#like. when i saw the title to their announcement my immediate thought was ''Good for them!''

[theorderofthetriad]

personally, i think creators have the right to ask for money for their work, and they're not obligated to give their work to you for free, even if they originally did.

and i think if a platform doesn't work for a creator, they shouldn't have to stay there, especially a platform as famously shitty for creators as youtube.

yeah, not everyone can afford to spare six dollars a month, but also no one is going to die because they can't watch watcher anymore. anyone who wants to watch them that bad w/o the cash to spare will inevitably find ways to access it for free anyways.

so all in all, i'm shocked and disappointed by the response i've seen to the watcher announcement. I thought this was the "don't devalue artists! their work is worth something! you should pay creators for their work!" website, but as soon as it's a popular youtuber not only is their work suddenly not worth paying for, but they're worthy of mockery and vitriol for daring to ask?

like this was literally SUCH a non issue it's sad to see people so up in arms about it AND being completely in the wrong while doing it.

[goldenwilliamson]

would you maybe be able to write a fic for leah where the reader is a famous singer and goes to an arsenal or england game and then gets to meet the team after and leah is secretly a huge fan trying to play it cool (kind of like becks/posh)???

fan behaviour | leah williamson

pairing: leah williamson x reader

a/n: love this ask, feel like i miiight have read something similar to this but can't remember who wrote it, so apologies for conceptual similarities if there is any. also i reference reader wearing leah's no. 8 england jersey even though leah has worn many different numbers for england lol.

summary: reader is a famous singer who goes to an england game and goes back to meet the girls after, not knowing leah williamson thinks she is the fittest woman to walk the earth. leah's fellow lionesses taking the piss out of her a bit for her crush. reader finding it endlessly endearing, as you would.

word count: 2.1k

When you had asked your manager if she could organise getting you tickets to see the Lionesses play, you hadn't expected that your love for the women's team would be reciprocated in any way. So you were pleasantly surprised when your manager informed you that the team wanted to meet you after the game, and agreed immediately.

You had briefly met a few of the players already at a GQ event last year, and on that occasion you had found yourself completely infatuated with the captain Leah Williamson. You had watched on in the Euros as she lead the team out with such confidence and from there you had definitely developed a small crush on the footballer. You had even sourced yourself a number 8 Williamson jersey to wear to the final at Wembley.

After the historic final you shared a photo of yourself and your family donned proudly in your England jerseys to your instagram that night with the caption 'claiming the title of the @lionesses biggest fan. the girls brought it home ⚽️🔥❤️'. Little did you know that when Leah saw your post, she had made sure everyone on the team had seen that you were wearing her jersey. She couldn't believe her eyes, or that a musician of your status was posting about the Lionesses. In a simple display of mutual affection, Leah liked the post and left a comment saying 'The feeling is mutual, thanks for the love x'.

It wasn't until later in the year that the two of you had finally met at the GQ Men of the Year event after the Euros. You had seen her across the room and made a shamless beeline for her. Though no introductions were necessary, you both introduced yourselves, and right off the bat Leah mentioned the fact that you had posted a photo of yourself in her jersey. You tried your best to play it cool, but you certainly were blushing, which Leah only found more endearing.

"I've got to back the captain haven't I?" You'd told her.

"I'm not complaining, it looked better on you than it does on me," she responded flirtatiously with practised ease.

"You're making me blush now," you pat your cheeks, feeling the warmth of your face.

"Surely you get people complimenting you in every room you walk into," Leah said matter of factly, only flattering you further.

"Leah Williamson, stop inflating my ego!" You laughed, "You live a far more respectable life than I do, and you manage to look this bloody good while doing it," you motion up and down her body with your hands to her outfit, completely blown away by her ability to look so damn good in and out of kit.

"Well I'll take the compliment, but I'll have you know I have a great respect for you and your music," she says sincerely.

"Thank you, I guess it's my turn to take the compliment too," you tell her, and sadly your conversation is cut short by an announcement that the award ceremony is about to commence and that everyone must move to their seats. The rest of the night your mind was occupied with thoughts of the English captain, especially since she was honoured with multiple speeches of people singing her praises.

And while you couldn't have known it, Leah's mind was filled with you. After that night she had strictly listened to your music on repeat for weeks, much to the annoyance of her teammates who demanded something else be played since it was Leah who had the role of team DJ.

A few months later when you decided to secure tickets to the Arnold Clark Cup game in Milton Keynes, you had secretly hoped you might get another encounter with Leah, and your manager had confirmed this at the start of the night.

When the girls were in the change room before hand, news began to travel that you were in the crowd, but it hadn't reached Leah until she queued up one of your songs in the pre-game playlist and realisation dawned on Ella Toone's face.

"Can you believe Y/N Y/L/N is here? Apparently she's going to come say hello after the game," Ella said.

"Is she really?" Leah said, her voice coming out squeaky, the excitement evident.

"Oh good Lee, maybe you can just ask her out like a normal human instead of listening to her like an obsessive fan," Georgia Stanway said loud enough for every one to hear, making the team laugh.

"Give it a rest," Leah shook her head, but she smiled, knowing Georgia had a point.

Leah knew she had spent way too much time thinking about you for only having met you that one time, but she couldn't help it. She definitely felt there was a little chemistry in your brief conversation at the GQ event. She tried not to let herself believe that but, after all, you were one of the most famous artists in the world, and she was just a footballer. She wasn't even sure that you dated women. Either way, the idea that you were in the crowd made her want to put in a good performance.

From your posh seats, which you felt extremely lucky to be in, you were enthralled in the game, cheering as loud as anyone when the girls scored their 4 goals against South Korea. You'd even come wearing a Williamson Jersey under your coat, and throughout the game your eye was consistently drawn to the blonde defender who charmed you those months ago.

When the game ended one of the many people working behind the scenes for the Lionesses came to find you at your seat to escort you and your manager through the back of the stadium down to where the team was.

You could hear the sound of Murder On The Dancefloor playing loudly as you followed your escort towards the change room where the team was clearly celebrating their win. The girls were mostly too busy dancing and shouting along with the song to notice your entrance, which made you smile. You didn't want to disrupt their celebrations by any means, but the woman who brought you down had cleared her throat to get the girls attention.

"Sorry to interrupt ladies, but I've got someone special here who has kindly come to say hello!" She announces to the room and instantly the heads turn your way.

You flash a smile and wave as the music gets turned down, "Sorry to show up in the middle of such a good song," you apologise.

"Are you kidding me? The music can wait, you're Y/N bloody Y/L/N," Ella said, making you laugh.

"And you're Ella bloody Toone, it's so good to meet you. I'm a huge fan of you all," You said, expressing your love for the entire team, looking around the room. Even though you've brushed shoulders with more celebrities than you can count, staring into a room of footballers you admire felt extremely surreal.

"We're fans of yours, especially Leah," Georgia says, gesturing across the room with her thumb towards Leah who you were only managing to see now.

She stood resting against the wall with her arms crossed, shaking her head, "Thanks for that G."

You decide it's getting a bit awkward with everyone staring at you, as if you're about to give a half time pep talk so you try to diffuse the situation a little.

"Well I'd love to get around and have a chat with all of you, but please put your music on and do your thing, I feel silly standing up here in front of you all," you say, smiling.

"You heard her girls, stop staring, play the music Leah," Millie Bright said instructively and you watched as Leah picked her phone up and pressed play on the music.

Instantly many went back to singing along to the Sophie Ellis-Bextor classic, and you made your way over towards Georgia Stanway giving her a hug hello, and sitting down with her for a chat.

"That penalty was unreal," you told Georgia, referring to the goal she scored in the game. You spoke with her easily, feeling like you were catching up with a friend.

You continued to move your way around the room, chatting with some of the girls individually and with some in smaller groups. While they all had compliments for you and questions to ask, you met them with the exact same energy. The room quickly filled up with more people who work for the team and friends and family which made you feel less like you were a lucky fan who had orchestrated a private meet and greet with the team.

The whole time you were in the room you were looking for Leah out of the corner of your eye, wanting to save her for a bit later so you could get some more time to talk with her. Once you'd basically made your rounds of the room chatting to the players and their family members you finally made your way over to Leah.

"Saving the best for last?" Leah smirks at you as you approach.

"Well I'm not one to pick favourites, but I did wear my Williamson jersey tonight," you say, pushing open your coat to show off the white England jersey tucked loosely into your pants.

"I can't get over you wearing my shirt," Leah said, her pearly white teeth on full display, which you reflected with your own face.

"Is it surreal for you? Since I hear you're such a big fan of mine and all," you say, reference Georgia's little quip from earlier which didn't fly under your radar.

"Oh, she's got banter," Leah says, an eyebrow raised.

"She tries," you shrug your shoulders.

"Well if you must know, yes I'm a fan. I may even have been told off for playing too much of your music around the girls," she admits, "But you've got my name on your back so I'd say the feeling is mutual."

"Oh, it's definitely mutual, if anything I'm underplaying how big of a fan I am," you say, your honesty laced with sarcasm.

Leah smiles, "Well if we're being honest I'm really glad you came today, I was disappointed we didn't get to chat more back at that GQ event," Leah says earnestly.

"So was I! I actually tried to find you later that night but had no luck," you said.

"Oh, you did? I was probably just sitting with Alex Scott chatting her ear off about how fit you are," Leah says, her forwardness catching you off guard just slightly.

"Well just as well I came here today then," you said, dropping your voice slightly and leaning in closer to her ear, "Because I haven't stopped thinking about you since that night."

"Well what do you say we get together for coffee soon and we can gush over each other some more?" Leah offers and you light up at the idea.

"I'd say that's a great idea," you nod, laughing, "Here let me give you my number," you motion towards the phone in her hand and she unlocks it, handing it over to you. You open her contacts and create a new one for you.

"Alright, all done," you hand her phone back to her, feeling your heart beating in your chest.

"Perfect, well, Y/N, it was a pleasure to see you again," Leah says, opening her arms for a hug, which you slip into gladly.

"Yes, always a pleasure. Make sure you text me later, don't leave me hanging," you say in your embrace, knowing that you're close enough to Leah that the other girls might not hear.

"I wouldn't dare," Leah promises.

"Alright, good," you smile as you step away.

Now that your conversation has come to an end Leah turns back to the rest of the girls, most of whom are watching your and Leah's interaction very closely.

"Alright girls, Y/N is heading off now, say your goodbyes," Leah says, using what you think must be her captain voice, sounding very assertive.

"Bye guys, it's been so good to meet you all," you tell everyone as they all say goodbye and thank you for coming. You embrace almost everyone in a hug as you slowly making your way back around to the door where your manager waits for you.

You give one last wave goodbye, and have one last look at Leah who is watching every move of yours with a small smile on her face. She waves at you as you look at her and with that you turn and leave the room.

As you walk through the stadium to the back entrance where a car is waiting for you, your manager asks how you're feeling after meeting all the girls.

You giggle like you're a teenager again as you tell her, "I think I have a date with Leah Williamson."

[artists-ally]

{Flatline} Harvey Specter x OFC {Pt. 1}

I got the title from this song called Flatline by Jared Benjamin. I added it to this playlist of very Harvey Specter vibes if you'd like to listen. There will be multiple parts, around three so be sure to stick around for those. As always comment and tell me what you think, or pop by in my asks. Anyhoo enjoy my loves!

Word count ~ 10,619 (it is a very fast paced read I promise)

Warnings ~ Age gap, smut (18+), handjob, no real BDSM but Dom/Sub concepts, language, alcohol, anxiety/anxious thoughts, probably really inaccurate lawyer terms idk man.

Summary: Harvey has taken notice of the hardest working first year associate, Claudia Martin. Despite being petrified of the infamous closer, she tried her hardest to not let it get the best of her. Harvey has a few ideas on how to increase her confidence.

Tagging : @maxdamax @ashcosmo @rosedpetal (This is basically just dedicated to you three so I hope you enjoy it the most!)

~~~~~

“Alright, everybody stop,” Harvey announced. I put down my file and sat ramrod straight in my seat, eyes darting at the other associates as they put theirs away too. “We have been working on this case now for four hours and no one has brought me a single thing that I can use as evidence. Now, if someone doesn’t put a file in my hand in the next ten minutes, we’re going to lose. And those of you who don’t want to get stuck doing whatever bullshit Louis is going to punish you with, you better come up with something fast.”

I looked at the blue file in my hands, heart hammering in my chest as I saw Harvey leave out of the corner of my eye. With a deep breath, I pushed up out of my chair and followed after him. 

Circling around the office a few times, I made up reasons and excuses not to go see him. It was stupid, I knew that, but I didn’t want to bring him something and then immediately be called an idiot for bringing him shit he already knew.

I saw how he treated Mike. And Louis. Even Donna from time to time.

There were two things you did in this world: die, and respect Harvey Specter. As a first year associate in this god awful firm, you didn’t dare break his trust or waste his time. 

“Is Mr. Specter available for a moment?” I asked Donna. I hadn’t talked to her much, but I’ve heard her speak to Harvey a few times around the office. She was someone I wished I knew better, someone I wished I could ask for help, but I didn’t want to bother her either. 

“Yeah, he’s in his office going over the statements from the mock trial,” Donna smiled, pointing over her shoulder. I nodded, willing my feet to move in the direction of his office. I knocked before pushing the glass door opening, keeping my head down. 

“Claudia, now is really not a good-” “I have something for you,” we spoke at the same time. “I’m sorry to interrupt, I can come back and-” “Is that for the mock trial?” He asked, and I nodded. “Hand it over.”

I placed the file in his outstretched hand as he came around to sit on the corner of the desk. My hands were trembling with dread as his eyes raked over the words on the page. The lines in his forehead creased, eyes narrowing.

“Claudia, this is brilliant,” he had a very confused expression when his eyes met mine. “Where did you find this?”

“Well, I figured if Mrs. Thompson said that she didn’t pay her rent that month, because there wasn't money in her account, then there had to be some kind of a trail. Some clue. There was, but it was only an amount, and it didn’t say which account it came from. When I did some digging, I found out that she uses Capital One banking and when I looked at her bank statement-

“There was a draw for the exact amount that Mr. Saros used to bet on that game,” Harvey finished before I could get the words out of my mouth. “Claudia, this is genius. Come on, we’ve got a case to win.”

____

“...Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this compelling evidence reveals that Mr. Saros was in fact fraudulent and used his ex- wife’s funds to continue gambling. Thank you.” Harvey closed the argument, taking a seat besides Donna, who represented the client. Jessica looked to the opposing counsel as if to say ‘do you have anything?’. Louis had nothing. Not a sliver of hope. 

“Then it is decided, Mr. Saros will be charged with a misdemeanor and face a prison sentence of one year in county jail.”

With a crack of the gavel, the case was over, and applause rang through the office for Harvey and his team. I had a tiny smile on my face as I left the conference room to go back to the bullpen. There was an endless stack of reports to run, motions to file… it never ended when it came to Louis. And now that I was on the winning team I’m sure that-

“Claudia, where are you going?” Harvey called out. 

“Oh, I was just going back to my desk. Why, is there something that you need?” God I hope he didn’t need anything. I was sweating bullets by just standing next to him. 

“I just wanted to congratulate you on your first win,” he gave a small smirk. His brown eyes were sharp, but not as intense as they usually were. 

I flushed, “Well, it’s not really a real case.”

“No, it’s not. But seeing what you did today, how would you like one of your own?” He extended a blue file back to me, a stack of papers covered inside. I could feel the gaze of the other associates on me as I hesitantly took the file. 

“Mr. Spector, I’m honored, but I’m not-”

“Yes you are,” he cut me off. I bit my tongue. “You are a lawyer, Claudia. And you clearly have an outside the box approach to your tactics which we don’t see very often. I haven’t seen someone able to compile and order evidence like you since Mike came to work for me a decade ago. I’ll be supervising your case, you report to me with any questions you might have, but otherwise this is all you.”

My first case… given to me by Harvey Specter himself.

“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered. I flipped through the file, seeing that this wasn’t just some pro-bono case. This was against a big time client and the SEC. The SEC meant Sean Cayhill, who, from my understanding, was already on the rocks with this firm and has been for a very long time. 

“You can thank me when you win it,” he extended his hand, and I shook it, hoping that they weren’t sweaty. “Look over the file tonight and come ready to swing tomorrow morning.”

Harvey’s hand was warm, and significantly larger than mine. Everything about him was bigger than I was, especially his ego. And his personality. Lord help me…

My nod was the only confirmation that I would meet him there. As he walked out, I met some of the eyes of the associates and they scowled at me. At the file in my hand. At the fact that I hadn’t said a word the whole meeting today and then came up with the winning piece of evidence. And now I was working alongside Harvey. 

The infamous closer at Pearson-Specter-Litt. 

____

“Claudia, what’s wrong?” Donna startled me so bad I dropped my coffee on the floor with a shout. “Something’s really wrong.”

“Oh, it’s just you Donna,” I sighed in relief. I could feel the coffee seeping into my shirt and chilling against my skin. “Great.”

“What has you so skittish?” She asked, worry gracing her features. 

I didn’t want to admit that it was because of Harvey and the fact that I had to work alongside him on this case. I hadn’t been able to sleep much last night because I was up thinking about him, wondering how he’d handle this case himself. What he would do, how he would do it. Sure, I admired the guy, how could I not? He was a perfectionist and always found a way. I wish I had half the confidence he did. 

“It’s Harvey, isn’t it?”

“How did you know that? Nevermind, you’re Donna. But… Yes it’s because of Harvey.”

“Did he say something to you yesterday after you guys won the mock trial? I saw he handed you a case file, what was it all about?” “That's precisely what’s wrong,” I groaned, bending over and picking up the dropped paper cup. “He gave me a case of my own as a 'thank you' for finding the evidence that won the trial yesterday. I’m terrified of him, Donna. I-I don’t know how to act around someone with that kind of personality. He is so abrasive and forward and harsh and-”

“A total jackass?” She finished for me. 

I chuckled nervously, “I’m afraid to even think of that word in association with his name. I mean, how am I supposed to work alongside someone that intense? Plus, I’m a first year associate, how am I supposed to compete with what he as to offer and-”

“Hey, it’s okay. No need to get yourself all worked up, Claudia. Harvey is a lot of bark, and only some bite.” “That doesn’t make me feel better.”

“What I’m trying to say is that there is some heart inside that cold dead chest of his,” she smiled, a genuine, friendly smile. “For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen him give someone a case after a mock trial. Not even Mike. Up until yesterday I’m not even sure he knew you existed.” “Wish it was still that way,” I rolled my eyes, folding my arms against my chest.

“Claudia, listen to me. Yes, Harvey can be rude and obnoxious, but he is the best damn attorney in the state of New York. He didn’t get to the top by being nice and sweet. He was impressed with your willingness to bring him the evidence yourself. Now he knows he can count on you to get things done in a pinch when he needs them.” “I had that evidence for an hour,” I emphasized. “I was trying to build up the courage to give it to him long before he came and ripped us to shreds for not having anything. I just didn’t want him to think that it was a stupid idea or to be in a bad mood and turn me away because I definitely wouldn’t have done it at all after that. I don’t know how to deal with someone like him, Donna. What am I supposed to do? I should just give the case to Griffin or Thomas-”

“No no no. You are definitely not going to do that. That will only show Harvey that you aren’t serious about becoming a lawyer.”

“I am serious about becoming a lawyer.” I was mildly offended that she’d even say that to me. “Of course I want to be a lawyer, it's all I’ve ever wanted.”

“And Harvey will only know that if you work on this case with him.”

I inhaled and exhaled, leaning my head back and looking at the ceiling. “Fine.” “That’s my girl,” she grinned. “Now, come on. I have an extra dress you can borrow because I am sure as hell not letting you walk around covered in coffee stains.”

“I appreciate it, but I don’t think what you have will fit me.” Donna jerked her head over her shoulder and I followed to a closet in the back of the file room. When she opened it, it was like a full blown wardrobe. There were dresses and shoes and purses and hair supplies lining the walls. “Woah…” “Don’t ever underestimate the power of Donna,” she winked before rummaging through the office closet. 

After searching for a few moments, she pulled out a lovely royal blue dress that was, as she hinted at, a perfect size for me. How she knew that it would fit, I’ll never know. But I did know that I wouldn’t ever underestimate the power of Donna ever again. She’s magical. 

“Now, what do you say?”

“Thanks, Donna,” I smiled sweetly. 

“Actually I was looking for ‘you are an ethereal goddess who makes all my dreams and wishes come true’ but that works too,” I knew she was teasing, and I gave her a small shove of her shoulder. “Go get dressed, come back here and let me do your hair.”

“What’s wrong with the way it is?” I turned to look in the mirror on the back of the door and grimaced. “Oh…” My messy curls from yesterday looked more like a rat wrapped around a bunch of fishing line.

“Hurry up, Harvey will be back soon and I want you in that office, file in hand, ready to go when he gets here.”

I quickly shuffled to the bathroom and changed into the form fitting, very Donna-style dress. It didn’t look half bad, and I actually somewhat tolerated the dress. Normally I’d find a pants suit far more flattering and business appropriate than a dress, strictly because of the over sexualized nature of women's business clothing. 

I hate the corporate world. 

I did one more glance in the mirror before heading back to the break room to grab the file. I must’ve set it on the counter while I was pouring my coffee. Hopefully it wasn’t ruined. 

There was no blue file on the counter. Or the table. Or on top of the microwave or the fridge. I even checked inside the microwave. Nothing. It was nowhere. Oh shit.

“Do you want curls or for me to straighten-” “It’s gone,” there was a clear panic in my voice. “The file, it’s not in the break room, Donna. It’s gone.”

“How can it be gone?” 

“I-I don’t- I don’t know I thought I set it on the counter while I was getting coffee and it’s not there.” I felt a cold sweat break out onto my skin. My forehead was damp to the touch. 

“Okay, take a deep breath. Let’s go look again and then check your desk. Maybe someone found it and put it there, or maybe left it with me or Gretchen. It didn’t grow a pair of legs and walk away, we’ll find it.”

“I’m gonna get fired,” my voice was almost a silent whisper, tears building behind my eyes, prickling my nose. “Donna, Harvey is going to kill me.”

“Worst comes to worst we get a new file, Harvey will never know.”

“No no no he will because he had notes of his own on the papers in there.” “Shit,” she swore. “Let’s just go look.”

We speed walked through the bullpen, earning some odd looks as we practically sprinted through the office. She checked the break room for me again, and I went to my cubicle. Nothing, not a blue folder anywhere to be seen. 

Donna came up empty handed in the break room, checking with Gretchen on her way by Louis’s office. We met at her desk. Nothing. 

“Fuck fuck fuck this is bad.” My hands were shaking, heart thundering against my ribs. I felt faint, like I could’ve fallen to the floor at any moment. “Donna, what am I gonna do?”

“Maybe somebody mistook it as their own file,” Donna blurted out after a moment of silence. She took off towards the bullpen and I followed after her, right on her heels. She marched through there, unapologetic as she invaded the other associates' work spaces. 

Still nothing. No blue file labeled ‘Devlyn Inc. Vs. Fulton Dynamics’. 

“Where the hell could it be?” She murmured to herself. 

“What are you guys looking for?” An associate, Benson, asked. 

“Oh, you know, a leprechaun pissing pieces of gold,” Donna’s voice was full of sarcasm. “Claudia set down a file in the break room for three minutes and forty-two seconds and now it’s mysteriously disappeared. Know anything about it?”

“No,” he pressed his lips together. “Not really.” “Not really?”

“There are a million case files floating around this office, you really expect me to pay attention to every single one and where it’s going?” “As an associate of this firm, yes, actually. I do. Now I want to know if you know who took her file and I want to know right now. You have one chance to tell the truth, otherwise the bottom of my stiletto and your ass are gonna be great friends.”

Benson swallowed, “I truly don’t know. I’m sorry, I can keep an eye out for it. Is it the one Harvey gave Claudia yesterday?”

“Yes, and he needs it in twenty minutes,” Donna said, an undeniable urgency in her voice. “If you find it, do the right thing and give it back or so help me god you will find yourself jobless faster than you can get down on your knees and beg me to let you keep it.”

Donna beckoned me for her to follow and I did, my heart sinking and sinking into my stomach. It had to be around here somewhere. It had to be. 

I did another lap around, rummaging through all the drawers in the desk and thensome. Still nowhere. How could I be so stupid? So irresponsible? This is exactly why I didn’t want to take this case in the first place.

Despite all Harvey and Donna said the other day, I’m not ready to be a lawyer. Not really, anyway. I know I have my license and I’ve passed the Bar. I’ve done all the hard work, but this was… this was hell. A living nightmare. Not only was this firm constantly on the verge of collapsing, but it seemed like I made new enemies every other week by simply doing my job quickly, quietly, and efficiently. 

I don’t know how or why I piss everyone off all the time. I just do my work, I quite literally don’t bother another soul in this building unless I have to. Occasionally I’d ask Donna a question that she could ask Harvey or Mike to see what they thought about it. I’d never speak to them directly, just through her which didn’t make me feel good, either. 

I’d eat by myself, working through my meal. It took me two months of being here to finally use the break room because I was too nervous about taking the last tea bag or power bar from the cabinet. I just took a disposable coffee cup and filled it with tap water. And then kept that cup because I didn’t want to take the others because I figured other people needed them for coffee and I didn’t want them to be all gone-

“Claudia,” Donna interrupted my mild panic. “Harvey wants to see you.”

Oh no… no no no not yet god please not yet. I swallowed, or tried to at least; there was no moisture in my mouth whatsoever. I stood, knees trembling as I smoothed out the skirt of my dress.

Before I went on, she ran a brush through my hair, taking out the knots. It lay sleek and flat against my shoulders, a major difference from the low bun I always kept it in. My hair always made me so hot; I never understood how anyone could get anything done with it swaying in their face all day.

I could see him in his office, eyes staring us down as we rounded the corner. His gaze was locked on me and I felt my body tighten and constrict around a breath. Harvey was sitting on the corner of his desk, fingers toying with the cufflink on his left wrist.. 

“Hey, look at me,” Donna spoke softly, hands coming to my shoulders. “Give Harvey the truth, and nothing but. He will understand, if not, I will make him.”

I nodded.

When I pushed open his glass door, tension was thick in the air. My palms were clammy, still shaking. My mind was going a million miles a second. 

“What can I do for you, Mr. Specter?” I asked, trying to keep my cool despite almost throwing up. 

“Please tell me you have some good news about the case that I gave you,” he sighed, pushing off the desk and standing in front of me. 

Welp… here goes my career. 

“Actually, Mr. Specter there is something I need to-”

“You were looking for me, Harvey?” I whipped my head over my shoulder, seeing Griffin knocking on the door. 

“Yes, Griffin come on please, shut the door as well.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I can come back and we can discuss the details of-”

“No, Claudia. Stay for a moment,” Harvey gave a firm nod, full attention slipping from me to my fellow associate. “Griffin, I see you have something for me.”

“Yes,” Griffin threw a wicked grin at me before handing over a blue file. I could feel the sick rise in my throat. That was my blue file. “I would just like to go over the details of my case with you to get your input.”

“Your case?” Harvey questioned, sharing a glance between me and Griffin. “Where did you get this? Who the hell gave you a case?”

“That’s not important. I was hoping we could actually-”

“No,” Harvey cut him off. “It’s very important, actually. Because I can recall that just last night this exact file, with my handwriting, was in Claudia’s hands. So whatever act you’re putting on, I suggest you cut the bullshit right now.” “Okay I found it in the breakroom,” Griffin rolled his eyes. “Maybe if she were a little more responsible, which she clearly isn’t because she left her documents in a public space, then she’d be more equipped to handle a real case. Like a real lawyer should.”

I could see the muscle in Harvey’s jaw clench and contract several times. 

“Claudia, care to explain how our case got in this thief’s hands?” “Thief?” “I had spilled coffee,” I started, taking a deep breath when Griffin cut me a gaze so threatening I almost crumbled to my knees. “I spilled coffee and Donna offered a change of clothes for me. I didn’t even notice I left it. When I came back it was gone.”

“Well, I think that about settles it. How about you get out of here before you cause yourself a real problem. And If I ever catch wind of you stealing another one of Claudia’s files, or anyones for that matter, I will personally make your life a living hell. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” he ground his teeth, refusing to look at either of us. 

“Now get your ass back to your desk and pray to whoever you believe in that I don’t have you fired and disbarred for the shit you pulled today. Get the hell out of my sight.”

Griffin was out of there far faster than he walked in, head down, hands shoved in his pockets. I let out a shaky breath. 

“Are you okay?” Harvey asked me. “I’m so sorry,” I completely ignored his question. “Griffin was right, I was extremely irresponsible and shouldn’t have let that file out of my sight. If you want to give it to another associate I completely understand. Again, I am so sorry and understand that there are consequences to my actions for letting such important information go missing-”

“Claudia, slow down,” he eased. “It’s okay, you are not the one I am pissed at.”

“You’re not?” I didn’t understand why. “But- but I completely misplaced a case.”

“No,” Harvey shook his head. “No Griffin is the only one to blame. You spilled coffee, went to go get cleaned up, and he stole it. He should know better. And seeing that he clearly doesn’t, I know I’m right in my decision on who to bring onto this case with me.”

I could feel my blush creep up my neck. “I appreciate that, Mr. Specter.”

“Of course, Claudia. And please, call me Harvey.”

I just gave a subtle nod, taking the file from his hand. I followed his gaze from my face to my hair where he took a strand between his fingers, letting the end curl around his digit.

“I’ve never seen your hair so long,” He added, dropping it from his grip. My breath was caught in my throat. Words were vacant shadows in my mind as he surveyed the dress I was wearing. “I bet that’s Donna’s, isn’t it.”

I had to clear my throat before I could speak. “She wouldn’t let me walk around with coffee stains all day.”

“It looks good on you,” He complimented. Harvey’s eyes, again, went from my head to my toes. There was nothing I could do but fall victim to his… I didn’t know what to think of how he looked at me. Couldn’t decide if it was good or bad. 

“Time for the case then?” I needed to get his attention off of me. Now. I was flushed and losing my mind. Harvey didn’t really seem to acknowledge my words at all. 

“Sure.” Was all he gave me.

____

I barely escaped with the skin on my teeth after our consultation. No, he didn’t rip me to shreds, but he would not take his eyes off of me for even one second. It was so… so potent I couldn’t focus. It was almost lunch when Donna came in and saved my ass. 

I couldn’t have gotten out of there fast enough.

“So, how did it go?” Donna asked as I sat in my cubicle. When she came around, or maybe she just followed me, I didn’t know. 

I put my face in my hands. “It was a disaster, Donna. I was a stuttering mess and I kept forgetting everything I was going to say because he would not stop staring at me. Like, he would not stop.” “Well, you aren’t exactly ugly, Claudia,” she snickered. 

“Donna, this isn’t funny,” I groaned. “I’m being completely frank with you.”

“How can I be expected to work alongside him when I can’t stand being in an enclosed space with him for more than four minutes without turning into a bumbling idiot? It’s like he enjoys watching me get flustered.”

“Claudia, I think you are making this a bigger deal in your head than it actually is.” Donna came around and sat on my desk, crossing a knee over the other. “And besides, Harvey understands what it’s like to be a new associate. It can be nerve wracking, especially when you have Louis breathing down your neck.”

I chuckled gravely, “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“You’ll figure it out.” “Why can’t you just tell me?” I whined as she stood up. 

“Because I am the Yoda to your Luke Skywalker. Wise you are, patience you must have, my young Padawan.”

“I am not a Jedi who is going on a self discovery journey to start using the Force,” I countered. “I am a nervous wreck who can’t handle being alone with Harvey Specter.”

“Then you need to get over it because Harvey is not going to berate you on your first case!” She argued.

“Did you not hear what he said to Griffin? Or-or to Thomas when he suggested that we consider taking the deal that Mr. Saros had offered during the mock trial? He cracked them wide open and left them to bleed. What about with Mike? How many times has he almost sent him to the curb for not being able to find what Harvey needs?”

“Mike is different and you know it,” Donna lowered her voice. “Plus he always says shit like that to light a fire under his ass. Harvey can see that you are nervous to work with him. He isn’t going to hang you out to dry, I promise. He stood up for you, Claudia, in a way I’ve only seen him do with me and Mike. You know how much he cares about us.”

“Well, yeah of course. But you’ve worked for him for fifteen years and Mike almost seven now. You have a relationship with him and established trust. How am I supposed to have that with him when I can’t even look him in the eye?” “It comes with time, Claudia,” she rubbed my shoulder. “But if there is anything I can say to get you to trust the process, Harvey is loyal, almost to a fault sometimes. He will stop at nothing to make sure the people he cares about are taken care of. I can see that he wants that for you because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have given a shit if Griffin stole the file or not.”

Donna walked away after smoothing down some of the hair on my head, disappearing behind the corner. I let out a huff. She was right, I was being a little over dramatic.

Harvey had a reputation, though. How was I supposed to know if- no. This is unrelated to anything going on. Sort of. I just need to focus on the case. 

I pulled out the files and looked over them again, compiling all the notes into one space for easy recall. As I was looking through it, I found a loophole in one of the contracts that unbound our client from having to give up half of her company.

____

I paced up and down Harvey’s office, tapping my file in my hand as I went through all my key points in my head for today’s trial. I needed to lure, or bait rather, the witnesses into my questions to get them to admit to trespassing on our clients property. We had everything we needed; security footage, witnesses to testify on our behalf… Everything was all lined up. I just needed to blow it. 

I could do this, right? I had only spent all night doing a fake run of how today would go in my mirror, but then again anything could happen when I got into that courtroom today. Maybe they had another leg on us, maybe there was another witness they had to testify against us.

God dammit, if I screwed up today I wouldn’t get another case. Probably not ever again unless I packed up all my shit and moved to Iowa. 

Having Harvey there didn’t make me feel better. I thought it would, but as we worked together I realized he only made me more nervous. I couldn’t help it, he just looked at me this way I couldn't describe. It was incredibly annoying, I don’t know how Mike does it. Or Donna. Or Jessica or Louis or-

Jesus focus, Claudia. I rubbed my eyes with my thumbs. Just focus focus focus. I’ve been over it a million times. I could do this. I didn’t have a choice, court was in less than half an hour. 

“Claudia,” Harvey ripped me from my concentration, making me jump. “Sorry to startle you. Are you ready for today?” “Not really,” I admitted. “I am kind of freaking out, to be honest.”

“It’s okay,” he eased me to sit next to him. “What are you so nervous for?”

I chuckled, “Everything.” “Okay,” he gave a half-hearted laugh. “What specifically? Just name one thing that you are worried about.”

“I don’t know- forgetting cross examination questions? Screwing up the order so it doesn’t lead him into our trap? A billion things could go wrong and I’m not sure what to do if I freeze or stutter. What if the jury or the opposing counsel laughs at me?”

“That is not gonna happen, Claudia,” Harvey reassured. “You have prepared some amazing questions, you’ve got this in the bag.” “You know, I much prefer to stay in the background and do research. I don’t think I’m cut out to handle court stuff this is-”

“Hey,” he said so softly I almost didn’t hear him. He grabbed my trembling hand and held it between his own. My body went completely rigid, chest puffing in and out with heavy breaths. “You are going to do great today, I know it, Claudia. You are prepared, capable, and even more prepared. This is always what you’ve wanted to do, isn’t it?” I just nodded. Over the past week and a half of working together, I had told him what made me want to be a lawyer in the first place. About how I saw my best friends’ parents' business completely ruined by a group of robbers and their insurance did nothing to help them.

It made me so sad for them, made me feel so sick that I knew I had to do something to help them. I did my research and then brought it to them. They brought it to their lawyer and ended up getting a settlement for far more than they were ever gonna get. All because of me and my discovery that I made on my computer when I was thirteen.

“Okay. Think back to teenage Claudia for a moment. I bet she dreamed of being in this exact position. Where she can help people and give the sorry bastards who put them there a taste of their own medicine. Well, Claudia, here you are. Your very first case. Your very first helping hand. Your very first entrance into the world of the law. And you are going to absolutely shake up those witnesses, blindside them so hard they won’t have a choice but to tell the truth. This is your moment, Claudia’s moment. Don’t let fear take it from you, okay?” Again, all I could do was nod. And think about how warm his hand was in mine. We stood and he let go, leading me out of the office and down to his car waiting for him in front of the building. Ray, his driver, greeted me sweetly as I settled into the back seat with Harvey.

I flipped through my cards over and over and over on our way to the court house. Harvey snatched them from me. “Hey!” “You know the material,” he gave me a pointed look, sliding them in the breast pocket of his jacket. 

“I know but-” “There is no but,” he shrugged. “Have just one ounce of confidence, Claudia. Trust yourself.”

All of whatever I had been reading was swept from my mind as he placed his palm on my knee. I hadn’t realized it was bouncing up and down until he pressed against it to stop its movements. I tried to sit still, but I just started picking at my nails instead. 

“Claudia,” he said in a stern, commanding voice. I stopped my fidgeting, laying my hands flat in my lap. “Good, just relax. Everything will be alright.”

Highly doubtful. He was playing a dangerous game, and we both knew it. But neither of us said anything as he left his hand there the entire car ride. 

____

“After the conclusion of today’s trial, the jury here finds Fulton Dynamic guilty of trespassing and breaking and entering with intent to steal inside information.”

I felt the tension deflate from my body, eyes fluttering shut as the judges whacked the wooden disk on his stand. He said something, but I couldn’t even hear over the roar in my ear. Holy shit we won…

“Claudia,” Harvey shook my shoulder. I snapped my eyes to him. “Come on, let's get out of here.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice. 

I rested my head back against the seat, eyes focused on the window outside so I wouldn’t throw up. Man did I hate getting car sick every time I looked at my phone when in a car. The city lights were bright and fierce, unrelenting all hours of the day. Why on god's green earth did I decide to move to New York? Out of all the places I could’ve gone to work as an associate in this state, why did I choose the city? I hate the city. I’ve always hated the-

“Yoo-hoo,” I heard from my side. I lifted my exhausted head and gave Harvey a look. “Did you hear anything I said?”

‘Oh… n-no I’m sorry,” I stiffened, giving him my full attention. “What were you talking about?”

“I was just saying that you did a great job today, Claudia. You kicked ass in there,” he smiled.

“Thanks, Mr. Specter.” I just let out a sigh.

“You don’t think so?”

“Not really.” Anxiety swirled in my chest. Tears pricked my eyes and nose. 

“Why not? Claudia, you gave one of the best cross examinations I think I’ve ever seen. And the way you handled Cayhill? Defended Devlyn from those accusations? It was masterful.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

Silence hung between us. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “You did great today.”

“I was a complete idiot when I was defending Devlyn. I was way too animated and let my emotions get the best of me. For Christ's sake Judge Peterson gave me a warning.”

“I want you to take a guess at how many warnings judges give me when I’m the one in there leading the case.”

“You’re Harvey Specter, of course you… get a lot.”

“You right, I do get a lot. But that isn’t a bad thing. And I’ve been doing this a hell of a lot longer than you-” “That’s the problem,” I snapped. “You have been doing this for seventeen years and I’ve been doing it for ten days. I’ve barely got my toe in the water and I’ve already shown other lawyers and firms that I can’t keep my cool.”

“Claudia, you are passionate. I don’t see that as a huge problem in the courtroom. There needs to be a level of pushback from attorneys because if you, of all people on someone’s legal team, aren’t going to fight back, then you might as well be fired. Because you are the only person some people have hope for. You have to be aggressive and assertive sometimes to get the job done.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“I am going to teach you,” Harvey’s words completely short circuited my brain. 

“What do you mean?”

“Claudia, I think you’re going to be a great lawyer, even without my help. I know you struggle with confidence and that is all I want to help you with. To get some leverage over these other associates so you can climb that ladder.”

“I can’t just magically pull a wagon load of confidence out of my ass overnight,” I shook my head, folding my hands tightly together. “I don’t see how you can help me.”

The car pulled up outside the building and Harvey let out a sigh. Great. Now I’ve pissed him off, too. That’s exactly what I needed to do was piss off Harvey Specter after a great win. In all honesty, it had been a good day. I didn’t fumble the ball like I was going to, but this was completely taking away from them.

My door opened. Harvey looked down at me from outside and extended his hand. When did he get out of the car? I hesitantly took it, getting out and shutting the door behind me.

“Claudia,” Harvey started. “You need to learn to let go. To put the bad moments behind you.” “I can’t.” “Which is why you and I are going to go back up there and have a drink. Get to know each other a little bit so we can start building that trust. I know I intimidate you, and I try like hell to be as calm as I can around you, but one day Louis or Jessica or Donna is going to come into my office and give me some bad news. You might be there and see how I handle it. You might not, but I don’t want you to be afraid of that happening to you.”

“And how can I be sure that if I come up with a plan one day, and it falls through and goes to shit, you won’t flip out on me or fire me or-or-”

“Because I won’t. I give you my word. But I need yours as well.”

“Need my word, why?” “I need to know that you won’t think I’m a monster if you’re in the room and I lose my cool.”

I’ve never thought Harvey was a monster to begin with. I’ve always admired his ability to shut off his feelings and get the dirty work done. Of course I’ve seen that side of him a time or two, but never catastrophic like some of the stories I’ve heard from the third and fourth years.

“You have my word.”

The elevator chime brought me out of my spiraling momentarily to walk to Harvey’s office. The firm was empty, not even Jessica was here. He led me to his office and got to work on the drinks. My eyes wandered from him to the view through the window. This was the only part of the city I might’ve let myself enjoy from time to time. 

“Donna was right, you do have a lot of music,” I noted, taking in the wall filled with vinyl records. She mentioned it when I was caught with my head buried in a book in the library, some random Beatles song blasting so loud she could hear it down the hall. 

“You’re just now noticing that?” “Well, I haven’t exactly been in your office for anything other than to work on this case so… no I guess I never really noticed.”

“You can pick something to listen to, if you’d like.” He was gonna let me touch his records? This place was like a museum; autographed basketballs and baseballs, art hanging on the wall. “Or you can just stare at it.”

I flushed, picking up a record at random and handing it to him. In exchange, he handed me a glass a third full of whisky. I smelled it, it kind of made me scrunch my nose. I didn’t drink often; most of the time I was too tired to even feed myself let alone consume alcohol.

When I took a sip, I actually didn’t mind the taste. It was smooth, simple in flavor and didn’t burn too bad. Quite nice, for all it’s worth. 

There was a couch along the wall of records that I fixed myself on, Harvey taking the time to remove his tie and lay it across his desk before sitting across from me on one of the chairs. I toed off my pumps and set them on the floor beside the table. God damn did my feet hurt. 

“Do you do this with all the new associates?”

“What do you mean?” He asked, taking a seat in one of the chairs while I took up the couch. 

“I mean, when you think they’re ready, do you give them a case and help them get their foot in the door?”

“No, no I don’t,” Harvey admitted. “Louis is in charge of the associates. You know that.”

“Yes,” I nodded. “But I just thought that there was some deal between you guys: you have a mock trial with the new associates, whichever team wins gets to give a case to the best performing associate.”

Harvey laughed. I didn’t even know he knew how to do that. “Oh, Claudia, you really are that innocent, aren’t you?” My throat collapsed on itself. What did I say?

“Relax,” he set his glass down, swallowing his sip. “Yes, we do a fake trial every year for the first years, but we don’t just give them cases when they win. No one in their right mind would give a first year associate, fresh out of law school, the time of day. Normally they have to prove themself down the line, after years and years of loyalty to this firm to get their first case. And it’s usually pretty easy pro-bono shit.” I had to stop and think for a moment before I could speak. “You keep saying normally, usually… What are you saying?”

“What I’m saying, Claudia, is that in my decade plus of working here, I’ve never seen an associate who busts their ass quite like you. Who takes every ounce of bullshit from Louis and turns it into the Mona Lisa.”

“I think that everyone does tha-”

“No,” he cut me off. A stern look in his eyes, lips in that crooked line. “No they don’t. Not like you. You put your head down, get into it, and don't come up until you’ve found what you were looking for and thensome. You go above and beyond every time. You don’t go to Louis begging for more work, he brings it to you, and only you, because he knows he can count on you. Which means I know I can count on you, too.”

I honestly didn’t know what to say. I kind of just wanted the ground to swallow me whole. To make me evaporate and never see the light of day again. 

“Thank you, Mr. Specter. But I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not but I am not very good in the spotlight. I don’t do well with… all of this.”

“I know, but I’m glad that you are trying anyway,” his smile was very charming. In a way that made his eyes crinkle. “So, besides giving a hell of a cross examination, what else do you like to do for ‘fun’?” 

“Well, for starters, your definition of fun, and mine, are going to be very different. I am a very solitary person, I don’t need to be around people to have a good time. Most of the time I prefer to go do things by myself because I find when I ask, people already have plans, or they’re faking having plans so they don’t have to hang out with me. I can’t tell what is the truth and what isn’t so I stopped asking… that was totally not what you asked. Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble.”

“Go ahead, talk about whatever you want. I won’t judge you.”

A small part of me believed that he wouldn’t. A tiny, microscopic part. 

“There is nothing like the feeling of getting lost in a good book. I’m a complete sucker for a cliche rom-com where the bad guy gets the good girl.”

Harvey let out a dramatic puff of air, laughing into the space around us. 

“You said you wouldn’t judge!” I chuckled. 

“I’m not, it’s just lame. Come on, what do you really like to do for fun?”

“That is what I really like to do for fun,” I let my hand fall to the cushion beside me. “I told you, I am not a very interesting person. I don’t have time for a whole lot of anything other than working here so… Most of my hobbies have been put on the back burner through grad school and working nonstop.”

“If you could be any type of sea creature, what would you be?” 

“What does that literally have anything to do with anything we were just talking about?”

“It doesn’t,” Harvey smiled. “I’m just curious.”

“I don’t know, a jellyfish?”

“Really?” He questioned, one brow rising higher than the other. “I’d be a great white shark.”

“Of course you would,” I snickered. “Harvey Specter, the Great White of New York. If you wanted to be a real predator that no one fucks with, you should be an Orca.” “A whale?” “The killer whale,” I corrected. “They put sharks in the obituary for fun, you know. They sink yachts for fun, too. If you really want to be on top, be an Orca. No one in their right minds fucks with an Orca. They’re intelligent and not afraid of anything.”

“Aww, you think I’m intelligent and not afraid of anything?” Harvey mewled. 

“Well, duh you’re Harvey Specter.” Everyone knew it. Harvey was the baddest cat in the sky, you didn’t approach him without giving him your respect. Cause if you didn’t, a whole boat load of shit will be coming your way. 

Harvey rolled his eyes. “Well, I hate to break it to you, but there is more to Harvey Specter than the title my name comes with.”

“Of course,” I agreed. “Harvey Specter, badass attorney and the best closer New York has ever seen, killer whale of the corporate world.” Harvey couldn’t keep his laugh inside, sending the rumbling noise into the office. I made Harvey laugh, and I have for the past however many minutes. 

“You left out the part where I’m devastatingly attractive and charming,” his smirk was nothing short of either of those things. Devastating and charming. It cut through me like a hot knife. I knew I blushed because his eyes went to my cheeks and that spot at the base of my throat that always gives it away. 

My fingers tapped away anxiously at the glass in my hands, fingernails rattling against its crystal surface. 

“It’s late I should… I should go.” Great, now I’m flustered and stuttering. As quickly as I could, I threw my heels back on and reached for my coat. 

“Claudia-”

“Thank you for the drink, and for all your help on the case,” I hurried out, trying to not let my voice break and give away all the things I wanted to say. “Have a good night, Mr. Specter.”

“Claudia.” His voice commanded, stopping my movements. I held still on the couch, drinking in his stare. “Stay.”

“Mr. Specter I really should-”

“Harvey,” he bit out a little harshly. “Stop calling me Mr. Specter.”

“I’m sorry. Harvey, it’s late.” He just nodded, taking a sip from his glass. “And?”

“It’s been a long day and I think we should both go and get some much deserved rest,” I spoke quietly, resuming my nail picking from earlier. 

“Do you really want to leave?” 

It was such a loaded question. Yes, absolutely I wanted to fucking leave. But there was something deep in his eyes, deep in his voice that made me want to stay and explore. My heart was hammering in my chest. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him, no matter how much I wanted to look away. It was impossible. 

“I don’t think you do,” he answered for me. “I told you I was going to help build your confidence.”

You never told me how, jackass, I thought. I swallowed, nothing going down, but I did it anyway. Harvey threw back what was left of his whisky and sat back, knees far apart, fingers drawing patterns on the arm rests of the chair. 

“Come here, Claudia.” What? “You heard me.”

Shit, I must’ve said it out loud. If I thought my heart was racing before, it sure as hell was halfway around the world now. Legs trembling, I rose. Why the fuck did I stand up? It wasn’t too late to make a beeline for the door and pray he didn’t catch up. Then again, it wasn’t like I could escape him, we worked in the same fucking building. On the same floor. 

When I came to a halt, a few feet in front of him, he held out his hand, palm up. As I put my fingers in his grasp, there was nothing I could do. Harvey yanked me to him, other hand catching my hip as I collapsed into him with a yelp. 

“Straddle my thigh,” he ordered. Something about the way his voice went down my spine made me obey. With extreme hesitance, I moved one leg on each side of his, lowering myself. I didn’t dare put all of my weight down. And he knew it because his hands came up to my hips and forced me all the way. 

“Sir, what are you-”

“Do not call me Sir unless you are ready to deal with those consequences.” His fingers dug into the exposed skin on my thigh, eyes full of his pupils. 

“Harvey, what are you doing? We shouldn’t be doing… whatever this is,” I tried to defuse the situation as best I could, but there was such a seriousness written in his features I wasn’t sure I could sway him. Maybe I didn’t want to, either. 

“How does it feel?” He asked.

I blinked, “H-How does what feel, Harvey?”

He smiled at the use of his name on my tongue. I hadn’t really ever called him by his first name.

“To have one of the most powerful men in the city underneath you, bent to your will?”

When I did look away from his face, to where I was seated on his lap, I felt my stomach start to twist and mold into something new. I did have Harvey Specter underneath me. Granted, at his own command, but still…

“And before you even think about it, no. I don’t do this with all the other associates.”

“Then why me?” My voice was a barely there whisper, gaze averted from his until his thumb caught my chin and made me look into his eyes. 

“Because I see something else in you that I don’t think anyone realizes. And I know the world will never see it unless you start believing in yourself and take control of the cards you’ve been dealt.”

I took a moment to steady my breath, and my uncontrollable thoughts. “And you think that whatever this is… you think this is going to help with that?”

Harvey shrugged, “I am in no way forcing you to be here, am I?”

My blush came creeping back. Of course he wasn’t forcing me to be here. I shook my head, my face just inches from his. I felt oddly relaxed under his touch.

“And I am not stopping you from getting up and leaving right now. It’s your choice, Claudia, but I think you want to be here, on my lap. Because if you didn’t, you would’ve already left.”

God dammit I hated this cocky son of a bitch. Was he right? Yes. Of fucking course he was. But the way his mouth curled up was dangerous. This was dangerous, and utterly a horrible idea. Was I really about to sit here, on one of my bosses thighs? He did look pretty good under me, shirt unbuttoned the top three, cologne wafting into the air every time he moved his head. 

Harvey’s hands came back to my hips as he leaned up.

“So, are you going to get up and leave? Or, are you going to ride my thigh while I tell you how pretty you look?” His breath tickled my ear, his lips trailing the space just below. I couldn’t help the shudder that went through my whole body, and I knew Harvey felt it because he cooed.

As I adjusted myself, I couldn’t help the movement, his breath on my skin was making me flutter, Harvey moved my hips back and forth. I felt the air take from my throat. The material of his pants against my core wracked through me. So unexpectedly I found myself pressing closer to him so I wouldn’t fall off. 

“That’s it, Claudia…” His voice was sickly sweet with praise. Harvey moved to fiddle with the front of his pants, and when I went to look, he caught my chin. “Eyes up here, sweetheart.”

“Harvey this… this isn’t the best idea,” I kept trying to reason. Not necessarily with him, but with myself. Obviously he wanted it, so why was I trying to convince myself to go?

“So?”

“This could have some serious implications if we don’t-”

He laughed against my neck, placing a few kisses right over where I always blushed. “Claudia, Claudia, Claudia. This is exactly what I have been talking about. You are wound far too tightly with concern. You need to let go, need to be out of control with something in your life.”

“Let me guess, that something is going to be you?”

“Only if you want it to be,” he said. “Look Claudia, I know we don’t exactly always see eye to eye on things, and we sure as hell haven’t really worked together, but that doesn’t make me less sure about this. About you. If you are having doubts, and this isn’t what you want, then walk away and we never have to talk about it ever again. But I think there is a part of you that really likes seeing me under you. That likes knowing you can make me this way.”

“And what if I do?” Harvey was right. God dammit he was right and he knew it. I looked and saw just what I had been doing to him. 

“Then just let yourself enjoy it because I know I want to.”

Man, he was quite the smooth talker. My resolve crumbled and I gave in. No, I didn’t give in, I made the choice to let this happen. Harvey wanted this too, for some reason known only to the great mother and beyond. This was not going to end well, I don’t know why I thought so, but I just know this is going to cause a problem down the road. Maybe it’ll be a good one, maybe it won’t– Jesus I need to get out of my head before I start thinking into oblivion. 

Harvey rolled his eyes, hand cupping the side of my face before his lips met mine. The gasp I let out… I could feel his smile. He guided my hand into the front of his pants, but did nothing else. Just left it there. 

When I tried to pull away, he bit my lip and pulled me right back in. Finger pressing into the front of my throat. In a commanding, possessive way that made my stomach burn with desire. 

I slowly traced around the outline of him. My fingers were trembling so fiercely that I wasn’t sure they were moving at all. As best I could control them, I made my way up to the waistband of his briefs, just… testing the waters. 

“You’re so close to where I need you,” Harvey purred, eyes looking at my surly swollen lips. “Go on, sweetheart, don’t be shy.”

I guess there really was no turning back. As my hand ventured further, I ducked down and swept my tongue into his mouth. He approved very enthusiastically. Harvey continued to guide my hips back and forth and back and forth across his thigh. All too gently, all too slowly. One of his hands kept working my hip, the other camp up around my throat.

How could he know that was one of my weakest sides? It didn’t prevent any air, but it was a firm reminder. 

His breath broke our searing lips when I moved my thumb over the tip of his cock. Harvey’s grip tightened on my throat and a noise slipped through my mouth. There was little I could do to keep my eyes from lulling back, head going with it. He made an effort to weave his fingers between my locks and pulled. A lot harder than I think he actually meant to. 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured against my ear, sending goosebumps down my neck and arms. “I can’t help myself when you make such pretty noises. I’ll be gentle.”

I huffed out a laugh, as best I could with the straight against my neck. “I don’t mind.”

“Those are dangerous words, Claudia,” he warned, bringing my head back up. His eyes were dark in a way I couldn’t process in that moment. His lips were red and his hair was a mess from my fingers. 

I tugged at him as emphasis for my earlier words. “I don’t mind you being rough with me.”

His eyes closed, and his jaw clenched. I continued my motions, slow and long, drawing divine noises from him. Even with his hands away from my hips, I still moved them, picking up pace with my hand. I took the liberty to occupy his mouth with my own, hopefully filling him with euphoria. It was fast, and quite messy. My hair was sticking to the back of my neck with sweat, and I could taste it on his skin when I couldn’t help but trail my tongue up his throat. 

Harvey murmured my name, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t now, not with the constant moans and praise from his tongue. ‘Just like that sweetheart’, ‘I know that pretty mouth of yours will feel so much better wrapped around my cock’, ‘Can’t wait to take you apart’.

With his release, warm and wet over the back of my hand, he stilled my hips. Fingers digging in. At some point my skirt rode up, or he tugged it over my ass, and his nails left long lines of scratches. I hissed, and Harvey was breathing deep.

Harvey’s grin was nothing short of animalistic as he looked at where my hand still connected us. “Look at that, sweetheart. Look how well you’ve done.”

I could do nothing to keep my blood from rushing to my face. When I moved my hand– not entirely sure if I should get up and clean it off– Harvey snatched my wrist. 

“Open.”

I was going to question him, but I watched his eyes flick over my surely swollen lips. I flushed deeper. And deeper again as he moved them into my mouth. Bitter, but not in a bad way. And If I had been thoroughly fucked, I’d undoubtably find it irresistible. 

“Good girl, Claudia.”

There would be no way to recover from hearing that. I shuddered, so hard I clamped his thigh between my own, and whimpered. Like I had never before. And his stare… the way his eyes watched my tongue circle over my fingers. As they watched me swallow him down. 

“I bet you didn’t even realize,” he tilted his head, tucking hair behind my ear, flopping it behind my shoulder. 

“Realize…what?”

“How you took control. How confident you were with your hand… with that wicked tongue of yours. It was like it was second nature for you, wasn’t it? I didn’t even have to tell you to keep moving your hips. You just did it.”

I didn’t even know I was doing most of it… It all just happened. At some point or another. 

“I wouldn’t say that I was confi-”

“Yes,” he interrupted. “You were. And that feeling, of being in control, is what you need to feel when you are in the courtroom. You were able to do it here, with me, to me. It was the most powerful and direct I’ve ever seen you.”

“Sex and being a lawyer aren’t exactly the same thing.”

“No, but you were able to feel safe and let yourself go. To release all that potential and work miracles.”

“You’d consider me giving you an orgasm a miracle?”

He chuckled, leaning so his lips brushed against mine. “Your hands do miraculous things to me, Claudia. I don’t normally give myself to someone the way I did with you. I didn’t have any second thoughts about it because I knew how willing you’d be to please me. And god damn do I love watching you pleasure yourself for me.”

In the minutes that followed, Harvey stood me up and straightened out my skirt. He did give me some hand sanitizer until I could go to the bathroom. I watched as he tucked in his shirt, buttoning his pants and rolling the sleeves back up his arms. 

“Harvey?”

“Yes, Claudia?” His voice was much more mellow. 

“How often is this… you know. Gonna happen?”

He smirked, “Why, already picturing yourself on your knees for me?”

I wasn’t, but I sure as hell was now. One thing that I needed to learn to do was control my facial reactions because judging by the way his stepped closer, he could see that I was, in fact, picturing his hand in my hair while he forced me to take it down my-

“Oh sweet sweet Claudia,” he chuckled, tilting up my chin. “You really are that eager to please me.”

“I was just wondering when you were going to return the favor.”

Harvey seized my throat, tighter than he had before. “Don’t you worry, sweetheart. I will have my name dripping from your tongue for so long you will forget it completely and beg for mercy. And when you beg for it, just know that you won’t get it until I say you do.”

[wonik1ss]

౨ৎ r.u.n. ! — illit

pairing — idol!illit x reader song rec : in my mind - lapid ( 0.8k ) warnings ! none ᯤ ^ ㅇ ^ happy reading ! ⸝⸝・ᘏᘏ

prompt : you thought being young and of color would bring you down out as the show went on it just help you make more friends

when the show started you were sure you would get evil edited. you weren’t any type of asian and so you stuck out like a sour thumb. so you thought your best hope was to just be the best all-rounder ever. that before you found out you were the youngest on the show. being fourteen.

after you danced to ‘im jelly baby’ by aoa cream the judges cooed. you titled you head and one of the laughed.

“ahh what’s wrong?”

“did I do bad..?”. you heard oohs and aahs.

“no no you just looked really cute”. you still looked worried prompting chanelle to translate to you. you nodded.

“I would hope I’m only fourteen”. you heard a loud gasp and when you turned to the judges there eyes were wide. as you went to sit down you were being pulled in all sorts of directions. you sat down next to chanelle and moka though since you were going to need the translating help. as you sat down moka pinched your cheek.

“your going to be what..? fifteen when you debut?”. you nodded as your legs rocked back and forth. in the episode subtitles immediately appeared.

look our little maknae in training ~

as people went on you yawned and slowly dozed of. ‘ahh look..!’ ‘so cute..!’. moka put her hand around your waist for the rest of the auditions and as you woke up towards the end suddenly the cameras were back on you.

good morning our little baby !

as you watched the first episode in your dorm you smiled. you felt eyes on you and looked up to see a blushing iroha.

“you’re a great singer !”

“I loved your dance”. iroha beamed at you as she sat next to you on your bed.

“us maknaes have to stick together”. you laughed as the girl shock your hand. that night you had your own little sleepover without the rest of the girls knowing.

“chanelle?”. chanelle brushing her teeth tilted her head at yunah.

“hmm?”

“do you know where iroha is..? she’s my dorm mate..”. the girl shock her head prompting yunah to run into each dorm asking for iroha.

“I- aww..”. as yunah walked into yours and youngseo’s dorm she saw youngseo shushing her and you two cuddled together on the queen bed. the next morning you got ready for your first perfomance. you fell into a group with wonhee and were scared you wouldn’t be able to connect with anyone because of the language barrier.

as practice went on you always felt wonhee’s eyes in you, as you all sat down she ran over to you.

“are you having fun”. you only nodded.

“do you think you need any help?”. you nodded and wonhee urged you to show her. in the end product of episode two you got a lot of screen time because of the girl and yours interactions. as you performed you made a slight mistake. you slipped and then just decided to fuck it and go into a middle spilt.

the judges nodded along and the girls oohed. as you lined up your head was down.

“y/n-ah are you ok..?”. you shakes your head.

“I messed up in the middle I’m sorry”. you bowed and yunah rubbed your back as chanelle held your hand. the judge gasped.

“the spilt wasn’t in the choero”. you nodded and she clapped.

“it was good don’t worry”. you smiled as you sat down and yunah made sure everything was fine. as you sat in the locker room you tapped your feet waiting for someone to enter. when minju did you smiled. you loved her voice. minju gasped as your ran up and hugged her. you heard a scuff in the background.

“so I get no hug..”. you laughed as you ran to hug youngseo too. you tried to hold in your tears as the members got announced.

and your third member…

you crossed your fingers and closed your eyes shut.

y/n lee .. !

you gasped as chanelle hugged you. you were stunned leading chanelle to walk you over and give you one last big hug. iroha side hugged you as minju ruffled your hair. the other two members were announced and as the cameras turned of you were happy to meet your new family..

[lumosandnoxwriting]

flashback to my mistakes || George Weasley

Title: flashback to my mistakes Pairing: George x Reader Summary: George never planned on proposing marriage. Not after he broke the heart of the only woman he ever saw himself marrying. But when he’s up for Captain and the only thing standing in his way is a less than stellar reputation, he’s willing to do anything to overcome that. So when Fred suggests a fake dating scheme like all the romance books his girlfriend reads, George immediately agrees. What better way to show people he’s a serious role model than a lifelong commitment? Too bad the only woman he could even stomach pretending to be engaged to hates his guts. Or does she?

A/N:And here it is! The first part of my new hockey!george series! Hope you enjoy!

-

“Weasley,” Coach Morris greets as George steps into his office. George nods in response, settling into one of the chairs facing Coach’s desk when the other man motions for him to sit. “Thanks for coming to see me on such short notice.”

“Of course, Coach,” George responds, keeping it brief. He’s trying to exude a casual, confident aura to hide the fact that he’s freaking the fuck out on the inside. Getting called into the Coach's office during the season is one thing, but having him schedule a last minute meeting a week before pre-season is utterly terrifying. The fact that his Agent and a representative from Legal aren’t in attendance is the only thing keeping George from a full on panic attack. 

As long as his spot on the team is safe George doesn’t care what Coach might have to say.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I called you in today, and as much as I want to see you sweat a bit I’ll leave the torture for the ice,” Morris teases with a laugh. George doesn’t think he’s heard Coach laugh in the five years he’s been with the Rebels, so he manages to squeak out a chuckle. “As you know, Crawford retired at the end of the last season and the team is in need of a new captain.”

George clenches his fists, feeling like his stomach might fall out of his ass. As the center to Crawford’s right wing, George had been devastated when they lost in the second round of playoffs and Tyler announced his retirement in the locker room after. Losing a teammate is always hard, but Tyler had become like a big brother to George and he didn’t even think about the fact that he wasn’t just losing a good friend, but a captain as well. 

Until now. 

“I haven’t really thought about it,” George says honestly when Coach doesn’t continue. “I was more worried about who was going to replace Tyler on my line.”

Coach laughs again, shocking George just as much as the first time. “Well at any rate, the team is in need of a solid Captain. We lost a few other vets to trades and we’ve got a slew of rookies coming in who will need someone dependable to look up to as a role model. And to be honest with you George, your name has come up more than once.”

“Oh, wow,” George stutters out. “Just being considered for a position like that is an honor, Coach.”

George is not the most senior player on the team, so the fact that his name has been brought up in these discussions is truly a shock. He’s spent the last six years in the league working his ass off to try and make a name for himself playing the sport he loves. His rookie year he was placed on the third line, and every spare second of his time has been spent trying to improve in the hopes of moving up. 

It’s why he’s still around, even in the off season. Even when the team is on break George is training. Whether it’s in the weight room or on the ice, George is always working hard to stay fit and on top of his game. And clearly it’s paid off, since he was promoted to second line during his second season, and half way through his third Coach bumped him up to first. The feeling of being the first person on the ice is like nothing he’s ever felt, and George has worked his ass off to keep that privilege. 

And just the thought of having that capital C on his jersey as well has George feeling higher than any drug ever could.

“Final decisions haven’t been made yet, but I wanted to pull you in to let you know you were being considered because, well,” Coach pauses, and George thinks he might throw up. “Some of the administration thinks you’re still a little too fresh. You know I don’t like to listen to the shit some of those magazines publish, but not everyone who makes these decisions is the same way. And what you do or who you do off the ice is none of our business, but that doesn’t mean that the admin team likes hearing about the wild parties you go to and the girls you take home. Like I said they’re really looking for someone dependable and who can be a good role model to the younger guys on the team. We got so close to the Cup last year, and this year we’ve got the talent to get there, we just need the leadership to guide us.”

George nods in understanding. “Of course, Coach. I appreciate the heads up and the ability to show you and the rest of the admins that there’s no other man for the job but me. All that shit is in my past, I promise.”

“Good.” Coach starts to ruffle through the paperwork in front of him, and George takes that as a goodbye.

He shuffles out of the office and heads back down towards the parking lot, already trying to formulate a plan. 

Now that him being Captain is on the table, there’s no way he’s stopping until that capital C is his.

-

“So let me get this straight,” Fred starts, his familiar voice tinged with the tinny sound of a FaceTime call. “Coach said you’re on the short list for Captain, but some of the higher ups don’t think you’re a stable enough role model.”

George nods, taking a sip of his beer. “Precisely.”

“So now you’re trying to think up some kind of plan or scheme to convince everyone that your fuck boy days are in the past and you’re ready to be the team Daddy?”

“Yup, you got it.”

Even through the grainy call George can see the mischievous glint in his twin’s eyes. “Then you’ve come to the right place, little bro.”

George grins, but he knows it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. The only downside of his job and his dedication to it is that it keeps him from seeing his family regularly. When your job keeps you busy for eight months of the year and you spend the other four months training for that job there isn’t much time to fly across the country for a visit. His parents and siblings still live in the small town in Washington where they grew up, and not having them close by makes the big city feel even bigger. 

Under normal circumstances, Fred would be here on the couch with George. And they’d be sipping beers and scheming together. But a FaceTime call will have to suffice.

“So the partying has to stop, obviously,” Fred starts. “Or at least how publicly you do it. Same with the puck bunnies and trust me, I know, it wounds me to even say it. If I could get pussy that easily I would be fucking drowning in it, but if you want to project a new, focused and reliable persona you can’t be banging a new chick every night.”

“I came up with that on my own, genius,” George huffs. “But I don’t think that’s enough to really get through to everyone that I’m ready to be Captain.”

“And are you?” Fred asks. “Ready to be captain, that is.”

“Of course.” George is firm in his answer. “I know I can do it, and I’m just going along with some stupid scheme to show everyone else I can do it too.”

“Alright, bro, as long as you’re sure.” Fred pauses as they both think. An idea must hit him, because suddenly Fred’s eyes are lighting up. “Fake dating!”

George raises an eyebrow in question. “I’m sorry, what the hell did you just say?”

“Fake dating, it’s a book trope or whatever. Angelina is always talking my ear off about the newest book she’s reading, and it’s a pretty popular story line. You know, someone wants to make their ex jealous, or they need a fiance to get their inheritance. Bam, fake relationship.”

“Huh. That’s actually not the worst idea you’ve ever had,” George responds, his surprise evident in his tone. “A fake fiance would be the perfect cover. Shows my partying is behind me, and I’m ready to be serious and settle down. And then once I’m Captain and things have blown over, we’ll have an amicable break up and everything will be right with the world again.”

“And that little brother is how the master works,” Fred grins. “Now you just gotta find a girl. Maybe one of our past hookups.”

George frowns, shaking his head. “No, it’s gotta be someone I feel comfortable around and who I know won’t go blabbering to everyone about what’s happening. It has to be someone I might actually consider spending the rest of my life with. Some random puck bunny is not that.”

They both sit in silence, sipping on their beers as they try and figure out who that girl might be. And when they both suddenly make contact, there isn’t a doubt in anyone’s mind that they truly are identical twins. Because George can tell by the look on his brother’s face that they’ve both come to the same conclusion. 

“Y/N,” Fred is the only one brave enough to utter her name. 

And as much George wants to admit that his brother is wrong, deep down he knows that he’s right. Y/N is the only girl George has ever loved, and leaving her behind is the only regret he has in life. Fuck, even all these years later, just thinking about her makes his chest ache. Swearing off commitment and marriage isn’t something George ever even considered until he broke things off with Y/N. He only ever wanted those things with her, and just the thought of even pretending to feel those things for someone else makes him sick to his stomach.

“When’s the last time you talked to her?” Fred asks when George doesn’t say anything. 

“The day I left. I’ve tried to reach out a few times, but,” George shrugs, taking another long drag from his beer. “She never picked up or responded.”

“She still lives in town. If you just show up she’ll probably be so shocked she’ll have no option but to hear you out.”

George nods, reluctantly agreeing with his brother. “Looks like I’m coming home.”

-

“Everything looks the same,” George rumiates wistfully, his eyes roaming over the buildings they pass as Fred drives. 

He hasn’t been back home in nearly a decade, and yet his hometown looks as if it was frozen in time. The ice cream parlor on main street still has the same faded red and white awning, and George swears the chalkboard out front boasts the same specials it did when he used to take Y/N there after school. 

The memory of Y/N reminds him both of why it’s been so long since he came back, and why he finally did. Every inch of this town is covered in memories of Y/N, and every reminder of her cuts George down to the bone. Deep down he knows that letting go of her all those years ago was the best decision for both of them, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. 

“Well here we are,” Fred announces, pulling George out of his thoughts. But once he realizes where exactly they are his stomach drops. 

Parklane Community Center, is still plastered on the front of the familiar building and George thinks he may actually throw up. This is where he learned to skate, where he joined his first PeeWee league and where he led his high school team to the state championship four years in a row. 

This is also the place where he first met Y/N, when they were both six year olds teetering on brand new ice skates. They’d held onto each other, rather than the orange traffic cones all the kids had been given, and that was the start of a beautiful friendship. Y/N never did anything with those lessons like George did, but she was sitting in the stands cheering him on at every single game he played on that ice. 

When they were in middle school George took Y/N to the community center for open skating on their first ever date. They’d held hands as they glided across the ice and every time she so much as stumbled George was there to catch her. After they got done on the ice they drank hot chocolate at one of the tables, their free hands still intertwined. 

Their first kiss happened here too, right before George tried out for the local travel team and he was practically vibrating with nerves. But as soon as Y/N’s lips touched his all those nerves melted away, and George became the youngest member of the team.

Every moment that lead to George playing in the NHL took place here at this rink, and Y/N was there for every single one of them. 

“Here? You’re sure?” George asks once he’s able to speak. 

Fred nods, giving his brother a sympathetic look. “Yeah, she teaches lessons on the weekend.”

Taking a deep inhale George closes his eyes, needing to take a second to center himself. Not only is he about to see the love of his life for the first time since he broke her heart, but he’s about to ask her for the biggest favor known to man. He can do this, he knows he can. He’s just not sure if he’s ready.

Once his eyes pop back open Fred claps him on the shoulder. “You got this, man.”

Giving his brother a nod in thanks, George braces himself, throwing the car door open and stepping out into the parking lot.  

Here goes nothing.

-

It takes George several minutes to actually make his way to the rink. 

Greg, the same janitor who was in charge of the facility when George was a boy, spotted him the second he came in the door, and pulled him over into a conversation. Which ended up being a good thing, because the morning lesson was just finishing up and while they were chatting a flood of parents with their kids came rushing out of the double doors that lead into the rink. So what started as an annoying inconvenience actually turned into a blessing in disguise, because George definitely did not want to see Y/N for the first time in front of her students and their parents.

With a promise to come back soon, George parts from Greg. He stands just outside the doors to the rink for a few seconds, just taking a few more deep breaths. He’s hit with a wave of nostalgia as he approaches the rink, and it almost brings him to his knees. 

There’s a long figure out on the ice, and George doesn’t need to look for long to know it’s Y/N. He’d recognize the outline of her body anywhere, and she’s just as beautiful as he remembers. She’s just gliding along the ice, not really doing anything fancy and George creeps closer to the boards. He’s drawn to Y/N, and he’s far too weak to resist the pull.

Suddenly Y/N turns on her skates, and George is face to face with the woman he loves. 

Y/N stops, a strangled gasp leaving her lips as she takes in the man standing less than ten feet away. Anyone else in her position would assume that it’s Fred just stopping by to be annoying. But Y/N spent years studying the slight differences between the twins, and there’s no doubt in her mind that George Weasley is standing there. At the rink. Looking right at her. 

Holy fucking shit. 

He looks older, more mature and even in the faint light she can see the slight crook in his nose after it got broken in a game last season. All the times she imagined this moment, never did Y/N actually think it would ever occur. She’s spent years wishing George would come home, but now that it’s here she’s not really sure how to feel. 

Especially considering the way things ended between them. It almost feels like some weird twist of fate, that George should show back up in her life here at the rink, considering it was this very spot where he left her all those years ago.

-

“There you are,” Y/N greets as she steps up to the boards, a wide smile on her face. She’d been trying to get in touch with George for the last few hours, and when he wasn’t at home she knew there was only one other place he’d be.

The rink.

When George just keeps skating Y/N yells out. “Hey! I’m talking to you, George!”

Ice sprays out as George comes to a sharp stop, giving up on whatever drill he’d been running. He doesn’t even bother to mutter an apology, but he does slowly make his way over to where Y/N is standing. 

“What’s up?”

She frowns at him. “What crawled up your ass and died?”

“Nothing, I’m just in the middle of something.”

“Oh, excuse me,” Y/N bites. She hates getting short with George, but it seems almost necessary lately with how moody he’s been. In all the years they’ve been together George has never been this distant, and it’s starting to worry her. After they managed to survive freshman year of college apart, Y/N figured the next three years would be a breeze. But now George is about to leave after Spring Break and she can’t help but feel like she’s about to lose him for good. 

Softening her tone, Y/N reaches out to grab George’s hand. “I can’t help you deal with whatever’s going on in that head of yours if you don’t talk to me about it, Georgie. You and I against the world, remember?”

“Do you remember that guy Jameson? The Agent who signed me at the end of the last season?” George asks instead of responding to Y/N’s concern. He’s been torturing himself for days on how to have this conversation with her, and even still he’s not ready. 

Though George isn’t sure he’d ever be ready to break up with the only woman he will ever love. 

“Yeah,” Y/N answers skeptically. 

“He called me, the other day. Said some teams have been interested. Chicago’s going to draft me next week.”

“George, that’s amazing!” Y/N cheers, jumping up and down in excitement. But when she goes to hug George and he steps away from her embrace, all that joy drains from her body. “George?”

“It’s still not a guarantee, they’re offering me a contract for after graduation,” George explains. “It’s provisional, if I let myself slip they can still withdraw, and then I’ll have to reenter the draft as a free agent after graduation.”

“Okay,” Y/N drawls, a sinking feeling in her stomach. She has a feeling that she knows where this is going, but part of her is still hanging on. 

“I need to focus on hockey, Y/N. This is my only opportunity to prove to myself and everyone else that I’m good enough. That I can compete on a professional level.” George exhales sharply. “I don’t have time for distractions.”

“Distractions?” Y/N squeaks out, her voice already thick with emotion. “That's all I am to you, George? After everything we’ve been through together? I’m just some stupid distraction.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” George apologizes, but he can’t even look her in the eyes. “But this means everything to me, you know that.”

“Of course I knew that,” Y/N says defeatedly, her voice breaking. “I just thought I meant more.”

George keeps his head down as Y/N leaves him behind, both of their broken hearts spread out on the floor.

-

“Hi,” George greets, breaking the silence. 

“Really?” Y/N asks, voice firm. “Eight years and all you can say is ‘hi’?”

Her tone stings, but George knows he deserves it. He spent so much time thinking about what it would be like to see her again that he didn’t even consider what he might say to her once he did. Just add it to the list of fuck ups he’s been accruing since he walked away from Y/N all those years ago. 

“I’ve never been good with words,” George explains with a shrug. “And unfortunately there isn’t a book out there called ‘what to say to your ex-girlfriend when you come to ask her for a favor eight years after you broke her heart.’”

That intrigues Y/N and she skates closer to George. “You finally came home after all these years to ask me a favor? What are you, dying?” When George doesn’t say anything Y/N feels her stomach sinking. “Holy fuck, George are you dying?”

George is ashamed at how good it feels to hear the genuine worry in her tone. Having her worry that he’s dying is the actual bare minimum, but he’ll take anything he can get. 

“No, nothing like that,” he assures with a grin. “Just hear me out, please?”

Despite the million reasons why even entertaining George is a bad idea, Y/N finds herself nodding in agreement. Because she’s felt a lot of things for George Weasley since he broke her heart, and unfortunately for her love seems to be the strongest. She never stopped loving him, and even after all the years she has a hard time denying him anything.

Once she’s off the ice George helps her put her skate guards on, a simple action that has her cheeks flushing and butterflies threatening to erupt from her tummy. Y/N also takes the hand that George offers, letting him lead her over to the bleachers. Once they sit Y/N keeps her distance, sitting far enough away that they aren’t touching but so she can still feel the heat radiating off of him. 

“There’s a strong possibility that I’ll be the next Captain of the Rebels,” George starts slowly, trying to find the right words. “Morrison, my Coach, said I have a lot of support. But some of the other higher ups don’t know if I’m the best role model for the team.”

“Okay,” Y/N says, her tone questioning. Clearly she’s not as devious as George and Fred, since she has no idea why George is telling her all of this.

“So I’ve been trying to clean up my image, you know? All the partying and stuff.” A knot has lodged itself in his throat, and George swallows thickly. “But I don’t know if that’s enough. Captain is a serious job, and I want everyone to know that I’m serious about it.”

“And that requires a favor from me, how?”

George sighs. “Well Fred and I were talking,” he stops, unable to keep from chuckling when Y/N mutters a quiet "this can’t be good.” “And he suggested this uh, fake dating scheme. He said Angelina reads a lot of rom coms that include it. Basically, Fred said that the best way for me to showcase that I’m a serious guy and a good role model is to uh, ask someone to be my fake fiance.”

Y/N is silent as she lets George’s words soak in, and once they do her jaw nearly drops. “Are you seriously sitting here right now asking for me to pretend to be your fiance? After everything we’ve been through?”

“There’s no other woman in the world I’d ever imagine wearing my ring, Y/N. When I think about marriage, even fake marriage, you’re the only woman that comes to mind.”

The honesty in George’s voice punches her in the gut. This is such a bad idea, and yet Y/N finds herself considering it. Because despite the pain and the years apart, sitting here with George still feels like home. All of her efforts to push him from her mind, to date other people and move on have always failed. Everything has always come back to George Weasley. 

Realistically she knows that this is just going to end in heartbreak again. As soon as George gets what he wants their little charade will be over, and she’ll go back to having a George shaped hole in her life and in her heart. But the smallest part of her, the part that has read those same rom coms and knows the fake dating always turns into real dating, holds out hope that this may be their second chance. 

Either this is the way she rids George from her system for good, or this is the way she keeps him in her life forever. 

And Y/N will never forgive herself if she doesn’t find out which it is. 

Taking a deep breath, Y/N gives George a curt nod. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

The smile that takes over George’s face takes her breath away. “Really? You will?”

“Yes, George. I will.”

Immediately George drops down to one knee and Y/N lets out a sharp gasp when he produces a small velvet jewelry box from his pocket. This is not how she ever imagined a proposal from George, but if this is all she’s ever going to get Y/N will take it. 

“In that case,” George starts, opening up the box to reveal a gorgeous, simple diamond ring on a white gold band. “Y/N, will you pretend to be my future wife?”

[underoossss]

I’m here – s.h

pairing: steve harrington x f!reader

summary: when you have an accident, steve comes to the rescue, bathing you in comfort and soothing your worries without a second thought. in other words good old hurt/comfort goodness.

warnings: mention of injury though nothing is descriptive. maybe the cheesy title needed a warning too.

an: im on my knees begging that this shows up in the tags, i’ve tried everything. Anyways, im back after my writers blog to deliver softness and cute fics again. Enjoy! and let me know if you like this, reblogs are always helpful🥺

Masterlist

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Sock-clad feet glide on the hardwood floor of the hallway as the Saturday sunlight streams through the windows.  You turn up the volume of your radio, dancing and bobbing your head to your Duran Duran cassette. It is a universal truth that listening to music while you do chores will not only make you productive, but it will make the tasks more bearable. So Girls on Film floods the first floor of the house as you take the newly dry clothes to the kitchen to fold later. You sing along to the lyrics while you do the dishes and proceed to make something to eat. There are fresh groceries in the fridge, which you got yesterday, and you take out everything you need to make a club sandwich.

You’re so distracted while preparing and eating your food, that you don’t realize time has escaped you suddenly. The clock says its 1:15pm, and you promised Max you’d go skateboarding with her that afternoon –she’s supposed to be here in 30 minutes and you’re still not ready. “Shit.” You say, chewing the rest of your sandwich as fast as you can.

You rush through everything after that: shoving things back in the fridge, leaving your dish to wash later, and running upstairs with armfuls of unfolded clothes to throw on your parents’ bed to be folded later. They’re away for the next five days, so they won’t mind –if you remember to fold them before they get back. You spot your favorite tank top, a lovely deep green one, in the middle of the pile and grab it before you go to your bedroom. Some light washed jeans, the tank top, new socks, and converse and you’re ready to go.

A second later, the doorbell rings, announcing Max’s arrival. “Coming!” You yell over the music, which you then turn off.

Max stands on your porch, her skateboard under her arm. She has her hair braided into two pigtails and her freckles are standing out more than ever with the fierce sunlight outside. “Hey.” She says, “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, I just need my skateboard.” You tell her, then go back inside to search the living room’s closet for it. “Aha! Now I’m ready.”

Locking the front door behind you, the two of you skate down the road to the old Hawkins skate park. It is near your house –roughly five blocks– and because Max says the new one is always crowded, the two of you have made it a habit to use the old one instead. It’s not old perse, it just not as fancy as the new one.  

“I learned this new trick I have to show you.” Max says proudly, a grin lighting up her features.

“A new trick? Where?” You ask her, pushing at the ground with your foot to gain more speed.

“I saw some boys do it the other day, and I think I got it down now.” She explains, glancing at you for a second before chuckling. “I think I can do it even better than them.”

“Oh, I bet.” You smile, “I need to learn it then, so we can outskate them.”

Sure enough Max starts to teach you the new trick immediately after you reach the skate park. She mentions it might be called a heelflip but she’s unsure, the boys she copied from were far enough that she couldn’t catch everything they said.

“Basically,” Max says. “You jump and use your right foot to flip the board, and land on it once it turns back around.”

The redhead demonstrates, failing at the first try but getting it right by the second. You watch her do the trick five more times, trying to memorize the way she moves her feet before and after she jumps. Once you’re sure you understand what you have to do, you begin to practice, which leads you to one, two, three, and several other failed attempts.

With your frustration beginning to increase, you huff and nod to yourself in determination. “This time for sure.” You tell no one in particular.

You push the ground with your foot and skate a few feet before you try to flip the board again, only to make a terrible mistake immediately after. Just as you think you managed to successfully flip and land on your skateboard, your left foot lands too close to the rear-edge of the board and you fall backwards. The weight of your body falls on your left arm, and thankfully not your head, but an intense pain overwhelms you for a second, making your ears ring. The ache doesn’t pass and instead stays in your arm, and you lie on the ground, your left side touching the hot cement. You try to move it, so you can sit up, but you find that you can’t; it only makes more pain shoot up from your arm to the rest of your body.

“Fuck!” You curse out from gritted teeth, your face contorted in pain as you roll to your back and sit up. You clutch your left arm close to your body as best as you can without injuring it more. “Fuck, shit, ouch, dammit.”

Max rushes to your side in a second, kneeling in front of you to see what happened. “What happened?” Her blue eyes are wide with worry as she sees you hold your arm and squeeze your eyes shut. “Your arm?”

“I think I broke it, Max. I can’t move it.” You say, taking deep breaths and looking into her eyes. The distress in her own is obvious, so you swallow back the pain and say in a calm voice. “We have to go back home.”

Max nods but still glances worriedly at your arm, “We need to get you to the hospital.”

You whimper in pain and nod even though the very thought of going to the hospital makes you nauseous. You hate hospitals, you’re terrified of doctors and any sort of procedure. “I know. Just help me stand up, we need to call Steve.”

The redhead holds the back of your right elbow gently and wraps her arm around your waist to hoist you up. You exhale shakily as another shock of pain shoots up your arm while Max grabs both of your skateboards –she holds one under each arm and walks next to you. The walk to the house is silent, with you focusing on everything else around you besides the pain, and Max burning a hole in your skin as she looks at you.

“I’m so sorry, this is my fault.” She says.

“Max, it’s not your fault. No one could have known that I would fall, I didn’t think I’d fall.” You shake your head instantly, then look at her worried face. “Please, don’t beat yourself up about this.”

She nods silently, worrying at her bottom lip nervously. “We’re almost back.”

You look up ahead and notice she’s right.  Your house can be seen in the distance, and it makes relief wash over your features. Shade, water, and a phone to call your boyfriend. They’re all so close but the last feet to reach the house feel like insurmountable task. It’s like each step breaks your arm again and again; by the time you give Max your keys and step through the front door, your forehead is covered in sweat and tears threaten to spill from your eyes.

“Call Steve, I’ll get you some water.” Max tells you, leaving the skateboards out of the way and disappearing into the kitchen.

You walk to the yellow phone that’s propped in the hallway’s wall –an inconvenience every day but you can’t bring yourself to complain now– and dial the number you memorized two years ago, picking up the headset with your right hand. Your body aches, and you feel exhaustion creep up on you as the phone rings.

Steve picks up the phone on the third ring, his voice a soothing sound to your ears. “Hello?”

“Hey Stevie.” You say into the headset; your face is a grimace, but your voice is light as air. “How are you, baby?”

“Missing you,” Steve grumbles on the other line. “And jealous that Mayfield has a whole day with you. Wait, aren’t you supposed to be skating?”

“Yeah….” You chuckle but the movement makes you flinch and whimper. “About that.”

Max, who returned with the glass of water, sighs exasperated. She fights you momentarily for the headset, with an unfair advantage of not being in pain, and uses it to deliver the news to Steve. “Yeah, she broke her arm.”

You imagine Steve is asking What?! In a tone of disbelief and worry.

“Y/N broke her arm, we’re at her house and need to get to the hospital.” She says, raising her eyebrows and shaking her head at you when you frown at her bluntness. It seems like the initial shock from your injury has worn off, and now she has a resolute look in her face. “You have to come pick us up.”

“Tell him not to speed. If he does, I’m walking to the hospital. We don’t need another accident.” You tell her even as another wave of pain washes over you. You didn’t want to get Steve so worried he’ll go over the speeding limit, but with the way Max dumped the news on him… he’s more than likely to.

You hear Max tell him this and nod her head and whatever Steve says on the other line before she passes the headset back to you. “He’s coming.” She tells you as you press the headset into your ear.

“Baby.” Steve says, so softly and comforting to your ears that you fight back tears. Your eyes squeeze shut to keep from crying; the next breath you take is shaky.

“I need you.” You mumble, taking another deep breath to keep your voice steady. “Drive safely.”

“I’ll be there in 10. Hang on, okay?” You can hear Steve’s keys jingle on the other end of the line, and you nod. You know he can’t see you but who cares.

“Okay.”

You hang up a second later and accept the glass of water Max hands you. “Thank you.” You tell her, leaning your head against the wall.

Max nods as her eyes scan your face and her eyebrows meet in the middle. “You’ll be okay soon, let’s go wait on the porch.”

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Steve gets there in 8 minutes, leaves the car on, and rushes to the front door where you and Max wait already. He frowns when he sees you clutch your arm and notices that it’s beginning to bruise. Steve wipes the light sheen of sweat that covers your forehead once he’s in front of you and cradles your cheeks softly in his hands. “Hey, babygirl.”

You exhale shakily when he presses his forehead against yours. His presence is a comfort, his words even more so. “Let’s get you fixed up, okay? You’ll be better in no time.”

“Stevie, I’m scared. I hate hospitals.” You confess to him in a whisper as a rogue tear escapes you. Though you don’t know if it’s from pain, fear, or relief of seeing him. “I don’t want to go.”

“You’re in pain, you have to go. I know it scares you but you got us, okay?.” Steve motions over his shoulder to his car. “Let’s get in the car, beautiful.”

He places a soft kiss to your temple when you nod, before leading you towards his car –left hand on the low of your back. Max opens the door for you, and you slide in while Steve shuts the door close and runs over the drivers’ side. You press the side of your head to the window, the cold glass soothing as you close your eyes.

“Pass me the Flock of Seagulls cassette; they’re all in the pocket in front of you.” Steve asks Max as he pulls away from the driveway. “The colourful one.”

“Yeah, I know which one.” Max says, you can hear the eyeroll in her tone –it makes you smile briefly.

Steve fiddles with the cassette before inserting it into the car’s player. A few seconds later, the first chords of I Ran begin to play, filling the car with music. “There you go, baby.” Steve says, putting his right hand on your thigh and rubbing your skin softly with his thumb. “You love their songs.”

You move to look at him— he’s got that worried pinch between his brows despite the smile he’s giving you. The sun makes his hair turn a honey colour, and his white t-shirt turns a shade of yellow as sunlight reflects off the dashboard and onto him. You’re in so much pain you can’t even appreciate how well this outfit look on him. He’s so handsome, he’s also trying very hard to keep it together for you, and you love him so much.

“I do.” You mumble, smiling softly at him. “Thank you, Stevie.”

Minutes later you’re being led to the emergency room by Steve and Max, where nurses take over despite their protests. You can’t help but feel anxious, and in more pain, as you’re pulled away from them. Your heartbeat picks up every time the nurse touches you, and your eyes tear up when she checks your arm –her touch is careful but your arm hurts so much that it feels like she’s pressing hard on your skin. She takes your vital signs and tells you to sit down in a bed until the doctor arrives.

You nod and try to swallow but your throat keeps tightening. “Can my boyfriend come keep me company, please?” Your voice sounds breathless as you speak. “I’m feeling very anxious and he’s the one who always knows what to do.”

Maybe it’s the tone in which you speak, or your anxiousness written too plainly on your face, but the nurse nods silently and leaves. You hear hurried footsteps immediately after. Steve’s hair is a mess as he steps through the door, and you’re so glad to see him you slouch where you sit. Though the movement makes you knock your elbow with your thigh, and you wince in pain.

“Careful, baby.” Steve tells you quietly, approaching you and holding your free hand. “I’m here, the nurse said you asked for me.”

“Stevie,” You shake your head. “I got anxious and lonely. I–I needed you.”

“And I’m here.” Steve reassures you, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’m staying right here, okay?”

“Thank you.” You nod weakly, looking into the lovely brown color of his eyes as he kisses your knuckles repeatedly. “The nurse said a doctor is coming soon.”

As if summoned by your words, the doctor arrives and crosses the threshold of the room to stand by your bed. He’s a short man with black rimmed glasses, greying buzz-cut hair, and deep frown lines on his forehead. The tag on his white coat says doctor Dennison, and he introduces himself by the same name a second later.

“I’ve just talked to the nurse. From what she tells me, we need to take an x-ray of your arm.” He says, talking your injured arm gently in his hands and examining it by touch. “You can’t move it?”

“No, it hurts too much if I try.” You say as you wince when he touches the muscle below your elbow. Your fingers squeeze Steve’s hand tightly; you worry whether you’re hurting him.

“Looks like the fracture is here.” He says, touching the place with two careful fingers. “The x-ray will tell us if we’ll need to operate or not.”

You squeeze Steve’s hand in fear this time, and he squeezes right back in reassurance. “Surgery?” Steve asks the doctor, frowning down at your arm. He knows your fear of doctors and knows needing surgery would send you into a nervous frenzy.

“It looks like only one of the forearm bones is broken but I need to see just how much. If the fracture is at two places, we need to stabilize them with surgery, so they heal correctly.” The doctor tells you and Steve. “The good thing is, your arm hasn’t swelled much, so if you don’t need surgery, we can put your arm in a cast today.”

You nod your head, though you feel numb and more anxious than ever; surgery had never crossed your mind. Why did you have to break your arm.

“I’ll have the nurse prep the x-ray room.” The doctor says before he leaves.

“Thank you, doctor.” Steve tells him, then turns back to you. “I’m sure you won’t need surgery baby.”

“What if I do, Stevie.” You whisper, feeling fear try to take you into its clutches. “I’ve never had surgery before… it scares me.”

Steve lets go of your hand for a moment to slide a chair over to your bed, where he sits and offers his hand again. “If you do, you’ll be more than okay, babygirl.”

“How can you be sure?” You ask him as you look into his eyes though tears are threatening to fall down your cheeks and it makes him look blurry.

Your boyfriend kisses you hand again, his lips soft on your skin as he pecks it repeatedly. “Because you’re strong, Y/N. I know this is scary, but I also know you’ve been very brave despite of your fear before.”

Your eyes squeeze shut at his words, and you nod trying to summon that bravery he claims you have. You both survived the upside down, surely that’s scarier than this. “I’ll be okay.” You say more to yourself than to Steve.

“You will.” He reaches up and wipes your tears away with a reassuring smile. “I’ll be right here, and I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?”

You nod again and just then the nurse is back to take you to the x-ray room so you can find out how serious your injury is.

“Go tell Max I’m okay.” You tell Steve before you leave the room. “I’m sure she’s worried.”

Steve nods, and the soft look in his eyes reassures your frantic heart that things will be okay.

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It turns out, that your injury won’t require surgery, like Steve had reassured you.

There’s a nurse putting pain medication into an IV that’s attached to your right arm, while Doctor Dennison looks over your x-ray.

“You’ve got one clean fracture right here.” The doctor points at the broken bone below your elbow. “So once the medication kicks in, I’m going to set it and we’ll place a cast on your arm.”

You nod in understanding and look away from the x-ray, looking at the fracture makes a shiver go down your spine. “Will I get to go home today?” You ask.

The doctor smiles, “Of course. Once you get the cast, we’ll immobilize your arm with a sling and you’re ready to go.”

“Thank God.” Steve says, rubbing his face with his hands –the first time since you talked to him earlier that he’s shown worry. All the tension in his body leaves him at once when he smiles at you. “Told you.”

Now in less pain than before, and calmer, you smile back at him. He’s reassured you all afternoon, it’s your turn. “I know.”

Though the process is painless and simple, you cling to Steve’s hand when the doctor makes sure your bone is in the right place and proceeds to put the cast on your arm. It goes from your wrist to just above your elbow, immobilizing your left for the next 8 weeks. You smile down at it once you’re given the all-clear by the nurse, knowing the kids, Robin, and Eddie will doodle all over it once they find out what happened. Then, there’s paperwork to sign and pain medication to get for the next five days as prescribed by the doctor –which Steve insists on getting (and you insist on paying back, to no avail). But soon enough you’re reuniting with Max in the waiting room, Steve’s left hand on the small of your back and his right holding a white plastic bag.

“All done.” You tell Max with a reassuring smile. “Sorry for making you wait so long.”

The redhead glances out the automatic doors to see the sky turn orange as the sun begins to set, –it was high in the sky when you first arrived. “I didn’t notice.” She shakes her head. “Are you feeling better now?”

You nod your head. “I’m just tired.”

“Come on let’s get you home then.” Steve mutters against your temple before placing a kiss there.

“Can I drive?” Max asks Steve, sounding hopeful.

“Absolutely not.” Steve tells her and you smile.

Their bickering and the rest of the Flock of Seagulls cassette fill the car on the drive away from the hospital. The air feels calmer with everyone less anxious than before, and you’re in between falling asleep and looking at the pretty pink sky out of the window. Steve drops Max off at her place, and she promises to visit you tomorrow morning, to which you nod with a smile and tell her you’ll be waiting. A short ride later, you’re back at your house, with Steve opening the door for you and leading you inside.

“Finally.” You sigh, moving so you’re standing in front of Steve and can lean your forehead against his shoulder. “I hate hospitals.”

“I know.” Steve whispers, his arms going around your waist carefully.

“Stevie…”

“Yeah, baby?” He takes one step back to look at you, dipping his chin to his chest to meet your eyes.

“Don’t go.” You whisper, eyes glancing at your feet then back to his face. “I don’t want you to go.”

Your heartbeat is drumming loudly in your ears as your right hand holds Steve’s forearm. You have five more days alone in your house, now with a broken arm, and though your parents have left in other occasions, it feels different this time. It makes you anxious at the thought of being alone, after a day at the hospital you feel on edge.

“I wasn’t planning on going anywhere.” Steve smiles, bringing one of his hands to hold your cheek. You melt with his touch, head tipping to the side to get more of it. “I was going to ask you if I could stay the rest of the week.”

You think about how there’s already enough of his clothes in your drawers for him to stay over and nod your head. Your eyes open and focus on his. “Of course, you can.”

“Let me take care of you, okay?” He drops his forehead against yours while he whispers. “What do you need baby, name it.”

You hum and close your already heavy eyes. “A shower, the leftovers in the fridge, and 10 hours of cuddling.”

Steve smiles, bringing his smile over your lips as he dips his head. “I can do that.” His lips brush against yours as he speaks, and you smile.

“And a kiss?” You add moving your hand from his forearm to the back of his neck slowly.

“Always. All of them, anytime you want.” He says before closing the gap small gap between you.

You’re unable to hold back the sigh that leaves your lips at the kiss and you’re mindful of your arm as you lean your body closer to Steve’s. He is warm against you, gentle in the way he holds your face but not as much as he kisses you. His kisses are needy, a firm pressure against yours, and you can relate to what he’s feeling. It’s been a long and stressful day, one that’s taken a toll on you and, on top of keeping you from sharing a single kiss, most likely worried Steve more than he let show. You feel your body humming with love, your fingertips tingling with it; the wholesome feeling of Steve’s affection, soothing and curing every worry and discomfort you shoved back throughout the day. He pulls back after a few minutes and presses his nose to the side of yours while he keeps you close.

“I love you.” He whispers. “You were so brave today.”

“I love you.” You mumble against this lips, unable to stop yourself from placing a couple of kisses over his bottom lip. “I was terrified, I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“I always got you, babygirl.” Steve says kissing you softly one more time.

“Can you help me shower?” You ask him even though you know he’ll say yes. “I don’t know how I’ll manage to wash my hair with one arm like this.”

Steve follows your eyes down to your cast before he looks back at you. “You don’t even have to ask. Besides, I gotta make sure you don’t get your cast wet.”

You nod your head. “There’s plastic bags in the kitchen, I think that’ll help?”

“I’ll grab them. You head over to the shower okay, beautiful? I’ll be right there.” Steve leaves a lingering kiss on your lips before disappearing into the kitchen while you stare at his retreating figure, wondering how you got so lucky.

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[skywalker1dream]

Title: Interview with the four-time world champion.

Hii! so this have been in my mind quite long time and I'm listening to my impulsive thoughts and doing this.... first I want to say English is not my mother tongue so please let me know if there are any mistakes...Give me some advices if you want...which I'm sure will help me..If you want, share your opinion on what to write..And I won't say much here. Hope you guys like it

it's all fiction(ofc we can only fantasize about this fine man) please don't hate my work or me (I have traumatic experience bc of wattpad) if I missed something pls tell me. Thanks for your attention:3

Sebastian x journalist!reader

Warning: I don't think there is any Warning

The sound of engines roaring and the smell of burning rubber filled the air as you walked through the paddock, your heart pounding with excitement. It was race day, and the energy was palpable. As a motorsport journalist, you had the privilege of being up close to the action, but today was different. Today, you were here to interview the four-time world champion, Sebastian Vettel.

You had met Sebastian a few times before during post-race interviews, but today’s meeting felt more personal. Maybe it was because you had been following his career since his early days, or perhaps it was the way he smiled at you last time, a genuine warmth in his eyes that made your stomach flutter.

As you approached the famous ferrari garage, you spotted him immediately. He was talking with his engineers, a serious expression on his face, but when he saw you, his features softened into a welcoming smile.

“Hey, Schatz” he greeted, pulling you into a friendly hug. “Ready for our chat?”

You nodded, trying to keep your cool despite the proximity, and fact that when he hugged you you felt butterflies in your stomach. “Absolutely. Thanks for taking the time, Sebastian.”

You found a quiet corner near the garage, the noise of the track a distant hum. As you set up your recorder, Sebastian leaned casually against a stack of tires, his relaxed demeanor putting you at ease.

The interview began smoothly. Sebastian answered your questions with his usual charm and thoughtfulness, occasionally making you laugh with his witty remarks. But as you wrapped up, he surprised you with a question of his own.

“So, Schatz, what do you do when you’re not chasing after us drivers?” he asked, a teasing and mischievous glint in his eye.

You chuckled, a bit taken aback. “I guess I try to have a normal life. Reading, cooking, maybe catching a movie when I can.”

Sebastian’s smile widened. “Sounds like we have more in common than I thought. I love cooking too. Maybe we should compare notes sometime.

Your heart skipped a beat at the suggestion, but you played it cool. “I’d like that. Maybe after the season ends?”

“It’s a date then,” he said, his tone light but his eyes sincere.

Before you could respond, an announcement over the loudspeaker called the drivers to the grid. Sebastian stood up, giving you one last, lingering look.

“Wish me luck out there.”

“Good luck, Sebastian,” you replied, your voice a bit breathless. “I’ll be cheering for you.”

As you watched him walk away, your heart raced faster than any car on the track. You couldn’t wait for the season to end, and for that promised dinner with Sebastian Vettel. Until then, you had his smile to hold onto, a beacon of warmth and possibility in the high-octane world of Formula 1.

hope you guys like it, I know its short but i had to try..I can write part 2 if you want. Oh and have you seen him in Imola god he looks good..and as they say dululu is soululu I hope he comes back..fingers crossed 🤞

[pengweng-quack]

Being a Witch with Vampires

Carlisle Cullen x Witch!OC

Summary: Stella (A witch) and Carlisle (A vampire), and how they blossomed from roommates to friends(?) to partners

Chapter 5/7

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Notes:

This was inspired by this fanfic on tumblr by lis-likes-fics titled "In My Defense, I Was Left Unsupervised"

This is also on Ao3 under the same title and same username too if you'd like to read it there (https://archiveofourown.org/works/53448940)

Posting is random lol, hope you guys enjoy this story

The end of Being a Witch with Vampires is nearing, thank you for all the support that you've given for this series, you are all appreciated beyond words! <3

Word Count: 2774 words

TW for this chapter: Blood mentions

Timeline: Breaking Dawn

Masterlist

“We’re home.” Carlisle announced, walking in the house with the other Cullens. Bella and Jacob shared one look at each other, realizing that they wouldn’t be able to hide it, especially with Edward’s abilities

“Where’s Stella?” Edward asked loudly. Bella and Jacob looked at each other, they knew that he knew her disappearance already

“She said she’ll be staying in our room.” Carlisle answered with confidence. And that broke Bella’s heart. This was what happened to Stella years ago, with her confidence high knowing she’ll be going home to someone, only for it to crumble.

“She’s not here.” Jasper said, looking at Carlisle and Stella’s room

“What do you know?” Edward asked Jacob, grabbing the collar of his shirt

“She had to leave.” Jacob answered, knowing he had no way out “Didn’t tell us anything.”

“I can’t see into Stella’s future anymore either.” Alice said, trying to do another vision but it causing just a headache

“She’s blocking her thoughts as well.” Edward added

Because of Stella's absence, the Cullens were even more stressed. Everyone understood, though, that Carlisle was the most affected of all. It felt like a payment for leaving her a while back, an overdue one, but still was a payment.

“Still nothing?” Carlisle quietly asked Alice as she shook her head no

The Cullens didn’t know what Stella’s reason of leaving was. But they hope that it was for a good cause. Carlisle continued reading on every scripture that he and Stella has collected over the years, distracting himself from Stella’s continuous absence.

~~

Stella has quickly made her way to her old home in Italy, the place where she lost her freedom and regained it at once. She walked up to the door and knocked, knowing that it was still Sam that owned the house.

“Who’s— Stella?” Sam asked, opening the door. It was obvious on his face that he was shocked seeing her again. Especially when it has been almost 300 years since they last saw each other

“Hi.” Stella greeted politely before he greeted her back with a hug, whispering his ‘I miss you’s’ to her

“Are you—

“Sam, no.” Stella called at once as she enters the place that she once called home, it was left the same as how it was when she left. She remembered that night like the palm of her hand. How could she forget anyways?

It was the place where Carlisle has saved her from her initial fate.

“Right.” Sam realized, a disappointed smile on his face

Stella immediately rushed to the library, scanning through books that could possibly help with Bella. She had one glimpse of a book that discussed about how witches affected vampires, so she decided to grab that and put it in a separate stack away from the books that could help Bella’s case.

“Why are you back?” Sam asked, resting on the doorframe and watching her grab piles and piles of books from the library

“I needed the library.” Stella answered immediately, using her magic to grab any book that mentioned a human-vampire relationship

“I thought…never mind.” Sam started before shutting his mouth

Stella decided to have a chat with Sam once and for all. For the proper closure he needed. It was wrong of her to leave him in the middle of the night all those decades ago, but she wanted to be selfish of her own happiness. Choose what she knows will make her happy with her life.

And that was with Carlisle.

“Sam.” Stella called, he immediately looked at her

“I owe you an apology.” She continued, going closer to him and facing him

“Can I ask you a question?” Sam asked, Stella nodded immediately “Does the vampire treat you right? Are you happy with him?”

“The happiest I know I will be.” Stella answered earnestly, remembering Carlisle and his ways of making her happy

“Then I’m happy.” Sam said, a genuine smile on his face, grabbing her hand and squeezing it softly “No need to apologize for choosing your happiness.”

“I’m sorry.” Stella repeated “You didn’t deserve to be left like that. I really just wanted the freedom that Carlisle offered to me.”

“I know.” He simply responded

“I used the guidance, asking if there were any chance that you will come back. The guidance told me no, it told me that you were destined for more than what a simple witch life will offer to you. That was the reason why you were made the strongest among us all.” Sam explained, making Stella look at him

“You used the guidance?” Stella asked, Sam nodded immediately

“It was tough learning it, and scary.” He added to his answer

“I’ve only asked the guidance for two things: if there were any chance that you will come back, and if I had a chance of getting my own happiness. Greatly weakened me, those two.” Sam continued, scoffing lightly at himself “I couldn’t use any type of magic for a while after doing it.”

It was a huge realization on what she needed to do, a branch of magic she never wanted to study. But, her family needs this. Her family needs her to be brave.

For her family.

“Mind if you teach me?”

~~

Stella landed in front of the Cullens after leaving for over a week. She was anxious in seeing them again but she knew that what she did was for a good cause. Walking up to the door, she knocked on it, waiting for someone to open it.

“Stella, you’re back.” Jacob said, opening the door and letting her in

“I got some reading on Bella’s case.” She announced, entering the house

Carlisle’s head popped up from the kitchen, and was about to ask Jacob on who was on the door. His face showed shock with Stella being back, he didn’t know how to properly react. But she knew something about Bella’s case, he would be damned if he doesn’t welcome her back

Not that he could even think of shunning her away.

“What is it?” Jacob asked

“Blood. Bella needs blood.” Stella answered before Carlisle fully walked near them

“What do you mean?” Carlisle asked

“The baby in Bella is taking a lot of Bella’s blood, she needs to get blood from another source.” Stella explained immediately, grabbing her bag and pulling a blood bag

“Your blood.” Carlisle said once he’s had a scent of the blood. Stella saw how Carlisle closed his eyes and turned his head away, trying to stop the scent of her blood from influencing his next decisions

“It’s not gonna do anything to her, blood’s too old for that. I decided to try it out with my own blood first, seeing as me and Bella had the same blood type too.” Stella explained, grabbing a bottle with a straw and dripping the blood in it “A witch’s blood is sweeter than human blood. She needs to get used to the blood’s feeling first before switching to a human blood.”

“I’m gonna be sick.” Jacob said, moving further away from the two

“I suggest you get used to this.” Stella said, before walking fast to where Bella was, Carlisle trailing behind her

“Stella, you’re back.” Bella weakly called, trying to plaster a smile

“Oh dear.” Stella said, seeing Bella’s case “You look—

“Like I’m gonna die, I know.” Bella continued for her, a sad smile on her face

“Take this.” Stella ordered softly, sitting next to her and offering a straw “It’s a witch’s blood.”

“Her blood, in particular.” Carlisle added, kind of assuring Bella

Bella drank from the straw. It was a horrifying sight, but she was willing to go to any length to keep Bella alive. Even breaking the pledge that she made to herself

She eventually began to drink more, slowly finishing the entire glass. The sight astounded Carlisle, Bella appeared to be in better health than before, and he felt that things would be easier now that Stella had returned with newfound knowledge. After all, she is his clever and confident witch.

“Stella?” Edward asked, entering the house just after a hunt. Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett behind him with curious and shocked looks on their faces

“Bella needs to get blood from another source. The baby in her is taking all the blood that she could have.” Carlisle explained to them “Stella found it from her readings.”

“What she’s drinking now is my blood but left out in the open for a few days, if you’re confused with the scent.” Stella explained to them “A witch’s blood is sweeter than a human blood. What we’re just gonna do is to get her used to the texture of the blood before switching to a human blood.”

“How many bags of your blood do you still have?” Carlisle asked Stella

“I have three more.” Stella answered calmly

“So, are we not gonna talk about how Stella just left and came back like it was nothing?” Rosalie asked. Stella stared at Rosalie and realized that her quick departure had betrayed her the most, but she had no choice. She had to do everything she could to help Bella, especially because Carlisle was just as uninformed as the rest of them.

“I had to return to Italy, where I had left most of my books, and I wanted to know whether any of them mentioned a vampire-human kid and how the mother can survive.” Stella explained to them “I’m sorry for leaving without some sort of goodbye, but I know you all will not let me go if I tell you that I’m leaving for Italy.”

She went in front of Rosalie and opened her arms for a hug. Rosalie quickly rushed in for the hug, missing the mother figure that she’s had ever since her transition to vampire. The others joined in the hug, all mentioning their wishes that she doesn’t do something like that ever again.

Carlisle learned from too many late-night chats with Stella that she never wanted to return to Italy since the only nice thing that came out of it was him. He felt something stir in him when Stella decided to take lead in this moment where he had little knowledge.

Suddenly, them being together made perfect sense.

~~

“Stella, help!” Edward called in distress. Stella rushed in, seeing Bella be the most fragile thing there is in the room

“Have you injected the syringe?” Stella asked and he quickly nodded

“Where’s Carlisle?” She asked again, watching as Edward starts doing chest compressions on her

“Outside, they’re fighting off the wolves.” He answered, biting all skin available in hopes that she had just enough time for her transition from man to vampire

Stella rushed out, seeing her family fight off wolves, she pushed one away from Alice with her magic before hearing the shapeshifter’s thoughts

‘The witch is mine’ one wolf ordered to the others, before a pure black wolf attacked her, pulling her by her shoulders

“No!” She heard Carlisle yelled, quickly punching the wolf attacking him and rushing to where she was. Seth attacked the black wolf, helping Stella get composure and tie the black wolf with red ropes from her magic.

Carlisle pulled Stella near him, not wanting to be separated from her. They moved to be near the house, doing everything in their power to fend off the wolves against Bella.

They were outnumbered. Stella looked at Carlisle, hoping that this wouldn’t be their end. If they were attacking this aggressively, it meant one thing.

Bella was dead.

Stella being distracted from Bella’s death had gotten her to be dragged away by a wolf, throwing her into the depths of the forest, hitting her back into one of the trees. She winced in pain but decided to stand up and fight from behind. She started flicking her hands, throwing the wolves just as they had thrown her.

One attacked behind her, pushing her to the front of the vampires, she was sure that something in her was bleeding. Carlisle helped her up, she was wincing from the pain. Jacob was in front in his wolf form, he was intimidating the wolves.

“Jacob imprinted. They can’t hurt her.” Edward announced to everyone

“Whoever a wolf imprints on can’t be harmed.” He continued, a look of relief on his face “It’s their most absolute law.”

~~

“Da columbam albam si spes nulla est (give the white dove if there is no hope).” Stella chanted over a small white candle

“Duce, mea numina (give me guidance, my gods).” Stella prayed again, closing her eyes and murmuring the same two spells two more times before blowing the candle out

“Your forbidden spells.” Carlisle said, hearing her chant in Latin

“Carlisle.” Stella called in shock. She had planned to hide it from him for as long as possible.

“Since when?” Carlisle asked, sitting next to her

“When I left, I knew that I had to learn it. For Bella.” Stella explained

“But you said before that you feared using that in fear of using the guidance instead of accepting the consequences.” Carlisle said

“And let her die?” Stella asked “I know my limitations. And I know that you’ll help me with controlling my desire too.”

“When I came back to Italy, Sam was still there.” Stella started, getting Carlisle’s full attention. He moved to sit next to her, scared that this will be one of the last moments that he’ll be with her

“What happened?” Carlisle asked. He was scared to hear whatever was gonna be her answer, because it could lead into him losing his mate

“He went and hugged me, thinking that I was coming back for him.” Stella said lowly “I told him that it wasn’t my purpose there.”

“What happened next?” Carlisle asked

“When I went home, I did some reading. Not just on Bella’s case. But also, on witches’ mates.” Stella answered

“If a vampire were to offer themselves to a witch, a witch could go and deny them. But not because of not wanting them like I have been taught all my life.” Stella explained to Carlisle

“What is it then?” Carlisle asked

“If a witch does accept the vampire’s offer, the witch and a vampire will then be bonded. Your pain becomes my pain and my pain becomes your pain.” She continued; Carlisle was still not understanding what was the meaning of what she was saying

“If anything happens to you, it will only be a short matter of time until something fatal happens to me.” She explained “The reason why witches deny the vampires is because they know that vampires are easy to kill. No witch is strong enough to accept that their life will end after their mate dies.”

“Do you think that it’s a big deal?” Carlisle asked quietly

“I want you to live after my death.” Stella answered, the thought of Carlisle dying when she dies haunting her. Her accepting his offer to be his mate would be a life sentence for him

“Do…do you think that I’ll be able to live a life without you in it?” Carlisle asked quietly as Stella wept from the possibilities of her death causing an end to his as well

“I cannot ask you to do that for me.” She murmured “They will need you; you know that.”

“I need you.” Carlisle said almost immediately “I need you to know just how much I’m willing to be yours.”

Carlisle softly grabbed Stella face, wiping all of the tear marks off her face. Before pulling her for a soft kiss. Stella wasn’t a master with words, but the emotions that Carlisle felt during their kiss made him understand just how much she needed him too.

Carlisle understood now, that if he were to offer Stella to be his mate, that she would accept wholeheartedly.

He wanted it done soon.

No

He wanted it done now.

“I’m yours, mi amor. All yours.” Carlisle softly announced to her

“You own all of me. Even before you had the thought of loving me.” Carlisle continued, rubbing his nose against Stella’s nose

“I’m all yours to love. All yours to live with. All yours to be with for an eternity. I’m all yours.”

Carlisle pulled her for another kiss, but this time it was softer. And calmer, but so, so filled with love.

It was right when they say that they’ve waited far too long for this.

“I love you.” Stella whispered as she pulled away from the kiss

“I love you more.” Carlisle answered back immediately, cupping her cheeks as he plants kisses all over her face

[theanticool]

Alexandre Pantoja takes UD over Steve Erceg to defend title.

Steve Erceg made a great account of himself for a guy in his 4th UFC fight facing the best flyweight in the division. Really pieced up Pantoja on the feet in a way that basically nobody has since he fought like Figgy.

Just too many poor decisions. The obvious ones were the late takedown attempts. He thought Pantoja was fading and kept shooting only to have Pantoja force a scramble and end up on top. That's what sealed that final round for him. But even early on, he was good at defending takedowns until he kept putting himself into the fence. When this fight first got announced, I think my initial question was when Pantoja charges forward behind long combos, what does Erceg look like defending takedowns? And we saw that he backs up in straight lines to the fence where even when he didn't get immediately taken down, he had Pantoja on his hips controlling action. Still, a good performance from Erceg. The boxing and elbow skills are real, though not fully realized. He'll be back before too long. Just give him a 12-18 months.

As for Pantoja, he got another title defense. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't dominant. He didn't look like an elite technician but he made it work for him. After this, I really want to see him against Amir Albazi. Think that fight could be chaos.

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

Car Crash

Title: Car Crash

Genre: Fake dating, enemies to lovers

Tags/Warnings: idol!yn, idol!jihoon, gn!yn but they’re in a group with girls so interpret as you will (also sex), arguing, word count (all together) 35k words :(, Sungsoo exists which is always scary in fics, Jihoon’s kind of shy

Smut warnings: Smut is in part two, Reader is a bottom, dirty talk, teasing, Jihoon isn’t shy when they’re having sex, top!Jihoon, …mindbreak?, creampie, overstimulation, blowjob, fingering

I split this into two parts because it is so stupid long.

 -

Part One:

You watched in quiet amusement as Jihoon slipped into his studio, clearly not knowing yet that you were there. To announce your presence without being too startling, you pressed your hand against the computer keyboard on the desk surface beside you, making it squeak a little in resistance.

Jihoon jumped at the noise, his eyes growing wide and his mouth falling open when he saw you. You laughed at the reaction and raised a hand in the air.

“Calm down, it’s just me,” You assured him softly. You watched him visibly relax, his shoulders dropping as he set the plastic bags in his hands down on the studio floor.

“What are you doing here?” He asked you, and you would be stupid to not notice the small hitch in his voice as he spoke. You didn’t pay it too much attention. You just kicked your dangling feet more through the air, humming as you lowered your eyes down to your toes.

“Just thought I would come check up on my dear Jihoonie,” you replied, your voice dripping with a sweet tone that you didn’t even know that you were capable of. When you looked up Jihoon was just standing there staring at you, clearly wanting to know why you were really there.

“The company wants us to go out. Jeonghan tipped off the press that we have big plans tonight,” you explained with a grunt. “So, we’re going on a date.”

Jihoon didn’t say anything to that- to the point that his silence made you a little bit anxious. You raised your eyes to his again and noticed that he was just staring at you. God you didn’t understand him. Why was he so surprised by something so simple?

“Get off my desk,” Jihoon finally said. “I told you not to touch my things.”

You and Jihoon were in a rather peculiar situation with one another. It wasn’t exactly complicated, but it also wasn’t simple. The basics went like this: You and Jihoon had hated one another since the first day that you were just starting as a trainee at Pledis.

You took one look at one another and knew that you two wouldn’t work out. It wasn’t anything that really made sense. Everyone said that you two would get along and liked all the same things, but you two had decided either way that you would be enemies from day one and it was the only thing that you two agreed on.

If Jihoon decided that he wanted to do something, you decided that you wouldn’t be caught dead doing it. If Jihoon heard you were the one preparing dinner for everyone that night, he ordered take out. If you found out that you would be recording with Jihoon in the studio, you made a point to be as late as you could justify.

The only problem with your little feud was that it wasn’t really good on the company.

“Rumors are getting out that you two hate each other,” Sungsoo said pointedly, his eyebrows raising as he leaned forward on his desk.

“Rumors are true,” Jihoon replied just as bluntly. “What’s next?”

“We can’t have these things get out,” Sungsoo grunted with a slight roll of his eyes. “We try to pass ourselves off as a company that is more like a family then a group of strangers.”

“Family fights,” you replied, reaching across the room and lightly hitting Jihoon over the head. Jihoon jumped slightly and made a sound of protest as he hit you back.

“I can’t believe you would hit me!” Jihoon protested

“You’re hardly a human to begin with!” You shot back.

“This is exactly what I am talking about!” Sungsoo interrupted. You turned to look at him, immediately regretting your actions. Sungsoo was so angry he was red. “We can’t tolerate this behavior, why do you two even hate each other so much?”

Silence filled the room.

“Alright, that settles it. Too much is happening because of you two. People are starting to make video compilations addressing the rumor. Luckily, it’s nothing substantial,” Sungsoo continued. “What do you think we should do? Hmm, how do you guys propose to start stamping out these rumors?”

Still, silence was all that could be heard.

“You two are going to start dating.”

“What?!” Both you and Jihoon exclaimed at the same time. Sungsoo shot you both a look and you sat back down.

“You can’t be serious,” you mumbled. “Surely a dating rumor is worse than one that we hate each other.”

“It’s a risk,” Sungsoo agreed with a small nod of his head. “But a risk that I’d rather take then let people think that the trainees under this company don’t like one another.”

“I won’t do it,” Jihoon protested. “I won’t even pretend to date someone like-”

“Then I’ll postpone your comeback, and suspend you from the group,” Sungsoo said. “A hate rumor leads to bullying rumors, and bullying rumors can ruin your groups reputation and lead to disbandment. A dating confirmation just means that everyone under our company gets along and we gain the respect of a lot of foreigners.”

You looked over at Jihoon, shocked that you were hearing what you were. It was clear that the decision for you two had already long been determined and that no wasn’t really an option. You couldn’t believe that this was the solution they had come to when faced with the threat of a bullying rumor.

“There has to be some other solution,” you said, turning back to face the President. “Any solution. I promise we’ll behave from now on-”

“The date is already planned,” Sungsoo interrupted. “You either agree or your careers as idols are over. I love you guys, and I know this is harsh but this- it’s for the best.”

You couldn’t help the way that Sungsoo’s words echoed through your head that day, and the days after. You couldn’t really wrap your head around the fact that you had somehow gotten yourself dragged into this impossible situation.

Looking back on it you were beginning to regret being so public about your distaste for Lee Jihoon, but now... It was a little late to go back on that.

You stood in front of your mirror, absolutely fuming at the fact you had to go on this date at all. Everything about this felt wrong to you, even the outfit that you knew you would normally love to wear. Why were you dressing so cute for Jihoon anyways? It was just stupid Jihoon. There was a soft knock at your door and before you could answer it, the door was being pushed open.

“Look at you, you know mom is so proud that you’re going on your first date,” Jeonghan cooed. You glanced back at him over your shoulder in time to see him propped against your door frame. “Dad’s not too excited about it.”

“Don’t you have dance practice?” You asked, aggravation creeping into your voice. Jeonghan shrugged.

“This is much more entertaining.”

You weren’t really sure how Jeonghan had managed to figure out that you and Jihoon weren’t actually dating. The minute the article came out he was knocking on your door, that characteristic look on his face that told you that Jeonghan didn’t believe a single lie coming out of your mouth.

“So you and Jihoon,” he drawled. You were staring at him with your arms crossed over your chest in nothing but your pajamas. You wouldn’t put up with this from just anyone. If Mingyu had barged into your room at two in the morning he would have gotten an earful.

But Jeonghan was Jeonghan. He did what he wanted, he didn’t care what others had to say about it, and he was quite honestly one of the least judgmental people you had ever met in your life. So, when it was him, you didn’t really mind, no matter how annoyed he seemed to make you.

“It’s two in the morning Jeonghan,” you said bluntly. “Do you have anything important to say or not?”

“Depends on if you are going to lie to me or not.”

You stayed silent. Just stared at him.

“I know you and Jihoon aren’t actually dating,” Jeonghan said. “You’re telling me that the same person that was complaining yesterday about the fact that Jihoon drinks americanos has been dating him?”

You shrugged.

“It was a secret,” you said. “I had to make up something convincing. I made up that I hated him.”

“Right.” Jeonghan stared at you, practically daring you to keep the lie up.

“Jeonghan, can I go to bed?” You asked. He hummed.

“Sure.”

He turned away from you and began to close your door.

“But we aren’t done talking about this.”

And true to his word Jeonghan had not dropped the topic.

You gave said boy a pressed expression.

“Can’t you just pretend you don’t know?” You asked. Jeonghan’s eyebrows rose in amusement.

“Know that you two aren’t actually dating?” He asked. You wanted to scream.

“Know that we are dating,” you corrected. “It was easier when no one knew.”

Jeonghan hummed.

“Didn’t take you for the type that enjoyed lying.”

You wondered if ignoring Jeonghan would make it easier to resist his badgering so you pushed past him, trusting him to close the door to your room. Walking into the living room of the dorm you shared with your group members you saw Ai and Nari sitting on the couch. They must have heard the chains of your platforms clanging against your shoes because they both turned away from the drama they were watching to look at you.

You huffed, placing a hand on your hip.

“I have a boyfriend,” you said bluntly. “You can’t just let strange men into my room.”

A puzzled expression crossed Ai’s face.

“We didn’t let a man into your room, we let Jeonghan into your room.”

Nari giggled softly, hiding her smile with her hand. Nari and Ai were the two youngest members of your idol group. Nari had chestnut brown hair that fell just above her shoulders, while Ai had long black hair that fell past her lower back. They were both about the same height just barely shorter then you and-

“You act as if any of us have control over what Jeonghan does,” Chae said with a laugh. She was the eldest of your group with dark hair that matched Ai’s and the roundest cheeks of anyone that you had ever met. Between Nari and Ai; Chae undeniably looked the most innocent, but in reality she was even more ruthless than you were.

“I’m just here to see you off on your date,” Jeonghan said innocently as he joined your side. You shot him a glare and began to walk around.

“See you around,” you called over to your dorm mates. They all echoed farewells and you distantly heard their conversations turn to that of what movie to watch for the night.

You hated to miss movie night, in fact, you had been secretly really disappointed when the company had scheduled your first public date on a day that was reserved solely for you and your group mates but there wasn’t much that could be said to change things.

“You sure did get dolled up for our little Jihoon,” Jeonghan teased, falling it step with you again. You groaned.

“Jeonghan! Seriously leave me alone.”

“I’ll do what you wish just as soon as I see you and your boyfriend off.”

On a different day you might actually fight with Jeonghan for your privacy. Despite being one of your best friends he did get under your skin quite easily, but he only ever pushed you as far as you let him. You knew that if you changed your intonation and the way that you were looking at him you would be able to get Jeonghan to leave you alone.

And you knew that Jeonghan knew that as well.

But trying to convince the people closest in your life that you had been convincingly hiding a relationship with a man you openly hated had your heart in your throat. And as much as you knew he shouldn’t, you really wanted Jeonghan to know that this was all fake. You really hoped that he didn’t drop this.

When you two rounded the corner to the front door you felt your chest tighten even further. Jihoon was standing at the end of the hall, his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes on the ground. He had a white button up on and a pair of jeans. Nothing special really, but more form fitting then he normally wore. As you and Jeonghan approached he raised his eyes, first looking at you and then looking at Jeonghan. His eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you...?”

“Mazel tov!” Jeonghan cheered mockingly. He pushed you towards Jihoon, forcibly closing the distance between the two of you. As soon as you regained control of your body you put your hands on your hips, fixing your glare back on Jeonghan.

“He’s insisted on seeing us off,” you replied. “He thinks we’re lying.”

You had to give credit where credit was due. When Jihoon heard you, his eyes widened just so and he turned his attention fully to you.

“Why wouldn’t he believe us?” Jihoon asked you. You shrugged. He glanced at Jeonghan, giving him a weird look. “Go back to your room Jeonghan.”

As he spoke he held his hand out to you. You looked at it, for a second too long. You didn’t want to touch him. You had gone a really long time not having to touch Jihoon and you didn’t want to start now. The thought of touching someone who hated you as much as you knew that Jihoon did made your skin crawl.

You took Jihoon’s hand and pressed your lips into a smile.

You would just have to get used to your skin crawling.

“I know you two are faking,” Jeonghan practically sang. “Have fun pretending like you can actually stand one another.”

And like that you and Jihoon slipped out into the cold night air.

A date at night was actually a bit of a dream for you. There was something magical about going on a late night stroll with someone. It made everything seem so quiet.

When you were alone at night with someone you loved the huge, loud world suddenly felt just a little bit smaller.

“Your hand is clammy,” Jihoon mumbled. You sighed, your appreciation for the night broken. You pulled your hand from Jihoon’s making a point of wiping your hands against your pants.

You two walked together in silence, both keeping a good amount of space between each other. You knew that you should probably say something to him but you really didn’t want to and clearly Jihoon didn’t want to talk to you either.

And yet the silence was overbearing.

“So the paparazzi show up at the restaurant thirty minutes in?” You asked. You knew that the answer was yes but you were sick of this awkwardness.

“Congratulations you know how to listen,” Jihoon responded immediately. You felt a strand of your hair fall in your face and you pushed it back out of your face a little more aggressively than you normally would.

“You don’t have to be a dick about everything,” you mumbled. “After all-” You swung your body in front of him, pressing a wide, cocky smile on your lips, leaning close to his face. “We’re dating now.”

Jihoon didn’t even flinch. He stared at you for a moment, no emotion spreading over his face. Then his face scrunched in disgust and he brushed past you.

“Get serious,” he mumbled. You huffed out a breath of air and jogged a second to catch back up to him. “This is the absolute worse thing that could have happened to me this year.”

“I’m not thrilled about it either,” you responded sharply. “I could be on the couch rewatching the Saw movies with the girls.”

“And I could be working on the next title track for Seventeen’s album,” Jihoon bit back. “We could both be doing better things if it weren’t for your mistake.”

“My mistake?” You blurted. You were about to go off on him because the idea that this whole situation was solely your fault was laughable, but even as the anger boiled up into your throat you forced it down. “What got us into this was exactly this. Us fighting. We won’t make a convincing couple if we keep fighting.”

Jihoon fell silent for a few moments.

“I hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

When you got into the restaurant the time between when the paparazzi arrived and when you two sat down dragged along for what felt like hours. And it was some of the most awkward hours that could have passed. You felt bad for your waitress who could practically feel the tension between you two.

When the paparazzi finally arrived and you saw the first flashes of cameras out of your peripheral, you leaned forward, holding out your hand for Jihoon to take.

“I hope you’re a good actor,” you whispered.

His eyes flickered to yours and you pulled your mask down, reaching across the table to take one of Jihoon’s fries. You smiled cheekily at him.

“Your fries are better than mine,” you said innocently. Jihoon’s face briefly flickered with disgust, but when he pulled down his mask his facial expression was one of amusement.

“My fries taste just the same as yours,” he insisted. You reached over to take another one of his and he playfully swatted your hand. “Eat your own.”

You whined playfully and began to write a story for him, telling him about your day and your friends animatedly. Jihoon actually managed to feign interest in what you had to say even though you knew that in reality he hated every second. He nodded when he needed to, laughed at all the right parts, and he never expressed anything other than pure devotion towards you.

“Do you hate me?” You asked, interrupting your story. Jihoon’s eyebrows shot up- genuine surprise riddled over his face.

“Why do you say that?”

You waved your hand in the air.

“You won’t hold my hand.”

Jihoon’s laugh sounded natural. He reached forward and intertwined his fingers with yours. His eyebrow quirked.

“Happy?”

If it hadn’t been Jihoon you thought maybe your heart would flutter.

“You have to make it up to me,” you replied coyly. Jihoon tilted his head to the side, his hair falling into his face.

“And how can I make it up?”

You stood up, pressing your body over the table. With your free hand you brushed the hair out of Jihoon’s face. You two hadn’t discussed this. The fact that you two were going to have to kiss in order to really sell this façade but you could tell by Jihoon’s face that he had seen it coming. He leaned closer to you, his lips quirking up even more. It was a clear invitation to close the distance.

“I think you know how to make it up to me.”

Jihoon pressed closer to you, his lips teasingly brushing against yours. You felt disgusted having to kiss him, but even so you pressed even closer to him completely closing the distance between you two.

The worst part about kissing Jihoon wasn’t kissing Jihoon. As an idol, you had been training since you were thirteen to debut and, that being said it left you with little time to have an actual life. You didn’t get to do clubs after school or go to the mall with friends. Your earliest memories were those of your time with Ai, Nari, and Chae. You three had spent your childhood together.

The only normal memories that you had were ones that you all had crafted together. Sneaking out to the park, and flirting with boys there until your manager found you all and dragged you back to the company. You wanted to smile remembering the punishments you three had endured when you were just trying to be kids.

All that to say, the worst part about kissing Jihoon was that he was your first kiss. A moment that people treasured in their minds so dearly. Looked forward to having so much. Fantasized for so many years snatched away from you by the man you hated the most.

When you pulled away from Jihoon there was still a smile on your lips, but you felt like a little piece of you had died.

“Are you happier now?” Jihoon asked teasingly. You sat back in your seat, squeezing his hand.

“Yeah,” you said. “Can we get dessert?”

The rest of the date flew by. You held Jihoon’s hand the whole time and you whined until he fed you some of the chocolate cake that you two shared. When the waitress brought over your check you both fought over who was going to pay like a couple in their honeymoon phase and before you left the restaurant you took Jihoon’s hat from him and put it on your own head.

It wasn’t until you two slipped back into the dorms that you both roomed in that you were finally able to drop the act.

You felt a relieved breath leave your mouth at finally being out of the view of the paparazzi’s camera lens, but your relief was brief. Jihoon snatched his hat from of your head, looking clearly aggravated as he situated it back on his head.

“Don’t steal my stuff,” he asserted.

“I had to be convincing,” you replied shrugging it off. “You thought I wanted to wear your hat?”

He didn’t respond to you. He didn’t even say anything in farewell. Instead, he turned on his heel and wandered away. You felt frustration bubbling in your stomach but you didn’t get the chance to fully express it as moments later a hand was on your shoulder.

You yelped at the touch, throwing your hand over your mouth.

“Relax, it’s just me.”

You thought that it was almost worse that it was Jeonghan standing there. You let your hand drop from your mouth and you fixed Jeonghan under a glare.

“Han, I’m tired,” you murmured.

“I just want to know how the date went,” Jeonghan replied, feigning innocence. You didn’t fall for those big puppy dog eyes.

“It was nice,” you said, a fake smile flitting across your lips. “Jihoon and I don’t get to go on dates a lot. It’s nice that we can go on more now.”

“Wow,” Jeonghan said, and for a brief second you thought you had convinced him. “You are a really bad liar.”

You rolled your eyes and turned away from Jeonghan, determined to ask him why he was so confident it was fake when you heard something starting to play behind him.

“Don’t steal my stuff,” Jihoon’s voice repeated. And then you heard your voice, clear as day.

“I had to be convincing. You thought I wanted to wear your hat?”

Your shoulders slacked and you looked back at Jeonghan.

“Did you wait around for hours just so you could record us and prove we aren’t dating?” You asked him. He smiled cockily.

“It was 100% worth it.”

The pro to Jeonghan knowing that you were in a fake relationship was obvious. You got to complain to someone about Jihoon all over again. Even if it was someone who was actually quite close to Jihoon no matter what you said.

“I hate this,” you blurted. “Have I said that yet? I have to kiss that jerk. Kiss him.”

Jeonghan just smiled at you as you rambled about your most recent date with Jihoon.

“You’re not being nearly convincing enough,” Jeonghan warned softly.

“Are you kidding?” You argued. “We hold hands, we kiss, I steal his clothes-”

Jeonghan was clearly completely ignoring what you had to say. Instead he opened his phone and slid his phone across the table.

“Does this really look like a happy couple to you?”

It was a picture of you and Jihoon, holding hands from one of your dates. You two had gummy smiles, and you were laughing at something he had said. To a passer-byer you and Jihoon did look like a happy couple. But under a trained eye- Even just the eye of a dedicated fan- you could see the tension between the two of you.

“We’re doing our best,” you said. “How are two people who hate each other supposed to convincingly act like they like one another?”

Jeonghan hummed softly, not seeming too affected by your excuses. He turned his attention back to the latte that was in front of him, nursing the straw as a way to divert his attention. You pressed your lips together firmly.

“What would you do in my situation?” You asked. He glanced back up at your from beneath his eyelashes.

“Try to get to know him,” Jeonghan replied pointedly. “It’s easier to fake something if there is a little bit of truth in it.”

“I don’t want to get to know him,” you replied stubbornly. “This is so stupid. How is a dating scandal better than it getting out that we hate each other?”

Jeonghan sighed.

“What is up with you? Usually you are so adaptable,” he mumbled. “But it’s like when it has to do with Jihoon you completely lose sense of what is reasonable.”

You grumbled but let your attention turn back to your phone. You slid it open, scrolling through your emails when Jeonghan peered over your shoulder.

“Have you changed your lock screen yet?” Jeonghan asked. You glanced up at him.

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have a picture of your boyfriend as your lock screen on your phone.”

You stared at him blankly for a few moments.

“I hate you,” you finally said. Jeonghan shrugged innocently.

“Isn’t that what normal couples do?” He asked. It was moments like these that made you wonder why you liked Jeonghan’s company so much… But then again you supposed any relationship was better than your one with Jihoon.

“Okay I think that we should be good for the day,” you panted softly, your chest rising and falling with the anticipation of having to run this dance again. While Nari and Ai practically fell to the ground in exhaustion, Chae just propped herself on you. You stood there panting and as you two were catching your breath the door to the room opened. You glanced over at the door as three people walked in. You felt pure exhaustion pump through you as you forced yourself to dip your head, all of the others following suit.

The three that had come in were Hansol, Wonwoo, and... Your aggravation almost made it so that you missed the smiles and hello’s that Hansol and Wonwoo gave you. Almost.

You scoffed loudly, causing the third person in the room to look up suddenly. Then without a smile or a nod or any type of acknowledgment he looked away, saying something to Wonwoo.

You couldn’t help the way that the pressure built in your chest at something so simple as him not acknowledging that you were there. You weren’t sure why it made you so angry- if it had been someone else you probably wouldn’t have cared- but it wasn’t somebody else. It was Jihoon.

“Do you think that you’re better than us?” You demanded. Everyone in the room seemed shocked by your outburst. Nari and Ai ran up to your side, grabbing at your wrists.

“They’re just busy-”

“It takes two seconds to acknowledge us,” you blurted. “Wonwoo and Hansol both said hi, but Jihoon thinks just because he’s the star producer of Pledis-” Your fellow members were urgently trying to hush you but it wasn’t cooling you down at all. You only stopped because finally Jihoon seemed to deem you worthy enough to acknowledge. His eyebrows furrowed and his head cocked to the side.

“I say hello to people I care about and people who deserve it,” Jihoon said pointedly. You scoffed and started to pull away from the others in your group but they stopped you before you could get very far.

“Calm down.” “Sorry about this.”

“It’s been a really tiring day.”

You protested them pulling you away but all you ended up doing was causing a bigger scene and the whole time Jihoon was just staring at you as if he had done nothing wrong at all.

You knew that today was going to be awful when you looked up from your stretches to see Lee Jihoon standing at the door to the practice room. When Ai followed your gaze, a smile spread over Jihoon’s.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Want to go out tonight?”

You forced yourself to smile back at him, trying to make it seem more real by turning your head from him a little. Ai made a really excited expression towards you and pulled you into a slightly hushed excited squeal.

You cleared your throat and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, nodding at him slyly.

“I suppose I have the time for it.”

After getting ready you finally left your dorm room to Jihoon leaning against the wall of the hallway. He looked you up and down.

“Took you long enough.”

You rolled your eyes.

“And here I thought you asked me out because you liked me.”

This date was different from the first. A walk in the park. You both went out dressed similarly to the first date, matching baggy clothes and hats and masks to hide your identities. Still the tipped off press were able to spot you two quickly and you and Jihoon did your best to put on a good show.

Despite his warnings you made a point to steal Jihoon’s hat again, laughing as he chased you around the park. You both fell to the ground and Jihoon smiled down at you, both of his hands capturing you beneath him.

“I hope love doesn’t actually make me act like this,” he whispered to you, that fake smile still spread over his face. You snorted.

“You think anyone is going to fall in love with you?” You asked him. You could tell that he was resisting the urge to sneer at you.

“Do we really have to kiss?” He groaned.

“I wish we didn’t.”

You leaned up, pressing your lips to his chastely.

“Unfortunately, we do.”

-

“Holy water isn't enough to get that man’s touch off of me,” you complained as the hot water splattered across your skin, washing the body soap off of you for what felt like the millionth time. Jeonghan hummed from the other side of the curtain.

“You’re being dramatic. He’s just a man.”

You peeked out at Jeonghan from around the curtain.

“If you’re going to be in the bathroom while I shower you might as well agree with me,” you grumbled. He raised an amused eyebrow at you.

“Well, I could join you in the shower.”

You snorted and slid your head back into the shower.

“That would make things easier,” you replied. “I’m sure the netizens would love it if they found out I took showers with Yoon Jeonghan along with dating Lee Jihoon.”

You whistled.

“The media would say I’m a slut.”

“Why else would you let me do wordle in the bathroom while you take a shower?”

You coated your body with soap once again and then began to wash it off.

“You barely leave me alone as it is,” you replied. “Why fight it?”

You heard your phone ding and before you could ask Jeonghan what it was he was speaking.

“The boss wants to see you and Jihoon in five.”

You groaned, letting your head hit the shower wall dramatically.

“I’ll see myself out. Have fun with your boyfriend.”

-

“You two are not being convincing.”

You and Jihoon glanced at one another from where you two were sitting... Practically across the room from one another. At having caught your gaze Jihoon scowled and looked away from you. You sighed.

“How are we not being convincing?” You demanded. “We kiss, we laugh, we hold hands-”

“Yeah and it’s not enough. Your fans think that this is some company ploy,” Sungsoo said.

“They have common sense,” Jihoon commented bluntly. Sungsoo glared over at him.

“You know what is one thing that you two have in common?” Sungsoo asked. You both stayed silently. “You both love music. And writing music. And expressing your feelings through music.”

You didn’t understand what this had to do with anything and Sungsoo seemed to sense that.

“You brats...” He mumbled. “You’re going to write a song together.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you both blurted. Sungsoo sighed.

“Can’t you two just be good? It’s your fault for being so unreasonable. Why do you two hate each other so much anyways?”

You both fell silent, neither of you willing to say anything. Sungsoo just sighed, rubbing his face with his hand.

“Do you know how hard it is to run this company?” He asked you two. “I have so much shit to deal with and now I have to worry about you two ruining your reputations.”

He looked back up.

“I’m not doing this to torture you two, I’m doing this because it is what we have to do in order to protect your careers. Why are you making me the bad guy?”

You and Jihoon were both silent.

“Just write a stupid love song okay? You two are good at that.”

You glanced at Jihoon at that, and Jihoon glanced at you. He seemed conflicted, stuck between angry and helpless. He didn’t let the interaction last for long. He stood up and looked from you to Sungsoo.

“Fine. One song.”

He looked back at you, his expression still unreadable.

“Let’s just get it over with.”

And then without any further dismissal he let himself out of the office.

Sungsoo was clearly frustrated. He shook his head letting it drop into his hands again.

“In all my years..” He murmured.

You sighed.

“Do we really have to do this?” You asked him. “Sungsoo, it’s just us.”

“That doesn’t change my answer,” Sungsoo said firmly. “Do you not understand how serious this is?”

“It’s just a stupid rumor about two idols disliking each other. Do you know how many rumors there are like that in the idol world?”

“You don’t-”

“Minho and Key used to hate each other, Kino and Hui, Jae and YoungK-”

“All of those are in the past tense,” Sungsoo insisted.

“So? They still actively hated each other at one point- Some for years. People understand people hating each other.”

As you spoke Sungsoo made a point to ignore you. He turned to his computer beginning to mess around with it.

“Are you even listening to me?” You blurted. “There’s literally a legendary JYP trainee fight and your worried about it getting out that Jihoon and I- two trainees in different groups- don't like each other? Mark Tuan threw a laptop at Bambam once and-”

Sungsoo suddenly turned his computer screen towards you. You faltered.

“What-”

“Just read it.”

So, you did. It was an article. It started off describing Seventeen’s career, specifically going into details about Jihoon’s image. They talked about the positive attributes that people usually attributed him with- you rolled your eyes- and then it started to talk about you and-

You couldn’t help the way your aggravation at having to read this disappeared from your face. This article wasn’t there to slander the both of you. Instead, it zeroed in on Jihoon himself. Going into reports of Jihoon making you- someone notorious for being kind and patient- suddenly angry and argumentative. Whoever wrote the article clearly had a bias towards you. It painted you as someone who could do no wrong, and Jihoon as a monster for having gotten on your bad side.

You cleared your throat, feeling suddenly pale.

“So-”

“I lied when I said it would ruin both of your careers. It won’t. In fact, it might boost your career. It will solely ruin Jihoon’s career. There are key witnesses in this talking about your interactions, blaming him for each and every one.”

Sungsoo turned his computer away from you.

“I know you hate Jihoon,” he said. “But I’m hoping that this article that depicts you as this perfect idol has the right idea of you.”

Your brain felt fuzzy.

“Has the right idea of me...?”

“If this article gets out it’s over for Jihoon,” Sungsoo said. “Are you willing to ruin a man’s career over some petty feud?”

-

You stood in front of the door to Jihoon’s studio, feeling like kicking the door in frustration. Instead of doing that you took a deep breath and knocked lightly on the door. There was only a second before the door popped open and you were met with the face of a tall, disheveled man. When he saw you his lips turned up into a mischievous smile.

“Your favorite person is here!” He called back over his shoulder. He looked back at you, his eyes full of light. “Hope you weren’t hoping for a fun date night with Jihoon. He’s working.”

You smiled.

“Hi Mingyu,” you greeted softly. As you spoke, he opened the door wide enough for you to slip into the studio. You had never been in Jihoon’s new studio before. You had been in his old studio a few times. He had helped produce a few songs for your group when you first debuted. But with you and his growing feud, your group began to work with Bumzu a little bit more closely, so you had never seen his new one.

It gave you an overall cozy feeling. There was a slightly messy area clearly just for his group mates to hang out. You only said messy because of the stray blanket on the couch, a switch on the little coffee table and the takeout trash scattered across the floor. The actual studio aspect of the room was organized chaos. There were instruments strewn about and papers littered over the countertops.

Jihoon sat in the middle of the mess, his hand buried in his hair in frustration. You cleared your throat, and he finally turned around. A smile crossed his lips.

“You’re here,” he said. You smiled back at him, and crossed the room so that you could press a kiss to the corner of his lips. In some ways, kissing him like that was better. You felt disgusted every time your lips touched. But the aspect of kissing the corner of his lips felt more intimate and personal, and you hated that almost as much.

“Ooohhhh,” Mingyu teased. “Look at him getting all gummy.”

Aggravation crossed Jihoon’s face- for once not aimed at you.

“Get out Mingyu, we have things to do.”

Mingyu’s teasing grin dropped immediately.

“No!” He protested. “I’ve been quiet!”

“You made a mess,” Jihoon disagreed.

Mingyu pouted, turning his attention to you now.

“You can convince him right? I just want to play my switch and hang out! Everyone else is busy.”

You had always liked Kim Mingyu. He had a really good heart. He got accused pretty often of doing things he shouldn’t. You couldn’t name the amount of times that you had heard that he had done something wrong. Always accused of leading girls on but you had never seen him like that. He was just social and desperate for attention.

If you were willing to pretend for the next couple hours that you were in love with Jihoon you would certainly barter for his company in the room. You knew how much he loved to just be in the same room with people he cared about.

But, unfortunately, you weren’t willing to pretend that you liked Jihoon for that long.

“I don’t get a lot of alone time with Jihoon,” you said apologetically. Mingyu gave one more helpless look to Jihoon who didn’t step down from his earlier stance. Mingyu sighed.

“Fine,” he said softly. He began to pick up his things, making a point of sulking while doing it. The whole show kind of made you want to laugh. You had known that when it came to the other members of Seventeen he was clingy, but you never realized he was this clingy. He reminded you a bit of Ai. She was always willing to do anything just to be in the same room as one of them.

“Bye Mingyu,” you called out as he walked out of the room. The minute the door was closed you hummed contently. “I like him.”

Jihoon turned in his chair, facing his computer again.

“Something we can agree on,” he said softly. “Anyways, this song.”

He gestured towards a chair near his and you took a seat, leaning forward to look at his computer.

“I was thinking maybe I could write it and produce it and then we can just pretend we did it together,” he commented. ”Better than actually working on it together.”

You rolled your eyes.

“My fans will notice if I don’t help,” you turned down immediately. “I don’t want to help you out but Jeonghan and Sungsoo say we aren’t being convincing. This has to be convincing. Besides I don’t want my name on something you did.”

Jihoon glanced over at you.

“So what do you propose?” He asked.

“We do what Sungsoo said,” you replied with a shrug. He scoffed, but you leaned forward. “So, let’s talk about this song. A romance?”

“It would have to be,” Jihoon agreed, but you noted that his words were a little forced. “What are you thinking?”

“Something light? Pop-y like your stuff used to be,” you suggested. “Kind of like my groups stuff is right now. First love type things.”

“First love is overused and Seventeen alone has outgrown the concept. We’re too old to write about first love again,” Jihoon denied immediately. “Besides, we aren’t first love. It doesn’t make sense for us to sing about first love.”

You felt a pressure in your chest as Jihoon shut down your idea but you screamed at yourself to stay civil. He wasn’t trying to be contrary, he was just trying to be convincing. You were both just trying to be convincing.

“Okay, no first love,” you agreed, unable to hold back the bite in your voice. “So what idea do you have genius?”

“Anything is better than first love. What are we in kindergarten?” He retorted.

You knew full well that he knew that a huge part of your groups concept was first love. Your whole group was to mirror that of the perfect fantasy. Four perfect, sweet idols that are marketed in such a way that you could almost genuinely believe that you had gone to school with them and had once upon a time almost fell in love with.

“Saying anything is better isn’t coming up with an actual idea that is better,” you said shortly. “Our song could be about how our love is so powerful it feels like first love all over again.”

“First love hardly ever actually comes true.”

You laughed.

“Who was it that said: ‘Let’s not believe that first love never comes true’?” You argued back.

“Oh I see what this is now,” Jihoon replied dryly. “You’re a fan huh? What were you in love with me and then you got angry because you realized I would never like you?”

“Just because I know the lyrics of one of your most popular songs doesn’t mean that I am a fan,” you snapped back, your voice rising.

“No need to get embarrassed,” Jihoon cooed, leaning towards you with a mischievous expression on his face. He knew that he was winning this argument, he could see in your eyes how hard you were trying to stay civil. “You must secretly be thrilled that we are in this situation. Finally you get to see what it would be like to date me.”

You stood up suddenly, the chair you had been in falling to the ground at the sudden action.

“God you are so fucking conceited,” you blurted. “The whole world doesn’t revolve around you Jihoon.”

Before Jihoon could respond- and you knew he wanted to, you grabbed your phone.

“Write whatever you want today it will be a waste of time. We are writing this song together so get your head out of your ass and actually work with me.” You turned away from him, storming out of the room before he could say so much as another word. You willed yourself to calm down as you walked back to your place but your whole body was on fire. Where did he get off accusing you of being in love with him? With him?

The statement itself was too ironic for you to even entertain. You were, after all, the only one who saw Jihoon for who he was. Conceited, spoiled, cocky.

You shook the negative feelings off of you but they clung to you like glue.

You decided it didn’t even matter to cool down and you just walked into your dorm, slamming the door closed behind you. Ai’s head popped up from the couch.

“Hey,” she said, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Bad day?”

You turned to her, giving her a frustrated look.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

That didn’t push away her confusion.

“I thought you were hanging out with Jihoon today?”

Yeah, that was the problem.

“He’s busy,” you replied with a wave of your hand. “Don’t start dating a workaholic. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

Ai sighed, falling back on the couch.

“Dating itself sounds like such a dream,” she whined. “You’re so lucky you managed to find someone like Jihoon.”

You didn’t like lying to your group members. You four were supposed to be each other’s best friends in this world. The three people you could trust the most were the ones in your group. You told one another everything. That alone should have caused suspicion in Ai, Mari, and Chae, and yet they loved you so much that they just accepted the news and your half-hearted explanation as to why you had never told them that you two were dating in the first place.

You felt like you were letting them down.

“You’ll find someone,” you said softly. “Who knows, maybe the love of your life is just around the corner.”

Ai sighed dreamily.

“Maybe.”

You slipped your shoes off as a yawn ripped through your body. Arguing with Jihoon always did take the energy right out of you.

“I’m going to sleep, don’t stay up too late Ai.”

“Don’t worry I won’t!” She called back, and with that you retreated into your room.

-

Asshole of the Year: If we have to write this song you might as well come over today.

Try not to be so sensitive this time

You groaned as you let your eyes trail up to the time. Eight in the morning... You hated being an idol.

After finally dragging yourself out of bed and getting dressed you made your way into the kitchen to find the others already up. Chae was standing at the stove cooking what smelled like pancakes. You let a content hum vibrate through your body and you pulled yourself a chair next to Nari. She glanced over at you, a teasing smile on her lips.

“Up last as always,” Nari commented. “You would think after all those punishments during our trainee days you would get up earlier.”

You shrugged and reached over to her plate, grabbing a grape from it.

“Can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” you said, plopping the grape in your mouth.

“Good morning Sunshine,” Chae said to you. You smiled at her brightly as she brought you a plate of pancakes.

“Thank you, Chae,” you said pleasantly. She hummed and picked up her own plate of food before joining them at the table.

“Chae was just saying that she thinks we should go to the gym more,” Nari said. You hummed through a mouthful of food.

“You think?”

Chae nodded surely, her fork bouncing in the air.

“Just to define our features a little more. By next year we should be finally adopting a bit more of a mature concept and it’ll be much healthier if we start now rather than later.”

Nari nodded her agreement, her cheeks stuffed with food, but Ai pouted.

“But our fans like Chae’s chubby cheeks,” she whined. You smiled and reached over to Chae, pinching her cheeks teasingly.

“We all love her chubby cheeks,” you said pleasantly. Chae just swatted your hands away. “Chae’s not saying we have to she’s just suggesting we do.”

“It doesn’t hurt to try,” Nari agreed after trying her food.

“What do you think?” Chae asked. The gym in an hour?”

You sighed, your thoughts tracing back to what Jihoon had texted you this morning.

“I can’t this morning,” you said, trying your best not to look too disappointed. “Jihoon and I convinced the company to let us put out a song and we agreed to work on it today.”

Ai let a dramatic pout cover her lips.

“You’ve changed!” She protested. “Choosing him over us.”

Even as she spoke, you were getting up, your food already finished.

“I’ll be there tomorrow, I promise,” you said. There was a shared displeased look among your roommates but you did your best to brush it off with a smile.

“Fighting!” You said, and then quickly ushered yourself out the door.

Today on your way to Jihoon’s studio you made sure to wear a baggy shirt that you had been seen in a million times, and you pulled on Jihoon’s hat (which you still hadn’t returned to him). You made a point not to mask up, and kept your head up so that your chance of being caught on your way to Jihoon’s studio were higher. You knew that there were always a lot of people waiting to catch people’s pictures at the studio, and just as you had hoped, you found yourself half covering your face on your way in just to make it seem like you didn’t want to be caught.

When you got to Jihoon’s studio you decided that being hesitant was a waste of time. It was nearly 9:30 at this point… Too early.

You knocked on the door and after only a second you heard a soft: “Come in.” echo from inside.

You pushed open the door and set your bag on the ground. Jihoon glanced over at you from where he was seated. He pressed his lips together at the sight of you.

“Round two?” You asked him as you went to take a seat where you had the day before. Your chair was still on the floor.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

Working with Jihoon was like trying to write on a chalkboard with black chalk. There was no point because absolutely nothing was going to come from it.

You two spent ages going back and forth about what the general song concept should be. When you couldn’t agree on just one thing you both decided to try and decide what the song should sound like, but even there you two were butting heads.

“I’m the producer, why won’t you say yes to my suggestions?”

“You’re not the only one who knows about producing Jihoon. I don’t like the sound of this, choose a different one.”

Lunch came and went and still nothing had been agreed upon. All you both knew for sure was that you two were going to write a song together.

Which meant you were practically at ground zero.

“This is pointless,” you groaned dropping your head on the table “You’re impossible to work with.”

Jihoon grunted his displeasure.

“Don’t slam your head on my desk.”

You peeked up at him, with a dumb smile on your face.

“Don’t want me to hurt myself?”

“Don’t want you to break my equipment,” he said back. “It costs more than you’ll ever make.”

You scoffed.

“Right I forgot. Lee Jihoon, Pledis’ own crown prince, yeah?” You said dryly. You sighed. “God, you’re so spoiled.”

You could see Jihoon clench his fists from under the table so you sat back up.

“Look. Concept. You don’t want first love? Fine. You don’t like honeymoon stage? Whatever.”

You racked your brain for something you two hadn’t thought of yet.

“What about a couple on the brink of a breakup.”

Jihoon opened his mouth, surely to shoot you down, but the words never came. He closed his mouth.

“A couple on the brink of a breakup,” he echoed. He seemed to ponder the idea, much more heavily than any of the other ideas you had offered up. “Is that convincing?”

You hummed.

“It gives off the air of a couple that has been together for a while,” you mumbled. “And it makes us seem a bit more real. We’re handling heavy topics. As long as we make it seem like we have some sort of resolution by the end... I’d say it’s relatable to long-term couples.”

Jihoon’s hand twitched over his keyboard.

“It’s not awful,” he said.

You felt your heart pick up its pace for just a second. As much as you hated him, Jihoon was a legend in the song-writing world. People praised him for how much he had been able to accomplish in such a short amount of time, never releasing a song that didn’t do well.

It felt exciting to get his approval.

“It’s a bit more mature than I would expect from someone like you.”

And there it was.

“Okay, what story are we trying to convey here?” He asked, changing the topic before you could start an argument with him. “What are our lyrics?”

Lyrics came about as good as one could expect. Thirty minutes and one argument later and you were storming out of the studio just like you had the first time. This time as you barged out you about ran into someone.

Your eyes widened and you opened your mouth to apologize but the words died on your lips when you saw who it was.

“Jeonghan?”

He didn’t look surprised to see you at all.

“Hungry?”

-

You and Jeonghan set up in a convenience shop not far from the studio and the company. A place you two came often as a result of the two of you never haven gotten caught there before.

You didn’t say a word to him until your instant ramen was ready and half hanging out of your mouth.

“We made some progress.”

Jeonghan sighed.

“Don’t eat with your mouth open,” he murmured. “Were you raised in a cave?”

You swallowed the rest of your noodles and stuck your tongue out at Jeonghan.

“It’s good you two are getting along,” Jeonghan hummed. You couldn’t help but notice his attention was focused on you- not his noodles.

“We’re not getting along. We made progress.” You took another large bite of your noodles and before fully swallowing them you added: “There’s a very big difference between those to distinctions.”

You swallowed your noodles.

“I just don’t get what’s up with him. He’s always like that with me. So stuck up and unapologetic.”

“That’s just how Jihoon comes off,” Jeonghan protested. “He’s like that with most of the people he doesn’t know.”

Jeonghan didn’t often defend Jihoon to you. Mostly because it was next to pointless. You had to admit your distaste for Jihoon was somewhat childish. You didn’t really listen to the good things people said about him. It just went in one ear and out the other.

“That’s bullshit Jeonghan,” you said. “To the other members he’s polite and conversational when he needs to be. But with me? He never even used to meet my eyes.”

Jeonghan looked away from you, a frustrated expression covering his face.

“Yeah but that wasn’t because he hated you.”

“Then what else could it be?” You challenged. “Because it sure felt like he hated me when he complimented everyone else in Starlight other then me.”

“He clearly got tongue tied,” Jeonghan argued.

“Because he had nothing good to say!” You said right back.

“That’s not what it is,” Jeonghan said. “You just don’t get it. You don’t know Jihoon like I do. You don’t know him at all.”

“What is there to know?” You asked. “All I need to know is that from the moment his eyes laid on me he hated me.”

Silence fell over Jeonghan. He still looked frustrated. He still clearly wanted to argue but he just looked away from you, down at his untouched noodles.

“Sure.”

At first you thought maybe he was finally frustrated by your distaste of his friend, but no… There was something else there. Something he was holding back.

“Jeonghan,” you started leaning towards the aforementioned boy. “Is there something you know that I don’t know?”

Jeonghan’s eyes flitted back to yours and he laughed.

“What would I know that is relevant to your relationship with Jihoon that I would hold back from you?” He asked you. It was convincing, for a second you actually almost dropped the topic. But there was something you caught in his eyes. Something that told you something wasn’t quite right.

“I don’t know. What are you not telling me?”

Jeonghan was not any easy person to beat in a battle of the wits. If Jeonghan wanted to keep something a secret there wasn’t anybody who could get him to come out with whatever he was hiding.

But something you also knew about Jeonghan was that if he had a secret that you wouldn’t be able to get out of him you wouldn’t know he had a secret anyways. You were his best friend. If anyone could get it out of him, it was you.

“Look you hate Jihoon, he hates you. Let’s move on,” Jeonghan said. You continued to stare at Jeonghan, watching as he feigned interest in his noodles. He picked up his chopsticks and toyed with the noodles.

“Jeonghan,” you said softly. “I won’t tell anyone. Come on. I’m your best friend.”

“I’ve been friends with Jihoon for much longer than I’ve been friends with you.”

You would have pouted had it not been for how revealing that statement was.

“So it’s a secret about Jihoon specifically. Something that he wouldn’t want to get out?” You pressed.

“It’s not my place to say,” Jeonghan replied but you could hear the strain in his voice. He was starting to crack under the pressure.

“Please Jeonghan. Who knows, maybe it will change my opinion of him even just a little.”

That was probably the biggest lie you could have told in that moment, and you knew that Jeonghan knew it was a lie, but despite that it ended up being the thing that broke Jeonghan’s resolve.

“It’s just...” He sighed. “I really shouldn’t tell you this.”

You smiled at him innocently, waiting for him to continue.

“Jihoon treated you differently then the others. Yes. But did you ever think about the things he did in a way separate of him hating you?”

Your eyebrows strewn slightly in confusion.

“Separate...?”

“He couldn’t make eye contact with you, yeah? He didn’t talk to you- in fact went out of his way to not to talk to you. He didn’t like interacting with you, he never knew what to say to you when he did talk to you-”

“Get to the point Jeonghan,” you interrupted. “I don’t need a reminder of how shitty he treats me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Jeonghan continued, giving you a sharp look. “At least he didn’t used to.”

You scoffed.

“Then what could have possibly warranted the way he treated me?” You demanded. Jeonghan’s expression softened, and he shrugged.

“Jihoon used to have a crush on you.”

You stared at Jeonghan, looking for any trace on his face that he was joking. His expression stayed scarily serious.

“No, he didn’t,” you said pointedly. Jeonghan didn’t back down.

“Yes, he did.”

“No, he didn’t,” you argued. “He-”

You scrambled in your memory to find any behavior that Jihoon had exhibited early on- Something that proved that he had hated you from the beginning, but you were drawing blanks. Now that you thought about it, you had been the most confrontational to begin with. He hardly ever started things with you. He just fought back when you said something to him that was rude.

“I...” You trailed off. “He never said anything.” You looked up at Jeonghan. “You never said anything.”

“It wasn’t my place,” Jeonghan said with a shrug. “Besides you dug your own grave. I’ve never seen you lose your patience with someone as fast as you lose your patience with Jihoon.”

Finally, Jeonghan actually turned his attention to the noodles in front of him. You should have felt satisfied too, but instead you felt this heavy pit in your stomach that just wasn’t sitting right with you. You forced yourself to turn your attention back to your noodles, and tried to ignore what was bothering you.

-

Sleep was impossible and you knew exactly why. You couldn’t stop thinking about what Jeonghan had said.

Jihoon had liked you when you two first met?

You replayed all your interactions over and over again in your head and you hated that with both conclusions it made sense. If Jihoon was as introverted as everyone said it would make sense for him to be less extroverted towards you. If he was nervous he would naturally avoid you and- God, you hated to say it- Jihoon had always been a good idol. He kept his nose clean, stayed out of scandals. He was probably doing his best to avoid a dating one when he liked you.

You flipped over in your bed, smothering your face in your pillow.

God, wasn’t that why you hated him in the first place? Lee Jihoon. Mr. Perfect. Mr. Do no wrong. Everyone’s favorite golden child and you despised him for it. His fans fluffed his ego, his group mates boosted it, and this dumb company treated him like some untouchable man.

You groaned loudly.

What kind of reasons were those to hate someone? You hated him because people liked him? Because people believed in his abilities and their actions reflected that?

People pumped you up; Your fans talked about you like you were a literal angel from Heaven and nobody hated you for it.

Well, there was no one that outwardly hated you for it.

You turned back around staring blankly at the dark ceiling in front of you. You didn’t have time for some stupid existential crisis about stupid Lee Jihoon.

You hated him. You hated him. Nothing was going to change that.

And that’s why you told yourself. Again and again and again until finally your alarm went off and you had gotten absolutely no sleep at all.

For once you were up first of everyone in the Starlight dorm. You tied your hair back, putting on workout clothes and then wandered into the kitchen. You thought the least you could do if you were up this early was make breakfast.

It only took ten minutes before Chae made her way into the kitchen. Her appearance matched yours- hair back and workout clothes adorned. Her eyes widened when she saw you at the stove, taking in you and the sizzling eggs.

“You’re up early.”

You shrugged.

“What can I say? I didn’t sleep.”

She nodded.

“Makes sense.”

Chae came into the kitchen sliding past you to open the fridge. She peered at its contents, a hum leaving her mouth.

“We should go shopping,” she commented. Despite the fact she wasn’t look at you, you nodded.

“I noticed we’re running a bit low on supplies,” you agreed. She pulled out of the fridge and brandished a carton of cherries.

“Want to finish these with me?”

When Ai and Nari wandered into the room you were just finishing the eggs, and Chae was sitting on the kitchen counter, a empty cartoon of cherries and a napkin full of cherry pits the only thing between the two of you. Neither Ai and Nari looked bothered by that. “You’re already up?” Nari asked you.

“And you cooked breakfast!” Ai piped up. You shrugged off-handedly.

“Have to pick up the slack somehow.”

You were starting to wish you had never prodded Jeonghan to tell you Jihoon’s secret in the first place.

It was easy to hate someone that hated you too. That, in itself, gave you a justifiable reason to hate them. If for nothing else, for defense. But now- Knowing that to start he had never hated you at all you felt wrong. You felt mean and it was all you could think about.

From breakfast, to your workout with the others, to your dance practice, vocal lesson, and then all the way to Jihoon’s dumb studio to finish out the day you were replaying all of your interactions with him, over and over again until it made you dizzy to think about.

How had you been that mean to him all the time? Why had no one stopped you?

In your knowledge you had never had someone like you in a romantic way and the one time someone did you had decided you hated him?

You couldn’t help it. You felt bad.

You walked into Jihoon’s studio; this time failing to knock. You slowly cracked open the door and pulled it shut behind you. When Jihoon glanced back and saw you a grimace crossed his face.

“You shouldn’t just walk in here like you own the place,” he grumbled. You didn’t respond to him, you just walked over to him, which brought his attention up to your head where his hat was sitting. “And what have I said about touching my-”

Before he could finish you had plopped the hat securely on Jihoon’s head, doing your best not to look him in the eye. You wanted to apologize to him for all you did, but you still couldn’t shake this burning feeling in your chest when he talked to you like that.

Was it deserved?

… Apparently. But regardless it hurt your pride.

“What’s gotten into you today?” Jihoon asked. His eyes wouldn’t tear away from you. You bit your tongue. Be nice.

“Nothing,” you mumbled. “Shouldn’t we get to writing this song?”

Jihoon apparently disliked you being quiet more than he disliked you being mean. A smile crossed his lips and he leaned towards you.

“I never thought I’d see the day,” he said in awe.

You looked at him.

“See what day?”

“The day you finally shut up.”

You may have been apologetic for how you had behaved before but you certainly didn’t feel bad now.

“Are we going to get something done with the song today or are you going to waste your time in another dumb argument with me?” You demanded. Jihoon raised an amused eyebrow at your outburst.

“There you are,” he hummed. “Thought you had started to see me as a human or something.”

You scoffed.

“Can we focus so I can get out of here faster?” You asked bluntly. You grabbed a piece of paper and tapped a pencil to it. “Lyrics.”

There was one thing that you two could agree with when it came to these lyrics. The song was going to echo that of Shawn Mendes and Camillo Cabello’s song I Know What You Did Last Summer. An overlapping duet showing both sides of the story and being able to match similar emotions between the two during the chorus.

“We both have to agree about how the two feel about each other,” you said softly.

“I’m not the one afraid to agree with you on something,” Jihoon retorted. You took a large breath in and then let it out.

“I think that despite feeling the pull to stray from one another they ultimately love one another.”

“Pull to stray from one another?” Jihoon asked with a wrinkle of his nose. You sighed heavily.

“What’s wrong with that?”

He shrugged it off.

“Just sounds like a toxic relationship.”

“I never said it was going to be a healthy one,” you retorted. “Besides it’s not toxic sometimes people think and do stupid things they don’t mean when they are desperate. I think the two are desperate for one another’s love and something is drawing them apart and causing them to want to do things they shouldn’t.”

Jihoon stared at you.

“You’ve clearly never been in love with someone before,” he commented. Your face blazed red.

“Lee Jihoon I swear-”

There was a knock at the door and as quick as you had been to raise your voice at Jihoon you pushed yourself into Jihoon’s lap, wrapping your legs around his torso.

“Come in!” You called, making sure to make your voice ultra-giggly. When it was Jeonghan who opened the door, you breathed out in relief.

“I fucking thought-”

You stopped yourself from talking and instead focused on climbing out of Jihoon’s lap, making a point to dramatically wipe yourself off as if to get his germs off. He rolled his eyes.

“You climbed into my lap, may I remind you.”

You shot him an unamused glare and turned to Jeonghan.

“What are you doing here?” You asked him. He shrugged.

“I was bored,” he commented. “How’s the song going?”

You and Jihoon both glanced at each other, and that glance must have told Jeonghan everything he needed to know.

“You two are hopeless,” he said with a sigh.

Dates with Jihoon weren’t getting easier, in fact being around him at all wasn’t getting any easier. Every time that you tried to just go back to the way things were- the more you tried to find amusement in teasing him, or say that something he did was stuck-up like you used to it just died in your mouth.

You had been too hard on him in the past. He wasn’t that bad.

You hated to admit that. You wanted to go back to just blindly hating him, but you were starting to see him differently than you were used to.

Your chest heaved up and down as you slid down the wall of the practice room, placing your hand dramatically over your chest.

“Wow, you are giving up first?” Chae teased, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Usually you’re the one pushing the rest of us to do better.”

You gave her half a glare.

“I was up late with Jihoon last night. No wonder he’s always so tired. He was still in the studio when I left. Does he do anything but work?” You asked. Chae laughed.

“People always say that he’s a working machine. Haven’t you heard the jokes that he would never have a dating scandal because he’s always locked up in his studio?”

You had heard people saying he would never be caught in a dating scandal but you had never realized that was why. Your brain scrambled back to all the times people had muttered it and you had just completely ignored the second part of the statement, mumbling that clearly he was heartless for never giving his friends any of his time.

You had actually learned in the last few days that Jihoon made a lot of time for his friends. Whenever you came over he was kicking Mingyu out of the studio for it, and it wasn’t uncommon for one of the other boys (Soonyoung, mostly) to come in while you two were working to offer you two food. Jihoon had even once ended you two’s brainstorming session (incessant arguing) to go and have a dinner with the entire rest of the group.

You had always thought he was cold to other people- Another reason you had disliked him, but now you were starting to think that had been a rash conclusion to come to. Observations when your groups interacted (now that you had to actively pretend like you didn’t hate him, you were forced to recognize things he did that didn’t make you angry) had brought you to the startling realization that he wasn’t cold- he was just as Jeonghan had hinted at. He was shy. An introvert. He just didn’t really open up to people unless it was his boys.

This was easy, so much easier before. It was fucking Lee Jihoon. You didn’t like Lee Jihoon.

You and Jihoon walked, hand-in-hand down the sidewalk, both holding your silence as you headed to the restaurant you were crashing today. Normally the silence would have your blood boiling but this time you were filled with something you were getting uncomfortably used to... Guilt.

“You know, this is stupid,” you mumbled. Jihoon glanced at you.

“You’re the one always saying we have to be convincing. You think I want to hold your hand?”

You suppressed your urge to scream. Your anger towards him at the statement being consumed by your guilt.

“It’s not that. It’s stupid that we are always dead silent when we’re hanging out,” you said. “What’s the point in that? How long are we going to be fake dating?”

Jihoon was silent for a few moments.

“Exactly. I know all we do is argue but we might as well... Talk.”

Another few seconds passed before Jihoon replied.

“You want us to be friends?”

This time there was an edge missing in Jihoon’s voice. You felt like his tone had become softer than you were used to. His usually curtness gone. It felt, sincere. You forced out a laugh.

“No,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself. ”God, no, I just think that we could be like... I don’t know enemies that can confide in one another.”

God, that sounded stupid.

“Okay.”

Jihoon shrugged.

“Better than silence I guess.”

Unfortunately, he didn’t start the conversation. You two walked a few steps as you forced yourself to start the conversation.

You couldn’t help the way you internally cursed Jihoon for being entitled, thinking that you needed to start the conversation, but even as you did you criticized yourself for the thought. Why did you blindly dislike him so much? Was it just because you were embarrassed to have been wrong all this time?

“Uh, how was your day?” You started. He looked at you.

“Creative,” he commented. That in itself made you want to take back the question but before you could he was talking: “It was fine.”

You waited for more and when he didn’t continue you felt the fingers on your free hand curl into a ball.

“Tell me what you did today,” you suggested.

“Uh, slept in until Seungkwan woke me up for practice,” his tone of his voice was annoyed but a glance at him told you he didn’t really mind it. “Practice was fine. There were cameras so Seokmin and Soonyoung were goofing off a lot.”

“Cameras at practice?” You asked.

“For behind the scenes stuff,” Jihoon elaborated. You nodded in recognition, falling silent again so Jihoon could go on. “Then Mingyu wanted to play some games, but I had to work on music…”

He trailed off and a smile crossed his lips.

“But sometimes Mingyu wins so we played games until I had to come here.”

It took a second to process what he had said.

“You didn’t work today?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowing. He hummed.

“No.”

He didn’t elaborate on it, making it seem like it was something that happened often but knowing what you knew about him you didn’t think it was. Still, you didn’t want to press it or call him a liar. You had to stop jumping to conclusions with him. You didn’t know him.

“What did you do today?” Jihoon asked, seeming to want to shift the attention away from himself. You sighed.

“Chae wants us to start working out in the morning,” you said. “So I have to wake up early and go work out and it’s so exhausting.”

Jihoon laughed.

“Ah, can’t handle a few push ups?” He teased. Usually when he said things like that to you there was an edge to his voice, but this time it wasn’t there.

“Look, I’m no Wonwoo,” you replied. “I wasn’t built to workout.”

You let a smile cross your face, one that was actually a little real.

“Today I really just spent time with Starlight. I mean, no cameras on us but we had practice and things. Felt like I was a trainee all over again.”

“There’s something to be said about our trainee days,” Jihoon said. “I am glad to have debuted but we spent so much time pushing for debut that we didn’t really appreciate how fun it is to be a trainee.”

You looked over at him to see a contemplative expression on his face. You turned away from him, warmth crawling up your face.

“Yeah,” you agreed. You looked up, relieved when you saw your destination. “Great we can stop holding hands.”

You pulled your hand away from his abruptly, and picked up your walking pace.

“Let’s get this date over fast, I have to be up early again tomorrow.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes at your sudden behavior. You heard him murmur something under his breath but you weren’t sure what. You just focused on reminding yourself that just because you shouldn’t hate him didn’t mean you needed to like him as a person.

Indifference was okay.

-

“How’s this?” You held up the paper you had been scribbling on, a few lines scripting out how you thought the first verse (your verse) of the song should go. Jihoon fell silent as he read over the lyrics.

“You know...” He trailed off and you watched his eyes read it again. “This is actually pretty good. I was actually going for a similar idea in my verse. The concept of the relationship feeling so broke the temptation of cheating is present.”

“Oh, can I read what you have?”

Jihoon nodded and slid the paper towards you, his eyes still on the lyrics.

“The halls of this house echo when you aren’t around. When I’m at the club I get the attention I crave,” he read a loud. “I really like this part but maybe omit the club for something else? The club takes me out of it for some reason.”

“I like the club,” you replied. “It’s like I’m going radically out of my way to get attention. Different than just going to dinner with friends and feeling tempted there. Only desperate people go to clubs.”

Jihoon nodded.

“Maybe.”

“It’s interesting to compare your anger to a flame,” you commented as you read through his verse. “A flame is so often akin to desire, do you think that would be confusing?”

Jihoon blinked.

“Maybe.” He was silent for a few beats, seeming to try to think about what else to put there. “I like the idea though, that thinking about you while I’m at work not only unlocks my desire for you but also others. It shows I still have affection for you even when I am pulling away.”

You didn’t respond just ran your eyes over the words.

“Let me-” Jihoon leaned closed to you, his shoulder brushing yours. Normally you would yell at him for getting so uncomfortably close to you but after all the time you two had spent holding hands and sitting close to each other on “dates” you had gotten used to being close to him. “Here at the end I’ll tag on I look in those eyes and I forget what I promised to you. It repeats how you finish your verse and we can segue both verses into a pre-chorus which we can alternatively sing.”

As he spoke he grabbed your paper.

“Something that echoes with itself. Like...” He thought about it for a few moments. “I wish it wasn’t this way and I echo How did we get here?”

For some reason, your mind immediately filled what you thought should be next.

“Oh! Do you miss my touch? And you echo It’s been too long to say.”

Jihoon didn’t argue with you like you had briefly thought he would. Instead, he immediately began to scribble what you had said down.

“That’s good,” he praised, and again your heart sped up a little at the words of affirmation.

“I want to feel bad but there’s nothing there,” he continued.

“Wish you were here,” you added. Jihoon stopped writing after he wrote what you had said. His eyebrows strewn in concentration as he read over the verses you two had written along with the chorus. As he read over it, his pencil bounced between his fingers.

You were so on edge about what he was going to say, you were afraid to speak.

“This is good,” he finally said. “Maybe we’ll think it’s worse tomorrow, I think we should take a break and come back to it.”

Even though Jihoon was often trying to cut your brain storming sessions short, you felt a little disappointed. You thought that you two were doing good bouncing off of each other, but you didn’t complain. Anytime away from Jihoon was good in itself.

You nodded and began to collect your things.

… Right?

“So, I guess we have to work together on this again tomorrow?” You said, forcing a sigh out of your lips. Jihoon didn’t look at you- God, you hated when he didn’t look at you- And instead set aside the lyrics you two had been working on to turn his attention back to his computer.

“Whenever you want.”

And before you could say more, he was slipping his headphones on over his ears, and had turned his attention completely to his work. You watched him for a moment, noticing the way his entire demeanor changed now that he was able to work alone again. His shoulders slacked, his attention turned... You felt like you could start screaming and he wouldn’t even register the action he was already so focused on his work.

You had always admire hard working people. You had spent so long chasing something to be passionate about that people who knew what they were meant to do in their lives made you something akin to envious.

You forced yourself to turn your attention away from Jihoon again, murmuring a goodbye to a boy who wasn’t listening as you slid out the door.

-

You and Ai giggled as you snuck down the halls of the dorm to the community kitchen. She clicked the door open and you shushed her as you two pushed into the room. You rushed over to the pantries and slid open the door, starting to grab a few of the snacks from the pantry and shove them into Ai’s arms.

“Soda, please grab soda,” Ai hissed. Your mouth dropped into an ‘o’ and you ducked down, trying to find four cans of soda. As you scrambled to grab all the items required for a well-deserved movie night with your absolutely favorite group of people in the world you heard voices.

You and Ai turned to each other, eyes wide.

“Shit,” you mumbled. You grabbed a grocery bag and thrust it towards Ai. She immediately knew what you wanted and dumped all of the things in her arms into the bag. Just before the door opened you and Ai turned to face it, the bag stored safely behind you in your hands. The door opened and you were surprised to find a familiar mop of hair dip into the room.

“Oh, Jihoon,” you said suddenly unable to hide your astonishment. Jihoon’s eyes widened a little at the sight of you.

“Hey-” His eyes flitted towards Ai. “What are you two doing here?”

He gestured for you to come greet him but you just smiled at him, pretending to not notice as to keep the bag in your hands a secret.

“We were just walking around, thinking about snacking,” you said innocently. Ai nodded next to you over exaggeratedly. Behind Jihoon another face ducked in- Soonyoung, and you and Ai forced even bigger smiles on your faces.

“Oh, hi Soonyoung,” you greeted ducking your head. He smiled back at you.

“You two are up late,” he commented. “Jihoon said that you have workouts early usually, not planning to get much sleep?”

You couldn’t help but be stuck on that.

Jihoon said that you…

That was such an odd statement for you to hear coming out of anyone’s mouth really. The thought that Jihoon talked about you in a positive manner, the thought that he would say something about you in such a casual manner as such as talking about how you workout in the mornings.

Your nose scrunched.

“Jihoon said...” You trailed off, despite the fact your voice was hardly loud enough to be heard in the first place. After a few more seconds of you trying to figure out what it meant that Jihoon had said that to Soonyoung Ai was elbowing you in the side.

You blinked.

“Oh, uh, tomorrow’s our break day,” you said. “So we don’t have to get up as early.”

Soonyoung seemed a little taken aback by your statement (that being said, so did Jihoon but you were trying not to look at him), but nodded regardless.

“That’s nice.”

Silence fell between the two groups and your mind raced as you tried to figure out how to get you and Ai out of this kitchen.

“What are you two doing?” You asked. “Jihoon’s not spending the night at the studio?”

“Don’t worry I dragged him out today,” Soonyoung said with a wink. “Jealous of his relationship with his music?”

You let a very serious expression cross your face.

“Extremely,” you said. You forced yourself to look at Jihoon, a pout crossing your face. “I see you’ll leave the studio to go on a date with Soonyoung, but not with me.”

Jihoon’s briefly let an air of surprise cross through his eyes.

“I’ll make time for you if you want,” he said softly. “I didn’t know you wanted to go on more dates.”

God, you two were doing a great job at surprising one another tonight. You took a sharp breath, your eyes darting back to the ground.

“We should probably leave you two,” you said, giving Soonyoung an apologetic smile. “Don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding,” Soonyoung assured. “We’re just getting Jihoon’s favorite kind of noodles.”

He hesitated and for a second time stopped. You could feel the air in the room go stiff as everyone in the room waited for you to fill in the details of what Jihoon’s favorite kind of noodles were. Your mind raced, sure that you had heard it before.

“I keep telling you that black bean noodles are not a dessert food,” you cooed teasingly. A small smile crossed Jihoon’s lips.

“You won’t let me have anything will you?” He asked.

It was funny, how you two had fallen into this odd relationship. One where you two were able to act so much like you actually did have a relationship with each other. To you (you couldn’t say if this was the same for Jihoon at all) your interactions still felt clunky at best. It was like the things that you tried to make cute with one another were so forced that it was obvious that you were faking.

But despite that feeling an excited sound left Soonyoung’s mouth. He threw his arm around Jihoon’s shoulder and teasingly rubbed Jihoon’s head.

“You want your significant other to feed you instead of me?”

“They’re busy,” Jihoon negated. His eyes turned back to yours. “I’ll see you soon at the studio.”

You nodded.

Finally, Ai began to make her way up to the door of the kitchen and you followed. She squeezed past the two boys and as you passed Jihoon you leaned forward, pressing a frantic kiss to Jihoon’s cheek.

“Okay, love you,” you said briefly. He mumbled it back to you and you two pushed back into the hallway. As soon as you two were far enough down the hall Ai began to laugh.

“Thank god it was just your boyfriend,” she laughed. You forced a laugh to come out of your mouth too, trying to focus on what she said instead of the fact that you had just kissed Jihoon’s cheek. You would never get used to kissing Jihoon. “You distracted him very well.”

“Well, he is my boyfriend,” you said cheekily. “If I can’t distract him, who can?”

-

“What have you got for the chorus?” Jihoon asked. You groaned, shoving your face into the desk.

“I just got here, I don’t know!” You complained. You lifted your head up and shot Jihoon a dramatic pout. “What do you have for the chorus?”

Jihoon raised an unamused eyebrow.

“You were the one who made a big deal about actually collaborating on this song,” he commented. “What did you say again? Your fans-”

“God, you’re so annoying,” you murmured back. “You think you’re right about everything?”

Normally, Jihoon would get frustrated when you made blanket statements like that, but you had noticed that recently the statements just made him roll his eyes.

“You’re quick to resort to insults,” he commented. You bit back the urge to prove his point. It was hard not to insult him when talking to him recently had made your heart act so erratically. You had gotten to dislike being around him so much that it made your heart race when he spoke to you. Insulting him was the best way for you to deal with the way he made your heart feel. Made you feel less helpless.  

You leaned forward and took the paper from the last time you two had been together and began to look at the lyrics. You began to softly murmur the lyrics under your breath, trying to figure out what to add next.

“Wish you were here, happy you aren’t,” you said. “What about something about the amount of space between us? The divide grows and this becomes comfortable.”

Your nose wrinkled at the lyrics but Jihoon was already writing it down, so you assumed that meant he approved. In the pit of your stomach you, once again, were feeling a bit annoyed. If he liked it after all, he should say something about it.

“All of this space, were we ever really meant to be?” You were mostly trying it out, but again, Jihoon was writing it before you were even sure that you liked it. Was that a good thing?

“It was so easy to forget you,” Jihoon said. “I miss you. Do I even really miss you?”

You hummed.

“I like that. I like how a lot of the lyrics are contradictory,” you murmured. “I think unreliable narrators are interesting. Makes you think a lot.”

Jihoon glanced up to you, eyebrows furrowed.

“Unreliable narrators?”

“Like Nick Carraway,” you replied. “The Great Gatsby?”

“You’ve read the Great Gatsby,” Jihoon said, surprise sprinkled in his voice. He turned his body towards you, letting his pencil dip down to the paper. Your heart jumped again. Probably because he clearly didn’t think you were educated enough to have read The Great Gatsby.

“Of course, I have,” you said indignantly. “You think I don’t read?”

“I’m surprised because it sounds like you like it,” Jihoon wrote off. You nodded, glancing away from him.

“I did like it. Nick being an unreliable narrator is just really entertaining to me. You don’t know if what he says in the book is completely true or not,” you said.

“That’s what I don’t like about it,” Jihoon agreed. “His perspective is so biased that it doesn’t give us sufficient details of the story.

“Exactly, in real life you never get every detail of every story. That’s what draws me in so much. What would I think about the characters if the story was told by Daisy or Jay?”

You stretched out your arms, your muscles aching from all the pushups that Chae had made you do today.

“That’s what I like so far about this song,” you continued. “We’re both unreliable. We don’t really know what we want, but we are the ones who know our relationship best. If we don’t even have reliable feelings how are we supposed to have a reliable relationship? I’m curious to see if our fans will really root for us.”

When you looked back at Jihoon he was still staring at you intently. There was no trace of annoyance or disagreement in his eyes. Simply a curious look. You cleared your throat.

“So, the bridge,” you said. Jihoon’s eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, but he didn’t say anything.

“Right, the bridge.”

-

You sat in silence as you watched Seventeen run their most recent song again. The song concept was darker than some of them. The dance moves rapid, but deliberate (something that fans had come to expect from them). The minute the cameras were on them the boys looked like they were doing the dance effortlessly. If it weren’t for those moments when the cameras weren’t on you would think that they were inhuman.

“How do they do it?” Nari asked in awe. You glanced at her.

“They’ve got so many years on us,” you replied softly. “It makes sense that they would be like this.”

“Perfect,” Ai said dreamily.

“Driven,” Chae corrected. “Like we should be.”

As the four of you spoke the boys broke apart for a break. You watched as Jihoon and Hansol stepped away from the group, looking exhausted. You noticed the other boys getting water but Jihoon was too busy talking to Hansol about something to do it.

Before you could really think through your actions, you were getting up from the floor. Your fingers grabbed at the water bottle that you had barely touched and you rushed over to Jihoon.

“I think that if we switch on the third count instead of the fourth count it...” Jihoon trailed off as you came into view, a confused expression crossing his face. You didn’t want to offer him any explanation. You didn’t even know why you were over there.

You pushed the water bottle into his hands.

“You’re doing amazing,” you forced yourself to say. Jihoon’s lips quirked up into half a smile.

“I must be lucky to have you dotting over me,” he said. Again, he was using that tone that made you want to curl up in a ball and scream, but as you forced yourself to ignore the color rapidly rising to your face you also forced yourself to notice that there was no malintent in his eyes.

In fact, you dared say he actually seemed to be a bit happy.

He unscrewed the water bottle.

“Thank you.”

You nodded and turned away from him, catching Jeonghan’s gaze in the meantime. Your face blazed even darker in color but you knew avoiding him would only make this more embarrassing.

“Want to catch a snack?” He asked you as you approached. You nodded.

Once you two were in the hallway, Jeonghan’s trademark teasing smile was spread all over his face.

“Playing the dotting partner, hm?” Jeonghan observed lightly.

“You said be convincing,” you said, noting that your voice sounded a little desperate. Jeonghan shrugged.

“I could be off base here,” Jeonghan said. “Though I rarely am… It seems to me you don’t really hate him anymore.”

You were silent for a minute and at first your mind just raced, trying to come up with convincing ways to negate what he had said. When nothing convincing came to mind you had to settle for what you desperately didn’t want to admit.

He was right.

“Why did you let me hate him for so long?” You asked with a sigh. “He’s nothing like I always claimed he was.”

Jeonghan shrugged.

“You’re stubborn,” he said pointedly. “You wouldn’t have listened to reason.”

“It was stupid,” you mumbled. “I’m so stupid. Why can’t he just be a terrible person like I always thought he was?”

“Maybe you should voice that to him,” Jeonghan suggested. “He’s so nice he would probably pretend just for you.”

A dumb pout spread over your face fast.

“What am I supposed to do now Jeonghan? I’m supposed to hate him.”

“You’re being dramatic-“ Jeonghan gave you a look of frustration. “Does the world end if you don’t hate Lee Jihoon?”

-

You toyed anxiously with your fingers, your eyebrows strewn in concentration as you tried to sort through your thoughts.

You were hopeful that your immense concentration wasn’t that concerning. After all, you had been informed recently that you needed to beginning preparing for your groups comeback along with preparing the solo song for your group.

And yet, that wasn’t the reason your mind was racing and unfortunately, that was evident.

“Busy thinking about Jihoon?” Chae tore you out of your thoughts, your eyebrows raising in surprise.

“What?”

“You haven’t seen him in a few days,” Chae said before you could completely misconstrue the question. “Well, not in private at least. Is he not making time for you?”

Truth be told, you were avoiding Jihoon as best you could. While he had approached you a few times about meeting up and finally figuring out what your song was going to sound like, you had promptly named any excuse you could to get out if it.

He was clearly confused by your sudden behavior… Probably because it clearly wasn’t due to distaste for him. It had been a while since you had actually treated Jihoon like you hated him. Insults towards him died on your tongue or didn’t come to your mind at all. And in times where you would normally be short with him- when he didn’t pay enough attention to you, or when you two weren’t agreeing on something- you had been patient. You had grown accustomed to trying to live more on his pace.

You knew that he knew your attitude towards him had changed and that’s what made it all worse.

The world didn’t end when you stopped hating Lee Jihoon. The world ended when you had to admit to Lee Jihoon that your behavior over the last few years that you had known him had been childish and unwarranted. You hated to be wrong.

Jesus, that was childish too.

“Jihoon’s been fine,” you said reluctantly. “Great even, he’s always so nice and understanding and perfect.”

You were doing a bad job at hiding your frustration.

“I’ve just been stupid about something and I’m going to have to own up to it at some point and I don’t want to.”

You couldn’t help the way that you sunk further into the couch, your lips turned down in a pout. Chae laughed, elbowing you in the side.

“You? Own up to someone?” Chae said, not even bothering to hide her surprise. “You must really love him or something. You’ve never been that emotionally mature.”

You shot her a glare making her laugh.

“I’m kidding,” she admonished. “Geez, why are you so worried about it? If Jihoon is so nice and perfect than he’ll be understanding.”

She shrugged.

“All relationships have their ups and downs, you’re only human. I’m sure Jihoon doesn’t care.”

And thus launched your next mission.

“What kinds of things does Jihoon like?” You asked. Jeonghan looked up at you from where his head was in your lap. His eyes narrowed towards you.

“That’s a weird thing to ask.”

You let a pout cross your lips.

“You think I like this?” You demanded. You looked away, your face burning red. “I hate apologizing. I’m never the one in the wrong. This fucking sucks.”

Jeonghan snickered.

“Starlight’s golden child,” he teased. “What’s apologizing got to do with knowing what things he likes? Why don’t you just look it up on member profiles?”

You groaned burying your fingers in your hair.

“That’s what fans know. You’re his friend, you can tell me the intimate details!”

“It’s not easy to win over Lee Jihoon,” Jeonghan replied. He sat up from your lap and pulled his legs under himself as he turned to face you on the couch.

“You’ve got to help me,” you pleaded, turning to face him as well. You took his hands. “Please please please please you’re the only one that can help me! You’re the only one who knows.”

Jeonghan sighed.

“I can’t promise it will help. I never hear Jihoon talking bad about you but it can’t be exactly comforting that his first real crush since idol-hood hated him.”

You felt that guilt ping through your chest again.

“Jeonghan,” you whined. “Help me.”

You pulled your legs under your body.

“I’m pathetic. I’m helpless. I hate this. Help me.”

Jeonghan chuckled, shaking his head.

“You know I love it when you beg.”

You were so hopeless you didn’t even care.

“You can win over Jihoon the same way that you would win over anyone. Show him you care. His top receiving love languages are gift giving and words of affirmation. You’ve spent all this time tearing him down, yeah? Start building him up. When you gave Jihoon that water bottle, that was perfect. You gave him a compliment and you gave him something. Showed you care. Keep that up and he’ll be wrapped around your pretty little finger.”

You weren’t supposed to meet up with Jihoon today, but you had your blood pumping with excitement towards getting him to like you that you couldn’t help but show up at his studio today.

You were nervous- standing there in front of his studio door with an americano in your hand but what better did you have to do anyway? The girls were all doing things today and Jeonghan was refusing to hang out with you until you figured shit out with Jihoon because he was tired of him being the only thing you talked about.

You sucked in a sharp breath.

Here goes nothing.

You pushed open the door to Jihoon’s studio, popping your head in to see if anyone was there. Luckily, the usually present Mingyu was missing and the only one that was in the room was Jihoon. Normally, he didn’t notice when you showed up in his room, but Jihoon’s headphones were noticeably absent.

“Mingyu I told you-”

His head turned and his eyes flickered to you, his words dying on his tongue.

“Oh. Hey, what are you doing here?” He said. He set down his pencil and turned his chair to face you more fully. You smiled nervously.

“I brought a peace offering.”

You held up the cup of coffee you had brought.

“I know that we hate each other but...” You trailed off. But what? Why did you start this that way? Why did you bring up the fact that you two hate each other? “Well, everyone likes coffee.”

You stood at the door unsurely, not really sure if he would even want you in his studio or not. After all this time, did you really deserve to spend time with him? You had been awful.

“Everyone does like coffee,” Jihoon agreed. “I need a break anyways. The music isn’t really writing itself.”

You closed the door behind you and wandered over to Jihoon, setting the coffee on the desk.

“You mean music prodigy Jihoon has trouble writing music?” You physically flinched. “I don’t know why I said that.”

Jihoon looked away from you, picking up the coffee. You noticed that he did have a small smile on his lips.

“Why don’t you let me hear it?” You asked, taking a seat next to him. “What’s wrong with it?”

Jihoon took a sip of the drink and then set it down.

“It just sounds wrong,” he replied. He turned his attention back to the computer. He clicked a few things and then handed you his headphones. You stared at them, unsure of what he wanted you to do with them. He looked at you, raising his eyebrow. “Put them on?”

“Oh-”

You took them from his hands and slid them over your ears. As soon as they were secure music started to play in your ears.

There was something to be said about Jihoon. You had always avoided listening to his music- simply on the principle that you hated him and thus should hate everything he stood for. But when you had listened to his music it had just made you angrier. How could someone so awful be so talented?

And now, without the buffer of actively forcing yourself to hate his music, things were different.

“You think this is bad?” You asked, sliding the headphones off your ears. Jihoon’s eyes widened.

“You haven’t finished.”

“I don’t really need to- Jihoon this is amazing.”

You lifted the headphones back to your ears.

“Play it again.”

He obliged, and the second time around it sounded even better. The music was soft, the notes working their way in your ears so delicately it was like you were being embraced in a hug. How he had managed to capture such an intimate feeling simply with sound was beyond you.

“What’s the song supposed to be about?” You asked. He shrugged.

“Falling in love?” He replied. “But not that complicated, you’re not really sure how you feel type of thing. Falling in love when you both know right from the start that you like each other. Falling in love when there’s not question where you’re going.”

You put the headphones back on again, your eyes flitting to the ground. Jihoon didn’t have to be asked to play the song again, and this time you could feel it like a buzzing running through your body.

“You’re amazing- Did you know that? This is amazing,” you said and you meant it. You weren’t just saying it because you thought you needed to win him over. “This is insane. How could you write something so amazing- So perfect- And think it wasn’t good enough?”

Jihoon’s face reddened a little and he looked away from you.

“It could use some work,” he said. “Aren’t you the one always saying that I’m not perfect?”

“Maybe I changed my tune,” you replied.

This was it. This was the perfect opportunity. You could do it right now. Just apologize. Just apologize.

“I should get going,” you replied. “The coffee delivery was the goal.”

You stood up, handing Jihoon back the headphones.

“Good luck.”

-

The next time you decided to visit Jihoon, Mingyu was in his studio. This time instead of coffee you had decided to bring along some tteboki thinking it would be a good snack.

“You didn’t bring me any?” Mingyu asked with a pout. You rolled your eyes lightly.

“You’re not my boyfriend,” you said pointedly. “Jihoon is.”

Mingyu still whined as you took the food over to Jihoon, setting it on his desk. Normally Jihoon would yell at you as you shifted his papers around.

“What’s this for?” Jihoon asked. You shrugged.

“Jeonghan says you’re always so busy working all day that you forget to eat.”

Again Jihoon’s eyebrows shot up at your words.

“So, I thought I could make this a reminder. You should eat.”

Jihoon’s eyebrows were strewn in thought as he poked through the bag to see what you had brought.

“Black bean tteboki?” He asked.

“You love black bean noodles.” You glanced back at Mingyu. “I don’t know why I’m justifying what I bought you. I know you’ll like it.”

There was a really awkward silence that filled the room. So you cleared your throat.

“I’ll get out of your hair,” you said. You walked back to the door sending a wave towards Mingyu. “I’ll bring you something too next time.”

“Don’t bother.”

Your eyes ripped back to Jihoon who was already bringing out his chopsticks to eat what you had brought him.

“Things like that are wasted on Mingyu.” He smiled. “Thanks.”

You nodded and left the room, smiling at the protests that were escaping Mingyu’s mouth at the prospect of you not buying food for him and definitely not smiling because it felt nicer to have Jihoon smile at you then it did to make him upset with you.

-

“Your boyfriend is staying up late in the studio again,” Soonyoung complained. You looked up at him from where you were stretching.

“Come again?”

“Every night this week, Lee Jihoon has slept in the studio. Mingyu is getting insufferable. He spends every night with me.”

You snickered at the prospect of Kim Mingyu staying the night with Soonyoung, but Soonyoung’s expression stayed serious.

“You’ve got to get him out of there.”

“Me?” You blurted. “What will I be able to do?”

Soonyoung gestured towards you.

“You two are dating!” He replied. “If anyone can get him to get out of the studio you can.”

You knew that wasn’t true. You and Jihoon were fake dating for crying out loud.

But Soonyoung didn’t know that, and you had to make this be as convincing as possible. You had been so grateful when you two got to cut down the amount of fake dates that you two had to go on. The media was long convinced your relationship was real after all- what self-respecting idols faked a relationship in this industry. The worst part about this was that you had to keep this charade up to everyone else too.

You couldn’t just tell Soonyoung that Jihoon would never listen to you. So instead, here you stood, right outside of his stupid studio door for the millionth time this week.

You had brought him food, and coffee, a trinket for his desk. You had been here everyday and it wasn’t even to write the song with him.

And here you were again. Fuck.

You peeked your head into Jihoon’s studio, again not even bothering to knock on the door. Jihoon was sitting at his desk, headphones on his ears, spinning a pencil around his fingers. You closed the door quietly behind you and walked up to him, tapping him on the shoulder.

Jihoon jumped, taking a sharp breath at the sudden touch. He looked back at you and his eyes shut.

“It’s just you,” he breathed. He lowered his headphones. “What are you doing here this late?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” You asked. You pushed aside some of his things and hopped up on his desk. He raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on it if he didn’t like it. “What are you doing working so late?”

“I’ve only got a little bit more to do,” he replied. He gestured towards his computer making you chew on your bottom lip unsurely. Jihoon was going to kill you if you did what you needed to do. He was going to kill you.

“How does this program work? Does it save as you go?” You asked. Jihoon shook his head.

“No, but I just saved it a few seconds-”

And before Jihoon could finish seeking you ran your fingers around the edge of the desktop and clicked the power button. Jihoon’s computer screen flickered to black, and there was a few seconds that felt like years in which neither of you said anything.

“Y/n.”

Was it hot in here? It felt hot in here.

“You have to go to bed!” You protested immediately. You started to back away from Jihoon. “You said that everything was saved! It’s okay I didn’t ruin anything and now you can get up and go to bed-”

“You can’t just turn off my computer!” Jihoon exclaimed. “What made you think you could just turn off my computer?”

“I had to resort to drastic measures,” you hissed back. “You’re unreasonable when you’re working.”

“I’m unreasonable?” Jihoon asked with an indignant scoff. “How am I unreasonable? You are the one who turned my computer off.”

You had been certain that you had seen Jihoon mad before. You had been certain that all of those times that you two had been fighting before he had been angry but seeing him right now? You realized whatever emotion he had then was completely different then what you were seeing in him now. His face was red, his eyes were wide, you could tell that he was struggling to keep his voice to a reasonable level.

At least he was trying not to kill you.

“You have to go to bed,” you said, your lips falling into a pout. “Please everyone thinks I can get you to bed and I can’t exactly tell everyone that I have no real say over what you do because we aren’t really dating! You’ve left me no choice.”

Jihoon stood up and pointed at his black computer screen.

“You had a choice.”

You stared at Jihoon, not really sure what you needed to do next. You didn’t have a mask that you could put on. You didn’t have a lie you could tell or an insult you could throw at him to make him change trajectory. You just stood there, clasping your hands behind your back giving him the most pathetic pout you could muster.

“I know that I haven’t done much for you,” you said softly. “But let me do this? Just this one thing, right now. Come with me. Go to sleep.”

Your voice dropped a little quieter.

“Don’t be mad at me?”

Jihoon held his air of anger for a few seconds, still staring at you like he wanted to hit something and then, his shoulders dropped. He raised his hands in the air in surrender.

“I’m not mad,” he said, turning his eyes away from you. “How could I be mad? If the boys wanted you to get me to sleep you had no choice.”

He reached over to a notebook that laid opened on his desk and flipped it closed.

“You win. I’ll sleep.”

He picked up his phone and slipped it into his back pocket. When he turned back around his eyes met yours again.

“Turn off my computer again?” He asked. “I will not be this understanding.”

You nodded.

“Learned my lesson,” you said, but you couldn’t help the smile that crossed your lips. “Got what I wanted.”

Jihoon sighed.

“If we weren’t in a fake relationship, you wouldn’t be getting treated this well.”

You two walked over to the door, leaving his studio.

“Well, no one’s around,” you said cheekily. “And you’re not telling me no.”

You said it as a jest, but it was as if as it left your mouth, you were realizing that it was true. When had you two started being reasonable even behind locked doors?

“I suppose not,” he agreed softly. He glanced at you.

“You know, you’re not half bad when you’re not yelling at me,” he said softly. “I actually enjoy your company when you aren’t driving me up the wall.”

This was it. Your chance to finally apologize to him. To mend bridges.

Swallow your pride, just apologize.

“I think the exhaustion is getting to you,” you said. “You’re saying things you don’t mean.”

You laughed.

“When are we going to finish this song?”

If Jihoon was thrown off by your change of topic, he didn’t comment on it.

“This Friday?”

You cleared your throat awkwardly.

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea.”

-

“What about this?”

You turned your chair around to face Jihoon, reaching out blindly for his headphones. Before they hit your hands he was slipping them on your head over your ears. You (luckily) barely showed your surprise.

A melody began to play in the headphones. One that you had been listening to different versions of it for the last five hours. You sighed.

“I mean-” Your head fell to the side. “It’s better? What if we tried to add something to the back? Drums?”

Jihoon nodded.

“Drums.”

His fingers drummed thoughtlessly on the desk.

“Drums,” he repeated. He concentrated for only a few moments before he was playing the song again in your ears, this time with the added backtrack. It sounded better. A smile crossed your lips.

“Hey, we’re making progress. I think we’re almost finished!”

Eight hours and three separate orders of chinese takeout later and you finally were, you were finally done.

“Well?” Jihoon asked, his eyes flickering to you.

“It’s good,” you replied. You laughed. “It’s really good. Do you think they’re going to like it?”

“I can���t say for sure,” Jihoon replied, looking at you with amusement dancing in his eyes. “You sure do have a lot of energy for 13 straight hours of this.”

You shrugged.

“You can do it, I can do it,” you replied. “You know I admire that you can do these things. You’re the whole package Jihoon.”

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the amount of chinese takeout you had consumed. Whatever it was, you felt like your whole body was buzzing. You were so excited to have finally finished this song.

“I can’t believe I actually like this! When Sangsoo told us we had to do this I thought I would hate it,” you admitted. “But this might be my favorite song to perform to date.”

Jihoon wasn’t staring at you so you took it as the opportunity to talk more.

“Can you imagine us? On stage, side by side. We’re going to double the time in this studio in the dance studio trying to figure out this choreography.”

Jihoon shifted his weight, resting his chin in his hand.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you replied excitedly. “And all thanks to your musical genius. You Jihoon are the best producer that our generation of singer-songwriters has ever seen. You-”

You froze in the middle of your sentence.

“You’re making fun of me?”

Jihoon laughed.

“I’m not making fun of you,” he said. “I’m just relishing in the moment. It’s not everyday that I hear you building me up. I’m too used to you screaming insults in my face.”

And there it was. How were you not getting accustomed to this? This pang of guilt that went through your gut when someone reminded you of how you had been treating Jihoon before you had realized that you were such a fucking idiot.

How could you make this go away?

“Yeah.”

You knew how to make this feeling go away. You knew what you had to do. You just so desperately didn’t want to do it. It didn’t have to be this hard, did it? All you had to do was tell him what you had been thinking for weeks now. You were good at telling people how you felt, weren’t you? You told Jeonghan how you felt all the time.

“I was really mean to you,” you said before you could think about it. “Like really mean.”

Jihoon’s cocked his head.

“I didn’t make it easy not to be mean to,” he said.

“No- No, don’t say that,” you protested. You pointed a finger at him. “I was horrible to you. Are you joking? I was mean to you for no reason.”

Jihoon didn’t seem stressed by the topic. Dare you say he looked amused. Maybe he knew that your guilt was killing you and he thought you deserved it.

“I mean, you seemed to have plenty of reasons at the time.”

You did deserve it.

“I’m sorry,” you said and as soon as the words left your lips it was like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Finally.

“You’re sorry?” Jihoon asked, his eyebrows furrowing a little.

“For being so mean to you, for hating you for no reason, for getting us into this mess.” You shook your head. “This list goes on and I’m sorry. For all of it.”

Still Jihoon looked a bit confused.

“Why are you... Apologizing?”

“You’re a good person,” you replied. “My reasons were dumb, and now I like you a lot. I don’t want to be enemies.”

God, were you really about to say what you thought you were? “I want to be friends.”

Holy shit, you were.

The space between you saying that and Jihoon answering was an amount of time that felt like an eternity. You two just walked in silence together while you anxiously waited for his response, your fingers fidgeting with themselves in front of you.

“I thought we already were friends,” Jihoon said with a shrug. “It’s been a while since our last screaming match. Seemed reasonable to me that you regretted what you said even without you saying it.”

And just like that the air returned to your lungs. No pressure, no tight chest. Just complete and utter relief.

“Yeah?” You asked, risking a glance at Jihoon.

“Well, you don’t hate me anymore. I don’t hate you. Might as well be friends.”

You turned your head to hide your smile.

“Might as well be friends.”

Part Two

[unlust-fvck]

wolfstar blurb

a/n: thank you @sxriusblxck for this request <333: wolfstar with remus who’s typically all stoic and dominant but when he gets stressed he gets all subby and sirius coo’s at him and takes care of him

“sirius stop.” remus grumbled quietly to the raven haired boy next to him.

they were in the great hall for lunch and sirius decided now of all times would be perfect to test his limits.

his hand immediately fled remus’ thigh and relaxed in his own lap.

“good boy.” remus muttered ever so quietly. the blush on sirius’ face shown as thought remus had announced it to all of the hall.

it was later, after classes, and remus stared blankly at his essay.

all he had written was the title and his name and with a stressed sigh, he banged his head on the table and left it there in defeat.

sirius perked up from his four-poster and set down the magazine he was half-heartedly reading. he slipped out of bed and trotted over to remus.

he laid his hands on remus’ shoulders and worked at a few knots as he saw the stress spill from his posture.

remus sank back into sirius’ hold and looked up at him, a glint in his eye that told sirius everything he needed to know.

“it’s not due for another two weeks, my love. come to bed okay? we can go to the library tomorrow.”

remus nodded thankfully and stood up, almost falling onto sirius as he gave out. sirius heaved him into bed and he heard a whine from remus.

“what baby?” he said with a small smiled.

“cuddle.” he mumbled with a pout.

“in a minute, hold on. you can be patient, yeah?” he whispered.

so there remus sat.

sirius brought over his own pajama pants and jumper and laid them at remus’ feet. he sat next to remus.

“arms up moony.” he hummed and remus obeyed.

there was something so special about remus giving himself to sirius like this and he’d never take it for granted.

he slipped off remus’ clothes from the day and slipped him into the red and black plaid pants.

“jumper or no jumper?” he asked as he let a finger travel gingerly down remus’ pale scarred chest.

“jumper,” he mumbled like a petulant child who had done wrong.

sirius nodded and slipped the black jumper over his head.

remus’ showed him a toothy grin and laid down, facing sirius.

sirius blew out the candle that had been providing them with light and laid down aswell, facing remus.

“moons, s’okay not to get this essay done. you have so much time and you just need a break okay?” he said with a gently smile and a peck to the forehead.

remus just nodded and basked in the affection sleepily. sirius reached into his pant pocket and slipped out a cigarette and grabbed his wand from the nightstand.

“do you want one baby?” he offered.

he didn’t get a response. he looked over and saw remus dozing off.

he smiled to himself and lit his cigarette with his wand. the smoke filled the air as he slipped an arm around remus and whispered “i love you.”

he could’ve swore he saw remus’ mouth twitch upwards.

[monty-glasses-roxy]

So do the girls ever gain the title of "sisters"? Like imagine someone making Roxy cry and Cassie squares up to them like "Leave my little sister ALONE" Plus Roxy would totally do the same thing for Cass

They are sisters, yeah!! And I'm glad you referred to Roxy as the little sister too because she kinda is lmao

They start calling eachother sister's very early on after Roxy starts living with Cassie and her dad (who I'm calling Eddie). A little more context here, is that this version of Meteors is set after my Ruin Aftermath fic that I... haven't written anything for yet. (I wouldn't need to though, I could integrate it fairly well with Meteors I'd say. Maybe.) But basically, in the aftermath of Ruin, Roxy and some of the reactivated Minis that came to her aid, find a very injured Cassie underground, and the group have to navigate the basements of the old Pizza Place, avoiding the Mimic the best they can, to try and find a way to stop it for good. Because until then? They can't leave without letting the Mimic out.

All this to say that even before Meteors, Roxy and Cassie are thick as thieves. They're a team! The Minis love Cassie and Cassie loves them! Cassie comes back to see Roxy regularly, even convincing her dad to come and meet her in the lobby after some pestering! Cassie already saw Roxy as an older sister figure and a best friend, and Roxy always adored Cassie, but could never describe it outside of 'like family' before due to not really thinking about it too much. She loves Cassie like family and that's all she needs to know!

Now that things are different though, and Roxy is a new flesh and blood version of herself, they see each other a bit differently now.

Cassie feels like Roxy is a little sister sometimes, and a big sister other times, but most of the time they're just sisters. Roxy's a bit confused (not offended, just confused) the first time Cassie calls her the little sister, but after some thinking about it and a conversation, Roxy feels the same way with Cassie. Neither of them are strictly the older or the younger sister, but they're always sisters, and even Eddie refers to them as such from the moment they proudly announce it to him.

Sure, they didn't immediately start calling each other that. Cassie's always felt it, and Roxy just never thought about it before. As with a lot of things now, Roxy just needs to figure some stuff out before she knows where she stands, and Cassie is beyond happy to answer any questions she has about it. When she understands it, Cassie is the first to know and the two celebrate being sisters with a sleepover in Cassie's room! The pair of them make a mess trying to do all the things Cassie had always wanted to do if she'd had a sibling before and it's a blast. But yeah uh... neither of them know what they're doing for a lot of these things but because they're both fucking it up together, it's probably the most they've ever laughed in their lives

And yeah, Cassie defending Roxy? Sticking up for her when she's upset and doesn't know what to do? Cassie is the one saying, "Excuse me, she asked for NO pickles." while Roxy looks awkward and nervous behind her lmao. Cassie will not let anyone treat Roxy badly, and won't let Roxy get walked on because someone decided to take advantage of her lack of information. She's the big sister in these scenarios and she's damn proud of it too!

... But Cassie isn't a fighter. She'll defend Roxy with confidence, words and is not afraid to be a 'tattletail' if it makes someone back off. You know who is a fighter? Roxy.

If anything happens to Cassie, especially when Cassie is defending her? She stands behind her, ears back, fur a little fluffed up, growling up a storm with her sharp, canine teeth on full display. She is not letting Cassie get hurt you can bet on that. Roxy has the intimidation of her wolf characteristics and that's usually enough to scare anyone that dare upset Cassie away, but if it doesn't work? She will throw hands! She will claw! She will bite! And she will win! .......... And get lectured by Eddie later lmao

And I like to think, much to Eddie's dismay, that this rubs off on Cassie a bit too. While Roxy starts to learn from Cassie how to use words to de-escalate a situation, Cassie is learning from Roxy how to defend herself should she ever get in a fight. This is great for both of them until Eddie gets called into Cassie's school because she punched someone that was picking on her. Yeah... thats a fun conversation lmao. This post is getting long, and I could think about how that goes now, but yeah. Long post lmao gonna wrap this up

Tl;dr: Yes! Roxy and Cassie are officially sisters not long after Roxy starts to settle in her new place at Cassie and her dad's flat! They are the 'She asked for NO pickles' meme with Cassie asserting herself while Roxy doesn't know what to do. And of course, Roxy will throw down for Cassie.

They're sisters and they love each other as such!

[sakiaii]

Armored x Magic girls 'title forever work in progress' series 1

ok just imagine dust falling in the middle of the night like snow in a neighborhood. people who watched Den-O can just remember the first episode and the sand falling from the sky. now this is a weird kinda dust that can enter closed windows. next day a girl wakes up not feeling well but her mom is like yeah nice try go to school. she goes to school but while everyone is still waiting outside her friends tell her to go home instead. at home in the hallway she's attacked and grabed upon entering by PR like monsters.

now what i didn't mention is that a flying drone saw all this(og there was no drone but it makes for a good explanation how this character knew all this) from the dust to stalking her and her friends and this scene now i never gave this scene much thought until nowadays but i don't remember there ever being extracurricular activities before school... anyways as the other girls are outside and telling their friend to go home in the school gym we see karate lessons. now one girl the lone wolf of our story is just doing basic stuff when her sparring partner hits the ground and she accuses her of doing this intentionally but the girl claims she didn't use any strength at all with no one believing her she just calmly leaves saying she quits karate.

now the person who knew all this some scientist garthers other girls telling them they've all been infected by some matter released by aliens and how their goal now is kidnaping people showing signs and exposing them to the bigger dose of that matter (think KR Build). he doesn't have a cure but can stop the infection from progressing. their goal is to create a super soldier but the actual boss of this aliens that we're not going to see until the end of the 1st era put a minion in charge but she lacks patience, she was instructed to wait and see but by kidnaping people with signs of being affected and giving them a bigger dose to speed up the process she's creating mindless monsters and effin up the project. now this scientist actually has a secret but at the start he wasn't yet fleshed out and his story was revealed to me as my fantasies went along.

needless to say the first battles were kinda bad as no one was ready for this. the lone wolf girl would avoid fighting unless everyone else was on the ground then acting like a tank she would put herself in danger until everyone else gets up then going back to being reserved. this professor guy realised that and asked one of the outgoing girls to befriend her. he also told them there was another girl that could help them that was trained for this but can't arrive just yet (remember this guy actually has secrets). instead using what i call Dragon armor another new member soon joined but.. this armor used a weird cristal that this professor stole from this aliens a long time ago it's a crystal that they never found a way to use as it so powerful meaning that our Dragon armor girl almost killed herself when she showed up for the first time. She had a special attack like a dragon shaped bolt of lightning yes it's the same as this attack (me and hoyo devs thinking the same way)

the professor had to teleport her immediately away before anyone else noticed and save her as she she was frantically twitching in pain. he knew that was going to happen but that's who he really is a morally dubious person and the girl he gave the armor also had a death wish. She has a different disease that he promised to try to find a cure for but the crystal just refuses to be tamed so professor will lock the crystals power but leave her with a way to unlock it if the situation calls for it telling her that she will surely die then. And that will happen very soon, when she dies he will leave her near a hospital for people to find her and then he will bury that crystal together with her. Later the announced girl arrives and she's an orphan who sees professor as father figure unaware that he is actually an alien, wolf in disguise, someone who betrayed those other aliens when he stole the crystal and has been preparing her the day they come looking for him so she could protect him. Her naive trust in him ends up having an influence on this professor that he really despises as he's starting to actually care.

ehem remember the lone wolf and the girl asked to befriend her well they're going to develop a cool team work. attacking together at the same time forcing the enemy to put a block while one of them slows or pauses her movements before block to switch and attack now exposed area but something will start happening with the lone wolf girl. she will start having weird episodes where she will start getting really angry at her friend like she's addicted to that friendship and when she's not getting enough she's having drawbacks always blaming herself saying "no its not her i'm the problem". She will start losing herself in fights and fight with more aggression until she realises and goes back to being reserved. then one day the aliens... oh wait! before that the big boss sent one more person to oversee the project and the other overseer as she was effing it up. now the aliens are going to abduct a group of girls with our lone wolf among them, they only want one but our lone wolf is not having it and as that girl is willing to go with them in exchange that they don't hurt others our lone wolf snaps and attacks this girl first and then aliens at that time someone unlocks all the doors releasing all the monsters with the 2 overseers arguing who did it as the code had high clearance.. almost like... it was the big boss himself.

finding out from girls that escaped what happened our girls come to conclusion that the infection in our lone wolf did progress and that she's beyond help now with her friend going alone to put her down.

umm my other characters in series don't have names but this 2 actually have xD so friend is Rebecca while lone wolf is Sarah

well there's going to be a verbal confrontation after which Sarah will join the bad guys.. spoiler there was also someone in Sarah's head at this point but not the confrontation pushing her on the path of destruction using her depression saying we are the same these aliens don't know i actually want to destroy everything as living in this world is bad, at the time i believed it was the big boss (should i say it now? this is 11th story revelation. it was actually rival who wanted the project to create super soldier to fail)

anyway wanna know what the inspiration for confrontation was and for names xD just look at facial expressions here I want Sarah to have to same during confrontation

with Sarah now being that super soldier the project was trying to create she's a problem for our girls who believe the infection messed up her mind but they find out why she was such a lone wolf. Her younger brother had an accident where he died when she was a child herself the mother however blamed her and treated her as if she was the one that killed him. one girl now starts suspecting that Sarah was evil this whole time and with her being such a problem she wants to kill her in the past.

which brings me to how do they know about time travel well long before all this i had a fantasy where Rebecca was alone in professors lab and touched something which sent her to the future. now i had no idea what future was this, alien minions had different outfits i had no idea what this was, was it earth did it get invaded. Sarah showed up and defeated them without armor and stared until she said you're from the past and we need to take you back. After she send her back aliens get hit by a strong fire attack and we don't see who's walking to Sarah but then we hear Rebecca's voice saying "you could have killed me just now" and with a evil smirk she replies "oh! i was tempted"

well the professor forbade the use of time travel said it's to dangerous back then but this girl will use it and find out Sarah was not an evil child and that really was an accident she will then remember how Sarah tanked and risked her life in the beginning to protect them and they will come to conclusion that they need to find a way to help her.

the voice in Sarah's head will tell her he has a bomb for her which can destroy all life on earth our girls will show up and Rebecca will have a one on one with Sarah who is too strong so Rebecca will trick her pretending she can't get back up and attack Sarah from the back as she turns to the activation mechanism for the bomb. But Sarah doesn't want to listen and she's still trying to crawl her way to activate the bomb.. it's because she doesn't want to live anymore. She will ask Rebecca to kill her, it's the only way to stop her but Rebecca will say i can't so we will die together as she puts a difrent explosive device on the ground and gives her a hug.

well that's it and i really wasn't expecting it to be such a wall of text wtf lol OMG i can't even proof read this what the.. hopefully i didn't forget anything.. also profesor had a AI just think Zordon and Alpha

i got few surprises for you in story 2 *wink*

for now professor revealed that the bomb was fake and would have killed only Sarah if she activated it which raised the question why would the big boss want to kill the super soldier it wanted to create. the professor who now started to care about this girls leaves on his spaceship so that they never find out about his wolf in disguise side.

[glassmarcus]

Xenoblade Chronicles 3: The Life of the Party

*Played in August 2022, Written in January 2023. This is too long and probably impenetrable if you haven't played these games, you probably shouldn't read it.

My History With Xenoblade

The first Xenoblade Chronicles is probably the latest gaming experience I can count as truly formative. I feel like within a year after I beat it, my gamer brain finished incubation. Games have had a large impact on me afterwards of course. I didn't even play Dark Souls until 4 years later. My taste were not set in stone afterwards. That's not what I mean. I consider it formative because it's a game I strongly connect to childhood. Sure, I feel nostalgia for stuff I played a few years ago, but it's not the same type of nostalgia. It's a bit more integral in molding who I am as a video game enthusiast and as a person to an extent. It sits among the likes of Sonic Adventure 2, Super Mario Bros 3, Pokémon Silver, Kingdom Hearts 1, and The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons as a load bearing game. Basically, it's important to me.

I remember the E3 in which Xenoblade 1 was announced. I remember seeing Bowser's Inside Story and being intrigued. I remember the trailer for Super Mario Galaxy 2 and being surprised they just slapped a 2 on it for the title. I remember being tricked into thinking Metroid Other M might be a good game. Yet, this Monado: Beginning of the World game? No recollection. Not even back then did I remember it. If they showed a trailer at the conference, I definitely saw it. But looking back at it now I can definitely see why I forgot it instantly. This is a profoundly xeric trailer with no flavor or conveyance of anything interesting. This game feels like it was being sent out to die.

I never thought about this Monado game until two years later when a buzz about untranslated Wii games started up. This was back when I was frequenting the Screwattack.com forums, and everyday I'd see a post about Operation Rainfall. Operation Rainfall was a campaign ran by JRPG fans who were determined to get 3 well received games on the Nintendo Wii localized and distributed to the US. These games were The Last Story (a game made by a former Final Fantasy director. But I wasn't interested in at the time), Pandora's Tower (an action RPG that I remember having a grappling hook), and Xenoblade Chronicles. Xenoblade ended up being a re-title of Monado, but I didn't make the connection. I wasn't interested in any of these games. But I did want to participate in this campaign. I just felt like contributing to a cause, and I generally believed games should be as accessible as possible. I didn't go so far to pre-order the games on amazon or anything, but I did sign petitions and bitch about it online. So I didn't do anything, but I felt like I did.

Eventually, rain did fall, and all 3 games got localized. And the first of these was Xenoblade. It was summer of 2012, and I just completed my second year of high school. I had A LOT more free time on my hands and needed something to keep me busy. And that something would inevitably be video games. But which video game would I chose? Nothing really stood out to me at the time. But I did remember that one Operation Rainfall game that came out 2 months earlier and decided to check it out. I looked at the combat footage and it appeared super weird to me. But the comment section just kept riding this game's junk to the stratosphere. Eventually I decided to trust the populace and buy the game. My birthday just happened. I had money to blow. So I bought it. And I was hooked immediately.

Back then, and somewhat still now, I was a Nintendo baby. Sure I had a Playstation 2, but for as great as that console was, it wasn't enough to conceal the stench of Nintendo fanboyism emanating from my gamer sweat glands. I reeked of it. When the 7th generation of gaming hit, I was only concerned with the Wii for the first few years. And thus had lower expectations as far as fidelity was concerned. This is why Xenoblade stood out. I never expected a game as gigantic as this on a Wii. I always had some interest in MMO games, but never had a PC that could realistically run one. Large RPGs like Skyrim and Fallout I’d occasionally want to try out, but those were only available on consoles that ran on moderately modern hardware. I was used to small games. I was used to old games. A large new game like Xenoblade was the first time I took off the Nintendo blinders and saw the Wii for the suped up Gamecube slim model it really was. No other game was like this on the console because it didn't seem possible. But Monolith Software made it possible because they are wizards. The second I got through the opening chapters and set foot onto Gaur Plains, I knew I was embarking on an epic journey.

The world was brilliant from the jump. Two continents surrounded by boundless ocean, but the continents aren't land masses, but two titans locked in combat for eternity. Every aspect of these titan's anatomy was a new region to explore with a unique ecosystem, more people to meet and cultures to experience. Bionis and Mechonis were the World Turtle concept turned up to 11, and it was the coolest thing I'd seen in my life up to that point. This setting acted as the perfect back drop to a story I still find extremely engaging and that story conveyed themes that I really needed to experience at the time. I was a bit younger than the cast of the game and was at a point where I started to question the things I was taught and that maybe you shouldn't just accept things the way they are. I won't go into it, this isn't a thematic and narrative break down of Xenoblade’s story. I will say though, that shortly after beating it I became considerably more resistant to going to church.

There were so many things about Xenoblade 1 that just hit right. The scope, The tone, the voice acting, the music, the pacing, even the busy work side quest which are objectively boring, but I was fine with because I wanted to stay in that world. I played Xenoblade in the right place at the right time. I wouldn't be so impressed with it nowadays and I wouldn't appreciate it enough if i played it earlier. Everything fell into place. In the decade since playing it, there was one thing that still sticks out to me as exceptional. Well, maybe one is understating it. Seven seems a bit more accurate.

My perception of JRPG Party Structure

Til then, I had mainly interacted with Pokémon and Mario to get my fill for Role Playing Games. With the occasional Megaman Battle Network game here and there. Didn't get to playing Golden Suns, Fire Emblems, and Final Fantasies until later but I did and still do classify them as a different type of RPG. Not because of the mechanics. Megaman Battle Network, the Mario RPGs, and Pokemon all feel very different to play. The thing these games truly had in common is that there was no classic RPG party you follow throughout the game.

In the Battle Network games you play as 2 characters and not even at the same time. Even in Pokémon where you are playing as a 1000 characters, every Pokémon is basically the same, so you are playing as 2 characters. There are few relevant bonds in these games put at the fore front because your interactions are so limited. The relational structure allows for more gameplay and variety regarding the limited cast, but it also limits character interactions heavily.

All 3 Mario RPG series embody these types of relational structures. The Mario and Luigi games work on a one to one relationship. Only the brothers matter. You are following two dueteragonist on a journey and seeing how their personalities bounce off each other. The Paper Mario games work on a one to many relationship, where only Mario's relationships with his party matter. Your party members have personality, but you can only have one out at a time so they can only bounce off of Mario, who kinda doesn't have a personality. As much as I’d like Captain Bombery and Koops to form a meaningful brotherly friendship in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, the game is not build for that kind of thing to happen. In Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars though, you have 3 party slots and thus you are technically fighting as a team the whole game. There are also scenes where more than one party member is present. It's not the best example, but it is a many to many relationship. Peach interacts with Bowser. Bowser interacts with Mario. Mario interacts with Geno. Mario is still the main character, but he’s not as central as he usually is.

These are my favorite type. I didn't realize how important this aspect of the adventure was to me until I played Chrono Trigger about a year before I played Xenoblade. Nearly every party member in that game had a their own dynamic with the others. And this made them feel more like real characters than any of their individual backstories did. It was even reflected not just in discussions the team would have but in the gameplay by having unique team attacks for every combination of 2 or 3 characters. I stand by that you really can’t say you are close to another person unless you have a name for your tag action finisher. It feels like a well composed party melding together their strengths to make up for their weaknesses. I felt the same way about Xenoblade when I played it, only stronger.

The cast of Xenoblade was at the time, my favorite JRPG cast. Even now I'd say they stack up pretty well. They all had their own pronounced roles in the plot and grew closer to each other as they ventured as a group. Some were better than others of course. Shulk, as the main character, clearly has the most going on and is the best character, but Melia ends up have about as much meat to her journey as well. The other cast members have either small moments of growth; had no growth due to their characters already being complete; or had big breast. So back then, the crew gave me everything I could ask for.

The writing of the characters was great, but I wouldn't call it one of the strong points of the game. The character interactions are where it truly shines. Like Chrono Trigger, there are in battle mechanics that make your party truly feel like a team. This is achieved with tactics, the help action and chain attacks. You only control the leading party member, but that only places you in a role where you have to interact with your AI teammates rather than play god and control their every action. You need to trust your friends. You need to give up attacking for a second and help shake them out of a status effect, and trust that they'll do the same for you. You need to trust that they'll heal you. You need to trust that they'll revive you. They trust you enough to follow your tactical commands so you have to trust that they'll follow through. And that moment when you use a chain attack and do get control of your party member's actions, it doesn't feel like you’re lording over your subordinates, it feels like you're a unit.

Even outside of battle there are plenty of bells and whistles that bring the party closer together. There's the affinity system, which is this game's version of socials links (I think (I haven’t played a single Persona game (man I really should have played one of those Persona games before making a long ass essay about RPG party members))). The more affinity the party members have between each other, the more passive skills they can learn which will greatly aid you in battle. And you build affinity by having those characters fight together in your party. Many RPGs have more characters than available slots for characters to fight. So you can basically ignore the others for most of the game and just use your go-to 3 or 4 members the whole time. Xenoblade certainly has this issue, but it's alleviated by incentivizing swapping members in and out. If you want your favorite characters to truly be at their strongest, you need to vary your party. And the benefit of this isn't just mechanical. Small Heart to Heart discussions between characters are unlocked once they reach a certain location and achieve a level of affinity with each other. These dialogues bring the team together and builds a believable kinship that doesn't just feel earned through story beats, but is objectively earned through gameplay.

And what would Xenoblade be without the live banter? Sure it's been memed to the ends of the Bionis and lines can repeat too much, but there is an underrated value to it. The camaraderie between these characters is electric. Hyping themselves up before fights, showing struggle and concern during, and audibly basking in victory afterwards. It is a staple in the franchise for a reason and I'm so glad More games are doing it. It’s one of my favorite aspects of Final Fantasy 7: Remake. There was just something about all these elements which melded together to make the perfect RPG party and allowed for Xenoblade to become one of my all time favorites. It genuinely had a profound impact on me and raised the bar for what I wanted from RPGs. Hell, it even got my ass to go back and play Xenogears because at that point there were no other Xenoblade games and Xenosaga was still impossibly hard to find even back then. I knew they weren’t technically the same franchise, but they had the same director, apparently had similar motifs, and had similar titles, so I was onboard.

Xenogears rules and provided me with some much needed context. Probably too much context. Xenogears was both too much and not enough game for me. There was a lot more plot and themes going on compared to Xenoblade and I never really got a good handle on the mech combat. There was a lot I wasn't really grasping to be honest and most of it was probably not explained very well. Especially at the end where it became a rushed slide show because they couldn’t finish the game in time. One thing that does stick with me was how cool the party of that game was. It was a delight seeing them show off their personality through their slick attack animations. And that's basically all I remember about them outside of the two leads. Xenoblade has this issue to an extent as well, but it's minute compared to it’s progenitor. A lot of characters have a single moment in the story around the time they join the party and fall off immediately afterwards. It's the Fei and Elly show for the most part. This criticism might be baseless and I'm just remembering wrong, but that's what I recall.

And here should be a paragraph of my experience with Xenoblade Chronicles X, but I've never played it. I never owned a Bigger Wii. I really thought it would be a system seller for me, but I saw the direction it was going and it didn't really grab me. After being such a big fan of the protags from other xeno games, having a player avatar felt off. So I wasn't pressed to play it. And I also wasn't pressed to play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 either when it was released. I wasn't alone in this. A lot of people's initial impressions on Xenoblade 2 was that it was cringe anime trash. And the initial consensus upon release was that it was worse than the first game. I put it on the back burner. I was certainly going to play it, but I don't start 100+ hour games on a whim. I needed the right time to start. So thanks Covid. You eroded my social skills and killed my Uncle, but at least you gave me more time to play video games, so I’m definitely not bitter.

My Apology to Xenoblade Chronicles 2

I hated Xenoblade 2 at first. I ended up liking it by the end, but that first 20 hours was grueling for me. The combat doesn't shine until mid way through the game and you still don't really understand what's going on until much later. And the story just did nothing for me at the time. It got good eventually, but the bitterness of those first 20 hours will always stick with me. When I played it two years ago, I dismissed it as cringe. And now I’d like to walk that back. I mean I made it clear that I liked it a lot, just not as much as the first game, and that remains true. But that really just came down to pacing and the general vibes of the game. I did say the story was garbage and I don't stand by that claim anymore. Now that Xenoblade 3 is out and I don't have to worry about the franchise being embarrassing in the future and I can look at the game in a more fair light. The story and tone of the game isn't trash. It's a bit trashy at points, but it's not trash.

There's themes and story beats that have undeniably value. I gained little from them myself, but I can see others gleaning a lot from them. It took far too long to get interesting for me and I was annoyed by the villains too much to give a single fuck about the actual stakes of the story. I cared about the lore. I cared about the character arcs of individuals I liked. I knew they'd be fine though, so whenever any opposition appeared I checked out because Torna, the villain team, were a bunch of losers. And I still have this view of them honestly. 60% of the team come off as whiny brats and don’t do much to feel more than that. Even Jin, the cool morally grey character who gives off the illusion of being based. It's a hard sell for me to get invested in sympathetic crest fallen characters who resort to genocide. I’m kinda over that archetype. When Jin was going on about liberation of his people I was intrigued, but then that went in the background in favor of a generic sad backstory, so I lost a bit of interest. Liberation at all cost is a raw motive, simply losing hope isn't. The only member of Torna who is unequivocally a good villain for me is Malos. Because he's just so earnestly and matter of factly a jerk. I love that guy actually. I wish I was as comfortable with myself as Malos is with himself and his inexplicable desire to destroy everything. That’s a self actualized dude if I’ve ever seen one.

Also I've calmed down a bit on Amalthus, and realized that he would be a great villain if he had any charisma at all or a backstory where more than 3 bad things happen to explain being the biggest doomer of all time. If Xenoblade 2 took place in a cyber punk setting, I probably would have been far more engaged. It instead has a Dangan Ronpa air about it where I never really felt hopeless as a player so the theme of hope isn't super strong. Also I played it at a time where all the things it had to say we're of little use to me. I don't need a protagonist like Rex, because I was already Rex at that point in my life. I'm not nearly as much of an Absolute Chad as he is, but I have an adequate amount of hope and faith in others. So the whole central theme being about that was kind of a miss for me. If I played it in 2019, I would have gelled with the game way better. It's still a good central theme to have though and it was wrong of me to begrudge the game over it. And it was wrong to begrudge Rex too. He’s pretty much the perfect protagonist for this game and he shouldn’t be given a demerit for not being Shulk.

But like I said. It's trashy. And I'm even more resistant to that shit than I was 2 years ago. Get this creepy anime shit out of my game please. It's off putting and I think it’s wild that I just kinda brush it off in the past. It’s mainly the material involving Poppy, the child robot character. Someone please call child protective services. The degenerate energy definitely detracts from this game because it creates a tone that doesn't really match the setting and also allows for sleezy scenes that aren't funny at all.

Despite this, I'd say Xenoblade 2 has just as much merit as the first. Timing matters. You aren't going to get as much out of media depending on when you play it in your life. That's just the way it is sometimes. Besides, while I didn't gel with the villains initially, I've always been a fan of the heroes. The party in Xenoblade 2 is just as good as the party in Xenoblade 1. I don't like anyone as much as the better characters in the first game, but 2 does a much better job in spreading the love. I feel like among the main cast only like 2 or 3 get nothing substantial. And I say main cast because this game separates its party a bit differently than the first. You can have up to 12 characters in battle at once and there are around 235 party members at most.

That sounds like too much. And it is. But it's not too bad. I hate how they implement parts, but I can bear with it. Xenoblade 2 separates the party into 4 tiers. Drivers, Canon Blades, Non-Canon Blades, and Super Special Non-Canon Blades. There are only 5 characters you can play as and those are the drivers. But each driver has 1-2 supporting characters that help them fight called Blades. But each driver can have up to 3 blades associated with them. And that's where things get weird. You can get faceless, Non-Canon blades to join your party which have no impact on the story at all and only act to make battle and exploration easier. But some of those non-canon ones are super special and have optional story content you can unlock with them. So canonically there are around 12 actual party members, but if you include the special non canon ones, there are over 30. We are veering into Chrono Cross territory here. Because the special ones get their own quest, they make a bigger impression than the optionals in Cross. It's done way better, but I sort of despise it because of how it's implemented. 20 of these blades you can only get by random chance. I think this is included this way to make each play through a bit special. I do not care. I want all the story content and I don't like replaying these games a bunch. If there was a random way to get them early, I'd be on board. The way it is just ticks me off. I oppose gatcha with every cell of my very being, so to see it implemented for non monetary reasons both confuses and infuriates me. And the way Xenoblade 2 handles its cast is brilliant aside from that. Not all of these individual quest are interesting or worth it, but even when they don't do a ton for characterization, they do well to inform you about the world.

Xenoblade 2 has a team that feels very close. Heart to Hearts return in this game, but instead of them being scenes between two characters that have grown affection for each other throughout the campaign, they are group scenes where they all bond as a team. It's a different flavor, but works better given how much larger the canon party is. You aren't gonna know what the dynamic between Tora and fucking Aeon is, but you know that they get along because the Xenoblade 2 party is a collective that vibes with each other naturally.

Xenoblade 1 is a team that trust each other and that's why helping and commanding your party is a large part of the battles. Xenoblade 2 is a close group of peers. There is no hierarchy, no one is bossing anyone around. Thus there are no tactical options available. That's how I justify the exclusion of the feature anyway. Instead the game kinda wants you to play them all at once in a way, giving you prompts to use their special attacks when they are ready. I don't think it gives off the unity vibes it potentially could be giving off, because it's not enough to make it feel like you are all working together.

Hilarious voice clips are back and I feel they are even more important here. Because of the far larger number of party members, there needs to be ways for them to stand out and feel like they are part of the world. Each character should have their own voice and the persistent mid battle banter makes sure you hear them. And it blows my mind a bit how some banter is between specific members. There are so many permutations of party compositions. It's insane that they made voice clips for only certain selections.

Xenoblade 2 has a lot of great ideas when it comes to managing its party members. It could have been done better and since then, I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if they took this philosophy and applied it in a way I would call: Sane. There were aspects of the first game that I missed while I played the sequel I wish were implemented, but know it couldn’t due to the scope of it being so much larger. It would be nice if we could get the best of both worlds somehow.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is the best of both worlds

I walked into the intimidating winding alley of 2022 expecting to get my clock cleaned by Elden Ring. And I did. I got laid the fuck out. But I did not foresee Xenoblade Chronicles 3 jumping out of a dumpster and shanking me in the back; Piercing an organ that is probably important, as I hobble my way towards futile refuge. Xenoblade 3 came out of nowhere and hit me in a weak spot I didn't know I had. But I'm glad it did. It is an excellent game. And much like the first, it came at the right time for me.

I'm really glad I played Chrono Cross this year because now I know exactly what Xenoblade 3 avoided being. A sequel to a game that already feels complete and slightly tarnishes its legacy by association. Xenoblade 2 could have become the Chrono Cross of this franchise, but platinum dodged its fate by not being a real sequel to Xenoblade 1. It's what I wanted Chrono Cross to actually be. But now you have Xenoblade 3 which is a sequel to Xenoblade 1...AND Xenoblade 2. It has the burden of being the Chrono Cross of 2 games at once. And a lesser game would buckle under that pressure and plead with it’s makers for a lighter load. But the mass of these two RPG juggernauts lay comfortably upon Xenoblade 3's broad and bold shoulders. It does the impossible and merges the best of both worlds.

The story takes the best of both worlds.

I was far more a fan of the tone of the story in Xenoblade 1. There were moments of levity and inherently goofy aspects of the world (looking at you. Immovable Gonzalez). But the gravity of the events transpiring was also treated with respect. 2 had a tone I wasn't a fan of. It had Saturday morning cartoon moments and trashy fan service that felt fairly obtrusive. It made it hard to take anything seriously which didn't help considering how slow of a start 2 has. I still couldn’t take it completely seriously by the end, even though the world of 2 is just as dower as the previous one. But while its main story isn't handled to my liking, it's side stories more than make up for it. The quest lines in 2 have earnest effort placed in them with plot beats, direction, and occasionally voice acting. They aren't just a check list of fetch quest, they are vignettes of engaging world building. There were points in two where I cared more about the side quest than the main one.

3 handles its plot with a tone similar to the first. From the jump, you are presented a grim world that has poisoned the well being of its inhabitants. There are funny characters. It's not doom and gloom constantly. But you feel the plight of the main characters you follow and are left just as in the dark as they are. You feel their confusion. You feel their bitterness. And you cheer for their resolve. And this extends to characters outside of the main party. It is very easy to get invested in the side quest in this game. Even more so than in 2. There are side stories which feel like they should be main content. It honestly feels wild. There are meaningful character arcs which can only be closed off through completion of the major side quest. The main plot of Xenoblade 3 is good. It's not exactly lacking, but it's probably the shortest of the three games and possibly the weakest on its own. But its themes and characters are bolstered by its side quest. It's up to the player to decide if the story is an 8/10 or a 10/10 based on how invested they decide to get into the game. The side quest in 2 are additive, but there are none I would call must plays. The game doesn't expect you to do them still. 3 takes this a step further. Xenoblade 3 is a 52 episode Anime with an episodic structure. Not every chapter is necessary to understand the plot and its not a big deal if you don't catch it when it airs. But it will only come together if you watch every episode and see every concept slowly build upon one another. I like this approach. It's somehow more accessible. People who don't have time play all the side quest can still get a good story. But in order to experience the best Xenoblade plot, you need to earn it. You need to become immersed in Aionios and absorb the culture so you feel the true weight of everything the story has to offer.

The mechanics take the best of both worlds

There's not really a lot of interesting actions you can do during combat in Xenoblade 1. There's strategy to it for sure, but a lot of it comes down to waiting for your arts to cool down. It's built around managing your resources and using them when the time is right. It's not built around chain attacks being the end all be all. It's a simple loop and the challenge comes from trying to maintain it. Visions, encouragement, and party tactics are all things you need to do to keep the battle in your control. It is a reactive battle system.

2 is a bit more complex. You Attack and position correctly to build arts. Cancel attacks and arts with the right timing to build specials. Use specials to build affinity (this is different from the affinity in 1, don’t worry about it). Use arts to do driver combos to extend affinity building. Complete affinity flow to build orbs. Use chain attack to destroy orbs and wipe out the enemy in hilarious fashion. It's far more complicated and only feasible 1/3 of the way through the game. And the game does a poor job of explaining it too. You also need to do a lot of party set up to make it happen. It can be a pain, but when it works it feels great. There's less focus on what the enemy and rest of your party are doing and more about just executing the plan and getting to the chain. It’s a linear path with a lot of steps you need to complete. If you're doing your job correctly, to can steam roll anything in your way. It is a proactive battle system.

Xenoblade 3 gives you options. You Attack and position correctly to build arts. Cancel attacks, arts, and fusion arts to build meter for your chain attack and interlink transformations. From there you can use these options however you want. You can use lv3 interlink to get a guaranteed quality chain attack, or you can use it outright and do more damage at the cost of consistency. You can chain mid combo or set up the combo in the chain. You can use interlink before level 3 to survive or wait to maximize effectiveness of arts. You can do a smash combo to do ridiculous damage or a burst combo to keep the enemy more docile. I’m not going to explain all these terms because I don’t think I need to. The point is, there are a lot of mechanics here, but they don’t lead to one location like in 2. If Xenoblade 1 is defensive and reactive and Xenoblade 2 is offense and proactive, Xenoblade 3 is a perfect fusion of both. You still have tactics you can use to switch up party behavior and you can even switch between party members. It maintains The leader/follower dynamic of the first game while also making sure that hierarchy is fluid and thus everyone feels like equals. Chain attacks are important, and are more meaty than ever, but they aren't the centerpiece end all be all of combat. There are arts that require being aggressive while there are ones that benefit from disengaging. Arts that recharge by waiting and arts that recharge by attacking. There's no one way to play and that's why this is best combat the series has. And best of all, they explain it to you in a manner meant for humans to comprehend.

Xenoblade 3 learns from the problem 2 had with explaining mechanics and gets pretty close to over correcting. This game has an abundance of tutorials which you can access at anytime and are forced to do at many points. It gets a bit overbearing, but it is appreciated. Xenoblade 3 is complex, but it’s begging you to comprehend it. 3 doesn’t just sit in the corner of the classroom and expect everyone in the room to just understand it. 3 does not try to act aloof. It wants to be perceived and will go out of its way to make that happen. And that’s what happened. I clicked with this combat more than either of its predecessors because it combined what they did right, and avoided what they did wrong.

Most importantly, its Party Structure is the best of both worlds

Xenoblade 3 has the best party of any game I've played. I was astounded at how they’re written and implemented. Previous games only had 3 characters on the field at once. 2 cheats by having partner party members you can swap in, so there are technically 6 slots. Xenoblade 3 has 1 slot. Slot implies you can switch things in and out of it. Xenoblade has 6 permanent party members and 1 slot available for placing an undetermined character in. This might mean there's less variety as to who appears on the battle field, but it also means more people appear on the field. 7 characters at a time is an insane feat.

There are 6 main characters in Xenoblade and this the perfect amount of main characters. They are all integral in their contributions to the plot and there is no way the player can mistake that, as they are on screen at all times. I look back at all the other RPGs I've played where the main party is on screen the whole time and they all cap out at 4. I like the cast of Bug Fables more than any cast in any Paper Mario game, because they are always there. The party is small, but they are always present and you buy them growing as a team throughout the game. The down side is that you only get 3 main characters for your dozens of hours spanning adventure. Anymore than 4 playable characters at once has the potential for things to get slow and messy. If Earthbound had 1.5 times as many decisions I had to make for any given battle, I would not have gotten through it. The thing about these games is that they are turn based. Xenoblade games are not. You aren't making every single decision, so the only downside to having more party members is that there can sometimes be more to react to than you are comfortable with.

Xenoblade 3 manages to get away with the exact amount of characters a human being can be comfortable with on screen. 7 is the lucky number, and 6 of those 7 are the ones you're following the whole time. There is no abstraction anymore. This is the crew. This is Ouroboros. You will not get to a point at the end of the game where they all stand together triumphant, recounting all the adventures they had together despite only half of them actually doing anything. That doesn't happen. They were all there for everything. No one is left out. Every battle hard fought, every inch of the map explored, every weird conversation with an NPC. Those were all moments they experienced together and there are no gaps for your brain to fill in because you saw it.

So already you have the makings for a stand out RPG party on that concept alone. But here's how they take it further. The love isn't equally divided between the party in JUST combat. While Noah is clearly the main character, every member of Ouroboros has about as much to do in the plot. This is an ensemble. Characters just don't have one moment and then sit on the sidelines to watch the male and female leads take the reigns when anything important happens. Xenoblade 3 is free from the curse that has plagued the franchise since Xenogears. If a single one of the 6 just left the story for a chapter, they would have eaten shit and there would be no game to play. They are all imperative and treated as such. This does not become the Noah and Mio show. Every piece is integral to the well oiled machine that is Ouroboros. Each character is lovable and multilayered and they are brought together through the perfect ludo-narrative device: Fusion.

Hey! Who remembers Digimon Adventure 02? I know I do. I probably remember far too much in fact. And a lot of what I remember about it is mid. But one good thing I remember is that Black War Greymon vs War Greymon was a raw as fuck fight. But another good thing I remember is DNA Digivolution. The gimmick here is that the Digimon can fuse together to achieve exponential power. But they can't do that unless the two tamers can get along and find common ground. I love this because it's a way to solve issues by facilitating not just character growth, but character bonds. 02 would have episodes where two tamers are butting heads, but are forced to work together, find common ground, and combine their Digimon into a cool new Digimon that they can market the new toys for.

This isn't just a ploy for me to go off about how cool Digimon is. If it was, I would just talk about Digimon Tamers, which is an unmistakable masterpiece even by today’s standards. I bring it up because Xenoblade 3 applied this exact same concept. Party members are forced to set aside their differences in order to unlock their interlinked forms: weird eva unit looking abominations that can change the game when used effectively. It's a beautiful thing to set aside your ego and become part of a collective with someone you don't see eye to eye with. There's fighting together, and then there's this. It’s like the next level of Dual Techs from Chrono Trigger. I once thought that tag team attacks were the deepest form of intimacy. And in regards to real life, I still do. But in fiction, there’s no better bonding experience than literally bonding together, activating a chain attack, and cuing a sick as hell 45 second stock animation for your attack finisher. If that isn’t the rawest form of kinship to you, I don’t know what else to tell you.

The true beauty of these interlinked pairings is how being saddle together through their roles in story and gameplay affects their dynamics. There is a truly resonate bond formed in each of these pairings and it's genuine because they show it. Xenoblade 3 is not interested in telling. Only showing. You see each step of their relationships grow in and out of battle and it feels earned. But the interlinked pairs are far from the only ones who have great dynamics. Much like Xenoblade 1, 3 gives you a pretty good idea of what it's like when two characters interact and makes it clear how they feel about each other. 1 did it using Heart to Hearts. I'm not gonna knock Heart to Hearts, as the dialogue they provide has value. But Xenoblade 3 has out grown them. Any important dialogue you'd like to hear between two characters, you'll hear during a cutscene from a side quest. Xenoblade 3 has you covered on that end. If there was any analogue for them in 3, I’d say the camping scenes are a valid replacement.

When you rest at a camping spot, you are meant to cook food to raise your stats, level up, craft gems, and chat about side quest. But in the background while selecting these options, is the party, hanging out with each other. You are shown scenes of them during their down time, showing how they act at their most vulnerable. And this is where the dynamics which aren't focused on shine the brightest. Look at Mio and Lanz. They don't have too much discussion in the main story and not a lot during side quest either. But what is there, is a scene of them washing dishes together, smiling and having a pleasant conversation. No dialogue because that's not necessary. Their dynamic is pronounced through this one activity. They are the Mom and Dad of the group. It makes perfect sense given their backgrounds. Mio is the oldest one there, and as such, feels the most responsibility and slides into the den mother role with ease. Lanz is the strongest guy in the party and has trauma regarding not being able to take care of people he cares about, and as such is extremely protective. They are the care takers of ouroboros. While the rest of them are relaxing and goofing off, they are doing the chores no one feels like doing and are doing it gladly. And it makes sense for them to have this dynamic given their game play roles. They are both tanks. It's their job to make sure no one gets hurt at the cost of their own safety. They put themselves last and everyone else first. So them just doing chores while keeping an eye on the rest of the gang makes perfect sense. There’s so much you can extract from this one scene.

And that's why Heart to Hearts are obsolete. 3 gives you this kind of content so regularly, that the entire game is one big heart to heart. You are shown how they interact with each other in the most relaxed and the most tense situations. And while there's no affinity you need to build to earn these moments, there are mechanics which are still founded upon building bonds. Every party member has a signature class with it's own unique role and abilities. But it's not exclusive to them. By interacting with characters in battle any main party member can learn any class from another member. And once a character learns that class they can master it, which leads to permanent skills being learned for them. As the characters fight together and bond, they learn from one another and it leads to permanent growth. It's the evolution of the affinity system in 1, but has far larger gameplay ramifications. This does wonders for making the main 6 feel closer, but really shines in regards to that 7th party member slot I've neglected thus far.

Xenoblade 3 implements a Scooby Doo approach to its party design. By that, I mean you have a party slot available for a guest character. The only slot you can swap characters in and out of. There are heroes you meet throughout your journey that have the option of venturing with you. These people are fixtures of the world that represent a culture. They have responsibilities, which is why they aren't with the party in the same way the other 6 are. Whichever hero you have selected is the one with free time to help you guys out. And while this hero is in the party, any of Ouroboros can learn their class. So while in terms of character you only have 1 slot, in terms of classes you have 7 for the 26 classes you can choose. Given that you can repeat classes, that's hundreds of thousands of potential party compositions. The guest party member slot allows for the modularity and variety available in Xenoblade 2, while also keeping the same close knit aspect of Xenoblade 1. The guest party member will never eclipse or get more screen time than a main character. The Scooby Doo frame work is the culmination of what the previous games were working towards.

This should come as no surprise, but the party banter is back. And it’s implemented in about the same way as the other games. But I would say this is the one aspect that it drops the ball in reference to it’s predecessors. Xenoblade 1 has a wider variety of voice lines when it comes to its primary cast and 2 has a wider variety for its secondary cast. Xenoblade 3 has probably the most aggressive voice clip repetition in the franchise and it can get grating at times. But there is one area where I think it shines. And that’s during chain attacks. Chain attacks are different for every game, but they all converge in that it pretty much turns the game into a turn based RPG for a duration. And in 3, each time it’s a character’s time to attack, they get a voice clip. This adds a level of predictability to the voice lines that I ended up really appreciating. Because some of these voice lines are delightful, and to be able to have some control over when they say them, rather than it being completely random, is a blessing. Some of these voice lines I will never tire of. I have selected Sena to start off a chain attack, just so I can hear her say “Yippie”. It brings a pure light to my callous caliginous soul every time I hear it. I am physically unable to hear Mio say “Your Fate Was Sealed When You Rose Against Us!” and not compulsively whisper under my breath “god, that shit is so raw”. I don’t really have a point as to how this adds to the party building, I just wanted to mention this before I finish this behemoth of a write up.

Xenoblade 3 is a near perfect synthesis of what came before it. Almost to a fault. The game lacks a bit of identity in some areas because it's a clear combination of the other two games. That’s why most of this is me musing about those games. But if that's the sacrifice it had to make in order to be what I believe is the definitive blue print for future Action RPG party structure, I'll fuckin take it. There is so much more of this game I could have written about, but this is the aspect that I found most interesting to dissect.

Parties might be the main aspect of JRPGs I’m drawn towards. I like the mechanics of course. I like roleplaying. But seeing a group of characters journey together and overcome is kind of what I need sometimes. That’s probably why I keep bouncing off Fallout. Because it feels like I’m just playing as dude wandering about. And I can already do that whenever I want. We may not always have people around to go on adventures with. I know I don’t. So it’s comforting to experience that through video games when you can’t outside of them. And that’s why I appreciate Xenoblade 3 so much. It did everything it could to breathe life into its party. I think through how it handled its party mechanics I was able to feel a level of investment that allowed me to really pick up what the game was putting down. A lot of people have issues with the nitty gritty of Xenoblade 3’s story and honestly I would have those same issues if I wasn't vibing with it so hard for the 140 hours I played it. Because I was resonant with its characters, I was resonant with its core essence. There are a lot of issues I have with Xenoblade 3 that I didn't go over. Those aren't important right now. For the time being I am interlinked with Xenoblade 3, and I think I am better for it.

[hoebaring]

Diamond Heart (1) | Park Jimin

Su-Jin POV

'...And the winner of the Best Natural Award of 2018 is.....LEE SU-JIN!'

'...And the winner of the Best Eye Makeup of 2019 is.....LEE SU-JIN!'

'...And the winner of the Best Men's Makeup of 2020 is.....LEE SU-JIN!'

As the previous years' award ceremonies replayed in my mind, I am sitting here, waiting for this years awards' to be handed out. Since I have been given the title of the youngest award winner for three consecutive years, expectations were very high, making me just as nervous as the first time.

"Welcome to the IBI Award Ceremony of 2021! Firstly, I would like to acknowledge the contestants of this year's competition. Each and every one of them have worked so hard to get into this contest and have submitted their best works. All of them have been given their deserved points....so good luck to everyone!"

Once the host had finished the introduction, he started announcing the winners of each group. This year I have registered for only one category, Best Onstage Makeup, which is, unfortunately, the last one to be announced.

'Great, just when I thought my anxiety couldn't get worse.'

"And, last but not the least, Best Onstage Makeup. We've received a large amount of submission, in particular, for this category. It became quite hard for our judges to choose a person for this award. It was a close call, but the winner of the Best Onstage Makeup of 2021 is....."

As I saw my fellow contenders eyeing the trophy, I immediately knew that they have the same thought as me, to win. This could lead to many opportunities in the future. Obviously everyone wanted to win.

"...LEE SU-JIN!!"

'Huh, what? My name...oh wait, did I win the award?!'

Just when I was questioning myself if I had won or not, the host called me on to the dais to receive the trophy from the Chief Guest. I stood up from my seat, and slowly, started walking to the stage. I bowed to both the chief guest and the anchor, and turned to face the audience.

Everyone started applauding as the Chief Guest handed me the trophy. Even though I was excited to the core, I still had to keep my cool. I gave the most professional smile I could ever give and bowed again to the both of them. As I was descending the stairs, I could feel someone staring at me from before, but I just shrugged it off, thinking it was one of the younger contestants, looking at me with admiration.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

"Eomma, tell Abeoji as well. I need to go now. I have to eat dinner."

"Yeah, ok Sujin-ah. I'll call you later. Bye!"

"Bye Eomma!"

I sat down after I cut the call with my mother. It was a very lengthy conversation. Yet again, it was part of my daily routine. Talk to her about my day, her day, what she did today, how her neighbor annoyed her to the peaks, and that stuff. It never was burdensome for me to talk to my mom. Today, in addition to our usual talk, I also had to fill her in about about how the competition went, or she would not let me be. I quickly finished eating and put all the dishes in the sink.

'Oh god, I am not in the mood to clean these now. I'll just do it in the morning.' 

I laid down on my fluffy bed and gazed at my ceiling. It was a habit of mine, whenever I was trying to process everything that happened on that day. From, the nervousness and anxiousness I felt in the beginning, to the happiness and the euphoria I felt when I was on the dais, everything replayed like a short film on the plain, white ceiling.

Although I was delighted with the fact I won, a thought still lingered on my mind. Was I as happy as I was at my first win? Was I as excited as I was when everyone applauded for me back then? What happened? What changed? Was it the amount of times I won, that made me lose the excitement? 

That does not mean I was overconfident. I was content and satisfied with my effort and my result. The amount of hard work I put in to this gave the best outcome I could have ever hoped for. 

But, somewhere, I could feel the difference. And the only reason I could think of, was, maybe once you've received or had something for a long time, you start to take it for granted. And maybe, that is why I might have not felt the same amount of happiness I felt back then, compared to now. 

Maybe that's why I never take people for granted.

Maybe that's why one should never take people for granted.

[chaeryybomb]

"did you guys break up?"

pairing: hwang hyunjin x female reader

genre: established relationship, fluff

word count: 0.6k

featuring: lee felix, han jisung & yang jeongin

warning: nothing, just fluff, kjfhkdjsf don't let the title fool you, inspired by that one scene in horimiya

a/n: hi lol *drops this and runs*

"Felix!" Hyunjin's popped his head into his room. Felix, who was in the middle of game, removed his headphones too look up. "Can I borrow a hair tie? I forgot where I placed mine."

"Oh yeah, sure," he replied. Reaching over his desk, he took a simple black hair tie from his vast collection of hair ties (courtesy of Changbin) and handed it to Hyunjin.

"Thanks," Hyunjin immediately said before he is dashing out of the door, leaving Felix no time to react. Felix just shrugged and returned back to his game.

Hyunjin ran his fingers through his hair, then he gathered it into ponytail as he walked into the elevator. He checked the time on his phone and inwardly cursed. This morning you had called him to come over for lunch. You said you had something to show him. It was way passed lunch time because he got caught in dance practice.

Oh you were so going to kill him.

"You're late," your little brother was the one who answered the door.

"I know, I know," Hyunjin sighed as he took off his shoes. "Is she mad?" He asked.

Your brother shrugged. "No idea, she hasn't come out since breakfast," he told him before retreating back to his room.

Confused, Hyunjin walked into the living room of the apartment. "Y/N, I'm here!" He announced.

"Coming," he heard you say.

While waiting, Hyunjin let himself into the kitchen for a drink. He heard a door close and he assumed it was you. The sound of footsteps was then heard as he was pouring himself a glass of water. "Sorry I was late, I-"

Hyunjin almost dropped the glass in his hands when he finally saw you.

"Oh god, I knew it looked bad," you groaned when you saw his reaction.

He scrambled the words out of his mouth and immediately went to you. "No, no, I was just surprised. It looks great!" He assured you.

But the frown on your face grew deeper and you groaned in frustration. "Don't lie, I know it looks bad," you grabbed your head and walked back into the living room with Hyunjin trailing after you.

"I told them I just wanted a trim but I got caught up talking with the hairstylist that I didn't realised they cut it shorter than I wanted," you flung yourself into the couch and cried in your hands.

You felt bad telling the hairstylist you didn't like your hair, so you just swallowed in the complain and thanked them. At first you thought it'd look okay but the longer you stared at your reflection, the more weird it looked on you. God, you miss your old hairstyle so much.

Hyunjin sat next to you and you felt his hand rubbing your back in small circles. "It really doesn't look bad, I swear. I mean you look good in anything," he said.

Sniffling, you removed your hands and looked up to him. "Really?"

"Yeah," He reassured you with a kiss to your forehead. "Plus, I've been meaning to change my hair too."

"Did you guys break up?" Was the first thing that left Han Jisung's mouth when the two of you entered the dorm. He was on the couch with Jeongin, watching some cartoon on the TV.

"What? Of course not!" Hyunjin glared, offended that Jisung even said that as he pulled you closer with an arm around your shoulder.

"Then what's with the new..." Jisung trailed off, motioning both of your new hairstyles.

"It's a couple thing, you wouldn't know since you're lonely and single," Hyunjin childishly stuck his tongue out at him.

"Hey!"

"Plus even if we did break up, which will never happen by the way, why would Y/N come over?"

"To see me because she loves me, duh."

"Shut up, Jeongin."

© chaeryybomb 2022

a/n: *goes back to disappear for another month*