#like sam would be pissed and prove john wrong

[02x14]

John's homophobia is more like if Sam comes out as gay he'd say it's good esp since males don't form long-term relationships so it's better for hunting

[hoe4destiel]

Who Pissed In Your Lucky Charms?

Word count: 1.1k 

Overall Warnings: John being a neglectant POS dad, Strong language, graphic descriptions of violence, graphic descriptions of injuries, eventual smut.

Chapter Warnings: Strong language, mentions of violence, if you squint some of it can be read as homophobic, descriptions of injuries, and John being a neglectant POS dad.

Pairings, Dean Winchester x Fem!reader, Sam Winchester x Platonic!Reader, slight Sam Winchester x Jess (Mentioned) And John being a sad, lonely, dick wad that can’t get any.

Plot summary: Exhibit A of How Dean Winchester Was Royally Fucked Up By John Winchester.

A/N: I co-wrote the most part of this with @hoe-for-fictional-men, and she posted it on her blog as well!

My world ended on Dean Winchester's 17th birthday. See, instead of having a normal birthday, he went on his first solo hunt. On January 24, the day after my own birthday, his dad told him that it was time, that he was old enough, and mature enough to do it without him there.      

That was bull. 

I knew that.

Dean knew that, but he still went. 

When he came back, he was a different person. His green eyes no longer sparkled when he heard a classic rock song, and his smile that was once brighter than the sun became a shadow of its former self.

The only time he seemed like his old self was when he was with Sammy. I think that he reminds Dean of when he was that naive. When Sam was younger, Dean would take care of him while their dad went to hunt Yellow Eyes. 

I think that Dean spent more time raising Sam than John ever did. I remember one time, Sammy wanted a few books, but John was too busy to notice or remember.

 That night, Dean snuck out, and went to a pool hall. He played all night so that he could have enough money to buy those three books. 

The next morning, everyone was startled awake at 6:00 by a loud scream from Saean, Dad, and I came sprinting, expecting some form of monster to be attacking.  John didn’t give an fuck, and stayed in bed. Obviously sleep is more important than his son possibly being in danger.

Instead of a threat, there was a stack of books, sitting on the table, encased in Scooby Doo wrapping paper.

I wonder what that was like for him, having that pressure on him 24/7. I know what he told me, and I know what it was like when my Dad went to help Bobby and I had to take care of my siblings. 

Sometimes, my dad would have us stay with Dean and Sammy while helping John hunt Yellow eyes.  Then I could see what the life of a hunter’s boy was really like. 

On paper it sounds like one huge adventure, where it’s nothin’ but a good time,and you never know where you will wake up. But in reality it was the worst torture that you could condemn a child to.

Where each night was a new motel bed, and your only true home was a 1967 Chevy Impala. Never knowing if your family would come back, or if they would be on the 12:00 news. 

I always thought that hunters were noble people that could do no wrong, but on January 17, I was proved wrong. 

I thought that there was another reason for Dean going on his first hunt on his own, and I was right. 

⚡Flashback⚡

See, tonight John was lazy. He left his journal out, and I was gonna be nice and put it by his bed, so he wouldn’t lose it. But, when I was walking, I didn’t have a very good grip on the leather, and it slipped.

John has a lot of bookmarks, but he had today marked with a thick envelope. When I dropped it, it opened.

I couldn’t help it, and started to read. 

Dean turns seventeen today. We went shooting. Then I sent him out on his first hunt. I've let him take the lead before, but I was always there to back him up. This time he’s on his own. Partly it’s a test, and partly I wanted to spend some time with sammy. Should be no problem for dean. Ghosts of two nuns haunting st. Stephens Indian mission in riverton, wyoming. Simple salt-and-burn mission. Nuns in love with each other, then were discovered. Killed themselves. We scoped the situation out, figured that something must be left behind thats now a focus for the haunting. Bible, rosary beads, some small article that’s hidden somewhere in their room. I figured that dean would be fine, but I still stayed close with sammy.

That worthless little-! How could he? I understand wanting to spend more time with your other child, and yes, that's good. BUT NOT ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!!! 

Is it a good thing that he is trusted to go on hunts by himself? Yes. Is it a good thing to have to go kill dead people on his birthday, on his own for the first time, SO THAT YOU CAN SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR OTHER SON??? Not OK.

I power walked over to where John's bed was and said, “WAKE THE FUCKITY UPPITY SWEETHEART!” 

He bolted upright, a silver blade in one hand, a gun loaded with witch killing bullets in the other. 

John spotted me and lowered the weapons, letting out a sigh of relief. “Jesus Christ kid, are you trying to give me a heart attack? Holy shit.” 

He looked at my face and said, “Damn, who pissed in your lucky charms?”

Glaring at him, I made an attempt to lower my voice so that I wouldn’t wake Sam up,“Why in the name of Hell would you do that shit to Dean? Today of all days?” 

He looked like a kid that got caught stealing a cookie, but still tried to play dumb. 

“What are ya talkin’ about? Is Dean OK?” 

ARE YOU- Stopping myself from screaming at him, I whisper hissed, “John Eric Winchester, do NOT pretend like you don’t know exactly what you did.” 

If looks could kill, we would both be dead.

John just seemed to notice his journal open in my hand. “Why do you have that?” It was as if he thought that I had stolen it from his pocket when his back was turned.

“Maybe because you left it out??? AND I DIDN’T WANT IT LEFT BEHIND BECAUSE I KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO YOU??” At this point we were both quietly screaming at each other.

With that, Sammy yelled from the other room, “Dean’s back!”

Giving John one last glare, I turned on my heel to go check on Dean.

As I walked into the living room area, my breath caught in my throat, and my heart stopped beating for a full second. 

Dean was being held up by Sam, barely holding on to consciousness. Every visible inch of him was covered in blood, bruises, and grime. Dean gave me a half-hearted smile, then winced from pain.

“What the hell happened?” I asked while rushing to his side. There was a shallow slash across his left cheekbone, and a dark purple bruise on his jawline. His head lolled to one side, passing out on Sam's shoulder. “Shit! ”

[mybrainlol]

I just did a shortish workout, listening to Pantera. Lifted the kettle bell, did some leg stretches. Decided to exercise and let out my anger frustration, rather than let it get to me and brood. It's absurd that Johnny would just block me, and make a post about how he thought I was calling out Sam on social media. Does the fool not realize that he was doing the same thing? Obviously not. That's how oblivious he is. I cried some tears earlier, because I was worried that Johnny would essentially slander my name, and maybe prevent the rest of the guys from ever wanting to talk to me. Then I realized, any actual adult would not give a fuck. Like Phil Anselmo said, "A punk like that is just piss in the wind". Nothing. Fucking nothing.

Honestly, thinking about it all now, it's pretty cringe for Johnny to come to the defense of Sam, when he doesn't even know the whole story. To even imply that I am ungrateful, and demanding is stupid. What's wrong with telling my side of the story? What's wrong with voicing how I feel? The moment that I point out someone is fallible, that makes me the bad guy? No. He's wrong. And stupid. So fucking stupid. How much of a fan boy can you be? I guess his wife really was right in that the guys are only nice to him because he tags them all the time online, and buys all their stuff. What a moron. There's people online that are so quick to call anything parasocial. Everything is a parasocial relationship now-a-days since people on reddit learned what that term was. But what John has in his mind, really is a parasocial relationship with the band. It's absurd! They're regular people, like you and me!

It's so stupid to me. Like, do I have to point out every single thing I do, to prove that I give a fuck about them? Do I have to make a social media post every damn day licking their ass and making sure their gooch is clean? mmm, salty. lol

How many people meet a band once and then claim that they're friends? How many times does a person like John or Gen have to go to one of these shows, buy all these peoples' stuff, in order to gain their "friendship"? Shit, that's parasocial in itself, despite being real life! You don't have to be on the internet to have a parasocial thing, it can be physical too. Face to face in real life. I remember at the last show, seeing Gen ask all the members for their autograph on the poster she bought. I thought to myself, "If these people are your friends, why would you have them sign your stuff?" That was one of the reasons I didn't buy anything, lol. Granted, at the end of the first show, I didn't bring my purse with me in time to the merch table before it was all packed up lol. Still, why would I ask my friend for their autograph, if I wasn't going to sell it on ebay or something like that? It's stupid to me.

I'm over it now. I'm glad that I blogged and exercised. I took a couple anxiety meds to calm down too. I had this anxiousness that could have escalated into a panic attack. I don't want something as lame as this to get to me mentally, you know? John is old, fat, and stupid. I'll outlive him, naturally. So there's nothing to even care about. I'm going to keep doing my own thing, and he can shit and fart about all the dumb shit that he can. It makes no difference to me.

I just hope, my only serious thing, that it doesn't prevent any possibility of giving my number to LB. Before all this, I had the idea to message a friend, to give it to him. Now, I don't know. If I do, I'm going to have to wait some more. Give it some more time. Unless, hopefully, there is going to be another show soon where I can just go do that there. That probably sounds parasocial of me! I swear it's not...my god there was a girl talking to Coleman and I saw that she gave him her number. I wanted to do the same thing for LB! But shy shell me just couldn't do that. Maybe for now, it's for the best.

I've been hoping that maybe, just maybe, he'll reach out to me, and maybe ask for my number. If I end up doing so, I figure that I'll just use the book I gave as an excuse. Like, "Hey, yeah, here's my number. Let me know what you think of the book!" Though my reptile brain tells me he probably wouldn't do that. No guy I've ever given my number to ever does that. Ah!

I hate giving in to internet drama. Yet, at the same time, I don't want to any perceptions, as blatantly erroneous as they may be, to cloud my chances of...anything. So I'm going to leave my post up for a while, then maybe post some things about my channel later. I'm going to cut out the personal stuff. I don't want to put that out anymore. God forbid this happens again, and someone decides to say that all the bad things that happened to me last year were my own fault; or that I deserved it. That's the thing that gave me the most anxiety earlier. I was afraid that John was going to say that in the comments of his post... that perhaps all the things I was sad about were partially my own doing. So far...no. At least, on the website where I can look at the post without logging in...no, he doesn't seem to say that. Though, should I really care? These people don't really know me. If he did, then he wouldn't have gotten offended by what I said.

All I said in my private story was that I have no idea why Sam hadn't talked to me. Not my problem anymore though. I saw some things he did that made me question his character though. But it wasn't my problem. And that's it. I'm keeping it vague because I don't want one of them to find this blog. Though, I doubt they will.

Anyway, if they somehow see this, why would it matter what I think? A real adult would be able to see my thoughts, then move on with their life. What's the point in getting frustrated over what I said? What's the most absurd part to me, is how he didn't even bother to talk to me about it? What's the point of that? You see my post then immediately block me...and then make a call out post of your own talking about how calling out people is wrong. Where is the logic in that?

[ilovejared]

This is where I am with the J2 mess.

I think Jensen was wrong not to tell his best friend/co-lead/boy/brother/person that will always be in my life about the prequel. SPN belongs to Jared and Jensen.

And it's not because I want Jared in the prequel or he would even want to be. It's called common courtesy. Anything SPN related should be decided on by both Js.

Obviously, Eric Kripke thinks the same. His post proves the fact that he believed Jared knew because why wouldn't he?

Jared was not wrong in responding the way he did. He wasn't being an ass. He was understandably hurt. He found out about it on SM so why shouldn't he respond the same way?

Subsequently, after seeing more information coming out yesterday, I believe Daneel had a lot to do with this. I always thought she was a nice person and Jared's friend, but apparently not.

WHY IN THE NAME OF CHUCK IS SHE IN CHARGE OF AN SPN PREQUEL??

The prequel is a stupid idea which I thought the moment I saw the announcement. Teen John and Mary?? If you wanted to do a teen version of SPN, do teen Sam and Dean learning to hunt and growing up with each other, forging that unbreakable bond.

The tweets from Jensen's account yesterday were clearly not him. He generally does not sound like a 14-year-old girl.

I am pissed as fuck at Jensen right now.

I do not think that he faked his relationship with Jared the last 16 years. He's not THAT good of an actor. And there was too much personal time spent together.

I do not think Jared is perfect. But he admits when he's wrong. In this instance, he is not in the wrong.

Jared wears his heart on his sleeve and he loves Jensen. A lot.

We will probably never get the whole story because Jared is handling all of the damage control.

I just want Jared to be okay and I think he would have a major issue if he didn't have Jensen in his life.

I have my own theories about the whys and wherefores of what happened.

I love Jared and only want the best for him.

He deserves the world.

[bisamwilson]

uno reverse star trek aos bc im curious

i love aos with my whole entire heart (to the point that i’ve unfollowed otherwise good trek blogs bc i got tired of seeing so many posts ragging on aos rip). aos got me into trek and i’ll be thankful for it for that forever

like first off the casting is fucking perfect. you can tell all of them love star trek so much. like pegg wrote beyond (which was the most “trek like” of the aos movies imo) and put so many cute little nudges towards the originals in there that i loved. quinto and nimoy were good friends and it was obvious quinto just wanted to do right by nimoy’s legacy. any time i see karl urban as bones i think about that story of how nimoy got teary eyed watching him bc of how much he acted like de. john cho is a badass sulu, anton was a major part of the heart and soul in those movies, and i love just how dedicated zoe saldana is to showing off uhura’s incredible competency.

i haven’t mentioned pine yet, for good reason, and that is because, despite how a lot of trekkies i know feel, i love aos kirk. i love just about everything about who he is as a character. i’d even venture to say i love him more than tos kirk (though i love tos kirk more than life too). pine pours so much life into him as a character. here’s a kirk that’s every bit of the genius he is in tos, but he’s at his youngest, most reckless, most cocky. he’s a twenty something who’s spent his entire life being left behind (by his hero father who follows him everywhere he goes, by his mother who is reminded of her lost love every time she sees him, by his piece of shit uncle, and perhaps most importantly, by sam. we’ll come back to sam later.) he decides it’s easier to throw up a facade, a cocky devil may care attitude supplemented by his pretty blue eyes and his frankly ridiculous aptitude scores, and spends his life pissing people off from the get go so he never has to feel the hurt when they leave.

which brings me back to sam kirk. (this bit gets negative @ jj specifically despite the ask prompt, fair warning.) as both a trekkie and a star wars fan, there are many things i will never forgive jj abrams for, but at the top of that list is deleting the scene where sam leaves jim behind. because that, in my i’ve-spent-way-too-much-time-thinking-about-jim-kirk opinion, is what defines jim, even more so than the dead dad who died on his birthday. that’s the final straw. his big brother, the one who was supposed to be with him no matter what, tells him he’s leaving bc jim’ll be fine. he’s a goody two shoes with perfect grades who always follows orders, but sam’s a kirk. so he can’t stay where his uncle is. up until this point, jim’s done what he’s supposed to do. he listens, he does his chores, he minds, he does well in school. he keeps quiet as much as he can. until his brother leaves and so he decides to steal a car and drive it off a cliff. he decides to become what sam says is a kirk, and fuck the consequences. being good and mindful got him a family who didn’t want him, so he’s gonna be a delinquent instead, bc then at least he doesn’t have to worry about getting left behind again.

and despite whatever womanizer image jj was going for, chris pine got /this/. you can see it written all over his face: the wonder at looking up at the enterprise in the iowa shipyard, the dedication to beat a test to prove people didn’t always have to die, the way he looks so shocked when spock prime treats him with such kindness, tells him how much of a great man he is and will be, that he was such a fantastic captain. even in stid (which isn’t my favorite by a long shot) you can see kirk struggling with his own self worth, see how much he feels like he was just living up to everyone else’s shoddy expectations when he lost his captaincy. see how much he feels like martyring himself is the only way even though he doesn’t want to die, bc if he doesn’t someone else would have to. and his crew means more to him than he does.

most importantly though, we get to see kirk work through it. he relies on bones, to the point that uhura is basically holding him up when it looks like he might die via missile explosion in stid and to the point he trusts bones to just be there on his birthday in beyond. he openly admits to spock in beyond that he wouldn’t know what to do without him (despite never letting himself need anyone at all since sam). he jokes around with uhura, saves sulu. trusts chekov to take care of things when scotty quits. assures scotty he’ll take the blame if things go wrong in beyond. he is close and in sync enough with his crew by beyond that his security on the bridge know exactly when to hand him a phaser when he rushes off. he’s dropped his cocksure attitude and grown into the captain he was always born to be, that spock prime told him he was. for the first time since he was like nine years old, he’s let people in.

and that, more than anything, is why i love aos so much. the cast is wonderful and the storylines are (mostly) entertaining to watch, but more than anything, aos jim’s journey is just so relatable to watch. it’s heartbreaking in its infancy and so incredibly satisfying by its end. tos kirk seemed louder than life to me always, which is maybe why i gravitate to aos jim more. he’s got so much in him that he has to find a way to let out. and he does

[pastorpresent]

Set preseries, with Sam around 17 and Dean 21

--

"I really don't like this."

Dean just rolled his eyes, straightening his tie in the mirror of the motel, ignoring Sam's reflection as the teen sat on the bed with a face like thunder.

"I think it will be fun. I get to boss you around, and you have to listen." Dean grinned, and Sam just continued to scowl.

They were investigating a high school. One that seemed perfectly normal upon first glance, but the string of student deaths that all had vague ritualistic undertones was easy enough to discover if you did some digging.

Sam was still technically high school age. Enrolling him was easy. Forging up teacher certifications for Dean had proved a little harder, but Bobby had managed it and they were all set to go.

"Got your bag ready, kiddo?" Dean asked cheerily, and Sam grabbed his backpack and grumbled a fuck you as he headed for the door.

---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Sam was already so very done with this plan. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if John or Bobby had stepped in to play teacher, but it seemed Dean was enjoying it a bit too much.

Not so much delivering lessons on history that he clearly barely understood himself, but more so in the power the position gave him.

Namely, the power it gave him over Sam.

He kept seeking out reasons to reprimand him. He had been assigned as his form tutor for registration, and had taken great joy in telling Sam to stop swinging on his seat. The call out had made Sam flush red, and he just stilled his movements and avoided Dean's gaze. Even in the hallway, he had called him out in front of everyone for chewing gum, and Sam's only option was to stand there gritting out a 'sorry sir' as Dean smirked smugly at him.

By the time Sam actually had Dean's class, the case was the very last thing on his mind, and he scrambled to a seat at the back of the class and stayed as quiet as he could while Dean introduced himself.

Twenty minutes in and Sam finally let himself relax a little, focusing in on the lesson and scribbling down notes, but it seemed his brother was just waiting for him to let his guard down.

"Sam. Could you stop scribbling on the desk?"

Sam looked up, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at his clear desk.

"I'm not." He said simply, and Dean peered at him over his stupid glasses, arms folded over his chest.

"I saw you. Could you come sit up the front for me so I can keep an eye on you?" Dean said, his tone impatient and stern, and Sam felt his anger flare.

"No."

"No?"

All the eyes on the room were on him now, and Sam willed the blush on his cheeks to die down.

"I wasn't doing anything, so no." Sam repeated, and Dean eyes narrowed.

"Fine. Be like that, I just hope you enjoy detention with me tonight young man." Dean said firmly, and Sam just stared, mouth falling open slightly as he tried to think of a retort.

Except Dean was his teacher, and if he said anything too bad Sam could get into serious trouble. Serious, on his record forever kinda trouble.

He let his mouth snap shut, sitting hunched over his desk in silence until the bell rang.

Everyone began filing out, but Dean made sure to specifically tell him not to do so, and Sam had to deal with the gossip and stares from classmates as they left.

Finally everyone was gone, and Sam was pissed.

"What the fuck, Dean?!" He gritted out, and the older Winchester arched an eyebrow.

"Is that an appropriate way to talk to me, Samuel? And it's Mr Winchester or sir, to you."

Dean made his way over, and it took all of Sam's restraint not to reach over and punch him.

"With all due respect, sir, I haven't done anything wrong. I shouldn't be in detention. I'm only here because you're being an annoying asshole-"

"Language. I have to say, I'm disappointed. I was led to believe you were an exemplary student."

Sam snorted. He was getting really fucking tired of this little game, and he grabbed his bag and got up.

Before he could get to the door, he found himself being pushed up against the desk, and his cheeks began to heat for a whole other reason as Dean pinned him there.

So yeah, maybe Sam hadn't been completely honest about why exactly he hated this plan so much, and maybe he hadn't been completely honestly about some of his previous exploits either.

There was a reason he stopped bitching about frequent school changes. When a professor knows he's only going to be hanging around a few weeks max, they're a lot more likely to go for Sam's propositions.

And sure, a therapist would probably trace it back to his deep rooted need for approval from authority, fostered by his fucked up relationship with his father and messed up upbringing, but that was something Sam tried not to think about too much.

And this specific situation?

A therapist would have a fucking field day.

"Let me go, Dean." He bit out, but his brother still didn't seem ready to drop the little game of cat and mouse, oblivious to Sam's dick twitching in his jeans.

"You're misbehaving, Sammy. I ought to get this put on your record."

Dean's lips were quirked into a smirk, an aura of challenge surrounding him as he kept Sam pinned there with his hands resting on the desk on either side of him.

Sam swallowed.

"Cut it out, Dean."

"Why?" Dean pushed. Always fucking pushing, and Sam kept his lips firmly sealed.

When Dean realised he wasn't getting a rise out if him, though, he only continued.

"Why, Sammy? Not used to getting disciplined? You're normally the little teachers pet, maybe you just need to start obeying me like a good little puppy dog-"

Sam slammed their lips together before Dean could finish, effectively cutting him off.

His hands were travelling up Dean's stupid tweed jacket, yanking for his tie to pull him closer. Dean responded to his mouth eagerly, chasing his lips and lifting Sam slightly to slide him onto the desk.

When they had to part for the sake of oxygen, Dean's pupils were blown.

"Jesus Sam, you kinky fucking bitch."

Sam scowled, wrapping his fingers tight around Dean's tie.

"Yeah, yeah. Says the guy who unironically bought a fucking bdsm magazine the other day."

Dean just shrugged, smirking as he ran a hand over Sam's thigh.

"I'll fulfill your weird little teacher fantasy if you let me tie your hands together while I fuck you."

It was a no brainer, really.

"Deal."

[abarbaricyalp]

Idk if you are still taking prompts, but you know the vine two dudes chilling in a hot tub 5 feet apart cause they're not gay, and a girl quoting it in a park about two girls in the distance and one of them hearing and going "Actually I am gay" Like that scenario, only involving them fixing the boat? Maybe Sarah quoting it to give Sam shit when she thinks Bucky cant hear and Bucky goes "Wait, no I'm gay" or something, or just the general gist of that. Sorry if this us too specific, I've never sent anyone a prompt before :P

Hello Friend! Thank you so much for sending anything in at all! I know the vine you're talking about, but I couldn't find it on Youtube. (I did find a two day rabbit hole of old compilations though) This was also my first foray into writing Sarah as a fully fleshed character! I was excited to get the practice 'cause I had an idea bouncing around in my head about her and Bucky talking after he wakes up in the Wilson house. I kept her a little more like she had been in my other fics pre-show here. I so wish we got a little more of her!

Feel free, anyone, to send me Sambucky prompts!

The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation

Sarah Wilson loved her brother deeply. The kind of soul crushing love that could only be formed through family, loss, and approximately four thousand brawls around the living room throughout their life. She looked up to her brother more than she could ever imagine looking up to anyone. Even when they were fighting or picking on each other, she couldn’t help but feel a swell in her chest when he came into her line of sight.

That didn’t mean she understood him. In fact, from the age of eight, watching her brother interact with the world had become her go-to pastime. Why did he have to roll every pea around the plate individually before eating them? Why did he and his friends spend seven years socking each other in the arm to prove friendship? Why did he talk to himself in the mirror, even when he knew Sarah or someone else was standing in the doorway?

Sam Wilson was just deeply weird. She had no idea how he had tricked the Avengers, a plethora of bad guys, and half of the media world into thinking he was remotely cool. She saw a news story once that had King T’Challa standing on a platform with Sam and the newscasters talked about how impressive Sam’s suit was. It was unnatural, the effect he had on people.

And in all her years, she never thought she’d see anyone weirder than Sam. But then James Barnes had showed up. It was like a complete reversal of Sam. Sarah was taken in for approximately three hours by his charm and face before she realized he too was deeply, deeply weird.

She justified sitting on the edge of the Paul and Darlene, watching her brother and James Barnes spar off about some dumb trivia fact, by deciding it was an anthropological expedition. The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation. She watched Sam watch Barnes take a long pull off his beer. She watched Barnes kick his feet up near Sam’s legs and then draw them back quickly when a current jolted the boat. She watched Barnes’ fingers tap-tap-tap against the edge of the boat, inching closer to Sam’s shoulder before he chickened out and brought his hand back to his own lap. She watched Sam suggest Bucky take his jacket off, ‘unless you plan on sun blinding me with the robocop arm.’ She watched Sam look away when Barnes did shrug his jacket off.

When she was seventeen and Sam was fifteen, she had found Sam crying in his room, pillow pressed to his face to muffle the noise. They were at the age where going into each other’s rooms uninvited started international conflicts, but Sarah, who watched her brother intently, felt like she knew what was going on. So she let herself in through their Jack-and-Jill bathroom and shut the door behind her.

Sam didn’t stop crying, not even to yell at her to get out, so she sat on the end of his bed and rolled a baseball under her foot for a while. Finally, she’d said, “You don’t have to tell Mom and Dad, y’know.”

Sam had just about wailed and bit the corner of his pillow to stop himself.

“That’s gross, stop it,” Sarah ordered and pushed Sam’s shoulder back enough to yank his pillow free and then reached over to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I should make you do the laundry this week so I know I’m not touching your snot germs,” she teased softly.

“How did you know?” Sam hiccuped out. Tears were still brimming at his eyes, but they didn’t fall.

“I’m your older sister. I made you. Like a doll. You think there’s something about you that I don’t know?” she joked. And when the tears did spill over his long lashes, she sighed and pulled him closer to her side. “I just know the way you interact with that boy from the basketball team ain’t just friendly.”

“Jesus, do you think he can tell?” Sam asked and she could hear the mortification in his voice.

“Sam, he’s a freshman in high school. The only thing he knows is that he’s scared of everything too. No one’s paying that much attention to you.”

“Screw you,” Sam muttered.

“What’re all these tears for you if you didn’t make a move and get shot down?”

“God, Sarah, can you not say things like that?”

“Watch your mouth,” Sarah warned with no heat in her voice. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong. I’m not leaving until you do.”

“I just…” Sam sat up and worked his jaw for a while. His chin dimpled and his eyes watered but he managed to control himself. “I’m scared, Sarah. I’m scared of never being in love. Of having to leave if I am. I’m scared to say something and I’m scared not to say something. I’m so scared of...losing any of it.”

“Sam,” Sarah sighed and pulled Sam into another hug. “You’re fifteen. You’re not supposed to be in love yet. You don’t have to think about any of that. You just have to focus on passing Geometry, alright? Mom’ll whoop your ass more for failing than anything else.”

“I have a B+, that’s not failing!” Sam snapped. He kept his face against her shoulder for a second long before he sat up and wiped his tears away. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Who am I gonna tell? I told you, my friends don’t like you as much as you think they do.”

“Your friends like me more than they like you,” Sam shot back and he almost sounded normal.

Sarah smiled softly and patted Sam’s cheek. “I won’t tell Mom or Dad. Of course not. That’s for you to do. But--”

“I’m always going to tell them when you sneak out the window.”

“No! Sam! You can’t! You owe me now!”

“Going to field parties is not the same thing!” Sam said in a shriek as Sarah leaned over to pinch his sides. They grappled for a second before Sam managed to push Sarah off the bed.

“You owe me,” she reminded him as she walked back to the bathroom.

Sam wiped his eyes again and nodded. “Sure, Sarah. I do.”

Sam almost had the same look on his face now. Like there was something he wanted to reach for that he thought was too impossible to hold. The Older Sister Instinct to Antagonize into a Solution kicked in.

“Two bros, chilling on a boat, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay,” she sing-songed. Sam looked mortified again but masked his face into something more irritated with a roll of his eyes when Barnes looked over at him.

“Ignore her. It’s this old video--” Sam started.

But Bucky interrupted to say, “Actually I am gay,” as he looked back over at Sarah. “Sorry if I got your hopes up,” he added with a grin that really did get the hopes up.

“What?” Sam asked and Sarah, ever watchful, could see the beer bottle shaking in his hand.

“What?” Bucky repeated innocently.

“He said he’s gay,” Sarah clarified.

“Thank you, Sarah,” Sam ground out. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Bucky snorted. “When would I have said anything? ‘Sorry for ripping your wings off and kicking you off of a hellicarrier, by the way I’m gay.’?”

“You did what?” Sarah asked.

“‘Sorry for claiming I didn’t bomb the UN only to be reverted back to the assassin who would have done that and then fighting you again. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Thanks for saving my life. Sorry about the giant undersea prison. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘There’s an imminent battle with weird ass space dogs that want to eat our faces. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Sorry about Tony Stark, whose life I kind of ruined. Lovely funeral. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘I’m in the middle of being pissed at you about the Shield. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Maybe don’t take me rolling through a field of flowers. It does things to me ‘cause I’m gay.’ ‘John Walker’s fucking insane. I’m gay, but definitely not for this bullshit.’ I mean, come on, Sam.”

“Flowers?” Sarah asked.

“Besides, why would you care? I don’t make it a habit of telling straight guys I’m into guys.”

“You don’t seem to make a habit of telling many people that,” Sarah pointed out. “I googled you. Nothing suggesting that came up.”

Bucky shrugged. “I’m a guy from the 30s. It was trained out of me.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sarah said quickly. “Back up away from that because we’re not gonna try to Oppression Olympics our way through our histories. Did you just say Sam was straight?”

“Sarah!” Sam hissed.

“Sure. I mean, I saw him with Romanov. Hill. He has Tinder on his phone.”

“Samuel Thomas, you better not,” Sarah warned lightly. “You’re better than that.”

“He’s a lady-killer.”

Sarah snorted and had to bring her hand up to her face. “He definitely is not. There has been no lady-killing on his end for a long time.”

“Sarah!” Sam tried again.

“You explain it to him then. Mr. 30s is gonna need the long way round explanation.”

Sam sighed and dragged his hand over his face. “Dammit. Fine. I’m not straight either, alright? I’m...bi, or something. It’s been a while since I’ve had to think about it.”

“What?” Bucky asked, not unlike Sam had.

“He said he’s bisexual. Interested in both parties. Swings either way. Hit a homerun and then hasn’t really swung since.”

“Sarah, Jesus Christ,” Sam groaned.

“What?” Bucky asked again.

“I was engaged. To a man,” Sam said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky asked, clearly missing the irony.

“Oh, it was inconvenient for you but I had plenty of opportunities, huh?” Sam asked. “Ms. Tell-It-All over there wasn’t joking. I haven’t swung any direction in a while. Not since before I met Steve. My fiance died. And then it never came up.”

Bucky blinked at Sam. He kept bringing the bottle halfway up his body and then setting it back on his leg without ever taking a drink. “Fuck, Sam, I’m sorry,” Bucky said, which was not what Sarah was expecting and it clearly wasn’t what Sam was expecting because Sam finally moved closer to Bucky on the bench.

“What for? You didn’t do anything. This time.”

“Yeah, but if I’d known you were into me too, I woulda kissed you in Germany.”

“Oh, I am so not into you,” Sam denied. “And I wouldn’t have our first kiss ruined by immediately running into the government’s roving show monkey.”

“That’s the worst,” Bucky agreed and also finally moved over on the bench until they were pressed thigh to thigh. “Tell me how much you don’t like me again,” he challenged.

“I can’t stand you,” Sam answered and brought his hand up to Bucky’s jaw.

Sarah couldn’t fight down the grin that came to her face and turned to prop her feet on the pier, back to Sam and Bucky. Just this once, she didn’t need to watch her brother to understand him.

Read on AO3 here!

[masterthespianduchovny]

Let me put my clown make up on:

Just in case TL disappoints me, I’ll be prepared. 🤡

I’m not going to lie, this most likely won’t be my last post about Sam x Rebecca, but as of now, maybe the last major conversation I have about it for a while (whatever that means) unless the series does something to make me really happy or piss me off.

Some may think my issue with Sam x Rebecca is because of Ted x Rebecca and that couldn’t be furtherest from the truth. Age gaps, power imbalances, and the consequences of these things—that’s shit I talk about in my everyday life.

I thought John was going to be around way longer and I had no issue with him. I don’t know if Ted and Sassy will be fuck buddies, date, or just have a friendship, but them dating wouldn’t bother me.

There are very real issues with this pairing that the series hasn’t adequately handled and I’m hoping with all hope that they do by the time the season ends. Because they are good and smart writers. And maybe my frustration are with those who use this allegedly inappropriate handling on Sam x Rebecca to prove their is nothing wrong with this ship if the both of them are mature about it. And that’s like…the least of their issues.

People can ship whatever they like, I’m more concerned with how the series frames this entire thing when the arc is fully resolved. Smart and clever writers have failed many before. And it isn’t as if shows haven’t portrayed inappropriate relationships as okay.

I’m more inclined to believe that they do handle this arc appropriately because why have Keeley say John is age appropriate? (Which makes her support of the Sam thing weird.) why have Rebecca bring up Sam’s age to never touch on it again? Why have Sam and Rebecca stand on opposite sides of how their relationship should be handled?

There is that Bill Lawrence remark about how he finds it all “worrisome” and I don’t know if that should be taken with a grain of salt or not.

So…we. will. see.

Now there are some probably saying, “it’s just a show!!!”

To which I say, “that’s a load full of crap.”

People can ship whatever the fuck they want and write whatever the fuck they please, but tv (as well as other forms of media) is incredibly influential. You have many people who learned to accept who they are because of a tv show or that they weren’t alone. You have people shed their ignorance because of how a show handled certain topics and characters.

This show is applauded on how it handles mental health and many have flat out said it’s help them understand that they needed help and some have reached out and gotten it. They have good/great female friendships. Rebecca is handled with nuance and not demonized. The way they deal with masculinity and kindness is also applauded.

And none of these things are dismissed with “it’s just a show.”

We realize the importance of these things.

It’s the same reason this show is criticized for the lack of blatant LBGTQ characters or how some are concerned about how the POC characters are treated.

These things matter.

If it’s just a show, why do people hate Rupert for being abusive to Rebecca or that he intentionally pursues younger women?

It’s just a show, right?

Why care about these things if they’re fictional?

We can’t applaud a show for one thing, and then be dismissive of other things since it’s not a personal concern. That’s some extreme inconsistency there.

So just because Rebecca x Sam is fictional doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be handled appropriately. That doesn’t mean ignore the very real problems and concerns that would plague them. I’m not saying the writers are doing that. I don’t know. However, there are viewers treating it like it’s no big deal and those who’ve reacted negatively to the storyline are overreacting and that’s concerning.

Because, regardless of age, if someone believes that a significantly younger person (18-23) dating a significantly older person is NBD if both are mature, that’s a fucking red flag and you should be cautious of them on the subject.

People thinking that as long as Rebecca doesn’t abuse her power, it’s okay that she has a gross amount of control over Sam’s career, is concerning.

People who said this relationship had a fucked up power imbalance from multiple angles were implied to be or flat out called racist. Yet there is no concern about the racism that Sam will likely endure from the media, fans, etc within the show? Because even recently, we’ve seen and heard football fans be racist to black people over minor and trivial things.

It’s not enough that they like each other, have chemistry, and are mature. The show needs to actually acknowledge and discuss those massive issues. Not brushed under the rug or love conquers all bs.

I truly hope the series proves me wrong and I’m overreacting rather than being proven right and majorly disappointed. And right doesn’t mean they end up together, it means that the series poorly handles the end of this arc.

[igcttabe]

❝   hey stop— stop!  look at me.  he’s dead now.  you can stop.  ❞

OH, HE WAS FUCKED. well, and truly fucked. it didn’t take a million dollars to guess who was dead and what john was telling him he could stop? well, that seemed OBVIOUS too. richie hadn’t even had the chance to PROGRESS in the task that will had asked him to do. maybe, that was a good thing -- maybe it wouldn’t fucking matter seeing as who he had HELPED kill. well, if he’d killed him he would have taken the credit but he hadn’t been any part of that... and just fuck, fuck, fuck. “like how you and mr happy to blow my fucking brains out waiting out there stopped?” presuming hoffman was lurking like the rat he was. looks, like they’d really stopped and no richie wasn’t going to cry over will’s death but still... richie should have gotten out of the kramer’s house whilst he had the chance but the BIGGEST part of him hadn’t wanted to go. the second will hadn’t returned his calls he should have made his exit and now... here he was. karma could go fuck itself -- he’d already had his taste of KARMA and he had twenty scars on his body to prove it. “not that i want to piss all over your ending here. i know how that much sucks but can we speed this along to the part where i join him and get it the fuck over with?” was he scared? OH, MAYBE A LITTLE. it wasn’t exciting, not like with sam... until, it had all gone wrong. @bcssbitchs​

[wincestismyguiltypleasure]

Warnings: Weecest, a little angsty, jealous!Sam, bratty, emotional, and confused baby brother content, feminization, name calling, humiliation, sadist!Dean, spankings, and of course, that sweet, sweet fucked up codependency. 💋

--------------

Sam just wanted Dean's attention. He always had.

And when he didn't get it, Sam felt not only emotionally, but physically injured by his brother's "neglect." Like Dean had taken his switchblade to Sam's heart, cutting it open just a little bit to play with it. As if he was curious to what was inside. Like Dean had no clue know that every vein, artery, and nerve worked in unison for him.

And over the years, that small wound had ripped open wider and wider on it's own, even though it was no secret that Dean's life had always revolved around Sam.

Perhaps it was a product of Sam's jealousy? His resentment towards John and the unshakable devotion Dean showed him?

Sam didn't really know. But no matter the cause, what was once a dull ache in Sam's chest was now a blinding pain. The only hope of soothing it resting solely on his big brother's touch.

And the worst part about it? Dean knew. He knew Sam was desperate for something so simple as a sideways glance or a pat on the back. Sam would poke and prod and tug at the hem of Dean's shirt for just the slightest bit of recognition, like he really didn't know that he was already the very center of his big brother's entire world.

It was infuriating sometimes, and it made Dean want to be cruel just to prove a point. Besides, at the end of the day, Dean was still Sam's big brother. Ignoring him was part of Dean's job description. And maybe, just maybe, Dean got a sick sense of satisfaction out of making Sammy beg like a slut for something that was already his.

"Dean, c'mon! Pay attention!"

John had only been gone for ten minutes before Sam was shaking Dean's leg violently, trying to make his brother look up from the magazine he was reading.

"Jesus Christ, Sam. Can't you leave me alone for five fucking seconds?"

Dean doesn't have to see Sam's face to know the younger boy is pouting; the corner of his lips turning up in a twisted smirk at the thought of his little brother's pretty eyes starting to water.

There's no answer to Dean's question, just a loud huff and the sound of the bathroom door slamming, rusty screws barely keeping it on the hinges.

And if Dean didn't get such a kick out of being an asshole to his needy little brother he might have felt bad for hurting Sam's feelings. But he doesn't, mainly because this was all part of the sick, fucked up game they'd been playing since Sam had turned sixteen. This volatile give and take, back and forth, born out of Sam's misguided pain. The younger boy thinking that Dean loved John more than him and Dean's cutthroat determination to prove his little brother wrong. To show Sam that even if he isn't looking, he's still paying attention. And that he couldn't stop paying attention to Sam even if he tried.

Honestly, Dean still gets a little hot under the collar thinking about the first Sammy pushed his buttons like this. He'd been both mortified and so disgustingly turned on when he found out that his sweet baby brother knew just how to act bratty and coy to get fucked through the mattress. God, Dean was so pissed and guilty about it at the time that he'd almost thrown up afterwards.

Even now, Dean feels kinda queasy. But the feeling is so simple to ignore this go around because he's also rock hard and shaking a little from the anticipation.

Oh, and of course, Sam makes him wait. Almost two fucking hours. Tiny beads of water still dripping from the younger boy's long, dirty blonde hair when Sam finally emerges from the bathroom wearing nothing but a pair of lacy blue panties and a triumphant smile.

"Seriously, Samuel?" Dean asks, trying his best to keep his voice steady as he tosses his magazine to the side and sits up.

But Sam, being the shameless little tease that he is, just grins wider and does a slow turn. Making sure to show off every sharp curve and flawless inch of sun kissed skin he had before looking over at Dean and giggling.

"Think you can ignore me now, big brother?"

Sam barely gets the words out before Dean is off the bed, marching over to him with purpose, not stopping until the two of them are only a few inches apart and his baby brother's eyes are wide with fear.

"What do you want, Sam?" The older boy asks through gritted teeth, even though the answer is so painfully obvious.

And even though it is, Sam can't say it. He's never been able to because it's Dean's job to know. Without Dean guiding the way, Sam's just a confused kid with a need so intense and overwhelming that it could swallow him whole. And it would, if it wasn't for Dean.

Dean knows what Sam wants, and Sam hates the fact that he doesn't hate his brother for making him feel this way.

But still, he can't talk and he can't explain, so instead Sam just whines. Taking a timid step forward into his brother's personal space, searching for pity with those big innocent doe eyes. And fuck, does that do the trick. Every. Single. Time.

"What, baby?" Dean asks again, this time softer, his expression lightening as he grabs Sam by the wrist to pull him closer.

"Dean."

Sam's knees feel wobbly. His heart threatening to pound out of his chest because there's nothing in the world more intoxicating and simultaneously terrifying than looking into Dean's gorgeous green eyes when they're full of rage and passion.

"You want this?" Dean's voice is rough, like cigarette smoke blown over shattered glass as he guides Sam's trembling hand between his thighs. Pressing his little brother's warm palm hard against his erection before he makes Sam squeeze just a little, the both of them letting out a breathy groan.

"Please Dean," Sam whimpers, knees nearly buckling when Dean leans forward with a filthy grin, cherry red lips ghosting lightly over Sam's. The older boy teasing him like he always did. Pretending like wasn't eventually going to give Sam everything he wanted and more.

"Say it."

Sam's stomach clenches at the command, throat going dry because he hates this part. (Or at least Sam pretends that he does.)

"I want..." Sam groans, eyes closed tight as Dean nuzzles against him, making Sam go crazy with need. "I want your cock. Please Dean."

When Sam hears Dean chuckle, a low, filthy sound that makes his insides feel unbearably hot, Sam almost starts crying again. He's so naive and inexperienced compared to Dean. And Dean knows Sam feels like an idiot when his big brother makes him talk dirty. Which is exactly why he does it. The bastard.

"I know you do, baby boy," Dean laughs as he takes a step back, and Sam swears he feels his heart detach and drop into his stomach. Long, bony fingers instinctively trying to curl around Dean's shirt but to no avail.

"Dean-"

Sam's temper tantrum is cut short when Dean sits down on the foot of the bed and raises a hand, the look on his face calm but dangerous and it makes Sam almost swallow his own tongue.

"C'mere and lay across my lap."

"Why should I?"

Sam's voice doesn't sound like his own when he challenges his brother. It's weak and breathless and honestly, Sam can't believe an apex predator like Dean didn't go for his throat right then and there.

"You've been buckin' for my attention all day, sweetheart. You got a better way to get it?"

God, Sam wishes he did because the last thing he wants is to give in so easily. But what Sam's been dying for is right here in front of him now. Ripped jeans wrapped tight around thick thighs that he'd sell his soul to be bent over and Sam isn't about to turn down an open invitation.

"Gotta hand it to you, little brother," Dean says when Sam's finally stretched out across his lap. Sam's pretty face, flushed and tear stained, hidden in the mattress as Dean starts to soflty rub circles against his ass. "Despite all that fuss, you really are an obdient little bitch."

"Fuc-"

Sam nearly gags on his insult when he feels Dean's palm, rough and warm, connect with his right ass cheek. The blow hard enough to make his whole body jerk, tears of frustration rather than pain starting to blur his vision as he squirms in Dean's lap.

"Dean, please," Sam begs, his tight panties completely soaked through as he rubs himself desperately against Dean's thigh. His cock so hard and swollen that he feels a little dizzy, pleasure and pain fighting for dominance in his mind. Every one of his nerve endings on fire as Dean continues his ruthless assault. Each gentle touch followed by a thunderous smack that Sam swears makes his teeth rattle.

"Hey, don't cry, baby boy," Dean whispers when one of his rough blows finally rips a sob from Sam's throat. "This is what you wanted right? My undivided attention?"

Sam chokes back the urge to tell Dean that he hates him. One, because he doesn't. They both know that. And two, because if Sam doesn't swallow his pride soon and play by Dean's rules, he knows he'll never get want he really wants. That's what all this is about after all. Sam's insatiable need and Dean's absolute willingness to provide.

"C'mon, Sammy. You're a smart kid, you know what your answer should be."

Sam's only response is a loud, wanton groan, his knuckles turning chalk white around the blanket beneath him when he feels the tip of Dean's finger, rough and slick with spit, tease his rim. Pressing just hard enough to make Sam's hips jerk, but not applying quite enough pressure to slip inside him.

"Yes," Sam croaks, daring to push back against his brother's finger only to be rewarded with a smack to his right ass cheek that makes him see stars. "This is what I wanted."

"I know it is, slut."

Dean's finger feels wetter this time, hotter. And Sam's not expecting his brother to push in so deep, his eyes rolling back in pleasure when Dean barely grazes his prostate, clearly torturing Sam for all the shit he'd put him through that day. An eye for an eye was most definitely the Winchester way.

"You want me to finger fuck this tight little pussy until you make a mess all over your cute panties, don't ya baby boy?"

"Yes! Fuck Dean please." Sam isn't even trying to hold back his sobs now, big salty tears rolling down his cheeks as he wiggles around in Dean's lap. Desperate for his big brother to fuck him deeper. But before he can get the leverage he needs, Sam's empty again, mouth hanging open as Dean's next blow makes his whole body rock forward involuntary, neglected cock throbbing painfully against the worn denim of his brother's jeans.

"I'll give you want you want, Sammy," Dean coos, caressing Sam's battered skin with his palm. "I always do. But first, I'm gonna teach you a lesson about acting like a brat."

Of course, Sam's been taught this lesson before and it hasn't seemed to stick. But it doesn't matter, because they both know as long as Sam craves his big brother's attention, Dean will gladly put him in his place give it to him.

[ratingtheframe]

I Care A Lot, Malcolm & Marie, Capone, The Life Ahead and the News of the World: Everything I watched in February.

Newsflash ! The cinemas still aren’t open and I’m starting to lose hope in them ever opening. Despite the UK government drawing a step by step guide into lifting the UK out of lockdown (like its flat pack furniture and not a critical pandemic) with cinemas due to open in April, I wouldn’t hold my breath seeing as our own human biology and its resistance is the actual measure of when it is safe to go out and about, not what our government says. So until everyone is vaccinated and has sustained the first few months of vaccination symptom free, I’m having to sift through Netflix and Amazon for something to watch, like I’m looking through a charity shop sale; without much luck. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for these streaming services, I (my dad) pay for them for Christ’s sakes and I know that one day I’ll be eating my words when I’m offered a Netflix deal that I (in a Vito Corleone voice) “cannot refuse”. However, unlike some of the creators on Netflix, I’ll make the most of this opportunity and be incredibly anal about what I want to make, even if it kills me. 

I feel like so many people are given the license to make whatever they want for Netflix and then I look at the trophy wall of Emmys that HBO has garnered over the years and consider their quality writers and casts. I would say most recently, shows like The Crown, Sex Education, Top Boy and Bridgerton are Netflix’s exceptions currently, being both of quality and giving us something we actually want to watch. And guess what all these shows have in common?! Not only are all the casts largely British but all productions of these shows are British too. The British quality of TV programmes for streaming services in the US is a win win for all; Americans get to watch our good quality TV and we get Golden Globes. Most notably, The Crown did exceptionally (as it always does) at this year’s Golden Globes, further proving the show's excellence despite controversy. I thoroughly praise Netflix's resistance to label the show “fiction” and the lengths it took in making the show as authentically as possible, despite the criticism. The awards speak for themselves and the Crown has scooped up several this year so far. 

To conclude, I want the cinemas to open just as much as anyone, but I’m happy to comply with the stay-at-home-and-watch-Netflix-rule for now. For now...Here’s everything I watched this February.

Annihilation (2018) as seen on Netflix

Netflix’s Annihilation starring Natalie Portman, Jennifer Jason Lee, Gina Rodriguez, Tessa Thompson and Oscar Issac was a multitude of things that were difficult to comprehend. This is not me saying this is a bad film, in fact its me saying the complete opposite as the complexity drew a tangible beauty to the film from beginning to end. I reeeaaalllyyy liked the beginning and how the first scene sucked you into the crazy and fanatical story that later unfolded. Natalie Portman as always was wonderful in this role, playing a biologist who enters another world in search of her husband, who’s gone missing on a similar expedition to hers. Like with most sci fi films, it was difficult to gather the meaning of such a film, however this lack of meaning didn’t draw away from the story or how it was portrayed, in slow and enigmatic shots that told the story with a natural pace. If you’ve seen / liked Ex Machina (2014), Annihilation has the same director and I would thoroughly recommend you watch this too as the way Alex Garland merges sci fi with horror is incredibly seamless.

Score: 10/10

Eastern Promises (2007)  as seen on Amazon Prime 

This film starring Naomi Watts, Viggo Mortensen and Vincent Cassel was incredibly dark and gritty. Even though I’m not Russian, I found Mortensen and Cassel’s Russian personas to be rather good for a Dane and a Frenchman. Their on screen chemistry was also really good and its make me wonder why I haven’t seen a film with these two in it before. The story follows Anna (Naomi Watts) a nurse and her hunt for the true identity and life of a baby that was born to a 14 year old girl. Nikolai and Kirill (Mortensen and Cassel) are Russian gangsters living in London and set about covering up this obscene scandal and getting rid of the product of it, a baby girl belonging to the condemned and now deceased child. It's a difficult plot to wrap your head around and like I said, it's incredibly dark. Actor and director David Cronenberg (A History of Violence 2005) directed this film and helped Viggo Mortensen with a nomination for Best Actor at the 2008 Academy Awards. 

Score: 8/10

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) as seen on Netflix

So remember how I said I was DESPERATE for films this month...I watched Fifty Shades of Grey with zero expectations and I can say definitively that it was worse than I thought. It's a true miracle that both Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan still have careers 6 years after such a film was released and I personally wouldn’t rush to cast either acting in my film after seeing this. Harsh, I know but reputation is everything and when you sign onto something that instead of highlighting your acting abilities, highlights your body parts, what am I supposed to think... I’m all for body confidence and what not, but I feel like most of this film sort of abuses sexuality and sexual expressions. The fact is, the BDSM part of this film wasn’t even that bad, it was the characters that pissed me off the most and their LACK of character in fact. They were orchestrated in such a flat way and the only time where either one of them found any character was through the sex itself and the discussion of it, especially Anastasia’s character. The most profound and irritating thing about this film is that Anastasia’s life seemed to only have meaning when she met the so called handsome, charming, wonderful, drop dead gorgeous Christian Grey. What does that teach us about women people? I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, sexualising women in film and media shouldn’t be the only reason for them to be there. And the entirety of Fifty Shades of Grey is built upon that fact. Even though the novel was written by a woman, it definitely missed the point in giving us a strong female character who could both be into sex and taken seriously at the same time. Seems like a really hard thing to do in cinema as filmmakers either go for the over-hyped sexualised prostitute, the caring mother or the nun. Like female professionals have never had sex in their lives… think again. I like to wonder what it would’ve been like had it been Ms Grey and Christian as her submissive. Not only would that mix up the character dynamic and go against gender confirmation, it’d actually be interesting. But maybe I should just write that story altogether...To conclude, the characters in this film were flat and the entirety of the film hyped up sex and the act of it way too much. It's like making a film about walking or breathing. 

Score: 1/10

Malcolm & Marie (2021) as seen on Netflix

Malcolm & Marie received a lot of attention in the media and sadly not for the right reasons. In fact, what’s so childish about the backlash is that hardly any of it had to do with the filmmaking techniques Sam Levinson (Euphoria’s creator) used or the story he wrote. More of it had to do with Levinson’s controversial ideas about how the media likes to view and prod film like a goldfish in a bowl, acting ostentatiously towards the art and appearing woke as opposed to just seeing film for how it is. I gather many film critic’s egos were bruised when Levinson used the lead character, Malcolm (John David Washington) as a butcher to film critics. He says things like “I’m choosing to make a film that’s fundamentally political, but not everything I do is political because I’m Black” in reference to the ignorance of some film critics who stamp politics onto any black directed film, attempting to brand the films with their own understanding of the film as opposed to its real message and story. Malcolm spends the majority of the night loathing a fictional “white LA reporter” and betting on her exact words for his own film, about an African American woman trying to get off drugs. What he says is funny, so funny it's true. White reporters DO do this and instead of embracing Levinson’s satricalism, the real LA white reporters of our media got overly offended and used the “lack of story” card as a backdrop to fuel their distaste at being called out. Had they known Levinson’s intentions with this film, they wouldn’t have reviewed it all together as I’m sure Levinson knew what he was getting himself into when mentioning the annoying “white LA reporter” and making the stereotype central to the lead's frustrations towards the industry. Levinson also graciously mentions that even though Malcolm has such hatred towards the critics, he is their fuel and by making his so-called “art” he only joins them in the argument . Levinson made his bed when he made the film and I think he’s sleeping rather comfortably. No one even bothered to praise both Zendaya’s and Washington’s performances, which were phenomenal considering the circumstances and the added pressure of having to carry a whole story in one room using only each other to fulfil that story. The cinematography was ambitious and overall, it was a simple yet well executed story. What are y’all complaining about? 

Let's put egos aside and focus on the actual film for once, rather than how its perceived the articulation of your opinions towards it. 

Score: 10/10

Coming to America (1988) as seen on Amazon Prime

At this moment I truly was becoming a slave to streaming services. I wasn’t particularly leaping at the opportunity to watch this film, however I chose to watch it as I heard that Eddie Murphy was releasing a sequel this year. As someone who doesn’t like comedy, I found this rather funny in places but it's hard to laugh at the black stereotypes portrayed in such a film even when those stereotypes were perpetuated by a black person. There was also a lot of misogyny, something else that I don’t call comedy but just misogyny. I found it hard overlook these moments and kinda saw this element as the downfall to the film which detracted from any of the other comedic moments.

Score: 5/10

Do the Right Thing (1989) as seen on Amazon Prime

One of Spike Lee’s earlier films, Do The Right Thing is a film I’ve been dying to watch for quite some time. The film is like a fascinating book, with chapters on each of the plights of living in Brooklyn in the 1980s. Though it takes one character’s perspective, there are a multitude of other stories that can be found in this film, with them interlinking seamlessly and coming together at the end. This isn’t a film about race but rather one about anger and its potential to divide people, especially when things become heated and fingers are pointed. It covered a variety of perspectives which I like, almost like an episodic series where each episode is different and takes on a different character. This structure added variety to the film and allowed it to cover a multitude of topics in a small space of time. The structure of this film was only successful because its characters, who were funny, three dimensional and above all, had something to say. Director and writer Spike Lee played Mookie, the lead, a pizza delivery man and quite the f**k up on the streets of Brooklyn, using his mouth more than his actions to get by in life. I really liked the balance of moments of comedy and severity which had me laughing in places and immediately stopping afterwards. Well written and I commend Spike Lee for having written, directed and starred in the same film.

Score: 10/10

The Life Ahead (2020) as seen on Netflix

As an actress, Sophia Loren is one of my all time favourites. On seeing films such as A Special Day (1977) Two Women (1960) Marriage, Italian Style (1964), I began to appreciate the work of Sophia Loren and notice how much of an icon she still is today. Having picked up several awards over an expansive 71 YEAR career, she has been honoured many a time by the Golden Globes and Oscars as one of the finest actresses of all time. Her presence on screen is inspiring and she’s been often referred to as the Italian Marilyn Monroe for her beauty inside and out. Here at the age of 86, she plays a Holocaust survivor and foster mother who cares for a troubled boy in The Life Ahead. Loren’s character, Madame Rosa, eventually saving him from a miserable life thieving and selling drugs on the streets of Italian. Loren’s son, Edoardo Ponti directed this film for Netflix and was generous enough to give us Sophia Loren’s presence on screen once more by casting her in the film as the lead.

Score: 9/10

Gold (2016) as seen on Amazon Prime

I found Gold to be one of those talky, talky films that starts at the end and ends at the end (if that makes sense) which in my opinion isn’t the most courageous structure one could use, but is common in biopics. It either starts on the protagonist’s death bed or at the point where the police have just caught them and for Gold it was the latter. The appearance of women in this film was second to none and that’s not me saying the director should’ve added female characters for good measure or token but why make a film that only appeals to one demographic, despite the intensity of the story...film is universal after all and if a film appeals to one certain group then what’s the point of releasing it? This doesn’t detract from Matthew McConaughey’s performance though as a “prospector” looking for gold in Indonesia. Even saying this, the character was very typical of him and it didn’t truly stretch his ability as an actor, not like Dallas Buyer’s Club (2013), Killer Joe (2011) or Interstellar (2014) did. To sum up Gold into one word it’d be “meh”.

Score: 7/10

Creed (2015) as seen on Amazon Prime

This was one of the most surprising films of the month. I’m not crazy about the Rocky films nor see myself watching all of them anytime soon, but Creed appealed as a more modern take on the hit franchise. Michael B Jordan plays Adonis Creed, son of Apollo Creed, a champion boxer who died during a fight before Adonis was born. After being adopted by Apollo’s wife, Adonis Creed sets out to follow his father’s footsteps by becoming a champion heavyweight boxer himself, much to his maternal mother’s displeasure and his coach’s the one and only Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone). The story is similar to that of Rocky and if anything, is a complete revival, using the son of one of Rocky’s former fighter as a backdrop to tell the story. Director Ryan Coogler (Black Panther 2018, Fruitvale Station 2013 ) brought this story to life and a courageous performance out of Michael B. Jordan. Not only was I fascinated by boxing by the end of the film, but just the whole idea of Adonis Creed, a fighter and not a quitter who thoroughly believes in pursuing your goals until they are obtained. Not only is this film for boxing fans but for those who share that same universal message and refuse to give into their own inhibitions to achieve great things. We should look to athletes more often in this respect and consider the pursuit of our own desires as boxing matches and marathon races more often as it helps put our fight into perspective and teaches us never to give in. 

Score: 11/10

Arrival (2016) as seen on DVD

Before anyone comes for me for not having seen Arrival, before I was a movie buff I had briefly come across the film several times but had never taken the time to sit it out and watch it from beginning to end. I’m glad I did as Denis Villeneuve is one of my favourite directors evah and along with Christopher Nolan, I consider him as the King of Sci Fi. Every single one of his films is incroyable (as the french say) and it's a mystery why he hasn’t been handed an Oscar yet. Arrival is this slow and beautiful story of a linguistics teacher (Amy Adams) who agrees to help on a mission to communicate with extraterrestrial life forms that have landed on planet earth in the form of twelve huge spaceships. Structure isn’t something we typically consider when watching a film, but it plays such an important part in Arrival for time and the manipulation of it is the main theme of this film. Essentially, the language in which Dr. Banks translates from the intelligent life form gives its readers the ability to see into the future, which is when we come to realize that she’ll have a child, who will die of an unnamed disease. Despite this fact, she decides to live the life fate intended for her. The reason why Arrival is a highly credible film is because of the coverage it has as a film in terms of what it's trying to say as a film. From someone who finds it hard to bring out the emotion of a screenplay, Arrival is a great example to me as a film that combines both a cinematic feeling and a strong emotional presence throughout the film. It doesn’t abandon emotions or relationships just because the film is about aliens, but instead embraces them into the story and intertwines them with the aliens who’ve come to planet earth. At the end of the day, we can have explosions, spaceships and aliens galore, but if we’re unable to connect with characters on an emotional level then the film becomes boring. Arrival is far from boring and may bring a tear or two to your eye by the end.

Score: 11/10

The News of the World (2020) as seen on Netflix

I feel like it's impossible to hate a film with Tom Hanks in it and The News of the World definitely fits into that.  Five years after the US Civil War, Cpt. Jefferson Kyle Kidd (Tom Hanks) spends his days travelling around the US ‘reading the news’ to anyone who’s willing to listen. The majority of the US was illiterate in the 19th Century, meaning it was up to people like Jefferson to inform others of the ongoings in the world by reading them the paper. It’s a wondrous thing to think about, how information was once spread throughout the world in such an archaic format. Jefferson did this off his own back, not asking for much and finding fulfilment in the reactions to the news that he “broadcasted” to them. Whilst on his travels, Jefferson comes across a young girl (Golden Globe nominee Helena Zengal) who’s negro family had been killed by lynchers. The girl was originally from a Native American tribe but had been separated by them, leaving her to fend for herself. When Jefferson comes across her, he’s reluctant to take her in at first but decides to take her to some relatives across the country. It’s definitely the role you expect of Tom Hanks and his heart warming nature is captured for us in this film for Netflix.

Score: 9/10

The Mask (1994) as seen on Netflix

It's hard for me to label The Mask as a good film as that would mean shaking off the horrendous amount of misogyny it has and the lack of diversity within its characters. Films mean different things for people, but ultimately most of them reflect an element of humanity and explore it on screen with originality and authenticity. Cameron Diaz’s character was only there to fulfil the sexual appetites of the men around her, which is something I loathe in female characters. Originality The Mask has, authenticity, not so much. That's probably the reason why I hate comedies so much, most of them are written by men and are about men so it can get quite boring to watch at times. I liked the idea of The Mask but it definitely could’ve been executed in a less misogynistic way. 

Score: 5/10

Jackie (2016) as seen on Amazon Prime

One word; perfection. This film was hands down one of the most beautiful, genuine and honest films I’ve seen in my entire life. It had me reminiscing Todd Haynes’ Carol (2015) in a number of ways, from the similar filmmaking techniques to the slow and melancholy atmosphere that was being created on screen. The AMAZING Natalie Portman plays Jackie Kennedy, wife of John F. Kennedy who was brutally assassinated on a visit to Dallas, Texas in 1963. The fact that I didn’t even KNOW that his poor wife was in the car with him at the point of the assassination is shocking. On watching the film, I learnt Jackie was a remarkable, brave and intelligent woman who after her husband's death put so much into preserving her husband’s legacy despite his lack of popularity. The way the film is shot and the music by the brilliant Mica Levi (Under the Skin 2013 , Monos 2019) just ties everything together into a enigmatic and wonderful film. Natalie Portman was nominated for Best Actress at the 2017 Academy Awards and rightly so. This film has further proven my thoughts on her as one of the greatest actresses of our time. I seriously cannot EXPRESS how much I love this film, directed by Chilean director Pablo Larraín, who’s also made another film that I can’t get enough of Ema, which was released 2 years ago.

Score: 12/10

Foxcatcher (2014) as seen on BBC iPlayer

When we first think of Steve Carell, our minds probably drift to his most notable performance as Michael Scott from The Office or even Gru in Despicable Me. It's rare for a so called “comedy” actor to find his way into films with a more dramatic substance and over the last few years, this is what Carell has been showing us on screen, with this role in Foxcatcher and more recently, in Felix van Groeningen’s Beautiful Boy (2018). Foxcatcher is the true story of a wrestler offered the opportunity to train with a private wrestling team owned by a huge chemical corporation. Channing Tatum plays Mark Schultz, a quiet and reserved wrestler who trains alongside his brother David (Mark Ruffalo), also a champion wrestler. What's sad to see in this twisted story is how validated Mark feels once the powerful and wealthy John Du Pont (Steve Carrell) begins to take an interest in him and takes him under his wing. This relationship drives a wedge between Mark and his brother David, but much to John’s displeasure, it doesn’t last long. This is definitely a story of power and how people can react in bad ways when they are owed too much of it. Every performance in this was astounding and the slow and subtle telling of the story was truly beautiful to watch. Foxcatcher is a film I’ve been dying to watch for some time and it DID NOT disappoint. Period. The film was also nominated for five Oscars back in 2015, including Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor. 

Score: 11/10

In Fabric (2018) as seen on BBC iPlayer

Based on the current reviews of In Fabric, I deem the film a poncy experimental spectacle. Not only did it not say much, but what it was trying to say was rather disturbing and quite frankly bizarre. However, it's not a film I can necessarily hate on as it is experimental, meaning from the get go, I shouldn’t be expecting any sort of clear cut narrative, with relationships, protagonists, conflict or hierarchies. Experimental films are more about exploring a central idea and having all its “characters'' not essentially prove the idea, but just talk about it, like a debate but everyone agrees in the end. A debate where everyone agrees would be boring, which is why I find experimental films to be boring as most of the time they don’t have a meaning and sadly as humans, we’re obsessed with finding the meaning of things or else we’ll go crazy. And I would say this film definitely left me crazy at the end, proving the idea of man’s constant need to find meanings in things. In Fabric wasn’t really relatable, funny, clever or bold. It kinda just...was.

Score: 5/10

Delicatessen (1991) as seen on DVD

I love how the world likes to think that the American film market is the only film market when in actuality the French created the actual concept of cinema and the idea to project “movies” onto a large screen. With this has come a plethora of incredible movies from France that have gone onto to change the film industry forever. There’s a reason why the most prestigious and exclusive film festival in the entire world is held in the South of France and not LA. Jean-Pierre Jeunet is the auteur behind Amélie (2001) one of the most well known independent films ever to be made and before Amélie came Delicatessen. This film is Tim Burton meets Wes Anderson but in French and tells the story of a man working for a butcher and the crazy characters he meets in the same apartment as him. By the end it's clear that The Butcher is selling more than pork and beef down in his store and that the new tenant is due to be the next item on sale. I loved how weird and larger than life the characters were and the otherworldly set design used for this film. There were so many moments that are quite hard to explain the beauty of them and if you’ve seen Wes Anderson or Tim Burton’s work, you’ll notice the similarities between this film and their work, perhaps showing a french influence on the current American market.

Score: 10/10

Amélie (2001) as seen on DVD

Continuing on with the French theme, I was reminded this month of the beauty of Amélie. Every, single, shot in this film is pure perfection and I bet all my money that Wes Anderson was a mega fan of this film when it came out. It's truly a film like none other and it’s only this time around did I realise how much I RELATE to Amélie. The way she sacrifices herself for others and gets nothing in return, the lengths she goes to tell someone something instead of JUST SAYING IT, her lack of friends, I can definitively say that there isn’t a character on screen that I’ve related to more than Amélie (besides Elio from cmbyn). If you haven’t seen Amélie have a word with yourself.

Score: 11/10

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) as seen on Amazon Prime

Pan’s Labyrinth was a surprisingly amazing film and I wonder why I hadn’t seen it sooner. I was astounded to see it was in Spanish which I thought made the story somehow better. It's rare that we see such high budget and well known film that’s in a foreign language but I’m glad this film got the noise it did when it was released. Guillermo del Toro (The Shape of Water 2017) tells us the story of 10 year old Ofelia and her discovery of magical creatures in the woods that inhabit the outskirts of her new home. Not only that but it’s 1944. The Spanish Civil War has been over for five years but small groups of guerrilla rebels continue to fight against the new fascist dictatorship led by Francisco Franco. This is a well structured film that shows two strong worlds and combines them in a satisfying way, which isn’t an easy thing as sometimes films can get lost in the facts of history instead of the emotions and dynamic relationships. The set design in this was UNREAL as always and I really felt for the characters and their given circumstances. And that’s what we call a film.

Score: 11/10

I Care A Lot (2021) as seen on Amazon Prime 

For a full review of I Care A Lot, follow the link: https://ratingtheframe.tumblr.com/post/643763403606867968/a-strong-performance-from-rosamund-pike-that-we

Score: 8/10

Interview with a Vampire (1994) as seen on BBC iPlayer

We were doing SO WELL until I made the costly decision to watch this waffle of a film, directed by Neil Jordan. Not only was the story all over the place, but the dialogue itself was incredibly on the nose and self explanatory throughout. It feels like there was more talking about the film instead of showing the film, which just made me switch off from early on in the film. I hated the casting of Tom Cruise in this and there were moments when I believed his character, but none of them outweighed the overarched and over bearing performance he was attempting to give. Brad Pitt was marginally better but the performance of Kirsten Dunst who was 12 years old at the time this film was released, outdid both actors. She was the only character that I truly felt for / cared about and her on screen presence was both enviable and wise beyond her years. Personally, I can’t explain what this film was even about because I truly didn’t get what was going on, however if you’re a fan of Kirsten Dunst’s work, this would be a suitable film to watch in that respect. 

Score: 4/10

Fargo (1996) as seen on Amazon Prime

Fargo is probably most known as a Netflix series, but before that, it was originally a film directed by the Coen Brothers and starred the likes of Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, William H Macy and John Carroll Lynch. I’ve been meaning to watch Fargo for quite some time and I was not disappointed with the outcome of it. It's one of those good old fashioned crime films, with lots of twists and blood split throughout the film. The film won two Oscars in 1997; one for Best Actress which was handed to Frances McDormand playing a police officer investigating a string of murders in Minnesota and another for Best Original Screenplay. A really well constructed story with a fantastic cast and great cinematography work from Roger Deakins (1917 (2020), Blade Runner 2049 (2017) The Shawshank Redemption (1994). 

Score: 10/10

The Darjeeling Limited (2007) as seen on Amazon Prime

The Darjeeling Limited further proves to us Wes Anderson’s ability to create entire new worlds and show us stories that take place all across the world. Three brothers, Peter (Adrien Brody), Jack (Jason Schwartzman) and Francis (Owen Wilson) have travelled to India in an attempt to bond with one another “spiritually” after the death of their father. Peter and Jack aren’t too keen on this little expedition, irritated at their brothers' intrusiveness over the trip. The majority of the film is set on this fanatical train travelling across India and yet again, we are blessed with some phenomenal production design to tell us a fun and uplifting story. What’s more is that the boys’ mother (Anjelica Huston) lives in India as a nun at the foot of the Himalayas. This becomes the real reason for their venture and such a thing changes the character dynamics between the three men. India is shown in all its beauty in this film using the backdrop of three men’s relationship with one another as a story.

Score: 9/10

The Life Aquatic of Steve Zissou (2004) as seen on DVD

Another one of Wes Anderson’s lesser known films but equally as good as the rest, this film follows a group of marine explorers travelling across the pacific to try and kill a shark that supposedly ate a member of Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) ’s crew. With an all star cast composed of Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Cate Blanchett, Jeff Goldblum and Anjelica Huston this film was entertaining, enlightening and cinematographically ambitious. Steve Zissou is a fictional character who makes a living off of extreme and dangerous marine explorations. He makes films of his travels using his crew and after screening his latest film, he meets a young man (Owen Wilson) claiming to be his son. Evidently, Zissou is reluctant to accept that this man is his son and uses his presence as financial gain to the project. I appreciated all performances in this film and the set design (as always with Anderson’s films) was exceptional.

Score: 9/10

Life of Pi (2012) as seen on Amazon Prime

A highly visual and emotional film that carries beauty throughout in both performance and story, Life of Pi was directed by Brokeback Mountain (2005)’s Ang Lee and tells the story of Pi (Suraj Sharma and Irrfan Khan) a young boy alone in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with a fully grown Bengal Tiger. Winner of 4 Academy Awards including Best Director at the 2013 Academy Awards, this film does a phenomenal job of reminding us why cinema is such a superior and infinite art form. Pi’s family are on their way from India to America, exporting a large number of their zoo animals in hope of selling them once they reach the other side of the world. After a horrendous storm ravages their cargo ship, Pi is left all alone in the ocean with what only appears to be a small dingy, but to his horror, he comes to find that the zoo’s tiger Richard Parker is keeping him company in the middle of the ocean. Now if that ain’t a viable story, then I don’t know what is. To make a film look like it was set in the middle of a Pacific and with a Bengal Tiger is no small feat. Suraj Sharma’s performance was both truthful and powerful, despite the film being mostly shot in a studio with nothing but animation for Richard Parker. This is one of very few films that does the original novel justice. 

Score: 11/10

Capone (2021) as seen on Netflix

Yikes. Capone has not been getting a lot of love in the media since its release on Netflix on 24th February. Personally, it's not the most god awful, offensive film I’ve seen and yet I wouldn’t have been the one to have made such a film either. The film is supposed to depict the last year of the infamous and notorious Al Capone, who suffered from numerous illnesses at only the age of 48. Tom Hardy plays the blood thirsty gangster and I have to say, this was a thoughtless casting choice. Hardy doesn’t have an ounce of Italian in his face and he put on this larger than life caricature of an accent that had me feeling rather sorry for him at moments when I shouldn’t have been. The acting was exceptional, but believable and interesting? That’s another argument altogether. Cinematography and sound wise, I thought the film was excellent in those respects but again, those should be additions to the integral story of a film. I get why Hardy signed up though, what actor wouldn’t want to play a mob boss? Maybe the point of Al’s life in which this film was built upon was perhaps wrong for the screen and I’m sure most would have preferred Hardy to play Capone at his peak. This film is a clear example of people getting ahead of themselves when they first explore an idea for a film. This film could have easily been saved in the development stage had someone said let’s not do this.

Score: 5/10

Creed II (2018) as seen on Amazon Prime

Obviously a prequel will always outdo a sequel, however I found Creed II to be just as meaningful as the first film. Maybe even more so as Adonis Creed (Michael B Jordan) is becoming a father his responsibilities have shifted dramatically. He’s also desperate to fight Viktor Drago, a Ukrainian ruthless boxer whose father accidentally killed Creed’s father in a match decades before. Drago is tough, beyond what he and his coach Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) could ever imagine and because of this, it drives a wedge between Adonis’ relationship with his coach. Creed thinks Rocky doesn’t believe he can beat Drago but Rocky insists not fighting the bull of a boxer would benefit him greatly, after all, look what happened to his father. The character dynamics have shifted in this sequel, but the structure has remained largely the same. We kind of knew what we were being served at the end and the change in character was there for everyone.

Score: 10/10

...and that’s it! Everything I watched this February, you do not want to KNOW how long this list took to compile. Thanks for reading and see you next month!

ig: @ratingtheframe

[ar-jae-spn]

Okay okay, let's talk Dean and Jack's reLAtIonShIP - season by season.

(I'll take you through four stages! Prevention, elimination, realization, and solution.)

Season 12:

Okay, obviously we don't see a lot in this season, but Dean still has an opinion on Jack, who he is, and what he'll become.

When they first figure it out, there's an immediate action - find Kelly and her "lucifer love child" and figure it out from there. They don't really go into specifics yet, because they have no clue what it is that they're going to do. They're focused on sending Lucifer back to the cage, leaving Kelly in Cas's care. As we know, she quickly gets away, and they go back to trying to find her.

Here - Dean is in the mindset of prevention. Prevent the bad thing from happening, before it happens. He thinks something is coming, something bad, because when has the name "Lucifer" ever been a good thing.

Lucifer dragged his brother to hell. Lucifer drove Sam to the edge of death. Lucifer is bad news, and Dean's been wanting to stab that angelic arse since season 5. (This becomes so much clearer at the end of season 13, when they finally kill Lucifer. The relief is so clear when they beat him.)

So, what does "prevention" mean. Well, to Dean it means stopping the birth of Lucifer Jr. by any means necessary. This is SO IMPORTANT TO NOTE. Sam is the idealist - he believes that they make the world a better place. He believes in them! He believes that there is always, ALWAYS another way, because he has too. This because Dean is the cynic. He believes they're saving people, but making the world a better place? He's not so sure. He relys on anger and trauma in order to keep going, because he believes the only thing waiting for him is death (which actually becomes quite literal in seasons 14 and 15). He doubts whether everything is worthwhile. He doubts his decisions, and it makes him a mess. That's why he's so good at hunting. It's an absolute for him. You see something bad, you kill it. No second-guessing, no doubts.

So, any means necessary. That includes death. He doesn't want to kill Kelly, but if he believes the single touch of this baby corrupts, what's to say she's not brainwashed? What if she's evil too? Are they willing to take that chance? But when Sam finds a way to save them both, Kelly and her child, he gets on board immediately. He's for it, because if there is a way you can save this mother and her child, and the world while you're at it, he'll go for it. He'll go for it because he believes in Sam.

But then this child takes Cas, and Dean is lost in what to believe again. He's scared - for Cas, and even possibly of Cas. The way he burned Dagon to a crisp? That's power we haven't seen from Cas since the fall. That's scary. He's scary. And his best friend just went off the grid. What if he's hurt? What if he's gone?

And then we get that final showdown. Lucifer is coming, and he's pissed, and we don't have time to argue anymore. This baby is coming, and it's coming now. We get the door to another world, the disappearance of Mary, and Cas's and Kelly's death. In return, Dean and Sam get Jack. How can a creature who caused so much death, who has so much power, possibly be good?

Season 13:

Okay, this is the beginning of the end.

Obviously, Dean's pretty angry at, well, everything. This child is alive, has been born, and the prevention stage has gone out the window.

It's elimination time.

Dean's immediate reaction? Climb the stairs and put a bullet in Lucifer Jr. Sam tries to stop him, but the bullet goes off and Jack's powers are activated. Pure PURE instinct. He hasn't learned enough yet. He doesn't KNOW enough yet. He's just been born for Chuck's sake. And why did Dean act so recklessly? Because he's pissed. He immediately blames the death of Cas, Kelly, and Mary on Jack, because who the hell else is there left to blame? (Also, that moment where Dean calls upon God with no reply, will also start the lead in to "the end".)

Now they're on a chase, a chase for the son of Lucifer. They find him, Sam gets that little moment with Jack saying "will you tell them I'm sorry", and now it's about convincing Dean that Jack is good. But yeah, that doesn't go over well because Dean lost Cas and he blames Jack and Sam blames Lucifer, because Lucifer stabbed Cas. (These boys I swear.)

And then what happens? Cas comes back, and it's because of Jack. This is so so SO important, because this is the moment that Dean starts to ease up on Jack. He respects Cas, he loves him, and Cas's return also proves that Cas and Sam were right. This kid CAN do good.

So then he goes off to save Mary. Dean is surprised, but pleasantly, and they let him do what he has to do. We get that any means necessary vibe from him again, except now it's about saving Mary and protecting Sam. (Threatening Kaia/keeping Sam at the bunker.) Jack goes to Apocalypse World and Sam and Dean go to the bad place. They get back (via the amazing team of wayward women) and get they're spell on.

And, you know, Sam dies...

And then Lucifer is back - again - and Dean gets defensive, because that's his kid and his kid's mentally abusive father just came popping back in on them bearing the single gift that Dean can't refuse (Sam's life). Jack immediately connects this with his own experience. (Oh! I brought Cas back and now Dean thinks I'm good! Bringing loved ones back from the dead is good. i.e. Lucifer must be good.) Because he's a kid, barely a year old, and that's what kids do.

And Jack doesn't want to hurt anyone, driving him to join his father "in the stars" to protect Sam and Dean. Again, final showdown, Jack's grace is taken, Lucifer dies, and Dean disappears.

Season 14:

Moving on to the third stage ~ realization.

Okay so, season 14. I want to start off by mentioning that scene where Jack is determined to kill Michael even if it means sacrificing Dean because it's "what he would want". He's okay with sacrificing one life to save a million, even if it is Dean. Cas is obviously taken a back by this - clearly seeing that Apocalypse World shaped Jack in a way that the Winchester's hadn't. (I also want to quickly mention that this is the same mindset that Jack has now in season 15. His singular life over the world? No contest.) Here he still has his soul, yet the audience is meant to be offended by his proclamation. we've been considering Jack to be a kid who looks up to his father's but obviously it's more than that. He's was weapon of mass destruction, and now he's helpless. He's running out of options and his mortality is crashing down on him.

Then Jack takes ill, and Dean is thrown into a position that he's never been in before. He's about to lose a kid, someone he has treated as a monster since birth until he was able to prove his worth, and he's taking it REALLY hard. He feels guilty and he's totally unprepared to lose child. He failed with Jack in the same (but less extreme) way John failed with the brothers. And he's starting to realize that Jack has always just been a kid.

So they bring him back. Jack has soul, but it's limited now, and he has powers, but he can't use them. But that same feeling of helplessness will come into play when Jack ends up using his powers to save Cas and to save Sam and Dean. He burns out his soul, get his(?) grace back, and saves the world from hyped up monsters in exchange for his morality.

And then he kills Mary. (Personally I never liked Mary's character, but that's for a different post.)

It was an accident! He said stop, used his power, and she disintegrated. I mean if the soulless being, who maybe has too much power and just fried another human being tells you to stop, you should probably do it. I found the way Mary died to be very... stupid? I don't know. Personally I think she should've been smarter than that (but again, another post).

And now Dean is pissed. Because of course he's pissed. His mom just died by the hands of a kid that they helped take care of. I mean, the betrayal he must have felt in that moment is just astronomical. Not to mention Jack just saved Sam's life??? And then goes off and kills his mom??? Like how are you supposed to feel about that? He ends up quickly taking a step back into the elimination stage of our story, as "needing revenge" is the Dean Winchester way.

Then, obviously, we get the show down with God, the "equalizer", and Dean's apparent resistance to follow through with Chuck's "story" (probably because of Sam and Cas, thanks boys). But then Jack dies because Chuck kills him, and that would seem to be the end of the story.

Season 15:

Haha you thought-

Anyways, this is when Jack became the solution.

I just quickly want to mention the scene in the car where Balthagor asks Dean "who was he anyway?" and Dean replies "he was our kid, kind of." Clearly Dean still saw Jack as "their kid" even after everything that happened. He even has trouble replying to the question and then quickly changes the subject.

And then Jack comes back.

At first, Dean seems troubled that Jack has returned, but once Jack fills him in about Billie's plan to kill God, he seems on board, because of course he's on board to take down Chuck. Even so, there's still that mild skepticism about Billie, her plan, and Jack's involvement in it. None of them seem to like where this is headed, and Dean even says that they're being kept in the dark on purpose. They're even more concerned because he doesn't have a soul. Yet, he still volunteers to help save Kaia because it was "his fault". He's trying to right his wrongs because he remembers (logically) what she felt, and he wants to help her. He even says "I owe it to her" and "it's the right thing to do" because he's in her debt. They end up saving her, but get a face full of Billie's wrath in the process. They're clearly scared of her, and they should be.

I feel this is substantial, as Billie has taken a special liking to Dean, and Dean obviously respects her (as he did as the og Death as well as Reaper Billie). He's ten steps ahead in this plan, already thinking about killing Amara too. He's down with clearing the board of cosmic entities.

In "Destiny's Child," when Jack goes to the garden, Dean seems genuinely concerned about him, but taken their given situation and this new plan, it could easily have been mistook for distress over loosing they're last hope at victory. (Then again, when Jack comes back from the garden Dean makes extra sure that he's "okay", asking multiple times.) This is then followed up by the realization that Jack has his soul back and his teary plea for the brothers' forgiveness.

When the season ended here back in March, I thought for sure that Dean and Sam would forgive Jack. It seems so obvious to me that he felt guilty about it. I mean, the boy's literally crying!!! Not only that, but Dean and Sam have made plenty of mistakes in the past, some of which include beating or even trying to murder each other. With that in mind, I just thought they would forgive Jack for what happened to Mary considering he was soulless. I didn't expect Dean to forgive Jack right away, but I didn't expect him to be so reluctant about it either. I think he was really caught off guard when Jack asked for his forgiveness and I think he's still has a long way to go considering the betrayal. (I mean, clearly Dean doesn't forgive things easily. Even when it came to Sam, Sam struggled constantly to gain Dean's trust again until "Sacrifice".)

Then we got "Last Holiday" where we can clearly see Dean being conflicted over his relationship with Jack. He's not ready to forgive him but he doesn't inherently want him to die. He still has a protective instinct over Jack, and he doesn't really want anything to happen to him.

But when Cas tells Dean that Jack is going to be a bomb to blow up Chuck and Amara, Dean's first instinct is to protect Sam from this news. He truly believes that this plan, Billie's plan, is the only way that they're going to win. He blatantly says "You don't have a choice. We don't have a choice." This dialogue can easily be taken as aggressive and selfish, but Dean often hides his hurt with anger. He's pissed at Chuck, he's pissed at Amara, and yeah, he's still angry with Jack. But I have a feeling of Cas is able to find a way to save Jack, he'll be on board with it. There's nothing more important to Dean than Sam, and to just think that he's going to forget that Sam cares deeply about Jack is out of the question. Obviously, Sam has a strong connection with Jack (a profound bond you might say) and Dean didn't want to tell him because, once again, Sam is the only person in the world who could possibly talk Dean out of Billie's plan.

I think Dean is trying to take his anger and hurt from when Mary died and that sense of betrayal and turn it into a defense to cope with the loss of Jack. Jack is going to die, and Dean is certain of this, but he still doesn't like it. Even while he's talking to Billie at the diner, he mentions Jack's inevitable death disdainfully to her. She even has to ask if he's still on board, if they have a problem. He says no, but it's because he doesn't feel like they have another option. Chuck is coming and this is the only play they have right now.

Final comments on 15x16:

Dean doesn't believe they have a choice anymore, which is strange because the whole reason they're fighting in the first place is so that they can have a choice. The poetic irony of this is really in your face and kind of annoying. I think the writers could have done a better job with "Drag me away", especially with dialogue between Sam and Dean. The ending in the car was gold, and they definitely should have built up more dialogue and tension between them before that final scene. A lot of this episode was also emphasizing the fact that Dean would do anything for Sam (as if we already didn't know). But besides that, I thought it was a decent episode. I think it's weird that this episode came this late in the season, but I'm hoping it will tie in nicely in the end. Anyways, this was my analysis of Dean and Jack's relationship and I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave comments or things I might have missed. Stay safe out there!

[mystoriesmylives]

Bluebirds-Cain

Triggers for suicide mentions.

Cain thinks he’s a good father or an adequate father at least.

He remembers when Collette got pregnant, how happy she was. Cain was nervous and told Collette he didn’t think he will be a good enough father. When he told Collette his fears, she comforted him, saying they will do it by the best of their ability. The months passed with them preparing a nursery and discussing baby names. When they found out it was a boy, the decided on Castiel, after the angel for Thursday. They were joyous in those months.

But when Collette was eight months pregnant, her water suddenly broke and she started to bleed. He quickly brought her to the hospital and the doctors then said they need to operate. Four and half hours later, the doctor came out and said Collette died and his son was premature. His mind was fuzzy; all he heard was “hemorrhaging” and “high blood pressure” and that there is a chance his son won’t make it. He remembers walking to the nursery and seeing his newborn connected to tubes and in his incubator. After weeks of making sure his son will live, he finally took him home.

He remembers back to those years with fondness and melancholy. He remembers five A.M. feeding and diaper changing, while also trying to work through his grief with losing Collette. He remembers moving nearer to the woods, which helped more with his beekeeping business. He remembers with fondness a toddler Castiel trailing after him, wearing nothing but his small overalls, looking at fascination at the bees. He remembers how nervous he was when Castiel started kindergarten, who was just happy over his bee backpack. How relived he was when Castiel came back home, happily babbling over his new friend, Dean Winchester.

Cain watched the boys grow up together, both attending elementary and high school together. How they defended each other from bully’s to pranks to dances. Cain became friends with the Winchester; he liked Mary and Sam, but he always felt at odds with John. He felt like John was threatened by him somehow; that he was trying to prove that he was “manlier” then him or something. It always made Cain roll his eyes in annoyance. But Dean and Sam were always welcomed in his home. He wondered if he was seeing things when he noticed how close Dean and Castiel were becoming.

When Castiel was 15, he walked into their living room, looking nervous as he stared at him. Cain was concerned to say the least.

“Castiel, is something the matter?” Cain asked. He always called his son by his full name; he could never call him Cas.

“Um, Dad, I need to tell you something. It’s important.”

Cain watched patiently as Castiel paced around the room. He then fully faced him with a determined look on his face.

“Dad, I’m gay.” Castiel blurted out.

Cain just blinked at the outburst and said,

“Ok?”

Castiel blinked back at him and frowned.

“You’re not bothered by it?”

“No, Castiel, I’m not. You are my son and I do not care for you preferences, I still love you all the same.”

He watched as Castiel stares at him blankly and then burst into tears. Cain quietly got up, frantic at his son’s tears.

“Castiel, what is the matter?” Cain asked anxiously.

“I-I thought the worst. Thought you will kick me out or-or…”

Cain couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt. He never showed any type of homophobia or any type of bigotry; he never believed in any of that nonsense. But Castiel must have felt it could still happen, like so many others who were in the same position.

Castiel then hugged Cain, sniffling as he hugged him tight.

“Thank you, thank you.” He sniffed as he looked at his father, “I just feel…so lucky.”

Cain smiled at that and then pulled back to look at his son.

“Castiel, I want you to know that whatever happens, you will always be my son and I will always love you.”

After that talk, Castiel was more open with Cain. When he turned 16, he told his father that he was going out with Dean (which he totally saw coming) and that he was upset that Dean didn’t want to make their relationship public, like he was ashamed. Cain assured Castiel that Dean was probably not ready, though he had a feeling that John has something to do with it. One Friday night, Castiel sat across him, looking anxiously at his phone.

“Is something the matter, Castiel?”

“It’s just…Dean said he was coming out to his family this week and he still hasn’t called me.”

“I’m sure he will call when he can.”

Castiel nodded as he got up and walked to the kitchen. Cain heard Castiel’s phone beep and smiled, hoping that will ease Castiel’s anxiety. He then heard a gasp and Castiel feet rushing to the door. Cain stood up and ran after him, wondering what caused Castiel distress.

“Castiel, what’s wrong?” he said they got to his jeep, and grabbing one of his arms.

“Dean…he sent me a text.” Castiel said frantically, “He said he loved me and goodbye. He was saying goodbye to me, dad. Why would he say that?!”

Cain himself felt panic as he and Castiel got into the jeep and drove fast to the Winchester home. Cain felt his heart plummet when he saw the sirens and flashing lights. He barely parked the car when Castiel ran out and towards the ambulance. He got out himself and watched as Castiel spoke to Sam, frantically speaking to each other. When Cain got to the boys, he saw Castiel’s face was white as a sheet.

“Castiel , what happened?” he asked, frightened by his son’s reaction.

“D-Dean tried to hang himself.” Castiel whispered. “He tried to kill himself.”

Castiel then fainted into his father’s arms.

Cain paced in the waiting room, then stopped to look at his son. Castiel looked so despondent, like his entire world just collapsed.

They both found out that Dean came out to his family, and it didn’t go well…at all. John roared at him and then said he was going to a straight camp or he will be kicked out. Mary agreed with John, which surprised Cain since she usually is so open-minded. John was conspicuously missing. He glanced at Castiel again and was again struck by how terrible Castiel looked. He sat next to him and started to rub his back, making him look up at him with teary eyes.

“This is all my fault.” He said.

“No, it’s not Castiel.”

“But if I didn’t pressure him…” he sobbed, “If I didn’t keep telling him…”

“Castiel, what Dean did was of his own accord, you had nothing to do with Dean’s choice.”

Castiel broke into sobs and all Cain could do was hug his son together. He then saw Sam and Mary walk in, looking like Death walked over them. Mary looked distraught while Sam spoke up.

“They said he sprained his neck badly and that he is very lucky.” Sam said in a quiet voice. Mary walked over to a nearby window and Cain followed her. The two adults stood near the window, until Mary broke it.

“Are you here t rub it in?” Mary snarled, “Tell me how I’m such a bad mother?”

“Mary…”

“Don’t you think I know that already?! Don’t you think I already know I failed?!” Mary sobbed as Cain rubbed her back. He then sighed and looked at the Winchester mother.

“Mary, I don’t understand. Sending Dean to a straight camp? Don’t you know that could destroy him.”

“It-it was an empty threat. I thought it could straighten him out, to pull him from this phase. Maybe it could fi-”

“If you say fix, so help me God…”

“Don’t you know what happens to gays?” Mary shrieked, “I don’t want my son to be like that and it is just a phase. He will get over it.”

“It’s not a phase, Mary. Something this big is not a phase. How could you do something like this?”

“Don’t judge me, Cain! You don’t know how it is, your son isn’t gay!”

“Actually he is.”

That stopped Mary in her tracks.

“What?”

“Castiel is gay and he and Dean have been a couple for almost a year.” He said, folding his arms, “You had no idea, did you?”

Mary’s blank stare have his answer to him and he sighed, rubbing his temples. Sam then walked into the room, staring at his mother with blazing, tearing eyes.

“I knew.” Sam said, “I knew and I didn’t care. I still loved Dean. I didn’t care. Why didn’t you love him?”

“Sam-”

“Why didn’t you love him, Mom?”

Sam then walked away, leaving a sadden Cain and a devastated Mary.

The next few hours pass with the same somber tone and all Cain could do is observe.  H watched as Castiel and Dean friends walked in, all shocked and scared. Mary looked at some of the friends in confusion, which made Cain think she really knew nothing about her sons’ life. John was still missing, which just pissed him off. Dean woke up, but refused to see anyone; he was on suicide watch which seemed to unnerve Cain and Castiel. Cain finally forced the kids to go to the cafeteria to eat and get some fresh air.

He suddenly heard loud voices and looked down the hall to see John and Mary arguing in the hallway. He tried to tune it out until he heard a snippet of Mary’s voice.

“You weren’t there, John. You weren’t the one who walked in on him! You weren’t the one who had to cut him down!”

Cain’s eyes widened and he leaned against the wall with a sigh. So Mary was the one who found Dean; he wondered if that why she was snappish earlier. He then thinks of how the Winchesters will ever recover from this.

An hour has passed and Dean would only allow Castiel to see him. It has been 15 minutes since his son went in and Cain expected Castiel to run out screaming or something. He couldn’t help, but take a peek into the rom. He saw the two boys; Castiel standing up with a tense face and Dean on the bed, wearing a neck brace and also with a tense face. Then Castiel finally spoke up.

“Why Dean? Why did you do it?” Castiel choked out, “God, Dean, is it because of me? Because I pressured you? Because I wanted you to…”

“No, Cas, no.” Dean rasped.

“God, Dean. You are such selfish twat! Didn’t you think about the people who cared for you? Didn’t you think how I will feel? Didn’t you think I would have just followed you?!”

At that moment, Cain left, unable to hear anymore. He can’t imagine losing Castiel, not only was he his whole world, he was also his last tie to Collette. He stumbled away, trying to will that image away. He then saw John leaning against the wall and he felt his anger reared its ugly head.

“Why are you here?” he snarled, getting Johns attention, “I thought you will be halfway into a bottle by now.”

John looked like he was about to retort, but Cain beat him to it.

“You know, John, I took a lot of your shit over the years, but this is it. I watched you put Dean down for year, making him feel like he was nothing. Well, here is the result of your work.” He snarled, his hand waving to Dean’s room “You hurt him, and it hurt my Castiel.”

Cain took a deep breath and glared John.

“Dean will be living with me from now on. I think it will be better to be with a loved one.”

With that, Cain turned around and left without a word.

The last 6months were one of the most emotional and turbulent for Cain.

Dean for certain moved in with him, along with Sam, who absolutely refused to leave his brother’s side. He watched as Dean and Castiel talked in his garden constantly; the majority of them ending in tears and embraces. Their friends came by constantly; though at first they walked on eggshells around him. But they then gave the support and care he needed. Cain also knew they were having a hard time at school, but Castiel didn’t come to him with any complaints.

Cain watched as Dean slowly opened up and became a more independent and happy young man. He offered to pay for his stay, but Cain wouldn’t hear of it. He also watched as Dean went to therapy as he let out that he wanted dot go to college and become a teacher. Cain couldn’t help but feel somber that Dean only bloomed when he was away for John’s poisonous words.

It took Mary awhile to come around. Cain realized that it wasn’t because she was homophobic, but only that she was surprised she didn’t know a lot about her son and that she was just blindsided by his coming out. She didn’t visit her sons for weeks because she was ashamed of herself and her sense of failure for her sons. She finally came a month afterwards, Dean and her talking for about an hour, which resulted in Dean and Sam moving back in two weeks.

John left for parts unknowns, which Cain didn’t give a damn about.

He didn’t think John would come back, but then he came unannounced to a barbeque at Dean’s home. Everyone was frozen; Castiel stood near Dean as though he was going to throw himself in front of him. Cain himself was going to throw him out, but John spoke up.

“Um…Dean, could I talk to you in private…please?” John said, looking at Dean’s neck, more specifically, the scar from the noose. Castiel was about to say something, but Dean held a hand up.

“Fine, let’s go over here.” Dean said as they walked to an empty corner. Cain watched as John seemed to talk frantically, while Dean stoically listened. Then Dean seemed to say something and then John nodded. John left the backyard and nodded at Cain before he left. Cain looked back at Dean, who was being comforted by Castiel, wrapped in an intimate embrace.

Cain looked up and said a silent prayer for him and the boys, praying for Collette to watch over them.

AN: Here is a fic that gave me so much grief, but I’m so glad to get it done. This is actually going to be a three part series, with Mary and John’s point of view.

I was inspired from a tumblr self-help post, where it talks about suicide and what will happen if the person who finds them. So, this was born.

I could just see Cain as Castiels father, its such an adorable idea.

Comments are loved! I don’t own SPN!

[unnuevosoltransformalarealidad]

Wishes

Summary: It’s the birthday of the reader, and she only has one wish.

Characters: Sam, Dean, Gabriel (Mention),Sister!Reader

Fandom: Supernatural

Word Count: 3926

Prompt #25: I just want a nice, easy life. What’s wrong with that?” 

A/N: It was written for the #luluk4kwritingchallenge for @holylulusworld I hope you like it!

A/N 2: This is my first fic ever, so any comment on what to get better are welcomed. This fic is inspired in “The french mistake” episode. Also, I started writing this on my birthday, and is the way I pictured it. Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistake, English is not my mother tongue but I did my best.

The guys and Y/N were coming back in Baby from an easy hunt, just salt n burn, but Y/N was really exhausted that she fell asleep immediately. When they arrived at the bunker, Dean woke Y/N and he helped her to get to her room.

Y/N was really tired, not only physically, but also mentally. She wanted to give up, she needed a break, she had spent her whole life doing it, and she was getting tired. After saying goodbye to her brothers, she went to her room to get some rest.

It was getting harder to get some sleep after a hunt, so she started to write everything in a journal, like the one that they use that John, her father wrote, but this journal wasn’t nothing like the one that John wrote, this journal had her feelings, her thoughts, everything that she went through her life. Usually, she wrote in it at night, when she was alone, because she preferred writing than speaking to either of her brothers, it was easier. This night was not different at all, she was writing about the hunt, about the cheap motel where they stayed, about Dean and his love of junk food and pie, about the morning runs that Sammy did, and the most important thing for her, that day was her 25th birthday, and she was upset, because neither of her brothers remember it, and because she expected to at least enjoy that day as a normal person would do. But she knew that something that simple like celebrate a birthday it’s impossible.

That night, before going to sleep, she went to the kitchen to drink some water, when she had a quick encounter with Sam.  They had a different relationship than the one she had with Dean. Sam had something with her that with only seeing her he knew what was going on with her. Sam notice immediately that Y/N was off, and he knew exactly what was it. Before leaving Y/N alone in the kitchen he asked “Are you okay? “

“Yes.”  Y/N said – “Why?”

“You seemed a little off today during the hunt Sam said. “

Before answering, she consider if it was the best telling Sam the truth, eventually he was going to find out, like he always did, but before thinking she said “I just want a nice, easy life. What’s wrong with that?”

Sam was surprised; he didn’t know that, actually he didn’t expect that answer. He approached to Y/N and he gave her a quick hug before saying something.  He took those minutes to think what to say.

“I know you’re tired, and I know that you never had the chance to have an easy life. I never had either, but this is what we do. It’s not normal, but there’s nothing wrong to what you want” Sam said. Y/N looked at his brother with tearing eyes when she snapped.

“This life, our lifestyle sucks. I never had the chance to go to parties with friends, because there was always a hunt, there was always something more important than our lives. I never spent two months in the same school. I never had the chance to have friends, real friends. I never could do anything. And now, that I’m grown up, I can’t even go to college.” She said, and added “You probably wouldn’t understand because you came back to Dean and Dad, and never left. Although you said that you would never coming back after you left”.

Sam was hurt, but what Y/N was true. He didn’t know what to say, and because he didn’t answer and was staring at Y/N, she left the kitchen saying “I wish I had a chance to change everything and not living this life, because it sucks”.

Sam went to Dean’s room to talk to him about what happened with Y/N. Sam explained everything “Look man, I think we screwed it. Y/N is really pissed and she has every right to be it. You know what day is today? - Sam asked. Dean hesitated but he didn’t answer.

“Today is her birthday, she turned 25 and we didn’t even congratulate her. We were more worried about this crappy ghost than her.” Sam said.

“We have to make it up for her” Dean said.  “Tomorrow we are going to do everything she wants. It’s at least what we can do for her. She deserves it” Dean added.

“We can’t wait until tomorrow, Dean. Her birthday is today and she is pissed off” Sam said. “I’ll see what I can do. In the mean time, go and buy something to her”.

Y/N was in her bedroom, crying, but those tears weren’t because she was sad, she was upset. Neither of her brothers remembered her birthday, none of them said anything. They spent the whole day together and they didn’t say a thing. She needed someone to talk but she didn’t have any true friend she could trust about her life. Y/N, also thought about calling Cass, but it wasn’t the best because he was going to talk with the boys and they didn’t need to know. So, Y/N had one choice left, and that was Gabriel. They had been best friends for a while now, they had a really great bond, and she really trusted him.

She didn’t even have to think about calling him that he was with her by her side, hugging her.

“What’s going on love?” Gabriel asked concerned. “Why are you so upset? Is it because of your birthday?”

Y/N didn’t answer; she was trying to calm herself in the arms of her best friend. “What did they do to you? Gabriel asked firmly. Y/N took some minutes to thought about telling him or not what had happened and before she could realize, she was telling him everything.

“I know today is your birthday, and I know that today is a special day for you because, as you said it before, it’s the only day where you can be “normal” like the rest of the world. But you need to know that YOU are special every day, and you don’t need to have a “normal” life like the rest of the world, because your life is special because YOU make it special. You have to understand that love”. Gabriel said to Y/N, getting too emotional for the first time since the day had started. Sam & Dean approached to her bedroom with a cake and some gifts for her, but they got shock when they saw Gabriel there with her, holding her in a tight hug.

“We didn’t know you had visitors tonight Y/N/N. I didn’t see him coming” Dean complains. “Back off Dean. Don’t be a jerk. It’s her birthday today; she can have anything or anyone.” Sam said to Dean. They gave Y/N her gifts and they made her blow the candle so she could have the three wishes.

Sam could figure out one of the wishes that Y/N was going to ask because of the conversation they had earlier.  He wanted to make sure that Y/N understood that it’s was difficult what she was asking for. It was too risky, they managed to keep her under the radar for most of her life, they didn’t want to cause any troubles to her, and so the best was to keep her under the radar the most.

Y/N was tired because of the hunt, so her brothers left the room quickly so Y/N was able to rest a few hours at least. Sometimes the simple hunts were the worst, they were really exhausted. Gabriel stayed with Y/N on her bedroom until she fell asleep. Y/N said one thing to Gabriel, not paying attention because she was practically fully slept, so, she didn’t register what actually said and to whom. “I wish we could have a normal life like the rest of the world just for one day.”   Y/n said before falling asleep completely.  Gabriel was worried about her friend and he knew he needed to prove her that what he said earlier was true.

Y/N woke up, grabbed her phone and went to the kitchen to have breakfast with her brothers. She decided to forget what had happened the night before with her brothers about the whole birthday thing; she wanted to make sure that they had understood that she was just having a difficult time. When she got to the kitchen, she saw that Sam was making breakfast wearing a suit.

“Nice outfit” Y/N said.

“Ha Ha. Very funny. Always the same joke” Sam replied. “It’s getting a little too obvious, you are making it every day to either me or Dean, you’ll have to find a new one” Sam told you while giving you your breakfast.

“Why are you still on your pajamas? You are supposed to be ready, you are going to be late for college” Dean scolded. Y/N didn’t say anything; she was not able to understand what was going on. Dean & Sam stood in front of her, looking at her with worried faces.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked “You don’t seem fine” he added.

“Sweetie, is everything okay?” Dean asked.

Y/N was speechless; she didn’t know what to say. Everything was so confusing that the only thing she could say was “Is there a case, right? You are only making fun of me because of last night”

“Stop joking Y/N! Finish your breakfast and go change! We’re already late!!” Dean said angrily.

After some minutes and without any trace of Y/N, Sam went to her room to see if she was ready. “Sweetheart, are you ready? You’re going to be late for your class” Sam said to Y/N.  Because he didn’t get any answer, he decided to enter the room. He found Y/N lying on her bed; it looked like she was sleeping. “Y/N/N, are you okay?” Sam said approaching to the bed, “Do you feel fine? What’s wrong? Sam insisted but he got no answer. Sam left the room, and went to find Dean.

“Where’s she? It’s already too late!” Dean said frustrated.

“Y/N is not coming with us.” Sam answered; “She is still in bed; it seems that she had fallen asleep again. I’m staying with her today. I think she is getting sick” Sam said to Dean.

“She can’t skip school again” Dean said to Sam. “I know” Sam said “but she seems not t be fine. I rather be here with her, and not sending her to school and then have to pick her up in the middle of the day.” Sam said rationally to Dean.

Sam went to his bedroom to change his clothes and Dean went to work. After changing to more comfy clothes, Sam went to check on Y/N to see if she was better.

“Kiddo, you good in here?” Sam asked before entering the room. He saw her the same way she was a few minutes ago, something was different in Y/N, he could tell and he needed to know what was it. Y/N didn’t move from the bed when Sam entered; she pretended she was asleep so he wouldn’t bother her. She notice that her bed sunk in, and two strong arms holding her.

Sam was holding her, he didn’t know what was going on with her, but he felt that holding her was what she needed.  “You know you can talk to me, right? Dean was being a jerk today, don’t worry about him” Sam said to Y/N, trying to make her feel safe.

They stayed in that position for what it felt like hours, Y/N decided to move, Sam released her a little so she could get a little more comfortable in the bed. Y/N knew that Sam was there, but she didn’t say anything. “What’s going on sweetheart?” Sam said worried.

Y/N moved from Sam’s grip to get a better view of him and said “I don’t get it. Last night you were worried about me. Dean got a little upset to me during the hunt, but today you two seem that you don’t remember anything”.

Sam looked at her confused and said to her “What are you talking about Y/N? What hunt?”

Y/N sat on the bed to be in front of him. “Come on Sam, that ghost we hunt yesterday. It was just salt and burn. Something simple we could do with our eyes closed” Y/N said to Sam, she was getting annoyed by all this “confusion” that her brothers were having to her.

“Babe, there is no such a thing as ghosts. They are just Halloween stories” Sam said. “Probably was a night-“

“So, why are we living in this bunker and not in a house, like regular people?” Y/N cut off Sam.

“We are living here, because this place belonged to our grandfather, and to his grandfather before him, this place belongs to the Winchester.” Sam said

“It’s our legacy, I know that.” Y/N said while rolling her eyes.  “I need some fresh air. I can’t be here anymore”. She added, while leaving the room. “Wait for me Y/N! I’m coming with you!” Sam yelled from the bedroom so Y/N could hear him before leaving.

Sam and Y/N were outside of the bunker walking around. “So… why were you wearing a suit this morning if there wasn’t a case?” Y/N asked intrigued.

“Well… Actually, with Dean we are working in a case. I don’t know if that’s what you meant, but…” Sam got interrupted by one of the neighbors.

“What was the case about? You know who that is?” Y/N asked a little distracted because of what had happened.

“Sweetheart, you know that we don’t discuss our work with you. That person is one of the workers in the supermarket where I bought all the crappy food, like Dean likes to call it. Everything is fine?” Sam answered and noticed that something has caught Y/N attention.

“Why? Am I not part of the team? I have every right to know about the case. How am I supposed to help you with research if I don’t know?” Y/N said angry- “I’m fine, it’s that I think I saw something weird. Never mind”.

“You know why Y/N. We know that you are part of the team, but not right now. You have to focus first on finish your degree so then you can start working with us. It’s not fair if we give you more work besides all the work you have for college. You need to understand that” Sam said when he realized that Y/N was behind him looking at nowhere. Definitely something was into her, because she was too distracted. “Hey! Y/N! Come on up!” Sam hurried Y/N. “Did you listen what I said?” Sam asked concerned.

“Yeah. And I don’t get it. Why do I have to wait? Why is so important to you though?” Y/N asked pissed off because of what her brother had just said.

“We both are lawyers with Dean, and if we make you work without your degree would be illegal, besides you are only on your second year, and I don’t know why, but this year you are far behind with your classes and your grades. Something is going on with you and you are not talking” Sam said; he was tired of your behavior. “Let’s go back to the house and we keep talking with Dean as well.” Sam finally said breathing out more calmly, when he noticed that Y/N was no longer by his side, and she was out of sight.

Sam rushed to the bunker “Come on Dean… Pick up, pick up, pick up.”  Sam said waiting for an answer from Dean; he didn’t get any response from Dean. When he entered the bunker he saw Dean in the library searching for something. “Hey! Have you saw Y/N? I think she might have a book that I need” Dean said to Sam; “I don’t know where is she, Dean.” Sam said upset.

“What?”  Said Dean pissed off- “How this is possible that you don’t know where is is she?” Dean was really angry.

“I don’t know man, one minute she was with me and the other she was out of my sight. I don’t have any idea where she might have gone” Sam said trying to be as calm as possible.

“What did you say to her? Clearly it was something that pissed her off” Dean said blaming his brother.

“We were talking about us wearing suits this morning, about why we don’t tell her anything about the cases we work, why she is not working with us yet and…” Sam stops talking.

“And what?!” Dean yelled at Sam; “Sammy come on! What did you say?” Dean asked a little more calmly.

“I told her about her grades and that she was skipping too many classes” Sam finally admits

Dean looked at Sam worried, because his little sister was missing, and frantically, they didn’t have any idea where she could be. “I’m going to track her phone. I need to know that she is fine” Dean said, avoiding his brother’s gaze.

“You know what is odd; this morning she told me that last night we went to a hunt the three of us.” Sam remembered the anecdote that Y/N told him.

Dean stopped what he was doing to look at his brother surprised. “Us? In a hunt? What we were hunting?” Dean asked with curiosity.

“Ghosts. Believe it or not, that’s what she told me” Sam said laughing at Dean’s face of confusion.

“There is no such a thing as ghost. They don’t exist.” Dean said to Sam while tracing Y/N’s phone on the computer.

“That’s what I told her.” Sam said to Dean.

“Well, this is weird.” Dean said to Sam pointing to the screen where Y/N’s phone was located.

“Where’s it? Sam asked “I don’t recognize the place” Sam admitted.

“It’s the cemetery near here. Why is her phone there?” Dean said grabbing his car keys.

“I don’t know man, but we need to check it out” Sam said following his brother.

Y/N was with a person in the cemetery that she followed when she was walking with Sam. That person looked like Gabriel, her best friend, but I wasn’t him. She had a feeling that something was different in the whole place, like she was in a different alternative.

Sam and Dean found Y/N near a grave; they approached her with caution, they didn’t want to scare her. Dean sat next to her; she looked at him with a sad face. He could tell that something had happened to her when she was alone. “It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it, but let’s go home its getting dark” Dean said hugging her and tossing the car keys to Sam.

The trip back to the bunker was silent, Dean never left Y/N, he had an arm around her to let her know that everything was fine. When they arrived to the bunker, they went to the library to speak with her; Y/N was willing to do it.

“Why did you leave me Y/N? I was so worried about you.” Sam said with those puppy eyes he makes.

“I thought that I recognize someone, so I followed to the cemetery, but I was mistaken. I’m sorry to worry you. I didn’t mean to.”  Y/N said with an apologetic look.

“Its ok sweetheart, but next time, let us know.” Dean said assuring Y/N that they weren’t mad at her. “And, if you don’t mind asking, who was this person you followed?” Dean asked curiously.

“You might not believe me, but when I was walking with Sam, I saw that there was a person who was in the other side of the street, watching us carefully, and every time I looked at it, either started walking to the other direction we were heading, or looked to other side like waiting for someone. And always was with a different hat.” Y/N started talking- “At first, I thought that was my mind making it up but then I saw this person’s face and recognize it, so I followed him.” She was interrupted by Sam “So, that’s why you were a little behind me”. “Yeah, and that’s when I saw his face. When you got distracted, I crossed the street and started following him. He went directly to the cemetery, and sat in the bench in front of a grave pretty old. The same bench you found me.”

“Did you talk to him?” Dean interrupted Y/N. “Yes, I wanted to see his face. Unfortunately, I was mistaken. I apologized to the person, and this person left.  And that’s when you found me.” Y/N finished talking.  She was really upset and embarrassed of what had happened.

“Sweetheart, everything is ok. Don’t worry” Sam assured Y/N.

“I’m going to my room to get shower and study a little before dinner. It’s ok?”  Y/N asked to her brothers.

“Of course Y/N/N. Go and do whatever you need. We will let you know when dinner is ready. Don’t worry about anything”. Dean said, and kissed her forehead.

Y/N left the library and went directly to her bedroom. She had told her brothers what had happened after she left Sam and followed this person. That part of the story was true, but she didn’t tell them the whole story.

When Y/N got to the cemetery, this person was in the bench looking at an old grave; when she approached him, this person left a piece of paper on the bench and left, giving no time to Y/N to asked who was it. The grave had two things, a name and a sad and happy mask, the name of the grave was “Gabriel”. She knew that it was a message from his best friend; and the piece of paper was a letter.

Dear Y/N:

I know you might hate me because of this, but it was the only thing that came up to my mind to show you what we talked. And, of course, I wanted to have a little fun with you. I’m sorry that I had to do it this way, but I hope, I really hope, you could understand that your life is perfect the way it is; and the minimum change you make, it can be disastrous. You are special, don’t ever change it.

I hope you forgive me. Lots of love

PS: Next time you want to wish something, think it twice.

The Trickster

Y/N knew it was him. It’s something that he always does. Y/N went to get shower, and then she went to bed. She wanted to wake up and finish what Gabriel had made up.

Y/N wake up in the middle of the night, she went to the kitchen to refill her glass with water. That’s when she found her brothers talking.

“What are you doing up so late?” Y/N asked her brothers.

“We weren’t able to sleep, you?” Sam said.

“I’m thirsty.” Y/N said and before refilling her glass, she hugged Sam first and the Dean. “Sorry about last night, I love you both. My life is perfect with you two” Y/N said before leaving the kitchen.

Sam and Dean weren’t able to say anything because Y/N had already left the kitchen.

“What was all that about?” Dean asked surprised.

“I don’t know” Sam answered- “But let’s get to bed now, so tomorrow we can celebrate her birthday”. Sam finally said before heading to his room.

[wildflowerwattpad0217]

Long Time, No See: a Sherlock x OC Fanfic. My reaction after two years.

This story has spoilers for this fanfic, if you would like to read it before hand here is the link:

Long Time, No See

Masterlist

Each paragraph is a chapter.

Did I recycle names because I really did like the name Samara and didn't think it was getting enough love? Yes, I did. This is the prologue, explaining Sherlock and Samara's past together up until she leaves, moving in with her father and her 'half-brother' who just happens to be the evil James Moriarty. Then there is a cameo at the end by A.G.R.A.

This is creepy tbh. She was protecting him. So her father ended up being abusive, and to run away from it all she faked her death. Legally her last name is now Moriarty but she prefers Finley. It's always nice when you even surprise Mycroft. She's Queenie, best hacker in the world.

John trying to make small talk with Samara well she is making a firewall for the British government. John and Sherlock after finding out her sleep schedule is forcing her to go to bed. Sherlock admitted to John about being in love with her. I love Sherlock and Samara's dynamic.

A severed head in the fridge. When the blog Sherlock doesn't like is also the reason is his best friend is back with him after she read the last name, Moriarty. Sam coming to Sherlock's defense when coming to him deleting the solar system from his mind palace. She is so not bother by the fact there was a piece of glass in her face. Sherlock and Mycroft's sibling rilvarly tho. Scotland Yard is shaking at the idea of two Sherlocks.

A game of war. Moriarty. Carl Powers, their first case. Time to finish what they started. She got into the system. Botox. Her father run an insurance fraud ring.

It's time for war. He knows something she doesn't. She says she's more powerful than Mycroft and tbh she's not wrong. Moriarty isn't wrong tho. Hacking is her drug... Samara has a few ideas.

Yeah, Sherlock is going to ask about that later. That was a quick case. And a small bit of the truth comes out. Connie Prince.

Sherlock and Sam are freaking out Lestrade and it's perfect. Everyone who knows Sherlock always has the same questions for Sam. She defused that tension quickly. Sherlock has been almost killed a lot, if it hadn't been for Sam he and Mycoft would probably be dead.

This chapter just shows everyone how much pull she has any underground community. The way even the golem owes her favors and is on a nickname basis with him. The Van Buren supernova. She is going to kill her brother.

I do agree, it's time to fulfill that promise. King Midas just warned Sam about what her brother is planning. They are full siblings not just half siblings. This scene right here, proves even more to Sherlock how deep she is in the community how powerful she is that not even the assassins no matter how much they are being paid they will be loyal to Queenie.

Sherlock was wondering if her and King Midas ever dated and she was like sweetie he's gay. To which he let out a sigh of relief. She is going to the Buckingham palace in workout clothes at least it's not a sheet. All Hail John Watson, the king is sass. Samara, the bisexual icon. Irene Adler is her ex girlfriend.

Samara just saying she should have just broke it and it would have been less chit chat. She really does have a death wish, doesn't she? And Irene knows it too and annoyed with it. I forgot I made her an ex-sex addict.

She picked pocketed Sam's phone. When Sam uses Sherlock's actual first name, William. Then threatens to call his mother if he doesn't apologize. Irene Adler is dead.

Sherlock's worried about Sam. Sam fell in love with Irene, that was her mistake. She cut her brother's toe off with gardening shears. Sherlock doesn't know if he loves Sam. Never mind he does. Sam knows Irene is not dead. Sam had a rag of chloroform in her pocket, that's a little concerning tbh.

They started dating, Sam and Sherlock did. The tortured Soul reference though. If you don't know tortured soul is my Harry Potter fanfic and Athens is main character. When her brother calls her and says their parents wear assassinated. Irene Adler was sleeping in Sherlock's room. Irene pissed off Sam so she went to the gym and went Sherlock followed her he scared the shit out of her and she pinned him down.

Samara insulting Mycroft. Sam is pissed that Irene she's not even using her name she just saying Miss Adler. And Irene's just in shock everyone's in shock about how mad she is. Irene was under the command of James, her brother when she was with her. Irene admitted that she loved her but Samara said that she just realized that she never loved her and that she was a fill-in for Sherlock.

Irene Adler is dead. Her brother is calling her. She just has to go to the house to pick up some old photos of her and Sherlock that she hid underneath the floorboards. The moment she sees her brother she slaps him and don't blame her though. They're going to burn down the house that they were abused in because FUCK their father. And she is trying not to have a sibling bonding moment. And he just said shut up and listen. James was the one to put the hit out on them.

Sherlock planned romantic evening for him and Sam. So she gets a text from the American White House and then from her brother. She was a witness against her brother. Sherlock's in contempt for showing off.

James was found not guilty. Sam calling him out on his bullshit about the computer code. She is the queen of all hackers she would know if that code existed it doesn't. Assassins that Sam don't know are moving in around her and she doesn't like it. Penelope Garcia. So fun fact, there were two shows that I was debating for her to go to during the time Sherlock was in hiding taking down morarities web and one of them was NCIS LA and the one I actually went for was criminal minds cuz I thought about NCIS LA because of the fact I could explore her disguises and undercover identities but I decided with criminal minds and the FBI BAU because I just thought it would be better for her.

She just said his real first name again, he's in trouble. Breadcrumbs. The American President is offering her to work for the FBI for two year and then she'll be pardoned in America.

During the raid on Adlestone someone Chloroformed Samara and cut her wrists. She woke up in the hospital and she walked out of there. Just to see her brother's face in a cab. When Sherlock asked Sam if she 100 percent sure positive that she believes in him. I love that she just look at him and goes "Bloody hell, I am. You've been doing this longer than you have known me, Sherlock. Of course, I am sure." And I love that.

That's a good point. Does it count if they don't say his actual first name? She really just jumped out the window, didn't she? (Kitty Riley)-They won't hurt you infront of witnesses, Richard. (Samara)-Bet (Sherlock and John)- Sam no!| When she has her brother birth certificate to prove his existince. He just realized the fall wasn't a metaphor for anything. Sam just told Mycoft the key code isn't real and just realized how much he fucked up.

Sam knows something is up with Sherlock. He's on the rooftop. Sherlock is dead. Sherlock told her to accept the offer so she did. Greg is a good friend.

Hello FBI BAU. Penelope Garcia, her old friend. Fun facts, she's the one who taught Garcia how to hack, well at least in the store she did. She started deducing them already. Irene Adler. The team doesn't know she faked her death for a period of time. CIA agent Nielsen. The assassin after is the golem and the reason Irene went after her specifically is so she could get the golem off her back. And James may have a twin Richard Brooke.

Why wouldn't you do an autopsy on the criminal that almost beat Sherlock Holmes. She got her to give up the flash drive though. She just found out Sherlock saved Irene.

Sherlock os back from the dead. When they got to her apartment they has sex. Her last night in the US she played the piano for the team.

She is back in London. The people waiting for her at the airport is Sherlock, John and an old face she hasn't seen in a long time, Rose. But she's introduced as Mary. It's weird to see Sherlock flirt. Before he's so Samara at the FBI field office he didn't deduce anyone because he was so focused on seeing Sam again. They both just said no to a case. Sam was like not till Sherlock's done eating. Then Sherlock was like come back tomorrow we have plans today. They had a cute date night.

Samara and Mary AKA Rose are meeting for lunch. A.G.R.A. Sam just found out the whole team's dead. And she's Mary's maid of honor. Mary and John are taking bets on a Samara going to propose to Sherlock or is Sherlock going to propose to Samara. Telegrams. Sherlock's emotional part to his speech. Now to the funny stories. Samara really nailed it on the dot didn't she?

The major was stabbed and locked himself in his room. Sam and Sherlock are talking about their future.

A month after the wedding, Sherlock is found in a drug house. She walks into the hospital saying his full name, William Sherlock Scott Holmes. Charles Augustus Magnussen. I love Mycroft calling Samara out saying stop with that look and then her saying what luck and then him replying the look that says I know something you don't because it's connected to my past but I'm not going to reveal the until it's time. Her brother would be jealous of how Sherlock describes this criminal. Time for Samara to act like Queenie. He threatens Sherlock, she threatens his sister and his niece.

Charles is scared of Queenie. Sherlock just got shot by Mary. Samara ripped into Mary for for shooting her best friend. Sherlock knows that if Mary kills him Sam will kill Mary.

Sam admitted to being a big part of the lie. Sam explained that she is the reason Mary got in to his office. When Sam threatens every single assassin that if they even touch a member of the Holmes family they will be tortured. Then Sam admits psycho runs in the family. Sherlock just killed Charles Magnussen. Before getting on the plane, Sherlock asked Sam to move on from him. Then countrywide video of her brother saying did you miss me.

Mycroft pulled Sherlock from The deadly mission. Samara told John about Irene Adler while she was in America and Richard Brooke. Sam and Sherlock are going to be godparents. Sam just put Sherlock's phone in her bra to get him to stop texting. And they babysit baby Watson it's adorable. The Charlie Welsborough case. And something just caught Sherlock's attention.

Time for her to go to a payphone. On the other line was Ajay, cleaning Rose betrayed them. She's going to go talk to Rose. Sam had Mary tell her exactly how it played out. Now she has to talk to Ajay again.

John replaced himself with a balloon I always find that bit funny. I always find this episode funny because he goes on to lie to the sky saying that his wife's a spot and she's working for James and the just to find out she willing left him. I feel like it's all so proof that Sherlock Holmes has a sense of humor. Sherlock now knows that the bust breaking has something to do with A.G.R.A. Why is Garcia's ex calling her? He's warning her, saying she's in danger. James is alive. Her brother is alive.

Sherlock knows he's alive now, and so does Mary and John. Sherlock just found out A.G.R.A. is an organization of multiple people not just Mary's initials. He asked her to go back to the flat. Penelope Garcia now knows that Sam's brother had her ex-boyfriend at gunpoint. And Garcia just told Sam that Irene Adler is dead. Morocco. Mary forgot that Sam put tracking devices in the USBs. Queenie was A.G.R.A.s biggest secret. John just said Sam's main priority is keeping Sherlock alive. Sam is like a mother and she would be an awesome mother. Cuz she just made Ajay in the middle of pointing a gun at Mary made him give it up and threatened to smack him in the backside of the head.

Old habits die hard? I forgot I wrote that part. They really didn't think she was going to investigate Ammo? To the aquarium we go. Queenie is considered a reliable killer. Sam just pushed Sherlock out of the way of a bullet, hitting her. However, she's laughing because her jacket is made out of Kevlar. Sherlock still me to go to the hospital though.

Sherlock is going to propose. Sam suspect something and it's driving her crazy. She said yes.

She's telling her team that was back in America and about her brother they seem to be happy about the marriage but concerned about James. John convinced them to at least have a small wedding.

Sherlock was in a coma.That's my filling for the culverton Smith episode. Sherlock's secret sister. She hacked the British government to find out where Sherlock's sister was being held. The motion sensor bomb drone.

They broke into the facility, Sherlock didn't want Samara to go but Samara didn't give him a choice. Mycroft and Sam have such a brother sister relationship. And the facility has been compromised. The little girl in the plane. James praised her hacking skill to Sherlock's sister. And we are left on that scene where John's about to kill the governor.

John couldn't do it and hand it off to Sam. Sam took it without hesitation, apologized then shot him. The three are shook. Back to little girl. Sam has had enough of Mycroft's sass. Back to little girl after going into a room with only a computer. Oh shit Sam's pregnant.

Sam was knocked out before she got into the other room. And woke up in a different room without anyone else in there, well except her brother and Sebastian Moran. And Sebastian turns out to be an old fling. After her brother left, she was tortured and then knocked out. She woke up in the hospital. Samara had a miscarriage. Which led to a serious talk about them having kids in the future.

It's time for the wedding chapter. Her maid of honor is Mary. Her bridesmaids are Garcia and JJ. Sherlock's best man is John. His groomsman are Greg and his brother. Right now she's picking everyone up from the airport. The team is finding out about Sherlock's secret sister and that she was pregnant and then had a miscarriage. The vows are so sweet, they're officially married now.

He is so sweet. Sherlock can't cook and I find that funny. James has made an appearance in the flat. Lestrade came with a case. The bodies said "For Queenie" on them and you didn't want to tell Queenie.

She's confronting her crazy fan. He revealed the Oracle is alive. Oracle is the first person she ever killed it was in self-defense, but still. She's going to attempt to recruit her brother to keep on her side. James agreed to be on her side.

Samara is pregnant again. Sherlock is shook but happy. Mycroft has decided that the child will be spoiled. Greg has a thing for Mycroft. And James just found that she's pregnant.

The first ultrasound. The person claiming to be the oracle, his daughter. She didn't know how bad of a person her father was, harming 38 women.

The final chapter, it's a girl. Sacora Faith Holmes. I remember when I came up with that name for the kid, I was actually and study hall of my junior year of high school and I had everything planned out for the story in a notebook and that's what I would do during study hall. She has blue eyes. Her first word was crime scene. In the end Rosie and Sacora end up dating.

Overall, it is probably one of my better stories. I do notice in these stories I did forget to put a trigger warning. So my final rating is 9/10, took a point out for missing a trigger warning.

[meduseld]

Samuel Reese never thought much of Hope County. 

From Billings, the closest thing to a big city around, and the only, unexpected and much prayed for, and therefore very coddled, son of a well to-do much older couple, he saw it as a stepping stone. Not even a proving ground, he'd had that with his fullride scholarship to Montana State. He was supposed to be the rising star, the native son who would make it to Congress at least, if not all the way to the Oval Office in one capacity or another. Being Jewish, even if he wasn’t faithful, might make the Highest Office hard to swing. Becoming an AUSA was the obvious choice, and being stuck with a crappy backwater was only to be expected. He could smile and gladhand and pretend that he thought being given the shit jobs as a newbie hazing in the smallest county office, only himself and a useless, usually drunk boss was just peachy keen and an awesome learning experience!

(Now that’s a Man With a Plan, as played by Zach Gilford)

The fucked up part is he actually kind of...liked John Seed. At the very least he was interesting, a challenge, and charming even when Sam was looking into accusations of real estate fraud and extortion. It beat yet another case of drugs use/smuggling/cooking gone wrong or parole violations. If he sees the name Boshaw on a report one more time he’s going to scream. Until the day he’s working late, wondering how that warrant on the Seeds is gonna shake out when armed Peggies storm their tiny joke of an office and kill everybody else.

That’s when he finds out John has a plan for him, fixated on him, asked the Father to keep him, to turn him to their side. The first thing he does? Carve P-R-I-D-E onto Sam’s stomach and tattoo him with an Eden’s Gate cross at the back of his neck. 

And then Sam’s life turns into a crazy carnival of attempted survival, as John’s. Something. Sometimes he wants to rant about his brothers and hear Sam tell him they just don’t understand. Sometimes he wants to be held while he talks about his foster parents. Sometimes he wants to talk shop, whether that’s the Law or what Sam can hear happening in the other rooms in the house, to “sinners”. Sometimes Sam’s very existence seems to piss him off. Sometimes he walks in, stares at him, and leaves without saying a word. He tries to keep his eyes open for escape or useful info, even when he’s drowning in the guilt of being alive and how he can feel himself softening to John even when he knows he shouldn’t even if he knows Stockholm Syndrome is a thing.

He tries to help Joey, he knows her, he worked with her when the world made sense. John uses them against each other gleefully. Until the Dep helps them escape. 

Looking like this:

Sam tells them everything useful he knows, and all he can remember. Then he gets drunk, stumbles into Mary May’s and asks who the fuck in there knows how to tattoo. On the inside of his left forearm, where he can always look at it and remember himself, he gets Salome holding the severed head of John The Baptist (no one has the heart to tell him it’s kinda. too sexual). And he tries to stay alive, and try to stop caring about John, wondering if he’s ok, or thinking about who is holding him after his nightmares now.