#like what is happening why is it both so damn slow and also really rushed

[the-bi-space-ace]

I’m not main tagging this bc I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum but I’m really confused by the pacing of S3 and I’m just kind of… lost? Like everything is both a lot and also not at all? I already knew things were happening bc of the trailer so it’s not really surprising? And I’m also confused about how in 4 episodes it’ll all wrap up in a satisfying way?

I’m just sitting here like this:

[amywritesthings]

silver underground. | chapter 23

( Read on AO3 )

Pairing: levi ackerman x f!reader (attack on titan / shingeki no kyojin) Word Count: 4.6k Summary: the night of day 163 - also known as the final confession

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI - angst, mentions of death, sensuality, levi is sad(tm) but we are finally giving him what he needs! Credits: dividers by @saradika-graphics

Previous Chapter. / Next Chapter. | Masterlist.

As soon as Captain Levi hauls himself upright on the saddle of his horse, he’s gone.

Like a bat out of hell, his horse takes off towards the direction of the old Survey Corps headquarters.

Dust and dirt from the hasty exit licks at the tip of your boots.

The rest of the Levi squad had only finished settling on their own horses, with you the last to remain on the forest floor.

“He seems eager to get back,” Petra states with a slow apprehension to her tone.

Oluo grunts in reply, and you know.

You can feel his eyes locked onto the back of your skull.

Asking—

What happened between the two of you? 

Why do you remember the outcome of the last mission? 

What aren’t you telling us?

The myriad of questions are not lost on you, because you ask them yourself.

After all, you were barely given a chance to explain.

To understand.

Even before the rest of Levi squad made it to the fall site, the tension between you and Levi was palpable.

The way Levi stared at you, held you, in the aftermath.

Trapped between the before times and what you’ve been reduced to before his very eyes —

“James, are you good?” Gunther asks, softer this time, but it's all white noise.

Figure out if you mean it.

If you really do remember — any of this.

Levi's voice is the only one registering in your mind.

If you think you know me, then say it with your whole damn chest and hold nothing back.

You do. You know him.

Captain Levi.

Child of the Underground.

Captain of the Special Operations Squad.

Though you know him as something else; something profound; something too devastating to lose.

The one who almost got away.

Before you can say a word, your body moves on autopilot: you shove your foot into a worn stirrup and jump up and onto your horse with the reins gripped in both hands.

Snapping them with newfound urgency, you leave the remaining members of your squad behind to bridge the gap between you and Levi.

Go.

Wind sweeps your emerald cloak like wings behind you as you ride, urging you horse faster, faster, faster—

And you inhale.

The more that you breathe, the more that you push yourself forward, your body feels less like a foreign entity. 

Your fingers flex without a detached delay. 

The leather against your palm feels right, like—

…like you’ve finally woken up on the right side of the bed again.

By the time you reach the headquarter courtyard, his midnight horse is already tied to a banister at the stable.

In a rushed dismount from your saddle, your shaking hands hurriedly tie the knot around the same banister and rush towards the open doors.

As you run inside your shoes switch from crunch to click, from dirt to concrete floor.

The sky, once swirling in uncertain grays, opens to a light rain. 

An incoming storm echoes through cavernous hallways, turning grayed stone to black.

Everywhere you look, he isn’t there — the foyer, the rest areas, the abandoned offices —

"C'mon, c'mon..."

As you turn the corner towards the kitchen, your eager ears pick up the leisure pace of two sets of boots.

You move faster, hoping to see that familiar head of raven hair.

To your surprise, you find Hange and Moblit at the very end of the corridor chatting after a meal. 

When they notice your arrival, Moblit gives a little half-smile of recognition while the Section Commander holds out their arms, eager to greet you.

“Hey, hey! She’s back from all the action!” Hange yelps with excitement. “Now tell me, how—”

“Where’s Levi?”

Your sharp question interrupts Hange’s cheerful greeting.

In this light, Hange appears so much clearer to you. Gone is the fuzzy confusion; their outline now just as sharp as their wit and wonder.

(Something like a found safe space, warm and comforting.)

“Levi?” they question. “Huh, I didn’t think he was back.”

So they don’t know yet.

He didn’t say anything.

But he's here, you know he made it back here—

Urgently, you step towards the two.

“I need to know where he is. It’s urgent.”

“Did something happen?” Moblit gently presses.

“I remember,” you state, as if that’ll explain anything. They blink in tandem. “I don’t know how, but it—”

Your hand rises to your mouth, covering it and giving yourself a moment to think.

Except the problem is that you need to say it — thinking, second guessing, slows this down.

Focus.

Your hand drops, and your voice says the first thing that comes to mind.

“Hange — you and I once drank Moblit so horrendously under the table that he was bedridden for two days.” 

Hange’s boot squeaks against the floor in an echo as they stop dead in their tracks. 

“And whenever we meet in the city, Moblit and I order dumplings from that one nice old woman just outside the hospital. I think — you get the most basic order and always make sure to bring something back for Hange.”

Moblit’s eyes shoot wide. “Whoa, that—”

You hold a hand out to placate Hange, who looks like they’re two seconds away from screeching with elation.

“I can’t explain to you know I know all of this, and I don’t have time to figure that out right now. It’s just sort of word-vomiting out of my damn mouth the longer I let myself talk — so I don’t want to stop talking, and I’ll figure out the details and the rest with the two of you later, but it—”

It could disappear at any minute.

You can’t breathe.

It’s so hard to breathe, but do your best to gulp an inhale anyway.

“Please, just… I need – to talk – to Levi.”

Before I forget again.

Before he thinks I’ve forgotten him all over again.

Both Hange and Moblit stare in a haze of surprise.

By the time you open your mouth to plead a third time, Hange holds up a hand. 

Their expression darkens with a seriousness they so rarely possess.

“If he’s not by Erwin’s office or with us, then chances are he’s in his bedroom."

His bedroom.

Relief floods your system.

“Right,” you exhale, jolted by adrenaline. “Thanks, Hange.”

With that, you speed off in the opposite direction.

Up the stairwell.

Down the hallway.

Be here, be here, be here.

Fist raised, you lunge forward towards the wooden door—

Yet the door opens freely, and you’re trapped staring into the eyes of Levi Ackerman.

He blinks away his surprise to that evergreen mask of indifference — resignation? 

There’s no edge to his shoulders. They’re sagged.

Lowering your fist, you’re met with silence. 

(You’ve come to hate silence more than anything.)

So you speak first.

“Can we please—”

“Yeah.”

No pleas heard. No begging to be done.

“Yeah, might as well.”

Levi simply agrees.

The hand gripping the edge pulls the door towards him, conceding with an invitation inside.

Terrified doesn’t even begin to cover it — you push your way through, only to pause when your mind begins to recognize just how familiar this room feels with the light dance of rain outside an open window. 

Everything is so neat. Clean.

(And in the back of your mind, a voice says it’s exactly how you left it.)

The door locks shut, and the rest of the world ceases to exist.

Levi casually walks past you, pulling a chair from his desk and flipping it to face his bed.

He sinks down onto it, knees spread apart while his arm rests casually over the back.

“Start, then.”

His voice is guarded, shortened, as his eyes watch you from under wet, black fringe.

You stare, twisting your fingers around and against each other to self-soothe your nerves.

Your nostrils expand as you muster the courage to speak.

Yet when you do, your voice is smaller.

(So much could go wrong in one single moment.)

“I’ll start, just…"

"Just what?"

"Don’t shut me out.”

His eyes narrow. “I told you I wouldn’t.”

“I know, but this is different,” you argue weakly, wetting your lips.

“Try me,” he flatly goads. “I told you from the beginning—”

“—that you weren’t going to hand us our memories, fuck, I know already,” you bite to chomp off the rest of his statement, tired of hearing him push further distance between you. “Let me talk this bullshit out at you, alright? Not with you — but at you. Because the more I talk, the more things come back — it’s like my fucking unconsciousness is working faster than the rest of my body.”

His jaw clenches, but he says nothing.

When a few moments have passed, you take several steps forward to meet him — but turn to sit on the edge of his bed.

(Like you know belong there.)

He stops moving entirely, brow knit as he watches you descend.

Start, then.

“Before everyone swooped in, I told you that I thought I knew who I was. But… the more time goes by, it isn't a maybe anymore."

Your eyes remain on your hands, noting the calluses and age-old lines of scars across your fingers and palms. 

"And the longer time goes on, the more I talk, it becomes so much clearer."

Remember.

“I never knew my birth mother,” you continue, “not really. As far I know, she died when I was small. A lot of the details are still fuzzy, but some other sick bastard took her place. I think it's so hazy because there’s not much to remember about her. Mother... cared only about winning money."

Lost in your own thoughts, you drop your chin to your chest and exhale.

"I might have had siblings. None of them actually looked like me. They were just... stuck, too. And so many of them died."

All nameless faces.

All battle fodder for the almighty coin.

“I knew that the only way to live was to fight, so I fought. Hard. Every damn day until I couldn't stand on my two feet sometimes. That’s how we met.”

When you lift your eyes to stare him, he doesn’t react.

His nostrils flare in a twitch, but Levi remains in control of himself.

“My mother pit us against each other for money,” you continue softly. “That’s why I kept seeing this small, skinny boy in my dreams at a pub. For weeks, over and over, it was you. I gave you food — I wanted a friend. And…” 

You trail off, chewing on your next words very carefully. 

“And you gave me that. A friend. A chance to join your gang and live a life that was mine.”

Absently, your hand raises from your lap to your neck.

In the hopes of quelling your budding anxiety, your fingertip runs along the delicate silver chain at your sternum.

An old habit that won’t die, even in a state of memory loss.

Yet you catch him, right as it happens:

Levi’s hardened eyes shamelessly drop from yours — to stare at your fingers.

Your fingertip dips and circles the gray gem, mindful of its smooth texture.

Moments pass.

His eyes do not lift.

A familiar warmth spreads through your chest.

“My necklace.”

Then his eyes raise, as if suddenly aware of where he’s staring. 

“You gave it to me, didn’t you?”

You see him in your mind’s eye: a younger version of Levi sitting there, embarrassed to be offering such a delicate, sentimental gift to another person.

His gangly, teenage self overlaps the exhausted, battle-worn Levi across from you in his chair.

Both fighting.

Both surviving.

You feel so small as you try to remember the finite detail. Hitting a wall the longer the silence stretches, you're unable to pinpoint the exact memory.

Your nose scrunches in frustration, searching for that train of thought like a life line. 

“It was for my fifteenth— No, maybe my seventeenth—”

“Eighteenth.”

His voice is barely a murmur. 

Levi’s eyes do not leave your face.

“It was your eighteenth birthday.”

He manages to capture the memory eluding you before it can float away and dissolve to the wind.

A smile loaded with relief passes your lips.

It’s only a small nudge in the right direction, but it’s all you need for the memory to blossom like a flower on the surface in Spring.

The image of yesteryear blooms— 

White, billowing sleeves rolled to his elbows.

A cinched vest kept his clothes from flying off his small frame.

“With a lot of alcohol.”

“Yeah.”

“And a lot of extra cleaning the next morning.”

He exhales, slow and drawn out. “Something like that.”

You inhale sharply through your nose, emotions overwhelming you.

“Ever since Hange gave the necklace back to me, I can’t help but touch it any time I feel stressed or panicked. It’s like all of those bad feelings, they… go away. Disappear like the way titans do.”

Worries, gone like ash.

A ghostlike sensation runs against your lips, forcing you to reach and run along their seam.

Even if it's far away, you see it: a tilted head; black fringe.

Even now, you feel it: his lips so close; eyes wandering; the loss of reason.

“And you… you kissed me that day.”

Your first.

Both of your firsts.

When you smile, you notice then: his knuckles against the back of the chair turn translucent white.

“Wrong,” the captain tightly states.

Wait.

You freeze, fear settling in your belly.

“What?” you question. “But... but you did.”

He’s gripping the wooden backing so hard it could snap.

“I didn’t,” he forces out. “...you kissed me.”

Oh.

Oh. 

He’s not shutting you out.

Elation sweeps over your mind like a soothing balm as memories of pawing hands and inexperienced desire enters the forefront—

Finally clear as day.

Do you regret it, his voice whispers in the abyss.

“I never regretted that,” you reassure him, like you can finally answer him with absolute honesty. “Though technically you leaned in, and I ran with it.”

He huffs in disbelief. "Yeah?"

You smile with certainty. "Yeah."

Kisses between you two were just the tip of the iceberg. You know that now. 

You’ve seen it, felt it, tasted it—

In this very bedroom.

After a pause, the captain’s voice comes out strained.

“Of all the damn memories, that’s the one that stands out?”

You can’t help but huff with exhausted amusement.

“It isn’t the only one," you reply. "There are a million fragments I’m still piecing together and not everything makes sense, but there are some things that are just so vivid to me now. like…”

“Like?”

“Like our friends.”

Emotion flickers across his expression as he sits up further.

It’s like he’s been waiting to hear the names of your deceased comrades on your lips.

“You remember—”

“Isabel,” you whisper. “And Furlan. Yeah, it’s… bits and pieces just like everything else, but we grew up with them. I remember how we'd all spend hours zipping around that damn stolen ODM gear like we owned the joint. Somehow four kids managed to make an entire home in the Underground. And I wasn’t — I couldn’t be there when they—”

Profound sadness hits you like a ton of bricks, clipping your words.

I couldn't be there when they died.

The picture isn't complete, but you remember the sinking feeling in your belly when he had told you. So much time had gone by — you can vaguely pick out Isabel's wild red hair and recall thinking maybe the sun looked just like that. Furlan's infectious, warm laugh echoes in the back of your mind.

And you nearly joined them as a memory.

(No wonder why Levi was so angry with you at the start of it all.)

The rain continues to tap against the stone walls outside as another stretch of silence befalls the room.

One of Levi’s hands reaches for his face and runs down the length of it, tugging the skin as he goes.

His eyes drop to the floor, his dampened fringe shielding them from view.

“Un-fucking-believable…”

Your brow furrows.

“What?”

“This.”

That same hand sweeps a frustrated gesture between the two of you.

“This shouldn’t be possible,” he grunts. “You hit your goddamn head almost a year ago and — and you nearly did the same fucking thing again today, and you’re telling me that’s all it took to suddenly wake you up?”

The harshness of his words cause you to rear your head back. 

Hange nearly ran to you with open arms when you told them you remembered.

You had thought perhaps Levi would do the same once you had proven your mind to him.

Yet he’s reluctant.

Angry.

“That isn’t what I’m saying,” you retort, narrowing your gaze. “I tried telling you months ago that my memories were fragmented, but you didn’t want to hear it. What, were you hoping I wouldn’t remember?”

Instantly his eyes are back on you. “I didn’t say that.”

“It sure feels like that, Levi,” you snip. “Was it because of our fight?”

The whites of his eyes explode.

“Our what?”

“Before we went on the last expedition,” you clarify under your breath. “When you tried sidelining me with counsel to Erwin. I asked you why you didn’t trust me to fight at your side, but it wasn’t that you didn’t trust me.”

What is the excuse you always, always, use?

It was such a vicious question in the heat of the moment.

Levi doesn’t hide his surprise this time.

Although he doesn’t answer your question, you can see it:

The same turmoil that pushed him to the brink of shouting, coming back to haunt him.

Because if I lose you this time, then that’s it!

The rattle of the storm increases in volume right outside his open window, billowing the sheer curtains from the wall.

You promised.

You promised him so many things that day.

Nothing will happen to me.

I’m not going anywhere.

“I won’t die on you, right?” you say to yourself, as if in a daze — trapped between the present and the past. “Because if I did, you’d drag my ass from Hell yourself.”

His face twists, contorts in pain, only for a second.

He catches himself at the precipice before he can truly react, swallowing it down—

And then it hits.

You understand what he isn't saying.

“You haven't stopped blaming yourself,” you realize out loud in a bewildered whisper. “Even after saving my ass a second time, you're still holding onto that guilt like it was a choice you had made instead of me.”

You stand abruptly from the bed and cross the room towards him.

Levi immediately jumps out of his chair like a cat that’s been dunked in water, terrified you’ll push him back under.

No matter how compelled you are to be near him, he repels. 

“It wasn't your fault,” you urge, softer this time. “Look at me. Levi — it wasn't your fault.”

His bluish-gray eyes narrow in defense. “Don’t start this—”

“When I fell—”

“No.”

“Levi,” you chastise. “You said we could talk.”

“I did,” he hotly retorts. “Not about that day.”

The air in the room shifts.

“Anything but that day,” he repeats, softer this time. “Please. I just —”

Struggling with what he wishes to say, his chin drops to his chest.

“...despite all my best efforts, despite whatever plans I put in place, I watched you fall in the same shitty forest not once, but twice, like it's a sick fucking dream I get to repeat over and over until I learn.”

All of your facial muscles smooth with sadness. “Except there wasn't anything to learn because you did nothing wrong. Levi, you caught me.”

“But not the first time,” he says simply. “Not when it mattered.”

The way he speaks about himself…

Humanity’s Strongest, reduced to one perceived failure, as if he could rewrite history and control your mistakes. 

Timidly you slide a boot forward, testing his resolve. 

Levi doesn’t move. His head remains bowed.

“You have spent months punishing yourself for something that I chose to do,” you urge under your breath in a damn-near plea. “What is it that Erwin tells us to do? Dedicate our hearts?"

"Don't use that shit against me, James," he warns.

Raising your hands in surrender, you shake your head wildly. "I'm not. Believe me, I'm not, but you need to understand it was my choice. I wanted to save the others. I wanted my life to matter."

You see his jaw clench like he's forcing himself to hold back what he wants to say.

You step another boot forward.

"Six months ago when I first saw you in that hospital wing in Trost, when you tried to rile me up, it was—”

“An error in judgment," he interrupts.

“Exactly what I needed,” you finish over him. 

His head lifts. 

You meet, eye to eye.

“I couldn’t understand why I was so transfixed by you,” you continue softly with the utmost sincerity, hoping he will hear you out. “You walked out of that room and all I wanted was to know you. To understand you, like you held this invisible key this entire time that could unlock whatever the hell it was that I was missing. But all you ever did was pull away from me, hide from me, trying to convince me you were some villain in my life—”

“James.” 

Abruptly Levi steps forward as if ready to walk straight through you—

—like you’re nothing but a ghost’s apparition.

Instead he is met with living, breathing warmth. 

Your eyes can’t leave when his breath tickles the skin of your face.

Levi stares back, entranced by the color of your eyes.

Infected, plagued, by the reality that stands before you both.

One false move, and it’ll be a repeat of the conversation in the tree tops that made him retreat.

“I have tried to keep you safe almost my entire life," Levi murmurs, and you can practically feel the vibrations of his voice rocking through your body.

“And you did.”

“I didn’t.”

“Levi, you—”

“I pushed you into danger—”

“Pushed?”

“—and I am sorry—”

Your hand shoots out, turning his cheek to look you dead in the eye. 

“Stop it.”

Levi freezes, looking so much more uncertain now that he did ten minutes ago.

“Stop," you repeat with exasperation. “You're not listening to me. I'm here. I'm right here.”

He swallows to coat his throat, motion thick. His neck bobs.

"I don't know how else to convince you it isn't a fluke," you continue, voice cracking. "You won't let yourself see me. You won't let yourself believe I'm not dead. Levi—"

And just when you think you’ve lost him—

He turns towards the warmth.

His cheek nuzzles your open palm, eyes wearily slipping shut, as if helpless to do so.

You’re holding the first face you remember and the last face you’ve seen —

The partner you left in the forest so long ago.

The man that wants more than he’ll ever allow himself to take.

Levi's confession is barely audible:

“...I don't want it to be too good to be true again."

The floorboard creaks as his foot shifts towards you, angling himself towards you. 

He inhales slowly through his nose, relishing in a private thought, before shaking his head. His hair nearly tickles your forehead.

When he doesn't open his eyes, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

If he won't see you—

Slowly, cautiously, you reach for his hand until yours curls over it.

At first his fingers flinch in your grasp, his blue-gray eyes snapping wide to watch.

Then eventually they relax, surrendering.

Higher and higher, you skim it past your ribcage and pull it up to your left breast. 

His arm tenses, eyes shooting wide. 

You remain relaxed. Focused.

“What is it you feel?” 

“I don’t under—” 

“Just… pause, for once in your life, and tell me what it is you feel.” 

You press his palm harder against your chest, your heart hammering beneath your skin. 

“Please.”

Albeit apprehensive, Levi doesn’t move away. 

His eyes dart to your lips, your sternum, until they lock onto your joined hands.

“You.”

Strained — he chokes on his response.

“I feel… you.”

As if pulled by gravity Levi steadily leans closer, brushing your nose with his.

His jaw clenches, the muscles taut in his mouth, before his palm flattens of his volition against your chest.

Your eyes flutter, relishing in his proximity.

You turn to him, seeking out his body heat.

For the first time in months, you feel it with such certainty.

Familiarity.

His free hand rises to your cheek, cupping the side of your face.

You suck in a sharp breath between parted lips, and he makes a small noise like he’s agonized over being apart from you.

“Every time that I’ve been given the choice, I always choose you,” you confess softly, a mere whisper. “I run right towards you even when I don’t know you. You are the only thing that has ever made sense to me in this world.”

There — you memorize the slide of his calloused palm, running gently along the height of your cheekbone.

Slow, as if mesmerized by your skin’s softness.

Shakily, you continue and choose the point of no return.

“Tell me you don't want me anymore, and I’ll stop running to you. If I have somehow misjudged you and what you might still feel—”

“Say it.”

Levi’s voice engulfs you — the heavy baritone, barely touching your lips.

His expression darkens like he wrestles with two separate trains of thought.

Conflict etched in his brow, he swallows once more and speaks with a tenderness you only remember in dreams.

“Say you remember me.”

After all this time, you've waited for the puzzle to connect.

The pieces that were once scattered now sew themselves together; anew.

He asks without asking.

You answer without uncertainty.

“I remember you.”

As if mesmerized by the curves of your body, Levi’s hand glides from your chest up your throat—

Until his fingers cradle the back of your head.

His other hand remains on the side of your face, holding you as though you could turn into water at any moment.

"Say it again."

You don't hesitate to obey his command.

"I remember you."

To make your point, you turn your chin into his hand — eyes locked — to press a gentle kiss to his palm.

He nearly hisses from the physical contact.

"Again."

Levi's breath slides into your mouth like a phantom kiss of his own.

(Touch starved after so many months apart.)

“I remember you, Levi Ackerman. I remember you, I remember you, I remember—”

You stop talking when he leans in, lips barely brushing yours. 

Your breath halts. 

His is ragged. Soft.

Then he speaks, as if to pray after a long night of war:

“Dirty trick."

That’s all it takes.

Levi reaches out whip-fast, using the palm against your skull to pull you into a searing, life-altering, mind-numbing kiss. 

You go pliant against him, melting like candle wax, willing to take anything he’ll give.

Lips press and pull, his breath hot on your tongue.

His hands search you as if he doesn't know where to touch first — your face, your neck, your shoulder — until he decides to loop his forearm at the small of your back to dip and lift you without ever breaking the kiss.

Your jump until your knees bracket his hips, and he pulls you flush to his body.

Levi hastily kicks the chair out of his way to carry you directly to his bed.

And after all this time, you feel it — know it — remember it.

The absence dissipates.

The world finally starts to turn.

You have found your way home.

.

author's note:

...hehe. So how are we feeling, Levi Nation? Let me know in the comments!

Thank you for your patience as I took a little break this summer to write some modern!Levi with Press Four for More Options. To readers old and new, I am so grateful for your encouragement and support. (Every reblog gives this writer wings.)

[scholastic-dragon]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! ✨

I love your writing and when I saw your birthday post I was so psyched!

Would you please write something about the turtles (Bayverse or ROTTMNT, your choice) and the worst time/ place they’ve gotten erect? Maybe how the deal with it? Why they got aroused in the first place? Let your mind run wild ;)

Sometimes your partner or crush just gets to you and you can’t control your desire ;>

• Female reader/ or what ever you’re comfortable writing for

• Developed or no developed relationship

•All the turtles or just one you really like to write for (up to you)

• A short story or head-canons work equally well

Essentially go with whatever you feel most comfortable writing for with the prompt! Thank you! And have fun /^v^/

Also here’s some birthday cake for the road! 🎂 🍰🧁🎉

HAHAHAHAHHAHA I love this

Erection Directions

I'm thinking bay!boys but either works

MINORS DNI - LOTS OF SEXY STUFF BELOW - TURTLES ARE 20+ IN THIS - DONT BE WEIRD

Leo

Well....you see.... it was patrol

It was a slow night, they weren't planning on going out, everyone's in a bad mood

And then you call

And he let's the guys take a break and sneaks off behind a secluded wall to answer the call

"Hey love, were on patrol is there somehting you need-"

"I think I need you to come over and fuck me,"

😳 (the turtle was too stunned to speak)

Swallows his tongue and has to clear his throat before responding.

You flirt and banter for a moment, then it becomes clear that your hand in inside your blue panties (that you sent a lewd picture of)

"Baby, I can't I'm on patrol" He responds after you ask for a video of his "achingly hard cock" as he put it

"How am I supposed to get off if I don't hear your pretty moans?" You tease

Damn

Peering around the wall, he unzips his pants and aims the camera at his hard cock. He catches the soft moan from his lips and his thumb rubbing precum along the shaft.

After a minute he stops recording and sends it your way. He hears your excited moan over the phone.

He grips himself harder.

"I wish you were here right now, inside me instead of my hand,"

That makes him stroke faster, your voice, the knowledge that he's doing this out in the cold night air spurring him on.

He feels his release getting closer, and he hears your responding moans.

"I'm gonna-"

"Oi, fearless!" Like the ass he is, raph comes around the corner.

Leo drops his phone in an attempt to cover himself. "Come on!" He yells.

Raph turns and yells, both to him and Donnie and Mikey. "I'm fucking done, I'm going home, fuck this!"

Donnie asks. "What happened?"

"He's fucking jerking it!" The red brute yells, making the other two start complaining.

"Whyd we even come out here?!"

"I had work to do that you made me put down!"

Leo scrambles on the ground, putting his hand over the microphone. "Patrols over, go home!" He simply yells

He sighs and tucks his own soft cock into his pants. He's upset and extremely embarrassed.

When he lifts the phone to his ear, he hears you laughing your ass off.

Raph

It was the weights room

He lives in there

And you, his new and flashy crush, are now also "living" in here

You claimed it was stupid to pay for a gym membership when you could simply hang out here

And because he's in love with you, he agreed

Now, he regrets it.

You're doing squats while holding a dumbell and the way your ass and thighs look right now should be illegal.

He's laying on the bench press, not even trying to be sneaky as he watches you go up....and down....and up.....and down

And now something else is up

Very up and not at all sneaky.

His head snaps to the ceiling, his hands shaking as he holds the bar above his head.

His heart is pounding hard. A lot like how hard he wants to pound you-

He shakes his head and the bar nearly comes crashing down on his face

"Raph!" You rush over and stand above his head, grabbing the bar around his fingers and lifting it (with his help)

And great, now he's got a view of the underside of your breasts, and the sweet sweaty skin of your bare stomach. Oh, and your delicious thighs are there too.

His cock pulses beneath his shorts.

"Are you okay?" You help him put the bar back, leaning over to look down at him.

Now he can see your cleavage.

"Um" He goes to answer but no words come out.

You sigh and straighten up, and your eyes rake down his body.

He tenses. Your eyes go wide and your cheeks flame.

Shit.

Donnie

Donnie was working under the truck

He's on a custom made rolling cart, his hips peeking out from under thr garbage truck.

He's got headphones on, listening to an audio book you recommended.

It's a romance and the characters just had their first kiss.

He's working and listening, not really paying attention.

"His lips traveled down her neck, making a spike of heat run down her body to her pussy"

Woah

He stopped working for a moment, swallowing hard and taking in what was happening.

The scene progressed and got dirtier and dirtier, to the point where he was aching and hard in his pants

It was late, no one was awake.

He rolled out from under the truck, wiped off his hands and undid his pants.

He tried to match the pace of the book, and man this person was doing a really good job on the voices

For a moment he imagined you and him fooling around like the characters were

His strokes became fast. Slick sounds filling the quiet garage

As the characters hit their peak, so did he, moaning softly and cumming in his hand, it spills down onto his chest and pants.

He sighs, opening his eyes and nearly passing out.

On the other side of the garage, your sitting with your hand in your pants, your lip caught between your teeth

Your eyes meet.

He removes the headphones, feeling hot and sweaty at your flushed cheeks

You smile, all seductive and it makes his cock twitch.

"Chapter 24?"

Hes up and rushing to you, fully intending on acting out the full Chapter.

Mikey

It's while you and him are making dinner

It's mundane and it smells almost as good as you do

You have a smile on your face as you try to remember what each brother likes and it makes his heart warm

He stirs the gravy and asks you to come try it.

He doesn't expect you to take his wrist and lead his spoon to your lips. Wrapping it around the silver and sucking the gravy off.

Now other things are warm

"Mmm!" You moan, licking your lips. "That's really good mike!"

Very warm

It stays that way until everyone is eating at the table

Mikey sees your eyes drift down his plastron as a drop of gravy falls off his bite of potatoes

Your breath catches as you notice the tent in his shorts

Everyone is busy taking and chatting about... oh he has no idea what anybody is talking about

Especially when you smirk and let your hand sneak under the table

You grip his thigh and he nearly cums in his pants from that

You scratch your way up his leg, griping him through his shorts and underwear

He shoves food in his mouth to keep from being too loud. Your hand feels amazing

It's a bit clumsy with the angle and clothes in the way, but he's still very much so getting off

He manages to keep himself quiet as he cums, staning his shorts. You shoot him another cheeky smile.

The hand that was griping him, moves the the table and "accidentally" knocks over a glass of water onto his lap

He gasps at the cold and everyone turns to look

"Oh, mike, I'm sorry! I'm so clumsy!" Your eyes flash with mischief

"It's fine, y/n," He touches your arm. "Come help me get some towels to clean this up,"

No towels were got, but a big mess was made.

@thelaundrybitch @leosgirl82 @turtle-babe83

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Slow and Steady

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Notes: This was requested twice, once with Buck and once with Eddie and imma do both lmao

P. S: YEAH SORRY I DIED BEFORE FINISHING THIS

“Oh my god Eddie!” You toss your book down, get up from the couch, and run over to the door where Buck is helping him walk in 

“What happened??” 

“Trust me! It’s way better than it looks!” Buck tries to reassure you as he guides Eddie to the bedroom, you rush ahead of them and push the covers back and he dumps Eddie on the bed, Eddie rolls over with his face planted in the blankets and giggles 

He actually giggles 

“Buck?!” You gesture to your boyfriend on the bed and he sighs 

“Okay. Don’t freak out” 

“It’s a bit late for that!” You cross your arms and Eddie reaches out for you 

“You’re so pretty when you’re mad” he sighs dreamily and you nod your head

“Thank you, baby, Evan?” 

“Damn she said your name” he rolls back over and Buck rolls his eyes 

“He uh- well he kinda fell off the ladder at work and-“

“He what?!”

“That lady was not very nice” Eddie pouts and you pinch the bridge of your nose 

“It wasn’t that bad of a fall I swear!! Just you know uh twobruisedribsandapossiblefractureinhisarm. Anyway I have to go back now so-“

“Evan Buckley!” 

He literally runs from the room as you’re left spluttering, Eddie is currently trying to yank his shirt off his head but he just knocks himself over 

“I left his discharge papers on the table I love you guys I’ll be back after my shift bye!!” You hear the front door slam and you stomp your foot 

“Buck!!”

“I don’t think he’s coming back” 

You turn to Eddie who’s got his shirt wrapped around his face and his pants halfway off 

“Yeah I don’t think so either”

After getting Eddie to just sit still you manage to go back to the dining room for the discharge papers. He’s got two bruised ribs and a fracture in his arm that they’ve put a cast on. He’s been given enough meds to knock out an elephant and after a round of being absolutely fruit loops, he should pass out. He’s also got a bottle of more painkillers to be administered every 6 to 8 hours depending on the pain 

“Well, at least he’s not dead” 

“Who’s not dead” Eddie is standing in the doorway or rather slumped against the wall about to fall over 

“Eddie!! You promised you’d stay in bed!” You gently put your arm around his waist and guide him back to bed and he whines

“I tried!! I promise I tried, but I just- I missed you” 

“You missed me huh?” You kiss his nose and he nuzzles against your hand stroking his hair 

“Come take a nap with me?” 

You sigh as he shuffles over and pats the spot next to him. You crawl into bed and pull the covers over you both and he lays his head on your chest, wrapping his arm carefully around you 

“Man I see why you like this” He purrs and you giggle, running your fingers through his hair 

“Shut up and go to sleep” 

“Mmm yes ma’am”

“How are you feeling?” You ask quietly as you come into the bedroom and Eddie looks over at you, grimacing a little 

“Okay I spose… fuck this hurts” He holds his side and you come over and put your hand on his forehead, smoothing his hair back slowly 

After he’d fallen asleep you waited for a bit before getting out of bed and getting things cleaned up a bit. You made yourself lunch and got dinner prepped because you weren’t sure what dealing with medicated Eddie was going to be like but you were absolutely sure dinner wasn’t going to be easy without some help 

“I know… Do you want more meds? It’s about time to take them” 

“Maybe” he takes your hand and kisses your fingers, holding them to his chest 

“I’m sorry I scared you. I can’t remember coming in but I know it scared you” 

You smile a little “ I accept your apology… you were pretty freaking cute… kinda clingy”

He chuckles and shakes his head “I’m sorry for who I am on pain medication”

“It’s okay, I really like silly Eddie. He should come out more often” you tease and he squeezes your hand a little

“Shut it” 

You lean forward and kiss him softly “I really was worried” 

“I know… it wasn’t too bad of a fall though”

“You have two bruised ribs and a fractured arm. You’re not Superman” 

“Okay, But they could be broken. Besides, I’m your hero baby. I’m definitely Superman”

You narrow your eyes at him and he grins widely, pulling you into him more 

“Okay okay I’m kidding, sheesh” He manages to maneuver you onto his hips and you cross your arms 

“Where is this going?” 

“Oh honey, I know you can feel where this is going” He slides his hand down to your hip and you giggle and bat at his hand 

“Eddie you’re hurt. We’re not-“

“Please? I… I need you” He says it quietly and you look at him, he seems so serious right now. 

“Eddie?”

“I just need you okay? I don’t- I’m not ready to talk about it” 

“Okay” 

You pull your shirt over your head and toss it to the other side of the bed, he watches you intently as you move off of him for a second and pull off your lounge shorts. He sighs softly at the sight of your bare cunt and reaches out for you. His hand strokes down your thigh slowly in anticipation and he grins 

“Kiss me” 

You get back onto him and lean forward, putting your hands on the sides of him instead of on his chest, and kiss him slowly, his tongue finds yours battling for dominance but not having his usual desperation behind it, no it’s all slow and sensual and loving 

He wants to make love to you 

He holds your hips with one hand, sighing when his cast gets in the way of holding you like he wants to. You smirk and lay it across his chest carefully 

“You have to be careful” 

“I really don’t want to be” 

“Too bad” You reach down and pull his cock from his boxers, stroking slowly before you lean down to kiss him again. He traces the shape of you with his fingers, starting from the curve of your cheek down to your hips, His fingers trace lightly over your jawline and over your collarbone, he pulls away to breathe and instead kisses the tip of your ear, whispering how deeply his body craves yours 

“Te Quiero” 

His hand glides down your body, exploring your plush curves and teasing your nipples, you feel a shiver trail down your spine as he rolls the little nubs between his fingers, watching them harden 

“Te necesito” 

His fingers flow down to your thighs, so soft and beautiful to him. He follows the shape of them, teasingly drawing little shapes on the inside of them until he reaches the warm apex of your thighs 

“Te Amo” 

He slips a single finger inside you, touching you slowly and coating it in your slick. You’re so gentle with the way you lay your head on his chest, moaning softly into his skin. 

You squirm with anticipation as he slips another finger in, working you open at a leisurely pace. He’s in absolutely no hurry right now, no quickies in the corner of the station, no eagerly devouring your wet pussy in his backseat. He raises an eyebrow at the frustrated little huff you let out against his shoulder 

“Something the matter?” 

“Y-you’re tea-teasing” Your body is trembling against his and he loves it. Loves feeling how you’re shaking with need 

“Oh I’d have slammed you through this mattress by now if I could have” he reassures you, dipping a third finger into your soaked heat “But for now? I just want to enjoy the love of my life. Is that okay with you?”

He does pick up the pace a bit now that he’s got three fingers inside you, your body rocks on his fingers and you nod, feeling higher than he is right now 

“Uh huh, t-that’s okay” 

“Gonna ride me, baby? Gonna try and fit me all in that tight little snatch?” 

Your cheeks flush and he pulls his hand away, offering it up to you. You eagerly clean it up, staring at him the entire time. A chill runs down his spine as he stares into those pretty eyes, dark and cloudy with lust, and he knows they match his. He can feel your clit practically throbbing on his cock 

You get on your knees, your body hovering above his for a second before you line up his cock with your entrance. His eyes roll over your body and he bites his lip, admiring the way your folds glisten in the dim lighting before you sink down onto him. It takes everything in him to let you take your time, he holds your hand, squeezing lightly as you fully seat yourself back on him 

“H-holy shit” he sounds as delirious as you feel. 

“You’re tellin me” you agree, your thighs trembling as you let your head fall back gently

 “Oh my god” You’re a little hesitant at first, you’re not really sure just how much he can take. But he stares up at you like you’re his moon, and he’s seeing stars (literally in his case) and you can’t help yourself, immediately finding a smooth, sensual rhythm that doesn’t hurt him and drives both of you wild 

“Fuck just like that” Eddie’s eyes roll back as you ride him, your hips swirling in slow, deliberate circles to hit your spot over and over again because he can’t drive his hips into you like he’s so desperate to do 

He pants raggedly as he grabs your ass in his hand, squeezing your soft flesh and bouncing it in his hand 

“Goddamn baby girl” he groans in frustration, dreaming about how you look with your ass in the air and face buried in the pillows. You take his hand, putting it on your breast and he squeezes it gentler and teases your nipple 

“Wanna suck on em so badly” He mumbles and you look at him, your face is flushed and hot, your mouth open in a little “o” shape as he hits deeper and deeper with every roll of your hips, he trails his hand down your torso, grinning like the Cheshire Cat when he feels the bulge of him in you 

“Jesus I never get used to that” He strokes your soft skin, mesmerized by the slow roll of your hips, the way your body moves on top of him. How your cunt squeezes him, struggling with each bounce to take all of him in you 

“So tight for me aren’t you? Soaked like a little slut and I’m not even doing anything” 

He looks so drunk in love right now as he rubs your clit, blinking slowly up at you. He reaches out with his other arm, wincing a little before pulling you down to him and connecting your lips 

“Edd-“

“Shut up” he mumbles, his lips moving in sync with yours as his body shudders as you start to ride him faster, he can tell you’re getting just as close as he is. He cups the back of your neck as your legs spread more, sinking you down further into his cock

“You gonna cum for me baby? My good girl gonna cum all over this cock?” 

He’s always had such a way with words. You finish on him, gasping as you try your best not to jolt him too much, your body quakes as you arch your back bouncing on him just a little. He hisses in a painful pleasure kind of way as his hips meet yours anyway, cumming deep inside you. He holds you down, forcing every last drop in. 

He lets go and you fall to the side, your body jerking a little as you come down from your high. Eddie has his hand on your thigh, squeezing it gently and you pant together. 

“I love you, Corazón” 

“I love you too, Superman” 

True to his word, Buck lets himself in after his shift. Exhausted he hangs up his jacket and slips off his shoes, padding over to the fridge and grabbing the Tupperware with his name on it

“God I love that girl” He fake sniffles as he tosses it in the microwave and waits for it to heat up. He grabs a tray from the cabinet, putting a fork and napkin on it and a cold beer. He’s definitely eating dinner in bed (the guest room, aka his room) and passing the fuck out. 

“Shit shit hot” he drops the bowl on the tray and picks it all up, going back to the guest room. He stops in front of Eddie’s room, the door partially open and bumps it with his side 

“Hey, Y/N I’m-“ 

You look up at him, your mouth wrapped around Eddie’s cock, his hand on your head. You pull away from him and Eddie throws a blanket over you 

“Jesus Buck-“ 

“MY EYESSSS” 

[itsangelll]

hello I wanna say I absolutely adore your fics could I get a 2010 x fem reader where he’s like car racer and he goes and does racers at night and stuff and he’s been begging for her to come with him and she finally agrees it’s okay if not!

A/n:OF COURSE thank you for this request <33 im gonna go sit on his lap real quick hope you enjoy <33

2010 era

warnings:none

short story angst?

‘ℐ𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓈𝒶𝒻ℯ？✰’

“Liebe pleaseee come on it’ll be fun.” you looked over at your boyfriend he’s been begging you for the past 3 weeks to go to one his car tournaments and hop in the car with him. You shook your head and sighed “No Tom not after what happened after last time you took me in one of those cars of yours.” He literally drove so fast up on a DAMN CLIFF and you guys almost crashed he called it ‘Practice’ but you call it ‘unsafe’ .

“Jesus Schatzi please” he kept nagging you for about an hour or so till you finally gave in “fuck okay okay! I’ll go with you dumbass”. He had such a smile on his face he picked you up and hugged you tightly “There’s one on tonight at 6 and a lot of people are expecting us to be there so we’ll go then”, You nodded and smiled were you gonna regret this later in your afterlife? oh fuck yes.

-time skip

You guys made it up to the race track it was wild the sky was pitch black the crowed was screaming and roaring the brisk air felt cold against your skin Tom had an arm around your waist smiling and waving to the crowd this was definitely his scene but was it yours? no chance.

You looked over at the cars they were glistening “Apparently who ever wins this one gets $50,000” Tom yelled out his voice booming over the crowd “$50,000??” You were stunned had no idea people would pay just to see two cars race but Tom knew what he was doing. You both walked over to the car getting in the other racer also hopping in.

You were about to buckle your seatbelt till you realised there wasn’t one “Tom why isn’t there a seatbelt in this car?” He smirked “now where is the fun in having a seatbelt sweetheart just trust me we’ll be fine” he kissed your cheek and smiled, now you were scared for your life.

A girl came out waving the flag the crowd got even louder Tom revved the engine giving it a quick start. Within 30 seconds you guys sped off “Tom there’s no need to go so fast!!” You said your voice slightly shaky “This is called a race for a reason liebe”. His eyes keep straight on the track now you were really scared for your life the speed kept getting higher 140,150, and jumping to 180 your eyes kept wandering around wether or not you were even gonna make it out alive in here.

You held onto Tom’s hand holding it for dear life his foot slammed down on the accelerator harder than ever before going at a rapid speed adrenaline and fear were rushing through your veins you looked over at Tom and he was having the time of his life the guy he was racing with was way behind you guys now, your eyes looked at the road and you could see a finish line THANK GOD.

He moved the shift gear slowing down a bit passing the finish line, you took a deep breath your hands were shaking Tom chuckled and pressed a kiss to your lips “I told you this was safe darling.”

A/n: I hope you guys enjoyed keep sending in requests mwah by cuties <33

Taglist:

@bunniesthoughts

@itsmealaiah

@madzandmore

@il0vet0mk4ulitz

@jadedchar

@memzyyy

[girl4music]

The idea or take that romance isn’t as important as friendship when friendship can evolve into romance is an odd one for me and I think it’s because I don’t think romance can be a romance without a deep friendship.

I’m partial to the “love is friendship on fire” adage and fictional ships or couple romances or love stories that begin from friendship. I favour friends-to-lovers and slow burn platonic-to-romantic relationships in art/entertainment because the depth of the connection is not only depicted but also drawn out and developed.

You get the whole journey so there’s never any rush to get to one development to another. There’s no time-skipping. And there’s no push for something more to happen because what you see happening is part of why you want it to be something more. You appreciate all of it. Even the negatives like the fights and conflicts because that also helps to evolve the relationship into higher degrees of love and devotion than ever before if you’re able to get the whole journey of what you want.

And I think this is why I am fundamentally bored with romantic WLW ships of today in TV art/entertainment.

Because you don’t get the whole journey of the ship.

You don’t really get a love story.

You barely get a pamphlet. 😒

But shows like ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ and ‘Wynonna Earp’ give you WLW ships where you get everything in the ships because the journey is the whole point to it.

And for me - that feels significantly more romantic than something that’s explicitly made to be romantic.

I’ve come to realize that that’s probably because they both begin as friends and that that never changes. All that happens is the friendship evolves into romance. And I feel like a lot of TV show WLW ships get it very wrong when they change the friendship side of things. That’s if it even starts as a friendship first. I am often surprised by how many WLW ships I’ve seen in TV art/entertainment that do not. That immediately go into romance. That’s usually just because those shows are just too damn short and linear and they have no time to show you the journey. Thank fuck for fanfic then because in fanfic you can rewrite the beginnings and endings and also explore all the detail in the middle.

What can I say? TV show storytelling just isn’t a good medium for WLW representation not because they don’t want to give you the whole journey… but because they’re prevented from being able to do so.

And I’ve had enough now. I’ve had enough of being made a side storyline or liner notes in a straight person’s show or being killed off or cancelled or tragically broken up and separated when it’s not.

I either want to be a main narrative or not there at all.

I don’t want to have to settle for a half-way state and position of existence just because I’m not male and not straight. I don’t want to have to just make do and I think anybody that believes that they should seriously need to watch something more “dated” where the censorship might be rampant throughout, but… least you still get to see the whole damn journey of what is. Least there is development for those characters and even a conclusion and closure to their relationships…

Least you actually get to see yourself be … someone.

And none of it has absolutely anything to do with your sexuality or gender identity in the way where you have to feel like you’re apologizing for it or sacrificing for it… but rather… this is what is happening and it’s fine.

People really think it’s contradictory that why I love Xena and Gabrielle so much is because their sexuality or the nature of their relationship is never made an issue. They see that as an erasure of who they are.

When no, that’s not it at all.

It’s just not all they are.

It’s not all they do.

There’s so much more about them that’s detailed instead over that and it still never takes away from it.

And that’s what you want. That’s the kind of format to a love story you want to be watching or reading about because it’s normal, it’s natural and it’s just how it is.

They’re lead female characters with many main narratives across the span of 6 whole ass seasons.

And oh yeah, they just happen to be queer and in love.

The journey of the relationship as a friendship is always put first and made the focus with Xena and Gabrielle but it’s always up to you what else they are. It’s just for me - the friendship is what IS so romantic. I can’t really separate one from the other because to me… the reason why they’re the greatest love story that I’ve ever seen in TV of all-time is because they begin as friends and they never neglect this aspect.

[deltastra]

My Thoughts on Tower of God Season 2 Episode 4

HELLO I AM BACK!!! THIS EPISODE WILL FINALLY END THE TRUSTWORTHY ROOM TEST! I'll admit so far I have not been appreciating the changes or cut content, in addition, the animation has been lacklustre. But I still look forward to ToG content every week!

WEBTOON SPOILERS WAS TEASED BUT NOT OUTRIGHT STATED

Rating: 6/10

Summary: They...they skipped some very important scenes. Overall the pacing was not good. At least this arc is over.

Oh man. Love vs Viole wasn't the best and I feel like a lot was cut that really made the fight stood out. But it's whatever.

Oh, they changed this scene too. Ehhh I can see why given the source material but this made Yihwa look very incompetent. Gives off the wrong impression to anime-onlies in my opinion.

Oh no...

I love how compared to Rachel's betrayal. Wangnan's one was heartbreaking for BOTH parties. Nia genuinely didn't want to do this but he just wanted to protect the woman who took him in. Just like Wangnan, Nia NEEDS to climb the Tower no matter what. And sadly, in the Tower, you never know who you have to step on in order to rise to the top, that's the cruel culture within it. I believe the anime did a good job in showing the genuine heartbreak and regret Nia has in betraying Wangnan, but also showing that he would do it again if it meant protecting the lady that helped him.

THIS IS WHY I LOVE WANGNAN. HE IS JUST GENUINELY A GOOD PERSON LIKE BAM. HE UNDERSTANDS NIA AND WHY HE DID WHAT HE DID. It's sad that Wangnan got betrayed but the fact that Nia did it to protect someone he cared about, there's no way Wangnan would be upset about it.

They nailed the tone of this scene. While they didn't show us his death on screen, I did appreciate the way they clearly conveyed what happened to him and Wangnan's anger.

I ALWAYS LOVED THIS QUOTE FROM HORYANG. AND I LOVED HOW VIOLE WAS SEEKED OUT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY BY WANGNAN. Viole is their ultimate evil to them as he is FUG Slayer Candidate. Lurker is a POS and needs to be punished. A clear difference between the two. Wangnan knows he is not strong enough to do it and as usual, he needs others to help him, but that does not make him weak.

They should've added in Love's genuine disbelief over Viole copying moves. Because he did say it took him a long time to come up with and master his abilities, yet Viole copied them in one fight. It could've showed how much of a big deal this was.

Uhhh I think they glossed over how Wangnan got that remote, I swear it was way cooler in the WEBTOON.

I always loved this quote from Wangnan. As for the whole scene, it felt...rushed...the pacing felt off

If this was meant to show a POV of Horyang rushing....it was slow man... If anything, it felt awkward.

Damn that was good animation. I think they love animating Horyang. Fair enough. My boy deserves some love. ALSO KEVIN PENKIN GO OFF KING I LOVE THIS OST.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THIS SCENE LOOKS SO GOOFY IN THE ANIME I LOVE IT.

And our first glimpse over Prince genuinely having what it takes to survive in the Tower and not relying on his privileges.

OH THAT ANIMATION FOR HIS RIGHT ARM LOOKS SO GOOD.

ANDDDD HORYANG GAINED A FANBOY LETS GOOOOO. Love the soundtrack here too!

I love this scene so much because it shows how complicated people are when it comes to climbing the Tower. The same people that betrayed you for their own goals, have something they want to protect. On the other hand, the "scumbags" in the Tower, like Lurker, were also victims once. I don't feel sympathy for Lurker, but I understand how he ended up like this. His mindset is also very interesting. Don't hate or resent anyone. Just climb.

It's annoying how people find this scene stupid. "WHY DID WANGNAN FORGIVE HIM?! HE IS SO DUMB"

Wangnan forgiving Lurker is a middle finger to Lurker's whole philosophy. He will change the Tower's culture, and he will do so with friends. If theres no need to resent or hate anyone, whats stopping you from from caring about people and forgiving them too? There's no way Wangnan is legit forgiving Lurker, it's moreso to show him, "I am different from you." Which Lurker would hate even more. Contrary to popular belief, needlessly getting revenge won't fill any hole in your heart. It's a shame that Viole is getting the "sigma MC will get revenge" treatment from the fandom right now...

(Also insert my usual "Kevin Penkin cooked" comment here thanks.)

HAHAHAHAHAAH MAN THESE TWO.

NOO THEY SHOULDVE ADDED THE SCENE WHERE HE TRIED TO GET FRIED CHICKEN BUT WANGNAN AND MISENG ASKED FOR SWEET AND SOUR PORK INSTEADDD.

And there it is! I always loved his ideology! BUT ALSO THEY DIDNT EVEN EXPLAIN HOW THE TEAM WON. HELLO THTS LIKE KEY INFORMATION???

WHY DID THEY NOT GIVE HIM HIS SCOUT UNIFORM HELLOOOOOOO

Alright...I'll be honest here. Did NOT like the changes in this test. I was okay with them removing the small scenes of sweet and sour which were mostly comedic. But some changes made no sense, like...why? Anyway, I hope after this, the pacing and animation gets better. Time will tell!

[cesiali]

You Love Me To Hate You（Peter/Paul，Mentions of Gene/Paul & Ace/Paul)（part Ⅰ）

nc-13

My English is not very good and I haven't been to the US…so sorry for my grammar and translation issues.

————

1994

In fact, Peter should have realized the intentionality behind this as early as when he got the call from Paul.

"Who is it?" Peter answered the phone.

"It's me, Paul." A voice he would never forget until the day he died made Peter almost just hang up the phone, "Please don't hang up. "

Great, Paul even guessed that he was planning to do just that.

"What do you want, Paul?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play with me, Paul! What are you calling for? To mock me for being broke or for being swept off my feet by my ex-wife, I offered you the option, take your pick. Or, fuck it if you want, you can mock both!"

"Why should I make fun of you? I didn't even know you were divorced."

"Of course, you don't know..." Peter took the receiver in a different hand, feeling unusually agitated, "You don't CARE!"

"Look, Peter," Paul actually skirted right around the subject, adjusting his tone as if nothing had happened, "there's no way I can talk to you about this over the phone, okay? Let's meet, I promise there's absolutely no sarcasm or teasing, and I'll come to your there and you give me the address."

Peter gulps as the hand clutching the receiver begins to sweat,"What makes you think I'd give you an address?"

"Because I will wait."

Damn it.

———

Peter arrived early at the place they had agreed upon, an Italian restaurant. But was slow to enter, hovering in the doorway, glancing down at his watch now and then.

At the appointed time, he hadn't seen Paul, not even a single figure that resembled him. Although they hadn't seen each other for a couple of years, after Paul's wedding to his actress wife, to which Peter and Debra had been invited, and yes, at that point in time, Debra was still his wife and he still retained the right to see his lovely daughter whenever he wanted... Peter vowed that if Paul mentioned anything relevant in today's conversation, he'll leave right away.

He just doesn't want to see the misfortune of self in the happiness of others.

"The little bastard's late..." Peter stomped his foot twice in annoyance and uttered a curse.

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he heard a rush of footsteps, and Peter didn't need to look up to know the identity of his visitor. Peter eyes were down low, and he noticed that the other man was wearing a pair of white and purple Puma boardshorts.

"Sorry I'm late..." Paul's breathy tone sounded convincing.

"You do deserve to be sorry." Peter inwardly took pleasure, Sinful Pleasures, in the fleeting embarrassment in Paul's words.

When Peter realized that a grin was forming on his face, he knew that Paul had noticed it as well, and although the sunglasses were blocking the lead singer's eyes, the way he tensed his lips was enough to show that he was trying to suppress the discomfort he felt about it. If he could, Peter really wanted to laugh out loud, wondering if Paul wouldn't be able to resist yelling at him. However, the thought flashed briefly through Peter's mind and he quickly stop, not wanting to give away too much.

As the eyes of passersby around them began to gradually fall on the two of them, "I think we should go inside." Paul adjusted his sunglasses.

"I thought you loved attention."

"Not at a time like this."Paul clasps his arms to his chest.

He didn't retort, unexpectedly honest, for a master of disguise like Paul Stanley.

...

The waiter led them to their reserved seats, and the two of them took their seats one after the other.

"Are you going to take it off?" Peter said as he received a warm towel from the waiter.

Paul, who had also wiped his hands on a warm towel, froze for a moment, realizing with hindsight that Peter was referring to his sunglasses.

Paul froze for a moment, then obediently removed his sunglasses and gently folded them on the table. Revealing the part of him that Peter had known best from before, his eyes. Peter had heard a theory of biology that the eyes, the only five senses in a human being that don't change as they age. Peter backed up that statement 100%.

In fact, looking at Paul's face, it struck him that Paul was most likely wearing makeup, maybe just a little foundation or something, and there was no trace of eyeliner on his large, drooping eyes, except for a few wrinkles. There was none of the childishness Peter remembered, and he wasn't as shy as he used to be, but he still retained a vague sense of gender. Age had sharpened the line of his jaw, and his long, curly hair balanced it out nicely...even if only half of it was real.

"Is there something on my face?" Paul took a sip of water from his glass and pulled his hair behind his ear.

Peter shrugged and took a sip of water as well, "I heard a rumor that neither you nor Gene's hair is real."

Paul's hand still rested on the glass, and he nearly choked himself before he could swallow the sip he'd taken. "Do you have any insight into this?" He exhaled.

"No, it just popped into my head..." Peter's voice is fading. leaning back in his chair and shaking his head at the ground.

Paul didn't pay him attention any more, instead turning his attention to scrutinizing his own reflection in the mirrored image reflected by the metal knife and fork after the waiter had handed out the menus and set the cutlery. He ran his fingers through his wavy hair and turned his face sideways for a moment. For a moment, felt like he was back in the 70's, where any minute now, crying, screaming fans would be rushing towards him, but unfortunately they didn't have any bodyguards around to keep them in check. the 70's were as far away from KISS as a lifetime ago, and the glory and the honor had been washed away by time.

Like countless times in the past, Peter stared long enough that he began to wonder more and more why he was here. He picked up the menu in front of him, determined to distract himself. As it turned out, the menu was cluttered with new-school dishes he didn't recognize, much to Peter's annoyance. He simply closed the menu with a thud and decided to follow his experience.

"Let's start with the main course, a pasta, the Neapolitan kind, ya know? With red peppers and chopped parsley, oh... Yeah, and finally grate a bit Parmesan cheese on top, I like to smell the cheese. The rest of it...Paul, do you want to take care of the other parts of the order?"

The sudden call of his name made Paul's hands and feet flutter, his eyes flickering back and forth between the knife and fork and Peter's face, "Me? Uh... Actually I wasn't-"

"What the fuck does that mean?" Peter cut him off, his brow furrowing.

"I'm on a diet."

Paul hesitates, unsure if he wants to reveal more in front of outsiders.

"Bullshit."

"I really am!"

"It's an Italian restaurant, Paul, don't be rude." Peter rolled his eyes. Paolo hasn't changed a bit.

"I don't want to do this, Peter." Paul's eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly, then the corners of his mouth rapidly turned downward.

"Finish your meal, Paul, or I'm leaving now." Peter threatened sternly, his hands balled into fists.

If it had been Gene, he probably would have gone along with Paul's wishes and taken care of most of the food, then lost the argument with Paul during the dessert session and sent a drunken Paul home when it was over because his was in charge of the drinks portion. But that was the big difference between Gene and Peter, he would never pay for Paul's pathetic dream of being a lead singer, and since he offered to come out to dinner, he had to eat his share.

Paul turned his face away, he was clearly suppressing pent up anger.

It made Peter suddenly a bit regretful, a precursor to Paul building up his self-defense, and it was highly likely that he would skimp on self-expression for every minute of the next day, not volunteering a single word until Peter was so tormented he couldn't take it anymore and drowned the two of them in silence.

The good news is Paul wasn't quiet for long: "That's up to you. Except for one thing, no fried garlic in the pasta, I'm sticking to that."

"What kind of spaghetti aglio e olio (pasta with garlic and oil) is that without fried garlic?"

"Just remove the aglio (garlic) and keep the spaghetti e olio (pasta with oil), Peter."

For a while, neither continued to speak, just staring into each other's eyes.

"Fine, no damn fried garlic." Peter gritted his teeth and took the lead in compromising, picking up the menu to put him up and block them both from view.

Why on earth would he agree to see Paul? They spent the mid-80's throwing all sorts of shit at each other's heads through the media. The relationship went on for quite some time, no one remembering who started it and no one knowing how it ended. Into the 90's Paul invited Peter to his wedding out of the blue, agreeing to go although he was quite surprised.

It makes absolutely no sense, but that lack of sense is exactly the norm in their relationship.

By the time their food was served, Peter's stomach was already growling with hunger and he feasted on it without a care in the world. That is, until he noticed Paul sitting across from him, slowly rolling up a few pieces of pasta and popping them into his mouth with the tangled expression of an anorexic chick. But as soon as the flavors melted on his tongue, Paul's eyebrows in surprise and his eyes narrowed in an involuntary smile.

"Enjoying your food, Paulie?" asked Peter taking in everything that had just happened, he loved seeing Paul enjoying his food.

"Hmm, It's a bit more than I expected, actually it's really good." Paul lets the food slide down his throat and nods contentedly.

Did Peter just call him "Paulie"? He was pretty sure the last time Peter had called him that in years, the news was still reporting on Jimmy Carter's re-election defeat.

"You know what? You should just relax and allow some good things to happen in your life."

"I don't know, Peter. It's been so long that I can't tell the difference between a lot of things anymore." Paul's fork stopped. The food in his mouth suddenly became difficult to swallow.

Can't tell what? The good things in life? Come on, his wife gave him a son not too long ago, can't even his child fill his empty ego and be considered a good thing? Paul's ego-collapsing problem is non-trivial.

"For God's sake, Paul, you just had a baby boy, remember? That's worth being grateful for what you have."

"I do appreciate that, really."

Paul wanted to say something, opened his mouth, and closed it again.

"Don't tell me you're still hung up on that shit."

"What do you mean?"

"From the past to the present, you've always gone in both directions. " Peter flipped his wrists from side to side and take a sip of wine.

"What nonsense are you talking about? I'm not Ace, I've never gone the other way."

"Keep talking, Paul, keep convincing yourself, even if you can't convince anyone. "A snort escaped Peter's lips.

Paul puts down his fork: "Don't talk like you know a lot about me, you don't know me at all-"

"I know you well enough! All those complaints and little secrets from your past." Peter picked up his glass again and this time drank it down in one gulp, moving so much that he missed a few drops on his baggy t-shirt, "We used to talk on the phone every night, remember? We'd go on and on and Lydia would argue with me about me draining the phone bill. It was all good then, until you got hooked on Ace......"

"That's enough, It's all in the past, Peter. I don't want to keep talking about this." Paul quickly interrupted Peter's reminiscing, seemingly truly determined to make a clean break with the past.

"I didn't start all of this, you did..." Peter was guilty of muttering as he glanced at Paul to make sure the lead singer wasn't too disturbed by the conversation he'd just had, and he raised his hand to summon the waiter to order another glass of wine.

With his second glass, Peter greedily chased the aroma of the brew and felt better.

"So, how come you're alone, I thought you and Gene were Siamese twins now?"

"He's got his own thing going on, and we're not always together." Paul didn't react to Peter's inappropriate analogy as if he was finally getting used to it.

Watching Paul pick his fork through his spaghetti like a three-year-old with less than a third of the portion left, Peter saw it as an improvement.

"Want one?" Peter pushed the bread basket leaning in front of him towards Paul's end, curious if he could get Paul to eat more.

"I don't think I should eat anymore." Paul burped at the right time.

That's not the kind of answer that would satisfy Peter.

"PAUL."

"Fine!" Paul impatiently picked up a baguette and pushed the bread basket back.

Peter immediately casts a wide smile and slackens his expression management.

Then the smile faded from his face as he witnessed Paul slowly placing the soup-covered baguette into his mouth.Paul's large eyes ghosted over to his own for a quick glance, just one glance, and quickly moved away. At the same time, he bit down into the bread, soaking up the soup so deliciously that it almost made him moan, and he closed his eyes to savor it. On the other end Peter was struck in the small of his back by a primal urge, his body's betrayal coming so suddenly that he had to awkwardly adjust his pants in his seat.

Did he do it on purpose? Or did Peter misunderstand the meaning.

This query would keep playing on the drummer's mind for the rest of the mealtime.

[yhollow]

Something About Frieren: A Fulfilling Life?

Here's a thing: I've always felt Frieren shares a similar melancholic feel with Violet Evergarden, but with a unique twist. Both stories unfold slowly, mundane, and seemingly pointless. However, the two also share a core value that I like; A lot of room to breathe and contemplate. It invites us to savor the quiet moments. Frieren and Violet started off oblivious with emotions that normally other people would grieve or regret. They learned to understand something that is no longer (or supposedly no longer, in Violet's case) attainable. Violet Evergarden was a tearjerker for me, whereas Frieren so far is more of a heartwarming journey.

At a glance, it feels pointless to aim for something that you can never get back. There is no thrill from the rush of desire or a hit of comeback. Alas, this type of story was trying to convey something else; The melancholy of acceptance, a treasured legacy, and attention to even the slightest change. The slow pace pinpointed those things in pieces of with character's current life. Frieren's world is tinged with melancholic beauty, a constant reminder of the ones lost to time, and honors it by cherishing life's moments going forward.

Now focusing on Frieren story, I really like how each character connected with their surroundings and how the relationship between them emerged. Even the supporting cast in Frieren are not mere bystanders. Each character interaction feels meaningful, adding depth and dimension to the story. They aren't merely a tool for the main character's development but really feel like a part of the main story.

Now about the main character Frieren.. By herself, she may lack an admirable trait as she appears laid-back and unpassionate, which makes her a seemingly unconventional protagonist. We won't be able to understand her if not for the characters around her. Her strong suit I think was her will to understand and her value of humility. She was mainly driven by logic but didn't completely shut herself from emotional reasons.

I really like the part about her, even as the main character, when she failed to earn the 'first-class mage' title like it was nothing to worry about. Instead, she helped her apprentice, Fern, to be one. It's quite rare to see a main character surpassed by the support character. I can think of some examples like Lightning McQueen and Naruto, each with their own reason. But the message is the same; Everyone has their own role in life and not every path they need to succeed. The student will surpass the teacher, and it was delivered in such a.. lenient, light-hearted way.

Watching Frieren was almost stress-free, I started to look forward to how she'd handle a normally stressful situation with her lack-of-stress attitude, lmao. It can be frustrating when that happens in a relationship with the people around her, though. And that pros and cons are what make it interesting. Not looking stressed, or heck not looking excited, doesn't mean one didn't care. I can relate to that part of her to some degree, and that's also the reason why I like her.

It's funny to recall back the first time I heard about Frieren, was when a friend watching the episode where Frieren's group first met Lügner I was like yoo what are you watching and YOOO who is that Johan-looking guy 😳😳. He was the reason I watched Frieren... Damn... RIP Lügner 😞💔.

Anyway, I still enjoy the story so far and I think anyone seeking a thoughtful and emotionally resonant story will find themselves captivated by Frieren's journey. The key to a fulfilling life.. highlighted in everyday moments.. and to raise a glass for the lingering memories from remnants of those who once walked with us. Cheers, and keep walking forward.

Oh right, and with a hobby, of course!

[evilwriter-originals]

WIP Wednesday

I wrote over 2k words of chapter 9 today! Have the beginning! Let the whump commence!

Anaria’s head pounded. Badly. She couldn’t remember a time in her life where it had hurt so much. She let out a whimper, a groan. She shivered, reached for familiar blankets, but there was nothing there. There was a rattling noise, her fingers scraping what felt like stone.

She was coming to slowly, not really remembering the night before or why she would have this damn headache. Was she hungover? She hadn’t had that much to drink at the party, had she?

It came back to her in bits and pieces, like fragments of broken glass. The engagement dinner, the dancing, taking Girad back to her rooms… They had been supposed to have sex, to try to conceive a child, but neither of them had been too keen on the idea. She’d gone for a flight to get some air and rid herself of her nerves, and—

She’d been attacked. Someone had come at her from behind, hit her in the head with what felt like the pommel of a weapon. There had been falling, struggling to stay adrift, grappling with her attacker. She’d let loose a single fireball, and in that light she had only been able to make out the attacker’s eyes. They’d looked familiar, but she had been too disoriented to place them. The woman wore a mask to cover the rest of her features.

The forest had rushed up at her, trees becoming bigger and bigger as she neared impact. Her attacker had grabbed her to slow her descent, but she’d hit rather hard nonetheless, snapping branches. She’d lost consciousness before she’d even gotten past the trees and hit the ground.

Well… That explained the rest of the pain in her body. Her ribs were on fire, both from what felt like broken bones and lacerations across her abdomen. It also felt like her arms were covered in lacerations, and there was a large cut on her face that ran across the bridge of her nose and down her left cheek.

Anaria groaned again. She opened her eyes in an attempt to understand where she was, but was met with total darkness. She lay flat on her stomach on what felt like a straw pallet, her wings, also scratched up, spread around her. There was something cold around each of her wrists, cold and heavy. Chains.

She needed light. She needed to see where she was to begin understanding what had happened.

Anaria reached for her magic, and let out a cry, utterly shocked by the sensation that came with it.

Burning.

Around her neck.

She pushed herself up on one elbow, groaning again as her broken ribs screamed at her for the change of position. With her right hand she fumbled at her neck—chains rattling—and there she found a heavy iron collar.

If dread hadn’t already been turning her blood cold, it had now. Ice ran through her body.

A dampening collar. There could be no other object around her neck but that. She’d heard of them, of course, when hearing gruesome tails of what humans did to Nessari. They blocked the use of magic, not just through the pain it caused when one tried to access their internal well of it, but by cutting them off from that well. Calling it a “dampening collar” was an under-exaggeration.

Anaria knew that there would be no way for her to do magic at all, but she kept trying. She got onto her hands and knees, curling her wings tight against her back. She swayed in the darkness, her headache messing with her balance, even in this position. Digging her nails into the pallet beneath her, she tried again and again to reach her magic. All she wanted was light! A damn light!

All she got was burning. She was breathing hard, moaning, and then, finally, with a scream of both pain and despair, she gave up. It was no use.

She got herself to sit, found a stone wall behind her that she could lean against and let her wings droop at her sides. She was exhausted from the effort of trying to use her magic, exhausted from having to move in chains. Her legs seemed to be free, and the chains allowed her movement, so they must have been longer ones, but that didn’t change the fact that she was still restrained.

I must be in a dungeon of some sort.

Anaria hadn’t shed a single tear since waking, but that thought and the hopelessness that enshrouded her made her eyes sting. A sob left her before she knew it was going to happen. It made her ribs ache and protest, but she couldn’t help it. She just sat there and cried.

At first, she tried to keep her sounds at least a little quiet, ashamed for crying, but that was too hard, just created an abominable ache in her chest. Soon, she found that she was screaming, that she couldn’t breathe. Panic lit her brain on fire, and she was sure that, had she been able to see in the first place, she wouldn’t be able to now. It was just darkness upon darkness.

She put her head in her hands, trying so hard to breathe. Oh gods, she felt like she was going to faint.

This was so far from any situation she’d ever been in. She lived in luxury—protected luxury—and yet here she was in some dungeon, chained up, injured, unable to access her magic. Who knew how far she was from home? Or who had captured her? Where was she? And most importantly: why?

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 65

Chapter 65: “The Secret Garden”

I'm so used to seeing GP in black & white because of how often I read through the upcoming chapters, so whenever I do see artwork of Emma and her time here at the hunting ground I’m literally blown away by all the bright colors. 

Back during ch61, Yuugo realized that Emma is the one who decides the plan based on Ray’s knowledge and though I did comment about how that dynamic works really well for them, I also brought up how both kids can function just fine on their own. The reason for that is because they pick up the other’s main role during their time apart. Without Ray, we see how Emma has slowed down and started to analyze her situation (at least it seems more clear to me now anyways).

Emma has always been praised as the more physically fit one out of the fullscore trio (and probably all the GF kids), so the fact that Violet is able to shake her off and get Emma lose sight of her for a little bit is kinda impressive.

The way they have him reaching outside of the panel for her is pretty neat. Really stresses how desperate he was trying to save her.

Thank you geezer for saving my boy but you’re lucky you didn’t break his damn back with that slam.

I have an endless list of reasons why I wanted to see these arcs animated but add Ray’s rage to it too. All that anger, desperation and panic in his voice.. I wanna hear it so badly. It would be such a switch up from the usual calm and collected boy we’re used to.

All the times I skim through these chapters, why am I only remembering now that Yuugo & his family didn’t journey to A08-63 right away? I guess they weren’t too bothered with WM’s instructions with trying to change the world, but aahh, now I wish we could’ve seen more of those couple months of them just chilling out in the bunker.

Oh huzzah, now you wanna be nice. Emma’s little speech warmed up your lonely heart a bit huh?

Here we start to see the role reversal thing with Ray now making final decisions. Sure it leans on his vow from ch38 of protecting his family, but him choosing to go after Emma despite all the things Yuugo just told him about the poachers and the hunting ground is something he doesn’t need to think twice about. It’s a reckless move but hey, that’s exactly how Emma usually functions.

How did Violet know she had the pen? Did she randomly dig around Emma’s pockets looking for it? And she must’ve had her own normal pen on hand to right this message considering the WM pens don’t have any ink, yeah? And Emma slept through all this happening? I’m strangely baffled by it all.

What would have the scary GP music sounded like?? Aahh no doubt that Obata would’ve definitely nailed the chilling yet anxiety filled atmosphere of this place. I forget when or where I tossed out this thought of mine, but I still think it would’ve been pretty bittersweet if it was a very rushed/distorted version of Leslie’s song. Sweet because we’d hear that iconic melody again but bitter because ooohh just imagine what the demons could’ve done to that poor lad to get that song.

Favorite panel/moment:

The absolute fury on Ray’s face lives rent free in my head.. like I have flipped through this story on countless occasions and I have a hard time picking out another moment where we see Ray get this insanely hell-bent on anything. He is just so incredibly pissed off at Yuugo’s schemes but also at himself for not being quick enough to grab Emma. This also contributes to him now calling the shots because no matter what Yuugo tells him, Ray’s beyond adamant in saving Emma no matter the danger to himself.

[shyinadarkplace]

So you like Big?- part four

Pairings: Clark Kent x Reader

Warnings: There is definite size kink, future office sex?, Clark Kent (yes he is a warning), language, I can't think of any thing else. There are some dom/sub themes but nothing to crazy. I guess I should also include that Lois Lane is a pretty shite person in this whole series.

Authors Note: THIS IS MY VERY FIRST REQUEST EVER! This whole thing comes from this lovely anon ask -"Hi Sweetie ! Can I request something fluffy/smutty with Clark Kent? He notices the reader has a size kink so he plays with her?" This is where all the good stuff happens. It is a bit of a slow burn based of an established friendship. It does get a little heavy at times but I promise there is a bunch more light hearted and steamy things coming. Thank you for reading.

Word Count:

Please do not copy rewrite, translate or repost my works. No permission is given to use my work in any capacity even with credit. I do not own Clark Kent , Henry Cavill or any of his characters.

Wednesday

  After yesterday there was nothing I wanted more than to stay home. I don’t like conflict, it makes me anxious and I feel more of it coming, but I buck up and go in. Surprisingly the day goes by without a hitch. Everyone is productive and polite. The whole office feels lighter. Hell I even hear the occasional laughter which hasn’t happened in forever. It’s nice. 

*ding*

Big: I’ve barely gotten to talk to you today. Come have lunch with me ? 

Honestly I can’t help the stupid grin that I get on my face. I text back : of course. 

*ding* 

Big: Great! Meet me in the hall gorgeous. 

Instantly my imagination takes a turn towards kinky. I mean my audiobook isn’t helping but still this is a little dramatic. I spend the next ten minutes until it’s time for my lunch break trying and failing not to imagine Clark whisking me away to some secluded part of the building and absolutely dominating me. Or the way his lips would feel as he eats me out. Or better yet what his cock would feel like. As soon as noon hits I fly out of my chair, the sound of Tiff’s suppressed giggle follows me as I  rush to meet Clark who is already waiting. He grins when he sees me. I don’t know why but that makes my chest flutter. We come in for a hug and I hear his deep slow inhale. A hum vibrates his chest as he keeps me close and whispers in my ear huskily “You smell mouth watering. Maybe you should call in the rest of the day.” I giggle and deflect  “Stop it. We both know I can’t do that.” He gets this look . “ But you would if you could?” I laugh a little again “Well yeah no one really wants to work all day Clark.” He nods gently, taking my hand as we walk. I lean against his shoulder and enjoy the feeling. The sun is warm on my skin and as we walk I find myself practically dosing. The low soft tone of Clarks voice pulls me from my head “Hey sweetheart you alright?” I hadn’t realized we were almost at Glorias. “Huh, oh yeah. Just kinda tired I guess. Haha.” He gives me a look cocking one eyebrow at me. “What?’ I ask. “Just makin’ sure my woman is alright that’s all. Come on let’s get you some food.” He says opening the door for me. I whisper a thank you and he just gives me that half smile that turns my insides to mush. 

Clarks POV 

There is nothing I currently love more than the adorable way that (y/n) is looking at me. The touches now charged with the Promise of so much more than I had ever dared to hope. The smiles a reflection of someone shedding the past and welcoming something beautiful and new. Fuck me she is so damn gorgeous. “Clark are you coming? Is everything alright?” “oh. Sorry about that. I was just thinking about how gorgeous you are.” Nessie comes over bright and cheery as always taking us to the secluded table that we always like. “I’m gonna put in y’all’s usual unless you want something else?” We both agree the usual is fine. “Alright. So what book are you reading?” I chuckle as she immediately blushes. “Uhhhh. Well it’s a romance.” (Y/N/N) doesn’t say anything else. Oh no she’s not getting off that easy. Well at least for this conversation anyway. “Hmmmmm,” I lower my voice an octave. “Okay. I’llguess then and you tell me yes or no. Sound good?” The blush deepens. “Yeah okay we can do that but you’ll never guess.” Awwwww this is going to be fun. “ Genre is Paranormal Romance?” She nods. “shifters?” another nod. “I’m going to guess bear shifters? Probably as what Lumberjacks, firemen, forest rangers?” “Yeah forest ranger.” “Okay so now we get to the fun part. size kink?” She jolts upright. “wtf Clark how do you know that?” I have been waiting to say this for a long time. “Because I know you. And you Sweetheart like them Big. Don’t you baby?” Well fuck I think I broke her. It takes her a minute to answer. “I’m not answering that.” I chuckle. “Okay. I can always test the theory. Now back to the book. I’m gonna say lumberjack bear shifter who is also a Dom. Or at least has Dom tendencies. Meets a cute curvy little thing while she is hiking one day and boom. He scents her sweet sugar cookie scent and he knows that they are meant to be. He takes the time getting to know her and they start dating. One night they go back to his cozy cabin where she learns that her big soft bear knows how to play her body like an upright bass. He even sniffs out her choking kink. He tells her how sweet she is. How good she is taking him. And so on. Am I close sweetheart?” She nods as Nellie comes over with our food. I let the food distract her and just enjoy sitting in her company as she eats and reads on her phone. I can smell her arousal. Like honey. Fuck me if I wasn’t hard from talking about the obvious smut book she is enjoying I am now. Achingly so. 

*ding*

(y/n/n) : out of morbid curiosity would you uh like to come over to my place this weekend?

Me: Did me talking about that book get you curious?

*ding*

(y/n/n) answer the question Kent. 

Me: I would love to come over this weekend. 

I can’t help the smirk that plays on my lips. I can’t wait to have her all to myself.

Holy Batmobile. Clark said he would come over this weekend. I am going to lose my mind. The rest of lunch is spent quietly, with Clark sending me heated glances that make my stomach flutter, and me refusing to wiggle in my seat as his words replay in my head. After lunch we hurry back to the office. I head over to my desk and set my bag down and head toward the back stairs. Before the stairs there is a small closet with various supplies, I stop there as an intern frantically rushes by with an overloaded mail cart, which swerves erratically as the big body of Clark trips and sends us both flying in to the closet. The door closes with a thud before either of us can catch it. “I am so sorry!” The intern practically yells as he tries to open the door. “The door is stuck, uhm I will call maintenance.” While the intern calls and talks to them I lean against the wall and sigh. Clark smirks. “What’s so funny Kent?” He doesn’t answer, just takes off his suit jacket and carefully places it on an empty shelf along with his shoulder bag. As he comes to stand in front of me I put my back firmly against the wall. Fuck. Every scene from every book or fanfiction about being locked in somewhere with the object of your desire races through my head. Clark stalks forward with all the predatory grace of a big cat. I’m pretty sure my mind blanks out as he cages me in with his body and forces eye contact. My lizard brain kicks in because all I can think is big he is big. So safe. So strong. So god damn big.

[maxverstepponme]

Wait so is this anon lying?//

if your taking about the first one that said that there’re major inconsistencies in Harry’s case. Nope they aren’t!

There are major inconsistencies in everything him and his wife say. Unfortunately or very fortunately for them barley anyone fact checks what they are saying, and the few people who do so publicly are unfortunately rarely being objective and down to the facts. So H & M get to built their poor us holier than thou victim narrative. The thing is he fucked up big time at the start of their relationship and they rushed like crazy. (Then again he didn’t listend to anyone warning him, and telling him to slow down. To the point where he cut out most of his friends out of his life). He should have introduced her properly to the life by his side and they should have sat down together with other members of the RF, private secretaries etc. To outline their role. Which seeing as everything outfolded the way it did, no one ever did sit them down. (There is as reason why both Chelsy and Cressida bailed on him, besides him apparently being quite a shitty bf, royal life isn’t easy. Public scrutiny is crazy. Will & Kate went through it, Chelsy and Catherine were actually followed and stalked by paparazzi back in the day. I know nowadays there is barley any criticism about Catherine, as the British press found a new “victim” but the things the girls had to endure were truly vile. Back during the first hacking Catherine’s phone had been hacked the most a bit more than 100 times if I remember correctly.)

Then again Harry has always been a terribly entitled man child, back in the day around William & Catherine‘s wedding. He had this truly amazing privat secretary Edward Lane Fox. Built him the whole one of the guys, Hero Harry Narrative. Should be after Vegas, I’m really not good with dates and to lazy to look up the years but damn, he fucked up soo much but everything was basically swept under the rug. That’s why when his book came out in January a lot of friends / former acquaintance anonymously went nothing you say about us / anyone else will be as bad as what we have to say about you.

He was the star back in the day and he got a bit to much into it, ignoring, willfully so, that as much as they all are family they also have public representative roles and he comes second to his brother. And after George, Charlotte, Luis were born he dropped further down the line. I mean the guy said in an interview that he only has so many years left of public interest before his nephews/ niece are getting the limelight instead of him. Man is highly insecure! And the thing is he’s been getting away with it for sooo long. I mean boy doesn’t even know how tax payer funded royal protection officers (RPO) are chosen and who actually gets to use one. He really just had everyone taking care of him and working out his problems, to the point where he doesn’t know how to do it himself.

Btw that’s his other lawsuit about the payed protection, if I don’t get any I want to pay for some police officers. As if one can just “buy” a few police officers. Home office looks into who gets a RPO and who doesn’t. That’s why Beatrice and Eugenie lost there’s in 2011.

Basics this couple just loves to sue people, unfortunately for them they haven’t figured out yet that lies don’t really work at court and that some unpleasant truths might get out. Very unfortunately that it happens to be about stories told in books and Netflix shows that were meant to tell the truth. Then again it seems to be the classic case of my truth, your truth and the things that really happened.

Thank you for this ask! I needed all of that info to understand 😭

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Yeah it’s possible, if you knowing about them isn’t what’s best for your path. Usually if you are meant to be going though a period of self development or focus, the energy between counterparts is less intense because each is spending it on themselves. Which ironically, when you come out of it can make you closer because you are both more yourselves which means closer to one another. Soulmates you may not be aware of at all, especially if they are meant to surprise you. ///

That's it. Since as a kid, i've never been one to rush into relationships like "oh my god i gotta get someone soon" or i'm going to assume that anyone who dazzles me is my soulmate, I always felt like I was meant for someone, i used to say "there's someone out there to me so that’s why i'm not desesperate" when telling my friends about being calm unlike other girls my age who were intense for boys. I think i have to work on things internal and external to be able to receive the soulmate in my life, it's a matter of time. I also think this person will come into my life when I least expect.

In 2021, i used to ask around in tarot blogs about my soulmate, i'd like to discover personality traits or the dynamic with my destined person, but i got all "🙁" when each reader were picking in a different personality (i know we have a lot of soulmates but i specified for them) plus it wasn't like "passing the vibe" you know, the person was totally different, i was like "ah😐. I don't know if i would like to date someone like this" "where would i find someone with this job, if i don't even go to these places" also the description were too vague and cloudy,

i relate the insights of our type of person and soulmate that astrochart can give.

I think of the cherry of the cake, i don't know if you believe it, or if what was said is true but when I went to church (i think is a spiritual place, i don't go anymore but i love God's guidance) and the pastor out of a blue started talking about divination and how we're not supposed to know what's going to happen, about God's blessings that are coming and we have to stop because that can have consequences if we keep messing with it... 👀 i felt called out and slowed down about this, now i only know what i'm allowed to know, and i won't ask here about my soulmate, i will only wait.

It's the first time i open about this with someone. I personally don't know anyone older and wise into spirituality, psychic, intuitive or reader and my family is religious intolerant who doesn't like anything other than God and just God.

there's my dad's stepmother who reads tarot and is spiritual, she was a witch but as I grew up with my intolerant mother who hates her she would laugh if I asked for advices like this, she's also nosy, gossipy, idk i dont trust her to tell things like this lol. Damn, why did it take me so long to send ask to your blog? lol it's good to have you here sharing knowledge for free.

Ohhh a lot to impact

1– you are comparing yourself to others to make yourself feel superior. Your decision to work on yourself and not focus on relationships doesn’t mean that those who focused on relationships were desperate. In fact, by not opening up to relationships beyond the person you think is meant for you, you may have kept yourself back from valuable lessons that would have you appreciate your soulmate even more. Things that would make you a better partner. I’m so happy I dated my exes. Because when someone treats me right, I will really know what that means. I have basic skills of what it means to live with someone, I know more about how to communicate my own needs and how to see what others need from me. I think it’s great you want to work on yourself but I encourage you to look deeper into if you really are content waiting for who you believe is made for you, or if you are scared to put yourself out there and get hurt. Sometimes playing it safe and sitting on the sidelines of life can give you valuable insight but it can also keep you from playing the game.

2– that’s the problem though isn’t it? Why are you so focused on them? That’s you trying to control things. You’re asking to get an answer that you already have formed in your mind is correct. My soulmate is like this… Limited thinking. I’m really glad you noticed this and changed. I’m proud of you. That’s not easy to do. Seeing ourselves clearly can be the hardest thing.

3– I’m glad you feel like you can talk to me here. I appreciate everyone here for their patience and acceptance. I know some of my responses are kinda harsh and direct and thank you for understanding. I mean the beginning of this response I’m like ooo that’s a bit… but like that’s what I’m here to do. I do that with my family and my friends and people I’m seeing too. It’s not something I want to change. I used to hate it because I felt like it made me hurt people and they didn’t like me, they said I’m too much. But now I realize this is my gift. So many people in life go through it without someone to really call them on their bullshit. I’m blessed as fuck to have friends who do. I just have to call shit out when I see it and it’s not me making a judgement of you, always an observation, and you don’t have to agree with it but I still have to say it.

4. I hope you can heal your mother wound. It’s hard. I think one of the greatest things about therapy was seeing the intricacies of the way my parents instilled stuff in me. And now I can see how their parents instilled it into them. Im blessed I have such wonderful people as parents. Both my mom and my dad are genuinely kind and loving people and they are open to growing and changing. I told my therapist today sometimes I feel like I’m watching my parents grow up. It’s peculiar but like sometimes when we talk, I’m like yay mom is finally getting it, or my dad and how he handles things now. I’m just so proud of them. It’s hard letting our parents be people and change and grow too. I struggle to let my mom be different, to realize how she acted when I was growing up may not be how she acts now.

Thanks for sending in so much for me to respond to. I’m rooting for you nonniekins, 2023 is gonna be your year.

[huihuiheart]

The Chef’s In: Hwang Hyunjin

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Stray Kids Masterlist

Pairing: Switch lean Dom! Fuckboy/Friend Hyunjin x Switch lean Sub! Female Reader x Female Character (empty name slot)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Warnings: Smut, CUCKQUEAN vibes(as the f!reader and unmarried), bi!reader, dirty talk, degradation, bondage, kitchen sex...., unprotected sex, cum play, FxF, oral, fingering, spanking, more slight? BDSM, f! reader turning on dom! Hyunjin, switch! Hyunjin, brat taming?, slight pet play?, friends with benefits and maybe some feelings oof, and some poly themes maybe? Fboy vibes, marking (giving), hair tugging, cock warming, sub drop (fem character).

Word Count: 4517

Summary: Soft? turned smutty?..........Oof all I write is filth..........also please someone request some writing I’m dying.......... You break off your friends with benefits deal with Hyunjin when the new girl in town has you catching feelings. Only you’re making your move on the hottie a little too slow for Hyunjin’s tastes and he decides it’s time to intervene, you know as a best friend should. Also as I wrote this Hyunjin kinda just vibed as a fuckboy through the whole thing, sorry not sorry(honestly, it’s kinda hot in my opinion anyways).

I’m going to put a placeholder in for the other girl’s name, that way if it’s popular/if you want I can do a piece from her perspective. 

Taglist: @97lovestay ,

NSFW Below the cut:

“Damn you right she is hot~” Hyunjin chuckles, biting his lip, eyeing up the waitress whose back was currently turned to you. Not that it got him much as you leaned over the table and slapped his shoulder with a huff.

“I didn’t invite you here to check her out fuckboy, I invited you here to give me advice on what to do.” You whined, sinking back into your familiar seat. Ever since the new girl had unconsciously gotten you to crush on her you’d found that one table gave you the best chances of getting her attention, and giving you a good view of her most of the time.

 “Ah yes, so I can give you the same advice I gave you before I even saw her? Isn’t that kinda a waste of breath? After all, it’s not like you’re gonna listen to me anyway.” Hyunjin smirks lightly bringing his glass to his lips as he leans back in his chair knowing you well enough at this point to feel confident in his words, “ You know as well as I do that nothing between you will just magically happen if you just keep showing up to sit in this chair and never truly try to have a conversation with her.”

“But Jinnie~ What if she’s not into girls?” You huff dropping your chin into your palm as you continue to sulk and complain to your best friend who only rolls his eyes at your plight. 

“Yeah and what if she is and she’s just afraid to ask you the same thing? How will either of you get an answer then?” Hyunjin shakes his head a little, “And besides that didn’t you say you didn’t know her name?” 

“I don’t...” You pout slightly, “How would I?”

Hyunjin actually laughs this time reaching over to flick your forehead lightly, “I don’t know idiot, maybe her name tag? Or if she’s introduced herself when she comes to the table after all you eat here every day now, you can’t tell me she’s not even introduced herself once.” 

“Well, maybe that’s the reason why I really brought you, cause I want to hear her name from her own lips without seeming like I was too distracted to catch it before.” You counter like you hadn’t just made that excuse up.

“Sweets I love you, but we both know that was a lie.” Hyunjin starts before cutting off your snarky response with a light kick under the table, “Shut up about her, she’s coming this way now.”

As she walks over she smiles brightly at you recognizing you, “Hey! It’s good to see you again.” She says seeming a little flustered, but it could easily be blamed on the lunch rush that the place experiences every day, before looking to Hyunjin the new face here, “ Hi I’m *name*. I'll be your server today.”

“Nice to meet you~ Y/N here is a familiar face I’m sure, she’s been absolutely raving about this place nonstop for the past two weeks so I thought I’d come to check it out,” Hyunjin smirks at you and if you could kill him with a glare or at least kick him under the table at that moment without risking being exposed with her standing there you would have in a heartbeat. That feeling only bubbled up more in your gut as jealousy flooded into the mix as Hyunjin “innocently” turned his flirtatious smirk and dark hooded eyes onto the waitress receiving a shy almost giggly smile in return. You knew your best friend well enough to know what he was doing though, this was his game plan. Trying to get you heated enough to finally act on what you wanted, but you were stubborn and determined not to make a fool of yourself and so you kept your mouth shut.

“She does seem to really like it here. I look forward to her coming in every day at this point, it’s nice.” She tells Hyunjin, you’re sure it’s directed at Hyunjin and not an invitation, right? The way she looks right into your own eyes, voice going soft at the last two words as if they hold more meaning than just it’s nice makes you wonder though. She doesn’t seem to push though when you stay quiet, making you think that perhaps you were just being hopeful as she takes your orders. When she walks away again Hyunjin looks at you like he’s done with your nonsense entirely.

“Are you serious? That was literally an invitation and all you did was stare at her?” Hyunjin freaks out leading to you aggressively shushing him before someone could hear his dramatic ass, “ I don’t understand, why didn’t you just say something.”

“Because Hyunjin, what if it was just an invitation to be friends?” You sigh softly, finding yourself looking down at your hands in your lap, and Hyunjin can’t help but ease up as he sees the war you’re having with yourself.

“That’s how we started out though, as friends and then it became more.” Hyunjin tries to calm your fears slightly, not wanting you to keep hurting yourself by bottling up your feelings like this.

“I know, but Jinnie...I don’t want that with her. I don’t just want to be friends with benefits only to be cast aside whenever someone catches feelings for someone else and have to pretend like I’m happy for them when they’re in someone else’s arms. I can’t do that...n-not....n-not again.”

 You reveal your feelings to him after the fact now. Well, maybe not entirely after the fact. Perhaps you did still have some feelings for Hyunjin, after years of them building up in your heart and soul it wasn’t like a new crush and your own self-doubts would easily remove all of what you felt for him. After him stopping your arrangement more than once to chase after someone he liked seeking something more permanent than whatever you had thought, you decided that maybe it was time for you to try the same. 

Hyunjin’s face falls slowly as he registers your words and their meaning, before placing his hand out, palm up for you to take if you chose to, “Y/N, you didn’t have to be hurt. You don’t have to be still. If you had said something I would have gladly been more than just friends and benefits, now you’ve found a great girl though. Don’t do this to yourself again. Don’t let fear control you like this when you could be with someone and in love.”

 “I-I’m just not sure if I can Jinnie, I’m sorry.” You sigh softly taking his hand though and letting it ground you through the sudden onslaught of your feelings, a slight reassurance. 

“I’ll help you, you know I will. You’re stuck with me at this point no matter what, even if it means I have to swim through an ocean of your tears to actually physically get to you.” Hyunjin teases your fragile nature slightly, but only in hopes of getting a small laugh or at least a glimmer of your usual bright smile. Upon receiving that and a small nod he smiles a little bit in return. “How about in my usually outgoing manner figure out if she’s into girls for you?”

“You mean using your fuckboy charms. I don’t mind as long as you don’t seduce her and then steal her away.” Your nose scrunches in mock disgust at the thought.

“No, no seriously, I was going to invite her to like hang out with our group. Like, get her around more as a friend. Not that I’d mind tappin that, but I’m not going to do that to you. I mean unless that’s what you’re into.” Hyunjin playfully wiggles his brows with a smirk.

The squeak and flustered expression you react with has Hyunjin rolling with laughter, “ Hwang Hyunjin! Since when do I divulge that kinda information? Besides, I don't feel like giving you thoughts to get off on.”

“You never give me that information, I just manage to figure it out, 'cause you’re bad at keeping secrets. Your face gives too much away after all.” Hyunjin chortles gesturing to your face as he does, “I’m certainly not opposed to the idea of that though, you know if you and pretty little *name* over there become a thing and decide you want some dick.” 

Your exasperated expression didn’t dissuade his laughter, “You really are that filthy huh? Guess your reputation wasn’t all rumors.”

______________

To say you were frazzled would be severely understated. Hyunjin had managed to charm your crush into accepting an invitation to hang out with your friend group at your place and meet more people in the area, spread her wings and potentially make some friends. Of course, now that meant that your crush was going to be in your home this afternoon and you felt that no amount of preparation would be enough. 

“It’s the same as the last 8 times you checked on it.” Hyunjin teases watching you check the food you had in the oven again, it was only in there to keep it warm at this point now, “ I told the guys to leave a little earlier, but play it off so that way you can be sure to get more time with her. I’ll stick around for a little bit in case you need my help again.”

“Oh yeah, because you were such a help last time.” You roll your eyes at his teasing, not missing a beat as you respond back a little snippy. Of course, that only makes this seem even more amusing to Hyunjin.

“I mean, you didn’t listen to my advice and I still got here to come over today, so I think it was,” Hyunjin smirks, snatching up a cookie that you had already set out for when people got here. Laughing at your scolding and quickly running to get the door as someone knocks, glad to be able to use it as an out. 

Having the others there certainly helped diffuse your nerves, though you couldn’t shake the flustered feeling that still had you in its grips whenever your crush was around. In fact, it seemed as though it was getting worse the longer she was around, letting you get to know her more and letting those feelings blossom, attracting more butterflies fluttering chaos into your stomach. Staying even as most of the others left and even offering to help clean up. So now here you were, washing the dishes with her at your side drying them while Hyunjin cleaned up the counter, continually making gestures at you to finally make a move whenever you glanced over at him. Finally losing his mind when you don’t actually do anything, sighing and deciding to take matters into his own hands.

“Okay, you’ve danced around this enough.” Hyunjin huffs before leaning over the counter towards her to grab her attention away from drying the dishes, “Y/N likes you, and she wants to take you on a date, but she’s letting fear get the better of her.”

Her cheeks heated up, turning to a light pink as she looked between you two before settling onto you, “Oh...you do?”

You give a shy nod, “I do, but if you’re not into women that’s okay. I wasn’t quite sure how to ask without putting you on the spot.” 

Your admission makes her chuckle and shakes her head, “Oh no, that’s not the problem. I don’t care about that one bit. I just must have read something wrong, because I thought I’d put together that you and Hyunjin were fucking. That’s all.”

“I mean we kinda were, but not in a relationship kind of way.” Hyunjin openly admits causing both of you to fluster even more while he remains unfazed, “Just a friends with benefits thing since we were both single and people can be frankly...not worth it a lot of the time.”

Hyunjin’s revelation had made her blush even more, but she hadn’t run off so that was a good sign at least, “ Well I guess that means we have that in common too because I don’t only like women.” 

“Yeah, I guess we do.” You agree before getting quiet again, Hyunjin rolling his eyes and making his way around the counter. If he really had to take matters into his own hands, then fine...he would. 

He pulls your crush away from the dishes and pins her to the counter before looking back at you, “If you want to date her. To fuck her. Then come prove that. You gotta do something Y/N.”

You stared at him in shock, frozen in place. Even hearing the way she practically whimpered out Hyunjin’s name from her position you were too stunned to move. Instead taking the situation in not sure how to act, even if you were jealous. Though who exactly were you jealous of you weren’t sure, perhaps both of them?

“Oh?” Hyunjin looks back at her pinned like that with a smirk, “Looks like Y/N might not be the only one you have a crush on now hm? Or does the thought of putting on a show for her just appeal to you that much?” 

“Maybe a little of both.” The flustered girl in his arms quietly answers and now Hyunjin is looking at you again.

“Did you hear that? She wants to put on a show for you, what do you say Y/N?” He fishes for your feelings now, willing to say all kinds of things to fluster you both but mindful of the emotions weighing on the current situation. 

“You’re gonna leave me out?” The slight panic in your question makes Hyunjin laugh, finding this almost too easy.

“Never sweetheart, but if you want to play then you’re going to have to get up the courage to do something to get it. After all, I’ve been telling you that’s the only way to get results, haven’t I?” Hyunjin lays out the rules for you before leaning in to give some attention to the woman he’s pressed against now, kissing down her neck. Making sure to choose the side that wouldn’t block your view as you watch her head fall back, eyes fluttering. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand.” You squeak out with an eager nod, already becoming fully enthralled by the scene before you again.  

Hyunjin’s hands toying with the hem of her shirt to give you little teases of the skin hidden underneath as his mouth gets more aggressive against her neck, possibly even leaving marks in his wake. Hyunjin truly plays to get at your impatience and jealousy trying to work you up as much as possible to get you to act. Rocking on your heels as you lean to get a different view, Hyunjin finds it amusing how you’re still there while your crush is rather distracted at the moment. Hyunjin pulled her shirt off and tossed it in your direction, quickly followed by her bra, leaving marks where you can see now as his hands squeeze her boobs. He doesn’t spend much time on that though, lifting her up onto the counter.

“Doesn’t she look pretty? Don’t you want to come play too?” Hyunjin asks, watching you take a few tentative steps forward as he pulls her pants down now, getting on his knees between her legs, tsking softly as you nod your head, “You’re gonna have to speak up then. Come on you can do it can’t you?”

His attention is pulled away from you and back to her as her fingers weave into his hair and tugs, “Shouldn’t you be focused on me right now?” 

“Awe, look how soft your voice was. You’re trying to be like a little jealous brat, aren’t you? But you’re too much of a good girl to know how. That’s cute. You did actually speak up though, unlike someone...so I guess I should reward that.” Hyunjin concedes to her wishes seemingly easily, but it wasn’t hard to tell who was actually in control with the way she’d been melting since the very first touch. 

Of course, you’re not the only one he intends to tease here, not when he’s having so much fun with that kind of control. Licking over her panties before blowing softly on them, spreading her legs further to give himself better access and show off a little more to you. Hyunjin smirked at the way she squirmed from so little as he continued to tease through the only thing still covering her. Both of you watch how she arches, pushing her hips closer to Hyunjin as he pulls back to remove her panties, tossing them in your direction after. Something you could easily catch, taking in how wet the material is now knowing it was mostly from her and not Hyunjin who had returned to teasing her.

“See how wet she is? She tastes so sweet too...but you’re over there doing nothing instead of here making her feel good.” Hyunjin tsks, continuing to speak between flicking his tongue over her clit, “ Guess it’s a good thing I’m here then, otherwise she’d be pretty helpless without you doing anything at all for her.” 

She yelps as Hyunjin pulls her closer, standing again, placing her feet on the ground, and turning her around. He bends her over the counter, hand in her hair to make her look at you. Pushing in and pinning her hips between his and the counter, leaning in real close to her ear but speaking loud enough that you can hear anyways.

“Let her see your face as I fuck you, show her that I’m the one making you feel this good and not her. She could have it if she wanted, but she’s just standing there cause she knows I’m doing so much more than she could.” His hips start to move, making her moan out, clawing at the counter looking for anything to ground her. You were burning up with embarrassment and jealousy, but to say this didn’t turn you on far more than you had anticipated would be a lie. 

As amazing as the view was watching the two of them fuck, Hyunjin’s confident dom side paired with your crush and her sweet, shy, submissive side was something you’d never get out of your mind. Fire and ice mixing in a perfect storm and you weren’t sure which side was drawing your attention more. What you did know though was that you were tired of just watching. If Hyunjin wanted you to get involved then that’s what you were going to do. He didn’t seem to notice you moving, too pussy whipped at the moment to realize, she noticed between his distracting her but knew to keep her mouth shut as you schemed how to make Hyunjin regret playing this game with you. Returning to the kitchen you slam down the chair you had in your hands to get his attention.

Hyunjin slows, but doesn’t stop fucking her as he raises a brow looking between you and the chair, “What’s that for exactly?” 

“You.” You don’t hesitate to answer, stalking over to him and grabbing him by the hair, pulling him away from her and towards the chair, stopping her with a glare as she moves to follow, “You stay there.” 

As you sit Hyunjin down you tie his hands behind the chair, checking they were secure before leaving him to go to the woman still bent over the counter. Landing a smack to her ass before slipping two fingers in, staring directly into Hyunjin’s eyes as you picked up the pace he had been going earlier.

“You had your fun Hyunjin, but it’s over now. Let me show you how to really please a woman. I would suggest you take notes, only it seems as though that would be a little challenging for you right now.” You kiss the dip of her spine before moving lower, nudging her thighs until she spreads them more, but it’s still not enough. Using your free hand you help guide her to put one knee up on the counter to give yourself full control, moving down to your knees to suck her clit into your mouth. 

“Fuck! Y/N! It feels good!” She calls out to you and hearing her praise along with how she said your name like this for the first time only adds fuel to the fire burning inside of you. 

“Good, let yourself feel good baby, take it all in, and cum whenever you want. Show Hyunjin that there’s no reason to tease a good girl like you when giving you what you want has such pretty results.” You encourage her, though this is your way of teasing Hyunjin now, giving him a taste of what he had been giving you both. Though you knew it was meant for you and he was doing it at the poor girl’s expense, not that she had complained too much about the teasing besides an occasional whine. 

Still, she had earned this and you couldn’t wait any longer to give it to her. Though you know it would only add to the dreams you had about doing things like this with her, making her cum leaving you all the reality of how she looked and sounded and not just what your mind had conjured up. Looking back at what you had thought up, it didn’t even come close to comparing with the real thing. 

You walked away while her legs trembled against the counter while she went through the aftershocks of her orgasm. Grabbing Hyunjin’s chair and dragging it closer to her. Moving her off the counter to sit back onto his cock, letting out a whine while Hyunjin moaned at getting some pleasure himself again. You kept her hips still for a moment before trusting her to stay like that while you stripped, before going to where she had been on the counter and spreading your legs for her.

“Be a good girl and keep his cock warm baby, don’t give him anything else though. I want you to focus on thanking me for making you cum pretty thing.” Your hand rests on the top of her head, barely guiding her as she doesn’t hesitate to put her mouth on you. Her eyes are large and unwavering as she looks at your face, eager to please as she kisses over your clit occasionally sucking on the sensitive bud.

“I’m not the only pretty one here...I bet that’s especially true when one of you is cumming too.” She speaks up again, but her voice still carries that soft shyness to it. Only it’s slowly fading some the longer you three are enjoying your time together like this. 

“Oh? Well, then why don’t you find out?” You encourage with a smirk as you tug her hair, making her tongue dart out between your folds, experimenting with your entrance to see if that’s something that would make you feel good too or if her focus should return to your clit again. The way you moan is answer enough for her, tongue curling into you as she presses closer, nose brushing against your clit to bring you the most pleasure possible. Your eyes lift to meet Hyunjin’s as you hear him moan as well now.

“Oh, you should have felt how tight she just got around me. She’s loving this. Loves dedicating herself to everyone else’s pleasure.” Hyunjin licks his lips looking over the both of you from where he’s trapped, unable to do anything for himself, “She feels fucking good, you know how to pick them well Y/N.”

“Don’t tell me you’re about to bust already Hyunjin? Just from her sitting on your cock? Are you that desperate to get it wet? That as soon as it happens the pleasure makes you crumble this fast.” You can’t help but pay him back for his words earlier, especially when you can read all the signs showing just how close he is to cumming just from this. Though you weren’t far behind him. The woman between you both shudders as Hyunjin cums inside her while you cum in her mouth only a moment later.  

You move to untie Hyunjin’s hands, getting him to help you with the other girl, though you three weren’t done yet. You push Hyunjin into position enough to let him know you were in charge. Having him go to your bedroom and lay back on your bed, you have her straddle his face while you straddle his hips facing one another. 

“Go ahead baby, have a seat. He wants to be a tease so it’s time you just take what you want. After all, that’s what I’m gonna do.” You tell her as you drop down on his cock as it starts to harden again, “Besides he made a mess, the least he can do is clean it up for you.”

She follows your lead and Hyunjin’s hands pulling her down onto his mouth, reaching out to squeeze your boobs, before moving to pinch and roll your nipples between your fingers, “So pretty.”

You chuckle at how fucked out she is already, snatching up her jaw and causing her to whimper against your lips as you bring her in to finally kiss her, “Are you going to be able to last baby? Or should we stop after this one?” 

“I can handle whatever you want to give me.” She answers back and for the first time since you’ve started her voice hasn’t come off as soft but is instead sure of herself. When she said this she meant it and it had you smirking.

“Good, because we have lots of time to make up for baby.”

__________________________________________________

“She looks so calm,” Hyunjin comments, stepping back into the bedroom, one towel around his waist while another dries off his hair. Your crush had barely managed to stay awake long enough to get help washing up and come back from a drop, and now she was passed out on your bed.

“She does, but I’m worried about how she’ll be doing when she wakes up again.” You agree, speaking quietly from your spot seated at the foot of the bed. Trying your best not to risk waking her up.

“Yeah, we should have talked about things more ahead of time. We stuck to the mostly safe stuff today though. So just stay calm when she wakes up, and I’ll be here to help.” Hyunjin responds, joining you in your spot, “Now come on we promised her cuddles.”

You nod in agreement, following behind him to move up the bed so the three of you could all curl up together to call it a night, “So what does this mean for us?... I mean... like for all three of us?”

“Don’t worry about that right now. We can discuss it in the morning once we’ve rested and eaten to recover. Whatever the answer though... we’ll make it work. I promise.”

[danses-with-dogmeat]

Male!Companions react to waking up alone after spending the night with Sole.

Hey all! So, just a heads up, I’m also working on this prompt for the Female!Companions for FO4, and also a bunch of companions from FONV and FO3, but if you have any specific requests or want me to add anyone, just let me know! Sorry this is so damn long, but I hope you all enjoy!

Also, there is a bit of angst in here with some mentions of suicidal thoughts, so just a heads up on that! 

P.S. If you’re one of the lovely folks who has sent me an ask, I am currently working on writing them up and I will definitely get them out as soon as I can, I just really like the prompts y’all gave me and I want to do them justice :)

Danse:  

     Danse sat up with a start, immediately trying to gain his bearings, only to find himself still in the bunker, in his own bed. He let out a shaky breath, still dazed from the heavy sleep that had claimed him. It had been years since he'd slept like that, the last time he recalled sleeping so peacefully was when he was stationed at the Citadel in the Capital Wasteland. Even more than that, he had barely slept at all since discovering his true identity. Danse shook his head, trying to clear it of its sleepy fog, he went to rub his eyes, and he felt his heartbeat increase tenfold as the memories of his night with you came flooding to the forefront of his mind. Even now he felt the heat of a blush rushing to his cheeks. He turned his head, expecting to see your peacefully sleeping form on the mattress beside him. When he didn't, he wasn't sure what to do. Immediately, a slew of emotions and thoughts ran through him, ranging from shame, to panic, to anger, and most of all, hurt. Before he allowed himself to arrive at any premature conclusions, Danse called out for you, looking around the room. Nothing. He stood up, holding the blankets around his waist to conceal himself as he made his way to the hole in the wall that allowed him to peer into the other section of the bunker. Still nothing. The slew of contradicting emotions bubbled up again, leaving him feeling slightly numb. He stood there, just staring, trying to grasp a hold of any clear thought, but they were inadvertently tumbling into his consciousness at an alarming rate. 

All at once, one feeling prevailed over the others, and Danse found himself feeling extraordinarily guilty. Guilty for agreeing to last night, for jeopardizing his friendship with the one person he had left in his life by greedily pushing too far. What right did he have to you and your feelings anyway, when his weren't even real? The pain of being deserted by you was overshadowed by the knowledge that he didn't deserve you in the first place. Even when he thought he was human, he had trouble rationalizing his feelings for you, thinking you deserved better than someone like him. Someone as hard headed, as inexperienced, and emotionally ignorant as he was. But now? Now, he wondered why you even bothered to waste any of your time on him, even just as his partner, when it was proven that he's nothing but a machine. Why had you even suggested last night, when you knew the truth about him? 

He simply couldn’t understand it. Why had you allowed him to be with you in such a way? To be with you so intimately? Why had you allowed him to touch you so invasively? Why had you spoken to him so softly, so earnestly? How could your gaze have been so full of admiration, of love? He was a goddamn machine, and you’d let him share a bed with you, make love to you. He didn’t even know what love was, didn’t know if it was possible for him to even feel it; and yet, you’d been more open with him than he had been with anyone before. And he wasn’t even human. He was at a complete and utter loss for any form of explanation or reasoning behind your actions. 

Danse stood alone in the bunker, staring ahead with brows furrowed low at no single thought in particular. It was then that he realized his heart was still beating out of his chest, he took a deep breath, and prepared himself to leave the bunker in search of you. Because, even now, when you were at the center of his feelings of uncertainty, of guilt, of hurt, he still felt the need to seek the counsel of the one person left he could truly trust, the one whose opinions he had sought in the darkest hours of his existence. He needed you. 

More than that, he needed to make sure you were safe. At least that's what he told himself as he dressed, donning his power armor, before he rode the elevator up to the surface, his iron-clad hands clenching tightly as he gripped his laser rifle. 

As Danse arrived at the surface, he noted the sunlight bursting through the lone window of the bunker, indicating how late he'd slept in, and he mentally kicked himself for his irresponsibility. If he had woken at his usual hour, would you have still been beside him? Perhaps he could've spoken to you before you left, encouraged you to hear him out, begged you to stay with him. Even just as a friend, just as a partner. He felt he simply couldn’t cope with the loss of you, of the security that you provided him. 

 Danse shook his head in an attempt to banish these useless thoughts from his mind. He couldn't control the past, he had to keep looking forward. With that, he crossed the threshold out into the Commonwealth.

Danse returned to the bunker a few hours before sundown, feeling utterly at a loss, he'd been everywhere he could reach, everywhere you could've gone in the period of time you had had to get there. He checked every house, farm, settlement… everything in the bunker's vicinity. His limbs felt weak and numb as he approached the entrance to the bunker. He could feel heat rising up in his face as his chest ached. He felt like he needed to hit something. Tears of frustration and dejection threatened to spill over, and he brought a gloved hand up to roughly wipe away the first drop that fell. Though, through the blur of wetness, he spotted a silhouette in the doorway ahead of him.  

     "Where the hell have you been?!" You shouted, running from the bunker and straight into Danse's arms. For a moment, he remained still, unable to reciprocate your relief in his state of utter shock. In the next instance, his rifle fell from his grip and he was wrapping his arms around you, as tightly as he could without injuring you. 

    "I believe I could ask you the same question, soldier." Danse said, willing his voice to remain stable. You pulled away so that you could look up at him, your expression one of confusion,

     "I thought I told you last night. I had to go to Greentop nursery in the morning and talk to the settlers about their mutant problem." He blinked at you in surprise. At least, you thought you had told him, but maybe it had slipped your mind. It didn't surprise you, given last night's activities. 

     "But… Why didn't you wake me?" 

     "Because Danse, I've never seen you sleep in, I wanted you to get some rest for once." 

     "I would have rather been with you." He said quietly. You opened your mouth to speak, but he continued, 

     "It was irresponsible of you to leave me uninformed, you should have woken me. You scared me, Sole. I thought…" he took a quick breath to steady his voice, "I don't know what I thought. I woke up and you were gone, I wasn't sure if you were in danger, or if you were angry with me, or whether or not you even meant to return."

     "Danse, of course I was going to come back, I just didn't expect you to be gone when I did."

     "And for that, I apologize. However, I implore you to understand--"

     "Danse. It's okay, we're both here now, we're both safe. And I don't know about you, but I'm starving. C'mon." You turned towards the bunker and went to make your way inside. Danse stood a moment, watching you walk away. Feeling began slowly returning to his limbs, and for the first time all day, his heartbeat slowed to its normal rate. He reached down to pick up his rifle, a small smile spreading across his lips as he moved to follow you back into the bunker.

Deacon: 

     Deacon opened his eyes, only to immediately close them again, as the bright morning sun showed through the windows of Ticonderoga safehouse, and directly into his retinas. 

“Damn,” He said, reaching over to grab for his shades from beside the mattress. Once they were placed onto his face, he decided it would be safe to open his eyes once again. Deacon groaned as he rolled his shoulders, and sat up, stretching his arms overhead. 

God, he felt good. The tightness of his muscles serving as a reminder of the… ahem, events of last night. Last night, with you. How the hell had that happened? He almost couldn’t believe it. After so many years of being alone, of feeling emotionally inept, and unable to move on. Here you came, seemingly out of some sci-fi novel, with your futuristic, time-traveling backstory, and inhuman good looks, and for some reason, you’d thought he was, of all things, cute. That was the word you had used, he remembered it vividly, and of course he had feigned being annoyed by the use of the word to describe him, but in reality? He adored the fact that you thought so. No one had ever referred to him as such, and the fact that it confirmed you reciprocated the feelings he had for you; that was truly extraordinary. These feelings that he had tried so desperately to bury deep down, where they couldn’t meddle with your friendship, or your professional relationship, or his own crippling fear of being committed to someone again (given how well it went the first time). Now, he barely understood why he had tried so hard to snuff out his emotions if this was one of the possible outcomes of revealing them to you. He never dreamed that you could have returned the affection he had for you. However, if last night was any kind of indicator… yeah, he’d say the two of you had pretty strong feelings indeed. 

At least, that’s what he had thought. Until he turned to you excitedly, looking to see if you had woken yet, and found your spot next to him quite empty. His jaw clenched at the sight, but he took a breath and resolved himself to looking around the safehouse for your belongings. His teeth worried anxiously against the inside of his cheek as he noticed the distinct absence of anything belonging to you. Deacon stood in the middle of the safehouse, bringing his hands up to roughly rub at his face.   

“God dammit.” He said aloud, unable to keep something from escaping him. Deacon liked to think he had a good bit of self control, it came with the job after all, a spy with no sense of restraint and proper judgment didn't live very long. However, you had this way of making him forget everything he thought he knew about himself. There he was last night, doing the one thing he vowed he'd never do again. Falling for someone. Him! Deacon, the immature, sarcastic, dishonest, and unemotional agent of the railroad; and here he was, head over heels for a widowed, pre-war saint like you. What a pair you two would have made. 

I suppose it really was too good to be true. He thought bitterly.

Deacon grabbed his things and set off into the Commonwealth without so much as a glance over his shoulder. He stared dead ahead, refusing to address the pressure he felt in his chest. Trying desperately to maintain his cool and unbothered exterior, to remain the type of person he was before he'd met you. He always knew he could change the way he looked in a day or less, but the way you'd changed his perspective of the world, of his place in it, and his future? He didn't think you could have changed who he'd turned out to be if you had all the time in the world. Deacon was firmly set in his ways, so much so, that even he couldn't change who he was. No matter how much he despised himself at times. But man, had he been wrong, all the disguises in the world couldn't mask the fact that, for the first time in years, Deacon had a priority in his life besides the railroad, and besides himself. And that scared the shit out of him.

 Now he wasn't really sure what to think. If you had simply wanted nothing more than a one-night stand, you could have just told him so. At least then he would’ve been prepared for this shit. For you leaving him, seemingly without a second thought.

The sniper shook his head roughly as he kicked up the dust of the wasteland, his footfalls much heavier than they had any business being. He always had prided himself at being a good judge of character, at being intuitive, but he never would have expected something like this from someone like you. Someone who cared about the happiness of everyone else more than their own well-being, someone who was kind, and selfless, and empathetic, someone who constantly put their own life at risk for the benefit of complete strangers. Sure, he did that occasionally, but his life was worth a hell of a lot less. You were a good person, and always had been. From the moment he saw you, everything he heard about you, all of it pointed to the fact that you, even after all you’d lost, after everything you endured, you were a better person than he could ever hope to be. And now, for you to do this to him? It was completely out of character. Whatever, he thought, if this is all you wanted from me, then fine. It's all you're going to get. 

As he approached the Old North Church, Deacon mentally prepared himself for the possibility that you too would be at the Railroad headquarters. He decided to simply not acknowledge your… ordeal, and act as though nothing had changed. Though, if Deacon was honest (which he rarely ever was), he would rather not have you as his partner anymore. With the way he was feeling-- the way he had once felt about you, it would be too complicated. He didn’t need complicated. The railroad missions provided enough of that. 

He entered HQ quietly, and mulled about, visiting with the others and picking up missions left and right in an effort to acquire enough distractions to keep him out of the church for as long as possible. He figured that way, the likelihood of bumping into you would be decreased enough for him to get a handle on himself before having to face you. But, of course, his plans were all for naught, he realized as you stormed into the catacombs, your glowering eyes falling directly to the bald sniper in the corner of the room; the sniper who was trying desperately to make himself seem distracted as he felt your eyes burning into the back of his head. At least you had the decency to lower your voice as you approached him, 

“Deacon!” You hissed, shouting his name as quietly as one could shout. 

He continued staring at the blackboard, a hand at his chin as he feigned interest in what was written there. 

“What the hell?” You asked, taking another step towards him, close enough that he could feel your hot breath on his cheek. 

“Hmm? Something wrong?” He asked, turning his head towards you while his eyes stayed glued to the board in front of him. You took a step back, and the next thing he knew, you had extended your hand forcefully towards his face, leaving a stinging red mark imprinted on his cheek in its wake. Deacon’s head snapped back towards the blackboard at the power of your blow, his sunglasses barely managing to hang onto his face by the bridge of his nose.  

I’m not sure if I deserved that or not…

He brought his own hand up to rub the spot you had just slapped, finally letting his eyes meet yours from beneath his crooked shades. He nearly gasped at your expression. Your eyebrows were knitted together above your tear-filled eyes, your mouth a straight line as your chin trembled slightly. He’d say you looked sad, but behind your eyes, all he could see was fire. The same fire he’d felt when he saw that you had deserted him that morning. Or, at least, when he thought you’d deserted him. 

Almost without thinking, Deacon grabbed your hand and dragged you back to the more private area of the railroad HQ. Despite your clear vexation with him, you allowed him to lead you to the back of the church catacombs, near the emergency exit. 

“Alright, you finally ready to explain yourself?” You asked, wrenching your hand from his grasp.

“Me? I’m pretty sure it was you who walked out on me, and who just slapped me in the face for asking a simple question.” Your nostrils flared at that and for a moment, Deacon thought you were going to do something violent again. 

“Okay, look, I know I’ve fallen for your lies before, but I think it’s pretty damn ridiculous for you to think that I’ll believe this one. I was there, Deacon! You left me. You took all your shit and left me alone at the safehouse. I don’t care what happened the night before, even if it was awful for you, or awkward for you to see me in that way, or whatever, you still don’t abandon your partner. We agreed to that the moment I became an agent.” 

Deacon’s jaw dropped to his chest at his realization, and your accusation. He had left you? When? How? When was he supposed to find that out?

“Look, Sole, I’m a liar, I’ll give you that. But I’m a good one,” you rolled your eyes at him, a scoff sounding from your throat, “so, I wouldn’t even attempt to lie to you if I could see that you absolutely knew the truth.” 

“God, if you’ve got a point, make it, asshole.”

“Ouchies, no need for name calling there, slappy. I’m just trying to figure out the miscommunication issue we’ve got going on here.” You glared at him, and he was forced to continue. 

“The truth is,” Deacon looked down at the floor as he spoke softly to you, feeling as though the words were being wrenched from his throat, “I only left because I thought you had first. I woke up, and you were gone. Your things were gone. I thought that was it, that you were done with our… partnership. Done with me. And hey, I can’t say I’d blame you. Especially if you’d really think I could just up and leave after spending a night like that with you.”

“Oh.” you whispered, before trying to explain yourself, “I wasn’t-- I didn’t just leave, I mean, I went up to give High Rise the MILA for Tom. I was gone for five minutes, Deacon. I was coming right back.” The two of you stood a moment, as realization washed over you. And a bit of regret, too. And a sprinkle of foolishness. 

Finally, he brought his gaze up to meet your eyes. Hoping his apology was as evident on his face as it was on yours. You brought your hand to his cheek, soothing over the angry red mark that you had left earlier, and Deacon flinched slightly at your touch, his eyes falling once again to the floor. 

“It really only took you five minutes to think that I had left you?” You asked gently, the anger that had once been prevalent in your voice dissolving into concern. Deacon chuckled dryly.

“Haven’t I taught you anything? When you assume the worst, it’s a lot harder to be disappointed.”  

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. But I bet it makes it all the better when you find out you were wrong.” Deacon smiled weakly at you, shaking his head. 

“Yeah, no. I’m not seeing the appeal in being wrong just yet.” The hand that still rested on his cheek slid to the back of his neck, grasping firmly as you pulled his face towards yours. The pressure of your brow displaced Deacon’s shades as you crashed your lips into his. He toppled backwards against the wall of the catacombs as you pressed more forcefully into him, his arms falling behind him to steady himself against the cold brick, as your unoccupied hand slunk up to his chest, keeping him pinned between you and the wall. You pulled your head back, but kept your hands in place as you murmured, 

“What about now?”

“Hmm?” Deacon’s ginger eyebrows raised above his glasses as his mind went blank. You cocked an eyebrow at him, a smirk forming on your face. 

“Oh, right. I suppose so. Though, I think I’m gonna need a few reminders every once in a while.” 

“Hmm,” you mused, “I think that can be arranged.”

Hancock: 

     The ghoul awoke with a purr, stretching one ruined arm out to blindly search for your sleeping body. He distinctly remembered curling up with you wrapped tight in his embrace before lulling off into the best sleep he's had in years. For the first time in months he didn't have the nagging ache of wishing you were pressed against him as he settled in for the night. The thoughts of you lying so close but so painfully out of reach were finally pushed from his head to make room for the sheer bliss of being able to touch you, to feel your unbelievably soft skin, to breathe in your sweet scent and relish in the closeness of your body against his. 

That was of course, until this morning. Hancock opened his eyes lazily, his dark gaze sweeping over the mess of bed sheets and pillows that littered the plush mattress. The sight of the disheveled blankets bringing back heated memories of last night. Before his brow furrowed at the realization of the current situation he found himself in. Hancock slowly rose from the bed, his dark eyes searching the surrounding room for any sign of you. He found his trousers, his hat, his coat... but nothing of yours remained where they had been tossed last night. If Hancock had a nose, it would have been curling alongside the rest of his scrunched up face as he thought of you leaving in such a hurry this morning. Hancock felt a pain in his chest and immediately craved a hit of something, anything, to numb the hollow feeling that began spreading through his body. 

     Sunlight shone through the windows of the old state house, the beams of light diffused by the ringlets of smoke rising from the ghoul's mouth as he took yet another hit of jet, trying hard to keep his mind blank, but inevitably failing as his thoughts returned to last night's events. Coming almost in slow motion, he picked apart every movement; every touch, kiss, lick, and caress, nitpicking every action he had made and thinking about what he might've done to warrant your desertion of him. But deep down, he knew that his actions mattered little. You had assured him on numerous occasions that him being a ghoul didn't bother you, but you had never really seen him before. Not in the way you saw him last night. Had never felt his rough skin on yours, had never run your hands up his ravaged body, the softness of your touch only amplifying the harshness of his own leathery flesh. You had never uncovered the gross discoloration of his radiation-ravaged body. But last night, you had finally gotten a good, long look. And here he was, thinking that you of all people could’ve seen past that. You had been able to forgive him for his past, after all. Hadn’t you? But maybe that had been part of it too. Maybe you’d finally realized all that he really was. A reckless and cowardly poor excuse for a man, who spends his life in a haze of delirium rather than facing the pain of being alive. A pain that he had inflicted upon himself to break away from that same self-righteous fog that he’d found himself in in the first place. It’s no wonder you’re gone. Maybe you were never even really here. Maybe you were just another daydream of his, just another hallucination. God, if that was the case, he didn’t even know what he would do. After having you so close, being with you like this? He didn’t really see the point in living without you.  

Hancock sighed heavily at the thought. He didn't know how long he sat simply thinking, his perception of time temporarily altered by the jet, but he had to do something to alleviate this torture, and if chems wouldn't do it... well.... 

  "I need some air," he rasped aloud as he stood and headed for the balcony, donning his coat and hat on his way out. The mayor had to keep up appearances, after all. 

He almost didn't see you as he stepped through the door, the way you leaned out against the rail, eyes closed, a soft, beautiful smile playing at your plush lips. Hancock could've stared at you until the world around him turned to dust, but you moved long before that musing could come to reality. Turning to look at him, your smile brightened further, and Hancock couldn't keep himself from touching you. He grabbed one of your hands in his, using his other to caress your pink-dusted cheek, affirming that you truly were physically there, standing in front of him. 

     "And what were you doing out here all by your lonesome? Trying to give a ghoul a little taste of heartbreak?" You let out a soft laugh, 

     "No, sweetheart," you called him affectionately, leaning into his light touch upon your cheek, "I thought that you would sleep longer. I just wanted to get out and enjoy some sunshine." You turned once again towards the morning sun, the rays highlighting every one of your perfect features. Hancock beamed at the sight of you, before turning and looking out at his city in thought, 

     "Hmm," he mused, "Sunshine, huh?"

MacCready:   

      MacCready had been lying on his back for a while now, staring at the crumbling ceiling of the dingy little room at the hotel Rexford. This certainly hadn’t been his idea of an ideal location for your first time together, but who was he to complain? It was safe, and private, and it had been a damn good night. But he’d been staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours, waiting for you to stir. He’d thought it was odd, given the fact that you always woke up first when the two of you traveled together, but he’d like to think you hadn’t yet stirred because of the way he had exhausted you last night, his chest puffed out at the thought of it and he let out a contented sigh. The thoughts of your night together spilled into his consciousness, and he stretched out his arms in front of him, snickering slightly at the soreness of his body, and suddenly, he couldn’t wait for you any longer. 

 “Geeze, you awake yet, sleepyhead?” MacCready rolled onto his side to face the lump under the covers. He ran his hand over the mattress, over to you, but as he reached the lump beneath the blankets, all he felt was plushness. He withdrew the covers from atop you, only to find… pillows? Just a pillow, and a blanket. MacCready’s body spasmed as he jolted out from under the covers on his side of the bed, his head flying from side to side as he looked for you. 

“Sole?” He cocked an eyebrow at the empty hotel room, and as he noticed your absence, his expression quickly changed from confusion to one of anger. You had left? But why? Had he done something wrong? He didn’t think so… but maybe he just... wasn’t everything you expected from him. Feeling like he’d been punched in the stomach, MacCready climbed from the bed, grabbing his trousers from the floor and stomping around the room in pursuit of the remainder of his clothes, not failing to notice how everything belonging to you was no longer in the room either. Heat rose to MacCready’s face as he pulled on his duster, but he wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment, or anger, or heartache, or some combination thereof. 

What the heck? He thought, you were the one to suggest doing this, why would you do that if you were just gonna leave me like this? Right when MacCready had thought he’d found the one. The person who could help him move on from Lucy after everything he’d been through. You were perfect, not just for him, but for Duncan too. You were selfless, and kind, compassionate, resourceful, sometimes you were a bit of a sarcastic ass, but he loved that about you. You were a parent and a spouse, just like he had been. You were both lost, and broken when you found each other, just a couple halves that had made each other whole. You were his future... Or so he’d thought. But who was he kidding? You were so out of his league, the two of you weren’t even playing the same damn sport. He should’ve known this would be the outcome. But then, why the heck did you let it go this far? Sure, he was the one who had poured all of his feelings out onto the table, but he didn’t know what he’d expected you to do. He just felt like he would explode if he held them in any longer, especially when the two of you spent so much time together. He saw you every damn day, and all he wanted to do was hold your hand, he wanted to sleep beside you and hold onto you through the night, to have you run your fingers through his hair and tell him that you felt the same way. MacCready never imagined you’d do something like this to him, never thought you’d get his hopes up, dangling the future he'd always dreamed of having right in his face before ruthlessly snatching it away. 

He rolled his eyes at his own ridiculous train of thought and groaned as he bent down to grab his rifle. 

“At least you paid for the room up front.” he mumbled as he placed his hat on his head and made his way to the door.

 MacCready’s footsteps fell heavily onto each stair as he headed down to the lobby, wondering where he’d go from there. He considered going and looking for you, but what was the point? Clearly if you wanted to see him, you wouldn’t have freakin left. Was he really petty enough to seek you out just to tell you how messed up it was that you’d left him the way that you did? Maybe… but he needed a drink first. To the Third Rail it was, then. What was it, 10am? He could drink at 10am. He could do whatever the heck he wanted, especially now that you were gone. 

MacCready reached the bottom of the stairs, looking straight past the small crowd of people that were gathered in the lobby as he made his way to the exit. Just as his hand reached the door, he heard his name being shouted. His body shuddered at the sound of your voice, and he stood stock straight as he decided what to do. One fist clenched as the other hand pushed the door open and he crossed the threshold into Goodneighbor. The door never closed behind him, and he felt an iron grip on his forearm as he tried to head towards the Third Rail. 

“Ow, hey!” He spun to face you, face slightly contorted in his confusion. What was he supposed to think now? He was still angry and hurt, but should he be? Ugh. 

“Wait, Mac. I know how it must’ve looked, but really, it’s just a misunderstanding.” He stared at you, his deep blue eyes clouded with suspicion. He didn’t say a word, not wanting to ruin anything by making false assumptions or accusations. Instead, he waited for you to explain, wrenching his wrist from your grip as he folded his arms over his chest. 

Before you could continue, Rufus came up from behind, asking quietly if he could go through the doors. 

“Come on,” you urged, “let’s get out of the doorway.” You herded MacCready to one of the couches in the lobby, seating yourself next to him. 

“Alright. Explain.” He said, brows still furrowed. You almost snickered at how put-out the sniper seemed. You couldn’t quite tell if it was an act or not, but knowing MacCready… yeah, probably not an act. 

“Rufus was having some trouble with Drinkin’ Buddy.” You told him, “The bot shut down and no one could get him to turn on again. This morning, some sort of warning light started flashing, so he came up and asked if I could help him fix it. I would’ve asked you to come along, but you were still asleep, and I know how you hate being woken up…” You trailed off, waiting for him to say something in response. 

Man, MacCready felt moronic. Why had he been so quick to assume the worst? Okay, maybe not the worst, the worst would’ve been… Well, that’s not important. He shook his head, finally letting himself breathe deeply again. 

“You sure that was it?” He asked, uncertainty coating his tone as he narrowed his eyes at you. 

You leaned forward, smoothing a hand up his chest to the back of his neck as you brought your lips to his. Your fingers fiddled with the hair at the base of his neck and held him to you as your mouth moved against his, trying to answer his question without having to use your words. This was better, anyway. You felt a hand move to your waist as he relaxed into the kiss, his strong grip pulling you nearly into his lap as he returned your fervor. Only when you needed air did you pull back from him, your heartbeat still racing as you watched his gorgeous eyes flutter open. 

“Did that answer your question?” You asked cheekily. He smiled, face still pink from the heat of your kiss. 

“I don’t know, boss, I may still need some more, ah, reassuring.” You snickered at that, and glanced back at Clair’s desk. 

“Any more convincing and we may need that room again. You think if we go now, we won’t have to pay the hotel for a second day?” 

God, I think I’m in love. MacCready thought as he nodded to you, a boyish grin spreading across his lips. At that, both of you scrambled off of the couch, quickly making your way towards the stairs and up to the hotel room.

Nick: 

     The synth didn't sleep, but he didn't mind it. He stayed awake beside you in bed, replaying memories of the night over and over in his mind. Although he wasn't sure how comfortable it could be, he had his arms curled around you, holding you tightly to his synthetic chest while the memories of his favorite night (in either of his lifetimes) were running through his mind. You snored softly in his embrace, utterly at peace, as he gazed affectionately at your soft features. Nick didn't often feel blissful, and he never would've imagined himself in this situation, being completely content with the person he admired, and adored so adamantly, safely wrapped in his arms. He should've known it wouldn't last. 

Without a sound, he felt as you slowly and gently pried his arms off of your body, climbing off of the shared mattress. Nick figured that you would give him an explanation; perhaps once you were out of bed? When you went to go and dress yourself? Before walking through the door? But you were silent throughout, even as he heard the door click shut behind you. Nick closed his eyes tightly, sighing to himself and wondering if the pain in his chest was substantial enough to cause him to short circuit. What had he done wrong? Even if it was nothing, he would understand why you had left. Even at his best, Nick could hardly amount to what any average human could give you, and he could never give you everything you wanted. Everything you needed, and deserved. He wasn't real. So he wouldn't blame you for leaving, hell, if he hadn't been so caught up in his own blissful feelings, he might've encouraged you to go. And he had, before last night had truly begun, he recalled asking you if he was what you really wanted. Then, you had seemed so eager, almost laughing at the thought that he couldn't be enough, after all this time the two of you had spent together, and all your pining over him. These thoughts circled through the synth's mind as he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. He willed himself to grab a file and get to work, to do something, anything, to distract himself from the pain, but it was as though the weight in his chest was too much to bear. The height of his earlier high only amplifying the depths of his current low. 

     Every attempt to look through a case file was a failure, his yellow eyes roaming the first few lines of writing before his mind drifted off. To thoughts of where you could have gone, whether or not you would come back, and thoughts of last night. At the way you made his pistons fire at triple times their normal rate, the way you made his metal heart flutter in his chest, and the way you had come so beautifully undone in his arms. That was it. The moment he needed to remember for the rest of his days on this ruined earth. At that very moment, nothing else seemed to matter. He was sure he'd been foolish before, thinking you could never care for him in such a way. How foolish he'd felt then... it was nothing compared to now. The synth brought his metallic hands up to his face, the tips of his fingers displacing the worn hat on his head. He imagined tears flowing from beneath the heels of his hands as he dug them into his eye sockets, but of course none came. Would that have been acceptable? If he had been able to shed real tears, like a real human being, would you have stayed after last night? If he had been able-- 

The door to the agency burst open at that moment, interrupting the old detective's thoughts, and sending his head shooting back to see who had busted in so aggressively, his hat flying from its usual place atop his head. 

The fact that the synth couldn't breathe didn't matter in this moment as he huffed a massive sigh of relief at the glorious sight of you, the light of the early morning sun casting a warm glow around your body. 

"Oh doll..." the words escaped him as a smile began to spread across his synthetic lips, "for a moment there, I thought you were an angel." You giggled at that, your flushed smile causing the whirring in his chest to increase exponentially. 

"I can't tell you how glad I am to see you, I was just about to open up a missing person's case on ya." You finally closed the door and made your way to his desk, leaning down to give his cheek a chaste kiss as you smoothed your hand over his chest, stopping to grab at his tie and pull him up towards you. 

"Always the professional, hmm detective?" You smirked at him and he gave you a crooked smile before bringing his good hand up to stroke his thumb over one of your soft cheeks. 

"Although," you continued, teasingly bending down to pick his hat up from the floor, "your uniform doesn’t seem to be up to the usual standards." 

"Oh? Is that what you think?" He said, reaching for the hat before you held it behind your back, a mischievous grin forming on your lips, 

"Sure is. You don't have your hat.”

“Oh? And whose fault is that?” He interjected playfully. 

“And” you continued, “look at this coat, full of rips. It’s practically in shambles." you ran a finger down his side, allowing the tip of your fingernail to catch at the tiny holes littering the worn fabric.  

"Hey now, my coat's always looked like that. You didn't seem to find fault in it when you were cold last night." You shook your head, 

"Nope, I'm sorry Mr. Valentine, it's all in disarray, I'm afraid we'll just have to scrap the whole thing." 

"Well now, if that’s what you were after, you could've just told me, darling. No need to insult--" His sentence remained unfinished as you tightened your grip on his tie, pulling him in for a kiss that was anything but chaste. He had so many questions left unanswered, but for reasons unknown, he couldn't seem to think of a single coherent inquiry to voice to you in this instance. Looks like it will just have to wait until later.

Preston: 

     Preston felt uneasy. His eyes had opened slowly when he had awoken, his heartbeat had remained consistently calm, dapples of sunlight shone through the holes in the curtains beside the bed, indicating that he had slept through the night. Why did everything feel so… so peaceful? No nightmares, no panic attacks, the usual insomnia Preston tended to face in the wee hours of the morning had never reared its infuriating head. 

Then he remembered. 

It was all because of you. Amazing, incredible, infallible, irresistible you. Heat flooded to his face as a coy smile touched his lips. Suddenly, he felt he had to be near you, he had to see you to believe what his mind told him had happened last night.  

“Mhm, good morning," he sighed, as he turned to face your side of the bed, "how are you-- ?" Preston's eyebrows creased as he noticed your absence, his voice trailing off as he realized his question had no recipient. 

"Sole?" He sat up, rubbing his awakening eyes before glancing around the room of your Sanctuary house. 

"Sole?!" Preston said, louder than the first time. Perhaps you had simply gone to the washroom? Or to the kitchen maybe? Rising from the bed, Preston fetched his trousers from the pile of clothes that rested at the foot of the bed, trying not to dwell too much on the thoughts that it inspired. 

But... only my clothes are here. He reflected, feeling a pang in his chest, before reminding himself that you might want to be clothed, wherever you’d gone, even if it was just in your own house. He released a bit of his anxiety in a quick breath, before heading for the bedroom door, he opened it gingerly, glancing down the hallway before making his way to each of the rooms in search of you. He did so slowly, hesitantly, in fear of what he might find. Or, rather, afraid of what he wouldn't find. 

Preston stood in the empty kitchen, numb, his fear utterly realized. He collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table, afraid to let himself think, but unable to do anything else in his current state. Why, why, why did he have to act on his feelings for you? He just had to tell you how you made him feel, he had to be vulnerable and had to “put himself out there.” He just had to be intimate with you, he had to ruin everything. Why couldn’t he have just been happy with the way things were, with you as his friend? There he was, his life in danger, unable to help the people who needed him most, the Minutemen in complete disarray after having failed those they vowed to protect, and there you were. Here to save their asses, to turn his disaster of a life into one full of hope, full of light, and now, you were gone. You had left because he was an inarticulate, inexperienced, greedy, fool of a man who couldn't keep his mouth shut and just settle for having you as his general, and as his best friend. Why had he needed more? He didn't deserve more, not with you, hell, the whole damn world didn't deserve you, so how did he ever think you could want to be with him? 

But you told me you did. You said you cared about me and-- No. Actions speak louder than words, and your absence after the first night you two had spent together… that spoke volumes. 

Maybe you finally realized that I'm nothing special. Not compared to you. Maybe you realized that, next to you, and without you, I'm nothing at all. Preston balled a fist and pounded it weakly against your worn kitchen table, the dull thud resounding through the empty house. He sighed, sliding the chair back with a groan as he rose to his feet, heading once again to the back of the house. Entering your room without you felt like a crime, but he figured he might as well remove his things, and put on the remainder of his clothes, before leaving.

He stared down at the pile of tousled fabric at the foot of the bed, slowly untangling each individual article, secretly hoping that, if he took long enough, you would eventually make your way back into the room. That you would give him some inconsequential excuse for your absence, and he could forget all of the confusion and uncertainty of the morning. As Preston gingerly began to re-dress himself, thoughts came unbidden to the forefront of his mind. The way your soft, gentle fingers had undone each of the buttons of his shirt, the pressure tickling his neck, then his chest, down his stomach to his naval, your hands wasting no time as they moved upward to push the silky material off over his shoulders. He recalled the feeling of the smooth fabric of his scarf, as it unraveled slowly around his neck, a chill creeping onto the sensitive skin before you had chased it away quickly with the heated touch of your sweet lips. He remembered the breathy gasp that had escaped from you as your hands grasped tightly at the lapels of his coat, his mouth colliding with yours over and over again as his mind screamed for him to stop, to slow down, to ignore the fire blazing beneath his skin. 

This is your general! It had told him, this is your friend, your recently widowed friend, your friend that you desperately need to keep in your life! If you screw this up, how will you ever be able to forgive yourself?

He should have listened to his head then. Why hadn’t he? Preston was sure that, if he had, it would have spared him from the awkward discussion he was bound to have with his superior officer in the near future. It certainly would have saved him the pain he was feeling now. 

At the same time though... Last night had been the best night of Preston’s life. Did he really regret having those memories now? Yes, he had to. After all, what did last night matter if it hadn’t made you happy? 

Preston shook his head, releasing a breath he was sure he’d been holding since he left the kitchen. Pulling up his boots, he grabbed the remainder of his things and left the room, glancing back at the empty bed one last time before placing his hat atop his head and pulling the door shut softly behind him.

The beams of morning sunlight chased away the fog that had settled in the streets of Sanctuary, bits of bright blue sky peeking through the gaps in the clouds. Looks like it’ll be a nice day. He thought somberly, trying desperately to perk himself up, lest he bump into any settlers on his patrol. He wouldn’t want to worry anyone with his troubled expression, and he certainly wasn’t prepared to answer any questions about his current state. Preston started towards the bridge, planning to begin his patrol of the perimeter from there. He was so focused on his destination, he nearly failed to notice the hand waving him down from the side of the street. When he did turn to look, his breath caught in his throat. 

“Sole!” He exclaimed, much too loudly, as he noticed you, nearly dropping his laser musket. A wounded settler was seated on the curb, you were kneeling next to him on one side, wrapping a bandage around his arm, with Sturges standing on the other, an empty stimpak in hand. As soon as he processed what he was seeing, the Minuteman lieutenant tried desperately to compose himself, a blush inadvertently creeping up his cheeks as his eyes met yours. He adjusted his grip on his musket, and cleared his throat, trying to hide his embarrassment.  

“Is everything alright over here?” He asked, making his way over to the group, “What can I do to help, general?” you gave him a small smile, assuring him everything was alright, and finished tending to the settler who, as Preston found out, was a new arrival who’d run into a pack of mongrels on his way to Sanctuary. When they were all certain the settler would be okay, Preston quietly asked the general if they had a moment to talk, much to Sturges’ amusement. 

“I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it, then. And don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” Sturges slapped Preston on the back as he passed by, snickering to himself. Preston felt heat rising to his face again and quickly motioned for you to follow him behind the house, hoping to get a little privacy. He took in a sharp breath, before releasing it slowly, and you smiled warmly at him. That’s a good sign, I suppose.

“How are you feeling?” He asked you quietly. Your eyes looked past Preston, almost as though you hadn’t heard him, and he felt a pang in his chest. Turning your head slightly, you glanced to either side, ensuring no one else was looking on, before turning back to him, looking into his eyes as a flush touched your cheeks. 

“If I’m honest?” you started, and Preston’s breath caught in his throat, “I’m a little sore.” you said with a little smile, and Preston felt his knees wobble as his legs nearly gave out in relief.  

“Heh, if I’m honest, me too.” He said, shyly looking down at his feet as he felt heat rise to his cheeks. “So, about that,” he continued, “last night, I mean. Did you, ahem, did you like--”

In an instant, your lips were on his own. The kiss was soft, but forceful, affirming all that Preston was uncertain of. 

“Last night was… amazing, Preston.” You told him after you had pulled away, your hands resting on his shoulders, keeping his body pressed to yours. 

“Then, when you left this morning ... ?”

“Sturges was looking for you when he found the settler on his patrol this morning, but he obviously didn’t find you in your bed, so he came to find me and--”

Preston groaned, an embarrassed smile forcing its way to his lips, 

“He didn't see anything, did he?” You giggled at that,

“No, honey, he didn’t see anything.” You rolled your eyes playfully, before pulling at his shoulders, urging his ear to your lips, “But someone did. And I hear they really liked what they saw. You know who it was?” you whispered. 

“Who?” you heard him breathe.

“Hmm, you really don’t know?” You sneaked a peek at his face, noting the goofy grin that spread all the way to his warm, chocolate eyes, and you couldn’t help but lean further into him. Preston drew an arm around you, his hand on your lower back, keeping you anchored to him, and all apprehension following this morning’s events seemed to be forgotten.  

“You might just have to remind me.” He said cheekily, pulling you into another kiss.

X6-88: 

     The tightness in his chest was the least of the courser's worries as he woke to find himself utterly alone. You were gone, that, he knew. But where-- no, how? How had you woken and readied yourself without also waking him? 

He never should have agreed to last night. Not only was it completely inappropriate, given your future position in the Institute, but it had distracted him from his main duty. The most important mission he'd ever been assigned: to watch over his charge, to keep them safe. To protect you. He had grown distracted, and now you were gone. The future director of the Institute, someone he respected and idolized, a person he cared about, more than anyone he'd ever come across in his existence, was just gone. His loyalty to you was akin to his loyalty to the Institute itself, and that was non-negotiable, unbreakable, hard-wired into him. You had won his devotion on your own, which made it that much more meaningful. And that much more painful when he realized that you might not feel the same loyalty for him. But why would you? And why did he care? He was allowed to feel allegiance towards you without you needing to return it, was he not? But … if you had felt this loyalty for him, you surely wouldn't have left him alone, correct? At least that's what it seemed like, but X6 wasn't particularly knowledgeable when it came to this subject. He didn't know, these thoughts confused him, and normally you were the one to help him make sense of his more... human tendencies and emotions, but clearly in this instance, he was on his own. You had treated him like no one ever had, like a real person, and so he thought he could start acting like one. Feeling like one. But he was wrong. X6 wasn't wrong often, and he hated the feeling. In his current state, every feeling he had was a negative one. He decided to shut it out. These feelings weren't helping him protect you, which was still his mission, reciprocated loyalty or not. Sitting around, contemplating his emotions didn't help him to find you. 

  The courser sat up and climbed off the mattress, grabbing his clothes that he had folded neatly beside the bed last night, noting that only his were present. After you had fallen asleep, X6 had untangled his body from your own as gently as he could, so as not to wake you, and had placed your clothes beside the bed in preparation for the morning. He had retrieved his courser uniform from the floor, with the intent of dressing himself and sitting on watch for the night, but you had stirred, sleepily requesting he return to the space beside you. He remembered hesitating, before folding his coat and placing it on the table beside your own clothes and doing as you had asked. Sliding beneath the covers, he had laid on his side, placing an arm around your waist. He remembered wondering if what he had done was correct, if he was doing this all right, but you had seemed happy, and that was all that mattered to him. So, if he had done nothing wrong, why had you left? Taken your clothes, and your bag, and your gun, and vanished without a trace? And when had he started caring about your happiness? Your health, and your safety, yes, he should certainly care about those, given the nature of his orders. But now he cared about how he made you feel. He wanted you to be happy, and he wanted to be the one to make you feel that way. But why?

X6 shook his head, attempting to clear it, and grabbed his rifle from the top of the dresser. It was distracting thoughts like these that had forced him into his current predicament, he wasn't about to make that mistake again. Placing his shades onto his face, he prepared to head through the door, and out into the wastes to search for you.

  X6 surveyed the surrounding area outside of your home in Sanctuary: the gas station, Abernathy farm, Tenpines bluff, even the inside of Vault 111. Yet, there was no sign of you. He returned to Sanctuary and found your house still empty, the hollowness growing in his chest as he realized that your leaving really had been intentional. Elsewise, he would have stumbled across you, or some sign of you, by now, right? He stood in your old kitchen, his knuckles paled at the death grip he held on the edge of the counter, his jaw clenching as he tried to hold his emotions at bay. 

How could he have agreed to last night? And why would you have presented the idea if you had meant to do this to him in the end? With a groan of frustration, X6 pounded a hand against the countertop, leaving a small indent in the shape of his fist. Not only had you left him, you had done so without warning, without explanation, and now he couldn't find you. He couldn't find you. That's what he did, he was a relentless hunter, a cold pursuant, he completed all of his missions efficiently, he followed Institute protocol, he followed orders. What he didn't do was get wrapped up in human emotions, he didn't throw caution to the wind and give into his most base desires. He was a synth. He didn't yearn, or want, or love. Or at least he hadn't. 

Not until he met you. 

The courser sighed, fists still clenched in frustration. He didn't know what to do, you were his mission, but if you commanded him to leave--? But you never actually had ordered him away... In his eyes, there was only one option for him to consider.

  "Unit X6-88, ready to relay back to the institute. Alone." 

   A flash of blue, and he was back. No one asked him to report in, and he didn't offer. He started straight towards the SRB, wondering what the consequences would be for his behavior. A memory wipe would be the best outcome, especially if... Oh. But if they saw the memories from last night, what would happen to you? 

X6 stopped in his tracks, turning quickly to go up the stairs that ascended to the residential portion of the Institute. Once again, he was at a loss. He didn't want to lose those memories, but more than that, he didn't want anyone else to see them. You were the first person he's ever met that treated him as a human, saw him as one, made him feel like one, and he couldn't bear the thought of what the Institute scientists would say about you, say to you, or do to you, if they saw what you had done with him. The courser looked down at his feet as he walked quickly, moving instinctively towards your quarters. He turned down the hallway, and recoiled at the figure that appeared as your door dragged open. X6’s eyes widened beneath his shades, and he cleared his throat to keep himself from gasping in surprise as your eyes met his. 

"There you are! I was wondering when you would finally turn up, I finished with the meeting hours ago. I was just about to go out and look for you. Don't tell me you slept in this late?" You said with a grin that spread all the way to your glorious eyes. X6 couldn't form words, he just stood gawking at you, his mouth half open, looking like a complete fool. Right, the meeting with Father. How had he forgotten?

"Is everything okay?" You asked, your smile being replaced by an expression of concern. The courser didn't answer, he still couldn't keep his thoughts in order; instead, he stepped forward until his chest pressed against yours, urging you to back into your quarters. You did so rather hesitantly, a confused expression causing your brows to crinkle. When the door had closed behind him, X6 slowly reached out his arms, wrapping them tightly around you, just as you had shown him last night, he pulled you to his chest and held you firmly. The warmth of you, your soft hair and sweet scent calmed his strained nerves, and he finally allowed himself to take a deep breath and close his eyes, just for a moment. As quickly as he'd initiated it, he pulled away from the hug, squaring his shoulders and straightening his posture, 

"I'm glad you're safe, ma'am/sir."