#like remus saying sirius gets into too many fights

[enbysiriusblack]

act 3 scene 1 mercutio and benvolio is the most wolfstar conversation ever.

Benvolio: I pray thee, good Mercutio, let's retire. The day is hot, the Capulet's abroad. And if we meet we shall not scape a brawl, for now, these hot days, is the mad blood stirring.

Mercutio: Thou art like one of those fellows that, when he enters the confines of a tavern, claps me his sword upon the table and says, 'God send me no need of thee!'; and by the operation of the second cup draws him on the drawer, which indeed there is no need.

Benvolio: Am I like such a fellow?

Mercutio: Come, Come, thou art as hot a jack in thy mood as any in Italy; and as soon moved to be moody, and as soon moody to be moved.

Benvolio: And what to?

Mercutio: Nay, an there was two such, we should have none shortly, for one would kill the other. Thou! Why, thou wilt quarrel with a man that hath a hair more or a hair less in his beard than thou hast. Thou wilt quarrel with a man for cracking nuts, having no other reason but because thou hast hazel eyes. What eye but such a an eye would spy out such a quarrel? Thy head is as full of quarrels as an egg is full of meat, and yet thy head hath been beaten as addle as an egg for quarreling. Thou hast quarrelled with a man for coughing in the street, because he hath wakened thy dog that hath lain asleep in the sun. Didst thou not fall out with a tailor for wearing his new doublet before Easter? With another for tying his new shoes with old ribbon? And yet thou wilt tutor me for quarreling!

Benvolio: An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any man should buy the fee- simple of my life for an hour and a quarter.

Mercutio: The fee simple! O' simple!

[kquil]

POLY MARAUDERS | HEROES IN TATTOOS PRT.6

06 : SELFISH DESIRES

SUM : it's your chance to make amends and push aside your selfish desires - your heart will ache but they're worth it 

TAGS. : modern au ; muggle au ; tattoo artist james potter ; piercer remus lupin ; angst ; idiots in love ; unexpected turn of events ; sirius is the main character here ; jk jk ; it's you~ hehe~ ; you'll see what i mean ; wolfstar have a heated argument ; i almost cried writing it ; i hate seeing them like that ; poor james ; james needs a hug ; regulus makes an appearance! ; dramatic sirius black ; regulus is a good brother ; sirius being an instigator ; we love him for it though ; you can't just leave them again! ; no fluff here kiddos ; but kiddos stay away! ; just cover your innocent eyes! 

LENGTH : 3.7k

← PREV. : 05 | DRUNK AND CIGARETTE SMOKE

“You’re disgusting,” Sirius manages an indifferent glance over at his younger brother before resuming his miserable, unmoving position on the sofa — Regulus’ sofa. The obvious detachment Sirius has to the situation only stirs his younger brother’s bubbling anger, “It’s almost been a full month! And you’re letting yourself rot away on my sofa; get a hold of yourself!” No response. Regulus shakes his head with a drawn out sigh, “you usually don’t stay around this long whenever there’s an argument… I wonder what’s happened this time…”

Deeming his older brother completely hopeless, Regulus returns to his sparse but sleek kitchen just as the kettle whistles its readiness to be poured for tea.   

Sirius breaths an audible sigh and grimaces at the stench of his breath. The mix of excessive alcohol, countless cigarettes and mountains of junk food didn’t make for a good concoction on his tongue, definitely not for fresh breath. When was the last time he had brushed his teeth? He brings a hand up to push straggling strands of hair away from his view but grumbles when the curls had knotted up too much for him to comb his hair back uninterrupted. Stone grey eyes look down at his figure, stagnant and pale, weighed heavy from low spirits. 

What followed the night you left their flat was the worst fight they have ever had. It was mainly between him and Remus while James remained in the background, too downhearted to contribute anything to the verbal warfare happening before him. He was spoiled with love since birth. As an only child with loving parents, who never fought in front of him, whenever Sirius and Remus argued, James was left paralysed with despair. It was always shocking to him how nasty those fights became; his parents never fought like that. Sirius could see it in his sweet hazel eyes that James wanted desperately to have peace but didn’t know how to steer things in that direction. He had tried before, many times, to defuse the situation but both Sirius and Remus were too stubborn and hot-headed from the argument as well as their suddenly stark differences in opinion to back down. 

As unfortunate as it is to think about, these fights happened often, recurring in the same exact way – originating from opposing opinions, primarily between him and Remus. They would try to keep it together but it would just keep piling up until someone snaps and then there’s no dispelling their disputes. James either takes a side or none at all (usually the later) and Sirius storms out of the flat to stay with Regulus. 

He should feel guilty for being such a burden to his younger brother. He should have more pride in himself than to allow Regulus to ever see him in such a depressed and unpleasant state. Lack of hygiene, self care and self maintenance manifests into something so repulsive and unsightly, Sirius would usually be back and making amends within a week or two – encouraged by his own lack of cleanliness and his commitment to run from the disease of laziness. 

But it’s been more than that now. Nearly a month, Regulus says. Time just passes by, slow and tolerant, so unlike him, and yet, Sirius still managed to lose complete track of it. This is the longest they’ve ever had a dispute without reconciling.  

His own stubbornness is definitely a factor. He had been right all along. If only they, mostly Remus, had listened to him. James was fully on board but Remus was stubbornly defiant and managed to convince the former otherwise. 

“Do you think she’s the type of person who would embrace such an unconventional relationship with open arms?!”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Moony,” Sirius grits his teeth, his inner thoughts and reasoning ached to be heard and let out coherently. In his mind, it all made sense to do things the way he suggests, so why couldn’t his boyfriend understand him?! It doesn’t even seem like he’s trying to listen to him at this point! “She won’t understand if we don’t say anything to her! We have to be forward and bold! Do it now before something happens!”

“Nothing. Is. Going. To. Happen!”

“How can you be so sure? We need to be honest with her, it’s not fair to her and it’s, frankly, deceitful to keep her in the dark about all this!”

“We can’t be too sure that she’ll accept us. If that happens then we’ll never see her again– I don’t want that, do you?!” 

“We won’t know unless we say something, do something, anything!”

“Please just trust me, Siri,” Remus begs, his loud voice lowering to a soft plea, his beautiful brown eyes no longer fierce or piercing but kind and warm again, with a hint of fear. Sirius can sympathise with that creeping terror, an anxiety that wants to swallow you whole and keep you in a dark abyss for eternity, “I don’t want to frighten her…”

The first time, Sirius gave in, weak for his love and weak for the reasoning behind his proposal on the matter concerning you. The dark-haired tattooist couldn’t fault his lover for that but, in hindsight, he should have argued his side more, maybe then, you wouldn’t have disappeared like that…

“Hey, your phone won’t stop pinging,” Regulus alerts, appearing out of thin air and surprising Sirius enough to sit up and alert with wide eyes, “will you finally read their messages to you?” with some reluctance, Sirius reaches for his phone and proceeds to look through his messages while Regulus takes a seat opposite him, a steaming cup of tea in hand.

The younger Black brother was just about to begin reading another one of his classic novel favourites when a rush of air flew by him, ruffling the small strands of hair and whipping about the billowing steam from his mug of tea. Moments later, the sound of his shower turning on full blast echos through his flat and a smile graces his lips. 

“It’s about time…”

Lingering guilt had plagued you all night long and you barely managed to get a wink of sleep. It, however, meant that you were able to better prepare lunch for the boys the following day. While cooking, you abandon all negative feelings to focus on only the good, not wanting any harmful emotions to diffuse into the food and saturate it with bad tastes. Your eyebags weren’t a pretty sight but it was easily fixable with a touch of makeup. 

You tried to look your best for the day. Fortunately, the early summer sun inspired your motivations further. Yes, you’ve made the terrible mistake of selfishly pushing them away to nurse your own battered soul and unrequited feelings, but this was your time to make amends, to make things right… to see Sirius again. 

You never felt right after you accused him of cheating on Remus and James with each other, only to find out that he was far more loving and loyal than that. You were embarrassed and ashamed to have ever thought so negatively about him, jumping to conclusions like an immature, thoughtless child. It was wonderful seeing James and Remus again, your heart was practically soaring in your chest as it disregarded all lingering feelings of misery and dejection. But now, your chest felt incredibly tight as your heart ached to catch a simple glimpse of Sirius.  

You carefully pack away the lovingly prepared food and desserts into your largest, most durable shopping bag before getting dressed. It was only natural that you managed to make more than you usually made for the boys, seeing as you wanted to spoil them rotten after being so childish the last few weeks. Since the weather was pleasant, you opted for a cute mini dress with a light, flowy material that was comfortable and soft. Over top, you wore a cropped cardigan that had long sleeves, enough to reach past your fingertips. For jewellery, you wore a simple necklace and slipped into a strappy pair of mid-heeled platforms that weren’t too tall. Casual but cute. 

Approaching the studio doors, your grip on the strap of your bag tightens and your breath hitches. They hadn’t taken the notice down and the bold, red letters of their ‘CLOSED’ sign glared at you angrily. 

Were they inside? Should you knock? Neither Remus or James actually agreed to your sudden choice to meet for lunch the night before. Did this mean that they didn’t want you to be in their lives anymore?... But… but you wanted to make things right! You wanted to apologise! You want to be friends with them again! You’ll tell them right away – tell them how you would do anything just to remain by their side, even if it’s just as a friend, you’ll be happy for them! You won’t be selfish anymore, you won’t covet anything more than friendship with them, that’s all you want! Not that they’ve ever heard of your true desires—

“Well?” A familiar voice speaks up behind you, putting an abrupt end to your panicked inner monologue, “Aren’t you going to knock?” 

Swiftly spinning in place, you smile brightly at the biker and tattooist standing before you, dressed in all black, with heavy, lace-up boots and his signature leather jacket, “Sirius!” 

He doesn’t breathe a word to you, eyeing your hefty bag before briefly meeting your eyes and making his way over. His long strides made it so that he reached you in no time but he didn’t stop. With a light gasp, he had backed you up into the left of their studio’s double-door front entrance. You held your breath and kept your eyes shut tight, not knowing what to do as your heart pounded deafeningly against your eardrums. 

A moment passes and you feel his hand brush against yours before your portly bag of packed food is taken from you. A wave of relief washed over your aching shoulder as the weight disappeared but such a diminutive alleviation of discomfort couldn’t swamp the trepidation in your heart. Sirius was different. 

“Siri–”

“Let’s head inside,” he had opened the right hand door and easily slipped through with your bag. Alone and in the quiet, you felt like crying. You wanted to cry, desperately but you knew that it would offer little to no reassurance. So, with a heavy heart, you followed Sirius inside and closed the studio door behind you. 

The air was stale but, in it, lingered a familiar scent that you had come to love, it was a clean, almost clinical smell from the regular use of disinfectant and bleach. You love this parlour so much, it was filled with so many good memories, ones of soft affection through tender words and gentle caresses. Despite the earlier interaction, you couldn’t help but smile just from the wave of romantic sentiment washing over you. 

“You’re here,” Remus greets with a tired smile as James sits on the opposite end of the sofa with a shy grin directed towards you, his hazel eyes looking elsewhere.

“Sorry if I’m late,” you managed a weak smile, “I didn’t know if the door was open or not. Thankfully, Sirius was there to help me in,” Sirius didn’t sit down despite the many available seating spaces and chose to lean his back against a far wall, instead. James couldn’t meet your eyes and Remus was sneakily massaging his temple as he leaned his face against his large hand, “let’s eat, shall we? I hope you guys are hungry,”  

It was never this awkward. Or quiet. Especially when sharing your homemade lunch together. James would usually be giving you endless praise through large, mid-chewed mouthfuls while Sirius laughed at the ridiculous sounds and faces he’d pull trying to speak coherently through the mouthful of food, and Remus would shake his head, his amusement by the display evident in the warm glimmer of his eyes. However, James doesn’t have as big of an appetite today and Sirius stands alone with his tupperware, barely touching his food. Remus is the only one eating a substantial amount besides you. Although, you’ve gradually slowed your own chewing. 

What have you done?... 

What happened to all of you?

Your shame brought your gaze down, making your head weigh heavier than usual as you give up on communicating anything with the boys. This wasn’t how it was meant to go…what should you do now? The pain in your heart was unbearable. 

Shoulders slumped and confidence dried up, you struggled to think of what to do. You should have prepared a speech or something. It was naive of you to think that simply coming over with a homemade lunch would fix anything. Things are never going to be the same, no matter how much you hope and pray for them to be. 

You’re hopeless… completely and utterly hopeless…

This was your worst fear come to life. You had feared rejection but seeing them unloving towards each other, barely communicating and broken apart, your stomach collapsed in on itself as your heart fell to a million pieces. You didn’t utter a single word of loving them romantically aloud and yet, you still managed to get in between their relationship. This was a sentiment of how selfish of a person you are. 

How could you do this to them?! They were your friends, who saved you from the worst night of your life, and you repay them like this?! Shameful. Disgusting. You don’t think you could ever look at yourself in the mirror again.  

The skirt of your mini dress blurs on your lap and you have to bite your lip to keep from sobbing out loud. The tears, however, you couldn’t stop them. Hopefully, they’re all too distracted to see you silently weeping and you can gather yourself before turning tail and running out of there. 

Today is a complete disaster—

“Don’t cry, angel, please!” James jumps up and rushes to your side, kneeling down at your feet as he takes your hands in his and tries to meet your gaze through the puddle of tears in your eyes. His words immediately catch Remus and Sirius’ attention and they both begin to make their way over, evident worry swimming in their eyes but you refuse to acknowledge any of that as your mind drowns in all manner of negative thought.  

You shake your head, hearing the flurry of footfalls around you and wishing them away silently, “I shouldn’t have come here today…” you whisper. 

“What was that?” James patiently asks, voice soft and sweet and kind, it makes you want to fall into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” you speak clearer and stand abruptly, “enjoy the lunch,” the haste and sorrow in your shaking voice makes their heart drop and they’re brought back to that fateful night once more. You don’t meet their eyes as you turn and push past them to leave, almost running through the hallway of their studio just to reach the door and make a quick escape. 

“THIS!” Sirius’ roaring voice suddenly cuts through the studio like a knife, making you stop in your tracks and turn around slowly. The door to the lounge room was still open, before it Sirius and Remus stood in an aggressive confrontation, both taking on a defensive stance as they faced each other, all while James remained in the background, clutching at his head as he slumped forward on the sofa, “THIS IS WHAT I MEANT! IF YOU HAD JUST LISTENED TO ME–” 

“I DIDN’T SAY WHAT I SAID WITHOUT REASON SIRIUS! YOU KNOW MY EXACT THOUGHTS ABOUT ALL THIS!” Remus shouts back, the veins in his neck bulging out from his fierce anger, the blood rushing in his cheeks making him look just about ready to violently explode. 

“BUT–”

“—YOU CAN’T FAULT ME FOR THAT!” Remus continues, not allowing Sirius to speak.   

“WELL YOU CAN’T FAULT ME FOR MY REASONING EITHER!”

You’re horrified at the scene. Sirius and Remus look ready to tear each other apart as James looks on hopelessly, not knowing what to do or how to diffuse the situation, completely torn between supporting one or the other. Without thinking, you rush back and skid to a stop between the two hot-blooded men. Their fuming rage was like a turbulent inferno whose flames licked viciously at your skin, ready to burn you and spread the hostility. 

“The both of you need to calm down!” you shout, pushing them away from each other and creating a safe distance between. Your tears had already run dry, replaced by the trembling terror shaking your limbs. 

“Don’t worry about us Dove,” Remus manages to voice through gritted teeth, his glowering eyes never leaving Sirius’, “you can leave and we’ll sort this out,”

“Sort this out like usual huh?—”

“—Don’t taunt me, Sirius,”

“That won’t solve anything, you idiot!” Sirius flings his arms up and James just barely manages to pull you away from being accidentally hit. Neither of the two seem to notice and James expresses his apology in lovingly nuzzling your temple, his lips puckering to kiss your skin but refraining and stepping away abruptly. You try not to feel the heartache his actions elicit in you.

“SHUT UP!” you’ve never heard Remus sound so angry and venomous before, it makes your heart stutter in fear and worry. You can’t leave now; this disagreement can’t end well without some form of intervention and James isn’t fairing too well with that – he needs someone there for him too, just to feel, somewhat, grounded through all of this, “She doesn’t have to hear all of this!”

“We wouldn’t have to be saying ‘all of this’ if you had. Just. LISTENED. TO. ME!”

“You’re being ridiculous!”

“Ridiculous?!” Sirius growls lowly, his countenance scrunching up into a foul expression —an antithesis to his elegant features, “I’ll show you!” it was then that Sirius turns to face you and approaches with purpose in his long strides, unstopping like he did earlier when outside the studio. 

“SIRIUS—!”

Sirius backs you up into the wall behind you, “—Everything Could Have Been As Easy As Doing This!” you didn’t know what to prepare yourself for but Sirius firmly gripping your chin and pulling you into a deep kiss was not one of them. In your shock, you let out a surprised but muffled moan, slowly falling into the blissful embrace and reciprocating eagerly. 

Did you faint earlier? Was this all a dream?... 

…Dream or not, you like this very much!  

James and Remus watch at the bold display, disbelief shining clear in their eyes as Sirius has his way with you. But you don’t see them, you don’t see anyone or anything, all you know is that Sirius kisses like an experienced lover from fantasy and he wasn’t shy about loving you up. Not knowing what to do with your hands, you let Sirius guide them over your head to cuff your wrists together with his large hand, his other snaking around your waist to pull you closer and deepen the kiss. 

He tastes like spearmint gum and smokey cigarette smoke, his lips tinted in cherry lip balm for sweetness. What an addictive taste. You can’t get enough. 

But air is a necessity and just as you were beginning to run out of breath, Sirius pulls away, panting heavily. He doesn’t wait for a single second to pass before diving his head into your neck, where he peppers feathery but fervid kisses along your sensitive skin and smiles to himself when you slip out a moan. You sound beautiful. He needs to hear more. Sirius doesn’t stop, he sucks and licks and kisses and nuzzles along your neck like the tease he is, drawing out every quivering whimper and pretty moan you were desperately trying to contain. 

You keep your eyes tightly shut, too embarrassed to meet the eyes of Remus or James. Their gaze on you left behind a searing, phantom mark that developed into a displeasing itch. An itch that could only be satisfied if they kissed you too.

…So selfish. God! When will you stop?!

Ashamed of your gradually increasing volume, you seal your mouth shut in a stubborn attempt to suppress your pleasure. How did his lips and tongue feel so good on your skin? His touch made your knees weak and your legs shake, without his support, you don’t think you would stay standing for long. 

Just as you were able to swallow every embarrassing sound that tried to escape, James was beside you, his warm breath on your cheek as he silently urged Sirius to give way, “you need help staying quiet, angel?” he whispers and doesn’t wait for an answer, briefly meeting your eyes before he’s closing them to kiss you sweetly. It started off sweet. Sweet and loving like James before suddenly becoming very dominating and overwhelming. You were being devoured and the thought was undeniably arousing. They were both on you, Sirius kissing away at your neck as James savoured the taste of your lips before bullying his way into your awaiting mouth. He swallowed your moans for you as Sirius defiantly persisted, urging you with seductive lips to make more.  

Overwhelmed but so content. 

You were drowning in bliss and you never wanted to break away from it. 

“DIDN’T I SAY!” Remus shouts, stopping all activity and leaving you strung up high as the boys slowly pull away, not too far but enough for all of you to meet Remus’ unreadable stare. The boys look over their shoulder to observe their commanding lover, their large frames tense before moving their eyes down and slowly smirking, the tension evaporating off their figures as you’re left to rebuild another tower of anxiety from your lower stomach, “Didn’t. I. Say. We. Were. Going. To. Savour. Her?”

What?

Your shocked, wide-eyed stare meets Remus’ cool and, almost, unfeeling gaze. Once again, your knees buckled under you and you were caught by Sirius and James. Held in place by their hot, firm hands and the press of their toned physiques. 

What did he just say?

Unable to keep his stare, your eyes slowly fall down the tall brunette’s figure. Capturing his beautiful, full lips; taking in the delicious column on his neck; observing the wide expanse of his shoulders and chest; drifting down to gulp at his veiny arms and hands before landing on... 

Oh~

A/N : no fluff, but something better right? a little sneak peak on how i write spicy things but it's readable hehe~  

NEXT. | 07 : APOLOGISE AND COMFORT →

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[ma1dita]

without a doubt

part one can be found here -> it will pass

words: little under 3k

summary: James has a lot of questions, but he quickly finds out Peanut is the answer.

warnings: none! angst–hurts before things get happy, peter (since some of yall might need a warning), all the marauders are alive and happy, lily is too smart for this, peanut and jelly 4 ever

a/n: thank you for all the love (and tears shed) for it will pass! i genuinely rewrote this about four different times and almost lost the plot, but please let me know if it meets your expectations!

(posted 9/11/23)

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 4

I know it will pass, it’s just heavy. You’re all I know.

There’s something about the noise in your brain as you move around your silent apartment. It overpowers the fear that hasn’t quite left your body after he let the front door fall shut. Being paralyzed in the aftermath of the truth that left your lips…It’s maddening. And you can’t even talk to the person you want to hear it most. You love him.

I do love you (Y/N), just in a different way.

Those 10 minutes were a fleeting moment in the life you’ve shared with your best friend thus far. But now, he’s stopped writing, stopped calling, and you’ve never heard him be so quiet in the past few days after the fact. There’s a knock at the door, and the sound interrupts the way you breathe, dishrag in hand, and James’ sweater still on your body.

I know that, James. I just don't know how to stop.

“What a vision you make, (Y/N).” Remus jokes in an attempt to try to make you smile. He’s leaning against the doorframe as you pop your head through the opening and he slowly moves to follow you into your home. Why does it feel like you have to explain yourself this time? But Remus is deeply understanding in nature, and he opens his arms for you to burrow yourself in.

“Get yourself fixed up. Not taking a no for an answer, love. You’ve been MIA for long enough and you know how Pads is about his birthday. He’ll want you there, broken heart be damned.” Remus is rubbing your back, and you groan.

“Ever the fucking diva.”

His chest rumbles with laughter, but both of you know that you say it lightly. Years ago, when Sirius moved into the Potter’s, it was understood that every birthday was to be as great as he was to his found family.

Nothing has to change, Peanut.

Remus sniffs you lightly, nose crinkling, “Place is spotless. Your turn for a deep clean and then off we go.” A horrified noise leaves your throat as you push yourself out of his embrace.

As the steam from the shower slowly suffocates you, you realize that Remus innately knew the reason for your emotional sabbatical from James and the rest of your friends. You wonder if everyone’s known that you’ve been in love with James Potter, and scrunch your face at how oblivious you both have been. The cold water washes away the grief that’s had a handle on your being this past month. Out of all the pranks they’ve played, this tops it. What a sick joke for the both of you to be left out of.

I think you should go now. Please.

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 3

All of Sirius’s birthdays are spectacular, but you really can’t fight the hurt crawling up your chest. There are too many memories here at Potter Manor, too many familiar faces asking where you’ve been, and James looks petrified, eyes following your figure around the Manor like you’re a ghost he can’t touch. You walk up the stairs like you have many times over the years, finding a hideaway in the west wing. You and James used to gaze at the stars here.

“So why the hell are you moping on my birthday? No one’s allowed to be sad today.” Sirius grins, breaking the silence as he walks across the balcony to throw his arms over your seated figure.

“Happy Birthday Padfoot.” you smile, leaning up to kiss his cheek. You clink your glass against his as he takes a seat next to you on the bench.

“Trust me when I say you always look stunning, (Y/N) but there’s this look in your eye that you get when you’re around Prongs nowadays. Might I say it’s why you dropped off the face of the Earth?”

Your face instantly drops at his words, and you’re glad he can’t see much in the dim light.

“How long have you all known, Pads?”

“I don’t know about much when it comes to love, (Y/N). But what I do know is that I’m his brother, and you’re his best friend. There’s a lot of responsibility being those two things for someone like that idiot. You love him like humans need air.”

“I just… I don’t know what to do with it.” The elderflower wine glides down your throat, its taste sweet on your tongue. Sirius sits with you, knowing what’s coming next. As an older brother, he also knows you’ve been waiting for someone to listen.

“What do I do with all the love I have for him? Where does it go now that he doesn’t want it?”

“I’ll take some. It sounds lovely.” Peter’s voice almost echoes in the silence as you both turn your heads to see him and Remus in the dim light of the hallway, a bottle of firewhiskey in hand and it makes you genuinely smile for the first time in days.

“Yeah, pass it around. Godric knows Prongs doesn’t appreciate you enough.” Remus says bluntly, and you hit his stomach when he ruffles your hair.

“Honestly, what a prat! Makes you plan his proposal and doesn’t want you at the afterparty? The nerve.” You choke on the remnants of your wine as you laugh at Sirius’s outrage for you, and all four of you are giggling in the dark like idiots as Remus pours you shots. If anything else goes wrong in this life, you’re glad that you have the Marauders to live it with you.

The laughter reaches the hallway, and in walks Lily, who teasingly asks “Did the party move in here without us?” James is as still as a statue behind her, watching you laugh with his boys. He can’t remember the last time he’s seen you happy and acknowledges that he’s to blame.

“You shouldn’t be surprised, Lils. There’s always a party when Padfoot’s around,” you remark, and everyone gets up to go back to the party. Lily looks around as if she’s missing something, then looks at James.

“I’m glad that (Y/N)’s back from whatever’s been keeping her busy. Looks like everything’s falling back into place.” she muses, and James can’t help but watch his best friend, no, his best girl, walk away, thinking that everything must be falling apart.

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 2

It’s morning now, and a lot of the crowd has gone home or fallen asleep in the many rooms of Potter Manor. You decide to stay to help clean up for Mr. and Mrs. Potter, who were always like second parents to you as well. They had a thing for taking in kids who needed love. With your best efforts, you can’t seem to escape James, who has incessantly trailed behind you into every room you walk into. You dodge him again as you walk down the hall, but James, who has always been a chaser in more ways than one grabs you by the arm and pushes you into his childhood bedroom.

A shriek leaves you as he closes the door and has you up against the wall.

“What the fu—”

“You’re avoiding me. Why are you avoiding me?” his face is panicked as his breath hits your face.

“You told me to leave you alone. That’s what I’m doing now, James. What else could you want from me?” Your hands are on his chest, crinkling the dress shirt that you once helped him pick out at the shops, and you feel breathless, angry at knowing him too well, and angry at what he’s insinuating.

James is at a loss. He loves you. He’s never gone more than a weekend without you and now it’s been ages…. And he loves you. He’s looking at you differently now, in the sunlight that floods through his old bedroom. He loves you so much that it hurts.

His hands slide from the wall behind you, until they reach your shoulders, and trace down your arms. Intertwining your fingers together, James speaks.

“I didn’t mean…” he exhales. “I just…”

“Did you not want me here too? Because unfortunately, my friends are also yours, so maybe we can clarify exactly the terms you want me to follow next time, James.” you seethe, getting in his face.

You push him away, his arms chasing after you, pining for your touch. Your heart is racing with hurt, with anger, with love, all for the man standing across the room.

“Peanut…”

“No.”

“I never want you to leave me alone, okay? It’s been agony without you and I can’t even put into words how—”

“I can, James. How long have I been so oblivious to the fact that I’m in love with you and how long have you just let it happen? You can’t just… please don’t pretend that you don’t know that I’ve been waiting all my life for you to let me fill the empty spaces in your heart.” Your voice wavers as you pull yourself away from him, sitting on his bed.

“Just tell me what’s happening, Peanut. You’ve always had the answers. I feel like I can’t breathe when you’re not there and I….. my heart feels like it’s going to combust… I… I just feel…. so intensely. I miss who I am when I’m with you.”

James throws himself down onto the bed, hyperventilating with his head in his hands. Your hands are shaking as you reach for him. You’ll always reach for him.

He raises his head, as you delicately grab his face into your hands. Your fingertips brush his tears away, loving him for the mess he is.

“My life has been so quiet these past few days and I’m so scared to live life without you. Did I fuck it all up for us?” You whisper.

James licks his lips, and he’s playing with your hair in his hands. Your knees are touching on the patterned bedspread. The space between you diminishes as you realize that he’s about to ruin everything.

Your best friend is going to kiss you.

He’s holding your jaw so gently and for a second, you wonder if this is what it would feel like to be loved by him in the way that you do. With every single ounce of control, you turn your head away from what you’ve been craving most. James’ lips land on your cheek, and he’s chasing after you again, muttering apologies as he looks into your eyes and sees everything he’s been wanting. He sees his whole life with you through the split second your eyes connect. Pushing him away again, you stumble away with a sob.

“What was that?”

“I just… “ He’s gasping for air, feeling like his heart has exploded, and the silence is so loud that he feels like his heart must be in pieces, and you’re picking up the wreckage to take home. He’s in love with you. His heart has always been yours.

“You what, James? Don’t do that!”

He’s lived in a mansion his whole life but Godric, is this room suddenly feeling too small? You get on your feet, stepping away from him and he’s following you.

“Do what?”

“Don’t make me hate you, Jelly. Loving you has been painful enough.” Tears are blurring your vision as you hiccup, and maybe it’s better to not see him right now. Maybe you really shouldn’t have come.

“I just wanted to know. I know now, love, I…” James whimpers at the sound of his nickname. Your nickname for him alone has this man wanting to drop to his knees.

“No. Don’t you know how cruel you’re being right now? To me? To the love of your life? I would never do that to Lily!” Your voice is getting louder by the minute, and James is stoic in his silence, steps away from your blaze.

“But you told me you’re in love with me. Are you saying this is because of me?”

“Everything I do is because of you, James. And if you don’t know that by now…” Then maybe you don’t know me at all.

The words go unsaid but the both of you are hit with the reality of it. Your hands jangle the doorknob to get away from him, to be anywhere but here.

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 1

Lily listens intently as James tells her everything he's been wanting to say for the last eleven years. She's not surprised, in fact, she knows this is the truth, but she's still heartbroken. Lily Evans and James Potter are both people who like to chase things, people—but after all that’s said and done, the thrill wears off. They’re more alike than they’ll ever know.

He tries to apologize, but Lily cuts him off and tells him there's no need. She's always known the truth, and even though it took him this long, she's glad he finally figured it out. Smartest girl of their year, after all.

“I mean, I always felt like she should’ve been dating you, but then we happened and I fell too hard and didn’t stop to ask questions. I tried to be blind to it, but…it was nice, wasn’t it?” Lily whispers, holding James’ hand for the last time. He looks like he’s about to pass out.

“I’ll be okay, Potter. I was before you, and I will be after you. So thank you for being honest. You’ve always been honest with me.” A small kiss on his cheek renders him breathless. Once upon a time, he would stay up all night at the idea of Lily Evans loving him. But his heart has always belonged to you. Without a doubt, James Potter is in love with you, his best friend.

He doesn’t tell Lily he was planning to propose tomorrow, since the situation is already as messy as it is. But Lily Evans always knows.

—

JAMES HAS A PROPOSAL

James is pushing boxes back into Potter Manor, and Mippy helps flit the rest of his belongings up the stairs with magic. The least he could do is give Lily their apartment after their breakup. He looks around, rubbing his fingers of dust as his mother calls him for dinner. How humbling, he thinks, to start all over because he was too stupid to realize he’s in love. Starting over in a place he calls home is absurd. He looks out towards the courtyard where you had your fairytale wedding, walks by the hallways you used to race training broomsticks in, and back to his room where he used to whisper hushed lullabies to help you sleep. Everything reminds him of you, and your love consumes each memory that flickers through his vision. The feeling shocks him like ripping your head out of a pensieve. He’s so utterly in love with you.

What the hell is he doing at his parents’ house? He should be getting his girl! James apparates to your apartment, knocking on the door like a madman. He knocks so loudly the wood is bruising his knuckles, red blooming under his touch.

The door rips open, and he’s never been so glad to see you angry.

“You literally have a key, James. You don’t have to be a dick every—”

“You’re wrong.”

Your frustration gives way, lines on your forehead wrinkling in confusion. It’s like there’s a glass separating the both of you, and you’re scared to touch him.

You shake your head as he continues, “You’re wrong, by the way. I don’t know if Lily’s the love of my life. I haven’t lived it with her, nor will I. What I do know is that I’ve loved you for most of mine.”

“What are you saying, Jelly,” you utter, and James’ is grinning so largely you want to punch his face in.

“I love you. As in I’m in love with you. Without any doubt, or excuses, or anyone holding me back, my heart is yours, if you’ll have me?”

He rushes to catch you, his proposal hitting you hard as you fall into his embrace, hands feeling as much of him as you can. His broad shoulders, his strong neck, the dimples on his cheek, the glasses on his face—all of him is in love with you.

Your blubbering is muffled as he finally pulls his lips to yours, finally feeling, finally… James’ kiss lays out all of what he’s been holding in, and without words you both understand that this wreckage in your beating hearts, the destruction of everything you’ve set together as best friends, is love. He’s clutching you to his body, moving you backward into your apartment, feet moving in sync like an orchestrated dance. You both fall onto your couch in a fit of laughter and tears. Finally.

“How foolish of me to be with another, Peanut. I’m a married man, after all.”

"Not bad for a second kiss, Jelly." You laugh at him.

James looks at your smile like it’s the answer to every question he’ll ask in this life.

—

“We give those we love nicknames, because love requires a word that belongs to us alone.” Fredrik Backman

tagged: @prongs-moon @alltheotherkidss @anehkael @princessprongs

[sunshinemayhem]

second chances - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 807

“Sirius, can we talk?” Remus makes an aborted motion at Sirius’s retreating back. James and Peter have already left, and transfiguration doesn't start for another thirty minutes. It’s the best time to have this conversation.

Sirius pauses, then raises an eyebrow, leaning against the door. His face is unreadable.

Remus nods. He’s grateful, at least, that Sirius hasn’t ignored him. “I’m sorry,” he says, unconsciously twisting the hem of his shirt.

Silence.

Remus takes a deep breath. This is harder than expected, but he promised himself he’d stop running away. He looks up, meeting Sirius’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, “I screwed up. I didn’t think of how I was hurting you. I.. I was afraid. I was so afraid of losing you –of losing what we had– that I chose to break my own heart before you could do it.” In the back of his head, he questions the Sorting Hat’s sanity for the millionth time.

Remus continues, “It’s not an excuse. I really am sorry.” He swallows. “I’m also sorry that I’m here now, putting you in this position, wanting to make up after I recklessly tore us apart.” He laughs, an ugly thing. “Merlin, I’m a selfish bastard, aren’t I? I’m sorry.” He’s long given up on eye contact. Remus stares at the ground, refusing to blink. He takes a deep breath.

“I.. I think I’m in love with you.” Remus thinks he hears a hitch in Sirius’s throat, but he can’t be sure. The next part is difficult, but it needs to be said. He owes it to the years of friendship between them.

His words come out faster. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I get it. Really, I do. I’m a pessimist, I’m flawed, I get in my own head. I’m trying, but I’m not perfect. And- And if you’d rather stay friends, I’ll be okay. Well, not okay but I’ll be fine-” Now it was Remus’s breath hitching. He blinks, then ducks his head, swiping his arm against his eyes. He’s humiliated himself enough.

There’s silence again, but Remus has finished his daily quota of courage. “I guess that’s all I had to say.” he shuffles his feet, lifts his head, looking anywhere but Sirius. He laughs once, bitter. “You know, I’d really appreciate a response.”

It’s quiet. Remus swallows. “I guess silence is an answer.” He screws his face up, willing himself not to cry. He really had fucked up, hadn’t he? He wonders if he’ll be okay.

“You-” He stops. He wants Sirius to leave. He starts again, “You’ll have to give me some time to deal with it, you understa-” Warm hands cup his face, and his words get stuck in his throat. They gently guide him to look forward, and Remus’s eyes widen as he realizes that Sirius –Sirius, who’d rather be humiliated publicly by Snape than cry– has puffy, red eyes. He still looks gorgeous, the git.

“Don’t cry, Moony.” he croaks, voice cracking after being silent for so long. Remus feels him gently cup his cheek, wiping away tears. Oh. He hadn’t realized that he was crying. He guesses willpower can only do so much. He feels exhausted, suddenly. 

Sirius is still talking, words tumbling over each other, frenetic. “You shouldn’t ever be sad. Never, never, never–” he cuts himself off. “You deserve to be happy. Always.”

Remus looks away, his face still being held hostage by the tenderness in Sirius’s movements. He can’t be comforted. What Sirius isn’t saying cuts like a sharp edge. He can feel acid at the back of his throat, and curses himself for expecting a different answer.

“Look at me,” Sirius says, his voice gentle. It rarely is, and Remus can’t fight it.

“I think I’m in love with you too.” Remus is caught off guard. There’s no way to misinterpret that. The voices in his head can’t contest it. 

“Don’t ever say that you’re not enough.” His voice is steady now. “I’m definitely more flawed than you are. I’m cruel, I’m superficial, I have too many trust issues.” Remus’s eyebrows draw together. He doesn’t agree, but his mouth has decided that that’s enough words for today. Sirius understands, like always. They’d always been like that, having conversations with glances, not needing words. In hindsight, that had become a bad thing when they’d stopped communicating. 

“Shh, let me finish. I’m sorry too. I didn’t know you were feeling like this. I noticed that you were acting differently, but I was too afraid that you were having second thoughts about me. I wanted to pretend everything was alright so that it didn’t end. ” Remus, again, wants to interrupt, but he’s stopped by Sirius’s earnest stare.

Sirius leans in. “I’m selfish too,” he whispers, “how about we try again?”

And just like that, Remus dares to hope.

[futurecorps3]

Sirius black with a busty reader

𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Masterlist<3

MINORS STAY AWAY I'LL BLOCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, THIS IS +18!!! See also… All marauders versions in my marauders masterlist<3

I want you all to picture me giggling and kicking my feet while writing this 'cause this is my main hoe 🤭💗

-BUYS. YOU. NECKLACES.

-I'll die on this hill dear god

-Pretty silver chains, golden necklaces with expensive charms, you name it! HE SPOILS YOU SM BECAUSE THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE ASF TOO?????

-Yk that good house of Black money n shit hehe

-Loves seeing how it sometimes gets in the middle of your tits and pulls it out himself, definitely touching you more than necessary

-"Wait, I'm almost there doll" "Do you need to bury your face in my boobs to get that crow charm out?” you deadpan with a smile, looking down at the pretty boy, feeling his nose dig in like he’s on a treasure hunt

-“Helps my visibility” yeah visibility my ass he loves your pretty tits

-He’s the “Wear what you want, I can fight” type of guy <3 (all of them are!!!)

-Will and has gotten into fights if someone’s staring and making you uncomfortable. No one disrespects his girl like that:)

-L E A T H E R T O P S

-You both wear leather tops that show your belly and chests, matching ones ofc!!!

-Remus loves sweaters, James loves crop tops

-Sirius lives for seeing you in lacy bras AND his leather jacket:(

-Boy gets heart eyes, jaw to the floor, drooling, screaming (ofc the boys mock him for it<3)

-“You’ll catch flies with that mouth, Pads” Remus smirks, watching Sirius watch you having a conversation with some Ravenclaw girl as you pour more fire whiskey on your glass “Shut it Moons” he replies, dreamy voice too entranced to even comprehend the chaos the party around him was causing

-Speaking of parties, he loves doing vodka shots from your boobs.

-Ogles them sm and compliments them all the fucking time!!!!!

-He’s shameless about it as well

-"Your tits look amazing" with a lovesick expression on his face like he genuinely loves them so so so much

-He knows his friends stare and he doesn’t mind as long as you don’t either. Boosts his ego quite a lot tbh!!

-If you feel uncomfortable, he’ll definitely do something about it! The boys would never make you uneasy, of course. They look away to be respectful, but those small glances have Sirius all cocky

-Having said THAT…

-Marks u up <3

-I’m talking love bites, scratches, hickeys

-Makes sure to make them on a regular basis so they don’t fade out with time

-Yes the boys have walked in on him marking you many times

-“Fucking hell Padfoot just lock the bloody door” James groans while covering his eyes since he knew damn well his best friend wasn’t stopping. “Hey Prongs” you giggle “Hi darling” he says, still not looking at you guys

-“Could you tell your pig boyfriend to lock the door next time?” “ITS AN ART YOU WOULDNT GET IT!!!” he yells, but the sound comes out muffled and barely understandable. “We’ll try” you muse, giggling slightly as the other boy left the room

-Won’t do any of these if he knows it bothers you!! Respectful legend <3

-So, summing it up

-He absolutely adores your boobs, is very much shameless about it and will not tolerate bullshit from anyone <3

[silencesscreams]

love is never logical

james potter x reader (angst)

summary: you had been james’ girlfriend for more than a year, his close relationship with his friend lily has always bothered you, specially because he would always pick her instead of you. once you find out they almost dated when they were younger, things change.

100% inspired by logical - olivia rodrigo, the beginning of the fight was inspired by the all too well short film (it was also lari’s idea because she’s a genius)

warnings: muggle au, drinking, swearing, jealousy, breaking up, fighting, shouting, mentions of younger jily, petnames (babe, love, darling), use of y/n once, mention of sex, kind of short, sad ending

special thanks to @mrsaluado for helping me and giving me ideas for this one!!!!! you’re incredible, lari!!!!

when you first started dating james, the first friend he introduced you to was lily. he said she was one of his best friends and that she was incredibly important for him. it was almost as if he said: don’t fuck it up with her. afterwards, he said she absolutely loved you, it made you feel great about yourself, but a part of you wondered what would happen if she didn’t.

there were times when you’d ask if he wanted to hang out or do something different during the weekend. most times you were too late, he was already doing something with lily, but you could come if you wanted to. you always did. you wanted to be with your boyfriend, it shouldn’t matter that his girl best friend was always around, right?

you even asked him once or twice if he ever had anything with lily, which he defensively denied every single time. most of your friends saw it as a red flag, but what could you do? you had never loved anyone like you loved james potter.

until it all fell apart.

you both had been together for a year. you were always invited to his reunions with his friends, so when he told you he was hosting a small one at his place, you were excited to go. you helped him get the house ready. you even bought appetizers.

so when his friends showed up, you tried talking to most of them, but when you got to sirius, you both ended up talking a lot.

you both had been chatting for about half an hour when he asked:

“where’s that boyfriend of yours anyway?” he took a sip from the cheap wine remus had brought.

“with lily, i think.” you say, looking down at your cup.

“really? doesn’t it bother you?” he asked innocently, like you already knew.

“no, i mean, why would it?”

“well, i’d be stressed knowing remus was so close with someone he almost dated like two years back” he casually stated. your heart could’ve just fallen to your feet then, he never told you that. sirius quickly realized he’d fucked up because of how quiet you got. “you didn’t know?” he questioned, his brows furrowed and his voice more caring now.

“oh, i did, don’t worry.” you lied, your voice quiet.

god, you felt so stupid. you had asked so many times, and he lied, he always said no.

you never thought james could hurt you like that, until he did.

“that reminds me, i have to talk to james about what time we’re putting out the dessert. i’ll be back soon.” you didn’t have to talk to him about anything. you knew that you’d bring out the dessert at 10:30. you just wanted to know what they were talking about.

“hi, babe.” he greeted you, pressing a kiss on your cheek as you sat next to him. “my two girls at the same table, how lucky am i?” he joked, but you didn’t laugh. since when was lily his girl? “sorry, that was badly phrased.” he apologized to you, chuckling and going back to lily, not bothering to insert you in the conversation.

you didn’t really mind staying quiet, he usually did that. they talked for about 10 minutes, during that time stayed quiet and didn’t even touch him, you listened to their conversation, smiling every single time she looked at you.

the night ended for you when he didn’t hold your hand. as he excitedly laughed and talked to her. you tried to interlace his fingers with yours, which he did, giving your hand a quick squeeze before letting go of it and laying it carelessly on the table.

you take a deep breath.

you count to ten.

you hold back your tears.

he had never denied your touch before. ever.

“excuse me,” you said lowly. “i’m gonna go freshen up.” you fake a smile, going as quickly as possible to the bathroom. you shut the door behind you and lock it, giving the key two turns.

you can’t believe him. he couldn’t possibly be doing this to you.

you had known ever since he introduced you to her that if he had to choose it’d be her. you knew that deep down, you just didn’t believe it.

you couldn’t believe he lied like that.

he made you believe it was in your head. everything he ever said just always sounded right. how could he do that?

you weren’t going to fight. not in the middle of a party.

you look at yourself in the mirror,

inhale, exhale.

inhale, exhale.

it was fine. you’d talk to him about it later. it was probably a misunderstanding, right? you probably heard him wrong, right?

still, you took it in and kept quiet until everybody left.

james had obviously realized how mad you were when you dodged his hug in the kitchen.

“what’s wrong?” he asked, looking all sad and lonely like a wet dog. like it was your fault.

“you dropped my hand, you know that, right?” you stop and look at him, your hands hugging your own torso nervously.

“what? when?”

“when you were talking to lily.” you say, looking down.

“sorry, i don’t really remember.” he casually brushes it off. he did remember.

“did you and her ever have a thing? tell me the truth, did you ever like her romantically or anything like that?”

“god, no! why are you bringing this up again? i’ve told you before, she’s just my friend, why are you-”

“you’re lying to me.” you cut him off, staring at him.

“no, i’m not. what’s gotten into you?” he squints his eyes at you.

“why are you lying? i know you both had a thing a year before we started dating!” you didn’t want to speak loudly, but you couldn’t not raise your voice at him.

“who told you that?” he questioned quietly.

“it doesn’t matter! why did you lie to me about this?” he didn’t answer. “god, i’m so fucking stupid!” you exclaim, laughing at yourself.

“darling, stop. it’s not like that.”

“i should’ve known something was happening. you spent more time with her than with me ever since i became your girlfriend.”

“I’m not cheating on you, you have to believe me” he tried holding your face in his hands. his touch was inviting, but you pulled away.

“but you love her, don’t you?” he doesn’t answer. “how can i possibly believe you?” you ask, your eyes tearing up. you were trying to hold back the tears, but they were just begging to come out.

“i don’t know. i just need you to trust me, love. please.”

“i don’t know if i can.” you turn around, facing the refrigerator door. you rub your eyes, stressed.

“hey, james.” you call, not turning around to face him.

“yeah?” he answers, staring at your back, a confused look on his face.

“what color are lily’s eyes?” he wanted to bury himself in a hole and never come out. he knew what you were doing and he knew he’d fail.

“i don’t see how that-”

“james, what color are they?”

“green.” he replies, his voice low.

“what color are my eyes?” no answer. you can feel your stomach twist and turn. “james, what color are my eyes?” your voice was louder now.

“i don’t know.” he whispers. you started crying, and he never hated himself so much. you turn around to face him, your head moving in a ‘no’ motion as he tried hugging you. “darling, please. you’re the love of my life, stop it.”

“sure, and you’ve only ever seen her as a friend, right?!” you push him away. “i’m the love of your life and you can’t even tell me my eye color! that’s not fucking right, isn’t it?!”

“you know how much i love you!” he shouts, desperately trying to fix it.

“do i? because you never even say it anymore! hell, you don’t even hold my hand!” you shout back at him. he can’t answer you, he doesn’t know how to. he doesn’t know what to do anymore. “i’m going home.” you announce, grabbing your purse from the kitchen table and heading to his front door.

you didn’t want to leave, but you knew that if you stayed he’d probably find a way to make you believe him. he’d hug you. he’d say he was sorry and that everything would turn out okay.

that wasn’t what you wanted to hear that night, you weren’t really sure of what it was you wanted from him in that moment, but some stupid apology and sex wasn’t going to help.

“i have been your boyfriend for the past year! I haven’t been lily’s!” he exclaimed, following you. you ignored him, cleaning your tears from off your face

“you’re not being fucking logical about this, y/n!” he screamed at you, his voice strained as you open the door to his apartment.

“i guess love isn’t logical, is it?” you say, shutting the door harshly as you head out.

you stop in front of the door, waiting to see if he’d open it and try going after you. if he’d try to make you forgive him.

you waited for 15 minutes.

he didn’t do anything at all.

[wingedhallows]

murder on our minds; wolfstar

pairing: wolfstar x reader | 0.8k wordsplot: someone hurt one of your boyfriends and you're determined to get revenge for him but what are two boyfriends good for other than doing the dirty deeds for you? prompt: "no one hurts you and lives, baby." authors note: i have a thing for agressive female characters

navigation

The halls were empty, the other students had already made their way to their common rooms. You, of course just had to spend your afternoon in Minnie’s detention for beating up Mulciber three days ago.

He had talked ill of Remus and Sirius, they had tried to talk you out of it, of course. But, in all honesty, no one got away when spewing shit about your boyfriends.

You pushed past the Fat Lady with a small smile, she knew you. You’d been with the two since fourth year and in their common room almost every day. The only snake allowed in, she had said.

The room was dimly lit and quiet. All you could hear were some muffled voices and some sniffling.

Had Lily rejected James once again? You thought with a small smirk on your face as you pushed your hand through your hair.

“What’s going on-” You chuckled before your face fell, eyebrows furrowed. There sat James, Lily, Peter and Sirius huddled around a bleeding Remus. Your heart jumped, pulse speeding up.

“Y/N, love.” Sirius spoke as he caught sight of you.

Lily lifted herself from the floor and tried to stop you, to not get a good look, knowing how angry and violent you can be. You pushed past her and quickly embraced your bleeding boyfriend's face in your hands.

His nose sat crooked and bloody in the middle of his face, his eyebrow scraped and his chin also bloody and already bruising.

“Love.” Remus tried, the blood running again as he lifted the towel off his nose. You thumb stroked his cheek as your lips tightened in a frown. “It’s not so bad-”Who?” Your voice escaped you almost in a whisper.

“Y/N.” James tried, a hand on your shoulder, you shrugged him off though.

“Look, you just came back from detention, it doesn’t hurt so much, really.” He tried, his face twisted in a painful scowl.

“That’s not what I asked, is it?” You lifted his face and gave him a determined look, eyes dark.

“No one hurts you and lives, baby.” 

You said, calmly, too calmly for their liking.

Lily sighed and James threw Sirius a look. 

She’s gonna murder someone, mate. 

His eyes seemed to say. Peter raised from his chair and took a step closer to you. “Who?” You asked again, Remus tried to avoid your eyes. “Snape.” Peter spoke. “Peter!” “Fuck.!” 

“Alright.” You said before turning around, determined to hurt Snivellus just the same as he had Remus.

“You should’ve kept your mouth shut!” Sirius yelled as he came after you.

“You’re a total tosspot, Peter.” Lily said and you were out of earshot.

“Baby!” Sirius tried, but you were so fast. With fast steps he caught up, chest rising in exhaustion. Your eyes briefly found his and with balled fists you stopped.

“Baby, come on.” His hands found your arms and you avoided his gaze, you’d falter. He’ll try to talk you out of it, to not have you beat the absolute shit out of Severus Snape.

“He’s not worth it.” He tried, eyes knitted together as his hands found your hips. He had a grip on you now, how would you get away? How would you get away from the sweetest, most beautiful man on this planet to avenge your other utterly beautiful boyfriend? 

Cauldron, you’re in deep. You thought.

“He hurt Remus, Sirius.” Your hands tried to push away but he held on good, almost too good. “I know and I want nothing more for you than to punch him in the nose as well but you just got out of detention. You ain’t got many more chances, love.”

Your hand found his neck and you batted your lashes, you had to get revenge one way or another. “I got another one.” You whispered before your mouth connected with his, tongue fighting for dominance as his hands sneaked around your neck as well.

He moaned, his hips bucked into yours, desperate for pleasure, for you. 

“Baby..” he whispered, tongue on your neck. “You do it then.” You tried, he stilled. His wide eyes found yours, hand still stuck around your neck. Your eyes darkened, your lips just above his.

“Punch him good, just once.” His eyebrows furrowed and his hand slipped from your neck. “For Remus.” You whispered, suddenly the corridor seemed colder, more public than it did a second ago, when you two were making out like high schoolers.

His glazed, hazy eyes found yours, the arrousal present in the way he looked at you.

“Alright.” He agreed, his chest heaving out of breath.

“Oh, how much I love you, Sirius Black.” Your palm wandered down his chest all the way to his clothed erection. A breathless moan shot into your neck as a grin formed on your flushed face.

“Such a good boy.” A breathless laugh fell from his plum lips and you had to chuckle yourself.

“You pretty pretty Minx.” He spoke just to steal another deep kiss from you. You placed a hand on shoulder and pushed him forward. Your palm connected with his ass.

“Then go on, show me how good you can be.” He barked a laugh and took your hand in his.

“I'll be the goodest.” He smiled at you and you did the same.

[delirium1217]

crystal clear

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

“It’s just… not my type of scene, that’s all,”

“Your brother’s engagement party is not your type of scene?”

“Is that really surprising?”

“I guess not,”

The conversation fizzled out, as if it had any fighting chance anyway. Regulus kept staring at tiny details to keep himself steady. The lines in the brick wall in front of him. The way the wind blew away his cigarette smoke.

It’d been too overwhelming inside, filled to the brim with people he hadn’t seen in years. Hungry eyes filled with questions and inquisitions. The shimmering hue that came over everything. Like he’d wound up in an overexposed photo, flaring white and red and orange all over the dance floor.

“Look,” James started back up again. He didn’t even have the excuse of smoking to keep talking to him, “I know things have been - awkward between you and well, everyone, since uhm, uh, it all. And I don’t know if you’re here to reconnec-”

“I’m not here to make amends, James,”

That seemed to catch him off guard. Regulus wondered if James wasn’t used to him being this blunt. Ah, well. Too many things have changed for this not to change too.

He took a deep breath, “That’s fine. I just wanted to say, we all appreciate you being here,” he paused for a second. “Sirius. Even though he has odd ways of showing it, he’s glad you’re here. Remus, too, his whole ‘don’t ruin his day’ speech is just nervous jitters,” his hands were flailing along his words, like he was trying to mime them out.

Regulus looked down at the floor, fragments of silver confetti were taking the shape of real constellations over his shoes. Clever little bit of magic.

He didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t blame them for how they acted. Sirius - initial anger followed by weird sentimentality. Remus, all confrontation and ragged edges. He knew what they all went through. He knew all the betrayal that had left them this fragile.

He wasn’t here to ‘reconnect’. If he was, he’d be doing a piss-poor job at it. Was that something he wanted? He didn’t even consider it. Reconnect, and what then?

“It’s just – did you really have to crash in at 10 am after three years of refusing contact?”

It wasn’t an unfair question. Still, it prodded at something in his chest. Something that pulsated and smouldered. He instantly felt the urge to seize up, and push away. It disturbed him how easy it was crawling back into his old skin. The viscera automatically reworking itself into the shape it had once been.

This, he told himself, this is why he left. This place dragged the worst out of him.

If James was expecting an answer, he didn’t show it, leaning back on the brick wall beside him. As if the question was a mere suggestion, something to consider. He’d think it patronizing if it were anyone else.

He looked over at him. White shirt crumpled, sleeves pushed up, tie dishevelled and wonky. The hazy sheen the evening held seemed to swell as he looked at James. As if the stars had fallen and framed his face in their wake.

It was still there, he slowly realized. The tug of want. He felt his hands ache. The incessant urge to touch and feel. He’d tried so badly to bury it. It was still there, sticking its ugly head out of the sand.

Stilltherestilltherestillthere.

An awkward blob of emotion and pheromones and terrible circumstances. He couldn’t look anymore.

“I-” he heard himself start, as if he had no control over his own tongue.

“I’m not supposed to be here. The letter with the portkey was on my dresser. And I couldn’t-“He took a deep sigh, eyes flickering across the floor, “I couldn’t bear to fail him today too,”

The words hung between them. James didn’t react, only nodding slightly. He got the impression he was being treated like a skittish animal. Maybe he was.

“I get that,”

He turned his head towards him, eyebrow raised. “No you don’t,”

“Okay, maybe I don’t,”

A smile tugged on Regulus’ lips. James hadn’t changed a bit. Ever the empathetic, even when it made zero sense.

“Hey, I got you to drop the frown!”

He instantly went back to frowning again. This promptly led to James laughing, in a way that sent Regulus careening years back.

“Thank Merlin I haven’t lost the ability to do that,” James went on.

Snapshots flickered through his head. Himself, a miserable little thing, observing from across hallways and classrooms and Quidditch fields. He wanted to hate him so badly, the boy who’d stolen his brother. He never stood a chance.

The end was there as well. That year was nothing but an open wound in his mind, a festering, rotting tunnel of memories he tip-toed around. But James was there. The only person who could get anything resembling a smile out of him. The stars above the astronomy tower, brighter and brighter as winter turned into summer. Prefect rounds and silly little bickering. They were the only things he’d allowed himself to revisit.

There were so many things left unsaid. So many things Regulus abandoned when he took the Mark. That last night – the one where he pushed James away flashed across his mind. He’d taken whatever fragile relationship they’d had, and he smashed it to the ground.

They hung between them, too.

“I, uhm. I think I owe you an apology,”

James looked at him. Wide dark eyes that he knew shone startling hazel under the sunlight. It was unfair, this effect he still had on him. Turning Regulus into something soft and fragile and vulnerable, even after all this time. He thought he’d left it all behind.

“Yeah?”

“The way I left things, it wasn’t right. I don’t want it stand between us,”

“I thought you weren’t here to make amends?” The wink that followed made Regulus’ heart perform a disgustingly loud percussion routine.

“Yeah well. Some things you just can’t avoid,”

“Ah. And I’m one of those things?”

Yes. All the miles I put between us were useless. Yes. I can’t help but want to crash into you.

“No. I just can’t go back and have another thing I fucked up haunting me,”

James was suddenly somber again, as if he just remembered the grim details of everything that went down.

“Alright, that’s fair. Well, no need to apologize, after all that you did,”

This was wrong. Something was off. He was lying, all this faux tranquility was for show.

He didn’t care how long it’d been since he last saw him, James had never not demanded more. More explanation. More words and whys and hows. It was one of the reasons he’d left things so untouched in his sixth year. James Potter would’ve tore down his defenses one by one, till he had none left.

He narrowed his eyes at him. It'd gotten cold outside, or maybe the alcohol warming him had dissipated. The noise from the party inside winding down. The cigarette butts littering the coarse ground.

It was tremendously uncomfortable, yet James had stayed for about twenty minutes, while Regulus smoked, talked and…for what?

“What is this really about, James? Why are you out here?”

“I- you just looked so upset and-“

“Plenty of depressed people at a wedding,”

“Engagement,” James corrected

“Whatever, same difference,”

“It very much is not when I’m the one who planned it all,”

“You planned all of this?”

“Uh, yeah. Why did you think I froze when you showed up? Estranged younger siblings really do throw a wrench into whatever party you have planned, y’know,”

He did not think about why James froze up, because he was too busy staring at Sirius, who looked like he could kill him, “I could imagine,”

The thought of James frantically planning an engagement party was a bit absurd, like something from those muggle comedies his roommates liked to watch. Despite the mood he’d developed, the urge to laugh filled his chest. The mental image of James, his hair more of a bird’s nest than usual, turning red over the wrong type of flowers or cake was incredible.

He supposed it did make sense, James was so close to both Sirius and Remus. Of course, he’d know exactly what they’d want.

That explained all the off-beat magic and tidbits of mischief he’d seen today. Those confetti constellation charms. Whatever the dance floor had that pushed people together. The ribbon streamers flying in between dull conversations, asking people questions. The empty glasses you could mutter whatever you wanted into. It was all so well-crafted. It made him ache.

He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was a ghost floating through.

“Uh, speaking of the wedding. I’m planning that, too. Obviously. As if they could hire someone better than me. But, uh, uhm.” He took a deep breath, like he was readying himself to jump off a cliff, “I kind of told them you’d stay till the wedding,”

At first, he thought he’d misheard. “You-what?”

“Told them you’d stay till the wedding?” He hesitantly said, “Sirius was such a mess, he couldn’t deal with the fact that you were leaving afterwards and I just- I panicked,”

He stayed quiet for a second, his mind slowly processing what he’d heard. When he did, he got the sudden urge to cry.

“I just- no. That’s-“Regulus found himself fumbling. He’d left this. He’d left this all behind, he couldn’t do this again. “No. No, I’m not coming back,”

“But-“

Sadness burned into anger, a whiplash of emotions that suddenly grounded him, he moved forward off the wall and fully faced James.

“You want to know why I left, James? This is why I left!” Regulus spat out, the harsh words contrasting with all the goddamned harmony everyone was in. All the joy and exuberant youth they were bathed in. He could choke on it. “You don’t get to decide what I do, not you, not the Order, not my family, not any megalomaniac with a death-wish, okay? No one, no one but me!” The rasp in his throat caught him off guard. This – he couldn’t not have control, not after all he’d been through.

“What about the people you left behind?”

He found himself inching closer, staring into James’ eyes. “I do not owe anyone a fucking thing, Potter.”

“No.” James’ voice hardened. There. Regulus thought with sick satisfaction, there was the anger he’d so badly craved. James looked beautiful, face twisted with contempt. The anger Regulus deserved. “No. You don’t get to say that. Not after, not after what you did. Everyone was - I was fucked up for months after you left!” He paused.

“No idea of where you were or what you were doing. And then months go by - and you’ve turned sides but still refused to talk to any of us. How dare you?” 

They both stopped after that, chests rising and falling with labored breath. Grey met brown. James swallowed, Regulus’ eyes flickered down to the movement.

And that’s all it took.

It wasn’t gentle, the way the crashed into each other – how could it be? All sharp angles, teeth, and digging nails. Things said and unsaid fell to the wayside. James’ hands grabbed his temples and dragged him inward. His own hand pushed at James’ tie, twisting it around his wrist and pulling in.

It was the farthest thing away from the chaste little touches they’d shared, a lifetime ago, fumbling through newfound confusion and attraction.

This was frustration and despair and regret poured into one. James tilted his head, beckoning Regulus closer. His hands let go of the tie, slamming him into the wall. The groan the came from James’ mouth lit something inside himself aflame. All he could do was push himself further. Closer, closer, closer.

James pushed himself off. Gasping for air. Regulus’ skin burned with all the lost warmth.

His face was vehement in the dull yellow light. Glasses pushed off, lost somewhere in their collision. His lips a violent red – slightly parted. Hair pulled into tufts, sticking out. All the anger that reverberated between them had cooled down into something feverish and restrained.

None of it mattered – the regrets and who’d left and who’d stayed. Not during a war. They were both wrong for bringing this up.  

They fell into silence, shaky breaths, and piercing stares. Regulus felt his skin prickle with anxiety. His mind out of sync with his heart, he didn’t know what to think.

“I just needed to do that – at least once, if you meant it – leaving,” James muttered, words coming out in desperate breaths, eyes tracing his face.

“James, I can’t be here. Not like how you want. It hurts too much,” his voice came out pleading, a hoarse little thing.

James’ hand reached out, tucking Regulus’ hair behind his ear, the gentle touch a vivid contrast to all the desperate touches that preceded it. The urge to cry came back up again.

“That’s- it’s fine. I’m – I’m sorry I said what I did. I think I said it for my sake as much as it was for Sirius’, I thought about you – this, so many times. Even before you left, I didn’t care, I would’ve still been there,” his voice twisted with guilt at that last part, like he was confessing to a heinous crime. In Regulus’ eyes, he might as well have. He wasn’t proud of what he did – those last few months of war, hearing James say this sent a thrill of fear through his heart.

He would’ve destroyed him. He would’ve wrecked him to pieces.

He didn’t want to think about that anymore. It threatened to throw him off-balance. He looked over at James.

“I – I still want,” Regulus swallowed the rising sense of panic in his chest, he cleared his throat “I still want to be here. I just, I can’t be thrown in full throttle like today. You can’t expect me to just fold to whatever you want. But I still want to be here – when these things happen,” it was true, but he only realized it as he said it.

He still wanted the contact. The string to his past. He just couldn’t handle too much of it.

James laughed, a bright little noise that caught him off guard, “So like. Holidays and weddings? God, Regulus you are so – is that what we just had a full on screaming match about? You want to be a normal person living abroad and visit family on special occasions? I thought you wanted to disappear off the face of the earth and never be seen again,”

Regulus’ face burned with embarrassment – James was right, Regulus had blown up over the mere suggestion that someone would be in control of his life again. His therapist was going to have a field day with that one.

“You were the one that said I’d stay till the wedding,”

“Yeah, which is in twenty days?”

“Oh,” Regulus hadn’t thought about that. He should’ve realized – even after the war ended, people weren’t really keen on delaying weddings.

“Yeah, oh. What – you thought I’d keep you here for a year or something?”

Yes, that’s exactly what he thought. “No.”

James laughed again. Regulus wanted to memorize every second of it.

“Y’know it wasn’t really just a screaming match,” Regulus found himself muttering. They were still both so close. Face to face. The air had stilled around them.

“No it wasn’t,” James’ voice dropped low, his eyes finding Regulus’.

When they leaned in again, it felt inevitable.

Warmth filtered across his skin. James’ fingers gripped onto his hair, strong and unrelenting. His weight against Regulus’ own a welcome comfort. He could get lost in this. He could spend all his days here.

James broke away, yet again. Regulus felt like the rug was pulled out from under him.  

“Listen, could we… talk about what we’re doing here?”

“I – what do you mean?” he felt dazed from the lost contact.

“This,” James gestured to the space between them.

“Um, I mean,” Regulus cleared his throat. “We can figure out a portkey system? I can’t give you any promises, I just. I’m barely holding on most days, but I can – for this, I mean, unless you just want something casual, which is fine. I guess. I shouldn’t have assumed. Yeah, that’d be-”

“Reg, you idiot,”

Oh. He should’ve realized, was this just a one off thing? Had he completely misread the situation?

“Has anything about us ever been casual?”

“No. I guess not.” He found himself laughing, none of it was particularly funny, it was just – relief. Weird, the difference a few hours could make in someone’s life.

James started laughing too. Seemingly, only because Regulus was. He linked their hands together.

“And Regulus?”

“Yeah?”

“Next time we have an argument, we really should do more than angrily make out about it,”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, maybe once in a while,”

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

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[shadowbriar]

Remus Lupin - Sore Eyes

Pairing : Remus Lupin x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 2.8k Warning : Food. Insecurity. Not proofread (Sorry I'm lazy lately). Synopsis : Insecurity plagues Remus' mind as the full moon produced a new scar on his face. Notes : Inspired by Babygirl - Sore Eye. If you'd like to be tagged for the next chapters, please fill the form here! If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕ Taglist: @sofiacblair @jsjcue @coffeehurricanes

She wonders if Remus knew just how beautiful he is under the sunlight. How his long lashes would make a faint shadow on his eyelids. How his sandy blonde hair seemed to lighten by a degree and the golden strands gleamed. How his cheeks would turn a shade rosier.

Oh what a beautiful sight Remus John Lupin is.

It’s taken all of her might to fight the urge and run her fingers through his hair. To tuck in the naughty strands that keep on falling to his face as he continues reading, giving him a slight annoyance of huff as he brushes them away, only to have to do the same gesture a couple minutes later.

Remus was beautiful. His tie now hangs loose around his neck. He was lying on his side on the chequered blanket they laid on the grass. James, Sirius, and Peter were busy play-fighting on the field and as always, Remus would rather occupy himself in between the leaves of his novels, giving her all the luxury to adore him privately.

Sometimes, when he would catch her staring, Remus would blush and hide his flustered smile behind his book, just like the attempt he’s doing at the moment.

“I’ve told you to quit staring,” He mutters.

“But why?” She asks, pushing his book down so she could see his face again “You look beautiful.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Yes, of course. Thank you.”

“I mean it.” She chuckles “Why is it that you hate it so much when I compliment you?”

Honestly, Remus doesn’t know why. He supposed it’s due to the fact that he’s never been familiar with people complimenting him for his physical appearance. To be complimented on his cleverness and wit have always been one thing, but to be praised by his beauty? That was something new. The scars littering his skin had always been the cause of people to stare at him pitifully, unlike the adoration and esteem she always has in her eyes whenever he caught her.

“Thank you,” Remus finds himself saying, this time with a more genuine tone “I mean it.”

She smiles at him, finally looking down to her own book.

Now as if on cue, the moment she has her eyes away from him, it was Remus’ turn to gaze. He makes note of all the beauty marks on her face. How the bridge of her nose was shaped, the always present curl on the corner of her lips, and that little stubborn hair on her brow bone that seemed to have its own mind on the direction it was going. All the features that form the bigger beautiful picture.

Remus could see her face every time he closed his eyes. He could imagine the way her forehead would wrinkle a little whenever she was reading something she’s engrossed in, or the sound of her giggle when he would throw a joke that others wouldn’t understand, or the warm assurance he felt whenever she would pat on his shoulder. Something so trivial that shouldn’t have this much magnetism for him.

Had it been done by someone else, Remus wouldn’t have bat an eye, but she had always been an exception. The only exception.

“You’re beautiful, too.”

She looks up, meeting his eyes with a smile. The kind that would have Remus melting to the ground, “Thank you, Remus.”

—-

Remus stares at his reflection once more. The new gash on his right cheek was still red. The pain has long subsided but the ugliness, at least in his mind, of its appearance was still bothering him. He’s taken one too many days staying at the Hospital Wing, even when Madam Pomfrey had cleared him days ago, and he has no other choice but to return to his classes now.

Remus has never been more self-conscious of his appearance than now. He wanted to curse himself for ruining his already less handsome face the other night during the full moon. Perhaps he should’ve drank more potion or chewed on more herbs to keep his violence in check, but he’s never won against the other side of him. He was always the losing party, having to face the consequences the next morning alone for the rest of his life.

Now his feet drag him to the Great Hall. His heart was heavy, hand busy trying to hide the new scar. He was scared. What would she think of him now?

“Ah, there you are!” She greets him happily when he finally finds his seat “I was beginning to worry about you. Sirius said you’ve got a bad food poisoning but he wouldn’t let me visit you at the infirmary. Are you feeling better now, Handsome?”

Remus smiled weakly, still hiding his scar with his hand.

She tilts her head, trying to look at him better. Remus was now trying to act casual, taking a piece of toast with his left hand so he wouldn’t have to move his right, but now he has to figure out how to put the jam on. Trying to do it with one hand only made him look more of a fool.

“Do you need help, Remus?”

“No, I’m fine.” He says quickly “Thank you.”

But he was clearly not fine. Annoyed grunts escaping his lips as the toast wouldn’t sit still on his plate. The jam kept on falling off the steel knife and Remus could feel his head slowly ticking as if it was a bomb ready to explode.

Without a word, she took the knife in his hand and helped him spread the jam to his toast. Remus was frowning now. Embarrassed and angry at himself for making her do it. It makes him feel like he owes her a longer apology and explanation now.

“Did you hurt your right hand, Remus?” She asks softly, her kind smile still evident on her face.

“No, my right hand is perfectly fine.”

She placed his toasts on his plate, nodding in acknowledgement. Remus could see from the small glance on her face that she was curious, understandably so, from his suspicious disappearance the past days and the strange action he’s doing at the moment, but she remains quiet. Her kind smile was still present as if waiting for him to willingly explain himself.

But that revelation never came. At least, not in that morning. Remus ate his breakfast quietly, still not budging his right hand from his cheek, and completed his meal in silence. He busied himself by talking to Peter, pretending to be very much interested in the nonsense Peter was rambling about.

“Prongs,” Remus called before they scrambled to their class “Can I swap seats with you today for Potions?”

James raised an eyebrow, “Why?”

Remus put his hand down for a brief moment, letting James to see his scar but the bespectacled boy remained confused, he shrugged in confusion that made Remus groan in annoyance, “Just do it for me, please? Just for today, I promise.”

“I don’t know, Moony.”

“I’ll see you at Potions, Remmy?” She says, making the two boys turn at her tersely.

“Ah, sure.” Remus nods unsurely, waving at her as she leaves.

“Yeah, no chance, mate.” James says at the event “She’s waiting for you.”

“But—,”

“Why do you even want to swap seats?”

“I’ve told you!” Remus yelled in frustration, only toning his volume down at the stare of others.

“You’ve told me nothing. Quite literally.”

Remus groans, pointing at his scar.

“Okay,” James says, his tone trailing as he tries to process what Remus was exactly pointing at “Was that supposed to answer anything?”

“You’re so daft, Prongs.” Remus grumbles, taking his satchel and swinging it to his left shoulder “Thanks for nothing.”

—-

“I’m going to kill Slughorn,” Remus mutters as he looks at the cauldron in front of him.

The varied ingredients for whatever potion they would be brewing that day have been laid out on their tables. Remus glances to his shoulder, James sitting happily with Lily as they begin their work on the task at hand. He knew that he has to take his hand off of his cheek sooner or later but he would’ve appreciated it better if he was not sitting right next to her now.

“Shall we start?”

Remus only nods, smiling weakly.

But the boy didn’t move. His right hand was still glued to his cheek, the other hand folded in front of his chest. He was worried. He couldn’t tell what her reaction to his new scar would be. Would she be disgusted with him now?

“Remus, are you okay?” She asks with worried eyes now, her hand touching his in a comforting manner “Should I get you to the infirmary?”

“No, no, I’m fine.” He says fast, not wanting her to be even more worried.

With a deep sigh, he finally put his hand down. Painfully slow that it made her brows knitted. His scar is out in the open now. He could see her staring at it and Remus swears he could feel it throbbing once more. Her gaze was gentle and kind as always but Remus can’t help but to feel frightened still.

Her hand was still on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze, “Help me cut the Sopophorous bean?”

Remus nods, flashing her an unsure smile as they begin their work.

—-

When Potions finished, Remus hurriedly excused himself. He was still unsure of her reaction. Was her gentle response a product of her understanding or has it shifted to the kind others gave him? The pitiful and at times degrading stare of his physique that made him wish he could peel himself off of his skin?

Remus now finds himself lying on his bed, face facing down, buried on his stack of pillows. He hated feeling this way. He was just getting comfortable with the kind of compliments she threw at him. He was beginning to feel good in his own skin, to appreciate his scar as his proof of vigour instead of shameful battle scars. Now to think that she might have changed her mind, Merlin, Remus couldn’t imagine the heartbreak he would have to endure.

His finger slowly traced the new scar. Madam Pomfrey said that she would try to make better ointment to heal it but she couldn’t guarantee that it would disappear entirely. Now as much as Remus appreciates the woman’s effort to tend him every time his afflictions cause him troubles, Remus can’t help but to feel the slightest bit of annoyance over her inability to fix his flaw.

Suddenly, a soft knock was heard on the door. He knew that it wouldn’t be any of his roommates for none of them knew any decency to knock and wait for a reply, they would just barge in with no care for the world, so whoever knocked must’ve been someone else. Someone who might not know about his scar trouble.

“Yes?” Remus answered, sitting up now.

“Remmy, can I come in?” Her voice was heard “I’ve brought some chocolates from my last trip to Hogsmeade.”

The boy hurriedly sprang to his feet, dusting off his uniform and fixing the state of his messy bed. He tries to hide all the other embarrassing scattered items of his roommates. Shoving Sirius’ dirty underwear to Peter’s trunk and kicking James’ box of pies that have started to grow mould under his bed.

“Uh, yes, come in.” Remus says, hiding his slight pant from the hurried ‘tidying up’ “Hello, there.”

“Hi, Handsome,” She greets as she enters, closing the door behind her “I wanted to give you this after the trip but Sirius wouldn’t let me visit.”

“Oh,” He says, taking the small parcel with a grateful smile “You need not to.”

“Need not what?”

“Brought me chocolates or to visit me.”

“Why not?” She asked, now taking a seat to the edge of his bed “I wanted to.”

Again, Remus could only find himself smiling and nodding without a word. His hand unconsciously travels to his cheek, still trying to cover the flaw from her.

“Come, sit.” She patted the spot next to her “Why are you so quiet?”

Remus sat down. He left a little space between them, still unsure about his whole predicament.

Her eyes were glued on him. Remus could feel the thousand of questions forming in her head. He too would want to ask questions if someone was acting the same way he’s acting. It was just too strange, too suspicious. Nothing about his gesture was normal and Remus hates that she has to be the one he’s keeping most secret from.

Gently, her hand reaches for his. Remus closes his eyes, letting his scar to be seen once more. He fears seeing her disgusting gaze. He already has that big scar that runs across his cheek. In his mind, he thought that he couldn’t get any uglier than he already is, yet with each full moon he just has to be proven wrong.

But instead of hearing her sickened remarks, Remus was taken off guard when he felt her fingers slowly tracing the new scar. Her touch was gentle. As if she was scared she would hurt him in the process. Remus slowly let his eyes flutter open. He was welcomed by that very blissful sight, of her gazing into him as if he was the most beautiful creature she’s ever laid eyes on.

“Is this okay?” She whispers “Am I hurting you?”

“No,” He says “It feels nice.”

She smiled at him before taking her hands off of him. She was looking down, her expression was hard for him to read and Remus could feel his blood slowly turning cold. This must be it. This must be the time where she would tell him how she finds him awful to look at.

“Can I confess something, Remus?”

Here we go, Remus thought as he nodded.

“I hate waiting to see you. I hate that you’re always sick and I can never seem to visit you whenever you do. I hate that your friends seem to be hiding you away from me every time I want to see you.” She started, now looking back up to see his eyes “But I’ve come to learn that with every wait, every hold and linger I have to see you, it was all worth it because when I finally do see you, everything was alright.”

His eyes softened, completely not expecting to hear her sweet words.

“You’re such a sight for sore eyes, Remus.” She continues “Like waiting up all night for sunrise. Sometimes I wonder if staring at you for too long would blind me, but I don’t think I care much about it.”

Remus smiles as she chuckles on her last words.

Now her hand finds its way back to his cheek, cupping it gently as her thumb caresses his scar softly, “I wish there was a way for you to see yourself from my eyes.”

Remus closes his eyes, trying to melt into her touch entirely.

“You’re beautiful, Remus.” She says “It should be a crime how people don’t tell you as often as they should.”

“You don’t think my scars are ugly?”

“No, never,” She answers firmly “I’ve always wondered how you always manage to get  a new one every time you got sick, but never have I ever thought of them ugly.”

With that, she places a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“I would kiss every inch of your scar if you let me.”

Remus blushed.

“In the appropriate area, of course.” She says with a laugh before turning her mischievous grin back on “Unless..”

“Stop it,” Remus chuckles, nudging on her shoulder “You’re so cheeky.”

“There’s the laugh I so missed about!”

Remus could feel his heart filled with warmth and love now. His gaze travels from her eyes and down to her lips. Oh how pleasant would it be to taste them. But would she want that? Is it safe for him to try his luck today?

“You should go for it,” She says as if she could read his mind “I’ve been waiting forever, if I was being honest, but you do you. Like I said, I don’t mind waiting.”

Again, Remus chuckles at her commentary. He now begins to lean in, trying to close the gap between them as she’s given her consent to it. Their eyes were closed now, heart thumping loud from the excitement and anticipation. They could feel the hot breath of each other fanning their faces as their nose began to touch. But before they could finally seal their lips together, a loud knock was heard on the door.

“Are you guys decent or are you still shagging each other?” Sirius shouts “Can I come in?”

“I’m going to kill him,” Remus mutters, huffing as they pull away “Him and James, both.”

“Kiss me first before you do,” She says with a chuckle.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

And for once, Remus finally cut to the chase and sealed their lips.

[ensnapemysenses]

Imagine Sirius's have a younger sister who finds sister HOT! Like practically drooling over him during every meeting and Severus being unaware because let's face it he can be oblivious to affection. Everyone finds it hilarious but Sirius is one word away from flipping out. -L

L, I know you sent this so long ago but I've been working on it and I FINALLY finished it! Not my best work but at least it's something! And yes I just had to make a little reference to Snupin

Warning: cursing, mentions of sex but nothing too explicit, some brotherly angst from Sirius, glimpse of dom Snape, not proofread

“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” Sirius snarled, teeth bared. “I don’t understand what you see in that treacherous fiend.” His dark eyes flickered yellow as they trailed after the greasy-haired man until he was out of sight. 

The Order meeting hadn’t even started yet but hostility was on the rise. It was in the air, present in the guests' little huffs and puffs, and even in the bare bones of the house itself. Interwoven with its rich and equally dark history the Black family manor wasn’t a welcoming place to be. The dimly lit and depressing atmosphere seemed to have a grip on everyone who had the privilege to cautiously open its doors. 

“Meetings about to start. You finish up in here and I’ll go on ahead,” you huffed, slamming down the bowl of snacks you’d been preparing and pushing past him in pursuit of the man who had left the room before you, Severus Snape. 

Sirius absolutely despised Severus and no amount of sibling love between the two of you could dissipate the anger that only blossomed when they were close. It was odd really, whenever they seemed to catch wind of the other, the two men were immediately at each other's throats. Feral, raw anger pulsed through their veins with a mere glance. In fact, his hatred of the reclusive potions professor with the sharp tongue was so severe that you were convinced he would one day lose it and Avada Kedavra him on the spot. He’d gotten the first part of the spell out of his mouth with the second on the tip of his tongue far too many times than you’d like only to stop short by your pleading. No matter how much the two of you fought, you couldn’t lose your brother to Azkaban again. Not after finding out he was innocent. 

Sirius’s feelings about Severus did nothing to dissuade your own. This was one fight among siblings that you were willing to put up with. With his deep voice and mysterious existence you couldn’t help but be drawn to Severus no matter how much your big brother pleaded with you to leave him alone. Severus was terrible news. And as a confirmed death eater, you couldn’t argue with his warnings but you didn’t care. Dumbledore, Molly, and even Remus were convinced of his true motives in taking down the one whom he had once called master and that was enough for you. 

Though he sat silently apart from the brief moment when he had to report on what the death eaters were up to, your eyes rarely left his dark-clothed and lithe frame. He didn’t seem to notice though, his eyes stayed trained on whoever was speaking at the moment and his toes never left contact with the floor as if he were bracing himself to sprint out the door at a moment's notice. He always did that, bolted out the door the second the meeting ended, and you’d barely been able to say a word to him much less get him alone. 

“Eyes on the prize, eh? You’ve rarely looked elsewhere,” Remus chuckled, nudging your arm. Since he was one of Sirius’s best friends, Remus was kind of like an older brother to you and you knew all too well that he thought you having a liking for Severus was hilarious. “You know Severus and I hooked up while in school a few times. I can give you a few pointers.”

“Remus! Stop it! I know you’re lying!”

“Ask him yourself,” he replied smugly. Remus shrugged and with a smirk diverted his attention back to the meeting. 

“Quiet down with the chatter,” Sirius commanded, jumping to his feet and pacing around the room. “Now, unless anyone has anything of value left to add, I say this meeting is over. You will all receive details about the next one as soon as it is decided.”

“Catch that mouse before he scrambles away,” Remus chuckled. “Go on now! He will be out that door in no time.” 

Sure enough, Severus had his hand on the doorknob by the time you caught up with him. He jolted in place at your sudden appearance next to him.

“May I have a word with you?” 

“I must be going the Dark Lord…”

“He is surely aware of your current status at an Order meeting, Severus. A few extra moments will go unnoticed and could help you live up to your reputation.”

“Ah Severus, off so soon?” Sirius asked, sauntering between the both of you and throwing his arm over you. “Not bugging my sister are you?” 

“He will be off as soon as I have a word with him… in private.” 

“That’s not necessary,” he said moving to the side as Tonks let out a curse when she tripped over the rug on the way out the door. “Let’s move away from this crowded area, shall we?”

“Black, your presence is not required,” Severus warned. “Your sister asked to speak to me and me alone.” 

“I think that whatever my sister has to say to you she can also say in my presence. Right, sis?” he hissed. 

“Fuck off, Sirius,” you scoffed. “Severus, would you mind stepping upstairs to my room where it’s a bit quieter?” 

“Lead the way,” he said, his cheeks turning a profuse shade of red. You thought it was quite cute to see him flustered as you escorted him to your room. 

“So,” you started sitting down on the edge of your bed. Severus took the chair, sitting on the edge waiting for the torture of forced socialization to end. “Remus told me…”

“Don’t,” he snapped. “I don’t care what that lunatic said —”

“So you did fuck him, huh?” you giggled, coming to rest on your knees before him. You couldn’t help but smile when he shifted unconsciously closer to you. “How do you fuck Severus? Are you a needy little bitch? Do you whine and beg?”

“I’ll show you just how I fuck,” he hissed, his eyes darkening. 

You couldn’t walk for a week after he was done with you and Sirius, having enchanted your room, heard every single thing. He hasn’t spoken to you since but you don’t care all you can think about is Severus fucking you again. 

And Severus? He thought the whole thing was splendid and has every intention of fucking you after the next Order meeting. You're his little toy now.

[lumosinlove]

Christmas Eve Will Find Me

Seven: Sirius

Sleeper Car

Somewhere Just Outside of Athens

“I speak ten languages.”

They hadn’t spoken much since entering their small sleeper car. Remus was wary of him. Sirius could feel the lack of trust rolling off of him in waves. He had taken a seat in the window nook and mostly watched the world go by until the sun went down. It left Sirius—not wanting to crowd him—to lay down on the bottom bunk. He figured Remus would want the better vantage point. He always had before. Some time after James had come around knocking with sandwiches, Remus had climbed up to his own top bunk and finally asked his first question.

“Ten sounds right,” Sirius replied.

“Do you, too?” Remus asked.

“Yeah,” Sirius said. He had to clear his throat to make the words come out clearer. Remus had startled him. He’d been near asking Remus something himself so many times, but he wasn’t sure where to start. Are you okay? Were you hurt? Where were you? Did someone help you?

Sirius could feel Remus thinking. He heard the mattress shift from above him. He couldn’t see the bed’s slates or anything. No springs. Each bunk felt like a small sleigh. The wood was carved in a soft-edge curling boarder that Sirius was sure he was going to forget about and hit his head on.

“I’d say your Greek is better than mine, though,” Sirius said.

That night getting gin drunk at the café. Watching Remus converse easily with the waiter, making him laugh straight from his belly and give them two rounds for free. Sirius loved to watch Remus talk to new people, no matter what language. Charm and joy came so easy to him. Sirius had always been too busy sizing up strangers like opponents. Like a threat.

It was easier when it was just him and Remus. Him and James. Him and himself.

He could have sat by the water with Remus forever, joking about diving in.

He had already known Remus was worried about something. Them. I wonder about them. He should have tried harder to break through while they were both weakened by wine and each other. Relaxed and happy. Instead, Sirius had been distracted. Remus in the moonlight, Remus, tilting the wine bottle to his lips as they sat by the sea.

“Come on. We have all night, don’t give out on me, Black.” He’d been laughing as Sirius pushed the bottle away.

“Not if we’re going swimming.” And Sirius had really wanted to go swimming. He’d wanted Remus’ pale back in the moon and a chance—maybe there would be a chance to kiss him.

Sirius got up from the bunk, avoiding hitting his head, and went to sit in the window seat. He could feel the world’s winter air through the glass. He wasn’t going to sleep, and he couldn’t stand this silence from Remus, this wariness. He took out his knives, his guns, and began to check for rust. He couldn’t feel if Remus was watching him or not. Maybe he was sleeping, maybe he was listening. Maybe he was worrying, or even bleeding as he tried to remember something.

Sirius was trying so hard to merely focus on the gun parts in his hands that he didn’t even hear Remus until he was sliding into the booth across from him.

“Why are you the one I remember?” Remus asked.

That question was torture. Why, indeed.

Sirius’ heart thumped. “I don’t know. Your mind wants to remember your life. It’s fighting against whatever scrambled your memories—”

“Yes, but—” The breath Remus let out was frustrated and he stilled Sirius’ busy hands with his own. “Why is it you?” 

“I—I don’t know,” Sirius said, startled by the touch.

“You’re lying.”

Sirius shook his head. “Why would I lie? I…We’re—we work together, we spend lots of time together.”

“We kiss,” Remus said, and a faint buzzing started up in Sirius’ ears. “I dream about kissing you.”

That night, the last time they’d been in Greece. Sirius, we shouldn’t. We shouldn’t. No, Sirius thought. They definitely did not kiss.

“We’re together,” Remus said. It was only half a question, like he was sure that Sirius would agree. He even had a brow arched, as if he was so sure Sirius was lying, as if he was so sure that they actually were together.

It took everything in Sirius to say, “No.”

What the hell was Remus doing, dreaming about kissing him like it was a memory?

Remus narrowed his eyes at him. His mouth opened and closed twice. “But…”

Sirius had nothing to say. Remus’ hand was still over his own, but it slipped away as he sat back in his seat, blinking hard down at the table.

“We work at Salazar,” he said. “Together.”

“Yes,” Sirius nodded.

“A mission went wrong—what did Leo say, six months ago.”

“Yes.”

“I was shot. And Logan.”

“Yes.”

“By Salazar?”

Sirius took a breath. Before Jack, he would have said no, by our targets in Greece. The only wrench was, they had never actually been told who exactly those targets were, and Sirius had spent most of the ride to the train station putting a possible two-and-two together:

Remus stopped trusting Salazar for some reason. Salazar found out and needed to get rid of him without suspicion.

Leo had agreed when he’d whispered it to him as they boarded a bus. What I want to know, Leo had said. Is if Logan knew what Remus knew, or if he just got caught in the crossfire.

“We thought it was a third party, but I think you…” Sirius hesitated. “Knew something. I think you, and maybe Logan, knew something that Salazar didn’t want you to know.” Sirius set the gun down and leaned forward. “What does the name Pascal mean to you?”

Remus shook his head. “Nothing.”

Sirius sighed. “Yeah.”

I dream about kissing you.

They went past a small village, close enough that Sirius could see glimpses of warm lights on in houses.

“Why take our memories? Why not just kill us?” Remus was looking at him in the reflection of the window. Their little cabin looked so perfect against the window’s foggy mirror. Soft and gentle and normal.

“They tried.” Sirius couldn’t meet his eyes when he said it, not even in the window. “Someone took your tracker out and saved you.” He put a hand on his own neck. “We had to cut ours out, too.”

“Saved me?”

“Yeah.”

“And it wasn’t you?”

Sirius shook his head, though Remus didn’t look like he entirely believed him.

“It wipes your memory, that’s the first defense mechanism. We’re thinking they could probably reverse that while the tracker was in place. Leo will be working on that, it’s his area. But…” Sirius rubbed his temple. Kissing kissing kissing. “There’s a kill switch, too. We got ours out in time, we’re thinking you and Lo got your memories wiped first. Then you wouldn’t’ve even know it was there, not to mention how to take it out of your neck. So someone else had to do it.”

“But if it’s out, how will we reverse it?” Remus asked.

For the first time, something other than that hard exterior flashed across Remus’ face. Fear. Sirius wanted to touch his hand again but he didn’t know how. Remus knew two things and one of them wasn’t even true: his own name, and Sirius’ face. A name was a name, but Sirius, apparently, was much less than he had thought he was.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said softly, looking at him directly. “I don’t know.”

Remus pressed his lips together, gaze jerking out the window again.

“We don’t know yet,” Sirius amended. “Leo is good. Leo is very good.”

“Says you,” Remus said in a cool tone. His eyes were still tight and worried, but he was trying to play it off. He looked down at Sirius’ gun. “I can put that back together in a couple seconds. Can you?”

Sirius didn’t even look down as his hands had the weapon reassembled before Remus had even drawn his next breath.

Remus nodded thoughtfully. He was still watching Sirius’ hands. The sound of laughter, a group of people, passed by their door and they both looked. Sirius couldn’t help the way his hand tightened around the gun. He’d never work that reflex out of his system.

“Just passengers,” Remus said. “Am I always this jumpy? Are we, I should say.”

“We are,” Sirius said. We, his mind caught on. “But that’s what keeps us alive.”

“Is it?”

Sirius made to point his gun and, before his wrist got more than an inch above the table, Remus’ hand was around it, vice-like. Sirius watched him stare at it. He watched the slow, half smile cross Remus’ face.

“I see.”

Remus let go slowly. Sirius wished he wouldn’t. He took up the gun. As Sirius watched, he took it apart again and then put it back together—easy.

“If only I could do that to myself,” Remus said.

“I would if I could.”

Remus nodded. He set the gun down between them. The train took a turn and they both leaned a little, looking back out the window—at each other’s reflections—as the hills turned with them.

“Are you sure we’ve never kissed?” Remus asked.

“I wouldn’t lie.” He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

Remus’ reflection looked at him. “Did we want to?”

That was a more complicated question. Want. There were years of history in that word. In the dormitories, shaking Remus’ hand for the first time. Helping each other in class—learning languages, picking each other’s pockets and trying to see if the other might notice. Pinning each other on the mat, catching each other with the stunning bullets in target practice. They had been named a team from the very beginning. Sirius, perhaps, had fallen in love not just with Remus, but with the idea of never having to leave his side.

Even still, it took everything in him to say, “Yes.”

[luveline]

Congrats again on 35k you’re so special and kind to us ❤️❤️

please for the valentines prompt would you consider remus/or rockstar!remus and ❛ if i kissed you, i don’t think i’d be able to stop. ❜

luveline's valentine's mini party ♥︎

ily <3 thank you for your request!! rockstar!remus x fem!reader

"You're looking at me funny," you say. 

Remus smiles, abashed, and looks down at his camera. He fiddles with the snap out monitor. "Was I?" he asks. 

"A little bit… what were you thinking about?" 

He clicks a few buttons, the camera ringing with their beeps. You realise he isn't going to answer you and it doesn't really matter, but you sidle closer and pout softly.

"A hint?" you ask. 

He lifts the camera. The strap strains against the back of his hand. "Go stand in the middle, I wanna get a picture of you." 

You might think he was a bossy twat with no affection about him if you didn't know him. You could refuse his command and he wouldn't care, he'd probably laugh and like you more for it. But he wants a picture of you, so you fast walk away from him, more than fifty feet. Tonight's venue is huge, the biggest he's ever played, and he'd flown you out from your tiny hometown to be there with him and the boys. James had given you a mushy welcome and a speech on how you'd always been there for them, and Sirius had given you a smacking kiss on the cheek, but Remus has yet to do anything but take photos of you in various places making various faces. 

"You look tiny," he calls. 

"Can you see all the seats behind me?"

"No, there's too many!" 

You turn to look. There are a lot of seats, thousands of them. The stadium echoes with your conversation and the sounds of people moving. On stage, they cart equipment back and forth, various sound checks and tests taking place one after another. It feels like musical marco polo. 

It feels appropriate to do a little spin. 

Remus walks toward you and you step in line, wanting to see the picture. It's taken some time, but he's ready to answer now, apparently. 

"I was thinking about kissing you," he says, his arm pressed to your arm, the two of you looking down as he shows you the video he's taken of you. Your skin shines under the floodlights. 

"You can kiss me," you say, too eagerly for a best friend. He's not stupid, he knows how you feel.

"If I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop," he admits, measured, turning his face to yours.

You look into his eyes. 

"And I really need to get it right, tonight. I need to," —his lips drift closer to yours— "think clearly. But ever since you got here, I've wanted to…" 

He closes his eyes, but he doesn't move in. If anything, he moves away, tilting his chin toward his chest. He looks like he's fighting a losing internal battle. 

You're not one to torture him, no matter how much you want a kiss. 

"You could still kiss me after the show." Your breath catches in your throat, your chest heaving with the effort it takes to force yourself to say it aloud. "However long you wanted, maybe." 

His eyes remain closed. His hair shifts above his ears, and the guitar string scar dividing his top lip tugs as he smirks very, very slowly, clearly deep in thought once again. You steal the camera from his hands, ignoring the way your skin prickles as his fingertips brush. 

"Smile for the camera, rockstar," you say. 

He doesn't smile, but he comes close. 

After the show, when he's sweaty and tired and alive with adrenaline, he takes your face into his hands, and you feel the unmistakable curve of a smile against your lips. 

[starsval]

request for Remus Lupin dating potter! reader. Maybe angsty after Halloween 1981?

i miss you, im sorry

remus lupin x potter!reader

summary: remus leaves when the war ends.

word count: 1k

warnings: mentions of scars, mentions of james' death, sad? idk

"you're just gonna leave?" remus eyes go to the scar on your face, made from the first war. much to your brother and boyfriend's displeasure.

not like it mattered anymore. one of them is gone and the other is leaving you right now. 

"i can't stay here, love, it's too much" he looks away, but he doesn't stand up yet, sinking in everything before he leaves your house forever. 

"you're not going to fight for harry? to keep him safe? you're not going to fight for sirius?" he closes his eyes when you mention his best friend, like you just stabbed him. 

"harry will be safe with petunia, away from the magic. and sirius is a traitor" he spits the last words, even after your efforts in trying to get him to believe that he's innocent. like you do. 

he says his name like it hurts. 

"remus" you sigh, trying to get him to look at you. "he's- he's your best friend, and you know that he'd never do that to james" 

this time you're the one who says someone's name like it hurts. not because you think he's a traitor, but because he's gone, he left without warning. your brother is dead and he will never come back. and with his death you also lost lily, sirius and harry. you don't even have your nephew to take care of. 

remus doesn't answer, instead, he just stares at a wall. 

"you're not gonna fight for me?" he looks at you, and presses his lips together. "i thought, that we'd go through this together" 

"i'm sorry" he closes his eyes. 

"you promised" although he can't see you, he can feel you walk closer to him. 

"i'm sorry"

"when this started, you said we'd go through this together, where did that go?" you're in front of him, but he doesn't open his eyes. 

"i don't know, i'm sorry" he whispers

"i- i know we weren't in the best moment of our relationship before this, but… i didn't think that'd matter"

he swears he doesn't mean to let it drop, but there's nothing he can do as he watches the cup break into pieces. 

"i thought you'd know better than that" he says, ignoring the glass on the floor. 

"better than what? i'm just supposed to stand back as everyone fights?" you can tell he's disappointed. 

"you could've stood with me" he turns around, not waiting for an answer. you can't do much but leave his old apartment. 

with an agreement that you're not talking. 

"it's not like that- i just, you bring me many memories. you remind me of your brother, of lily, of harry, and i can't deal with that" he cups your face in his hands "i'm sorry but i can't"

"you said forever and i almost bought it" this time you're the one who looks away. 

"i meant it"

"did you?" he let's go of your face. 

"i did" he almost swears it, but what's the point when he doesn't anymore. 

"do you remember? happy together?" you suddenly ask, trying to bring back your good memories. 

because maybe he'll regret doing this. 

"i do, don't you?" you talk again. and you think that he's going to agree but he just let's go of your face.

"i'm sorry" he looks like he's actually going to be sick when he stands up and leaves.

and you stay like that, staring at the door he just closed. alone in what feels like a haunted house. because everyone that used to live in it, is gone. 

except you.

    ᨳ      ׂ   𓈒  ⠀🌙 ㅤׂ  ✽    ੭

you were on your way home from petunias'. you tried to at least see harry. but there was no use.

it was already december, and after months of trying, you still hadn't seen your nephew. 

and you knew that it would be pointless. you know it's going to be pointless when you knock on the door of what used to be remus and sirius' house. 

remus opens it, not expecting you there. and he immediately closes it. 

ᨳ      ׂ   𓈒  ⠀🌙 ㅤׂ  ✽    ੭

you figured he hates you. that he'd want nothing to do with you. 

but instead he called. 

"remus?" you immediately call for him, trying with his name a few times, with no answer. 

"i- i thought you hated me? did something happen? is someone hurt?" he still doesn't answer, you can't hear anything. 

"are you making fun of me?" still no answer. 

"remus i have to-" you don't continue, because he says something.

"i miss you" he says, almost inaudible, but you caught it. 

he immediately hangs up. 

ᨳ      ׂ   𓈒  ⠀🌙 ㅤׂ  ✽    ੭

eventually you stop showing up at his house. while you wanted to fight for him, you were still mourning. so you just stopped trying. 

winter went by and spring was reaching it's end. 

maybe it was the breeze that lead remus to your door. 

neither of you talk, you just stare at him. and a minute passes when remus is finally able to meet your gaze. 

"i'm sorry" it's the first thing he says, and he's going to keep talking, but you stop him before he can. 

"that's not fair" you try to close the door, but he keeps it open. 

"i know, and i'm sorry, but i don't wanna go, think i'll make it worse. and everything i know brings me back to us" he's almost crying. 

"and i know that we've been here before, and i swear that i tried not to come here, i tried not to knock, but everywhere i go leads me back to you" he has come closer to you, and you let him. 

"remus-"

"i miss you, i'm sorry" he puts his forehead on yours. and you're both crying. 

"nothing happened in the way i wanted" you tell him, because it's true. you lost everything. 

"i know, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry" he puts his arms around you. 

"every corner in this house is haunted" you confess. "and i know you said we weren't talking, but you don't know how hard i had to fight the urge to go to your house every single day" he holds you as you cry. "but i missed you" 

"i still love you, i promise" he kisses your head. 

and you stay like that until you both calm down. then you just get inside, and try to rebuild what you lost months ago. 

[dramioneasks]

Novel Length Fics (> 200,000 words) (Part 8)

Title: Unsinkable Author: Gingersoup  Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Drama, Angst Chapters: 38 Word Count: 250,812 Summary: After a fight gone wrong in the Department of Mysteries, sworn enemies Draco and Hermione are thrown into a mysterious pensive-like portal and come out the other side onto the RMS Titanic. In a race against time and without their wands, the unlikely duo will have to fight against the binds of their new identities as well as their animosity toward each other in order to survive.

Title: Anchor and Rose. Author: sixth_senses Rating: E Genre(s): Romance, Drama, Angst Chapters: 38 Word Count: 200,220 Summary: "Is it really a good idea to run away from war with the person you despise the most?"A hotel, A boathouse, Narcissa Malfoy's safe-house, and the world's most powerful wand left behind by Regulus Black. What else could Hermione add to the list to make her absolutely insane?Ah yes, Draco fucking Malfoy.ALSO AVAILABLE ON MY WATTPAD (sixth_senses)

Title: selfxconclusion Author: spicyxpisces Rating: E Genre(s): Romance, Drama, Angst Chapters: 40 Word Count: 424,687 Summary: One year after the death of her husband, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger is trying to navigate her way through her loss. While trying to discover who she is without her husband, her friends move through their own forms of grief within their relationships.

Title: The Stars Above Us Author: embersofapril Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Fluff, Angst Chapters: 40 Word Count: 200,988 Summary: He remains silent at first, clearly unsure of what to say next. The temperature feels hot, he thinks, especially for the dungeon's standards. He feels as if he can see the air particles between them, perhaps even count how many separate them from one another.It feels odd for him to be alone with Granger in the potions lab after all this time.He catches the faint scent of strawberries and honey, reminding him to order the ingredients for his lesson on Amortentia for his NEWT classes next week.-A slow-burn, flashback-filled dramione fanfiction with a side of wolfstar.

Title: A Game of High Stakes Author: in_dreams Rating: E Genre(s): Romance, Angst Chapters: 51 Word Count: 263,110 Summary: In theory, the task is simple: kill Draco Malfoy. In practice, putting a curse through the Dark Lord's favoured lieutenant will take everything Hermione has―especially since he's trying to kill her, too. Even more so when the lines between them start to blur. Sometimes, the only way out is through.

Title: Who We Are Now Author: LiloLilyAnn Rating: E Genre(s): Romance, Angst Chapters: 60 Word Count: 398,717 Summary: She lived through the war, but did she actually survive it? She didn't recognize the girl who looked back at her in the mirror, sunken eyes and protruding ribs, covered in scars. This wasn’t Hermione Granger. She died alongside Lavender, Fred, Sirius, Remus... Her name wasn’t up on any walls in memoriam, but she felt like a casualty nonetheless.*****When Hermione can't seem to get past the trauma of the war and all that happened to her, she's convinced to get help for her mental health issues. Unfortunately, the Wizarding World has none... yet.

Title: Redemption/Atonement Author: LordoftheManor Rating: E Genre(s): Romance, Angst, Drama Chapters: 75 Word Count: 448,946 Summary: Draco Malfoy has had a crush on Granger for years. When Blaise tells him he's heard Granger has a crush on him--Draco decides to seize the opportunity. The only problem is, Granger wants to keep things quiet. Oh and he's a Death Eater working for Lord Voldemort. Hermione Granger has been secretly pining after Draco for years, telling no one. When he suddenly confronts her after class her world turns upside down. This is a 7th year fic as if Dumbledore hadn’t been killed and Voldemort hadn’t taken over the ministry yet. Draco redemption arc. This will cover books 6 & 7.Really just an excuse to write smut about a curly haired witch and her platinum haired beau. There will be dark themes, I’ll try not to stray too far from the books with that though. Explicit sexual content.

Title: A Dangerous Collection Author: Lia_Redrose Rating: E Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 34 Word Count: 208,277 Summary: Eight years after Voldemort's defeat, Draco Malfoy has left England for good. He has become a potioneer and works in a Potion Shop in Florence. He thinks he has done with the past, until one day a famous girl with messy curls and curious eyes storms inside and asks for a cure.The words and the newborn smile died as the woman turned to face him. Her mouth opened and her facial features became confused and astonished. “Malfoy?” There were surely some deities - three at least - that hated him and conjured for that to happen, because there was no other explanation to what was happening to him. It was a catastrophe. A catastrophe Draco couldn’t escape unless he bolted out of the shop to never come back again, which was something he couldn’t do. That’s why he cleared his throat and proceeded to greet his customer with a simple and clear “Granger.”

Title: Redemption Author: gnrkrystle  Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Drama Chapters: 45 Word Count: 237,960 Summary: As an Unspeakable, Hermione has been tasked with a very complicated case. All the Marked Death Eaters in Azkaban are falling ill - Draco Malfoy and Theo Nott the worst among them. She has to find out why and cure them.

Title: Finding Hermione Author: ebookdragon Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Drama Chapters: 51 Word Count: 217,753 Summary: Fifteen years after the end of the Second Wizarding War, former Hogwarts' students are sending their own children off to school for the first time. As the train leaves, Hermione makes a startling discovery about her husband and the secret life he's been living. Draco witnesses Hermione's world shatter and comes to her rescue, helping her pick up the pieces and find herself again.

Title: The Education of a Lady Author: thewanderers'wanderingdaughter  Rating: M Genre(s): Drama, Horror Chapters: 34 Word Count: 365,605 Summary: Fourth and final (for real this time) part in the His Little Bird series. The story of survival, betrayal, and tragedy. A monster took everything from her. Now she's expected to be a willing participant in the world he's built for them. They want her to become one of them. She only wants vengeance, and now that she has her power back, she can make that a reality.

Title: Snow Angel Author: SunflowersXx Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Drama Chapters: 31 Word Count: 353,142 Summary: ‘To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves’- Federico Garcia Lorca. Hermione hated secrets, she hated the idea that their lives were already decided in the stars; but mostly, she hated that she had to break Draco Malfoy’s heart.Draco didn’t think he would ever know what love felt like, he didn’t think he would find it in the sun, in whiskey and in that one curl. He certainly didn’t think he would loose it just as he had it in his grasp.

Title: The Hardest of Hearts Author: WillowingScribe1709 Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Humour Chapters: 34 Word Count: 219,508 Summary: Hermione, driven to become Minister of Magic, reluctantly joins a matchmaking agency, only to discover Draco Malfoy as her top match.Initially scoffing at the idea of marrying her old nemesis, Hermione is forced to reconsider when their paths intertwine, unraveling not just their past but also new layers of deceit. Among these Draco's connection to the Seven Devils, a group wrapped in secrecy and rumoured to have been founded by his father, Lucius.What starts out as a simple match of convenience soon blossoms into a profound connection that catches Hermione completely off guard. With a menacing new threat casting a shadow over their future, their growing bond becomes the crux upon which destiny hinges.---------“It’s not that simple,” he said, and his eyes flashed with something dark that curled around her airways and choked the breath out of her. “Even if we never consummate our marriage, I need to know that I can touch you in public without you flinching. That you can touch me in return without looking green in the face.”“Of course I can,” she said with more bravado than she felt.“Is that so?” Malfoy asked, more darkness swirling in his eyes. “Care to demonstrate?”

[rollercoasterwords]

tried to read wfrau as i saw people rec it, but there's something bothering me in that fic. i don't like the alpha-male-ification of remus in wfrau. remus is not a beast who can fight another beast werewolves. he was a timid, sheltered boy in canon, but it's like you're making him fit into the fanon toxic wolfstar heteronormative box. it feels weird to read. please don't make me start on why it seems like you hate sirius OR use sirius as a self-insert to indulge in your fetishization of remus. like why do you write sirius as abused, when it was canonically remus who was disabled. can you consider rewrite some points in the fic, aligned to canon?

lmao where do i even start with this. uhhhhh okay first of all to answer your question - no, i will not be rewriting to make my non-canon-compliant fic more compliant with canon. if you don't like it, i suggest you don't read it! i'm not writing the story for you, and i'm not really sure why you think it would matter to me whether you like it or not. there are plenty of other fics out there that you can go read.

this fic was explicitly written to be a werewolf-fighting ring au. if you don't like remus fighting other werewolves, then i'm baffled as to why you even started it in the first place, considering that it's clearly tagged "werewolf fighting ring." i don't agree with your interpretation of canon that he was a "timid, sheltered" boy; even if i did, this fic is specifically exploring how the characters would be different in an au, non-canon-compliant version of their world. if the gay romance between two men is too heteronormative for you, there are, again, other fics out there that you can read. and if you don't want to read about "toxic" relationships then u DEFINITELY shouldn't read this fic, because none of the relationships in it are wholesome and healthy lmao. if you think i hate sirius...i don't even know what to say lol. like yeah i hate him so much that i've written hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction about him. that checks out! and remus is fetishized in this fic for being a werewolf, which is a topic that gets explored in-depth in his pov chapter and is not something condoned by the narrative. i'm assuming you didn't read that far, though, and that what you mean by "fetishization" is the fact that sirius finds him sexy. so. again, i think you probably should just not read this fic if characters being sexually attracted to each other bothers you. i write sirius as being abused because that's the story i wanted to tell; not really sure how remus being canonically disabled is something that would cancel that out? those are two separate things. and remus's canonical disability is his lycanthropy, which....also exists in this fic. and is another topic that gets explored throughout the story.

in conclusion i truly cannot emphasize enough that i am not the person out here reccing this fic, i am not trying to grow an audience or go viral or any of that bullshit. not sure where you got the rec from, but i have actually asked people not to post about my fics on tiktok to try and avoid them blowing up there, because i do not want people like you reading them. i include an entire warning on the first chapter about the fact that this fic is dark and deals with heavy topics; i've tagged the fic thoroughly and have also included "additional tags to be added" to remind people that it's a wip and things are subject to change. all this is to emphasize -- i really, really, really don't care if any person reading the fic dislikes it. i don't care if they dislike it so much that they have to stop reading, because i don't care how many people are reading it in the first place!! i'm writing this story purely for fun, for myself, so i'm going to write what i want to write. even if you intended for this message to be polite, it just comes off as incredibly entitled to ask a stranger on the internet to spend hours of time and labor tailoring a story to your specific tastes, and if you think this type of message is okay to send then i think you should genuinely sit down and reevaluate the way you approach fandom. nobody is making you read fics you don't like, so just....don't read them.

[engie-ivy]

(Wolfstar Meet-Cute with Fancy Guest Sirius and Waiter Remus!)

Read Part Two here

1697 words

When the best thing about a party is the waiter, it's either a very lame party, or a very appealing waiter. Or, as in this case, both.

There's Bound To Be Talk Tomorrow

Baby, it's Cold Outside - Frank Loesser

Sirius has to resist the urge to just lay his head down on the table and groan when Rabastan walks away for a moment to chat to the prime minister. The main course hasn't even been served yet and the evening already feels much, much too long.

“He's an asshole.”

Sirius looks up to see his table’s waiter having sat down on the chair next to him. Calloused hands, scars peeking out from under the collar of his shirt, floppy hair and a somewhat challenging look in his amber-coloured eyes.

Around them, people are milling about, dressed to the nines, seeing and being seen, exchanging polite conversation with existing connections and trying to make new connections, at the annual Christmas benefit gala dinner for high society's rich and powerful. Sirius can already see curious, and some scandalized, looks being thrown in their direction for an employee sitting down at one of the tables and talking to one of the guests. The waiter must also notice, but he doesn't seem to care, or even might enjoy causing a little controversy.

Sirius is intrigued.

He has been exchanging looks with the waiter all evening, it's actually the only thing that has made the evening bearable so far.

“I know things are unequally distributed,” Rabastan said. “Of course I have achieved everything by working very hard, but sometimes I think it's just so unfair that I'm also highly intelligent, well-spoken, and a naturally gifted businessman. I feel bad for those who don't have my skills and talent, but giving money to the poor will not solve anything. They will just squander it.” He shook his head. “No, I believe I'll help most by leading by example and giving advice based on my own successes.”

“Mmm,” Sirius hummed. “I don't think ‘let your dad make you CEO of his company’ is very useful advice to many.”

Sirius heard someone snort, and when he looked up, he saw the waiter quickly covering his mouth with his hand. They exchanged an amused look.

“Why would I have to pay for other people's health care?” Rabastan asked loudly, wine almost splashing out of his glass. “I take good care of myself! I spend precious time working with a personal trainer, I only let my personal chef prepare healthy meals, and I only eat at restaurants serving the finest organic foods.”

One of the women at their table looked at Rabastan with admiration.

Rabastan sat back in his chair, smirking. “If other people want to stuff themselves with fast food, it's their problem if they get sick. I'm not going to pay the prize.”

The waiter glanced at Sirius in a ‘is this guy for real?’ kind of way, and Sirius had just shrugged helplessly.

Rabastan lifted his glass. “I'd like to propose a toast! But not to myself, no. The excellent year I had, all my personal achievements, all my impressive financial gains, it all means nothing in light of the good cause for which we are gathered here tonight; the orphaned children.”

“Orphaned children,” Sirius repeated with a raised eyebrow. “You do know tonight is to raise money for children fighting cancer?”

Rabastan gave him an annoyed look. “Of course,” he said pointedly. “That's what I meant. When you give so much to so many charities all the time, you sometimes lose track.” He placed a hand over his heart. “I'm just such a giving person. It's my biggest flaw.”

Sirius almost automatically searched the waiter's gaze, and when their gazes met, they rolled their eyes at the same time.

Yet, Sirius hadn't expected the waiter to be so bold as to sit down in the vacant chair next to him the moment Rabastan’s back was turned, and talk to him like that.

“Your date, I mean,” the waiter says, as if Sirius might not have understood. “Your date’s an asshole.”

His refreshing straightforwardness, his ‘I don't care’-attitude, the challenge hidden in those eyes, it's… Well, it's damn hot, is what it is.

“I know,” Sirius agrees, taking a sip from his drink.

The waiter smirks. “So, is that your type then? Egocentric pricks?”

Sirius chuckles. “Not quite, no. It was my mother who insisted on this match.”

The waiter arches an eyebrow. “Does your mother always pick your dates?”

“This was a special case,” Sirius replies. “Her brother's daughter just got engaged to a Lestrange, so of course one of her children simply had to attend tonight's event with a Lestrange as well.” He rolls his eyes.

“You do know that you are allowed to say no to your mother, right?” The waiter asks.

“Oh, believe me, I do,” Sirius replies. “Going against my family's wishes is actually one of my specialties, but in this case I decided to oblige.”

“How so?”

Sirius nods towards a couple a few tables to the right and the waiter turns to look.

A young man with features similar to Sirius’, but shorter and slightly thinner, with also shorter hair, styled in an old-fashioned haircut, is talking to another young man, with blond curly hair and a face that seems permanently flushed. They seem not to notice anything else in the room, leaning towards each other with similar smiles on their faces, talking animatedly.

“Cute,” the waiter states.

“My younger brother, Regulus,” Sirius says. “He got asked by Evan Rosier to attend tonight's event together, and he was just over the moon. I knew that our mother wasn't going to let go of the idea of one of her children attending with a Lestrange, and that if I would say no, she would ask Reg, and he has never been as good as I am in telling our parents no. He definitely would've agreed for some stupid reason as ‘placing the family's interest above his own’ or something like that, even though it would've killed him to turn down Rosier.” Sirius shakes his head. “I decided to give Reg this one night with Rosier that he had been so looking forward to, and the only way I could, was by agreeing to attend with Rabastan Lestrange myself.”

“And here I was thinking you just had awful taste in men,” the waiter says. “But there's actually some noble, self-sacrificing reason behind it.”

“It's just one night of sitting in a chair eating fancy food,” Sirius says. “Not much sacrifice.”

“Well, I couldn't do it,” the waiter says, glancing at the many rows of cutlery on the table. “Sitting next to him with so many knives within hand's reach. I would've stabbed him by now.”

Sirius chuckles. “I admit I came close to jabbing a fork in his hand at one point, but I feared I would hit my own leg, as his hand happened to be positioned on my thigh at that moment.”

The waiter makes a face. “I'm sorry.” Then he looks at Sirius with a sincere expression. “Listen,” he begins a tad awkwardly. “You definitely don't strike me as some damsel in distress and I'm sure you can take good care of yourself and don't need to hear this from me, but I hope you're not letting him bring you home? I know it's none of my business, but I don't like the way he's looking at you, and he seems like the type of person who's not used to being told no. I don't like the idea of you being alone with him.”

“Don't worry,” Sirius says, tapping his glass of water. “I made sure I have my own ride. I drove here on my motorcycle.”

“Motorcycle?” The waiter groans, placing a hand over his heart. “God, just when I thought you couldn't get any hotter.”

Sirius barks a laugh.

The waiter tilts his head and smiles while looking at Sirius. “I like your laugh. I didn't hear you laugh like that before.”

Sirius, who can't even recall the last time he blushed, feels his face flush. “That's because it's my real laugh. And Rabastan told me not to laugh like that in public. He says I'll embarrass him, and that it makes me sound like a barking dog.”

The waiter frowns. “Like… that's a bad thing? I mean, can you imagine a better sound than a barking dog?”

Sirius barks another laugh.

“That's two,” the waiter says. “Two times I made you laugh your real laugh. Take that, Rabastan. You know,” he leans forward smiling at Sirius. “I think, given the chance, I can increase that number.”

“What do you mean?” Sirius asks.

“How about we just get out of here together?” The waiter asks.

“Really?” Sirius asks, and then he smirks. “Didn't you just warn me against being alone with a man who might have an ulterior motive?”

“Ah,” the waiter says, holding up a finger. “I said a man who isn't used to being told no. I, however, am very much used to being told no!” Then he cringes at himself. “Good god, did I really just try to flirt with a cute guy by emphasizing how used I am to being rejected?”

Sirius barks a laugh again.

The waiter says nothing, just holds up three fingers.

Sirius shakes his head, but he can't suppress the smile on his face. “You'll lose your job.”

The waiter shrugs. “It's a shite job, with shite pay.”

“Still,” Sirius says. “You'll give it up for someone you know nothing about?”

“I know that I want to hear that laugh more often,” the waiter says. “As for the rest? I'm willing to take a risk.” He holds out his hand. “So, what do you say? Is it too much of a cliché for me to sit on the back of your motorcycle with my arms wrapped around you, while we drive off into the night together?”

It will undoubtedly be stupid. The waiter will lose his job, Sirius will get in all sorts of trouble with his family, and they don't even know each other's name. Yet, there's something about the man that Sirius finds himself unable to resist. “It is a terrible cliché,” Sirius agrees, while still reaching out to take the man's offered hand. “But I guess I can appreciate a good classic.”

Now with a Part Two!