#like? i guess it could be a good thing? reddit says it may be an informal job offer

[tricoufamily]

so almost two weeks after my two final interviews i apparently have to have one final meeting with the hiring manager tomorrow. they've told me literally nothing about what this meeting even is or why. will the suffering never end

[gigidragonbbxxx]

The Dark Side of Loass + motivation

I was on my daily reddit scroll while sipping my morning coffee when I saw something extremely disgusting on my homepage.

It was a manifestation success story by a man who claimed to have manifested his "perfect" gf - the kicker? She's underaged and he is a fully grown man.

The post has been deleted but the original poster's account is still up, as is his comment history. In his comments he details how he essentially used SATS and shot a message to someone he saw in discord. Apparently she is 15, lives with him due to an abusive situation, and yes they are s******y active. Apparently he treats her very well (he even mentioned bringing her to school YUCK) and buys her a lot of stuff and she's happy.

Let me make this clear:

a girl in an abusive home situation is not "saved" by an adult man taking advantage of it in the guise of "improving" her life situation while subjecting her to doing physical things she cannot consent to because she is not a damn adult.

I did some digging and it was not very long until I saw his first-ever comment about it and it was worse than I thought. I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt like maybe he visualized for a perfect gf and he didn't know she was a minor. Well, that says more about me than anything bc yes I found out that he had specified that he wanted her underaged. He literally says in the comment "specifcs that could get me in trouble". He made a lot of comments about her body, etc. and quite literally said something along the lines of "I'm her savior and shes my obsessed loving gf". Keep in mind...one of the titles this man used (he posted twice in diff subreddits) was "I manifested a s** s****e". So. Yup. He's a whole p*do.

I will not be sharing links as I don't want to give that horrible man any more traction but if you read all that and said to yourself, but Gigi whats that got to do with the dark side of the law of assumption? and why would you say there's a dark side to it?

The truth is that the law isn't dark at all, the evil part of the law is the people who use it for evil.

This is why good things can happen to horrible people.

This is why you see villains win.

They may have an amazing self-concept OR they just are under the assumption that NO MATTER HOW HORRIBLE THEY ARE THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT EVEN IF ITS FUCKED UP AND MORALLY TWISTED.

It's why you see nepo babies who aren't talented get shit handed to them - THEY EXPECT IT BECAUSE OF WHAT? WHO. THEY. ARE. SO CHANGE YOUR INNER SELF. EMBODY THAT CONFIDENCE.

This is why I wanted to share that story with you, it is to motivate you: if you know you're a better person than that horrible man, WHY CAN'T YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT TOO?

Shouldn't you deserve even more for being good?

Stop thinking you don't deserve things bc guess what? People who are genuinely criminals are out here manifesting - so stay on your zoom and FOCUS. SATURATE. DISCIPLINE. COMMIT.

and let's all collectively agree to pray for that girl. I'm honestly gonna affirm that she gets saved and ends up in a situation where she is protected, loved, and away from predators.

Do not let evil win. Use it to remind yourself that the law is about BELIEF not FEELING.

with a heavy heart, xx, gigi

[inksword]

One thing I wish all communities of Worm (reddit, tumblr, the forum who must not be named, etc.) would do a bit more frequently is acknowledge Lisa's asexuality. Like, okay you can still ship her with all your favorite ladies but she could be ace about it ya know? This isn't even WoG aceness it's in the actual text of Ward from her own mouth. It's not totally unexpected just sort of a bummer that an extremely rare asexual character in a piece of media that I like gets almost uniformly cast as a lesbian without a nod to her canon sexuality.

She could still date girls! I personally think she's aro not just ace but since that wasn't explicitly mentioned she could still date girls within her canon characterization!

And before anyone throws a "Wildbow totally wrote her bi/lesbian he just doesn't know it, disregard canon statements of sexuality" like they do with Taylor:

Asexual people can have incredibly close friendships

Asexuals can make sex jokes or observations, sometimes certain jokes seem even more absurd or silly to us because we're asexual!

Asexuals can be hyper aware of how they are perceived in terms of affection

You know if Wildbow had confirmed her canon lesbianism in Ward people would cite that shit and not brush it off "because it's Ward and bad and I haven't read it" (okay some straight-dude spacebattles fanfic writers would ignore it but I don't think that's who I'm talking to here.)

IDK if I can remember every argument that people use to justify headcanoning her as lesbian but please please please just believe her own words and her own reflections on her life and feelings. Yes it's a Watsonian argument but I don't think there's a good Doylist reason to doubt her about it either.

I am not here to take away your ships just... venting a little I guess haha. Yes yes I know that technically every shippy drawing of her could technically be her being ace but when that's every shippy drawing with no acknowledgement it doesn't hit ya know? Like getting bi representation and seeing a character 99% shipped with one gender. I seriously don't want to dampen anyone's enjoyment of Tattletale or say you can't relate to her if you're not ace however!

Ughhh I totally feel like a wet blanket complaining considering I pretty much only contribute a drawing every four years to the fandom. I'll admit I don't voraciously read worm-fic so I may be totally off base and she gets acknowledged all the time in places I don't see. I guess anyone got any good explicitly ace Tattletale fics haha?

[tangledinink]

Chapter Eight of I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? is up! The Hamatos talk to some extended family in hopes of getting some answers... but they mostly get more questions. Read on ao3 or below the cut!

[ prev ]

"Mikey."

Hm...?

"Mikey!"

Couldn't they tell he was sleeping right now...? He was having a really good dream... Just... Five more minutes...

"MIKEY!"

Ah! Okay!!! He was up!

Mikey kind of squeaked in surprise, flopping down on his bed a lot harder than he was expecting. In fact, he hadn't been expecting to flop down on his bed at all. And what was Leo doing in his room? He kind of blinked, a bit dazed for a moment, staring at his brother.

"... Did something happen?" He asked after a second, still a bit out of it. What was going on? He had been dreaming, he remembered, which was not unusual for him. He dreamed almost every night, for as long as he could remember. He and Dad had been cooking together... They were making something, but he couldn't remember what now, the dream already fading away, retreating to the corners of his mind... But he had been so excited, and his dad had...

Oh. Right.

Dad wasn't here. Dad was missing. Mikey's expression dropped as the memory came back to him, and he lost Dad all over again, all the grief and anxiety and fear coming crashing back. 

He hadn't enjoyed dreaming as much lately.

"Uhm, yeah something happened!" Leo all but shrieked, his eyes blown up wide. "You were floating! And glowing!"

Mikey blinked slowly at him. "... What?" He said after a minute. "Uhm. Leo. Are you okay? And... what are you doing in my room?"

"I don't-- I-- that's not the point!" Leo snapped, his face flushing dark as he scowled. "The point is that you were doing spooky magic stuff in your sleep! Which is definitely not normal! What the hell is going on?! Did you do that on purpose?! Are you possessed by a demon!? I told you to stop going on that Reddit forum!"

"What?" Mikey gawked, his brows furrowed. "What are you even talking about? And what Reddit forum?"

"The one with the guy! And the pan?"

"... The hundred coats of seasonings guy?"

"Yeah! That one!"

"You think that the hundred coats of seasonings cast iron pan guy possessed me like a demon?"

"I'm saying that that kind of behavior is clearly of the devil!!!" Leo cried. "I mean, come on! A hundred coats?! And also that you were definitely floating a second ago!!!"

"Uh..." Mikey frowned a bit, his brows furrowing. This was... not really in-character behavior for Leo. Was lack of sleep finally getting to him? He did seem pretty convinced about this whole 'floating and glowing' thing, and... well... things had been kind of weird recently. His mind wandered vaguely back to his notebook, may it rest in pieces, and he bit the insides of his cheeks.

But floating? Glowing?

"Do you think maybe you were dreaming, Leo?" He ventured after a moment, tilting his head to the side.

"What?! No! I was not dreaming! I mean-- I was, before, but I mean, I wasn't during that part! I woke up! I swear!"

"Are you sure?" Mikey said, doubt beginning to creep into his voice, despite his best efforts at keeping things level. "'Cause, I mean, I know we're all kind of stressed..."

"Look, I know what I saw, okay!" Leo insisted. "Everything was... orange! It was like you ate a bunch of freaking fireflies or something! You were in the air! And, like, okay, yes, maybe, I had a crazy dream also, and I guess I must have sleepwalked in here, which is weird but that doesn't mean-- I know what I saw! There's no way I imagined that, Mikey, there's just no way--"

Mikey listened for a while, all droopy-eyed, still half-asleep, before he slowly scooted over to the far side of his bed, pulling open the covers for the other.

Leo groaned loudly in frustration, dragging his hands down his face and glaring at him for a moment. Mikey was afraid he was gonna have to argue, which he was not awake enough to do, before Leo finally climbed into bed with his brother, all grumpy and indignant as he did so.

"This is not over."

"Mmhmmm..."

"We're not done talking about this, Miguelito."

"Mmm..."

"I know what I saw. And this is not an admission of wrongness, either! I am doing this for your sake!"

"Leo. Shut up."

 Leonardo grumbled loudly, rolling over onto his side, the two of them comfortably back to back under the covers, but thankfully, for once, did as he was told.

---

“Dad,” Leo whispered excitedly, hoisting himself up onto their father’s bed by the sheets. It took a few tries, but eventually, he managed to get himself up there, scrabbling up to the surface and scooting across the mattress so that he could shake his dad’s shoulders. “Dad. Dad!!!”

He watched his father startle slightly as he was awoken, his eyes bleary as he stared at his child, mouth agape. “Hm…? Wha…?”

“Dad! It’s really important.”

“Wha… what is it, Blue?” Dad mumbled softly, smacking his lips a few times, but still rolling over in bed so that he could face his son properly. “What do you need?”

“What comes after seventy-nine?”

His dad blinked slowly, fighting to keep his eyes open. “What?”

“What number comes after seventy-nine? I forgot.”

Dad mumbled softly, taking a moment before he finally responded. “... Eighty. Like how eight comes after seven, remember, my son…?”

“OH! Yeah! Eighty!!!”

“Yes. Eighty.”

“I was counting the stuff on the fish poster.”

“Mmmm…”

“‘Cause I couldn’t sleep.”

“Mmm-hmmm…”

“And ‘member, ‘cause, you said, uh, you said before that if I couldn’t sleep, I should try counting stuff? So I was counting all the different things on the, uhm, the fish poster, with the shark on it. That’s my favorite poster. It’s better than the basketball one, even. Donnie agrees. But, and, and I was counting it and I got all the way up to seventy-nine!” Leo declared proudly. “But then I forgot what came next. There’s still more stuff on the poster.”

“Mmmm… very good, Blue…”

“Yeah,” Leo said, beginning to pull some of the covers aside. His dad grumbled a bit, but his eyes were already closed again. “I’ve never counted up that big before all by myself.”

“Very impressive…”

“Do you think I can get to a hundred?” Leo questioned, burrowing in with his father, pulling the blankets back up over both of them. “All by myself?”

“Mmm-hmmm…”

“Donnie can count to a’hundred. And then even higher than that!”

“Mmmm…”

“I wanna do it, too,”  Leo whispered, curling up small, tucking himself up against his Dad’s side and clinging to him slightly. His feet were kind of cold from the walk over, so he pressed them up against his dad’s legs to warm them back up. “It’s gonna be so awesome…”

“Mmmm.”

“... Dad?”

“Mmm?”

“Do you think there’s a whole hundred things on the fish poster for me to count? Or will I run out? ‘Cause I don’t know exactly how many is on there. Just that it’s more than seventy-nine.”

“Leonardo…”

“Uh-huh?”

“Go to sleep,” Dad mumbled tiredly, wrapping an arm around his child, squeezing him tight. “I am sure things will work out. Right now, just sleep.”

---

April was not expecting to get jumped before she even made it to the breakfast table. She wasn't exactly excited about it, either, stumbling a bit as Leo grabbed her by the arm, yanking her down the hallway to literally corner her. Hey now, wait a minute-- this had been her plan!

"April, something's wrong with Mikey," Leo hissed fervently under his breath, his eyes narrowed into slits, and April's heart fell into her stomach.

"What happened?!" She immediately demanded, her eyes wide, a million possibilities flying through her head. Oh god, she knew she should have kept a closer eye on him-- she knew he was more upset than he was letting on and yet she still--!

"I caught him floating above his bed last night. And glowing! Like the freakin' exorcist or something!"

April's expression rapidly shifted.

"Okay, I know you did not just give me a heart attack for no goddamn reason Hamato Leonardo."

"What?!"

"This is not funny! I thought something really bad actually happened!"

"I'm being serious! Come on, April, you have to believe me!"

"Uhm. Okay. Well, first of all, let the record show that I do not have to do anything," April scoffed, placing a hand on her hip, giving the other a rather unimpressed look. "Second of all, while we’re here, let the record also show that I also do not appreciate you picking a fight with my mom yesterday!"

"ME?!" Leo gaped, his brows raising up. "I didn't pick a fight with her! She picked a fight with me!"

"What! She did--"

"Look, this is so not the issue! April, I'm being serious! I saw Mikey floating last night! It was freaky! He was sleeping and he was just, like, hovering over his bed! And I don't know what to do! If I tell Raph, he's just gonna freak out, and you know Donnie will never believe me!" He begged.

April narrowed her eyes. 

"... When's the last time you slept?"

"Oh, come on, April!" Leo groaned, throwing his head back. "I slept last night! I swear! Ask Mikey! I really, really did!"

"Ask Mikey?" April echoed. "Leo, what were you even doing in Mikey's room to begin with?"

"That's. Uh. Well, that's beside the point!"

"Leo."

"This isn't about me--"

"Leo!"

"Okay! Fine! I don't know!" He groaned, wrinkling his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. "I don't remember, okay? I think I was sleepwalking or something, but I really was awake for the Mikey part! Something for real weird is going on with him! Remember when his notebook caught on fire?"

"I thought you guys said that that was a cover story," April said, pursing her lips. "And I hope you know how this sounds, Leo."

"I do, and I know, but now I think... I dunno, maybe it actually happened? I mean-- I just-- I dunno how else to explain this stuff, April! You saw Dad disappear too! You know that wasn't natural, I know that you saw it."

"Look, Leo, I know that you're under a lot of stress, and you don't always sleep very well..."

"April. Please," Leo pressed again, his voice tight and his eyes wide. "Come on. I don't know how to deal with this on my own. I need your help."

April sighed softly, her shoulders slumping a bit as she examined the other's expression. Why did he have to look so goddamn sincere and pathetic...? That just made this so much harder!

... But, as much as she hated to admit it, he... did have a little bit of a point. She had run the scene through her head about a million times now, and she still had no idea what she saw. Yoshi and the intruder had been right in the middle of the room, and then they just weren't. How did something like that happen?

 "... Okay, fine," she relented, frowning as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Let's say I believe you. Which I'm not saying I do! What are we supposed to do about it?" 

 Leo gave a sigh of what might have been relief, pursing his lips slightly. "I dunno," he admitted. "But something weird is going on. So I think we're gonna have to do some digging..." He scrunched up his face. "... And that means we might have to get Donnie on board."

"I thought you said he'd never believe you," April said, knowing that he wouldn't.

"He won't. So we're gonna have to be... creative," Leo said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "C'mon. Let's go."

"Uhm, no? I'm getting breakfast first."

"Ughhh. Seriously? Fine. Breakfast, and then let's go."

Ooh, April was gonna kill this boy. Though she was, admittedly, a lot less inclined towards violence once she had a wildberry poptart in her system. Reluctantly, she followed Leo upstairs to the third floor to rap on Donnie's door. Leo cautiously peeked his head inside, creaking the door open slowly.

"Heeyyyyyy, Donnie...? You up?" The two of them peered into the room where they found their brother, hunched over their computer. They barely even turned to face them before they began signing.

'Leo, if this is about hacking Mrs. O’Neil's phone again, I already told you, you would still have to get parental consent to go on air, you're a minor--'

"What?!" April yelped. Scratch that last part about feeling less violent, she was going to strangle him. "Leo!--"

"HAHAHA, Donnie, I have no idea what you're talking about! This is completely unrelated to that other request that I definitely never made of you!" Leo laughed loudly, swinging the door the rest of the way open and darting his way inside before April could smack him, flitting over to his twin's side as if that might protect him. April growled softly, swinging the door shut behind her as she followed him in. They were so lucky that she was making an effort to be extra nice to them.

'Okay, then, get out of my room?' Donnie suggested dryly, turning back around, their hands returning to their keyboard as soon as they had finished signing, eyes immediately back to their computer screen. Or, computer screens, rather. They had at least five monitors pinned up, all of them doing different things as Donnie tapped away, staring at the glowing screens intensely. April didn't even wanna try to follow whatever the hell they were trying to do, nor think about how much sleep they had been getting recently. At least some. She knew from past experiences that he was not capable of pulling actual all-nighters without his brain turning to straight-up mush. He’d get all loopy and confused, and it was admittedly pretty hilarious, but not very effective. He could, however, get away with two-to-three hours a night and come out the other side functioning, but cranky. She suspected this was the current situation. 

"Well," Leo began, leaning over the desk slightly. April watched Donnie's eyes twitch with annoyance. "We were just wondering, uh, if you had made any progress with your... whatever it is you're doing?"

'No,' Donnie responded coldly, bristling as he glared at their screen. 'If I made any progress, Nardo, I would have told you by now. I haven't found any leads online, I haven't been able to track Dad's smartwatch, I haven't found him on any security footage,' Where was he getting security footage feeds? Actually, nevermind, 'or anything else that's helpful, okay? I'm doing my best! If you have a problem with it, why don't you--'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy! I'm not trying to critique or whatever!" Leo defended, putting up his hands. "I was just thinking, uh... what if… we went through some of Dad's stuff?"

Donnie all but growled, like actually for-real growled, giving Leo a look. Every time they had to stop typing to respond to their twin, they looked just a little bit closer to a crime of passion. 'I just told you, I'm going through Dad's stuff.' They pressed, their ASL sharp and choppy with frustration. 'I've already gone through his social media, through all his files, his emails, I've been through his phone--'

"No, no, I mean, like..." Leo hesitated a second. "Like, his physical stuff. Like... go through his room."

Donnie paused. He frowned a bit, looking Leo up and down suspiciously.

'Why?'

"I don't know. I just. I think maybe we might find something," Leo pressed. "I mean, we've tried everything else, right? Maybe there's something useful in there."

'Dad wouldn't want us looking through his stuff. The police already looked anyway.'

"Oh, like he'd be tickled about any of the rest of this situation? I think Dad would want to come home!" Leo said, raising a brow. "Maybe the police looked, but those guys are idiots, and we haven't. What if we find something, Donnie? Something actually helpful?”

Okay, that was a pretty good argument, April had to admit. Dee could be pretty hard to reason with once he had made up his mind about something and emotional appeals very rarely worked. But... April glanced over at Donnie out of the corners of her eyes, biting the insides of their cheek. She knew Donnie missed their dad. All of them did. Of course they all did, and it wasn't like Donnie missed Yoshi any more than their brothers did, that's not what she meant, but...

 Donnie hadn't spoken since he had gone missing. They barely left their room, barely ate, barely slept... All of them were having a hard time. Donnie just... didn't always deal with change and stress that well. This was the longest Donnie had been non-verbal in years, and just...

All she meant was that having some sort of a lead instead of repeatedly banging their head against the wall up here by themselves might be good. And she was sure Donnie knew that, too.

'Fine,' Donnie relented, pushing their chair away from their desk so they could get to their feet, visibly wincing as their joints no doubt protested after being in one position for so long. 'But if I end up mentally scarred, I'm gonna be annoyed.'

---

Donnie was tired.

They were no stranger to exhaustion, either. They found that it was a common companion. Sure, they were an athlete just like their brothers, and capable of plenty. They rarely found themselves winded or out of breath. The amount of activities and commitments that filled their calendar had always felt reasonable and manageable to them, though they recognized that it would be enough to overwhelm many. Coding marathons and long study sessions didn't bother them.

But sometimes they were just... fucking tired. They hated how quickly they tired as compared to their brothers, but it had been this way their entire life. They'd go to a sci-fi convention, and Donnie would enjoy himself, they'd be happy to be there, but they would just... get so fatigued so quickly. Even with their headphones on and their brothers nearby, even with a carefully planned itinerary of their day, they would still always find themselves exhausted halfway through their trip and lagging behind. Mikey, Leo, and Raph were always raring to go, thrilled at the chance to take on the next thing, and he'd be trudging behind them wishing he could lay down and just take a nap. God forbid they have any change of schedule or inadvertent last-minute plans; then he'd be worn down even quicker.

 The world was a lot to take in. Emotions were a lot. And processing it all took so much out of him. It was frustrating. Especially when they knew they weren't the only one wearing thin right now. They knew full well that everyone was having a hard time. They knew that Leo wasn't sleeping, that Raph was running himself ragged worrying about everything... which was exactly why they had to keep going.

There had to be an answer somewhere. Some way to fix this. Everything had an answer. People didn't just disappear. 

Their dad had to be somewhere. This was just a fact. All he had to do was figure out where.

... Which was proving much more difficult than he had anticipated.

 Usually, he was not one to be dragged into Leo's stupid schemes or plots, but at this point, they were running out of other options. Nothing else they had tried was working, so... desperate times, desperate measures?

And going through their dad's room was certainly a desperate measure.

It wasn't terrible, but it... definitely wasn't clean either. Donnie made a face as the three picked their way in, closing the door behind them and flicking the light on. God, why was there so much dirty laundry all over the place?! Note to self, figure out some kind of solution to avoid this in the future. A modified Roomba, perhaps? Ugh, whatever. Focus.

"Where do we start?" April said, wrinkling her nose and looking around the room.

"I dunno. Just... start going through stuff, I guess. Look for anything weird. There's gotta be something useful," Leo mumbled, stepping forward, beginning to thumb his way through old magazines stacked up on the dresser.

"Are you sure about this, Leo? This feels sort of... wrong," April said, kind of wrapping her arms around herself, clearly having second thoughts. Donnie couldn't say they blamed her. There was a sort of 'ickiness' to this whole thing. They felt a bit like a child going through their mother's purse.

"Look, if either of you has a better idea..." Leo huffed. As Donnie, unfortunately, did not, they got to work, quietly wishing they had brought their gloves with them as they began sifting through their dad's stuff. 

For the most part, they were quiet, only occasionally speaking up (or signing, as the case may be,) to ask a question or grab the others' attention. It wasn't as if there wasn't anything interesting to be found in here, either. There was. There was plenty of interesting stuff. Thus far, the group had uncovered at least one Lou Jitsu body pillow (ew,) a bunch of paperwork that their father had seemingly neglected to actually fill out and submit yet, ("Are these tax forms?") the evidence of at least three crimes that they had thought they had properly disposed of, ("Why is he hiding this from us!? What does he have planned?!") and about a gazillion snacks that he had squirreled away in various hiding places in his room. But, so far... nothing useful.

 "Hey... what about this?" Leo asked after a long period of silence, no sound in the dimly lit room aside from shuffling.

Donnie, who had just been preparing to break into their father’s nightstand, glanced over and gawked for a moment.

'His altar? Seriously, Leo? It's not bad enough that we're rifling through the rest of his stuff, you want to tear apart that, too?'

"I'm not gonna hurt it! But we might as well explore every option!" Leo insisted, shrugging, trying to look casual. Donnie didn't buy it for a moment. "Plus, like... look at this stuff. Some of it is kinda weird, right...?" He mumbled, beginning to grab a few trinkets off the shelf. "Here. Look at this." 

Donnie frowned, but he made his way over anyway, accepting the item Leo pressed into his palm. It was some weird necklace he had never seen before, carved out of porcelain or something, with these symbols painted along the front and sides. It was very pretty, and Donnie was certain if he did his research he could find a fascinating cultural history behind it, but...

None of that was gonna help find their Dad.

Donnie was going to protest, but Leo was already passing a new item into their hand, waving April down with a, "come here, come look at this," and Donatello sighed, resigning themselves to their current position. None of the things Leo had handed them, however, meant anything to them. They were just... things. Things that Donnie could research, sure, but what use could that possibly be here? These were just knick-knacks! They grit their teeth as they sorted through them, growing more and more irate. They were just silly items that their dad collected for sentimental purposes, they had no meaning, there was no secret here for them to unveil, and no way that it was any help in--

Their fingers brushed against a folded scrap of fabric, and their eyes locked on the pattern of red thread sewn along the inside.

Donnie froze.

They recognized that pattern. Setting the other objects aside, he carefully unfolded the fabric, (What was this? An obi?) running his fingers along the seams of it. It was a fairly simple emblem, a circle with stripes running through it like the spokes of a wheel, smaller circles inside of each part. He swallowed hard, leaning in a bit closer. He... recognized this. He had seen it before. Where had he seen it before...?

"... Donnie?" April said, sounding kind of far away. Donnie ignored her. They were busy.

They absolutely racked their memories, pulling desperately at every neuron in their head, reaching into every fold of their mind, trying to figure out where he had seen this, because he knew he had, he was certain of it. This meant something, but he had no idea what. He just... felt like it had to be important. So why couldn't he remember?

Come on. Come on. This is important. I can feel it, they hissed internally, gritting their teeth. 

"Dee? Did you find something?" Decline call. Busy right now. Stop talking. I'm trying to focus. 

We need to know this. I need to be able to understand this. Come on, stupid brain, work! Dad needs us. I have to know this. So tell me what this is! I swear I know--

All at once, the room lit up with a violet glow, this dazzling gleam flooding the room for an instant. They could hear something rattling in their father's closet. For just a moment, some sort of shape, made out of light itself, began to stitch itself into his hands, around his fingers, around the obi he was holding.

Donatello gasped loudly, dropping the fabric like it had burned him and leaping back. The light disappeared all at once, fading away like it had never been there in the first place. All three of them gaped in silence for a moment. The air crackled with leftover energy, lingering like smoke after a fire.

Eventually, however, Leo found his tongue again, whipping around to face April.

"I told you!!!"

---

The restrictions of his new working conditions were... challenging. Not insurmountable by any means, but they did, admittedly, make progress much slower than he would like.

Much slower.

After a period of 'laying low,' he had of course made another visit to the Hamato household, intending to repossess his experiments, Lou Jitsu or not, but was frustrated to find a powerful mystical barrier had been placed over the apartment. At his full power, Draxum was certain he'd be able to break through, but in his current state, it was... an obstacle. He had been forced to retreat and reevaluate. 

He should have known that Lou Jitsu would seek reinforcements to keep him out. He curled his lips a bit at the other's cowardice, hiding away rather than facing him, but it didn't matter. They couldn't stay inside their little palace forever. Sooner or later, he knew he would be able to catch them outside of the protection of their home and reclaim what was his. They would join his side willingly once he spoke with them, he was sure.

In the meantime, he prepared.

He had already drafted about three dozen different tests he would want to run to measure how well his initial experiment had fared over the past fourteen years or so. It was obviously less than ideal that they had spent so much time in uncontrolled conditions, and that they had been under the influence of Lou Jitsu rather than himself, but… still. They existed. That was enough. The data he could gather alone would be invaluable. He had spent a great deal of time collecting all the various materials he would need to examine things like cell growth, mutation capacity, and any number of other biological factors. Humans hardly had the quality of components available to them as compared to what he could find in the Hidden City, but... it would have to do. He couldn’t risk showing his face in the Hidden City right now.

The torturous part was the absolute breadth of resources that the humans lacked.

Hunched over a make-shift desk he had fashioned, deep in his likewise make-shift sewer laboratory, he snarled in frustration, balling up his fists around stacks of papers and uncompleted checklists. Every lab and pharmacy he broke into, he never found everything he needed. Human technology was so primitive… Not to mention their dismal grasp of alchemy. And every item he was unable to procure he would be forced to fabricate, which would use up precious mystic energy, which would only lead to him falling farther and farther behind in his timeline--

How long could he afford to wait!? Every day, the prophecy loomed further over his head. He could feel the breath of danger hot on the back of his neck. He had already wasted so much time, and here he was, his goal literally within his sight, and yet…!

He swept the papers from his desk with a violent thrash of his arm. It was childish, he knew, and he would only regret it later when he had to clean it all up again, but it made him feel better in the moment. He sighed deeply through his nose as he watched the lists slowly flutter back down to the ground, his shoulders slumping slightly…

Only to pinch his brows together and frown when the papers… instead began to flutter behind him, all whisking away in unison, darting unnaturally past him.

“What the--?” 

Draxum had just barely turned, glancing behind him, when the cool violet light behind him blossomed into a full-blown sigil, pulsing firmly to his back and promptly beginning to swallow him whole. Draxum gave a surprised shout as he was sucked inside the magickal door, writhing as he did so, clawing desperately at the air. But he had nothing to hang onto, and in mere moments, the doorway he had been forced through blinked shut behind him-- leaving only the doorway up ahead.

He only had seconds to prepare himself. But he already had his feet beneath him as the portal spit him out somewhere new, his head whipping up immediately to face whoever dared summon him here.

“What’s going on? Who brought me here?” He spat, every muscle in his body tensed and angry, ready to fight. He had no idea where he was. Some human alleyway, it seemed, sad and dark and wet as they typically were. He was almost convinced he was alone before he heard a gravelly cackle bounce off the walls, the echo sounding like pebbles scraping across sand. Two bouncing red flames emerged from the darkness, and he tensed, baring his teeth in a silent warning.

“Is this the sheep guy?”

“Be cool. He’s a warring warrior scientist.”

“Sweet! Triple threat.”

Were they talking about him? As if he wasn’t even there-- who did these fools think they were? Underestimating Baron Draxum would be the last thing they ever did.

Draxum rose up to his full height, clenching his hands into fists and glowering at the strangers. “I will end both of you,” he snarled. His power may be weakened, but it was still plenty enough to destroy these two interlopers. If they thought summoning him with this silly party trick was all they would need to apprehend him and collect a reward from the Hidden City Police, then they were sorely mistaken.

“Easy, easy,” the smaller of the pair bade, extending a hand outward. Draxum narrowed his eyes. “I think we just might share some of the same goals… Like taking care of that pesky Lou Jitsu. And those odd children of his,” he hissed, tightening his hand into a fist.

Children?

Right. Of course.

His turtles. Beneath his skin, his temper flared, sharp and spined, scratching against his muscles angrily. He wasn’t inclined to trust any strangers, especially given his current circumstances, but… 

He supposed it was possible he might be able to find a use for these two. They were competent enough, at least, to summon him here, and he was hardly in an advantageous position at the moment… he stood to gain ground.

Draxum frowned deeply, narrowing his eyes. Perhaps he would hear them out.

“I’m listening…”

---

"Oh, HANG ON NOW--"

"Mikey--"

"No no no! So, let's get this straight. When I tell you guys that my notebook caught on fire--"

"Mikeeyyyy."

"Then I'm crazy, and also lying and covering up a cigarette addiction, apparently--"

"Michael. Come on."

"But when YOU guys tell ME that Donnie has glow-stick bones--"

"That's not what I said."

"That's reasonable?!"

"Okay, fine!" Leo sighed loudly, holding his hands up in defeat. "I will concede that, maybe, possibly, there is a slight chance that actually I was wrong about the fire thing, and also you were totally telling the truth. We are oh so very sorry, Miguel. I mean. Even though you really can't blame us…"

"BOY, I swear to GOD--"

"But this is serious! Donnie really did glow! And so did you last night! I saw you. Stop trying to deny it."

Mikey sighed loudly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Okay, magic fire is one thing, but I’m pretty sure I would have noticed if I could float! And glow!”

"Okay, look. Regardless, something weird is obviously going on! I could believe one of us just totally going crazy and starting to have weird hallucinations or something, but all of us!? We're not all just imagining things! There's something going on, and there's an answer in this chest! There has to be!"

Raph frowned a bit, not looking entirely convinced. "Are you sure, Leo? I don't think Dad would want us going through his stuff."

"Dad isn't here!" Leo cried, throwing his arms in the air. "What about that don't you guys get?! Do you guys wanna figure out what's going on and how we're gonna get him home, or don't you!? There's no way this magic stuff isn't involved somehow!"

As his brothers continued to argue, Donatello ran his hands over the length of the dusty wooden chest they had dragged out of the very back of Dad's closet. It had been all tucked away inside of a box, underneath a bunch of old clothes, mostly theirs from when they were kids. Hidden-- like Dad wanted to make sure no one found it. The same symbol that was on the obi was on the front of this chest. It looked absolutely ancient and was clearly handcrafted, locked shut with a golden padlock, and absolutely tempting the shit out of Donnie. 

"What do you think, Dee?" April nudged gently, leaning over next to him. "Think we can get it open?"

For the past four days, Donatello had been all systems go, full steam ahead. He had barely slept, didn't want to eat, didn't want to do anything except claw at the wall in front of them, trying to find a way to save their dad. And so far, nothing worked.

But now here they were. With this chest in front of them. A lead, finally. Even more than that. Something... interesting.

For days now, Donnie hadn't felt much beyond numb, anxious, helpless. 

Right now? He was curious.

"Yeah," Donnie said after a second. His throat felt a bit rough, a bit sore from being unused, but that was okay. "Shouldn't be too hard."

This alone was enough to stop Raph in his tracks, and Leo absolutely beamed, immediately moving to join Donnie's side. "All right! Dee's got this. If anyone can pick the lock, they can!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Donatello responded smoothly, pulling his bag off of his back, unzipping it and beginning to shuffle through its contents. "I've never picked a lock in my life," they added in, pulling out a small toolkit and cracking it open, immediately getting to work on the golden lock in front of them. "And anyone who indicates otherwise is clearly confused and does not have any evidence to back them up, meaning their testimony will not hold up in court. Especially considering I have four counter-witnesses right here who can attest that I would never engage in any such behavior, and in fact, we were elsewhere at the time of the crime..."

The padlock was open within forty-five seconds. Nice, new record.

Donnie could feel all four of their siblings leaning over their back, all wide-eyed as they pulled the chest open. Usually, they would get annoyed, but this was too big of a moment to fuss over. And inside, they found...

Paper.

Raph frowned a bit. "Is that it?" He questioned. "It's just... paper."

"Just paper?" Leo scoffed. "I'm sorry, what did you say? Did you say it’s just paper? Obviously, this is important paper! What's it say, Dee?"

"Wow, read the paper we found? What an innovative idea. Great plan. What an impressive pair of strategic minds you two have. Truly leaders of our generation..." Donnie muttered dryly, rolling his eyes as he moved to grab the long scrolls of paper folded up inside the chest.

And the moment he touched it-- "Whoa."

Before another question, comment, or sassy remark could be made by anyone in the group, a bright blue light burst from the scroll in Donnie's hand, overtaking them all in a shimmering, mystic glow. Mikey yelped in surprise, jumping behind Raph, who, at the same time, leaned closer to Leo, Donnie, and April, his hands moving over their shoulders, as if ready to yank them back. Donnie just barely resisted the urge to drop the paper altogether.

Mikey was, admittedly, not the only one to shriek when about a dozen ghostly blue figures burst into the room around them, encircling the group, manifesting in a cloud of gentle mist. 

"Greetings, young Hamatos," one of the figures spoke, their voice soft and echoing, yet seeming to transmit straight into Donnie's mind. He swore he wasn't hearing it with his ears at all-- this was a direct transfer. "It is an honor to be in your presence. What wisdom do you seek?"

The entire group stared for a minute.

"Oh. My god," April finally bit out.

"Dad had people in his closet!? This whole time!?" Mikey yelped, his eyes wide, having half climbed on top of Raph at this point.

"Fascinating," Donnie whispered, leaning forward to swipe his hands through the man a few times, amazed to see that it passed straight through. "They appear to be holograms? Or perhaps projections...? The polygons--"

"Dee, I know that science and logic is, like, your whole thing, but I think we're kind of past that," Leo scoffed. "It's obviously not holograms."

"Please stop doing that," the figure in front of them said, and Donatello scowled, reluctantly pulling his hand away from where it was doing passes back and forth through the hem of their robe. No one let him have any fun.

"Okay, so... these guys know us," Raph ventured, narrowing his eyes almost suspiciously. "Then... who are you?"

"We are the ancestors of the Hamato Clan," the figure spoke, pride filling his voice as he gestured to the many people filling the space, all draped in identical robes-- all sporting the same circular symbol. "Our spirits inhabit the sacred scrolls of our bloodline in order to offer guidance to those who remain on earth and bear our great destiny."

"Destiny?" Leo echoed, raising a brow. "Wait wait wait... So, you're, like... our grandparents."

"... No," the spirit said after a moment. "We're a little bit older than that."

"Okay, so, like, great-grandparents?"

"Hang on, what about this destiny stuff? What destiny?" Raph barked. "Look, this is all goin' a little fast! First, we find out that magic is, like, a thing, which I'm still sorta hung up on, and there's ghosts in Dad's closet, and now you're sayin' there's a Hamato destiny? 'Cause, uh, we're Hamatos, and no one ever filled us in on that!"

"Yes!" The spirit exclaimed, and the fog still filling the room seemed to lift with his voice, rising up to match his excitement as he swept his arms up. "The Hamatos are the bearers of a great duty to all of humanity-- it is the Hamatos alone that guard the safety of the earth against a great, ancient evil, and ensure it never rises to power again. As direct descendants of the bloodline, it is your divine purpose to--"

"Are we sure this isn't a movie prop?" Donnie stage-whispered to his siblings. "'Cause, like, this kind of sounds like the plot of a movie, right?"

"I mean, he's kinda got a point..."

"We are not movie props!!! This is an ancient tradition--"

"Okay, well, that's all well-and-good, very cool, uhm, love the special effects," Leo cut in. "And I'd love to discuss this great evil thing some more later, but can we maybe take a rain-check on that one? 'Cause we've kind of got a situation right now. Any chance you guys know where our dad is?"

The movie prop blinked slowly at them, keeping quiet for a moment. "... You want to rain-check your divine purpose?"

"Yeah. Can you maybe help us out in finding our dad first, and then we'll do all the rest of it? 'Cause it seems like humanity is doing, like, mostly fine? Except for maybe the part that posts on internet forums about reality TV. And, like, Republicans. But that's all obviously gonna be a huge undertaking to correct, and priority numero uno is our Daddy, please, so do you think you can, y'know... help us out?"

Mikey, Raph, Donnie, and April all nodded fervently.

"Your father has already fulfilled his purpose in producing heirs," the movie prop responded, their voice suddenly cold. "Though he may have rejected his duty, in continuing the bloodline, he has allowed the hope that the Hamato Clan brings to live on. It is now your great honor to take up the mantle and--"

"But where is he?" Mikey chirped. "He's missing."

"Okay, look, we are not exactly omniscient, we don't just know that kind of--"

"Then can you help us find him?" Raph pressed. 

"You are already years behind on training, your ninpo--"

“Our what-po?”

"We can talk about that after we find our Dad," Leo scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "We're not just gonna forget about him!"

"Traditionally, Hamatos are not raised by their parents, so it is not really--"

"What?!" Mikey wailed. "What kind of tradition is that? That's so sad!"

"It is a great sacrifice--"

“Sacrifice?” Mikey echoed shortly, his eyes widening.

"What do you mean sacrifice?" Raph demanded, moving closer to their youngest brother. “Sacrifice what!?”

"This is all starting to sound kind of fishy," April accused.

“How do we even know we can trust these guys?” Raph added in.

"Are you going to help us or not?" Leo cried.

"Is that why we don't have grandparents?!" Mikey whimpered.

"Hamato Yoshi can no longer be considered a priority for--"

Donnie dropped the scroll back into the chest and slapped the lid shut.

--

"Dad?"

"Yes, my son?" His father hummed, glancing down at his child, picking at stones on the ground at the bus stop. He had long given up trying to get his kids not to pick stuff up from off the street; so long as they didn't put anything in their mouths, he was content. 

"Are we challenging kids?" Leo questioned, glancing up at his dad with side eyes.

Their dad frowned a bit, pausing whatever show he was watching on his phone and pocketing it, leaning forward to rest on his knees and look at Leonardo properly. "What makes you ask something like that, Blue?"

"Uhm," Leo paused, frowning a bit and looking to the side. "Samantha's mom, uhm, she was saying to the other moms the other day, after swim practice, that we were, uh... That we were ‘challenging kids…’ And that 'you couldn't pay her to deal with what he does,' and also she said she would tear all her hair out."

His dad hummed thoughtfully, nodding as he listened to his son speak.

"First of all," he said. "Of course you are challenging! There is no such thing as a child who is not challenging. I promise you that Samantha will have all sorts of challenges in her lifetime! Children are not meant to be easy. Children are meant to be children. And there is nothing wrong with being challenged. It makes life exciting."

Leo wrinkled his nose. "Okay," he said. "... Do we have more challenges than other kids?"

His dad laughed aloud. "I do not know!" He said. "I have never tried to raise any other children but you four. Thank god. But I can tell you that you are no more challenging than I was as a child! That is for certain." 

Okay, that made Leo smile a tiny bit. 

"Second of all," his father continued. "Even if you were the most challenging children in all the world, I would still never trade being your father for anything. I did not become a parent and expect it to be easy! And there is not a single thing in all the universe that could convince me to give up even one of you."

"Not even the new plasma-screen TV that they have at Target? With the super super big screen? The one so big it curves?"

"No, not even the super big TV they have at Target," his dad laughed, ruffling Leo's hair. "And if raising you boys is challenging, it is the best challenge I could have ever asked for. I must be a very lucky man indeed."

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, quite sure.”

“Even when Donnie takes apart the remote controls?”

“Yes, even then.”

“And when Mikey puts paint in his pockets?”

“Yes, even when Mikey puts paint in his pockets.”

“And even when Raph and I fight over who gets to get on the subway first?”

“Yes, Blue.”

“And even when we tear the gutter off the roof ‘cause we were trying to climb up to the balcony?”

“Yes, even when-- wait, what!? When did you do that?!”

“Nothing. Nevermind. I love you too, Daddy!!!”

---

All five of them had been lying in various states of unrest or depression about their father's room for about ten minutes now.

"I can't believe there are magic spirits in your house, and they're all completely useless dickheads." April was the first to break the silence.

"I concur," Donnie muttered sourly, wrapping his arms around himself. "I'm going back to not believing in magic."

"How can they just write off Dad like that?" Mikey sighed deeply. "Because he has kids to carry on the ‘Hamato Destiny,’ he doesn't matter anymore!? What kind of a deal is that? And what even is the Hamato Destiny? They never said!"

"I dunno," Raph said, hunching his shoulders, staring up at the ceiling with a scowl. "But whatever it was, Raph didn't like the sound of it..."

He couldn't help but wish they hadn't opened that dumb box in the first place. 

All his life, he had been the biggest brother-- the brother who was the biggest. It was his job, obviously, to look after his little siblings and make sure everyone was safe. Sure, there was some leeway there, obviously. Letting Mikey dart out into traffic because he saw a dog on the other side of the street? Bad idea. Grab him. Letting Leo attempt to grind his skateboard down five flights of stairs with railings that weren't even connected? Also a bad idea, but would be really funny to watch, so we’ll let that one slide. He had been the biggest brother long enough to know this stuff! He knew what kind of stuff was actually dangerous and what wasn't, and what the best way to keep everyone safe was.

How was he supposed to protect them from this "Hamato Destiny" stuff when he had no idea what it was? And hadn't even thought that magic stuff was a thing until about twenty minutes ago? He had been pretty much sure, like most reasonable people above the age of nine, that magic was like, definitely not real. Now he was kind of feeling differently. 

He wasn't sure if he liked it.

Every time he thought about it, it made his skin crawl. What the hell was it that was creeping around in their own damn shadows? And how long had it been there with them none the wiser?! Was there danger inside the strands of their very own DNA? And how the hell do you protect someone from that?

"Do you think it's bad?" Mikey ventured, glancing up at Raph from where he sat on the floor, propped up against the side of the bed.

"Well it definitely didn't seem good," Raph huffed, tilting his head a bit so he could glance over at his little brother. "Blah blah blah, bare a great destiny, blah blah blah, guard against evil-- that don't exactly sound like a picnic! And why else would Dad skip out on his ‘duty’ or whatever? I mean, there's gotta be a reason he never told us about any of this!"

"You think that's why he never wanted to talk about his family?" April said, frowning a little.

"Well, from what they said, I'm not even sure if he actually knew his family. Apparently, Hamatos don't raise their own children," Donnie scoffed, crossing their arms over their chest. "So clearly he's already broken from tradition there."

Silence fell over them once more. Raph fidgeted uncomfortably in place. His stomach hurt, he noted dully.

"Should we try talking to them again?" Mikey suggested after a bit. Leo scoffed loudly.

"They didn't exactly seem excited to help us out, 'Angelo."

"Yeah but, I mean, maybe we can convince them!" Mikey argued. "They’re our family! And it's sort of the only lead we've got. I mean. Okay, so, there's a Hamato Destiny, and also, magic exists, I guess, and, uh, maybe some of us have it...? Which is super cool and all! But... I'm not sure how it's gonna help us find Dad."

Dammit. He had a point.

"... Do you think that guy in the mask was just, like... actually a goat man?" Donnie said after a second, and Leo all but gasped, sitting up sharply.

"Holy SHIT. I didn't even think about that!" He cried, clutching his own head. "But he probably is, right!? Instead of being a stalker fan or whatever? And that's how they disappeared? He's... like... a magic thing!"

"So new theory is that a goatman kidnapped Dad?" Raph ventured.

"Well, if there's magic goatmen or whatever other kinda creatures are kind of on the table, right?" April reasoned. "I mean, there are ghosts, I guess. So it'd make sense if there's other stuff too."

"Do you think there's unicorns?"

"Mikey, so not the priority right now."

"Right. Sorry!"

"Alright. So. To summarize. Goatman kidnapped our papa for unknown reasons, magic exists, allegedly, which I'm still not entirely sold on for the record--"

"Dude, you literally started glowing purple--"

"And also the Hamatos have a very rich and magical history, a divine destiny, and fucked up childhoods," Donnie continued. "... How do we make any of that work for us?"

Everyone quieted for a moment. It was a great question.

"... Research?" Leo suggested weakly.

"You all are going to make me deep-dive satyrs, aren't you," Donnie sighed very deeply, letting their head fall back down to the floor with a dull thump. "Right. I'll start on that. Mikey, you make friends with the Hamato ghosts."

[ next ]

[kouyou-arc-when]

Hey, this is a great ask and I am so sorry for not replying earlier. I am responding like this because I actually broke the character limit since I'm dumb -_- I've written a lot of posts about this on reddit, and many people came up to me and asked me something similar. Your line of thinking is good. Regarding Dazai:

So, the thing is - to properly diagnose any personality disorder, you need to talk to that very person to understand their inner mechanisms. There are certain behavioral traits we can observe from the outside and make some guesses based on that: for example, Dazai's broadly dented empathy and why that's often found in people with ASPD.

However, for many other personality disorders it is very difficult to conclude much without the person saying ~I feel x because of y. I do c because of b.

Why? Personality disorders are internal structures that cause a person's behavior to be challenging to either them or others. To understand these mental processes is much more demanding than seeing a person just feels sad or anxious, to explain it simplistic terms.

The key behind many disorders is to know WHY a person is doing what they're doing. This one thing changes whether a person has x,z,y,t,n or whatever condition.

An example: BPD and CPTSD are often mistaken for one another. Same as with BPD, CPTSD, Autism and ADD in women, but BPD and CPTSD tend to have the largest "overgap", you can even have both at the same time. That's because many of the outside observable symptoms are the same.

An example: unstable relationships are a symptom of ALL of the above, but BPD is sort of...an outdated PD according to many specialists due to the fact that it was used as an "everything" disorder, where people with socially unconventional emotions were dumped. That's why you'll find two people with BPD that are almost nothing alike.

However, even if we hold to classic diagnostic criteria, let me show how the same symptom can be a product of entirely different circumstances.

For example: Someone with BPD will have unstable relationships due to an extreme fear of abandonment. Someone with Autism may have unstable relationships due to differences in communication styles Someone with ADHD will have unstable relationships due to various circumstances: emotional regulation, executive functioning etc.

So really, the outward result may be the same, but the cause is different.

However, now, typically the main reason someone could have BPD is either due to extreme splitting, favorite person behavior, numbness and/or abandonment issues.

Dazai 100% has "favorite person" syndrome going on with Oda - the way he idealized Odasaku and then devalues everyone around him in comparison is pretty clinical - doesn't mean their relationship isn't lovely, but it's certainly something a therapist would take note of.

It's no shocker Dazai has unstable relationships, but we don't 100% know why he does what he does.

That's the whole thing Asagiri said - the character is meant to be like a donnut, where you don't really know what's in the middle - so it's extremely difficult to say which PD fits him for sure, probably even more difficult than the average neurodivergent character. In my opinion, several interpretations of Dazai are simultaneously valid due to the fact that you could assume multiple personal struggles within him, and come to a reasonable conclusion.

Does Dazai have abandonment issues? He says he always loses everything he wants, is EXTREMELY bitter over Ango, and definitely shows some levels of "splitting", especially in how he treats Oda vs Ango, Akutagawa vs Atsushi etc etc.

I'm pretty confident he has PTSD, and everything that comes with that. He certainly has a personality disorder too, due to the fact that a lot of his difficulties stem from his personality, and not just brain chemistry.

Kunikida says that most of his emotions "seem" like an act, which raises a lot of questions to what is even happening on the inside. Asagiri said Dazai is really only himself in front of people like Oda and Fyodor. That version of Dazai is...much less cheerful than with everyone else.

I don't personally think Dazai is autistic since he has a good hang on social cues and overall communication. Mamoru Miyano said PM Dazai was still learning to communicate with others back in his Dark Era days, but it wasn't that he couldn't do it - he was just not interested in learning it.

I feel like Asagiri gave Dazai this "unrealistic" trait of being primarily isolated because he's extraordinarily intelligent (which is not how geniuses tend to feel irl, most of the time) but I always feel like there is something more to it.

There is definitely some /disconnect/ between Dazai and "normal" people, where he doesn't fully seem to understand certain things, he falls short there. As someone who has CPTSD diagnosed, I get the impression he maybe has a similar thing going on as many of us: A extremely traumatic experience disrupted a lot of normal emotional and cognitive processes, and now he's both extremely hypervigilant and unable to snap out of that "shellshocked" state. He needs to "perform" conventionality, and being a normal person.

In one wan chapter, he "made a joke" that you start doing one bad thing after another, and suddenly you feel nothing at all. That's the trademark numbness in both CPTSD and BPD.

There was this TDIPUD moment where he talks about how a personality is just a bunch of unstable premises that survive to uphold the basic instincts of the human mind - but how it's easily destroyed for that reason. This is a scene where he tortures the guy, and I was like "wow, I really get it". Severe trauma can just destroy the very structure of your personality, because extreme pain just numbs everything within you. "You" as a person can't survive.

BPD is also related to an unstable sense of self - which could be connected to the former paragraph. Sometimes lowered empathy is also a byproduct of BPD, in fact, the thing is that both BPD and CPTSD come from trauma 99% of the time. They're shockingly similar disorders.

So, does Dazai have BPD? No idea. He could also be schizoid to some extent, which is funny, because Franz Kafka had this disorder, the author that inspired Asagiri's nickname.

For now, I'd just leave at he has CPTSD for sure

Most of these disorders are very broad descriptors, and it's difficult to label most humans in a way that will genuinely encompass what their experiences are. Most of the time, these diagnostics are used to match a person with the best treatment available, or to explain what they're going through - so I don't think there is a perfect diagnosis for Dazai aside from PTSD, but he's definitely extremely neurodivergent. Thanks for reading <3

[bunny-queen]

you can be you

hey babes, long post ahead

i've felt for a long time since entering the LOA community that there's a lot of pressure on everyone who knows how to conciously manifest

it seems like after you grasp that YOU are the creator of your reality and that YOU can do literally anything you want, almost everyone expects us to want 'big' things

by big i mean mansions, resort trips, a sports car, a new phone, a celebrity SP, being a public figure, being a millionaire... this kind of life

and although there's nothing wrong with living like that, or wanting to live like that, it's perfectly fine if it's not your dream life

edward art says in one of his reddit posts (remind me to link it here later) that if you somehow aren't manifesting X thing, it might be because......... it's not what you actually want

you may have convinced yourself that you SHOULD want that thing, but deep down, you feel indifferent towards it. you don't think about it a lot, you don't imagine yourself being happy with the thing, you don't lie in bed daydreaming about it. and eventually you realize it might not be coming into the 3D

this has definitely happened to me before. i had spent MONTHS affirming and listening to subliminals for my ideal face, but i had little to no results in the material world, and i could not for the life of me figure out what i was doing wrong

you guessed it: i wasn't doing anything wrong. but social media LOA comms had eventually convinced me that kpop idols are the epitome of beauty, and that any east asian should be manifesting to be a carbon copy. i saw that, thought 'hm, alright' and proceeded to frustrate myself endlessly trying to manifest something i didn't even want. a year later, here i am, realizing i like my current face better than any idol's out there, and that's why i didn't get results

and it happened yet again regarding my college applications and entrance exams. because people on this hellsite are constantly encouraging others to go directly to the end, i thought 'ah, i should manifest that i've ALREADY passed, then. that i don't even need to take the exam'

so i did it, i affirmed, i meditated, yadda yadda, and made myself MISERABLE. bc apparently i like to study, and i'm excited to take the exam! doing this way might not be the most straightfoward way, but it's what i want. i *want* this experience

long ass post but the moral of the story is that: just bc you know about the law, it doesn't mean you put on a show about your desires. you don't need to manifest 10 billion dollars just to show an imaginary audience that you can. just to post it on tumblr. you don't need to manifest a mansion in LA just bc that is the type of success story that gets the most likes

you're allowed to still want a quiet, simple life, even if you're God. you're allowed to not care about new phones, new clothes, and instead manifest more crochet yarn, and that the weather's good everyday. you're allowed to be happy with yourself and not want to lose/gain weight, change your height, your eye color, or any other features. you're allowed to want to be a normal college kid, and not a victorias secrets angel. it's okay to be you

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

I turn 18 next year and I’m not sure where I can get testosterone, I’ve looked at planned parenthood’s website but the only one in my state doesn’t offer hrt services 😭 do you have any advice on how to access hrt?

Lee says:

Happy (Very very) early birthday! If you're still a year away from being 18 you have plenty of time to figure this out.

You should start by talking to your primary care physician and ask if they are knowledgeable about gender-affirming care and are willing to prescribe you HRT themselves. If they are not experienced with HRT for gender-affirming reasons, ask them to look into it and refer you to a healthcare provider who is.

While you're waiting for your appointment (often it can be at least a month away even if you schedule the first available date) use that time wisely and go out into the world (And internet) and talk to people! There must be at least ONE other trans person in your state who is on hormones, right? You just have to find ONE other trans person in your state who is on hormones (and trust me-- there's more than just one trans person on hormones in your state! But all you need is one person), then find out where they're getting their prescription from!

Online platforms can be a great resource for shared experiences and advice so I'd just start by googling "transgender [insert hormone name] in [insert state]" until you find the right key terms. You might also be able to find something on Reddit or through Facebook groups.

Additionally, going to trans support groups and meeting people there and asking your trans friends to ask their friends, etc can all be a good way to find a provider through word-of-mouth.

Another thing you can try is contacting LGBTQ+ centers or organizations in your state and seeing if they have any recommendations. Even if Planned Parenthood's local branch doesn't offer HRT services, they may have a lists of trans-friendly healthcare providers or clinics that do, so it could still be worth reaching out to them.

If you're planning on attending college or university, check if the campus health center provides HRT or can refer you to local resources that do. Some college health centers offer comprehensive services for transgender students, but unfortunately most do not.

Many healthcare providers now offer telehealth services for transgender patients looking to start or continue HRT. These services can be particularly helpful if you live in an area with limited access to transgender healthcare. Providers like Folx Health, Plume, and QueerDoc offer gender-affirming care to patients in many states, all through telehealth platforms.

There's more info on starting hormones in this post, and you should take a look at that too.

Finally, I'm guessing that you don't have much experience with adulting which is fine because everyone starts somewhere! I was in the same position as you once. I also started to look into starting T when I was 17 and got everything ready (appointments scheduled for after my birthday, letter of support since it wasn't fully informed consent, lab work done the month before I was 18, etc), but didn't actually start hormones until I was 18.

Everyone has a different path through life, but this may be your first time scheduling doctor's appointments for yourself, signing up for a patient portal, getting your own health insurance (unless your parents support you being on HRT and wouldn't boot your off of their coverage), paying for appointment and prescription and lab work copays, etc.

Since you have a year until you're actually 18, it would be a good idea to start getting prepped for your first dive into the healthcare system as a legal-adult-even-if-it-doesn't-always-feel-that-way and google the basics of having and using health insurance. There's a lot of words you're going to need to learn one day (what's a deductible vs an out of pocket maximum vs an allowed amount etc) and this is as good of a time as any to start learning some of those basics (The advanced level is learning how to appeal denied claims, etc).

You got this anon! You're clearly on the right track by starting to investigate the process of starting HRT in advance, and remember that starting HRT as an adult also comes with adult responsibilities like figuring out how to pay for it! When you're thinking through the logistics of finding an in-network prescriber, don't forget to budget for those things too.

Followers, any tips for anon?

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

I have a couple questions. First, I have a story in mind about four neurodivergent queer teenagers facing their struggles and other conflict (it's very anime inspired and also inspired by Deltarune). 2 kids are autistic and the other 2 have ADHD, although I'm thinking about one of the kids with ADHD is also autistic. One of the characters also has PTSD. I'm mainly wondering if you have any sources about writing neurodivergent characters and writing about PTSD.

Secondly, your blog really helped me learned about autism and ADHD and made more convinced that I'm most likely autistic and that my parents yelled at in past (and present) because of my autistic traits. Do you have any good sources for parents (as well as me) to learn more about autism so that they won't have a stereotypical idea of what autism is like anymore and to convince them to get me diagnosed (since I'm a minor)

Thirdly, I have a question if struggling learning grammar of your mother language can related to autism? Because I kinda suck at grammar and when I try to learn grammar rules I don't really actually learn. ( I guess that my teachers in elementary in school didn't know how to teach). I also really want to write my story and possibly get it published eventually.

Lastly, in your profile it says that you like rocks and fossils, so what's your favorite rock/mineral? Because I also like rocks and fossils.

Hi there,

Question 1:

I think the concept of your story is very interesting (even if I haven’t played Deltarune). And when it comes to PTSD, it can affect both autism and ADHD. Neurodivergent Insights has some great Venn diagrams showing the similarities and differences between the two:

If you want, you can add some of your own traits or your friend’s to the characters, which might help some.

Question 2:

This is difficult to answer, as I don’t know you personally and haven’t seen your home life. But I have found some sources that could possibly help:

I found this Reddit post from r/autism that has some tips that could help too:

Hopefully these can help.

Question 3:

Since people learn things at vastly different rates, some may be very good with grammar and English (it was my favorite subject and I got an associate degree in it). While others may struggle. In one study I read, it said:

The first studies on grammar and autism, published in the early 1980s, suggested that syntax isn’t a particularly big problem for children with the disorder. This work found that children with autism learn grammar in the same way that typical children do, but at a slower rate, in line with their overall developmental delay.

Since then, a couple of studies have suggested the linguistic picture is much more nuanced. For example, one study showed that children with autism don’t use correct verb tenses. Another found that they produce less complex sentences than do typical children or those with developmental delays

The full article will be below:

In one other article I found, it stated:

Linguistic and cognitive abilities manifest huge heterogeneity in children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Some children present with commensurate language and cognitive abilities, while others show more variable patterns of development. Using spontaneous language samples, we investigate the presence and extent of grammatical language impairment in a heterogeneous sample of children with ASD. Findings from our sample suggest that children with ASD can be categorized into three meaningful subgroups: those with normal language, those with marked difficulty in grammatical production but relatively intact vocabulary, and those with more globally low language abilities. These findings support the use of sensitive assessment measures to evaluate language in autism, as well as the utility of within-disorder comparisons, in order to comprehensively define the various cognitive and linguistic phenotypes in this heterogeneous disorder.

The full article will be below if you’d like to read it too:

Question 4:

I have lots of rocks that I think are pretty cool. One of my favorite minerals is bismuth due to its cool properties. My favorite rock type is igneous because it’s a rock from a volcano/molten rock and it has its own properties too.

Anyway, I hope those answer your questions. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[crystallinestars]

OMG thank you so much for your response 😭 You always answer very kindly and in a detailed manner ahahah it is always fun to read your posts ! For rant, where to begin… I’m straight up typing this on a document so that it’ll be easier to organize gyahahah. I hope the readers do not see this as an assault on certain people, just an exchange of ideas 😁This is like 1250 words, enough for a uni essay, I feel that at some points it may be rather incoherent…

So I guess I will start with the shipping thing ! So when it comes to Kaveh ships, I see that it is like 99% with Alhaitham. I guess it is because of the way the game sets them up. Not only do they live under the same roof but iirc they have extensive voicelines about each other. I won’t deny that they play an important role in each other’s lives! Like back from their Akademiya days when they were still friends and collaborated with each other, and then when they had their falling out, and then Kaveh falls into financial ruin and inevitably ends up turning to his former friend for help (much to his own shame and chagrin). If they’ve known each other for this many years, it is natural that they would have many things to say about each other. 

However, I guess this also opens up the way for BL fans to interpret this in a romantic manner. Ofc they could feel free to ship as they’d like, but just taking into account the ones who are so insistent that any other ship must be wrong, I will detail the following… 

For people who have been in each other’s lives for a long time (I’m thinking 10+ years for these two), it isn’t out of the ordinary to talk about each other. I talk about the people in my close circle a fair amount, same with the people I know. It doesn’t need to imply a secret crush. And regarding their interactions, they often throw shade at each other. This is also interpreted in a romantic manner by many fans. If we look at this in a more positive light, I remember a guy player noting that their kind of interaction is similar to IRL male friendships. Guys dissing or making fun of each other with no deeper meaning to it. Bros being bros kind of thing. But if we look at it critically, I would say that a relationship where they’re arguing all the time… is not ideal. Like a commenter on Reddit said something that stood out to me, that Kaveh just looks so stressed when he’s interacting with Haitham. 😅 Looking at it from this angle, it makes it difficult to romance the two ahahah (not because of a “problematic” aspect but rather because it isn’t fun watching them just constantly arguing and Kaveh being miserable from this). 

To digress a bit, my ideal Kaveh ships would be either Kaveh+Lumine or Kaveh+Nilou. The former because Lumine in his hangout quest helps him a lot, like helping him deal with his past and with many of his issues. Also I like the idea of Kaveh accompanying Lumine during her travels, nice way to keep her company. 😁 And for KavehLou their romantic+artsy personalities and their shared cultural connection!!! I feel like Kaveh would legit treat Nilou like a goddess ahahah and Nilou would definitely cheer him up when he’s struggling, and both of them have super good vibes so it’s 💯 green flags all around. I also want to see them celebrate Nowruz together… ahahah. 

And this kind of ties into my next point that because of the whole shippy thing, Kaveh is rarely seen as his own character. This is evident when you look up his name on Twitter. Most of it will be him with Haitham; the fandom treats him like he is Haitham’s add-on. For comparison, when I look up my other fave Scaramouche/Wanderer, I actually get art of JUST him. Not with Kazuha, Childe, or even Lumine. Just straight up Scara. Kaveh doesn’t get this solo treatment because much of the fandom just sees him as an extension of Haitham. The thing is that Kaveh is one of the most human and relatable characters in the game: he wants to be a good person, yet he does struggle with having his own personality flaws. He has financial struggles that he’s barely clawing his way out of. If we disregard his genius and extraordinary academic record, I think most people could see themselves in him. In other words, I’d say that he is a very solid character. I think it’s about high time we give him his own chance to shine, without feeble scholar getting in his way ahahah (no shade to you, Alhaitham !). Let Kaveh be his own person!

And another point I would like to make, it is something that is of interest to me because it does involve different cultural perspectives. Kaveh is commonly interpreted as “feminine.” There is no shame in being a feminine man. However, the basis of this interpretation is 1) his appearance and 2) his expressive behavior. Regarding his appearance, I think it is because he styles himself in a particular manner that people automatically assume he is “___-coded.” To address this, I’ve seen Iranian Genshin players explain that historically, it wasn’t uncommon for Iranian men to wear jewelry, dress flamboyantly, and enjoy the fine arts. But to outsiders’ eyes, doing these makes him “less of a man.” It is like how some male k-pop idols are seen as “girly” or even “gay” by many in the West, but for women in many east+southeast Asian societies they are perfectly acceptable men. Just that when they see him as “feminine” it often verges into fetishization territory… I’ll try not to play pixel activism here, but ngl it gets really gross and weird at times. A few weeks ago I had the misfortune of laying my eyes upon a Haitham+Kaveh fanart where Kaveh was basically (sorry for the description in advance) Haitham’s belly dancer/slave?? Of course fanartists have the freedom to draw whatever they want but this image was pretty much a symptom of how the fandom views Kaveh. 🙁 Even one of the well-known Iranian Genshin enjoyers called this out as fetishistic and orientalist (the latter term is often thrown around with regard to Sumeru, but I think that this instance actually warranted its use). 

In addition to his appearance, Kaveh is a very emotionally expressive man. He wears his heart on his sleeve. Because of this, this further contributes to fans thinking of him as “girly.” So I guess men aren’t “real men” if they are open with their emotions, if we go by the logic of the fandom? Haitham and other characters seen as “masculine” e.g. Diluc and Childe are given the “masculine” treatment because they demonstrate far more restraint with their emotions, while Kaveh gets the “uwu I’m a lil bbygirl in need of saving” treatment simply because he doesn’t hold back when it comes to his feelings. So from this there’s like so much stuff of him as “ohhh submissive prettyboy 🥺🥺🥺” instead of taking into account other aspects of his personality, like he could actually be assertive especially when dealing with annoying clients. It does him a true disservice…

I feel that I’m missing many more points that I’ve considered before, if I ever remember them I will probably send them in… I hope it does not come off as some sort of crusade call, but rather just an outpouring of thoughts. And hopefully this is a decently entertaining read ^^;;;;

WELCOME BACK!!! I have been waiting for your lovely essay on how Kaveh gets done dirty by the fandom, and it made me so happy to see you and I share a lot of opinions in common on this! (That's a lot of text though. I don't mind the length at all, but I'm surprised the word limit let you hahaha)

To your amazing analysis, I respond to you with an essay of my own.

I completely agree with your points that people who have known each other for a long time would naturally have a lot to say about each other. Even if they haven't known each other for long, when people live in close quarters together, they definitely have things to say about one another, especially negative ones. The bickering Kaveh and Alhaitham have is expected since they're roommates, and on top of that, roommates that had a falling out as friends. Their relationship is a bit strained since neither wants to admit they were wrong in the past due to their pride.

I work 5 days a week with a coworker of mine, and I have a lot to say about her because we work closely together. Does that mean I'm romantically attracted to her? No, not at all. Quite the opposite. Unfortunately, this logic doesn't apply to fiction quite so easily, and I'll cover why in a bit.

The point about them acting like real-life guy friends is also very true, although I think their relationship fits a sitcom more closely. I know someone who said Kaveh and Haitham's relationship reminds them of Leonard and Sheldon's from The Big Bang Theory. Two guys living together, constantly bickering and throwing shade, but caring about one another deep down.

Lord, I can write a whole separate essay on why I think Kaveh and Alhaitham don't work as a romantic couple, but I won't do that here. This post is already gonna be long. Maybe another time.

However, I do want to say that while you make excellent points on how Kaveh and Haitham's relationship isn't inherently romantic, there is a very big BUT to all this. And that's Mihoyo.

As an anime game developer, Mihoyo knows all about the anime community. After all, the founders were all otakus, they know what kind of audience they have. They know what is popular, and what's popular is BL. There is not a single excuse anyone can give me that can convince me otherwise that Mihoyo didn't know exactly what they were doing when they wrote Kaveh and Haitham to be roommates. They didn't have to write them to live together. They didn't have to write all the extra dialogue where they mention each other. They didn't have to do the matching key idles, the references to the other in their birthdays, or introduce Kaveh through Alhaitham TWICE. They knew how their audience will interpret their dynamic, they had the option to structure it differently, but they still went through with it. It was deliberate.

Kaveh was introduced with Haitham, and ever since, they have consistently been shown together. It's as if they are literally glued to each other. Can't go a single birthday, event, quest, or otherwise without the other being present in some way. It is all intentional. Their interactions and cameos carry intent behind them that shippers pick up on, and that intent is to appeal to their group. So while it's erroneous to claim that Kaveh and Haitham are canonically in a romantic relationship the way a lot of toxic shippers are doing, there is a good reason why they think so. Mihoyo is actively encouraging this mindset by not allowing either character to shine on their own, but rather as a pair because they know this appeals to a subsection of their fanbase, and a large one at that.

As for your Kaveh ships, I agree 100%! Lumine is a good choice for sure (I say this as a kavelumi shipper *gets shot*), and while I don't ship it, I understand the reasoning behind Kavelou, and think it's cute. Nilou would be a really good influence on Kaveh. He always laments about how nobody understands his passion for the arts, but Nilou would. They're both artists that are trying to eke their own path in a society that doesn't appreciate art. Nilou, as you mentioned, would cheer him up, and I think Kaveh would also find peace of mind through her dancing. Kaveh needs someone optimistic and kind like Nilou.

While we're on the topic of Kaveh ships, I would also like to suggest my own that I really like. Kaveh x Candace. Please don't shoot me. Candace is strict and no-nonsense, so she wouldn't let Kaveh get away with constantly self-sabotaging himself. And unlike Haitham, she is gentle and almost motherly, so she'd be more successful in getting through to Kaveh and soothing him. Or so I like to think. Kaveh would also help her see the outside world more, maybe have her accompany him through the desert and show her beautiful sights she'd never see by staying cooped up in her village. Plus, he's literally helping to construct a library for her village! There is so much potential for them to bond over Aaru village yet Hoyo keeps pushing the same relationships, I am so tired-

But of course, for me, the best ship of all will forever be Kaveh x You/Reader. On my blog, every guy I write for loves you, and only you. Please don't kill me.

Carrying on, you are right in that Kaveh isn't seen as his own person. You'd be hard-pressed to find (popular) art of him that doesn't imply Haitham in there somewhere. Is it so surprising, though, when even the game developer treats them as a package deal?

I feel you, it's a pity. Kaveh's character is very complex and one of the most realistic. When I read his backstory, I couldn't help but think as if someone in Mihoyo put a part of themselves in his character. The struggles he goes through are realistic, painfully so, even. I've also seen lots of artists say they relate to Kaveh. He has so much to explore about him, but I fear that outside of the Darshan event and his hangout, we'll never get to see more.

Okay, so. I have mentioned before on this blog how I am annoyed at how Kaveh is viewed as feminine and submissive due to his appearance and emotional nature. You've already touched on all the points, so excuse me for sounding like a broken record, but I have A LOT to say about this.

There is nothing wrong with being feminine. There is nothing wrong with being a feminine man. What is wrong, however, is associating femininity with submission.

Kaveh has traits that are often associated with femininity, which, as you pointed out, are his neat and pretty looks and emotional expressiveness (the bit about Iranian men traditionally wearing jewelry is super interesting, btw. I didn't know, so this was enlightening!). To this, I also want to add that lots of people think he acts like a nagging wife with Alhaitham. That's basically all it takes for people to slap him with the "feminine" label, and treat him as if he's a submissive, blushy, uwu bbgurl I want to delete this term from existence

I know that men the West views as "feminine/girly" are often popular among women in Asia, and it really just comes down to culture and a matter of taste. I share their taste in men because I also find K-Pop idols and smooth-faced, slim anime guys more attractive than muscular and rugged men, and by no means do I think they're girly. But alas, each culture has expectations for how men and women are supposed to look and act, and it's led to more harm than good.

It's also unfortunate that Kaveh gets compared to Alhaitham a lot. Alhaitham is what one would call traditionally masculine. Muscular, stoic, reserved, aloof, etc... But especially the muscular part. Kaveh isn't muscular, and as we saw in the Darshan event, isn't athletic. This difference in physique is also a reason people call him feminine. I saw someone say (in a shipping context) that they prefer Kaveh to be submissive because Alhaitham is taller and bigger than him. Nothing wrong with wanting a sub Kaveh, but I find this reasoning very flawed. Fetishistic, if you will.

And yes, the "one man is a dom/top while the other is a sub/bottom" mentality follows a lot of BL ships. People literally fight with each other over who they believe should be the top or bottom. There are even specific emojis for it. Don't know why people are so hung up about who tops or who bottoms, but what do I know. I don't understand the appeal of BL at all 🫤

Gosh, I'm sorry you had to see that belly dancer art... I once saw a ship art where Kaveh wore a wedding dress while Haitham wore a suit. It wasn't a silly context, either, but a serious and romantic one. I really dislike seeing art of Kaveh being feminine or acting submissive because that's not him at all.

Please look at this official art. Look at how Kaveh casually stuffs his hand in his pocket, at how he sits with his legs spread wide without a care in the world, at how he slings Mehrak over his shoulder. Look at how confidently and casually he carries himself. His body language screams "masculine".

Kaveh is confident, prideful, assertive, bold... I could go on. These are also traits usually associated with men. I mean, look at how he talks about one of his seniors in his hangout!

He's got quite the mouth and a temper.

He's not shy, far from it, actually. He's not submissive. He's not a dainty damsel in distress than needs someone stronger to help him, because in actuality, he's resourceful and intelligent.

Kaveh is self-assured in his masculinity. Sure, he's not a big, buff man, and he wears his heart on his sleeve, but that doesn't make him less of a man or weak. Maybe physically a bit, but I don't think he's below average in terms of strength. He makes up for it with his smarts and invents things to circumvent his shortcomings. This part of him gets overlooked, because he gets compared to Alhaitham. It doesn't help that the two are always seen together lately.

In my humble opinion, Kaveh is more of a dom than Alhaitham will ever be. Haitham gives me vibes of being someone who's too lazy to put in the work in bed, so he'd rather lie back and let his partner lead. Meanwhile, Kaveh isn't afraid to go after what he wants, and will pamper his partner.

In conclusion, you are very right about everything. If Mihoyo wasn't purposely throwing ship crumbs at every opportunity, then Kaveh potentially wouldn't have had his character assassinated by the fandom. Every character gets mischaracterized to some degree (I weep for Childe), but unlike most, Kaveh's mischaracterization is largely in part due to shipping.

Apologies for the massive tangent. I had a lot of fun reading your analysis and mentally screaming "YES! YES! SHE GETS IT! I'm not the only one!", so thank you for sending this in. Don't worry, it was very well put-together, probably better than my rambling. I found out some new points, and had a few of mine validated, so feel free to send another essay if you think of more things. I love deep and thoughtful discussions like these haha!

[bangtthedoldrums]

life update?

July is almost over, i think these days i'm seeing glimpses of light at the end of the 27 tunnel. why am i writing all these on tumblr, you may wonder? i'm attention-seeking, i seek attention, i fear.

(let's bffr, whose attention am i seeking when i literally have <5 followers here haha, what a melodramatic bitch)

these days i'm feeling relatively stable. i'm laughing a lot, i'm smiling a lot. i mean i was already starting to, then the whole Kamala effect kicked off and i find myself laughing at dumbass things - nothing's ever that serious lol

the astrology people on twitter were not kidding about Saturn's return. 27 has been so fucking difficult, i can see why Club 27 even exists in the first place.

i wouldn't say i was "fighting" the last few months, "fighting" to stay alive? nah. some of my friends know i'm absolutely not "fighting" in any way. i'm glad i hung around i guess?

Sufjan, you're undeniably talking to yourself in this track. i would like to answer your question if that's okay. i probably wouldn't a few months ago, but yes, now i do care if i survive this.

oh god it's finally happening i guess. the time to get over a relationship is half the time it lasted. the timeline fits i guess.

"I'm frightened of the end, I'm drowning in my self-defense" and "Think of me as what you will, I grow like a cancer" sound about right.

"Did I cross you? Did I fail to believe in positive thoughts? Our romantic second chance is dead, I buried it with the hatchet"

"If I get a little prettier, can I be your baby? You tell me, 'Life isn't that hard' " yeah. sounds about right.

the season of pain and hopelessness has passed, and with resignation and acceptance comes revelation. and that revelation is that it's over.

okay. enough about that for now. please allow me to ramble on about things that have been in my head the last few days (or last few months haha).

the first thing - i'm not sure if i'm delulu or what, but please go with me here. these days i stare into the mirror, and my face looks like it's in the process of chiseling itself out. i can see my cheekbones. my cheeks look hollower. (but that could be an illusion? from the shadow of the temple of my glasses casted on my cheeks.)

i don't know if that is part of ageing. or if i lost weight. or if i'm sick. i feel fine though. but i would not be surprised if i secretly had lung cancer all these time from all those years of cigarettes smoking, and now vaping. who knows! i look hot so whatever.

the second thing - i've been listening to chappell roan a lot the last few months, just about the time i noped out of social media lol.

i've been returning to my punk/alternative/rock roots lately. i have too much pent-up rage lately methinks. rage from grief, rage from injustice, rage from.......... actually these two are mainly it. i can't really think of anything right now.

the third thing - penn badgley is so hot. haha. as a sapphic (mostly) no man has ever made me feel anything except penn badgley. not that joe goldberg persona though, it's dan humphrey and woodchuck todd. okay fine, there were. but i would like to mention penn badgley for now 😀

the fourth thing - i've been feeling a lot more social lately. being social online helps. talking to people helps. making plans with friends whom i love, trust, and respect helps.

i wonder if i wasted all these time isolating myself. maybe i'd be better quicker. or i'd lash out for no good reason. we'll never know. i guess it also helps when the trigger of my fight or flight isn't living down the hallway anymore?

the fifth thing - i find myself funny again. not like "i'm insulting someone for shits and giggles" funny. like i could make jokes again. like my humour is back. i scrolled through my reddit account a few days back and i don't even remember most of the comments i've made with that account. i used to be so funny and quick-witted. it's all coming back slowly so i'm glad 😄

okay folks, that's all for now. i've disappeared for a while but i'm back. thank you for your patience and understanding.

27's almost over. i don't know if i "can't wait for it to be over." i don't really feel anything about getting older. i'm literally still a baby when it comes to my prefrontal cortex. or a toddler if you're particular. i guess anything can still happen from now till September, the universe's always listening !!! 😀

why the tell-all now, girl? who knows! maybe i wna start documenting stuff again. i don't remember things from the last 8 to 9 months. with everything else that went on in my head i'm surprised that i lasted this long.

maybe i wna be honest.

"Come one, come all, I'll tell you my secrets. I'm kinda like a prettier Jesus"

this must be what Lorde feels when she wrote Solar Power

[ladymorghul]

The marketing tactics for season 2 is ridiculous. I get it, they pander to the majority of the fanbase and that majority is TB, but why increase the level of toxicity in this already extremely toxic fandom? Everything for the money, I guess.

And I find it funny that in the recent promotion material the TB actors, especially Corlys, Rhaenys and Daemon, are literally talking shit about TG, like, "we are better looking", "we are better people" , "the greens hate each other, and we are united" the cringe "we are the thoroughbred" by Matt... The actress who plays Rhaenys literally called TG characters a bunch of knobs lmfao. And all TG actors are allowed to say in their favour are things like "we have bigger dragons"😒. And where are Otto and Helaena? Rhaena is there, but no Helaena? Anyway, this could be seen as the actors simply having fun and making references to the "arguments" used by Twitter and Reddit fans, but given the recent reactions, they failed to pass the message. Or the writing got to the actors, too. Idk, I may be overthinking this, but I'm not even looking forward to this show anymore and have a bad feeling regarding s2. I think that the green fans who still fully believe that TG characters and storylines will be done better in the next season are set up for a big disappointment.

yeah, i saw the new promo thing... i felt it was a bit cringe but what bothered me was "we are better looking" and "we are the thoroughbreds".

the first one is such a bad taste comment and instant sideeye, especially considering that even actors must have heard about the gross ass hate that tg actors, esp olivia and emily, have gotten, and the second one is just dumb considering rhaenyra's children and mother.

and not to be the bearer of bad news because i already knew this, but there will never be much green promo from green actors. tgc has always shared tb stuff along with tg stuff and seems relatively uncomfortable with greens from a morality pov imo, and olivia mostly just does rhaenicent promo and that's about it.

i think the only person who had actually tried to get the green fandom a little pumped up in the past was ewan but there was not much to work with considering the lack of interest from the production.

tbh i'm currently in a very much idgaf phase so i'm like meh. i invested too much energy in this toxic fandom and ultimately none of this matters.

i will probably get back into it as we approach s2 but honestly people should accept this show IS good guys vs bad guys and IS rhaenicent centric and all the talk from the writers or actors is silly when we see the actual product on the screen.

waiting for dunk and egg though. hopefully we can move away from team discourse for a while.

[sirianasims]

What is your single best piece of writing advice?

Ouch, starting 2024 out swinging there 😂

My best writing advice that is actually my own is:

Only Story

This is the phrase I keep saying to my writer friend to the point where I may get a tattoo of it some day, and the one that guides me home when I get lost.

Only Story is a way to focus my ADHD ass on what is important and keep writing.

Only Story means focus on storytelling. To me, at least, the narrative is the core. Humans are natural storytellers, it’s how we communicate. Style, language, writing skill and so on are important, but secondary. Don’t worry too much about it. Just tell your story and the rest will follow. You will get better at telling stories over time, and then you can eventually trust fall into it.

Only Story helps me pull back from obsessing over or endlessly adding irrelevant details. Strip away anything that doesn’t serve the story. This doesn’t mean that you can never add things unless they advance the plot or develop a character, but it helps to reduce clutter. By all means, add that superfluous side plot if you want to, but make it a conscious decision. 

Only Story is how I get back to writing whenever I start second-guessing myself and worry too much about whether I'm good enough, whether I can even call myself a writer, whether anyone will ever care. It helps me reaffirm my purpose - to tell the story. I don't write to get followers or likes, although feedback is always hugely appreciated, but I write because I have stories to tell.

Only Story also reminds me to keep writing, because that is the only way I'll become a better writer. Every time I write a story, I get better at writing a story. The story may not be perfect, but it will be a story. And so will the next one.

Go write it.

You said single, but I am all about handing out bonus content so you get this as well; Dan Harmon's take on writer's block from an AMA on Reddit.

My best advice about writer's block is: the reason you're having a hard time writing is because of a conflict between the GOAL of writing well and the FEAR of writing badly. By default, our instinct is to conquer the fear, but our feelings are much, much, less within our control than the goals we set, and since it's the conflict BETWEEN the two forces blocking you, if you simply change your goal from "writing well" to "writing badly," you will be a veritable fucking fountain of material, because guess what, man, we don't like to admit it, because we're raised to think lack of confidence is synonymous with paralysis, but, let's just be honest with ourselves and each other: we can only hope to be good writers. We can only ever hope and wish that will ever happen, that's a bird in the bush. The one in the hand is: we suck. We are terrified we suck, and that terror is oppressive and pervasive because we can VERY WELL see the possibility that we suck. We are well acquainted with it. We know how we suck like the backs of our shitty, untalented hands. We could write a fucking book on how bad a book would be if we just wrote one instead of sitting at a desk scratching our dumb heads trying to figure out how, by some miracle, the next thing we type is going to be brilliant. It isn't going to be brilliant. You stink. Prove it. It will go faster. And then, after you write something incredibly shitty in about six hours, it's no problem making it better in passes, because in addition to being absolutely untalented, you are also a mean, petty CRITIC. You know how you suck and you know how everything sucks and when you see something that sucks, you know exactly how to fix it, because you're an asshole. So that is my advice about getting unblocked. Switch from team "I will one day write something good" to team "I have no choice but to write a piece of shit" and then take off your "bad writer" hat and replace it with a "petty critic" hat and go to town on that poor hack's draft and that's your second draft. Fifteen drafts later, or whenever someone paying you starts yelling at you, who knows, maybe the piece of shit will be good enough or maybe everyone in the world will turn out to be so hopelessly stupid that they think bad things are good and in any case, you get to spend so much less time at a keyboard[...] Happy hunting and pecking!

[1yyyyyy1]

what do you think about poly? i hate it because i don't think its possible to actually be in love with 2 people without pair bonding more with one, or value someone while having sex with someone else. i feel like it's a cover for how shitty men and some women are at commitment. a part of me believes men don't feel true love or intimacy, but admitting that only makes me feel like i'm validating them when they say they can't commit and it's "unrealistic" but it's really just being a good partner.

I like not to think about it :) Everything I've learned about polygamy has been against my will… I distinctly remember a male on Reddit describe his experience with polygamy, in which he spoke about having a "polygamous mindset" for a lack of a better word. He was in a committed relationship with a monogamous woman and chose monogamy because he liked her as a person (I'm guessing polygamy was a hard boundary for her). He said that, aside from the pull to be with multiple people, him being polygamous meant that he was genuinely happy with his partner seeing (and sleeping with) other people and enjoying it; it didn't sound like he was describing a fetish and it was in general different from the idea of polygamy I previously had in mind. It stood out to me because he was mostly talking about his attitude towards his girlfriend partnering others and not his personal gain, so I could see how it could be a mutual dynamic between compatible partners. This kind of changed my opinion on what polygamy could be like if it involved emotionally mature and self-aware people, even if didn't make me understand the appeal any better.

Generally speaking, I don't have a strong opinion on polygamy (or polyamory) because I prefer to concern myself with the things that are for me. I can imagine polygamy working out for people, even if only within the confines of a thought experiment, so I'm not going to dismiss it on the premise that it is inherently dysfunctional. I'm not going to dismiss it in favor of monogamy either because I don't view monogamy as a sign of adjustment. Some people are into monogamy because they are obsessive and controlling, and monogamous partnerships are still notorious for cheating and turning into an "open relationship". I'm less and less inclined to be picking a side as people always seem to find a way to pervert whatever it is I would be supportive of... It is possible to stand up for your preferences without disparaging the other option — and risking being wrong in the process. The reason I would only ever consider monogamy is very simple — I don't like sharing my life on a profoundly personal level with multiple people. My overall personality traits coincide in a way that makes this unfeasible for me. I am very private about my life experiences and I would not share them with someone who is not fully invested. I also see relationships as a learning experience, and since I like getting to the bottom of things I would be genuinely distressed if me getting closer with someone were diluted by some other person's contribution. This may sound like a self-absorbed approach to something as reciprocal as a relationship, but laying down the precise terms on which you enter one makes it impossible for people to sway your opinion in a direction that doesn't benefit you. It doesn't matter to me if my standards are framed as "a desire for ownership" or "controlling", which are all common accusations made against monogamy. The point is that I would never consent to a relationship (let alone sexual contact) with a person who is not willing to match my commitment and views on privacy, it would violate my personal boundaries and I am better off not entering a relationship altogether until my conditions are met.

I would argue that there is an issue with commitment on people's part, but I would attribute it to something other than a specific relationship model. What I see is that most relationships are formed out of convenience, and revolve around reproduction, shared finances and sexual gratification. The reason I believe this results in commitment issues is because these are all non-specific traits most functional adults can perform and provide. There is not much ground for personalized bonding, and this approach can result in indecisiveness about which partner to commit to (if at all). This, of course, can also lead to multiple partners being a valid option at the cost of them being entirely replaceable... To answer the question the second time — I do think that relationships that involve multiple people can be a sign of poor commitment and superficial bonding.

As for men's inability to love, I don't see acknowledgement as endorsement and I don't understand why it is such a common notion. My negative assessment of people is there for me to have an understanding of what I am dealing with, not to validate said people. In acknowledging that men are incapable of commitment, I choose to allocate my efforts to someplace else because attempting to change a person's behavior is a waste of my time. I don't feel responsible for men's stance on faithfulness; I believe them to be capable enough to live in accordance with their convictions regardless of outside influence. I know for a fact that no amount of external validation would make me cheat on my partner, so it is not a stretch to extend these expectations to other people, including men.

[olderthannetfic]

I've been scrolling through Twitter to check the End Racism thing hashtag because I found out about it literally after it ended (and because I saw one post on Reddit).

Anyways, one of the first tweets that I saw was about one of the main members (?) I guess (?) of this movement complain that the OTW immediately addressed fics written by AI and how authors could stop AIs from harvesting their works, but had completely ignored the End Racism protest (or whatever it was supposed to be).

And... yes? As another anon mentioned here, they didn't even cause the water to ripple: a little over 5000 fics would be impressive if it were the writing event organized by a fandom Discord, but when it's supposed to be an at large protest encompassing multiple socials and hitting all fandoms, it's nothing. Not to mention that, of those 5000 fics with "End OTW Racism" put into the title, a lot of them seem to just be authors who added it to stories they had previously published.

Considering the numbers they provided (I think the "main" head of this said it was around 5400 works, about a quarter of them being podfics too, so... not original works), I would guess that less than 5k people actually participated and did something concrete to support the cause.

I may be stupid, but I really don't think that less than 5k people (and this is not to take away the work they did, I'm just saying that this is presented as being a massive event when, looking at the numbers, it was very few people) is enough for the OTW people to say "Oh, people are really worried about this issue."

On top of this, their idea on how to fix the issue is just... really dumb? They want to hire diversity readers that will check if works are racist, which is already silly, but don't give any idea of how many these sensitivity readers need to be, where they need to come from, how much stuff they will be required to read in a single day. Like... how many black people are going to be hired? Would there be different teams based on the country they come from? Because racism in the UK, for example, isn't the same as racism in the US. Would there be hired members for every Native tribe too? And what about continents such as Asia, Europe, and Africa? They can be lumped into the Asian, white, and black racial categories, but there's a lot of diversity there. Someone from Ghana cannot say if a story about Algerian characters is respectful towards them. Not to mention the diversity within single countries (India and China come to mind).

They presented a bunch of nonsensical fluff and then got mad that they got ignored. If I were part of the OTW, I would've ignored them too, tbh. It feels like watching those exhausted parents whose toddler is throwing a tantrum, and they just lay on the couch saying "Yeah, don't worry. They'll tire themselves out and get a good night's sleep."

--

I don't think they were actually suggesting sensitivity readers but rather the type of diversity consultant that looks at workplace issues.

But yes, a lot of participants added that title to around 10 works, and sometimes far more.

[doubledoublezero]

I wrote this on Reddit, but maybe here is good too:

I may be poly.

So my (32M) last break up took me much longer than I originally thought it would mostly because I never allowed myself to fully process it. My ex partner (29M) recently had a long conversation about everything where I gained more clarity on both of us and how to move forward.

When I kept seeing him and his new partner, I was devastated. I came to terms that the reason why was because I was afraid of losing him. Our relationship was perfect and we love each other so much, however, ended due to distance. We both live in different countries and he felt it was un-equivalent if I am able to afford to visit him more often than he could and that I can get my affairs in order to move down to live with him. As he put it, If I moved to him, he would want to give me the house. And that's just where he feels he is. He wants to be able to give me what he feels I deserve and currently, he doesn't feel we're at an equal point in our lives.

Before it ended, my partner suggested that he may be polyamorous because of how he loves. He is able to love different people in different ways and says its like he offers a part of his heart to everyone he's with. I never understood why he was so able to go from one partner to the next, but this helped gain clarity after our breakup. He also told me more about his new partner. His partner knows about our feelings for each other and empathizes with me and is also afraid of something out of his control coming in the way of the relationship. To be honest, I really like him for him. Coming from a traditionally monogamous mindset in the past, at first seeing them together just made me emotional. I hated seeing my partner happy with someone else doing the things that I wanted to do with him. But after our talk, its no longer the case. I actually like seeing them together and I'm legitimately happy for them, though still jealous a bit obviously.

At first in our conversation, he wanted to find a way for us to keep each other in our lives. We agreed we can never be friends and we will be something more to each other always. He wants me to move on and go on with my life while still being part of it in some way (which I also want too), but after realizing that I will always want to be with him in some way or another romantically, he decided a break might be needed. Granted I originally suggested no contact when we first broke up, but he never followed through. Now after I gained clarity and am now more open to his relationship is when he suggests no contact...the irony lol. But I do agree space is needed to plan what we want next for each other.

Now when he first told me he might be polyamorous in the past, I was at first taken a back but also was the ones doing research for him to find out more about it. He said a triad lifestyle makes sense for him. We never got to discuss it more because we broke up and originally we were in an open relationship already due to distance, but honestly I was open to trying it. And before I just didn't want to know what he did with his sexual partners while we were together due to jealousy, I guess my own ego, and the fear of losing him, but after he assured me his love for me and we really got to talk about everything I am really accepting of all of it.

The last message I sent to him was to tell his partner I wanted to thank him for the kindness and empathy and that I do support their relationship. I am happy that the man I love gets to be loved the way he deserves from someone worthy. Its been a few days since we agreed to not speak for a while to reevaluate, but during that time if I'm being honest I actually would've wanted us all to date...Why couldn't I keep a romantic relationship with a man I love more than anything while he gets to date someone who can love him in a way I can't? Why can't we share the love? Even when we were open just the two of us, I wouldn't have minded him dating and I would do the same. He's afraid that my love for him would keep me from moving on, but truthfully I would be ok loving him and also loving someone else. Unfortunately because of no contact I haven't had the chance to talk any of this out with him. I'm focusing on myself now, but also eagerly wanting to explain this to him. I'm not sure where his current relationship lies in terms with how open it is, so I also know I have to take that into account.

And I also realized that I have experienced a similar situation in the past. My last ex before him was with me for 2 years. We weren't the most compatible and monogamous, but I now know that ended up being one of the reasons of our break up. We took space for a year and were reunited around the time I started dating my most recent partner. We agreed to be friends and would regularly hang out, but I think because I had needs being fulfilled by my current partner, I saw him a bit differently. We admitted that our friendship was also more than that as well and we still had a love for each other. I would be lying to say that even though I know we don't work in a traditional relationship, I don't still have strong romantic feelings for him. I first was confused because how could I have feelings for him while still having feelings for my other ex partner as well? This realization helped me process that I too am able to love multiple people I form a deep connection with. I feel that the limitations of monogamy is really what got in the way of each of these relationships. In an ideal scenario, I would love a romantic relationship with both while both are able to explore new romantic relationships as well, but I know that comes with a lot of discussion. And even in new relationships going forward, I would like to explore that as well. I know my most recent partner wants to give space so his love doesn't hold me back from finding something new...but I have realized that isn't the case. If he was willing, I really would prefer to do/have both.

After everything that was discussed and exploring my feelings i realized that I really am a non-monogamous person. I was coming to the terms that I don't want a traditional relationship going forward (meaning just an open relationship for sexual reasons), but now I understand that I might want to explore having different variations of romantic partners if all parties are willing. I think going through my break up outside of a monogamous perspective really helped me process it better and I wish I realized this sooner. I want to be open and honest with my most recent partner when we are ready to speak again (though I will admit I am fighting the urge to just message him but will hold off out of respect), and I want to explore this idea with my other ex partner as well. This experience made me realize that I can still love someone deeply while still forming new love which has been life changing :)

Can anyone relate? Since this is all new to me, any tips and advice is appreciated

[ggren-mainz]

Umineko - question arcs playthrough -> ep 1 - 11

last part - All parts and episodes - next part

Things are getting worse and worse

she's been telling y'all who the culprit was all along, y'all just don't want to listen.

Also I was looking on reddit at memes and one umineko one was like making fun of people who assume the answer arc will answer shit and that they finished ep 8 and still didn't know the culprit like ....that can.,,happen? God no wait i gotta lock in huh?? no more 'NONBELIVERS"???? well i think for now it's ok since i sincerely doubt you can solve anything with half of ch1 only, but still.... Ig ill have to think *disolves into a puddle and dies*

Wouldn't Kinzo's room be the closest to a safe one? I mean i remember them saying that only Genji had the key to his room, and in rest it's all done with an automated system.

Am i smart or am i smart ? (I think i'll become the queen of pointing out the obvious atp.)

Sooo true, save this here to keep it in mind, but yeah while something may seem like the most logical answer for the opponent, they might've not done it because perhaps they haven't thought of it. Variables variables...

they all go to hide in Kinzo's room, and at the entrance, Maria says how the door is built to not let magical entities in, having the same symbol drawn on it as the charms she gave to Jessica and Battler. So Beatrice couldn't have entered this room with her magic, and instead the theory that Kinzo left it of his own accord is probably right. That or Eva was right about Natsuhi or she lied about the receipt OR a secret door exists.

oookay this changes things quite a lot. Basically, he said that Beatrice existed but she died. So does this suddenly turn into a ghost story? No i don't think so.

Yk what would be the funniest thing Beatrice could do rn? Appear lmao. But yeah no good resolution too bad it's almost definitely not the real one. Or at least not the entire story for sure.

Wait wait wait, will this imply that Kanon and/or Shannon were Kinzo's children?? Hmm i mean, maybe it could explain Kanon's words. Or maybe just someone in that orphanage. I don't know if I'm sold in any way but i'd argue it's something to keep in mind.

Ok they say he used the orphans as human sacrifices which we know isn't true cause Kanon kind of died of his own will...to some extent. Idk i don't believe it rn, but again, good to keep in mind.

FINALLY. Took them this long huh.

Huh so my earlier theory was wrong, the twilight doesn't literally mean twilight. Then i sure wonder what will happen at the end.

If this isn't magic and someone is doing all of this than props to them they sure are a good actor.

Look i get it these people are very worried and do not know what to do. I'm not gonna call them stupid or say they should've acted another way, but i hope next time loop/whatever going back in time will happen they will figure out that maybe they should take the "get my gold" threat more seriously.

She's so cool but at the same time she's so getting stabbed soon. I can just feel it.

They're dying.

:C poor Maria....She deserves better parents. Pls guys fix it fic with Maria found family,

so later they realize the whole purpose of the letter was to divide them, and bring fear. A phone call comes in which you can only hear Maria's distant singing, and the people in the room panic and go out as to find and help her.

Oh god...she'll be singing next to the corpses, won't she? Also, i wonder what she's singing.

ofc i was right. Also *points finger* I know this image! it's the one in the thumbnail of the "Answers to all Umineko crimes and murders" video that kept being recommended to me on youtube! I cannot wait to watch it tbh, i bet I'll be like"HUH??? NO WAY!? HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO GUESS THAT?!" the whole time.

So she is somehow blood related to Kinzo? I mean it being his wife would also work but I'd say daughter works better. Idk I'm saying bullshit, I'll just make a note of this.

ok so Natsuhi is invited to a duel with Beatrice and when the children find her, she has apparently shot herself. Maria then starts running towards the portrait where apparently Beatrice was, and we can hear her voice laughing. Then we cut to a sort of retelling of the events from the police's perspective, and apparently, they found the story about what happened on the island in a journal written by the one and only....*drum rolls* ....MARIA! now this wouldn't be that big of a surprise except we are also given the last line of the journal which says...

WHICH IS WEIRD ASF! because of obvious reasons. Why is she saying to find out the truth?? Does this mean she didn't actually believe in the witch? Or well maybe not that but did something else also happen? This doesn't sound like Maria at all. so ig another mystery to be discovered.

And this is it, the end of the chapter. The next part will be the tea party and my final thoughts and theories. Also just a thought but yeah, although i obviously wish to find the answers, this would be a metal way to end the game, and like not continue at all. Would be quite an end lol.

next part