#link the question and research to my experiences during the internship

[malpractice-morale]

not my assignment currently looking like a james somerton script

[aasthakumariyer]

R.Nithya Psychology summer internship (May 18th - July 17th)

This internship revolved around collaborating with a therapist to design comprehensive feedback forms aimed at tracking the progress of her clients. The four distinct forms included: an onboarding form for new clients, an onboarding form for the therapist, a client feedback form, and a session evaluation form. Each form served a specific purpose, catering to the unique needs of the therapist-client dynamic.

1. On-boarding for new clients - This form is for all the new clients joining. In this form, the client will have to fill in all the personal details, and other additional information that the therapist will to understand the client's condition (eg: Family history, mental and health history).

2. On-boarding for the therapist - This form is for the therapist to fill in about the new clients. This is because there are some information that is more appropriate for the therapist to write down rather than the client so that the client doesn't feel uncomfortable or feel discomfort.

3. Client feedback form - This form is usually given at the end of the client's session, so the therapist will ask them to fill in this form to see if there is the clients feel like they have improved over the sessions and if the client have anything that they want the therapist to improve in their approach of treatment. Regular feedback for but filled in by the client

4. Session evaluation form - This form is for the therapist to fill out. This allows the note down the therapist's view of the session and see if there is any change in behavior before the session and after the session. Helps the therapist keep track of the client's progress over the number of sessions.

In the initial phase, the therapist provided me with an overview of the project's scope, leveraging my two years of prior study in psychology to facilitate a deeper understanding of the fundamental psychological aspects. During the first week, I delved into extensive research on global feedback practices within therapy, gaining valuable insights into the pivotal role of feedback in facilitating effective therapeutic outcomes.

Drawing from my research, I advocated for the adoption of Routine Outcome Monitoring (ROM) as a preferred practice for the development of feedback forms. This approach emphasized the significance of consistently monitoring client progress, enabling the therapist to make timely interventions and adaptations as needed. Immersing myself further in understanding the intricacies of ROM through comprehensive case studies, I developed a heightened interest in the workings of therapy sessions and the potential challenges faced by both therapists and clients.

Mindful of the sensitive nature of the information gathered through the feedback forms, I conscientiously crafted a set of strategic questions, prioritizing the emotional well-being and comfort of the clients. This process necessitated several iterations and revisions to ensure the clarity and effectiveness of the forms, culminating in the therapist's commendation for my dedication and meticulous efforts. The journey, albeit challenging and time-consuming, instilled in me the virtues of patience, creativity, and a receptive attitude toward constructive feedback.

The therapist's appreciation of my contributions served as a motivating force, propelling me to strive for excellence and deliver impactful solutions that can significantly enhance the quality of her therapy sessions. This experience reinforced my belief in the transformative power of patience and resilience in navigating complex professional challenges and nurturing a conducive environment for growth and development.

The link of all forms:

[eunoiamaybe]

my “sort-of-complete” online classes and exams tips

This is a longer-than-usual post with tips for the 3 stages of online classes: focusing during an online class session, reviewing/studying for online classes, and preparing for online exams/ quizzes. So I decided to insert the “Read More” link to (a) not take up too much space on your dash, and (b) feel more confident in adding more tips as time goes on.

These are tips that I’ve compiled from my experience of taking online classes during my last 1.5 years at university. But having all of your courses moved online is so much more complicated. Since I’m currently doing an internship, I have tried my best to produce this post based on the comments of my friends IRL and on Tumblr (hence the “my”). However, I hope it can still be useful for you and many who were all abruptly put in this same situation.

So feel free to share your own tips and experience! I will probably go back to this once in a while to make some changes to it and add your tips. Good luck to everyone who is currently/ about to take online classes. You are almost there! 🍀 I believe in every single one of you!

~  Click away for them tips   ~

💻 DURING ONLINE CLASS SESSIONS:

- try to treat online classes the same as an in-person class, especially time-wise (set a specific time for each class and plan your own class schedule. even better, study for your classes at the same time they used to be held. this will create a sense of routine and trigger the brain's normal reactions to your usual class - which is to study)

- don’t be afraid to fix your plan/ schedule (aka don’t force yourself into one if it doesn’t work for you) (trials and errors, my friend. this applies to plans too. there’s no shame in not being able to keep up with the schedule you’ve made. if you’ve tried or if it hurts you mentally or physically, then that schedule is just not the one for you. everybody has their unique strengths and weaknesses. one’s perfect system might not suit another. finding a system that works for you takes time, patience, and courage. but it will be absolutely worth it)

- find a good spot with enough light and stable wifi (if you have multiple options, select the one that would make you most comfortable, most focused, and confident enough to take online tests/quizzes/exams at - create your “exam space” in advance to reduce the anxiety of tests and unfamiliarity)

- study at a desk, if possible (studying at a desk, with good posture, mimics the feeling of being in a classroom or the library. thus, it will create a sense of routine and help you focus better)  

- accommodate yourself (I’m all about making the best out of a bad situation, and this is one way to do it.  accommodate yourself, not just with comfort, but also with actual necessities that you cannot usually get in your usual classroom/library due to whatever reason. stress balls, stim toys, positivity cards, calming music/candles. comforting plushies. chewing gum. as long as it helps you focus better, it's on the table)

- get dressed (this will bring out that sense of structure and routine that you need. put on your normal outfits, uniforms and even perfume. trick your mind into being focused)

- minimize distractions (declutter your study space. put your phone out of reach. turn off notifications. close all other tabs on your browser. select non-distracting music/ sounds. don’t spam or pay attention to spams in your classes’ chatboxes. only bring along items that are absolutely vital to your focus)

- take notes, even if you can record your lessons and/or access the lessons later (it can either be digital notes or handwritten notes on paper - your call. this will force you to focus and prevent you from zoning out/ being distracted)

- be actively engaged in the lecture (if there are technical problems or if you have questions, chatbox away. this is also good practice for people with social anxiety too: the fact that you are in your home and behind the screen can make it easier for you to ask for help)

- if possible, put your teachers/profs on the big screen to create the illusion of being in a lecture (if your study spot has a TV/projector that can connect to your laptop and quality speakers, do it. it's more fun than you'd think. also super stimulating and kicks the boredom out of you too)

- if not, use headphones/ earphones (speakers can create a feeling of distance between the lecture and yourself. combined with unstable internet and/or monotonous voices of some instructors, this may result in your brain classifying your lecture as background noises and zone out. so use headphones or earphones with the appropriate volume for that optimal focus mode)

- give yourself breaks between classes (don't cram all your classes in one morning. but don't procrastinate either. time your breaks. look at something else besides a computer or phone screen while you’re on break too. maybe brew some tea/coffee for your next class or rearrange your notes from the previous one)

💻 REVIEWING FOR ONLINE CLASSES:

- make a schedule/ system - and be ready to change them (this is an elaboration of an earlier tip. your system doesn’t have to work perfectly right away. most of the time, you will have to make some kind of adjustments to it anyway. so take it easy. pay attention to how well you react/ adapt to the new schedule so that you can make necessary changes. and give yourself - especially your mind - some time to adapt to the schedule. don’t rush yourself or put too much pressure on being productive. remember to take care of your well-being too)

- it’s okay to give yourself some off-days (that’s the beauty of not having any physical or even abstract structure that forces you into an inescapable routine. Yes, I know this lack of structure sucks for a lot of us, especially for those who rely on external forces to keep themselves focused. But look on the bright side: now you don’t have to worry about missing classes or losing participation marks when you are unwell physically and mentally anymore)

- textbooks are your friends now (especially when your classes’ live-streams are just chaotic and hard to follow. or when the pre-recorded lectures aren’t loading properly and keeps lagging. practice speed reading. look for keywords and crucial information. take notes rather than highlighting everything. compare them to your lecture notes, your syllabus, or your friends’)

- take advantage of the online format’s availability + other resources (availability is here, baby! revisit lecture videos and podcasts as many times as you need to. check your email classes’ forums regularly for questions or announcements. re-listen to your lecture when you're cleaning or exercising. watch videos of Khan Academy or CrashCourse. look for online tutors. study at your own pace and in your own style. basically anything you wish you could do when your class was in-person)

- there’s no need to submit assignments early if it’s anxiety-inducing. but make a schedule/ tracking system/ set alarms to avoid forgetting to turn them in (take your time to double-check or edit your work - as long as the submission box is still open, of course. set aside about an hour or two before the deadline for submission to avoid any technical difficulties. and remember to start working on them early so that you don’t have to shorten that window of time and have more time for double-checking)

- don't be afraid to email the profs/teachers (if possible, compile your questions into a list. be as specific as you can about your concerns. put a subject for your email to reduces the chance of your email getting lost in your instructors' inbox.)

- reward yourself (don't stress yourself out by rewarding big accomplishments. reward small victories. reward baby steps. reward effort. you'll get things done eventually)

- take time to know your learning style (when are you most focused? do you like taking digital notes or do you prefer pen and paper? are you a visual or an auditory learner? do you like moving around while studying? what drinks or scents or sounds keep you going? you don't have to stick to your usual study methods or an online/paperless one now that you are studying in your own room)

- listen to your mind and body (it’s okay to feel a bit lost) (from my own experience, times that are without structure like nowadays is when most of us fall into this spiraling downfall of unhealthy sleep schedules, lethargy, and loss of purpose. so please take care of your mental and physical well-being during this very, very weird time. keep yourself active. re-ignite old interests/ hobbies. connect with people you love. give yourself some love)

- and more tips on productivity at home in my last post right here

💻 PREPARING FOR ONLINE EXAMS / QUIZZES:

- make a list of all the online exams and final assignment due dates (this will help you keep track of and stay on top of them due dates. from that list, trace backward to make a review or study plan to prepare for the tests and work on the assignments. if there are any time conflicts, especially for those who are now living in a different timezone from their schools or colleges, email the instructors to seek solutions or alternative options)

- again, find a good spot with good wifi, good lighting, and a desk (if possible, try to recreate your ideal exam environment as closely as you can while studying and reviewing for the exams. this can reduce the anxiety of tests and/or unfamiliarity)

- be prepared for technical difficulties (especially mentally, so that you don’t plan out a course of action to take if they ever arise. draft an email template. research in advance the contacts of people whom you can report to - IT personnel, your instructors, student office, etc.)

- bring everything you need to the exams - but no distractions (like mentioned earlier, if you need any special accommodations that are considered "unacceptable" in an in-person exam/quiz, now it's the time to bring them along - you’re in charge of your test space now, so make it as comfortable and accomodating as you want)

- plan your desk set-up prior to your exams (so many extra items. still so little desk space. therefore, plan ahead so your desk does not turn into a mess when you take your exams. plan where you want to put your notes, textbooks, calculators or scrap paper. think about how much use you’re gonna get out of each item and place them within or slightly-out-of reach accordingly. charge your laptop. sharpen your pencils. have your backup stationery handy. lay out everything you need onto your desk the night before your tests. this can create a feeling of preparedness and thus, reduce anxiety as well)

- make cheatsheets (the goals when making them are simple: (1) get you to rewrite your notes for that good memorization; (2) condense your information and find a connection between them for a thorough understanding of the materials; (3) reduce the time you use to flip through your notebooks or textbooks or google for information during the actual tests)

- time yourself with mock exams (if you are given mock exams to practice with, do them, with a timer. this will help you familiarize yourself with the stress of being timed, thus reducing your anxiety during the actual tests)

- get enough sleep and eat properly (even if the exams or quizzes are online, they are still, at their core, tests. and tests are always stressful and energy-consuming. so take care of both your physical and mental health, especially during the week leading up to your exams)

[thedumpsterqueen]

Standards of Performance, Chapter 2: Fuck-ups and Textbooks

... I know I said I’d update weekly, but here we are. From now on I’ll post every Friday, if not more often. Than you for such a positive response to Chapter 1, it warms my heart! Enjoy :)

Chapter 1

AO3 Link

Summary:  You’re the BAU’s newest intern, desperate to prove yourself amongst an established team of much more experienced profilers. Agent Hotchner, the seemingly infallible team leader, sets strict expectations for your performance. He commands your respect without even trying, but is there something more to your relationship than a simple desire to impress your stony-faced boss?

Chapter: 2, Fuck-ups and Textbooks

Chapter Summary:  You narrow in on the pool of suspects while desperately trying to convince yourself that dream psychology is a pseudoscience.

Words: 2225

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Pairings: Hotch x Reader, Hotch x You

A man stood above you, backlit, so you couldn’t see his face. You were laid supine, staring up at him - vulnerable, but unafraid. He spoke to you, but his voice and words were indistinct, muffled, as if you were underwater.

He knelt over you, placing one hand to the side of your head. It was silent, still, unmoving except for the dim lights shifting behind him. You felt your breath quicken as the figure shifted almost imperceptibly closer. His tie fell forward, dangling over your chest. It was a beautiful cerulean blue, silky and expensive looking. You reached up to touch it, and the man caught your wrist in a firm grip.

“No,” he said, his words clearer but his voice still indistinct. Low, deep, familiar… but you couldn’t place it.

He released your hand and moved his to your waist, lightly caressing, stroking downward until he caught your hipbone. Your pulse quickened and you gasped and arched upward into his touch, feeling his fingers dig in tighter in response.

“I thought so,” he murmured, swinging one leg over to cage your body with his. The hand that wasn’t gripping your hip wove into your hair and came to rest at the base of your skull, pulling your head up as he leaned down to catch your mouth with his…

Your phone alarm blared, waking you with a start. The dream slipped away, leaving you alone in your hotel bed, a noticeable wetness between your legs.

“God fucking damn it; I can’t have anything,” you muttered, throwing off your blanket and hopping into the shower. You hadn’t dreamed about sex in a while, hadn’t thought about sex in a while, too preoccupied with proving yourself at work. The dream left a longing in its wake, one that would unfortunately have to be addressed at a later time, because you stayed in the shower far too long and needed to meet Hotch and Morgan downstairs.

____________

You bustled into the lobby, clutching your case files and coffee. The others stood by the front entrance, facing away, seemingly discussing something amongst themselves. Hotch turned at the sound of your heels clicking towards them. You smiled, nodding your head in greeting, and-

Oh my god.

You froze in your tracks, face feeling suddenly numb. You registered Hotch frowning in confusion, but you couldn’t say anything to reassure him, not yet.

His tie.

It was the same one, the one that draped over your bare chest in the dream last night, the one attached to the man who you’d been thinking about all morning despite never seeing his face. The same one that hung loosely around Hotch’s neck last night on the balcony, the one that made you feel so voyeuristic that you couldn’t make conversation with him knowing its unknotting exposed his throat, making him appear stripped bare in comparison to the tailored suits he practically lived in.

“You alright, kiddo?” Morgan asked. “I mean, I know I’m a stop-you-in-your-tracks kinda guy, but I woulda thought you’d be used to that by now, huh?”

Morgan’s lighthearted cockiness gave you the boost you needed to shake your head and keep walking forward. “Sorry, thought I forgot my phone. I’m good. Let’s go, what’s the plan?”

Hotch seemingly accepted your answer, but kept his eyes on you as you got into the car. “Local police have rounded up friends and family of the California victim at the station. I’d like you to take the lead on interviews today. Morgan and I will be available should you have any questions, but we’re going to search our victim’s apartment first. Is that alright?”

It wasn’t actually a question, of course, but you gave verbal confirmation just the same. After the incident last week, you wanted a chance to prove yourself in an interview setting with a slightly less hostile subject.

They dropped you off at the station with instructions to compare notes with Prentiss, JJ, Reid, and Rossi after each interview. After setting up the room and conducting a tearful conversation with the victim’s mother, your first interview of the day, a conference call with the others in Arizona and Nevada revealed that the team had missed something big in the initial review of victims: they had all attended the same small, liberal arts college in San Diego.

“So, uh, who wants to tell Hotch?” asked Emily over the phone. Silence on the line, but you could tell what the others were thinking - no one wanted to be the one to deliver the news that you had overlooked such a clear commonality in the victim profiles - one that could have led you to an obvious suspect pool hours ago.

“The most fair way to decide this would be a random selection tool, here, I can pull one up on my phone,” replied Reid, accompanied by tapping sounds as he typed something in.

“No, she can do it, she’s with Hotch already,” said Rossi. “Let’s not waste time on this. Let us know what he says.” The others murmured their sympathies, but ended the call just the same, satisfied with avoiding Hotch’s quiet brand of wrath for the time being.

Sighing, you slumped in your chair in the interview room. Best to just get it over with. You dialed and held your breath, but not for long, as he picked up on the first ring.

“What did you find?” he asked, expectant.

“I just got off the phone with the others, and, it… it looks like they all attended the same college. PLNU, here in San Diego.”

A few beats of complete silence on the other end. You cringed, holding the phone away from your head like it was a bomb about to go off.

After what felt like ages, he responded. His voice was low, stern as always, but it had a clipped quality that you recognized as the closest you’d ever seen Agent Hotchner get to rage. “How did we not find this out during preliminary research?” he asked.

“Well, um, two of them didn’t actually graduate from there, so it wasn’t immediately obvious,” you offered.

More silence.

“I’m sorry, sir, you’re right though, we should have figured this out earlier. I’m sorry, I’ll -”

He interrupted you. “Thank you, I’ll tell Garcia to get a suspect pool together.” Line dead.

You sighed and laid your head in your hands. As far as tough conversations go, that was easy on the surface - hell, you’d had bosses scream at you when you worked retail for something much less consequential. But Hotch was different - he commanded respect without demanding it, and he had a way of making you feel like the only true measure of success was his praise, and by that same vein, his disappointment made you feel like an utter failure. For a man so cold and closed off, he drew the attention and admiration of everyone around him. When you started your internship, JJ had filled you in on what happened to his family - both wife and child murdered by one of their subjects. You weren’t sure how a man who had gone through that was still standing, much less working in the field that exposed them to that danger in the first place. But that was Aaron Hotchner, right? There was a reason that any member of his team would take a bullet for him without a second thought.

You’d only known him for a month, but you thought you probably would too.

____________

The rest of the interviews progressed smoothly, and you found out through conversation with your fellow team members that all three victims had taken a class with the same TA. One of them had mentioned a creepy teaching assistant to her friends at one point or another, shaping this up to hopefully be a pretty clear case of unhinged stalkerdom. Why the grandiosity in transporting and hiding the bodies no one was quite sure, but you, Morgan, and Hotch were on your way to his house along with a SWAT team to figure that out.

When you pulled up outside his address, a little yellow bungalow in La Jolla, you felt your upper lip start to sweat. Morgan and Hotch were pulling on their vests, checking their guns, and you, an intern without weapons privileges (or training, for that matter) were hiding behind the corner of the SUV.

“Remember, we don’t know if this is our guy!” Morgan yelled to the other officers. “We need him alive, don’t go shooting for no reason, got it?”

Hotch turned to you hurriedly before they moved across the street to enter the home. “You okay?” he asked, placing his hand on your upper arm.

You nodded, chewing on your bottom lip.

“You’ll be fine,” he reassured you, looking into your face intently. "There’s several officers waiting with you out here, this will take less than two minutes.”

You nodded again, unsure how to tell him that you weren’t afraid for yourself, but for them. For him. He was indestructible, fearless, more than twice your age with more than 20 times the experience in the field. But you still felt an innate urge to be there, to protect him in case something went wrong.

His potential as a cult leader is really being wasted at the BAU. Hell, I’d die for him.

Therapy, you decided. You needed therapy.

Hotch nodded, oblivious to your internal conflict, dropped his hand from your arm, and headed towards the house with the others. You heard Morgan yell, a loud bang as he presumably kicked the door in, and more shouting. Your breath hitched in your throat as you counted the seconds, dreading the sound of gunshots.

Luckily, it didn’t come. They exited the house, striding towards you. Hotch’s hair had been disheveled in the commotion, falling onto his forehead. He raked it back with one hand, sighing.

“Nothing. Doesn’t look like he fled, but Garcia didn’t mention anything about him being at work during this time. Morgan’s gonna call her and see if she can find a location; let’s search the house.”

You nodded and followed him, feeling guilty for your overwhelming sense of relief that the suspect hadn’t been home. Morgan stood in the front yard, charming Garcia on the phone. You smiled. It was only a matter of time before those two stopped being idiots and admitted their love for each other; you couldn’t imagine being one of the more seasoned team members that has dealt with their antics for years.

Trailing Hotch through the front door, you noticed immediately how… bare the home was. The furniture was all standard IKEA gray (you recognized it, having furnished your apartment on a budget), the walls were absent of any decoration, and there wasn’t a single knick-knack or distinguishing piece that made it appear as if someone actually lived there. The obvious plainness stood in stark contrast to the sunny exterior and palm trees and other greenery surrounding the home.

Morgan strode in behind you, apparently having concluded his flirting session. “Cozy, huh?”

You nodded. You didn’t have much experience profiling suspects’ living quarters, but you didn’t need to be an expert to know that something was off here.

“Split up. Take the bedroom,” Hotch directed, nodding in your direction. “Tell me if you find anything.”

The bedroom was just as unremarkable as the rest of the house. You tore through drawers of neatly folded clothing, pulled out mounds of blank notebooks from the desk, dug through a trashcan filled to the brim with just tissues (you truly didn’t want to know), and just when you were sure there was absolutely nothing of import to discover about this guy, you pulled up the corner of the mattress to find what must have been dozens of books on criminal psychology stacked within the bedframe.

The suspect was very notably not a TA for a criminal psychology class.

“Uh, Agent Hotchner? Sir? I think I found something,” you called out.

Hotch appeared in the doorway. “Show me.”

You pulled up the corner of the mattress, gesturing for him to look underneath. Moving closer, he placed his hand on your lower back, and looked over your shoulder.

“Criminal psychology?” he asked, unmoving.

You nodded, glued to your position, breathing shallowly, wanting to move to examine the books but effectively pinned between Hotch and the foot of the bed. Your gaze shifted to the left slightly, and you were met with an eye level view of-

That fucking tie. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-

He moved away to pull the stack of books out of its hiding place, and the muscles in your lower back where his hand was resting suddenly relaxed. You berated yourself internally for being so weird around him - it was a tie, for fuck’s sake, something that your mind had picked up on yesterday and inserted purposelessly into your dream.

Dream psychology is bullshit, you reassured yourself for probably the hundredth time today.

Hotch began to leaf through the books, and you saw that certain passages had been intensely highlighted and circled, with notes scribbled in the margins. He paused to read a few of them before snapping the textbook he was holding shut and standing up.

“Let’s get these packed up and go through them back at the hotel. It’s getting late.”

[ulalumewitch]

this was originally inspired by the prompt “The Pet” by @capriprompts … part 3 finally address the prompt proper and my version of it. hope you enjoy!

Author’s Note: This story deals with disappointments during the adoption process as well as references to parental deaths during childhood. Some readers may find this triggering. I hope I handled it with the care and sensitivity it deserves.

This is part 3 (and final part). The links to Part 1 and Part 2 are below:

https://ulalumewitch.tumblr.com/post/658329277505421312/betty-part-1

https://ulalumewitch.tumblr.com/post/658355318446800896/betty-part-1

(not sure why they both read “part 1” but i swear the second one is part 2. one day i’ll figure all this out - lol)

word count: 2,590

themes: angst and fluff

hope you enjoy - i just love these two.

“Betty: Part 3”

Damen frowned as he sat on a stool at the breakfast bar. He looked passed the living room and to the balcony. Autumn finally broke through the summer heat, but despite the chilly temperatures, Laurent had remained outside on the balcony. For over an hour.

He’d been there when Damen got home at dinner. Laurent refused to eat, stated he wasn’t hungry, and turned away from him. Damen didn’t push him. After eight years together he knew which battles to pick, and he knew if he picked this one, he would lose.

His stomach fluttered with nerves. Damen wanted to speak to Laurent about what was coming before it got here. He tapped his phone screen again. No new messages. Dammit, Jokaste.

The woman was always late. While he hated lying to Laurent these past few days, he felt it necessary. He’d never lied to him before and it wasn’t something he ever wanted to repeat. But he wanted this to be a surprise if only so that Laurent couldn’t argue himself out of it. This would be good for them. Damen was sure of it. Well ... mostly sure of it.

Damen opened up his text messages waiting for replies. The texts from the people he talked to most in his life waiting for responses he couldn’t muster himself to give at the moment.

Papa Theo - D. Kastor wants to host Thanksgiving this year. Don’t let him take over. You and Laurent are better hosts. I’m begging you. Do what you have to. If I have to eat salmon on crackers again instead of turkey because Jokaste thinks it’s en vogue or whatever her high snobby ass thinks, I’ll lose it. Thank you. Papa.

Auguste - Laurent keeps ignoring my calls. Everything okay?

Kastor - Bro, Knicks game next weekend?

Nik - Knicks game next weekend? Text Kas for info.

Nicaise - Tell Laurent to call Auguste before I kill them both.

Jokaste - I’ll text you once I’ve valeted with the package.

The text from Jokaste was from two hours ago. It was only a fifteen minute drive between their apartments. But Damen knew from experience if he pressured her she’d delay herself more.

But for the past few days Jokaste was oddly ... maternal. She’d listened without spewing unwanted advice and helped him find exactly what he wanted, pulling strings from a few of the charities she’d help fund over the years. He’d never been so happy she spent money and drank wine for a living.

His phone buzzed in his hand. Damen let out a shaking breath as the text from Jokaste finally came through: The eagle has landed. We’re on our way up.

Damen took a breath and replied back: Laurent is out on the balcony. Door is unlocked. If we’re still outside please wait in the office until I get you. He’s ... not himself right now.

Damen held his breath. It could go one of two ways with Jokaste. Either she would understand or she would say she was too busy and leave the surprise in the living room before walking out.

His phone buzzed: Ok

He let the breath he’d been holding out and resolutely walked around the breakfast bar and to the balcony. Damen opened the glass door and gritted his teeth against the blast of cold wind to his face. Laurent remained sitting in his chair, bundled up in a huge knit sweater, scarf, coat, and hat that left only his eyes visible. He didn’t move as Damen approached. Laurent didn’t even look at him.

Damen’s heart pounded in his chest. Did something else happen? Had he forgotten something important? He and Laurent never had a problem communicating until recently and it killed him. This had to end. And now.

“Laurent,” Damen said.

No movement. No glance of acknowledgement. Nothing.

The wind picked up and howled as if in warning from the gods themselves against the building. Damen grabbed a chair a swung it around directly in front of Laurent and then sat down. Two narrowed eyes of blue ice cut to Damen then.

“You’re blocking my view.”

“Laurent, I know this has been hard -“

“I’m not talking about this. Leave me alone.”

Damen took a breath. He was in a worse mood then he thought. Shit.

“Listen to me. Okay? Just listen.”

Laurent leaned back slightly and with a small flourish of his hand indicated for Damen to proceed before crossing his arms over his chest. Damen took a calming breath and looked away at the same view to steady himself.

“I don’t know how much you’re hurting, because I’m not you. But I’m hurting too. It’s difficult. It’s painful. It’s unfair, and ugly, and all of the things you hope to never experience,” Damen stated, “But we’ll get through this. We will have our family, Laurent. Yes, things are bleak right now but we can’t give up because somewhere out there is our son or daughter. Maybe they’re not born yet, maybe they are. But we don’t give up because that’s not what we do.

“We didn’t give up on each other. Hell, you spent your entire inheritance to start a firm with a man you weren’t even married to yet. You helped raise your younger brother when you were still technically a child yourself because the worst nightmare for children happened. You fought your way through school and internships all while spending hours volunteering with children’s programs when most of us in law school could barely keep up with the average demands. You are a fighter, Laurent. You can’t give up now. Please, don’t give up now.”

Laurent’s eyes flickered for a moment as he regarded Damen silently. He didn’t move a single muscle. He also didn’t respond.

Damen took in a shuddering breath, “I love you. I’m sorry life isn’t as we want it right now. I will keep fighting for it, but I need you with me.”

Laurent still looked at him with cool neutrality as he asked, “Where were you this week, Damianos?”

Damen’s heart lurched in his chest. Oh God ... Damen had known better than to lie to Laurent. But he did it anyway because he’d been giddy at the thought of the surprise now waiting for them in their apartment. Apparently Laurent’s foul mood had been exacerbated because of him. Goddammit this was not how he wanted this to go either.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

Damen cleared his throat, “I’m sorry I lied to you. But if you come inside I’ll show you why. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Laurent huffed, “I’m not in the mood for surprises or apologies. Now, leave me alone.”

“No.”

Laurent’s nostrils flared as he shot up and gracefully moved around him to the door. Damen cursed under his breath as he went after Laurent. Before he could think he caught his arm as they entered the living room.

“Let go,” Laurent growled.

“I was with Jokaste,” Damen surged ahead, “I needed her connections to get something for you and me to expand our family in a different way until our child comes home.”

Laurent stilled. Damen immediately let go of his arm.

Laurent turned, his blue eyes glittering with fury, as he hissed, “What did you do?”

Damen ignored the churning in his stomach and called out, “Bring her out, Jokaste.”

From the other side of the apartment the sound of heels clicking against the floor echoed around them. Then, Jokaste came into view. Her gold hair pulled back, her makeup made her look more devastatingly beautiful than was natural. Her designer clothes understated but somehow still reeked of money - and in her arms she held a basket with pink padding. And within that, a small puppy yipped happily, wagging her tail.

Damen looked at his husband. Laurent’s mouth hung slightly open, eyes wide and staring. Damen took a step closer to him until they were nearly touching but not quite.

Damen murmured, “She’s a King Charles Beagle mix. Her owners were older and couldn’t care for her so they put her up for adoption. She’s twelve weeks old, spayed, up to date on vaccines, and mostly housebroken. Jokaste put word out to the charities for animal adoption she’s helped fundraise for over the years, and then one of her connections emailed her about this beauty. I’ve been meeting with Jokaste to spend time with the puppy and then more recently to finish paperwork on her, as well as visit dog training centers and to research their puppy programs.”

He stopped. Laurent still didn’t respond, though he’d since closed his mouth, his eyes on the puppy in the basket. The white and tan puppy yipped excitedly seeming only to have eyes for Laurent. Damen’s chest ached slightly ... it was like she knew.

“I wanted to talk to you about it earlier but you needed time alone,” Damen whispered, “I’m sorry. I wanted it to be a little bit of a surprise but not this much. Also, if you don’t want her I understand. Jokaste will keep her instead so she’ll have a good home. But ... but I thought it would be nice for us to have a pet to take care of, to start expanding our family this way until ... until we can get what we want. She’s part beagle, so I imagine she’ll utterly lose her mind with happiness on the farm. But again, Laurent, if it’s too much, Jokaste will take her home, no questions asked. It’s up to you.”

Laurent swallowed and Damen heard his throat click as he did so. His face unreadable as he took a step towards Jokaste and the puppy. As he walked towards her, Damen stayed in place, but didn’t suppress the smile as the puppy began to yip louder, and bounced on her front paws the closer Laurent got to her.

“She’s high energy,” Jokaste murmured, “But she does love to cuddle. I think she likes you.”

Laurent remained silent as he brought his fingers up to the puppy. She immediately began to lick them, her tail wagging at such a rate Damen wondered if it possible for the thing to fly off of her. Then, tentatively, Laurent stroked her head. The puppy stopped bouncing but remained with her eyes on Laurent, tail wagging, as he pet her. Damen’s gut lurched as he saw the slight tremor in Laurent’s hand every time he lifted it up to resume stroking her down her back.

Then Laurent picked her up and held her against his chest. The puppy reached up and licked his face. Laurent pursed his lips together but Damen swore a smile was there before he was assaulted with puppy kisses. He cradled her against him, her fur a stark contrast against the black coat he still wore.

When she settled Laurent looked at Damen. He felt Laurent’s stare go through him and straight into his soul.

“Her name is Betty Rue Vere-Akielon,” Laurent announced.

Damen grinned, “Your obsession with the Golden Girls prevails once again.”

Laurent looked at the puppy and whispered, “They are fierce and so are you.”

The puppy licked Laurent’s face happily in response yipping gleefully. Damen cut his eyes to Jokaste and she smiled softly at him.

“I’m going to go,” Jokaste stated, “Have a good evening.”

“Thank you,” Damen said.

She dipped her chin slightly in acknowledgement and left. Damen walked over to Laurent and sat next to him as he set Betty on the ground. The puppy ran over both of their legs as Laurent removed his scarf and jacket, discarding both on the floor behind them.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” Damen whispered.

Laurent cut his eyes to him before focusing on the puppy again, and said, “Forgiven. I’m sorry I gave you the silent treatment.”

Damen huffed a laugh, “No you’re not.”

A ghost of a smile appeared on Laurent’s lips and he said, “I missed having a dog. We had one when I was a little boy but she passed away just before our parents.”

Damen nodded and said, “They estimate she shouldn’t be more than twenty-five or thirty pounds. Both breeds are good with children. Training is a necessity. But, but I think she’ll fit in well.”

“She’s perfect,” Laurent cooed and picked her up again to hold her to his chest, and then looked at Damen, his smile finally wide and unrestrained, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Damen said, “I know this doesn’t fix anything, but I thought it would help.”

Laurent leaned closer to him and then pressed his lips softly to Damen’s. He closed his eyes and when Laurent went to retreat, grabbed the back of his head and kept their mouths firmly in place. Damen deepened the kiss, needing the contact, reveling in the taste of them together.

“I love you,” Damen whispered breathlessly, “I love you and I’m here for you. Through good times and bad.”

Laurent smiled softly, “I love you, too. Thank you for ... thank you.”

Damen slipped an arm around Laurent’s waist and pulled him closer. Laurent could talk circles around anyone. But when it came to expressing feelings, he still sometimes had difficulty. But Damen didn’t mind. Laurent loved Damen in ways that went well beyond the words, as it should be.

“Oops,” Laurent tittered, “Betty, darling, we must work on that bladder control. Come on, lets go for a little walk. Does she have a leash?”

Damen smiled, “Everything is stashed in the office, including a couple of different coats for her since it’s getting colder outside.”

Laurent snorted a little and stood up saying, “I’ll get her collar, leash, and coat on. You can clean up the mess.”

“Is that how it’s going to be?” Damen asked.

“Please tell me you bought her a collar and leash to distinguish her as the royalty she is and that it matches whatever clothing you got for her to wear,” Laurent called as he walked away from Damen without looking back or responding to his question.

Damen rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath before stating, “No, because I knew you’d hate anything I bought anyway.”

Laurent’s snort echoed as he made his way down the hall.

Damen smiled even as he cleaned up the puppy’s accident as he heard Laurent’s murmurs to the puppy, “Don’t worry, Betty, daddy is going to get you the most expensive collar, leash, and puppy coats money can buy. Papa doesn’t understand the importance of these things. What do you think pink with diamonds? Yes, I think so too ... or maybe a gold collar to compliment your white and tan coloring? Yes ... we’ll try a few on ...”

The pain of the rejection began to ease slightly in Damen’s heart. He knew it would take more time and more than a puppy for it to heal completely. But his gamble paid off and he reveled in the warm relief that coursed through his veins.

He and Laurent had work to do, but the dark cloud of anguish seemed to lift from over their heads. And as Damen put on his coat and grabbed Laurent’s from off the floor, he smiled as he walked down the hall as Laurent’s lament echoed loudly from the office, “Oh my God, was this made for peasant puppies? Nylon? Really?”

But Damen didn’t mind. He’d endure any cutting remarks on his sense of puppy fashion if it meant his beloved had a respite from his pain. Things weren’t perfect, but it was still a damn good place to be.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ End of this Little Story

thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. They are one of the many ships I love to follow and write about. have a lovely day, morning, evening, night wherever you are! xo

[comebeonetwothree]

Blog #1: The Beginning

05/25/2021

Welcome to my, I have no clue what I’m doing so bare with me, travel blog!! For these next few weeks, I will be driving across the country and back, hitting around 19 states in 8-weeks. 

Post grad life is a strange in between stage of: YES I DID IT and oh fuck I think I’m supposed to be an adult now. That comes with the constant question circling like a gnat on a hot summer day... So what’s next? 

Honestly Grandma, Aunt Karen, Uncle John and Kyle’s mom’s lesbian partner, I have no fucking clue so please stop asking!!!! 

But my actions are an answer to that question. I chose to postpone that whole adult career thing for a little longer. So I’m traveling for two months and I will avoid that question “What’s Next?”

COVID-19 really messed up the picture perfect ending of college, nevertheless, I still managed to have a blast every night in a “socially distant” manner ;) 

Traveling has always been a dream of mine, and I always assumed it would be there when I was ready and I would be ready when it got here.  Sheeshhh was I wrong... who would have imagined a pandemic closing down not only our borders to other countries, but state borders as well. 

It’s now been over a year since I have left New York State, and quite frankly, I am ready to explore. So naturally I got home from college a week ago and now I am off...

 Who

Who cares... 

Three girls, one car... How bad could it be? No, really, if we come back with bruises and cuts all over, I didn’t “fall down the stairs” or “walk into a door”...it’s official, our cycles have linked and we have gone mad. 

The goal is to meet new people along the way, people that touch our lives and make this trip more spectacular. And maybe we will touch some lives as well.

I can only imagine that who we are now will change and evolve throughout our journey, having only started this trip with hopes and dreams. When reality sets in, things will change, and discoveries about ourselves will begin to happen. 

Self-discovery is such an important aspect of this trip for all three of us. Personally, by not having any clue what I want to do for the rest of my life, I  hope the open mindedness of my current state will help me find joy in the simple life and give me insight into my future. 

 What

Whatever man...

Eight weeks of sight seeing, connecting to ourselves and trying new hobbies.

I hate jumping the gun and announcing any new hobbies because, 10 out of 10 times, I do one for a week and give up on that bullshit.

And sorry in advance if this blog takes a back seat... My plan is to prioritize life's natural beauties and learning. 

I’ve always wanted to start writing but was never inspired, and fiction isn't up my ally... I have the imagination of a 12-year-old boy, so go about that as you please :)

While trying to disconnect myself to the social world as best as I can, this new digital age is not going anywhere and as a Communications major, I am not escaping its black hole effect anytime soon. 

Blogging makes this feel less Gen Z and more “intellectual” if you will. 

I hope to keep this blog updated once at the end of every week, including the stops made within the week and the Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How’s of that weeks adventures. With some room for special surprises:) 

Overtime this blog will hopefully shape into what it needs to be. I researched many ways to blog and nothing caught my attention, so why would it catch yours? Here I am trying out my own version of this, so feedback is greatly appreciated in finding new fun ways to keep y’all entertained!

 Where

Where are we...

Give or take, there will be 19 states we will stay in. Starting in New York, we will slowly move down south and wrap back around. I won’t be revealing the locations until the following week's blogs, or on my Instagram and Facebook. 

We have secured 75% of the locations we will be staying at, and the rest is a fuck it. Hopefully finding some first come first serve campgrounds, or we’ll just sleep in the car. 

When in these locations, we will either be camping or staying in motels/hotels in cities. Trying to do this the cheapest way we can think of, my glizzy art might just have to make a reappearance (If you don’t know what glizzy is, hop off this blog right now and go to Urban Dictionary. And if you are not familiar with my glizzy art, well you probably should have followed me on snapchat during the last month of college in a pandemic). 

When

When in Rome...

Tomorrow people, it’s happening...

 If you are reading this today, its tomorrow!!! If you are reading this tomorrow it’s today!!! And if you are reading this a week from today, go fuck yourself, now you have to catch up... don’t be late again mister!

Why

Why the fuck not...

There is some serious independence when it comes to taking off for two months in a car with friends. 

I still remember when my mom had to drive me to my friends houses, and would talk to their parents to make sure I was safe. 

Going away to college was a leap in the direction of being an independent young woman. But I also went to a small town college and had roommates, making it a great step to the adult world of being fully responsible for my own actions. 

Next level right now.  I will be living out of a car, buying my own food and supplies, and not having the security of my family being a simple three hour drive away... not that I ever took advantage of that (sorry mom). 

Why the blogging... 

Not knowing what I am good at is quite frustrating, four years of college later... so I am going to just try new things until I find my passion. And this blog is a great place to reflect.

Spending two months out of the job force is already a weird concept to me. I've had a job for the majority of college waitressing at a local joint (shout out to Sloan’s NY Grill!). I worked all throughout high school as well. 

Not having any job obligation now seems strange, so let's hope this becomes  self-discovery into multiple opportunities or it will be the most publicly awkward diary ever:/ 

 How

How did you make it this far...

This came about one night drunk at a bar... simply expressing how weird it is COVID can take almost everything away from us so quickly. 

Maya and Mary both have a direction in their life as to “What’s Next.” Both having spent their last semesters of college pursuing opportunities for their future, they have become idols to me. 

I was lucky enough to bring this idea up before they left me for their full adult lives... getting an opportunity to travel with my two best friends. 

Mary is pursuing a teaching degree and spent her last semester as a student teach back home. Maya spent the last few months doing an in-person internship in the city to further her connections in the fashion industry. 

They both have this responsible adult thing going on, and I’m over here saying some dumb shit like “Hey let's take two months off of life and travel!” Weirdly enough, alcohol might have had an influential factor here, but they said hell yessss!! 

The next morning, waking up with a classic hangover, we all texted each other and reiterated the idea of this whole cross country, two-month excursion. 

And now look where we are :) 

 Bottom Line

Sooooo, this is a temporary blog that may or may not last. Don’t get your hopes up too high! I want to share this experience with everyone who has supported us through this crazy idea, and give a shout out to everyone who has reached out and wished us the best!

I am fully winging this and hope it's not too illiterate for you smarty pants out there... I’m just trying to have fun with it. This is not meant to be a job, but a start to finding the answer to everyone's question...

What’s Next?

[jed-thomas]

Debt and Unreality at a British University

Most of the time, when journalists or researchers ask students in Britain about their “concerns” and their “experience”, they’re not looking for answers like: ‘I don’t feel real.’ Because, well, what do you do with that?

A friend of mine sat on a stiff leather couch in the hallway, tiredly scrolling. She’d just clocked out. For nine grand, we were getting about 7 hours of teaching a week. The rest of the time, of course, was supposed to be devoted to reading all the material we’d be discussing in seminars or attending lectures on. But she was working part-time at a Pizza Express. The maintenance loans only stretch so far, especially with rent around here. And you have to catch a bus to get to campus. Lots of us, our parents helped out. But if the ‘rents can’t or won’t pay, you’re a little stuffed.

In 2019, it was reported that over half of young people are now attending university. These figures represent the fulfilment of a target set by Tony Blair at a Labour Party conference in 1999, during his first term as Prime Minister. In July of the year before, Blair’s parliament passed the Teaching and Higher Education Act, introducing tuition fees for universities across the UK. In 1990, around 25% of young people stayed in some form of full-time education beyond the age of 18. Today, most young Britons will have experienced the presumption that they’re a university student and frequently, the expectation.

Yesterday, the University of Warwick’s official Twitter account shared a link to a blog post on how to ‘relieve intense stress in 60-seconds.’ The post was written by a current student.

In 1962, towards the end of Harold Macmillan’s Conservative premiership, “ordinarily resident” students were exempted from tuition fees and made eligible for a means-tested maintenance grant. Shortly after the Teaching and Higher Education Act of 1998, maintenance grants were replaced with loans. In 2004, the cap on tuition fees rose to £3,000 and by 2010, it had risen to its current rate of around £9,000. There were protests over that last increase, of course. The protests were in 2010 and I went to university in 2017. I now owe the British government around £27,000 for tuition and around £10,000 for maintenance. If you’re going this year, you’ll end up owing roughly the same - more, if your family earns less than mine.

You hear things. “Oh, they’re antidepressants.” A friend with a weird flatmate who never leaves their room. Oddly intense desperation eking out of drunk students from some corner of a smoking-area. Vaguely recognisable names and their time of death. “Honestly, just couldn’t be bothered to get up.” An acquaintance from your course drops out and moves back home. Barely concealed frustration in your professor’s tone, hushed rants in faculty corridors. And you notice other things. Admissions of 'suicidal ideation' and life-crises on a FaceBook page which is supposed to be about students sending anonymous messages of romantic interest. Sarcastic tweets about ‘mental health dogs’ and ‘mindfulness seminars’ have become cliché. A routinely empty chair in your seminar room. Strained eyes staring into the middle-ground, silence attending the teacher’s question. Dysfunction as normality. Your diagnosis in your bio next to where you go to uni.

In 2014, it was reported that one in seven full-time students also work full-time. The same report put the proportion of full-time students working part-time at a third. A number of reasons were given as to why they were doing this. I wonder, when they look at their bank accounts, or their accommodation, or their text on sociology, on Latin American history, on virology, existentialism, do they feel they have a handle on things? "I’m a full-time barista, full-time student." "Hello, I’m an impossibility."

For students, the British university is an experiment in unreality. Am I a customer or a pupil? Am I demanding a service from a business or being educated by my elders for my own good? Will it be my fault for selecting a ‘non-applicable’ degree or their fault for selling it to me? Everything is optional, even when it isn’t. You spend all week pouring over the text but feel embarrassed to correct or question the people who clearly didn’t because the professor doesn’t: “Don’t worry if you haven’t done the reading.” Next time, you just put in a sentence or two to fill one of the many silences, improvising off of what others have said, pretending you read whatever it was. Then, of course, coursework is set assessing your knowledge of the curriculum. You spend a couple of days stressed out, hoping to turn your lack of knowledge into a scholarly tone of caution and hedged bets. You go to a careers fair, a student union election, a party, a debate. Nothing sticks, tomorrow is the same day. Your teachers are devotees of a faith but you have to fill the ranks of their picket against the Church. The protestors mass, fill the campus with tension and noise, and then, in a couple of weeks, you’re sitting in the same seminar room with the same professor doing the same thing. You have to think surprisingly hard to remember that past, fugitive now in an opaque present. The only thing that changes is that a few new buildings emerge from their shells of scaffolding. When you miss almost five weeks, there is an email or two. One time, because of your chronic truancy, you get some mark or something, some strike against your name. Nothing happens. In fact, you find it incredibly hard to even find the place where that warning is actually recorded, displayed. You graduate with a First.

Recently, there has been a steady trickle of data, news items, and reports, gradually exposing the rate of suicide in higher education in the UK. It came to a head last week, as a Conservative peer, Lord Lucas, called for a bill which would give British universities a duty of care in the mental health outcomes of their students. Lord Lucas’ plea represents the mainstream of a movement by aggrieved parents of young people who took their lives whilst at university. One of these young people was Benjamin Murray, a 19-year-old in his first year studying English Literature at Bristol University. Shortly before falling to his death, Murray was told by the university that he would have to leave. A local newspaper reports that, according to sources at the university, his attendance was ‘sporadic’ and he had ‘failed to hand in expected work’. Discussing interactions he had with Murray which revealed that the undergraduate was suffering with an anxiety disorder, senior tutor Ben Gunter remarks that: 'A large number of students we see have varying levels of anxiety.’

I mean, look at it this way. You’re saddled with a debt, a sizeable debt. It makes you nervous just looking at all the zeroes. But this moment of selling your soul was planned, it was expected from the beginning. And there are voices all around you that keep coming up and whispering in your ear. It’s just a tax on spending after education. No-one’s expecting you to pay it back. It all gets forgiven when you hit 40. What’s a person to do in that situation? The same government that portrayed the national debt as an existential threat is the same government that turns around and says: Don’t worry. Does debt matter or doesn’t it? Is this real or isn’t it?

People are screaming, again. It's 5:35 in the afternoon. Earliest you’ve heard it this week. They’re really drunk. Or on something. You’re only dimly aware of it, really. It’s ubiquitous, it’s ambiance. Dimly, you wonder if they realise how loud they are being, how obvious their public intoxication is. You perk up when you recognise a few voices. People on your course - you’ve got an essay due tomorrow at noon. Down the ages, goes the cliché, students are drunk and reckless with deadlines. But you’ve been wondering whether it really matters if you get a 1:1 instead of a 2:1. Don’t they inflate the numbers, anyway? And besides, it's experience that matters on a CV, everyone’s got a degree these days. I’d just be another idiot with a 1:1. Your flatmate drunkenly knocks on your door and you seriously consider going back on your refusal to go out tonight.

A survey of undergraduates in seven universities in England reportedly found very high rates of dangerous drinking, with 41% identified as ‘hazardous drinkers’. It also considers that one in five students were likely to be diagnosable as alcoholic.

Every weekend students give in to the unreality. I know what you're thinking. Of course, young people have always experimented with substances, acted like they were invulnerable, ignored consequences. But many of the young people before us were unfamiliar with this level of unreality, this level of confusion. So the recklessness intensifies in those claustrophobic spaces that remain open to us.

I have deadlines, right now. A few days to go. I’ve been looking at the news, all the statistics on internships and jobs falling through for graduates and young people, in general. The worst hit. I’ve been talking to my friends, moaning about the job hunt, the rejections and the no-replies. Anecdotes tumble down the grape-vine of graduates from respected universities not even being able to get a part-time job at a supermarket because of the number of applicants or whatever. A couple of my friends are intermitting due to mental health problems. When I was home, before the most recent lockdown, a number of my friends and I worked at a pub. I’m back at uni and they’re still there. Class of 2020, all of us. Of course, they like it, it’s fine. But where do we go from here?

Don’t ask me, mate, I’ve got deadlines.

[hktime9]

“How to write better code?” asked a computer scientist-to-be

This is a question that I get once every 2 weeks (on average) mostly from my colleagues and friends who are studying the same degree for the same time as I. Why do they ask me? To be honest- I don’t know. What I also don’t know is the answer to their question. But I’d try to summarize what I think of the question. The answer to this question depends on many factors. If the questioner is a computer science major, I’d see what year they are in. Here’s my year to year advice to them:

- Freshman year: Coding at first is really intimidating. Its given that you’d spend hours in front of your screen to find that one line that does not compile. Here, you should remain patient and learn to accept that this problem demands a finite amount of time and focused concentration to overcome. Using online sources like stack overflow and GitHub are great options but never a first step if you want to become a decent coder. Go line by line and figure out what’s happening and whether it’s the right behavior. Freshman year includes a lot of programming labs, projects and assignments. Try to do all of them and start well before your deadline (seriously). Make it a habit to write a small program everyday. Could be a simple program to add two numbers or anything of that sort. Do some string operation or something. This would not only improve your algorithmic thinking, but also would polish the syntax of the language you code in. Like everything else in the world, mastery comes after practice. So hang in tight!

-Sophomore year: By now you have some experience of the life cycle of a typical program: understand the problem statement, do it on paper the way a human would do, do it on paper the way a computer would do, translate the latter to the programming language in question, debug. Now you also know some basics of computer science through some programming courses and maybe a few systems courses as well. The scope of your programming assignments should not be higher than maybe some array based tasks or implementing a few data structures like linked lists and binary trees to name a few. I’m assuming that you are completing your programming assignments religiously. If not, you really should be doing that before putting in extra work to improve your coding. I’ve seen people depending/copying on other people’s work even in individual assignments. While some might get away from plagiarism penalties and policies of your university, others face some sort of penalty (could be a grade reduction or something of that sort). While the latter might learn a lesson, the former fails to develop their skills and ultimately suffers in their professional life. So leaching on a friend is never a good option, well not in the long term. Try to do it even if you’re finding it hard. Take help from your teaching assistants and the rest of the course staff. You need to realize that these people are paid to help you. So please utilize office hours and appointments to the fullest. Doing extra always helps like attempting optional parts or the ones that give extra credits. Do some interesting problems and coding puzzles like the ones on hackerrank and leetcode. These are some excellent resources to polish up your skills as a developer and problem solver because they include some obvious metrics like completion, correctness and time. Have a study group where you can discuss your assignments and homeworks. There’s a difference between discussing and copying/leaching off. Mind that difference.

-Junior year: This is when you’re comfortable with programming in general. You know how it can be applied in a array of different tasks. You might have taken some old school courses like algorithms, databases and operating systems. PS I’m counting data structures as a programming intensive course and did not give it a special mention in the sophomore section :(. Go for some interesting courses like a networks course, AI/ ML or maybe some usability course. These courses will help you appreciate how you just cannot run away from programming. You’ll learn new approaches like socket programming and programming over a network (maybe some Remote Procedure Calls?). Go for some interesting applications. I remember developing a simple chatting application over a network during my junior year. I hosted it on the university’s network and anyone on the network could use it (if they knew the ip, obviously). I not only developed it, but also made it resistant to buffer overflows and scripting attacks(XSS) thanks to my roommate cum penetration tester. Once done with your Databases course, you can go for a full stack level by learning some server side and client side scripting. Learn some server based frameworks in javascript or anything. Look for some widely used frameworks; the ones which have a wider developer community. The community support will help you a lot, trust me. Some front end frameworks (client side) like ReactJS and VueJS are great these days. You can learn them using some MOOCS if your university doesn’t offer a course on them. Personally, Coursera is a great resource. Its super easy to use and has great customer care. Their “Full-Stack Web Development with React Specialization” offered by the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology is great. Once done you are fully capable to work as a full stack developer and the only thing stopping you is an internship offer from a company and time to practice. The latter can be achieved on your own, while the prior needs some homework and external networking. Connect to some local organization and CEOs on LinkedIn. Make sure you have a well maintained and updated LinkedIn profile and turn on recruiter discoveries to get recruiter in-mails. Be on the lookout for internship offerings and openings. Apply whenever you get a chance. Working on an organization’s project will help you learn a lot. It will not only improve your coding and problem solving stills, but also make you realize how important it is to work in teams. The latter is crucial to success in the industry since a project has multiple groups composed of many individuals. Be sure to take up work that is doable within the deadline. Keep a good relation with your supervisor and always ask for specific direction to get it right the first time.

Senior year: This has to be the most confusing year in-terms of future planning since graduation is approaching and life after is somewhat uncertain. Don’t let this fear of the uncertain get to you. My advice might not be very concrete because I, myself, am a senior while writing this. But I’ll try to incorporate my learning and findings here. The first question you might want to answer is whether coding is for you. This question is not presented before because there wasn’t an escape from it earlier because you had assignments that required you to code. Now that you can take up courses that need minimal programming effort like human-computer interaction and usability/planning courses you have a way out. These include courses like requirement engineering and planning. There are other examples as well which aren’t difficult to find. The answer to the question posed would not be a yes unless you completely love programming, in which case you’re on the right track. Loving programming is different from being good at it. You might love it and be bad at it and that’s completely fine in which case you should multiply your efforts to get better at it. Again, practice is the key. Try out programming courses on Coursera or some other platform. Get a github for student account. You’ll get it for free if you have an email account provided by your university. I’d like to make a special mention to Educative.io which offers a plethora of courses for free if you have a github for students. Educative.io is user friendly and keeps good track of your progress through the course. It is run by a very dedicated team. I personally know people working there who write articles and make courses. Almost all of them have worked as teaching assistants during their time at the university and most certainly know what they are doing and there work reflects their capabilites. They have some amazing courses. Do check it out if you have a github for students account. You’d also get free access to paid tools like AWS, Azure, DigitalOcean and Heroku. If the answer to the question is no, then you need to research more on courses and fields in computer science that do not require intense programming. These 3 years will definitely equip you with the skills that you need to do “some” coding that these fields demand. There wont be much but not zero at the same time. If you are still undecided about the question, you really should invest time knowing an answer. Ask your professors for help. Tell them honestly what you feel and why you can’t make a decision considering that you’ve spent considerable time doing it. They might guide you to a definitive answer. And then continue according to the answer. Now’s also a good time to look into industry’s standards and best practices. Maybe learn a new language? Or try using mainstream tools and familiarize yourself with devOps. Some of them are Docker, Jenkins, Slack, Jira, Git and many more, each with a set of its own unique features. Their knowledge and use will help you once you land a job because most organizations use them on a daily basis. Try some cloud computing platforms like the Amazon web services, Microsoft’s Azure and Google’s Cloud Platform. These platforms offer an array of services like storage, hosting and compute. Familiarize yourself with their usage because they usually have a learning curve. Do a lot of hobby coding. Try different approaches to a problem. For example I was going through geekforgeeks and came across an interesting problem which had a greedy solution and required an LCM (Least Common Multiple) of two numbers. The author had used a builtin function for computing it. I wondered if I could write it recursively. I decomposed the problem and found an optimal substructure which proved that a recursive solution should exist. I worked on it and wrote it and it worked. It was a mere 10 liner. Practice like the one mentioned will help you develop confidence while improving your coding skills. So practice writing code even if its not that intensive and long and hopefully you’ll see improvement.

This concludes my very first attempt that writing. I plan to write more and post here often. I’m eager to get feedback and comments. Here’s my LinkedIn profile. I really hope this helps the reader. Thank you for reading

[xox-gossipgoat]

more gud personal statements (from medical students but still)

Sample Essay 1 In the sweating discomfort of the summertime heat, I walked through Philadelphia International Airport with several overweight bags, tired eyes, and a bad case of Shigella. Approaching Customs, I noticed the intensity and seriousness on the faces of the customs officers whose responsibility were to check passports and question passengers. As I moved closer to the front of the line, I noticed someone reading a foreign newspaper. The man was reading about the Middle Eastern conflict, a clash fueled by religious intolerance. What a sharp contrast to Ghana, I thought. I had just spent three weeks in Ghana. While there I worked, studied their religions, ate their food, traveled and contracted malaria. Despite all of Ghana’s economic hardships, the blending of Christianity, Islam, and traditional religion did not affect the health of the country. When I reached the front of the line, the customs officer glanced at my backpack and with authoritative curiosity asked me, “What are you studying?” I responded in a fatigued, yet polite voice, “Religious studies with a pre-med track.” Surprised, the officer replied rhetorically, “Science and religion, interesting, how does that work?” This was not the first time I had encountered the bewildered facial expression or this doubtful rhetorical question. I took a moment to think and process the question and answered, “With balance.” Throughout my young life I have made an effort to be well-rounded, improve in all facets of my personal life, and find a balance between my personal interests and my social responsibility. In my quest to understand where I fit into society, I used service to provide a link between science and my faith. Science and religion are fundamentally different; science is governed by the ability to provide evidence to prove the truth while religion’s truth is grounded on the concept of faith. Physicians are constantly balancing the reality of a person’s humanity and the illness in which they are caring for. The physicians I have found to be most memorable and effective were those who were equally as sensitive and perceptive of my spirits as they were of my symptoms. Therefore, my desire to become a physician has always been validated, not contradicted by my belief system. In serving, a person must sacrifice and give altruistically. When one serves they sacrifice their self for others benefit. Being a servant is characterized by leading by 3 example and striving to be an advocate for equity. As a seventh grade math and science teacher in the Philadelphia public school system, everyday is about sacrifice and service. I sacrifice my time before, during and after-school; tutoring, mentoring and coaching my students. I serve with vigor and purpose so that my students can have opportunities that many students from similar backgrounds do not have. However, without a balance my effectiveness as a teacher is compromised. In February, I was hospitalized twice for a series of asthma attacks. Although I had been diagnosed with asthma, I had not had an attack since I was in middle school. Consequently, the physicians attributed my attacks to high stress, lack of sleep, and poor eating habits. It had become clear to me that my unrelenting drive to provide my students with a sound math and science education without properly balancing teaching and my personal life negatively impacted my ability to serve my students. I believe this experience taught me a lesson that will prove to be invaluable as a physician. Establishing an equilibrium between my service and my personal life as a physician will allow me to remain connected to the human experience; thus enabling me to serve my patients with more compassion and effectiveness. Throughout my travels and experiences I have seen the unfortunate consequences of not having equitable, quality health care both domestically and abroad. While many take having good health for granted, the financial, emotional, mental, and physical effects illnesses have on individuals and families can have a profound affect on them and the greater society. Illness marks a point in many people’s lives where they are most vulnerable, thus making a patient’s faith and health care providers vital to their healing process. My pursuit to blend the roles of science and religion formulate my firm belief that health care providers are caretakers of God’s children and have a responsibility to all of humanity. Nevertheless, I realize my effectiveness and success as a physician will be predicated mostly on my ability to harmonize my ambition with my purpose. Therefore, I will always answer bewildered looks with the assurance that my faith and my abilities will allow me to serve my patients and achieve what I have always strived for and firmly believe in, balance. 4 Sample Essay 2 “911 operator, what’s your emergency?” “My friend has just been shot and he is not moving!” “Is he breathing?” “I don't think so!” “Are you hurt?” “No.” “Stay there, the paramedics are on their way." On April 10th 2003, at approximately 11pm, my best friend Kevin and I, intending to see a movie, headed out my front door. We never made it to see a horror movie; but our night was nothing close to mundane, when we became innocent victims to gang crossfire. As we descended my front door stairs two gunshots were fired and one person fell to the floor. Kevin was shot! I vividly recall holding him in my arms, and while he lost blood I almost lost my mind. All I wanted was to help, but there was nothing I could do. At 1am that morning Kevin's family and I sat in the emergency waiting room at Brookdale Hospital in Brooklyn, hoping and praying that the chief surgeon would bring us good news. While this event started me on my quest to become a medical doctor, at that moment all I could envision was a life of despondency. According to author Jennifer Holloway, “tragedy is a substance which can ignite the soul.” When Kevin’s surgeon walked through the door of the emergency waiting room he did not have to say a word. Kevin’s family cried hysterically. I, on the other hand, could not cry. As fast as despondency had filled my heart, it was now gone; I was consumed by anger, frustration and motivation to change my life’s direction. The death of my best friend compelled me to pursue a career in medicine. This, I hope, will enable me to help save the lives that others try to take. In the fall of this event, I took my first biology and chemistry courses. By the end of the year I excelled as the top student in biology, received the Inorganic Chemistry Achievement Award and was encouraged to become a tutor in general biology and chemistry. Tutoring was a captivating experience for me. Questions raised by students challenged my understanding of scientific concepts and their application in patient care. To further develop my knowledge of medicine, I volunteered in the emergency department at Albert Einstein Hospital, in Bronx, NY. While shadowing doctors, I was introduced to triaging, patient diet monitoring and transitioning from diagnosis to treatment. This exposed me to some of the immense responsibilities of a doctor, but my 5 experience helping in the cancer ward was where I learned the necessity of humanity in a physician and how it can be used to treat patients. Peering through a window I saw Cynthia, a seven-year-old girl diagnosed with terminal cancer, laughing uncontrollably after watching her doctor make funny faces. For a moment not only did Cynthia forget that she was dying, but her smile expressed joy and the beauty of being alive. This taught me that a physician, in addition to being knowledgeable and courageous, should show compassion to patients. It also became clear to me that a patient’s emotional comfort is as important as their physical health, and are both factors that a physician considers while providing patient care. Although focused on medicine, I was introduced to research through the Louis Stokes Alliance for Minority Participation in Science. Here, I learned organic synthesis techniques, while working on a project to elucidate the chemical mechanisms of oxygenprotein binding and its relationships to anemia. I also received the United Negro College Fund/Merck Science Initiative Research Scholarship that allowed me to experience cutting edge research in Medicinal Chemistry, with a number of world-class scientists. At Merck Research Labs, I learned the fundamentals of synthesizing novel compounds for drug discovery, and we focused on treatments for cardiac atrial fibrillation. This internship changed my view of medication and their origins, and left me with a deep appreciation of the challenges of medicinal research. I also now understand that medical doctors and research scientists have similar responsibilities: to solve current and future health issues that we face. Despite the tragedy that brought me to the hospital on April 10th 2003, the smells, the residents and the organized chaos of the emergency room have become an integral part of a new chapter in my life. On the day that my friend lost his life I found my soul in medicine. Today as I move forward on the journey to become a physician I never lose sight of the ultimate goal; to turn the dying face of a best friend into the smiling glow of a patient, just like Cynthia’s. A patient’s sickness can be a result of many things. But with the right medications, a physician’s compassion and some luck, sickness can be overcome, and the patient helped. In time and with hard work it will be my privilege to possess the responsibilities of a physician in caring for life. 6 Sample Essay 3 On Wednesdays, I was the only visitor for Jorge, an elderly patient in the AIDS and Tropical Disease Ward at Carlos III Hospital in Madrid. A native of Equatorial Guinea, Jorge had full blown AIDS and had been living in Spain illegally because, according to Jorge, his country lacked enough resources and trained doctors to provide an adequate level of treatment. Over several weeks I witnessed his losing battle, not only with a terminal illness but also with cultural incongruence and a continual feeling of unease, thousands of miles away from home. Talking with Jorge during my experience as a volunteer for the NGO Soldarios Para el Desarollo in the fall of 2001, led me to question the justice of health care discrepancies that make it so difficult for people like Jorge to get sufficient treatment in underdeveloped nations. Jorge was a victim of health care inequality, a subject that has been at the forefront of my mind since enrolling in “Race and Medicine in America” during my sophomore year. The course revealed to me the historically poor distribution of quality medical attention and how treatment continually evades socio-economically disadvantaged communities. I came to understand how, in the US, a national shortage of physicians and unlikely prospects of financial gain have caused few doctors to take an interest in these communities, leaving a diminishing level of access to services and expertise. This unfortunate reality inspired me to take an interest in treating these populations, in hopes of helping to improve the care for our country’s poor and underserved. Jorge’s story broadened my perspective, as I further realized that this need is exponentially worse in developing nations. The combination of my studies and real world experience strengthened my desire to practice medicine focused on treating underserved populations, nationally and abroad. In pursuit of my goal, I sought additional exposure to medical conditions in the developing world. During the summer of 2002, I contributed to a public health research initiative in Ghana. My research on malaria infectivity in and around the capital city Accra sent me to shanty town communities with poor hygiene and chronic illness and gave me yet another perspective on the impact of economic disparity in health outcomes and treatment options. Exorbitant patient volume and endemic disease are but a few of the many obstacles to doctors serving these communities and trying to provide quality care. Despite theses difficulties, I witnessed skilled physicians in this setting performing complex procedures in substandard conditions. At the Komfo Ankye Teaching Hospital in 7 the urban village of Kumasi, I scrubbed-in during the removal of an osteosarcoma tumor from a man’s jaw and an ileostomy, where I saw a scalpel filling the role of an absent screwdriver and doctors working in a hot ward with minimal ventilation and only basic amenities. These resourceful doctors were still able to perform, reaffirming my expectation that despite complications, the addition of well-trained doctors can make a marked difference. I began to understand how, by taking my medical school training to such environments, I could serve as an intermediary - bringing first world knowledge into a thirdworld context. Since my time in Ghana, I have continued to participate to health care projects in poor communities. During the summer of 2003, I conducted research in an obstetrics ward of a public hospital in Sao Paulo, and the following fall participated in an infectious disease initiative that brought medical attention to impoverished suburbs of Lima, Peru. Most recently, I worked at a bilingual health clinic in Chicago serving a primarily Latino immigrant community. With each experience, I gained a deeper understanding of the complementary skills necessary to make a real difference. I have learned that medical knowledge, cultural understanding, and political savvy are critical components to a holistic approach to community health care and development, and are skills possessed by the most effective contributors to positive change. I continue to hone my language skills in anticipation of serving Spanish and Portuguese-speaking populations; and I am building an understanding of how to work in a complex funding environment and link medical treatment with public policy. I wish to pursue my medical training and a Master’s in Public Health, so that I can improve access to health care and serve as an effective physician. My desire to perform medical public service developed from concern and sympathy for people in need of medical care, most specifically those with the least access. I further recognize the importance such compassion plays in effective communication between doctors and their patients. It was my childhood doctor’s ability to convey understanding and elicit trust that inspired my initial interest in the medical field. He combined calm and compassion with medical expertise in a thorough form of healing that I grew to expect, but have infrequently witnessed in poor communities. As I strive to bring better health care to underserved populations, I hope to do so with the same personal care and attention that comforted me in my youth. 8 Sample Essay 4 Too young to volunteer in a hospital yet too old for summer camp, I was determined not to idle away my first summer as a high school student. Undaunted and striving to help my community, I inquired about our local nursing home. My grandmother refused to enter the brown building with me, unable to interact with residents who were ailing and terminally ill. With persistence, I toured the facility with my father and decided to volunteer. The residents who were so debilitated that they would never leave the care of the nursing home really moved me. It was amazing how the support of the medical staff and family members created an environment that allowed residents to live an enjoyable life. I will never forget one resident in his early thirties who was paralyzed from the waist down, unable to live as most young adults. I would run into him on the elevator almost daily. My encouraging words and energy as a young person often brightened his day, and in return made me feel very joyful to serve. It was quite extraordinary to know that such a small gesture could positively impact someone’s life. From reading stories to assisting the professional staff with exercise routines for the residents, the experiences I had there were life-changing. It was then that I realized that my life would be most fulfilled working directly to improve the lives of others as it relates to medicine. With a strong interest in clinical medicine, I continued my studies at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County (UMBC) as a biology major and a Meyerhoff scholar. I embarked on several projects within the disciplines of immunology, cell biology, genetics, and vascular biology. These research projects gave me an indescribable experience as a participant in the discovery process and newfound appreciation for biomedical research. I was ready to work in the hospital and wondered how various scientific discoveries were being used in medicine. To answer this question and gain first hand experience of life inside a busy hospital, I began volunteering in the shock trauma resuscitation unit at the University of Maryland Medical Center (UMMC) in Baltimore. On my first day as a volunteer, I was a bit nervous, unsure of what to expect. However, once I suited up and walked into the shock trauma room, I knew medicine was the profession I was meant to pursue. Through my work, I witnessed the 9 medical staff working tirelessly to stabilize and care for patients who had experienced car accidents, stabbings, and other forms of trauma. I will never forget walking into the shock trauma room to find a crying mother and grandmother as they saw their son and daughter severely injured from a car accident. As I looked into the next unit, there was a middle-aged woman who was recovering from a stab wound. Walking away from her unit, I could hear her call “Miss….Miss, can you help me?” I didn’t know what she wanted, but I quickly turned to talk with her. She wanted her food heated and the nurse’s assistance. Although I could not physically interact with her, I felt like a part of the medical team---working to ease suffering and serve those in pain. The most striking incident occurred one Saturday morning when I walked into the resuscitation unit and saw a pool of blood surrounding the rolling bed of one patient. The doctors and nurses tried everything possible to save his life. However, they were unsuccessful and he died. I watched the reactions of the staff as they silently covered his body and rolled it away. It was then that I realized that one day I would be in a position to save someone’s life. I immediately thought about the family of the deceased patient. Most importantly, I understood the important role that I must be prepared for in helping families deal with such a life tragedy. As I was walking back to the locker room, I started to reflect on the joy I got from volunteering in the hospital and mentoring community kids, combined with my passion for science. I knew at that moment that I would love working as a physician who could not only heal and alleviate pain, but who can educate and innovate. The opportunity to change even a fraction of the lives of those in a city or underserved country is quite amazing. With the untimely death of various community members due to the advanced stages of cancer and the higher incidence of human immunodeficiency virus infection in minority women, I am inspired to join the struggle against deadly diseases and sickness. As I continue to strive for more, I can remember a quote by author Anna Eleanor Roosevelt: “When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.” I not only want to treat patients in the clinical setting, but am driven to improve the treatment and diagnosis of life-altering diseases through public health research. Without reservation, this will be my contribution. 10 Sample Essay 5 The litter bearers burst through the triage area doors from the dusty Afghanistan night carrying three soldiers injured in an IED blast. The tent that housed the trauma bay hummed intensely yet somberly as the medical staff began evaluating the casualties. My trauma shears ripped through the soldier’s charred uniform while I performed an initial assessment of the casualty with the attending physician. Exposing the injuries, I found that the soldier was badly burned due to the blast. He was unconscious, suffering from a compromised airway and his skin was peppered with shrapnel. I attached monitoring equipment, started a peripheral line and began cleaning the burns that blanched the majority of the soldier’s upper body. Through the synchronized chaos of surgeons directing treatment, anesthetists intubating and nurses administering initial medications, I understood the fluid relationship between the levels of medical hierarchy. I became part of an intricate network of communication, and the demanding process of saving a life. Nothing has been more rewarding than serving my fellow soldiers and the local Afghan community during a year long deployment overseas. Working in a combat support hospital under personalized mentorship of a cardiothoracic, orthopaedic and general surgeon gave me the opportunity to learn about long and short term care, processes of diagnosis and proactive medical treatment in trauma situations. After serving in a combat zone I realized that a life is the most magnificent and powerful force in existence. It compels us to bridge language and cultural barriers, and it is the common denominator amongst all human beings. As a physician, my priority is the preservation of that which is most precious to us all. The impetus for pursing a career as a physician began during my involvement in the Minority Medical Education Program (MMEP) in the summer of 2001 at Yale University, where I participated in a rigorous eight week program that mirrored the experience of a first year medical student. The curriculum focused on writing and communication skills, medical ethics and core science knowledge. Additionally, the program encouraged team building, small group discussions about current medical developments and molding the future of healthcare. I received close mentorship from first through fourth year Yale medical students during the MMEP, as well as opportunities to shadow physicians in the New Haven Hospital emergency room, 11 oncology ward and cardiology department. The MMEP shaped my focus as a young student aspiring to inherit the future of medicine, and provided me with realistic expectations for my life long pursuit of medical knowledge. During the MMEP I found joy in the practical application of my undergraduate studies, as well as an appreciation for the dynamicity of my forthcoming medical education. The following summer I participated in the Infectious Diseases Undergraduate Research Program at the University of Iowa. Over an eight week period I studied trends of nosocomial versus community acquired Methicillin resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MSRA) infections at 140 statewide, long term care facilities. I used pulse field gel electrophoresis to categorize and group different strains of MSRA taken from patients at the different facilities and track patterns of prevalence. The summer long project added perspective to the obligations and responsibilities of being a physician. At the culmination of the eight weeks I understood the importance of medical research and the interdependency between the laboratory and clinical realms. I realized that it is critical to be immersed in medical literature and to foster an atmosphere that encourages aggressive medical research. I also learned that the term “medical community” signifies a constant discourse between the many facets of medicine. The commission of every physician is to juxtapose ideas, plans and research with the unified goal of improving the quality of life. Lastly, when I think of the role of a physician I am reminded of a quote by Robert Browning that states, “But a man’s reach should exceed his grasp.” The face of healthcare is constantly changing. The medical field needs professionals with imagination and vision. I will fill that necessity and I will provide the same quality of care that I desire to receive. It is my dream to serve humanity. 12 Sample Essay 6 I energetically clap my hands as we chant in unison, "Ooh, I feel so good, like, I knew I would... Ooh, I feel SO GOOD!" This has been our weekly ritual for the last three years: me in a circle of women prisoners at the Rhode Island Correctional Facility, all of us yelling at the top of our lungs while a Corrections Officer stands outside the door. As our chants reverberate off the empty walls, Cherry, a pregnant inmate who has been in this facility most of her adult life, takes the lead and we echo her moves. When I "go inside" I forget where I am; the women are eager to clip pictures for a collage, learn West African dance steps that I myself perform at Brown, or write poems on romance or motherhood. Enclosed by locks and patrolled by guards, I help inmates find a way to escape through artistic expression; their enthusiasm affirms the importance of my role as a facilitator of art and writing workshops with SPACE, Space in Prisons for Arts and Creative Expression. I, in turn, am humbled by the poems and artwork the women produce as the workshops provide a creative outlet to assert their unique stories. Sitting alone with forty unexamined boxes in the Brown University archives, I was reminded of my experiences with the SPACE program, and I began to appreciate the importance of having a medium for relaying untold stories. While researching the offpraised fifty-year-old cooperative between Brown University and Tougaloo College, a historically Black private school located in rural Mississippi, I examined the past through narrative, and I unearthed personal accounts outlining a history that had long been forgotten. One day, I found a letter with "To be read and destroyed" scribbled in the margin. The letter outlined Brown's role in the forced resignation of Tougaloo's president in 1964 for his support of the politically minded students at Tougaloo, who organized and led numerous demonstrations throughout Mississippi at the height of the Civil Rights Movement in America. Newspaper clippings detailed community outrage at the firing, while hand-written flyers rallied student groups to oppose the Brown-Tougaloo relationship through demonstrations. The research took me to the tiny Tougaloo archives and back to Brown to conduct oral history interviews. The work was instrumental in providing Brown-Tougaloo exchange participants the opportunity to challenge misconceptions of their experiences; the documents we collected are now available on a website about the Brown-Tougaloo relationship and the events of the Civil Rights movement. 13 : My visions for eliciting personal narrative are embodied in my approaches to healthcare. For four years, I conducted biomedical research on the underlying reasons for increased incidence and mortality rates of prostate cancer in African-American men; this first taught me the importance of evaluating economic, social, and cultural histories for the insight they offer in examining health. While personal narrative offers patients distinct voices for their stories, in serving the needs of the people, physicians are afforded the unique opportunity to mediate and then to validate those narratives, bridging personal stories with physical observations. This fusion of the social and corporeal has been reiterated in my experiences as a student conducting clinical health research both domestically and abroad I shrug, wiping the perspiration off the side of my face onto my sleeve. Our team has been working outside for almost three hours measuring fasting glucose levels, taking blood pressures, and calculating Body Mass Indexes for a rural family in modernizing Samoa. For many I will counsel this summer, obesity, diabetes, and hypertension will be linked to perceived social pressures to maintain material lifestyles exceeding individual financial means. The glucose meter beeps abruptly; I lean over the table to see the reading, while an old woman sits across from me tending her bleeding finger. "La'i mai suka": "You do not have diabetes," I announce, checking the "normal" box on her information sheet. One of the Samoan field assistants translates for me as I explain the importance of exercise and healthy eating, listing traditional Samoan foods as better options to canned spaghetti sandwiches. She nods, understanding. The activities I pursued as an undergraduate were chosen not for utility to some future plan; instead, my interests in a wide range of human activity helped me to discover the significance of bridging everyday peoples' narratives and their health needs. Further, eliciting the voices of others helped me to realize why I am so compelled to pursue medicine. Each experience has taught me the importance of real communication in healthcare: paying close attention to how people feel and the meaning of what they say. I am enriched by the individuals I have encountered; I marvel at their unique stories, and I appreciate how each person is validated and empowered in exchange for sharing his/her history. Our interactions sit at the heart of humanistic sensibilities to healthcare; I am determined to become a physician, where I can help to relay stories that otherwise might remain untold. 14 Sample Essay 7 Sweat profusely ran down his face and dizziness clouded his world. Though he was not feeling well, he ignored these signs and the repetitive, “Daddy, are you okay?” for the fear that he would display any sign of weakness in front of his children. After several hours of denial, his body gave the final warning that all was not well and the man collapsed in a pool of vomit. That man was my father and I watched as he too weak to stand and vomit on his mouth and clothes, was transported to the nearest medical center with the help of my sister and grandfather. After numerous CAT scans and other tests, we learned that my father suffered a minor stroke. Though he suffered a stroke the day before, my father, against the doctor’s advice, went to work the next day to ensure that his condition was not a financial burden on our family. Seeing my father suffer many complications from diabetes and hypertension, I strove to learn more about these diseases by reading medical literature to see how they could be controlled and prevented. However, watching my father sacrifice his health for financial reasons had a lasting impression on my motivation in medical care. My father was diagnosed with diabetes and hypertension when I was ten years old. His lack of treatment worsened his diabetic condition and my sophomore year in college, he was put on insulin. To this day, I am convinced that if we could have afforded adequate health care my father would have not sacrificed his health and thus he would not have suffered many complications. My primary interest in hypertension and diabetes is personally driven. For two summers I worked in Dr. Yan Huang’s lab where I conducted two independent research projects on the correlation between diabetes and atherosclerosis. One of my projects was concerned with controlling the regulation of connective tissue growth factor (CTGF) expression in vascular smooth muscles cells by thiazolidinediones (TZDs). In this project we hypothesized that the diabetic class of drugs TZDs would reduce CTGF expression in vascular smooth muscle cells, which would in turn reduce atherogenesis. We did an in vitro study and were able to determine that TZDS did reduce CTGF expression in vascular smooth muscle cells. My research for that summer was recently accepted for publication in the journal Atherosclerosis. I saw the importance of biomedical research in clinical care. In addition, my project has taught me about the effective treatments for diabetes and I learned about the seriousness of my father’s disease. However, from reading medical literature and 15 personal experience, I learned about the health disparities that existed among minority groups as well as those of lower socioeconomic class. This information further reinforced my determination to pursue medicine to counter these disparities. As a serious student, I felt that I should contribute equal time to volunteer work. I participated in an alternative spring break project in Logan, West Virginia through the Premedical Organization for Minority Students (POMS) in which we visited the underserved area of Logan, West Virginia and were able to get first-hand clinical experience. From this experience, I obtained skills in taking blood pressure, blood glucose levels, and urinalysis and used these skills while visiting senior citizens residences. Through my interaction with the seniors, I realized that communication and trust is vital for a healthy patient-physician relationship. In addition to doing health related activities, I was able to talk to students from disadvantage backgrounds on the importance of getting a postsecondary education. My goal in doing this was to give back to a community similar to my own because my environment gave me the right foundation to become a strong, intelligent individual. However, the most rewarding part of the trip was sharing with the local high school students my life story and how I found motivation in my disadvantage situation and used it to excel. I believe that it is important for them to see someone like themselves, so that they may be inspired to succeed as well. By far, my most rewarding community service has been with the College after School Team (C.A.S.T), which is a program that provides free tutoring and mentorship to disadvantaged, inner-city high school students that are at risk. My duties included tutoring, during activities with the students, preparing students for the route to college by working with them on standardized tests and college applications. I consider this to be the one of the most rewarding community service that I have become involved with because I am able to see a progress in students and watch them succeed. After seeing firsthand the waste in health due to the lack of health care in my community and family and the health disparities that exist among minorities and those of the lower economic rungs of society, I am aware of the need for physicians in medically underserved areas. As a potential physician, I wish to eliminate health disparities that exist among minorities and lower income individuals by making health care available to those who would not otherwise have access to it. Medical school would provide me with the skills needed to counter the health disparities that exist domestically and globally by providing experience in such areas. 16 Sample Essay 8 A little boy in a rural town in Mozambique is competing with 100,000 patients for the attention of the only three doctors available to him. Meanwhile, in Nicaragua a mother is torn between spending money to put food on the table or tending to her son's illness as they survive on only one dollar a day. The struggle continues as a black mother mourns the loss of her infant daughter because the infant mortality rate amongst the AfricanAmerican community is twice that of any other ethnic group in America. With the world becoming increasingly more connected, we cannot continue to detach ourselves from these issues. I have always felt attached to and compelled by the problems of the world, therefore these stories of disparities and inequalities have always distressed me. In fact, it was these stories that urged me to pursue sociology as a major. Focusing on international social change, I have learned many of the extreme social issues affecting the world today. These issues have inspired me to want to be in the forefront of combating these problems with the best of my capabilities. Those capabilities and opportunities for me lie in the field of medicine. I have wanted to be a doctor from the time I was a child and as I excelled in the sciences throughout my education, that interest developed even more. The University of Michigan provided many outlets for students to gain medical experience and I took advantage of many opportunities there, two of them being my job as a nurse assistant and my Distraction Osteogenesis research. Working as a nurse assistant in the hemodialysis unit for over a year, allowed me to develop health care professional- to- patient relationships and it allowed me to see the doctors and nurses in their working environment. Whereas my research, which investigates the effects of radiation on bone healing, involves surgical procedures in which I assist in and require me to do post-operative rounds. The rounds are performed twice daily during which we give medications to the rats, feed them, identify and care for infections, take daily notes on their overall health, and distract their mandible. This experience gives me a glimpse of how medical student 17 rotations are conducted on the wards. Opportunities like these and many others continue to nurture the spark for medicine that was ignited when I was young. Growing up, my idea of medicine was confined to dealing with patients in a doctor’s office. However, majoring in sociology has allowed me to see that I want to practice a kind of medicine that extends beyond the walls of an office and into the community where disparities in infant mortality have to be addressed through research and education. Furthermore, my travels to Nigeria in December 2004 and my recent trip to China in May 2007, have shown me that medicine can transcends the borders of the United States to places like Nicaragua where I can organize mission trips to provide free, quality health care for those that would never be able to afford it. Achieving quality health is a product of both good physiological maintenance and a healthy living environment. My sociology background has taught me that people not only require their health needs to be addressed but also other life issues as well. I have learned that addressing both of these factors can positively impact a person's general health. My application of this knowledge is apparent through my work on campus in different organizations, especially as the health committee chair of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) - UM Chapter. As health committee chair, I partnered with several professional health school organizations to put together a health fair. There, we provided free screenings for students and people in the Ann Arbor community for cholesterol, blood pressure, body mass index, glaucoma, and diabetes as well as counseling regarding other barriers they felt were preventing them from attaining good health. What I can do as a doctor in the future is build upon the efforts I demonstrated in college by merging the principles I will learn in medicine with those that I have learned in sociology. My mission will be to change lives. I am not a superhero, I am but one person who believes that the needs of the less fortunate should not be overlooked. As long as I am equipped with the armor of medicine, I can help see to the improvement of some of the disparities that prevent people from receiving optimum health care in the United States and abroad. So I hope that I will be given the opportunity to affect the life of that little boy in Mozambique, as well as many medically disadvantaged across the globe.

[perriewinklenerdie]

I wish... (Ethan Ramsey x MC) part 4

Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC

 Authors note: There we go! Part 4, a little sooner than I expected. I did pass my chemistry after all :D My hands were tingling to write, I just had to get it off my chest and I’m glad I did. Hope you like it. As always, English is not my first language, my MC is Clarissa “Claire” Herondale. Enjoy! <3

 Word count:1828

 Chapter 4: Salvation

 Admitting his feelings to himself made his life a little easier. He was able to talk to Naveen more openly, his attitude slowly coming back to the previous state, he still avoided his coworkers as often as he could but he wasn’t as grumpy as he was before his talk with the old doctor.

During the day he was surviving. He couldn’t call it living anymore. Every time he looked around he was painfully reminded of her absence. He pushed those thoughts as far back in his mind as he could while he was in the hospital. But once he was back home, it all came back with double force. He looked at the couch and he could almost see her, sitting there, working on Naveen’s case, a cup of coffee in her hand, hair tied at the top of her head, her neck exposed, sweater loose on her shoulders.

The hardest part started the second he closed his eyes. He saw her in his dreams. For the past month he was dreaming of her. At first there were those awful ones, where he couldn’t reach her. Around week four they changed. He could see her, she would come closer to stand next to him, raise her hand to his cheek and lean in to kiss him. His arms around her, hugging her like his life depended on it.

She felt so real. Every morning, when he woke up and had to go, was a torture but he knew when he went to sleep at night she would be waiting there, ready to soothe his pain, even if only for a short moment.

Harper refused to talk to him about the incident in her office. It seemed like she finally saw what was happening to him. She saw his emotions, his pain, his love for the brilliant young doctor and decided to give them all a little more time. She knew it was unusual and strange, but she envied them both. She envied Ethan for finding someone to take down his walls and she envied Clarissa for capturing his heart, something she wasn’t able to do. She felt sorry for him. She saw his walls fall down and she saw them being put up, twice as high and twice as strong in a second. She didn’t know what made his walls disappear at first, now that she knew… she wished she could do something more. For both of them.

 Ethan put all of his energy into helping his patients. He spend his shifts taking on case after case and after he was done, he would go to Naveen and run tests, talk to him, consult him.

His mentor saw the pain in his eyes. He saw the barrier he put between himself and the outside world. He was so proud of him for letting someone in, he always wanted for him to find someone who could challenge him and who could complete him, heal his broken soul. He did find her, after all this time. He just did it a little too late.

The days were long, getting longer with each day that passed. He started taking long walks in the park, along the beach. All of the places they visited together after a long shift in the hospital. A memory flooded his mind.

They were walking, their hands close but not quite touching. He looked at her. She was wearing a green dress, the color complementing her hair perfectly. A sweater was thrown over her shoulders, her hair braided with a few strands dangling around her face.

“I never thought my musical background would come in handy while being a doctor.” She laughed, looking ahead.

“Oh, I was meaning to ask you about it. What exactly happened that made you burst out into a song?” he smiled warmly at her. Her eyes met his, a sparkle in them.

“Rose refused to take his medicine unless he heard a song from The Little Mermaid. That’s how it started. I couldn’t exactly just play it to her, I didn’t have my phone on me or any other device for that matter. So I improvised.”

“It clearly worked. She was amazed. And so were other kids. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had to do this more often from now on.”

“I wouldn’t mind. It’s been a while I could use my voice in other way than just talking.”

They kept on walking, a comfortable silence falling between them. Sometime in between their conversation their hands brushed against one another. His fingers reached out towards hers, linking them together. She squeezed his hand softly, a smile growing on her face. She was the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. A feeling of warmth spread in his chest. He knew he wanted her in his life.

His thoughts were interrupted by his pager, a beeping noise making him come back to reality. He sighted and went out the door of his office to check on his patients.

Detective Cordato has contacted him a few times since their last encounter, asking various questions, but also keeping him posted on the family of Lucy Brown. This little girl, this poor little thing that probably has never done anything wrong. It was so unfair that she had to pay for the mistakes of a delusional man who couldn’t take no for an answer.

It was unfair that both her and Claire had to pay.

He thought about the circumstances that led to him losing her. At first he was angry. Angry that she didn’t save herself. But that feeling quickly passed, replaced by deep sorrow. Because he knew he would have done the same thing.

They were both so devoted to their work, to the people they swore to help. He knew that she just couldn’t have done anything else. If she left that girl in there and something had happened to her, she would not have been able to live with herself. The guilt would have destroyed her. He knew that for a fact.

That night he went to the rose garden. She took him there two months ago. It was their day off, first one since she found out about Naveen. He was planning on spending the day on research and sleep when he got a text from her, asking what he was up to. She convinced him pretty quickly to leave his plans behind, drop everything and follow her. Looking back at himself from that time, he cannot believe that he didn’t figure out sooner that what he was feeling for her was love. They sat down under one of the trees, eating cookies she made and brought with her. They were perfect, very much like her. Conversation flew between them freely, both of them relaxed. At one point she leaned back against him, her back flush to his bended leg, resulting in them sitting close together.

He told her about her his internship, how Naveen took him under his wing, helped him become the best doctor he could be. She told him about her family, her home town and her experience with musical theatre. He was amazed by the extent of her interest, amazed by how many things she could do.

They ended the day with a coffee. Sat down in his favorite café, he ordered them their usual drinks and got her a piece of chocolate cake.

“I promise you, it’s the best chocolate cake you’re ever going to eat.” Ethan passed her the plate, the corners of his mouth rising softly.

“If you say so…�� she dug her fork into the cake and took a bite. The rich flavor took over her senses, perfectly moist, the filling creamy and smooth. She closed her eyes, her face melting with delight, moaning in pleasure.

“You weren’t kidding. That’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten.” She smiled at him, taking in his amused expression. She noticed he kept on straying his gaze from her towards the cake throughout their conversation.

“Here. Have some.” She took a chunk of cake on her fork and extended it towards him, attempting to feed him.

“No, that’s your cake.” He shook his head even though his mind was screaming, her gesture melting his from the inside.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I know you have a sweet tooth. And besides, you keep on looking at it like it’s the most precious thing in the room.”

“Not the most precious thing in this room.” He looked at her, their gazes locking, eyes never straying from one another’s.

“Stop denying. You want it. Take it.” She extended her hand towards him again. This time he did eat the cake she gave him, smiling as he tasted the sweet flavor.

“Thank you.” he put his hand on hers, squeezing it gently.

“Remember to treat yourself sometimes, yeah?” she squeezed back, looking into his eyes.

Memories of her were all that he had left. It was his very own and very private medicine. Helped him cope throughout the day.

 The next day, just as his shift was coming to the end, he got paged by Harper, an emergency meeting in the waiting room by the entrance.

He got there, sat down in a chair, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, providing some support for his tired body.

He saw detective Cordato enter the room along with a few other officers and Harper. He stood in the middle of the room and spoke up.

“We let out the information to the news at noon but I imagine you didn’t have a chance to find out just yet. I came by to tell you personally. We caught the bastard. Louis Dean has been found and is now being charged with attempted kidnapping, arson and murder of two. You can rest assured he won’t get away with everything he did.” Detective said, his voice grim but confident.

Ethan took a deep breath, hiding his face in his hands. He felt some relief, but not as much as he thought he would. He thought he would find peace one they found him. But he didn’t. He wasn’t sure he ever would.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he missed the front door opening and shocked gasps from his colleagues. It was as if he was detached from his surroundings. Only when other doctors started running did he see that something was wrong.

“Get two rooms ready, we need to examine them both.”

“They both have been through so much.”

“They were so brave.”

“How did she manage to keep them both hidden and alive for so long?”

“Herondale, you are one hell of a strong woman.”

At the last statement his head shot up, looking around frantically, searching.

There.

He felt as though a bag of stones was lifted from his chest, he was able to breathe again.

There she was. Standing there, looking at him.

Clarissa Herondale was alive.

  Tag list:  @paleweasels, @lilyofchoices, @hopelessromantic1352, @valiantlychaoticbarbarian, @radlovedreamer, @usuallyamazinglyaverage, @palestazure, @galaxiia-quean, @cordoniaqueensworld, @universallypizzataco, @princess-geek, @faithhasnowords, @fangirlingmum, @claudevonstruke, @punk_kaomoji, @mightyfangirlofthefandoms, @noneotherthanthejoker

If you want me to tag you, let me know and if I forgot to tag anyone, tell me so I can correct that!  :D

[cancerbiophd]

FAQ regarding undergrad research

I thought I’d put this together because I remember when I was an undergrad looking for research opportunities I literally had no idea what to do or expect! So I hope this will help :)

Disclaimer: Some of these answers may only apply to undergraduate research opportunities in the life sciences in US universities that conduct research. 

How can I find a list of potential principal investigators (PIs)? 

You can search the department or research facility’s website for a list of research topics and PIs. Oftentimes there will be a description of the research and/or PI, or even a link to their own lab webpage. 

Do the PIs have to be professors I’ve had classes with before?

Nope! There are lots of PIs who don’t teach undergraduate courses, but they still have their own labs. Unless specifically stated by the PI, being a student in one of their courses is not an automatic requirement. 

How do I get started contacting them?

Send an email. I have a template you can use here. If you don’t hear back within a week, feel free to send a follow-up email (by forwarding your original email so the info is still there). PIs are busy people, so it might take them a while!

What year in college can I start looking for research opportunities?

As early as freshman year. Honestly, coming in with lab experience is not important for undergrad researchers; labs would rather have someone that can stick around for a long time. Training a freshman vs training a senior sometimes takes the same time (as lab techniques can be highly specialized that most college lab courses don’t cover), but a freshman is going to generate more data than a senior. In fact, many labs won’t take seniors for that reason, so start early!

But I’m a senior! What do I do?

Never fear, continue to contact labs! I would recommend focusing on PIs who know you and your work ethic (so a professor whose class you took and did well in), as they’re more likely to make an exception. I didn’t start looking for undergrad research until my senior year too, but a professor I took many classes with and did great in knew me well enough to let me join the lab, even though it was literally for just 1 semester. So it’s not impossible! 

What factors into a PI accepting/not accepting an undergraduate researcher?

A lot: funding, space, # of projects, availability of mentors, to name a few. Therefore, if a PI can not accept you this semester, don’t feel too down! There are many factors that come into play, and so much is out of your control. 

I got an interview with a potential PI! Any tips on what to expect/how to prepare?

Congrats! Check out this post for helpful pointers!

I got the position!! Any tips on how to make the most out of my undergrad research experience?

Double congrats! And sure thing: Check out this post. 

Can I get paid or earn course credit for my time in the lab?

Sure! It depends on the PI, but some PIs may pay undergrads over the summer, or hire them as part-time techs. There are also undergrad fellowships/scholarships that can apply to lab research, as well as work study opportunities. You can also earn course credit for your time (just check with your advisor). Usually it’s 2 hours per credit, up to 3 or 4 credits per semester. These are things you can discuss with your PI during your interview.

How many hours/week am I expected to be in lab?

As many as you can give. Ideally, a continuous chunk of time is more useful; you’ll get more done by being in the lab for 2 hours straight than 30 min here and 30 min there. I personally like undergrads to be here at least 2 hours at a time for a minimum of 4 hours/week. If you want your own project, aim for 10 hours/week. But of course this is all dependent on your lab, the type of research you’re doing, and your own schedule. 

Will I be given an independent project right off the bat?

You will most likely be taken under the wing of someone in the lab (like a grad student, lab tech, postdoc, even another undergrad) to first help with their project and to learn research techniques. So don’t worry, you’ll be guided every step of the way! A lab will never just “throw you to the wolves” as that’s not beneficial for anyone. Then after you have a good amount of training under your belt, you and your mentor will see what kinds of independent projects you can take on (and many factors go into that, including how many hours/week you can be in the lab, etc). 

What do I do if after a few weeks, I decide I really don’t want to work in a particular lab anymore?

Please don’t hurt yourself by staying in a situation you don’t feel comfortable in (either mentally, emotionally, or physically). Meet with the PI privately and explain that you don’t feel like the lab is a good fit for you, and you would like to leave (maybe give a week’s notice so you can wrap some stuff up). You won’t hurt any feelings or burn any bridges if the exit is done politely. You have every right to do what’s best for you!

Will I have opportunities to be an author on a paper or give poster presentations at meetings?

Absolutely. It depends on your lab and project, but undergrads definitely have opportunities to be listed as a contributing author if their work is in the paper, and there are lots of poster sessions for students (your university may host a few themselves!). Chat with your mentor about these opportunities if this is something you’re interested in. 

How much research experience (including undergrad research) do employers/internships/graduate schools look for in a competitive candidate? 

At least 1 year. 

Are undergraduate research opportunities only limited to my university?

Nope! You can find opportunities (both paid and volunteer) at other research institutions in your area. Some may be specialized programs for undergrads that involve a competitive application process (and perhaps a great stipend too!)

I still have some questions regarding undergrad research. Is it ok if I contact you?

Absolutely!!! My inbox and private messaging are always open! 

[saintmachina]

What were some parts of seminary that you liked, versus ones you didn’t? I’m thinking about my future (read: freaking tf out) and I know I want to study theology in some way, I’m just not sure how exactly, ya feel?

Thanks for the question! Your mileage may vary: I went to a Princeton Seminary, which I would categorize as a theologically/politically moderate, academic, traditional Western-style seminary. Seminary culture varies WIDELY from school to school, so keep that in mind when choosing between, say, a Princeton, which may be a more insular academic community focused on research and internships, and a Fuller, which may be a larger community more integrated with the surrounding city concerned with practical training for missionaries, worship leaders, and Christian artists. This is NOT to say that you can’t learn to be an awesome worship leader at PTS (I know them) or an awesome theology professor at Fuller, but make sure you shop around for your particular cultural, career, and academic needs. 

Things I Loved

The residential experience. Nearly all students at PTS live in beautiful on-campus housing or in apartments specialized for families with children just a few miles away. Living a few minutes walk from the library, my professors’ offices, and the chapel was amazing, especially since students at PTS tend to be sociable with the others who live on their hall. I would often spend my evenings studying with friends in their dorm rooms, and since everyone on campus at any given time tends to eat their meals in the cafeteria together, I formed a strong clique of ten or so people who unpacked my readings + spiritual crises with me at the lunch table. 

Spiritual friendships. I was able to make deeper friends than ever before in my life from a variety of denominational and theological backgrounds. We saw each other through vocational shifts, prayed with each other, administered the Eucharist to each other, celebrated birthdays and ordinations together, and stayed up late into the night when anyone needed us. I would literally drive across the country to bail any of them out of jail at a moment’s notice.  

The emotional crucible. Seminary is bootcamp for the soul. You get exposed to so many new ideas and theologies, learn how to preach, sit at people’s bedside while they’re sick, pull together responses for every new act of violence in the news, and most of the time, are thrust into a leadership role at a church that is either going under and begging you to save them or so large and thriving that it nearly swallows you whole. Nothing will grow you up like that. I have an insane amount of poise now dealing with other people’s crises, rage, or grief, and that wasn’t the case when I matriculated. Pastors are all making it up as we go along, but seminary gives at least the appearance of sage wisdom under pressure. 

Academic engagement with theology. This one seems obvious, but after spending four years in a secular liberal arts university that was tolerant of my enduring interest in religion but didn’t offer me an outlet for it, seminary was balm in Gilead. I loved being able to dig into what I really cared about directly, be that metaphysics, church history, or the Bible as literature, and I thrived being surrounded by other people who cared about it and did the reading and wanted to explore together. 

Freedom to research what I wanted. There are plenty of demanding intro-level courses that throw you to the ground and kick you while you cry into your notecards (New Testament, what’s good) but it was fun being on that ride with the rest of your small cohort, and upper-level classes offered chances to research what you cared about. I got to present research on astrology in the book of Daniel, queer American Muslim communities, IVF treatments and theology in Ghana, overlap in myths about Odin and Jesus, and I did an independent research study linking the emergent church to the spike in Millennials re-discovering the Episcopal and Catholic churches.The library was stuffed to the brim with books I would kill for. What a treat.

The melting pot. PTS DEFINITELY has its ideological and admissions biases but they do work hard to create a diverse student body, and I was close with students from so many different counties, denominations, ethnicities, and political leanings, which was enriching beyond belief. It was one of the big reasons I chose a seminary degree. That said, not all schools skew diverse, and I was very specific about choosing a seminary that was explicitly affirming of women in ministry and the goodness and wholeness of LGBTQ+ folks, so I knew that I would be supported by general school policies. Getting that information up front is important. 

Access to university resources. This one is PTS specific, but I went to a independent seminary closely linked to and basically on the same campus as Princeton University (they were the same school back in the 1800s until an amicable split, but we’re still cozy). This meant that I had access to Princeton U libraries, free events, lectures, and religious life, and I was a member of the Episcopal Church at Princeton U for most of my time at seminary. People bribe admissions officials or work themselves to nervous breakdown to get access to the resources I had at my fingertips, and I don’t take that for granted. 

The aesthetic. If I’m gong to take tens of thousands dollars of loans out for graduate school you bet you’re ass I’m going to be sitting in American Hogwarts while I do it. 

Things I Did Not

The cliquishness. This one is a double-edged sword, because I thrived on having a clique of high-functioning. highly-educated pastors who ate at the same lunch table and gossiped about the same people and showed up to campus parties in a gang, but that’s not always healthy. People tended to fragment off by denomination or where they fall on the liberal-conservative scale, and differences can fester that way. Students of color were often implicitly excluded from certain spaces through this behavior. Humans skew towards tribalism to begin with, but when you put super socially-oriented people with strong beliefs in one space where they have to live on top of each other and are looking for low-effort socializing after a long day in the trauma ward, confessional, or picket line, it gets worse. 

Imposter syndrome. Maybe it’s grad school in general that does this, but I spent most of my degree fighting off the feeling that I was dumb, lazy, not serious enough about my “calling” or my research, and probably a heretic. Part of my character growth came from learning not to give a fuck about what people who didn’t share my passions thought of them, and from realizing that I wasn’t on the ordination or PhD track like most of my peers, and that was okay. So I grew from this, but it stung like hell. I cried a lot.

No handholding. The professors at PTS were, by and large, old school, and they were busy as hell. While there was opportunities for office hours, most engagement with professors came in the performative form of “a question, well, more of a comment really” during lectures. Students, (mostly men, I’m not going to lie to you) scrambling for a good letter of rec for a PhD tended to monopolize whatever time professors had. I can think of exceptions (Ellen Charry was exceptional and made time for me in her home when I was struggling to unpack antisemitic theology) but it was a far cry from the literature department in my undergrad, where professors were accessible and knew me personally as mentors and friends. 

Caregiver burnout. This is my big one, and is the reason I’m still in recoup mode doing the office job thing instead of working in formal ministry. Everyone at my school was a pastor, hospital chaplain, activist, or social worker. We are the people who care so much, and who are constantly doing emotional labor for those around us with no time off and usually, poor personal boundaries. Working in a field where it is your job to hold everyone’s hurt and be the face of God to them while their life falls apart is….hard. It was not unusual for me to work ten hours at Penn on my feet in campus ministry, helping people sort through whether or not they wanted to report their sexual assault, holding mini-interventions about excessive drinking, and scrambling to re-schedule worship night after my volunteer went to the hospital after a suicide attempt, and then ride the train home while my phone blew up with news of a new mass shooting that I would have to help host a candlelight vigil for. You hold your parishioner’s hand while they die in hospice. You watch social services take your client’s children away. You stand still while someone screams at you for being too political in your sermon, or not political enough. You sit down to do the budget only to realize the beloved pastor who just retired had been embezzling. Typical Tuesday. 

A lot of the items on these lists are specific to my temperament and the culture at PTS, but by and large I would say it was an amazing experience well worth my time, effort, and money. I pushed myself academically beyond what I believed I was capable of, made the deepest friends of my life, found a home denomination, learned how to effectively care for others and myself, and was met by God in transformative ways again and again. Someday I may get that ordination or work for a ministry nonprofit again, but I have skills now that no one can take away from me, skills I use every day in some capacity. 

Good luck in your discernment process, and I pray you find yourself in exactly the place you need to be!

[xcenj]

Critical Reflection

Throughout the last eight weeks, the Fashion Promotion Year 2 class have been given the opportunity to revamp PXL Agency. The class was divided into five groups: Branding, Research and Development, Website and PR, Editorial and Events. For this project, I was a part of the Website and PR Team. As a collective, we decided to divide our team into two separate groups; Website and Social Media, whilst as a whole agreeing on all final outcomes.

My role within Pixel Agency was to help create and design the new Pixel website as well as reach out to influential creative industry players and produce content/story ideas for Instagram. I put myself forward for the website sub-team, as I had never made a website before and was eager to further my knowledge and skill range. The beginning of the project was very daunting, as time was limited despite our huge responsibility. After listening to informative guest speakers week after week, I have learned that confidence and persistence are key in all creative professions. Unfortunately, I regret not taking the opportunity to ask guest speakers more questions and seek further insights. On the flip side, I’m really happy that this module allowed the whole class to work together, as I have made new bonds with class members I didn’t speak to before. Overall, this experience has taught me time management, networking, how to build a portfolio, teamwork skills, and consistency.

Eager and ready to learn I attended a private tutorial with Amy Bruce, in order to understand the basics of Squarespace. During Amy’s private tutorial, I had the pleasure of meeting Cyrus, the web designer for Pixel’s website last year and quickly exchanged contact information in case my team had questions about Squarespace along the way. Before we could start designing the website, I suggested to my team leader Karolina that a new Google Drive for PXL be created. In our drive, we had a clear folder for class members to upload their work. Despite having this folder we constantly had to nag the class to upload their work. As a group, we would use the work to create collages for our social media feed. I imputed to the process by drawing storyboards four at a time of what each page of the website should look like. In order to keep every aspect of the website on brand, a member from branding would oversee the drawing plans and adjust if need be. These drawings provided a clear structure and plan for the team to follow. As a group, we wanted everyone’s headshot to be uniform and continuous. To achieve this we successfully organised a time effective shoot, unfortunately some members of the class were unable to attend and didn’t feature on the website. This is a real shame as we all worked so hard. I took lead on the projects page by picking and uploading the strongest work generated by the whole class to show off Pixel at its best. With the help of others in my group, we were able to link the projects back to the individuals about us page. For part of my own page on PXL, I decided to turn my marketing reports into GIFs in order to show continuity within the design. As Pixel is a communications agency establishing connections between tastemakers, it was crucial for the PXL website to have a blog section. The blog section was available for all class members to feature. I wrote a blog post to inform creatives of the latest exhibitions around London with a brief description of what work and installations were featured.

Throughout the whole process, I am very impressed with how much our group conversated within our WhatsApp group chat. However, at times I felt as if our group had no clear structure. If I could change one thing about the whole process it would be the black background on the website. I was very vocal on the fact that the black background doesn’t bring out the best in everyone’s work and can be too dark, gloomy and contrasting. Another improvement would have been for our the social media sub-team to post more engaging stories with advice on how to better your CV and how to get an internship as we had all just come back from placement. As a group, we discussed taking inspiration from Instagram pages like ‘Find Your Intern’.

Leading up to the event, I noticed that the Social Media sub-team hadn’t invited many followers, influencers or industry moguls. During the week leading up to the event, I took it upon myself to send an invite to as many VIPs as possible. To try and attract the general public, I created a free open event post on Eventbrite for more traction. As a group, we could have improved our PR strategy and branched outside of just Instagram. I did suggest that we take advantage of Ravensbourne’s facility to use Fashion Monitor and email some press offices but received very low morale from my group that they wouldn’t come to our event. That being said some of the PXL invites I sent to Dazed via Instagram did receive positive feedback and a few RSVPs.

At the event, I wanted to be as hands-on as possible. During the first hour, I had learned that the flyers for the event hadn’t been delivered on time and weren’t going to arrive. However, I did not let the terrible news deflate my energy, I grabbed PXL stickers and headed to the streets to get the public through the doors. During my allocated leaflet time, I made my way to Shoreditch in attempts to draw in an artsy crowd, stopping everyone on my way. At the event, I met a lovely lady called Raquel Maillo who explained the importance of not giving up. I now feel better knowing that interning in several different places will eventually pay off. Nonetheless, I’m disappointed in myself as I should of networked with more industry figures.

At the start of this module, I began updating the aesthetics of my Curriculum Vitae and Cover Letter. Both are now sleek and modern, reflecting my style of design. As LinkedIn is such a vital tool to communicate with employers in regards to internships, it must be regularly updated (LinkedIn profile https://www.linkedin.com/in/cameo-johansson-706716151/). I constantly message people with job titles I would like to pursue to question what route they took to get where they are. Throughout this project, I have developed my online profile through the means of a visual blog. I use the blog as a sketchbook to post visuals that influence me. I have noticed an increase in my Tumblr followings and reposts, which inspires me to urge on. Offline I have made myself available to help out at industry events where possible, in particular a GQ styling masterclass workshop. After the masterclass, I networked with creatives such as Angelo Mitakos at London Fashion Week Men’s discussing the possible opportunities of interning. I would love to secure a placement over the summer with a company that will further push me out of my comfort zone.

I am still trying to discover my niche is in the fashion industry. As much as I loved learning how to create a website, I can happily say it’s not a career path I wish to further pursue. I believe that my personality and skill set would work better within a communication role for example Events or Editorial. Therefore if PXL was a real communications agency, I would be happy with a salary of 21k per year as an Events Co-ordinator.

Numerous triumphs left this experience: the Branding team executed a strong identity and dossier from the very beginning, the Research and Development team worked very hard to produce an informative on brand research pack all about Generation Z and X, the Website and PR team created a fabulous aesthetic website and Instagram, the Editorial team created unique campaign imagery for content and promotional banners and lastly the Events team pulled off a venue, a bar and two sponsors (MiiRO icecream and Press Juice London) Overall, I think the class has done a spectacular job, working to include everyone’s different aesthetic can be really challenging. However, in the end, we pulled off an amazing packed industry event with a website launch and clear synergy between all assets in the short space of time.

[carlajarman2-blog]

Utilizing Behavioral Type Interview Questions

The Honest to Goodness Truth on Behavioral Type Interview Questions if you're only beginning your work search, or when you haven't had a job interview at some time now would be an excellent time to start your interview prep. The method is preparation and ericsundwall then a little more preparation. Landing a job interview may seem as a battle in itself. Behavioral Type Interview Questions: No Longer a Mystery Give me an example of a time when you needed to do a great deal of things. Give me an instance of a time once you worked on your own. If you've got a limited turn around 18, you won't get pressed for a while. It's also advisable to be somewhat specific using dates times, names and whatever else that is appropriate to acquire across your point. You do not want to be cocky, but you ought to be proud. Getting chosen to meet up with the organization in person feels validating, but it might also be frightening. Start by explaining what you would want to do in order to get ramped up. Once you struck your supervisor along with an problem was available to assist you, tell me. Also, in the event the problem provides an opportunity to display your white-board coding skills or to make schematic diagrams use this to your advantage. Give an instance of a situation where you dealt with an issue that you weren't able to solve. Prepare yourself for interview questions and to compose on creating questions which are connected to the selection standards of the candidate that is ideal, you need to concentrate. With just a little internet research you can easily think of a 100 or more great interview questions. Interview questions that are usual are incredibly open-ended, get one to describe experiences and may result in a choice of answers. The remedy will be posted within another matter. Any answer that is simple might be a red flag. During the interview, if you are not sure how to answer this question, ask clarification. At times you may be asked a type question but they are sometimes finessed. The interviewer may want to understand how you handled a circumstance, instead of what you might do later on. Your interviewer would like to get a sense of how you're likely to react to conflict. The interviewer will ask followup questions to obtain more info. It's important to keep in mind that you won't know until you're sitting at the interview room what type of interview will occur. The reference interview is very important to the achievement of this approach and is the middle of the reference transaction. The wrong candidate can be chosen for the occupation when candidate choice is solely based on a traditional interview. The interview, on the reverse side, focuses on open-ended queries which permit the prospect that you share what you believe the interviewer would love to hear since they ask for responses that are opinion-based. Because, at the decision of the day, you're searching for those who match into your culture that is present and will achieve results. If at all possible, go to get an illustration that shows off your team skills while also demonstrating strengths that are different. It is not possible to fabricate a fantastic example. Then choose the example you have got. Your relevant examples will be from the last year or so. It can be tough to come up with a very good example on the fly and much more complex to explain in a way that presents you concisely. You need to always examine the work description carefully to try and comprehend what teamwork will mean in every individual function. The benefits of getting ready for a interview goes the interview itself. For an entry-level position, it may be about the capability. Start searching to mention strengths which you demonstrated. You have to relate your adventures that are individual to each question. There is no need to go all of the way back to your first job unless it's relevant if you get a significant quantity of job experience. If you have limited (or no) work experience, attempt to concentrate on experience such as internships which are linked to the function available. Most occupations require that you get with several types of people. They ask that you work with humans. My current company would have to give me a promotion. The individual should have indicators to evaluate a program's success or failure.

[academiceve]

Guide for Studying Abroad

I thought it would be useful to write a guide about studying abroad answering frequently asked questions! I know that not everyone has the opportunity to take a semester off and study abroad but maybe if you’re about to embark on this journey or you’re thinking about studying abroad this post could be useful. 

FINDING A PROGRAM

The first step you need to take is to visit your university’s website and look at the study abroad opportunities your school offers. Look for a partner university list (other schools your university works with for international exchange, etc.). I would also advise you to make an appointment with your study abroad counsellor - a person who will help answer all of your questions, help you apply and make sure you’re doing ok while studying abroad by checking in with you from time to time. They’re a great resource by helping you pick the best programme, applying for scholarships and also connecting you with fellow students who have already studied abroad! 

APPLYING 

Applications are different from university to university; therefore, the requirements are different. Usually they will require you to fill out an application form about yourself (including your GPA), submit peer and academic recommendations and apply for scholarships. You will then go through a selection process during which both school will decide if you can study abroad. Once you’re accepted, you will have to continue the scholarship application process, as well as apply for classes (make sure you can receive credit for them!) and visas (if you need to), etc. 

SCHOLARSHIPS

Available scholarships are also different everywhere! Your university should have a list of scholarships that you can apply for in order to study abroad. Your study abroad university can also have scholarships. It really depends! That’s why I advise you to have a meeting with a study abroad counsellor before you begin your application process! Also please be aware that studying abroad is expensive; therefore, have a plan of how you will pay for this experience if you do not receive any scholarships!

PREPARING

If everything goes smoothly and you’re about to embark on this new experience research the country you will be visiting. Also research the university you will be studying abroad at (further). You should have already done your research while considering which programmes you should apply for; however, now look at customs, weather, the surrounding area you will be living in, so that you can pack well.

As for packing, please don’t over pack! You can always buy stuff that you will need once you’re there but I’d say the most important items besides your passport, plane ticket, bank cards and student id are a swimsuit, flip-flops (shower shoes) and workout clothes. I’d recommend bringing one dressier outfit for parties, etc. too. 

ARRIVAL

I’m assuming that up to this point everything went well for you! Arrange pick up from the airport and have a plan in place on how you’re going to get to campus/apartment where you will be staying for the next semester. I’d recommend arriving 1-2 days before orientation week. Usually universities will have preferred arrival dates and organise an orientation week for study abroad students (I’ve participated in one while in South Korea and organised 2 at my home university too!). I’m sure they will send you information about it!

STUDYING ABROAD

Please enjoy yourself and have fun! Be open to meeting different people, try to make new friendships, enjoy your new campus, travel, travel and travel some more! Attend different events on campus and maybe even join a club or two! This experience will push you to step out of your comfort zone and enjoy new things! 

Also, please don’t be that annoying person who focusses every single waking hour of their day on connecting with friends they have left back home. Yes, you will “miss out” on an entire semester at you university; however, your friends will be there once you return back home. Don’t exhaust yourself by trying to catch your friends back home because you now live in completely different time zones and enjoy where you are! There’s a quote that I really like by Jim Elliot - “Wherever you are be all there”. 

DEPARTURE

It’s sad to have to return back home. Hopefully, new experiences helped you learn and grow and change as a person, so I know how hard it is to have to say goodbye to your new friends! Personally, while studying abroad in South Korea I felt like I stepped out of my life back home and then once the semester was coming to an end I had to wake up and return to reality. It was hard because I have made wonderful friends and I didn’t know when I would see them next and also everything at home haven’t really changed, except for me. By the way, some of those scholarships that you received might ask you to write an essay about your experience, so you will also have to deal with that once you return 😊

MOVING ON

Once I returned back home and I had to start a new semester at my home university I immersed myself in my studies fully. I even found an internship I could do to keep myself busy. I also started this blog and Instagram account 😊 I would Skype and chat with my new friends and discuss how difficult it was for us all to return home, so take your time! Eventually, I was able to move past my study abroad experience and look forward to new adventures! I can look at photos from that period in my life and smile and although I miss some of my closest friends because we’re scattered around the world, I know that some of them I will be able to meet again! I also know that there are many more wonderful opportunities awaiting; therefore, I have to move forward! Eventually, you will get to that point too!

I hope you found this post useful. I’ve been meaning to write blog posts about my study abroad experience for the longest time; however, I will say that my decision to study abroad in South Korea was the highlight of my undergraduate degree! So please consider applying! 

If you would like to read more from me, click HERE to see other blog posts! You can also follow my studygram HERE for some inspiration! 

OTHER USEFUL LINKS:

The International Student Blog and their Study Abroad Guide

10 Benefits to Studying Abroad by the International Student Blog

The Abroad Guide Website

A Student Guide to Studying Abroad

[susanpallmannhitegd-blog]

Inquiry 1 -”DoDate”

DoDate

The concept put simply is a mobile game that turns the monsters of our life into much more approachable visual monsters for our game characters to fight, equipping them for battle along the way with encouragement and good preparation practices. The target audience is late high school and college age, but it is hoped that it is still usable for people outside of that age range, as I think people of any age could use a little help with getting things done.

Prototype link: https://projects.invisionapp.com/share/HPPZ87J2TMB#/

Process

The idea for this project didn’t really come from putting two categories from the matrix together. Instead, it hit me around 3 AM while I was trying to sleep, and I wrote it down immediately. Fortunately it pretty easily fit into several categories, and aside from being very ambitious, seemed perfect for the experimental “adventures” we are embarking on.

Although it hit me randomly, that does not mean it was without background.I previously had a conversation with some of my friends in which someone expressed that they “wished they had the natural motivation I do.” What that friend didn’t realize about me is that my motivation and work ethic is the result of years of effort and task-managing practice. This made me wonder: how many other people in the world never try motivational strategies because they think you have to have some innate drive to do them or haven’t found a new way to visualize problems?

Because of this background, I decided to keep my friends involved in my process, from start to finish, interviewing 4 of my closest ones. At this stage it was important to recognize that everyone has different needs and has different ways of being motivated. What works for me might not work for other people. That’s why I turned my friends into “personas” or categories of hypothetical users, each from very different backgrounds (and countries!).

The first thing I set out to do was come up with a versatile character design. Your character is supposed to represent you, and it felt important to be able to represent personalities well - another opportunity to use those personas, who in my case had a visual appearance to work with on top of specific needs. Although I couldn’t viably animate this project, I did try to develop my initial character design with potential for animation in mind. It’s important to note that the character base shown is not the only one that would exist in a full project, as it does not take into account a number of disabilities. The only reason I made just the one is that all of my friends are able-bodied. I can’t stress enough that the final product would be much more customizable and absolutely inclusive.

The character design process itself was interesting. I would not call myself an experienced illustrator by any means, but it’s a skill that I would like to break into more. I have already been doing a lot of research on in the last 2 or 3 months due to the illustration-based web project I did last semester: https://www.supportzoos.com/ so luckily my reading list was already well stocked for this week sprint.

However, while the previously linked project was started in Photoshop, that clearly would not really be the best way to go for this project. I did block in the forms of the avatars in Photoshop, but I quickly moved the effort over to Illustrator. Once I had a functioning base, it really didn’t take that long to make characters for all of my personas.

The next thing I really thought through was game mechanics. At the end of Web Design a year ago, I was encouraged to keep learning about web design if it’s what I love doing, and I really took that to heart. I have an online library now just full of links to web resources. Last semester I read through the entire W3 Schools library on JavaScript, and made sure I could practice what I was learning at my internship.

While I definitely did not have the time (or the right programming language) to make this a functioning app, this understanding of programming logic, which does not really differ strongly from language to language, would let me think through how the game would functionally work. The prototype could visually show how it will work, but I would also be able to explain the logic to a developer, which I think would be important going forward with this project.

I decided to go with a sort of “open world” style game even though the actual things the character can do are simple because it gives the user more choice over when and how they go about their battles. The idea is to make the user feel in control of the things they go up against in life, and I don’t know that this idea comes across if the user is stuck on a path with impending monsters in the distance.

To further make the user “in control” I also had the idea to add a silly question to the end of my quest creator. Sure, most of the input of your to-do list isn’t fun, but being able to add some little personal touch, like choosing horns, reminds you it’s a game.

The UI was strongly designed with user mood in mind. Quest creator had to be simple so putting in tasks doesn’t feel like a chore. Soft, warm colors were utilized with rounded, approachable shapes. All of it is designed to make the user more at ease, because the real life things these monsters represent are scary enough.

I originally wanted to include so much more in my prototype. I think it may have accidentally come across as “humble-bragging” when I apologized during my presentation for not having more, but the apology was sincere. I felt like I’d produced the bare minimum for a proof of this concept, but that it could go so much further. Unfortunately the prototype process of something with infinite paths like a character creator is just... the worst. It’s a ridiculous amount of iterative panels and linking each of them is a pain. In contrast, it would take a fraction of the time to code, which is why I know that the idea is viable even if a fully functional prototype is not.

In the end I had something like 85 different pages to link in InVision and it took quite a while, even using hotspot templates from page to page. I also kind of messed up and had to relink 16 pages I had done incorrectly the first time around. Still, I think being able to user the character editor was additive to my proof of concept and better conveyed my intended experience, so I will say the effort was worth it, even if my next inquiry will be simpler.

I should mention that somewhere during the prototyping process I got frustrated with the amount of panels and my ever so loving friends used my own philosophy against me, suggesting that this project is my monster to fight.

In conclusion, I sent the prototype back to those four friends to see what they thought, and I’m happy to say that it was really well received. Most said they would definitely use an app like this, which is already a step towards helping motivate my peers to achieve their goals.

However, if this did become a real app, retention of users would likely come into question. It’s not an addictive game, and it isn’t intended to be. My thought is even if the user only uses it a handful of times, they’re still building up the planning and goal-conquering mindset through memorable interaction, something that I hope will stick around long after the app is deleted.