#literally everything good about Rey came from the acting and not the writing

[thevoidremembers]

Looking back on it Finn really should have been the protagonist in the Star Wars sequel trilogy

[houpss]

SKZ have a crush on you

you can come up with the ending yourself...whether the reader will be with the member or not is up to you!

light angst, a little fluff, uncertain relationship

Bang Chan

oh...this man talks about his feelings openly and without fear.

He literally phrases: "I'll steal and fuck your girlfriend while you're not looking."

He has a huge amount of female and male attention, but...

But it doesn't work out that way with you...

You were out of his reach.

You were too beautiful, too sweet, too good...he wasn't like that.

Chris is the one who will call you his muse and write romantic songs for you, some of which have been published.

His love is manifested in acts of care, he is always there, he is more tactile with you than with others.

He will give you whatever you want, just ask.

Chan has 8 members so he is like a dad...he protects and cares for them

And he also wants to take care of you.

He wants to love you openly.

But you didn’t notice his feelings.

Although...you loved Chris. Literally loved to the moon and back.

For some reason, it seemed to you that Chris only saw you as a friend or family member, just like his Members.

Yeah...close friends....

He will say exactly the same phrase to you:

"You came..."–"You called"

It seems you are both fools.

Maybe he's too soft with you? Maybe he needs to leave?

He won't be able to give up on you.

I will kill myself, I will destroy my soul, but I will be with you.

But i'll wait for you

I love you to the moon and back

기다려 여기 me and max

서운해해도 don't be mad

너한텐 할 수 없는 game (Bloo-But i'll wait for you)

Lee Know

How could Minho let this happen?

Lee Minho was head over heels in love with you.

No one has seen his loving eyes, no one has ever felt his gentle touch.

How did he allow himself to fall in love with you?

This is a completely crazy idea, he didn’t love to love.

But you turn his world upside down, he is literally lost in you.

You clearly feel like Minho hates you.

Minho is like cold winter, he is like snowy weather, he looks like frosty weather.

And you were in summer, you're complete opposites.

But even after the coldest winter, love comes.

He calls you the most beautiful adjectives, it’s like he’s trying to silently scream about his feelings.

He speaks directly and harshly, he loves the truth straight forward.

"And you will be obsessed with me, I will be everywhere: I will be in your favorite songs, I will be between the lines of books, I will be in every passerby... I am your addiction"

Lee Minho couldn't fall in love, but he wanted to love.

All the pretty stars shine for you, my love

Am I the girl that you dream of? (Lana Del Rey–Pretty when you cry)

Seo Changbin

He loved and hated you at the same time.

Oh.. Seo Changbin can hate?

Yes, he did it with you. He loved you so much that he hated you for it.

You were everywhere, you were ingrained in his existence and mind.

He was very sweet and friendly and loved people.

It didn’t work out that way with you, it was as if he deliberately didn’t want to have much contact with you.

He loved you silently, probably without asking for anything in return.

Before he even notices, he begins to pay attention to you... be it small acts of attention or dialogues with you.

"You can take Changbin out of first love, but not first love out of Changbin."

Again, it was like you were different, you weren’t like anyone else. He noticed you immediately when he met you.

He seems upset that you will never be his.

Oh...the boy is gloomy. The boy looks like a thunderstorm.

Conquer your lonely heart, get used to the emptiness.

When you ran your fingers over your lips

I bought it from glossy magazines

Everything you asked for and even what you didn’t ask for

How can you be so terribly beautiful? (Rocky-WITCH)

Hwang Hyunjin

Oh yes, you and Hyunjin have been friends since childhood.

It even got to the point that you are idols in the same agency. No wonder Hyunjin adores you, he's obsessed.

Fans loved your interactions, they were sure there was something between you and Hyunjin.

Hyunjin wants to get into your soul, he wants to take your heart into his cold hands.

You were the forbidden fruit, and forbidden fruit is always sweet.

It’s as if you’re chasing him, you’re everywhere, he feels you everywhere.

But you're just his friend, his sweet best friend.

It was normal for you to peck Hyunjin on the lips, naturally in private or during greetings (while no one was looking). Hyunjin feels addicted.

You are worse than drugs, you cause an addictive effect. You are his absolute delight.

The boy will paint your portraits, he will exalt you like a goddess.

So why do you only see him as a friend?

Hwang Hyunjin doesn't deserve to be your friend, he wants to be your boyfriend.

The boy loves to hurt himself, he loves hardcore. He loves pain and whines a lot.

He just replaces you with pain, it helps.

Touch me, yeah

I want you to touch me there

Make me feel like I am breathing

Feel like I am human (The neighbourhood–A little death)

Han Jisung

You never paid attention to Jisung.

But Jisung was so loud and cheerful that he started to annoy you.

Jisung did this on purpose, he liked you.

The boy will notice you immediately, you immediately fell into his soul. So cold and inaccessible.

He wants to melt the ice on your heart, he wants to become your sun.

Every day he fell more in love with you, the cold intensifying his desire.

“Your love is addictive” – your words

He is very kind and cheerful with you, he is so easy to talk to.

He won't give up to get you. Even when you send him the rudest obscenities

I'm your boy.

He will sing to you, and you will ask him to shut up. You secretly love it, his voice is so beautiful.

But you should hate Han Jisung because it's the right thing to do.

You would get closer to him, but...

No.

"Is it fashionable to jerk off to him?"

"hit of the season"

Lee Felix

It was impossible not to fall in love with Felix.

everyone loves Felix!

And he loves you.

This sunny boy literally drowned in his love for you, it completely absorbed him and did not allow other feelings to pass through.

But you don't seem to notice him.

Felix dreamed about you, you are in his thoughts. The first thought in the morning, a relieving thought when he is busy and the last thought before going to bed.

He's trying to get as close to you as possible

He will become your best friend.

Felix is too good, he is an angel in a human body.

The world is not worthy of Felix, so why did he love you?

Every day, like a painful melody, this unrequited love sounded in his heart. He experienced all emotions - from boundless happiness to deep sadness - alone

He couldn't imagine life without you

If you leave, there will be no point in living.

He writes you poems, he gives you the most expensive gifts, he just wants you to love him. Love him at least a little.

Perhaps his efforts will remain irretrievably lost in time. But one thing is certain: he will continue to love you, deeply and truly, even if he never hears your answer.

Come on scratch my back

So as to reach the heart

Both you and I want this (ЩЕНКИ–dirt)

Kim Seungmin

It's like he's afraid to get close to you.

On the contrary, he moves away. Every day it gets stronger, he loves you so much and doesn’t want to see you so much.

Seungmin took this step not because of a lack of love; in fact, on the contrary, he was struck by this love.

In every breath you took, every word you said, he found the perfect embodiment of his dreams. You were his sun, his muse, his everything.

But he knew he couldn't be with you. He saw how disappointed you were in your past love, how your trust and heart were damaged. He couldn't afford to repeat the same mistake. He couldn't risk their relationship knowing that the end could only be pain and disappointment.

It hurts so much to give up on someone you love.

He deserved happiness, he deserved love, but he couldn't have it with you.

He didn't want to ruin your life or be the source of your pain.

He will go away and it will be easier for everyone.

He will disappear from your life as suddenly as he appeared.

He will never forget you, he will never stop loving you. But he knows that sometimes the best decision is to let go of the one you love. This is exactly what he did because to him, your happiness was much more important than his own.

He looks at the dawn and remembers you.

Your nose is covered in cocaine, you can barely stand

I am the secret that you cannot hide

I think about you too much (Pharaoh-unplugged 2)

Yang Jeongin

You are his first love.

He sees a future with you, he sees stars in you.

It was the first time he felt such strong feelings for someone.

Oh, he is just learning about love, but it can hurt or beat sometimes. Love can completely break the psyche.

But he doesn't care as long as you exist.

Jeongin will turn to the Hyuns for advice. how to get your attention and make you fall in love.

He will be so romantic...he will be so gentle with you.

He is afraid to do something wrong so as not to scare you away

He will be a gentleman and will wait for the moment until you fall in love, he will do everything for this!

He will wait for you all his life if necessary, but I am sure that you will fall in love faster.

“He replaced my home, love and friends. He is my everything.”

Jeongin is like warm weather, everyone is waiting for him and wants him.

Feeling so lonely, 'cause it's not enough

Missin' you only ever since we fell in love (Ciggarets after sex–Touch)

[stitchlingbelle]

Halo Post-mortem

So... what did I think?

Honestly, I really enjoyed it! I admit that I came in with super low expectations, due to the vaunted Video Game Adaptation Curse, but across the board, the show was way better than I anticipated. The acting was solid, the visuals had care and thought behind them, the effects were good, and the characters were generally engaging (and/or enraging, as it should be).

Obviously, being useless at video games and therefore having absolutely no prior knowledge of the universe meant that I got to skip all the issues with the story and lore and what they chose to change for this "Silver timeline", which made it easier to like. Which led me to a realization...

It dawned on me about halfway through that one of the things I was enjoying about the show was the fact that I had no idea what was going on. Looking around, I realized that it's been literal years since I watched a scifi show where I didn't know the answers. Star Wars? Rey and Din may not know what a Jedi is, but I do. Star Trek? Since DS9 and VOY ended, there have been FOUR shows and/or movie series about the earlier days, and THREE of them feature Kirk and Spock. I was gnawing my laptop in frustration at not knowing who these aliens are or what the artifacts do or what the heck the halo actually is and why we care (note: this is still unanswered) AND IT WAS GREAT. It's a thrill to be piecing things together alongside the characters once again.

And that brings me to the only real complaint I have about the series: the modern mini-season is really too short for these sorts of stories. Everything needed to be shoehorned into essentially 8 episodes (to set up for the finale in 9). None of the characters, plotlines, or the halo mystery itself get to breathe. It's very effectively written to do a great job with the time they have, but everything happens because it has to-- characters can't take time to investigate xyz or try solution abc because the showrunners don't have time to show you that they did. They can't build up emotion or stakes, so they rely on the most efficient writing they can-- which in turn means relying on known tropes and cues to move the action, and the audience, along to their scheduled plot points. And they can't allow you to overlook a clue or piece of worldbuilding, so they can't be subtle.

(This is where the Kwan plot suffers the most, I think-- teenagers are hard to write, going from 'beloved as Luke Skywalker' to 'derided as Wesley Crusher'. Kwan's writing gets the most clichéd treatment and it shows.)

For a show that's trying to tap into a legion of pre-existing fans, it's particularly sad. The selling point of the show is getting to spend a few more hours in the world you love, with characters you love, experiencing it all again, hopefully in a way that is fresh and exciting. For me, it was like getting a tour of a best friend's new place right before going out for the night-- there's so much to stop and appreciate, the couch looks cozy, I want to chat with their roommate and pet their cat, but we only have ten minutes or we'll be late.

And what roommates we have! I'm usually a very character-driven fan, and I really enjoyed a lot of these characters. Kai was hands-down my favorite, and I'm impressed that they made her so compelling to me with so little (comparative) screentime. Her expressive nature breaking out was wonderful to watch. (And nothing bad had better happen to her, ever.) (...Nothing else bad.) Miranda and Laera were standouts to me as well-- Miranda for her sense of ethics and duty, Laera for her independent viewpoint and mysterious vibes.

Makee was well-acted (and well-dressed, my cosplay brain whimpers) and I could listen to her read the phonebook, but characters like her are written into a corner by their very nature. She either has a Redemption Arc, or she doesn't. She either gets to grow and change or stays a villain. Neither option is interesting. It's possible they could still surprise me with her-- I hope they do-- but I doubt it.

Parangosky, Keyes, and Halsey were all fascinating to watch in action; again, very efficient writing to cram in so many competing priorities, authorities, and past alliances. It's also interesting to hear from y'all how much darker they made Halsey. It's clearly a deliberate choice to make her such a bad guy, and I wonder where they're going with it.

My weird niche favorite character... was Halsey's clone, the one who died to make Cortana. Her one conversation with Halsey stole my heart and plot bunnies are breeding in my brain like tribbles.

Cortana herself was fun-- I appreciated her humor and her evolution from oblivious, order-following Siri to full-fledged person with her own opinions and agency. It'll be interesting to watch how being merged with John affects her. (Is it possible to grow her a body of her own? I feel like she'd love one.)

As for the man of the hour, the Master Chief/ John? He grew on me eventually. I've heard that the helmet thing and the brevity of his speech were to make him easier for players to project on to in-game, but it made him a bit bland to me with the compressed writing-- he's A Stoic Hero Guy even after the pellet gets out, if only because he's not allowed a single scene that isn't plot-relevant. (No hair dye for him! He didn't even get to read Makee's book or something.) I think that's why his comeback about overcoming indoctrination-- "I did"-- struck me so hard. It's one of the few bits of his interior life we get. In a week he became a new person, and crucially, saw himself as someone who had done so. That told me more about who he is and what he wants than anything else we got to see. I'm excited to get to know him better as he gets to know himself better.

I'm excited to follow along with them all!

...for however long each of them has left. The future in that trailer did NOT look bright.

[sakumasmut]

alright i got a few things

1. i'm the same anon who sent the sub!kaoru and tatsumi + free use anzu rambles teehee

2. may i be 🌊 anon?

3. now that i am not in danger of forgetting to say those things, i can tell you that i came to talk about how literally every member of undead has a different flavor of breeding kink

koga's breeding kink is just obvious. even though he doesn't care to have kids, he's still a wolf, it comes with the territory. he'll definitely bend you over with a smirk and ask how many pups you want him to fuck into you. he likes giving it to you rough, and he's the most likely of these four to put you in a mating press. he might call you his little slut who's addicted to being bred, but he's honestly just as addicted to breeding you, and he won't stop until he physically can't keep going. one of his favorite parts is pulling out at the end and watching his cum leak from your hole. he thinks it's so hot, plus he feels proud knowing that he did this to you, and no one else can.

rei also likes mixing his vampire act in with his breeding kink, nibbling lightly (or not so lightly) on your neck as he fucks you. he's not really degrading by nature, though he can be if so desired. but unless you ask for something else, he'll praise you the whole time, showering you in affirmations and kisses. i saw your earlier post about rei breeding headcanons where you mentioned he would use a breeding bench, and i agree, although i think at some point in the session he would want to switch it up; he's a sucker for receiving physical affection too, and he wants to feel your hands and lips on him while he breeds you. he's the most likely to slip a plug into you afterwards, making sure none of his hard work goes to waste.

adonis doesn't even realize he has a breeding kink until he finds himself making a comment or two during sex about getting you pregnant. he takes the matter very seriously, though, and doesn't indulge it unless you're actively trying for a baby. the whole time, he's so tender and loving with you, refusing to manhandle or degrade you. he wants to make it a special moment, for you and for himself as well, so he takes a romantic approach. his favorite thing is body worship, and he loves touching the parts he's praising; brushing his fingers over your belly and murmuring about how he can't wait to watch it swell, or pressing a hand over your womb and promising to fill it with all his seed. he wants to do everything for you afterwards, absolute highest quality aftercare ever.

i would write for kaoru too but it's late and i'm eepy 🫠

(afab reader)

ooo welcome to the anon list! big fan of your earlier rambles

you’re absolutely right, I think only ado is serious about wanting kids, koga and rei care more for the filling up part. koga being a primal breeder comes with the brand like you said.

you didn’t talk about kaoru so allow me. like adonis, he also wants kids, but his breeding kink is visible even before you plan on having any. raw sex is common with kaoru, and if you don’t ask him to wear protection he wont. he’s a people pleaser, and wants to make you feel amazing the entire time, might get emotional too and babble on about how good you’d look with his kid and how happy he’d be to have a family with you. he’s less of a planner and more of an act on impulse guy, so you’d be more likely to get knocked up with kaoru out of wedlock compared to adonis

[patrickjonesblog]

Top Albums of 2023

Hey, how ya doing? I got sick the last week of 2023 when I intended to write this so here I am in 2024 looking back on some of my favorite long players last year.

I saw so many of my favorite acts in 2023, it was probably the best live music year ever. So much so I spent what felt like a whole morning creating a "reel" on "instagram". The fruits of which you can watch here.

Enough about live music though, this is about wonderful studio recordings, so here's what's made the long list and then we'll kick straight into the top 10 with accompanying videos.

16 - Romy - Mid Air

15- Jessie Ware - That! Feels! Good!

14- Gracie Abrams - Good Riddance

13 - Lana Del Rey - Did you know there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?

12 - Bombay Bicycle Club - My Big Day

11 - The Bug Club - Rare Birds: Hour of Song

10 - Young Fathers - Heavy Heavy

If you haven't seen Young Fathers Glastonbury set in 2023, I recommend you do so after you've read this blog. Gutted they cancelled their brooklyn show, but I hope to catch it this year.

9 - Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want to Turn Into You

Caroline Polacheck is the closest we've got to Kate Bush in 2023, the detail she puts into her visuals and the choreography of her performances, its high art. The track below isn't on the album, but it was the moment I realized her brilliance.

8 - Gorillaz - Cracker Island

This felt like an under the radar release from Gorillaz, at least here in the states. It's the first time Albarn has worked with Greg Kurstin (Adele, Mccartney, Kendrick) and you can hear his influence as it's a bit more poppy than previous releases.

7 - Jeff Rosenstock - Hellmode

If you've read any of my blogs over the past decade you will have seen a lot of appearances from US Punk / Ska legend Jeff. The reason being; he doesn't make bad records.

6 - Sleaford Mods - UK Grim

How do you follow 2021's career highlight Spare Ribs? With more of the same, that's how. 12 albums in to their career now and they're still gathering pace. Blistering, acerbic, hilarious as ever.

5 - The Hives - The Death of Randy Fitzsimmons

The first new music from The Hives in 11 years and they return with a literal bang. This album is as good as anything they came out with when they first charmed their way onto the scene in the early 2000's. The bellies may be podgier, Pelle's kicks aren't as high, but the riffs are as spritely as ever. Still one of the greatest live bands around.

4 - Blur - Ballad of Darren

I always get a bit anxious about a new blur album, they don't have to release new music, they have a back catalog that guarantees them legend status already. Releasing new music risks tainting that legacy so far into their career. I needn't worry, Ballad of Darren is a beautiful record with a legitimate brand new stadium filling anthem to add to their repertoire.

3 - Olivia Rodrigo - GUTS

Bit of a surprise this one, maybe more for me than you dear reader. I didn't get the fuss of the first album (still don't) it sounded like any one of a million young pop darlings. But GUTS is different, it's eclectic, it's beautifully written, it tears at your heart, it raises your fists, it makes you dance. It has everything really. She's the real deal. It's objectively not made for a 42 year old man, but great music is great music and I bloody love this.

2 - Jenny Lewis - Joy'All

It was a tough call between this and Olivia, but i've given it to Jenny for the 20+ years experience she has on the young upstart. Jenny Lewis is maturing into a fine groove, she's replaced Ryan Adams as a much more palletable country-folk spot in my heart. Her songwriting continues to get better with age.

1 - The National - First Two Pages of Frankenstein | Laugh Track

Stadium filling, Taylor Swift collaborating, David Letterman approved super band The National. It's a wild trajectory my favorite band has taken over the last few years. No longer critically acclaimed everyones favorite unheard of band, they're rightly at the upper table of indie-rock and its fully deserved. Not satisfied with releasing one beautiful record this year they follow it up soon after with the surprise Laugh Track an equally brilliant album in its own right. Most bands would kill to have one record this good in their whole career, its frankly not fair they can do two this good in a year. A joint number one for me as I can't separate them.

There you have it, 2023 all wrapped up, full of BIG acts with a smattering of newbies thrown in for good measure and probably the most female representation I've had in an end of year list.

You can hear these and LOADS more in my 2023 playlist.

And if you like any of this and trust my judgement follow my 2024 playlist which I curate throughout the year adding newly released tracks.

Aaaaaand away...

[aotopmha]

So, I saw Evangelion 3.0+1.0.

(Spoilers ahead.)

I think it's my favourite Evangelion thing now solely because it cut off all of the obstructive elements and finally, FINALLY got a philosophical backbone that's not just a generic sentiment of "go outside" or "human connection is awesome".

You will never be able to love yourself if you never see anything worth loving in yourself.

This is why I think the original series is broken to me, fascinating as a piece of art for sure (which is why I've seen it several times), but emotionally distant. It was never going to have a solid conclusion because it didn't understand the very first thing about learning to love yourself.

The story was stuck in a cursed cycle induced by the lack of a strong philosophy in its writing, stuck by not actually letting the characters grow by increasingly weaker plot contrivances and I really don't think that was a deliberate writing choice to make a point.

The original series understands how people feel when they are depressed and the difficulties of connecting with people, but not how to get out of it, so it just tacked on Shinji's realisation at the end of the final episode without any of the logic behind why he came to the realisation and End of Evangelion only doubled down.

I think 3.0+1.0 basically understands pretty much *everything*.

For someone to overcome depression they need people to give them time to breathe.

They need time to breathe and someone who validates their feelings, so they could come to their own realisation about who they are and what they want and why.

Yelling at Shinji to get in the robot is the worst thing to do for him.

This movie isn't good because everyone basically got either a happy or heroic ending, it's good because it not only understood how depressed people feel, but also how they can move forward (and, for children, do all of that coming of age stuff like taking responsibility).

It understands that children shouldn't bear responsibility like adults.

It understands that you need to accept your weakness to move forward from your emotional struggles.

As said, validation and acknowledgement is what leads the way forward to confidence and action.

And this was always almost there with Eva, the series almost got it, but then about 2/3rds into the original series, the characters just started to speak like robots and the lore babble took over and when it did get back to talking about feelings, it always did it with this unnecessarily bloated prose that you had to decipher, along with being insecure about what it wanted to say.

This movie had clear, concise prose, had just enough show and just enough tell and it knew what it wanted to say from the beginning to the end.

I think the only part I didn't like is the Mari thing at the end.

I get the point: you actually might end up with the most unexpected person in your life.

One of the best lines in the movie is by Asuka: Shinji doesn't need a girlfriend. He needs a mother.

It's such an amazing line to me because it encapsulates and addresses all of the criticism I find to be emotionally blind/emotionally unintelligent that is levied at Evangelion.

Getting laid doesn't fix depression. Emotional support and digesting your feelings does.

So the ending with Shinji and who he ends up with is actually pretty irrelevant.

But it's still a bit too tacked on for my taste.

But again, the movie at least gets everything that's important and I'd argue executes those bits as good as it possibly can.

I think I was crying the entire first act of the movie because it was so empathic to Shinji's fuckups and suffering and everyone else as *characters*.

And it's that patience and kindness displayed by his friend Toji that paid off.

I think this is the first time I also actually liked Rei because the focus was on her as a character, not a thematic mouthpiece and I like that quite a few minutes were actually spent exploring Gendo.

This finally connected with me as someone who has gone through depression and I'm glad about that.

I can finally say Evangelion connected with me and made me actually feel things and pretty strong things.

And among many things, it followed through with the Freudian elements, too.

Shinji erased the Evas from existence, leaving the mother's womb. Which Freud essentially viewed as growing up.

I'm not a huge fan of the CG, but I think it's a fascinating decision to only use it in action scenes because one of the movie's points is that this kind of psychological stuff is not something that can be solved with violence – using violence will only get innocent people mixed up in it and cause hurt and destruction. So violence is depicted with something artificial, CG and everything to do with people is 2D animation (at the very least that's the principle everything felt to be operating under; some scenes with people might've been CG, but there seemed to be an aesthetic distinction at least, one being "surface level, physical" stuff and the other "the heart" of the matter).

But I am a huge fan of the direction as I've always been with Eva.

I love Anno's ability to depict the grand and of course, I love the viceral aspect of the gore in this series as I think that kind of stuff gives it a kind of specific, earthy humanity, highlighting the fleshy, dirty elements within humanity, something the series is literally about (and why I think I like these series combining viceral violence with strong empathy, I find the ugly and dirty parts of humanity and living beings in general fascinating).

Not as much bloated and stilted prose as End of Eva and the original ending of the series, but not as simple as 2.0. A really good blend instead.

I find it to be a incredibly emotionally intelligent and mature movie.

And in terms of overall quality, a pretty great movie to me on this first viewing.

[ukaiknowsbest]

breaking down Ace of Diamond - the "Hero's Journey."

Using the model/guide presented by Overly Sarcastic Productions in their youtube video Trope Talk: The Hero's Journey, I will attempt to discuss how Sawamura Eijun's story in DnA is his Hero's Journey to becoming an ace pitcher in the Japanese HIgh School Baseball environment.

Blue from OSP put forward the 12 basic parts of the Hero's Journey Cycle. The illustration below will be our reference. I simplified a graph made by Signy Wilson in order to match OSP's less rigid guide.

disclaimer: I am by no means any kind of expert. I was just fascinated when I learned about the Hero's Journey as a general trope/framework when it came to writing stories. I want to apply what I learned by breaking down the story created by Terajima Yuuji in Ace of Diamond.

A. ORDINARY WORLD

STAGE 1. THE HERO IN HIS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT

Hero: Sawamura Eijun. Captain and Ace Pitcher of middle school baseball team. He has no formal training in baseball whatsoever but was the one who gathered and convinced his friends to start a baseball club. He's the best player in their small team. Good at sports but bad at academics .

He is generally a baseball idiot and quite a naive/simple guy with a strong heart. He does not have any idea what competitive and pro baseball looks like because not only does he not have experience but also he does not watch the broadcasts on tv/radio at all.

Ordinary World of the Hero: rural town in Nagano Prefecture, where Sawamura formed a small baseball team with his childhood friends. Acording to him, as long as they all stay together they can always play baseball anywhere.

STAGE 2. THE CALL TO ADVENTURE

2.1 Problem/why hero's ordinary world is going to crumble: - He lessened his chances of being scouted/accepted in a good baseball school after he btchslapped an entire opponent team and the umpires in their first and only match as middle school team in Saitama Stadium.

He also has low chance of being accepted into the high school in their area (where his friends are all going to) because he struggles with his academics a lot.

Unless he does something he won't be able to be together with his friends and/or play baseball at all.

2.2 Caller of the adventure - Takashima Rei pursues Sawamura into Nagano Prefecture in order to scout him as a sports scholar for Seido High School, a baseball powerhouse school located in the West Division of Tokyo Prefecture.

2.3 medicine/ solution to hero's crumbling world: being a sports scholar for Seido. This would solve almost all of Sawamura's highschool enrollment problem and also give him the chance to play as much baseball as he wants.

STAGE 3. REFUSAL TO THE CALL

3.1 reluctance to go: Sawamura refuses to leave Nagano despite Rei's "sales pitch" to him and his family. He doesn't want to leave his friends just to play baseball in a stronger school far away because he had promised his friends that they would always stick together.

3.2 hero punished for this - his grandpa literally smacks/slaps him in being stupid and doubting his friends.!!! / technically circumstances are already punishing him for being a hotblooded baseball idiot in the first place.

3.3 do you think you have a choice - this is probably the only chance he'll get to play baseball with all his strength AND finish highschool.

B. EXTRAORDINARY / UNKNOWN WORLD

Venturing out into more competitive/pro baseball is a world beyond him. It's scary and unknown and he'd rather defeat bigger teams than leave his friends.

STAGE 4. CROSSING THE THRESHOLD

4.1 crossing physical threshold - Rei persuades him to at least check the school out with his own eyes. They leave Tokyo together for one visit.

4.2. crossing a metaphorical threshold - in that visit, sawamura, picks a fight with a senior who's bound for baseball drafts, works together with a nationally acclaimed catcher in defeating the senior player, thus changing his worldview because he had so much fun.

4.2. conscious and irreversible decision - Because of the experience he goes home conflicted. His family encourages him in their own way to follow his guts and heart and go to Tokyo.

STAGE 5. REALM OF ADVENTURE

5.1 hero learns to navigate the unknown world - Sawamura learns the harsh realities of being in a baseball school once he actually starts to live there. Our boy also gets educated in Baseball and Pitching 101. He also finds out the true personality of the catcher he played with before.

5.2 meeting allies/rivals/mentors - he learns about the team better when he meets a whole bunch of people: batchmates, coaches and senpais. He builds interesting dynamics with all of them.

5.3 trials and initial failures - Sawamura undergoes difficult initial training and is barely allowed to play in matches.

5.4 meeting enemies - Sawamura being allowed to play as relief pitcher in the games and face talented pitchers and scary batters mostly in tense situations.

5.5 growth, new skills - Sawamura grows with each match, thus bolstering his confidence. Sometimes he falters but he learns from his mistakes.

5.6 first major success - striking out scary batters with each new thing he learns.

5.7 major challenge that leads to downfall - seido vs inashiro finals match where he goes in full of confidence and courage but then he and his team gets defeated in a devastating way.

STAGE 6. BELLY OF THE WHALE

6.1 lowest point of hero where hero physically or metaphorically goes down - one month after their major defeat, a lot of intense practice matches and change in team dynamics, the team find out that Sawamura has the YIPS. This condition took away Sawamura's ability to pitch in his trademark style/ the only thing he was good at.

6.2 hero's darkest hour - without the ability to pitch, Sawamura questions his reality and why he is still on the team.

6.3 Face and overcome inner demons - with a lot of help from allies and mentors, Sawamura finds a way to bring back a bit of his ability.

STAGE 7. ROAD OF TRIALS

7.1 Discarding old self - In the duration of his downfall and eventual healing, Sawamura turns to books, meditation and becomes even more careful in maintaining his form and body.

7.2 Accepting the new role - instead of fixating on the ace position like before, Sawamura is just glad that he is still allowed to pitch as relief.

7.3 Finding path out of the belly of the whale/The road back - After figuring out a solution to fix his pitching, he focuses on it and regains some of his ability. Sawamura is then allowed to play in matches. Just like before, he improves little by little as he recovers from each failure. He gains fresher mindset and new weapons, thus becoming an even stronger pitcher than he ever was before.

7.4 more trials - they face new opponent schools and old but improved opponents which test the best of Sawamura and the team's ability

STAGE 8. PRE SHOWDOWN BREATHER

every major match in ace of diamond has this part of the story but usually the most critical breather episode is the one before the final match.

8.1 show humanity of other characters - Somethng bad happens to the other mc without Sawamura knowing. This could absolutely wreck their chances of winning the final match. This shows that the other guys are not 100% invincible after all.

8.2 last chance to relax. - calm before the storm. It is also the time where they finalize sawamura's weapons.

8.3 quiet moment to reminisce - usually happens before each match. However the night before the finals was the major one because their old senpais went to visit their practice and encourage them.

STAGE 9. CLIMAX / STEPPING UP TO THE CHALLENGE

9.1 Final Showdown - Sawamura helps in the team defense with the best of his ability and weapons and he succeeds. Their team eventually wins Fall Tournament even with a few setbacks.

9.2 Apotheosis - Sawamura's worldview changed once he realises that even with his improvement and skill, his goal of being the ace is still out of reach for him.

9.3 Ultimate Boon - Sawamura gets to be a pivotal member of their baseball team and can play baseball as much as he wants with his team.

STAGE 7. ROAD OF TRIALS start again after the Fall Tournament Act 1 because Sawamura faces new challenges in Ace of Diamond Act 2.

Meiji Jingu Tournament - Play in matches without Miyuki

WInter camp and break - Intense Physical Training and development and improvement of his weapons which he will use and improve on throughout the rest of Act 2.

Spring Koshien where he realises that he has to do more in order to surpass the current ace which was Furuya.

Start of New Term/ Practice Matches - Sawamura and co. meets their new kouhai and team dynamics shift once again.

Spring Tournament / Summer Tournament - Sawamura meets old foes and new enemies. He also becomes the Ace Pitcher of the team, which adds more pressure on his part.

ACT 2 STAGE 8. PRE SHOWDOWN BREATHER

This is the big and long one before Summer Tournament Finals match where injuries and problems were discussed and feelings were explored.

ACT 2 STAGE 9. CLIMAX

Final (Or most hyped and awaited rematch) Seido vs Inashiro in order to qualify for Summer Koshien Nationals.

**everything after this point will be prediction and just my opinion

STAGES 7-9 start again

Koshien Nationals Arc.

STAGE 10. CROSSING THE RETURN THRESHOLD

Miyuki/3rd years retirement/graduation. Sawamura and his batch will have to lead the team.

STAGE 11. THE REWARD

Sawamura gets to play with his team as ace pitcher.

STAGE 12 / STAGE 1. THE HERO IN HIS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT

Sawamura may become both ace and captain, same as his role back in his middle school team, albeit in a stronger school. Even if he won't be the next captain, as ace he will still be in a strong leadership position.

CONCLUSION

That's how Ace of Diamond is written in the style of A HERO'S JOURNEY.

Act 1 writing especially followed the trope quite rigidly.

Notes:

I still don't want Sawamura to be the next captain. I hope that does not happen. However if it does, it means the story will have gone back full circle. That would be quite poetic ngl.

Gotta applaud Terajima's pacing. Can you believe that the story only reached its lowest and most pivotal point at around episode 70 of the anime???? thank godt that after ep 63 I read spoilers about yips arc in tv tropes or else i would have dropped the series completely.

I had difficulty in classifying the events after the climax stage into hero's journey stages because technically sawamura has not gone "home" yet. Moreover the challenges and trials just kept on piling up after Fall Tournament.

In this whole story, Sawamura has experienced only one true "Belly of the Whale stage" during his YIPS arc. I don't think he really came to a low point in Act 2 other than his first official match as Ace Pitcher. I treated that in the same vein as the effects of Raichi's first homerun off Sawamura back in Act 1.

I realized that having stages 7-9 recur starting from Meiji Jingu to the current summer tournament is what made reading Act 2 quite frustrating for me. That's at least 5-6 arcs of endless roller coaster ride loops.

I consider Miyuki's departure to be the "CROSSING THE RETURN THRESHOLD" moment because playing with him was the major reason for Sawamura's decision to study and play in Tokyo. Something will change Sawamura when this eventually happens.

As Blue from OSP said, the Hero's Journey is just a general guide/framework to writing stories. It is flexible, writers don't even have to use it or all of its parts to make a good story. Terajima just seemed to have adopted A LOT of the hero's journey trope in his baseball series.

I wanted to add more pictures tbh but tumblr is a killjoy :(

This was a fun thought exercise. There were probably even some parts which I have used the tropes wrongly. Please feel free to dispute me.

I talked about Sawamura's mentors here (x).

[morethanonepage]

what would you say are the dynamics and themes that interest you most? Also frankly I'm surprised you read any star wars fic still, I agree on just wanting to read some good finnpoe but that has gotten increasingly futile.

i mean the thing i potentially like so much about finnpoe is that they BOTH have very specific, in some ways very different traumas (finn being a child soldier and growing up in such a highly regulated way where he had basically no bodily autonomy VS poe being mind-raped AND seeing his inability to stop it as having betrayed his own people AND seeing so many of his friends & comrades die in quick succession AND still recovering from the loss of his mother as a child and Muran when he was commanding Rapier Squadron) but they both have a tendency to compartmentalize that and continue to function on their own while being loyal (Finn’s devotion to Rey, which gets a lot of flack in fandom but like -- that’s one of the first people he’s been able to form a connection with!! AND I think he lowkey feels that it’s his fault Rey got dragged into -- everything, so he feels a great deal of responsibility for protecting her) and passionate about a cause (Poe basically killing himself to keep the Ideals Of The Republic Alive, be it through trying to hunt down the FO before he’s even part of the Resistance, to doing everything he can to keep the Resistance afloat once he is). 

like they have those similarities -- a real sense of duty and responsibility toward their friends and those they’re fighting with -- but they have fundamental differences in approach that the movies did a shitty job of extrapolating on when it could’ve been such an interesting conflict: Poe is the idealist and thinks of duty to a higher ideal first and foremost (like Leia and his mother, tbh) whereas Finn is more of a pessimist and a cynic and believes protecting your friends and loved ones from the substantial evil is hard enough without setting up to FIGHT ALL OF THE BAD IN THE UNIVERSE like Poe wants/believes he has to do. and both of these things are based so much on their upbringings! Poe grew up with those ideals and freedoms and parents who fought, successfully, to protect them, and believes he owes it to them to live up to their example and protect them as well; Finn has SEEN the evil of the FO firsthand and seen everyone around him subsumed by it, believes it to be omnipotent bc for him and his squad mates it literally was. escaping all of that was an act of powerful resistance on its own!

idk i just think a lot of the fandom’s take on this is, if you focus on finn ~running away~ in canon or not wanting to join up with the Resistance just ‘cause it’s ~the right thing to do~ you’re feeding into this idea of black men being cowards and/or selfish when it’s like no! that’s the consequence of his trauma: he’s running away from an abuser who controlled every aspect of his life, who’s set up to hunt him down and destroy planets and take over the universe in a way that’ll mean he’s NEVER safe, and he knows every single person he grew up with and had some affection for are a part of it too, which on the one hand he might be reluctant to fight them, but on the other they 100% won’t be reluctant to fight him AND they know him well enough to know his weaknesses. 

all of this is A LOT and it’s heavy and dark stuff, which i GET can be hard to work into like, light fluffy fic about finn finally being happy or learning what sex is or w/e, and not everything about fanfic has to be a ~deep exploration~ of character’s inner turmoil but like -- idk. there’s ways of dealing with these elements of finn’s backstory without making the whole thing drudging tragedy porn (which is ANOTHER fanfic trend i can’t stand -- neither Finn nor Poe are characters entirely without hope and fics that treat either of their tragedies [lbr it’s mostly poe’s that get dealt with] as the focus or main characteristic of either also bum me out) and I just really wish fandom had more interest in it. 

Another factor that KILLS ME is how Poe has (justifiably) developed OBVIOUS distrust for the force and force users, and would have such a fundamentally hard time dealing with the fact that Finn is one. Canon didn’t even let Finn be explicitly force sensitive, and fandom is like YAY FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE, NOW HE CAN USE THE FORCE TO BONE (POE), and any fic that does touch on it makes Poe out to be ~unreasonable for not trusting Finn, or having his distrust be a consequence of his PTSD alone, and a sign he has to deal with his shit VS a very real issue that Poe might genuinely not be able to get over: the force CAN be creepy and is too easy to abuse, and a lot of what Poe’s seen it used for WAS bad. 

the other dimension of all this is, accidentally or not, these dynamics take on all sorts of real-world implications given both actor’s identities -- the explicit parallels between Finn’s upbringing and chattel slavery (taken from his family at an early age, losing all connection with his birthplace and culture, seen as useful but dispensable by an oppressive, mostly-white empire)  & its legacy for Black Americans (that lack of connection with a historical homeland and the loss of a cultural connection that came from it) VS the first generation latinx immigrant narrative that Poe and his family embody (the sacrifice for and long separation from a child in the service of giving them a better life, the burden that child takes upon themselves to make that sacrifice worth it by excelling in certain spheres, the drive to be the VERY BEST representative of their new culture, the embrace of that culture’s ideals bc they don’t want to think their parents sacrificed everything for a lie [with the creeping knowledge and experience to know many of those ideals are flawed and not always lived up to]). 

and the canon ignores that bc addressing it would require world building that couldn’t center/come back to the Skywalkers in some way (and the only family dynamics it’s interested in is DADDY ISSUES, fucking Free Fall), and fandom doesn’t care about it bc it’s mostly white girls who, AT BEST, decide to focus on the potential ~sexuality conflicts (coming out, family rejection, etc) when writing real world AUS, without dealing with the intersectionality of a black and a brown man, their respective cultural context, and the resultant conflicts those would create beyond, idk, “POCs are always homophobic so finn and/or poe’s parents kicked them out or w/e”.  and like I really don’t WANT these people trying to grapple with the complexity of a queer, interracial relationship where neither participant is white (i’ve seen enough just watching them grapple with either character’s sexuality tbh). 

but idk, that’s what’s interesting to me: finn and poe’s backgrounds and how those set up fundamental conflict points for both of them, both in canon (Poe’s devotion to the cause of liberty and democracy for the whole galaxy VS Finn’s duty to the people he loves over anything else) and in a real world au (Black people have a fundamentally different relationship to the American Ideal than Latinx immigrants do, for very good reasons). And I want those things to be significant elements of the characterization for both, but not the ONLY elements of characterization for both: stories should, in even some small way, be about what characters WANT (even if it is just “to fuck,” as it often is when I write [ok it’s usually “to love but be able to show it without saying it, hence the fucking”]) and so few fics, these days, give me any sense of what finn and poe want besides, vaguely “each other” (”because the author feels like they have to write them bc the actors are hot/for woke points”) and that is just -- boring to me. 

also god i would just love to read some dialogue that isn’t just twitter/tumblr memes and/or mcu level mean quips. like, just in general. 

[izukubuns]

hi!! is it alright if i can req for a scenario where shouto slowly realizes he has feelings for his childhood friend?? everyone would know that the two are pining for each other but shouto is just a lil oblivious to his feelings and his friends ;v; i hope this was specific enough!! sorry if its a bit vague;;

.:it was always you:.

warnings: shouto being oblivious, light angst

word count: 2.8k

a/n: LMAO IM SOOOOOOO SORRY THIS SPIRALED. no but truly i got emotional, so sorry if it isn’t what you wanted. im definitely willing to write another, fluffier version of this prompt in the future, though. thank you for requesting <3

“kou?”

“s-shou..”

“huh? i can’t hear you.”

your tiny hands rested on your hips as you tilted your head in confusion. you were at the grocery store, your mother was talking to a friend. this friend of hers had a child as well, and your mother had insisted that you make a friend. fine, no problem. little ol you loved making friends. todoroki, however-

“shouto!” he yelled. you were currently in todoroki’s face, your nose just a couple inches from his. he wasn’t sure why you were so close, your eyes locked on his. you blinked, then finally smiled. “oh, well why didn’t you say it before! i’m (y/n)!” you were missing a front tooth. todoroki couldn’t help but notice, and it made him laugh a little.

“ma says you’re the same age as me. that means we should be friends, right?” you said, looking at your mother, then back at the boy in front of you. “i wanna play with you, shou!”

playdates became frequent. whenever the two women would meet, they’d bring you and todoroki along with them. more often than not, your playdates were at the park. you were more rowdy than your candy cane haired friend, almost always scraping your knees for the sake of “adventure”. you had even fallen out of a tree once, resulting in plenty of scrapes and bruises.

“(y/n)! are you okay?! m-mom!” todoroki would panic, calling out for help. you’d just smile at him, always getting up and brushing it off like it was nothing. “it’s okay, shou! i’m strong! it doesn’t hurt!” there were tiny tears in your eyes, but todoroki ignored them. if you said you were strong, then he believed you.

“we’re both gonna be awesome heroes, remember? that means you’re strong, too, shou.” you’d always call him strong, pick him back up when he needed it. when really, you had always been the stronger of the two. while all might was his idol, he swore to himself that he’d become as strong as you, too.

todoroki wanted to follow you everywhere.

until eventually, the todorokis stopped showing up.

you’d always ask, “ma, how come i don’t get to see shou anymore?” “is that auntie rei on the phone? can i talk to her and shou?”

“rei and shouto are busy with their family. we’ll get to see them soon,” your mom would say, smiling and holding your hand. her smile never reached her eyes. “i miss shouto, ma. isn’t auntie rei your friend? don’t you miss her too?”

she inhaled sharply, looking anywhere but at you. “of course, baby. i miss her so much. but we’ll get to see them. another time.”

however, your mother knew that there was a large possibility that you wouldn’t see rei or shouto for a long time.

*:..｡∞♡∞｡..:*

the next time you saw todoroki, he almost didn’t recognize you. if he was being honest, he barely remembered you. after all those years that his father had put him through, he’d blocked out many things from his past.

when he first saw you again, it was the first day of class. you were talking to some classmates, your back turned to him. unconsciously, he stared at your figure, trying to figure out why you seemed so familiar. he didn’t snap out of it until he saw mina pointing at him and smiling, drawing the attention of the others. it seemed like an eternity before you finally turned around. but when you did, oh when you did.

he felt like he’d gotten the wind knocked out of him. his memories came rushing back to him as if he was on the brink of death, watching his life flash before his eyes. you grew up... quite nicely. and you were powerful, he observed.

todoroki watched as your eyebrows furrowed and your mouth fell slightly open. you moved to come closer, but then aizawa entered, ordering everyone to sit down. you sat behind midoriya, so your seat wasn’t too far from his, which resulted in him staring at the back of your head. about a week into the new school year, you finally confronted him at lunch, confirming both his and your suspicions.

“todoroki, huh? never knew you were the son of such a big shot,” you said. todoroki’s usual blank expression twisted into a frown. “whatever. it’s not a big deal.”

you flinched at the harsh dismissal of your statement, but quickly gathered yourself. “it’s funny to see you after such a long time. you really disappeared on me. my mom missed you, too,” you admitted, hoping to shift the mood. however this only upset him further, much to your confusion. he snorted, keeping his head down towards his food.

as the days went on, you prodded, trying to get him to open up, only for him to reject, or simply ignore you. this wasn’t the shouto you knew all those years ago. shouto was never this abrasive. while you two acted as normal classmates, your attempts to get him to open up were futile. though a while later, you’d soon discover the reason for his actions.

he’d admitted his past to you after the sports festival. ever since his confrontation with midoriya, he felt bad for the way he treated you. none of this was your fault, he thought. you had made him happy at one point, so why was he trying to pretend like you were a nuisance? just looking at you had frustrated him.

though, looking at you didn’t actually make him mad, it made him sad. his father had taken him away from you so soon, too soon. he wasn’t allowed to see his first and only friend. he couldn’t help but let his negative emotions take over after seeing you all these years later.

after battling with his inner self, todoroki finally resolved to apologize to you.

“my past doesn’t matter. my actions… were uncalled for. you don’t have to forgive me. i was–“

“todoroki, it’s okay. thank you for telling me. i’m glad, actually. i was worried about you. though, i would like it if we could be friends again,” you smiled that ridiculously gentle smile, making his heartbeat speed up. why was he nervous? you didn’t make him nervous.

in fact, you had always made him feel strong. safe. he used to feel like he could do anything when you two were together.

not nervous.

the two of you started growing close again soon after. while you were good friends with midoriya, iida, and uraraka as well, they noticed that you and todoroki were different.

they noticed how he’d keep his eyes on you, no matter who was talking. todoroki didn’t stare longingly at them like that. whenever you needed something like a pencil or an eraser, todoroki had already slid one onto your desk before you could even turn around. todoroki didn’t care for them like that.

they noticed how frantic he was when he couldn’t find you during the training camp incident. how he only calmed when they found you, when you assured him that you would be alright.

but most importantly, todoroki smiled at you. he couldn’t help himself. he didn’t realized how much he missed your presence. now, you were even better than before. you weren’t just brave, you stayed true to your word and became strong. he learned this all too quickly when you promptly caught him off guard and kicked his ass during training. he wasnt just impressed, he was proud of you. not only that, but you were kind. you stayed as warm as you were back then, especially towards todoroki himself. not that he’d notice.

not when he was busy smiling like an idiot.

midoriya, ever observant, was positive that todoroki didn’t realize he was doing it. he’d stop smiling as soon as his attention was off of you. sure, he smiled every once in a blue moon, but never directly at someone. especially not like that.

ya know, the longing stare, the soft smile that was reserved for you and you only. yeah, his friends knew he was in deep. when they’d confronted him about it, he was just confused.

“i’m not sure i understand. i behave that way with the rest of you, don’t i?” he inquired. uraraka sighed. “no, todoroki, you don’t. you don’t get all goo goo eyed for the rest of us.”

“goo goo eyed? what does that even mean?”

“it’s when you get all ‘uwahh’ for someone when you see them! it’s like–“

“uraraka, let me try to explain!” midoriya interrupted, worried that she’d confused him even more. he sighed before he began. “todoroki, what do you think of (y/n)?” he said slowly.

“i think they’re nice. they’re skillful in battle, and their grades are good, as well. they’d make a great hero. they’re always thinking of others, and putting someone else first. though, i wish they’d take care of themselves as well. it’s easy to tell when they’re not feeling well, but they wont admit it. th–“

“okay, stop,” midoriya interrupted, unable to bear his friends lovesickness. “now what do you think of iida?” “iida’s a reliable comrade. you are as well.” the group waited for him to go on, but that was it. midoriya almost facepalmed while iida sighed. todoroki just outed himself and still didn’t realize?

he frowned at his friends’ reactions. “did i say something wrong?” todoroki asked. uraraka smiled at him. “no, you actually said everything right.” this only confused the boy further. iida cleared his throat, looking todoroki in the eye. “todoroki, you’ve known (y/n) for a long time, right?”

“you could say that, yes.” “have you ever thought about... kissing them?” todoroki literally choked on air. kissing? you? no, he hadn’t, not even when you were kids. just like now, you two were thinking about becoming heroes back then. now that you two were even closer to accomplishing your dreams, that was the furthest thing from his mind. well, until now.

“what about hugging them?” iida pressed further. now that he was being questioned directly, todoroki finally thought about it. thought about you smiling at him, wrapping your arms around him. he thought about your laughter being reserved for him only. he thought about how your hands would fit in his.

todoroki thought about everything.

he found himself smiling, cheeks hot. but... he wasn’t using his quirk? this was quite the odd feeling to him, but the warm thoughts of you weren’t unwelcome. he bit his lip to keep the smile from growing even wider.  “todoroki?” uraraka said, bringing his attention back to his friends. he cleared his throat and looked away, embarrassed. he felt… exposed. they were all smiling at him, like they knew something he didn’t. it was midoriya that spoke the words that todoroki was absolutely not ready to hear.

“todoroki, you like them. as more than a friend. and we think you should give it a shot when you’re ready.”

*:..｡∞♡∞｡..:*

he definitely wasn’t able to sleep that night. actually, for a few nights. at first it was due to his constant thoughts of you, but then his sleep schedule started to worsen because of school, stress, the usual. it was particularly bad one night, so he decided to wander in his room. later, todoroki found himself walking into the kitchen, only to find you.

of course it was you.

you didn’t notice him at first, with how quiet he was. you were still in your bed clothes, getting a glass of water. when you finished you finally turned to see him, eyes widening in surprise. “sho– todoroki?”

“oh… hello.”

“as quiet as ever, huh?” you leaned against the counter to sip your water. “couldn’t sleep?”

todoroki nodded wordlessly. moving to stand beside you, both of you staring ahead at nothing in particular. he was a bit uneasy after what his friends had made him realize. he’d thought of a million different scenarios since then. “you know, i’ve missed you,” you started. he jerked his head up to look at you, quicker than he’d intended.

you smiled, closing your eyes to think for a bit. “i was really sad for a long time when you and auntie rei stopped coming to see us. my mom and i, that is.” todoroki kept his eyes on you, taking in your profile as you spoke.

“i never forgot what we said, though. that we were gonna be strong and become heroes? i’m glad. i never would’ve seen you again if i had given up,” you said with a smile.

“i know we’re gonna be busy and everything as pro heroes. helping people, ya know? of course you do. i just… don’t want you to disappear again. i really wish i could’ve been there with you. i hate the thought of you suffering alone. being alone. at least, when we’re older, call every now and then, okay?”

todorokis chest started to ache. you’d told him that you were glad to see him again before. but saying you missed him? did you have any idea how much weight that held over his heart?

“i know we were just kids, but you were always important to me. i...” you trailed off. finally, you looked up at him with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “i kinda had a crush on you back then. funny, right?”

no. not funny. not at all. “i thought that maybe we could get married and be a perfect duo. both of us the number one heroes,” you said with a laugh, putting your cup down. todoroki still had his eyes on you, not believing his ears. his face was growing hotter. and hotter.

“i was even going to propose–“

his left side burst into flames.

you jumped backed, arms held in front of you, “todoroki?!” was he upset by what you said? did you set him off by talking about his childhood again?

once he realized what was happening the flames were immediately gone. todoroki looked at your protective stance, guilt punching him in the stomach. now, of all times? he could have hurt you. he never would’ve forgiven himself.

“(y/n), i’m so sorry, i do–“ he was breathing fast, too fast. “todoroki, slow down. dont apologize. im the one who should be apologizing. it was something i said, right?” you asked, cautiously coming closer. todoroki looked into your eyes. he searched for any sign of fear, disgust, but god damn it, it wasn’t there. only genuine concern they were still the kind eyes you always had. why, why were you so damn nice?

“it is what you said. what if…” his mouth was moving faster than his mind.

“you had a crush on me back then, but… what…” he looked at his feet, searching for the words, before looking back at you. you came even closer, looking at him. you silently asked him to continue. “what if i... have a crush on you now?”

your eyes grew wide, but you stayed silent. todoroki didn’t know what to do but spew more of his jumbled thoughts.

“hugging you... k-kissing you?” he hated how weak he sounded, repeating his friend’s words from before. “i want to. i want to do it, but...” slowly you reached up to stroke his hair, pushing it away from his eyes. you remembered how he liked the touch. you waited for him to tell you to stop or flinch away, but all he did was grab your arms and hold them gently. he brought them down, still holding them, as if you’d disappear if he let go. his grip shifted to your hands, as did his gaze.

“im so... damaged. i dont wanna force you to deal with me. the way i am... i don’t think i’m good enough for you. you’ve always been amazing. you’re so perfect. but i want to do these things with you. i want to be as close to you as possible, i just don’t know how, i–”

“hey, shou.”

he paused. shou. that’s right, you hadn’t called him that in years. yet, he felt his body relax and his nerves dissipate. “it’s okay. you were hurt. you’re still hurting. if i didn’t want anything to do with you, i wouldn’t be here, now would i?” you said quietly, trying your best to calm him. he shut his eyes, relaxing into your touch. his shaky breathing slowed.

“im far from perfect, ya know. i’m the one not sure if i’ll be good enough for you. but if you’ll have me, i’d be glad.”

you? not good enough for him? never. never in a million years. he couldn’t believe it took him so long to realize that he’d been craving you. he’d tried so hard to be content by himself. then, midoriya came along with the rest of his friends, picking him up bit by bit. yet, he was still missing something. you, you were his final piece.

yeah.

it was always you.

[officialsimppage]

-Achievements-

Hey guys! This is just a little idea I came up with that I think you all might like. So basically Harry, Harrison, and Tom have a little argument over who is more talented. You being an actress, model, singer/songwriter, musician, and choreographer, it would be obvious. (also I hope you guys are liking the fact I’m writing for tom now to <3 :(   )

Warnings: sad tommy, arguing, swearing.

The day was nice. Especially for when theres a fucking plague going on and your stuck in London with you’re amazing boyfriend that you love. I was sitting in Tom and I’s bed, in his hoodie, his sweatpants hanging low on my hips, scrolling through instagram, eating cheez its. It was nice and cozy.

 I then decide I need some water to go with these cheez its and I walk downstairs into the kitchen. I then heard some chattering. 

“Dude, your girlfriend is way more talented than you.” Harry says while cooking dinner. 

“But like I am too! I am Spiderman ya know.” I hear Tom say, trying to defend himself.

“What’s going on here?” I ask laughing a bit after hearing a little of the conversation. 

“Tommy boy here thinks he's more talented than you.” Harrison says while stirring vegetables in the pan. 

“No I don’t! I just think that we are both equally talented.” He says shrugging. He then mutters “C’mere baby,” to me, making grabby hands at me. I then laugh at his cuteness and come over and sit on his lap. 

“Dude no you are not!” Harry says throwing a vegetable at him. 

“Hey that wasn't nice.” I say pointing to Harry. Then kissing Tom on the cheek where it hit him. 

“Are you saying I’m not talented?” Tom says, throwing a hand on his chest acting like he's super offended. 

“No, I’m just saying that Y/N is more talented than you.” Harry says again. I begin to giggle a little at the bickering that is going on. 

“Yeah Y/N what was your most recent project?” Harrison asks me with his hand on his hip, the other holding a spatula. 

“Um, I'm writing a single right now for my music. And I’m choreographing dances for students to do at home. Ya know, give them something to do since they can’t go to a studio.” I say with a little shrug. Brushing it off as if it was nothing. When it means everything to me. But I can’t show that to Tom in the state he is in. 

“Great, that’s awesome. Now Tom, what are you doing?” Harrison asks, batting his eyelashes. 

“Waiting for my new movie to come out. The Devil All the Time.” He says looking down, saddened. 

“And that's awesome! I’m so proud of you baby!” I say, peppering kisses all over his face. Trying to cheer him up. 

“No it’s not your doing helpful things right now and I’m not.” He says, still in a sad tone. 

“So get over it Tom, she is more talented.” Harry says, joining the conversation again. 

“But I’m spiderman,” He mutters in a mocking tone. 

“Oh my god Tom! Y/N literally is in 4 more movies than you, has done more photoshoots than you, she can sing like a goddess, write music like a genius, and play music like a genius. She literally wrote music and helpd play for a hit TV show!” Harrison says. 

“What was it again Y/N?” Harry asks. 

“Um The Clone Wars returning season. Season 7.” I say quietly, feeling bad for Tom, not wanting to make myself all that. 

“Yeah! She wrote and made music for Star Wars Tom! STAR WARS! Not to mention, SHE'S IN STAR WARS! Literally plays Rey!” He yells pounding on the table. 

“Boys! Get over it! Tom has his own special talents too. Uh I can’t do a backflip but guess who can? Tom. Uh can I work out with Jake Gyllenhaal? Probably not. Uh also Tom can sing, pretty fucking well I might add aswell. Can I do a fucking good American accent? Well that doesn’t work now that I realize it since I’m from America,” I then realize I’m falling off topic and then I shake my head and get back to the point.

“Point is, Tom has his own amazing talents too. Like another example, can I play golf? Hell to the no. Can Tom? Yes, and he looks sexy as hell while doing it too.” I say poking at his biceps and abs. 

“Thanks baby.” He says nuzzling his head into my shoulder.

“Now stop talking about me being more talented. Just let it go and finish dinner.” I say giving Tom a kiss on the head. 

“But,” Harry starts. 

“No buts!” I yell “God you guys are so immature.” I say squeezing Tom closer to me. Giving him more kisses on his head.

“Uh excuse me?” Tuwaine says coming down to see what’s going on. 

“Not you,” I say pointing to him. “But them!” I say pointing to Harry and Haz. 

“Ah,” Tuwaine says, walking over to sit on a barstool next to us. Paying attention to his phone again. 

“I love you Tommy you know that right?” I ask him, lifting his head out of my shoulder. 

“Yeah, yeah I know. I love you too.” he mumbles. I then lean in and give him a soft kiss on the lips. 

“You think I’m talented right?” He asks, looking up at me with sad puppy eyes. 

“Of course. More than anyone in this room. Including me.” I say sincerely. He then whispers, 

“God I love you,” pressing a hot, lustful kiss on my lips. We then hear Haz say, 

“Ew get a room!” And I respond to it by still kissing Tom, but I take my hand off of his chest and flip him off.

[urlocalfrogmammy]

hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have, but i have it—ronald speirs

inspired by

(and my 12-1am contemplation)

@yeahcurrahee : Hey! I was wondering if you could do a Ronald Speirs imagine with the prompt “you can’t keep avoiding your problems!” “i avoid you well enough!”? Thank you!

when your feeling utterly lost, speirs shows you a side you're not used to seeing.

literally started writing this as sOON as i got the request because i was listening to the song and i was like 👀. not re-read it, not cut it down. my pure, unfiltered 12am thoughts. word count 2k because i don't know where to stop at this time. i hope u enjoy it <3 thank u for the request

there was a soft breeze that blew the sheer curtains. the doors to the balcony had been left open the night before, you couldn't be bothered closing them before slipping into your silk sheets. now, the rays of sunshine cast a heavenly glow on the marble floor of your room, and believing in a god no longer felt foolish to you. you, however, were not exactly feeling like you belonged in the paradise of that austrian hotel room. you'd spent your night tossing and turning, stripping layers of clothes off in cold sweats between nightmares. you now lay wearily in your bed, wondering why you couldn't sleep as well as everyone else. you were a lieutenant, for christ's sake. you were supposed to be training the men to go to war once again. but you were haunted by the images of the war. you'd seen almost all your friends injured or dead. chuck grant with his head shot, bill and joe with their legs missing, gordon paralysed, hoobler bleeding out, jackson in that dingy basement, skip and penkala being blown up—

breathe, you told yourself.

now you could barely look your men in the face without feeling guilty for sending them off to the hell you'd experienced. you had the points. you could go home. but you knew in your heart you'd forever feel ashamed if you left now. your head, being wiser, knew that you'd forever feel guilty for leading these men back into combat, after they'd earned long and happy lives.

instead of worrying about your inner conflict, you lay and stared up at the lighting fixture. there were three lightbulbs, surrounded by tulip-shaped lampshades. they were edged with gold, and they reflected in the light. you stared and stared, until your eyes began to drop. a bang on your door startled you, and you called: "i'm naked!"

ron speirs came barging into the room. "lieutenant what the hell are you playing at?"

see, the awkward thing was that you really were naked. you grasped the sheets to pull over your bare chest and a small squeak cane out of your throat. "i told you i was naked sir!" speirs awkwardly stood in your room like he was lost in the middle of a jungle and had stumbled into a foreign camp. he slowly prowled towards the dresser, lifting up a jewel encrusted brush you'd snagged and holding it up to the light. the reflection was cast on the wall opposite, leaving a glowing pattern on the cream walls. you sat up onto your elbow and stared at your captain. you weren't blind, you knew he was handsome in a sort of rugged way, but the delicate light from those french doors radiated a celestial glow onto him, making his appear angelic. you watched as speirs fumbled with the silver box of pins, trying to figure out how to open it. a soft click confirmed he'd succeeded and he peered inside, unimpressed at the contents of the box.

you wanted to scream. you wanted to tell the man to get out your room. but instead, you just observed him as a glint from your bedside table caught his eye. slowly approaching both you and the bedside table, he lifted up the best thing you'd snagged. a diamond necklace, four diamonds thick, with tendrils of diamonds hanging down from it. you knew it was worth a small fortune, because it was one of the most luxurious pieces of jewellery you'd ever seen. looking down on you, ron leaned down and held it up to your bare neck. "it's pretty."

"thank you." your voice was breathless, ron had taken that away. standing back up and letting the necklace clatter on the glass tabletop, ron's demeanour returned to normal. "are you going to get dressed?" you simply pointed to behind the door.

ron's footfalls were the only thing heard in the room as he grabbed the silk robe from the back of the door and chucked it at you. you caught it with one hand, and ron turned around to give you some privacy. he heard you place yourself back on the bed before telling him you were decent. as he turned back around to look at you, he swore he'd never seen anyone as ethereal as you in that moment. your hair was down, something he had never seen before, and it caught the light. your eyes gleamed as the looked at him, sparkling with something he couldn't recognise. your cheeks were flushed and your lips looked soft. “you’re not sleeping.”

“of cour—”

“you’ve got dark circles.”

he watched as you scoffed, walking over to the dressing table mirror and peering into it. “maybe i’d get less stressed if i was tested less.”

picking up the hairbrush, you slowly began to pull it through your hair. ron watched your reflection in the mirror. “why are you here, captain speirs?”

“why aren’t you with your men?” you paused, hissing as you got to a knot in your hair you couldn’t untangle, right at the back of your head. ron felt an insatiable urge, and indulged himself in it. taking the brush from your hands, your hair was like silk in between his fingers. he dragged the hairbrush through your hair slowly, and your head tilted back towards the movement of the brush.

“you never answered my question, lieutenant.” you hummed in content at the soothing feeling of having your hair brushed, and looked up at him in the mirror. “just let me enjoy this. this is the best things that’s happened to me since nixon brought me that bacon sandwich.” ron chuckled at the statement, and continued to brush your hair with a softness you hadn’t expected from him. the gesture was very out of character, but you accepted it with open arms. maybe you just didn’t know your captain as well as you thought you did. there was a clank as ron set the brush back down and you turned on your stool to look at him. he looked down on you with a look you couldn’t decipher, so you stood and padded over to the bed again.

"the men need someone else." ron stared at you from across the room. arms crossed. "i can't do it."

"why?"

"because..." you couldn't articulate what you were feeling. "i... i can't watch another boy die. screaming for the medic, or their mother, with blood coming out of their mouth and—" you cut yourself off abruptly in order to stop yourself from crying in front of the captain. he approached you, crouching down until he was at your eye level. "aren't you just happy that the war's over in europe?"

you scoffed again. "don't ask if i'm happy."

"why?"

"you know that i'm not." your traced your fingers along the silk of the creamy sheets, stained with your sweat and a reminder of all the images you'd had in your dreams. "at best i can say i'm not sad." you glanced fleetingly at him, with a half smile on your face. you wondered how your captain would ever understand how you were feeling. ronald was ruthless, to the point. he acted as every solider should, no second thoughts, no remorse.you wondered if he ever understand the guilt that hung heavy on your conscience, like a plaque that read i've murdered more people than i can count.

ron sat on the bed next to you. "you're a good leader, y/n."

"yeah?" you tucked your hair behind your ear.

“yeah.” he smiled, something you hadn’t seen properly before. ron had always been stern faced or shouting, but it was worth it for the smile. his eyes crinkled, twinkling like the constellations in the sky. you looked away from him and shrugged. “i don’t know. maybe.” you stood back up, collecting your clothes off the floor, and dumping them on the bed. “y/n.” you ignored him, picking up your army pants and folding them leg to leg. “y/n, you can’t keep avoiding your problems.”

“really? because i avoid you well enough.” a neatly folded shirt now joined the pants. speirs walked behind you, and you could feel the warmth he radiated on your back. his hands captured your wrists. “stop.” you turned your head to look at him, and his lips met yours.

at first you froze, and then you jumped back. ron felt a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach. had he read the signs wrong? “y/n, i’m sorry i—”

“no. i’m sorry. i panicked, i...” you turned around properly, “spilling my guts with... drunkards who don’t care about me... is the only love i’ve ever known.” he felt a pang if guilt, that someone as beautiful as you had never experienced what love really was. he looked down on you and murmured: “let me look after you.” you wrapped your arms around his neck. ron’s hands found your waist, and he pulled you back in for another kiss. this time, it was reciprocated. softly, gently, and with feeling. lifting you up and sitting on the bed with you in his lap, the kiss continued with more compassion and care. you pulled away.

"wow." your laugh was breathy and shaking. ron just grinned, hair ruffled and chest heaving under you. easing yourself off him, you could feel your legs trembling. "i should... probably get ready." a sudden wave of guilt slammed into you. you were enjoying yourself, and you should have been out there training your men. the men you were responsible for. your chin wobbled and you turned away from your captain, unable to stop the tears welling in your eyes. "hey, y/n look at me." ron lifted you chin up to look at him. "everything is fine. you have done your very best. just..." his voice softened, "hope for the best." you sniffled, and he told you he'd leave you to get dressed. as he was about to open the door, when you answered him. "hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have," you said softly. he turned to look at you, "but i have it."

he left you alone to your thoughts as you got dressed. your ike jacket was a little loose, you didn't have the broad figure expected, and your hair could barely stay in its pins, but you looked a lot better than you had done for a while. your face wore a smile. going down the luxurious stairs of cream marble to meet the other officers, you were greeted by a slightly drunken lewis nixon at the bottom of them. "captain nixon."

"lieutenant y/n. nice lie in?"

"shut up." you shoved him with an elbow and he just giggled that dumb giggle. he held his hands up in mock surrender, "i'm serious, y/n. you're looking a lot better than when we got here." wrapping an arm around your shoulder, nix guided you into the glass room with the huge wooden table and sat you down on it. ron was stood at one corner, drinking coffee and consulting his map. you smiled shyly at you, and he smirked back. lewis seemed to pick this up, and he handed you a teacup and saucer and winked at you. you couldn't help but smile at the gesture, shaking your head and glaring. you sipped your tea and almost gagged on it. “christ nixon! stop drowning everything in alcohol!”

“sorry! thought it would be a good pick me up!” you stood up, leaving the teacup where it sat.

“i’m going sorting third platoon.”

“alright kid. have fun.”

speirs smiled and nodded as you lit up a cigarette. you felt pride swelling up in your chest. he was proud of you. and you were proud of you too.

[oldadastra]

Letter to Lucasfilm

So, I’ve written a letter to Lucasfilm. It could be better, but this is what came out this afternoon. I hope others who are writing will share what they are putting into the mail. I was trying to be concise, but it still ran to several pages. Find it in its entirety below the cut:

***

Lucasfilm, Ltd. Attn: Fan Mail PO Box 29901 San Francisco, CA 94129-0901

December 30, 2019

Lucasfilm/Disney:

I am writing to express my anger, shock, disappointment and deep sadness with the final installment of the Star Wars saga, Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker.

I was ten in 1977 when the original film was released and have loved Star Wars ever since. I was thrilled by the reopening of the saga in The Force Awakens, and delighted by the excellent script, rich visual storytelling, nuanced character development, and thematic direction of Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi.

Disney took on a sacred trust when it acquired Lucasfilm. Star Wars is deeply important to many people, and if you couldn’t do justice to the characters and themes of the saga, I’d argue that you had no business being involved in these stories. There is so much Disney/Lucasfilm got wrong in Rise of Skywalker, I’m struggling to gather my thoughts or express them coherently, but here goes:

Ben Solo. You created the most compelling character in the new trilogy by destroying the happy ending of the original trilogy. I was willing to go along on the ride Abrams and Kasdan began in The Force Awakens, because the fate of Ben Solo felt like it mattered. The questions raised in the new films: the nature of good and evil, the degree to which one’s family legacy defines a person, whether a one can atone for past sins; all of it felt alive and urgent in the person of Ben, a character I loved like one of my own children from the moment we so traumatically met him in The Force Awakens. His story was the beating heart of the new trilogy. His story is the one that mattered. His life was the one to be saved.

Ben solo was never an exposition device, cool villain, or disposable baddie to me. He was Han and Leia’s only child; loved, targeted, broken, lost.

The Rise of Skywalker redeems Ben Solo in the final act of the film, only to destroy him. Was it always your plan to kill the last Skywalker in the final installment of this story, to render the overarching message of all nine films as tragedy? If so, I wish I’d known this was your intent; I would never have engaged with these stories and made an emotional investment in them. If tragedy was your goal, that was certainly your choice to make, but I’d argue that you owed it to the audience and the cast to do a better job of it.

For example: You give us evidence that Han and Leia’s child was targeted by evil old men from before his birth. It’s a disturbingly explicit allegory of grooming and child abuse.

You give Ben Solo a backstory which implies he is guilty of vile, Anakin-style crimes against other young people, coding him as a school shooter, and then chose to exonerate him of this crime in a comic book, where the general audience will never know he was innocent. It’s a form of character assassination.

You consigned Ben Solo to the darkness for almost the entirety of three films, then denied him his voice in the final acts of his own story. “Ow?” The only words the redeemed Ben Solo will ever speak. Apalling.

You brought back Palpatine for this film (arguably rendering the message of the first six films meaningless), identified the Emperor as Ben’s tormentor all along, then denied Ben the opportunity to fight his enemy in the final act of the film.  Rise of Skywalker literally throws Ben Solo into a pit, and forces him to climb out alone and unaided while Rey is whispered to by “all the jedi,” offering her words of encouragement. It’s grotesque.

I’m getting lost in rage and sadness again here, so let me just say that even if you inexplicably didn’t care about the last Skywalker in the Skywalker saga, you have done a grave disservice to Adam Driver in your treatment of his character in this these films.  Perhaps you’ve heard of Driver’s non-profit organization, Arts in the Armed Forces? He’s deeply committed to the importance of stories as a way to make meaning out of the inexpressible. Did he really sign on to this project thinking that the final message of his character would be to say that even if you are able to come back from the darkness, your final act must be to die? That imperfect children don’t deserve compassion, forgiveness, life? You owe Mr. Driver an apology, but you can never really atone for what you’ve done to him.  

You ended a nine-film, forty-two year saga with all the Skywalkers dead, and a Palpatine the last one standing. You spent three films tormenting Han and Leia’s child, only to kill him in the final act.  What you did to Ben Solo (and frankly to us, who loved him) feels more like a horror story than anything else. In my dreams, I walk right into your offices and flip over tables.

There’s a lot more I could accuse Rise of Skywalker of bungling, but I assume you are hearing this feedback from others besides me, so I will summarize:

Rey Palpatine. Was is all about the midiclorians after all? By making her Palpatine’s granddaughter, you deny Rey everything that made her special; you deny her agency, and you negate the beautiful message I thought you were trying to communicate in the first two films with Rey Nobody: that the force belongs to us all, and that anyone can be a hero

The erasure of Rose Tico. It’s difficult to interpret this as anything but a capitulation to a loud, racist, and misogynist element of the fandom. It’s a very bad look, Disney. Please pay attention to the message you are sending.

Character development in general and a truly horrible ending: Rey goes back into her child-like costume, Ben Solo spent much of the film forced back into his stupid mask. Ben disappears at the end with no one to mourn him. Rey ends the film alone in a desert wasteland.

Rise of Skywalker is the most bleak, hopeless, and depressing Star Wars film ever made. As days go by, it’s becoming clear that it was also poorly written and edited. These stories matter to us, and we pay close attention to them. Disrespect us at your peril.

I don’t expect anyone will ever read this missive, or care at all about what an old shepherd on a mountainside thought about the execution of your multi-billion dollar movies. This is a personal exercise in catharsis as much as anything.

But here are a few notes in a language you might understand. I made some quick calculations about how much money I’ve spent on Star Wars over the past four years, and I’m sharing that with you now.

Movie tickets:  I’m one of those people who sees movies I love more than once (I saw Empire Strikes Back eighty-one times in the theater!). I saw The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi at least ten times each. I’m not counting the cost of tickets for my extended family, whom I brought along to a number of screenings, or tickets for birthday party guests we treated to these movies. My teenaged daughter came along for all the screenings I am including, so I calculate I spent about $360 on tickets. We also bought tickets to Rogue One and Solo, so it was actually more, but you get the idea.

Books, tie-ins, DVDs, merchandise: I invested in The Art of the Force Awakens and The Art of the Last Jedi books, as well as at least one SW Visual Dictionary. I bought DVDs of the films of course, and CDs of John Williams’ beautiful scores. I bought and read a number of books; Boodline and the Leia novel, The Force Awakens novelization and Junior novelization, Aftermath, and a couple others whose titles escape me. At least seven action figures. Toy light sabers for me and my daughter. Posters. T Shirts. I know I’m not remembering everything, but it adds up to an expenditure of at least $347 in books and other Star Wars merchandise.

Star Wars Celebration: I splurged on passes for my daughter and I to attend Star Wars Celebration in Chicago this past spring. It cost me about $400, and a last-minute family emergency meant we were unable to attend, but the tickets were non-refundable, so it was money I spent on Star Wars nonetheless.

Total: $1,107

A laughably small amount to you guys, I’m sure. Perhaps a contrast is useful:

Total amount I have spent (tickets for my daughter and I on opening night) on Rise of Skywalker: $22.

Total amount I plan to spend on Disney Lucasfilm merchandise in the future: $0

I invested quite a lot of my time in Star Wars over the past four years. I’ve written thousands of words in essays, appreciations and analyses (mostly on Tumblr), where I amassed a modest following of just over a thousand people. I’m sure I occasionally bored my friends and family by going on and on about Star Wars. This kind of ‘work’ has no dollar value of course. I will say that it was great fun while it lasted, though I feel foolish in retrospect, remembering all the times I came to your defense, arguing that the saga was in good hands, that you had a plan; that you were going to tell a good story.

Sadly, I don’t think you can fix the damage you’ve done to the Galaxy Far Far Away with The Rise of Skywalker. You made this film, made your choices, and put it out into the world. I have no control over where you go from here, but as a person who has loved Star Wars since I was a child, I beg you to take some time to reflect before making another Star Wars film.

You’ve broken so many hearts. Mine was one.

Andrea ____

...my full name and address, blah blah, I live in Vermont

[userdokja]

Not from around here | Kylo Ren x Reader. || Eight.

Summary: Reader is from earth, living a normal boring life. What happens if one day she randomly teleports and ends up in space, with people who had laser swords and troops who can’t shoot in the right direction? And then meets a very handsome man?

Warnings: Curse words, My Writing and Grammar. 

Prologue || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six ||Seven

Masterlist

----

You woke up in the middle of the night because the girl decided to show up again. You tried to pretend that you were still asleep even if you knew that she knows you're very much awake.

"Look," she started. "I don't need you to answer back, just listen to my intentions, please. I can feel the light strong in you, and I don't want Kylo to take that away like Snoke did with him... I tried to take Ben back, at first I thought I could but there's always something keeping everyone from doing so."

She paused for a moment, thinking of the next words she's about to say. "I don't want to give up on him, and I figured that If I can help you then maybe we can help him together, bring him back to the light."

"How long did you try?" You asked her, she kept her mouth shut. "Not long? I guess you shut him out completely after that too?"

You sat up to look at her, "Rey, I know you have good intentions but you can't change a person so easily, in fact people don't really change at all, people loose their way all the time and so easily, but guiding them back will always take time."

"Then what do you want me to do? Wait until he destroys the rest of what's left in the resistance and wait for him to realize what he's done and come back?!" She raised her voice, her eyebrows were curled together and she grew more irritated.

"What you said just made me realize that you want to save the resistance, not Ben Solo." You said, her eyes widened and her lips parted but nothing came out, realization hit her but the everything was cut off before she could even explain.

You lied down on your bed again and tugged the blanked to cover your shoulders, you closed your eyes but your sleepiness was long gone. You groaned in annoyance and decided to get out of your room.

----

You put together random snacks for yourself, and scrolled through your phone for something to watch it took you a while to find something but you ended up with 'The Good Place.' anyways, you were halfway through the first episode when someone spoke behind you.

"Why are you still up?" The drink in your hand splashed everywhere when you flinched, you turned around and saw Kylo behind you.

"I just woke up and then realized I was hungry, so..." You lied, "Why are you awake?"

"Uh.. same thing?" He scrunched up his nose and walked closer to sit beside you on the floor.

"Well, I'm glad I'm not alone." You smirked at him, "here, have some."

You handed him the tray of snacks, he studied the whole thing before finally picking up a chip. "What're you watching?"

"A new show, wanna watch with me?" He nodded, you rewind the whole thing from the start. Since you have watched most of it you spent the whole time stealing glances at him as he remained focused on your phone.

"Is there something on my face? Why are you staring at me?" He turned his head to look at you with furrowed eyebrows, your cheeks heated up when you realized that your small glances turned into a full on creepy stare.

"N-no, you're perfect- I mean there's nothing on your face don't worry." You gave him a nervous smile before turning your head away from him in embarrassment, you didn't know what was happening to you but it definitely felt like a high school crush.

You went back on watching the show hoping that Kylo had forgotten the fact that you literally called him 'perfect.' even you cringed at yourself by just thinking of it.

"You're the Chidi I'm the Eleanor." He mumbled as you finished the fifth episode, you laughed at his comment.

"What? I don't remember teaching you ethics and all that kind of stuff." You joked, he gave you a small smile back.

"But you're making me... Better." Your face softened when he said that, your remember what Rey said about helping each other bring him back. "You're looking at me weird again."

"I'm sorry it's just you're-"

"It's fine." He cut you off, "What I meant by better was that I've never felt comfortable with anyone before until you suddenly appeared out of nowhere."

"Is that a compliment? Are you turning soft on me? What happened to 'The force is strong with you, we'll rule the whole galaxy! mwahahaha!'". You mimicked his deep voice when you quoted him.

"Do you like me like that?"

"I like you for you."

----

You both ended up falling asleep, but it wasn't the normal head on each other's shoulders like one of those rom-coms, Kylo's face was resting on the pillow he was hugging and your head was on the sofa, you were both still sitting on the floor but you were too tired to be uncomfortable.

When morning came, Kylo woke up first, he was about to wake you but your mother stopped him.

"Don't wake her this early, she'll yell at you and be in a bad mood all day." She warned him, Kylo just nodded and stood up from the floor taking the empty tray with him when he walked to the kitchen.

"Is she going to be alright on the floor?" He asked your mother.

"Probably not." Kylo sighed and lifted you up to place you on the couch, creating a barrier with the pillow so you won't fall off. "I'm glad you're here to help me take care of her, you don't know how stubborn she is."

"... I think I do." He mumbled to himself,  his mind wandering to your training back at his world. He went to help your mother to prepare breakfast, she told him that she had to leave soon for work so he'd be the one watching over you.

Kylo had just placed the food on the plate when he heard a small thud, he rushed to the living room immediately to see what happened and he what he saw was you on the ground with shock on your face.

"Uh.." You pushed yourself up and tried to fix yourself, "Good morning?"

"I'm glad you're up." Kylo said to you before retreating back to the kitchen to put the plates on the table.

"I see you learned how to cook already?" You followed him and raised your brows.

"You mother did most of the things, I just put everything together." He explained, and sat down on the dining table, you copied his actions and you both started eating.

An uncomfortable silence grew, and only the sound of your spoons and forks hitting the plate were heard. The though of bring Kylo back to the light invaded your mind, you didn't know if you should do it, was it a good thing? light is always good, right?

But what did you know about it? Did you even learn enough from just reading?

Your eyes met Kylo and you cleared your throat before looking away.

"What're you thinking about?" He asked.

"I just-" you tried to decide if you should tell him or not but your mouth acted faster than your mind did. "I- I talked to.. the girl?"

"What girl?" His voice suddenly grew deeper in interest.

"You know... Rey?" You looked at him awkwardly, "through the force."

"But the force doesn't work here." He stated.

"I know, maybe it's because of my abilities? I'm some kind of-"

"-bridge." He finished for you, "My.. mother used to tell me a story about them, a person who connects all the universes, I didn't think it was going to be you."

"What do you mean it you didn't think it was me? I told you about it a lot of times, you even asked me questions about it." You dropped your spoon and fork on the plate and glared at him.

"Let's just say i thought it was your... Imagination?" He said lowly as if he was afraid to say it. "But I believe you now, after all this.."

"Yeah, riiighhht." You scoffed before starting to eat again. The both of you didn't really want to talk about it again so you just started another conversation a few moments later.

"You've never really seen how it is outside, do you want to walk around later?" You offered him.

"Of course." He answered.

When you finished your meal you told him to take a shower and change his clothes before you leave. And when you did, you both walked around the block, it also felt like a tour for you since it's been a while since you came back here.

You met by some people who was close to your mother, you just greeted them and continued to walk, not really wanting to chat.

You passed by the park you used to play on when you were a kid, this was where you met your now- distant best friend, your mother brought you here after school when you were young hoping that it would help you interact with people.

You and Kylo sat on the bench and watched the children play.

"Everyone's so peaceful here, and happy." He said beside you.

"Kylo?" You called for his attention. "Have you ever thought about returning to your mother?"

"Even if I wanted to, I can't. I've done horrible things, but I found my own way in the dark side, and it welcomed me." He turned his head away to look at the people again.

"Why isn't there a neutral side? Like from the show we watched last night? Where you're just somewhere in the middle. Not good not bad, just right."

"There are Gray Jedi-" you cut him off.

"No, there will be no such thing as Jedi or Sith or whatever.. You'll just be a force user out of the fight, just living like this." You motioned to the people.

"It's suburban yet it's still happy." You looked at Kylo with seriousness in your eyes. "Why can't we just stay?"

----

This book doesn't have proper angst yet so watch out (☞ ಠ_ಠ)☞

Permanent Tags: @aintnouseofpretending @just4muggles @heartbeats-wildly @lookinsidemyhead  @katiegoddessofmischief

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Kylo Ren/ Ben Solo Tags:  @dark-night-sky-99 @souriemickey

[heliotrope-r]

I’m a bit miffed that there’s a comic coming out set between TLJ and TROS and Kylo’s still in “seething about destroying the Resistance” mode and ordering the destruction of planets for just helping them. It’s like...I guess his expression and demeanor in the last Force bond didn’t mean that much? It’s also impacting my view of his redemption, not going to lie, he has the authority as SL and is doing a lot worse things and hasn’t learned anything at all, fully regressing...

Oooh! Thank you for asking this, as I was JUST thinking about this very thing tonight and considering writing something up on Twitter about it. Now I’ll do it on Tumblr instead! 

I completely understand (and share!) your frustration with Kylo’s ongoing crusade to crush the Resistance, especially when he knows Rey is with them, and may even know by now that his mother is still alive. How could he behave so cruelly and ruthlessly after what happened at the end of TLJ? Surely after venting his rage against Luke’s Force projection and then finding the base on Crait empty and nothing left for him but the fading illusion of Han’s dice, surely after seeing the reproach on Rey’s face as she closed the door of the Falcon and cut off the Force Bond contact that had opened between them, he should have realized the error of his ways and repented? And if weeks or perhaps even months have passed since then and he’s still raging and frothing about destroying the Resistance and everything and everyone associated with them, doesn’t that look like distressingly like a sign that Kylo Ren is only going to plunge deeper into the Dark Side from this point on, and never repent or return to the Light at all?

At first glance, it certainly does look like that -- and I think a lot of fans are going to see it that way (even including some who sincerely care about Kylo and hoped to see him redeemed in the end, but who can’t imagine how that could be possible anymore). But Kylo’s behaviour in Allegiance #1, disappointing as it may be, is far from being out of line with a redemption story. In fact, it’s perfectly in line with one of the most famous redemption stories of all time -- that of Saul of Tarsus, a man who started out as a fanatical enemy and persecutor of the early Christian disciples, and later ended up being a leading disciple and preacher of the Christian faith himself.

Bear with me here, I’m about to get Bibley on you but it’s all relevant, I promise.

Saul’s first big chance to repent and change -- his TLJ moment, you might call it -- is found in Acts chapter 7, where we meet him witnessing the execution of Stephen, the first Christian martyr. Stephen delivers a powerful, moving speech before his death by stoning, including praying for God to forgive his executioners, and Saul is right there to hear every word of it. But how does he react to this moving scene? The answer is right at the start of chapter 8:

... Saul approved of [Stephen’s] execution. And there arose on that day a great persecution against the church in Jerusalem, and they were all scattered throughout the regions of Judea and Samaria ... Devout men buried Stephen and made great lamentation over him. But Saul was ravaging the church, and entering house after house, he dragged off men and women and committed them to prison.

Judging by his behaviour, it looks like Saul was the very opposite of touched by Stephen’s eloquent speech and courageous death for what he believed. In fact, it just seems to have made Saul hate Christians even more. But then we get to Acts 9, when Saul, who is still “breathing out threatenings and slaughter” (sound familiar?) against the Christians and has even doubled down on his efforts to destroy them, is suddenly struck on his way to Damascus by a vision of Jesus speaking to him from heaven:

And falling to the ground, he heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” And he said, “Who are you, Lord?” And he said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. But rise and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.”

That’s all we get in that chapter to explain what happened to Saul, but it’s the beginning of an absolutely monumental transformation -- his conversion into Paul the apostle, a man who would dedicate the rest of his life to preaching and teaching the message of Jesus Christ and eventually became a martyr himself. And although it might seem like this transformation came out of nowhere, Paul admits in a later account of his conversion that Stephen’s death had made a big impact on him and left him ashamed of what he’d done:

And I said, ‘Lord, they themselves know that in one synagogue after another I imprisoned and beat those who believed in you. And when the blood of Stephen your witness was being shed, I myself was standing by and approving and watching over the garments of those who killed him.’ (Acts 22:20)

But here’s my favorite part, from an even later version of Saul’s testimony:

And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice saying to me in the Hebrew language, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ (Acts 26:14)

In other words, the exact reason Saul was so fiercely motivated to destroy the Christians, the reason he doubled down on attacking them after Stephen was martyred, was not because Stephen’s words and his courage hadn’t moved Saul but precisely because they had. They’d left Saul feeling ashamed of himself for the part he’d taken in Stephen’s murder, and uncomfortably aware that he was very likely taking the wrong side. But instead of admitting he’d been wrong and changing his ways, he’d thrown himself desperately into doing even more harm to the Christians, in an effort to harden his conscience and get rid of those nagging, goading, nastily prickling doubts.

And this is very often the way human beings in general behave when we’re confronted by someone, or something, that tells us we’re doing wrong. We don’t want to hear it, it makes us unhappy and uncomfortable, we’re scared of how much damage we may have done to ourselves and others if we really are wrong -- so we snarl and snap and fight that possibility with everything we’ve got. We can’t see any way out of the hole we’ve already dug for ourselves, so our instinct tells us to just keep digging and pray we end up somewhere.

That’s what I think Kylo Ren is doing in Allegiance #1, and what I expect to still find him doing at the beginning of TROS. He’s kicking against the goads. He knows deep down he’s on the wrong side, that he shouldn’t have refused the chances for redemption that Rey and Luke offered him, and his guilty conscience is driving him wild with frustration. He invested everything he had in becoming Supreme Leader, in proving that he could bring order and peace to the galaxy, and yet the Resistance keeps slipping through his fingers and gaining more and more support for their rebellion. Their very existence taunts him with the knowledge of the good man he could and should have been, and that’s unbearable to him. He has to wipe them out, or (he tells himself) he’ll never know any peace.

Hux and the other First Order generals can afford to be cool about the Resistance, to consider them an insignificant threat, because they’re completely convinced of their own power, superiority and ultimate rightness. Their consciences are so seared by a lifetime of loyalty to Snoke (and before that, the Emperor) that they don’t feel a single iota of doubt or remorse. But Kylo can’t be cool, because he’s terrified. He can’t relax and bide his time, because every second the Resistance continues to exist reminds him that there’s another, better side in this war and he should be on it. 

So in essence, Kylo’s fanatical zeal to destroy the Resistance is exactly what shows us that he isn’t fully committed to evil, despite all his best efforts to prove otherwise. The pre-TFA Kylo who coolly stuck his lightsaber through the Benathy king’s skull and cut his lieutenant off at the knees, who smirked after carving through a Zillo Beast from the inside out and strode into Tuanul like he owned the place, was the closest we’ll ever see him to being a true sold-out-to-the-Dark-Side villain. But the Kylo we’ve been seeing since Crait is a panicked, hysterical mess who makes his own officers side-eye him for his bad strategic decisions, because he literally cannot see past his own obsession with destroying the Resistance. And that very fixation tells me that he’s closer to turning than he’s ever been before.

[unordinary-analysis]

Episode 166

Honorable mentions:

I always love seeing a student with John’s old ‘loser’/helmet hair lmao it makes me happy

For the first time ever, when I say ‘Remi, pop off queen’ you know I actually mean it lol

Tldr: the high-tiers (can’t really call them “royals” anymore can we) establish themselves and prove their worths as paragons (perfect examples) of what royals should be and i applaud them for it

The amount of joker masks that the superhero posse brought in has to be representation of their power. Isen, the lowest-ranking of the superhero posse brought 1, Remi brought 3, and Blyke brought 3. You might be thinking ‘hey remi is more powerful than blyke’ but we know that he’s been working hard recently and because he only has one more mask than Remi, i think this idea is plausible. so let me believe that blyke is more powerful than remi please.

Nothing to really say about Isen except that he needs a hug

Going to ignore that remi listed cecile as someone she wanted to recruit help from because i would just get my hopes up

Only occured to me now that i could pull off a John and Rei comparison especially after reflecting over episode 150

Arlo and seraphina give off such close vibes and it’s obviously because they got close (or at least intensely familiar) when they were the king and queen and i just- i absolutely love when plots or characters go full circle and reflect (revisit?) the start of the story even though that sounds anti-development, it’s not im just bad at explanations.

WHAT I WOULD GIVE FOR CECILE TO BACKSTAB JOHN not that i don’t like john because i absolutely aDORE him because of his impact on the story, but i just want to see Cecile backstab someone and john is convient

just me talking for a bit, scroll if you want to skip to the actual content i understand ;( :

Okay: so.

I’ve figured out that instead of putting little talkative comments in the honorable mentions like I’ve been doing lately, I can put them here and not feel like total trash and that I’m downgrading the post so that’s fun.

Anyway, sorry if the massive ton of parentheses(?spelling) i'm using is confusing or hard to read. I mean, I won’t fix it, but I hope it’s not too bad ya know

Again: sorry for talking like im texting someone in 2017 it’s an issue, im aware. No one ever says anything, but yeah?? Im sorry???

Im panic-writing this an hour before the new episode drops so hopefully this is up before then, there’s no real hope though it takes me 10 minutes just to transfer this from my google doc to tumblr because i have to manually re-add all of the bold and italics and bullet points. Still not removing this bit tho even if (lmao “if”) it’s late ;)

Talking too much, but whenever you see (?”spelling/grammar/word choice/etc”), that just means that I messed up in that way, but I’m too distracted to fix it. Figured i should say that eventually seeing as i literally do that every post

Next post will not be written in first person at all because i think it makes these feel way too familiar and makes new readers uncomfortable which is stupid but is how i would feel so we’re experimenting. If you’ve never read one of my posts, i just act very informal with everything i do and i just want to say, i'm not in this tightly knit niche group that reads these and that ive been friends with for years. i just. Talk like this. So don’t feel like you’re eavesdropping by reading one of these. I really hope im not an outlier in feeling this way when reading other peoples post because if nobody actually feels this way, im bout to be real embarrased oops.

Im getting the talking out of my system because no talking next post.

Yeah this post is late. But: i stopped for pizza in the middle and my webtoon isn’t loading so im like sitting around waiting for it to

Remi:

    Now, in this episode particularly, it has occurred to me that I need to give Remi credit where credit is due. I made a post (AN: multiple posts but we’ll ignore that) over a year ago talking about her abilities as queen and- I did her pretty dirty. Not unfairly, but dirty. I basically dissed her a lot and said that she wasn’t a good queen in any sense. And I’ve done this multiple times (AN: ignore last AN) because I can remember at least 2 other times when I just berated Remi over and over for being shit queen.

    I’m not going to disagree with myself in this post (because I didn’t lie), but I want to give her some credit because I do believe she has changed recently and it has affected how I view her as a position of royalty. And, yes, while it is unclear if she is currently technically still a royal, what with John having somehow destroyed the entire concept of Wellston having royals (?), she has been taking the actions and responsibilities that a royal would. So-

    What made me want to write this out was in this episode, episode 166, I really realized/noticed her attitude and actions dealing with and revolving around this whole joker situation (currently more about the fake jokers) was?? Actually productive?? To explain: In this episode, we see Remi approaching a group of low-tiers who are worriedly talking about the joker situation and 1. Analyzes the conversation in reference to the measures she, Blyke, and Isen are taking to prevent the situation, 2. Reassures the low-tiers that qualified help (her, Blyke, and Isen [aka the superhero posse]) is doing the best they can, and 3. Asks if they have any suggestions or ideas that might help them attain their goal. Like?? Hello?? The Professionalism? And the way she didn’t let her disappointment that her previous efforts up until now affect her is a stark contrast from the Remi of the past. I’ve ripped her apart because of just how often her emotions would completely overwhelm any sense she had. So: that stood out. But, anyway, big picture again: This whole short little scene from her was so impressive?

    Honestly, the fact that Remi is going through all this effort to stop the fake jokers and make sure the low-tiers are safe is very different than what we would’ve seen from her in the past. One of the common reasons that I kept saying Remi was a bad queen was because she didn’t care about her responsibilities and didn’t take her authority seriously. There are even examples of Arlo, or others, telling her this (the example that came to my mind was when Remi was warning students about EMBER and Arlo stepped in [and the reason behind the events of this example helps to support my next point] {ALSO (sorry) afternote: I was reading through everything I’ve ever said about Remi’s leadership and I used this exact example in my post “Remi” from just over a year ago}). Another reason that I was against Remi as queen, which ties nicely with the previous reason (this sounds like repetition of like two seconds ago when I said that my last reason would support this point, but it’s not because words), was that she prioritized personal missions over things her school needed her to do. I remember being very pissed around episodes 110-120 because she ignored the big conflicts happening at Wellston in order to track down this separate crime organization (EMBER) and took Blyke and Isen with her (royals)(who were both against the idea). And I know that her reason for doing this is valid and I do respect her for attempting to avenge her brother, and I would have let this slide if she gave one thought or listened to Isen and Blyke at all about Wellston. I know this still sounds bad on my part, but it was many instances stacked on top of each other of Remi being, not just unconcerned, but unknowing, about Wellston’s current state as a school. At that time, Remi was the queen, she was one of the school’s royals, whose job was to maintain order and peace within the school. I couldn’t see any instances of Remi even attempting to do that. That was in the past though, because obviously, things are different now, like I said. Currently, Remi has gone out of her way to dedicate herself to the wellbeing of Wellston, that is obvious in the way she has been talking with low-tiers and unmasking fake Jokers. I only hope that her new motivation isn’t just a phase brought upon her due to her personal relationship/conflict with Joker, with John. I want to know if John ever happens to be dethroned or Remi somehow gets her technical authority back, will she still be dedicated to the school, or is her motive purely situational? I hope not? Because we’ve seen lots of change from her recently what with learning of the low-tiers mistreatment and all, so let’s cross our fingers.

    Regardless, there has been improvement in Remi. In her leadership and dedication. And that needs to be acknowledged. So I am doing it. Yeah. Here you go. Badge of honor for Remi.

    Obviously, most of what I’ve said also applies to Isen and Blyke, who are honestly going above and beyond (especially Blyke), just this section is a response to my previous statements of how Remi is not a good queen, not only for Wellston, just in general. And, again, while I still agree with my evaluation of Remi as a queen in reference to her past self and past episodes, This is a new development I felt obligated to talk about. :).

Blyke’s idea (?word choice confuses me):

Wowee this is a fun one. So: Blyke broke up a fake joker fight in a hallway this episode, and i just have to acknowledge this like I did for remi: props, but anyway, I was very intrigued by the way he handled the damage control like?? He refuses for the fake joker to be unmasked (?grammar) and gives the reason, “I’m not about to show his face so that you all can just gang up on him later!” And: applause. I think that this has occurred to me before, I just never dwelled on that idea, so I was taken off guard by this from Blyke. He was able to understand this and form a plan with how to deal with it? I don’t know about you, but that screams king behavior. Anyway, what Blyke does is take the fake joker to a separate room and unmasks him privately then talks with him as a way to both protect the fake joker’s safety and discourage him from any future stunts like the one he pulled a sec ago. And?? This is so great because, guys, this is liTERALLY the concept of like anger management and behavior therapy?? 

I especially liked how Blyke took the time to hear the low-tier out(something that the high-tiers are really starting to do [technically because of john because john became joker and caused all of this {and since john wanted to destroy the hierarchy because high-tiers didn’t give a shit about the low-tiers in a way he’s achieved his goal, albeit unknowingly}]). And, like i literally just said, by hearing him out, he’s creating yet another bubble of safety around the low-tier because immediately after (okay maybe not immediately, blyke did scold him a bit), Blyke says that whenever the low-tier is being picked on, he can come to Blyke. And NOT ONLY does this whole thing help with the fake jokers issue, but Blyke, along with Isen and Remi, are creating trust and respect between the low-tiers and high-tiers. This is them doing the hierarchy right! They are establishing themselves as leaders and as people that can be relied upon, which is exactly who the royals are supposed to be.

Just want to say: He also talked about how the guy who got attacked should also reflect on his actions, and yes, this deserves recognition, but this has been a common theme, so I didn’t think it was worth really discussing. Blyke got bonus points for this. Extra credit if you will.

    Remi’s idea:

    Back to Remi, but her idea about recruiting John to help get rid of the Jokers? Excuse me? The innovation, the growth, the potential. And, I know this was shut down pretty quickly by Blyke, but I still have to talk about it??? And this section is starting off horribly because there was absolutely no transition or introduction but hello?? 

    Anyway, obviously the fact that Remi would even suggest getting any help from John (Joker) is astonishing. 1. He literally beat up everyone present in the scene 2. Honestly from what john’s doing for all anyone knows, he likes that low-tiers are faking being joker (remi even points this out lmao) 3. Again, he beat everyone up? Not exactly looking good for any kind of compromise. And yet despite these obvious reasons, Remi still lists him as a possible ally. Why?

    Because when she met up with him before he completely dethroned the Wellston hierarchy, she noticed similarities in their goals and their beliefs. She says, and quotation marks mean quote, “When I spoke with him… I really thought both of us wanted the same thing… Just that our methods of approaching the situation were different.” !!!!!!! Remi knows that they really want the same thing: a safe environment for low-tiers. That was the one thing that John kept repeating over and over when they met up and talked (episode 150) (other than the fact that royals are shit but-): he wanted to create a school environment that was safe for the low-tiers. Whether or not that’s his goal now, or if he’s acting with that goal in mind, Remi obviously remembered this the most from their conversation because it seemed so similar to the way she was thinking. And Remi thinks that it would be possible that John would prioritize this over his dedication to his own personal project of destroying the school :).

    Anyway, this whole idea is scrapped by Isen and Blyke who give valid arguments as to why trying to ally with John is a really bad idea, but oh my god the way my heart stopped.

    This section is basically a summary and very quick, but this scene in the comic was riveting because of this. I just don’t know what else to say.

[inquisitorhotpants]

okay let’s just get this out of the way.

i didn’t like it.

If you liked it, I am honestly jealous of you! I wish I did. But I am really uninterested in any attempts to convince me to like it.

TROS review, with spoilers, below the cut

So I walked out of the theater very “meh” on it. Almost everyone else in my friend circle seemed like they loved it, so I ruminated on it for a couple days and came to a conclusion.

I’m not meh. 

I really, really don’t like that movie. I will likely never turn it on of my own volition.

These are not in any particular order, just as they come to me.

The pacing is absolute shit. 

JJ’s “Lost” buddies got more lines and screentime than Rose, an established character they promised was getting a bigger more impressive role in TROS. 

Everything important Rose did got cut. That lightspeed hopping Poe was doing? Rose worked it out. But I guess we didn’t need to know that.

There are more effective ways to communicate in a movie than having Poe stand around reciting exposition about things he shouldn’t know about, but clearly JJ Abrams is uninterested in any of them

So many unearned emotional moments that mean nothing to the characters but JJ slaps in there to mash the dopamine button because HEY REMEMBER THIS YOU GUISE

So just to be clear, Leia can fucking FLY THROUGH THE VACUUM OF SPACE but just mentally communicating with her shitty kid kills her, sure jan

Rey would have just fucking killed Palpatine if he’d just shut the fuck up but no

Someone banged Sheev Palpatine.

Who also managed to somehow survive the second death star FUCKING EXPLODING.

You had the chance to show a fucking sith cult and went with “have Poe recite exposition about a sith cult”

The universe shows up for Lando, but not Leia??? 

Do not get me wrong, i adore Lando! But I really feel like even Lando and Chewie would have been like, “what the fuck??” about this?

JJ Abrams is a fucking shit writer

Pretending everything in TLJ doesn’t exist - except for some halfassed R*ylo, apparently - is shitty

Rey felt grossly OOC this whole fucking movie.

SHE ABANDONED FINN ON THE GODDAMN DEATH STAR

In theory, the Palpatine thing could have been good in the right hands; JJ Abrams was not the right hands.

All it took for Kyle Ron to stop being a space fascist was thinking about his dad telling him to be nice? THAT’S IT? Well hell, why are we punching Richard Spencer when we can just ask his dad to tell him to be a good boy??

Why the hell did we bury the lightsabers on Tatooine? All Luke ever wanted was to get away from there. It meant nothing to Leia. It meant nothing to Rey. It was literally only there so that viewers could go OMG I LOVE ANH and get teary eyed

So after that frankly excellent acting where Rey tells Kyle Ron to leave her the fuck alone, we get heart eyes and “Ben!” and a fucking kiss? 

When she doesn’t even know who the fuck Ben Solo even is??

Neither do we because he has no fucking lines??

Finn is the glue that holds this fucking trio together and he’s reduced in half the movie to running after Rey. Gross.

We seriously took the member of the trio with the most established backstory and most filled in timeline in canon, played by a Latino actor ... and made him a former drug dealer. really? not a single person went “hmm maybe this looks bad”?

Fic writers will do hours of research so they don’t get something wrong in a PWP smutfic, and you can’t research Poe’s backstory for four seconds?

please enjoy your three minutes in each set piece, keep all hands and arms inside the screaming traincar at all times, and ... nowwww we’re going to slowwwww dowwwwwwwn so Rey and Kyle can Force Skype for no apparent reason

there are no actual stakes

“Chewie died!” just kidding

“threepio is gone!” just kidding

“we don’t have a fleet!” just kidding

“kylo ren, head fascist, is dead!” just kidding

“Final Order” is dumb as fuck

so much finnrey baiting

this covers the part about unearned emotional moments much better than i ever could 

Good thing Vader eliminated that galactic menace, amirite? oh wait

“closes the entire saga” hey jj you know there are NINE movies in the saga, right? cause there sure wasn’t fuckall about the prequels in there.

this “trilogy” doesn’t feel like one. at all. 

it’s so checkboxy. “they want r*ylo, check! no r*ylo, check! use that leia footage - shit we’re out, give her the weakest death imaginable. twin suns! palpatine! let hayden say a couple words so the prequels fans shut the fuck up! ‘everyone’ complained about rose, cut her out! cameos out the ass!”

The Knights of Ren were boring af.

rey gets no character growth

Are we just gonna make all the black folks in the movies related? Lando & Jannah already are, so do we get a short in a couple months where we find out Finn is his son and they’re all related to Mace Windu? 

It just felt very “i didn’t like your movie so i’m going to make 2 and 3 in one smashed together mediocre movie”.

I just cannot get past shit writing and shit pacing and a hack job at “homage”

Now i’m stuck looking at a hundred hot takes on twitter about how “this is ben solo’s trilogy! he’s the real hero! he’s the poor abused boy and no one else has ever had it worse in the entire star wars sagaaaaaaaaaaaa and how dare rey get everything while he was abused and neglected and had NOTHING” thanks jj

Y’all I love this cast and they deserved so much better than what they got from this trilogy.

I suppose there were a couple of things I liked.

the music was phenomenal, as always. Palpatine’s theme done in the style of Rey’s theme was great. 

space horses!

FINN FINN FINN FINN FINN

FORCE SENSITIVE FINN

the bickering scene. I got my hopes up after that. They were quickly disappointed as Rey quickly went off into OOC-land

Dark Rey and that little snarl at the end

I thought the new force powers were cool af. It’s about time we do something with the Force beyond jumpy jumps, zoomies, and the jedi mind trick

I’ve only known D-0 for 4 days but if anything happened to him ... you know the rest.

i actually enjoy the theme of “you are not your bloodline” but it was done so much better by Claudia Gray.

Anytime the trio was together was good.

As much as I am super “eh” on Kyle Ron as a character, I appreciate Adam Driver as an actor, and the scene where Rey passes him the lightsaber and he does that little shrug with the smirk, that was good. I liked that quite a bit. 

The problem is that cool setpieces do not a good movie make.

I started The Witcher the day after I went to the movie, purely to stop thinking about this shitshow of a movie, and that show is great. xD