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#like that it’s a given she’s everywhere
6ives · 3 days
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ATTENTION, toji x m! Reader TW mention of blood, violence, yandere theme ps. romanticizing yandere behavior is sick, get help pls🙏🙏
TOJI LOST HIS ability to love ever since the death of his dear wife. he viewed the world as a dark abyss that he’ll never find happiness from ever again. he loathed it, despised every moment he was in it. he spend his nights alone, lonely and miserable. some nights, he was out killing— the only thing that kept him occupied before he gets overwhelmed by his own presence.
there was a boy he called ‘son’, but he was sure that boy hated him for reasons he knew why. he couldn’t blame his kid, it was his fault— for not being a good father. he was afraid that he might reflect his own past onto his son, and his wife knew that for she had given the child to gojo, seeking care for her son.
toji’s life was an endless cycle, everyday was the same, seemingly never ending. that was, until he met you. you were everything, with your luscious [h.c] locks and eyes that glowed under the moonlight, your touch melted onto his skin and he never seemed to get over it.
you had that man wrapped around your fingers.
but you didn’t notice the power you held over him, about how you could end up swooning him up with a simple stare of yours. and before you knew it, he was already obsessed. he was too afraid to love that when he met a man like you, he ended up being afraid of loosing the love.
he would go even as far as killing someone for you. it wasn’t as if he was inexperienced in this field. he used to take off people without a purpose— money flooded in of course, but it didn’t satisfy his soul. nevertheless, he has you. now every life he takes has a purpose behind it, it was worth something for him now. he felt warm, unlike that same old dreading cold feeling that he always had.
you were again oblivious to his actions, you saw him as a good friend— unable to do any harm. why would he? he was a father. you always thought of him in that way, a harmless father who was trying his best. at least that’s what you think of him. but you couldn’t say that anymore, not with the sight in front of you.
your wife.
she was on the floor, her apron spilled with blood as it slowly smeared down on the ground. her hair was sprawled everywhere, sticking onto the fresh blood and then, your stomach dropped. who would do such a thing? you wondered, tears bubbled around your eyes.
breathing got heavier as your hands trembled, cold sweat ran down your spine. why her? your lips quivered, blinking the tears away as you fell on the floor, the bags of fruits smashed on the wooden ground, rolling away from the plastic bag that you were carrying. “ka..kazemi?” your voice broke.
your cry got louder, as you crawled to her body, taking her head and placing it on your lap, “wake up, my dear” you slapped her face lightly— hoping she would hear your sorrowful cries and somehow open her eyes. “please..”
you took the hair off her face, tracing all her features with your thumb, as tears rolled down your eyes before finally breaking down, wrapping your warm arms around her cold figure, you weeped. “kazemi.. how.. how could anyone do such a thing to you?” your whole body shook as you cradled her in her arms.
“did you like my little present?”
a voice rang through the cold room as your breath hitched, you knew that voice— maybe a little too much. “toji?” he stood near your bedroom, arms crossed each other as you held your wife even closer to you, slowly looking up at the man in front of you, you doubted if he was even a man at that moment, he was nothing but a monster in your eyes now.
”present..?” you quietly muttered, scrunching your nose, “present?” your voice raised, brows furrowing. “are you sick?” you shouted, carefully placing your wife down and walking towards toji, breathing heavily.
“so you do like it,” a smirk curved onto his face, and you loathed it.
without even a thought, a punch was thrown at him, startling him. “you murderer! you sick fuck,” you cursed, pouncing onto him. anger controlled you, and the man underneath you did nothing but smile.
at least your attention was on him now.
I sometimes forget I hv a tumblr acc, mb guys🙏🥶
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idontliekmondays · 17 hours
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excerpts from lindsay's old classmate
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1.28.13 I have really tried to like Lilith but after two weeks with her I can't. My thinking on it is she hasn't given a reason to like her. It's more like she tries to complain, storm off, be rude, and ignore the rest of us as much as she can. Her special skill is that she can walk anywhere in high heels.
2.05.13 Lilith did not get any roti because she decided to stay in her room the whole day.
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Dance lessons. And a full shot of me in uniform. Thai dancing does not require a lot of movement so it can be done in a pencil skirt. Left side, front to back: Deanna, Me, Donna, Lilith. Right side: Dance teacher, Karen.
2.07.13 (I have mentioned before that Lilith gets motion sick. So today instead of getting in the front seat like she's supposed to she climbed in the back of the songthaew with everyone else. The whole time I'm praying in my head "Don't throw up everywhere, don't throw up everywhere" because she started looking sick about half-way through the trip back. I really do not understand her logic).
Drexler is forcing Lilith to go to yoga or meditation (it's so nice she's paying all this money to go to another country to sit in her room on the computer all day.)
2.08.13 More creepy messages from Lilith's talking horse doodle today. She told us that she gets all these from a tumblr account called Crazy Horse(?). I also don't think she gets what all of them mean, because the horse's first message today was "Pumpkin Jokes.PDF". Really confused on that one. She erased that and had the horse say "Becoming a bounty hunter is not easy but I am here." I can see these two coming from a tumblr account, though they make zero sense to me. She then drew a dog and gave it this dialogue "Timid little girls she never put fairies on the summer gathering place for the Nazi elite." I'm really getting freaked out by some of her messages and was very thankful when Ajan Pranut (our afternoon teacher today) erased them.
2.11.13 Watched Lilith fight with a bee for her cake. She hates insects so she literally flew from her chair to get away from it. Then thought swearing would shoo it away. The bee cared more about the cake.
2.13.13 Originally I was going to say writer but Lilith wants to be a writer (today's creepy horse message was "Bring me all the people and I will make sure they are burning." Don't think I want to see anymore of her work)
When everyone returned we had a review session (except Niko and Lilith because her boyfriend broke up with her today. Most of us had to take a moment to go "You had a boyfriend??").
2.14.13 Last post I said Lilith's boyfriend broke up with her. Today she was excused from half of our midterm because she told Drexler she was up all night. Later, Donna informed me that she had downed a whole bottle of wine to help deal with her feelings. That's definitely healthy (sarcasm).
2.15.13 Drexler informed me he was forcing Lilith and myself to go to Tai Chi today with his wife Barbara.
Lilith stood there most of the time refusing to follow the movements and afterwards said "It wasn't her thing". For those who know Lilith at Coe, I saw her wearing ballet flats today, not heels!!
We complained about Lilith and Donna told us the funny story of how at Multicultural fusion orientation, where every African American freshman was, Lilith announced that she hated black people during her introduction. If you ever wanted a stupid idea, here's one of the dumbest ones ever. She has not been invited back since.
2.18.13 Lilith grossed everyone at her table out by hogging the delicious fried chicken, eating it with her fingers, and dipping her spoon (the only utensil that goes in your mouth besides chopsticks) into the soup. I feel Barbara has caught on to her.
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Some of the people I'm here with. From left to right: Lilith, Niko, our guide/the Dean, Alessa. This temple was at the second ruins. I think it was a temple.
2.20.13 Forgot about going to Tai Chi today so got going a little later than planned. Lilith did not join us this time (my prayers have been answered!!) so she will be forced to go to yoga or something else. Barbara is the type of teacher who believes that if we talk to her we will realize she's just shy, not a bad person. This makes me remember she has a Hitler poster in her single at Coe. I don't think we'll be painting each others toe nails and gossiping about boys any time this lifetime. Or the next.
2.22.13 On the way back from buying detergent I walked past Lilith who made a point of ignoring me. I get the feeling she doesn't want to be friends.
2.28.13 Lilith's creepy horse message of the day was "Is the dance floor calling? No."
Lilith, who's half Laotian and this was her first time visiting Laos, spent her time in her room on her computer. Again I wonder why she came on this trip.
3.03.13 The other skit was... awkward. Lilith was randomly sitting on the ground talking about absinthe and Deanna happily stormed out at the end.
3.11.13 I had to sit by Lilith who dressed herself as a hooker. If my grandma saw the way she was dressed, that would be the first word out of her mouth. She bought some platform high heels that don't have a heel. I will take a creeper picture when I get the chance because they are so outrageous. They look like Lady Gaga shoes as a better description.
3.15.13 One thing I did edit out was how completely disgusting and rude Lilith was today. She actually belched at one of the Vietnamese students. Her behavior ranged from obnoxious to 'I was raised in a cave by monkeys'. The students were very concerned that she wasn't having fun.
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3.18.13 Watched Drexler try to talk to Lilith about some issues that she has been causing but we watched their body language get more and more closed so it was probably not successful.
3.26.13 When you get out of an elevator it is a common prank to push all the other buttons. Instead, I pushed all the buttons on the way up to our floor. Deanna and Donna took it as a joke but you could feel the loathing rolling off Lilith in waves so much it scared the others. I am not sad to say it made me happy to make her angry. I am a terrible person, but she is worse. One story the host students keep talking about often is how when Lilith showed up at her host's house she asked for potato chips. When none were given she asked to be taken to the bar.
3.30.13 Had to sit by Lilith. Again. I'm starting to believe that I am put in charge of her, that Drexler thinks I can handle this responsibility.
We are the first Asia Term to come here. It's all thanks to Lilith who's half Laotian and her dad wanting her to meet his side of the family. That's happening tomorrow. Perhaps getting sick suddenly would be the ideal way to deal with meeting a family of Nazis. This is her first time meeting her dad's family so we are expecting her to hate them immensely and the day to be awkward or they will make her their new leader.
3.31.13 She decided to wear her hooker shirt today to meet her dad's family for the first time. Hope she doesn't regret that later on.
4.04.13 In previous years Asia Term has been there for a week but because Lindsay wanted to meet her relatives our time in Cambodia has been cut down.
4.25.13 Lilith has gotten on everyones last nerve. Including Drexler's. It's a good thing we're coming home in a little bit.
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greenlight · 8 months
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dootznbootz · 26 days
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Do y'all ever think about how it's possible that Zeus' first verse in Thunder Bringer is about Penelope and his second is about Odysseus?
She's a "Damsel in Distress" (She's cool af, she just needs some help and misses her idiot), the suitors are prideful and hope to do what Zeus is singing about to her. Pressuring her to choose. Her "true nature" is revealed when her trickery with the shroud is found out .
The 2nd Verse about how Zeus is also the God of Justice and punishing them for the crew's crime of slaying the cattle. Odysseus saves himself to see Penelope again, meaning his crew/people will die. They died for touching Helios' cattle. Odysseus also saves himself AND Helps Penelope by killing all the suitors for their crime of flirting with/bothering Penelope and making her cry, while also bullying and eventually planning to kill his son. Many of Ithaca's men are killed for their pride too. Thinking that they're worthy of Penelope when Nobody is. Flirt with the Wife, you get the knife.
Penelope and Odysseus DO take each others' suffering away when they reunite as well. 🥹
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feroluce · 7 months
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Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.
Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks
Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.
And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.
So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.
He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.
Caelus doesn't have any of that.
He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.
And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.
So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-
("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")
-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.
Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.
(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)
((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."
And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.
And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.
The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))
#caelus#sampo koski#hsr caelus#hsr sampo#sampo & caelus#honkai star rail#hsr#my fics#me a few days ago: my favorite silly little guys uwu#me today: ANGST#honestly I feel like this isn't even a super strong angst though#it's more just. bittersweet? melancholic? something.#I JUST. REALLY LOVE STORIES ABOUT THE NATURE OF GRIEF#and 2.0 laid the groundwork for that beautifully woohoo#I just remembered this probably isn't common knowledge oops but April is the cute red haired girl in Funny Bone#her name was revealed by the creators on twitter. she's named April like April Fools!#anyway I ship it hardcore now thanks bucket boi & studio#but anyway yes I love and adore the loneliness of the trailblazer's loss and grief after 2.0#because we know from Sunday that Firefly is “spiritually dead” but the trailblazer wouldn't have that knowledge#and they wouldn't know her identity or about any of her connections to other people#and I love that juxtaposed against Sampo and the possible strange nature of his own grief-#-given how the Masked Fools operate and how they see Elation in everything and everywhere#Sampo is no saint- like at all lol- but I do like him and Caelus getting along and being bros#and I don't think it would be terribly ooc for him to care about someone he sees as a genuine friend#he maybe rarely considers someone a genuine friend. but still dmxjjdjdk#listening to Sam's boss theme as I tag this... have been listening to it a lot ever since I finished 2.0 tbh#it's probably what inspired a lot of this haha#because it does sound strong and intimidating and imposing#but you can hear it#the heartbreak
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kismetconstellations · 3 months
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i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) x.
#Takashi Shirogane#Shiro#You're nothingness but shining and everywhere at once.#Allura#The Silver-Haired Princess and Her Silver-Haired Paladin.#Voltron: Legendary Defender#Mine.#I have so many many many thoughts regarding these two.#How both of them were directly victimized by the Galra Empire#and Zarkon#himself#and find themselves in positions of leadership at the forefront of an intergalactic war despite the fact that Allura is a teenaged genocide#survivor who still misses her father and Shiro is a deeply scarred and traumatized pilot-turned-gladiator-against-his-will and neither one#of them have had the space or time to process either of these things.#How differently they handle the immense grief the Galra have caused them.#And that even though they find themselves diametrically opposed to each other's beliefs concerning Ulaz and the Blades they still trust#one another implicitly.#That Shiro looks so much like Alfor it's actually crazy.#How Allura unknowingly made Shiro relive the trauma of losing his crew when she allowed herself to be captured because they're both#inherently self-sacrificing and all-too willing to martyr themselves for the sake of others.#Allura carrying Shiro's essence inside of her before magically transferring it into the clone's body#and how it not only bleached Shiro's hair but is implied to have altered his DNA given his later interactions with the Balmeran crystals#used to power his arm and the Atlas.#That the new arm was Allura's idea and she willingly sacrificed a piece of her heritage for it and for Shiro.#The way they play off of each other when given a moment of levity and all of the potential that was wasted because the writing on this show#is an unbelievably frustrating mess.#In a perfect world where the notorious Season Eight doesn't exist or was competently handled#Shiro is part of Allura's bridal party and the godfather of her and Lance's children.#And he never attempts to dye or change his hair because he loves having a reminder of everything that Allura has done for him and their#importance to and connection with each other readily apparent every time he sees himself in the mirror.
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faaun · 5 months
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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crystallizsch · 4 months
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hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)
(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)
https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk
^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:
Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?
Was I a monster from the start?
How did I end up with this frozen heart?
Bringing destruction to the stage
Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage
anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)
-diodellet
(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)
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very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.
evil ice queen vibes :3
also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.
also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)
(read more below because it got SO long)
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AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —
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— with this entire post
AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA
i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀
but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over
also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨
(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)
hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪
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⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️
i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)
anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.
but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.
so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.
since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.
uh anyways onto the elsa parts
Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage
THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material
and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)
(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)
anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.
and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.
ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)
there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.
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also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3
yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.
the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.
there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)
the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.
so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.
so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.
but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.
then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.
(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway—)
another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha
lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music
the songs are such a vibe
her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖
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bardicbird · 1 month
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sure i can get behind the ‘sopping wet sad cat of a man seeing the horrors’ theme thats going on for more popular horror podcasts BUT . when will we get sopping wet sad cat woman, nonbinary people. sigh. i always have to do everything myself (goes back to plotting my butch4butch lesbian supernatural murder mystery podcast that will probably never see the light of day)
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caimitos · 4 months
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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caffemochachoco · 10 months
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mahiru drawing to pair with the kotoko one :3
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HonestlyYYYY!! Though now you intimidate me more, you're clearly a big league pharmacist. I just took a summer class to be a techie.
Though like the rude customers are both understandable (miserable, pain, feel icky) but also not because du d e it's not our fault the doctor did the wrong stuff
Don't be afraid, I'm really just tired or confused all the time😭
But yes, I've became kind of sus(?) of doctors now. I have a lot of things I could tell, like when this newly appointed doctor gave her first med to her own grandma - which is a family's friend - and I turned pale after hearing what drug she gave her.
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thefirstknife · 2 years
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I saw some confusion among people thinking that Eramis' appearance was random and that she had no business being on the station with access to the Warsats. I'd like to try and clarify some stuff about that.
Eramis was a constant presence this season; more so than Xivu Arath. It has been explained that Xivu Arath cannot invade with her army until the specifics of a ritual are fulfilled and that moving her army through the ascendant plane takes an extraordinary amount of energy and resources.
Some of Xivu's forces were here and acting on her behalf, yes, but largely the main enemy this season was Eramis. Eramis is already in the system and was very explicitly used by the Witness as the one who would act often and faster. The Witness spent a lot of time turning Eramis' friends and soldiers into Scorn for this purpose.
These Scorn are the ones that had the Seraph Station under constant siege. Every time we attack Seraph Station, it's canon because Scorn come back to life so every time we clear it, we have to do it anew. They've been digging in the Station for months, trying to gain access to the Warsat network and preparing for the final assault.
Eramis was not randomly on the Seraph Station; she was there because she's been trying to get there for months. We were fighting their attempts by uploading a virus into the network each time we're there, but that's never been a certain way of stopping Eramis and the Scorn army from wrestling control over the network away. Which is the point of us having to do it multiple times.
I know the Seraph's Shield mission only played dialogue once so if anyone needs a refresher:
Elsie Bray: I've gained remote access to the launch facility's subsystems, but someone is already in here. House Salvation Splicers are hacking the launch mainframe.
Eramis had splicers working on hacking into the station. As a matter of fact, they gained access to the station first.
Ana Bray: She's here? Of course. That must be how Xivu Arath plans of co-opting the Warsat network. The Hive can't do it on their own, so the Witness sends Eramis and her Splicers in to assist.
Ana explaining how Eramis being there makes sense because Xivu cannot gain access to the Warsats on her own, she needs Eramis to assist.
The whole seasonal story hinges on Eramis hacking the station to get to the Warsats and the Seraph's Shield mission was explicitly about us trying to stop her week by week. It just so happens that she succeeded hacking it at the end, before Rasputin was fully operational and ready to be uploaded without negative consequences.
Is the setup a little bit clunky? I think so, yeah, because the whole season is doomed from the start. We have to stop our enemies but it's the nature of the end-of-the-year story for enemies to win in some capacity. I also think that we didn't really have to kill Rasputin for the same effect and for the enemies to somehow get the upper hand; I think it would've been fine if Rasputin simply had to destroy the Warmind stuff but that he could've remained with us as an Exo.
But Eramis having access to Seraph Station and the Warsat network is not random or out of nowhere nor is it nonsensical. That was her entire plan the whole season. Actually her first big win, possibly also saved her life. Not sure how many failures from Eramis the Witness would've tolerated.
I guess the issue is that with the current seasonal structure, we expect the seasonal goal to be fulfilled and for us to walk happily into the sunset until the next season because that's how it worked so far. It can feel like we've been fighting our enemies for 3 months for nothing given that we've essentially failed and it almost caused a catastrophe. But I'm not sure how else to create a story (seasonal or otherwise) where things don't go as planned or where we fail.
There were multiple fronts to fight on this season and there's one where we dodged a massive bullet; Xivu Arath. We lost to Eramis because we had to think about the bigger picture and that is Xivu's invasion. Our loss to Eramis also took the Warsats out of the equation now so that's also a loss to Xivu. It's what we needed; a stalemate. It's not flashy or happy, but it's better than the alternative which is Xivu Arath's portal over Earth. So in that regard we succeeded. We lost the Warsats and Rasputin and almost the Traveler, but all of that was to prevent Xivu Arath from invading which we managed. For now.
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elena-fishr · 1 month
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#Y’all don’t bring Nadine up unless you wanna fight 😭#I mentioned somewhere that I wish her scenes (those ‘boss fights’??) were cutscenes because the gameplay and player choice is an illusion#But that’s not an acceptable opinion to have I guess#Btw it has nothing to do with story or characters but THE GAME and the PLAYER#I’m ranting#But it’s because I was called an insecure man#I’m sorry?#People don’t even listen to you they just hear oh you don’t like Nadine then you can’t handle seeing a strong woman#But that wasn’t at all what I was saying#She can have those scenes where she kicks butt cuz that’s the point of her character in 4#But I’m not gonna pretend those sections are fun for me#I wish they were cutscenes#That is all#am I crazy? Am I hateful?#Gimme the L in a cutscene#I’ve also thought about this in DMC5#There’s an early boss fight that you’re meant to lose and I’m not so mad about that#After thinking about it it’s because player choice wasn’t taken away#You have all your move set and abilities and the ability to win is there you get a special ending#Nate can’t jump or roll or do his best because you’re given the illusion of playing but it’s only going down one way#And personally I don’t like it#Nothing to do with character or story it’s the illusion of gameplay that’s annoying to go thru#It’s taking things away from the player#Also in dmc5 there’s a forced walk section with V#It’s like less than a minute but it feels AWFUL especially in a game where everywhere else you have full character control#Giving control to the player is important#That’s why I think Mgs5 is so nice#You can infiltrate the same guard post an infinite amount of different ways#It’s up to you#im big boss and you are too
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crowned-peony · 2 months
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Tell me of a sentimental item(s) you have
I wanna listen to the story about who gave it to you or how you got it
Is it with you every day? Is it somewhere safe?
#Ill share mine♡#I have a ring from my grandmother a gold bracelet and silver bracelets from my mother a pandora bracelet from my in laws and a stitch plush#from my love#My grandmother one day saw my mom wearing a ring that matches my engagement ring and said how pretty#we werent even dating and completely forgot about black friday (my bday landed on that day that year) when he asked his mom to take#my mom told my grandma that i gave it to her (my mom) and next time my mom visited my grandma#my grandma comes out of her room holding a ring she had since she was a little girl!#my grandma was orphaned at 5 and stayed only a few years with her evil aunt and uncle (they took everything her parents left her)#and when she ran away was able to take back some of her mothers jewelry. My grandma wanted to trade rings with my mom#My grandma wears my ring every day and i wear hears#My mom gave me 7 silver (my fave precious metal) for my golden birthday and the gold bracelet has my family nickname on it#it was customed made with some of her leftover gold jewelry (we were poor and she had to pawn almost all she owned to pay bills#and lost so much when she couldnt repay money) my grandfather spoiled her and my aunts and uncle so much when he was alive#my mom doesnt regret pawning jewelry but she still hurts from losing it#The bracelet fits big on me (its one you need to use a pin to push down to unlock) and it can just slide out if i wiggle my wrist#The pandora bracelet is a simple silver one with heart lock and i only have 2 charms on it#a stich charm and a graduation charm. i got stitch with bracelet on Christmas a few years back and graduation when i got my bachelors#the stitch plush was given to me freshman year of high school by hubby#before we even stared dating#he forgot black friday (day my bday landed on) when he went to mall to get me a present#that stitch was my comfort item like it went almost everywhere with me (it has had to be restuffed twice cause he gotten flat)#and has stayed safe in plushie heaven for last 2 years (its a hanging pink net hammock for stuffed animals) cause#a giant squishmallow stitch is my pillow and a unicorn squishmallow (was my previous pillow) take up all the space
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bunnihearted · 4 months
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sorry but ppl on the internet are so naive when they genuinely believe the majority of people "hate capitalism".... that isnt anywhere near the truth. most people are sheep that just go along with what society says is right. when im out there and talk to "normal" people and listen to their convos they are literally pro capitalism. they talk about how the 8-5 work day 5/week is GOOD bc they get to work a lot and make "a lot" of money. many people will complain about unfair work hours and too big of a work load but they dont do anything more than complain... they wont vote for the left, they wont join unions, they wont stage protests or demonstrations... most ppl are like "omg fuck capitalism lmao ahhhaha fuck capitalism am i right???" but they still dont actually do anything to change it... because the entire point with capitalism is that it is comfortable and convenient. netflix and spotify is capitalism. ordering takeout is capitalism. having packages arrive to your door or close by is capitalism. concerts by your fav artists is capitalism. flying a plane to resorts all over the world is capitalism.... ppl only say "fuck capitalism" bc yes they're overworked and underpaid, but they dont actually want to live in a society without capitalism. it would mean a profound change of our entire reality as we've known it for centuries. it would be extreme. it would actually feel like it does in movies where the world is ending and society resets. it's too scary to actually go through with, and no one wants to do that. saving the planet and tearing down capitalism... would mean an extremely different world and life. no more driving your car to work and to the store and to the gym and back and forth to your parents or friends. no more going to multiple concerts every year. no more going to luxury resorts in ibiza or greece. no more online shopping. no more ordering takeout. the truth that nobody wants to admit, because no one wants to admit that they would choose to continue living in comfort even if it means destroying this planet, is that no. you dont hate capitalism. not truly. most people do not hate capitalism. if most people did... we wouldnt have the world we have now and always have had since capitalism was introduced. humans make this world. we get the world we deserve. and nature trying to kill us is what we deserve. it's like when we're sick and our bodies get fever to burn the virus. we are a virus. we could choose to stop. but we dont. only a small handful of people are willing to actually do what it takes to save earth. most ppl who make silly comments about oh my god fuck capitalism tihihihihi are not part of that small amount of people. it is sad, especially for the people who do get it, who do want to save earth, because we are such an extreme minority we have no power at all. the masses win. and the masses have chosen to live in greed and consumerism and comfort even if we'll pay the highest price thinkable.
#it's funny that it is called 9-5 when it is in truth 8-5 and many ppl work longer.....#not expecting anyone to read but i need to rant#i feel so alienated because i truly cannot relate to anyone#i wish i could find people like me in this world#but there seem to be so few of us it pains me to be this alone#i just dont respect people#people LIKE online shopping and owning things and travelling and going to concerts and and and and#they like it so much they think it's worth to sacrifice literally everything for it#i could live without any of that if it meant not hurting humans or animals or earth#i dont think humans need to have millions of concerts or every artist needs to have a concert#im just going on abt concerts bc that's one of the things that are the worst for the environment#and one of the things ppl conventiently forget to talk abt when it comes to environmental damage and capitalism#and like fireworks.. and bombs.. and nuclear power. we dont NEED any of that#but literally 10/10 ppl of you who read this will think that ummm u are dumb#ofc we need fireworks and bombs and nuclear!!! that's all profitable and fun and useful#so like yeah idk i truly cannot connect with any human i come across#and i dont respect any of the empty bullshit ppl talk abt everywhere#'fuck capitalism' 'save the earth' .. none of y'all give a fuck if it means u have to give up things u like and find fun#but yeah sure if it makes u feel better abt urself to parrot empty mantras go ahead#y'all have already won and we're on borrowed time#it's cute watching y'all plan for the future as if u have one#at least im not alone in dying bc we're all gonna suffer for what we've chosen#and also at least i have my mom to talk to bc she gets it and agrees#she doesnt agree fully when i talk abt how eco fascism is the only real thing we can do#ppl cannot be trusted to be given a choice#we need to declare martial law and force everyone to reset#no more capitalism no more waste no more environmental damage#but yeah my mom says fascism is always wrong but the way i see it.. we either do the hard thing to save us all#or let all the millions of fuckheads choose to kill the earth and us all with it for literally nothing#after manyy years we could start going back to 'democracy'...
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