#like. spending a whole lot of time with her? like we were friends in elementary and then didn't really talk for a while and dated in tenth

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 11 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 12

Making the scrapbook was cathartic. Remembering the good times, the innocence of your childhood, was as much of a joy as it was painful. The pictures were all quite good quality since Abuela had had a film camera. Some photos had been taken with a digital camera, which had probably originally belonged to the Georges and ended up in your possession somewhere along the way.

Regina and yourself playing in the Georges' backyard and swimming in their pool, beaming smiles directed at the camera. You could almost hear the laughter. I miss when we used to be able to just have fun together like this. I guess it's a part of growing up.

Regina in a white frilly dress, carrying a small basket of flower petals, donning a crown of roses on her head. She was pouting, clearly unimpressed by the whole thing. You hadn't been at the wedding since it was a George event, but Regina's mom had been so elated her daughter had gotten to be the flower girl. I remember I was so jealous you got to go to a wedding and I couldn't. You hated it, though, which was funny. You used to leave the room whenever your mom insisted we watch the tape. I wonder if she still has it.

You sitting with Regina, hip to hip, on plastic chairs while a newlyborn Kylie slept in your laps. Regina, eyes stuck on her baby sister and a thoughtful look on her face, while you looked at the camera with a smile. She's growing up so fast. Don't think I don't know you care about her. There's gonna be a time you'll regret not spending time with her. I already feel it.

Mrs George, Abuela, Regina, Kylie in her mom's arms, and you grouped together at a parking lot. You and Regina had on little graduation gowns and had scrolls in your hands. Elementary school graduation. The summer before middle school. End of an era. I love your mom's clothes, they're so nineties. Does she still have those jeans? You should get ahold of them before somebody else does...

Remember when I sliced my hand open when we were peeling apples? That was a time for sure. I still have the scar!

You taped pictures onto the pages, wrote little things here and there, hoping the labour of your love wouldn't end up in the garbage. Or if it did, Regina would read skim through it first.

I think this album was the first time we agreed on music. Britney Spears really brought us together, huh? We even learned the choreography of Baby One More Time. Mrs George loved it. I bet there's a video of that somewhere.

Mostly the scrapbook was filled with anecdotes about your childhoods together. You did write a letter of sorts on the first page, regarding your intentions with the whole thing.

I made this for you to commemorate the good times we had. You know me regrettably well, so I think you know how I tend to hold onto things. I still have that gaudy pink Build-A-Bear you made me for Valentine's Day that one time. It's one of my most important possessions, only second to the memories we have together. You'll always be a friend to me, Reggie. If not forever, or from now on, then back then. I love you. Yours, Jorts.

You'd pretty much finished the whole thing by the end of the weekend. You spent Monday and Tuesday decorating the front cover, mostly because you purposefully put it off. You cut out letters from magazines and glued them there, painstakingly forming the words Reggie & Jorts. You'd tried to come up with something clever, but making a pun or a dumb joke felt like cheapening the whole album. A simple name made up for with fabulous decorations!

You weren't much of a painter, but you figured it'd be fitting if the album reflected its contents. It was fine if the roses you painted looked like a five-year-old did them. A good majority of the pictures featured you and Regina huddled around a crafts table, similar projects scattered all around you, young with clumsy hands but filled with artistic passion.

The album in itself was an earthy green colour, something Regina undoubtedly found ugly. The flowers brightened it up somewhat, but there was only so much ages-old acrylic paints could do. You outlined some with Sharpies. If you didn't know better, one could assume it looked like that on purpose.

You took it with you to school on Wednesday. You had it weighing your backpack down the whole day. You sweated under all your layers, and by the end of it, you were sure you were sporting some epic pit stains. Gross, but you were so nervous. You hadn't broken into anyone's locker in so long. And it was Regina George's locker.

You loitered around the hallways as they emptied out steadily, people heading home or off to extracurriculars. As you approached Regina's locker, you swallowed down your nervousness and got to work.

It wasn't hard. The combination locks were all old and weak, more of a formality than an actual barrier between one's stuff and a burglar. The lock clicked open easily and you wasted no time in stuffing your album inside.

"Hey!" Just as the resounding click of the lock going back into place came, a voice called out to you. "What are you doing with Regina's locker?"

"Uhh..." Gretchen Wieners stood at the intersection of hallways, hands on her hips and accusatory eyes burning holes in you. You made the swift decision that you did not have time for this. You booked it.

"Hey! Get back here!" Gretchen, surprisingly considering her heels, started after you. "What did you put in it? You cannot prank Regina, or- or, oh, was it a bomb?"

"It's not a bomb!" You shouted over your shoulder, sprinting towards the exit. The aggressive clacking of Gretchen's heels on the floors as she ran after you would surely haunt your nightmares. How could she even keep up with you?

"If it's not a bomb then what!" How was she closing in on you? It seemed like she was not even fazed by your little race, meanwhile, you were already winded. The exit was not that far away, but it felt like miles.

"It's Regina's business now! Ask her tomorrow at school or something!" The doors to freedom approached. "Stop chasing me!"

"Stop running!"

"No!"

You burst out and quickly hopped down the stairs, two at a time. Gretchen was still on your tail, but once she got to the top of the stairs shouted: "Karen! Tackle her!"

You hadn't even noticed Karen fucking Shetty. There was no not noticing her when the girl sprinted at you with perfect athletic form and squashed you like a linebacker.

You collided and flew into the snow. Better than the concrete of the footpath but it still hurt like a bitch.

"Get off of me!" You tried to get out from under her, but Karen was surprisingly dense. She was small but it was as if there were stones in her body instead of organs. "Fuck!"

"Keep her there, Karen, very good."

"Thanks!" Karen beamed, which was a much more common expression on her than the bloodlust she'd shown earlier.

"This has nothing to do with you." You snarled, still wriggling. "This is between Regina and me."

"Whatever's between Regina is between us," Gretchen said, all hoity-toity. "Now, tell me exactly what you put in her locker."

"A fucking photo album." You hissed, closing your eyes and clenching your jaw. What lie could you come up with? "Our families used to know each other. It's mostly pictures of her, so I just thought to... Return it."

"Oh, that's so nice!" Karen's hold loosened and you went to escape.

"Nuh-uh, not good enough." Just like that, Karen's weight slammed back down onto you. Your breath wooshed out of your lungs.

"What more do you want?" You wheezed out, getting sick and tired of this.

"Why was it in your possession?"

"I don't fucking know! It just was!"

"Hmm. And why couldn't you just give it to her?"

"You think that would've gone well, Gretchen? Seriously?" You turned your head with great effort, staring up at the girl. "Please, just let me go."

"I don't think I believe you." Gretchen squatted next to your head. "We're going back and checking it's what you say it is. And then you might be free to go."

"Fuck you." You hissed but made no move to book it when Karen hauled you up.

"That's not very nice." Karen pointed out.

"I don't want to be nice to Gretchen right now." You had no real issue with Karen, even if she had just tackled you.

"Oh, okay." You couldn't see her when she was holding your wrists behind your back, but you could imagine she was bobbing her head up and down like she was known to do.

You were walked back into the building, going mostly without a fight. Gretchen strutted along proudly as if capturing you was some great victory. Regina had trained her well. You weren't sure if that was impressive or just sad.

"Open it." Gretchen gestured once you were back at Regina's locker.

"I need my hands to do that." You helped out, smiling at Gretchen like she was stupid. Sputtering and offended, she instructed Karen to let go.

Instead of running like you should've, taking the chance you could get out if Karen didn't get a one-up on you, you obediently cracked the code again. Was it selfish that you kind of wanted others to know about you and Regina? Was it totally horrible of you to want to know it was real and have proof of that? Well, if it was, there was no helping it.

Gretchen snatched the album from the locker before you could even think to touch it. Karen sidled up to her, peering over her shoulder as she opened it.

You stood by, waiting for their judgement and looking at the ceiling. There'd been a water leak right there, based on the discolouration. Gross.

"You... You're J. J is for Jorts." Gretchen said. She sounded weird, like hollow or something. "J is for Jorts." She said again, breathy and disbelieving.

"What?" What the fuck was going on?

Karen spoke then. "She talks about J a lot. Like, a lot a lot. A whole lot." You nodded slowly as Karen went on. "J's like, her true love. It's so cute."

"J is not her true love, Karen! They are both girls." Gretchen pointed out. You had to agree. "Are they?" She looked you up and down judgementally.

"Yes. I am a girl." You said. It was true, you were female and around the age that it was acceptable to be referred to as a girl. Even so, it made you distinctly uncomfortable.

"Hmm." Gretchen didn't seem to believe you. Karen was busy cooing at the pictures of small Regina. It was sheer luck they hadn't bothered to read your writings.

"Look, can I go now? I know I'm busted, you're probably gonna confiscate the album, and Regina will never see it. Happy?"

"No. Karen, please put it back in the locker." Gretchen said, not taking her eyes off of you. Karen did as asked with a pout. "What is your relationship with Regina?" The album was back in the locker, but it hadn't been locked again.

"Nothing." And that was true. There was nothing there anymore.

"That's a lie and you know it. If you're J, then you've known each other at least since middle school. Based on the pictures, even longer."

"Who is J?" You asked in exasperation.

"Somebody who she has protected for years now. Somebody who is always better than we could ever be." Gretchen pointed between herself and Karen. "J is important to her."

"Okay, well, good for J, I guess."

"You're so infuriating." Gretchen sighed, pinching the skin between her eyes.

"You aren't the first to tell me that."

"Of course, because Regina has said that to you. Because you've known each other forever. Because you're J."

"Listen, I may look a bit butch, but I have a perfectly ordinary girl name."

"That is not the point!" She spoke fast and high-pitched. "You. It's you. You've been under our noses this entire time! Do you realize how much easier things could've been if you were around?"

"Excuse me?" Now, you were really lost.

"You're excused," Karen said cheerfully. You nodded to her in thanks.

"We could never be as good as you. It was like we were placeholders for the ultimate pretty girl she'd somehow let slip. And it's you. In a flannel and hoodie, ratty jeans, dirty shoes, no fashion sense to speak of. It's you." She said that last part with contempt.

You were reeling. Regina had talked about you to these two. Had compared them to you, cited that you were better. For years she'd done that. She'd never forgotten about you.

"Look, Gretchen, I'm sorry Regina's treated you badly." You'd lost the need to defend her, even still. Then again, even if you hadn't, there was little you could argue about with the two she'd tormented the most. "You can probably tell this is something Regina doesn't want coming out."

"What does that matter?" Gretchen asked, eyes far away and legs beginning to pace. "We could- could finally bring her down. Yes. We have J, we have everything she wants. She'll come grovelling."

You took a deep breath. You didn't feel angry, you were too tired to get angry at mean girls at this point. Besides, nobody could rile you up like Regina.

"You're wrong." You put it plainly. "What Regina's been doing to these people, to everyone around her, is wrong. But what I find despicable is how everybody is the same. I know her reasons, I can sympathise with her, but I can't say the same for you. So tell me." You paused to take a deep breath. "Why?"

"I'm not good at riddles, I'm sorry." Karen said, looking genuinely apologetic.

"It's okay, Karen, Gretchen can answer for you both."

"She deserves it." Gretchen said, steel in her tone.

"You sound just like Cady Heron and Janis 'Imi'ike. She hurt them too. What do you think ruining her life will achieve?"

"I'll be the new Regina George."

"Do you hear yourself? You still idolize her. If you're gonna be the new Regina George, it's always going to be a Regina George world. Don't you want to be Gretchen Wieners?"

"No!" She screeched. "Gretchen Wieners is lame, boring, too eager, a slut, desperate-" She took a deep breath.

"Okay." You said. "Why? Because Regina said so? Why would you believe her? She's just the same as you. Look," You pulled the album back out.

"Here we're in the Georges' pool. She would not go to the deep end. Y'know, she refused to even go in without those arm floaties for the longest time. Eventually, some boy made fun of her for them and that was the last time.

"And in this one we're driving back from summer camp. Regina was already tall enough to go without a booster seat, but I wasn't. She'd just thrown the biggest tantrum 'cause Mrs George didn't allow her to take off her seatbelt to sleep. She went out like a light, anyway.

"We're in Six Flags there. We'd just gotten those ice creams and you can see that Regina's isn't sticking to the cone all that well. Right after the shot, it just slid off. Regina was inconsolable. I offered her mine so we could share, and that seemed to be good enough for her but her dad was not having it. He threatened to take us home if she didn't stop crying right then, that it'd be all her fault that their whole family wasted money and time on this stupid trip. Eventually she calmed down and Mr George didn't have to drive us back."

You sighed. "I already tried this with Janis, in a way. I don't think Regina would appreciate me airing out her personal life like this, but... I don't know..." You closed your eyes for a moment. "I just want people to stop making things worse for her. She's been so wrong for so long, and I know I can't keep defending her, but I just don't think revenge will make her regret anything that she's done."

Karen hummed. "My auntie's been teaching me about karma. So, like, if she feels what she's made others feel, then won't that like... Fix her?"

"I don't want to hurt her." You said, resolute. "Maybe, it could be the most effective way to make her see her shortcomings. But I don't want to. I do not want to hurt her." You looked between the two. "And that's where we differ, I guess."

Gretchen didn't say anything, eyes glued to a picture from the Six Flags trip. Regina had mustard and ketchup smeared all over her face while she was holding a napkin to your lips, in the process of wiping your face.

With that, you snatched the album from her hands, deposited it back into the locker and slammed it shut. The lock clicked. Without a word, you began to talk towards the exit. Neither of them followed you or said anything to you.

You couldn't stop people from taking their revenge. You had done your best to be diplomatic. Evoking sympathy in hormonal teenagers wasn't something easily done, or maybe you were just shitty at it, but there was little else you could do. If you went ahead and retaliated, hurt them for hurting someone you cared about, the lines blurred.

You'd just be another mean girl.

Notes: Sorry for the delay! The next chapter will be the last one, unless I start rambling or something. After that, I'll do a less structured series of epilogues. Loosely related oneshots, that kinda vibe.

Also, my writing assistant stopped working in the middle of this, so if there's stupid typos I'll come fix them later.

I swear to fucking god if the taglist doesn't work I'll start breaking bones.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism , @9unknown0 , @sage-rose2000 , @massive-honkas , @nattys-swiftie , @likefirenrain , @luz-enjoyer , @dandelions4us , @natashamaximoff-69 , @alexkolax , @jareaul0ver , @here4theqts , @charleeeesworld , @natsbiggestfan1 , @brocoliisscared , @yellowwallflowers , @scarlettbitchx , @ayoungexwife , @cyberbonesworld , @syddie-reads , @screechcat , @theenglishswiftie , @gabby-duhh , @sweetmissnothing , @masterofpuppets-10 , @l1lass , @starved-mortal , @nothanksbye07 , @nenas19 , @jvuyii , @starry-night17 , @reneeswife24 , @glorioushamsterqueen , @krononan , @slug-on-bike , @rayisaknight , @chaseatlanticlover91 , @reginassweetheart , @mirage018

(this actually makes me angry. why. why doesnt it work. i type in the @ and then i type in the name and then it shows up in the lil' box and i click it but then it don't show up ;-;)

(this is cyber bullying. the cybers are bullying me.)

(anyway, if you want to be added to the taglist there is no gurantee if it'll work, but i'll add you if you want! just comment on this post :) if anybody has any ideas why it's like this, lmk!)

[jackhues]

in love love - alex lyon

notes: this is part of @wyattjohnston's winter fic exchange, and written for the amazing @2manytabsopen !! this is my first time writing for alex and honestly first time writing in a while, but i had lots of fun with this and i really hope you like it <33

summary: 3 times the world realized alex was in love with you + the 1 time you realized it

word count: 2.7k

likes are good, reblogs are better <3

gif not mine

i.

you and alex had known each other your whole lives. as long as you could remember, it was you and him. sure, you both had friends that came and went, but at the end of it all, it was the two of you who made it through.

you made it through your elementary years, all the way to college, and now even beyond. despite graduating early, alex was still in contact with many of the friends you both made in university. it was a good thing too, because you could just go together to all the events you were invited to.

“i don’t know what i was thinking, making so many friends,” you muttered to yourself, nursing your drink.

it was late at night, and you were no longer the same person you’d been at college. instead of pulling all-nighters and partying with the crowd, you wanted to be in bed once it was dark.

“are you tired?” alex turned to face you. “we can go home if you want.”

“that’s okay,” you smiled tiredly at the tall boy. “it’s not like we get to meet up with them often. it’s been a long time since we were all out. we can stay.”

“you sure, love?” he asked, eyebrows knit in concern. “you look ready to drop.”

“i’m fine,” you promised. at his unconvinced look, you continued, “really, i’m okay. i think i just need another drink.”

“i’ll get you one,” he offered immediately, heading up to the counter to get your drink.

unbeknownst to you, some of your college friends were giggling to each other, wondering if the two of you were finally together.

“i mean, they have to be, right?” one of them whispered. “they’ve both got heart eyes for each other.”

“alex isn’t even trying to hide it,” another one laughed a little. “good for them, i guess. i always knew he liked her.”

you smiled once alex returned with your favourite drink, handing it to you. 

“a special drink, for a special lady,” he grinned.

“thank you,” you took it from him, taking a sip. 

indeed, all you needed was a little something in your system to get you going. you took alex’s hand, leading him to the dance floor where you ended up spending most of the night.

after some time, alex broke away from you, drifting to the edge of the dance floor and allowing himself a moment to admire you.

“so? you two finally together, huh?” one of alex’s old teammate’s wiggled his brows, sliding up next to the goalie. 

“what? me and y/n? no — no, we’re just friends,” alex insisted. 

“oh, really?” he asked, looking between the two of you. “i guess i haven’t seen you guys in so long, i forgot how close you were.”

alex nodded, despite the lump in his throat, before excusing himself to get some air.

your friends exchanged glances at that interaction — at alex running away, and at you now dancing with another friend, clueless to it all.

“well shit,” one of them muttered. “he’s in love with her, and he knows it.”

“but does she?”

ii.

“here, let me get that for you.”

“thank you,” you smiled as alex took the plates from your hands, placing them in the sink.

you were at a family friends house, inviting alex along to celebrate with them. since most of your family lived further away, you often celebrated the holidays and other events with them. alex was someone you’d known your entire life, and by extension, your family and family friends knew about him too.

after years of trying to convince you to bring him along to one of these gatherings, you finally caved in. it wasn’t that you were embarrassed of alex. if anything, you were a little embarrassed of your family friends.

not in a bad way. they were just loud and talkative and much more rowdy than alex’s family. you were worried how well he’d fit in if he came along.

so far, he had proved you wrong, getting along with absolutely everyone there. the younger kids kept trying to steal him to play games, the older aunts and uncles doted on him — everyone loved him.

you took the broom out, getting ready to sweep around the house a little. everyone was busy cleaning up after themselves or gossipping with each other. might as well make yourself useful.

“here, let me do that,” alex appeared next to you, reaching for the broom.

“it’s alright, i got it,” you assured him. “besides, you’re the guest. go sit and talk with the older people. i’ve got this.”

“y/n,” he said your name in a strict tone. “give me the broom, i’ll sweep up around here. you’ve been on your feet all day, take a seat and let me do this.”

you narrowed your eyes at him, realizing he wasn’t going to budge. “okay, go grab the dustpan. i’ll sweep, you collect it, okay?”

alex sighed, “all right, fine. but you’re sitting down and hanging out with everyone after this. no more work for you.”

“alex, that’s not how it works—”

“if someone needs you to do a chore, i’ll step in,” he said in a strict tone. he softened his voice, “you did a lot today, okay? i can do a little bit of work around here too. i’m not entirely useless, you know?”

you laughed a little, “i can think of multiple instances where you were entirely useless.”

“right now,” alex amended. “i know how to sweep and do the dishes and stuff. i couldn’t help you out in the morning, but i can now. so let me, please.”

“okay, okay,” you raised your hands in surrender. “i’ll sweep and then take a seat. happy?”

“very,” he grinned, happy that he’d finally won this argument.

behind you, one of your cousins shared a look with their sibling, wondering if anyone else just saw what happened.

“that’s so weird,” one of them whispered. 

“i wonder how long it’ll take for them to get married,” another thought aloud.

“oh, he’s in love love,” another one muttered.

they looked at you, sweeping the floor with a little smile on your face, and behind you, alex watching you with the same smile on his face. it was so painfully obvious, just by the way he watched you.

“i hope she realizes it soon.”

iii.

“come on, come on, come on,” you grabbed alex’s hand, pulling him along.

there was a new cafe that opened down the street, and based on the reviews, it had some really nice hot chocolate. alex was the one who’d found their page on instagram, forwarding the message to you.

so of course, you dragged him along for your first visit.

the interior of the cafe was chic, with a checkerboard floor and a cozy interior. you immediately claimed one of the couches at the store, scanning the qr code for the menu.

before you even opened it up, alex spoke, “you’re getting a hot chocolate?”

“i didn’t even look at the menu yet,” you rolled your eyes. 

“yeah, but it’s why you came here, right?” he asked. “to try their french hot chocolate?”

you opened your mouth to argue, but simply sighed. “yeah, that’s why i came here.”

“that’s what i thought,” a satisfied smirk appeared on alex’s face. “so, one french hot chocolate for you, and one cinnamon hot chocolate for me.”

you gave him a thumbs up in approval, letting him place the order at the counter while you saved your seats. you pulled out your phone, scrolling a little as you waited for alex to return.

near your seat, an older woman smiled to herself, waving to her own husband at the counter giving their order. she remembered their earlier days together, when her husband first learned her order and immediately went to the counter. it might be a really small thing to someone else, but she’d associated that act with his love for her. she wondered if one day you’d do the same thing with alex.

“i’m back,” alex announced his return as he took a seat next to you.

“yes, i can see that,” you replied. 

he flicked your forehead, “congrats, you have eyes.”

“you’re such a child,” you laughed.

“you’re just jealous because you’ll be old and wrinkly while i stay young and hot.”

the two of you kept it together for three seconds, before bursting out into laughter.

your waitress smiled to herself, placing your drinks on the table in front of you. the cafe was new and it didn’t get many customers yet. seeing you two in here laughing loudly warmed her heart.

she wished she’d get to experience that kind of love one day, with someone who looked at her the way alex looked at you. as if he’d seen the entire world and decided you were his favourite thing in it.

“enjoy your drinks,” she smiled at you two, heading back.

“thank you,” you smiled at her, reaching for your hot chocolate.

you smiled at the sight of how delicious the hot chocolate looked, reaching towards it as if it were gold. to you, it might’ve been.

the second you took that first sip, you sighed in content, melting back into the couch and closing your eyes.

“so, it’s delicious?” alex asked, taking a sip of his own. he blinked in surprise, “okay, wow. this is pretty good. you know, y/n, i think you were onto something when you fell into that hot chocolate obsession.”

“i’m always right,” you grinned, turning your head to look at him.

alex caught his breath at the sight of you. after all these years, and you still managed to make him speechless with just a look.

“always,” he merely agreed.

you smiled triumphantly, going back to your drink. around you, the people whispered — they always whispered the same thing, but you never heard it.

“they’re so cute,” one person would whisper.

“oh, he’s so in love with her,” another would say.

“too bad she doesn’t even know it,” one would sigh.

“she knows it, she just doesn’t realize it,” another would respond. “she doesn’t even realize how in love she is with him.”

and alex would hear it all, and he’d keep his mouth shut. because whether you knew or whether you didn’t wasn’t the question.

the question was whether you’d do anything once you did realize.

iv.

you looked at your caller i.d., trying not to cry at the sight of alex’s face.

even though you saw him a day ago, the sight of him was so comforting to you. especially after the shit day that you were having at work.

“hello,” you answered, wanting nothing more than to hear his voice on the other end of the line.

“hey — wait, what’s wrong?” he asked. you could imagine the furrow in his brow, the exact face he was making as he continued. “are you crying? y/n, are you okay?”

“i’m fine,” you promised, taking a deep breath. “it’s just — it’s been a long day alex. i’m happy you called, i needed to hear your voice.”

“anytime,” alex responded immediately. “i’m always here for you, you know?”

“i know,” you smiled to yourself, because he was. “what’s up with you though? why’d you call?”

“i was just calling because i was bored,” he responded a little sheepishly. “i wanted to bother you a bit.”

“instead you’re comforting me,” you laughed a little.

“it’s an honour to do so,” he responded, followed by a small thwack sound. you laughed, imagining him pounding his chest to play the part, even though you couldn’t even see him.

the two of you continued talking for a bit, until you finally ended the call. you took a deep breath, looking at the time on your phone. two more hours, and then you were free.

--

you locked the door behind you, placing your bag and keys down. 

you were finally home, and ready to put this long day behind you. except now that you were inside, you could hear some noise from somewhere in your house. music was playing softly and a familiar voice was singing along. the smell of something baking made its way to you — banana bread, you thought happily. after a long day, you needed something like that to cheer you up.

you followed the source of the noise, stopping at the sight of alex in the kitchen making banana bread and singing along to the song. you watched him for a minute, smiling to yourself as he spun around and put on a little show.

when the song ended, you clapped, laughing as alex jumped at the sudden noise.

“bravo, that was beautiful!” you cheered. “encore, encore, encore!”

“ah, as much as ii would love to do so for my wonderful fans, the banana bread i am baking for a very wonderful woman will burn if i don’t take it out now,” he spoke in a posh accent before reaching into the oven, pulling the tray out and setting it to cool.

you looked around at the kitchen, noticing for the first time how spotless it was. you’d left some dishes this morning because you were in a rush, and you were pretty sure you made a mess last night while cooking dinner. you were normally pretty clean, but you were just in a lazy mood these past few days.

“did you clean the kitchen?” you asked alex.

he looked up at you, shrugging to himself, “yeah. when you said you had a bad day, i wanted to make you feel a little bit better. so i came over, cleaned a bit, and cooked.”

“thank you,” you whispered, your heart heavy with too many unspoken emotions.

“you’d do the same for me,” alex shrugged.

it was true. you had done and would continue to do the same thing for him. people often thought you two were just friends, but you were so much more than that. you were everything for the other. alex was the one you’d run to when you got good news or bad news. you were the one alex would find for comfort or to share his joy.

you never questioned it, but you finally realized that somewhere along the way, with the jokes and the laughter and the unbreakable friendship, love had also blossomed.

“y/n?” alex called your name. “are you okay?”

you blinked up at him, realizing that you’d basically zoned out in the middle of the kitchen. lost in your own thoughts, you didn’t know how to reply.

and so you blurted out, “are you in love with me?”

alex froze, staring at you for long enough that you began to wonder if you wildly miscalculated. maybe those lingering gazes and longer than necessary hugs were something you imagined. maybe you two were just friends in his eyes. 

“and if i was?” he asked, he met your eyes, not a hint of hesitation in them. “if i was in love with you for as long as i could remember, longer than i even knew what the word meant? that i’ve been waiting for you to notice for years now? what would you say?”

you looked at him, trying to tell if he was joking. it didn’t look like he was. 

“i’d say why didn’t you tell me years ago?” you responded honestly. “that way, we’d already be past then. and then… and then i’d tell you to kiss me already because i’ve been in love with you for a long time too.”

alex stared at you, trying to figure out if you’d actually just said that. you hear practically the gears turning in his head, you could imagine the questions he was asking himself.

“it’s not a dream,” you smiled, answering his biggest one.

“oh thank god,” he muttered to himself, reaching you in two long strides.

you gasped as his hands grabbed your waist, your own arms reaching up to grab his shirt. without a moment of hesitation, alex leaned down, his lips capturing yours in a kiss just as sweet as the confession.

oh, he’s in love, you thought to yourself with a little smile.

it’s okay, because so were you.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I asked my mom not to invite my sister on vacation with us?

(submitted 5/26/24)

I (22X) have a lot of anxiety about politics (namely the upcoming presidential election and its potential consequences regarding my access to healthcare, among many other things). It started in 2016 and then just kept getting worse and worse as the years went on. I know that if I try to go about my day as normal on election night, I’ll most likely end up obsessively refreshing polling results and worrying myself into a panic attack (or several). So, I did a lot of research and planned a week-long vacation on and a bit after election day. It’s at a nice cabin a short drive away that’s all about disconnecting from phones and technology and reconnecting with nature. I figured because everyone in my family votes absentee already, me and my mom (56F) could go up together while my dad and my oldest sister (63M and 25F) would stay home because of work obligations and take care of our pets. My mom was really enthusiastic about the idea (especially because I went on a vacation with my dad last year, and it’s been a long time since her and I have had a parent child bonding trip), and she helped me finalize the dates and pay for the cabin. I’m in college and haven’t been able to find a summer job, but I’m still trying to save money to help cover the cost of food/entertainment/gas for the trip.

When we were booking, she talked about potentially inviting my sister (24F) on vacation too, as a family bonding thing. She moved out a year and a bit ago and is living with a friend, so my mom doesn’t get to see her all that often. But I really don’t want my sister to come along. Me and her haven’t gotten along since elementary school, and now whenever she visits I’m on edge the whole time. Plus, she has a very old special needs dog that she would have to bring with her that needs constant supervision, and his energy wildly varies between “sleeps in a ball all day” and “blindly runs around screaming and peeing everywhere and getting stuck like a roomba all day”. Which again, that’s very stressful to me. In addition, whenever my sister is over at our house, she always finds a way to bring up politics and wants to talk about current events (never the good ones, only the bad ones). Thankfully we agree on the important things (even if she leans a tad more towards the center than I do), but still. The whole point of this trip is to avoid having to worry about politics, and she always finds a way to bring it up. Plus, I just genuinely think she’d go stir crazy being cooped up in a cabin with me and my mom and poor cell service. There’s not a lot to do in the surrounding area besides hiking (she’s got a heart condition), a small Main Street with some shops that’s a 15 minute drive away, and a diner. It’ll probably just be reading, board games, and cards for a week straight.

Why I think I’d be TA: my mom and her don’t spend a lot of time together, and my mom is the one paying for the vacation. Even though I think she wouldn’t like glamping with us, my sister could still want to be invited and want to come along.

Why I think I wouldn’t be TA: I don’t think my sister would like being in a cabin with me and my mom for a week straight with no TV and poor cell service. My oldest sister is also not going on vacation with us due to work obligations, so they could have some sisterly bonding time while we’re away. Plus, the entire point of the vacation is to have a few days where I don’t have to dread election results, and I know my sister is going to want to talk about election results as soon as they start coming in.

So, would I be the asshole if I asked my mom not to invite my sister on vacation with us?

[baby-alien11]

can I get a poly chad x fem!reader x Tara headcannons for scream 6 with no ghostface? reader is a roommate of Anika’s or something!

Hii anon, thanks for sending the request

I hope you like how I wrote your idea

being in a relationship with Chad and Tara

You've been friends with Anika since elementary school so it wasn't a surprise that both of you decided to go to the same college as roomates

Arriving at Blackmore, both of you entered your shared dorm noticing a girl already there accommodating her things in one of the rooms, along with her brother and other girl shorter than the both of them

That's how you and Anika ended being part of the Core Four group, along with Ethan who was roomie with Chad, and Quinn who shared an appartment with Sam and Tara

Soon enough, Anika and Mindy started dating

While you, Chad and Tara got close

Even when the three of you had different majors, study sessions almost everyday were now a tradition

That study sessions and all the time that the three of you spend together, alone or with the whole group, made new feelings develope between you three

Of course it wasn't a surprise that you liked boys and girls, basically you and Anika came out almost at the same time

During movie nights the three of you sat together in the same sofa, alternating the person who's turn is next to sit in the middle

They even trusted you so much, that they told you what they went trough last year in Woodsboro

And after hearing that, you ended up crying an telling them how strong they were for surviving that horrible experience

The most time you spend with both of them, you realised the feelings developing towards the two of them

But you didn't tell them those feelings because you didn't know how could they react to that

That was until during a dinner night in a cafeteria close to the apartment, Chad decided to do something about the situation

"I like you", Chad suddenly said

Hearing those three words, you and Tara looked at each other in confussion because he said that so abruptly

"Context please", you asked still confused

"Please promise me that you won't run after this, both of you", Chad spoke at what you and Tara nodded, "Okay, here we go, in this last months I've started to develope feelings for both of you, like more than friends"

"Thank God I'm not the only one who felt this way", you sighed in relief

"Wait, really?", Tara asked with a little smile

"It's not a secret I like boys and girls", you shrugged

"So, I guess we all in the same page", Chad continued now smiling, "What if we tried something? A relationship between the three of us, if it doesn't work we forget this happened and continue as friends, how does it sound?"

Sharing a look with Tara for a few seconds, both of you nodded with little smiles

"Throuple power! High five!", Chad exclaimed with excitement rasing both of his hands

"If you do that again we will break up with you", Tara threatened

That same night, the rest of the group was informed of the relationship situation, and certainly they had a mix of emotions like surprise, confusion and happiness

Things didn't change a lot after the relationship started

During go outs, Chad carried two jackets, one for the both of you

He didn't saw those jackets after that

On movie nights, the two place sofa was now yours, you and Chad sitting in it and Tara on top of both of you due to her being the smallest

Cooking together dinner for everyone (which almost all the time ended up with a little disaster)

Lots of cuddling, specially after an stressful day of classes

When you are late for class and have to run around the campus to go to your respective classes, Chad decided at one point to carry both of you and Tara to run towards your classrooms in order to be on time

Chad even let Tara and you to do make ups on him just for fun and post some of the photos on Instagram

The first kiss between the three of you was a little akward because when you attempted do do it, all of your noses collided with each other leaving a bruise in your noses for a few days

Chad is a simp

He often carry both of your bags around campus, your purses when going out to dinner or during shopping, if one of you had to do a big project he would carry it, doesn't matter how small or big it is

At parties, Tara had the habit to drink more than her body could hold, so you and Chad had to hold her hand in order to not loose her in the crowd

There was one time when she arrived too drunk to the apartment that you and Chad had to sit for two hours listening to Sam scolding you for letting Tara drink her weight in alcohol

Of course Quinn filmed the entire thing and send it to the groupchat

After that, both of you made sure to make her throw up before leaving the party and gave her water to hydratate

Of course, after a month of trying the whole throuple thing, everything worked well so the relationship continued

[maxislvt]

It's Begining To Look Like Christmas

Request: Wanda and looking at pretty lights pls

Warnings: None! This will not last long!!

A/N: This request was vague so I took some liberties! I am obsessed with making Wanda a huge nerd.

Event Masterlist

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

"Alright boys, do you know what time it is?" The smile on your face was unbreakable. Christmas was your favorite time of year. Take your kids on a drive, pick up hot cocoa, and wander around in a never-ending maze of beautiful lights. Everything about it was beautiful.

"It's light time!" The boys shouted in unison! Wrapped in puffy winter jackets and armed to the teeth with their favorite boots, your kids were ready to brave the cold and experience another wonderful Christmas adventure.

"Wait a minute," Your wife shouted. "You guys know the rules, no one is leaving this house until we put on the hats." Despite the disapproving groan from Billy and Tommy, Wanda began pulling the beanies over their heads. "Don't give me that! These are cute and you need to keep your head warm. Isn't that right, sweetie?"

Before you could answer, Tommy interjected. "Abba, tell mom these are embarrassing and no one that's really cool would wear these!" The young boy pulled his hoodie over his head in an attempt to cover the little cartoon eyes on his hat. "What if someone from school sees us!?" It didn't take long for Tommy to get wrapped up in the vicious social hierarchy of the elementary school playground. Though it made getting him to shower and clean his room easier, it broke Wanda's heart to see him already embarrassed at the thought of being kissed goodnight or tucked in.

You pretended to ponder the question for a second, then shrugged. "Abbabear doesn't make the rules, they just enforce them."A smile spread across your face as you put on your beanie. "Plus, I think I'd make a really cute bear!"

"I think Abba looks cool too," Billy shouted in agreement. Your other son was a lot more into the sillier traditions than his twin brother. It was unexpected. In all other aspects of life, he was a serious kid. Billy preferred calm walks and book reading while his twin would run off into a crowd and make friends, but the holiday season brought out a whole new side of him. "Bears are cool, so all of us are cool!"

The drive to the park was quiet before the storm of energetic children. Tommy quietly grumbled about the ears on his hat while Billy gasped and happily pointed at all the houses with pretty decorations and flashing lights. Fancy hot chocolate seemed to be enough to get your wife to relax while you drive.

"Alright, bugaboos, same rules as last time. Don't spend all your bucks at one booth and you have to be within eyesight of me or your mom." Once you parked the car, you gave your boys their allowance for the event and let them run out of the car.

Wanda watched on fondly as her kids excitedly ran out of the car. The smile on her face was wide and almost perfectly in the window. Her beautiful eyes were accented by the shining Christmas lights and her dazzling white smile. The sight was only ruined by the bright flash of your camera shocking her. She turned back to you with a heavy pout. "No, put that thing away! You always take pictures, just enjoy the walk!"

You pulled your camera away from Wanda's hands. "Noo, I have to take pictures! What about that scrapbook you love so much?" The pout on your face was just as heavy as Wanda's. "Please, you guys are so cute, I can't help it." Despite your pleas, a familiar red most wrapped around your camera, and carefully moved it off of your neck.

Wanda firmly shook her head. "Absolutely not. You always end up far behind me and the boys with this thing. You're starting to look less like my wonderful marriage partner and more like my deranged stalker." Your wife ignored your disappointed groans and got out of the car. "Come on, the boys will start climbing trees if we make them wait any longer."

You grumbled something bitter under your breath but followed your wife regardless. "Some Christmas week this is, I can't even take pictures of my beautiful wife and lovely children! Then my wife decides to break her own holiday rules! What happened to no powers on holidays?"

"What happened to Abba bear enforcing the rules and not making them?" Wanda carefully placed the lens cap on your camera and grabbed your hand. "Come on. If you need to take a picture, I'll take it." Your wife's eyes widened at your disapproving groan. "What's that supposed to mean?"

You tried your hardest to suppress the giggle growing in your chest. "It's just…y'know…you sorta take pictures like we already have grandkids." All attempts at not laughing flew out the window when Wanda playfully punched your shoulder. "Hey, I told you not to buy that stupid wallet case!" You were quick to kiss the top of your wife's head to calm her growing embarrassment. "But I love your old lady pictures!"

Wanda huffed. "I see where Tommy gets all his snarky from!" Even amid your teasing, Wanda stayed close to you. After a bit of poking fun, you two began to immerse yourselves in the bright lights around you. "That one reminds me of you," She whispered fondly. "I think it's the little button nose it's got."

You turned your head to the little deer light set. The helpless little thing shown took his first leap into the air only to fall miserably on the ground. "Well, I think that one right there is you!" You boldly pointed at the light arrangement of Mrs. Claus idly rocking back and forth in her rocking chair. "And guess those are our boys." You then pointed at the two little elves stuck chasing after each other in a loop.

Wanda giggled and rested her head against your arm. The two of you walked peacefully as the twins gasped and excitedly pointed at the different lights and setups they saw while exploring the park.

"Abba, Abba! Come look, they made one just for you!" The twins grabbed each of your hands and dragged you down the walking trail until you stood in front of what was easily the most complicated set of lights any of you would ever see.

Between two of the tallest trees in the park hung a magnificent piece of lightwork solely dedicated to your heroics. Lights were strung up and angled perfectly to make a copy of your iconic emblem and costume. It's almost embarrassing. You weren't like your wife or the rest of the Avengers. You had worked alone and amongst the shadows of night. Yet, there you were, idolized and accented with a Santa hat for the holidays.

All you could do was laugh. "Would you look at that?" You smiled proudly. Bending down to the height of your boys, you looked up. "Huh, I guess I really underestimate how tiny you two are. I look like a giant from down here." The sound of your boys' giggles filled your heart with joy. "I hope they gave your mom one, I can't be the only one getting all the spotlight." An adorable moment was interrupted by the harsh light of a camera flash. "Ah! What the hell was that?!"

Wanda laughed triumphantly. "Hah, how's that for an old lady picture?" She proudly walked over to you and showed off the picture she'd taken. "With enough practice, I'll be just as good as you!"

You carefully took your camera off of your wife's neck and looked at the photo. It was awful. The ISO created too much noise, her shutter speed much too low for the darkness of winter, and the depth of field was too shallow for the distance between you three and the camera. However, Wanda was your wife and didn't know a thing about photography. So of course, you lied. "This looks beautiful, sweetie. I'll print it out and hang it as soon as we get home!"

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

Later that night, you found yourself hauled up in your photography studio. Desperately trying to make something out of the photo your wife had taken earlier. Billy and Tommy had snuck out of their room just to watch you edit.

"I thought you said momma's photo was good?" Tommy asked, standing on the tips of his toes so he could see the computer monitor.

"Why are you doing all that stuff to it?" Billy asked, standing on the other side of you. He had a habit of finishing his brother's thoughts. It was cute, but it got a little unsettling after a certain hour.

You cleared your throat as you continued to manipulate the photo. "Well boys, if you ever find someone you love as much as I love your mom, you'll find yourself doing just about anything to make them happy." After a few silent minutes of editing, you finally printed out the photo. "Now help me decorate a frame for this thing."

[soclonely]

Hope you feel better soon! If you're still doing The Clones As prompts, maybe The Clones as People You'd See at a Roller-Skating Rink?

Oh ABSOLUTELY. I missed these so much. Lets seeeeeee... Rex-"Wait, i thought you said we were going ice skating! I can't rollerskate!"

Echo- spends entire time in the arcade area wearing skates but not touching the wood ONCE

Fives- middle school boys who skate around and play tag

Jesse- *deathgrips the wall while legs go in about 80 different directions at once*

Kix- the group of girls who think its okay to link arms and skate in a line

Tup- messy bun girl who has to fix her hair at every turn because it keeps falling out but shes too nervous to stop because she JUST got the hang of it and if she stops she wont get to the pace shes at again

Dogma- the jackass who brings inline skates

Hardcase- kid constantly running up to the counter slamming cokes and pixie sticks

Coric- the dj all the middle schoolers are bugging to play Yeah by usher 8 more times

Bly- the couple who rented skates to take a couple quick instagram photos at the entrance of the rink, before quickly removing them and leaving lmao.

99- The oldtimer. amazing skate skills. probably did a lot of light drugs at that same rink in the 70s. Dresses up for disco night in his flashy 70s outfit

Cody- the dweeb who skates backwards around like he's hot stuff. Dude you are 26, at a roller rink on a saturday night by yourself because your DnD session got cancelled. calm down

Waxer/Boil- picture it, 2005-2006. its students night for your elementary/middle school at the local rink! You are in 5th grade. Your mom drops you off with money for rentals and an extra $15 for a slice of pizza, some popcorn, and a jones soda. You and your friends spend a majority of the time sitting in a booth in the concession area, giggling and running your skates casually under the table while you gossip about 6th grade and what its going to be like in real middle school next year, one of your friends looks around, jerks her head back around real quick, and squeals because your crush jacob has just come over to the concession area to but some nachos and made eye contact with the same cashier you had made eye contact with 5 minutes previous so it was practically him looking into your eyes on a beach sunset. You all giggle and chatter, staring at him until he awkwardly waves while shoving his change into his pocket as he shuffles back to his group of friends. it didn't matter that in 4 years he would be coming out of the closet to your whole school and taking the lead singing spot in the show choir. All that mattered was that small concession area. Life was good.

Wolffe- moms with annoying toddlers running around in shitty cheap plastic skates that clip onto their shoes

Boost/Sinker- asshat who doesn't watch surroundings and crosses over, bumps into everyone, and doesn't apologize

Hunter- Rockabilly dressed ladies witht heir hot pink skates. god i wish that were me.

Wrecker- the beefy dad guy there for his kids party. The dude can't skate, but you bet your sweet ass he strapped on this badboys and skated right out the rink and flat on his ass because his little princess BEGGED him to. He terrible at it but he's got spirit!

Tech- parent that sanitizes EVERYTHING

Crosshair- the person who cant skate, or is a newer skater who decides they are too cool to go around the edge and try to skate in the middle and inner lanes instead. GET TF OVER

Omega- the parent who is WALKING in the main rink holding their little kids hands. Usually they have the tiny corner one for them TAKE THEM OVER THERE SO I CAN GO NYOOM

Howzer- The obnoxious skaters who are def advanced, but try to show off in ways that can get people hurt

Fox- the poor skate rental counter guy in his 30s who looks like he just hates his life because his manager is a 16 year old girl.

Gregor-LIGHT UP WHEEL GUY

[beatsboy]

8.4.24 / 6 weeks of romanticizing my life until i love myself again

(day 42)

and today came and went like most days do as of late when it’s 88 degrees and only 8 degrees cooler in your apartment it rushed by, too quickly, not enough time to breathe, to pause, to take a moment and make sure: have we covered everything yet?

i saw friends i hadn’t seen in quite a long time, one of whom was my best friend from elementary school who i reconnected with in the last year after discovering her sister lived in la (i should hang out with her sister more) and her mom came and my mom came and my mom was dreadfully late due to some collision related traffic en route from orange county (an hour and forty drive) and of course i absorbed so much anxiety about this because my mom was anxious, because it was hot, because what else am i to focus on when this is my life in this moment, waiting for you to arrive to brunch? and of course, i was late too, rushing from my apartment after waiting for sweet pea to eat (he didn’t)

but those are not the things we remember, hopefully, if we are people who are at peace in the world we are patient and understanding and forgetful of the things that bothered us so greatly in the moment and have long since passed the way i think back on complaining about the heat to myself when Kingston wanted to be outside on a beautiful day it’s interesting how inflexible we can become when we spend a lot of time just with ourselves i’m still working on it

after brunch with old friends, the friends departed and my mom and i went to the grove to meet af at the movies. we saw sing sing, which was not the plan (we were supposed to see either harold and the purple crayon or didi but there weren’t seats for didi and my mom said the reviews for harold looked not so good, which, fair), so we ended up seeing a last-minute showing of sing sing, a film that came out in 2023 and is now in theaters, featuring a wrongly incarcerated man who finds solace in a prison theater group, based on a true story and including actual members from the program.

the film was beautiful, tears slowly crawled down my cheeks throughout the whole movie, at times from sadness or hurt, and other times, merely joy it was the most beautiful piece of art i’ve consumed in such a long time, though it feels insincere to call it art, or to call that which receives it consumption; it didn’t feel like art so much as it just felt like life as i’m reading, though, in music: a subversive history, there is no art without the creature, when we sing, we are only grasping at what it means to speak back to the earth, who has, since the dawn of time, been singing to us.

[ecargmura]

A Condition Called Love Episode 4 Review - Why's He So Rude To Her Friends?

Hananoi’s biggest flaw is that he only cares about his girlfriend and no one else; he doesn’t even have any friends and refuses to make any. If he was a real person, that’d be a huge turn off for anyone. From a realistic stand point, I’m sure anyone with a male or a female partner would hate it if they were rude to their friends. However, this is fiction, so Hananoi gets away with his rudeness, which could be seen as that to some people’s eyes. I see it as one of his biggest flaws and I hope that it changes later on because if he keeps being rude to Hotaru’s friends and Hotaru doesn’t catch on that, then that’s bad writing (to me) because she is a character who wants everyone to get along because she’s thoughtful and rather mindful of others. She is respectful to her friends and to Hananoi, so I believe Hananoi should do the same if he wants to stay in a committed relationship with Hotaru. If anyone who reads the manga, can you tell me if Hananoi does become nicer to Keigo later on?

It’s nice that Hotaru wants to get to know Hananoi a bit more hence why she chose to work at a bookstore because she knows Hananoi’s hobby is reading and she always sees him reading whenever he has time to himself. While Hananoi keeps waiting for her outside before work ends, she doesn’t seem to mind too much because she knows that Hananoi cherishes the time he spends with her. While being forthright is Hotaru’s strongest aspect, I do think that her biggest flaw is that she’s too mindful of others, mostly herself. When she told her story about how a friend played a prank on her by cutting her hair, she worded in a way that it was her fault for letting it happen. It feels like she’s gaslighting herself so that she doesn’t hold it against her friend and that it’s just her being socially awkward. It doesn’t seem like she’s not bad at understanding others’ feelings, it’s just that she believes herself to be after she hurt someone. She uses it as an excuse to herself in a way. It’s rather sad. Because no friend would play a prank on their friend by cutting their hair. That’s just straight up bullying.

If I had a nickel for every brown haired love rivals Ryohei Kimura plays, I’d have two nickels. It’s not a lot but it’s funny how it happened twice from My Happy Marriage as Arata to now Yao. Given that Yao was in Hotaru’s elementary school picture, he definitely was a reason why Hotaru had a falling out with her friend. I can sense it. My guess is that her blonde friend liked Yao but Yao liked Hotaru, so the girl got jealous and cut her hair out of jealousy. When Yao is formally introduced, I bet the whole incident will be told because Hotaru doesn’t deserve to be bullied just for being the person her ex-friend’s crush liked. Now, the question is, will he put that incident against her? I don’t like where this is going.

Also, is it just me or is the animation quality going down? I don’t know how new East Fish Studio is, but given that they cancelled the Ten Count movie and is flubbing with this rather popular shoujo manga adaptation, I do wonder what’s going on over there. Is it budget issue? Like, in some scenes, I see Hotaru’s eyes in different shapes. The shot below has it to where the right eye is rounder and the left is angular. Hananoi also looks a bit wonky in some shots. I know that not every animation studio is perfect and that animators in Japan are super overworked and underpaid. A part of me feels a bit relieved that they cancelled the Ten Count movie because if this is the sort of quality a super popular BL manga adaptation would receive, I’d rather not watch it; it doesn’t deserve this. Heck, this story deserves better if this keeps up!

I do wonder what next week will bring. Will Yao be in the picture or will that have wait? Will we see a glimpse of Hananoi’s childhood? I can’t wait. What are your thoughts on this episode?

[spacefinch]

Octonauts Pearl headcanons/appreciation post

She’s my favorite Octo Agent. Hands down.

Okay time for headcanons:

A few years older than Shellington.

Also autistic (it runs in her family.) Just like Shellington has his satchel, Pearl has her headband and fanny pack as her comfort items.

Her favorite school subject was/is maths. And she stands by it being referred to in the plural. Of course, she also loves biology as well.

Small things like rocks, seashells, plants, algae, and microorganisms endlessly fascinate her. She could spend hours looking at one tidepool and pointing out all the different species of algae growing in it.

Was always the favorite sibling (much to hers and Shellington’s displeasure). She was a model citizen in her parents’ eyes: neat, organized, not clumsy, and most importantly, able to eat sea urchins without getting sick. Pearl was everything that Shellington wasn’t, but Shellington never resented her for that.

An early riser. Partly because she has responsibilities, but mostly because the local sea lions and gulls make a huge racket in the morning.

When she was younger, Pearl’s hairstyle was much like Shellington’s. As a teen, she trimmed her own bangs— and has done so ever since.

Despite being older, she is the shortest of the sea otter siblings. Shellington never lets her hear the end of it.

Instinctively goes into older sibling mode or parent mode whenever someone’s out of line.

Don’t know what her music taste would be, but she seems like she’d enjoy indie folk music or classical music.

A few headcanons for Periwinkle as well:

Takes after Shellington, considering his curious personality.

Definitely a train/truck kid. (Source: he made his own Gup-M model. I also have two younger cousins who went through a train phase.)

Travels around a lot, which is an unusual upbringing for a sea otter. Both his mom and uncle lived along the coast of Scotland until they were old enough to go to college. By contrast, Peri is barely in elementary school and he’s already been all over the world.

Makes friends very, very easily. Like: an Octonaut, Octo-agent, or some random creature will just be existing and Peri will just go right up to them and declare them his new best friend.

Gets super excited about visiting “Uncle Shellington” and the other Octonauts. (This is kind of canon, but also me self-projecting. I too get excited to see my aunts and uncles and cousins.) He’s come to think of the Vegimals as his cousins.

More headcanons:

There’s probably more sea otters we haven’t seen yet in the Octonauts universe, since A) the whole existence of otter scouts implies the existence of lots of otters, and B) both river otters and sea otters are semi-social creatures, often living in small groups.

[pickalilywrites]

Historia receives a large amount of gifts on Valentines day from her admirers, making all of her siblings jealous. School Caste Modern AU.

a sweet bargain

historia reiss. frieda reiss. modern au. 1133 words.

Frieda loves her siblings, but she admittedly doesn’t pay as much attention to them as she used to. In between studying for standardized tests and prepping for college applications, she’s had less and less time to spend with them. It’s not just her. Her siblings have their own things going on, too. All of them have their own extracurriculars and have found their own group of friends. While there’s no doubt that they all get along well, the Reiss siblings have been spending less time together as a unit and often just stick to their own activities. It’s not odd to see her siblings hanging out with each other, so Frieda usually wouldn’t even bat an eyelash if she were to see them together except it is odd when she finds all her siblings gathered in Historia’s room whispering to each other.  

She spies them through the crack in the door. It’s clear they’ve snuck in from the way they’re keeping their voices low so others can’t overhear them. Not only that, but Historia rarely lets anyone into her room, preferring to keep to herself even more so than any of Frieda’s other siblings. Curious, Frieda hovers near the door, listening carefully to find out what mischief her younger siblings are up to. 

“... counted right? She can’t possibly have so many,” Florian, Frieda’s youngest sibling, says in a voice filled with doubt.  

“It’s not like there are a million,” snorts Abel, Frieda’s other younger sibling. “We’ve already counted five times. And what does it matter if it’s thirty or forty? At any rate, it’s a lot to get once you’re out of elementary school.”  

“I only got a few chocolates this year,” says Dirk, the youngest Reiss brother. “Do you think she’ll notice if we take some? She probably won’t even notice if we take one or two each.” 

“One, maybe, but she’d definitely notice if we each took two. That’s eight chocolates missing,” says the eldest brother Urklyn.  

Frieda sighs before barging in, making sure to shut the door so that it’s slightly ajar to ensure that Historia doesn’t catch them with the door wide open. She can just chastise their siblings and usher them out of Historia’s room. No need to incite Historia’s wrath if the only thing their siblings are doing are trespassing and jealously admiring the mountain of chocolate that Historia had most definitely gotten from her endless list of admirers this Valentine’s Day.  

“You guys shouldn’t be in here-” Frieda begins only to stop and stare at the chocolates piled in front of her siblings. It’s much more than she had been expecting. She stares with her mouth agape until she realizes her siblings are staring back at her in surprise. Frieda clears her throat, regaining her composure, and repeats, “You guys shouldn’t be in here. You know Historia doesn’t like it when we go into her room without permission.” 

“Frieda, have you seen how many chocolates Historia has? This is ridiculous,” Urklyn says, gesturing towards the chocolates. “I mean, we’re pretty popular, too, but this is crazy. I don’t think we ever got nearly as many chocolates as Historia.” 

Frieda is still thrown off by the shear amount of chocolates in front of them. She’s trying her best not to stare, but she’s not sure how much she’s succeeding. She clears her throat again and says as casually as possible, “It’s not that big of a deal. I got a lot of chocolates this year from Zeke.”  

Abel seems unimpressed at the mention of Frieda’s boyfriend. “Did Zeke give you this many chocolates, though?”  

Frieda purses her lips. Zeke had given her a whole basket of chocolates and other Valentine’s goodies, but the amount of sweets were nowhere near as much as what Historia had received. Reluctantly, she answers, “... No.” 

“If you keep silent about this, we’ll split the chocolates with you,” Urklyn tells Frieda. 

“Those aren’t even your chocolates to begin with,” Frieda protests, although the giant Toblerone poking out of the mountain of sweets is pretty tempting. Frieda bites her lip. Her eyes glance towards the door and she sits down beside her siblings. “Okay, but we should all only take one or else Historia will notice.” 

Frieda’s younger siblings cheer as Frieda joins them. All of them assess the mound of chocolates, trying to decide picking the largest chocolates or the brands they like the most. The youngest siblings like Abel and Florian select their chocolates quickly, eager to bite into the candy, while the elder siblings like Urklyn and Frieda take their time. They’re all so preoccupied with their chocolates that nobody notices Historia walking into her room and standing behind them, her arms folded across her chest as she looks down at them with a deep frown on her face. 

“What do you all think you’re doing in my room?” Historia asks. Her sudden appearance startles Florian so much that the youngest sibling drops her chocolate on the carpet.  

“My chocolate!” Florian cries with despair.  

“I think you mean my chocolate,” Historia says. She snatches the chocolate bar that Abel’s eating out of her hands and Abel whimpers. Historia’s blue eyes flit across all her siblings, her expression turning more and more disapproving as her gaze crosses from the youngest to the oldest Reiss siblings. “Not only did you all sneak into my room, but you also ate all of my chocolate.” 

“We didn’t eat all of it. You still have so much left,” Dirk begins, but he shuts up immediately when Historia glares at him.  

Historia holds out her hand and looks at her siblings expectantly. One by one, they all stand up and hand over their half-eaten chocolate, shame on their faces before they shuffle out of Historia’s room. It’s only when Frieda is handing over her chocolate that Historia speaks. 

“Them, I can understand, but I’m surprised to see you here,” Historia says amusedly. She tilts her head to the side. “Is Zeke not spoiling you?” 

“He can’t compete with all the admirers you have,” Frieda says. “It’s not like it would hurt you if we all took one. Would you have even noticed if they were gone?”  

“Well, I would have noticed these going missing because I bought them,” Historia begins but shuts up immediately when she realizes she’s said too much. Her cheeks begin to bloom with a bright pink blush. 

“So how many of these did you buy?” Frieda asks with a raised eyebrow. When Historia’s cheeks turn an even deeper shade of pink, Frieda suspects that her younger sister must have bought more of these chocolates than she had realized.  

Historia offers back Frieda’s half-eaten Toblerone. “I’ll give you this if you speak of this to no one.” 

Frieda takes it with a grin. “Deal.” 

[crimsonclove]

Did you know that my last living week in my born state was during 1999? That the only reason I’m still alive is because of a few family members?

It wasn’t that far after school had started for fifth grade. The summer I had gone away and come back to a new mother. Same person, but different. To the same apartment we had been in for a while… But different. To the same life, but different. I was terrified, I felt completely abandoned, because when you’re 9 years old and the only ‘stable’ world you were in changes how are you supposed to feel?...

I grew up with a teen mom, with her and her parents in Washington. We were on a cul-de-sac and I while I do not remember the meeting of our next-door neighbors, I know that they were the closest things to siblings and best friends that I had at the time while growing up. I was attached. We got into trouble, we played in the mud, in the flowers, and while they could climb trees, I could not. At some point we moved, and then they moved, but somehow, we ended up back at square one, just shifted to different places to live.

I don’t recall trauma bonding much, but I’m certain it was there from the time or remembering the oldest daughter washing dishes and making the younger kids ramen, to the second daughter making little tiny braids in my hair, to the third being a know it all “big sister” to myself, and the fourth daughter who I remember eating PBJ sandwiches with. My birthday falls between the third and fourth daughter. … I remember their mother making homemade playdough for us at some points in times. I don’t remember a load of bad times because I probably blocked a good chunk of my childhood out of my mind or I just let it disappear because I can’t imagine holding onto so much…darkness as a child. Regardless over the years, these kids became the closest things to siblings I had ever had. (Do I have actual siblings? Yes, however, there’s such a large gap in age that I don’t really know them like I knew these girls. Best friends in middle and high school were a close second.)

I went away one summer to visit the other side of my family and when my I returned my whole life had just changed. Time wise it seemed like it was instantaneous, but that happens when you leave the state, even a month or two- time is just effortless and ‘timey-wimey’ like so. While I was gone, all four girls were gone, the grandparents who had helped raise me moved to another state, and the lady who picked me up at the airport looked nothing like my mother but swears she was. (It really was her, no worries for an attempted child abduction.) I started school in the same elementary school I had been going to off and on since kindergarten ( I was bullied relentlessly), I lost so many keys when it came to getting back into our apartment from their office, I walked myself to and from school. I’m not sure who did my laundry if it was done at all. There was ramen, Cheerios, Syrup, and chocolate malt-o-meal in the apartment in the house, and water from the tap. ( I would ear cold malt-o-meal, and cheerios covered in syrup, and hard ramen.)

I remember seeing my mother a handful of times through out the entire start of school till November. At some point during a weekend my mom, the girls’ mom, and I and someone else got to drive to Idaho and go see daughter 3 &4 at their dads. I was so excited to see them again, only to realize that it felt like I was lost and not remembered because they kept calling me by their cousin’s name who they were spending time with. I was annoyed at that, but when we left to go back to Washington I remember my heart feeling heavy and my world feeling worse, even as I tried pushing away the feelings.

One weekend, I went to spend the night with my Uncle and Aunt, I don’t remember a whole lot, but I remember my mom not coming to pick me up when she said that she was going to. I remember my Aunt comforting me about spending another night, distracting me with who knows what at the time. Then it was another day, and while I remember my mom finally coming to take me home, I wasn’t allowed to leave with her, and instead my mom’s sister came and got me, and for weeks I got to stay with her. Where I had clean clothes, where I had actual food to eat, where I had one large dog that I enjoyed playing with, and two small dogs who didn’t like me much, but my Aunt adored them. Can I say how thankful I am for her? No… There aren’t enough words as I type this to describe that she is by far the only reason that I was not turned over to CPS, to end up in a foster program at age 9. Even through hearing her and her husband at the time fighting, though I don’t remember the words, I do know that it was about me, and about my mom.

Within 3 weeks I was told that I’d be packing stuff up and moving out of state to live with my grandparents and that... That was how I ended up in a new state in a nutshell. Dealing with things that I probably should have been in therapy for to learn how to handle and regulate everything that happened.

[suckitsurveys]

Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? I do. I love getting magnets and shot glasses from places.

Do you get angry with people easily? Not really, no.

Have you ever had the flu? Probably as a kid.

What about strep throat? Yes, several times as a child.

What would you say is the worst kind of emotional pain? Losing people you’re close to. And not just from death, but in general.

Have you ever been to a psychologist? No, just a counselor.

What’s the worst part about school? Literally everything.

Do you normally have a lot of homework, if you’re still in school? --

When was your last vacation? The end of September. Mark and I took a little trip for his birthday.

Would you ever consider going on a cruise? I would never do an overnight cruise.

What did you last buy from the store? Groceries.

Would you say you enjoy being single or in a relationship more? I definitely enjoy being in a relationship.

Do you try to stay busy a lot? No. I really enjoy doing nothing lol.

What’s your favorite quote? “Love her, but leave her wild”

Do you lie a lot? No.

Do you still act childish most of the time? Not most of the time, no, but I definitely have my child-like moments.

Did you ever enjoy gym class? In elementary school it meant I got to play with my friends, so yes. What is your biggest insecurity? My body.

Have you ever painted a room alone? Not alone, no.

Speaking of which, when did you last paint your room? I haven’t.

What does your favorite jacket / hoodie look like? My favorite hoodie is black and has the TGS with Tracy Jordan logo on the back and a smaller logo with “STAFF” under it on the front. It’s 30 Rock merch and I love it so much. 

What’s for dinner tonight? I’m not sure. One of our meal delivery kit dinners. I can’t remember which ones we have though.

Do you ever drink alcohol? I do.

Have you ever had a terrible hangover? Oh yes.

Do you ever get migraines? Yes. They’re awful, but I can usually catch them because I get the tunnel vision before the pain and I take something right away. If I wake up with one, though, it’s game over.

Do you know how to garden? Yes.

What was the last thing you plugged into an outlet? The coffee maker this morning.

Do people consider you to be a funny person? I think so.

Do you have any bad habits? Oh yes.

Do you like children? I LOVE my nieces. They are my whole WORLD and their happiness and health is the most important thing to me. I love spending time with them and listening to them and watching them grow and become smarter and funnier every day. And I am a HUGE advocate for children and them being treating fairly and appropriately. Children did not ask to be brought into this world. You decided to have a child, now it’s your responsibility to care for a nurture and love that child. You need to adapt to them, not the other way around. There are too many children being abused and neglected and put into foster care systems that do much of the same. That being said, I can recognize that having a child of my own is NOT for me. I can hardly take care of myself and I know, 100%, I could not mentally, emotionally, or physically raise one of my own properly, and there are things about myself I am unwilling to change for the sake of another human. I think if more people recognized this (and abortion wasn’t still so fucking regulated), there would be less abused/neglected children in this world. Sorry to go off on that tangent lol.

If not, why is this? I realized I never actually answered the question asked above lol. Overall, yes, I like children and will always advocate for them, but as a human who loves peace and quiet, holy shit can they be annoying as hell hahahaha.

What is your favorite snack? Chips and dips; mainly tortilla chips and guac/salsa. And popcorn.

Do you own any gaming systems? We have a Wii, lol.

How old were your parents when they had you? My mom was 37 and my dad was 39.

Is there a big age difference between you and the person you like? Mark is 5 years older, which, according to TikTok, is a big age difference.......we met when I was 21 and he was 26, and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Do you trash talk people a lot? Every now and then, usually just in a joking way.

What is the most amusing thing on the internet, in your opinion? I mean, a lot of things on the internet amuse me, which is why I spend so much time there, lol.

Does the future excite you or scare you? Both, which is how it should be.

Have you ever been to Disney World? Nope.

If so, how many times have you been? ---

Do you try to spend a lot of time with family? Yes.

How often do you shower? Every other day.

What would you say is your favorite genre of music? I am so bad with genres. I just like what I like and I don’t feel the need to categorize it.

Do you need to clean your bedroom? Yes. What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? Live?

Do you enjoy Chinese food? It’s not usually my first choice, but there are some dishes I enjoy. I also notice there is some over-lap in Asian cuisine. Like, I feel like almost every Chinese restaurant has crab rangoon, but I have also seen that at Thai and Japanese places as well. Same with egg rolls. And I’ve also seen pad thai served at Chinese places, too.

Do you smile a lot? Sure. What is your favorite movie from the nineties? Clueless or Romy and Michele.

Which decade were you born in? The 80s, technically. Near the very very end of it.

Are you good at giving advice to people? Depends.

How many huge secrets do you have? None.

How many people know these secrets? ---

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Twice, usually. I’m better about it at night because I don’t want shit sitting in my teeth all night lol. Do you ever floss? I use those little toothpicks with the floss in them

Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? Yeah, I am in one now. We’ve been together for 11 years and married for 5.

Ever considered suicide? Yes.

If so, did you try to commit suicide? No.

Is there anyone out there who makes you feel completely useless? I mean, it’s not really specific to a person, but anyone can potentially make me feel useless in certain situations. Do you like texting or calling people more? Texting.

What’s your favorite band? Probably Vampire Weekend.

Do you have a lot of friends? I have a good handful.

Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? Not really.

Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? I like both.

When did you last babysit, if ever? Last month, but I am actually babysitting tomorrow.

Do you have any younger siblings? Nope. Have you ever thought of someone as useless? Yes, my brother in law is useless. He brings absolutely nothing to the table and he’s a huge fucking piece of fucking garbage.

Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? It’s currently bleached.

Do you drink vitamin water? No.

Do you ever straighten your hair? No, it’s already pretty straight. What’s the best way to end a conversation? Totally depends.

Are there any old movies you absolutely love? Of course.

Have you ever had a Big Mac before? I have..  

Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? I only need to attract my husband and I seem to have done a pretty good job at that lol.

Where is your favorite place to travel? I like going to new places but I have a handful of places I frequent.

What is your goal for the next few months? Workout in one way or another every day (with some exceptions) for the next 4 weeks, and then 8 weeks, and then 12 weeks, and so on. And eat better.

Can you count to ten in another language other than your own? Yes.

Do you own a lot of shoes? No, just a handful of pairs. What is your favorite season and why? I’m into the latter half of the year. Like, June-December. I LOVE summer and all it’s nostalgia and activities, and Fall is gorgeous and beautiful and has Halloween, and the first couple weeks of winter aren’t too horrible and Christmas happens, but then January-May are always HORRIBLE weather and otherwise and I want to throw them in a dumpster fire.

Have you ever played on a sports team before? No.

If you have, what was that sport and when? ---

Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? No.

Do you think you’re a good singer? No.

Would you rather wear jeans or sweatpants? Leggings.

Do you think you have a good sense of style? No.

Do you enjoy reading often? No.

Have you ever had a deadly illness? I probably have one right now hahahahaha.

Ever had food-poisoning before? Nope.

Where did you last eat dinner at? My house.

Have you ever shot a gun before? A bb gun.

[likelycatherinemay]

Diary 3/?

"We wanted three boys. We were happy with your older sisters, but both your father and I were overjoyed when you came around. Your father was especially happy because he knew we wouldn't try for a fourth," my mother imparted.

"That's wonderful," I responded, smiling. The smile didn't meet my eyes. It was a story I had become accustomed to hearing from my mother, the grand celebration of my existence. It was as if the universe was justifying to my parents why I was worth the months and then years of labor and "love." I knew the second part of the anecdote would be recounted in a moment. The part of coming into the world that continued to track my existence like a looming specter.

"Of course, we had to have a name if you were a girl," my mom recalled. It was a small miracle she had ever fallen for the shambling mess that was my father. He struggled to love, she loved too much. She thought the best part of the day was when she got home from work, he couldn't wait to bury the concerns of home in his job. I had taken the latter habit from my mother but never the former. In some cruel quirk of fate, I would always be my father's son. It was particularly terrible to have been cursed with his signature attribute despite sharing very little in resemblance. His dark brown hair mirrored my oldest sister while my chestnut hair was the spitting image of my mother. I stood four inches taller, coming closer to my tall mother than my father. My thin frame was akin to my mother's in distinct opposition to my father's compact, muscly frame. I had spent time in the gym, but any increase in weight that could've potentially granted me the build of my father was met with the demonic voice in my skull that spoke every time I gazed in the mirror.

They had both been cruel in their own special ways, my father clearly was frustrated with the son he had been granted and failed to mold. A poor athlete and mediocre student, he was forced to endure years of indignity. It was only when he realized how much his relationships with other human beings had deteriorated that he became desperate to mend the bridges with his children. My sisters remarked how they had felt sorry when he was forced to spend Christmas alone after he divorced my mom.

"I'm not," I stated indignantly. They seemed taken aback by the sudden cruelty of the statement. "He chose divorce. He chose loneliness."

His frustration with me lashed out periodically. One of my most vivid memories came on New Year's Day when I interrupted him for the second time during a lengthy conversation. I was not yet ten.

"Do you ever stop talking? It's just never-ending," he spat. It took me a beat to process. My eyes came to the conclusion first then my legs. His heir, his hopes ran away in tears. There was no apology. I cried a lot for a boy. So much so that my mother assuaged her worries by telling me this once as we were driving home from elementary school:

"Don't worry, once you get to middle school, you'll meet real boys," she assured me. Even at the time, I understood what she meant. My closest friend was clearly not the archetypical masculine man. He talked softly, something I discovered from hours on the phone during the summer, he didn't play sports, and he had little care for romantically pursuing girls. I'm sure you've put the pieces together. He would listen to my lies for hours. I spun him tall tails about girls I had kissed, and he would laugh, bringing heat to my face. For a moment, I was someone worthy of listening. I was an interesting person for him. An endless story that became more absurd with each retelling.

I did meet those real boys in middle school, but it was the reckoning with lies that met me swiftly. Finally, the crushing weight of an absurd lie forced a confession out of me. Then, I cried. Far from meeting the boys who would iron out my flaws, I exploded outward in an embarrassing show of emotion. I sobbed in front of my whole family about a relationship that I didn't understand. That I had ruined.

"There's plenty of friends to make in middle school," my mom comforted. It was very like my mom to say something like this. She was the best person to come to problems with. These were the moments she was an eternal optimist in stark contrast to her discoveries of indiscretions. It occurs to me now that it was darkly humorous that she bookended my "friendship."

"You-you-you d-d-on't understand," I sobbed in the backseat of the car. My mom had picked a poor moment to probe the issue, sitting outside my sister's cello lesson. Now, my sisters got a front-row seat to my meltdown.

I read once in Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare (don't laugh) that sobs are much worse coming from a boy or a man. There was a sense of deep shame in those sobs. It feels like the tears were being dragged out and put on trial for their sudden embarrassing display. Those aren't Clare's direct words, and I no longer own the book. I remember reading them later, knowingly. This shame escaped comfort, forgiveness, or a sense of loss. I had known at once what it had meant to be swallowed by emotion.

"Your name would've been Catherine May. How about that?" my mom hit me with her winning smile.

"How about that," I repeated.

Long one, sorry about that.

I'm on page 290 of R.F. Kuang's Babel. I'm on a bit of a Kuang kick atm. I fInished the rest of The Poppy War series in between my last entries if you, nonexistent reader, are puzzled as to where the other books are.

"And I hope you have a good night/weekend/I hope I talk to you soon, alright, GodSpeed."

[greenelight]

˗ˏˋ     ᵉˣᵗ·     MoMA   front   entrance   ﹕   we've   got   a   big   ,   big   day   ahead   of   us.   |   co   -   starring @eueclid   as   alice   bingley.

despite   being   the   smaller   of   the   two   ,   alice   manages   to   walk   a   hell   of   a   lot   faster   than   mason   does   ,   making   the poor aspiring actor   struggle   as   he   tried   to   catch   up   as   best   he   can.   he   weaves   through   the   busy   morning   traffic   of   pedestrians   trying   to   get   to   work   ,   appointments   &   whatever   else   is   going   on   in   their   lives   ,   his   long   legs   proving   useless   against   alice's   budding   enthusiasm   for   the art museum.   when   mason   agreed   to   going   to   the   art   museum   with   her   ,   he   didn't   think   they'd   be   going   at   the   peak   hours   of   the   morning   where   the   foot   &   car   traffic   were   at   its   worse.   he   likes   going   to   the   MoMA   as   much   as   the   next   person   ,   but   maybe   not   to   this   degree   ,   not   enough   that   he   has   to   stop   to   apologize   to   a   mom   &   their   daughter   for   tripping   over   the   bluey   stuffed   animal   the   little   girl   decided   to   toss   onto   the   sidewalk   right   as   mason   approached.   was   it   done   on   purpose   ?   probably.   but   even   so   ,   mason   felt   bad   about   stepping   on   a   beloved   character   like   bluey   ,   &   he   was   still   no   where   near   close   to   reaching   up   with   his   friend.   shit.

with   the   MoMA   finally   in   sight   ,   it   allows   mason   time   to   finally   catch   up   with   his   friend   ,   who   stopped   right   at   the   steps   to   admire   the   building.   he   doesn't   even   know   if   she   noticed   how   far   behind   he   got   the   moment   they   started   walking   ,   but   at   least   they   made   it   right   when   the   museum   was   about   to   open   ,   waiting   with   crowds   of   tourists   &   elementary   school   students   dying   to   get   in.   silence   falls   around   them   as   they   wait   in   line   to   check   in   with   their   tickets   &   of   course   ,   as   if   purposefully   timed   ,   mason's   stomach   growls   with   clear   disdain.   in   order   to   wake   up   early   ,   mason   skipped   breakfast   so   he   could   make   it   to   alice's   place   on   time   ﹙   he   was   still   five   minutes   late   but   better   late   than   never   ﹚.   now   he's   gonna   pay   the   price   for   it   for   the   rest   of   the   day   ,   unless   he   can   somehow   convince   her   to   head   to   the   cafe   first   before   they   spend   their   whole   day   buried   in   the   galleries.   ❝   aliiiiceeee.   ❞   he   sings   her   voice   out   like   a   siren   luring   his   prey   ,   paired   with   a   charming   smile   &   the   biggest   brown   eyes   anyone's   ever   seen.   ❝   could   we   pleeeeease   go   to   the   cafe   &   have   breakfast   before   we   start   our   tour   ?   i'm   dyiiiiing   of   hunger.   i   skipped   breakfast   just   to   wake   up   early   for   you.   ❞   one   would   argue   ten   thirty   is   not   really   that   early   ,   but   that's   honestly   subjective.   ❝   i'll   even   buy   you   a   muffin   or   whatever   you   want.   please   ?   you   missed   me   almost   getting   trampled   back   there as we were walking.   i   almost   murdered   a   bluey   doll   with   my   foot   !   a   nice   cappuccino   &   an   egg   sandwich   would   really   lift   my   spirits & it'll totally get me ready to talk about art all day.   ❞

[amalgamgooze]

Today, my high school hosted their annual art show.

This year was the first (and last) year that I had a piece featured in it.

It was also the first (and possibly last) time I'll go to it. (Though maybe I'll be back someday?)

Though I'd never been to one before, this year's exhibition felt special compared to the other years.

Maybe it was because a lot of my friends had full displays at this show.

=====================================

I walked in, showed my parents the one thing I'd painted, and quickly made my way to the main floor where all my friends were displaying their work.

First, I'd stopped at a table with a friend I knew from soccer at the beginning of the school year. He'd been injured for the first half of the season, so we'd spent a lot of time talking while on the sidelines. (It's worth noting I managed the team, so I didn't spend much time in drills either.) While we talked about his art projects occasionally, I had no idea what to expect tonight from his display at the art show.

What I didn't expect was Wes Anderson level stop-motion projects. At no point had I ever gotten the feeling that this friend was one who'd worked with stop-motion. A whole area was dedicated to watching various films he'd made. My favorite one was one he'd made about lemmings, which was a criticism of the work-intensive culture in America. (You know I love my societal parodies!)

But I think it goes to show that you'll never really know everything about a person. In fact, I'm still learning new stuff about my parents even after living with them for the past eighteen years.

Next' I'd visited a table with a newer friend, who, while we went to elementary school together, I can't say we talked much until more recently during art class. She was always working on some crochet stuff or something similar, so when I finally read their exhibit description, I was honestly shocked to find out that they focused on making their own dyes.

You know, like in Minecraft? When you take the flowers and--it's something I'd always been interested in doing, but never really had the time to do myself. It was exhilarating to see someone else who'd actually taken it up seriously. I can't explain why. After all, I wasn't even doing the thing--someone else was, and I still thought it was cool!

Maybe it's because it was someone I knew in person, who existed as a real tangible person as opposed to the online people I could've watched do the same techniques. That's just my guess.

Then I walked past the piano, which one of my friends was playing. They'd played piano at past art shows, usually with someone else to take turns with, but this time, they played the whole two hours alone. I commend Piano Friend for this--it's hard for me to even improvise for more than an hour before my hands hurt!

I also feel kind of bad for them--he never got a chance to look at most of the art, save for the displays near him. Nonetheless...

Near Piano Friend was quite possibly the most awesome artist at our school--who also happened to be another one of my friends! She was super busy talking to the many people who'd come to look at her work--as expected, since she's done so much art-related stuff for the school. Her first piece of the year was elected as the poster for the art show, and she was also commissioned to design the 2024 mural portrait thingy. (I don't remember exactly what it's called right now, but it's kind of a big deal to have the honor of designing it!)

Honestly, I didn't feel a strong need to talk to Awesome Friend since they seemed so busy with all the art show guests, and I get to talk to her every day at school anyway. Nonetheless, I still said hello when I had a chance to.

After that, I had a pleasant conversation with another artist who'd taken a more abstract approach to art. We discussed how "spontaneous art is often great", and how playing the guitar spontaneously often leads to better melodies than playing it mechanically.

Finally, I stopped at another newer elementary school friend's (like Dye Friend) display, which featured a painting of an image that was unmistakably a painting of a scene from our kindergarten play. Obviously, when I asked her about it, she confirmed my assumptions, and also added that the work made her feel a little sad.

I must admit it also made me sad, but in a good nostalgic sort of way. I feel that the painting was sort of a testament to how far we'd come since then. Just twelve short years ago we were on the stage retelling the children's story "Are You My Mother?", and now here we were getting ready to graduate from high school.

Of course, and all the things that happened between those two points.

=====================================

This year's art show was, again, special.

Though I've tried to appreciate and understand art when I go to museums and such, I can't say I've ever understood it as fully as I did tonight. When I know and have watched the stories behind the pieces my classmates've worked on, it really adds something to the experience of viewing all the finished works displayed together.

Honestly, I'm a bit miffed that I'll probably never know the art at an exhibition again as well as I did tonight.

But life goes on. And I'll have new once-in-a-lifetime experiences to mourn the singleton-ness of soon.

[saydams]

just a ramble.

im usually really pretty good at social interaction. i mean, it's super hard, it takes all my energy for several days to interact with someone successfully. and i spend the whole time flipping between scripts and correcting myself from veering the wrong way and second guessing everything. and i practice a lot how to be welcoming and kind and helpful and comforting in a way that comes across like that. and when i should use that. because i want to be someone that helps and not hurts. and i like living in a world where people try to do that, so i try and do my part.

and im really pleased when i manage it. and im really proud of my skills in this.

(online i write and re-write everything before i post, and then after i post i usually go back a few times to correct and rewrite again over a few hours. it's so hard to get it to say what i am trying to say, without accidentally saying something else)

so it's always so much more jarring when i mess up. because as i've gotten older and more experienced and more practiced, i have let my guard down for mistakes. i no longer expect all interactions to end in disaster. (well, i do, but i recognize that that usually not what is going to happen)

i was just thinking about it today. about how i forget how much work i always put into this. and also how much worse i used to be.

i was thinking about growing up. and how hard it was to make friends. and i just now realized i never actually made one? growing up anyway.

i had friends. i just now realized, though, that they were all assigned to me.

when i was a toddler my mom ran a babysitting co-op. those kids were my "friends". (i know this is standard for little kids). i stayed friends with the kids whose parents my mom stayed friends with. when we moved in elementary school, my mom took me over to play with one of her friends in the new town, who had a kid my age. and that was my friend while we lived there.

when i moved again later in elementary school, the principal assigned me a friend. so that was my friend. (the next year he assigned me to be the "friend" of a student just moving to town. that new student wanted NOTHING to do with me and made their own friends. and i spent so much time and energy hanging around them, trying so hard to be a good friend. i hated it but we were friends, so i did my best. --now i realize that they hated me and wanted me to go away. this didnt occur to me, as we were friends)

later that year my teacher in elementary paired me with another student for us to be friends. they were super outgoing and friendly and had lots of friends. fortunately they were willing to be friends, so suddenly i had a whole bunch of friends. we stayed friends through high school. (in high school my mom told me to look for another of her friends' kids to be friends with.)

i never made any friends on my own. they were all assigned to me, and they put up with me or not. only one enjoyed it, looking back. and i was fortunate their friend group also accepted me.

and as an adult, all of my friends i currently know are from being absorbed into the friend group of a very social person who saw me and was attracted to me. and so befriended me. everyone i know now is through them.

i forget this is unusual. so sometimes i get tripped up. and then i always feel so unbalanced.

there is no point to this ramble. just thinking.