#listen no one understand just how much I love whatever fucked up thing they’ve got going on

[porschesbabydaddy]

Nick may not be able to fix Boston, but he CAN put him on a leash and walk him like a dog, and really isn’t that better?

[ceilidho]

Ceilidh, I keep thinking about soap and ghost who are absolutely pro omega rights (soap in particular, or at least he’s more vocal about it). Like fuck those old, conservative assholes who think omegas should be seen and not heard, whose only purpose is to lie back, listen to their alpha and take a damn knot when they’re told.

They’ve both worked with omegas that got shit done – civilians AND military operatives, they know better and they’ll damn well shut anyone up who starts spouting that regressive shit.

But their own omega, well that’s a different story. Poor little thing doesn’t know what’s good for her, best if she gets rid of all those silly notions of hers and just let ghost and soap take care of her like they’re s’posed to.

ok in total honesty you almost lost me in the first half because as much as i would love that irl, it doesn't interest me so much in fiction where i want them to be deranged freaks. but you GOT me in that last paragraph.

neither being particularly activistic, but they also don't indulge in the casual omega denigration that some of their colleagues participate in. if an alpha says something shitty while Soap is around, Soap will usually snap back something about how maybe the alpha saying it should take notes from the omega civilian and military operators on base because "at least they're actually proficient at their fucking jobs". he'll genuinely get in fights when his temper flares up just enough - loves sparring when he's taken a particular dislike to someone because it means he has permission to beat the shit out of them.

Ghost doesn't have the patience for verbal fights, but he'll request an immediate transfer of any alpha sergeant or private with the misfortune of thinking that someone of Ghost's stature and size and general look would agree with their primitive beliefs. or he'll riddle them with hard labour and assignments that'll leave them exhausted and broken.

but when it comes to their omega? oh no, she's kept off base in the house they've purchased. they even contemplate retirement after finding her, neither of them comfortable with being away from their omega for extended periods of time. she's taken off her suppressants the second they get her locked up, the two of them helping her work through the withdrawals, getting her nice and relaxed on their knots.

despite the fact that the two of them are alphas, Soap always defers to Ghost, so Ghost is the one that knots her first. Soap gets to work her through the worst of her heats though, stamina letting him go for hours, overstimulating the both of them to the point of pain.

poor girl probably had a job and friends and maybe even volunteered before those two brutes stole her from whatever former life she was living. Soap is so enamoured with her temper tantrums, the way she demands they let her go. pinches her cheeks and coos when she gets worked up to the point of tears. she doesn't understand how they can have so much respect for the omegas in their field while keeping her locked up in their house, but the cognitive dissonance just works for them. their omega is just too soft and breakable to be out in the world (regardless of how tall she is or how she's built, how muscled or tough. to them, she's breakable)

i love writing them as hypocritical assholes :\\\\

[catchyhuh]

Thoughts on Pops' sidekicks? Yata, Mariya, Melon, that glorified babysitter from island of assassins, etc etc [places ask before the beasts' cave and slowly backs away]

[the beast sniffs the air, catching a faint whiff of tokyo crisis and bolts out of the cave like its prey drive has been activated] i may or may not have a particular favorite one off girl that i have been studying like bacteria in a petri dish for years, and this ask may or may not have looked like this to me

BUT YES!! I HAVE MUCH TO SAY

i think the secret to a good backup lupin character is to emphasize how mundane and comparatively normal they are IN A GOOD WAY OF COURSE! your supporting character needs to SUPPORT and the easiest, funniest way to do that, is to have them be just some guy. they can be weird, but they can’t be weirder than our main features. they can be cool, but they can’t be cooler than our main guys. you get it? 

and since it’s so fucking easy to make ANYBODY seem normal standing next to zenigata, you’d have to work pretty damn hard to beat the first point, so the most important thing HERE is to have them resigned to their fate. you will not stop him. it is impossible to stop him. he will not even acknowledge that you DID, in fact, try to stop him. really, the most you can do is catch the back of his coat before he accidentally steps into traffic when he's on autopilot

melon is probably the funniest in terms of this resignation because if anything he delights in having a front row seat. he’s not stopping shit! and you got like the old men that were just grinning and not even TRYING to keep him alive in episode 0 and twilight gemini, which i guess makes them beat out melon in terms of “it is what it is.” and then in the middle mariya is like, “ok, not letting him die but also he’s just not fucking listening to me and honestly when else am i gonna get a chance to partake in a car chase!! let’s go.” and then yata is slowly approaching the mariya level of stress because he’s clearly begun to realize if he has a panic attack every single time zenigata almost gets himself killed he’ll die of a heart attack before hes even 30. and. oh god i watched island of assassins and i remember proto-yata but i can’t even think of his name now. something very american. jimmy? BUT HE NEVER ACCEPTED THE FACT HE COULDN’T STOP ZENIGATA hence his Weakness in comparison. i also am vaguely aware that one special has this cop lady working with him but she ends up secretly being evil but i haven’t seen that one yet and also she’s. evil. so i imagine she wouldn’t count anyway so WHATEVER THERE’S OUR RANKING OF THE PEACE THEY’VE MADE WITH THE SITUATION

you can ALWAYS give pops a weird tagalong. it is ALWAYS correct! there’s four thieves and only one of him, which means you gotta give him SOMEBODY to work off of! i will always be pro-sidekick just because it makes him funnier or even adds a tiny bit of unexpected depth (him telling yata he understands if he quits the case, really everything he does in response to learning about mariya’s father/childhood, etc), and as a bonus, you might even get a really good character in their own right! all because they thought “damn. this is a little unfair isn’t it. have this guy follow him around for an hour” 

i have the science of this down pat. IN FACT THIS WHOLE THING IS PROBABLY WHY I’M SO #PROYATA I LOVE GOOD DYNAMICS! THE BEAST THANKS YOU FOR LISTENING

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Connection: Janus

Prompt: ok listen, i know you just posted like maybe an hour before i am humbly submitting this request but- jesus christ i love these boys an unhealthy amount. i finished reading (and subsequently rereading) Connection literally just now, and my brain CRAVES for this college au. ik the part you posted is roman centric but if you could consider janus centric? love ur janus centric fics to death. idk how it would fit with the universe you started but i digress. thank you so much for being you, your writings are one of the things that has motivated me to write my own fanfiction! i appreciate u <33 - vinbee631

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: none!

Pairings: roceit

Word Count: 2331

Janus took a deep breath and looked at himself one more time in the mirror. He brushed down his coat and adjusted his hat, making sure everything was in place.

This was it. He’d finally gotten the courage to ask out the cute boy he always sees in the library and he is not going to fuck it up. 

His phone beeps—time to go—and he swipes it up and stuffs it in his pocket, opening the door and walking down to campus proper. They’d arranged to meet in front of the library at 6:30 and yes, he was going to be there a few minutes early just in case. Roman had texted about ten minutes ago saying he was on his way, so with any luck, they might get there at the same time. 

He has a brief thought that he might be getting stood up when he gets there right at 6:30 and no one is there, but he dismisses it and settles in to wait against the right column near the stairs. He rests his cane against the stone next to him and looks out over the grass. 

“Whoa.”

He turns, smiling when he sees Roman approaching. He’s wearing a white button-down and black slacks, his red letterman jacket over his shoulders. Janus smiles and walks to meet him, holding out his hand. 

“You look splendid,” he says, pulling him closer. 

Roman blushes—adorable, he is—and shakes his head. “You’re the one who really dressed up. I feel underdressed now.”

“I can assure you that you don’t look it.” He offers his arm and Roman takes it. “I thought we’d walk, the place isn’t far, do you mind?”

“No, no, not at all. Where are we going?”

“Do you know the new place that’s just opened up near the cornerstone?”

“Oh, is that the one with the signs out everywhere?”

“The very same. Is that alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve been wanting to go!’

“Perfect.” 

Roman smiles and oh, he has dimples, does he? Janus pulls him a bit closer and they start walking down the path. “Tell me, how has your day been?”

“Well, I did have a test today.” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I studied really hard for it and I knew what most of it was, but there were a few key things I just didn’t remember at all.”

“Such is the way with most tests, I’ve found. I’m sure you did well.”

“I hope so. Can’t really afford to fail any classes.” Something twists Roman’s face. “Even one test.”

Janus frowns. “Is something the matter?”

It seems to shake Roman out of whatever mood he’d stumbled into. “What? No, no, sorry, got a bit distracted there. I, um—that’s not really something I wanna talk about right now.”

“Of course, I understand.”

“What about you, how was your day?”

“Well, I must say I also got a bit distracted.”

“Oh, yeah? By what?”

Janus grins. “I knew tonight I’d be taking you out for dinner, of course.”

He chuckles when Roman blushes again, reaching up to touch his chin. 

“Still stunnable, then?”

“You’re not being fair,” Roman says weakly, “what am I supposed to do when you say stuff like that?”

“Like what?”

“No, no, I know a bad deal when I see one, no, thank you.”

“Stunnable and smart, then.”

“Oh my god,” he mumbles, turning away to try and hide his blushing face and failing miserably. 

He laughs again, lightly squeezing Roman’s arm. “I’ll behave, don’t worry.”

“You better.”

Or what, Janus wants to say, but no, no, he’s not trying to fluster the poor thing too bad before they’ve even sat down. So instead he turns the conversation back to what else Roman’s studying, what classes he’s taking, much more civil conversation. He learns that Roman is pursuing a degree in English, hoping that it will give him a lot of options for networking with people. Apparently he’s gotten a job in admissions and might be able to secure a longer-term position after graduation. 

“Ambitious, are we? Or do you just like it here that much?”

“It’s good pay,” Roman says as they turn the corner, “and it’s not as if it’s super strenuous work. I’d still be able to have enough time for another job if I could get the hours scheduled right and I’d still be able to get home in time.”

“In time for what?”

“My younger brother gets home from his high school and we eat dinner together a lot. I don’t wanna miss that unless I absolutely have to.”

Janus can’t stop himself from smiling again. How sweet, could this man get any more adorable? “I’m sure he’s very grateful for that.”

“Yeah.” Roman toys with the end of his sleeve. “I…I look forward to it.”

“Will he be terribly put out that I’m stealing you away tonight?”

“Nah, he’s going over to a friend’s house tonight. I’m sure he’ll come back home stuffed with pizza and French fries or something.”

“Ah. A dinner for champions.”

Roman snorts. “Or high schoolers that don’t have any other options but to gorge themselves on grease.”

“As I said.”

Roman laughs and Janus decides right there and then that he’s going to try and make Roman laugh every chance he gets.

“Oh, is this it?”

They look up at the wooden sign outside the door, soft music coming from inside. “Yes, it seems so. After you.”

The hostess seats them near the window, placing two menus down as Janus takes off his coat and leans his cane against the window. Roman takes off his jacket too and Janus tries not to stare. He’d had a sneaking suspicion that the letterman jacket wasn’t just for show, that Roman was in fact some sort of athlete, but seeing him without it…

No. Behave. 

“Janus?”

“My apologies,” he says, “you’re distracting.”

Ah, there’s the blush again. Roman shuffles a little in his seat before turning his attention pointedly to the menu. “What looks good?”

“I’m partial to a good sandwich, but don’t let me influence you.”

Roman spends a lot of time poring over sections of the menu, squinting and murmuring under his breath, until Janus catches him counting on his fingers under the table. He reaches out and taps the edge of Roman’s menu. 

“I’m paying tonight,” he says firmly, “order what you like.”

“But—“

“I asked you out,” he says, smiling slightly, “please, sweetie, let me pay?”

“…only if you’re sure.”

“I am. Don’t you worry.” He pats Roman’s hand. “Now, what are you considering?”

“The burger looks really good. And it comes with a lot of fries, I saw it go around a moment ago.”

“Then get that.”

“But with the Rueben, I could get more food for less and I still get fries.” Roman chews on his lip. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna get that.”

“Perfect.” Janus sets aside his menu. “I want to try their chopped salad. I’ve heard it’s good.”

“Oh?”

“A friend of mine came here the other week, said it was worth giving a shot.”

“Do you trust this friend?”

Janus gives him a look. “That’s a pointed question.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, I just—“

“Easy, sweetie, it’s okay. I was teasing.”

“Oh.” Janus waves his hand—forgiving him instantly. “I only asked because one time one of Remus’s friends told us to try this restaurant and it did not go well.”

“Oh? Do tell.”

And so he listens, rapt as Roman spins this story about a pizza place that was supposedly great pizza for cheap only for the pizzas to come out misshapen and disfigured, looking like someone had taken leftover pieces from other pizzas and put them all together and put it back in the oven. 

“That’s…disgusting.”

“I mean we still ate it—“

“You did what? Sweetie…”

“Oh, it was fine, it tasted like pizza and it had been recooked, it just looked all messed up.” Roman shook his head. “Plus, it wasn’t like we could afford to just leave.”

Janus frowns, opening his mouth to ask when the waitress came up to take their order. By the time they’d asked and she’d taken the menus and left, Roman was already leaning on the table again. 

“So what do you study?”

“Philosophy.”

“…would be rude if I said I called it?”

“No, but I would be curious as to how.”

“It suits your vibe. All mysterious and stuff.”

“Mysterious, hm?” Janus raises an eyebrow. “How so?”

“Well, you talk like you’re straight out of some regency drama—“

Janus snorts. 

“—and you make it seem like you’re always thinking about everything at once.” Roman leans back, resting against the chair. “I dunno, I always assumed philosophy majors were kinda like that. You seem like you’re really smart.”

“Why, thank you.”

“I could never be a philosophy student, so I admire people who are.”

“Why not?”

Roman sighs. “Too much of my experience with philosophy is really…well, it’s like ‘this is actually what’s going on’ and ‘nothing you know is something you actually know’ and I’m like…great, but I still gotta do laundry so who cares?”

Janus can’t help it, he laughs. The way Roman says it is just so bemusedly defeated and he can just imagine all of his professors dog piling each other to ‘um, actually’ the hell out of it. “No, I don’t imagine you’d enjoy philosophy.”

“It’s not like I don’t like hearing how people think or anything, I just—look, I got stuff to do and I don’t really have the time to have someone to tell me why.”

“No, no, I understand. I do think it would be interesting to discuss with you in the future, if you’d be interested, but I won’t bore you when you have laundry to do.”

He winks and Roman laughs. “Much appreciated.”

They talk a little more about idle things until the food comes, politely thanking the waitress as they each start eating. The chopped salad is delicious, Janus will have to pass on his thanks to his friend, and judging by the way Roman is devouring his food, he seems to like it too. 

“Good?”

Roman fumbles with his mouthful before wiping his face on his napkin and grinning. “Really good.”

“I’m glad.” He tilts his head. “You’ve still got—“

“Where?”

“Right there, yes.” 

“Thanks.”

“Of course.” He frowns as Roman eyes the other half of his sandwich and sits back. “Not hungry anymore?”

“Huh? Oh, no, I’m just…taking a break.”

“I see.” Still, he can’t help but notice that Roman keeps glancing out of the window. “Is there something wrong?”

“Huh? Oh, no, I’m sorry, I’m being rude.”

“Still getting used to not having a curfew?” Janus chuckles as he takes a sip of water. “I know I am.”

When Roman doesn’t laugh, he looks over to see him staring down at his hands. 

“Sweetie?”

“Sorry, I…um, I think I should tell you.” Roman chews on his lip before leaning closer. “I don’t—I’ve never had a curfew.”

“…okay?”

“Remus and I don’t—our parents aren’t—“ Roman swallows— “they’re not in the picture.”

Janus slowly puts his fork down. 

“We just have each other,” Roman continues, “it’s just us. That’s why—that’s why it’s really important that I keep my grades up. The scholarship—I need to keep up certain grades or else I get kicked out.”

And the jobs…and his worry over dinner…and his worry over Remus…yes, that makes sense. Oh, Roman…

“Sorry, that, um, probably wasn’t what you wanted to hear over dinner.” He laughs, but now it’s all nervous and scared and it sounds awful. “Um, I understand if you’d rather I just go—I can’t pay for this right now but I promise I can pay you back, I just might need a few weeks, and I—“

“Roman,” he interrupts before this can get any more upsetting than the thought of Roman thinking he doesn’t want him still, reaching out to cover his hand, “I don’t want you to go.”

“You…don’t?”

Janus shakes his head. “It’s…incredibly brave of you to tell me that, and I’m very honored you decided to share it with me. I think you’re incredibly strong and smart and all of the things I said before. What you have told me doesn’t make me think any less of you.”

Roman looks at him, then at their hands on the table, and he swallows. “…thank you.”

“You are letting me treat you to dinner every so often, though.”

“I don’t need charity—“

“It’s not charity. It’s me wanting to spend time with you because I want to.” Janus squeezes his hand. “Is that acceptable?”

Roman nods. “Thank you, Janus. Really.”

“Think nothing of it.” He smiles. “I get to spend more time with you, that’s reward enough.”

Roman smiles back. Wonderful. 

“So other than Remus,” Janus says, picking up his fork again, “is there anyone else I should know about?”

“Well…”

“Well?”

“You’re not the only one who’s asked me out to dinner.”

“That’s alright. I’ve never minded a bit of friendly competition.” Janus winks. “You’re worth fighting for.”

And so is that blush that Roman fails to his behind the glass of water. 

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If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

[frenchiefitzhere]

And with that, our mega-project is done!!! @ejunkiet and I are proud to present the conclusion of An Honest Man Like Yourself.

Basically, this is the fic equivalent of a get-along shirt for Milo and Colm Greer. Smol Wolfs need to love and support each other, dammit!

From: milo.greer@shawsecurity.com

To: cgreer@dump.ca.mgov

Date: November 4, 2021

Subject: Favor

Hey Pop-

Thanks for letting us borrow the kayak last week. My mate really liked it, even though I think they had more fun trying to scare the shit out of me, making me think we were gonna tip over, than they did actually paddling.

I’m worried about them, though. That’s why they needed that weekend away. They’ve been coming home dead tired lately, and when I asked them, they said they’ve been freaking out over some breach at the Department. Is there anything you can do for them over there at the office? Maybe see about assigning them some extra help or something? I’d really appreciate it.

Also, you remember that member of our pack whose family joined up from Washington back when I was a teenager? (I don’t know if you do. You were already out of the house a lot by then, but I think you might.) Well, anyway, they’re back, and they got a problem. So now we got a problem. What do you know about dealing with vampires who don’t follow the rules?

See you tomorrow,

Milo

***

November 4, 2021

12:14 P.M.

Pop: Call me please. We need to talk about that email.

Milo: why? what’s the matter?

Pop: Just call me. ASAP

***Calling… Colm Greer***

“Hey, Pop. What’s wrong?”

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong! You can’t send shit like that to my work email. What the fuck are you thinking?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, for one thing, do you realize how much trouble your mate could get in if the Department found out they’d disclosed all those case details to you? What are you, stupid?!”

“No! I just–”

“I can’t believe you’d put them at risk like that. Of all the careless, brainless, impulsive—”

“Hey, wait a minute! I’m the one lookin’ out for them. You won’t even lift a finger, Deputy Commissioner. Fat lot of good that fancy title does any of us!”

“How am I supposed to do anything for anybody when you’re putting your foot and your nose and your goddamn emails where they don’t belong?! Jesus, Milo. You never learn to shut your mouth! You got no filter!”

“You should talk! Listen to you!”

“No, you know what? I’m not done… You’re the one who doesn’t know when to shut up. What was all that about vampires? Did you even read that before you sent it? Do you realize how that sounded? If I get anybody from Internal Affairs reading my messages, they’re gonna think our whole pack is made up of bigots who call people ‘Feeders’. I raised you better than that!”

“I didn’t even write that! I never called anybody a feeder in my life! And who’s gonna read your message, Pop? You’re fuckin’ paranoid, that’s what you are!”

“No. I’m not. It happens more than you’d think. That’s why I gotta stay in the lines. That’s just the job. And I’m sure your mate understands that. We can’t all work for ritzy private security companies and take only the jobs we like. Some of us have to deal with whatever comes our way.”

Read the rest on AO3

[ofmermaidstories]

Ooh im so glad you enjoy any type of comments because im so so so obsessed with something (just like this) but felt the comments i left on ao3 weren’t showing how much i really really liked it! [which is a lot, i live react to my little fanfic gc about it whenever i read/reread 😭 shout out to them for listening☝️]

NO, listen—I’m the same way!!! Writing big, analytical comments doesn’t come naturally to me (which means I appreciate the ones I get even more, because i know exactly how much time and thought they take 😭), so I understand the knee-jerk worry of, oh no, is this enough? But I do think that it’s a disservice to each other to like, have expectations of how to comment on something. 🥺 I don’t believe in rigidly policing how we aught to interact with each other’s art (beyond not being dicks). It’s—disheartening! Disheartening and fucking rude, actually, because it does two things: it treats those beautifully detailed, loving comments that people write of their own excitement as the only valid form of expressing love and it also makes reading fanfiction and interacting with each other a chore! And it shouldn’t be! It’s not! I dunno how many times I need to say this, but fanfiction isn’t homework—and that goes two ways!! You, as a writer, are not enslaved to it. You don’t need to finish to a deadline (unless you want to!). And you as a reader are not obligated to provide an itinerary of the time you spend with someone’s work!!!

It’s not the only way to love something. Like you saying that you live react it to the group chat—I don’t even know how to articulate what that means to me, to hear??? Lmfao. Because it’s so cute and it’s so fun!!! And it’s relatable, because I do the exact same thing with fics I love, to the friends that I love. 🥺 If anything, I find it easier to like, lay out what I love in a fic to a chat, if that makes sense? Because I’m not worried about the author! Like—I’m not worried about impressing them, LOL. Or accidentally hurting their feelings if I’m maybe a little confused about something, or am just extra opinionated that day. I can just say, “OH MY GOD [insert writer here] UPDATED [insert fic here] IM LOSING MYS HIT OH MY GOD ITS SO GOOD OH MY GOD!!!! [insert plot twist here]!!!!!! NOOOOOOO OMG WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO ME IM TOO DELICATE FOR THIS I HATE IT HERE” etc etc.

We forget that fanfiction communities are built, in large part, because of readers—readers silently reading things, or privately sharing them. Readers making tiktoks about their favourite fic (and then it blowing up and the fic getting deleted because people are mean to other fics in that same community that share the same tropes LMFAO go on, ask me about attackonfic). There’s one user on AO3 that I adore, literally, they are so precious because I see them so often in the comments of the fics I’m reading and every time it’s the same, short and sweet sentiment of how much they love whatever it is they’ve been reading, and sometimes they’ll add emojis and sometimes it’s capitalised but it gets the point across so well. They’ve commented on surrender before; it now lives in my folder for comments, on my phone, because it made me laugh when I first got it.

I promise you, Anon, if you have commented on SJLT then not only have I read it—I’ve screenshot it and saved it to that folder. Because for all I write, I don’t think I can ever adequately express what any comment means to me. 🥺 The sense of relief and—safety, almost? In being seen. It’s just—it’s there for all of them! Every comment!

If anything, I owe you an apology—I’m not good at replying to things in any timely manner 🥺 It’s never malicious, it just—it takes energy, no matter how big or small the comment (or tumblr ask!), because I want each reply to mean something, to return that sensation of hi, i see you too! It’s not an excuse. But I promise, Anon—I see you, too. And I want you (and everyone!) to know, no matter what you’ve said to me on AO3—whether it was an emoji, one word, a couple of sentences or paragraphs that took half an hour to write—it found me just when I needed it. And it meant so, so much. 🥺 Thank-you for reading, Anon. Thank-you for being here. I hope I can give you a finish story that makes those comments worth it. 🥺🌷📖✨💕

[kariachi]

Some quick fic, Argit has a man, Kevin is hopeful, Ben is concerned, Kev & Argit are both fucked up.

~~

“And you’re in no way concerned about this?” Eyes rolling about out of his head, Kevin pointedly kept his attention on the carburetor he was adjusting.

“Oh nooo,” he said with as much sarcasm as possible, “a man who actually respects and gives two shits about him is getting into Argit’s pants and with any luck passed the razor wire into his heart. Whatever will I do.”

“I was slightly more worried for Rad-” He could hear the huff in Ben’s voice. “-but yeah I’d expect you to be worried about Argit too. Rad’s not a bad guy, but he’s got a temper and aggressive streak-”

“So do I.”

“-and Argit tends to stick his foot in it.” That was true, though a little unfair. He and Argit both tended to stick their foot in it, it was part of why they made such a good team. They bolstered each other’s weak points, and were generally able to recover for the other if shit went sour.

“Can’t say Argit won’t fuck shit up, really hoping he doesn’t though, but Rad’s got a good enough head on his shoulders to know that starting shit if he does isn’t worth having to deal with me afterwards. And if there’s one thing Argit’s got on me it’s that if Rad starts shit himself he’s not busted in a way that has him coming back for more.” Was a relief, really. Argit’s limit on the mistreatment he’d take was far lower than Kevin’s. Emotional shit he took with a cold and calculated composure, but he wasn’t the sort to suffer someone raising a hand to him twice if he could help it. Kevin hadn’t had that level of self-preservation… ever, he was fairly sure- more than willing to put up with damn near anything in exchange for everything from a place to stay to the ghost of possible affection for as long as his temper held.

It was one of those points where Argit covered his weakness, even if he hadn’t always listened those times he insisted they just do things the harder way.

The others would never understand how much of a weight it lifted, that neither of them had had to worry about that shit- either going through it themselves or watching after the other- in the past few years.

“I just don’t want either of them to get hurt,” Ben said, nay, admitted. “I think they’ve gotten me attached.” Snorting, Kevin couldn’t help a grin.

“Yeah, Argit does that. Can’t speak for Rad though. You might just have a weak spot for morally grey types.” Things were quiet on the other side of the garage for a long moment, enough for Kevin to pause in his work and properly wait for a response.

“If I ever,” he said in a pained tone, “consider making a move on either of them, kill me.” With another snorted laugh and memories of Ester, Julie, Emily, popping into his head, Kevin went back to what he was doing.

“Love you man, but if you make a move on my Hedgehog, you’re dying slow.”

“Thank you, hopefully the fear will keep me in line.”

[awayintheend]

dont want this to sound like im ungrateful or i dont love them or anything but

goddamnit my bfs parents piss me off so goddamn much all the time. they feel like the most inconsiderate, selfish people. they cause so much unnecessary drama and frustration in the family. i hate how we have no choice but to live with them, we’re not financially independent enough to be on our own, and with both of our dissabilities its difficult to be completely alone. right now im pissed off with them because; there is not enough space in our shared room to keep all my clothes and such in, so ive been having to use their spare guest room to keep my clothes, belongings, etc in. i’ve even had my tablet set up in there and i go in there to draw (my tablet is huge and not portable, it needs to be set up at a desk) basically, its become my room, i spent a lot of time in there drawing and doing whatever else. its not like no one uses that room. well, for whatever reason, my bfs parents have basically been having a relative of theirs (a woman and her little kid) staying over at our house, 24/7, for...seriously no particular reason. they just WANT her here. they say shes going to stay here “until they say so” and yeah, they’ve been staying in the guest room. so first off; its not a huge room in the first place, so to make both a woman and her kid stay in there is pretty tight. all the womans been doing is cleaning around the house, something literally anyone else can do (like ME) and i dont even think they’re paying her. it feels like theyre just taking advantage of her. and yeah, they got a lot of their suitcases and shit all over the room now, including in front of the closet where my clothes and stuff are. so how am i supposed to change/put things away? hell if i know. everythings been staking up in our cramped room lately. also her kid sleeps literally all day, so for the whole day hes just sleeping in the room. ALSO also, our cats had a nice litter box/food setup in that room, and now its been completely fucked with and its been stressing our cats out too. i havent been able to draw, use my tablet, do ANYTHING productive at the house.  when all these things are brought up to his parents, they just refuse to listen. they literally just do whatever they want and its seriously pissing me the FUCK off. im not even pretending to be happy anymore because of how unneccessarily frustrated they are making me. yes, im forever thankful for all my bf and his family have done for me and i cant stress that enough. it may not sound like i am here, but its pretty understandable to not ALWAYS be happy with shit your family does right? im just very miserable right now and dont feel like they’re respecting me at all. 

[manekicatwriter]

hellooo! i was wondering if i could make a request for an modern au sbi x gn sibling reader where they’re around 17-19, and they’ve got depression. they’ve had to go away for a few weeks after a bad episode ended in an attempt and they were hospitalized and sent somewhere for rehabilitation and now they’re coming home and they’re all anxious and quiet and stuff- so the boys do their best to like comfort them and reassure them that they’re loved and they belong there? i’m sorry if that’s an awkward request, i was just recently discharged after a similar situation and honestly the comfort would be great. it’s totally your call if you chose to write it tho, i understand that this is a difficult and triggering subject and not everyone is comfortable with writing things like it. if you aren’t comfy please feel free to just ignore my ask! <3

you’re here, and that’s what matters.

TW: mentions of attempted suicide. please proceed with caution.

hey! i just wanted to let you know that i’ve been through a similar situation and understand how you feel (though my case was not as severe). i wish you a safe road to recovery.

note, i think you asked for their characters but it leant itself towards their rl versions. i have a feeling the dsmp versions would be too chaotic for this sensitive subject.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! please do not be afraid to send in an ask. ANON IS ON!!

Phil:

- phil was very scared about you being so gravely hurt, it kept him up for some nights. thankfully, you pulled through.

- he visited whenever he could. if he couldn’t, he was busy making sure coming home felt as comfortable for you as possible while also educating himself on how to take care of you.

- phil would listen to how you felt, and be understanding of your feelings.

- “You don’t have to tell me why you did it, I’m just glad you’re here,” pulling you in for a warm hug.

- when you got back home, he made sure he and the boys had prepared your favorite dinner and desserts.

It was the day you had just got home from rehabilitation, and you two were sitting on the couch. You hadn’t said much, you felt like you had nothing to say. Phil had asked for you to sit down so you two could talk, one on one.

You couldn’t meet his gaze. “I’m sorry,” your voice started to crack. “For making you guys worry about me.” Tears started to form from your eyes and you wept into your hands.

Phil immediately reached over to you to hug you, letting you cry on his shoulder. “We don’t blame you. We don’t blame anybody. I just want you to be here safe with us. Let it all out.” He pat and rubbed your back soothingly as you kept crying. But it was a good cry. He was just glad you came home.

Tommy:

- even though many see tommy as a loud and obnoxious boy with a general disregard for others, we all know deep down that’s a persona. he will go out of his way to make other comfortable in his presence if he truly cares for them. which he does, for you of course.

- he wants to make you happy! when the time is right, he’ll crack jokes and offer to play minecraft with you.

- would tone down the yelling. not because you asked, but he’s afraid of triggering you. treats you like glass. if you notice he’s being quieter than usual and you don’t care, you tell him you don’t.

- if you’re feeling it, he’ll take you out to fun places and to eat. nothing that’s too outlandish like a theme park, but just enough to have a reason to get out of bed that day instead of sleeping in.

It had been a week since you had gotten home and Phil had instructed you to maintain somewhat of a schedule to upkeep yourself. Right now was your nightly routine, washing yourself, brushing your teeth, and finally sliding under the covers. It felt nice. The blanket of sleep consumes you easily…

…

Until you bedroom door opens you’re being aggressively shaken awake. You groan, shying away, but they’re persistent.

“Ey, wake up, it’s morning!” Tommy shakes you again.

You realize you didn’t dream, but think nothing of it. “Tommy please, what do you want.”

Finally, Tommy pulled your warm sheets from over you, making you flinch. “I wanted to go out to the park today! Feed the ducks! Yeesss!”

You sighed. If you didn’t comply now, Tommy will refuse to stop nagging you for the rest of the day. You rolled out of bed and into the bathroom. You could very clearly hear Tommy’s cheers.

You two had gotten ready, eaten breakfast, and said goodbye to the rest of your family so you could head over to the park. It was close enough that it wasn’t unbearable to walk to. Even if you weren’t completely yourself yet, you were glad Tommy was.

After the short walk you two finally reached the park. Tommy immediately bolted toward the pond and you jogged behind. He had already started throwing the ducks some seeds, and even threw it on a duck. It didn’t seem too pleased.

You two sat at the edge of the pond as you watched the ducks eat. “Hey.” You hear Tommy call to you, and you turn your head to him.

“Can we talk about what happened? With you? Is it okay?” You could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

“Go ahead, what is it?”

“When Techno found out what happened to you, and told us the news, I was scared shitless.” He let out a sad huff. “I thought we were going to lose you.” Tommy kept his eyes fixed at the pond in front of him. “I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have brought this up. I’m just glad you’re okay.” He sighed.

You put a hand on his shoulder. “Oh Tommy…” You started, “I’m sorry for making you worry. You shouldn’t have to feel like that because of my actions.”

Tommy was lost in thought for a moment, before finally speaking up, “No, please don’t apologize. It’s not anybody’s fault this happened, right?” You nodded.

Tommy stood up, dusting his pants off from the grass. “Come on now, let’s go get some ice cream!” He pulled you up from the ground.

“Last one to get to the shop has to pay!”

Immediately, Tommy bolts in the direction to the ice cream shop, and you catch up to him. No matter the circumstance is, he never seems to fail at putting a smile on your face.

Wilbur:

- i HC wilbur being the oldest, being older than techno by 3 years and older than tommy by 8, like IRL. :]

- i think out of all of your siblings, wilbur exudes the most “protective older brother” energy, yeah?

- remember when tommy lied about his mother being in trouble and how worried and anxious wilbur got? turn that up to 11 with what happened with you.

- with wilbur being the oldest, he of course had the responsibility of taking care of everyone. but somehow you and him didn’t spend as much 1 on 1 time as much as wilbur did with his other siblings

- wilbur definitely was going to change that, realizing that and not wanting to make that mistake again.

- he decided that finding a new hobby with you wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

You were sitting at the dinner table, being the last one there. You were poking at your food for the most part, and Wilbur got home late from… whatever Wilbur thing he was doing. Phil cooked pasta for dinner tonight. Wilbur put down his bags at the door connected to the garage. “I’m home! What’s for dinner?”

“Pasta.”

“Mmm, I love some good ol’ pasta.” He said, already taking a plate out to serve himself. “Also, hey, I bought something I wanted to build with you. Do you mind?”

You finally looked up from your very interesting pasta. “Build..?” You had no idea where this was going.

Wilbur placed his plate on the table and approached the bags of groceries, going through them to find the bag he was looking for. He pulled out a LEGO set. More specifically, a LEGO City set from the looks of the box? “Wilbur, how much was that?”

He blinked at you innocently. “It was only, like, £25. And look! It’s got a little submarine we can make with a rock and ugly sea monster—“

“But why?”

“Why not? It wouldn’t hurt for you to do something new, yeah?” He smiled at you, shaking the LEGO box in front of him to show it off. You sighed, but smiled. “Alright. But maybe you and I should eat this pasta first before we start building.” Wilbur nodded.

“Speaking of water, don’t you think I could teach you how to swim or something?”

“Oh, fuck off with that!”

Technoblade:

- i think out of everyone in the family, he understands you the most in terms of how you feel.

- not suicidal, but just generally having depressive episodes due to his ADHD.

- techno’s generally closed off, but started to really open up to you because he wanted to show he cares, even if it meant going out of his comfort zone.

- techno suggested journaling. once a day or once per week, it didn’t really matter. just as long as you could write down your feelings somewhere.

- he didn’t explicitly say it, but he also bought a book for himself so he could do it along with you. although, he more often than not just forgets to write in it until you mention your own journal.

- if you want to be sad and quiet, you can be sad and quiet with him. his room is a safe space for you if you ever need it and you’re always welcome to come in, just as long as you knock first.

With one hand on your mouse scrolling through the internet, and another resting your head on it, you were safe to admit you were utterly and completely bored. Honestly, you thought about taking another nap after your last one, but a knock on your door stopped you right before you pulled the covers over yourself. “Can I come in?”

You rose from your bed. “Come in. Oh hey Techno.”

He gave a simple wave and his signature “Halloo.” He walked right over to you and handed a journal and a ballpoint pen. “I got this. For you.” His stare was sharp but you could sort of tell he was nervous.

“What for?”

“I dunno. Writin’ your feelings down or drawin’ or somethin’. Whatever helps you vent.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Oh Techno, thank you. That’s very sweet of you.” You gave a slight smile, but saw that he still had another journal in his hand. “You have two journals?”

Techno raised his eyebrow in confusion before looking down at his hand. “Oh this? It’s for me. So we could do it together, I guess.”

You let out a happy hum. “That’s nice. Say, why don’t we go to your room? I want to see your new lava lamp and stuff.”

Techno shrugged. “Sure. I’ve got more stationary too if you want.” He waved his hand before letting himself out the door, with you following not far behind.

hi hope u enjoyed reading as much as i did writing it. this format was new for me but very fun!

[kiwixlime]

Between You and I - Part Three

hello hello!! another update!! this one is a bit rushed because i got distracted halfway through and i'm sorry about that my adhd brain has not been letting me function, but i still felt like writing!! so i hope you can follow along and not end up thinking what the actual fuck lmao anyway thank you so much for reading i hope you enjoy this chapter!

A sore throat and aching muscles are usually enough to put you in a bad mood. But tonight, nothing can dim your shine. Your shift at the club was anything but stellar, but you made some good tips, and your voice sounded exceptional. The applause you received made you feel like a star again. And as you stand outside with Daphne, all of the pain you’re feeling fizzles away knowing that any minute Joel will be swerving through the parking lot to take you home. 

“You sure you don’t want a ride?“ Daphne asks you. The two of you are standing behind the club, leaning against the brick wall as you look up at the night sky. The stars are bright tonight, sparkling against the onyx sky and casting a glowing light into the drab parking lot. For once, it’s actually quite pretty. Then again, that could be your rose-colored glasses speaking. 

“No thanks,” you sigh happily into the darkness. You’ve only been hanging out with Joel for two days, but shit, they’ve been the greatest two days of your life. He’s changed your mood for the better. Before your accidental run-in, you were feeling trapped in life, your career, love. Two of those things are still up in the air. But with Joel in the picture, life is more exciting. 

“You are one smitten kitten,” Daphne snorts with a shake of her head. She doesn’t understand how one person, a man, can shake up your world so quickly. To her, you’ve always been this independent woman. You still are, you swear. But you can be that independent woman and still appreciate getting worshiped by Joel. “He must be a great lay,” she adds in amusement. 

He is, he really is. But it’s not just about the sex; Joel makes you feel seen. He listens to you. He shares things with you, and he’s genuinely fun to be around. You don’t have a relationship, exactly, but whatever arrangement you have with him is far better than the one with your previous boyfriend. 

“Speak of the devil,” your friend speaks up, pointing towards the entrance of the parking lot. You glance over, eyes squinting as the bright headlights come into view. Joel’s truck is easily recognizable. He had a similar one when you were in high school. This, of course, is much fancier. 

“Finally,” you mumble under your breath, keeping your excitement contained. You turn to Daphne as a rumble of thunder rolls through the night. “Are you leaving?” You ask her, making sure she won’t be stranded in the dark parking lot once you go. 

“Yeah, I’ll be on my way,” she answers, reaching into her purse. She pulls out her car keys and sighs, looking from you to Joel’s truck. “Behave,” she teases, wiggling her eyebrows. 

You bring your finger up to your chin in thought before shrugging. “Nope,” you grin, giving her a quick hug. “You be safe. It’s supposed to storm tonight and you have a long drive home.”

“I promise, mom,” she replies with an exaggerated groan. “See you tomorrow, girl. I expect some spicy details on this new romance!” Her tone is playful as she skips away to her car just as a flash of lightning strikes in the distance. Romance. Funny, but you don’t correct her. What’s the harm in playing pretend for a little while?  

Daphne enters her car and throws you a wave before peeling out of the parking lot. Now that she’s taken care of, you let out a tiny squeal, running to Joel’s truck. The rain starts just before you reach the door, splattering down in hard droplets. Joel reaches over and throws the passenger door open, laughing as he calls you in. 

“Already wet and you’re barely in my car,” he comments with a mischievous grin. “Sorry, baby, I should have prepared better.” He gestures to you and the truck. 

“Yeah,” you huff, dramatically. “A real gentleman would have come to fetch me with an umbrella.” For a second his smile fades into a frown, mentally slapping himself for not doing just that. But then you flutter your lashes and hop into the truck, slamming the door shut behind you. “Just kidding, this is more efficient.” 

Joel rolls his eyes and leans over the center console, claiming your lips in a soft kiss. You taste like rainwater and sugar, and it’s an intoxicating blend that sends his hormones raging. For an older man, he gets worked up pretty easily. But he thinks it’s just you having that effect on him. 

“Are you hungry? I’m sure there’s a 24-hour place somewhere,” he offers, driving out onto the main road. “Or I can cook you up something back at my place. I’m actually a pretty decent chef," he says proudly. And for some reason, his little admission makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Joel Miller offering to cook for you? You are the luckiest girl in the world, aren’t you? 

“I’m okay, had a few bites to eat at the club,” you shrug, pulling off your hoodie. You shake your hair out, excess moisture hitting Joel, but he doesn’t mind. “Really I just wanna go back to yours, maybe have more wine…some other things,” you say, sly smile on your face. 

Joel’s grip on the steering wheel tightens as different, impure, thoughts race through his mind. “I think that sounds like a great idea,” he mutters in a deep voice. He takes the chance to look over at you, careful of the rain outside. You still have sparkles from your makeup stuck to your face, trailing down to your chest, glittering under the street lights. 

It’s a warm night, despite the rain. You had your hoodie on to keep you dry, but now you’re showing off a thin tank top, giving him an amazing view of your cleavage. The rest of you is covered in an old pair of sweats that have paint splatters on them from when you redid your apartment. You look a mess, but it’s sexy, and his own sweatpants are tightening. The power you hold by just existing is terrifying. 

He clears his throat, turning down the radio so the sounds of the rain spatter nearly drown it out. He needs to focus. But you’re so distracting, sitting there looking pretty, skin sleek with water, pouty lips glossed and kissable. Even your hair that’s been drenched by the downpour frames your face so goddamn beautifully.  

The drive to Joel’s apartment isn’t long at all. But he can’t wait to have you. Not when you look like this. Not when you’ve been on his mind since your activities in his office. He keeps one hand on the wheel, moving the other across your thigh. He slips it down between your legs, massaging gentle circles. You look over at him, eyebrows raised. He’s smiling to himself, keeping his gaze on the road for safety, of course. But his fingers trail deeper until he rubs over your clothed pussy. 

You moan loudly for effect, catching his attention. His eyes fall on you once more, watching you spread your legs. He licks his lips at the sight of you and moves his hand up, into your sweats, breaching the band of your panties. Your eyes meet, and you nod, giving him permission. 

His eyes center back on the road, but his fingers easily dip into your panties as if he’s done this a thousand times before. Just like he hoped, you’re wet. And he wonders if it’s because of him. Do you feel the same way he does, like he can’t possibly control himself when you’re around? Do you get wet at just the sight of him, or his voice, or the way he looks at you? Fuck, he hopes you do. 

He hears you sigh as he rubs a finger over your entrance, testing your sensitivity. And he likes that little sound. He likes all of your sounds, honestly. He wants to hear more; hear that he’s the one making you feel this good. He rubs you again before slipping his finger inside you. You melt back into your seat and close your eyes. 

Joel works his finger in and out of you as best he can at this angle. You sigh again and try to move your hips to send him deeper. You’re getting needy, and Joel just wants to please you. So he adds a second finger, dragging both of them through your dripping folds before plunging back into your core. 

You clench around his fingers, so slippery he slides in and out of you with ease. He keeps his eyes glued to the road through the rain, listening to your erotic noises since he can’t see your face. Your breath is shaky as he stretches you out, getting daring until he’s three fingers deep inside your cunt. 

You twist your body into a way that’s easier for him to reach you, clutching his wrist in your hands. His fingers move quickly, and you squeeze your legs shut around him. You’re going to cum, you are, right here in his car. 

His fingertips brush your sensitive spot before dragging back out, slowly so you shiver. He takes the risk to look over at you, eyes fluttered shut, lip trapped between your teeth. He moves to your clit, creating a friction so delectable you can’t hold your moans any longer. 

“Joel, Joel,” you warn with a tired breath, your grip still tight on his wrist. He rubs your clit faster at the sound of his name on your tongue. “J-Joel, I c-can’t,” you cry out softly. 

“I got you,” he whispers, circling your clit again. Your legs tremble. You squirm in the passenger seat, and before you can take another breath, you’re squirting over his hand, digging your nails into his skin. Oh, wow, oh, fuck, your brain short-circuits. 

Joel's hand seizes the steering wheel with force, trying so hard to watch the road. But you’re moaning next to him, your face blissed out and beautiful. It’s a stroke to his ego knowing you came that hard for him. Hell, you squirted for him. And if that wasn’t one of the hottest things he’s seen…

Satisfied, he pulls his hand from your panties and licks his fingers clean. He can feel your eyes on him, but he keeps his attention on driving until your stare burns into the side of his face. Then he looks over at you with a smirk. “Look at you,” he tsks, drinking in the view of you. “You made a mess. Dirty girl.”

“Sorry, Mr. Miller,” you say shyly as you twirl your damp hair between your fingers. 

“Don’t worry baby girl,” he grins, flicking on the turn signal to head down his street. Thank god you’re almost there. You can hardly keep yourself together. “When I get you home, we’ll do much filthier things.” 

“Is that so?” You chuckle, leaning closer to him, running your hand over his arm. You just want to touch him, feel him.   

“I’m gonna have my way with you,” he says with a beat, and you can feel the heat rise to your face. You are more than okay with that. “I mean, if you’re up for it?” He adds, double-checking that he can actually talk to you like that. 

“You can do whatever you want to me,” you say with a serious voice, with no hesitation whatsoever. The look in Joel’s eyes as he peers over at you lets you know he’s appreciative of that comment. 

“Good girl,” he praises, and fuck, you love when he talks like that. 

-

You’re on Joel as soon as you enter his apartment. He’s walking backwards towards his room, trying to shake off his jacket as your lips attack his. His arm gets caught in the sleeve, and he grunts in frustration, but you don’t let up. It’s not like he cares, slipping his tongue into your mouth, making you moan. 

“So eager,” he whispers against your lips, finally ridding himself of his offending garments. “Love how impatient you are,” he tells you. You don’t say anything, only nod and bring his lips back to yours, deepening the kiss. 

Your hands tug at his shirt, and he gets the hint, momentarily breaking the kiss so he can pull the fabric over his head. His flexed chest turns you on, and you run your fingers possessively down the front of his body, following the happy trail. Your lips, with a mind of their own, press hot kisses to his skin, making him twitch under your touch. 

You want him. You want every part of him. But before you can fall to your knees, he stops you. You frown, your adorable little pout asking him what the hell? But he only smiles and leads you over to his bed. He sits down and pulls you on top of him. 

“I like when you’re on top,” he flirts. “Look good straddling me.” 

“I bet you say that to all the girls,” you tease, slotting your legs over his. 

He smacks your ass lightly, making you jump forward, pressing against his chest. He looks up at you, grinning. “You’re it, sweetheart.” 

You don’t know what that means. You hope it means you’re the only one he’s seeing. It has only been two days, and he’s been back in town for a while. He could have someone else. You don’t like that thought, but you feel like Joel’s not that kind of guy. He’d tell you if another woman were in the picture. 

Your thoughts are cut short when you feel Joel kissing your neck. His tongue swipes over the forming goosebumps, and you gasp. He takes advantage and captures your lips again, sloppily kissing you as you grind on him. He’s hard, really hard. You wanna take care of that for him, but he’s insistent on having you where he wants you. 

His rough hands roam up your back, under your tank top. He lightly scratches his nails against your silky skin causing you to arch into him. You pull away from him, tugging on his bottom lip. He chuckles as you raise your arms so he can take off your shirt, revealing a see-through lavender bra. 

“Fuck me, you are gorgeous,” he says, reaching behind your back, undoing the golden hooks. Your hands reach up, pulling down the straps, tossing the lingerie to the floor. He swallows hard as you bare yourself to him. His hands reach up, cupping your breasts and massaging the flesh between his fingers. “You have the prettiest tits I’ve ever seen,” Joel compliments. 

For the millionth time that night, you feel yourself blush, and thank him by kissing his lips. His eyes are swimming with curiosity, and you know he has something on his mind. But if you’re not mistaken, he looks a little shy. 

Truthfully, there is something Joel wants to try. It’s something he’s always wanted to do. But he’s never dared to bring it up until he met you. You’re so different and open and willing to experiment. 

“What is it, Joel?” You ask, taking his hands in yours and kissing his fingers. He moves underneath you, his hardness poking your ass. There’s a pink dusting on his cheeks, and you hold back a giggle. He’s being so fucking cute. 

“I mean, you don’t have to say yes,” he says nervously, pulling his hands away and resting them on your hips. Your skin is warm against his palms as he rubs your sides up and down. 

“I know,” you smile, trailing your fingers down his chest. “I appreciate you saying that, though. But you can ask me anything, baby. You know I’m open to it.” 

Joel glances at your chest and bites his lip. What if you hate him for asking? He looks so awkward, you think it’s endearing. He never looks this flustered. But the way he’s staring at your chest, you think you know what he wants to ask.

“You want a titjob?” You giggle, and he actually turns red. God, he’s cute. You like him so much. “Joel, it’s okay, I'm all for it,” you express, licking your lips. You reach down between the two of you, keeping eye contact as you go for his sweats. Your quick fingers undo the knot easily. 

“Baby,” he whispers, running his fingers through your hair. 

He lets you pull his cock out of his pants, your soft hands sending a flutter throughout his stomach. He groans as you wrap your fingers around him, pumping him slowly. “You can fuck my tits anytime you want,” you say with such innocence he almost comes then and there. 

“Christ, you’re killing me,” he sighs, letting his head fall back. 

You squeeze him before removing your hand, bringing it to your mouth. He groans as he hears you spit onto your palm and tenses at the feeling of you lathering him up. You jerk him quickly, and his eyes snap open. “You ready?” You ask, standing on your feet. 

Joel nods, and you drop down to your knees. He leans back, hands splayed firmly on the mattress, staring in awe as you pinch your nipples. He closes his eyes as you guide his wet, leaking dick between your tits. The warm feeling that engulfs his length is indescribable, and he cannot believe you’re being this accessible to him. He’s never going to take that for granted.  

His breathing is heavy as he slowly rocks himself up against you. His mind is turning to sludge at the way your tits swallow his cock. He thrusts his hips up in a steady rhythm, and you wet your lips before poking your tongue out, lapping at his tip with each lunge upwards. You moan as his precum smears across your lips, swiping the saltiness away with a flick of your tongue. 

This whole tryst with Joel has been a surprise, from his untamed interest in you to his desire to be with you. But you have to admit, this right here, is something you never imagined happening. But you like it. You like how much he trusts you and how honest he is with his fantasies. You’re happy to be the one to fulfill his needs. Fuck, you have it bad. 

His light moans send heat to your belly. He’s so attractive, sweating and panting from your movements. You want to make him feel good. You need to make him feel good. Your hands grasp your chest, and you move your breasts up and down his cock, dragging louder grunts out of him. 

“Princess,” he pants, jerking his hips up. “I gotta fuck you. I need to be inside of you.” 

“You sure?” You ask, squeezing your chest around him again. “You can cum right now, Joel. Cum on me,” you whisper. 

“S-stop talking like that,” he groans and pulls you up. He takes you by surprise as he flips you over so your back hits the bed. You smile up at him, and he returns the gesture, dragging you to the edge of the mattress. He makes quick work of ridding you of your pants and the panties you ruined in the car. “So fucking sexy,” he murmurs, bending down to kiss you. 

When he stands, he spreads your legs, sliding his hand up your right leg. His lips kiss your soft skin, wrapping a hand around your ankle to hold you up. He uses his other hand to pin your left leg down, making it easy to slip into you. You both gasp as your hips meet, the feeling of being this close to him gets better each time. 

“Yes, Mr. Miller,” you rasp as he rocks his hips swiftly, pounding into your hot, wet pussy. You grab at your breasts, pinching them tight as your body shifts against his mattress. You think you’ll never get tired of the way he fucks you. He’s - as cheesy as it sounds - a God.

He looks up at the ceiling, moaning your name at how you feel around him. He doesn’t want to get ahead of himself, but being with you is the happiest he’s been in a long time. And you’re fucking incredible in every way. He knows he’s a lucky man. 

“Feel good, princess?” Joel asks, holding you tighter as he drags you into him, speeding up his movements. He hits that bundle of nerves inside of you each time, rough and fast, and you feel like you’re going to fall apart underneath him. 

“Fuck me, Joel, yes, you feel so good,” you moan, your hands falling behind your head weakly, letting the older man use your body how he wants. He leans down on you, holding your thigh up to thrust into you deeper. His free hand squeezes at your tits as his lips meet yours in a needy kiss. The space between you fills with airy moans and obscene grunts, and it’s filthy and perfect. 

Joel could fuck you forever. Your tight little body feels so fucking good beneath his, and your energy, the way you move, forces him to keep up with you in a way he hasn’t in years. You make him feel young, playful. And damn, you take him so well. He’s never felt so spry.  

He stands back, wrapping his hand around the back of your neck and pulling you up with him. Your leg rides up, angling over his shoulder, and you inhale as he fills you completely. He’s so thick and hard inside you, yet you want more. It’s not enough. His eyes meet yours, and you whimper. The feelings swirling inside of you are intense and a little scary. You’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You can't afford to fall for Joel this way. 

“Darlin’, I love fuckin’ you,” Joel grumbles, slamming into you hard and fast. Your former thoughts are put on hold. “Love the way this pussy feels on my cock. I thought about you all day. Could barely get any work done. Kept thinking about how sweet you taste. How sexy you look when you cum. You take up all my thoughts, dollface.” 

“Joel, don’t stop,” you moan, falling back against the bed once more. Your hand reaches down to your clit, intensifying the sensations that are already pulsating through your veins. 

“I wanna make you cum, baby,” he purrs, replacing your hand with his. “I love watching that cute little face of yours when you do.” 

“Fuck,” you’re panting, arching your back off the bed. Joel snaps his hips into you at a cruel pace, coaxing you to your climax. You can feel it bubble up inside of you, ready to break. Joel teases your clit and bites down on your neck, sharp teeth nipping at your flesh. “J-Joel!” 

Your entire body tenses as your orgasm crashes over you. You can feel yourself shaking, clenching your walls tightly around Joel’s cock as you cum, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Joel chuckles at your response, feeling rather proud of himself. Not bad for an old man. 

“Baby girl, gonna make me--” he cuts himself off as he groans, pinning your hands to the bed, giving you everything he has. “Fuck, fuck,” he gasps. 

“Joel, cum inside me.” you beg him, lifting your hips up to meet his. 

“Yeah? You’d like that wouldn’t you?” He teases, sweat beading on his forehead, trailing down his handsome face. 

“God, yes, Mr. Miller, fill me up,” you urge him, rubbing your hands over his chest. 

He curses under his breath, stilling inside you and moaning your name as he fills you with his seed. He collapses on top of you. And you welcome him, bringing your hand to his back, and scratching your nails over his skin lightly. You feel so content in this moment, you never want to leave. 

“You okay?” Joel asks through heavy breaths. 

“Perfect,” you assure him, kissing the top of his head. “I really need to shower, though,” you giggle. 

Joel hums and pushes himself up, helping you up in the process. “Go ahead. I’ll put your clothes in the wash, leave something out for you to wear.” 

“Mm, thanks, Mr. Miller,” you wink at him, making your way towards the bathroom. 

-

After showering, you walk out to Joel’s room and find a flannel laid out on his bed for you. He has your clothes in the washer so you pad around his apartment wearing only his shirt. Before you got in the shower, he told you he was going to cook up some food for the two of you. So when you enter the kitchen area, a cheesy alfredo smell welcomes you. 

“Damn, that smells amazing,” you sigh, taking a seat at the kitchen island as he cooks. He looks good standing over the stove, stirring sauce in a pot with a towel draped over his shoulder. 

“Hope it tastes good,” he chuckles, pouring the sauce over the noodles and then pouring those noodles into two separate bowls. He places some freshly grated parmesan on the counter in front of you and grabs utensils before gliding his way over to sit next to you. 

You accept the fork he hands you and twirl it in the bowl, collecting noodles around the tines. He watches as you take a bite, smiling at the satisfied look on your face. You let out a little moan, one he’s become quite familiar with, and he laughs. 

“Joel, wow,” you voice, taking another bite. “Where did you learn to cook so well?” 

He shrugs and begins eating. “Single dad, I guess. I tried to perfect everything for Sarah.” 

Sarah. You were doing so well not thinking about her. Now you feel guilty again. 

Before you have a chance to say anything else, Joel’s phone rings, startling you both. He scoffs and wipes at his face with a napkin before going to answer. “Tommy,” he mumbles, holding a finger up to excuse himself. “I’ll only be a moment, sweetheart,” he assures you. 

You nod and continue eating the delicious food, pretending you’re not listening in on Joel’s conversation. What can you say? You’re a nosy bitch. 

“No, I’m not comin’ out tonight,” you listen to Joel grumble. And although you can’t make out what Tommy’s saying, you can hear how loud he is on the other end of the line. He must be drunk already. “Because,” you hear Joel add. “I’m with someone.” 

That grabs your attention, your ears perking up at the mention of you. He doesn’t say your name, but he’s admitting to his brother that he has company. You weren’t expecting that. Interesting development. 

You can hear Tommy’s loud voice again, and you laugh. He’s so fucking chaotic. “No, I’m not tellin’ you,” Joel snaps at his brother. “Because you’re a pushy asshole. Leave me alone. I’m busy.” He huffs and hangs up the phone, tossing it onto the couch. 

He walks back over to you, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Everything okay?” You ask him with a chuckle. 

“He’s an idiot,” Joel rolls his eyes and takes his seat again. “He knows about us, by the way.” 

You’re shocked, almost choking on your pasta. “Um, what?” You sputter out. 

“Well, he doesn’t know the details,” he continues. “I’ve never confirmed anything, but he knows. He has to with how we've been hanging out.”

“Are you okay with that?” You ask curiously. Tommy knowing is kind of a big deal. He wouldn’t tell Sarah, obviously. But still. 

“I am,” he claims, a smile on his lips. “Are you?” 

“I am,” you reply, just as comfortable.

Series Masterlist

[celestialevie]

Sunshine // Charlie Weasley x Healer! reader

(Not my GIF, credit goes to the creator) Genre: fluff with tiny bit of angst words: 1.7k warnings: cursing, like one sentence of smut (so 16+ please), kissing, idiots being oblivious about their feelings, mentions of second degree burn, mentions of broken ankles etc. Summary: Being in love with your childhood best friend is never easy, no matter how much love there is. A/N: This is gender-neutral fic don't mind the gif also, please keep in mind English is not my first language. If there are any mistakes, please let me know. And also thank you so much again for the 100 followers!! Hope you enjoy the fic

Working at your dream job with your childhood best friend has been the absolute dream. Even though you just started working at the sanctuary recently, you’re already loving it. And how could you not when Charlie Weasley has been nothing but supportive and making sure you’re comfortable with everything. Until very recently, you’ve been working at St. Mungo’s since your apprenticeship ended, when Charlie told you that people at the sanctuary are looking for another healer to work in case something happens with the wizards working there. While it did break your heart to leave your two other best friends, Tonks and Penny, you couldn’t pass up on the opportunity to be even closer to Charlie. Everyone around you two knew your feelings for each other, while the two of you kept being oblivious to each other's feelings, not wanting to ruin your friendship. Doing this job wasn’t that hard, healing a few burns here and there, twisted ankles etc. Charlie would find excuses to go and see you, even if it wasn’t actually anything wrong with him. You’ve known Charlie since the first year of Hogwarts, when you ran into him on the train. And honestly, seeing him then, you should’ve known you would’ve caught feelings for him. Red hair and blue eyes, freckles all over his face. Who can blame you? Your thoughts have been interrupted when you heard a knock on your office door. ‘’ Come in! ‘’ you yelled as Charlie opened the door. ‘’ Hi sunshine ‘’ he smiled at you. ‘’ Should’ve known it was you. Are you injured, or did you just come to bother me? ‘’ You ask him with a smile on your face.’’ Actually injured. Baby dragon decided to give me attitude by breathing fire on my hand. ‘’ he approaches you and places himself on a bed meant for patients. Taking his hand in yours, you see the very much visible burn marks on his hand. ‘’ It’s only a second degree burn, thankfully, nothing a little of burn-healing paste can’t cure. I’ll apply it and then wrap it up so that it doesn’t accidentally budge or wipe off. In no matter of time, your hand will be as good as knew and ready for another baby dragon or maybe even mother dragon to burn it again. But please don’t actually get burnt again on that hand if possible or anywhere. Molly would throw a fit if she knew how much of your scars and injuries I heal. ‘’ You say as you grab the burn-healing paste and apply it to his hand and finish it off with wrapping a bandage around his hand. Gently tapping his cheek, he sighs and gets up. ‘’ Thank you sunshine, you’re my saviour. ‘’ he exaggerates while kissing your cheek, and he’s on his way out of your office. What you didn’t know is while healing and inspecting his wound, he finally decided he’ll act up on his feelings. But for that, he’ll need help from one person who’s been helping him ignore his feelings for you. Going back to his place, he quickly wrote a note and sent his owl to that person letting them know to come over to his place asap. A couple of hours have passed before he heard knocking on his door. Opening his door, he saw that they were wearing the same outfit they usually did when they were meeting up. ‘’ Sorry it took me a while to come over, I was at work. ‘’ Charlie gulped and let them in. ‘’ It’s no problem, let’s get this over with and honestly this will probably be the last time we meet up like this, Anna… I decided to stop being a coward and acknowledge my feeling for y/n and do something about them. ‘’ he smiled and at his words Anna’s lips stretched into a wide smile. ‘’ Charlie, that’s amazing! I’m happy for you, god, I wish I could do the same about my feelings for Peter. ‘’ her smile faded a bit and a frown replaced it. Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her passionately, leading her towards the couch and slowly lowering her down on it while not breaking the kiss. Pulling off the coat, he knew she had only underwear underneath it. Slowly kissing down her neck and gently biting into it, wanting to hear her moans, he knew he pulled out of her every time they meet up like this. Lowering himself and kissing down her chest, sucking on

her sweet skin he’s got so familiar with recently. As he took of her bra, and started sucking on her nipples, the door of his cabin opened, and he swears the time stopped for him when he heard y/n’s voice when they interrupted something. ‘’ Hey Charlie….oh I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt. Please continue, I’m going to go…’’ before he could even muster up a word, they apparated away somewhere. ‘’ FUCK! ‘’ He yelled as he got off of Anna and helped her get dressed. ‘’ Go find her, you idiot! Don’t just scream and shout! You should go find her and tell her everything. I’ll go home. ‘’ Anna yelled at him Giving Anna a small kiss on the cheek as an apology, he quickly tried to think of a place y/n could’ve gone to. The first thing he did was run to her house and started knocking on their door. When they didn’t answer the door, he went to their office. When he tried to enter it, the door was locked, so he knocked a couple of times before moving on to a different location. He remembered showing her a special spot by the lake, which he accidentally found when he first moved to Romania. Quickly imagining that place in his head, he apparated there, and that’s when he spotted them. Sitting by the lake and throwing small rocks at it. Taking a deep breath, he approached them.

‘’ Hey sunshine. ‘’ at the sound of his voice, they raised their head and looked behind them. ‘’ Charlie, hey…’’ clearing his throat, he slowly approached them. ‘’ Mind if I sit down next to you? Been looking around to find you. Just want to explain something to you and then after that I can leave you alone if that’s what you wish for. ‘’ they nodded their head and gently patted a spot next to them. Charlie sat down. ‘’ Can I just say before you start, I’m sorry for walking in your house without knocking or even letting you know I’ll stop by. Didn’t mean to interrupt you and Anna in your private business.’’ their voice was on the verge of breaking because god-damn did their heart break when they saw Charlie and Anna in the middle of whatever they were doing. ‘’ Oh god no sunshine, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything, it’s me who needs to apologize to you. I am so fucking sorry you saw that. But I need to explain that whole situation and for you to understand it I need you to listen to every word I say. Anna and I were nothing more than just fuck buddies. To just try and forget about all the pain in our hearts that we both felt. We never saw each other as more than occasional fuck buddies who were looking to feel something. Her heart is longing for someone else, and so does mine. Sunshine, I know that what you saw probably hurt you more than you’d like to admit to yourself and to me. God, I wish you didn’t see me and her, but….’’ he stops, taking your hands into his and looking into your eyes. My heart only longs and wishes for you, sunshine. God, I’ve never been more in love with someone more than I am in you. If you’re in love with me too or at least have some romantic feelings for me, it would make me the happiest man in the world. If you wish to stay only friends with me, I completely understand, I promise I won’t let my feelings for you ruin our friendship. You mean way too much to me for me to only ruin it because of some stupid feelings. You’re the most important person in my life. You can say what you wish to say now. ‘’ Charlie was preparing for the worse, but what he didn’t expect is for you to start crying. Noticing the panicking look in his eyes, you quickly reassure him. ‘’ No, no, don’t panic, these are the happy and frustrated tears. Penny and Tonks will be over the moon once I let them know they were right about the two of us all this time. ‘’ A small laugh escapes your lips. ‘’ I’ve been in love with you, Charlie, probably since the moment I first met you on the train. All these times I’ve told myself you only saw me as your best friend, how could you ever see me romantically. But I guess I was wrong. ‘’ you wipe away your tears as Charlie looks at you with so much love in his eyes. ‘’ Oh sunshine, I’ve never been happier to see someone laugh. ‘’ you pull him into a hug, never wanting to let him go. He pulls a little away only to press him lips onto yours. The kiss was never sweeter, wanting to keep kissing you for the rest of his life.

BONUS:

When both Penny and Tonks received a letter from you, they didn’t expect anything unusual. But what they received was the happiest news they’ve been wanting to hear since probably fifth year of Hogwarts. Charlie and you were officially together. Just like you expected, you received one big howler from them. ‘’ CHARLES WEASLEY AND Y/F/N L/N HOW DARE YOU ANNOUNCE THE NEWS WE’VE BEEN WANTING TO HEAR JUST CASUALLY IN THE LETTER. I EXPECTED BETTER FROM YOU TWO!! ‘’ Penny screamed, but Tonks was only laughing in the background. ‘’ As soon as we can, Penny and I will come over to the Romania and keep telling y/n ‘ I told you so ‘’ because I TOLD YOU SO YOU DUMB IDIOT! ‘’ Tonks yelled, and all you could do was laugh at Charlie’s shocked and kind of terrified face. Penny can be a bit scary when she wanted to be, and he definitely experienced Penny’s wrath back in Hogwarts. ‘’ Well, they seem to like the news. ‘’ you laughed as you pulled Charlie into a kiss.

[restapesta]

23. Don’t you get it? You’re the only one I can be honest with.

Mickey takes being alone with Ian for granted. He really does.

It's quite sad he only realizes that when he's not alone with his ginger life companion—specifically when he's stuck in a moving car with him and fucking Phillip, feeling like a pussy for not having the guts to just open the door and jump out.

Did Ian put child's lock on his door, what the fuck?

He can't do this. It's a fifteen-minute ride to the Gallagher house and Mickey won't be able to survive it. No fucking way. Why did Ian have to say yes to picking Lip up from work? Did he know what hell he would be putting his poor husband through, huh?

If college bitch says something about his shitty delivery job one more time, he swears to God—

"And you know what the best part about this shitty delivery job is?" No. Please, God, make him stop. "Bathroom? Doesn't even fucking exist,"

If Mickey had a gun, he'd stuff it in his mouth.

From the corner of his eye, Mickey sees Ian's gripping the wheel slightly tighter, his knuckles turning white, his tongue bitten between his slightly clenched teeth. Sadly, only Mickey can see him be so frustrated from the passenger seat. He wishes Lip would lean over from the back and see how fucking annoying he really is with his constant babbling.

Maybe it's good he didn't bring a gun with him—Ian looks like he'd wanna stuff it in his mouth, too.

Does he have child's lock on?

"Anyways," Lip breathes out and Mickey focuses on the buzzing of the AC so he wouldn't have to endure the brainwashing his brother-in-law's—why him?—voice is doing.

Ian seems to be thinking the same thing, his eyes rolling discreetly to the back of his head, staying there for a moment or two.

Mickey's torn between telling him to keep his eyes on the goddamn road or just letting him crash their new car into a pole. At least then they wouldn't have to listen to the yapping that's filling every nook and cranny of the fresh interior.

Their car had never seemed so small. Since when is Mickey so claustrophobic? There used to be so much room.

Oh right, Lip's ego is taking up most of it. How could Mickey forget?

"Oh, yeah," He says suddenly, and Ian and Mickey share a look. What now? Will he ever stop? "I meant to ask you about your meds, Ian. You told me you were visiting your doctor or some shit like that."

Mickey reclines back in his seat, lips pursing as he waits for Ian to fill Lip in on the new prescription and its side effects, and whatever other shit Mickey's already got written down in the notes on his phone from when Ian told him in detail about it.

He had been pretty down when he came home from seeing his doctors, listing off all of the shit he was worried about with the new therapy and adjusting to it. He even had a couple of sleepless nights that resulted in him seeking out different pharmacies to buy sleeping pills, which ultimately led to a night of sleepless vomiting because the cocktail of pills didn't really bode well for Ian's stomach.

Mickey doesn't mind reliving it. Doesn't mind listening to his husband talk about the things important to him and things that Mickey should know about.

And, truthfully, Mickey's already come face to face with the fact that he likes knowing about all of Ian's shit—they're already living, sleeping, and working together, so the prospect of knowing that new meds give Ian diarrhea if they're taken on an empty stomach doesn't really seem like a TMI-type of thing to know.

When Ian's related, nothing and everything is pretty much TMI.

"Oh," Ian responds after a moment of silence. His eyes aren't focused when Mickey turns to look at him. It seems as if he's racking his brain around for the proper words, yet can't seem to find them. Eventually, he just lets out, "Everything's the same. Nothing new."

Mickey knows that's not true.

"Didn't you say you were being put on some new shit?" Lip's confused. Mickey is too.

Ian was put on new shit. Shit that landed him with a week of goddamn exhaustion and a fucked-up stomach.

"No. It's the same."

"Oh," Lip mutters. "Okay then."

And he continues to go into another monologue about why being a delivery boy is such a shitty job to have with a mind of his.

Mickey stares at Ian's side profile for as long as it takes him to turn around and meet his eye. It takes him long—in fact, Mickey's pretty sure Ian won't be turning around any time soon.

Why would he lie? Why would he hide the fact he did change his meds when it's really not that big of a deal?

Mickey's even more confused by it because Ian had ranted about his doctor's appointment the day of it, nearly talking Mickey's ear off. He had been annoyed, relieved, and worried, all at the same time, and the entire Tuesday was just spent with them talking about bipolar like the mundane thing it was.

So, why wouldn't Ian just want to retell that shit again? It wasn't as if he didn't still have frustrations over it. Not like he wouldn't fucking jump on the chance to talk about his biggest concerns the second the opportunity presented itself.

Why then?

Lip's still talking and Ian's still not looking at him.

Mickey places a gentle hand on his thigh, trying to get his attention. In response to Mickey's thumb running over his husband's jeans, Ian just places a hand on top of his, picking it up and raising it to his mouth until the rough skin meets the smoothness of his lips. When he finally looks at him, there's a plead in his eye. An answer to Mickey's unasked question.

Later.

"Ugh, can you guys not do that here? Since when did you become that couple?"

They both ignore the dumbass in the backseat of their car. Ian turns to look ahead, and he pushes his foot down visibly on the gas pedal, and Mickey knows that the time until they're able to drop Lip off is cutting shorter.

"You guys are really annoying with that mind-reading shit, you know that?"

Mickey breathes in deeply.

Five more minutes. Just five more minutes and they'll be alone.

Ian's hand doesn't disentangle from his, but Mickey does move them so they're laying on top of his leg, palms pressed tightly together. He squeezes at it once.

Ian squeezes back.

There's a faint mumble from the back.

"I fucking hate being the third wheel."

Mickey barely stops himself from jumping into Ian's lap, just in spite.

Instead, with his free hand, he just flips him off.

---

They're driving to their place when Mickey finally asks the question. They've been alone for a couple of minutes now, after a prolonged—much to both their dismays—goodbye to Lip in front of the Gallagher house. As soon as it was appropriate to, Ian peeled out of the driveway, putting as much distance between him and his family—his annoying-ass brother—as he possibly could in a record time.

At first, Mickey fiddled with the radio until he landed on some radio station that played pop-shit music, lowering the volume until the Taylor Swift song—he hates that he knows it—was just a hum filling the silence. Ian isn't speaking, but he doesn't seem tense.

He seems just as always, shoulders even further relaxed—slumped, actually, because he has the posture of a question mark—now that Lip is out of the car and in the hands of the others to deal with.

"So," Mickey starts casually when his weirdo of a partner starts singing lowly to Lover on the radio. It's a song they only listen to when they're feeling sappier than usual, but Ian tends to always be sappy, so none of this sweet singing shit was a surprise for Mickey. The lyrics coming out of Ian's mouth still make his chest swell pleasantly, despite him barely holding himself back from rolling his eyes. "What was that?"

"Hm?" Ian's eyes momentarily move to eye Mickey. They go back almost immediately. "What was what?"

"What was that thing with Lip?" The question isn't meant to be judgmental nor accusing. Mickey really is just curious.

It wasn't him whom Ian had lied to. But why did he lie in the first place?

Ian shrugs, lowering the volume with the switch on the wheel even further until they can barely hear the soft voice.

"I just didn't feel like telling him." Is the simple reply.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Ian."

"Mickey—"

"Come on, man, don't give me that bullshit."

"I'm not—I don't," He exhales roughly as if finally forcing himself to admit to something he doesn't want to admit to. "I don't like anybody knowing about it. It's nobody's business but my own."

Mickey makes a face, still confused as fuck. He gets the reasoning behind the words, but it's just not clicking in his brain. Maybe Lip really did brainwash it. "You say you don't like anybody knowing, but you told me."

Ian glances away from the road and sends Mickey the type of look that says he thinks what Mickey just said was the dumbest thing possible. It's incredulous.

"You're not anybody, Mick."

And that's sweet and all, but—

"Lip's not anybody either."

Ian sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, dramatically exasperated. "Don't you get it, Mickey? You're the only one I can be honest with. Completely transparent."

Mickey doesn't know why he's still pushing, but fuck, there's no way. "You can be transparent with Lip. He'll hear you out, give you advice. Won't judge you." Why is he defending Lip again? "I'm not the only one who understands."

"Yeah, but you're the only one who isn't annoying about it. If I wanted Lip to know, I would've called him straight away. But instead, I talked to you. Mickey, you're a dumbass if you don't see that you're the only one I want to tell."

Well fuck.

Mickey blinks. He actually is a dumbass, but that's already been genetically proven. This is something else.

Mickey feels Ian's words deep in his chest. His heart jumps to his throat—it's one of the best things Ian could've said to him. It doesn't feel fucking real.

"Really?" He asks pathetically. It's not like Ian would lie; he's always had a knack for saying everything that's on his mind. Mickey loves that about him right now. It's just that—Mickey? He wants to tell Mickey about it and nobody else?

Ian smiles at him. "Really, babe," Mickey blushes as the nickname. "You know just how many questions to ask. When to listen and when to talk. When to give me advice and when to tell me to get out of my own head." Ian's eyebrows furrow. "Lip doesn't know how to do that. Not like you—"

No. Mickey will not cry. No. It's just eyeball sweat.

"—With you, I know that I can say whatever is on my mind and won't feel like shit about it. It's fucking liberating, having somebody like that."

Mickey breathes in deeply. Fuck Ian for using his words like this and making his heart squeeze impossibly. Why is he so fucking perfect all the fucking time?

How did Mickey get so fucking lucky?

"Yeah," He responds dumbly, out of breath—because it legit is logged up in his throat at the moment. He clears it. "I guess that's what best friends are for."

And the grin Ian sends him in response to the sheepishly-said sentence is enough to make butterflies explode inside Mickey's belly—ugh, no, he's supposed to be past that stage, for fuck's sake.

Ian's still grinning as Mickey's whole face probably turns the shade of Ian's favorite vegetable—maybe that's why Ian likes it when Mickey blushes—and he has to avert his gaze so he doesn't go even redder than Ian's hair.

"Best friends? I feel honored, Mick."

"Shut up."

"No, for real."

"Shut up."

Ian laughs and spares Mickey the embarrassment by raising the volume up on the radio, the song now booming loudly through the space.

Ian glances over at Mickey right as he starts singing it joyfully, a wide smile on his face. This is the Ian Mickey knows and loves—happy Ian.

Mickey's favorite Ian after the horny one.

Mickey's chest swells with pride. He ended up with Ian. The Ian who loves him unconditionally; who knows just the right to say and when to say it; who just told him Mickey's the only one he can be real with.

I can only be honest with you, too. He wants to tell him. I only am honest with you.

Instead of saying the words, he starts singing himself, and the screeching voices of two men stupidly in love are seeping out of the slightly opened windows, the wind whooshing them away.

I can only do this with you, Mickey thinks. I'm only this free with you.

Judging by the way Ian's smiling, Mickey guesses he's thinking the same thing, too.

"Darling, you're my, my, my, my lover."

[tipsydipsydo]

Pairing: tall! & sub! Reader x dom! OT7 BTS

Gender of the Reader: male

Word Count: 2.3k  

Rating: 18+

Genre: Smut/PwP

Warnings: Dirty Language + Dirty Talk; Dom-/Sub-Dynamics; accidental overhearing of a phone call, Mentions of Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Mentions of Sex Toys & Masturbation; slightly mentioned Double Penetration; mentions of Anal play; Praising; Petnames; some Degradation; Daddy-Kink; Teasing; slight Edging; the boys are teasing the poor reader to Death

A/N: Well- that was a quick writing. Instead of studying I decided to write this funny request and to use my procrastination in a better way than scrolling stressed through TikTok. I hope y’all like it!!

Status: unedited bc I am lazy and should study. 

Request: i want to request a drabble/one shot: sub taller male reader and his seven boyfriends in which he confidently talks naughty things with his friend on phone but when he realized his bf are watching, he became crazily shy because he is just a big cute boy, then his bf decided they want to test those ‘words’ he has said, poor boy =))

Requested by: anonymous 

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I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

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Thank you.

After too many and super busy weeks full of work, you’ve finally managed to find a free afternoon in your schedule where your best friend and you have enough time for a nice, long telephone call on the couch. You are already over one and a half hour on the phone, exchanging the newest stuff that happened in your life with each other and joking around. Slowly your conversation turns their focus to your more private life and your bestie asks you about your polyamorous relationship with your boyfriends. At first just normal things like, how’s it going in general, how you all manage the relationship with all the different time schedules, how often it comes to fights and how you deal with that etc. Just normal stuff and  the ‘typical’ questions you’re already used to, when people realize that you’re not in a monogamous relationship. 

Your best friend and you grew up together. You met each other in elementary school, went through the curses of puberty as an inseparable team and even survived middle and high school thanks to the other one. Already in your teens, where both of you made your first experiences and got into your first relationships, your best friend had a guess that you’re not as straight as you want him to believe. No, they even assumed that you’re maybe not made for the typical monogamous relationship which the society preach every fucking day. 

Well, turns out that your best friend really knew you better than you did yourself back then but honestly, nowadays you’re thankful for their suggestions and that they gave you the save space you needed to dare to make new experiences in those directions. 

Nevertheless, they were still more than surprised when you introduced him to not only two or three boyfriends, no that you brought seven (!) other men to their birthday party two years ago. At first they were a little worried if you didn’t overload yourself with such a complex relationship dynamic and that it’ll turn out as a serious burden and not an enrichment for your life. Turns out, now it was their turn to make a false assumption about what’s the best for you and theu were more than happy to admit that everything turned out just fine. It truly makes their heart swell to hear the happiness in your voice through the phone everything you mention something about the boys. 

Quickly your phone call turn into an even more private talk and dedicate itself to the really interesting stuff. You’re sharing every detail in your life with another, so why should it stop when it comes to sex talk? You have absolutely no problem and any shame to talk freely with your best friend about your kinks and dirty thoughts. Sometimes you even think that you’re better informed about each other’s preferences better than your actual partner(s) are. 

“I think, I already told you that idea more than once... that I have a thing for exhibitionism and the thought of getting catched doing something ‘forbitten’ or ‘dirty’, right? Uhm... TMI but I don’t give a shit, whenever I am alone at home because they’re busy and we can’t meet for some days... I mastubate with some of the toys they’ve bought for me and imagine that they catch me. You know, when we have sessions with Dom and Sub Dynamics, they’re only temporarily and usually we go back to normal in the moment when the scene is over... that means, when I am alone and horny, I can do whatever I want to. I can jack off or fuck myself as much I desire and they wouldn’t say anything about it. It’s not like, I don’t appreciate my personal freedom when it comes to masturbation or that I want something completely different, no! We both already talked about that too, I don’t like the idea of Total Power Exchange, I prefer to be an independent person as soon as I walk out of the bedroom- okay, not only bedroom, we have sex in other places than the bedroom too- ANYWAY, what I wanted to say with that: ...”, you mutter and take a deep breath into your lungs. 

After holding such a long monologue your mouth dried up terribly and now you need quickly something to drink. You get up from the couch and walk over to the kitchen island to pour some soda into a glass. A satisfied hum leaves your throat after you took some gulps of your favourite sparkling sugar bomb. 

The whole time, where you moved around in the eat-in kitchen of the apartment, you are not that alone anymore as you thought you’d be, especially right in this moment. Namjoon, Hoseok and a boyish smirking Jimin joined you around ten minutes ago, leaning casually against the wall next to the door of the room and listen very interested to the conversation you have with your friend right now. They didn’t mean to overhear your private talk, they just wanted to know what kind of take-out food you’d prefer for tonight. 

Unfortunately your conversation turned out to be very, very interesting for them, so they decided to give you some more time to talk with your best friend about the sexual fantasies you have which they don’t know about... well, until now.

Hoseok texted the other boys in the group chat to join them in the living room as well, they need to hear those very important information too! 

Poor you, completely oblivious and naïve to what’s happening in this moment, not getting any kind of hint that not only your best friend would get those significant informations...

“...-what I actually wanted to say with that: I prefer to be independent in relation to all other non-sexual life-responsibilities. Well, that doesn’t mean we couldn’t increase the Erotic Power Exchange, right? To be very honest, I can’t get the fantasy of them taking my sextoys away and to forbid me to touch myself without their permission out of my head. I love to be their good boy and to get praises, I really do... but there is this thrill to be break the instructed rules, getting caught while doing it and getting punished for it. I want... I want to get called bad, filthy and dirty names, I want to be a disobedient, greedy and insatiable slut for them. I want to get spanked, edged and overstimulated, I want to get fucked into the mattress so bad, up to the point where I can’t get a single clear thought together and my brain turned to mush... I want to get used, ruined and wrecked by their cocks, getting my holes stuffed full with their cum and then plugged up, so nothing can run out anymore- God fuck, I should stop talking like that or I’ll get a serious problem! Well... sorry for so much detailed TMI, you know that this shit always happens when you tell me to stop overthinking and encourage me to spill everything that comes to my mind. Now you got every filthy detail you’ve asked for, you’re welcome.”, you joke sarcastically and facepalm yourself. You can’t believe how incredibly blunt and shameless you just threw your latest sex fantasy in every fucking detail at your poor best friend. 

Usually you’re more than shy to talk about such things, in your understanding the magic for your shameless mouth towards your best friend has to reside in the deep thrust you have in him and simply the knowledge that your relationship is platonic. It’s not like that you couldn’t trust your boyfriends wholeheartedly, god no! You know, that they would never kinkshame you for anything, 

it’s just... after sharing those thoughts it would result something out of it. You don’t want that they  think you’re a weirdo or that they only do specific things because they know it would turn you on. 

The other one just snorts in amusement when you voice this slight helpless apology, they can imagine the significant blush which has settled down on your cheeks. 

“Hey buddy, don’t apologize for that. There is nothing to apologizing for, I am way too curious for my own good as well and I need to make sure that you’re happy in your relationship, especially when it comes to the point if they are able to fulfill your sexual desires. I need to know that, believe me. Okay, there’s one thing... I knew you were submissive, my dude. But I didn’t expect that you’d be such a masochistic hoe and that you’d have such a thing for degradation, Jesus! Nevermind, more important: did you talked with them about that fantasy? Would they be down for this idea and would they like to be more in charge? Please do not tell me that you’re too shy to talk with them about it, not again! I tell you this every goddamn time, communication is key!”, your best friend says to you in a serious tone. 

Here you go again, getting scolded by your friend all over again. He is right, you know that... y’all already talked about ‘how to deal with certain kinks some of them or you have but the others aren’t into and how to not make them feel bad or insecure about it’ several times, you tend to overthink everything you have ever said to them all over again. You are always so flustered when seven pairs of eyes are looking at you, waiting for an answer. You are tall, even taller than Namjoon, but under their curious stares you feel always so small, fiddling with your fingers around like a little schoolboy. You love that about them, putting you into such a submissive place just with their aura and charisma and giving you the feeling as if they overtower you physically too. 

“I can absolutely agree with Y/BF/N, communication is key. Why didn’t you told us those nasty fantasies you have in your cute head up here, right away? Too shy again? Do we really need to call your best friend the next time to get some hints to your secret kinks, Babyboy?”, Taehyung rasps into your earshell and wraps his arms around you. He chuckles slightly as you squeak high-pitched in surprise. 

An equal surprised yelp of your best friend comes out of the speaker of your phone which takes Yoongi out of your hand and excuse you with the apology that ‘they need to have an important talk with you now and that you have to hang up unfortunately’. 

The display of your phone turns dark and Yoongi puts it on the surface of the kitchen island before he flashes you a dirty smile. That you’re mortified that they caught you spilling all those filthy fantasies to your best friend is the understatement of the century. Never and you mean never did you hoped so bad that the floor opens up and swallows you whole, saving you from this embarrassing misery. But Yoongi give you much time to drown in shame, coming up to you and connect your lips to a rough kiss. 

“God, I love it when our so sweet and shy Baby has such nasty and indecent fantasies in his head... why don’t you tell us these ideas in every single filthy detail once again? I think we could turn the information into some very good use, big boy~”, whispers the smaller one with blown-out eyes against your lips.

“...or would you prefer that we call you a needy cumslut, hm? The things I’ve heard give me the assumption that you want to get fucked stupid and pumped full with cum as if you are our personal playtoy?”, growls Jungkook and grabs himself a handful of your right asscheek, kneading it with a firm grip in his big palm. 

“Come on, big boy, admit that you want exactly the things Jungkook just said... I can feel how fucking hard you just got from his words... already so hard and swollen against my palm even though we barely touched you. You’re truly such a pathetic, needy slut... I bet you’d already cum in your pants if we just tease you enough... Am I right?”, chuckles Namjoon in his deep, arousal soaked timbre against your neck, nibbling at the sensitive spot of your Adam’s apple. 

“...what about we change our location to the bedroom and talk about the things you’ve said to Y/BF/N? Maybe we could try some of your newest kinks out? Would you like the thought of us watching you from the couch while you prepare your needy asshole for us? Showing us how you stuff you clenching rim with a girthy dildo? Wearing a cockring so you couldn’t cum without our permission? Prepping yourself all messy, whining for our finger, tongues and dicks in your ass like the greedy slut you are? Yeah, you’d love that thought.”, Seokjin teases you mercilessly, rolling your sensitive balls in his palm, just how you like it.  “Y-Yes, Daddies... I’d love to be a greedy cumslut for you... please turn me into one!”, you wisper. 

@cys-mental-escapades​; @bangtanloverboys​; @btsxmalereaders​

[army-of-mai-lovers]

in which I get progressively angrier at the various tropes of atla fandom misogyny

tbh I think it would serve all of us to have a larger conversation about the specific ways misogyny manifests in this fandom, because I’ve seen a lot of people who characterize themselves as feminists, many of whom are women themselves, discuss the female characters of atla/lok in misogynistic ways, and people don’t talk about it enough. 

disclaimer before I start: I’m not a woman, I’m an afab nonbinary person who is semi-closeted and thus often read as a woman. I’m speaking to things that I’ve seen that have made me uncomfy, but if any women (esp women existing along other axes of oppression, e.g. trans women, women of color, disabled women, etc) want to add onto this post, please do!

“This female character is a total badass but I’m not even a little bit interested in exploring her as a human being.” 

I’ve seen a lot of people say of various female characters in atla/lok, “I love her! She’s such a badass!” now, this statement on its own isn’t misogynistic, but it represents a pretty pervasive form of misogyny that I’ve seen leveled in large part toward the canon female love interests of one or both of the members of a popular gay ship (*cough* zukka *cough*) I’m going to use Suki as an example of this because I see it with her most often, but it can honestly be applied to nearly every female character in atla/lok. Basically, people will say that they stan Suki, but when it comes time to engage with her as an actual character, they refuse to do it. I’ve seen meta after meta about Zuko’s redemption arc, but I so rarely see people engage with Suki on any level beyond “look at this cool fight scene!” and yeah, I love a cool Suki fight scene as much as anybody else, but I’m also interested in meta and headcanons and fics about who she is as a person, when she isn’t an accessory to Sokka’s development or doing something cool. of course, the material for this kind of engagement with Suki is scant considering she doesn’t have a canon backstory (yet) (don’t let me down Faith Erin Hicks counting on you girl) but with the way I’ve seen people in this fandom expand upon canon to flesh out male characters, I know y’all have it in you to do more with Suki, and with all the female characters, than you currently do. frankly, the most engagement I’ve seen with Suki in mainstream fandom is justifying either zukki (which again, is characterizing her in relation to male characters, one of whom she barely interacts with in canon) or one of the Suki wlw pairings. which brings me to--

“I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!” 

now, I will admit, two of my favorite atla ships are yueki and mailee, and so I totally understand being interested in these characters’ dynamics, even if, as is the case with yueki, they’ve never interacted canonically. however, it becomes a problem for me when these ships are always in the background of a zukka fic. at some point, it becomes obvious that you like this ship because it gets either Zuko or Sokka’s female love interests out of the way, not because you actually think the characters would mesh well together. It’s bad form to dislike a female character because she gets in the way of your gay ship, so instead, you find another girl to pair her off with and call it a day. to be clear, I’m not saying that everybody who ships either mailee or yueki (or tysuki or maisuki or yumai or whatever other wlw rarepair involving Zuko or Sokka’s canon love interests) is nefariously trying to sideline a female character while acting publicly as if she’s is one of their faves--far from it--but it is noteworthy to me how difficult it is to find content that centers wlw ships, while it’s incredibly easy to find content that centers zukka in which mailee and/or yueki plays a background role. 

also, notice how little traction wlw Katara ships gain in this fandom. when’s the last time you saw yuetara on your dash? there’s no reason for wlw Katara ships to gain traction in a fandom that is so focused on Zuko and Sokka getting together, bc she doesn’t present an immediate obstacle to that goal (at least, not an obstacle that can be overcome by pairing her up with a woman). if you are primarily interested in Zuko and Sokka’s relationship, and your queer readings of other female characters are motivated by a desire to get them out of the way for zukka, then Katara’s canon m/f relationship isn’t a threat to you, and thus, there’s no reason to read her as potentially queer. Or even, really, to think about her at all. 

“Katara’s here but she’s not actually going to do anything, because deep down, I’m not interested in her as a person.” 

the show has an enormous amount of textual evidence to support the claim that Sokka and Katara are integral parts of each other’s lives. so, she typically makes some kind of appearance in zukka content. sometimes, her presence in the story is as an actual character with layers and nuance, someone whom Sokka cares about and who cares about Sokka in return, but also has her own life and goals outside of her brother (or other male characters, for that matter.) sometimes, however, she’s just there because halfway through writing the author remembered that Sokka actually has a sister who’s a huge part of the show they’re writing fanfiction for, and then they proceed to show her having a meetcute with Aang or helping Sokka through an emotional problem, without expressing wants or desires outside of those characters. I’m honestly really surprised that I haven’t seen more people calling out the fact that so much of Katara’s personality in fanon revolves around her connections to men? she’s Aang’s girlfriend, she’s Sokka’s sister, she’s Zuko’s bestie. never mind that in canon she spends an enormous amount of time fighting against (anachronistic, Westernized) sexism to establish herself as a person in her own right, outside of these connections. and that in canon she has such interesting complex relationships with other female characters (e.g. Toph, Kanna, Hama, Korra if you want to write lok content) or that there are a plethora of characters with whom she could have interesting relationships with in fanon (Mai, Suki, Ty Lee, Yue, Smellerbee, and if you want to write lok content, Kya II, Lin, Asami, Senna, etc). to me, the lack of fandom material exploring Katara’s relationships with other women or with herself speak to a profound indifference to Katara as a character. I’m not saying you have to like Katara or include her in everything you write, but I am asking you to consider why you don’t find her interesting outside of her relationships with men.

“I hate Katara because she talks about her mother dying too often.” 

this is something I’ve seen addressed by people far more qualified than I to address it, but I want to mention it here in part because when I asked people which fandom tropes they wanted me to talk about, this came up often, but also because I find it really disgusting that this is a thing that needs to be addressed at all. Y’all see a little girl who watched her mother be killed by the forces of an imperialist nation and say that she talks about it too much??? That is a formational, foundational event in a child’s life. Of course she’s going to talk about it. I’ve seen people say that she doesn’t talk about it that often, or that she only talks about it to connect with other victims of fn imperialism e.g. Jet and Haru, but frankly, she could speak about it every episode for no plot-significant reason whatsoever and I would still be angry to see people say she talks about it too much. And before you even bring up the Sokka comparison, people deal with grief in different ways. Sokka  repressed a lot of his grief/channeled it into being the “man” of his village because he knew that they would come for Katara next if he gave them the opportunity. he probably would talk about his mother more if a) he didn’t feel massive guilt at not being able to remember what she looked like, and b) he was allowed to be a child processing the loss of his mother instead of having to become a tiny adult when Hakoda had to leave to help fight the fn. And this gets into an intersection with fandom racism, in that white fans (esp white American fans) are incapable of relating to the structural trauma that both Sokka and Katara experience and thus can’t see the ways in which structural trauma colors every single aspect of both of their characters, leading them to flatten nuance and to have some really bad takes. And you know what, speaking of bad fandom takes--   

“Shitting on Mai because she gets in the way of my favorite Zuko ship is actually totally okay because she’s ~abusive~” 

y’all WHAT. 

ok listen, I get not liking maiko. I didn’t like it when I first got into fandom, and later I realized that while bryke cannot write romance to save their lives, fans who like maiko sure can, so I changed my tune. but if you still don’t like it, that’s fine. no skin off my back. 

what IS skin off my back is taking instances in which Mai had justified anger toward Zuko, and turning it into “Mai abused Zuko.” do you not realize how ridiculous you sound? this is another thing where I get so angry about it that I don’t know how useful my analysis is actually going to be, but I’ll do my best. numerous people have noted how analysis of Mai and Zuko’s breakup in “The Beach” or Mai being justifiably angry with him at Boiling Rock or her asking for FUCKING FRUIT in “Nightmares and Daydreams” that says that all of these events were her trying to gain control over him is....ahhh...lacking in reading comprehension, but I’d like to go a step further and talk about why y’all are so intent on taking down a girl who doesn’t show emotion in normative ways. obviously, there’s a “Zuko can do no wrong” aspect to Mai criticism (which is super weird considering how his whole arc is about how he can do lots of wrong and he has to atone for the wrong that he’s done--but that’s a separate post.) But I also see slandering Mai for not expressing her emotions normatively and not putting up with Zuko’s shit and slandering Katara for “talking about her mother too often” as two sides of the same coin. In both cases, a female character expresses emotions that make you, the viewer, uncomfortable, and so instead of attempting to understand where those emotions may have come from and why they might be manifesting the way they are, y’all just throw the whole character away. this is another instance of people in the fandom being fundamentally disinterested in engaging with the female characters of atla in a real way, except instead of shallowly “stanning” Mai, y’all hate her. so we get to this point where female characters are flattened into one of two things: perfect queens who can do no wrong, or bitches. and that’s not who they are. that’s not who anyone is. but while we as a fandom are pretty good at understanding b1 Zuko’s actions as layered and multifaceted even though he’s essentially an asshole then, few are willing to lend the same grace to any female character, least of all Mai. 

and what’s funny is sometimes this trope will intersect with “I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!”, so you’ll have someone actively calling Mai toxic/problematic/abusive, and at the same time ship her with Ty Lee? make it make sense! but then again, maybe that’s happening because y’all are fundamentally disinterested in Ty Lee as a character too. 

“I love Ty Lee so much that I’m going to treat her like an infantilized hypersexual airhead!” 

there are so many things happening in y’alls characterization of Ty Lee that I struggled to synthesize it into one quippy section header. on one hand, you have the hypersexualization, and on the other hand, you have the infantilization, which just makes the hypersexualization that much worse. 

(of course, sexualizing or hypersexualizing ANY atla character is really not the move, considering that these are child characters in a children’s show, but then again, that’s a separate post.) 

now, I understand how, from a very, very surface reading of the text, you could come to the conclusion that Ty Lee is an uncomplicated bimbo. if you grew up on Western media the way I did, you’ll know that Ty Lee has a lot of the character traits we associate with bimbos: the form-fitting pink crop top, the general conventional attractiveness, the ditzy dialogue. but if you think about it for more than three seconds, you’ll understand that Ty Lee has spent her whole life walking a tightrope, trying to please Azula and the rest of the royal family while also staying true to herself. Ty Lee and Azula’s relationship is a really complex and interesting topic that I don’t really have time to explore at the moment given how long this post is, but I’d argue that Ty Lee’s constant, vocal  adulation is at least partially a product of learning to survive at court at an early age. Like Mai, she has been forced to regulate her emotions as a member of fn nobility, but unlike Mai, she also has six sisters who look exactly like her, so she has a motivation to be more peppy and more affectionate to stand out. 

fandom does not do the work to understand Ty Lee. as is a theme with this post, fandom is actively disinterested in investigating female characters beyond a very surface level reading of them. Thus, fandom takes Ty Lee’s surface level qualities--her love of the color pink, her revealing standard outfit, and the fact that once she found a boy attractive and also once a lot of boys found her attractive--and they stretch this into “Ty Lee is basically Karen Smith from Mean Girls.” thus, Ty Lee is painted as a bimbo, or more specifically, as not smart, uncritically adoring of Azula (did y’all forget all the non-zukka bits of Boiling Rock?), and attractive to the point of hypersexualization. I saw somebody make a post that was like “I wish mailee was more popular but I’m also glad it isn’t because otherwise people would write it as Mai having to put up with her dumb gf” and honestly I have to agree!! this is one instance in which I’m glad that fandom doesn’t discuss one of my favorite characters that often because I hate the fanon interpretation of Ty Lee, I think it’s rooted in misogyny (particularly misogyny against East Asian women, which often takes the form of fetishizing them and viewing them only through a Western white male gaze)  

(side note: here at army-of-mai-lovers, we stan bimbos. bimbos are fucking awesome. I personally don’t read Ty Lee as a bimbo, but if that’s you, that’s fucking awesome. keep doing what you’re doing, queen <3 or king or monarch, it’s 2021, anyone can be a bimbo, bitches <3)

“Toph can and will destroy everyone here with her bare hands because she’s a meathead who likes to murder people and that’s it!”  

Toph is, and always has been, one of my favorite ATLA characters. My very first fic in fandom was about her, and she appears prominently in a lot of my other work as well. One thing that I am always struck by with Toph is how big a heart she has. She’s independent, yes, snarky, yes, but she cares about people--even the family that forced her to make herself smaller because they didn’t believe that their blind daughter could be powerful and strong. Her storyline is powerful and emotionally resonant, her bending is cool precisely because it’s based in a “wait and listen” approach instead of just smashing things indiscriminately, she’s great disabled rep, and overall one of the best characters in the show. 

And in fandom, she gets flattened into “snarky murder child.” 

So where does this come from? Well, as we all know, Toph was originally conceived of as a male character, and retained a lot of androgyny (or as the kids call it, Gender) when she was rewritten as a female character. There are a lot of cultural ideas about androgynous/butch women being violent, and people in fandom seem to connect that larger cultural narrative with some of Toph’s more violent moments in the show to create the meathead murder child trope, erasing her canon emotionality, softness, heart, and femininity in the process. 

This is not to say that you shouldn’t write or characterize Toph as being violent or snarky at all ever, because yeah, Toph definitely did do Earth Rumbles a lot before joining the gaang, and yeah, Toph is definitely a sarcastic person who makes fun of her friends a lot. What I am saying is that people take these traits, sans the emotional logic, marry them to their conception of androgynous/butch women as violent/unemotional/uncaring, and thus create a caricature of Toph that is not at all up to snuff. When I see Toph as a side character in a fic (because yeah, Toph never gets to be a main character, because why would a fandom obsessed with one male character in particular ever make Toph a protagonist in her own right?) she’s making fun of people, killing people, pranking people, etc, etc. She’s never talking to people about her emotions, or palling around with her found family, or showing that she cares about her friends. Everything about her relationship with her parents, her disability, her relationship to Gender, and her love of her friends is shoved aside to focus on a version of Toph that is mean and uncaring because people have gotten it into their heads that androgynous/butch women are mean and uncaring. 

again, we see a female character who does not emote normatively or in a way that makes you, the viewer, comfortable, and so you warp her character until she’s completely unrecognizable and flat. and for what? 

Azula

no, I didn’t come up with a snappy name for this section, mainly because fanon interpretations of Azula and my own feelings toward the character are...complicated. I know there were some people who wanted me to write about Azula and the intersection of misogyny and ableism in fanon interpretations of her character, but I don’t think I can deliver on that because I personally am in a period of transition with how I see Azula. that is to say, while I still like her and believe that she can be redeemed, there is a lot of merit to disliking her. the whole point of this post is that the female characters of ATLA are complex people whom the fandom flattens into stereotypes that don’t hold up to scrutiny, or dislike for reasons that don’t make sense. Azula, however, is a different case. the rise of Azula defenders and Azula stans has led to this sentiment that Azula is a 14 y/o abuse victim who shouldn’t be held accountable for her actions. it seems to me that people are reacting to a long, horrible legacy of male ATLA fans armchair diagnosing Azula with various personality disorders (and suggesting that people with those personality disorders are inherently monstrous and unlovable which ahhhh....yikes) and then saying that those personality disorders make her unlovable, which is quite obviously bad. and hey, I get loving a character that everyone else hates and maybe getting so swept up in that love that you forget that your fave is complicated and has made some unsavory choices. it sucks that fanon takes these well-written, complex villains/antiheroes and turns them into monsters with no critical thought whatsoever. but the attitude among Azula stans that her redemption shouldn’t be hard, that her being a child excuses all of the bad things that she’s done, that she is owed redemption....all of that rubs me the wrong way. I might make another post about this in the future that discusses this in more depth, but as it stands now: while I understand that there is a legacy of misogynistic, ableist, unnuanced takes on Azula, the backlash to that does not take into account the people she hurt or the fact that in ATLA she does not make the choice to pursue redemption. and yes, Zuko had help in making that choice that Azula didn’t, and yes, Azula is a victim of abuse, but in a show about children who have gone through untold horrors and still work to better the lives of the people around them, that is not enough for me to uncritically stan her. 

Conclusion    

misogyny in this fandom runs rampant. while there are some tropes of fandom misogyny that are well-documented and have been debunked numerous times, there are other, subtler forms of misogyny that as far as I know have gone completely unchecked. 

what I find so interesting about misogyny in atla fandom is that it’s clear that it’s perpetrated by people who are aware of fandom misogyny who are actively trying not to be misogynistic. when I first joined atla fandom last summer, memes about how zukka fandom was better than every other fandom because they didn’t hate the female characters who got in the way of their gay ship were extremely prevalent, and there was this sense that *this* fandom was going to model respectful, fun, feminist online fandom. not all of the topes I’ve outlined are exclusive to or even largely utilized in zukka fandom, but a lot of them are. I’ve been in and out of fandom since I was eleven years old, and most of the fandom spaces I’ve been in have been majority-female, and all of them have been incredibly misogynistic. and I always want to know why. why, in these communities created in large part by women, in large part for women, does misogyny run wild? what I realize now is that there’s never going to be a one-size fits all answer to that question. what’s true for 1D fandom on Wattpad in 2012 is absolutely not true for atla fandom on tumblr in 2021. the answers that I’ve cobbled together for previous fandoms don’t work here. 

so, why is atla fandom like this? why did the dream of a feminist fandom almost entirely focused on the romantic relationship between two male characters fall apart? honestly, I think the notion that zukka fandom ever was this way was horrifically ignorant to begin with. from my very first moment in the fandom, I was seeing racism, widespread sexualization of minors, and yes, misogyny. these aspects of the fandom weren’t talked about as much as the crocverse or other, much more fun aspects. further, atla (specifically zukka) fandom misogyny often doesn’t look like the fandom misogyny we’ve become familiar with from like, Sherlock fandom or what have you. for the most part, people don’t actively hate Suki, they just “stan” without actually caring about her. they hate Mai because they believe in treating male victims of abuse equally. they’re not characterizing Toph poorly, they’re writing her as a “strong woman.” in short, people are misogynistic, and then invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of feminist theory to shield themselves from accusations of misogyny. it’s not unlike the way some people will invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of critical race theory to shield themselves from accusations of racism, or how they’ll talk about “freedom of speech” and “the suppression of women’s sexuality” to justify sexualizing minors. the performance of feminism and antiracism is what’s important, not the actual practice. 

if you’ve made it this far, first off, hi, thanks so much for reading, I know this was a lot. second, I would seriously encourage you to be aware of these fandom tropes and to call them out when you see them. elevate the voices of fans who do the work of bringing the female characters of atla to life. invest in the wlw ships in this fandom. drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic (please, drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic). read some yuetara. let’s all be honest about where we are now, and try to do better in the future. I believe in us. 

[fanmoose12]

Levihan Week 2021

Day two: Confessions

Summary: Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time.

"Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time."

It was an advice that Erwin once gave him, during one of the rare instances when the late Commander allowed himself to shrug off his heavy duty and act like a normal human.

Back then, Levi didn't understand the meaning of his words, didn't realize how this philosophical remark could be related to his question about “that red-haired lady that visited our barracks with Dawk today”.

But time went on, and the words refused to leave Levi's mind. Watching his fellow scouts, his friends and subordinates, he couldn't help but remember Erwin's wisdom.

Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time

The more Levi thought about it, the more he started to believe that it was a universal truth. Blurt out the wrong thing to the wrong person or in the wrong time, and you create a misunderstanding, tension or even a conflict.

Blurt out the right thing to the right person but in the wrong time, and you can very well destroy the relationship that was so treasured.

Levi saw examples of this everywhere - drunken soldiers slurring the admission of their love to their equally drunken comrades, heavily injured soldiers whispering the words of love on the verge of death, forever breaking the heart of the subject of their affections, angry and tired soldiers screaming out those dangerous three little words in the moments of frustration and resentment.

Love made people stupid, it made people reckless. It was dangerous and unwelcome in their line of work. He couldn't allow his heart to grow attached to someone else, couldn't let his eyes wander in the search of them during battles, couldn't let someone else's voice and laugh distract him from his duties.

Levi scoffed at the soldiers who waxed poetic about love, he rolled his eyes at the displays of affection, he pitied the fools who dedicated their hearts not to the indestructible idea of humanity and its future, but to a single, mortal person.

And then, out of nowhere, in the midst of battles, losses and rare moments of peace, he himself became that very same fool. During battles, his eyes searched for the shrieking idiot, his heartbeat slowing down only after he saw them alive and well. During late evenings and sleepless nights, he sat in the stuffy, dusty laboratory, listening to unending ramblings about titans, the outside world and the hopes of bright future.

He was more focused with them by his side. He slept better when they were curled up around him. Even his food was more delicious when they shared it with him, shamelessly stealing bits of his dinner.

It wasn't love, Levi had tried to assure himself. Love was dangerous and stupid, love was making people weak. But this— this bond, this comradery, this friendship, it wasn't making him weak. It was making him stronger, it was making him fight even harder, to ensure that this hell would end with both of them still alive. This bond, it was making him feel so... happy.

Love made people do stupid things when their other half was injured or in danger. But Levi's person, they were strong. Almost as skilled as was he, and twice as smart.

On the battlefield, they were quick and graceful, invisible, they did not make him worried. Whatever danger they were facing, they always managed to defeat it.

But then, then Kenny came back into his life and then they went after him straight into that fucking cave, and Levi's heart had stopped, it almost crushed when he heard their scream and saw them fall.

And blood, there was so much blood on their shirt, in front of his eyes. And that's when Levi realized - he became attached, he fell in love.

Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time

It was the first time he remembered these words in a very long time. He thought he would never need this advice. But that night, when they returned from that cave, when Levi stayed by their side, watching them hiss and wince as doctors bandaged their injured shoulder, he almost blurted it all out. Scared out of his mind, he wanted to grab their face and scream at them how he almost lost his shit during the fight, how even the thought of losing them was making him absolutely terrified. He wanted to press their forehead against his and whisper, so quietly than only two of them would hear, how much he loved them.

But they had a battle waiting for them first thing in the morning. Both of them were exhausted, both of them had too much on their minds. It wasn't the right time and it wasn’t the right place.

So he simply gripped their healthy hand and said, "You looked like a fucking amateur back there, four-eyes. Try to focus next time, alright?"

The answering laughter was quiet, but cheerful. It mended Levi's heart.

Then there was Shiganshina, and Levi's previous fears started to look like an overreaction. He thought he was afraid before, he thought he was close to losing them before, but last time, he could at least see them twitch and groan out in pain, he was somewhat comforted by the knowledge that there were people looking over them.

But now, now, there was no one. There was an explosion, a big, thundering explosion, and after it, there was nothing, nothing at all.

And Levi— Levi couldn't go there and check if someone was still alive. He couldn't even stop and make sense of what he was feeling. Everything was moving too quickly, and he could only follow that swift flow, trying his best not to get drown in it.

And, as he continued moving, never faltering, his eyes were wet - with sweat, with blood, with tears - Levi couldn't spare a second to wipe all of it. He could only continue marching forward.

Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time

It wasn't the right place, certainly not the right time, but his desperate, relieved "Hange!" could probably count as a confession. It certainly disclosed the feelings that otherwise he would never let out.

But the current kept moving forward, and both of them were struggling to keep their head afloat. There was no time for words of love, no time for being stupid and reckless.

After the utter disaster that was Shiganshina, they returned home, and the place was right, but the time wasn't, as both of them were still dealing with the losses they've endured. Dumping even more revelations onto them seemed unwise, cruel even, so Levi stayed silent, remained at their side, loyal and faithful.

When they finally arrived at the sea, it seemed like the place was right, and the time was right. And as Hange dragged him from one end of the beach to the other, shoving seashell after seashell into his face, Levi even prepared a romantic, touching speech, the kind of soft confession that his love deserved. Something along the lines, "you're more precious than the sea in front of me".

But that peaceful day was over before he could master the courage to let the truth out in the open.

And after that, after that, the time and the place were never quite right. He could not confess in the midst of thousands official meetings, strategy planning and war councils. He couldn't confess when they had to meet with the Marley volunteers, he couldn't confess when they went to explore Marley itself.

He couldn't confess before they went to retrieve Eren's stupid ass. Although, he wanted to, desperately so. But when he grabbed their shoulder before they boarded the airship, he could only tell them, "Don't die. I'd hate to be in charge of this circus."

He didn't know if his true meaning was clear enough, if his voice was tight enough to translate his curt words into their intended point.

Don't leave me alone. I don't know if I can do this without you.

It only went downhill from that. He had no time to speak with them after they came home, he had no time before he went to the forest with Zeke, the place and the time just weren't right.

When Zeke had escaped, when the explosion had almost killed him, Levi thought that he had lost his chance. He had hesitated for too long, and the moment was lost forever. But the explosion didn't kill him, Hange saved him.

And this time, the place was right, it was perfect, a quiet, dark forest where nothing and no one could get to them.

Maybe, the two of us just should live here together. Right, Levi?

He wanted to say yes, wanted to scream "let's leave this fucking hell behind and grow old together". He wanted bury his face in their neck and whisper "I love you, more than anything".

But he didn't.

The place was right, but the time wasn't.

The place, the time, they were never right.

After they got out of the forest, things were spending up and up, leaving Levi behind and unable to catch up. He was always at the back, watching but not doing anything, too weak to even talk. And they were at the front, leading everyone towards their noble goal.

As he watched them move forward, leaving him to fight the Yeagerists, discussing plans with their allies, as he watched them slip through his fingers like a morning fog, those words were at the tip of his tongue, ready to spill out.

But Hange never stopped, they had no time to hear him out.

And then, Hange finally stopped. Then they decided to become the one that was going to be left behind. And in the process, they left behind Levi.

He thought about it so much, for so long, he was carrying these feelings for almost a decade. But he never figured out just what words to use to explain the matters of his heart.

Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time

He was so focused on these words that he forgot about the most important thing. Confession had to be done right as well. But he had no time to ponder and search his mind for the fitting words. He had no time, Hange had no time, and in that last moment, when his heart was breaking and his mind kept chanting "please, don't leave me, not you, please, not you", the only thing he could get out was, "Dedicate your heart."

The confession was clumsy, too roundabout, but his feelings probably were clear enough. He hoped so, at least.

Before they went, before they left him alone, Levi wanted them to know, wanted them to remember just how loved they were.

As he sat in that plane, his mind going crazy with grief, he remembered the words spoken to him in the middle of the night, by a man who refused to feel the pain of loss, who shut himself away from affection and love.

Confessions are to be made in the right place, in the right time

Perhaps, Erwin was wrong in that regard, Levi realized. Perhaps, there was no such thing as right place and right time. There could only be right person.

And Levi had just lost his.

[yandere-sins]

i just binged-read all of your BNHA works and omg... 🥲 you don’t understand the rollercoaster of emotions i just went through! can i please request a story of Kirishima noticing that Bakugou has a crush on his darling. then when Kirishima confronts Bakugou about it, things get heated/physical? keep up the good work, i love your writings! 🥰💗

Thank you so much for reading through them, I am so glad you enjoyed them! :D And thanks for requesting ♥

»»———————— ♡ ————————««     

“I don’t fucking know either!”

Loud. Terribly loud were the two voices shouting at each other in your room, the little bit of safe haven you owned, entirely disrupted by the two men arguing. It was only made worse by the fact that they were arguing about you rather than anything else, their attention involuntarily always coming back to you after every sentence.

You had long ducked away, slipped into the area between the wall and your bed, the only place you had claimed as yours ever since you were forced to live here. It was barely spacious enough for you to breathe in, but it was too small to force you out of as well, which you always appreciated. On most days, Kirishima would treat you kindly and with a strange understanding despite the situation and relationship you two had.

But just as quickly did his mood change, his tendencies to demand more than you were willing to give being a constant point of stress between you two. Hiding yourself back here was the closest to some privacy you had, and now than ever, you just wanted to disappear from this pitiful existence. You didn’t even want to hear about what they were talking, let alone witness how the conversation would go.

“Fuck,” Bakugou groaned loudly, rubbing his hands over his face. “Of all the people...”

“Yes. Of all the people, it just had to be my partner you fell in love with,” Kirishima hissed back, equally angered. You couldn’t even pinpoint for how long the two had been discussing this topic, but it left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth, as it seemed. Sighing quietly as to not draw more attention to you, you buried your head in your knees.

For the longest time, you had believed those two were good people. Sure, Bakugou was a hot-headed bastard sometimes, but together with Kirishima, who shone with his kindness, you three always had a lot of fun. When Kiri confessed to you, you had been so happy! What you thought was love probably was more like a deep friendship, but you didn’t say ‘no’ and went out with him.

But then the craziness started. It was subtle at first, and you confided in Bakugou, who told you, you were just imagining things. No one seemed to notice how Kirishima started to polarize your time constantly, how, when he wanted cuddles, he simply pulled you into an embrace even if you didn’t want to. How every problem was solved with ‘Just don’t go there anymore, you can stay here! I’ll take care of everything!’

You very quickly found out you had been wrong both with him being a good person and you being in love with him. But then, of all people, he still allowed Bakugou to come over! Where he kept you locked in his apartment all day while he played hero outside, he still allowed your friend to visit whenever. Seeing that Bakugou was not going to help you, no matter how much you pleaded with him to save you, broke your heart. It completely shattered you.

Honestly, you wanted to believe that you three had been friends once, but whatever happened to make the two into what they were now, it scared you. It frightened you so much that you barely slept at night, rarely managed to eat more than two spoons of your food, and rendered you unable to focus on anything if not ensuring you were safe when things got too much to bear. And now, your body shaking more than ever, you had to witness how even Bakugou seemed to have changed sides, and that scared you even more.

You thought he was just loyal to his friend by refusing to help you, but by god, he was the same as that maniac Kirishima.

“Look, I didn’t choose that either! But you knew I liked them way before you confessed!”

At that, Kirishima only clicked his tongue, unable to say anything in return to counter this claim. So it was right, Bakugou had liked you all along. All these things about Kirishima’s and your love life must have been so painful for him to listen to in this case. However, right then, as you overheard their conversation unwillingly, you didn’t feel bad for him even a second.

“I wish it was anyone else, but it’s them!”

“Well, are you sure?” Kirishima grumbled, and you kind of understood Bakugou’s frustration as his friend didn’t seem to want to hear the truth. “Yes, I am damn sure!”

“If that’s the case...” Kirishima sighed before you heard steps drawing closer. “[Name]? Can you come out? You know it’s rude not to show your cute face to our guest.”

Even if he spoke his words in a sugary voice, nothing about Kirishima could calm you. Slowly looking up at him again, you saw him reach his hand out to you, knowing fully well that he couldn’t get you out of that gap even if he probably wanted. The mood in the room was tense and full of heated tempers. Their back and forth had only made everything more awkward and uncomfortable as it already was for you.

Inwardly, you wanted nothing more than to stay in your hideout, hoping it would all quickly pass, but crossing Bakugou’s gaze briefly, you saw his brows only furrow more, and you wagered if taking Kirishima’s offer was better as long as he still asked nicely before either of them would lose their patience with you, too.

Slipping out of the space without taking his help, it wasn’t long before Kirishima picked you up anyway. The man had as much understanding about boundaries as you had about what even was wrong with him. He sat you down in his lap on the couch, waving Bakugou over, who reluctantly took a seat on the furthest armrest from you.

“Tell him, [Name]. You love me, right? You want to be with me, right?”

Opening your mouth, you wanted to protest, but Bakugou stole the words from you before you could talk.

“Bullshit! They’ve always been complaining because you suck at being a boyfriend! They could do so much better and be with me, right [Name]? Tell that idiot!”

You felt like a dog, with both owners screaming at their furbaby to chose them and go to the one it likes more.

Their back-and-forth continued, Kirishima swearing his love to you up and down while Bakugou praised his abilities to be better in... every way. Kirishima liked to remind you how much ‘fun’ you two had together and how much he did and would do for you in the future. Bakugou liked to argue with his friend, using insults and belittling comments about his plans. Neither made a very good impression, and their voices rose to a volume again, making you wish you had earplugs to drown out at least a little bit of their shouting.

Instead, you lifted your hands to your ears, cupping them as to drown out the sounds, hoping it was over soon. Why couldn’t they both leave you alone? Why did you have to end up in this situation, not once, but twice? Why did the two best friends you had turned out to be this crazy? Crazy about you?

There still were so many questions to be answered, and you curled into yourself as you spiraled down into overthinking everything that happened. From regrets you had, to disbelieve you still harbored, to the despair you felt as you couldn’t pinpoint when this nightmare would end.

You were so inside your own head, you didn’t notice how their voices slowly calmed down, their hearts breaking as they saw you so overwhelmed by the situation. Kirishima and Bakugou exchanged a few glances, and even in Bakugou’s serious and furious expression, there were hints of worries to find that only his friends could discern.

“How about you move in with us... and maybe they can make a decision then. Not that I’d just give them to you, but I can’t watch them being sad about us fighting. You always meant a lot to us.”

Huffing, Bakugou turned his head away, hiding the flustered red spreading on his cheeks. “I won’t share with you, you Dumbass! They’re mine. They love me much more than you freak!”

“Doubt it,” Kirishima chuckled as he brought his hand to your head, brushing over it comfortingly. He had never been afraid to say his opinion openly, a trait you had always found remarkable and remarkable stupid at the same time. “Whatever,” Bakugou grunted, standing up before storming out of the door without another word of goodbye, Kirishima sighing before he pulled you close.

“I hope this makes you happy,” he mumbled, not even knowing you weren’t listening anymore. “I’d do anything if it makes you happy.”

By the evening, a new roommate was sharing the apartment with you and Kirishima. They didn’t talk, neither at dinner nor before or after that. You didn’t mind the silence, but you did mind having to hold one hand of each as they decided to watch a movie, ever so often squeezing to gain your attention and giving you grins when you looked at them. As if that equaled making a decision which you liked better, just because they had a few seconds of your attention.

But even worse were the changes. The first thing Bakugou did was move the bed. Your hideout was no longer as he decided you didn’t need it. And where you had struggled to keep Kiri from you, you now were too scared to shove away Bakugou. Perhaps, you really had it nice with Kirishima. You pondered about it all night as you were squeezed between them, their arguing going deep into the early hours before they fell asleep, snoring away into your ears.

Would it have been easier if you had just chosen one of them?

Or would it be fatal to ever choose between them?