#like that little shit who had to be nasty to me about my halloween costume last year

[bunnyyamor]

[ OCTOBER 25TH ] BYAKUYA KUCHIKI x fem! reader (teacher x student au)

synopsis; it's the famous halloween party at your college and everyone is invited. it's so annoying how all the teachers are there, keeping an eye out for troublemakers. wk; 3k

warnings; mdni, smut 18+, heavy smut, office sex, 69, dirty talk, weed, alcohol, cunnilingus, blow job, oral (both), fingering, nicknames, brat taming, daddy kink, handjob, public sex, beta read!

notes; i think this has to be one of my favs smut i've written idk it just got me good and hot. i also rlly like byakuya he is so fine on so many levels its crazy. also i made the costume that y/n wears a bunny bc we representing my brand ppl! anywho, remember to unhide mature posts, like, reblog, and comment, that would mean the world to me!!!

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“holy fuck, girl. you look hot!” your friend groped your boobs as you were stuffing them in your hot bunny costume. you were posing and checking out yourself in the mirror, ready to indulge. you couldn’t lie, you looked amazing. your makeup was done in a sexy but soft girl look. then you added a bunny ears headband and wore a tight, black one piece outfit with shirt cuff sleeves, your ass almost showing with your fishnet stockings. you wore your 9-inch heels and had a cotton ball tail on your butt. you looked delectable and were the cutest bunny. 

“i know right,” you fixed your hair. you were waiting all year for this day. it was the day for the most popular raving party ever. it was a halloween party. each year the college held one for the students. everyone that was anyone went. 

“your boo is gonna pick us up? it’s at the gym slash cafeteria room.” your friend read her text from your boyfriend? 

“that’s the plan.”

the door knocked and it was your boyfriend and a couple of his friends. “this is gonna be the best party ever! it’s gonna be lit.”

you rolled your eyes. you knew your boyfriend wasn’t the brightest man in the town. “yeah, yeah, yeah. you got the stuff?”

your stoner boyfriend nodded, giggling like a school boy, “yeahhhh man. i got you babe.”

“oh shit,” you stomped your foot. “aren’t the teachers gonna be there?”

“for real?” your friend twirled around angry. “why the fuck? they’re just gonna ruin everything and treat us like we’re in a christian party.”

“it’s because last year they found those guys smoking in the bathrooms…” you stared at your boyfriend, hands on your hips. “i wonder who’s fault that was?”

“bro, whatever! i didn’t know they were gonna smell us? so what? we’ll do it in my car babe. it’s gonna be fine. they dumb as fuck anyways these dumb teachers.”

you were starting to walk to the car. “sure…the teachers are dumb. but theres that teacher byakuya kuchiki? he is not an old, senile teacher, he’s gonna know.” that was the literature professor in the college. 

“then maybe the way you can get him off our backs is fucking him, he’d love to fuck a cute little bunny,” your friend cackled as she smacked your ass. 

you laughed as you drank back some alcohol. you wanted to get super drunk and nasty today. “ehhh who cares. let’s just get fucked up! and who gives a fuck about them teachers!” everyone wooed and drove to the cafeteria. 

when your group got to the party you saw that some students were already secretly pouring drinks into the fruit punch. 

“who you going for tonight?” you asked your friend. scanning the dance floor. 

“maybe that smart teacher, i mean look at him y/n.” your friend pointed to mr. kuchiki. he was not wearing a costume since he was a more monotone chill teacher. he was not one to joke, only sometimes and you had never seen him laugh or smile. he was much more serious. he spooked you a little because you wondered if he even liked being a teacher. he stood, glaring at everyone to make sure they were behaving. he was tall, his long black hair was pushed back on one side only. he wore a tight, black suit, a big watch on his wrist as he looked at the time and then the party. he looked like he didn’t fit in with all the idiots that were here. you couldn’t help but stare however. he looked so handsome. so manly. his eyes with a glare of daggers. you couldn’t unglue yourself from him and his eyes found your stare. they looked directly into yours, causing you to fumble and trip. 

“you okay y/n? you looked like you were eyefucking the professor there.” 

“it’s doesn’t matter. let’s just go in the back and smoke. i saw like a deserted janitor room behind the auditorium. we could do it there. i didn’t see any vents.”

“yay! okay get your boo and we’re out of here.”

as you were going to get your boyfriend, byakuya made his way to you. he seemed to already be annoyed or angry. “y/n?”

“yes, professor? are you enjoying yourself? are you dancing a lot?” you twirled and shook your ass near him. wanting to see if you could crack him. instead he grabbed you by the arm. 

“do you think this outfit is a appropriate? look at you?”

“what? what are you talking about?”

byakuya closened up, his chest pressed against yours. he towered over you and his eyes darkened. “this costume is provocative. what attention do you want from disgusting boys? i mean look at you, i can practically see your ass. you think i didn’t notice.”

“then if my ass is such a problem, don’t stare! listen old man, i don’t know if you know this but i’m a grown ass woman. i can do whatever the hell i want and wear whatever the hell i want. news flash i think i look great! and your opinion doesn’t matter to me so fuck off, professor!” you flicked your hair in his direction and stomped away. not caring that his eyes darkened and he shook with anger. 

you were going to live your life and everyone could suck it! you were the popular, hot girl in school. the girl that could get away with anything and was maybe a brat. you wanted to do everything in life, wanting to live reckless and immature as a college student was supposed to live. this was going to be an unforgettable night!

“oh yeah, that’s the good stuff,” you chuckled uncontrollably. feeling all the weight of classes and the semester being lifted off your shoulders. it made you comfortable with this blanket-ness of floating. you blew out smoke and saw your friends eyes were red. this made you laugh even harder. “who knew we were gonna get fucked up like this.”

“right! and no teacher has come in to check on us. i’m gonna finish this and then care to dance and eat with me? cause i’m literally starving!” your friend fixed her makeup in front of the bathroom. 

you as well added gloss on your lips and saw your boyfriend was practically passed out. “shit. that’s probably going to be a problem.”

“do you think it smells in here?” your friend totally disregarded your statement. 

you sniffed the air, “nah. maybe? a little? i don’t know but help me. i’m going to stick him in the car and i’ll check up on him in a few hours. he’s probably going to want cake.”

your boyfriend started to babble and sit up. slurring and making a ruckus. he was becoming loud and you were afraid it would attract unwanted attention. 

the door to the empty janitor room flew open and there standing in the doorway was professor byakuya. his lips in a scowl, all mad as hell. his eyebrows were furrowed. he looked around and saw your boyfriend, your friend and then you. 

“you!”

“me?”

he pointed at you and you noticed right then and there, you were the only one holding a blunt. “wait but i wasn’t the only one-”

“you two, go home. i’ll be telling the school about this tomorrow. and you? you’re coming with me. not only for this stunt but also for the way you talked to me earlier.” byakuya saw you were about to scramble out the window and grabbed you forcefully. he hurled you over his shoulder, your ass near his face. he was strong and his height made you feel like a tree was holding you. “do as i say, or else.” he threatened you. 

“fuck you man!”

byakuya hauled you all the way to his office which was at the opposite side of the school. he threw you into a chair and sat at his desk, typing away something. “what are you typing, mr. smarty?” you snickered at your joke. 

he glared at you, his eyes traveling from your legs to your face. “none of your business, you brat.”

you sighed, “look professor. it won’t happen again i promise! it was a one time mistake, honest!”

“you think i’m dumb y/n? do you?”

you pouted, “no.”

he continued typing, “i am sending an email to the school to make sure you all have consequences. especially you.”

“are you fucking serious?” you stormed up, pounding his desk. “c’mon! please don’t!”

“yes, i am. and for god’s sake, wear this. i would be freezing in that.” he stared at your breasts for a quick second. a second you too noticed. byakuya took his jacket off and handed it to you. you wrapped yourself in it and realized how much bigger he was than you and how good he smelled. 

you sat back down and saw the way his muscles flexed under his white buttoned up shirt. he groaned as he sat back and loosened his tie. his legs wide opened as he sat at his desk. 

“professor byakuya, are you single?”

his head snapped to yours quickly. “why are you asking me that?” he bit his lip as he got back to typing. 

“to kill time i guess. i was just wondering because i never see you with anyone.”

for the first time you saw him smile. it was quick and it was small but it carried a hint of a chuckle in it. it was splendid. it made your heart quicken for some odd reason. you were the reason mr. grumpy pants smiled. “love the observation. but i am single. wife left me, it’s a whole story.”

you took gum out of your purse and popped it in your mouth. you played with the sticky substance on your finger, “you cheated?”

“no y/n, i did not cheat. and what does school say about gum?” he clicked his tongue. 

you chewed it annoyingly, mouth sounds loud. 

“spit it out.”

“no.”

“spit it out.”

“no!” you smiled evilly. you loved pushing his buttons. 

“i said-”

“i know what you said mr. kuchiki. and i said n,” you opened up your right leg. “o.” then your left. you had opened up your legs wide for him to see. you knew your outfit was caught in your pussy lips and was stuck in your ass so he was seeing all of you. you also knew that right now you were wet. so wet because you were playing with fire. “i do what i want, professor.” you chewed loudly again. 

byakuya’s eyes darted to your pussy and his eyes laid there a second too long. he quickly darted to you and put his hands out in front of your mouth. “spit it out.”

“you want my gum professor? here.” you pulled his hunching form to you by the tie and kissed his lips. at first he was hesitant but then you could tell he needed it. being single and all probably was hard on his body. he had no one to fuck. his mouth widened so that you could shove the piece of gum in there. his jawline moved in perfect sync with your open mouthed kisses. you wrapped your legs around him, his jacket slipping off as you moved your hands to his long hair. your fingers getting caught in the length. it was so soft to the touch. 

“yes daddy,” you bit his ear as you moaned at feeling his hard on under you. “just like that.” you could hear him chewing the gum you gave him. he put your body against his desk. stomach flat on the wooden surface. 

“spread your legs,” he ordered you, kissing your neck. 

you listened and heard him ripping your fishnet stockings. he needed your cunt as quickly as possible. “i can smell you. are you dripping wet, wanting to fuck your professor?”

“mmmm yes. touch me and you’ll see what you do to me. i love when you order me.” you chuckle, biting your lips. 

byakuya looked down and his veiny hands traveled between your legs. you were right. “fuck, you’re soaked.” his watch tapped lightly against your thighs. it was cold on your skin. his long, thick fingers lightly touched your pussy folds. he wanted to collect your juices and spread them against your cunt. his fingers swiped from your pussy to your tight asshole, loving the way your ass jiggled at that movement. 

“am i a bad bunny, daddy?” you whined. loving how that turned him on more. you loved your power. he must have had his eyes on you before. 

he bent over to your ears, his hot breath coming out, “you’re so bad you need to be punished.”

he grabbed you by your shoulders and pushed you on your knees in front of his cock. he looked so dominating like that. his long hair created a waterfall around his face, his eyes half lidded from the lust. his mouth heaving from being out of breath. his nipples hardening through his shirt as his muscles almost busted out of it. his tight black trousers were now tighter from his cock almost breaking through. you could see the indent of it and how big he was. his thumb lightly touched your cheek, soft like whispers. in that moment you were ready to give him everything. ready to listen, ready to take him in. 

he thought you looked angelic, so cute. your ears were placed perfectly on your face. your eyes staring up at him, glossed lips parted slightly with a flushed look from being hot with need. your boobs were squished together as you sat there, obeying. “i want you to give it to me…please.”

he unzipped and let his hard dick out. it was veiny, and so thick. “will this fit in my mouth, professor?” you looked all around it, shocked that this is what your literature professor was hiding. 

again he smirked, his lips quirking into a smile. “i know you can take it, baby.”

you put your hands around his cock. the feeling of his skin hot under your touch, “i need to know though.” your eyes darkened. “i am the only student that can do this to you. nobody and i mean nobody can touch you that way i am.”

byakuya squeezed your cheeks with his huge hand, “the same goes to you. you’re mine now y/n. you belong to me. so fuck that scrawny boyfriend outside that can’t even take weed.”

your mouth widened, shocked at his order. you forgot you even had a boyfriend! 

byakuya pushed your head to take in his cock. you opened your mouth wide to take him fully in. you gurgled and gagged around his length and girth. “mmmmmm,” spit dripped from the sides of your mouth. byakuya’s hips subconsciously moved back and forth, fucking your mouth. loving the way your tongue flicked and twirled around his girth. “fuck, shitttt. that’s it baby. just like that. try to take more in?”

you nodded and started bobbing your head back and forth. loving how his cream was starting to coat your mouth. you went faster and faster. you were making byakuya become so turned on he was ready to become animalistic. “come here.” he urged you and carried you like you weighed nothing. he pushed everything off the desk. you were upside down, ass in his face. “don’t stop sucking, brat.” you listened and kept bobbing up and down, while byakuya smacked your ass as he laid back down on his desk with you on top of him. and that’s when his strong arms urged your ass to plop on his face. 

“professor!” you were shocked but then in heaven. 

in between licking your folds he said, “i said don’t stop sucking.”

you went back to diving your mouth around his cock. your nose touching his pubes while he ate you out. you both were doing 69. 

you couldn't contain your moans as his fingers grabbed a hold of your ass cheeks, spreading them as he licked at your delicious cunt. he spat on it and open mouthed kiss it. his tongue swiping from your clit to your hole, diving his tongue inside your hole, in and out, fucking you with his tongue. you didn’t stop gurgling around his cock, spitting on his swollen head. 

that’s when a knock was on the door.

“fuck,” you said as you tried to get off but byakuya had a hold on you. surely he heard the door? you bit your lip as you sat on his face, trying not to but you couldn’t help it but ride his face. loving the friction of his nose pressing your sensitive clit and his slobber and spit all over your wet fat pussy. 

“babe? hello? i think i’m sober. i was wondering if you want to go get a bite? are you in there? shit are you getting reprimanded, damn. i’m sorry babe. i promise i’ll make it up to you if you get suspended. just hope it’s not that bad. i’m gonna go though and get some cake and i’ll meet you up in the car.”

you couldn't help but jump on byakuya’s face as his tongue dived in and out of your hole. your hand was covering your mouth, you were almost crying cumming. to think that your boyfriend was talking to you not knowing your pussy was literally being eaten out by your professor. byakuya slapped your ass. you listened to hear your boyfriend leave and that's when you let go a scream. “fuck! right there professor. right there! oh my god don’t stop. your tongue feels so good inside me!” you uncontrollably grinded his face. almost there. 

you again deep throated byakuya, feeling him hit the back of your throat. you could tell he was almost there. in sync, you orgasmed. feeling the wetness come out between your fold and byakuya drinking and sucking all your juices. “right there baby. i’m gonna cum.” white spurts came out of byakuya and spiked inside your mouth, you drank him all up. he tasted way better than your boyfriend. he was the best fuck you ever had. 

“shit, fuck,” byakuya groaned and you saw his chin glistening with your juices. 

you tickled his tip and put his cream in your mouth like it was whip cream, “mmm delicious.”

“you’re a naughty bunny, aren’t you?”

you giggled cutely. i thought you realized that already, mr.”

[slayfics]

Katsuki and Kansatoki spend Halloween together.

Warnings: Mild slut shaming

Read about my OC Kansatoki here~

Katsuki and Kansatoki sat on the dorm couches watching a Halloween movie. Kansatoki unfortunately came down with a cold, keeping her from any festivities. Katsuki claimed he was too tired to do anything else and decided to stay at the dorms with her.

"What was your costume going to be anyway? Probably something way too damn revealing again," Katsuki said, looking down at Kansatoki who was resting against his shoulder.

"No! This one wasn't half as bad as my costume last year," Kansatoki replied.

"What was it then?" He asked.

"A nurse," she replied.

"Are you fucking kidding me? That's the epitome of a slutty Halloween costume," he said.

"It is not!" She yelled back playfully.

"Don't tell me, it was just some skimpy laundry with a dumb nurse hat, wasn't it?" He said.

Kansatoki's silence was all he needed to know he was right.

"Fucking called it," he laughed.

"Whatever, you're just upset you don't get to see it," she teased him.

"Why do you wear shit like that anyway?" He asked, his voice softer than before.

"Duh- it's Halloween. It's a right of passage to be able to dress however you want today. Besides, it's not like it's any more revealing than my hero costume," she responded.

"Yeah but, your hero costume is because of your quirk. You need to be able to make contact with people to influence them so that makes sense. What the hell are you trying to accomplish with a costume like that on Halloween?" He asked.

"What, you're going to pretend you don't like it?" She teased him.

"Tch shut up! I'm a fucking boy of course I'm going to like it," he said.

"Well there you go, it feels nice to feel attractive you know?" She explained.

"No, I don't know. I have, 'A face only a mother could love'," Katsuki said, mimicking Present Mic's description of him at the Sports Festival.

"That is not true! I'm pretty sure he was talking about that nasty scowl you had on your face the whole time. You're the most attractive boy at U.A. Bakugo, especially in your hero suit," She said, running her finger under his chin.

"Don't," he said, smacking her hand away, as a blush appeared on his face.

"Don't what, hm?" She said teasingly at him.

"Don't lie to me, I'm not fucking dumb. Do You think I'm stupid or something? Like I don't see how many girls fawn over stupid half and half. Even with that ugly ass scar," He said.

"Those girls don't have any taste. All those pansy boys are so boring, I could eat them for breakfast. I like my boys with a little fight in them," Kansatoki said, winking at him.

"You've got fucking issues you know that?" Katsuki said.

"Yeah I know, I'm looking at them," She said laughing.

"Quiet down and watch the damn movie," he grumbled.

"Make me," she said, flashing him a smirk.

"You're fucking relentless you know that?" He said as he pulled her closer to him.

Another one- because I wrote too much today being sick at home on Halloween. This is basically an extension to my Halloween Katsukii x Reader fic. Hope you enjoy some Kansuki interactions~

Artwork commissioned by @valartsstuff 💚

Tags: @unofficialmuilover

[writtentonobody]

Dear nobody,

It’s complicated.

How I feel about you is not easily put into words.

I hope you die.

I feel sorry for you.

I hate you.

I’m sorry.

No matter how I word it, nothing seems quite right. It never seems like enough.

But… I know how my body reacts when I think about you. My stomach coils up- twists and turns and churns with hot magma, and I want to expel it. My hands are clammy. My face feels freezing and too hot at the same time. My limbs tremble. And most horrific of all, is the sickening, barely-there arousal that sometimes surfaces- a feeling that makes my insides quiver with shame.

You’ve twisted me up in a way that’s hard for me to express. You’ve turned me rotten. You took what made me innocent and spit it back up in my face, and you’ve turned it into a sludge a hue so sinister that I am afraid to show anyone what’s left of it.

I can still recall the day with too much clarity. (I’m so fucking angry about this day. How you treated me. How my friend treated me. How I had to treat myself. How I had to pick up the fucking pieces of me because nobody else could. Nobody else wanted to.)  Ironically enough, I don’t remember much of you. I remember what you did to me, but I barely remember what you look like. I barely remember the shit you told me. Who you were. But that might’ve just been because I was way too damn drunk.

It all started at a Halloween party. My favorite holiday. My favorite time of year. I came all the way from a different city to visit my friend, and we had matching costumes. I was an angel. My friend was a devil. The plan was to go to a music gig at some bar, because a guy that my friend liked was playing with his band. It was fun, at first. After a couple of drinks, I allowed myself to sway with the crowd. Smile at the other guests. Enjoy the moment, even though I was shy. You didn’t even pay attention to me then, when I was there. But I saw you, I think. With your friends. After the show, we were invited to the afterparty. My friend was excited to talk to the performer they liked (he was apparently your friend, too. Your best of buds. Found out later that your whole friend group was filled with creeps.) and though I was meek, I was excited to mingle and meet new people. And meet new people I did. Strangers included me. There was a cat. I made friends with a very mystical lady who kept calling me pretty, and I was a little smitten. But that was when you swooped in. I was pretty drunk at that point, and you led me to sit with you on the couch. You gave me another nasty, cheap beer, and we talked about a whole bunch of shit that doesn’t matter. I scanned around for my friend. Were they safe? I saw them. All was good. At one point, we started kissing. I don’t remember how. But I was excited. It was my first time kissing a guy. I was a late bloomer, and I was excited to experience new things.

We kissed for a while longer. The party ended. But hey! After party of the after party at your house, right? Awesome. So stupidly, I drove us there in my little purple car. I couldn’t even drive in a straight line. Why did you guys let me do that? Somehow, we made it, though. We all piled out of the car when we got there and ended up in your apartment. There was an upstairs and a downstairs. My friend stayed downstairs, talked to your friends. I went up with you. I was ready for some kissing and some cuddling. We made out, and then, out of nowhere, you tugged down my tights. That was wrong. It was wrong. And suddenly, there was pain. And more pain. And then, quickly I covered myself. “No,” I’d said. “It hurts.” And then you said something sooo cliché. Something like, “Oh, are you a virgin? It’s supposed to hurt the first time.” I might’ve been naïve, but I wasn’t an idiot. You tried again and again, and I stood firm on no. Eventually, you gave up. I quickly ran downstairs, half-clothed, and burst into tears when I locked eyes with my friend. I don’t remember what I said, but you had begged and begged me to stay to cuddle. My friend asked me if I wanted them to beat you up. At the time, I wanted- needed- to get out of there as quickly as possible, so I’d said no. But looking back on it, I should’ve said yes. Maybe you getting a fist to the face would’ve offered me more closure. Maybe, it would have allowed me to forgive my friend more easily for leaving me up there with you.

I screamed and cried on the phone with one of my ex-girlfriends. Then, whilst still quite drunk, I drove my friend home. They offered me a pair of Winnie the Pooh pajama pants in place of my messed-up tights. And then… I had to drive myself home. All the way out of town. I’d stopped to get coffee, and then it was an hour and a half drive back, by myself, at 6 am. I think this was the worst part of it all and the part where I felt most alone. After something so horrible had happened to me, there was nobody to help scoop me back up. I had to pick up little shards of myself and hurriedly shove them into my proverbial pocket. It felt like… this always happens. I always had to do this for myself. But now, the time when I’d needed it the most, I was left, driving myself home, trembling like a leaf, glancing down at pooh bear on my legs to bring me some sort of childish comfort, like at least he was there for me.

When I got home, something happened. It was when that sinister, grotesque thing first reared its ugly head. Something so shameful- so horrific, needy, and evil. I’d gotten home, headed to my bedroom, and I’d immediately gotten off. I know it’s pretty common after that sort of thing. Your body and your mind are so confused. But… I hated myself more than I ever have in that moment.

From then on, I was all screwed up. I used people to hurt me. I drank to numb the pain. I went through psychosis, though this is partially not your fault- something else that was horrible enough happened to me that same year, too, that made me question my whole existence.

Months later, I’d looked you up. I had somehow managed to remember your name, or at least parts of it. And after looking up friends of friends and looking at different peoples’ profiles I managed to find you. I read your profile. Memes filled with misogyny. Unsurprising. Not atypical of what you were. There were also a couple of family photos, and old pictures of you. I was filled with hatred. I wished that you felt guilty for what you did to me. I wished that your whole life was ruined. I wished that maybe you’d even kill yourself because you knew how fucked up of a person you were. But with the same breath, I’d also thought… I hope that your life wasn’t ruined. I hope that you can move on. I hope that everything will be alright for you. I even thought, maybe you were too drunk, too. Maybe you didn’t really realize what was happening until it was too late as much as I did. Realistically, though, I knew that none of these things were probably the reality. You probably didn’t care. Didn’t remember, nor cared to remember. I was probably just a half a blink of a memory for you, if even that.

And it really is unfortunate, too, because somehow, I’d allowed you to have this power over me- a power so intense that it has affected me deeply, even to this day.

Because of you, I am scared to be vulnerable.

Because of you, being touched makes me feel twisted.

Because of you, I have trouble forming deep relationships. (Not just because of you. That runs deeper than you, too.)

Because of you, even though my body screams for hugs, holding hands, being physically close to people, (this is not just about romance, but even with my friends, too) when I think of allowing myself to do so, something in me starts to clamp up, like I can’t.

Because of you, I’m afraid that I can’t be enough.

Because of you, I feel like something horrific.

Because of you, I have feelings that I can’t explain and don’t know how to explain.

You’ll never see this.

But I needed this.

I think my conclusion is that I hope you rot.

[ttngummybear]

Started drawing a new profile pic. I'm unreasonably tired now.

Why? I like to draw! I enjoy it! Why does it tire me out so bad?

[hellfirehaley]

Strange Love Chapter Nine

CW/Trigger Warnings: THIS CHAPTER FEATURES A DEPICTION OF A SCENE OF A GIRL BEING ROOFIED. IF THIS CONTENT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS CHAPTER. Mentions of vomit, coarse language, underage drinking, marijuana usage, alluding to a scene of being roofied.

AN: So a bit about this week's chapter: its theme are a little harsh. It alludes to a compromising and real situation that happens to women all over the place to this day and part of the reason I decided to write this chapter is because this week of posting will be the sixth anniversary of my own assault. I wrote this chapter as a writing exercise to help escape from the nasty, negative, gross feelings I usually feel this time of year. If this is something you aren't comfortable reading, please feel free to skip the chapter because I don't want ANYONE to trigger themselves for the sake of a fanfiction.

With that being said, I promise I am going to be handling this delicate topic with as much care and sensitivity as possible. Thank you in advance. if you liked the previous chapters or this one, please feel free to like or comment or reblog it. I also have a taglist so I can keep you up to date on the current chapters when they are posted.

Songs Referenced: Brighton Rock and Killer Queen by Queen, Take On Me by A-Ha, Peaceful Easy Feeling by The Eagles.

Word Count: 4451

Shoutout to my babies @sunflowerharrington for helping me come up with the opening to this scene and @mvnsoneddie86 for helping me come up with the costume for Eddie this chapter. I was seriously stuck on that what to do and you saved my ass Kayla.

Masterlist: https://at.tumblr.com/hellfirehaley/strange-love-an-eddie-fic-chapter-one/qglrwxp3y002

Chapter Nine: The Party

Friday October 11, 1985

Homecoming came quicker than expected and the entire school was beaming with school pride: everyone was wearing their Hawkins shirts or their green shirts. The girls had all green and gold accessories and makeup on today. And all the extra effort was worth it because the best part is we won! 28-21. You were waiting on Robin and Ali to finish getting ready since you decided to wear a simple costume this year since it’s not even Halloween yet. You were wearing a slinky black dress, black stockings and heels with an old witch’s hat from a number of Halloweens ago. Ali and Robin were going as Claire and Allison from The Breakfast Club so they were layering their outfits while you started on makeup.

“So predictions on who is gonna hook up with whom?” you ask, looking in the mirror while you apply eyeshadow. The music in the background was fast and upbeat, Ali having chosen the I Love Rock and Roll album. 

“Well John from French class was eying Madeline so I bet he makes a move tonight.” Ali noted as she adjusted her ankle length brown skirt.

“Blonde haired John or Soccer team John?” Robin asked.

“Blonde John,” Ali says.

“No shit!” you and Robin say.

“Saw it while they were conjugating verbs last Tuesday.” Ali said

“I think that Ben from Chem will finally ask out Samantha Greer.” Robin said.

“The choir girl?” you ask.

“Yep.” Robin said.

“Oh they’d be cute together,” you say.

“You know who else would be cute together? You and Eddie Munson.” Ali said.

“Oh my god yes. The King and Queen of The Freaks,” Robin said, spreading her hands out like she was announcing a movie pitch.

“You’re relentless, you two.” you say.

“And you’re an idiot who can’t see the obvious thing right in front of her!” Ali retorts, putting in her earrings.

“We’re friends!” you try.

“Who are totally into each other. Face it: he’s your Steve and you’re acting like Ali.” Robin said.

“Ouch!” Ali said, hitting Robin lightly.

“But you see my point?” Robin asks

“I suppose so but I barely know him,” you say.

“Get to know him then!” Ali said.

“I have been getting to know him or trying to but okay fine: I do like Eddie but I have to make sure, without a doubt, that he’s gonna be one that stays” you say.

“I get that. How can we help?” Ali asked as she adjusted her pink blouse. 

“Just promise me not to let me get so wrapped up in him that I end up looking like a fool.” you ask.

“Of course dear,” Ali said.

“We’ve got you honey,” Robin said. You finish getting ready, deciding on a dark eye look for the night hoping to come off as mysterious.and witchy. Robin looked adorable in her black cardigan and skirt with black converse: the ultimate comfy and cute look. Ali was working on her makeup at the moment since she just needed to put on her slouchy brown boots.

“Five bucks says Eddie is gonna steal Y/N away tonight at some point.” Robin says.

“You’re making a pointless bet: I’m gonna see him at some point anyways since he was the first one to invite me to this party,” you point out as you go through Ali’s albums before deciding on Queen’s Sheer Heart Attack album.  The whimsical opening sounds of Brighton Rock blasting through her speakers.

“I give it an hour,” Ali said, holding out her hand. 

“I give her 30 minutes,” Robin countered, shaking on their bet. You rolled your eyes as you got down on the bed again, laying down while you waited for them, singing along to each track. The girls joined in on a rendition of Killer Queen as they finished their makeup.

“Alright we ready?” Robin asked as she grabbed her car keys. Ali was pulled on her boots and nodded at Robin.

“I’m good,” you say. Once Ali had her boots on and everything was situated, you three headed out the door and into the car. You sat in the back and they took the front seats. Robin turned on the car and Madonna was blasting through the car as you girls started to sing along. The drive was supposed to be only 15 minutes so it wasn’t too bad.

“So is your boyfriend gonna make an appearance tonight?” you ask.

“Yes he;s gonna meet us there just in case we get too drunk to drive.” Ali said.

“Aww what a sweet Mother Goose he is,” you say with a laugh.

“He is really sweet.” Ali agreed.

“I’m really happy for you Als. Like seriously.” you say earnestly.

“Thanks Y/N. You know we want that for you too right?” Ali said with the same amount of conviction in her voice.

“I know.” you say with a soft smile in the darkness. You arrive at where you suspect the party is based on the music and how many cars are parked down the street. You park a ways down and note how many people are here.

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” you ask as you are walking up to the house, nerves getting the best of you.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?” Ali asked.

“Yeah Y/N. It's gonna be fun. Just us, some shots, dancing, seeing our friends. I promise it’ll be fun.” Robin said.

“You’re right; I’m just being paranoid for some reason.” you admit as you walk up the entryway to the house. Ali opens the doors and the house is packed with people all in costume.  A lot of people were dressed as Greeks, movie characters or just dressed in their sports outfits. You smiled at how they decorated the place with black and orange streamers and a fog machine but also had a banner in big bold letters saying CONGRATULATIONS TIGERS! WAY TO GO!

You three immediately made a beeline for the kitchen, making a human chain to ensure not losing each other. Once you get to the kitchen and find bottles of booze just lined up along the kitchen counter. Ali takes some shot glasses and washes them out before pouring up some shots. You clinked glasses and drank down the clear, fiery liquid.

“Another?” Robin asked.

“Another.” you say smiling as she pours up the shots. You down them in a quick procession, grimacing as the liquor goes down your throat.

“Do you want to dance?” Robin asked.

“I wanna make a drink first,” Ali said, already having a bottle of rum in her hand already.

“Make me one too?” you ask. Ali nods as she pour rum and New Coke into a pair of glasses. She handed you yours and cheers-ed before taking a big drink and going to the “dance floor” in the living room. The group was dancing to Take On Me by A-ha, having the time of your lives. You hadn’t been to a party since last year so it was absolutely thrilling to let loose and have a good time. The song ended and changed to a Michael Jackson song.

“Hey I just saw Vickie walk in. I’m gonna go talk to her for a bit. Are you gonna be okay?” Robin asked, pointing in her direction. You nodded and smiled at her with a thumbs up. Ali soon followed her after dancing to a few more songs, seeing Steve show up. Duran Duran started playing and you smiled, taking a drink out of your cup while you swayed to the beat and moved your hips and arms. You finally felt free again and you loved it.

Until you feel a pair of unfamiliar hands place themselves on your waist. 

“Hey there, sexy . Can I have this dance?” a voice said from behind you. You tense up a little bit and immediately feel anxious since you didn’t know the guy.

“Umm…”

“Oh come on, Miss Witch. I just helped carry home a win for us. Least you owe me is a dance,” he said in your ear. You shivered out of uncertainty.

“Fine.” you say, unsure of what would happen if you didn’t. The entire time, his grip on your hips was too tight and uncomfortable. His breath on your neck smelled like beer and it reeked of pot and something else. You looked desperately for your friends, who were unfortunately busy with their crushes. You tried to fake happiness when one hand left your waist, hoping he would be leaving.

“So what’s your name, Miss Witch?”

“Laura,” you lie, not trusting him one bit.

“”Well Laura, do you want a drink?” he asked.

“No, I already have one,” you say.

“Want another one?” he said, trying to sound sexy and coming off sleazy.

“No thanks. I’m trying to pace myself.” you reply.

“Suit yourself,” he says, returning his hand to your waist. The next few minutes felt like the longest of your life as you waited for the song to end. When it did end, you immediately came up with a plan.

“Hey stud I’ve gotta pee. Meet me in the kitchen?” you say coyly.

“Hell yeah baby!” he said as he raced to the kitchen. As soon as he walked away, you made a point to lose yourself in the crowd to avoid the creep’s gaze and downed the rest of your drink but you almost spit it out because it was either watered down or something just tasted off. More metallic than before. You immediately swallowed it and made a beeline for the patio doors, letting yourself out and closing it behind you. You immediately started to feel warmer and anxious after that interaction so you took a deep breath to calm yourself, thanking your Deity for your quick thinking. After a minute of deep breathing, you headed out to the back to see who all was out here. There was a little bit of everyone here tonight so you were happy to be able to blend in. You saw a big cloud of smoke coming from 50 feet away so you started to make your way out of it. The walk was a little wobbly from the heels and the alcohol but you made it to the source of the smoke and you were so glad you did because, as promised, there was your favorite person sitting by the bonfire laughing with his friends wearing just a pair of overalls, no shirt with his tattoos on full display. You started to make your way towards him, leaves crunching under your feet. The sound caught their attention and as soon as Eddie saw you, he smiled wider under the joint in his mouth.

“Y/N! You found me!” Eddie said smiling as you were in ear shot.

“Hi guys. How’s the evening? How was Hellfire?” you ask as you go towards Eddie to sit next to him.

“It’s going well. Hellfire was fucking rad! We got to fight a small army and won!” Gareth said, taking a drink of his beer.

“Well I’m glad it worked out well. Maybe I’ll sit in on a session one day and see how you run a campaign if that’s okay.” you say sitting next to Eddie.

“Of course Princess. I’m more than happy to show you the ropes if you ever wanna guest play” Eddie said with a smile.

“So how’s your night going Y/N?” Jeff asked.

“It’s okay. I lost my friends to their crushes so I danced for a while until this jerkoff jock forced me to dance with him,” you say with a shiver.

“What?” Grant said with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“Which one?” Eddie asked with a clenched fist, rings prominently visible and his bare chest visibly raising and falling rapidly.

“I don’t know. I tried not to look at him, gave him a fake name and told him I had to pee before I came out here.” you say with a slur, the alcohol starts to take its effects.

“Smart move!” Jeff said as the other agreed.

“You’re with me the rest of the night, got it?” Eddie said look at you with a serious expression.

“You won’t hear me complainin’” you say. You fade out of the conversation for a bit, watching the bonfire burn. You think about simple thoughts like what you would eat when you got home, how you’d maybe watch some tv or listen to music. You wondered if Robin was doing well with Vickie and what Ali had planned for her and Steve. You are pulled from your thoughts when a gentle hand touches your shoulder. You turn to your right and see Eddie looking at you quizzically. His touch feels amazing for some reason.

“You okay?” Eddie asks.

“I don’t know; I feel kind of weird” you say.

“What do you mean?” Eddie asks, full attention turning to you.

“I mean I feel drunk but also tired but then it’s like I’m fine,” you say. Eddie hands you a lit joint he had just rolled and sparked.

“Try hitting this once or twice. Small hits” Eddie said. You take the joint and take a few small hits before passing it to your left to Gareth. You sit there for a minute or two focusing on your breathing.

“Okay, at the risk of sounding like an asshole, how much did you have to drink tonight Y/N?” Eddie asks as gently as he can.

“2 shots and a rum and coke.” you slur

“Who made it?” Eddie asks.

“Ali did.” you say. Eddie was quiet for a minute or two, clearly deep in thought as he hit the joint Grant passed him. His eyebrows creased in thought, he finally turns back to you.

“Were you dancing with your drink in your hand?” Eddie asks. You had to think for a moment before nodding. Eddie passes the joint to Gareth, skipping you and causing you to pout.

“Did you drive?” Eddie asks. You shook your head no.

“R-R-Robin did. What’s with all the que-questions?” you slur, rolling the R in Robin’s name.

“OKay. I’m gonna take her home guys,” Eddie said to his friends who nodded in an agreed understanding. Eddie stood up and moved in front of you, offering his hands to help you up. You grabbed his hands and he helped pull you up to your feet as gracefully as you could manage. He moves a hand to your side where his arm is wrapped around you, to balance you and you do the same.

“How are you feeling? Can you walk?” Eddie asked as you started to nod. You two started to make your way back to the patio entry. Your walk was a little wobbly but you were okay in Eddie’s hands. He slid open the patio door for you and went through first, offering his hand to pull you through. The party was still bumping so you and Eddie easily slid through the crowd undetected as you searched for your friends. Eddie spotted the pair sitting comfortably on the couch talking to another couple. He led the way over to them.

“Hey Roberts.” Eddie said, grabbing Ali’s attention to him and you. You could see concern written all over her face.

“Hey guys, everything okay? What happened?” Ali asked.

“No, just…not here. I can explain tomorrow but just trust me, I need to get Y/N out of here NOW.” Eddie said calmly. At these words, Steve’s attention snapped to the conversation.

“You’re sure you’ve got her? We can take her if you want to stay.” Steve said with raised eyebrows, his protectiveness over his friend coming out.

“Yeah I’ve got her. Stay here with your girl and have fun, Harrington. I hate these kinds of parties anyways.” Eddie says.

“Okay if you’re absolutely sure man. Just please don’t leave her by herself.” Steve said.

“”I won’t. I’ll sleep on the floor with her dog if I have to,” Eddie said.

“Y/N, I’m coming over tomorrow first thing to check on you,” Ali said looking at you as you nodded at her. “I love you Y/N/N”

“I lubb you tew Ali and Steeb,” you say as Eddie leads you to the front door and opens it for you to go first before closing it and going back to your side. 

“My van is like a block that way so the walk shouldn’t be too bad,” Eddie said, helping you get down the stairs.

“Okay Eddie. Are you mad at me?” you ask suddenly, hitting the magical level of fucked up where you say whatever comes to your mind.

“Where’d you get that idea from Princess?” Eddie asks.

“Earlier when you asked about my drinking.” you say.

“Y/N I want you to be safe. You can have fun, I’m not saying you can’t, but tonight…” Eddie stopped himself, deciding not to say it.

“I was fine until that jerk wouldn’t let me go.” you whine, getting to the final step. 

“I know, pretty girl,” Eddie said softly. 

“I just wanted to dance by myself or with…” This time it’s you who stops talking but Eddie has other plans.

“With who?” Eddie asks with something different behind his voice. Jealous? Possessiveness?

“I wanted to dance with you honestly.” you admit.

“Aww you wanna slow dance with me?” he asks teasingly and that does it for you.

“You don’t have to make fun of me! I know it’s stupid and I don’t need you to help either at making me feel it,” you say as tears start to prick your eyes, threatening to fall.

“Whoa hey Y/N I didn’t–”

“Just don’t then Eddie. I just wanna go home now,” you say, walking faster now, dropping your hand from around him to get away from him. Eddie watched from a second as you sped up, heels clicking loud and fast as you looked for his van. He wanted to kick himself right now for upsetting you; he just didn’t believe that out of all the guys at school, you wanted him. He wasn’t used to being picked first, let alone at all. He picked up the pace and caught up with you effortlessly. Within minutes, you reached the van in silence as Eddie wordlessly opened the door for you and helped you settle in. You put on your seatbelt as Eddie got in the van and started it, taking off at a slower pace for Eddie. For the first part, you looked out the window as the town started to pass you by and it didn’t take long to figure out just where you were going.

“Please don’t take me to the hospital,” you say seeing a sign for it on the road.

“Why not Y/N? That prick put drugs in your drink and we need to get them out of you before it really causes some fucking damage” Eddie asks.

“My mom works there as a nurse so if I show up to her work like this, I’m dead.” you say.

“So what? You want me to take you home where you could possibly OD in your sleep?” Eddie rambles.

“I don’t know Eddie! I’m fucking scared, I’m feeling tired and I just want to sleep,” you say.

“Fine. I’ll take you home but you’ve got another thing coming if you think I’m leaving you alone tonight,” Eddie states, turning right to start heading to your house instead.

“You can do whatever the hell you please,” you say, crossing your arms like a child. Eddie exhaled, trying to not laugh at you in this state right now as he looked back at the road.

“I’m gonna find that asshole who did this to you and kick his fucking ass,” Eddie said lowly, more to himself. You decide it best not to answer as you try to think of when he could’ve done that to your drink but the drug’s effects were already at work, causing you to doubt yourself and just forget. It really frustrated you that you couldn’t remember. You felt like a scared child and you hated it.

“What are you thinking right now? Talk to me” Eddie asked, when he was a few minutes away from your home. You had been muttering to yourself for a solid minute now and he had had enough, You looked at him in tears and he immediately softened.

“I want my Uncle Dave. He would know what to do,” you say as the tears fall down. Eddie’s heart hurts for a moment seeing it. He so badly wants to do anything to make you feel better.

“We’re a few minutes away from your house. What would you like me to do Y/N?” Eddie asked as he grabbed your hand, rubbing circles on the top of it.

“Call him,” you cry softly as Eddies nods. He lets you cry for a moment while he holds your hand and then he starts to sing along to the radio.

“I get this feeling I may know you as a lover and a friend. But this voice keeps whispering in my other ear, Tells me I may never see you again cause I get a peaceful, easy feeling that I know you won’t let me down cause I’m already standing on the ground. “ Eddie sings as you try to focus on him. He pulled into your spot in the driveway and parked, undoing his seatbelt and getting out of his side. You do the same, getting out and immediately feeling super drowsy and gross. Eddie places his arm around you and walks up to your door.

“Key?” he asks.

“Under the fairy,” you say. Eddie picks up the fairy ornament by the potted plant, grabs the key and unlocks the door before replacing the key under the fairy. You walk in and kick off your heels moaning from the relief as Norm rushes to your side, excited to see you.

“Go get some pajamas on and I’ll be up with some water here in a few minutes,” Eddie says as you nod, going up the stairs. Eddie went to the kitchen to the wall phone and looked for an address book. Luckily for him, the number was pinned next to the phone on a chalkboard. He dialed the number and waited. One ring…two…three, four, five rings, six…seven…

“Hello? Jameson residence, Dave speaking,” a groggy voice answered.

“Dave? Hey I don’t know if you remember me from a few weeks ago but this is Eddie Munson, Y/N’s friend?” Eddie started.

“Eddie Munson?” Dave groaned over the phone, clearly trying to wake up and pay attention to the conversation at hand.

“Yeah Y/N’s friend. Look I wouldn’t have called this late but it’s an emergency. I think Y/N got roofied at a party tonight and she’s scared. She wouldn’t let me take her to the hospital; insisted on coming home and she’s crying out for you. She told me to call you.” Eddie said, exhaling at the end. He could hear shuffling in the background and slight whispers.

“Okay Eddie. Get her to drink water, lots of it, and try to get her to throw it up. Everything. I’m on my way and I’ll be there soon. I’m five minutes away,” Dave says.

“Okay Dave thank you,” Eddie says as they hang up the phone. He went into the actual kitchen and got together a glass of water and a bag of frozen peas in case you got overheated. He looked around for aspirin but couldn’t find any so he went up to your room where he found you lying on your bed in shorts and a Black Sabbath shirt. 

“Hey angel. How are you feeling after getting out of that dress?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah a little better” you say into your pillows.

“Okay good. Can you sit up for me and drink some water?” Eddie asked sweetly. You complied, sitting up with a groan and taking the water from him. You took a few big gulps and sighed.

“Good girl. Now I need to try and get that disgusting stuff out of you.” Eddie said.

“You mean…”

“Yeah sadly I do,” Eddie says as you groan, “Gotta get all that shit outta your body, baby girl. I know it sucks but we gotta do it. If it helps, Uncle Dave’s on his way.”

“You called him?” you say, feeling sheepish.

“Yep, he’ll be here any minute. I feel like you might listen to him more than me but he might have a lecture ready,” Eddie said. You sigh, nodding before getting up and going to the bathroom, locking the door behind you while you take care of yourself.

When Eddie went back downstairs to get himself a glass of water, he heard a key in the door and Norm barking. He looked through the open doorway and saw a long haired man walk in, greeting Norm with some pats. His black and gray tattoos on both sleeves on full display with his tank top and sweatpants. Eddie could tell he grabbed the first thing he had thrown on.

“Hey kid” Dave said, seeing Eddie in the kitchen.

“Hey thanks for coming. She’s in the bathroom right now and she drank about a third of her water so far,” Eddie informed.

“Thanks for the call. How’s she doing?” Dave asked, walking to the kitchen.

“She’s pretty shaken earlier but she seems okay for now, now that she’s home but knowing Y/N, she’s hiding how she’s really feeling,” Eddie admitted.

“Yeah she has always done that. She’s never been one to trust people easily so that’s why I’m glad she was able to at least trust you when in this situation. Thanks kid. I can take it from here if you’ve got places to be,” Dave said.

“I actually don’t. Would it be alright if I stayed? I probably won’t be able to sleep very well tonight if I don’t” Eddie admitted again, not wanting to seem like he’s overstaying his welcome.

“I respect that. How about you take my nephew’s room? He should have some sleep clothes you can borrow,” Dave said, pointing at the room across from yours. Eddie nodded as they heard Y/N open the bathroom door open and shuffle up to her room. Eddie sighed.

“You got her this far man. You did good, kid, now go rest up. I can watch her,” Dave said with a smile as Eddie nodded, starting up the stairs. “Oh and Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Sick Eddie Van Halen costume” Dave said with a laugh.

Taglist: @realeddiemunsonstandup @eddies-blunt @sharkbaitouhaha @spookyscoopstroop @bobbiewritesstuff @eveieforeve02 @apublicnotebook @madaboutmunson2 @grungegrrrl @riffcrusader @stardustworlds @tayhar811

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half-Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Part 2!

Part 1 Lessons 1-5 Lessons 5-6 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

Okay, They’re Your Cousins but You’re Not Sure How They’re Related to You...

(Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon, and Luke)

(It’s mostly Luke)

Barbs likes smol Lucifer. Smol Lucifer likes Barbs. They bake together with Luke. MC nearly set the kitchen on fire. MC needed to learn to cook.

MC is forever delegated to mixing duty because they refuse to admit that they don’t know how to work the oven.

Simeon is the one telling MC embarrassing stories about Lucifer and the rest of the Student Council from when they were all angels. Lucifer never hated Simeon more than when he found out that Simeon told MC about how hard Lucifer cried when he got to hold baby Mammon for the first time. MC was sworn to secrecy.

Well... sworn to secrecy, but if Uncle Mammon just happened to find out through a series of coincidences it wouldn’t be MC’s fault, right?

Simeon also tried to help teach MC to fly... but he kept distracting them with stories about Lucifer and Michael learning to fly.

“So my father was even WORSE than he told me he was?!”

“Yes, he actually challenged Michael and Raphael to a race at one point. Lucifer ended up slamming directly into a wall because he didn’t know how to stop.”

“SIMEON!”

Solomon was absolutely fascinated with MC. How did their half demon half human nature affect their reaction to certain spells and potions? Do half demons have more or less magical strength than normal demons? Can half demons make pacts with humans? Wait- Lucifer why are you taking MC away they were talking- Lucifer!

Immortal troll needs to troll. MC is the unwitting victim of many of Solomon’s shenanigans.

“Why must I speak in rhymes?! This is the end of times!”

“MC, just stop talking.”

“Father, I don’t mean to be a bother but-”

“So the rhyming spell works the same on half demons... interesting...”

“Solomon...”

“I’m leaving, Lucifer. I’m leaving!”

Aw! Two kids in the Devildom! They were fast friends. Sure, Luke was a little annoying and MC was a bit of a dick, but their mutual smallness and desire to impress their parental figures brought them together.

“Michael’s just so cool and amazing! The way he flies, the way he commands everyone... I want to be just like him someday!”

“Is that why you’re making a cake?”

“Michael has a sweet tooth, and I want to impress him.”

“I wonder if Lucifer likes sweets...”

“Why would you want to give HIM sweets?”

MC just gave Luke a toothy grin and started making the dough for the cake.

Remember back in Lucifer’s section where I said MC would keep their lineage a secret to freak people out? Yeah... they kept it from Luke. At first it was a joke! They were going to tell him! They just uh... it got really awkward. They planned on revealing it to Luke right after they learned how to properly fly so they could swoop in, pick their angel buddy up and zip the two of them to school. It’d freak Luke out at first, but it was meant to be funny! MC would have even sung the song from Aladdin! It um... didn’t turn out that way.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” MC growled at the lesser demons that were crowding Luke.

“O-oh... uh... nuh-nothing...” a few of the demons backed off, mumbling a few harried apologies to MC as they scurried away. The remaining demons seemed a tad more... hmm... they say there’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity.

“M-MC! You can’t fight demons! I’m an angel I-I c-can...” Luke sniffled, but tried his best to step in front of MC.

“Oh please, the little half-breed and the lowest ranked angel are going to put up a fight?” One of the demons jeered, a few of the remaining demons joined in.

MC’s eyes narrowed, their glare as cold as the worst winter storm. “I’m going to tell you once, and once only,”

Their wings sprouted from their back, horns now fully grown and on display, teeth sharper and glistening in the light. Hm, it seemed half demons could make their eyes glow too, how delightful.

MC gave the other demons a sweet smile, it would have been comforting if it weren’t for the amount of teeth they were showing off. They lazily placed their hand on Luke’s head and lightly moved him out of the way.

“Leave, or I will make you regret ever crossing us exchange students.” MC’s carefree smile couldn’t mask the malice that coated every single word that left their lips. “Run along now, you’re not needed here.”

The demon that had started the taunts stiffened, he looked from MC, to Luke, to the other demons, before scoffing and shaking his head. “Whatever, the two of them aren’t worth it anyway...”

When the offending demons weren’t leaving fast enough for MC’s liking, they snapped their fingers and shot a fireball right behind the fleeing demons’ feet. They cleared out pretty quickly after that.

“Luke?” MC turned to look at their friend. “Are you...”

Luke was backing away. That look in his eyes, he was... scared. Scared of MC...

“Y-you’re a d-demon?” He whimpered, taking another step back.

“Half demon, actually.” MC let their demonic elements disappear. “I meant to tell you, I really did! It just was never the right time-”

“You lied to me! You said you were human! But you’re a demon like the rest of them!” Luke shouted, he wiped at his eye with his sleeve and sniffled. “I tried to help you, but you just..! I thought you were my friend!”

“Luke- hang on!” MC took a few steps forward, but Luke was already running away. MC felt something twist in their gut, something awful. That ball of innate pride twisted and practically screamed, filling MC’s head.

“He’s not worth it!”

“You’re above him anyway...”

“If he can’t understand how perfect you are, he doesn’t deserve your kindness.”

“Don’t grovel for his forgiveness. He’s beneath you.”

“Your help was rejected. Let him hate you. You’re the child of one of the most powerful demons in the Devildom, who is he to make you upset?”

The thoughts filled MC’s head as they desperately tried to shut them up. They were their father’s child, their pride wouldn’t be easily combated.

“Just be quiet!” MC clawed at their head.

“You’re better than this. You’re better than this. You’re better than this-”

“Luke!” MC called out again. “I’m sorry!”

It truly was a shame that their friend didn’t understand how much an apology from MC really meant.

They guessed Luke was right, wasn’t he? Demons were nasty awful liars. MC was no different...

That hurt.

Lucifer noticed his kid was moping around, not even Detective Toe Beans could cheer them up. Mammon even came home covered in mud from a failed money-making scheme and it didn’t even make MC crack a smile! He needed to get to the bottom of this.

Upon hearing the reason for his child’s woes, he was fully ready to break down the door of Purgatory Hall and throttle the little chihuahua, but Lucifer came to his senses and realized that MC probably didn’t want that.

He teamed up with Simeon and Solomon the things he did for MC... And managed to get both Luke and MC to the Demon Lord’s Castle to hang out with Barbatos.

It didn’t take a genius to realize that Luke missed his friend too. Sure they called him a chihuahua sometimes, but they were still the bestest friend he had made during his time in the exchange program... maybe ever...

Maybe... just maybe... he overreacted. MC did protect him after all, and they never tried to hurt him...

Barbatos was fully ready to fulfill his role as Luke’s second dad and help his angel-son make up with his friend.

It may have been awkward at first, but the two had to join forces to stop Solomon from getting within a hundred metres of the kitchen. Nothing brings two people back together more than fear for your tastebuds.

Mission success. Lucifer could relax knowing that his kid and the chihuahua were back to being friends. Maybe MC could convince Luke to quiet his infernal yapping... Lucifer was trying to work here!

For some extra fluff, after many days of asking and asking, Lucifer and Simeon agree to take Luke and MC up to the human world for Halloween. They got to go trick or treating, and everyone complimented MC and Luke on their ‘costumes’.

*insert sitcom laugh track here*

Sure, it may have been a little immoral for MC to use their powers to manipulate the humans into giving Luke and MC more candy but... candy...

Oh shit would you look at the time- they had to get back to the Devildom for Diavolo’s birthday party- MC STOP WITH THE CHOCOLATE! THE SIGN SAYS TAKE ONE! DON’T BE LIKE MAMMON.

The exchange year had been a success. Well... sort of. MC wasn’t exactly the average Joe human the Student Council expected, which is why after a lengthy break where MC went back to the human world to visit their other parent and human friends, the seven rulers of Hell (+MC) were sitting and waiting for the new exchange students to arrive.

Unlike the previous year, the entire student council was present. That included Levi who they had to physically drag there, Belphie who was carried there and had to be placed in his seat because he was completely passed out, and finally Mammon, he just had to be threatened.

“Father,” MC pouted from their seat next to Lucifer. “Why isn’t my chair as big as yours?”

Lucifer sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Because you’re much shorter than me. You can have a bigger chair when you grow a few more inches.”

“Mmm...” MC murmured, crossing their arms. “Are the students going to get here, or what?”

“Can you be patient?” Lucifer asked. “They’ll be here any moment now. I can trust that you’ll behave, right?”

MC looked scandalized, placing a hand over their heart and gasping. “Father! Of course! I’ll be the most polite person these humans have ever met!”

Not so deep down, Lucifer severely doubted that.

“Come now, Lucifer and MC!” Diavolo said from his elevated seat. “It’s almost eight am!”

Right on schedule the portal opened, two sets of screams followed.

“The next big priority should be making the trip more comfortable.” MC huffed. “It’s demeaning getting dropped straight down like that and just slamming into the floor.”

“Hm.” Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Perhaps instead we can just teleport them up to the Celestial Realm, start a war, and have them crash through not one, not two, but all three barriers between the realms with no portal.”

“Father...” MC matched Lucifer’s eye roll. “That has the same energy as ‘when I was your age I walked to school 100 miles through a blizzard!’ The polite thing to do for the exchange students is to not let them hit the floor at 100 mph and possibly give them a concussion.”

And slam straight onto the floor the two other exchange students did. Well, one of them slammed right into the marble, the other had tried in vain to use their wings to slow their decent or fly back up.

Wait...

WINGS?!

WAIT THE OTHER HAD HORNS?!

THEY BOTH HAD-

Oh and would you look at that... one looked like... and the other looked like-

Shitballs.

Lucifer had to keep himself from actually shouting in frustration. One normal day... one day of no exchange student issues was all he asked for...

“Out of over ten million candidates out of over eight billion humans...” Lucifer grumbled. “How in my father’s name did this happen again?”

(OOOOOOOOOO SEQUEL BAIT!)

[descendantofthesparrow]

I put a Spell on you - Harry Hook x Sanderson! Reader - Halloween special one-shot

Halloween Harry Hook x reader

basic version of outfit for reader, can be changed as wished

VVVV 

=

Halloween night, 2007, on the isle of the lost.

Young 6-year-old Harry Hook sat in the hull of the jolly roger, pouting to himself as he picked at his scarce stolen candy.

The isle never got much in the way of candy, the most they got was during the month of Halloween that the parents of Auradon threw away early for some odd reason.

Though what candy the isle got was little, and the “good stuff” was still on Auradon.

And Harry had unfortunately gotten a bad pick of candy this year, nasty fruit ropes that tasted like death, molding “coconut” chocolate candy that was too mushy to really enjoy, and watermelon looking hard candy.

The best he got was little wrapped hard pieces of candy that looked like brown barrels that had a slight spice to them.

Harry dropped the piece of candy he was holding and sighed, starting to stand and getting ready to turn in for the night after the disappointing Halloween. “jus’ like last year” Harry mumbled, brushing off his horrifically made copy of his father's jacket, he paused, something rang across his ears. “wha’ was-“

Come little children, I'll take thee away

Into a land of enchantment

Come little children, the time's come to play

Here in my garden of magic.

“singing?” Harry quietly asked himself, turning towards where the voice was coming from. It seemed hypnotic or at least was supposed to be, but It had no grab to it as if it had lost its power.

But Harry's curious nature pushed him to seek the voice out. He snuck off his father's ship and followed the voice into the dark forest near pirates bay.

He ducked as he spotted an old slim woman, the one who was singing, waving her hands about and twirling.

“Winnie~” the woman stopped singing, spinning around and crossing her arms, and whining at a hidden figure “It's not working!”

“of course it's not you twit, the stupid barrier blocks our powers, we won't be getting any children tonight!” “wait!” a plump woman stepped into the mood light, her eyes glinting “I smell a child~”

“that’s just (y/n) you idiot!” the hidden figure scoffed, stepping next to the slim woman, and smacking her torso “keep your child inside sister, they will ruin our plans” “But we can use them to lure children! Maybe they can even lure a boy~”

“silence Sarah” the oldest woman scoffed, turning and walking back towards the rackety shack near a pond. “sistars!”

“coming Winnie!” the slim one called back, hiking up her dress and running after the oldest.

“But Winnie! The child!” the plump one moaned, turning her eyes right at Harry.

Harry held his breath and ducked behind a tree, freezing as he heard the woman sniff the air and continue to walk closer to his hiding spot. Wait…shit! he walked right into the Sander-

“Auntie! It's just me!” Harry's jaw dropped as a child, who seemed just around his age, popped up from behind the tree in front of him, a small smile on their face “sorry, but there's no other kids around”

The plump woman groaned and shook her head, stomping back into the shack. “little brat, fooling me”

The child watched until the door closed, slumping against the tree in relief as they looked at him “you shouldn't be here, you don’t wanna know what happens when my mom and aunts get their hands on kids” they walked over to him and pulled at the lapels of his jacket, the hood of their cloak falling as they did so.

They beamed at him “but im not gonna let anything happen to ya don’t worry……sorry I don’t know your name?” they tilted their head at him, their bright (e/c) eyes staring into his.

“H-Harry” Harry stuttered out, gasping as the child grabbed his hand and started pulling him the opposite way of the old shack the old woman were in.

“Nice ta meet ya Harry im (y/n)!” (y/n) chirped, flipping their hood back over their head and continuing to lead Harry out of the forest.

Moments later they reached the edge and (y/n) turned, grabbing Harry's arms, spinning around, and pushing him over the edge “now you have ta promise that you won't come back no matter what, and to never follow random singing” (y/n) pouted at harry, wiggling their finger in his face “it's too dangerous”

“I-um” Harry stuttered again, wringing his hands together before he stomped his foot “they aren’t even tha’ scary! I can take ‘em”

(y/n) just shook their head “doesn’t matter, they’ll eat you if they get the chance”

“e-eat me?!” Harry squeaked, taking a step back from (y/n) “wait aren’t yeh one of their kids- won't yeh eat me too?”

“no!” (y/n) shook their head defiantly, scowling at Harry “that’s just gross, eating kids, Id rather eat rotten candy” (y/n) crossed their arms and tilted their head at Harry “what you think all witches eat kids?”

“well, they-” Harry swallowed harshly “ur mums a Sanderson ain't she? She's known for tha’ “

(y/n)s shoulders dropped “well I’m not my mother” Harry felt slightly bad as (y/n) curled in on themselves, looking off.

“hey-i….thank yeh fer savin’ meh” (y/n) perked up, smiling at him.

“you’re welcome Harry, now DON’T got back into the forest on Halloween night ever again” (y/n) once more shook their finger in his face, pouting at him.

Harry nodded slowly, placing his hand on theirs and pushing their hand down “why Halloween night only?”

“because that’s when they think they are most powerful, and the only time they are brave enough to wander outside the shack….aunt Winnie makes me go out to get food and all that every other time” (y/n) explained, eyes turning to the sky and gasping.

“you have to get home! It won't be long before my aunt gets another idea to get kids, go go!” (y/n) pushed at Harry's shoulders, back towards pirate bay.

“Alright alright im goin’!” Harry yelled, shaking his head at the odd witch, he turned to start walking back towards his dad's ship when he stopped. He spun back around, watching (y/n) walk back into the forest. “wait!” (y/n) groaned and stopped, spinning around to look at him with raised brows.

“what” they snapped, glaring at him.

“will I ever see yeh again?” Harry asked, blinking in surprise as (y/n)s cheeks turned dark and they looked down at the forest floor.

“um-i-maybe…I have to go!” (y/n) turned and ran back into the forest to her home, leaving Harry at the forest edge.

=

12 years later, on Halloween night, Harry sat in his temporary room at Evie's castle, sitting on his bed while Gil and Uma sorted through their first real batch of Halloween candy.

Most of it had been leftovers from Evie's trick or treaters, but Evie had made them chaperone Dizzy, Celia, and the twins for their first Halloween.

And the younger VKs had somehow roped them into Trick or treating with them, which luckily the people of Auradon were nice enough to ignore that they were technically too old to trick or treat.

Harry could recount Evie scoffing at the “Age limit”, saying that no one is too old to trick or treat.

“Gil hand me that orange one” Uma muttered, chewing on a Butterfinger.

“The Reese's?” Gil asked, holding up the flat packaging and handing it to Uma.

“yep, thanks…Harry you good?” Uma asked, noticing Harry staring out the window.

“hm?” Harry turned back to her, his eyes drooping “ah, sorry Uma, zoned out”

“well, it has been a tiring night….I'mma head in for tonight, night boys”

“night Uma” Harry and Gil called back in chorus, Gil leaving after Uma a moment later, leaving Harry alone in his room.

Come little children, I'll take thee away

Into a land of enchantment

Come little children, the time's come to play

Here in my garden of magic.

Harry perked up, he knew that song…..he definitely knew that song.

Though this time, the hypnotic power it had was present, taking hold of his mind and dragging him out of his room and out the door of Evie's castle.

Harry walked deeper into the forest surrounding Evie's castle, the voice becoming louder as he walked.

Suddenly he was grabbed, the cackling of three women echoing in his ears.

“oh, it’s a boy! Hes Handsome too~I want to play with him~!”

“later Sarah, first we must take him along with the others back to the cottage, he’ll be the first for your child, let them experience the dark art of Magic!”

“ohhh! Yes! Let em’ learn, let ‘em learn, let ‘em learn!”

Harry's vision went black, and he woke later in a chair, something invisible tying him down to it.

“wha’?” Harry muttered, pulling at his arm “where…shit” Harry tried to wriggle his wrist to draw the small switchblade in his jacket sleeve when the three Sanderson sisters walked in, holding two small children in their arms.

“ohhh hes awake!” the thin one, Sarah he guessed, gasped, clapping her hands together.

Harry let out a snarl and thrashed in his chair, the sisters gasped and reeled back. “nasty one isn’t he” the one with the odd lips, Winnie, muttered “perfect for our little imp isn’t he Mary”

“perfect Winnie” the plump one snickered, licking her lips as she separated from her sisters and dragged one of the children over a chair next to Harry, forcing the young girl down into it and snapping her fingers, silver rope wrapping around the girl's arms and legs and binding her to the chair “there we go!”

Sarah giggled and grabbed the boy she had by the scruff of his zombie costume and dragged him over to the chair on Harry's left, pushing him into the chair and binding him with the silver rope that turned invisible like Harrys.

“ohhhh (y/n)~” Harry perked up….he knew that name?

From the door on Harry's right, someone stepped out from the shadows, wearing a long dark pink jacket that tapered off at their waist, a corset type top with fishnet under top underneath it, ripped black jeans with scuffed brown boots, a belt with a pouch resting on their left hip that held two beakers resting on their left thigh.

“yes, aunt Winnie” the teen witch sighed, their hood hiding their face from Harry. Winnie grabbed an odd brown colored spell book with an eye on it and handed it to the hooded teen.

“here, finish the life potion while we go get more children, the…pirate boy is yours to do what you wish with” Winnie patted the teens head and turned “Sistars!” she stormed out of the cottage, the two witches running after their sister.

“coming Winnie!!”

The door slammed shut, the teen watching the door for a good minute before they sighed and dropped the book on the table to their right “thank hades” they tipped their head back, ruffling their (h/c) hair and blowing a raspberry “thought they’d never leave” they rushed over to a cabinet and ripped the doors open, rummaging through spices and herbs. “wormswart wormswart, where are you wormswart-ah-ha!”

They spun around, holding a jar of some sort of liquid and opening it, a hiss of silver mist rising from the bottle, they held the bottle delicately over the cauldron holding the boiling potion of life and poured a single drop of wormswart into the potion.

The potion turned a sickly brown, sputtering into the teen witches face. “ugh” they groaned, leaning back and wiping their face.

They grabbed a large spoon and mixed the potion, stirring until it turned back into a dark green. “there we go, now they can't use it” the teen muttered, looking up and locking eyes with Harry. “now to get you all out of here before they come back!”

With a wave of their hand, a silver pocket knife appeared, and they speed-walked over to Harry, cutting the invisible ropes at his hands. “im sorry about this, I tried to spell them to sleep until tomorrow at dawn but im not very good at potions other than ruining them”

“(y/n)?” Harry asked aloud, the teen stopped, slowly looking up at Harry, their still bright (e/c) eyes widening.

“Harry! What-“ they stood, leaning over Harry and shaking their finger in his face, “I told you not to follow the singing!”

Harry smirked at them and mocked bite their finger, (y/n) gasped and reeled back, pouting at him and smacking his chest. “jerk, im saving you from being eaten and yet you repay me like this?”

Harry chuckled and grabbed the knife from (y/n)s hand, cutting the rope from his legs “sorry love, couldn’t resist”

“l-love?” (y/n) stuttered, backing away from Harry and staring at him oddly.

Harry just looked at them, making their cheeks turn dark “you….you grew up” they muttered, looking away from Harry.

“heh” Harry chuckled, standing from the chair and looking to his right “we should probably get them outta here huh?”

“y-yeah” (y/n) stuttered, waving their hand and another silver knife appeared, walking over to the boy while Harry kneeled next to the girl and started to cut them free. “I’ll need to break the spell my mom put on them before we take them back, otherwise they’ll get their hands on them again.”

Harry nodded, picking up the girl dressed like a princess and setting her on his hip, her head resting in his neck.

(y/n) picked up the boy and walked over to harry, muttering a counterspell under their breath, and with a snap of their fingers, the two kids snapped out of their trance. The Girl leaning away from Harry and looking from him to (y/n), her eyes wide.

“where-whats” her lip wobbled, starting to cry a bit. the boy stared at Harry with wide eyes.

“you’re Harry Hook” the boy whispered in awe, squeaking a bit as (y/n) rearranged their grip on him.

“that's all dandy but we have to get you both back to your homes, the witches will be back soon and I need to be here when they are”

Harry nodded, pressing the girl's face back into his neck and following (y/n) out to the back door.

“come on, the main town is this way!”

=

Harry and (y/n) dropped the girl off, who told them her name of Sofia, and hurried her inside. “now don’t go after random singing on Halloween okay, it only leads to bad things” (y/n) warned them, handing the young girl a slip of paper with markings on it “as long as you have this, you will be protected from my mother's song” Sofia nodded, unsure but ran into her house, slamming the door behind her.

“alrigh’” Harry sighed, shifting Elijah in his arms and looked at the young boy “where do yeh live?”

Elijah pointed across the street and down a few houses “tha’ close huh?” Harry muttered, letting the boy down and watching him as he ran toward his home.

The boy stopped as (y/n) called his name, turning as they jogged over to him and handed him another piece of paper “thanks” Elijah squeaked, bolting into his house and slamming the door closed.

(y/n) sighed, rubbing their face in exhaustion “two down….however many kids to go” (y/n) rolled their neck and looked over at harry “now lets get you home too”

Harry stared at (y/n) as they walked up to him and held out their hands “I didn’t do this with the kids because I know they would freak but I can teleport us to where you live”

“yeh can teleport?” Harry asked, tilting his head as he stared at (y/n)s hands.

“yep, me, my mother, and my aunts each have a special power, my mom has a hypnotic singing voice, my aunt Mary can sniff out any kid from miles away, and my aunt Winnie can shoot lightning from her hands” Harry nodded slowly, grabbing onto (y/n)s hands.

“so what now?” Harry asked, watching as (f/c) smoke started to rise around him and (y/n)

“where do you live?” (y/n) chuckled, smiling at him.

“uh, im staying at Evie's castle right now”

“oh, I know where that is!” (y/n) cheered, the smoke swirling around them for a moment before it dissipated, revealing them now to be in front of Evie’s castle.

“cool” Harry muttered, not noticing (y/n) look down at their still intertwined hands and hurriedly ripped their hands away from him, Harry turned to (y/n), furrowing his brows as (y/n) looked around with wandering eyes “don’t go back” (y/n) whipped around to look at him with surprise.

“i-what?”

“don’t go back, stay here” Harry pleaded, grabbing onto (y/n)s shoulders “yer not happy there, and yer gonna waste away being their slave”

(y/n) just stared at him, sighing as they grabbed his hands and slowly took them off their shoulders “I…..I have to, to protect the kids”

Harry sighed, biting his lip in thought “okay….but!” (y/n) looked at harry, confusion swimming in their eyes “after tonight, come back here, im sure Evie would be happy to accommodate yeh, i’ll even ask for extra measure” (y/n) shook their head, looking over their shoulder back towards the witches cottage.

“…okay” (y/n) sighed, giggling as harry beamed at them and grabbed their shoulders in his excitement.

“Okay!?”

“okkayy! I'll come back tomorrow after my mom and aunts are asleep” Harry grinned at (y/n), chuckling as (y/n) smiled back.

“but….why do you want me to come back after tonight?” (y/n) asked, tilting their head at harry.

“because you saved meh from them 12 years ago…might as well return tha’ favor?” Harry smirked, snickering as (y/n)s cheeks darkened.

“well…I should get back now….see ya later?” (y/n) stepped away from Harry, (f/c) smoke rising around them. “see ya later” Harry confirmed, waving (y/n) goodbye as the smoke complexly enveloped them and they disappeared.

Harry sighed, cracking his neck and walking back inside Evie's castle, sneaking back up to his room and flopping on his bed, closing his eyes and falling asleep instantly from the crazy night.

=

Harry sighed in relief as the next morning, when Evie turned on the tv and the Auradon news came up, some breaking news came up about how the Sanderson sisters had been caught attempting their old antics with stealing the life force of children and had been arrested.

And the child of Sarah Sanderson had been confirmed secretly helping the children escaped, as claimed by the many children saved by the teen witch.

“aint (y/n) Sanderson that kid you met on the isle when you were like, 6? Harry?” Uma asked aloud, looking over her shoulder at Harry as he stuck another piece of pancakes in his mouth.

He swallowed and nodded, picking at his scrambled eggs “aye, and I….shoot, Evie I saw ‘em again last night, and might have told them if they wanted to they could come here?”

“that’s perfectly fine” Evie gushed, wiping her flour-covered hands on her apron “I have plenty of room for them here, and-wait you saw them? How?”

“uhhh” Harry stalled, watching as Uma set her fork down and stared at him with raised brows.

“you did a stupid didn’t you?” Uma droned, leaning on her intertwined hands.

“uhhh, yes?” Harry winched, yelping as Uma sent a torrent of water at him “hey! I was bewitched! It wasn’t meh fault!” Harry pouted, crossing his arms.

Everyone went silent as Evie's front door got knocked on, Evie glanced at Harry and took off her apron, tossing it onto the counter and walking over to her door, slowly opening it and peeking around the door.

“oh! You must be (y/n)! Harry told us about you!”

“r-really? He did?” the teen muttered, gasping as Evie grabbed their wrist and dragged them in.

“yep! Now! Are you hungry?” Evie pushed them into the living room that doubled as a dining room that connected to the kitchen, (y/n) stared at all the vks, locking eyes with Harry.

“i-yes?”

“Great! I'll make you up a plate and you get acquainted with everyone!”

Evie clapped her hands and skipped back into the kitchen, giggling with Mal as (y/n) just stood awkwardly where Evie left her.

“yeh kept yer promise” Harry smiled, standing up and walking over to (y/n), putting his hands on his hips and leaning towards (y/n)

“uhh yep” (y/n) chuckled, rubbing their arm nervously “Im here?”

Harry chuckled at their awkwardness and grabbed their shoulder, shoving them into the middle of the room, in view of everyone “(y/n) this is everyone, everyone this is (y/n), they have saved my ass twice now”

“hi” (y/n) waved awkwardly, a small grin on their face. Uma stood from her seat at the island and walked over to (y/n), slowly circling her like a vulture. “ummm hi?”

Uma hummed, standing in front of (y/n), her eyes dark and revealing nothing….then she smiled, reaching out and patting (y/n)s shoulder “nice to meet you (y/n)”

(y/n) gave a small smile, “nice to meet you too….Uma? right?”

Uma nodded and nodded her head back at the island near the kitchen, where Evie was setting (y/n)s plate full of pancakes, eggs, and bacon. “yep that’s me, and your foods ready”

(y/n) slowly walked over to their food, taking off their bag that was slung over their shoulder and setting it on the floor, hesitantly starting to eat the food Evie had given them.

Almost comically, their eyes widened and they started to scarf down the breakfast. Evie giggled and tapped on the counter, grabbing (y/n)s attention “apple or orange juice?”

“apple please” (y/n) spoke with a mouth full of food, blushing as Evie giggled once more and walked over to the fridge, grabbing the bottle.

She poured the drink and set it in front of (y/n) who gently took the cup and started to drink, turning towards the tv as it went back to the Sanderson sister's arrest.

*they will be stripped of their magic and be sent to the new high-security prison implemented on the isle of the doomed.*

“how many kids did yeh save (y/n)?” Harry asked, turning to look at the teen witch. (y/n) swallowed her mouthful of bacon and shrugged.

“around 20, including you and those two kids, my aunts and mom didn’t get far before the Auradon guard was called on ‘em”

“hm” Uma nodded in approval, smirking at harry “good job”

Harry smirked back, standing and sitting next to (y/n), watching as Dizzy changed the channel to Sunday cartoons

“so do yeh think you’ll stick around?” Harry whispered, (y/n) turned to him, and smiled.

“yeah I think I will” they whispered back, leaning back in their chair and watching the show “Powerpuff girls” as it played.

Harry smiled, happy to have finally repaid his debt to the witch who had saved him all those years ago.

And it was going to be fun to tease them since they went all dark whenever he simply looked at them.

-end-

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[blacknight1230]

Halloween Treat

Jim Hopkins Imagine (Bully: Scholarship Edition)

You switch costumes with Pete, resulting in Jimmy enjoying your Halloween costume. 

Twas the night before Halloween. Your most favorite holiday spent at Bullworth Academy. The campus was decorating with glowing jack-o-lanterns, spooky ghosts and bats, and toilet paper hauntingly hanging from the tree branches. And best of all, the student body had free reign to wreak havoc this autumn night. Of course, no one was in there costumes now, a full twenty-four hours until you could do so. 

So, you were walking back to your dorms from the mess hall, when you saw a disgruntled Pete on the steps to the main school building. “Hey, Petey, what’s wrong?” you asked the small boy. “Oh, (Y/n), hey” he greeted, hurriedly getting to his feet. “Is everything okay? Is Gary picking on you again?” you questioned, worried about your friend. Pete just nervously shifted from foot to foot, not saying anything. “Petey, come on, talk to me. You’re worrying me,” you begged. “It's stupid, really. It’s not even a big deal,” Petey whined, avoiding eye contact with you. “Well, it obviously is if your this uptight about it. Come on, Pete o’boy, tell Momma (Y/n) all about your troubles. I promise I won’t laugh,” you pestered, poking the young boy repeatedly in the arm. “Ok, fine. It's about my costume,” Pete admitted, finally giving up. “Your costume?” You were confused now; how could Halloween get-up make his this miserable. “You see, I already picked out my costume for tomorrow night. I was really excited about it, but now I’m afraid to be seen in it!” Petey explained, pacing around as he stressed over the situation. “Why? Your costume can’t be that bad,” you tried to reassure Pete. “Ha-ha, well, it's not exactly something Gary or Jimmy would where that’s for sure,” he said, voice shaking. “Then what is it?” Petey sighed and glumly ushered you to follow him.

He led you over to the boys’ dorms and inside the building. You ignored the dilapidated surroundings and B.O. smell as Petey brought you to his room. It really shocked you how Bullworth treated the boys living conditions compared to the girls. Anyway, Petey brought you into his small room and closed the door, before turning to his wardrobe. He opened it up, showing you his costume hanging on the inside of wardrobe door. You didn’t say anything when you saw the bright pink, furry bunny suit. It even had a puffy tail and ears attached to it. 

Pete noticed your silence, frowning even more. “Now you see what the problem is. I can’t go out in that! I’ll be the laughing stock of the school and a prime target for the bullies!” he freaked out. “I don’t know what to say, Petey. Do you have another costume to go out in?” you questioned. “Nope. And I have to wear a costume tomorrow. Gary will notice and make fun of me for it.” You took a seat on Pete’s bed, the springs of the mattress squeaking as you put your weight on it. “Well, you’re definitely in a pickle.” “Hey, tell me about it.” 

Petey sat next to you, head in his hands. You lightly patted him on the back, “There there. You’ll get through this.” “If only I could switch my costume out with someone else,” Petey mumbled into his hands. A light bulb went off over you head, an idea popping your brain. “Petey, I think I might have an idea,” you excitedly told him. “Wha-, how?” “Just trust me, Petey. Give me your costume and I’ll have another one for you by tomorrow,” you explained. The young boy was hesitate for moment, but he eventually got up and grabbed the accursed bunny suit, handing it to you without a word. “Thanks, Petey, I swear, I won’t let you down!” YOu rushed out his room and towards the dorm hall’s exit, Petey wishing you a disgruntled good luck. Looks like I have a night of work to do, you thought. 

~ Time skip ~

It was officially Halloween. And everyone was celebrating like crazy. Pranks ensued as the prefects partied away and the teachers stayed in their lounge. You were walking the school grounds in the costume you spent all night sewing and hemming. A couple of guys ogled your form as you walked past, while the girls complimented you on the costume. You could only smirk as you sucked on a lolly-pop, making your way over to the front of the boy’s dorms. When you got there, you saw Gary, Jimmy, and Petey gathered on the steps to the dorms’ entrance dressed in their costumes. 

Garry was dressed up as a Nazi SS soldier, without the symbols and armband. I got to remember to scold him later, you thought, frowning at Garry’s choice of dress up. Meanwhile, Jimmy was dressed up as a skeleton, with black and white face paint, and Petey was dressed up in the Grim Reaper costume you gave him. It was actually the costume you planned on wearing and as it wasn’t gender specific, Petey could wear it without being worried about Gary making fun of him. But Gary being Gary was still pestering poor innocent Petey. 

“Come on, Femboy, where’s the bunny costume I got you? Don’t tell me you go rid of it,” Gary threatened. “No, Gary, I traded it with someone and they gave me this,” Petey protested, his voice muffled from behind his skeleton mask. “Don’t lie to me, Petey. You know I don’t like liars. No one would take that damn bunny costume,” Gary said while rolled his eyes. You decided it was time to make your presence known. 

“Hello boys,” you called out to them. All three of them turned to look at you, eyes widening at the sight of you. You stood before them in the tailored bunny suit, having cut off the legs and sleeves of the one piece. It was now a sleeveless, booty short one piece with a cinched waist and a lowered neckline. You accessorized the look with hot pink fishnet thigh high stockings and fingerless pink fishnet gloves that end below the elbows. To complete the look, you wore white combat boots and sexy bunny makeup. All three of the boys just stared at you, mouths wide open. Gary was the first to snap out of it, a wolf whistle coming out of his smirking mouth. “Look at you, (y/n). Say, are you going to be our little Playboy bunny for the night?” he teased. “Knock it off, Gary,” Jimmy snapped suddenly. Gary, for once, backed off. 

Instead his attention was focussed back onto his Big Prank, as he liked to call it. He forced all four of you to follow him to the side yard of Harrington House, where Chad and the other Preppies lived. It was only then did he explained his twisted little plan. “Ok, here’s the deal. We’re going to feed Chads dog a bunch of this rancid meat then wait for him to take a dump then -” Gary started, a sick smile on his face as he explained the prank formed in his evil little mind. “Man, what the hell. I’m out of here,” Petey cried in disgust, interrupting Gary. He ran away disgusted, Gary just shouting, “Whatever, Pete.” “This prank is nasty, even for you,” you sneered. “Let’s just do this, guys. I’ll explain everything later,” Gary huffed. 

You all turned to look around the corner of the archway leading into the side yard, where Chester, the aforementioned dog, was running around. But there was little problem in this ‘brilliant’ plan of Gary’s. Chad was in the yard, playing with the Staffordshire Bull Terrier via frisbee. “Shit, now what do we do,” Jimmy questioned. “What do you mean ‘what do we do’? We fight him, of course. Geez, Jimmy, are you really that much of a pea brain?” Gary snapped. Jimmy opened his mouth to retort back but you stopped him before he could. “Pipe it down, you two. Let me handle this,” you hissed. Without another word, you sauntered up to Chad, seductively swinging your hips. 

“Hey, Chad,” you greeted in a sing-song voice. “Oh, ah, hey there darling,” Chad replied once he saw you. You could already tell he was in the palm of your hand as he looked at you with love struck eyes. You were pretty sure it was because of your costume, for without it Chad and all the other boys never would have spared you a second glance. Using your sex-appeal to your advantage, you continued entrapping him in your web. “Oh, nothing. I’m just so bored and lonely tonight. Will a nice strong gentleman like you help me?” you drawled, trailing a gloved hand down Chad’s chest. Sweat started to accumulate around the prep’s hairline and he struggled with his next words. “I would love to, darling. What you wanna do?” “Oh I think I have an idea. You just have to follow me to somewhere a little more private,” you practically whispered into his ear. Chad tensed up and swallowed a lump in his throat, but he allowed you to take his hand and pulled him away from the side yard. 

You were just about lead into the space between the left side of the preppies’ dorms and the fence when Jimmy came up behind Chad hit him on the back of the head. The force of the blow caused Chad to fall to the pavement, knocked out cold. “Jimmy! What was that for?” you hissed. “I thought that was your plan. To lure him away and knock him out,” Jimmy said, a faint blush on his cheeks. Before you could figure out why the teen was blushing, Gary hurried past the both of you to Chester. “Who cares what the chick was going to do? We got what we needed,” he voiced over his shoulder as he kneeled down to the dog. “Here you go boy. Have a little trick for a treat. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum,” he said to Chester as the staffy ate the meat. Immediately after finishing, Chester started whining as he squatted over the grass. “That’s gross!” Jimmy exclaimed as he crossed his arms in disgust. “Poor little guy,” you worried, holding your nose as the barely digested meat exited the poor pooches rear end. As soon as Chester finished with his business, Gary gathered the fecal matter into a brown paper back. 

“Score! Alright let’s go to the teacher’s lounge,” Gary ordered. The three of you ran towards the main school building, entering by one its back exits onto the main floor. Jimmy placed the bag of doggy doo in front of the door of the teacher’s lounge. As soon as he set it down, Gary lit a match and brought it close to the paper back. “Are you sure this is a good idea, Gary?” you distressed. All you could think of was possible setting the building on fire. “Don’t worry. It will be funny,” Gary threw off your worries. “Just pulled the fire alarm, Jimmy, and watch fun begin.” Jimmy did as Gary said, striding up to the nearby fire alarm on the opposite wall. He looked around before grabbed the handle and pulling it down. 

The air filled the sounds of alarms as Gary, Jimmy, and you hid around the corner. “What the hell is going on?” you heard one of the teachers shout from within the teacher’s lounge. The door opened to reveal Mr. Burton, who once he saw the paper back on fire, tried to put it out by stomping on it. He successfully put out the small fire but now the bottom of shoes where covered in disgusting, half-digested, port-a-potty smelling dog shit. Mr. Burton screamed and gagged as he tried to get the animal turds off his sneakers. You all couldn’t help but laugh as you all ran away and out the side exit, rushing away from the scene of the crime. Next thing you knew, you all were by the front of the academy’s gates, near the dorms. 

All of you struggled to breath, hands on your knees as you hunched over from both laughter and the sprinting. “That ... was the most brilliant ... and hilarious ... prank I’ve ever seen!” you complimented Gary. “Even I have to admit, that was a great prank, Gary,” Jimmy confirmed.  Gary got a wicked smile on his face, immensely enjoying being complimented on his ‘superior’ brain. “Thank you, thank you, hold your applause, please. I know you all love me,” he boasted, mock bowing to you guys. “Ok, don’t get so full of yourself,” Jimmy sassed. “Whatever, man. You two have fun jacking each other off. I’m going to steal some candy from the nerds,” Gary answered back. He ran off before you and Jimmy could yell at him. 

“Well, tonight was surprisingly fun,” you turned to Jimmy. “Looks like my first Halloween in Bullsworth is a success. It's a bummer that its ending already,” Jimmy replied. A light bulb went off over the top of your head, an idea forming in your mind. “Who said it was over? Follow me,” you announced. You sprinted towards the girl’s dorms, motioning Jimmy to follow you. You heard the sound of Jimmy’s footsteps following you as ran to the right side of the building. Quickly and efficiently, you climbed up the lattice bolted to the brick wall and up to the open window on the third floor. Once you stepped foot in the large attic space, you helped Jimmy climb in behind you. 

“Whew, you are surprisingly fast,” Jimmy huffed out, struggling to catch his breath after the sprinting and high climb. “Thanks, Jim. Come have a seat,” you acknowledged his compliment. You led Jimmy over to a small area of the attic where you had a pile of comfy pillows and blankets, a tiny tv with a built in VCR situated next to the wall. Fairy lights were struck through the rafters above it, barely lighting up the windowless area. You sat on the pile of pillows and turned on a battery operated camping lantern, finally allowing the both of you to see clearly what you were doing. As Jimmy took a seat next to you, you pulled out a bowl filled with candy. “Want some?” you offered the teen. “Where did you get these?” he questioned, grabbing a handful of assorted candy. “My parents sent me a care package of sorts. They know how much I love Halloween,” you explained, picking out a single piece of (favorite candy). “Wish my mom did something like that. She’s too busy hanging out with her 5th husband on their honeymoon to even think about me,” Jimmy complained. You could see thinking of his absent mother really upset hi, their relationship not on the best of terms. You nudged Jimmy on his costumed shoulder, trying to get him out of this little funk. “Come on, let’s pick out a movie to watch. I have a couple to choose from,” you said. Jimmy gave you a warm smile as you pulled a small pile of VCRs. 

The night continued with you and Jimmy stuffing your faces on candy and popcorn as you watched movies from within your secret chilling out spot. You were in the middle of the first movie, a classic slasher film, when Jimmy said something. “Hey, (y/n), back when you were distracting Chad, were you really going to ...” he trailed off. You pulled your eyes away from the TV screen, studying Jimmy. He was sitting on a couple of different colored pillows, leaning back on one of his outstretched arms and feet kicked out in front of him. He was refusing to look you in the eye, signaling that something was up. “What? Oh, that!” you realized what he was talking about. “No! Absolutely not! I was just trying to lead Chad away so we could get what we needed for the prank.” 

Jimmy looked relieved, the tension in his shoulders releasing as he let out a sigh. “Ok. Good. I just thought maybe you had a thing for him or something,” he explained. “Jimmy, do think I really would let anyone get with me like that?” you sassed. “Pff, well you are dress up as a more modest Playboy bunny. Any boy would fall for you dressed like that?” he replied, rolling his eyes. It seemed he was trying to change the subject. “Oh, so does that mean you like my costume, Jimmy? Has this little bunny gotten to ya?” you teased. Jimmy’s cheeks got red, as he no longer had his skull face makeup on. He started to stutter out half formed words, his tongue all twisted. You liked seeing so flustered like this. Seeing how you made him this way was kind of cute. 

Since meeting Jimmy that faithful school day you started to grow some feelings for the short stocky teen. Seeing how he stood up to bullies, student and faculty alike, and how determined he was to rise to the top in order to survive the hellhole that is Bullsworth was most likely the cause. As well as the way he was so kind to you despite not really fitting in with the cliques of the student body. Heck, you weren’t even that close to Petey and Gary before Jimmy came along. Jimmy brought out the best in you and you loyally followed him on his chaotic adventures, even if they weren’t something you could see yourself doing. 

So, your heart fluttered in your chest as you watched Jimmy struggle to find words to talk to you. “I - I actually do like your costume,” he finally admitted. Your heart soared and you tried to hide the impact his compliments had on you. “Really? What do you like about it? It’s nothing specially,” you bashfully replied. “Well, first it brings out your figure without revealing too much. It’s eye catching,” he revealed sheepishly. You could feel yourself blushing under your halloween makeup, it badly hiding your pink cheeks. “Thank you ...that means a lot coming from you,” you replied, flushed. 

A stiff awkward silence followed, both of you trying to focus on the slasher film on the tiny TV. You reached over to grab a handful of popcorn without looking, but instead of grabbing the buttery treat, you ended up grabbing Jim’s hand as he also reached for the popcorn without looking. Your breath hitched at the feeling of his warm rough hand in yours, secretly reveling in the sensation. Your eyes trailed down to your conjoined hands, up his arm, and to his face. You were meet with dazzling brown eyes staring into your own. The world seemed to stop as you gazed at Jimmy’s freckled filled face, traces of his face paint still lingering on his skin from where he failed to wipe it off. You noticed the distance between you two was slowly disappearing as subconsciously leaned into each other. “Aw, fuck it,” you heard Jimmy mumble before closing the little distance between you two. 

Jimmy’s lips met yours roughly, a little ‘Mmm!’ escaping from you. You couldn’t help but grab onto his stocky shoulders and melt into the kiss, quietly sighing as you did so. You could feel Jimmy’s hands move to grip your waist, everything feeling hot as stereotypical kissing noises filled the attic as you two moved your lips against each other. He taste like candy, you thought to yourself as a hand threaded through his short orange hair. 

You could have gone on forever connected this way, but you were both human beings who need air to survive. So you unhappily had to separate from each other, gasping for air as you did so. You trailed a hand gently down Jimmy’s freckled cheek as he looked at you with hooded eyes. You could see the longing within them, one of his hands slowly moving off of your hip, it leaving a lingering touch. “J-Jimmy ...” you stuttered out, not knowing what to say. “That was great. God, how could I not have done that sooner?” Jimmy wondered out loud. “Done it sooner?” you pondered, brain all fuzzy from the kiss. “(Y/n), I like you, a lot. And after seeing Chad’s hands all over you ... I couldn’t handle it,” Jimmy confessed. You thought you died and went straight to heaven. No way your crush was confessing to you. “So, I what I’m basically trying to say is ... will be my girlfriend?” Jimmy finally asked. 

You couldn’t stop yourself, planting a kiss right on Jimmy’s reddened lips. You felt Jimmy freeze up from the unexpected action, pulling away from the stiff boy to give him your answer. “Of course, Jimmy. I would be stupid not to,” you said, smiling from ear to ear. A similar smile broke out on Jimmy’s face, reaching out to you to pull you into another kiss. You happily let him, the smile still on your lips as were locked in a passionate embrace. Jimmy pulled you closer as you practically sat on his lap, his hands firmly holding you in his arms. “Best Halloween treat ever,” he chuckled, before proceeding to a makeout session. Best Halloween treat, indeed. 

[maraudersbutmuggle]

Halloween, 2016. Part 1.

This is the alternative version of the horrible events of Halloween 1981. Don't worry they won't be as angsty as the original. This is kind of the climax of my story. I want to finish with this. And then write events from before to complement the story. And then keep up with random stuff about my Universe.

Content Warning: Insanity, Sick Obsession, Harassment, Violence, Bullying.

Snape:

December, 2015

Life was unfair, Severus thought. Sometimes evil seemed stronger than good. Sometimes life was too hard to handle. Especially without Lily Evans.

"Welcome to Zen Pharmacy"

Severus' boss had explicitly told him to smile to costumers. But how could he smile if his life was miserable.

"I would like those diapers..." the old lady in the counter pointed behind. "Robby is starting to wet the bed..."

Severus sighed. Seriously, what was the point of studying in one of the most prestigious schools, if he was going to end up selling diapers to elder people.

"I want pills for my stomach... I have too many gases..."

This was not going to be temporal. Severus was planning something big.

The Rightful Prince had to pretend to be a merchant in town. Meddle between popular plebs. Otherwise The Vicious King would find him, and kill him. And he couldn't let Lady Flower in his hands forever...

"Excuse me, sir..." the old lady spoke again "Can you help me carry my bags to my car?"

Severus sighed again.

On his walk home, Severus tried calling Mulciber again.

The Prince was searching for an strategy. Something to help him reach the castle unnoticed. But his former friends turned to be The King's spies. They had betrayed him...

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mulciber... It's me"

"Me who?"

Severus rolled his eyes.

"Me Severus..."

"Oh hello man, we haven't seen each other since Hogwarts. How are you?"

Severus clenched his teeth.

"We spoke last week, remember?"

In that very precise moment, a boy in the bus started crying. Not only crying but yelling. And he was next to Severus.

"Shit..." Severus murmured "Do you have it?" he spoke to the phone.

"What?"

"THE JOB MULCIBER!" Severus yelled "You told me your father can get me a job"

"Oh yeah..." Mulciber said, then he asked "What's that sound?"

The little boy was yelling even harder. And his stupid mother was not doing anything about it.

"Nothing... So?"

"Sorry, Snape..." Mulciber sniffed "There's no chance. You know how difficult it is"

Not for them. Not for the rich brats who had assured jobs from their daddies.

"Can you at least talk to your father?" Snape tried "I was a KNIGHT! I thought I was your friend"

Severus had done nasty things for that mother fucker.

"Yeah... I'll let you know as soon as a vacancy is open...."

"Okay but..."

But Mulciber had already hung up. Severus groaned.

There were some beasts amongst The Prince. Most of them were corrupted by the King. By his dark magic. The Prince needed to restore everything to normal. But he had to be patient.

Severus got home. He had left his parents after graduation because he couldn't stand Tobias anymore. The freaking monster. The monster that Eileen used to love. Or still did. Severus had tried to take her with him. But she refused. Eileen reminded Severus of Lily. Nice ladies in love with monsters.

He reached his room. And there it was. The wall. Severus' room looked like the police department. Photographs. Connected dots. Pinpointed information about the enemy. The Marauders. Especially Potter. Their movements. Relationships. Work places. Unis. The pubs they frequented. Severus needed to know everything to attack.

***

The Vicious King and his courtship walked around The Kingdom Hogwarts with such elegance, smirking. They acted like saints when all of their crimes could send them to an eternity of flames in hell.

The Vicious King. The Vain Knight. The Slow Servant. And the Horrible Beast. They called themselves: The Marauders. And The Prince would stare. Useless watched how they corrupted this earth.

"Alright, Snivellus?" The King would say when he spotted him. Always dragging attention to himself.

"Alright, Evans?" he would smirk at Lady Flower next. He was furious that she was the only lady in the kingdom that didn't succumb to his power.

"Bad now that you are here" Lady Flower spat. The Prince had admired her courage.

The courtship of morouns was laughing. Mocking everything as they used to.

The King got furious.

"At least I smell nicer than your boyfriend" he said "You know the showers can actually be used, Snivy? They are not for decor"

The other three giggled. The Servant was drooling in delight with his master. And the Beast was silent. Ready to be instructed to attack. The Beast was The Knight's favorite pet.

"Shame, Potter" Lady Flower used her power "You actually take a shower but it doesn't work!"

"Just leave it, Lily" The Prince wanted her as far away as possible. The King's power could get to her.

"Don't worry. We are nice people. Are we not?" The Knight dared to speak "We're going to teach you Snivy how to take a bath"

The Knight walked closer. And The Prince fought the urge to cut his head with his sword. But he was ready for battle.

"First you apply some... soup" The Knight threw a spell at him. Liquid soap that burned his eyes.

The Prince didn't see it coming. But now the King and the rest were amused by The Prince's humiliation.

"You twat!" Lady Flower yelled.

"Well instructed, Padfoot" The King adored his Knight "And then comes the water..."

And the spell of cold water fell on The Prince. He hadn't seen the bottle in the King's robes.

They laughed. Everyone in the Kingdom. In unison. And The Prince knew they had been already contaminated.

"ASSHOLES!"

Expect for Lady Flower.

"Are you okay, Sev?"

The Prince coughed. But he was fine. He was sad to have lost his kingdom. At least he still had Lady Flower.

But Severus didn't have her anymore. He could only observe her from the distance. No touch. No contact. He was a coward.

He was thinking about talking to her finally. Something casual. This could be his chance. She was alone. Walking through the streets of London. She had met her sister previously. Another beast, Petunia was.

So Severus saw her enter a grocery store near by. And he decided to intervene.

Lady Flower looked the same. But The Prince could see the dark magic in her eyes. He knew she was cursed. And the King got her captured. But The Prince needed to talk to her. At least once.

"Lily?"

Lily turned and blinked in surprise when she saw him.

Severus chuckled.

"What a surprise seeing you here. I almost didn't recognise you"

Lily smiled awkwardly.

It was normal. The spell was too strong to break.

"Hi Sev..." she looked around.

The Prince tried again.

"I haven't seen you since Hogwarts..."

"A year ago, yes" Lily nodded "How are you?"

Always so kind.

"I'm alright" he smiled "You know, working. Trying to survive"

"You didn't go to Uni?"

"I didn't have the money" Severus looked down "But I'm trying to gather it. You?"

"I study Journalism..."

"Like you wanted to"

Lily smiled and nodded shyly.

"That's nice"

If only The Prince could take her somewhere apart. To try and break the spell. But he needed to make sure The King was not around.

"Are you still with... Potter?"

Severus knew she was. He had seen them together. Walking to the movies. Or sharing a meal. Even kissing in Potter's car. He was sick.

"Yeah..." Lily licked her lips, nervously.

"Cool..." Severus tried to be as normal as possible. He needed to have Lily in good terms "Is he around?"

"Nah... He's at work" Lily said "Effie asked my to buy some apples for her famous apple pie"

Severus faked a smile.

"You live with The Potters now?"

This was worse than The Prince had expected. Lady Flower had been moved to the main tower. And The King probably had servants to watch over her.

"Temporarily..." Lily snorted.

Severus nodded.

"Hey... It's nice to see you again, Lily" Severus smiled "I've missed you"

Lily sighed "Sev..."

"Don't worry. I won't try anything bad" he said "I'm glad you're happy with Potter" all lies "And I've changed. I want to be a better man. Someone new. I don't even talk to the Knights anymore" that in part was true.

Lily simply nodded.

"Would you want to grab a coffee with me?" Severus tried "Just to catch up"

"I don't know..."

"Come on" Severus said "We can be friends again. Like we used to..."

Lily looked reluctant.

"God knows I need a friend now..." Severus sighed.

The spell was there. But Lady Flower was pure kindness. She wouldn't say no to let a helping hand to the unfortunate souls.

"Okay..." she said "Why not?"

Severus smiled "Really?"

Lily smiled too "Yeah. I need a friend too"

The Prince tried to remember that Lady Flower was indeed bewitched. She looked like the docil, beautiful and wonderful woman he used to remember. Lady Flower used to love him. They had sworn to always be together under the moonlight, naked after intense hours of passion.

Okay no. Severus wished. Not even a kiss. But maybe soon.

"I work at Zen's" Severus was saying "The Pharmacy... It's actually a decent job. The clients love me"

They had talked for 20 minutes and Severus could not tell her that he was miserable. It was part of the strategy.

"That's nice, Sev"

"How's Uni?"

"It's nice..." Lily smiled "People are fun to be around. Teachers are excellent. And really I love my career"

"I know. It was your dream to be a journalist" Severus said "I'm happy you are making it true"

"Thank you" Lily took a sip of her coffee.

"Do you still see people from Hogwarts?"

"Just my friends"

I used to be your friend. Severus thought.

"The boys. And Mary, Marlene and Dorcas" she continued "Sometimes I see Alice and Frank. Remember them? Oh and Edgar. But not so much... You?"

"No one"

Severus knew how The Knights still gathered. And made crazy parties. But they never invited him. Never. He had no one.

He had worshiped The Knights to be someone in life. To have a bright future ahead of him. But that hadn't happened. And he had lost Lily in the process.

No. It had been The King's work. Lady Flower would still be his if it wasn't for The Vicious King.

The Prince would get rid of him.

"I'm sorry to hear that..."

"Don't worry about it" Severus said "I reckon the only real friend I had was you"

Lily stared at him with pity and concern.

"Maybe we can be friends now" she tried.

Severus' strategy was working. He just have to play his cards right...

"I'd like that..."

"Okay..." Lily chuckled "There's something you need to know then"

Severus had hope. Maybe he could get her back. He just have to follow his plan and....

"I'm pregnant"

No. No No No No. The Prince had thought about the atrocities The King must've been doing to Lady Flower. But he forgot about that tiny detail. That was the worst thing that The Vicious King had done until now. Of course... He wanted an heir. To continue corrupting the Kingdom . Him and all his descendants. But mate with Lady Flower? His Lady Flower. The Prince was definitely going to kill him. He would go to the end of world to destroy that evil man.

Severus was in shock. He blinked hard. He was surely going to have a heart attack.

"Sev?" Lily asked concerned.

"You're so stupid!"

"Excuse me?"

"How could you let him do that to you?" Severus said "He ruined your life..."

Lily snorted "I can't believe it"

"Lily you're nineteen" Severus continued "You are studying a career. You're brilliant. You have a future ahead of you. And you're going to ruin that for child?"

"I'm such an idiot..." Lily said "It always happens"

Severus looked at her confused.

"I always want to see the best in you. And I always want to believe you. And I just don't fucking understand how horrible you actually are..."

No. No. No. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Severus was doing so well. Fuck... He had gotten so angry that he had opened his stupid mouth.

But this definitely changed plans. The Prince not only had to get Lady Flower back. And kill The King. But also, get rid of that child before it was born.

Lily stood up.

"I'm leaving..."

"No... Lily. I'm sorry... Wait..."

"NO!" Lily yelled "I'm tired of always falling into the same trap. You know? All this time, I wondered about you. If you were okay. If you had found someone. If you were happy" she snorted, and shook her head "I'm so stupid... And you keep hurting me. You're just a selfish wanker, who didn't even care about me. James is right. You're not worth trying..."

Severus felt an immense rage. He had brainwashed her mind. It was all his fault. HIS HIS AND ONLY HIS. James Freaking Potter had ruined Lily's life. He had ruined Severus' life. And he had broke them apart.

Lady Flower was not the same that The Prince fell in love with. Maybe she was gone forever.

"I said wait, Lily!" Severus grabbed Lily's arm tightly.

"Sev... Let me go..." Lily protested, He didn't listen "Severus, you're hurting me!"

"Is everything okay?"

Severus hadn't noticed how furiously he was staring at Lily. How he was hurting her arm. And how she looked at him in fear. He only noticed when the cashier of the coffee shop approach them.

Severus immediately let her go.

"Was this man hurting you, Miss?" he asked Lily.

Lily rubbed her arm. And looked at Severus like she didn't recognize him.

"No sir... Don't worry" Lily said "I was just leaving"

"I wasn't doing anything. We're friends. Right?"

"Not anymore" Lily answered. With tears in her eyes. "We are done"

"Lily we were talking about your pregnancy...."

But Lily was walking to the door already.

"Lily I overreacted.... Lily..."

Severus tried to go after her. But the cashier stopped him.

"You better let her go, sir" he said "Or I'll be obligued to call the police"

"Fine..." Severus pushed him away "I'm just gonna go my own way..."

He started walking to the door too.

"Sir?"

Severus turned irritated.

"You have to pay for the coffees"

Severus clenched his teeth. He took out his wallet. And tossed a bill to the floor.

"That shit tasted like piss anyway..."

And Severus walked through the door. Lily was no where to be seen.

"FUCK!"

The King surely knew how to move his pieces. He was intelligent and knew how to make The Prince lose his temper. The Prince had one Achilles' talon: Lady Flower. And The King had her. And he was going to use her against him.

A child. A child. A freaking child.

The Prince's game had to give a turn. He needed another plan to destroy the King. And this time, The Prince would not have mercy.

The King was going to pay. And his stupid courtship. And Lady Flower was going to realize her mistake.

They would see.

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Kinks

The Devil Wears Nada

Summary: Steve’s fed up of getting cock blocked during what was supposed to be bit of alone time and would make a deal with the Devil herself to get some alone time with his wife… Warning: SMUT SMUT SMUT- (NSFW, 18+) Like seriously, if you’re under 18 get off my blog.

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark.

A/N: This is possibly the filthiest thing I’ve ever written...and I’m not even sorry. It follows on directly from Bumps In The Night which was written by @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ as part of Stark Spangled Banner’s Birthday Party. Give it a read, its wonderful!

SSK Masterlist // WIYPT Masterlist

 Katie and Steve headed back inside, Katie diverting into the lounge to go and retrieve the candy off the kids before they ate too much of it in one sitting. Steve had to snort at the various cries of protests that rang round the lounge and his wife’s stern voice telling the three children in there that she didn’t care if it was Saturday, they weren’t consuming enough E-numbers to fuel an army before bed. He made his way into the kitchen and was completely unsurprised to find Bucky already had his head buried in the fridge.

“Make yourself at home.” He deadpanned and Bucky looked at him, thrusting a beer in his direction. “Gee thanks.” Steve’s dry sarcasm still present as he looked at his friend who was offering him his own fucking beer. Bucky grinned and shrugged as he passed one to Sam as well as he strode into the room, the three men popping the tops. Steve took a long pull from his as he eyed Bucky “Why are you here?”

“Rude much?” Bucky asked, his eyes still checking out the contents of the refrigerator. “We were concerned uncles…you weren’t with the kids.” “They were with Emmy and Queens” Steve arched an eyebrow “Perfectly safe.”

“They showed up on Tin Man’s doorstep.” Sam grinned “We were halfway through studying a couple of files and they basically swamped us and said it was their last stop of the night. Bucky thought it would be fun to come back with them.”

“To bug the crap out of me or…”

“I wanted candy.” Buck shrugged.

“Then you should have gone Trick Or Treating.” Steve replied “And let’s face it, with a face like that, who needs a mask?”

“Ouch, Stevie…” Bucky looked at him as Sam chuckled in the background, before he turned his attention back to the fridge “Oooh, your Missus made a cheeseboard.”

“What are you a fuckin’ mouse?” Sam asked as Bucky pulled out the platter, setting it on the side.

“Just ‘cause I appreciate the good things in life, Seagull and you can’t.” Bucky shrugged, unwrapping the film from the cheese. “You know, Steve was just like this growing up.”

“Yeah, well, now I have better taste and I’m also big enough to kick your ass so stop eating my food and go home before I throw you out.”

“What’s got into you?” Bucky looked at him.

“You’re disrupting my plans.” Steve said simply.

“What pl-ooooooh!” Buck’s question morphed into a noise of acknowledgment as he looked at his friend “Then you should have taken advantage of the empty house earlier.”

“School boy error, Cap.” Sam smirked and Steve let out a growl of frustration.

“Well our various attempts to were thwarted one way or another, and now you two punks are ruining it again.” Steve glared at them “Put the cheese back and piss off.”

Bucky smirked. “Imma tell Katie you’re being nasty to me.”

Steve narrowed his eyes knowing full well the soft spot his girl had for Bucky and Sam. If she got so much as a sniff he was being a bit of a shit to either of them he’d be in for it. “You wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn’t what?”

At the sound of his wife’s voice Steve jumped and turned to see her clutching the huge bowl that had previously contained their candy by the door and now sported the combined content of their kids’ bags, Harry toddling behind her, his eyes fixed on the prize.

“Oh this is gonna be good.” Sam smirked, leaning off to the side unwrapping a Reeses which he pulled out of his pocket, slowly chewing as if watching a movie.

“Hey Doll Face” Bucky grinned at her “Steve won’t let me eat the cheese.”

“Ignore him, you help yourself Buck.” She waved to it as she passed Steve the bowl of candy “Stop being so moody, stick that up high somewhere.”

“You know that won’t stop Jamie, Rori or him don’t you?” Steve looked at her as she picked Harry up who watched shrewdly as his dad placed the bowl on the top shelf of one of the cupboards “All 3 of them had scaled the refrigerator by the time they were 2.”

“No but it might delay them enough for us to catch them.” She shrugged, her eyes moving to Bucky who was eating a block of cheddar like it was an apple “Buck, do you want some crackers or…”

Bucky nodded but Steve cut him off. “No he doesn’t.”

“Yes I do.” Bucky smirked as Katie looked at Steve, arching an eyebrow at his unusually frosty nature towards his friends. She set Harry down on the counter by Bucky who grinned at the toddler, offering him his hand in a hi-five. Harry grinned and slapped his Uncles palm before he looked at the cheese.

“Absolutely not pal.” Steve said to him and Harry looked up.

“Dinosaurs don’t eat cheese.” Bucky shook his head at Harry who stared at him and blinked before he shrugged.

“But I hungry.”

“You can’t possibly be.” Katie looked at her son

“I am Momma.”

“Now look what you’ve done.” Steve glared at Bucky.

“Me?” Bucky scoffed, his mouth full “What did I do?”

“Set him off, look, why don’t you go and eat Jen’s cheese?” Steve asked and at that there was a pause before Sam, Katie and Bucky all burst out laughing. Steve groaned “Ok, that came out wrong.”

Sam snorted “that’s what she said.”

Katie laughed harder and Bucky grinned, swallowing his mouthful as Katie headed into the pantry. “Innuendo aside, I can’t. She’s got something going on at the coffee shop. Bunch of teenagers doing Halloween activities or something, I don’t know. She won’t be free until later.” He turned to Katie as she walked back in, handing him the box of crackers and he thanked her “So I thought I’d come see my best friends for a beer seeing as it’s not even half 8 on a Saturday yet.”

Katie smiled at him “You two are always welcome here, you know that. Isn’t that right Steve.”

Steve fixed a smile on his face and glared at Bucky who was positively beaming at the fact he knew he was being a cock-block. “Course it is honey, course.”

“Right my little Jurassic baby…” Katie picked Harry up and he giggled, the hood of his dinosaur costume falling over his eyes. “Bath time.

“No bath Momma” he shook his head furiously, looking up at her as she pushed the clothing back off his head “I have one tomorrow.”

Katie looked at him, “Your face is filthy.”

“Wash my face then.” He looked at her and Katie raised her eyebrows and looked at Steve who chuckled.

“Wanna help me out here daddy?” Katie asked and Steve looked at his son.

“Ok, how about momma washes your face tonight but you’re having a bath first thing in the morning.” Steve looked at Harry as his son considered it for a second. It was late after all. Skipping bath night one evening wouldn’t kill him.

“Deal” Harry nodded, holding his hand out. Steve shook it as Bucky and Sam both gave snorts.

“You need a hand?” Steve asked.

“No, I got it.” Katie shook her head “I’ll get him sorted. You can send Rori and Jamie up in 15 though.”

“Sure.” Steve nodded.

“Say goodnight Harry.” Katie said, turning round so Harry could see Sam and Bucky.

“Goodnight Harry” he grinned, before he cackled at his usual joke. The tot had no idea why it was funny, but when he had first said it, it had cracked both Katie and Steve up so now he seemed to say it every night. Bucky and Sam obligingly laughed as Steve dropped kiss to his son’s head, before pecking Katie’s cheek as she carried him out of the kitchen.

**** Half an hour later, after Rori had done one final parade around the kitchen in her princess cat outfit, beaming when Bucky had declared her the “prettiest kitty cat in all the world” and Steve had once more told her “no, you can’t have a real cat”, all 3 kids were clean and in their rooms. Harry and Rori were both tucked up in bed, lights off, whilst Jamie was watching TV with a warning from Steve that he had 30 minutes before it was time to turn it off. Steve knew Jamie would listen, it was part of the deal that he got to have a little time like that in his room as he was the eldest one now. Jamie took it seriously, knowing full well that abusing said privilege would mean it was revoked just as it had been a few weeks months when he’d been giving Steve some serious back chat and cheek. Steve had sent him to his room and Jamie had simply shrugged responding sarcastically “Fine, I’ll go watch my TV, what a huge punishment.” Steve had seen red and headed straight into the garage before coming back with a pair of pliers. He’d walked straight into Jamie’s room, cut the plug off the TV leaving his son staring at him, open mouthed as he breezed out of the room with a simple “watch it now, smart ass…”

The 4 adults were all sat in the lounge, sprawled across the various sofas with a drink each as the fire roared giving the large living room a cosy, homely feel. Stark was stretched out on the rug in front of the fire, snoring slightly, and the stereo was on playing a little background music whilst the rain pattered against the large ceiling to floor windows. Steve adored this time of year for precisely this reason. Katie snuggled under his arm, her back resting against him as she lay stretched out down the cushions, his arm looped around her crossing her chest. The hand that wasn’t holding her wine was gently rubbing over his forearm, her nails softly skating across the skin. Steve dropped a kiss to her head as they both listened to Sam who was recalling how Bucky had ended up with a load of candy stuck on the hand of his metal arm without realising, which he had then stuck in his hair when he’d run his hand through it.

“He cried like a bitch when I was pulling the gummy bears out.” Sam grinned and Steve tipped his head back, a huge laugh rumbling through his chest as Bucky glared at him.

“Punk.” He looked at Steve who simply smirked and took a drink from his bottle

“You know, I gotta say that these kids take it to the next level nowadays.” Sam swallowed a mouthful of beer. “I mean, some of those costumes are awesome. We saw a really cool Iron Man who had the reactor in his chest all lit up.”

Katie smiled “Yeah, Tony does seem to be a popular choice.”

“We got a Captain America.” Steve offered, not one to be out-done and Katie smirked to herself, “And by that I mean when it was me, or I was it, whatever. He may or may not have gotten extra candy.”

Sam and Bucky chuckled and Katie sipped her wine before she tilted her head back and looked up at Steve.

"At least we got no clowns this year..." Katie smirked and at the mere thought Steve shuddered and Bucky let out a huge snort.

"What...you're scared of clowns?" Sam looked at Steve but before he could answer Bucky jumped in.

"He ain’t just scared man, he's petrified. When we were about 8 and my folks took us to Coney, this guy dressed as a clown tried to give Steve a balloon and he ran away, but the best thing was…” Bucky leaned forward, his words coming between his howls of laughter “this clown kept doing it up until Steve was about 18 because he was so small and looked like a 10 year old.”

“Fuck you.” Steve narrowed his eyes at Bucky as he and Sam fell about laughing. Katie kissed his arm and sat up, pointing at Bucky.

“Stop making fun of him…he was cute when he was a smol bean.”

“Thanks sweetheart.” Steve grinned, pressing a kiss to her head. 

“Coulrophobia” Sam nodded sagely, “Quite common actually.”

“I’m not surprised.” Steve shook his head “They’re horrible. I mean, who on earth ever thought they were suitable as entertainment?”

"I dunno, it was kind of entertaining when Jamie dressed up as one.” Katie smiled and Steve physically shivered at the mere memory of that particular Halloween.

“Wait, what?” Bucky asked, looking at Katie and Steve groaned as he steeled himself once more to be the brunt of a joke.

“You seen IT?” Katie asked, “As in the newest one?”

Bucky nodded, grinning “A particular favourite of mine and Jen’s….although last time we watched it we kinda got distracted.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Katie snorted.

“Don’t wanna know,” she shook her head as Sam Hi-fived Bucky “but anyway, we had a Halloween party about 9 years ago at Tony’s. Emmy asked if she could be in charge of hers and Jamie’s outfits so we said yes. Little did we knows she’d had a little help from my dearest brother and just as we were about to set off…” she snorted and started to laugh “they come down the stairs and Jamie’s dressed in the BEST Pennywise outfit I’ve ever seen.”

Bucky’s face split into a huge grin as Katie continued to laugh, shaking her head. “So he’s toddling towards Steve and his face…” she stopped talking, as her laughter was now uncontrollable and she shook her head and Steve sighed.

“It’s not funny.”

“It is.” She stuttered, wiping her eyes. She took a deep breath “You stood there stock still, this look of utter horror on your face and I knew you were fighting the urge to turn and run…”

At that Bucky and Sam both burst out into laughter and Steve shook his head. “He was so upset when I wouldn’t pick him up.”

“You stopped the car at the top of the street because you couldn’t drive as you kept seeing him in the mirror…” Katie howled, tipping her head back in absolute, unadulterated laughter and Steve shook his head.

“You heard Sam, it’s a phobia…” he looked at her “I can’t help it, any more than you can about spiders.”

“Horrible eight legged bastards.” She shuddered as her laughter died down and she glanced up at him winking, as her voice dropped. “But you know the way to my heart…”

“Kiss you often, fuck you well, feed you snacks and kill the spiders.” he intoned, grinning as she chuckled “I know Doll, I know.”

**** Despite his best laid plans going to shit, Steve had to admit it was a nice evening as all 4 of them chatted and laughed but by the time Bucky and Sam left some 2 hours later, Katie had already gone up to bed about 15 minutes prior saying she was tired which meant Steve was now very doubtful he’d be fucking her well at all. Cursing Trick Or Treaters, counter surfing dogs, hungry babies and cheese eating, beer drinking friends he cleared the empty bottles off the coffee table and dumped them in the recycling before he let Stark out into the back yard so he could do his business. Steve stood watching him, the cold October air biting at his skin a little as he glanced up at the now clear sky, the rain having stopped roughly half an hour or so ago. He couldn’t believe it was November tomorrow. Another year almost done with. They were flying by, far too quickly for his liking. This year had marked 7 years since they’d reversed the snap and it still seemed like only yesterday since he’d walked away from it all and passed the shield to Sam, settling down into the domestic life he’d never dreamed in a million years he’d get. He was jerked from his thoughts when Stark walked back up to him, nudging his hand with his cold, wet nose and he smiled, petting the dog’s head as he walked past him into the little laundry room and sat obediently waiting for his paws to be dried. Steve shut the door, locking it and then towelled the dog down before the tan and white mutt shot off through the kitchen and into the hall. Steve heard his collar jangling as he bounded up the stairs to Jamie’s room whilst he himself made his way through to the lounge. The fire was still going, but he knew it would die down over night and he was just moving the grate to the front of it to avoid any embers spilling onto the floor when his ears picked up footsteps on the stairs. He instantly knew they were Katie’s and found himself smirking a little. Maybe he was gonna get a little frisky after all. And then he heard her walking across the hall and frowned, because it sounded like she was in heels.

“Honey?” he called, standing up straight and turning to see his wife leaning against the door frame, one arm extended above her head, the other hand falling to her hips as she looked at him, biting her lip. Steve felt his mouth drop open as he took in her appearance. She was indeed wearing heels, a pair of sparkly, high heeled red Jimmy Choos- her “Ruby Slippers” as Rori dubbed them, and his eyes scanned up her bare legs to the hem of the sheer, red negligee which finished mid-thigh. He could see the outline of a pair of matching, red lace panties underneath as he continued to take in her appearance. The top of the garment was low cut, her cleavage amplified somewhat as her breasts swelled over the lace cups and he swallowed as he felt his cock twitch whilst he simply stared at her, slack jawed. Fuck, she was the sexiest thing he had ever seen in his entire life and when she did stuff like this…Jesus.

He glanced at her face, her hair falling over her shoulders in waves and it was then he noticed that on the top of her head sat a pair of fake red horns. Steve’s mouth curled up in sinful grin as Katie gave a dirty giggle, her green eyes sparkling with mischief as Steve strode towards her purposefully, one thing on his mind.

“Read to sell your soul to the Devil, Solider?” she asked and Steve let out a chuckle as he stopped in front of her, his hands gripping her hips

“I sold it to you years ago, Doll.”

She grinned at him as he pulled her closer, his fingers curling against her gentle curves, tangling in the soft material of the negligee as he dropped his head to hers, kissing her deeply. Her hands smoothed over the top of his grey Henley coming to rest on his chest as he curled one arm around her waist, pulling her closer. At the feel of her pressed against him, Steve let out a soft moan

“God I’ve been waiting for this all night” he mumbled and Katie grinned against his lips.

“Well like I tell the kids, a little patience goes a long way Stevie.” she purred and Steve shrugged, his hands dropping to the back of her thighs as he easily lifted her, her heel-clad legs wrapping around his waist.

“And as you know when it comes to you baby girl, I have very little self-control.”

“Don’t I know it, there’s reason we have 4 biological kids.” she pondered for a moment and Steve laughed as her lips met his again and her hands raked into his hair, her nails biting gently against his scalp.

With steady strides, Steve carried her over to the spot in front of the fireplace where he gently set her on her feet and knelt in front of her. The light of the fire cast a bronze glow against her smooth skin and taking his time to simply enjoy the moment, his hands traced up the back of her calves to her thighs, his touch feather light as he reached up to her ass. He gave her flesh a squeeze before pulling her forward a little and her hands reached out to rest on his shoulders for support as he pushed his head under the bottom of the lace garment, nose skimming along the waistband of her panties. He peppered hot, open mouthed kisses across her soft skin, before he dropped his head lower and nudged his nose over her covered mound. She whimpered a little as he brushed her nub and her hips moved forward, seeking him out.

“Now who’s impatient?” He looked up at her and she glanced down, arching an eyebrow.

“It may have escaped your notice…” she took a deep breath “My self-control is also pretty non-existent around you too.”

“Well, I’m not one to keep a lady waiting” Steve smirked and in a swift movement he hooked an arm round her waist causing her to shriek a little before she laughed as he deposited her gently on the rug, caging her with his arms. He glanced down at her, brunette waves fanning out over the light grey and black of the soft tuft wool and leaned down, his nose nudging against hers.

“You know I love you, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” she frowned a little, as Steve brushed his lips over hers.

“Good, now remember that. Because I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

Katie barely had time to register what he said before he’d moved down her body, hands skating up the outside of her thighs where his fingers bunched in her panties. With a sharp tug he’d snapped the elastic and tossed them to one side, grabbing her ankles and moving her feet so they were planted on the floor, the heels she was wearing caused her pelvis to raise up off her floor slightly. Without another word he pushed her knees apart and his mouth was on her, and he wasn’t holding back.

Katie’s body jolted as she let out a soft sigh of his name which was laced with satisfaction as he set his mouth to work, devouring her with the enthusiasm of a man starved, which in all fairness he was. He was low key horny around her all the time and he’d been sporting a fucking semi pretty much since the first time they’d been interrupted that evening. Having her so close yet out of reach all night so to speak had driven him wild.

His tongue licked, and lapped, flicked and curled over and over and Katie’s groans and pants grew louder and louder as he worked her into a frenzy. She curled the fingers of one hand into his hair, the other gripping at the rug underneath her as she arched her back even more, pushing herself against his face as her head began to spin. The contrast of his short beard scratching at her sensitive skin to his soft tongue and mouth was sending her entire body into overdrive and Steve could tell. He gently grazed her bud with his teeth, inserting 2 fingers inside her, both actions causing her hips to violently buck, her nails dug further into his scalp and he gave a chuckle which vibrated against her clit causing her to groan loudly.

“Jesus Christ Steve…” she panted, looking down at him. He peeked up from between her legs, a cheeky glint in his eyes which shimmered in the light of the fire, full of a blaze of their own as he continued, his tongue flicking at her entrance, before he sucked on her bud and then she was gone. Her legs trembled as her hand pulled his hair, almost to the point it was painful as she gave a loud cry, her other hand reaching to his head as she used both to push him away from her sensitive sex. He moved his head back but his fingers stayed exactly where they were, curling against the soft sponge of her walls as she clamped down around them, giving a little groan as she did, her legs flopping down flat on the floor. With a smug sense of satisfaction at having undone her to the extent he had, Steve pushed himself up, wiping his wet face with the back of his forearm and crawled over her, cupping her cheeks, kissing her again, his tongue tangling against hers. Katie moaned wantonly into his mouth as she could taste her arousal as his mouth dominated hers before he pulled back, his thumb and forefinger gently gripping her chin making her eyes open and lock onto his.

“On your knees sweetheart.” His tone was low as he used his Captain’s voice to issue the instruction, telling her not to argue. Not that she would, as mouthy and stubborn as she was this was the one area of their relationship in which she was always willing to surrender to him completely. With a graceful movement she pulled her legs back towards her and turned her body, rising to her knees, palms planted on the floor.

Steve pushed the waistband of his sweats and boxers down before he moved his hands to her hips, pulling her back with a swift action, placing one palm on the base of her back. With the other he took his throbbing cock in his hand, gave himself a few quick strokes before he lined himself up. With a snap of his hips he buried himself in her heat, balls deep, jolting her forward. The rumble from his throat slipped out of his mouth at the relief of finally being inside her, drowning her cries out.

His pace was relentless from the outset, just as it had been when he’d worked her with his mouth and his hands gripped her waist tightly as he drove in and out of her over and over, in fast, deep movements, pulling her back onto him with each thrust he made. He watched her face as her head fell forward between her arms, her bottom lip clamped between her lip, eyes closed in pleasure, those dirty little noises she made joined the sound of skin slapping skin as he did just as he’d said he was going to do, and fucked her hard.

It was raw, animalistic even, and a far cry from the usual way Steve liked to love on her but hell, it felt just as good to Katie as anything he ever did and after a particularly deep drive she cried out, fisting her hands into the rug, as she felt him bend over her, his large frame crowding hers from behind.

“God you feel so good baby…” he groaned, his chest was pressed to her back, his mouth nipping at that spot on her neck as she felt the heat pooling in her belly again. In an almost automatic movement, her head rolled to the left, allowing him access to her neck where he nipped and sucked at her skin, her gasps growing louder as he continued to thrust. “So fuckin’ good…”

As he spoke, Steve reached up and wrapped one large hand around her neck, tipping her face round to his so he could kiss her. It was all Katie could do to kiss him back, allowing him to control the pace as she was completely gone, the sensations lancing through her body had left her totally pliant to his ministrations.

“Captain…” she panted softly against his mouth as Steve gave an almost pathetic whine at the sound of that name slipping from her throat as he continued to push into her, driving deep before he stilled, his hips flush to her ass. Katie gave a squeak as he rotated his hips, letting go of her neck and pushing himself back up as his hand slid down her body, between her legs drawing a long wail of delight from her mouth as he fondled her bud, “Shit…I’m…Steve I’m gonna...”

“Go on, come for me baby…” he hissed, his jaw clenched, the sweat beading on his brow as he rutted forward again, once more grinding against her “Give it to me, let go…”

With a last, loud, filthy lament she came, hard, her knees almost buckling, but Steve’s arm quickly looped around her waist holding her up as she blissed out completely, the entire world fading around her as she felt nothing but the familiar hot, warm pleasure as her abdomen contracted and relaxed as her walls spasmed around him over and over.

“Good girl.” he praised as he continued thrusting through, the heat in his own belly now beginning to spike even more, “Such a good girl for me.” Katie preened at his praise, relaxing slightly as he bent over and kissed her neck once more, picking up the pace slightly. And then, she pushed back suddenly catching Steve off guard, sending him sprawling onto his back. She went with him, his cock still stuffed inside her, her back sliding on his chest as he continued to fuck up into her, his knees bent, feet flat on the floor. Katie’s head fell back against his shoulder, her face tilting to kiss his as she lay on him, legs spread, feet planted either side of his hips. His hand crept over her stomach, dipping into her folds as his fingers and palm furiously toyed and played with her, brushing against his shaft as he rocked in and out of his wife.

“Steve…” she whined “I can’t…it’s too much…” “You got one more in you.” he all but growled, “I know you do. And I’m taking it, whether you want me to or not.”

True to his word he continued his unyielding assault on her senses and before long her breathing had risen and his name was slipping from Katie’s lips in that familiar staccato pant. She gave in, and this time the climax almost feeble but still just as pleasurable as she fluttered around him. At the feel of her round him, and the sound of the exhausted, sultry groan she let out into his hear Steve was done for, and with a final, violent buck upwards he came, biting down gently on her shoulder, muffling the noises of satisfaction and pleasure that rolled from the back of his throat.

The pair of them lay still, chests heaving  and Katie licked her lips, eyes closed as she waited for her body to gain some form of control over itself. After a little while, she felt Steve’s hands gently slid up her side to the outside of her arms, giving a gentle rub as he pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

“You ok?” he asked.

Katie hummed a little and grinned, tipping her face round to look at him “I’ll say…that was…”

“Yeah…” Steve nodded, the pair of them chuckling. “It was worth the wait.”

Katie’s head lolled back against his shoulder and she closed her eyes again. Not wanting to move just yet, the feeling of her lay over the top of him whilst he was still buried inside her was too nice, Steve wrapped his arms around her front as he shifted slightly so he could press a kiss to her lips. She wiggled her hips a little and he gave a low grunt at the sensation and he looked at her as she arched an eyebrow.

“You want more?” he asked, his voice low and she fixed him with a look that was half suggestive, half apprehension as to whether she could actually take anymore. Steve grinned and pressed his lips back to hers, the kiss deepening as he felt himself starting to grow hard inside her again, and just as he had pushed her up into a sitting position, backwards on his lap, the security system sounded and the front door clicked open.

Katie’s head turned back to look at him over her shoulder, both faces sporting expressions of utter horror as Emmy and Peter’s voices drifted up the hall.

“Shit…” Katie jumped up, glancing down at herself as Steve scrambled to his feet, tucking himself into his pants, hastily yanking at the crotch in an attempt to make them a little less snug, so to speak.

“Give me your shirt…” Katie hissed and he reached over, grabbing a fistful of it in his hand. Yanking it over his head he tossed it to her and she shoved it on over her skimpy little outfit, before she kicked off her heels, and she’d just smoothed her hair down when the door to the lounge opened. Emmy and Peter stopped dead. Peter hastily turned away as Emmy’s eyes roved over Steve’s shirtless form, then to Katie who was stood in his Henley which thankfully was big enough to cover her body down to the middle of her thighs, hiding the red lace garment underneath. Whilst they might have hidden their modesty for the most part, there was no hiding the fact both of their faces were flushed with exhaustion and sexual gratification…nor was there any disguising the fact Katie was stood with her legs crossed in a desperate attempt to stop Steve’s release from dribbling down her leg. And then just to make it even more obvious, Katie’s shredded red lace panties were dumped in the middle of the floor right by her discarded heels…

“Jesus Christ…” Emmy mumbled, backing out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Katie and Steve glanced at one another, and Katie burst out laughing at the look of utter horror on Steve’s face.

“Cheer up Steve…” she patted his chest “Could have been worse.”

“Seriously?”  he blinked “What could be worse than basically being caught in flagrante by our daughter and that boy?”

“Ok, first off, his name is Pete…and actually I can think of a few things.” Katie shrugged, bending down to pick up her shoes and her destroyed underwear “Had she come in like 2 minutes earlier she’d have caught us in a much more compromising position…or even worse than that, we could have walked in on her.”

“Doll, just don’t!” Steve held his hand up, giving a groan.

Katie laughed and made her way to the door. “I’m going upstairs to clean up and get in bed, can you bring me a bottle of water up please?”

Steve sighed and nodded, watching her go. Taking a deep breath he wandered into the kitchen were Emmy was stood scowling, leaning against the kitchen counter as she glared as his topless form, Pete hastily averting his eyes.

“You two are disgusting.” Emmy shook her head “It’s bad enough hearing you in your bedroom but…fucking hell Dad!”

“Watch your mouth Emily.” Steve said sternly as he felt the heat rising in his neck. He made his way to the fridge, pulling out two bottles of water before he straightened up. “We weren’t expecting you back so early.”

“Clearly.” Emmy arched an eyebrow.

“You know what?” Steve’s temper flared a little “This is mine and your Ma’s house, and well, frankly, we’ll do what we want, where we want.”

At that Peter gave a little cough and pushed himself up off the counter, “I’m gonna…yeah…” he said, pointing to the utility room door “I’ll be in the cabin Em.”

Neither Steve nor Emmy paid him any attention as he scuttled off, the door clicking shut behind him.

“Dad!” Emmy spluttered, her face in her hand as she shook her head “That was so embarrassing!”

“Well it wasn’t exactly a barrel of laughs for us either you know Em!” Steve groaned “Like, seriously, why did you even come in here anyway? You don’t need to come through the house to get to your annex!”

“We were hungry.” She whined, “Mom said she’d leave us something in the fridge although frankly, now I’ve lost my appetite.”

Steve wiped a hand over his face before he shook his head, taking a deep breath “I’m gonna go up to bed. Can we just forget this happened, please?”

“I’d love to.” Emmy practically growled as she made her way towards the rear of the kitchen. “God, I need to scrub my eyes with bleach…once you’ve finished using it to mop wherever you were…you know.”

Steve arched an eyebrow and that little devil on his shoulder reared his, or her as the case may be,  head and he couldn’t help the sarcastic response as it flew from his mouth “I hate to break it to you sweetheart, but I’d need a lot of bleach to wash down each surface of this house I’ve had your mother on.”

Emmy’s mouth fell open and she looked at him, before she let out a loud groan. “You’re disgusting. Like, I can’t even…”

She shook her head and hurried out of the room, closing the door behind her. Steve shook his head, watched as the security light clicked on whilst she stormed across the back garden to her little annex and with a chuckle he made sure the door was locked and turned off the lights.

All in all it had been a damned good day now he thought about it. He’d carved pumpkins with his kids, seen them all have a great time, eaten Italian, drunk beer, chatted to his friends, fucked his wife exceptionally well and now embarrassed his eldest.

“Mission accomplished…” he snorted to himself as he took the stairs two at a two, padding across the hallway and entering his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

[just-a-broadway-girl]

My Favorite Parts of the Perky’s Buds/Abstinence Camp Talkback

JAY DRESSING AS KUZCO FOR HALLOWEEN I CAN’T 

Joey fully willing to keep up the bird shtick for the entire talkback

Nick: “My dad’s calling.” Lauren: “PUT HIM ON”

“We gotta lotta Daddies this season.”

Mariah and Angela joining together 😭

Honestly Mariah and Angela just losing their shit together the entire time

“We hate that bird.”

CURT AND KIM IN THEIR COSTUMES OMG

“Batman directed this video??” “Yes.”

Everyone thinking Jon was a pilgrim

“Hello I’m Jon Matteson, I’m he/him, I played Boy Jerry, and I’m a little witch.”

Everyone yelling at Corey to get into the meeting

“I played Counselor number something and Camper number something else”

Everyone shut the fuck up Bryce is a Gryffindor

“Paul did you get my texts.”

MATT ALWAYS DOING THE SMOKE CLUB THING

No James I’m literally gonna cry

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE IS STILL ON BITCHES 🙌🙌🙌

“Boy Joey??” IM LOSING MY MIND

“Let’s put it in there, let’s make it canon!” NICK PLEASE

IM LIKE 90% SURE COREY AND NICK JUST MADE BILL CANONICALLY IN LOVE WITH TED PLSSSS

(Bill and Ted... motherfucker.)

“Well, you’re welcome.”

NOT JAE SLIDING INTO NICK’S DMS JESUS CHRIST

Seriously tho that story is so cute I’m gonna cry

Joey saying “Paul, there is a right answer” and then Paul literally saying “Ted” and Joey’s face afterward

“This is such a good day for me! Thank you!”

That Lumberaxe puppet is TERRIFYING

“So foul...” “Oh my god...” “Yeah, nasty...” “Hot.” 

“Lauren did you just say hot?” “He’s fucking hot.”

“Where did you get those teeth? Asking for a friend.”

“My favorite part about filming my three lines...” BRYCE LMAO IM DEAD

ANGELA BEING SO ADAMANT ABOUT CARPOOL IM CRYING

Corey and Bryce meeting for the first time ON THE MEETING😭

everyone doing the smoke club thing 😂

I’m pretty sure it’s now canon that Ziggs founded the Smoke Club

“To make me look thicc.” - Curt Mega, 2021

Everyone making fun of the contrast between Curt’s and Lauren’s music videos

“Was that the lens they used for Marriage Story?” “It was thank you so much for noticing that.”

“We actually got the cinematographer from Roma”

“Also, I had to do a headstand, and I am bad at that.” - Jon Matteson, 2021

Wait these all take place in the same reality what the fuck

Wait is that the answer it’s different realities????

Why is no one talking about this????

Mariah and Corey joking about playing Father-Daughter duos 😭🥺

NOT NICK MAKING THE “Have you always been that jacked???” JOKE

“Oh so the awesome stoner friendship wasn’t ENOUGH?!”

everyone absolutely going apeshit after Angela says she’s Italian

MARIAH AND ANGELA’S FACES AFTER SOMEONE ASKED IF GRACE AND STEPH ARE GONNA GET TOGETHER

Jeff sounding so offended when he said “I wouldn’t do that on WORK time!”

everyone fangirling over Jeff and his musical prowess

“He’s the SAX man.” (”This week’s ‘craft class’”)

all of them going “Aww...🥺🥰” while talking about Bill dating again

COREY REITERATING THAT BILL WANTS TO DATE TED OH MY GOD

new info on workin boys?? 👀

MAKE THE FANART THEY ASK FOR YOU COWARDS

Everyone plugging their favorite fan artists 🥺

“PROMO CODE MEAT-A-BALLS”

Alright who’s gonna make the Hatchetfield video game 😡

Oh they are just teasing Bryce’s big role in Killer Track and I’m LIVING for it

“Go get spooky everybody!” - Nick Lang, 2021

“Happy Hatchetween!”

“Nick can we talk about these recordings?” “NOT ON CAMERA, COREY”

Anyways stan Starkid and get your tickets for episodes 3 and 4

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Forever

One Shot: The Devil Wears Nada

Summary: Steve’s fed up of getting cock blocked during what was supposed to be bit of alone time and would make a deal with the Devil herself to get some alone time with his wife… Warning: SMUT SMUT SMUT- (NSFW, 18+) Like seriously, if you’re under 18 get off my blog. This is, possibly, the filthiest thing I’ve written for Steve to date!

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark.

A/N: So this follows on directly from Bumps In The Night which was written by @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ as part of Stark Spangled Banner’s Birthday Party. Give it a read, its wonderful!

If you are currently reading Stark Spangled Banner for the first time as it is being reposted then this contains MAJOR SPOILERS and I recommend you wait until you’ve finished so you don’t spoil anything!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Forever Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Katie and Steve headed back inside, Katie diverting into the lounge to go and retrieve the candy off the kids before they ate too much of it in one sitting. Steve had to snort at the various cries of protests that rang round the lounge and his wife’s stern voice telling the three children in there that she didn’t care if it was Saturday, they weren’t consuming enough E-numbers to fuel an army before bed. He made his way into the kitchen and was completely unsurprised to find Bucky already had his head buried in the fridge.

“Make yourself at home.” He deadpanned and Bucky looked at him, thrusting a beer in his direction. “Gee thanks.” Steve’s dry sarcasm still present as he looked at his friend who was offering him his own fucking beer. Bucky grinned and shrugged as he passed one to Sam as well as he strode into the room, the three men popping the tops. Steve took a long pull from his as he eyed Bucky “Why are you here?”

“Rude much?” Bucky asked, his eyes still checking out the contents of the refrigerator. “We were concerned uncles…you weren’t with the kids.”

“They were with Emmy and Queens” Steve arched an eyebrow “Perfectly safe.”

“They showed up on Tin Man’s doorstep.” Sam grinned “We were halfway through studying a couple of files and they basically swamped us and said it was their last stop of the night. Bucky thought it would be fun to come back with them.”

“To bug the crap out of me or…”

“I wanted candy.” Buck shrugged.

“Then you should have gone Trick Or Treating.” Steve replied “And let’s face it, with a face like that, who needs a mask?”

“Ouch, Stevie…” Bucky looked at him as Sam chuckled in the background, before he turned his attention back to the fridge “Oooh, your Missus made a cheeseboard.”

“What are you a fuckin’ mouse?” Sam asked as Bucky pulled out the platter, setting it on the side.

“Just ‘cause I appreciate the good things in life, Seagull and you can’t.” Bucky shrugged, unwrapping the film from the cheese. “You know, Steve was just like this growing up.”

“Yeah, well, now I have better taste and I’m also big enough to kick your ass so stop eating my food and go home before I throw you out.”

“What’s got into you?” Bucky looked at him.

“You’re disrupting my plans.” Steve said simply.

“What pl-ooooooh!” Buck’s question morphed into a noise of acknowledgment as he looked at his friend “Then you should have taken advantage of the empty house earlier.”

“School boy error, Cap.” Sam smirked and Steve let out a growl of frustration.

“Well our various attempts to were thwarted one way or another, and now you two punks are ruining it again.” Steve glared at them “Put the cheese back and piss off.”

Bucky smirked. “Imma tell Katie you’re being nasty to me.”

Steve narrowed his eyes knowing full well the soft spot his girl had for Bucky and Sam. If she got so much as a sniff he was being a bit of a shit to either of them he’d be in for it. “You wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn’t what?”

At the sound of his wife’s voice Steve jumped and turned to see her clutching the huge bowl that had previously contained their candy by the door and now sported the combined content of their kids’ bags, Harry toddling behind her, his eyes fixed on the prize.

“Oh this is gonna be good.” Sam smirked, leaning off to the side unwrapping a Reeses which he pulled out of his pocket, slowly chewing as if watching a movie.

“Hey Doll Face” Bucky grinned at her “Steve won’t let me eat the cheese.”

“Ignore him, you help yourself Buck.” She waved to it as she passed Steve the bowl of candy “Stop being so moody, stick that up high somewhere.”

“You know that won’t stop Jamie, Rori or him don’t you?” Steve looked at her as she picked Harry up who watched shrewdly as his dad placed the bowl on the top shelf of one of the cupboards “All 3 of them had scaled the refrigerator by the time they were 2.”

“No but it might delay them enough for us to catch them.” She shrugged, her eyes moving to Bucky who was eating a block of cheddar like it was an apple “Buck, do you want some crackers or…”

Bucky nodded but Steve cut him off. “No he doesn’t.”

“Yes I do.” Bucky smirked as Katie looked at Steve, arching an eyebrow at his unusually frosty nature towards his friends. She set Harry down on the counter by Bucky who grinned at the toddler, offering him his hand in a hi-five. Harry grinned and slapped his Uncles palm before he looked at the cheese.

“Absolutely not pal.” Steve said to him and Harry looked up.

“Dinosaurs don’t eat cheese.” Bucky shook his head at Harry who stared at him and blinked before he shrugged.

“But I hungry.”

“You can’t possibly be.” Katie looked at her son

“I am, Momma.”

“Now look what you’ve done.” Steve glared at Bucky.

“Me?” Bucky scoffed, his mouth full “What did I do?”

“Set him off, look, why don’t you go and eat Jen’s cheese?” Steve asked and at that there was a pause before Sam, Katie and Bucky all burst out laughing. Steve groaned “Ok, that came out wrong.”

Sam snorted “that’s what she said.”

Katie laughed harder and Bucky grinned, swallowing his mouthful as Katie headed into the pantry. “Innuendo aside, I can’t. She’s got something going on at the coffee shop. Bunch of teenagers doing Halloween activities or something, I don’t know. She won’t be free until later.” He turned to Katie as she walked back in, handing him the box of crackers and he thanked her “So I thought I’d come see my best friends for a beer seeing as it’s not even half 8 on a Saturday yet.”

Katie smiled at him “You two are always welcome here, you know that. Isn’t that right Steve.”

Steve fixed a smile on his face and glared at Bucky who was positively beaming at the fact he knew he was being a cock-block. “Course it is honey, course.”

“Right my little Jurassic baby!” Katie picked Harry up and he giggled, the hood of his dinosaur costume falling over his eyes. “Bath time.

“No bath, Momma.” Harry shook his head furiously, looking up at her as she pushed the clothing back off his head.“I have one tomorrow.”

Katie looked at him, “Your face is filthy.”

“Wash my face then.” He looked at her and Katie raised her eyebrows and looked at Steve who chuckled.

“Wanna help me out here, Daddy?” Katie asked and Steve looked at his son.

“Hey, Buddy, how about Momma washes your face tonight but you’re having a bath first thing in the morning.” Steve looked at Harry as his son considered it for a second. It was late after all. Skipping bath night one evening wouldn’t kill him.

“Deal” Harry nodded, holding his hand out. Steve shook it as Bucky and Sam both gave snorts.

“You need a hand?” Steve asked.

“No, I got it.” Katie shook her head “I’ll get him sorted. You can send Rori and Jamie up in fifteen though.”

“Sure.” Steve nodded.

“Say goodnight Harry.” Katie said, turning round so Harry could see Sam and Bucky.

“Goodnight Harry.” He grinned, before he cackled at his usual joke. The tot had no idea why it was funny, but when he had first said it, it had cracked both Katie and Steve up so now he seemed to say it every night. Bucky and Sam obligingly laughed as Steve dropped kiss to his son’s head, before pecking Katie’s cheek as she carried him out of the kitchen.

**** Half an hour later, after Rori had done one final parade around the kitchen in her princess cat outfit, beaming when Bucky had declared her the “prettiest kitty cat in all the world” and Steve had once more told her “no, you can’t have a real cat”, all the kids were clean and in their rooms. Harry and Rori were both tucked up in bed, lights off, whilst Jamie was watching TV with a warning from Steve that he had thirty minutes before it was time to turn it off. Steve knew Jamie would listen, it was part of the deal that he got to have a little time like that in his room as he was the eldest one now. Jamie took it seriously, knowing full well that abusing said privilege would mean it was revoked just as it had been a few weeks months when he’d been giving Steve some serious back chat and cheek. Steve had sent him to his room and Jamie had simply shrugged responding sarcastically “Fine, I’ll go watch my TV, what a huge punishment.” 

Steve had seen red and headed straight into the garage before coming back with a pair of pliers. He’d walked straight into Jamie’s room, cut the plug off the TV leaving his son staring at him, open mouthed as he breezed out of the room with a simple “watch it now, smart ass…”

The four adults were all sat in the lounge, sprawled across the various sofas with a drink each as the fire roared giving the large living room a cosy, homely feel. Stark was stretched out on the rug in front of the fire, snoring slightly, and the stereo was on playing a little background music whilst the rain pattered against the large ceiling to floor windows. Steve adored this time of year for precisely this reason. Katie snuggled under his arm, her back resting against him as she lay stretched out down the cushions, his arm looped around her crossing her chest. The hand that wasn’t holding her wine was gently rubbing over his forearm, her nails softly skating across the skin. Steve dropped a kiss to her head as they both listened to Sam who was recalling how Bucky had ended up with a load of candy stuck on the hand of his metal arm without realising, which he had then stuck in his hair when he’d run his hand through it.

“He cried like a bitch when I was pulling the gummy bears out.” Sam grinned and Steve tipped his head back, a huge laugh rumbling through his chest as Bucky glared at him.

“Punk.” He looked at Steve who simply smirked and took a drink from his bottle

“You know, I gotta say that these kids take it to the next level nowadays.” Sam swallowed a mouthful of beer. “I mean, some of those costumes are awesome. We saw a really cool Iron Man who had the reactor in his chest all lit up.”

Katie smiled “Yeah, Tony does seem to be a popular choice.”

“We got a Captain America.” Steve offered, not one to be out-done and Katie smirked to herself, “And by that I mean when it was me, or I was it, whatever. He may or may not have gotten extra candy.”

Sam and Bucky chuckled and Katie sipped her wine before she tilted her head back and looked up at Steve.

"At least we got no clowns this year..." Katie smirked and at the mere thought Steve shuddered and Bucky let out a huge snort.

"What...you're scared of clowns?" Sam looked at Steve but before he could answer Bucky jumped in.

"He ain’t just scared man, he's petrified. When we were about 8 and my folks took us to Coney, this guy dressed as a clown tried to give Steve a balloon and he ran away, but the best thing was…” Bucky leaned forward, his words coming between his howls of laughter “this clown kept doing it up until Steve was about 18 because he was so small and looked like a 10 year old.”

“Fuck you.” Steve narrowed his eyes at Bucky as he and Sam fell about laughing. Katie kissed his arm and sat up, pointing at Bucky.

“Stop making fun of him…he was cute when he was a smol bean.”

“Thanks baby.” Steve grinned, pressing a kiss to her head. 

“Coulrophobia” Sam nodded sagely, “Quite common actually.”

“I’m not surprised.” Steve shook his head “They’re horrible. I mean, who on earth ever thought they were suitable as entertainment?”

"I dunno, it was kind of entertaining when Jamie dressed up as one.” Katie smiled and Steve physically shivered at the mere memory of that particular Halloween 

“Wait, what?” Bucky asked, looking at Katie and Steve groaned as he steeled himself once more to be the brunt of a joke.

“You seen IT?” Katie asked, “As in the newest one?”

Bucky nodded, grinning “A particular favourite of mine and Jen’s….although last time we watched it we kinda got distracted.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Katie snorted.

“Don’t wanna know,” she shook her head as Sam Hi-fived Bucky “but anyway, we had a Halloween party about 9 years ago at Tony’s. Emmy asked if she could be in charge of hers and Jamie’s outfits so we said yes. Little did we knows she’d had a little help from my dearest brother and just as we were about to set off…” she snorted and started to laugh “they come down the stairs and Jamie’s dressed in the BEST Pennywise outfit I’ve ever seen.”

Bucky’s face split into a huge grin as Katie continued to laugh, shaking her head.

“So he’s toddling towards Steve and his face…” she stopped talking, as her laughter was now uncontrollable and she shook her head and Steve sighed.

“It’s not funny.”

“It is.” She stuttered, wiping her eyes. She took a deep breath “You stood there stock still, this look of utter horror on your face and I knew you were fighting the urge to turn and run…”

At that Bucky and Sam both burst out into laughter and Steve shook his head. “He was so upset when I wouldn’t pick him up.”

“You stopped the car at the top of the street because you couldn’t drive as you kept seeing him in the mirror…” Katie howled, tipping her head back in absolute, unadulterated laughter and Steve shook his head.

“It’s a phobia…” he looked at her “I can’t help it, any more than you can about spiders.”

“Horrible eight legged bastards.” She shuddered as her laughter died down. “But you know the way to my heart…”

“Kiss you often, fuck you well, feed you snacks and kill the spiders.” he recited, grinning as she chuckled “I know Doll, I know.”

**** Despite his best laid plans going to shit, Steve had to admit it was a nice evening as all four of them chatted and laughed but by the time Bucky and Sam left some two hours later, Katie had already gone up to bed about 15 minutes prior saying she was tired which meant Steve was now very doubtful he’d be fucking her well at all. Cursing Trick Or Treaters, counter surfing dogs, hungry babies and cheese eating, beer drinking friends he cleared the empty bottles off the coffee table and dumped them in the recycling before he let Stark out into the back yard so he could do his business. Steve stood watching him, the cold October air biting at his skin a little as he glanced up at the now clear sky, the rain having stopped roughly half an hour or so ago. He couldn’t believe it was November tomorrow. Another year almost done with. They were flying by, far too quickly for his liking. 

This year had marked seven years since they’d reversed the snap and it still seemed like only yesterday since he’d walked away from it all and passed the shield to Sam, settling down into the domestic life he’d never dreamed in a million years he’d get. He was jerked from his thoughts when Stark walked back up to him, nudging his hand with his cold, wet nose and he smiled, petting the dog’s head as he walked past him into the little laundry room and sat obediently waiting for his paws to be dried. Steve shut the door, locking it and then towelled the dog down before the tan and white mutt shot off through the kitchen and into the hall. Steve heard his collar jangling as he bounded up the stairs to Jamie’s room whilst he himself made his way through to the lounge. The fire was still going, but he knew it would die down over night and he was just moving the grate to the front of it to avoid any embers spilling onto the floor when his ears picked up footsteps on the stairs. He instantly knew they were Katie’s and found himself smirking a little. Maybe he was gonna get a little frisky after all. And then he heard her walking across the hall and frowned, because it sounded like she was in heels.

“Honey?” he called, standing up straight and turning to see his wife leaning against the door frame, one arm extended above her head, the other hand falling to her hips as she looked at him, biting her lip. Steve felt his mouth drop open as he took in her appearance. She was indeed wearing heels, a pair of sparkly, high heeled red Jimmy Choos- her “Ruby Slippers” as Rori dubbed them, and his eyes scanned up her bare legs to the hem of the sheer, red negligee which finished mid-thigh. He could see the outline of a pair of matching, red lace panties underneath as he continued to take in her appearance. The top of the garment was low cut, her cleavage amplified somewhat as her breasts swelled over the lace cups and he swallowed as he felt his cock twitch whilst he simply stared at her, slack jawed. Fuck, she was the sexiest thing he had ever seen in his entire life and when she did stuff like this…Jesus.

He glanced at her face, her hair falling over her shoulders in waves and it was then he noticed that on the top of her head sat a pair of fake red horns. Steve’s mouth curled up in sinful grin as Katie gave a dirty giggle, her green eyes sparkling with mischief as Steve strode towards her purposefully, one thing on his mind.

“Read to sell your soul to the Devil, Solider?” she asked and Steve let out a chuckle as he stopped in front of her, his hands gripping her hips

“I sold it to you years ago, Doll.”

She grinned at him as he pulled her closer, his fingers curling against her gentle curves, tangling in the soft material of the negligee as he dropped his head to hers, kissing her deeply. Her hands smoothed over the top of his grey Henley coming to rest on his chest as he curled one arm around her waist, pulling her closer. At the feel of her pressed against him, Steve let out a soft moan

“God I’ve been waiting for this all night” he mumbled and Katie grinned against his lips.

“Well like I tell the kids, a little patience goes a long way Stevie.” she purred and Steve shrugged, his hands dropping to the back of her thighs as he easily lifted her, her heel-clad legs wrapping around his waist.

“And as you know when it comes to you baby girl, I have very little self-control.”

“Don’t I know it, there’s reason we have 4 biological kids.” she pondered for a moment and Steve laughed as her lips met his again and her hands raked into his hair, her nails biting gently against his scalp.

With steady strides, Steve carried her over to the spot in front of the fireplace where he gently set her on her feet and knelt in front of her. The light of the fire cast a bronze glow against her smooth skin and taking his time to simply enjoy the moment, his hands traced up the back of her calves to her thighs, his touch feather light as he reached up to her ass. He gave her flesh a squeeze before pulling her forward a little and her hands reached out to rest on his shoulders for support as he pushed his head under the bottom of the lace garment, nose skimming along the waistband of her panties. He peppered hot, open mouthed kisses across her soft skin, before he dropped his head lower and nudged his nose over her covered mound. She whimpered a little as he brushed her nub and her hips moved forward, seeking him out.

“Now who’s impatient?” He looked up at her and she glanced down, arching an eyebrow.

“It may have escaped your notice…” she took a deep breath “My self-control is also pretty non-existent around you too.”

“Well, I’m not one to keep a lady waiting” Steve smirked and in a swift movement he hooked an arm round her waist causing her to shriek a little before she laughed as he deposited her gently on the rug, caging her with his arms. He glanced down at her, brunette waves fanning out over the light grey and black of the soft tuft wool and leaned down, his nose nudging against hers.

“You know I love you, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” she frowned a little, as Steve brushed his lips over hers.

“Good, now remember that. Because I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

Katie barely had time to register what he said before he’d moved down her body, hands skating up the outside of her thighs where his fingers bunched in her panties. With a sharp tug he’d snapped the elastic and tossed them to one side, grabbing her ankles and moving her feet so they were planted on the floor, the heels she was wearing caused her pelvis to raise up off her floor slightly. Without another word he pushed her knees apart and his mouth was on her, and he wasn’t holding back.

Katie’s body jolted as she let out a soft sigh of his name which was laced with satisfaction as he set his mouth to work, devouring her with the enthusiasm of a man starved, which in all fairness he was. He was low key horny around her all the time and he’d been sporting a fucking semi pretty much since the first time they’d been interrupted that evening. Having her so close yet out of reach all night so to speak had driven him wild.

His tongue licked, and lapped, flicked and curled over and over and Katie’s groans and pants grew louder and louder as he worked her into a frenzy. She curled the fingers of one hand into his hair, the other gripping at the rug underneath her as she arched her back even more, pushing herself against his face as her head began to spin. The contrast of his short beard scratching at her sensitive skin to his soft tongue and mouth was sending her entire body into overdrive and Steve could tell. He gently grazed her bud with his teeth, inserting 2 fingers inside her, both actions causing her hips to violently buck, her nails dug further into his scalp and he gave a chuckle which vibrated against her clit causing her to groan loudly.

“Jesus Christ Steve…” she panted, looking down at him. He peeked up from between her legs, a cheeky glint in his eyes which shimmered in the light of the fire, full of a blaze of their own as he continued, his tongue flicking at her entrance, before he sucked on her bud and then she was gone. Her legs trembled as her hand pulled his hair, almost to the point it was painful as she gave a loud cry, her other hand reaching to his head as she used both to push him away from her sensitive sex. He moved his head back but his fingers stayed exactly where they were, curling against the soft sponge of her walls as she clamped down around them, giving a little groan as she did, her legs flopping down flat on the floor. With a smug sense of satisfaction at having undone her to the extent he had, Steve pushed himself up, wiping his wet face with the back of his forearm and crawled over her, cupping her cheeks, kissing her again, his tongue tangling against hers. Katie moaned wantonly into his mouth as she could taste her arousal as his mouth dominated hers before he pulled back, his thumb and forefinger gently gripping her chin making her eyes open and lock onto his.

“On your knees sweetheart.” His tone was low as he used his Captain’s voice to issue the instruction, telling her not to argue. Not that she would, as mouthy and stubborn as she was this was the one area of their relationship in which she was always willing to surrender to him completely. With a graceful movement she pulled her legs back towards her and turned her body, rising to her knees, palms planted on the floor.

Steve pushed the waistband of his sweats and boxers down before he moved his hands to her hips, pulling her back with a swift action, placing one palm on the base of her back. With the other he took his throbbing cock in his hand, gave himself a few quick strokes before he lined himself up. With a snap of his hips he buried himself in her heat, balls deep, jolting her forward. The rumble from his throat slipped out of his mouth at the relief of finally being inside her, drowning her cries out.

His pace was relentless from the outset, just as it had been when he’d worked her with his mouth and his hands gripped her waist tightly as he drove in and out of her over and over, in fast, deep movements, pulling her back onto him with each thrust he made. He watched her face as her head fell forward between her arms, her bottom lip clamped between her lip, eyes closed in pleasure, those dirty little noises she made joined the sound of skin slapping skin as he did just as he’d said he was going to do, and fucked her hard.

It was raw, animalistic even, and a far cry from the usual way Steve liked to love on her but hell, it felt just as good to Katie as anything he ever did and after a particularly deep drive she cried out, fisting her hands into the rug, as she felt him bend over her, his large frame crowding hers from behind.

“God you feel so good baby…” he groaned, his chest was pressed to her back, his mouth nipping at that spot on her neck as she felt the heat pooling in her belly again. In an almost automatic movement, her head rolled to the left, allowing him access to her neck where he nipped and sucked at her skin, her gasps growing louder as he continued to thrust. “So fuckin’ good…”

As he spoke, Steve reached up and wrapped one large hand around her neck, tipping her face round to his so he could kiss her. It was all Katie could do to kiss him back, allowing him to control the pace as she was completely gone, the sensations lancing through her body had left her totally pliant to his ministrations.

“Captain…” she panted softly against his mouth as Steve gave an almost pathetic whine at the sound of that name slipping from her throat as he continued to push into her, driving deep before he stilled, his hips flush to her ass. Katie gave a squeak as he rotated his hips, letting go of her neck and pushing himself back up as his hand slid down her body, between her legs drawing a long wail of delight from her mouth as he fondled her bud, “Shit…I’m…Steve I’m gonna...”

“Go on, come for me baby…” he hissed, his jaw clenched, the sweat beading on his brow as he rutted forward again, once more grinding against her “Give it to me, let go…”

With a last, loud, filthy lament she came, hard, her knees almost buckling, but Steve’s arm quickly looped around her waist holding her up as she blissed out completely, the entire world fading around her as she felt nothing but the familiar hot, warm pleasure as her abdomen contracted and relaxed as her walls spasmed around him over and over.

“Good girl.” he praised as he continued thrusting through, the heat in his own belly now beginning to spike even more, “Such a good girl for me.” Katie preened at his praise, relaxing slightly as he bent over and kissed her neck once more, picking up the pace slightly. And then, she pushed back suddenly catching Steve off guard, sending him sprawling onto his back. She went with him, his cock still stuffed inside her, her back sliding on his chest as he continued to fuck up into her, his knees bent, feet flat on the floor. Katie’s head fell back against his shoulder, her face tilting to kiss his as she lay on him, legs spread, feet planted either side of his hips. His hand crept over her stomach, dipping into her folds as his fingers and palm furiously toyed and played with her, brushing against his shaft as he rocked in and out of his wife.

“Steve…” she whined “I can’t…it’s too much…” “You got one more in you…” he all but growled, “I know you do. And I’m taking it, whether you want me to or not.”

True to his word he continued his unyielding assault on her senses and before long her breathing had risen and his name was slipping from Katie’s lips in that familiar staccato pant. She gave in, and this time the climax almost feeble but still just as pleasurable as she fluttered around him. At the feel of her round him, and the sound of the exhausted, sultry groan she let out into his hear Steve was done for, and with a final, violent buck upwards he came, biting down gently on her shoulder, muffling the noises of satisfaction and pleasure that rolled from the back of his throat.

The pair of them lay still, chests heaving  and Katie licked her lips, eyes closed as she waited for her body to gain some form of control over itself. After a little while, she felt Steve’s hands gently slid up her side to the outside of her arms, giving a gentle rub as he pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

“You ok?” he asked.

Katie hummed a little and grinned, tipping her face round to look at him “I’ll say…that was…”

“Yeah…” Steve nodded, the pair of them chuckling. “It was worth the wait.”

Katie’s head lolled back against his shoulder and she closed her eyes again. Not wanting to move just yet, the feeling of her lay over the top of him whilst he was still buried inside her was too nice, Steve wrapped his arms around her front as he shifted slightly so he could press a kiss to her lips. She wiggled her hips a little and he gave a low grunt at the sensation and he looked at her as she arched an eyebrow.

“You want more?” he asked, his voice low and she fixed him with a look that was half suggestive, half apprehension as to whether she could actually take anymore. Steve grinned and pressed his lips back to hers, the kiss deepening as he felt himself starting to grow hard inside her again, and just as he had pushed her up into a sitting position, backwards on his lap, the security system sounded and the front door clicked open.

Katie’s head turned back to look at him over her shoulder, both faces sporting expressions of utter horror as Emmy and Peter’s voices drifted up the hall.

“Shit…” Katie jumped up, glancing down at herself as Steve scrambled to his feet, tucking himself into his pants, hastily yanking at the crotch in an attempt to make them a little less snug, so to speak.

“Give me your shirt…” Katie hissed and he reached over, grabbing a fistful of it in his hand. Yanking it over his head he tossed it to her and she shoved it on over her skimpy little outfit, before she kicked off her heels, and she’d just smoothed her hair down when the door to the lounge opened. Emmy and Peter stopped dead. Peter hastily turned away as Emmy’s eyes roved over Steve’s shirtless form, then to Katie who was stood in his Henley which thankfully was big enough to cover her body down to the middle of her thighs, hiding the red lace garment underneath. Whilst they might have hidden their modesty for the most part, there was no hiding the fact both of their faces were flushed with exhaustion and sexual gratification…nor was there any disguising the fact Katie was stood with her legs crossed in a desperate attempt to stop Steve’s release from dribbling down her leg. And then just to make it even more obvious, Katie’s shredded red lace panties were dumped in the middle of the floor right by her discarded heels…

“Jesus Christ…” Emmy mumbled, backing out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Katie and Steve glanced at one another, and Katie burst out laughing at the look of utter horror on Steve’s face.

“Cheer up Steve…” she patted his chest “Could have been worse.”

“Seriously?”  he blinked “What could be worse than basically being caught in flagrante by our daughter and that boy?”

“Ok, first off, his name is Pete…and actually I can think of a few things.” Katie shrugged, bending down to pick up her shoes and her destroyed underwear “Had she come in like 2 minutes earlier she’d have caught us in a much more compromising position…or even worse than that, we could have walked in on her.”

“Doll, just don’t!” Steve held his hand up, giving a groan.

Katie laughed and made her way to the door. “I’m going upstairs to clean up and get in bed, can you bring me a bottle of water up please?”

Steve sighed and nodded, watching her go. Taking a deep breath he wandered into the kitchen were Emmy was stood scowling, leaning against the kitchen counter as she glared as his topless form, Pete hastily averting his eyes.

“You two are disgusting.” Emmy shook her head “It’s bad enough hearing you in your bedroom but…fucking hell Dad!”

“Watch your mouth Emily.” Steve said sternly as he felt the heat rising in his neck. He made his way to the fridge, pulling out two bottles of water before he straightened up. “We weren’t expecting you back so early.”

“Clearly.” Emmy arched an eyebrow.

“You know what?” Steve’s temper flared a little “This is mine and your Ma’s house, and well, frankly, we’ll do what we want, where we want.”

At that Peter gave a little cough and pushed himself up off the counter, “I’m gonna…yeah…” he said, pointing to the utility room door “I’ll be in the cabin Em.”

Neither Steve nor Emmy paid him any attention as he scuttled off, the door clicking shut behind him.

“Dad!” Emmy spluttered, her face in her hand as she shook her head “That was so embarrassing!”

“Well it wasn’t exactly a barrel of laughs for us either you know Em!” Steve groaned “Like, seriously, why did you even come in here anyway? You don’t need to come through the house to get to your annex!”

“We were hungry.” She whined, “Mom said she’d leave us something in the fridge although frankly, now I’ve lost my appetite.”

Steve wiped a hand over his face before he shook his head, taking a deep breath “I’m gonna go up to bed. Can we just forget this happened, please?”

“I’d love to.” Emmy practically growled as she made her way towards the rear of the kitchen. “God, I need to scrub my eyes with bleach…once you’ve finished using it to mop wherever you were…you know.”

Steve arched an eyebrow and that little devil on his shoulder reared his, or her as the case may be,  head and he couldn’t help the sarcastic response as it flew from his mouth “I hate to break it to you sweetheart, but I’d need a lot of bleach to wash down each surface of this house I’ve had your mother on.”

Emmy’s mouth fell open and she looked at him, before she let out a loud groan. “You’re disgusting. Like, I can’t even…”

She shook her head and hurried out of the room, closing the door behind her. Steve shook his head, watched as the security light clicked on whilst she stormed across the back garden to her little annex and with a chuckle he made sure the door was locked and turned off the lights.

All in all it had been a damned good day now he thought about it. He’d carved pumpkins with his kids, seen them all have a great time, eaten Italian, drunk beer, chatted to his friends, fucked his wife exceptionally well and now embarrassed his eldest.

“Mission accomplished…” he snorted to himself as he took the stairs two at a two, padding across the hallway and entering his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

[jngles]

Thoughts You Definitely All Asked For on ‘The Mandalorian’ Season 2 Finale!!

These are in chronological order for the show.

One of my biggest fears about them reintroducing Boba Fett was that by removing some of his mystery, they would make him less cool. Thank god that has not been the case. He’s still an aloof and nasty piece of work but with dimensions added.

We all know the Empire is most often a metaphor for America right? At least when it’s not being Nazi Germany? The Imperial pilot talking about destroying an entire planet (of peaceful weaponless civilians no less) to stop terrorism hits a little too close to home of the nuclear bombs the US has dropped and the endless destruction of the Middle East in the “war against terror.” And of course we frame all our wars in similar language like “our troops died to keep our country safe,” which hasn’t really been true since WWII.

I do think it’s worth noting that this is the first time SW has had someone acknowledge the human losses of the Death Star blasts. Usually it’s framed as a loss in construction time, strategical advantage, and power. The Empire proved time and time again that the lives of its soldiers were utterly expendable, which always made me question why people remained loyal outside of fear. Through this pilot’s phrasing, you can see the propaganda Imperial superiors used to twist the truth to their followers, always blaming those deaths on Rebel aggression instead of prideful Imperial neglect (I.e. not abandoning ship when there was still time) or even direct Imperial aggression like Operation Cinder where they fired on thousands of their own (discussed in S2E7.)

You can’t tell me Din wasn’t into it when Cara shot that asshole pilot. That cold faced revenge shot? 100% Mandalorian style, and also very very hot.

I appreciate that it was a pretty equal match between Boba and Koska Reeves. So much of Boba’s advantage comes from his suit, but since she also has one, it’s a battle of wits on how to use it, and they even out. This both maintains his legendary badassery and also that of highly trained Mandalorian warriors, and hopefully avoids asshole chauvinist SW fans on the internet complaining abujt “pandering to feminism” (fuck off @ all of them, especially since Mercedes Vernado who plays Reeves is a WWE champ and could kick all of your asses.)

Din point blank asked how many Death Troopers there are and Dr. Pershing never answered, and that annoys me.

Why is no one suspicious why Dr. Pershing is being so helpful and revealing so much information? He totally did not have to tell them about the Dark Troopers or any of the specifics of locations on the ship. He’s still with the empire post-fall, implying he’s a loyalist, so... wtf on his part (since no tricks come of it), and “be smarter” on the part of everyone else. Unless he’s been captive as a clone engineer all this time. But couldn’t he have made his escape back in Season 1 when Din killed everyone at that lab to get the kid back?

Bo Katan really could’ve just told them how the retrieval of the dark saber needs to work in the flight before the mission instead of being vague about “he belongs to me.”

Boba Fett’s usage of “Princess” and “don’t worry about me” are a good throwback to Han Solo and the culture they both grew up in. You can never quite tell if it’s based in misogyny or resentment for upper classes, but both of them seem to use it as a shield for begrudging respect they hold for a woman they think is brave but following a fool’s errand (the Rebellion and retaking Mandalore).

The Comms Officer (Katy O’Brian) assisting Moff Gideon will forever and always look like Ilana Glazer to me, and then I get swept up imagining what would happen if the Broad City cast accidentally got transported to Star Wars.

The launch tube sequence has some amazing cinematography.

The second I saw Boba was cut off from the pack, I really thought they were going to kill him again and make his return bittersweet. Glad they didn’t.

God this team of Bo Katan, Koska Reeves, Fennec Shand, and Cara Dune is SO BADASS. I’m just obsessed with all these characters and their various motivations to get shit done. I honestly didn’t even think about the fact it’s all women until my re-watch, showing that the writers made it feel natural, the way women deserve to have their representation done. You can bet I am SO EXCITED for my future daughter and the wealth of possibilities she’s going to have of characters to play pretend as, action figures she can relate to, Halloween costumes to wear, etc. It’s so validating that we’ve gone from only Princess Leia as a female main character to all these women + Rey, Jyn Erso, Ahsoka, etc. etc.

Can’t wait for the trap remix of the Dark Trooper activation noises. (And the transition from that to the minimalist flute theme is perfect.)

The spy movie version of the main theme music is sick.

The Dark Trooper droid faces have a lot of similarity to Darth Vader’s mask. That callback is especially apparent when the one is literally lit from the inside with fire. He was already a martyr/legend to the Imperial remnants, Kylo Ren didn’t start the trend of ignoring his redemption.

Cara’s “excuse me” right before shooting up Stormtroopers is hilarious. Literally “can’t talk rn, doing hot girl shit and murdering space Nazis.”

Finally an Imperial ship got some frickin security cameras. Truly- the amount of times people just wander down hallways they’re not supposed to be in with no one being able to find them throughout the course of Star Wars is ridiculous when you think about the degree of surveillance our real life society carries out. I also love that this means The Mandalorian characters have also seen The Mandalorian.

The storytelling does such a service to Pedro Pascal and his already heroic efforts to portray emotion through a helmet. For example: Din easily could’ve killed the one stormtrooper outside Grogu’s cell much more efficiently, but instead, to show his absolute rage, they wrote in Din choking him out with a spear.

Moff Gideon would have been the BIGGEST pain in the ass in philosophy class. “Assume I know everything” my ass. I want to hear about his backstory (he would’ve been “coming of age” at the time of the Clone Wars) mostly just to hear about him getting bullied at school.

Smart move honestly, to try to tempt Din with the Mandalorian throne, given the Mandalorian power struggles of the past. Proud of our boy for keeping his priorities straight.

So has the blood from Grogu been transferred out of the ship and back to the remnant empire already, or do they have to find a new “donor” to help with building Snoke and Palpatine’s clones? Will they continue to go after him with Luke?

Lmao Din being so annoyed by Bo Katan being stringent about the tradition of winning the Dark Saber through combat is HILARIOUS, coming from a man who up until like a day ago hadn’t shown his face to a living being in decades.

The dark troopers can punch in blast doors but NOT Din’s helmet?? That’s a wild testament to beskar. Somehow that’s the comparison that sticks out to me, more even than its resistance to lightsabers.

This show works because of the cynicism of so many characters adding contrast to the moments of heart. Cara Dune is not a “fan” the way Rey was (for the record I love Rey, don’t come at her, it’s just different). Cara doesn’t see an X-Wing and go OMG THE REBELLION I LOVE THEM. She’s been through too much to believe in the magic saviourism of the “good guys,” and is instead thinking strategically when she, the one Rebel present, brushes off the usefulness of “one X-Wing.” The only positive things she seems to feel in battle situations are moments of relief and brief satisfaction in hurting the empire, with a dark knowledge that it will never make up for the hurt they did to her.

How do you keep a cloak hood on while fighting? Both from a technical standpoint (my hats fall off without me even having to move- is he expending force energy just to keep it on and look cool lol?) and also because idk, maybe it’s just me, but peripheral vision is helpful when surrounded by killer robots on a thin bridge above oblivion. I know his first lesson was to “see” through the force, but every resource helps, right?

Now that she has the ship, I wonder if Bo Katan can reprogram any salvageable Dark Troopers to help with retaking Mandalore?

There is nothing like seeing Luke’s fighting style, with its efficient choppiness and twinge of darkness. I always wonder how much is natural and how much is influenced by his first fights with Vader (that Skywalker diva flair). I love how they’ve advanced his technique but also kept him extremely “grey” here- like to straight up COMBUST a Dark Trooper takes some violent energy lol.

How tf is Moff Gideon alive after threatening Grogu’s life twice directly? That’s a wild testament to Din’s regard for Cara.

I love how seeing Luke slice through a bunch of murder droids like butter probably was a huge point in his favor for Din actually letting Grogu go with him. Like he will only send his child to boarding preschool if he knows the teacher will be a certified killing machine.

Oh my god they finally brought in some OG Star Wars theme music for Luke to take his hood off to 😭 It felt weird seeing him fight to different music, so the emotional payoff is huge when his themes come back for the face reveal.

Whoever added the digital young Mark Hamill face NAILED those classic shining Luke eyes and the earnest eyebrow lift.

Whoever shines the glass of Baby Yoda’s lil puppet eyeballs each day deserves a raise. The light caught in those babies is devastating.

Din is shaking as he takes off his helmet. This is the most enormous show of love he could give him, and possibly the last he’ll be able to for a long time. He only just got Grogu back and is desperate for a moment of real connection before letting him go once again.

This is the first time anyone has touched Din’s face since... likely his parents as a child.

Whoever wrote this scene clearly actually has kids. Anyone who’s ever had to leave a young child even just to go out for a bit or to drop them off somewhere knows that heartbreak of seeing them look in your eyes and hold on to your leg, trying to keep you with them. Especially when they can sense your mutual separation anxiety. The one thing that starts to make them feel better is something fun like a new toy or friend who can be their guide in the new environment, and R2’s friendly introduction is exactly that (since digital Luke isn’t being particularly emotive or child friendly... I hope that’s just because he’s reaching into Grogu’s mind while also keeping an eye on the multiple people with guns trained on him, not because he’s going to be totally unfeeling raising this kid.)

I love that Grogu and R2 are immediately buddies in contrast to Episode 5 when R2 was like “fuck this guy” @ Yoda stealing food and hitting him with a walking stick lol. I would imagine Luke must be reminded of that first introduction too and entertained by this display of playfulness in a *positive* light between R2 and mini-Yoda.

I need to know if Luke and Ahsoka have met- it is KILLING ME.

Does this mean Grogu will get killed by Kylo Ren when he fucks up Luke’s academy??? I will reincarnate Ben just to kill him again if that’s the case.

How does Luke not even fully SMILE at Grogu?? An adorable little baby version of his beloved master Yoda, and you’re telling me he doesn’t have the same heart stopping gasp we all did when we first saw him?? Maybe he did when they first connected through the force. He has a bit of bemusement on his face, and also wonder in his eyes, but I want a grin of recognition and welcome, dammit.

I really wish Luke had somehow acknowledged Cara Dune. Everyone else seems to see the tear drop Rebel sign and know it means Alderaan. He could’ve been like yo I have a badass warrior sister from your planet that you should meet. Or just “thank you for your service.” (I know this actually wouldn’t have been cinematically good but my heart wants it.)

Luke didn’t tell Din his name?? Or ask for any details about the kid and his care?? I could literally never let my kid go with someone, regardless of how worthy, and not be like, “Excuse me sir who are you and where tf are you taking my tiny beloved green goblin in case I need to find him? Here is my contact info. He likes to eat frogs and eggs, and he can have macarons as a treat. He’s 50 years old and his favorite toy is still a ball. Bedtime is 8pm and he’s allergic to dairy.”

Another reason I wish Luke had identified himself would be to see the mishmash of reactions that would ensue. Cara would be like DAMN IT’S THAT GUY WHO BLEW UP THE DEATH STAR AND KILLED THE EMPEROR, ACT COOL (and she would indeed act cool). Fennec would be like ugh it’s that guy who helped kill my best paying client Jabba the Hutt and then fucked over my boss Boba, I helped save the kid for THIS? And I would LOVE to know how Bo Katan feels about him, assuming she’s heard of him, and especially if she knows he’s Anakin Skywalker’s son. That confusion is probably the reason WHY the writers didn’t have him reveal himself- they didn’t want to break the emotion of the scene.

Let‘s all be real I’m just being needy about wanting things from Luke because of what he meant to me as a kid and my resulting innate need to have more canon of him, whatever it is, whenever I can get it. Especially in this form that’s so similar to ROTJ, a movie I watched on endless repeat. Even getting this was incredible though. Who else could we trust this lil heart-stealing green bean with so fully? Yet who would be so arrogant as to try to train a baby yodling (see: Ahsoka’s wise refusal)?

R2 is reckless as hell lmao. Not that we don’t already know that, but for him to just head on in, effectively abandoning Luke’s ship (how can they know if there are more troopers or not who might blow it up?) and also putting himself in the path of the ridiculously deadly Dark Troopers is NUTS. I’m usually on his side but he absolutely deserves a scolding by C3PO for this one.

I wonder if Grogu has any memories of R2 or vice versa since they did occupy the Jedi Temple at the same time. Can Grogu understand droids? They could swap stories about mutual acquaintances.

Does Din pretty much have to go with Bo Katan now since a) he’s shown his face and may not be able to go back to the Watch, and b) because he has the darksaber and has to figure out how to get it back to her without dying?

How in the hell did Bib Fortuna (whose chins age was not kind to) go from being butler to being boss? Were all the henchmen just like, “Fuck yeah, no Hutt parents no rules, let’s do what we want!!” And then they’ve spent the last ten years living off of whatever money they could salvage from Jabba’s non-banked wealth? Why has no one challenged them for that prime real estate and loot? I would love to hear that story.

Fennec Shand says “respect sex workers” so you better fuckin’ do it.

Idk dude Bib Fortuna really was a good butler, and he seemed pretty willing to comply with whoever’s in power. Did he screw Boba over in his attempt to return from the dead and earn that killing shot somehow? Or was this to make sure there was no one left who would have a claim to loyalty? Or maybe Boba just really wanted to sit in that chair.

Does “The Book of Boba Fett” mean we’re not on Din Djarin’s story anymore? Or is it a new show? I would much prefer the latter. I want to see Din help retake Mandalore or at least get a hug.

[hood-ex]

Your writing is so good and I loved that de-aged Tim fic :) If you’re still taking drabble prompts, could you please do either 114: “Oh my god, that’s a severed hand.” or 139: “The store was having their post-Easter sale so now I have a pantry full of cheap candy.” with Tim and Bruce?

LOL, Ren, you sent me this prompt like 2 years ago and I’m only just now finishing it. So fuckin sorry about that!! But hey, better late than never… right… alskjdla. I suck. Anyways, enjoy! 

Tim gripped the edge of his mask and carefully peeled it off his skin. He blinked away the tightness lingering around his eyes from the dried glue and threw the mask down by his feet where his tunic, gloves, and pants were clumped together. 

He always felt a little ridiculous whenever he had to change out of his costume in the car. Mostly because he kneed himself in the face an ungodly amount of times while taking his pants off. Bruce had it even worse with the Batman suit, hence why they tried to avoid mobile wardrobe changes as much as possible. 

Tonight’s impromptu wardrobe change was all thanks to Damian. The kid had been spewing his demon germs all over the manor since yesterday, and he’d polished off the last of his cough syrup around dinner. Since Alfred was busy making sure Damian didn’t die of his nasty sickness, Tim was the one who had to go fetch Damian some medicine from Walgreens.

The problem was that they weren’t carrying any cash, and obviously, Batman couldn’t be seen using Bruce Wayne’s credit card. Since Tim had the easier costume to get out of, Bruce decided Tim would be the one to go in and buy the medicine.

Tim was in the middle of putting on a white shirt when he heard a sharp gurgle that overpowered the rmm-rmm-rmm of the batmobile’s engine. He placed his hand on his noisy stomach and rubbed gentle circles over the freshly bruised skin.

“Can we stop at a Batburger? Peter’s hungry.”

Bruce, who was bobbing his head along to “Paint It Black,” paused. His cowl was off, and Tim blatantly stared at Bruce’s disheveled hair and bloodshot eyes. The dark bags he was sporting didn’t help the fact that he looked like a raccoon heading to an AA meeting.

Bruce blinked once, twice, and then sighed deeply through his nose. “Who’s Peter?”

“My stomach,” Tim said. “You didn’t hear him talking just now?”

“Hnn.”

“You and Peter would probably get along since you both speak in monosyllables.”

The crease between Bruce’s brow made an appearance. “Why are you personifying your stomach?”

Tim kicked his feet up on the dash. He’d have to clean off his muddy shoe prints before Alfred noticed. “Because I’m not me when I’m hungry.”

Judging by the deep frown on Bruce’s face, it was likely he’d never seen a Snickers commercial before. What a waste of a joke. Tim would have to save that one for the next time he went on patrol with Dick.

“Grab a snack while you’re in there,” Bruce said. He pulled the batmobile over into an isolated area that was a block away from the Walgreens.

“Sweet. You want anything?” Tim asked.

“No.”

Tim hopped out of the car. “Suit yourself. I’ll be back in twenty.”

He shut the door and then sprinted down the uneven cracks of the sidewalk, praying he wouldn’t catch his foot in a pothole and go flying. The lack of light certainly didn’t help with that problem. Seriously, did all the street lamps on this block spontaneously bust or what?

By some miracle, he made it to the store unscathed. He walked through the automatic doors, squinting his eyes to protect them from the bright fluorescent lights.

The lady at the register was a middle-aged brunette who looked like she was about to fall asleep on her feet. She regarded Tim with a quick look and threw out a greeting in a tone that didn’t match her expression whatsoever. Tim gave his fellow graveyard shift worker a nod and then made a beeline for the medicine section.

It took him way longer than it should have to meticulously scan each shelf to find the cough syrup, and when he did find the cough syrup, he had a crisis over which flavor to get. They had strawberry, cherry, and grape. What the hell would Damian like the most? All he knew was that Damian was a vegetarian. He didn’t know shit about what kind of fruit the kid liked, and he’d never really seen Damian eat a lot of candy either.

The more Tim stared at the bottles, the more he was aware that Bruce was waiting for him in the car. His hand twitched anxiously between each option until he decided he’d just choose the old fashioned way.

“Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go. My mother told me to pick the very best one and you are it!”

His finger landed on the grape flavor. Tim shrugged at the result and snatched it off the shelf. If Damian didn’t like it, he could just suck it up and pinch his nose while he swallowed it.

With that out of the way, Tim headed to the candy aisle. Even though a bag of chips would have probably been more filling, he wasn’t in the mood for something super salty. He figured he might as well indulge his sweet tooth a little since Alfred would probably have some kind of leftover nutritious sandwiches that he could eat at home.

The candy aisle was full of both regular candy and Halloween themed candy, even though Halloween was still two months away. Tim thought he wanted something chocolatey like a Kit Kat until he saw a bunch of Halloween gummies.

While he was deciding between the two, his stomach growled. Tim frowned and rubbed soothing circles over it.

“Hush, Peter. Your father works long, grueling hours, and he’s trying his best to decide what candy is best for you.”

Peter gurgled again as if in protest. Tim ignored it and debated playing the eeny, meeny, miny, moe game again to choose. Fuck it he thought and swiped the Halloween gummy mystery pack. He could get Kit Kats any day of the week, but Halloween gummies were seasonal. Might as well take advantage of it now. He probably wouldn’t make it out to a store during October since it was always crazier than usual that month.

Decision made, he went to the front and got checked out by the same lethargic looking worker he’d greeted earlier. With the goodies secured in the plastic bag that was clutched in his grip, Tim took off into the night back to where the batmobile was hiding.

Bruce must have seen him coming because the door opened up for him as soon as he was close enough. Tim climbed in, noting that Bruce was now tapping his hands against the wheel to the beat of some Hindi song.

“Did they have it?” Bruce asked. He waited for Tim to buckle himself in before driving off.

“Yup!” Tim said while digging through the bag. He pulled out his candy and waved it in Bruce’s peripheral. “Annnd I got these bad boys. You want one?”

Bruce glanced at the bag and scrunched his nose. “What are they?”

“Let’s see here,” Tim said. He ripped open the bag and worked on opening one of the individually wrapped pieces of candy. “It’s a…” he paused, staring at the white and red piece of candy that came out of the wrapper. “Oh my god.” He held it out in front of his face and smacked on the overhead light to get a better look at it. “It’s a severed hand!”

Tim placed the severed hand on top of Bruce’s shoulder. “Look, it’s comforting you.”

“Hn.”

“Don’t you feel comforted, B?”

“By gelatin and artificial dyes?” Bruce asked with a raised brow. “No.”

Tim grabbed the gummy off its perch and plopped it in his mouth. “Peter finds it comforting.” The taste of the gummy didn’t hit until Tim bit into it. “Oh, gross!” he said while forcing the bland gummy down his throat with a grimace.

“You know,” Bruce said, a rare grin on his face, “I don’t think he does.”

Even though Tim’s mouth tasted like rubbery ass now, he grinned back.

[twdbegins]

Spooked

__

Simon x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Language. 

A/N: A lot of pet names in this...haha SHOCKER. Here’s a little early Halloween addition fic! I’ll have more holiday fics coming soon.

Requested by: @birdieofloxley

Word Count: 1,835

“Why would you make up something like that? You really scared me.” 

__

The legs of the chair you were sitting in squeaked as you leaned forward, tuned in to what Negan was saying. It was late October (or at least, you had estimated that it was October) meaning Halloween was soon approaching. Halloween was one of your favorite holidays as a kid. The candy, the trick or treating, the costumes were all part of the spooky experience. As you got older, you cared less about the costumes and more about the scary movies. Almost every Halloween (pre-apocalypse of course) consisted of you curling up on the sofa with a bowl of wrapped chocolate with some sort of scary movie on. 

The only downside to this was that you were a bit jumpy. It didn’t take much to get you feeling paranoid and have you checking under your bed for monsters. Which was ironic considering you literally lived in a world where there were horror movie like creatures roaming at every turn. 

So you weren’t really sure how you ended up here. Sitting with Negan and Simon outside of The Sanctuary after hours on a particularly cold night, listening to the two of them tell scary stories. Negan was recalling the time he almost became walker food when he was out on a run alone once. His voice was low and deep, his eyes fixed on yours as he spoke;

“Its hand barely had any skin left on it...it was basically all bone at that point,” He described; “For a half rotted roamer, it had a nasty grip on me though.” 

Your heart was beating crazy fast in your chest. You couldn’t even imagine how scared you’d be if that had happened to you. The fact that he was able to laugh about it now was astonishing. 

“I was able to reach my knife and just as it went to sink its teeth into my calf, I drilled the blade into its head,” He told; “I stabbed it an extra time for good measure. It took me at least a good five minutes to get it completely off of me because I was shaking so bad.” 

You were wide eyed now as you processed everything he was saying. Simon sucked in a breath before sighing it out;

“Shit. I don’t even think I’ve ever come that close to being roamer chow,” He admitted. He noticed the chill that went up your spine, prompting him to one up Negan’s story by telling his own; “You think that’s bad? Let me tell you about the time I was chased by my neighbor who was an escaped convict for murder.”

Your head snapped in his direction;

“You’re not serious.” You gaped.

Simon put his hands up in defense;

“It’s true. I swear.” He said with a hint of smirk appearing.

It wasn’t true. As excitedly terrifying as it may sound, Simon had never known any murderers or real criminals in his day. He was just making this up off the top of his head.

“You’re fucking with us. No damn way that happened.” Negan bantered.

Simon chuckled;

“You wanna hear the story or not?” He asked sassily.

You and Negan shot each other glances, before turning your attention back to Simon.

“I was about 18. Just about to go off to college,” He began; “This guy lived about three doors down and had always been a little odd. He very rarely came out of his house, but it was always dark. He had weird vibes all around. All the parents in the neighborhood wouldn’t dare let their kids go play around his house.”

You were nervously chewing on your thumb nail as you listened intently. You didn’t like the fuzzy feeling that was bubbling in your belly. 

“It wasn’t a surprise that none of us knew that he had been arrested and thrown in prison. His house was exactly the same when he wasn’t around. I felt bad for the guy. For all I knew, he was just a lonely guy with no one to talk to,” He continued; “So one day I thought it would be nice to hand deliver his morning newspaper to him. I went to the front door, knocked, but didn’t get an answer.” 

You didn’t like where this was going. You were quite literally on the edge of your seat as you took it all in. Negan himself even refrained from interrupting, curious to see how this would end.

“I heard some sort of racket in his backyard, so I walked around and through the fence. And what I saw about made me damn near sick,” He explained; “He was in his prison jumpsuit and all. And he was burying a body in his backyard.”

Your heart hit your shoes and bounced back up to your throat. Negan’s jaw dropped and his face went pale. This was the most insane story you had ever heard. 

“I was going to just make a run for it and pray to God I could forget about it. But then he saw me standing there like a deer in headlights,” He said rubbing his slightly chilled hands together; “I shit you not, the fucker dropped the shovel and started running at me.”

You were speechless. How had he never told you this story before? More importantly, how did this not traumatize him? Now Negan was just as wide eyed as you, stunned at what he was hearing. 

“I swear my feet left the ground before I could even think. I sprinted in the other direction and started screaming bloody murder...no pun intended,” He snorted; “Anyways, to make a long story short, I managed to run out of my neighborhood and found a policeman down the street. Turns out he had escaped his cell that morning and they had been on the hunt for him all day because they were afraid of what he might do. That body was some random guy that he encountered after his escape.” 

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. The hairs on your arms and legs were sticking straight up. You suddenly had the eery feeling that someone was looking at you. 

“My mom had to come pick me up from the police station. I was convinced she wasn’t going to let me go off to school after that,” He joked; “But once it was all cleared up, things turned back to normal...but I still would get a sense of fight or flight every time I visited home. But, hey, shit happens.”

Simon finished his story nonchalantly. As if he hadn’t just confessed that he had almost been chopped to bits by a psycho killer. You felt like your heart was going to make a leap of faith out of your chest. You had never heard anything like that in your entire life. Negan shook his head to shake the thought;

“You were had a life or death encounter with a serial killer and all you can say is ‘shit happens’? Simon, I may have pegged you wrong,” Negan stated; “You are one badass motherfucker.”

Simon grinned and shrugged. He had been lying, of course, but if it earned him brownie points with the boss, then he didn’t mind dragging it out. You were shocked silent. What do you even say to that? Negan smiled, shaking his story off effortlessly;

“I don’t know if I can top that, but have I ever told you two about the time I fought off a rabid raccoon?” Negan asked with a raised brow. 

Simon caught your ghostly and tired look and stood from his chair;

“No and I’d love to hear it, but I think she’s had enough storytelling for one night.” Simon said guiding you up from your chair. 

Negan shrugged with a scoff;

“Suit yourself. It’s one hell of a story though.” He said standing from his own seat.

Simon assured him of another time to tell it and finally walked you back inside from the courtyard. Simon had already completely discarded the story he had just burned into your head. He didn’t even catch the slight shiver in your limbs. You were rattled and even a little terrified. You felt like a little kid who swears they had heard a monster under their bed. Simon slipped his hand into yours as you walked back to your floor;

“So, I’ll see you in the morning, yeah?” He asked softly in your ear, careful not to wake anybody else up. 

He wasn’t going to leave you alone tonight, was he? Surely not after all that. You stopped his trek and looked at him with pleading eyes;

“Can I stay with you tonight? Please?” You asked gently; “I don’t want to be alone tonight.” You confessed.

Now, he realized something was up. He instantly agreed, leading you to his room. He watched as you quietly got ready for bed and crawled under the sheets and covers. He followed suit, pulling you to him. You latched onto him like he’d float away if you didn’t. Simon looked down at you with worried eyes;

“What’s the matter, baby?” He asked sweetly.

You buried your face into his soft shirt and shook your head. You didn’t want to admit you were scared, but you also couldn’t get the thought of being chased by a crazed killer out of your head either. He rubbed your back comfortingly and encouraged you;

“Darlin’, you can talk to me. Always.” He cooed.

You mumbled against him. He rested his chin on your head, taking in the scent of your favorite soap. His brain racked up any ideas of what was making you so fidgety. He finally thought back to the story that he had just told about a half hour prior. He suddenly felt guilty. He didn’t think it would’ve scared you this bad...especially since it wasn’t even true.

“Is it the story I told just a little while ago?” He asked.

When you nodded, he whimpered out an airy sympathetic sound. He held you tighter and admitted his lie;

“Oh, sweetheart, that didn’t actually happen. I just made it up.” 

You paused and looked up at him. The way your glossy eyes shimmered and lower lip quivered broke his heart;

“Really? You’re not just saying that?” You asked desperately.

“I promise. The whole thing was just a story.” 

Your brows furrowed, suddenly a little annoyed;

“Why would you make up something like that? You really scared me.” You said truthfully.

He kissed your forehead and hummed deeply;

“I didn’t think you’d actually believe it. You always see through my bullshit.” He grinned brightly.

You growled faintly;

“Not always. I literally thought you were serious.” 

“I’m sorry, [Y/N], I didn’t mean to.” He apologized. 

You nuzzled back into his frame, accepting his apology. You were mostly relieved that didn’t actually happen to him though. You would’ve been scarred for life. 

“That’s okay. You really could’ve been an actor, might I add.” You joked.

He scoffed, kissing your skin;

“I’ll stick to storytelling in the courtyard.” 

[lovelyirony]

honestly i think it would be really cool to explore the possibility of what if petunia evans had been a witch. she got her letter a year late--dumbledore says the post was crazy, mcgonagall doesn’t say anything--and she goes to lily, who she hasn’t been the nicest to, and timidly asks if she can get a map to where she’s supposed to go. 

“you won’t know the first thing, come with me,” her sister says. “sev and i can take you.” and petunia doesn’t exactly want to go with them because she gets a weird feeling around lily’s best friend, but okay. 

the world is as realistic as it is magical. petunia can hear the casual spell and flick of a wand to grab a dress from high up, and lily laughs as she takes it all in. 

“we have to get you a wand first.” 

and lily teaches her everything. what you shouldn’t wear, how to accessorize, and who to talk to. 

“do not talk to james potter or anyone who calls you anything mean,” lily says. 

(petunia never really talks to james because he is ridiculous and too much of a boy. 

but lily breaks this rule several times over.) 

petunia is there for her sister when severus snape starts saying nasty things, when she gets the position of head girl, and when they have exams. 

She is there when their parents are out of town and lily forges the signature because “tuney, you have to go to hogsmeade with us.” 

she likes the group that lily is part of, the group that she shouldn’t be a part of because all of those people are so...so good. and brash and blunt and petunia has always been too proper. 

“you speak the queen’s english,” sirius tells her over a drink of butterbeer. “you’re not like the rest of us.” 

and in a way, she isn’t. petunia doesn’t go to the magic world for work. she finds that when she takes the wizard version of home ec, she’s one of the few students that can excel in it 

so she opens her own bakery in london, buys her own flat, and settles down nicely. there’s a florist shop at the corner, and she can get small little gatherings for her tables when the morning rush comes in 

lily and james visit frequently, and james always tries to accio some of the lemon-poppyseed scones. when lily tells her the big news of harry, petunia receives calls right before closing sheepishly asking if there are any raspberry cupcakes left 

(petunia never has any left, but she bakes some extra thirty minutes to close because she knows her sister will want some) 

when harry potter is sent into the world, there are dangerous times. and petunia knows this, probably knows it more than she should. she sees the worried looks on his parents’ faces when she comes over to babysit while the Order meets. 

but she knows that right now, it’s her job to make Harry laugh and hopefully not wail as they’re trying to plan out some attacks. 

it is october when petunia worries. she worries when they change from sirius to peter, and she tells them so. she has never liked peter, neither has lily much. but he’s always been okay, and james likes him well enough. besides, he’s like family. 

just 

like 

family 

except he’s not, and he nearly gets lily and james killed. probably would, if it hadn’t been for petunia’s insistence that she come on halloween to take a picture of her nephew in his little bat costume. after all, she had found it on sale 

petunia doesn’t use magic often, but she knows enough of it to carry her wand on her 

they are not sure why the green light reflected off lily, but it does. 

there is a man crumpled on the kitchen, and petunia says she didn’t like the yellow tile of their kitchen anyway after all is said and done 

harry spends many nights at “aunt tuney’s” as he’s growing up, and complains consistently about not being allowed to fly indoors or out of doors, what would Miss Arabella Figg say? 

(Miss Fig would say that Harry would be the best seeker in a couple of years, and some of her cats needed a good scare anyways) 

harry learns how to bake things, and use a little bit of magic along the way 

he also learns that aunt tuney knows plenty of magic, she just doesn’t always use it like his parents like to. 

when he is eleven, he gets his letter while his parents are at work and he is at the bakery after school. petunia made him tea and gave him a biscuit and helped him with some maths homework. (they keep changing the methods! why!) 

and aunt tuney is the one who accompanies them, because while they can get everything on the list, it’s a brand new experience. petunia laughs as harry chooses an owl named hedwig and makes a new friend with a weasley 

“You remember arthur!” james tells tuney when they’re all having a drink after harry has gone to bed “he’s the one who was always making friends with the muggles. i think one gave him a rubber duck and he cried.” 

aunt petunia is there at the train station with a container of sweets for harry to share on the train, and a promise to treat everyone rather nicely and to not get into too much trouble 

they get a letter home from professor mcgonagall saying that harry would be a seeker his first year 

“minnie, holy shit!” james says. “my son!” 

“he’s going to get a bigger head,” lily groans to her sister. “i need stronger tea.” 

petunia meets a nice man who owns a bookshop a few minutes’ walk down the street, and he likes writing about magic. he also attended hogwarts, a year up from petunia. he writes children’s books, and thinks harry is hilarious and one of his books lands big. his name is david. 

their marriage ceremony is small because it’s near mother’s day, and petunia has a lot of orders to fill for tea cakes 

(she and lily go dress shopping for the just right one, and harry says that one of his classmates said that there’s such a thing as a ringbearer, and he figures it’ll be cool) 

david and petunia take a small trip to Greece and come back with ancient magic books for harry and pictures to show off. (even though she keeps the photo of david kissing her for herself. lily would tease her) 

as harry grows up, petunia will get phone calls and letters and even one time a howler from james of all people, and it wasn’t even a howler so much of “please petunia talk some sense into your nephew, he’s a teenager now, ugh” 

she listens to all of the rants harry goes on of his mother not understanding and his father expecting too much of him, she treks into the trendy stores to buy him clothes that look ugly and “honestly you could’ve gone to Harrods or something, Harry, what are these pants” 

she is there when ginny finally comes to family dinners and they’re awkward and she pretends not to see the moments they think they’re being sneaky about. (harry got the subtlety gene from his father. which means it’s not there.) 

aunt tuney is there when she gets to lily’s home after harry graduates from hogwarts and is off to college and exploring career options and lily just wails about 

“my baby! harry! he used to be this tall! and ride on a broom that blew bubbles!” 

she is there when harry announces that he wants to be a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and James jokes about going back to school. 

there’s a dinner to celebrate Ginny and Harry’s engagement, and Petunia exchanges words with classmates she hasn’t seen in years, and brings David along. he’s always better at reading her, so they can go home a little bit early after she drinks her second fruity drink. 

and when she decides to retire and hand off the bakery to a young witch named luna who has inventive ideas about decoration and has more subtle magic than most of the applicants. the only thing petunia’s really worried about are the numbers, but luna says she has a couple of friends to take care of that. a timid boy named neville--tuney always liked his mother--promises to help around during the break months. he teaches with harry. 

she never meets vernon, never has dudley, never knows who she would have been had she not been a witch. 

to be quite frank, she doesn’t want to know what she’d be like if she wasn’t a witch and if lily hadn’t taken her instead of just thrusting a map in her direction.