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xiaodejunletsact · 4 years

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i still love you | zhong chenle

word count: 17, 367

genre: high school!au, basketball!player, angst, fluff, you are a bet au??? lol idk 8 letters!au

warnings: lots of angst, playing of emotions, mentions of panic attacks and sex.

authors note: im finally back!! with a chenle fic!! okay so,, i wanted to thank everyone who loved 8 letters, the reaction to that fic was better than anything i could’ve ever imagined, so thank you so much!! this is like a chenle version from the same universe. but most importantly: i decided to put songs in some scenes to enhance the experience while reading, you don’t have to but if you want to listen to the ‘soundtrack’ of this fic click the ‘🏀’!!!!! please enjoy!!

synopsis: high school can be complicated. thats why when your crush of three years, zhong chenle, approaches you out of nowhere offering to drive you home you are right to question his intentions.

🏀

You can hear the loud thumping of your heart in your ears as you watch the players dart across the court. The squeaking of their sneakers against the polished floor as they furrowed their eyebrows in concentration. Well… as he furrowed his eyebrows in anticipation, you wouldn’t know about the rest of the players on the court because your eyes were focused on one boy in particular. Number 22, Zhong Chenle. Your crush since sophomore year and soon to be captain of the basketball team (even if this is your personal opinion you’re 87% sure of it). The boy had caught your eye when he first smiled your way back in 10th grade and offered to help you with everything since you were new, leaving a stamp on your heart that would mark it as his own for the next years to come. Of course, you hardly ever spoke to him, too nervous and clumsy to even think of approaching someone so out of your league but there was something about his crinkly smile eyes and fluffy hair that got a hold of and never let go.

Which is why you find yourself seated at the school’s bleachers watching the basketball game like you did every week, hands clutching the sides of the bench as you watched Chenle get the orange ball passed to him, and the scene plays in slow motion.

Sweat drips off the tips of his newly dyed blond hair as he gains impulse with a jump, shooting a perfect three pointer and deeming the game of victory for his team. You proudly smile as you watch his teammates cause a ruckus around him, cheering and hitting him occasionally. However, your mood dampened as you watched Chenle escape the clutches of his team, running to the side benched where Ava, (the bitchiest girl in school but also his girlfriend), sat. He leans down to peck her lips, only to be stopped when she holds her hand up, pushing him away with a disgusting, “you’re sweaty!” He looks dejected for a second, before forcing a smile and turning back towards the team. You wonder if you’re the only one who noticed the interaction, you wonder if you’re the only one who cares enough to want to march down there and tell her off. You huff, instead opting to march your angry way to the entrance of the gym starting the trek home. Wondering if Number 22 will ever be yours like you desperately want him to.

It’s funny how much of your life you could dedicate to one person without any sort of reciprocation. You felt almost embarrassed as you shoved yet another letter into an envelope that increasingly got thicker and thicker with every burst of your emotions. You see, every time your feelings for Chenle got too strong to bare you would write short letters about how you felt, obviously, with no intention of Chenle ever getting his hands on them, just for your own catharsis. It helped, most days.

Today is not one of those days.

“Uh huh…” you said absentmindedly at your friend, Donghyuck , who tries to explain to you what intricate contraption they are building in this week's robotics class. However, you’re too busy looking over his shoulder at Chenle who laughs half heartedly at something his friend says, before going serious once again. You furrow your eyebrows and say, “have you noticed anything off about Chenle?”

Donghyuck sighs, knowing he has lost you once again. Nevertheless, he humors your narrative turning to watch the boy in question along with you. “I mean… he is kind of down.”

“Right?” You reply, shutting your locker and clicking the lock. Donghyuck shrugs.

“Maybe it’s because he broke up with his girlfriend this weekend.”

You stop dead in your tracks, “He did what?”

Donghyuck nods, (like it’s not a huge deal!) “at the party you missed this weekend, they got into a big fight and he told her it was over and stormed off.”

“A-and you didn’t think to tell me this?” You respond to which he just shrugs.

“It’s not like you had a chance with him anyway.”

“Ouch, Donghyuck .”

The words stung, of course but you knew Donghyuck was just being realistic with you, never one to lead you into things that could only hurt you in the future.

Donghyuck says something after that, that you don’t quite catch but you guess it’s fine since you didn’t really want to listen to him right now anyway.

Especially since Zhong Chenle just caught you staring at him and is now staring just as intensely into your eyes as you were to the side of his face.

You don’t know what kind of glitch you go through that you are unable to form any type of reaction or look away. Instead just kind of… freezing.

He brings up a hand and slightly waves in your direction. A kind smile on his face.

Oh no. He actually sees you.

Before you can even process it, you realize that you're running down the hall in the direction opposite to him. Out of the back door of the school, heaving as your heartbeat reaches 3000bpm.

🏀

Recalling the memory as you walk to the bus stop that afternoon causes you to slap your palm against your forehead once again. “What was I thinking? Now Chenle is really going to think I’m a freak.”

You couldn’t believe yourself, kicking the gravel underneath your sneakers in frustration you beat yourself up over having ruined the only interaction that could’ve possibly been your chance to win his heart. It could’ve been the last time he ever looked your way again, and you wouldn’t blame him.

But it wasn’t.

Because just minutes after, like a miracle from heaven, you hear the roar of an expensive car engine near you before hearing his angelic voice call the syllables you thought you’d never hear him say: “Y/N!”

Wide eyed, your snap your head to the sound of his voice only to see him through the window of his shiny million dollar car. He smiles and you feel like running again. He notices. “Wait! Don’t go!”

You hear the buckle of his seatbelt being undone and watch in shock as he jogs around the car and suddenly he towering over you with a sweet smile. “Hi.”

Say hi back! What are you doing? “Uh- I- uh- Hi?”

He chuckles, looking down at his shoes before looking into your eyes once again. “How you doing?”

“I’m- im good.” You stutter.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The silence that follows makes you want to get swallowed up by the ground and never see daylight again.

Chenle notices how you avoid his eyes and chuckles once again, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Well, um, I just saw that you were walking and wanted to know if you wanted a ride.”

“In your car?” You ask in a quiet voice. Chenle laughs.

“I mean, yeah. Unless you want to rent bikes from the tourism center.” You allow a small smile to grace your lips briefly before remembering the circumstances you currently found yourself in. Chenle (Zhong Chenle, Number 22, Yes. Chenle.) has just offered you a ride in his fancy car. The same car you watched him pull up in for two whole years. And he wants you to get in it.

The millions of scenarios that go through your head as to why this could be happening but as you painfully remember today’s events, you realize what this is about.

Chenle shoves both his hands in his jean pockets as he awaits your answer. “...So?”

You breathe in deeply, “Listen, um, if you’re doing this because you feel bad about earlier or something, please don’t.”

Chenle’s eyebrows furrow together and he comes closer to you. “That’s not the case at all, I just saw you walking all by yourself and thought to offer you a ride home.”

“But you drive past here every day and you’ve never offered me a ride before?” You question out loud, wincing as you realize that you could possibly sound creepy for knowing where he goes in the afternoon. “I mean- you always drive in the same direction as my bus stop! So I see you!” You feel how clammy your palms are rubbing against the harsh fabric of your jeans. “Speaking of the bus, I should probably go before I miss it.”

Just as you turn to walk away, Chenle’s hand grips your wrist where your sleeve has ridden up, allowing the first skin to skin contact you ever made with him. Your eyes widen at him and he lets go immediately, awkwardly. “I guess I was focused on other things, but now I’m focused on you.”

In the fever dream that was Zhong Chenle flirting (?), and the insistent drumming of your heart in your ears you come back to only realize you were moving into Chenle’s car. (The doors opened upwards!)

The boy took the liberty of opening it for you, closing it once you were settled in. You took the moment he was walking to the driver’s side to take in a deep breath and compose yourself.

What the hell is going on? Why Zhong Chenle talking to you? Why is he driving you home? Why did he tell you he’s focused on you? What? What does any of this mean?

Before you could begin pulling your hairs out in frustration, Chenle’s door opens and he plops down onto the driver’s seat. He looks over at you with a smile as he fastens his seatbelt, “Buckle up.” You do so quietly, biting your lip to prevent any further embarrassment.

The drive begins with little to no talking, the only thing filling the silence being the constant humming of the air conditioning and static of the radio.

“Do you want to listen to something?” He presses his pale fingers to the glossy touch screen in between you two. Soon enough, a soft beat travels through the ambience of his car. You see from the corner of your eye that he looks over at you and smiles, but keep your nervous eyes on the road in front of you; Chenle faces the road once again, tilting his head to the side in a gesture that you would find unbearably cute any other day makes you want to open the car door and jump out into the street, running away from the awkward silence and the confusing thoughts plaguing your mind.

Chenle leaves after promising to pick you up tomorrow morning, you can only nod your head rapidly and run into your house, afraid that he would be able to hear the loud beats of your heart.

Once the door of your room is closed safely behind you, you finally breathe for the first time this afternoon. “What the fuck? What the shit? What the hell?” You mutter to yourself as you pace around the room.

Could it be that your dreams are finally becoming a reality? Had Chenle seen you the way you saw him this entire time?

The one sided crush wasn’t as one sided as you thought! Is what you wanted to think, but there was part of you that questioned where his intentions lie due to the abruptness of the situation. What if there was an ulterior motive behind his actions? No. Chenle wouldn't do something as bad as play with someone’s emotions like that? Right?

As you lay in bed pondering the thought you decide it's best to ask him tomorrow.

You wake up 30 minutes earlier the next day, showering thoroughly and waiting in the living room so as to not make him wait too long to leave when he arrives.

This moment comes while you’re sitting at the table with your family, your eyes widen as you hear the knocks on your front door. “I’ll get it!” You stop your mother from reaching the door as you run to it.

Chenle smiles politely as your face appears from inside the house. “Hey.”

You smile back nervously, “Hi.” You proceed to stand at the doorway for a few awkward seconds before your mother comes to see who it is. She is pleasantly surprised to see someone of the male species there in front of you.

“Oh?” She says, smiling at him then looking at you suggestively. You try to convey a silent plea to not embarrass you before she looks away to shake Chenle’s hand. “Hi! I’m Y/N’s mom, are you one of her friends?”

Chenle smiles at her sweetly, “Yes, I am. I’m actually here to pick Y/N up for school.”

“You’re taking Y/N to school?” Your mother’s shocked face is enough to tell Chenle that it was probably the first time anything like this has happened to you.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Your mother sends you a sly smile that she thinks Chenle doesn’t notice before nudging your arm. “Then what are you doing standing there? Don’t make him wait!” Your groan and rub the spot on her arm where she pushed you as you go upstairs to grab your backpack.

Downstairs, Chenle accepts your mother’s offer of entering your humble home. Your house is a modest abode with strange decorations hanging up on the walls, along with pictures of your family. The living room looks like an orphanage where mix matched furniture goes to live. There's one pale green couch, one beige and one a bright yellow. Chenle thinks back to the pristine state of his own living room, the pure white furniture and modern, classy decorations hung up on the marble walls. He realizes that it is nothing like his own, in fact, he doesn’t think it could’ve been more different but he finds that he likes it. That it feels homey compared to his usually liefless house. It’s the kind of place he would stay in for a long time.

Chenle shakes those thoughts out of his as soon as they appear, remembering why he was doing this in the first place, he couldn’t risk getting attached.

“Be honest with me.”

Chenle startles upon hearing your voice above its normal shy muttering. You, on the other hand, are shaking in your shoes having practiced what you would say and thought over doing this millions of times last night. “What are your intentions? Like, it’s not that I think you’re a bad person or anything but I just don’t understand because of the suddenness.”

Chenle averts his eyes from the road to glance at you, smiling. He faces forward once again sighing slightly. “Okay, I’ll be honest,” He starts, you sit up straighter and involuntarily lean toward him. “I think you’re really cute, I always noticed you at my games and the way you would cheer me on was really endearing and it encourages me a lot.”

The butterflies that erupt in your stomach with his words are undeniable. “You noticed me?” Your quiet voice is back, still, he hears you. He smiles, and it’s genuine.

“Of course I did,” he says, “And i know that it was very… sudden but if you give me a chance i would really love to take you on dates and maybe… more.”

He sounds slightly unsure of himself. Rubbing the leather of his wheel with his hands.

Your mind is mush. Chenle likes you! He thinks you're cute and he noticed you at his games! What is life?!

“What do you say?” he says after the awkward pause in which you freaked out.

‘No’ is not a word in your dictionary.

The cycle continues throughout the next week; Chenle picks you up every morning (never forgetting to bid your mother a good morning) and takes you home every afternoon (always politely rejecting your mother’s offers to stay for dinner), always spilling banter in the car, learning about each other. Chenle notices how you open up to him and he likes it (though he can’t really pinpoint why), he likes talking to you, and laughing with you and he finds himself wanting to be around you more often. Though this wasn’t initially part of the plan, he figures he can enjoy it until it had to end.

The thought makes an eerie feeling rise in his chest, even if he doesn't know why, he thinks things will be a lot harder than he planned.

🏀

It’s friday when Chenle invites you to come watch his basketball practice.

You had imagined this scenario in your head plenty of times before but not once did you think you would ever actually be here sitting on the players bench watching up close as Chenle maneuvered across the court along with the rest of the players. There was sweat dripping off the tip of his blonde hair which made him look 10 times more attractive than he already was and you have to stop the drool that threatens to leak from your lips as he sits down next to you on the bench. “Hey.”

“Hi,” You reply, trying to keep yourself together.

“Practice is over.” Chenle says motioning towards the now empty court. It's only then that you realize that you and Chenle are alone, and suddenly, he’s sitting a lot closer to you than you thought. You turn your face to him and realize that your noses are nearly touching, Chenle smiles. “Hi.” He says, coming a bit closer until he feels the moisture of his sweaty arm against your dry one, he recoils. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. I’m so sweaty right now.” There’s a dust of embarrassed blush on his face as he slides away on the bench. Your heart starts beating erratically as you watch him try to rub his sweat away with his small hand towel.

You can’t find the words to tell him it’s okay (slightly scared to tell him that you like it) so you say the next best thing. “You looked cool playing.”

This eases him a bit, he smiles. “You think so?”

“Yeah!” You say, “Like Curry!”

Chenle laughs, “Oh man! I can’t believe you just compared me to Curry.” He stands and takes a bow, waving his towel dramatically. “I am honored.”

The scene causes you to giggle, and Chenle has to take a breather to calm his own beating heart.

“Especially when you blocked Jaemin at the 3rd point and scored on the spot. I was impressed.”

“You must know a lot about basketball.” He points out. You shake your head.

“Not really,” is your response. “I only learned from coming to watch your games.” The sudden confession slipped from your lips and you momentarily panicked.

Upon not hearing a response from Chenle, your breathing deepens and you think maybe you ruined the moment.

Unbeknownst to you, Chenle watches you with curious eyes. He senses the tension coming from you and walks away, leaving you alone in your troubled state.

You think maybe Chenle left without, freaked out and uncomfortable because of what you said, however, you’re proven ridiculously wrong when you dribble a basketball on the floor.

You lift your gaze to Chenle who dribbled the orange ball with a teasing smile on his face. “Why don’t you show me what you got?”

“I- I don’t-“ you begin.

“Oh come one, Y/N!” He says, passing the ball to you, “You have to be good. I mean, you did learn from the best.” The cocky shrug of his shoulders and teasing smile bring you peace of mind and you find yourself agreeing.

It’s safe to say that Chenle is surprised at your skills. He should’ve known you had paid enough attention to him to learn all his techniques and dodge them while playing. And to think he was planning on letting you win so you could feel better. It eventually became a full competition. Sweaty bodies and heavy breathing, running, dodging, scoring. Teasing words and intense competitive gazes.

The score was 7-7. Chenle sweeps in to swipe the ball from your hands but you pivot and shoot the three pointer right from your spot. “Yes!” You exclaim, throwing your hands in the air with a celebratory dance. “I won!”

Chenle is leaning with his hands on his knees, his chest heaving. “I need-“ he breathes, “I need to stop being so good at basketball. So heathens like you can stop learning my best tricks.” He brings his hand up to pinch your cheek teasingly. “You should join the team.” He says jokingly. You chuckle, rubbing the spot on your face that was just touched by his fingers.

“As if.”

“Hey! Does the idea of being in a team with tons of rowdy sweaty dudes that unappealing?” Chenle jokes, placing the basketball back in its place.

“It’s enough with you.”

Before you can retract the statement, Chenle speaks. “That’s right, you only need one sweaty rowdy basketball player in your life.” He winks. “And that’s me.”

You laugh at his words but can feel your heartbeat all throughout your body. You can’t stop your mind from thinking:

You’re damn right. It’s you.

As you walk back to his car, Chenle is the first to break the comfortable silence. “You know… it was nice to see you so talkative and competitive today. I had fun.”

And despite everything, he meant it. He knows he probably shouldn’t, but he does.

Unaware of his inner turmoil, you smile. “I did too.”

He gives you a lopsided smile in return before sliding the strap of your backpack off your shoulder and onto his own, keeping his own backpack company. “I’ll carry it for you.”

You wonder if this is the start of something magical. Beside you, Chenle wonders the same but his thoughts are weaved with something more, something that meant trouble.

You, however, hurry home to pour your feelings into a letter. Hearts drawn on the borders of the loose leaf page and a smile on your face all throughout.

🏀

Every week it gets harder to become immune to Chenle’s charm.

Today, he did something as simple as drop you off at home after school. However, before bidding you goodbye as song rings from the radio of his car. Chenle perks up. “I love this song!”

He turns up the radio to its full capacity and rolls down the windows, making the music sound through the street.

“Chenle! Turn that down!” You exclaim but the laughter in your tone hints that you want the exact opposite. Chenle shakes his head.

“No can do!” he waves his arms dramatically in the air, “Dance with me!”

You laugh once again at the wonderful boy, “You’re ridiculous!”

“Oh yeah?” He says challengingly. Suddenly he is opening the door and dancing on the sidewalk where everyone could see him. His movements are almost manic and all you can do is continue laughing. “I’m not leaving until you dance with me.”

“My neighbors are going to see you.” You warn. He shrugs.

“It's fine. I’ll just tell them I’m with you!”

“Oh my god no.” You say, stepping out of the passenger’s side, walking around the car until you’re in front of him, you cross your arms.

“Show me some moves, I’m getting tired.”

And so an impromptu two people dance party breaks out on the sidewalk in front of your house. Even though in your imagination dancing with Chenle would require the presence of an elegant ball gown and fancy chandeliers, all there is to be seen is loud music, laughter, grabbing of hands and playful banter. And you wonder if it could ever be more perfect than this.

Of course, like any other human, Chenle has his moments.

The morning car ride was as silent as could be. Chenle’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, angrily. His usual smile is replaced but a scowl that only left momentarily when you stepped into the car earlier, a (clearly forced) polite smile is what you saw.

Since then you didn’t dare to speak, not wanting to bother him when he was clearly having a bad time.

You arrive at the school and escape the still awkward ambience, bidding him a quiet farewell before running in.

You proceeded to spend the entire school day wondering what was up with Chenle that morning and what you could do to help him. It’s when you meet at the end of the day once again that you ask, “Hey, is everything okay?”

The boy freezes up, before clearing his throat. “Yeah, why do you ask?”

You shrug, “Nothing, you you were just kind of, like, quiet this morning… so i figured you were upset.”

The blonde boy in the driver’s seat keeps his eyes on the road ahead of him, “It’s nothing, Y/N.” He says in a rough tone, one you’ve never heard or thought you would ever hear him use. “It doesn’t concern you anyway, okay?”

Your form deflates into the seat, wishing you had kept quiet like you did this morning. You reply, “Okay.”

There’s tension. Body swallowing tension that lasts all throughout the car ride to your house, as Chenle pulls up in front the driveway and you have already unbuckled your seatbelt before he got the chance to put the car in park.

In the passenger’s seat, Chenle feels the guilt creeping on him. He realizes that you only asked because you cared. “Wait-” Seemingly, he is too late since you’ve already shut the car door and made your way up your driveway. “Goddammit.” He sighs to himself, working to take off his seatbelt.

Your feet hurriedly take you to your door after you exit Chenle’s car, your nerves increase as you hear Chenle leave his car. “Y/N, I-”

The door opens before you can turn the handle, your mother’s smiling face looks back at you. “Hey, Honey.” You smile back at the woman, who immediately notices the emotions behind your smile. Quietly, she asks: “Are you okay?”

As soon as you nod in response, her eye catches Chenle standing guilty behind you. “Chenle! How are you?”

Chenle smiles with a nod, “I’m doing alright.”

“Well, I would invite you in for dinner but I can imagine what your answer will be.” She says jokingly, teasing him for all the times he had rejected her offer. To her surprise, Chenle doesn’t laugh awkwardly or agree with her, instead, he ponders for a bit. His gaze finds your own causing you to quickly look away. He feels his heart contract as he thinks of starting at square one with you; back to when you couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Actually,” He says, “Dinner sounds great.”

🏀

Even though the tension between you and Chenle is painfully obvious, he feels his heart become lighter as he watches how you interact with your little siblings. Laughing at their childish antics and playing along with them at the dinner table. Your parents engaged in conversation with each other across the table and Chenle sat next to you, smiling and nodding as your little sister animatedly explained to him why the rocks she found next to the trash can at recess just had to be magical. As he looks at the dynamic you have in your home, he realizes that this feels more like a home than his house ever has. All of you are sat at the table, the splash of colors brought by the miscellaneous decorations, the laughter and the love radiating from every corner makes Chenle want to stay there forever.

“Woah!” He acts, “Are you serious?”

The little girl nods proudly, “Mhm! And I’m going to give this one,” she points to a particular shiny one on the dining table, “to Y/N, so she can make her dream come true. But don’t tell her it’s a secret.”

He chuckles at her before whispering, “why do you think she’ll ask for?”

She giggles, leaning closer. She puts a hand over her mouth as she whispers. “Number 22.”

Chenle refrains from gasping, “Huh?”

“She talks about him but she never wants to tell me who he is.” She explains. “But I think if she had a rock to grant her wishes, she would wish for him.”

Chenle takes this moment to look over at you, studying your side profile as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, helping your little brother with his food.

That’s when it hits him. He realizes that this isn’t what he planned it to be, that the bet he set up with his friends had gone too far, and that if he himself had a magic rock for his use… he would wish for you too.

“Thank you so much for the food, it was delicious.” Chenle says, rubbing his full belly to emphasize. Your mother chuckles. “It was my pleasure, Chenle. You can come back anytime you want, you are always welcome here.”

“I definitely will, ma’am.” He says with a lopsided smile before shaking your father’s hand firmly. You can already tell by the way your father affectionately claps his hand on his shoulder and smiles at him that he too has taken a liking to the boy, like your mother.

“Y/N.” She says sternly, turning to you who currently battled to avoid Chenle’s eyes. You hum. “Be polite and walk Chenle to his car, please.”

You grimace subtly, not wanting to be the awkward air that would come with being alone with him. You want desperately to say no, but the gaze your mother gives you tells you that would mean trouble for you.

The basketball player notices your hesitation and looks down sadly at his sneakers, remaining that way as you lead him to the front door of your house. Its then that Chenle looks up to the view of the back of your head, his hand twitches in want to smoothen out the ahi at the back of your head for you.

You catch Chenle mid dilemma as you turn to face him, gesturing towards the open door. His eyes shift from you to the door. And to his car, he thinks about the ride home and how once he gets home it will just be him and he’ll be alone.

He doesn’t want to be alone. Strangely enough, he wants to be with you.

“Chenle?” He hears your soft voice. Your eyebrows are furrowed as you watch him stand there, unmoving, with a look of confusion. He looks into your eyes and realizes you’re waiting for him to walk through the door first. He does so, head tilted down. You follow him out the door and close it behind you.

You trail behind him until he reaches his car, however, instead of getting in like you expected him to, he turns abruptly to you. His eyes are glossy and startled at the sight of them. “Do you-“ He pauses, hesitating. “Do you wanna go for a drive?”

“A drive?” You ask, watching him fiddle nervously with his keys.

“Yes.”

“Right now?” He nods firmly.

“I don’t- I don’t think my parents will let me go out this late.” You say, wrapping your arms around yourself to combat the winter wind. Before saying in a quieter voice, remembering the events that took place earlier that day, “And I thought you wanted to be alone.”

Chenle feels guilty upon hearing your words. Knowing you felt hurt by his words from earlier. He shakes his head, stepping closer to you. “No. I don’t. That’s the last thing I want right now.”

You see something in his eyes that you had never seen before. Exhaustion mixed with sadness and worry. The usually mischievous happy go lucky look nowhere to be seen amongst all the turmoil you found looking at him. You immediately grew more concerned. “Chenle…” you say, he looks away momentarily. “I’ll- let me ask my parents.”

Much like many times before, you’re sat in the passenger's side of his expensive car. The scene has become common, except the ambiance is different. Chenle doesn’t attempt to start conversation like he always does, instead, he just stares forward blankly. Occasional tears rolling down his pale cheeks which he wipes away as soon as they appear, you are itching to ask the boy what is going on in his pretty head but decide against it once you remember how that turned out earlier. So you keep silent as Chenle presses harder on the gas causing the streetlights of the empty highway to become a blur above you. It momentarily impressed you how fast his car could go, however, once you look over at the boy, you see his state. Chenle has strings of tears running down his face, snot dripping out of his nose and even his hair is sticking to his forehead due to his excessive sweating.

“Chenle, maybe we should pull over.”

He doesn’t seem to hear you, only pushing further down on the accelerator. Fear and concern enters your bloodstream as you watch him become a version of himself you’ve never seen, a version you didn’t even think existed. You reach over took him and rest your shaky hand on his arm. Upon feeling your touch, his head snaps to you and he hits the brakes abruptly causing your entire body to jolt forward. “Woah!”

Chenle’s chest heaves as he sees how scared he has made you. “I’m- I’m sorry.”

“Pull over, Chenle.” You say sternly, pulling your hand away and instead of doing what he wanted to do which was pulling your hand back to him, he does as you told him and park his car on the side of the road. The two of you sit in silence for what feels like forever, until you hear a sniffle come from Chenle’s side of the car. Looking over, you notice how he is hunched over the steering wheel, crying.

“Chenle?” You use the softest voice you could muster. “Chenle, what’s wrong?”

Your immediate response is silence. He takes in short choked breaths, it seems like every breath he takes causes him to fall into a state of agony.

“I think-” he said, voice quivering. “Y/N, I think I’m a bad person.”

The sentence confuses you. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I did something terrible to someone I care about.” He answers, you note that he is not able to meet your eyes. It scares you. “What did you do?”

“I can’t-” He says breathlessly, his hand fumbling to open his car door. Stumbling out, watch as he makes his way around the car, leaning against the cement railing with his head in his hands.

You watch him in momentary shock before following him his actions and getting out of the car as well. You carefully approach him. “What is going on with you?”

Chenle sighs, pulling his hands away from his face. “I had a fight with my mother this morning, and everything was just piling up and I guess that was just the last straw.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I just… everyone expects so much from me.” He breathes. “My parents, my friends, my teachers, everyone at that damn school!” The railing in front of him takes the blows of his frustration. “And I don’t think i’m as good as they think i am, i'm not worth it.” He looks over at you and you immediately straighten at the sight of his red face. “Like you, Y/N. You’re so good to me, so nice and sweet. I don’t deserve it. Especially from you.”

You don’t know what he means by that. Chenle knows you don’t know but he stays silent. You take this as your chance to speak. “I’m not only nice to you because I want to be. Because you’ve always been nice to me too, Chenle.” You dare to step closer, into his bubble. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, it would be impossible to meet everyone’s expectations so just be yourself… that’s enough for a lot of people.”

Chenle’s mouth speaks before he can stop it. “Is it enough for you?”

To forgive me? To still be the same after you realize what I’ve done.

There is a silence that follows that one sentence, Chenle avoids your gaze nervously, he doesn’t realize that your silence is the product of your racing mind. The mind that is currently trying to find the words to describe what is happening in your heart. You ultimately decided that the best way to go is the truth.

“You know… I kinda had a crush on you all throughout high school, which is kind of embarrassing but that’s not the point,” you start, “the point is that I had this perfect version of you in my head. Of what you would be like. And then when you came up to me that day… I didn’t know if I could talk to someone who wasn’t the Chenle I knew up here.” You take the liberty of poking a finger against your temple. “But I did anyway, and I realized you were nothing like the Chenle I saw in my head…”

Chenle chuckled sadly before commenting, “Ouch.”

“You were better than him.” Chenle’s gaze snaps towards you in shock, you look forward. Too afraid to meet his gaze. “Nicer, funnier, and way more handsome than I thought up close.” You chuckle, having made the comment to help him feel better. “So yeah. I would say you are enough. More than, even.”

“You really mean that?”

For the first time you make eye contact, you furrow your eyebrows to try and make your sincerity as apparent as possible. “I do.”

He knows you do and that mends his heart as much as it breaks it into tiny pieces. He wants nothing more than to pull you towards him and smash his lips onto your own, but he also knows that it will only worsen the situation that is yet to come. Still his hands reach before he can stop them and reach to cup either side of your face.

Your heartbeat is running at an unearthly speed, Chenle can hear it but knows his own is probably the same. Betraying his common sense, he leans into you until your lips are almost touching, the top brushing enough to have you wanting more. You think he’s going to kiss you and close your lips tightly. However, instead of his lips, you feel his hot breath when he utters the words: “I’m sorry.” Before removing his hands from your face and backing away.

You can’t say the action didn’t cause a hurtful blow to your feelings but you also knew Chenle was in a tough place right now. You smile at him. “You don’t have to be sorry.”

Chenle hates how you smile at him when he does things that hurt your feelings. He hates that you’re so considerate and nice to him despite what he is doing to you behind your back. He hates that you will find out one day and that you’ll hate him as much as he hates this. He hates that he doesn’t want to lose you, and that in the end he probably will.

Friday is a holiday, so you don’t see Chenle the day after he took you on a late night drive with him. (You wrote another letter that night). In fact, you don’t hear from him until your phone chimes Saturday morning, Chenle’s name above a text message.

22 [9:15am]: hey

22 [9:15am]: I hope you’re good :)

22 [9:15am]: I just wanted to let you know there’s a party at my house tonight

22 [9:16am]: if you want

22 [9:18am]: actually, I really want you there so…

22 [9:20am]: please come.

You read the texts over a few times, it dawns upon you that you've never seen Chenle’s house. Sure, you’ve heard from classmates who had gone to his huge parties that it was extravagant as can be, resembling a hotel lobby rather than a house. The thought of being in his home made your hands sweat. Still, you remember how anxious you were to see him, especially after the other night, and you find yourself typing a reply of confirmation before tossing your phone to the side and walking to your closet to find something to wear for tonight.

🏀

As soon as your parents drop you off in front of what was easily the biggest, brightest, classiest house you’ve ever seen in your entire life, you get the unnerving urge to go home.

The abundance of people did nothing to help the creeping anxiety, the stares of some that briefly trained on you before whispering something to their friends. You couldn’t help but feel out of place. That is, until you see a familiar face. Jisung walks up to you with his hand wrapped around his girlfriend’s. “Hi!” He calle brightly as the girl waved friendly.

“Hey guys!” You try to stabilize your voice. “How’s the party?”

“Honestly… it kinda turned sour once some lower class men came and started to get wasted.” Jisung chuckled out, his girlfriend nods in agreement as she grips his arm affectionately. You smile when he looks over at her and smiles. There’s a part of you that feels envious of the relationship the two have but most of your thoughts surround how happy you are for the two. “We’re probably leaving soon anyway.” Jisung adds on.

After getting over your monetary panic of having to be alone once again you nod your head, smiling at them. “Okay, I’m going to try to find Chenle.” They nod and bid their farewells, you sigh out loud as you walk through the crowd once again, searching for the blonde hair of the boy you so desperately need to calm right now.

“I heard that she is the one Chenle left Ava for?” You hear someone say.

“No way! Chenle wouldn’t stoop that low, plus I heard Ava broke up with him.”

“Either way, I don’t understand why he would be hanging with her anyway, he probably feels sorry for her. What a loser.”

It’s strange how you can hear their comments over the loud music that causes the walls to vibrate. You feel like vomiting as your insecurities take over and another sweaty presses against you. You push them away and run the rest of the way, not looking to find Chenle anymore just wanting to get out of here. You find what you hope is the bathroom and open the door, running inside and shoving the door closed, chest heaving.

“Y/N?” You hear from behind you, you turn around in shock and make eye contact with the red faced boy you spent your whole night looking for. “Chenle.”

It’s then that you realize that he’s not alone. Across from him is an equally red faced Ava, eyebrows furrowed and lips turned down in a frown.

It dawns upon you that you might have just interrupted something.

You look between the two before averting your gaze back to the floor. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Hands grabbing the door handle and turning it quickly in a desperate attempt to flee the room. Completely deaf to the , “Wait!” That leaves Chenle’s mouth as you leave the room.

Soon enough your back in the sea of sweaty drunks, trying to stabilize your voyage to the front door. To escape the stormy waters this night has caused your nerves.

And you almost make it, had it not been for the harsh shove you received that sent you tumbling onto the floor. Suddenly, the people around you become giants and their huge feet stomp around you, threatening to squash you under their sneakers as if you were an irrelevant bug.

Your shaky legs prevent you from standing up, and you only realize you’re crying when you feel a tear run down the side of your neck. No one seems to notice you’re there and you suddenly remember why being invisible sucks.

It feels like ages have passed when you feel hands gripping your arms and lifting you onto your feet. Chenle’s voice sounds distance even if he’s barely an inch away from you. “Are you okay?”

“I think-“ you say, shakily. “I think I’m having a panic attack.”

Chenle takes your head and shoves it into his chest, making sure to keep a hand over your eyes as he leads you through the crowd. “It’s okay.” He whispers. “Everything is going to be okay.”

He repeats the sentences over and over until you two reach a quieter place and you hear the door of a shutting door and the music becomes muffled.

Chenle keeps a hand secured around your head as he holds you for a few more seconds before slowly letting you go.

“I need you to breathe with me, okay?” He says. Before you can think, you nod. “In through your nose.” He demonstrated, you follow. “Out through your mouth.”

You continue this until the beating of your heart has slowed down and you don’t feel like you're physically suffocating anymore. Instead, you feel tired. Chenle must have noticed because he ushers you to lay on the neatly made bed behind you, tucking you in before you had time to protest.

🏀

It takes a whole ten minutes for either of you to speak, you half expected Chenle to leave after throwing this blue blanket over you, instead, he sits at the edge of the mattress and picks at his nails. Kind of like he wants to say something.

“Thank you for helping me.” You speak first. “I don’t know what went wrong.”

Chenle sighs, “I’m sorry for not finding you, I just- I was-“

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain.” You interrupt, remembering where he was when you finally found him. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, still you know it’s not your place to question him. “I should get going, anyway.” You rush to slip on your shoes only to be stopped by Chenle.

“No, it’s not what you thought it was.” He starts. You avert your gaze from him in fear of what he had to say. “Ava and I ran into each other earlier and she was just going off about how horrible I was in front of everyone. I think she was drunk, but she was causing a scene so I wanted to take her somewhere where it wouldn’t cause a commotion. I didn’t want to bring her in here so I just took her to the bathroom” He says, “We got into a bit of an argument, and that’s when you walked in.”

“It’s-“

“She told me she wanted to get back together.” He blurts out, like he was getting something off his chest.

“Oh.” Is your reply.

“Obviously I said no.” He says, almost expectedly. He doesn’t know that the knot that was tightening in your chest loosened a bit at his words. He watches you for a bit before speaking again. “What- what’s on your mind?”

The question catches you off guard. You don’t really know what’s on your mind, the messy twister of thoughts going too fast for you to be able to reach in and grab a coherent thought. Only one thing pops up and you go with it.

“Is this your room?”

Chenle is silent for a second before he says. “Uh, yeah? Yes, it is.”

You hum, laying on your back once again. It’s then that you notice the glow in the dark stars Chenle has stuck to the ceiling of his room, identical to the ones in your own. “You have stars on your ceiling.”

He chuckles embarrassingly, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’ve lived here since I was a kid my grandad put them up there when I was young and I just never got around to taking them down.”

“I have the same ones on mine.”

“Really?” He asks. But he can’t help the shift his heart takes as he thinks of the two of you laying under the same glow in the dark stars every night.

Before he knew it, he was walking towards the light switch and flicking it off. The lights shine to their full potential over you. It eases you a bit, until you feel the bed dip next to you and you smell his close proximity to you, feeling the warmth coming his shoulder where it touches your own as you lay side by side.

The silence is comfortable this time.

“Do you ever have panic attacks?” You ask suddenly.

Chenle shakes his head but remembers you can see him, “No.” He whispers, as if someone would hear him. “But Jisung does sometimes, so I learned some techniques to be able to help him through it.”

You smile into the darkness. “That’s nice of you.” You lower your voice to his whispering tone.

Suddenly words are absent and the two of you just stare at the stars to the ceiling.

You know it’s weird, that after the other night, you are lying in Chenle’s bed beside him like nothing happened. Like you had always been there. You wondered whether you should be glad or scared that you feel that way.

Beside you, Chenle is having his own dilemma. On one part, he feels relieved that you’re safe now, that no one can hurt you now that you’re here with him. He feels comforted that you look so at home in his room, blending in so well it almost sends his head reeling. (Partially the reason he turned off the lights.) On another part, he feels so scared that he wants to think you blend in and that he wants to tell you everything in his head. That he wants to let you in, when he knows he shouldn’t. That he felt concern in his veins when he saw you in such a panicked state earlier, and all he wanted to do was tuck you into his chest and protect you forever.

Why did he want to protect you forever?

He turns on his side, you feel it. His breath fans on the side of your face. You turn to his darkness, staring to where you knew his face would be.

“Can I tell you something?” He says, it’s too late to take it back now, since you nod. “The other night when I ate dinner at your house…” he starts, “I was in such a bad place, And I never thanked you for putting up with me and having me over for dinner, it made me feel so much better, you know before everything blew up in the car.”

You furrow your eyebrows at his words. “That was actually my mom’s doing, but I will make sure to tell her you said so.”

Chenle shakes his head, kissing his teeth. “No, that’s not it. It was because you were there, Y/N.”

You hold your breath when he said that, not replying. Chenle takes his own in an attempt to calm his rapid heart. “Spending time with your family kinda made me feel like I was a part of something special.” He confesses. “Something you were a part of.”

An unsteady exhale tumbles from your lips, his statement doing a number on your heart. “What… what are you trying to say?”

This is it, Chenle. Tell her about the bet, confess what you did and fix everything before things get too serious and you break her heart. Tell her the truth!

‘The truth’ Chenle thinks. ‘Okay.’

“I like you, Y/N.” You don’t see that he is squeezing his eyes shut even if the room is pitch black.

“What?” You say in disbelief, even if the butterflies have already started erupting in your stomach.

“I like you.” He repeats. “So much.”

You stare in his direction in a state of shock and happiness. Meanwhile, Chenle beats himself up in his mind, taking your silence as a bad sign. “It's okay if you don’t want to be a thing or anything, I just thought, you know, since I like you and you like me… Liked? Is that past tense?”

Your head shakes and causes a ruffling noise against his pillow. “No, it’s very much present tense.”

The warmth pressed against your shoulder disappears. And you hear Chenle’s footsteps throughout the room, suddenly the world turns bright and Chenle walks back to the bed. Now with the light on, he can see the blush on your cheeks and the small smile you wear. He smiles back at you, but he feels bad. So, so bad.

So bad that leans down to lay over you, kissing your breath away.

It's only after the momentary surprise that you begin to kiss him back.

His lips are rougher than you thought they would be, but still held some pillow like softness you expected. His hands hold your cheeks as he dips down further to bring his lips closer to yours.

Now you totally understood why everyone was so crazy about kissing. It’s the best thing ever, and you never want it to end. However, breathing becomes an issue when you kiss someone, you learned. Chenle is the first to pull away, keeping his face a barely centimeters from your own, your breaths meet in the middle.

When you finally open your eyes, you are met with Chenle’s worried ones already watching you. You immediately frown.

“What’s wrong?” You ask. Are you a bad kisser? Does your breath smell? Does he regret it? His response is unlike those, shocking you when the words leave his mouth.

“I don’t want to break your heart, Y/N.” He looks away from you. His body is still positioned above you, the position being one that makes it hard to avoid your eyes (and one that is even suggestive). Still he tries his best, that is, until he feels your soft hands cradling his cheeks just as he has been doing to your own just a few minutes ago.

“Chenle, look at me.” You say, though your voice is wavering. He obliges. “Why are you worried about that?”

“I just-” You can tell he would look away if you weren’t holding his head in place, he can’t hide his eyes now. “I’m just afraid I'll do something to hurt you and that you’ll hate me.” He says, which isn’t the whole truth but is also not a lie.

“Why would I hate you? I could never.” Chenle wants to scoff sadly when you say that but you cut him off. “I’ll promise to not break your heart if you promise to not break mine.” You extend your pinky in between your faces.

Chenle winces internally, feeling like he already broke your heart. And he is more scared now that it’s real. That you like each other and this probably makes you guys a thing, that he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings like he knows he will. But he also thinks about the fact that he has never felt this way with anyone else, that you were the first girl he ever felt comfortable enough with to let in his room, that you have glow in the dark stars like him and that it kind of feels like you’re split-aparts that have finally found each other. The longer he could keep you by his side, the better.

That’s when he decides to let himself live in this world, at least while he can. He wraps his pinky around yours and lets your thumbs touch, sealing the deal.

He doesn’t have time to regret his decision because you lean up and catch his lips before he can think of anything but you.

🏀

Two weeks later, and most of your days have been spent much like this one. Chenle’s arms wrap protectively around your middle as you read the messages on your phone. One being a reminder from the president of the student council about the special dress code for Valentine’s Day.

You turn in Chenle’s hold and meet his sleepy eyes, he smiles. “Did you see what the student council is doing?”

“Mm?” He replies, you turn your phone to him. “A dress code?”

“Yep, white for single, pink for complicated, and red for taken.” You say, bringing attention back to you phone. “I’m glad I look good in pink.”

The statement confuses Chenle. “What do you mean pink? What is complicated?”

You startle at the awareness and worry on his voice compared to the sleepy mumbles you were getting just moments ago. “Well… I mean, you never asked me to be your girlfriend.”

Chenle freezes. You were right, he never did because part of the bet was to have a girlfriend by Valentines, it made him feel as though he wasn’t a complete asshole if he hadn’t completed the bet. “You’re right.”

You watch him expectedly, but receive no response. Holding back a sigh, you bring your attention back down to your phone.

“Are you upset with me?” His soft voice meets your ears.

You shake your head. “Of course not, why would I be?”

“It’s not fair to you that I keep you waiting.” None of what I’ve done to you is fair, he thinks.

You reach up and stroke the hair that frames his face, smiling softly. “I’ll wait until you’re ready, Chenle. You know that.”

It scares him how soft you are, how warm and safe he feels when he’s with you. That’s when he decides, it’s best if he waits out this week and lets himself live like this longer, even if it’s for a bit.

“Kiss me.” He whispers. And you do. Pushing your chest flush against his, making sure every part of your body touches his own; remaining like that until you are sure you have blisters lining your lips from how much you’ve kissed him.

The two of you end up hotly panting, you straddled over his lying figure. Chenle looks up at you from where he is before sitting up, suddenly, you feel the warmth of his hands tug at the edge of your shirt. His eyes ask for permission, which you reply to with a nod.

You’re nervous. Very much so. You wonder if this will be the first time you have sex or if anything else will happen.

Chenle lifts your shirt off your head and places it next to your body. “Is this okay?” He asks, his big innocent eyes looking up at you.

“Yes.” Is the only answer you can formulate.

The boy maintains eye contact with you as he says the following words. “Do you want to take off mine?”

Your face flushed red, you can feel it. “I-if that’s okay with you.” His answer is in the form of his hands leading your own to the hem of his shirt, before letting go and putting his arms up. Your hands are shaking as you grab the clothing, slowly pulling it up, exposing his pale abdomen inch by beautiful inch.

You smile at him as his head finally reappears from the whole in his shirt. “Hi.” You say, he smiles.

What he does next is something you didn’t expect from the lead up of events, unlike anything you’ve seen in erotic movie or read about in novels.

He wraps his arms around your waist and pushes you down to lay next to him, he then pulls you towards him so that your the heat of your torso melts into his own. He shuffles until he is as close to you as he can get, only then is when stops moving. Resting his cheek against your own, you feel his breath on your ear.

“I just want to be close to you, to hold you.”

Just like that your heart is full to the brim once again.

It’s the night before Valentine’s Day and Chenle is restless. He had decided tomorrow would be the day he would tell you everything. He would come clean and the two of you would start over (right?). He had practiced what he was going to say for hours earlier that night, wanting to have the perfect words so that his message got across to you. Still, even with all that practice, he knows there’s no guarantee that you won’t hate him. That you will swear him off and never speak to him again, when he has become so fond of you. The thought makes his hands ache and toes curl in an angsty feeling.

After tossing and turning for nearly two hours, he finally gives up on sleeping and opts for looking at the stars stuck to his ceiling. He wonders if you’re awake right now. If you’re thinking about him while looking at your stars. He imagines your messy hair and pajamas and smiles softly to himself. “I miss her.” He says out loud, to the darkness of his room.

Suddenly, everything happens in a flash as he throws his covers off himself and marches to the closet, pulling out his favorite red hoodie, grabbing the Valentine’s Day gift he had gotten you days ago then he’s in his car. Desperate to get where you are.

It’s nearly 1am when you hear the knocking on your window. You had just begun to fall asleep when the noise startled you awake.

Upon inspecting your window cautiously, you gasp when you see Chenle’s blonde hair. The window opens with a click. “Chenle! What are you doing here?”

What is he doing here? “I just wanted to see you.”

His words flutter your heart. “But it’s 1am, on a school night.”

“I know that, I just…” he scratches the back of his neck because in reality he doesn’t know why the hell he even came here in the first place. “I had to give you something.”

He extends the bag in his hand out to you. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

The bag contains two items, the first being the red hoodie you had seen Chenle wear many times before. His smell reeked off of it, causing you to nearly die of delight. “Wear this tomorrow.” He says. “Cause you’re mine.”

You don’t know that his heart hurts for you, he pities you for being the one who causes him to lose all self control and make decisions that will hurt you in the long run. He feels so sorry that he couldn’t wait until tomorrow, that he just wanted you today, now. Before you get the chance to hate him. To run away. He wanted you to be his.

You say nothing to him, only smiling bashfully as your cheeks matched the color of his clothing item. You look into the bag and see a black box that would be the second item. “What’s this?” You say to yourself, smiling up at Chenle. You open the box to reveal a beautiful necklace with a pretty pink diamond hanging off the end. You gasp.

“Chenle, I can't accept that.” You say, closing it. You knew the necklace probably cost more than your house, you felt guilty taking it.

“Please accept it. I bought it for you. I want to see it on you every day.” He seizes the opportunity to reassure himself. “And yes. It cost a lot, so that means we have to continue seeing each other, hm?”

“Chenle…” you say.

“Please.” He says in a way that makes you wonder if this is only about the necklace.

“Okay.”

You pivot and allow him to clip the chain, you turn to him and catch his reaction to the jewelry resting against your upper chest. “How do I look?”

Chenle’s eyes study the necklace before looking into your own. He smiles somewhat sadly as his arm reaches up to stroke your own. “You look beautiful.” He whispers. “Just like I knew you would.”

You can’t put your finger on it, but something about his demeanor is unsettling. “Chenle, is something wrong?” You ask, to which he shakes his head weakly, but the sad look on his face tells you otherwise. You figure it had something to do with his family and refrain from asking. Instead you cup his cheek to provide him comfort, he leans into your touch and shits his eyes momentarily. “I love it. Thank you.” You say in a quiet voice. Chenle watches your features move into a soft smile before impulsively leaning forward to peck your lips.

“I’m so happy.” To be with you, to be yours. “Let's be happy together for a long time, okay?”

You don’t say no.

The next morning you arrive before every other student to school. Chenle’s red sweater rests on your figure as you reach your locker and take out what had been heavy in your mind since last night. The letters. You were going to give them to Chenle and ask him to be your boyfriend. Sure, you were nervous to do so, but you knew Chenle was someone you wanted to have in your life for a long time. That's why you slip the envelopes decorated with his name one by one into the vent of his locker.

You remember thinking this would be the beginning of something great.

You were wrong.

🏀

There’s a pep in your step as you make your way through the halls after school clad in Chenle’s red hoodie, heart eyes searching for the boy.

And for the first time in probably ever, you wished you wouldn’t have found him. You wished you didn’t have to see Chenle pressed up against his locker with his hands resting on Ava’s hips as she kisses him roughly.

“Oh my god.” You say, voice small but enough to catch Chenle’s ear. The boy immediately pushes Ava away from him and turns to the sound of your voice with pleading eyes.

“Y/N-“

“Look who showed up!” Ava interrupts, turning fully towards you. “I was wondering when you were going to come looking for him like you always do, I bet you’re glad it’s over, right Chenle?”

The way the boy looks away from your eyes to shift his guilty gaze to the floor makes you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “Chenle what is she talking about?”

When the boy remains silent, Ava’s high pitched voice answers for him. “Well, since he doesn’t seem very talkative right now, I’ll just tell you myself.” She clears her throat, as if setting the scene, your hands are starting to ache. “A month ago, our darling Chenle made a bet with his friends after our break up, you know as boys do, they said he couldn’t get another girlfriend before Valentine’s Day. Obviously, Chenle’s competitive self took that as a challenge and it’s obvious that you had been in love with him for like ever so you were the easiest target.”

The way the world stops spinning isn’t like it’s described in all the romance novels you read, it’s not the good kind that makes you feel like you're floating that nothing could stop you, it’s the kind that weighs you down and makes you feel dizzy, causing you to stumble. This is what you feel when you ask: “Chenle… is this true?” And the boy just stares at you, for a second before looking away once again.

“Of course, it’s true. He was even showing me the pathetic love letters you wrote to him.” She motions to the stack of letters in Chenle’s hands. You gasp, feeling like every last bit of you was torn apart. The thought of them reading the deepest tellings of your heart and laughing at it, all when you wholeheartedly believed that the boy you spoke about in the letters was finally all yours.

When he wasn’t. He was never yours. But he wanted you to think that.

“Oh my god,” you run to him and attempt to rip the letters out of his hands only for him to hold on tighter. “Let go, Chenle.”

“Y/N, please-“

You can’t help the sob that creeps up your throat as your attempt weakly to shake your heart out of his hands. “Please, let go.”

Chenle watches you cry before him and feels like that the act of ripping his actual heart out of his chest would hurt less than this.

You take this moment of weakness and rip the letters out of his grasp, before running down the hall.

It’s only when you feel a hand grasp your shoulder and spin you around that you realize that Chenle has followed you all the way out to the parking lot.

Seeing him caused every bone in your body to ache, and the contractions in your heart were hard to ignore. “Wait, okay? I need to explain somethings to you.”

“I don’t want to hear your explanations! I just want to go home.” You realize that you probably sound like a bratty child but you couldn’t care less.

Chenle nods, “Okay, then let’s go.”

“Not with you.”

Chenle can't help the dagger that the sentence shoots into his heart. “Then I’ll say what I need to say right here!” He exclaims, trying to mask his pain with anger. “It’s true that I made a bet with my friends to date you the day I first drove you home, and it’s really shitty of me, I know. But I had just broken up with Ava and everything was so messy and I just wanted to make her feel bad so I said yes. “ He pauses, “I said yes and so I went to you since I knew you liked me-“

“Jesus,” you wince, embarrassment creeping up your throat and clogging it up. Your eyes water as you think of how truly fucked up the situation is.

That day, one month ago, you were right to question Chenle’s intentions. No, he didn’t admire you or see you the way you saw him, you were just easy bait. And everything has been a lie. “I can’t- I can’t do this.”

Chenle tries to stop the tears of guilt that threatened to leak from the corners of his eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“No you’re not.” Your bitter words are a shock to Chenle, he had never heard you use that tone with him (or with anyone) before. “You’re not fucking sorry.” Tears of humiliation and frustration run down your face and Chenle wants desperately to cradle your cheeks in his hands, but thinks he might never be able to after this. “It might not have been a big deal to you Chenle, but you were my first kiss, you were the first guy who ever took me on dates and drove me around in his car, you. And I thought you were the first boy who ever liked me.” The smell of him you once loved reeks of the hoodie covering your body, however, instead of feeling welcomed and happy you feel like it’s creeping up the sides of your neck and suffocating you to no end. You groan as you grab the hem of the article and rip it off your body, leaving you in a flimsy t-shirt to combat the winter cold.

Chenle sighs, “I know you’re mad at me but you’re going to get sick if you walk home like that. It’s cold.”

You scoff in response, “Lucky for you then, because you don’t need to worry about me anymore.” In a quieter voice you say. “I was probably just a burden to you this whole time.”

The boy immediately opposes the statement, “You were never a burden, I liked hanging out with you. I care about you.”

“Only because it helped you win that stupid bet, and to make your ex jealous!” You exclaim, finally looking into his sorry eyes. He looks tired, you almost falter in your stance before putting up the wall separating you two that had always been there before the day he drove you home.

You wished he had never approached you, because the Chenle in your dreams would never do this to you.

It’s in that moment that you feel the weight of the dove on your neck, your finger move to unhinge it as you place it on top of the hoodie resting against his chest. You watch his jaw tense as he looks at you. You make eye contact one last time with the blonde haired boy in front of you, Before sadly turning away.

“Y/n please,” it’s the weakest you’ve ever heard his usually booming voice. “Don’t leave me like this. What about our promise, huh? You’re breaking my heart right now.” Chenle knows the attempt to get you to stay is pathetic and desperate but he’s at a loss of what to do.

Angrily, you spit. “You broke my heart the moment you approached me that day so I guess that promise was made to be broken wasn’t it?”

Chenle watches you walk away with your arms wrapped tightly around your shaking body. He sees as you walk past a trash can and dump all your letters into it, wiping your tears and starting your journey to the bus stop.

And he would never share this with you, walks up the trash can with tears in his eyes and reaches into the garbage, picking out every letter in there. He figures it’s the only piece of your heart he can manage to save for himself. It’s proof that the hate you now hold in your heart for him was once love.

Even if he ruined everything.

You never knew they called it heartbreak because your chest physically hurts this much. At times you feel like throwing up, at others you want to throw all your belongings across your room. The pain was almost unbearable at the beginning, embarrassing and hot flashes of anger running through you constantly as you think back to that moment.

You don’t go to school that Monday, telling your mom you were feeling sick. Which isn’t entirely a lie, especially when you see Chenle’s car pull up outside your house that morning. You feel like throwing up again. You’re angry at him. So so angry that he thinks things will be the same after what he did. That he thinks he can pull up at your house and drive you around after completely breaking your heart.

You pull the blinds down as your mom comes through your door. “Honey, Chenle is here.”

“Tell him to leave.” You seeth, tears running down your face. You wipe them away frustratedly. “Tell him to never come back here, Mom.”

Your mother watches with sad, sympathetic eyes. Before nodding solemnly and closing the door on her way out.

Due to a strange urge, you peek through the blinds and wait to see him walk out your driveway. He does, dragging his feet. Much to your dismay, he stops suddenly and turns to face your window. You immediately step away in the darkness of your room, away from the light and Chenle’s eyes.

Three weeks pass, things at school remain the same for the most part. You hang out with Donghyuck like you used to. You try your best to not look over at the athletes table even when you feel Chenle’s eyes on you. However, somethings do change, you no longer spend your class time daydreaming about a certain blonde boy, or writing love letters on the back pages of your notebook about how pretty his eyes look when they catch the light. Instead, you stare out the window of your classrooms, wanting nothing more than to be in your room away from everyone once again. You sigh and look away from the window momentarily before looking up again. You startle as you see Chenle on the other side of the glass. Watching you with eyes that looked like they had a lot to say. You shudder when you take in the bag under his eyes and exhaustion written all over his face. You want to believe it’s because of you, you hope it is. You hope he can’t sleep at night thinking of you. Nevertheless, you remember what happened on Valentine’s Day and realize you were probably too insignificant to him to have caused him to be this way.

He softly smiles at you, bringing his hesitant hands up to wave at you, only for you to avert your eyes away from him and to the teacher at the front of the room.

Chenle looks down dejectedly before continuing his walk, meanwhile you sit at your desk, wanting to escape more than ever.

Three days later, your mother informs you that you have a visitor. “Tell him I don’t want to see him.”

“It’s not Chenle.” She says before confusedly adding: “He said his name is Jisung.”

Jisung? What the hell is he doing here? “I’ll be down in a minute.”

When you finally get down stairs Jisung smiles awkwardly at you before gesturing towards the door. “Do you like milkshakes?”

“What is this about?”

The words that say heavy on your tongue the whole car ride here finally leave you as you sit across Jisung at Billy’s. He sips his milkshake before clearing his throat to speak. “How have you been?”

You’ve been really shitty. “I’ve been fine, I guess.”

Jisung hums, rubbing his hand together before sighing. “I guess we should just get straight to the point, then.” He pauses, “Have you spoken to Chenle recently?”

While you figured this meeting had something with Chenle, you still sit up straighter when you hear his name. You clear your throat as if this is a kind of declaration. “No. I haven’t spoken to him since Valentine’s day.” You don’t want to ask about him, so you try the next best thing. “Why- why do you ask?”

“I haven’t seen him since last week.” Jisung says, something in your stomach doesn’t sit right. “He’s been missing practice, which he never did, and he’s not answering any of my messages or calls. And the pre-final game is tomorrow and no one has heard from him.”

His words are bazar. Basketball is unarguably the most important thing in Chenle’s life, why would he risk this chance of winning the championship like this? “He hasn’t spoken to me either, sorry.” You say, but your mind is fogged with worry as to where the boy could be. Jisung remains silent for some time before he clicks his tongue.

“I know what happened between you two.” You avoid his gaze and feel blood rush to your cheeks. “And I think you’re right for not talking to him after that.”

How could he say that about his best friend? Still, you nod. “But I think you only know a part of what’s really going on here.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, yeah. The whole thing started as a bet, but after a few weeks Chenle told me that something changed. He said he didn’t want to do the bet anymore, that he felt guilty for using you like that because he ended up really really liking you Y/N and I’m not just saying this because he is my best friend or anything but I think when the time is right, you should give him a chance.”

You finally look up at him and realize upon feeling a tear trail down your face that you were crying. You wipe it away quickly and sigh. “I don’t know, Jisung. He really hurt me, I was so embarrassed I felt like I could die.”

“Sometimes we make stupid decisions.” The ‘we’ reminds you of the story of Jisung and his girlfriend’s love story that Chenle animatedly told you about one night you stayed at his house. You remember wondering how someone as sweet as Jisung could do any of those things, and how his girlfriend could forgive him for any of it.However, you knew the love they had for each other in their hearts was more than the anger due to his actions. You wonder if the attachment you have for Chenle would ever be enough.

Jisung reads your mind. “I think he loves you.”

Your eyes become wide as planets before you scoff in disbelief. “Don’t say that.” You say, weak hearted.

“He does! While you two were still a thing he wouldn’t stop talking about how cute you were, how good you are at basketball and how you have the same glow in the dark stars on your ceiling that he does.”

What? You didn’t think cared enough to talk about you or to remember those details. “He told you that?”

Jisung nods, “And a lot of other things, but I don’t think we’ll have the time.”

“He… he never told me he loved me.” You thought Chenle had just come into your life as a lesson to always be on your guard, to never let anyone in and protect yourself above others. But now… you wonder if you meant more to Chenle than you thought.

“Take it from me,” Jisung says, “sometimes those 8 letters can be the hardest to say.”

🏀

Once you’ve parted ways with Jisung, (who offered to drive you home to which you politely declined to, telling him the walk home would give you time to think) you make your way home on your dirty sneakers and think about what Jisung said.

It’s hard to believe that Chenle would actually say those things about you, while knowing he was playing you. You wondered if it really did change for him like Jisung said, and if he really felt sorry like he was telling you that day in the parking lot.

You’re so lost in thought that you don’t realize the familiar car parked in front of your house until you hear the voice your heart has been longing to hear for weeks now. “Is Y/N home?”

You bolt to the nearest bush and duck behind it, close enough to hear their words but far enough that Chenle and your conflicted mother are unaware of your presence. “Oh, I’m sorry sweetie she went out a few hours ago.”

“Oh.” You flinch when you hear the disappointment in his voice. “Can you tell her I stopped by?” And that I miss her, he wants to say but you don’t know that. “And please give this to her too if it’s not too much trouble.” You hear shuffling as Chenle hands whatever it is he wanted to give you to your mom.

“I will, sweetie.” Your mom says. “And Chenle?” There's a pause in which he hums. “Get some sleep, honey.”

You can imagine that Chenle throws her his signature polite smile, “I will try, Ma’am.”

It’s not longer after that you hear his sneakers against the steps of your porch and see him get into his car. You have a perfect view of him from where you are. Watching as he frustratedly runs his hands through his hair and throws his head back against the seat. You don’t know why you feel sorry for him. You know you should be angry but after what Jisung told you, you need to stop yourself from going to him.

You contemplate if even looking inside the bag is a decision.

It sits in front of you neatly on your bed where you had placed it after your mother handed it to you with a worried: “He looks so tired, Y/N.” Which caused hurt to arise in your heart.

The bag is a bright red one, the type that usually is full of candies and sweets, maybe flowers. You want to know what is inside manically, but you're afraid about what this would mean for your relationship (if you could even call it that) with Chenle. Is this his final goodbye or is this him trying to get you back?

You had to know.

Upon opening it, you are shocked to see a pale yellow envelope with your name written in Chenle’s messy handwriting on top. You grab it with shaky hands, the texture is different somehow, because for the first time ever, this letter was meant for you.

Inside, there is a loose leaf paper much like the ones you had sent to him neatly folded. Your heart beats in your ear as you finally see the first words, you breathe in deeply and read away.

“Y/N,

I thought for a long time about what I would say to you in this letter, I’ve been sitting on it for three weeks trying to find the right things to say that would convince you to forgive me before I realized that they all sounded tacky and cliche when I read them back. So, i’ve decided to just go with the truth. It’s true that at first I wasn't honest with you, that I only approached you to complete a dare my friends had given me that day and I won’t make any excuses because I was such a huge asshole to you. I was just so hurt that day because of Ava and I wanted to make her feel like shit so bad, I wanted to hurt her like she had hurt me and I used you to do so, Y/N. But after I approached you and started spending time with you,I started thinking back to all the times I would look at you when the sun came in through the window in the English classroom before I had even spoken a word to you. I bet you didn’t know I did that, did you?”

You didn’t, the you at that time would’ve freaked out if she knew though.

“I remember thinking you were so pretty, that you were untouchable to me so i just never tried. But something changed when i got to know you, i realized that you were the coolest person i’ve ever met, that you were real and that you were there with me whenever i needed someone. No one has ever made me feel so safe and comforted. I became selfish with you because I never wanted it to end. I didn’t want to tell you because i was scared you would hate me do you hate me? The night before valentines i went to your house because i planned on telling you everything the next day, i wanted to see your happy eyes just once more just in case i ruined everything. On Valentine’s day, when i got to school and read your letters. You wouldn’t believe how happy I was to read all the wonderful things you said about me. I was so happy that you held me as close to your heart as I held you to my own. I was going to tell you everything after that, i was going to confess and tell you that i couldn’t go another day with this secret. I was going to tell you how i felt but Ava stopped me, she told me she knew about the bet and then she kissed me and that's when you showed up. I’m so sorry you had to see that, I’m so that i used you like that. I’m sorry that I took advantage of you but I want you to know that I meant everything I told you, I loved spending time with you, and being with your family made me feel so special. I remember thinking we were split aparts and i know that sounds stupid but i really want you to know that i meant it. And every kiss we shared and every time I held you I felt it and I really really really mean it when i say that i loved you. I loved you so much that I didn't ever want to lose you.”

The past tense makes your chest tighten.

“I won’t tell you to forgive me, but your spot on the bleachers looks so empty without you. The pre finals are tomorrow and i would love it if you came, to cheer me on like you used to. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to but I wanted to give you something that would portray how serious I am about this. That if you are willing to come cheer me on with a part of me with you.”

This when you reach into the bag and pull out the item that once laid underneath your letter. The 22 of Chenle’s basketball jersey stares back at you, you gasp as you hold the fabric in your fingers. You had watched him run around the court with this very jersey plenty times before, you knew how much being number 22 meant to him. You were grateful he would trust you so important to him, you really wanted to grab his face and tell him that. Instead, you finish reading the letter.

“You make me feel brave. And I will forever be sorry for what I did to you, but I mean it when I say I loved you I still love you.

Please come. - Zhong Chenle.”

He loves you! Present tense. You could almost jump from joy. You want to see him, tell him you love him too. A million times if you can. You want to say that you forgive him for everything, that you have felt incomplete without him these past few weeks and the Chenle you made up in your mind was too perfect anyway.

Chenle sighs for the upteenth time the next afternoon as he stretches along with his teammates. He tries his best to take his mind off of you for the time being, at least until after the game is over, he needed to focus but he found it very hard when he began to wonder what was going through your head when you read his letter, and if you were coming today.

He startles when he feels a hand on his shoulder. Hopeful, he turns. His hopefulness fades away when he sees Jisung standing before him.

“Damn don’t look too sad to see me.” He jokes. Chenle shakes his head

“It’s not that…” Chenle explains, biting his lip nervously and subconsciously looks toward the bleakers where your empty seat was. Jisung gets the hint.

“Chenle,” he says. “It's okay, she’ll come.”

Chenle wants to ask him how he is so sure, that if he were you, he would hate himself too. Instead, he nods at him and readjusts the waistband of his shorts on his hips as the coach calls for the team to step out onto the court.

People immediately start cheering for the players as they come into the view, girls go crazy in the stands and the members’ friends and families cheere enthusiastically from the side lines. The players smile and wave at their ‘fans’ doing a lap around the court to warm up and high five audience members.

Chenle can only bring himself to smile half heartedly and wave weakly due to the fact that your spot on the bleachers still remains empty.

He sighs out again, puffing his cheeks as the referee finally calls for the first round. That’s when his adrenaline starts pumping and he feels a bit better.

The game goes on.

Chenle’s jersey is only a bit big on you, almost fitting like something that would be your size, still, you try to pull it down over your hips in a nervous habit. You finally made it to the game, having fun late due to traffic. The spot you usually sit in is occupied by a woman holding a baby, so you decide to stay and watch from the sidelines, standing.

The first time you see him, he is running across the court so fast he becomes a blur. You only know it’s him because of the head of blonde hair you see in the blurry image. He looks breathtaking as always, his hair being pushed away from his face by a sweat band being an addition to his look you wouldn’t mind seeing again.

His sneakers squeak against the floor as he gets in position to shoot. You cross your fingers, but something is off. His eyebrows are furrowed in something that doesn’t look like concentration, but more like worry. His legs give him the impulse to jump up and soon enough his arms are shooting the ball towards the basket. You watch in disappointment as it hits against the rim and bounces back at him, he catches it with a frustrated click of his teeth.

The audience has already begun whispering, having never seen the star player miss a shot.

One of his teammates comes up to give him a fist bump of comfort, Chenle accepts it but still holds a troubled look on his face. The thought crosses your mind that it might be because of you, it troubles the organ in your chest as much as it warms it. You notice he keeps glancing at a certain part of the bleachers, this is when you know he meant everything and that he surely is waiting for you.

“Chenle!” You yell, trying to get his attention.

The boy doesn’t look your way, your voice getting lost in constant shouts and chatter from the people in the crowd. You try again, louder this time. Nothing.

You groan frustratedly, the boy continues the game the best he can, but he’s out of it. You hate to see him like this, a deep hurt in your chest rising up. You cheer for him as loud as you can, deciding it would be better to wait until after the game to see him.

As the game is coming to an end, Chenle appears to grow more and more tired and absent. Nevertheless, his team scores the winning point and the audience goes wild, including you. Chenle smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

You can’t wait to hold him and tell him you forgive him for everything and that everything is going to be okay, and be with him for real this time. To have him be yours and be best friends against, go on nightly drives and have impromptu dance parties, to lay on his bed and count the plastic stars on his ceiling, to kiss him and be close to him.

And for it to be real.

🏀

Chenle can’t help but feel dejected when your seat was never taken by you. He should’ve known this would happen, that is true but there was a fraction of him that thought you would read his letter and realize how sincere he was, he thought there was a part of you that knew it had been real and there was no way everything he said could've been made up. But he was wrong, and now as he packs his gym bag to go home, he faces the consequences of his high hopes.

He’s mad, practically throwing his belongings in his bag, he almost throws his phone in the trash can next to him when he hears the ringtone go off. Chenle answers it with an irritated, “What?”

“Hey.” He recognizes your voice that same instant, still he pulls his phone back and makes sure its your caller ID before speaking again.

“Y/N? Oh my god, hi!” He clears his throat before repeating himself. “I mean, hi, hey.”

You hold back a laugh, noting his nervousness. “I’m sorry for calling so suddenly.” You decide to tease him, although, unbeknownst to him, you wear standing about 20 feet behind him after finally finding him in the now that the crowd of people has dispersed after the game.

“No, don’t worry about it. I was actually…” Chenle flicks the zipper of his bag with his nervous fingers, “I was waiting to hear from you.”

“Were you?”

“Yeah, I wanted a chance to talk things out with you and uhh… i'm sorry if me asking you to come out to the game was too much or if it made you uncomfortable I didn’t-“

“Chenle.” Your voice cuts his rant short. You internally marvel at the fact that you aren’t the one caught in a nervous ramble for once. “It didn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m here.”

“You’re here?” Someone clicks in his mind as he frantically looks around him in an effort to find you. When he does, his eyes turn soft and a smile takes over his face. “You came.”

You nod at him, feeling a bit overwhelmed when you finally make eye contact with him. There are people between you too, Chenle begins to close it as he walks forward. “I did. I just wanted to tell you that I missed you.”

“I missed you more, I swear on it.” He replies.

Your eyes burn, you wipe them and lighten the mood. “And that Curry would be sad to see you so out of it at a game.” You click your teeth jokingly. “What do you think he would say if he saw you like that cause of a girl?”

He laughs, “I think he would understand, after I tell him how amazing you are.”

You blush. “I also wanted to tell you that your jersey smells like you, and I like it.” This makes him beam, speeding up his footsteps that carry him to you.

“Is that it?” He asks, jokingly.

“And that I love you, Zhong Chenle. Not the Zhong Chenle that I had a crush on for 3 years and not Number 22 but you. The rawest versions of you. I love all of it and that i forgive you for everything.” He slows his pace in shock, his chest heaving.

“You mean that?” His voice is wavering and you can see the flush on his cheeks from how close he has gotten. Suddenly, he is taking big steps until he is directly in front of you. He puts his phone down and his pretty eyes look directly into your own.

Chenle’s face is hopeful, happy and lovestruck. He whispers: “You love me?”

You can only nod, overwhelmed. Chenle smiles wide, you can almost see his molars and his eyes disappear. “Say it.” He says, in a wondrous tone.

“I love you, Zhong Chenle.”

“Oh my god, yes!”

And he’s kissing you, arms wrapping around you and pressing your body against his, his finger grip at the jersey on your body and he moves his lips against yours. Every memory that you have ever shared, every kiss, every touch, and every laughing fit come to your mind. It’s all you can think about as you think about this boy. You don’t think about the bad part, because that doesn’t matter anymore now that Chenle is yours and you are never letting go.

4 months later; Graduation

“Chenle! Come on!” Jisung yells as he sees the boys floppy newly dyed orange hair amongst the crowd of people.

You were all posed for a picture, blue cap and gowns adorning your bodies and your parents huddle you together for a picture. “I’m coming!”

Your boyfriend appears from the crowd with his cap in his hand along with a giant bouquet of flowers. He walks directly to you, extending it with a smile. “For you.”

Your friends start squealing, playful hitting you and Chenle and your parents smirk at each other at the portrayal of young love before them. You cover your face with your hands to hide your blush. Chenle laughs and hugs you to his side.

“Y/N! Chenle! Pose for the picture!”

The two of you run to where your other friends are posing, haphazardly getting into the frame and posing crazily.

The air is full of laughter and youth as the sun begins to set on your time in high school. For a moment, you’re too busy basking in the presence of the relationships you have developed while in there that you forget you won’t be seeing these people every day like you had been for so many years. Or that your lives might take completely different courses and things won’t be the same after this. Instead you allow yourself to enjoy this moment.

🏀

You do think about it when you are on your way home though, in the passenger’s seat of Chenle’s car. His hand holds yours over the gear and he smiles to himself while humming along to the songs on the radio, unaware of the internal conflict going on in your head.

It wasn’t until he parks outside your house that he realizes that something is wrong.

“What is going to happen to us now?” Is your reply to his questioning. Chenle’s eyebrows furrow.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean-“ you collect your thoughts, “high school is over, and we’re going to go to college and we will be so busy and what if-“

“Whatever you think will happen, won’t happen.”

You look at him, offended that he could dismiss your worries so easily. “You don’t un-“

“I do understand. You’re worried that now that we won’t see each other every day that we’re going to drift apart, right? And that we won’t be together, am I right?”

You nod silently.

“Y/N, how many times am I going to tell you that I’m crazy in love with you? I won’t let you slip out of my hands, baby. Not again.” Chenle says firmly, sincerely. His eyes widen so you can see right through him and know he is telling the truth.

His pale hands come up to cup the sides of your face, making you face him. Your tear filled eyes meet his own. He brushes away your tear that rolls down your cheek. “I’m sorry, I was just overthinking.” You say.

“Don’t be sorry.” Chenle shakes his head, leaning forward to kiss your cheek lovingly, letting it linger for a few seconds before pulling back. Smiling upon seeing your smiling face.

It happens in a flash, now that the moment was right. Chenle gasps, starling you. “What?! What’s wrong?!”

“I love this song!” And he’s turning it up all the way on the car radio, rolling down the windows and stepping out. “Come on, Y/N!”

You don’t let him see the pure happiness on your face that you wanted to mask with annoyance. Chenle dances on the sidewalk crazily and you laugh in the passenger’s seat. You decide it was best to not let your boyfriend embarrass himself alone, wiping the excess of your tears and step out of the car. “M’lady has arrived to the dance party!” He exclaims.

And as you start dancing wildly together, the sun begins to set causing a golden hue to fall over your features. Anyone watching the scene could either think that you’re crazy or they will see what is really there: split aparts that have finally found one another.

Chenle thinks so too, he stops dancing for a bit to catch his breath and just watches you. He remembers the pain it took to make you his, how much you both cried and the beginning of the relationship was far from ideal. But there is no doubt in his mind that there are not enough glow in the dark ceiling stars in this world that will amount to the love he harbors for you in his chest. He was so happy that he had met his split apart, he couldn’t thank the universe enough.

This when he reaches forward and spins you around to face him. His chest against your own, you feel the rumble of his words from his chest when he says: “I’m so glad I found you.” And then he is kissing you, and the ground seems to melt away from your feet. You’re floating hundreds of feet in air and forget to take a view of your neighborhood from up here because Chenle is all you can think about. Because he makes you feel this way. You whisper in between kisses, he smiles knowingly, he feels it too.

“We.

Are.

Off.

Our.

Feet.”

1K notes · View notes

whole-lotta-hoes · 3 years

Text

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

#led zeppelin #robert plant #jimmy page #john paul jones #john bonham #cursed post #cursed content #crack fanfic #fanfic #led zeppelin fanfic

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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years

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green looks good on you vinny mauro x reader

+++++++++

Request from @gardenjungle : "If you are taking requests, I would LOVE if you could do an imagine where the reader has a ton in common with Chris (likes hockey and Harry Potter, is a vegan, etc...) so they’re super close, and Vinny is super upset about it because he likes her sooo much and “Chris gets all the girls” ??? Vinny gets no love and you’re one of the only people who writes about him often. I’d also love if you could get a little sexy action in there"

Ngl this is like 1600+ words and i wrote it in like twenty minutes and loved every minute of it. i really hope you like it! i didnt end up adding anything ‘sexy’ but its pretty gratifying to say the least lol.

Song: gold by sleeping with sirens

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee @ryansitkowskiswifey @joeybarber @thisplace-ishaunted

+++++++++

i rocked back into the couch, laughing at what chris had said. he was sat next to me, very comfortably, as we chatted amongst ourselves. we had been very close friends for a very long time and i was over the moon that he'd invited me to travel with them for this tour as the videographer. not only did i get to expand my portfolio but i also got to connect with my best friend and his band.

"okay but do you remember that one fall at the orchard when you tripped on that apple and ended up face first in the dirt?"

he laughed out and i sent him a shocked expression.

"i thought we agreed to never bring that up!"

i protested, the other guys around us sort of laughing along, them only half paying attention as they played a new video game. their focus was above our heads.

"but it was hilarious. i looked up for a split second and BAM! there you went."

he said loudly, being a little more expressive at the 'bam.' i shook my head at him.

"okay then, if we are ratting each other out about stupid shit weve done,what about that one time you got your hand stuck in the Christmas tree ties on your dads car?"

i said matter-of-factly. his eyes got wide.

"hey! that was an accident and you know it. we couldve taken my whole arm off!"

he said in his defense.

"i thought it was hilarious."

i said sternly back, smiling widely at him. he stuck his tongue out at me, a notion i gladly mirrored. then he grabbed me around the shoulders, pulling me to him. i screamed at the sudden motion, looking to vinny and rick who were sitting across from us for some guidance but they were to into the game.

"you two are too much."

ricky laughed out, looking at ryan for a second as he walked by. chris pulled me closer before licking a stripe up my face.

"ew!"

i said pulling away from him and wiping his saliva off of my face.

"asshole!"

i said, grabbing his face and blowing raspberries into his cheek. he laughed incredulously, pushing me away from him.

"youre nasty."

he said mimicking my notion and wiping his face. i punched his arm lightly before swinging my legs into his lap, him holding them there and looking down at me endearingly.

"so are you."

i said back, shaking my head at him, nose scrunched.

"you know you love me."

he said, bringing his face closer to mine.

"well yeah."

i said back, squinting at him.

"i think im done for tonight."

vinny said suddenly, pausing the game. ricky sent him a look like 'wtf?' and watched him stand.

"im gonna go get some air."

he said and we all watched him walk off the bus.

"that was weird right?"

i asked and they all nodded. i had a good few chances to talk to vinny since tour had started and he seemed like a really cool guy. someone id be lucky to call a close friend by the time tour was over if not something more. part of me felt bad, like chris and i really where too much for him to handle in that moment. but this was how we always were. we practically survived our teens years together, losing touch for a bit but inevitably going back to the way things where when we found each other back.

"you guys mind if i go out there too?"

i asked and they all sort of shrugged at me, chris letting my legs go so i could stand. as i did i leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

"dont miss me while im gone."

i joked and he rolled his eyes at me.

"of course not."

i laughed a little bit as i descended down the stairs, pushing the door open and seeing vinny leaning against the bus.

"you okay?"

i asked softly, walking to him and rubbing my hands together. i had sort of forgotten how cold it had got. it was late fall after all but the bus was so warm and inviting i didnt even think about grabbing a jacket before leaving. i half shivered as i walked closer, his face being illuminated by the street lights outside the venue.

"uh yeah, everything's great."

he said a little condescendingly, kicking his foot into the gravel under him.

"im sorry if we were too much, i guess when we get together we have a tendency to overshare and its not for everyone. but i suppose thats what you get when youre comfortable with someone the way we are."

i tried to defend to him and he let out a short sigh-laugh.

"its no big deal, you guys really like each other. its cool."

i smiled.

"yeah, hes my best friend."

vinny nodded once.

"how long have you guys been together? i dont recall him ever talking about you before."

i drew my brows.

"together?"

i asked and he seemed just as confused as i was.

"look i get it, chris gets all the girls, being the front man and all."

he seemed a little jealous.

"but i dont think he ever mentioned you before tour started and then one day he told us about some girl coming on to film us. but clearly you guys are close so do you have like a, i dont know, like a open relationship type thing?"

i laughed a little bit.

"you think chris and i are dating?"

he half shrugged.

"well yeah, its kinda obvious."

i shook my head and took his hand in mine.

"vinny i can assure you that chris and i are just friends. if anything hes like the brother i never asked for nor wanted but got anyways. but life just does that sometimes."

he looked down at our connected hands and let go of me promptly.

"i guess it just doesnt seem like that."

he said a little hurt. i sighed and leaned against the bus next to him.

"it would be kind of weird to bring it up to him but i like someone else in this band, if you wanted to know."

i said, looking at him a little hopeful he was picking up what i was putting down.

"oh."

he said sadly. i sighed, i guess not.

"yeah, hes super cool, and nice, and ive really enjoyed connecting with him."

i shivered as the wind blew and he finally looked over at me.

"are you cold?"

he asked, ignoring what i had just said. i nodded a little bit, crossing my arms over my chest.

"just a little bit but i ll be fine."

he shook his head at me.

"no way, here."

he said taking his jacket off. at least he had long sleeves on. he placed his jacket over my shoulders, pulling it together in the front.

"thanks vin."

i said as we both returned to our positions against the bus.

"would your new dream guy do that?"

he half joked, i could still hear the venom in his voice. he was absolutely jealous. i thought it was funny because now he was jealous of himself.

"actually yeah."

he scoffed, hiking his foot up on the side of the bus.

"great."

he said looking away from me. i stepped closer and nudged him.

"he would because he just did."

he looked at me and drew his brows together.

"wait you mean?"

he asked, his face turning to that of shock. i nodded.

"god, yes. vin ive had a crush on you since i got here."

i laughed out.

"i didnt think you would like me back and then i realized just now that that was utter bullshit."

he half smiled.

"and whys that?"

he asked a little cocky.

"you were jealous of chris and that has only happened to me a handful of times in my life. once in highschool when my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i didnt stop hanging out with him. once when i graduated college and my then boyfriend accused me of sleeping with him. and right now."

he looked down a little ashamed.

"yeah i guess that wasnt fair of me to do. i just figured since you guys hit it off so fast that you were into him."

i laughed a little bit.

"dont get me wrong i love him with my whole being, but seeing someone go through puberty just does something to your vision of them ya know?"

i asked and he laughed back, nodding.

"okay, well if you really are into me, would it be stepping to far to ask you out?"

he said hopefully and i grinned widely at him.

"i would love that vin."

he sent me a tired smile in the dim street lights.

"may i also be so bold as to ask if i could kiss you?"

i let out a nervous laugh. i was really gonna let that happen huh? i nodded.

"id like that a lot vin."

he stepped closer to me slowly, placing his hand gently against my cheek, running his thumb over it. his hands were rough and calloused from playing the drums so long but i didnt mind. it kind of felt nice. he looked deep into my eyes before leaning down and capturing my lips in his. all of a sudden it felt like home, like this was it, the thing id wanted for so long and never found. his other hand made its way to my waist as he deepend the kiss. i sighed into him, practically melting against his mouth like chocolate left outside in the sun on a hot day. when he pulled away he rested his forehead against mine and smiled like an idiot, one i gladly returned.

"fucking finally."

i heard from behind me, the bus door clicking closed. both of us turned to look, seeing ricky and chris standing there grinning from ear to ear. i had a mad blush splayed across my face now and was thankful that the light was behind me so it would be harder to see.

"how long have you been standing there?"

i demanded, walking to chris and punching his arm. he laughed in pain as he rubbed his arm.

"long enough to see the sparks fly."

he teased, pushing me back. i rolled my eyes at him.

"get your ass back in the bus."

i said opening the door and escorting him back inside. he made kissy noises at me as rick followed him up the stairs. i shook my head and turned around, jumping a little bit at vinnys presence behind me.

"rick had kind of been waiting for that for a while."

he said, looking up at the now closed door. i raised a a brow.

"oh?"

i asked and he sent me a bashful smile, scratching the back of his neck lightly.

"ive been crushing over you for a while too. and being jealous of chris just as long, rick's been pushing me to say something. i guess it just took one last little push."

he shamefully laughed out.

"at least now we're on the same page."

i said before standing on my tip toes and bringing him down to kiss me again, both of his hands going to my waist.

"now come on, im still cold and the bus is much warmer."

i joked and he nodded along.

"agreed."

#wattpad #x reader #vinny mauro #miw #vinchenzo mauro #Vincenzo Mauro #imagines #one shots #243

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letsdothistom · 5 years

Text

Air Guitar and 85 MPH!

I was going to spend my second “blog” discussing pretentiousness in Santa Fe or New Mexican food and green chile in general. But since I came up with something a little more fun, I guess I’ll save the talk about ordering water in a bowl and drinking it with a spoon for a different time. On my drive back to Oklahoma I thought of a topic that always shows its face when I’m on a road trip. I often forget about it until the next time I’m in the car or just don’t put much thought into it once I’ve opened the car doors and let the dog out to deal with his pent up energy as I unload the car. Not to mention the obligatory hour I have to spend re-aquainting myself to the cat, who is certain that I have disappeared forever this time.

The topic that came to me is road trip songs.

I love road trips. You may think I’m crazy but settling into the driver seat, snacks on the passenger seat, the basset hound panting in my face, his front feet on the console, anticipating our newest adventure, is the best. Within a pretty short time, he tends to realize that this is just another day-long roady and roughs up his blanket in the backseat and settles in for the ride. Giving me weird basset hound glances in the mirror. Not sure if it’s the music or he just wants some pork rinds.

Now these road trips of mine usually arent extravagant or exotic. Unless you consider driving state highways through Kansas, Oklahoma, Wyoming or any other of the fly-over states I tend to travel as being exotic. (Personally I’d choose these drives over just about any other you could propose to me). The great thing about these road trips, aside from seeing so many wonderful historically relevant places (as well as plenty of non-relevant places), and feeling a oneness with wide open spaces, is the time you get to yourself to hone your listening skills.

Those of you that know me, know that I have many preferences when it comes to music. As Cheech says in Up In Smoke, “we play everything from El Chicano to Santana”. I love it all. Some more than others, but I probably have a song or two from every type of playlist or genre that you can think of. Add to that the fact that if there is a specific location I’m aiming my car to (often there is not), I will jam songs from or about that location. For instance, while driving the empty roads of New Mexico it will be Ennio Morricone and The Good, The Bad and the Ugly soundtrack. Wyoming is of course Chris LeDoux country. On my way to Kansas City to eat BBQ, it’s Joe Williams singing “Kansas City” or Charlie Parker and K.C. Blues. Memphis is Sister Rosetta Tharpe (you can keep Elvis, I am not a fan. Yeah, I said it). West Texas? Marty Robbins Gunfighter Ballads, of course! Down south, it’s Big Maybelle, Lightnin’ Hopkins and Muddy Waters. You get the idea. It may seem strange but there is something that touches my soul in listening to those songs that are native to an area. Whether or not I actually do learn anything, it feels as though I have.

With that weird little eccentricity out of the way, let me add that of course there are some staples of any road trip, for me at least. These are songs, albums and artists that I listen to, to fill in all the empty spaces of those relatively uneventful miles, musically or otherwise. Maybe it’s Def Leppard or ACDC or Beyonce or Ariana Grande for you. For me these are easy. I can not even begin to guess how many miles have been eaten up by Merle Haggard, or The Count Basie Orchestra. I am not scared of extreme opposites. Hundreds upon thousands upon tens of thousands of miles have been chewed up by these two musical groups, and yes, I’m aware that I am probably the only person living who can claim that.

The millennials reading this will have no idea about this next category. There use to be these things called albums. Albums were a group of songs, recorded (usually around the same time), and released as a unit to the masses. These units were sold as vinyl records, cassette tapes, 8-tracks, or CDs. Those of us a little older can attest that 90 percent of these albums had 2-4 songs that we liked and a bunch of other average or barely tolerable songs that you listened to whether you liked them or not (if you didn’t have control of the radio in the car). Sometimes, you even grew to enjoy a few of those songs. On rare occasions though, you found an entire album, yes the whole thing! that you enjoyed. For all of us oldies, these albums are near and dear to our hearts. They vary from person to person, but these are a few I can put on and just let them play, enjoying almost every song: Van Halen-1984, Blood Sweat and Tears-Greatest hits, Nirvana-Nevermind, George Strait-Strait From The Heart, Muddy “Mississippi” Waters-Live, Art Blakey-Moanin’, U2-Joshua Tree, Miles Davis-Kind of Blue, Steve Miller Band-Greatest Hits 74-78, IceT-Greatest Hits to name a few of my favorites.

All of these categories are important to a good road trip. You must have a combination of all of them. Yeah, I know, all of you XM/Sirius users are claiming that you don’t need any of them. You got genres on every channel, and all you ever need with all those fancy channels. To those of you in that camp, I say “HOGWASH!” Why Hogwash? Well no matter how specific these channels are, or how much you enjoy the carefree toggling between your favorite genres, no road trip is complete without those irreplaceable, epic, nostalgic songs that nearly blow out your speakers and get your ears ringing whenever you choose to rock them. And how the hell are you supposed to play these favorites 2, 3, 10 times in a row with your XM radio?! You can’t. So without further palaver, I’m gonna lay my favorites out and would love to hear some of yours.

Rich’s top 20 Road Trip Jams (if you have any sense, you will build this playlist!-yeah I know it’s not gonna float everyone’s boat but if nothing else, listen to it, you might find some music that you don’t normally dig.) And for the record, none of these songs ever get bumped off the list, new ones just get added to it occasionally. As weird as it may be, here is my list:

Honorable Mentions. These songs get me thinking about all the great road trip songs and my musical wheels start turning. It’s on when I hear any of these songs.

Runnin on Empty-Jackson Browne, Hello Walls-Faron Young, Blues in Hoss Flat-Count Basie, Night In Tunisia-Ella Fitzgerald, Gimme All Your Love-Alabama Shakes, Miles and Miles of Texas-Asleep at the Wheel, China Grove-Doobie Brothers, Come Down-Anderson Paak, Crosstown Traffic-Jimi Hendrix, El Paso-Marty Robbins, Ida Red-Bob Wills and Sunshine of Your Love-Cream. Those get me started but here is when it gets real.

20-16 These are like the kindling for me. Getting the fire lit, and starting my descent into the next hour of driving, without really remembering the road I’ve just driven or the scenes outside the window.

20) Suavecito-Malo Ok, Ok, it wouldn’t seem like a fire starter, but...

19) Magic Man-Heart This one should get your blood flowing

18) Keep on Rockin’ Me-Steve Miller The best roady to choose from SMB

17) Watermelon Man-Herbie Hancock You might not have soul if you don’t love this

16) When My Train Pulls In- Gary Clark JR Great Long Jam. incredible guitar riffs

11-15 These are a small step up, adding logs to my fire

15) Me and Mrs. Jones-Billy Paul So there’s always a song that you love to sing while you are alone in your car, and you think you sing it just as well as the artist

14) Stairway to Heaven-Led Zeppelin Ok so of course I have it, but this is a really, really great song no matter how many times it is played.

13) Ev’ryday I have the Blues-Count Basie and Joe Williams The definition of a foot stomper.

12) Luckenbach, TX-Waylon and Willie One of the best country songs translates to a great road song.

11) The Story- Brandi Carlisle Not a song liable to be on many lists, road trip or not. My sister introduced me to this years and years ago and it barely misses the top 10

6-10 Ok, we are really cookin with gas now. These are legendary roadies in my book. The dog gives me a look, here we go again.

10) Rooster-Alice In Chains Gets my grunge on. I love everything about this song. Probably one of the biggest contributors to hearing loss in my right ear.

9) Six Days on the Road-Dave Duncan All those over-the-road truckers can’t be wrong, this is the best of all truckin’ songs.

8) Tonight The Bottle Let Me Down-Merle Haggard My favorite country singer and a whole lot of my favorite country music instrument, the steel guitar. Damn I love this song

7) Ticket To Ride-Beatles There are tons of Beatles songs to choose from and this isn’t my favorite, but it is my favorite on the road

6) 867-5309-Tommy Tutone This is my favorite 80s song. And when I hear that guitar riff at the beginning...Jenny, Jenny who can I turn to?

2-5 These are huge, the fire is roaring and I have no concerns as to what is going on at this point. I’ll be singing, playing drums, air guitar. The dog has now tried to cover his ears due to the volume.

5) Jamie’s Cryin-Van Halen Im not sure why, because there are tons of Van Halen songs to choose from, but for whatever reason, this one is my favorite while on the road

4) North To Alaska-Johnny Horton Ok, another one you may not expect at all but damn this is a fun song. I physically can’t help whaling “big nuggets they’re finding” every time!

3) Pink Houses-John Cougar Mellencamp Im not a globalist. ‘Murica!!

2) Sweet Child of Mine-Guns and Roses This should be on everyones list. Road songs or any other. Simply one of the best songs ever.

Number 1!!!

So all the previous songs are great. I love them all, and many, many more. This is an elaborate list for me. If you know me, you know I love lists, and don’t make them without deep thought. But Ironically, the battle for the top spot isn’t even close. I LOVE Sweet Child of Mine, and Pink Houses. I might play them 2 or 3 times in a row, but the battle for number one isn’t much of a battle. Not because these others arent great but because number one is so unbelievably spectacular in the car. I can’t help singing to it, playing air guitar, drum solo in my car, volume literally turned up 3 or 4 times during the song, ears ringing and can’t even hear myself singing, and just when you don’t think it could be any better, it gets better!!! There are times I may play this song 5, 6 times in a row if things are cookin. I can barely keep the needle under 85 mph! The number one song for the road is:

1) More Than A Feeling- Boston I really built it up, and with good reason. Rock ballad, guitar anthem, unbelievable vocals, harmony soft, loud, louder, high, higher, drums...what else can I say? This is simply the best road trip song ever!!

Ok, that’s it. Maybe it was anti-climatic for you, but I got jazzed just listing the songs. I may go take a drive just to hear the playlist! I’d love to hear everyone else’s playlist that they take on every trip. Maybe I’m missing some good road trip songs!

I hope the dog never figures out how to jump out of the car while it’s moving.

#roadtrip music playlist

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yoosmekihyun · 6 years

Text

Good Boys Get Rewarded

Summary: The car accident seemed like a bad stroke of luck until you have to make arrangements with the other driver...

Pairing: I.M x Reader, appearances from Jooheon, Kihyun, and Hyungwon

Genre: Slight Angst, Smut

Word Count: 11,814

Warning: rough sex, femdom, sexual themes, edging, language, slight exhibitionism and voyeurism, oral sex

A/N: Rough play should always involve safewords for the comfort and safety of all parties involved.

Y/F/N = your friend’s name

"Please, please, please..." you whispered turning the key praying to any god who would listen in hopes your car would start this morning. Tomorrow your baby sister was graduating college and you still needed to find the right gift for her.

As your Honda Civic whined to life after a couple attempts to get the engine to turn over, you breathed a sigh of relief. Buckling your seat belt, you put the car in gear and slowly pulled out of your apartment complex parking lot. There were a few places you wanted to check in hopes they would have SOMETHING that your sister would love.

Heading towards the major shopping district of your city, you slowed to a stop at a red light. With your blinker on to turn right, you were waiting for the light turned green since this intersection was notorious for accidents. The city had finally posted a "No Right On Red" sign in an attempt to curb this issue.

Drumming your fingers on your steering wheel, you were thinking about the day ahead and everything you needed to complete to be available to your sister and family the following day. Deep in thought, the light still red, you were suddenly slammed against your steering wheel and pushed forward a few feet. Since your car was so old, it did not have air bags so the hit to the steering wheel knocked the wind out of you and made your eyes start to tear from the pain.

After a minute or so, you were able to get your bearings and realize that you were okay and nothing appeared to be broken. You were going to be sore the next few days but avoiding multiple trips to the doctor would save your bank account a hit you couldn't afford. Gingerly opening the car door, you unbuckled your seatbelt and stepped out of the car. The sight of your trunk crumpled in and your bumper barely hanging on nearly had you bursting into actual tears of anguish and anxiety.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK, what am I going to do?" you said to yourself softly walking around the back of the car to see the extent of the damage.

You noticed the other driver finally exited his car, a newer looking SUV, with his phone in his hand. He seemed completely preoccupied with whatever he was looking at; he still had not looked at or spoken to you. This behavior on top of your totaled car (you didn't need a mechanic to tell you it would cost more than it was worth to fix it) lit a rage-fire in your chest.

"Um, EXCUSE ME douchebag, you fucking rear-ended me and you can't even be bothered to look up from your phone to see if I'm okay? What the fuck?!"

At your name calling and swearing, the offending driving looked up and scowled at you. "I'm texting my boss to let him know I'm going to be late since SOMEONE didn't turn when they had the right of way!"

"Do you even know how to read, asshole?! Do you not see that 'No Right On Red' sign? The light was red, fucker!"

At this information his face fell, "Oh..."

"Oh? All you have to say about totaling my car is 'oh'?!"

"Well, I'm not fighting you on it anymore, what the hell do you want from me?!"

Raking your hands through your hair, you pulled and made a noise of frustration as you looked at him with disdain. "First of all, I would like to see your insurance card and your license so I can take down your information. Second, I would like us to call the police so we can file a police report. Finally, I would like a FUCKING APOLOGY."

At the mention of insurance and the police report, the other driver's face quickly turned white and and his eyes widened. "Can we please leave the police and my insurance out of this? I'll pay to have your car fixed out of my own pocket. I'm so, so sorry I hit you. Please, let's just handle this matter privately. Please?"

His quick change in demeanor and his apparent fear of reporting the incident had you immediately suspicious. Without answering his question you asked "Why don't you want to report this? Why the hell would you want to pay yourself when you don't even know how much it will cost to repair? Do you have a warrant out or something? Do you even have insurance?"

Rubbing his eyes and sighing, he explained, "I have insurance but it's astronomical. I'm one point away from losing my license and another accident on my insurance record and no one will cover me. I have to drive so I can work and be available to help my family since this city has horrible public transit. I don't know what I'll do if my license is taken or if I lose my insurance. Please, I would really appreciate it if we could come to an understanding."

His pleading and explanation deflated your anger. You weren't happy with the fact that his driving record was so poor and he was still on the road. However, you understood what it was like to have people need you and to be stuck without a car. The days your car refused to sputter to life, you had to promise favors and beg someone to take you to work. If you couldn't find someone, you had to take personal leave and your boss did not like that.

"Look, I get where you're coming from. But this car can't be totaled. I need it fixed because I can't afford a new one right now. If I agree to do this, you need to understand that you can't just pay me the value of it and be done with me. It's probably going to take a few days to fix, minimum. What do you suggest I do while it's getting fixed? Because normally I would get a rental at the expense of your insurance."

Furrowing his brow, the other driver thought for a moment. "Well, where do you live and work? Maybe I can just come and pick you up and take you home each day? What are your normal hours?"

Surprised at his suggestion you thought about it for a moment. It would be an easy solution for you, but only if he kept his end of the bargain. He clearly was a poor driver. Were you okay being in a car with someone who seemed to have a proclivity for accidents?

"Let me think about this for a minute. Let me at least see your license so I can have that information. I also need your number if I decide to accept your suggestion."

Without any argument he pulled out his wallet and his license for you. You took a picture of his license to save for your records and handed it back to him. Pulling up the contacts app, you typed out his name and handed him your phone so he could input his number. He did so without a word, still looking incredibly worried.

"Before I tell you what I've decided, Im Changkyun, I have to ask. What were you doing that had you so distracted that you didn't see that I was fully stopped at the light?"

His ears quickly turned bright red and he looked down at his shoes. Changkyun took a deep breath and quickly said, "My friend is working on a mixtape and he gave me the latest update. I had it on in the car and was in the middle of a voice note about one of the songs when I hit you."

Folding your arms you could feel yourself getting angry again. "Seriously? Dicking with your phone was more important than watching the road? Don't you know this is always a heavy traffic area? You can't do shit like that!"

"Look, please stop lecturing me. I'm going to have to literally and figuratively pay for this mistake. Are you going to call the police and my insurance? Or are we going to take care of this between us?"

The sad eyes he was giving you hit you in your core in a way you weren’t expecting. He was just the type you usually pursued when you felt inclined to have a new toy. You gave him a hard look and considered your options. You could do everything the official route and potentially never see Im Changkyun again. There was a chance they would force you to total your car and then you would be royally fucked. On the other hand, if you took care of this "off the books" then you would get to see Changkyun often until your car was fixed. His behavior and bad judgement was making you itch to punish him even though you just met. Ultimately, the most important part of this decision was the resolution of your car. He was promising to have it fixed rather than totaled out and promising to take you back and forth to work until the job was done. You chose the best course of action.

"Okay, Changkyun, here are my terms. I will allow you to take care of paying for the damages without involving any authorities. You will take me to work and bring me home every day until the car is fixed. Depending on how long the mechanic says it will be, you will also take me to run any necessary errands. The grocery store and things like that. However, I don't know you. So we're going to draft up a quick and informal contract stating the agreement. You need to call a friend and I will do the same so they can act as witnesses as we sign it. This way I have legal recourse in the event you don't pay to fix my car or take me to work."

"Wait a second, why do we need a contract? Why can't we just deal with it moving forward from right now? Isn't my word as a verbal contract good enough?"

"Not for me it isn't. The fact that you are in this situation to begin with puts me at an automatic disadvantage. If you decide to stop paying or stop taking me to work, I'm fucked. This way, I have a way to keep you accountable. I don't know you so I don't trust you. Considering we've just met and the circumstances can you really blame me for protecting myself when we're essentially talking about my livelihood at risk?"

Grumbling and frowning Changkyun replied, "I guess not."

"Good. I'm glad we're in agreement. Now call your friend." Your authoritative tone implied you would not ask twice and you expected him to obey immediately.

"We're doing this now?"

Looking stern and annoyed you replied, "Of course we're doing it now, baby boy. You also need to call a tow truck and get my car towed to my mechanic. We're not leaving my wrecked car here on a busy street."

Changkyun's scowl turned to confusion as he thought he heard you refer to him as "baby boy." He assumed he misheard and started making his necessary calls.

You turned your back to Changkyun and a wicked grin spread on your face as you called a friend and hoped she would be available. Y/F/N answered on the second ring and you quickly told her what happened.

“Y/N! Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital? I think you should at least get checked out since you don’t have airbags in that death trap!”

Smiling you replied in a soothing voice to calm her concern. “I’m okay, I promise. I just really need you to meet up with me. I need to take care of a couple things here and I need a witness. Are you available right now?”

“Of course! I’m actually close by. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Once you hung up, you turned back to Changkyun who was also hanging up his cell. Before you began to ask he started to give you the information you needed. “My friend Jooheon is on his way right now. He’s about ten minutes out. The tow truck is going to be a bit longer but we can work on the contract while we wait for that, right?”

“How much longer?”

“About 30 minutes.”

“That’s fine. We need to sort out when you’ll be picking me up and taking me home. We can do that while we wait for our witnesses.”

Nodding in agreement, Changkyun walked to the back of his SUV and opened the hatch. He rummaged around and quickly found a notebook and pen. He handed it to you without a word and you both began to work out the details of your schedules and then sketching out the contract.

You were nearly done writing out the agreement when your friend showed up. She hugged you quickly and gave Changkyun a dirty look.

"Y/N, I'm so glad you're okay!"

Turning back to Changkyun she added, "You're really lucky Y/N is willing to do this. Not many people would. Don't you dare screw her over on this."

At this moment, Changkyun's friend walked up behind him and asked, "Is everything all right?"

Looking relieved, he gave his friend a pat on the back and turned to you and said, "This is my friend Jooheon. He's going to be my witness for this."

Jooheon smiled at you and your friend. Y/F/N scowled at him and you gave him a slow once over. He was...interesting. His dimples and eye smile made him look sweet and innocent. However, his hair was coiffed back from his forehead and his tight, black, ripped skinny jeans hid very little of his thick muscular thighs. Thinking you could potentially test both Jooheon and Changkyun for a later playdate you replied.

"Jooheon? Are you the one with the mixtape?"

Blushing but looking pleased he replied, "Yeah, that's me! Did Changkyun play some of it for you while you were waiting?"

"No. So, Mixtape, it sounds like you might have been part of why the accident happened in the first place. Next time, please make sure your friends don't try to multitask while giving you feedback. Now, we need to get this done. I'm satisfied with what we have here. Are you good to sign this Changkyun?"

Both Jooheon and Changkyun were shocked by your tone and implication. Your friend, on the other hand, had seen you work like this before. She raised her eyebrows at both of them and did her best to keep her smirk to herself. They don't even know what they've gotten themselves into, Y/F/N thought.

True to his word and contract, Changkyun picked you up and took you home every day while your car was getting worked on. Your mechanic texted you daily updates about the progress so you could keep Changkyun informed about the time and cost of your arrangement. You continued to observe him each day to get a better sense of what kind of man he was and what he may be interested in.

One day he picked you up with a backseat full of groceries and party balloons. When you asked about it he replied, "It's my grandmother's 75th birthday tomorrow and my mother asked that I pick up some things for the surprise party for her."

A few days later, you got into his car and noticed gum in his hair, juice stains on his shirt, and childrens toys in the backseat.

"Do you have kids or something?"

"No, I was babysitting my niece and nephew for my sister so she could take care of several errands today. It was fun spending time with them."

"You know you have gum in your hair, right?"

"Yeah, it's not the first time." You laughed at his resigned tone.

"So you've figured out the best way to get it out?"

"Honestly, I need a haircut anyways. I'm just going to go to my barber and get it cut out."

Just as you were beginning to soften towards him and think maybe he was too sweet and caring to be one of your toys, you overheard one of his phone calls.

Walking out of your office building after a long day of meetings and month end reports, you saw Changkyun parked on the street in front of the building. He was leaning on his car, on his phone, and hadn't spotted you yet.

"Aw, baby girl, don't be that way! I can still come by after. I know you miss me."

You paused just within earshot and began eavesdropping. Changkyun was angled in such a way that he wouldn't be able to see you approach.

"You can call me all the names you want, sweet thing, but that doesn't change the fact that you love it when my face is between your legs. So am I coming over later or not?"

Changkyun straightened up and you could see the grin from where you were standing. "Okay, dollface, I'll be over around 11."

He hung up the phone, grin still huge on his face, and turned to see you staring at him with your arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"What?"

"Nothing, sweet thing, are you ready to go? Or do you have more calls to make? You know there's no way I'm letting you use your phone while you're driving me."

At this, Changkyun smirked, "Jealous, sweetheart?"

With a roll of your eyes you replied, "You couldn't handle me, baby boy."

Changkyun's smirk dropped and his eyes grew wide at your response as he watched you walk to the car, open the door, and get in. You looked at him pointedly, looked at your watch, and looked back at him. He shook himself and got into the driver's side. He glanced over at you while he inserted his key into the ignition and started the car.

You could tell he was used to women falling for his pet names and smiles and may have never had someone brush him off in such a way. He seemed slightly rattled. As he put the car into gear and merged into traffic you turned to him and said, "Mario called me a little bit ago and said that my car was done and it's ready to be picked up. Are you going to be okay paying for it today?"

"Yeah, you've kept me updated on the cost, I know what to expect. Thanks for that by the way."

"Of course. So can we go get it instead of taking me home? That way you don't have to chauffeur me around anymore."

You watched Changkyun's face as he frowned slightly and responded, "Yeah we can go head and get it if that's what you want."

"Thank you," you replied and turned to look out the window.

"Does this mean I won't get to see you anymore?"

You turned back to him with a small smile and asked, "Do you want to keep seeing me? Aren't you tired of hauling me around?"

"It hasn't been that bad," he said quietly. "I wouldn't mind seeing you for drinks or dinner sometime."

"What about baby girl that you have some kind of arrangement with?"

Changkyun flinched at your question though you asked it with no malice. You just wanted to know what he would say about it.

"We have an...arrangement. We don't date though. It's just mutually beneficial."

"Ah, I see. Are you saying you want to date me? Or do you just want another 'mutually beneficial' relationship?"

He looked quickly at you as you sat demurely with your hands in your lap waiting for his answer.

"Honestly, I don't really know. I just know I want to keep seeing you."

You looked at him thoughtfully. "Thank you for replying honestly. Why don't we do this--let's see if we meet up organically and if you end up missing me as much as you seem to think you will, you have my number."

"So, you don't want me to take you on a date?"

"I want to see what will happen naturally. That may be us bumping into each other or it may be one of us calling the other."

"You're a strange woman."

"Baby boy, you don't even know the half of it."

The next night, you and Y/F/N go out to celebrate the return of your car. You appreciated the lengths Changkyun went to in order to make sure you got to and from work, but you were not used to relying on others. Having your car back made it feel like one of your limbs had returned.

Getting waived in by the bouncer, you both walk in and head to the bar. Feeling particularly flirty, you had opted for your favorite deep purple, short halter dress that felt a little flowey and brushed just below mid-thigh. Y/F/N was in tailored dress shorts and lace tank top. Both of you had opted for your "fuck me" heels that made your legs look long and gorgeous.

Waiving at the bartender you saw your favorite was working tonight. Tall with dark hair and lips made for begging between your legs, you sighed. He saw you both and began making your drinks without heading to you. You and Y/F/N had been in enough and tipped well enough that he didn't need to ask what you wanted. It was always the same for you both when he was working--top shelf (of course) gin and tonic for you and an old fashioned for Y/F/N. He brought both drinks over and you pulled out your credit card and handed it to him.

"Thanks, Hyungwon. Can you open a tab for us?"

"Of course, Y/N. The first one is on me though."

"You're too good to me! When are you going to realize you're madly in love with me so we can ride off into the sunset together?"

He leaned on the counter and whispered in your ear, "Oh Y/N, you know I can't handle a woman like you. You want me on my knees too much."

Laughing you pulled back and lightly smacked his arm, "This is true. Thank you for the drink, doll. Will you keep them coming? We're going to grab a table for now."

Smiling widely at you both he nodded as you turned and walked away.

During your flirtatious interaction with Hyungwon, Changkyun walked in the door and paused when he spotted you. He wanted to order a drink but he was surprised to see you again so soon. His eyes narrowed as he watched Hyungwon lean in to whisper in your ear and you laugh at whatever he said to you.

As you walked away with your friend and drinks, Changkyun quickly walked up to the bar and grabbed Hyungwon's wrist as he turned away to get back to work. This caused him to jerk his arm away as he turned to glare at the offender but as he saw it was his friend, Hyungwon relaxed.

"Hey man, what's up?"

"How do you know, Y/N?"

"What? Why?"

"Just...how do you know her?"

Looking at Changkyun with surprise he answered, "We had a one night thing a while back. The chemistry is amazing but we're not really...compatible."

"What do you mean you're not compatible? You said there was chemistry."

"Why are you asking this, dude? What's your angle? Who is Y/N to you?"

Sighing, Changkyun raked his hands through his carefully styled hair and responded, "She's the one I've had to drive around the last couple weeks because I totaled her car. We picked it up from her mechanic yesterday so I didn't know if I would ever get to see her again."

Hyungwon smirked at Changkyun as he realized what was happening. Changkyun was not one to fall for anyone but he was smitten with Y/N and was acting like a jealous boyfriend. "Is something else going on there?"

"No...well, not yet? I don't know. I asked her on a date and she gave some answer about seeing what happens naturally. And she kept calling me baby boy. I'm so confused."

Changkyun dropped his head in his hands and Hyungwon patted his shoulder as his grin got wider.

"You know why she keeps calling you that, right?"

"Not really. I just figured it was a quirk or something."

Shaking his head Hyungwon replied, "Oh man, you are in for it. She's calling you that because she's a dom. She's been testing you."

"What do you mean she's a dom?"

"Oh my god, how do you not know this?? She's a dominant in the bedroom. That's why she and I aren't compatible. We both love control and aren't willing to give it up. It was the hottest power play sex I've ever had but it's not what she really wants. She was testing to see if you were a sub."

"...I've never had a woman who wanted to take control. They always say they want me to."

"Do you think you might be a sub? Do you like being in control? She's very...physical...with what she likes to do."

"Well, I've never tried being a sub but for a chance with her..." Changkyun looked over his shoulder to see you and Y/F/N talking animatedly. "I think I would at least try anything she's into in order to get a chance with her."

"Are you sure you mean anything?"

"Why are you asking like that? What kind of shit can she honestly be into?"

"How do you feel about being hit in the face? Or edged to the point you think you might cry? Or choking?"

"She would hit me in the face?"

"I told you, she's a dom and she likes to play rough. Think about it before you do anything. I didn't realize the extent of what she likes and ended up using my safeword."

"You had a safeword for one night with her?"

"Anytime there's going to be rough play, you should have a safeword. Whether it's someone you've been with for 20 years or a new hookup."

"All right, all right, I hear you. I'll make sure I consider all of that first."

"That's all I ask, man. Kihyun's here now, talk about it with him, if you want. I'll grab your drinks."

Changkyun's friend and regular wingman, Kihyun, sat next to him at the bar. Kihyun had recently dyed his hair pink and was already attracting attention from a couple women at the bar in his fitted black button up and snug dark gray slacks. He smirked at the women ogling him and turned to his friend who appeared to be having an existential crisis.

"Changkyun, are you okay? Why aren't you talking to anyone?"

Hyungwon set their drinks down in front of them and answered Kihyun for Changkyun, "He's trying to decide if he thinks he can be a sub for that hot little number in the purple dress over there."

Kihyun looked where Hyungwon was pointing and whistled low. "Isn't that the hook-up where she was rougher than you expected?"

"Yeah, and I gave Changkyun a head's up about it. Apparently, it was her car that he hit and he's developed a little crush on her."

At Hyungwon's comment, Changkyun lifted his head and glared at his friend. Hyungwon was grinning and pushed his drink forward. "Drink up, my friend. You'll need it if you decide you want to take her home."

Kihyun was busy observing you and your friend while sipping his drink. He turned back to Changkyun. "You know, her friend is pretty cute. Do you want to do this? We both might score tonight."

Biting his lip, Changkyun looked back at you. The idea of trying some new things, albeit a little scary, seemed exciting if it was with you. He had been with his share of women but something was always missing. He tossed back his entire drink and turned back to Hyungwon, "Okay, I'm going for it. I just need another. Can you have their drinks refilled in about 5 minutes or so?"

Grinning broadly, Hyungwon nodded and replied,"Good luck, my friend."

Changkyun turned back to Kihyun and asked, "You sure you're okay with this? If her friend doesn't like you..."

"If she doesn't like me...who do you think you're talking to, Changkyun?"

You and Y/F/N found seats within eye sight of the bar and made yourselves comfortable. Y/F/N looked at you and you already knew what she wanted to know.

"Look, it didn't work out, okay? We're just not sexually compatible."

"How is that possible? His lips alone...my god."

"I know, they taste even better than they look but it just doesn't work. He's not a sub or a switch so it was mainly power play which is...okay...but not what I really wanted."

Y/F/N began laughing, "Oh, I know that's not what you really want."

You eyed your friend up and down, taking in her exposed, smooth legs and slightly exposed cleavage and licked your lips. "I know you know what I like."

Leaning back to allow your eyes to linger on her Y/F/N responded, "Yes I do know. I actually really miss it and I think about starting up our former arrangement again. But I'm afraid it'll press our luck to test our friendship that way twice."

You sighed, leaned back, and crossed your legs. "You're probably right. I'm too interested in dick lately anyways."

Y/F/N threw her head back and began laughing. "You seemed a bit preoccupied lately. Did your baby boy give you any problems?"

"Well, he followed through on his agreement, if that's what you mean."

"You know that's not what I mean."

"He was a perfect gentleman. The last day I overheard him making arrangements with a girlfriend or fuck buddy or whatever and that was the only time he even presented any problems."

Disappointed, Y/F/N took a sip of her nearly empty drink. "That's it? There was no punishment or car sex or anything? I knew the second you called him ‘baby boy’ he was in your sights so I'm kind of surprised."

"Well, he asked me on a date yesterday before we picked up my car."

"He what? Does he not realize you don't do that?"

"He just said he wants to see me again but doesn't know in what context. We never discussed our dating lives so I just told him we would see how things happen."

"Y/N. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Giving your friend a stern look you reply, "What the fuck do you think it means? Are you trying to get a punishment now?"

Y/F/N shuddered slightly at the thought and responded, "As fun as that would be right here, I'm actually not. Did you seriously not let that hot piece take you out, ply you with drinks, and then take him back to your place to fuck his brains out? You could be getting laid right now! What the hell!!"

"If he wants it, he'll have to call me."

Looking over your shoulder, Y/F/N gave a sly grin, "Maybe. Or maybe he won't have to."

"What the hell are you grinning about? You're not making any sense now."

At that moment, you heard a deep and familiar voice say, "Funny how quickly things can happen naturally. Looks like the universe wants us to spend more time together after all."

You slowly turned around, looked up, and took in Changkyun's appearance. Wearing tight dress pants that hugged his legs just right with a red silk button down shirt and his hair styled off of his forehead, you could have begun drooling on the spot if you had more drinks in you at this point. You were able to keep your composure and replied, "Fancy meeting you here, baby boy. Who's your pretty friend?"

Changkyun smirked at your nickname for Kihyun, knowing he hated being called 'pretty' and replied, "This is Kihyun. He and I have been friends for ages. This is Y/F/N, right? She was your witness the day of the accident?"

Slightly surprised he remembered, you nodded and said, "Yes, this is one of my closest friends, Y/F/N." As you confirmed the introduction, you reached over to your friend and lightly ran your hand down her arm to test Changkyun's interest. You felt your friend shiver slightly at your touch and you smirked to yourself. Watching Changkyun, he glanced slightly to Y/F/N when you said her name and his eyes quickly landed back on you. You did notice Kihyun take in Y/F/N's appearance and, knowing how much she liked a pretty face, thought Changkyun's choice of a wingman was an inspired one.

You turn to Kihyun and said, "It's nice to meet you. I think I'm just going to call you pretty boy though. You have lovely cheekbones."

At your remark you saw Kihyun scowl slightly but he didn't respond. You could tell he didn't like your nickname for him but, since he wasn't the one you were interested in sleeping with, it didn't matter to you anyways. His dominance was practically rolling off of him and you knew trying to hook up with him would end up with another unsatisfying experience. However, he was just Y/F/N's type so it was likely she would have fun tonight. The ultimate question was, would you?

Turning your attention back to Changkyun, you ask, "So, what brings you here this evening? Did you miss me that much already?"

"I actually have missed you already. Kihyun and I had planned to meet here tonight anyways. Hyungwon is a friend of ours and we like to come on nights he's working if we can."

Your eyebrows raise at his brazen confession and the fact that he knew Hyungwon as well. Did he also know about you and Hyungwon? As far as you knew, he didn't kiss and tell but you never really knew what guys like to talk about. You practically told Y/F/N everything about your sexual exploits which is how she ended up as one of your playthings for a while before you decided to put your friendship first.

"Hm. Well, you can join us if you would like or if you have other things to attend to, we wish you a good evening."

After his conversation with Hyungwon and Kihyun, Changkyun decided he was going to make you his mission this evening and see what would happen.

"We would love to join you."

After they sat down, you made sure Y/F/N and Kihyun seemed to hit off their conversation before turning back to Changkyun. You knew if she needed an out, Y/F/N would fake a headache so you two could leave together quickly.

"Where's your other friend from the accident? Mixtape?"

Chuckling, Changkyun replied, "He's at home, locked in his room with some headphones, working on more beats. He completely loses time in there. I asked him to come and he just grunted and waved me off."

"It's nice to be passionate about something. What are you passionate about? I don't believe you ever really told me."

Licking his lips suggestively, he cocked his head and replied, "I love trying new things."

Ready to curse or thank Hyungwon and his big mouth, you said, "Oh really? What kind of things are you referring to?"

At that moment, fresh drinks were brought to your table and you realized either Hyungwon or Changkyun had been watching you and Y/F/N long enough to know you were getting low. You turned to look at the bar and caught eyes with Hyungwon. He grinned and winked at you before turning to the next patron. That mother fucker, you thought.

"Thank you for the fresh drink, Changkyun."

You managed to catch the slightly surprised look on his face before he masked it with a smile, "You're welcome, Y/N."

After taking a sip of your new drink you leaned forward in your chair so you could speak more quietly with Changkyun. You also made sure the skirt of your dress hiked up slightly showing a bit more leg within his line of sight. "Now, baby boy, you were about to tell me the new things you like to try."

Changkyun gulped at your adjusted posture and change in tone and you watched his adam's apple bob. You gave yourself an internal pat on the back for starting to get him riled up so early. "Well, I really like it when my friends expose me to new things."

"Oh, you do?"

"Mmhmm"

"Let's clear up something right here, baby boy. If we're going to have a conversation, you must use your words."

Changkyun nodded at this and you sternly replied, "What did I just tell you?"

"Oh, um, yes. I'm sorry, you make me nervous sometimes."

You purred slightly at his revelation to you. "I make you nervous? Why is that?"

"You're lovely and clearly a very strong woman." Changkyun looked down and looked back up at you through his eyelashes. "I think you could teach me a lot of new things."

Smirking you replied, "What kind of things do you think I could teach you. Now, be honest baby boy."

Changkyun was surprised your conversation had escalated to this point so quickly. He wondered if he should be honest and tell you what Hyungwon told him or continue to play coy. Well, what do I really have to lose?

He cleared his throat and began, "Well, in general, I like being around you. You keep me on my toes and you're very observant. And I like listening to you talk, your voice is very nice. But, um, I saw you talking with Hyungwon when I came in..."

Your eyebrows shot up at this statement. Was he watching the entire time you had been in the bar? You said nothing and waited for him to continue.

Changkyun noticed your surprise but you didn't interrupt him and so he continued. "When you left the bar, I asked Hyungwon how he knew you and he briefly mentioned your...um...previous tryst. He also mentioned how you like being in charge?"

"Are you asking me a question baby boy? Or are you telling me about the conversation with Hyungwon?"

"Well, both, I think. He mentioned it and I'm asking if you would confirm if he was being honest."

Approving of his clarification you cautiously gave your answer, "Well, it's more than being in charge, sweetheart. I like being in complete control. I like my partner to do what I say without question or complaint. I'm not often gentle and I need my partners to understand that. Because of this, there are often safewords involved. Let me ask you a question, baby boy. Are you wanting to 'learn' how to be a sub for me?"

You watched Changkyun through your answer and you could see the tips of his ears turn red and he appeared to be sweating a little bit. He was listening and considering your words but it was clear that something that you said had aroused him. His tight pants hid very little of his growing erection and his pupils were blown out. You smiled at him while you waited for his response.

He gulped again and replied with two, short words: "God, yes."

"All right then. You understand what is likely to happen if you're with me? Hitting, choking, edging, bondage, things like that?"

He nodded and with a slight desperation he didn't realize he had said, "I'm ready to learn from you. Please teach me."

His desperate plea hit you in your core and you needed to leave with him immediately.

"Do you want to leave now, baby boy?"

Nodding quickly you sharply said, "Baby boy, what did I tell you about using your words? You're going to be punished when we get back to your place."

"I'm sorry. Yes, can we leave now, please?"

Throwing back the rest of your drink you turned to Y/F/N to make sure she would be all right if you left. You found her sitting in Kihyun's lap with his hand stroking her inner thigh while he kissed her neck. Her eyes were closed and she looked completely blissed out.

"Ahem, Y/F/N." She opened one eye and looked at you.

"Mmmmm, yes?"

"I'm leaving with Changkyun. Are you good?"

"I'm soooo good, Y/N. See you later." With that Y/F/N turned and began whispering in Kihyun's ear as she winked at you. You noticed his brief nod so you knew the two of them would be leaving soon as well."

You grabbed Changkyun's hand and headed to the door. Once outside, he tugged your hand slightly in the direction of his car. Before he could open the passenger door, you shifted your weight and pushed his back against the car. Grabbing his collar, you saw the surprise register on his face as you yanked his face down to yours. The kiss was a little messy because of Changkyun's surprise but he quickly wrapped his arms around your waist and tilted your head back to deepen the kiss. As soon as he attempted to take control, you stepped back and pushed him off of you.

"Let's go. Your place. Now."

Standing on the sidewalk, looking slightly disheveled and confused, he opened the passenger door for you. You slid inside and checked your makeup in the visor mirror. Changkyun got into the driver's side and before he could get the car in gear you turned to him and said, "Now baby boy, we need to get there in one piece so be careful. You're already getting a punishment for not using your words properly. If we get in an accident on the way to your apartment, I won't touch you for at least a week."

He looked at you with a slightly horrified look on his face as he nodded and attempted to adjust himself.

Making a noise in the back of your throat, you fully switched into your femdom personality that you reserved only for those who agreed to play. "Baby boy. Words!" you barked, "And who said you could touch yourself?"

"I'm so sorry, I understand. I'll get us there quickly and safely."

"That's better."

As soon as Changkyun unlocked the door, you pushed him inside his apartment and kicked the door shut. Grabbing your hand, he tried to pull you towards a door that you presumed to be his bedroom, but you dug your feet in by the couch as he tugged on your arm.

“Don’t you want privacy? Jooheon is still here.”

“You said he was busy, baby boy. Sit. Now.”

He hesitated and looked towards a closed door and back at you.

“Did I stutter? I said SIT.”

At your tone, Changkyun sat immediately and began to nervously run his hands on his legs as you examined him. “So...um...what would you like to do?”

Slowly grinning, you looked at him. “Oh, sweetheart. Why would I spoil the surprise?”

Looking nervous, you could tell Changkyun had no idea what to think or do. Dialing things down for a moment, sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of the couch. “Okay, hun, you don’t need to be scared. Before we get going though, we need safewords. We’re probably going to get rough and if you don’t like it you have to tell me. I want everything we do to be mutually enjoyable. It’s only fun for me if it’s fun for you too. So, my safeword is Honda.”

Changkyun began laughing, “Honda? Like you’re car?”

“Yes. My car is not exactly sexy so it helps me dial down when I need to. Now, what’s yours?”

Thinking, he replied, “Well, I’ve never had to have a safeword before. Do you think balloons would be good?”

“Do you think you’ll be shouting ‘balloons’ at me in any other context while we’re playing?”

Laughing, he responded, “I really doubt it.”

“Great. Now, there’s a chance you may not be able to speak at some point. If you need to stop, but you can’t speak for any reason, tap my thigh or anywhere you can reach three times in quick succession.”

“What do you mean, I may not be able to speak?” Changkyun asked with a tremor of fear in his voice.

Smiling sweetly, you replied, “Oh baby boy, you’ll see. Are you ready? Do you still want to do this?”

With wide eyes, he gulped and then nodded.

You stood, transforming into your fully dominant alter ego and snapped, “Baby boy, I have told you several times you must use your words. Time for your punishment. If you’re a good boy and learn your lesson, we might get to play. If you don’t, well, we won’t be playing until you get it. Don’t forget your safeword.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh, good boy. You’re learning already. Now bend over with your ass towards me. I want you to face the back of the couch.”

“Um, what are you going to do?”

“You’ll see. Now, that’s the last question I’m going to answer. Turn over. NOW.”

Scrambling to turn around and get his knees on the couch, Changkyun braced himself on the back of the couch facing the kitchen of the apartment. He realized that if Jooheon decided to come out of his room right now, he would see him with his ass out and...something...happening with you. He began to blush at the thought of getting caught. He was terrified but a small part of him felt a little thrill at the risk of it.

You looked at Changkyun’s cute apple booty waiting for your hands. He really wore the perfect pants for something like this. They were tight enough where it was flattering and made his ass an attention grabber for any girl who liked a man with a bit of an ass. The pants were also a thin enough material where you knew he would feel the sting of your spanks though the fabric. It was far preferable to the jeans you had otherwise seen him in the past couple weeks.

Deciding to keep him guessing for a little bit longer, you lightly ran your hand up and down his spine and you watched him shudder. Grinning to yourself, you gripped his hips and he jerked upwards, clearly afraid of what you were about to do. Running a firmer hand up and down his back, you murmured, “Relax baby boy. I promise you’ll be okay.”

You felt him start to relax under your touch and once you felt he had his guard down again, you pulled your hand back and smacked his ass roughly. You knew it stung him; your hand was stinging. You heard him take a quick inhale in and choke slightly.

“You doing okay there, baby boy? You have more punishment before I’m done.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh, you learn so fast sweetheart. Let’s see if you can handle a few more.”

You pulled back and gave Changkyun five quick, sharp spanks. While rubbing and trying to sooth the sting you knew he felt on his ass you asked, “Now, baby boy, did you learn your lesson? Are you going to use your words from now one?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Such a good boy for me. Turn back over and sit down now.”

Without question or complaint, Changkyun did exactly as you commanded. Once he turned over, you saw the large tent his erection was making in his pants and you knew he enjoyed his short punishment far more than you anticipated. After sitting back down, he kept his hand on his thighs and looked to you for further instruction.

You were still fully dressed, heels included, and you decided to put all of this to your advantage. Straddling him on the couch, you gently ran your fingers through his hair and lightly kissed the end of his nose. Changkyun moved his hands to his sides and you could tell he didn’t know what to do with them.

“Do you have any questions for me, baby boy? Anything you want to say?”

“Um, yes, ma’am. Can I touch you? Is that allowed?”

“You are a good boy aren’t you?” you smiled at him sweetly. “Of course you can touch me, baby boy. If you get too rough or try to take over though, that might change. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

His hands slide up your thighs and landed gently on your hips. Pleased he took your instruction so well, you raked your hand through his hair again as you gently caressed his face with your other hand. Once you reached the back of his head with your hand, you grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged it back harshly. Watching Changkyun’s reaction, you noticed his breath hitch again and you lowered to kiss him lightly. His eyes fluttered closed and he parted his lips, ready to let you take full control.

You kept your hand fisted in his hair and quickly deepened the kiss, licking and nibbling at his bottom lip. He put up no fight letting you lead and take control of the kiss. You felt his hands grip your hips lightly, the only sign he was actively trying to control himself and fight against the instinct to take over. You pulled away from the kiss and yanked his head to the side and began to nip, kiss, and suck on his neck and collarbone, trying to find his weak spot. When you nipped lightly at the spot where his neck met his collarbone, he groaned. Success.

You proceeded to leave a mark on the spot for him to see in the morning. When you were satisfied, you leaned back to look at Changkyun’s face. He looked like he was completely content and happy with how you just spent your time. You gently ran your hands through his hair again and kissed him while you rolled your hips on the erection you felt nudging your core. He moaned loudly at the feeling and you smiled deviously again as you continued to roll your hips, testing his self-control once again.

You felt his hands grip your hips and attempt to control your speed but before you could correct his actions, you felt him loosen his grip again to allow you to take your time. Clearly, you chose your new toy well.

Leaning to whisper in his ear, you continued to roll your hips. Your panties had been sticking to you since you pushed Changkyun against his car for the first rough kiss and the teasing you were putting him through was not helping your situation. The friction it provided helped relieve some of your tension, though you were sure it was making things...harder...for Changkyun.

“Do you like how it feels when I rub myself on you, baby boy? You like it when my hot, wet, pussy is leaving a spot on your pants? Do you like knowing that the feeling of your cock rubbing against me is making me wetter? Hmmm? Answer me, baby boy.”

Struggling to speak, Changkyun groaned and breathed out a quick response, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Yes to which part? Be specific my pretty baby.”

“All of it. I love how you feel grinding on me. I love knowing that I’m making you wetter. I hope you stain my pants. I want more. Can I please have more?”

You leaned back to take in his expression. He looked completely fucked and in your control. At this point, you knew he would do almost anything you asked him to do and you relished in the trust, power, and control he was giving you.

Pulling yourself back, you moved your leg so you could sit next to him on the couch. The change in positions caused his eyes to fly open and look at you with a confused expression.

“I need you to strip for me, baby boy. Slowly.”

“...strip?”

“Yes, the way you would want me to strip for you, I want you to do for me,” you clarified with a sly smile.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Changkyun stood and the confidence you saw in the bar was back full force. He toed off his shoes and gave you a smirk. “Ma’am, you said to strip for you the way I would want you to strip for me?”

“Yes, baby boy.”

“Am I allowed to touch you then?”

Considering him for a moment, you made yourself more comfortable on the couch in anticipation of the show you were about to receive. “You can touch me until I tell you to stop. Do you think you can stop if I tell you?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Well, get on with it. You can’t take care of the mess you’ve made of my panties until you get those clothes off.”

At your comment, Changkyun gulped and responded, “Of course, ma’am.”

He quickly took his phone out of his pocket and with a few taps, sensual music was emanating from his phone. He emptied the rest of his pockets and slid his hands up his torso and into his hair as he did a couple of body rolls. You were already pleasantly surprised by how quickly he complied with your command with very little shyness.

He surprised you again by straddling you and rubbing his erection along your torso slowly. He moved his hands to the buttons on his shirt and began to slowly unbutton each one as he kept eye contact with you. Once his shirt was unbuttoned, he leaned over and gently stroked your face with one hand and gave you a light kiss. Leaning into your ear he whispered, “Will you help me finish taking my shirt off? I want to please you so much.”

“Of course, baby boy. How could I say no when you ask so sweetly?”

You then placed your hands just above his erection and slid them slowly up his torso, feeling his muscles contract under your touch and his breath stutter when you grazed his nipples. You pushed his shirt off his shoulders and slid your hands down his arms along with the shirt.

“Will you please touch me?”

“You still have clothes on, baby boy. I’ll only touch you when you get your pants off.”

“Can I touch me? Can I show you?”

“You can show me until I tell you to stop. And don’t you dare think you can cum in your pants. Your cum belongs to me.”

At you answer, Changkyun began to rotate his hips and sliding his hands up and down his torso. It was clear to you that he had enjoyed touching himself in this way before and you were enjoying the show he was giving you. You moved your hands to his thighs and slid your hands slowly up and grabbed his ass causing him to jerk slightly in surprise.

“I still see your pants on, sweet boy. I need you to take them off for me.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He slid his hands down to his belt buckle and keeping his eyes on you slowly undid his belt and slid it through the belt loops. He dropped the belt and moved quickly to the button on his pants but instead slid his hand down to rub harshly along his cock straining in his pants. His eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of the friction and relief he had been waiting for. Keeping him on his toes, you slid one hand up his thigh along his inseam and cupped his balls while he palmed himself.

“You’re trying my patience, baby boy.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am.”

He stopped palming himself reluctantly and unbuttoned his pants and slowly slid his zipper down. “Do you want me to pull my cock out for you?”

“Not yet, sweetheart. Stand up, take your pants off, and get on your knees.”

Practically tripping over himself to obey your command, Changkyun did as you asked. On his knees in front of you, you leaned forward and grabbed his hair roughly and yanked his head back. “You took too long, baby boy. I’m impatient now. I was going to cum on your cock first but now I think I’ll have to settle for cumming all over this beautiful face of yours. What do you think about that?”

“Anything you want, ma’am. I promise I’ll make you feel good.”

“Good answer, sweet thing. I want you to take my panties off, slowly and hand them to me. Then you need to get to work.”

“Anything for you, ma’am.”

You released his hair and leaned back on the couch as Changkyun reached under your dress and hooked his fingers on the band of your panties and slowly slid them down your legs while keeping his eyes locked on yours. As soon as he pulled your panties over your heeled feet, he slowly brought them to his face and inhaled deeply. His eyes rolled in the back of his head and fluttered closed as if he was in ecstasy. When he opened his eyes he looked at you and reluctantly placed the panties in your open palm.

Without a word he slid his hands up your thighs, pushing up your dress. You opened your legs for him and he stared at your wet lower lips for a moment before he practically dove in like a starved man. You scooted down a bit more so your ass was on the edge of the couch. You put one heeled leg over Changkyun’s shoulder and braced your other foot on the coffee table behind him.

You reached down and ran a hand through his hair while your other hand still gripped your panties. You dropped your knees further so you could have a clearer view of Changkyun’s face. His eyes were closed and his brow was furrowed in concentration. Every now and then you would hear and feel him hum or moan as his tongue worked to get you cumming on his face as promised. You leaned your head back so you could relax and enjoy his very talented mouth.

Feeling yourself remarkably close to cumming after just a few minutes of Changkyun’s ministrations, you moved to trap his head between your thighs and grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged harshly. His eyes snapped open as he paused and looked at you.

“I’m close. Stick your tongue out so I can rub myself on your face.”

At your demand, Changkyun groaned as his eyes rolled back into his head and he complied quickly. Holding his hair as an anchor, you braced each foot in preparation for the necessary leverage. You began to rock yourself on his face and felt Changkyun’s slide his hands under your ass to help give you support as you felt yourself close to falling over the edge. Feeling a muffled moan from him helped you topple over the edge and you came hard on his face, as you promised. Slowing your rocking motions as you rode out your orgasm, you finally let go of Changkyun’s hair and dropped your legs.

Sighing you opened your eyes and saw your plaything look at you with a triumphant smile, his face shining with your wetness, still sitting obediently in front of you. You slid back slightly on the couch so you could lean forward.

“You did so good, baby boy. Did you enjoy how I used you? Did you like how I rode your face?”

“Yes, ma’am. You smell and taste so good. Can I do that for you again later?”

Smiling and cupping his face you replied, “I think that may be acceptable. But only if you’re a good boy. I only reward good boys.”

You leaned down and gave Changkyun a few light kisses and you felt him melt into you as you deepened it and tasted yourself on him. Grabbing your panties, you lightly patted his face drying the wetness that remained. At your action he grabbed your wrist and frowned at you.

“I don’t want you to clean it off.”

“You don’t get a choice in this, baby boy. Unless you want to use your safeword over this?”

He shook his head like a small child, dropped his hand, and let you finish. “Now, since you decided to interrupt me, I think maybe you need to be taught another lesson. Take off your underwear and sit on the couch.”

At your tone, Changkyun jumped up and ripped his underwear down and sat next to you. At the mention of another punishment, he seemed elated. It took everything you had to keep the stern look on your face as you straddled him again. Inside you were ecstatic that it appeared you may have found a good toy who would want to play again another time.

“Since you decided to open your mouth and question me again, I have to make sure you’ll stay in your proper place while I have my fun. Open your mouth.”

Slightly confused, Changkyun did as you asked and you pushed your soiled panties into his mouth as a makeshift gag. Once he realized what you were using, he moaned loudly.

“Now, sweet thing, you’re going to have to watch how loud you moan otherwise Mixtape may come out here and see what a naughty boy you are for me. Do you want that?”

Eyes wide in alarm, he shook his head quickly. “Okay then. I guess you’ll have to learn how to be quiet, hmm?”

Changkyun nodded his head vigorously. Little did he know what you had in store for him. “Now, baby boy. I have some condoms, are you allergic to anything?”

Once he shook his head to indicate he wasn’t, you leaned down to grab your small bag next to the couch and fished out a condom. You slid your hand slowly down his torso until you reached his groin and then gripped the base of his cock. Changkyun jerked slightly at the first touch of your bare skin touching him. He dropped his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. You could tell how worked up you had made him as you observed his breath increase and skin flush more. Slowly stroking him along his length, you rubbed the large amount of pre-cum along the head. At your attention, he moaned loudly again, through your panties. With his eyes closed, you allowed yourself to grin wickedly at his responsiveness.

Opening the condom packet with your teeth, you slowly rolled it down as you internally admired how hard Changkyun was and how good he was being. He seemed to have fully let go and completely submit to everything you were doing or wanted to do. You hadn’t had a male sub this compliant...perhaps ever.

At this realization, you felt a fondness for Changkyun wash over you and you leaned down to whisper in his ear. “You’re still going to get punished for questioning me, sweetness, but you’re being so good for me right now. You look so pretty sitting here with my dirty panties in your mouth, obeying me like such a good boy. Are you my obedient baby boy?”

He opened his eyes and looked at you with a surprising amount of adoration and lust before nodding to answer your question.

“You like doing what I tell you, sweet thing? You like it when I control when you cum?”

Changkyun moaned and nodded vigorously for you again.

“Do you want me to sit on your cock now? Do you think you’ve been a good enough boy for that?”

With this you felt him slide his hands along your thighs and settle on your hips. He leaned forward so he could place his mouth near your ear and gave a muffled “Mmmhmmmmmmmm.”

You felt your core pulse at his touch and response. Knowing you would be cumming again soon, you gripped the base of Changkyun’s cock and teased the head along your entrance. Enjoying the torture you were giving yourself as well as the response of Changkyun’s nails digging in briefly at your hips, you dipped lower to allow just the head inside. You could feel him tense under you as you knew he was doing everything he could to restrain himself. Lifting off of him to tease the entrance of your dripping pussy again he groaned loudly.

You heard a noise in the other room and knew there was a possibility of being interrupted soon. With intent of making Changkyun moan as loud as possible so as to get the interruption you were hoping for, you slammed yourself down onto his length to the hilt, relishing in the stretch he gave you and how full you felt in this moment. You lost yourself for a moment and moaned in relief as you heard Changkyun give a loud long moan at the same time.

Since you came once and were still worked up, thanks to your new sub, you didn’t need time to adjust to Changkyun’s size. You immediately began to roll your hips slowly to enjoy the feeling of him entering you repeatedly. Looking down at his face, you could see how completely lost in the feeling Changkyun had become. He continued to make the sexiest moans you had ever heard through your panties which added to your arousal. You knew there was a good chance you were making a mess on the couch but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. As you quickly approached your second high of the night, you heard a door unlatch and open and saw Jooheon step out of the bedroom with messy hair, wearing only loose pair of sweatpants hanging low on his hips and a white tank that showcased his defined biceps.

Changkyun was so focused on his own pleasure, he didn’t even register the noise behind him. You kept the pace of your hips on Changkyun and as you locked eyes with Jooheon, you came hard with a loud moan. Jooheon’s mouth dropped open at the display, clearly shocked at everything in front of him.

You pointed at the door behind him and commanded, “Get the fuck back in your room, Mixtape. I’ll deal with you later.”

Not knowing how to respond and feeling the tent in his pants quickly getting bigger, he rushed back into his room like you instructed.

At your response to Jooheon, Changkyun had jerked in a slight panic and you lifted yourself off him and held his cock at the base and squeezed. “I’ve got you, sweetness. Don’t worry about anything. And don’t you dare cum yet. I’m not done with you.”

On the other side of his bedroom door, Jooheon ripped his pants down and began to stroke himself. In less than a minute he was fully hard and began to jerk off in earnest. Leaning back against the door, he imagined you cumming on his cock and moaning loudly in his ear as he slammed his hips up into you. He could hear the murmurs of your voice and Changkyun’s moans on the other side of the door and he incorporated the noises into his fantasy of you and imagined that his best friend’s moans were his instead. After only a couple minutes of furiously stroking himself, Jooheon came all over his hand and the floor in front of him.

You continued to ride Changkyun to another hard orgasm for yourself and edged him two more times. After the third time you denied him his release, tears started to roll down his cheeks. You paused your hips when you noticed this and stroked the side of his face, wiped his tears, and pulled your panties out of his mouth, “Safeword, sweetheart?”

“No, ma’am.” You smiled and leaned down to whisper in his ear, “You’ll cum soon, baby boy.”

Knowing he may not be able to handle anymore edging, you began to ride Changkyun with the intent to make him cum. You felt yourself building to your fourth orgasm and just as you felt the pleasure wash over you, you felt Changkyun stiffen and grip your hips as he began to chant your name like a mantra with slight upward jerks of his hips. Knowing how intense an orgasm could be after all the teasing and edging he endured, you allowed his lapse in behavior while you gently stroked his face and ran your fingers through his hair as he rode out his release.

Once the intensity of his orgasm had passed, Changkyun’s hands slid down your legs and landed limply at his side. His head rested on the back of the couch and he looked completely spent. You lifted yourself off of his softening dick and you both hissed.

“Changkyun, sweetheart, where’s your bathroom?”

He pointed to a partially open door just off the living room and you headed there after standing and getting your balance. You hadn’t ridden someone for that long in a while and you forgot that you still had your heels on. Pausing at the door frame, you stepped out of them and left them at the bathroom door. Once you closed the door behind you, you leaned on the vanity and took a look at yourself in the mirror. You glowed with the satisfaction that you knew always came with finding a good sub and cumming multiple times. The fact that you came so many times was definitely going to be a factor in the decision to keep Changkyun as a toy for a while.

After relieving and cleaning yourself up, you stepped into the living room. Leaving your heels by the bathroom door, you walked over to sit next to Changkyun on the couch. While you were cleaning up, he had pulled his boxer briefs back on and was sitting limply on the couch with his eyes closed. Feeling a rush of affection for him, you lifted one of his arms and snuggled yourself into his side. His grip tightened on your side as he pulled you closer. He kissed the top of your head and you felt him rest his head on top of yours.

As you both sat side by side, enjoying the silence and afterglow, you heard a door slowly open and a timid voice ask, “Can I come out now?”

#I.M smut #monsta x smut #im changkyun #monsta x scenarios #changkyun x reader #monsta x fanfics #good boys get rewarded #yoosmekihyun

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adelmortescryche · 6 years

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YOI Fantasy Week - Day Four

AN: And here’s my promptfill for day four, as promised, @yoifantasyweek! Filling the prompts mermaid and ocean. I suppose it fills serenity, too, to a certain extent…

Premise: This is part of a larger universe, where all the characters are different kinds of mermaids, following the pattern of the ones mentioned on this list: https://lolalittlebub.tumblr.com/post/163843212538/im-a-seahorse-trainer-edit-disclaimer-this

I’ve got a more detailed explanation about how this ‘verse came to be on this post, but suffice to say that this is an AU take on canon where they’re all singers instead of skaters (haha, no legs to skate on *is shot*), and where something similar to the Sochi banquet happens, except that Yuuri disappears soon after, and Victor has to search for him till he finds him. This part is set in Yuuri’s POV - I’ll have more up for the AU in Victor’s POV after we complete Fantasy Week. Here’s hoping at least some of you will enjoy it!

(It’s also called the Mermaid Pirates AU for a good reason. Honest. *grins wryly*)

Fantasy Week Promptfills: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

It’s a bit like a hurricane, really. Or, at least, what hurricanes look like when you’re dumb enough to get stuck in them while high up on the surface. Which Yuuri has done one too many times, but that’s just him - he’d been called a thrill chaser of the worst kind, back when he’d been at the University of Music in Atlantica. He’d given up singing years ago, resigning himself to the fact that he would never be able to sing the way Victor did, and drifting for a few years before getting into the business of salvage because it was easy. And, honestly, because it was easy to keep singing when there was no one around to hear him.

That’s why it’s like a hurricane. There he’d been, innocently picking his way through the new ship that had been sinking to the bottom of the sea bed, when he’d heard the most angelic voice reverberating through the water. It had distracted Yuuri from his own singing, and had drawn him upwards in a stupor, barely avoiding the denser wood and bodies sinking deeper. And when he finally reached the surface, half-lit by the pale light of the Tide Mother, it was to find his idol seated high on a rock formation sticking out of the water.

He’d drifted closer and closer, agape, not registering that he’d automatically started humming along with Victor’s words until the older merman and broken off with a start.

Their eyes had met for a split second before Yuuri dived away with a shriek, tail powerfully propelling him downwards faster than even Victor’s inherited deep sea strength could catch up to.

For all that Yuuri had given up his possible career as a royal guard to take up singing instead, it was times like this that he was grateful to have done the training at all. The muscle power it had left him with meant he could move a whole lot faster than most anyone could when he wanted to.

Useful, when feeling something like this.

Phichit, obviously, couldn’t stop laughing, once Yuuri actually convinced himself to fess up. Yuuri sighed, and made himself sit down on one of the many colorful stools that were a part of his friend’s home. Yuuri couldn’t understand how Phichit enjoyed living in such a colorful apartment complex, but Phichit had always explained it away as being a ‘family’ thing. Which, yes, nearly every coral reef merperson Yuuri had met tended to be as loud as his friend. But-

“Again, tell me again. You swum away?!” Phichit choked out, dissolving into chortles again at Yuuri’s long-suffering expression.

“I- the voice was beautiful, okay, but I wasn’t expecting to see-see-” Yuuri’s retort faded into a drawn out groan, remembering just how glorious Victor had looked up on the surface, his tail and the scales on his skin as ethereal as they’d looked in every poster and ad Yuuri had ever seen him in. Being part Arctic and part Deep Sea meant his scales ran the gamut between icy blue to dark blue and black; Yuuri even had some rare posters where he could see the surreal glowing streaks running through his tail. And that combined with his long, silvery hair-

Phichit cackled, and Yuuri came back to himself with a wince

“You’re so gone on him, bro. It’s adorable. I always knew you were gone on him, but-”

“Phichit-kun.”

“Okay, okay, sorry. But you looked so flustere- so! How’d he look! You said you’d been singing too, did he like what he heard?”

Yuuri cringed, and glanced away. His singing was no good, Victor had probably stopped because of how ugly Yuuri’s humming had made his song sound.

He yelped right after, when Phichit bopped him on the head.

“You,” his friend said with a glower, “are silly. And ridiculous. And think too much. Your voice is great, Yuuri, stop putting yourself down.”

Yuuri gave him a smile to placate him, and changed the subject. From the way Phichit rolled his eyes, he could recognize the diversionary tactic from a mile away, but he let it slide.

The next time was just as bad, honestly. It didn’t hit him with the same force as a hurricane on the surface, but that was only because, the second time around? Victor was the one who snuck up on him.

Yuuri’d been minding his own business. Again. And had been busy at work with salvage. Again. Nothing that should have warranted Victor Nikiforov appearing out of the depths to catch his hands and stare up soulfully into his eyes.

“You,” said Victor Nikiforov, “Have the voice of an angel.”

Haha, no, said inner Yuuri. This can’t be happening to me. I quit.

Omigod he’s so beautiful, said inner Yuuri’s understudy, and made a garbled sound as he fainted in awe.

Yuuri, for his part, stared up at Victor Nikiforov with his eyes huge in his head, wondering if it would be too much of a social faux-pas to faint in awe like inner Yuuri’s understudy.

Not at all, cackled inner Phichit. I mean, look at those lean muscled arms and that broad chest. Faint away, fair Yuuri- urk.

“That- can’t be true. If you’re saying I have the voice of an angel, what does that make you?” Yuuri asked faintly, shutting out his inner Phichit, and watching with wide eyes as Victor flushed a pretty, pale pink in a wide swath right across his face, catching his nose and ears too.

It was possibly the most adorable thing Yuuri had ever seen, and he had no idea how to react.

“Y-Yuuri,” he whined, and Yuuri gaped a little more.

“You know my name. How do you know my name?!”

Victor stared back at him, visibly confused.

“Of course I know your name. We met at the post-annuals at the University of Atlantica; you’d been in your final year, and I’d been called in as a judge? We danced and sang a duet together in the after party, don’t you remember?”

No, Yuuri does not remember. Yuuri is currently in the middle of an imminent breakdown, inner Yuuri and his understudies gibbering helplessly. It takes Victor’s hands reaching up to tighten on his shoulders to calm him down enough to actually look up and pay attention to Victor again.

Victor looked a little confused, but also very serious, clinically observing the expression on Yuuri’s face.

“Your voice,” he repeated, “is beautiful by itself. I didn’t lie when I said it is the voice of an angel. But what I love more is to sing along with you, because we sound like something new and unheard of together.”

And proceeded to ignore any of Yuuri’s protests to the statement, instead tugging him back upwards to the little island Yuuri had first seen him on. The water was turbulent up above, so much more violent when Yuuri could feel it drumming up against the rocks and against his skin. There was water dropping down from above, returning to the ocean beneath, and Yuuri found himself sitting and clinging to Victor, wide eyed, because this ‘storm’, by the human name, was absolutely breathtaking.

And then Victor opened his mouth, and wordlessly threw his voice upwards to the sky, the strength of his lungs enough to pour out the kind of music Yuuri had heard from the ancestor-elders, bleeding their songs through the depths for years on end, singing to each other and to anyone else who cared to listen. It’s almost unnerving, to hear that depth of sound coming from another merperson, but Yuuri is more humbled than disturbed, because the song is hauntingly surreal, speaking to that part of him he knows is endemic to anyone from the depths of the undersea kingdom.

Victor had never been recorded singing like this before. But it’s what had drawn Yuuri up through the remains of a sinking ship, called forth on sheer instinct. It’s beautiful, and Yuuri can only cling to him, hesitantly lending his own voice to the harmony, smiling in spite of himself when Victor’s arms tightened around him.

“I always sing, up in the storms,” Victor said easily, later, when they were tired of singing. Still lounging on the rocks, arms tight around one another.

“Human storms,” Yuuri murmured, peering outwards.

The ocean had calmed, as had the skies, the Tide Mother’s light coming down in pale rays from between the misty clouds above. Yuuri knew bits and pieces of the world above, had spoken to old fishermen and women who wouldn’t carry tales to their children, only wanting to share themselves with the depths the way Yuuri and his family shared themselves with the land, at times. But he had never stayed up for so long on the open waves, even in the dark of the human night. The emptiness is almost as humbling as sound of Victor’s song.

“Human storms,” Victor agreed, his lips curling up into a smile where they were pressed against Yuuri’s temple.

“You asked me to come away on an adventure with you when we sang together, Yuuri. I’ve been chasing adventures ever since, because you disappeared and I couldn’t find you.”

Yuuri flushed red, and he hid his face in Victor’s throat. The fact that Victor hadn’t let go of him once, not since they’d levered themselves up onto the rocks, told him that Victor wasn’t even exaggerating the claim to have been chasing him. What he can’t understand is how Victor feels so strongly about that time spent together - it’s been so long since Yuuri had been in the university, too.

Ah, but you’ve been chasing Victor just as long, haven’t you? Asked his inner Phichit, and Yuuri sighed, his fingers delicately slipping down Victor’s flanks to come to a rest against his hips.

“I don’t have any adventures to take you on,” he confessed in an undertone. “I’m just a salvager. Who sings in his spare time. There’s nothing interesting about me. Not like you. You’re the best artist in our generation, the royal family loves your voice, you sing to the skies, like the ancestor-elders sing to the depths. Why would you want to chase me?”

Victor was silent for a moment, long enough that Yuuri began to pull away, but Victor tugged him closer when he tried.

“…isn’t it enough that I wanted to chase you anyway? I think you sing beautifully. And I think I want to know you. I don’t need to be promised adventures, but I feel like we’ll have them if we’re there to chase them together.”

Yuuri peered up at him, bemused. Because Victor looked so damn earnest, it didn’t feel fair to crush that purity of feeling. He’s about to crush it anyway, because honestly, people like Victor didn’t belong with people like him, when Victor gave a sudden gasp, snatching his arms away from Yuuri’s person and dragging himself up higher on the rocks.

“What? What is it?” Yuuri called out at him, alarmed.

“A ship!” Victor called back, sounding delighted. “They’re coming this way, maybe they heard us singing!”

“That isn’t exactly a good thing- what if they decide to attack?” Yuuri shot back, and Victor laughed.

“They won’t. I’ve drawn ships to me before. The sailors are more likely to throw themselves overboard or jump into their tiny boats to get away than they are to attack me.”

Yuuri stared up at him, incredulous. The wind was building again and Victor’s hair, nearly dry after how long they’d spent up on the rocks, was blowing up around him like something out of a dream, flowing as lightly as it had when they’d been in the depths. When he looked back down at Yuuri, face lit up in glee, Yuuri had to laugh, and pull himself up higher as well. He got an arm around his waist for his troubles, and pressed closer to the other man to whisper into his ear.

“What do you say we sing some more, then?” He said, feeling mischievous, like something elemental had lit up in his veins. “I bet you we could draw them closer. Your voice definitely could.”

Victor shivered against him, his lips lifting up into a smile that glinted with sharp teeth.

“It could, couldn’t it. Yes, Yuuri, yes.”

“A ship,” the Queen said, staring at them both with a blank expression on his face.

Yuuri shuffled in place, wondering if he should back off slowly. He’d known Otabek since he’d still been a prince, but that deadpan expression on his face had only grown more iron-clad with age. Victor was still beaming at their Queen, the expression barely making a dent in his good humor.

“Yes! A large one, too, we could bring down the treasure they had on board. My Yuuri put the anchor down by our little island; it won’t be going anywhere any time soon. Yuuri already knows his way around salvage, and-”

“A ship. A human ship, that isn’t a wreck, and you ‘anchored’ it near our kingdom?” Otabek repeated, voice mild, and Yuuri winced.

“Your highness, in our defense, they were drifting in our direction anyway. They would have come up on the rocks whether we got involved or not. This way the ship remains unsunk and in one piece, and a majority of the human sailors survived, so their corpses won’t pollute our water either.” Yuuri said quickly, and Otabek’s gaze slowly shifted to him.

“Katsuki,” he said, and Yuuri straightened immediately, recognizing the tone from his days in training, “humans carry tales.” It might have been best to let them die, was what went unsaid, and Yuuri stiffened.

“Your highness,” he ground out, and cut himself off when Victor got a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Otabek,” he said, and Yuuri jerked around to stare at him, “The only thing they’ll carry tales of are of haunting music in the night, and of rocks that loomed up at them out of the dark. There are enough stories of sirens in the human world, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind taking credit for this too.”

Otabek stared back at them both with narrow eyes, then leaned back in his seat. Yuuri was distantly relieved the Queen had chosen to meet them in his study, this meeting would have been a lot more nerve-wracking if it had taken place in the throne room.

“Very well,” Otabek said finally. “Katsuki was already listed as a privateer, I suppose this would come under his bailiwick.”

“My Yuuri’s a privateer?” Victor gasped, at the same time the Yuuri groaned, and covered his face with his hands.

“That was only when I was still working with Phichit and Sueng-Gil, your highness. I’ve been in solo salvage for a long time now.”

Otabek stared at him silently, and Yuuri didn’t need to hear anything said to know that the Queen was laughing at him. A lot.

Victor just looked about as bright and gleeful as he had earlier, damnit. And something about that innocent delight made Yuuri want to do all the terrible things that he knew Victor was imagining.

Chasing adventures, was it. Fine. Fine.

“Fine,” Yuuri said out loud, scowling at the Queen, and quickly lifting his arms to steady Victor’s weight when the older merman threw himself at Yuuri. “I’ll do it. I’m in.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re the ones who came in to tell me that you’d commandeered a human ship.” Otabek said blandly, and Yuuri just stared back at him with an equally blank expression on his face.

“I wonder when the next storm’s going to come in,” Victor wondered out loud, and Yuuri nearly keeled over in shock.

The Queen? Just laughed at them both. Out loud, this time.

Yuuri’s life. Honestly.

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rfsak2 · 6 years

Text

Cactus, Part XIII

Hope ya like it!

Cactus, Part XIII Summary: Success. The Styles Warnings: None.

“So you’re married…”

She nodded, smiling awkwardly at the boy. “I’m married.”

“Seem young.”

He was sixteen and pursuing the dream and she thought briefly to how Harry must have been at this age.

But this kid was not Harry and she’d bet the commission she was making on this gig that his mom was no Anne Twist.

“I’m more than old enough.”

He bit his lip, a move she was sure he thought would make him the next Justin Beiber. “But are you still down to fool around?”

“No.” To her consternation, he was tall so she had to tilt her head all the way back to make stern eye contact. “I am not down to fool around. I’m married and you’re sixteen.”

“Yeah, but… it’s 2019, baby, what does marriage or age even mean anymore?” He attempted to put his hand on her shoulder and she backed away.

“I’m married.” She was trying to be calm. “The only person I want to fool around with is my husband. That’s a good portion of the reason why I married him.”

“Yeah, but-”

“No.”

Jeff Bhasker entered the booth, arms folded across his chest, and stared the kid down. “Look. You’re new around here, but I’m going to explain something. She’s one of the best guitarists of her generation. She has job security. You don’t if you don’t make something good happen here.”

“Yeah, well even if she wasn’t you wouldn’t fire her right, given who her-”

“It has absolutely nothing to do with who she’s with and it’s ridiculous to think so. Her being married to someone doesn’t make her any less of more talented. So listen to me: I literally will throw you out of this studio if you don’t straighten out and stop harassing her. You have done nothing to make me feel desperate to keep you. On the other hand, she had somewhere in the range of 200 song credits to her name. I’m desperate for her to stay.”

“But-”

“No.”

Her phone rang, a recording of Harry just saying her name over and over playing in the tense silence. She glanced at Jeff and he motioned her out. “I’m gonna continue talkin’ to my man here. See if we can’t come to some agreement.”

“Hey baby.” She closed the door to the booth and stepped out into the hallway. “What-”

“Monster, I know that you’re in studio but listen-” There was a shuffle as he pulled the phone from his ear.

All of a sudden, she could hear the first line of Expectations filtering through the phone.

I was never expected

“Holy Shit, baby!! It’s my song!”

He chuckled on the other end of the line. “I know, love. Congratulations!”

“What radio station are you on?” She rushed back into the studio where Jeff was still discussing with the kid. She pulled up iHeartRadio on the computer, taking Jeff’s chair.

“KIIS-FM.”

“What? Seriously? No fuckin’ way, baby!” Jeff poked his head out of the booth and Jamie waved him over. “Really?”

She hit play as Jeff rounded the table, coming to stand next to her, the kid lurking in the door to the booth. “What’s goin’ on?”

If I sold myself short-

“Jamie-Wamie!” Jeff grinned. “That’s your song!!”

She nodded.

“Who’s tha’, love?”

“Jeff.” Harry made a noise to indicate that he had heard as they all quieted down to listen, a bright smile on her face.

When the song was over and she was discretely wiping at her eyes, the DJ came on. “That was Spike & Devil with Expectations. What a beauty of a song, amirite?”

Whoever was in the studio with the DJ sighed. “It is, that little sigh at the end? Like she’s relieved that she said it. So romantic. It just gets me.”

“Now that is the lone track on the band’s new album sung by the guitarist, Jamie Schwartz-”

“Wait Jamie Schwartz, like-”

“Yep.”

“So it’s about-”

“Yep.”

The guest chuckled. “I didn’t know she had that in her. Put that in your juice box and suck it, amirite? A great big romantic ‘[bleep] you’ to anyone who doubted her or doubted Harry Styles. I mean.. Sh[bleep].”

“I don’t think anyone thought she had that in her, but she’s really talented and the band sounds fantastic and the song is great. The entire album, Getting Older it’s called, is actually really good. It’s blown up on Spotify and the hashtags Spike&Devil, Expectations and Backroads are trending on social media. Speaking of, here’s the other song on the album that people are expecting: Spike & Devil- Backroads. This is KIIS-FM-”

She grinned. “Holy shit!” Matt’s voice was still playing on the speakers, softly.

I’m not defined by that backroad.

“I’m at th’studio, love. Which one are you in?”

“We’re in 205.” She set down the phone as he hung up with a muttered ‘See yeh in a mo’, love’ and drummed her hands on the armrests of the chair, all restless energy and high emotions. “Holy shit.”

Jeff held his hands up and she gave him a double hi-five. “Damn, girl! Good work!”

The door opened and she jumped out of the chair, throwing her arms around Harry’s neck. Laughing, he lifted her against him, arms secure around her waist.

“Baby, they’re playing our songs!!”

He grinned against her neck and squeezed her. “They sound so good, love, so good.” He kissed her cheek. “I’m so bloody proud of you!”

She leaned back and smiled, one hand coming up to wipe at her eyes. “Holy shit!”

Jeff looked over at the kid. “That’s what you were trying to get her to step out on, kid. Think about it. It ain’t gonna happen.”

“I’ve got another radio station wantin’ you to come in and do an interview about Expectations.”

She sighed, sipping her tea, her legs thrown over Harry’s lap. He eyed her over his cup. “Y’kay, love?”

She nodded and put the phone on speaker. “Just me?”

Jorge uh-huh’d.

“Tell them no. I’m part of a band. If they want to talk music, they need the whole band.”

“Okie dokie, mama. Can do. How’re you two holding up?”

She sat up and curled against Harry’s side. “Yeah, we’re fine. It was just starting to calm down a bit and all. Now with all of this… It just started back up again. Harry got mobbed the other day. Wanted to know if I’d told him that I was writing the song. As if I wouldn’t tell my own damn husband.” She scoffed. “Now apparently people think the song was meant as a subtle dig at Taylor Swift and that Harry’s angry with me for it.”

Harry rubbed a hand over her thigh and kissed her head.

“Yeah, that sucks. They know y’all are married yet?”

She laughed. “No strangely enough. There have been plenty of pictures of ‘Haz’s new ring’ and even a couple blurry one’s of mine, but no one has put two and two together quite yet.”

Harry huffed out a sarcastic laugh. “No they wouldn’t care about that, would they, love? Makes me boring, tha’.”

“I don’t think it makes you boring, baby.” She winked at him.

“They’d rather make shit up. We already knew that though. Okay, girl. I’ve got to get Esteban from school, he’s got that allergy test today.”

“Oh no bueno. Not fun at all. Poor kiddo.”

“Tell ‘im I hope he aces it.”

Jorge chuckled. “Not sure how to ace an allergy test…”

Harry laughed. “Yeah, well it’s a conundrum. Which answer’s right? I’ve gotta know!”

“I’ll ask the doctor and get back to ya, bro.” He chuckled and there was a sound like a car door opening. “Hey, m’hijo, you wanna say hi to Tia and Tio?”

“Hi Tio! Hey Titi, I think I’m gonna take orchestra next year.”

She smiled. “What instrument d’ya think you want to play, guapo?”

“Duh… guitar. Papi said that Abuelo has one of your old guitars, the one’s you used when you were little, can I use that instead of getting one from the school?”

“Yeah, course y’can. You’ll have to get your dad to take it by the shop and see if it needs new strings.”

Jorge’s voice sounded distant. “Will do.”

“Next time I’m in SA, I’ll teach you the basics.”

“Tio, can do it too, yeah?”

Harry grinned. “Yeah, I can help, for sure.”

“Okay, you two, I’m about to get on 1604 and it’s a madhouse as usual. I’ll talk to ya later.”

“Te amo.”

She set down the phone and laid her head on his shoulder. He adjusted the blanket to cover her better and leaned his cheek against her hair. “So, wha’ kind of guitar are we buying Esteban for Christmas?”

She smiled. “I was just thinking about that. We want somethin’ nice but not too nice, right? It’s gonna get beat to shit no matter what.”

Nodding, Harry rubbed his hand over her thigh under the blanket. “Should we get a full-size, y’think?”

“Yeah. The way that kid grows he’ll outgrow my old child guitar by then.”

Harry sipped at his coffee. “What’s botherin’ yeh, love?”

She smiled against his shoulder. “I’m just frustrated with all this media crap. I didn’t think they pull this shit- honestly, I never even thought they’d have a reason to pull this shit, we didn’t send the album to mainstream radio ‘cause we didn’t think they’d be interested and now I wish they hadn’t gotten their hands on it.”

She huffed. “Now they’ve made what I thought was a really clear, and really bloody personal song into a go at a woman I’ve got nothing against or an industry that I hate admittedly, but I didn’t write a song for them, I wrote it for my family.” She sat up and crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s just really frustratin’.”

He nodded and leaned over to kiss her. “I figured it was that.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and curled back into his lap. “Now there are all these trash journalists askin’ for interviews like I’m gonna sit there and let them drag us, the band, the song through the mud. Like I’m expected sit and be pretty and just stew in this catch-22. I can’t deny because I look guilty and I won’t confirm because it’s not true. I can’t win.”

He smiled softly down at her. “Do you regret writing it?”

“No, of course, not.” She shook her head against his shoulder. “I needed for you to hear it, I wanted you to hear it. I just regret puttin’ it on the album… sometimes. I regret this shit-storm. I should’ve just kept it for us or somethin’.”

“But the song is puttin’ yeh on the map, love. People are listenin’ and you and the band deserve to be heard.” He kissed her hair. “I think yer gonna be on Grammy watch, if yeh ask me. The critics have received it well.”

She snorted. “That’s silly-”

“It’s a beautiful song, love.” Harry shrugged. “Yeh know yer allowed to be successful, right, monster? Yer allowed to do good work.”

“Am I though? I know you think so, but no matter what I do, what I accomplish there’s always going to be someone sayin’ that-”

“It was me who did it” He paused and shrugged. “Yer right, but doesn’t mean that yeh shouldn’t do it. Every time Liam, Lou or Niall or me ever did anythin’, there was someone bringin’ up Simon.”

“I just don’t want to…” She paused and sat back so she could look at his face. “I love you, with everything I am, I love you. I don’t like the idea that there’s someone out there who still thinks that I’m only with you for a leg up. I don’t like feelin’ like we have to constantly defend, to constantly have to validate our relationship.”

He smiled. “I know tha’, love. I know tha’ yeh love me and I love yeh the same way. Yeh don’t have to validate anythin’. We don’t owe them anythin’. I know tha’ yer the woman I will be with until I’m old and gray or I wouldn’t ‘ave married yeh. I know tha’ yer th’future mother of my children or I wouldn’t ‘ave married yeh.”

He kissed her. “However, yeh ‘ave th’right to be successful and yeh ‘ave the right t’do wha’ yeh love and live yer life th’way yeh want. I am gonna be right there with yeh for every bit of it.”

Jamie leaned in for a kiss. “So what should I do? How should I handle this?”

“Well, let’s get yeh some place where you can be honest and get this out there.”

“Tonight we have Spike & Devil with us. They are the indie band out of Nashville that is taking radio by storm. They’re going to play us their two new hit songs and we’re going to talk about their album Getting Older, specifically why they named the album Getting Older,” James snickered, “considering they are all under the age of thirty, and I may yet convince them to participate in a round of Flinch.” James winked at the camera and grinned.

The camera panned in on Jamie’s face as she shook her head frantically and mouthed ‘help me,’ standing behind her guitar.

Backstage, headphones on, Harry snickered into his fist.

“But first, Spike & Devil playing Backroads.”

This was Matt’s magnus opus, a song Jamie had told Harry he’d spent years on. It straddled a line between rock and country and it showed off four very talented musicians to the best of their ability.

No one who watched Spike & Devil perform Backroads could doubt the legitimacy of their talent.

Jamie loved the song and Harry loved watching her play it, enjoying every bounce and the way she leaned over the guitar, bracing it against the inside of her thigh (where he was fairly certain he’d left a hickey this morning) so she could keep the guitar steady for the complicated guitar solo.

She was ridiculously beautiful behind a guitar, doing what she loved. She was ridiculously beautiful wearing the rings he put on her finger, doing what she loved.

The song ended and James called them over to the couch. Offering the others coffee, he grinned down at Jamie.

“So I made you tea, dear, because I know you don’t drink coffee.”

She smiled. “Thanks, James.”

James and took his seat. “So in the interest of journalistic integrity, though I’m not sure I apply necessarily, I know Jamie personally. She and her special someone have had dinner with my wife and I a number of times. In fact Dante has also had dinner at my home. Nice to see you again, Dante.”

Dante grinned. “Nice to see you too.”

“Lets just do a quick introduction.” James motioned to Matt who sat on the far side of the couch.

Matt smiled and Harry grinned, he could practically hear every person in the audience and on the crew attracted to men melt. He was Classic™; blonde, blue-eyed with a jaw like an anvil. “I’m Matt Reeve-” He paused. “What else should I say?”

James shrugged and Matt looked hilariously panicked. “I’m from Knoxville, Tennessee… I’m 27.” He shrugged awkwardly.

“He’s single, ladies.” Jamie leaned forward to pick up her tea with her left hand and cradling it against her chest, the rings on her finger was more apparent to the audience members with seats at the front.

Dante huffed. “Jamie…”

She shrugged and sipped her tea. “Gotta help my sisters out, yeah?”

The women in crowd cheered.

Tommy, tall, dark, handsome and earnest, chuckled. “Tommy Lazert, I’m from Louisville, Kentucky. I’m 25.”

“Also single.”

Tommy grinned. “Am I?”

She sipped her tea and considered him for a moment. “Yes. I fairly positive.”

“You don’t know though.”

“Fair enough. He may or may not be single, ladies.” She shrugged. “It’s a mystery! Adds to the fun.”

Dante, who always managed to balance hipster and relevant, hat sat on top of his afro and big thick, frame glasses sat on his absurdly perfect nose, shook his head. “You’re ridiculous. I’m Dante Schwartz. I’m from San Antonio. I’m 24. I’m her brother… yes. Her brother. We were both adopted.” He grinned down at Jamie’s head. “I’m single, to spare her the trouble.”

“And Jamie you?” James grinned.

“Me? I’m decidedly not single.”

The crowd cheered, the word of the rings having passed from those in front.

Harry grinned, proud of this tiny woman he got to call his.

“Introduce yourself, Jamie. To be fair.”

Jamie smiled coyly against the rim of her cup. “You know my name, I’m also 24 and I’m also from San Antonio.”

James grinned. “Come now… Don’t be shy. You know, maybe not everyone in the crowd knows your name.”

“Here’s hoping.”

Laughing, James sipped his coffee. “You never know though… Does it feel like everyone knows everything about you?”

“Not all the time no. I think we managed to keep some things to ourselves longer than expected.” The rings on her finger glinted as if on cue and she arched an eyebrow. “However, I was in a store the other day and someone I’d never met before asked me if I liked the pasta I bought last week-”

“Maybe they saw-”

“That I bought last week at a completely different store half-way across LA.”

The crowd laughed.

“What did you do?”

She shrugged. “I mean I wasn’t angry or anythin’, just a bit caught off guard. It’s awkward. I think I stuttered out that my husband liked it more than I did… something like that.”

The crowd lost its collective shit.

James grinned. “And what was your name again?”

The blush on her face told Harry that she hadn’t really meant to say that. Regardless, he didn’t really think he’d ever get over hearing her call him that.

In for a penny, I guess.

“Technically my stage name is Jamie Schwartz.”

James rolled his eyes. “But when you, say, sign for a package at the post office, what do you sign?”

“I still sign ‘Jamie Schwartz’ by accident… and then I have to cross out ‘Schwartz’ and scrawl ‘Styles’ above it. All the while, Harry’s laughing at me and telling me my handwriting makes him look like he married a child.”

“That’s specific.”

“It happened this morning.” She shrugged and sipped her tea.

Part XII Up Next: An Interlude

#harry styles #harry styles/reader #harry styles/oc #harry styles fanfiction

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auxgod · 5 years

Text

San Diego Artist To Watch 2019

In the past, it usually took a year or two for an artist to really find their groove and reach their audience. One or two early singles would lead to initial buzz, but that breakthrough moment took time. Not anymore.

This list is by no means an attempt to name all of 2019's potential breakthrough acts. There are plenty of other artists who could have been included, but these are some of my favorites that should be on your radar.

Sethii Shmactt-

By the time this list comes out The MOB x CG rising star might be in the studio making another blap! Sethii Shmactt has continued to prove he’s one of the popular faces in San Diego and with the success he’s beeing receiving since the release of “Strip Talk” Sethii is definitely a name i’d remember.

YHG Pnut-

Figuring out who you are as a young artist isn’t an easy task but Kosher Life’s YHG Pnut had no trouble with this at all. When i first came across his music he had only been making music for 3 months prior and since then he has become one of the most popular names in San Diego. Receiving a lot of love from the youth by popping out at various schools around the city, Pnut looks to keep momentum going with the release of his upcoming debut he’s finishing up.

Ghost Dad-

Since announcing “Break Bread” was available on all streaming services, many began to ask when we’d be blessed with more music from the 4th FL front man Ghost Dad. Well it appears the way is over as the San Diego rapper decided to gift us with the official cover and release date to follow up and with the lyricism and wordplay that Ghost Dad embodies, it’s easy to say this may be one of the most well rounded projects in 2019.

Axelle Goldie-

Now that the buzz around so-called "alternative" R&B is fading out, artists are finding ways to push the genre forward in more subtle ways and Cairo Egypt’s Axelle Goldie personifies this. Being a triple threat as an Artist, Graphic Designer and Event planner, the San Diego songstress has been teasing us with her highly anticipated project “Cigarettes & Stolen Whisky” and it looks like in 2019 we will finally receive it. No word on the official release date or track list but with tracks like “Never Let Me Go” & “Blue Monday” we can expect the shit to be fire!

O’Way-

By the time O’Way released his video for “Gettin Shifty”, he was already one of the most buzzed about new artists in the music industry. Despite being incarcerated, the San Diego rapper is full of Izm and incredible 1 liners that you could use in almost any situation. Expect Plu$ Tax to be the new Death Row is O’Way continues to have an incredible 2019.

Sebby OG-

The whole entire Suav City collective continue to each play their part whether it be dropping singles or cinematic visuals. Next up to bat is Sebby OG and 2019 seems to be the year we will finally receive his long awaited debut “Jimmy Panthers” Sebby has an all around fun style which you can hear on songs like “Hundred Dollar Feels” and a whole solo project from him would be exactly what his fans have been waiting for.

DBRVSS-

Ever since he released his ep “3.0″ in 2018, Dbrvss has been one of my favorite artist in San Diego and if you’re still sleeping on him you gotta wake the fuck up. Having a great ear for production and word play that’ll motivate you to get some money, Dbrvss is expected to be releasing something new very soon and im sure he will be on everyones radar by summer 2019.

Sir Karri-

Sir Karri came out of no where with his ep “I Felt A Way” for all his YUNOS and got everyone anticipating an album release. With him working on visuals along with running his own podcast to shed light on local talent and creatives doing their part, Karri has placed himself in the driver seat and now it’s just a waiting game on when he decides to drop the official project.

Kalia-

Kalia songs are honest and relatable whether she's rapping about worrying about others or nascent relationships, she delivers verses in a refreshingly straightforward way, and her presence on instagram is great too with her #KaliaTakeOverTuesdaze . It's still early days, but Kalia's emergence feels like the start of something very special.

ServvvOne-

ServvvOne might be the youngest on this list but do not let that mistake you. The artist/producer has been making waves since 2017 and it looks like it’s finally leading him in the right direction. His soundcloud is full of unlimited waves and his beats alone are crafted in a way where his sound has become a trademark. Lets hope we get another body of work from Servvv in 2019.

Lil Gino-

Artist like Lil Gino can be so versatile that it’s hard to put them in just one category. Hearing his track “Tainted” late last year put him in a different class with vivid imagery and punchlines, it’s fun to imagine what a full length project would sound by the San Diego rapper. Lets hope Gino blesses the streets with an album

Saucalini-

Saucalini easily my favorite San Diego artist and has continued to prove time and time again he’s a star in the making. Many saw signs of this on “Stone Cold Pilots” with Sebby OG but after releasing “Mardi Gras” and “Bluer Pools” a full length Saucalini mixtape is what the streets need

BLEACH-

The minutes I heard his name i knew bruh was dope and i was 100% right. Songs like “Fee” give you the perfect introduction of what to expect from the San Diego rapper. Whether its his gritty vocal tone or his punchlines, Bleach is a name that you should expect to see more of in the music scene in 2019.

DRECAT-

San Diego’s DreCat is one of the most underrated acts and if you haven’t heard “Made In Daygo” you should prolly go listen DreCat displays his versatility and lyrical structure on every song he’s apart of and one rapper who’s all about the bars, no gimmicks! After being nominated for having one of the best albums of 2018, lets hope we’re fortunate enough to get another full length project.

Gang$ta L-

Gang$ta L seemed to be on a hiatus after releasing his “Port Tape” a few years back but apparently that wasn’t the case. In 2018 he emerged and came back with his “Showtime” ep to let others know he’s back on his bullshit. Now with a steady growing fan base and a signature vocal tone, lets see what Logan has mapped out for the rest of 2019.

Khofa | #AuxGod

Khofa is a known name in San Diego and whether it be for actual music, setting up events or selling merch, he’s someone always staying busy. After releasing a few singles in 2018, Khofa has decided to give us his long awaited project titled “Fatherless” and after speaking with him about the project, it won’t be like your typical album. There’s a story and message around the project I believe everyone will enjoy once it’s released.

MemoTheMafioso-

MemoTheMafioso is someone i would not be sleeping on because he is a problem! The San Diego rapper creates music that make you wanna chase a bag and stay the fuck out the way and with him gaining hundreds of streams and views by the day, The ball is in his court on when he decides to give his fans an ep in 2019.

ObnoxiousAssYabbie | #AuxGod

Yabbie is one artist i can say I have never heard anyone sound like before but many have mimicked after. The SEM Gang front man has created his own lingo and delivery making it fun to be a fan because with every release, you learn a bit more of the lingo and appreciate the work ethic that much more. Yabbie has been going stoopid with the visuals so lets anticipate an album is in the works.

Q.Hype-

Since dropping his Cranium Curse project in 2017, Q.Hype has been on a tear releasing singles and visuals making sure he’s one of the artist you name when talking about consistency. Q.Hype marches to the beat of his own drum so don’t expect his music to sound like your ordinary radio hit. He does just about everything and looks to capitalize off that in 2019.

Kevin Watts-

Kevin Watts is on a mission to release one song per for the entire year and with already being on week 14, people are paying attention. Many are waiting to see what happens when he reaches his final week and if a project will follow but regardless, the journey is whats making people gravitate to the rappers content in 2019.

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meenasmoon · 7 years

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Johnny x meena playing just dance! !! And maybe the theater family too

That’s right everyone I’m back!! I may still sound like i’ve been chain smoking for twenty years but I can’t hold back these asks anymore. Please enjoy my first attempt at recovering from sick brain.

Fancy Feet

“I can’t believe that you let him bring Just Dance.” Ash grumbled as shewatched Gunther happily insert the game disc into Johnny’s game system.

“Wot was I supposed ter do? Tell ‘im nah? It’s just a game.” Ash crossedher arms over her chest and sunk back into the couch cushions, all the whilepinning Johnny with a glare, “Besides… it might be fun.”

“How?” Ash growled out and Johnny looked around the room as if theanswer was hiding among their friends.

“Well it could be pretty funny to watch everyone make a fool ofthemselves.” He shrugged and Ash perked up slightly.

“You know what Pretty Boy? I think you’re on to something.” She smirkedand got out her phone with the intention of taking videos of their little gettogether. Once they had completely unpacked and decorated their new apartmentthe two new roommates had decided to invite their theatre family over for alittle get together, something to christen the apartment. What had resulted wasMeena and Rosita bringing way too much food, Buster and Eddie devouring most ofthe food, Ms. Crawley falling asleep, and Gunther insisting that they playhis favorite game, Just Dance.

The game system powered up and the remote was handed over to Buster whobegan scrolling through the song selections to find their first dance.Eventually he landed on a four-person dance routine to the song “I Was Made forLoving You” by HISS. Buster then turned around and began selecting his victims;otherwise know as the three other people that would be dancing with him in thefirst round.

To Ash’s frustration she was the first one that he chose. But herannoyance was tempered by his next choice: Johnny. If she was going to beforced to humiliate herself by playing this game her roommate would have tosuffer too. The final victim was Eddie who just shrugged and launched himselfoff of the couch.

The characters that they were supposed to be following appeared onscreen and they quickly switched positions so that everyone could be in frontof the character that they chose. Ash was the guitarist, Johnny was bassist,and Buster and Eddie were squabbling over who had to be the female drummer.Buster won out but Eddie’s excitement about playing had definitely gone down afew notches. Grudgingly he started off their son by imitating the femalecharacter as she pretended to clack drumsticks over her head.

Johnny was immediately thrown into the mix as the deep bass rhythmpounded out of the speaker system. He even threw his head a little bit, hisspiky hair flying all over the place. While he was jamming the screen promptedAsh to join the mix. Offbeat, and unenthusiastically she moved one hand in thesame way as her character on screen.

“ ‘Ey Ash.” Johnny called over to her when he saw her low level ofenthusiasm, “Lowest score ‘as ter do aw of the dishes for a monf.”

Suddenly Ash’s energy level changed and instead of just getting averagepoints she joined Johnny at the ‘Excellent’ level. Johnny smirked and went backto watching the screen, content that he had influenced his friend to at leasttry and have a good time.

The vocals began and Buster jumped in as the lead singer. At that pointthey were all getting into the groove of the move that their particularcharacter was doing, just in time for the game to change it up on them. Theyall stumbled slightly as they jumped from various moves to one simultaneous motion,which resembled some odd form of skipping. Behind them Meena, Rosita, andGunther were trying desperately to conceal their laughter as they watched theirfriends fumble around in some attempt to find synchronicity. Just when they gotclose enough to look less like flailing fish the moves changed again and theywere thrown out of their groove.

This trend continued throughout the beginning of the song as theycycled between their individual moves and their group moves. At one pointJohnny’s character and Eddie’s character switched places while still dancing,which caused Eddie to fall flat on his face and Johnny to miss a couple ofmoves as he helped him up. Of course they switched back to their originalpositions just as quickly. This time Johnny squatted down as he moved in frontso that Eddie could see better. Meena thought he looked a lot like a large crabplaying guitar, and that thought sent her into another round of giggles.

Buster was actually doing pretty well as the lead singer, dramaticallyfollowing every single move that appeared on screen. They went through anotherround of group moves in a jumbled kind of synchronicity, with Johnnyand Eddie switching multiple times before things got interesting again. Thistime Buster and Ash had to switch along with them but Ash refused to movefrom her spot so Buster was forced to rotate around her like a moon rotating arounda planet.

When that was over Buster jumped out in front for the vocal solo. Heeven slid to his knees as he dramatically waved his arms around and theyall did the golden move. Only Buster and Eddie got the points for doingthe move, much to the hosts’ annoyance. Johnny pouted but kept dancing and Ashbegan yelling at the TV in frustration.

Eddie got a drum solo but has was a full second behind his character sohe got no points and ended up spinning right into Johnny as he tried to starthis bass solo in time with the song. The two ended up in a tangled mess oflimbs on the ground as they struggled to right themselves. Johnny got up justin time to complete some of his guitar solo before it was over. He stood andwatched Ash do her solo, still pouring, but now he was rubbing his aching armas well.

Ash nailed her quick little solo, even going far enough to slide ontoher knees and throw her head around. She stuck her tongue out at Johnny whenher point values went way up as a result. As they moved on to group movesJohnny danced and glared at Ash while she danced and smirked at him.

They did a few new moves which involved them clapping but by now theywere so off as a group it was useless. The last part of the song was freestyleand Rosita ended up bright red as she tried to hold back the loud laughter thatwanted so desperately to escape. “Free styling” apparently meant flailinghelplessly and head banging. Meena had her face buried in a pillow,laughing hysterically into its surface as she watched her boyfriend flailhelplessly on their impromptu dance floor.

Once the song had faded out and the scores were displayed on the screenthey stopped dancing to see who had won the round. Johnny took one look at thescores and hung his head in despair. Ash’s score had been pushed over the topby her solo move, just barely giving her enough points to beat Johnny’s. Ashcheered and strutted back to her spot on the couch with a smug grin plasteredin on her face while Johnny trudged back over to Meena and cuddled up to her.She put the pillow she had been laughing into down on her lap and Johnnyimmediately laid his head down on it. Meena giggled and began gently strokinghis soft hair.

“Aw man. Na I ‘ave ter do the dishes for a whole monf.” He groaned intothe pillow and Meena smirked playfully.

“Maybe it’ll do you some good. Most of those dishes are yours afterall.” Johnny just groaned in response and kept pouting as Gunther stepped up tochoose his song. Next to Rosita Ash was bragging loudly about her victory andall of the free time that she suddenly had on her hands because Johnny wasgoing to be doing all of the dishes. This just made Johnny groan once more andbury his head further in the pillow. Meena rolled her eyes at the childishantics of her friends and ran her hands through Johnny’s hair gently. Shepuzzled over some way to cheer Johnny up as Gunther looked through theexpansive library of songs. She was struck with an idea and despite the anxietythat rose up in her chest at thought; she decided to try it out.

“Howabout you and I dance in the next round?” She leaned down andwhispered in his ear. She felt Johnny perk up slightly and he quickly sat up sothat he could look her in the eye.

“Yeah?” His eyes were shining with such excitement that Meena was ableto muster up the courage to nod her assent. Johnny immediately grinned and satup, not even registering Ash’s taunting insults anymore. In the same moment Guntherchose his song and struck his starting position. Johnny arched one eyebrow andsmirked. He now knew from experience that this game was harder than it looked,and even though Gunther was a great dancer Johnny was pretty sure that he wouldmess up at least once. After all, “Pump It” by the Black Eyed Geese was one ofthe hardest songs on the game.

But as the music started their portly friend moved perfectly alongwith the figure onscreen, matching every move with unbelievable precision. Theentire theatre family sat there staring at Gunther in amazement, their mouthsopen in amazement. As the song continued on the moves got more complicated andinvolved, but Gunther didn’t even make a sense.

About halfway through the song they all snapped out of their daze andbegan cheering their friend on as he landed a perfect on every move thatscrolled across the screen. At times Johnny was convinced that Gunther wasdancing better than the model that he was supposed to follow. He looked like hewas born to dance to this song.

Gunther sped up along with the beat of the music as he reached theclimax of the song, still hitting every move with absolute perfection. Thepoint meter was moving up so quickly that they could barely keep track of hisscore, but he had definitely passed Ash’s high score.

Then suddenly the song was over and Gunther had gotten a perfect score. Unfortunatelyhe didn’t even seem to register that the music had stopped and continued todance vigorously, humming his own beat to himself. Confused, Johnny looked atthe others but only saw his confusion reflected in their expressions.After a few minutes Gunther was still dancing with the same level of energy asbefore and Johnny was getting a bit impatient to have his dance with Meena. Itwas rare that she decided to make a fool of herself like this game required,especially in front of people. He could tell that with every moment that theywaited Meena was growing continuously nervous and unwilling. He gestured forRosita to fetch Gunther and she sighed in response but got up anyway to stopher partner.

All she had to do was place a gentle hand on his bouncing shoulder andGunther was pulled from his daze as if he had been woken with a bucket of coldwater.

“Oh Rozita!” He seemed surprised to see her but smiled nonetheless, “DidI sone out?” Rosita giggled and led him back to the couch, siting him down nextto Buster.

“We just thought that someone else might want to go. You did wonderfullythough.” She quickly reassured him but Gunther’s smile didn’t fade for even a millisecond.

Meanwhile Johnny stood up and began selecting a song for him and Meenato do together while she nervously fiddled with her jacket. Eventually shedecided to shed it just in case the song was as involved as the previous ones.She took it off to reveal her Roaring Stones shirt underneath and went back tonervously glancing at the screen, praying that her boyfriend would choosesomething easy.

The beginning of the song came onscreen and Meena stumbled over herselfas she got into the same position as her model with her hand on dramaticallyresting on her forehead and her hip popped out sassily. Since Meena had neverbeen overly sassy she looked kind of awkward in her position the first time.She glanced at Johnny as he got into his position reaching towards her. Johnnysmiled charmingly up at her and winked encouragingly. The name of the song wasCrazy Little Thing Called Love by Preen.

Then the music began and her model smoothly slid into the movementsunlike Meena who was trying desperately to emulate her every move. Johnny wasdancing along beside her as their hands and bodies swung simultaneously, or notso simultaneously because Meena kept faltering and losing her rhythm.

When their first golden move came around Meena was still trying to catchup with the previous movements and missed it completely. Johnny, who had by nowfound his groove and was doing fairly well looked over at her and encouragedher in a voice that was only loud enough for her to hear.

“Relax love. Ya daan’t ‘ave ter be perfect. Let the music move ya.” Hesaid and Meena nodded nervously, her worried look slowly smoothing out as shefocused her attention back on the screen and took a couple of deep breaths.Their next move was the same one they started out with so she was familiar withit, and found herself starting to score better. This boosted her confidence andher smile slowly replaced the worried frown that had previously dominated herpretty features.

By the time their next golden move came along she was grinning andscoring really well on the dance moves. This time she fell into the dramaticposition easily, almost stopping Johnny in his tracks when he saw the pure joyon her face. He missed the next move as he recovered from his surprise but hewas unfazed and quickly got back into the swing of things, inconspicuouslywatching Meena in amazement from the side of his gaze.

She kicked her feet happily and waved her arms in great time for herfirst time playing the game, all the while the smile never feel from her face,on occasion it even turned into a laugh.

When their characters bounced together and bumped into each other sheeven managed to do that rather gently instead of bumping Johnny onto his buttas he was expecting.

It was at that moment that Johnny’s attention turned completely towardsher as he half-heartedly danced along with his model. She was having so muchfun that the mood was infectious and their theatre family began clapping alongto the beat. When Meena’s attention turned to him he quickly followed hismodel’s example and vigorously played guitar, getting down on his knees as sheblew kisses at him. Even though they were just imaginary, every one hit hisheart with an extra hard beat.

When their characters began clapping along to the beat as well, Meenaglanced back at their clapping audience and nailed them with her sparklinggrin. Johnny was immediately struck breathless and as a result fell out of timewith the clapping. Everyone noticed the dreamy look he was giving her, exceptMeena of course, but no one made a comment.

As the song came to an end their characters kept dancing and evenswitched places which threw Johnny for a loop but Meena seemed unaffected,moving in front of him and dancing just as well as when she was standing still.They switched one more time and then stood back to back as the music faded out,still moving to the beat.

When the song was completely over their family cheered loudly for themand they waited for their scores to appear. When they showed up on the screenMeena frowned and looked over at Johnny with concern.

“Why is yours so low?” She asked and Johnny immediately turned brightpink in embarrassment. Obviously she hadn’t noticed him staring at her as shedanced.

“He was distracted by you Fancy Feet!” Ash called out and everyone brokeout into laughter that only made Johnny turn redder. Meena blushed as well andleaned forward to bestow a sweet kiss on his cheek. As they returned to theirseat Johnny mused to himself.

Maybe Just Dance wasn’t so bad after all.

#sing the movie #johnny sing #meena sing #meena x johnny #just dance #send me prompts #fancy feet

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impalawanderlust · 7 years

Text

12x18 Wincest Tag

question about the lore research you were talking about

That’s the subject line of the most recent email in Sam’s inbox. It’s from Dean, which would be weird enough on its own, but the fact that he’s asking a question about some research that Sam read weeks ago, that had nothing to do with a case, well...

He didn’t actually think Dean listened to him when he talked about stuff like that. It doesn’t bother him. Really--he knows he can get annoying when he’s excited about statistics or whatever. Particularly when Dean’s always been more interested in the bottom line than in the cause-and-effect that led to it.

Still, it warms the part of his heart that still needs his big brother to validate him. He types out a quick answer, a tiny smile on his face when Dean shuffles in still half-asleep, hair sticking up in every direction as he clutches his coffee mug--only seconds after Sam clicks send.

This is not a case IMO, Dean emails two days later.

It takes Sam a second to get past the shock of his technophobic brother using chat speak, but when he does, he opens the email and reads rest of the message:

but I thought it might be interesting to u. gotta love that true crime, huh Sammy?

ps have u watched that people vs OJ thing yet? looks right up ur alley.

There’s that tiny, pleased feeling again, but now it’s sharing space with no small amount of confusion. Dean’s going out of his way to acknowledge Sam’s interests, but only in emails. They spend almost every waking moment together; is emailing really necessary? Is something wrong? Their relationship is in a pretty good place right now, so unless Dean’s buttering him up before revealing some horrible secret, Sam is flummoxed.

“Your relationship,” jeers the voice in the back of his head that always manages to sound like Lucifer. “How good can it be when you’re the one keeping a horrible, twenty year-old secret?”

Sam pushes the thought away and types a quick thank-you for the link. He’s closed out of his email inbox and is surfing a monster-sighting blog by the time Dean gets back from the grocery store. His green eyes shine as he crows about homemade hamburgers and fries, so Sam gets up from the computer to help him and resolves to put the whole email thing out of his mind.

click this link?

Sam stares at the new email that’s just popped up in his inbox, incredulous. It’s been over a week since the last email from Dean (not counting the youtube video of a hot dog eating contest gone terribly wrong). Sam thought that it was over.

Stranger still, Dean is sitting directly across the table from him looking, for all intents and purposes, totally engrossed in his Words with Friends game. Sam stares at him for a long second, but Dean just hunches his shoulders and keeps tapping away at the screen.

With a put-upon sigh and no small amount of trepidation, Sam clicks on the link. It redirects him to youtube and he braces himself for another vomit video, or, if he’s slightly luckier, a rickroll.

It’s neither of those things. It’s Pearl Jam covering Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters, and even though the picture quality is questionable, the audio bursts from Sam’s laptop speakers, making them both jump.

Sam hits the mute button as quickly as he can, ears burning. When he chances a glance at his brother, Dean isn’t looking much better. There’s a dull red flush creeping up his neck and he’s staring at his phone, fingers frozen.

“Uhh, thanks?” Sam ventures. He’s not exactly sure what the protocol is, but he’s pretty sure that he can’t pretend that he wasn’t just reading Dean’s email.

Dean shrugs, grunts. “Know you like Pearl Jam.” he mumbles, still not looking up from his phone. “If you’re gonna listen to pansy-ass alternative music, ‘least it’s a damn good song.”

Sam thinks about telling him he’s always thought of the lyrics as being about the two of them. He thinks about saying that Dean’s the only person he’s ever really trusted. The only person he’s ever loved so completely.

He doesn’t say anything. He never does. The urge always passes after a few moments.

The night they carve their initials on the bunker table, Sam goes to bed early. He was already emotionally raw from nearly losing his brother during the hunt, and then Dean had pulled out his knife and started talking about their legacies.

Sam won’t have a legacy, and it’s probably better that way. He’s done too much bad to have it outweighed by the good.

His phone chimes, heralding a new message, and Sam throws a glance at the notification. An email.

From Dean.

The subject line says legacy and Sam has to smile at how, even after all these years, they still manage to be in sync.

Sammy u have saved a lot of people. u saved the whole world. u deserve to be remembered forever.

Sam blinks away the tears that are suddenly pricking at his eyes. He’s stunned.

Didn’t know you felt that way.

Dean’s answer comes so quickly he can’t be doing anything other than staring at his inbox.

i know. startin to realize u dont know a lot of what i feel.

my fault. im not very good at talking about it Sammy.

Sam’s fingers tremble as he writes back.

I wish you’d trust me.

Dean’s reply is puzzling.

u might not like what u hear

Frowning, Sam runs his thumb over the screen. There’s plenty that Dean could say that he wouldn’t like to hear. That he’s a failure, a fuck-up. That Dean still thinks he’s a monster that should be put down. Somehow, though, Sam knows that’s not what this is. This feels like something that should’ve happened a long time ago. Something that could clear away all the years of misunderstandings between them. But if he’s wrong, it could ruin everything. Sam’s heart pounds as he taps out a rejoinder.

Try me.

He waits for a few long moments, but Dean doesn’t email back. Disappointment starts to creep in, like a pit forming in his stomach. He pushed too hard, he’s always pushing too hard...

There’s a single, sharp knock at the door and Sam bolts to his feet. He takes two long strides over and wrenches it open. He barely gets a look at Dean’s expression, hope and fear warring in his eyes, before his brother shoulders his way in and grabs Sam by the front of his nightshirt.

“Sammy, I--I...” he falters, fists tightening in the front of Sam’s shirt as his bravado deserts him.

Sam reaches up and puts his hands over his brother’s. “Dean. Trust me. Please just let me in.”

Dean opens his mouth to speak again, but still nothing comes out. Before Sam can do anything else, he makes a frustrated noise and drags him down to his level, crushing their mouths together.

Sam gasps and Dean takes the opportunity to press deeper, saying with his lips, and teeth, and tongue all the things he can’t manage to give voice to.

I trust you implicitly. I’m sorry for the times I didn’t. I believe in you. I love you. Sam hears it all in the frantic drum of his brother’s heartbeat. He feels it in Dean’s calloused fingers at the back of his neck. He tastes it in the candy-coffee-Dean of this kiss.

And he knows that Dean doesn’t verbalize his feelings very well, knows that he has to respond in a way that his brother can understand. So he wraps his arms around Dean’s waist and kisses back, putting a lifetime of devotion into it.

I want to give you everything. I’ll always look up to you. I��ve never loved anyone else so completely.

Dean smiles against his mouth and Sam knows he heard the message loud and clear.

#supernatural #fanfiction #wincest #season 12 #spn 12x18 #flash fiction #what even happened here holy shit #crossposted to ao3 cos it got way longer than I anticipated #no beta

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reviewkpop · 4 years

Text

UNLOCK by DAY6

tl;dr, I don’t remember where I was when this first came out because I was on a break from kpop social media but, however, I do remember where I was when I first listened to I Just (the only song to ever exist), as it was an extremely transformative experience for me. This is such a well-rounded, clear, diverse album that keeps Day6′s usual style while adding extra juicy elements for the more hard-rock inspired Japanese market.

Vara’s rating: ✭✭✭✭✭

without further ado here’s why I love ever single song on this album, written like ive been imprisoned inside stan twitter for 5 years and can’t get out unless i review this album

Live Your Life: day6 japanese songs hit differently they really do. this one is an a1 prime rib example. the rolling drum (?) woosh sound right before the chorus is so sos os nice and all of the parts of this song are different feeling but still fit together completely seamlessly as expected. LISTEN, HOW THEY HAVE A GUITAR SOLO? WITH THE WOAHHHs at EVERY chorus. jae’s guitar is the backbone of this album and our society as you will read about further on if you ever get to my review of i just…….. and this song is NO different. also the lyrics are so pure. thank u kings of confidence. i gotta also talk about the outro to this song its so fucking beautiful. all the voices singing together is such a chef kiss mwah

Breaking Down: ive seen a lot of ppl (more than i expected?) cite this song as their fave day6 song and i mean valid. its day6’s harder rock side.. its reminds me a lot of how can i say and its very very good if thats your thing. also everytime mr k does the IM BREAKING DOWWN live its . very lovely thank you. its so so angsty i can feel the angst for miles with this one. when jae says “hearts never break the same” mkmfdnjgajk. yeah. this is one of the songs where u think its over but it ISNT!!!!!!! the guitar muting in the bridge fake outro whatever is so delicious i am a sucker for a good guitar muting rhythm technique can someone pls tell me what thats called im illiterate anyways it STARTS UP AGAIN the hecking guitar solo….. ladies and gentlemen…..

Stop the Rain: instrumental wise, this is a really really fun song… the scale up and down or whatever it is with synth + guitar in the verses and at the end of the chorus… very spicy indeed. i honestly think wonpil is the star of the show in this one bc its a really not aggressive but beat heavy?? song and wonpils softer voice really contrasts it nicely i think. i also love love LOVe the second verse with the minimal instrumental (of course i do) and then it goes into guitar solo mode.. i feel liek this album more than any other day6 album goes the hardest with the guitar solos thank you jae. also this song has wooaahs. guitar solo ✅, instrumental space ✅, woaaaahs ✅ but theres no guitar muting we’re almost there..

Say Hello: this song makes me smile. the punchy guitars, bubbly drums, wait actually the first time wonpil says “my girl” i teared up a little ouch…….. :((((((((((((((( so cute…. the bright lil woo ooooh ooohs in the chorus SO cute… its such a dreamy song and the lyrics are so nostalgic feeling its such a sweet song in general its abt like letting go but finding peace with it and wishing the other person well and its a really beautiful meaning. omg its like the opposite to hi hello njsdfdnkj theory?????

Everybody Rock: we are now in the ROCK zone everybody now . now COME ON keep it going now !!!!!!! 1 2 3 go!!!!! i absolutely adore the way the guitars fade out in the verses when the vocal lines start and its just a lil bass a lil drum. if theres one thing i love more than guitar muting its silence in music.. it really really makes songs great when theres some space left over i truly believe that. anyways this song has both thank u kings. jae’s prechorus with differnet members joining in is so nice as it gradually builds up more and more. extra important detail all the lives i can find of this they look like theyre having so much fun. also dowoon….. i truly believe i can be a rockstar bc of him. im in tears. the ending just lets it all sink in the extra 8 bars or whatever of extra instrumental very very nice addition thank you

I Just: i am truly sorry in advance for this im not gonna stop talking. musically,, this song is pretty simple (except for the guitar in the chorus, i’ll get there) but tonally, vibe-wise, on the feel good scale, this song is a 35 million absolutely fucking fantastic song. i love this song perhaps a little too much. i would like to speak briefly on jae’s guitar fill. if i could name my firstborn child after a sound byte it would be that one and you all know it very well. if i ever meet jae im gonna personally thank him for this and ask if i can get his guitar’s autograph. the fact the guitar gets louder in the last chorus with the vocals overtop of it too yum.. this song makes me miss a lover i nevr had or something but also feel like im falling in love and rolling down a grassy hill and staring into a sunset at the same time its like every single possible positive emotion for me. THE HEYYYY AHHHS . make me so inexplicably happy i love them with all my heart. ALSO you know how i said i love silence this song has it too!!!!!!!! with the faded guitar right before the last instrumental break !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also again not to be a young k stan but u know i need to plug the 18125 i just nagoya young k fancam its in my genetics i will not apologize. he looks so happy i love . i listen to this song on a daily basis and you cannot stop me from doing so. if i get cloned and u have to figure out which charlie is the real one see which ones heartbeat starts getting faster by hearing the guitar riff then youll know.

Nobody Knows: the beginning of this song is the true modern mona lisa. i could listen to the guitar and drum before any vocals hit forever i am not gonna lie. this really reminds me of old 5sos in a way and i really like it.. gives me a lot of nostalgia from being a 14 year old (no i’m not a 5sos stan but listen to their new album it’s really good). absolutely very fun but probably also really sad if the lyric “please i dont wanna cry” says anything … yep ok. i forgot how much i love the bridge of the song listening to it now its really different to the rest of it its so so nice. very very good. i dont listen to this one as much as some from the album but i still love it a lot,, theres something about it thats a little haunting in a good way its like that buzzfeed unsolved episode where the ghost named apple tater visits them.

Falling: this song gets you because you think its gonna be a full soft ballad but it still has a rock heavy influence! this album is a LOT of more hard or classic sounding rock and i really like the direction they took it in! can i please talk about the bass riff RIGHT before the end of the verse its those little extra bits that are added in that make a song so much better and thats prime example. I’m not the biggest fan of the chorus of this song for some reason i feel like theres a little bit of something missing but the haunting synth that kicks in and gets more prominent all the way through the song is very very nice and adds to the whole acoustic rock (somehow??? they have the Range) vibe.

If ~また逢えたら～: this song was their debut japanese song and she has a very special place in my heart. it reminds me of a very specific time in my life. also its a fun one bc i always try to guess whether its the instrumental or the original version when it comes on shuffle (i have both saved lol). i love love LOVe the guitar at the between vocal lines in the chorus its so fucking juicy… you know what else we have is rapper k which as u know i go crazy over.. the instrumental version is young ks rap karaoke version. very very good. i think this passage from my old review of this (if you know, you know) sums it up ladies: and i honestly think youngks rap part just brings the song back to day6′s style!! like i dont think many other bands would have brought it down to that u know??? and i love it…. the instrumental in this is also so crunch !! its so aggressive but like the type of aggressive that snowstorms are on a weekday… bc they basically just showed up without warning, rendered us immobile,, but all in all we’re PUMPED that it happened.

Baby, it’s okay: this song is not my favourite song of day6’s, i think it’s lacking in some oomph for my ears, HOWEVER !! and this is a big however I really love the bridge and the lyrics and that makes up for it. also the “i want you to be happy” and “ill always be here for you” is so adorable truly.

anyways we all know this day6 has no bad songs, unlock is no exception.

- vara

#day6 #daysixnet #unlock #this is my grand return to tumblr perhaps?#review: vara #review

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puresponk-blog · 7 years

Text

From Start To Beginning. How And When. What & Why... My Story So Far.

I’ve always thought from when I was young I wasn’t the same as anyone else, I’ve shown people who I am even if sometimes I haven’t the clue who that is, but after everything, I think I’m starting to realise you only know how to live life the day you go six feet under.

From The Start To Beginning

I remember an ungodly amount from being as young as 5/6 and onwards, Im born and raised in England in a small town called Barnstaple, nothing major, I remember our first house, living with my mum and dad, in a very tiny two bedroom semi-detached house. After so long being there I remember Sam being born, from literally two days after he popped out he’s been there ever since. I was to understand why I think why I do, how I am and why? Just a little more so, finding yourself is the worst thing you can do. We are working class and very had much... iv never been on holiday, and I guess it's okay, can't be sad about something you never had I guess.

I remember things, days, moments from living there even if I don’t think of it, I remember walking to school, living next to a girls house who’d walk with me, one of my friends would live two minutes up the drive, another who I only saw at school but have known since we were babies, not so much know just our mums were friends, still are but never meet.

I like remembering how I used to think Father Christmas was real, the little things like the tooth fairy, even the odd few pounds would give me the power to feel what it’s like to decide what I want, even if it’s a sweet, toy car, it’s special.

We lived there for a good few years before moving about 20 minutes more so next to town, I kinda figure this’s when I remember a lot about life thinking about it now.

Everything seemed to get a little more and more unfair as I started to realise that some of these kids would have these new toys, but it didn't matter to the sense that it would bother be that much... young and naive as they say. Mom XY Dad So you kinda got a feel for what it was like living in the old house because it doesn’t matter as much when you’re young and don't remember. My mum is sweet and in some sense innocent, but she absorbs life instead of steals it, take things how it is just she hasn’t had a holiday, never been out of the country, hasn’t had many boyfriends at all, very content in how you just live and take things how they come. She’s into some mellow stuff and loves music, a huge music fan and was influenced loads from her mother as I in a way.

My dad is a little different, he’s into his old time rock a’ billy sound, more vintage metal if anything, his dad wasn’t the greatest influence though… he left him with his mother and didn’t do the most knowledgeable things, I remember him telling me a story of how his dad used to take him when he was a baby and go to hospital car parks and try of kinda not lure but use him as a little introduction to the lady business… and then left around the same year as when it kinda got a bit much I imagine, but is 100% take things when you do and don’t really help yourself if you can’t be fucked… very down to earth and will take anything if he thinks he can handle it, not a serious man at all, also an alcoholic and has a problem.

How & When

When we moved into the new house I still went to the same school, as my brother started at this point, kinda when you’re growing up and hit that age when you don’t wanna be treated like a kid anymore, music wise I wasn’t very varied, but wasn’t into that side as of yet just getting a taste almost, dipping your toe into the pool. This is when it stated getting pretty understandable, it wasn't okay anyway, wrong even but didn’t really know why in some ideas.

My mum caught on from when we weren’t born yet that my dad just wasn’t going to do anything with himself, he’s drinking got worse and worse not going out, treating many of us to the little things, just a drive would be like a two day holiday out of town with the experience just to go out almost… she didn’t love him anymore and used us as a starting point or excuse if you will to stop drinking go out more and live life but never got more than another town.

Around this time it got harder to understand many things, I was getting bullied from other kids for things like how I looked, pale ginger kid who wasn’t that amazing at a lot, as it was more everything at once around then, every day was just getting more tackling, going home to arguing constantly and awful silence to total screech and slaughter house environment… to wake up and get picked on it was just hard.

By now it’s getting to the end of primary school, there’s another baby on the way, I remember seeing dad trying for a few times taking us out but just to the beach the odd time, nothing major but probably proved more I his mind than actually proving something, he must have pulled off another stunt like oh let’s have another kid I’ll fix everything but probably didn’t last long, I remember him having cans next to his bed, waking up and just drinking from morning to day, everything you’d have in a normal home from what I could see was not in our favour, yet I guess you got to take it how it is…

… Anyone who knows what it was like as a kid must know how day to day you don’t feel the same when you’re older, the days are much slower and have more meaning, almost every day was a lesson, so you really pick up everything around you, and when there’s nothing but grief, stress, hatred it feels a lot more than it should do, kinda what makes me think everything stays with you when you’re younger…

I was in school and this is secondary, so the teenaged years are here… It was coming up to my birthday before I even started… not saying from now until I was born I never got anything or didn’t experience a lot, I joined a tennis club which only two people out of the entire school went… and wasn’t half bad at it at all, and cricket we ended up doing school leave play as well as football.

I was the defender in the school team and didn’t loose to any school for four years running, something silly like 9-2 every other year, so I wasn’t not doing anything, more so to just leave home so I don’t have to get shit from each ear about alcoholism or how she never touches him and how she has to sleep in the kids bedroom (Sam & Kane, Kane being the youngest now) cuz she can’t stand him all that shit… but he wasn’t leaving because his one stubborn man when he goes the ideas of pure bullshit in his head… mum would say he fools for his own bullshit…

I asked for an electric guitar for my birthday, which means money, something we don’t have much of, but I kicked and screamed and did this for days, I was in my first year of secondary school coming to 13/14.

They got my one tho, and couldn’t have been more grateful, by this time my music range was the complete opposite direction as anyone who I knew, mainstream wasn’t in my vocabulary… listening to hard rock, heavy metal, screamo, all the old stuff everything under what music stand for when everyone who I knew had the new 50 cent ringtone and got phones and hand this, that, and everything I’ve never thought of even having… so when I saw these guys making these songs which made me feel something totally different than I’ve ever felt I wanted to do that.

But still he didn’t leave, not the normal thing to do so the arguments went on for years… if you can think of crying and how shit is was STILL getting bullied not ever having many friends at all…

I think why I think like I do is because of my parents, kinda like that for everyone... I think if someone doesn't fit in it's because they're weird not because they're an individual? Could be very dependent, but from my experience... once you know you don't fit it, you never really will...

Come to day to day life it was get up, listen to screaming, go school, feel shit as fuck, go home, and feel even more shit so say to day life wasn’t pleasant but the appreciation for things like a roof or food just seemed mandatory so why’d I ever feel special?

By now it come to choosing GCSEs, I got really into art by this time and more so towards drumming, before I even chose my gcses I saw an electric kit in school so when I realised that I could go to this music room and not have to deal with anything but me in a room with music I could play cuz I couldn’t at home made a difference… and I ended up being pretty good when it comes to the drums as my alcoholic father says I got a real talent… as all drunks talk pure shit…

So now I begged and begged for a drum kit… and my dad some how got one because my mum didn’t work but dad worked in a factory…

I remember watching this video of trivium and it was the lead guitarist… and I was real into my music by now, and creative side to everything, in primary I loved English writing about wonders and things instead everyone else loved maths and I hated it, if never know what they were talking about and ever felt good when it happened…

But I saw him head banging with this sharp black Flying V just looking how I felt, and he had hair down to his shoulders or longer even, and thinking I want to look like that… I want the feeling of your hair going everywhere not seeing your face just the look, so when I bring it up sometimes as a joke but being deadly serious on the inside dad was very against it. He was very metal nothing poncey dying your hair like… but mum being very flower power opinionated for me to go for I touched me to do it and do things if you want to and think don’t worry what they thing…

So this pale ginger kid with a broken family who had fuck all to do other than play music and relate to heavy music has now dyed his hair from orange, or brown with a highlight of orange just orange in the sun to black mid length and very unpopular so I didn’t really help myself…

At all…

Coming towards the end of the year I had a little group of friends that looked like me, very emo very scene, very outcast very used to taking shit for literally anyone and everyone… so it was kinda a sanctuary, then the people who I thought were my friends for so much of a year decided to do something which kinda made things worse…

I went to the park where we kinda hung out when I only ever got a pity invitation from one of the guys or sometimes girls, like they’d be like why’d you bring him but always behind my back, I met them and we hung out in this girls house and wanted to check my Facebook and when it come to me leaving I forgot to sign out, so they went on all like five six of them threatened a bunch of different 18 year olds and dealers they’d pick up from and kids from our school… all thinking it’s be because they want to believe it, they didn’t know me so would’ve assumed the worse but shit it was so obvious… so it figuratively no one liked me again.

After that day for a solid few weeks it just didn’t feel safe to go anywhere, do anything I had to stay in this horrid house, I kinda turned to music a lot because I cut my hair down sort so it was natural, I left anyone who ever hurt me and moved towards the same friends as I did in school, the one who lived up the drive, and my other who was kinda raised with, kinda hung out with their friends and then on to be some of the best people and funniest people I’ve ever met.

They were also outcasts just not visually anything, stereotypically they were the nerds, living online with a controller in their hand doing nothing all day.

I kinda always picture the worst happening because that's always what's happened, now a days it's more you choose what happens and not being afraid to tell people what I think, it help a lot when in the middle of the first year I did kickboxing... and was the best in the class, I took it seriously which lead me to ranking up belts twice or even three times more than anyone else, I soon become a brown belt, one off a black but the teacher was flaky and we stopped going, me and my dad that is... I met my first actual girlfriend there, it was the teachers step daughter, we would learn up stairs and we the adults we upstairs we hung out downstairs... she was also not one to fit in everywhere but she had a few friends. After I cut my hair and looked sort of normal I noticed a real change of how people act around you especially kids by how you look, in my mind you can be this or that, but now, it really doesn't matter what you wanna be people are gunna say whatever and it won't bother you in a month? You won't remember in a few weeks so why let it get to you now? You'd be labelled for what you are and that really sticks with people so you might as well be true. My new friends... I liked them because at least I had people to see and talk to and be okay with saying hi when they walked down the hall, but still was not liked by many at all…

When I finished school everyone says your school days are the best you’ll ever have and I I thought If that were true I think I might have to blow my brains out… but it wasn’t easy and after everything that was happening at home and in school something weird happened in my life…

Essentially my dad hit my mum well… he did, it was getting really horrid between them and like I said they did this for years living in the same house but not together like… my mum tried to move out it just couldn’t happen, she couldn’t find work and no council flat or house was ready in a few months time… more like years… but because so when this riot of a show which I’ll spare you the details of (don’t worry it was nothing major at all just it was fucked up) she called the police and obviously I stopped him as soon as he touched her ya know it was just instinct but he got taken away, and the next morning smashing a window trying to get is after mum throwing his shit out. But he left… and stayed with his mother as he is doing right now… 50… btw…

And I was skating at the time, doing not half bad at all and was getting pretty used to playing a lot on guitar and drums, and is what I still do today because I’m pretty good at it, not so much art unfortunately, but I left secondary and all the friends I made we never seen again, it was time to choose what to do with your life…

I didn’t really have a clue with not enjoying a subject other than music art and a little graphic design but nothing major…

Mum and dad being working class they wanted me to be an electrician, they wouldn’t go a conversation without thinking of the money, and I never got what you’d call affection from either when I really think about it but wasn’t interested in the outside so I guess I never had the opportunity… kinda why I down play anything I’m good at because of my own mum and dad can’t find anything to encourage out of me hearing them say how good I could be if I follow their advice and become an electrician with no interest in it al all I pursued it…

All these built up feelings, anger was one... feeling like why would who people have a kid if they couldn't get them everything they wanted... why don't you go on holiday if you could? The worst thing is wasted time which could possibly spend making memories? Depression was also one... and I kinda felt it suited a lot to do with at home... you can't go through all this shit and expect not to wanna express it, even if it meant crying because you didn't know what you did for so many people to hate you? I never thought self harm as a realise until you think of actually having something to complain about, feeling a cut on the outside is sometimes better than feeling shit on the inside.

Now I haven’t mentioned any love life or anything like that until now, because I did loose my virginity but it wasn’t what you would call boyfriend girlfriend… more we would meet and then go with it… but I met this girl, and I couldn’t think of a better time for someone to somehow enter at the most right time?

No arguments, no bullying, I was normal looking and had made a few new friends, and now meet one of the most important people I’ve met since.

I mean I don’t wanna go on cuz like we aren’t together anymore but in a sense it was pure poetry everyday, everyday felt bliss, the fire they say that lights in your belly was roaring, feeling nothing but shit to sunshine for the first time it was one of the best feeling s I’ve ever feel and still searching for it again, I just hope I don’t get to relate to those quotes you see about never finding love again…

This girl, seen the country’s of Germany, Spain, two or three others I think, and yet she want to the same secondary and got spoken about the same way people did about me yet never spoke to her before ever, just the odd few times and one day, as Im walking home from collage who do I see walking under this underpass and smiles… the very same girl?! And she smiles at me?? Not like one of those side ounces like no effort like ya know she’s making pretty darn obvious and I literally thought na it’s cool I’ll look at her she’ll look at me and we will look away like everyone who’s ever looked at me…

And I don’t even smile back so I messaged her saying sorry I didn’t smile back?? Like wtf… how lame… but come a few days later I see her sitting on the opposite table as my friends and later messaged about getting a drink… the rest is pretty much history, perfect if you will… just I don’t think I’ve met anyone who was as serious as me when it come to something so special? Never mind the fact I already did another year of collage to get my level 2 diploma in electrical which I was starting to kinda get the hang of, still not interested but I did it, and yet we ended up living together, sharing everything, thoughts food, bed, house, life, and that’s what makes me think, how can someone know someone that well inside and out, how do you find that agin I don’t know? How I did in the first place I’m not sure at all…

But now it’s starting to get a little more clearer… I read somewhere that once you realise things will never be the same that’s when you can truly move on, another was when you find love it takes twice or sometimes three times as long to get over and honestly you’ll never get over it and yet that’s poetry… it’s not how who choose, it’s the ones who you want to see for the rest of your life because sometimes memories last a life time…

And who can me anymore satisfied with how you can go from the the worst days of your life to a few years later find this soul that’s exactly the same in so many ways yet the differences are what made it fun… I was having fun and I was in love… I think once you know what something’s value is, it’s not to imagine it to be a sad loss once it does go,enjoy what is happening right now… not what was yesterday? I want to think about tomorrow.

What & Why

So I think you’ll never understand what will happen if something will happen tomorrow who you’ll meet or what you’ll be, I’m in a band and we got a festival to play in June, to 350 people and I’ve played to a crowed of 15… and other to about 40? And I’ve been giving for about 3 months, I lost my job cuz I was always late and the people were absolutely awful… and now I got an interview with some of the sweetest women and team ever? You just never know what will happen? Iv applied to a music course to do for a year and after I’m moving to Plymouth to continue a degree in music? And you know what’s stayed through the worst and the best?

Music, my skateboard, my drum kit, my mum, and even the one who can leave something behind which can never be replaced? Memories… I can’t say I’ll ever understand life and I don’t think going about it seriously was what I should’ve done and it goes for anybody? You’ll never know what will happen? So just flow with it?

My Story So Far.

So what am I doing today? What’s made it easier? Who’s there now? Do you feel any wiser? Mistakes are probably the opposite to regret for the most part…

Just because I wouldn’t be here today if I had courage to do something sooner? I might be a hell of a lot wiser and probably a lot more understanding and normal… but what’s made it all worth the story? The journey instead of the destination… and that’s why I think you’ll only ever be completely understood of life is when you get laid six feel under? You just won’t know what you’re doing ever? If you told me six years ago I was going to be make a studio and be with a bad that’s planing a week tour I would’ve been laughing…

Hopefully I can think about what I was doing today in a few years thinking of the most ridiculous ideas and be living it… and I can’t wait…

The Story So Far? Can’t say I know yet… still enjoying the journey, not thinking about the destination, I think what makes it serious, when you care too much about what’s happing next instead of now? If you never do the things you’ve always wanted to, do they happen?

You’ll never know, will i ever know what love feels like again? Does it ever feel like you’ll know what you’re doing with your life? Does it make sense that what’s happening right now is for a reason? Do you ever want to hug the people you never think about touching again? Do selfish people ever say sorry for being selfish? Variety is the spice of life? No one wants to be stuck with someone until their teeth go? That’s boring? Sex is the most fun without laughing? You’ll never know where you are until you realise you are no where…

P.s. I hope you knock on my door, I want to leave Devon without knowing the people who meant less to me think more of me? I want to know that whenever either of us look back, it’s not shit but laughing…

From Start To Beginning. How And When. What & Why… My Story So Far.

@invisible-fate98

#I'm moving away soon and want you to read this before I do

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