#the good thing is that now i at least have the assignment structure done so i just gotta double check the sources

[malpractice-morale]

not my assignment currently looking like a james somerton script

[goldberrg]

surely "bestfriends"

summary : You and Billy have been best friends for a while, but when he comes over unexpectedly.

TW's – cursing, sex (in details)

The end of your pencil tapped against the edge of your desk, the side of your head resting on your hand. Your leg bounced to the same rhythm as your pencil, while you listened to your teacher finish up telling you guys about a project. You were all reading "Pride and Prejudice", or at least had read it, and now needed to do the final project for it. You were aloud to work in groups of up to four, but you knew you'd only be working with one person – your best friend, Billy Hargrove.

Billy's step-mom, Susan, and your own mother were close friends. They worked together, and when you had been invited over for dinner the first week they moved to Hawkins, you and Billy had clicked. The two of you spent most of the night in his room, flipping through his vinyl's and helping him hang up his posters. You couldn't help but mock him about the clichè Playboy posters he had, and all the random crap in his room. But the two of you hit it off, becoming close friends quick.

And now he was your partner for every english assignment, art project, and science project. Those were the three classes you shared together. The first time you tried pairing up with someone other than him, a girl named Cheryl, he didn't speak to you for three whole days. Even when he drove you to and from school, he blared his music so loud your ears rang for hours afterwards.

Only after the project was over, and you showed up at his door with two tickets to see a movie.

Once your teacher had finished giving out her information and instructions, the class dispersed to get with their groups or partners. You leaned your head back, already finding Billy getting up from his seat behind you. He tossed his backpack onto the now-vacant desk beside yours, slamming his body into the chair with a grunt. This was your cue to get up and go get the poster board you would need for the project. You returned with a plain, white board compared to the other varying colors of purple, green, blue and red.

— Get your gross feet off the desk. — you ordered, glaring down at Billy since your hands were preoccupied. Billy rolled his eyes, but complied and removed his feet, the legs of the chair falling back onto the floor.

— Alright, doll, what's the plan? — Billy questioned, reaching into your backpack and pulling out your personal copy of the book. You'd already read the book various times throughout middle school and early high school, so you and Billy switched off borrowing your book.

— I figured I'd paint the board, sort of like a collage. Have different things on it. — you explained, looking down at him from the other side of the desk.

— Sounds good to me. We have two weeks, right? — he asked, quirking an eyebrow up at you.

— Yup, so if you don't finish the book by then, I'll kick your fucking ass. — you hissed, watching as he paused his skimming through the book.

— What?

— There weren't any lions in the book, jerk. You have two days to finish it. You're three fourths done, because that's how much we've read together, so you can finish a hundred pages by Thursday. — you sighed, rolling your eyes.

You walked over and sat in your own chair.

— Yeah, yeah, alright Your Highness. — he grumbled, closing the book and tossing it on top of the poster. — What else? We're doing the whole 'main characters, theme, plot, climax' stuff, right?

— Of course that's the only word you'd remember. — you grinned, shoving his shoulder as he laughed. — The dramatic structure, yes. And all the other stuff. We'll split it up. — you said, putting the book away. — You're coming over after dropping Max off, right? — you asked, standing up.

— Yeah. Most likely around 4:00. — he said, standing up as well when the bell rang and slinging his bag over his shoulder. — Let's go, doll.

Once Billy dropped you off at home, you laid the poster board on your bed and your backpack by your desk. You decided to shower and change into comfy clothes before Billy came over, after all you had about an hour. So you grabbed a pair of skull pajama pants and a big shirt, before heading into the bathroom. You turned the water on high, stripping off your clothes from the day, leaving you in your underwear. Grabbing your moms essential rose oil, you dropped a couple drops into the shower before leaving it slightly unopened on the rack next to the shower. The smell would help relieve the tension of the day, and get you focused for schoolwork. Finally, you took off your bra and underwear, stepping in.

The hot water hit you in the face, and you welcomed it. Scrubbing your face, you made sure to get your mascara and concealer off so that when you got out you wouldn't look horrifying. You let the water travel to your hair, smoothing it down your shoulders. Steam filled up the bathroom, the smell of rose invading your senses.

The roaring of the water was so loud that you didn't hear your front door open or Billy shouting for you name.

Billy pulled up to your driveway, hopping out of his car and heading up to the front door. Max had been dropped off at Mike's, not Dustin's, so it was a lot closer than he thought. He decided not to stop at home afterwards, and just head straight to your place. So he got there around 3:20, rather than 4:00. Not that big of a deal.

Banging on the door, Billy waited a minute or two for you to answer. When you didn't, he tried again, but louder. After the third time, Billy just barged in, rolling his eyes at the fact it was unlocked.

— Hey! Y/N? — he called out, hearing the shower running. Kicking his shoes off by the door, Billy tossed his jacket onto the back of your couch. He didn't hear a response from you, so he headed towards the bathroom. Knocking on the door with his knuckles, he leaned against the frame.

— Come in! — Billy's eyes shot open, looking at the closed door in shock.

As you were putting shampoo into your hair, you heard a knock on the bathroom door. You looked over at it through the glass doors, thinking of who it could be. Your mom wouldn't be home until later, and an intruder wouldn't fucking knock. So you probably lost track of time, and it was Billy.

— Come in. — you called out, not minding if he did or not. The glass walls were textured and opaque so he wouldn't be able to see anything porn-worthy.

And the two of you had paraded around in front of each other with your underwear on before, it wasn't much different. There was a pause before the door creaked open, and the outline of Billy came in.

— Sorry I'm early, doll. — he said, his voice darker than normal. — It didn't take as long to drop Max off. And I figured I'd stop by right after to get a head start on the project, maybe hang out for a while. I didn't realize you'd be naked.

— It's fine. — you laughed, opening the door slightly so you could poke your head out. He was sitting on the sink counter, shirtless. Every other girl in Hawkins was wet for Billy Hargrove, how could they not be? And of course you fell into that category. But you couldn't express it like they could, even though you were closer to him than they were. A few times a week, you'd find your hand sneaking down your underwear, his name leaving your mouth as you writhed against your sheets.

— Don't take too long, alright? — Billy pleaded, when he looked up and saw you looking out of the shower. His cheeks were red, but you passed it off as the hot steam. — Why the hell does it smell like roses in here? There aren't any flowers. — he questioned suddenly, lifting his nose in the air and diverting his eyes away from your wet neck.

— It's my momma's rose oil. I use it to relax. — you said, a 'duh' tone to your voice as you closed the door. — And I'll take however damn long as I please.

— Course you will. — Billy grumbled, and you smirked to yourself. You washed away the shampoo as Billy fired off more questions. — Why do you need rose oil to relax? Doesn't that burning water help?

— Not entirely. It helps my muscles from being hunched over all day, and the steam helps with my nose. But the rose oil adds the extra flare. It's rejuvenating.

— Rejuvenating? The hell's that supposed to mean? — Billy ridiculed, hopping off the counter and moving closer to the door so he could hear you better over the shower.

— It's like... I don't know Billy! — you huffed, opening the door suddenly and popping your head out. You were startled when you came face-to-face with him, noticing the way his eyes darted down to your nearly exposed chest and back up. — It helps with headaches, my skin if I apply it directly onto it, and the smell is just nice. Don't you think? It's just fucking relaxing. Unlike you right now. It's amplified in the shower, so I apologize if you're not getting the full treatment. — you snapped, getting frustrated. Having Billy so close in an intimate setting was rough, especially when you couldn't touch. It was like a goddamn museum, you can look, drool and adore. But if you touch, you're getting arrested.

— I'm getting the full treatment just fine, baby. — Billy snickered, leaning closer to you as his eyes dragged up and down your hidden form. Your face heated up, and you shot your hand out, shoving his face back.

— Pff, yeah right, Hargrove. — you scoffed, closing the door and diving under the water. Your breathing was heavy and you tried to mellow it out by focusing on your conditioner.

— You still with that Caden guy? — Billy suddenly asked, his voice now on the other side of the doors, causing your eyebrows to furrow.

— No, I broke it off two weeks ago. Remember? He couldn't decide if he wanted me or Jenny more, even though he was fucking her the whole time.?— you laughed dryly, running the conditioner through your hair as you shook your head at the memory.

— Good. — Billy muttered, but you still caught it. — You could do so much better than him.

— Yeah? — you laughed, shaking your hair to even out the conditioner. — Like who, you?

— Exactly like me. — you stopped, and turned to the end of the doors. There was an audible zipping sound, causing your heart to speed up.

— That so? And what makes you think that, Billy? — you called out, biting your lip and turning to face the water again, washing out the conditioner, in hopes of calming yourself. Your heart hammered against your chest when you heard the shower doors open, as if it was about to leap out of your throat. You didn't turn around however, opting to close your eyes as the water hit your face.

— Cause. — he replied simply, his breath ghosting over the shell of your ear.

Your eyes shot open as rough hands gripped at your hips, spinning you around. Your arms collided with Billy's chest, your head tilting up to look at him. His blond hair was beginning to stick to his face, and his blue eyes stuck out more than ever against the tiles. You weren't given anymore time to admire him, because his lips were on yours instantly. Both of you were swallowing water, your lips pushing against each other desperately. Billy walked the two of you backwards carefully, making sure you didn't slip, until your back hit the wall. You were now out of the harsh spray of the water, and you broke away to gasp for clear air.

— Are you.. — you attempted to ask, not wanting him to regret this, and have the friendship ruined.

— Yes, yes I'm sure, Y/N. — Billy said, not giving you the chance to finish. His hand reached up, pushing your wet, dark hair out of your face before leaning back down to capture you in another demanding kiss. Your fingers tangled in his damp curls, tugging slightly when his hands gripped your waist tightly.

Billy moved his hands under your thighs and crouched, indicating you to jump, and you did. Your legs tightened around his waist for dear life, knowing that if either of you gave out it'd end in a naked hospital trip.

— Fuck. — you moaned out, breaking the kiss as his cock rubbed against your pussy, tilting your head back. Billy ducked his head, attaching his mouth to the center of your throat, biting the thin flesh before sucking it. You whimpered, moving your body up and down the slick wall slightly, giving the both of you more friction. His nails dug into your ass, pinning you to the wall so you couldn't move.

— Don't do that, princess. — he warned lowly, vibrating against your throat. You could feel the occasional pulse of his cock against you, and you wanted nothing more than for it to be in you. Whether it was your mouth or pussy, you didn't care. You just wanted it.

— Billy, please. — you whined, after having waited patiently for him to finishing sucking on your neck.

— What do you want, baby. — he growled, pulling back to look up at you. You didn't answer him, instead you held onto his shoulders tightly so you could unwrap your legs without death. Once your feet were safely on the ground, you flipped the two of you, so his back was against the wall and your back was facing the water. Giving him a smirk, you kissed the corner of his mouth before getting on your knees. Billy's tongue darted out, licking along his lips while looking down at you, his hand running through your wet hair. Grabbing his dick in your hand, you pulled at it a few times, twisting your hand along the base. Leaning down, you gave the tip a few kitten licks, gathering the pre-cum onto your tongue. Looking up at Billy, you waited until his eyes fluttered closed before taking the beginning of his dick into your mouth.

— Ugh, Y/N. — Billy grunted, his hold on your hair tightening. You smiled internally, licking the underside of his cock, and then left to right in order to ease your mouth farther down. It took a few minutes, but soon enough the tip had gone past your tonsils. Your eyes were watering, and saliva was dribbling out of the edges of your mouth. Billy's hips bucked against your mouth, his tight grip on your hair giving you a steady rhythm. Continuous moans streamed out of his mouth, and eventually you were roughly pulled off of his dick.

— Not yet, baby. — he said, more so to himself than you. You understood what he meant, and grinned in satisfaction. Putting his finger under your chin, Billy guided you to stand up. Holding your chin between his thumb and forefinger, Billy pulled you in for a slower, more passionate kiss. Your hands rested on his chest, relishing in the warmth of the water and his body. His free hand traveled down the small of your back, tickling you as he went, before gropping your ass.

— Billy.. — you gasped, your voice breathless. You grinded yourself against him again, growing impatient. You looked into his eyes, chewing on your bottom lip to keep in your needy whines. Billy simply smirked down at you, fully aware of what it was you wanted – no, needed.

— Hmm? — he hummed, a wicked grin on his face. You let out an impatient huff, ducking your head to harshly bite at his shoulder. Billy hissed out, the hold on your ass tightening before it released. You thought he was just gonna move you two, but instead he brought his hand down in a harsh slap.

— Ah, Fuck. — you cried out in shock, arching your back.

— Don't bite. — he warned, and then he finally pushed your body against the wall on the side, the cool tile instantly calming down your burning ass cheek.

— Then fuck me already, you jerk. — you snapped, running your thumb over the bite mark on his shoulder. Billy's eyebrow rose at your bold statement, and you simply grinned up at him. His fingers ran down your stomach, tracing at your curves and marks of imperfections. He kept eye contact with you as his middle and ring finger dipped between your folds, slowly dragging from your entrance to your clit. Your body jumped at finally being touched, a sigh leaving your mouth. His thumb rolled around your nub, your hips jerking occasionally, while his middle finger worked it's way inside you. A small grunt sounded in your throat, and you held onto Billy's shoulder, leaning your head against the wall. Once his middle finger was in to the knuckle, he pushed in his ring finger and began pumping them in and out of you, curling them.

— Ugh. — you whimpered, your nails digging into his shoulder. Billy started kissing his way around your jaw, neck and chest, occasionally licking your nipple for fun. He added his forefinger after a minute, another moan escaping. You bit your lip, hard, holding in another whimper.

— Why are you being so quiet, princess? It's just us. — he mused, biting at your earlobe.

— I don't wanna boost your ego. — you snickered, yelping when his thumb pressed down on your clit and his fingers dug inside you even more.

— Yeah, well. — he laughed, shaking his head. — You can't hide the sounds you're making down here. — he snickered, slowly pulling his three fingers out of you and bringing them to his mouth. His tongue moved between his fingers, licking your juices and the shower water off of them. You watched, mesmerized.

Once his fingers were cleaned to his liking, he gripped the back of your thighs, having you jump up again. He gave you a nod, questioning if you were ready or not. You nodded yours quickly, having been ready for this for months. Aligning his cock with your entrance, Billy didn't have the ability to ease himself in because of your guys positions. So with one quick thrust, he was inside you, his hand splayed out against the wall and the other gripping your ass.

— Fuck. — you screamed, throwing your head back, crying out when it hit the wall. Billy was big, bigger than his three fingers. Your arms pulled him closer, trying to even out your breathing and relax your muscles around him. Billy didn't move, small moans being breathed into the crook of your neck.

— I'm sorry, doll. — he whispered, knowing it hurt. You didn't have lube or a condom, and not much preparation.

— No, no, don't apologize. — you said quickly, squeezing yourself around him to emphasize. — It's fine. You can.. you can start.

Billy removed his head to look at you, but when you gave him a nod he started moving. He thrusted slowly, not wanting to lose his grip on you or push your body. Both of you were breathing heavily, and you moved your body along his, matching his thrusts with your own.

— God. — he moaned, pulling his cock farther out before slamming back in, continuing the movement over and over again. Your nails scratched their way over his shoulder blades, biceps, back and anywhere they could reach. The pain was decreasing as the thrusting went on, and when Billy moved you slightly to the left, slamming back in, your eyes shot open.

— Holy fuck, right there, Billy! — you shouted out, arching yourself into him.

Billy smirked up at you, licking his bottom lip and doing as you said. He quickened his pace, no longer hearing your hisses of pain, and thrusted into you quickly. The sound of his skin slapping against yours, as well as the sound of your back hitting the wall, echoed throughout the bathroom, overpowering the shower.

— Ugh, god. — Billy grunted, throwing his head back. — I can't hold out much longer, Y/N. — he moaned, looking down at you just as you opened your eyes to look at him.

— I'm close too. — you whimpered, hiking yourself higher up on the wall, screaming out when his cock hit the spot again, but deeper. — Fuck, fuck, fuck. — you moaned, a streamline of curse words leaving your mouth. — Billy, I'm.. — you tried to warn him, but a high pitched moan escaped before you could finish as the heat in the bottom of your stomach exploded. A wave of warmth washed over you, your toes curling and your thighs squeezing around Billy, pulling him closer. You mouth fell open, letting out a small, quiet gasp as you orgasmed.

Billy pulled out quickly, feeling his own orgasm wash over him, and his hot cum sprayed over your stomach and the tops of your thighs. Your head fell to his shoulder limply, your body slipping down the shower wall, as it shook from your orgasm. You could see your thighs wiggling, and Billy gently lowered you to the floor. When the cold shower water hit you, you welcomed it, letting the cum wash off of you.

— Hey. — Billy whispered, his arms wrapping around you from behind. — This isn't a one time thing. I want you to be mine.

— Good. — you grinned, a giddy feeling coming over you, more intense than your orgasm. You turned around to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. — Let's go take a nap, that project can wait until later.

[whxre-bxby]

"Special Appointment"

recom Mansk x human f. reader

Masterlist Click here for art

Summary: You're in charge of the physical and mental health of the recom team. Mansk has an appointment and he gets a massage. Little do you know, he has developed a crush on you which becomes fairly obvious during the appointment and there is a turn in events.

WARNING: SMUT, fluff, bad language, penetration, blowjob, fingering, breeding kink

Word Count: 5482

The RDA is a busy place to work in. On Earth, I had a lot to do already. On Pandora, my chores seemed to double. Luckily I’ve been slightly transferred from the research department to… whatever department this is. 

I studied Na’vi species. Their body structure, muscles, skeletons, genes, and organs. The psychology too. Their language, culture and behaviour. 

Now, I no longer have the desk job which I am thankful for. I was moved and assigned to the newly created recombinant team, to give them regular checkups and make sure everything was okay. 

Part of my job now was to give them physiotherapy. Not all of them needed it but even the smallest complaints of pain or pressure could be a fault in the system so I needed to look at it. 

Today, I had Mansk assigned to me. It was a check-up with an included massage because he wasn’t sleeping well. 

I had gotten to know most of the recom’s pretty well. Mansk was one of them. We’ve had a few previous appointments and I enjoy talking with him. He’s the only person who asks me questions back when he comes in. I definitely don’t expect anyone to do that but it does often make my day. Of course, I don’t tell Mansk that because I want to keep things professional but I look forward to having him come in. I’ve also never massaged him before so let’s see how it goes.

Lyle came in for one yesterday. Not because he needed it, he’s in good condition. He insisted he needed a massage so I just let it happen and he fell asleep before we were even half done. 

Anyway, I knew what I was doing. This was my job, after all, so there was no need to be nervous. It’s all going to be okay, he’s just going to take his… shirt off. And I will not stare OR make it awkward because I’m a professional at what I do and I’m still trying to get a raise so I can’t have anything going wrong!

He’s meant to be here in a few minutes so I get the room ready by putting away anything that wasn’t needed for this appointment. Since I wasn’t working in a laboratory anymore, I didn’t have to wear the stupid coat or the gloves. My clothes were more comfortable and that was part of the reason I preferred this over my previous job. 

The big and heavy metal door beeps and the light above it flashes green instead of red. They automatically open and outside it is a colleague in a lab coat and half of what I’m assuming is Mansk. 

Yes, the doors were absolutely humungous for me but apparently still not big enough for the Na’vi body. The person holding the clipboard direct the soldiers here and they nodded before turning to leave. 

Mansk slowly leaned down, tilting his upper body slightly forward and stepping into the room. At least the ceiling was high enough. 

“Don’t hit your head.” I say, smiling and quickly arranging my desk. 

Mansk grins and breathily answers “Yeah.” before scanning the room. 

“Hi, welcome back.” I greet him and he smiles. 

“Hey.” he nods and I point to the large chair. 

“Take a seat there and I’ll be right with you.” I say, finishing what I was doing. 

Mansk listens, walking over to it and taking a seat while moving his tail out of the way. He always paid extra attention to it here because he didn’t want to knock anything over. 

“Alright, I’m ready.” I say, turning around with all the necessary clean tools. 

He nods again. I noticed he didn’t talk much, only when it was important. Yet he would still go out of his way to ask me things. 

“How are you feeling?” I ask, stopping on his side and placing a few things on the trolly next to the chair. 

“Alright.” he said, straightening his posture on the seat. “How are you?” he asks. 

I chuckle and a smile forces itself onto my face. 

“I’m alright too, thanks for asking.” I say and he smiles. “You know this check-up is about you, not about me, right?” 

The corner of his mouth lifts up into a slight smirk. “Yeah, I know.” He says and I see myself in the reflection of his shades. 

“Do you mind if we take those off?” I ask, motioning to his sunglasses. “You can put them on again when we’re done.” 

He looks away and nods, taking them off and holding on to them. I smile. 

“Thanks.” 

I start with the check-up by examining his reflexes. The good old snapping next to the ears to see if they react. Everything worked well. 

Next, I need to check the eyes. I reach for the torch and then gently place my hand on the left side of his face to guide him to look towards me. 

I notice how his eyes widen as he watches me intently but lets me do what I need to. 

I turn on the torch to its weakest level and shine it in his right eye. He squints a little and his pupil shrinks. The other eye does the same. It’s healthy. I keep his head there while I put the torch away and I feel how his eyes continue to linger on me. 

I face him again, noticing that they are slightly red in the corners. Probably from lack of sleep. His eyes keep flicking back and forth, probably looking at mine but I refuse to let myself get distracted. Not that I didn’t want to. If I could I would sit down in his lap and stare into his eyes all day but I don’t want to make him uncomfortable because that would clearly be crossing the line and I would probably get fired. 

I smile, gently tapping his cheek with my fingertip in praise that it’s all good and I step away. 

“What happened to your face?” Mansk suddenly asks me and I remember the small scratch I have. 

I grin at the memory. “Me and a friend were messing around with paperwork and she threw some of it at me. It’s just a papercut, no biggie.” 

“Important paperwork?” he asks, smiling and looking up at me. 

“Don’t tell your Colonel or the General.” I slyly say and he chuckles, dropping his head and shaking it. 

I then scan over his braid, picking it up and checking whether everything is in its place. I pull it over his shoulder to make sure that it's still flexible like it should be. A Na’vi virus side effect is a stiff cord which is extremely painful, so luckily he doesn’t have that. 

He watches how my hand glides over his braid and has to suppress a shiver which I don’t notice. 

I move it down his queue and pinch the end of it gently while making sure he isn’t showing any signs of discomfort. The braid was very sensitive and it had to be handled gently or else it could potentially cause some disruption in the body. 

He stayed still so I examined the small strands that moved as if they had a life of their own. I didn’t touch them, I just looked. As long as they move, everything is fine. 

“Good, everything looks fine.” I say and flash him a reassuring smile before taking all the tools back to the cupboard. 

“You said your back hurt, right?” I ask him, to make sure I didn’t get it wrong. 

“Yeah.” 

“Did something happen?”

“Nah, I just slept badly.” 

I nod, writing it down. “Okay, then please remove your shirt and you can lie down over there.” 

He nods and I turn away to give him a little privacy just to keep everything comfortable as I finish my notes. I get out the oil that helps with cramps and sore muscles from the cupboard next to me while I hear him shuffling around and laying down. 

I turn around and walk to him with the bottle of oil in my hand. Since the mattress for him to lay on is the height of his waist, that makes it as tall as me so I have steps to climb on. 

Mansk turns his head to the side and grins. “You have steps?”

“Yep. We don’t talk about it.” I say, quickly shutting him down. 

“It’s cute.” he mumbles and the words make my heart race but I’m so in the character of the version of Y/N that doesn’t give a shit, that I can respond quickly. 

“I feel like a Chihuahua.” I say, making him chuckle again. 

I climb up and kneel next to him. Mansk is resting his head on his arms again and his tail is swaying around. 

“You have to keep your tail down for the next 20 minutes.” I say and he lifts his head. 

“Still too?” Mansk asks, seeming a little worried about that. The tail was hard for them to control. 

“No, just try to keep it flat down if possible.” I laugh and he drops his head in defeat before nodding. I knew he struggled to get it under control too.

He managed though and I climbed on top of him, placing my legs on either side of his waist. 

His tail was beneath me so I refused to sit down. Mansk’s ears were flattened back, focusing on me instead of pointing forwards. 

“Just relax now.” I say with a smile and he answers with a soft “Mhm”. 

I flick open the bottle, pouring some oil on my palm before rubbing it between both my hands to warm it up. 

I then place my hands on his bare back and notice him flinch a little. Goosebumps rise on his skin making me smile but I say nothing. 

I start working on his back, feeling his tense muscles and focusing on loosening them. 

As the minutes go by, Mansk grows more relaxed and lets his shoulder slump. 

(I made art for this :D click here)

Occasionally, he sighs and I smile because it makes me feel better about my work when I know that he isn’t uncomfortable or in pain. 

I start telling him about the crisis I had with paperwork this morning because I know Mansk prefers listening over talking and he also prefers listening over silence. 

So when I speak and rant, he listens and gives me his attention and it often helps me blow off some steam. Sometimes he adds things like nods or agreeing noises or even questions. 

“Why was the deadline at 2:00 in the morning?” he asks, it sounding like a mumble though because his head is between his arms. 

“Ask my bitch of a boss. Never giving us a normal time to do anything. That’s why your appointment is this late.” I complain and I feel him chuckle. 

I work my way up his back, not leaving out a single spot. Apparently, I found a good area because Mansk is now letting out a few groans and his ears have drooped to the side. 

The noises he is making hypnotise me and I can’t get enough of it. I’ve zoned out a few times already, daydreaming while massaging him. Mansk is now suppressing them and it makes me wonder whether I did something wrong or whether he felt a change in the atmosphere. 

I also noticed he was no longer as relaxed as before and I tried to redo what I had previously done to ease the tension but it didn’t work. 

That didn’t stop me from continuing though. We had a few minutes left and I was working on his shoulders right now. 

Suddenly, I felt something brush up against the back of my leg and turned to see that Mansk’s tail was no longer down on the mattress. 

I was about to say something about it when it suddenly caressed my hip and then seemed to try and wrap around my thigh. I froze for a split second, watching it move. 

Was he doing this on purpose or was his tail once again acting up against his will?

I tried ignoring it, speeding up the massage because we were almost done. Maybe Mansk fell asleep? 

Then, I felt his tail brush the inside of my thigh which was so close to my crotch and it made me jump. I suddenly grew extremely nervous and decided to stop. 

“Okay, you’re all done.” I say, being so thankful that I didn’t stutter and trip over my words. 

I climb off Mansk, putting the bottle of oil away and when I turn back to him, he hasn’t moved at all. 

“You can come down now.” I say, trying to encourage him to get up because his appointment is finished. Not that I had anyone after him, he was the last person.

He runs a hand over his face and suddenly he seems frustrated. 

“I uhm- I can’t… get up.” he says and his words confuse me. 

“Does it still hurt?” I ask and he shakes his head no but I’m already returning back to where I was before. 

“Is it the same spot as before?” I ask and Mansk shakes his head and starts to panic slightly but keeps his composure as I climb back on him, running my hands down his back.

I notice how tensed up he is but he doesn’t seem sore anymore. 

“I can prescribe you a cream to relieve muscle pain.” I say, looking over to my cabinet again. 

Little did I know, Mansk needed to be relieved in a different way and of something else. But he would never dare tell me. 

Mansk thought of you too highly. You were like an angel to him and he appreciated every second he got to spend with you. Yes, he had developed a crush but he was denying it even to himself. He didn’t want to ruin what you had. 

Even though his new body was difficult to deal with and he had to put up with it needing more attention, he wouldn’t ever touch himself to the thought of you or anything like that. In his head, you were too good for him. He knew that if he got up, you would visibly see what had formed in his pants and he would probably kill himself or lock himself away forever if you would see him as some creep. 

But all that holding back had the tension in him just build up and he was currently having a very hard time suppressing his feelings. 

I lift my left leg up, ready to climb off of him but suddenly his tail is around my thigh and it’s keeping me there. I don’t move, wondering whether it will let go but it stays still, just holding me there. 

“Mansk?” I ask and I notice his head is raised but he seems to be avoiding me. 

In the next second, the tail tugs me down and I land on Mansk. My weight is now fully seated on his lower back and- 

…the beginning of his tail is pressed up right against my clothed pussy. The contact makes my breath hitch and I watch the muscles on his back flex. He must feel it too. 

Then, his tail moves and I gasp. His ears shoot to where my noise came from and he is gripping the edge of the mattress so tightly his knuckles have turned white. 

The smell of you fills the air and Mansk is able to pick it up. It makes his pupils widen a little and he bares his fangs while fighting himself to not turn around and touch you. 

I start to imagine what could be going on and while I can’t see his expression nor pick up any scent, I can feel how the atmosphere completely changes. 

The shift leads me to a conclusion of why Mansk isn’t turning around and why he is so tense all of a sudden. But since I’m not sure, I don’t want to risk too much. 

However, I will act on it slightly because I can see that his body language confirms my hypothesis and I’m the expert in that after all. 

“Mansk.” I say, with my voice more confident now and no longer shaky. His ears twitch back before flattening out again. Yeah, he heard me. 

I lift myself up a little while his tail still holds on to me. 

“Turn around.” It almost sounds like an order and it seems to surprise him a little. This time he inhales a shaky breath. 

“But uh- I can’t I have-” 

“Do it now.” I add and I watch him swallow nervously before he complies. His tail becomes loose around my thigh and he slowly turns around, to lie on his back while I give him some space. 

His face is tainted with an embarrassed blush, his ears are once again strained back and he refuses to meet my eyes. He’s just staring down at himself and he looks almost ashamed and guilty. I follow his gaze, letting my eyes trace down his bare torso until I see his problem. And with that, my theory is indeed confirmed. 

Mansk had a boner and he was clearly embarrassed about it. 

I inhale sharply and my lips part. I don’t know what to say but seeing him worked up like this is really doing it for me. I just need to know whether he feels like this about me or whether his body is just messing with him again. 

I move back a little so that I’m not right above it. Mansk’s eyes flicker up while his cheeks continue to burn. 

“Is this for me?” I ask with a smirk. “Or is it your Avatar messing up?”

Finally, Mansk looks at me. He looks like a puppy that just did something bad and is in trouble. 

He’s been trying to come up with any plausible excuse to save himself from this situation but your words hinted at amusement and now he wasn’t sure whether he should lie to get out of this or see where it goes. 

I notice he is hesitant so I decide to give him a little push. I move up, now hovering over his torso and staring down at him. Mansk watches me with wide blown eyes and perked-forward ears. 

“Come on, you can tell me.” I smirk again, taking one hand and tracing it along his collarbone and down to his chest. He shivers beneath me and his expression is changing from being hypnotised to fighting himself. 

“If you don’t want to I will leave.” I say, wanting him to know he has the option to get out of this if I really have misinterpreted this whole situation. 

“No-” he breathes out and I watch how defeat floods him. He’s given up on holding back. 

“Y/N I love you.” he blurts out and his words take me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting him to say that. I can see he’s still deeply blushing but he’s just staring at me like a lovestruck idiot at this point and I’m starting to love this. 

“Yeah?” I ask, raising an eyebrow while a grin forms on my face. 

“Yeah.” he almost whispers. His voice gave out for a split second and he sounds hoarse now. 

“How much?” I tease, letting my fingertips dance on his glistening skin. 

“So much.” 

I just watch him in amusement. Who knew a big man like him would be so whipped and desperate? 

“I need you so bad.” he adds and it almost sounds like a whine. Yep, he’s losing his barrier of being an emotionless and quiet soldier. 

I chuckle, wrapping my fingers around his dog tag and leaning down to him. 

“Magic word.” I say, thriving in the fact that I have so much control over him who is 3 times as big as me. 

“Please.” he whispers and I grin. I lean down, keeping our faces just mere millimetres apart and then Mansk leans his head up and connects our lips. 

I kiss him and rest my hands on his chest while his own start to wander my body. I let him touch my waist and face, but the rest will have to wait for later. 

His hand travels down my back and once it passes my hip I pull away and smack it lightly. Mansk retreats his hand and stares up at me. 

“Not yet.” I say and the words make him shiver again. 

I sit back on him and let my hands glide over his torso. 

Slowly I inch to the waistband on his pants and soon I am sitting on his upper thighs while his erection is straining his pants in front of me. 

Mansk leans on his forearms to watch me and I grin at him again. 

“Can I?” I ask, teasing his skin while dipping my fingertips beneath the fabric. He shakily sighs and nods his head. 

“Words, baby.”

“Yeah…” 

I slowly open and tug down his pants, thereby noticing he isn’t wearing a belt for once. I pull them down his thighs along with the underwear beneath and he sighs in slight relief when his erection is freed. 

This time I gulp, staring at the size of it. It’s so big it blows my mind. I might have to rethink my strategy here. 

Mansk notices and seems a little worried. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” he tells me and it warms my heart but the longer I see him like this the more I need him inside me. 

“I want to.” I say, leaning forward and kissing him again. “You’re so beautiful.” 

His ears perk forward and I take note that he likes the praise. 

I then sit back again and wrap one hand around him. Mansk shudders and bites his lip and then I do the same with my other hand. 

I stroke him a few times to test the waters and it seems to be working because Mansk is falling apart. 

I smile to myself when I see how his mouth is hanging open a little and how his breathing gets heavier. He groans when I tighten my grip a little.

I lean down after collecting saliva on my tongue and lick over his tip. His teeth sink into his bottom lip and he tightly clutches his hands into fists again. I hear Mansk whimper and I continue to lick the tip of his cock, running my tongue along the slit where what I think is precum is forming. 

I lick a long stripe from the base to the top before I wrap my lips around his tip and suck on him. Mansk throws his head back and his body shakes. 

He’s been so desperate for your touch for so long and he refused to ever take care of himself or acknowledge it so now he’s so much more sensitive to you, he can’t help himself but already spill all over your hands. 

Mansk is cumming and I try to swallow everything I can but the white ropes of cum are spurting out on me and my hands, it’s a mess. 

He’s breathing heavily and I watch how his dick is throbbing in my hand. I myself and completely hypnotised by it and I wonder whether it’s going to go soft but it doesn’t. 

Mansk has his head tilted back while he steadies his breath before he looks back at me. 

“Can you do another round?” I ask, licking some cum off my hand and then licking my lips. The sight of that has Mansk feeling sure that he can do it. 

“Fuck yeah.” he breathily says and I grin. 

I sit back on my legs and pull my top over my head while he watches me with heart eyes. 

I throw it to the side and quickly, my bra joins it on the floor. Mansk is speechless, still unable to wrap his head around the fact that you are doing this here with him. 

My shorts and underwear are gone in the next second and Mansk sighs while letting his lust-drunk eyes rest on the newly exposed parts of your body. 

He sits up once I’m naked but he keeps his hands on the side, not sure whether he is allowed to touch me or whether I even want that. 

“You’re so cute.” I smile at him, sliding my hand over his head while one of my hands holds his cheek. 

His cheeks heat up even more and he can’t suppress the big smile that formed on his face. 

“Who’s making you blush this bad, huh?” I ask, in a teasing manner and he chuckles, dropping his head but doesn’t answer because we both know the answer. 

I lean forward and connect our lips once again. This time we are closer and I arch my bare chest into him. 

The make-out session is heavy and soon he builds up the confidence to touch me. It starts out small, with his fingertips lingering on my thigh. Then he holds my waist.

I grow impatient, wanting to feel more so I take his arm and wrap it all the way around me. Mansk presses me right against him, wanting to be as close to me as possible and he moves his kisses from my lips to my jaw before he starts to mark my neck in hickeys. I don’t even care if they will be visible, I need him more than anything right now. 

I run my hands along his shoulders, appreciating every part of his body that I can and then my fingertips reach his braid and I let my hand glide down it. Mansk sighs into the crook of my neck and I decide that I need to feel him now. 

I look down between us and grind myself down against him. He stops what he’s doing and relishes in the feeling before leaning back a little. 

I watch as his hand travels between our bodies and he rubs the inside of my thigh before gliding his finger over my pussy. I whine, forgetting how good it felt to be touched like that. Maybe I needed this just as much as he did. 

He was rubbing me and I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. 

Before long, he pushes his finger halfway into me and I tensed up. It was obviously much bigger than my fingers and already stretched my walls a little but I tried relaxing again. He carefully pulled it out and repeated this action, thrusting it in a little further each time. 

After a while, Mansk was fingering me knuckle-deep and then he added a second fingers and I held on tightly to his arm. 

“Fuck-” I whimper and he just leans down and presses his head against mine in a form of comfort. 

“You’re so pretty.” he whispers, making me blush. I hide my face by pressing it against his torso and he smiles. 

I finally start to relax and it feels good but just then Mansk pulls his fingers out of me. I watch as he puts them in his mouth and licks them clean and it makes my heart skip a beat. 

“God you taste amazing.” he groans, kissing my cheek before reaching for his dick which is almost pressing up against his stomach. 

I lift my waist up a little more and Mansk supports me by holding my hip. He lines himself up with me, pressing his tip against my entrance. 

“Go slow, please.” I say, a little worried about how it will feel. 

“Yes ma’am.” he smiles, pressing his forehead against mine and rubbing his hand up and down my thigh. 

Slowly I lower myself down and I feel the resistance. I adjust my position a little and push myself further down until finally, his tip pushes inside me. 

Mansk’s mouth drops open and he relishes in the feeling of how I’m hugging him. 

Even this would be fine with him. He just needs to make sure you feel good.

I clench my teeth together, stopping for a moment before letting myself sink down. The further inside me he goes the thicker he becomes and I’ve never felt anything like this before. 

Mansk isn’t pushing me down at all, he’s letting me go at my own pace. Meanwhile, his eyes are fluttering closed and he’s trying to gather all his self-control to not spill just from how tight you are around him now.

I don’t manage to bottom out but neither of us expected that. He hit my cervix with his tip and he was just a little over halfway inside me. 

I dig my nails into his skin, trying to fight back the discomfort and closing my eyes. Mansk notices and gets worried. 

“I’m sorry…” he softly says, guiltily looking at me to make sure I’m still okay. 

“Don’t be. I’ll be fine in a few minutes.” I say and give him a smile before readjusting myself on him. 

“You feel so good.” he whimpers, cradling my body with one arm while holding himself up with the other. 

I smile, glad that I can please him. 

For the next two minutes, I just stay like that, needing to get used to him. 

After that, it doesn’t feel like such an intrusion and I nod. 

“It’s okay now.”I breathe out and his eyes shoot open and meet mine. He returns the nod and I slowly move up before letting myself sink down. 

I set a slow pace and know that I won’t manage to keep it for long. Luckily Mansk helps me out by guiding my movements. 

It starts feeling good and with time my legs turn to rubber and it’s Mansk who is moving me up and down his length. Both his hands are on my waist while mine rest on his shoulders and he’s effortlessly lifting me before pushing me down again. One would think that the person on top has control but that is definitely not the case. 

As soon as the first moan leaves my lips, it encourages Mansk to pick up the pace a little. 

His ears are once again strained back as he focuses on making us both feel good. 

My eyes are glossy because I’ve never felt so full in my life and he was managing to hit all the good spots inside me at once. 

“Mansk-” I moan, starting to feel hazy. “Don’t stop.” 

He hisses, your words making a volcano of butterflies erupt in his stomach. 

“Y/N- I can’t hold it much longer.” Mansk pants. 

“It’s okay, I’m almost there…” I reply, feeling the tension build up in my lower abdomen. His hand dives between our bodies again and suddenly his thumb is rubbing against my clit. 

I moan out his name again, letting my own head fall back while Mansk continues to fuck me down on him. 

I feel his dick twitch and his eyes close as he chases his high. It’s all too much for me and with the next thrust, he pushes me over the edge. 

My pussy clenches around him as if it weren’t already tight enough and it drives Mansk feral. He’s cumming right behind me, filling me up while I see stars. My body trembles while he presses us together again to keep us grounded in reality. 

I gasp for air, leaning against him for stability while his hot breath fans against my back. 

“Holy shit.” I whisper and he chuckles. I notice how his cum isn’t dripping out of me. That’s how tight it is for him. I feel a little sore now that the pleasure is gone but I remain close to him. 

We pull away a little and Mansk gazes into my eyes. He’s about to say something but I cut him off with a kiss. Of course, he doesn’t complain. 

When I pull back I smile, realising I’m in love with him too. He’s the best person I know here. Why not give it a shot?

“I think I love you too.” I whisper and my words make his eyes widen. He wasn’t expecting that either but it made him smile. 

“Let me take you out some time.”  he suggests and I giggle, looking down. 

“Sure.” I reply and Mansk pulls me into a hug. 

We clean ourselves up and he sets a day for the date. 

“See you tomorrow.” he says as he leaves. 

“Don’t be late!” I call after him with a grin. 

“I wouldn’t dare to. I’m meeting you.” he says, turning around with a grin. That was so cheesy it made me blush. Fuck.

This evening went much better than expected.

Tag List: @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @number1gal

[thesherrinfordfacility]

so i had the bright idea of rewatching s1 today whilst im working from home, now knowing what i know about s2, and so i can ruminate a little more on s1 with the additional context. ive barely made it past five minutes

im pretty sure ive gotten most of the frames accurate from this bit, and im sure it might just be a bit of demonstrative cinematography (which ya know, *chefs kiss*) but at the same time i love going into full year 9 english teacher mode about this shit, and i think there is something to comment on (which someone already might have done but w/e). in any case, this bit of dialogue is very noticeably layered with shots of crowley and aziraphale, but intercut with the shots of adam facing down the lion:

like, i can't help but feel that there is some symmetry in this and either other people have spotted it and im very behind, OR we havent spotted it and s2 spoilers have helped unlock it✨

so who is meant to be who here? for my money it would be that adam is mirroring aziraphale, and eve is mirroring crowley - in so much that at a really shallow level, aziraphale is a platoon leader, a guardian, fought in the war etc. crowley, regardless of his rank, is a starmaker, and let's face it the boy has the structural integrity of a strand of dried linguine. so we could look at it on that level (ignore the lion for the moment ill sort of explain that if it isn't already obvious)

but also we now know that this scene is not their first meeting, and that aziraphale and crowley do in fact remember each other and know that they have met, and in aziraphale's case is probably the teeniest bit shy bc damn heart eyes as an angel, heart eyes as a demon 🥵 but my point is that this is after the fall. after (as far as crowley tells it) crowley fell for 'just ask[ing] questions", and "just hung around the wrong people".

now i have my thoughts on why crowley fell: tldr because it would require another post - both reasons he gave above are bullshit and obvs conflict with each other, so i think that he doesn't actually know why he fell and has just guessed his transgressions so he can rationalise it, that god actually never had an issue with him asking questions, and instead it was actually god's plan to make him fall so he could represent the 'evil' side of free will on earth, as aziraphale's counterpart, and essentially ensure that humankind stays eternally 'in balance'

ANYWAY so the fact that in the lion sequence, 'crowley' is being shielded by 'aziraphale' against an unknown entity; but does this mirror a flashback, or is it foreshadowing? again, id put my bets on the former visually, but the latter... lyrically? idk the word but regardless take the dialogue:

"What if I did the right thing;

with the whole 'eat the apple business'?

A demon can get into a lot of trouble;

for doing the right thing."

so let's rephrase this:

"Was it the right decision to fall;

was I right to choose this for myself?

to choose the right to choose?

Because i feel like i could live to regret it."

so is crowley in essence already asking if aziraphale is on his side? is he asking if falling was the right thing, the good thing, to do (regardless of whether god gave him any choice in the matter)? But was he given the choice, first true free will? did aziraphale try to protect him during the fall, so crowley could get out in time (but ultimately fail? or at least bought Crowley enough time to find a back staircase and fall gently and peacefully, 'saunter vaguely downwards'?), and then get assigned to earth to be the 'good' side of the coin for humanity?

and is crowley asking if aziraphale will continue to be with him? in whatever romantic, platonic, acquaintance context you want - is he asking aziraphale if aziraphale will fight for him again, for them both? aziraphale made his decision, enacted his free will, in giving the humans a sword, and thus brought the concept of war and horror to earth, even if that was never his intention - so now swordless, and now only condemned to watch humanity as it strides out on its own (or was this the plan all along?👀), is aziraphale willing to do it? does he have the power, the strength, the will? would he stretch his finger over the line to fight on their side?

maybe im asking the wrong kind of questions, but all ill say is that in the above sequence? at the end of the dialogue? adam kills the lion.

i think 'their side' began in the job minisode, yes maybe, but also maybe the idea of it, the understanding of it, was planted here.

[r-2-peepoo]

BAD BATCH SPOILERS

Now that the episode is out, let’s talk about Cody’s personality.

Yes he has one. Yes he has always had one. You can argue that he is underdeveloped (and I will agree with you, he hasn’t had nearly as much screen time as he deserves) but he isn’t a blank slate. He has always had a personality and here is a core part of it:

Cody is fundamentally good. That is who he has always been. He is a very obedient soldier but he is similar to Obi Wan in that he is a good person who is just very strongly bound by his duties, hence why they were so close and presumably why they were assigned to work together so often. Obi Wan Kenobi would not trust, let alone be close with someone and have him as his second in command if Cody was not a good person. People forget that Cody was probably the person Obi Wan saw the most throughout the entire war, they were together so often. Obi Wan would not proclaim Cody as a good man who he remembers fondly years into the future, even after he ‘betrays’ if he didn’t think incredibly highly of him and if the Kenobi stamp of approval isn’t enough to convince you then I don’t know what is.

There’s a reason Cody has the rank he has but also that all of the clones trust him, including TBB who generally do not like regs. It’s one of the first things we learn about them as a group actually. The fans have done an insane amount of work in Cody’s personality but it is based on what was already there. You can easily believe Cody is a somewhat stern yet very compassionate person when you read fics about him because that is who he’s been from the beginning.

Absolutely no part of me ever believed that Cody would work for the Empire willingly or that Rex would have to fight/kill him. If that had happened, as much as I love how angsty and dramatic it is as a concept, it would’ve been a complete betrayal of Cody’s character and wouldn’t be a fitting ending for him. The fan theories did get to a lot of us and honestly I thought they were plausible only because a misrepresentation of a fairly minor character is always possible in media, however that is exactly what it would have been had that been the plot. A misrepresentation.

Character arcs need to have structure and Cody turning fascist out of absolutely nowhere would not have fit in with his character arc. The inhibitor chip would be the only way for it to work and even then it wouldn’t be fulfilling at all. It could happen, but it wouldn’t feel right if that makes sense. A death is also a huge mistake, at least in my opinion. He is such a vital character for exploring who the clones are after the war. We still have the rest of the season so maybe he will still die but I truly do not believe it anymore. If he does, I firmly think it will be the wrong creative decision and would waste his character.

TL/DR: Cody has always been a sweet boy and I’m never letting people make me think he isn’t ever again ;-;

[bettsfic]

I’m taking another break from writing and I really want this break to be different so that when/if I go back to writing I’ll actually stick with it and have some of my walls pulled down so that I have less resistance to working on a project. Do you have any tips on how to step away from a project to recoup mentally and then go back feeling ready to tackle writing a novel again?

I don’t want to just avoid writing by watching tv and stuff but also be ready for a new project:

If this helps, here’s what happened:

I was working on a story idea off and on for 6 months and I noticed it becoming a story I did not plan on and one I didn’t think my skill set was ready for. It made me avoid the project for days at a time or build up walls around the idea of writing because I have attempted this thing for 2 years now with no significant progress. Just starting and stopping an idea and hating myself and slowly hating writing in the process with each failure.

As someone who is goal oriented I set mile stones, like query in 5 years finish my first novel this year,etc….

But it feels daunting when you stand on square one and feel like your ideas not right or your not skilled, people are going to hate it, and you are afraid of self-inserts(I don’t like to read self-inserts so I’d hate to write one of my own by accident).

So now I’m burnt out and has lost touch with what’s fun about writing.

it's interesting that you mention the idea of walls multiple times here. that seems to be both the problem and the solution. it sounds like you're writing from two different minds: the half of you feeling creative and inspired, and the half who wants to do the job to the standards you set yourself.

the problem is that you can't do one task with both minds, so you have to give each their own task. the half of you that wants to make something and have a good time with it can become the generative half. you use that energy to plot, draft, daydream, etc. the other half of you needs to do something they're good at, because they don't seem to be very helpful with generation.

my recommendation is to create an independent study for yourself. this project sounds very important to you, and you want to do it justice, and that means that second half of you needs to devote itself to developing the scaffolding that will allow your generative side to build the thing you want to make. if you've done any kind of teaching before, great. if not, think back to how your favorite class you've ever taken was structured and go off of that. write a whole syllabus if that sounds fun to you (creating syllabi is very fun for me).

most people i know see everything in one step: do the thing. but try breaking all your goals up into at least two steps: teach yourself how to do the thing, then do the thing. especially for people like you who are goal driven and organized (and probably were/are very good students), it can be extremely fun and satisfying to become your own teacher.

here are some individual activities you can try that i think might keep you focused on your project and relieve the burnout:

write a list of learning objectives. this can be anything from specific craft mechanics to mindfulness and meditation.

create a reading list. find some relevant texts that will help inform your project. you say, "I don’t want to just avoid writing by watching tv and stuff," but if you watch tv through the lens of your project, it becomes a productive exercise. take notes, then organize and index your notes. personally, i love taking notes about the tv i watch and then indexing my notes.

craft small assignments that use what you learned from the reading list to reach the learning objectives. if one of your learning objectives is "learn how to write in first person," you take your favorite first-person reading and use it as a prompt for a short piece of prose.

make a final assignment. maybe your final assignment is a drafting plan (not an outline) for how you want to tackle your return to drafting. maybe it's a sample/practice chapter of your project. maybe it's an actual "what i learned in this course" style book report.

this isn't advice i would give to everyone. there are a lot of writers out there who would read this and go "absolutely fucken not" because they are the "just do it and see what happens" sort, or they had such a horrible primary education that the thought of framing creativity within the structure of a course seems agonizing. but for writers who get in their own way, who have both tastes and ideas that outweigh their current skill level, i definitely recommend training your scaffolding brain to tasks that are more actionable, and taking the time to learn what you want to write before writing it.

[vinnywinnii]

Assistant PT.2 (Viktor x M!reader)

Hello, this is part two. I'll try writing in more fluff and some intimate scenes at some point, but I'm sticking more to fluff in this moment. Maybe some sexual tension at some point, but I haven't yet decided. Anyway, enjoy part two!<3

After you had finished your work (so a couple hours later) and Viktor suggested you guys hangout and go out somewhere together, you really needed some rest. Though as always, you were resisting it a lot. Now you were basically mumbling with your head down on his desk.

"mmh." You mumble, trying not to pass out and fall asleep at his desk.

"Assistant, you need sleep. You can't keep up with this, you already finished the required assigned work I have given." The tall, slim man spoke. His voice was smooth, and even softer than usual. It sounded very soothing, at least to you. The russian accent also compliments the soft tone he has.

"mm.." you mumble, barely having your eyes open. You head is down on his desk while you mumble short responses, barely making him know that you're still awake.

"And I thought I was overworking.." he muttered under his breath as a soft chuckle escapes his lips. He is slightly worried, you're staying awake just to do extra work. Plus, he's made you stay on night shift almost every night this week. And he knows you work day shift for a different job every other week as well, so you've only been sleeping on your lunch breaks.

That means you've barely been eating as well, really only having an apple and a quick coffee throughout the day. He feels bad for making you work more nightshifts. He already has you for day shifts every other week, you working day shifts for your second job on the other weeks he doesn't have you.

Its worse that you only make enough money to get food for your parents and to pay them rent, even with all this work you've done. He's very proud of you, you're a perfect young man.

He notices you've stopped responding with the cute little sounds and short word responses. He looks down at you, your hair covering your face with you cheek prepped on your arm. You look cute sleeping, your medium length brunette hair covering most of your face. He ends up smiling softly before catching himself, his cheeks growing a bit warm. He's definitely growing fond of you.

"you're a brilliant young man.. you're parents should be proud of you. If not, I'm sure proud of you.." he says, his more professional tone breaking. It's more loving, like he's speaking to someone he's loved for years on end.

He pulls out his notebook, scribbling a few things in the notes and closing it. He then puts it on his disorganized desk set up in the lab and smiles down at you, moving his hand up a bit and brushing some hair out of your face to see your closed eyes and handsome looking facial structure.

"you really are very handsome, and quite lovely to be around.. and you work so hard." He whispers to you, knowing your sleeping very soundly. He seems.. to favor you. Everyone does, but he definitely favors you for more than just you being a fantastic assistant. You're so sweet, so caring.. and very sympathetic. You're just a great person, and you don't find those around a lot.

He kisses your forehead gently, stroking your face. He hopes you don't wake up, he doesn't wanna have to explain why his hand is caressing your cheek. He doesn't wanna be called irresponsible, kissing an assistants forehead and holding his face a bit. He really does adore you, he always has. He just never wanted to admit it those few months.

"I wish you were awake to know how good you really do.. how much people really appreciate you. How much I really appreciate you. I care about you. I cherish you, Assistant.." He whispers, his tone genuine and his smile affectionate. He can't help but feel as if this is wrong.

He's a cold, stern man. He doesn't ever fail to make sure you know what work he's given you, and when it's due to him. These past few months of you being his assistant, you haven't failed once to do something right. You do so well, and he knows you don't believe it. You overwork yourself, just to try to prove you aren't lazy. Yet nobody thinks that, not even him. He admires you, as you admire him.

It's out of character for him to feel this way, to wanna give you simple praise for the work you do. He feels like he's softening for you, and he doesn't know if he should be happy that he's feeling some sort of love. He doesn't know what type of love, but he wants to protect you from this cruel world.. this dark place isn't good for someone as soft and nice as he sees you.

"I'll protect you, from this world. From the bad people here." He whispers more softly, his smile growing as he watches you sleep at his desk.

He ends up taking you to the couch next to the coffee pot you had made him coffee in earlier, setting you down there for some rest. You'll have to wake up in the morning for your second job, but he'll be happy to walk you there and provide for you.

He sets you down on the couch, brushing your hair back with his fingers and wrapping you in a blanket. He hasn't stopped smiling since he saw that cute, sleeping face of yours for the first time. He never wants this to end, but he doesn't wanna ruin a perfectly good professional relationship between you two.

He kisses your forehead once more before he sits in the chair at his desk, next to the couch you're laying on. He lays his head down on the desk, next to his papers; his eyes staying open for a bit longer. He watches you for a bit longer before one last mutter before he falls asleep.

"sleep well, solnyshko." He mutters quietly, his Russian accent making the name slip smoothly off of his tongue.

"...mm." you mumble.

Aww, solnyshko (Солнце, солнышко) actually means "sun" in Russian, it's a term of endearment. It can mean 'little sun', 'my sun', or just 'sun.' i think its the cutest thing!

I hope you enjoyed, I know these have been slow for now, I'm working on it. I'm trying to explain how much Viktor really loves the reader. He thinks the reader is cute, handsome, hardworking, and overall just a great guy. He admires him. <3

[james-stark-the-writer]

i have been writing a paper for a class for coming up on a continuous 10 hours now and i've only just reached the minimum page limit and only analyzed one of the two texts i was supposed to be analyzing, and i still have obviously not gotten to a conclusive argument so,,,,,,, i'm so fucking tired. and this paper is fucking due noon tomorrow so i have to finish it before i go to sleep tonight bc ik i'm not going to wake up early to finish it so like my life is a nightmare. thankfully, the second text is way shorter and easier to talk about, but i have only managed to write 9 pages in 10 hours, it is genuinely so exhausting writing this, and it's not even because i don't know what to write, it's that there's just so much shit to fucking write about like i could make this a 30-page paper but my professor knows me and she has given me a max limit of 15 pages so i'm trying to keep it contained, and figure out which like the most important pieces to my arguments are but also i'm writing about like entire novels so it is hard to fully get all of my thoughts and arguments across because so many of them are built like a scaffolding on top of each other so it is very difficult to know where to even begin and what to cut out and like if i make this a full 30 page paper i can't then cut it down to a 15 page paper because the structure of the arguments won't work and i would have to end up rewriting the whole thing anyway so i'm trying to get it right the first time so it requires minimal editing and it is really annoying but i am at least at my minimum page limit so whatever the fuck i write now just has to be good enough to get an A on this assignment which should be easy bc i do really like everything i have so far (even if it needs a little restructuring) so i just literally have to like analyze the other text in a few pages and really condense it and write a conclusion (these are herculean tasks) and then i'll be done but that's going to take like another three fucking hours and i have no coffee and i am starting to feel the effects of sleep on my brain so genuinely just i hate everything. i even have to write another paper tomorrow which i haven't even started but thankfully that's due at midnight and it's only like four pages so i can do that pretty easily but this one is fucking killing me.

[coraniaid]

Bad Eggs regularly shows up close to the top of lists of the worst episodes the show ever aired, and has done so pretty consistently for a very long time.

To cite just a handful of examples: 

it’s currently the fourth worst episode on IMDB by user rating  

it was ranked eleventh worst in this 2023 list from Rolling Stone 

it was ranked as the single worst episode on this list from Paste Magazine in the same year (quote: “there’s literally nothing good about this episode”)  

it was ranked ninth worst on this 2017 list from Vox 

it was ranked second worst on this 2013 list from BuzzFeed 

So obviously quite a lot of people really don’t like it.

And I’ve never really understood why that is.  In my view, Bad Eggs is … basically fine? A bit boring, sure.  A bit inconsequential in the grander scheme of the season.  A bit awkwardly written in places, with some clunky dialogue and some plotting choices that could have done with a rewrite or three. Underwhelming. But, yes,  basically fine.

The worst episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer are so very much worse than this.  I wish I lived in a reality where this was the worst episode of the show.

During this rewatch alone I’ve already sat through at least two episodes that are significantly, qualitatively worse than Bad Eggs, as well as four or five episodes where I suspect you could make the case either way.  And before this season is over I will have watched two more episodes that are definitely worse, too.  Off the top of my head, there are at least two worse episodes next season too.  And at least two more in every season after that.  In fact, I’m pretty sure I could name a couple of dozen worse episodes than this one without much trouble.

But yeah, it’s not great.

(And yet somehow I'm not finished talking about it.)

Beyond the obvious bit of foreshadowing (“sex can have negative consequences!” a teacher reminds a health class that Buffy’s unfortunately absent from, one episode before Buffy is destined to discover for herself that sex can indeed have negative consequences), the thing that I always remember about this episode is the way that same health class teacher – whose name is Mr Whitmore, we’ll learn later – explains how the egg-raising project he’s setting his students will work.

“You will split into parenting teams.  You and your partner will share equally in the daily task of raising your egg.  Now, please choose a partner.”

Note the words in bold.  The kids will be raising their eggs in partnerships.  Let’s make a note of this for future reference.  It seems to be important!

Well, it is.  Sort of.  Until it isn’t. 

You see, the episode sets things up like this for exactly two reasons.

The first is to have Xander and Cordelia very deliberately not partner up, showing us that … oh, look, sorry, I can’t pretend to take the Xander/Cordelia subplot seriously and I won’t even try.  It’s just very silly.  They both have very weird and conflicting feelings about their nascent relationship for reasons that boil down to this: it simply doesn’t make any sense.  Let’s move on.

The second and, I think, primary reason for the partnership set-up is so that Buffy can find out she wasn’t assigned a partner of her own (there are an odd number of students in the class). On finding this out, Buffy laments that she is now “a single mother … doomed to live my mother’s life”.  

In fact, the episode is so keen for Buffy to reach this conclusion that she initially assumes she has been assigned a partner.  Even before anybody tells her the assignment was structured that way. Even though Buffy wasn’t in class to be told about it, and even though her only reaction on being shown the egg in question was befuddlement.  

Buffy is presented with the egg, assumes it must be some sort of “fairly abstract” punishment, and on being told that she has to take care of it immediately realizes that this is the sort of hard work that can only be done by a team of two.  “My partner ... who did I get?” she asks hopefully.  Well, okay, I guess. Maybe that’s how Mr Whitmore sets up all his assignments.

In any case, we know that these are the only two reasons the egg assignment is described this way, because after Buffy expresses her horror at the prospect of becoming a single mother, the concept of the egg raising being done with a partner is never mentioned again.

Not only is it not raised again, a moment’s thought shows it is completely at odds with the actual plot of the episode.

The rest of Bad Eggs proceeds exactly as if each of the students has sole custody of their eggs.  We see the eggs hatch at night, and strange creatures climb out to possesses the students taking care of them.  What happens to the other student in the partnership, the one who didn’t take the egg home that night?  What does Xander’s partner think about the fact he boiled their shared egg? Are they in on the scheme? What do they think about the fact he named it “Xander Junior”?  We don’t know, because we don’t know who Xander’s partner is and we will never find out.  We never see his egg partner, or Willow’s, or Cordelia’s.  They do not exist.  They will never exist.  For the episode to work, they cannot have existed.

And why would Mr Whitmore, presumably already possessed by sinister egg creatures at this point, want to limit the distribution of eggs like this?  Doesn’t he want to possess as many students as possible? Just give them all individual eggs! We know that there are plenty more of them to go around, because later in this episode we see lots of other people get possessed by the egg creatures – Giles, Joyce and Jonathan to name just a few – people who very clearly were not in the original health class.

No, I’m pretty sure that the only reason the script pretends that the eggs are being raised in partnerships at the start is so that Buffy can worry about becoming her mother.  Something that she has never expressed any concern about before, something the episode never even pretends to comes back to, and something that Buffy herself won’t worry about again for another seventy-one episodes (and then only in vastly different circumstances).  

And “how deeply scary is that?” is asked as a rhetorical question, but I’m going with … “not very?”.  We see Buffy fight monsters every night; we’ve seen her mourn friends; we’ve seen her drown and die.  Surely being a single mother isn’t quite so scary compared to all of that?  Especially when, again, Buffy hasn’t ever shown any signs of thinking her mom is unlucky to be a single mother.  Just last episode it was a plot point that Buffy wasn’t happy about her mother meeting somebody new!  Buffy clearly doesn’t think her life would be better if her mother was seeing somebody, so why does she think her mother’s life is so terrible as it is?

What does Buffy’s little speech in the library mean?  What are we supposed to take away from it?  Why did the script go to all that trouble of setting it up?

But just to ask the question is to put more thought into the substance and meaning of this episode than I think anybody involved in writing it did.  

In an interview a few years ago, Marti Noxon (who wrote not just this episode but also most of What’s My Line?, as well as next week’s Surprise and two further episodes this season alone) described the pace of writing episodes for the show as “bananas”.  In that interview she also suggested that sometimes episodes had to be written in as little as four days, generally without much support or involvement from the rest of the writing team, but noted that “sometimes that results in really good writing”.

Maybe sometimes it does. I will say that I think that two of Noxon’s episodes this season are genuinely very good, to say nothing of future episodes she’ll write like Consequences and The Prom and Forever.  But sometimes it results in … well, Bad Eggs.  Not even close to the worst episode ever, despite the fandom consensus, but certainly not something worth thinking too hard about either.

Or as the script has Xander say, in what could easily be meta commentary on the episode itself:

“It says nothing.  It means nothing.  This whole egg experiment is completely pointless.”

[theradicalscrivener]

Life is suffering.

I'm struggling to hold it together long enough to finish the semester but it's going Not Well. The good gnus is I have finished a few short stories. The bad gnus is ... Everything else. I'll need to figure out when to post some of the stuff from the past few months because I'm never sure if I should be aiming for "peak hours" or just post it whenever is convenient. Unfortunately, I've been to exhausted to do anything other than work and such for a while now. I'm hoping that in a few weeks when I finish my finals I'll be able to unwind a bit and get some housekeeping stuff done. I also need to figure out what stories I've actually posted here and what I still have left to share. I know I did some CDE recently as well as the first stage of a slow(ish) macro growth story which I don't think has been posted here. I feel like I've also done some one shot stuff.

I'll try to give a brief recap of the past few months because I know people have been asking but also I know that most people don't want to have to scroll past a massive block of text so I'll keep it snappy.

I'm in an upper division accounting class. The final class I need to finish my bachelor's in accounting degree. The professor has structured the entire class around being a group oriented endeavor. All assignments (sans exams) are group projects. You'd think being an upper division course, everyone would be knowledgeable in the field and have at least the bare minimum moral fortitude and work ethic but you'd be wrong. My group has refused to do any work and since I dont want to fail because of other people I've been doing the work of 5 people by myself which is a huge part of why I'm so worn out.

I've spoken with the proff about it and at first she seemed to be on my side. Literally the whole class knows I'm the only one in my group doing work. During all the presentations I'm the only one who speaks and when the other members are forced to speak/answer questions they have no idea what to say. Like I've literally written briefs for them so they'd at least have something to say and they refuse to even read that.

A few weeks ago the proff pulled me aside after class and said that she'd grade my work separately from the rest of my group and that I should do the final assignment (which is like 40% of the class grade) solo and leave the rest of the group to handle themselves. I did the entire assignment by myself and emailed it to her rather than submitting it through the group portal. She responds to my email and said she has no idea why I would email her directly and told me i was supposed to use the group portal. She has no memory of us every talkin about the group issues so now the rest of the group are getting my grade on the final project even tho they didn't do anything. I haven't even heard from them in weeks. To make matters worse the proff never changed my grades and so I have the grades for the rest of the group (which are very low because we are graded on the participation of the whole group and since most of the group never participates in the presentation, and when they do they don't know anything about the subject I'm getting graded down for them not doing their job.)

I have a few more weeks and a few more assignments left of this shit. I just need to survive til mid may. Hopefully I don't crash and burn completely.

In other gnus. Things at work have been insane. I've been doing triple duty there as well. I work two jobs. One is a salary job which is tough to really say how much I actually do there ( but even then my salary is only 800 a month so it's not meant to be a full time job). On top of that I have my hourly work. I've been putting in over 100 hours at the hourly work pretty consistently lately.

On top of all that ny grandmother passed away at the start of the month. I ended up on an impromptu road trip to go to the funeral and deal with family stuff all while keeping up with work and school. I'm back home now but I'm extra exhausted and also down bad with the Rona. I'm tired and sore and sick and cranky as all get out.

But hopefully... I just need a few more weeks.

[demonfox38]

Post Game Evaluation - Final Fantasy V (GBA)

In questions that'll make a Millenial sweat.

This year has ended up being demanding in terms of travel. I'd like to say that it was all for positive reasons, but it's hard to frame my maternal grandmother's sudden health decline and relocation into an assisted living facility as positive. (At least she's alive and remembers my name? That's something.) To go full teal deer, I've been spending a lot of weekends away from my house. And, hell. What good are portable video games if not keeping me sane and conscious during frantic times?

This isn't the first time I've played through "Final Fantasy V." My previous completion was done while I was on a Christmas break in college, which…man, don't make me think about how long ago that was. Point being, I was a little foggy on the game and my reception of it. So, I wanted a refresh.

It's amazing what your mind decides to retain. Or, many times, doesn't.

"Final Fantasy V" is structurally similar to the first and third "Final Fantasy" games. Protect elementally based crystals, fight dudes in obnoxiously luxuriant armor, assign jobs to characters for the task. Unfortunately, the main cast for this game either has the worst sense of timing or is completely inept (your choice!), as all of the crystals they aim to protect get obliterated into dozens of pieces. Like, all of them, every time. And then they go to another world, upon which they actively get the previous generation of heroes all killed off for good. And then the worlds get "Tales of Symphonia"-style smooshed back together, and that somehow is also a bad deal because hell is apparently a vacuum, and it's going to suck everyone into it if your party doesn't stop sucking for 5 minutes!

Look, these people eventually get things cleaned up. Just don't trust any of them with your vehicles, pets, or house plants. All will be toast in 30 minutes.

I might give this cast some shit for being master-class failures, but honestly, this isn't the worst party I've had to deal with. It is neat that the end assembly is three chicks to one dude. The job system also lets you play fast and loose with everyone's skillset, so it's not like anyone is hard-locked into one role. (I guess you can lean into what they are naturally good at, but it doesn't hurt for everybody to have six levels in healing magic, either.) The configuration doesn't feel like some convenient anime harem pervert set-up, either. It shouldn't matter to me who has what gender or what role, but in a series that has a bad habit of defaulting certain characters into certain roles based on gender (or even going completely mono-gender, which blegh), it's nice that you can go, "Nah, fuck that. These princesses are now all samurai. Start dancing, salsa boy!"

With as much diversity as you can get with the Job system, you can also easily end up making yourself sick by grinding too much. I've got the "get everyone's numbers maxed out" mind goblin, to borrow a term from Pat Boivin. It's not enough to have one person master healing magic; everyone's gotta be maxed out on that. It doesn't matter that I might not really need the Monk class's maximum skill. I need all Jobs maxed out for everybody. Considering the game gives you three bonus jobs and an extra post-game job, this can make grinding insufferable. Time-consuming.

I mean, I had the time to waste, considering how often I was away from home. But, still. If grinding wasn't aggravating, then it was lulling me to sleep. (It's amazing when you get older and find out that putting your legs up for 5 minutes will knock your ass out.)

Unlocking all of the options for a job can be a pain in the ass, too. Are you good at finding hidden pianos? What about random monsters hiding out in arbitrary locations? Do you have a spreadsheet open for all of the potential item combinations you can make with the Chemist class? Is your Blue Mage of the right level to learn Level 5 Go Fuck Yourself? Long story short—trying to get a perfect game file is a fool's errand. Getting it done right will require cross-referencing several guides and maps to find every last little nugget, and even then, you may get screwed out based on how much knowledge is available on the specific variant of the game you are playing. And let's be honest—are you really going to use that Bard class outside of one or two dungeons? Are you really going to die if you don't get Catoblepas? Hell, is that even its name, in the version you are using? Who gives a shit if you get that Brave Knife, anyway? It's not like you don't have at least twelve other weapons to use…

Further complicating the situation is "Final Fantasy V"'s release history. This game falls into the same category as titles like "Tales of Phantasia" or "Seiken Densetsu 3" when it comes to its history in the US. I.E.—there was a significant gap in time where the game was unavailable to general audiences, so fan translators stepped in. When an actual release came out of the game's publishers, the previous verbiage had been so entrenched that trying to explain what was what would come with whiplash and potential rejection from previous players.

Now, I say all of this not to say that the translation is bad. From my POV, it's fine! Krile's a weird name, but whatever! At least Bartz isn't Butz here. The text is competent. What I am saying is that trying to get help on the 2005 GameBoy Advance variant or the 1999 Playstation release or anything made post-2010 does require some backwards translating to understand the ancient texts on GameFAQs and/or fan-managed websites. Don't kick yourself when you miss something. Researching this game is just that much of a shitshow.

Can you imagine waiting almost 6 years now-a-days for a game to get properly localized? I think people would pee their pants if they didn't get an English-translated copy within 6 minutes of the game's release! I'll stick to my guns when I say my favorite games came out between 1986 and 2006. But, damned if I don't appreciate translations just being there for my spoiled English-speaking face. I might play a Pokémon game in Spanish or plow through "Lagrange Point" with the help of a Google Translate-garbled document and a Japanese dictionary, but it's nice when I don't have to take such extreme measures.

I know playing Italian translated "Castlevania" games is a one-way ticket to flunking a language exam. But, I wonder if playing "Lupin the Third" games in Italian might actually be helpful…

In more positive notes, I really like the sprite and menu artwork for the GBA release. It's normalized with the rest of the games that Square Enix put out at the tail-end of the GBA's life cycle, so some of the landscapes and menu pieces have been touched up to try and match the quality of "Final Fantasy VI." The job spritework has always been really cool. It adds personality to each character's interpretation of the job's uniform, like giving cat ears to the White Mage role for Krile or showcasing different dancing style for the Dancer job. Hell, it's funny that the Mimic job is just their normal clothing with a cape thrown on. That sort of design feels like the kind of detail that would have some kind of work-around in a modern adaptation just so the player could keep the clothes they like. I'm thinking like "Monster Hunter Rise" and being able to craft outfits to look like other outfits. That would be perfect!

Having said that—I could have done without the Amano portrait work by the character's dialogue as seen in the GBA version. Like, there was always a divide between character design in and out of the game, but boy, does it stick out like a sickly sore thumb here. Way too pale and dead compared to the otherwise lively color palette. I would enjoy playing a fully Amano-stylized game (although, I suppose the FFIV remake is probably that, weird character proportions aside.) As it is, it's weird to see his work alongside what others decided to roll with.

I wish I could offer more opinions on the music, but since I was playing around other people, I was keeping my volume off as much as possible. That bridge fight theme versus Gilgamesh does kick ass, though. Other than that? I was more going, "Hey, wait. I think I recognize this from a Vaporwave song" more than anything.

I'm surprised with what details stuck with me after two playthroughs a decade apart. I think it would be pretty hard to forget Galuf and all of the shit he goes through. But, a lot of Faris' story stuck with me, too. When I was wrapping up prep-work for the rush through the final dungeon, I remembered getting her dragon as a summon, but weirdly enough, not getting her sister's wind drake. I wonder if I had skipped that in the past. I don't think its set pieces are anywhere near as memorable as those from "Final Fantasy VI", but there are little memorable chunks here and there.

Also—as goofy as the whole "the antagonist is an evil tree" idea can be, I do like the concept. Considering how many Japanese games pull in the Shinto principle of holy trees for their pivotal plot points, it is funny to see a game go "But what if it's a bastard tree, though?" What is it, like, this game, "Kuon," and a dozen Kirby games? It feels like it should be more of a thing. I just wish that you got to see more "evil tree" and less "dude in armor" for him, though. I mean, we already had FF1's Garland and FF4's Golbez. Imagine if we had something a bit more hinting into Exdeath's tree nature. Like, chunks of armor breaking off, revealing coarse bark and branches pushing their way through. Basically, like if we met a fucked-up Groot that was going around wearing Darth Vader's suit after it had went through a trash compactor. "Resident Evil 4"'s Armaduras, but with vegetation!

Is this the best "Final Fantasy" game I've played? No. I'd put it in the top quarter of "Final Fantasy" games that I would be likely to replay, but I wouldn't say it's my favorite. It's just kinda there. It's 1 and 3 with a plot that gets out of control. But, I didn't hate the cast, as unfortunate as they were. With my propensity towards finding "Final Fantasy" protagonists obnoxious, that alone may be worth a thousand words of praise. It can be picky and obtuse at times, but honestly, finishing the game may not require being that fickle yourself. You've just gotta ask yourself if grinding everything down to a polished sheen is really worth it.

[pierrotwrites-hc]

ok so this is probably gonna be weirdly specific but. ages ago, when i read the previous version of tgb, i seem to remember an author's note that said you rewrote an even earlier version of the story to make luca less like yourself & more into his own character (or something along those lines, it was a very long time ago). would you ever elaborate on what that meant? from what i understand you have been working on tgb for a really long time and even if i misremember that note, your writing process facinates me. i only read the version that was previously published on ao3 and the current one is definitely better but i'd love to hear what the rewriting process was like, as it apparently wasn't the first time you'd done it? huge fan of your work, i hope you have the best day :)

HA we are actually on the...*drumroll*...third revision of this story.

The first version was only a few chapters posted on the orig_slavefic community on Livejournal (shoutout to @maculategiraffe). I was still working out the sort of story I wanted to write and took an everything-and-the-kitchen-sink approach, which meant there was MAGIC and DEMONS and god knows what else. I couldn't pace a story to save my life (did I mention I was 17) and the style and voice and characterization were wildly inconsistent, a patchwork of things I liked in books by other, better writers (Terry Pratchett, Diana Wynne Jones, Holly Black, etc).

Anyway, an LJ writer I admired wrote a post in which they sarcastically excerpted some of my writing, and I realized that the chapters I'd produced were not just unsuccessful but mockable. I thought about what I wanted the story to be, where I wanted it to go, and how I wanted it to sound. I identified a serious tone problem with Luca's POV: it was written too lightly, and made him come across as far too...well, plucky, for lack of a better word. It just wasn't how someone so broken would think or speak or see the world.

I rewrote that draft completely. This resulted in the version originally posted on Ao3. It was miles better, but I had miles to go, and I knew it, but I didn't know how to get there.

At that point I was in undergrad at a school which offered no creative writing classes and whose professors really and truly disdained the sort of books I liked best. (I'll never forget proposing a thesis on children's fantasy in postwar Britain and my advisor forbidding me from "applying my theory pyrotechnics to a pile of crap"). So I started a reading group with a friend, a very serious reading group with books assigned at the beginning and end of every semester and hours-long weekly meetings. It was here that I began to figure out what actually worked about the books I admired, and how I might adapt successful structures and strategies into my own work.

Then I went to graduate school for writing. This was the first time I'd gotten deep critical feedback on my creative work. I was also diagnosed with CPTSD by a therapist who assigned me a lot of reading (my love language). Now I could work on technical issues like tone and pacing while also developing a deeper understanding of how trauma shapes a person's identity and worldview.

Looking at the second draft of TGB through this lens, I felt that Luca and Robert were not distinct enough, either from each other or any of the other characters (many of whom were pretty cartoonish). I also realized that I hadn't been thinking of Luca's plot arc as a progress arc, a reparative curve along which we see him moving chapter by chapter and book by book. And I wanted to give myself room to illustrate his relationship with Robert in more nuanced shades of moral gray. Robert and Luca are both products of a society like but also quite unlike our own, and they don't have to be (and shouldn't be) "good" or "likable" in the way we're used to thinking about. Robert is not (or at least not initially) an abolitionist. Neither is Luca. Indeed, Robert is the one most willing to question the institution of slavery because he's also the one whose imagination hasn't been (as Kemp says of Luca) "hopelessly limited by slavery." Of course those limitations aren't actually hopeless, but they are very real, and they're something Luca will be chipping away at in increments for a long, long time.

It was useful for me to think about who I wanted Luca and Robert to be at the beginning of the story, and what I wanted their relationship to be, and then to think about who they and their relationship would become by the very last page of the very last book. Knowing our starting point and our destination allowed me to plot the distance between, and to shape that plot around the trauma recovery (with all its fits, starts, and setbacks) these characters needed to go through, both together and individually.

And then I started writing.

[burnwater13]

IG-11 speaking with Din Djarin in front of a building on Arvala-7. Image from The Mandalorian, Season 1, Episode 1, The Mandalorian. Calendar from DataWorks. Caption reads: You are a Guild member? I thought I was the only one on assignment. - IG-11. That makes two of us. - The Mandalorian.

Grogu found a lot of things about the Mandalorian’s life puzzling. Why couldn’t he take off the helmet? Why travel to Arvala-7 to begin with? Why blast the droid? Weren’t they friends? You wouldn’t do that to a friend, would you? Okay, they were both trying to do the same job, but why was that a problem? The Jedi did, had done, the same job, but they worked together. Did bounty hunters not know how to do that?

It really seemed like they didn’t, but Grogu didn’t blame them. At least he didn’t blame the Mandalorian. How could you tell one bounty hunter to bring the target in cold and tell the other one to bring them in warm? Especially when cold was a permanent state of not being alive? That didn’t make sense. 

Grogu had wanted to ask the Mandalorian about that but they got pretty busy, pretty quickly. There was no time to ask technical questions about the systems and processes used by The New Republic Bounty Hunter’s Guild, let alone identify, evaluate, and compare those systems and processes used by the freelance guilds that flourished in the current galactic political environment. Grogu barely had time to think of that sentence let alone apply to his situation. 

This wasn’t the first time that he’d been ‘collected’ by people. He doubted that it would be the last time. Those people hadn’t been ‘hunters’ per se. Nope. They’d been elite Imperial troops. Large groups of them who had been admonished that they couldn’t let any harm come to him. That would have been funny if it hadn’t been so bothersome. 

Grogu wasn’t like anyone else those people had to try and bring in, bring back, just catch, whatever.  First, he usually didn’t run away. He’d learned at the Jedi temple that stillness was always his friend. He’d learned that human eyes tracked movement better than stillness. Stillness was boring. Movement was exciting. Frightened creatures often ran and that motion ended up dooming them. So stillness was his friend. 

Now, stillness, while a friend, didn’t always work. If the area was very clear or the squad had thermal sensors… stillness couldn’t do the job. That’s when he used proximity to help him. He’d pick one of the troopers and hop onto their back, or foot or helmet and then the other troopers would follow their training. Much to the regret of that first trooper. But, much like stillness, you couldn’t do that long term. It got confusing and the body count was pretty high. 

Finally, although he didn’t like doing it as a first choice, Grogu would find some critter that could help him. Barghests and lurkers were good choices. They were sized so he could just hop on their backs and direct them away from the scene. Unfortunately for the critters the Imps took notes. About everything. Dank Farrik. 

They shared those notes or stored them, again, whatever, Grogu had never asked them about the mechanics about how a new set of troopers already knew all about still, hop, pet (which is what he called his tactics) and were better prepared for the hunt. The critters started getting hurt and the troopers started getting mean. He didn’t need that and neither did the critters. 

Of course they had never worked out that putting out food traps or leaving an injured critter nearby would work better. Grogu couldn’t ignore a critter in need like that. Just ask the Mandalorian. Huhhhhh. 

Yup, apparently groups outside of the Imp structure realized that food and friendship were powerful motivators. That’s how the Niktos got him. He’d escaped from a cargo container on Arvala-7 only to discover too things: the planet was mostly volcanic and it was sparsely populated. It was easy to get hurt and it was easy to go hungry on planet like that. When they noticed him stealing trash from their dump site they thought he was just a scurrier or some other critter. A trap was laid with a tasty bit of not quite moldy stew and some poison. Grogu found it easy to detect the poison and avoided it readily, but he couldn’t avoid the cage that dropped on him as soon as stepped off the pan that held the food. 

The next thing he knew they had his pram, no doubt stolen from the automated cargo ship, and he was being held, more or less like a pet that wasn’t allowed to go outside. Ever. 

Since they continued to feed him, he didn’t really see the need to leave. He was tired of being on the run and needed, rather desperately, to get some sleep. Of course that was almost impossible. Bounty hunters had started to show up. There would be some fighting, which was noisy, then a period of eery silence and then life went back to normal. 

Then the Mandalorian showed up. And IG-11. They had gotten farther than any other hunter and Grogu had decided that stillness was an advantage. He stayed in his pram and tried to ignore what had been going on. 

That didn’t last. 

But that was what puzzled him. Was there really only one bounty out for him? It seemed like there must be two… Would the guild do that? Or was the Mandalorian refusing to follow the guild rules? How could they split the bounty if IG-11 was deactivated, to put it kindly? Or was that the plan the whole time? That didn’t seem honorable. 

Grogu remembered promising himself that he would figure that out. It seemed important at the time. But then life kind of got in the way and he’d dropped that puzzle and hadn’t picked it up since. Well… what do you think? Were there two different bounties out there? Or did the Mandalorian just follow his own way? 

Grogu values your opinion, so let him know what you think in the comments. First one to reply wins a… something… a story maybe? Any story you like. Sure. He can do that for you. This is the Way. 

(And Grogu’s favorite reply will also win something, maybe a story, maybe a Grogu… the Force will decide.)

[dandyduel]

DAN HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH YEAR 11 😭😭🤨

I’ve had 6 days so far and I think I’m going to go insane it’s so difficult and horrible I have never hated school more

HELLO LOVELY!!!!! -

First of all, I just want to begin by saying that you're doing great. Not everyone pursues the HSC and that in itself is something to be proud of, do not discount your achievements thus far.

Secondly, the leap from junior school to senior school in Australia (at least in the experience of myself and those around me) is nothing to be scoffed at. As students and learners it is incredibly easy to become trapped in our previous habits of complacence (something that often plagues me personally in the form of extreme procrastination and a lack of study schedule) as a lack of consequence leads us by the hand and gives us a false sense of security that is only ripped away when we are faced with a change of routine. In this sense, Year 11 & 12 is an earthquake manifest. They shake the structures that previously housed your education until they come tumbling down upon you - and then you must rebuild.

However, In my opinion this is not to be perceived as a loss but a moment of great opportunity. After losing this sense of stability you must apply your newfound knowledge of what may happen in order to strengthen your habits.

Read.

Reading is the single most important practice in strengthening your vocabulary and writing (and even if you take mostly science subjects, nothing will take you further in life than a high level of literacy). Read widely every day. Articles, Novels, Essays - whatever you like. Study by reading. It doesn't have to be hard, throughout my senior years of high school I probably did a total of 6 practice papers (though I do not promote this course of action) and ended up doing (more than) fine on all my exams and assignments because instead I would spend my time reading up on the topics that had been discussed in class (I highly recommend when you inevitably do Shakespeare, read some of the criticisms by Harold Bloom). Listen to podcasts before your exam. Pre-Finals I would sunbathe on my back porch while listening to relevant podcasts on Spotify, by god it helps.

Spend Time away from your work.

Play cards at lunch, talk about menial things during lulls in class-time, go to parties in fields. Honestly, the best thing about the senior years is spending time with your peers- don't loose that because you are too worried about your rankings. This certificate is a cruel beast that will bite and scratch at you if you let it. Do not let it. Get a good amount of rest, you are a teenager so that means that it is your god given right to nap like nothing else.

And above all, don't stress. I know it is easier said than done (many a time I was found crying over maths on my kitchen floor) but it is seriously a blip in your life. You will adapt, you will learn, and you will do well. This will set you up if you want to pursue tertiary education, chiefly because it is a learning experience. If you have never felt crippled over an essay before entering university it will cripple you later. let it happen now and then move on.

don't sweat the small stuff, I believe in you, have fun. <3

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball GT 15

✨GT Stands for Grave Thirst✨

Let’s get the B-plot out of the way, since it’s pretty short.  Doltaki, who escaped in the last episode, has arrived at Planet M2, where he seeks to make a report to his boss, Dr. Mu.  His “report” is really just a bunch of spin doctoring of facts Mu already knows: The GT crew defeated Luud, which means they’re even more powerful.  Doltaki believes that his “masterful eloquence of speech” would enable him to win the GT crew to Mu’s side, and he asks to be given the assignment of dealing with them.  This is dumb, since Doltaki just got back from losing to the same guys.  Also, Pan in particular hates Doltaki’s guts for what he did to her when she was stuck in doll form.

But it turns out that Mu’s not even there.   Instead, General Rildo is sitting in Mu’s chair and tells Doltaki that the doctor is out of town, but he did ask the General to pass along a message for him: “Die”.  Then he shoots Doltaki with an energy blast and asks for new orders.

I guess Mu was listening in on the whole Doltaki exchange the whole time, so why didn’t he just give the message himself?  Anyway, Mu orders Rildo to capture the Earthlings and their Dragon Balls, but he wants them taken alive, because he believes that their special powers could prove invaluable to his research.  The word “Saiyan” is never mentioned in this scene, but I’m kind of thinking this is what Dr. Mu has noticed. 

The important thing is that Doltaki is finally dead after appearing in five episodes.  I considered complimenting this episode for being the one where he dies, but it’s really more of a push when you think about it, since he could have just died in the last episode and spared us an appearance here.  Or they could have just not written him into the series in the first place.

Also, I want to point out that this whole scene is very reminiscent of General Blue’s death at the hands of Mercenary Tao in Commander Red’s office, only it’s not nearly as awesome.  That’s par for the course with GT, where a lot of the “best” moments are just watered down repeats of classic Dragon Ball and DBZ, but with all the fun parts stripped away.

Okay, so on with the main story.  Trunks and Goku are talking about the revelation of Dr. Mu as a rival Dragon Ball hunter.  If he can create weapons like Luud and he plans to use the Dragon Balls to wish for rule over the universe, then the situation has gotten a lot more dangerous.  Trunks suggests that they return to Earth so they can drop off Pan and resume their quest with Goten taking her place.  That way they’ll have enough muscle to handle Dr. Mu if they cross paths again. 

Naturally, Pan hates this idea, and Trunks tells her that it’s for her own good, since they can’t treat this like a game anymore.  Why were they ever treating this like a game?  The Earth will explode if they don’t find all seven Black Star Dragon Balls.  Stopping Dr. Mu from making a wish is kind of redundant.

Pan asks Goku to let her stay on the crew, and Goku says, and I quote: “I don’t care either way.”  Seriously, that sums GT Goku up pretty damn well.  We’re almost a quarter of the way through this show, and so far all he’s really done is eat, fight, and announce when he’s hungry.  People complain about Goku’s portrayal in Dragon Ball Super, but at least he has opinions and things to say.

Also, how is taking Pan back to Earth even an option anyway?  They wanted to turn back in Episode 3, but she stuffed the master control key in her shirt.  Did they get the key back?  Why didn’t they just take her back to Earth at that point? 

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that it never made sense for them to allow Pan to stay on board, so discussing it now seems pretty cheap when they never actually agreed to let her stay in the first place.   There was never an episode where she convinced them to let her stay, nor was there an episode where she proved her worth to the mission.  This episode is trying to pull that off, but it’s structured like it’s a follow-up to some other non-existent episode that already did this.

So Pan demonstrates her value to the crew by throwing a fit, running off to some other part of the ship, and crying about it.  Giru tries to sympathize, but she just abuses him like always.  The only thing that cheers her up is when Giru detects another Dragon Ball, although that seems like more of a distraction than a solution.

The next Dragon Ball is located on a desert planet with like eight different suns.  Also, the planet is infested with giant ant-lion creatures.   They don’t look much like antlions, but they live in the sand and prey on anything that gets too close.  Also they spit sand, which I don’t think is an antlion trait, so I’m not sure what to call these things.  Anyway, one of them damages the ship, so Trunks has to repair it while Goku stands guard to repel any further attacks.  Pan has nothing to do and they don’t want her getting in the way, so she gets upset again and runs off.

It goes about as well as you’d expect.  Seriously, this running away from home bit would be dangerous enough on most other planets, but out here it’s a death sentence.  And this was what I was complaining about when I wrote about Pan’s lack of a character arc a while back.  She joined this mission in Episode 2 because she wanted to be taken seriously.  She had a lot to prove, and she wanted people to stop treating her like a child.  And look where we are.

I mean, I would expect something like this from Episode 4 Pan.  But this is Episode 15.  This is the seventh alien planet she’s been to.  You would think that by now she would understand how hostile these environments can be, and how dangerous it is to run off alone.  Trunks was worried about her getting hurt during a confrontation with Dr. Mu, and she goes and proves that she can get herself killed far more easily than Trunks imagined.  

Luckily for her, Giru was worried about her and tracked her through the desert.  He locates her just as one of these antlion things is about to finish her off.  And surprisingly, Giru handles himself pretty well against this thing.  It made short work of Pan, although she was so exhausted and dehydrated that it probably wasn’t a fair fight. 

Pan can only watch in shame as Giru risks life and limb to defend her, and all she ever did was “push him around” as she puts it.  No, Pan, you kicked and punched him a lot too.  Not that I feel sorry for Giru, he sucks shit, but it’s amazing how Pan can bully such an unlikable character and come across as even more unlikable.

Then Pan has this sort of vision where she thinks she’s dying, and she sees images of her friends and family.  It feels a lot like what Goku will experience when he turns Super Saiyan 4 for the first time.  And this is where I really wondered if Pan might turn Super Saiyan in this episode, because  the first time I saw this episode, it sure felt like this big breakthrough moment for the character.   I knew she couldn’t turn Super Saiyan here, because I had already seen the later episodes that followed where she never showed that ability, but still, this story really feels a lot like a Super Saiyan origin story.   It’s like Vegeta confronting his own weakness during a meteor shower, or Future Trunks discovering Future Gohan’s corpse in the rain.  

Like, just look at how thick they’re laying it on here.  She wants Giru to run away before he gets hurt, and she can’t help him because she’s completely powerless.  I mean, even if she can’t turn Super Saiyan, she should still Hulk up and clobber the antlion creature and save the day, right?

WRONG!  Pan wakes up and it turns out that Giru has not only driven off the antlion monster all by himself, but he found an oasis nearby.   Oh, and he also recovered the Dragon Ball while he was at it.

Oh, and this oasis he found also helps Trunks with the ship, since it uses water for fuel, and he needed to refill it after the fuel tanks were breached in the attack.

✨ “Good” “Ideas”, Poorly Executed✨

And this is where a semi-promising episode goes completely off the rails.  They did a Pan episode, and then suddenly veered off course and had Giru become the hero instead.  Fucking Giru, the one character who was already indispensable because he’s their only way of locating Dragon Balls.

This goes back to producer Kozo Morishita’s philosophy for writing the series.  As he said in a 2005 interview: “Pan’s role was to be strong but still lose to the enemies and then be rescued by Goku, to be a ‘heroine who makes Goku a hero’.”    As far as Morishita was concerned, this was a “pattern” that had to be followed, which is why they never even considered having Pan become a Super Saiyan.  “[I]t would break that pattern to make Pan a Super Saiyan and strong.”

And I’ve already critiqued that attitude for being formulaic and self-defeating, but we see it on full display here.  This was set up as a solo story about Pan proving to Trunks that she deserves to see the mission through, and that pretty much demands that she get some kind of big hero moment.  But if she got a hero moment, then that would “break the pattern”.  So instead, we have Giru rescuing Pan instead of Goku. 

And that doesn’t fucking work at all!  At the end of the episode, Trunks apologizes for suggesting that they swap Pan for Goten, and he praises Pan for finding the Dragon Ball and the oasis, like that proves she can handle herself.  And it would, except she didn’t find the Dragon Ball or the oasis.  Giru found them!  Pan even tells Trunks this, but he responds with some twisted logic that Giru found them because he was trying to help Pan, so in a way, Pan deserves all the credit?  No!  No, that’s how how any of this works!

There’s a real sexist overtone to that Kozo Morishita interview, and this episode kind of puts it into focus.  Morishita compares the Pan/Goku dynamic to the movie Titanic, where the heroine is rescued by a hero, and she fondly remembers it as an old woman. 

“To go off-topic a bit, even the hit movie Titanic moved women because it’s a story where the heroine (now an old woman) remembers the hero; isn’t that basic movie-making? If the hero doesn’t rescue the heroine, maybe adults will understand that life is like that too sometimes, but for children it becomes a very harsh story. Stories where the hero rescues the heroine have a sense of security.”

I don’t want to read too much into this, but it sure sounds like Morishita was suggesting that this is the only way to depict a heroine in a story.  The way he tells it, a heroine’s job is to be rescued, and the only alternative would be to have the heroine getting in trouble and not getting rescued, which would be a real letdown.   Morishita never seems to consider a heroine who rescues herself, or who rescues someone else.  In other words: a damsel in distress. 

In that narrow definition, Pan can’t become a Super Saiyan, because it would give her too much agency to fit in Morishita’s precious pattern.  Maybe it’s just as well that she didn’t transform, since she would have ended up being a Super Saiyan in name only, never getting to cut loose like the boys. 

But more importantly, it completely ruins an episode like this one, which practically demands that Pan grow as a person and make some big contribution to the team.  As it is, Pan’s character arc is limited to her learning to be grateful to the people who save her.  This episode is about her learning to appreciate crappy little robots who save her, as opposed to her childish grandpa. 

And that’s bullshit, plain and simple.  It’s not “good” and it’s not an “idea”, unless you want to call chauvinism an idea.

✨ Is this episode worse than “The Roaming Lake”?✨

I remember being somewhat pleased with this one when I first saw it, but now I realize that I only had fond memories of it because I forgot how it actually ended.  I so badly wanted it to end with Pan kicking ass that I completely forgot the true ending with Giru saving the day.  So this episode is worse.

Why?  Because I remembered GT 15 reasonably well from when I last saw it ten years ago, and yet the ending was so terrible that I somehow tricked myself into misremembering what happened.  I completely forgot that Giru saved the day at the end, which totally undermined Pan’s character arc in that episode.  

I’m finding that happens a lot with GT, where I will vaguely recall an episode being halfway decent, only to watch it fresh and discover some ridiculous nonsense that I had completely forgotten.  I’m starting to think that everyone who claims to like GT has fallen under the same spell.  They believe they enjoyed it, but that’s only because they haven’t seen it in so long that they forgot all the stupid stuff.

Also, even if I liked that outcome, how big a ripoff is it that Giru saves the day, but he does it all off-screen?  Pan wakes up and he’s already handled everything?   Much of this episode’s runtime was taken up by Pan wandering the desert and Giru following her while chattering like a jerk the whole time.  They could have cut some of that to make room for Giru’s epic victory over that antlion monster.

Wait a minute... I just thought of something.  That oasis Giru found.

Is this the Roaming Lake?  I mean, the same one from Dragon Ball Episode 29.  The whole deal was that it’s a magic oasis that appears for those in need.  Did it follow Goku into outer space?!   That’s fucking awesome!

I mean, it doesn’t redeem this episode, but it’s still a cool fan theory.  To be clear, I hate the episode featuring the Roaming Lake, but I don’t hate the Roaming Lake itself.  I think it’s pretty awesome how a cool lake will just show up and comfort weary travelers.  I just wish it appeared in better episodes.  Maybe the Roaming Lake needs a new agent.

✨ Positivity Page✨

One thing I will say about this episode is that I feel very angry about it, and this is a very familiar anger.  Because of Morishita’s lack of vision, we never got to see Pan or Bulla become Super Saiyans in GT, and for many years, Pan and Bulla were the only female Saiyans in the franchise who could have become Super Saiyans.    I mean, even if Ceripa from the Bardock special had managed to pull it off, she got killed by Dodoria before she could have gotten the chance. 

So it had to be Pan or Bulla, but GT came and went, and it never happened, even though they were older in GT than Goten and Trunks were when they transformed in DBZ.

And this led to a lot of fanboys speciously concluding that female Saiyans are simply incapable of the transformation.  And I would lurk the message boards where these conversations would come up, and it really irritated me how GT dropped the ball on this one.  That was around 2004 or so, when I started trying to think of an idea for a Dragon Ball fanfiction, and I decided that the Legendary Super Saiyan was a fertile ground for storytelling.  

As I thought about what the character should be, it dawned on me that I could make her a woman, and that was the beginning of my OC, Luffa.  I didn’t actually do much with her for the next ten years, but I remember watching this episode of GT in 2012, and playing Ultimate Tenkaichi, which had a create-a-character mode, but it only let you play as a male Super Saiyan.  And that familiar anger was there again.

So now it’s 2023, and I’m watching this shitty episode of GT again, only this time, I’ve actually written my epic tale of a woman Super Saiyan, who kicks ass and doesn’t ask permission from Kozo Morishita before doing it.  I’m a million words in, and I guess I owe a little gratitude to this shitty episode of GT for giving me the motivation to try.

✨ The Blade Braxton Memorial Haiku*✨

Doltaki is dead

Thank you, Rildo. Now please, would

You put on some pants?

[dawnthefluffyduck]

IT'S DONE

THE DUCKS

Critique is tomorrow but I got this thing done at like, 3AM today and everything's all dry now and I'm so happy to finally be making this post so I'm putting it up earlier than I normally do 😭😭

Assignment details below but warning, it's like an adventure log cause holy crap I have so much to say about this

The assignment was to make a structure that:

Had a mechanical function (minimum two)

Included at least one found object (i.e., something that was not provided by the instructor)

Included at least one carved element

...so there was a lot going on for this. I've never carved before, hence why I panick made those ducks a few weeks ago. They were a failsafe, juuuust in case I couldn't figure out the whole "carve a bird" thing in time. Luckily they weren't needed, though if I wasn't in such a hurry I might not have gotten this weird looking cut on my finger that likely won't fully heal :') (battle scars, so it's okay)

They really did take a long time to carve though. For frame of reference, it took about:

~6 hours of listening to people play Phasmophobia for ducky #1

Another 5-6 of listening to Majora's Mask gameplay for ducky #2

About 3-4 hours of various My House videos for the smallest ducky #3 (thanks again for the recommendation 🙏 I was running out of things to fill the silence to)

I'm glad I started them as early as I could, especially with the breaks needed to let my fingers heal because I'm bad w/ knives.

I speed learned how use a sewing machine (thanks mom for letting me borrow it); I didn't have to make the outfits but they're cute so I don't regret it lol. I put elastic or snaps on all of them so they're all removable... maybe I'll make more outfits for them in the future?

I counted my found object as some plexiglass I picked up somewhere, and it turns out, it's not really hard to cut it. Apparently it's not hard to cut real glass either but I wasn't allowed to use it 'cause it's easier to break. I kinda like the window, I wasn't sure about how it'd look at first but I really think it makes it look more polished :D

The red handle was a last minute addition. I quite literally used a spare piece of wood at 1AM this morning and speed carved+painted it. Since it didn't have any major grooves like the ducks, I could saw it down close to the size it needed to be and then carve/sand off the edges to round it off, so I got it done in about an hour and a half. I'm glad I did because I accidently painted the frame a little took dark and needed something to help tie it in a little better. It's still dark, but it sticks out slightly less now??? I hope haha.

I had a lot less trouble using the power tools on campus this time around. That's not saying much because I never really had much trouble in the first place but still, they're nowhere nearly as intimidating as they look.

All in all it was a lot of fun, and I can't wait 'til it's graded cause I'm really excited to bring it home for good :D