#like this pic just makes them So Believable you know??? like how practised they are in each other

[itsalwaysforyou]

they are everything to me

[thetruthaboutplastic]

Yes, this is the same person 😅 Just heavily photoshopped/filtered on the right. This is Ffyona McKeating, she may have changed the spelling of her name to try and throw people off a bit it seems but she owns a large company in the UK called The Consultant Clinic and as well as misrepresenting how she looks and giving herself the face of a different person she also heavily filters the before and after pictures for her oosmetic clinic (and by the way the ‘consultant’ in the name is misleading as there are barely if any actual consultant doctors working there, it’s mostly young junior doctors and dentists looking to earn more and she comes along to ‘help’ them).

This setup is truly bizarre but I’ll try and explain it as best as I can.. The story goes that she was a law graduate who never actually practised law but married a doctor (a ‘consultant ‘doctor as we would say in the UK) and pretended she was also a medic. They set up a business together but then the truth started to come out that she wasn’t actually a medic and so they split up. She’d been telling people she was and there are some who say she had injected them too. After the divorce she set up the ‘`Consultant Clinic’ in its current form and very strangely seems to like pointing our what she thinks is unethical and wrong in the industry, despite her own erm ‘issues.’ Someone I know actually had her young daughter’s photo stolen by `Ffyona, who then went on to pretend the little girl in question was HER daughter, posting the pic on her Instagram 🤡 What an absolute clown.. but she has a huge following of people, including a fair number of doctors and medics, who have no idea. So moral of the story is things are not always what they seem so please don’t make choices or believe everything you see on social media.

She posted a story of a doctor this week (this time a real doctor lol`), Dr Esho, a well known celebrity injector who’s been suspended here in the UK for sexual misconduct There is quite a lot of misconduct going on here, just as there is in other countries, where you would think rules would be followed stringently. I know of a few surgeons in the US caught sleeping with clients and doing all sorts of unethical, if not literally criminal, things.

[themonotonysyndrome]

The Holy Quintet in Twisted Wonderland! (all 7 dorms - Part 1)

This is the third piece of TW x PMMM crossover! The girls have been sorted to their respective dorms and now we have them interacting with the other 6 dorms. This is also gonna be a long one separated to a few parts so buckled up!

Hope you guys enjoyed it! I appreciate the patience. 

-

Akemi Homura & the other dorms (except Scarabia)

HEARTSLABYUL!

Seeing that there’s so many unpredictable danger in TW, Mami wanted the girls to improve their magic in case they’re ever in a pinch. 

Since Sayaka hasn’t unlock the full potential of her magic, Homura figured that it’d be beneficial for them as a team if she lends a hand or give her a few advices (after countless time loops, Homura is aware on what Sayaka could do with her magic without the danger of turning into Oktavia).

The students of Heartslabyul at first bar her from entering their dorm and Homura was about to brush them off and just freezes time for being such a nuisance until one of them explain that they needed to announce her presence to Riddle and Trey first before they could enter. Then they brought her to the lounge.

They warned her of the Queen of Heart’s many, many rules and that their Dorm Leader would be crossed if she would break them and that had her wondering how the exuberant Sayaka survive here.

She noted in mild interest when the students eagerly inform them that Sayaka is doing well for herself in Heartslabyul and fondly calling her their cute knight after she helps out with their Unbirthday Parties and protect the hedgehogs and other small critters.

Riddle caught Homura conversing with the students in the lounge and took this opportunity to invite her to their Unbirthday Party that they’ll be having in a few hours. Curious about this fussy dorm, Homura accepts.

Homura, Sayaka, Ace and Deuce ran around handling the cute hedgehogs and pink flamingos. Ace wanted to leave the chores to Homura since she could round the animals up in a blink of an eye but Deuce stops him before Trey or Riddle could hear him. When asked about Homura’s magic, Sayaka retort not to bothered. She and the rest of the girls don’t even know the full details about it.

When the long table is laden with food and drinks and everyone’s having a good time, Sayaka and Homura sat at the furthest end of the table where it’s quieter. Normally guests are supposed to sit beside the Dorm Leader and Vice Dorm Leader, but ever since his Overblot episode, Riddle let them to talk amongst themselves when Homura insists it’s important.

As the two girls talk, the Heartslabyul gang couldn’t help but observe their interaction. Homura’s expression remain serious the moment she steps into the dorm and as the seconds grow longer, they saw Sayaka’s smile slowly turning into a scowl. Trey and Cater already jog to them when Sayaka raised her voice and Homura is frustrated.

“Why should I listen to you about my magic when you’re never honest about yours? How would you even know about what my magic can really do, hah?”

“You’re as foolish as ever, Miki Sayaka. If you don’t even know how to use your magic, how can you even call yourself a Magical Girl?”

“Whoa, whoa, everything alright here? C’mon, it’s a party! Everyone is supposed to have fun!”

“Thank you for inviting me to your Unbirthday Party, Rosehearts-san. I’ll be taking my leave now.” In a flash, Homura vanishes without so much as waiting for a ‘by your leave’.

After that exchange, Sayaka had to explain to everyone that despite how Homura would sometimes aid them in hunting and killing Witches, they’re not exactly good friends. Homura is as shady as they come and keep her information very close to her chest. Not to mention that her odd attachment to Madoka is a little troubling.

The Heartslabyul gang took her words with considerations but the boys wanted to judge Homura for themselves.

To Ace and Deuce, it’s kinda comical to see Kalim hovering around her, cracking jokes and trying to make her laugh but only receive a fond shake of her head instead. Other than that, she kept to herself and if she isn’t studying, she's eyeing their magical crystal with a dangerous gleam in her eyes. The duo subconsciously put away their pens whenever she’s around.

Trey found Homura to be polite and reserved when approached. She’s willing to help you out with any mundane things as long as you ask nicely. But sometimes, Trey feels that Homura has a skill in avoidance. No one really see her in the crowd of first year students heading to class but then there she is, the first one in her seat! Trey hopes that Kalim and Jamil can help her relax a little because something in Trey tells him that she’s a ticking time bomb.

Cater wants her for a selfie! His Magicam followers would never believe that NRC has a mysterious raven beauty as a student. When word spread of Homura’s ability to disappear in a blink of an eye, he takes it as a challenge to snap her pic. When he told her about this, Homura rolled her eyes. He can try.

Now, Riddle. He couldn’t help but frown whenever he sees Homura passing by in the hallways. Her bickering with Sayaka during the Unbirthday Party left quite an impression on this Dorm Leader (he has a soft spot for Sayaka after the whole overblot ordeal. Sure, it left him bruised and bloodied for days afterwards but she did saved his life. Plus, she also apologised for not realising her own strength). 

Despite presenting herself properly, Riddle wonders if she’s a little like him. That she has something dark brewing inside her based on some traumatic events. He understands that Homura means well when she tried to advice Sayaka about her magic (after all, he did try to impart on his dorm mates the importance to maintain order by following the Queen of Hearts’ rules).  

Maybe if ever they crossed path, he could share his experiences with Homura in hopes that she opens up a little. Telling her that her friends will gladly help her if she just asked them.

Dragging herself through many, many timelines not only hardened her as a person, but they also made her jaded. Nevertheless, Homura quietly promise to herself once Riddle left; to try and save not only Madoka from Walpurgisnacht, but also her friends from their fates. She continues to hope once more.  

SAVANACLAW!      

Like above, Homura would only approach the Savanaclaw dorm if she has to talk to Kyouko. Only this time, she didn’t bother announcing herself. Just freezes time and walk right towards Kyouko’s room. Once time is unfrozen, the students will comment on an unfamiliar feminine scent that somehow walk past by them undetected! 

Kyouko wasn’t surprise that Homura suddenly appear in her bedroom. Already well-used to her antics. Boredly, she asked what Homura wanted as she lied on her bed. Packet of snacks scattered around her.  

Since Kyouko often spar with the Savanaclaw students, Homura request for a favour. She wants to observe her fights against them just to see how far their magical crystals can be push before overblotting. 

Kyouko refuses predictably until Homura offered her help in classes. She’s even willing to help her cheat in a test if Kyouko want. In the end, Kyouko accepted Homura’s requests. 

(Homura didn’t bother to persuade Kyouko to use her magic. It’s up to Kyouko to overcome her past in order to wield her illusions power again)

When Leona’s actually in the mood to spar a little, especially against Kyouko, Homura is at the bleachers with her arms crossed against her chest. Students from other dorms sometimes watch their trainings but never one of Kyouko’s girl friends before other than Sayaka. 

(Sayaka has a habit of loudly cheering from the stands, jumping with glee whenever Kyouko kicked a burly student across the field. Kyouko would preen and smirks at every cheer. This lead the boys wondering if there’s something more going on between the two of them; the Heartslabyul Knight and their Savanaclaw Brawler) 

Leone felt like he’s under a microscope during their spar when he noticed Homura staring at them. Kyouko made no secret of her request and Leona’s quirk an eyebrow. Well, she’s not Rook but Leona’s gut is telling him that as someone who’s skilled in hunting Witches, Beastmen would be a good practise for this girl. 

But Leona wants to show off so that in the next Magishift Tournament, Homura knows just who she’ll be facing. This lion ain’t backing down! 

Leona can be petty, too. After Kyouko’s explaination, he ordered Ruggie to use his Unique Magic on her. Forcing her to show her own magic for once. 

Ruggie steal the opportunity during lunchtime. A harmless prank, really. He just wants her to trip and drop her food tray. However, he never expected to be frozen in time. Unlike Mami’s ribbon, Ruggie’s ‘Laugh With Me’ couldn’t hold her. So the moment her body suddenly acted on her own, Homura uses her shield to froze time and found a student in similar uniform to Kyouko mimicking the same moves as her. Disgruntled, she packed her food and left the cafeteria before releasing her magic. 

Ruggie is left standing, dumbfounded that Homura could escape his magic! She’s trickier than he expected. When he reported back to Leona, it just fuelled him to really uncover what she’s hiding, though he knows that Kalim and Jamil won’t appreciate him meddling with one of their student.

Jack is put off with Homura’s aloofness and that says something! He sees her friendship with Kyouko as something that’s build on necessity with little trust. Always lurking around and her head in books as if she’s chasing after something. 

He would curtly nod at her if they walk by but never do anything more than that.         

For Homura, she couldn’t care less about Leona, Ruggie and Jack. As long as they don’t butt into her business, she sees no conflict between them. Plus, they kept Kyouko preoccupied. 

OCTAVINELLE!     

On the second day as a student of NRC, Kalim explains about the other dorms to Homura as best as he could. Bless his heart, Jamil had to fill in the rest and more important characteristics of the dorms. 

In the beginning, all she knows about Octavinelle are that the students are intelligent, most of them are mermen and the Dorm Leader is someone named Azul Ashengrotto and his Vice Dorm Leader, Jade Leech. 

Before Kamil and Jamil left for their own classes, Jamil murmurs to Homura to watch herself when it comes to those two and someone named Floyd Leech. 

One day, Madoka - who wanted to spend some time with Homura - suggest that they have lunch at a café called the Mostro Lounge. Homura did her best not to show her hesitation to Madoka when she realised that they needed to step through a mirror since the café is in the Octavinelle dorm.  

It’s still a bit early before the lunch rush, so the girls were quickly seated and attended to by a few servers from the dorm. 

Trouble begins after they ordered their food and Floyd stroll in with Jade in tow, ready for their shifts.

Not one to miss an opportunity to interact with these otherworldly girls, Floyd loudly introduces himself and Jade with a bloodthirsty grin. Homura already disliked his presence. 

Seeing how unresponsive Homura is to his twin’s greeting and Madoka’s shy reply, Jade smoothly interjects. Playing the part of a perfect gentleman, he inquiries if the girls have ordered their food and drinks, have they gotten used to their dorms and etc. He’s not at all deter at Homura’s clipped answers or Madoka’s nervous stammers.   

After all, Azul wanted to know what magic these girls bring to their world. If possible, the Dorm Leader wanted to strike a deal with them.  

The atmosphere around the table is already tense and Homura wondered if it’s best to leave for the cafeteria instead when Azul enters the fray. Like Jade, he made sure to behave properly, offering a courteous smile as he introduces himself.  

“I’m happy that the Mostro Lounge receive such beautiful patrons today! Truly I am lucky.” 

“T-That’s nice of you to said that, Ashengrotto-san.” 

“...”

“Please, the pleasure is all mine. If you or any of your friends have any trouble adjusting to this college, I’ll be more than happy to a lend a hand for a... right price.” 

That set warning alarms off in Homura’s head. Immediately.  

Thankfully their lunch went by peacefully, though Floyd continues to irk Homura of his pestering, but the decor and otherwise calm atmosphere made their meal pleasant. 

It’s only when Homura caught rumours that those who made a deal with Azul must signed a contract for their wish to be fulfil but it always ended up kicking them in the asses. 

Homura made the decision to stay away from him and the Leech Brothers at all cost and if Azul approaches her or god forbid, Madoka, she’ll made him regret it. 

She’s not looking forward to deal with another Kyuubey. (besides, she might not be able to kill the Incubator but a bullet between Azul’s eyes should do the trick. She never kill anything other than a Witch before, but should Azul threatens Madoka then it’s a first time for everything). 

Azul sees Homura as a tough nut to crack, so pulling information from her would be a waste of effort. Better focus on the other girls. He thought that he held his demeanour perfectly during their little lunch, so why is she glaring at him whenever he had the unfortunate chance thei path crossed? 

Floyd finds Homura boring. She hardly react when he tries to get a rise out of her. Though the slap Homura gave on his hand when the eel boy wanted to touch Madoka’s ribbons was surprisingly strong. Like Cater, he made a little game catch her off guard, but by squeezing her. She’s so slippery though. It’s fun! 

Jade doesn’t really have any problem with Homura. He’s curious about her; why does it feel like her wariness of them is something personal? Has she been taken advantaged before?  

Jade has not forgotten how quick she attack the headmaster during the entrance ceremony. He’ll play it cautiously and see what he can use against the girl. 

It’s not fair if Homura holds all the cards to herself.   

POMEFIORE! 

Homura actually stumble across Mami and Rook during their shooting practise in the archery field. They were supposed to meet up for research but she waited until they noticed her.  

It was sweet how Rook treated Mami and it was surprising to Homura that she accepts every praise with a small smile, her cheeks red.  

In a way, their interaction assured Homura that Mami wouldn’t be lonely in Pomefiore. Hopefully that means she’ll be able to emotionally grow while they’re stuck here in TW. 

It was only when Rook packed up that he realise Homura has been watching them the entire time. No one ever stalked the hunter before. Coloured him impressed! 

Rook offered Homura to joined their shooting sessions whenever she’s free. Her aim during the entrance ceremony was precise and quick just like Mami. It’d be nice if the three of them could get together sometimes. 

Homura didn’t made any promises, but she informs him that she’ll keep his offer in mind. 

Mami and Rook brought her to the study rooms in Pomefiore. There are a few students studying nearby and Homura noted how the boys would pull a chair out for her and Mami and offered their assistance if they need any books. Like a princess, Mami thanked them but require nothing for now. 

“The students here are very... gracious.”

“You’ll get used to it, Akemi-san.” 

Homura presented Mami her books and data that she could gathered and in return, Mami toss theories back and forth. The two were at it until Epel came over to asked Mami for an impromptu Alchemy tutoring. He backtracks when he spotted thick papers and books between the girls. 

Homura agreed without a fuss to change their research for school work. She needs to go over her own Alchemy notes as well. 

To Epel, Homura is intimidating. Not as severe as Vil, but there’s an ice cold wall she erected around herself. Even when she helped grammar checked his notes, she gives off an impression that she’s waiting to be dismissed. 

Unfortunately for her, a Pomefiore student came by to announced that Vil and Rook has invited Mami and any of her company to tea. Before either Epel or Homura could run, Mami accepts on their behalf. 

“Schoenheit-san is an amazing person, Akemi-san. He taught me a lot during out short stay here.” 

“Other people would have a different opinion, Tomoe-san...” 

“Al-Asim-san mentioned that he’s very strict towards the students in this dorm. And that he also hold himself in high regards.” 

“The way I see it, he earns the right to do so. Would you like to understand him better, Akemi-san?” 

“No point in refusing now.”

“Urgh, tea time with Vil. This is gonna be a drag.” 

The setting that Mami brought them is picturesque. Apparently, Pomefiore has their own fairytale-like garden; well maintained and immaculate. 

“So this must be your elusive... companion, gem. A pleasure. I am Vil  Schoenheit, Dorm Leader of Pomefiore.” 

Throughout their tea time, Homura did her best not to squirm under Vil’s scrutinized eyes. He would promptly correct her when she reach out for the wrong silverware and not to slouch. Mentally, she sympathise Epel for having to endure Vil’s nagging.

(There’s no way Kyouko would survive 5 minutes in this dorm) 

Although Homura did not carry herself in the same way as Mami does, Vil regard her as a flower that only blooms at night, so only a few could witness its beauty. He offers to make her look more beautiful the next time she visits Pomefiore. 

Rook asked how she’s settling in Scarabia and how the students are treating her there. He’s genuinely surprise that if the topics aren’t about her personal life or magic, she can talk quite a lot. Homura told them about the refreshing mint teas that they introduced her, how despite energetic and loud Kalim can be, he understood when she needed some space and how patient and hard working Jamil is in attending not Kalim, but the entire dorm as well. 

Mami let Homura talk away with a small knowing smile. It’s good that Homura is focusing on other things than Madoka for once. 

Before she left, Homura humoured Vil’s request when he wanted to see her Magical Girl outfit. He ‘hmm’-ed and nodded to self, commenting how her heels and dress are designed for practicality rather than to show off; it’s a little plain though. Like Mami, he sketch her outfit in his drawing book for inspiration. 

Homura felt like she should feel insulted over Vil commenting that her Magical Girl outfit is plain but in the end, couldn’t find it in herself to be bothered.

IGNIHYDE!

Among the students in NRC, Idia is the first one who uncovers Homura’s time magic. 

Since he doesn’t attend classes physically and have eyes around campus through surveillance cameras, he caught Homura’s disappearing act more times than he can count. This boy is instantly curious on how she could even evade his cameras! 

So he analyse the surveillance cameras and noticed that whenever she uses her magic, her Shield would crack open; showing spinning gears and purple sands gleam like stardust but in the next frame, the Shield is closed. Idia deduced that her Shield must be her Unique Magic. But how does it work? What’s the connection between the sands and gears?  

Idia actually feels a little bad stalking Homura through his cameras, but his curiousity has been itching him ever since the girl directed her strange weapon at the headmaster. Isekai’ed weapons are the coolest!

His luck came in the form of Ortho. From his room, Idia watches as his little brother and the Magical Girl interacted in the courtyard. Ortho was carrying some snacks for their gaming session, bought from Sam’s shop and Homura happens to be done with her classes for the day. 

Idia saw Ortho trips and Homura is suddenly holding him steady by his arm, the snacks are secured in her hold. That shouldn’t be possible when Homura is nowhere near Ortho. So Idia rewind and replay the footage but again, it explained nothing. 

When Ortho return to Ignihyde, he didn’t waste any time to tell all about his new friend! How she swooped in and saved him like a hero. Homura was taken aback when she discovered that he’s a cyborg and Ortho explained that Idia was the one who built him. When Idia asked if she did anything strange, Ortho just commented that Homura keeps touching her ring. Could her ring be her magic crystal? 

The next time Ortho and Homura meet up, he invited her to hang out with him and his older brother at their dorm. Idia could’ve die from a heart attack the moment he heard her voice outside of his door. 

On a bad day, Idia could barely stand to be around people, but a pretty girl in his bedroom? Playing games with him and his brother? Dear Hades save him! 

Meanwhile, Homura recalled what Ignihyde meant to represent. An advancement of magical technology. In a way, her time Shield is a magical technology, so is that why her magic reacted positively with Ortho and this dorm itself? 

Despite the gloominess of Ignihyde and Idia’s skittish personality, Homura actually found herself enjoying the Shroud brothers’ company. Ortho is a sweetheart; patiently instructing her how to play their games and explain how most of their techs work. 

When Idia wouldn’t stop squirming beside her, Homura calmly ask him to spit out what’s on his mind. She didn’t rebuked him when Idia asked how she’s been escaping from his cameras. That he didn’t mean anything bad, just curious. 

Homura sees this as an opportunity to strike up an alliance. She told Idia that she’s willing to tell him about her magic, but it needs to keep between them and in return, she hopes that he could help her with her Shield. 

Idia is overjoy to discover such an OP Unique Magic! To him, Homura’s magic is a cheat code that he sometimes daydream of having when classes are a drag! He’s like a kid in the candy store as Homura withdraw books, a comb and a flash bang from her shield (so it’s also a dimensional storage!), demonstrated by holding his and Ortho’s hands how her time magic works and lets him take a closer look at her Shield. The dorm leader is more than happy to help improved her Shield and see how far they can push the limit of her magic safely.

If you think Madoka and Malleus’ friendship is odd, Homura and Idia is equally so. Even if their alliance is purely professional, Homura always made time to hang out with Ortho and when Idia ventures outside, Homura would walk alongside him so he won’t be overwhelmed. Passing students would murmur when they see the two of them together.  

To the Shroud brothers, Homura is a good friend, if a little aloof. Idia likens her to a stray cat; she welcomes to visit Ignihyde (oh gosh, a girl actually wants to hang out with him in his room!) and goes as she please. He enjoys debating on the difference of their magic and that she doesn’t judge his hobbies and games. 

Ortho is just happy that his older brother has a friend! One that can match his online snarky and hammy persona with her sarcasm and wit when they livestream together. Plus, she would come over and ask Ortho he needs help whenever she’s free.  

DIASOMNIA!

The second TW’s character to uncovers Homura’s time magic is Lilia. And that was completely accidental! 

You see, words has gotten around NRC of Homura’s vanishing and appearing act and being a trickster who loves to appear out of nowhere and startle the other students, Lilia wanted to surprise Homura the most! 

When the ancient Fae asked Madoka while they were in her room (she allows him to comb her hair and how can she refuse seeing it makes Lilia so happy) if she knows how her friend does it, Madoka shook her head and reply that none of them actually know the full extend of Homura’s magic. Just that she can summon and stored firearms off any sizes inside her Shield without any limit.

Lilia then asked Malleus, Silver and Sebek if their magic could discern what sort of magic Homura’s uses. Since Malleus’ magic is broader and more in tune with otherworldly aspects as a dark Fae, Malleus could only put into words that her magic is something that acts as a foundation of their dimension, in a sense. Metaphysical. Unfortunately, Homura has been using her magic sparingly so Malleus didn’t actually had enough time to decipher what it is. 

Malleus’ words weight heavy in Lilia’s mind. In all his ancient years, he has never come across a human with such powerful magic! A magic like that would definitely come with a heavy price. After all, humans can never control powers that are beyond their realm of understanding. 

(Ouch, hitting a little too close to home there, Lilia).

So one day, when Lilia caught Homura leaving the Ignihyde dorm (Idia sure love to brag about her whenever he and Lilia are playing online tournament matches), Lilia snuck up behind her. What he didn’t expect though, was Homura’s fast reflex. However, when she turn around to grab his hand before he could touch her, her Shield freezes time right at that exact moment. So Lilia witness with wide eyes how the world around them stood on a standstill and easily figured out her magic.  

“Ho, ho, what a surprise! To think a young human possess the ability to bend time to her whim! I understand now.” 

Well, Homura’s first introduction to Lilia Vanrouge went off a rocky start. Seeing how upset he made her, Lilia is all smile, promising that he won’t spread the truth about her magic. He also encourage her to trust her friends about it, since anything could happen after all. 

When Homura puts away her shield, Lilia offer to make it up to her. Madoka has actually been waiting to spend some time with her. Why don’t they all have a midnight tea party at Diasomnia? Doesn’t she wants to see how Madoka has been faring in their dorm? With Madoka as the bait, he chuckles when Homura accepts his offer without hesitation. 

It’s Lilia that floated near the staircase inside of Diasomnia, watching how Madoka happily invite Homura in. From how coldly she treated him earlier that day, she’s docile when Madoka grab her hand and gently pull her along, how soft and sweet her voice is when she answered Madoka’s questions. 

The moon is full when they arrive at the rooftop. The table and tea things are laid out and their company for the evening were waiting for them. Silver is lightly dozing, his head resting on the table. Sebek is fussing around the table, pouring tea for Malleus first before the other cups. Malleus flash a small welcoming smile to Homura who nods in return. 

Homura let Madoka be, heart at ease that she’s comfortable and happy with this group. Unnoticed by her, Lilia is observing Homura the same way. Well, she’s polite if reserved, but tend to smiles more around Madoka though she grimace when Madoka told her that they’ve been helping Madoka hone her magic better. It’s clear she wanted to interject but held herself back. 

Later in the privacy of his bedroom, Lilia realised that Homura has the eyes of a soldier. Hardened and weary, but one that is still fighting. Now what foe could Homura be fighting against even after crossing over to this world? 

There is a story hidden that only Homura is aware of and until the day arrive when she could finally be honest with not only herself, but also her friends, all Lilia could offer is his assurance that Diasomnia looks after their own. Madoka is no different. 

Malleus wonders if he and Homura shares a lot in common. The two tend to brood and kept to themselves after all (though Malleus suspect that the later might be a personal preference for Homura). Madoka had nothing but good words about the raven haired girl so he figured there must be something else going on in the background. 

He could only detect the basis of her magic when she vanishes near him. He wonders if her magic is as powerful as his and how good of a fighter she is. After their midnight party, the two often nod at one another if they passed by in campus. Malleus appreciate that she will sits beside him in class when Lilia and his group aren’t with him. 

Silver doesn’t know a lot about Homura to actually hold an opinion about her, other than what Madoka told them. He’s aware that people can be biased when it comes to their dear friend. But since she and Malleus seems to be a lot more amiable than before, he hopes that Homura won’t try do anything against them. 

Sebek treats Homura the same way how he treats the other human students. If they don’t have anything to do with his lord, then he doesn’t care about them. Though he will tolerate her presence when Madoka invites her into Diasomnia. He overheard Lilia mentioning that Homura reminds him of the soldiers that he fought alongside with all those many years ago and Sebek wondered what does that add into her mystery. 

As for Homura? She’s the last person to judge the Diasomnia gang and if they truly care for Madoka then perhaps she can pour her energy and time to planning on how to return home. 

She won’t admit it but Homura respect Lilia. When she’s feeling practically brave, she would quietly ask for advice on how to expand her magic and how to learn hand-to-hand combat.  

Sebek is just too loud for her taste. Does that boy ever calm down? He can dismiss her all he likes, it good to know that Sebek has a 1 track mind when it comes to Malleus. That makes him predictable to Homura.  

When Silver suddenly drop to sleep in front of her, Homura startles. Thinking that he’s ill or worse, she actually call for help. Only when the other students about his habit of falling unconscious at any given time or place did Homura let out a sigh of relieved. But just in case, she made sure that Silver is sleeping at a safe and open spot so the Diasomnia students could see before leaving. 

Malleus exude the same type of yearning that Mami has, Homura figured that out after their midnight tea party. They yearn for bonds to ease their loneliness. No doubt that Madoka would definitely help this tall Fae come out from his shell little by little. As of now the two have a mutual respect of one another.    

-

Wow, this took 2 days to write! Yeah, it’s a good idea to separate this part into each girls. Anyway, sorry for any grammar or spelling errors! Editing this took time. 

[peanutpinet]

Lin Yanjun (mentor) x reader

In honor of finishing my 5th semester that the final assignment was to do a major composition (and I somewhat reference Yanjun a bit, okay, I used some of his pics to enhance my composition but yea), this is a one-shot of Yanjun from a dream I had of him. In this dream, he was sorta, one of the mentors for the Youth With You competition and you’re his secret girlfriend.

It was no shock that this cold making joke person also appears cold since the majority of time, his face was basically an RBF. But seeing it in real-life gives you even more chills. Especially when he is the mentor of many trainees. Lin Yanjun, debuted as the 5th member of Nine Percent back in the first ever Youth With You or Idol Producer as it was known. Now, he, along with his ex-bandmates are all mentors to the new 100 (girl) trainees.

Though he seemed unapproachable due to his cold (RBF) looks, he was actually kind and caring towards the trainees; just like his bandmates. Each of them paid close attention, point out the trainees’ mistakes and even practiced with them to make the trainees feel more comfortable with them. Not to mention, when Yanjun was not only known to be the master of cold jokes but also flirting. Whenever some trainees seemed stressed, Yanjun would always either make a lame, cold joke to lighten up the mood or even flirt when they were practising (ofc to a friendship kind of level). Which is why it’s not a surprised when many trainees get excited when they see him walking along the hallway, waving at them or even when they have classes with him.

However, there was one secret about Yanjun that only his family and bandmates know (and a few other ppl that he trust). That is, Yanjun actually already have a girlfriend. That’s right. This cold (yet hot) face that loves making lame/cold jokes and flirt with literally everything is in fact already taken. Which is why he doesn’t flirt as much as he used to. He knows how flirting can make their significant other feel. Which is the main reason why he tones it down, unless he is with his girlfriend, of course.

He met his girlfriend not too long before becoming a mentor, from one of his shoots for a film. But due to the difference in country origin, the two had to be in a long distance relationship. Though worried how it’ll affect their relationship, it turns out that the long distance actually made them even closer than ever before. No matter how busy both their schedules were, they would always connect each other through messaging applications and even find the time to have a long call with each other at least once every two weeks.

Yanjun wouldn’t admitted it but he does miss the physical interaction and quiet moments when he in the same country as his girlfriend. Especially when he had a long day of work. It doesn’t help that today was one of those days. It has only been 3 months since he last saw his girlfriend, and 1 month since he became a mentor. Normally, it wasn’t as bad since he would normally get the morning classes instead of the late ones like Kun (because he is the main PD in my dream while Yanjun and Ziyi are side PDs). Unfortunately, this day was not his day. Because the trainees were now finalising their performances for the position evaluations and he was in charge of the vocal groups.

For the past month, the trainees were all doing well in class. But for some reason, when it was time to practice on the actual stage, Yanjun noticed multiple mistakes. Whether it was their pronounciations on several english words of the song, their synchronization, or even when they were off-key. This resulted in Yanjun staying back for quite a long time, dismissing his break time and even eating schedule. To Yanjun, if he hasn’t finished work, then he wouldn’t take a break. Especially when the trainees still want to keep going.

It took a lot out of him, pointing out the trainees’ mistakes, repeating each part multiple times before repeating the performance as a whole. After what seemed to be hours of reteaching the trainees and giving them encouragement, Yanjun was finally done for the day. But unfortunately, it was not a good sign for the trainees who were seeing him the next day.

Throughout the whole morning, Yanjun didn’t give any smile whatsoever. Returning to his RBF face due to lack of rest and food. It even escalated when one of the staffs mentioned to him that he had to go to one of the stage halls before all the other staffs and trainees. Though slightly irritated, Yanjun kept it to himself and headed towards the stage halls. Passing through the hallways of the dorms, Yanjun kept a cold gaze and attitude. Only nodding to the trainees and staff he passed by while the trainees bowed at him, not wanting to meet with his cold gaze.

When he finally reached the stage hall, he heard music playing. Confused to why there was music, he closed the hall and slowly crept towards the stage, seeing a familiar figure. As he got closer, he caught a glimpse of the mysterious figure that was right before the stage. Recognising the figure, Yanjun crept every so slowly and hugged them by the waist, placing his head on the crook of their neck.

“Well, I’ve missed you too Jun” you giggled, turning around to see your boyfriend

“Is this why you didn’t text me back this morning? After a long, dreadful day I had the other day?” Yanjun complained, his breath was by your neck

“I wanted it to be a surprise. Did you know how hard was it to get permission? Not to mention coming here without the worry that someone may get a picture of me? I practically had to have the other 8 boys, especially Kun, Justin and Zhangjing beg the producer to allow me to come” you complained back, but in a more playful tone

“Thank you for coming. Thank you for taking the time to come all the way here, just for me” Yanjun sighed, hugging you even tighter, kissing the side of your cheek

“Well, I didn’t come here just for you. That’d be selfish” you teased

“Well, I’m hurt now. Can’t believe you didn’t come here just for me” Yanjun pouted, pulling away from the hug

“You’re adorable when you’re jealous. Don’t you think I don’t know about your flirting with the trainees?” you confronted him

“Well, I toned it down. I know that you would get jealous. But like, they’re my students. While the boys are basically, them!! And let’s not even start with Justin” Yanjun exaggerated

“Alright, alright. C’mon, let’s go have haidilao!! I already made reservations!!” you exclaimed, pulling Yanjun’s hand and directing him towards the back exit

“Hehehe, alright, alright. It better be just the both of us!!” Yanjun warned, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, kissing the side of your temple as the two of you went out to have lunch

Ahhh!!! Another story about Yanjun. Alright, originally, in the dream, Yanjun knew you were coming and he locked all the doors to make sure the two of you have your privacy but I decided to elaborate more. Also, quick note, in my idea, Yanjun, Kun and Ziyi are all PDs but Kun is still the main PD. Yanjun takes care of vocals, Ziyi with rap and Kun with dance but all three takes care of the stage performance. This is mainly because Kun and Yanjun have both become leaders and centres before. While I chose Ziyi because he is just so sweet when it comes to group performances and all. Alright, thank you for reading!!

[mcheang]

Explosion box

Post Miracle Queen. I was just inspired because I just bought a Frozen 2 explosion box and it makes me think this is something Marinette would make for Chat/Adrien. This is a rough draft of fluffy Adrienette.

Marinette needs to give Chat power-up cheese but she also wants to express thanks to Chat because he is her only safe place right now.

Pretty much everyone believes Lila now.

Adrien and Kagami don’t but it is too painful for Marinette to interact with them.

The first, outermost box is styled after Chat. When opened, Chat can find written recipes to make his own cheese, and additional Guardian information. A sign that Marinette trusts him and sees him as her partner...and also that he is her successor if she fails. That is a scary thought and Chat decides to continue opening the box.

The second box is Ladybug themed. When opened, Chat finds messages from the Kwamis. Some like Wayzz and Longg offer sage advice. Some like Pollen and Tikki offer encouragement. Others like Xuupu just offer funny bits of nonsense. Kaalki actually gave advice on how to treat sore feet.

The third box is actually Marinette themed. Pink polka dots on red background. When opened, Chat discovers Marinette’s messages to him. On one wall, she decides to share a personal bit of information: her favourite Color. The second wall is reminders of how Chat has saved Ladybug both physically and emotionally. The third wall is what Ladybug likes about Chat and how she wants him to stay the same (this was inspired by her encounter with Chat Blanc). The fourth wall has photos of them tucked inside.

The last, smallest box is miraculous box themed. Inside is the cheese.

Adrien loves the box and cherishes it. He practically rereads Ladybug’s messages a hundred times.

A few days later, Adrien is helping Marinette proofread an English essay. He recognizes her handwriting.

Adrien promptly freaks out and excuses himself to do it privately in the bathroom while Plagg calms him down.

Adrien finds it hard to meet Marinette’s eyes and keeps blushing when he sees her or hears her or is just near her- which means he is red in the face for the rest of the school day.

Back at home, Adrien is kicking himself for not realising that his Everyday Ladybug is literally Ladybug. And it also makes so much sense since Miracle Queen, Marinette had looked sadder lately and seemed to be under more stress.

Adrien wants to make her feel better and support her, and reveal his identity.

He decides to do so by making his own, admittedly less impressive explosion box.

It takes some time but after Marinette comes home from school, she finds a pink explosion box on her desk.

Immediately suspecting Chat, she freaks out until Tikki calms her enough so she can open it.

The pink box’s inner walls show how Marinette is an Everyday Ladybug. She helps everyone, is immensely brilliant and creative, stands up to bullies and liars, and will even stand up to akumas without powers.

The second box is a Chat-themed box. It states what Chat loves about his lady, and even mentions when he fell in love with her.

This pretty much confirms Marinette’s suspicions Chat knows who she is.

The third box is Ladybug themed. It encourages Marinette in the face of her adversaries: Hawkmoth, akumas, Lila, and Chloe. (Yeah, Adrien has been supporting Marinette more than ever class in recently now that he knows the 2 mean girls have it out for both her identities). Chat tells Marinette she doesn’t have to face them alone, and this actually brings tears to her eyes.

The last box is a small blue box. Inside is a photo of Ladybug and Chat. The second is a photo of Adrien and Marinette, taken by Alya. (Yeah, Adrien had to ask a thrilled Alya for that since he doesn’t have any of his own. He also asked for that startrain pic.) there is a note telling Marinette that his favourite color is blue and that when she is ready, to meet him on her balcony.

Marinette promptly freaks out that Chat is Adrien. Tikki disapproves that he revealed his identity without permission.

After gathering her composure, Marinette climbs outside and finds Adrien waiting. She is holding the pink box and her eyes are red.

Adrien shuffles nervously. “Did you like it?”

Marinette launches herself at him, squeezing him in a hug and crying. “You stupid Chat! How could you reveal yourself this way.?”

Adrien: I recognised your handwriting and thought to even the scale.

Marinette stops sobbing. “It was beautiful, Chat.”

“I’m sorry for the sudden reveal.”

“Don’t be. We knew Master Fu when he was the Guardian. You can know me. And it would have only imbalanced our partnership if only you knew.”

Adrien continues hugging Marinette.

“So...what now? I need a moment to reconcile myself with today before I can think of a plan.”

Adrien chuckled. “Well...how about I take you out for dinner?”

“Like a date?” This should have been a dream come true for Marinette, but her conscience was nagging at her.

“Of course.”

Marinette tilted her head, frowning. “What about Kagami?”

Adrien flushed. “I never went out on a date with her since Frozer.”

Marinette continued frowning. She knew Kagami and Adrien had been flirting. She won’t allow Adrien to just dismiss that. “I saw you eat ice cream together. You were flirting.”

It was true, Adrien had to admit that. He flirted with Kagami more now. But they still weren’t in an official relationship yet. What was supposed to be a beautiful reveal was turning into an awkward nightmare.

“I won’t deny that,” Adrien said, his eyes pleading. “But you know I’ve always loved you.”

“And I’ve always loved you, too,” Marinette confessed. Adrien’s eyes grew wide. “Ever since you gave me your umbrella. But Kagami is our Friend and we can’t do this to her. Not when you’ve raised her hopes.”

Adrien slumped. “But I can’t date her now. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us if I’m not committed to it.”

“I’m not asking you to,” Marinette soothed. “But you need to discourage Kagami first. Until then, we’ll have to stay friends.”

Adrien’s eyes were sad but he understood and agreed with her decision. “Until then.”

At least now they had something to look forward to.

From that day on, Adrien and Marinette were attached to the hip, bantering like old friends. Everyone was stunned to see the absence of Marinette’s stutter and Adrien’s sudden clinginess to her.

Lila and Chloe were unhappy but they can go cry a river somewhere else. With Adrien beside her, Marinette finally felt she wasn’t alone in class.

Alya is annoyed that they aren’t dating yet.

At fencing practise, Adrien stops flirting with Kagami. It isn’t long before she confronts him and deduces he has finally hit his original target. Adrien admits it to be so. Kagami accepts her loss with dignified grace and wishes them well. Adrien thanks Kagami for her friendship and understanding.

The next weekend, Marinette and Adrien post a photo of them eating ice cream at Andre’s, announcing their relationship officially.

Kagami is the first one to like it.

[miraculouscataclyyysm]

Seating plan au part 6

Short update this time also For some reason, this part contains a lot of Felix/Adrian angst...I don’t know why but its there so enjoy

Link to part 5

Once they finally get together Mari is at the Agreste mansion a lot more (not counting the time she’s there for her internship) and because of this she realises things with Adrian and Felix are a lot worse than she first thought , so she comes up with a plan, she’s secretly trying to get felix and Adrian to sort out there issues with each other without forcing them to do anything they don’t wanna do so if she’s watching a film with Felix and Adrian is in the other room practising the piano she’ll ask him to join or if she’s playing video games in felix room while felix is reading she’ll Adrian if he wants a game, basically mari thinks if she makes it so they hangout more without forcing, it happens naturally, they’ll start to tolerate each other more....unfortunately Marinette is unaware the “issue” is onesided (felix, felix is the one with the issue) so Adrian is just happy to spend time with Marinette when he’s not chat noir and that he finaly gets to spend time with felix that Dosnt involves loud sighs and harsh words, felix, on the other hand, is hating that Adrian is taking away his Mari time, one night when Mari has gone home felix snaps and says “why do you always have to have everything? You just take and take, everything has to go your way? You get everything you want, Do you want to take Marinette from me now too?” “What are you talking about Felix?” “It’s my birthday all over again, you never listen to me, you didn’t listen to me then and your not listening now, stop, just stop, you always bulldoze over everything Adrian, just leave me and Marinette alone” the next day Felix and Adrian seemed even further apart *cue concerned Mari*

During a game of hide and seak while on patrol (it was a particularly quiet night) ladybug teams up with Renard Arctique (Fox Felix) to trick chat who is currently the seeker, so Felix creates an allusion of ladybug running in the opposite direction and then they both climb onto the roof of the louvre and slip behind a pillar (this is definitely not realistic, what so ever, so just pretend it is) it takes chat a good 10 minutes to realise what happened....wich unfair, teaming up has to be cheating right? Once he finds them though he’s hit with a massive wave of jealousy...that’s his lady, his lady laughing with that sly fox, she seems so comfortable with him, there taking like she talks to him, so he runs up and tags RA a bit too hard...and sins lb and ra were sitting on the side of the louvre ra might have fallen off...lucky He's in costume and manages to land gracefully, lb gives chat and earful but chat claims it was “an accident my lady, I guess I just don’t know my own strength” Felix grones “or don’t know your own idiocy”

stormy weather 2 starts the same, (apart from none of the Alya and Nino stuff because Mari and Alya arnt friends here so be still tales the homework to Adrian himself) Chloe is typical Chloe, Mari is leaving school with Alix and Felix when she sees this, she still steps in and offers to help her study but Chloe continues being Chloe and drops the most ironic line to come out of her mouth “once a villain always a villain” Felix and Alix start laughing because how could they not and Felix says “do you actually believe that Queen Wasp” Alix-“or do you prefer anti-bug?” During all this Mari misses Aurora leaving, she’s later akumatised as stormy weather

Marinette almost being Akumatised because of a photo Alya accidentally posts on the lady blog, all thanks to Lila naturally, the night before Lila sees Marinette and Chat noir walking together and snaps a pic, the pic is dark and you can’t see Marinette's face, only the back of her head, she though it had just the right amount of mystery to cause some much needed mayhem among her classmates (it was getting a bit to chummy for her liking) as the co-runner of the lady blog she logs Into the account and drafts a post with the pic claiming to have seen chat noir and LB on a date with LB out of costume, the next day while Alya is posting she clicks the draft and posts it assuming it was something she forgot to Post, caouse ensues, the class is split arguing over the fact Alya posted the photo, claiming it was an invasion of privacy on LB and Chats behalf, and the other praising Alya for discovering the truth about there relationship, Alya insists she doesn’t have a clue where the pic came from BUT it’s still proof of LB and Chats relationship, Mari is literally boiling over in her seat and snaps “you call that proof? Firstly it’s a total creeper shot, you should be ashamed of yourself, I mean you really posted that while claiming to love ladybug and have a single shred of journalistic integrity, secondly you can’t see the girls face, all you can see is Chat talking to someone who happens to have similar hair to ladybug, it could be anyone! That could literally just be chat talking to a civilian while out on patrol” cue a smug lila “anyone like you Marinette? You do look awfully similar to the girl in the photo” *cue Marinette internally screaming* the class breaks out into more arguments over the identity of the girl, an akuma flys in threw the window, heading straight for Mari but felix (without seeing the akuma, he just has impeccable timing) squeezes her hand under the table and says “don’t let lie-la get under your skin, she’s not worth taking up so much space in your brilliant head” the akuma dose a complete u turn and goes for Alya, lady WIFI 2.0 happens and she’s after the truth behind the photo, akuma battle happens and after the fight Alya asks chat about the photo, he tells her that the photo is a massive invasion of privacy, he was having a private conversation with a very good friend of his, the person he trust almost as much as LB, Alya apologises for posing it, she deletes the photo and then puts out a statement with a message from lb and chat asking people to respect there privacy, there still real people and can talk to whoever they want with or without the mask

On a very rare occasion that felix Dosnt feel the urge to shake Adrian until he shuts up (or passes out...whatever happens first) they practice music together, when they were kids Emile had them both pick an instrument to play, Felix wanted to lern the piano but Adrian always got what he wanted so felix ended up learning the violin, he ended up loving the violin though and he always enjoyed goofing off with Adrian during practice and making up songs woth him, that’s always been one of Adrians favourite parts of music practice too, actually getting to have fun with felix, spending time woth him without feeling like felix is just waiting for a chance to leave, like he hates having to be in the same room as him, so when felix askes him if he wants to practice together he jumps at the chance

Link to part 7

Tags-

@spicybelladonna @akana-sama

[tom--22--felton]

Tom at Stockholm Comic Con, September 14-15, 2019

1) jxnnika - Not an ordinary Sunday when you get to meet Draco Malfoy himself🐍 Tom Felton - you’re awesome 

2) itsfanyyy - They say ”Wands at the ready” but I was NOT ready.

3) johannasvahnstrom - Met Tom Felton this Saturday! 

4) beanjamin.q - I don’t know how to describe this weekend, it was Amazing! Tom was sooo kind and humble and it was really fun listening to his Q&A @t22felton thanks for making my day and taking time for my question❤️

5) n.fawkes - Oh gosh what a weekend! If you have watched my Instagram stories, then you may have noticed that I was in comic Con that was held in Stockholm (Sweden)! It was so awesome and even that is the lame expression! Firstly It was my first comic com so it was all new to me. I met friends from internet, and it was really nice to meet you face to face 😊, and I even made some new friends! And guyyyysssss! I met THE Tom Felton 😱💚🐍 He was the first celebrity I have met like this and well it was just like everybody say it would be like, my mind stop working and I couldn't say at list of things I wanted to say to him I even practised my "speech" 🙈 I was shaking and probably look like a dork, but I'm sure he is use to it 😅 Tom himself was super sweet and kind and liked my bookmark where I got his autograph 😁 I almost started to cry after that becouse my feelings were so overflowing 🙈😭 I wanna see him again!!! Luckly me and @lady.of.light persuaded him to come on Finland someday~ Or at least he wrote to his pencil case "Finland" so he could look it forward. So yes, you can all thank us when he visit in here 🇫🇮😎 And @t22felton we are waiting you! Like we like to say "WTF= Welcome To Finland" 

6) maretttk - Met Tom Felton who played Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter and Julian in The Flash!😍

7) lady.of.light - #Photoop 2/2 of #StockholmComicCon: @t22felton 💚 GUYS I MET DRACO!! I still can't believe it, I just feel so blessed and happy about this experience 😭💚 The #WizardingWorld films and characters have always meant a great deal to me and being sorted into my #Hogwarts House has reinforced my sense of self so much over the years. So finally being able to actually meet one of the cast members (I've seen the twins and Evanna & Matthew tho) was honestly such a meaningful thing 💚💚 We went to buy our auto tickets first thing Sunday morning and thought we'd be getting them a bit later after our PO with him but he was just finishing his first auto session of the day and there was basically no line so we were directed straight there and had basically zero time to prepare ourselves for it but he was so nice and easy to talk to! I told him it was great to see him and that I came over from Finland to see him. He hasn't been here yet so I recommended coming during summer time as winters are sooo freaking cold. He even wrote down "Finland" after @n.fawkes mentioned our country too so maybe he'll actually come visit sometime 😱 After that we were shaking in shock and really emotional (as you probably saw in my story) and went straight into his PO line. Once it was our turn I think I kinda blacked out again, as usual, but as I was leaving he said "For Finland!" because he remembered our auto convo, which was so cool 💚 So yeah I'm very happy with the way #ComicConStockholm ended and with this pic and I wish I'll get another chance to see him in the future 💚

8)  sandra_gardelin

9) alvaeeeriksson - Okay so i couldn’t stop smiling for our pose but here it is🤷🏽‍♀️ Amazing meeting you @t22felton

10) sonitastic - Tom Felton ❤️ You can guess how exited the Harry Potter and The Flash fan in me was 😂

[dvp95]

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 10

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, deeper than anticipated but still not that deep y'all this is primarily silly, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 4,286 for this chapter (45,795 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"Daniel?"

Dan blinks. He blinks again, zoning back into the conversation he's supposed to be a part of.

"Er," he says, sheepish. "What was the question?"

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Daniel?" the woman asks - the interviewer asks, fuck, this is like the sixth time he's asked her to repeat herself. "I heard you were ill yesterday, weren't you?"

He wasn't. But that is what Jaime and Patrick had sworn up and down to anyone who asked, because they're good partners in crime like that. They look like they regret it now.

"Yeah, Daniel," Jaime says, stressing his name in a way that makes Dan think she's one more fuckup from smacking him in the back of the head. He'd probably deserve it, at this point. He can't remember being this scatterbrained in his whole life, and that's saying something. "You sure you're okay being out of bed?"

The word 'bed' gets stressed too, just a bit, and Dan feels a flush creeping up his neck.

It's honestly unreasonable how he can't seem to focus on the task at hand, which is answering softball questions about the show he's worked on for three years, because his mind keeps drifting back to Phil.

Phil, who he'd left in bed with Thor, all sleepy noises and grumpiness at Dan needing to leave. Phil, who has the day off and might still be mostly naked and lazy while he waits for Dan to come back. Phil, who he only has three days left with.

Three more days in London. Two sleeps. And Dan has shit to do every single goddamn day of it.

This is a work trip, technically. They've got a handful of interviews the next two days that couldn't be scheduled for their first London stretch, and then they're going to France. That's exciting, it is, a mark of success that Dan never expected for himself, but right now he's frustrated by anything that cuts into the time he could be using to kiss Phil.

Dan is so busy remembering how Phil's mouth had felt against his that he forgets to answer the question. He can practically feel his eyes glaze over.

"Daniel," Patrick says, audibly exasperated.

It takes a lot to get Patrick to that point, so Dan ducks his head and mumbles another apology.

"He's fine," Jaime tells the very nice and concerned interviewer whose name Dan has long forgotten. "He's just got a lot on his mind right now and he's really shit at multitasking."

"Hey," says Dan. It's a weak protest.

The interviewer is a tall woman with kind eyes that crinkle into laughter lines when she smiles at him. She's dressed casually, has a denim jacket with patches and pins all over it, and Dan feels his eyes linger at the rainbow on her pocket.

What is that like? To be so certain and so confident that you can wear it on your sleeve even in a professional environment? Dan doesn't know that he'll be able to get there.

He wants to compliment her on it. It's the same urge he had in the restaurant with Phil's family, vocalizing that he wishes he could wear more nail polish. The same swirling anxiety of being judged for it follows quickly, but this time it's amplified by the recording device in the interviewer's hand, the knowledge that anything he says right now will be analyzed to death later.

Dan wants to live authentically, and he wants to get to a place where he doesn't need to hide, but he's frustrated by the reality of how much progress that's going to take. It's not going to be easy, it already hasn't been, and it's never going to stop.

Even with making a name for himself and having an audience, Dan knows that coming out publicly still won't stop strangers from making assumptions about him or demanding an explanation for the women he's been seen with. He'll have to come out over and over and - it's scary. It's really scary.

The compliment catches in his throat. He can't say it to someone recording him, no matter how kind her eyes are. He hasn't even told his grandma yet.

"I like your jacket," he says instead. He feels like a coward for it.

"Thanks," the woman says brightly, looking down at herself and tapping one of her bigger patches. "Customized it myself, obviously. It's a wee bit more colourful than you like to be seen in, right?"

The casual chirping helps Dan relax, reminds him that this is a laid-back interview with easy questions. Nobody is shining a heat lamp on him and asking for an expose on how he spent part of last night inside of another man.

He grins and shrugs. "Yeah, alright, I wear a lot of black. Sue me. I can still think colours look nice on some people."

Great. Now he's thinking about Phil again.

"Like Jaime," Patrick offers, tugging at one of Jaime's bubblegum braids. Dan still can't tell if it's a wig or not, but she smacks Patrick's hand away like it's her own hair.

"That's true," says Dan. "Jaime wears as much black as I do, though, I dunno that she's the best example."

Patrick nods, solemn. "At least her hair is interesting."

"Oi, fuck you. Sorry," Dan adds sheepishly. Even though this is an online print interview, he still feels a little bit of shame whenever he slips up and curses during an interview.

The woman - Cara? Catherine? Camilla? Ca-something? - just laughs and waves his apology off.

With an ease that Dan can't help but notice isn't quite as practised as Phil's, the interviewer moves on to questions about their other cast members. While they don't have any trouble making fun of each other, it's even more fun to exaggerate stories of people who aren't here to defend themselves.

Dan tries so hard to participate. He does. He laughs in all the right places and gives Jaime grief for not remembering something right, because he's given this poor interviewer nothing of substance. The thing is that Jaime is better at telling stories and Patrick is so dry and stoic with interrupting jokes that Dan knows he isn't needed for this. He lets them bicker over a story detail that he's long forgotten and feels himself start to zone back out.

He listens to Patrick's slow timbre, Jaime's trill of a laugh, and lets his mind drift back to where it wants to be.

--

Even though it's tempting, Dan isn't stupid enough to text Phil in the middle of doing his fucking job. He has to resort to checking his phone between interviews and pictures, getting more and more pouty about the lack of response to the things he's sending throughout the morning. Phil must be having a lie-in, because it takes him a couple of hours to even see Dan's texts.

ugh i should have just stayed in bed

pls send thor pics

and you pics but like give me a heads up if your dick is out im at work

i dropped my coffee on jaimes lap fml shes gonna kill me

im just so distracted lmaooo

canft believe youre just asleep thats so rude

Oh nooooooo. I always cry over spilt coffee :( you want me to bring you one? I can come hang out for lunch!

The sweet text is accompanied by a photo of Thor asleep on the sofa, his little head pillowed on Phil's knee. Phil is wearing Dan's pyjama pants and - it's hard to tell for sure, with the way the photo is angled, but Dan thinks he's got the Friends shirt on. Frankly, that should be gross. Dan wore that shirt for way too long for it not to smell like, well, his sweat, and that is objectively not sexy.

Dan feels gooey warmth spread from his stomach outwards, anyway. Maybe it is gross, but it makes him happy to think about Phil's shirt smelling like him the way that his own Yeezy shirt still faintly smells like Phil. He covers his mouth with a hand so nobody milling around will see him grinning like an idiot.

thats ok, Dan texts back one-handed. yall look comfy you should stay. i'll b back for dinner and snuggles ok?

Ok! ^_^

God, but Dan wants to be there now. He wants to be the one cuddled up with his head in Phil's lap. He recognises that it's very stupid to be jealous of a dog, but he isn't going to let that stop him.

"Hey, Howell." Patrick's voice interrupts the daydream of slender fingers carding through Dan's hair.

Dan blinks. He blinks again, looks up.

"I didn't even see you sit down," Dan tells him, bemused. They're sharing a bench in the building's lobby, not wanting to go too far in case they need to go back upstairs for more photos during the short break in their day.

"Yeah, you're on another planet," says Patrick. Dan wishes he could argue that fact. "Things went well with your whole Love Actually emergency, then?"

The reference pulls Dan up short. He feels his brow furrow as he walks through the entire film in his head. "What are you talking about? None of this happened in Love Actually."

"It's British, isn't it," Patrick says nonsensically.

"I don't," Dan starts, but then he gives up. He and Patrick are close as coworkers - friends, even - but Dan never quite understands the links that Patrick's brain makes. "It went well. It went really well. I don't know if Jaime told you everything I texted her, but I like... fully ended up meeting the family."

Patrick's eyebrows raise slightly. That's quite a reaction, from him. "You met the parents? Bro. You just started dating."

They're not in an overly crowded area, but people keep waking by them on their way in or out of the building, so Dan is pleasantly surprised to discover that Patrick can play the pronoun game, too.

"Yeah," says Dan. He doesn't want to get into the mix-up right now. He's sure that Patrick will have another incomprehensible reference when he hears about it. "But it just feels... I dunno. Right? In a way other people haven't? Maybe that's obvious."

"It's not obvious," says Patrick. He's snapping a hair elastic around his wrist idly, the gesture something Dan had thought was an expression of annoyance or frustration when they first met. Dan knows now that it means Patrick is tired, that he wants to shove his hair off his shoulders and stop it from tickling his neck. They're only halfway through their day, though, still a couple of photoshoots to get through, so he can't put his hair up just yet.

Dan knows so much about these people. He's learned it all from such close proximity for the past three years, but he also genuinely likes spending time with them. He feels, suddenly, very guilty for wishing cancellation on this thing they've all worked so hard for.

"Sorry," Dan says.

"For what?"

He doesn't really know how to voice it. He shrugs. "For being a shit coworker right now."

Patrick gives him an indecipherable look and shakes his head. "Daniel," he says, "you're not being a shit coworker."

"I kind of am, though," says Dan. "Like I can't focus at all, I'm missing interviews, and I... I don't know how much I want to go back to Atlanta. Is that bad?"

"Why would that be bad?" Patrick hums. "This is your home."

Home isn't an easy concept for Dan to wrap his head around. He hadn't had a happy one for most of his life, hadn't been able to find somewhere that felt quite right ever since he escaped that. So it's a little disconcerting when Patrick's words settle into his chest and feel like indisputable truth.

"London is home," Dan echoes, wondering it it feels just as right coming out of his own mouth. It does. His head is spinning, a bit.

"Yeah," Patrick says, like it's that easy.

Dan gives himself a little shake back into the present. He smiles, wry. "Still, I probably shouldn't be crossing my fingers under tables for the producers to shut us down."

For a moment, Patrick looks confused. Dan is all ready to apologise again, shove those feelings down, but Patrick just says, "So negotiate your contract. You know that you aren't required by law to see the show through to the end, right? You can just not come back for season four, or only come back for a couple episodes instead of a full season."

They're sat in a fairly public area, with other people walking about, but Dan could hear a pin drop in the shattering silence that rings in his ears at Patrick's use of logic.

"I," says Dan, "did not think of that."

Patrick nods. "You kind of tunnel-vision sometimes, has anyone ever told you that?"

--

By the time Dan returns to Phil's building, he's talked himself into and back out of quitting his job a dozen times. It's a dumb decision, but not much dumber than simply waiting for someone else to make the decision for him.

He decides to call Amy when he's in France and talk the options through with her. She's already looking for potential gigs in the UK for him, so hopefully the conversation isn't going to come as much of a surprise to her. The last thing he needs is for his agent to get upset with him over making changes in his life.

Dan's head is buzzing with it, loud enough to give him a headache. He texts Phil that he's outside and waits to be let in. He gets an intrusive domestic fantasy of letting himself in with his own key, and reminds himself to rein in this U-Haul bullshit.

"Hey!" Phil beams as he opens the door and steps back for Dan to come in. Other people live on the other floors, but Phil still leans in for a long kiss the moment the door closes behind Dan.

It sends sparks up Dan's spine and quiets some of the unending noise in his head. He sighs, leans into the kiss, wraps his arms around Phil's waist to pull him even closer.

He's cognizant of where they are, though, so he pulls back to rest their foreheads together after a moment. "Hey yourself."

"Did you have a good day?" Phil asks, his tri-coloured eyes bright and unguarded.

"Yeah, but it's better now," says Dan. He's parroting what Phil said to him yesterday, and he can tell that Phil recognises it from the little smile on his face. "You look nice. You showered just for me?"

Phil laughs and tugs at Dan's wrist, pulling him down the stairs. They've got four left feet between them, honestly, so it's a miracle nobody takes a nosedive.

"Yeah," he says as they narrowly avoid any number of broken bones. He presses Dan against the wall next to his front door and grins at him. "But it was also for the judgey moms at the dog park. You look nicer, you didn't take the makeup off?"

To be honest, Dan had forgotten it was even on his face. He settles his hands on Phil's hips and smiles. "They made me look like the best version of me, why would I erase all their hard work?"

"Mm, you do look pretty," Phil says, and Dan is lucky to have his back against a wall. His knees might have actually buckled at the praise if he was unsupported.

"Pretty, huh?" Dan asks. He tries to keep his tone dry, like it's a big joke, but Phil's big eyes just see too much.

"Very pretty," says Phil. Dan doesn't know how to handle being complimented by Phil's deep, sincere voice, but he isn't given much of a chance to react before Phil is speaking again. "But I don't know that I'd call this the best version of you. You looked really nice when you came, y'know."

"Fuck, Phil," Dan laughs, a little breathless. "I was literally gone for ten hours."

"Ten hours too many," Phil grumbles.

Dan laughs again, but he has to admit that Phil has a point. The day had absolutely dragged on with the knowledge that his probably-boyfriend was waiting for him.

"You wanna go inside, then?" Dan suggests, running his thumbs just under the hem of Phil's clean shirt. "I'll do a lot of things, but this floor is cement, mate. I'm not blowing you out here."

The giggle that's surprised out of Phil makes Dan smile so wide it hurts his cheeks. He smacks the center of Dan's chest lightly and steps back to let them both into his flat. "I was thinking we could, like, order dinner first or whatever, but I'm not going to complain if you want to switch up the itinerary."

"The itinerary," Dan mocks, looking around for a ball of fluff running directly at them as he struggles with his shoes. "Uh, where's Thor?"

"Uh," says Phil. There's colour high in his cheeks that he tries to hide by flopping onto the sofa. The sweats he stole off of Dan don't really leave much to the imagination at all, not when he's sitting like that, and Dan almost loses his balance when he stands up straight. The pink doesn't leave Phil's face, but a knowing smirk joins it. "He's in the bathroom."

Dan's heart skips like an old CD player and he laughs to mask just how fond he is. "Uh huh, and here you are acting like you were really ordering food first."

"Well," Phil says, his smirk growing, "we could still order first, it'd be at least twenty."

"Sounds like a challenge," Dan hums, coming around the sofa to sit on the other end and lean forward, kissing the sliver of skin where Phil's shirt is riding up. "Why don't you do that, and I'll go get a bloody condom."

Phil blushes, proper blushes, and pulls a packet out of his pocket. "Ta-da," he jokes, weakly. "For my next trick -"

"If you say you're going to make your penis disappear," Dan says, flat, "then I'm walking out."

They just look at each other for a long moment, like a staring contest neither of them initiated, and then Phil snorts. That sets them both off and soon enough they're laughing, Dan's nose tucked against Phil's hipbone and Phil's hand over his mouth.

"I wasn't going to say that," Phil insists, still giggling. "I wasn't."

"Sure you weren't." Dan grins up at him and slides up his body, a little less graceful than he'd imagined it in his head. He presses their smiles together and licks into Phil's mouth. A little noise passes between them when Phil's hands find their way into Dan's hair, but Dan isn't sure which of them it comes from.

The giddy feeling of laughter doesn't leave Dan's chest. He lets it make a home there as he trails kisses all over Phil's long, pale neck. He doesn't need to guess when Phil likes something - he squirms and makes these little huffs of noises, grip on Dan's curls tightening just a bit before it loosens again. It feels impossibly powerful to learn how to take Phil apart like this, like they're teenagers snogging on the sofa in their first relationship.

It's strange that this does feel like a first relationship for Dan, in a lot of ways. He loved his first girlfriend and cared about other women he's dated, but it's not the same at all.

Finally, Dan is allowed to feel all the things he's supposed to have felt when he was younger. He's allowed to let budding affection and lust and friendship all wrap up in one person.

"So, the piercings," Dan murmurs, letting his hand slide up Phil's shirt to toy with one of them.

"What about them?" Phil asks. He already sounds impatient and needy, like he had last night, and the sound of it goes straight to Dan's dick.

Dan laughs and sits up, helping Phil get his shirt off over his head. "I mean, do they do things for you? Do they feel good when I touch them? How do you want me to touch them to make them feel good?"

"Do you always ask this many questions during sex?" Phil asks, dry.

There's no point in lying. "Yeah, I tend to babble." Dan gives him a winning smile and taps at Phil's hips, a silent request for him to lift up. Phil does happily, arching up for Dan and letting his stolen sweats get tugged off. "Guess you'll have to shut me up somehow."

Phil laughs, muffling the sound of it with his palm, and shakes his head. He looks so fucking gorgeous like this, giggly and naked and starting to get hard against his thigh. Dan has no idea how he got this lucky.

"That's such a terrible line," Phil informs him, grinning wide. He doesn't seem bothered by Dan being dressed when he isn't. He just settles back against the cushions and wiggles a bit, either trying to get comfortable or just teasing Dan. Either is possible at this point.

"It's not a line," Dan protests, shrugging his jacket off and settling back between Phil's legs. He presses his mouth to Phil's soft tummy and, unable to help himself, blows a raspberry.

Phil kicks out at him, instinctive, and his tongue is trapped between his teeth as he tries to hold back giggles.

"My nipples aren't sensitive," Phil tells him, voice wavering with some combination of amusement and arousal. He drops a hand to wrap around his own cock, thumbing at the metal on the tip of it. "This is. It, like, tugs. It's nice."

Biting back a groan at the sight, Dan digs around for the condom. He impatiently knocks Phil's hand out of the way to get him hard enough that he can roll it on. The piercing just above his balls settles nicely at the bottom of the latex, almost like it's holding it in place. Dan rolls it between his fingers, watches Phil's eyes flutter closed. "And this one?"

"Not as much. Still good, though." Phil's tongue darts out to lick his lips, and Dan grins at the unconscious reminder of what he's meant to be doing.

It's not the most comfortable for them to be laid out on the sofa like this, lanky as they are, but Dan isn't nineteen anymore. His knees do not hold up the way they used to. He wraps his hand around the base of Phil's cock and lets the tips of his fingers idly play with the metal bar as he finally gets his mouth on Phil.

Dan isn't used to the taste of latex accompanying a blowjob, but it isn't unpleasant. He gives Phil a couple of long licks and then sucks lightly at the head, not sure how much pressure Phil likes yet.

That's something he thinks he'd love to learn. He wants to know everything about Phil's body, wants to make him tremble with it.

Dan is extremely offended when he glances up and sees that Phil is tapping something on his phone, but the offense settles when Phil huffs a laugh and says, "Put in for takeaway. All yours, now."

The phone gets put down and Dan tongues at the bump of Phil's Prince Albert ring through the condom. That makes Phil's breath hitch, his hips jerk just a bit.

It's been years since Dan has had a cock in his mouth, but he likes to think it's like riding a bike. He takes Phil deep, hollows out his cheeks, repeats any motion that makes Phil let out soft groans. He forgot how much he likes this, fuck.

Much like everything else, it's somehow impossibly better with Phil.

Phil keeps a hand in Dan's hair and braces the other on the back of the sofa, breathing hard, and Dan doesn't want to close his eyes and miss a fucking moment of this.

"Fuck," Phil breathes, and Dan responds with an answering moan around his dick. "Yeah, alright, that's - fuck, Dan, you feel so good, look so pretty like that."

The praise still makes Dan shudder. He sucks Phil harder, feeling the weight of Phil's cock on his tongue as he speeds up his movements.

Dan remembers blowjobs to be pretty fast. He also never gave one to a man older than twenty, though, and his jaw starts to ache once he realises that Phil isn't going to be pushed over the edge as quickly as he's used to.

He pulls off to give his jaw a break, stroking Phil and pressing his open mouth along the side of him.

"You think I feel nice?" Dan laughs, pleased by the way the gust of air makes Phil's cock twitch. "Fucking, forgot how good this feels."

"Yeah?" Phil prompts, his voice deep and breathy and so, so nice to listen to. No wonder he's so successful on the radio. "You like sucking cock?"

Dan shivers. "Yeah," he says. He's unashamed, because he feels safe here with Phil. He can admit to liking a cock in his mouth, a hand in his hair, being called pretty. "Yours specifically, though."

Phil laughs. "That's good. I like specifically your cock, too." He looks over at his kitchen for a moment and raises his eyebrows. "I'll get dressed and answer the door when the pizza gets here if you can make me come in the next five minutes."

Well. Never let it be said that Dan Howell backs down from a challenge.

[katecarteir]

L.A Devotee | Chapter 3

Richie looked Eddie’s outfit up and down, and wrinkled up his nose. “Do you own anything that didn’t come from Aeropostale in 2009?” 

Eddie gave him a equally disgusted look in return. “Not really.” 

[or: child actor Richie Tozier was raised in The Industry, he knows how to play the game. He knows exactly how to keep his head down, and make his way through the famous life without attracting any extra drama. Until his management branch takes an up incoming band under their wing, and enlist Richie to publicly date the lead singer, and that all falls to shit.]

Richie was woken up by a heavy weight bouncing onto the bed beside him. He yelped, gripping angrily at the edge of his mattress as he nearly tumbled off while Audra continuing bouncing on her knees.

“RICHIE! GET UP! RICHARD!” Audra shook Richie’s shoulder until he groaned angrily and swatted at his best friend.

He hunched his shoulders up towards his ears and glowered at her. “You better not be waking me up because of that fuking recording studio shit.It’s not until 11, and I have an alarm set! Let me live!”

Audra yanked the blanket away from Richie’s body and tossed towards the bottom of Richie’s bed. “It’s not about that, but I do think you should take it a little bit more seriously. Nobody’s going to believe it, if you don’t start acting like it’s real.”

Richie rolled his eyes. It had been nearly four weeks since his management had demanded that he parade around with some pretty little songbird on his arm as though they were madly in love, and Richie could admit that he hadn’t seen much of the guy at all. After the awkwardness at the bar between them, he’d been giving Eddie a wide berth. There had been a few arranged meetings- enough that Eddie’s face showed up in tabloids and people Googled who Eddie was. His band’s YouTube channel and SoundCloud had skyrocketed in the last couple weeks, and the management felt now would be a good time to start dropping their singles. Richie was, of course, was expected to be present at the final recording today, if only to be spotted going in and out of the building with Eddie. He was still looking for a way to get out of actually having to sit through the recording process, simply because he’d gone this far without hearing Eddie Kaspbrak sing and he’d like to keep that trend up as long as possible.

Audra hit him with a pillow, and he tossed his hand out to whack at her shoulder. “Richard.” She said, an absolute overjoyed smile covering her face. She held her phone out-stretch towards him, wiggling it in his face. “They nominated you for an Oscar!”

Richie felt as though he went through twenty emotions all at once and didn’t seem to express any of them. He blinked once, and rolled to sit up in his bed. “Guess I’ll take a shower since I’m up anyway.”

He watched how Audra’s face fell and instantly felt bad. He supposed that he should have tried a little harder to act enthusiastic- or tried at all, really- but with the amount of things he was going to have to pretend to feel today, this just wasn’t something he could bring up the strength to do. “Look, I’ll send out a Tweet about being thankful later, I promise. It’s not like I’m going to win it.”

Audra made a wounded noise sound as Richie stood and moved past her towards the bathroom. “That’s so negative! You can’t go into this with such bullshit opinions of yourself! You’re a good actor, Richie!”

Richie rolled his eyes, and yanked his boxers down. He reached into the shower, and pulled the water on. Holding his hand under the stream to feel it warm up to his preferred temperature, he looked back over to Audra. “Okay, first of all- we both know this isn’t about having talent.” Richie continued to rush through as Audra opened her mouth to speak. “And also? That movie was absolute shit. If I had been up for like… Rage… then maybe I could see it. But Secret Window? Ohhh dude kills his wife, big fucking plot twist. We know that if it had been anything less than written and directed by Bill Denbrough that it would have been some trash ass straight-to-Netflix shit.”

“That doesn’t mean your performance was bad.” Audra challenged, but Richie could tell the words were weak. Richie had barely even bothered to memorize the lines for the movie, convinced that it was going to flop whether he worked for it or not. He’d only agreed to do it as a favour to Bill, who had given him so many good roles that he figured it wouldn’t hurt to do a bad one. He remembered being shocked how breaking the film had been and was now even a little bit insulted that it was the role he was being nodded over.

“I haven’t been up for an award since my Teen Choice days.” Richie chuckled. “Most people don’t jump straight from the surfboard to the golden statue. No matter how many years have passed in between.” Audra was still glaring at him and Richie sighed. “Are you done lecturing me? I’m getting in the shower.”

“I am absolutely not done!” Audra said firmly, grabbing the ends of her nightshirt and heaving it over her head. Richie rolled his eyes, stepping under the water and feeling Audra slide in behind him. They settled under the spray and Audra placed her hands on her hips, glaring up at him. ”You’re not giving yourself enough credit, Rich. As usual. You were good in the movie, you played crazy really well! I think it’s one of your best roles, personally. You deserved to be nominated. Take it for the compliment that it is.”

Richie huffed out a breath, pouring some of Audra’s pomegranate shampoo into his hands and reaching to rub it into her hair.  “But I don’t take it as compliment. This is just something that is going to make my life more complicated. An excuse to push me into doing more bullshit publicity- and I have enough of that going on.”

Audra raised one eyebrow at him, likely trying to look intimidating but falling flat with the her hair piled up top of her head in a white foam. Richie tried not to laugh. “Not everything is a big scheme with ulterior motives. You’re paranoid as fuck.”

Richie pushed his thumbs against Audra’s chin and encouraged her to tilt her head under the spray. “I don’t know how you aren’t more paranoid, honestly. You really just take things at face value.”

“Not everything,” Audra said, rubbing the soap into Richie’s face a little more aggressively than he felt was necessary. “But sometimes I think it’s okay to believe that something is just a nice thing. No strings attached.”

“There’s always strings.”

Richie waltzed into the recording room, trying to ignore Beverly’s other excited chattering in his ear. Like Audra, she seemed to believe that this nomination was a good thing. What wanted nothing more than to never hear the word “Oscar” again- all apologies to people with the name. He had already resigned himself to having a long couple of weeks, but he was already close to snapping when he noticed Kay perking up at the sight of him.

“Richie! Congratulation-” She hadn’t even finished getting the words out before Richie was waving her off impatiently and dropped himself into one of free cars in the room. He pulled his phone out, but simply scrolled mindlessly through his own photo gallery because the last thing he wanted to do was look anywhere near his social media.

“He’s in little bitch mode,” Beverly said, coming into the room and immediately going to fuss over Ben’s hair. “Just let him stew in it. Auds probably woke him up and you know how he gets when he doesn’t get at least ten hours.”

Richie held his middle finger high above his head and clenched his jaw as he heard the laughter bounce through the small room.

“What are we congratulating Richie for?” Eddie’s voice came then, and Richie couldn’t help glancing up at him. He was wearing a pair of seemingly fitted beige khakis and an actual pink polo shirt, complete with a collar and everything. He looked the perfect boyfriend to some Disney Channel Mary Sue, and it made the back of Richie’s neck burn. “Did he finally find a thrift store that accepts thousand dollars bills?”

God, he barely knew him and yet Eddie Kaspbrak could get under his skin like nobody ever had before. It seemed that he knew just the exact right words to make Richie bristle, and his soul was trained for the exact right moment to toss them out.

“He was nominated for his first Oscar,” Beverly answered, even just sounding like she was rolling her eyes. “And he seems to think that it’s the end of the world.”

“His first?” Eddie’s face seemed confused as he turned to look over at Richie. Richie held his gaze, daring Eddie to piss him off. Eddie just hummed, and turned back to fiddling with his headphones. “I’d have thought you already had at least one.”

Richie narrowed his eyes, brain still trying to decide if that was an insult or not when Stan stormed into the room. “I’m not doing this fucking song. I’m not.”

“Stan you wrote the song, babe.” Ben said softly, Beverly still nit-picking at individual strands of Ben’s hair as though he was going to be on camera at all outside of potential pap pics.

Stan glared at his boyfriend, but the look he cast in Eddie’s direction immediately after was much colder. “I wrote it three years ago, and I didn’t even want to record it for the album. It doesn’t match our sound.”

“It’s a good song, Stanley.” Eddie said sharply, sounding more irritated than Richie had ever heard him before. “It’s strong lyrically, and we’re all well practised in it. And it’ll be a good hook to get people to start listening to us seriously.”

“I don’t want to hook people in by releasing a song that doesn’t sound like any of the rest of the album, Eddie.” Stan’s voice was cold. “Unless, of course, you want to change that, too. We’ve made so many compromises this far, why not?”

Eddie’s shoulders went stiff, his eyes shutted shut and his jaw clenched. Richie marvelled that Eddie Kaspbrak was actually kind of hot when he was pissed off. “The record needs the finished product by midnight, Stanley. We’ve put this off long enough- we’re doing the song.”

Stan looked for a moment like he might keep arguing, but Ben came over and guided him into their booth. They, along with Mike, started mingling around inside with their instruments and Eddie stared blankly at them for a long moment before sighing and moving inside to join his bandmates. Richier couldn’t help staring after Eddie’s departure. Once he was sure that Eddie and his friends had been behind the soundproof area, he turned to Kay and shook his head. “You’re blowing a lot of money on this band. They aren’t going to make it.”

“You haven’t even heard on them yet.” Kay said simply, leaning over the music techs and pointing at certain keys on the board.

“I don’t need to hear them,” Richie said with a shrug. “They could be the most talented band since Queen, and they still aren’t going to make it if they can’t find a way to get along.” Kay pursed her lips and he watched as Beverly turned away nervously. He knew he was right, and he didn’t need an verbally confirmation. He’d told them as much when they’d talked in the bars all those weeks ago- if they conflict this early on, they were doomed to fall apart. It certainly seemed that the drift between Stanley and Eddie had only grown larger since then. Whether Stan was still mad about this little stunt, or if Eddie had done something else since then, Richie wasn’t sure. But he knew it wouldn’t spell anything good for them, if they didn’t work it out soon.

Kay gave Richie a quick signal to shut up, and pressed down on the SPEAK button. “Okay, guys. We’ve burned a lot of time, so we’re going to get right into it. On your four count.”

The other three men all pushed their instruments into place, as Eddie wrapped his hands around the hanging mic and leaned towards it. Some music that might have passed for punk, but definitely leaned more towards pop, came from them as Eddie took a deep breath.

“Used to keep it cool, used to be a fool, all about the bounce in my step… Watch it on the news, whatcha gonna do, I could hit refresh and forget...”

Richie tried not to look impressed, staring stubbornly at his phone. Eddie definitely had the voice for this, and he’d been right about the song being good lyrically. He remembered that when Kay first mentioned them, she’d called them an alternative band… and this was no alternative song. It would do well in the Top 40s- which was no doubt their management’s intention, and what was making Stanley so distressed. It was a sell out, for sure, but if they stuck with it then nobody except them would ever know. That was the way to do it, but it seemed that Eddie’s bandmates might put up a fight about it.

Richie let himself look at Eddie, seeming so Ken-Barbie like in his preppy clothes. It certainly didn’t fit the sound they wanted to sell, and barely fit that in which it seemed like were going to sell. Eddie looked like some Jesse McCartney, 2009 Justin Bieber ass mother fucker. He couldn’t believe Beverly had let it fly for this long.

“Watch me stand in the line, you’re only serving lies, you’ve got something to hide…”

As they wrapped, and the band came fumbling out of the soundbooth, Richie mimicked gagging loudly as Eddie exited. Eddie looked wounded for a moment, before seeming to realize it was Richie mocking him, and quickly flipped his fake boyfriend off. Richie chuckled and pushed to his feet. He patted Stan between the shoulder and nodded at him. “It is a good song, man. Take it as a compliment that they chose it, even if it’s not the one you wanted.”

He was hyper aware of Beverly muttering something about him being a fucking hypocrite, and smirked as he turned to face Eddie. He looked the boy up and down, and wrinkled up his face.”Do you own anything that didn’t come from Aeropostale in 2009?”

Eddie gave him an equally disgusted look in return. “Not really.”

“We’ll have to change that.” It had been a general “we”. It had been such an general we. The most general of we’s. We as in Eddie and somebody who was not Richie. Then Beverly took it upon herself to walk up to them, and placed a hand on each of their shoulders.

“I’ve been thinking the same thing! Eddie really needs a new look!” Beverly cheered, looking overly smug. “It’s so nice of you to offer to take him, Rich!”

“What?” Richie gasped as Eddie’s mouth dropped open in matching shock. “No, I- I didn’t- I-” But Beverly was already winking at him and walking back to talk to Kay. No doubt to tell her all about how Richie was going to be taking Eddie out to buy new clothes, leaving Richie with no choice but to actually do so. Eddie clearly couldn’t be trusted to purchase his own clothes- hence what he was wearing now- but Richie genuinely hadn’t been expecting to be thrust into that terrible responsibility.

Eddie, to his own credit, looked rather horrified. “You want him to pick out clothes for me? Him? Look at him!” Eddie gestured towards Richie’s outfit, was which- admittedly- rather wild today. He’d paired the skinniest jeans he could find in his closet- a bright, hot pink- with a green shirt covered in cactus’. If you looked closely enough to it, you could see the words don’t be a prick written all over it. “Dude looks like a kiwi!”

Richie huffed. “Look, man. I’m not thrilled about it, either. The less time I have to spent with you the better.”

“I’m a fucking delight, I’ll have you know!” Eddie snapped, Richie watching how his jaw clenched and his eyes flashed. Richie tilted his head to the side, smiling slightly. Eddie’s cheeks began to flush and Richie’s soft smile turned into a wolfish grin.

“Let’s just go, yeah?” Richie said, trying to keep his tone light and friendly. This would be unbearable if Eddie spent the entire time in a funk. “Everybody likes shopping, and you have an endless supply of company money to do it with.”

Eddie was still eyeing him warily. “Promise I’m not going to end up dressing like you?”

“Sweetie. Nobody dresses like me.”

xx

Richie took hold of Eddie’s hand as soon as they stepped into the open parking lot. He felt the way the other boy stiffened, and squeezed as he feared Eddie would pull away. “We have to look like we’re dating,” Richie whispered to him, leaning close enough that their bodies rested together. “There’s going to be a hundred fucking teen bops here, your single drops tonight, and I was just nominated for an award. Eyes are going to be on us.”

“Maybe we’ve picked the wrong day to do this,” Eddie said lightly as he and Richie began walking into the fluorescent light mall.

Richie laughed, small and seemingly genuine. “Kid. From here on out, there’s never going to be a good day to do things. Didn’t you get the you’re-gonna-be-famous crash course? You’re never going to be doing anything again without eyes on you.”

Eddie was quiet for such a long time that Richie eventually had to turn and look at him. Eddie’s hand felt so small in his own, and when he looked at Eddie- he looked small, too. Young. Richie knew they were the same age, give or take a few months, but he supposed that Eddie hadn’t had to grow up the way Richie had. There was still lingering youth in him, confusion about the world he was entering. Richie needed to remind himself that maybe Eddie Kaspbrak was a person under all that attitude.

“Hey, listen.” Richie said, swinging his and Eddie’s joined hands to-and-fro. “It comes with the job. Today is going to be your first day when you absolutely don’t need to worry about money, like at all. I remember the first time I was handed a credit card and let loose in a mall. It was a religious experience.”

Eddie looked Richie up and down, and Richie fully expected another comment about Richie’s choice in clothes but Eddie just frowned. “And you were what? Ten? Even younger?” Richie gave a non-committed hum. He’d been seven when his mother had handed him his first credit card with his own name on it. “I feel bad for you. You have all this stuff, but you’ve never really been allowed to live.”

“I can do whatever I want,” Richie said, wondering if he was convincing Eddie or himself. “I just get in trouble when I do something wrong.”

“I’d wanted to be an actor, when I was little.” Eddie said. “I begged my dad to let me go to auditions, and he told me if I really wanted to be famous- I could wait until I was an adult. He said if you wanted to put your kids into show business, you might as well skip the show business part and stick them right in rehab.”

Richie pursed his lips, wondering how much about his life Eddie actually knew. Somethings could easily be found online, but those facts were never quite right. Even if they came from direct sources. “Your dad sounds like a smart guy. How’d he let you get into a situation like this?”

“He died when I was eleven. Cancer.” Eddie said it so nonchalantly, and Richie felt he might have given himself whiplash turning to look at him. “It was just me and Ma after that, and she wouldn’t hear anything about being famous. Wanted me to stay in Maine, working at some pharmacy downtown, until I died. Made me want it more.”

“So, you’re becoming famous out of spite.” Richie said lightly, always one to dodge any emotional conversation that he could. “I can dig that.”

“I’m trying to become famous because it’s what I’ve always wanted.” Eddie pointed out, clearly trying to control the annoyance on his face. He was already smart enough to know that pictures of them seemingly having a fight shouldn’t be circling so quickly into their relationship. “My Ma was just a big push factor.”

Richie nodded, and then pressed a kiss to the top of Eddie’s head for good measure. Eddie’s eyes went a little wide, but he seemed to manage his shock well otherwise. “We’re going to start here,” Richie said, gesturing towards the Turtle Shack.

Eddie eyed it a little apprehensively. “Do you show there?”

Richie actually laughed, gesturing his free hand towards the store full of blues, blacks and grays.  “Does it look like I’d buy anything from there? No, Eddie. If you’re going to be the frontman of some emo alternative band, you can’t walk around looking like Chad Michael Murray.”

“Who?” Eddie asked, frowning. Richie just rolled his eyes, and tugged Eddie into the store. He didn’t have the time or patience to deal with how it seemed that Eddie Kaspbrak had been raised under a big rock in Maine. Were there mountains in Maine? If so, Eddie was probably raised in one. With wolves. Wolves that wore cardigans.

Richie grabbed several shirts and hoodies off the racks and tossed them at Eddie, hardly giving them a full glance. He was firm believer, right now, that anything was an improvement. Eddie didn’t seem convinced, judging by the way he was turning up his nose at them. “Why am I doing this? I don’t get why I have to change my clothes. It feels like lying.”

“Oh, what?” Richie laughed, brushing his hand along his jawline. “Now you’re worried about lying? Try the clothes on, Edward. I was told to take you shopping, and we’re getting you clothes. I don’t care if you ever wear them after this. But you will.”

Eddie scowled, then seemed to remember himself. He came forward and kissed Richie’s cheek quickly, smiling shyly up at him. Batting his eyelashes, and even seeming to blush somehow. “Thanks, baby.”

Richie watched Eddie duck into the change room, shaking his head and knowing his expression was perfectly awestruck. Eddie could have done well, if he’d stuck with his first dream of going into acting. Richie fiddled around with the long racks of pants, fitted and ripped, picking out six or seven. He knocked on the door. “I’ve got pants for you.”

“You’re trying to get me out of my pants, too?” Eddie called over to him through the door. He opened it, already wearing one of the dark Tees. It was a Nirvana shirt, that Richie was sure that he had a matching hiding somewhere in the back of his closet. Taking his shirt off, and placing another on, had left Eddie’s hair flopping out of it’s usually primly styles swoop. He could see the natural curls that Eddie’s hair held, and it was a little endearing.

“Your hair looks good like that.” Richie said, dropping the pants into Eddies hands. Eddie raised his eyebrows and frowned. “Women love the messy look. You could do for that sort of extra boost in popularity.”

“I don’t really care what women find attractive.” Eddie said, smirking. He was joking, probably, but Richie wasn’t in the mood to let Eddie make dumb mistakes right now.

“You should care.”Richie said seriously. “Whether you want to admit it or not, women are going to support your career. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay- they’ll love that, too- but most straight women are still going to want to imagine they could date you.”

Eddie lowered the clothes and suddenly seemed exhausted. “Richie, is anything even real? Everything I’ve done since signing our label has been changing myself, changing my stuff, and pissing off my friends. What’s the point?”

Richie pushed at Eddie’s shoulders and guided them into the dressing room together, knowing that was going make fun headlines. “Kid,” he said seriously, putting the clothes and hanging them up. “You’re too new at this to be so cynical about it. If you’re already not enjoying it, drop out now before it’s too late. But can I give you some advice and you promise not to let it make you think we’re friends?”

“We’ll never be friends,” Eddie answered immediately, but with none that Kaspbrak sass that Richie had already come to recognize. He just sounded tired.

Richie gave him a small smile. “There’s nothing wrong here.  You’ve maybe had a bit of a rough beginning, but once your stuff starts circulating and you smooth things over with Stanley, it’s going to be worth it. Just push through.”

Eddie gave him a long, unreadable look then sighed. “Do I still have to get the clothes?”

“Yes.” Richie said with a firm nod. “You need them.”

[yuzusorbet]

My Sendai Holiday (April 2018) - Part 3: Weekend Sendai

Part 1 was about Yuzuru’s Olympic Victory Parade and Part 2 was about Ice Rink Sendai (links are at the end of this post).  This part is about the rest of my trip. 

--------------

I flew into Sendai by ANA;  the cute plane below was my connecting flight from Tokyo Haneda to Sendai.   

Entering the airport, I saw a poster of our dear 若様 (’waka-sama’ = young master).  What a beautiful start to my holiday. :)  

Sendai Airport is small and beautiful.  The roof is like the waves of the sea.   And it’s very convenient too.   A linkway connects it to the train station just across the road.  (Pic below taken from linkway.)

After a short train ride, I reached Sendai Station, the main station of the city.   This is also the shinkansen (bullet train) stop.   I love Sendai Station.  It’s so pedestrian-friendly due to a huge walkway that sprawls over the roads and traffic outside, connecting the station to the malls and buildings around it.  

Inside, there are many shops and eateries.  Pic below: shops selling ‘zunda mochi’ and ‘hagi no tsuki’.  (further down this post, you will see more zunda mochi.) (hagi no tsuki is a snack that Yuzu loves.)

In the station, there is an awesome tourist information centre.   Young master Yuzu is there saying “Welcome to Sendai”..... and sometimes there are samurais there as well!  When I took this photo, instead of saying “cheese”, these guys said “zunda mochi!!!”  XD

The tourist centre was giving out beautiful leaflets with suggestions on places that fans can visit, like Goshikinuma Pond, Ice Rink Sendai, Nanakita Park and Yuzu’s monument at International Centre Station.  The words on the right-hand leaflet say “Sendai City supports Hanyu Yuzuru-senshu”.

The centre also had big stacks of ‘Weekend Sendai’!  (the travel magazine with Yuzu;  it’s free)  I already have a copy at home but I took one for a friend. 

Yuzu is eating zunda mochi in the photo above.  It’s a Sendai specialty, mochi covered with mashed edamame, and it’s sweet like a dessert.  I love it!

“Itadakimasu.” (See the white mochi under the mashed edamame?)

The photo below is the take-away cup;  the mochi inside is smaller but it tastes just as good.  Ate it a few times during my holiday, and also tried zunda shake and zunda pudding.  They were all nice, but I like zunda mochi the most.  

Next to Sendai Station, on the 4th floor of Parco shopping mall, Yuzu’s signed skate boots were on display.  He donated them for an auction in March this year to raise funds for Tohoku earthquake recovery (3.11).  The successful bidder was Japanese fashion house, Samantha Thavasa Japan Limited, and the final amount was 8.5 million yen (about US$76,000).  According to Oricon news, the money was from the staff of the company inside and outside Japan who donated their money to support this good cause.  [thanks to fan Shuko for the info] [pic below from Yahoo Japan] 

After the auction, the company decided to bring the boots to different parts of Japan to be on display and they were in Sendai during this period.   Here are the boots that raised 8 million yen: (8,501,000 to be exact)      

Near the boots display area, Yuzu’s parade T-shirts were on sale.  I had already bought mine online and they were delivered to the Sendai hotel that I was staying in.  

My first dinner in Sendai.... gyu-tan of course!  Grilled beef tongue is a Sendai specialty and oh so delicious!   Had it at a restaurant in the station.

The gyutan in the middle is the usual one flavoured with salt, the gyutan on the right is flavoured with miso.  The white thing on the left is another Sendai food, sasa-kamaboko which is grilled fish cake (kamaboko) in the shape of a bamboo leaf (sasa), believed to be inspired by the design in the family crest of the Date clan who ruled Sendai Domain in the Edo period.  It can be eaten on its own as a snack.  The rice was also very special; it had some barley mixed into it, giving it a different texture and fragrance.  Everything was very, very oishiiiiiii~~~~~ 

I ate this with my friend Ella who was in Tokyo just the weekend before to watch ‘Continues with Wings’, so you can imagine what our chat was about.  The last time we saw each other was one year ago.  So much Yuzuru to talk about. :D

The next day was the first day of sale of parade wristbands.  There were several sale locations and I went to one near my hotel.  On the way there, I saw some Yuzu-banners.  This one below says: 

“Hanyu Yuzuru senshu, thank you for touching and inspiring us. PyeongChang Olympic Gold Medal, 2 consecutive victories, you are the pride of Sendai, Miyagi and Tohoku.”  

This banner below is about Yuzuru’s photo exhibition coming to Sendai at the end of June.

And this is the line I saw when I reached the sale location at 7.45am, not too bad!  The start of the line is on the left where people are sitting on the ground, near the closed shutters of the department store.  Sale would start at 10am.  

The wristbands were sold in sets of 2 at 1000yen per set.  Only 10,000 sets were made (compared to 80,000 tees).  So these early birds like myself just wanted to be sure of getting them. :D  My friend Ella was at another sale location and she said the line was snaking up and down stairs and around the building!  xD

While standing there in line, I ate my breakfast and also shared my food with the woman in front of me and the man behind me.  They were both of middle-age and were local people living in Sendai, and since we were waiting together for more than 2 hours, I chatted with them to pass the time (and to practise my Japanese, haha).  Some things struck me from the chat that morning.

I was telling them a bit about myself, that I have been a Yuzu-fan since 2014 Sochi Olympics, and I naturally asked them, so when did you become fans?  They didn’t reply..... I was a bit surprised as I waited for their answer.  They were both thinking very hard, with a slight puzzled look on their faces, like they were trying to recall.....  And then I realised, they live here in his hometown!  Which means they would have seen him in the local Sendai news since he was very young and they have been watching him grow as a skater and they have been naturally supporting him since who-knows-when!  There is no clear-cut point like us who happened to see his performance one day and got zapped.  With that sudden realisation, I quickly said, oh you live here, so you have known him from way back!  They both nodded and looked pleased that I understood.  I guess no one has ever asked them that question before!  The man added that when Junior Nationals were held in Sendai in 2007, he went to watch and he was so impressed by Yuzu’s performance.  (Yuzu was only 12 then;  his SP was ‘Sing, Sing, Sing’ and FP was ‘Firebird’.  I translated about this competition from his biography; will include the link at the end.)  I told them I was so envious that they live here and have known him for such a long time!  You lucky Sendai people!!!  

Besides asking that stupid question, I also made some stupid assumptions.  I told them, I plan to go to Nanakita Park to sit on ‘Yuzu’s bench’ and then go to Ice Rink Sendai to skate and then have dinner at the gyu-tan restaurant with his signature.... you two must have been to these places, right?  They both smiled and said no.  (What????)  The look on their faces seemed to say they never thought of doing that and there was no such need.  But they were very impressed that I knew these places.  The man took out his phone to try to help me with directions.  He wanted to make sure I knew the right route to take. Really nice people. :)  

At 9.30am, staff of the store came to set up the area and we got really excited! Soon we would have Yuzu-bands on our wrists!  The Sendai lady asked, how many sets of wristbands are you buying?  I said two of course!  But the man said ONE.  (What???)  I assumed everyone would get 2 sets each (maximum).  Especially after lining up for so long and it’s in limited stock.  I said, ONLY ONE? REALLY?  He said, yes I just need one set because there are 2 bands, one for me and one for my wife, just nice.  Oh......... somehow I was touched by that.  Their support for Yuzu is so sweet and simple.  They don’t need to go to his home rink nor all the places that he has been to, but they will line up for a few hours to buy just one set of his parade wrist bands..... These Sendai fans touched my heart..... :’)  

Since he was only buying one set, I asked if he could buy one more set for me.  I wanted to send them to overseas fan-friends who couldn’t come to Sendai and he was very happy to help. :))  

Besides wristbands, there were also parade tees on sale (only S size left). Some reporters came to interview the people waiting.  The line had grown really, really long by now, looped to and fro a few times, but still very neat and orderly.   

At 10am, sales started and the staff was so efficient.  Very soon, I got my wristbands!   Plus an extra set from the really nice Sendai man!  I was so lucky to be standing in front of him!   And much thanks to him and the lovely lady for a good chat!  

I took the above photo after I bought my bands.  There was a staff holding a big sign with the words “end of line”, so it was clear to all where to join in if they wanted wristbands.  He also held a tally counter to count the number of people in the line.  As it approached the number of bands that was available in that store, he would tell people who came to join the queue that they might not get the bands but they could try if they didn’t mind waiting in line.  I love Japan, these things are always so well-organised!  

After this, I met up with Ella and we went to Sunao Noto-san’s photo exhibition which was held nearby.  (Admission was free.)  It was a very small exhibition but the outside already took my breath away.  

Pic above: the Japanese words over “Stay Gold” say “Congrats and thank you”.   (We could take photos of the outside but photography is not allowed inside.) In the small room, there were some beautiful photos of Yuzu from PyeongChang Olympics.  There was also one photo that I had not seen before and it brought a lump to my throat..... Yuzu was standing with crutches and looking at his own photo exhibition.  It was the exhibition held in Sendai from November 3 to 21 last year.  On Nov 9, he injured his ankle and withdrew from NHK Trophy the next day.  Then it was reported that he went back to Sendai and visited this exhibition after it was closed for the day.  He also wrote a message thanking fans for their support, dated 12 Nov 2017, and it was displayed at the exhibition.  (I posted about this last year; will include link at the end.)  This photo must have been taken that evening, just 3 days after the injury.  Looking at him in crutches at that November exhibition, the emotions of those few months rushed back into me.  How high was the wall that he surmounted.... I felt so keenly the heartache..... and also deep, deep admiration and respect.  Tears started prickling my eyes.  Oh Yuzu.... you made me cry again!  Later, Ella said to me, Sunao Noto-san’s photos always tell a story. Indeed. 

That was my first Yuzuru Hanyu photo exhibition.  Thank you very much, Noto-san.  

When we left, a girl approached us and gave us this beautiful newspaper:

She is a Waseda University student and was carrying a backpack full of her school newspaper to give away to Yuzu-fans!   She said she gave us the paper because I was wearing a CiONTU tee!  Much thanks to dear Ella who gave me the tee last night and I wore it as soon as I could. xD   And thank you, dear Waseda schoolmate of Yuzu!   You made many Yuzu-fans very, very happy!

So much emotions.... and it was not even 12 noon yet! xD

From this lovely shopping area near Sendai Station, we went for a walk.  Along the way, we saw the most beautiful 7-11 store.

Many shops had signs like that, saying ‘Hanyu Yuzuru senshu, congrats!!’

勾当台公園 Kotodai-koen (park) was beautiful.  There was a farmers’ market, cherry blossoms were still in bloom, and someone was playing the guitar and singing!

More photos I took along our walk, from the park to the next subway station.

(Above: another “Omedetou!! Hanyu Yuzuru senshu”)

Then we took the subway to 泉中央 Izumi-chuo Station (N01).  From there, it’s a 20-minute walk to Ice Rink Sendai or you can wait for the bus.   For people who like to look at maps, 2 photos here:   (We were at Kita-Yobancho station, N07.) (The main Sendai Station is N10.)

I wrote about Ice Rink Sendai in an earlier post (link included at the end).  After our visit, the queue for the bus was very long (all Yuzu-fans, haha), so we made the 20-minute walk back to Izumi-Chuo Station and took the subway one stop down to 八乙女 Yaotome.  A short walk from the station was 利久 Rikyu (Izumi main branch), a restaurant with Yuzu’s signature. 

Grilled liver (square plate) and gyu-tan (round plates).  The meal was soooooo delicious, especially the liver.  I told myself that I must eat here one more time before I leave Sendai.   Yuzu, thank you for your recommendation! :)

When we were leaving the restaurant, there were some people coming in and I suddenly realised one of them was another good fan-friend K-chan!  She saw me at the same time and we screamed (or maybe only I screamed, haha) and we hugged each other!  It was so good to see her again!   And I wonder if the restaurant was just filled with Yuzu-fans that day. :D

On the subway back to Sendai Station, we saw Vegatta-kun.  (If you have not seen the video of Vegatta and 15 year-old Yuzu, please search for it. xD)

Coming out of the subway exit at Sendai Station, we saw handsome Sendai travel ambassador Hanyu-kun. :)

End of a marvellous day.  The highlight had yet to come!  Next day = Sunday 22nd April = Yuzu’s parade day!!  (link at the bottom of this post)  

A bit more on food: at the end of parade day, I met up with K-chan and, thanks to her suggestion, we had the softest, puffiest pancakes I’ve ever tasted.... they were light and puffy like clouds!  The fruity topping was sold out, so we had the plain version.  Very yummy!   

.... in this cute little bakery-cafe near Sendai Station. 

I will end this post with Sendai Station at night plus the walkway that crosses roads and connects it to the surrounding buildings:

Will do a Part 4 because it’s too long to put it all here. :D   Last part: 2 places with Yuzu’s signature (restaurant and sports shop), a shrine that he has visited before, his monument at International Centre Station, a historic pond and a castle hill..... coming next. :)  

(Please do not use or re-post my stuff without permission.) (Photos are taken by me.) 

Some links mentioned: Part 1: Yuzu’s parade day  Part 2: Ice Rink Sendai 2007 Junior Nationals and 12 year-old Yuzu Nov 2017 photo exhibition: news pix and fan account 

Update: Part 4 is now done.

[ohoshi]

i watched the dont lie svt mafia game (the first two links u sent) and it was so fun!!! i love how you dont know who the mafia is until the end so it’s like youre playing along too :) also seungkwan was so smart!!! gradually building everyones trust and gathering allies around him!! i was so sad when he was killed off tho, he literally was abt to catch the mafia 😭 and hoshi REVEALING HIMSELF AS THE MAFIA was the funniest thing ever but also really smart like he turned everyone against mingyu (who honestly i thought was the mafia too), and in the last round hoshi was just openly like “who should we kill today” IM DEAD 😂 also can i just say that jeonghan looked so GOOD in that game...he’s such a sexy mafia 😏 i cant wait to watch their second dont lie mafia game!

u already know for 127 jaehyun was my first bias and now mark is my ult <3 and for dreamies if u dont count mark (since i knew him from 127 first so kinda unfair) i think jaemin was prob also my first and current bias?? he was my first bias and i just never stopped 😂 for wayv i think my bias is yangyang hehe :) im trying to think abt what similarities in my biases are - it might just be the smiley happy funny ones with the best laughs as we talked about before (this is weird but i think when i first meet someone i notice their laugh?? like i love ppl who have laughs that you can tell are just truly from their heart if that makes sense) i might also have a slight bias for rap lines but i think that is not as concrete as the smiley/funny thing!

omg thats so cool that you know so many languages!! youre so cool hehe :) i always have so much respect for ppl who learned languages (idk i dont count me knowing canto as learning a language bc i kinda passively learned it thanks to my parents hahaha) i took french and spanish for a bit in school but i didnt continue and have thus forgotten most of it D: (which i kinda regret, i want to try learning french again someday) also i totally get that about chinese and japanese being intimidating...ive always thought it'd be so cool to learn another asian language (and one that is more widely used than canto) but they are quite hard, esp for chinese/japanese where the writing system is a lot harder to learn!! i learned korean hangul so i can sound out words veryyyy slowly but i dont know what they mean 99% of the time 😂 i havent seriously applied myself to actively learning a third language but i've always wanted to! i can understand basic korean phrases tho since i watch so much korean content ahahaha

hmm as for weird phobias, i really hate cockroaches?? or bugs in general...and i also hate when circles are bunched together rly closely lol (i think it’s called tryptophobia but i wouldnt recommend googling that cuz it grosses me out so much omg 😰😰)

ok now to close this out on a happier note lol i THINK i can name all the svt members now??? like with maybe 85% accuracy 😂 and i think my first biases are joshua, jeonghan, & kinda dino and vernon :)) but i feel myself slowly falling for all of them i love how chaotic they are and ive laughed so much watching their videos already 😊😊

AAAH i'm so glad you loved it 🥺 ikr it was so good??? i especially loved the part when hoshi just blamed mingyu!!!!! and manipulated everyone into thinking that he was one of the mafia!!! what a smart move but also fun? hoshi the god of variety shows!! tbh i kinda knew minghao was the mafia since the beginning... he was just too quiet... i mean he is a quiet person yk but he was more suspicious than usual 👀 and i guess bc in the beginning they gave us the preview of their reactions and he laughed and knowing he's a scorpio i only assumed... so i didn't 100% buy hoshi's lie bc i was still sure that hao was one of the mafia 🤷🏻‍♀️ still tho it was legendary!!!! but i guess mingyu played it stupid and he was sus to begin with so 🤷🏻‍♀️ yeah.... YOU CAN SAY THAT JEONGHAN LOOKS GOOD BC damn right he does 😍 he is a beautiful man what can i say 🤷🏻‍♀️ he is also very confident in himself (the other day i watched one gose ep from 2019 it's called debate night i think and basically they're having a debate about the stupidest, most pointless things in the world (like is it better to live AS a pigeon or live WITH a pigeon for a year, or is it better to have 3 eyes or 3 arms 😅) and jeonghan always had a counter argument, ALWAYS, but he would say it so confidently looking handsome as hell he could make me believe that grass was blue..) btw gose always has dumb content like this but still i think it's the best idol content out there only bc svt are crazy funny and chaotic and those 13 boys share a total of 2 braincells shared by wonwoo and jun each; like there is one ep i think it's called the8 and the 12 shadows ans basically they all move in a row and all 12 of them have to repeat what the first member is doing, it might sound smart when i explain it but if you'd watch it you'd see that it's so dumb and pointless but it's funny and 1hour long and carats watch it bc 🤷🏻‍♀️ anyways what i'm trying to do is show you what you're getting yourself into😌

ohhhh i think jaehyun, mark, nana and yangyang all have beautiful smiles and they’re all very smiley and bright people 🥺 so that's definitely the one thing your biases have in common 🥺 that's so cute 🥺 oh you think you're attracted more to the rap line? 🤔 all of your nct biases are indeed rappers (jaehyun is a i can do it all i'm 97 line he is excluded) so maybe??? but yeah you biasing bright idols is 🥺 adorable!!!

ahh thank you 🥺 i try!! yeah most people forget languages if they don't use them regularly </3 kinda scared i'll forget french bc i never use it nowadays, i used to know a woman who only spoke french and i would have to translate to her what my family tells her and vice versa, it was a great french exercise 💪 but i don't see her anymore so </3 the fact that you speak canto and chinese(mandarin i guess?) intimidates you really adds fuel to the fire<3 it's great that you know how to read hangul!!! me too!! you'll get better at reading with practise! but compared to chinese characters i don't think it's that hard, i mean, how do chinese people even memorize all the characters?? or WORSE how do foreigners memorize them??! writing in chinese must be so hard do you have to pay attention to all the tiny lines?? that's a lot of work 😨 i am terrified 😨 do you also know basic japanese phrases from anime?? bc personally i do but i know a lot more korean than japanese i mean thank god, i'm learning korean religiously tho 😂 still tho can't watch idol content without titles</3 (except with chinese wayv members who struggle OMG MAYBE I LOVE CHINA LINE BC THEY MAKE KOREAN A BIT EASIER? anyways i completely relate to them bc korean grammar is so hard, so strange and so different from grammar i'm used to in 'western' languages)

cockroaches? 😨 i too hate insects of every kind<3 so i understand <3 oh i know about tryptophobia(?)!!! one of my friends is scared of the same thing too, have to admit it does look disgusting 😬 i'm also afraid of heights and water!!! (but like the sea and the ocean sjsgsjaha i can't swim!! and i never want to!!!) 😨😅

AHHHH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU 🤧 what a bias combo thooooo 👀 jeonghan? i approve! he is so fun!!! so beautiful!! sexc 👀 jeonghan is so interesting i love him and also joshua is so pretty too?? i mean obvs they're both visuals sjgssj but it's different with shua bc i can look at him all day it's soooo calming to just look at him?? ahh angelic! it's kinda interesting to me bc you bias jeonghan and joshua and jihan (their ship name) is kind of a big deal™ did you know that????? i assume it was unintetional and you had no idea about it jsgsja i also approve of vernon and dino as well but i mean i would approve of anyone and everyone at this point 🤷🏻‍♀️ have you seen pics of jeonghan with long hair??? i feel lowkey bad for saying this but he is so beautiful i deadass thought he was a woman 😧

[arrowsshootyouforwards]

ColdAtom Secret Santa 2017: The Charade

In Secret Santa this year I was writing for @craptaincold

I went with a Fake Relationship story for you, hope you enjoy it :) (Story under the cut)

@coldatomsecretsanta

If Leonard Snart could pinpoint the moment in his life where he tipped the scales enough to get himself sent to hell, it would have been about 6 months, 1 week and 4 days ago. He’d been mid shoot on his new movie. His agent and the agent of his co-star had called them both to a meeting. In the movie Len played a widowed man. His wealthy wife had died leaving him with their daughter Eliza. His character is from an entirely different world than his wife but as she stated in her will she wanted their daughter brought up around the world she had known. He hires a nanny, a male nanny, who he falls in love with.

He and his co-star were unsure why they had been called into a meeting but they both turned up. It was at the meeting Leonard knew he was going to hell. They wanted the pair to date. Well, at least to pretend.

“Think of the fans, they’re already what’s the term… ‘Shipping’ the two of you. They’re even creating art.” He held up his iPad to show a rather graphic sketch of the two of them.

Both Leonard and Ray looked uncomfortable. Ray’s agent stepped in. “Ray you both need to think about the possibilities here, think of the parts this could get you in the future. You’re still unknown in this world.” Ray really didn’t like where this was going. Their fans knew that both he and Leonard were gay. It’s what was keeping the media from being too interested in the film already. There was nothing ‘exciting’ about two gay actors playing gay roles apparently. But if their fans started posting about their ‘dreams coming true’ then the media would be interested. Ray remained quiet. He had a lot less to lose than Leonard. Leonard was up for a big role after this movie and the director was homophobic. It sounded like he was looking for any reason to drop Leonard from the project.

“Look, we’re not saying that you should just start fucking, no, just be seen together and let things ‘progress’,” Leonard looked about to kill his agent. “Look, why don’t you both think about it, discuss it and meet again next week?” Neither Len or Ray could reply before the man was on the phone and excusing himself, taking his things with him. Ray’s agent shot them both an apologetic look.

“Just think about it. It isn’t an unlikely story, two stars, grow close during a role, start going out. And it couldn’t hurt your careers. Either of them.” Ray’s agent packed his things and left the pair of them. Leonard regarded his co-star beside him. It wasn’t entirely unbelievable that they could go out. They were good at their jobs and had good chemistry on screen.

Ray was deep in thought in the next seat. Leonard had always been one of his favourite actors before he had the courage to try it himself. And he would be lying if he said he wasn’t attracted to the other. He knew the main complication in Leonard’s mind. His future. Both of their futures for that matter. Neither wanted to speak first so Leonard took the hit. “We should discuss this,” he said startling Ray.

Ray nodded, “I agree,” he said though he didn’t move.

“Let’s go somewhere more private, my place, tonight? I’m meeting my sister downtown in half an hour. Seven good?”

“Seven’s fine.” Ray agreed as they began preparing to leave. Leonard text Ray his address and left to meet his sister.

Ray couldn’t think straight, so he did what he always did in that situation and headed home then to a gym with a pool. He stared longingly at the boxing ring through the windows but his contract in the film said he couldn’t get mark up through sport. So swimming it was. He swam lengths until the lifeguards told him he had to get out so they could do kids swimming lessons. He went back to his apartment to eat and called his friend to see if she wanted to hang out.

“Hey Anna, did you wanna get lunch? My treat? Great see you there,” he hung up and drove to a small Italian place in the city. Anna arrived shortly after he did, she lived further out than he did. They sat in a more secluded corner of the restaurant so he could talk to her. “So, our agents want us to date, or to at least make it look like we are, to promote the film and I don’t know, it seems wrong.” He told her.

“Ray lots of actors have pretended to date to promote their movies. It’s sometimes part of the job,” Anna told him. “40% of actor-actress relationships end with a carefully planned break-up. What does Leonard think?”

“We didn’t really have much chance to talk about it, he left to meet his sister.”

“Well think about it like this, both of you are out as gay, neither of you is seeing anyone, you don’t have any kids, so no one can get hurt. Plus, it might help you. The only think that might throw you is your active life on social media. You’d need to plan his introduction into that carefully. You can’t just suddenly have pics with a guy saying, ‘love of my life’ or something like that.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the voice of reason in this friendship?” He smirked.

“Ray you know I love you and I think it would be good for you to date someone. Even if it’ not real, for him anyway.” Anna knew he had somewhat of a thing for Leonard and had teased him relentlessly for it when they had been cast together. “Ray just think about it OK?”

“I will. We’re meeting tonight to discuss things,” he told her. “You really think we should do it?”

“It couldn’t hurt,” she smiled reassuringly.

 Ray arrived at Leonard’s house just after 7 and rang the doorbell. “Hey, come on in,” Leonard said, “we have a lot to talk about.” This was different to the Leonard he had been seeing on set. He was more intense, though Ray put that down to nerves. Leonard showed him to the kitchen where he pulled two beers out of the refrigerator. Sliding one over to Ray he twisted the top off of his own. Ray had been over a few times to run lines in pre-production. Len took a long pull from his drink. “It’s not uncommon,” he paused, “for actors to start going out during a movie. However, those are straight actors and they’re dating their female co-stars. We’re gay and there will be a lot of hate coming at us. Especially you, I know the projects you have lined up. You know how some people get when Disney hires a gay actor. It’s not ideal. But I think we can make this work. What are your thoughts?” Leonard looked at Ray for the first time since he arrived.

“I agree that it’s not the least likely outcome of the two of us working together. I spoke with a friend earlier, a trusted friend,” he added, “and she thinks we should go for it. But she did mention my social media presence. We’d have to think carefully about that. You can’t just show up on there. When we were running lines over the summer I Instagramed pics of me outside, arriving and leaving etc. So people know I’ve been here and it’s a good start. Next, our fans. We have two different fanbases and as much as our agents want us to believe the crossover is ‘huge’ it’s not how he described it. The crossover that is there, however, is very… Interested in us… Joining forces, I think is the best way to put it.”

“I won’t say I haven’t looked into it,” Leonard told him. “And I agree with you about the social media aspect. We’d have to keep an eye on their reactions to that. We should start sooner rather than later. As for public interaction, have you given that much thought?”

“A little” he lied, Ray’d thought about it more than he cared to admit even to himself.

“We should start with small things, casual touches, sitting close together, hand holding and I guess at some point, kissing. We’re good actors, but even pros need practise. So, I think we should meet up a few nights and get used to touching one another. Just so we look comfortable together.” Ray remained silent. A man he had crushed on for years was proposing they meet up to practise touching and kissing each other. He nodded, not trusting his voice. They hadn’t gotten to filming those scene in the movie yet, so he had yet to actually touch or kiss Leonard too much.

Ray and Leonard spent the next two hours working out the kinks in their story, putting their plan into action soon. They started with the social media aspect. Ray took a picture of them running lines and posted it on Instagram with the caption ‘rehearsing something a little more intimate.’ The picture had Leonard with his arm around Ray on the couch, holding a script and winking at the camera. It was mainly to test the waters with the fans and the reaction was almost instant and they monitored it while they ran lines followed by half an hour of leaning against each other, and light touching.

Having the weekend off the pair kept in touch on Sunday discussing the fan’s reactions to their post. They also called their agents, letting them know they would go along with it, on their own terms. Not their agents’.

Come Monday, they were back shooting their movie and they were getting close to the time when their characters would fall in love. Those scenes began on Friday. They decided not to tell anyone else that their relationship wouldn’t be real. The fewer people who knew, the better.

Wednesday evening, they were at Ray’s apartment running lines for Friday with the little girl playing Penny who played Eliza saying her lines over the phone from her dad’s. After her dad made her hang up to get ready for bed the two men discussed the reaction from their social media. Ray had started to include Leonard in more of his posts and it was working a treat at getting their fans excited. They decided to dip their toes in a little deeper and posted a picture of Ray in Leonard’s arms preparing to watch a move together, chuckling at the various reactions as the movie played.

Leonard was amazed at how comfortable he felt having Ray in such constant proximity for long periods of time. Normally it took him longer to become comfortable about co-starts he would eventually be intimate with, even on screen. So much so, he didn’t even flinch when Ray threaded the fingers of their hands together. Merely an hour later, Leonard, feeling brave, took Ray’s phone from the side table. “I have an idea that may speed up our timeline slightly. If you’re up for it.”

“What do I need to do?”

“Just tell me your phone passcode and pretend to be asleep.” Ray did as he was told and Leonard snapped a selfie for Instagram. ‘Someone fell asleep with his phone unlocked’ he typed and added snoozing emojis.

“You’re awful,” Ray chuckled as it was posted to his feed and the comments began pouring in.

“I know, but they love it.”

“You could’ve used a filter, that lighting is terrible,” Ray joked as he sat up and stretched.  The movie was long forgotten as they watched the comments and reactions from fans.

Leonard checked his own phone, “it’s getting late, I should go home.”

“Right, um, see you in the morning.” Ray saw him out and watched him to his car.

 The next morning, he arrived on set to find Leonard waiting with two coffees from CC Jitters. Ray raised an eyebrow and snapped a photo for the fans. ‘Thank you for the coffee. FYI: This is how you use a filter ;p’ he typed and then tagged Leonard. Ray wasn’t in many scenes that day though the director did speak to him about the upcoming scenes the next day. The scenes were he and Leonard would share their first kiss.

“Look, Mr. Palmer,” the director, Harry Wells, began, “I’ve seen the little thing the pair of you have on social media, via my daughter. Just understand that when I shoot the first kiss tomorrow, it better be a first kiss. Catch my drift? No rehearsing. I’ve already spoken to Mr Snart.” Ray nodded, he’d almost forgot Harry’s rules about working on this film. He’d kept Leonard and Ray away from each other until their characters had met. Fortunately, they had yet to kiss in their evenings, though he had been sorely tempted to on several occasions. Leonard must have remembered as he always seemed to stop things before they got too much.

“I understand Mr Wells. And I guarantee, we haven’t yet kissed.”

“Good, keep it that way until tomorrow.” Ray nodded.

 “I was thinking,” Leonard said after filming, “that maybe we should hang out in public this weekend, be seen by others.”

“Sounds good, we could do lunch, or dinner or go for a run or something.”

“Lunch and a run sound good. Maybe not in that order but sounds like a plan. We shouldn’t hang tonight though, not sure I could control myself,” he said, his eyes darting to the side. Ray followed his gaze to see fans getting closer.

“A run then lunch, great idea. Good call about tonight,” he took Leonard’s hand and squeezed it before letting it go again, one of the fans let out a giggle and another a triumphant noise as his phone camera snapped a picture of them holding hands. “See you tomorrow?”

“Until then,” Leonard brought Ray’s hand to his lips and they went their separate ways, texting as soon as they were alone.

‘Good call with those fans. Hand kiss, nice touch,’ Ray text him once he was home.

‘What can I say, I’m a good actor.’ Leonard replied and set his phone on the counter in his kitchen and sighed. He was exhausted. Not that his scenes required much effort today but he was emotionally drained. It took a lot for him to work with Ray Palmer and not lose face. How could it not? Ray was exceptionally attractive and exactly his type. More so now they had been spending so much time together and learning more about each other. He’d had no idea how to handle their agents suggesting they fake date because he was unsure he’d be able to keep it pretend when in his head he wanted to real thing.

To top it all off tomorrow they had to kiss, on set, for the first time and on camera. Wells had told him they only had one shot to make it work. He wanted the first kiss and he would get it whether Leonard or Ray liked it or not. Leonard had been pushing his restraint as it was. But he never thought Ray would like him back. Tomorrow would be the true test. He didn’t have much time to think about it as his sister turned up with her daughter Sofia for a visit.

 The next day Leonard arrived on set where Ray immediately found him. Ray snapped a selfie for Instagram captioned ‘big day’ with lip emojis. “Tease,” Leonard accused, wishing he could just kiss Ray there and then, but he caught sight of Harry and thought better of it.

“They love it, hair and make-up need you soon by the way.”

“Heading there now,” Leonard replied putting his hands up in surrender.

 “I haven’t felt this way in a long time, I’m afraid I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” Leonard said as the pair moved closer. “I just feel lost, I’ve lost so much, my life hasn’t made sense in a long time. And yet when you’re around everything just seems so clear. The expectations of this life say I should ask you to leave, I should walk away.”

“Then why don’t you?” Ray asked softly, his hands resting on Leonards biceps.

“Because to hell with expectations,” Leonard pressed his lips forward against Ray’s. Their eyes slid shut as Ray relaxed into the kiss, allowing Leonard to deepen it.

 “And cut!” Harry yelled from beside the camera, “gentlemen, excellent job. Gentlemen!” He called and Leonard and Ray separated, “good take, get out of my sight, see you both Monday. Ray went over to Anna, his guest onset, who had his phone. “How’d it look?”

“Good and the fans over there saw everything.”

“Perfect.” He said as Leonard joined them.

“We should talk tonight, my place, I’ll cook.” He said and left. Anna shot Ray a look.

“He’ll cook, sounds serious,” she teased.

“What, no, he’s just being nice. He is nice.”

“Mmhmm.”

 Ray arrived at Leonard’s house that night, aware that he was being followed. When Leonard opened the door, Ray kissed his cheek and hurried them inside. “Sorry, I was followed, I think some fans are reaching the level of crossing the line.”

“Don’t worry about it, I won’t complain.”

“So what did you want to talk about?” Ray asked setting a bottle of wine on the counter.

“I think the time has come for us to practice more intimate activities. Kissing and such, for the reveal, you know, so we look comfortable.”

“Right, that, uh, good call. So, Anna said the fans that were watching were going crazy after we left.”

“And that was a scripted kiss for the movie. Wonder how they’ll take to us kissing when it’s not for the movie.”

“Guess we’ll find out, smile,” Ray turned and took a selfie of Len stirring dinner.

“What’re you gonna caption it?”

“#BestCastMateEver” he smirked.

“They’ll love that,” Leonard rolled his eyes.

“I know,” Ray raised his eyebrows and Leonard had to look away. His restraint was being tested again. He finished cooking and they poured some wine. The food was good, Ray had heard rumours that Leonard could cook and damn straight he could.

After dinner, they put on a movie and sat a little too close to be considered platonic on the couch. It was Ray who made the first move, using the wine he’d brought for courage he turned to face Leonard and pressed their lips together. Leonard relaxed against his lips, gently returning the kiss.

“I’ve been thinking,” Ray began a while later, “what’s our timeline, like when are we putting ‘us’” he said using air quotes, “out there?” Leonard considered. It wasn’t something that had come up, though he was surprised he missed it.

“Well I guess there’s no time like the present, you got your phone?”

“Always,” Ray grinned already switching to the front camera. Leonard kissed his cheek and Ray snapped the picture, sending it caption-less to his Instagram.

 Over the next couple of weeks, whenever they weren’t filming Leonard and Ray spent time together in public, convincing the world that they were dating. Leonard’s agent, Eobard, was loving it. Ray’s agent Nate, however, was more cautious. He continued to remind Ray to think about his future and how he didn’t really trust Eobard. He wasn’t even sure why Leonard was working with him considering the continually stereotyped roles he’d played over the last few years.

Ray and Leonard had everything in their ‘relationship’ worked out and so were not overly worried. They would spend time together, had been on dates to places and even had nicknames for each other. Ray called Leonard Len and Leonard insisted on calling him Raymond, no matter how much he protested.

After the movie came the promotional tour, full of meet and greets and talk shows where every host wanted to know how they had gotten together. This came with the territory of the pair of them sharing hotel rooms. And more closely, sharing a bed. They had decided from the beginning that they could be adults about sharing a bed. Though it was not without unfamiliar territory. Numerous occasions they had woken up spooning. Sometimes whoever woke first, which both of them were guilty of, would lay there, enjoying the moment. According to their fans they had been together for almost 4 months at this point.

 About a week towards the end of the tour they were in Hartford, Connecticut, when the panels they were attending were cancelled due to heavy snow. They were in Hartford for 4 days, with all of their events cancelled. Harry left his cast to their own devices, still salty that they could not have a panel. Leonard and Ray spent the first day looking around the city and meeting their fans with Penny and her dad.

Overnight the snow fell heavier, most of the things they had been planning to do were closed due to the snow. They spent the morning at the hotel. Ray worked off some steam swimming while Leonard read in their room. Ray returned to their room, his hair still damp from the shower he took at the pool. Leonard didn’t look up from his page as he wordlessly waved to Ray.

Ray had become to suspect that Leonard, much like himself, felt more for his castmate than friendship and fake romance. He was just waiting for the time to ask him and now seemed as good a time as ever. “I was wondering, if we could maybe talk?” He asked, catching Leonard’s attention. Leonard finished his paragraph and marked his page.

“Sure, what’s up?” He asked setting his book aside.

“I was just wondering, that maybe, um, I mean- Sorry, I was wondering that, um, before all this, before our agents even suggested the idea to us, I just, I was really into you- I mean not in a weird way, but, attracted, I guess would be the best way to describe it, I mean… I’m messing this up, aren’t I? OK, I guess what I’m saying is that before we started to fake date, I would have thought about asking you out, for real and I just wondered if maybe you ever felt the same way about me?” Ray stopped talking, amazed he’d managed to express himself somewhat coherently.

Leonard sat in silence for a short while, processing what Ray had said. “Honestly? I won’t say the thought never crossed my mind. I mean look at you, you’re amazing, as an actor and a person. I won’t say I never thought about asking you out. It’s just everything in my career is complicated. My next movie is hanging by a thread right now because of us pretending to date. But if I’m keeping being honest, I’d rather be happy and date you for real than do that movie. Which I guess is my terrible way of asking you if you wanna have a date, for real.”

“Wait, seriously? I mean you’re into me-” In the time it had taken Ray to finish his sentence, Leonard had crossed the lounge area of their room to kiss him harder than they had kissed at any point in their relationship so far. Ray responded to the kiss, pulling Leonard beside him on the couch, deepening their kiss. Leonard nipped at his lip as they pulled apart.

“I am very, into you Raymond,” Leonard whispered. “And I’d like to be more,” he murmured and Ray’s breath hitched as he cottoned onto Leonard’s meaning as he felt a hand trail up his thigh. “How about you?”

“Oh God yes,” Ray mumbled pulling Leonard back to his lips. His hands pushed under Leonard’s shirt, desperate to feel more of him. They shed their shirts and Leonard pulled Ray by the hand over to their bed and kissed him once more, allowing his hands to roam over the other’s body. Ray placed his hands on the small of Leonard’s back, his hands roamed lower, over Leonard’s ass, squeezing and pulling him closer. Leonard smiled into the kiss. Leonard backed Ray until he hit the bed, Ray wrapped his arms around Leonard and pulled him down onto the bed. Ray could feel Leonard’s hard length inside his jeans, fighting to be free against his own hard on. Leonard rolled his hips into Ray’s, both of them moaning at the friction created. “Leonard,” Ray breathed as his partner kissed his neck and lower. “Can- Are we-”

Leonard paused, “if you want to.”

“I so want to,” Ray replied. They stood and shed the remainder of their clothes, Leonard checked the door was locked and Ray dug around in his bag for the lube and condoms he had stashed there, mainly for show in case someone came snooping but it never hurt to be prepared. Leonard accepted the items when Ray handed them over and encouraged Ray to lay on his front.

Leonard crawled over the bed behind Ray, nudging his legs apart as he warmed the lube between his fingers. Tentatively he pressed a finger inside of Ray, who swore under his breath and moaned. When Leonard began feeling Ray push back against his finger he added a second and then a third until he felt Ray was ready. Ignoring his pleas for more. Leonard pulled his fingers out of Ray and rolled a condom over his hard cock, spreading lube over it he nudged Ray. Telling him to get into a more comfortable position.

Ray rolled onto his back and spread his legs apart. Leonard took Ray’s cock in his hand and stroked it as he lined himself up with Ray’s entrance. Pressing forward he entered Ray, both men moaning in unison. For Ray, it had been a while since he had had another man inside him but damn did it feel good. Good however was putting it lightly to say how Leonard felt in that moment. Ray pulled Leonard down to his lips as his partner stroked his cock in time with his thrusts which became short and fast. Not wanting to push Ray too far he had yet to fully enter the other man. Ray, sensing he was missing out somehow began meeting Leonard’s thrusts in an attempt to take him deeper. Leonard pulled most of the way out of Ray and slowly sank back in, deeper than he previously had. The deeper he went the more Ray moaned beneath him. His thrusts, combined with his hand on Ray’s cock was becoming too much. Ray moaned as he came over Leonard’s hand and his own stomach. Pulling Leonard down to kiss him he rolled his hips, encouraging his partner to finish. Leonard’s thrusts became quicker and shallower, hips stuttering to a stop as he came into the condom.

He slipped out of Ray, disposed of the condom and kissed the other man, running his fingers through his sweat-damp hair. Ray lay there catching his breath. He kissed Leonard back, smiling into their kisses.

Ray and Leonard lay together for a while, got up, showered and prepared to take a nap before Ray asked: “So do we count us ‘getting together’ as now, or when we started the whole charade?”

“Well, answer me this, was it ever really a charade?”

“I guess not,” Ray smiled, “for me at least.”

“Me either,” Leonard assured him, curling behind his boyfriend. Boyfriend, it felt good to think that. “You should rest.” He said.

“So long as you’re here when I wake up.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Leonard whispered as Ray drifted off in his arms.

[wakemany]

Hi Welcome

Tina Small is christian . Roberta Pedon is Irish

September 15, 2015

Uncategorized

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H I    SToRM FRoNT– ERS    –   Edited   Letter   i   Sent   to   Don   blacK  —–— To  Don  BlacK  :      I   did   snail   mail   in  past .  TLH   Syracuse , Rev  RaY   Indiana ,   RNPA   LocK port  ,    said    m Y    “  Litter    With    paper ” plan   has   merit  .

silence .  No  more  chat rooms  , Yahoo  clubs . SF  is  the  only  outlet . Not   Reddit .

silence . Edgar  Steele , innocent  NSM   leader  in  prison . The  day  may  come  When  even  you  Will   be  silenced .

my  plan – small   groups ,  paper   is   hard   to   stop . Do “ exploits ”,  “ instruct   many ”,  truth  –  lives  on !

not  gonna  stop   gov’t  agenda  immigration . Fact . next  best  alternative  ?

Women  are  suffering . Ask  Shoshana  Roberts . What  else  is  Working ?                                     TonY

Read  more  if  you  Want …… start  of  my  plan

I  saw  an  angry  White  girl  with  her  arms  extended  and  walking  away  and  turning  around  at  times  and  telling  him  off  and  a  black  dude  following  . A  pastor  once  told  me  repeat =  abuse !

I  saw  this  several  times , but  another   White  lady  told  me  – “ trying  to  ignore  that  person , but  they  just  follow  and  talk ”.

I  saw  a  friendly  black  turning  around  to  see  if  a  White  girl  was  still  there .  sneaky  slowly  trying . What  to  do ?       Page 1 oF  14

Try  TEACHING  STRATEGY… Racism  is  socially  learned – babies  Know  nothing . Ask – is  it  learned ?  Then  it  should  Work !

What  a  time  consuming  pain !  Joining  KKK  ain’t  working , right ?  Your  current  “ Wake  up ? ”  strategy  is – nonsense . pointless .

but – education  won’t  stop  the  bleeding . No – but  it  Will  slow  it  down .

1. organize , 2. Wear gloves  to  hide  fingerprints  ,  3. litter  cars  (  Windshields ,  homes ,  streets  )   With  paper + dvd’s ( old  movies )… simple …. If  you  are  Fed  up

A  new  advertising  strategy . Perhaps  you “ racists ” will   Light  the  Way  to  advertise  secretly . Pioneers  in “ exploits ” = sneaky  stuff ?  INSTRUCT  MEANS  MORE  THAN  JUST  TELLING . INSTRUCT  MEANS  PAPER  and  TIME .

The  people  Who  Know  their  God   Will   be  strong  and  do  great  exploits . And  those  of  the  people  who  understand  shall  instruct  many … Daniel 11 : 32 – 33 .  There  is  always  a  Few  who  understand …

maybe  this  letter  has  something  to  do  With  what  christians  Will  do  non  violently  in  the  Future . So , most  effective  Way  is  to  do  it  privately ?  small ? publicly ?  big ?  maybe  small  and  sneaky  LiKe  exploit  christians  is  best .

Decentralized  KKK  and  no  independent  media  ( it  is  controlled , except  a  bit  of  internet )  maKes  PERSONAL  UNDERSTANDING ( Daniel  those  among  the  people  Who  understand )  or  LOGIC , REASON more  important .  if  you  agree .

unLiKe  WiKipedia , this  site  Will  not  change . it  is  up  to  you  to  decide  what  the  correct  strategy  is  and  to  learn  to  thinK  strategically .  Read  my  gov’t  letter  below . As  always – if  you  agree !

STRATEGY  1 –  Logic  strategy –  blondes  Wouldn’t  exist . don’t  need   bible  or  history . duh !   blue  eyes , red   hair  do  exist .  Why ?  Kinda   important – logic  +  requires  only  1  sentence.

STRATEGY  2 – EXPOSE  MEDIA  BIAS . Leaving  Los  Angeles . South  Africa  silence . Again , it  supports  the  argument  that  We  are  being  Lied  to .

Spy  Who  Shagged   Me  painting  KKK as  Evil  ( Dr . Evil  on  Springer’s  show ).  Star  Wars  has  important  Women + blacks  ( Windu , captain , Billy  Dee ) , but  main  actors  are  still   White !

Back  To  The  Future  has  important  black  mayor + Anti – arab . examples  from  MODERN   DAY  movies  sooo  blatant  that  it  exposes  itself .

+ in  movie “ Thank  You  For  SmoKing ”, THEY  ADMITTED  that  Hollywood  deleted  smoking  scenes  from  classic  movies .

STRATEGY 3  –  Kings  of  the  East  +  the  End .  Why  did  these  2  threats  to  the  White  Race  ( Seeds  oF  men  mingling  and  Kings  of  East )  happen  only  in  the “ Last  days ” ?

MENTioN – chinese  gov’t  told  businesses  not  to  serve  blacKs  or  Mongolians  during  1988  Beijing  olYmpics . i  thought  Asians  were  Mongolian . Go  Figure . crazy  –  but …

not  Just  gov’t ,  but  Chinese  people  protesting  in  Nanjing – Get  blacKs  out . not  Mongolians .

What  happens  if  china  Wins ?  or  Worse . If  china  does  not  show  up ?  many  angry  Whites  today .

Wouldn’t  this  Kings  of  East  strategy  maKe  Asian  White  marriages  more  Acceptable ?

Yes , but , it  Would  maKe  Zebras  more  unacceptable . Hmm … there  are  pros  and  cons .

WHO  CONTROLS  THE  GOV’T  TOMORROW ?  Either  Way ,  you  Lose  if  you  marry  blacK  –  Permanently ,  political  Law  is  stronger  than  social  Law .

Who  says  most  believe  the  Bible ?  LiKe  i  said ,  Christians  do  exist . it  doesn’t  hurt  to  mention  bible  stuff  Anyway .

Just  don’t  bring  Nostradamus  into  this  – a  Land  bridge  Would  give  china  access  to  America . He  also  predicted – Russia  and  America  are  Kings  of  the  North ,  a  New  Earth  and  NYC  gets  nuked .

STRATEGY  4 – include  PICTURES   From  the  more  recent  C R  movement , S A  Farm  murders – A  PIC  SAYS  1,ooo  Words  and  makes  racism  more  personal , real , tangible . Fastest  is  paper (  in  steady  chunKs  and  not  Just  boring  text .

STRATEGY  5 – I  Would  NOT  advise  this , it  is  contrary  to  using  bible . But  old  saying ,“ Sex  sells ” maKes  me  thinK  advertisers  sometimes  avoid  this  on  purpose .

STRATEGY  6 –” A  moving  target  is  harder  to  Hit “- they  said  in  Waterloo  Bridge ! select  different  communities , not  Just  one  metro  area  or  state . on  different  nights .  Keep  police  guessing ! cry  WolF  create  diversions  1st ?

STRATEGY  7 –  KNoW  THE  ENEMY   Beware  of  going  into  or  near  big  companies ( Hospitals , Zoo )  or  gov’t  buildings  or  downtown . carnivore  exists . only  if  connected  to  internet . Beware  of  new  computer  technologies .

About  Walkie  talkies – echelon  exists . use “ suspicious ” encoded  Words  – could  be  Worse .  cell  phones  can  be  used  as  a  tracking  device.  credit  or  library  cards  leave  an  electronic  trail . CARS  have   GPS . Surveillance  cameras  all  over . Face  recognition  technology  exists .

A  Team – Find  a  person  Who  can  refill  ink  Jet  cartridges .  Saves  money  in  the  long  run . + a  computer  expert  to  download . WORK  PROFESSIONALLY .

Have  an  escape  plan . PRACTICE  – duffel   bags ?  Need  to  refill .  There  is  a “ learning  curve ”.  Someone  to  drive  van  ( materials  are  heavy ) . go  potty  1st . Need  watchers .

Still  you  looK  LiKe  a   thief !  Even  before   distributing ,  buying  certain  (  i.e., Remote  control )  items  on  Ebay  could  raise  a   flag .

A  drug  dealer  on  the  news  operated  in  a  rural  small  town   because  there  is  LESS  OF  A  POLICE  PRESENCE  and  used  video  cameras  in  front  door  and  escaped  out  back  door .

HOMEWORK –  Know  which  routes  you  are  going  to “ Hit ”.  A “ lone  wolf ”,  instead  of  a “ cell ”– even  gov’t  refers  to  these  terms  to  describe  terrorists .

Even  if  you  think  you  have  done  enough  homework  or  practise ,  Life  has  a  Way  of  reminding  you  of  your  shortcomings .

Iron  on  letters  onto  shirt ?  You  are  stupid  to  advertise  racist  beliefs . You  are  trying  to  do  it  secretly . What  if  the  gov’t  infiltrates  and  offers  stupid  plans , such  as …

It  Was  once  suggested  that  separate  militia  should  all   Join  together . In  my  opinion ,  the  gov’t  infiltrated  and  tried  to  offer  a  stupid  suggestion . one  that  Would  expose  them  for  arrest .

“SMALL”  STRATEGY  8 – be  Weary  of  making  the  group  big , as  the  militia  have  learned  to  be  Weary .   Page  2  oF   14

 Even  iF  caught , What’s  Worst  that  could  happen ? J  Edgar  Hoover  didn’t  care  about  KKK . only  communist  Party .

gov’t  doesn’t  care  about  racial   literature , only  political . proof – other  race  sites  exist . i.e.,  stormFront  . militia  is  enemy  Madeleine  Albright  said .

There  are  other  violent +  unethical +  political  strategies  I  thought  up , such  as  booby  trap  mine  the  graffiti  – explode  harmless  paint ?  sKunK ?  Strategy  9 . Which  I  intentionally  Left  off  my  Site , should  the  gov’t  persist  on  stopping  mostly  race  literature .

movie  Sound  of  music – Activity  suggests  a  LiFe  Full  of  purpose .  What  activity  does  not  WorK ?

Politics  never  WorKs . Kuchinich  and  Trump  called  voting  a  Rigged  Game .  +  Kuchinich  was  leading  on  internet  based  polls .

Politics  never  WorKs .  Immigration  increasing  year  after  year .

What  does  a  Rally  or  demonstration  or  protest  accomplish ?  or  signing  petitions ?

Long – Lasting  Graffiti  accomplishes  the  same  thing – it  shows  that  racism  exists –  Without  the  necessary  manpower  and  effort .  Much  cheaper  than  billboards  too .

STRATEGY  9 –  Low  RisK  SHORT  SENTENCES –  I’ve  heard  of  KKK  buying  billboards  before . use  airplanes  LiKe  they  did  in  Iraq . drop  leaflets . Too  heavy ?   Remote   control ?   Beware  oF  going  into  hobby  shops .

is  it  effective ?  ADL  Website  encourages  FolKs  to  send  in  photos  of  racist  graffiti ! “ Race  matters – bible  Samaritans   are  out ” – I  prefer  over  “ I  hate  Asians ”. SHoW  THAT  RACISM  EXISTS ! or  use  marKers  indoors .  Page 3 of  14

KKK’s  ” sporadic ”  leaflet  strategy  only  tells  people  that  the  KKK  exists .  So  much  more  potential . Proves  KKK  is  ABLE  &  WILLING  to  distribute .

Possible  to  use  a  “ gun ” to  launch  material , “ Flinging ” LiKe  newspaper  boy ?  Yes , but  police  may  get  Wise  to  seeing  VANS  at  night . bicycle  With  painted   Wheels  to  paint  sentences  all  over ?

The  pro  is  better  than  lazy .  Generally , the more   sophisticated  (  GREAT  exploits ) , the  greater  the  results . Example – Temporary  Radio  sites , get  Remote  control  From  other   countries ,  placing  pre – made  newspaper  outlets , — gotta  thinK !

gov’t  could  make  people  afraid  of  unleft  pacKages  by  coming  up  With  stories  on  the  evening  news .

do  this – LEAVE  IT  TO  BE  FOUND . it  Would  be  expensive  and  many  Wasted  non – hits . but  less  RisK …… You  looK  LiKe  a  thieF ! is  a  problem  that  this  could  neutralize  .

STRATEGY 10 –  When  distributing , include  my ” How  to ” strategy  plan – Your  efforts  could  multiply  and  SelF  propagate  all  BY  ITSELF .

KKK  never  required  strong  leadership . KKK  exists  in  Brazil  and   India  also . WiKipedia  said   KKK  grew  Whenever  social  tensions  arose  and   Waned   Whenever  they  loosened  automatically . KKK  is  human  nature . It  could  ignite  by  itself , couldn’t  it ?

Super  major  “ Legit ” strategy  11 –  use  bible …  Jesus  ate  With  sinners , SAMARITANS ,  Lepers . all  contagious , and  affects  those  Who  are  not  infected .  Women  too

Sinners . “ protect your  Rep ” Tax  collectors  Were  Jews  Who  collected  taxes  From  other  Jews  and  gave  it  to  the  Romans .

blacks  Were “ sold  out ” by  black  slave  traders  ( in  Africa , not  the  ships – Packed   Like  sardines .  Titanic  sank  Whites  got  Killed – public  outcry ) .

In  movie , ‘ It’s  a  Wonderful  LiFe ’ – “ You  Know  Mr . Gower ? ( a “  sinner ” outcast  pharmacist  who   poisoned  a  Kid )  you  must  be  a  Jailbird  yourself  . Throw  them  out  ”.

on  TV , a  Lady  saw  O. J.  Simpson  getting  yelled  at  one  day . She  said “  imagine  What  LiFe  is  LiKe  everyday ”

Vivien  Leigh  commits  suicide  at  end  of  ‘ Waterloo   Bridge ‘ because  she  had  a  dancer’s  Rep .

Jesus  crossed  social   Line  into  Samaria  and  could’ve  died . He  crossed  physical   Line  and  Walked  on  Water . LiKe  cursing  Laws  oF  gravity .

Samaritans Were outcasted .  Assyrians  invaded  israel  and  intermingled  . Racial  half – breeds .

Lepers – in movie ‘ Ben Hur ’, people  ran  away . There  was  a ‘  Valley  oF  Lepers ‘ and  black  circus  performers .

… but  most  are  guilty – magic  Johnson  pleaded  on  TV , “ people  say  ooh  and  shy  away  From  me . don’t  do  that ”. imagine  Life  for  him  everyday

WiKi  article ‘ Leprosy  stigma ’ – says “ Forced  segregation …  commit  suicide ’,  Families  Were  affected …

In  movie ‘ Philadelphia ’, he  was  innocent  and  got  it  from  a  blood  transfusion . They  said “ a  social  death  preceeds  a  physical  death ” For  HIV  people .

Women’s suffrage at  turn  of  the  century. in  bible , there  Were  concubines . Read  in  newspaper , Iraqi  Women  afraid  of  Saddam‘s  son , Odai .

in  Roman  days , Women  Were  treated  a  tad   better  than  animals . Aren’t  “  honor  Killings ”  still  committed  iF  they  embarrass  Family ? and  Arab  Women  Wear  veils .

constitution  and   bible  says  all  men  are  equal , and   Yet   bible  says  all  men  Rich   poor   Free   slave  have  to  accept  mark  of  the  beast .

That  a  man  is  innocent  until  proven  guilty , yet  Joseph  Went  to  prison  for  raping  Potifa’s  Wife .

blacks  changed  their  mind  and  said “ progress ”. They  Knew  abstract  equality  can’t  exist .   Page 4  of  14

Moses  married  a  Cushite  and  God   had  no  problem . Miriam   said “  LooK  what  he  did ” = “ is  he  crazy ? ” People  do  care . if  Joseph  was  innocent  and  we  free  all  rapists  in  prison , society  will   Fall  apart . Also , Joseph  couldn’t  eat  with  his  brothers  because  he  was  Egyptian  .

“ Right  to  bear  arms ” 2nd  important  amendment  and   Well  regulated  militia  is  NECESSARY .  Malcolm X  urged  all   blacks  to  get  guns .

Not  all   blacks  think  that  Way ,  but  there  are  those  that  do . Haiti – “ Whatever  you  do  to  us , We  do  to  you ! ” TanKs  on  MLK’s  birthday . President  Charles  Taylor – “ They  owe  it  to  us  ! ”. Tulsa  got  bombed   From  the  Air . War !   Surrender  at  Tulsa – and  die  after  colFax  massacre .

constitution  was  written  by  christians  who  wrote  it  in  abstract  terms ( ForeFathers  were  wise )  ON  PURPOSE  – Knowing  that  in  reality , it  doesn’t  worK  that  way . You  can  put  bible  away – abstract  concepts  apply  only  to  God .

in  reality , the  needs  oF  MANY  outweigh  needs  oF  FEW , or  the  ONE –  Star  TreK  Khan !  but  Lot  was  the  only  ONE  in  Sodom  and  the  Famine  in  Israel   happened   because  oF  a  FEW  Gibeonites . it  taKes  time  to  explain  things  LiKe  ABSTRACT..…  but  it  is  relevant .

Lights  don’t  LiKe  darKs  in  a  movie  by  important  director  SpiKe  Lee . Who  “oppresses ” poor ?  Apostle  Paul  said, the  Rich . When  poor  become  Rich ? they  oppress  also .

darKs  become  Lighter ?  mulattoes  were  Killed  on  Haiti . American  blacks  don’t  LiKe  recent  arriving  immigrants  from  Africa . india .

clarify – 1,000  years  ( 300  Arab + 700  White )  of  slavery  is  not  oppression – it  is  ForsaKen . God  deals  with  people  on  relative  time  basis  because  people  are  relative .

God’s  LAW . 1  suffers . The   other  doesn’t . Then  the  1  who  doesn’t  suffer  suffers – until  they  die . it  is  oK  unknowingly . not  oK  Knowingly .

Social   LAW .  it’s  simple – 1  is  in . 1  is  out . in  the  50’s  60’s , it  was  social  suicide  to  go  public . congressman  Strom  Thurmond   had  a  half  Kid   he  loved , but  Kept  it  hidden .

Answer  is  simple . gotta  obey  society .  everything  is  socially  defined – naKed , purple  orange  car , Wear  socKs  on  hands

Emmett  Till  whistled  at  a  white  woman  and  got  lynched . but  he  wasn’t “ SUPPOSED  TO  DO  THAT ” – socially  defined . His  pals  hightailed  it  outta  there . They  Knew .

Michael    Richards  of   Seinfeld  did  use   the  N  Word   and  the  crowd  all  got  up  and   left  . not “ supposed  to  do  that ”.

Mrs . obama  said , “ I am  a  black  woman  from  the  south  side  of  Chicago  and  i’m  not  supposed  to  be  here ”. In  her  own  Words .

if  a  leper  walks  out  of  the  Valley  of  the  Lepers  and  tries  to  mingle  with  healthy  people , who’s  wrong ?  is  he  acting  “ out  of  place ” and “ asKing  For  it ”.   Page 5  oF  14

LEARNED – babies  don’t  Know  right  hand   from  Left . Nobody  hates  when  they  are  born .

go  bacK   6o’s  TV – Gomer     Beaver     G  Acres     munsters     Adams   Fam     Jeanie     car  54     Fav  martian     3 Sons     A   Griffith     T  Zone     Howdy  d     Lost  in  Space     Flipper – All   White

70’s  movie  ‘ Walking  Tall ’ ( With  Joe  Don  BaKer , not  Re – maKe  ). ( and  it’s  based  on  a  true  story ) , 3  White  men  walKed  into  a  black  bar  and   blacks  became  quiet .

There  was  a  prostitute  in  ‘Walking  Tall ’ who  helped  the  sheriff “ good  guy ”. in  bible , the  prostitute  Rahab  helped  the  good  guys  ancient  israelites . How  real

bottom  line – Why  do  they  mingle , but  not  CLEAVE  together – because  it  goes  AGAINST   human  nature . beauty  ugly !  interracial  is  not  oK . maKe  it  cleave .  it  won’t . Why  not ? it  don’t  work  that  way .

on  New  Earth  , animal  nature – Wolf  and   Lamb   Feed  together . isaiah 65 : 25 …… malcolm X’s   dad’s   3   brothers  died   VIOLENTLY  at  the  hands  oF  white  men … All  3 , in   3  separate  incidents .

Torture  was  Known  as “ breaking ”. break  a  horse . Pavlov “ conditioned ” his   dogs . stop  torture  and   blacks  start   Fighting  bacK –  in  numbers  in  Summer  oF  1919 .

Torture  is  learned . Animals  want  to  be  happy . get  angry , sad . Native  American  slaves  stopped  maKing  babies .

Human  same  as  animal  nature . WiKipedia  said  whites  couldn’t  control  themselves  when  they  saw  blacks  with  guns  after  the  unpopular – draft  dodgers  back  then – New  York  City  draft  Riots )  Civil  War .

black  dude  walking  up  to  Michael   Richards  at  Laugh  Factory  couldn’t  control   himself . LiKe  animal .

confused ? but  human  nature – ALWAYS  WINS  IN  THE  END .  unless  gov’t  is  controlled   by  someone  else . After  6,ooo  years , India  got  rid  of  caste  system , politically , for  the  1st  time  ever  in  1950 .

but  whole  communities  are  still  segregated  in  India . caste  system  is  not  a  solution . it  only  slows  it  down . not  stop  it . a  solution  is  supposed  to  worK .  Why  Keep  it ?  Next  best  alternative  ALWAYS  WINS  IN  THE  END .

use  bible – Jews  and   Samaritans  had  no  dealings  with  one  another. WiKi  said  in  ‘ Civil   Rights  Movement ’  article – “ blacks  and  whites  would   have  to  sit  next  to  each  other — a  simple  yet  revolutionary  act ”.

Leonard   Maltin  said  something  similar  in  Little  Rascals  Vol  21  intro  – “… Kids  playing  together  wasn’t  done  then ”.

cut  people’s  heads  off  and  put  it  on  a  pole  in  Ninevah .  Jonah  hated . WiKi  said  after  slave  revolts , blacks  same  thing  cut  off  head  put  on  pole .

history  books  are  not  always  true , on  purpose  or  accident . Hard  to  verify  most  but  not  FAMOUS  HISTORY – but  if  it  fits  bible . probably  true .  Fame  Killed  o J Simpson .  can’t  move . Fame .

Michael   Richards  said “ 50  years  ago  we  had  you  upside  down  with  a  ForK  down  your  butt”. verify  history ?  truth ?

Mention  Famous  then – oprah  1st  ever  black  billionaire – out  of  how  many  who  preceded ? , Powell – 1st  ever  black  Secretary  of  State ,  44   Presidents  were  white  men .    Page 6 of  14

They  are  burning  whites  with  hot  irons  in  Africa  today – WiKipedia  said  that  blacks  were  branded . They  say  in  Africa  today “ all   Boers  are  dogs ” – WiKi  said  “ many  parKs  barred  them  with  signs  that  read “ negroes  and  dogs  not  allowed .”  if  they’re  doing  the  same  in  Africa,  then  it’s  probably  true .

Reasons – 1 History . His  Story .  2 Africa  surrounded   by  water .  3  Live  next  to  consistently  strong , but  never  super  strong  Arabs  ( Persia  silver , Babylon  gold ,  Magog  Arabs ) . 4 Always  WeaK .  5 Travels  all  over  the  World  ( slavery ) – and  suffers .  6 Just  as  much  black  blood  as  white  1.1  billion  in  Africa .  7. Asians  Won + people  thinK  in  terms  of  night  day  salt  pepper , not  thicK  hair  Asians  are  opposite  of  thin  hair  black +  India  1  billion .  LiKe  Pat  Buchanan “ endless  cycle ” of  violence .

not  true . nothing  lasts  forever . nuKes  1940’s +  Hiroshima . chemical  weapons  WW 1 . industrial   Revolution = pollution . Soon  super  pollution  Christians  say  Wormwood  – 1/3rd  of  waters  becomes  bitter .

technology –  cars  horses , trains  canals , bulbs  Fire , photos  paint , Fridge  ice . christians  are  correct .  Whites  getting  ugly  only  in  END .

IF  THIS  CONTINUES , Spike  Lee  said  you  have  to “ move  over ”.  WiKi  said  there  was  always  violence  in  India . S F   said  We  are  the  voice  of  the  new  embattled   White  minority .

Council  of  conservative  citizens  said “ What’s  happening  in  South  Africa  will   happen  here  in  America   ..… my  Kids !

After  the  NWO , blacks  are  Lucky ? Kings  of  the  East  showed  up ?  china  can’t  walk  on  water . What  about  UK , Australia ?  ThinK –  Pharaoh  used  a  containment  strategy  and  threw  male  babies  into  the   N i l e   River .

Race  is  a  matter  of  LiFe  and  death . AsK  the  Native  American  Indians . mexican  American  WAR . SA  murders .

but  it  is “ criminal ” to  outcast  because  of  race  UN  said . it  is  if  you  thinK  about  it . but  HISTORY  FITS  BIBLE – concubines , monarchies ,  Lynch  mobs – Stephen  was  stoned . They  publicly  hung  criminals  in  America  long  ago . They  crucified  in  the  bible – naked . Public  humiliation  is  outlawed   by  constitution .

There  were  no “ bankruptcy  laws ”. You  lost  all  you  had   back  then – debtor’s  Prison .

IN  BIBLE  ( monarchies  most   stable  Form  of  gov’t ) + in  movie ‘ Wizard  oF  oZ ’ + Audrey  Hepburn  movie  ( I  Forget ) , there  were  European  monarchies . No  more  monarchies  after  WW1 . media  labels  it  “ dictatorship ”.

Most  are  simply  CONFUSED . When  Israel  airlifted  ( 1st  class + expensive )   Ethiopian  Jews , Israeli  gov’t  said  ( once  they  arrived – IT  WAS “ CONFUSED ” +  it  took  Israel  over  20  years  ( since  1948 – in  Feb  1973 ) to  even  recognize  Ethiopians .

Word   For  Word , according  to “ Ethiopian  Jews  in  Israel ” WiKi  article – “ Which  was  and  still  is  mainly  subjected  to  political  developments  in  Israel .”…… gov’t  is  still  thinking !  even  to  this  day .

Ashkenazi   ( European )  don’t  LiKe  Sephardi  ( From  Middle  East ) Jews . Pat  Buchanan  don’t  LiKe  arabs  either . or  Messianic  Jews  ( christians )  try  to  convert  my  Kids  ( contagious )  .

Messianics  live  in  Israel  way  before  Ethiopian . Race  precedes  religion  to  society .  WASP . White  precedes  Anglo  Saxon  precedes  Protestant .

Lepers  were  separated  to  PROTECT  THE  INNOCENT. it’s  more  important  ( to  Forefathers )  to  free  Joseph ,  rather  than  punish  Potifa’s  Wife . outlaw  interracial – protect  the  innocent . but  our  gov’t  doesn’t .

People  LIE – Jews  of   Weimar  Republic  thought  they  were “ more  German  than  Jewish ”, but  they  got  Killed . Latinos  think  they’re  American , but  segregated  communities  exist.

Explain  WHY. gov’t ! if  whites  rule , Why  bring  in  Eastern  and  southern  Europeans  in  1890’s ?  Japanese  after  WW 2 ?  Latinos  1990’s ?

SLOWLY – Show  progressive ! – it  would  implicate  that  NWO  existed   long  ago . Even  before  the  civil   Rights  movement , Whites  are  getting  uglier – blacks  ain’t  winning  because  of  CR .

i  discovered  that  the  NAACP  was  started   by  Jews . Attorney  general  Amos  Tappan  Ackerman . CORE – Goodman   Schwerner .  Scottsboro  boys – Liebowitz .

STRATEGY  12 – Explain  Women . Jesus  ate  With . suffrage  movement  + Femi – nazi’s – again – in  1960’s  Pat  Buchanan  said – progressive .

You  could   have  2  Wives  in  Asia . They  have  2  Wives  in  the  Middle  East  today . in  bible , Abraham  had  2  Wives   ( Sarah  and   Hagar ) . media  labels  it  ‘ bigamist ’.

Pakistan  leader  Bhutto  was  1st  Female  leader  of  an  Islamic  nation – ever !  Albright  1st  ever !  Woman  Secretary  of   State . Thatcher  and  Golda  Meir  are  the  iron ladies  of   UK  and   Israel – not

STRATEGY  13 – Explain  consequences … Kids  are  Kids . At  school . Malcolm X  was  told   by  a  teacher “ being  a  Lawyer  is  no  goal   For  a  N *  LiKe  you ”.

Kids  and  adults  are  cruel  to  those  who  don’t  looK  LiKe  they  do . “ dad , Why  did  you  marry  mom ? ” Now  don’t  say  that  about  your  mom !

“ I  got  into  a  Fight  today  dad ”.  Why ?  in  mind  “ Fight  it ”  blacks  get  into  Fights  ( i’ve  heard  this  MANY  times ) .

denny’s  WiKi  article – not  serve  black  Secret  Service  agents . BoJangles  Robinson  was  told  to  leave  a  restaurant  once .

” Asian  Jen  and  White  Tina  parent’s  told  me  she  couldn’t  marry  me  last  night . They  absolutely  refused . We  broke  up ”.

sigh …“ must  Fight  it . Fight  society”. try  again . “ son , maybe  you  should  Just  marry  a  black  girl ”… hopelessness  sets  in . He  grows  older. It  is  learned  over  time .

Read  in  Plain  Dealer :  doctors  prescribe  medicine  less  often  to  blacks . Some  blacks  have  good  Jobs ( usually  gov’t  post  office , RTA  ) , but  not  most .

Plain  Dealer  said – generally , older  Whites  do  NoT  interracially  marry .  generally , younger  do .   Page 7  of  14

Rumors  are  public . black  is  public . People  see  and   hear  things . You  can’t  Just  “ move  on ” with  your  Life – unless  you  move , LiKe  some  slaves , not  most , did   long  ago ( to  nation  of   Liberia )

God  said  to  Samuel – man  looKs  upon  the  outward  appearance . I  don’t . but  people  do . God  said  so .  Fat ,  ugly  people  discrimination  will  not  go  away . Racism  also .

Are  blacks  LiKe  Joseph ?   Right  to  be  angry .  Life’s  not  Fair . innocent . Killed . does  that  give  Joseph  the  right  to  spread  ( public )   rumors  about  someone ?

A  song – LooK  at  all  these  rumors  surrounding  me  EVERYDAY… tell   him  to  pass  a  bill  so  that  next  time  they  catch  rumors  shoot  to  Kill !    Page  8  of   14

STRATEGY  14 – Promote  british  irish  beauty , especially  FAIR  SKIN  TRAIT . Show  them  Just  how  pretty  and  the  irish  are .  Need  pics . examples  From  sports , past – Just  how  british  we  once  were .  and   BiG .

There  is  disparity . over  time , people  may  be  able  to  distinguish . it  would   lead  to  less  tolerance  to  becoming  even  a  little  uglier … to  the  individual .  Write  it  out  LiKe  I  did – Faster  learning  curve .

black  last  names – no  Stallone , SWarzenegger , Dimitri , East  South  European . getting  blurry  tho –  Half  brits .

Tall : Conan  O ’ Brien , JFK ,  Ted  Cassidy  ( Adams  Family ) , Fred  Gwynne  ( Herman  Munster ) + Larry  Byrd  and  Kevin  McHale  – definitely  Boston  Celtic .  3  actors –  Liam  Neeson , Tim  Robbins ,  Chuck  Connors .

NOTICE :  FEW  big  latinos  ( Statistically , many  participate  in  Football  ) .  Munoz ?  Just  1 , LiKe  Bruce  Lee .

Tommy  Morrison  ( Rocky  5 ) ,  Dempsey  (  heavyweights ,  unLike  latinos ) , Kevin  McBride   (  100%  irish . beat  Tyson ) .

irish  Mark  McGuire  ( home  run  King ) . latino  canseco  was  never  as  big  .

Dorian  Yates  ( brit . Mr . Olympia )   Eastern  Honky  Arnold  was  never  as  massive

+ Lee  Haney  never  achieved  success  LiKe  Arnold . Blades  never  succeeded   LiKe  chuck  Norris  or  Van  Damme .

Point – beauty  is  strategy  of  itself . Who  is  more  beautiful   than  brits ?  Haman  tripped  into  Ester’s  “ bosoms ”. boobs  matter .  KILL  ABRAHAM .  STEAL  SARAH . could  get  husband   KILLED – does   matter .

Almost  all  uncensored  (  by  Cabin  Fever  only  on  VHS )  Little  Rascals  have  the  Kind  of  racial  propaganda , but  not  historically  inaccurate , the  KKK   LiKes – negative  black  portrayals .  Which  is  also  censored !

in  other  Words , 1. Song  of   the  South  or  Rascals – take  precedent  over  2. Mary  Poppins – british , but  still  not  a  Lie  historically . This  categorizing  strategy – is – relevant , but  not  very  important . # 1  Song  of   South , Gone  With  Wind .

# 2  BRiT + religion   2   For  1  deal : my  Fair  Lady , Waterloo  Bridge , Chitty  Bang  .  Expose  immoral  strategy – Proves  that  they  removed  religion + Fun !

Answer  is  no – 3  caballeros  stereotypes  Latinos , but  does  so  in  a  romantic  sort  of   Way . Naming  gov’t  buildings  after  blacks ?  Bad – does  so  in  an  important  Way . Streets , gov’t  and  utility  buildings , bus  stations  are  named  after  blacks . and   holidays – Kwanzaa , MLK .    Page 9  of  14

STRATEGY  15 – EXPOSE  IMMORALITY .  Some  classics  Were  not  released  on  dvd , or  Were  edited  for  moral  reasons  alone . not  Just  RACE  LIES  . GaY  Lez  too.  +  nudity

2 Timothy 3 :1-4  ( unedited  KJV ) 1 This  Know  also , that  in  the  Last  days  perilous  times  shall  come .  2  For  men  shall   be  lovers  of  their  own  selves , covetous , boasters …

We  are  being  lied  to  both  racially  and  immorally  should  complement  each  other’s  arguments . These  are  mostly  old  movies . important  but  ethics  TAKES  A  LIFETIME  of  dvd   learning .

I  wouldn’t  do  this  except  short  movie  snipets – Actors  praying , reading  bible , etc . I’m  not  sure . maybe  it  is  good  to  include  the  whole  movie . LiKe  Betty  Boop , any  old  disney , RanKin  Bass  will  do .

With  a  plastic  dvd , I  was  worried  about  oily  fingerprints . besides , movies  are  not  concentrated  education .

I  would  use  at  least  1  concentrated  dvd – put  all  materials , if  not  more , on  dvd . dvd’s  can  be  replicated – could  result  in  SHARING . movies  in  AVI   Format  on  computer , but  more  people  have  dvd  players  VOB  Format . or  both .    Page 10 of 14

STRATEGY  16 – DON’T  GIVE  UP – Leads  to  greater – UNDERSTANDING ,  LEARNING  IS  RELATIVE . KEEP  DOING  IT . Why  did   Hollywood   ban  movies , cartoons ?  Answer : Racism  is  Learned .

History , segregation – say  otherwise … don’t  give  up !  6,ooo  year  India  got  rid  of  caste  system  for  the  1st  time  ever  in  1950 .

Don’t  be  intimidated  by  the  length  of  my  letter . overthrow  gov’t … not  gonna  happen  is  it ?  “ Terrorism ” is  cheap – All  it  taKes  is  paper .

But  it  is  gov’t  who  has  Lied . The  media – silence  SA + LA = Lie . Right ?  Wrong ?  Blacks  who  used  children ( children’s  crusade ) – Who  have  crossed  the  Line . of  right  and  wrong .       Page 11  of   14

The  KKK  is  MAYBE  INFILTRATED ?, that  the  United   Northern  and  Southern  Knights  asK  on  their  Website – is  it  better  to  be  smaller ? ) .  By  chance , I  discuss  this  in  my  letter .

To  Council  of  CC – When  doing  things  publicly  my  letter  Warns  about  Disney . is  Baum  Jewish ?  Did  any  meet  an  untimely  death ?  No  Jews  in  White  groups !

Miriam  complained  about  Moses  marrying  a  Cushite + Women  most  often  complain  about  interracial . Teaching  strategy  is  perfect  for  WAU “ Women  for  Aryan  Unity ” – as  they  say . non – violent  become  a  Female  race  Litterbug !

because  the  KKK  Was  fragmented + decentralized  in  1981  ( michael  donald   lawsuit ) , I  used  the  Know  the  Enemy  strategy  to  get  many  addresses – I  visited   SPLC + ADL  enemy  List ! could  someone  forward  this  to  WAU ? and   White  sisters  in  particular

Accept  uglier ?  Lost  the  magic ?  Lost  Disney  itself  ! or  a  spoonful  of  sugar ( Fun , not  hard , convenience  striKe )  maKes  the  medicine ( distributing  WorK )  go  down . or  preseal  the  material  in  a  bag  or  envelope  before  distributing  if  you  are   afraid  of  fingerprints .

initially  it  taKes  WorK . gather  Which  material  ? staple  it … Leave  it , striKe  at  clothing  store . Library . bathroom . shopping  cart . go  to  new  restaurant !    Page  12  of   14

—————————— Excerpt  from  WWW.resist.com/JOOMJournal/BITTERFRUIT.html  ( it  was  sent  to  me  from  TLH  central   NY  White  Pride  Syracuse  NY  )………

…….. What  those  bastard  Jews  have  been  WorKing  toward   for  decades , and  they’ve  finally  succeeded . Here  in  California  and  all  other  coastal  cities , it’s  commonplace  now  to  see  young  blondes  running  With  the  ugliest  damned  plates  Lips  you  ever  saw . I’m  flat  astounded  that  these  young  Women  Will  turn  their  bacKs  on  good   looKing , smart  young  White  men  to  run  With  these  animals .

Here  again  We  see  the  fruit  of   Liberal \ Jew  brainwashing . If  you  tell  the  public  that  shit  smells  LiKe  a  Rose  long  enough , there  Will   be  a  percentage  of   Fools  that  Will  start  to  believe ��it ……….. and   boy , are  the  Jews  squealing  LiKe  stucK  pigs . They  hate  it . For  decades  now  they’ve  outlawed  spanKing , Labeling  it “ cruel  and  unusual  punishment ”…………  SNIP ——————————————

You  see ?  Racism  is  learned + my  ( Last )  don’t  give  up  Strategy  16  Keep  doing  it  strategy – it  tooK  Jews  decades  of  brainwashing …… You  see ?  much  thought  Went  into  my  letter .

many  Roach – Era  Little  Rascals  show  spanKing  or  parental  discipline – before  it  Was  bought . + Vol 21 – best  of  all  volumes  and  it  is  the  Last  one . At  the  introduction , Leonard  Maltin  admits  that  Hollywood  used  racial  and  ethnic  stereotypes . ——————————————————————  WiKipedia  Keeps  changing  content  so  save  the  article  onto  your  hard  drive . As  of   Sept 23 , 2013 – WiKi  said :

in “ Missing  White  Woman  Syndrome ” WiKi – most  often  a  missing  person  case , involving  a  young , white , upper – middle  class  ( frequently  blonde )  woman  or  girl .

…………… Steal  Sarah  is  Abraham’s  sister  Lie .  Privately ,  Potifa’s  Wife  tried  to  seduce  Joseph .

2  Samuel  13 : 1-14  –  Privately , as  she  was  feeding  him , Amnon  grabbed  beautiful  Tamar  and  raped  her .  Absalom  murdered  Amnon  later.

I  heard  pretty  White  gals  on  SF  complain  about  blacKs  getting  violent  or  touched  sometimes –  He  Fondled  me  in  daylight .  Even  Raping

Foreign  Aid   WorKers  in  Sudan .

other  stories –  He  Fondled  himself  ,  touched  my  hip  With  his  erect  penis  on  subway , she  undressed  and  tried  to  seduce  me .

Another  SF  girl  said ,  besides  getting  hit  on  and  unwanted  pushy  help  –  occasional  threats ,  occasional  KnocK  on  the  door  “ I  Want  sex ”.

Another  SF  girl  said – death  threat ! … SneaKY  threat  tactics  employed  by  -some  –  blacKs .

+  I  saw  on  Youtube , a  black  dude  threatening  to  punch  a  girl  and  demanding  her  phone  number … prepare  your  daughters  mentally  Just  in  case

Enough  is  enough  –  Just  do  NOT  GO  TO  PRISON  –  LiKe  many  guys  write  to  ‘ White  Voice’  from  prison –  cuz  they  are  stupid …. Live  to  Fight  another  day !

Just  WATCH  and  WAIT  and  do  harmless  SKunK  bomb  or  paint  to  those  Who  move  into  White  communities . That  Would  make  me  move !

in “ Atlantic  Slave  trade ”  WiKi – The  enslaved  people  Were  tortured   for  the  purpose  of  “ breaKing ” them  ( LiKe  the  practice  of  breaKing  horses ) and  conditioning  them …

in “ Dennis  Kucinich ” WiKi – He  also  placed  1st  in  other  polls , particularly  internet – based  ones . This  led  many  activists  to  believe  that  his  showing  in  the  primaries  might  be  better  than  what  Gallup  polls  had   been  saying .

in “ Sexual  revolution  in  1960s  US ” article – homosexuality  was  still   widely  publicly  reviled , and  more  often  than  not  was  seen  as  a  malaise  or  mental  illness , instead  of  a  legitimate  sexual  orientation . Indeed  throughout  the  1950s  and  1960s  the  overriding  opinion  of  the  medical  establishment  was  that  homosexuality  was  a  developmental  maladjustment .

in “ Public  humiliation ” WiKi – has  largely  fallen  out  of  favor  since  the  practice  is  now  considered   CRUEL  AND  UNUSUAL  PUNISHMENT , which  is  outlawed  in  the  US  Constitution …. + crucifixion  was  used   by  the  Romans  to  add  public  humiliation  to  A  DEATH   PENALTY .

in “ NAACP ” WiKi – at  its  founding , the  NAACP  had  only  one  African  American  on  its  executive  board , Du Bois  himself . + Early  Jewish – American  co – founders  included  Julius  Rosenwald , Lillian  Wald , Rabbi  Emil  G . Hirsch  and  Wise .

in “ Second   Reconstruction ”  WiKi – statistically  Jews  were  one  of  the  most  actively  involved  non – black  groups  in  the  movement

in “ Debtors ’ prison ” WiKipedia – Prior  to  the  mid   19th  century  debtors ’ prisons  were  a  common  Way  to  deal   With  unpaid  debt .      Page  13  of   14

……………Today  you  can  declare  chapter  11   banKruptcy . You  don’t  have  to  pay  bacK  what  you  owe .

in “ Caste  System  in  India ”  article – There  have  been  challenges  to  the  caste  system  from  the  time  of   Buddha , [22]   Mahavira  and   Makkhali  Gosala .

+ The  practice  of  untouchability  was  formally  outlawed   by  the  Constitution  of   India  in  1950 ,

+ Violence  against  Dalits ,  almost  always  by  other  backward  castes

…………… blacks  never  stop  trying  in  US  history  also . Even  Light  skin  blacks  don’t  LiKe  darK  skin  blacks .

in “ Racism ” WiKi – Almost  uniformly , people  who  are  darker – skinned  and  of  indigenous  descent  make  up  the  peasantry  and  working  classes , while  Lighter – skinned , Spanish – descent  Latin  Americans  are  in  the  ruling  elite . [32][33]

+ Race  is  one  of  the  three  characteristics  most  often  used  in  brief  descriptions  of  individuals  ( the  others  are  age  and  sex ) .

+ The  mass  demonstrations  and  riots  against  African  students  in  Nanjing , China , Lasted   from  december  1988  to  January  1989 . [131]

+ Bar  owners  in  central   Beijing  had   been  forced  “ not  to  serve  black  people  or  Mongolians ” during  the  2008  Summer  Olympics .

+ In  Asia  and   Latin  America ,  Light  skin  is  seen  as  more  attractive . [119]  Thus , skin  whitening  cosmetic  products  are  popular  in  East  Asia  [120]  and   India. [121]

…………… No  matter  where  you  go  Lighter  skin  is  higher  –  Asia ,  Latin  America ,  india .

in “ Ethnic  pornography ” WiKi – porn star  Mariah  Milano  concluded  that  racism  is  still  considerably  rampant  in  the  porn  industry  and  it  is  often  concealed   by  tongue – in – cheeK  arguments  LiKe  female  performers ’ personal  preferences .

…………… Gay  ( sinners ) ,  Lesbian , interracial   Lies  in  MANY  pornos  today . Not  Long  ago , A  MERE  KISS  ( 1st  interracial   Kiss  on  US  TV  WiKi  Said  )  caused  a  rucKus  on  Star  TreK .  or  1968   Petula  ClarK  touched   Harry  Belafonte’s  arm  on  TV .   Page 14 of  14

in “ Ku  Klux  Klan ” WiKi – big  city  newspapers  were  often  hostile  and  ridiculed   Klansmen  as  ignorant  farmers . + Lessening  of  social  tensions  contributed  to  the  Klan’s  decline .

…………… newspapers  were  propaganda  even  bacK  then .  Lessening  contributed – automatically . KKK  is  human  nature !

in “ Racism  in  the  United  States ” WiKi – One  of  every  nine  black  families  has  a  close  relative  in  prison  over  aggressive  arrests  done  by  US  law  enforcement.[105].

+ Mexican   mafia  Leaders , or  shot  callers , that  they  have  issued  a ” green  Light ” on  all   blacks . This  amounts  to  a  standing  authorization  for  Latino  gang  members  to  prove  their  mettle  by  terrorizing  or  even  murdering  any  blacks  sighted  in  a  neighborhood  claimed   by  a  gang  loyal  to  the  Mexican  mafia .

+ A  HISTORY  of  gov’t – sponsored  experimentation , such  as  the  notorious  Tuskegee  Syphilis  Study  has  Left  a  Legacy  of  black  distrust  of  the  medical  system .

…………… even  to  this  day , in  Israel , Ethiopian  Jewish  Women  injected   With  birth  control   by  the  Ministry  of   Health  without  their  Knowledge . YOU  COULD  DIE – blacks  Leaving  Los  Angeles . AsK  michael  donald – Killed  at  random .

in “ Driving  While  Black ”  WiKi – The  phrase  implies  that  a  motorist  may  be  pulled  over  by  a  police  officer  simply  because  he  or  she  is  black , and  then  questioned , searched , and / or  charged  with  a  trivial  offense . This  concept  stems  FROM  A  HISTORY…

+ for  many  years  doctors  forced  African  American  sickle – cell  sufferers  to  endure  PAIN  because  they  assumed  that  blacks  would   become  addicted  to  medication ; Time  magazine  Labeled  this ” ailing  while  black .” [9][10]

…………… Explain  consequences  strategy – go  to  Jail , stopped   by  police – also . Long  Live  Rodney  King !   Pain  suffering . for  your  Kids !

Why  WiKi  debt  prison ?  History  Fits  bible !  Why  Kucinich ?  Expose  media  bias  strategy !  it  doesn’t  taKe  sophisticated  info , does  it ?

Did  this  Letter  affect  your  racial  opinions , at  all  ?  If  so ,  educate  your  Kids  at  Least .  BY  LAW  your  Kids  can  disobey  parents  and  marry  Whoever  they  Want .  convince  your  family + extended – at  Least … it’s  your  Family  not  mine .

I  personally  Knew  a  dad  who  PLEADED  with  his  son  not  to  marry  a  black  girl . Had  a  talK  with  her … Kept  talKing  to  him … up  to  the  Last  Wedding  day  BUT  HE  DID  anyway . TELLING  YOUR  KIDS  DOESN’T  ALWAYS  WORK . True  story .

Afraid  getting  too  pushy   Will   bacK Fire  on  your  Kids ? or  hope  they  Find  out  on  their  own ?  Parents  are  confused  on  SF . I  can  maKe  it  clear – instruct  teach .

many  different  opinions  I  read  on  SF – by  example , ” Plant  Seeds ” , explain  guide , Learn  from  experience  could  be  too  Late . books . movies . use  reason  ( Logic  strategy )  support  With  Facts . gently  Little  at  a  time . Watch  TV  With  them . – ALL  OF  WHICH   MEANS –  INSTRUCT  LIKE  BIBLE  SAYS  ( use  bible  strategy ).

I  read  on  SF – by  example , make  them  proud  of  heritage  – most  of  all . Teaching  by  example  has  a  problem . Your  Kids  may  misinterpret  “ your  example “. Perception  is  everything . What  is  to  be  proud  of  certain  White  Heritages ?

STRATEGY  17 – Teach  many  various   curriculum . ANYTHING  HELPS – ADDS  UP  to  greater –  LiKe  Strategy  16 , UNDERSTANDING ,  LEARNING  IS  RELATIVE .

content  curriculum . What  to  teach  Kids ?  FolKs  on  SF  never  thinK  up  these  things  – Abstract  concepts , What  is  human  nature , Women’s  history – supports  argument  We  are  being  Lied  too , etc

FolKs  on  SF  mention  these  things – Logic , media  bias , use  pics , expose  immorality , use  bible + History  fits  bible , consequences , Famous  History – Famous  individuals , etc

on  SF , I  don’t  understand  why  talking  about  Hitler  or  holocaust  has  anything  to  do  with  racial  awareness .  Avoid  nazi  label  with  your  Family . What  about  Jews ?  I  don’t  Know

Today’s  Leaflets  and  Flyers  are  WAY  WAY  too  brief . If  you  are  gonna  distribute , which  is  RisKy , Why  not  have  MUCH  paper  per  striKe ?  The  Finder  can  choose  not  to  read  anymore .

others  on  SF  do  distribution  also  –  Way  too  short  in  my  opinion . I  practiced – better  to  distribute  over  a  WIDE  AREA  &  over  time . It  Was  a  pain  to  travel .

In  UNFAMILIAR , I  Jeopardized  myself  on  occasion . once  a  man  asked  me  What  I  Was  looking  for  and  a  terrible  answer  slipped  out  in  Hospital .

Easier  to  Just  leave  it  as  I  stopped  along  the  Way  looKing  natural . Rule –  never  out  of  place . LiKe  guerilla . I  used  the “ convenience  striKe ” lazy  method .

What  is  convenience  striKe ? – don’t  hide  fingerprints . inK  costs  money . use   your  company’s  printer  lazy boy .  don’t  have  to  be  pro .

When  opportunities  present  themselves –  always  have  stapled  copies  on  hand . Either  Way  there  is  a  chance  of  being  caught .

Any  method ,  besides  INSERTS  in  clothing ,  newpaper , or  library  booK ,  and  they  maybe  Will  Know  it  Was  you . The  next  day , I  Went  to  same  store  or  restaurant , and  they  Knew  it  Was  me  Who  did  it .

bathrooms  are  saFe  as  long  as  you  read  using  toilet  or  leave  it  While  PRETENDING  to  search  through  my  backpack  While  using  baby  changing  station .

You  could  use  both  the  dvd +  case  With  cover  For  2  separate  striKes .  cannabalize  your  dvd  collection ?  both  are  in 2  sided  sleeve  together .

I’ve  VERY  VERY  often  pretended  that  it  Was  an  accident  as  i  PICKED  UP  MY  BACKPACK  TO  LEAVE . Purses  For  gals .

I’ve  had  a  Few  people  return  to  me “ohh  you  left  something “.  Just  thanK  them  story . EYES  ALWAYS  WATCH , even  at  night . must  pretend .

Some  say  Just  Leave  a  LinK . Paper  is  more  direct  and  sharable . No  dvd  player  or  internet  needed . Who  says  internet  Will  exist  tomorrow ?

There  are  no  guarantees  either . Your  Kids  may  marry  black  anyway  I   heard  on  SF  MANY  times – until  they  become “ aware ”. You  mean – convinced !

I’ve  often  read  on  StormFront – move . moving  or  going  to  a  private  school  only  decreases  the  chances  of  intermingling . Besides ,  blacks  hit  on  Whites  all  the  time . You  can’t  be  there  or  Watch  over  your  Kids  all  the  time .

We  are  being  bombarded  by  media . not  Just  schools . Teaching  shielding  is  better  than  moving .  or  ALL  3  is  better – move , school , teach .

HOW  TO “ HOMESCHOOL” ?  I  saw  2  moms  sitting  down  and  reading  a  booK   With  their  Kid  at  a  restaurant  that  I  Frequent . When  I  Was  a  Kid , my  dad   Would  read   With  me . ” I’m  so  proud  of  you ” 1  mom + my  dad  said . Sit  down  With  them .

Why  I  do  this ?  I  want  credit  for  coming  up  With  these  ideas . Literally  I  am  1  individual  Who  came  up  With  a  Teaching + Legit  use  bible + other  ideas  to  help  Whites .

Some  folks  on  S F  complimented .  one   S F  girl   PM-ed  me – “ GREAT  thoughts ! “ exclamation  marK  too .

IF  You  LIKE , IF  You  AGREE , IF  You  care  about  beautY  –  Post  plan  on  S F   or

IF  You  care  about  Your  FamiLY , close  Friends –  Fast  EasY  WaY  to  trY  to  convince – email  this  site  to  them .

Should  WorK – Another  S F  man  Pm-ed  – “ I  visited  Your  Site . It’s  GREAT “.

Who  is  right ?  Wrong ?  Lies ?  Abuse ?  She  said  no . They  Keep  doing  it ?  What  is  WorKing  ?   tinasm.com

Reminder –  my  site  is  not  just  teach  strategy , but  also  use  bible . convincing  starts  with  Legitimacy .

God said to  Samuel – man  looKs  upon  the  outward  appearance . I  don’t . but  people  do . God  said  so .  Fat ,  ugly  people  discrimination  will  not  go  away .

Samaritans –  Race  matters   in   bible .

only  in  the  Last  days ,  they  mingle , but  not  CLEAVE  together – because  it  goes  AGAINST   human  nature .

Joseph couldn’t eat with his  brothers  because  he  was  Egyptian  .

etc  etc  +  HISTORY   FITS   bible

E N D     O F     R A C E     S I T E

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because  the  domain  is  named  after  2  Women  ( can’ t  change  domain  name ) , who  were  also  mentioned  in  my  gov’t  letter , i  must , as  they  say  in  Hollywood – have  continuity . connect  domain  to  the  site’s  relevance .

According  to  Fling , 2  of   the  most  beautiful–est  women  who  ever  posed .  Why  do  women  need “  bosoms ”  LiKe  queen  Ester – to  Win  a  beauty  contest , didn’t  she ?  Just  how  potentially  beautiful  can  a  White  person  get ?   Fling + my  site’s  answer

goals – 1. To  taunt  british  Tina  Small‘s  christianity . LiKe  they  said  in  movie ‘ Rocky ‘. To  bring  her  out .  The  italian  chicKen .

Tina – actually – prays  in  1  pic ! ?  Yet , she  poses . only  topless  Justifies ?

I  believe  that  the  early  Tina  was  real , not  the  Later . computer  technology  Was  not  so  advanced  in  1981 .

+  on  internet , i  heard  people  say  they  met  or  saw  Tina  in  real   Life . Also , for  example :

country Walks round Faughcingcester http://www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/s/small/tour.htm

Site  probably  offends  christians . is  it  a  crime  to  have  Tits ?

on ‘ Price  is  Right ‘, Bob  BarKer  interviews  a  busty  contestant  and  audience  laughs – she  didn’t  do  nothing !

goal  2 . To  prove  Roberta  is  irish . All  over  internet , they  say  she  is  Latvian .

Another  goal – maybe  she  will  visit  also . Kinda  young  when  she  posed . born  in  1950 ?   Tina + Sarah  was  still   beautiful , even  when  old .

They  say  she’s  dead , but  who  believes  what  they  say ?  After  all , is  Tina’s  real  name  Tiny  or  small  ?  Logic !

https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberta_Pedon

says – eyes  green … under  various  pseudonyms , including  the  most  note ” melody  o‘ Hare “,” Roberta  Weaver ”,” mooschi “…

https://br.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=1006052512976

says  her  nom  de  plume ” melody  o‘Hare ” comes  From  the  name  of  one  of  her  best  friends  in  Junior  high  school .

WiKi  article ‘ pen  name ’– a  pen  name , nom  de  plume , or  Literary  double …… may  be  used  to… disguise …to  distance … a  pseudonym  may  be  used  to  protect …

+  3  magazine  covers  say  her  name  was  Robin .

Melody ?  Robin ? was  the  most  photographed  Woman  of  her  time . mountains  of  her  pics  exist . my  point – beauty  made  her  rich .

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[msbrightside85]

You are unique

Yes, well you know I am! But in China you really are. Some Chinese people have never seen a westerner in the flesh their whole life and so when they see you walking down the street they have no qualms about staring at you. Really staring at you. Like right in the eye. They’re not shy or embarrassed about it. I’ve actually had some people put their own safety at risk while staring at me. Like continuing to walk while staring and the result being walking into the road or onto bumpy ground or almost into another person! I was warned about this before I came out here so it wasn’t such a shock when it started happening, so I would like to issue you guys with the same courtesy.

Of course that being said, it doesn’t mean that some days I don’t feel like shouting ‘WHAT?!!’ but I don’t, or at least I haven’t as yet. Candy was telling me the other day about bad china days and they’re totally a thing when you’re not living in your home country. They happen every now and again when China is just not on your side. So maybe they’ll be a time when I will be pushed to say something but really what is it gonna do anyway? The people staring tend to be the people who don’t speak English so I’d probably be able to get away with it.

Only just today when I started writing this, (I’m in a café - see pic below) a girl around the age of thirteen came up to my table and stood and stared at me. Then her little sister (around four years old) joined her and they both just stood and looked at me. I smiled and said hello and then they disappeared. For all of ten seconds before returning. So I asked their names and the older sister spoke a little English so we had a short conversation and then their mum came over and shooed them away.

A similar thing happened to me and Lizzie a couple of weeks ago. We had gone to a shopping mall straight after work and we were in one of the shops (a Chinese version of Superdrug although the deodorant prices were much more Boots-esque!) and Lizzie told me there was a girl following us. So I turned around and there she was, a Chinese girl around the age of eleven just stood staring at us. So we chatted - Me: Hello Girl: Helo Me: What’s your name? Girl: My name’s Kitty Me: Hello Kitty my name is Rachael and this is Lizzie Kitty: Hello Me: How are you? Kitty: I’m fine thank you and you? Me: I’m great thank you awkward silence and staring … Kitty: Ok bye! Me: Bye

And off she went to inform her Mum and Grandma of the conversation she just had with the two English girls. Lizzie had seen them trying to get her to come and talk to us so that she could practice her English, apparently this is something that happens a lot too. As we left the shop we bumped into her again so we smiled, and just as we were passing her she shouted WELCOME TO CHINA!! and beamed this huge smile. These little things make my day to be honest and it has to be said it is much easier and feels a little more acceptable when children do it as opposed to adults … I’m not sure you’ll ever really get used to that.

However, there was this one time when I arrived in China (it was my first day) and I had decided to go out for a walk to explore the area and as I left the flat, a guy was waiting to go down in the lift (we’re on the 11th floor). He stared at me the whole way. As we got to the bottom he said hello and started asking me questions about where I was from and how long I’d been in China (he found it highly amusing that I’d not even been here for a day!) and he offered to show me the local park and shopping mall. I reluctantly agreed and was careful to stay close to where other people were and keep the conversation light and not too personal (England safety mentality kicking in). But as it turned out I didn’t need to be concerned at all, the guy (whose name I don’t know - it just never came up!) genuinely wanted to practise his English and show the new girl around. I cannot thank him enough, he will never know how helpful it was to be shown around the supermarket and to have the process for buying fruit and veg explained to me at such an early stage in my Chinese experience (of course they were my first purchases … not beer and crisps …). I have only seen him once since and at the time I was rushing to find a bus stop as I was meeting someone so couldn’t stop to talk. I haven’t seen him again but if I do I’ll let you know.

Anyway where was I? Oh yes. As if staring isn’t enough of a shock there’s the photos. People take pictures of you with or without you knowing. It’s only ever happened to me once (that I know of) when me and Candy went to the Lotus Wetlands Park. We were walking along a boardwalk and a few people were walking towards us. One guy stopped right ahead of us, took out his phone, pointed it at us, took a picture and then walked off. So a little piece of me and Candy is somewhere around only god knows where.

Talking of taking pictures without permission …

I know it’s a bit naughty and very hypocritical of me but I couldn’t resist! This girl is sat on the path … in the middle of a small, busy, direct walkway that everyone uses to get down the street. Now come on, is it really sensible?! I think sometimes it’s good job I speak a different language because I do find myself muttering ‘are you joking’, 'cheers buddy’ and other sayings that express my exasperation at some people’s lack of awareness about personal space or general common sense. This has not even been the worst, I have seen cars completely obscuring the walkway too. 

Anyway, going back to personal space even Patrick Swayze found himself explaining the basics of space while teaching Jennifer Grey to dirty dance (it was a concept they didn’t stick to for very long however!). But what I’m trying to say is if you do decide to visit be prepared for a little bustling, people coming closer to you than you expect in the street (including people on e bikes, bicycles and in cars!) because it really is a thing here and that’s just the strangers.

It’s a whole other ball game with people you know. With my local teacher colleagues I’ve noticed that once you’re in you’re in. They may take a little while to get to know you but once they’re comfortable with you, it’s both feet in. I’ve never met a group of people, by nature or culture perhaps that are so helpful to the point that they would put themselves out to assist. Now of course I know some super helpful people (big shout out to you all) but it’s almost like here they’re helpful by culture, like en mass. Once you’re friends, they’re offering you food with the expectation you will accept heartily and eat it directly from the chop sticks they’re eating from, they’ll bring food in for you and take no money for it and help you with language issues and general living hurdles that you need to jump through just to survive daily living here in China (believe me it’s a big old list and I’m still ploughing through). For me, it’s wonderful. I’m away from home and I already feel like a successful adoptee and it makes the experience so much easier and more pleasurable to have people around you that you know would help you at the drop of a hat. Of course, they seem continuously surprised when I return the favour because the generosity is apparently only supposed to go one way. But you all know that’s not something I can comfortably live with and so instead of denying their generosity and turning them down, which would be rude and insulting, I simply find another way of repaying their kindness. This is a great feeling because it’s always met with much surprise and appreciation :)

So, returning to personal space for a moment, I have also found this to be affectionately ignored between friends. Now I would consider myself a pretty tactile person but this has definitely caught me by surprise once or twice, like the time when a girl I knew ran at me and threw herself at me fully trusting that I would catch her and put her into a full on 'husband carrying wife over the threshold’ kind of lift! The last time I just about managed to get out of it … next time I may end up in hospital when I put my back out … when I told her this she laughed, settled for a hug and went on her merry way. Oh yes, didn’t mention this all took place at SCHOOL!

My work friends like to braid hair, share food, take Snapchat filter selfies, sing and laugh … yes I know what you’re thinking … it sounds like Rachael would fit in pretty well there and you’d be right. I am definitely guilty of encouraging the chatter, the singing and the laughter in the office. In the midst of some serious lesson planning of course :)

[tipsycad147]

Five hard truths about magick

Posted by Michelle Gruben on Mar 29, 2019

Of the many laws of magick, there are a few that you’ll never see on a T-shirt or affirmation board. Here, we’ll cover some of the tough stuff: The harsh, the unsettling, the ambiguous facts of living an enchanted life.

This article was inspired by some recent discussions of false positivity—that is, the habitual repetition of encouraging words and images. In short, false positivity means well, but it does harm by shutting down discussion of anything problematic. You can’t hide the truth forever—and when you try, it seeps out in sneaky and unexpected ways.

There are certain aspects of magick that are difficult to come to terms with. The purpose of airing them is not to discourage anyone from their path, but to counter some of the shallow advice and empty promises that the witchy blogosphere churns out.

It’s time for some straight talk about magick—some Swords to go with your Cups, some Rue with your Roses.

1. It's not for everybody.

Can anyone become a Witch? Any honest answer to this question is complicated. In some ways, yes—the magickal arts are open to all who seek them. In other ways, no. Some people lack the gifts, the learning—but most often, the dedication—to become effective practitioners of the Craft.

These two are the fundamental magickal skills: The ability to alter reality through will. And, the ability to perceive things beyond the normal senses. These experiences are part of our natural state of being. They are, in a sense, the birthright of every conscious creature.

Yet these abilities are constrained on our earthly plane and must be located and cultivated. You need a strong will to accomplish this. It takes repetition. It takes humility. It often requires help from others—partners, spirits, plants, disparate parts of self—whose cooperation you must earn.

In short, excelling in magick is just like excelling in business or music or athletics. Not every aspirant will have what it takes. Talent only gets you so far. Hard work isn’t always enough. Sometimes you do everything right and still don’t get the results you want.

It’s not easy. It’s not for everyone (or at least, not all of the time).

2. Real witchcraft isn't photogenic.

Thick black eyeliner, a bespoke cloak, moon tattoos, and a table full of Amethysts—that’s what magick is made of, right? Sure, if you believe the internet. Like so many other things, witchcraft has been co-opted in recent years by lifestyle bloggers and taste makers, advertisers and influences. Super-stylish, just-edgy-enough witchy pics go hand-in-hand with the idea that magick is a piece of cake.

What’s wrong with enjoying all these highly preformative images of witchcraft? Nothing! There’s no reason a person can’t be genuinely magickal and also extremely good at self-presentation. Visual art is a kind of magick, too. However, let’s not make the mistake of confusing Instagram witches with the real thing.

It’s even possible for personal magick and social media to work at cross-purposes. Oversharing violates the principle of magickal silence—the idea that talking about your workings can dilute or disperse their energy. People who endlessly photograph their working tools, altars, and ritual garments are arguably siphoning off some of their power for the sake of likes and followers.

Thinking back about the most powerful magick I’ve witnessed, much of it has been in the dark, among old or shabbily dressed people, with nary a smartphone in sight. The most eye-opening books I own are crappy dog-eared paperbacks that would look terrible in a tableau with a crystal pendant and a sprig of Rosemary. Pinterest offers no altar porn for the third eye…you’ll have to find those goodies on your own.

3. Magick is dangerous.

The Satanic Panic of the 1990s was in full swing when I first embarked on my magickal studies. The media often reported on the addiction, insanity, and death that were the obvious consequences of dabbling in the occult. Religious tracts and books warned against the dangers of “gateway” activities like drum circles and Harry Potter books. I used to hoard these writings and snicker at them. What a quaint idea—that devils stalk the earth, seeking the ruin of souls through Ouija boards and zodiac pendants!

With more experience, I see a grain of truth in those zealous warnings. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies out there, folks. Different magicians have different opinions about whether spirit entities have an external reality or only dwell within the mind of the magick worker. I can’t prove it either way, of course. But my own instinct says that entities are real, they have independent consciousness, and not all of them have your best interests in mind.

Not scared of spirits? Fine—let’s go to the energy model of magick. Playing with spiritual technologies—meditation, invocation, astral travel—can cause extreme and rapid shifts in your energy body. They can wreck your appetite and mess with your sex life. They can effect changes in your mood and sleep cycle that will disrupt every aspect of your daily existence.

Other hazards of the occult are more pedestrian: You can become arrogant (common!). You can turn into a colossal bore who only talks to plants (and even the plants wish you would shut up). You can invite the scorn of people who don’t approve of your path, people who formerly respected you. It’s hard to keep your spiritual and mundane lives in balance—but it’s absolutely necessary if you want to make magick a lifelong quest.

Anything worthwhile carries some risk. With magick, we are talking about nothing less than the rapid evolution of the soul…so it only makes sense than the risks would be commensurate with the reward. Only you can weigh the dangers and decide if it’s worth doing. (See #1: It’s not for everybody.)

4. You (probably) need tools for effective spellwork.

“Cast spells without tools!”

“The secret of mental magick!”

“Advanced witchcraft!”

There’s a whole slew of authors and teachers offering instruction in tool-less spellcraft. And yeah, technically they’re correct: The only tool you really need is your focused, unadulterated Will.

But therein lies the problem. How many of us actually possess a focused, unadulterated Will? We’re human! Our thoughts are always mixed with distractions, mental noise, memories, and misgivings. Magick without tools is theoretically do-able…but in practice, it’s rarely as effective.

It’s true that intention is the most important component in spellwork. It’s true, also, that the more practised you become with certain skills (visualisation and trance induction), the less you tend to rely on the externals. However…

Magickal tools—and I’m not just saying this as a shop owner—tools play a very important role. Several roles, actually. That’s why Witches—yes, even “advanced” ones, have employed them for centuries.

What do tools accomplish that thoughts alone do not? Here’s a sampling:

1. Anchoring: Tools link your intention in the physical plane (which is where you want the results to manifest, right?) Most magick spells can be conceived as a kind of cycle—from earthly need to thought/will and back to physical action. Tools complete the loop by grounding your petition in the present time and place.

2. Distraction: Tools subvert the less-magickal parts of the brain (mental chatter, worries, skepticism) by engaging the older, more primal parts. Tying knots, lighting incense, and dressing candles are all classic ways to activate spells. You could say these actions let your magickal self do its work by keeping the mind and body busy.

3. Correspondence: Spell ingredients like herbs and candles contribute allied energies to your spell. The magickal brain is both literal and sensual. To a person who is very familiar with lemons, the thought of a lemon is enough to invoke Solar energy. But if you have an actual lemon—bright and yellow and soaked in the summer sun—that’s better, you know? I refer to Randall Garrett’s maxim: “The best symbol for a sharp knife is a sharp knife.”

4. Effort: The extra work of using tools is a gatekeeper that separates the worthy spells from the unworthy ones. When you go through the trouble to acquire and prepare materials, you’re signalling to your unconscious that this spell actually matters—and that will generally translate to better results.

Magickal tools don’t have to be complicated, and they don’t have to be expensive. (See our list of cheap and free witchcraft tools.) A candle and some oil. A pen and a piece of paper. Keep it focused: An over-encumbered spell is just as a bad as a flimsy one.

Unless you are a super-adept—like, the kind of master that comes along once in a zillion years—you probably can’t just speak or dream your desires into being. Spells without tools are more akin to…wishes. It’s fun to make a wish, but they usually don’t come true on their own.

5. There are no experts.

“We’re all apprentices in a craft where no one becomes a master.” Ernest Hemingway was referring to writing, but the same can certainly be said of the metaphysical arts.

Magick is a vast and mysterious topic. There’s a natural instinct to look up to people who have been at it longer than you, or who seem to be more sure of themselves. But while some people are objectively more accomplished, there’s nobody who’s got it all figured out. We are all grappling with the inexplicable mystery of consciousness. We are all grasping at forms we can’t possibly see the shape of.

It’s scary to realise that everybody else is basically flying blind. But it’s liberating, too. When you stop relying on others to show you the way, you can begin to truly explore your own power.

And there you have it...five tough nuggets. I don't expect that this will become one of my most popular blog posts ever, but I'm happy that I published it. What are your hard-won magickal truths? Share with other readers in the comments!

https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/five-hard-truths-about-magick

[usertoxicyaoi]

'me and daf analysed all of yousef's dialogue last friday and we found out so many new things that just do not add up at all' what things??? I'm curious,please share,Faiza!!

Not really a question: But i feel you with the suspicion on Yousefs story about Even, something doesn’t seem right with how he is describing Mikael and what we have seen from Mikael as of now!!!! Maybe im reaching but i need answers!!!

faiza! hello! please elaborate on the inconsistencies in mikael’s behavior & yousef’s story because i am seeing a ton but feel like i’m going cray because everyone’s talking about the even part and no one’s talking about these! (i really hope they’re not slips in the writing tho lol.)

Hi, Anon!

So, I’ve gotten 3 asks in one go, and me and Daf - @josteninski - are on IM right now, and Daf is literally telling me, “Faiza. Do it.” … So, here we go. 

Me and Daf were on the phone yesterday for like … 3 whole hours? about this. But, urm, yeah, Yousef’s choice of words, and dialogues last Friday. Something’s not adding up.

So 3 lines we focused on were these, particularly the bold bits:

You know Even? The guy we used to hang with? I think he’s gay.. Because he tried to kiss Mikael and Mikael is really religious, so he totally flipped out and was really out of it. So it turned into.. Even like trying to cure himself by reading the Quran. And it ended up with him posting different verses from the Quran where it said like.. gay people go to hell. You know he.. tried to kill himself? So I just feel like Islam.. Or religion in general.. Just creates a lot of anxiety in people. 

Sorry, I don’t know. I personally feel like I’ve taken the best of the religion and thrown away the rest.

If religion is so good, why does it split society?

And now I want you to focus on Mikael, who “was religious”.

Mikael drinks.

Mikael wears nail polish.

Mikael who is completely okay with being physically affectionate with the boys in the balloon squad, even out open in public.

Mikael who talks about polygamy.

Mikael who has on a couple of occasions, used sign language.

Mikael who still has Even’s phone number.

So, Yousef starts off by saying to Sana, “You know Even? The guy we used to hang out with?” … like, if The Balloon Squad used to hang out at Sana’s place, then … of course, Sana would know Even! She wouldn’t forget Even, she wouldn’t need reminding of Even being “the guy we used to hang out with” … which seems a bit … distant? For Yousef to call Even “the guy we used to hang out with”, because I’m pretty certain he was a lot more than just “a guy they used to hang out with”, they were all friends, part of a circle. Notice how Even called The Balloon Squad, “the boys”, when he asked Sana, “how are the boys”, and Yousef calls Even, “the guy we used to hang out with” … like Even holds them so dear to him, but Yousef seems so distant in calling Even a friend, or a part of them, and instead calls Even “the guy we used to hang out with” … something seems … odd about that.

Then, Yousef says, “I think he’s gay.” He thinks? So, the boys still don’t know about Even’s multiple gender attraction? Yousef “thinks” Even’s “gay”, so … Yousef is assuming here. Yousef is assuming that Even might be gay.

Which then leads onto the next big, perhaps the BIGGEST, most IMPORTANT word in this entire dialogue: “it turned into …. Even like, trying to /cure/ himself.” Notice how, based off this assumption that Yousef’s had that he thinks Even might be gay, Yousef is narrating THE ENTIRE STORY from the point of view OF HIS ASSUMPTION. Not Mikael’s assumption or POV, but YOUSEF’S OWN POV. That Yousef assuming Even might be gay “turned into” Even trying to “cure” himself by reading the Qur’aan. Yousef himself makes these links here, that … well, I think if Even is gay then that must have resulted in him trying to make himself better by reading the Qur’aan. 

Which, to be honest … is that true? Can he really speak for Even here? What if Even wasn’t trying to “cure” himself. What if Even GENUINELY wanted to read the Qur’aan, to gain some understanding? To feel closer to Mikael and the boys? What if Even just wanted to do that for reasons that may not be for “curing” himself? How can Yousef just … ASSUME all these things?, as he again, ASSUMES, when he says “so it ended up with him”. It’s basically Yousef trying to add all the pieces up here from what HE’S seen FROM HIS point of view.

Do you see where I’m going with this? It’s ALL based off, of HIS point of view.

And what is Yousef’s point of view, right now, on religion: that he DOESN’T believe in a religion. He doesn’t BELIEVE in Allah. 

Because “Islam, or religion in general, just creates a lot of anxiety in people”. People? Is he talking about Even here, or somebody else too? “People”,not just 1 person, i.e, Even, who this story is about, but people, more than one person. He means himself. He is the 2nd person here, making “person, into people”.

Do you see the projection here, Yousef is placing into this story? There are little bits, where he is inserting himself into the story, because it’s ALL BASED on what HE believes.

So, of COURSE, when Yousef pauses in between when he says “So it turned into […] Even, like, trying to cure himself”, Yousef is trying to find the best word to fit in and describe the situation, but he ultimately will only, and can only, describe the situation from HIS point of view. And so, keeping that in mind, it’s astonishing (but is it really), that the word that comes into Yousef’s mind to best fit and describe the situation is “cure”. Yousef could have just as easily have said “read”, but no, he used the word “cure”. Again, Yousef is projecting, and inserting himself into the narrative. Because, ultimately, what happened? Yousef became so anxious, that Yousef’s cure to the anxiety was to “take the best parts of the religion, and throw the rest away”, and that’s EXACTLY what “curing” means … curing means to get rid off the negative, and keep and improve on the positive. So, why project that onto Even for, then? 

And also, denouncing your faith. Denouncing your faith, is a HUGE HUGE deal. It’s not something that just happens overnight, or something you do based off of ONE event, especially if you’ve been born and raised within a practising, religious household. So, Yousef MUST have been thinking about this for a very, VERY long time, to the point where he must have been in a conflict of his OWN about religion vs no religion, and him literally trying to see what all the good bits about religion are, against what all the not good bits about religion are. Yousef in HIMSELF was trying to find a cure for HIS anxiety about this whole issue, and I feel like whatever happened with Even, was the final straw, the last nail in the coffin, that thing that sealed the deal for him, that, yeah … i can’t be doing this anymore. 

There is SO much projection here of Yousef, and of HIMSELF and HIS experiences and HIS POINT OF VIEW, that shapes the ENTIRE narrative of the story based on how HE saw it, based on HIS agnostic/atheistic non religious beliefs. So, of COURSE, Yousef would find the word “cure” to be the fitting one here, for him to think it is the best word to explain the situation as to why this made Even do this thing which then made Even do that thing.

But, again, how can he just speak for Even, like that? How does he KNOW? 

And then, perhaps, comes the most contradictory statement from Yousef from the entire night. So, all this time, Yousef’s been saying “he’s take the best part out of religion”, so he agrees, that religion does indeed have some good parts to it, but then, he says “if religion is so good” … which, doesn’t make sense? Because only a while ago, you just said that religion in fact is so good, in fact, the best, in certain key parts, so much so, that you decided to take those parts, which you agreed were in the religion, and implemented them into your life. So now, why all of a sudden, is he saying this, religion isn’t all that good? That religion isn’t so good.

And then there’s that battle 2015 pic …. why “battle” … if both Yousef and Even were friends, or “guys that used to hang out with each other”, why battle over something for?

And then, if we go back to the words Yousef uses, “then then turned into,” “it ended up with” … so what happened in between the points “A to B, from where things turned”? And so if something “ended up” with something happening, then what about the “start and middle” of those things? And how long before or after did the suicide attempt happen? 

So, in short, what else is there that we are not being told? Because we, for SURE, are not being told the full story at all.

Because, I see Mikael now, and …………. I just … cannot understand how he went from, as YOUSEF described, “being TOTALLY freaked out and distant”, to becoming a guy wearing nail polish, who, if he was so insensitive, is shown to be repeatedly using sign language, and still having the phone number of his best friend who made a pass at him that he then “freaked out” from and “became distant” to, whilst going from being so religion, to now drinking openly? To going from being so “freaked out”, to now being completely fine in being openly affection with boys in public, on the road! 

So … where/how/when did THAT happen?

There’s … stuff, not adding up here. Stuff, we’re very clearly not being told here.