed someone struck you. Your hand smacked against his chest, your breath ragged as you attempted to give Eren an angry glance but your pussy betrayed you as it clenched hard around him.

You both released a gasp when Eren fully bottomed out inside you. His hips flush against your parted thighs and your foreheads pressed against one another, lips brushing but not kissing yet as you two came to terms of what was being done. You and Eren were one, there was no going back from what was about to transpire and you silently prayed that he wouldn't regret it later.

"Stop being in your head," He murmured against your mouth, eyes looking into yours, "Be here..."

He gave a heavenly thrust and you felt his arms wrap themselves around your waist as he forced you to fall back onto your desk with a small uff and your hands fell onto his shoulders. Your legs locked around his waist and the new angle caused him to be deeper inside you, but he continued to stare at your with that same admiration from that day he had met you.

"With me."

You nodded slowly, kissing Eren for what felt like the first time. A bit shyly and unsure as your mouth moved against his slowly, you savored the taste of tea and something sweet from his tongue and you let one of your hands hold him by his face as the other found solace in his hair.

Eren began to thrust into you, the rhythm a bit off at first as you two tried to find what worked and when he dipped his hips a little and heard the string of filthy words leaving your mouth, he gave a knowing smirk.

"Hmm, right there princess?"

You panted, your tongue lolling out as his began to go faster. One of your hands shot out to the side to brace yourself on something when Eren began to fuck you harder and instead you turned to see you hand knocked your bottle of ink over, the deep blue liquid was spilling everywhere but before you could let your brain process the mess, Eren began to suck on the flesh of your neck that you exposed when you moved your head. You moaned as you closed your eyes at the overwhelming sensations of it all, your hands grabbing at the muscles in his back and you arched your own and pressed your chest into him.

"Oh fuck," Eren moaned out, "This pussy is so good. You're taking me so well, princess."

"Yeah?" You panted out, "Going to cum in me, baby?"

Eren picked himself up on his forearms, too preoccupied with how pretty your tits looks bouncing with each thrust to notice the your hair was sprawled all over and the upper part of his arm was touching something wet, he figured it was the sweat you two were producing with your coupling.

"I'm gonna get you pregnant, make you mine forever."

"I'm yours!" You screamed as his hips slammed particularly harder down onto your own.

"Choke me, make me a mommy, cum in me, just please don't stop fucking me." You cried out, and a new sort of excitement showed in his eyes, his hand cupped just below your jaw and the light pressure he put on you made you moan louder.

The sounds of skin smacking, panting breaths, and heavy moans filled the air. Eren coaxing you to come all over his dick as you begged him to not pull out of you echoed of the walls of your office. You went on like that for a good while and you giggled in realization that your silent wish for everyone to leave the two of you alone for a while had come true.

Unbeknownst to you two, there had almost been three interruptions. The first being Captain Levi who wanted to ask if mixing his blood pressure medicine with wine would be too dangerous, but when he heard you scream he almost barged in before the unmistakable moan that followed made him fully come to a halt. He didn't even think twice about what was transpiring, briefly remembering that Eren was in fact with you this morning before quickly turning around and hauled ass as far from the hallway as he could. He wasn't sure where he was heading before he stumbled into Erwin's office, the commander looking up to see his captain look like he just ran a marathon.

"Levi? You look like you just saw a ghost?" His eyebrows creased, "Are you okay?"

"Yeager isn't as dense as we thought."

Eren stood to his full height, grabbing at your ankles and moving your legs onto his shoulders to they were fully parallel to his body. You let out another giggle at how your ankles were now on either side of his head, but the small kiss he gave your right one made you let out a noise of adoration. He gripped your hips, smiling as he noted the streaks of something blue all over your chest and neck but decided against telling you as your pussy began to pulsate around him. There was no way in hell he was going to stop you from orgasming.

The second time was Sasha and Connie as they wanted to ask if eating candies with the wrapper still on was anything they needed to worry about, but the sounds of your desk scraping across the floor with Eren commending you for being a good girl and taking him so well made the both of them stare at each other with wide eyes. The "Huh?"'s they exchanged were amusing to anyone else and Sasha grabbed Connie by the collar before they hightailed out of there. Connie wanting to see if Eren had really been capable of pulling you and Sasha calling it bullshit and stating that the real reason was that he wanted to see you naked.

His thrusts became wild and sloppy, the slushing sounds you two were making was the hottest sounds you ever heard. You held onto his wrists, your smile wide and beautiful and Eren knew he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer.

"I'm not gonna last long," He let you know, you nodded as you reached down to rub your clit in circles.

"Fuck, you look so hot." He blurted, his cheeks a deeper red and you gave him another soft smile.

"Thanks, baby. You too." His abs were going to be the death of you and you hoped you would get the chance to suck him off later to lick them one by one in foreplay.

You felt him begin to twitch in you and you knew you were so close, your rubbing speeding up as Eren's thrusts were becoming more sporadic. The way his eyes began to roll upwards had you chanting,

"I'm-I'm cumming!" Your moan was breathy and high as you felt your release overwhelm your senses, you felt euphoria as you moaned so loud that Jean and Floch who didn't believe Connie when he said that Eren had managed to bed you stared at each other with wide eyes and gaped mouths as they stood outside your door. Their cheeks red as they rushed down the hallway as if their asses were on fire, not even halfway down the stairs when they felt their collars yanked at so harshly they almost trampled down, Captain Levi's glare knowing as he began to reprimand them for being nosy pricks.

Eren's cock dove into you hard and you felt him pulsate as he shot long ropes of cum into you, his essence overflowing as he filled you to the brim and painted your insides white.

His moan was unbelievably loud and low, the "I love you." That followed didn't go unnoticed by you and the smile he gave, made you realize how much he meant it.

"I love you." Your answered back, he pushed your thighs to your chest when he lowered himself to kiss you. His cock softening inside you and he slowed his thrusts down and milked himself dry. He tapped his tip on your sensitive clit, making sure he was empty before tucking himself back into his boxers and jeans. The creampie in you was beginning to ooze out and he used his two fingers to push it back in, your hips bucking at the intrusion and you whined about your sensitivity.

You sat up, your hand going to fix your hair, only groaning slightly when you felt the ink on some strands already drying. You huffed before jumping down and fixing your dress. Eren was putting his shirt back on, his back slightly turned to you and your eyes widened in embarrassment at seeing the blue ink in what was obviously your finger prints streaked all over. You looked down and saw that it had well faded from your hands, transferring to your lover who put on his jacket. You shrugged, figuring no one would see it and you could wash your hands later. Your hair would be a bit tricky to explain but you would be home to shower soon anyway, which reminded you-

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" You blurted, scaring Eren as his eyes widened, you bit the inside of your cheek and fumbled with your fingers.

He smiled, walking up to you and kissing you on the lips before replying, "I would love to. I have to do some work today, and pack an overnight bag but I'll be home by dinner." His eyes looked you over, stifling a laugh when he saw the marks of blue ink on your neck, debating on telling you but not being able to deny how cute they looked on you, a gentle reminder of what happened just moments ago and an odd turn on for him to think of it as him marking you as his, the lovebite also on the side making him watch you with love.

You nodded before giving a follow-up question, "Chicken or fish?"

"Fish." He nodded, you grabbed a few papers from your desk drawer and Eren asked if you were all set before taking your hand into his as the two of you began to walk out the office, you mentioned having to speak to Erwin about the cadet recovering from a broken limb and Eren listened patiently, your hands swinging in between the two of you and you both relished at how easy it felt to transition into a life of domestication together. He walked you to Erwin's office, his knuckles knocking on the door before a loud, "One minute!" replied.

You both shared a look of confusion before shrugging and stepping to the side. You fixing his hair and Eren's hand resting on top of your hips when the office door opened. You both turned to see Jean and Floch who sported sullen faces, their arms swinging in front of them as if they were children just denied a cone of ice cream.

"Boys?" You called, your free hand interlocking with Eren who stood in place as you took a step toward the pair. "Everything alright?"

They looked between you and Eren, Jean seeing the ink marks on your neck and seeing Eren's hair haphazard was enough to make him look to the floor, his cheeks reddening and Eren could only smirk. Floch was the opposite, he couldn't take his eyes off you as his face held a permanent grimace and you wondered if he was constipated.

"Baby," Eren called, tugging you back to him and Jean scoffed, Possessive ass is already showing her off. He thought to himself.

"They just got yelled at by Erwin, whatever they did was obviously bad, just leave them be."

You nodded in understanding, giving them a comforting smile and Floch didn't miss the knowing look in Eren's eyes.

"Sorry to hear about that. If you two ever need anything, you know where my office is."

"Yeah, that's the problem." Captain Levi's voice came from the doorway. Jean and Floch mumbled a quick goodbye before scurrying away and you couldn't help but fall into deeper confusion.

The captain and Eren exchanged looks before Eren bent to kiss your cheek.

"I got to go. I'll see you later, princess." You blushed at the nickname and public display, murmuring a soft okay in reply as your boyfriend? walked away from you.

You gave Levi a smile which he didn't return, you didn't miss the small blush on his cheeks and you figured it was from seeing such intimacy from Eren. You were almost positive Levi was still a virgin. Walking into Erwin's office, you all but skipped the man's desk, falling beside him and giving him a bright smile which he returned.

"Hey Erwin, just wanted to update you on the cadet's recovery plan. He should be back in training in a few months if he listens to my instructions, think you can help me?"

"Sure what do you need?"

"Well, I'd need you to sign these release forms first." You shrugged putting the papers in front of him, you looked at his desk and grabbed the pen, "Where's your ink?"

The chuckle the two men gave you made your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"What?"

"Seems like you're wearing it, Doc." Levi's eyes flickered to your neck.

You let out a gasp and your hands slapped to cover you and the laughs that followed only made you blush furiously.

Dammit, You thought, Eren you idiot.

[noobsomeexagerjunk]

"MAKE THE SERVER BETTER. This is what I need to do."

An Analysis on Ranboo's Philosophy and Vision for the Dream SMP

One of the most consistent traits about Ranboo is his inconsistency, especially in his beliefs and choices, all influenced within the moment.

Now I was thinking back to when Ranboo had that explicit desire for a "happy family" when it became clear to us that he and Dream seem to share similar goals and desires for the server. It's been a few months since that stream, and Ranboo's gone through some changes as a character. Through experimentation, he relearns and rediscovers himself, most of it away from us particles. He now has the experience to choose people more discriminatingly, having a gauge on who still believes and/or benefits from his optimism and those who don't.

With a better grasp on his more persuasive and ambitious self, as well as a slightly stronger spine, I am going to attempt to make sense of what Ranboo's opinions most likely must be by now, having been in the server for half a year now.

1. "You have to think for yourself sometimes."

(from Ranboo’s first conversation with Slimecicle, 06/18/2021)

So you know how Ranboo is an anarchist, or at least identifies as such, at least within the context of the Anarchist Syndicate, right?

One of the most significant things we must pay attention to is Ranboo's anarchist tendencies. Based on his general experiences but particularly his conversation with Slime and his initiation to the Syndicate, Ranboo cares heavily about personal autonomy and the right to self-expression and self-preservation. His aversion to factional sides was initially derived from the existing factions he was exposed to being unfair and demanding of its members, as reflected in his experiences in New L'Manburg.

It's upon further inspection that these sympathies constitute his concerns over People. It's why he fights for and sides with People in general, as a concept and principle.

2. "Why can’t I have friends on opposite sides?!"

(from Ranboo’s Pre-Doomsday speech after the Community House confrontation, 01/05/2021)

Something Ranboo also believes in is the idea that everyone is valuable and capable of many things unique to themselves. Therefore, he recognizes and gives (as much as he could muster) care to Peoples' needs, concerns, and beliefs, most especially when he is demanded of it by whoever asks of him. He values loyalty toward friendships and relationships in their base form, as opposed to causes. (Especially relationships made from and because of causes.)

Another reason why Ranboo despises factional sides, especially the ones he was a part of, is that these sides' own beliefs and principles believe themselves to be above the other and vice versa. Ranboo's ability to recognize two (if not more) sides of an argument leads him to value both sides to such an extent that he believes one is not above the other. To him, People—individuals with inherent value and free will—are more than the causes—whose necessity changes over time and can only be a solution to specific, changing problems—they believe in.

3. "When the leader gets corrupted, then...we'll see what happens."

(from Ranboo's monologue after speaking with Ghostbur on the topic of killing Dream, 03/15/2021)

Something of particular fascination is Ranboo's dislike for leaders as a concept, a belief shared only by Technoblade and the rest of the Anarchist Syndicate. For them, and Ranboo, leaders are at the end of the day People. They are infallible and capable of making wrong choices. The very concept of a leader, too, suggests superiority in the ability and the dependence on only the causes of that leader, chosen or not. To them, no one should be above or below anybody. A leader creates that distinction.

An ideal SMP for Ranboo is one without leaders, where one's choices and manner of living, as dictated by their beliefs, is not above one or the other. In comparison, many characters who have expressed their visions of an ideal Dream SMP all have a leader in them!

We have Dream, who wants a server that fits his specific vision and needs and desires, a server that serves him, with his and only his vision of an ideal SMP—one where he has total control over all of the server. A less extreme version of this is held by the de-facto head of the neutral Badlands, BadBoyHalo.

Characters like Quackity, Schlatt, and Jack Manifold all believe in the concept of adherence and obedience to order and law as means to get something done. It also makes sense why these three also have a history of being quite literally Presidents of countries, whether corrupt like Manburg, discarded like Manifoldland, or ambitious like Las Nevadas.

There are also other leaders like Wilbur, Eret, and Tubbo, who have a partiality to order and leadership. The difference with them is that they believe in relative leeway in priority towards the ruled-over people. They believe in an SMP wherein a leader and their people share a mutual obligation towards each other's benefit and progress. Whether a cause that can help should be involved may be of consideration too, because as far as I know, these three mastered each of the 3 facets of the Greek art of persuasion:

Wilbur, in particular, is a heavy advocator of the use of cause in leadership, hence his use of speech to give rise to emotions, aka pathos.

Tubbo leans towards common sense and reason, having a tendency to use logos.

Eret is partial to a more general sense of righteousness, therefore basing many of his actions on the character of the people around him and having a strong focus on their and their subjects' own ethos.

4. "Who am I?" "I am somebody who stops conflict."

(from page 12 of Ranboo's current memory book)

Despite these differing ideas on what is good for the SMP, the one thing everyone has in common is that they all want a server where peace, to their standard and contentment, is achieved.

For Ranboo, this means no Conflict.

Bear in mind that he admits in his pre-Doomsday speech that Conflict can never be truly eradicated, acknowledging that personal conflicts between individual persons are still bound to happen.

Though, as stated in his various monologues in regards to killing Dream (particularly when he was grieving Tommy and after talking with Ghostbur) the Conflict he desires to get rid of is the big, overarching kind.

These are Conflicts that disrupt the happiness of, if not all, significant numbers of People. Conflicts that perpetuate a cycle of unnecessary violence, conflicts that escalate from the pettiest of disputes, conflicts rooted in a refusal of a person/faction/cause to simply coexist with everyone else.

This is Ranboo's major goal in reference to the whole of the server. This is a major motivation for all of his decisions and actions too.

5. “It should be all of us working together.”

(from page 14 of Ranboo’s first memory book)

When Ranboo explicitly repeated wanting "one big happy family," words that came out of Dream's own mouth, he's describing his vision of an ideal Dream SMP. It can be argued that he and Dream have the same goals, right?

Well, obviously, not quite.

Dream and Ranboo have very different visions for the server, the common thing being their determination to get everyone to cooperate with their vision no matter what. We see the vague and ominous actions of Ranboo while Enderwalking, how much bolder and aggressive he can get. He's seemingly more dedicated to this goal that way.

Based on the previous points, Ranboo's vision of a better Dream SMP is one where everyone exists as they are, freely and without division, where no one is above or below the other, and that they can put their dedications to causes aside for care and love for each other. People regardless of skill or situation just living together peacefully! where the Conflict is not big enough to harm but big enough to constitute what it means to be alive! No one's telling the other how to live because they understand and respect each other's choices and differences!

With how he approaches the fulfillment of this ideal, I dare say he does indeed fight for something, and it's the cause of all causes.

But what about those other people who aren't so compromising? Well, I wager those are the people Ranboo ought to snap against. Ranboo's ideal SMP is rooted in coexistence, therefore it demands compromise and tolerance. Funny just how many people on the server fight for causes that refuse to give that.

Ranboo definitely knows he can't achieve the server he wants alone, and knowing everyone else, he knows getting everyone to get along will be much harder in execution.