#like they're not bad parents. they just suck at being comforting figured

[mishkakagehishka]

My stomach hasn't stopped turrrrrning sbbsbsbssnsnsn

[hestzhyen]

Food in the Edgy Sword Manga: A Summary

This is long because I hit the image cap but I at least managed to keep things succinct for once in my life.

In short: Kagurabachi has been using food as obvious symbolism for connection, trust, general well-being, and/or mutual understanding since the beginning.

Chapter 1

Moments like these are cherished memories that Chihiro keeps close to his heart. Note his relaxed, open posture compared to the next image.

Three years later, Chihiro is turning down Mr. Shiba's small offer of comfort. He still relies on Mr. Shiba and cares a great deal for him, obviously, but his heart is closed off now.

Vs. Sojo Arc

Chapter 3

Our first obvious glimpse into the kind nature Chihiro tries to smother with edginess. He'll turn down comfort from others but he'll easily offer some to a scruffy orphan. He even makes sure he gets down to her eye level to reassure her when doing so (Hinao also did the same earlier in the chapter). Take notes, Mr. Shiba.

World's Hardest-Working Uncle Figure doing the clarifying monologue shtick to perfection as always. Just so we know that this bit with Char is perfectly in-character for Chihiro.

Char doesn't trust Chihiro yet, but she's willing to help him with his own quest at least. They connected over the meal (short-lived as it was).

Chapter 5

Chihiro being run ragged by a hungry, lonely little girl should trounce any lingering doubts that this guy is an uncaring revenge bot. You can tell by his thoughts and dialogue here that despite his brusque attitude, he's more focused on Char's quirks and well-being than the information she can offer him. And Char reciprocates by starting to let her guard down- his altruism when providing security and comfort gets her to trust him completely.

Again food being used to reference someone's well-being. Living as a science experiment in captivity was terrible even when she still had her mom (obviously). But Char's safe now with access to good food through Chihiro. Or so she hopes.

Chapter 6

Chihiro's cherished memories of his dad are corrupted thanks to the trauma sorcerer. A meal interrupted, trust and safety shattered. Only hatred is left according to Chihiro when he comes to. ...But he's not exactly the most trustworthy guy when it comes to his own status.

Instead of the science lab or the cell itself we see a tray of indistinct mush and water in a cage. Just a gentle way of bonking us over the head that the food metaphors are supposed to be obvious- and that whatever is waiting for Char back there with Sojo is not good for her (or anyone really).

The comfort Chihiro offers is a bit awkward and messy, but it's still wholesome as fuck. He's willing to give it at his own expense too. Someone please give this boy a hug.

Chapter 11

Poor Mr. Shiba. One day he'll find someone who appreciates his awkward attempts to help people. At least Hinao didn't turn him down despite the poor presentation.

Between this scene and the grilled smelt from Chapter 1, it's pretty obvious that Shiba sucks at trying to be a source of comfort, but at least he tries.

Alone and back to being mistreated. Oh, Char...

Chapter 15

Just like Chihiro, this represents the precious memories Char has of her mom. When she was safe and loved.

And once again, safety and comfort are brutally ripped away from a child and their only parent.

... but what was lost can be found again in the right people.

May nothing bad ever happen to Char again. I mean it.

Chapter 17

Ah, one of my favorite tropes! Interrupting a fierce battle scene to show the combatants having a casual chat! This time, there's no comfort or security to be had through sharing food, though. Instead, this is exchange is purely about connecting and understanding each others' views.

A bit of trivia: these guys are probably eating hanami (a.k.a. sanshoku) dango which are usually eaten while viewing cherry blossom trees in the spring. They're sweet and thus extra unappetizing for Chihiro (he dislikes sweet foods and drinks in general).

Sojo initiates and eats a single dango. He begrudgingly accepts that Chihiro's view of Kunishige's legacy is legitimate.

As the conversation goes on, Chihiro accepts Sojo's interpretation in turn. Both of them are correct. And yet:

Chihiro painfully finishes his dango while Sojo is content to leave just the first one eaten. This is Chihiro being willing and able to swallow the whole truth and all it's implications, no matter how unpleasant the experience is. Meanwhile Sojo cares more about being the one with the "most correct" interpretation. Chihiro ended up getting more out of the conversation than Sojo did, which gave him the edge he needed to win the fight.

And that's the end of the Vs. Sojo arc. The food references aren't as common past this point, but they still show up to give some extra context in a few scenes.

Rakuzaichi Arc

Chapter 19

Hakuri's just a fuckin' mess dude- alone, insecure, and can't give himself any kind of reassurance. Given what what we can infer from his monologue, it's pretty obvious this guy is going through it and not coping as well as he thinks he is.

Chapter 26

Our spaghetti queen and parfait king share a meal to let us know that they're pretty comfortable with each other... though outsiders might not get what their deal is. It's casual and they chat like they've known each other for a while. Tafuku and Hiyuki's relationship is solid despite the yawning chasm between their personalities.

Once again Shiba's good intentions are turned down. At least Char is comfortable enough to let Team Goldfish know about her wants and needs now though!

Meanwhile, Hakuri isn't ready or willing to let anyone console him, but least we have better insight as to why he struggles to keep his shit together. Most people would- and we haven't even seen the worst of his circumstances yet.

Chapter 28

After a few days of encouragement from Chihiro and helping out, Hakuri finally lets himself be treated a little. He earned himself a bit of security and respite but is still uneasy, and thus quick to let the warm fuzzies go (hence passing the ice cream to Char instead of bringing it with him). Neither Chihiro nor Shiba have any themselves.

Chapter 35

Oh man. Oh boy. Time to really get into why Hakuri is the way he is. This could be a whole post by itself but I'll try to be brief. (Honest.)

Shout out to the KB Confession account on Twitter for letting me ramble in their inbox with that long-ass submission about how Hakuri relates to food in this series. I've reworked it poorly here (so much for being anonymous I guess).

Sazanami prison food looks better than what Char was getting, but it's not out of kindness- everything in this place exists for the Rakuzaichi. Hakuri obviously sees himself as no different. He threatens to keep Ice Lady alive no matter what she wants because that's his job; there's no affection or compassion involved when he provides her meals.

Ice Lady seems to want to genuinely connect with Hakuri though. Even when she fails to manipulate him, she keeps the offer of companionship open to him since she's empathetic to his situation.

It works as she thought it would, but maybe not as she hoped. We see him coming to trust and find comfort in her as she leaves less food behind each time, but she's unable to find the same in him. His insistence on their one-sided relationship through food only pushed Ice Lady further and further away despite her apparent growing affection for him. He got it all wrong because he didn't know any better. It's painful to love and be loved as a Sazanami- especially a worthless defect like him. Hakuri wasn't able to understand the ramifications of how fucked up his situation was until Ice Lady slit her throat in his face.

Up until this point, providing food was a positive thing- people connecting and usually finding comfort. At the bare minimum it allowed Chihiro and Sojo to understand each other before the end. But Hakuri inverted and distorted the meaning of sharing food with someone. His actions helped him break free from his family's grip by revealing that he doesn't know what it means to properly offer and reciprocate genuine human connection. So now Hakuri probably associates sharing food with being used and hurting other people.

That's why we haven't seen him share a meal with Team Goldfish or anyone else yet IMO. For all that he's attached himself to Chihiro, he still hasn't exchanged any food with him. Hakuri only trusts that Chihiro saw something worthwhile in in him, that through him there might be hope outside the cage after all. He's barely beginning to see himself as a useful tool. Once he gets to the probably not a horrible human being mindset is where we might see him be able to open up and try to share food again.

Chapter 43

The normal loving family that could have been, if not for Kyora and the clan's slavish devotion to the Rakuzaichi. It's sad but not suspicious that Mrs. Sazanami isn't included much in the meal- all signs from this chapter point to a joyless arranged marriage after all. Her not participating with her husband and sons speaks volumes about how distant and miserable she must have felt despite (presumably) making that spread. To provide care, comfort, and love while not being able to partake of it is all too common for mothers.

And so, another arc concludes with people sitting down to eat together despite some of them being doomed to die. And an exploding building. Gotta have both in Kagurabachi.

Kamunabi Arc

Chapter 45

Hey Chihiro, whatever happened to waking up with fresh hatred every morning? lmao

I love these goofs so much. It's just snacks on a coffee table, but it shows that Hiyuki and Tafuku have earned some level of trust from Team Goldfish. Shiba trusted them enough to supervise their stay in the same room as his sleeping nephews at least. And Char's already completely won over apparently. This manga does not miss on the found family wholesomeness.

Hiyuki might see the Kamunabi as a sort of family. At the very least, they're an important safety net for society as a whole. Hence us seeing the food again- protection and security.

So who and what will be next? Chihiro bonding with Hiyuki and Tafuku? Kazane turning someone's offer down? Chihiro, Hakuri, and some new coworkers chatting over lunch in the Kamunabi's cafeteria? I'm definitely going to be on the lookout! Until next time, Bachibros.

[imagine-silk]

Any headcanons for how yandere Peter B Parker and yandere MJ would be with a platonic teen obsession who struggles with hand tremors that get really bad? We're still trying to figure out what's causing my tremors but they suck lmao. It got so bad a few days ago that I couldn't turn the pages to a book or type properly. My hands are constantly trembling to varying degrees and it sucks

》Every time I write for someone having an illness I worry about being disrespectful so if anyone has an issue please contact me. Also, I'm going to assume you mean AtSV.

They will not stop touching your hands. It's sadistic but they like how weak it makes you feel. You need them and it feels good to be needed. They'll help you with a smile, cooing comfort to hide the fact they're celebrating on the inside.

Peter will see them shake and grab them to twirl you, then pull you in a weird dance. Or if you're struggling with a book he'll have you sit on his lap to help turn the pages. You can protest but he doesn't really care, he has a mission and a few rewards.

MJ will hold your hand a lot. Who else is supposed to protect her while you're out and about? She can't put you in her lap, you're probably too big for her, but she'll sit next to you, practically squishing you, to help you write anything.

You're not allowed in the kitchen, period. There are knives, and the stove, you could slam the fridge on yourself, or so much more. If you're particularly convincing you can promise it just sit on the counter.

Eating can be difficult but that's what you have overbearing parents for. Out of all the ways they treat you like a child this is not the most embarrassing, I promise. Though it does get more embarrassing when Mayday catches on and starts trying to feed you too.

Speaking of Mayday, she plays with your hands a lot. She doesn't know what that means in the slightest. She'll put your hand in her mouth or just pull on it, sometimes she puts it on her head and gets mad if you take it back. As she grows, she sees how difficult things are and helps you, not always actually helping but the thought is there.

They look into things they can do to treat/help you but then have a talk about it by themselves. On one hand it would make you a bit happier and make your life easier. On the other it makes your life easier and they don't want to lose an excuse to give you affection. But on the other other hand they want you healthy. There are a lot of hands they go through so a decision will take time.

[tearsinthemist]

People In Their 20s Are Sharing The Hardest Pills To Swallow About Becoming An "Adult"

BuzzFeed

Sat, September 7, 2024 at 8:57 PM CDT·5 min read

As we grow up, we see things differently. How we look at the world at 25 is vastly different from how we view life at 13. And as we age, we are forced to come to terms with difficult things. So Redditor u/BluebirdIll6390 asked, "What's the hardest pill to swallow in your early twenties?" Here's what people said, including members of the BuzzFeed Community, about the toughest realities of aging into your 20s and beyond.

1."For me, a hard pill to swallow was realizing how much I actually have to make to have the lifestyle to which I was accustomed and how far I was from that as a recent graduate."

2."You have to become the driving force making the next steps of your life happen. There’s a pretty clear, direct pipeline from childhood to university. After that, it's all open. A lot of people get stuck floating around in post-college purgatory, waiting for something to happen, but you just have to be the one to make those things happen now. It’s very easy to get sucked into the rhythm of the first job you get out of college, setting up wherever you’re situated, having ideas of what you’d like to do with your life with no urgency to get started because you’re under the false assumption you’ve all the time in the world. You’re young, but the days are long, and the years are short. Don’t wait to start living."

3."Some careers don't start till you're in your 30s."

4."My dad told me that the older I got, the smarter he would seem. It turns out he was right all along."

5."True friends are hard to find. They're not the friends you party with. Not the friends you hang onto because you 'have a history even though you don't have much in common anymore, or they treat you like shit. The true friends who will love you for who you are. It took me a long time and a lot of heartache to learn this one, but my best friend at 35 has enriched my life in ways that my old contingent of 'friends' never could."

6."The hardest thing for me was realizing that some of my friends and family were objectively bad people who would never change and/or grow up."

7."You have to decide what you want to eat for every meal for the rest of your life."

8."Your parents are getting older and won't be here forever."

9."You will either cultivate habits, willpower, study, exercise, and routines for success, or you will slowly watch yourself fade. No one is protecting you from yourself anymore."

10."This is likely the best your body will ever feel. Put in the work now, and your body will thank you. I'm talking about flexibility work, strength work, skin and teeth."

11."Being an adult isn't nearly as exciting as I thought. While I love my autonomy, I don't love my bills or responsibilities. The fact is, every stage of life has its pros and cons. Nothing is ever perfect, but that's okay."

12."Remember how, as a kid, a year took forever? Like the week after Christmas, had this crushing reality that it would be forever before it happened again? Now, remember how fast this last year went? Yeah. That's your life. You'll be 30, wondering what happened to time. It just keeps getting faster. Don't try to speed through, even in the bad times. Take time. Don't live for the weekend, don't put things aside for 'another time.' People say you won't be young forever, but nobody prepares you for how short 'not forever' it actually is."

13."Your comfort zone quickly becomes a prison if you indulge in it. You need to push your boundaries and only fall back into your comfort zone when you absolutely need it. Staying in your comfort zone will breed anxiety when you leave it. You have to put yourself into uncomfortable situations to build up resilience for the future."

14."That feeling of being a kid who is just figuring shit out never actually ends."

15."Realizing that adulting is a full-time job with no time off."

16."At the end of the day, you are on your own. No parent, teacher, or camp counselor will swoop in, resolve conflicts, and guide you to the next step. You have to figure it all out. You can ask people for advice, but the problems are infinitely more complex and never have a 'right' answer, only a 'best we can figure' answer given what you have available. Yes, close friends or a significant other can be there to aid you when you need help with projects, moving, or a shoulder to cry on. But at the end of the day, it's your life, and you must steer the ship."

17."All the fun of going to school, having summers off, having 'breaks' for fall or winter...that's just about over. Time to go to work every day until you're ready to retire. Hope you enjoyed your school years!"

18."'You can be the sweetest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will still be people who don't like peaches.'"

19."My parents were right: A boring life is a happy life."

[cordycepsfem]

Pageboy Readthrough, Part Thirteen

I've had some reminders lately that I have yet to finish this slog of a book. Tonight I'm in a mostly good mood, so let's wreck it with some more reading.

Previously

EP thinks about telling off her stepmother and father but never does

she says that the thought of confronting him makes her feel like she was "going to shit blood"

EP talks about friends she made who were oddballs like her

she ruins this by claiming that she stopped being friends with one due to her changing interests, which were more mature than this friend's interests and therefore better

Now

Chapter Nineteen

we start off on a great foot, talking for four sentences about an Old Navy store before doing a complete 180 to talk about her mother's hard life

EP's grandparents - mom's parents - are both dead by the time Mom is 20

EP has an aunt - Heather - who comes to live in New Jersey

when EP goes to New Jersey they watch British comedies together

for some reason EP eats ants

your writer is wondering when the hell we'll get back to Old Navy

ah, there it is

cousins EP sees at Aunt Heather's tell her that she doesn't dress like a girl (which doesn't mean anything), so EP asks her mom to take her to Old Navy

Mom's "enthusiasm spread like bong smoke getting you secondhand high" (131); nice metaphor

EP uses the expression "speaking a kilometer a minute" which I will definitely have to ask my Canadian friend if is a real expression

this part is particularly heartbreaking because I remember a lot of shopping trips like this with my mom

I didn't feel like I belonged in the dressing room and the clothes never felt like they fit

right now I feel the same way - I don't feel like I recognize the body I see in the mirror

I'm giving a presentation at a work-related conference in April and I'm already trying to figure out what I'll wear

anyway, this is a terrible feeling, and girls should never have to feel this way; clothes should never be a reason they feel "difficult and selfish"; they deserve to have comfortable clothing that fits them well

EP does not live in an igloo

EP reminds us that femininity feels like a puzzle or a game that no one can win at

EP wants to please her mom by being an Old Navy girl, but it doesn't feel like her and she isn't sure she can keep it up

Chapter Twenty

EP is in tenth grade and likes a girl

she tries to like a boy instead and ends up humping him on some gym mats; she also sucks his dick even though she isn't into it

EP is bad at French

she buys the girl - her crush - a mildly suggestive birthday card

the girl likes it

EP remembers a time she made a mix CD for a woman in her thirties who she worked with and how she felt embarrassed

she and her crush smoke weed in a tree house

they spend lots of time together but nothing really ever comes of it

eventually they drift apart

EP feels like it's because she couldn't lean in and take what she wanted

time to lean out and do a little real writing tonight

Part of me wants to print this book out and cut it up and put it into chronological order to see if it makes any more sense. The other part of me is just frothing to be finished with it.

Reading this part made me remember the first time I wore new clothes from The Gap to school. The jeans were too long in the legs and dipped too low at my waist. I kept pulling down the tank top I wore to cover it. It was too warm to keep my sweatshirt on all day and even then I knew I didn't like how my arms looked. I also didn't want anyone to see my underarm hair, because I didn't shave it.

I looked like my classmates, but I never felt as comfortable as they looked. And now I still sometimes feel just as uncomfortable, even though I buy all of my own clothes and they're - usually - bought to make me as comfortable as possible.

Now EP is wearing Gucci. I hope it's comfortable.

[thestobingirlie]

do you think jonathan and nancy were equal trainwrecks in st3? you've spoken really well about how nancy bulldozed over him a lot, ignoring the dark room rules and continuing with the investigation even when he said it was a bad idea, and of course after they're fired she shows 0 sympathy for what it means for him financially, but i've always thought if nancy was bulldozer then jonathan was just a doormat, and kind of a two-faced one at that

before they fell into the investigation, he did ignore the sexism nancy faced. the support he offered was passive "they're assholes, but you'll win them over some day", when later during their argument he said she was naive for caring what they thought and thinking she could be a star reporter. when nancy says the whole summer had been humiliating, he likens it all to them being interns, when he was actually treated really well at the job. he's obviously faced shitty treatment in the past from his father, and probably at school and around town, but at the paper he was left alone to do the work he was hired (and interested) in doing, and then didn't have any focus on him when they were being yelled at, even though from the newspaper's perspective he did the exact same amount of bad as nancy (or more, considering nancy was laughed off of any other responsibilities than fetching food; jonathan was treated as an actual employee with a work station he abandoned)

it sucks that only jonathan apologized (though only for not believing in nancy, instead of also entirely blaming her for choices he also made), not just because nancy also fucked up but because it's just more of the same of jonathan not actually being honest with nancy and shows how their characters just don't help each other grow or develop

oh 100%. neither jonathan or nancy are good in their relationship in s3, which i think is what really turned me off to them together.

jonathan is absolutely a doormat. i think it comes from his years of parentification. he doesn’t stand up for himself until he’s finally pushed to the edge. which in s3 happens when they get fired, and he unleashes what he’s likely been feeling and thinking this entire time.

he whines about nancy coming in the dark room, but doesn’t actually try to stop her. he tries to cheer nancy up about how she’s treated, but doesn’t actually do anything to stop it, or make her situation better because he’s too scared to rock the boat. he didn’t want to go along with her rat plan, but did anyway!

he’s just really terrible at standing up for himself, which is a major issue when in a relationship with someone like nancy, who does what she’s set her sights on and doesn’t really listen to other people.

and when it comes to the sexism, i think, like nancy when it comes to the byers poverty, he has a hard time recognising what he’s never experienced.

i think it also might come from this aspect of jonathan’s character that’s been present since s1, which is that he doesn’t really recognise ‘normal’ issues. this is hard to put on paper, but basically we see that he doesn’t take nancy seriously, he thinks she’s just like everyone else, who has the same issues with her parents that everyone else does and she’ll eventually fall into the same miserable dynamics.

i think this comes from the way jonathan retreats from society and casts himself as a loner. he can’t fit in, so he has to dismiss everyone else, and he can’t take them or their trauma seriously. because that kind of means acknowledging them as people in a way he doesn’t want to do.

think back to s2, the way he comforts will is that nobody likes boring people, and that sticking out and being different is the only way to be cool and loved.

i think jonathan just can’t really comprehend nancy struggling because in his eyes, she has it all. she’s got the house, she’s got the dad making six figures, her parents are together. when she complains, i think he sometimes gets stuck thinking about how much she has, instead of what she’s still missing.

i hope i worded that right? it’s kinda jumbled in my head. i don’t think jonathan necessarily thinks his trauma makes him special, but i think he struggles to look past his trauma when considering how other people struggle.

my biggest issue with how rushed their apologies were, isn’t just that nancy doesn’t take back the oliver twist comment, but because we don’t actually get that chance for jonathan and nancy to truly talk about what happened, and their issues, and how their relationship falls apart the second they experience conflict. obviously people say, “oh they’re about to be attacked, of course it was quick”. but, the duffers could’ve had them had a conversation whenever. they go back to hopper’s cabin and spend all night here! they couldn’t have had a talk when everything calmed down?

in my opinion, jonathan and nancy are just two people that, because of their trauma and the way they approach relationships, shouldn’t be together. until they truly work through all their issues and develop as characters, they won’t have a healthy relationship. and that’s because of both of them, not just nancy, and not just jonathan.

[savepc2023]

You asked for crumbs of my boyo, time for me to ask back. CAN WE GET SOME BACKSTORY OR FUN FACTS ON BRYNN? This odd pretty boy. I need to know him.

Also, for funsies. Which one of your PCs do you think would most likely end up in prison? Which one would most likely get kidnapped? Which one would most likely become a parent (becoming a parental figure works too)?

Most likely to end up in prison:

.. Angel😮‍💨 She mostly stays away from stealing people's stuff(unless they were trying to rape him, then they don't feel bad anymore and just steal everything they can), but he'd most likely go to prison because of.............drum roll pls............✨violence✨. Angel is a rather emotional character, unlike my other PCs. She sees something wrong being done and he will step in, and to a much higher degree.....beat the shit out of you.

They're lucky she hasn't gone to prison yet.

Most likely to get kidnapped:

Brynn. Now Angel's the one to get canonically kidnapped, but if we push that aside then Brynn. He's famous. Really famous. And really pretty, too. So here's the thing, his fame as a model outweighs his sex fame, but even the model photoshoots are mostly lewd so like.yeah. so for other folk in the town, it's like bumping into your favourite porn star in the streets or smth while rumours that they'll suck you off if you give them a 100 are drifting in the air.💀💀💀 Some sick mf might be a 'fan' or smth and want to keep him to themself. And unlike Caelan(huge body type + can smack you reall hard) and Angel(will beat your ass and steal your belt), Brynn is very physically weak. So it would be an easy kidnapping, too.

Most likely to become a parental figure:

First I was thinking Caelan but then I was like nah that's too obvious, then I thought Angel. But Angel has more of a big sibling aura so we're going with Caelan. They're really calm, collected and mature. And most importantly: they scare off potential creeps with just a glare. It'd be comforting for the other orphans to have someone like that with them, it's almost like they have a nice Bailey that won't sell them at the drop of a hat. They also give good advice and hugs, so. Catch them wrapping up presents for every orphan three months before Christmas.

Now for more stuff about Brynn:

Sometimes he does stuff only for the aesthetic. Like he pretends he looooooooooooves strawberries but he actually hates how tart they are. He feels the need to keep up the 'UwU femboy' image

He wants to dye his hair at some point. He's asked Niki about it before during a shoot but Niki just went 'do whatever you want'

On the topic of Niki, Brynn probably talks to him the most. Well he's the person he says the most words to in a row. Normally Brynn likes to keep himself busy in stuff, and even if he isn't he's fidgeting with his sleeves. Can't do any of that for three whole hours while on the job so. He just asks Niki random shit and Niki responds either with a hum or a short sentence.

He's thought about using kaomojis during text, they're cute and stuff. But he has no patience for that so no kaomojis😔 he's dry af btw.

But you know what's not dry?........THAT PENI-

Brynn's been fucking in the streets in exchange for money for a long time. Way before the in game stuff happens. Yk how when you first walk out of the orphanage you're immediately attacked then a rando gives you a pepper spray? Yeah that was the day he decided he wanted to dress up a bit. He's always been more attracted to feminine stuff but too shy to go through with it. So yeah, he got out in a skirt and he... Made more money with it. Like judt in general the money he was being paid increased. So he went lol profit and kept doing it. But....he really didn't like it when they called him a girl and then were surprised when he had a pp and maybe even degraded him for it. So now he avoids doing anything to his face or hair, so he's like. Evidently a boy in a dress/skirt.

Another orphan works at the brothel, and told Brynn that he could earn more by working there too. Brynn didn't think for even a moment, he refused instant lmao. The work environment there and the lack of security is gonna scare him off.

He likes bananas

[ultfreakme]

What are your top ten favorite scenes in Avatar the Last Airbender?

Thank you so much for the ask!!! Oh my god. This so hard, I've never thought of individual scenes as top favorites but I've tried my best and narrowed it down I think?

Katara v Pakku 'You can't knock me down!': So I watched Avatar when it was first airing as a kid, there weren't many dark-skinned main characters around, especially not girls who fight and certainly not against sexist men who try to stop people from learning. So when I saw this scene, I was at the edge of my seat, it taught me a lot about bravery and I still cheer and clap for Katara when I re-watch the fight.

Sokka throughout The Fortuneteller: I'm an atheist and people didn't exactly take kindly to that when I was a kid & I was infamous as the 'weird kid who probably has no morals'. So seeing Sokka outwardly express skepticism about the spirits & 'higher powers' was very comforting.

Sokka inventing the air balloon solution: I think it was one of the first scenes where I really started liking Sokka. The thing about hot air actually made me read my school textbooks & google stuff to figure out how air currents work, so that helped me with a few science classes about molecules.

Aang in The Storm: It was one of our first glimpses into how he felt about running away, the guilt, the sadness, the pain of being the last of your people with no one to turn to and thinking its all your fault.

Toph fighting the Earth Rumble goons when Aang & her dad are watching: The way she moves is so freaking cool!!! It was her showing exactly how capable she is, she isn't kidding when she says she's the world's best earthbender because yeah, who the heck else could do what she does???

Hama's flashback: Once again I watched this show as a kid, so this was the first time i got confronted with the fact that there will never be a 'perfectly good' or 'perfectly bad' side. People are complicated & I understand what pushed Hama to do what she did but that doesn't excuse it so in that vein;

Katara sucking the water out of the field to fight Hama: It's just badass even if it is angsty.

Aang pulling Ozai down by his beard and encasing him in rock: I mean-- like that is just objectively cool and very embarrassing for the 40-something year old guy. Aang was in top form.

Zuko in the bunker with Ozai: I don't watch too many new cartoons but I don't think any show has ever so explicitly called out the abuser and made sure the abuser is acknowledged as unforgivable. It really put into light for me a lot of things about child-parent relationships, what its supposed to be (forever angry at Boku No Hero Academia for using their Zuko-based character to forgive and redeem his abuser, lf you don't know anything about BNHA this means nothing to you jbcfjhbh sorry).

Yuekka last kiss: They're the ship that first introduced me to tragic romances,. My heart was broken and I kept waiting the entire 3 seasons down to the last episode for Yue to make a return and say "hey guys! so I'm a spirit I'm alive!". I still like it because idk I love angst a lot and the whole story of a princess finding glimpses of freedom in a boy who's traveled the world and yearning for it gets to me.

I'm not remembering other scenes that may have had more impact on me just yet, but a few honorable mentions; Ran and Shao's dance(I LOVE DRAGONS 100/10 they make everything better always), Zuko in the Cooler, Sokka and the cactus juice, Aang's anxiety episode.

Thank you again for asking! This was so fun to do~~

[collegeoflore]

aaand 2, 4, 13, 28 for Ieriyn? 👀

thank you again my dear!!! 💖

(questions here)

2. What relationship did your Tav have with their family/guardian(s) growing up? Has that changed with age?

ieriyn is the youngest of 7 siblings and only really gets along with one of them. it's a combination of rivalry, unease/fear about his unpredictable magic, and just plain personality clashes that make most of his siblings keep him at arm's length. they all want the biggest share of their father's inheritance and they all want to make a name for themselves politically and there's only so much room to do so - combine that with ieriyn being a sorcerer in a city where magic is nearly entirely illegal and him also just being a bit of an annoying twat and well. he isn't that popular with his siblings. it doesn't help that more than once his wild magic surges have endangered or hurt his siblings and family, especially when he was very young. there's probably also some contention there wrt to him being trans but i haven't developed that yet LMAO

he is also desperate for his father's approval and affection and he just. never really gets it. he fills the void with his mentor instead, whom he is unhealthily obsessed with pleasing, but it isn't really the same. he wants so so badly to be the golden child but he isn't and all of his attempts to win his parents' favor get him nowhere. like yes he's a magical gifted kid but that isn't enough to get him what he wants.

he's honestly still fairly young (i don't have an exact age nailed down as he's a half elf and idk the Lore well enough to decide on an appropriate age lol) and still lives at home (as do two of his siblings) so this hasn't had the ability to change much. i think it will change post-game but well. i am still in act 1 with him so check back later LOL

4. What hobbies does your Tav have? How did they acquire these interests?

ieriyn is a bookworm and loves studying arcana and religion. he also paints! mostly landscapes, but he's tried his hand at a few portraits. he's not great by any means but it's a fun hobby. he goes hunting with his family often as well and enjoys it, but he's a terrible shot. they're mostly just little rich boy hobbies he picked up by virtue of being a little rich boy. i do think it would be cute if halsin taught him wood carving. i want him to make a little duck. :)

13. How does your Tav feel about the wilderness?

it's dirty and hot and uncomfortable and his feet hurt and he hasn't had a proper hot bath in days and everything sucks so so so bad forever. he's a spoiled brat honestly, his previous experiences in the "wilderness" have involved like, hunting on horseback with a whole team of staff there to keep things as painless and comfortable as possible. he has never done anything even approaching "roughing it" and he is not a fan. i think this will change later in the game too, though - once he gets over himself and stops whining he'll probably decide it's not so bad because he does like nature; he's just used to it being a thing that exists outside his window rather than something he himself is a part of.

28. How well does your Tav function under pressure?

badly. lol.

he has a tendency to panic (which usually leads to a wild magic surge) or fully shut down or both. which is not particularly helpful um. ever. LOL. i feel like i need some more time with him to figure out how this really shakes out in game but he is generally not great under pressure lol

[gentil-minou]

Hello! I’ve loved your ml psychology analyses, and I was wondering if you’d being to answer a question of mine! I’ve been thinking on whether or not I want to study psychology and be a counselor, as I love to figure out how people (fictional characters for the most part lol) end up the way they do, and what is influencing their choices. I also really like to help other people who are struggling and try to give them as much support as possible because I’ve also struggled in the past, and I thought that maybe analysis and Listening skills would indicate that I might like the career, but I’m still unsure. Sorry for the rambling, but I guess I was just wondering what made you want to work in mental health and did you find your initial idea of what psychology is vs what you learned in school to be jarring? Sorry to bug, but I thought hearing what someone who’s work I look up fo would think!

ahhhh i always love questions like this because this field is, in my humble and completely unbiased opinion, one of the most important out there, and so i just love when folks are interested! especially because it's such a rewarding career even with all its difficulty!

Read more cause i rambled too much what a shock hfdjsd

my own path towards becoming a therapist is a bit of a weird one because i didn't actually take any psych classes until I was getting my masters in it shjdjkdfs (I was originally in STEM sciences).

becoming a therapist kind of happened by fortuitous happenstance: i was a teacher and found i had an especially great talent for getting kids to open up and talk about themselves and their worries. i'm also very neurodivergent and have my own complicated healing history, and once i got better i realized i really didn't want kids to go through what i went through growing up. it feels a bit selfish but in the best way, because by helping kids out i can make up for the time i spent suffering. it makes me feel good, i guess if that makes sense djkfhds

anyways, my rambling aside i think there are a couple main takeaways that i hope people going into this field can be prepared for so!

practice!!!!!!!!!!! like seriously this is one field where i think the best practice is by doing.

therapy is kinda like dating, in that sometimes you won't click with your client and they might ask to see someone else. it might not be anything personal or it might be, maybe wrong gender or ethnicity or orientation, or they just don't like your vibes. it will be okay, and it doesn't mean anything about you. when that happens i usually focus on the clients i have clicked really well with and remind myself that the client who is leaving is looking to get the best support possible, and it helps

dont trust the movies, it's way more complicated than just asking how someone feels. a lot of times people don't know how they're feeling. kinda got to work your way up to it, and first learn what feelings are

get comfortable with silence. i hate it, i suck at it. but sometimes you gotta make it reallyyyyy awkward before it can get better and the client cant open up

you will have to explain things so sometimes it will feel a lot like teaching. but it's not always so bad

so many fucking acronyms. be prepared

don't be your friends/family's therapist. don't offer unsolicited advice, unless they are open or interested. once you recognize the signs and can diagnose people it becomes waaaaay too easy. it's not always welcome, and sometimes we have to be okay with that

people won't always have the same values or opinions as you, and sometimes it might be triggering. i have a number of clients i wouldn't like or want to be around outside of work, and that's okay. remember to check in with yourself and let yourself have feelings. rely on your empathy and understanding to remind you that the person is what matters, not their beliefs/values. and what your job is

if you work with kids (both young and teens) you will have to work with parents. it might not be fun, but you gotta

you are human, you are born with emotions. you WILL be affected by the things people say and are going through. it isn't easy. the most important thing for anyone in this field is to get their own therapist and really make sure you stay on top of your self-care. think of it like how on airplanes you have to put an oxygen mask on yourself before you can help others; you have to help yourself before you help others.

depending on what you might specialize in (for me it's depression and anxiety) there is a significant chance you might lose a client in the worst way. it will suck and you will grieve, and it will be okay but not really. it's the reality of the field and one that's hard to accept, but i hope folks realize that

nothing beats the feeling of a client you've been seeing for a while start to unconsciously do the things you practiced in session. actually the one thing that beats it is when the client realizes they've gotten better and have made progress. it's the best feeling in the world

kinda related to the last one but it's not uncommon for someone who has made loadsssss of progress to end up experiencing something minor or major that spirals them down. they will feel bad and upset and disappointed, and that's normal. just remember that life is a series of hurdles and it's important to get back up.

this goes the same for therapists!!!! you will make mistakes! and it will be okay! you might say or do something that you think back on and go ah shit i really shouldnt have done that. and that's okay, just get back up and try again

I realize this is becoming very long and may not be as specific, but i feel like this is what i learned that was most valuable over my years in this field. if you have any specific questions i'm happy to go into more details (though my education was a bit unorthodox soooo)

[kitkatwinchester]

I'm gonna cry.

First of all, our little group of four all trying to find Stiles is honestly so heart-warming.

"I'll understand if anyone wants to back out." "I'm not gonna be the first wolf to run from a fox." "Apparently I'm carrying a lightsaber." (XD) "Dad, you and Derek hit Eichen House. Sheriff, it's you and me at the hospital."

They all love and care about Stiles so much, and they're all so determined to figure this out and do anything they can to help him (Chris with his lethal option makes me a little nervous, but it's FINE), and I love that. <3

And then that scene in the hospital elevator between Allison and Noah was so freaking sweet. Allison seriously just always puts up this mask and tries to keep going because she doesn't want to seem weak or scared or unable to protect herself, but this is a LOT, and it's especially a lot for a freaking TEENAGER to go through, and I love that Noah just pulled her in and comforted her and told her that he would talk to Coach about her failing grade in Econ. We love a good parental moment--ESPECIALLY when it's not their parent, but the parent of someone they care a lot about--and that was so sweet.

And then of course, we get that creepy af video of Stiles in his room (you're telling me Stiles doesn't have a key to his house and he had to break in? K then. XD) just staring at the camera and waving those creepy little fingers in that way that Dylan does when he's the Nogitsune and I'm freaking terrified and don't like where this is going at all. But we're gonna save him, RIGHT?!

Also, again, I feel really bad for Noshiko. Her boyfriend Rhys was actually amazing and was actually trying to do everything he could to help them, and given the course of the story and episode, I knew he was gonna die, so the second he dove into the crowd, I was waiting for something like that, and it totally sucks. I HATE when things like that happen, when the one person that actually cared gets caught in the crossfire of people who deserve that death a lot more. Totally sucks.

Also also, while I'm here, I do want to point out that, yes, Stiles is the clever and witty planner who usually makes the connections first, but I don't want to sneeze at Scott's smarts either. He can definitely step up when he has to, and watching him put together all of the puzzle pieces of this Nogitsune and its past as he learns bits and pieces of information is kind of awesome and I'm glad that he's here, because I really think if anyone can (and will) save Stiles, it's Scott.

Anyways. This is heartwarming and heartbreaking in so many different ways, and I get the feeling this is gonna be a set-up episode that's gonna end on a rough cliffhanger and inevitably cause my heart to break in half when I watch the next episode, so here we go I guess...

Here's a gif of Noah being wonderful again because we can. <3

(This was so heart-warming and sad I feel so bad for Allison. :( )

[lysanderish]

Had to get some thoughts out of my brain and they're kind of painful and I don't feel like inflicting them on some of my discord pals rn bc they bubbled up because one of them is struggling rn, so here.

CW: parent stuff. Death, medical. Abuse talk. That kind of stuff.

Goddamn. I cannot with parents. Like, yes, my mom passing away fucked me up, dramatically changed my life trajectory, and still makes me cry. Yes, I am saddened to see my dad in his current state where he can't always communicate even basic shit and is at the goddamn mercy of the system and others for his basic care and needs and the question of whether or not it's time for hospice comes up every few months - and we almost did it last week, but then he rallied so damn hard. And it feels bad to know that I'll always have to live with eventually choosing when he dies because he can't make that choice himself anymore. It sucks. It sucks so fucking much. I've wanted him out of my life for so long but this is not how I wanted it to go and I feel bad that I didn't somehow force him to get help sooner and that I'm happier in my day to day life from something as small as being able to exit my room without running into a random encounter all the time.

But then I think about my friends with living, healthy parents who want to have functional healthy relationships with them despite years of abuse. Or I think about my friend's niece (who she practically raised) and how shitty her parents are and I just feel so much worry for this 12-year-old I've only met twice because I've known her dad for like 17 years and he's always been a piece of shit and that's certainly not changing any time soon and she's stuck with him for the rest of his life.

And I just cannot. I know good parents are out there. I know they exist. I've met them here and on tiktok and I know a few people in my personal life who are excellent with children. My parents-in-law? Not perfect, but I've never heard a truly bad thing about them from my husband or his brother and is painfully obvious that they took good care of them. But all those people are so aggressively outweighed in my experience by all of the parents I know or know of who are straight up abusive, either intentionally or because they had their own shit that needed figuring out before they ever had any business raising a child. And I know that last statement treads a thin and dangerous line. Obviously kids happen to some purple whether they're ready or not and the systems we have to protect those kids fail, and they already disproportionately harm marginalized families. I am aware of the social issues around parenting and why attempts to fix this in our current system would harm more than help.

But it still hurts when my friends have nightmares about their parent's abuse or when I have to think about kids who are growing up now with abusive parents who will never truly be free of that shit. I'll never truly be free of my parents' mistreatments even if I believe none of it was on purpose and they thought they were doing the right thing. Those are deep scars and I can learn to work around them to function, I can cover them up with a mark to make strangers comfortable, but they're always going to be there.

Anyway, I am heartened by the gentle parenting movement and I hope more kids grow up with less shitty parents today than did when I was a kid. Would probably help if we weren't all barely scraping by, but we can't exactly fix that overnight.

[darkwaveho]

The thought of y/n and Monica being in a healthy relationship just makes me melt. I usually don't like fluff, but they're something special 😤💕.

When you have time (and if you want to), can you please give us a small drabble about Monica and y/n? Maybe the two of them are living in bliss with Nat scheming while she's in prison 👀. I wonder how Nat will react when she hears y/n and Monica are in a relationship (I just know she'll have connections in prison lol). Do you think that if Nat were to break out of prison while Monica and y/n were together that she would go back to Natasha?? Would Nat go crazy when she finally finds them? I love how your AU's have AU's 🤣.

Also the lack of Monica Rambeau fics on this app sucks 😫.

Damage control

Split decisions

Parings: Monica Rambeau x reader, Natasha Romanoff x reader (Past) 

Warnings: 18+, fluff, abuse, violence, cursing suggestive themes, mentions of murder, shitty parenting, hints of Stockholm syndrome. 

 A/n: Sorry it took so long anon hopefully you like it. I tried to add in as much as you asked for but I might’ve forgotten a few things. my bad if I did lol <3

Damage Control masterlist

--------------

Monica enters her house with a sense of uneasiness, she doesn’t know what it is, but something felt off. she assumes positions drawing her gun from her holster and walks further into the room. the living room is empty nothing there put left over honeybun on the coffee table. she falters in her steps when she hears a noise coming from the kitchen.

during this time, you were always on the couch waiting for Monica to get back from work. no matter the time you waited, she brought you a sense of comfort and stability that you never knew you needed. Monica walks into the kitchen raising her gun higher to the eye level of the other person in the kitchen, she releases a breath and lowers the gun.

“Yn? What the hell?” 

“Yeah, what the hell Mon! I could’ve killed you; you know!” you yell at her for scaring you.

Monica had words at the tip of her tongue but seeing you and actually taking in your full figure she had new words forming with a burning question. “What are you even doing with that?” she points with one hand as she uses the other to safely put her gun back in the holster.

“I thought I heard something in the basement.” She takes the gun from your grasp. “Where did you even get this from?” 

“I’m not telling you, you’re a cop Mon.” She rolls her eyes and moves you to the couch. “You sure this is just about a noise you heard?” She rubs your hand soft and tenderly. “Yeah of course, what else would it be about?” 

“Yn, it’s okay to talk about it, to talk about her.” You shake your head. “Okay, another time then? In the meantime, please no more firearm’s sweetheart.” She holds your chin and places her soft lips on yours. “Another one.” She accepts and plants another kiss on your lips. You hum in satisfaction. “More.” She giggles and plants multiple wet kisses to your face knowing you would keep asking her for more. You pull her on top of you falling back on the couch. 

“So, what else did you do today other than have possession of an illegal firearm?” You scoff knowing she’s not going to let it go and she’ll most likely press you for more information about who you bought it from later. “Watched tv, ate doughnuts.” You give her a look of mischief. “Looked through your panty drawer and I finally opened that box you have hidden away in the back of your closet.” Her eyes go wide with shock. 

“What?” 

“I knew you’d be surprised, you’re really freaky Monica.” You wiggle your eyebrows in a playful way. She gasps and slaps you shoulder. “I think it’s sexy. You’re a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.” 

“That’s an invasion of privacy and I could have you arrested you do know that right?” 

“Oh, you’ve been dying to cuff me haven’t you Captain?” you wiggle your eyebrows playfully as you tease her. despite you staying with Monica you two haven’t done more than just making out. intimacy was different with her versus Natasha, getting Natasha to open up more and be vulnerable was like pulling teeth you hardly ever got her too emotional and real with you. 

“Shut up” she hits you with the couch pillow and laugh at the shrieking noise you make from being hit. her laughter comes to an abrupt stop when she sees the look you have in your eyes.

“Y/n, no.” she sends you a warning as she tries to pull away from you. “Why not?” you grin at her and add more strength around her waist. you pull her back on top of you and start attacking her neck with your lips.

 “Fuck, b-because we-” she loses herself with the sensation you send through her body. “Because what?” you pull away from her soft neck to taunt her more before going right back in. placing your lips upon her neck you focus on her soft spot and suck right below her ear. her hands halt any advances you had running rapid in your mind, and you respect her boundaries even if they were tortious. “Mon you’re killing me here, you can’t be nice and say sweet things to me. I’m still not used to it, and it makes me horny.” 

“Y/n, my mind still hasn’t changed about that.” she softly scratches your scalp with her hands tangled in your hair. once again you respected it but that didn’t mean you couldn’t come up with a compromise.

“Okay, what if we just watch each other.” you wiggle your eyebrows hoping she would get the hint. “Watch each other...” she waits for you to continue and fill in the blank.

“Yeah, I can watch you touch yourself while you watch me touch myself.” her jaw drops form shock “And I’m the freak?” 

“Don’t look at me like that, you mean to tell me that watching me naked completely spread out in front of you while pumping my fingers inside of myself doesn’t make you squirm?” you trail your hand along her chest as her breaths become shorter. “Your heart is beating really fast Mon, tell me if I slide my hands in your pants will I feel the same throbbing sensation underneath your panties.” Monica lost in your seductive trance she shakes her head and clenches her eyes standing up from the couch and untangling her limbs from yours. 

“I- should go check in with Darcy and Jimmy about something.” she avoids eye contact as she fetches her cellphone. “And it’s your night to pick, what do you want for dinner?” she tries to focus on anything she an in this room to stable herself from pouncing on you right now. you sit against the cushions slightly disappointed from the rejection. Monica doesn’t wait for an answer as she walks into the kitchen for her abandoned items.

“Pussy.” you mumble under your breath. “What was that sweetheart?” you hum and snap your eyes up at her waiting figure. “Oh, I said pizza.” you send her a tight-lipped smile that she knows is dripping with sarcasm and annoyance, but she doesn’t speak on it.

“Pizza it is then, I’m going to go wash the hard day at work off of me and then we’ll order, okay?” your eyes follow her every movement as she approaches the couch, the pout and scowl on your face had her feeling bad for unintentionally working you up like that. she gives you a quick kiss and runs up the stairs to cool herself off from the heated moment. 

-----------

“Five minutes, so make it quick.” the guard unlocks the steel door allowing the woman to step pass the threshold. the sound of the door closing and locking on the other side alerts the woman that was staring at the cold stone wall. “Natalia.” the woman breathes out an airy response. “Melina.” 

“Has she been found yet?” Natasha’s voice comes out raspier than normal, as she wets her dry chapped lips. Melina sighs doing what she never did before. she took pity on Natasha. seeing her like this at her lowest. “We’ve been looking, and word is going around that she’s...” Natasha’s eyes shoot up to the eye level of her mother’s. “She’s what?” the response comes out harsh and panicked at the same time. “That she’s been seeing that detective lady.” the ear screeching sound of Natasha’s nails scraping against the concrete floor. “No, no, she wouldn’t stoop that fucking low.” 

“I’m afraid she has.” 

“No, you’re lying and whoever told you that is a fucking liar as well!” 

“You mind your tongue!” the voice booms through the room. everything went silent as Alexei’s voice was heard through the other side of the door. finally hearing the creaking of the steel door, revealing his figure his steps into the room. Melina parts her lips to ease the tension, she was always trying to ease the tension between them. this time she’s not winning the battle.

“Leave us.” Alexei’s voice comes out firm with no room for arguing. After quickly sending Natasha a soft smile. Melina leaves as Alexei keeps his gaze on Natasha’s unease figure. “Don’t look at me like that, you got yourself into this mess, and dragged my baby girl along with you!” Natasha clenches her eyes as Alexei yells echos through the confined room. “What was it you said to me all those years ago? hm? ‘I can handle her father; she would never do anything to hurt me or Yelena’ “Look at where you and your sister are now! he sees Natasha clenching her jaw like she wants to charge at him. “What is it? are you upset? you want to hit me? is that it?!” he snatches her up from the ground and shakes her a few times until he gets an answer. “C’mon hit me then.” 

“Whose fault is this?” 

“You’re even weaker than I thought, I should’ve put a stop to whatever you two had going on.” a slap was too generous. way too generous. the punch to Natasha’s face was long overdue and well deserved in Alexei’s eyes. she grunts from the contact as she stumbles to the ground. “I. asked. you. a. question.” each word followed by a slap, a shove or the angry Russian’s fist.

“Mine!” her releases her from his hold and throws her to the ground. he turns away from her and waits for the door to opened. “Is Yelena, okay?” 

“You have no right asking about my daughter when you couldn’t protect her like you were supposed to! she suffers because of you, because of what you did and what you allowed that selfish bitch to do! Yelena was placed in solitaire confinement, she got into a fight, and she was also stabbed. What? is that not what you wanted to hear? you want me to lie and tell you she’s doing fine in her cell?  I’m not going to help ease your guilty conscious you can rot and suffer within these walls for all I care, my only concern is my daughter.” he knocks once against the door and leaves without another word. an hour goes by before a guard enters the room, walking towards Natasha he stops at her feet and holds a cell phone out to her. she furrows her brows and takes the phone she wasn’t expecting her usual guard to be on duty today. she says her thanks and shoos him from her room to stand outside. Natasha dials the number she’s been keeping in close contact with over a month now to weigh her options. the phone rings a few times before it picks up. 

“What do you need now?” The man’s voice laced heavy with his accent it was barely morning where he was after all.

“I need you to get me out of here, I don’t care how just do it, and I mean soon Rick.” she hangs the phone up and on queue the guard enters the room retrieving the phone and leaves again. Natasha wouldn’t stay another moment in this cell, in this building knowing you were out there parading around with the bitch that put her in here. 

----------

“You do know I haven’t heard a word you just said right?” you prop you head up with your elbow on the table popping a few of Monica’s French fries in your mouth.

“You’re unbelievable you know that? how are you going to ask me about my day and not actually listen?” she tilts her head slightly with a smirk on her face, showing you that she wasn’t upset about it.

“What? can you blame me, you’re gorgeous.” she shy’s away taking a sip of her sweet tea. you can’t help but focus in on her lips. how soft they were and how badly you wanted them on your body again. despite the heated moment you two had in her office two months ago there hasn’t been anything that heated going on between you two. part of you thinks Monica is holding back because of lingering, pestering feeling for Natasha that wouldn’t go away. you admired her for that. for caring and having feelings like a normal human is supposed to, this was something you weren’t used to. patience. the date goes on until Monica gets a call to head back to the office. she pays and you both exit the burger joint hand in hand as you walk to Monica’s car.

“Shouldn’t I be the one walking you to your car?” that was another change in your life, you had a car now, not being escorted around all day like before had its pros and cons, but you loved the freedom to do as you pleased. “Hush Mon, I want to walk my lady to her car. My car is in the back because I couldn’t find parking and you did pay for lunch so why not?”  

“So, buying you lunch makes us even because you walked me to my car? who knew this got you to turn on your gentle woman act.” 

“Well, you could see it more often if you let me pay for the date for once.” you roll your eyes at her stubbornness but then again, the money you had belonged to Natasha and Monica didn’t want that kind of money being spent on her, or you spending the dirty money in general. “And I could pay you in other ways if you would just let me, you know I’m good for it.” you swing her hand and bat your eyelashes at her innocently. 

“You don’t have to pay me at all y/n, I like doing things for you, just enjoy them.” you roll your eyes and fold your arms. Monica giggles at your reaction and struggles a bit to pull you closer to her. “Fine I’ll let you pick the next date.” 

“And you’ll let me pay for it? I mean the entire date Mon, I pay for everything, got it?” 

“Fine bossy.” she playfully rolls her eyes and unlocks her car door.

“Yeah, well you’re very stubborn.” you open her door for her and close it when she’s seated

“Takes one to know one.” one thing about Monica was that at work she could be tough and demanding but with you she could be childish and carefree. you loved it. you loved the playful banter between you two. “Real mature, Miss Rambeau.” she beckons you with her finger pulling you in for a soft kiss. “See you at home.” she gives you a wide smile as you lean away from her car repeating the same farewell as she drives off. “See you at home.”

-----------

You smile to yourself as you walk back to your car unaware of your surrounds, you’re oblivious to the car that trails you. it isn’t until you fell the hand of a person grip your jacket and spin you around to face them. to say you were at a loss for words were an understatement. 

“Hello, sweet face.” your ex-girlfriend stands in front of you with excitement in her expression and long blonde hair. “Did you miss me?” you only stare at her with your mouth parted, this can’t be real she can’t be here right now. aware of your silence Natasha keeps talking anyway. “I thought about you saying how hot I would look as a blonde, do you like it?” she noticed your eyes constantly going back to the top of her head, so she answered the question for you.

“You look good, I see you’ve been playing house with that bitch. I had a lot of time to think about what’d I do when I finally got out of that place…none of them ended up being this way, with me being calm and civil.” opposite to the meaning of the words her tone came out harsh and frantic. “Do you know how much self-control I had to not slaughter her right there in that seat?” 

“No letters, no calls, no visits.” hearing her entitlement after everything she’s done upset you. she could be a real bitch at times, but this was getting old fast after not having to deal with it for two months.

“I thought maybe that whore would be doing all of those things.” you shrug it off nonchalantly, while you barely hold yourself together on the inside. she grows angry with the tone and the harsh response. backing you up until you hit the brick wall.

 “Nat-” you flinch as Natasha bring her hand near your face. she places her finger against your trembling lips. “Shhh, I’m not gonna hurt you.” she studies your face intently, remembering every single detail of your face right down to every pore.

“Did you miss me?” her eyes stare deep into yours, searching for an answer even if not verbal she could tell. The emotion in your eyes gave her all she needed; your body language was all she needed. part of you missed her yes, but you were still angry and hurt about what she did. if she thinks you turning her in to the feds was enough for her to be forgiven, she was sadly mistaken. 

“I missed you too.” she leans her forehead against yours. she inhales deeply and quickly cringes from the scent she’s not used to. you changed things about you that Natasha loved. major things such as the way you communicated, to minor changes like the clothes you wore, or the perfume you chose. she could live with those changes and adjust but she knows for a fact that your love for her hasn’t changed. even if it is buried deep down in the pits of your heart. 

“I sat in my cell thinking about a lot of things. I thought maybe I can fuck the anger away when I got my hands on you for what you did.” The calmness she showed moments ago has dissipated. “And then I found out about you and her and I know longer wanted to bring you pleasure and pain. I just wanted to bring you pain and agony for letting her fuck you!” none of it might be true but she doesn’t know that, plus you wanted to get under her skin. 

“Who said she was doing the fucking? I basically have my tongue inside of her every night” Natasha’s ego dropped majorly at your response. either way you put it she would be angry but saying it in her face that you gave another woman pleasure hurt her, contrary to her doing the same thing when she cheated on you with Amber. her hand finds purpose around your neck, squeezing your airways tight as she backed you up against the cold bricks. her other hand squishes your cheeks together. 

“Stick your tongue out.” you look at her with frantic eyes this was a bad idea. she sticks her finger in your mouth grabbing the tip of your tongue with her pinched fingers. you find the will to breathe as her hand releases your throat. your relief was quickly forgotten when you felt the tip of her knife against your tongue. “Maybe I should cut it out, hm?” she pinches your tongue when you don’t answer her. so much for not wanting to hurt you. Natasha moves the metal away for you pocketing the knife and releases your tongue. you release the breath you were holding on to. “I’m really, really trying here. don’t mention anything like that again!” she spits the words out calm but harshly.

“You’re a damn hypocrite you know that? You want to be forgiven for what you did but I do it and I’m the trader, I’m the cheater and I’m tarnished right?”

 “No, never tarnished you just made a mistake, like I made a mistake.” her voice goes softer the anger she had fades away for the time being. placing her forehead against yours, she exhales deeply.

 “You were just upset, hm? you got your payback, now you can come home.” her breathing picks up momentum. her lips attempt to graze yours seeking to kiss you after two months of being without them. turning your face to dodge each attempt. “Nat, stop.” she doesn’t listen she couldn’t her mind was too intoxicated with you at the moment. she growls from being denied and slams her lips on yours. pushing her tongue past your lips, you fight for a moment before things fizzle away and next thing you know, you’re actually enjoying her touch again. enjoying her kiss, her tongue, her. seeing you let your walls down she makes her next move, sliding her hand under your waistband. she caught you off guard, but you’d be damned if you just gave her your body so easily like this. you harshly bite down on her lip causing her to step back in stinging pain. 

“Ah!” she stumbles back softly rubbing her thumb against her wounded lip. she looks at her thumb as the iron liquid runs down her fingertip. “Why so rough baby? I thought we could have a soft welcome home moment.” she says before she spits blood out on the concrete ground of the alley way. “Fuck you!”

“Well, if you play your cards right, I just might let you. being locked away in isolation really made me horny.” Rarely has Natasha ever let you have full control over her, maybe it was the fact that you mentioned having control with Monica that got her to lay the offer out on the table. the sound of the car door opening catches your attention and you can’t form words from seeing her. what could you say to make her understand your reasoning for doing what you did? your eyes follow her as she approaches, she looks more serious than before.

“Lena.” your breath hitches seeing your best friend, she stood there not giving you the time of day let alone a glance. “We need to go now Natasha we have things to do.” she sighs and nods to her sister before turning back to you. Yelena didn’t say anything to you. she didn’t yell or even make an annoyed facial expression. nothing. she treated you like you were nothing to her. Natasha turns your gaze back to her as she holds your chin. 

“I want you with me, we can go anywhere, and finally go on that vacation trip. for a much longer time than we originally planned but that’s just until things cool down. We can make the most of it.”  she squeezes your hand softly. a very different display of affection from just moments ago when she tried to forcefully shove her tongue down your throat.

“I’ll give you some time to think about it.” She rubs her thumb against your cheek. “Don’t have me waiting too long for an answer.” She was hoping that you would agree on your own instead of her using the backup plan to just drag you out of that house when Monica’s at work. Natasha was being civil, for now. this was how she could reel you back in on your own freewill with sweet words, hope, and broken promises. “I just got out of prison please don’t make me get my hands dirty within 8 hours of being released sweet face.” she traces your lips with her thumb, quickly pecks your lips and walks to the blacked-out car waiting for her. your heart drums through your chest as you replay everything that just happened. Natasha was free. she wanted you back, and she subtly not so subtly made a threat of harming Monica if you didn’t do as she said.

-----------

“Y/n, I have to tell you something important.” she looks for you downstairs in your usual spot that you wait in until she comes home. she tries to remain calm and push the intruding thought about your wellbeing to the side. she cautiously jogs up the stairs to her bedroom to find you frantically looking for something in the dresser.  “Y/n? what are you doing up here?” 

“Hey, what’s wrong love?” her hand softly caresses your back as she moves you to sit on the bed. her smile fades as she opens the door and sees the bag on the bed.  “Are you going somewhere? did I do something?” you quickly dismiss her overthinking. “No, you didn’t do anything you’re perfect.” 

“Okay, so what’s the problem and what’s with the packed bag?” she places her hand in yours linking your finger together. “She’s back.”

“I know.” 

“You knew?”

“I came home as soon as I found out.”  you hum and turn your gaze back to your linked fingers. “Why didn’t you tell me when you first found out?” you shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know, my mind was running at a million miles a minute. I thought she would be put away for good.”

“Yeah, so did I, but the evidence was dismissed even though we had the warrant and everything.” she turns your face to look at her. “That still doesn’t explain the bag sweetheart.” you sigh, releasing a shuddered breath. “I can’t.... I can’t stay here anymore Monica.” 

“W-what?” 

“I don’t want her to hurt you.” 

“She will, she will hurt you and I’ll never be able to live with myself if I let that happen.” 

“Where is this coming from?” 

“After our lunch date I was walking back to the car, and she cornered me and pulled me into the alley. she said she wants me to come back home and that she expects an answer soon. that’s bullshit! she’s not giving me an option she’s only making me think that I have one.” 

“Do you want to go back with her? I can protect you just don’t go, please.”

“I can handle myself...I can protect you y/n.” 

“Sorry to break it to you Mon but Natasha doesn’t care about a damn badge or the law! and she definitely doesn’t care about killing you especially since we’ve been shacking up for two months!” you shoot up from the bed with Monica following right behind you. Monica might be calm on the outside right now but on the inside she was anxious. anxious of what would happen, how she could fix this, and anxious about you leaving her and her never seeing you again.

“We weren’t just shacking up, at least not on my end. In the beginning I just wanted to help you and keep you safe but, you mean so much more to me. you mean more to me than you mean to Natasha. she isn’t capable of loving you, not the way that you deserve so please, stay.” she stands in front of you with tears pooling in her eyes as she begs you to remain with her. 

Two women holding special pieces of your heart makes every decision harder. did you want to stay with Monica and potentially cause Natasha to reign terror and hell on the woman you’ve grown close too over the last two months? or did your heart still beat for Natasha even after everything she’s done?

[rosiesung]

7 Days || Y.JW

for @geminirules "Just Friends" collab

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Pairing: Jungwon x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Friends to Lovers AU

Words: 3.63k

Warnings: Reader calls Jungwon a dick.

Synopsis: You are dared to pretend to be in a relationship with your best friend Jungwon. Initially, you go through with the childish challenge, knowing it will be insignificant to your friendship. But as the days pass, you begin to realise your true feelings for him. Will your revelations ruin your friendship? Or will something beautiful blossom because of them?

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"I dare you to pretend like you're dating Jungwon for a whole week."

You looked at your best friend with wide eyes, a similar expression of surprise on his face. There was no way you were going to do that. It would be way too awkward.

"Come on y/n. Don't be a party pooper. It's not like you guys are going to fall in love."

Of course things wouldn't turn out that way. No matter what, nothing would change the way you saw Jungwon. He would always remain your best friend and nothing more.

Jungwon looked too embarrassed to say anything. Both of you knew it was just a dare. What was the worst that could happen?

"Fine. Starting tomorrow Jungwon's my unofficial-official boyfriend," you announced, linking your arm with his. Jungwon hid his face in his hands as everyone around you screamed and cheered. This was going to be one interesting week.

~

☀︎ DAY 1 ☀︎

Since you only had to put on a show in front of your friends, you figured the best thing to do would be to hang out with Jungwon in solitude. He didn't have a problem with your plan. You both had been having playdates together ever since you were three. He was comfortable being alone with you.

Both of you met at your secret spot. A small grove behind the schoolyard. It was a place the two of you had found while skipping classes one day. Ever since then, this was where you spent time together whenever you needed some peace and quiet.

"I can't believe you actually agreed to this," Jungwon said, mindlessly plucking the grass he laid on. You sighed, staring at the row of trees beyond. "A dare's a dare. Besides, we have nothing to worry about because we don't have feelings for each other."

Jungwon sat up. "You know that we can't avoid all of them for the entire week right? They're literally planning to hang out at the cafe just so they can see us in the act." He sounded worried. There was no need to be.

"Of course I know that. So what? We'll let them see what they want to. It's not like they're going to make us kiss or something. The most we'll do is feed each other and hold hands."

Unlike Jungwon, you had already thought everything out. You knew how far to go while respecting the boundaries of your friendship. All Jungwon had to do was trust you.

He cringed in disgust at your words. "You're going to pay for landing me in this mess. We've barely even started and I already feel so miserable."

You patted his shoulder, flashing him an assuring smile. "You're not alone in your miser mister. After this is over, I'll do all your homework for you."

Jungwon laughed. "Learn how to do your own first. Then you can come and ruin mine."

~

☀︎ DAY 2 ☀︎

As Jungwon had predicted, your friends called you out to the cafe. Both of you were supposed to show up together. Jungwon met you a block away from the cafe, looking incredibly reluctant. "Are you sure you want to do this," he asked, just about ready to turn back around.

There was a determined look in your eyes. "Remember when he had to play Hansel and Gretel's parents for that play we did in preschool?" Jungwon nodded. He could never forget that day. "If we managed to get through that, we can get through this without a problem."

That made sense. Appreciative of your pep talk, Jungwon took your hand and whisked you away to the cafe.

By the time you reached your destination, both your hands were sweaty. Jungwon was just as nervous as you were. Not only because you had to pretend like you were dating, but also because your friends weren't going to miss the opportunity to tease you.

Seeing you two enter hand in hand, everyone began hooting and cheering. Jungwon's cheeks flushed almost immediately. You had to drag him towards the table you were supposed to sit at. "It's nice to see you two arriving together," one of your friends said, making space for you.

Taking a seat, you watched in horror as they placed a glass of juice with two straws in front of you both. No one had to explain what its purpose was. You glanced at Jungwon whose eyes were fixated on the glass hesitantly.

"If we get this over with now we'll be at peace," you whispered, leaning forward to place one of the straws between your lips. You looked away when Jungwon did the same, feeling the heat in his face on your cheek. You were certain you had never downed a drink so fast in your life. It didn't take long for you to finish the contents of the glass, quickly sitting back up to catch your breath. Your friends couldn't seem to get enough of the event, laughing and clapping avidly.

"You guys are so cute," some said. "Both of you would make such a nice couple in reality," said others.

Sitting there amongst your terribly evil friends, you wondered how you were going to get through the next five days with Jungwon.

~

☀︎ DAY 3 ☀︎

Your friends had invited you to another escapade at the park. You couldn't tell what they had in plan this time but you were sure it wasn't going to be enjoyable. At least this time, you and Jungwon didn't have to show up hand in hand.

When you reached the park, Jungwon was already there. Your friends beckoned you over, making you stand next to him.

"Now that our subjects have arrived, here's your to-do list. First, remain holding hands the entire time we are here. Second, Jungwon, give y/n your jacket if she starts feeling cold. Third, walk her back home and make sure you give her a nice, sweet little kiss before she goes inside."

Jungwon let out a noise of surprise. He wanted to run as far as he could and never come back. Holding your hand was fine. He had gotten used to it because of the previous day. He didn't mind giving you his jacket, but you were already wearing one so he didn't see why he would find the need to. Jungwon could do many things. But kissing you was not one of them. It didn't matter if it was on your cheek, your forehead, or the back of your hand, because there was no way on earth that he would bring his lips anywhere near yours.

What neither of you realized was that your friends were willing to go to the farthest lengths to make sure you went through with their tasks. They made you two walk in front of them so that they could see your hands intertwined. When the sun went down and the air started getting colder, they made you take your jacket off so that Jungwon would be left with no choice but to give you his. Just when it seemed like your night of torture would come to an end, they even made you share a single cone of ice cream. When it was finally time to go home, two of your friends followed behind you to make sure that Jungwon did his bidding. It was awkward enough walking through your neighborhood hand in hand. Those who knew you cast looks of confusion and surprise upon you two. Eventually, you reached your doorstep. Jungwon let go of your hand, standing in front of you. He looked everywhere but at you, avoiding your gaze. You glanced behind your shoulder, rolling your eyes when you saw your two friends filming you from behind your neighbor's car. They weren't even attempting to be discrete.

"Hurry up and kiss me already. This is too embarrassing," you urged, slapping Jungwon's arm. He sucked in a breath, pressing his lips in a thin line. "Do you think it's not for me? I mean, I'm the one who has to kiss you for heaven's sake."

"Stop pitying yourself and just get on with it. The longer we stand here the more reason they'll have to punish us tomorrow."

Jungwon stared at you long and hard. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned forward, pressing his lips onto yours without a second thought. You froze, eyes going so wide they might have popped out of your head. Even though it was probably only for two seconds, it felt like an eternity. Time froze as you stood in the foreign feeling of his lips on yours. He pulled away almost immediately, skipping down your driveway as fast as he could with a short wave and 'good night'. Still stunned, you entered your home, breaking into a smile when you closed the door.

~

☀︎ DAY 4 ☀︎

The next day, Jungwon asked you to meet him at your secret spot. So far, your friends hadn't made any plans to get you together. You saw Jungwon sitting in the middle of the grove, laying down on the damp grass as he usually did. Walking over, you sat down beside him, flicking his forehead so that he would open his eyes.

He grinned on seeing you, sitting up with a soft groan. "So, how was your night?"

You furrowed your brows at the question. It wasn't like him to ask you things like that. But you decided to overlook it. Maybe he was still feeling a bit awkward after the kiss you both hard shared the previous night.

You shrugged. "It was fine. How was yours?"

"I couldn't sleep," he revealed. It sounded like he'd been dying to tell you. "Why's that," you asked, believing that you had an idea of the reason.

"Last night scarred me," Jungwon shared, pretending to gag. You didn't know why, but hearing him say that made your heart sink. Suddenly, you felt horrible. "Was it really that bad," you asked, genuinely curious to know what he thought of it. Jungwon nodded, making you feel even worse. "It was worse than I thought it would be," he added. Your eyes started stinging. A lump formed in your throat and the longer you held it back, the more it hurt. You knew you hadn't been eager to kiss him, but you would argue about how 'bad' it was. But bringing that up right now would just be stupid. Jungwon would misunderstand where you were coming for and that would just lead to another disaster entirely. You had told yourself that you weren't going to let this dare get to you, but four days in you were already slipping. The longer you sat there, listening to Jungwon whine and complain about everything he'd had to do with you so far, the harder it became to control your emotion. Not able to take it anymore, you got up abruptly and ran away, leaving Jungwon sitting there extremely puzzled.

~

☀︎ DAY 5 ☀︎

You didn't respond to any of Jungwon's calls or texts. You didn't have it in you to face him. He would be disappointed if he found out the real reason behind your sappy mood. So you were gonna wait till you got over it before facing him.

You still couldn't believe that you had been so affected by Jungwon saying that he hated the kiss. Despite telling yourself that you disliked it too, you couldn't help but think otherwise. There was something so magical about it. You had never felt that way because of a kiss before. Whenever you thought back to it, an exciting warmth rippled through your mind. Your heart danced in glee and a wide smile formed on your lips.

But you weren't supposed to feel that way. Jungwon was your best friend. Besides, he hadn't kissed you willingly. You didn't understand why it felt so special to you when it clearly meant nothing to him. You knew you couldn't blame him for that. His mind was wired to see you as nothing more than a friend. You found it hilarious. Here you were, realizing that you probably liked your best friend after having continuously assured yourself and him that something like that would never happen. The sad part was that Jungwon would never reciprocate your feelings. You were all alone in this.

A knock sounded at your window, startling you. Slipping out of your reverie, you glanced towards it, eyes widening in surprise when you saw Jungwon crouched before it. You didn't think twice before letting him in. He entered your room and stood in front of you, crossing his arms over his chest. "You wanna explain what happened yesterday?"

You frowned and turned away shoulders slouching disinterestedly. "Is that what you came here for," you asked, regretting letting him in?

"Well did I have a choice? You've been blatantly ignoring me while all I've been trying to do is make sure you're alright," he said, stepping closer to you.

"I'm fine. If that's all you needed to hear, you can leave now," you replied. You didn't need him prying and prodding at you right now.

Jungwon stood his ground, clearly not satisfied with your answer. "No, you're not y/n. You aren't fine. Tell me what's bothering you."

You sighed and faced him. "Trust me, you wouldn't want to know."

Jungwon furrowed his brows. He didn't know what that meant. "I think I'll be the judge of that."

"It's you. You're bothering me," you spoke, narrowing your eyes at him. Jungwon hadn't been expecting that. But he didn't let the surprise show on his face. "What did I do?"

"You made me feel so worthless and undesirable. But that's not your fault. I can't blame you because you're right to think that way about me. I'm just pitying myself here and there's nothing you can do about it so please, just leave me alone." The tears were coming back again. You didn't want to break down in front of Jungwon. His face fell. He didn't know what to say to that. He thought you knew he was just being overdramatic. He seriously hadn't meant to hurt you. Before he could apologize, you turned to him. "I don't think I'll be good at keeping this a secret, so let me just tell you that I'm starting to catch feelings for you. If that makes you uncomfortable then you can leave. If you have something to say, just say it and go. But don't ask me why I feel the way I do because that's something I'm yet to figure out."

Jungwon was at a loss for words. He stood there, gaping at you like an open-mouthed fish before turning on his heel and exiting through your bedroom door. You heard your mother yelp on seeing him, probably wondering where he had shown up from. A part of you wished that he hadn't left, but the other was glad that he was gone. You felt like a fool for letting all of this happen. You should have never agreed to this dare. Who would have thought it would lead to something like this? There was nothing you could do now. There was no way you could change the way you felt. Because at the end of the day, it was as clear as ever, that you were undeniably in love with your best friend Yang Jungwon.

~

☀︎ DAY 6 ☀︎

Jungwon couldn't stop thinking about everything you had told him yesterday. He would never have imagined that you would catch feelings, especially through such a childish dare. Your friends had called you out to the park again today, but Jungwon wasn't going to go. He knew you wouldn't be there so there was no point. He wished he could tell you that he hadn't meant half the things he'd said about the kiss at the grove that day. He was just trying to show you that the kiss hadn't made him feel some type of way. Not just that, but he was also attempting to persuade himself that he indeed had loathed it. Maybe he should have been truthful instead of lying about it.

This was exactly what he'd been afraid of. Jungwon was always fond of you. He cared for you and he wouldn't lie when he said that he loved you. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that maybe he felt that way because he thought of you as more than a friend. Jungwon didn't want to convince himself that he liked you just because you had confessed to him. He wanted to understand the way he truly felt about you.

He knew every little thing about you. No one knew you as well as he did. Jungwon cherished your friendship and the time he spent with you. Whenever anything bugged him, he always came to you, knowing that you were the only person who could make things better. He relied on you more than anyone else. He couldn't go a day without speaking to you. After yesterday, he realized how important you were to him. The fear of losing you ate at him the longer he stayed away from you.

Jungwon hated knowing that you were sad. It hurt more to know that he was the reason behind it. He wanted nothing more than to hug you and apologize for making you feel bad. He felt guilty for everything he had done. It had only been a couple hours since he had last spoken to you, but it felt longer. He missed you so much.

So he left you a text, asking you to meet him at your secret spot. He kept his phone close, waiting till you replied. But you didn't. You probably wanted nothing to do with him. Nonetheless, he still hoped and prayed that you would give him one last chance to make things right again. He couldn't afford to lose someone as special as you. There was nothing for him if he didn't have you.

~

☀︎ DAY 7 ☀︎

Jungwon laid in the grass, staring at the dull sky above. It was filled with clouds, hiding the sun. The grove felt so big and endless when he was alone. When he was with you, it was much more cozy and bright, even if the atmosphere was gloomy.

He had been waiting for you for quite a long time now. You hadn't replied to his message last night, but he knew you had seen it. Just before he was about to lose hope, he heard the grass crunch a few feet away from him. Jungwon didn't have to look to know it was you. No one else knew the path to get here.

"What do you want," you asked, voice small but laced with malice. You were cross with him. Jungwon wished to change that today. He patted the space next to him. "Let's not pretend like we hate each other. You could do the worst thing to me but I'd still admire you."

You didn't argue and sat down beside him. Other than the tension in the air, everything felt normal. There was a scowl on your face. It must have taken a lot of convincing for you to come here. Jungwon needed to get to the point.

"I'm sorry about everything I said. I didn't even mean half of those things."

You scoffed. "Oh really? They sounded pretty heartfelt to me."

Jungwon sat up. "I was just trying to enforce the idea that I wasn't into you, on myself," he revealed, hoping that you would forgive him. "And being a dick was the only way you could do that? Jungwon, you weren't the only one who was attempting to suppress their feelings," you refuted.

"I know y/n. And it's my fault for not realizing sooner," he admitted, hanging his head. You sighed and shook your head. "This is so immature. I can't believe we're letting a stupid dare get in the middle of our friendship."

Jungwon chuckled darkly. "Maybe it's a sign that our friendship has run its course."

You turned to him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Jungwon smiled. "I gave it some thought yesterday. We're both attempting to be in denial of our feelings. Obviously, that isn't working out. If it wasn't for this dare, they would've remained buried deep down somewhere. But I guess you could say everything happens for a reason." He took your hand in his, intertwining your fingers. "I never realized how much I loved this feeling until I had to go a whole two days without it."

You couldn't even hide your smile. "Where is this going Jungwon?"

"Maybe we should give this a chance. Give us a chance. Who knows? It could turn out the be the best thing that's ever happened to us," he said, meeting your eyes.

"And what if it doesn't? We would be throwing so many years of friendship away."

Jungwon shook his head. "How long are we supposed to contradict how we truly feel about each other? That would take a heavier toll on us."

You laughed, squeezing his hand. "It doesn't hurt to try I guess."

Jungwon beamed. "That's the spirit!" It felt nice to see you smiling at him again. He was grateful for that. It was funny how a large part of his mood depended on you. If you were happy, he was happy. If you were sad, he was sad. His entire world revolved around you, and Jungwon knew the best thing to do was strengthen that bond.

"So, will you be my girlfriend," he asked, smiling cheekily. You bit your lip, looking at him through your lashes. "Of course I will."

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this fic. Please let me know how you found it! Thank you so much!

[insomniac-astronomer]

Peter Parker (any) x Reader: Sorry, Can't Sleep

Hey there. I'm flipping struggling as of late. The sleeping problems in this fic are really specific, sorry lol. Also, my mentor is on the same med as me for sleep! It was a great bonding moment 😬

Description: Reader has been struggling to sleep with nightmares (generic, not superhero-related).

Gender: neutral! No pronouns used!

WARNINGS: Sleeping problems, sleeping medications, nightmares

*not my GIF*

You swallow the "this will help, I promise" pill for the millionth night in a row. At least it feels that way. And maybe it did work for like one night, but it's not working now.

You lay down and feel absolutely no more tired than you had twenty minutes ago when you took your melatonin.

Instinctually, you reach for your phone and pull it off the nightstand. You open the messages app, not entirely sure who you're going to talk to.

A message from Peter appears. He's not your boyfriend but he's definitely more than a friend. Both of you have a lot of shit going on in your heads and so you're taking it slow and keeping it private. It offers both of you peace of mind: Peter with bad guys and you with . . . life?

Anyway.

Peter: ok, tomorrow sounds great.

It is the end of a conversation. Probably meant to signify the way you both should be going to sleep now.

You: hey u awake?

Peter: yeah, u ok?

You: yeah, just can't sleep

You regret unloading your barrens onto him for just a second.

Peter: aw that sucks, what's wrong?

You: never really sleep well, nightmares have been really bad lately.

You figure to keep last night's nightmare to yourself. Typically, you dream about whatever but you are made of helium and keep flying around smacking into everything and getting hurt. Everyone laughs when you tell them that, but it's true and it's scary. Last night, the only difference was the Peter was there catching you with webs and dragging you back to the ground.

Peter: gimme 5 minutes

You: for what?

But of course he doesn't respond. You click your phone off and plug it in. You lay back down. You feel uncomfortable for the sheer reason that you know you'll be bored waiting for sleep and then the nightmares will grab you.

It's awful for you. And your mood is doing so much better, enough to keep a stable "romantic relationship," which is saying a lot considering your track record of breaking away when things start moving forward. So of course everything can't improve, your mind can't leave you be for one freaking day.

Suddenly, a tap on the window sends a shock through your drugged system. You're moving a bit slow with the sleeping meds despite not feeling any more tired. So when your brain finally snaps to, you move your blinds to take a peak out the window. Peter's face meets yours, a huge smile taking over his pretty brown eyes. The way he always smiles when he sees you.

Your heart flutters.

You open the window and he climbs in.

"Hey," he whispers

"What are you doing here? My parents are going to hear you!"

"Shh," he covers your mouth and pauses for a second. "I don't hear them moving around. They're not awake."

An inescapable smiles finds its way to your face. "So what are you doing here for real?"

"You said you were having nightmares?" He pauses and so you nod. "I'm here to help!"

You give a an unbelieving look. "How?"

He sits on the bed next to you, backing up and getting comfortable on the pillows. You just watch him. Then, he gestures for you to come into his embrace.

You do so slowly, definitely a tad bit skeptical of this advancement. But when you land safely in his arms, your anxiety shockingly fades away.

"Helping sweetheart?" He whispers into your ear, sending chills down your sound.

"Maybe" you barely mumble, blushing at the pet name.

"You can go to sleep. I'll be here to protect you from all the scary dreams."KK

You give him a look at his tone.

"What?"

"You don't have to make me feel like a child. I know it's weird I still get nightmares like this-"

"Sorry," he cuts you off. "I'm being serious, I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I promise I actually want to help."

You stare at the wall in front of you for a moment.

"Okay, you can try." You relax your eyes shut.

You feel Peter press a little kiss on the top of your head. Neither of you had initiated any kissing of any kind yet, but for some reason, you don't feel nervous at all.

In fact, you feel so relaxed that you fall asleep quickly.

~~~

You woke up to someone shaking your shoulder. You are frightened until you remember your lovely nighttime visitor.

"You were, like, kind of yelling and trashing around so I woke you up."

"Thanks." You smile. You have already forgotten the dream thanks to Peter as a distraction. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry for anything. I want to help you with this. You should've told me sooner."

You shake your head. "It's okay, I'm used to it."

At that, he doesn't respond. He just tightly wraps his arms around you and you feel him rest his face against your head.

A few moments later and you are asleep again.

~~~

The next morning, Peter is gone. The spot he had occupied all night was still warm. The sun is barely coming up, he must have just left so he wouldn't get caught.

Then you realize: no nightmares. You didn't have nightmares for the rest of the night.

Real talk: love can't cure mental illness. Love won't get rid of nightmares. Yes, it's nice to think about it and read about it but it's not true. If you are not ready for a relationship, don't force yourself to. You need to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else, best advice I've ever been given.

If you are struggling with nightmares, reach out. Talk to a professional or you can just DM me, I'm always available to listen if you want to just rant to an unbiased anonymous face on the internet.

Thanks for reading, don't steal (not kidding)!

Buy me a coffee?

[stardustedknuckles]

All of Mako's dumbass decisions wrt Korra and Asami make perfect sense when you consider that he's the only one of the core four who has had experience taking responsibility for anyone outside of himself. Asami hadn't taken over Future Industries yet. Korra was a sheltered kid from the south pole who was struggling with the weight of legacy and of her role as someone with her power. Bolin may have become Mako's teammate, but the pro bending and Mako's job at the factory were still in pursuit of taking care of the both of them.

So he's made a team with Bolin and another person and they're getting by. He's kept his head down his whole life, became a surrogate parent to Bolin at a very young age, had to turn to trade types of safety to keep them alive. He never focused on emulating anyone else or filling someone else's shoes, and yet he was the only one of the four of them who knew what it was to be depended on.

And then he meets Asami, who has her shit together and doesn't need him, and for once he gets to be around someone who's nice and funny and seems to appreciate all the work he's done to get where he is. He was what, 17? Obviously that had to feel good. There's nothing inherently wrong with how happy he was for he and his brother to have the good life for a while because he wasn't ever using Asami. You can say a lot about the way he treated his two girlfriends but neither of them were status symbols to him. That's what frustrated me the most about his decisions, was that he truly cared for the both of them and had no skills in dealing with any closeness that wasn't his brother.

So you have his relationship with korra, who is the avatar but mostly she's his best friend and someone unused to being seen for who she is and not what she can offer. He didn't take advantage of that, he actively helped develop her sense of self. Korra and Mako tied up every time Korra thought she needed his input and neither of them could tell if she was asking as Korra or the Avatar. Mako was always there for Korra, and being tasked with Avatar level advice was far beyond what he could offer. But neither could he tell Korra to look out just for her, because up until recently he's not had a day in his life to do that either. They just didn't mix, and that was unfortunate circumstance. Not malice.

I don't like hardly any of the actions he took once he was in relationships with korra or Asami but outside of them he was a loyal friend and a staunch ally. It was the expectation that came with being a boyfriend (in his mind) that gave him a complex about how to behave. He was used to being needed in a way Korra was grappling with as the Avatar and in a way Asami had a handle on as the daughter of the head of Future Industries. His cousin had it exactly right. He was so afraid to disappoint anyone that he ended up disappointing everyone.

But he didn't end there? Fast forward three years and he's a bodyguard to someone with a very different kind of power. And this one - this one NEEDS Mako's practicality, but he's through asserting his thoughts. He's had a long time to think about how he treated the people he cared about, and also there's the whole "make nice with royalty" thing.

Except everything changes when he snaps and tells the prince to get a fucking grip. Mako's back with his actual understanding of what it is to give a shit about someone else and he's fed up with Wu's ignorance and this time, his insight is exactly what's needed. Mako has a gift for seeing through the role someone plays to who they are, and who the prince was sucked. But he was also the first person Mako came down on who legitimately needed to hear that perspective.

Mako was never a bad character, he was a parent in some ways on a track parallel to korra (figuring out an identity beyond "Bolin's guardian") and Asami (someone comfortable with being a leader and the responsibility that entails). The fact that what he had to offer became a flaw in those relationships had to do with the different matchup of experiences clashing as everyone looked for their places in the events around them. It was never ill intent. Fear of hurting Korra and Asami is exactly what ended up doing it. Trying to please everyone is a perfectly reasonable flaw - and one that again mirrors Korra. Just that his crashed and burned interpersonally whereas Korra hit a wall on a grander scale.

Mako grew up very quickly with a host of interpersonal tools far ahead of his age and absolutely no clue how or when to use them - especially since he kept focusing on not hurting anyone else. Any behavior can cause problems in high enough concentrations. That's something the show tackled over and over.

Mako's character was internally consistent with the backstory and worldview he was given. In a saga predicated on legacy and expectation, Mako had neither up until he met Korra and Asami. Expectation threatened to cripple him, and just like Tenzin or the Bei Fong sisters or anyone else who struggled with what they were meant to do and be, he had his own journey and flaws along the way - he struggled under expectations that came from nobody but himself, same as the rest.

You don't have to like his actions. I certainly don't for most of the show when it comes to Korra and Asami. But seeing where they come from, seeing how he behaved according to his own story, he's a remarkably well developed character. He just wasn't what was needed from the two people he tried hardest to connect with, and unfortunately one of them was the protagonist and the other her eventual girlfriend. If you take a step outside the rhetoric of how he sucked at being their boyfriend, it's easier to see what exactly went into that. He was good. Just not good for them at the time they tried being something together. And that's perfectly normal and okay.