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unoriginalityriver · 8 months

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getting real nostalgic over 2020 for some reason.

#why do i feel like nothing is the same ever since #like our perception of time changed #and the algorithm for tiktok and other social media apps drastically changed #and the internet in general #it somehow became more embedded in our lives #a part of the real world #and i remember how popular existentialism and spiritualism were back then #so many theories about our existence and so on #it was cool #and the occult #omg and the colours and indie music #it was also important to me because i was 14 at the time and i feel like that age is a turning point in everyone's life #2020 #nostalgia

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codacheetah · 4 months

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The start of the Loop segment of the Siffrin & friends twitter QNA, and the message that flipped Loop's answers from silly to dodgy and blatantly upset.

Loopchat from speaking to Loop 20+ times.

Certified Loop dysphoria post

#isat loop #isat spoilers #i was gonna make a whole semisilly post abt how i think the public perception of loop as 'cunty' is kind of funny #(has bought into it before)#but to be honest it just made me start thinking more abt how loop perceives themself.#loop telling siffrin not to die too early so they have more time to go :( at siffrin's drawing. or well i guess it'd be :#man.#it does....interest me #siffrin seems to not be particularly dysphoric in like a gender sense. expresses interest in body craft but thinks #(You dont mind inhabiting this meat prison for the time being.) as well so #but by becoming a star loop kind of. simultaneously loses the freedom to Change the way they want to. no guarantee bodycraft works on stars #and loses the comfort of inhabiting their own body #congrats on the new body loop! sorry about the dysphoria #for as much as it's fun to poke at loop for being very obvious once you Know #it does. resonate something with me i guess that of all things this is one of the few things that loop isn't very good at deflecting about.#(in the sense of cutting the conversation short before it becomes capital o Obvious they are upset anyways)#i'm aware they were already transgender before becoming a star. but very transgender of you loop #oh! i guess i can say on the topic of cunty loop #it's kind of funny. like im not immune to drawing Cute Loops or making them silly and dramatic and flirty #and i think the thread of Drama they show on top of their not-typically-masculine (ig???) demeanor and flirting with siffrin #makes the perception of them as like. there has to be a better word than cunty but. cunty. somewhat understandable #once more the loop has deceived you. i mean i do think the drama is a little bit real they are a hashtag theater kid #but they have deceived you. you have fallen into their spiderweb of believing they are anything other than the world's most miserable beast #with your help we can crowdfund enough silver coins to buy loop a dysphoria hoodie. if we hit our stretch goal it can have a print on it

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outlying-hyppocrate · 4 months

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in line to the bathroom just to cry!!

#random thoughts #gender dysphoria.#felt it especially this morning when some lady from this organization that worked with our school called me christine.#CHRISTINE.#do i honestly look like a christine??#(not her fault but still.)#but she kept fucking misgendering me. i bet it was the shirt i was wearing.#normally i wear more layers so as to make my body less. shaped.#BUT I RAN OUT OF NICE ONES AND SO I HAD TO WEAR ANOTHER.#it used to be my favorite shirt but now it is not. i hate it.#either it is too small for me or i am too large for it. and either way i want to fucking stab myself because of it #augh. wanted to cry earlier. but didn't.#still sort of do when i think about it. i get misgendered often but. augh.#and the comment my mother made a while ago. about. how can i be a boy if all my friends are girls?#WELL SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU HAVE NOT MET HALF THE BOYS IN MY SCHOOL. FUCKING IDIOT DUMBASS. HAVE YOU NO COMMON SENSE #TO KNOW THAT TIMES ARE CHANGING AND WE ARE NOT STUCK IN YOUR WARPED PERCEPTION OF GENDER NORMS?? HELLO??#i hate my body so much unironically. if i could fix it somehow.#i have been trying to fix it so hard for so long but it hasn't fucking worked and it's gone in the OPPOSITE WAY. and i am RUINING MY BODY.#AND I FUCKING HATE IT.#sometimes it feels as if nothing is good. i want to shave my head again and be perpertually ugly.#i need new hair.#i need to fix everything.#please.#i have no motivation to do it but i need to do it.#i know i'm a boy. i just want to be a boy for everyone else.

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araneitela · 5 months

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Me staring at test results: It makes so much sense for her, but if I don't specify or elaborate, then we end up with the fanon take. Ugh, how do I easily explain that if you look at the word 'sex' through a much more old-fashioned lens instead of the modern one, that you'll get a vastly different picture of it?

/takes angycat.png typing to my tags

#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.#[ post-it. ] in a way; you are poetry material. you are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out.#[ i'm so tired. i need to write a post on this or something. and somehow add it to my pinned. in some way. ]#[ 'sex' and 'seduction' are /not/ wrong in my opinion. HOWEVER-- they are /very wrong/ if we go by modern labels and perception. ]#[ god the horror of writing a muse that is so interlaced in a modern world; setting and culture but seems to /ooze/ something archaic. ]#[ this level of refinement isn't of our times in my opinion. these things that she loves aren't commonly loved nowadays. ]#[ there's so much about her that is old-fashioned to me and it's so in my face. and yet fanon doesn't see it. ]#[ i can't believe i'm an old millennial who's screaming boomer or older things. ]#[ but like can we acknowledge that sex in today's age isn't the same as it used to be? not /always/ but more generally so. ]#[ can we acknowledge that /seduction/ didn't always mean what people see it to mean now? ]#[ can we acknowledge that the FEMME FETALE TROPE HAS CHANGED /LEAGUES/ since the 2000s? ]#[ which is my biggest beef actually. and maybe all of my frustration plays into this most. it's that the femme fatale now is sexualized. ]#[ while that is /not/ what the femme fatale used to be. kafka plays into the old school femme fatale so well. film noir days. ]#[ i had this same struggle on yelan where they make VERY OBVIOUS draws to it by her music in her trailer. god; the jazz. ]#[ but kafka suffers from this so very much as well to a point where i don't dare to call her a femme fatale because then it's fanon. ]#[ the fanon i hate so much. ]#[ but just uuuughhhh. UGHHH. it's so much to explain. ]

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here-there-were-dragons · 3 months

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i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that

#mostly i've just seen like “how dare you ask questions you just want an excuse to murder you're sealioning ect”#or worse some vague and wildly improbable nonsense about like. fake robot animals covered in beyond meat or something equally convoluted #which is a thing i did see someone suggest as a serious answer #i mean i already know they think i'm a genetically inferior hateful vampire that should starve to death for the greater good #because my exact combination of health conditions make meat basically the only semi-safe way i can get close to enough nutrients #i know this because they have repeatedly told me that i'm either evil or should be sacrificed or both #and yelled at me for asking questions by bringing up the whole disabled thing and then they're like #“a lot of vegans i know are advocates for disability!” as if that ever means jack shit in the society that results from anything #no matter what you do a vast majority of people in any given society will *not* be advocates for the disabled. i'm sorry they just won't.#and what do you think public perception of people who physically can't survive like that is going to skew towards #in a society founded on the belief that non-vegan diets are evil?#at absolute best we're looking at being a heavily marginalized class generally seen as something like vampires and our existences taboo.#(as if these type's own insistence that they should be allowed to harass and shame people doesn't disprove their assertion that we won't be #thinking it could possibly go any better than that is a fucking fairy tale. human nature doesn't work that way.#you simply cannot eliminate the human desire to designate and abuse a class of have-nots. the absolute best you can do is mitigate damage.#take it from someone who's been multiple kinds of disabled and chronically ill all my life. people will not “just”. ever.#i get this even from people who are otherwise very aware of and VERY GOOD at avoiding this sort of thinking #“i'm a disability advocate!” no you are not. you are a poster. my experience has taught me that what people advocate for in their free time #means precisely jack shit for how they will actually act when faced with the situations they make otherwise rational posts about #and the fact of the matter is even if you somehow really are the perfect disability advocate a majority of people WILL NOT BE YOU.#a majority of people in society will be margrat from accounting who clutches her pearls when she sees the gays and thinks autism isnt real #and who has never had a nuanced thought in her life and actively does not want to #a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will not be you and your friends who march with wheelchair users and volunteer at the shelte #a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will be jenny who starved 8 cats to death on broccoli because she can't be bothered #and who thinks that “carnivores” are actual nazis and don't deserve healthcare because she saw someone say that online.#ALWAYS assume your society will be made up mostly of the worst kind of person it can because it WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE and you can't change it #most people seek the low-effort option. and evil is most often banal and low-effort.#i'm just so fucking tired of every single even vaguely lefty-adjacent political movement simultaneously acting like i don't fucking exist #and at the same time that i need to be sacrificed to achieve Utopia. god. at least conservative whackjobs are upfront and honest about #how they think that i'm a burden on society that needs to be Eugenics'd . rather than trying to morally gaslight me about it.

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thats-a-lot-of-cortisol · 5 months

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Io screenshots send post

#image ids in alt text #i am once again giggling kicking my feet over the underdark lighting #it's SO GOOD #very slowly building my collection of screenshots of io and laezel together #my partner and i thought we were done with the underdark at the end of our last play session and the *relief* i felt #until we realized that we still had to do grymforge 😔#i realized that i gave io a visible scar even though she's never really seen combat pre-game oops #ive decided that she hit a table corner as a teenager and makes up a story about it every time someone asks #that changes depending on whether or not she likes the asker's vibes #it really adds to the perception that io's a seasoned adventurer which is. Not true #they're just willing to get their hands dirty and know how to talk to people #bg3 #bg3 tav #io dein #io x laezel #my post #my oc #bg3 screenshots #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 act 1 #bg3 drow #bg3 cleric #drow cleric #eilistraee cleric

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the-voice-of-night-vale · 4 months

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social anxiety can be really funny in retrospect bc it will have you saying shit like 'is it weird to call a doctor's office and schedule an appointment?"with 100% sincerity and panicking about it as if that's not the silliest thing in the world

#this is a personal post about my own experiences having grown up with a debilitating social anxiety disorder #that is more or less under control thanks to meds #if you are scared of calling doctors offices or ordering subway or Being In Public i am not mocking you #anxiety disorders are disorders BECAUSE they are debilitating phobias that lacks logic #(hence why CBT for anxiety often talks about thinking through anxiety with logic)#mostly it's remarkable how far i've come in just four years (i was looking back through old personal posts) and i'm making a joke about tha #bc it feels silly from the other end! but i also remember being that person. i remember how fucking horrible it was #and the thing about anxiety is it does look silly or baseless or stupid from the outside #and sometimes we even see that. but that doesn't change the fact that our brains and bodies are working against us #social anxiety really fucks with your perception of reality. i don't want to say like.. to the level of delusions but it will have you #Making Shit Up. felt extreme social anxiety getting food at a buffet as a child. like to the point where i didn't want to do it if i didn't #have someone else with me bc i thought doing anything Alone was Weird. including. walking #my brain was just gaslighting me to the point of paranoia and of course anyone who's been gaslit or otherwise manipulated #feels stupid once they have the benefit of hindsight. especially when the call was coming from inside the fucking house!#because it seems 'obvious' now. but that doesn't matter!#which is why i'm saying like. if you are the person feeling Wrong being alone in public or making phone calls #i Have Been There. I was there for most of my life lol. i spent more time constantly anxious than i have spent with controlled anxiety #i Remeber what it was like. so this is not me saying “git gud” it's me saying “damn getting better and having hindsight will leave you #thinking about the past in a different light!" which is just how the progression of time #and character development works lol #anyway #the queen of trash has spoken

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minglana · 6 months

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so crazy seeing my cousins post aesthetic pics of my village street. maam thats a rundown house with the roof caved in next to the ugliest house in the village

#and the street pavement is green bc no one cleans it so its full of like algae or whatever the fuck #bc of the winter humidity (and fog). like thats ugly as hell😭#thr comparison between my cousins and i is crazy in regards to how we approach the village #all my other cousins post or have posted aesthetic pics of random streets or like. roads #bc i think to them its just another village. like yeah their grandma/grandpa is from there #but i think that just spending the holidays here (instead of like. staying 3+ months in the summer and normal weekends)#has made them treat the village as just another place. idk what even im trying to say but #it just feels kinda disgenuine when they aesthetize (?) the village like that #like for example my friend who has LIVED in the village her entire life doesnt post stuff like that #she posts stuff from her house or something. but not of like random streets yknow. and if she posts something from the street #its bc something else is the focus. and shes not just using it as a pretty backdrop or whatever #ok that last tag is what i was trying to get at i just didnt know how to word it #and yeah i think the more time youve lived or spent in the village the less you make it into a pretty backdrop #ive even seen my (other) cousins mom do this. and yeah shes older but also the house they have is just a vacation house #in comparison to for example my family. where our house has always been lived in (so far) so i think it just felt...#(it=going to the village) less like a 'getaway' and more as just like. changing living locations for x time yknow #idk idk. maybe its just my weird perception of my village and the weird attatchment i have to it #but yeah #z xarre

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noxtivagus · 2 years

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i want to write many books just filled with my thoughts so i can organize n share them with the world to last for a long time

#n like in the future maybe imagine someone. maybe even a century from now #someone as curious as me #i wonder how i may impact others lives #the value of each if our own individual existences is just so special #hmm i really do personally wonder though about what those who know me think of me #and what i mean to all of them #and how their perceptions could have changed across time. with knowledge and growth. whether their personal own or relating to me myself #just a thought. maybe a wish. a question?#if you get the reference with that i love you 🫶🏼#i think everyone's special but there's a special place in my heart for people like me #similar to me. with values and morals. life experiences?#curious individuals. creative. through writing or drawing or music or whatever #that harbor a deep love for life and themselves and everyone they care for #in a bit of a romantic way. that's as beautiful as a poem or story #intelligent people. that love to learn as well.#we all have our problems n our mistakes n shortcomings #the way we deal with them n go on from them. i like kind people that are sensitive and emotional. and aren't necessarily afraid to admit it #resilient people. grit. even if it hurts we always try and keep on trying #i have a special fondness for the people who love to give and do things for others. and get shy when it's reciprocated n now they're #yk the target of that soft affection.#i love quiet moments. people that make time slow down. maybe they could be insecure about how slow they may be but.#i think it's endearing in those serene moments #laughs. banter. teasing. playful moments. funny comments. the shifts in the voice and the eyes and smiles #i love life. the little things matter so much to me. everything means so much to me. it's all just so beautiful #i'm no stranger to pain. and i can see n. as an empath i think really feel to an extent the pain of others as well #and so. these ephemeral moments. these intricate details. how special they are to me. i can't even begin to start #;w;; yk i wish i cld just tell everyone how much i care for them personally as an individual #how much they mean to me. what i think and feel about everyone in my life. there's so much i have to say #n someday i hope. there's really so much to life uwah i can't help but think about it all right now 🥹🫶🏼#life is so special honestly. everyone is so special. wooo 2 am thoughts

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canpandaspvp · 3 months

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congrats on the. ex????

tbh we might as well be like. people still think we're dating

#i think of her like an ex i mean we were pretty much dating #the only thing we didn't do is kiss and even THAT was like. our faces were never more than an inch apart #the conversation usually goes ''oh how's ****?'' ''she's good. she's got a boyfriend now though''#''aww but you guys were so cute together :('#''oh haha thanks but um...we were never actually dating''#and then you watch their whole perception of me change in real time #''but what about that time you got married in front of the entire school??'' ''it was a bit''#''what about that time you guys went to prom together as dates?''#''friend date'' ''WHAT ABOUT''#if i was an influencer id be accused of queerbaiting more than dream i think #anyways hashtag livelaughlove #🍓.ask

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elodieunderglass · 1 year

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changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.

I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.

Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.

No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.

But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?

#this is the sort of observation I make here that people #go off and write their thesis about #so while I’m not expecting to be the first or cleverest person to say this #if you do use it as a springboard #tell me if you get a good grade ok?#I’ll be tremendously proud of you #like if you take a shitpost and use it to craft deep attentive thought on something important #I just think that’s probably the most noble use of a human brain #it makes me want to take off my hat and slam it to the ground in inexpressible emotion #it’s a cowboy hat btw #and I say something like GOLDURN IT THAT KID SURE HAS DELIVERED.#ok so don’t deny me this #especially if you correct me after a long research journey #GOLDURN IT THE KID IS RIGHT!

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naofaun · 11 months

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people in this fandom act like being an anime only is some horrible terrible insult to your quality of life... like im sorry i cant sit down and read the manga? have you ever thought that maybe some people just... can't or even don't like to read?

#like im sorry #i sit down open a book and either get distracted #or cant process a single word on the page #i can barely process the fucking anime most nights #liek chill out #sure we're missing scenes and characters are different #but the second we open tumblr everyones yelling at us about characters anyway #the second an episode is animated and bones cuts out scenes people get angry and we see the manga panels #chill out girl we're not all evil and mischaracterizing people #even if someone is mischaracterizing someone #its not a bad thing 😭 its fandom it happens all the time #peoples perception of characters is GOING to change #manga readers mischaracterize all tbe damn time #and even then #ITS NOT OUR FAULT BONES CUTS SCENES OUT #sorry to rant oh my god #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #{ ♡ } nao : bsd . . .#bsd anime #bungou gay dogs #bsd manga

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drchucktingle · 10 months

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i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS

okay here is what i have to say:

i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work

HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.

this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay

a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK

HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.

YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.

I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL

of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.

i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.

it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.

but it is not a simple button push.

talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.

but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot

i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect

#trans #non dysphoric #buckaroo lifestyle #love is real #trot of chuck

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kindacreepy-kindaugly · 1 year

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No offense but it feels like absolute torture living as an extrovert who processes things by talking and has a base need for social interaction when you have no outlet/source for that

#i don't even mean talking about the heavy difficult shit even if i guess i do that too much too #but i just...need...connection #real conversations about whatever that last for more than a couple of sentences #if we're getting really crazy here then maybe even sometimes to talk about things i'm interested in and to be listened to #i can't talk about this without people getting defensive but it's like. i'm not angry. i know the common denominator there is me #and well most of us in this system #i'm not angry i'm sad #there's something wrong with us but idk what it is. our needs? the way we talk? what we talk about? the timing?#been trying n trying but can't find the problem #is it the need itself?#do most people live their lives happy with just snippets of interaction n never knowing if what they say will get a response or go ingored?#cause i'm starting to think it's that. we need more than people are supposed to need. which is pretty fucking bad cause it doesn't feel like #somethin we can change. it's very very inherent to us #i could probably do it if i was left to just withdraw but i'm still expected to be available to react for others so #it's like i only get this halfway option that doesn't let me cut off the need but also leaves it totally unfulfilled #n it's fucking killing me 🙂 like i legitimately cannot do this for much longer #extra fun cause our perception of reality is fucked to begin with n then we got lowkey gaslit by a bunch of pretend friends for years #so we genuinely have no idea if our perception of things is even remotely accurate. like maybe i'm just imagining things #maybe we really need to start doing fucking tally marks or some shit so we'd at least know #if we're just hurt by something we're not supposed to be hurt by or if we're also imagining it on top of that #fuck this fucking brain it's like someone just stuffed the most incompatible traits you can have into one person n called it a day #like here have a bunch of needs oh and also these things that means you can't get it met #oh and ALSO some other things that means you're incapable of genuine relationships with almost all people #cause it's apparently not hard enough if you don't also have a very limited circle of people n are incapable of connecting with the rest #spdrvent

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annabelle--cane · 1 year

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class and gender presentation is a particular Thing for me cause like. I've been poor my whole life, like malnourished-since-seventh-grade kind of poor, and I'm quite feminine, and my femininity inevitably makes people read me as wealthy. when I was a young kid, my classmates would phrase it like I dressed "fancy" or "old fashioned" ("fancy?" I would think, looking at my outfit that was just a single dress, literally one dress, the most simple and easy outfit a person can wear), and as I and my peers got older, that changed to people thinking I was some kind of like, old money heiress. because girlies who get free school lunches are incapable of wearing perfume, apparently.

multiple times a semester, I would have to explain and re-explain to teachers that I couldn't pay for mandatory field trips or extra-credit private tutoring, and every time they would think I was lying because I was too smart and too feminine to be poor. in some circumstances, when I tried to speak out about queerness or misogyny, it would get dismissed as hysterical privileged whinging because I had the audacity to wear dangly earrings and sit with my legs crossed while talking about domestic abuse.

like I Know there are ways that certain standards of femininity are locked behind paywalls or incompatible with manual labor jobs, but I honestly think a lot of our perception of femininity as upper class comes from the way that femininity / womanhood (not the same thing, but often considered as such) are seen as artificial, fragile, and frivolous. I would stand next to my classmates, me in my threadbare sundress that I'd been wearing for eight years and them in their brand new designer athleisure wear, and they'd say "okay obviously you're going to play the rich bully in this educational skit about classism."

anyway. I've never played disco elysium but I love this screenshot so much.

#id in alt text #marina marvels at life

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tsukimefuku · 3 months

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3rd of july ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆.˚ nanami kento

piece written in collaboration with my beloved friend and one of my favorite people, @rahuratna, for nanami's (a.k.a. internet's collective husbando) birthday. 💜🧡 content warning: fluff/comedy/sugestiveness word count: 1k

Nanami wasn't one to make big celebrations on his birthday. Up until he met you, he'd usually go about his work day quietly, saving up a few extra hours to simply go bowling or visit his favorite restaurants for dinner.

After you both started dating, not much had changed. You'd simply tag along for whatever he had planned, and would usually surprise him with something by the time you both got home - a box of dark chocolate, a new set of lingerie, a nice warm scented bath, a new CD album he had been looking for.

This time, however, you decided to push your luck on teasing the poor man.

On his birthday, of all days.

"Kento, how do you feel about surprise parties?" you ask, hiding the smile pulled on your cheeks behind your tea cup.

On the couch by your side, you could feel Nanami holding the urge to flinch the moment you were finished speaking.

"They are not my favorite," he answers in earnest.

"Seriously?" you inquire with a faux disheartened look.

"Yes," Nanami replies, with a tinge of concern to his voice.

"That is... unfortunate, then," you ensue, putting your tea on the coffee table and pulling your robe tighter around your body.

His Adam's apple bobs as he silently gulps.

"Why?"

"Well, my plan was to surprise you when you got home, but I figured you wouldn't want to get instantly jumped. So I told them to wait in the room," you finally say, with a grave finality, pointing to the closed bedroom door.

Truth is, he has no clue what you are really up to.

"Darling…" Nanami sighs, ever so patiently, "I thought it would just be the both of us unwinding, like the past years."

"I… I'm sorry, I really wanted to surprise you with something different this time."

You do sound regretful, and he plants a soft kiss on your cheek in response. Even now, he doesn't quite find it in himself to be annoyed at you, even if the prospect of Gojo lurking around his bedroom is enough to send disgusted shivers down his spine.

"It's… fine. Let's get this over with at once, and then have the house to ourselves."

"Are you sure? I could always go in there and tell them to-"

"No," he counters firmly. "You've arranged something a little different this year, and I'm going to appreciate it."

"Come on, then."

As perceptive as he is, Nanami doesn't notice the mischievous smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. Naturally, since you have successfully planted a seed in his mind, a terrifying image of his pristine suits being tried on by students and his custom made bowling ball being transformed into a disco light by the white-haired menace he calls a colleague.

When you reach the door and step aside for him, he visibly braces himself, fingers almost straightening a phantom tie at his throat.

"Sweetheart, I need to go and fetch a scarf. It's a little chilly in here."

Bless his heart. He's actually playing along.

You raise your voice.

"Oh, I left the blue one on the top shelf. Your closet."

"Right."

Nanami heads in with the air of a man charging from the trenches to face a volley of cannon fire. He stops dead in his tracks, eyes taking in the room.

It is empty of people, for starters.

The comforter on the bed has been pulled back, the white sheets scattered with rose petals. Candles have been placed strategically on the bedside table and vanity, emitting the subtle scent of the ocean. On a corner of the bed, a few ribbon-wrapped gifts await; a small stack of books and a box of his favourite dark chocolate with orange.

You saunter in behind him and he turns to you with a look that is both a solemn reprimand and a loving promise of a punishment you may appreciate later.

"Hmm. It's awfully crowded in here, my dear."

"Well, the rose petals were quite chatty, Kento. They've taken up all the space on our bed."

"They have indeed, you little-"

You laugh as you slip out of his reach, standing coyly in the doorway.

"Have a look at your gifts first."

He narrows his eyes, but approaches the bed, fingers unraveling the ribbon that holds the books together.

"What do we have here? 'The Master and Margarita.' Ah, wonderful. 'Bowling your way home: A salaryman's escape from bondage.'"

He pauses and raises an eyebrow and you gesture airily for him to keep going.

"Fine. What's this one? The-"

His voice cuts off abruptly.

"Kento? Are you all right?"

Very slowly, he turns to you.

"You got me the Kama Sutra?"

"I figured it would make a nice addition to your collection. I may even borrow it, from time to time."

You approach him now, casually opening the book to where you've placed a strategic leather marker within the section on sex positions.

"Since it's your birthday, maybe you'd like to start with the Virsha here?"

He considers the page seriously, before taking the book from you and flipping through it.

"I'm not sure, darling. You've put in enough effort setting all of this up."

Handing it back to you, he watches the flush that spreads upwards, across your neck as you are presented with the Indrani pose he has chosen instead.

"How about you let me do the work from here on out?"

"Well... "

"No, I insist."

His voice has that special intonation now, the husky rumble of desire, the inflection of hushed intimacy, the promise of that playful nature that only reveals itself when you're entangled in the sheets together.

You lay the book down, open to the very instructive illustration.

"In that case, let me present you with my last gift."

"There's another?"

Wordlessly, the robe you've been so studiously arranging around yourself slides to the floor. His kindling gaze takes in the sheer, violet lace, the tiny flowers embroidered strategically over the parts of you that he will discover at leisure.

***

Later, when the gossamer material lies discarded on the floor, when his exhausted limbs entwine with your own, when his golden hair runs like silk between your fingers, you speak into the hush of the bedroom.

"Happy birthday, my love."

His voice is muffled from where his face is pressed against your stomach.

"That was quite the surprise party."

"Maybe we should have one every year."

He snorts indignantly, but his lips curve in a smile against your skin all the same.

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