#like the shows they nominated I'm sure are fine

[lesbianjohnlennon]

It's queer! by Nelson Motta (O Pasquim)

"o pasquim" was a brazilian alternative weekly, known for its paradoxical and satirical nature, published between 1969 and 1991. it was recognized for its engagement with the brazilian counterculture scene of the 1960s and for its role in opposing the military regime. in 1970, the magazine published an article about john and paul (and brian) affair, written by nelson motta. here's the translation (with adicional notes) 👇

It’s queer! by Nelson Motta

Paul McCartney loved John Lennon, who loved Brian Epstein, who loved Paul McCartney. All the whole London music scene (1) knows this, and there, the famous suspicion about Paul's “death”, which originated with an American DJ, didn't catch on.

The "death" theory is well-constructed, but the true story (the one about their faggotry (2)) makes much more sense. And it's much spicier. I prove what I said (3):

Everything was going great in the John-Paul-Epstein triangle. Everyone loved each other, they adored jelly beans, everything was rosy, smoke and mirrors, etc. Ringo and George Harrison were always on a different page. The duo was Lennon and McCartney — they sang together, composed together, did everything together. Together with Brian Epstein, of course, who was openly queer and quite relaxed about it.

Everything was fine until Paul and John decided that two's company and three's a crowd, etc., and kicked Epstein out of the bed.

It's not proven, but many serious and well-informed people claim that Epstein committed suicide after a fight with Paul. Epstein supposedly gave Paul a very valuable gift, which Paul not only ignored but also hung up on Epstein, who, in despair, killed himself.

But John and Paul had many arguments, especially when Paul was still single and John was already tied down with the Japanese woman. The nippo, who is very wild and forward-thinking (4), didn't mind sharing John with Paul, but McCartney (that face never fooled Sérgio Cabral (5)) had jealousy issues. They fought and made up many times, even through music.

To "show the proof"(6) (I'm not sure why this phrase keeps coming up): Paul made up by composing Get Back (To Me) (7), and Lennon responded with a passionate interpretation of Oh Darling that everyone thought was "darling" (in the female sense) but was actually "darling" (in the male sense)(8). These are some of the great ambiguities of the English language.

But the Japanese woman really tied John Lennon down; no one knows exactly how. Or rather, everyone knows how.

The press started reporting that they were fighting a lot, and the explanations were always about "business and musical matters." Only a fool would believe that, since it's known that Apple was never in danger, none of the Beatles were at risk of starving, and the duo's musical production never suffered any drop in quality or sudden change in style.

After his last fight with John, Paul met Linda Eastman, who, through talks and things like that, convinced him to re-establish his heterosexuality (9). Probably out of revenge, Paul ended up marrying her to get back at John with a "for your information, I've already found someone else to replace you." (10)

The final result: John recording solo (Instant Karma is third on the American charts) while Paul is also making waves as a solo artist with Let It Be, first place on the American charts, and Paul's solo album has already been released.

Some clueless people might ask, "But how do Lennon & McCartney songs keep appearing?"

Elementary, my dear Jaguar (11): The duo has an exclusive contract with the music publisher Northern Songs until 1972, and everything one does will carry the other's name, at least nominally, as a partner. This practice is very common among songwriting duos where both contribute to the lyrics and music interchangeably.

You must admit that, at the very least, this is a respectable theory. I can't prove it because I've never been involved in this affair, which is absolutely not my specialty.

They’re the ones who are queer; let them figure it out.

notes:

(1) in the original, “patota musical de londres”. “patota” has a kind of pejorative meaning of a group of people. also means a group of friends or colleagues.

(2) in the original, “bichisse”, and it was the best way of translation that i could find.

(3) in the original, “mato a cobra e mostro o (the) pau”. again the best i could find.

(4) in the original, “superprafrentex”, which was a common slang in brazil in the 70s, used to describe someone who was modern and progressive.

(5) sérgio cabral was a famous journalist in brazil, and one of the founders of “o pasquim”.

(6) again, in the original, “mato a cobra e mostro o (the) pau”.

(7) in the original, “Get Back (Volta pra mim)”, which is funnier in portuguese and i tried to keep the tone.

(8) in Portuguese, every noun has a gender. darling can be translated to “querida” (feminine) or “querido” (masculine). 

(9) in the original, “restabelecer a mão única”. “mão única”, which literally translates to “one-way street”, makes a reference to paul’s sexuality, implying he was going (or into) on both “ways”, men and women.

(10) in the original, “pra teu governo já tenho outra em teu lugar”, another idiom. but works in english, anyway.

(11) in the original, “Elementar, meu caro Jaguar”, a playful reference to sherlock holmes’ line.

disclaimer: this was written in 1970, so is full of outdated expressions (and slurs) so read carefully!

[lowkeyrobin]

hi could you please write smth about accidentally revealing your relationship with quackity? preferably with cc!reader <3

of course!! thanks for the request 🫶 ; ik I did a preference about accidentally revealing relationships but doing a little different thing and going in depth w it was fun!

QUACKITY ; softlaunch ❌ hardlaunch ✅

summary ; you and Alex accidentally reveal your relationship

warnings ; language, little bit of buzzed ranting, use of pet names (babe)

genre ; fluff

word count ; 1k

masterlist

You and Alex have been together for about ten-ish months, keeping it on the low since you'd been traveling around for QSMP meetups, events, and the Streamer Awards for a little bit.

You'd finally gotten home, your shared apartment with Alex, with Cellbit and Roeir tagging along. The three were planning to make a 'trying mexican candies' video in the morning while you were planning to edit and maybe stream til you felt tired enough to quit and sleep. The three guys sit out in the living room, watching some TV show as they sprawl out on the couch, buzzed from the aftermath of award winning.

You were more than proud for your boyfriend, but it being so late now, and your need for comfort after being overstimulated for hours on end, called for a little alone time. You sit in your office, the clock reading 1:30am as you hit the Go Live button on your stream.

You decided to chill out behind the closed door, just chatting with whatever viewers were still awake at this hour, or were just beginning their day, depending on timezones. After five minutes, you greet your chat, snacking on some cookies you'd picked up from the store before returning home earlier, a glass of milk sitting on your desk next to the plastic box.

You sit in your very comfortable chair with a QuackityHQ hoodie, with the signature duck in the corner and design on the back, and some long, patterned pj pants, colored dark blue and black with a floral design. They were thin enough to wear in the warm heat, which was perfect for you. You looked tired but didn't really feel that way, like your eyes were sewn open from adrenaline and happiness.

"Good morning, everyone" You chuckle, "Alex just won an award, feeling good! He, Cellbit and Roier got some drinks and have been watching TV on the couch, so sorry if you can hear them. I closed the door just in case but don't mind any shouting or music"

Your chat explodes with messages, congratulating you, even though you lost in your category, and spamming hearts and heart hands emojis. Someone sends in a small donation, asking for clarification why they were at your house.

"Oh, Alex didn't wanna drive all the way back to his place and he had his car parked here from earlier. He drove the other two and we all left together. They're staying the night" You nod, clarifying with a little bit of lying, not wanting to slip up.

You'd known for a while that Alex was just a secretive person over the smallest things, and he didn't know why. You were totally fine being open about your relationship with friends, but made sure to respect boundaries for him. He reassured you in his own panic that he wasn't embarrassed to be with you and didn't want to hide his love for you often.

He explained it in simplest terms as he was weirdly secretive and he didn't want his weirdo stans attacking you or only watching you for him, he didn't want to ruin your fanbase that you built from the ground up. You'd been friends since forever, a good percentage (if not all, then most) of your fans also watched Quackity's content, which kind of made sense to you, but you didn't question it.

"But yeah, it was fun, just like... there were so many people, and so much was happening all at once and shit. I'm just trying to calm down and get tired." You lightly smile, taking a bite of one of your cookies. "I'm so proud of everyone who won and everyone who was nominated, good night for everyone"

You sit and talk to your chat for a while, occasionally listening to the trio's laughter outside your office. Before you can even snap your head around to inform whoever entered that you were live, they were already speaking, slightly laughing, and stumbling.

"Babe, oh my God, I'm so sorry! I accidentally dropped one of your plates in the kitchen and it fucking shattered everywhere, I'm so sorry. I cleaned it up, I just wanted to tell you than wait for you to notice and make you mad, I'm sorry, Y/n/n"

Your jaw hangs slightly agape, and you stare with a silent expression. You slowly turn back to your stream, the chat absolutely exploding with messages. You saw probably a hundred first time chatters even making an expression about it.

"Lex, I'm live" You speak between your teeth, muting your mic. "Ah- uh, it's, it's fine"

He quickly regains his composure, staring over at you, then looking over to your PC, showing that you were a thousand percent live and five thousand people heard him say that. By the morning, it'd be all over Twitter and YouTube Shorts and TikTok, people were already clipping it.

"Shit"

"Alex, holy shit"

The two of you sit in silence for a minute, trying to rationalize what to do. Cell and Roier bust into the office as well, seeing both of you silent before asking, where you both talk over each other very loudly to try and explain.

They both look over to your monitors, confirming you were live. They both laugh in a light hearted way, looking to Quackity.

"You're cooked, dude"

"Rest in peace"

"You say that like I'm embarrassed to be with them, I mean, it's not like that... I think. Y/n, are you embarrassed to be with me? I'm not embarrassed to be with you, I wanna post pictures of us on adventures and experiencing shit so people can see us for us and what we are-"

"My brother in Christ" You sigh with a chuckle, rubbing your temples. "It's said and done, it's fine. And no, I'm not embarrassed to be with you" You turn back to your stream, unmuting yourself under the red LED lights and lamp on your desk.

You sigh and shrug before speaking, throwing your hands up halfway in defense.

"Y/s/n real"

[harrysfolklore]

brits surprise - singer!yn and harry

ending kinda sucks but i hope you like it :) let me know your thoughts

MY PATREON | MASTERLIST

"Do you want me to hang up so you can get ready?"

"No. Don't," Harry replied, eyes focused on his phone where his girlfriend's face was displayed, "I still have a few minutes before I need to get dressed."

It was one of the most important days for Harry's year, the Brit Awards, it wasn't the first time he was nominated or attending, but after winning Album of The Year at the Grammys mere days before, the night felt even more special.

YN was by his side for the Grammys, cheering for him and holding his hand the entire time. However, her schedule got too tight by the time the Brit Awards came, with tour rehearsals and interviews that didn't allow her to attend the ceremony.

Or that was what Harry thought, but he was completely unaware of the plan his girlfriend, team and friends were orchestrating to get her to London on time to surprise him by announcing one of his awards on stage.

"I really wish you were here," Harry said, running his hands through his dark curls, "But I know you need to rehearse for your tour, and I'm proud of you."

"I'm proud of you too, baby," YN told him, biting back the urge to tell him that she was planning on surprising him, "You're going to do amazing."

"Sue, It's time to get dressed." Lambert voice was heard through the room, and Harry knew it was his cue to hang up.

"I have to go love, but I'll make sure to call you before I go on stage, okay?"

"It's okay, H. Good luck!"

After a couple of hours had passed and Harry delivered an amazing performance, won 3 awards, thanked his former bandamates on stage, kissed Lewis Capaldi and chugged down too many tequila shots, the most important moment of the night was coming up.

Harry was going to get the Album of The Year award and his girlfriend was ready to surprise him on stage.

He was unaware of it all, still thinking that he might not get the award at the end like it happened in 2019 with his album Fine Line.

Mo Gilligan, the host of the night came on stage to introduce who was presenting the category, and when her girlfriend's name was called, Harry thought the alcohol he had chugged down was playing games with his mind.

It was safe to say that he lost his mind when he saw the girl he loved walk out clad in her navy blue suit looking absolutely stunning.

"Good evening Brit Awards!" she said into the mic, making the entire audience erupt in cheers, "You know I wouldn't miss UK's biggest night for anything in the world, and I'm here to present the award for Album of the Year, these are the nominees."

Harry was lost for words, and he didn't care if he lost the award, he just wanted to rush to the stage and kiss his girlfriend.

"And the winner is..." she said after the video showing the nominees was over, opening the envelope, "Harry Styles!"

The melodies from Late Night Talking filled the arena as Harry let out an excited scream and made his way to the stage, eager to reach his girlfriend who was holding out the award for him.

"I can't believe you're here! You sneaky shit!" Harry spoke into her ear as they hugged, placing soft pecks to her cheek, "This is so amazing!" he leaned back to look at her, not thinking twice before grabbing her face and placing a quick peck to her lips.

Remembering that he was on live television and that he had just won a major award, he let go of her and approached the mic to give his speech.

"This night has been really, really special to me and I will never forget it. Thank you so much for the welcome home, I appreciate it so much. There is no place like home. Thank you, thank you, thank you," he paused for a minute to look at his award and smile, "I’m so, so proud to be a British artist out there in the world. I’m so proud to be here tonight celebrating British artists and British music. Thank you, thank you, thank you," he turned his face to look at his girlfriend fro a minute, "I would also love to thank this stunning, sneaky woman who didn't tell me she was going to be here, you really surprised me, love. I'm so grateful you're here, I love you," he blew a quick kiss to her, and she mouthed a soft "I love you" back, "I’m gonna hand it over to Tom and Tyler. Thank you so much for this, I’m so grateful.”

After Tom and Tyler were done with their speeches and the four of them were off the stage, Harry couldn't wait much longer before he was crashing his lips to his girlfriend's again.

"I'm so happy you're here, so so happy."

"I'm always going to be here, love."

taglist: @cucciolafaerie e @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches @golden-hoax @alienorknight @daydreamingofmatilda @ivyproblems @ayeshathestyles s @stylesmygucci @gimsaysay @rosaliedepp @dontworrysunflower @milfrrynation @manifestrry @iceebabies @harrystylesrecs @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore @noitsmebecky @abeanontoast @grapejuice-rry @vrittivsanghavi @msolbesg @tati813 @sad1esgf @eviesaurusrex @itsgabbysblog @theekyliepage @watermelonsugacry @be-with-me-so-happily @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @musicforcinemas inemas @harrybabyyyyyyy @tinydeskwriter @noooovaaaaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mxltifxnd0m @rach2602 @balletdancerry @b-reads-things @juiceboxrry @lomlolivia @itsgigikay @goldensstateofgrace @missmielyhoran @fdl305 @lightsoutstyles

[cnnmairoll]

Night of Victory Pairing: Kozume Kenma x Reader Genre: Fluff, 1.8k words a/n: originally, this is an idea of my persona with Kenma, but I wanted to share it ! so hope you enjoy this :) PLS NOTE THEYRE DATING IN HERE!! IM SORRY IF ITS NOT OBVIOUS ENOUGH 💔

The Corporate Champions Gala was in full swing, the air buzzing with excitement and anticipation. The grand ballroom was adorned with sparkling chandeliers, opulent floral arrangements, and an array of finely dressed attendees. The evening was a dazzling display of Japan's business elite, each eager to see who would take home the coveted awards.

You stood near the entrance, soaking in the grandeur. Your company, known for its innovative solutions and rapid growth, had been a formidable contender against Bouncing Ball Corp. Tonight, the spotlight was shared between you and Kozume Kenma, Tokyo's youngest and one of the most enigmatic CEOs.

As you made your way through the crowd, exchanging pleasantries and polite nods, you spotted him. Kenma stood by a tall window, his gaze fixed on the Tokyo skyline. He looked striking, his hair now a blend of his natural dark color and remnants of blonde, falling slightly over his eyes. His reserved demeanor only added to his mystique.

You approached him, a playful smile tugging at your lips. "Well, if it isn't Kozume Kenma, the gaming prodigy turned corporate mastermind," you teased lightly, your tone laced with friendly rivalry.

Kenma turned to you, a small smile forming on his lips. "And if it isn't the youngest female CEO in Japan, here to steal the show," he replied, his voice soft yet carrying a hint of amusement.

You chuckled, stepping closer. "I see you've been keeping tabs on me. Afraid I'll beat you tonight?"

Kenma's eyes sparkled with a mix of challenge and admiration. "Maybe. But don't get too cocky. The night is still young."

You raised an eyebrow, leaning in slightly. "Oh, come on. Admit it, Kozume. You know I'm going to win that best CEO award. You might as well start planning how you'll fulfill your end of our bet."

Kenma's smile widened, a rare sight for most but something you had grown fond of. "Don't be so sure, [Y/N]. I might surprise you."

You crossed your arms, enjoying the playful banter. "Surprise me? The only surprise would be if you actually enjoyed the spotlight for once."

Kenma opened his mouth to retort, but the sound of the emcee tapping the microphone interrupted him. The room gradually hushed, and all eyes turned towards the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the emcee's voice boomed through the speakers, "we will soon begin the announcements for tonight's nominations. Please take your seats."

Kenma glanced at you, his playful smirk shifting to a more serious expression. "Looks like it's showtime," he said quietly, his eyes flickering with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.

You nodded, feeling a similar swirl of emotions. "Yeah, time to see who takes home the prize."

You both made your way to the reserved seating area, your steps synchronized as you navigated through the crowd. As you sat down, you couldn't help but notice the palpable tension in the room, a testament to the importance of the awards being handed out tonight.

Kenma settled into the seat next to you, his presence a comforting contrast to the competitive atmosphere. "Good luck, [Y/N]," he murmured, his voice barely audible over the murmurs of the crowd.

"Good luck to you too, Kenma," you replied, offering him a genuine smile. Despite the rivalry, there was a mutual respect and admiration that had grown between you, making this moment even more significant.

The lights dimmed slightly, and the emcee began listing the categories and nominees. Your heart raced as the moment drew closer, the anticipation almost tangible. Kenma sat beside you, his calm demeanor a stark contrast to the nervous energy around you.

The emcee's voice echoed through the ballroom, "And now, for the category of Best CEO. The nominees are: Kozume Kenma of Bouncing Ball Corp, [Y/N] [L/N] of [Your Company Name], and…"

As the emcee continued to list the nominees, you glanced at Kenma. His eyes were fixed on the stage, but you noticed his fingers tapping lightly on his knee, a subtle sign of his own anticipation.

You leaned in slightly, whispering, "May the best CEO win."

Kenma turned to you, a small, genuine smile playing on his lips. "May the best CEO win," he echoed softly.

"And the winner for the Best CEO of the year is…" the emcee paused for dramatic effect, his eyes scanning the room. The silence was almost deafening, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest.

"[Y/N] [L/N] of [Your Company Name]!"

The room erupted in applause, and you felt a surge of adrenaline and disbelief. You turned to Kenma, who was already looking at you with a mix of pride and something else that made your heart skip a beat.

"Congratulations," he said sincerely, his eyes reflecting genuine admiration.

You managed a smile, your mind still processing the announcement. "Thank you, Kenma."

As you stood up and made your way to the stage, the applause grew louder. The spotlight was on you now, and you felt a wave of emotions—pride, joy, and a touch of nervousness. You accepted the award, the weight of it a tangible reminder of your hard work and dedication.

After a brief speech thanking your team, your mentors, and the industry for the recognition, you made your way back to your seat. The applause gradually died down, and the emcee continued with the rest of the ceremony.

Kenma was waiting for you, his expression softening as you approached. "Looks like you won the bet," he said, his tone light and teasing.

The rest of the gala passed in a blur of congratulations and farewells. Before you knew it, you and Kenma were driving through the quiet streets of Tokyo, the city lights casting a warm glow on the car's interior. You couldn't help but keep glancing at the plaque resting on your lap, a proud smile playing on your lips.

Kenma noticed and smirked. "Enjoying your victory a bit too much, aren't you?" he teased, his eyes flicking towards you briefly before returning to the road.

You laughed, unable to hide your glee. "Can you blame me? It feels good to win. And to beat you, no less."

He shook his head, his smile widening. "You're really gloating over that plaque, huh? Don't get too comfortable."

You gave him a curious look. "What do you mean by that?"

Kenma didn't answer right away. Instead, he made an unexpected turn and soon pulled up to a small park, its pathways lit by soft, ambient lights. You looked around, confused. "Why are we stopping here?"

He turned off the engine and looked at you, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "I have a trick up my sleeve," he said cryptically. "Come on, let's take a walk."

Intrigued, you followed him out of the car. The night air was cool and refreshing, a stark contrast to the warmth inside the gala. Kenma led you down a winding path, the sounds of the city fading into the background as you walked further into the park.

After a few minutes, you arrived at a small pond. The water was calm, reflecting the soft moonlight beautifully. The scene was serene, almost magical, and you couldn't help but pause to take it all in.

Kenma stood beside you, his gaze also fixed on the pond. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" he said softly, his voice blending with the quiet sounds of the night.

You nodded, a content smile on your face. "It really is. I didn't know you knew about this place."

He chuckled, the sound low and warm. "I like to keep a few secrets."

You turned to look at him, curiosity evident in your eyes. "So, what's this all about? Why did you bring me here?"

Kenma's expression turned serious, but there was a playful glint in his eyes. "You know, you might have won the best CEO award tonight, but I still have my own ways of being the winner."

You stared at him, confused. "The awards have already ended, Kenma. What are you talking about?"

He smiled mysteriously. "Just trust me on this. Close your eyes."

Though perplexed, you obliged, closing your eyes and waiting, the anticipation building. You could hear Kenma moving slightly, the faint rustle of his clothes and the soft crunch of the grass beneath his feet.

"Okay, you can open them now," he said after a moment, his voice barely above a whisper.

As you opened your eyes, you noticed that Kenma had dropped down onto one knee, looking up at you with a mixture of nervousness and determination in his eyes.

In his hand was a small velvet box, opened to reveal a simple yet beautiful ring. He took a deep breath and looked up at you, his voice slightly trembling as he spoke.

"I may have lost the award tonight, but I still feel like the winner. Because I have something far more valuable right here in front of me."

You felt a rush of emotions, tears welling up in your eyes. You couldn't help but chuckle through the tears, shaking your head slightly. "You're such a jerk, you know that?"

Kenma chuckled softly, a wave of relief washing over him as he saw your teary smile. "Yeah, I know I am. But you love this jerk regardless, don't you?"

You laughed, wiping the tears from your eyes, and nodded. "Yes, I do. I love you, Kenma." His face lit up with joy, a smile spreading across his lips as he reached out to take your hand. "You've been my partner, my rival, and my inspiration. And now, I want you to be my everything. [Y/N], will you marry me?" Your heart soared with happiness as you answered, your voice steady despite the tears in your eyes. "Yes, Kenma. A thousand times yes."

Kenma's expression softened further, and he gently slipped the ring onto your finger, his touch tender and loving. He stood up, pulling you into a warm embrace. You could feel his heartbeat against yours, a comforting rhythm that echoed your own emotions.

"Looks like you were right," you whispered, your voice filled with love. "You really are the winner tonight."

Kenma chuckled softly, his breath warm against your ear as he gently tucked a strand of hair behind it. "I love you, you nerd."

You smiled through your tears, teasing back softly, "I love you too, jerk."

He laughed, the sound a symphony of joy and amusement. "You always know how to cut me down to size, don't you? Even when I steal your award and propose to you, I'm still a jerk."

You leaned into his embrace, feeling completely at peace in his arms. "But you're my jerk now," you whispered playfully.

Kenma tugged you closer, his grip on your waist tightening slightly. He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "And you're stuck with this jerk now, love. No take-backs."

[mikeysbride]

We Are Not Going Back

The 2024 U.S. presidential election has been anything but typical or boring, especially in the last month. Once President Joe Biden made the decision to remove himself from the race against Donald Trump in favor of endorsing VP Kamala Harris, everything changed. And it changed for the better if you're a Democrat. I was upset when he first withdrew, feeling that he was basically pushed into it by the media's insistence he is too old to run despite the record he's had as President the last 4 years. But then, within minutes, it seemed, my attitude changed to one of a sense of hope I hadn't felt in a while where the election is concerned. In reality, he made the ultimate selfless decision to put the country's interests above his own, and that is a remarkable quality, especially in a politician. It shows he's the real deal.

It appears I am not alone. The surge of excitement in the Democratic Party surrounding Kamala's nomination, which she'll officially accept this week, has been nothing short of amazing to watch. I have not seen anything like this since President Obama, and that says a lot. Her rallies are breaking attendance records, and even longtime Republicans are pledging to vote for her.

Of course, Kamala has already received the predictable criticism from the Trump cult about everything from her heritage to her laugh. Trump also still refuses to pronounce her name correctly, which is blatantly disrespectful but also typical behavior for him. If Kamala ("comma-la") is too hard for him to pronounce, Madame President will do just fine, I'm sure. But none if this should come as news to anyone. They have nothing else to go on, so of course they resort to the lowest rungs on the ladder when in reality, she has a stellar resume and record having served as a prosecuting attorney, District Attorney, Attorney General, Senator, and now Vice President of the United States. She is an actual prosecutor going up against Trump and his 34 felony convictions, and he's allowed to do that for the highest job in the country even though many jobs won't consider you if you have even 1 felony conviction. It's laughable really; it would be hilarious if it weren't also so sad and ridiculous. You can bet anyone of color would not be allowed the same leniency.

A few days before Kamala became the presumptive nominee, my 16-year-old daughter told me she felt apprehensive about her future if there were to be another Trump presidency. I told her that I feel the same way for myself. I actually feel that way about anyone who isn't a rich, straight white male because those are the only people Donald Trump cares about - those who look and think exactly like he does. But then, Joe passed the torch to Kamala, and it seemed the country awakened to a clearly better alternative and someone even the independents could get behind. Suddenly, there was hope that maybe, just maybe, things would be OK after all. That same daughter then came to me, just a few days after our previous conversation, and told me she is no longer fearful the way she was before. My 14-year-old daughter echoes her feelings, and the both of them have taken a greater interest in the election as a result. My teenage daughters are inspired and can see themselves in Kamala, and that is huge for them and for me.

I don't care who you are; this is historic and a big deal. It takes an incredible amount of privilege to see all this unfolding and not appreciate how significant this is in our history. Not only are we on the verge of having our first female U.S. President, but she's also Black. Not only that, but she's smart, successful, personable, and damn qualified. I can't help but think of my grandparents and how thrilled they would have been to live to see Barack Obama become President and now Kamala Harris. We came so close to a female President with Hillary Clinton in 2016, and I pray the election deniers and complacent people don't mess it up for us this time. I honestly don't think we can survive another Trump presidency and come out the same way ever again. He's already promised to be a dictator on his first day back in office and has alluded to doing away with elections...neither of which we need. And we certainly don't need him. He only wants to be President to avoid jail time, point blank. We can't let that happen.

We have a chance this November to save our democracy and keep moving forward - to make a hopeful future available to everyone and not just the rich, straight white males of the country. We can do this, and I have to believe we will. This is a test we absolutely cannot stand to fail. I understand the assignment. Do you?

[lihhelsing]

Hate That I Loved You

Now complete on AO3!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 ↓

"Are you nervous?" Chrissy asks him as she fixes his hair inside the limo. Eddie smiles tightly at her. 

"No."

She rolls her eyes and Eddie lets out a long breath. 

"A little."

"Don't be," she says and Eddie is the one rolling his eyes now.

"Wow, Chris. Very helpful."

She pats his face affectionately. "Seriously, it's going to be fine. The music video is going to be a success, you're getting another grammy nomination and you're probably going to become the most insufferable person on earth."

Eddie lets his head falls back and closes his eyes, trying to get enough air in his lungs. The car feels stuffed and hot and-

"Hey. Just breathe," Chrissy says. She places her soft hand on his shoulder, but it's not the same. The voice is wrong and the touch is wrong and everything is just…

"I'm fine," he says and Chrissy frowns because she doesn't believe him, but she knows better than to fight him over it. 

"What are you worried about?"

"What I'm not worried about? I'm worried everyone will hate the video, I'm worried Lou is going to show up here even though I explicitly told him not to. I'm worried people will hate the music, say it's too much."

Chrissy doesn't seem fazed by any of that. "The song is not too much, the music video is perfect, we already ran pre-tests and everyone loves it, Lou is not getting anywhere near this place tonight and all security is aware of him and with clear instructions to get rid of him right away. Now. What's really worrying you?"

Fuck. "What if he shows up?"

"Lou is not-"

"Not Lou. Steve. What if Steve shows up?"

"Don't you want him to?"

Eddie opens his eyes and almost laugh at how confused Chrissy is looking right now. He's such a mess. 

"I don't know. I want him to. I miss him. I invited him. But he hasn't responded and I'm not sure if it will be worse if he shows up or if he doesn't."

Chrissy smiles then, and Eddie doesn't get it. It's not something nice or sweet. Eddie fucked up again, even when he said he wouldn't. He cleared the air with Steve. Apologized for being a jackass when they were together. 

Then Steve said he was happy, and Eddie couldn't possibly risk that. He couldn't risk going back into Steve's life knowing he could ruin everything again. So he took a step back, watched him as Steve noticed the change and he let him fucking leave. 

At least, this time, Steve was the one that left. It was all on him and if he also wasn't sure, if he was happy just how he was, then Eddie was glad he didn't mess it up. 

"Ok, here's the deal. You can't control whether or not Steve shows up. But you can control everything else. You can get out there and have a killer launching party. You can read the awesome speech I wrote to you and you can have fun with your band. If Steve doesn't show, then you probably have your answer."

"What if he shows up?" Eddie asks, hand pulling at a strand of hair anxiously. 

Chrissy bats his hand away. "Then you'll also have your answer, sweetie."

"But, like… What do I do, Chris?"

"You don't let him leave this time, dumbass."

Easier said than done. 

-

As soon as he steps into the red carpet, Eddie is a new man. He's still nervous, of course, but it's easier to put on the mask of rockstar Eddie who doesn't really care about anything when all those people are watching. 

He answers a couple of questions, takes a lot of pictures and moves along, waving at some fans that are standing outside and promising to come talk to them once the event is over. 

He walks straight on, doesn't look back. He sees the boys already there, standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for him so they can all go inside together. The place is amazing, there's food and drinks and everyone that's anyone is there. 

Eddie is ready. And then. Then he is not. 

"Eddie?"

He whips his head around. Wishes he could stop meeting Steve like that. Wishes he could prepare himself for the blow that it is to see him. 

He's beautiful. Looks like a dream in a fitted suit. 

But he's fidgeting with his hands, eyes a little glassy. He's nervous, looks like he's holding his breath while Eddie doesn't answer him, just stares, dumbfounded. 

Right. He needs to answer him. 

"Steve, hey," Very eloquent. "I'm… Surprised to see you here."

Steve flinches visibly and Eddie needs to keep his damn mouth shut. Before Steve can say anything or give him an excuse to bolt out of there, Eddie takes the steps he needs to get to him. 

Then, his voice is nothing more than a whisper. 

"I'm glad to see you here."

Steve blinks and his expression softens. 

"Thanks for inviting me. It means…" Steve trails off, his words getting lost somewhere between Eddie and all those people around them.

Eddie can see flashes going out and there's a part of his brain reminding him they are in public. He grabs Steve's hand. 

"Wanna get out of here?"

Steve looks taken aback. "You mean, go inside? Yeah, sure, I think we-"

"No, I mean get out of here. My car is still outside, I can take us anywhere."

It takes a second for Steve to process what Eddie is saying. He squeezes his hand and nods his head. 

"Yeah, ok."

Then, they are off, hands linked together as Eddie pulls Steve in the opposite direction of everyone that's getting on the red carpet. There's still flashes going off and he hears people calling his name but the only thing he cares right now is the feeling of Steve's hand on his and the certainty he's not going to let him leave again. 

-

The light of his phone illuminates the inside of the limo. Everything is quiet, Steve is pressed up on his side even though there's all this space inside the car. He reads Chrissy's messages that he's been ignoring for the past five minutes. 

'Where are you?'

'Eddie, seriously!! Pick up the damn phone!!'

'People are saying you left!!! where the fuck are you?'

His fingers are hovering over the keyboard when a new message comes in, the loud sound echoing through the silence. 

'that times photographer said you left with a mysterious man so either this is Steve and you're fixing things and I'm giving you a pass or you can get your skinny ass back here because you won't miss this premiere for a random hookup'

'just warn a girl next time! and use protection!'

Eddie locks his phone with a loud groan, and Steve chuckles beside him. 

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, Chrissy is just about to kick my ass when I see her again, but it's fine."

"We can go back," Steve offers and Eddie finally looks at him. The lights come and go as the car moves and Steve's eyes are still shining. 

"I don't want to go back," Eddie says and then, "I want to be here with you."

For some reason, that seems to be enough for Steve to snuggle a little closer to him. They don't talk much during the rest of the drive, but all Eddie can feel is how right everything is. 

- 

His house is big. He knows that, objectively. He doesn't even care that much, he mostly just likes that he has space for all his instruments, has a small studio for when he's feeling restless and enough space for the band to hang out and crash whenever they feel like it. 

He likes it because it feels like home, but the wide-eyed expression Steve is giving the house right now also makes him feel a little self conscious. He knows Steve doesn't care about that stuff, but it's weird to know Steve knew his uncle's trailer and now is seeing this. 

It makes him afraid Steve won't see him as the same person anymore. 

Eddie takes a deep breath and tugs Steve's hand until they are moving again, walking inside the house. He doesn't have a plan, doesn't even know why he brought Steve back to his place because if this is Steve letting him down easy, it's about to get really awkward. 

"Want something to drink?" he offers, hand still curled around Steve's, doesn't know if he knows how to let go. 

Steve shakes his head, eyes the couch and it's crystal clear. He wants to get this over with. Eddie can understand that. 

"Ok, so…" Eddie says when they are sitting down. They aren't holding hands anymore and Eddie misses it.

"Let me talk," Steve says in one breath. Eddie is a little surprised. "Can I go first? I just…"

"Yeah. yeah. Ok"

Steve flexes his fingers and bites his lower lip. 

"Ok," he says, resting his hand on the couch. Not touching. Is that a sign? Are things about to go badly between them? "You hurt me."

Ouch. Eddie flinches even though Steve's expression remains soft. His words are harsh. 

"I'm sorry, Ste-"

"I'm talking."

"Oh. Sorry. Go ahead."

"You hurt me. Back then, when you left. And then last month, when I flew across the country for you and you pulled back. I don't… I can't take it anymore, Eddie. I don't think I can handle getting hurt by you again."

Steve closes his eyes. When he opens them again, they are a little glassy like he's about to cry. Fuck. Eddie is not doing too good himself, and this is worse than he imagined. 

"But I also don't know if I can let this go. Let you go. It feels like we keep missing each other and doing things the wrong way and I don't want to do anything wrong anymore. I want things to be right and I want you."

Eddie blinks as Steve's words sink into him. He's not sure what he's supposed to be feeling but there's something shaped like hope trying to emerge from inside of him. He wants to grab it and keep it. 

"Steve, what are you-"

"I'm not done," Steve says and Eddie shuts his mouth. "I gave you the benefit of the doubt, you know? You pulled back after the shoot and I figured you were overwhelmed. Tired. Sad. Your jackass ex was there, you had to shoot for three days straight and the song is really heavy I just… I made excuses for you but I need to know, Eddie, because it's killing me."

There's a long silence before Eddie realizes Steve wants him to talk. 

"Sorry. I-"

"Stop saying sorry."

"Sor-. Shit. I mean… Fuck, Steve."

Steve keeps his face neutral as Eddie struggles over everything. He doesn't understand what Steve is saying and he's afraid to think it's what he wants because he never gets what he wants. Not when it comes to love. 

"You pulled back. You made me leave because it would make you feel better, to think this was my choice, but it was never my choice. It wasn't my choice when you left all those years ago, and it wasn't my choice last month. I would never choose to leave you, Eddie. Don't you see it?"

"But I keep hurting you!" he says because it doesn't make any sense. Steve shouldn't want anything to do with him. 

"And I keep coming back because I fucking love you and I hate that I love you. Still. After everything."

Eddie's heart is almost beating out of his chest and when Steve looks away from him, it breaks a little. He moves on the couch, closer to him, and his hand finds Steve's chin so he can tilt it in his direction. So he can look him in the eyes when he says what he needs to say. 

"Steve. Fuck. I know you don't want to hear it but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my egotistical ass hurt you. I'm sorry that I made you think you needed to leave and I'm sorry I left you. That was the last thing I wanted. I wanted you more than anything. More than music and fame and whatever. Things only make sense if you're here and when you showed up for the shoot… That's when I realized it. I need you. I love you. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize I never stopped loving you. Please, please tell me I can still fix this."

Steve blinks quickly, his eyes are a little wet and Eddie wants to run but he can't. Even if Steve tells him to go fuck himself, he owes it to him to sit there and take it. 

But instead of cursing him or pushing him away, Steve nods. It's almost imperceptible, but it's there. 

Eddie feels like floating away. "Can I kiss you?"

Steve nods again and Eddie feels like he's moving in slow motion. His hand cups Steve's jaw and pulls him in until their breaths are mixed. He's eager for the kiss but he wants to memorize everything about this. About Steve. 

How he closes his eyes and his eyelashes glow with the tears he was holding back. How he opens his mouth a little and licks his lips, waiting. How his hand grips the couch hard, as if he needs something to keep him grounded. 

Eddie's free hand finds his waist and pulls him until Steve is almost on top of him. He pushes his hair back, counts every freckle on his face and wonders how he lived without him for so long. 

Never again. 

Eddie dips in, lips brushing Steve's and heart hammering in his chest. The kiss is slow, sweet, soft, but it kicks in his muscle memory and soon he's giving Steve what he wants. Just how he liked it. His hand finds the hem of his shirt and he touches warm skin, hopes Steve will let him take them to the bedroom later. 

For now, he kisses him, and Steve kisses him back.

[hai7ani]

CHERRY BLOSSOMS haitani rindou

sfw, nothing happens

home collection | playlist

part ii / i just want you to take me where your heart is.

Rindou is having trouble falling asleep.

He's got a 10 o'clock with the higher ups first thing in the morning. Rindou vividly remembers asking his direct supervisor, Kimura-san on what the meeting is about as soon as he was notified about it.

He’s thought it through -- there is no reason for them to want to see him personally (he’s sure he’s never given them one), nor does he remember doing anything that might have seem out of line, or perhaps appeared a little too out of place in the company. A meeting of only him with the higher ups? It's scary even for someone like Haitani Rindou to face.

"That's exactly it, Haitani. You've been a bit too out of place lately."

Fuck-

"And by that, I mean, you've been showing off brilliant work."

" . . . Excuse me?"

Kimura-san chuckles and brings a wrinkled hand up to pat his junior's back as they walk side by side together through the long corridor that leads to the break room. Rindou fixes his tie out of habit and holds a sealed envelope tight in his hand -- the paper almost crumpled -- as he brings himself together to listen to his senior's words.

"You've been doing great, Haitani. Awesome performance, extremely satisfying work and you're very punctual. Believe me, I'm glad I chose the right person to nominate for this promotion. I've been watching you ever since you started working here as a clerk, and I have to say, I'm proud of you, boy. You've been working hard every day for . . . How long has it been? Five months? Your dedication is worth congratulating. Keep it up, young man. And don't worry about the meeting, it's all part of the promotion process. You'll be fine."

Though Kimura-san's attempt at comforting him worked that day, it certainly failed miserably today. It's less than 7 hours to when he'll soon be standing in front of a conference room facing the Chief Executive and his subordinates, and he doesn’t know why.

What if it goes bad and it's not the kind of meeting that Kimura-san said it would be? What if they're there to tell me I'm rejected for the promotion? Or even worse, fired and-

Rindou suddenly hears a certain conversation of Ran and himself echoing in his head. The loud yet timid 16 year old Rindou and the childish and arrogant 17 year old Ran, that is.

"Keep up that long face and I'll smack you right square, bro. I've taught you better than this. Stop doubting everything and believe it'll go well instead. Determination pays off, you know."

"Idiot. You think everyone in the world is capable of chasing a girl their first time? Especially someone like me?"

"Why wouldn't they? Why wouldn’t you? Look, I've made sure that she likes you back. Shion even told her about how you'd waited 2 hours for her to get off work jus’ to walk her home the other day. Trust me, shitty brother, she's definitely into you too."

"Shion did what?" "You heard me."

"And about that, of course everyone is capable, because I did it." Ran proudly flashes a hardcopy of him and a girl hugging with a cheeky grin. The older boy never misses a chance at showing off, especially to his younger brother who is absolutely sick of him. Rindou moves closer to get a proper look and immediately recognises her as the girl in Ran’s class he’s been courting for months. They’re high school sweethearts now? Unbelievable.

He scoffs at the older boy, "you really did it, huh?"

There’s a certain warm and proud feeling swarming in Rindou’s chest as he gapes at the lovesick grin stuck on Ran’s stupid face. It’s what he deserves, Rindou thought. Ran’s been through hell and back trying to court this girl.

Neither young Ran nor young Rindou knows that in 15 years time, Rindou would be calling Ran's high school sweetheart his sister-in-law and stealing recipes and life hacks from.

"Fuck yeah, dude. So like I said, just do it now or you'll miss your chance and regret it for-fuckin'-ever. Also, just for your information, 'cause I'm Haitani Ran and I'm also your big bro and feel the extreme need to tell you," Ran nods his head to the direction behind Rindou. "There's a guy hitting up your missus at the counter."

Rindou has never snapped his head back so fast.

He sees a man who's about a year or two older than him holding a piece of paper and pen to you by the counter, his mouth moving a lot and you’re listening intently.

Rindou immediately regrets not learning how to lip read.

Though he is certain the man must have said something out of line because he sees you adjusting the collar of your uniform and you’re biting your lip nervously. He knows you by your habits and by looking at that, he's sure you’re feeling uncomfortable by the man’s presence. Rindou wants nothing more than to smack the sly smirk off the man’s face right away, so he stands up.

He'll win this fight.

The loud creak of the wooden chair sliding against the marble floor catches your attention and you shake your head at him with a frown.

I’m fine.

Rindou understands that much from your eyes and sits back down again, with Ran who has an arm hooked behind the chair observing he situation with an amused smirk.

The idiot lives for chaos. "Maybe this'll teach him a lesson." Ran murmurs beneath his breath as he observes how Rindou's leg is bouncing anxiously against the marble beneath his shoe, watching you and the man like a hawk.

You have a soft smile plastered on your lips as you bow at him politely, rejecting his advances.

"I'm sorry, sir . . .

But I already have someone."

Lovestruck Rindou witnesses your pretty little face look away from the man to him. You with the pretty glint in your eyes, staring deep into his surprised purple ones and him who is now a blushing mess as he fakes a cough and push his round metal glasses higher onto his nose. You see his reaction and it almost makes you giggle but you remain collected as you try to get the man in front of you to leave the store, telling him you're not interested and you have to get back to work.

And it's when he finally does, all beat and ruined, when Rindou's legs moves over to the counter -- to you -- almost automatically. He stands in front of you and suddenly it’s blank in his mind. His mouth is ajar as he tries to remember what he's came here to say.

(Rindou to this day still argues and swears it was your overwhelming presence and especially your pretty smile that's made him forget his words while he fiddled with the hem of his black turtleneck like a damn loser.)

Come up with something, you idiot. Quick.

"Rindou-kun?" Oh, good fucking gracious. That voice. The sweet voice that will be the absolute end of him.

He musters up everything in him to speak.

" . . . D'ya wanna go out with me? For lunch tomorrow. I’ll pick you up and we’ll go together. Anywhere you want . . . As boyfriend and girlfriend, that is."

You're silent for a minute, and Rindou feels his heart race. It’s hot and humid all of a sudden and he feels like digging a hole and jumping right into it and he doesn't dare look at you and he’s afraid of what's to come. But you call for him again.

"Rindou-kun, please look at me."

The boy wipes his sweaty palms on the dark denim of his Levi’s 501 and chews on his lip. He's so nervous he's certain his mother would be making fun of him when she finds out. Unlike his brother, he’s never been good with girls and has never gone to this extent at courting one. Hell, he’s not even sure if he’s been this nervous before. He’s done loads of illegal things, almost landed his ass in juvie multiple times, fought countless of gangs (both big and small), and none of them could compare to what you’re making him feel right now.

You've got a very, very wide smile ready for him when he finally looks up.

“Ask me again, Rindou."

Get yourself together, prick. Be fair to her.

“Do you wanna be my girlfriend?”

.

.

.

"Okay."

Rindou thought he’d ascended into heaven.

Today, the same young boy who is now 31 in age and an expecting father, grins at the memory. He's glad he took Ran's advice the other day. As stupid as his older brother can be sometimes, Rindou cannot deny that Ran is always helpful when he needs to be. Always there for him. Otherwise, he wouldn't be having your worn out figure sleeping beside him in your shared bed, the beautiful band on your ring finger shining brightly at him as the moonlight shines in through the curtains he’s forgotten to shut before bed.

He stares at you as you sleep peacefully; the steady rise and fall of your chest indicating that you're feeling comfortable again. It's been difficult for you to fall asleep these days, the kicking getting harder and more frequent.

"She's so impatient to come out." You pout sleepily at the father of your child as you place a hand on your bump and rubbing slow circles, trying to get her to calm down in your belly. "Just another month left, my baby."

He eyes your stomach and leans down to press a soft kiss to the skin, suddenly feeling a kick to his lips and he airily chuckles. It’s almost like the baby in your stomach recognises him . . .

Her father.

"Don't kick your mom so much, girl. Be nice to her." Rindou tells his kid in his heart.

Another kick.

Brat.

You start stirring in your sleep. Shit. You're waking up after finally falling asleep and it's all because of the father and daughter that's ganging up on you. Talking together behind your back. Destroying your sleep.

Absolutely foul.

There's a frown on your face as you move around beneath the blanket, trying to get comfortable again when your husband runs his calloused thumb over the crease between your eyebrows, gently coaxing you back to dreamland.

It's then Rindou hears it another time.

"Stop doubting everything and believe it'll go well instead. Determination pays off, you know."

He reminds himself to give Ran a call when he wakes up.

Rindou has survived the 10 o'clock. It is now 12pm in the afternoon and he's standing in the middle of a fairly new and empty office room with a woman in her early fifties who he recognises as the Operations Manager, Hasegawa Keiko. Everyone calls her Hasegawa-san despite her constant reassurance that simply calling her Keiko is fine.

Rindou directly reports to her now instead of old Kimura. Although being congratulated and trusted deeply by the company, he still feels a bit strange, standing in an office room two floors above his previous one that now has a floor to ceiling view of Tokyo city. He's also been introduced to many new faces that he'll be working with from now on. No more shitty Ito flirting with Ishikawa-san in public and harassing him on going out for drinks or the really irritating habit of the woman clacking her nails on the desk opposite of him, but he supposes he'll adapt sooner or later. He will; Ran told him that he'll be just fine earlier on the phone. He believes in his brother (and you) more than anyone in the world.

"This will be your new office from now on. Feel free to take some time and explore around, make yourself feel comfortable with the environment and so on. And as always, you can ask me if you're unsure about anything. I'll be in my office most of the time down the hall if you have any further questions." The corners of Hasegawa-san's eyes crinkles and Rindou instantly feels more at ease at her warm welcoming. She reminds him a bit of his late mother.

"I'll leave you to it now. Looking forward to working with you, Haitani-san." And with that, she shuts the door behind her, leaving him alone inside.

The silence is overwhelming.

Rindou immediately fishes out his phone in the pocket, dials in the familiar digits he's long memorised and presses the gadget to his ear.

You pick up after the third ring.

"Baby? How'd it go? Are you okay?" He smiles giddily as he pictures the worried expression on your face and you’re probably sitting on the couch watching TV.

(Everything he’d pictured is exactly what you’re doing, by the way. You've also just finished two bowls of plain white rice fresh from the pot without yourself knowing due to how anxious you felt on behalf of him.)

Your husband simply brushes you off. "Whatcha doin'? Are you eating?”

"Answer my question, Haitani!" He laughs at your tone, "take a guess, babe."

"Well, I’on fuckin' know! That's why I'm asking you.”

He thinks of how to put his words into a statement without sounding too overly happy.

"I've got it, you know.”

You have big, red question marks hanging on top of your head as you wait for him to continue on the other line.

"The promotion . . . I've got it."

Rindou spends his lunch break on the terrace talking to you on the phone. He’s eating the bento you prepared this morning before he left for work. "Finish it, 'kay? The broccoli is expensive." You nagged, knowing how much he despises the said vegetable, but it's included in the new diet he's been keen on trying so he's fine with it. He has you to keep him on track, after all.

He picks up the miserable vegetable with his chopsticks and pushes it into his mouth. Jesus- He closes his eyes as he forces it down the throat.

"Fuck, this is so painful." He coughs when he finally swallows it. You hum from the other line, "what is?"

"The broccoli. Fuckin' hell."

"Sucks to be you. Broccoli's so delicious I don't understand why anyone even hates it. You're weird. Rin."

"Says the person who doesn't eat egg whites."

"Egg whites' got no taste. It should be inedible. It's disgusting."

"And I'm the weird one."

Rindou's been so immersed in talking to you that he doesn't hear the door to the terrace opening and closing. He thought it was just him there, considering everyone else has already went out for lunch and some still remained in their respective offices finishing up paperwork.

He doesn't hear the click of a lighter and cigarette paper burning behind him as he continues to bicker with you on the speaker about why egg whites are delicious and broccolis are not.

"Anyway, I've had 'nuff. I'll be confiscating your watch-Gilmore Girls-with-me rights tonight if you don't finish your broccoli. Your daughter agrees wit' me."

"You know damn well I never miss an episode.”

"Sure, we'll see. I've got clothes to fold now, mostly yours. Bye, weirdo."

"Have I told'cha how noisy you are, mama?" He complains and you laugh and hang up after Rindou reminding you for the third time to take your daily vitamins and wear your grippy socks. That's when the eavesdropper decides to make their presence known.

Rindou nearly chokes on his food when he hears a deep voice speaking behind him. "Your wife?"

He turns around with a mouthful of rice as he takes in the situation. Oh, it's him.

The man who he recognises as Sakoda-san is sitting on a chair with his hands tucked into his pockets, a burning cigarette hanging from his lips.

The same guy who frequents a whorehouse all the way in Kabukichō. Yeah, that one. The one who keeps a polaroid of his children in his wallet on the bedside table while he fucks other women in their rooms, telling them he loves them when he doesn't even mean it.

Saying things for the sake of saying it; Rindou doesn't like that.

He decides to keep his distance as he swiftly finishes the food in his mouth. Of course, he didn't forget his manners.

"Yeah, my wife."

Sakoda-san observes Rindou from the corner of his eyes. How the young man is feeding himself spoon after spoon of the bento, especially the broccoli while he scrolls through his phone, catching up on the latest news and watching random videos that appear on his feed.

"How far along is she?"

Rindou doesn't feel like replying. He's always been a private man who keeps matters to himself, but he thinks it's not fair to the baby in your stomach, his daughter, who he feels her existence should be made known. She's not a secret and shouldn't be kept as one.

"Roughly 8 months. She's due in September."

"A girl?" "Yeah." "What's her name?" "Sakiya." "Sakiya for cherry blossom?" "Yeah." "Your wife picked it?" "We picked it."

Okay, he decides this is as far as he'll go. He starts clipping on the lid of the bento and wiping his mouth with a napkin, ready to leave the terrace (of course he doesn't make it obvious) but Sakoda-san speaks again.

"That's nice. I have a girl too. She's 11 this year. And also a boy who's turning 6." Rindou simply nods and wraps up the bento in the fancy cloth you bought at a bazaar in Harajuku. "Would you like to see a photo of them?"

He stops moving. Rindou thinks of all the options, and the one he feels like picking the most is saying no and leaving.

But he shouldn't be cruel. As much as the man he's talking to is a bad person, a bad father, a bad husband, the children have done nothing wrong. He shouldn't be cruel. It's just an innocent picture of two young children.

"Sure." He agrees out of courtesy and Sakoda-san instantly slips out the polaroid from his wallet and hands it to him. Rindou takes and looks at it carefully. They don't look too happy in it.

"I always keep this with me. Gives me a little push in life, you know?"

A little push? To do all those things to his family?

Rindou is instantly reminded of the many ultrasounds of his daughter attached on the fridge with cute bunny magnets that he glances at every day when grabbing milk from the fridge before leaving for work. He figures that a little push in life contains different meanings to both him and Sakoda-san. It makes him feel sick to the core.

"Nice photo." He hands it back to the man after he finishes looking and stands. Rindou grabs the bento by the handle and is ready to leave, when Sakoda-san stops him once again.

"How good of a drinker are you?"

"I don't drink." Liar. He was fucking Haitani Rindou of Roppongi, for fuck's sake.

"Smoke?"

"I quit."

"Why?"

"Wife's pregnant."

The older man laughs at his blunt responses.

"Your life must be pretty boring, huh?"

Rindou doesn't look back at him when he mutters these words.

"At least I am not you."

It is now past lunch break and back to working hours that Rindou finds himself standing outside of Hasegawa-san's office. He has been for the past few minutes now, actually. Thinking about what to say and what to do; if she’ll approve of him or get pissed off.

He doesn't have the courage to go in.

Rindou had contemplated on keeping the topic away from his boss for now and simply bring it up another time, but he knows that it's not possible; it's only a short time away to when you're due and it’s also not fair to you either.

Finally, after making up his mind, he musters up all the courage in him to knock on the door. He waits for the faint come in and twists the knob.

"I was wondering when you'd come in."

Shit, it was that obvious?

Hasegawa-san closes the file she was working on and leans back in her chair while gesturing to the one in front of her desk. "Have a seat, Haitani-san." He immediately follows with a creak echoing in the room, not wanting to waste more time than he already has.

"You're nervous." It's not a question, it's a statement. And Rindou knows it as he feels himself growing hot and he coughs and sits up straight. "Sorry."

"What is it you're here for?" Hasegawa-san breaks the silence first. Rindou looks down at the half crumpled envelope in his hand, thinking a little before laying it flat on her table and pushing it forward with the letters on it facing her.

She stares at the envelope before swiftly opening it up to read. Rindou watches intently as her eyes go over the letter word by word, before finally folding the paper back to it's original form and laying it down on her desk.

You don't know about this, Rindou reminds himself as he waits patiently for Hasegawa-san to process his letter. You don't know about this, so he has to be serious. He has to be straightforward and sure. He can't be leaving you alone at this time because he doesn't have the balls to request for something that will mean the world to you.

The woman leans on her elbows and looks at him with an unreadable expression. He can't tell what’s going through her mind right now. Is it good or bad? Oh, she's squinting her eyes now. Do I need to say something? Fuck, this is so confusing.

"So, according to your letter, you will be away for . . . 2 months? That's a pretty long time. And it's your first day in this department."

The atmosphere is intense.

Thinking that he needs to speak up, Rindou pulls himself together and starts explaining to his boss.

"I know it may seem unacceptable, considering that I am just only in charge of this position. I am also aware that there will be no one to take over my duties when I'm away due to a short of hands, but my family is important and-"

"-tell me, Rindou." She cuts him off with a stern look. "How much does your wife matter to you?"

He doesn't hesitate in answering. It's immediate. Quick. Determined. Sure.

"Everything."

The tension in Hasegawa-san’s face loosens and she smiles. "Then there's no reason to further explain yourself. It’s all written clearly in your letter and letting you go to be with her is what a decent human being should do.” She pauses, “I wish my husband did that for me as well. I'm a woman too, so I know how it must feel to want her husband with her at this period of time.”

To say Rindou is shocked is an understatement. A higher up that doesn't ask questions? Doesn't make you wonder if your decision was right or wrong? Doesn't shame you for having different priorities?

No. It's not because she's being soft. It’s not because she’s biased. It's not because she doesn't care.

It's because she understands.

"I wish for her a safe delivery. Is it a boy or a girl?"

"A girl."

"How nice. I have three sons myself, I wish I had a girl too, to accompany me and so on. Boys grow up a lot faster than girls do." She laughs.

Rindou places both his hands on his knees as he lets out a breath of relief. Other than the meeting earlier today, letting his boss know that he will need to take some time off is also what's been clouding his mind for the entire week.

Your due date has clashed with the moment his work became much more serious and now he has to pick between the two: to stay with work and continue to fulfil his new duties and responsibilities while pouring his heart and soul into his shitty company or to stay at home and take care of you when everyone else is busy taking care of the baby.

And the answer is clear, actually. He'll never let anything, especially work, get between him and his family, and he's never let himself be placed in a position where he feels obliged to choose between the two. If he is, then you and the baby will always come first, no matter what, and he'll quit his job if he has to.

Letting Hasegawa-san know about this is just for him to find out if he has to quit his job to stay with you or not.

And luckily, he doesn't have to. Because Hasegawa-san is an angel in disguise and he feels so terribly relieved. God, he misses you so much. He really wants to go home and kiss you right now.

"You can go now. I'll sort things out with HR. You should take the rest of the day off, too. Go celebrate with your wife and spend some time with her. And please don't worry about work, I'll have a substitute soon for your position."

"Thank you, Hasegawa-san."

"You're welcome, and Keiko is fine. You remind me a lot of my second boy, by the way."

And you remind me of my mother.

"I'll see you soon, son. Take good care of your wife, yeah?"

"I will, Keiko-san."

You are in the midst of hanging up his clothes in the closet when Rindou arrives home.

"ただいま."

"Huh? Why are you home at this hour?"

He kisses your forehead and takes the hanger from your hand. He tells you to sit down and you listen and . . . Great. He's taken charge of hanging his own clothes now.

Rindou is always doing the chores whenever he can now that you're too pregnant to move around even when you insist to him that you can do it. "I like to move around, Rin. 'Don't like to sit around 'n daydream all day, it's boring."

"Boss' let me off early." He states nonchalantly and you raise a brow. You see your husband organising his clothes by colour and you suddenly feel some kind of warmth blossoming in your chest. Much to you and his brother's demise, Rindou used to be the kind of person who doesn't hang his clothes and just throws it in his closet when he's done with the laundry but that changed drastically when he met you. You always nagged at him to hang them up and sort it out by colour, by shirt category, so it'll look more organised and neat when he opens the closet.

"Why?" "I'll tell you later." "Why can't you tell me now?" "It's a surprise." "Huh?"

You're so confused.

Rindou is facing you now. "Have you showered?" You shake your head and remove the claw clip from your hair, scratching at your scalp. "Not yet. I needa' wash my hair, though. It's kinda itchy."

"I'll wash for you." He leads you to the bathroom slowly and helps you into the shower when you both are stripped off your clothes.

You're standing on the non-slip mat and adjusting the water temperature when Rindou joins you in the shower. "I'll take you out tonight. What'chu feel like eating?" He rinses through your body and you hum softly as he starts lathering shampoo on your hair. "Dunno, but I don't feel like eating something spicy, though."

"You want western?" You let out a sigh when he scratches at the itchy spot just above your ear, "sure."

The both of you don't speak after that, choosing to relish in the comfort of the warm water running down your bodies but you're suddenly reminded of it. Cheers to him for managing to butter you up successfully.

"Are you gonna tell me why you're home early?"

"'Told'cha, boss' let me off early." "Yeah, but why?" "I'll tell you over dinner." "You're pissing me off, Rin. Tell me now."

Okay, you're getting mad.

He's grown used to your mood swings over the course of this pregnancy and after so long, he's figured that the best way to deal with it is just by simply accepting it. It'll go away eventually and he should be patient with you and your emotions. After all, it's harder on you.

But he can't deny that it's a bit funny, though. You're getting mad at him because he won't tell you the actual reason he's home early while he's busy washing your hair yet you're purring whenever he scratches at a certain spot on your scalp.

"I got some time off. You know, when you give birth then I'll get to be home 'n take care of you 'n 'Kiya."

"Oh, so you're a romantic."

"Of course."

You feel so happy after listening to him that you turn around (slowly) and pull him down for a quick smooch. "Here's one from 'Kiya." And you kiss him harder this time, "'n one from me."

Rindou is dumbfounded when he looks at you who has literal hearts in your eyes as you hold his face in your hands like he's fragile porcelain, like he's some fine china. You run your thumbs over his cheekbones and pinch his cheeks.

(Doing that made you remember the times you liked to pinch his chubbier ones when you were still teenagers.)

"'Love you."

You with soapsuds in your hair proclaiming your love to your husband for the nth time over the course of 15 years (before and after marriage) and him with his fingers tangled in your hair as he continues scrubbing.

He smirks handsomely, "you tryna skimp out on the kisses, mama? I know my daughter ain't so stingy with 'em," he removes his hands to touch on your bump, "gimme one more, baby."

A kick.

"She jus' said no."

"She said yes, you brat."

You hold him by the neck and softly inhale the scent of his musky body wash that you've grown to find comfort in. He's so endearing that you don't want to let go.

You never want to let go of him.

Rindou lands two strong and assuring hands on your waist and keeps you close to his body.

"Quit sniffin' me, I still need to wash your hair."

You suck on his neck and he squeezes your ass in return. It's nothing sexual or anything, you just like sucking on his neck randomly and Rindou never passes up the chance to grip on your fat.

Some of the foam from your hair has gotten to his face and he simply washes it off with water, though you still don't let go of him.

"Never change your body wash, babe."

"I know . . . You tell me that every day."

Rindou is helping you pick out your outfit as you sit by the dresser doing your makeup. He's holding two dresses in his hands,

"Do you wanna wear this?”

Option A: a long red floral one that he bought for you while away at a business trip in Kyoto. He saw it while passing by and immediately stopped the car to cop it from the old lady. It wasn't for a special occasion or anything, he'd just seen it and felt like buying it for you and you haven’t got the chance to wear it until today.

"Or this?"

Option B: a shorter navy blue sundress that is obviously a little too tight and small for you right now.

“Baby, please. You know I can’t fit in that.” “I know. ‘Was just foolin’ wit’ ya.” “I’ll bite you.” “Go 'head.”

He lays the red dress down flat on your bed and plops down beside it, waiting for you to get ready. “I’m still halfway done wit’ the nursery. I’ll have more time to work on it now that I’m home.” Rindou says and you finish clipping on your right earring. “It’s just the crib and rocking chair left now, right?” You’re referring to the unfinished pieces of furniture that’s sitting in the nursery room next door and he hums as a response.

"Are we finished buying Sakiya's stuff? We can get the remaining later when we’re out. Settle it sooner, you know?"

“No, we’re finished. Ran ‘n Miwa have already bought tons for us.” You think of your sister-in-law who seems more excited for Sakiya's arrival than you, constantly buying you gifts like clothes and toys for the baby whenever she and Ran comes over for dinner together. “Auntie Miwa and Uncle Ran are so excited to see you, girl.” Miwa squeals as she touches your baby bump, feeling a soft kick to her palm.

“Ran is helping us save money now?” You laugh at his joke, “he seems enthusiastic to do so.”

In another city all the way in Ikebukuro is Ran in his home office sneezing with Miwa standing behind him massaging his back. “You’ve got a cold too? Everyone around me is getting a cold and it isn’t even flu season. I’ll have to stay away from you now, Ran. I don’t like getting sick.” She blabbers along and Ran simply hushes her down with a hand to her mouth. Miwa licks it and he retracts his hand away with a scowl, “you’re nasty, love. And you talk too much.” Miwa places a hand on her hip as she looks down at her husband like a mother scolding her son, “I’m not the one sneezing and at a risk of falling sick.” “It’s just Rindou talkin’ ‘bout me, wifey. I know it, I can feel it.”

Back home in Ueno is Rindou sneezing again. “Stupid Ran, he talkin’ ‘bout me too? Asshole.” “Huh?”

Neither Ran nor Rindou stops sneezing for the next five minutes and you and Miwa are left confused, wondering about just how strong these two brothers’ telepathy senses are.

You are actively ignoring your husband’s mumbling and cursing about stupid Ran this, stupid Ran that while combing your hair and Miwa isn’t even in the room with Ran anymore.

“Stop sneezing, Rin.” “Then tell Ran to stop talkin’ ‘bout me.” “Shaddap, you’re just makin’ things up.” “‘M not.”

While blowing his nose on a tissue you handed him, Rindou hears you humming along to a song playing on the radio and he instantly feels at peace.

He's home, you're sitting pretty on the stool, you'll be enjoying Western food together at a fancy restaurant downtown later tonight, and Sakiya will be here anytime soon.

Everything is calm and fine,

and Rindou thinks he will never be giving up this serenity for the world. He'll burn it up if he has to; if it guarantees his family forever peace and happiness.

There can only be his family.

His love. His heart.

reblogs are appreciated & i hope you guys enjoyed this! ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა

ending is a bit rushed cus idk anymore he's successfully rotted my brain and i have fallen onto my knees for this man

[imaginesbymonika]

“Shame” (Part 4)

A Pedro Pascal x fem!Reader fan fiction / someone else joins the story...

Plot: For the last four years, Y/N and Pedro have been dating in secret. The fear of rejection has turned them into a mystery that could only be encountered in yearning looks on red carpets or hands that are touching one another briefly. However, for the longest time, things have been working out that way just fine. But now Pedro's agency wants him to have a PR relationship with another woman and neither Y/N nor Pedro is sure if their love is going to survive that.

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, feelings of cheating, grief and eating disorders

Masterlist

She stares at Pedro from across the crowded room. That's where the two of them are, relationship-wise. She gazes at him like he is a tempting stranger in a bookshop. Melissa's hands are drawing circles on Y/N's boyfriend's back while she whispers something into his ear. A sigh leaves her lips, it feels strange to call him that. Even though it was true, he used to be Y/N's boyfriend… no, he still is her boyfriend, right?

"You're not seriously asking me that!" Y/N had no idea, what facial expressions Pedro was doing because her eyes were concentrating on the floor. On the black and white tiles, where there was a minuscule crack in one of the black ones right beneath her chair. Has it always been there? Like some bizarre fucked up foreshadowing, just waiting patiently to be discovered.

"Are you even listening to me?" All she has ever done was listen to him. She nodded her head. "Y/N. Please.", she hears how he moves closer and after a few seconds, he kneeled down in front of her:" Look at me, darling." She really didn't want to, because she understood very well that the moment she did she could no longer conceal her feelings. "I love you, okay? Nothing has changed."

And when she ultimately raises her head, she noticed it in his eyes. The first time she saw that emotion was when she first met his siblings. Pedro's oldest sister made this desert and he declared that he really loved it. That he would need her recipe and that he couldn't wait to eat it again someday. Late on, he told Y/n that he lied. Simply because he didn't want to hurt his sister's feelings.

Pedro didn't want to hurt Y/N's feelings. And she let him.

Y/N swallows thickly before she turns her whole body back around. "Is everything alright?", a voice asks from behind her and she figures that it has to be one of her co-stars. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine.", the y/h/ced woman responds, without looking at them:" I just thought that I saw someone that I know, but turns out I was wrong."

The man chuckles:" Happens to me all the time. Not only do I have a really bad memory, but my eyesight is super crappy. Which is just a poor blend of important things." Y/N wrinkles her forehead and turns around. Only to be met by two very kind-looking eyes. "Oh my- I am so sorry.", she hides her face behind her hands for a moment, before looking back at him:" I thought, that you were one of my friends. That's so rude of me." Y/N immediately holds out her hand for him to shake:" I'm Y/N." "Yeah, I know.", he states, and when he touches her a shiver runs down her back:" I'm Matthew Gray Gubler. It's nice to meet you."

And that's when she senses it. For the first time in a long, long time. Y/N doesn't have to turn around to know that Pedro's eyes are lingering on her form. Something about this situation makes her feel like a criminal, but truthfully, she couldn't care less.

"So, are you nominated tonight?", Matthew asks, and takes a sip of his wine. His eager gaze is not once leaving hers. She shakes her head:" Oh, no. But the show is." "Barry, right?", a laugh escapes his lips:" I'm sorry. Of course, that's the show. I'm sitting here, pretending I'm not a huge fan of it and- of course, you." Y/N bites in the inside of her cheeks, while she notices how his eyes move down her face. She clears her throat and he echoes it.

"Anyway.", he says and crosses his legs, while the lights in the room dim:" It was nice talking to you, Y/N. Good luck." She nods:" Yeah, it was. Thanks." Matthew only tears his eyes off her once the room goes completely dark, and there is this sensation in the pit of her stomach that feels so unbelievably sinful and good at the same time. God, she's in big trouble.

[jessiquinn]

unwanted jealousy (reader x Cable AKA Nathan Summers)

2022-03-07

Angst modern X-men one-shot... dumb but I was in a shity mood so here you go.

I'm trying not to be a perfectionist here, so it will not be perfect.

hope u enjoy it anyway.

----

"Listen, I'm not feeling well.. so please just leave me alone. " I tried to talk in a calm and collected manner to not trigger his anger issues.

that's the last thing I want to do..

"And that's why I'm here..." cable said with a stern voice... with his stand I can tell he won't be moving any time soon...

the thing is I've been feeling shity... or more so like depressed... but I hate admitting it, honestly... I'm an 'isolation' kind of person.

"cable. I'm perfectly fine, see. I've done all my duties. You don't have to worry about anything, " giving him my oscar nominated FAKE smile that fooled my family for years!

he knew, he's not an idiot but he chose to play a long for now as he can clearly see it's not a good time.

"yn... fine.. as you like" he just walks out.

That was weird.

The day passed on pretty quickly, and my favorite time finally came... 3am.

The time when everyone a sleep, and peace spreads through the mansion... the beauty of being alone.

I love being alone... it feels refreshing.. like you just want to go make a lemonade in the middle of the night or... a cheese sandwich then cut it..or justslitmythroatandfeelfineforonce

it's not like I'm a good addition to the team. Why can't I just leave... I don't get it.

They clearly showed me that they want me gone...

overthinking while I slice my cheese sandwich, proceeding to take a bite to suddenly face the last person I want to see...

domino... ugh...

"Not happy to see me?" said with smugness on her face.

At least she's smart for once, but what does she want?

"Do you need anything?" smiling professionally at her... we were still a team.

walking closer to my spot. "Hmm... I need a favor" as she swipes her finger on the counter... "See this thing... cable is... how do I say it, important to me... so... don't take it the wrong way, but.. you have to leave" said in the sweetest tone ever... not to lighten it up but to hurt me even deeper.

Every word she said leaked venom.

"I don't get it? what does it have to do with me?" I was already pissed. Domino, for some reason, always hated me.

"Come on now... don't play innocent" smirking at me like she knows something I don't.

"Now be a dear and take your remaining dignity - if there's anything left anyway... and leave" she thinks she's so smart, does she?

"With all due respect, Domino... it's none of your business, plus there's nothing between me and Cable. " I tried my best to stay respectful... but my patience is running out for sure.

she sighs "How about I say it in a different way? Get.the.fuck.out.of.her before I make" her tone as sharp as her words.

"This is an order. We don't want you here" I can feel her hate.. what did I ever do to her? at least she left the kitchen now.

putting the cheese sandwich down on the table, feeling like the darkness in me completely soaking my heart... her words really did not help... that's just...perfect.

heading to my room, I felt blind.

locking my bedroom door behind me, what am I supposed to do now? where do I go... is this really how they feel about me?

Next day

Domino wasn't happy to see that I'm still here but didn't dare to say anything... especially in front of cable or the team.

"Hey, come sit with us." As usual, Deadpool invited me over... he's the kindest guy.

I sat next to him as they were planning the next mission. It seems like I'm not included in the mission? strange..

do I even bother to ask, I guess.. in a way.. domino was right.

my aura was for sure dark, but thankfully, nobody can tell..

Acting is fun

"Don't take it the wrong way, but we only want two shooters,  having too many in this mission is messy," Domino said... I can see what she's doing, but my feelings are blinding me... she knows what's she's doing for sure.

"No worries" acting like it didn't bother me. "Just be careful out there." Despite her acts, I cared about the team very much... it's just sad how they don't see me useful to them...

"How about you come with us anyway!!" deadpool says excitedly. he must sense something... his eyes showed care for sure..

"No..it's fine."I reassured him... I didn'twant to be a burden or force myself into it.

"Wade, did I ask you to invite anyone in the mission?" I immediately took the message loud and clear.

Wade wanted to say something, but he was cut off by a yelling Domino telling him to get ready and follow orders.

I decided to go to my room as Domino pissed me the fuck up.

as I walked, I overthinked, which made me bump into a large figure.

Cable

I immediately apologized to him, I really didn't want to cause any more trouble than I already did... he just looked confused. "Not coming?" cable questioned..

"No, Domino said I'm not coming today." I was about to walk away, but he held me in place

"What?" smiling softly at him, to remove any kind of worry, of course.

"You're coming with me" held my arm as he dragged me somewhere...

"What's wrong, Cable?" I was nervous for sure... anxious even!

I swear, I got the message... I'll leave, alright.

he unlocks the door to his room and pushes me inside, I'm scared.

wait a second... THAT'S HIS ROOM.. I'M DEAD.

guns were certainly everywhere as I heard... fuck.

"Cable.. I'm sorry, all right, please calm down." At this point, I was hyperventilating.

Cable was for sure confused now, still proceeding to lock the door behind him. "I want to talk to you about something..." Oh shit here comes the... "I have to confess something, " he rubs the back of his neck. "I... like you"

"w-what" I was shocked.

is this a test?

"I like you," he repeated with much more confidence this time, "is this a joke?" I was really confused.

He sighs and tries to speak, but "Listen, I get it. You all want me to leave! but playing a stupid prank like this ain't worth it. just tell me to my fucking face!" I felt furious, offended to be lied to like this.

One thing I was sure lf is! my heart isn't a fucking game!

I wanted to leave already. This was too much! as I turn around to unlock the door... Cable was too close, slowly raising his arm, and once Again feeling scared.

caressing my face? how... is this real? opening my eyes to see him in front of my face.

with a push I was pinned... there was no escape.

"Listen to me, idk what gibberish you're saying, but I really do like you, in a deeper level" talking in almost a whisper as his low voice was already too much.

his eyes were telling me the truth...

------

if you like it please tell me!

[olderthannetfic]

First as a disclaimer: I'm pretty sure I'm not an anti (I'm anti death threats and am fine with incest, age-gap, abusive ships etc)

However I'm probably still a social/political enemy for various reasons but you sometime post asks from people you disagree with I think and I think you might know this answer.

Anyway onto my question I'm the kind of shipper who likes canon compliant ships and looking for hints and stuff but these days it feels like everyone boasts about how much their ships deviate and poop on canon etc. Do other shippers with my mentality still exist and I just don't notice them (Outside of anti spaces) or are we actually a dying breed?

--

Eh. I think "political enemy" has a pretty fluid definition if one is really into playing politics. If you aren't out campaigning on a white supremacy platform, we probably have some goals in common.

I usually block people for being extremely annoying on a day I'm feeling hormonal or for attacking people particularly viciously in my comments, not for nominally being in some other camp.

--

I think the more canon-adjacent fandom flavors are actually really common.

They're a little lost in the tumult of "My headcanon is actually canon!!!" stuff on tumblr that we like to laugh at on my own blog.

They're also less common in oldschool m/m-shipping spaces because those are often inherently non-canon ships. In the past, it was because homophobic censorship wouldn't let anything be made. These days, it's because the flavor of m/m a lot of people like is more easily found by adding romance to a buddy canon than by trying to add buddy-ness to a romance canon in many cases, and this can be true even if canon is original m/m aimed at fandom types.

Here's the thing: oldschool m/m shippers tend to be particularly prone to building community spaces and recording our history precisely because it's so easily erased and so often attacked. This type of shipper also tends to have more of a cohesive identity. That makes it far easier to name ourselves and set up little fiefdoms on modern social media.

I'm one of these people. Shittons of the people doing amateur fandom history work are. Much of the OTW old guard are. And lots of us know each other at least a bit, so if you're running into one of us, you're probably running into more of us.

--

However, that doesn't actually mean this type of shipping is the most common or that there have never been spaces devoted to something else.

That old Beauty and the Beast tv series with Linda Hamilton had epic canon shippers. So did Moonlight (the vampire tv series). So did and does Twilight.

A lot of these shippers had this as their first and possibly their only fandom and carried on being obsessed long after canon was over.

Lizzie/Darcy shippers put anything I have ever been a fan of to shame. No matter what the AO3 numbers show, this ship far, far exceeds the popularity of Destiel or any of the other m/m heavyweights.

--

I think the problem you're running into is that in the modern era of binging things on Netflix and regular joes being huge media geeks, analyzing canon in a nerdy way and obsessing over your canon ships is just how a big chunk of the population engages with media.

Fan theories that are closely tied to what was actually on the screen/page are the bread and butter of water cooler conversations and have been since The Sopranos and its ilk.

Yes, I know some fuck will immediately show up and go "Ahem, ahem, I am a GEEK and SPECIAL and the people around me never have intellectual conversations about media literally ever!!!!" just like every single time we have this conversation. But times have moved on, and being overinvested in canon theorizing just is a normie activity now, and that's great! Except when you want a special term and space to find your people.

The only time canon shippers really stand out from that is if they're extremely fic-focused, and then they often start straying farther from canon, especially if they stick around the same fandom for a long time. Either they start becoming more fans of some fic writer or they start wanting to diversify what they themselves are writing.

The really good close-to-canon fandom activities are at their best when lots of fans find the same currently-running canon at the same time and before canon itself passes its prime.

Even I started out on alt.tv.x-files, analyzing the shit out of season 2 and not caring much about non-canon things. (Though, admittedly, I was more NoRomo than MSR.)

--

That said, antis are not actually that canon-focused in most cases. They will do the "My headcanon is reality" thing as much as anyone. They just tend to spend a lot of time hating on explicit m/m and a lot of explicit m/m is of non-canon ships.

Honestly... anon... you might want to figure out what the latest CSI-ish franchise is and find the obviously-future-canon het ship from that. Those tend to get the 10 seasons of build up and fan theories that don't stray too far from canon.

This stuff is not only not a dying breed, but it's so common that one of the editors of NCIS delivered a deeply cringeworthy lecture at my film school about what "shippers" are and how the Tiva shippers affected the production.

People into those ships don't need tumblr: Major entertainment magazines are publishing their fan theories for them.

[onesidedradiostatic]

husk in any image with valentino is going for his throat i imagine. pan on pan violence. (sort of imagining husk as a spitting kitty cat now, with valentino holding onto a chandelier or smthin near a ceiling for dear life)

charlie, cherri, sir pentious, vox -- well the two in the middle are making out, while charlie and vox stand to either side not quite sure where to look, because they also can't really look to each other for solidarity. alt. charlie is cheering cherri/sir pentious on, vox isn't sure how he ended up on this picture and why alastor isn't there :(

see at first id think alastor, vaggie, and angel would be pretty chill in the same picture, seeing as angel has been learning Boundaries, but i forgot that vaggie -- while chill with alastor in the battle + final bit -- potentially does not trust this guy in the slightest, considering he's made a deal with her gf. so like. nominally chill picture. for now. rosie is also there

is lucifer the token straight in this setup? (i wrote that and then remembered adam, but tbh loser bisexual adam hcs have compelled me) (and then the host of people who are ??? in my head atm. velvette, carmilla, lute, zestial, niffty -- oh NIFFTY does strike me as potentially straight in a "housewife from a terrible marriage" sort of way) (lol accidentally wrote my way into a "what about the straights" corner somehow, love a show where everyone is queer until proven otherwise and even then...)

(reference to this)

LMAOOOO this is all very real. "vox isn't sure how he ended up on this picture and why alastor isn't there :(" I'M CRYING??!?????

velvette is definitely some form of queer to me, wlw or aro are all acceptable to me. carmilla, zestial, niffty idk. for lute I do actually kinda like her with adam so she's at least a manliker to me but also like the idea of her having had something with vaggie in the past, so bi/pan to me

honestly I'm fine with bi lucifer or token straight lucifer both work for me but I was speaking in terms of canon sexualities in my post (because if it wasn't just canon there would probably be more bisexuals LMAO. and rosie would be with alastor in the aroace section)

btw regarding the lucifer thing, they've taken it out now but at some point he was listed as straight on the wiki and I got JUMPSCARED bad

I think the idea of it is very funny though. yes the one who oversees the PRIDE ring. straight. also him being token straight of the hotel (unless you count niffty???) where like everyone else is queer in some way and he's wondering why he gets left out and charlie just has to awkwardly go over and say "ummm... dad. you're uh. straight!" "well. do I get a flag?" "errrrm. yes, dad! the um. straight.... ally flag." "wow! is that what the a in lgbtqia+ stands for?" "no. no dad. that's alastor." "the a in lgbtqia+ stands for alastor??????" "DAD. NO."

(this is of course all for the fun and giggles I am still fully in support of bi lucifer I just think token straight lucifer is also funny)

[beardedmrbean]

A Black actor recently spoke out against diversity hiring practices in the workplace, calling them an "insult."

In a lengthy post on X, formerly Twitter, Clifton Duncan detailed his story as an up-and-coming actor and how after 2020 he spoke with a friend who asked if he thinks being Black had anything to do with his success.

"That uncertainty gets to the heart of my issue with diversity hiring," Duncan wrote. "On one hand I'm certain I benefited due to my skin color. It's nice that people were looking to boost minorities like me. On the other hand people of all races have been in my corner since I was 16—long before "Wokeness" emerged. Everyone predicted I had a long career ahead of me, and I fulfilled that promise.

"And that's why I reject 'Diversity' hiring: I never needed it. It's an insult to any minority with a shred of self-respect. It casts a shadow over all I've done, because I'm not sure how much of my success is due to me, and how much is due to white guilt."

The post comes amid ongoing conversations surrounding diversity hiring practices that prompted an online argument between X CEO Elon Musk and Dallas Mavericks part-owner Mark Cuban. Musk recently criticized a diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) hiring effort made by United Airlines resulting in a response from Cuban and an ongoing argument between the two over the past few days.

In his post, Duncan explained that he earned a Master of Fine Arts degree "from the finest acting conservatory in the US," that accepts only 2 percent of applicants. According to his IMDB profile, Duncan attended Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond for his undergraduate degree and then was admitted to New York University's graduate program at the Tisch School of the Arts.

"I secured a great agent and was taking meetings with major casting directors before even finishing the program. Over the span of 10 years I managed to build a body of work spanning everything from musical comedy to Shakespearean tragedy," Duncan wrote. "I was working with stars, scoring award nominations, and winning praise from industry legends [including the late Stephen Sondheim—a moment I'll cherish forever]."

Duncan's IMDB profile shows he has starred in the 2020 film Estella Scrooge: A Christmas Carol with a Twist, and several shows such as The Good Fight, NCIS: New Orleans, Elementary and Proven Innocent.

Newsweek reached out to Duncan via email and social media for comment.

[hooked-on-elvis]

okay, hiiii! so ahem, I’m not too sure if you’ve watched elvis’ “stay away, joe,” and if you haven’t you really should. although it’s kinda…iffy, he’s so damn fine in there 😮‍💨🫠

I’m really curious about one of his ladies in the film! Quentin Dean, do you know anything or any info as in if they’ve had a bond, or any outtakes?

She randomly popped into my head after watching the wh0rehouse scene in the ‘68 comeback, bc susan henning lowk looked like her in it?!?! lol I think it’s the bangs or sumthin’

But please and thank you, I gotta know!

Hi, Lexy! I'm so, so sorry for taking so long to answer your question, dear. Thank you for reaching me out for information on Elvis' movies, I feel honored you'd think of me for this, really. If there's something I love to talk about, concerning Elvis' career, this is it, his movies — even if it's not always I am lucky finding satisfying info on them, like in this case. 😣

I've spent a long, long while trying to find anything about Quentin Dean and her relationship with Elvis during making of Stay Away Joe (that's why I took so long so answer you) - from Youtube videos to movie magazines articles, but unfortunately I still haven't.

Strangely, Quentin Dean retired pretty quick from Hollywood, after only 4 movies done and very few one-episode appearances in some Western TV shows.

Her acting career (TV and movies) lasted from 1967 to 1969, two years, and it's just bizarre since she was nominated for a Golden Globe Awards for Best Supporting Actress due to her first role on the big screen on the Oscar winner movie (Best Picture) 'In the Heat of the Night' (1967). This movie was released the same year Quentin filmed Stay Away Joe with Elvis (filmed from October 9 to November 27, 1967, released on March 8, 1968).

Quentin Dean prepared for her screen test for the Academy Award Winner movie In The Heat of the Night (1967).

Curiously enough, other than the movies, one of the few TV shows Quentin worked on was The Virginian, created by - guess who! - Charles Marquis Warren, director/producer/screenwriter of Charro! (1969 *updated for minor correction on date -- 'Charro!' was filmed during July and August of 1968 and released in 1969*). Quentin appeared in only one episode of that show, but even so, why would she give up her acting career so fast? She surely had good network in Hollywood... that's just weird. What's worse is that it seems she rarely gave interviews during her acting career and/or denied interviews after retiring from Hollywood, which would explain why her interviews are so hard to find.

1968. Quentin Dean as Saranora on The Virginian (TV Series, 1962–1971) S7. E1 "The Saddle Warmer".

I really tried to find any interview with her, and there must be some, but with a career as short-lived as hers the journalists' interest for details on her acting career is not that big, therefore there aren't modern articles online (that I have put my eyes on) and the existing vintage 60s printed ones weren't scanned and shared online so far, I suppose. 😣 What a shame!

I am confident (or just hopeful) there must be some kind of information concerning her work relationship with EP in books specifically dealing with Stay Away Joe making of, such as "Elvis: Behind The Scenes Speedway & Stay Away Joe" by Erik Lorentzen. I haven't read this book yet, unfortunately. I'm so sorry for not being helpful for now, dear. I tried. I wish I knew something. :( If any friend reading this have already read this book and know something helpful, please, feel free to share what you know with our community. ♥

Well, since we're talking about it already, if you ask me I'd say Elvis and Quentin had a pretty good professional relationship but not as close as Elvis and some of his other leading ladies had. This is pure speculation on my part, but I have a reason to think so. This if one of the movies Elvis did (this one and 'Kissin' Cousins', maybe a few others too, not sure) that Priscilla -- as well as some of the wives from the Memphis Mafia guys -- was right there watching Elvis work in the filming set. I'm not implying Elvis would have had any intimate relationship with Quentin if Priscilla hadn't been there on the filming set or anything but, speaking on friendship matters, it makes sense Elvis would have spent more of his time on set, during breaks from filming, with his gang than with the other actors. Not sure but if so, Quentin wouldn't have many opportunities to get better acquaintance of him, I guess she wouldn't have much to say about him as a person because of this.

What I can say is: below is a "behind the scenes" picture [on the right], not a publicity shot for what I've read. Judging from their faces, Elvis and Quentin had fun working together. ✨ I know, I know... this is not specific but this is what I can share for now.

I'm gonna keep trying to find some information about Quentin's career, and hopefully on her accounts over working in Stay Away Joe. I really wish I could understand why her acting career was so short and what she has done afterwards in her life, so maybe in interviews she shared something about it.

For now, I'm humbly gonna share some of the pictures of Stay Away Joe. And, yes, I've watched it! I've watched all of Elvis' movies.

Stay Away Joe didn't catch my heart at first but little by little it grew on me. Now it is one of my favorite Elvis movies, even tho I still think it's an extremely noisy and a little messy-looking movie too. LOL. Even so it's a good movie... here and there I re-watch it. ♥

Elvis Presley (Joe Lightcloud), Joan Blondell (Glenda Callahan), and Quentin Dean (Mamie Callahan) in Stay Away Joe (1968)

And, to make all of us a little happier, our man:

Stay Away Joe (1968 released, filmed in late 1967)

[the-technicolor-whiscash]

Starliner finally landed (with the crew remaining on station to return home on a Dragon in February) so I am desperately hoping that its return to earth stops the comments from people who don't know anything about the situation who are like "there's astronauts stuck up there how can they do that to them!" Easily. It's part of their job.

I watched the entire reentry including undocking and deorbit burn through landing and first of all they gotta throw some cameras on that bitch next time. SpaceX puts cameras on everything even the shit that sucks so you can see their Starship falling apart in real time. This was (as far as I can tell I cant speak for what the inside of the spacecraft looks like) a nominal reentry and honestly the fact it lands on land is pretty impressive. It touched down really smoothly. When you're used to splashdowns where they look like they're hauling ass, it's quite the difference.

I've followed this spacecraft's journey from the first scrubbed launch all the way through its landing and I gotta say. A much longer ride than I anticipated. But beyond fascinating and historic to experience. Like, it was the first manned test flight to include a woman. It was the first manned launch on an Atlas rocket since they launched Gordo Cooper on MA-9 in 1963. It's the first American-made human rated capsule to land on land. And its time in space has shown NASA's dedication to the safety of their astronauts as well as the skill of their teams in finding creative ways to solve difficult situations.

It's a spacecraft not without ills, made by a company where the only reason why they haven't succumbed to lawsuits is because they kill whistleblowers and make blood money off of wars. But it shows you a fascinating window into the extremely complicated process of bringing a new human rated capsule into the space zeitgeist, and shows how we've learned from previous tragedies how to tread lightly in the water. It in and of itself is a learning experience for everyone involved - NASA, Boeing, and the general public. This was a shockingly public-facing PR disaster for Boeing and for NASA, to the point where even people who know nothing about the current space industry were talking about it. And because of that, misinformation was running absolutely rampant. People on Twitter were genuinely scared for these astronauts when really, there was nothing to be scared about, especially not when they're already on station.

NASA is big on redundancies when it comes to space flight - redundant thrusters, fuel cells, astronauts, etc. And after the shuttle fleet was grounded from the Columbia tragedy and their astronauts had to return on a Soyuz, NASA realized the importance of having more than one space transportation system for low earth orbit missions. That's why we have the commercial crew program. That's why we don't want to just have Dragon, that's why we want multiple options for if one goes out of commission. There are backup plans on top of backup plans. I'm sure if the Crew 9 capsule fell through, we probably could've sent Butch and Suni home on a Soyuz, and they would've been perfectly fine. Once you're docked on the station, you're able to have options. It's getting there and back which is the problem.

Anyway. That's my two cents. I think it'll be interesting to see now that Starliner's returned what they'll discover about how it was affected by its extended stay in space.

[avelera]

So "Doctor Faustus" already being out by the time Dream came by in 1589, is...uh, possibly a bit fudged for the sake of the story in Sandman, but I'm thinking about Hob canonically calling bisexual legend Kit Marlowe a great playwright, and the fact that Doctor Faustus is literally about a handsome demon seducing a more or less normal guy into selling his soul in exchange for an extraordinary life, including temporary immortality during the agreed 24-year span (including a scene where Faustus survives a murder attempt and holds his own severed head in a scene that I'm sure made Hob fuckin' blanche wondering if his secret had gotten out).

And I'm also thinking about how there's a strong running theme in "Faustus" of Mephistophilis steering Faust away from getting married. There is no Marguerite (Faust's wife in other versions) in Marlowe's version of the story which is really interesting. Especially because there's a rather strong whiff of jealousy (especially with Arthur Darvill's performance) around Mephistophilis urging Faust away from marriage, saying he'll bring him fine courtesans, or even (eventually) Helen of Troy instead, but definitely don't get married.

And I'm also thinking about my (and others') emerging fanon that Hob had his own written-or-unwritten fanfic of Faust x Mephistophilis that was heavily based on his own fantasies around his dark and mysterious stranger who gave him immortality. ("This could be us, but you keep fuckin' leaving after 5 minutes...") and a thought occurred to me.

So it's really weird that Hob just happens to get married within a few years, at most, of his 1589 meeting with Dream.

Now, my main assumption around this, Watsonian/in-universe, is that Hob wanted to demonstrate success to his stranger. So within a few years of the 1589 meeting, he looked at the date and went, "Oh shit, if I really wanted to show off I should get married and have an heir on the way, that's the true mark of success in my era!" (Which, of course, Dream is spectacularly unimpressed by and/or projecting his own miseries onto Hob's inevitable despair once they die.)

But now I'm thinking about "Doctor Faustus" and also kind of wondering... timeline fudging aside where he could have conceivably seen the play (or some early version of it while Marlowe was writing it) and if that could lend to a slightly alternative reading of why Hob was in a rush to get married before his meeting with his stranger?

Either:

My tall dark and possibly-not-the-Devil-then-again- the Devil-could-just-LIE stranger is coming. Faustus in "Doctor Faustus" passed up on a chance to possibly have his soul saved by not being married. So it might be a good idea to be married just in case, y'know, for the sake of my soul and so I'm not tempted by being single.

(The more Dreamling-shippy one) My tall dark and handsome stranger can't possibly be interested in me. In fact, it's kind of pining and pathetic to still be nominally single when he comes by, especially after 200 years. Talk about desperate. Maybe it's better if I'm married, that way I don't look desperate and it's not like he'd ever be interested, right? But if he does seem annoyed that I'm married, I will have definitely learned something.

Only for Dream to peace out of there almost immediately upon meeting happily-married-Hob.

Now, do I think canonically that Hob was sort of testing the waters by getting married? Not especially cuz it's an ass-backwards way to go about it, if it was a consideration at all, I'd see it as more hedging to the tune of not looking desperate, rather than trying to make Dream jealous or anything.

But I would bet (or at least put in a fanfic) that Hob added the fact that Dream did not seem especially enthused about his marriage into his little mental list of "Maybe? But surely not. But maybe?" as it emerged around, say, 1789 along with all the other later evidence of possible interest.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

It surprised me to see many armys taken aback by the lack of nominations for jimin in some (I think) american and/or european awards, and I don't even think those awards mean anything at all, that's not the point, but I think this is the first time I've seen so many armys (and not only pjms) talk about a jimin-centric issue without trying to ot7fy it. Because let's be honest, no one was expecting the rest of them to be nominated for any western award (and that's fine because, again, those awards mean nothing at all to me) but I feel like there's a growing collective sentiment, or more like more people are starting to realize that jimin, THEE Park Jimin, is meant to occupy a larger space than he was given and that he's being purposely pushed back. I know it's been months, and it's pointless to keep ruminating on the past and what could have been, but now that even army is starting to notice, I can't believe hybe can't see how badly they fumbled the bag, right?

I can't really comment on the spectrum of reactions across the fandom because I didn't go looking for this specific thing, but what I can do is share my thoughts and the issue can be explained very easily (in my opinion)

Jimin has promoted his songs and album release in South Korea through various means, including his participation to several music shows for which he won as well. In this case, his future presence at end of the year award shows is almost to be expected and I'm sure it will happen. I think the k-pop industry is much better at this type of recognition for the work idols do throughout the year and it's a platform for some spectacular performances.

At the same time, Jimin also promoted in the U.S, albeit at a much smaller scale, since that wasn't his go to market for reasons that I won't speculate here. But, as a result of his comeback and his fans' reception of the album and LC, he has made an achievement on a U.S platform that is used as one measure of success, aka, the Billboard Hot 100. Not only that, it was historical given that he was the first SK solo act to achieve No. 1. By simply having that achievement in the U.S market, he qualifies for U.S music awards, the same as other artists from SK who are nominated and which had less achievements, but that's another topic I'm not interested in talking about right now.

Nevertheless, in that case, Jimin and LC should have been at least submitted. As of now, it looks like the label didn't go further and acted in their capacity, which lead to Jimin's absence from nominations, including the K-Pop categories.

I think these are the facts that we know or at least this is how the situation is coming across. As for the reason why it happened, I find myself asking the same question. Not because I'm desperate for Jimin to have the same career trajectory as everyone else or to push for the U.S market, but because in this particular case, he qualified for the nominations. It's as simple as that. And if I allow myself to speculate a bit, I think the option of Jimin not being interested or that it was his choice sounds outlandish, given his excitement when SMFpt.2 debuted at no. 30 and the heartfelt message he had when LC had its debut. Regardless of any other debates about kpop and the U.S market, for some it is still seen as an achievement and something to be proud of and Jimin was, in his typical humble and elegant way.