#like the truth is that i genuinely need to trust any fear i have about feelings being unrequitted and gtfo immediately

[lunaelume-n]

want to know where the hannibal fans are that have an ugly past, that can’t always relate to knowing they’re really a good person inside. want to know where the hannibal fans are that struggle with terribly intrusive thoughts, that have acted immorally and have been genuinely unsafe or unhealthy for others, even others who were innocent. want to know where the hannibal fans are that grew up deeply questioning everything about reality to a disturbing level, and how isolating that felt. fans that struggle with feeling very angry and hurt, or just feeling their feelings all the time. if not feeling, analyzing everything, all the time. the fans that can’t always relate to being the victim of the story, but the person who’s done harm too. want to know where the hannibal fans are at that have genuinely wondered if something is severely wrong with them, and not because of their admiration for the show, but because of the ways they’ve behaved, things they’ve thought or said, interests they’ve had, but also because you grew up feeling less included than you’d like, so you just feel more odd than most, maybe even doomed sometimes. this show is a helpful tool in observing myself more objectively, and i appreciate that because i’ve been able to learn when to step back and let go, on top of applying other coping mechanisms i have. i do feel isolated in this fandom sometimes because while i know i am not my past and my mistakes or my struggles, i see many people online that i feel might not have strayed too far the way that i have, and while i have a general grasp on reality and morals, and i’d never intentionally act out of line with those morals now in my life, i have in the past, and i’ve been wrong, unsafe, and cruel. i’ve been able to reflect on myself and grow, so there’s comfort in that, but there’s still also the worry of “what if i am alone in this?” knowing how unlikely that is, given how many people are in the world.

[lover-official]

.

[whackk-kermitt]

Confessing Your Love

Genre: Headconons

Warnings: Cursing(Brok..)

≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪

Kratos

“Hmm,” followed by a slow nod.

He wouldn't say anything immediately.

He will just kind of look at you, studying your eyes.

He doesn't want to take chances.

Man has trust issues!

Telling him you love him will make him so happy yet so scared.

You wouldn't be able to tell.

Eventually you'd hear, “I love you, as well.”

He'd immediately ask you to move your things to his home if you haven't already.

He loves you, so you need to stay close so he can protect and provide for you!

He'd start to find more excuses to touch you and you'd laugh telling him he doesn't need them.

Eventually, he will be comfortable enough to walk up to you just for an embrace or smooch.

Mimir

Before his head got..you know.. His first instinct you be to turn to you completely.

“Really, Las? An old man like me?” He'd laugh but he'd offer to do something romantic.

Smartest man alive, but he never saw that coming.

Either way he’d swear his loyalty and heart to you.

Anything you want, he's on it.

After his head…

He'd probably hesitate to return the sentiment, no matter how genuine it is.

“I- I can't offer you much, Las.” He’d frown.

He'd feel inadequate, and undeserving- he's just a head after all!

What could he give you in terms of love and affection?

After telling him his company is all you desire then he'd probably think you've gone mad.

But after a while of talking about it he'd smile and say it back.

You'd carry his head on your belt during travels throughout the realms after.

Giving him kisses on his cheeks and forehead.

It's simple and innocent devotion and its loves that he's enough for you.

Atreus

Telling Arteus you've got a crush on him would probably make him completely freeze and go red.

I'm talking his fathers tattoo red!

Lots of stuttering and blushing while you guys talked about it.

He wouldn't really know what to do or say afterwards.

But no doubt he'd eventually be able to get it out that he likes you too.

He's never done any of this before, so he'd probably go to Mimir or Freya for advice.

If and when you ever hold his hand or hug him his palms get sweaty and he gets nervous.

But he's happy to oblige!

He thinks your so cute.

Talks to his dad about it.

He's shy, but after a while of spending more time hanging out with you he’d get cocky and try to show off and impress you more.

Half of the time he’ll be trying so hard he just ends up looking silly or just straight up stupid.

But you laugh it off and tell him how cute and sweet he is.

He's whipped.

Freya

No matter how comfortable she is around you, no matter how safe you make her feel, she'll hesitate.

As soon as you tell her you're in love with her, she'll need room away from you.

In every relationship so far, she's been to much or not enough.

The woman is hurt and healing.

She's scared its not the truth, like with Odin.

Or if it is, and you truly love her, then what if she messes it up?

What is her love is to much for you and you leave her?

Or what if, out of fear of being too much, she’s not enough- and you leave her? 

Freya can't take another heartbreak.

But after seeing how understanding you are of her past, and reassuring her worries that you're not going anywhere she's willing to listen.

You'd tell her that it doesn't matter if she loves you the same way, or another, as long as your with her its enough for you.

And hearing that would be enough for her.

You'd have to take things slowand steady with her.

But she is so very much in love with you.

She will make sure you both set boundaries to keep her from going to far and pushing you away.

She doesn't wanna lose you too.

Brok

“Well it's about fucking time!”

He's so cool and sure of himself on the outside, so he'll play it off like he know you loved him.

But really he's surprised.

He's not the most romantic man, but he'll give it an honest try for your sake.

He’ll get flowers and sweets for his lady.

Most definitely start bringing about you to everyone he meets every chance he gets.

He's very standoffish when it comes to affection.

So any time you give it to him he'll stutter just slightly and awkwardly reciprocate it while he gets used to someone being infatuated with him.

Very defensive and protective is anyone makes comments about you two.

“Mind your business, you unfuckable drauger-looking bastard!” 

Very confident on the outside, very unsure on the inside.

He's worried he's not doing it right but all he needs is you smiling at him the way you do and he'll be just fine. 

Sindri

Congratulations, you broke him.

His initial reaction is giving O.O

Wide eyes, red cheeks, mouth open.

He'd stutter for a response and get frustrated with himself for losing his voice for a moment.

Give him some time and words will just start spilling out.

He loves you, that was no secret to anyone!

He’ll tell you all about it when the air come back into his lungs.

He’ll go on and on about how pretty you are, and amazing, and how much he likes your smile.

Lots of nervous chuckles and shy grins from this man.

He hates when people touch him, sorry to say you're no exception.

But you figured you wouldnt be; at least for now.

However he is willing to hook his pink finger to yours every now and then as a very small step in the direction of hugging you.

Having you love him really makes him frustrated with his thing with germs and dirt.

He’s never had a problem with it before.

But now he wants to hold you and be held by you and the thought of it makes him shiver in disgust.

It's a fear he's willing to conquer if it means one day he'll get to see the smile on your face when he holds you with out gagging for the first time.

You know better then to take offense; it's nothing personal.

He gags at everyone. 

Tyr

He didn't see it coming.

But he had hoped..

It was a happy surprise when you blurted it out while spending time with him while reading.

He gave you a soft smile after the shock settled and returned the sentiment .

Not much had to be said between you two after that.

The only thing that really changed in the relationship were beginning to sit closer together and a lot more gentle touches.

He'd rest against you while you braid his hair, and he'll braid yours.

His eyes have always laid on you softly, but there's something more in them when he looks at you now.

Contentment.

He’s happy to share any moment a with you that he can. 

Heimdal

He knew.

He knew you loved him for a while.

He knew you wanted to say it.

The cooky little shit just waited and waited until you did.

He wanted to hear it.

But when you approached him and said you loved him it felt different then he imagined it would.

He knew you, and he saw in your head that you truly meant it.

He knew you loved the good, the bad, and the ugly in him.

He knew that unlike the other people who have claimed to love him, you didn't think ‘i can change him.’

He saw the unsure insecurities in your head and body language that he wouldn't feel the same way.

After all, he reads minds, and he knew what you felt all this time and never addressed it so clearly he wasn't interested, right?

To be honest, up until that point he hadn't really considered your feelings despite knowing them.

You had told him you loved him, but you had only said it so he would tell you what you believed he would- that he doesn't care.

You had only said it so he could break your heart, and you could get closure, and hopefully move on.

It twisted his gut that you were walking into this fully believing you would be turned away.

He saw in your head that you had already been crying over it.

But that's not what he wanted, so instead being sarcastic or rude like he would be with literally anyone else he smiled at you.

“I know.” He said softly.

Thor

“Good for you.”

He's not really interested.

Plus he's still married.

So piss off.

Not proof read.

•Kermitts Masterlist•

[elysiansparadise]

Heyyo !! Hope you're doing well. I have a question if are going continue your planets in houses series for 8th House moon

Hello! I’m doing just fine, I hope you too. Of course I will continue, until I’ve covered each placement. 🤎 

Moon in the 8th house

They are people of complex nature, since many of them tend to be very cautious when it comes to opening up to new people, they do not trust their hearts so easily in others and they can even show themselves as very self-sufficient in the emotional field, however, these natives internally desire a deep degree of emotional intimacy, even bordering on emotional. They prefer intense, meaningful ties that really contribute something to their lives rather than something superficial and vain. This is usually something difficult for them because it is difficult for them to open up and want to meet new people. This is due more than anything to a fear of appearing vulnerable, manipulable and, mostly, due to bad experiences with previous relationships. It’s likely that the relationship with the family, mother or a specific member was tense and taught them to always be alert for any sign of lying or betrayal. They detect people who show false emotions or who lie, as they stand out for being observant. They may prefer to make decisions based on their mind rather than their heart, and it is likely that at some point in their life they ignored their emotional needs, both other people and themselves. They fear that they will feel a lot and get hurt or that the other person will not give themselves in that devoted and passionate way with which they do it.

For them it is crucial to give their all when it comes to something important or meaningful to them, they do not give themselves halfway. They find it difficult to be expressive, but once they are comfortable enough they are very constant with their demonstrations of affection or appreciation. They have this ability to feel the emotions of others and tend to accurately deduce the emotional triggers and needs of others. They have a genuine curiosity to know the core of those who matter to them, they will want to know every part of your mind, your history and everything that your heart is silent about, this in order to understand you better. In the sexual field, they need a certain emotional closeness or feeling in love to fully enjoy. A pretty face is not enough for them and they tend to be very attracted to complex, interesting and understanding personalities. They give themselves completely, body and soul, and there is nothing they like more than feeling that their partner does the same. Aftercare is crucial and necessary.

They know how to be alone and highly value their time with themselves, they are introspective with their emotions and they like to get to the root of things. A lie can be something unforgivable for many of them and they will always prefer a very honest truth over a white or sugar-coated lie. Their intuition is very strong and they may feel an attraction or even have a knack for things like tarot, astrology or similar things. They read you like a book, but you can hardly do the same with them. They have a deep connection with their unconscious. It is likely that since they were children they have had very intense spiritual experiences and that the mystical world seems truly fascinating to them. They have one goal [among their many goals] to become the adult they felt they needed when they were children, since it is likely that their inner child carries a feeling of fear and insecurity. They are people who behind their strong and empowered personality is someone sensitive and compassionate. People often see them as a very strong pillar in which to fully trust, and it is likely that only the natives themselves are aware of their emotional intensity, as others describe them as calm and collected most of the time.

-> Go back to the masterlist

[tainsan]

misfits XI

⇥ pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

⇥ warnings: mentions of suicide, mentions of therapy, self deprication, mature scene but it's not crazy

⇥ word count: 9.5k

⇥ a/n: okay i know you have all been looking foward to this chapter, it is an intense one and i hope yall finally enjoy some much needed romantic tension ;-;

⇥ this chapter is for my wife @l0vetiny, ilysm!!!

⇢ masterlist ⇠

previous chapter ⇠ ⇢ next chapter

--- THIS IS AN 18+ FANFICTION MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ---

Resting in your room, you stand at the crossroads of your emotions, torn between the familiarity of cherished friendships and the allure of a potential romantic relationship. The idea of taking that leap excites and terrifies you, as it means venturing into uncharted territory with people you've known and admired for years.

Whenever you look at your group of friends, you can't help but feel a tinge of envy towards their popularity. They seem to effortlessly navigate social situations and grab attention wherever they go. Would you be able to handle the spotlight that inevitably comes with being associated with them in a romantic capacity? You know about their jealous fans, and the attention you would most definitely receive upon starting a relationship. Not to mention the rumours and bad words that would be spread once someone finds out you aren’t just in a relationship with one of them, yet all of them.

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and you know that building it anew on different grounds will be a crucial step. In the depths of your heart, you yearn for something more with them, to explore a connection that goes beyond friendship. Their laughter, the inside jokes you share, and the way they understand you have always made your heart skip a beat. Yet, the fear of jeopardising your bond keeps you hesitating, wondering if you can afford to risk what you already have.

You battle with your own insecurities, questioning whether you're ready for the rollercoaster of emotions that a romantic relationship might bring. Are you enough? Can you handle the weight of their expectations? The prospect of letting them down frightens you, and you're afraid of losing not only a romantic partner but also your close friends.

The truth is, you think you want this relationship, yet you acknowledge that timing is everything. The decision weighs heavily on you, and you need to be certain in your heart before taking the plunge. You owe it to yourself and to them to be genuine, vulnerable, and ready to embrace the changes this choice will bring.

You decide to step away from your bed for a moment, feeling the weight of your emotions overwhelming you. Making your way to the bathroom, you start your nighttime routine, pausing for a few seconds to look at the bottle of moisturiser, bringing a flood of thoughts of Yunho to your head. 

Yunho has changed so much since the day you first saw him in the kitchen. His transformation has been quite remarkable. You can't help but reflect on how he's evolved since your trip to the store for your moisturiser. Initially, he appeared rude, his demeanour shrouded in a kind of icy reserve. It was almost as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

However, as time passed, you noticed the shift in his demeanour. When you went to the furniture store together, it was like the walls he'd built around himself were slowly coming down. Yunho's newfound warmth towards you is reminiscent of the time from your high school days, when you sought refuge from the troubles at home and found peace in the warehouse, where he discovered you alone.

Back then, you were both navigating the challenges of adolescence, and life had already presented you with your fair share of hardships. It was in those moments of solitude, away from the chaos of your respective lives, that you forged a unique connection. Yunho, with his quiet strength and understanding, had become a source of comfort and support during those difficult times.

The memories of those moments still linger, etched in the corners of your mind. Now, as you both find yourselves facing the complexities of adulthood, it's heartening to see that the genuine care and compassion that existed between you during those formative years has resurfaced.

Since the heart-to-heart conversation in the kitchen, where the weight of secrets were finally lifted, Yunho has transformed before your eyes. He's become someone almost unfamiliar to you, but in the most delightful way.

It's as if the depths of your conversation unleashed a new side of him, a side that perhaps he had kept hidden or hadn't fully embraced until now. The Yunho you're getting to know is a true gentleman, a man who takes the time to say sweet things to you, even if his cheeks and ears turn a delightful shade of crimson in the process.

Shaking off the thoughts you look into the mirror, peering at your reflection with a mix of uncertainty and self-doubt. As you gaze at yourself, a flood of insecurities surfaces. You scrutinise every detail, the lines on your face, the curve of your lips, the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. Negative thoughts swirl in your mind like a tempest, questioning whether you're worthy of love from such amazing individuals.

You wonder if they see the same flaws you do, if they'll be disappointed when they look at you more closely, or if they'll realise you're not as perfect as they might have thought. It's a daunting prospect to believe that someone could genuinely care for you, especially when surrounded by a circle of friends who seem to radiate charm and confidence.

The fear of rejection and judgement gnaws at you, threatening to sabotage the happiness you yearn for. You can't help but compare yourself to them, feeling like you're an outsider in their world of popularity and allure. It's as if a little voice inside your head tells you that you'll never truly belong, that you're not good enough to deserve their love and affection.

Tears blur your vision as you try to silence the self-criticism, the lingering doubts that seem to echo through your mind. You question whether you'll ever be ready for a relationship with them, wondering if your insecurities will push them away, destroying the friendship you hold so dear.

Moving yourself from the bathroom, you attempt to find a moment of peace to collect your thoughts. Finding refuge in the comfort of your bedroom, you close the bathroom door behind you and sit down on the floor in the centre of the room, feeling the weight of hesitation settling upon your shoulders.

Taking a deep breath, you're confronted by a flood of thoughts about your mental health issues, trauma, and the complex needs you carry within you. The struggle with anxiety, the lingering effects of past experiences, and the emotional scars that sometimes feel too heavy to bear; they all come rushing back, demanding your attention.

In the midst of this emotional whirlwind, a surge of doubt grips you. You begin to question if the boys you have grown to love, who seem to have it all together, would truly be capable of handling the intricacies of your mental health journey. Would they understand when anxiety creeps in, leaving you paralyzed with fear? Could they be patient and supportive when the shadows of your past cast their long shadows over your present?

It's an agitated storm of self-doubt, wondering if your needs might be too much for them to bear. The fear of burdening them with your struggles gnaws at your heart, and you find yourself grappling with the thought that you might not be deserving of their love and care. You so desperately wish to be happy, and the happiness you feel when you are around the boys is stronger than you have ever felt before. You definitely need to talk to Jisung about this, his advice always seeming to relieve the pressure off your heavy heart.

Today you only expected to confront the eight men about the past, finding out answers and you seem to have got more than you bargained for. One part of you is glad you know their affections towards you, yet one half is torn from having to make the decision.

With your room being shrouded in darkness, the only source of light being the faint moonlight filtering through the curtains, you try to relax on the floor, your knees pulled close to your chest, surrounded by the whirlwind of emotions swirling within. You know you should be getting to bed, sleeping for the next day which holds lectures withholding important information. Time seems to stand still as you replay the heartfelt words spoken by the eight men. 

Amidst the turmoil of your mind, there is a sudden knock on your door. Startled, you glance at the entrance, your heart pounding in your chest. Hesitating to answer, the door slowly creaks open for you, revealing the silhouette of Seonghwa standing there, his expression mirroring the same restlessness that is keeping you awake.

“Can I come in?” Seonghwa quietly asks, scared to be turned down, yet as he sees the gentle smile and nod cover your features, accepting the invitation, the man makes his way in. Stepping into the room and closing the door behind him, his presence brings both comfort and a further storm to your heart, as the confession resurfaces in your mind.

"Mingi and I just got back from managing the bar, but I can't sleep," Seonghwa says softly, his voice tinged with vulnerability.

His honesty only deepens the emotional turbulence inside. You are grappling with the same uncertainty, the same fear of what the future may hold.

“Come sit with me,” you say, hoping he will relax next to you.

As he settles down beside you on the floor, there is a moment of silence, both of you lost in your own thoughts. The room is filled with a mixture of emotions – the lines of friendship blurring before your eyes.

“You don't find it weird do you?” Seonghwa says breaking the heavy tension that suddenly coated the room.

“Find what weird?” You question, not sure as to what Seonghwa is asking.

“Us being together, as nine.”

You realise Seonghwa is inquiring about the group's dynamic and relationship. 

“Not really…” you start, not knowing if you should disclose your worries with Seonghwa, yet when you see the pleading look on his features, you feel your walls breaking, “honestly I'm just worrying whether I'll fit in, you guys are so close. I don't know if I will be able to be good enough for you guys.” You admit, feeling slightly embarrassed to be admitting such information.

“___,” Seonghwa says your name softly, feeling awfully upset you would even think you weren't good enough to be with them. “You are perfect for us, you don't need to worry about anything. There is nothing you could ever do that would make us think you don't belong with us. If anything, we don't deserve you. The kindness you have shown us, despite the rumours, despite everything has shown us enough. Whether it is with us or not, we just want you to be happy, you deserve to be happy.”

Gently, you cast a grateful glance towards Seonghwa, feeling a rush of emotions as his words wash over you. They bring both comfort and solace, embracing you in a tender embrace of understanding and support. It stays silent for a while as you let his words touch your heart. 

“I’m doing better…” Seonghwa says, once again breaking the silence and you wonder as to why he suddenly uttered those specific words.

When you shoot him a perplexed glance, Seonghwa responds with a soft chuckle, sensing your confusion. He then proceeds to clarify his statement with a reassuring tone.

“Back when you found me on the rooftop…” Seonghwa trails off as he sees the way you hold your breath reminiscing the night, he relaxes slightly as you nod at him to continue, ignoring the sudden surge of negative emotions clouding your vision. 

“The boys encouraged me to seek help. I was feeling so lost and overwhelmed, like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. But I took that first step, and it changed everything. My therapist helped me understand myself on a level I never thought possible,” Seonghwa pauses, trying to gauge your reaction.

“I’m so happy for you Seonghwa, truly. That is amazing.” Seonghwa helping himself, becoming better and finally feeling alive truly brings happiness to your soul. 

“When I heard you were in this school, I was really nervous at first, I was scared you were going to see me as the guy from high school who was constantly bothering you.”

Seonghwa huckles along with you, the shared laughter carries the weight of old memories and newfound understanding. You can't help but reminisce about the times when Seonghwa would follow you around school like a loyal companion, a testament to his friendship, even if it did sometimes border on being a little bothersome.

“I was worried you were going to be a different person completely, but when I saw you again for the first time in years, even though you have changed physically, you were definitely still the same.”

“What do you mean?” You question, not sure what his words mean.

“Your laugh, your voice, your humour, your kindness, your eyes. They are all the same as back then. But your eyes, they are brighter now, happier. You are just as, if not, even more, beautiful.” Seonghwa admits, “I don’t think I can lose you again.”

Silence falls upon the two of you as you let the tender words of the man in front of you sink in. The words of love play with your heartstrings, making your end decision even more daunting.

"I don't know what to do," you finally whisper, your voice breaking and Seonghwa immediately realises you are speaking of the confession and proposition, “I like you, all of you, yet it just seems so fast, so new.”

Seonghwa listens to your confession and when he senses the depth of your reciprocated feelings, a whirlwind of emotions engulfs him. He feels like he's floating on cloud nine, as if he's on the brink of something incredibly special and profound. Your words have touched him in a way that nothing else ever has. It's a feeling of euphoria, knowing that the person he cares about so deeply shares those same sentiments.

However, beneath this elation, he also senses the subtle undercurrent of fear and hesitation in you. It's completely understandable after so many years of being apart. The prospect of starting a new chapter, especially one as significant as a romantic relationship, can indeed be daunting. Seonghwa empathises with your feelings entirely.

Yet, despite the uncertainty and the challenges that lie ahead, he can't help but yearn for your affection and the chance to call you his own. The connection you share, one that has spanned years and endured the test of time, is something he cherishes deeply.

In Seonghwa's chest, his heart beats with a mixture of excitement and patience. He knows that these things take time, and he's willing to take it one step at a time with you, ensuring that you both feel comfortable and secure in whatever path you choose to explore. For now, he's content with the knowledge that the feelings are mutual, and he's looking forward to seeing where this newfound chapter of your connection will lead.

Seonghwa instinctively reaches for your hand, his touch warm and reassuring, yet as you remember the confession once more, the action of affection makes your reaction extreme, your cheeks heating up, your heart racing faster than usual. 

"We don't have to figure it all out right now," he says gently. "Let's take our time. We'll figure it out together."

“It’s just… I’m still trying to process that you guys are still alive, now I have something else to think about, it all seems too much.”

Seonghwa continues to listen to you and he can almost feel the waves of unease radiating from your very being. It's a raw and vulnerable moment, and he wishes deeply that he could find a way to ease the emotional storm surging behind your eyes.

Unconsciously, his fingers begin to play with yours tenderly. It's a small, comforting gesture, a silent reassurance that he's here, he's present, and he's ready to support you in whatever way you need.

At this moment, Seonghwa isn't focused on any hurry or pressure to define your relationship. Instead, he's fully attuned to your emotions, your concerns, and your hesitations. He knows that sometimes, the most valuable thing he can offer is his patient understanding and unwavering support.

“I’m sorry for not finding you sooner.” He finally speaks, his voice starting to break as he feels his throat tighten up, “I was so lost without you.”

The moment Seonghwa utters those words, you can hear the raw emotion in his voice, and you can see the sincerity in his eyes. His admission that he was lost without you hits you deeply, and it's impossible not to feel the depth of his emotions. The warmth of your touch is a silent reassurance, letting him know that you understand that you've also carried your own share of longing and uncertainty.

"I'm here now," you say softly, your voice filled with understanding and compassion. "Sometimes life takes us on different paths, but we find our way back to the people who matter most."

Seonghwa's eyes glisten with unshed tears, and he nods, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. In this moment of shared vulnerability, you both find comfort in each other's presence, knowing that the past is behind you and the future is filled with possibility.

“Seonghwa,” You begin to call the man’s name, recognising the way he is starting to succumb to his emotions.

“There is not a single day that went by without us regretting leaving you. We just had to make sure it was safe for you before we came back.”

His heartfelt words pierce your heart, leaving your mind a mess.

“It’s okay, I’m here now. I won’t leave you, any of you.”

In the hushed stillness of the room, you raise the hand that was resting underneath his, to delicately caress Seonghwa's cheek, cupping it tenderly. Your touch is gentle, like a soothing relief to his heartache. With a soft stroke of your thumb, you wipe away the tears cascading down his beautiful face, a gesture of comfort that speaks volumes.

When you reach your other hand to cup his entire face, the sensation sends shivers down his spine. The tenderness of your touch makes his heart race with a mixture of emotions. It feels like it has been an eternity since he felt the warmth of your hands on his skin, and in this moment, it feels like an unsaid accomplishment, a connection he had yearned for, an action he has only seen in his dreams, finally being a reality brings warmth to his entire soul.

Tears continue to fall from his eyes, but your presence, your touch, makes him feel seen and understood in a way he has never imagined, yet he no longer knows if the tears are from sorrow or pure happiness. It's as if the weight of his emotions can finally be shared, knowing that you are there to offer solace and support. In the quiet intimacy of this moment, he finds himself silently thanking fate for bringing him to your room tonight.

The world seems to fade away as Seonghwa places his hands gently on top of yours, his touch sending a rush of warmth through your entire being. In this tender moment, you become highly aware of the intimate proximity between the two of you. Your faces mere inches apart, and as you lock eyes with him, time seems to stand still.

Despite the urge to move away, your body seems to have a will of its own, keeping you locked in this position. It's as if the universe conspired to bring you together in this moment, and you find yourself unable to resist the magnetic pull drawing you closer to him.

The softness of his gaze, the way his eyes seem to hold a world of unspoken emotions, leaves you captivated. In this delicate embrace, you feel a sense of vulnerability, as if a barrier that once separated you has been lifted, allowing your hearts to commune in a profound and intimate way.

The air around you is charged with unspoken desires and untamed emotions. Your heart races, torn between the familiarity of friendship and the allure of something more. There is a soft tension in the air, like a dance between two souls on the precipice of a love that has been silently blooming.

Continuing to gaze into each other's eyes, the depth of your connection becomes undeniable. It's a moment of reckoning, where you know you must confront the feelings that have been swirling within you both. Yet, in this suspended moment, the fear of the unknown fades, replaced by serene acceptance of the present.

In this captivating scene, you allow yourself to be immersed in the depth of your emotions, knowing that there is also beauty in the uncertainty, in the uncharted territories of the heart. As you share this intimate space with Seonghwa, you feel a sense of wonder, a willingness to explore the unspoken desires that have led you to this enchanting moment.

As the air crackles with unspoken desires, a gentle breeze seems to sweep through the room, carrying an air of anticipation. Neither of you can deny the magnetic pull drawing you closer, and in this intimate moment, you both surrender to the unspoken feelings that have been lingering between you.

“____,” Seonghwa calls your name softly, gazing deeply into your eyes, “I don’t know if I can live without you.”

Staying silent, you aren’t too sure how to respond, the heaviness of the confession making you too flustered to respond.

“You don’t have to say anything, I just needed you to know.”

Seonghwa's hands remain atop yours, his touch a comforting anchor as you lean in ever so slightly.

“Hwa.” You catch the man’s attention with the old nickname, making his heart race even quicker in his chest. Feeling confident, you slowly start to close the gap between your lips, until they are just a breath away from each other. 

“Can I…” Seonghwa begins before taking a deep, nervous breath in, “kiss you?” Seonghwa whispers, centimetres away from your lips. It takes you less than a few seconds to reply, even though your heart is beating out of your chest, you gently accept. 

With a mix of nervousness and excitement, you close your eyes, savouring the tingling anticipation that courses through your veins.In this suspended moment, time ceases to exist as your lips finally meet in a tender kiss. It's a soft and hesitant exploration, as if both of you are testing the waters of this new intimacy. The touch of his lips against yours sends a quake of delight down your spine, igniting a warmth in your heart that you can't quite put into words. His lips are soft as they move slowly against yours, testing the waters, seeing what you are comfortable with.

Instinctively your bodies draw closer, seeking relief in each other's embrace. The world outside fades away as you lose yourselves in the intoxicating taste of his plump lips. Finding yourself getting drunk off of the way his lips feel against yours, you hesitantly pull away, scared that you will fall in too deep, or make Seonghwa uncomfortable with the sudden rush of love and lust that you begin to feel.

Pulling away, your eyes meet once again with Seonghwa’s brown ones, and you are shocked by the sight. His usual round, soft eyes, now blown out and hooded, an indescribable emotion coursing through his veins.

Before you can utter a single word, you find yourself enveloped in Seonghwa's embrace, his strong arms securely wrapping around your waist as he effortlessly lifts you onto his lap. Your legs settle on either side of his body, the soft carpet cushioning your knees as your chest presses flat against his. The closeness of your bodies sends a surge of electricity through you, and yet, there is an overwhelming sense of comfort in this intimate position.

Gazing into Seonghwa's eyes, you see a mix of desire, lust and tenderness reflected in his gaze. He's careful to gauge your reaction, making sure you are comfortable with this new closeness. Without hesitation, you offer him a reassuring smile, your heart pounding with excitement and anticipation.

When his lips find yours once more, and this time the kiss is less gentle, Seonghwa’s tongue poking at the entrance of your mouth, and you feel an unspoken longing and passion. It's a connection that feels natural and familiar, as if your souls have been searching for this closeness all along. The way his warm lips caress yours is powerful, and you find yourself melting into the embrace, savouring the sensation of being so close to him. The kiss becomes messy as you allow his tongue to enter your mouth, dancing together as you press your body closely against his. Instinctively, you wrap your arms around Seonghwa’s neck, tilting your head to further deepen the intense kiss.

Seonghwa's arms encircle you, holding you close as if he never wants to let go. The world around you seems to fade away, and all that matters is the intimacy of this moment and the way his lips fit so perfectly against yours, the way his touch makes you feel cherished, adored, and hot, so hot.

As the kiss deepens, the boundaries between friendship and something more blur, and you realise that this is a connection that goes beyond labels and definitions. It's a love that defies explanation, a bond that has been quietly growing between you for years.

Seonghwa's touch ignites a fire within you, and you find yourself craving more of his affection, his warmth, his love. It's a feeling that is both thrilling and comforting, like coming home to the one person who understands you in a way no one else can.

His arms begin to rub up and down your back, gently passing underneath your night shirt and landing on your bare hips, gently caressing the bare skin. The warmth of his hands causes a small gasp to emit from your throat, jolting you slightly, making your hips rub gently against Seonghwa’s crotch.

“Fuck, angel.” Seonghwa's low groan reverberates through both of you, the sudden nickname sending shivers down your spine, straight to your core. The way he pulls you even closer, wrapping his arms, still underneath your shirt, tightly around your waist, creates an intoxicating sensation that leaves you breathless. Your skin pressed against his feels like a perfect fit, as if you were always meant to be in this embrace. The raw intimacy of the moment leaves both of you feeling lost in a whirlwind of emotions and sensations.

Seonghwa pulls away from your lips, and you are about to protest, yet the complaints die in your throat as his lips trail to the curve of your neck causing your heart to race, your senses heightened by every touch. He peppers small kisses down the curve of your neck, gently nibbling on the flesh.

The world around you fades into the background, and all that exists is you and Seonghwa. His hands explore the contours of your body with a gentleness that contrasts with the intensity of his desires. Every caress and every whisper of his breath against your skin ignites a fire within you, and you find yourself surrendering to the passion that courses through your veins.

“Seonghwa,” you whisper, your voice almost getting caught in your throat.

“Yes, angel?” Seonghwa mutters against the skin of your neck.

Unconsciously, the nickname causes you to move your hips against the males, desperately wanting a reaction from him. The deep groan that reverberates from his throat leaves you both satisfied and craving for more simultaneously.

“___,” Seonghwa stutters out, the sudden boldness of your movements leaving his head spinning, “we should stop,” 

Pulling away slowly, you give him a worried look, hoping dreadfully you haven't crossed a boundary. Seonghwa gently chuckles at the cute look on your face.

Pinching your cheek softly, he speaks again, “we just started, I want to take my time with you.”

Seonghwa's statement washes over you like a gentle wave, stirring up a delightful mix of excitement and nervousness that sends butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Without hesitation, he draws you close once more, enveloping you in a comforting embrace that radiates warmth and affection. As you rest your head in the crook of his neck, you find yourself basking in the tender intimacy of the moment, cherishing the precious connection you share.

“You should get to sleep, we are going shopping early tomorrow.” Seonghwa’s deep voice reverberates in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“Are we going shopping?” You question, feeling a sudden rush of sleepiness overcoming your senses. 

Nuzzling your head even closer into the crook of Seonghwa's neck, you sense the gentle thump of his heart escalating, mirroring the accelerated rhythm of your own. Although you can’t see it, Seonghwa’s cheeks are a blazing hot shade of red as he tries to calm himself from going further. He realises that pushing you to do something when you're already confused is not the right option. As much as Seonghwa wishes to take you, claim you right here, like he has been dreaming for years, he waits patiently, not wanting to overwhelm you. The lingering effect of the shared kiss intensifies the moment, making it all the more electrifying and unforgettable.

"Let's get you to bed, angel," Seonghwa whispers tenderly, his hold around your waist tightening as he firmly presses your body against his own, lifting you both effortlessly from the floor. Your legs instinctively coil around his waist, and as he carries you towards the bed, the red blush intensifies on Seonghwa's cheeks, his heart racing with every step. The intimate closeness and the warmth of the moment leave him adorably flustered, but his focus remains on ensuring your comfort and care.

Tucking you in the blankets, he sits by the side of your bed, watching your weary form with a violent blush  and a wide smile covering his entire face. 

"Goodnight, Seonghwa," you mumble softly, settling into the cosy embrace of your pillow. Witnessing your endearing gesture, Seonghwa feels his heart swell with affection, amazed at how he could fall even deeper for you, a feeling he once thought was impossible. As he watches over you, he can't help but feel grateful for the precious moments shared and the special connection that continues to grow between the two of you. With a gentle smile, he lingers for a moment, savouring the sight of you before finally whispering his own goodnight, his heart full of fondness and admiration. Departing from your bedroom with a satisfied smile on his face, Seonghwa heads straight for his bathroom, desperately needing a cold shower to calm his thoughts of you situated in his lap, looking so pretty. He definitely needs to clear those thoughts before he finds himself running back to your bedroom.

----

The soft morning light gently filters through the curtains, causing you stir from your slumber, a warm and blissful feeling spreading through your entire being. You can't help but smile as the memory of the tender kiss you shared with Seonghwa last night floods your mind, filling you with a sense of giddiness and butterflies in your stomach. The way his lips touched yours lingers in your thoughts, leaving you feeling loved and cherished.

With a contented sigh, you stretch your limbs beneath the soft sheets and sit up, the room enveloped in a soft glow that seems to match the radiance in your heart. You can't wait to see your roommates, to share the joy of this morning with them and bask in the warmth of their presence.

Getting up from your bed, the floor feels cool against your feet, contrasting with the warmth in your heart. You take your time getting ready, savouring each moment as you brush your hair and wash your face. There's an air of excitement and anticipation building within you, eager to embrace the day ahead and the company of your dear roommates.

Making your way to the kitchen, the aroma of breakfast fills the air, and your senses are treated to a delightful feast. To your delight, all eight of your friends are gathered at the counter, and you can't help but notice that they all look particularly handsome today, their smiles radiant and welcoming. You aren't sure if it is because of their confession yesterday, or if they always look this good, but something has changed. The sight of them all waiting for you warms your heart, and you feel a mix of gratitude and affection for each member of the group. It's a feeling of belonging and togetherness that washes over you, reinforcing the deep bond you share with them.

Unconsciously, you gravitate towards Seonghwa, the events of last night still at the front of your mind, who beams at your approach with that charming smile that has a way of melting your heart. His eyes light up when he sees you, and the affection in his gaze makes you feel like the most cherished person in the world. 

When you get close to him, he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side, causing a small yelp of surprise to leave your mouth, the action catching you off guard making you feel awfully warm in the face.

What surprises you is that neither of the seven men around you even flinch, though they send a questioning look to Seonghwa who just gently shrugs, an amused, smug expression gracing his features as he holds you close to him, addicted to the way your body feels against him. 

Unbeknownst to you, yesterday night was very difficult for Seonghwa. In the quiet hours after your time together, his thoughts were consumed by an intense longing. The memory of your closeness lingered, and his yearning for the touch of your body against his became almost overwhelming. Throughout the night, a compelling desire took hold of him, urging him to find any possible way to feel your presence once more. 

He found himself on the brink of leaving his own room multiple times, his heart urging him to seek the physical connection he so deeply carved from you. Each time, he would pull back, reminding himself of the boundaries and the need to respect your space. It was a struggle that played out repeatedly throughout the night, a battle between his longing and his determination to be patient and considerate. Yet now you are here, with your consent, he doesn't feel the need to hold back, wanting to touch you in any way possible.

When you take your seat at the counter, you can't help but notice a bowl of your favourite breakfast waiting for you, a thoughtful gesture from Wooyoung that fills you with warmth. The gesture speaks volumes of the care and consideration your friends have for you, and you feel incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by such loving and attentive individuals.

“I hope it tastes nice.” Wooyoung says, a shy tone to his voice that has you surprised, wondering where his usual flirty, playful self is.

"I'm sure it's lovely, Woo," you reply with a playful tone, using the endearing nickname that sends delightful shivers cascading down Wooyoung's spine. The affectionate term fills his chest with pride and joy, revelling in the fact that you chose a cute name to address him. The sweet exchange between the two of you leaves Wooyoung with a heartwarming sense of happiness and admiration for you.

Munching away on the food, you allow yourself to completely relax as the flavours of the food warm and caress your tongue.

"Are you coming to the mall with us today?" Yeosang is situated on the other side of you and asks in a hushed tone, his eyes filled with hope as he awaits your response. Meanwhile, the other seven members are deeply engrossed in a somewhat serious yet lighthearted debate about whether butts are considered as two or one. Despite their lively discussion, Yeosang remains focused on your answer, eager for you to join them on the outing.

"Yes, I think so. I desperately need some new clothes," you reply with a smile, feeling the warmth of Yeosang’s undivided attention as he turns his entire body towards you, clearly focused on your words. The genuine interest he shows in your plans for the day brings a sense of connection, making you even more eager to spend time with the group. Excitement builds as you look forward to the fun outing with your friends, hoping it will be a memorable day spent together.

Yet something suddenly nags at your mind, causing you to feel a little vulnerable. “Aren't you worried about being seen with me in public? I don't think people would be happy with me being around you.”

“We don't care what people think, you are one of us.” he says, his tone soft as he peers at your flustered reaction, a smile graces his face.

You feel a rush of flustered emotions as you notice Yeosang's gaze lingering on your lips before returning to your eyes. The memory of the kiss shared with Seonghwa last night briefly crosses your mind, sparking curiosity about what it might be like to kiss the others. However, you quickly push those thoughts away, not wanting to get carried away and get your hopes up too high.

Yeosang, seemingly pleased with your reaction, gently smirks before turning back to the group. Little does he know, his actions have left you feeling even more flustered. As you watch him, you can't help but wonder how he might flirt with you and what that could lead to. The possibility of such interactions excites you, but you also remind yourself to be cautious and not read too much into it.

In his own silent moment, Yeosang decides to take some pointers from Wooyoung on flirting, hoping to make you smile and blush like this forever. The prospect of seeing your cute flustered face becomes a delightful goal, one he can't wait to achieve.

----

The late morning sun casts a golden glow on the bustling streets as you and your roommates step out of the white house. Due to the large shopping mall being a short walk away, the nine of you decide to walk there to enjoy the warm sun, the excitement in the air is palpable. You had mentioned that you needed some new clothes, and the eight men were more than eager to join you on this shopping adventure.

Walking to the mall turned out to be quite the amusing experience. As the group strolled along, you found yourself at the back, flanked by Wooyoung and San, who adamantly refused to let anyone else take their spot next to you. Their sweet insistence brought a warm blush to your cheeks, and you couldn't help but feel flattered by their attention.

Seonghwa and Mingi, not ones to back down easily, bickered with Wooyoung and San, each vying for the chance to be by your side during the walk there. The friendly competition for your company added a playful dynamic to the group, and even Hongjoong couldn't resist getting involved, trying to mediate the situation.

In the end, Hongjoong managed to calm the playful dispute, promising Seonghwa, Mingi, and the others that they could take turns to walk with you on the way back home. Although the rest of the group may have been sulking slightly at not being able to be next to you now, they all understood the importance of sharing the time with you and were happy to have their chance later.

Arriving at the grand entrance of the shopping mall, your eyes widen in awe. The place is massive, with countless stores, boutiques, and displays that promise a shopping experience like no other. You are not able to contain your excitement and feel a flutter of anticipation in your chest.

Strolling through the mall, the group seems to split into smaller clusters, each one of your roommates offering to accompany you to different sections based on your fashion preferences. 

“Are you guys sure you don't need anything?” You question for the third time as they refuse to look in any shop that you walk past.

Upon hearing a chorus of playful "no's" filling the air, you can't help but roll your eyes with a mixture of amusement and affection. Their stubbornness to stay by your side, despite knowing it makes your heart race, only serves to make you appreciate their care and attention even more. It's endearing to see how much they value being with you, and while their determination might fluster you, it also warms your heart to know how cherished you are within the group.

When you reach a particular clothing store, which you usually shop at, you are happy to see they have sales on a lot of clothes. Making your way in, you giggle at the way the eight aimlessly follow you in. They disperse slightly, looking at many different clothing racks, searching for something that would suit you, or something they would like to see you wearing.

Wandering through the racks of clothes, you notice Wooyoung seems particularly focused. He keeps scanning the dresses with a determined expression, occasionally pulling one off the rack to examine it closely. It's clear that he's on a mission, and you can't help but wonder what he's up to.

"Hey, Wooyoung, find anything interesting?" you question, curious about his intent.

Wooyoung turns to you with a mischievous grin, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Oh, just looking for something special," he replies cryptically.

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued by his mysterious response. The boys exchange knowing glances, clearly in on whatever plan Wooyoung has hatched. It seems as if they have a small mission in their minds.

A little while later, Wooyoung finally emerges from the racks of dresses, triumphantly holding one up for you to see. "Look! This would look stunning on you," Wooyoung, exclaims, holding up a beautiful black dress that caught his eye. It definitely isn't your style, so you wonder as to why he would ask you to try it on.

You examine the short, form-fitting dress that Wooyoung kindly offered, you realise it's not your usual style, and you feel hesitant about trying it on, especially since it's on the sexier side and not something you'd typically wear. Before you can politely decline, San appears at your side, expressing his agreement with Wooyoung's suggestion. He wraps an arm around your shoulder in a tender gesture, encouraging you to give it a try while also assuring you that it's entirely your choice.

Touched by their compliments and support, you gently accept the dress, feeling grateful for their thoughtfulness. With a slightly doubtful smile, you make your way to the changing room, and to your surprise, you notice that all of them follow you eagerly, clearly invested in how you'll look in the dress. 

“Guys you don't all need to come.” You exclaim, chuckling at their eagerness, “it’s just a dress.”

“We have never seen you in a dress before,” Mingi replies, an adorable pout on his face, the others agreeing with him. Chuckling again, you turn around to walk into the changing room. Inside the changing room, you slip into the dress, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. You realise this must've been their plan and you chuckle to yourself at the thought of them conspiring for this very moment. It gives you a boost of confidence knowing they are eager to see you dressed up nicely.

Standing in the changing room, you find yourself struggling to reach the zipper on the back of the dress, you let out a small groan of frustration. You contemplate taking the dress off and giving up on the idea of trying it on. However, in that moment, a mischievous idea crosses your mind, and a playful smirk appears on your face.

Deciding to have a little fun with the situation, you poke your head out of the changing room, leaving the zipper undone deliberately and you see eight faces waiting patiently. 

You gently call out to the men outside, "Hey, I might need a little help here."

San, Wooyoung, and the others glance your way, and their eyes widen when they notice your insinuations. Instantly, they catch on to your playful game, and a mischievous glint appears in their eyes as well.

Wooyoung quickly volunteers, stepping forward with a grin, "I'll help!"

The others slightly grumble, falling back into their seats as you allow Wooyoung to make his way into the changing room, where you hold up the dress with your arms. Noticing the way Wooyoung's eyes are chasing your form up and down, you feel a surge of confidence rush through your body. Maybe trying on this dress wasn't such a bad idea after all. 

With a teasing smile, you turn around, allowing Wooyoung to reach for the zipper. As his fingers brush against your bare back while he gently pulls up the zipper, a shiver runs down your spine, and you can't help but exchange a knowing look with him through the mirror. When his eyes meet yours, you notice the dark look coating his eyes, making your knees feel weak. 

“How does it look?” You whisper, suddenly feeling a little insecure at how tight the dress is. 

Wooyoung's fingers glide slowly from the zipper of the dress to your hips, where he gently pulls you closer against his body, his chest now pressed against your back. The proximity between you two sends a shiver through your body, and your heart races with a mixture of excitement and anticipation.

His hands gently massage your hips, and Wooyoung can't help but revel in the sensation of your touch against his skin. The way your bodies fit together creates a warm and intimate connection that has him feeling drunk off of your touch. He suddenly feels immensely grateful that you trusted him to come into the dressing room, along with letting him see you in the dress first. 

“It looks amazing,” Wooyoung whispers in your ear, his lips brushing your earlobe, he continues, “You’d look better without it.” His words cause another shiver to ripple through your body, the insinuations of his words has your head spinning.

“Wooyoung, behave.” Hongjoong’s authoritative voice sounds from behind the curtain of the dressing room and you realise that the seven on the other side must have heard what Wooyoung uttered.

Playfully rolling his eyes, Wooyoung reluctantly moves away from your body, grumbling under his breath. Once the curtain opens, you turn around to face the group, playfully twirling in the dress, feeling a newfound confidence and excitement. 

Emerging from the fitting room, you're greeted by a symphony of reactions from your roommates. Mingi and Seonghwa’s expressions border on awe, their mouths hanging slightly agape as they drink in the way the dress contours your figure. Yeosang and Jongho, aware of their own reactions, quickly avert their gaze, trying to avoid any obvious signs of their appreciation for the dress on you.

Yunho and San's widened eyes trace your silhouette, an unspoken admiration evident in their glances. They want you to feel comfortable but can't help conveying how striking you look, their stare piercing you. Hongjoong, known for his unreadable demeanour, studies you intently, his features carefully neutral. When your curious gaze meets his, he raises an eyebrow in a challenge, his lips curling into a smirk as he openly checks you out.

In a playful move, you send a teasing wink his way, a side of you he rarely witnesses. The effect is immediate, causing a noticeable flush to creep up Hongjoong's cheeks. His eyes widen slightly in surprise at your flirtatious gesture, and you can practically see the wheels turning in his mind. Your unexpected action has triggered a shift in his usually composed demeanour, stirring a rush of thoughts and feelings that he's unaccustomed to.

The contrast between your usual innocence and this unexpected flirtation leaves Hongjoong's heart racing and his mind aflutter with indecent notions. Your playfulness has caught him off guard, and it's evident in the way his cheeks continue to heat up. The dynamic between you two has shifted momentarily, and the lingering effects of your flirtatious exchange are bound to make the day even more interesting. 

"You look stunning!" Mingi exclaims, his eyes bright with admiration.

"You were right. This dress is perfect for her," San chimed in, his eyes not leaving the dress hugging your body.

“I’ll go pay for it,” Hongjoong says, getting off the chair he was comfortably resting in. 

“What? No, I'll pay.” You insist, trying to chase after Hongjoong, who just sends you a sweet smile before heading towards the exit of the fitting rooms. 

“Bring it to me when it's off, love.” he says before turning away to walk off, yet he stops and quickly turns around to meet your eyes again, swiftly he looks you up and down, before smiling again, “you look beautiful.” 

Once again, Hongjoong moves to the exit, some of the others following him, not before glancing at you one more time, to make sure the image of you in the dress stays in their minds. You attempt to follow him, not wanting him to pay for something like this. Yet, Wooyoung, who is still in the changing room, swiftly grabs your hand,  gently pulling you back into the cubicle.

“He likes to pay for things, it’s how he shows his affection, amongst other ways…” Woooyoung trails off and you can’t help but wonder what he is implying, “now, do you need help taking it off too?” 

“Wooyoung.” It is San whose voice sounds this time, causing Wooyoung to playfully roll his eyes.

It's just this dress, you tell yourself.

Unbeknownst to you, a pair of eyes diligently observes your every gesture from across the expanse of the clothing store. A faint scowl adorns their features as they take in the scene playing out before them. Arched eyebrows frame their intent gaze, as they persist in their scrutiny, trying to think of where they've encountered you in the past. Curiously, the sight of your seemingly contented presence among the group of eight men evokes an unease within them. Finally they have found Ateez, yet they are extremely unaware as to who you are.

As the day wears on, you notice that your friends seem to be going out of their way to impress you. They help you find the perfect clothes, hold doors open for you, and even sneak in small gestures of affection, like stealing glances or offering gentle touches on your arm. Seonghwa skillfully manoeuvres his arm around your waist as the two of you walk side by side, gently tugging you closer to his side. His touch creates a sense of intimacy. Resting his chin on your shoulder, he conveys a silent closeness, a shared moment of connection that transcends words. The warmth of his body against yours and the weight of his chin on your shoulder create a comforting sensation.

"Wait, this sweater looks so cosy. You have to try it on!" Jongho insisted, handing you a soft, knitted sweater that looked like it would be perfect for chilly evenings.

"And these shoes! They would go perfectly with that dress you tried earlier," Yunho adds, bringing over a pair of elegant black shoes.

Continuing the shopping spree at the large mall, you can’t help but be flattered by their attention and affection. Every time you pause to admire an item for a little too long, one of the eight men would quickly grab it off the rack, insisting on buying it for you. It was both endearing and overwhelming to see their determination to spoil you  with gifts, no matter how hard you try to protest.

Trying on each item, you can't help but marvel at how well your roommates know your style and preferences. Their attention to detail and the effort they put into finding clothes that suit your taste makes your heart swell with gratitude.

The more the shopping bags pile up, the more you protest, telling them that they do not need to buy everything you like. Alas, your roommates are insistent, assuring you that they want to spoil you and show their appreciation for your presence in their lives.

During a quick break at a coffee shop, you find yourself sitting next to Yunho, who has been rather quiet this entire trip, it seems as if there is something on his mind, bothering him. When you look over to him, you notice he is peering at you with a fond expression. He takes a deep breath, as if he is gathering the courage to say something important, the tips of his ears turning a dark shade of red.

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know that... I really care about you," he begins, his voice hushed, soft and earnest , the traces of nervousness evident in his tone. The abrupt confession momentarily leaves you in a state of astonishment, as the unexpected display of affection from him causes your heart to quicken its pace. 

Throughout the day, you've been consistently taken aback by the sudden surge of affection from every man. Normally, the casual slight flirting is something you’ve become accustomed to, but now it has escalated to an intense level, and the realisation that there are deeper emotions beneath their words leaves you feeling light-headed and in a perpetual state of fluster.

"Later, can we talk, one on one, just us two? You deserve an apology and an explanation for my behaviour." Yunho continues.

“I’d love that Yunho.” You smile at the man, who looks exactly like a puppy as his eyes light up with happiness.

His confession leaves your heart pounding in your chest, and before Yunho can respond, Jongho approaches the two of you with a smile on his face. "Don't forget about me," he says playfully, though there is a hint of sincerity in his eyes. "I feel the same way. You're truly special to all of us."

Their sincere words have a profound effect on you, causing a rush of warmth to spread throughout your being. The honesty in their expressions and the depth of their feelings touch you deeply, leaving you unable to hide the telltale signs of your emotions. Your cheeks flush with a gentle heat, the emotions swirling within you.

When the day draws to a close, you leave the mall with bags filled with new clothes and hearts full of cherished memories. Realising that you are indeed fortunate to have such incredible people in your life who love you so deeply.

Making your way home, arms laden with shopping bags, you feel an overwhelming sense of happiness and belonging. The affectionate gestures of your roommates have touched you deeply, and you know that you are truly surrounded by people who care for you. In the end, it wasn't just about the clothes or the gifts; it was about the love and warmth that flowed between you. Settling back into the house, you can’t help but smile as you look around at your roommates, each one beaming with happiness. 

“I am going to put all this stuff away,” you exclaim, announcing your short departure.

"Hey, just so you know, dinner will be ready in about an hour or two," Yunho calls out to you as you busily move the numerous bags into your room. With a quick thumbs-up in his direction, you respond in a light-hearted manner, before disappearing behind your closed bedroom door. Your actions prompt a soft chuckle from him, finding your response quite endearing and cute.

Alone in the quiet of your room, you take a deep breath, attempting to steady the rising tide of anxiety that threatens to engulf you. Today had been a day unlike any other, filled with warmth that had, for a fleeting moment, lifted your spirits. The kindness and affection of the boys had been a balm to your soul, enveloping you in a sense of belonging that you hadn't felt in a while.

Reflecting on the day's events, you're struck by a poignant realisation – it was indeed one of the best days you've had in a long time. Laughter, shared moments, and the genuine care of your roommates were woven together to create memories that you'll treasure. And yet, despite the joy that had enveloped you, a shadow of apprehension had loomed over the day, casting a veil of unease over your experience.

The sensation of being watched, the lingering feeling that someone was trailing your every move, had been a constant presence in the back of your mind. It had woven its way into the fabric of your day, colouring even the happiest moments with a sense of discomfort. The weight of someone's presence, real or imagined, clung to you like a second skin, refusing to be shaken off.

Her face was everywhere and the worst thing is, you feel like you’ve seen it before.

---

⇢ taglist: @lilactangerine @plutoneu @abby-grace @sunkissed725 @lixiel0ver @acciocriativity @hyukssunflower @sunukissed @khjcoo @stopeatread @meginthebuilding27 @mychickentendou @sunnyhokyu @rxnexxi @croa-yevon @arabelleum @randomness7198 @dysftopia @lucymultistan @sookacc @starillusion13 @daceydeath @theamazinggrace-000 @smilingtokki @hasgalore @pytssamworld @just-a-really-bored-kpop-fan @satsuri3su

@theonesoldtoonedirection @wooya1224 @deadpoetsandhoney @skztrophy @kunhengie @tinyelfperson @l0vetiny @simplyalfie @doggopepper @seungily @dino-teezerr @silentcry329 @formulateez @senpai-of-doom @aaaaajonghooooo @ijwsbdinp ​@liniiiaa @channiespup @heyitstacy @eightmakesonebraincell @araknoid @itsmeregan @rynmlk @kazuhateez @galaxypox @chermonroe @babyhailey819 @euphoricdeni @wooya1224 @matzbear @h-nji @tunaasan @send-me-places @llynx7 @solstramaii @mlink64 @purple-bell @punkhazardlaw @meljoongiee @solstramaii @vixensss @notevenheretbh1 @imsodazed @sunasbitch2-0 @tigerliliexists @icouldntcareless22 @grim-adventures58

if you asked to be tagged and do not see your name it is because you cannot be tagged. I am not ignoring you/haven't seen your request. I apologise for the inconvience.

[rafesapologist]

the set up — rafe cameron; part sixteen

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

warnings: angst, swearing, smut, p in v, unprotected sex, sad rafe

author's note: i hope you guys are enjoying the longer chapters! thank you again for all of the support and love for this series. we aren't quite at the end yet, but when we do get there, i have a bit of a surprise for you guys. love u mwah

A few days later, the day of your discharge from the hospital arrived. John B's van, with JJ behind the wheel, was waiting to take you back to the chateau. As you settled into the passenger seat, you gazed out the window, the passing scenery a backdrop to the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions swirling within you.

JJ broke the silence, attempting to ease the tension that lingered in the air. "Everyone's been asking about you," he said, his voice gentle as he navigated the familiar roads.

You nodded, still lost in your reflections. The events of the past few days replayed in your mind like a haunting reel, each frame carrying the weight of decisions and consequences. JJ, sensing the gravity of the situation, allowed a moment of quiet before trying to initiate a conversation. "How are you feeling now?" he asked, his eyes briefly meeting yours.

Your gaze remained fixed on the passing scenery. "Physically, I'm getting there. Emotionally… it's a lot to process," you admitted, your voice carrying a mixture of exhaustion and introspection.

JJ nodded understandingly, keeping his focus on the road. "You don't have to go through this alone, you know. We're here for you," he reassured, a genuine concern underlying his words.

Appreciating the support, you offered a small smile, grateful for the sense of camaraderie amid the storm that had become your life. As the van continued its journey back to the chateau, you couldn't help but wonder how things would unfold in the aftermath of the chaos.

The van continued its journey back to the chateau, the hum of the engine providing a steady backdrop to the conversation between you and JJ. He kept the small talk going for a while, sharing anecdotes and attempting to lighten the atmosphere. However, as the chateau loomed in the distance, he shifted the conversation back to the weightier matters.

"Listen, I know you've been through a lot, but there's something we need to talk about," JJ said, his tone serious, a hint of concern in his eyes.

You nodded, bracing yourself for whatever news he was about to deliver. "What is it?"

Taking a deep breath, JJ broached the subject carefully. "The night of the incident, things got even messier. The allegations against John B have escalated, and it's not safe for any of us to stay in town."

Shock registered on your face as you processed the gravity of JJ's words. "What do you mean, not safe?"

JJ explained the severity of the allegations against John B, the danger they all faced by staying in the town, and the urgent need to leave. As he spoke, you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach, torn between the physical and emotional toll you were dealing with and the impending need to leave everything behind.

"I know this is a lot to take in, especially considering everything you've been through," JJ added, concern etched on his face. "But we can't risk staying here. It's not just about us anymore."

Uncertainty and fear gripped you, the weight of the situation settling in as you grappled with the realization that leaving town was not just a choice but a necessity for your friends.

You pondered JJ's words, considering the possibility of John B laying low for a while. "Maybe John B just needs to stay under the radar for a bit, let things cool down," you suggested, a flicker of hope in your voice.

But JJ's expression hardened, and he shook his head adamantly. "No, it's not that simple. If John B is caught, they won't just slap him with a fine or a short sentence. They're talking about life in prison, or even worse, death row. We can't take that risk."

The gravity of the situation hung heavily in the air, and you could sense the fear and urgency in JJ's voice. The reality of the danger they all faced, the consequences that loomed over John B, weighed on you. The conflict within you intensified as you grappled with the turmoil of your recent experiences and the harsh reality of the choices that lay ahead.

JJ's determination reflected in his eyes as he continued driving, navigating the winding roads that led back to the chateau. The uncertainty of the future and the fear of the unknown cast a shadow over the familiar landscape. As the van approached the chateau, a heavy silence settled between you and JJ, both grappling with the weight of the decisions that needed to be made.

Breaking the heavy silence that enveloped the van, you spoke softly, "JJ, I don't think I can go."

JJ's grip on the steering wheel tightened, and he glanced at you, concern etched across his features. "Why? You know we can't stay."

Taking a deep breath, you hesitated before confessing, "I love you guys, but I don't have the strength to just get up and leave. Not now."

There was a moment of understanding in JJ's eyes as he processed your words. "Is this about Rafe?" he asked, putting two and two together.

You nodded, the weight of the recent events and the emotional toll evident in your eyes. "Yeah, it is. I just need some time to figure things out."

JJ sighed, sympathetic yet torn between the urgency of the situation and your need for time. "Y/N, I get it, but we're running out of time. I can't force you, but you need to consider what's at stake."

JJ's voice softened as he urged you, "Remember what Rafe did, Y/N. Don't let that slide. He put you in danger, and he needs to face the consequences."

You nodded, acknowledging the truth in JJ's words, but the internal struggle persisted. The love you felt for your friends clashed with the complicated emotions tied to Rafe. The van pulled into the chateau's driveway, and as it came to a stop, the weight of the impending decisions hung in the air.

"Take some time to think, Y/N," JJ said, his eyes holding a mixture of concern and understanding. "But please, don't take too long. Time isn't on our side."

You nodded again, appreciative of JJ's understanding, and the two of you exited the van, the gravity of the situation settling over the chateau like an impending storm. As you stepped into the familiar surroundings, the decision loomed, and you couldn't shake the feeling that whatever path you chose, it would alter the course of your life and the lives of those you cared about.

The atmosphere inside the chateau shifted as you entered, supported by JJ. The warmth of familiarity and the genuine concern of your friends enveloped you. They gathered around, expressing their relief and joy at seeing you back.

"Y/n, you look like you've been through a war," quipped Pope, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, next time, leave the action movie stunts to John B," Kiara teased, a playful smile on her face.

Sarah joined in, "Seriously, though, we were worried sick. You're a tough one to keep down."

Despite the heaviness of recent events, their attempts at humor managed to elicit a small smile from you. JJ gently guided you to the couch, and the banter continued, creating a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos.

"Alright, enough with the jokes. Y/N, how are you really feeling?" John B asked, a genuine concern in his eyes.

You took a deep breath, grateful for the genuine care of your friends. "Physically, I'm getting there. Emotionally, I'm still figuring things out."

JJ, standing beside you, shot a subtle glance your way, understanding the complexity of your emotions. The Pogues exchanged glances, silently acknowledging the unspoken challenges you faced.

Pope, sensing the shift in the mood, spoke earnestly, "We're here for you, Y/N. Whatever you need."

The mention of preparing to leave cast a temporary shadow over the room. Sensing the unspoken tension, Pope diverted the conversation with a pragmatic question, "So, do you need any help packing, Y/N?"

Your gaze flickered to JJ, seeking a reassuring nod before responding. "Actually," JJ interjected, stepping closer, "she might not be going with us."

The room fell into a momentary silence as the weight of JJ's words hung in the air. Confusion and concern danced in the eyes of your friends. Kiara was the first to break the silence, her voice carrying a mix of curiosity and understanding, "What do you mean, not going with us?"

Your gaze remained fixed on the floor, the weight of the unspoken truth heavy in the air. JJ, standing beside you, offered an explanation on your behalf, "She's been through a lot, guys. Maybe she just needs some time to figure things out, you know?"

Kiara chimed in, her voice gentle, "Y/N, we understand if you need time. But you don't have to face this alone. We're family, and family sticks together."

John B, sensing the gravity of the situation, spoke with a hint of concern, "Y/N, you've got to talk to us. What's holding you back?"

You took a deep breath, the weight of the decision pressing on you. "It's complicated, guys. There's something I need to figure out before I can commit to leaving. I hope you understand."

"It's because of Rafe, isn't it?" You hear the familiar voice of Sarah chime in.

Her question hung in the air, a moment of tension settling over the room. JJ's protective instincts kicked in as he stepped forward, a subtle edge to his tone, "Come on, give her some space. This isn't about blaming anyone."

Sarah, sensing the tension, quickly backtracked, "I didn't mean to pry. It's just that, you know, Rafe… everything that happened."

Your gaze shifted from Sarah to JJ, appreciating his defense but also feeling the weight of the unspoken truth. Taking a deep breath, you decided to address it, "It's a part of it, yeah. But not the only thing. I need time to figure things out, to heal."

Sarah's eyes softened with understanding, and a somber expression replaced the previous curiosity. "I get it, Y/N. Relationships are complicated, especially when emotions are high." She sighed, a touch of regret in her voice. "I never wanted you to get hurt in all this. I thought we were doing the right thing by involving Rafe, but I didn't anticipate it turning out like this. I'm sorry."

You offered a small, reassuring smile, "No need to apologize, Sarah. We were all in this together. Sometimes things just don't go as planned."

JJ, standing by your side, chimed in, "Exactly. We've faced worse together. We'll figure this out, too."

Sarah nodded, her expression reflecting gratitude for the understanding. The weight of the situation lingered in the air, but the camaraderie of your friends provided a glimmer of support amidst the uncertainty.

As the realization settled in that your friends would be leaving The Cut, a palpable sadness cast a shadow over your expression. The thought of life without them, even if just for a while, weighed heavily on your heart. The chateau, once bustling with laughter and shared adventures, now seemed on the verge of echoing with the absence of your closest allies.

Kiara noticed the change in your demeanor and gently placed a supportive hand on your shoulder. "Hey, we'll be back before you know it. It's just a temporary thing. We'll find John B and sort this mess out together."

You managed a small, appreciative smile, grateful for their reassurance but unable to shake off the melancholy that had settled in. The impending departure of your friends added another layer of complexity to the already tumultuous events that had unfolded.

Their words were meant to console, and you appreciated the sentiment, but the prospect of navigating the challenges ahead without the familiar faces of your friends left an ache in your heart. The countdown to their departure began, each passing moment marking the impending separation.

"You know what," JJ spoke up, "I'll stay with her."

The revelation that JJ planned to stay behind and support you in the absence of the others took everyone by surprise. The room fell into a brief silence as your friends processed the unexpected twist. Kiara raised an eyebrow, and Pope's eyes widened, exchanging a glance with Sarah. Even JJ seemed to be gauging the reactions around him.

JJ shrugged casually, breaking the silence. "Someone's gotta keep an eye on Y/N, right? Plus, I'm not leaving her alone in The Cut. No way."

Your heart warmed at JJ's unwavering loyalty and the genuine concern etched on his face. Kiara recovered first, a playful grin forming. "Well, aren't you turning into a knight in shining armor, JJ?"

JJ rolled his eyes, attempting to downplay the moment. "Come on, guys, it's not a big deal. Just looking out for a friend."

Pope chuckled, appreciating JJ's gesture. "It's a big deal to us, man. Thanks for doing this."

Sarah nodded in agreement, her earlier concern turning into a small smile. "Yeah, thanks, JJ. It means a lot."

Your friends expressed their gratitude, and the room soon buzzed with a mix of surprise and camaraderie. The initial somber mood lifted as JJ's decision brought a sense of unity back to the group. The impending departure felt a bit more bearable with JJ's assurance that you wouldn't be navigating the challenges alone.

JJ flashed you a grin, silently communicating that he had your back. The bond between you and your friends, despite the uncertainties ahead, remained unbroken. Once things had been establish, the rest of your friends went off to continue their packing, leaving you and JJ alone in the living room.

As you shifted on the couch, attempting to find a more comfortable position, a subtle grimace crossed your face. The pain from your side wound pulsed with each movement, a sharp reminder of the recent events. Every wince painted a story of discomfort and lingering ache, etching the toll that the night had taken on your body.

JJ, seated beside you, couldn't help but notice your struggle. His expression tightened with empathy as he observed your subtle winces. Despite your attempts to downplay the pain, he could read it in the lines on your face, the way your brows furrowed momentarily, and the way you took cautious breaths to manage the discomfort.

"You sure you're okay?" JJ asked, his voice softening with concern.

You nodded, managing a faint smile. "Just a bit sore. It'll pass."

But with each wince, it was evident that the pain wasn't something easily dismissed. JJ, ever attuned to your well-being, couldn't help but wish there was more he could do.

JJ's brow furrowed with genuine concern. "You took a hit back there. Shouldn't push yourself too hard, alright?"

You nodded appreciatively, feeling grateful for JJ's attentiveness. He shifted slightly, making room for you to lean against him if you wished. "Need anything? Painkillers, water, or maybe just someone to sit here with you?"

You considered his offer, realizing that JJ's presence provided a sense of comfort. "Just stay with me for a bit," you replied, leaning into his side. JJ wrapped his arm around you, offering silent support as you both settled into a moment of shared quietude amidst the chaos that surrounded your group.

The room buzzed with the lively chatter of your friends preparing for their departure, but in that small pocket of the chateau, JJ's presence became a stabilizing force. He remained by your side, a silent guardian, offering solace in the midst of uncertainty. The weight of recent events lingered, but with JJ beside you, there was a glimmer of reassurance that you weren't facing it alone.

JJ's gaze remained fixed on you, a storm of conflicting emotions swirling in his eyes. The anger simmered beneath the surface as he contemplated the injustice of what you had endured at Rafe's hands. Frustration, disbelief, and a protective fury welled up within him, directed not only at Rafe but also at the situation that led you to consider giving him a chance to explain.

In those moments of silence, JJ wrestled with the thought of how you deserved so much better. The torment you experienced was evident, both physically and emotionally, and it fueled JJ's determination to shield you from any further harm. He found it difficult to comprehend why you were granting Rafe an opportunity to speak, given the pain he had caused.

Yet, JJ respected your autonomy and understood that decisions, especially those involving matters of the heart, weren't always straightforward. His frustration with the situation was tempered by a deep concern for your well-being. As he continued to watch over you, a silent promise formed in his mind – to be there for you, regardless of the choices you made and the challenges you faced.

JJ cleared his throat, a gentle interruption to the heavy silence in the living room. His hand rested on your thigh, a tender gesture that conveyed both concern and a desire to comfort. In the hushed tones of a whispered confession, he opened up about the tumult of emotions swirling within him.

"I worry about you, you know?" he admitted, his eyes never leaving yours. "Seeing you like this, it kills me. I hate it. I just… I want to protect you, make sure nothing like that ever happens to you again."

His voice, filled with a raw sincerity, resonated in the room. The weight of his words lingered, hanging in the air like an unspoken promise. In that moment, JJ wasn't just expressing concern; he was revealing a profound connection that bound him to your well-being, a commitment to be the shield against the storms that threatened to unravel the fragile peace you sought.

Your hand met JJ's, a comforting union that spoke volumes without the need for words. The acknowledgment of his worry and protective instinct was met with your understanding and gratitude. Your fingers traced a gentle pattern on the back of his hand, a silent reassurance that his support meant the world to you.

"I appreciate you, JJ," you whispered, your eyes conveying a depth of emotion that words could only partially capture. "Having someone like you around, someone who cares so much… it means more than I can express right now."

In that shared moment of understanding, a subtle warmth permeated the room, a connection that surpassed the complexities of the recent turmoil. JJ's concern was met with your appreciation, forming an unspoken pact that strengthened the bond between you. The weight of the past began to ease, replaced by the solace found in the presence of someone genuinely caring—a friend, a protector, and perhaps something more.

JJ's words hung in the air, soft and sincere. His eyes bore into yours, revealing a vulnerability that echoed the sentiment behind his confession. "I really do love you," he said, the weight of those words settling in the room.

In the moment of silent exchange, a myriad of emotions danced in the air between you and JJ. His gaze, unwavering and filled with sincerity, sought a response from you. As you locked eyes with him, the weight of his words and the depth of his feelings settled into your heart.

Your own emotions were a complex tapestry—woven with the threads of pain, uncertainty, and the lingering affection you had for Rafe. Yet, here was JJ, offering you a different kind of solace, a love untainted by the shadows of betrayal.

In the quiet intensity of that gaze, unspoken words echoed. The room held a fragile balance, teetering on the edge of what had been and what could be. It was a pivotal moment, one that would shape the path forward.

Finally, after a beat that felt like an eternity, you spoke, your voice a whisper amidst the charged atmosphere. "JJ, I…" The rest of your words lingered, hanging in the air, as you grappled with the complexities of your heart.

In that charged moment, the world outside the chateau melted away as you pressed your lips against JJ's. The kiss was a fusion of shared pain, unspoken emotions, and the comfort that only the closeness of someone you cared about could bring. It carried the weight of unspoken words, telling a story of understanding and shared vulnerability.

JJ responded, his hand gently cupping your cheek as the kiss deepened, a silent exchange of feelings and a promise for the support that lay ahead. His hand held the small of your back as he picked you up, careful not to let his lips detach from yours. You wrapped your legs around him, and he carried you gently to his room, the weight of his commitment to your well-being now manifesting in the way he held you, the way he guided you towards the bed.

He placed you down onto the white comforter, his eyes still locked onto yours, speaking volumes with a silent intensity. Your heart raced faster with each passing moment, the connection between you two cemented in the shared understanding of healing, acceptance, and vulnerability.

As JJ hovered above you, his eyes still locked onto yours, you felt a wave of uneasy emotions wash over you. This newfound connection with JJ was exhilarating, but also frightening. In the back of your mind, you knew that there were consequences to every action, and your kiss with JJ would have far-reaching implications.

JJ could sense your hesitancy, and he pulled away from the kiss, sitting up on the bed with a solemn expression. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice laced with concern. "I shouldn't have done that, especially not right now."

You sat up next to him, taking his hand in yours. "No, JJ," you reassured him, feeling the warmth of his hand in yours. "You didn't do anything wrong. I want this too."

In that moment, something shifted between the two of you. You sensed that JJ had been holding back, and now he seemed freer to express the depth of his affection. You gazed into his eyes, and even in the muted light of the room, you saw the brightness of his gaze.

JJ leaned in, capturing your lips in another tender kiss. This time, the kiss was slow and gentle, conveying the tenderness that he felt towards you. His hand trailed down your side, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. You felt a shiver go down your spine, desire stirring within you.

The kiss deepened, and you found yourself losing yourself to the moment. JJ's hands were everywhere, exploring and caressing, as the heat between you two continued to grow. You felt his hand trail down your bare skin, his fingers eager to explore the contours of your body.

JJ's touch sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you. He tasted of longing as he kissed you again, his hand trailing down your curves. You gasped at the sensation of his fingers on your skin, as his hand found its way under the waistband of your pants.

As JJ kissed his way down your collarbone, you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer. While he kissed way down your collarbone, you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer. JJ's touch sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you. He tasted of longing as he kissed you again, his hand trailing down your curves. You gasped at the sensation of his fingers on your skin, as his hand found its way under the waistband of your pants.

The intensity of the moment was both thrilling and terrifying. You felt vulnerable and exposed, but JJ's gentle touch was comforting and reassuring. His hand caressed your skin with a tenderness that makes you feel cherished and safe.

Suddenly, JJ pulled away from the kiss and met your gaze. "Are you sure about this?" he asked quietly, seeking your affirmation. You nod, your eyes locking onto his.

JJ's fingers continued to explore the contours of your body, each touch sending a wave of pleasure through you. You reached out to pull him closer, craving the intimacy of his touch.

He leaned into you, kissing you with a fiery passion that melted your heart. You moaned softly as you felt the weight of his body on top of yours, every sensation heightened by the intensity of the moment. JJ's fingers traced back up your body, teasing your nipples through the fabric of your shirt. The sensation was overwhelming, and you felt yourself losing control to the frenzy of desire that was building inside you. You reached out to remove JJ's shirt, wanting to feel the heat of his skin against yours.

As JJ's shirt fell away, he pulled you in closer still, deepening the kiss with a passion you'd never felt before. The heat of his body pressed against yours, lowering any remaining defenses you had.

As the kiss broke, JJ guided you onto your back, hovering over you with intensity that made your heart race. You felt his fingers slide past the waistband of your pants, and in that moment, there was no room for fear or uncertainty. JJ knew exactly how to touch you, his fingers finding every sensitive spot and igniting a fire inside you. Your hands clenched around his shoulders, holding him closer as desire consumed you.

JJ's fingers created a symphony on your skin, resonating with the raw emotions within you. Every touch, every caress, every stroke was a step towards transcending the pain that had long haunted you. The intensity of the moment seemed to heighten with each passing moment.

You found yourself letting go, embracing the pleasure and sensations that JJ was offering you with each passing touch. He felt like a lifeline, a way to escape the pain and the uncertainty that had been consuming you.

As the heat between you two continued to grow, JJ's touch became more urgent and his kisses grew more intense. You could feel both of your heartbeats pulsing in unison, a physical manifestation of the emotional bond that you shared.

JJ continued to explore your body with his hands, his mouth, and his kisses. Slowly, he slipped his fingers under the waistband of your pants, pulling them down your legs until they fell to the floor. Then, he kissed his way down your stomach, trailing wet kisses across your skin.

You arched your back as he kissed the inside of your thighs, sending a shockwave of pleasure through your body. You could feel the heat building between your legs as your desire intensified. Finally, he leaned forward, parting your legs and dipping his head between them. The sensation of his tongue against your skin made you gasp, as waves of pure ecstasy washed over you.

JJ's tongue continued to work its magic between your legs, moving in a rhythm that drove you wild. You ran your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer as you rode the waves of pleasure that JJ was creating within you.

As the intensity of the pleasure reached a dizzying peak, JJ lifted his head, his lips glistening with your essence. He leaned forward and kissed you deeply, sharing the taste of your desire with you. You could feel his own desire rising, and in the heat of the moment, you both knew that you wanted more.

JJ moved up and over you, his body pressing against yours with a hunger that matched your own. He kissed you hard on the lips, leaving you wanting more. You could taste yourself on his lips and it drove you wild. In a move that caught you off guard, JJ flipped you over so that you were on top. He sat back, his eyes locked onto yours, with a hungry expression etched on his face. You could feel your heart racing as he pulled you close, his hands trailing down the curves of your body, every touch igniting a new flame of desire.

With a trembling hand, you reached down and unbuttoned JJ's pants. His eyes locked onto yours, smoldering with desire. You helped guide his pants off, leaving him wearing only his boxer briefs, tented with the obvious bulge of his arousal.

Climbing back onto his lap, you straddled him, running your hands over his muscular chest. You could feel the heat of his body beneath yours as his hands roamed your back. Without hesitation, you guided JJ's hardening member inside of you. Both of you moaned at the sensation of finally joining together. You rolled your hips, relishing the feeling of JJ filling you completely.

Moans filled the room as you rode JJ, feeling each thrust of his body against yours. He gripped your hips with a firm grip, guiding you to grind against him with a passionate urgency. The heat between you two only seemed to grow, the air thick with the scent of lust and desire. Every movement only intensified the pleasure pulsing between you, a symphony of desire that seemed to soar higher and higher.

JJ's hands were firmly clasping your hips, as he started bucking up into you. You threw your head back, letting out a low moan, craving more of the primal pleasure that was consuming you.

"I've been wanting to fuck you for so long, baby," JJ whispered in your ear, as he continued to drive his hardness up into you. You couldn't help but gasp in response, your eyes locking onto his with intense desire. You rode him with increasing fervor, so close to tumbling over the edge of bliss. JJ's hands found their way to your breasts, fondling them, and teasing your nipples to the point of pain.

Suddenly, JJ flipped you over onto your stomach, grabbing your hip and pulling you back into him with a force that took your breath away. You felt his hard length slide between your slick folds, every movement punctuated by the intoxicating rhythm of his thrusts.

You gripped the sheets tightly as JJ continued to drive into you with increasing passion, his hands roaming over your body, leaving trails of fire in their wake. The sounds of your moans, mingling with his grunts, filled the air, heightening the intensity of the moment. JJ was relentless, his hips slamming into yours with a ferocity that left you gasping for air.

As your body writhed beneath JJ's touch, you could feel the pounding of your heart echo through your ears. You wanted nothing more than to be lost in the moment, to feel everything that was happening to you. JJ was still slamming into you with a frenzied intensity, and you were relishing every single moment of it. You longed to be consumed by the carnal pleasure that was coursing through your veins.

"Fuck Jay, harder." You begged, your voice trembling with desire. JJ smirked before he gripped your hips tighter and increased the pace of his thrusts. His dick was hitting all the right spots inside you, sending waves of pleasure reverberating throughout your entire being.

JJ is relentless in his thrusts, seemingly driving you both to the brink of ecstasy. With every slam of his cock into you, you can feel the pressure building inside you, an insistent tug of desire that is threatening to consume you. His hands are everywhere, cupping your breasts and pinching your nipples, his lips trailing hot kisses down your back. He's talking to you, too, his voice a low, gravelly growl that only serves to turn you on even more.

"That's it, baby," he says, slapping your ass so hard that it leaves a handprint. "Take me Show me how much you want me." You're helpless to resist as he continues to fuck into you harder.

JJ's cock was now hitting you at an incomprehensible speed, the pleasure overwhelming and making your mind go blank. You felt a shuddering climax building within you as each thrust drove you closer to the edge. With a guttural cry, JJ slammed into you one last time, triggering an explosion of ecstasy that sent you spiraling out of control. Stars burst behind your closed eyelids as your body undulated wildly, lost in the throes of pure carnal pleasure.

JJ lay beside you, his chest heaving with exertion. You withdrew from him, feeling a sudden wave of fatigue washing over you. As you lay there, you could hear the sound of your combined panting reverberating off the walls, punctuated by the creaking of the bed beneath you.

After a few minutes of catching your breath, JJ stirred, reaching out an arm to pull you close. You nestled against him, feeling his warmth against your skin.

"I can't believe how good that felt," JJ murmured, his voice a low rumble in your ear. You nodded, feeling a sudden sense of elation.

JJ pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace. You snuggled into his chest, feeling content and fulfilled. The silence was broken only by the sound of your breathing.

After a few more moments, JJ spoke up, his voice a low, rumbling growl. "So," he said, "what happens now?" You looked up at him, feeling a sudden sense of nervousness.

JJ's breath mingled with yours as you lay there, tangled in the aftermath of an unexpected and passionate moment. The weight of what just happened pressed upon you, and a quiet, contemplative atmosphere settled between you and JJ.

His question hung in the air, a beacon of uncertainty in the dimly lit room. Your eyes met his, searching for answers in the depths of each other's gaze. It was a moment where time seemed to pause, allowing you to reflect on the choices made in the heat of the night.

"I don't know," you confessed, the honesty lacing your words. "I didn't expect any of this to happen."

JJ's arms around you tightened slightly, providing both comfort and a subtle acknowledgment of the complexity of the situation. As you lay there, your mind wrestled with conflicting emotions—regret, desire, and the realization that the dynamics between you and JJ had shifted in a way that was impossible to ignore.

The room remained shrouded in a contemplative silence, leaving the next steps uncertain, much like the shadows playing on the walls around you.

JJ's eyes, once filled with the remnants of passion, shifted to concern as he noticed the change in your demeanor. He propped himself up on his elbow, looking at you intently, and gently asked, "What's wrong?"

You hesitated, the weight of the moment settling in your chest. A mix of emotions played across your face as you tried to find the right words. "I… I just didn't expect this, JJ," you admitted, your voice a whisper in the quiet room.

He reached out, his fingers tracing a gentle path along your cheek. "Is it us? Did I do something wrong?" JJ's concern deepened, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort.

"No, JJ," you reassured him, offering a faint smile. "It's not about you. It's just… everything. The situation, my feelings, and…" You trailed off, struggling to articulate the swirling thoughts in your mind.

JJ remained silent, giving you the space to share what you needed. The air in the room hung heavy with unspoken words, a tangible tension that needed to be addressed.

You took a deep breath, breaking the silence with a heavy sigh. "We can't tell anyone about this," you repeated, your voice carrying the weight of your own internal conflict. The atmosphere in the room grew tense as you met JJ's gaze, your eyes revealing the turmoil within.

JJ's expression shifted to a mix of understanding and a hint of disappointment as he processed your words. He nodded in agreement, realizing the gravity of the situation. "Yeah, you're right," he replied, his voice carrying a weight of secrecy.

The room fell into an uneasy silence as the weight of the unspoken agreement settled in. The aftermath of your shared moment left a complicated air between you and JJ. The reality of the situation was now tangible, and the gravity of the choice to keep it hidden from others weighed heavily on both of you.

You placed a comforting hand on JJ's arm, attempting to ease the tension. "JJ, I care about you a lot," you began, your words carefully chosen. "But I also don't want to hurt you. If we let this go any further, it could complicate our friendship, and I can't risk losing you in my life." You could sense the conflict in JJ's eyes, a mixture of understanding and reluctance. It was a delicate situation, and both of you were navigating uncharted territory.

JJ nodded in response to your words, a forced smile on his face. "Yeah, I get it. We're good, Y/N," he said, but the disappointment in his eyes betrayed the facade of casual acceptance. You could sense the complexity of emotions, the unspoken acknowledgment that things had shifted, even if momentarily.

In that moment, a torrent of emotions swirled within you, a storm of guilt and nostalgia colliding in your heart. The memory of Rafe's vulnerable confession and the subsequent turmoil flashed vividly, intertwining with the present situation. A sense of déjà vu crept over you, echoing the past where your honesty inadvertently left a trail of emotional chaos.

The guilt pressed heavily on your chest, each heartbeat reverberating with a silent apology to those you never meant to hurt. You grappled with the complexity of emotions, torn between the desire to be truthful and the realization that your honesty had inadvertently become a source of pain for those who cared about you.

"We should get going," you spoke up, breaking the silence. "I want to say goodbye before everyone goes."

JJ, his eyes reflecting a mixture of understanding and concern, nodded. "Sure thing, Y/N. Take your time, we're in no rush."

As he assisted you into the living room, you felt the weight of his gaze on you, a silent reassurance that he was there for you still. The room filled with the sounds of footsteps and hurried movements, but in that moment, it was the quiet understanding between you and JJ that spoke the loudest.

"Hey Y/N!" Sarah greeted, partially out of breath as she carried her bag into the living room. "Where'd you guys go? We were looking for you so we could see you before we left."

You coughed in discomfort at the awkwardness of the situation. "Oh, I just had to change my gauze, and JJ was helping me." The quick explanation hung in the air, and you could sense the unspoken questions in Sarah's eyes.

Fortunately, Sarah's curiosity was easily dismissed. "Oh, okay. Well, we're about to head out. Are you sure you don't want to come with us? JJ might not be the best caretaker," she joked, her playful tone echoing in the room. JJ rolled his eyes at the comment, a smirk playing on his lips as he exchanged a teasing glance with Sarah.

"I'm sure," you giggled at Sarah's comment, "I think I'd miss it here too much if I left." JJ's gaze lingered on you, a complex array of emotions playing across his features as you continued your conversation with Sarah.

The living room buzzed with a blend of laughter and chatter as Pope, John B, Kiara, and Sarah gathered for a final farewell. The air felt charged with both excitement and a tinge of sadness, knowing that the Pogues were about to embark on an uncertain journey.

As John B announced their departure, the group dynamic shifted into a moment of shared affection. Pope, with his trademark warmth, initiated a group hug, pulling everyone into a tight embrace. Arms encircled each other, creating a human knot of camaraderie. Laughter echoed in the room as they exchanged heartfelt words, a mix of promises to stay connected, jokes, and expressions of genuine appreciation.

"You better take care of yourself, Y/N!" John B grinned, playfully ruffling your hair.

Kiara chimed in, "And if JJ doesn't feed you properly, you know where to find us."

Sarah added a touch of humor, "Don't let him make you watch too many surfing documentaries. It's a trap!"

Despite the light-hearted banter, the genuine bonds between friends shone through. The group lingered in the hug for a moment longer, relishing the comfort of each other's presence. As they broke apart, the room held a bittersweet air, a mix of anticipation for the adventures ahead and the poignant realization of leaving loved ones behind.

With smiles and waves, the Pogues gathered their bags and headed towards the van, ready to face the unknown. The door closed behind them, leaving you and JJ in the quiet aftermath, the echoes of their departure lingering in the air.

As the last Pogue left the chateau, you turned to JJ with a sigh. "I can't believe they're gone," you said quietly, a touch of sadness evident in your voice. Your gaze met JJ's, conveying a sense of longing for the camaraderie that had just departed.

JJ met your eyes, mirroring the somber mood. "Yeah," he sighed in agreement, understanding the void your friends had left behind. "It's gonna be weird without them around. But hey, at least you've got me as your personal caretaker now," he added with a faint attempt at humor, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

You managed a small smile, appreciating JJ's effort. "I guess I lucked out in that department," you replied, your voice carrying a hint of gratitude.

JJ couldn't help but smile back, a genuine warmth in his eyes. "You know I've got your back, Y/N. Anything you need, just let me know."

The quiet exchange held a subtle reassurance, a silent understanding that in the absence of your friends, you and JJ had each other. The room, once vibrant with the presence of the Pogues, now echoed with a different kind of intimacy as you and JJ navigated the uncharted territory ahead.

-

Rafe's room felt like a confined space closing in on him. The subtle ticking of the clock echoed in the silence as he paced restlessly, his mind a chaotic swirl of regret and guilt. Every now and then, he'd glance at his phone, contemplating whether to call you or not.

The weight of his actions bore heavily on him, the consequences of his impulsive behavior sinking in. He knew he had hurt you deeply, and the uncertainty of your feelings left him on edge. The internal battle waged on, torn between the desire to reach out and the fear of making things worse.

Restlessly, he ran a hand through his disheveled hair, frustration evident in his every movement. The room, once a refuge, now felt like a prison, amplifying the consequences of his rash decisions. Rafe stood at a crossroads, uncertain of whether he could salvage what was left of the connection he had with you.

The absence of your presence in his daily routine gnawed at Rafe. Each passing moment without the comfort of your smile or the soothing scent of your presence intensified the ache within him. It felt as though a vital part of his existence was missing, leaving a void that nothing else could fill.

The thought of not waking up to the familiarity of you by his side amplified the sense of loss. Rafe longed for the ordinary moments, the shared laughter, the mundane conversations that now seemed like precious fragments of a distant past. The weight of waiting and uncertainty pressed heavily on him, making the passing time almost unbearable.

In the quiet solitude of his room, he found himself yearning for the reassurance of your presence, realizing that the consequences of his impulsive actions extended far beyond a single night. The reality of his impatience settled in, a constant reminder that he had jeopardized something meaningful.

The intensity of emotions boiling within Rafe reached a breaking point, and in a fit of frustration, he unleashed his pent-up feelings on the unsuspecting wall. A resounding impact echoed through the room as his clenched fist collided with the unyielding surface.

The pain that surged through his hand mirrored the ache in his heart. Each throb served as a harsh reminder of the self-inflicted wounds he had caused, both physically and emotionally. The raw, primal yell that escaped his lips was a release of the overwhelming turmoil, a desperate attempt to externalize the agony he felt living without you.

Unable to endure the prolonged separation any longer, Rafe's impatience conquered his resolve. The minutes dragged on, each one intensifying the void he felt without you. Frustration took hold as he paced around his room, a heavy sigh escaping his lips, a testament to the mounting tension.

Finally succumbing to the longing that gnawed at him, Rafe abandoned his inner battle. Determination flickered in his eyes as he reached for his phone, fingers swiftly navigating through the contacts until he found your name. Without a second thought, he pressed the call button, a mix of hope and anxiety coursing through him as he yearned to hear your voice once more.

The soft chime of your phone disrupted the quiet of the room. You glanced at the caller ID, noting Rafe's name, and hesitated for a brief moment before answering. "Hello?" you greeted, your voice carrying a mix of uncertainty and curiosity.

Rafe, on the other end, felt a surge of relief as he heard your voice. "Hey," he responded, the weight of the recent events evident in his tone.

"I just wanted to call and make sure you were doing alright," Rafe said, a half-hearted truth apparent in his words, as if there was something more he wanted to convey.

You detected the underlying tension in Rafe's voice, and for a moment, silence hung between the two of you. "I'm… I'm hanging in there," you replied honestly, your own emotions complicating your words.

Rafe sighed on the other end, the sound heavy with regret. "I know I messed up, y/n. I can't apologize enough for what I did. It's just… I hate the thought of not being able to talk to you, to know how you're doing."

Your heart wavered at the sincerity in his words, a conflicted mix of emotions bubbling within you.

The room was dimly lit, the soft glow of a lamp casting shadows on the walls. You cast a weary glance at JJ, asleep on the couch beside you, a subtle reminder of the comfort you found in his presence. The weight of your words hung heavy in the quiet space.

"I'm still trying to process everything," you continued, your voice carrying the weariness of recent events. "I need time, Rafe."

There was a brief pause before Rafe responded, "I understand. I just… I miss you."

The ache in his voice echoed the void you felt in your own heart, and for a moment, you wished things were simpler.

"I miss you too, Rafe."

The words lingered in the air, a shared sentiment cutting through the distance. The ache in both your voices held a mixture of longing and regret, the complexities of emotions woven into the quiet admission.

"Take care of yourself, Y/N," Rafe whispered, the sincerity in his voice leaving a bittersweet imprint on the connection.

The call ended, leaving you alone in the muted room, contemplating the intricate web of emotions that bound you to Rafe and the challenges that lay ahead.

taglist: @ellesalazar, @champomiel, @vadinaleme, @kys4-20, @gills-lounge, @allsmilesreally7, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog, @sp00ky-spr1te, @bibliophilewednesday, @haroldpotterson, @i-love-rafe, @ellesalazar, @calmoistorm, @abundantxadorations, @fals3-g0d, @gillybear17, @oiiviagrande, @hockeybabe87, @augustlikesdeath, @wpdailyminimeta, @palmwinemami, @loxleys-blog, @ikisscline, @flyestvenustrap, @ilovesteveharrngton, @ijustwanttoreadlols,@wickedlovely121, @fals3-g0d

[colourstreakgryffin]

Can you do vaggie x rainbow dash-like reader plantoic headcanons?

Haha! Aww! I like this mix as well. Rainbow Dash is really a good pairing for Vaggie, isn’t she? Well. We had Charlie and Pinkie as besties, Alastor and Rarity as a couple, Husk and Fluttershy as a married couple! Let’s check this out! This is the first time I’ve written for Vaggie too! Once again, short~!

Vaggie- Bolt Spear

Now. Vaggie doesn’t trust people that easily, she doesn’t and with her big… holy secret, she especially doesn’t open up or try be friendly with anybody, except her beloved girlfriend, Charlie. She hasn’t even told Charlie her secret. Though, she is willing to tolerate people for Charlie’s sake

Vaggie, at first, didn’t like you at all. You were so loud and cocky and spunky and overconfident, you reminded her of Alastor in a weird way but due to Charlie’s pushing, she had begun to try tolerate and befriend you

It wasn’t something she enjoyed, Vaggie disliked how you behaved. Kinda arrogant, always flying that she almost asked why you even have legs. Whilst, she respected your great athleticism and your interesting ability to produce a rainbow-coloured sonic boom wave through flying. She didn’t give you any compliments

However. Vaggie ends up further befriending you, the more she holds you in the Hotel, originally at Charlie’s wish but gradually. Getting to know you goes from her just wanting to please Charlie to genuinely finding you unique and interesting

But. Vaggie isn’t good at making friends so the way she approaches you to befriend you includes a lot of trail and error, passive-aggressiveness, her throwing friendship signs like Charlie’s suggested matching bracelets at you and thinking it will work

What’s Vaggie like as a bestie? Actually. She’s a very good open ear, she listens quietly then she tries to offer support or advice to help you. She remembers a lot about you, remembers your flying habits and she doesn’t mind attending your sport tournaments. She is still tough but is willing to be a bit more gentle and understanding

Vaggie does express any annoyance she has with you, even as your closest friend. If you’re being too difficult for her, too bold and prideful. She’ll simmer you down. She’s the rationality of your friendship and the one keeping you anchored so you don’t do something stupid or reckless, out of your own extreme confidence

Yes, Vaggie comes to you during the relationship halter she has with Charlie, when everything begins to go downhill and she is revealed to be an Angel from Heaven… well. You kinda thought she was different but you didn’t really point it out. Now, that you know the truth, you aren’t as mad as everybody else is… like, at least, she isn’t a killer anymore

Vaggie is shocked that you even gave her chance but that you did, not only does she feel more comfortable with trying to confide to you… when she can, she just needs some time and she is honestly quite surprised that you’re willing to back off and wait for her

Vaggie is loyal to her girlfriend and now her best friend so trust me when I say that you reciprocating her loyalty, but to an even bigger degree. She’s grateful that she has a reliable friend and that she knows you won’t cross her, and that she has chose the right person to try be close with

Vaggie is also kinda like your manager. She takes care of you, she makes sure you don’t push yourself too far. She isn’t as intense with her care as she is with Charlie but you’re very important to her so don’t worry, you aren’t forgotten. You’re still her bestie

You two help each other. Believe it or not, you help her understand emotions and express them more whilst she teaches you to always be honest and not be fearful of disappointing your friends

Are you helping Vaggie grow? Yes. Piece by piece, hence why she prefers to be around you when she isn’t with Charlie and for that, the contrasting yet somewhat similar personalities you both share, makes you two very close and you’ve managed to break through this golden-heart angelic toughie!

By the way, she is your Applejack, the one you playfully compete with but is very close friends with~!

“Wait… you’re… still here? But. I thought you’d just— this is very dangerous. You want to stay here with us? Hehee, I guess I shouldn’t suspect anything less from you”

[merbear25]

I can't hide these feelings anymore (Ace)

Prompt 13 requested by @help-i-lost-my-sock

a/n: Thank you for sending in this request and participating in the event! I hope you enjoy what I've written for you!

CW: SFW, fem!reader, fluff, slightly angsty

As the stars shifted and colors in the skies smeared together, time held little to no significance to you. Each day held its own problems to face and expectations to up hold. When embers of doubt began spreading into more uncontrollable flames, you could always lay your trust in one person―Ace. He'd be there to ease your troubled mind, and you provided him the same comforts when everything felt a bit too hard to handle by himself.

Having to go on solo missions was something each of you took part in aboard Whitebeard's ship, although that never made it easier to say goodbye to each other. You hadn't even confessed your feelings to him, yet each moment was still held in the palms of your loving hands.

With word reaching you that he'd be taking his next mission alone, the twinge of pain was hard to ignore. "Why didn't he tell me?" you pondered. When your series of conclusions proved unsatisfactory, you took your concerns to the source.

In search for him, you had a hunch where he'd be. Stopping to allow your eyes to follow him, you proceeded with hesitation―not wanting to rock the boat your unlabled relationship coasted on.

You cleared your throat so as not to take him by surprise, "Ace, I'd like to ask you something."

Not fully turning to meet your gaze, he called over his shoulder, "And what's that?"

"Why didn't you tell me you were about to leave again?" When he didn't answer, you pressed further, "Why did I have to hear it from someone else?" Your words allowed him insight into your inner, most private feelings towards him.

Hearing the sorrow being choked back in your voice, he finally turned to face you, "I guess I got caught up in the excitement and forgot to tell you. I didn't do it on purpose, honest."

Nodding, his answer came across rather genuine, "I'm sorry. I don't know why I got so...n-nevermind." Despite trying to muster up the courage to drop the subject, you couldn't wave off your lingering woes.

"I-I just let my imagination get the best of me at times. I thought that, perhaps, this mission would be one of your most dangerous ones..."

Your sorrowful stare burned through him and he felt himself getting choked up on the words he desperately wanted to soothe you with; though he couldn't bring himself to lie to you, even if the truth would sting. "Well, it isn't exactly going to be safe. I didn't want to worry you."

"So, you did deliberately keep this from me? You lied to me!"

"I was going to tell you, eventually! I just needed to bring it up in a more gentle way."

Huffing at your disappointment in him, your words traveled without filter, "I can't not worry about you, Ace. Whether or not your journeys involve treacherous paths, I will always be holding out hope that you'll return safely and that we can be together."

The last words felt as if they were echoing over the vast seas.

Before you had a chance to backpedal, he jumped at the opportunity that'd just presented itself, "I never said I didn't feel the same way."

Exchanging bewildered looks, he inched forward, "I'm always going to come back for you." Fully closing the gap between the two of you, he cupped your face and wrapped his arm around your waist. "And one of these days I'll make you the happiest woman on Earth."

Tracing your lower lip with his thumb, he leaned into a searing kiss that the both of you surrendered yourselves to, this time sailing the waters of your relationship without any fear of knowing where the other's heart lay.

[kogratorm]

Okay, listen.

We are all deeply saddened by the situation lurking over our cubitos, but let me explain why Q!Roier's reaction is understandable and genuine. Despite his hurt caused by Q!Cellbit, I don't believe he truly meant what he said.

From a realistic standpoint, it's completely natural and not at all unreasonable to feel angry if someone from your family (especially someone you're close to) is murdered. EVEN WORSE, BY YOUR GROOM. The situation itself is incredibly absurd and it's completely valid for Q!Roier to feel the way he does as a real person.

We all joked that Q!Roier would be his fiancé’s apologist, but it's valid and real that he didn't. However, when he said "Te odio" (I hate you) in that moment, he did mean it, but not in the way everyone is interpreting it.

He hates that Q!Cellbit initially lied, whether out of fear or not.

He hates the feeling of being betrayed by Q!Cellbit, someone he placed trust in, much like he did with his friends (Q!Spreen, Q!Missa, and even Q!Quackity), as well as Cucurucho.

He hates that the story is being retold.

He hates being the one who's traumatized every time; he has experienced it multiple times, so it's only natural for him to react defensively, saying things without thinking, to protect himself.

I would even dare to say that the presence of Q!Quackity might have triggered memories of the past situation with Q!Spreen, regardless of whether Q!Quackity was actually trying to help them this time.

Does he hate Q!Cellbit?

Perhaps. Right now, he definitely hates him. He told Richarlyson that if he were to send an elegant (vent) mail, he would only say hurtful things. Because he IS in fact hurt, and that IS valid.

However, the real "hate" here is directed towards the pain he is once again enduring.

Q!Roier is so traumatized that he's already accepting Q!Cellbit as just like the others, not wanting to hear anything he has to say. To be fair, it's difficult to listen to someone who has taken the life of someone you cared about.

Unlike the others, Q!Cellbit told the truth and sincerely apologized right away when he found the courage to do so, despite being advised otherwise.

He was afraid, but he still spoke the truth.

He did it because he didn't want their marriage to be built on a lie, not when it was already heading in that direction.

If only Q!Roier knew how abnormal it is for Q!Cellbit to tell the truth and how much he would have preferred to lie his way out of it.

But he didn’t.

Q!Cellbit choose to not hold on that lie. He is fully aware that his actions were unforgivable. He doesn't expect forgiveness from Q!Roier.

bicrysis @ Twitter:

They love each other deeply, they are hurt by the mistakes they made and the damage it brought, but the love is still there. Just because Q!Roier isn't as much of a hopeless romantic as Q!Cellbit doesn't mean his feelings are any less valid. It doesn't mean that he didn't love him and doesn't continue to love him.

It is exactly because of this enduring love that the hurt runs so deep.

The depth of their love intensifies the impact of the current circumstances, making it all the more heart-wrenching. The realization that someone Q!Roier cared for, someone he entrusted with his heart after everything he went through, could commit such a grievous act... It cuts deeply into Q!Roier's soul.

But, the same love that hurts so much, might guide them through the turmoil, offering a chance for forgiveness, understanding, and ultimately, redemption.

In the midst of this tragedy, the strength of their love remains an anchor, a glimmer of hope that refuses to be extinguished. It is a testament to their resilience and the depth of their bond.

And that gives me hope. I can, indeed, see hope in that.

But only after everything that needs to be hurt is hurt.

And everything that needs to be healed, is healed.

[...] Love can be good, it can be bad, it can be hurtful, it can be joyful. Love is a compilation of every feeling a human is going to feel in their life.

[piracytheorist]

Episode 28 thoughts!

Did I say I was elated by the political commentary from one (1) line in the previous episode? This one had LOTS and I am so excited to get more into the world building!

Since this episode is mostly focused on Yuri, this post will focus on his part. The other parts are light-hearted and unrelated to the plot of Yuri's part, so I'll make a separate post for them. Maybe.

I admit, though Yuri is nowhere near blorbo territory, I am genuinely intrigued by his character and I can't help kinda investing in how his story will progress.

It's almost scary, how good at his job he is. The SSS have truly hit the jackpot with him, considering how capable he is, how dedicated he is to protect his sister, and how young and easy to manipulate.

Their wanted guy does something completely non-suspicious and tries to run out the window the moment he faces arrest, because that's exactly what an innocent person would do! Anyway, he gets ambushed by Yuri and oh my god.

Yuri please. That's not a normal face to have after throwing someone down - especially someone who actually drew a gun at you? Interestingly enough, the guy didn't draw a gun in the manga.

Then we see about the anti-East stance of Westalis, and... that's a very interesting image there.

"The Devil's Republic" instead of "The People's Republic". "The Age of Confusion" and "The truth as told by photographs". Imagery of mass graves and harsh military law. Also, Cyrillic letters on the journals to the left and right! I wonder if they're actually translatable, but in any case it's interesting that it's the West that uses Cyrillic letters along with Latin ones. I'd have loved to be a Japanese-speaking fly on the wall when they decided on those stylistic choices.

So Perkin already had issues with the law, and was using his journalism skills to rebel against the Ostanian government.

As I said, I absolutely loved that we got some political commentary on this episode, as I've been dying for some signs on how Westalis sees Ostania. And well. It's not good.

Perkin lies and constructs scenarios that fit his "Ostania is a nightmare" narrative, manipulating the audience loud and clear.

Like, look, buddy. I know Ostania sucks. I know surveillance and censorship are the death of freedom, but you don't need to go that far. It's yourself and your work you're sabotaging that way.

And he's not even... like, he then mocks the kid and tells him if he continues to "not share his toys" he will be arrested and killed? Bro, chill.

That's what happens when you join the trenches of a cold war but have no sympathy for your fellow human. Perkin mocked and terrified the boy and then he left laughing. He had no reason to do either of that.

Looks like Perkin's mother died, and her death was caused by their poverty; probably a sickness they couldn't afford proper treatment for. So he's in for it for personal reasons, though again, that doesn't justify being so mean to an innocent kid and manipulating the people of a foreign nation.

Wait, wait. Perkin says something interesting.

According to what he says, people keeping their wealth for themselves and not sharing - aka capitalism - is what the West stands for. But then he's mad at Ostania's government for forcing them to live in poverty and thus causing his mother's untimely death? What's going on, and what is his reason behind making the child fear the West? Because what he says there certainly isn't going to inspire the kid to go against the Ostanian government.

I'm leaning towards him not trusting Westalis either - and is just using them to rile them up to help bring the government down - and/or having a lot of unresolved issues that he's bursting out irrationally on a little kid, because the kid can't defend himself and is an easy target for Perkin's ire.

The fact that Yuri of all people, the personification of no control over one's feelings, got so mad at Perkin for terrifying the kid like that, says a lot.

Yuri made all of those appendices about what clothes Perkin wore and what people rode the underground train with him, so when Yuri mentioned Perkin went to the market, I expected a "See appendices for what he bought there" lmao

Interesting detail that Perkin had a cactus and a succulent, plants famous for needing very little care. The ashtray is also full. Visual commentary!

At least whatever is wrong with him is really really funny. The way his superior has caught onto that though XD

And he's conscious of it lmao

It's a good sign, if you ask me.

Lotsa books and another plant, I can't tell what it is but it's one that seems to require water and sunlight; and it's seated next to their full library!

Meanwhile, Perkin unknowingly, but unsuccessfully, reaches for Yuri's sensitive buttons. Yuri writes his sentence about Perkin probably being motivated by his care for his family... but Perkin is the enemy, you see. Maybe kinda related to what I said in my meta about Yuri's extremism, to him the "other side" are monsters with no empathy who only want to bring chaos. Suddenly he's faced with a man who threatens the safety of the country Yuri's beloved sister lives in, and with illegitimate means to boot, yet his motivation is something Yuri can relate to.

Considering Yuri got so mad at Perkin for scaring the child, I wonder what Yuri's reaction will be when/if he finds out Twilight's core reason to be a spy. That would gut him, I think.

Yuri's original notes on the paper say "Although it is still in the investigative phase, these actions may be caused by his personality and beliefs. Another possibility is hatred of a particular group or individual. However, that seems somewhat insufficient for the motive. Is Perkin [motivated] by concern for his family?"

It's easy to call a man such as Perkin a bigot and use such a narrative to explain his actions, and thus dub him the "enemy" and a "monster", along with anyone who would ever oppose the Ostanian government. So Perkin caring for his family and their future shocks Yuri to the point that he rips the paper off, deleting any signs of sympathetic view towards Perkin.

Perkin waits for his opportunity; after the mail is cleared from "suspicious" letters, he takes over from his coworker so that he can slip his very incriminating - and very misleading - "evidence" in.

Apparently people aren't too suspicious of people offering to help.

Perkin knew what he was doing, though. After his father warned him, he hesitates for a moment before the throws the letter in the cart and seals his fate.

It is pretty terrifying, though. Defamation is no joke but it's one of the things free press has to tolerate, if it wants to be called "free". Legal action can be taken after the press is out, in a public court, and investigate on how much of it is a lie and misinformation aiming at hurting someone or a group of people. Letting prejudiced and brainwashed police officers dictate what should be said and what not is at the height of censorship.

Perkin realizes he's fucked. He's terrified, but he knew what he was getting into - and he has experience with getting in such trouble, after all.

He's not a nice person, but I felt so sad when he said goodbye to his father and just... walked out to accept his fate.

Something interesting regarding the SSS is that they refer to themselves as "kokka hoan-kyoku" (State Security Service) and that's their official name for them, but the people may call them either that or "himitsu keisatsu" (Secret Police). I don't think I've heard anyone but citizens (and WISE agents) use the latter. Like earlier, when Perkin threw the toy gun in the trash, one of the boys used the phrase "himitsu keisatsu". I feel that's interesting because it may show how using the latter may be less... "respectful" for them.

When Perkin is being arrested, for example, he uses "himitsu keisatsu", and then calls Yuri "the government's dog". So that shows how much he respects them, lol.

SOMEONE SLAP HIM ISTG

Heeeey, Yuri... what if post-identity reveal Yor really really fucking loves Twilight and will be devastated if he's hurt? WHAT THEN?

But also hey, the fact that Yuri felt the need to reply to Perkin? It's a sign that this whole case had a much bigger impact on him than he expected. He put Perkin in the mould of "bad person who wants to destroy the country my beloved sister lives in, who makes his family sad" in order to avoid the possibility of relating to him.

He'll get there. He'll get there. It's a good sign he offered to request for financial aid for Perkin's father. Perkin thanking him for that speaks for what truly mattered to him.

I just love how layered everything is. Since the whole story is mainly focusing on Twilight's side, we as the audience are meant to sympathize and want peace to be secured, and for outside forces to help bring down the totalitarian government. But we're not meant to justify Perkin's behaviour, whether that's his fictional narratives or the way he mistreats innocent children, and at the same time we're meant to understand his motives were sympathetic. No-one's perfect, and the road to hell is paved with good intentions. At the same time, we're shown that Yuri, the "enemy" of Twilight's side, also has sympathetic motives and can also show empathy.

I mean, yeah, he swallows it down and replaces it with projection and coldness. But isn't that what Twilight does, too?

God, my heart fucking aches. He's twenty years old. He has his entire life ahead of him and this is where the regime lead him into. It's terrifying, and it's meant to be.

Yuri is so confident he'll catch Twilight and the director is like "Yeah whatever. If that helps motivate you." I see now why he referred to him as a cute puppy in episode 8. Yuri has very little experience and dreams very high but in a way, that keeps him motivated to work his ass off and never doubt what he's being told to do.

... Huh. Another similarity with Twilight? (sans the lack of experience)

Yeah oh my god that's even scarier. The director thinks that catching Twilight is too much for Yuri, but he allows him that "illusion" because it motivates Yuri. Fuck. Disgusting.

You'd think that a household with a spy and an assassin living in it would be using their peephole a little more often. Instead Yor looks surprised to see Yuri at the door. Like I get how it needed to be this way for the show, but it's a funny concept XD

Their outfits are so cozy! I love how they use different shades of red for Yor. And a detail!

I love how every single piece of clothing Yor owns has rose-shaped buttons. It's like she has an unlimited supply of them in every colour and just replaces the normal buttons with them. I know it's for stylistic choice on Endo's part but it's a cute little headcanon to have XD

Anya <3 she doesn't understand and she's still freaked out by Yuri's obsession with Yor but she cares <3

And that's the thing! Anya cannot understand the intricacies of what's just happened. She just reads Yuri's mind and what she gets is "He needs comfort." And she offers it T_T

ACAB but that doesn't mean one can't be a sentimental bastard. You know?

The little heart on the moon ended me. What an episode!

Overall, I loved it, especially after writing down this analysis! Not much plot-wise but I really appreciated this look into the political situation and how all of it affects Yuri - and how there's a lot in him that can help him grow.

Oh, and reminder that I'm anime only, so please no spoilers from the manga 😁

[popcaki]

Simon ‘’Ghost’’ Riley Headcanons

SUMMARY - Some of my headcanons for Ghost, MW2 was good I liked it.

He 100% has a thing for knives like the edgelord he is. Probably owns a massive knife collection, different kinds.

Like I said he’s an edgelord.

Bad driver, I mean did you see how he hit the car that was easily avoidable? He avoids driving at all costs, too afraid to admit about his terrible driving skills.

100% has big self hatred but also a big ego at the same time. 

Wears pink socks.

Good luck seeing him eat or sleep, he will disappear until it’s time for a mission. He probably travels to space for all we know to eat his packed lunch.

Owns Hello Kitty lunch boxes.

Has tried a lot of different kind of drugs at least once, probably smokes a blunt before missions. His red eyes are both due to sleep deprivation and him being high. 

Owns so many different masks and even changes it mid mission, they all have different proportions, meaning it’s not the same (totally not just a normal ingame inconsistency)

He both loves and hates attention, but if he 100% hated attention he wouldn’t be wearing a damn skull mask in the first place. He’s very extra, he likes the attention, drama queen.

He has a lot of dark jokes, but those can be just that jokes, he does them just for shock value. That doesn’t mean there isn’t any truth to them, he at least has a little bit of a twisted mind... start running NOW

He hates kids, not only because he doesn’t know how to handle them but he just genuinely doesn’t like them. Devious creatures.

Listens to ‘‘Wake me up inside’‘ type of music

Most likely likes to read stuff, requires no talking and no engaging with humans.

When he pulled off his mask, he in reality wore another mask execpt it’s shaped like a normal face.

Ok enough with the goofy ones that are kinda shitposts. Here are some genuine ones, specifcally since a lot of people seem to have the hots for him, and like him in such way. These are about any form of relationship and things like that, and how he works from my POV.

Simon when it comes to relationships and such.

I personally see him on the asexual spectrum, could be demisexual. He has no interest in sex really. Gender does not matter to him!

It would take years of building up a friendship with him, I mean that, to even be considered to be in a relationship with him. 

Even then I doubt he’d wanna get into a relationship at all, considering his work, trauma, trust issues, and general fear of loosing people.

If it were to happen, his love language is more in the form of a mutual respect. He’s not very touchy. Words of affirmation is something he would do.

Don’t touch him, even his shoulder, even if it’s with good intent. It would 100% activate a form of fight or flight response. Considering any form of ‘touch’ he has had has been from abuse or in combat.                                   

Even if it’s someone he trusts and cares for to some extent, any form of touch would make him extremely uncomfortable, he would go stiff. I can see him having sensory issues. 

I can see him never wanting to speak about his past, even to trusted people.

A relationship with him would be more friends based honestly. A queerplatonic one.

You would need to give him time with things, anything really when it comes to these things.

He would never in a million years commit the s3xy s3x during a mission or out in combat. You’re in enemy territory, being off guard is a death sentence, and he has a purely tactical mind during these times. It’s his job after all. (This isn’t against any smut fics btw! Just how I personally see him)

He can be very avoidant, distant, act all serious and edgy. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about people, he also jokes with them for example even if dark humor. Ghost joking and having conversations with Soap during the Alone mission has a real practical reason, but it’s clear as day it’s some friendship bonding time during war crimes being unfolded.

Ok if you made it here, so these are half jokes and some what I genuinely believe, again this is just how I see his character, and any other interpretation is 100% okay and valid! we all have different views and ideas. That’s what makes headcanons really fun! I really like the character and have some drawings planned.

[soracities]

how do you deal with not trying to please others and/or not caring how others see you? i'm always trying so hard, and i don't even know if i like myself

this is something that is always incredibly tricky to navigate and i admire you so much for continuing to try in spite of all that anon 💗 i think, though, that you've identified the biggest obstacle already: until we are able to genuinely like but, more importantly, fully accept ourselves as we are it is always going to be difficult to not be swayed by what others think.

i'm not saying this in the "if you don't love yourself no one will love you" vein which i think is predominantly nonsense, but what i am saying is that, until you are able to build a solid base for yourself--a base that's rooted in self-compassion, self-honesty, and acceptance of both your flaws, limitations and your worth as a person, without pitting one over the other--it is going to be hard to hold your ground and not project your own worries and insecurities about yourself into your interpretation of what other people may or may not think (and i guarantee you, most of the time they are not thinking or looking at you anywhere near as harshly nor in the judgemental way you look at yourself).

being able to fully let go of and not worry about other people's opinions relies, first of all, on trust--not so much trust in other people but chiefly trust in yourself. trust in your ability to assert your own value for yourself, trust in your ability to make the choices you make and trust in your ability to make the mistakes you make and grow from them as a result. trust in the belief and the knowledge that you are a worthy and important person, that your flaws don't undo or erase your virtues, that you can show up as you are and that this isn't something you need to mediate or dress up for someone else's approval, that you are allowed (and expected) to struggle and be imperfect without your dignity or humanity being put on trial for it.

until you are able to slowly cultivate this kind of foundation for yourself, anything else will be built on sand; an inconsequential look, or a thoughtless word from someone (regardless of how harmless it actually is) will feel like the end of the world; it'll be like a gust of wind scattering everything you are trying to do because there is very little internal resistance to meet it or even question it. it can also, in a variety of subtle ways, affect the quality of the relationships around you: if you do not trust yourself to be open and present as you are, and be accepted as you are, you will never attain the quality of the relationships you think you are protecting by showing up in whatever guise you think people most want to see. when we don't allow ourselves to say how we feel, and be who we are, when we veil that with whatever role we think will allow us to be most liked or less likely to be rejected, we rob ourselves of genuine connection--you rob the other person of being able to actually connect honestly with you, and you rob yourself of being able to connect honestly with them. showing up as who you think they want is imposing your own perceptions on them in turn and not giving them the actual freedom to live and experience the truth of their relationship with you. and if they cannot experience that truth, then neither can you. everybody has their insecurities and everybody has their own worries--most of the time these, literally, have nothing to do with you: people project and act out of their own experiences and this happens regardless of what you do. and if it so happens that being yourself does cause the judgement you fear then ask yourself: what is the value of a relationship that can thrive only on one party's dishonesty? what is the value of a relationship that requires one party be constantly hiding?

i'm not saying that any of this is easy, or that it won't take time and effort, nor am i saying that you won't have setbacks. i'm not even saying that you have to love every single part of yourself and that you've failed if you don't--but it is, right now, vitally important for you to find some way of recognizing and affirming your own value for yourself-- not in spite of your flaws but alongside them. it requires a lot of clear-eyed honesty, not for the sake of castigating yourself ("i'm not good at xyz, therefore i can never be abc") but for the sake of being able to recognize where most of your fears and insecurities come from, how they make you act, and how you can then address them in turn. it's putting the things you most dislike about yourself alongside the things you don't, it's seeing how circumstances may have hindered you and affected you badly in the past and putting that alongside everything that you have made it through regardless and recognising that you cannot (you will not) always act "perfectly" or in the way you imagined or wanted, but that are doing so in the best way you can at any given time. and it's recognising that "the best i can" looks different on different days, that they are all bounded by whatever tools you have available to you at any given moment, that you cannot do better until you know better, and knowing better is a skill you grow, slowly, gently, patiently, like a plant you tend from first seed to first leaf.

again, i know it is difficult and i'm not trying to dismiss or diminish that at all. but you will get there, anon, and one day you will get to a point where you no longer recall how difficult it was to begin because you've come so far and grown so much since then. no matter how long, or how you choose to go about this, i will be rooting for you and believing in you with all my heart 🤍

[starlightscarsyt]

Why I Adore Charuko - A Ramble/Essay from the Charuko CEO

In this...ramble...essay, I want to break down one of my biggest OTPs I've ever had in a fandom. And that pairing? Teruko Tawaki x Charles Cuevas from Danganronpa: Despair. Commonly known as either Charuko or Lucky Chemistry. It's time I talk about why I love them & what makes them click for me!

Before I get into this, I want to remind everyone that the purpose of this is not to try and convince people to like the ship or to belittle another ship. It's purely me wanting to connect with fellow Charuko fans & have fun as I just gush about this pairing. That being said, I would appreciate if you guys please be respectful & not send hate towards this post, myself, or any other people who like Charuko. This post isn't an excuse for you to be hateful.

With that being said, let's get onto why I personally love Charuko / Lucky Chemistry!

Dynamic & Current Relationship

The dynamic between Teruko & Charles is one that I find the most fun, regardless if it's in a platonic or romantic view. I'll be skimming over the prologue since it doesn't say a whole lot about their dynamic in the beginning, and I'll dive into Ch1. In Ch1 Episode 1, Teruko is assigned to explore with Charles as a means of safety, and right off the bat, there's a few scenes that give us as viewers an idea of their dynamic. And that dynamic is blunt x snark. They make constant jabs at eachother, but also sort of think alike in some areas. Neither of them wants to be with the other, but they both know that they have no choice but to tag along eachother. Shown in the screen shots below is just a few examples of their dynamic from the episode.

Ch1 Episode 1 really sets down the dynamic. Two individuals who are completely honest to eachother & have no problem taking jabs, but can easily come to agreements when it comes down to it. This is essentially their dynamic for most of Ch1, but there's a few more things to add that I hadn't mentioned yet.

• Teruko finds Charles fun to tease due to his flustered reactions. She refers to him as "cactus lover" and even makes a few witty marks at him that cause him to get embarrassed.

• Charles, while thinking Teruko is quite dumb, does acknowledge that she does have few bits of smartness in her, just not in the way that he does.

Moving on, their dynamic changes quite a bit in Ch2, which makes sense considering that in this point of time, Teruko closes herself off from everyone in order to not trust anyone again. Ch2 Episode ends off like this. Charles asks Teruko if she's heading to the second floor, following that if she needs a partner to explore with, then he'd do it, which she soon rejects.

This is later explored when Whit tells Teruko that Charles wants to talk to her in the infirmary. Teruko, while hesitant at first, does decide to go & see what he wants out of pure curiousity. When she arrives, she immediately gives herself a bad papercut from a book. Once Charles shows up, Teruko quickly hides her hand because of his fear of blood. While talking, Teruko drops a bit of her life story to Charles, telling him about how difficult her life has been up until this point, and Charles stands there and listens quite intently.

Moving on, Charles explains that he wanted give the secret he recieved from the secrets motive to her. He explains that this is because he acknowledges that Teruko is the type to reveal the truth when necessary. He knows she'd say something when it's called for. Teruko grabs the secret from Charles, and before she leaves, we get this:

CHARLES. WITH A BLUSH ON HIS FACE. STATES THAT HE LIKES TALKING TO TERUKO & TELLS HER NOT TO TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY.

While he explains that it's because she doesn't pity him like everyone else, there is still some genuine feelings about what he said.

He straights points on their dynamic, with A GODDAMN SMILE ON HIS FACE. Charles may not be the type to be all mushy with his emotions, but the fact that he smiles while thinking of his dynamic with Teruko is very sweet. After this whole ordeal, Teruko leaves with Charles going after her due to him trying to call her out on how her behavior right now is only going to hurt her like it hurt him, with it leading to beautiful gem of MonoTV pouncing on Charles.

As the chapter progresses, there isn't too much to say about Charles & Teruko's relationship until the trial. In Ch2 Episode 11, during Teruko's fight with David, she finds herself knocked in a corner. Charles notices this, and immediately slashes down David's words.

While we don't know what was discovered due to the hiatus & the rest of Ch2 being worked on, it can be said that Charles noticed something Teruko didn't, and thinks they'll be in for a big mess.

So, what is their current relationship? Overall, it's a mixture of two snarks who are always being snide to eachother, but also individuals who are foils, thinking similarly in more ways than one.

Aesthetics & Cuteness

On top of me jusy adoring their dynamic, I'm also in love with the aesthetic & overall cuteness this ship brings.

The color palettes.

I'M A SUCKER FOR PURPLE & GREEN COLOR PALETTES, SO THESE TWO HAVING THOSE PALETTES IS SO LOVELY TO ME! Their palettes together can make for some beautiful art, especially if it's themed around nature. On top of that, you could put them in eachother's signature color, and it'd look really pretty! It's so aesthetically pleasing, and it gets me all giddy!

Also, they really are just so cute together! I adore ships where the pairing feels like an old married couple, and they def feel like it! Just a pairing who make fun of eachother & are just kinda silly!

THEY ARE ALSO SOSOSOSO AESTHETIC OUTSIDE OF THEIR COLORS! Like, I could put them in settings like a cottage or a forest, and they'd look so pleasing together! It'd just be so beautiful, EEEEE!

Headcanons + Conclusion

To end off this lil' ramble / essay, I'mma just drop a buncha Charuko hcs! I hope you had fun reading this! NOW ENJOY THE HEADCANONS, WEEE!

• They usually go on picnic dates, indoor dates, or baking dates!

• Charles loves to style Teruko's hair in different ways. He thinks almost any style would look pretty on her.

• Teruko tries to get into things Charles likes, such as gardening or reading. She'd just want to try and connect with him more!

• On their shopping dates, Teruko always asks Charles for his opinion on any outfit she chooses to buy / wear. He gives his honest opinions, but also reminds her that he thinks anything could look good on her.

• They're very much touch-starved, so they cuddle a lot when nobody's looking.

• GIRLFAILBOSS X MALEWIFE VIBES!

• Cottagecore softies on a nice day...Let Teruko be more girly & Charles embrace a softer side.../pos

[theflyindutchwoman]

Has he tried anything? No, but I can handle it if he does. I know. Yeah, knowing and feeling okay about it are two different things. Look, it's not my first time. I know. It's probably what makes it worse. All right, now's not the time to talk about this. I know you'll bail on the operation if you don't feel it's safe. So if you are good, I'm good. I'm good. Good. I gotta get back to the station. Grey's waiting for a status update. Wait, no, hey. Lock the door first.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.21 - Going Under

This hug alone is already enough to make this moment special… But the mirroring of this scene with their 'hookup' in the private jet in Double Down elevates it that much more. The difference being that, now, they don't need to pretend it's for anyone but them… Just like then, they both need to draw comfort from each other… Lucy practically running in Tim's embrace betrays how both of them crave that physical reassurance that they're alive and unharmed. Hearing the other's voice on the phone earlier wasn't sufficient to dispel their fear and worry. And while she isn't aware of his own scare, her quivering voice shows how affected and shaken she is by the night's events. It's a short moment - they're still on the job after all - but it was what they needed.

And just like then, Tim offers Lucy the option to pull the plug, still without forcing her hand. This always comes from a genuine place of respect. He might be terrified but he trusts her to know if she can handle it. That said, it's clear that the shooting isn't the only thing in his mind. The fact that he has to compose himself before asking if Teska has tried anything makes it clear that this is something that has been weighing on his mind, probably since she left the hospital room. He's hesitant at even bringing it up. I love how swift and adamant Lucy is in her answer : she doesn't hesitate before putting his worries to rest. She immediately goes to grasp his jacket, a gesture she usually does to ground herself, but this time, this is meant for him. She doesn't dismiss his concern either : she understands where he's coming from. Like she says : knowing and feeling okay about it are two different things. As much as he tries to reassure her, she sees right through him. She knows him… and she is aware that he's been down that road before, which as she states, makes it worse. She's trying to start this conversation, to address the elephant in the room again, but he's not ready yet. He's also not wrong : this isn't the time or place. But his deflection and the way he's looking away proves that she's right on the money. And she knows it… That's why once the op is over, once they're back home, she doesn't let him skirt around the truth any longer. It's also telling that when he gets uncomfortable under her scrutiny, he tends to change the subject and focuses on her instead. Reiterating his faith in her… He said she was different and he meant it. But most importantly, he wants her to know that.

And just like then, Lucy doesn't want to severe their connection just yet. It's as much for him than for her. It's a mix of adrenaline rush and a need for comfort… To reassure themselves. To find solace in the other's embrace. The way she grabs him is so similar… Only this time, they don't have to stop… And he catches on quickly… His little smile says it all. And who would have ever thought that this would be our 'reality'?! That these two would actually hookup in the middle of an op?! With the blinds open! While Grey is waiting for an update… That's how much they needed that moment for themselves.

[reborn-illusion]

I'm actually so fascinated by this scene, because is shows so clearly who Tinn and Gun are and how they operate.

They're both deeply uncomfortable from the start.

Gun's approach is to then put on a cheerful persona, learned by not wanting his mother to worry or feel troubled about him. I think it's partially in the hopes that it will ease Tinn's discomfort and partially because he genuinely doesn't know how else to be in these situations.

But this is not what Tinn wants or needs. He goes along with it though, because he cares so deeply for Gun and doesn't want to let go of what they do have. It might also be his resolve, after feeling so rejected and heartbroken the day before, that he must accept their situation for what it is. These are his first attempts of 'getting over' Gun.

The scene they have to act out then becomes something completely different for the both of them. For Tinn it's a cruel reminder of what he thinks might never be, and painful because this is not how he had envisioned any form of intimacy with Gun to go. It's fake. And it's certainly not what friends do, so how could Gun do any of this after just having declared so loudly that that's all they are?

But for Gun this is the first time he can 'safely' explore all these feelings he's been having! He stated several times before how scared he was for the truth. For the real deal. For the reality of Tinn liking him, and him liking Tinn back. For the possibility of him being wrong and misinterpreting everything. Scared of the loss that comes with love, scared of the rejection.

But within this make-believe setting he gets to feel what it would be like to kiss Tinn's cheek. He went off script for it and everything! He really grabs the opportunity to experience what a 'more than friends' dynamic with Tinn would be like, without the consequences of having to explicitly ask him if he wants to be more. Or having to confess that that's what he wants, even to himself.

And then he does admit he likes it! But of course there actually are consequences, because for Tinn this experience was awful. What felt safe for one felt painful for the other...

So Tinn breaks, and Gun's bubble bursts... But they finally talk! Them acting for the MV needed to happen for both of them to take the next step. For Tinn to truly realise that honesty and sincerity are the only way forward for him. And for Gun to realise what it is he feels and wants and to meet Tinn there and to put his trust in them.

Tinn's confession comes so easily now. No more fear or hesitation. In some ways probably because he has already accepted that they'll never be together. But then Gun confesses too! So reminiscent of Time's confession in 2gether!

Plus the next line "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to act like I was your friend today?" saying that pretending to be 'just friends' was hard, but acting like they were more than that came easy!

And so, if it's impossible to pretend to be friends, why force it?

And they are even now! On even ground, equal footing, uncharted territory for both of them. And they'll get to explore all of this together!

[finelinens]

Hey, about your media literacy post—which was very well done—I totally agree that we sort of unable to trust other users or institutional opinions right now. So the way I see it, the option left to us that is to learn to trust ourselves. Learn to pay attention to the way truth feels when we ourselves say it (on any topic, especially the tiny ones), what it sounds like, and what untruth feels like when we also say it (the instances where we say things we don’t mean). A focused study of truth in ourselves makes it easy to recognise in others and other situations.

For example, I’ll now know when my answer to a maths/logical question is wrong, because it feels/sounds like not the truth, even if it’s what I have logically deduced and therefore ‘should’ be right. So then I’ll know to stop and rethink until I do find the right answer, I’ll realise my logical thinking was off, which I recognise because it feels like the truth when I see it. (This is all easy to prove because they’re all maths / logic questions, for example. It works. And then extrapolate this concept.)

It’s interesting that in the past many would have dismissed this approach due to its seeming lack of objectivity—but it is glaringly obvious now that trying to form an opinion based off ‘objective’ evidence is just not going to be possible (and I’d argue, it never was). So, this is my approach of some tools to which to turn. Honestly, it’s the only way out that I see. Increasingly I am realising truth is not a set of facts, which can be easily manipulated, or which are scientific fact one day and not the next, but rather this total calm knowing which goes beyond all need for argument. I feel like if you can just calmly smile in an argument rather than argue back, you’re probably closer to the truth.

i debated a lot about whether or not i should post this message at all but it might be a good thing to talk about, so i'll post it for now

the thought process you described here has the potential to be really unbelievably dangerous, so i hope you can try to hear me out here. the truth "feeling" like the truth is such an incredibly subjective thing and is 100% vulnerable to your own biases. at one point in my life, the "truth" according to my feeling was... just not true at all. the "truth" according to my feelings was that transgender people were mentally ill and just needed some sympathy and help in order to get better. i genuinely felt this, and, like you described, it felt true and right. it was not true or right, though; my perceived "truth" was not truth at all, it was just ignorance entirely influenced by my own biases and fears. the way of thinking you described in your message is exactly what leads people to believe that their thoughts borne of ignorance are true and right, no matter what, because they feel right. of course they feel right! ignorance is comfortable! you could absolutely debate the validity of objective truth as a concept, but purely functioning on a vibes-based moral and ethical system is just accidentally giving yourself permission to remain ignorant or bigoted.

i apologize if my original post wasn't clear enough, as i said, i was just writing out my thoughts unedited! i wasn't trying to say that since there is no way to verify information anymore, we should just give up and go with our guts. i was saying that information is becoming increasingly more difficult to verify, so i'm nervous about the future of education and information gathering. i don't have a proposed solution, i'm just expressing fears that are widespread nowadays. a possible solution to this frankly existential issue is something i think about a lot, and i'm glad to see many others thinking about it too.

hopefully this makes sense, and hopefully it prompts you to reflect on your philosophy about your relationship with truth!