#like. grating? or something. everything just gets too much so fast after being fine a moment before

[wolvietxt]

💭 thinking about…

𝗅𝗈𝗀𝖺𝗇 𝗁𝗈𝗐𝗅𝖾𝗍𝗍 𝗑 𝗍𝖾𝗅𝖾𝗉𝖺𝗍𝗁𝗂𝖼!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

pairing : logan howlett x fem!reader warnings : anxiety, panic, angst, fluff, overstimulation, implied age gap, pet names, budding relationship au wc : 1.5k a/n : i’m thinking about maybe making the odd prompt list, not sure if anyone would be interested? idk i feel like i have so many ideas on what to write but not enough time to actually write them. lmk if it’s something anyone would be interested in😭

you'd always hated crowded spaces, but this - this was something else entirely.

the pounding bass from the club’s speakers seemed to vibrate through your whole body, and the flashing lights made it impossible to focus on anything for too long. it was all too loud, too chaotic. the mission had been simple: blend in, keep an eye on the target, and extract information. easy enough. except no one had accounted for the fact that a telepath like you could hardly stand in the middle of a packed nightclub without being bombarded by the overwhelming flood of thoughts and emotions from every single person around you.

the drinks, the laughter, the flirtations happening at every corner - they were suffocating. you tried to block them out, but your mental shields were already thin, your energy worn down from the mission prep. and now, with the music and flashing lights adding to the noise in your head, everything was starting to blur together. the alcohol from earlier wasn’t helping either.

you stood near the edge of the room, trying to focus on anything other than the mental cacophony around you. the team was scattered throughout the club, everyone doing their part to blend in with the crowd. but for you, it was becoming harder to concentrate on the task at hand. the target’s thoughts were buried under a thousand others, each one screaming for attention inside your mind.

you felt sick, like the world was spinning too fast. the room was closing in. your head pounded, and you could feel a sharp nausea creeping up your throat. you needed to get out of there, away from the noise, the thoughts, the people.

a warm hand suddenly brushed against your arm, pulling you out of the spiral you were falling into. you turned, blinking, and found logan standing beside you. his sharp eyes were locked on you, concern written all over his face. he’d always been able to read you better than anyone else on the team, even without telepathy.

“you alright, kid?” his voice cut through the haze, gruff but steady. it was like an anchor, something real and solid to focus on.

you nodded quickly, though it was a lie. “i’m fine,” you muttered, but the words felt weak, shaky.

logan didn’t buy it for a second. “yeah, bullshit,” he muttered, his hand still resting on your arm, grounding you. “you’re lookin’ pale as hell. c’mon, bub.”

before you could protest, logan gently but firmly led you toward the exit, weaving through the crowd with ease. you followed, grateful for his presence. the second you stepped outside, the cool night air hit you, and you felt like you could finally breathe again.

logan guided you away from the line of people waiting to get in and toward a quieter spot around the corner of the building, far from the pounding music. the noise from inside was muffled now, and without the sea of thoughts crashing into you from all sides, your head began to clear, just a little.

“better?” logan asked, his voice softer now, though still carrying that rough edge that was so inherently him.

you nodded, taking a deep breath. “yeah… yeah, much better. thanks.”

he leaned back against the brick wall, folding his arms across his chest, watching you carefully. he didn’t push, didn’t demand an explanation, but you could tell by the way his eyes narrowed slightly that he knew something was wrong.

“it’s just... the noise in there,” you said after a moment, your voice quiet, almost embarrassed. “not just the music, but the people. their thoughts. it’s... it’s a lot.”

logan’s expression softened, just a little. he might not understand telepathy the way you experienced it, but he got it in his own way. he knew what it was like to have too much going on in your head, to feel overwhelmed by things out of your control.

“should’ve said somethin’,” he muttered, though his tone wasn’t harsh. “i would’ve gotten you outta there sooner.”

you shook your head. “i didn’t want to mess up the mission.”

“the mission doesn’t matter if you’re about to pass out,” he shot back, his eyes flashing with irritation - not at you, but at the situation. “you gotta take care of yourself.”

you sighed, leaning against the wall beside him. “i know. ‘s just... hard. when you’re in a place like that, and everyone’s thinking all at once, it’s like - ” you shrugged, trying to find the right words. “it’s like being underwater. you can hear everything muffled, but it’s all too much at the same time. i couldn’t block them all out.”

logan was quiet for a moment, processing what you said. then he nodded, as if he understood. “well, you’re outta there now. you don’t need to go back in. the rest of us can handle it.”

you frowned, shaking your head. “no, i can’t leave the team like that. we’re supposed to - ”

“hey,” he interrupted, his voice low but firm. “you’ve done enough, kid. let us take it from here.” his gaze softened as he looked down at you. “besides, you ain’t leavin’ us hangin’. you’re just takin’ a breather. nothin’ wrong with that.”

you met his eyes, feeling a little less guilty under his steady gaze. he was right, of course. but it still felt wrong to step back when the rest of the team was inside, working.

“how about this,” logan added, his tone softening. “you stay out here for a bit, get your head straight, and if you’re feelin’ up to it, we’ll go back in together. but only if you’re ready.”

his words made you relax a little more. the pressure to keep pushing through was gone, and the idea of taking a break, even if just for a few minutes, didn’t feel so bad when he framed it like that.

“okay,” you agreed softly. “i think... i think i need a few minutes.”

logan nodded, satisfied with your answer. he pushed away from the wall and motioned toward a nearby bench. “sit down for a sec. no rush.”

you followed him, sinking onto the bench gratefully. the fresh air felt good, like it was clearing away the fog in your mind. logan sat beside you, silent but present, his arm resting on the back of the bench, his fingers grazing your shoulder lightly.

“how do you do it?” you asked after a few minutes, your voice barely above a whisper.

logan glanced at you, eyebrow raised. “do what?”

“stay so calm,” you murmured, staring down at your hands. “you’re always in control. even when everything’s going crazy, you just... keep it together.”

he huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “you think i’m calm?”

you looked at him, a little surprised by his response. “well, yeah. you always seem like you’ve got it under control.”

logan’s gaze softened as he met your eyes. “darlin’, i ain’t always calm. most of the time, i’m just as pissed off or frustrated as the next guy. but i learned a long time ago that lettin’ it take over don’t do any good. doesn’t mean it’s easy, but... you get used to it.”

you frowned slightly, processing what he said. “so... you’re just used to it?”

“nah,” he corrected, his voice softer now. “i’m used to dealin’ with it. there’s a difference. but i had to figure that out the hard way. you’ll get there, bub. more easily i hope.”

you nodded slowly, letting his words sink in. it wasn’t the same as what you were dealing with, but in a way, it felt like he understood more than anyone else on the team ever could. and the fact that he was here, sitting with you, offering quiet support, meant more than you could express.

“thanks,” you said after a moment, glancing up at him with a small smile. “for getting me out of there. for... everything.”

logan looked at you for a beat, his expression softening. “anytime,” he muttered, his voice gruff but genuine.

for a while, the two of you just sat there in the quiet, the night air cool against your skin. the noise and chaos of the club were distant now, and with logan beside you, the overwhelming thoughts and emotions that had threatened to drown you finally felt manageable.

“you ready to head back in?” logan asked after a few minutes, though his tone wasn’t pushy.

you hesitated for a second, then shook your head. “not yet.”

he smirked slightly, nodding. “good. let’s stay out here a bit longer.”

you smiled, leaning into his shoulder, and he didn’t pull away. instead, his arm settled around you, holding you close as the night stretched on, the two of you finding a moment of peace amidst the chaos.

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[anzulvr]

What do you think Karma would be like with a calm/chill reader who's easygoing and effortlessly charming personality sometimes turns completely 180 when they feel strong emotions? Like they can go from sweetly comforting Nagisa to yelling oddly detailed threats at Terasaka while chasing him with a metal bottle for eating her food. (Maybe mix in some passive aggressive sarcastic sass when Korosensei's being annoying?)

Karma x Chill(..but actually really passive aggressive) reader 🤗🤗 Ty for the request!! (Sorry took long)

— You don’t argue often and you are also very good at listening to everyones perspective and ideas even if they’re different from you. People view you as very understanding so seeing you actually getting into a heated fight it’s surprising at first.

— Karma is so surprised when he sees you angry for the first time like he didn’t know you had it in you to say the things you did.

— He TRIES to get you pissed off just to see you react, since you know he’s kidding and dating him gives you a soft spot for him it’s basically just him failing to annoy you.

— This one time Karma scribbled over your paper to bother you and all you did was frown for a second and erase / re do anything he messed up. (He felt bad and helped you when he realized you weren’t going to fight 😭)

— then in a group project with Yoshida (also Isogai and Rinka) Yoshida scribbled a little bit on your notes (not nearly as much damage as Karma made) but it pissed you off so badly you grabbed a marker and started scribbling on his face

“I’ve been working on those notes for days you actual dumbass”

“Hey- I’m sorry!! I’ll rewrite them— get off me your using permanent marker it’ll be hard to take off!!”

“GOOD.”

— “Damn [name] that mad?” When you hear Karma mention how you reacted you stop so fast

“I wasn’t actually mad. We we’re just playing right Yoshida?”

Only out of fear he agrees “Right..”

— You’re tolerance for everything is way higher for Karma because you like him too much to get mad, that doesn’t mean you never get mad at him it just takes a little more to.

— Some of the things you respond with are shady in the way people expect Karma and it’s just so confusing cause it feels so out of character for you.

— but it’s definitely one of the things Karma likes the most about you because 1. It’s funny 2. Hes glad to see you stand up for yourself once in a while because he’s usually the one telling people off for you.

— passive aggressiveness would come whenever Korosensei or really E class is too pushy about certain topics.

For example before Karma confessed to you theyd push you to do it first and come up with crazy plans to make things happen.

— they full on locked you in a room together and instead of waiting it out you found a way to break the doorknob (together #romanceisreal)

Angry you and happy Karma is a mix end class fears because he’ll be constantly hyping it up😭

Like you’ll be be hitting Terasaka with a notebook because he said something stupid and Karma will go:

“[Name] wait— Use this one it’s way thicker!!”

(took inspo for ur original request lollol)

Karma will support anything you try and honestly rile you up more to see what you do

Angry you and Angry Karma is definitely the worst mix of all

hell on earth

! but it hardly happens since you usually reel each other in

Just tell him to chill tf out😭

Having strong emotions isn’t all bad, you’re empathetic, kind and care for everyone in class— even Terasaka no matter how much of a pain he can be.

mom friend-ish?? (Awe yeah Mom friend definitely)

They don’t actually mind it and are grateful for the times you stand up for them bc they know you love them

Especially Karma even though you’re prone to getting into arguments like all couples do it’ll work out fine because you both care to much about eachother.

If you’re the type to remind people you love them after arguing it’s another thing he loves about you, since he himself has trouble saying he’s wrong first it’s helped him swallow his pride and apologize faster.

(Literally so cute my fave relationship dynamic)

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Brother's Favourite | Jung Wooyoung

-> Pairing: Jung Wooyoung x Wife!Reader

-> Request: From Anon

-> Summary: Wooyoung tries to win back the title of his brother's favourite person. Can be read as a part two to Plans Changed but doesn't have to be.

-> Warnings: Pouty Wooyoung. Fluff. Cuteness. Pregnancy

-> Word Count: 590

-> Requests: Closed. I will make a post when they are open again.

Wooyoung Masterlist | Tag List Sign-Up | Requesting Guidelines

©️ 2024 dancinglikebutterflywings - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead

“Did I do something wrong?” Wooyoung asks Y/N with a frown as Kyungmin walks straight past him without greeting him like he usually does. He couldn’t lie and say his little brother’s cold shoulder doesn’t hurt his feelings. 

“I’m not sure. He was fine on when I picked him up and didn’t mention anything on the drive over,” she shrugs, slipping off her shoes. She greets him with a peck on his pouted lips. “Maybe he’s still a little upset about the last time he came to stay.” 

“I thought we resolved that. I promised him no interruptions this weekend.” He says, with a sigh as he follows her into the kitchen. “I even told everyone not to call me into the company until Monday. This weekend is strictly for you and Kyungmin.” 

“I know baby, but he’s a kid. Words can mean nothing until they have actions to back them up,” she tries to assure him, emptying the bag of food his mother had made for them. “After this weekend, everything will be back to normal and you’ll be his favourite again.” 

“I doubt it,” he pouts again, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her shoulder. “You’ve been his favourite since the day I introduced you to him.” 

Y/N chuckles, turning around to face him. "Well, I can't help it if I'm the cool sister-in-law," she teases, wrapping her arms around his neck. "But you’re his favourite person ever, so don't worry too much." 

Resting his forehead on hers, he pecks her nose. “You’re not just the cool sister-in-law. You’re the best wife ever.” 

“I know,” she smiles cheekily. “Now, go talk to your brother, while I sort out dinner.” 

“How about we go out for dinner?” he suggests, despite him having only arrived home 10 minutes before her and Kyungmin. 

"Sounds good to me. Give me five minutes to get changed into something more comfortable,” Y/N agrees, pulling away from him and heading towards their bedroom to change.  

As she walks away, he can't help but smile to himself, grateful to have her as his wife and mother to his unborn child. Heading to the guest bedroom, he knocks on the door and enters to find his brother opening his new toys that they promised him.  

"Hey, kiddo, how's it going?" he asks, taking a seat on the bed. Kyungmin looks up briefly before continuing to play with his toys. Wooyoung tries again, "We're going out for dinner tonight. You can pick the place."  

Wooyoung smiles, watching his brother’s eyes light up at the mention of being able to choose where they go for dinner. He watches as Kyungmin carefully considers where he wants to eat, his face scrunched up in concentration.  

After a few moments, Kyungmin finally looks up at Wooyoung and says, “McDonald’s!"  

The older Jung chuckles and gets up from the bed, tousling his brother’s hair as he agrees, "McDonald’s it is then.”  

The young boy’s excitement wavers a bit, prompting Wooyoung to ask, "What's wrong?"  

"Can Y/N eat McDonald's?" he asks, showing his concern for his sister-in-law's pregnancy food preferences.  

"She can eat at McDonald's, in fact, the baby loves McDonald's," he reassures him. 

Kyungmin's little face lights up again after hearing that his niece or nephew also loves the fast-food restaurant. 

“Let’s go see if Y/N is ready to go,” Wooyoung suggests and follows Kyungmin out of the bedroom. 

As they enter the living room, they find Y/N ready and waiting for them. She smiles seeing the two acting all brotherly again. 

Wooyoung Tag List: @staytiny2000 - @treehouse-mouse - @kpopmenace143 - @alexxavicry - @jedi-dreea -

@rainydayteacups - @green-agent - @tinyelfperson - @yeonjunnie – @hollxe1 –

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@katsukis1wife -

Wouldn't let me tag you (properly or at all - I don't want to have to remove anyone so please let me know if you get a notification): @trinxt - @marianxde08

If you aren't able to be tagged: how to change mentions (tags) settings on phone

[pixiedust0604]

Miss You Already-

Clarisse x fem!reader

Info: Reader is in Aphrodite Cabin. Set in The Sea of Monsters. This is my first fanfic on here, so some constructive criticism would be very appreciated!

Context: Clarisse is about to go into the Sea of Monsters to get the Golden Fleece, but something (or someone) gets in her way

Reader's POV

Warnings: Angst but is resolved in the end

Word Count: 1381 words

Clarisse was livid.

Not that this should be a surprise. Clarisse was known for her temper in Camp, so it was of no big shock that she was upset. 'Probably the nerves of going on a quest for the first time' her siblings thought.

They were very wrong.

You see, Clarisse had a lucky shirt and bandana she wore when she did things like this. Any competition she went to, any test she did she always wore her lucky CHB shirt and bright red bandana.

She set them out that night, before she went to bed. She knows she did. But when she went to get dressed this morning, they were gone.

Now she's in a worse mood that usual, and I was terrified.

I could here the noise she was making from the dining pavilion.

I took the shirt and bandana last night, but I didn't know that they were her lucky ones. I just wanted something to remind me of her while she went away. It's not like I knew how important they were.

Okay, I didn't know the bandana was important, but in my defence, it's scary thinking about the fact that my girlfriend might not come home after this quest. I know I'll miss her, so I wanted to wear both the t-shirt and the bandana while she was gone, so it felt like she was right there next to me, and that the luck would bring her home to me safely.

I was just about to sneak back off to my cabin after breakfast so Clarisse wouldn't catch me, when I bumped into her immediately.

*Great, I'm dead aren't I* I think to myself as I see her almost glaring at me.

"Hi Y/N, you haven't seen my lucky bandana and camp t-shirt, have you?" She said, even though we both knew that I have them both.

"No, can't say I have honey, good luck on your quest though! Goodbye, love you!" I say, before quickly trying to running off.

Keyword, trying to. Unfortunately, Clarisse caught me by the arm before I could run off.

"Not so fast, love. You need to help me find them. Do you mind me looking in your cabin first?" She asked, grinning at me.

"I mean, I'd love to help, but I'm very busy right now." I say quickly, hoping that it'll work and she'll let me go.

It didn't work. Of course it didn't.

"Please, love? It'll only take 2 minutes." She said, feigning being upset.

I sighed, and said, "Fine, but you'll have to be quick, I don't think you have that much time, Clary." I was worried that she was going to see them both straight away. "Do you mind if I clean up a bit before you look? My part of the cabin is pretty messy."

"No, I'd prefer if I could look right now, lovely. I want to get going as soon as possible, okay?" She answers, looking at me again with that smirk of hers.

"Okay, come on then." I say, turning around terrified. I lead her to the Aphrodite Cabin, practically shaking the entire time.

I open the door, letting her in. "Here you go, just don't go through people's stuff too much, alright?" I close the door behind us, grateful that no-one else is there.

She starts rifling through everyone's wardrobe, checking the tags for her name, and searching through each person's accessories for her bandana. Until she got to mine.

This is where I start panicking, because I hid it in the most obvious place I could think of. Underneath my pillow.

She looks in my wardrobe, obviously to find nothing, then she gets to the bed.

She throws everything off the bed, and there lies the bandana, and the shirt where my pillow should be, crumpled up into a ball.

Clarisse, the girl I've been dating for almost 9 months now, turns to look at me with a look I've never seen aimed at me before.

A look I've only seen her give Percy Jackson, and any monster who dare to make her angry. A look of unbridled rage.

"Babe, why is my lucky bandana and shirt in your bed?" She asked, glaring at me with that look.

"Uh... I- I don't know, could have been one of the Hermes kids? But I don't know how it got there my love," I shakily replied, trying my best to get to the exit, bumping into things on the way.

"Then why are you leaving? Didn't you say yesterday that you wanted to see me off to the border?" She said, frowning at me. She stepped closer.

"Did I? I don't remember that..." I say, trailing off as my hand grasps the door handle.

"Just tell me why you took it, love" Clarisse says, that terrifying look fading and her voice growing softer as she saw how frightened I was.

She steps closer, her face relaxing as she stepped closer. Her hands were spread out wide, showing me I had nothing to fear. That she wouldn't hurt me. I know she never would, I was the only person in the entire camp she wasn't willing to spar with. The only times we ever did spar together, she always held back.

"I wanted something to remember you by, that's all. I'm so scared you won't make it- home, and I want something to have that- that's yours, so it feels like you're here with me. I'm so sorry Clarisse, I'm so so sorry I took them. I won't take anything from you again, I promise. But please, promise me you'll make it home safe, because I can't lose you." I say between sobs, tears flowing down my face and onto the hardwood floor.

I'm quickly enveloped into her arms, and my head is tucked under her chin.

"I'm sorry that you felt that way, Y/N. But maybe next time, ask for something from me. I have a ton of camp shirts and bandanas for you to have that I'd be happy to give you. You just have to a ask." She tells me, stroking my hair.

After a silence, I say, "I will, I'm sorry. Can I still walk you to the border?"

"Of course you can. In fact, why don't you pick out a bandana before I go? You can wear it while I'm gone." She says, letting me go, and leading me out of my cabin, to hers.

"Really?" I ask, my voice wobbling as tears fill my eyes once again.

"Yeah, of course love. You said you wanted something to remind you of me while I'm gone, so you can pick something out of mine." She says walking into her cabin, her hand still holding mine even as her siblings stare.

I ended up choosing a blue bandana and one of her camp shirts.

I felt all eyes on me and Clarisse as she held my hand and walked out with me. "Do you want anyone to come with us to the border?" She asks, rubbing my knuckles.

"No, I think I'll be okay" I reply, clutching the blue cloth in my left hand.

"Alright then my love." She said, and pulled me along gently to the border. There stood Argus, with his van.

"You ready to go?" He asks Clarisse, opening the van door for her.

"Yeah, just one sec" Clarisse answers.

Argus nods his head, his multiple eyes blinking at the same time.

"I'll see you later, Y/N. And don't you dare say I might not be, because I know I'll always come back to you." She says playfully.

"I swear to the gods, if you die on this quest, I'll kill you Clarisse." I joke, giggling as tears fill my eyes again.

She then kisses me, and her hands snaked around my waist. I quickly grab her face, kissing her back. I can feel her chapped lips as they move against mine. Her rough hands pull me closer, so I can feel her body .

Unfortunately, Argus interrupted saying "Clarisse, we have to get going."

She slowly pulls back and lets go of my waist. As I feel her body leave mine, Clarisse possibly for the last time, kisses me on the cheek, and moves away from me to go on her quest.

[goldfades]

had another jump then fall thought

after adam and cece start dating (and maybe move in together???) i could totally see paloma walking into their room at night holding her fave stuffie with tears in her poor little eyes saying she cant sleep (especially after the court thing) she would just be so scared that ceces gonna disappear or shes gonna get taken away from them again poor girl is so little with so much anxiety

oh my god YES. anxiety is very much a part of paloma’s life after the whole court hearing. she never wants to be away from adam ever again and even the mere thought gives the poor girl nightmares 🥹🥹

after the hearing, even adam gets anxious about the whole thing and the only person who’s able to calm him is sweet cece (despite her own fears of paloma’s bio mom taking her again)

─ warnings sosososo much anxiety, exhaustion but fluffy (post pining) moments with cece/adam. also this was written on my phone so there may be errors LOL

─ wc 635

the clock on the bedside table flashed 3:12 am and both cece and adam were fast asleep in their warm bed. cece had a 10 am lecture while adam had practice the next morning, they both wanted to catch up on their sleep.

the door creaked open, revealing a very pouty and tired looking paloma. she began crying softly and cece began to stir before waking up and seeing the toddler at the door, barely being able to stand.

“dove?” cece’s hoarse and tired voice rang out in the room as she got out of bed and grabbed the little girl into her arms.

at cece’s now empty spot on the bed, adam stirred and eventually woke and let out a sigh. this had been a constant struggle with paloma since the hearing but he couldn’t hold it against her, she didn’t even know what was going on. he would be lying if he said he wasn’t exhausted, though.

adam rubbed his eyes and sat up, running a hand through his tousled hair as he watched cece comfort paloma. he knew that the past few weeks had been tough on all of them, especially on paloma. ever since the hearing, she had been more clingy than usual, sensing the tension in the air.

"another bad dream?" adam asked, his voice still thick with sleep as he glanced over at cece and paloma.

cece nodded, her own exhaustion evident in the lines of her face. "yeah. they're getting more frequent, adam. i'm getting a little worried."

adam sighed as he stayed silent for a moment before speaking up. "she's fine. it's normal for her to wanna sleep with us, she's a baby."

"adam," cece's voice was a little agitated as adam once again tried to ignore paloma's obvious separation anxiety. she knew he couldn't help it though.

adam felt a pang of guilt at cece's tone. he knew she was right, but he also struggled with seeing paloma upset and he didn't know how he'd cope if he found out there was something wrong. he ran a hand through his hair again, feeling the weight of exhaustion settling on his shoulders.

"i know, cee," adam said softly, reaching out to gently stroke paloma's hair as she nestled against cece. "i just hate seeing her like this, you know? It breaks my heart. and it's my fault, too-"

"don't you dare say that, adam." cece's voice was firm, cutting off adam's self-blame before it could fully take root. she reached out to grasp Adam's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "it isn't anyone's fault except her mother's, for making us all endure the shit she gave us."

adam's shoulders sagged with relief at Cece's words, grateful for her understanding. he leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to paloma's forehead before resting his forehead against cece's.

"i know," Adam murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "i just... i want to do everything i can to protect her, you know? and when i see her like this... it's hard not to feel like i'm failing."

cece reached up, cupping Adam's cheek in her hand and guiding his gaze to meet hers. "you're not failing, adam. you're the best dad ever and paloma knows that. you can't control everything that happens no matter how hard you try, all you can do is just help her cope."

adam's eyes softened at her words, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over him. he leaned into her touch, savoring the warmth of her hand against his cheek.

"thank you, cece," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "i needed to hear that."

cece smiled softly, her eyes filled with warmth as she pressed a tender kiss to adam's lips. "of course, adam. we are in this together, remember? we'll figure it out."

[horce-divorce]

something something about the power imbalance inherent to being an unhoused person, how similar it is to the dependency that abusers intentionally foster in their relationships to keep victims from leaving. but if you're homeless and someone is putting you up, especially if it's for free/some kind of exchange other than rent, you're basically expected to put up with whatever indignity they can imagine for you and still just be grateful. And if you set a boundary or speak up for yourself in any kind of way, that's Taking Advantage of this poor kind person who's doing SO much for you already, how could you?

sorry its 2am and I'm trying to write a better draft about this for later too but its like. being homeless is a huge, huge vulnerability. ppl people will look to exploit that, intentionally or not. and doubly so if you're homeless because you're disabled.

also something the ableism involved... about how I know so many fellow disabled people who have struggled with homelessness, and we all have similar stories about people we trusted, friends or loved ones who seemed all too happy to help and take us in, and how we repeatedly impressed upon them the nature of our health and the situation, and they swore up and down that they understood and that we were on the same page about boundaries and expectations... only to have them blow up and kick us out at the absolute first sign of conflict or miscommunication, or because we didn't get jobs fast enough, or because we didn't contribute financially even after being told that wasn't expected, and so on.

and how, I know so many housed people who have never been through this, who all have very similar stories about how they tried to help a friend in need once, and they were SO lazy and horrible and took SO long to get their shit together that they clearly were just a freeloader taking advantage who should've never been trusted, just like all homeless people, and that's why we give them socks and canned beans instead of money.

I was never allowed to complain about ableist expectations or abled people ignoring my boundaries in my parents' home. Especially not after I became a disabled adult who still needed help with housing. And that's been true of most of the couch-hopping I've done since then, too.

Currently we have a fairly nice situation... we live with a trusted and pleasant friend. It's a whole house, not an apartment. Not even in the city. We have our own entire room. We don't have to pay rent or anything. It's temporary even aside from our discomfort, it's just been a nice place to land for the cold months.

However. Friends parents are not so chill. Their dad is the most disgusting man alive and has repeatedly gotten us sick bc he's always got something, bleeds all over and never cleans it up, never washes his hands, leaves his dentures on countertops and tables with food still stuck on them, coughs all over our stuff and never masks, is actively making the mouse infestation worse with all the food he leaves out, and puts our health at risk in SO many ways.

he used to work in Healthcare btw. His wife still does. They know we're here bc we're homeless; they know we're both disabled and immunocompromised; neither of them will wear a mask. Both of them are constantly coughing everywhere and not even covering their mouths. We've tried to politely bring this to their attention multiple times and nothing changes. They just ignore us.

We could literally die from this. We could get lifelong health complications even worse than what we have now. Bel lost his sense of taste today and now we're terrified that it's gonna be long covid or something else that sucks what little joy is left from our daily lives.

You lose everything, and then you're supposed to just say nothing and accept your lot, no matter how much danger you're in, because beggars can't be choosers. If you're disabled and poor you'd better just be fine with people abusing you and putting your health and safety at risk indefinitely, because you're lucky they're even helping you at all instead of JUST abusing you.

You dont get to have a home. You dont get to collect things, or keep sentimental things, or have a whole, adequate wardrobe. You get what you can carry with you and what won't get stolen or destroyed by others, or by the nature of moving so much. You dont get to have safety and stability and roots and community. You dont get the dignity of boundaries or your own space. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. And be happy and say "thank you" if people are merely ignoring you instead of actively silencing you. And if the people "helping" you actually give you the thing that kills you, at least you didn't die of exposure, I guess? Or something?

Its just. Every single thing you do as both a homeless & disabled person reminds you how utterly worthless you are to the """normal""" people around you. Every day. It's so demoralizing.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Sirius found himself waiting impatiently for James to return. Bloody hell. He only went to the bathroom, why was Sirius so clingy lately? It was maybe that the idea of being alone and starting to think about all the negative thoughts inside his mind, made Sirius really scared. He needed the distraction.

Luckily, since Sirius arrived at the Potters', James had been the ideal distraction. The boy was full of life, with good and new ideas for something to do. Constantly talking about whatever it occurred to him.

Sirius had been following James around the house like a lost puppy, doing whatever he was doing just not to be left alone. Sirius also had been sleeping with him, because he couldn't bare to be alone at night.

And it felt fine to be with James. He was the type of person that could make anyone feel better in a second. Such a positive bloke with warmth, kindness, hope and love to give. Maybe James was like sunshine. And Sirius was extremely cold.

"You took too long" Sirius found himself saying as James came out of the house with a big smile on his face "Did you take the opportunity to have a wank or what?"

James hit his head playfully as he took a seat next to him. The sun was burning his chocolate skin. Meanwhile Sirius had to cover his pale face with large sunglasses.

"Sorry, handsome" James said "Evans called me" he winked.

Sirius immediately felt a knot on his throat. That girl provoked negative things inside of him. Now she was after James? Now she cared about him? When before all she did was reject him and treat him awfully.

"So better reason to wank" he said trying to tease but he sounded very angry.

James simply laughed.

"I don't know, Padsie. We are getting closer and closer with time. I'm getting to her, I can tell"

Sirius didn't mean to be rude, but he preferred when Evans made James sulk. Not make him smile like an idiot.

"I wouldn't be so quick to get my hopes up" he whispered under his breath.

The idea of Evans having James, his James, was revolting.

"Why are you so grumpy about?" James asked teasingly. "Why is my little Padfoot boy so sad?"

The thing was that Sirius had been grumpy, sulking, moaning and feeling miserable lately.

"I am not grumpy" he lied.

James leaned closer, examinating him.

"Your face gets ugly when you frown like that" James continued "Where's my handsome best friend? Ha ha?"

James was even more close and for some reason, Sirius’s heart started beating fast. He smelled like that coconut sunblock Effie had borrowed them.

"You even have a wrinkle over here" As James touched his temple with his finger, Sirius immediately blushed.

"Oh fuck off!" Sirius pushed James's hand away.

He was blushing. It was so embarrassing.

It had always been comfortable around James. They told each other everything. They teased each other. They joked about being each other's loves. After they both broke up with their first girlfriends and sulked about them together, they swore that they didn't need anyone else more than each other.

Although this summer, things were different. Maybe it was the embarrassment of what happened between Sirius and his family. Maybe it was that they've been spending too much time alone as Effie and Monty went out of the house to do their things. Or maybe the stupid kiss they had shared the night James and Monty found Sirius on the street. He had been so scared, so cold, so hopeless that when he saw James his instinct was to kiss him as a grateful act. He regretted it immediately. Friends didn't do that, specially between boys. Luckily James hadn't mentioned it and Sirius was too ashamed to talk about it. They pretended it just didn't happen.

Now, Sirius was nervous around James. He blushed, his heart raced, he sweated.

But Sirius didn't want to push James away either. He needed him like breathing.

James was laughing.

"Okay grumpy boy, I am free for you now..." James said with a smirk "What do you want to do? Have a swim?"

The thought of both of them being half naked in the pool, made Sirius uneasy. He shook his head.

"Go inside and play video games?"

Having James's knee close to his on the couch, made Sirius freeze and be awkward. He shook his head.

"Boring... Do you want to listen to some music?"

That sounded like the best idea. Maybe Sirius could close his eyes, concentrate on the lyrics and distract himself. He shrugged.

James grabbed his phone and connected it to the speaker, and scrolled through it.

"What should we play, maybe something to improve your mood" James tusked to himself.

Sirius laid back on his chair.

"Just bloody play something"

James grinned.

"Lily told me she likes this song"

Sirius rolled his eyes. Could he stop talking about that stupid girl?

James played it anyway and a soft melody began sounding through the speaker. James was immediately moving his head accordingly.

It was rather an upbeat tune. Very contagious, something pop. When the lady started singing about fucking sunshine or whatever, Sirius hated it.

"It's horrid"

James raised an eyebrow.

"Tosser" he replied "In the mood of something else, I see?" then he gasped, making Sirius jump. "Nobody improves my mood better than Selena"

"Who?" Sirius asked amused.

"Selena Quintanilla?" James exclaimed "One of the reasons why latino music is better, specially Cumbia"

Sirius smiled only because James sounded so excited about this woman's music that it was contagious. And when James played the song, Sirius realized what he meant.

It wasn't precisely Regueton, the kind of hyspanic music Sirius was used to. It was an strange rhythm. So upbeat and delicious that gave you the thrill of immediately moving your body to the rhythm. It was for dancing.

James was definitely enjoying it, moving his body and trying to sing the Spanish lyrics. Sirius knew he understood the language well, when Effie talked to him but he sucked at speaking it. And it was funny because he was trying not to fail but somehow couldn't pronounce them.

Sirius laughed as James tried to sing to him the lyrics. And even if he didn't understand Spanish that well, he knew it was a love song. He recognized the word "amor" or "corazón".

"This song is about a Forbidden Love" James explained beaming at the lyrics. James gave him side glance and smiled to himself.

Something about that revelation made Sirius swallow. Forbidden Love.

Sirius was caught of guard when James stood up to dance. He did it in a funny way even, moving his but from side to side or making silly dance moves. All, to make Sirius laugh, which he did.

"You are ridiculous, Potter"

"See? You look much prettier when you are happy"

There it was again. The flustered cheeks and the warm sensation in his chest. All of this was weird.

"Come and dance with me, Pads" James screamed over the music, extending his hands for him.

Sirius shook his head "No. No way"

James insisted "Come on, you coward. You are scared because you don't think you can do better than me" and as he said this, he did some twerking.

Sirius let out a giggle and then bit his lip.

"Oh I bet I can dance better than whatever that is"

"Prove it then" James said defiantly.

Sirius stood up, only with the desire to impress James. He danced the way he did on parties at Hogwarts. Maybe not how this music was supposed to be danced at all.

"Yeaah Padfoot!" James encouraged, which made Sirius blush. James kept looking at him move. Sirius enjoyed the attention.

James took his hands without warning, teaching him how to move his feet faster, from side to side.

Although while James was concentrated with the dance moves, Sirius was very aware of the way their hands were holding each other. How close they were. They were dancing like a couple would. Boy and Girl.

James even pulled him closer by his hip and Sirius was forced to put his chin on James's warm shoulder. Sirius was a bit shorter than James. Only a few inches. Their chests pressed against one and other. Sirius could feel James's heart beating against his own.

Adrenaline and electricity filled Sirius’s body. His chest was burning and he felt perfectly fine between James's arms. Butterflies and birds inside his belly.

Sirius hadn't felt this way about anyone. So close. So fine. Like meant to be together. No one like his best friend.

He thought: How could Evans reject someone so perfect? Someone so good. Someone so nice. And handsome even. The perfect boy.

They swayed for a while and Sirius wished they could've stayed there all day, all summer, all their lives. He liked the idea of being held by these arms. Forvever.

Then slowly, James faced him. Sirius realized he had big eyelashes behind those glasses. Dark brown eyes. And that untidy hair... Sirius wanted to grab it and pull it.

"Feel better my handsome boy?" James asked, quietly with a low voice.

Sirius’s heart jumped on his chest. He liked the idea of being his. His best friend. His boy.

Sirius nodded. He smiled to show it.

"I always feel better with you around, Prongsie"

James caressed his chin.

"That's how I like it" James said.

They were leaning closer so slowly that they didn't notice. This was new. And thrilling.

Sirius wasn't gay. And for what he knew James either. He had been into Evans since forever.

Then what was going on? Why was James still cupping his face?

Where they going to kiss? Did Sirius actually want it?

"Hello, my dears! We're home!!"

The voice of Effie from inside the house, broke the spell. Both boys were blushing profoundly as they pulled apart. James rubbed his hair with embarrassment. Just like he did around Evans.

Sirius thought it was a hot feature.

"Coming mum!" James yelled.

He didn't look at Sirius as he walked inside. Sirius was left shivering with the sudden desire to kiss his best friend.

Bloody hell! He had a crush on James Potter. He fancied him. He fancied him a lot.

Sirius didn't know what this meant or how this would change their friendship. But he was willing to try.

With that sudden realization, he walked inside as well.

[taones]

If You Can Hold On - A.A, S.K, S.D

a rewrite of my most popular series because my writing from two years ago made me cringe so bad <3

pairing ~ poly asadaisuga x gn!reader

warnings ~ pining, angst, negative emotions, not edited

You just considered yourself lucky that Asahi had decided to drive and not Suga. As much as you loved him, he drove like he hadn’t much to live for. The driving so far had been split between his two, more responsible boyfriends - Asahi and Daichi, something you couldn’t be more grateful for. 

Instead, the silver-haired man had decided to share the backseat with you. Small was a generous descriptor of the car, so it had been you two stuck closely together, the bags of snacks being the only separators between your thighs. You had been lucky enough to gain stereo privilege early on in the journey and the two of you were currently singing along, rather badly, to a song that Asahi considered rather inappropriate. Daichi had let you take control of the bluetooth considering you were going to be a backseat passenger the entire journey - something the taller man was beginning to curse him for.

By the time the first evening fell, your backseat companion had moved into the front and Asahi had reclaimed control of the music after some loud complaints. You could see Daichi and Suga holding hands through the gap in the seats. It was obvious that Asahi could too, if the content smile on his face was anything to go by. 

You felt your stomach curdle. A grimace took over your face but was quickly schooled into a cooler expression once you caught your long-haired companion flickering his eyes towards you. If it was any other person, you could hardly care less, but you were pretty sure it’s considered a sin to make Asahi anything less than perfectly happy. So you smiled. Even as your insides turned and twisted like waves in a storm.  Pretending to hum to the music, you curled up against the door of the car, pressing your face onto the cold window, and pretended not to notice the concerned looks. 

The condensation on the window did little to cool the horrible squirming feeling that had overtaken your entire body. You found yourself thinking about how you had even gotten into this situation in the first place. Falling in love with a friend, that’s bad enough. Falling for a friend you knew was taken, that was worse. Falling for your three best friends, who were all taken by each other? That had to earn some sort of award for most pathetic romantic occurrence. It was the summer of your last year at Karasuno, and you were all still reeling from graduation. It had become easier since you had left to deal with your feelings, not being around them all the time, so you’d thought maybe the road trip was a good idea. Primarily because you thought it would finally prove to yourself that you could get over them and spend some time around them without incessant pining. As it would happen, this wasn’t the case at all. Your relationship with the three throughout high school was like a child riding a bike. The wheels were Daichi, sturdy and unchanged. Suga was the handle bars, always herding and directing in the right way, making sure the right turns were made. And Asahi was the chain, keeping everything together and running smoothly. 

You were the stabilisers. Sure, you were necessary for a while, but eventually you would come away and everything would be unchanged, just fine. As if you were never even there. 

It’s not as if it was your fault either. The three men were all so amazing in their own rights, had aspirations and dreams - however different all three were. They all had little things about them that made you fall hard and fast, almost as soon as you had met them as a first year. Anyone would fall for at least one of them, you were just the lucky person who had fallen for all three. Perfect. 

As it turns out, the soft hum of the car did eventually lull you into a restless sleep. That is until you were awoken by soft grumbling voices in the car around you. Glowing amber numbers on the front console told you it was nearing midnight and you began to wonder if you would stop for the night and find somewhere to rest. Daichi’s voice pulled you back into their conversation. 

“It’s not like we can tell them now, we’re in the middle of nowhere”

Realisation dawned on you, they had no idea you were awake and listening. Considering you were still partially hidden by the hood of the jacket you stole from Asahi two stops back, you shouldn’t be surprised. What did they want to ask? Was it anything to do with you? It could be nothing, of course, but the urgency with which Daichi spoke sent you spiralling. There wasn’t much the boys didn’t tell you and it would be a lie to say it didn’t sting slightly that something wasn’t being said. It wasn’t like you got upset with them often. 

“What are we supposed to do then Daichi?” the softer voice of Asahi questioned, he was obviously being conscious of your sleeping state. 

“It’s not as if we can’t tell them, they’ll have to know at some point”

You almost smiled at the brunette’s gentle voice before remembering your sleeping facade and forcing it away. He really was a sweetheart. 

“We can’t exactly walk up to them and be like ‘hi sorry to bother you but join our poly relationship?” Suga’s voice rang out, a sarcastic tinge burning your ears slightly.

Ah. So that’s why they weren’t telling you. 

In truth, you hadn’t reacted well to the news of their relationship. Not that you were against those types of relationships, quite the opposite in fact. You didn’t exactly have the nerve to tell them you were hopelessly in love with them all and the only real issue was they weren’t carrying you into the sunset like the end of one of Suga’s cheesy drama’s. You could only let them believe it was a big step for you to be okay with and let them reassure you it wouldn’t ruin your friendship - as if you would ever think that. 

So you could perfectly understand the reluctance of telling you they were adding another person to their relationship. Searching your brain, you tried to think of someone it could be. Kiyoko would be anyone’s first guess but she had recently came out as a lesbian and began a relationship with Yachi - so that was off the table. They didn’t speak to many people outside of the volleyball club and you knew Daichi would be massively uncomfortable dating one of his underclassmen regardless. 

Could it be someone you didn’t know? Maybe they had met someone in the first few weeks of the summer and fallen head over heels. Maybe they were beautiful, funny, a perfect fit for the three of them to mould around and envelop in their relationship. 

The thought made you sick. 

It was hard enough dealing with all three of them being together but there was never any jealousy for just one person. You don’t think you would be able to say the same for the new addition, the person taking the place in the relationship that you had craved and wanted for so long.  Exactly fitting the missing space in the puzzle that you would never be the right fit for. The more you thought about it, the more you realised how much harm that would do to you. Would you even be able to spend time with your boys anymore? Would you be able to have your weekly movie nights without leaving their new partner out? It was obvious you couldn’t stand to be around them, and you didn’t even know this person. Would this mean the end of your friendship all together?

The others slowly faded into a comfortable silence but you felt as if waves were crashing in your head, slowly drowning you. At least, you thought, they would tell you who it was. Did they know about your feelings? Maybe that’s why they didn’t want you to know. Maybe this whole road trip was to let you down gently at the end. No, that was stupid. You knew they wouldn’t do that but it didn’t stop the thought from anchoring your mind further in its waves, pulling and dragging.

Tears glossed over your eyes and you found yourself burying your head further into Asahi’s hoodie, the smell of firewood and pine bringing you a bittersweet comfort. You only hoped you would be able to keep them in your life, even if the idea of seeing them with a new partner brought you to tears. The shimmers of tears that had dropped onto your hands were illuminated by the street lamps passing overhead. It almost made you scoff with the cliche of it all. 

A grown person, freshly graduated, sitting in the back of your friend’s car and sobbing like a baby. If only your friends could see you now. 

It honestly felt like you were 15 again. The feelings were so raw that it took you back to the days when you first met them. The grey haired boy that gave you his pencil in maths when yours snapped and sat with you at lunch when you had nobody to talk to. The vibrant smile he had when he complimented your haircut that day stuck in your mind even now, along with a high pitched ‘I wish my hair was as nice as yours!’. It was so simple yet so very Koushi. You couldn’t help but think it was a crime to not be at least a little bit in love with him. 

The sound of a changing gear stick made you think of when you first fell for Sawamura. You were walking across the school yard in spring, ready to pick up Suga from volleyball practice and walk home when you slipped on a pile of leaves and was sent to your knees on the gravel. He had caught sight of you while leaving and rushed over, pulling a plaster out of his pocket with little cartoon bears and placing it gently on your knee. That was when you had fallen, quite literally, for him.

Asahi was last, it was the winter of your first year and you had been walking home as a four. A soft meow interrupted your laughing and you looked up only to see a cat stuck in the bare branches of a tree. You knew Asahi was scared of holding small animals (he didn’t want to hurt them - something you found perfectly ridiculous) but you couldn’t help but turn to the boy, tall even then, and pout at him to get the poor thing down. Reluctantly, he had stepped up to the tree and pulled the furry animal right down, holding it against his chest for a second to check it was okay. Being so gentle with the cat and looking up at you with a triumphant smile caused your heart to flutter in your chest and you realised you had fallen for all three.

And now they were asking another person to join them. Another person they loved that wasn’t you, it would never be you. Eventually, the tears had dried up and been subtly rubbed from your face. The least you could do was be happy for them even if you were struggling. They didn’t need to know how you felt because it was just unnecessary guilt on them. It was almost the worst part that you couldn’t be angry at them, it was like you were physically unable to blame them even if it would be easier for you. The soft yellow of the street lamps caused sleep to overcome you again, their earlier words echoing around your head.

hopefully I actually finish it this time huh , reblogs are appreciated! ily all <3 be nice to me pls I am *delicate* when it comes to this series

original series on masterlist or here

[shatterinseconds]

Fire

Keithtober '23 week 2

The fire crackles in front of them. 

It took Keith two attempts for the sparks to catch on some dry twigs they collected from their rough landings. It may be a small start, but at this point, Keith is grateful that he and Lance crash landed on a forested planet and not in an arctic zone. And that the skills he learned, needing to start fires for the cold nights in the desert when the burner in his shack acted up, remained ingrained in him.

“When do you think they’ll come for us?” Lance asks as he strokes the fire. An emergency blanket is wrapped around his shoulders.

“Probably another hour,” Keith guesses, staring up at the fading twin suns. They landed not more than thirty minutes ago but he worries about the dark. Who knows what crawls in the night around here. “They still have to get here.”   

He and Lance were on patrol, scouting out this unknown planet that popped up on the castle-ship’s long range radar. No information was found in the Altean database and they had no way of knowing if it was occupied by the Galra—though the likelihood was high. Hiding behind one of the larger moons, its magnetic core throwing off their sensors, a Galra cruiser shot them down by surprise. Their comms fried instantly, their lions inactive. Hopefully by not reporting at check-in time, it spurred the rest of their team into immediate action.

Now they rest against the blue lion’s side. Keith rests his bayard on his lap, keeping watch on the trees. Lance has his gun propped beside him within immediate reach. But his manner is much more relaxed, pressed up against Keith’s side as he drapes the blanket over Keith’s shoulders too. It’s not that big so they snuggle close.

A dried patch of blood crusts on Lance’s forehead under his hair. It bled fast, being a head wound, but is a minor gash. One that won’t even need stitches. Keith is more worried about a possible concussion, but Lance has been fairing fine, still able to needle and tease him. 

Sighing, Lance throws his poker stick down, clenching his hands in his lap. “What if they don’t come?” 

Keith turns his head slightly, catching Lance’s gaze. “That’s not really a scenario I want to consider.” No matter how impossible it would be. They’ll come; he knows it.

“It might not be too bad,” Lance responds lightly, “I was thinking about how nice of a spot this would be.”

“Did you hit your head harder than I thought?”

Lance shakes his head. “I’m serious. We could build a nice little shack over there.” He gestures to the roughed-up clearing the lions’ descent created. “Tend to a garden and grow weird alien flora.” Lance moves his attention back towards Keith, a glimmer of something in his eyes. “Just the two of us. Away from everything.”

Keith is silent for a moment and finally says, a little hesitant, “Is that your dream, for after the war?”

Lance smiles at him, a soft one. “How’d you guess?”

“It sounded too nice to be thought of on the spot.”

“Sometimes,” Lance starts to explain as he leans in, like this is a secret to be shared only with Keith though no other person is around and their lions are offline. “I like to imagine what it’ll be like when we defeat the Galra Empire. Gives me something tangible to look forward to.”

Whether the hand-built shack and alien plants are a permanent fixture of Lance’s imaginative future, the underlying message, Keith understands, will forever remain unchangeable. Lance wants to build a home with him. Keith blinks back a sudden push of tears. He interlocks his hand with Lance’s, squeezing once in approval of his plan. “They’ll come for us. We’ll survive.” Survive all of it, not just today.

Lance dips his head into the crook of Keith’s neck, curling into him. “I plan to,” Lance says and it’s the easiest thing Keith has ever believed in.

[best-titan-7274]

They're adorable, I said what I said

No matter how many times BT is completely fine, watching the techs go over him is always nerve-wracking. They were wrong about BT being gone once, after all – what if they mess something else up? What if he gets hurt? 

The techs have taken to calling him Mama Cooper, and he valiantly ignores it. (Briggs hasn’t, she even got him a t-shirt with it, but he has yet to wear it… except that one time he forgot about laundry and had to wear it to lunch. He knows there’s still pictures around somewhere.) 

Every time the techs start winding up their cables and rolling their monitors, he starts inching closer. He’s been strictly forbidden from getting too close to BT while the diagnostics are running, like all other Pilots. If something goes wrong with the diagnostics, nobody wants a Titan to accidentally splatter their human buddy across the concrete. 

He’s technically not supposed to get so close so fast, but he trusts BT more than anyone else in the SRS. Even Briggs, and he would’ve said that before the t-shirt before. 

“All right, BT, you good?” Jack asks. 

The tech coughs out something that sounds suspiciously like Mama Cooper, and holds out the tablet with the diagnostics report on it. He doesn’t even glance at it, even if he can see it out of the corner of his eye. 

BT will tell him everything he needs to know. 

“All systems accounted for and functioning at one hundred percent,” BT reports after a moment. 

Good. It’s not that Jack doesn’t trust the techs, he does, he just – wants to be careful. Or paranoid, according to some people and even on occasion BT himself, but Jack accepts the half-teasing remarks because part of him knows they’re right. 

It’s just hard not to be, when he lost BT twice. 

Despite how sickened he was to not be there to give BT some kind of reassurance at the very last moment on Typhon, part of him will forever be grateful that he didn’t have to see it twice. 

“So we’re good,” he says, relieved. Most of the cable ports are just under BT’s eye, near the groove marking the bulk of the SERE kit. The techs – and now Jack – get up there with a telescoping lift. 

It puts them at eye level with BT, as much as it can be called that, so he acts on impulse and pats BT on the head. Kind of. Despite the overall humanoid shape of the Titans, the comparison starts to break down when he gets to the head. 

“What was that?” BT asks. 

“Head pat,” Jack says, suddenly acutely aware that the tech is snickering quietly. “Congratulations for a job well done. 

BT is quiet for a few seconds, evidently thinking this over. 

“This is acceptable,” he says eventually, and Jack gives him a crooked grin. 

It becomes a routine after that. Hover while the techs work, ask BT how everything went, get the confirmation from the techs, and then the head pat. 

The techs find it adorable. Sometimes Jack huffs and grumbles about the way they coo over him and BT, but it’s a small price to pay. And it seems to make BT a little more popular, somehow, as if he didn’t save the entire world by himself. 

Okay, not by himself, technically. He always corrects Jack when Jack says that, but honestly, it is mostly true. Jack did a few things, like finding Anderson’s helmet, but the rest wouldn’t have been possible without BT. 

Honestly, Jack never expected BT to like them. 

Not entirely true. He never would have done something if he thought BT would dislike it even a little, but who could have expected the giant war machine to want to be petted? 

Jack can’t tell him no, though, no matter what. So if BT wants headpats, or anything else, he’s going to get them. 

He wonders, sometimes, if he’s not supposed to have a little more control over his partner, but the thought never lasts long. Neither of them want to control the other. And though everyone knows that BT has the physical strength in their relationship, apparently Lastimosa once called Jack a ‘headstrong little gremlin’ in one of his reports, so Jack wouldn’t count himself out in a contest of wills. 

“Jack,” BT says, and his attention is drawn to the present. 

“Yeah, buddy, what’s up?” 

“Pat.” 

Somehow, Jack’s life has come to a point where his Titan insists on affection. 

He doesn’t mind at all. 

The mission was harder than it should have been. Either their intel was shit, or the IMC is moving troops around a lot faster than it used to – whatever the case, he’d really prefer to not be surprised by three enemy Titans in the future, thanks very much. 

With one of their own Titans shattered by a well-placed missile, the Pilots are all meeting on the ground for their post-mission briefing. They were lucky the Pilot in the exploded Titan survived, and the fact that she’s holding a SERE kit instead of having completely lost her Titan is a miracle. 

The briefing is quick, because none of them really want to stand around longer than they need to. The enemy Titans are scrapped, their Pilots killed, so they pose no threat – but reinforcements could come and surprise them, too, if they’re not careful. 

“That’s all, team,” the mission lead says, shutting down the hologram map protruding from her wrist. “Let’s embark and wait for the transport ship to land. You first, Cooper.” 

He points to himself, an eyebrow raised, and shrugs when she nods. Not ours to question why, as the saying went, not that anyone ever jokingly quoted the second half. 

“Ready to embark, BT?” he asks, not really paying attention because he can’t imagine the answer will be anything but ‘yes’. 

“Pats.” 

“What?” 

There’s a scattered handful of snickers behind him, and he realises, suddenly, why he was told to go first. Rotten bastards. 

BT kneels down and hunches his shoulders over, trying to get even shorter, it would seem. His head is in reach from there, even with how much shorter Jack is. 

And Jack, because he always does what BT wants, stands up one his tip-toes to give BT the head pats he so politely requested. 

“Good job, Mama Cooper,” someone calls. “You guys are adorable.” 

Jack decides to ignore them. He and BT are adorable, though, if he says so himself – so he can’t resist giving the Titan just one more pat before BT lets him up to embark.

[darbyoakana]

An Overlord's Tail - Chapter 6

An Overlords Tail Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

Summary: Alastor X reader, F/M. The party is quickly approaching. Things with Alastor escalate, violently.

Warnings: Handjob, blood, cannibalism?. This story is 18+, minors can fuck right off.

Other Notes: Song reference - Loneliest Day by System of a Down Movie reference - Tatum's death in Scream (1996)

Darby Link Tree

____________________________________________

Chapter 6: Control

The party was coming up fast and you were diligently planning. Asmodeus was taking a lot off your plate by providing location, security, bar, and food. For that you were grateful. You had collected the guest list and sent out invites. You spent part of the day at Ozzie’s going over the floor plan and working with their stage manager to book some entertainment. Everything seemed to be in order. 

 Due to it being formal attire, you and Angel went shopping. Angel, of course, picked something very revealing that didn’t quite qualify for formal. But he looked great either way. Angel picked out a form-fitting backless red dress for you. 

“Oh my gawwd, that looks amazing on you. Please get this one.” 

“I don’t know, this thigh slit is really high.” 

“Easy access?” 

“Angel…” you scowled. 

“Come on, don’t try to tell me yah couldn’t use a good lay?”

“I admit, I could relax a bit,” you took a breath. “But- that's why I just plan on drinking too much.” 

“Which will make it easier to tap that. Win-win.” 

“You are the wooorrrstttt.” 

“Haha I know babe,” he smiled. “But yah getting this one right?”  

“Fine, yeah,” you turned around to eye the back. “It does make my ass look great.”

“Hell yah it does.”

“The straps are a little loose though, I’ll see if they’ll alter it,” you pulled the strap back up. “Do you have a date?” 

“Nah, I was kinda hopin' Husk would ask me. How about you?” 

“No, I’ve been too busy planning to even think about it.”

“What about Tenticles, huh?,” referring to Alastor. “He’s gonna lurk around you all night anyways,” pausing to think. “I dunno those tentacles could be a lot of fun.” 

“Oh my god Angel,” you laughed. “I am so glad he is too old to know what hentai is.” 

“Ahaha! So you’ve thought about it!” Angel cackled. “You pervvv!” 

In truth, you weren’t really sure if Alastor liked you. On one hand, he didn’t give physical attention to anyone like he did with you, though it was small. You did feel he was different around you, to some degree he could drop his shields. But on the other hand, you didn’t expect anything from him sexually. And you weren’t going to push for it, you wouldn’t enjoy it if he wasn’t enjoying it. Maybe he needed time to become more comfortable in the situation. Maybe this was an old-fashioned type of deal. You really didn’t know and didn’t want to assume either. You also weren’t sure if you wanted to jump into another relationship with another boss. It all made you uneasy. 

You both returned to the hotel feeling accomplished and excited for the party. Your dress would be delivered later after the straps were adjusted. You had already booked a makeup and hair team to service the staff for the party. The florist had confirmed the order was placed. Everything was coming together. 

You headed up to your room for the evening.

____________________________________________

“Hey, Smiles,” Angel called to Alastor who was sitting at the bar. He took a seat. “You gonna ask our girl to be yah date to the party, or what?” 

“Pardon?” 

“Oh come on. I see the way yah look at her.”

“And how’s that exactly?” 

“Like yah want chop her up and put her in a stew. Which I assume is yah idea of romance.” 

“Perhaps you should mind your own business.”

“Alright, but someone else is bound to ask her,” Angel remarked. “In fact, I think Lucifer was lookin’ for her earlier… Just sayin’.” He waved his hand dismissively and walked away. 

Angel was making it up, Lucifer wasn’t looking for you. But he knew the idea of Lucifer taking you on a date would infuriate Alastor and was trying to motivate him. The idea of asking you himself made him choke. You were becoming a weakness and weaknesses get exploited. This was a passing fancy, he lied to himself, and it would fade.  

Tapping his claws on the glass, he grumbled to himself and finished his drink.  

For the next few days, things at the hotel were slow and with the party set you didn’t have much to do. You lay on your bed, relaxing, and shopping on your phone for some shoes to match your dress. Music turned up loud as you sang along.  “And if you goooo, I wanna go with yooou

And if you diiiie, I wanna die with yoooou

Take your hand and walk awaaaaaaaaay”

The music abruptly stopped. 

“A lovely sentiment indeed.” 

You looked towards your CD player, there was Alastor with his finger on the pause button. 

“My apologies, I knocked,” he explained. “This arrived for you, your party dress I assume.” He hung the garment bag off the door of your wardrobe. “A lovely color,” he eyed the dress.

“Oh, thank you, Angel helped me pick it out.”

 “I was wondering. If you aren’t busy, I have an errand to run. I’d like you to accompany me.”

The store was dated and felt like a museum. Smelt like one too. Items from every era cluttered the shelves. You followed him through the store, rows of dimly lit shelves. Despite being cluttered the store was very well organized. Shelves were labeled by decade. Each item had a price tag with a detailed description of its origin. He led you downstairs, the shop seemed to have endless rooms. He paused at a curtained door. 

“Close your eyes, please,” he asked, holding out his hand. You complied. He led you through the doorway. “Alright, you may open them.” 

You were in a large room with wall-to-wall shelves of VHS movies. You were stunned. They had every film you could think of. It looked a lot like an old video store. You were wide-eyed with excitement. Alastor ate up every nuance change in expression, savoring it. 

“This is amaaaazing. Holy shit!” you looked back to Alastor. 

“Well, we only had five movies left,” he said smugly. “Would  be a shame if we ran out.” 

“This is very thoughtful Alastor..” 

“Why the surprise? I am certainly capable of it,” he waved his hand.

“I’m not questioning your ability, more your willingness,” you laughed. 

“Ouch,” he grabbed his chest dramatically. “You wound me.” 

“Uh huh,” you scoffed, laughing. “Where do we even start, there's so many!” 

“The owner has agreed to let us borrow what we please. If there's something you desire, purchasing is an option.” 

“And he’s doing this out of the kindness of his heart? Or is it the fear you instilled in him?”

“How should I know? I am unaware of his ability for kindness or fear, I couldn’t properly measure.” 

“Suuure,” you rolled your eyes. You skimmed the horror section, grabbing a few favorites. Once the stack was too much for you to hold on your own, you called it. “Alright, I think this should suffice. I know it’s not our usual night but we're gonna watch some of these, yah?”

“Of course my dear, I wouldn’t dream of doing otherwise.”

Upon returning to the hotel you were greeted by Angel and Lucifer at the bar. They encouraged you to join them. The four of you enjoyed a few drinks. Angel talked about some nonsense going on at the studio. Lucifer was exhausted by the latest meeting with Heaven. Everyone seemed excited about the upcoming party. 

“So, toots, you got a date yet?” Angel asked you but looked at Alastor. He glared. 

“Hasn’t really been a priority,” you commented, also glaring at Angel, knowing exactly what he was doing. “But thanks for your concern… What about you Husk? Do you have a date?” you asked, staring at Angel. 

“Uh..” Husk looked from Angel to you and back to Angel, your eyes intensely burning into one another. “Yeah, I’m going to say out of whatever this is…” He held his hands up, backing away from the rest of you. 

Lucifer laughed. He’d been enjoying his time at the hotel. Being around so many people was overwhelming. But when it was small groups like this he felt more comfortable. And what was taking place in front of him was too amusing to pass up. Alastor pretending he wasn’t uncomfortable was delectable to Lucifer. He had caught on right away to what the spider was trying to accomplish. 

“Oh, hmm,” Lucifer said. “I didn’t even think about that. Maybe I should get a date for the party!” He winked at Angel. Angel smirked back. 

“Oh absolutely Your Highness, anyone who anyone is gonna have a plus one,” Angel nudged you. “And I don’t want yah to be a loser, babe.” 

“Says he without a date!” you jabbed back. 

“What about you Alastor?” Lucifer asked loudly. “Are you taking anyone?”

“Why? Is His Majesty interested?” he sneered. “That’s too bad, I’m afraid I have height requirements.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it! You see, I have this rule about not setting myself up for disappointment.”  Lucifer remarked. 

“Then, how pray tell, does His Majesty live with himself?” Alastor snarled. 

You laid your head on the bar top with a groan. You signaled to Husk you needed another drink.

By the end of the evening, everyone at the bar had a few too many. However, everyone else seemed to be handling it better than you were. No real surprise to either you or Alastor. 

You made it up to your floor but tripped getting out of the elevator. The bag of VHSs on your arm clacked as they hit the ground with you. You lay there laughing for a moment until you felt a tug on your hand. Alastor’s shadow wined at you. Alastor was probably already waiting for you in your room. The shadow started to drag you. You couldn’t help but giggle as you were moved down the hall like a sack of laundry. The shadow dropped you in front of your door. 

“Really now, is that any way for a lady to behave?” Alastor said, opening your door and stepping out. 

He chuckled, picking you up over his shoulder and closing the door with his foot. He tossed you on the bed and proceeded to pull a cassette from the stack and placed it into the player. Taking off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves, he then filled the unwatched drawer with the new movies. You tossed your shoes to the floor. 

You enjoyed your secret movie nights with Alastor, it felt like you got to experience a part of him that was just for you. He sat down next to you on the bed, both leaning on the pile of pillows against the headboard.

“Aw man,” you pouted. “I should have made popcorn.”

“Allow me,” he said, snapping his fingers. A bowl appeared in his hand. 

“Ohhh yay!” you reached for the bowl as he pulled away from you. You fell, draped over his lap.  “Heeeyyyyy…” 

“Now now, manners,” he scolded.  

You rolled over onto your back, head still on his lap. You looked up at him with sad puppy eyes. 

“Please Alastor...” 

He shuddered softly. The thought of you begging him sent a chill down his spine. He held his breath and swallowed hard. He resisted the urge to touch you, to see how much more he could make you beg.

“Good girl,” he said, handing you the bowl. 

You didn’t get up, just rolled to the side to see the TV with the bowl in your arm. You shared interesting little tidbits about the movie as it progressed. 

“This part is so stupid,” you laughed. “She could have totally fit through that doggy door.” 

You held up your hand, tilting your arm behind you to offer a few pieces of popcorn to Alastor. He hesitated before eating the kernels from your fingers. Anyone else would be concerned for their phalange's safety, but not you. No one treated Alastor as you did.

Ask her, you ridiculous coward. He fought with himself. He was feeling the stress of his mental dilemma. The fear of having you or not having you. The fear of someone else obtaining you. He glanced at your dress hanging on the wardrobe door.  

“And a standard garage motor is weak as shit. Creative yes, realistic no,” you laughed again. 

He tried to focus on the movie playing, you had said it was your favorite. But every time you laughed or spoke, he could feel the vibrations of your voice on his leg where you lay. Your warm body against his was too distracting. He wasn’t really there for any of the films anyway. His mind wandered, berating himself. The war between what he wanted and what he feared tore him. Could he have such a weakness present in his life? Not only would it put him at risk but you as well. Could he handle something happening to you because of him? 

You adjusted your position. Sitting up, moving from his lap to his chest, leaning more of your body into his. Your head rested below his collarbone. He froze.

“Oh..” you looked up at him, your face close to his. “I’m sorry, I should have asked. Is this okay? Is it too much touching?” 

“No, pet. It’s perfectly fine. Thank you for asking,” he wrapped his arm around you and buried his face in your hair. You let out a soft hum at the sensation. He filled his senses with your scent.

Who were you to treat him the way you did? Pampering him with such gentle kindness. Considering his feelings and needs. Why did he allow it? Why did he endure the attitude and snark you so regularly threw at him? He had killed for far less. But you walk around freely. Wearing his appendage no less. Why did he permit you to continue to exist when you posed such an egregious threat? Alastor demanded control at all times. Nevertheless, you took it out of his hands with such ease. No. He wouldn’t allow it, he told himself. It was time to regain dominion over this situation, he had let it go on long enough. He was the Radio Demon, not some whipped feeble boy. You would do as he wanted, not the other way around. His judgment would not be impaired by anyone, how dare you, he fumed. 

His right hand clutched your hair and bent your head back, left hand at your throat, jerking your face towards his. His stern expression met your startled eyes with determination. But the tender whimper leaving your mouth as you bit your lip dismantled his resolve instantly. Oh fuck, he thought, as he threw caution and control to the wind. His mouth met yours with a ravaging starvation. Your right hand gripped the wrist at your throat, pulling yourself up to straddle him. Harsh breaths and moans pass from his mouth to yours and back again. The hand on your throat drifted down to your hip, wrapping his arm around your waist with a stern tug. He gripped you tightly against him. You moaned. His tongue aggressively dominated your mouth. Your hands gripped his shirt, despite there being no space between you, the distance was unbearable. The hand still in your hair yanked your head to the side, his mouth traveled down your jaw to the crook of your neck. You ground your pelvis into his, and to both your surprise your movements were met with his pulsing erection, bound by his pants. 

Panic started to set in. He felt his self-control slipping. He has had years to master discipline in regards to anger but this was new and uncharted territory. He felt the monster within him stir, craving more. He shoved it down. But with every tilt of your pelvis, the appetite to devour you grew. Desiring to rip the flesh from your bones, savor the taste of your innards sliding down his throat. You ignorant fool, he internally screamed. He had miscalculated once again, of course, you weren’t the threat. He was. 

With a radio static growl, he sank his teeth into your shoulder. You cried out in pain but to his astonishment it only made you grind into him harder. You unbuttoned his pants, freeing his throbbing cock. You curled your fingers around his girth and stroked slowly. His teeth tore into you as his hips bucked. Your screams only fueled the beast lingering inside him. Panting, ragged breaths crept out of his mouth into your ears, spattering blood on your neck. 

“Fu- uuck… Alastor…” you gasped, wanting him to fuck you stupid. “Please…” 

Hearing you plead for him sent him over the edge. A screech of radio static filled the room as he climaxed. His claws cut into your flesh, clawing thick lines of dribbling red across your delicate skin. His neck cracked as his form distorted, eyelids and dial pupils fluttered. Antlers scraped the headboard behind him. Blood dripped from the edges of his mouth, soaking into your shirt, as your palm was filled with warm release.

His back hit the headboard with a thud, breathing hard sharp breaths, and regained clarity. Shaking, he took your face in his hands. Eyes full of trepidation piercing yours. Wanting to say something, anything, but no words came out no matter how hard he tried. He glanced at your gushing wound and with apprehension he watched blood seep out of the puncture marks. Streams of crimson ran down the front of you. 

You heard the bath water start to pour into the tub. Lifting you into his arms, he carried you to the bath, gently lowering you into the tub and removing your shirt. He snapped his fingers and a medical kit appeared. He rummaged through it anxiously while you kept pressure on the injury. You sat in silence as the tub filled with orange and pink swirls; water meeting blood. Alastor sutured your wounds. 

You could hear how uneven his breath was. His mind clearly working overtime. Did you not feel the danger? It wouldn’t have mattered if you tried to escape, it probably would have made things worse. But the fact that you didn’t even try, that you were content in letting him consume you; it frightened him. If you had not brought him to climax and clear mind, would he have sunk deeper into his inner demon and destroyed you? His hand shook as he pulled the nylon thread through your skin. You placed your hand on his. 

“Alastor…” you said gingerly. He didn’t look up. “Alastor, look at me.” 

For a moment his eyes fixated on the wound. But slowly traveled up your bruised neck, over your jawline and up to your eyes. 

“I’m sorry, my darling…” he leaned his forehead against yours. “I didn’t mean to be so rough.” 

“It’s okay,” you squeezed his hand in yours. “Really, it is.”

He washed the blood off you and placed gauze over the stiched-up wound. You changed into fresh clothes while Alastor removed the blood from his hands and face. Usually, when he found himself bloodied, there was a sense of accomplishment and pride. Tonight, however, he felt sick. Exhausted, you laid down in bed. Alastor picked up his coat. 

“Where do you think you are going?” you asked, patting the bed next to you. “I’d like to be held please.” 

You fell asleep in Alastor’s arms, sore and drained. He nuzzled into your hair. How could you still want him after tonight? A twang of inadequacy deflated his confidence. He didn’t understand, the experience wasn’t exactly fulfilling on your end, just abusive. Yet here you were, permitting him to be close, to touch you. 

You awoke in the morning, alone.

[eyeslikewatercoolers]

feeling sad can we please get a Drabble of pregnetra struggling with her new body and Sasha being the best ever 😞😞😞

Anything to not make you feel sad anymore, anon ❤️❤️❤️

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?"

Anetra heard Sasha come into the bedroom about an hour after dinner. She couldn't be bothered with cooking, so pizza was ordered instead. Anetra had two slices before disappearing upstairs while Sasha helped Kerri with her English paper.

"I called in," Anetra simply said, barely looking over the pillow she was clutching over her torso. The TV was on, playing some documentary Sasha started the day before.

Sasha sat on the edge of the bed, in front of Anetra. "Are you not feeling good?" she asked gently, putting the back of her hand on Anetra's forehead.

Anetra didn't answer, unsure what to say. Physically, she felt fine. Which she was grateful for, having a nice break from morning sickness and fatigue.

But emotionally? She'd take her shitty pregnancy symptoms any day over this.

"Can you tell me what's wrong, baby?" Sasha asked quietly, looking Anetra in the eyes.

Anetra felt a familiar lump in her throat, the same frustrations arising from earlier in the day. She took a shaky breath, "Nothing fits me anymore,"

Sasha's eyes turned sympathetic, "Oh, sweetheart..." She said before gathering Anetra in her arms. She pulled Anetra down to lay on the bed with her, letting her head rest on her shoulder.

Anetra threw the pillow she was holding across the bed, opting to hold Sasha instead. Her growing stomach felt more prominent when she lay on her back.

"I don't know how I just...ballooned up everywhere," Anetra started, feeling tears prick behind her eyes. "The only things I can wear are my old shirts and sweatpants," Her side of the closet was a mess, even her leggings could hardly go over her hips.

Anetra continued as Sasha listened and stroked her hair from roots to tips. “I really love this baby, don’t get me wrong. But I hate how fast my body is changing because of it,” she moved as close as she could to Sasha, wanting to feel small against her.

She tried looking at the maternity section on a random Target trip before. Before she knew everything else on her body would grow too. Now her bras felt extra tight and her flannels couldn’t button up.

“I can’t imagine how hard it is, Neech,” Sasha stated. She knew bringing up her own body struggles wasn’t going to help anything in this situation. Transitioning and pregnancy were two different types of hard, yet both extremely rewarding.

Sasha instead continued, “But without you, I wouldn’t ever be able to experience having a baby like this. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate you carrying our baby and our family growing,”

“I don’t have any appointments tomorrow afternoon, how about I take you shopping? And if we can’t find anything, we’ll come back home, no questions asked.” Sasha offered.

Anetra thought for a moment, then nodded. “I’d like that,” she gave a small smile. “Oh, could you help me with something else?” She asked.

“Of course. What is it, baby?”

“Could you help me pack my clothes into storage? I really don’t want to deal with them until I’m not pregnant anymore”

Sasha smiled and kissed Anetra on her hairline. “I’ll get the plastic tubs from the garage, you start folding,” she said as she pulled herself and Anetra back upright. “It’ll be a good start,”

[valentina-arrington]

Should she really be doing this? Wasn't it so selfish of her?

It was the evening of the 30th of the December and Valentina was in her kitchen, lost in thought.

Since having moved back to her mother's hometown in Marbella earlier in the year, Valentina had been spending a lot of quality time with her family to make up for a decade's worth of lost time. That night, it was her turn to host the family dinner, a treat she always looked forward to. But unlike all the other times she's cooked for her family, Valentina's heart had not been in it — or much of anything else — as of late. Though grateful for their time together, recent events have made it that much harder to hide her less-than-spirited mood.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Valentina blinked as her mother's voice brought her back to reality.

"Hmm?"

The older Valentina — to whom she was named after — smiled knowingly, gesturing for her daughter to scoot over so she could take over washing the dishes.

"You've been buried deep in your thoughts lately, my darling," she observed, pulling the yellow rubber gloves over her own two hands. "Everything okay?"

Of course, Valentina wanted to say. But not once has she ever lied to her mother, and starting now would be moot — she'd know immediately. Mothers always know.

"Not really," Valentina admitted as she helped her mother with drying the newly washed dishes, and putting them away.

"A boy?"

Valentina glanced sideways at her mother, in awe. Then, returning her focus back on the task at hand, it took her a couple of minutes to finally nod her head yes.

"The same one who came to visit you a couple of months ago?" Valentina nodded a second time. "You were so happy when he was here," her mother remembered. "Why the sudden change?"

"It's... complicated," she mumbled, unable to look her mother in the eye. An understatement if there ever was one.

"The best things in life usually are. But they don't always have to be." That piqued Valentina's curiosity. "Life is difficult as is, my darling girl, so if there is anything you can do to help the situation in some way or another, don't let anyone or anything hold you back."

Glancing sideways at her mother, it was all she could do not to break down in tears. Oh, how she wished she could just tell her everything, like she's always done in the past. Even when she lived in Mallorca. But she saw no point to it now when everything felt impossible.

Finishing the dishes, the older Valentina wiped her hands clean before placing a doting hand on her daughter's face. Looking her in the eye, she spoke as gently as gentle mothers do.

"It's almost the end of the year, my darling. And it's high time you do something for yourself for once."

"But—..."

Her mother followed her gaze.

There, in the dimly lit living room was her son Diego, slowly nodding off against her brother Oliver's arm. With a quiet movie playing, Oliver seemed to be the only one watching as his wife, Alice, was curled up on his other side, fast asleep.

"He'll be fine, I promise," her mother reassured her. "We'll take good care of him until you come back."

***

An hour and a few goodbyes later, Valentina found herself in line for the ticket counter at the Malaga Airport. Wrecked with nerves, it was her mother's words that echoed in her ear as she waited for her turn. The closer she got to the front of the queue, the louder her heart hammered against her chest.

"Diego will be just fine, Valé," Oliver had reiterated their mother's words as he drove his little sister to the airport. "Being a good mother means you get to be happy, too, you know?"

Valentina hadn't even said anything, how did he know her son's well-being was the root cause of her guilt? Probably the same way their mother knew that something had been bothering her as of late.

"Next please!"

Valentina had to be called twice before snapping out of her thoughts. Heading straight for the next available counter, she greeted the airport staff before quickly apologising for making her wait.

"It's fine, Miss," the lady replied with a gracious smile. "How may I help you?"

This is it. No turning back.

With one deep breath, Valentina reached for her purse. Handing over her credit card and passport, she finally bought the one ticket she'd been so terrified to get. But she figured, despite the uncertainty of the future, she knew she had to see him at least one last time.

Even if it was to say goodbye.

* All conversations are in Spanish.

[emetogirl]

I had something amazing happen last night, but before I share I feel I need to give some context:

My gf is a bit older than I am, and way more experienced with alcohol and bar hopping. When we first met, I had never even thrown up from drinking too much. Throughout our time together, she's taken care of me as I've tested my limits. This is actually quite a big deal for me, as I've never thrown up in front of anyone but my mother. There was one evening in particular when I accidentally mixed alcohol and antibiotics and got extremely ill. At the time I was in denial about being into emeto, but I found myself constantly reliving her taking care of me on that night.

Fast forward to now: I got cross faded last night and had a bit too much. I told her that I felt like I needed to puke, so she went to the bathroom with me. She tied my hair into a bun and started rubbing my back. I gagged a few times but nothing came up, so she offered to use her fingers on my throat. I agreed, and she gently stuck two fingers in and tried to trigger my gag reflex. My whole body shuddered and I almost puked, but nothing came up again. She told me it would be more effective if she did it twice in quick succession, so I let her use her fingers two more times. All the while, she was petting my head with her other hand and telling me I was being a good girl + other gentle encouragements. I was really having trouble bringing anything up, so at one point she even pressed on my stomach while rubbing the back of my throat.

I ended up getting incredibly turned on from the whole thing, and was acting a bit guilty and odd once we finally got to bed. We ended up having sex (although she was nervous about making me sick), and she remarked that I seemed even more into it than usual. I sheepishly admitted that I had gotten really excited when we were in the bathroom and then immediately apologized for sexuallizing a situation that wasn't sexual for her.

She asked me a lot of questions about how my emeto kink works (what turns me on and what doesn't, what I fantasize about etc). She even started teasing me and implied that she was actually trying to turn me on when we were in the bathroom, because she had a suspicion I might be into it. She was completely fine with what had just happened and after I explained everything she just said "Baby, I'll make you puke if you want." I just stared at her in stunned silence for a long minute. "What...what did you say?"

She repeated it and assured me that she was being genuine. She doesn't seem to think it's gross or a big deal; she just wants to indulge me. We've done a somewhat similar kink in the past, so I know she might even get off on it a bit too. I feel so relieved and also grateful I ended up with such an open minded person.

WOAH🔥🔥 this is unbelievably hot n spicy. Please keep us updated!!! Love this story so so much

[underratedandoverit]

You Wanna Wish Away Your Sins (2/3)

After losing to Best Friends at Arcade Anarchy, Kip undergoes shoulder surgery. One person reaching out to him afterwards sends Kip spiraling, turning all the pain and suffering in him into… Flowers? Flowers growing in his lungs?

Kip Sabian/Chuck Taylor. Hanahaki disease. Angst. Hurt/comfort. Emotional hurt/comfort. One-sided attraction. Also tagged this from now on with manipulative Kip.

Marked Mature on AO3 for general content. Warnings for mentions of hospitals, surgery, medical stuff. Described feelings for choking and vomiting.

Other characters on-screen include Penelope Ford. Rest of Best Friends are mentioned. Background ship of Penelope/Kris is heavily implied, but never specifically shown.

part 1 || part 3

On AO3

I really didn't mean to write this for a month but hey mental illness be damned lmao. This is more of a setup for the final act than anything else, I hope it's not super repetitive, I tried to minimize things during editing.

Also this chapter is 7,1k words long I am SO sorry.

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate @ss-trashboat

---------------------------

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes Kip walked into the living room, not being even slightly surprised to see Penelope already standing there. He hadn’t woken up when she had arrived and Penelope didn’t announce her arrival very loudly, which was just fine with him. She had acted more or less as his caretaker since he was discharged from the hospital, both of them knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to take care of himself entirely on his own. Which became very obvious very fast after the first night when Kip had called her in pain after the painkillers had worn off.

“Good morning.”

Penelope perked up a little, eyes shooting over her shoulder towards him, clearly a little surprised as she hadn’t heard him walk into the room. She offered him a smile though. “Morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Better,” Kip shrugged, walking past her towards the kitchen. “It still fucking hurts though.”

“Of course it does,” Penelope stated, leaving the items she was shuffling through on the coffee table, walking after him into the kitchen. “You were literally cut up and sewn back together barely a week ago. It’s not going to pass that fast.”

Kip just nodded absentmindedly, grabbing a cup from the sink before walking over to the coffee maker. Penelope had arranged everything ready for him, learning from the mornings before that food was somehow the first thing in Kip’s mind when he rolled out of bed. He was very grateful for all the work she did for him, knowing that he would most likely barely actually get out of bed if it wasn’t for Penelope to make the early recovery days even somewhat bearable.

After pouring himself a cup of coffee Kip took a seat on one of the stools by the kitchen island, watching as Penelope sat on another seat from across him after sliding a plateful of breakfast items in front of him, observing the Brit as Kip took a sip of his coffee, nodding his head a little as if to give his approval of the quality of it. He averted Penelope’s eyes, her look almost a bit too expecting for him, almost as if she was waiting for him to strike a conversation with her that he didn’t want to have right there and then.

Instead Kip coughed a little, feeling the by now way too familiar scratching in his throat.

Oh god, not now.

“You’ve been coughing so much lately,” Penelope muttered, watching as Kip tried to hide his mouth behind his hand as he hastily set the coffee cup down, having maybe finally learned that he couldn’t use the other to cover his face anymore. Without Penelope noticing – he was fairly sure she didn’t, she would have without a doubt said something – Kip managed to get the few petals out of his lungs, hiding them in his hand before he returned to his coffee, drinking it down in hopes that it would help with the burning in his throat. “Ever since you got back from the hospital. You better not be sick with something.”

“It’s fine,” Kip assured her, his voice hoarse as he cleared his throat a little, still feeling something stuck in there. Penelope just shook her head at him, pushing herself up from her seat, preparing to get back into cleaning the living room like she had been.

“Just make sure I don’t catch it. I have no time to be sick.”

Kip watched as she walked away, letting out a quiet sigh as he glanced at the few purple tinted rose petals in his hand.

“Yeah, I’m sure you won’t be catching this.”

It had been a week, and Kip still didn’t have a solid explanation to any of this. He had tried his absolute best to work it out after the initial freak out in the hospital, but so far there were no answers. When he had coughed the petals up the first time, the nurse that came to his aid after hearing his horrified screams in the hospital room was convinced that the petals were just dropped from the freshly brought set of roses that sat on the nightstand next to the bed and Kip in his tired, painkiller amplified state just didn’t notice neither the flowers nor the petals before. She didn’t take him seriously, only gave him some sedatives to put him in a sleepless slumber so he would stop freaking out.

Ever since then Kip hadn’t told anyone about the petals. Most of the time he managed to keep the coughing to a minimum around other people, like he did around Penelope just now, keeping the petals down in his throat or in the worst case scenario hidden in his mouth until he was alone to get rid of them. The coughing fits came and went, mostly at random and he had little to no control over them, their timing or the intensity, always starting with scratching in his throat until it became unbearable, making it hard to breath, ending with Kip coughing out at least a handful of purple tinted rose petals.

He had thought about telling Penelope about it, but without having close to no idea himself why all this was happening, Kip had decided against it. Penelope was the levelheaded one out of the two of them and she put up with a lot of Kip’s nonsense already, but this might have been above even her understanding. And if Kip couldn’t explain it to even himself, well…

He wasn’t going to risk it with Penelope.

Finishing his plate while pondering through all of this before getting up to get more coffee, Kip poured the petals from his hand into the trash, sighing a little. He had tried researching the phenomena he was experiencing to the best of his ability, but every source he could find was either fictional or made little to no sense to him while he was reading it. The only connecting thread he could find in all of this was the few sets of words that seemed to come up in everything he found, no matter how grounded in reality it was.

Unrequited love.

Flowers growing in his lungs.

Be loved, get surgery… Or die.

Chewing on his lower lip, Kip sat back down to the stool he had stood up from, sipping on a fresh cup of coffee as he dwelt in his thoughts. He wasn’t really sure what it all meant, but he sure had noticed that as time passed with him coughing the petals, it seemed like the throat scratching got worse over time and he had a harder time catching proper amounts of air into his lungs. At first Kip had just put it down as the fault of the medication, but the more he looked into this whole thing, it seemed like this was definitely a lot worse than just medication messing with his body or the short time he had been in bed rest already messing him up physically.

There was something else, as another coughing fit reminded him of, making a few petals drop onto the counter of the kitchen island. Kip stared at them for a moment, slowly wiping them to the floor. Watching them gently float down until they were out of his view Kip sighed.

How did something so beautiful make him hurt so much on the inside? And maybe even more importantly, why?

“…Are you even listening?”

Kip’s eyes shot up, meeting Penelope’s gaze as she leaned against the door frame at the kitchen entrance, arms crossed over her chest. By her reaction Kip was thinking she hadn’t actually seen the petals still, but he had been too deep in his own thoughts the past few moments to notice her talking to him from the living room.

Kip shook his head slowly. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Penelope sighed, but her features clearly softened as he finally replied to her. “I was just asking if you needed me around today for anything. Or if it’s okay if I leave.”

Kip sipped his coffee, eyeing Penelope for a moment. She had done so much for him that he never asked for, just because they were friends and she lived close by, and was one of the people he trusted the most, knowing their shared background and the work they’d done together and everything. Penelope had been the first person Kip had called when he heard his shoulder required surgery, she was the one that made sure he got in and out of the hospital with this whole ordeal, and now she was here, caring for him when he had asked for none of it.

He finally shook his head again. “I think I can handle myself for a day. I don’t feel worse than before today.”

“Which reminds me,” Penelope spoke up, walking back into the living room for a moment. Kip raised a brow at her as she re-emerged into the kitchen, but his face twisted into a little smile as he watched Penelope slide his pillbox across the kitchen island towards him. “Your meds. Remember to take them.”

Lowering the coffee cup from his hand Kip pulled the pillbox closer, struggling a little to open the correct container with one hand, eventually managing it on his own. He could feel Penelope’s eyes burning holes to the top of his head as she watched him wrestle with the small box, but it was obvious that she wasn’t going to step in before Kip asked her to. She knew he was slowly learning to do things like this on his own, and that she just needed to give him time with them.

“What would I do without you,” Kip sighed with a smile tucking in the corner of his lips as he finally observed the pill he managed to free from its plastic prison, popping it into his mouth, drinking it down with the coffee he had at hand. Penelope just rolled her eyes at him a little, but couldn’t help but to smile. “Well, today you have to figure it out. I’m heading out with Kris.”

Kip nodded, hand reaching for the pillbox again as he snapped the lid of the container shut, handing it back to Penelope. She knew where to store it and how to fill it better than he did, though Kip would eventually have to learn that as well.

“Shopping trip with the girls?”

Penelope grabbed the pillbox from him, Kip being sure he saw a soft blush crossing her cheeks as she giggled a little. “More like A Date with The Girl.”

Her enthusiasm was so obvious with the emphasis she put on her words that Kip couldn’t help but to smile at her, watching Penelope twirl a coil of her hair around her finger as she proceeded to leave the kitchen again to handle her business with the pillbox. His happiness for her was short lived unfortunately, as Kip could feel the by now way too familiar scratching on his throat again all of a sudden, only this time even stronger than at any point this morning so far. It almost felt like something was trying to make its way forcefully out of him, like sharp nails scraping against the walls of his lungs, ripping them to pieces.

And then the doorbell rang.

Penelope quickly showed back up to the doorway, Kip trying to hide the sudden struggle to breathe as she beamed at him, obviously very happy about her upcoming day.

“That’s probably Kris. I’ll see you later, text me if you need anything, I can stop by when I’m heading back home.”

Kip just nodded back at her with a small thumbs up, trying to keep on a false smile as he tried to hold the coughs back. He watched Penelope leave the doorway, disappearing from his view again, and as soon as she did, Kip sprung up on his feet, almost throwing himself to the sink as a wave of petals forcefully made its way out of him through his mouth. Gasping for air between a few small waves of rose petals exiting him, he leaned against the kitchen sink, barely keeping himself up on his feet, feeling like the air had been completely punched out of him.

Wiping a shaky hand over his face, Kip tried to take a deep breath as he closed his eyes, the burning worse than it had been since the first time he had vomited the petals out that night in the hospital. He could feel the sweat on his forehead and tears stinging in the corners of his eyes, reminding himself much of the worst hangovers of some of his younger years. And yet, somehow, this was nothing like that and far worse than anything he had ever experienced at the same time.

“Kip?”

He slowly straightened up, holding himself up against the sink with one hand, turning around to lean back against it. Opening his eyes Kip looked across the room back at Penelope, the worry and confusion clearly written on her face, though Kip was definitely quick to reflect that same emotion back at her, having thought that she had already left.

“Are, are you okay?”

Kip just waved his hand a little, offering her a weak smile. It probably wasn’t very convincing, but it was the best he could do at the moment, to give her a small amount of peace of mind if nothing else.

“I… I don’t think the painkillers are still sitting very well with me today.” He inhaled deeply, finally getting some air into his lungs that didn’t burn, surprisingly enough considering how different the situation had just been mere seconds ago. “But I thought you left.”

“Well, yeah, Kris is outside.” Kip’s eyes narrowed a little, brows furrowing in confusion. “But, uh, there is… Someone here to see you.”

Before Kip could ask, Penelope stepped a bit deeper into the kitchen, leaving the doorway open for a brief moment before another figure stepped through it. Upon seeing the man enter the kitchen, his kitchen in his house, Kip could feel something tightening in his chest as his fingers grasped onto the edge of the sink behind him just a little bit tighter. No, this time it certainly wasn’t his lungs filling up with rose petals to the point of nearly bursting out of him.

This ache was coming straight from his heart upon seeing the slightly awkward Chuck Taylor standing just a few feet away from him.

Kip didn’t register his greeting, only saw Chuck slightly wave his hand at him. Kip’s eyes shot over to Penelope, clearly begging for help as he wasn’t sure at all how to handle the situation that had suddenly evolved around him, which she thankfully understood as she walked up to him, Kip mentally letting out a sigh of relief watching her walk around the kitchen island to the side where she couldn’t possibly see the content in the kitchen sink. The last thing he wanted to do right now was to explain to her why he had gotten sick with odd colored rose petals.

“What is he doing here?” Kip whispered, eyes darting between Penelope and Chuck, despite knowing how awfully clear it made it in this situation that the other man in the room was the topic of their secretive conversation. Chuck just avoided eye contact, almost pretending that he wasn’t there as the two blonds continued their whispering, just looking around the kitchen walls as if he found them extremely interesting.

“Kris drove him here. He said he wanted to see you, insisted even. Talked about some apology or something.”

Kip’s brain was reeling, putting the pieces together slowly. He hadn’t heard anything back from Chuck since he had gotten back from the hospital and replied to the other man’s initial message, having just been left on read. Kip honestly hadn’t expected anything more out of that offer, just assuming in the moment of Chuck hearing that he was going into surgery and holding himself responsible for it, he crumbled and sent the message.

This was the last thing Kip would have expected him to do, and even less so Chuck being the one doing it, especially without Kip asking for that help he was offering.

“Do you want me to chase him out?”

Kip’s widened eyes finally landed back onto Penelope, it dawning on him that he never actually told her that Chuck had reached out to him about the surgery. Maybe it was given, considering how Kip had ended up there and how basically everyone had messaged him about it around that time, so it wouldn’t be as odd to think that Chuck did it too.

Maybe Kip was the only one making it odd and awkward by thinking that it was.

Especially as in the moment he also realized that he never told Penelope that he might have real feelings for Chuck, either.

“Kip?” He blinked at her, but didn’t respond. “I really gotta go, Kris is waiting outside. Just a word and I’ll drag him out with me.”

Kip slowly shook his head, his mind still spinning as he was trying to put the whole situation together. He wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, to keep Chuck at arms reach like this especially if they were going to be alone with just the two of them, but at the same time something was telling Kip that he needed to do this. For the sake of his own sanity, if nothing else.

For the sake of… Whatever this thing was that was wrong with him, as he couldn’t shake off the feeling that all of this was related somehow. And this was as good of an opportunity as any, at least in his mind right then, to try to get at least a little bit closer to some answers. And Chuck himself, for that matter.

“It’s… It’s fine,” Kip finally spoke up, eyes traveling from Penelope to Chuck, who still tried to look interested in anything else in the kitchen than the two of them. A small smile tucked the corner of Kip’s lips, Penelope without a doubt noticing it too as she remained silent, but her eyes surrounded by the perfectly done makeup narrowed slightly. “I’ll see what he wants. I think I can handle it.”

“…Are you sure?” Kip turned back towards her, seeing a real flash of worry in Penelope’s eyes. “After what happened and he… You know.”

Kip watched Penelope motion towards his arm hanging on the sling, the girl biting her lip a little as she was trying to be careful about choosing her next words correctly. “After all of this, are you sure you want to be alone with him?”

He wanted to laugh, but held the sound back, just smiling at Penelope a little, hoping it would melt off at least some of her concerns. They were valid points, Kip admitted that, even if Penelope already knew that what had happened to Kip wasn’t Chuck’s fault in the slightest.

“It’s Chuck Taylor. He wouldn’t hurt an already injured man. It’s all good.”

Penelope clearly wasn’t still entirely convinced of this, but she knew better than to stall the inevitable and continue to debate this with Kip, so instead she just gave a little pat on his healthy arm, offering him a smile. “Just… If he tries anything or you need help, just let me know, okay? I’ll –”

“It’s okay. You go enjoy the day with Kris. Don’t worry about me.”

She honestly wanted to fight him on it, but the smile Kip returned to her made Penelope drop the topic. With a sigh she turned on her heels, eyes landing on Chuck as she approached him on her way out of the kitchen, nudging him closer by tucking the sleeve of his shirt, whispering something to him that Kip couldn’t hear. He could have sworn he saw a quick flash of almost fear in Chuck’s eyes though, making it fairly obvious what sort of words Penelope was giving to him. Chuck just nodded before Penelope let him go, the blonde sending Kip a quick look and a nod before she exited the kitchen, leaving the two men awkwardly standing there as Chuck slowly looked at Kip from across the kitchen island as they both could hear the front door of the house being closed.

“Uh… Hi?”

Chuck waved an awkward hand at him again, Kip forcing a small smile on his lips as he shook his head a little. He honestly felt a little bad for lying to Penelope, as he had no actual idea what it would be like when they were left alone together with just the two of them with Chuck, Kip just assumed that the other man was as well-behaved as he had convinced to himself that Chuck was. After all, there was never an actual intention to hurt Kip, the way things had happened was just an unfortunate coincidence.

“Would you like some coffee?” Kip tried to offer him a smile, motioning towards the coffee maker on the counter next to him with his free hand. Chuck glanced over at it, nodding his head a little, though he was clearly hesitant. Kip returned the gesture, turning on his heels to reach for a coffee cup on the dish drying rack next to the sink before walking over to the coffee maker. Only then it seemed to click in Chuck’s mind that he was basically asking a one armed man for some awkward hospitality, even if it was in his own house, making him quickly round the kitchen island to the coffee maker.

“I got it, I got it,” Kip just smiled at him, Chuck stopping next to him to observe as Kip poured coffee into the cup, easily sliding the coffee pot back into its original place afterwards. “Just because I’m one arm short doesn’t mean I’m completely incapable.”

“I-I know, I was just--”

“Don’t worry about it.” Kip shook his head, trying to keep the smile on his face despite the awkward feel of the moment. He couldn’t get on Chuck’s nerves now, Kip had to remind himself that Chuck was just here to help. To apologize. He was here to make peace, and Kip didn’t need to treat him like the villain of this story that he definitely even wasn’t.

Pushing the thoughts aside from his mind, Kip reached over to the kitchen island, picking the coffee cup he used before into his hand, finishing the coffee in it before pouring himself a new cup. At this point it was more of a formality to keep his hands occupied and hopefully to make Chuck feel a little less awkward than he would be if he was the only one around enjoying a drink, than Kip actually needing another cup of caffeine to get him started on the day.

With Kip taking the charge, he led the two of them out of the kitchen and into the living room, motioning Chuck to take a seat on the couch. Kip wasn’t sure how long he had planned this visit to last, as Penelope had only mentioned that Chuck was here to present him with an apology of some sort. Kip already had a pretty good idea what he was about, the texts he had received from Chuck on the day of his surgery were permanently burned into his mind, and they hadn’t talked about it since Kip had sent him an acknowledging response a day later.

“So how are things?”

Kip looked at Chuck, shrugging a little as he sipped on his coffee.

“You don’t look terrible,” Chuck continued before the silence could linger around them for longer, making anything he said sound desperate and more awkward than it already was. “I mean. For someone who had surgery only like a week ago. Sorry.”

Kip shook his head with a soft chuckle. “Don’t worry, that’s still nicer than anything Penelope has told me all week.”

Chuck hummed a little in response before focusing more on his coffee, but Kip was certain he could see a little smile twitching in the corner of his lips before they disappeared behind the cup. Which was a relief to him, knowing that at least his little quip was funny enough to ease some of the clear tension in the living room. He was getting a good grade in being a good host today.

“Speaking of Penelope.” Kip raised a brow at the sudden direction the conversation was taking, him having not expected it, especially being told earlier what Chuck was here for. “She spends a lot of time here these days, huh?”

Kip’s eyes narrowed a little, him not really liking the tone that such a question was presented to him with, as usually people asking about the relationship between him and Penelope thought there was something more than genuine friendship going on there. Kip would have thought especially Chuck would know better than to ask such questions, him being friends with Kris and all who could have easily told him the true nature of things.

Besides, Kip absolutely did not want Chuck to have the wrong idea about the things that were going on with him and Penelope.

“She’s the one friend that lives close enough to help me out, with, you know, all of this.” Kip motioned at his arm hanging on the sling, watching Chuck nod back to him. “…And you do know she’s dating Kris, right? You’re friends with her, if someone should know, it should be you.”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Chuck muttered, taking another sip of his coffee. “Just… Looking out for her, you know?”

Kip was really hoping that wasn’t actually all Chuck was trying to achieve with that line of questioning, but he remained quiet, both men just focusing on their coffee as the silence finally fell into the living room. Probably with anyone else Kip would have found the silence comfortable, but with Chuck around like this all of a sudden, with minimal explanation on what he was actually doing here after everything, it was just making Kip a bit uneasy. He wasn’t going to push the issue at least immediately, in hopes that he wouldn’t annoy Chuck too much.

Kip finally had some alone time with him. He hadn’t seen Chuck in person for a week and a half, and before that they didn’t spend time together outside of a few rare occasions when they were somewhere with a group of other people. And now he was here, sitting on his couch, drinking his coffee out of one of his coffee mugs, observing his decor in his living room. It was more than Kip had ever asked for, more than he had ever hoped for, and quite honestly with how things had been going the past week, it was something Kip desperately needed.

Having Chuck Taylor in such a close proximity as this was the chance Kip needed in hopes of trying to make all of this right. To make all of this make sense.

“But really though,” Chuck’s voice finally broke the silence again after a moment, almost startling Kip out of his thoughts. “How are you doing? It can’t be easy to deal with everything with one arm.”

“No, not really. Especially when it’s your non-dominant arm.”

Chuck winced a little at the mere thought, Kip just carefully shrugging one shoulder. “Yeah, it sucks, but what can you do. It could be worse, I could have no arms.”

“That would really be the worst case possible, huh?”

Kip chuckled at him, humming a little as he sipped on his coffee again. This seemed to be going well now, at least by his standards. Being able to just joke around like this with someone other than Penelope despite his current condition was refreshing, usually Kip had to deal with people wanting to talk about this topic more seriously than he did. Sure, it was a rather serious situation, he wouldn’t have required surgery otherwise, but that didn’t mean he needed to be all grave and gloom about it at all times. And at least Chuck was throwing that mentality back at him even a little bit, which Kip just found kind of nice.

“I’d imagine you get bored easily, dealing with all of this. Not really being able to do anything and all.”

“Sometimes,” Kip muttered, eyes almost on instinct landing on the tv remote on the coffee table. “Especially if I don’t have any company. You can’t really play games or something with just one hand, so I just end up watching a lot of things. I can’t tell you the amount of shows I’ve binged in the past week alone compared to maybe the rest of my entire life.”

Chuck nodded, silently pondering over his words, Kip picking it up as a sign to continue. “You just kind of realize how used you are to having two functional arms and how much easier even simple household activities are. Cooking is so much easier when you can lift a pot full of water with both hands. Showering feels incredible when you don’t have to be extra careful about your cuts and stitches. Being awake without having to take painkillers, let alone sleeping through the entire night without waking up to excruciating pain… You know what I mean.”

“Yeah…” Chuck’s voice drifted off, Kip stealing a curious glance towards him. Chuck was staring at the bottom of his coffee cup, clearly contemplating on something, and Kip was slightly worried about being able to decipher a look of distress on his face. Kip almost wanted to ask him about it, but thought better of it, not wanting to derail this relatively relaxed conversation to whatever else was in Chuck’s mind. Unfortunately for him, Chuck had other thoughts, as he slowly shook his head, inhaling sharply, Kip’s eyes shooting towards him almost a little bit too quickly.

“Listen, I…” His voice was quiet, Chuck stopping to think again for a moment, not bearing to look back at Kip who he most definitely felt staring at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I never meant to hurt you like that. I’m so sorry about everything that happened.”

His words registered pretty fast, but it still took a moment in Kip’s mind to connect everything together. Biting his lip his eyes shot away from the other man, mentally beating himself up for whatever he said that brought up this topic so suddenly. Kip had wanted to avoid talking about this for as long as possible, of course the moment Penelope had said that Chuck wanted to apologize for something Kip knew this was eventually going to be talked about, but they were having such a nice time just moments before. They were just having a regular conversation, a thing that they rarely ever did together, and it all just felt so nice at least to Kip.

Most importantly right now though, Kip needed to tell him the truth. Chuck still clearly lived with the belief that he had caused all of this, that Kip’s injury was his fault and that it all happened because of the bump he had initiated, even if it was under mutual understanding and agreement. Kip hadn’t talked about it with him so far, having avoided saying anything about it, in texts or in person, kind of just hoping that it wasn’t being brought up. When Chuck had said in the initial text messages that he was sorry, Kip had honestly thought that that was it, especially since they didn’t talk about it after that in the past week at all. Well, they hadn’t talked at all in the past few days to be honest, but that had just solidified it in Kip’s mind that this conversation was over before it even happened to begin with.

Unfortunately for him, he was wrong about it. And now Kip needed to deal with it, and probably face the consequences of not telling Chuck the truth immediately, having left him to live with the regret of causing this much pain and suffering to Kip up until this point. All he needed was to tell Chuck the truth, to be honest about it, to just say it wasn’t his fault. That’s all Kip needed to do.

“It’s…”

Tell him the truth.

“It’s fine. Accidents happen.”

Fuck.

Chuck nodded, somehow looking even more discouraged than he did before. Kip knew exactly why, but he couldn’t bring himself to correct his words.

The only thought in his mind was that if he told Chuck the truth, he would just walk away from him. Just like how he had left Kip on read for a week after reaching out to him when Kip had told him that surgery went well and everything was okay, Kip was afraid that Chuck would leave him now if he knew this wasn’t actually his fault.

It was just a little white lie, and if it was giving Kip a chance to spend time with Chuck, to maybe fix this entire thing, it was worth it all to him.

Almost on cue at the thought, Kip felt a familiar scratching in his throat. Almost as if it was mocking him, making fun of Kip for not being able to tell Chuck what was really going on. The shame gnawing on him on the inside, Kip tried his best to push the feeling aside, letting out a quiet cough, hoping it would help with the growing burning in his lungs.

“It could have happened to anyone. It’s the risk we take.”

Chuck didn’t reply back to him, but he was in deep thought, processing Kip’s words. Kip tried to hold himself back from explaining any further, not wanting to make things sound any worse than they probably already were in Chuck’s mind, him thinking that all this really was his fault. It could lead into something in this scenario that Kip didn’t want, expose his lies or drag him down deeper than he wanted to go with this whole thing, at least for the time being. Maybe eventually he was ready to tell Chuck the truth, if it even mattered at that point anymore.

The honest truth right now was that the less Chuck knew, the better chances Kip had at keeping him close by. And the closer Chuck was to him, the easier it was for Kip to try to decipher this riddle he was living with that included rose petals coming out of his lungs every now and then, but especially when Kip was thinking about the man sitting next to him on the couch just a little bit too long.

He coughed again, watching from the corner of his eye as Chuck shot a quick look that almost resembled worry towards him.

“I’m fine,” Kip smiled a little at him, coughing again. It was getting worse, he could feel it, so Kip quickly pushed himself up on his feet. He could never quite predict when or how forcefully the petals would be pushing out of him, so the sooner he got out of sight before it happened, the better. “I’m just going to get some water. Do you need anything from the kitchen?”

Chuck shook his head slowly, watching as Kip spun around on his heels, making his hurried exit from the living room and into the kitchen. He was barely able to make it back to the sink as he coughed again, loudly and almost violently as the purple tinted petals he was so used to by now appeared again, landing to the bottom of the kitchen sink where the previous pile was still waiting to be cleaned up. Kip tried to keep the noises down, not wanting to draw attention to himself and his condition, knowing how difficult it would be to explain. He struggled with it himself, he had not told Penelope about it, Chuck was the last person Kip wanted to know anything. Especially if this was all caused by him, indirectly or not, as Kip had thought all this occurred.

Kip straightened himself up against the sink, glancing over his shoulder towards the doorway, being quietly thankful that he found it empty. He was worried that Chuck would follow him, especially after the wretched noises Kip was making, just to check on him, but apparently he wasn’t loud enough. That, or Chuck just didn’t care about them, which was a thought Kip immediately pushed away as he could feel it causing more burning in his throat, not wanting to deal with another wave of petals.

He ran the faucet, waiting for the water to turn cold, watching as the flowing water grabbed some of the petals from the sink to play around with. Kip found it odd that every time they got out of him, the petals were almost in near perfect condition – he had never seen one that was torn up, they were almost all identical and symmetrical to one another as far as he had compared, and every time they were almost like freshly plucked straight from a flower. Kip never threw up anything else when the petals exited his body, it was almost like they came from a completely different source than anything else a normal human being would be throwing up.

And as they swirled around in the sink while Kip reached his coffee cup underneath the running water, he thought that in all this time he had never seen one wither away no matter how much time passed. He still had some in the trash from earlier in the week and they still looked exactly the same, hell he kept one petal to examine it later from the first night he threw them up in the hospital, and it remained unchanged since then.

Pulling the coffee cup back to himself, now filled with water, Kip took a sip from it, feeling it make him feel slightly better. The back of his throat was still burning, he could feel the scratching somewhere in his chest, but after ejecting some of the petals again the feeling was milder than before. That’s how it always went, Kip had learned that much. It was one of the two things he could count on, the other one being that somehow whenever his mind wandered off to Chuck, these things started to happen. He understood the connection from what he had been able to discover about this condition, but it still baffled Kip that this could happen in the first place.

Finishing the cup of water Kip poured himself another one, returning to the living room. Before he could get there though, he stopped in the doorway, hearing Chuck talking to someone. Staying out of sight on the side of the kitchen, Kip peeped into the living room carefully, hoping Chuck wasn’t able to see him, spotting the brunet still sitting on the couch, now with his phone pressed against his ear.

“Yeah man, I think I have to stay here for a while.”

Kip’s brows furrowed but he remained silent, his heart doing an extra lap as he realized Chuck’s words. Him? Stay? Here?

“Listen, I don’t really like it either, but… I kinda did promise him that if he needed something, I would be there, since… You know.”

Kip leaned against the door frame, pulling his head back into the kitchen, just sipping on his water and listening. Chuck was right, he had promised that after all. Kip hadn’t said anything about needing help or company today, but apparently Chuck had decided that he needed it. Which Kip was thankful for, more ways than he could express or actually say out loud, honestly.

“Just for today. Look-- Trent, let me finish. I’m just gonna keep him company today, okay? We can do stuff tomorrow. I promise.”

Kip nodded to himself, pushing himself off from the door frame before he inhaled deeply, walking back into the living room as if nothing had happened and he hadn’t heard anything just now. He just smiled at Chuck, who quickly got off the phone as the Brit arrived back, taking a seat on the couch. Kip sipped on his water, not wanting to directly jump into asking Chuck about the call to expose himself as a filthy eavesdropper, but at the same time Kip didn’t really know where to take the conversation from here.

“So uh.” Kip glanced at Chuck, watching the man just shrug a little as his hand reached for the remote on the coffee table, Kip raising a questioning brow at him. “Would you like to… I dunno, hang out or something? Since Penelope isn’t here, so you don’t get bored or whatever.”

Kip took another sip of his water, almost pretending to ponder over the question for a while as Chuck turned the television on without waiting for his answer, surfing through the channels to try to find something interesting enough for both of them to busy themselves with. Of course Kip wanted him around, it had been the only thing he had been thinking about since Chuck showed up unannounced earlier. He was the key to all of this after all, and even if he wasn’t, Kip would be lying if he said that he didn’t want this chance to be around Chuck today. Or any chance that ever presented itself for them to hang out, really.

“Since you’re already here, why not.” Kip kicked himself mentally for trying to sound almost too nonchalant about it. The last thing he needed was to give Chuck the wrong idea about how much he actually wanted him to be there. He had to find the perfect balance, just enough to make sure Chuck knew Kip wanted him, but also that Chuck didn’t know that Kip wanted him. He needed to make that connection, but not ruin it with his over enthusiasm so he wouldn’t preemptively ruin it all. “I also have some games I think you might be interested in.”

Chuck nodded, watching Kip lower the coffee cup from his hand before motioning towards the tv stand and the cabinets underneath it to emphasize his point. As Chuck stood from the couch to check out the selection Kip spoke about, the Brit allowed himself to sink into his own thoughts for a brief moment, trying to convince himself that this was a good idea.

This was what he needed. This was the breakthrough he had been looking for. Chuck Taylor was right there, within his grasp, and all Kip needed to do from this point forward was to make sure that Chuck fell madly in love with him.

[bus-stop-to-kpop]

TXT Reaction #2 - Y/N is scared of fireworks

Requested?: No

Word Count: 100 - 200 each

A/N: I didn’t manage to post this last year so I waited a literal year only to almost miss my time to post it again. (┬┬﹏┬┬) Anyways I hope you have a nice New Years eve and a good start to 2023!! Lots of Love from Admin J

Yeonjun:

Yeonjun was aware of your fear of fireworks, you had told him before but said you would still go to watch them with him.

He was grateful for you trying to put your fear aside for him, but quickly realized you were more uncomfortable that you had predicted.

A few hours before midnight the two of you were strolling around the streets when the first people already started off their fireworks.

Even though you tried to hide your reaction, Yeonjun who had his arm around yo, felt your body flinch with every explosion.

"That's not it. Let's go somewhere else." Before you could even protest Yeonjun was pulling you into the opposite direction.

He came to a stop in front of a karaoke room and pulled you inside with him.

"But you were so excited to watch the fireworks?" You felt guilty about making him miss it. "It doesn't matter, it's the same as last year anyway. This year I wanna enjoy some nice karaoke with you." He smiled brightly to assure you it was fine, before handing you a mic and picking your favorite song.

Soobin:

Soobin gets scared when you tell him there's something he needs to know. The way you sit him down on the sofa and look at him all serious gets him nervous.

His mind wanders, what could have happened for you to be like this. But when you tell him you can't go to watch the fireworks with him because you're scared he just laughs.

Not because he's making fun of you, but simply because he's relieved that it's nothing serious.

Actually as an introvert, he's very happy to be able to stay home together with you instead of being out there in the cold, stuck between the people in the crowd who want to watch the fireworks.

So you order food, play some board games and when it's shortly before midnight Soobin puts on some music so you don't have to hear the explosions of the fireworks.

Beomgyu:

He already knew of your fear, so he didn't even plan to go out. Instead he invites you to his studio, you know, because it's soundproof. The sound of fireworks can't reach you there.

He has various different foods delivered so the two of you can eat all evening long. He even buys a little bit of alcohol from the store nearby, before you arrive.

"Woah, isn't that a bit much." You laugh seeing everything he got spread out on the small table in his studio. Beomgyu insists that all this food is necessary so the two of you survive the night.

After eating you decide to mess around with the equipment recording some stuff as jokes, but Beomgyu surely is going to use it as adlibs in the future only so he can have your voice in one of his songs.

Both of you don't even notice the time has passed so fast and midnight is already over until Beomgyu gets a call from his family to wish both of you a happy new year.

Taehyun:

You didn't tell him about your fear, scared that he would think it's ridiculous and childish, even though Taehyun would never think that.

Deciding that facing your fear might help you get over it, you met up with Taehyun at the park. Looking for a spot to lay down your blanket so you could sit down while watching the fireworks.

Taehyun noticed something was off though, you weren't as cheerful as usual and you seemed nervous.

"Are you alright?" 'He asked as he sat down next to you on the blanket. You nodded your head but it was obvious to Taehyun you were lying so he asked again.

With a sigh you told him about your fear of fireworks and how you had been scared to tell him, not even noticing the single tear rolling down your face until Taehyun wiped it away.

It was too late to go back home now, the clock closing in on midnight, so Taehyun looked through the bag he brought for his noise cancelling headphones to ensure that you could still look at the fireworks without getting scared by the loud explosions, while he held you close to him to keep you calm and protected.

Huening Kai:

Kai had brought you to a New Years Party with him, without knowing of your fear.

At first it was all fun and games, you were having fun at the party with Kai and his friends, laughing and drinking.

But the closer it got to midnight the more nervous you got. It was obvious everyone was excited for the fireworks but you.

So when everyone went to gather outside to watch them you excused yourself to the restroom for a minute.

Kai was nervous, it was only a minute until midnight and you still weren't back, were you feeling unwell? He decided to go look for you, getting confused when he found the restroom empty.

He finally found you in the kitchen looking outside while holding yourself to calm you down. Kai hurries to you asking what's wrong, so you have no choice but to explain your fear to him.

Kai hugs you tightly as fireworks start going off outside, "I want you to feel comfortable an safe." He doesn't mind if that means he won't get to the see the fireworks.