#like.....okay he works a 9-5 and she is risking her life

[angelsaxis]

hey aint it crazy that in the cishet marriage contract, especially as its taught in conservative circles, the man owes the woman money (eh) and protection (In this day and age? unlikely) and the woman owes the man sex and children and food and a clean home and companionship and nursing and mothering. notice how "owing" means she's in the wrong for denying sex, and she can die trying to create children. especially in this terrible country. this contract is uneven.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully and mulder moments from s2

when they aren’t supposed to talk to each other anymore in the first episode because the x files were disbanded, so they came up with a code to know when to meet up

(and mulder at first is very annoyed that she wants to risk being seen with him because she’s deeply concerned about how distant he’s acting… “so what did you want?” “to see if you’re alright”. him trying to grapple with being cared for vs her trying to figure out why he won’t let her in. yeah.)

((and she runs her fingers through his hair at this covert meeting, after he confesses he’s lost all faith))

when she finds him, in the same episode, passed out on the floor of a random puerto rican jungle compound, and he grabs her by the shoulders, saying he saw the same aliens that took his sister

another covert meeting in episode 2, after moody mulder thinks he was moved to a case just to keep him busy: “is this seat taken?” she asks. “no, but I should warn you I am experiencing violent impulses” “well, i’m armed, so I’ll take my chances”

(and right after, when he said he wants to leave the FBI, but working with her is his only reason to stay)

“i’d consider it more than a professional loss if you decided to leave” <- sobbing. for ten thousand years.

episode 3, when she flew 300 miles in the middle of the night to draw his blood. couldn’t anyone else have done that? no. it needed to be Her.

(there’s another, very brief scene towards the end of episode 3, where she peeks over his shoulder and the height difference is incredible)

scully stopping her class because she gets a call from him, then flying up to New York to do an autopsy for him. and when they see each other they both smile SO big it’s adorable, even as she is holding a human stomach. krychek seems confused. he wouldn't understand, would he?

and then flying in AGAIN to try and help mulder during his hostage negotiation with duane barry in episode 5, getting furious when she is told to “calm down” while he is in danger

when she finally wakes up from her coma in episode 8- how she yells at her mom for calling him “fox”, how he brings her a VHS tape of superbowl highlights and she deadpans “i knew there was a reason to live”

(and he finally gives her necklace back- but then he leaves, despite wanting nothing more than to stay by her side, to let her be with family)

in episode 9, when they are finally back together, mulder tries to get her to stay home from this investigation to keep her safe, because he's terrified of her getting hurt again: “scully, i don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go”, he says, but she’s too stubborn to be stopped, and he realizes it’s an impossible fight

(later, they engage in an intense scientific argument over the existence of silicon based life forms, and it feels deeply charged)

another reassurance in episode 9 that she is okay despite what she has gone through: “i’m back and I’m not going anywhere” (shoulder grab!!!!) “i'm counting on you” (lingering eye contact!!!!)

when he returns from his mission to find scully handcuffed, having just saved herself with some quick thinking, and she has to comfort HIM at the sight of her in distress: “i'm okay, i’m okay”, she repeats, while he gently grabs her face, and seems to ignore everything she is saying to ask if she’s alright

(and the month long quarantine that ensued, which we saw none of, but the fact that it happened at all is lovely to me)

sharing an umbrella in episode 10!!!!! it’s really the simple things in life you know!!!

going out on a rib date… he wipes the sauce off of her face, then goes into explaining how a new spirit can take over a body

when mulder’s sense of injustice is going off that episode, so he leaves the restaurant to defend a kid being bullied, and when scully follows the mean kid taunts him by saying “why don’t you run along with the little wife?” and neither of them react (except for a few moments later when he’s staring intently at her, and it looks like he is considering the possibility)

(bursting into her motel room) “scully? you’re not gonna believe this” <- he said the line!!!! (and she could believe it, because she had figured it out on her own)

exchanging theories on murders and repression of memories: “i seem to recall you having some pretty extreme hunches”, she says, and he replies “i never have”. they both smile in the quiet of driving along a small town road.

when mulder narrowly escapes having his throat slit, and after scully nearly shot the woman holding him hostage, she runs to him and carefully cradles his head while he’s still on the floor…. oh the tenderness. i actually might fall apart.

thinking they will have free time on their trip to Minnesota in episode 13, he bought them tickets to a football game <3 and they didn’t get to go but it was SUCH a nice thought

mulder noticing that scully is in extreme distress while looking at the victims of the killings in episode 13,  but trying to give her space to admit that she is terrified; “scully, if you’re having trouble with this case, I want you to tell me” “I’m not having trouble”, she lies, and he answers “i just don’t want you to think you have to hide anything from me” oughhh.... </3

and when the killer who terrified her so awfully kidnaps her, and mulder arrives to find her, she insists that she’s okay despite shaking like a leaf, until he lifts her chin up. only then does she start sobbing into his chest, while he mumbles “it’s alright, it’s alright” to her. ohhh, the vulnerability hits hard here, especially because she had just said she didn’t want him to feel like he had to protect her! as if there was ever going to be any other option; he is the protector and he will protect what he loves, it’s all he knows

taking the little kid they meet at the refugee camp in episode 15 to get lunch, because one thing these two are gonna do is get any youth they encounter some food. and mulder gives him money for extra fries because he WILL spoil any random child.

she cuts her hand on a thorny branch left in their car, and when mulder says “let me see that”, she replies that it is nothing, trying to deny him any chance to be concerned. then when she starts feeling very ill, she keeps telling him its fine, because for some reason the doctor cannot doctor herself.

(he goes off to get the bad guy, and she is in the car hallucinating. when she finally breaks free from the clutches of evil, he’s lying on the ground, having been… like, psychically stabbed? and still. his first question when he sees her is. “you’re okay?” aughhhhhhhhh)

that time mulder was actively dying of alien poison in episode 17, so she barged in and started yelling at the doctor to get his shit together, because she knew what to do and he didn’t. and she manages to save him.

mulder agreeing to trade who he thought was his sister for scully in a hostage deal, then saying he couldn’t have told her it was his sister because he knew scully would never have let him go through with it... the terrible pain of knowing somebody so well, you know they'd endanger themselves for you...

after scully saves his life by figuring out how to treat his alien poison, she stays by his bed and gently strokes his hair. and when he opens his eyes, she was holding his arm. she smiles and says “thanks for ditching me”, to which he replies that he found his faith again (<3)

seasick mulder fumbling for words in episode 19, while she tries to see if he's feeling any better: “you’re lucky you inherited your father’s legs” “what?” “his SEA legs” (scully laughs while he is in ocean-induced misery)

when they take shifts watching the suspicious guy on the boat that makes you old, his alarm goes off to indicate his shift was over. he goes to wake scully up and switch off, she mumbles something about having just fallen asleep, and he offers to give her a little bit longer to rest. so sweet.

exchanging magic tricks while investigating the sideshow performers in florida in episode 20- her making it look like the cricket came from behind his ear, him pretending to make the nail suddenly appear

“we’re exhuming your potato” “may i ask why?” (she goes into a convincing explanation on searching for evidence, he ruins it by interrupting to say “we found out you used to be a dog-faced boy”)

episode 21: “see, this is a helium balloon, and the one thing i did learn in kindergarten is that when you let them go, they float up, up, and away” “did you learn about wind in kindergarten?” (she is funny and she doesn’t get enough credit for that!)

and episode 24: iI just came up with a sick theory, mulder” “ooh, I’m listening”

mulder brushing her hair back, asking if she is okay after nearly getting decapitated

and who can forget episode 25, the season finale, when mulder is collapsing into her arms, delirious with fever and covered in his father’s blood; she lays him down in her bed, placing a cold compress on his forehead. ��we’ve got to find out who killed my father” “right now you need to rest. it’s okay” what if i started yelling

him waking up after she had to put him in a coma for damage control: “you shot me >:(” “yes, i did” (patiently explains how she saved his life about 3 times in 72 hours, including by shooting him)

him thanking her for taking care of him; her asking him to find out what the files he's determined to understand say about her disappearance

[sissylittlefeather]

This is the Story

Chapter 9

A/N: This one was fun to write. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Special thanks, as always, to my besties @ccab and @elvisfatass for all their help in bringing this story to life!

ICYMI: this is the one with the OC Grace Dubois, author and single mom of 6 year old Wendy. Need to catch up? Here are the links:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI! Kissing, cussing, fingering, oral (both receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, also violence (fistfight) and death threat, and an asshole talking to and touching Grace in a way she doesn't want

Word count: 3kish

Still song inspo:

He can put his own feelings aside to make sure nothing happens to them.

******

"Mr. Marshall, my name is Colonel Tom Parker."

"Yeah, and who are you?"

"I'm the manager for Mr. Elvis Presley."

"Why are you calling me?"

"I'm led to believe you were once in a relationship with a woman named Grace Dubois?"

"Is this about the photograph?"

"It is indeed. Do you know your daughter is calling him 'daddy'?"

"What the fuck? Why are you telling me this?"

"I believe we may have a common goal..."

******

After a week of nothing happening, Grace begins to relax. She's still sleeping in Lisa's room with Wendy, but everyday she gets closer to apologizing to Elvis. He's been so kind to let them stay with him and despite being in the same house, she misses him desperately. Still, she knows that she hurt him with what she said, but she's not entirely sure she was wrong. What would happen when he went back to Vegas or on tour? She can't afford to take the risk that he'll fall back into his old patterns. But it doesn't change the fact that she loves him and every time they meet in the hallway she wants nothing more than to fall apart in his arms. There are several moments when it feels like they're right on the cusp of reconciliation, but something always happens to get in the way. Either he's called away or she has somewhere to be or Wendy needs her. They continue working on the book in cool cooperation, him looking at her longingly anytime she's not paying attention and her praying that this time she'll find the strength to apologize.

At the beginning of the second week, Elvis turns to Grace as she packs up her notebook. She thinks he's about to say something about the situation they're in, but he doesn't.

"I'm going to be back in the studio tonight."

"Tonight? For how long?"

"Until we finish, but it could be every night for the next few weeks. I just wanted to let you know I won't be around much."

"Oh." Then a thought occurs to her.

"But what if Richard shows up?"

"Grace, it's been a week and nothing has happened. I think you'll be okay."

"Do you want us to leave?"

"No. Of course not. I just think you'll be okay here by yourself."

"I have to go to the store tonight."

"Do you want to take Jerry with you?"

"No. I'll be okay. I just... I don't want to be here without you." She looks at him, her eyes shiny with tears. The possibility of Richard showing up isn't the only reason she wants him there. He flexes his hand in an attempt to keep from touching her face.

"I'm sorry. I have to do this album. The studio is struggling and I'm hoping by recording there I can breathe some life back into it. And we already started recording back in the summer before... I just have to finish it."

"You have to do what you have to do." She finishes packing up and walks out of the room. From the hallway, she hears him cuss and slam his fist on the desk.

Maybe it's time for them to move back to the apartment.

******

When Elvis gets to Stax, he has a moment of concern about Grace and Wendy alone at the house, but he tells himself he doesn't need to worry. She's a grown woman and everyday it seems like she needs him less and less. It might be time for him to move on with his life without her. The thought causes a lump to form in his throat, but he swallows it quickly and gets to work. The album isn't going to record itself.

******

It's almost dark when Grace and Wendy come back from their shopping trip. Grace is reluctant to go back to the big, empty house. She knows Elvis and the mafia guys have gone to the studio by now.

As she pulls up to the gate, she notices a man standing against it. That's strange, since most of Elvis's fans are female. When he approaches the car, though, her heart drops into her stomach.

"Well, well. So the rumors are true."

"What are you doing here, Richard?"

"I've come to collect what's mine." He gestures to Wendy, who looks up at him quizzically.

"Who are you?" She says it sassily.

"I'm your daddy, baby." She sneers defiantly.

"No. My daddy is Elvis Presley. I don't know who you are." He hisses and turns to Grace.

"Did you tell her that? You fucking him doesn't make him her father."

"Well, you're not either. Go home Richard."

"My name's on her birth certificate. I know you don't want me to take you to court." Grace's blood runs cold. She knew this would happen. He reaches through the open window and strokes her face.

"Come on, honey, don't you remember how good we were together? You look good."

"Stop it, Richard. Don't call me honey." She closes her eyes and wills him to go away, but he doesn't.

"I bet you let him call you honey when he fucks you." She turns to him with angry tears in her eyes. Just then, a guard comes up to the them, shiny gun on his hip.

"Is there a problem here?" Grace nods.

"Yes, please let me go through the gates and make sure he doesn't follow me." The guard nods and tries to escort Richard away from the car. He shakes the guard's hand off of him.

"Don't fucking touch me." Then he turns back to Grace as the gates open. "I'm not going anywhere, honey. I'll get what I came for, one way or another."

Grace speeds through the gates and up to the house.

"Mama, what's wrong? Who was that man?"

Grace is shaking as the tears run down her face. She turns to Wendy.

"Don't worry about him, sweetie. He's no one." Wendy nods slowly and they get out of the car, leaving the shopping on the backseat. Grace ushers Wendy upstairs to bed and goes directly to the telephone.

******

"Elvis. I'm sorry to bother you..."

"Grace, what's wrong?" He can tell by her voice that she's upset.

"Richard is here. He's at the gates and he wants Wendy. I don't know what to do." He can hear her sniffing through the phone and knows she's crying.

"Stay inside, honey, I'm coming." He hangs up the phone and turns to the guys.

"We gotta go."

"Elvis, we're right in the middle of-"

"I said we need to go. Now." Elvis rushes to the car and the guys pile in with Jerry in the front seat.

"Is it Grace?"

"Her ex is at the gates." Jerry raises his eyebrows.

"Shit."

******

Grace watches out the window for Elvis's car to pull up to the gates. When it does, he gets out of the car with the guys. She walks out the front door and down the driveway to see and hear what's about to happen.

Richard is still leaning against the gates.

"If it isn't the man himself." He says mockingly to Elvis. Grace can tell by Elvis's body language that that was the wrong thing to say to him.

"Listen here, motherfucker. You leave Grace and Wendy alone." Grace's hand goes to her throat. She's not sure how this is going to go.

"Or what?" Elvis takes two steps and grabs the front of Richard's shirt and punches him hard. When he stands back up, he swings and lands one good shot on Elvis's nose before the mafia guys swoop in to hold him. Grace gasps. She starts to tingle as she watches Elvis beat the living shit out of Richard. Her heart races and her breathing speeds up.

As Elvis continues to deck him, he yells.

"You abandoned your pregnant fiancée, Dick." He lands another hit.

"You are no kind of father." And another.

"You are no kind of man." And another.

By this point Richard is only vertical because the mafia guys are holding him, but he's not unconscious. Elvis holds his shirt again and gets frighteningly close, but he's still loud enough for Grace to hear.

"And if you ever come around Grace or Wendy ever again, I'll shoot you in the face. Do you understand me?" He nods and whimpers. Elvis throws him on the ground by his shirt front in disgust.

Grace lets out a tiny moan at the sight. Her worry for Elvis is overpowered by another, stronger experience. The scene that just played out made her blood run to her core and she needs to put her own hands on Elvis as quickly as possible.

The gates open and he walks up to her, flexing his knuckles gingerly.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, honey."

"I'm not." She whispers breathily. He smiles and throws his arm around her shoulders as they make their way up to the house together.

******

Once inside, they go to the kitchen. Elvis has a bloody nose from the one punch Richard was able to land, so Grace gets a wet towel to clean him up. She stands between his knees and gently dabs at his face with the towel. When she finishes, she lays the towel on the counter behind him, looking into his eyes deeply.

"Thank you."

"I don't think we'll be hearing from him again."

Simultaneously, he puts his hands on her hips and she leans in and presses her lips against his. He pulls back and kisses her again with his lips parted, letting his tongue slide into her mouth. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in close. They stay entwined like this for a while, tongues dancing against each other and bodies pressed together.

Eventually, Elvis stands up and scoops Grace into his arms like a bride. She giggles and he carries her upstairs to the bedroom. Neither of them has to say anything to know this is what they both want.

When they get into the room, Elvis lays Grace on the bed gently. He begins to undress her slowly, kissing each part of her as he does, starting with her shoes. He slides her pants down and kisses each of her thighs.

"You have beautiful legs, honey." She smiles as he plants more kisses along her calf. He moves back up, lifting her shirt and kissing her stomach softly. Then he runs both hands up her back and pulls her shirt up over her head. She's a beautiful woman, but she's even more attractive to him because of the way he feels about her. He tries to show this in the way he kisses her neck and shoulder gently. He lifts her delicate hand to his lips, pressing soft kisses into her palm.

"I love your hands." He thinks of how they flit across the page like butterfly wings as she writes. He moves back up her arm and slides the straps of her bra off her shoulders and kisses down to her nipple. He pulls the left one into his mouth softly and then lets his lips ghost over her skin as he moves across to the other one. He continues to worship her body with his mouth as he removes her bra and panties completely. As she lays there naked in front of him, he's overwhelmed with affection for every aspect of her. The way he loves her physical body is just an expression of the love he has for the rest of her. He gently runs his fingertips from her cheek, down her neck, to her chest, and on down her hip and leg. Finally, he situates himself between her legs.

The whole time he undresses her, she revels in the tenderness of his hands, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. Her arousal grows with every kiss and she needs him more and more, but not just physically. She needs his love, his adoration, and all of him in every way.

When he presses his mouth to her center, her back arches and she moans his name softly. He licks slow circles around her clit, pressing his tongue into her slit and then licking back up to the spot that makes her wild.

"You taste so good, honey." He whispers it into her and the subtle vibration makes her crazy. He continues moving his tongue over and around her, sliding two of his long fingers into her pussy, pressing them as far in as they'll go before tickling the inside of her. She gasps and he begins to move his tongue faster over and around her clit.

"Oh god, Elvis." She moans again, throwing her head back and closing her eyes. She's just on the cusp of her orgasm and he can tell by the way she flutters around him.

"Come for me, honey." She whines as her orgasm washes over her in waves of pulsating pleasure, wetness spilling out of her as he continues to run his tongue over her clit. She puts her hand in his hair, assuming he's going to stop, but he doesn't. He just keeps right on licking and teasing her sensitive bud until it tightens again and she feels a second orgasm overtake her.

"Fuck, Elvis!" When he still doesn't stop, Grace pats the top of his head and whimpers.

"One more, honey." His speech is a little slurred from the use of his tongue, but he presses on. Grace is sweating, her hands clenching the bedspread as he refuses to give up licking, fingering, and tongue-fucking her.

Finally, she comes a third time, wetness splashing out of her this time as she moans loudly. Elvis smiles and kisses back up her body as she tries to catch her breath. He lays on the bed next to her, also breathing heavily.

She rolls over to him and, despite her shaking hands, practically rips his clothes off of him. Once he's naked, she takes his cock in her hand and strokes it gently. Then, she bends over and pulls the whole thing into her mouth.

"Fuck, Grace." He moans as she moves up and down on him. He wraps his fingers in her hair and holds it up while she drags her tongue up and down his shaft. Then, she pulls his foreskin back and makes slow circles on his sensitive head. He whimpers and throws his head back. Just when he can't stand that any longer, she pulls all of him into her mouth, pressing her nose into the hair at the base of him.

"God, Grace, if you don't stop..."

"Mhmm?" The feeling of her lips around him when she hums almost pushes him over the edge, but then she pulls off of him, sucking the tip with a small pop.

He acts like he's going to roll over on top of her, but she pushes him down on the bed.

"No."

She climbs on top of him and sinks onto his cock slowly, taking in every inch of him.

"Fuckkkk yes, honey." He groans as she begins to bounce up and down on him. After a minute of this, she switches to grinding into him, pushing him deeper and deeper inside her. She equals his relentlessness in her pursuit of his orgasm. She wants to give herself to him fully and make him come as hard as she did. He reaches up and cups her breasts with his hands as he rides him, flicking his thumbs over her nipples. Then, he moves his hands down to her hips and moves with her as she winds her body back and forth on top of him. Finally, he can't stand it anymore and he tumbles headfirst over a cliff of pleasure, cussing and shuddering and filling her with his release.

"Fuck, yes, Grace, yes." He says through gritted teeth as he comes. She leans over and rests her body on his as he wraps his arms around her. When she sits up, he pushes her hair back out of her face and looks up at her softly.

"I'm sorry-" she begins, but he puts his finger on her lips and shakes his head.

"I love you so much. I've never loved anyone like this. You have me, body and soul, honey." Her eyes fill with tears again, but this time they don't fall.

"And I'm yours, Elvis."

She lays next to him and nuzzles into his shoulder, as he leans over and kisses her forehead, both of them determined to never let anything come between them again.

******

Chapter 10 coming soon!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @ashtag6887 @aliypop @your-nanas-house @dkayfixates @everythingelvispresley @xanatenshi @returntopresley @p0lksaladannie @deniseinmn @jaqueline19997 @that-hotdog @18lkpeters @joshuntildawn13 @rjmartin11 @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69

[milimeters-morales]

gonna start posting completed chapters from my transfem miles fic (Becoming Myself In Truth) on here for fun :3 this is the first chapter

Chapter Two / Chapter Three / Chapter Four / Chapter 5 / Chap 6 / Chap 7 / Chap 8 / Chap 9

Wordcount: 4k+

Pairings: Milesganke, not the focus. Every other relationship in this entire fic is platonic and/or familial.

Warnings: References to Underaged Smoking (Not Miles)

When Scorpion shows up, freshly broken out of prison and with a newer, more hateful outlook on life, Miles isn’t in the mood. He just got out of school, yet he can’t even get five minutes before someone attacks him.

So, when the stinger manages to pierce his arm when he gets too close, Miles goes from “not in the mood” to “really not in the mood” and “ow that hurts” and “about to throw up” in a matter of seconds. Scorpion is his one of least favorite villains for a reason. Anyway, he needed to stop him like, yesterday.

It’s easy when Miles is rushing and using a bit more force than usual, because he really needs to get somewhere safe soon, and in no time at all Miles has Scorpion webbed to an alley wall with a bit too much webbing and is dry heaving on a roof of some random building. Exactly how he wanted his afternoon to go.

The good thing is that he doesn't actually throw up, but he’s still shaking too much, and his vision is too blurry to safely swing around and serve the city at the moment. Miles lays on his side to catch his breath, and lets himself rest a bit. He might not need an antidote this time if he’s lucky…

A pigeon lands in front of him. “Don’t poke my eye,” he tells it. It cocks its head and coos, and he takes that as an “okay”.

His stomach hurts from the dry heaving, and his head and legs hurt from the poison, but if he closes his eyes, he might fall asleep. That’s not something someone like Spider-Man wants to do, especially in the beginning of his patrol, even more so out in the open like this. He’s pretty sure he isn’t supposed to fall asleep after getting a ton of venom pumped into his body anyway, that just seems like a bad idea. Curling up into a ball and covering his ears to lessen the noise of the world until he’s feeling better enough to resume patrol, Miles zones out on the pigeon.

He’s vaguely aware that it starts moving a few minutes later, inspecting him and getting closer. It pecks at his shoulder, and he sighs. It pecks him again, probably curious about the material of his suit, and Miles swiftly grabs it and gently holds it in the air so it stops bothering him.

“You good, Spidey? I heard a bunch of police sirens,” a voice calls from above, most likely a tenant for the much taller building next to the one he’s currently resting on.

“Yeah, peachy,” Miles replies, not turning to face them. He zones back in again, just in case they need something, and to let the pigeon go. It flies off immediately, and he lets his arm drop back down (ow). There’s no doubt his mom will find out about the fight with Scorpion, and then she’ll talk to his dad about the risks and get him more worked up than he already would be— it’ll be a whole thing. He should text her before she does, but… maybe after the venom has run its course (and when he could actually see straight).

“You sure?” that same voice asks about… how much time had passed? It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds or minutes, right? It forcibly zoned him back in-- he didn’t even realize he zoned out again. It was closer this time, about twenty feet away (yikes, he didn’t realize that either), but it didn’t set off his spider-sense, so he didn’t tense up and prepare to run.

“Yeah, don’t worry ‘bout me,” he replies, not moving. He hears them sit down where they are, and is silently grateful that they didn’t get closer. Their heartbeat is calm, and they smell like they’re fresh out the shower with soap and lavender, with a hint of cocoa butter. It’s probably not too strong, but in the state Miles is in right now, it’s like someone is shoving his face in the display section of a beauty store. He doesn’t want to be rude and ask them to leave, though. Hobie would probably tell him something like, “Oi oi, you don’t own the entire place, I can’t believe you became a leech, shame on you!” and ruffle his hair. Wait, no, that’s Peter who does that sometimes, Hobie would just grab his head and shake it a little.

Miles can feel his train of thought starting to derail.

Hobie probably wouldn’t have even been in this situation to begin with, and he’d find a way to beat the hell out of the landlord of this building anyway. Miles can feel his breathing slowing down, the uncomfortable weight of his hearts and lungs in his chest… shit, he might need the antidote.

“What are you laughing about?” The person asks, once again startling Miles enough to make him flinch. His eyes fly open (when did he even close them?) and it feels like something cold was pressed on the back of his neck, traveling down his spine into his legs. “Woah, didn’t mean to scare you. Can you… turn the sparks off?”

God, he didn’t even realize he was doing that. “Sorry, you’re fine,” Miles assures, “just one of those days, you know?”

“Yeah,” they laugh, “it’s all about the he says, she says bullshit.”

“…What?”

“Nothing,” they sigh.

They sit together in silence for a few more minutes until Miles feels like the venom’s effects have lessened enough for him to function like a normal human being and can finally stand up. He’s a bit shaky at first, and can feel the person staring at him, but he gets up! And that’s the important part.

“Stay safe out there,” the person tells him before he swings away.

“Thanks, you too—” Miles says, turning around to give his signature two-finger salute, albeit more lazy, but his brain stalls when he can’t tell if he should use mister or miss. They don’t look or sound obviously masculine or feminine, and they seem to find his blunder amusing from the way they smile, so he hurries and blurts out, “uh, boss.”

He swings away to avoid any further embarrassment.

——

When he returns to the dorms that night, he glances at the growing pile of schoolwork on his desk before running to the bathroom to take a shower. He’s pretty sure he needs to turn a few of those things in tomorrow, and he isn’t bone tired, so he’ll get some of that done. Hopefully it’s easy and will leave him with enough time to sleep.

After his shower he gets to work. The soft glow the lamp casts is just enough for him to see and right at the edge of “useful” before it becomes “annoying”, so he’ll use that instead of straining his eyes.

As he’s factoring a few equations, his thoughts drift back to the rooftop. That person was nice, he supposes, to stay by him until he felt better even when he said he was fine. Especially since they didn’t call an ambulance! No hate to them, he just feels bad wasting their time when he’d most likely be fine without their help. He’s getting a second wave of embarrassment from earlier when he couldn’t decide on what to call them, but he wants to see them again.

That’d be nice, he thinks.

Wait- he doesn’t want to see them again. Where’d that thought come from? And “that’d be nice”? What’s that supposed to mean? He probably just wanted to apologize for being so awkward back there. Yeah, that’s it. He wanted to apologize for potentially making them uncomfortable. They were probably polite about it out of nervousness, it’s what he would have done.

His work is very interesting all of a sudden.

——

He’s a bit sloppy one night during patrol.

His shoulder throbs as a reminder of a crowbar-wielding thief he didn’t dodge in time.

Otherwise, it’s a very successful night. Several crimes stopped before they could happen or get worse, multiple people walked home or accompanied as they waited for their ride home, and none of the bigger headaches-- sorry, villains-- none of them decided to show their faces. He did slam into a wall once, but nobody saw, so he actually didn’t slam into it, meaning his pride was intact.

A shout from directly below has him dropping down onto the ground. “Everything okay?” He asks the two women, one of whom he recognizes as one of his teachers, as they jump back from the storm drain.

“Yeah, dropped my fucking keys,” his teacher, Ms. Green, says. It feels a bit weird to hear a teacher curse so easily, but she’s not his teacher right now, he can’t focus on that.

The other woman groans and holds her head in her hands. “Don’t suppose you can get down there somehow?” she asks.

Hm. Maybe?

“Uh, I can try,” Miles says, wondering if he should really attempt it and get all smelly, “Can you see it from here? I might be able to just-”

Ms. Green rolls her eyes at the other woman’s question, “She was joking.”

Oh. Okay? Didn’t really sound like that, but it’s whatever.

“I’ll just… use the bus.” She sighs, frustrated.

“Would you like me to wait with you?” Miles asks, realizing he can see the keys from here from their shine. He could probably get it with a well-placed shot.

“No thanks,” Ms Green replies, before walking to the bus stop with the other lady.

Miles can definitely grab those keys. He just needs to…

With a small smile, he shoots a web at the keys through the grate, and carefully pulls them up into his hand. They’re a bit dirty, but nothing a thorough wash won’t fix. Probably. Hopefully. “Hey, I got them,” he begins to try and catch up with the women, but a large boom shocks him, and he crushes the keys in his hand like it’s clay out of shock.

“Sorry,” he hurries and says before swinging off towards the noise.

Unsurprisingly, it’s a robbery. Also unsurprisingly, he handles it quickly. Even more unsurprisingly, he managed to get grazed by a bullet on his thigh, because apparently it’s a cosmic rule that Spider-Man can’t have too many good things happen in a row. One is lucky, but two? Now you’re pushing it, buddy. Three is seriously his unlucky number. Grazes hurt enough, he doesn’t want to deal with the pain for longer than he has to.

There was a small fire he put out after getting the criminals a safe distance away from the site, and the smoke got all in his lenses and mouth even though he tried to work as quick as possible. Normally, he wouldn’t stick around, he’d probably be making his way back to the dorms to deal with the graze and to wash the suit, but the pain is making it incredibly difficult to even keep his eyes open to focus. He knows he’s teetering on the lamp, but he doesn’t want to be on the ground in case another threat appears.

“That hurt y’know,” he tells them to make them feel bad. He’s looking at the man that shot at him with narrowed lenses, but it probably isn’t really working to intimidate with his unsteady positioning. He might as well mess with them until he’s focused enough to keep swinging. “I swear I’ve seen you somewhere before…” He leans in a bit (bad idea, he almost falls completely off), pointing to the man. They’re all wearing baggy clothes, ski masks, and don’t have any visible markings on them-

That’d be nice.

The thought comes out of nowhere and makes Miles unstick, and he falls onto the ground below, much to the amusement of the thieves and the embarrassment of himself. He accidentally growls at them before swinging off. Pain be damned, he’s not sticking around after that.

——

Miles sits on the edge of the tub, watching as Ganke kneels on the ground next to him to clean the graze on his thigh. He feels a bit bad for waking him up with his clumsy return through the window, but Ganke assured him he wasn’t sleeping well anyway.

“Thanks again,” he tells him, “I know it’s gross.”

Ganke smiles tiredly. “A little grossness wouldn’t scare me away, or else I’d have transferred by now.” Pushing his glasses down onto his face, Ganke pats the area around the graze dry from the antiseptic. “Do you think you’ll need— oh, nevermind,” he’s interrupted by the sight of the dermis layer stitching itself back together. “Does that make a noise too?”

Miles nods, “Kind of like… cleaning your ear. That squishing sound, or how movies make ice sound when it’s spreading somewhere. But you can go back to bed, I can put the bandages on myself.” He leans over and grabs the package from near Ganke’s knee, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead as he opens it.

“Alright, wake me up if you need anything,” Ganke tells him with a yawn as he gets up and leaves the bathroom, “just not your homework. I’m not doing math before I have to.”

——

The graze isn’t healing.

Well, it is, but not as quick as usual, which means he has to deal with the itchiness that comes from a more natural healing speed. His mom, after not-so-subtly implying that it’s because he’s too stressed and should take a break, suggested wearing more loose clothes than usual when he can so his wounds aren’t irritated as they heal, and he’s starting to really appreciate the advice. But probably not for the reason anybody would expect.

He’s in the drinks section of a bodega, trying to remember what he was doing here in the first place. He’s distracted by his reflection in the door, and he feels… content. He feels good, really great, in Uncle Aaron’s old puffer on top of his hoodie and in his mom’s (don’t tell anybody) old baggy jeans. She said he could borrow them since she hasn’t worn them since highschool, and they fit surprisingly well and comfortably. Paired with the fogginess of the reflection, he looks just… vague. And he really, really likes it. This is definitely a new style he can get behind.

Someone clears their throat behind him, startling him into moving. He hurries to the candy aisle, finally remembering that he was doing a snack run for himself, Ganke, and his parents. Why Ganke hung back at home, he has no idea.

“Okay,” the cashier says with a tired drawl, “will that be all m… sir?”

Miles feels his eyes widen and a small, vaguely light feeling in his chest. He quickly pays for his things and leaves, ready to get back to his friends.

On the walk back, he wonders briefly if the feeling meant anything deeper than him finding it really amusing.

…

Probably not. They might have thought he was too young-looking to be called “Mister” or whatever.

——

“No, I just knew they’d be cheaper here and wanted to see if you want anything,” Miles says into the phone as he picks out a pair of baggy jeans. They don’t look anything like the ones his mom lent him, but they’ll do. They actually look like the ones those thieves from a week back wore, now that he thinks about it.

“Prolly don’t have my size,” Hobie replies. There’s the sound of metal clanging and a girl shouting angrily. “Any skirts you think I’d like?”

“All of them are old lady skirts,” Miles says, and catches a pair of elderly women sending him a disapproving glare. “but anyone of any age can wear them,” he adds quickly.

Hobie laughs, and there’s a loud screech of metal being pulled. What was he even doing? “M’the last person you needa tell that to. Grab three you like so someone else’ll be able to take them.”

Miles switches his phone to press between his shoulder and ear as he grabs a few sweaters and torn jeans. “I don’t wear skirts, though.”

“Wanna try?”

Miles feels his mouth go a bit dry. “Nah, my legs are like, suuuper hairy anyway. Wouldn’t that be…” he trails off.

“You sure? Hairy legs don’t hurt nobody. I don’t shave.”

Well that’s because Hobie doesn’t even grow enough hair to where it’s noticeable.

But Miles wasn’t really sure. Well, maybe he was? He didn’t really want to wear these skirts. People would make fun of him. Or be mean. He didn’t really want to deal with that right now, he just wanted some comfortable baggy clothes. But it’s not like he hates skirts, they can be super pretty sometimes! And his mom says they’re great for hot days. But, like… he won’t say that he’s never thought about it- and who hasn’t from time to time? Every guy thought about wearing skirts from time to time, and there are guys who do! Hobie! Well, Hobie’s not always guy, but-

“Miles?”

“Nah man, I’m good,” Miles finally answers, “You can just donate them if you don’t end up liking ‘em. These look like the Skirts of Theseus anyway.”

“Aight, be safe,” Hobie tells him, audibly breaking something. “Uh, don’t bring ‘em immediately, oil spilled everywhere. Damn, it’s getting in the seats.”

Oh, he’s working on that hunk of junk that he calls a car again.

“You too. Don’t get yourself killed working on that shitty Impala.”

“Piss off,” Hobie laughs before hanging up.

When he waits in line to check out, with probably three of the most disappointing looking skirts he’s ever seen, the people behind him give him a strange look. He clutches the clothes closer to his chest.

——

He doesn’t even make it fully through the door before his dad is telling him to go take a shower.

“You smell like gasoline and smoke, were you at a fire or with Hobart again?”

“Dad, he’s trying to quit,” Miles tried to argue, but his dad simply pointed to the bathroom.

With a quiet sigh, he trudged to the bathroom, which led him here, with his mother’s razor in his hand and staring down at his now hairless legs. He runs a hand down one, marveling at how smooth it is. Hobie’s words about hairy legs made him think of shaving his own, just to see what the hype is all about with all the other girls, and he was in the shower, so why not? It’s not like anybody would notice anyway since he wears pants most of the time, and he could always just grow it back if he didn’t like it. He’s honestly surprised he didn’t cut himself.

“Not bad for a first try,” he mutters, placing the razor back.

When he gets out and goes to his room, he can’t stop rubbing his legs together. They’re just so smooth and seem to glide against each other and on the sheets. Is this the real reason people shave? He can totally get behind this.

Hmm… has his dad ever shaved his legs? Miles has seen him shave his face a bunch of times, and hears his mom complain a few about hair being left in the sink. Other boys his age are already growing out their facial hair and talking about how they have to shave it sometimes, so do they shave their legs too? Do guys shave their legs just as much as women do, but just don’t talk about it? It’s probably another social rule Miles just didn’t pick up on, really.

Not something he really feels like dwelling on, either. It’ll just grow back anyway, and it’s like Hobie said, “hairy legs don’t hurt nobody.”

——

“Whoa there, little guy,” Miles chickles as he scoops up a puppy from the road before it can get run over. It growls at him, the rude little animal, but he knows it’s just scared. After he swings up to the roof of a nearby deli, he sees a small splinter in its paw as he’s checking it over. “Aww, poor thing,” he coos, swiftly pulling out the woodchip. Checking the collar, Miles discovers the pup’s name is Matrimony, which… is definitely a name!

Its fur isn’t dirty, it’s a bit round, and the eyes don’t have any crust like Miles has seen countless other tiny white dogs have, so maybe it escaped through a window or door while the owner was unaware.

“Hey Spidey, that yours?” A random woman wearing a dirty apron comes up to him and points at the dog. “That bichon frise?”

“Unfortunately, no,” he answers, holding the puppy closer.

“Relax, I’m not taking it. Just wanted to check in, since the whole… other… rooftop thing. Strange how this happened twice at the same place, huh?”

What? He stands up to look at her better. “Sorry, we’ve met? It’s just been such a busy week, I don’t really remember!”

“No, it was— uh sorry, I don’t know why I expected you to remember that— you were on the roof holding a bird? And I stayed with you until you got up again?”

Oh. Oh! Shoot!

“Oh dang, I’m sorry! Thank you again for that, but yeah ma—” he stops himself from saying man, “my boss—” oh, that’s just weird, “this isn’t my dog. But you recognize it?”

The person smiles at his blunder (again) and shakes their head. “Just the breed. Cute little things aren’t they?” They slowly go to pet the puppy, but quickly back off when it growls. “I was never great with dogs anyway.”

“Okay, I’m going see if anybody lost this little guy,” Miles tells them. “Be safe out there, uh, what’s your name?”

“Kody,” they respond, waving goodbye.

“Be safe out there Kody!” He says with a smile he hopes they can hear, and climbs down the shop and begins asking around, not letting anyone actually touch it. If it were up to him, which it kind of is because he hasn’t found the owner but not really because he’s a good person, he’d take the dog to his dorms and raise it as his own with Ganke, and they’d alternate on who sneaks it home for the weekends. He’s heard from the upperclassmen that they’d have to do that with flour sacks as pretend-babies one day, so this would be good practice!

No, no. He’s getting ahead of himself. Last time he snuck a cat into his home, he had to kneel in the corner for an hour and all the chores everyday for a week. He hasn’t had to do that in YEARS, and he’s going to do everything to avoid that happening again.

There’s a dog park nearby, so he decides to check there in case the puppy somehow got loose of his leash or whatever was restraining him.

After nearly an hour of confused looks, adoring coos (not towards him, of course), and brief annoyed glances from several people, he comes upon a woman crying on a bench. She was dressed pretty fancy, wearing a tight pink dress, tights, a leather jacket, and crazy-looking heels, and her hair was in an elaborate updo. Probably not something to really wear to a place filled with energetic dogs kicking up dust and dirt, but who’s Miles to judge? He’s the one in a black spandex costume in the middle of the day, after all.

“Ma’am? Are you okay?” He asks her in a soft voice.

Does she look okay? What a genius, Miles thinks to himself.

“Do I look okay?!” She sobs. “My baby is gone! I can’t find him anywhere!”

“A human baby? Or a dog baby? Maybe I can help you, or find people who can.” Miles sits down next to her, placing the dog on his lap and holding it there. “I’m sorry this happened to you,” he adds.

“My- My dog, we were doing some socializing,” the woman begins to look over at him, but gasps at the puppy. “Matty!” She swipes the puppy away, startling him with her speed, and spins around while hugging it. She places kisses all over its head, smearing pink lipstick and her running mascara on its fluffy white fur. It licks her face happily, which might not be healthy. Can dogs ingest mascara?

“You found my baby! Matrimony!”

Oh! Cool! Well, not the name, obviously, but—

“Nice! Well, uh, I’m glad to have helped! You should probably get a tighter harness, ma’am.” Miles gets up, ready to leave, but the woman stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

“No, wait! Here, I don’t have my cash on me right now, but you can have these.” She removes her hand and reaches under the bench to reveal a purse that matches her dress, and pulls out a tiny black box wrapped in a tiny bow. “They’re earrings. I was going to wear ‘em, but I already have too many,” she flashes a bright smile at him and kisses her puppy again, “so take it as a thanks! From the both of us, because who knows what would have happened to my little baby if you hadn’t found him!”

It’s not registering as a threat, so they’re probably actually earrings in here and not something like a small bomb or tear gas. Or silly string. Ugh. “Thank you,” he says, not mentioning he doesn’t wear earrings, “hope you and Matty enjoy your day!” He walks away, rubbing his thumb over the ribbon.

What’s he going to do with these?

A/N: i’m not yet sure if i’ll keep posting all the completed chapters even when the entire fic itself is complete, bc i plan for it to be kind of long but. i’ll cross that bridge when i get to it

[mrs-santoss]

Love at First Sight - Neymar Imagine - Chapter Eleven FINAL

Summary: 

Y/N is scared to fall in love. She fell once, and it was a nightmare. She can’t risk it again. But, this lucky boy manages to steal her heart, but unfortunately, manages to break it at the same time. What will Y/Ns decisions be?

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7 , Chapter 8 , Chapter 9 , Chapter 10

I could hear everything, but I was unable to open my eyes. I remember screaming, pain, Neymar's cries, my mom's cries, I could even hear the doctors saying I won't be able to make it. I gather all my strength to open my eyes. I was in a hospital bed and It was dark. The only light was coming from two small lamps on the table in front of me. I felt a hand on top of mine, it was warm. I looked down to see Neymar laying his head next to my hand, holding it loose, indicating he was asleep. I suddenly remembered why I'm here. "MY BABY!" Neymar jumped up and looked at me. He held my arms down while I was trying to get out of bed, panicking. "Y/N, It's okay. Calm down, meu amor. Hey-" "NEY, WHERE IS MY BABY? WHY ISN'T SHE HERE?" I kept yelling and began crying. I was in tremendous pain, but my mother instincts were kicking in, making me forget about the pain. Neymar cupped my cheeks and sat down next to me on the hospital bed. "Bebê, she's okay. She's healthy. The nurses have her, they will bring here in shortly. Calm down, meu amor." Those words worked like an "off" button for me. My baby was okay, she made it. I smiled through the tears, hugging Neymar. He pulled out of the hug quickly to look at me. "Y/N how are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" "Yes, a little. What happened, Ney? How did I end up here?" "You had some complications that obligated us to come here. The labor went okay, there's doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you or our daughter, our Y/D/N." after he said that, I felt a rush of happiness. It is finally over. We hear a knock on the door and the nurse comes in holding the most important creature in the world for us. The second she placed her on me, I felt a radiation on my chest. It's like my daughter was speaking to me, saying that everything is okay and she's safe. It felt like life finally had a meaning. Even though she was born a few hours ago, I can already tell she has Ney's features. I hold her close to my face and smell her. It's crazy how yesterday she was inside of me, and now I'm holding her. There's a knock on the door, Davi comes inside and runs towards me. Neymar's family and my family come in after him. Davi gives me a quick hug and I pat the empty spot next to me, letting him know he can sit there. "Hey, honey. This is your brother, Davi. Hii, Davi!!" "She's so little. What's her name?" Davi asks and pets YD/N's blanket wrapped around her. "Her name is Y/D/N. Do you like it, amor?" "Yes, I do. I will take care of her as a big brother." said Davi, making me and Neymar awe, Ney hugs him.

I interact with all the family members, but I kindly ask them for some quiet time, since the pain was getting worse. Neymar and Davi stayed with me in the room. The doctor came over to check on me and gave me something for the pain. I fell asleep with Ney, Davi and Y/D/N close to me. _____________________________________ "Davi, honey. Can you see from there?" "Yes, Y/N. When does the game start?" "They will come out in a couple of minutes." I was with Davi and Davi's mom and my one year old daughter Y/D/N watching Ney play for Brazil. I sat on the row behind Davi and Carolina. It was a very important game, Brazil was playing for Copa América. It was also my first time bringing our daughter to a game, so I was a bit nervous. "I can't wait for her to grow up and come to watch me play" said Neymar while rocking our baby to sleep. "Me too amor, she will be your biggest fan, after me of course"

The player got on the field, the first thing Neymar did was look for us. When he spotted us, he blew kisses and smiled at us and mouthed " eu te amo". During our conversation before the game, he seemed very nervous about this game, I prayed that this doesn't distract him. Neymar managed to score after 20 minutes. We all jumped on our feet celebrating. During his celebration, Neymar went to the nearest camera and did a heart shape with his hands and kissed his new tattoo.

"Amor, I have a surprise for you, close your eyes"

"Ney, It better not be any of your stupid pranks, don't make me scream because Y/D/N is sleeping" I said to him and followed him to the couch.

"Don't worry, amor. You'll love it, cause I do."

He helped me sit on the couch with my eyes closed and I could feel him sit next to me. He kissed my lips for a second making me jump a little and told me to open my eyes. He had a new tattoo on his arm. There was a pair of eyes, my eyes. He looked at me for my reaction. It made me smile and loved. I kissed his lips and pulled away to look at him. To stare into each other's eyes like we always do. This has to be the most meaningful tattoo. "I love it, Ney. I love you"

I blew a kiss at him and yelled 'I love you' at the top of my lungs, making Y/D/N look at me weirdly but still continue to clap, mimicking everyone's actions. The game went on, until the 120th minute. The other team had managed to score after Ney, tying the score. It all came down to penalties. This has to be the most stressful thing in Neymar's life. I'm not even the one playing and I began to sweat. I know how much this means to him. The other team missed their 5th penalty, Neymar was about to shoot the 5th one. If he scores, we win. The pressure is unreal. He approaches the ball slowly, praying. He kissed the ball before putting it on the ground. And...he scored, Brazil won. I began crying and hugging everyone. Neymar ran to his teammates and celebrated with them. Before the cup ceremony, all the family members of the players went down on the field, including us. Davi took Y/D/N from my arms and ran towards Neymar, me and Carolina followed them. Neymar picked up our daughter kissing her before kissing Davi and hugging both of them tight.

I went to see Neymar play for the first time after I gave birth. I was excited to watch him play after a long pause. Neymar scored a goal a his celebration was the biggest surprise of my life. He untied a white band from his hand, making it flat and showing it to the camera. There was a text, written in black marker saying "Will you be Mrs.Santos?"

"Congratulations, amor. I'm so proud of you" I kissed him and hugged him tightly, Carolina did the same. "Thank you, bebê. I'm so glad you're all here, everyone." "Congratulations, Ney. You did a good job" said Carolina and kissed him on the cheek. Their relationship is so good and healthy, I like that a lot. They never let Davi feel uncomfortable or sad about their situation. "Thank you, honey" said Ney and we let him go back to his teammates to receive the cup after that. During our ride home, it was just me Y/D/N and Ney in the car. Davi and his mom left with his dad. Neymar held my hand during the whole ride, kissing it and we sang at the top of our lungs. I'm so glad I accepted the job. I'm so glad I moved to France. I'm so glad I went to that party. I'm so glad I gave our relationship a second chance. Now, we are the happiest we've ever been. We have our family, our home and a very long future ahead of us. I would've never thought that we would end up here in 3 years, but I wouldn't change a single it about our journey.

I looked at him and smiled. I remembered our first interaction. Even though it's been years, It always managed to make me smile, it always will.

"Hi, I'm Neymar. Nice to meet you!" he says to me, and extends his hand.

"Hello, Neymar. I'm Y/N, the new medical team assistant. Nice to meet you too!" I say back to him and I smile. He can tell my hand is shaking from the emotions, so he gives my hand a light squeeze before he releases it.

"I guess you will be seeing this guy in your office a lot then. Aahahaha!" this other guy says, making everyone laugh and approaches me.

"Hi, I'm Kylian. Nice to meet you, do you speak French?" he shakes my hand and asks.

"Hi, Kylian. Nice to meet you too. Yes, I do." I say the last part in french.

There's one last guy left to meet me from the three of them. As he's reaching to shake my hand. Neymar says to him in a low volume "she's extremely beautiful, oh,my god." in Portuguese. He responds back to him "yes, she is." and then turns his head to me and shakes my hand.

"Hi, I'm Thiago. Nice to meet you" he says to me in a broken English. I shake his hand.

"Hi, Thiago. Nice to meet you too. You can always talk to me in Portuguese." I say back to him and smile, I look at Neymar when I say "Portuguese" because a want to see his reaction of me understanding what he said a few seconds before. He looked shocked and started turning red immediately. Thiago starts laughing and explains the thing to a curious Kylian. The all laugh together aside from Neymar who's still a bit shocked.

A tear rolled down my eye. I didn't even bother to wipe it. It was a tears of joy. Neymar looked at me at smiled, reaching to wipe my tears. I took a hold of his hand again and squeezed it tighter this time. "Ney?" "Yes, amor." "I love you with all my heart, I'm so glad you're a part of my life." "I love you, too, meu amor. I will always be by your side, no matter where, how or when. Thank you for everything you've done for me so far. I promise to always put a smile on your face, even during rainy days, just like in our vows. I will always stare into your eyes, even during my last breath. I love you"

-END-

[numinousmysteries]

Vanquish by Wisdom Hellish Wiles (6/9)

On AO3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

@today-in-fic

As they drove, Scully shut her eyes and tried to return to the liminal state where she could feel her son’s presence. Instead of the visions she’d been experiencing all day, though, she was flooded with memories—the same memories that had been haunting her for fifteen years. 

The first time she held William after giving birth. Monica Reyes had handed him to her wrapped in a towel and she reached out to stroke his impossibly soft cheek. She knew she must’ve been losing blood at a rapid rate since her field of vision was narrowing and her head felt light and fuzzy, but the high-pitched wail of her newborn son tethered her in place and kept her from slipping out of consciousness. He’s here, he’s alive, he’s okay, she repeated to herself.

Mulder told her she was awake when he found them and carried them both onto the helicopter he’d arrived in, but the next thing she remembered was waking up in a hospital bed with Mulder sitting beside her holding their baby in his arms.

“What happened?” she asked him, trying to get a grip on her surroundings.

“Hey,” Mulder said, smiling at her. “You’re both okay. You lost a lot of blood but you’re going to be okay.”

Scully reached for the baby and Mulder gently passed the sleeping bundle over to her, helping her sit up so she could support him. 

“Is he alright?” she asked. 

“He’s perfect. Ten out of ten Apgar score, nearly nine pounds. Had a lot to say when we first got here but he’s calmed down now.” 

She felt sore everywhere and exhausted but she also couldn’t remember the last time she was this happy. The thrill of finding out she was pregnant was tempered by Mulder’s disappearance. His eventual return was strained by anxiety over her baby’s health and Mulder’s feelings of not fitting into her life. 

But now she felt relief for the first time in months. All three of them were healthy, safe, and together at last. In that moment, she couldn’t have known how short-lived their reprieve from the darkness would be. 

“You good, Scully?” She heard Mulder ask from the driver’s seat of the car, bringing her back to the present. 

"Yeah,” she said, opening her eyes and turning to him. “I’m fine.”

He grinned at her but raised his eyebrows in doubt. 

“Sorry,” she said. “Force of habit. 

“Just don’t conk out on me again. I’m not ready to check you out of a hospital against medical advice for a third time in one day.” 

“I’m just trying to think where he could be.”

  “Any luck?” Mulder asked. 

Scully shook her head. “Mulder, I want to find him so badly. I know we need to find him, but at the same time I’m afraid. He won’t even know who we are. And how could he not hate me for giving him away?”

“Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it,” Mulder said.

He reached over and squeezed her hand but she didn’t feel reassured. For fifteen years her decision to put their son up for adoption had hovered over the two of them like a dark cloud, heavy with rain that had yet to fall. 

She blamed herself for sending Mulder away shortly after William’s birth and she knew Mulder blamed himself for listening to her and leaving. He never told her she made the wrong choice by giving William up, but she knew he had to resent her. It was a conversation they danced around for over a decade but refused to actually engage in. 

“You never would have let me do it if you had stayed,” she said.

A moment passed. His hand tightened on the steering wheel.

“You can’t say that, Scully. I wasn’t there. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for you.”

“But I know you,” she said, feeling conviction swelling within her. “You never compromise when it comes to the people you love. You never take half-measures or seek the easy way out. When I was dying from cancer, you risked everything to find a cure you had no evidence would actually work. The smoking man offered you everything you could have wanted—my health, your sister—and you still never sacrificed your convictions.” 

“Scully–” 

“No, Mulder, let me finish. If you were there, you would have found a way for us to keep him safe. I know you would have. I just wasn’t strong enough.” Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes welled up with tears.

This is the point in the conversation where one of them would evade or run away—he’d turn to his work or she’d retreat back to her cold new apartment intentionally free of any personal memories. But they were stuck together now in this car, stuck in motion hurtling inevitably toward the absent center of their lives.

Mulder’s silence told her everything she needed to know. He resented her. 

“Please, say something,” she begged. 

“If our intel from the Gunmen is accurate and these visions you’re having are truly coming from William, which I’m inclined to believe they are, then we know he’s alive,” Mulder said, finally, keeping his eyes on the road straight ahead. “That fact alone proves you didn’t make the wrong choice. We can’t change what happened, but we can do everything we can to save him now.” 

Scully nodded. It was comforting to know that her son was alive but she once again felt the heavy burden of protecting him. She’s failed before and she couldn’t afford to fail again. This time, the fate of the planet hung in the balance as well. 

“What if I can’t see him again?” she asked.

“You will,” Mulder said. “I know you will.” 

Miles passed by without any visions. They crossed state lines into Georgia and she realized it was the first time she’s been in the state since William’s birth. In all the criss-crossing of the country they did during their years on the run they never returned here. It wasn't a decision they discussed but rather an unspoken agreement to avoid treading on uncomfortable topics.

She remembered driving down here from DC with Monica and how uncomfortable she felt the entire way. Not only was she heavily pregnant, her back aching and both her legs falling asleep under her weight from hours on the road, but she was terrified of what would happen once she arrived. Would Billy Miles find her and steal her baby away? And how could she know Mulder was safe? 

It was only the kicks and rhythmic motion of her unborn child that gave her the strength to keep going. She had to stay strong for both of them. 

On the road with Mulder now, her hand absentmindedly traveled to her flat stomach. No matter how many years had gone by, she could still vividly remember the feeling of fluttering beneath her skin. 

A sudden bright flash of light interrupted her thoughts. The image of the road in front of her was replaced with a vision of a tarmac full of small planes. A semi-truck pulled up nearly right next to a small jet and was met by a black sedan. Two suited men exited the sedan and walked around to the passenger side of the truck’s cab. There’s a teenage boy inside with his wrists and ankles bound. Scully could the rough plastic ties as if they were on her own body. The boy screamed and she felt goosebumps erupt on her skin. 

"We said don’t do anything stupid,” the shorter suited man said. “This is what you get for not listening.”

The two men were now on either side of the boy dragging him out of the truck and up a small flight of stairs onto the jet. 

“Stop!” The boy screamed and Scully heard the word coming from her own throat. She gasped, opening her eyes and once again finding herself in the car alongside Mulder.

“Scully!” He shouted, abruptly pulling over to the side of the road. “What the fuck was that?” 

  She panted for air and her heart rattled in her chest. “Mulder, turn around.”

"Why? What did you see?”

“They’re putting him on a plane. They’re taking him to Spartanburg. We have to go back to that house.” 

“Shit,” he said. “Are you sure?”

She’s still shaken up and can only nod. 

Mulder grabbed her wrist with one hand and used the other to steer them back onto the road. They were on the highway with no exit in sight, so Mulder drove across the grassy median to the shocked honking of the other vehicles on the road.

“Good to have a badge again, huh, Scully?” He looked over at her with a smile that failed to hide his fear. 

“Just drive,” she said.

[drottni]

Okay rewatching LBFAD (ofcourse this would be the show I do that to) and some observations

1. How the heck did they actually manage to capture Dongfang Qincang? Like after Lady Chidi sacrificed herself who was actually strong enough to bring my man down? What happened.

2. The intro says his "primordial spirit cannot be destroyed", why and how is it destroyed later then when XLH kills him? Also that when he resurrects it would be danger for the 3 realms (I like to think that in some universe it was written he would sacrifice himself for XLH and that Taisui would take over his body and put the 3 realms in danger and thats what this refers to) and that "only the goddess of Xilan would be able to prevent this catastrophe" and didn't she? By killing her beloved and stopping Taisui she did. God. I feel like they were destined to play these roles as well. "It's my destiny to save the world" 🤝 "It's my mission to save you"

3. My boy wasn't just casually chilling and trapped in that prison. He was fighting! He was sending out energy even while unconscious and weakening the Matrix. Ofcourse he was.

4. Did XLH's master really plan on throwing her away and only kept her because of Changheng? Did she not know who XLH is? I always assumed she knew and was safe keeping her.

5. My girl XLH didn't even hesitate before deciding she was gonna risk herself for Changheng. Like she was this selfless from day one and we all really fooled ourselves into thinking she wouldn't do this for her Da Mouto. Clowns all of us. Dongfang Qincang too for not locking her up in a tower before heading out to big battle to stop her 😅

6. Dongfang Qincang's little fire spheres said "You're coming home with me" to XLH. 😆 Really grabbed her and never let go. Get yo girl boy.

7. Omg the reflection of DFQC in her eyes! I actually saw it now.

8. Multiple slow pausing has revealed to me: The MINUTE she touches him and her energy shoots out, his hands are FREED. She literally frees him. My god.

9. How do I make that zoomed out scene of them literally coloring the galaxy with their love a phone screen saver or something. I need that now.

10. DFQC who doesn't bother to explain anything to anyone ever immediately explains to XLH that he doesn't know why they have switched bodies and what is happening.

11. Netflix asking me if I want to skip intro:

me: How dare you.

12. That scene in the intro of their heads. How DFQC is bowed and XLH is looking up when in reality they are the opposite. But with each other, he bows to her, she looks up to him. God. I think I could write poetry out of these two and never stop. I could write essays. Someone make me stop.

13. I literally never knew that he refers to himself as Benzhuo (Not sure what its exact meaning is like but The Venerable one or something) until Tumblr and now when she mockingly says "Benzhuo Benzhuo" >" you keep talking about yourself", it's so much funnier. She literally calls him out on his fancy language and says alright mr high and mighty calm down you aint a big deal. LOVE.

14. Idk if its a translation thing or he for real says to her "don't cry" like a request instead of an order as you would expect like "stop crying!". So soft. Sir why. "Clean your face" like you would to a child after consoling them. Like "okay that's enough now wipe your face". God.

15. The first time we see the curse seal is when she enters the Matrix its on her chest. The second time and the first time we see it on DFQC is when they switch back for the first time. I need to how the Xilan curse works. Why does it just feel like the universe conspiring to bring them both together 😆 Like how did the curse know he would try to kill her now that they switched bodies and immediately said "nope jokes on you, she is your precious one now"

16. The sheer joy I feel watching his transformation into Moon Supreme. Cleared my skin, fixed my life, cured my depression.

[ikingpotato]

I'm curious, what other Sasuke ships do you like?

To be honest, before Sakura Kasugano, there is other girls for Sasuke. There is tons of list that I ship Sasuke with and that even involve cross shipping, but I will name only top 11, and you already know who is number one is, it is Sakura Kasugano. Anyways onto the list:

11.

Temari from Naruto Shippuden and Boruto. Although they have barely interaction but I know Temari is quite smitten with Sasuke and his look by referring to him "handsome". She also feeling sad when Sasuke that she knew turnout that she wasn't expect from him during 5 kage summit. They fought before and Sasuke go all out on her, he doesn't go easy on her, he see her as equal and formidable opponent. Also, both of the voice actor dub got married so that make me want to ship them. To be honest, I think they would be good couple of power house. She strong and have long hair that Sasuke like. In any circumstance if Temari was in the hidden leaf, she could convince Sasuke to stay using logic to find a different way to obtain power. Sasuke will acknowledge her, probably have 2 kid.

10.

Kushina from Naruto and Shippuden.

Okay...Here me out..Before some of you will grab torch fire and pitchfork...Sasuke favorite food is tomato and Kushina's hair is like a red tomato and most people in her childhood called her that. If Kushina was still alive and Sasuke begin to notice her. I believe Sasuke will have a crush on her and will stay at Konoha. Again, he like tomato and love a girl with long hair. Not only that, she also strong too that something Sasuke like. Headcanon, if Kushina was alive and heard about massacre of the Uchiha clan that Sasuke was the only one alive. She would take him in so Naruto would have a friend however Minato pass away. Time goes by as Sasuke get older, he would confess his feeling toward Kushina that he would tell her that she got very beautiful hair and want to be with her forever. They would have one child. So please ummmm go easy on me.....Remember it's just an headcanon. ^~^

9.

 Annie Leonhart from Attack on Titan. Well, basically she is indeed strong and she have those stoic facial expression like Sasuke. She does have harsh personality and isolate herself from other like Sasuke. To be honest, she doesn't care much same as Sasuke does. So if Sasuke ever went to different dimension and come across into Titan world, I think those two would open up and as they respect each other in term of Skill, Strength, Power, and Goal. They will develop feeling for each other little by little. They would get 1 kids.

8.

Karin Uzumaki, from Naruto Shippuden. Karin have been very supportive of Sasuke's decision and will risk her life to help Sasuke achieve his goal. To be frank, she is cute, plus long hair and her hair color does have similar feature as Kushina have so yeah I think it will work. If those two get marry and get 3 kids. They would have very strong bloodline of Uzumaki and Uchiha clan. In headcanon, Sasuke will develop empathy and realize what he have done to her and how he treat her from 5 kage summit was wrong, start to appreciate her a lot more of her undying supportive. He will start develop feeling for her and reciprocate the feeling toward Karin that she still have feeling for him. They will have a peaceful wonderful life as they leave Konoha forever.

7.

Tatsumaki, from One Punch Man. Sure, she maybe short but her strong personality make up for it that her true beauty of it. She can be cold and harsh toward everyone that she come across, but it similar to Sasuke as he was harsh and cold toward everyone, however, one thing they both got in common. They both got tragic past and how they turn out of how they act which you can't blame them for it. If Sasuke ever come across with her and got into her world, at first they both would be hostile first, then Tatsumaki would retaliate of her using psychokinesis/psychic power on him but however Sasuke would be too fast and he would use his sharingan on her to get caught into genjutsu. She would be shock and upset that someone can stood against her power, in overtime, they would have common enemy goal to eliminate. Tatsumaki would slowly open up and have feeling for Sasuke, also admire his good look. Sasuke would find her annoying at first for her constant insult but he will find her quite charmer and adorable due of her personality. They would have 2 kids.

6.

Shura Kirigakure, from Blue Exorcist. Come on, she is gorgeous and so beautiful, that should be enough reason, right? lolz No? Okay fine, Same reason as Kushina and Karin, Long hair and red color as a tomato but that is not enough reason so I will tell more. She is very strong and quite knowledgeable of her ninjutsu something she had a common with Sasuke. In headcanon, Sasuke come to her world. At first, she would attack him because he come from different world and assume he work with the devil. Of Course, Sasuke stomp her but only going easy on her, as Sasuke explain how he is not working with Satan and how he wind up in her world. Shura will agree and find Sasuke quite a good looking handsome that she might claim him to be her lover. She will pounce on Sasuke and drag him to the bed to make sweet love lol, They would have one child. That should be enough reason.

5.

Ramlethal, from Guilty Gear. Well, both of them use a weapon and very skill in hand to hand combat. I really think she is very cute and sure some say she have stoic emotionless facial expression but I think that is part of her quality. I think Sasuke and Ramlethal would be adorable couple. In headcanon, they will spar at first with no conclusion as Sasuke is not using his full strength that got Ramlethal bored, so they begin to interact with each other of their goal and interest and soon Ramlethal will express her emotion facial expression more toward Sasuke. One thing Sasuke will acknowledge is her skill in combat They will have one beautiful daughter.

4.

Toph Bei Fong from Avatar (age up either 16 to 18)

of this image https://twitter.com/jmg_partybean/status/1303709817408610309

credit to JMG

Anyways, Toph is very carefree and very tomboyish, not to mention. She is the best Earth bender. Plus she is adorable. The reason, I want to pair her up with Sasuke, probably I personally think they would be a cute couple. If Toph touch Sasuke's face, she would immediately blush that find him very handsome and cool but that not the reason why she would like him, she like him once Sasuke show his strength that she will be impress and admire him. While Sasuke will discover despite of her tomboyish look and attitude, he find she have feminine side that he find it very attractive and someday will find a cure for her blindness, once her blindness is heal, she will be 10x stronger than she was before. Both got family problem that need to resolve. Both are capable in battle. To be honest, they would have one powerful son.

3.

Hinata Hyuga, from Naruto Shippuden. Oh boy oh boy, I know many will never agree but hey, in the beginning Sasuke and Hinata was my first shipping pair. I ship them so hard, because how much they have in common. Plus, those two were suppose to be engage in arrange marriage. I understand not many people agree but it doesn't matter. I ship who I want to ship. Both got unique eye ability, both have indeed have family issue, both have struggle their own weakness, have very unique design as their color pattern like both have black hair, dark clothes that include purple and blue, and they look traditional. Hinata is the only one who is not a fangirl toward Sasuke. They're both rather introverted, they're originally calm and reserved characters. In headcanon, they both will be introduce each other in young age as they spend time each other as friend. In genin, they develop a strong bond as they have feeling for each other, Hinata will have long hair just like in shippuden. Sasuke will train her to overcome her weakness and Hinata will help Sasuke ease up his pain of his inner dark hatred that she can comfort and understand of what he is going through. In time skip, they would become a couple and since they have come from of their bloodlines, Both come from a notorious and noble clan, and their 3 kids would have crazy abilities. So yeah.

2.

Bea, from Pokemon Sword and Shield. Bea is a bae, must I need to say something else other than she is so cute? Yes? Fine, both want to improve and desire to get better. Bea got stoic emotionless facial expression like Sasuke but show her cute side once she do show emotion. In Headcanon, I really think Bea and Sasuke will be a wonderful couple. Sasuke come from different world get drag by legendary pokemon Arceus into Pokemon world. Sasuke have no idea or where to start of the world of Pokemon, Bea spot Sasuke to ask him for a pokemon battle but Sasuke doesn't know anything about pokemon but he will battle one of her pokemon, Bea will shock and confuse but seem to respect his determination to go along with it, she will use Machoke to battle Sasuke but little did she know that Sasuke quite capable in combat so he stomp Machoke very easily as Bea is surprise yet impress of how strong he is without using any pokemon. So on, Bea help Sasuke and explain the world about Pokemon and shorty she will have feeling for him. Sasuke will reciprocate those feeling toward Bea as well. They will have a very strong daughter.

1.

Sakura Kasugano, from Street Fighter.

Come on now, do I really need to explain why she is number one? She is cute, she is adorable, she is strong, she can cook very well, she have very cheerful personality, cute tomboy that everyone love, best Sakura of all Sakura, she is very determine to get better and stronger, she got beautiful look, she is athletics, and can have a ability to use Satsui no Hado into Sun Burn Sakura. She can brash toward Dan Hibiki just like Sasuke being brash toward Naruto. She is also calm and disciple like Sasuke. You know what, both got something in common, Sakura is being compare like Ryu or Ken same as Sasuke being compare to his older Itachi, however both are strive to be better. In headcanon, Sasuke leave his toxic world behind and enter the world of street fighter. Sakura meet Sasuke for the first time, both immediately fall in love in first sight. I really think Sakura will be the one that can help Sasuke's dark heart of hatred will be heal, they wiil have a wholesome life together. They will have two beautiful child, a son and a daughter.

[nox140497]

Prompt List

General prompts

1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

2. “It’s you. It always has been.”

3. “You’re everything I could’ve wanted and more.”

4. “Kiss me.”

5. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.” 

6. “You should probably go home.” “But I’m already home.”

7. “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.”

8. “I’d do anything for you.” 

9. “You took all the pillows, so I’m using you as one.”

10. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

11. “I’m so proud of you.” 

12. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

13. “I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

14.“You are my family.”

15. “I’m right here.”

16. “Can you just please hold me?” 

17. “I’m pretty sure (you’re/she’s/he’s/they’re) my soulmate”

18. “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

19. “You know, I think my (mother/father/parents) would be proud if I brought (you/her/him/them) home.” 

20. “I just want to see you happy.”

21. “I haven’t seen (her/him/them) smile like that in ages.” 

22. “You made me a better person. Thank you.” 

23. “I’d rather live in the woods with you than in a mansion with some (girl/boy/person) I barely know.”

24. “This reminded me of you.” 

25. “Your hair is really soft.”

26. “You’re really warm.”

27. “Are you blushing?”

28. “Can I stay here tonight?”

29. “Because I love you.”

30. “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”

31. “I’m never going to leave you. I promise.”

32. “Make a wish!”

33. “I love seeing you smile.”

34. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”

35. “I just want to be there for you.”

36. “I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”

37. “You’re just a softie.”

38. “You owe me.” “Fine, whatever you like.”

39. “You’re safe now, I’m here.”

40. “Why are you scared of loving?”

41. “You are crushing me right now.”

42. “Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen.”

43. “I love you.”

44. “You’re an idiot.” “But I am your idiot.”

45. “Take my hand. Just trust me.”

46. “You’re hurt. Please just let heal it.”

47. “At least let me clean it.”

48. “I told you to take care of yourself.”

49. “You’re the only thing that matters.”

50. “Stay.”

51. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

52. “You promised you’d stop drinking.” “And you promised you wouldn’t hurt me!″

53. “You promised you’d stop drinking.” “And you promised you wouldn’t hurt me!″

54. “I loved you.” “Then why did you let (her/him/them) get in between us?”

55. “Maybe they were right. You never did change.” 

56. “This is all in my head. It’s all happening in my head.”

57. “Don’t you dare walk away from this!” 

58. “What gives you the right to just waltz back into my life after all the pain you’ve caused.”

59. “You’ve changed.”

60. “You win, happy?”

61. “I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.”

62. “I wish we never met.”

63. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

64. “You deserve so much better.”

65. “I can’t keep playing pretend.”

66. “Leave.”

67. “What am I in your life? Because as of lately, I feel as though I’ve been nothing to you.”

68. “I don’t need help! I need an end to this pain.”

69. “You promised.”

70. “Sorry doesn’t fix everything.”

71. “Hasn’t this addiction done enough damage already?”

72. “You just threw four years of friendship out the window.”

73. “You broke me.”

74. “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say. Just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.” 

75. “They warned me about this.” “About what?” “You.” 

76. “I loved you. I loved you so so much, but you hurt me.” 

77. “I would’ve done anything for you.”

78. “I was happier with you.”

79. “They were perfect for each other.”

80. “I never would’ve thought (she/he/they)’d end up with someone else.”

81. “I risked my life for you.”

82. “You deserve better.”

83. “Move out of my way before I make you.”

84. “What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after. Sometimes it’s just once upon a time.” 

85. “I miss the old you.”

86. “You’re not you.”

87. “Let me go.”

88. “When did you stop loving me?”

89. “It’s always been (her/him/them).”

90. “Its (her/him/them), isn’t it?”

91. “Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you still love me.”

92. “Why did you wait until I moved on?”

93. “Any other lies left to tell me?”

94. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

95. “Have you been sleeping?”

96. “Are they really ‘just a friend’?”

97.“I wasn’t lying when i told you that I loved you.”

98. “I won’t hurt you.”

99. “Don’t let go.” 

100. “Do you want that?”

101. “Just let me stay.”

102. “Can I at least tell my side of the story?” 

103. “Do you trust me?” 

104. “Are you flirting with me?”

105. “Is the weight of your sins too heavy?”

106. “Just let me see (her/him/them) one last time. Please.”

107. “Are you afraid to die?”

108. “You look happy.” “I’m sorry, do I know you?” 

109. “I’m sorry, do I know you?” 

110. “Why can’t I get you out of my head?”

111. “Don’t let go.” 

112. “Just let me stay.”

113. “Come home.”

114. “I hope you’re happy.”

115. “They don’t need to know.”

116. “I made this for you.”

117. “Why is arson always your first answer?”

118. “Is this really the time for jokes?” “Is this really the time for jokes?” 

119. “You always do this.” 

120. “Wake me up when it’s over.” 

121. “Is that vodka? At 7 in the morning?”

122. “It’s not my choice.”

123. “Can we take this home?”

124. “Hey, look at me. Focus on me, alright?” 

125. “I haven’t seen (her/him/them) smile in months.”

126. “(She/he/they) don’t belong with (her/him/them)!” “Than who do(es) (she/he/they) belong with?” “…..with me.”

127. “Are they dead?”

128. “You want to play pretend? Well, two can play at that game.”

129. “Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”

130. “Come back to bed. Please.” “You’re who they warned me about.” 

131. “You’re who they warned me about.” 

132. “Come back.”

133. “You should’ve listened to me.”“I haven’t seen you in days.” 

134. “I haven’t seen you in days.” 

135. “Are you jealous?”

136. “Cheers, I’ll drink to that.” “You drink to everything.” “Cheers!”

137. “I love you.” “Tell me that when you’re sober.” 

138. “Why is there a deer in the room?” 

139. “It’s pouring rain. Why are you here?”

140. “Where are you?”

141. “I love you.” “You shouldn’t.”

142. “What happened?”

143. “Have you been taking care of yourself?”

144.“Is that blood?” “Yes but that doesn’t matter right now. What does matter is-” “You are literally bleeding.”

145. “Is that my book?”

146. “What’s wrong with your hand?”

147. “Is there a problem?”

148. “You never listen to me.”

149. “Do you see me laughing?”

150. “I don’t like this.”

151. “What the fuck is this?”

152. “Listen carefully.”

153. “Sounds kinky.”

154. “Do we have a problem?”

155. “I do not snore.”

156. “Did you get lost?”

157. “That’s a lot of cupcakes.”

158. “What smells like peaches?”

159. “I didn’t say it was a good idea.”

160. “You need to get out of there!”

161. “Think about what you’re doing.”

162. “You could have died.”

163. “I’m glad you’re here.”

164. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

165. “You should be more specific.”

166. “Who is that?”

167. “Don’t forget your coat.”

168. “Where’s my shirt?”

169. “You’re sick and you need to rest.”

170. “I was set up.”

171. “Don’t be so shy.”

172. “Wanna tell me what you’re doing in my kitchen at 3 am in the morning?”

173. “What is this about?”

174. “That shirt is awful. It would look better on the floor.”

175. “Don’t be stupid.”

176. “I am your superior and you will respect me.”

177. “Don’t you dare disobey another order.”

178. “Maybe you should go lay down.”

179. “Mind if I join you?”

180. “I’m not crazy.”

181. “This is my choice.”

182. “I’m not leaving.”

183. “Can I come in?”

184. “Sit down and shut up.”

185. “I can explain.”

186. “I double dare you.”

187. “I feel great.”

188. “Have it your way.”

189. “Diner is served.”

190. “Your wish is my command.”

191. “Enjoy your time off.”

192. “Where have you been?”

193. “Be safe.”

194. “How long have you been standing there?”

195. “When it happens to you enough you just learn to pick up on it.”

196. “It’s okay. I’m used to it.”

197. “I didn’t like you anyway.”

198. “Get out and don’t come back.”

199. “You’re everything to me, yet I’m nothing to you.”

200. “Please can we just talk this out?”

201. “There is nothing more we can do.”

202. “Stay with me!”

203. “Don’t look at me like that.”

204. “You know damn well why things are the way they are.”

205. “I never meant to fall in love with you.”

206. “Let go.”

207. “I hate you, but I think I hate myself more.”

208. “Look at me! C'mon, don’t do this!”

209. “I regret it all.”

210. “No. Don’t you dare shut me out!”

211. “You mean so much to me. Please let me help.”

212. “We can never start agian.”

213. “You’re gonna make it, just stay awake.”

214. “I promised myself I wouldn’t let anyone break my heart, yet here you are.”

215. You’re stronger than you think you are.

216. Nothing can hurt you, as long as I am here.

217. We love you!

218. You seem to have an untapped power within you. Whether you use it for good, or evil, is up to you.

219. I’ll beat the shit out of you for hurting them!/They’re our friend!

220. We will never judge you. You are perfect the way you are.

221. Kiss on the forehead; I hope we're together forever.

222. Don't ask for a kiss, take one.

223. This is me trying not to scare you away.

224. Slow dancing in the dark.

225. You make me feel safe.

226. You're being all cute and sweet it's making me want to kiss you.

227. You deserve someone who values you.

228. Shut up and kiss me.

229. No way... you're actually jealous

230. What is your problem?

231. If I could, I'd kiss away all your scars.

232. Please kiss me already.

233. Everyone keeps telling me you're the bad guy.

234. Please don't leave me.

235. I thought you didn't want me.

236. It was just a bad dream. None of it was real.

Harry Potter Specific prompts

1. "That potion is all wrong."

2. "Get your wand out of my face."

3. "We need to get you to the hospital wing!"

4. "Why can't they do the sorting after dinner? I'm starving!"

5. "Typical 'insert House name' ."

6. "Do you want to study by the lake?"

7. "Are you okay? That bludger nearly took your head off!"

8. "Will you go to the Yule Ball with me?"

9. "You look...amazing."

10. "Do you want to dance?"

11. "They say the Shrieking Shack is haunted...we should check it out."

12. "It's bloody freezing!"

13. "Woah, looks like you bought the whole of Honeydukes!"

14. "I'll never get the hang of this spell."

15. "That was amazing!"

16. "I'm...struggling to think of a happy enough memory for the patronus charm."

17. "Watch it, you nearly put me in the fireplace!"

[plasticpony4]

♡ My 2023 retrospective: egl version ♡ PART 5/9

September

The first lolita-related thing that happened was that I received by Taobao order!

I was really happy with the lavender and white wristcuffs, ring and candy hair accessories: they look good together, are well or decently made, and they match my AP jsk perfectly. You'll see it very soon. I was disappointed in the bloomers, which are of a really thin material, not stretchy, and very small. I can wear them but they're uncomfortable. I will probably give them to someone else and buy a new pair. The socks, necklace and eyelashes were okay. You probably already know them. The white bows were a gift from a seller. Oh, and you can barely see it but I also got a ice cream ring that I plan to use with my Milky Planet skirt or some other sweet coord.

Talking about Milky Planet, I also received the Milky Planet headbow and I regretted choosing to buy it in sax (I wanted to use it with my Sugary Carnival OP that you can see in the picture, which is, in fact, sax, but a lot lighter and less saturated). I should have got the yellow one like a normal personal (my skirt is yellow).

It was still incredibly hot in September, though, so I definitely couldn't wear a blouse. I did end up wearing lolita anyway, because it was time to attend the local con, as I wanted to meet my friends and the guest of honor Igarashi Yumiko (she made Candy Candy, Anne of Green Gables, and other extremely important shoujo manga that influenced lolita fashion too).

This is the coord that I wore. It was inspired by her work. The JSK I'm wearing is Sweet Ribbon Strawberry Switching JSK by Angelic Pretty.

And she said I was cute and wanted to take a photo with me!!!

These are the things that I got:

I missed the second day of the con because I went to a job interview which was, funnily enough, held at the same space where the con was happening (I didn't get the job though).

On the third day I wore this super cute coord (with the accessories I bought from taobao) and went back again! The JSK is Angelic Pretty's Dream Drop JSK.

It ended up being one of my favorite coords of the year, even though it's nothing special. But I felt good and even pretty in it and it's now eternally tied to this pleasant feeling. I think that us lolitas tend to forget that clothes are supposed to not only look good, or to help us forget about how ugly our life can be, but we're also supposed to actually wear them and feel good while wearing them. If we always wear clothes that are too tight and uncomfortable we will connect those things to lolita and in the end that's what lolita will mean for us. I want to remember the joy and the physical sensation of wearing cute clothes and walking around in them having fun and being myself, and cherish them forever. Also I like how I edited this pics (but they're not heavily edited, so that's another plus for me).

Look at her, she's definitely one of us.

Also during this month I celebrated Talk Like a Pirate Day by wearing a pirate-inspired outfit. Though it wasn't a lolita one, I was wearing some lolita accessories and I liked how he looked with my bow.

October

In October I received my first ever order from Akatako, and one of the things I got is this Tama key holder (on the right). Even though the girl in this artwork is not wearing lolita, Tama is one of the most well-known artists that consistently draws lolitas. Sorry about the postcard on the left, I don't have a photo of just the key holder. It's still cute and consistent with what I post on my blog though.

It was the warmest October of my life and we even risked wearing short sleeves for Halloween.

I went to one of our local meets at the beginning of the month. @puredeathwish was there too! The theme was Sanrio characters and I obviously picked Cinnamoroll. As you can see, I was wearing Sugary Carnival. I have a love/hate relationship to this dress, as I bought it on preorder when it first released back in the day (I was like 15 then and I'm 31 now) and it was my favorite lolita piece ever for many years. Eventually I wore it too much and I started hating it. I think it faded over time and I don't know if I still like it or not, but it has too much sentimental value to let it go.

I'm a little bit of a Cinnamoroll fangirl, sorry.

Some other photos from said meet:

The woman in the background on the right in the first picture was too intent in staring at us and tripped and fell to the ground.

Dinosaur!

Oops, I reached the image limit for this post. You'll see more of that day and year in part 6!

[END OF PART 5/9]

[more-than-i-can-say-blog]

26. We’re doing okay at being friends, sometimes it doesn’t even hurt anymore, when I remember that we’re, you know, just friends. I’m one year sober, in a few days. A couple weeks ago I tried to hang myself in my hospital room bathroom. The very mind that is mine, overtaken with thoughts of hatred and nothingness. But today, today I was here. I was alive to celebrate my oldest sons birthday.

25. I keep drinking. Hundreds of bottles of crown have passed through this void. Never to fill it. Never to even make a puddle. Im drunk all the time. Slurring words and ruining lives. Ripping apart our relationship at its very seams. The love I have for you is real. I don’t know why I do the things I do.

24. I’ve lost my best friend. And the last of the three people who raised me. Drunken autopilot.

Break up, make up, break up, make up.

Last year I fell in love. The kind of love that only nicholas sparks can dream up.

23. Last month of the year and boy was it the best. Peer pressure turned out to be a party. And luck was in my favor this time. Her name is cait. Caitlin. With an I. Apparently it was special to her that I knew that. I knew my whole life I wasn’t meant for a man. And now I’ve found my reason why.

My grandma got diagnosed with breast cancer. Heartbreak. One I’ve never felt before. Like somehow I was living. But for days I was on autopilot, shut off from the world but somehow also shut off from myself I morned her death while she was still alive, liquor always helps the hurt.

22. We welcomed our third baby boy.

My friend and I have some drinks. I kinda like alcohol. But I have to be careful, my families both have alcoholics.

21. We welcomed a second baby boy.

20.

19. We welcomed a baby boy this year.

18. We welcomed a baby girl this year. My uncle passed away. He was like my best friend.

17. I met a guy online, he says I’m the girl of his dreams. Maybe I was meant to be with a guy. Maybe those thoughts about girls were a phase. Maybe I’m normal. The pills stopped.

Oh my god, I’m pregnant.

16. My virginity was stolen by a monstrous, evil man. Feelings of hate start growing. I hate you. I hate everything about you. Before I really knew you, I looked up to you.

You ripped to shreds, the very fabric of my innocence. Now my self worth is based on what people think of me. I live my life with flashbacks and paranoia.

I slept with one guy that I actually through was cool. Until I lost our baby and he never spoke to me again.

15. Another psych stay.

14. Another psych stay.

Hey pills. How are ya? Percocet, vicodin, tramadol, they numb your pain right? Emotional pain too?

13. I don’t quite remember exactly when it started. The autopilot. I got put in a psych unit for “at risk youth”

Drinking pretty fun.

12. I kissed my best friend this year. I told her how I felt about girls, and she feels the same way. I’m not alone.

11. Boy crazy. But, that girl on tv is catching my attention.

10. Why don’t boys interest me like they do my peers? Boy crazy.

9.

8. I don’t know why I feel like this. I’m so young yet my mind is so dark. Full of self hate. I got suspended because a teacher caught me throwing my bloody razor in the bathroom garbage can. I don’t think I’m normal.

7. The older girl across the street molested me. Though I don’t know that word nor the action until much later.

6.

5. Kindergarten is really fun. I really love my teacher.

4.I see aunt lora when I go to daycare. She works in the kitchen, I see her a lot.

3.

2.

1. My grandmother took me in at two months old. Freshly home from the nicu, born 10 weeks early and almost died from rsv.

0. I bet my mom was so happy. When she found out she was having a girl. I bet she loved me so much.

[mishasminions]

Here’s why the Supernatural Series Finale Sucked

(AND IT REALLY ISN’T JUST BECAUSE CAS/MISHA WASN’T IN IT)

First of all, I’d like to state, that this perspective is coming from someone who has watched, invested in, and dissected this show for 15 years. I’ve tried to rationalize and justify every single decision each of the main characters made throughout the years, and I’ve always tried to make sense of each of their story arcs from a “bigger picture” standpoint as each season progressed.

Anyway, before I can properly explain why the finale sucked, let me quickly take you through 15 seasons by segregating them into 3 eras, because you can’t really comprehend what Supernatural is about and what it’s become without going through how it tried to expand its universe.

SEASONS 1-5: THE KRIPKE ERA

Now, we all know that Kripke was always set in wrapping up Sam and Dean’s story in 5 seasons, and he did just that.

So, in this era, Supernatural is about two brothers who set out on a journey to fulfill “the family business”. They hunt mythical monsters that terrorize the world, while battling the monsters within themselves. Their ultimate “big bad” is an apocalypse.

Towards the end of this era, we find out that Sam and Dean are actually a parallel to Biblical characters who are brothers turned rivals. And that Sam and Dean’s destiny is to go up against each other.

However, as a dynamic, they have always been about making their own choices, choosing free will, and having a brotherly bond that can power through against any obstacle at any given day.

So, this era is neatly wrapped up with its finale. The characters grow, and get justified endings.

Dean, a man who thinks of himself as two things: 1. Sam’s older brother and protector; and 2. Daddy’s blunt little instrument.

He’s spent his whole life believing that that was his only purpose, and he knew that the only ending he’ll get would either be a bloody death fulfilling his duty to the family business; or laying his life on the line to save his brother.

Dean gets the ending he thought was never possible for him, something he thought he could never deserve. After years of living and dying for his family, he gets a shot at having an apple pie life--to settle down with a nice girl, raise a kid in a house with a white picket fence. With Sam gone, Dean’s responsibility now is to himself.

Sam, on the other hand, never wanted any part of it, because he wasn’t groomed the way Dean was, and because thanks to Dean, Sam wasn’t traumatized or forced into growing up too quickly the way Dean was.

So Sam aspires for a normal life, and works the cases with Dean so he can maybe get some semblance of it, when everything they set out to kill are laid to rest.

Ultimately, Sam performs a selfless act for his brother, who has given up everything for him, and for their cause--to save the world.

The journey is this: Dean sacrifices everything to save Sam, and Sam sacrifices himself so Dean could live.

Apart from being Dean’s “savior” and guardian angel, Castiel’s role in this era is to serve as a mirror to Dean’s journey. Castiel goes from being heaven’s foot soldier, following “God’s orders”; to an angel who learns to choose and feel for the first time in his existence.

After they realize that they’re both daddy’s blunt instruments, Dean starts choosing his own path for himself, and convinces Castiel to join him. Castiel stops following heaven, and starts following Dean.

In the end, with his newfound understanding of the world thanks to Dean, Castiel goes back to heaven to reform it.

We’ve resolved the biblical arc, and the character journeys.

SEASONS 6-10: THE SPIN-OFF ERA

So this is where the show realizes how vast its universe can be, so it tries to expand it by tapping into uncharted lands and experimenting with it.

They take on heaven, reform hell, explore purgatory, have the angels fall, turn Dean into a demon, and kill Death.

Dean and Sam recognize their codependency, and try to rise above it.

They go back and forth between which brother will risk it all for the greater good every other season.

Dean and Cas strengthen their relationship by recognizing the impact they have on each other’s lives.

Cas structures his life and decisions around Dean (Seasons 6-7), and Dean learns to trust and fight for Cas (Seasons 8-9).

Sam and Cas bond (mostly over Dean) because of their shared rationales in decision-making.

Dean, Sam, and even Cas also forge relationships with the people they work with. The concept of “found family” is introduced here.

This era was heavy on the plot while establishing, reinforcing, and solidifying relationships and dynamics.

At this point, it wasn’t just about the brothers anymore.

If Supernatural had ended in Season 10, the logical finale would’ve been Team Free Will, along with the family that they’ve found, going up against the latest big bad (Death or whoever). Maybe they lose them along the way, maybe they all make it out alive, or maybe they go down swinging, but at least the show recognizes and supports the message they keep saying, “Family don’t end with blood”

SEASONS 11-15: THE REWRITE ERA

This is where the show runs out of ideas and decides to invalidate the seasons that came before it.

From bringing Mary back (basically rendering their whole journey pointless because they’ve literally started hunting because of her death), to changing the stipulations in being Michael and Lucifer’s vessels (another character struggle rendered useless), to God himself breaking the fourth wall by saying that the Winchesters get away with everything because “they’re the main characters in his story and everything they’ve been through was just part of a badly written narrative”.

But what we’re getting from this era is that Sam and Dean, along with Cas (who has also deviated from the story) ARE trying to escape a badly written narrative.

That’s the “big bad” in this era. The writer.

At this point, the characters have picked up so many strays (including those from alternate universes), and have settled into their roles in their “found family”. Dean, Sam, and Cas all become surrogate dads and uncles.

They’ve also graduated from the whole “we’re on different sides” and “going behind each other’s backs” drama. And they just want the whole family together.

They’ve all resigned themselves to the cause, but they’re also tired. Dean allows himself to contemplate about wanting more out of life or at least getting a vacation. Sam, on the other hand, realizes his capabilities as an effective leader. Castiel learns to love another being that isn’t Dean (spoiler: it’s Jack).

However, they also realize that they’ve just been puppets on a string all this time.

So what they want now, is to write their own story, and make their own choices knowing that God/the writer isn’t the one fueling their narrative.

So here’s why the finale sucks:

Andrew Dabb, the current showrunner, said that there would be two finales.

15x19 - The finale to wrap up Season 15, and 15x20 - The finale to wrap up the series by “resolving the characters’ journey”

In 15x19 the boys find a way to de-power God/the writer. For the first time in their whole lives, they are free from the story. Their lives are completely theirs now. They can make their own decisions. There are no more “big bads” to fight

And here’s what happens in 15x20:

Immediately after being freed from their story arc, Dean and Sam go back to hunting the monster of the week.

Dean eats pie, gets nailed (literally), makes a 10-minute speech to Sam because he knows he’s dying, then he goes to heaven.

Dean is greeted by Bobby, his surrogate Dad who he hasn’t seen (fully alive) since Season 7. Bobby’s expository dialogue comprises of him explaining that he got out of heaven’s jail, that John and Mary are next door, and that Jack and Cas fixed the dynamics of heaven off-screen.

The first thing Dean decides to do is go for a long drive in his Impala (as if he hasn’t done enough of that already).

Meanwhile, Sam decides to stop hunting after Dean dies, he gets the apple pie life he hadn’t wanted since Season 8 (while Dean was in Purgatory), and names his kid “Dean” for effect. He grows old and dies.

Dean drove around in heaven for so long that Sam catches up to him.

They hug. The end.

Great, right?

After 15 years of struggling to battle their own respective destinies, going up against big bads and even bigger bads, then finally being able to take charge of their own stories, Dean and Sam regress to hunting the monster of the week, and get killed off by a nail and old age. Okay.

Sam gets to retire and have a family, sure, but they still focus on him and the kid he named after his dead brother. Still just “Sam and Dean” through and through. Nothing to do with found family. Just lineage. Just blood. And it ends there.

See, the problem here is that this ending would’ve been passable in The Kripke Era. But we’re 10 years down the road since, and while Sam and Dean are the original main characters, the show isn’t just about them and their codependent relationship anymore.

So you see, even if you take out the whole “Castiel deserves to be in the finale because he’s also a main character with an unfinished story arc” argument, the finale still does no justice to the series it tried to “wrap up”.

But anyway, now I’ll make the case for the problem with Castiel not being in the finale:

In 15x18, we get a 5-minute rushed confession from Castiel to Dean. The context of which are as follows:

1. Earlier in the episode, Dean had wounded Death with her scythe. We later find out that this wound is fatal.

2. Their friends start to “blip out” in a Thanos-like snap, and Dean thinks that Death is causing it, so Dean seeks her out, and Cas goes with him.

3. Dean and Cas anger Death, apparently for no reason because she didn’t even do the thing they thought she did. She chases them to try to kill them

4. Dean and Cas lock themselves in a room. Dean starts a pity party.

5. As Dean goes through hating himself out loud, Cas decides to inform Dean of the deal he made with The Empty. He then proceeds to explain the stipulation of the deal (that he would get taken once he experiences a moment of true happiness), then discusses his newfound happiness philosophy. Dean is getting whiplash.

6. Cas goes on to imply that the one thing that he wanted that he knew he couldn’t have is Dean Winchester reciprocating his romantic feelings for him. (Don’t even try to fight me on this because Cas already has Dean’s platonic love, and he knows that Dean thinks of him as a brother, so if he really meant this in a “familial” way, then why would he think that he couldn’t have the thing that would make him happy?) So Cas’ realization is that telling Dean about his feelings is enough to make him happy.

7. Cas tells Dean all the reasons why he loves him (thereby combating Dean’s self-deprecation tirade), and all the reasons why he’s worthy of his love. Meanwhile, Dean is still winded from the fact that Cas is about to sacrifice himself for him again.

8. Dean never gets to process anything, because Cas is shoving him out of the way, as he and Death (who busts through the door) get taken by The Empty.

After this episode, Dean never speaks of it. Misha Collins supposes that Dean doesn’t reciprocate. Jensen Ackles says that Dean didn’t really get to process it because it was too much, too fast, and that Dean, still dense as ever, thinks that Cas, a celestial being, doesn’t interpret human feelings the same way.

So what was the point of this confession?

Politics and sensitivities of a 2005 network television aside, what does this do for the story?

Cas proclaims his romantic feelings to Dean, but Dean never acknowledges it, doesn’t even give it a passing thought afterwards. So Cas’ big declaration goes unheard.

Cas cashes in on his Empty deal to kill Death (who was dying anyway), in order to save Dean who dies two episodes after.

Dean makes no effort to save Cas (despite being really broken up about his previous deaths, or even spending a whole year in Purgatory looking for him), even after they’ve beaten God, not even asking Jack (who has all the power in the universe) to bring him back (when Jack has already done it before, with less mojo).

Dean moves on to fight the monster of the week. Somewhere off-screen, Jack rescues Cas from The Empty, but Cas uncharacteristically doesn’t even bother to go to Dean? (Every single time he comes back, Dean’s always the first person he goes to)

And Cas, who apparently helped craft and reform the new heaven, isn’t the one who welcomes Dean and explains the new dynamics of it?

Sure, Jan.

Supernatural, you’ve created a finale that only your casual viewers and people who dipped out after Season 5 can appreciate.

Just goes to show how much you actually valued the people who actually invested in your story and characters, and consistently helped keep your show on the air.

[RT this on Twitter]

[athletickat]

Top Reads 2020 Fanfiction

I started reading Harry Potter fanfiction this year (thanks to Tik Tok) and these stories I’ve read keep me up at night because I cannot stop thinking about them. 

#1- Manacled by @senlinyu

This is story is a MASTERPIECE. I cannot express how many times I’ve read and thought about this story. The way Hermione loves Draco and Draco loves Hermione is unbeatable. Hermione is a literal boss bitch in this story and my favorite Hermione in everything I’ve read. The build up, the tension, the CHEMISTRY; it is the best thing I have ever read. I could write a whole damn brook report on this story and be proud of it. This story is just... ugh *ultimate chefs kiss*.

#2- Rights and Wrongs series by @lovesbitca8 

The Right Thing To Do, All the Wrong Things, and The Auction are my absolute favorite pieces of writing ever. Draco Malfoy in this series is my horny king, and the best Draco in everything I’ve read. The Auction has a special place in my heart because of hard Hermione works to stay alive and keep the Malfoys alive, as well. All the characters in each story are so well written, especially the Malfoys, and I cannot express how in love I am with each little plot detail and connection between the stories.   

#3- Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing

I recently read this story and I cannot get enough of it. This is first fic I’ve read with a wedding scene (two scenes!!) and I cannot put it in words of how perfect it is. This story is all about the love Draco and Hermione have for each other, and it has set such unrealistic expectations for me...ugh. Every chapter had me smiling like an idiot and I could not put it down. 

#4- Cruel and Beautiful World by Lena Phoria 

I am so happy that Lena Phoria turned this fanfiction into a book, but nothing beats the original characters in this story. The way I fell in love with all the characters (except Voldemort, gross) is immaculate. This story deals with a lot of trauma and heavy topics, but the plot and the characters are just too good. Draco is a sweetheart and absolutely whipped for Hermione, but they need each other. I have never laughed so hard while reading a dark AU fic, and this story made my abs hurt. Definitely one to read.

#5- All You Want by @senlinyu

Holy shit. This story has the best smut I have ever read. The way senlinyu describes what's happening to Alpha Draco and Omega Hermione during sex makes me laugh out loud. It is so so good and so so sexy. It is such a fun story to read, and that’s why I love it so much. 

#6- Breath mints / Battle Scars by @onyx-and-elm

This story is the definition of toxicity, but honestly, it’s still so good. Both Hermione and Draco are changed after the war, and they fall in love by rage, sex, and protection of one another. Hermione does not give a single damn about what people may say about her, and Draco just wants her to be happy (although it does take a while for him to see what that really means). Plot and characters are amazing, and the ending is *chefs kiss*.

#7- Isolation by Bex-chan 

The first Dramione fanfiction I’ve ever read, and it has a very special place in my heart. I didn’t think I would like reading Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger fanfiction, but this story changed my mind and led to my spiral of reading such amazing stories. Such an amazing read, and I love seeing Draco grow into a man that Hermione deserves and loves. This story is iconic.

#8- Hunted by Bex-chan

Another superb story by Bex-chan. A Romance/Mystery story after the war and Draco and Hermione fall in love... hard. They are great together and the plot is amazing. This story is another iconic one for me.

#9- Love and Other Misfortunes by @senlinyu

Another great piece of work from the Queen herself, senlinyu. Draco is so stubborn it hurts, but it’s okay because Hermione is there to save the day (duh). Love these two and the romance between them in this story. Also, Veela Draco with wings and fangs is too much for me. Not that it’s important or anything, but the smut level is through the roof. Love it.

#10- Bring Him to His Knees by @willhavetheirtrinkets

Auror Draco and Auror Harry are an iconic duo. I love how intricate Draco is in this story, and how his past still very much affects his present, but Hermione helps him a lot, and it shows just how much they care for each other. Hermione and Draco dance around each other until they realize *wait* they have feelings for each other! It is not complete yet, but I do check every week or so for updates because it has a good murder mystery plot and a fabulous Dramione. 

#11- The Risk-Reward Ratio by MissiAmphetamine

War fic, and honestly one of my favorite ones. Draco sucks up his pride and goes to the Order for help, and Hermione is the only one who truly excepts him. Draco is a stubborn bastard in this story, but he makes up for it. The scenes are so real, and neither character is perfect, but you’ll see how far they are willing to go for each other. 

#12- The Just World Fallacy by MissiAmphetamine

Sequel to The Risk-Reward Ratio, and this one is tough. Still so good, but deals with torture, PTSD, rape, and more heavy topics. The love that still stands between Draco and Hermione even after all that they have been through together is beautiful. I love this story, and I love seeing how each character grows into their own person while during a war.

#13- Broken by @inadaze22

I have never cried so much while reading a story. This story made ME feel broken because Hermione is quite literally shattered, but so is Draco. It’s a story that makes you feel so many things at once and it is beautiful. Super slow-burn, but in the end, Hermione and Draco are meant to be together. 

#14- This World or Any Other series by @olivieblake

Clean and Marked are incredible stories with a rollercoaster twist. I love each character in this series, and the love that Hermione has for Draco, and vice versa, is the most powerful thing in this universe. The relationship starts with a potion assignment and just extends through there. I love their characters so much alongside the secondary characters and it makes the story so interesting. 6th year Hogwarts and continues with the war, but Draco and Hermione are always there for each other no matter what. 

#15- The Eagles Nest by HeartOfApsen

Ravenclaw Draco and Hermione, 8th year, and Alchemy. This story is so complex, and I couldn’t stop reading it. I love both Draco and Hermione and how they work to settle a problem together. Also seeing all the secret rooms in Hogwarts was another compelling aspect of the story that I loved. They know they need each other, and them being nerds and all, school is what brings them together in the end.

#16- Almost Perfect, Almost Yours by BelleOfSummer

I could not put down this story. No matter how much it angered me, and no matter how much I wanted to throw my laptop at the wall, I couldn’t stop reading. The plot is so interesting where Hermione is raised by a Pureblood family, but she was adopted from muggles, so she is Muggleborn. All the while her and Draco fall in love through their teen years and go through a war together. Hermione is a bad bitch and Draco is whipped (maybe not in a good way). They experience so much together, and in the end, you learn to love them for who they are.

#17- The Green Girl by @colubrina

Hermione is sorted into Slytherin and makes all new friends that do not include Harry Potter or Ronald Weasley. I freaking love this story because Hermione is a literal Queen, and the story itself is so well written. I don’t usually read T-rated works, but I could not put this one down because it has such an interesting plot.

#18- Erised Effect by @adaprix

Smut, smut, and more smut with such a cute plot. I love little Hermione as a bad bitch and big dick Draco as a little softy. I was hooked from the first chapter and it was so crazy. The sex scenes in this are just... *fans self*. This story is a rollercoaster of smut, but Draco and Hermione are my all time favs in this.

#19- Every Day, a Little Death by @lovesbitca8

Draco tries everything to satisfy Hermione, and when I say everything, I mean everything. Such a cute story with such a cute relationship. Hermione doesn’t mean to fall in love, but alas, Draco is a sex God and it was inevitable. I love this story!

#20- Crimson with a Silver Lining by Lady Cailan

A dark AU where Draco is mesmerized by Hermione and her will to stay alive. Their love is so strong, but alas, Draco is a stubborn bastard. This story is an emotional rollercoaster and another story where I could not put it down. Also *spoiler* some family drama going on throughout the story. 

#21- Bond by MrBenzedrine89

*fans self* again because this story is incredible. Love the smut, love the club, love the love between Draco and Hermione. Super interesting details in this story with Draco, Hermione, and the infamous Bond club. Loved reading this story.

I fell down a rabbit whole of Dramione stories this year, and it made me ignore everything I had to in my life just to read them. I can’t wait to see more stories this year and procrastinate my life by reading these stories!

[specialagentlokitty]

Hotch x reader - never forget

Would you be willing to do 1, 5, and 9 (from the 2 prompt list) with Hotch and fem!reader. I like angst and you are very good at it. Also love your work. 💜💙 - Anon💜

1. “And she looked at me… like there was something worth looking at…”

5. “I wish we had more time together, I’m sorry it had to end this way.”

9. “The way she/they/he talks about you, I would’ve thought you built the earth itself.”

You didn’t want it to go this way, you wanted to be happy, to finally experience a life where you didn’t have to worry about looking over your shoulder.

But you knew it was never going to be that easy, it was never going to be like that.

Standing by the front door, bag on your back, you smiled softly at the man in front of you.

“Why are you leaving?” Aaron asked.

“I have too…”

“But why? You haven’t told me anything.” He sighed.

“I will. Some day, just not right now.” You smiled.

You turned to the car what was waiting for you on the other side of the street before turning back to Aaron.

Leaning up, you pressed a tender kiss to his cheek before you pulled away.

“I wish we had more time together, I’m sorry it had to end this way…” you whispered.

You quickly left, not daring to look back at him.

You knew there was no way that you would be seeing him again. It was too dangerous, and you didn’t want to risk him or Jack just so you could be happy.

Life, unfortunately, wasn’t always fair.

And this was one of the times it was unfair.

So as tears burned your eyes, you climbed into the back of the waiting SUV and gave a small nod of your head, a signal to the driver to start driving.

“I’m sorry.”

You turned to the man next to you and smiled, shaking your head.

“Don’t be Phil, I knew this day would come at some point. I just… didn’t expect to fall in love was all.”

Coulson smiled softly, placing his hand on your shoulder as he gave it a comforting squeeze.

“Tell me about him.”

So you did.

You told your friend about Aaron, how he was selfless and caring and always put others first before himself.

You told him about the work that Aaron did and the people he worked with, and about the dates he would take you on and how he treated you with such love and care.

You told Coulson everything until you couldn’t find anything else to tell him.

By that point, you had arrived at HQ, and you quickly jumped into the work you were given to do.

Slowly, the months slipped by and you weren’t as upset about having to leave anymore, but sometimes it still hurt.

Bandaging your arm, you sat on the table and looked around at all the doctors that were busy doing their own thing.

“You know, you’re supposed to wait for a doctor to do that.”

“They’re busy.”

You smiled at Maria and she rolled her eyes at you.

Getting up, you followed her out of the med bay and into the hallway where you started to walk.

She handed you a file and you took it, opening it as you slowly read through it.

Stopping in the hallway, you looked at her confused.

“You need to go into hiding. You’ll be going with Romanoff and Barton tonight.”

“What about aaron? Jack?”

“They’ll be safe.”

“Maria, what are you going to tell them?”

“I can’t say. Sorry. Just go get your stuff ready.”

You nodded and went to your room.

You didn’t want to break their hearts anymore then they already were, but you weren’t getting a say in the matter.

You knew what they were going to be told.

That you had died in an accident.

It’s usually how it went.

Sighing, you sat on your bed and waited.

Hearing a knock on his door, Aaron walked over it and answered it, not really thinking about who it could be.

Standing on the other side was a neatly dressed man.

“Aaron Hotchner?” He asked.

“Who are you?”

Hotch immediately put his guard up, ready to fight if he had too.

“I’m a friend of (Y/N)s. Coulson.”

Coulson pulled a photo from his pocket and handed it over, letting Aaron inspect it before he handed it back and nodded his head.

Stepping aside, Hotch let him in and they both took a seat.

“Where is she? Is she okay?”

“That’s why I’m here… you need to move on from her.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“It’s for your own safety.” Coulson sighed.

“I love her! I’m not just going to move on and forget her as if she was nothing.”

“Why?”

Aaron smiled softly.

“She was everything, caring, patient, hardworking, loving. She was everything, and after not feeling the feeling of loving someone for a while, she was amazing and comforting me.”

He looked at the photo of you and him in the wall before turning back to Coulson.

“And she looked at me… like there was something worth looking at…”

All Coulson did was smile and nod his head as he stood up.

“The way she talks about you, I would’ve thought you built the earth itself.”

With that, he made his way back over to the door but he was quickly stopped by Aaron.

“When is she coming home?”

Coulson opened his mouth to rely but quickly shut it again and shook his head as he opened the door.

“She passed away this morning, car accident. I’m sorry.”

With that, he was gone. Leaving aaron in bits while you were being transported to a completely different country.

Coulson wasn’t lying.

You hadn’t physically died, but a part of you definitely died this night. A part of you that you knew you’d never get back

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Reason to Come Back (Bucky Barnes x reader)

Reason to come back

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 3574

Request: "can you do something where seb(or one of his characters)and reader used to date and one day he broke up with her and after a short time he comes up with a new girl(not cheating)and the reader thinks that she’s worthless and not beautiful or good enough and that’s why he broke up with her and tries to be better(you know what to do•_-) and silently suffering etc. and with a happy ending where they get back together"

Warnings: mentions of a breakup, angst, depression, very slight mentions of disordered eating and exercise (very slight, not like most of my other fics), general feelings of worthlessness, angst

Tags: @buckys2thicc @mardema @stucky-on-spiderman @abitgryffindorky @freigeistundanderes @barnesplums @thatfangirl42 @buckfics @babyboibucky 

A/N: I AM SO SORRY TO THE ANON THAT REQUESTED THIS SO LONG AGO AND THAT IT TOOK SO LONG! I don’t even know if they’re still here, I feel so bad. I got an anon request for this fic and I did not know about the inbox for Tumblr accounts until just recently because I’m incompetent. There’s no excuse for me taking so long to write it, but I wanted to even though it’s been 9 months since they sent it. If you’re still here anon, thank you for sticking with me!

NEW NOTE 06/04/21: I rewrote this to be for Bucky as opposed to Sebastian. It is still mostly the same, just reworded in some places. This is meant to take place in reference to the timeline of tfatws and mentions moments from the show. I am referencing “the time he was gone” as the series episode 1-6. I don’t know how much time passed but I assume it was at least a few weeks if not longer (especially between episodes 5 and 6). That’s how I wrote it.

------------------------

It was a quiet night, you under some blankets on the couch watching a movie. There was an empty bowl aside from a few popcorn kernels on the coffee table in front of you, the movie more for background noise than entertainment. You were scrolling through your phone mindlessly, looking for a distraction that would keep you occupied.

Not that it was working too well. There wasn’t much that could distract you from the fact that you were alone.

9 months. You had dated for 9 months. Not that he had been around for much of it. He had been with Sam on an extended mission, and he had been gone for a few weeks. You didn’t know much about the mission, Bucky wasn’t allowed to tell you. For your safety. You understood. It was his job, you knew that, but it could be lonely most of the time. He would call or text you if he could, but he couldn’t compromise his location. You were always happy to hear from him, but it wasn’t the same as when he was around.

You knew this would happen, and you had accepted that. It was hard, but you could manage.

You hadn’t heard from him in a weeks, but you didn’t think much of it. He and Sam must have gotten closer to the answers they had been looking for. You could only hope that he was safe. it took a toll on you, worrying about him, but you had been so happy when he had said he was coming home. But when he walked through the door, he didn’t seem excited at all.

You had wrapped your arms around him, and he had hesitantly hugged you back gently. You had known something was wrong almost immediately, pulling back and trying to meet his eyes. “Babe? Are you okay?”

“We should talk,” he said, struggling to meet your eyes.

You pulled your eyes together with concern. “Yeah, yeah what’s wrong?”

“I, uh… I don’t know if this is gonna work out.”

You shook your head, surprised. “What do you mean? What happened?”

“I just don’t think you and I work with 1,000 miles between us.”

“What?” you said in disbelief. “You’re the one who has to leave and I told you that I’m okay with it, and I am. I never thought you’d be the one with the problem with it.”

“Y/n -”

“We can work this out, Buck. You said it yourself, you don’t normally go away for that long. I’m not going anywhere, I - ”

“I can’t ask you to stay, y/n,” he said, cutting you off. You shut your mouth and shook your head. “Where is this coming from, what happened?” you asked.

He cleared his throat. “I should go.”

“You don’t get to walk away from this like that!” you exclaimed, nearly yelling.

“And I don’t have the right to expect you to wait for months while I’m out trying to save people. I thought it’d be fine but I couldn’t stop thinking about you here, alone. There’s going to be more missions, more danger. They recreated the serum. Who knows what else they’ll be able to create? You shouldn’t have to deal with that.”

“You don’t get to make that choice for me! I told you I’m okay with it and I still am, Bucky! I know the risks!” you said, tears pricking your eyes.

He looked away. “You deserve much better than me. Someone who can be there for you.”

You walked up to him and cupped his face. “You’re all I could ever want Bucky. Distance be damned.”

He sighed and pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tightly for a moment. “I have to go y/n. I’m sorry.”

He let you go and turned around, not even looking back to say goodbye.

That had been a couple of weeks ago. You had been crushed at first, devastated. But you were still able to function in your day-to-day life. You had a few friends to hype you up or cry with you, whatever the day was. You were able to still get to work, try to move on. And it was getting better, but the nights were still hard. It wasn’t the same when you knew he wouldn’t be coming home.

During the day you could pretend like you were waiting for that night when he would be able to call you. But at night, it was dark and you didn’t have a person you wanted to call.

You weren’t bitter, in a way you understood. You had known how relationships could be ruined by distance and work. But being a super soldier wasn’t a typical line of work. You had been okay with it, but you hadn’t thought that it would’ve affected Bucky as much as it seemed to. You had been emotional at the time, but looking back on it you could understand where he was coming from. Relationships were two-sided - just because you felt okay didn’t guarantee he was.

You knew what he did was dangerous. You had accepted that there might not have always been a happy ending. Maybe he hadn’t.

But then one day you had walked into a bar, only to see Bucky flirting with another girl, laughing away..

That was all you needed to see.

You didn’t want to read too much into it, any kind of situation could be misread. But him laughing with a very attractive girl over drinks shortly after becoming single - you couldn’t help but wonder.

You tried to tell yourself that it didn’t matter, that you were reading everything wrong, but your heart still felt as though it was breaking.

She was gorgeous. Much more so than you, you had thought.

Was that why he left? Was he just wanting to get himself back out there? Had he met her and just needed to get rid of you?

You didn’t want to think that way, none of it was true. He wouldn’t do that, he was a good man. But still…

Maybe if you were different it would’ve been harder for him to leave.

Maybe you hadn’t given him a good enough reason to stay.

And maybe, if you were better, prettier, he would come back.

It started small - making more of an effort to go to the gym, not ordering takeaways every night, that sort of thing. Not that you had much of an appetite to begin with. But you didn’t realize when your days had become full of going from work to the gym, nor why you had freaked out so much when you had sprained an ankle and couldn’t do your normal workout.

You had decided to work your arms those next few days to supplement the cardio you had missed. You had kept this up until you woke up one morning struggling to turn over because you were so sore. You decided that that day, you could take a rest day.

A rest day turned into a rest week, and soon enough you were only leaving your house to go to work. And only because you needed money.

You had cut yourself off from most of your contacts, still replying every now and then so they wouldn’t be concerned. You didn’t go out with them or call them because you were worried they would see right through you. Better to stay home. Your bed would never judge you.

You had become familiar with the spots on the wall, the streaks from god knows what, the way that light would filter through your window as the sun ascended and descended the sky. Hours could pass and you could still be in the same position.

You had to keep up a front around everyone. Letting people know how much you were hurting was not an option for you. Then they would ask what was wrong and pull you aside and look at you with this concerned face that you couldn’t deal with. It was the one that everyone always gave when someone was having a bad day, the one people put on when they wanted you to think that they cared. Sometimes they did, but most of the time a person with any sense of morals would put that face on to make a person think that they cared. It’s the same way “How are you?” is more of a greeting than a genuine question.

There were people who cared, but you didn’t want to have that conversation. You didn’t even know what you were doing anymore. It was an honest thought of bettering yourself, but it was for the wrong reasons. Trying to be better for Bucky made you realize how much you missed him. How angry you really were at him. But you couldn’t take it out on him, he didn’t deserve that at all, he didn’t earn that. But you were angry at...something, and maybe it was yourself, at letting him walk out that door, of not calling him and leaving him messages. Maybe if you had fought for him he would’ve stayed. If you had said something when he distanced himself.

You felt like this was your fault. And maybe if you changed something about yourself, you would learn from your mistakes.

Not that you knew exactly what you had done or what isolating yourself would fix, or teach you for that matter.

At some point, you must have fallen asleep because your ringtone jolted you awake. You groaned, shutting your eyes again. You would let it go to voicemail, just like all of the others. If it was that important they would text you.

You let it ring, sighing when it had stopped. You readjusted in your bed, trying to fall back asleep. It was a Saturday morning, you had until Monday morning to sleep. You were going to make the most of it.

But then your phone began ringing again.

You opened your eyes again, picking up your phone to see who it was. You dropped the phone when you saw the name

Bucky Barnes

Why the fuck was he calling you? What could he possibly have to say to you?

You watched the phone ring through to voicemail, soon after seeing a voicemail was left. You didn’t bother listening to it, you didn’t need to. You simply rolled over in bed. If it were that important, he would have called sooner.

Bucky’s POV

As the call went to voicemail again, Bucky was confused. He had never known you to miss a call, ever. It wasn’t like you, he knew you would drop anything to take calls. You had said you hated people leaving voicemails because you hated them having to listen to your voicemail message. You had thought your voice had sounded weird. It was one of the little things he remembered about you that made him smile

And realize how royally he had fucked up.

Being away on a mission wasn’t anything new for him, but maintaining a serious relationship for him was. He had never met anyone like you, and he had missed you so much when he had left. He hadn’t felt anything like what he did when you smiled at him since the 40′s. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but all he could think about was how much he had missed you. And that made him think about how much you must have missed him.

He felt like he was holding you back in some way. He was used to being away in dangerous situations for periods of time but you weren’t. And no matter how much you had assured him that you were okay with the long-distance relationship, as the months went on he felt guilty for not being able to be there in the way that he wanted to.

In the way you deserved.

He broke up with you because he thought you deserved better than relying on phone calls and texts for months at a time. Someone who could be there all the time for you. Someone who you didn’t have to worry about getting shot when he left for a mission. Someone predictable and reliable. Something he couldn’t always do.

But God, did he miss you.

He regretted walking out that door. He regretted not giving you a better reason, for not calling you or texting you until now, weeks later. The more time went on, the more he felt it would be inappropriate to call you to apologize.

But he couldn’t take it anymore, so he dialed your number. And when it went to voicemail, he had gotten a little worried.

He knew he didn’t have much of a right or reason to be worried, but he had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. So, he decided to reach out to one of your friends.

Hey, is y/n alright?

Why do you want to know?

Look, I know I messed up. I just wanted to apologize and give her the answer she deserves. But she’s not answering my calls.

She doesn’t do phone calls anymore.

What do you mean?

She won’t answer calls. She won’t even come out with us anymore. Something’s up but she denies it.

When did this start?

When do you think?

Bucky’s heart sank to his stomach. This was his fault. And he had to go make it right.

Your POV

You were still in bed, wondering why Bucky had called you. It didn’t make sense to you, for him to call after all of this time. What could he possibly have to say to you? Did he want to inform you of a new girlfriend before the news caught wind of it? Did he want to come up with some dumb excuse to tell you he was sorry?

It made you scoff slightly, but the tug at your heart let you know that it wouldn’t be unwelcome.

You couldn’t deny it. As much as his leaving had hurt you, you missed him more than anything.

You wanted another chance with him, one that you weren’t sure you would get. And the thought of him coming back to you was comforting. Like maybe it wasn’t your fault. Or maybe you had done enough to win him back.

Wishful thinking.

You had lost track of time, once again, but were snapped out of your daze by knocking on your door.

What? Why would anyone be here?

You sighed. It was probably just some random person selling some random product or something.

More knocking. More insistent. You sighed, standing up and silently groaning at the soreness you felt in your body. Not necessarily from overuse, but more so from underuse. You stood you slowly, walking quietly over to your door.

More knocking.

You made it to the door and glanced through the peephole you had, eyes widening and a small gasp leaving your mouth.

Why the fuck was Bucky here?

More knocking.

You ran a hand down your face. Knowing him, he wouldn’t leave. But why did it go from calling straight to ‘I’m coming to your door’? As if he hadn’t been the one to leave you?

More knocking.

You swallowed dryly. “Why are you here?” you called out through the door.

Bucky let out a breath. “I just want to talk to you”

You shook your head on the other side of the door, wondering if you should let him speak. As if he wasn’t already living rent-free in your mind.

“Please y/n.”

You set your face hard, pulling the door open. At least you would get to say your piece to him.

“Now you wanna talk? Fine. Let’s talk.” you said, coldly.

Bucky was slightly taken aback, though he couldn’t blame you. He took in your appearance, exhaustion seeming to overtake you. Dark circles under your eyes, pale skin, you just - all life seemed to be drained from you. He scratched the back of his neck nervously before he asked quietly, “Can I come in?”

You stepped to the side, silently allowing him in, closing the door behind you. You crossed your arms over your chest and shrugged slightly. “What do you want Barnes?

“I’m sorry,” he said. You scoffed slightly, shaking your head and looking away. “Y/n look at me, please. I fucked up.”

“Well it took you long enough to figure that one out didn’t it?” you snapped, looking at him.

“Y/n please -”

“Tell me, when exactly did you figure out that maybe, just maybe, you should say you were sorry?”

“Y/n please - “

“Who was the girl? The one in the bar from a few days after we had broken up? The one you were hitting on over a couple of drinks?”

“The… what?”

“When did you feel the slightest bit of regret? When did you change your mind and decide that you didn’t want to leave?”

“I never wanted to leave you!” he exclaimed. “Can you please just listen to me?”

You looked at him, anger in your eyes but you closed your mouth. You gave him a look that said ‘I’m listening.’

He took a deep breath. “The woman at the bar was an old friend of Sam’s. He had introduced the two of us at one point. I was at a bar one night and and she came over to say hello and stayed for one drink. It’s nothing more than that.”

You took a breath. Situations could definitely be read wrong. You knew it had probably been nothing.

“When we first got together we had talked about me leaving for missions. Long-distance, unpredictable times, dangerous missions. A lot of people have a hard time keeping that going.”

“And I knew that and was okay with it.”

“Let me finish, please.” he pleaded. “I knew you knew the risks but I’m not sure I was as ready as I thought I was. I left and suddenly I couldn’t talk to you because I was worried for your safety. I couldn’t be there for you in all the ways I wanted to be. In all the ways you deserved. I just...you didn’t deserve that. You deserved so much more than that.”

You felt tears prick your eyes. “You already told me that. When you left. What’s really going on?”

He shook his head slightly. “ Sam’s sister had gotten a call with a threat towards her and her children. I couldn’t put you at risk. These people, they were super soldiers just like me. I had a few close calls with serious injuries. And I realized that if I got hurt I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t let you get hurt and I couldn’t let you worry about whether or not I would come home alive. I thought… I thought it’d be less painful for both of us if we stopped seeing each other before that happened.”

You shook your head slightly. “Why couldn’t you tell me that?” you said, a little more softly.

“I don’t know”

You shook your head. “You’re gonna have to do a lot better than I don’t know.”

“I - “ He sighed slightly. “I was scared. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I was scared that I was going to lose you.”

“So you gave me up?” you asked.

“And made the biggest mistake of my entire life.”

You looked to the side and bit your lip slightly. “You know I thought it was my fault?” you turned your face back to Bucky’s confused one. “I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. That if I was enough you wouldn’t have left. Or if I was better you would’ve come back.”

He shook his head and started walking towards you to comfort you. “It was never your fault angel -”

You backed up slightly. “You don’t get to call me that. Not right now, not yet at least.”

He looked hurt slightly, but he nodded. After a few moments of silence, you scoffed slightly.

“You know, as much as I hate to admit it, I fell apart these past few weeks. Told myself that the only thing I wanted and needed was having you come back. And here you are and...I don’t know, Bucky.” you shrugged. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or think, you broke up with me because you were afraid of hurting me? I - “ you rubbed your eyes. “I just… I get it, but I just wish we could’ve had this conversation weeks ago, Buck.”

“Does this mean we’re done?” he asked timidly.

“I… I don’t know. I just…. I think i need a little bit of time. Please. Just some time to think.”

He nodded, though he looked slightly disappointed. “Yeah, of course.” you nodded, walking him over to the door, opening it. He turned around. “Is it okay to give you a hug, y/n?”

You thought about it for a moment before nodding, letting him wrap his arms around your waist as you looped them around his neck. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, tears forming in your eyes as you realized how much you missed this. How much you needed this. When he went to pull away, you held him a little more tightly before letting him go.

He smiled at you before turning to leave. “Take as much time as you need, y/n.”

You gave him the smallest of smiles back. “I’ll see you later Bucky.”

And with that, you closed the door behind you, not having a clue what any of this meant. This didn’t make it okay by any means, but maybe, just maybe, the two of you could start fresh. Together.

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Fic: What Spring Does To The Cherry Trees, Chapter 9

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Narcos

Ship: Javier Peña/OFC (Eva)

Words: 6,192

Tags/warnings (whole thing): slow burn, h/c, a bit of violence (nothing as bad as canon), guns, knife injury, pain and suffering, the loss of a parent (both actually), angst, ptsd, javi being a lil prick but also soft!, (safe) piv sex, masturbation (female AND male), fingering, unprotected piv sex (in the words of the Spice Girls: be a little bit wiser baby, put it on, put it on), pregnancy risk, death of an animal, talk of cancer, so much internal conflict, insomnia, killing coyotes, snake bite, oh my god just get over yourselves already, some eye fucking if you squint, yearningggggggg, descriptions of food, jealousy, oh NOW he has a condom good boy javi, cunnilingus, panic attack, trauma, sexual trauma, trust issues.

Summary for the whole thing: Javier Peña has resigned from the DEA and is back at his dad’s ranch in Texas. Life is slow and uneventful, until an unfamiliar face shows up at the local watering hole one night. Eva is retired from the army and lives in her old pickup truck with more than one ghost. She’s looking for ranch work and when her path crosses Javier’s, maybe they can help each other along in their lives?

Chapter summary: Eva and Javi finally give in to their desires, but is that the end of their issues? I think not.

Please note that there is a description of a panic attack, and implied (sexual) trauma in this chapter.

A/N: Sorry I kept teasing you about having finished the chapter and then making you wait because my beta had Life happen! But here it is, the chapter you have been longing for! A special thank you to @flora-screeches who read, commented, and discussed some of the issues I had with this chapter. A big mwah to you &lt;3

The rain sounds a heavy yet welcome rumble on the roof that drowns out every other sound but two quickening breaths. There’s only a side table lamp on in Javi’s room, and it renders a warm, glowing light over golden skin. The walls are permeated with the smell of countless bygone cigarettes: a stark contrast to the amorous ambience.

Javi’s a greedy kisser, Eva already knew as much from their earlier tryst, but he’s not sloppy. He sucks her lower lip between his lips, lets it meet his tongue before releasing it and covering her mouth. He takes everything, but gives as good as he gets.

Eva gathers herself from the sudden assault and slides her hands to his shoulders, then continues up his neck to the sides of his head. She spreads her fingers in his thick hair as she kisses him back, taking control of his lips as well as her own, tasting that incredibly full lower lip and humming a little at the scrape of his mustache against her skin. She wonders what it feels like to have him rub his whiskers all over the soft inside of her thighs, then her pussy. The thought makes the insides of her thighs tingle, and a titillating heaviness settles deep in her belly. She yields to Javier’s tongue, letting it slip inside her mouth to meet first her teeth, then her own tongue.

He covers her breasts with his hands, squeezing lightly and brushing his thumbs over the hardening nipples. She hums again, electric sparks running up and down her spine, lighting up her body, deepening the urge in her core. Releasing his head, she runs her hands down to his narrow hips and brings him in, moving her pelvis against his.

Wincing, Javi breaks the kiss and hisses, his hand moving to his right hip and removing her hand.

“That where you hurt yourself?” she asks breathlessly. He nods shortly, and Eva strokes her fingers gently over his lips, brushes the pad of her thumb over his mustache.

“Sorry.”

“I’m okay.”

When he speaks, she slips her thumb into his mouth. His dark eyes widen slightly before he closes his lips around her digit, and sucks. Mesmerized, Eva stares at his full lips, her own parting to let out a low moan at how her thumb seems to be wired directly to her pussy. The suction makes her vibrate between her legs, the wetness flow, her clit throb. She pulls her thumb out of his mouth and crashes against him in a desperate kiss. Her hand drops to the front of his boxers, cupping him through the fabric, rubbing his hardening length. Javi’s breathing turns more and more shallow the harder his cock grows, and with renewed energy, he pushes her up against the door. The wood releases a low creak, and Eva grows stiff and unresponsive.

“Chucho,” she whispers. Javi cups her cheek, molten, dark eyes staring into hers.

“He’s a sound sleeper,” he promises in a husky voice that vibrates along her spine. “Relax.”

That voice could get a herd of spooked cows to relax. Eva nods, so Javi drops his mouth to her neck and starts to kiss his way down her chest. Her muscles soften a little more with each kiss, a deep sigh escaping her lips as she gives in to the sensations. Slowly, he pulls down first the straps of her top, then the rest of the garment, freeing up her breasts. His tongue swirls stiffly around her nipple, followed by his lips, then teeth.

The bite is a little sharper than expected but Eva doesn’t mind. She needs to feelthis, all of it, as intensely as is humanly possible. She has to feel all of him. She has to feel him –

Needy whimpers crawl over her lips and drip down her chin, reaching Javi who comes up to kiss her again. She grabs his wrist and directs his hand to her mound.

“Need you here.” Her voice is low and heated against his cheek, and Javi’s breath hitches as he curves his big fingers to fit along the damp fabric of her panties.

“Here?” he teases her in a rumbled whisper that makes her clench. He feels the flex of her pussy, and the yellow light glints like gold on his teeth when he bares them in a grin.

“Yes,” she breathes, and Javi falls to his knees so fast she almost thinks his legs just gave way under him. Her arms fly out to the sides and grab the doorposts when he pulls down her panties and presses his face to the apex of her thighs. The mustache provides a delicious scratch to her swollen clit when he slides his tongue as far inside her slick as he can, before dragging it along her folds to the spot where every nerve in the universe connects in sparks. He administers a teasing swirl that makes the hard muscles of Eva’s thighs tremble. His chapped hands, the hands of a desk worker who only recently has learned to grip reins, ropes, endless shovels of grain, caress around her thighs, cup her buttocks. He brings her closer, licking into her with more purpose, and Eva tips her head back with a low moan that ends in a surprised gasp when Javi angles one end of the long stretch of his shoulders between her legs, hooking her right leg up on it, securing it with his left arm. Eva resists against the door-frame, hands gripping the old wood, precariously balancing on one leg but trusting Javi to keep her upright. Javi, who is working her clit with a singular mind now, Javi, who is digging his blunt fingertips into the softest part of her thigh and buttock, Javi, who growls against her sex, a primal roll of his baritone that rocks Eva’s insides.

“Javi,” she begs without knowing what it is she means, “Javi, oh shit, Javi.”

Her breathless begging spurs him to double his efforts and her fingers scratch at the doorpost, searching in vain for a grip as her one supporting leg starts to tremble. She moans out a curse, then presses her lips together, still worried her voice will carry through the rain, the walls, down the hallway, into Chucho’s dreams.

She breathes in quick little huffs punctuated by low whimpers as everything seems to concentrate around that one little pulsating spot that Javi is now attacking with a ferocity that Eva somehow knew to expect from him, but still is blown away by. One hand releases the door-frame and finds his thick hair. Her palm fits itself to the top of his head, fingers reaching back to bring him in, closer, his mustache a welcome burn against the sensitive tissues that seem to gather and gather…

She hadn’t expected him to be this… giving. He always came across as the kind of person who took what he wanted with little or no regard for the consequences. Just look at that fiasco on that day by the truck. Sure, he gave her an orgasm, but not once did he ask her what she wanted, not once did he seem to think about protection.

Then again, neither did she. But she was in shock. Why didn’t he notice that? He’s not without emotions, he has shown her that over and again this summer. He has a nurturing side, he is giving, he is…

She hopes he has rubbers now. Hers are in her bag in the room across the hallway. Not a long walk, but if she’s forced to stop this to go fetch them, she might start to overthink. And she doesn’t want to overthink, she wants to do. She wants him, she wants Javier, just like this, here, now, with him coating her insides in pleasure with his tongue, his lips, his nose, just like this…

Why has he stopped?

Frowning, Eva stares down at Javi, who is licking his lips and looking up at her.

“You okay?” he asks her in a low voice.

“Yes, why are you stopping?” Her counterquestion comes out in a bark to mask her fear that he’s going to back out.

“Because you went quiet, and I can feel how tense you are.”

Carefully, he lets her leg down, and rises, towering above her by a couple of inches. His dark eyes, soft in the half-light, are searching her face for signs of discomfort. Eva blinks, his care an unexpected treat that almost makes her uneasy, and clears her throat before speaking.

“I’m fine. I don’t want to stop.”

“Was I doing something wrong?” he breathes, fingers brushing over the apex of her thighs. “Tell me how you want it.”

“I liked what you were doing. I just… I got lost in my head.”

Javi slides a teasing finger between her folds, a little smile playing on his lips when her breath hitches.

“You want to stay there?” He leans against her, and she can smell herself on his mouth when his lips brush over her cheek on their way to her ear. “Or do you want to join me here in the real world where this –“ he slips his finger inside her “– is happening?”

Eva shivers at the low rumble of his voice, his thick finger inside her. Her hips move against him as if by themselves, and her hands are pressed against the sides of the door again.

“Please,” she whispers, “tell me you have rubbers now.”

Javi’s eyebrows draw together slightly, and his lips form that pensive thought she has seen on him countless times over the summer. A moment later, his features relax into a sincerity that strips a decade from him.

“I have rubbers,” he promises her and with that, Eva lets go of the doorpost and wraps her arms around his neck, kissing his soaked lips with abandon. Javi pushes her against the door again, the low thud not bothering her this time.

“Please,” she moans into his mouth, “go down on me again, Javi.”

This time, her mind doesn’t wander, but instead goes completely blank with pleasure as Javi once again kneels and buries his face in her pussy.

“There,” she gasps when he finds the right angle, the right speed, to make her legs quiver. “There, right there, Javi, please.”

She fists her hand in his hair again and dares to grind on his face, seeking more stimulation, more sensation, more, always more, chasing that high that is closing in, faster and faster, with each swirl of Javi’s tongue. When the orgasm finally washes over her, she doubles up, supporting herself on Javi’s broad shoulders, her legs trembling, choked moans bubbling out of her. Javi is still softly licking her, drawing out the pleasure as it throbs between her legs and butterflies through her muscles and organs, flexing and releasing in a seemingly endless rhythm. When she finally can’t take anymore and pushes him away, he looks up at her with heavy-lidded eyes and mussed-up hair falling down his forehead. His mouth and chin are obscenely glistening with her juices, but all the more scandalous is the look in his eyes: equal parts arousal and satisfaction at a job well done, but also… a deep, profound thirst for reassurance that he did, in fact, do well.

Talking is not Eva’s forte, talking in bed even less so. But as she slowly finds her tongue, and her brain starts to scramble thoughts together, the synapses working enough to send words to her mouth, she makes an attempt.

“Good,” she not quite so eloquently blurts out. “That was good.”

With a small grunt and the crack of a joint, Javi stands up, crowding Eva against the door. He caresses a strand of hair away from her face, fastening it behind her ear, before dipping down to brush his lips against hers. The gesture is tender and unhurried, sparking a sense of panic in her, yet still bringing her a kind of peace she has not felt in more years than she cares to count.

She tastes herself on him, flowery yet heavy, musky yet sweet, slick for him to slide in, soon, the sooner the better.

“Javi,” she begs, the hardness of him pressing against her driving her insane, “I need you. Get a rubber.”

The kiss he gives her is searing and leaves her drunk on him, on the nicotine hiding deep in his mouth behind his pussy-soaked lips, his big hands with their rough calluses, so unlike the smoothed down ones that years of physical labor have permanently etched onto her own. Her rough hands are now slightly trembling as she discards her top on the floor when Javi leaves her for a few seconds.

He returns to her with a condom from the drawer of the bedside table, and Eva hooks her thumbs under the waistband of his shorts before slowly pulling them down, crouching as she does it. His cock bounces free, just inches away from her face, and bobs when Javi steps out of the shorts.

He has a beautiful cock. It looks right on him. Tall and broad, narrowing at the tip. Heavy balls punctuating the broad base. Good and thick.

“You’re making me nervous, staring at it like that.”

Eva grins broadly as she looks up, finding Javi fumbling with the condom wrapper.

“You’re fine,” she teases him. “Promise.”

To emphasize her point, she flicks her tongue out at the tip of his cock, while her hand cups his balls for a light squeeze. Javi grunts above her, but when she tries to take him into her mouth to taste the drops of precum glistening on him, he guides her back. She looks up at him, surprised, to find him with his eyes closed.

“Javi?”

“Not like that.”

So he has secrets, just the same as her. That is allowed, Eva decides, and instead watches him put on the condom. To her, it is an act important to witness. When the rubber is on, she looks up again and raises her hands. Javi takes them, and pulls her up, once again claiming her lips in a kiss. Eva raises one leg, Javi catches it around the thigh, and she guides him to her. He pushes inside, both of them holding their breath captive behind bars of teeth, lips touching. Moments pass before they exchange exhalations again, and he angles his hips so that he can move in her. Eva’s arms snake underneath his, elbows bending so that she can reach her hands up to his shoulders behind him, holding on to him as he thrusts her against the door. The wood complains behind her, once again bringing Eva’s thoughts to the older man sleeping further down the hall.

“Fuck,” she grunts against Javi’s lips, “Javi, the noise…”

“I got you.” He surprises her with a lift and carries her to bed with the trembling arms of a man who may not be physically strong enough to carry people around all day long, but knows how to handle a woman. He stays sheathed in her; something she fully expected from Javi, who wants everything and wants it now.

He sits down, Eva straddling his thighs, and as she sinks down on him, she takes him considerably deeper. A stuttered moan escapes her as he splits her open, Javi’s hands immediately on her hips, caressing the soft curve of flesh before traveling up her back, soothing her as he places breathless little kisses along her neck.

“You’re big,” she whispers, her forehead coming to a rest against his. “So big.”

“I get by.”

She chuckles at his cockiness, melting away some of the tension so that their bodies seem to click into each other, like a door locking on a secret room at the turn of a key. She rocks her hips into him, lips separated to allow air in and out in little pants of pleasure, hands sliding over his chest and finding places to hold on to, on his shoulder and back of the neck. Her hips roll slowly, almost meditatively, as they kiss in lazy, open-mouthed licks at each other’s lips. His hands explore her body, paints her skin with his fingers and palms, holds her softly as she moves on him, feels every inch of him stretching her out. She shifts a little, the angle changing and hitting a new string within her. Javi feels it too, his grip tightening on her buttocks when she starts to chase the sensation.

“Fuck, Eva,” he grunts, “I’m gonna cum if you keep that up.”

“I thought that was the point?” Eva’s smirk is quickly washed away when Javi catches a rock-hard nipple in his mouth, and sucks. Her spine arches back as the moans flow out of her.

“Not yet,” he points out. “I want this to last longer.”

“We got all night,” she promises in a whispered gasp. “We got time, Javi.”

He moves with her then, rocks their bodies together until he shudders underneath her, his teeth sinking into her shoulder to keep back a considerably louder expression of his climax. Eva still rides him, desperate to join him in the high, Javi’s encouraging huffs in her ear as she relentlessly maintains his erection for just a little longer, just a little more…

When she finally collapses against his chest, into his open arms, a low guttural sound spilling over her lips, Javi falls back against the sheets, arms around her to keep her from running away again.

///

Their first time, that time out on the pastures, just a few feet away from the spot where Eva had to shoot Chucky, was stiff and awkward. They were not in sync. His grip was too hard. He was irresponsible.

This second time they found each other’s eyes as they tested and tasted each other’s bodies, tried to find a common language in which to convey their preferences. He could feel a budding joy in the physical body, a joy he wants to further explore with her.

Resting in post-coital silence, Javi on his back, Eva on her stomach, he tries to find the right amount of tenderness to show her. She may not be as skittish as a half-wild filly anymore, but he knows that one wrong move with her is going to make her rise out of bed, and leave.

He wonders if their third time will be slow and intimate. Will he be certain that she’s not running away anymore?

Javi stares at the ceiling, one arm angled up, his hand underneath the back of his head on the pillow, the other hand fidgeting on his sternum. Old habit makes him want a cigarette, but he doesn’t really crave the nicotine, just to keep his fingers occupied.

Eva sighs deeply next to him, so he turns his head to look at her, just as her hand reaches out, her fingers ensnaring his.

“You’re driving me nuts with that.” She’s smiling a little, and her voice is light, so Javi returns the smile.

“Sorry.” He raises her hand to his lips, his eyes not leaving hers as he places a gentle kiss on her knuckles. Her eyes are almost amber in the soft light, the golden specks on her irises bleeding over the brown, and there’s a curious little flare in them as he places her hand on his chest.

“You okay?” he asks her.

“Yeah. You?”

Her eyes wander down to his right hip right next to her, and the big purple bruise on it. Javier exhales in an amused little scoff.

“I’ll live. My pride is a lot more bruised.”

“Whatever for?” Her brows knit together. Javi redirects his gaze towards the ceiling.

“Can’t even stay on a horse.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” she tells him flatly. “I’ve seen a vet ride a horse across a plain courtyard and fall off it when it stepped wrong. Anyone can fall off a horse.”

Javi grunts, still not convinced. Then again, he’s been made a fool of constantly since the night he met her. Falling off Pablo was just one embarrassing thing in a long line of many.

“Men!” Eva snorts and pulls her hand out of his as she rolls onto her back. He glances furtively at the attractive roundness of her breasts next to him, their softness such a stark contrast to her muscled frame. There are not many curves on her body, a lot less so than he usually prefers, but suddenly, that doesn’t matter at all. She’s here. He hides a smile at her comment, realizing that he’s being a perfect candidate for that broad category of a disdainfully spat Men! But he can’t help it. He wants to touch her all over, find the soft spots between her hard muscles, play her strings like an instrument, make her sing out a similar craving for him.

And yet, he wants this as well, the rest in comfortable silence.

“You’re staring at me.” Eva’s voice brings him back from his musings, and he turns onto his side, propping his head up in his hand.

“I guess I can’t help it. Men, and all that.”

He can’t be sure in the yellow light, but it looks like she actually blushes a little. The tinge on her cheekbones disappears as fast as he thinks he saw it, though, and she rolls her eyes. Javi can’t hold back a chuckle, and as he lets his eyes wander down to her chest, he lingers on the scar tissue on her left shoulder. He’s seen it before, when she’s worn sleeveless tops, but now he can ask her.

“What happened here?”

Eva’s skin rises in goosebumps to the feathery touch of the tip of Javi's pointer finger on the embossed skin. A slight shiver travels through her body.

“Shrapnel,” she says after a moment of stillness. “My first tour.”

“Damn.”

Eva lifts her hand up to her shoulder to feel the bumpy keepsakes embossed in her skin.

“I was lucky, nothing went deep enough to cause any permanent damage. But it hurt like hell. And it’s still a little stiff, especially when it rains, like now.”

“I bet.” Javi dips his head to softly kiss the scars, then drags his lips up her shoulder to her neck. “But it doesn’t hurt anymore?”

“No.” A short pause as she exhales in a soft sigh at his ministrations. “I've been shot twice, actually.”

“Where...?” he murmurs against her neck before snagging a bit of skin between his teeth, making her hum. She seems to deliberate, a little frown appearing on her forehead. The wait makes Javi pull back and inspect her face.

“Eva?”

“Here.” She lifts her hand to her right temple, fingers twisting into her dark hair. “It’s too dark to see, but there’s a tiny scar here. Headshot. The helmet saved me but a piece of shrapnel tore up a wound. They just patched it up in the field and that was that.”

Javier's fingers are plaited with hers as he gently caresses her temple, searching for some sort of telltale embossment in her scalp, not finding it. If he only moments ago wanted cigarettes, he’s now itching to protect her. Take care of her, like he cared for others.

Like he failed to care for others. He clears his throat.

“You were lucky.”

“Lived to fight another day.”

“I’d rather use that extra day for something else...” Javi dips his head again to her shoulder before slowly kissing his way down to her breast, relishing in the sighs and hums he can coax from her.

When he rolls over onto her and chases her lips for a kiss, she stiffens. He sees panic in her eyes for a second before she almost gently pushes him off, and sits up.

“I prefer being on top,” she tells him, eyes cast down in a way that tells him there’s a lot more to this than she’s letting him know. Javi wonders for a moment if he should press the matter, but then he remembers how he recoiled from her mouth on his cock. She didn’t ask him why, for which he’s grateful. How can he ever tell her that for a second, all the countless dark-haired women giving him cheap head flashed before his eyes? How can he explain to Eva that he doesn’t want her to be one of them?

Not that she is. She can never be, she’s different from those women. But that shame is still rotting away at his soul, and he can’t deal with it right now.

He settles on his back again, finding her hand.

“Come here, then.” To his joy, Eva complies, straddling him easily, as if there never was an issue of positions. She settles carefully on him, mindful of his bruised hip, and he feels the light pressure of her ass cheeks on his soft cock.

“This better?” he asks her, heart jolting at the sight of her satisfied little smile.

“Much.” She leans over him, her hair curtaining their faces as she kisses him. He fists his hands into it, resisting to urge to tug. He must be careful with her.

“Is that how you like it?” she whispers, her voice sugary sweet despite the spicy kiss. “Rough? Hard?”

“I can do without.”

“I don’t mind.” Eva sits up and pulls Javi up with her, an excited little smile playing in the corner of her mouth. “I don’t mind it rough, Javi.”

He swallows, his mouth is dry like he was fourteen years old at a disco again, and the most developed girl in his class guided his hand underneath her top to feel the obscene swell of her tits. His cock twitches back to life under Eva and she throws him that smirk that he’s been longing for all summer. The one that is meant for his eyes only.

“Ride a cowboy, huh?” She clearly remembers their first encounter. If you're gonna give me that save a horse, ride a cowboy bullshit...

“That was my plan all along,” he admits.

“No shit.”

She kisses up his pulse, teasing his cock hard as his fingers find back to that slick heat to warm her up. On her breathless request, he takes her from behind, the condom securely on before he starts to thrust into her. From behind has long been his favorite way of fucking a woman, but he only now realizes that it’s because of the anonymity it provides. It means he doesn’t have to see the interchangeable faces of whoever it is he’s fucking this time. He doesn’t have to see their fake smile, their tired eyes.

Eva has none of that. Eva has a sincere smile, taunting though it may be, and a face he’s been thinking about since he first saw her that night in March.

This is wrong. This is not how he wanted it. He wanted to be face to face, watch her when he moved in her slick tightness, seating every inch of him deep inside her, feeling her warm walls through the rubber.

As Javi slows down, Eva’s moans ebb out, and she starts to move against him, greedily wanting more.

“Don’t stop, Javi, please, don’t stop!” Her voice is desperate, wanton.

Fuck.

He pulls her up and sits back on his heels, knees out, and settles her against him, where he can still fuck her while also wrap his arms around her, one hand cupping a breast, the other reaching down between her legs. The sound she makes when he starts to rub her clit drives him crazy.

“Look at me,” he grunts into her ear before biting the lobe. “Fucking look at me, Eva.”

She turns her face to him, eyes half closed in ecstasy, and tries to focus on his face. Javi covers her mouth with his, drinks her breaths and swallows her moans, grunts when she pulls at his hair. The bed sighs and grumbles underneath them but she seems to no longer worry about that as her slipping grasp of his hip – the uninjured one – becomes more desperate. Her frenzy matches his and he has to focus so he doesn’t blow before her. She feels so good, her skin is so hot, her body so strong, her enjoyment of his body so pure.

“Fuck, Javi, there, right there, I’m so close,” she whines, and he applies a little more pressure of his hand, goes a little faster despite his wrist being close to cramping up. He can’t stop staring at her face: the raw lust on it makes him feel invincible.

He cums as soon as she starts to shake, her pussy squeezing him so hard he can’t hold back. He covers her mouth and stifles his own groans against the taut muscles of her neck, then curses when she bites down on his finger. A biter, just like him. Go figure.

He has been unaware of the rumble of rain for a while, the only sounds in his world having been Eva’s voice and the slapping of skin against skin. Now when he hits the sheets, Eva next to him, it seems like the roof is going to cave in, and he sends up a silent prayer of thanks to the weather gods for providing cover for them.

She shifts next to him, and slowly sits up. When she moves towards the edge of the bed, Javi raises his head.

“Where are you going?” he wants to know. She glances over her shoulder.

“Back to my room.”

“Eva…”

“I don’t sleep well with other people. It’s nothing personal.”

“Please.” He can’t let her run away.

She bites her lower lip thoughtfully, then gives a curt nod.

“Okay, but if I can’t sleep, I’m leaving.” She sounds practical, almost indifferent, but when they’ve settled underneath the covers, she stays on her side, facing him. He traces the plump curve of her lower lip with his finger.

“Took you long enough to get here.”

“Shut up, cowboy.”

She’s asleep within moments.

///

There is pressure on her chest. It's as if her breaths get trapped in her lungs, unable to leave. Darkness. A feeling of hopelessness, like there is no use trying to fight it, to fight anything, to survive. Her chest feels imploded, destroyed. Like she's been shot, torn open, slashed.

With a loud gasp, bordering on a scream, Eva catapults out of her dream and into a sitting position, hands clasping at her chest, trying to get rid of the invisible force pressing down on it, the memory of gloved hands and hot metal stopping the breaths short and triggering her fight or flight response.

“Eva?”

A warm hand closes around her shoulder and the fight response kicks in. She elbows the dark figure next to her in the ribs, hard enough the knock the wind out of them. Her right hand, fueled by the need to protect the body, acts on muscle memory and goes to her right hip - goes for the gun that isn't there. Where's her gun, why isn't it here? She palms desperately around her in the dark, finding nothing but naked limbs and sheets. Where is she?

She hears muffled groans next to her, and a light turns on at the other side of the bed. Bed. She's in a bed. And the dark figure next to her is Javier, arm curled around his side, bent almost double, hissing through his teeth with the pain.

“What the fuck?” He looks at her, reaches his hand towards her, but Eva recoils from him.

“Don't. Touch. Me.” The words are choked but her tone means business. Javi retreats immediately, sheets rustling and settling around his waist as he sits back, his features painted with confusion and distress. Eva can't look at him, can't even acknowledge his presence at the moment. She needs to get control of this, needs to land in her unharmed body, has to convince her brain that she is not in danger. She’s been through it before. It just hasn’t happened, ever, with anyone in the room with her.

Gradually, her breathing goes back to normal, the pressure in her chest diminishes, and the adrenaline wears off, leaving her body chilled and trembling. And she becomes more and more aware of Javi, staring at her from the other side of the bed.

It is with great effort that she finally manages to look at him. But she doesn’t know what to say. He, however, breaks the silence first.

”What's wrong, Eva?”

She likes the way he pronounces her name: Eh-vuh, like it should be, the Spanish pronunciation, not the Ay-va or Ee-va that English usually distorts it to. She's used to it, but it's nice to hear it being said as it should, like her parents used to say it. The last people in the world to care for her. Well, maybe not the absolute last. There was someone after them.

And there is Javier.

It’s hard to accept. That he really seems to care for her. Harder still is accepting that she cares for him. Why else would she have run in front of three panicked Texas longhorns to save him?

The rain is still beating a steady tattoo on the roof, drowning out every other sound in the world except for her heartbeat, which is gradually slowing down to normal. She wets her lips, tries to find words.

“Nightmare. It… happens sometimes.”

She tries to smile it away, but her facial muscles can only twist her features into a grimace.

“War, you know.”

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “What can I do for you?”

She shakes her head and gathers the covers around her to put a stop to her shivering.

“Nothing,” she tells him. “It’s been like this since I got shot and declared unfit for duty.”

Javi sighs and rubs his temple, looking down at the sheets. The lamp behind him casts shadows on his face when he raises his gaze, an inquisitive quirk in one eyebrow.

“Where was that?”

She frowns at him. “What?”

“Where did you get shot?”

“My shoulder?” Her hand rises to the scarring on her shoulder. Javi raises his chin a little.

“You said that happened on your first tour, and you got sent back. And that you caught shrapnel in your temple as well but they patched you up in the field. So where did you get shot so badly you had to be discharged?”

There is no aggression in his voice, only the interest of a man who has spent half his life solving puzzles, yet Eva raises her defenses immediately.

“What are you, my biographer?” she spits. “It’s none of your business.”

“They don’t discharge soldiers with flesh wounds caused by shrapnel,” Javi points out, and now there’s a look in his eyes that she has only seen flashes of before.

He looks like a cop. Eva knows the look of suspicion and deliberation from countless other, more hostile, faces, and that makes it even harder to see it on Javi’s.

The sheets rustle when she kicks them to the side and gets out of bed.

“Eva…”

“You don’t have the right to pry into my life,” she tells him blankly as she starts to look for her panties and top.

“I’m just trying to help.”

“You don’t need to do that, either.” Spotting her top on the floor, Eva bends down to pick it up. She’s twisting and turning the garment in the half-light, searching for the right way to put it on.

“Why don’t you just tell me?” Javi’s now rising from the bed as well, relentless in his pursuit of her. He walks up to her and takes the top from her, tossing it to the side.

“For fuck’s sake – “ Eva starts, but Javi shakes his head, and the rest of her scolding dies off.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” he challenges her, his voice perfectly calm.

The worst? Aside from him finding out her worst mistakes, her disgrace, it would be for him to look at her like she’s broken, feeble, weak. It would change everything, and she can’t handle another change. She can’t bear to have another person she has come to trust to look at her like she’s crud. Just another alien, unwanted in the country unless it was for cannon fodder, unwanted in the army because of her sex. A desert fox, good for one thing only: wham bam thank you ma’am, but without the thank you because the bam means a bullet in the head.

And still, she knows that Javi has never wanted any of that for her.

Her teeth are clenched so hard that her jaws are hurting, the ache beginning to seep up to her temples. Crossing her arms, she starts to pace the room, staring down at the floor as if the right words are to be found in the old floorboards. Finally, she stops and looks up at him.

“You got any cigarettes?”