#listen my English is usually pretty good but writing digitally makes it very bad like there are some misspellings

[vindrawin]

I’m Opening Commissions!!!

Contact me through tumblr DMs or Email (vindrawin@gmail) for inquires!!!

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Hello, hi!! I saw your match ups were open, which is really cool!! I was hoping for a maze runner match up?

You can call me Mylo or Comet and I’m transmasc, my pronouns are they/he! I’m 16, ~5’10, and I have long (I want to cut it!!) brown sorta curly hair! I’m bi but have a preference for masculine presenting people!

Some things about me are that I really want to dye my hair different colors, probably purple as the first color but the only colors I don’t want are yellow blond or orange! I really really love art, all kinds but I’m best at digital, pencil, water color, and sometimes animating. Funny enough I do kinda suck at painting (I’m working to get better)! I really love my family and I have 3 brothers, two younger and one older! I have a really big age gap with my younger brothers so I take care of them a lot, and I’m kinda good with kids because of it. I love my mom so much and I’m really close with her! I love listening to music, I write poetry sometimes, I suck at sports so much, I make jewelry for my friends and me, I love swimming and tubing and being around boats and docks, I really annoy connecting with people and having meaningful deep conversations, I used to love reading so I’m trying to get back into that, I enjoy baking too and sometimes going on hikes.

When I first meet someone I can be a little shy or reserved but I come out of my shell quickly if I’m comfortable. I care really deeply about my friends and I think they would describe me as someone who always tries to help out or doesn’t know how to relax sometimes, I can be pretty stubborn, I have anger issues but I’m working on them and I’ve never dealt with them full force at anyone, I’m protective of the people I care about but if they don’t need me I trust them to take care of themselves. I can get excited really easily and I’m positive when around other people, but if I get stuck in my head when I’m alone I can get into a pretty bad headspace. I always try to make people laugh and let them know I care about them (usually I don’t say anything out loud) by spending time with them, or getting them something.

Some random silly fun facts

I verbally stim so sometimes I’ll just repeat what someone says or something that gets stuck in my head

I’ve broken 2 bones. My arm when I was about 9 and a couple years later my pinkie. I’ve also broken my nose by running full speed into a pole (long and embarrassing story)

I was really clumsy as a kid and still kinda are as per my last fun fact

I love sweaters and I get cold super easily

I have a lot of moles and I have a couple on one part of my arm that looks like a constellation

I have this joke with flamingos that my friends and family know about so I have a ton of flamingo stuff lol

I love stuffed animals and blankets

I really enjoy writing and English class

I HATE being bored

I wear glasses and a high prescription I am very blind

And yeahhhh that’s uh a lot of stuff about me :) I hope that was enough and I wish you a lovely lovely day!!

hey, so sorry, i completely forgot about this for so long! i never got around to finishing it and i won't either, i think, but i do hope you can enjoy the first third of what was supposed to be a full love story

I ship you with...

Newt!!!

When you come up the box, there's already many other boys living their life as best as they can in the glade. You don't have to go through any of what Minho or Newt went through, you just have to deal with the fact that all you can remember about yourself is your name and that you'll be stuck for an undefined amount of time in this hellhole of a place, which, you know, is already bad enough. So you're understandably freaked out for the first few days and even quieter than you usually are. Out of all the boys, Newt is the one who helps you out of that state of mind the most.

You spend most of day one to three in the Med Jack's hut because you hit your head pretty badly in the box, but Newt shows you around and explains everything, slowly and delibaretly, and he even makes you smile once or twice. It's where your friendship begins.

You start helping out Frypan in the kitchen on your fourth day there because Alby thinks working will help you manage your situation better. And truly, you do a good job. You find out you enjoy baking, then you find out you're actually really good at it too, and from then on Frypan puts you on bread duty. You help him chop and cube and stir as well, of course, but mostly Frypan lets you bake to your heart's content.

Newt visits you from time to time. He comes in with a smile and waits for you to dust off your hands and nods at Frypan to let you go for five minutes, to check on you and how you're handling your new home. It's a lot to take in, after all. But you're getting better, you're doing better with Frypan around and the work you're doing, with all the people you're getting to know and the distractions.

Maybe a week and a half in, you're starting to settle. It's all beginning to come together as a routine. But then you drop your knife, try to pick it up and slice across your hand and somehow, your temper gets the better of you. Frypan can't calm you down and before he can go and get Alby (who he's not that sure could calm you down either), Newt appears in the doorway and rushes to your side and from then on, whenever you're struggling with your anger, he's the one you go to.

He keeps visiting you regularly (even when he shouldn't) and after a while, he starts bringing you flowers.

just imagine a happy ever after! 😂😂

[noroi1000]

Hi!! Can I please have a romantic jjk matchup?? (and forgive me if I make a mistake in the writing, I'm not fluent in english yet♡)

I'm pansexual and genderfluid, that uses all the pronouns.

I'm a brazilian, my sign is Leo and MBTI is INTJ. I have tan skin, dimples, brown eyes, straight black hair that goes below my waist and bangs. About my body, I think what stands out the most are the really thick thighs and the hands and feet that are really small. I wear glasses (I have astigmatism and myopia, my grade is VERY high); where i live is SO hot but i really like to wear sweats and pants so sometimes it's kind of hard but i think i wear any kind of clothes? I like to experiment with new styles and I really want to dye my hair but I didn't have the opportunity; I'm absolutely addicted to wearing necklaces, bracelets and especially rings, I'm always wearing several.

I have a quiet, observant, sarcastic and motherly personality, although from a distance it seems that I will be rude to you, I will actually be very calm and give you soft smiles. I can get stressed out easily but I don't show anything but glare, and above all I NEVER raise my voice, even in a fight the only thing I'm going to do is keep my voice calm with a firm, authoritative tone. I LOVE protecting and caring for people and listening to them talk about what they like, I always give them my FULLY attention. My love language is 100% touch, I am always touching the people I like and care about. Another thing is that I'm not a submissive person in a relationship, like no.

I'm completely in love with all kinds of art, especially dancing (I'm ALWAYS dancing while listening to music, which is pretty much all day long) and drawing/painting (sometimes I end up doing a whole drawing and not even realize it). I love reading and I always have a book with me, physical or digital. I love animals, I have cats, dogs, parrots, turtles and cockatiels, and I would give my life for them all without a second thought. Oh, I also love anything horror related with passion and bake, most of the time I don't even eat, I just bake and give it to people because I love it when they say they like what I made.

I think your Jujutsu kaisen matchup is

Kento Nanami

He is the most peaceful man you can meet. He is usually stoic and calm. Often serious and pays no more attention to his surroundings than he needs to do.

People who know him know that he can even get irritated quickly and he does not pay attention to words. But he says it calmly.

More than yelling in annoyance, he speaks in sarcasm. It is enough for someone to ask him something and he will answer sarcastically. But he will only do this to the person who pissed him off.

When someone pisses him off, he will feel the pressure of being scolded and will know the feeling of fear well. He is furious but shows no emotion. It can be terrible 👀

For younger people, when he knows he has to take care of them because they are underage or too irresponsible, he feels the need to take care of everything by himself. He would not like something bad to happen or something to go wrong.

He will supervise everyone and instruct if necessary.

You can't see it, but he doesn't want anyone to get hurt. Even he feels he has friends and doesn't want him to have time to do anything. He'll care more for someone else's safety than his own.

He has a calm and deep tone of voice. No matter what happened. Whether he's angry or sad or happy, it doesn't change. He speaks calmly and with composure. And seldom upsets him to start screaming.

Anyone can talk to him. Even when he doesn't seem to be listening, his attention is divided and he can actually hear it all. When he feels the need to respond and continue the conversation, he will do so.

He is perceptive. He sees a lot. He sees many details that are not noticed by others around him. He has good eyesight and almost no change will escape him. That's why he likes to have everything in its place.

Just as he doesn't like to overwork, he doesn't like spending all his time at work. He prefers to come to his quiet home and take care of himself or someone who is waiting for him at home.

His house probably wouldn't be that big, and it wouldn't be crazy either. Would be a quiet place with light colors. No exaggeration with colors. But it definitely has a lot of free space there. There is simply nothing to put there. Garden, small terrace in front of the house. Everything is calm. Adapted to spend time in quiet activities. Or not to leave the house.

A peaceful life with someone is something you dream about.

Headcanon:

• He is admired by your concern for people. It may surprise him a bit, but he knew people who wanted to help others. Just like the fact that they like other people and see the world very positively. He cannot forbid you to do something like this because helping people is good. And also, if you like it, he can't forbid it. He considers it a positive quality and makes sure that you are a nice person.

• When you have a soft voice or keep it quiet, he feels like he can listen to you for hours. Without any scream or anything annoying.

• He is always surprised when you care for him. You tell him to take care when he leaves, you check to see if he's okay. You take care of him like no one else. He is surprised by this behavior because nobody has ever cared for him like that.

Additionally, you can check whether he is eating well or sleeping well. Everything is easier for him with you.

• He can talk to you normally. He will smile when he says something he wants to say to you and then hears your own opinion.

He takes a lot of your opinion, and he wouldn't want to do something without your permission and without hearing what you have to say about it. Everything that has to be for you, he prefers to consult with you.

He has to make sure of everything about you. And then it can surprise you. It will be when he knows what he needs about you. Favorite color, style. What exactly do you like. He has to find out everything. As much as you know his needs, he must make it up to you as much as he can.

• His hated time of the day is the morning for sure because he has to get out of the warm and pleasant bed where he sleeps with you and get ready to go to work. When he can sleep longer and hold you in his arms when he doesn't have to go out, he wants to stay that way. But then you can wake him up with the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

He might be telling you that you don't have to make him meals all the time because he too can cook something for you. He knows you like to bake and he wouldn't forbid you to do what you love.

• The best time of the day is when you come home from work. He loves to see you smile when you are home when he comes back.

• When you visit him at work during his break, there is nothing he could do but get you on his lap to spend such a few minutes.

• Each day is a very nice experience for him. He has gotten used to your touch when you run your hands over his shoulders or his back when he is facing you, and when he turns you throw your hands around his neck to let one of your hands slide over his . It's just as nice as when you hug him from behind or from all sides. He really likes to feel your touch against his skin.

So will he who will run his hands over his shoulders, stomach, waist and back to show that he loves you. He will kiss your shoulder, neck or head as he comes from behind and watch you prepare something to eat with his hands clasped around your waist.

• He lets you guide yourself. If you want him to keep his hands where you want, or if you want him to do something for you, he will. He himself does not order you, and he allows you to do so.

He loves your homemade cakes and pastries. Everything that is home made is better than from the store. And what you bake even better. Thanks to you, he likes bread even more. But only yours.

• He knows your preferences. Therefore, when he buys you jewelry as a gift, it is perfect. You will like it. He knows what you like, what color, what metal. And also in what style.

Same with him, because if he got a signet ring from you, he could wear it anywhere. It would remind him of you no matter where he was.

• In his house, he can arrange a corner for any pet you want to have. It is important to him that they do not spoil anything. Besides, they also have a garden at their disposal which they would surely have.

• Watching you move to the beat of the music while whatever you do is the most beautiful sight for him.

• He will definitely show his feelings to you in different ways. Touch is probably the best for him as well. However, it is important to him that he only loves you.

"Do you always move like this when I'm not home? Even when I hold you, your whole body dances, right? What kind of dance do you like best? Why don't you dance it for me? Or… Maybe we'll dance together?"

[johnismyreason]

I have a request for a oneshot! Meeting tom in a bar, chatting, flirting, ending up at his place and having $ex🔥

It always takes me so much time to write something I’m sorry... Anyway I hope you’ll enjoy :) 

warnings: smutt, alcohol (kinda), praise kink, no foreplay, dom-ish!tom, and obviously the usual bad English 

The longest day ever. Ugh.

It was one of those days where you just think I just should’ve stayed in bed. Your alarm clock didn’t ring. You cracked your favourite pair of jeans right before heading out, making you running late even more. Your boss gave you yet another assignment in addition of you hundred of other ones. Stacy, your favourite co-worker, wasn’t here because she was on vacation with her boyfrie- fiancé now, wow she just texted you a selfie with her ring, and you remain single. Someone spilled their coffee on your shirt and didn’t even apologise. And finally hen you thought nothing bad can happen anymore, the rain was pouring. Of course you didn’t take your umbrella or a coat with a hood. Thank you London shitty weather. And of course, a car splashed the only puddle of water all over you. You wanted to cry, scream and burn everything down. You lift your head and read in bright red lighting the holy word “PUB”. Hallelujah. You didn’t even think about it, you just walked in.

The place was almost empty, which didn’t bother you at all, since you had enough interactions with humans for the day, maybe even for the week.

You sat at the bar, your coat drenched, your hair sticking to your face, your make up was gone and your mascara left black ink under your eyes. You were sticky and looked gross, but you couldn’t care less anymore. After three minutes with your head between your hands and elbows on the counter, the bartender bring you a shot of vodka.

“Wait,” you called him, “I didn’t order yet”

“Yeah, well, the guy over there got this for you” he replied, pointing at a curly hair young man sat on the banquette behind you, who, with a tight smile, waved shyly at you with just two fingers.

You looked at him with your tired eyes. Shit, he’s cute. He must has a weird obsession for desperate girls. You take the small glass and poured it down your throat.

“Thank you,” you told him a little louder than expected but you didn’t bother pretending you were sorry for three other customers. The young man got up and walked towards you, his bottle of beer in his hand.

“You’re welcome,” he said softly, seating on the stool next to yours. “You looked like you needed it” he chuckled.

“T’was that obvious ?”

He chuckled again before replying “a bit.” and you smiled lightly too. He didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds, just looking at you. “I’m Tom by the way” he introduced himself and extended his hand to you.

You looked at his hand, a little surprised by his traditional behaviour, but took it anyways “Y/N”

“Nice to meet you Y/N”. Another smile appeared on his thin lips . He was really cute. “So, what happened ? It seems like you had a rough day, don’t you ?” he asked, taking a sip of his beer. His jaw was sharp and his fingers were long and thin around the bottle.

“You wouldn’t want to know, it’s too long, and boring, and sad and... yeah, pathetic” you said, your head resting on your palm, staring at the counter.

“Well thank god we have all night, and you might think it’s an odd coincidence but, boring, sad and pathetic stories are my favourite.”

You thought about it. He’s a stranger in the creepiest pub in London, you don’t know nothing about him, and he doesn’t know nothing about you. You look a mess and weird, you’re drenched, why does he want to know about your day ?

“You like desperate girls, don’t you ?” you finally said.

“What ?” Tom replied, genuinely confused.

“Or maybe you’re the desperate one and is ready to pick the most rubbish looking girl, as long as you can have your release” you teased

“N-no, no ! I-I just... I saw you by the window getting splashed by the car, I felt so bad for you and I hoped you would come in so I can offer you a drink. I-I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I’ll leave-”

“Wait !” you stopped him from getting out of his stool, placing your hand on his forearm. Now you felt bad. He’s the first and only person today who didn’t annoy you in any kind of way. “Please, stay. It’s been a long day. A very long day” you sighed. Tom sat back on his stool with a tight smile. He ordered two other beers for him and you.

“Wanna talk about it ?” he gently proposed. You nodded and started your narrative. You gave all the details, from the sound of your ripped jeans, the tone of the unkind comment your coworker spat after pouring his coffee on you, to the very beautiful diamond your friend got when she got proposed to what seemed the perfect guy. Tom listened to everything, and kept his focus on your eyes, sometimes your lips, but just for a second. You finished your story after what felt like 10 hours of speaking.

“Wow... that was... a fucking shitty day” he chuckled bringing you warmth to your heart.

You chuckled “I’ll drink to that,” taking your beer and clinked it with his. You sighed dramatically and turned to him.

“What about yours ?”

“Mine ?” he said after taking a sip. “Well, it was way less interesting than yours” he laughed. “Um... I woke up. Got to the grocery store, worked out, watched TV, worked and got to this bar. And now I’m talking to a very pretty girl.” you blushed, not expecting him to say that.

“I bet she smells like flowers” you roasted yourself.

“More like a wet dog but that’s light” Tom teased and you hit him lightly on his arm. You both laughed lightly.

“We’re closing,” the bartender cut you.

“It’s only 9 o’clock...” you responded, your eyebrows frowned.

“We’re closing,” he repeated.

You looked at Tom, rolling your eyes “It’s because of my bad luck, I’m sorry.”

“Oh don’t be. This gives me the opportunity to ask you if you want to come to me place, have another drink.” he asked shyly, putting the money on the counter.

You looked at him awkwardly stuffing his hand in his jean pockets, waiting for your response. He’s really cute. Fuck it, let’s go. You bit your lip into a smile and nodded a yes. His eyes widened.

“Really ? Great ! Um, let’s go then,” he let you walk first towards the door but opened it for you. He told that his appartement is just a few minutes walking from here.

You followed him in the almost empty streets, talking about everything and mostly about him. He was nice and funny and it felt like you knew him for years. He led you to his building and then apartment which was gigantic next to yours. He took your coat and offered you to dry your hair  with his hairdryer while he sets everything to eat. You agreed and followed him in his bathroom. You came back in the kitchen where Tom was preparing dinner. There was a central counter illuminated by three industrial-style lamps. Tom had a folded tea towel on his shoulder and seemed very concentrated on cooking his dish.

“Pasta alla tomato,” he announced with a proud smile and his fingers pinched together, noticing you coming back from the bathroom.

“I’m not quite sure, that’s how Italians call it” you laughed standing next to him.

“Who cares ? It’s gonna be delicious,” he smirked. “Wanna taste ?” he asked with a low voice, his spoon ready to make you taste the tomato sauce. You nodded eagerly, making him chuckle. You parted your lips and leaned towards him, welcoming the spoon in your mouth. You moaned at the taste and watched his pupils dilate for a split second.

“It is delicious,” you confirmed licking your lips. Tom watched your tongue dancing on your mouth and felt his heart beating fast. Suddenly, it was too hot in the room.

“We um... we should take some plates,” he tried to resonate him. He moved around you to grab two plates, forks and knives and placed it on the counter, in front of the chairs.

You kept talking about life and laughed at the strangest stories you two lived. You were having the best time. Tom was nice, funny and it felt like you knew each others for years. Everything since the bar was simple and comfortable. Also, he was really cute. You couldn’t take off your eyes of him. You admired the stain of curls falling on his forehead, and how his biceps contrat when he runs his hand through his hair to replace it. The little wrinkles around his eyes when he was smiling and the joyful burst of his voice as he laughs.

You also noticed a small stain of tomato sauce on his jaw, and without thinking about it, cutting Tom in his sentence, you swiped your thumb over it and brung it to your lips. Before you could reach your mouth, Tom stopped you, interlacing your hand with his fingers, pulling it to his face. He plunged his gaze into yours and wrapped his lips around your thumb. He licked softly your digit without breaking the eye contact. You stopped breathing, your heart pounding in your ears.

“That was mine,” he almost groaned. He then kissed delicately your other fingers while you starred at his lips and his face. He sometimes made eye contact with, making you loose your mind, before closing his eyes refocusing your fingers. He pulled gently on your wrist close to make you lean towards him. Your faces are a few inches away and the tension is so thick, the space between you is barely breathable.

“Y/N,” Tom whispered “please let me kiss you” he tilted his head waiting for your answer. Your breath was jerky, your pupils dilated and all your senses in turmoil. You leaned a little more, closing your eyes and nodded slowly.

Tom placed his other free hand on your cheek and closed the space between you. His lips were warm and rough at the same time, but his kisses were soft and caring. He wanted to make you feel good. The leaned position wasn’t the most comfortable though. So without breaking the kiss, Tom guided you up and sat you on his lap.

“Hm, much better” he said between kisses. You giggled and ran your hands through his soft curls. Tom navigated his lips down your neck and sucked on your hot skin. You tilted your head back giving him all the space he needed. Tom then traced his way down to your chest, his hands running up and down your back, waist and hips. You gently pulled on his curls to bring back his lips on your mouth, both whining and moaning.

“Tom, I need more... so much more” you desperately moaned out of breath. He didn’t say anything. He just got up, holding you around his chest and walked to his bedroom. After letting you falling gracefully on his bed he got up and took off his tight t-shirt. You discovered his muscular features, making you want to touch it.

“Give me your hands,” he nicely ordered. And you obeyed. He placed your palms on his pecs and slowly ran them all over his upper body. Your eyes stared frantically every inch of his skin, in awe of his features. Tom looked at your face with a slight smirk, admiring you.

“You like what see ?” that was so cocky yet so hot. You would gave laughed if it was anyone else, but there was something about him that was so hypnotising.

“I really do,” you whispered, still caressing him.

“Y/N, can I take off your clothes” he gently demanded, lingering his long fingers on your arms.

“Please,” you whimpered. Tom took the time to kiss you before pulling up your almost tired t-shirt and bra.

“Gorgeous,” he groaned and ran his warm hand on your breast. You moaned his name when you felt his lips around your nipples. “you’re so beautiful Y/N”. He pushed you against the mattress, stil sucking on your buds. He slid his hands down your body to take off your panties. “Can I take these off ?”

“Yes, you can” you answered desperately. He wasted no time and admired your glistening core.

“Fuck, I can’t wait to be inside you” Tom got up and grabbed a condom in his bathroom. When he came back he stumbled while taking off his boxers, making you giggle at his eagerness. He almost jumped on the bed and placed the condom on his very hard cock. You looked at him with wanting eyes, licking your lips.

“Do I need to work you out a little ?”

“No, no, don’t worry about that, you’ve done enough” you giggled and he responded the same way. “Please, I just need you...” you whimpered. Tom leaned on you to kiss you, and ever so smoothly entered you. You both moaned loudly.

“Fuck Y/N, you feel amazing” he stayed immobile for a little while so you can accommodate to him, until you moved your hips. He got the message and started thrusting gently but deeply.

Tom never stoped kissing you. On your lips, your cheeks, your neck... every bit on your skin that was reachable was showered by his lips. It was like a drug to him. You couldn’t get your hands off of his body, running them on his back, abs, chest and hair tugging a little on his curls. And each time your did that, he groaned and moaned. He made the prettiest sounds and you were loving it. Tom sped up his movements, holding close to him.

“Tom... umm you feel so good ! Gosh, please don’t stop”, you praised him and deepened his thrusts. They were more calculated, more passionate. Seeing him responding to your praises this way, made you want even more from him, so you continued.

“Um, yes just like that, oh fuck ! Tom, fuck you feel amazing !” he became animalistic in his thrusts and you felt your orgasm getting closer.

“You like this cock pretty girl ? um ?” he groaned in your ear “do you feel how perfect it is for you ? how it makes you loose yourself ? I feel you clenching baby...” his thrusts sped up even harder wanting you to release your pleasure “cum for me Y/N, I’m right behind you. God, fuck- your pussy feels so good, so tight !”

Your nails scratched his back, searching for something to hold onto, you arched your spine and let your orgasm took over you. Tom thrusted a few more times before he cums in you, moans and groans filling the air. He relaxed his body on top of yours, both you regaining your breath. Who knew, after spending the worst day ever, you would end up in a stranger’s bed. Tom eventually rolled on the side, giggling.

“What’s so funny ?” you asked a bit embarrassed.

“Nothing, nothing,” he reassured you, kissing you softly, “it was just... mind-blowing.” You felt your cheeks heat up against his palm.

“I know,” your confirmed. “Thank you for brighting up my day” you joked.

“Anytime, love !” Tom smiled before hesitantly asking you “actually, I was thinking, maybe we could go on a date, or something... I spent a really good time with you. I’m not only talking about the sex, huh, it was an amazing evening.”

You bit your lips and kissed him delicately “I would love that. I had a great time too”

[emptynarration]

Y’know what?

I’ma make a list of all Iplier and Septic egos (that I would attempt writing) and put down some general headcanon points.

Be aware some might be different from “fanon” and some might be similar to “fanon”. These are just my general thoughts.

Also cus it’s a lot of egos, it’s under a read-more.

Dark

- Has a notable aura. Usually keeps it pulled to only himself, even though that’s tiring. - Generally very exhausted. - He works on keeping all the crimes the egos commit undercover and unnoticed, keeping the manor up and running without decaying, handling their money resources and public appearances, such things. - Cares about all the egos like family, but would never admit it. - Will manipulate you to reach his goal. Don’t trust him.

Wilford

- Not human. He’s a being made entirely out of energy. Is “human” for fun. - Due to that he doesn’t understand a lot of human things. Such as an actual need for food/water, bathroom needs, need to sleep, death. - Can alter reality in his vicinity however he pleases pretty much. - Can teleport himself to places he’s been to before. - Can teleport objects to himself and way, as long as he knows where they are and where they go.

Host

- Doesn’t smile a lot. Never seems to swear. - Is the (second) tallest ego. Cryptid vibes. - Narrates constantly, but doesn’t need to to be able to “see”. - Can be a softie when he wants to be. - Tortures people for fun. Murders for fun. Has no remorse. - Can be a petty asshole quite a lot.

(I tend to also write him as a nice, gentle baby, because self-projecting)

Dr Iplier

- Chubby and somft. - Extremely done with everyone’s bs. - Swears to himself more than you’d think. - Has slight healing powers (but can also cause pain if he wants to). - Works in a hospital in the city.

Google

- Doesn’t understand emotions at all. - Has a weird way of speaking sometimes. - What is slang? - Doesn’t understand humans well. He sees the bad the most so he hates them a lot. No reason to like humans. - Makes beeping sounds.

Oliver (Google Yellow)

- Very cheerful, bright, happy. - Loves children and teens, struggles with adults. - Very kind and caring to everyone. - Will murder with a smile on his face.

Reed (Google Red)

- he’s a mystery to myself I’m sorry

Greg (Google Green)

- Fascinated by humans, how they work like and such. - Has an interest in medicine. - Helps Iplier with taking care of the egos’ injuries and illnesses. - Very calm individual, very gentle.

Yandere

- Nonbinary. Uses They/Them or She/Her. - Will stab you if you ask about their sex. - Obsessed with their senpai, but never tries to interact with them. - Dresses both feminine and masculine. - Pretty cheerful and bright usually. - Easily makes friends.

King

- Loves nature and animals more than anything. - Understands animals and can communicate with them to some degree. - Is pretty muscular and athletic actually. - Very very kind and gentle. - Naive and oblivious.

Jims Twins

- Refer to everyone as Jim. - They are both Jim. No CJ or RJ (that just makes no sense). - They love to confuse people. - Are almost always recording what’s happening. - Run a news show, obviously. - Very very curious people. Ask a lot of questions.

Eric

- Very very shy and anxious. - Has no clue how to talk with people. - Stutters when nervous. - Handkerchief is a comfort item. - Loves animals a lot. - Very soft and very afraid.

Bim

- Very dramatic. - Loves glitter. Always glittering. - Cannibal, but like, casual. - Pretty nice fellow usually. - A huge flirt. Charismatic. - Has powers which he can use to make people pay attention to him, fall in love with him, and just generally want him.

Author

- Likes to be alone and isolated. - No idea how to handle people. - Needs chewing stim necklace. - Gets overwhelmed by a lot of noise and crowds. - Loud noises are Bad™ - Wilford’s best friend. Gets up to a lot of mischief with him. - Uses his writing for every little thing possible.

Bing

- Loves slang and uses it a lot. No matter from which decade. - Loves skateboarding and is pretty good with it. - Has a TikTok 100%. - Very chill. You will not get him angry.

Yancy

- Loves singing and making his own musical numbers. - Can choreograph simple things by himself. - Can dance pretty well. Especially tap-dance. - Loves reading old classics. - He will never let go of his accent.

Captn Magnum

- Gentle giant. - Always out on the sea. - The tallest ego around. - Father figure for absolutely everyone. - Eats lemons like oranges.

Illinois

- Cocky. - Loves to flirt. - Loves himself first and foremost. - Cares about people. - Doesn’t want to get attached. - Loves history, doesn’t care about money.

Mark Bop

- Loves singing, but is bad at it. - Has his own made-up language. (The Jims understand him). - Loves music. Has mix-tables. - Muscular man. Rips his shirts when he flexes. - Enjoys roller-skating. - Bad at talking. Very bad.

Arti

- Very nervous. Very shy. - Paranoid. - Loves art in every form. - Paints a lot. Loves painting. Good at painting. - Likes to be left alone. - Likes silent company. - Very nice actually.

Leon (Resident Enis)

- Doesn’t trust easily. - Dirty. Stinky. - A little kleptomaniac. - Nice and relaxed around friends. - Very protective.

Mike (FNAF guard)

- Paranoid. - Afraid of everyone. - Always has a knife on him. - Very protective once he trusts someone. - Insomniac.

Bill

- Werewolf. - Is deathly afraid of technology. - Doesn’t understand technology. - Loves to farm. - Good cook. - Very very nice and gentle.

Kink

- Very open-minded. - Connects emotionally with others very easily. - Extremely accepting of everyone and everything. - Loves to learn about new things. - Very kind and nice. - Has a death glare that’ll make you shudder.

Hiro (Cooliplier)

- The cool kid. - Not the smartest. - Doesn’t know a whole lot. - Likes to play tough and strong. - A huge softie. Loves cuddles.

Dr. Warren Plier

- Will psychoanalyze you the moment you meet. - Very quiet individual. - A great listener, not so good at talking. - Tends to be blunt. - Interested in whatever is being talked about.

Norman (Paranormal Investigator)

- Has a weird obsession with blood. - Collects haunted dolls. - A bit arrogant. - Very confident and sure of himself. - Not the kindest, but not rude intentionally. - Loves all paranormal. - No respect for anyone or anything.

Marcus (E-boy)

- Loves the aesthetic. - Eats the peel of fruits no matter what. - Screwed taste buds. - Pescatarian (vegetarian + fish). - Also has a TikTok. - Creative. - Talks a lot.

Annus

- A wild card. - One moment he’s serious and all about life and death. - The next he fucks around and does something with pee. - Has an accurate sense of when catastrophic events happen. - Is terrified of dying, but not death itself. - Is afraid of being forgotten.

Anti

- Is a glitch, like a hologram. - If water touches him, he gets hurt. Can glitch out completely. - He’s weightless. Can’t be physically hurt unless he wants to be. - Has his own digital space where he “lives”. - Loves fucking with people. - Gets off of gutting people. - Collects knives. - Loves making music with a launchpad.

Schneeple

- Barely has an accent anymore. - Typical bilingual problems. - Weird mix of words he uses due to how he learned English. - A good surgeon. - Works in the same hospital as Iplier.

Chase

- Absolute asshole. - Drunk 90% of the time (Sad when tipsy, angry when drunk). - Violent. Will quickly get physical with people. - There’s legal reasons he’s not allowed to see his kids.

Robbie

- Undead zombie. - Mental age of a child. Very slow. - Looks rotting but doesn’t smell like rotting. - Can’t see well. Can’t read. - Very kind. Very curious. - Bad at talking.

Jackie

- A true hero. - Kind, gentle, caring. - Has powers of flight, strength, and a bit of speed. - A big amount of stamina. - Muscular and athletic. - Is outside 90% of the time. - Hates being stuck inside.

JJ

- Mute. Uses sign language. - Confused by modern things. - Uses old words and ways of speaking. - Technology is fascinating. - Very kind and gentle. - Immaculate fashion.

Marvin

- Introvert. - Hates being around people. Loathes crowds. - Loves exploring magic and potions. - May use people to test out spells and potions. - Very arrogant and self-obsessed.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 15/05/2021 (Coldplay, J. Cole, Trippie Redd & Playboi Carti)

I’m awful at predicting this chart, I really am, but most of that is probably down to how I only make vague predictions at the end of each episode without even considering most releases that’ll actually chart. Let’s just say I didn’t expect nine new arrivals this week. At the top, however, little has changed as the absolutely huge “Body” by Russ Millions and Tion Wayne with a remix featuring whoever the hell is spending its second week at #1. The rest of the chart, however, gets a bit more interesting. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

The biggest story to effect the chart this week is of course 2021’s BRIT Awards happening this Tuesday, which I’m sure boosted a lot of songs during the mid-week. I also actually covered the awards show on that day if you’re curious, with some of my observations, predictions and opinions. We can very clear see – or hear, for that matter – the impact of the BRIT Awards in this week’s chart, as it did cause a lot of gains and new arrivals that shook up the chart right in the middle of the tracking week. Firstly, we do have some drop-outs from the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, only one of them, “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy, being all that important given it was a top five hit but we do have a handful that lasted five or more weeks or peaked in the top 40, like “Medicine” by James Arthur flopping embarrassingly, “Addicted” by Jorja Smith dropping out to prepare for the rebound next week given her album release and “Solid” by Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna featuring Drake.

Speaking of Drake, he also provides the singular returning entry as “Wants and Needs” featuring Lil Baby is proving to be the actual hit from that three-pack from March, coming back to #65. Scaling down the chart, we also have some notable losses, songs that dropped at least five spots on this week’s chart. Those that fell include “Your Power” by Billie Eilish dropping harshly to #15 off of the debut, as well as “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S at #18, “Confetti” by Little Mix to #21 off of the return (with Saweetie, the artist quite literally solely the reason it’s had this second wind, still bizarrely left without a credit by the UK Singles Chart), “My Head & My Heart” by Ava Max at #27, “Titanium” by Dave at #31, “Wellerman” by Nathan Evans and remixed by 220 KID and Billen Ted (yes, THEY’RE credited) at #36, “Patience” by KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G at #42, “Heartbreak Anniversary” by Giveon at #44, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa at #47, “Way Too Long” by Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack at #49, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #51, “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 and Megan Thee Stallion at #55, “Don’t Play” by Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals at #56, “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK at #59, “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee at #67, “You” by Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae at #69, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #70, “Hold On” by Justin Bieber getting ACR’d at #71, “Streets” by Doja Cat at #73 and finally, “6 for 6” by Central Cee at #75.

Filling up the room for those losses, however, are the gains, always a tad more interesting, as the songs that rose at least five spots on this week’s chart – or make their first appearance in the top 40, 20 or 10 – are usually having the BRITs to thank to some capacity. The climbers include “Summer 91 (Looking Back)” giving Noizu his first top 40 hit at #31 (and I’ll admit, the song is growing on me), Griff also getting her first with “Black Hole” at #35 thanks to her win and performance at the BRITs, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI rebounding to #13 thanks to that once-again uncredited remix with Miley Cyrus and finally, entering the top 10 for the first time is “Anywhere Away from Here” by Rag’n’Bone Man and P!nk at #9, getting the boost from a perfect trifecta of gains: Rag’n’Bone Man released his album on Friday then on Tuesday had the closing performance of this song at the BRIT Awards with additional vocals from the Lewisham and Greenwich NHS choir, who are also now appearing on a new release of the song the day after, prompting a whole lot of sales, of which I assume and hope are going to charity. It’s Rag’n’Bone Man’s third top 10 hit, P!nk’s 21st(!) and interestingly enough, the NHS choir’s second top 10 hit as they had the Christmas #1 back in 2015. With all of that out of the way, I suppose it’s time to get to our varied array of new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#74 – “Dick” – Starboi3 featuring Doja Cat

Produced by Nius and SoFLY

This week is kind of a weird week if that wasn’t immediately obvious as our new arrivals are kind of all over the place, starting with... well, I think I could say less about the song than the title does. Starboi3 is this SoundCloud rapper from New Jersey who made a song with Doja back in 2019 – I assume she was more accessible for features back then –and it didn’t blow up at all, really, giving Starboi3 some additional traction but not until 2020, in which Doja Cat got her #1 hit and TikTok picked up this explicit single as a new sound. Sadly – or thankfully – the song was never released officially onto streaming until very recently, meaning, surely, the hype’s over by now? The answer to that is no, as it’s climbing up charts in both the UK and the Bubbling Under in the US... so there’s got to be something good about this song, right? Well, no. Not at all. Of course, that is subjective, but I do question your sanity if you’re honestly enjoying this unlikeable nobody shout “Dick!” over a basic, no-melody trap instrumental with heavy 808s not too dissimilar to drill, before going into a beyond basic chorus and verse about, well, you can guess, with rhymes sounding either like an awful freestyle or a kid with a rhyming dictionary. “She not with him tonight, she not with Jim tonight”? Of course, that’s in the post-chorus because if there’s one thing this song needs, it’s a freaking post-chorus. I also don’t think Starboi3 realises that making her scream for her parents is quite the opposite of sexy – or even raunchy and mindless, as it’s actually just creepy and terrifying. Speaking of terrifying, Doja Cat is here and not even she can add a less basic flow with a verse that just ends up going in one ear and out the other, even if I do like the seductive backing vocals that at least try to make this not a slow, joyless slog. However, I do NOT like the Pickle Rick reference. To be fair, this was 2019, but also to be fair, never reference that again, I am begging you. This is a disaster on all fronts and probably one of the worst tracks I’ve had to review in this series. Good start!

#64 – “Freaks” – Surf Curse

Produced by Surf Curse

This new song is actually even older, being released initially as a deep cut from this Nevada duo’s 2013 album. As you’ll probably tell, this is charting off of people streaming after hearing the song on TikTok and, I mean, at least the song’s actually good this time, careening off of a clearly surf-inspired clean riff surrounded by some basic drumming and a good bassline. It’s not great as it does feel increasingly basic as I said, almost like one of those local bands that don’t get much national attention or traction but do play some gigs and get some love at those places, to the point where it’s kind of big if they play shows outside of their region... which makes sense because that is exactly what they are. This is just some band from Reno but here it is charting on the UK Singles Chart and while it’s here, I should say whilst there’s not much here to discuss given how minimal it is, Nick Rattigan’s vocals are fittingly desperate for the theme of social alienation and particularly rejection as it’s pretty obvious he’s aiming venom at himself for a bad break-up, although given the sound and tone of the song, probably his first, with that double meaning of the mantra in the outro, “I won’t wake up this time”, potentially being a crushing line for someone in similar circumstances. That’s not me, exactly, so this doesn’t hit, but I’m glad that Machine Gun Kelly song from last week got replaced with some actually decent alternative rock on the chart. I hope this does well.

#60 – “One Day” – Lovejoy

Produced by Cameron Nesbitt

“One Day” is the biggest track from new English rock band Lovejoy’s debut EP, Are You Alright?, and whilst I was planning on not mentioning the fact that the band is fronted by Minecraft YouTuber Wilbur Soot, that is the only reason it’s charting – and he’s charted with “Your New Boyfriend” a couple months back, a song that I actually kind of liked. It’s also immediately obvious in the writing that this comes from an Internet personality, with some not-so-well-woven detail and increasingly gratuitous self-awareness that eventually cycles back and ends up as seeming like they have none at all... okay, like most indie bands but that’s beside the point. This happens to be Wilbur’s least favourite song on the release – one that I haven’t listened to because even if I’m not too old for mindless pop music, Minecraft YouTuber alt-rock may be where I draw the line – and I can completely understand the distaste for this given that it starts with the line, “Why’d you have to kill my cat?” I also have some qualms with the song sonically as it may be the most derivative rock single I’ve heard on this series, given how obviously it rips from indie rock bands of the 2000s, with an oddly clean mix that doesn’t exactly fit the obvious stream-of-consciousness lyrics and Wilbur’s erratic delivery. Also, there’s a whole lot of trumpet on this song, which I guess is a surprise, but that doesn’t make up for a drummer who can clearly play very well but has to chaotically play over a song with practically no groove. I do like that second chorus in how it builds up to a somewhat anti-climactic guitar solo but as a full song I do not really get the appeal of this that I don’t get out of other post-punk revival bands from decades back who are still pumping out music. This isn’t bad – I swear, don’t dox me – but I just want something more compelling from this. I will always be glad regardless of the quality that we have more rock on the chart, though, even if this’ll be gone by next week.

#57 – “It’s a sin” – Years & Years and Elton John

Produced by Stuart Price and the Pet Shop Boys

One of my favourite performance from the BRIT Awards this year was Olly Alexander of Years & Years sharing the stage with the iconic Elton John to cover Pet Shop Boys’ “It’s a Sin” which had renewed interest from last year as it was the namesake for a hit TV series about HIV/AIDS, for which this fittingly played a role and has kind of been recontextualised as a gay anthem, which makes complete sense if you look at its lyrics about the Church telling Neil Tennant “how to be”. It’s also one of the Pet Shop Boys’ most camp and theatrical songs, so giving it to Years & Years and Elton John to cover for the BRIT Awards make all too much sense. No, they’re not able to live up to the theatricality of the original, especially if Alexander’s vocals are going to be this clearly manipulated at points, but with Elton John’s piano laying a perfect foundation for the rising intensity of the track, we do get a sense of that original melodrama, with the synth-work and house groove coming in before Elton John’s voice, sounding smokier and wiser with age, and in my opinion, more compelling as a vocalist, especially if they’re both going to sell this song with the most convicted of deliveries. I don’t think a cover could ever live up to that original iconic track but if anyone’s going to get close, it’s Elton John. Expect this to rise next week.

#50 – “Never Left” – Lil Tecca

Produced by ThankYouWill, Taz Taylor and Cxdy

I’ll always be annoyed that Lil Tecca blew up as a rapper instead of a producer, as I don’t think this guy has any likeability or charisma about his flow, cadence or delivery, and that’s only after you get over how dry and whiny his voice can get. However, he can make some great and incredibly infectious beats for other rappers, including a song I see becoming a hit soon in SoFaygo’s “Knock Knock”, which I will bet on at least making the Billboard Hot 100 if not the UK Singles Chart. It’s unbelievably catchy. With that said, Tecca is here in the form of some SoundCloud raps over a boring synth pluck and vaguely tropical Internet Money trap beat, sounding and flowing way too much like Gunna for his own benefit, or Gunna’s benefit, if we’re honest, as this shows how easily he can be replaced. I usually don’t write off this type of rap and will absolutely defend it, but this song isn’t even catchy or unique. I mean, I don’t like “Ransom” either but at least it was kind of fun and I still know the lines in the chorus a couple years later. I’ll forget all about this by next week if it doesn’t stick around. At least he shouts out Chief Keef. God, I hope he charts sometime, that’d be funny.

#45 – “All I Know So Far” – P!nk

Produced by Greg Kurstin

So, P!nk is back but not with a studio album, rather an upcoming live album in which the two new, original songs are about or featuring her daughter. This is the second single from said album and is probably coasting off her appearance at the BRITs in terms of a relatively high chart debut. I’ve never been that big a fan of P!nk but she has her classics, none of which are in the past 15 years but that’s beside the point. This single in particular is an acoustic ballad dedicated to her daughter in which P!nk provides a rapid intensity alongside pretty great-sounding acoustic guitars, pounding drums and strings that sells the content about empowering yourself, with some nice lyrical detail about always being yourself, basically, which would come off as cliché and preachy if it weren’t for some oddly specific lyrics in those verses and the chorus that basically just tell her daughter that despite the fact the world will constantly try to crack down on her and everything she does much like life does to anyone but especially women, she should stand up for herself and what she believes in. However, none of that cuts deep when she’s being raised by a millionaire, huh? There’s little Hell to be put through when you’re born with a silver spoon, huh, Willow? Regardless, this isn’t a bad pop song and its content isn’t as misguided as it is just sang by the wrong singer, although I’d find it hard to get a singer with as much rasp and wisdom in the mainstream to sell this as convincingly as P!nk does – vocally, not lyrically. This is a couple steps above that last single, “Cover Me in Sunshine” at least, which was just insidious. Next.

#32 – “Miss the Rage” – Trippie Redd featuring Playboi Carti

Produced by Loesoe

Okay, so all of our last three new arrivals are in the top 40 and we start with... o-okay, well, it’s 2021, anything can and will chart and I should know this by now, but it’s still surprising to see a song by these two guys debut so high, especially since Whole Lotta Red produced absolutely no charting hits in the UK outside of “@ MEH”, which doesn’t really count. This is Trippie’s highest-charting song ever in the UK that isn’t fronted by KSI, so I guess streaming must have been that good – also, the charts are still weak. For what it’s worth, I do like both Trippie and Carti to their respective extents, and I am aware that this is only as big as it was because of the hype from the leak, which also featured Mario Judah, and that in itself was a big song but it took years for Carti’s feature to be cleared by the label, as is infamously true for much of Carti’s work and even his last official collaboration with Trippie that was actually deleted after release. I’m still hoping on an official release for his verse on Yung Lean’s “Yayo”, but whilst we have this instead, I might as well talk about it and... Well, let me explain to you what I see as the appeal of these two rappers. That appeal is, mostly, that they don’t rap even though they both very much can. Trippie yells, moans, growls, screams and spends most of his work singing in his typical raspy, venomous voice, whilst Playboi Cart spits and coughs his way through substance-less ad-libs to the point where any actual wordplay or lyrical detail gets you excited for that brief moment. In this song, Trippie and Carti don’t eschew the typical role of a rapper and both just... rap normally, which would not be a complaint if they weren’t so bland in that role, which is the whole point of their unique, phlegm-filled deliveries in the first place. As a result, this song just ends up feeling empty, even if this awfully-mixed, bass-boosted beat with some lovely distorted video-game synths and hardly audible trap skitters does go incredibly hard. Don’t get me wrong: this is still catchy and Trippie flows very well over a beat that sounds made for him and Carti. Hell, Carti has grown on me so much recently that my fondness for this might just be me eating anything he releases up. With that said, he’s the worst part of the song as his baby-voice style emphasises how lacking this song is in just anything. I do like the wordplay at the tail-end of the verse as, yes, that happens, perhaps not as iconic as some of his other oddly profound or clever lines on his last record but at least it’s something. At least this is some interesting American trap, unlike...

#25 – “i n t e r l u d e” – J. Cole

Produced by J. Cole, Tommy Parker and T-Minus

The pandemic has affected the music industry to the point where big-name rappers release album interludes as lead singles. Said album has songs shorter than this interlude, with most of its dull filler feeling like additional interludes, quite unbefitting for such a big and hyped-up album from Cole which frankly is just another boring addition to an already consistently dull catalogue. I’m just not interested in what Cole has to say because he’s never been likeable and I feel like there’s better rappers that bridge the gap between old and new like how Cole sees himself as doing, the “MIDDLE CHILD”, perhaps, like, you know, Drake? If we want to go for a more direct comparison from lesser-known rappers, the direct comparison I use for this new record is Aminé’s latest, also made up of a variation of trap bangers featuring massive, charting names versus introspective, conscious lyrics, yet Aminé is an interesting character with quotable lyrics that aren’t embarrassing, knows how to write an actual hook and whilst he also brings on both classic and modern features, he’s never out-done by them, creating an actual bridge rather than just some guy who thinks he can write his own role in the industry and culture without his own music backing his case. Unfortunately for me, it works – every freaking time – largely because of his continually loyal fanbase but also a general public interest in the guy that I do not understand, especially when more than a decade into his career, he’s still pushing out mediocre projects. He cuts his album’s length by a ton and still ends up with a bloated record. I barely need to talk about the track itself, right? Even if it has as much structure and effort put into it as his normal songs do, it’s labelled quite literally as an interlude. Sigh, well, in this interlude, Jermaine raps over a drowned-out soul sample and admittedly, sticks to the topic of reminiscing on where he came from, the violence in Fayetteville, a similar violence of which was what killed Nipsey Hussle, who he compares amongst Pimp C and Jesus as they all died at 33. Cole himself is 36 so I guess for once he doesn’t think he’s Jesus. It took him a while to realise.

#12 – “Higher Power” – Coldplay

Produced by Max Martin, Oscar Holter and Bill Rahko

I assumed this would debut at #3 until the BRIT Awards performance gave it a boost to debut at the top but I guess everyone else had the same opinion of that awful opening performance as I did, because here it is at #12. Well, that doesn’t matter, right? Coldplay’s last album similarly underperformed... but at least that time, they had a genuinely ambitious album for once in their careers with some genuine experimentation and themes I did not expect to come out of Coldplay. It was a better album but not an accessible one, with its only pop single being a bittersweet anti-war anthem which trivialises bombing in the Middle East to onomatopoeia. It’s a great song but it wasn’t going anywhere, so it’s no surprise that their next lead single is a soulless synth-pop track produced by Max Martin. Admittedly, the synth tone in the intro is kind of unique in all its nasal 80s nostalgia, but, man, I thought we moved past just rehashing for a hit, Coldplay. This is pretty obviously just a crap attempt at being “Blinding Lights” which trades in its machine-gun loco-motive drum pattern for one that is a lot more stiff, and its iconic, memorable lyrics for a forgettable set of love-struck laziness. Oh, yeah, and Chris Martin is far from the Weeknd both in the studio and live at the BRIT Awards – seriously, dude sounded half-alive. This isn’t offensive, just a bore that is clearly a desperate label move ready for when they can tour again, and if their last record proved anything it was that Coldplay seemed like they were finally above that.

Conclusion

Well, that’s our week – again, a questionable one at best and kind of a bad one at worst. Either way, this is a strange array of songs and I do like how the UK Singles Chart subverts everything you’d expect of it so often that chaos becomes the trend, even if not all of it is any good. I guess Best of the Week goes to “Freaks” by Surf Curse, with an Honourable Mention to Elton John’s cover of “It’s a sin” with Years & Years. Surprisingly enough, J. Cole actually doesn’t get Worst of the Week as the album gets a lot worse than that interlude, so he gets a Dishonourable Mention alongside Starboi3’s “Dick” being crowned Worst of the Week, and honestly probably Worst of the Year so far, not that I’m keeping track of that. Here’s this week’s top 10:

What’s coming next week? More J. Cole, Olivia Rodrigo’s newest single and probably – and hopefully – some album tracks from Jorja Smith and Nicki Minaj. For now, though, thanks for reading. It’s a big week next week, and I’ll see you then!

[doctorgerth]

Matchup for @beastofflevance

Hi there, I'm really interested, whom you see fitting: 31,female,straight, 1,70m but chubby. I'm more the listener than the talker, introverted, submissive, daydreamer a bit chaotic and loyal but also stubborn, hate to show weakness, don't talk about emotions and very unforgiving if wronged. Need someone to kick my ass. I'm not very trusting but cherish those who are dear to me. Towards them, I'm caring,supportive and humorous. I like cryptozoology, chickens and find lava hypnotically calming. Here comes the more in-dept description I mentioned, hope it makes things a bit easier for you. English isn't my native tongue so I hope there aren't too many dramatic mistakes in here. As stated before, I'm female 31 and about 1,70m, chubby – therefore the nick Quaily. Zodiacs are Gemini and Dragon and personality is INFJ. I prefer cold temperatures but love to watch fires/lava and prefer Night over day. I'm not the healthiest of persons suffering from mental and physical illnesses but I refuse to let people openly know about it if it is not absolutely necessary – I don't want pampering or pity. I'm introvert, polite, calm, a very good listener and caretaker. I'm very submissive and insecure around most people and can't deal well with mistakes. I tend to rip myself apart mentally about it because either I KNEW better but did it wrong anyway OR because I let someone down. That is something I can't take well: disappointing people. I CAN be attentive but loose interest in stuff pretty fast if it bores me or make me bend myself too much but if it is something really interests me, I'm easily able to give 200% for it. Still, I'm a lazy mutt that needs to get her ass kicked most of the time but in general I am easy to work with if I have someone, who can motivate me and keeps me motivated. I'm a loner, making bad experiences with people in my early childhood, it let me stay away from friendships and social contacts till today. I don't have a big need for physical contact since emotional support and reliability is more important to me – too much physical contact makes me uneasy. Another huge problem is my very high need for freedom. I can't stand it if someone is constantly around me, it stresses me extreme. I hardly fully trust people: just because I say I trust someone, doesn't mean I don't expect a betrayal at some point. That also resulted in a rather dark-ish , morbid view of things; let me also have a point of view, that collides with most people. Still, I tend to think in the motto: “live and let live” as long someone is polite and friendly, I'll stay so as well. Yet, I'm stubborn and very unforgiving if wronged, betrayed or mistreated. What I also can't deal with are honest compliments and honest kindness. People that mean something to me can be counted on one hand with digits to spare. Those few mean everything to me and I support them wherever and with whatever I can. I even empathize with them on a level, that makes me change my mood according to theirs. I might not be able to stand up for myself but for them I can and I will so fiercely. That said, my temper sometimes get a bit too lose – especially when my emotion starts to go high wire - and I say things before my mind starts working but I mostly see my mistake (after a bit of cooling down). If someone is willing to talk to me after that and be forgiving – friend won! In my free time; I love to read (thriller, horror, fantasy, science mostly), draw (creature design, model painting), listen to music, relax, spending time with my animals or just going for a walk. My interests are cryptozoology, toxicology, genetics, quails and military aircraft. I really love the sound of thunderstorms, rain and the look/movement of lava. I tend to hold monologues when alone and cluck like a chicken when totally happy. Yes.. well … I tried to keep it helpful without giving you all the psychological disaster. I left stuff out, that wouldn't be helpful like favorite movies / shows, books etc. but in One Piece, I would be a total fan of the “Sora, Warrior of the sea” - saga. I hope it helped a bit and you can still work with me. Take care of you and thank you for doing this event.

Okay, I’ll admit I was probably a little swayed by your love for this character but I think I did a pretty good job of backing it up! This is my first time ever writing for this character, so I hope I was able to capture his romantic side ok....That being said, I hope you enjoy your matches, darling. Thanks for participating in this event! x (this post is acting funky on mobile...I’m hoping for no errors when I post, plz let me know if there is!)

Your match is...

Akainu (Leo, ESTJ)

This is more of a case of opposites attract because when it comes down to it, you two function and think in totally opposite ways. But! Once you two get past this, you two offer each other unique perspectives that helps you both individually grow as people and thus can improve your relationship. There are plenty of differences that arrive throughout your relationship, but the more you two get to know each other, you’ll start to notice you two have more in common than what meets the eye! You are the only person who gets under his skin in all the best ways, and from falling in love with you, he’s willing to put in the work to make your relationship sustainable because he wants to keep you around. He might not ever express it, but Akainu does want love in his life; someone he can settle down with and maybe have kids if they are willing. And he’s placing all his bets on you!  

Your kind and compassionate nature is a good compliment to his usually gruff and dogmatic persona. And honestly, Akainu could use someone more gentle to counteract his abrasive nature. It always catches him a bit off guard, just how adoring, caring, and loyal you can be towards him, but deep down he is ever thankful. Akainu can be pretty stubborn much like yourself, but when it comes down to it, you two can easily compromise and meet halfway when it comes to disagreements. Because you both want to make this work. On the outside, you two look a bit tense and perhaps a little uninterested in each other. This is only because the both of you are not very expressive with your emotions and refuse to show vulnerability when around others. However, your dynamic totally changes when you two are alone, especially as the relationship continues on and you two learn to trust one another. Perhaps that’s what brings you two together so well. You two are both distrusting due to past traumas and because of this you two feel a bit outcasted from everyone around you. Upon your first interaction, you both just instantly knew that you shared similar pains. This makes Akainu very protective over you and honestly a bit soft for you whether he likes to admit it or not. He sees a lot of his broken self within you and he wants to do everything to prevent you from turning out as bitter as him, especially because he sees how loving you can be once you let someone in. 

When in private, he embraces your softer sides because it relaxes him so much. He respects and understands that you’re not one for physical affection and on the flip side, he himself struggles with offering you emotional support, so I think Akainu resorts to taking care of you in more of an “acts of service” kind of way. He’s not very interested in being overly cuddly with you, but he won’t lie and say he does enjoy holding you in his arms after a long, stressful day of work. You two learn each other’s limits and love languages and your romantic expressions become much easier. You two are able to thrive in a shared household because you both crave organization and order in your lives, so hey, at least you know you can live with the guy! By wanting some one to “kick your ass” I’m assuming you mean someone to call you out on your bullshit and put you in your place when needed -- Akainu is plenty capable of that. Not only this, but he constantly supports you and drives you into being your best self that you can possibly be. Akainu doesn’t settle for half-assery, especially from someone he’s in love with, so he is constantly on you about doing more. This is just his way of motivating you and if it becomes a bit overwhelming, he will learn how to turn it down a notch. He’s just witnessed your powerful moments and how strong-willed you can be, so he doesn’t enjoy seeing you weak or insecure because he is confident you are better than that. 

Overall, the both of you are quite distrusting and unemotional at first, but once you let each other in, you both are fearlessly devoted to one another and that matters way more than physical affection. You two come together over your shared pain and flourish as a couple over your differing perspectives of love, life, and happiness! 

Other potential suitors:

Fujitora (Leo, INFJ) - On the opposite end, I think Fujitora would work well for you because he makes it easy for you to trust him and fall in love with him. He is ever patient with your hesitancy to trust someone and he will do what it takes to prove his loyalty to you, have you trust him wholeheartedly, and make you not regret it! He is also a totally soft man who will unlock your more tender sides and have you completely head over heels in love. Not to mention you two get along very well because you’re both INFJs who think and function on very similar levels. You two have a very deep, emotional connection and he is more than willing to offer you the emotional support you seek in a relationship!

Marco (Libra, ISFJ) - Marco enjoys the reward that comes with winning you over. He’s seen how loving you can be towards others you trust and he wants to be the person you rely on. Much like Fuji, he’s eager to prove that you can trust him and wants to show you that it doesn’t always have to be scary to fall in love with someone. He falls madly in love with you every time you show him your vulnerable side and goes above and beyond to make sure you are always comfortable around him. Your shared introverted nature is a blessing because he never pushes you outside of your comfort zone. Your relationship with Marco is built on lots of trust, vulnerability, and comfort in one another! Marco wouldn’t dare try to disrupt your normalcy or ask you to change for him, he just wants to unlock your soft sides that you keep hidden!

Lucci (Gemini, ISTJ) - More similar to Akainu, Lucci shares your disinterest for physical affection, discussions on emotions, and being vulnerable towards people. So he appreciates that you don’t expect him to be emotional or romantic around you. You two have to fight for trust in one another but once you let each other in, it is truly rewarding as you are intensely loyal to each other alone and can finally embrace what it means to be in love with someone. You two share similar functions and interests while also bringing enough differences to the table to keep your relationship interesting. Lucci is also similar with Akainu in that he doesn’t accept less than the best from you so he will push you and motivate you consistently. 

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

APH College AU: Hong Kong

AU Intro here, AU headcanons are tagged #college au musings.

- Music major. However, he took quite a lot of computer engineering and business classes in high school because China insisted (in classic Asian parent fashion), and he still takes them because he sees them as useful for later life (freelance musician or managing a songwriter or something).

- His reasoning for going into music was that it was a relatively cool and not boring job; he wouldn’t have to always be tied to a computer or an indoor office and had more freedom. I think HK kinda hates getting a job in general because he’s got to Do Very Specific Work and doesn’t have time to do side projects/fool around, but he could deal with being a freelance musician or someone who creates background tracks for other artists, game music, etc. Also chose music to spite Yao, because he was expected to do either business or computer science/engineering (but he’s still pretty thankful for taking a lot of business and engineering classes because he legitimately needs them now)

- Soundcloud artist, and has quite a lot of followers. He does a lot of electronic instrumental mixes (idk how to describe it), but also sings sometimes, with lyrics about taking what you’ve got and running with it, carpe diem, breaking away from norms imposed by elders and parents; a mix of hopeful and rebellious. Never writes love songs, because he thinks it’s rather sappy and would rather express love in other (chill) ways. Doesn’t really write sad songs, but there are occasionally ones about rejection and estrangement.

- Re: soundcloud; he really wants to get in their direct monetization program, but doesn’t want to pay for a pro membership. Complains about it a lot to anyone who’ll listen.

- Memes memes memes memes memes

- Trendy™. He knows all the latest fashions and cool things, often tries to brand himself as the one to go to for fashion advice. He gives good advice most of the time (will tell you if your outfit sucks), but also makes questionable decisions (he stripped in the manga because he said Jackie Chen would do it too). Moral of the story, take some things he says with a grain of salt.

- Internet guy (knows all the hacks). He WILL find a free WiFi network anywhere he goes to avoid paying cellular, and knows way more hotspot passwords than he should via word of mouth and eavesdropping.

- Also, his phone is his lifeline. HK: “What do you mean, you’re taking it away from me?” CHN: “You’re using your phone too much; it’s bad for your eyes!!” HK: “No it isn’t! My eyes are fine; you’re the only one who has contacts in this family!! Give it back Yao!!!”

- Routinely called by other students to fix their computers and stuff, charges 25-75 dollars on average per fix. He is such a stickler with prices and absolutely refuses to go lower than a certain price. When Netherlands comes to him for a repair, they’ll haggle for hours and it’s not fun; Leon will postpone literally anything to keep on bargaining and not give up on his offer/price bar

- Avoids 8 AM classes as much as possible, but has never missed the ones he has to attend

- Learned Cantonese to spite Yao. I think Yao would’ve taught all his siblings (the East Asian squad) Mandarin, but they all picked up another language (or dialect of one) somewhere. Leon learned Cantonese specifically because he was lazy and it uses the same Mandarin characters (traditional vs simplified characters but similar enough) but is pronounced different enough that his brother can’t understand most of what he’s saying.

- Gets really whiney when he’s tired, or when he’s frustrated. Complains a lot.

- When he gets really angry, he becomes really cold. He’ll stop talking as much, but other than that he acts almost the same as usual, and it’s hard for people to pick up that he’s mad. However, everything he says kinda sounds passive aggressive, and he won’t laugh at anything. You have to be the first one to acknowledge something’s wrong, and then he’ll talk.

- Re: anger, it’s really awkward if he won’t talk to you because he’s usually really lighthearted, and seeing him serious is rather unsettling. Plus he can end any conversation when he wants to if he wants to make someone uncomfortable

- Is asked to be the DJ for a lot of college parties. He’s the type of person a lot of people vaguely know about because of just one “thing”, the “thing” being that he’s really good at mixing music and has good taste

- He makes sure everyone who even says hi to him knows about his music and his hobby, so he can get popular. Shouts about his Soundcloud profile (it’s not really bragging, but more like advertising himself)

- Types up all his notes onto his computer, but he uses so much slang that his notes read like weird text messages. His history notes read like a giant reality tv drama, because he tends to put things into modern terms and create his own way of remembering things, if that makes sense.

- Hasn’t touched a pencil in forever; he’s so comfortable in the digital world it’s insane

- Buys luxury brands to show off but is also really cheap, and judges certain products hard because they don’t live up to his very finicky standards (read my last post, it’s my take on his consumerism and is more in depth)

- Rather picky with his food, because he has really high standards. He will complain on and on about a restaurant’s noodle’s being too stale or too salty or something, finds flaws in everything when he wants to.

- B to A range grades, doesn’t stress too much over school. He doesn’t mind missing a couple of assignments (as long as they’re not big projects) and makes up for it with his other work

- Delays stuff until the last minute, but doesn’t panic or anything. It’s basically a habit by now; HK doesn’t mind it because it’s efficient and works for him. He can chill for the evening and then get all his work done between 3-7 am

- His relationship with his professors is okay; they all know his name and that he’s the “music dude” but he’s not too close with any of them; he prefers his friends’ company more. He’d get along with fun or young professors better, since they’re more in touch with “the youth” and he doesn’t see them as boomers

- Average at math, kinda bad at science, it’s just not his thing. He does better in the humanities, although he doesn’t exactly enjoy English and history classes. He’s very good at debating though, so his essays and thesis statements are very strong

- He’s pretty functional on 3 hours of sleep, but loves to sleep in when he can

- Proud of his Asian heritage and shows it!! He sometimes shows up at Asian American Culture Club but isn’t very dedicated, because he thinks some of the meetings are a little cringey

- He’d love to have a last name that isn’t Wang (such as any X starting Chinese surname) because he’d love to watch people struggle to pronounce it and he’d love to correct them (in a polite but simultaneously obnoxious way)

Thanks for reading! sksks these were much more general headcanons that probably could apply to nationverse too, but anyways... Next’ll be Taiwan probably!

[eldritchsurveys]

930.

What may I call you? >> Mordred is fine.

Where are you right now, exactly? >> My bedroom.

Over or under 18? >> I’m over 18.

Have you been watching the Stanley Cup play-offs? (GO BRUINS!) >> No.

Ever believed your house was/is haunted? If yes, why; what happens? >> I lived in a studio in 2009 (my only time living alone) that I suspected had something hanging around. I was the first occupant, though (new building), so it couldn’t have been from a former resident, and I have no idea how else it could have accrued a haunting. Unless the site itself was haunted, I guess. I have no idea what kind of land the building was built on.

The building you live inside; how long ago was it built? >> According to the google search I just did, it was built in 1987, which makes me the same age as the building I live in.

Ever travel internationally? >> No.

If you could go anywhere RIGHT NOW, where would it be? And why? >> I don’t want to go anywhere right now.

Do you fancy someone currently? Tell me about them! >> No.

Ever have a big ol' crush on someone you've never met in person? If so, did you ever tell them you did? >> I’ve been attracted to people I knew online, yes. And yes, I’ve told most of them.

What makes you feel luxurious? >> I’m not sure. I don’t know when I last felt that exact way.

Do you enjoy drinking scotch as much as I do? >> Probably not.

What have you done that makes you proud of yourself? >> Well, I kept playing FFXIV instead of quitting forever in shame and telling myself I’ll never be any good at it. Believe it or not, that’s a milestone.

What makes you envy someone? >> Usually I envy people who seem to have had very little instability or suffering in their lives, because their brains work.

For you, is jealousy something that makes you more sad or angry-feeling? >> If you still mean envy, then it can be either one. I don’t experience jealousy as in relationship jealousy.

Do you get the munchies? >> I don’t smoke, so...

Every been to Germany? If so, what part? >> No.

Do you buy newspapers just for the puzzles? >> No, I have an app for newspaper crosswords.

Describe any tattoos or piercings you may have...? >> I don’t want to, I feel like I’ve described them a million times.

When's the last time you smacked someone's butt? (Or been smacked :P) >> That’s not a thing I do or encourage having done to me.

Do you enjoy making art? If so, what's your style like? >> I don’t make art.

Were you a shy child? >> I don’t know. I was mostly a distant child, I think.

Ever wanna run away with the circus? >> No.

What is the closest object to your feet right now? >> My weighted blanket, which is folded over the second half of the bed because it’s too hot to use.

Reach behind you- do you feel anything? What is it? >> The wall.

Is English your second language? >> No.

Have you ever designed and constructed your own clothing? >> I’ve altered clothing, but not designed and constructed from scratch.

What's the very last digit in your phone number? >> 3.

Is your house an odd or even number? >> This building is even-numbered.

Do you have a favorite superhero? Who? >> I like Iron Man and Doctor Strange. Also, does Promethea count?

What power would you like to receive, if given the option? >> I don’t know. The power of brain that work good.

Ever punch someone in the nose? >> No.

...will you write me a haiku? >> No.

What was the last thing that really delighted you? >> Probably a scene in FFXIV. For example, I did a lot of moogle sidequests today and moogles are fucking adorable.

Do you wear skin-colored clothes? >:C >> I don’t have any brown clothing, no.

Ever eat German cuisine? If so, what'd ya have? >> Yeah, I ate at Bavarian Inn on one of our yearly trips to Frankenmuth (which is a kind of... German-inspired tourist town or something -- we go there every fall for the giant world-famous Christmas store that’s also there). I don’t remember what I ordered, though. German cuisine, while hearty, isn’t dramatic or varied enough for me, though.

Do you have conversations with any animals? >> Well, yeah.

Do you have a little sibling? If so, are you protective of her/him? >> No.

Recommend me a good book? >> I don’t know you and I cannot recommend you a book.

Can you sleep on your back? (I can't, I feel too vulnerable!) >> I can, but I usually end up on my side eventually.

What's the last special thing you did for someone? (Buy, cook, etc.) >> I don’t know.

Did you cook something today? If so, what was it? >> No.

Ever baked ALL day? >> No.

Can you recognize the smell of death? >> A dead person? I mean, I could probably figure out what I’m smelling if I suddenly caught a whiff of a corpse. It seems pretty... singular.

Ever known a mortician or a coroner?? (Now you do!) >> Oh, that’s neat. Mortuary science is so fucking cool. Unfortunately, I don’t actually know you, so I still don’t know any morticians or coroners. :(

What makes you feel good about yourself? >> That’s a good question. I’m working on that.

Could you ever be some type of counselor for kids/teens? >> No.

Do you enjoy getting dressed up for no real reason? >> I imagine that could be fun. I don’t think it’d ever occur to me to do it, though.

What are you afraid of? >> Stuff.

Ever been to a maximum security prison? You, or just visiting? >> No.

Do you think mint toothpaste is too minty? >> I don’t.

How is a raven like a writing desk? >> Heh.

Are you currently eating or drinking something? If so, what? >> Aside from the occasional sip of water, no.

Do you own striped socks? What colors are your favorite ones? >> No.

Black Metal ist Krieg. Agree or Disagree? >> Eh. I mean, I listen to black metal, but I’m not going to make a big deal out of it.

Are there any numbers that have significance to you? >> Yes, 9 and 19.

Do you know how to read palms or tarot or anything else like that? >> I’m passable at reading tarot. For myself, that is.

Do you own any bones or other preserved organic ..things? >> Unfortunately not. Accepting all bone donations.

What do you think about internet piracy? >> I support the mateys.

Do you know anything about Nordic runes? >> I wouldn’t say I know anything about futhark, exactly. The fact that I have Mannaz tattooed on my hand notwithstanding.

How do you feel about children? >> I don’t have a particular feeling about children. It’s all dependent.

Whatcha looking forward to right now? >> Nothing.

How do you feel about clowns? >> I’m indifferent to clowns.

Are any of your friends clown by profession? >> No.

Do you put grated cheese on popcorn? (Yum!) >> I don’t eat popcorn.

Do you thing anyone ever actually gets in trouble for having milkcrates? >> Like, in their home? Who’s going to give a fuck unless a store employee literally saw you take it or something?

Do you tip street performers? (YOU SHOULD.) >> Not usually. I didn’t ask them to be there, I have no obligation to them. I’ll do it if I feel moved to (and if I happen to have cash, which is the other important variable here).

What are your virtues/morals? >> I don’t have a ready list.

What do you smoke, if anything? >> I don’t.

Does being an addict make someone a bad person, in your opinion? >> No.

Have you ever experienced any type of detox? >> No.

Ever been institutionalized? ...was it because of just one pepsi? >> Ha, I haven’t heard that song in a while. Anyway, yeah, I’ve been institutionalised.

Tie up, or be tied up? >> Well, I’m a switch, so.

Ever shoot a gun that wasn't a handgun? Rifle, shotgun, etc? >> No.

Is your mother a really cool lady? >> No.

Ever suddenly find a friend very attractive but had to keep it to yourself? >> Suddenly? That seems like a weird thing to have happen, lol. I imagine someone finally getting glasses after years of seeing everything kind of blurry and putting them on and going, “holy shit, my friend’s hot as fuck!”

What time is it right now? >> 7.42p EST.

Last time it's rained? >> Uh... a couple of nights ago, I think.

Ever been through a deadly natural disaster? >> No. I mean, I was in NYC when Hurricane Sandy came plowing through, but I wasn’t exactly in any of the parts of the city that got hit-hit.

What do you do when you lose power? >> I so rarely lose power that I don’t even know. I guess I would just read, if I could. Or go so deep into boredom that suddenly I become manically creative. They say that happens, or something.

Do you have a boot fetish too? >> No.

Have you ever done home-repair stuff? >> I mean, not really. I don’t live in a home, lmao. You’re supposed to call Maintenance if something needs fixing in these apartments. (I’m willing to bet that if you try fixing something yourself and you fuck up, you’re gonna be payin for it. Better to let Maintenance deal with it. At least if they fuck it up, the complex can deal with the consequences.)

Reason you last used a knife? >> I don’t remember.

Ever tattoo or pierce yourself? What, and how did it turn out? >> Yeah, I’ve pierced various parts of my ears a few times. Most of the time it turned out fine, but eventually all the holes closed up.

Have you ever assisted in a birth? >> No.

Have you ever had a bad trip? >> Yes.

Do you ever yell at your TV/computer/video games? >> Yes.

How long do you take in the shower? >> Like 10 minutes at most.

If you could ask someone ONE thing & get 100% honesty, what would you ask? >> ---

What's the best thing you've ever found in a thrift/second hand shop? >> I don’t know.

What's one skilled craft you like to learn? >> ---

How do you feel about magicians? >> Like, illusionists? I’m indifferent to them. I agree it’s clever work, but I don’t really care about it.

What do you smell like right now? >> I don’t know. Flesh.

Tell me about the last person that made you laugh. >> ---

Who was the last person to really make you feel special? >> ---

[latin-dr-robotnik]

Sonic Movie thoughts (spoilers)

So, after spending some days thinking and writing, I finally finished up rounding up all of my Sonic Movie thoughts. Most of these are lifted from my Spanish-written reviews, both with spoilers and without spoilers, so this is something that I've been cooking for a while now.

First of all, I’m sooooo surprised by this movie! I mean, when I stepped into the theater I expected a 6.5/10 to 7/10 movie, but after watching it I consider it to be a solid 8/10. It was a 9/10 in some moments, but there were some nitpicks of mine that hurt that score. Jim Carrey was a 10/10 through and through, of course.

Another thing that I really loved was how the secondary cast was easily capable of keeping the fun factor up in between Sonic-Tom-Robotnik action sequences. Agent Stone was always a personal highlight (he’s so nice and chill, I want him to wake me up each morning), but characters like Wade, Carl and specially Rachel were just too much fun for what I originally expected to be just throwaway characters. Rachel in particular I felt like she carried the movie between Tom and Sonic reaching SF and the final confrontation, her whole shtick was very simple, but effective.

MAN, THAT ENTIRE BAR SEQUENCE WAS SICK. Sonic watching Hot Rods so hyped was funny, and even though the “he’s older than he looks but don’t give him alcohol” joke was weird, the whole Bar sequence was sick as fuck. I particularly laughed a lot at the mention of a “ZZ Top cover band” playing, which may be a result of my dad actually listening to ZZ Top tributes IRL. But then the bar fight happens, and the way the whole sequence was directed, animated and presented was simply mind blowing. Favorite moment of the entire movie, 10/10 would watch again. Also, Fry reference when Sonic stops time? (Futurama gang rise up)

Kids jokes vs adult jokes were something that low-key caught my attention when watching the movie. I noticed that kids enjoyed Sonic’s silly shenanigans a lot more, while we adults were laughing at each single second Jim Carrey was on screen. Also, Rachel’s jokes had a tendency to not make children laugh that much, but man I would be lying if I didn’t say I laughed my ass off when she spelled D-I-V-O-R-C-E to Maddie. Of course there was going to be a generational breach, but I thought it was interesting to see how kids reacted versus certain jokes in comparison to adults.

Speaking of jokes, I saw lots of critics complaining about the way certain jokes would not stick and were potentially “cringe material”, but to be honest I can’t think about more than two or three instances where a joke really made me slap my face and nod in disagreement. I thought even the sillier jokes were mildly funny, maybe due to the fact I was able to completely shut down my brain since the first minute. Either that or my sense of humor is shit.

Now for a complete change of pace. I thought the final sequence was beautiful, not from a narrative perspective, but for the way the whole thing was set and done. Awesome climax, but I could not take the “emotional” moment of Sonic dying seriously, only because this franchise has that fucking morbid tendency to kill its protagonist, and when I realized what was going on I started to laugh. Not only it was predictable, but to be honest, it’s emotional message went over me big time. Though, like I say on my Spanish review, being predictable, by the numbers and cliché doesn’t mean that it’s bad. Not at all. It’s just... I couldn’t take the scene in the same way some of you took it and reflected upon here on Tumblr.

Though that last point could’ve sounded like a personal gripe, it really wasn’t. I only had three major gripes with the Sonic Movie, and those were: 1) Sonic doing the floss... TWICE; 2) Sanic in 2020, are you serious? (at least it was presented with some decent context, I buy the fact Carl drew that); 3) that whole Olive Garden thing. Those three points do really bring the movie down from that 9/10 spot from me, but think about it: those were the only THREE short moments that I did not like during an 1 hour and 40 minutes movie. That speaks volumes about the quality of the overall project.

This one may be a little more local to me, but I was pleasantly surprised to hear that the Latin Spanish dub of the movie was pretty nice. I’m normally a subs or original language only guy, but I didn’t have any trouble with the way the actors were dubbed. Mario Castañeda has been dubbing Jim Carrey for decades now and he’s still top notch, while Luisito Comunica’s Sonic wasn’t nowhere as annoying as I once feared he could be. I’m still going to watch the movie in English whenever it releases digitally or something.

Last point: would you believe me if I tell you I didn’t want to listen to Speed Me Up until I was there staring at the credits? Because that’s what I did. I didn’t listen to a single Sonic Movie track before going, and while I don’t usually pay too much attention to movies’ OST (I’m way more strict with game OSTs), I thought Speed Me Up was quite nice. Now, don’t expect me to spend my days listening to the OST, but I least I was left a good impression by what I could remember. That 16-bits ending sequence was glorious, too.

So, that was the Sonic Movie to me, an unexpectedly better movie than I thought, and the comeback of the century to be honest. I was one of the people that really feared for it back during the first trailer, so after everything that was done to solve that mess I felt obligated to pay up some tickets (because I invited my best friend to go with me, he’s a true trooper and a big Jim Carrey fan). And so I did, and so I was pleasantly surprised.

Can’t wait for Sonic 2 featuring Tails, which is cool and everything... but when are we getting Amy tho? Maybe a vague enough, Sonic CD-esque plot adaptation? COLLISION CHAOS ON THE BIG SCREEN LIKE GHZ? BIG FUCKING YES if so.

[thebeauregardbros]

== About the Mun

– one / NAME / ALIAS. Will ✨ I also go by “ENSHOKU” on the Smule app and WillofRose a bunch of other places. My best friend nicknamed me “x50 skeleton death lord″ on fb messenger lmao

– two /  BIRTHDAY. 01/27/1996 🎂

– three / ZODIAC SIGN. Aquarius ♒ / Wood Boar 🐖

– four /  HEIGHT.  5′8″ (173cm) I like to wear high heels though, pumping me up to around 6′~6′2″! 👠

– five  /  HOBBIES. Shoe customization and light sewing, cooking/baking, digital art, poetry, & casual gaming. My favorite games are Bayonetta, Dragon Age, Undertale, Distance, SNK and CAPCOM fighting games.. eeh, I could go on - I dabble a bit in every game genre and love all of ‘em. Don’t play too many strategy political games or fast-paced multiplayer shooters though, sorry! 🤷‍♂️

– six /  FAVOURITE COLOURS. #ff005d, #ff9e00, #0bffb1 🎨

– seven / FAVOURITE BOOKS. Kyou Kara Ore Wa!!, Paros no Ken, Black Jack, Rookies, uhhh im sure there’s more i can’t remember SORRY

– eight  /  LAST SONG LISTENED TO. Future Wife Carly Haze 140bpm - Yumi Rose

– nine  /  LAST FILM WATCHED. uhhhh I think it was pan’s labyrinth? or was it like half of blade that I never finished?.. Or did I re-watch enter the spider-verse again recently?.. it’s been months since I’ve watched a movie instead of a tv show fdjkhgfjk, apologies, no idea

– ten  /  INSPIRATION FOR MUSE. Alus is pretty much the exact opposite of any OC I’ve ever played - I tend to make player characters that are very rowdy, vulgar, messy, brutally honest and loud, usually pugilists/monks with the personality of an overly cocky shounen protagonist with no fear or shame, always chaotic neutral types, often fun drunkards. Alus was the first time I made someone who was polite, neat, gentle and unwaveringly kind and good-aligned, and very lawful. At the time I created him in my life I was struggling a lot with ideas of traditional gender identity and frankly I’ve always liked pretty, elegant, romantic aesthetics - Once I realized I could identify as a prince in a fairy tale instead of being forced into a princess role just to have that sweet shoujo aesthetic (and reading Paros no Ken for the first time!), I decided on that aesthetic and went all-out for him to have it. But since I love underdogs, I made him a completely clueless guy who’s forever reaching for an unreachable goal (being royalty, specifically and especially an idea of a good guy fairy tale royalty, or else a perfection incarnate sparkly fairy tale knight in shining armor). I think that when a character is reaching for something that’s pretty much impossible or hopeless for them, I emotionally relate to them a lot. Alus bullshitted from the beginning that he was a hero, or a warrior of light, or a prince in shining armor there to save everybody, and after a very long journey... He pretty much is! And I think that’s extremely beautiful and heartwarming that he’s changed so much after working so hard. And his journey has been full of things that have weathered him into a more realistic idea of these things. I think seeing his foolish optimism somehow exist despite everything horrible that’s happened gives me hope for the world. A few months after creating and playing Alus, I played Undertale for the first time which very dramatically and permanently changed the way I felt morally and how I viewed the world (no joke!) so I decided from then on he’d be a pacifist, or at least an aspiring pacifist. I realized I drew a whole crap ton of inspiration from Vash the Stampede in writing him afterwards. I headcanon they have the same english voice actor too, haha.

His first ever inspiration for his personality was actually Judge Harry T. Stone from the 1980s sitcom Night Court. Talk about an obscure reference! One of Alus’ themes is also a Mel Tormé song, which is a direct reference to Harry’s obsession with the singer in the show. (FYI, if you like/can stand sitcoms with live audience laughter, Night Court is still incredibly funny imo, and really heartwarming when it deals with difficult topics - very humanitarian morality throughout.)

- eleven / GOD KNOWS WHERE IT WENT. god knows..

– twelve  / MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL. thebeauregardbros is pretty self explanatory; this was meant to be a blog to document Alus and Arc’s adventures! Arc doesn’t show up much, so it became more of a casual blog for me ‘n’ Alus. @thefakenarcissist (my art blog) is a bit of a 2edgy4me title I gave myself once I decided to start faking self-confidence until it became real, which has honestly worked for me since I made the URL! I used to be terrified of showing or holding any sort of self confidence in fear it would label me a narcissist (usually a word with a negative connotation.) It’s also a bit of a reference to my favorite Street Fighter character, Vega, who’s musical theme is called “The Masked Narcissist”. He’s definitely a bad type of narcissist though, haha! But yeah, tldr; I think it’s better to fake acting like a goofy narcissist than to not have any confidence at all and act like it’s a normal and fine thing, because it’s not! Saying mean things about yourself is an act of self-harm, and I will always believe that. Alus is the same.

Tagged by: STOLEN BC IM VAIN

Tagging: @mostdangerouspotato @clearsundays @miqo-vynnie @handofcards aND U

[purplesurveys]

568

Have you ever had a really bad haircut? I haven’t had any truly awful ones. The only time I felt ‘meh’ about a haircut was when I went to the salon on my own and told the hairdresser what I wanted myself. I was never good at that kind of stuff, and always prefer being with someone so they can tell me if I’m headed somewhere good or otherwise. Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalogue? I’ve never heard of that. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I’ve only ever used eyeliner at one point in my life and I’ve forgotten every detail about it. It was black, though. Do you wear eyeliner? I used to. I wanted to look nice post-breakup, so I learned how to do makeup to feel good about myself. Was there ever a time in your life when you couldn't cry? I guess when I have HAD to cry in the past, as in for a skit, I couldn’t. But I can be triggered and cry very easily otherwise.

What's your favorite type of yogurt? I hate yogurt, I hate everything that’s sour (except for sour tapes, but even those I can only handle at a certain level of sourness haha). What posters did you have on your wall as a teenager? Wrestling. My mom took them down for no reason eventually, even though I loved having them up on my wall. What are your favorite type of calendars? I mean I don’t obsess over calendars enough to have a favorite type? so a digital one on my phone and laptop is fine with me. I do sometimes wish I was rich enough just to be able to spend on those novelty calendars with Audrey Hepburn photos and Monet paintings in every month, though. Do you have a full-length mirror? I used to but it got transferred to my sister’s room. I don’t mind it though; I don’t use mirrors all that much. When was the last time you bought stamps? Elementary school, probably. Do you have any overdue library books right now? HAH, yes I do actually. It was a book I needed to do a Powerpoint on, and I completely forgot that its due date was on the 4th. The fee is like ₱2/day so I’ll have to pay around ₱8 to ₱10 by next week, depending on when I’ll feel like returning the book. How often do you do laundry? I don’t; my mom prefers to do it herself. Do you have a piggy bank? Maybe as a kid, but I never took it seriously because I didn’t sit well with the fact that I couldn’t see the money I’ve been saving. I’ve stuck with a good old wallet ever since, just so I can know my progress. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? I don’t, actually. I wonder what numbers I used to secure my locks :o What's your favorite DIY crafts youtube channel? Aren’t a lot of those misleading and downright fake? Could you spend hours on pinterest? I’ve never spent more than five minutes at one time on that website/app. Do you own plaid pants? Nah, it’s not really my style. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? I had to wear my school’s uniform for 14 straight years. All I ever wore Monday through Friday for that span of time. What was your high school's mascot? We don’t have a mascot; we just have school colors. What were your high school's team colors? Gold, white, blue. Who were your best friends in high school? Angela, Gabie, Athenna, and Sofie. Others I was close with were Chelsea, Kaira, and Fern. Who was your first boyfriend or girlfriend? Gab. Have you ever been to Chicago? Nope but it’s a dream. If yes, what do you like best about it? The FOOD, the culture, the museums. Have you ever stayed in a hostel? Nope, never been. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. I wouldn’t like sleeping somewhere that felt unnatural, and lying down way high from the floor is definitely one of those things. Do you love camping? I’ve never tried, so I don’t know. Would you rather sleep in a tent or under the stars? Lie under the stars for as long as I can, then pass out in a tent. What insects are you afraid of? Cockroaches. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I haven’t. Are you close with your cousins? I have a good relationship with most of my cousins, mom’s side; but I’m especially close with my eldest cousin, who I essentially view as my older brother. I’m so-so with cousins on my dad’s side - we were very close as kids, but they moved further to the south and I never really get to see them anymore, so we grew more shy as the years passed.  Are you close to any aunts or uncles? I love my mom’s cousins; they’re all younger than her and they’re mostly late Gen X-ers so they’re more hip and cool hahaha. I wouldn’t say we’re close but they are definitely much easier to talk to than other older relatives. Are you close to your grandparents? I seldom get to see my paternal grandparents because they live with the ^ same cousins I’ve since grown quite distant from, so I wouldn’t say I’m close to them but of course I love them all the same. I was very close with my maternal grandfather when he was still alive as I always knew what to do to make him laugh; and I am also crazy for my maternal grandmother, although in the last few years she’s been all about Jesus so sometimes it gets a little draining hearing about how I should always pray and that “God can answer all [my] problems.” Still love her loads, though. Who betrayed your trust? A friend did, many years ago. Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? Bold of you to assume a sibling was my first best friend, because you’re wrong lol. I’d consider this girl we calle Kaye the first one; we were class number buddies in Kinder 1 (I was 4, she was 5) so we got close quickly. She changed schools by Grade 1 and I haven’t talked to her since, but I still remember her fondly. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? I was never allowed at sleepovers when I was a kid. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Sweet-flavored ones. I could never take dry-ass plain/salted popcorn. It has to be something like salted caramel or parmesan. Does your town have a big fountain in it? If we do have one, I’ve never seen it. But I’m pretty sure we don’t. What is your town known for? For being on a mountain and being ridiculously hard to get to because 1) of its winding, accident-prone roads, and 2) IT���S ON A MOUNTAIN. I live in the area of Antipolo just before you start to go up, so I don’t get offended much by the complaints of everyone else; but I’m in solidarity nonetheless with the ~mountain-dwellers~ just because I used to go to school in upper Antipolo. Do you currently live in the city you grew up in? I mostly grew up in Antipolo, so yes I still live here. I did live in Manila in my early childhood but that time was much shorter than the time I’ve spent in my current city. What's one way in which you're behind the times? I hate Minecraft and I hate Fortnite even more. What's one way in which you're still a child? I love coloring books :) What's one way in which you're old? I have a bad back. Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? Definitely feel a bit of both, depending on my mood. The perfect example could be that I can be annoyed seeing younger kids make so much noise, but the next day I can be exactly like those kids making a bunch of noise with my friends. How old are you? I am 21. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? No, not yet. Quite early to think about at this point, really. If yes, what is it? A private dinner would already sound perfect. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Vaping. I mean don’t try it if you haven’t already, but yeah. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Tbh if my mom came home carrying a box of Yellow Cab pizza. AKA something that would NEVER happen; she snobs Yellow Cab cos she thinks they’re too expensive for pizza. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I get my revenge, subtly. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? Our subject Language, which was mandatory back in elementary school, was literally basic English grammar. Not everyone in my former school spoke fluent English so a lot of them weren’t all that good at the subject; but for people like me who had a solid grasp of English and read a lot to begin with, the class was basically a breather from the other more difficult classes. If so, what? ^ I already told ya all about it. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? Skipping grades isn’t a thing in my former school which is honestly a good thing for me cos it would have bred a lot of competition. But students would have to repeat a level if their grades showed that they had to; I wasn’t one of them. What time of day were you born? 9:11 in the evening. What is the best hairstyle you've ever had? I loved my layered hair like 10 years ago. It was probably the only time I did something to my hair that wasn’t just a trim, so I enjoyed that experience. I also liked cutting my hair way, way too short last year; it was a bold move but I liked how it look, as did everyone else. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? I’ve never tried dyeing my hair so I wouldn’t know. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Curly, I think. Do you have bangs? I have baby bangs but they’re just stubborn hair standing around my head lmao but no I don’t have actual bangs. Do you think you look better with bangs or without? I haven’t tried getting bangs as an adult. I did look cute with them as a toddler though :( Do you think you look better with long hair or short? Long. What's your favorite rock band? Paramore, if they still count. Who's your favorite country singer? None. Do you ever listen to Celtic music? No. Do you listen to Hillsong? No. Did you try the unicorn frappuccino, and if yes, were you a fan? No I never tried it. Have you ever won a contest? I won a school quiz bee and an essay writing contest before, but I wouldn’t call the latter legitimate. It was just a writing contest about wrestling held by a local TV station and the three best entries got to win WWE t-shirts haha. Have you ever wanted to be a model, actress, singer, or dancer? I wanted to be a model when I was like 12. No fucking clue what was going through my head at the time. When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Sure. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Nope. Do you wear matching socks? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? Three. Do you own an American flag shirt? No thanks. Do you own a British flag shirt? I don’t. The Union Jack got overused by 2011 Tumblr, honestly. Do you have a seashell collection? I don’t. Aren’t we prohibited from getting those from beaches? That’s the case in the Philippines, anyway. Do you have a rock collection? I do not. Do you decorate for Halloween? We didn’t decorate the house but I celebrated it with friends this year. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Float around and relax. Flamingos or pineapples? ??? Flamingos, I guess? Cacti or seashells? Seashells. Maple tree or palm tree? Palm tree. Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? Dreamcatchers! Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? I probably have at few points. Do you have a crush right now? Yes. What color was your first car? My first and current car is white. Was your first car used or new? I’m actually not sure. It was my dad who purchased it. Do you have a car now? Yep. What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? I never wear any.

[mikahorror]

Original Fiction Fest Days 1-6

I was going to make posts for Original Fiction Fest but I didn’t think to schedule posts and was too lazy to try to find the original prompt post before, so here’s this massive fucking thing 

(I was going to do Frozen Rose as well, but I didn’t even get through the day one prompt before I was like fuck. that LOL)

@originalficfest

Day 1 : Character Day

I’m going to be using characters from The Samiyah Hayden Series

Samiyah is a known as the “only human witch” at the start of the series but humans are capable of knowing magic, supernatural creatures just aren’t supposed to teach them anymore. And that’s a whole thing but my WIP list is a thousand years long okay? She’s an aromantic asexual and I feel like maybe I should tie that into her powers but I’m not aromantic so don’t know if I can do that in a non wtf way. She can manipulate all elements like any witch, but her strongest element is fire.

Jaegar Richter is a werewolf and her “alpha”. He kinda unofficially adopted her at some point. I wanted to go for a chosen family theme in this series because Samiyah’s biological family is actually terrible  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Jaegar is the head of the police force on Seven Bays that’s just meant to placate humanity and present authority in a way that people will accept but The Council ™ actually creates all laws and sends their own enforcement if someone needs to be arrested.

(Ya’ll i’m already fucking tired)

Oliver Linwood (that’s subject to change honestly) is a werewolf alpha that’s introduced in Ever’s Gate. He is bonded to Samiyah but they aren’t in a romantic relationship because I wanted to use the bond in a platonic way. He’s ollllllllld English lol and there’s a reason he ends up in Florida but my WIP list ya’ll, my WIP list! But it’s definitely tied to Delfina and Marceau, two wolves in his pack. 

Katherine Hayden a.k.a the fUCKING WOrST sister you could ever have, but she’s so fun to write. She’s Samiyah’s “baby” sister who is completely spoiled and that never really changes. She is still very willing to do shady shit but now it’s just to protect family

She’s introduced to magic in a very different way than her sister and she also doesn’t learn about the council until she massively fucks up 😅 Also, fun fact, she has the potential to be equally strong in all elements.....

My husband when I told him this:

And last but not least SANTIAGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I clearly have no favorites.....)

Santiago is a primordial werewolf, so he’s never been human but he has a human name because the human Iohan Santiago was a friend who had no family to carry on his name. And yes, that’s a whole thing..... Anyway, he trained Samiyah in magic even though it’s illegal because he feels since he’s older than The Council ™ he shouldn’t have to listen to them. Also he killed one of their members so he just gets a stern talking to lol And that’s actually in Seven Bays because some times I write a thing. Also I made him too strong because he’s ancient and able to use magic unlike werewolves who were turned so I can’t ever really use him because he’d just end everything right there....What have I done!

Day 2 : Romantic Relationships

There are two romantic relationships in this series and they both involve side characters; Katherine and Atian Crowe. Their relationship develops in the main series while the other, Marceau and Delfina, takes place in the short story I linked above and this poem because I didn’t see them as a couple when I originally wrote Hayden Spells Trouble. 

Kat’s romance does not start off good. It literally starts because she wants someone to think of her as a victim and she makes him feel sorry for her. She tries to be good because now she has to maintain that image she created and she’s been raised with that mentality of “appearance is everything”. So right now Atian believes in her 100% and I’m not sure how I want this to go since he has to find out what she did in Ever’s Gate (very willingly too) eventually.

Marceau and Delfina have a fluffier start to their relationship. They meet when she’s running away from the noble lord who captured her and I was going to write the typical historical romance plot because he’s not a noble but he’s wealthy....and French while she’s Spanish, so there would be obstacles to them being together (like her being sent away to another country), but don’t think I will.

Day 3: Nonromantic Relationships

The nonromantic relationships is pretty much everyone else. Like I said, I wanted to focus more on family dynamics and friendships more than anything else. Of course not everyone gets along. Samiyah is pretty much the only one that has a talking relationship with everyone else for most of the series and I realize that kinda falls into the perfect protag that everyone loves trope. But in the current story I’m working on, she has to work on repairing all of them. 

As for everyone else:

Jaeger doesn’t like Santiago because none of his past has been revealed to anyone in the actual story and he doesn’t think Samiyah should trust him. His relationship with Oliver starts off rocky and he doesn’t completely trust him either but is willing to back off unless Oliver shows that he’s a threat to Samiyah. 

Santiago is as protective of Samiyah as Jaegar is and he doesn’t really care that Jaegar doesn’t trust him, but he doesn’t go out of his way to antagonize him usually. He’s willing to stay on the peripheral of Sam’s life and only interfere if no one else can help. The only person he truly, truly hates is Kat but until Sam completely turns her back on her sister he’s not going to do anything to her.

Oliver is weary of both Jaegar and Santiago because Jaegar’s pack is stronger and his is struggling to survive. And pretty much everyone fears Santiago because the guardians are supposed to be impossible to kill because they’re practically gods themselves. And of course he dislikes Kat because not only did she almost get Sam, Jaegar and his pack, as well as himself killed but also a lot of innocent people. Because of that she got his pack exposed. Magical creatures are still being reintroduced to most of humanity so people aren’t aware just how close they really are. 

Needless to say the only person Kat is close to his Atian who marries her. She’s pretty disrespectful to everyone else but realizes pretty quickly Sam is the only thing keeping her alive. So she takes a pretty extreme step to gain access to the power she glimpsed in the Fae world.

Day 4: Quote Day

Here’s a scene that may or may not end up in the final version of The Price of Family, the fifth story in the series but the first full novel length book:

Samiyah stood with her head pressed against the bathroom door. She remembered reaching for the handle and then she'd just...stood there. All her bravado drained instantly as she realized she was right back where she didn't want to be. A different witch asking her to solve the same problem with a different name. So she just stood there, trying to breathe evenly. Eventually she noticed her phone ringing. Just as she opened the door, it stopped. Samiyah made her way into the living room to see her message machine was full. The first was a formal message from Jaegar telling her he noticed her absence and he expected a call whenever she finished doing whatever she'd done. The second, third, fourth, and fifth were still reasonably polite but he was starting to growl his words. After that his words became quiet, menacing, while still repeating the formal words. Was he really that mad at her? Or was the promise of violence for anyone else who might be listening?  

How long was I gone? Samiyah ran to her room and looked at the digital clock on her bedside table. Holy shit! It's midnight! She picked up her jeans from where she'd tossed them on the floor, glad she hadn't thrown them in the hamper yet as she fervently looked for her cellphone. Just as her hand closed around it, the floor tilted towards her and intense grief slammed into her. Samiyah clutched her cell phone and squeezed her eyes shut. She hadn't talked to Jaegar in two years. And they were about to have an argument. It wasn't even her fault! But...there was something else, another layer. Samiyah shook her head to clear it, wiped her eyes and called Jaegar. She still had his number on speed dial.  

And he still had her number in his phone because he picked up instantly. "Get to my office. Now." That was his dad voice, alpha voice, and bad cop voice all rolled into one. It sent a shiver of fear down Samiyah's spine. Jaegar didn't give her a chance to answer before hanging up.  

She sighed and ended the call on her end. With mechanical motions she bounced into her jeans and found the closest pair of sneakers, before leaving the apartment. Samiyah was barely out of the door before she was blinded and someone tried to  wrap their arms around her chest.

"Witch! You're back! You're back! Where did you go? Why?" Lyric bombarded her with questions and she could only wait for it to take a breath.

"Yes, yes, I'm back. Calm down. This is important. I'm going to see a very mad werewolf. Stay here." She gave it a tight hug and opened her apartment door so it could fly by. Lyric stopped to look back at her and she waved it on. Samiyah wanted to go with it, snuggle up and watch some stupid show it was obsessed with or fall into bed. Instead she steeled herself for wherever this night was leading.

Samiyah closed the door to Jaegar's office. No one had stopped her but she could feel the tension. Jaegar sat on the corner of his desk with one arm casually draped over his right knee, and the other hanging at his side.

"Do you know what you did, Samiyah?"

She tried hard not to flinch but failed. "I didn't do it on purpose...."

Jaegar stood and Samiyah immediately dropped into one of the leather chairs.  

"I don't even know how to transport myself!"

Jaegar's eyebrows raised in curiosity, but his anger quickly returned. "That's not what I meant," he snapped. "Oliver called. Did you know that? He called me, nearly unintelligible. He needed to hear you were okay."  

Samiyah started to speak but Jaegar stopped her by stepping forward.  

"Have you spoken to him?"

"I didn't get a chance to do anything," Samiyah said indignantly. "I came back to a full answering machine and you demanding I come see you."

"You haven't spoken to him." Jaegar's voice was soft and there was an emotion, almost despair, that Samiyah had never heard from him before.  

"It's not my fault he thought I was missing!"

"He thinks you're dead." Jaegar paused suddenly. His anger was still there but it was fading. He sat down in the chair next to Samiyah. "No one could feel you. Sam. You've been gone for several hours."  

Samiyah only nodded. She searched for her link to Oliver. Fighting back a cry when it slipped away from her. That damn...whatever he is! Samiyah "grabbed" the link and yanked, reaching into the darkness she felt from Oliver. She felt him...growl? 

Did you- You! Oliver Linwood, I'm trying to apologize.

There was no answer at first, but how many people knew Oliver's last name? He'd told her only because she'd made up the most ridiculous names she could think of. And threatened to keep whichever one annoyed him the most. Samiyah still wasn't sure Oliver was his real first name, but she didn't care. It got his attention and that was all that mattered.

Sam....

Yep. It's me. I didn't know this would happen.  

Just tell me you're okay. Really okay.The resignation in his voice made Samiyah's hands curl into fists. I don't care about the rest.  

I'm okay. Get some rest, we'll talk later.  

Samiyah felt his desperation welling in her chest. She lost count of how many times she promised to stay safe. Ignoring the guilt because she knew she couldn't do that. Finally, looking at Jaegar, Samiyah said, "I got a job. Sorta."

Day 5: Music

I used to have playlists for The Samiyah Hayden Series and Jaded Princess (a short story from Kat’s POV), so here’s some of the songs that was on them.

Kelly Rowland - I’m Dat Chick https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jxwqk9UJI-0

(I wonder who this could possibly be about LOL)

Jasmine Sullivan - Stupid Girls https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to8e-3aZmhg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiU886XiSX4 Imani Chyle - Warrioress

 Benedictum - Within The Solace https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b3acQMoF5w

Day 6 - Pictures

Besides the aesthetic mood boards I already posted I’ve only attempted drawing my own characters twice and I did not do them justice.

I tried to draw Sam but I don’t know how to draw curly hair 🤦

WHO’S MANS IS THIS??!!?!! (he’s Sam’s) I made Oliver look like Gaston but he doesn’t, I swear. It’s more like the long hair dude with brown hair in the moodboard. I just can’t draw worth a crap......

If you read all this (holy shit, first of all) and you’re interested in the series, you can get The Samiyah Hayden Series Vol. 1 for 99¢. It includes edited versions of Seven Bays and Ever’s Gate.   

[whalefairyfandom12]

for him.

Summary: In which Dan paints smiles and studies English at a dead end. His muse takes the from of Phil Lester, a film student at his university, but paint doesn’t last forever and not everyone is who we make them out to be.

A/N: I had said awhile back that I wasn’t going to continue this story for a couple of different reasons, but I’ve been wanting to get back into writing and I thought it would be a nice reintroduction. Given that this is over two years late I’m not even sure if anyone still cares haha, but I hope you enjoy it regardless!

tw; depression, alcohol, suicidal thoughts

Masterpost

Part Two

   The paper sits on top of his laptop, crumpled and severely tea stained. The impending due date is written across the top in black sharpie: June 11.  For the most part creative writing is the only class that doesn’t make him want to rip his hair out, but he’s not convinced that his teacher isn’t a sadist.

  Purple writing stains the back of his hand, the biro ink smudging and dripping onto the paper below him.

   we live in the broken fragments of a dying universe.

  His phone releases a chiming sound, the vibrations making a rattling noise against the surface of his desk. Dan grabs it, desperate for anything to take his mind off of the depressing reality that he might very well fail his course. He wonders what he’d do with the rest of his life if something related to english doesn’t work out. Nothing maybe.

  The text is from Phil, perhaps unsurprisingly. they say only boring people are bored. with that reasoning i must be duller than 50 shades.

   A smile tugging at the corner of his lips despite himself, Dan dials Phil and waits. “E.L. James couldn’t make it so I’m the replacement.”

  “Thank god. I’d rather talk to you any day.”

  “Is my voice your favorite sound?” Dan asks sarcastically.

  “Yes.”

   The smile grows. “In that case it’s worth nothing that your voice is my favorite sound too.”

   “Lucky that,” Phil says, and Dan can hear the accompanying eye roll. “What a coincidence.”

   “Are you finished with your homework?” he asks. There’s a pen sitting beside his computer and he flicks it with his thumb and forefinger. It hits the wall and rolls back towards him, and he repeats the action.

  “The pressing assignments,” Phil says. “You?”

  “Sort of, kind of, not really?”

  “Is the creativity block still pretty bad?”

  “It’s still there,” Dan says, making a face. “By this point I’ve learned to cope but I wouldn’t call it fantastic.”

   “What genre do you like to write?”

   “I gravitate towards realistic fiction but it doesn’t really matter.”

   “Hmm,” Phil’s voice trails off into contemplative silence. “I told you that I would help you cure your creativity block. I promise I haven’t forgotten, it’s just a work in progress.”

   “Don’t worry about it,” Dan says. “It’d be nice to have the block gone but I don’t want it to become your issue.”

   “Who said anything about worrying?” Phil asks. “Who do you think I am, Philip Lester?”

   “Did anyone ever tell you you’re absolutely freaking hilarious?” Dan asks dryly.

   “Hey!” Chris’s shout comes from the living room and he yanks the phone away from his ear, cupping a hand over the microphone. “Cheese or pepperoni?”

  “Why not both?” Dan asks, raising his voice. “We both know you can eat at least one of those without any help.”

   “I’m glad you agree!”

    He repositions the phone. Phil’s saying something, but he can’t quite make out the words. “Sorry, what?”

   “I asked if you had to go.”

   “I should, yeah. Did I relieve your boredom?”

   “I think it’s safe to say that you did, but now I want pizza, too,” Phil says. “Good luck with your story.”

   “Thanks,” Dan says. “I’ll see you then.” He pushes the end call button, shoving his phone in his pocket and turning off the light.

    Chris looks up from his laptop, scowling at the screen. “Have I mentioned before that this thing is utter shit?”

   “Once or twice,” Dan says.

   Chris releases a long breath from between his teeth, eyeing him intently.“Phil?” He nods. “I’m not saying anything but--”

   “Yes you are,” Dan interrupts, subjecting the boy to a glare. “How long did they say on the pizza?”

   “Ten, fifteen minutes tops,” Chris says. “I’m just saying, if you’re planning on making a move you should do it soon.”

    Dan stares at him incredulously. He doesn’t see any point in arguing further, and he retreats to his room; making sure Chris can hear the slam of the door behind him. Even if he was interested in Phil, hypothetically speaking, for those feelings to be reciprocated is about as likely as finishing top of his maths class. There’s no way in hell a notion like that could ever be more than a fleeting fantasy, and he’s never been one for daydreams.

...

    Dan’s seat in Creative Writing is located diagonally by the only window in the classroom. The door is located a short distance away, accessible in ten seconds, maybe less if he’s charged with adrenaline. He has the best seat in the room; if a need for escape presents itself he can make a run for the door or shatter the glass and jump out the window. The drop to the ground isn’t high enough to kill him. He thinks.

   His professor’s giving some lecture about characterization but he stopped listening a while ago. He hopes she doesn’t ask what his story concept is any time in the next millennium, because he doesn’t have one. Despite Phil’s bravado about curing his creativity block the page is as empty as it was a month ago. Christmas break starts in two weeks, and he’s hoping to have the skeleton of his story finished by the end of break.

   He contemplates if the other thirty two students have completed the assignment yet. He thinks that’s unlikely, but he also doubts any of them are quite as far behind as he is. The sparse moments he has to write he’s either too tired to do much more than log onto his computer, or he lacks the inspiration to produce anything with a glimmer of potential.

   Dan scribbles in the margins of the newest handout, previous doodles already littering most of the available white space. He can write nonsensical drivel until every inch of his skin is stained, but finding the right words and phrases long enough for a novel is an impossibility.

  the invisible boy loved the dark so much the shadows rose to swallow him whole. he wondered, if people were fireflies would the world be a brighter place?

  Dan chances a glance at the clock; twenty minutes until his next class. It seems like he’s always counting down to something, the end of class, the end of the day, the days before break, the years before graduation. Sometimes he doesn’t think the countdown is ever going to come to an end. If life’s composed of moments than each moment lasts the number of seconds it takes to end. Everything is composed of numbers, and though they’re cool and aloof and safe there’s a security to them that he’s too afraid venture out of.

   He wonders how long it’ll take before he begins counting down the seconds to his death. Sometimes he think he thinks he’s already started.

   For the end of November the weather is warm enough to allow spending lunch and the time between classes outside, something that Dan wholeheartedly prefers to eating in the cafeteria. Conversations flow more freely, and he can stretch out on the grass and watch the clouds.

   PJ and Phil’s digital storytelling class is the first that’s released, and by the time Dan reaches their usual spot most of the time Chris’s already there. Phil’s sitting with his back against the tree and knees tucked to his chest, PJ and Chris sprawled on the ground in front of him. A sketchbook is perched on his legs, pen uncapped and ink flowing onto the white canvas.

  “Is Louise free yet?” PJ asks.

   “Five minutes,” Dan says, checking his watch and sitting beside Phil. Louise’s French class runs later than anyone else’s, but her next class starts a good half an hour later than his does so he supposes it evens out.

    Sometimes he wishes he saw her more often. The points of their lives that intersect are sporadic; planets brushing and occasionally colliding but never for long. “How was digital storytelling?” he asks.

  “Fine,” PJ says. “Nothing new really, we’re supposed to be drafting a storyboard for a short film. How was English?”

  “Long,” Dan says, pulling a face. “At least break starts soon. That’s something I guess.”

  “PJ and I have an Important Announcement,” Chris says, waving a hand in the air with what he assumes is meant to be an impressive gesture.

  “We do?”

  “Yes,” Chris says, pushing himself up on his elbows and giving PJ a meaningful look.

  “Right,” PJ says, eyes widening in understanding. “We do.”

   “For those of us who aren’t telepathic would you care to clarify?” Dan asks.

   “Hush,” Chris says, raising an admonitory eyebrow. “Patience grasshopper.”

   Dan shakes his head, turning his attention to Phil. The sunlight is filtered through the branches and leaves of the tree overhead, casting parts of his profile in shadow. He thinks that Phil’s the kind of person that deserves to have stories written about him and paintings created in his likeness, yet he doubts there’s an artist alive who could begin to do him justice.

   “It’s a capybara,” Phil says, catching Dan’s eye and tilting the drawing. “A work in progress.”

   “I like it,” Dan says, tracing a careful finger over the drying ink. “Are they your favorite animal?”

    “They’re in the running.” Phil’s eyes slide past Peter, landing on the rapidly approaching figure of Louise. “Hey.”

    “Hello.” Her backpack is tossed on the ground with a dull thumping noise, and she lays on the ground, closing her eyes.

    “Now that everyone’s here I want to make the Important announcement,” Chris says, staggering to his feet.

   “What’re you on about?” Louise asks, her words punctured by a yawn. “I’m too tired for anything that requires more response than a grunt.”

   “PJ and I are dating,” Chris says proudly. Silence meets his words, and a quick glance at everyone confirms that the other two are just as unimpressed as Dan is.

   “Wow, what a surprise,” he says sarcastically. “I never would’ve suspected.”

    Chris looks distinctly wounded. “Thanks mate. Good to have your support as always.”

   “You two have wanted to bang each other for ages,” he snorts. “If you wanted to deliver a shocker this wasn’t it.”

   “Congratulations,” Phil says, offering a thumbs up.

   “Thank you Phil,” Chris says pointedly. He sits down again, crossing his arms wearing an expression akin to a pout.

    “Cheer up,” PJ says, bumping his shoulder. “At least they didn’t throw rotten tomatoes.”

   “That’s tomorrow,” Dan says. He stifles a yawn, checking his phone. He had time to take a nap, but he doesn’t think Chris would agree with the idea.

    “Are you lot going home for break?” PJ asks.

   “I am,” Phil says. There’s no enthusiasm to his words and Dan frowns, giving him a sideways glance.

   “Does that mean you’ll need some entertainment over the holidays?” he asks.

   Phil smiles. “I think some entertainment would be nice.”

   “I’ll also be at home doing nothing,” Dan says. “I have a feeling the entertainment hotline might decide to give you a call.”

  He decides that Phil has the nicest eyes he’s seen, a shade of blue that Van Gogh could only dream of. He’s heard people talk about drowning in eyes before, but Phil’s are more like the sky and Dan thinks he wouldn’t mind letting the anchors snap and float away.

...

    Dan’s favorite bookstore, Ink and Quill, is only a five minute away from the school. Whenever Things become too much it’s his first place of refuge. There's a sofa nestled in front of a fireplace by which a bookshelf is crammed, and it's there he sits and contemplates the meaningless of existence.

   Tuesdays are always his least favorite days. There’s an expectation that Mondays will be bad, and Wednesdays are hump days; if you can survive the first two days you can survive the last few. Thursdays are so close to Fridays and Fridays are the day before the weekend that they’re bearable, but Tuesday serves no purpose other than lengthening the week and adding another day to the work week.

   It’s on one such Tuesday afternoon that Dan finds himself laying on the sofa with his eyes closed. Spots dance across the back of his eyelids, a pale imitation of his own northern lights. He holds the lights closer, as if by squeezing his eyes shut he can make them illuminate his mind.

  “Hey.”

   He opens his eyes, the warmth of Phil’s voice casting it’s own luminescence over the dim lightning from the fire. There’s a skylight directly overhead, and if he tilts his head at the right angle he can see the sky. The torrential downpour outside successfully blocks the sun, projecting a gloomy and melancholy air over everything else. All there is is a mass of gray, and he thinks that if oblivion was to be summed up in a color this would be it.

   “Hi,” he says, leaning against one of the armrests and crossing his legs. Phil sits on the opposite end of the sofa, mimicking his posture. Their legs are pressed together, thighs touching and calves brushing. There’s a distinct warmth to it and for once Dan doesn’t mind the contact. “Fancy meeting you here.”

  “I think I’ve seen you around before,” Phil says, a smile ghosting his face. “How’re you feeling?”

  “Well enough.” Dan shrugs, trying to play the action off as nonchalant. “What about you?”

    Phil raises an eyebrow, as if to call him out on the complete falsity of his response. “Fine,” he answers, the challenge in his voice palpable.

    Dan can’t remember the last time someone paid enough attention to notice the difference between sincerity and empty words. It’s nice--but that still doesn’t mean he’s going to sob into Phil’s shoulder and unload the weight of his problems. “What are you doing here?”

  He’s afraid the question comes off as brusque, but Phil doesn’t show any outward signs of offense. “I was submitting my application,” the boy says.

  “For what?”

  “Exchange program and mentorship,” Phil says, eyes lighting up. “In California.”

    Something ugly has begun to take root. “When would it be?”

    “The next three years. I’d finish my degree there.”

    “A transfer essentially?” Dan asks. He’s not sure why it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room, but it does and he can’t breathe.

    “You could look at it that way,” Phil acknowledges. “I doubt they’ll accept me, but I figured there was nothing to lose in trying.”

    “I hope they accept you,” Dan says, even though no, he really hopes they don’t. He’s aware he’s being incredibly selfish and that there’s no logic to his thinking, but he can’t force himself past the idea of university without Phil.

  “Thanks Dan. You’ll be the first person I’ll tell once I hear something.” Phil gives him an expectant look. “What brings you here?”

   “I like it here,” Dan says. “I usually come here on Tuesdays and think about Things.”

   “Things?”

    “How nothing matters in the end.” He means his words to come off as sarcastic, but he doesn't think he's successful. 

    “What do you mean?”

    Dan shrinks into the sofa. “I was just kidding,” he says. “Never mind.”

    “Well, if you do want to talk about the end of the world I’m always here.”

   Dan tries not to read into that last part too deeply. Phil is still looking at him a little too closely, and he changes the subject. “When are you going home?”

  “Tonight. When are you?”

  “Tomorrow morning,” Dan says. He pushes up his sleeve, glancing at his watch. “I should go and pack. I hope your trip goes well.”

   “Thanks, you too,” Phil says. “Should I keep an ear out for the hotline?”

   “I think you should,” Dan smiles. He shrugs his coat on, rising to his feet. “I’ll see you next year.”

   Phil nods. “Happy Christmas and New Year,” he says. There’s a brief hesitation before he pulls Dan into a hug, letting go almost immediately. Dan thinks he can make out the ghost of a blush on the boy’s face as he opens the door.

   The hug was nicer than he remembers hugs being, and he can’t remember the last time he was disappointed for physical contact to end. Hugs, he comes to the conclusion, should be given more often.

...

     His aunt’s house is always too much of something. Too much noise, too much smalltalk, too much of the same questions and answers over and over again until he finds the quietest corner that he can and retreats. Everyone from his grandparents to cousins to family friends crowd the already cramped space of the living room, spilling out into the dining room and even upstairs.

   It’s impossible to not feel claustrophobic. He’s found that if he spends enough time buried in other people that the walls feel like they’re closing in. There’s no escape from the endless conversation and observation, and in a way it reminds him of school. Always under a microscope, where each and every movement and word is subject to dissection and offense.

    After answering yet another question about uni good, fine, yes, no, Dan slips down to the basement in the hopes that he might find it at least relatively empty. Because the universe hates him, two of his cousins are battling to the death with light sabers and knocking over every piece of furniture in the process. He lets the door slam behind him, leaving before he can be blamed for any of the destruction.

   The upstairs is too loud and too chaotic for any semblance of solitude, and after giving the downstairs a final check he votes for going outside. He’s heard there’s something called grass. From the first floor there are two ways outside--a sliding glass door that leads to the porch and the front door connected to the kitchen.

    The porch door is the least mobbed, and he begins to make his way over. A poke to the back of his neck and a demand to join a card game puts a temporary halt to his escape, and he makes up a lie about needing to get a drink of water before making a run for it. Dan’s not sure if it’s a failure of memory or something else, but he doesn’t remember family reunions ever being quite this bad. The door slides open easily enough, and he steps outside.

   The sky is clear for the most part, and a slight chill sends a puff of condensation into the air every time he exhales. His decision to not bring a coat is one that he’s now regretting, but it’s not worth going back inside to grab it. The wooden slats of the porch are damp and cold to the touch, and he steps off and settles in the grass. The walls aren’t enough to mute the noise, although they make it relatively bearable.

   He closes his eyes, attempting to return his breathing to a somewhat regular pace. A quiet buzzing interrupts his train of thought, and he cracks open an eyelid. He fumbles for his phone, clumsily swiping without bothering to check the caller I.D. “Hello?”

   “Hey.”

  The smile that crosses Dan’s face at Phil’s greeting feels ridiculous, and he’s glad the dark and solitude conceal the expression from analyzation. “Enjoying your festivities?”

    “Not particularly. You?”

   “No. Merry Christmas.” There’s no enthusiasm in Phil’s statement, and there’s even less in Dan’s reply.

   “You too. How’s break been?”

   “I’m actually looking forward to starting school again which I think says a lot.”

   “Is it really that bad?” Dan asks.

   “I might be slightly dramatic,” Phil says. “Family gatherings were never really my favorite thing, but it could always be worse. How’re you?”

   “About the same as you. At least on campus there’s somewhere to hide that’s not outside.”

   “After we get back you should come over,” Phil says, the statement slightly distorted over the sudden influx of noise. “I still have to give you your present.

   “Sure, sounds like a plan.” Dan agrees. He neglects to mention that Phil’s gift is still in the development stages.

  “What's your favorite color?”

  “Blue,” Dan says. “Like the sky. You?”

  “Purple. Like an aubergine.” The static of a loud crash cuts through Phil’s next phrase.

  “What did you say?”

   “I have to go, sorry,” Phil says. “My little sister almost set the table cloth on fire. I’ll talk to you later.” The lines dies before Dan can say anything in response, and he stares at his phone until the screen goes black. He would never admit it, but out of all of the presents he’s gotten so far hearing Phil’s voice is undoubtedly the best one yet.

...

  The worst part of packing all of his family in one house is the inevitable lack of sleep. Dan’s out like a light the moment his head hits the pillow, and it feels like mere seconds have passed before his eyelids are pried open. Literally.

   “Play with me!” Kat, his younger cousin, is jumping on the bed. Her fingers are millimeters away from Dan’s eyes, their attack momentarily paused.

  Dan groans, batting away her hands. He rubs his eyes, blinking a few times to ensure that nothing's broken. “What time is it?”

  Kat shrugs, blonde hair forming a mane around her face. “Time for you to wake up!”

   “I am awake.” Dan buries his face back in his pillow. “And now I'm asleep.”

  He can hear Kat’s pout, sense her arms crossing and bottom lip beginning to jut out. “Why are grown ups so boring?”

   Dan sighs, rolling over to face his cousin. “Why don't you go wake up your parents?” Normally he’d feel guilty about pawning Kat off on her parents at some some ungodly hour in the morning, but he's too tired to feel anything but exhaustion.

  “Because.” Kat begins to jump on the bed, her words falling into time with her movements. “Because because because because because--”

  “If you leave me alone I promise I’ll play with you in a few hours,” Dan coaxes. “I’ll even give you an extra cookie at lunch today.”

  Kat mulls his offer, head tilting to one side. “Okay,” she agrees, sliding off the bed. She totters towards the exit, the door slamming shut behind her. Dan lets the silence envelop him, nestling into the quiet and letting it fill his head overflowing.

    He stumbles downstairs a few hours later, showered, dressed, and hungry. His mum is at the stove, a growing plate of pancakes sitting on the counter beside her. She hums a greeting, shooting him a warning glance.

  “Touch those pancakes and you won’t be getting any,” she says threateningly, waving the spatula at him. In a competition for the best puppy dog eyes Dan would be a long ways away from the winner, but they’d always worked on his mum.

  “I won’t tell Kat,” he wheedles.

  His mum sighs, gesturing for him to open his mouth. She casts a furtive glance around the room, tossing one into the waiting trap. “You’d better not.”

  “Thanks mum,” Dan says brightly. He puts a hand over his mouth to hide his chewing. Whatever else could be said about his mum, there was no denying that she knew how to cook. He had never been a fan of family reunions, but he supposes they’re not all bad.

...

   The bus had arrived back on campus at three forty one in the morning. He’d exchanged a sleepy greeting with Chris who’d arrived the day prior before dumping his bags on the ground. He sat down at his desk and pulled out a sheet of paper, beginning to brainstorm ideas for Phil’s present.

   The current beginnings of said present sits on top of his desk, unfinished and a complete disaster even four hours later. Dan stares at it for a moment, hoping that today will be the day that his telepathic abilities kick in and the gift will magically finish itself. Disappointingly, though admittedly unsurprisingly, the paper remains in shards and the cardboard in mangled sections. A quick knock breaks his concentration, and before he can say anything in response the door opens.

   “Why bother knocking if you’re going to come in anyway?” Dan asks, swiveling in his chair. Chris stands in the doorway, holding a plate of cookies and balancing a glass of milk in the other hand.

   He shoots a vaguely horrified look at Dan’s project. “The hell is that supposed to be?” The question reflects confusion and slight disgust, which Dan thinks is probably the appropriate reaction.

   “Your guess is as good as mine,” he says grimly. “It was supposed to be a book, now I honestly have no idea.” In theory his idea wasn’t completely terrible. Originally he’d wanted to write something, but he’s resorted to binding a book for Phil to write his thoughts down in and giving him a fountain pen. He’ll be the first to admit it’s not the most creative idea out there, but it’s always harder to come up with a gift for someone you care about.

   “Is that for Phil?” Chris asks. He enters the room and sits on the edge of Dan’s bed, setting the plate and glass on his desk. “Christmas present?”

   “Yeah. What are you getting PJ?”

   “Camera lens,” Chris says. “He won’t shut up about it--contrary to common belief I can take a hint.” A quiet smile steals the bite from his words, and Dan would tease him about it if he had the energy.

   “Are those for me?” he asks, jerking his chin towards the cookies.

   “No,” Chris says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I brought food all the way to your room because I thought it would be a nice centerpiece.”

   Dan grabs a cookie off the top, the chocolate burning his tongue and bursting in his mouth. He lets his eyes flutter shut, the slight bitterness of the chocolate cut by the sugar in the dough. The contrast is perfect, and he doesn’t think he’s ever tasted anything so delicious. “When you asked me about moving in together I want you to know I only said yes for the food.”

   “What’s your idea?” Chris asks.

   “I wanted to bind a book for him to write his ideas in,” Dan says. “It’s kind of a mess right now.” He reaches for his duffel bag, unzipping one of the pouches and rooting around for a moment before emerging triumphantly with a wrapped parcel. “This is yours.”

   Chris shakes it experimentally. “Is it explosives? I bet it is.”

  “It’s not explosives,” Dan says. “I pay rent too.”

   Chris tears off the wrapping paper, face lighting up. “You’re kidding me.”

    “Merry Christmas.” Dan’s almost knocked over by the enthusiasm behind the boy’s hug. He can’t help but think it’s not nearly as nice as Phil’s. “Everyone was really uncreative this year and we all saved up. Trust me, it’s a completely selfish gift. I’m tired of hearing you complain about your old laptop all of the time.”

    “Thank you. Your gift’s coming,” Chris says, straightening. “Shipping hates me.” He points to Phil’s present. “I think you should try hot gluing the fabric to the cover instead,” he suggests. “It’ll hold better.”

   “That’s actually a good idea,” Dan says.

   “I’m full of them,” Chris moves towards the door, waggling his eyebrows. “It’s why you love me.”

   “I’ll have to ask PJ’s opinion on that one.”

   “Only if you let me ask Phil’s.” He ducks the glue stick Dan throws in his general direction, his laughter following him down the hall.

[todokori-kun]

The

 queen is back and I’m so freaking happy <3

‘annoyed’ nothing you say is annoying ok, I’m actually just really relieved and happy that I’m helping in any way at all. Also you listen to my rambling all the time and you supported me with my anxiety (you have no idea how much our convos helped after I first saw a doctor about it and was feeling really confused about what to do) so ‘what did I do to deserve you’ is probably what I should be saying to you.

Tbh when things are as serious as you’ve described then you’re definitely not overreacting. Like I said before, I’m always ready to listen/talk when you need to. And you don’t have to stress about replies; I honestly don’t mind at all as long as you’re ok.

Thank you Queen Luna you’re the best ;-;

Also, good news and bad news:

Bad news- A bit after I sent the last message mom apparently found out about Tumblr and decided that I probably shouldn’t get an account here because of all the NSFW content. I get why she’s worried so I guess I won’t be getting an account here for a while.

Good news- HOWEVER, I was chatting with someone on ao3 and they asked if we could move our convo somewhere else. They recommended something called Discord so I got an account there. If you’ve never heard of Discord it’s basically a voice and text chat system usually used by gamers, but it seems to be pretty popular among non-gamers too. PMing is possible there :D (The only flaw is that you can’t send very long messages, so you have to send multiple short ones, which is a bit annoying…but otherwise it’s pretty neat so maybe we can try it if you’re ok with that?)

XD yeah that’s actually pretty accurate.

*reads Luna’s message*

*inhale*

UM. DO YOU HAvE ANY IDEA HOW AMAZING YOU ARE. LET ME TRY TO BE A GOOD, SUPPORTIVE FRIEND AND TELL YOU

Yep it was one of the grossest things that ever happened to me OTL I’m still swimming but I’m taking a long break right now- a break that started because my little sister broke her toe and we were basically stuck at home taking care of her (the pool is a bit far for me to go on my own so if mom’s stuck at home so am I), and then got longer because the pool’s old and some things had to be ‘fixed’, and then got even longer because my coach is getting married (just reread that and realized that I sound super annoyed, I’m actually not, I have no problem with my coach getting married XD). I’ll probably start again around next month, though :)

Thanks ^^

Oooh are you a comic fan??? I haven’t read any superhero comics because there seem to be so many AUs(?)/different timelines so trying to figure out where to start is really confusing, plus I actually sorta prefer manga/manhwa art styles (not that wester comics are bad- a lot of them have really good art too, I just personally prefer the manga/manhwa styles (especially for the panels). Also the ecchi-ish costumes/anatomy for almost every single female superhero gets a bit ridiculous sometimes lol). Some of them seem really fun, though, and I’d like to try them out someday…

It’s really cool that you’ve been a fan of T'challa for so long, it must’ve been even more exciting to see him in the movie :D

Imagine everyone watching The Winter Soldier together. Then the  'brainwashed bucky’ scenes start.

Illumi: *stares intently at the screen*

Illumi: I see no problem with this.

Watching Civil War and Leorio goes Dad Mode and covers Gon’s and Killua’s eyes when Hisoka starts making…innappropriate…noises during the fight scenes

(Hisoka low-key writing reader insert lemons about various MCU heroes. Most likely Natasha (because she’s a lot like Machi, his only female crush so far), Bruce (how Hisoka would love to unleash the beast), Thor (he’s a literal GOD imagine how badly he could mess Hisoka up *schwing*), Wanda, and Vision (he probably liked Loki too before Loki got beat up by the Hulk and Hisoka was like ‘oh I have a new senpai’)

Then Illumi gets Milluki (his tech genius little brother) to hack into Hisoka’s computer for info and is like 'what is this Hisoka I do not understand why you derive pleasure from this trash’)

Everyone thinks Gon should relate to Tony on a personal level but he doesn’t, because despite being a sunshine angel he’s also a freaking weird kid who doesn’t hate Ging. At all. (Though that might have something to do with the fact that he doesn’t even consider Ging his parent in the first place; he never even calls him 'dad’ or 'my father’)

Killua, on the other hand, relates to Bucky a bit too much and thinks HYDRA is basically the Zoldyck family.

Everybody’s Team Cap except for Illumi, who’s Team Iron Man (“Why would you want to break the rules?”), and then Hisoka randomly shows up like 'Team Hulk ;)’

Every time Howard Stark is mentioned everyone just stares at Ging, who shifts uncomfortably

(Yeah did I tell you about the time Leorio punched Ging for being a trash dad?)

OMG. Thank you for that. I’ve seen a lot of 'Hisoka as the clown from the 'It’ movie’ posts on tumblr but never any fanart for that idea. Run, Gon. Run.

I’m considering teaching myself to animate just to make those animatics XD

(Also, random thing: it’s Chuseok over here (basically like the Korean version of Thanksgiving, I guess?) and usually, people recieve money from older relatives during holidays like this in Korea. I got about 80 dollars (50 from my maternal grandparents, 10 from my paternal grandfather and 20 from my uncle) so I’m debating on what to spend it on: It’s either a tablet so I can learn how to do digital art (I’m thinking about polishing my drawing skills for a while and then making a webcomic. My parents support this so they’re willing to pay a little extra for a tablet) or a ukulele (I like the piano but I realized a while ago that it’d be great to have an instrument that I can carry around, so I did some research and the ukulele seems good. I really like the sound so I’m willing to put some effort into learning it). Idk which one I should choose, though. Technically the tablet should be my priority but I also like the ukulele…

(and idek why I mentioned this either, guess the talk about animating reminded me of the tablet lol))

I thrive on angst. Tragedy fuels me. (But tbh HxH is a LOT darker than I was prepared for. I’m currently shipping an ant king with a genius human girl and I know from spoilers that they’re both going to die)

Yeah, she’s alive :D but apparently Kaneki is now 'dead’ (though I don’t think he is really, if Ishida kills him off now (after all the stuff with Hide? All the character development Ken hasn’t gotten yet? When he still hasn’t talked about anything with Shuu or Hinami or even Akira?) and gives us a new protagonist or something I might finally rage-quit this series.

Or not, since with all the Touken stuff and Kaneki being sorta insensitive ever since he became the OEK…maybe a new protagonist is what we need?). I was liking all the parallels with Arima in the first series until this, because it was just…um. I think my main problem with the whole thing is the freakng PACING because it just feels so clunky and awkward. This is probably one of those chapters that will be really good if Ishida somehow manages to connect it with the next chapters and has everything make sense later, but if he doesn’t do it well it’s going to suck forever OTL

At least TG finally confirmed Naki’s death, though. I mean, the ideal situation for me is if he never died in the first place, but at least a confirmed death is better than Ishida suddenly bringing him back to life after that panel with Yamori. And his death scene was handled well. (Now please just tell me that he, Kanae and Hairu aren’t coming back as Kanou-Furuta zombies and I will be semi-satisfied)

Also AOT if you haven’t read the new chapter yet spoilers but

(The-Reiner-Eren reunion I HAVE WAITED SO. LONG FOR THIS

Also Eren’s grandad ;-;

And maybe we’ll finally be seeing Annie again soon since she’s been appearing in so many flashbacks and Reiner’s probably going to ask about her if he and Eren get to actually talk

Love those hints about something finally starting to change

ANOTHER PERSON FROM MIKASA’S CLAN? I hope we see this lady again, she’s lovely

I can’t believe how much the art has improved, it actually looks GOOD now 0.0)

Aw, that’s ok! I’ll be looking forward to seeing it when you get a new skirt :D

Yeah, I’m really excited for OC’s name too…must be something important if they’re keeping it hidden for this long. I guess it’s French (or a word from some other non-English language) since 'Ciel’ is French for 'Sky’…and it probably has a meaning related to the sky since they’re twins. Idk. Maybe it’s the word for 'star’ ('etoile’) since stars are also a big thing in this arc?

Looking forward to your reaction! I haven’t read the novel yet but from what I know it sounds great :D (also I cannot resist the L + Naomi duo even if they never actually interacted in manga/anime canon)

Btw, is it ok if I ask how far you’ve gotten with the DN anime?

(Also fun fact: Ryuk was originally designed to look like a handsome young man (an 'attractive rock star’, in the words of DN’s creators. You can find a pic of his original design on google). His design was changed because the creators felt like he was overshadowing Light XD

But also, I just found a post on tumblr that said Takeshi Obata (DN’s artist) mentioned that Ryuk’s face in canon could just be a mask to hide his true appearance…which means that he could technically still look like that in canon. Wow. I actually think I have the book where it says Obata mentioned that, I have to go and check it now lol)

Watch it if you dare and prepare to weep over all the wasted potential, because now that I read/watch more about it I guess the saddest thing is that it COULD have been great. I mean, like I said, the visuals are REALLY good, L’s actor could have been a good L if not for the bad script, Ryuk’s actor/design were also super great (it’s just his role in the movie and his motivations they messed up ;-;)…

I don’t watch Avatar (I’d like to when I have the time, though, because it seems like a great show) but I’ve heard of that movie and tbh I can’t even.

Ty :D (Ayy the queen said I’d make a cute Peridot *fangirls*

You’re also my closest friend right now and I love talking to you so much <3 thank you for everything Luna.)

See this is why you’re awesome. Thank you so much ;-; (and what, did Queen Luna mention me to her parents. Did I make a good impression. Omg. (jk, jk lol))

Also: I’d like to rec a song to you, it’s called 'Lovely’ by Twenty One Pilots :D

Oh look I actually replied within a week :’)

OK ILL START W DISORD BC IM EXCITE. I already have one, from a while ago, my # is 5773! So add me whenever you want ^^ ((But please just send me a short message here, cause I turned notifs off for it, so i can turn them on again ^^)) Well, uh, here’s the thing about short messages.  If a site/app has an instant message feature, you can bet I’ll be the one to split a sentence into 10 separate messages for dramatic effect… So, uh, prepare to have 42 new messages instead of like 4 waiting when you open the app ^^

I never ever ever have any problems with listening to you. I just appreciate you’re comfortable enough with me to be able to come to me. Honestly, I truly appreciate you in my life, especially considering that you can always reassure me with your words ^^ Truly a writer’s talent :p

Well, I’m going to a psychologist soon, so we’ll see what they’ll say. Idk tho, I dont think I even care anymore. I just want this stomach thing to pass as soon as possible.

Ouch, I hope your sister is better now… I’ve never broken anything so I wouldn’t know the feeling. Aww, coaches getting married is actually the cutest thing ever XD My archery coach got married a few years back and she was practically glowing.  Ah, if you don’t mind me asking, do you have a particular stroke you specialise in or do you just swim everything? 

I could say the same about comic/manga styles. Tbh, I don’t really consider myself a comic fan? When I was a kid, I used to buy the children’s comics to ward off boredom, but never really continued after I got into reading actual books. Black Panther happened to be among those comics and I remembered him when they mentioned T’Challa in CW. I wonder if i still have those old comics somewhere… But yeah, i was pretty excited when they mentioned him XD

That viewing actually sounds amazing… I get the feeling they’d all want to do an in depth analyzation of the characters? (But idk i don’t really know the characters that well) except for Hisoka, who’s probably just schwinging around being creepy per usual. I’m torn between wanting to read those lemons and just backing the fuck away…. Probably read like a paragraph and then set everything on fire. Yeah, that sounds good. 

I presume you’re not gonna watch IT? Random, but i thought of it bc of the fanart… Tbh I won’t watch it either. I’ve never watched a single horror movie in my life and i intend to keep it that way. Unless you count Coraline as horror, which I actually would in some ways? Idk tho, that movie traumatised me. Not even joking when I say I occasionally have nightmares related to it. Advice; if you haven’t, DO NOT WATCH CORALINE. Don’t be fooled by the fact that it’s a cartoon. I mean 9 is a cartoon, but it’s also freaking dark. HAPPY TREE FRIENDS IS A CARTOON AND I WOULDNT TOUCH THE VIDEOS WITH A 9 FOOT POLE.  Long story short, cartoons are not a joke.

For some reason I confused the Ukulele with a Lute and was like ‘I’m not gonna judge, but… why?’ then i actually googled it and realised I’m an idiot.  But, um, I can’t say anything other than it’s your choice and you should do whatever would make you happier? There’s that trick of throwing a penny in the air and if you’re disappointed when it lands heads/tails, you know you want the other one. Idk, tho, both options sound equally nice!

… HxH gets weirder every time you tell me about it

KANEKI IS WHAT NOW Um, okay then.... alrighty...

guess who dropped TG again

WELL FUCK IM SCREAMING ABOUT THE NEW CHAPTER WHOAH EREN’T GRAMPA WHOAH THE REUNION However, the best part is Reiner acting like a dad during the festival

Oooh Etoile would be interesting!

I’m still at the ep where L dies ;-; I haven’t had the time to move forward, so I’m hoping I’ll be able to watch some during this weekend

Well, uh. My mom came into my room while I was writing this and had to ask me why i was crying (I’m pretty sure she thought I was having one of my all-time-lows again). The reason why I was actually crying? The song. Words can’t express my gratitude. I’d download it, but tbh I feel like I’ll start ugly sobbing again every time I listen to it...

random note, i started going to school by train! It’s actually a lot nicer than the bus and cheaper XD Idk why i put this here but yay

[jamiededes]

“Poetry is at its basic level language at play. I try not to dictate the rules of that play.” gary lundy

gary’s style is an engaging cross between the spontaneity of artistic improvisation and a steady flow of interior monologue. His often fragmented word-play, draws us inescapably into his haunted world. His is singular voice that pulls us up by the heartstrings as he scrutinizes his life, his loves, and the ragged edges of longing. He is exquisitely open in his explorations of grief and vulnerability, facing the discordant notes head on. I think what impressed me most about gary’s writing is a virtuosity completely and refreshingly unpretentious and honest.  Recommended.

when voices detach themselves is the first of two chapbooks by gary lundy published by Is a Rose Press, which focuses on “poetry, experimental writing, hybrid, and more.”  when voices detach themselves was published in 2013 and the second, heartbreak elopes into a kind of forgiving was published in 2016. These are among several of gary’s published collections. The others are detailed in his bio, which closes this post.

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*****

when voices detach themselves, when I imagine I am listenting to their speakers sudden impact of invisibility, of having lost the way, even through insistence attempts to sidestep a bouncing young noise. can it be. that through thought i confirm my being. yet does it too proceed the thought. can it not outlast loss.

in another location two people unwinder their bodies from the previous nights encounter, move to opposites sides of the room.

INTERVIEW

JAMIE: I’m sure you’ve had many questions from your students, readers, and interviewers over the years. Is there any question about poetry in general and/or your poetry specifically that  you wish someone would ask and what would be your answer to that question?

GARY: In my experience people don’t tend to ask questions about poetry. Certainly many want to tell me what poetry can and can’t be. From the admonition that this or that word is overused and should be avoided, to “we have a moral obligation to protect the world from bad poetry.” This last one came after I refused to talk about those poets who didn’t inspire or compel, etc. From a well known poet who we had gathered to meet and greet, if you will.

I love poetry, even those pieces or books that don’t generate for me interest. I love language and words equally. Poetry is at its basic level language at play. I try not to dictate the rules of that play.

JAMIE: Your style is certainly engaging and rather singular, improvisational and fragmented like the voices about which you write in when voices detach themselves. Did it arrive one day in a flash or is it something that evolved and is perhaps still evolving? 

GARY: Thank you. For this particular book I returned to poems I’d written a few years earlier and then left behind. When I reintroduced myself to them i realized that in their fragmented way they fit together. So I listened and then the book was reallized.

My writing practice is pretty consistent in that I usually write every day. But I don’t begin with a sense of where the writing is going to go. That is, I have little interest in dictating where the words lead. Rather, I’ll jot something down, a fragment or phrase and then what’s on the page begins to dictate direction.

Naturally, when I first began to explore writing poetry I followed those dictates of teachers and peers. I worked to write the poem expected, the poem of rules. I also wrote specifically out of or from my life experiences. It was a good practice to be sure.

However, eventually I began to understand that such writing, for me of course, was more a group writing than writing as it came to me. My life did not seem to fit easily into the formulas I’d been encouraged to use. Perhaps because I hadn’t really begun to recognize my queer identity, but my world was not constructed within easy narrative or linear structure. Rather, it was filled with false starts, disconcerting interruptions, and a sense of loss and failure. I began to listen to that rather than any central sense of self. Naturally this is an ongoing and delightful adventure in discovering where the writing wants to go. 

JAMIE: You write about the discordant notes in life, the fears, the jolts that come out of nowhere, the losses, and the distancing that seems to happen between lovers and friends, and the way expectations and outcomes don’t necessarily jive … all the aches and pains of life, the vulnerabilities. Is there healing for you in the writing, in the naming? Is your hope – expectation – that there might be some healing for the reader?

GARY: This is an intriguing question. When I write I have little expectation past the writing as it unfolds. Certainly, when I return to what has been written, especially after a few months or years, I suppose there is some kind of healing; although, I’d prefer insight. A few years ago I moved to Providence, Rhode Island, to be with a lover and friends. It was a good experience; however, it was also not so good. After I returned to Montana I reread my first full length collection, heartbreak elopes into a kind of forgiving. I was preparing to give a reading and hadn’t really thought very much about the poems. However, as i read through the pieces, all written before my move, there were warnings throughout. I could see that however it came, evidently I knew I shouldn’t make the move. The poems were written a couple years earlier. Curious to be sure. While I try to pay attention to such meanings in my poetry, unfortunately, for the most part I miss them consistently.

I have no expectation for my reader, nor of even having a reader. I am convinced that if there is a reader they will find their own sense of what’s going on in the poem as they listen to the poem. While writing certainly and clearly assumes a reader, I don’t. I write for the pleasure of writing, and, perhaps, to keep me in some way grounded.

JAMIE: I suspect you’ve been writing since high school and college and I know you have quite a body of published work.  What’s up next? 

GARY: Well, to get some few pieces published in magazines and journals; perhaps land another book or two. But foremost is simply to continue writing, and reading, to continue learning about those facets of my compound and complex sense of self and world.

POEMS

as i have to do i bring this to a more personal level. certainly in my writing part of the task has been to find a form that not only expresses what i have lived. but the stories of what i can live. feel certain that every marginalized person has this task. or remains subordinate and enslaved. yet as i struggle with the how of actualizing this. or getting to the story not in unremarkable and familiar narrative. i realize how troubling and difficult it is.

i apologize for loading you down with images. just excited to get closer to present. and maybe a future.

****

as out of remarkable past a slight look aside peripheral desire another over written story lies indeed it may only be overdue bills envelopes stacked against the south wall last years dishes long the growing mold

****

you came to me later after other women had taught me their possibility and mine while men kept warning their usual mantra it is a mans world but it isn’t after all and a reality exists outside even their peripheral gaze even outside their understanding a desire full of exception and expectation for a different kind of language a different kind of life where ego shrinks to the size of a pea and life become quite suddenly more about more than usual

gary’s poetry is shared here with permission

© gary lundy

RELATED:

reading the signs can be terrifying, gary lundy, Cutbank, The Literary Journal of the University of Montana

gary lundy has published five chapbooks, the two most recent, and still in print, when voices detach themselves (Is A Rose Press, 2013), and at | with (Locofo Chaps, 2017), and has two book length collections, heartbreak elopes into a kind of forgiving (Is A Rose Press, 2016); and each room echoes absence (Foothills Publishing, 2018). He has published his writing throughout the US as well as in Canada, Czeck Republic, and Israel. Most recently his poems have appeared in Fence, Meta/Phor(e)/Play, Cutbank: Weekly Flash Prose & Prose Poetry, Setu: Western Voices Special Edition, and Alexandria Quarterly.

gary was raised in Denver, Colorado. He received his Ph.D. in Twentieth Century American Poetry from Binghamton University. He taught English at SUNY-Oswego, St. Paul’s College, and for twenty years at the University of Montana Western. gary, now retired, is queer and lives in Missoula, Montana.

ABOUT 

Jamie Dedes. I’m a Lebanese-American freelance writer, poet, content editor, blogger and the mother of a world-class actor and mother-in-law of a stellar writer/photographer. No grandchildren, but my grandkitty, Dahlia, rocks big time. I am hopelessly in love with nature and all her creatures. In another lifetime, I was a columnist, a publicist, and an associate editor to a regional employment publication. I’ve had to reinvent myself to accommodate scarred lungs, pulmonary hypertension, right-sided heart failure, connective tissue disease, and a rare managed but incurable blood cancer. The gift in this is time for my primary love: literature. I study/read/write from a comfy bed where I’ve carved out a busy life writing feature articles, short stories, and poetry and managing The BeZine and its associated activities and The Poet by Day jamiededes.com, an info hub for writers meant to encourage good but lesser-known poets, women and minority poets, outsider artists, and artists just finding their voices in maturity. The Poet by Day is dedicated to supporting freedom of artistic expression and human rights.  Email thepoetbyday@gmail.com for permissions, commissions, or assignments.

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Recent and Upcoming in Digital Publications * The Damask Garden, In a Woman’s Voice, August 11, 2019 / This short story is dedicated to all refugees. That would be one in every 113 people. * Five poems, Spirit of Nature, Opa Anthology of Poetry, 2019 * From the Small Beginning, Entropy Magazine (Enclave, #Final Poems), July 2019 * Over His Morning Coffee, Front Porch Review, July 2019 * Three poems, Our Poetry Archive, September 2019

“Every pair of eyes facing you has probably experienced something you could not endure.”  Lucille Clifton

  “when voices detach themselves,” by gary lundy; review, interview, poems "Poetry is at its basic level language at play. I try not to dictate the rules of that play." gary lundy…